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t3_ejqll | AskReddit | So Let's See If Reddit Is Worth Its Salt....Can Anyone Make This For Me? | So, with the holiday (Decemberween, that is) fastly approaching, I have found myself in the position in which I must produce the gift of a jigsaw puzzle for Mrs. Mayor Of Awesometown.
I am going to order one of those use-your-own-graphic jigsaw puzzles. As an inside joke which wouldn't be funny to any of you, the theme of this jigsaw puzzle needs to be "Burro Advisory".
Can any of you fine, upright citizens produce such a graphic utilizing your amazing Photoshop skills? Mine, alas, are poorly lacking.
Anything that neatly represents "Burro Advisory" would do, as long as it will work well on a puzzle (i.e. it's not just the words "Burro Advisory" on a white background). If anyone would like to take this task on, I will not only give you a nice pat on the back, but I will also give you a declaration of "Kudos" for a job well done!
Any takers? | Make me a damn "Burro Advisory" graphic! Huzzah! |
t3_2e83kx | tifu | TIFU by pissing in a cup.. | I frequently visit relatives on my free weekends. Today was no different; however, I forgot to take a leak before embarking on my 3 hour trip. Well, about an hour into my trip I really had to go. Ironically, I saw a guy pissing on the side of the road without a care in the world.
I thought about stopping, but I hate stopping on my long drives. Why? Mostly because I hate long drives and just want to get it over with. Plus, it was raining and I didn't to get wet by pulling off on the side of the road.
Anyway, I took my younger brother out to a sub shop the other night and I still had both of our cups. He inadvertently left his full cup of Coke when I dropped him off. Mine had a little bit of diet left in it.
I knew I had to go bad, so no way I was going to be able piss in the cup without getting piss everywhere, if I didn't drink the diet soda. So I decide to chug the soda. Ugh it was completely nasty. Old diet soda is gross.
I unzip my pants, whip out my junk, and grab the cup. Now any of the guys out there with huge cocks, I'm not one of them. So I move some fat out of the way and let her rip. There was a little splatter, but nothing unbearable.
Okay, I think I'm good, so I begin to move the cup. Bam, instantly spray my pants with piss. FUUUUUU.
Whatever, it will dry. A little while later, I began to get thirsty. Mindlessly, since I was driving and focusing on the rain, picked up the wrong cup and had just filled my mouth with Luke warm piss.
I immediately regretted my decision to not stop as I spit the piss all over myself. At this point, I'm raging and in my rage I decide to dump the piss out the window...
Sure enough at 60 mph it came back and hit me in the face. This is the last time I forget to piss before I leave and not atop when I have to go. Today was not my day. | pissed in cup while driving, ended up pissing myself, grabbed wrong cup and drank some piss, then dumped it out of the window, just to get a face full of - you guessed it - piss. |
t3_1akrj8 | relationships | How do I [24f] get my fiance [23m] to work on his issues? | I'm 24F. He's 23M. We've been engaged for 1.5 years and dating for 8.
I'm worried about his health. He's gained quite a bit of weight recently (he's not overweight, but he's always been VERY slim naturally, so it is a significant amount) and I know he's in a bad place mentally (even if he won't admit it), but he's refusing to do anything about it like going to see a counselor, **even though I have suggested he do so.**
So, this might be unpopular given much of Reddit is anti-Christian, but I'm on a mission trip to the Congo right now. I thought my life was going well, as I was just awarded my Master's Degree in art history and was offered a high-paying job as a museum curator, but God had other plans for me. One day I was just overwhelmed and fell to my knees and started praying and weeping for over an hour, but I was moved to go on a mission trip to the Congo. I really didn't want to because it is a very dangerous place, I'd have to reject an amazing job offer, and delay my wedding, but I knew it was what God wanted, so I didn't think twice about it.
I've been gone about 4 months now, and I won't be home for another 6 to 8. Then after about a month at home, I have to see whether or not God is calling me to go back again. Internet is spotty, so I don't always get to communicate with him on a regular basis, but I try to as often as possible.
Anyway, this is obviously part of what's affecting him. I know he's worried about me and he misses me. How do I get him to work on his issues? | I'm on a missionary trip and it's affecting my fiance negatively. How do I convince him to work on his issues? (physical and mental) |
t3_1vuaee | relationships | I [22M] Just Saw That My Buddy [24M] Just Got With My Ex [21F] On Facebook. I Don't Know How To Feel. | I am in a very happy (despite my last post) relationship of 6 months with future looking very bright. I immediately felt like I was in a much happier place when I broke up with my ex and got with my current girlfriend. I talked to her about this when it happened, and she says that she understands how I feel. I'm not mad or upset that they are together. Just a touch peeved that they would hide it from me.
When my ex who we will call A and I broke up I got together with my current girlfriend who we shall call M pretty soon after. A took it hard and blocked me on Facebook and hasn't spoken to me since the break up except to have me fix her car about a week after we broke up. Anyhow, I got a notification yesterday morning that A liked a picture of us from when we first started dating five years ago.
A also posted around the same time a new relationship status with a guy I went to high school, played on the same sports team with for four years, and have known for about nine years. Me and him don't hang out that often, but we do text fairly frequently. I think that they are kind of an odd match up, but I think they are both good people and I think they could work.
Is it wrong that I feel like they should have given me some sort of heads up before going public? I don't think that my opinion on them getting together should have any impact on what two adults do, but I do think it's common courtesy to give someone you've known for a long time and considers you a friend that you plan to get with a girl they were with for five years.
What do you guys think? | Buddy got with my ex who I was with for five years. Should they have given me a heads up? |
t3_3oiasj | relationships | My(m26) friend (f20) recently had sex, have only known eachother for 2-3 weeks. Says she wants to keep what we have but not be in a relationship. | I'm probably going to sound like the bad guy here. But here it goes. I met this girl in class recently, and she was super flirty with me. I knew she was younger but i went along with it. Eventually asked her on a date, went out a few times..and then had sex. Once one night and then two times another night. Recently I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes.
Texts me a few days later saying the age difference is big and shes not looking for anything long term. Wants to keep doing what were doing but without the relationship...is she trying to say she wants to sleep with other people but also keep sleeping with me? I might be looking too deep into this. But i'd figure i'd share here and see what others say.
After she said that I said a brief "Oh wow, thats unexpected. Alright then. Have a good one." And havent talked to her since. Any insight? | met this girl, dated, asked her out, said yes, now she wants to be friends with benefits. why? |
t3_259gsm | tifu | TIFU By putting nicotine in my eye | I usually sleep with my contacts in and have a small bottle of contact solution on my nightstand to moisten them in the mornings. Well the night before I had filled my E cigarette and placed the bottle on my nightstand. Well I woke up this morning groggily and reached for my contact solution. I then dripped 4 drops in my left eye and realized my fuck up as I immediately felt an intense burning in my eye. I flushed my eye and called poison control. They told me to flush it longer and go to the hospital if the pain/irritation persisted more than an hour. | Got an ultra nic fix to left eye with E cig liquid instead of contact solution |
t3_3ithx2 | relationships | Me [24 M] and my SO [22 F] of 2.5 yrs talked about going on a "break" because we're too busy to talk since she started her job. | My SO and I have been together 2.5 years, most of it being long distance. I moved 2 hours away for graduate school 2 years ago, and we've been doing well for the most part.
Things have gotten worse though since July, after she graduated and started a new job. Now she feels too tired in the evenings to talk and its putting a huge strain on our relationship. We saw each other for the first time today in 3 weeks, and it felt distant, like catching up with an old friend, not talking to your SO.
We talked about our issues and its come down to trying to work things out (but we don't know how) and breaking up (or taking a break...). I have 2 years of school left, and she thinks we'll be able to make things work once we can be in the same place.
I don't think taking a break for 2 years is at all reasonable, but I don't know how to fix our communication issues. Its all made more complicated because she says she wants to marry me and have a family in the future (and I agree).
Any insight or thoughts on how to handle this? | SO of 2.5 yrs wants to go on a break for 2 yrs, then try and resume where we left off. I want to fix the long distance relationship, but I don't know how. |
t3_cnw2f | AskReddit | I just found out my girlfriend of 2 years slept with one of our common friends while I was 'courting' — should I be pissed? | Throwaway...
So my girlfriend of 2 years let slip that she slept with one of our common friends while we were/weren't kinda sorta dating...it was murky lead up to what's gone on to be a long and pretty great relationship.
The thing is, I don't feel like I should care or be jealous, but I think I am. Dude-man is/was a waste of space, so while I know I shouldn't judge, I am. I think definitely a big part of it is that she's only the second person I've slept with (my choice, not to sound arrogant, but it's just true) while she has with 6 guys.
I think maybe the most bothersome part of this is that she turned bright red and clearly wished she hadn't let the cat out of the bag.
Something just doesn't sit right with me about it — I mean, I spent a year trying to win her over and finally did...but now it feels cheapened because she fucked a loose friend of ours while I was head over heels for her and kept it under wraps all this time. I realize I'm probably being prudish but I can't help it. When you get that gutted feeling in your stomach, it is what it is.
I realize the advice will probably be: Get the fuck over it and get on with it...but I guess I'm just looking for some perspective. | I probably should have slept with more people before settling down a bit. |
t3_2j07tk | relationships | I've [25F] never been in a relationship. Should I put myself out there for experience's sake? | I'm not antisocial or grotesque, but I've never been in a relationship. I've had opportunities, but either A) I just wasn't interested in pursuing one (wrong people, wrong time) , or B) I shied away at the thought before anything real could happen (partly because I was ashamed at my complete lack of experience). I can make friendly pretty easily with both genders, but I've never felt the need to be in a romantic relationship. I think it's because I was basically raised to be emotionally and physically distant, and it's a hard habit to un-learn. Plus, I'm very physically clumsy, in what little experience I do have.
The older I get, the more bizarre it becomes--to the point where I feel like I might as well throw myself out there just for the experience. The problem is, now that I'm not in school anymore, it's so much harder to develop those kinds of relationships organically. How freaky/off-putting is it for someone of my age to be in my situation, especially someone you wouldn't expect it from (no religious values about purity, no crippling social anxiety)? If and when I do engage in a relationship, should I just keep my lack of experience to myself? | basically no romantic experience, little desire to get experience. Gets weirder and weirder as I age, so I feel like I need to out of societal pressure. |
t3_2c7hag | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] of a year, had mutual break up. I can't decide what to think of it. | I don't know if this is the place for this, but here it goes...
My ex boyfriend and I had been together for over a year. We fit into each other's lives more than I did with anybody else, even people I've been close to since elementary school. I was able to open myself mentally and physically to him more than I thought was possible.
Now we have broken up for a couple of days. As expected I was a wreck for a while-laying in bed till I had to leave for work at night. All I thought about was him. All I wanted was him.
Now he said he wants to wait a certain amount of time to decide if he wants to go back out. During our time apart I will be doing everything in my power to better myself because I am tired of self-loathing, tiredness, worthlessness and everything else that is self-destructive. I have set a reminder on my phone as "Do I want to?" for the day he said. I will be thinking about how we feel, if I see a future, and if it's heathy. I hope at the end I'll make the right decision for me. | Boyfriend and I did a mutual break up. I regretted it, and he was to rethink things in a certain amount of time. I will work to better myself and decide for me what's best. |
t3_555wqv | relationships | The woman [19F] I'm dating wants me [24M] to hang out with her friends but I'm too nervous. | She is a college student who is involved in a organization that I am an alumni of (how we met). I sort of helped get her a leadership position and don't want anyone to know we're dating because of that and also because I think people would judge me because of the age difference. So far our relationship has been kept secret (except from her closest friend, which is ok I guess). The past couple weekends she has tried to get me to hang out with her group of friends at college, but I didn't because it made me very nervous. I feel like they would be able to tell that we're dating if we show up together, and I'd also feel weird hanging out with a bunch of college kids since I'm past that point in my life. See my post history for more details. Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated. | Nervous to hang out with her friend's because age difference and keeping relationship a secret. |
t3_2gv0cv | relationships | My BF [29M] and I [26F] have been fighting about the dry cleaning bill and it's so petty | My BF and I recently moved in together, but we've been together for a few years now. Overall, things have been great, but we just got into the absolute pettiest fight that I can imagine, but somehow it's grown to be a big fucking deal and I really need some perspective. We have a joint account for "household stuff" that we use for rent, bills, groceries, dates, etc. We have similar salaries and we put in the same amount each month, and it hasn't been a problem.
Except one thing: our dry cleaning bill. 90% of my non-workout wardrobe is dry clean only, and I do tend to wrack up around $500 or so in dry cleaning a month. My boyfriend also has dry cleaning, but except for his work shirts, most of his every day clothes are tshirts and jeans so he's been walking around in shock for the past few months. He doesn't understand why this huge dry cleaning bill should come out of household funds when 90% of it is mine.
I'm annoyed because while most of the dry cleaning is mine, it seems so petty and cheap to make a huge issue out of it. We don't do that with any of our other bills! Our grocery bill is way bigger than the dry cleaning bill, and he definitely eats 90% of the food that we buy, since he has to have his nice steaks and beer and all that every night, and I've never made a big deal about it. I eat breakfast/lunch at work and probably at least 2-3 dinners a week out at various work functions, and we go out over the weekend, so I literally eat 2 meals a week at home. And our grocery bill is HUGE. Another example would be the gas card- he drives a gas guzzling monster and I drive a Prius so he wracks up a hugely one-sided bill on that too. We're going to get married and it'll all be the same thing, anyway. It just seems ridiculous to nickel and dime one another. | BF is trying to nickel and dime our household account and I'm annoyed. |
t3_11t9jm | relationship_advice | [19/m] needs to be more loving | So there is this girl I'm so in love with. We have known each other for quite some time, but have had a rocky past (due to my poor, inconsiderate, and generally asshole-y decisions). We are long distance, but I feel like we are a couple and refer to her as my girlfriend. We have dated and broken up twice and have had a few falling outs, but always seem to find each other. Recently, we met up for the first time and it was nothing short of absolutely perfect. I had the greatest time with her and I want more of that one day. I am working my butt off to do good in college so I can go to a fantastic school near her.
Admittedly, I have never been great with relationships. I have not had many, and in most of them I have messed it up somehow. This girl I have hurt far, far worse than I could have ever imagined, and I deeply regret treating her so horribly. I feel I have made good progress in being not only a good partner, but a good person, but I still have room for improvement.
My questions are:
How can I be more loving and affectionate towards her?
How can I show her I love her more spontaneously?
How can I get over my own shyness (for lack of a better word), and call her more often? I often worry I'm interfering with her schedule or our schedules will conflict and we cannot talk much. She has school, two jobs, and her sports.
Sometimes I get... Too sexual and it's all we talk about for a while. It makes her feel used and that I do not care about her. How can I be more intimate and loving in the bedroom?
Is there a way I can get over my own inhibitions about life and develop as a person? Sometimes I feel paralyzed by how inexperienced I am in life (never had a job, do not know much about the "real world", not many friends).
I want to give everything to this girl and treat her like the princess she is to me. Thanks for reading. | Bad boyfriend needs advice on how to be more loving, caring, intimate with girlfriend. Things are great when we are with each other, but get strained once apart. |
t3_52rhjy | loseit | Fighting off my last kilograms. Progress - very slow. Recalculated TDEE. ARE YOU JOKING? | F24, 5'8'', 62.0 kg, BF 23.8% ... Goal: 60.0 kg and BF 20%.
Progress has been slow in the past few weeks. Barely 0.5kg / week.
OK. There may have been snaccidents (still under maintenance). And I thought - I am to blame for the slowness of my progress. Maybe I felt a bit deflated.
HOWEVER, today I decide to re-calculate my TDEE. I put in my states, switch to Sedentary (as one should)... 1678 kcals / day.
Literally, are you JOKING. 1 - that explains the slow progress perhaps even more than my lack of will-power. 2 - How oh How does one live on 1678 kcals / day on maintenance. Ladies?
Input my BFs stats. 2200 kcals / day. Told him about the difference. His response? "god damn it I love being a man"
Is it gonna be protein shakes, a banana, and chicken breast, veg and couscous lunch-boxes for me forever?
Sorry, even shorter thin ladies if this sounds like whinging. When I started my sed TDEE was 2000 kcals / day. | How do you survive mentally on TDEE 1678 kcals/day |
t3_3g826b | tifu | TIFU By sleeping naked | Hello Reddit, just happened.
I LOVE to sleep nude, it is absolutely my favorite thing because no one can see me, it's super comfy, and anyone who thinks otherwise about either one of those things can fuck off.
To the story, I've been having stomach pain all week, not much shitting except the last 2 days it's finally clearing up but tonight I've been releasing massive amounts of gas.
I decide to go to bed and my stomach started hurting again so I pulled the blankets off me, put my knees to my chest and got into doggy position.
I was farting so long and so good until I built up the God of farts I kept holding and blasted my sheets with liquid shit, instant regret.
I put my sheets in the washer and bleached my mattress so I am now letting it dry. | love to sleep nude, charged up the fart, sharted on 800 thread count. |
t3_3an74n | relationships | My (22 f) husband (25 m) keeps looking at porn. Need help if he's in the wrong or if I am. | We've been together about six years. Our sex life is pretty kinky I think. I give him blowjobs frequently and any position he might like. I'm very open and have a huge sex drive. I never deny him sex but he denies me (he does work about 12 hours shifts so its usually because hes tried). About a year ago I accidentally saw he was looking up porn and he lied to my face about it. I ended up walking out of the house for about six hours to think. I was more upset about him lying. But to be honest, I've gained about 30 pounds of weight after we got married, most of it because of depression/adjusting to married life. My self esteem is at an all time low. He's so good about it though. Still complimenting me, still saying I'm sexy but we maybe have sex once a week. After me finding porn on his phone (a lot of it), it crushed me. He told me he wouldnt lie to me anymore about it. Since then I've seen it on our shared laptop maybe 3-4 times, I brought it up and all he says is "I'm sorry" and "I'll stop"'. I know it's my own insecurities but how do I get passed it? If he's choosing porn over having sex with me? And he knows my sex drive is high and I don't ever deny him. Is there something wrong with me? Am I being overbearing? It still hurts me and he knows. I've just pushed it into the back of my mind but idk what to do with this situation. Should I press it further or let it go? We have a pretty healthy relationship. We kiss and are very affectionate (touching, cuddling, grabbing eachothers butts etc). I know he isn't cheating nor would he. Should I see counseling for my own issues? (I have been sexually abused before but i have seen counseling for it)
(B/) | my husband keeps looking at porn even though he knows it upsets me |
t3_4jjk7f | AskDocs | Post-headache disturbances? Is this typical? | 24, Male.
So about three weeks ago, I developed what I think was tension headaches. I began to feel these headache after a particularly long day of focusing on work and maybe I was a little loopy/stressed. These headaches felt like a constant pressure that was located at my temples and the back of my head. I went to sleep that day and woke up and after a few minutes, the same kind of headaches began again. There were no associated symptoms (feeling a slight feverish but did not check temp). I tried to massage my neck, take excerderin and other stress-relieving measures. My headache got a little better (excerderin was the one that helped a little) but it finally sorta resolved after two weeks.
Now, I don't really have those headaches anymore but I feel like some things are different. I still have some points on my head that are tender (parts of my temple and points on the back of my head). I believe that I can palpate more of the arteries that surround my parts of initial headache. I went running and could definitely feel pressure in my head and I felt like these arteries are popping out. Also, I feel slightly out of balance. No gait disturbance or anything like that but slightly off-balance. I also just don't feel like my old self again and I feel like I'm becoming hyperaware of everything that I do, feel or any of my actions. Lastly, my head does feel a little heavier (like when someone has a cold).
I'm trying to make an appointment but I guess I am just anxious about what this could be and how much is in my head and how much could actually be in my head. I just don't want this to be something worse. I constantly have this fear that a tumor is growing and I'm gonna have a seizure at a random time.
I don't have any relevant past medical history, past surgical history, or family history. No medications and no EtOH/smoking. No supplements or any illicit drugs. No travel or anything new. No constitutional symptoms. | A 24-year old male presents with 2 week history of tension headaches characterized by constant pressure around temples and occipital regions. Acute stress event is noted but has no other associated factors. No prior history of similar headaches. Headaches have gone but now has tenderness at points at temples and back of head. Patient also complains of feeling slightly off-balance and "not feeling like himself". Is this normal? |
t3_18592w | needadvice | is it ok to use my flatmates ps3? | she is on vacation, i take care of the cat, and i forgot to ask if i could play with her ps3. i usually don't, because i like to play computergames or videogames more alone and intense (get lost in the game, forget my surroundings). also she is not that inviting and also a little bit socially awkward as well.
so i have a week to play for myself, but i am not sure if i should. i wouldn't think it would be a problem, because she is really cool and stuff. but i want to know if i am braking any boundaries there (her door is open most of the time any way...) ?
also, what can i do wrong on a ps3? delete any savegames or something?
if you can tell me what you would prefer when it was your room/ps3. i wouldn't mind, but people are different, right? | is it ok do go in my flatmates room to play ps3 when she is not there? |
t3_2hv7ht | relationships | Me [22 F] with some dude [mid 20s maybe? M] keeps asking me about homework.... | So this guy has been showing signs he likes me by adding me on facebook, initiating convos about random stuff, and eventually asked for my number. This all started since summer. He replies very late, I'm talkin hours to a day. Though he did tell me he is rarely on facebook... but even his texts take this long.
We are in a group project together now (lasts all year long), and in the same classes this year. This is why I assumed he asked for my number, except it turned out he never asked for any of the other group members' numbers. My assumption is that I'm the most comfortable person to be around for him, since the other members seem to dislike him. (He often missed group meetings which the group takes seriously)
Now all he asks me about is homework deadlines. I am a little irritated by this because it feels like I'm just his little manager/assistant or something. 5 hours ago, he asked me about an assignment. No reply.
When I do approach him in person, I can't really read him. He seems confident and out-going at times, but other times he seems shy and even nervous. What really fucks me over is how he's ripped... it's hard to imagine how he can be timid.
I know my best bet is to talk to him in person, but I'm not sure how to approach him. He's practically a stranger, and at this point, I'm not sure if he's even interested. One time I did sit behind him without thinking, but he moved all the way across the other side of the room. Lol, what the fuck... | Timid muscular guy keeps asking about homework and group meeting schedule. Is he interested or does he enjoy not having to remember this shit himself? He also takes forever to reply. |
t3_p0y78 | legaladvice | I was arrested. Probable cause? | I hired a cab company to drive me to the airport. The driver was being a real jerk to me the whole way there, and when we arrived at the airport I realized I didn't have enough cash. Then I found out the driver didn't take credit cards. I knew there'd be a ATM in the terminal, so I told him to wait right there and I'd be back with the money. The driver wasn't happy, but what else could I do, right? I had trouble finding an ATM, and I got stopped by some business associates on the way, and the next thing I know, the cab driver and two cops come up and arrest me. I was only in the terminal for 10 minutes. The police informed me that the driver had "sworn out a warrant" against me. I was charged with petit larceny. I was released later that day, and I worked things out with the cab company. They said they would call the prosecutor and try to get the charges dropped, and he must have done so because the prosecutor called me and said he'd consider dropping the charges after hearing my side. But I still have to appear in court in a couple months. Is this malicious prosecution? Did the police have probable cause to arrest me? | I got arrested for some dumb shit. |
t3_1vwp09 | relationships | GF's ex from 5 years ago showed up at our house and left her a note | asking if she wanted to get coffee.
we moved back about 3 months ago to her hometown after 3 years of living elsewhere. about a week ago, he contacted my gf's friend on facebook asking for gf's number. the friend did not respond. today he showed up at our house and left a note with my gf's stepdad. we are currently living with her mom and stepdad and there is nothing to link her to this house. she does not have the same last name as either her mom or stepdad.
we're pretty creeped out, they dated for less than a year when she was 17 and she hasn't talked to him in years. what the hell do we do? it seems that he knew she moved back. he couldn't have gotten the address from old friends or anything. only 2 of her old friends have been to the house and neither of them would know the address (or give it to him). it's really fucking freaky.
what should we do? he left his number on the note. | ex from 5 years ago found our house somehow and we dont know what to do |
t3_2jfls5 | relationships | I still can't tell difference between being friendly and flirty. Me [M22], her [F22] | I'm absolutely awful at reading signals from the opposite gender. Recently I got back in touch with friends from highschool, and a lot of them said they flirted really heavily with me. I never picked up on it and didn't reciprocate. Lately, I'm having the opposite problem where I feel like a girl is interested, but when I ask them if they'd like to go on a date with me, they tell me they'd prefer to stay friends and not complicate things. I'm past being upset about it, I just want to know what I'm doing wrong so I'm not alone anymore. I feel like everyone around me is an expert and can just tell when someone is interested, while I feel like its flipping a coin.
I asked one of my friends (girl in the title) out a couple of months ago. We had been spending a lot of time together, would go on long walks, talk about everything. She would always invite me out for drinks and to go dancing, and would dance a lot closer to me than the other guys who asked her. I asked her out and she turned me down, and it screwed up our friendship for a while. We both went our separate ways, and got on with our lives. I saw her last week and things were back to the really comfortable way it used to be. And she's been texting/snap chatting me nonstop. I know I should just ask her what's up, but last time I did it screwed everything up. Should I just accept being friends, or try and address my confusion? | how do I tell the difference between flirting and being friendly |
t3_coj80 | self | How do I help my girlfriend stop cutting? | My girlfriend of about a year showed me when we were about three months in that she had been cutting her arm. I was completely suprised, since it was totally unexpected. She has been doing this sinve 9th grade on and off, and is entering 12th grade this fall. She has cut herself about twice more since she told me, the last time about a month ago with a hiatus of several months between that and the second time. I have talked with her a lot about this, and she can't really find a way to get herself to stop. Currently two of her friends know, and I have told two of my best friends.
Basically she sayd that she does it when she is angry about something that she can't change and is really pissing her off; it's a way to relieve stress or something. I'm completely on the other end of the spectrum and can't at all contemplate why someone would hurt themselves.
I don't know, Reddit... What do I tell her/how can I help her/what do I DO?!
Im also leaving for college at the end of august and probably will break up with her (but I really want to keep in touch and see how things are when I get back; if they're good, then keep going. If not, let it be) so I don't want to make her desperate and masochistic after I'm not there to talk to her all the time. | gf cuts herself, HALP. Leaving for college in a month and a half. |
t3_2yqloo | relationships | (22m) exhausted with not being able to get over the last girl I was with (sort of a rant) | I feel so exhausted with not being able to get over this girl. We had only been going out seriously for about a month or two, but had been talking for a long time before that (since the summer) and I knew she was interested in me for a while. She actually started going out with some other guy for a little while before we started going out, and so there was a period of time where I stopped talking to her before we smoothed things over and started going out ourselves.
We ended everything because we wanted different things and both wanted the relationship to head in different directions so it didn't make sense for us to continue with what we were doing. I know the breakup was for the best and was in my best interest to end things, but it's been probably a month since we broke up and I have not been able to go a day without thinking about her. I want to smack myself in the face every time the thought of her enters my head because I just can't handle the stress anymore. What do I do? I haven't been talking to her, I have gotten with another girl since which did not make me feel any better, and I do my best to be distracted, but I just can't shake this off.
What do I do? Is this something I just have to sit through and wait till I get over it? Because I feel ridiculous, like I should have been over this a while ago, and yet I just can't seem to do it. | hung up on some girl that I went out with for not so long and need advice on how to get over it |
t3_47bfma | relationships | My [21M] new girlfriend [19F] rarely returns texts in a timely manner. Is it me or her? | I recently got into a relationship with someone who waits hours or days to reply to a text. Even if she starts it, and I reply quickly, she won't respond for quite a while. I haven't talked to her about this problem, because I don't know the simplest way to broach the subject. She seems so nice and smart in person; we really click. But when we're away, it's almost like she doesn't want anything to do with me.
Is this a common habit for young women? I would assume you'd want to be all over your partner in a new relationship, especially when YOU'RE the one who wanted to be GF and BF in the first place. That's right, she wanted to be officially a couple. Then it's like we're barely acquainted. We talked way more when we started texting, now it's nothing. I haven't heard from her in a few days now. I mean, everyone gets busy, but this is ridiculous.
I'd resort to calling her, but we both hate talking on the phone. I'd deal with it if it meant getting an immediate answer.
What should I do? I will talk about it next time I see her, but I want do it in the kindest and simplest way. | She doesn't text back for hours or days, but I know she likes me. What should I say to her? |
t3_23h45g | relationships | Me [25M] with my girlfriend [26F] of six months had an awkward conversation about our relationship and I've been feeling uneasy since. | So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now, and things were going really well. We hadn't fought, have been open and honest with each other, and enjoy being around each other. She is an excellent person; compassionate, caring, very funny, and beautiful. We said "I love you" a few months back, so it did move a little quick in comparison to some of my past relationships.
A few weeks ago, she had a conversation with me that she thought that I wasn't as into the relationship as she was. I assured her that I cared for her, it's just we express it in different ways. She expresses how she feels in actions, and I tend to use words. Despite assuring her that I do love her, that conversation stuck with me. When I went to visit my parent's home last weekend (which is about 6 hours away), I had a lot of time to think about where I really was in the relationship, and I realized that I may not as into it. What really stood out to me was the fact that I didn't think to hang out with her (she asked me) when I was driving home even though I had free time (we only see each other about 2-3 times per week).
Although this may not seem like a lot to some people, given the previous conversation, I thought on it. When I saw her, I told her what I was feeling (or rather not feeling). Needless to say, we had a long discussion about where we thought this relationship was going, and I was honest that I didn't know if I wanted it to become more serious. We didn't break up, but since then, seeing her has been awkward and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells. I also don't want her to be involved in a relationship that is one-sided. I want her to be extremely happy, but I don't know if I'm that person. I just don't really know how to proceed from here, and what to tell her about what I'm feeling. Sorry if this seems ridiculous and whiny, but I don't know what else to do. Thanks for any advice. | Girlfriend and I had an awkward conversation about her being more into the relationship than I am. I don't know how to proceed because I think it might be true. If it is, than she deserves better than what I am giving her. |
t3_18bvst | relationships | My first post ever. Here Goes. She said: "I'm not sure you'd want to be my friend if we weren't dating." That might be true, and IDK if that's a bad thing. | I've been on Reddit for a while, but this is my first post, so I'll try and do everything right.
Me 22 M, her 21 F (7.5 years). Not talking about if we broke up. But if we weren't dating, would she be a person I would still be friends with? The 'appropriate' answer is OF COURSE I would. But I'm not sure that's the truth, and I don't know if that's a bad thing. The kind of relationship I have with her is a different kind of relationship than any other relationship I have. But we ARE really good friends. We just decide to do things together & take interest in each other's lives and hobbies instead of already having identical interests. To clarify, I think some friends hang out simply BECAUSE they have similar interests and build a friendship on that. I think we build our interests around each other, instead of building our friends around our interests. What does Reddit think? | Is is necessarily a bad sign if your SO isn't someone you'd be friends with outside of a relationship? |
t3_2qbxkw | relationships | Does my [20/F] boyfriend [22/M] of a year overshare with his family? | I would just like to get some unbiased feedback on whether or not I'm overreacting to a situation with my boyfriend. We have been dating for about a year and a half. Because his family lives across the country, I don't know them well at all.
However, every time he communicates with them (especially with his mother), he feels compelled to discuss personal information about me-everything from my relationship with my father to why I get migraine headaches. Granted, I am close to my mom too and I understand wanting to know some things about the person your son/daughter is dating. However, I would never bring up highly private things (previous relationships, sex life, etc.) that aren't really any of my family's business.
It is almost as if they feel compelled to dispense free advice/pick apart everyone they know. His mother has even gone so far as to recommend literature I should read for various situations. I tend to be a fairly private person, but this seems rather presumptuous to me! I suppose they mean well, but it comes off as slighty interfering or gossipy to me.
So, any input would be welcome. I have tried nicely telling my boyfriend that I'd appreciate it if some things could stay just between he and I, but this didn't seem to change anything. Am I overreacting, or is it a bit odd that he shares so much? | My boyfriend shares a lot of personal information about me (past, personal relationships, health issues) with his family, whom I don't really know. I have asked him to be a bit more discreet, but to no avail. Does this seem like a problem or should I just let it go? |
t3_vyb26 | relationship_advice | [22/f] "dating" a [35/m]. Need your advice. | So I recently started "dating" (I put that in quotations because we haven't ever actually defined or discussed what this relationship could turn into) a 35-year-old.
We started talking online and found (before either of us knew the other's age) that we have a lot in common. We like the same sports teams, have the same hobbies, have similar outlooks on life, etc. He has been divorced for 4 years and has an 8-year-old daughter.
So we started talking more and more and eventually decided to meet up. We've hung out a few times and have slept together, but his life is so busy that it's hard to ever make set plans. He has his daughter almost all of the time. Recently I asked if he would ever let me meet her, and he said yes which I think is a step in the right direction.
What I need advice about is how realistic you think this relationship could be. I still have a couple semesters left at my University (which is ~4 hours away). I genuinely enjoy the time I spend with him and feel more comfortable with him than any guy I've know before. I've been trying really hard to be okay with his lack of free time, but lately it's been getting me down. I'm developing all these feelings and could actually see this turning into something really serious, but I'm not sure those feelings are reciprocated. How do I go about talking to him about this without coming off as clingy, which I genuinely am not. I've always been a very independent person and getting attached to people isn't something I usually do, so it's kind of unnerving. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | i'm dating a 35-year-old with a kid and don't know how realistic it actually is. |
t3_2psgh6 | tifu | TIFU by leaving my computer screen up while I went to the bathroom | So this literally just happened so sorry for being short.
I'm at work and I'm plugging along until the coffee starts to take effect and I get the urge to use the bathroom. Without thinking, I leave my laptop open (I really had to go) and go do my business. I work in sales and use my personal laptop for work so I have a folder of wallpapers I change periodically. I have my computer set to cycle through all the images in my wallpapers folder when it goes to sleep. So I finish in the bathroom after taking way too long due to playing on my phone on the toilet. I get back to my desk and see my boss standing right over my computer and says, "Uhhh, cstir15? "Everyday Weed?" I run over and I see [this picture] up on my computer. I just froze and started nervously laughing. I have a one on one meeting with her in about an hour and I am unreasonably nervous about it. I don't even smoke; I just think that picture and the source video are hilarious. | went to the bathroom and my boss saw my screen saver of [this picture] and I have to meet with her soon. |
t3_1kshdc | relationships | I [22M] just got off the phone with my SO [20F] of ~5 months, who I cannot bring myself to quit no matter how flagrantly she | The past couple weeks we've been "over" more times than I've kept track of. Every time is the same scene; she comes to me with a "confession" that she's cheated on me once again, and I initially vow to myself to walk away but end up telling her we can still make it work. She never asks me to forgive her, never gives any indication of caring one way or the other. Just fucks other guys basically whenever we're not together for the night. We'll spend a few days together and "work things out" only for her to be with somebody else within a few hours. Not a specific lover, but just about every guy she knows who will fuck her.
I have no idea what's wrong with me, (not even going to begin to get into comprehending what's gotten into her) letting her walk all over me like this, but I cannot physically seem to make the leap and rid myself of her.
This pathetic problem of mine has actually (sickeningly) gotten to the point where I just told her I still wanted to fix things over the phone as she was laying, post-fucking, with another guy in his bed. I'm sitting here shocked at myself for being such a lowlife and I really just need someone to tell me why I'm acting like this and how to get on with it. | I find myself stuck on a terrible human being, for seemingly no reason, and completely against my normal character/relationship experience. Whip me into shape. |
t3_3uqkbj | relationships | Guy [20] i have/had a thing with is randomly ignoring me [18 F] | Basically, i met this guy a little more than a month ago we hit it off really well and would hang out almost every other day. I already met his family and he met mine and the last time i saw him was after i slept over at his house. Its been a little more than a week since we've talked which is super weird and we didn't fight or anything and we both have (had?) feelings for eAchother.
I texted him on seperate days and he didn't answer me but he's been active on social media. I am so confused because i'm not sure what could have caused this, i was thinking of messaging him on snapchat so i know when he opens my message but im not sure what to do help! | guy i have a thing with randomly ignoring me for no reason |
t3_1tg7q6 | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend[19F] of 2.5 months is sending me mixed signals | Just some brief background, I have been going out with the most wonderful girl for the past 2-3 months in college. Right now it is winter break and we are unable to be together in person, so we will usually FaceTime or just text. I am really into this girl and falling hard for her and am pretty affectionate towards her.
Sometimes when we text I feel like it can be difficult speaking to her. If she is busy watching a movie or something, I will say something like, " I'll let you watch the movie, have fun!". A lot of times her response will be like, "noooo I want to talk with you but I think it's late and you should probably rest".
She does this a good number of times in different situations and I'm not sure if she's jus being nice and giving me freedom, or if she doesn't want to talk to me then, or if she does want to talk but not feel controlling.
It confuses me, and I honestly wish she was a little more controlling because this seems so passive to me.
What should I do in this situation, am I just thinking about it too much? Should I tell her I want to talk to her but not if she doesn't want to talk to me? Am I just too obsessed with her and smothering her? Help please! | Gf of 2 months is sending mixed signals through text. Not sure what she wants or if I'm smothering her with too much attention. |
t3_2f40ii | relationships | My [35/F] girlfriend's mom died of cancer today, and I [25/M] can't be there for her. | So my girlfriend's mom lost her year long battle with cancer today and she is heartbroken. I'm currently abroad until the end of this semester and will be back permanently at the end of it. I don't know how to be there for her during this hard time when I can't even hug her. I would do anything for this woman, but I can't fly back. It's impossible. How can I comfort her from so far away?
She is angry and hurt that I haven't been able to be there for her while her mom went through this, she knows it's not my fault she has told me that she's just mad at the situation, but since I am the situation a lot of her anger is directed towards me. I am trying to be as understanding as possible and supportive in any possible way. I love her dearly, but I am worried about the strain this will put on us, especially when she was hoping her mom would live to see us engaged (I planned on popping the question when I came back and she knows this), but sadly her mom couldn't hold on. So I am really lost and not sure what to do? Do I give her space do I call her and check up on her a lot? She has her family with her right now thankfully. I just have no idea what to do, I have never lost anyone and never had to help someone through this kind of grief. Any help would be appreciated | Girlfriend's mom died of cancer today, how can I be there for her when I am far away? |
t3_2h7b56 | relationships | Me [20/F] with my roommate [20/F] I have no idea how to help her. | I'm going to try to keep this short.
My roommate (we have lived together for two years now, met in college- been friends for 3), is 20 and she's a beautiful, intelligent, human being but she feels the need to be validated by a man. She has a boyfriend but she has recently been hanging out with guys that my other roommates have expressed interest in purely for the fact of being wanted. NONE of these guys make her happy or fulfill her in anyway. She puts these guys in front of us (her best friends) and we have no idea how to bring this up in a way that won't make her defensive. She has told us numerous times that she has no idea who she is-- and we believe she is trying to find herself in these guys. She has told us that in high school she wished she could have just slept through the entire thing. She always wanted to sleep. We have no idea how to ask her what happened in high school that made her so depressed. She is not at all the type of person to share her feelings openly.
We know that she suffers from severe depression and self image issues. We have NO idea how to bring this up to her in a way that makes her realize that we care about her and want the best for her. My roommates and I have discussed recommending a professional to her but obviously that is an issue that will either go one way or another. We just want to help her before it gets worse. | my roommate tries to validate herself with men and we have no idea how to help her. |
t3_2web6z | relationship_advice | [22m] Occasionally worried about effects of long distance w/ [22f] | So for a brief intro, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around 4 years, all while we have both been in college. We started dating in high school, and I'll soon be graduating (she has another year, but we live close).
Anyway, my worries seem to stem from a lack of feelings about the relationship sometimes. I usually chalk this up to be because of the distance, especially because I am happy with her, but at times it just doesn't feel like I have feelings at all about it. We get along quite well when we see each other, and are very much sexually attracted. There are some silences in person, but we can talk for hours on the phone and in text when we are away. The reason I think it's a problem is because these feelings, or lack thereof, sometimes cause me to search for problems in the relationship that might not exist.
Does anyone have any advice for this? Anyone had similar feelings before? | Happy long distance relationship sometimes leaves me without feelings, causes me to search for problems in relationship. |
t3_211bkg | relationships | I [22/f] want to end things with my SO [24/m] of 1.5 years. | I have been back and forth on whether I want to be in this relationship or not and think that it is time to end things. I have been unfaithful in the past because I was just unhappy and looking for a way out and stuck around because of fear that no one would ever love me again. I know, I should have ended it then but when he didn't want to end it and gave me a second chance I thought that maybe I should stay as well. I love him but it isn't the gut wrenching to the point where I could not see myself without him. I know he cares for me a lot more and it would hurt me more to break up with him because I don't want to hurt him. I am very unhappy in the relationship and I know that I am not being fair to him by sticking around. How do I break up with him? I have been avoiding him for a few days but I cannot avoid him forever. | I have messed up my relationship in the past and stuck around because I was given a second chance. I am still unhappy and want out but unsure of how to break up with him. Sticking around because I don't want to hurt him and make him feel like an idiot for giving me a second chance. How do I break up with him with the least amount of hurt? |
t3_1j5k1e | relationships | I [18M] feel uncomfortable when cuddling with my partner [16F] of about half a year | I have been together with my girlfriend for about seven months. I like cuddling and I do find her lovely and attractive, so it's not issue like that. Instead, she's smaller than me (shorter and also almost underweight) which makes cuddling, especially spooning, feel uncomfortable for me.
I have to spend a lot of time to find a position which doesn't start to feel unbearable in five seconds. My back always starts to hurt and if I grab her with both arms my other arm goes numb (because of our height difference my arm goes somewhere under her ribs while spooning). Also, I can feel her bones (too) clearly and it's disturbing. I'm almost afraid of breaking some bones while I hug her. I really would like to feel soft hugs, not just bones.
I've tried to talk about that (yes, I'm a monster) with her, although it always goes the same way of "you don't like me" or "you want me to get fat this is just the same as you would ask fat person to slim down" (although I haven't suggested her to gain weight at all). We have also tried to switch sides while spooning, although it's clearly obvious shorter person can't be the big spoon.
I think she's otherwise perfect and I do find her attractive. Still, the issue of non-soft cuddling just kills it for me. | I love to cuddle with my girlfriend, but I find it uncomfortable since I can feel her bones too clearly, it's hard to get a good position and I'm almost afraid of breaking bones while I hug her. |
t3_15x05w | jobs | What are some REAL questions that you would ask an interviewer, if you had the opportunity? | This topic has been beaten to death here, with an overwhelming response of "Just do it, just because it shows you're interested". But ultimately, applicants have to play along because it means (probably) getting the job.
But what if you weren't threatened with a promise of a steady paycheck and valuable contribution to your field? What if you had the chance to have a real heart-to-heart with the interviewer, like so many of them claim an interview supposedly is?
For example, I would ask:
* Why did YOU ask the strength/weakness question? I know why it's a common interview strategy, but I'm interested to see why YOU decided to use it.
* What is your credential? (I personally know/can tell for the most part because of my field.) Did you design this hiring system? If not, who did? What are THEIR credentials? (Call it due diligence - we as for this from every other professionals out there.)
* (If they use a structured interview/personality assessments.) May I have the literature that support these tools? I don't want the responses, but the theoretical origin of these methods. (Red flag if they can't, btw.)
* Is hiring a part of your job function? If (when) not, what do you primary do here? How did you get to be in that seat today? | I would ask the type of questions that I would usually direct at people whom I would establish any other professional relationship with. |
t3_2bzzbv | relationships | Apparently I [28M] suck at communicating, particularly listening/soliciting information that my partner cares most about... How do I fix this? | I used to think I was very empathetic and a great listener, but in the past 6 months a few massive failures have really made me realize that I just don't listen apparently. I'm great at opening myself up, but terrible at listening. Apparently when I am good at listening, it ends up being too one way and not much of a back and forth... More like I'm being talked "at" and not "with." I guess I don't ask the right questions, or pick up on hints, or I'm not just easy to talk to, or I too often reply to things with my own personal anecdotes which is how I best relate, but that comes across as turning things around onto myself instead of the other person and what they care about. | How can I get better? How can I not only be a better listener, but better at identifying when someone is saying something that begs for a question to get them to open up about it? |
t3_2ixcq6 | relationships | Unsure whether or not me [21 M] and my partner [21 F] should break up | My partner and I have been together for three years, but I'm feeling at the moment like we are drifting apart. She's studying and I'm working, so we are in very different circles. We don't argue or fight much, and do get along well - the relationship just feels stale. We've been on holidays recently but that hasn't done much to give it more excitement. Our bedroom isn't totally dead, but is definitely less active than a year ago. I do have strong feelings for my partner, and was thinking that we'd eventually get married, but I don't want to feel like I'm just 'settling' because that's the easiest solution.
I could definitely see myself being with other people, and trying to get by in the whole dating scene for a bit of fun, but I'd also hate to feel like I've made a huge mistake if things didn't work out.
So to summarise, there's nothing wrong with the relationship - it's just boring. No infidelity on my side, nor on my partners' that I'm aware of.
Not sure what else to say, but please ask questions and I'll answer them as thoroughly as I can. Would appreciate anyones input on this! | Stale relationship, should it end? |
t3_3obfio | relationships | Me 21[M] cheating on my girlfriend [27F] while we were doing long distance - feel absolutely awful | Hi there,
Basically, I messed up.
My girlfriend is currently living in Japan and I'm living in London. We've been doing long distance for about 2 months (dating for about 5 months all together) and we agreed on this beforehand.
I told her that I would be uncomfortable with her seeing anyone in this period and she said something along the lines of if I do see anyone, just don't tell her about it (I thought it was quite weird for her to say that).
Anyway, yesterday, two months into doing long distance I ended up getting really drunk and having a one night stand with a friend of a friend. I feel really awful about this, I talked to my girlfriend as normal today and it made me feel even worse. I really like my girlfriend, and I feel like such an idiot for doing what I did and its been really troubling my mind ever since...
We have tickets booked together to go to Barcelona and Paris this month (in about 2 weeks) and I feel like by doing this I really fucked up.
I want to tell her and try and clear things up (generally we've been very honest to each other) but I don't want to hurt her and she did say she doesn't want to know. But still, I feel like I can't live with something like this on my conscience especially when I like this girl as much as I do....
What do I do reddit? | got drunk and had a one night stand while doing long distance - feel awful. |
t3_2smyog | personalfinance | Just applied for a Secured Citi MasterCard... nervous about approval, and questions about old debt | I just applied for a Secured Citi MasterCard. My credit score according to Mint is 571 from Equifax and 546 from Experian. The reason its so low is because of debt that I didn't believe I owed so I never paid. Stupid, I know, but even so I couldn't afford to pay it back at the time even if I wanted to.
The debt was 2 years of Social Security backpay ($5668) because they didn't believe me when I told them I didn't know about bonds that my family took out for me when I was born.
I just got a job in September. I've been paying $200/mo since then.
But if you look on my credit history, you'll see nothing but really good things, except for 2 years worth of "late" payments from the Social Security.
The thing is, you can still get denied for Secured Citi Cards, and I don't want to be because then I'll be fucked. I gave them a $300 deposit. I have had consistent income every two weeks since I've gotten the job. I don't have my Savings or Brokerage accounts in Citi, but hopefully they'll see I'm not a stupid kid anymore like I was when I got the debt in the first place.
**My question about debt is: On my credit report, it's still marked as "late" for the months that I have paid. So I have to assume that will stop when I pay it off in full. BUT, I have enough in Savings to pay it off in full now. It won't leave me with too much but should I pay it off in one lump sum or should I keep paying it monthly? | Bad credit due to old debt that I can't do anything about now, nervous about denial from Secured Citi Card, what do? |
t3_3b8nmu | relationships | My [18F] Boyfriend's [15M] Sister [21F] Trying to Ruin Our Relationship | My boyfriend & I have been together for seven months, we've never had any issues with fighting or anything between us. The only issues we've had have been relating to his older sister, she doesn't like me, and she's quite open about it. She's made negative comments about me to his parents, she talks to him about me and always asks him about how I treat him, if he's having any problems with me, and stuff like that. She tries to get her nose into our relationship and I feel like she's influencing him to want to break up with me or something. She tries telling him that he shouldn't let a girlfriend tell him who he's allowed to hang out with, and how that I'm controlling and stuff. When all I said was that I wanted to meet this girl that he's friends with before I let them hang out alone. He's 16 and she's 21 so since he's her baby brother or whatever I understand she might feel that she's just looking out for him but I don't think she has the right to try to wedge herself in between us and constantly ask him about how I'm treating him, it makes me feel like she's forcing him to find flaws in me. What should I do? What do you think of this situation? | My boyfriend's older sister is really controlling of him and I feel as if she's persuading him to leave me, she speaks negatively about me and always asks him questions. |
t3_4bpr5z | relationships | I [22M] accused one of my best friends [22F] who was very important to me of not wanting to be friends anymore. She says she does, but I think she's lying. Not sure how to proceed. | I know the title sounds really high school, and it probably is, so.. sorry. I'm coming here since all my friends do nothing but accuse me of having romantic feelings for her. I don't.
I used to be what I thought was best friends with this girl, we talked morning to night, would hang out every day, and made plans for ways to stay in touch after college. Six months ago she stopped wanting to hang out, claiming she's too busy. After trying for a month or so I gave up and told her to tell me when she had time. Six months later I haven't seen her. This led me to believe she didn't want to be friends anymore.
She texts me once every couple months, and today was one of those days, so I asked her what was up, and made the mistake of accusing her of not wanting to be friends. She denied, repeating the claim that she's too busy. She's really important to me, and was a big part of my life, but I can't bring myself to believe her. I'm not on Facebook, but through mutual friends who are, I've found out (to my dismay, opening old wounds) that she'd had some pretty big life changes she hasn't told me about. Breaking up with her boyfriend, getting a new one, moving to a new place, etc.
So right now I'm looking at an hour old text saying that says she still wants to be friends, and because of the sudden change from every day to never all I can think to reply is that I don't believe her. How should I proceed? Is it even worth it? To add on to all of this, in a few months we'll be graduating, and living about 350 miles away from each other. I feel like starting up the friendship again might be a waste. | Haven't seen friend I used to see every day in six months. I accused her of not wanting to be friends, she said she still does. I can't think of anything to respond with other than I don't believe her. How should I proceed? If I even should. |
t3_y0feu | relationships | How do I [23F] break up with my long term boyfriend [22M]? | We've been together 2 years, and he's a wonderful guy. He's totally in love with me, wants to have a future together, and is just all around an awesome boyfriend. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I'm just not into it anymore, emotionally and sexually. I have a hard time getting aroused with him (he's noticed, and I usually make up an excuse) but thats not for lack of wanting to have sex.
We've been dancing around the idea of taking a break for a while, but I think both of us are afraid to pull the trigger. I'm going into my last year in college, and he lives about 3 hours away. Last year, the distance was hard on us, but we made it work. This year, I just kind of want to do my own thing. I really just kind of miss being single, and I'm craving some independence. Last time I tried to break up with him, I sort of got talked into staying because I was too weak to stand my ground. He pulls the whole "I see a future together, I've never loved anyone like you" and just the general sweet things that make me feel warm and fuzzy and forget why I was trying to break up with him. Then I hang up the phone or leave and think "Wait, how did he do that?"
In the past I've always been the one to get dumped, not the one doing the dumping. I don't want him to drive up here 3 hours only to have me dump him and then have to drive back, so I was going to call him. Is that okay? How do I do this? | My boyfriend is awesome, but I want to be single. How do I break up with him without being a soul-crushing bitch? |
t3_25sc6i | relationship_advice | How do I [22/m] deal with a girl (22/f) going through a family death. What do I say or do so I don't loose her? | So I've been seeing this girl for 3 weeks now texting previously for another 4 weeks. Everything has been going so well. Texting 30-40 times a day back and forth on top of seeing eachother 2-3 times a week. I've stayed over in her house twice, had sex and fooled around alot.
Everything has been going well, she told me how much she likes me and wants to be my girlfriend down the road and I've told her the same.
This was up until a week ago when her Uncle died.
I met up with her and she told me about her Uncle. She didnt seem that upset at the time, even saying she wasn't that close with him. We even met a day later (Sunday) to hangout and she was still her normal happy self.
However, ever since the funeral on Tuesday she has been very distant and hasn't texted or talked to me in 3 days. I've texted her that I'm "thinking of her", "im sorry for her loss" and Ive gotten one work replies back.
I even texted her last night and asked her "how are you doing?" and just got an "Ok" reply back. Her texts have been very distant like she's uninterested in talking to me.
I just dont know how to act or what to do in this situation. This is the longest we've gone without communication since I've met her. I also don't want to text her too much and come across needy and clingy yet on the other hand I don't want to loose her. | Been seeing this girl for 3 weeks we've talked about our future, being Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Now her uncle has died and the relationshiop has come to a halt. Barely any communication or texts from her (the texts I do recieve seem distant and uninterested in me) and I dont know how to act or what to do. |
t3_2yedpk | dating_advice | Date advice for a 26 yo gay male first time date ? | Hey guys, I have a date in a few days with a guy I met on an online dating service. I'm 26 and have never been on a date with a guy. I am really excited, but at the same time, my level of nervousness probably rates somewhere between pure terror and dying. This is exacerbated by the fact that I'm pretty sure this guy is waaaay out of my league. Insanely good looking, very well educated, blah blah. I'm... not, haha. I guess what I'm really wanting is tips on how not to screw this up? Has anyone gone on a date with someone they never thought they had a chance with and had it end well? If so, please give me some advice! A little advice towards dates in general would be great as well, as I've never been on one.
We'll be having wine at a local, relaxed bar, if that is useful information. | 5 needs advice for going on a date with a 10. |
t3_15rq9q | relationships | I [F17] have no idea how to renew my friendship with my ex [M17] who is also friends with my best friend [F18]. | My best friend [F18] and I [F17] have been friends for two years now and we have had some bumps in the road, but we've always resolved them and we're very close. Last year I dated my ex [M17] for three months, who had been my friend long before I even met my best friend. We had a very messy break up which was never fully resolved. He broke up with me for reasons I still do not know and I was very hurt and said some really mean things that I completely regret. I apologized to him back in July, but he never responded and we have not spoken since.
During our relationship (me and my ex's), my best friend and him became good friends because neither have a lot of friends and they live in the same town (I live about an hour away). This caused a rift in my friendship with her because I was hurt and she was insensitive about the whole situation, she still hung out with him even though I wasn't over it (we stopped speaking for 2 months because of it, but we reconciled and are now close again). I have been completely over my ex for awhile now and the situation is very awkward. He is good friends with her, and I am good friends with her, but we ignore each other's existence.
It's been over 6 months since the whole situation and a year since we dated. I don't know how to fix it? And should I? I feel like I gave him the opportunity to fix things with me and he chose not to, but that was months ago and we're both different people now. I just think it's ridiculous that we ignore each other when all three of us (me, my best friend, and my ex) could be friends. I'm not saying I have to be best friends with my ex or anything like that, but I'd like to be on speaking terms without it being awkward. What should I do? | Previously friends with ex, started dating ex, best friend and ex became friends during relationship, had messy break up with ex, said mean things to ex, apologized to ex months ago, ex did not respond, ex and best friend still friends, it has been a year. I am completely over ex, how I do make things better between the three of us? |
t3_1ow1x9 | relationships | Advice needed on a break up because of depression | I F(23) have just broken up with my boyfriend M(26) of three years
He is suffering from depression and doesn't really know how to handle it. He broke up with me to work out how he felt for me and to ultimately give himself time to figure things out.
I totally respect that he needs time and space. He knows I am here for him. I just want him to be happy no matter what whether that means he ends up being with me or not.
After breaking up with me he has been really out of character. He is the most respectful guy I know but he told me he was going to sleep with someone else to try and figure things out but didn't give a fuck if it was going to hurt this other girl and didn't give a fuck what happened to her or what she thought.
Obviously this hurt me a lot but I tried to stay strong and talk to him with a level head as I know this is totally out of character.
He is going to start counselling. He is just having a hard time accepting everything understandably and is shying away from it more than anything. Although hopefully he will go ahead with counselling.
Really what I need advice on is how to get my head around this? How to understand how he feels, how scared he must be about everything, and how to know when to back off?
All communication is in his hands at the moment.
But this is also screwing me up pretty badly. I have lost a lot of weight over a short period . I struggling to think about anything else other than how he is. I can't sleep for constantly thinking. My brain just will not shut off. I don't know how to be there for him but not get hurt in the mean time.
I don't like to think of myself but I know I need to put myself first at the moment just as he needs to with himself.
My head is really everywhere and just need some advice. I know the above is very jumbled and I apologise I just started typing and let it roll. If you have any questions please ask me as long as you think they are relevant. | Like I said I just want him to be happy but I also need to try and think of myself in this too which I don't really know how to. |
t3_32u97d | relationships | My [18 F] girlfriend might be pregnant and I'm [17 M] not sure how I feel about an abortion. | To preface, I am 17, she is 18. We had sex about a week or so ago on her period and the condom broke. We didn't worry too much about it because we know she ovulates in the middle of her cycle. Yes we know sperm can live for up to 7 days, but her ovulation is consistent. We also had sex last night without a condom because we are both horny idiots. That wasn't the first time we had sex that night, although I did not ejaculate inside her without the condom. I am quite aware that due to both of these things there is a possibility of getting pregnant, and I can't help being worried about what happens if she is.
Each time we have discussed what's going to happen if she does end up getting pregnant, the final decision is that she is getting an abortion, and she is very stern about that. I'm scared to tell her that I may not feel 100% with her getting an abortion because she feels so sternly about it. In terms of politics, I sit on the fence with abortions and I'm not sure where I stand. But now with the very real possibility of her being pregnant, I need some advice...
She wants to travel and do all sorts of interesting things with her life, and she thinks that a child would get in the way of those things, which is fair enough. I would probably be more inclined with keeping the child, and honestly would be looking forward to fatherhood, despite being at a young age, I know I'd be able to handle it better than most my age as I have financial means of supporting a baby and have a supportive family.
What should I do? Should I say nothing about me not wanting an abortion? What do I say if she is pregnant? What do I do if she still goes through with an abortion despite me not really being okay with it? I'm confused guys, would really appreciate some advice.. | GF might be pregnant, we have differing opinions on abortion and what will happen if she gets pregnant. Not sure what to say to her if she is pregnant. |
t3_1z0qb3 | jobs | Manual laborer looking to switch careers, no idea where to start | Hello reddit, hope is everyone is a-ok today.
So here's my story:
Dropped out of high school when I was 17, got a g.e.d,tried going to community college and work a full time manual labor job but that kind of blew up by my 2nd semester. I'm now 24, I've been working on a shipyard as a painter working 50+ hours a week and being absolutely miserable. 8 months ago I had my first kid, and I want to find a job that will let me work more normal hours so I can be, you know, around more, or at least not so exhausted I don't want to do anything when I get home. So I've always been very good with computers as I've been on them since I was very young. I'm the guy my entire family comes to with PC issues, and I truly enjoy working with computers. That said, I'm awful at math and never even passed a high school math class. I've been looking at jobs as a web developer( I literally made websites when I was 12,13,14 years old but it's a different field today) or in I.T but I have no idea where to start. Google is yielding mostly information from 2007-2011 and I feel a lot of it might be outdated. Looking for genuine advice on how to get out of this manual labor rut I'm in but I have no clue where to start. I am willing to take classes but I'd like to avoid any 4 year programs. it seems I could just study books and take certification tests for certain things but, I literally have no idea. I know I'm not good at explaining things so please ask me to clarify something if this doesn't make sense. Also not sure if this is the right subreddit. | good at computers, bad at math, hate working labor jobs looking to break into something with computers but no clue where to start |
t3_3cqwki | tifu | TIFU by Buying Peaches | Happened an hour ago. Went to Publix to buy some chicken tenders for dinner. The deli section is right next to the produce, so I figured I'd buy some fruit to snack on for the next few days. Settled on some peaches.
I finally find a good peach, nice and firm, no bruises. I get one of the plastic produce bags, the really skinny ones that you have to tear off the roll. They're really annoying to open, so I try to force the peach into it to get a hole big enough to put more peaches in. I completely miss, and drop the peach on the floor.
Now I have a dilemma. I don't want to buy this peach, since it's going to be pretty badly bruised, but it'd be rude to put it back. I look around, don't see anyone, and put it back. Dodged a bullet there. I get four or five peaches, and turn around to leave. As I do, an old man with a veterans hat in a motorized shopping cart rolls up to me. I smile at him, and he says "They have peaches in packages back where I was." I muttered, "Thank you, but I already have the peaches I need."
"The packages have handles, so they're easier to carry." | Dropped a peach, put it back, thought nobody saw, the military sees all. |
t3_10ev9t | tifu | TIFU by accidentally bleaching my pubes | Recently moved to Europe from the US. I hate shaving my downstairs as much as the next lady, so I went to the store to buy some hair removal cream. I was looking at all of the boxes and picked one with a brand name I recognized- Veet- but didn't really look at the packaging. I though, hey, Veet is the same everywhere, right? So I'm in the bathroom, a little confused as to why there are two things I have to mix together instead of just one tube, but I'm going with it. It's another country, why not? So I apply it to my business and set a timer. As I'm sitting there, I realize it smells sort of familiar, but not like any hair removal cream I've used. It smells like peroxide. So I look at the box again. It says "Crème décolorante" which, OF COURSE, means "Cream decolorant." Then I remember that it's like a european thing to bleach your body hair instead of shaving or waxing. So I wait it out, thinking it couldn't be too bad, until I rinsed it off- it didn't bleach them fully, it just turned them like a weird gingery color. | carpet don't match the drapes no more |
t3_2iik9b | relationships | Me [21 M] with fun [22 F] have been dating for 2 weeks, no response since last date | I am very new to relationships, having never really dated anyone before. I had found /r/seduction to improve my image, and have tried to find someone of my liking since. I met a really cute girl with similar interests and asked for her number, and then texted her asking her out. We have gone on three dates since, and the first two went without a hitch and we kept planning the next time we'd go out, as we had great conversation and both left happy. We texted each other every day, but I as usually the one initiating the back and forth.
I thought the third date went pretty well, but I feel I might have appeared creepy as I tried following /r/seduction advice trying to initiate contact often. She never seemed to have problems with it, but I feel like I could have been overbearing/creepy as I have never really done this before and was just going off what I had read online.
Midterms are coming up, so I knew she wouldn't be available much this week, so I proposed seeing each other next weekend, and she said she wouldn't know if she could. I texted her after the date and once more today, both with no answer.
I don't want to come out as creepy, so I feel like if she doesn't respond I should just stop texting her, or maybe once more and ask if she wants to do anything after midterm period. However I really like her and would like to see if we could get a relationship, but I don't want to push too hard. If possible, it would be nice to know if I did anything to push her away. Should I text her, call her, or just understand that I need to move on? Am I expecting a response too fast?
Thanks for any help! | Sent two texts with no answer, looking for how to respond. |
t3_18kmdo | relationships | I [18F] was hanging out with a male friend [19M]. I denied it, but should I tell my boyfriend [20M]? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and three-ish months.
Recently I became friends with a guy in my major, which isn't unusual because I'm a very "guys gal" and most of my friends are guys. I really don't hang out with guys without my boyfriend but I asked him if he would be okay with me chilling with this new guy (in a group) and he said it was fine.
The new guy and I had hung out a few times in the last week and texted on and off. Nothing flirty because I love my boyfriend so much and I don't want to risk our relationship. I felt myself developing a small crush on the new boy but I would never pursue it.
Today, new boy and I were watching Top Gear with his roommate. His roommate got up to take a shower and he immediately scooches closer to me and rests his head on my shoulder. He asked if I would cuddle with him "just as friends", but then he went on to say I was "amazing", "perfect", and that "he couldn't help himself".
I immediately told him no, stood up, and explained to him that I would not be able to spend time with him anymore if he tried more shit like this. It hurt telling him that because I feel myself growing feelings for him, but I know they are fleeting and that my boyfriend is the right person for me to be with right now.
My question is, should I tell my boyfriend this occurred? | My new guy friend made a move when we were alone for a few minutes. Do I tell my boyfriend? |
t3_14oee8 | relationship_advice | New boyfriend is taking me with him on 5 day trip, but I am broke | 20f,20m
I recently starting going out with a guy I've been dating for a month and been talking too for a couple months.
He is going to a wedding, and wants me to go with him. I want to too however I am in a bit of a predicament. I live off of the extra scholarship from going to university, and after rent and cable I have 100 for the rest of this month. I have some frozen chicken breasts, fish , and taken that I could normally just eat for the month and be fine with the 100.
However on this trip I'm assuming we will eat out a decent amount. I'm accustomed to eating once a day but I feel like he won't be the same.
Also compounding the issue is that I am driving to see an old friend I haven't seen in two years for a couple days before the fl trip, and the gas will cost me eighty. However I am taking a bunch of clothes to sell at a consignment shop so I should be back near the original hundred.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if it is acceptable to tell him I don't have much money so I will be eating very little and ask if we could stick to places that don't cost much. I really really don't want him to pay for me to do stuff there also, that would make me feel horrible. | new boyfriend wants me to go on five day trip for wedding with him , I have very little money and want to ask him to avoid going expensive places / allow me to not eat much but don't know if I should. Don't want him to pay for me. |
t3_42944z | relationships | Seeing my (29f) ex (30m) daily at gym class. Should I change my routine to avoid this even though I'd rather not have to? | Hey reddit, hoping you guys can help me with a decision and some perspective...
brief backstory: my ex and I split about 7 weeks ago, it's been a drawn out split that's included sleeping together once, calling, texting, fighting, me trying to get back together and the nice convos have included us saying we loved each other a few times. We won't be getting back together but he wants to do the friend thing and I've realised I can't.
I've deleted him from social media as of last week but the thing is, we joined a gym together a while ago. I love it and so does he. Neither of us will be leaving it. There isn't any one like it close by so changing gyms an option either.
The thing is that we currently do the same morning class, the time really suits me and I find I'm more likely to go if I do the AM one. We say hi and that's as far as the convo goes as I try to actively stop it at that. My other option is an after work class which he won't be at but work meetings etc sometimes mean I can't make it plus I'm buggered after work and less motivated.
I really don't want to change my times but I do wonder if seeing him is really wrecking my progress to get over us. I have been hell bent on not changing my routine cos of him but maybe it's making the pain linger, I don't know what the smart move is. | Should I just change my routine just to avoid my ex? |
t3_35e86l | relationships | I [23F] accidentally found something on my SOs [27M] computer. | My bf and I have been together for almost 7 months. We are at the point in our lives where we are getting ready to settle down and I really feel this is it for me.
Two months in to our relationship I moved a few hours away but he said that didn't matter, he wanted to make it work. So every other weekend we alternate on visiting each other.
This morning I had to borrow his computer for work and as I went to Gmail it naturally opened up his account. Problem was, it was a side account he uses for porn websites. At first I didn't think much of it but then I noticed the emails were from very recently and included messages sent from people online. And against my better judgement I clicked on an email that had already been opened so I could go to the website.
I couldn't figure out how the messaging system on the site worked so I couldn't tell if he was messaging with anybody. So then I did something I told myself I never would. I checked his internet history. And found a lot of porn. A lot. Most of me doesn't care about that because we are in a LDR and sex is obviously not happening that often. What worried me in the history was I saw Craigslist posts for hookups. From last month.
I know looking through his history was wrong. But I've never had a reason to suspect anything until now. I've seen a messaging service pop up on his phone one morning and someone had sent him a half naked picture. But I've no way of knowing if it was a bot or anything because I didn't recognize the system. We see each other every weekend and during the week we snapchat a lot during the evening and night and he is always home...but I feel very upset he was looking at these things.
I suppose my question is: do I confront him and tell him what I found or let it go? I feel very lost right now and could really use some advice. | I found Craigslist posts for hookups in my LDR boyfriend's internet history. And a fuck ton of porn. |
t3_15oapz | relationships | My mom is appalled at my boyfriend's [21] nonchalance about me [21] not attending NYE... is she just old school, or is it actually something to be bothered by? | So my boyfriend and I have been planning with one of his female friends to go out for NYE for a few weeks. We were going to go to one of the bars near his house, originally. However, between a few bills and last-minute Christmas gifts, I really can't justify spending the money to go out NYE, and told my BF as such. I expected him to be a bit bummed, but he didn't express any unhappiness at all. I also sort of expected him to offer to pay my way (which I would have refused anyway) because the last time we went out with aforementioned female friend, she was broke and he offered to pay her way, which she accepted. So I was a little peeved on both accounts, but I let it go and made plans to go over a buddy of mine's house to play video games that night.
Now when I mentioned to my mom that I wasn't going out NYE because I couldn't afford it, she was aghast that my BF hadn't offered to pay my way. She said any normal Friday night it would be fine, but NYE is special, and the fact that he is so nonchalant about it really pissed her off. Is she right that it's disrespectful and uncaring of him? Or is she just not hip with the times? | My boyfriend doesn't care that I can't afford to go out for NYE, and my mom now hates him for it. |
t3_140s1e | relationship_advice | So I like this girl at work | ...And she's a lot like me. She would be the first girl I'd seriously considered asking out. And I am ridiculously derp around her.
So I'm 20/f and have had a couple boyfriends. But I don't know how dating works really. And I'd feel kind of silly. She's around 25 (I think) and we get along pretty well and I do my best to hit on her as much as possible. Also I'm not sure if she likes me back. In the same way I like her.
Sooooo...questions.
Is there a definitive way I can discern if she likes me and would not laugh at me if I asked her out?
If I do ask her out and she says yes, what do I do then?
When is the appropriate time to "make a move"?
When, if applicable, is the appropriate time to want/ask for exclusivity? As in if I want to be her girlfriend or something?
In the past, my romantic encounters and partners have really been kind of isolated events and devoid of "dating." I feel like I have to be a lame adult now and do things the traditional way. Especially because she's older than me, and seems to be kind of more of a grownup than I feel I am. | How do you date and shit. |
t3_27dno5 | relationships | My [28/F] boyfriend [28/M] is a push over, how do I help him? | Basically I want my boyfriend to stand up for himself and what he wants. He's a great guy but he really is a pushover when it comes to his friends, his parents, and even myself. Sometimes it's little things, like we ALWAYS eat whatever I want, or watch whatever I want, even when I'm like... "No really, you pick!" Sometimes it's bigger things like his business partner/friend will not show up anytime he wants because he knows my boyfriend will pick up his slack and not even be mad about it.
He also avoids confrontation like is the plague. Even things he think will be confrontational, he'll avoid. For example, he runs a small business and that means every now and then he'll have to skip pay or lend his business his own money, we'll one time I volunteered to help out with the expectation of getting paid back within a week or so. He doesn't handle the finances, so I'd ask him if his partner was able to get me back yet... he'd keep saying I don't think so, etc... A few months later I got a little fed up and emailed his partner about it and be says "Yeah! We've had it, I just forgot! Wish (your boyfriend) would've just said something!"
It can cause problems too. Like if his parents tell him he should do something one way and unbeknownst to me I say we should do something another way... he'll end up either just not doing whatever it is either way or he'll actually lie to either me or his parents saying he did it the way whichever of us suggested.
Because of this it's really hard to confront him because he'll just say "I know." Or "Yeah, I should've done that.." or "yeah that's what I'll do..." just immediately admitting fault and saying he'll change whatever it is. | I want to help my boyfriend take up for himself but don't want to hurt his feelings with my criticism. :/ |
t3_4l3vg6 | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19M] of 2 years, I love him but I feel like I'm too stupid for him. | My boyfriend 'Ted' and I have been together for 2 years. When we started going out, we had been good friends for about a year and a half. I love Ted, he's always there for me and I tell him anything and everything without feeling judged. I honestly can't imagine my life without Ted because he's my best friend. I still get butterflies whenever I see him, I'd rather spend my time sitting with him quietly while reading books than going out to party with a bunch of people. I'm comfortable around him and he's always kind to me.
He's smart, kind, funny. I'm kind and funny too, but he's way way smarter than me. He's in a great university in a killer course with a great gpa. He's athletic and really handsome (even if he doesn't believe it), cooks really well, and is one of the smartest guys I know. I on the other hand, am at a 'meh' university because I'm not that book smart. I'm good with people, I'm quite funny, I'm street smart but I'm really not that book smart. I have a lot of smart friends for some reason, but Ted is probably the smartest.
I know that if we broke up, he'd get a smart girl from his own university anytime. He's even going for his sumemr exchange soon, and I'm really happy for him but I feel like I'll jsut be holding him down. I've talked to him before asking if him he wanted a break when he went for his summer exchange, but he was hurt I even thought of going on a break.
During our first year together I had told him he could find someone much better than me, but he seems to think the same of me (he thinks that I can get much better than him). I love him, I really do, but I feel like I'm holding him down. What can I do? I'm starting to feel like maybe the real problem here is my self-esteem. I can't go into too many details, but therapy for me right now is pretty much impossible (maybe after about 6 months I can try out therapy). | Boyfriend is way smarter than me, and I'm feeling bad because he could have so much better than me if he wanted to. He's told me he loves me for me, but I feel like I'm holding him down. |
t3_2rbhes | relationship_advice | How do I [15/m] give a good first (well more like second) impression to girls? | I've never had a proper girlfriend before but every time I meet a girl who I like I just don't know what to say how to act. Normally what happens is they either think I'm gay or I get friendzoned. Tomorrow I'm seeing someone alone who I've only met in real life once before but we've talked on Facebook quite a lot. We're going for lunch and ice skating but I don't know how to subtly show her that I can be more than a friend. Should I be flirty (which I cannot do) or "just be myself" (which has never really worked)? Another possible cause is that if I like someone I leave it too long to say it and when I do I just end up being nerdy and awkward. | I don't know what to do/say when I'm around a girl I like and always get friendzoned. |
t3_1za3sh | relationships | Me [25 M] with girl [22 F] of 2 months, found out she has a fuck buddy. How should I go about it? | I have been dating a girl for about 2.5 months now and I have been pursuing her with full intention of dating her long term. I have been doing nice things for her, like sending her a dozen red roses on Valentines day, taking her to out to events in the city etc. And she seems to be appreciative of everything I do for her.
Things had been going great till last week(or I thought so) when I happened to see her texts messages from a fuck buddy. It was clear from the texts that they had been "hanging out" as recently as the night before I saw those texts. She was sleeping when I saw those texts and I was instantly overcome with emotions. I was not expecting something like this and could not fall asleep rest of the night. I left for work early that morning while she was still sleeping.
Next day she texted me why I left so early and if we were still hanging out later that day. I made an excuse about something coming up and not being able to hangout with her that night.
She expressed some concern if everything was okay between us. I told her yes. I did not contact her for next few days as I was still trying to decide how to react. She continued to send me some pics of what she was doing, which further infuriated me and I ended up deleting her on facebook and other social media.
It's been 10 days since I last communicated with her. And she has made no attempt to call or text to see what's going on. I wanted to see how other redditors would handle this situation. Would you confront her, talk to her, or just leave her keep hanging why I disappeared from her life. | dating a girl for 2 months, found out she has a fuck buddy. Should I confront her about it, talk to her about it or just forget her and move on? |
t3_xnpjq | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever had someone who meant the world to you treat your relationship like it meant nothing? | I have a friend I've known a couple years now, and she's been by my side the whole way. I've hit some pretty serious lows, and she's always been there for me. Everything from talking me out of a depression to going to prom with me to just being there to talk to. But for some reason she acts like that means nothing. Not in a relationship sense, just in the sense that I guess she doesn't understand how much our friendship means to me. I have directly told her that she has been my best, and at times, only friend. But her reaction is always along the lines of "haha, thanks!". I have no idea what I'd do without her, but to her I'm just another kid. She's been a good friend, but our friendship's almost one-sided. And this isn't some "I love her, why doesn't she love me" story. I think of her as a friend and nothing else. I don't really know where I was going with this, I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks to those of you who read this. | Girl is the greatest friend in the world to me, but it seems like I mean nothing to her. |
t3_4nhml3 | relationships | In love but frustrated | 7 months ago I began speaking to an amazing woman, her husband at the time lives in North Dakota and her and her daughter live in California, its been this way for 8 years. She finally got fed up and was slowly separating from him around the time her and I started talking. So a big part of this story is that her mom has always controlled her, her mom has the kind of strong personality where she manipulates using every trick in the book without shame, fear, lying, intimidation, guilt and anything else I forgot. My girlfriend on the otherhand is complete opposite, she is passive, a little timid and too sweet to change the effect it has on her. Long story short we have been together now for 5 months, everything is amazing between us, her daughter loves me and my boys love her but her family hates me, they know nothing about me but think its my fault that her and her husband separated. Every few months her mom yells at her, her sister tries to convince her she is wrong and it affects her for a day or two. If they werent in the way we would be great but her family still has such an effect on her and I hate seeing her down, especially when I have nothing to do with that part of how she feels. I've spoken to her mom and she didnt care about anything I had to say, she just used that time to insult me and try to convince me to leave her daughter alone. Her sister says she doesnt hate me but just doesnt want me to mess with her family, she says the reason is because I make her mom cry when I dont even speak to her mom. Im lost, I feel genuine love for my girlfriend and am willing to go through anything for her but what is the fix here? Please help me out, by the way, she is 28 and I am 33. | girlfriends family hates me, how do I fix this? |
t3_1lq7os | relationships | I [17M] would appreciate some advice regarding how to approach my ex [17F] | Hey, Reddit. I was [here] yesterday. If you don't wanna read that, it's fine. I'll give a brief summary.
Basically, my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. I went to her house, and we talked. First, we talked about the issues in our relationship and whether or not it was worth fixing. She said that she didn't know and would need some time to think. So we started hanging out, just being normal teenagers and having fun. Then in a moment of serendipity, we kissed. That continued for a few minutes. We cuddled and hugged and held hands and kissed for about 20 more minutes until I had to go home. Before I left, I said, "Let me know when you're ready." She said, "Alright."
I saw her at school yesterday. I was almost completely ignored, to say the least. However, last night (after I made the recent post), we talked over FaceTime. It was a great conversation, we had a lot of fun, laughs, and she even gave mention to Saturday (the day I came over). The conversation ended on a high note, and needless to say, I was realy encouraged and happy.
Today (I'm typing this at school), I saw her. We have the same group of friends, so we got involved in conversation. However, things were noticeably distant. It was nothing like the conversations we used to have or even the one last night. I know it's been one day. I just want to know how to approach her so I don't mess things up even further.
I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing. But to be honest, I want her back. It seems as if she doesn't want to talk to me in public, but in private, she's more than willing to hold a conversation. What can/should I do? If things don't work out, I'll try to move on, but I just want to know what I can do to try to get her back.
Thank you in advance. | My ex and I had an intimate moment, but after that, things have been getting distant. |
t3_3k0wqw | tifu | TIFU by going for a butt kick on my fiancée | Tonight was suppose to be my night to score with my fiancée and it's been awhile so due to not being able to get some alone time. I was stoked!
15min ago my fiancée gave me a cute little kick to my butt and winked as she walked past me. This was my chance to get her back!
Except I have been taking muay thai (like kickboxing) classes recently and have been working on getting higher kicks. Well I missed her butt....and hit her, with a harder than I wanted kick, straight to the kidneys (oh and she's had kidney sensitive kidneys for years).
Instead of getting the shabang on we're at the hospital..... | was going to get laid and kicked that opportunity away..... |
t3_5494ht | relationships | [20M] Unsure of how to deal with parental situation | Hello everyone, hope you are having a wonderful day :)
I bring this question here because I am a little unsure of where else to ask for advice, it's a situation that I am slightly lost on how to deal with it or what course of action to take.
Short back story. Since moving to university I was introduced to some less than savory lifestyles. Drugs became a big part of my life and I gradually developed a fairly uncontrollable addiction to a few of the substances I was using (namely weed and ketamine). My parents have always been fairly involved, so my habits did come apparent through a sequence of events which don't really need to be discussed. The despair that my parents went through was almost unbearable to me, even though their hysteria was unwarranted in a few given areas. I stopped using drugs for a long time and even to this day only use the odd psychedelic occasionally for the purpose of self-exploration, though admittedly at one point of high stress I did relapse into old habits (which I quickly got myself out of).
Fast forward to now. Something I have a huge passion for is electronic music and the psychedelic culture surrounding it. I love trance, techno and every genre of music associated which occurs in between. In a few months there is a large festival on which I would LOVE to attend, however here is my dilemma.
The guy who I would be going with is essentially my old drug friend, and still good friend to this day. The festival, like all bush doofs, is also known for it's drug use (though I guess every festival is to an extent). I want to go so bad, but I worry about how my parents will interpret this. I have worked hard to build a good reputation back with them and would hate to have that compromised.
I am 20 years old, I can do whatever I want, but would it be selfish/irresponsible for me to attend this event in light of what I have been through? I love my parents, but at what point do I need to do what makes me happy at the expense of what they would prefer me to do? | Want to go to a festival but do now want to damage parental relationship because of it. |
t3_1y0dnq | relationships | Anyone else have any experiencw with long term, exclusive, friends with benefits type relationships? (I'm 29/F, he's 27/M) | Hello Reddit! I'm curious if anyone else has been in a relationship like this before.
Years ago I was in a relationship with my college boyfriend (22/F and 19/M at the time). We were very serious for about two years but had a completely mutual, almost friendly breakup. We both simply realized that we didn't want all the things that go along with a relationship - family stuff, friends, weddings, daily talks, etc... and had drifted apart because of this.
Today, we are still what I'd consider "friends with benefits." We live 2 hours away from each other and we both have very busy jobs. We get together every 2-4 weeks on the weekend, have amazing sex, and love spending time together doing social things. We have talked about our relationship and have a strict agreement that if either one of us meets someone else that our current relationship has to end - but we've had this agreement for about 5 years now and neither one of us really wants anything to change.
I remember when I was in high school taking one of those quizes in Teen Magazine about "what kid of boyfriend do you want?" or something like that, and getting "Friends with Benefits" as my result. This has always stuck with me because, seriously, how does it get better than that?! I'm child free, have my friends, money, sex, and my alone time.
I suppose I'm concerned because my friends are constantly telling me "oh you're going to get hurt" or "you love him just admit it," but in all seriousness if he were to call me and say he'd found The One I'd be thrilled for him, and I'm pretty sure he'd feel the same.
I'm just ranting I think, but any thoughts or advice is happily welcomed! | Is long term, exclusive, friends with benefits, a real relationship that other people have - or is it just me? |
t3_1b86cc | dating_advice | 16M going for 17F - Getting confused with weird mixed signals | So I've known this girl for a couple years, now, we've been friends, had a couple classes together, but I never really thought of her as someone I might want to date until a school dance about a month ago. We danced the whole time, and I guess you could say it got kinda dirty haha. Either way, this was before our mid-winter break, and over the break this girl and I started hanging out more.
Everything was going really well. We had a great time together everytime we hung out over the break and the following weekend, talking for hours on end, usually followed by lots of making out and such. Anyway, in the last week and a half or so, it's almost like she has been trying to avoid me. I very rarely see her at school, and whenever I ask if she wants to go out for lunch she seems to have some sort of excuse. We text quite a bit but I just don't feel that connection that I initially had with her a few weeks back.
I really like this girl, and it seemed like she was really into me, but I can't really tell anymore. I should mention that I always saw her as being kind of shy, and almost that girl that you would just assume is "prude" when you look at her, but when we started hanging out and hooking up she really surprised me when she ended up being the complete opposite. She's never really had a real relationship before and nor have I, so I thought it was turning into something awesome until she started with these weird mixed signals. Any advice on how to approach this? | Just take 2 minutes and read the damn thing |
t3_4wp4oh | needadvice | X-post r/adhd: I do things impulsively. Is this normal? | Im 16, male, in 11th grade, currently not studying for a year to take care of my mom of her recent leg amputation, abroad, so i have limited social interaction now because I'm always at home, with a cousin to help.
Sometimes when I do something I'm just not aware of it, and I'm shocked about why I didn't even notice doing it and always disappointed.
Is this an attention disorder? Self esteem problem? Depression?
I exercise and regularly drink ginkgo and lutein supplements.
I am a caregiver (temporarily) of an angry, depressed, toxic mother, and maybe doing it for the next 6 years until I move out.
Sorry for bad english. | Do things impulsively and affecting my life in a negative way, and I'm afraid I might do something destructive when I become impulsive. |
t3_4m3lco | relationships | My [24 M] GF [24 F] doesn't want me to hang out with new friend. | New to this sub, but I want some opinions.
Recently, I made a new friend at work. My new buddy wants me to go out and get some sushi with him after work.
Usually my GF (5y exp) and I eat dinner together,(she doesn't hang out with friends or do her hobbies alone, only with me,)
but I want to go out for sushi tonight. I told her yesterday that he had invited me, but she expressed that she doesn't like sushi, so she wouldn't be eating it. After I told her that she wasn't necessarily invited, sh got angry with me and won't talk about it with me, saying that I never do anything with her. (We just got back from a weekend out of town by ourselves.)
My question is.. Should I go out for sushi even though she will be mad at me and it will end in a fight for sure, or should I cave and try to plan for another time? | Should I get some sushi? |
t3_43bqn6 | relationships | I [18m] am in love with my friend [17f]. Should I end the friendship? | I am 18 and I've known my friend, who is also 17, for 5 years now. I began to really like her about a year or so into knowing her but over time I have begun to like her more and more. I am only 17, so I do not know much about "love" and have never been kissed or held hands with girl let alone have a relationship, but I truly do think I love this girl. The lack of any sort of relationship has affected me and made me very depressed in the past year or so and I can not remember the last time I was truly happy for more than a few moments. Most of these moments consist of time spent with this girl. However I think it may be better for me if I no longer talk to her. She does now that I like her a lot, not necessarily that I think I am in love with her though, and has made it clear she will never want to be in a relationship with me. I personally feel that I may be better off alone and trying to forget about her than staying friends with her and continuing to be in love. I do really like the time I spend with her, but when I am not with her I am very depressed about not being able to be more than friends. I know 18 is still relatively young, but girls do not talk to me at all apart from her and I do not expect to ever really be in a relationship with anyone at this point. I have very low self confidence due to girls ignoring me and not even knowing what it's like to hold a girls hand or kiss one at 18 years old. Does anyone have advice on what to do in this situation? Should I just let her go and give up or remain friend knowing that's all we will be? I am depressed being friends and knowing we can't be more but I don't know if ending the friendship would just make my depression worse. | I [18m] have been in love for about 4 years with my only female friend [17f] and only girl who has ever really been my friend. I am depressed being her friend and knowing that's what we will stay as but fear ending the relationship will make me more depressed due to the fact that she is the only female that has ever really talked to me and I don't expect to find anyone else who would want to be in a relationship. |
t3_4vnbqh | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf [31 M] of 1 year - need encouragement and logistics advice for breakup. | My current bf and I met online about a year ago. He moved in with me a few months ago. I really care about him and we enjoy each other's company, but this is not the relationship I want long-term. I feel like I'm always pushing him to be a little different. Long-term, I want to be with someone who is romantic (at least once in a while), and isn't afraid to show the world that I'm special to him. In addition, the way that we fight is just not healthy IMO. We don't communicate well. We do have fun together, but I just feel that I could find someone who is a better match for me. There's nothing wrong with the way he is, I think we just could find people who are a better match for us and be happier. I think I will end up always feeling that something is missing or that it's not enough. I'm definitely sad about the idea of losing him, but I just don't think this is the type of relationship I want to be in forever. What I'm looking for is just for you all to tell me that I'm doing the right thing or tell me if I really should be giving this a chance or thinking from another perspective.
Additionally, I'm not sure what to do logistically. He lives with me and I can't leave the apartment to him because we ride to work together and he doesn't have a car. He wouldn't have a way to get to work. He has friends who live close to his work that would probably be willing to let him stay there. He doesn't have too much stuff at my apartment, maybe 2 suitcases worth. I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to make it easier on him. Any advice?
Any encouragement or advice would be very much appreciated! Thank you. | Ready to break up with live-in boyfriend, but need encouragement and any advice on how to make it easier on him logistically. |
t3_2r6way | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of a year, and I am jealous of a girl on instagram. | My boyfriend went to a military training camp in July for a month. Co-ed. He came back and one of the stories he told me about was a girl who he said was full of herself and just ridiculous. He said that she told the men that she would make all of them want her by the end of the month. Whenever she posts something ridiculous he always tells me about it and we laugh and he makes fun of her. However, he also likes all of her racy pictures and sometimes after he has told me he is asleep, it will show up on my feed that he has liked one or some of her pictures.
I am jealous and I don't know why. She isn't even in the same state (I don't think) and he has said he doesn't find her attractive (which she isn't ugly, but isn't really pretty). I have no reason to believe they are talking, it just rubs me the wrong way. Am I just being ridiculous or do I have a little bit of a reason to be jealous? And if I'm just being ridiculous, how do I stop being so jealous? | Boyfriend likes pictures of this girl on instagram; I am jealous. |
t3_kjt22 | AskReddit | Can any of you help me create a polyphasic sleep schedule? | Hi, I really want to start a polyphasic sleep schedule so that I have more time to do homework, hobbies, etc. I go to school for 7 hours a day from 7:30-2:30 so that means there **has** to be a 7 hour period in my schedule where I'm awake. I'm looking to minimize my total amount of sleep per day as much as possible while still feeling rested. I'm not currently doing any afterschool activities so I have a pretty flexible schedule to sleep. I think that being able to stay up most of the night will be really fun and interesting. I'm only planning on trying this for a month or two so this won't be long term. Can you guys help me figure out a schedule that will work? I don't want to make one myself because I'm afraid that it won't be effective. | I want a polyphasic sleep schedule. Has to work for 7 hours of school though. |
t3_3xk1go | relationship_advice | I[25/m] am about to lose my best friend [25/m] of 15 years over stupid Star Wars [no Star Wars spoilers within, I promise] and I don't know what to do. Please help. | So it all started out by me texting my friend, Luke, in a group chat of 5 with our "group of friends" I ask "hey you guys wanna go see Star Wars" He replies with "I just went and saw it with my girlfriend and [Star Wars Spoiler]" 2 of the people in the group already saw it so the spoiler didn't effect them, and the other doesn't really care about Star Wars so he didn't care. But I'm a big Star Wars fan so I flip the fuck out.
I yelled at him, asking why he would spoil the movie for me and everything and tell him that's an asshole move. He responds with "It's just a movie man, you're over reacting". I told him to fuck off and it turned into a big fight in the group chat.
Our friends in the group chat just keep saying stop acting like children and to just stop it and everything.
A few hours pass and I start up some private conversations with my other friends in the group chat and they have private conversations with Luke acting as a middle man for our fight.
It's blown way out of proportion and now its down to this: I'm refusing to talk to him until he apologizes for ruining the biggest movie of the year for me, and he's refusing to apologize because he doesn't think it's a big deal. We're at a stand still and fucking sucks and I don't know what to do.
All he has to do is apologize and this whole mess is over and it's pissing me off more that he thinks he did nothing wrong than the actual spoiler itself. It would fucking suck to see our life long friendship end like this and I don't know what to do. Please give me your advice. I really appreciate it. | My friend sees Star Wars without me, tells me a spoiler about the movie before I go see it, fight breaks out, he's doesn't want to apologize because he doesn't think its a big deal, I'm not talking to him until he apologizes. |
t3_lrhgy | AskReddit | What is the most disruptive thing you have seen or heard someone do in a cinema? | Saw Soderbergh's "Contagion" in a small, shitty cinema in London last week. Only about 20 people at the screening. I was seated in the second last row. The only person in the back row was an old dude (about 70 years old or more). Throughout the movie he was making "uh-uh-uh" noises which progressively got louder as the movie went on, and were extra noticeable in the quiet parts. At least three people left, pretty sure because of him. Someone told him to SHHHHHHH but it made no difference. He just keeps going "uh-uh-uh".
To cap it all off, he eventually gets up and SPEAKS to the usher at the back of the cinema, asks "HOW LONG HAS IT GOT TO GO" and the usher says "two minutes sir" and the old dude says "THIRTY MINUTES??" and the usher says "two minutes."
The old guy then says "DO YOU SELL WATER DOWNSTAIRS?" and fucking LEAVES the cinema two minutes before the ending. I didn't know the movie had only two minutes to go, the old cunt ruined it for me. What an inconsiderate prick.
I had to get that off my chest. | old cunt grunts through entire movie, starts a conversation with the usher and leaves 2 minutes before the film ends |
t3_zg0d7 | Parenting | I got some bad news today | Hi reddit. I'm a proud father of 2 awesome daughters but today I got the news I was hoping never to here.
My eldest is 4 but she is a bit behind in learning mainly in here ability to speak. We put her into speech therapy plus doing a lot of stuff at home and she has improved greatly. We have also seen doctors and had tests done. We got the results for a blood test today and it turns out she is missing a chromosome and there are some abnormalities in some of them.
I don't know know what to do. I just wanted my daughters to both be healthy and now we have months of waiting to find out exactly what's wrong and to get tests done ourselves.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this? How did you cope?
I guess I'm just looking for someone to relate to and some advice on what to expect. | got told that my daughter only has 45 chromosomes some with abnormalities. Looking for advice on how to deal with it. |
t3_2tw0gj | relationships | I (M19) screwed up big time with my girlfriend (F19) and she's offering a do-over, but I dont know how to do as she asks | Before this issue came along, we've been together almost 2 years and even though we're young, want to try and stay together in the long term.
So recently all came clear that I cheated. Yes I know its awful and she should leave me etc etc, maybe she should. Either way I do love her so much and I regret everything that I have done.
We've struggled through this and currently are not together. She wants to stay with me and has told me I need to 'make it up to her' if we're to work out. She did give another way out, I had to publicly apologize but I fucked that up too so she took that option away.
She's been pretty hard to speak to recently, she's having mood swings and I feel like she just couldn't give a shit about me, I have no motivation to show my caring side either due to this :/ But she says she does love and care about me.
I really want to get with her, and for us to work out. If we get back if I 'make it up to her', she is willing to put my cheating behind us and start again.
Problem. How do I make it up to her? I have no idea what to do and she wont tell me either. What do I do reddit? | I cheated on my girl, she's offered to move on and stay with me if I 'make it up to her', I've no idea how to, what do I do? |
t3_2qfro1 | relationships | Me [24/M] looking for books on increasing my market value/desirability/ overall rating - Be you, but better | Hey everyone,
let me start off by saying i am happily single from a breakup. I am using this time to better myself, both physically, mentally and even emotionally, currently not looking for relationships. Is there any specific book on systematic improvement of all values an individual could have to increase his rating? To become more desirable catch?
* If you have an a haircut that doesn't exactly fit your head type/face shape, or just a random haircut that is currently "popular" go to a stylist to help you make one that will fit better
* If you have a high pitched voice, work on being more grounded, relaxing your breathing muscles, deeping the voice
* Having boring life and not much going on? Work on getting new experiences, new encounters to enhance it
* Fat or average looking? Work on your physical condition and shape
* Average, casually dressed? Work on being dressed really well
* Lack of character? Build it through continious habit and repetition that brings you closer to whicever goals you may have
* Unrelaxed, cant dance, anxious? Work on relaxation methods, being more grounded, more in control
All of this is by no means necessary. BE YOU, BUT BETTER, i am not talking about changing who you are at your essence or pretending you are someone you are not. | looking for books on systematic improvement of all possible qualities a man can/could/should have in order to improve my desirability, rating and increase my value on the "market". |
t3_rcnl4 | AskReddit | My baby's daddy is ruining my life. What is the best way to tell him to stop? | I made the mistake of having a child with a man I had no intention of being with. Obviously it didn't work out and we split up when our son was around six months old. He just turned two and I've been through a year and a half of being threatened with court, being told that I'm never going to see my son again, being sexually harassed, telling any guy I talk to that he's going to get his ass kicked, telling his family and friends that I want nothing to do with my son and I just want to party, and general awesomeness. I have never tried to take our son away or retaliate in any way. While he treats me with anything but respect he is absolutely great with our son and I don't want to take that away from either of them. I've been thinking about getting a contract put together for both of us to sign that would just legally bind us to the terms that we've already verbally agreed to but I'm worried that's just going to provoke him into another logical and thought out tirade as to why I'm a bad mother.
Help? | My baby's daddy is a lunatic but a good dad, how do I make him be nice to me? |
t3_q99l4 | AskReddit | Reddit, I really hate school, and I can't motivate myself to do any work for it. How have you guys dealt with this? | I'm in high school, a Junior, and I hate it with a passion. It's not that I hate learning, I should say. I love it. I read voraciously, I love math, I write. I'm really very intelligent, and do well academically. But this year, I've found myself completely incapable of giving half a shit for the place. I hate it so much; I like a couple of my subjects, but not any of my classes. I don't like the people and every time that I try to get myself to do anything for it, I just find myself wondering what the point is. I have decent grades in supposedly hard classes (I'm taking a lot of advanced courses, though none of them provide anything resembling an intellectual challenge). So college is not really a worry for me. I'll get into a good one, not a great one. It's really too late for me to change any of that. I have no respect for the grading system, as I think it doesn't represent true education at all, and that learning should be for the sake of furthering one's understanding of the world and art and all that, not to get the approval of some stupid teacher. So I don't try for it at all. So yea, my grades are not doing well, especially in English class (I took four years of a really incredible Creative Writing class and am a very good writer, so my stupid English class seems rather useless and absurd to me), and I simply don't know any way to get myself to care enough to do anything about this. Any help from you guys? | Senioritis set in early, now I need some sort of non-material motivation to work in school. |
t3_1vei56 | relationship_advice | I [f/21] am in over my head [m/22] | I am using a throwaway. I [f/21] am way over my head. I am married to [m/22] the man I started dating in high school. We got married young at 19 and it has been over two years.
To start off our marriage was rushed. We got engaged much sooner then we intended because of his residential status.(please no comments on this I am talking about the relationship not politics) We wanted to wait until now around 21 to get engaged and get married after a long engagement. Things got rushed due to him not being able to keep a job due to his status. He was not okay with being paid under the table or stealing a SS#.
Fast forward a year. Our marriage is doing fine we are happy slowly taking care of his status. His family is having financial trouble and ask that we all live together to make the bills easier. Well we use my credit and my money to buy a massive house. The stress of working twice as much and dealing with all the house financing I total two cars in a terrible winter.
We finally get into the home and he acts like a kid again. "his mommy can take care of it" Our family is no longer the main priority but his family is. I am not apart of his family. At this point I just feel used.
I have given up so much for him and now I just don't matter. I don't really have anyone to turn to due to lack of friends and a vicious family on my side. I just feel I have no one to care about me and no where to go. | Relationship for 3 years, got married young and much sooner then planned. Things go great until we move in with his family. He has no plans of ever putting me before them. Been together 5 years now. Feeling very lost, overwhelmed and alone. |
t3_283hzq | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [25 F] of 7 months, think I should dump her because of her diet choices and attitude towards excercise. | A little information on me. I lift weights 5-6 days a week, and run 6 miles a week + play pickup basketball and paintball. I have done this since we have been together. My gf, on the other hand, has never used the gym until she met me. She eats almost the worst diet possible, pizzas, hamburgers, candy, sugury drinks, cake, ice cream all time time. I have been trying to get her to change her diet, but the only time she does is when shes around me. Leave her alone, and she goes back to eating like shit. She even sends me pictures of it, thinking its funny.
I have been trying to get her to go the gym, but she will only go with me and not on her own. Due to my odd schedule, this is a major inconvience to me, but I have been making this sacrifice several times a week. Finally, she gets a gym membership and I am ecstatic, but she has yet to go in the whole month since she got it. There is always some bullshit excuse, such as I'm too tired, or my legs hurt. I tell her shes always tired because of her diet, but she wont listen to me. I am getting sick of this. Shes 25, not 18, and she cant handle eating like this for long. She has already been gaining weight since we met.
I am slowly losing my attraction to her, and I feel awful, but I feel like it's her fault. I have given her all the help she needs to get started, way more than anyone ever gave me, but she refuses it. I love her for more than her looks, but I can't ignore the fact she is terribly unhealthy and probably not going to change that. Asking for someone elses opintion on this is pretty hard for me, so please, help. | GF is unhealthy and won't change even though I have given her all the help and motivation she needs. |
t3_2h3dg2 | relationships | I [21 M] pick one potential roommate, while other roommate picks another [24 M] duration, short-description | I recently moved into a two bedroom apartment in the city this summer, and simultaneously met my two roommates. **A** has lived there for around four years with a number of roommates throughout that time. He has his own room(and therefore pays a higher percentage) and his girlfriend is over *a lot*, I'm still unsure if she lives here or not. **B** and I share a room and pay less.
**B** is moving out and **A** and I are looking for potential roommates. I found one but he decided on another place. **A** put an ad up on some sites (but was surprised when he saw me trying to contribute to the search). We had a few check out the place and now can't decide between two. **1** is very business oriented and has his payment upfront and supposedly is out for 12 hours a day. He works for some startup company and told us his bosses like him and has a large network and many connections (**A** recently got laid off from a TV company).
**2** is a mid-20's Italian who moved here one year ago to finish his degree and is now in research. I can relate to him more since I had mostly immigrant friends all my life. Now he texted **A** saying he visited another place and has to decide between the two apartments, preferring ours.
I can't associate with **1** at all, and tried to avoid people like him all throughout high school to this day. **A** prefers him, and I feel like he wants him because he's gone for most of the day, looks like he can pay rent consistently, and mentioned the business connections.
I've only lived there for less than 4 months to his 4 years. But then again the roommate will be sharing a room with me, in which there is little privacy and only room for one desk. Should I back down to seniority? | Down to two potential roommate choices, and my roommate and I are conflicted on which to choose. |
t3_2vli54 | tifu | TIFU by going through the drive thru at 1am. | More like a TIFU for everyone involved, really.
Last week, my friend's (Friend 1) car broke down, leaving her without transportation for that entire week while it was in the shop. Friend 2 and I started taking her to work midday and picking her up around 10pm when she got off.
One night, we make a detour to Taco Bell because she hadn't eaten dinner yet. By this point, it's about 12:45-1am because we'd dicked around at her apartment for awhile beforehand. So...technically a little late to be ordering food, but like I said, dicking around.
I pull into the drive-thru, but I pull up a little further so that the speaker's in front of Friend 1's window in the back since Friend 2 and I weren't hungry. We're finishing up a conversation about the menu or something at this point, so I was the only one who heard the girl on the speaker say, "Hi, how are you?"
Conversation goes on for a couple seconds more, and then this happens:
Friend 1: Hi, I'd like a-
Cashier: I'm doing GREAT, THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! :D :D :D (Think of this spoken in the most caustic way possible.)
We sat in stunned silence for a full minute.
Eventually, Friend 1 ordered, we got our food, and drove off. We did feel pretty bad after that for not responding to her hello, though. We usually aren't *those* people. | Always return your server's greeting. |
t3_lynhi | AskReddit | Does anyone else out there feel like they are the camera of the world? | I don't usually post things I don't know on reddit. Anyone can look anything up on google, so it seems pointless to ask what "audacious" means when you can clearly go online you jackass. But I digress.
Have any of you ever thought that you were a camera and everyone else were characters in your movie? I have seen the meme of 'The Truman Show' so I know people are on my level.
I swallowed a penny when I was little. I thought I was going to die. I was in my bunk bed and I was playing with a penny right above my head. The penny dropped right in and I started to wonder what might happen. Then it hit me, I might die because this is in my stomach. Would the penny stay in my body for the rest of my life? I got so scared that I screamed at the top of my lungs. My mom came rushing in the bathroom where I was sitting next to the toilet hoping the penny would come back up. Mom still doesn't know to this day but I have gotten multiple x-rays for random things and they haven't found anything unusual, including a penny.
That's when it hit me. I was just in that situation and I didn't want to die. Questions arose in my head thinking where did everyone come from. I grew up catholic but I'm a christer (only go to church christmas and easter). From that day on I couldn't stop thinking about how I am the camera of the world. People die right in front of you and it hurts you mentally for the rest of your life. What if that happened to you? Would you think to yourself "If I die today, will everyone die with me since I am the camera"? | I think I am the camera of the world and when I die, everyone will disappear and vanish just like me. |
t3_2l53v8 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend[20 F] of 9 months, kissed ex-girlfriend while drunk on camping trip. | Throwaway.
I had a difficult break with my last ex of 7 months. I liked her a lot and she wanted to date someone else. Before, we had discussed breaking up if we found someone else, so we agreed to end it. I didn't take it well at all and tried to be friends off and on with her until breaking off communication with her almost entirely.
After about 6 months of this, I finally talked to her and we became friends again and it was nice. She introduced me to my now girlfriend. Time goes by and I am happy with my new girlfriend up until now.
My ex and my current girlfriend have mutual friend groups and started hanging out together more frequently because she broke up with her boyfriend recently.. They went shopping together, and got drunk together, went dancing together. Girl stuff. But this weekend they got drunk and ended up making out for a significant amount of time along with another girl that was there.
I felt hurt and betrayed and jealous when my girlfriend told me. She smiled and asked if I had any fantasies about her and my ex. I said that it made me feel like I was being unfaithful if I thought about my ex in a romantic way, and that I was embarrassed to be aroused by the idea. She says it's not supposed to be sexual and she does it to bond with all of her girlfriends.
Her kissing her other girlfriends doesn't bother me, it's just when she kissed my ex. What does all of this mean? Should I be upset with her? Am I missing something crucial here? Am I overreacting to all of this?
Thank you for your advice in advance. | Girlfriend kissed my ex, made me confused and horny. |
t3_16nm10 | relationships | He's making odd statements after a year apart. (23 f) (26 m) | My ex and I broke up a year ago after 2 years of dating.
We stayed friends, and he's never flirted with me or made any romantic gestures in that time. We also continued having a sexual relationship, but it really hasn't been a big deal. We had a great relationship and awesome sexual chemistry. He broke up with me because he wasn't feeling as strongly about me as he was before. Having had more relationship experience than him, I personally think that it was just the honeymoon phase passing (we had zero serious issues and were very respectful toward each other. Honestly it was the smoothest relationship I've been in). I got over it pretty quickly, I'm not the kind of person that stays upset over breakups very long, and I don't have any negative feelings toward him.
He's been texting me more flirtatious things lately, such as playfully saying I should come cuddle. Last night he came over to hang out, and said a few things that sort of have me scratching my head. He said that he "cares about me...... a lot", that I'm amazing and beautiful, that he feels overwhelmed when he's around me, that he's still never felt closer to any girl, that he had a dream about me the night before. I didn't know what to say, so I mostly just said thanks. When he said he's still never felt closer to any girl, I didn't say anything.
We're both very shy, and I'm a bit clueless when it comes to guys and relationships, so I'm not sure if he was indicating he would like to have a reconciliation, or if that's just wishful thinking on my part. I haven't thought about him in a romantic way in a long time, but it's something I wouldn't mind exploring again if that's on his mind.
I'm not sure what to say to him, or how I would begin a conversation about us. I would be very nervous to try to talk about it, and I'm wondering if I should just shrug it off as a random thing and let it go. | Ex broke up with me a year ago. Said some flirtatious things the last time we hung out and I can't tell if he wants me back, or how to bring up the subject. |
t3_2eyws9 | tifu | TIFU by asking for taco bell | So last night I was at home talking to my boyfriend on the phone when he said he was coming over to hangout. So before he left I asked for taco bell. His first reply was no but i talked him into it. I wait awhile then i hear him in the driveway, i let him in and instantly go to my food, at the time I was so happy to be with him. I get my 2 Doritos locos tacos out of the bag and destroy the first one in almost a minute. I then go and get my second one I open it up and it looked delicious. Until i took the first bite, it tasted very strange in a familiar way, then i take a second bite and I see sour cream dripping out and something else in it. I then look to my laughing boyfriend and ask him what it is. He said it was nothing and to continue eating it. I put it down and look him in the eyes and tell me. He finally budged and told me that he was horny in the car and shook his creamer into my taco. Needless to say i was furious, he was still laughing about it and said "You swallowed that now to can swallow when you give me a bj" I then made him leave and broke things off with him this morning. | Asked bf for taco bell, bf was horny in the car ride, ate a Doritos locos sperm taco. |
t3_322ro3 | relationships | How can I [18M] deal with overprotective [50M/F] parents? | I am a senior in high school, and I have really easy classes this semester. I have already been accepted to college, so I pretty much just need to pass all of my classes. Lately I have been going over to my friend "Joe's" house after school. Another close friend "Alex" usually comes over too. We usually just play Super Smash Bros. and work on a game we have been developing. My parents have become suspicious on why I go there so frequently. Now when I come home, they smell my breath and my clothes to see if it smells like alcohol/weed. Joe does occasionally smoke weed, but he knows Alex and I aren't into that, so he never does around us.
Also a few days ago, I left my phone in Joe's room and went downstairs to play Smash for about an hour. I guess my parents tried to call me and I didn't answer so they freaked out. I got home and they told me they tracked my phone using FindMyiPhone (which is weird because there's no way they have my login) and it said it was offline. They asked if I was buying drugs or something and that's why I didn't answer or turned my phone off. I told them they can call Joe's parents, they know I was there.
Shouldn't I be concerned that they can track my cellphone? I know they have every right to, but I'm 18 so shouldn't they trust me by now? This might sound bad, but soon I might have the chance at having sex with my girlfriend (who is 19). I know neither of our homes will be okay for that, so we're going to have to go somewhere. I just don't understand why they can't trust me. I have to live at home for college for at least the next 2 years, so how can I deal with them? | Parents think when I am having innocent fun I am doing the worst things possible. Found out they might be tracking my phone. How can I deal with them? |
t3_3rql9t | relationships | I (23M) am applying to medical school and she (27F) is concerned about our future | We have been dating for the better part of 6 months now (known each other since beginning of the year) and it's getting to the point where we are getting fairly serious. I know that her clock is ticking and that she wants to settle down but she is concerned with the fact that my future is uncertain. I am applying to medical school and that's a big commitment for her to make if she wants to stay with me (either I move or I stay here in Hawaii). I understand that but it's becoming scary for me because I'm starting to really love her now.
She had a freak out today because I couldn't go over to her house to hang out and had to finish a medical school application. I told her it's because I wanted to free up the weekend but she's worried that this will become a recurring thing and that I am always going to have other commitments (family, school, work, etc.). We are both independent people by nature and we both let each other do their own thing.
It's just putting me in a weird spot. I know I want a career in medicine, but I'm also starting to come to terms with the fact that I want this person to be a significant part of my life. I know I'm going in circles but maybe someone can stop me from spinning and shed some light on a similar situation? | She is concerned about my uncertain future and we're at the point where we want to be with each other for an extended period of time. |
t3_2csunp | relationships | Me [19F] with my BF of 1 year [20M] he said something very hurtful. Should I just laugh it off? | Hi, so the other day me and my BF were hanging out. I can't remember how it started, but we were talking about celebrities. He loves this particular actress, he thinks she's really hot. Anyway he asked me if I was jealous of her ass (she really does have an amazing ass!) I have a decent ass. It's very normal, not out of this world amazing, but fine.
However I have pretty bad confidence/body image problems. (for example I was anorexic a few years ago) Although I am a lot better than I used to be I still really struggle sometimes. I am insecure. He KNOWS I'm insecure. He said it while smiling in a joke-y kind of way. I really got the sense he liked the idea of me feeling jealous. Wtf? What if I asked him "hurhur you jealous of my favorite actors muscles?" not so funny anymore I think. I can't imagine why I would ever say something like that to him!! It would be really mean... no?
I laughed it off at the time, but it stung. Am I being too sensitive? I am so much more careful about how I say things to people, and he doesn't seem to be like this at all. | My BF jokingly asked if I was jealous of an actresses ass when he knows I'm insecure about my body. |
t3_4gbgnx | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend[24 M] 9 years, can't have sex due to pain and anxiety | I met my boyfriend at a party in high school, and while we've had our occasional fight every now and then, our relationship has remained steady and stable throughought the years. Two years ago, I decided that I was comftorable with having penatrative sex, so I got on birth control.
The first time when I tried, it hurt so bad we had to stop, I couldn't even get the tip in. We've been trying for two years, using different positions, lube, and lubricated condoms. I've talked with my gynocologist and she says it's an anxiety issue that can't really be fixed with anything except maybe therapy and masturbation but it really doesn't seem to be working.
I've told my boyfriend this, and he *says* he's fine with it and he's very sweet and understanding, but I'm not and I'm scared that I'm never going to be able to have sex and that he's secretly really disappointed about it or might get bored and leave me eventually and doesn't want to say anything to put pressure on me and I feel horrible and ashamed for being unable to do this one thing that I *know* we both want to do and what every couple does. | Can't have sex because it hurts too bad and it's really embarrassing despite my boyfriend's understanding. |
t3_11shtk | AskReddit | I start my new job on Monday. I fell ill yesterday. Do you have any advice or tips for helping me become better? | Ok so Monday will be a huge, important day for me, I CAN'T be sick. It's only a cold that was pretty much confirmed last night, but I can't have it progressing into a flu or fever and to be honest I don't want to even have a sniffle on Monday. I've been drinking Zeolite, taking vitamins, taking co-codamol and ibuprofen, I'm tucked up all warm in bed (Gives me an excuse to Reddit and game all day), drinking lots of herbal tea, going to get my hands on some colloidal silver... What else can I do?
Thanks everyone :) | how do i get rid of a cold? |
t3_1h7aya | relationship_advice | [16/f] Thinking of going on a "break" with [19/m]. Should he get it? | We've been dating for over a year and a half now, seeing each other at least twice a week, everything's good.
Lately (over the last month or so), I've been noticing the following, along with our communicating about issues:
-He constantly "jokes" that I'm like an overly attached girlfriend.
-He gets incredibly pissed if I get upset about sexual bumps in the road, or not being able to talk, or if I tell him I don't think he cares about me.
-He's gone as far to say he doesn't think I love him, and that I was being an ungrateful jackass when he was angry. (note: we'd never fought like this before, and he and I understand that we can't make each other angry to the point of insults any longer).
To air on the side of caution, I AM the type of girl that will answer texts all day, unless I'm actually hanging out with my boyfriend. I think, however, that I may be too clingy and he does go on sometimes that I'm "wearing him down". I am rather emotional, but I'm also still in high school, and I know I have NO IDEA what maturity in a relationship is at this point in my life. So, I'm wondering if it'd be a good idea to go on a "break" with him.
I'm making this clear, I am NOT a stuck-up bitch trying to keep her "options" open.
I just think it would be better for both of us if he got his space and I got to focus more on my redditing, videogames, the works. Asking you guys first, because I think you guys'll see the good intention here? Although I do know "breaks" lead to the inevitable break-ups, I would never do that to him I'm just trying to look out for our best interests. | Bf starting to think I'm too clingy, thinking of telling him we're taking a "break". Not breaking it off, just giving him space. Yay or Nay? |
t3_2ln84s | relationships | Me 26f met a guy 25m who speaks bad English, was he being creepy or cute? (Need Spanish speakers opinion) | I'm going to keep this short because there was just one thing that kinda stumped me. I met this guy at a bar last night, was polite but a little forward, we exchanged #s, today he texted me and I jokingly pretend to not know who he was and he says "You remember Papi chulo <his name>" - can anyone tell me what this means? Like is this "polite conversation" material in Spanish or does it have the same pervy/sexual connotations that it would in English? I don't wanna blow him off over an innocent joke but I can't figure it out. :/ Please don't just google and it tell me because I already tried that, I'm wondering if anyone is familiar with the culture enough to say. | Met a cute guy, English second language, called himself daddy or "papi chulo" in a text??? Is this polite or rude in Spanish culture? |
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