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t3_481lf0 | relationships | I [31 M] am thinking about getting back with my ex [39 M] we broke up a year go. Any of you out there had successful relationships after getting back with your ex? | We dated for 6 months and it was passionate and fantastic. We both felt like we were meant for each other.
I had a really rough year right before and part of our relationship. I was strained financially and that brought a lot of stress into all areas of my life. The split was peaceful, I'm not one to stir up drama, but it definitely broke my heart.
It's been a year since our breakup and we recently started talking again. I'd sent the odd text over the last year to wish him a happy birthday, etc. but we hadn't seen each other in person. We decided to meet for the first time a few days ago and the connection between us is magnetic. I know he felt it too. We're both single.
My question is, have you gotten back with an ex and made a lasting relationship? | my ex and I broke up a year ago, should I consider getting back together with him? |
t3_49aela | relationships | Me [27 M] I talk to a phone sex worker [22 F] because I have no friends. | Hey I'm 27 overweight wear glasses and have funky hair. I've never been on a date or ever interacted with a woman at all in my life. I'm almost 30 and I've come to terms with the fact that I'll probably die alone.
The most interaction I've had with a woman was in high school. A very pretty girl would sit with me because in her own words "she felt bad for me". I was alone throughout college didn't have any friends at all and my family were to busy with their lives to call once in awhile.
I was bullied picked on called names and beat up several time throughout college. I remember one girl asked me out on a date and I was so excited I cleaned up and picked out a nice outfit.
She stood me up and I had to look like a fool and eat alone that night. After that her and her friends made fun of me the next day. How I've managed to not end it all I don't know.
I decided since I really couldn't get a girlfriend or any woman for that matter. I'd try a phone sex operator it felt good to actually hear a woman's voice other than from porn.
We talked and talked and eventually she gave me her personal number. We talk everyday now and she knows almost everything about me now. Am I truly a loser?
Here I am a almost 30 year old man still a virgin ugly as fuck according to tinder dates. And the only friend I have is a phone sex worker. I live alone and I sit here everyday thinking about how I want a family.
The guys I work with have wives family's and have a happy life. I want that I want to go out and when people ask be able to tell them "yea I have a family that I love" but I can't.
I feel alone sometimes and the only thing keeping me going is playing video games. Sorry just wanted to vent a little. | I'm ugly and can't get a girlfriend on top of a crap load of other problems. |
t3_1v7kzk | relationships | I [28 M] have been with my GF [41 F] for about a year, unsure about age difference all of a sudden? Any advice? | Although there is an age difference between us, she looks younger than she is. I look a bit older than I am and generally nobody notices a huge age gap. Everything is going really well, we communicate effectively and have resolved many of our problems and seem to have both gotten over the age barrier. We both get on with each other's families and friends. We also trust each other implicitly which is something lacking in previous relationships for both of us.
One thing is that she has a child who is around 9 years old. Now, I'm not bothered about having my own kids and if I'm honest, don't particularly enjoy being around children. However I always try to make an effort and have bonded with her kid over time. If anything this is a minor issue, comes with the territory and is not going to change but is something that I find hard to deal with at times.
Lately though, I have been thinking about calling it a day. I just can't see it being a fruitful relationship in say, 10 years time when she'll be in her fifties and I'm barely out of my forties. At the same time I can't imagine life without her. Even so, perhaps I should find someone closer to my own age? I really do love her but have to be realistic. It's been really fun, we've had some great times together and I will never forget it.
Ending a relationship is never easy though and I hate doing that to someone but the longer I leave it, the harder it will get. I know she would be mature enough to accept it but would definitely want an explanation from me and I'd probably never see her again.
Have any of you been in [long term] relationships where the guy is younger? It's usually the other way around! What were your experiences? | Younger guy with older woman, unsure if relationship should continue? |
t3_39v8kb | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [23M] Dating for one year and 3 months currently with a no contact order | My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a few months now. He can be very sweet however he gets mad easily. A few days ago me and my boyfriend got into a argument around 2am. I was teary while we were arguing and at one point I took a step back from him and right after that he told me to come closer. But I heard him clearly after I took a step back and told him I didn't want to stay close to him because his voice was loud enough for me to hear. At that point he then grabbed my arm to pull me closer towards him. We argued for a bit more and apperently someone called the police. They arrested him and before I knew it I was also taken to the police station.
I had no idea he was going to jail. He was being charged with domestic violence. The following day a judge heard his case and they issued a no contact order but let him go from custody. I had told them I didn't want one a no contact order. The next court day is early July(next month). But apprently with the no contact order he can not contact me and can't respond to anything I send him.
Right now I do not know how to feel except that I feel restless and I keep wondering if he is all right and if he still wants to be with me. I am guessing he might be mad because he had to stay in jail for a bit over a day. I do not know what to do or think right now except to not contact him despite an urge to do so.
I do not want a no contact order and I didn't want an arrest to happen. What should I do now besides not contacting him. I don't know if they will give him jail time but I am extremely worried for him. | with the no contact order in place should I still think he still wants to be together with me? And am I doing the right thing by not contacting him? What else should I do? |
t3_40buxm | tifu | TIFU by being nice to my cat | So I was chilling in bed with my cat, Satan, and I was scrolling through Reddit when I see him starting to twitch and run in his sleep. I wake him up with a poke and he looks at me all pissed off so I leave him alone again. A few minutes later, he starts it again and instead of waking him up, I just pet him a few times before he rolls onto his back and EJACULATES ALL OVER ME AND MY FACE. THAT MOTHERFUCKER WAS HAVING A WET DREAM AND IT GOT IN MY MOUTH. Now I can't even walk by him without him looking at me like I'm his bitch... | was nice to my cat, got a satanic facial in return |
t3_4njsji | relationship_advice | A girl [16F] gave me [16M] her number but after a few days won't respond. | Hey reddit. A friend of mine randomly commented one of my Instagram posts, she posted her number and told me to text her. I texted her and we talked and were flirting back and forth all day, then we talked all the next day.
The following day I messaged her with no response. Later on that day she messaged me back and again, we talked almost all day until later that night she just stopped responding.
Earlier today I messaged her and still haven't gotten a response back. All throughout May her and her (now ex) boyfriend were having troubles. They broke up but she's still kinda into him. I've had a thing for this girl since I'd first met her, but she'd always been with her ex boyfriend. What do I do? | See title. |
t3_35z0y9 | relationships | I [18 M] and no females my age like me. | I'm graduating from high school and never had a girlfriend. Not even a cheesy middle school relationship type of thing. There's only been two girls I've ever really liked, one of which I know from school and another that goes to the same church at me.
My schoolmate rejected me after 6 months of talking on Facebook and IRL, saying she held back because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. -56 Morale.
The girl from church I never really talked to, but I got some solid telltale signs (immediately leaving room if I'm in it, walking opposite direction when I've been seen) so I stopped trying.
I know that I'm fairly young, but my 6'3" skinny self is feeling pretty bad about himself when he has effectively 0 females as even "just friends" around his age. The only girls that are friends I have are all my sister's friends, at least 4-5 years older than me. I'm getting a sense that there's a collective dislike of me.
Once I told off a girl from my church who is extremely fake and a massive player. I know she doesn't like me for sure. She has a large influence and a lot of "friends" however, so it's very likely she taught the rest of the girls at church to hate me.
Other than that incident, I'm honestly a laid back person and I don't have very many enemies. My guy friends tell me that they thought I looked angry and serious all the time before they met me but they "found out how not serious and funny I am". Doesn't make me feel much better.
I'm Romanian. It's a society where you basically have to get married before 25 or everyone starts spreading toxic rumors about your character. Nasty stuff. What can I do to at least get girls to not hate me? | I live in a toxic community, no girls like me. Friends think I'm funny and cool to hang around, but they thought I always angry and serious before they got to know me. Getting depressed real fast. |
t3_3n0gpi | personalfinance | One ER Visit, 11k in Costs, Insured by Employer, But No One Noted My Info, Now 11k In Debt | Back in 2013, I was in a car accident. An ambulance ride and hospital trip later, there was a bill totaling $13,000. I remember giving the EMTs and nurse my information (ID, updated address, and medical card). I was insured with my employer's health benefits at the time. During those months, I was dealing with all this + my mom's death and did not have a good tracking method of everything that was going on (not an excuse, just a confession of being unorganized).
Now, I just received a letter from a collection agency for the ambulance ride to the updated address I'm currently at--I just took care of that. I couldn't find anything about the ER stay, so I went to the hospital and saw the balance of $11 which is now with the Department of Revenue.
I reached out the insurance company and since timely processing has passed (I'm also no longer insured by them as my company switched to a different company), they don't want to pay for it. They noted the only exception is if the address was wrong, and in which, it was. The hospital took down my outdated address from my ID, and even then, they wrote it down as "court" instead of "circle."
Even with this, the insurance company is being pretty adamant in not wanting to pay, so I just obtained an itemized statement with the incorrect address to fax them and have not heard back. With the 11k balance in my face, I'm scared and don't know what the next steps would be. Anyone ever have to deal with health insurance companies and/or Department of Revenue? Please help/advise. | 11k balance for an ER stay, now passed timely processing for health insurance company, they don't want to pay, the bill is with the department of revenue |
t3_27v3yt | relationships | I'm (19M) is wondering if she (20F) wants the real thing. | A girl that I was in an FWB relationship with during college and I recently decided that we wanted to take a crack at dating. We get along great and have both admitted to having strong feelings for each other.
Before falling for her, I was very against getting into a relationship. I had this idea that college would only be for casual hook-ups, one night stands, etc. Therefore, making the decision to want to have something concrete with this girl took a lot of contemplating.
Now problem: we've been going on dates for the past couple weeks and have practically been acting like a couple however she still isn't ready to make our relationship exclusive, calling each other bf and gf. This bothers me because it took a lot of effort for me to put myself in such a vulnerable position.
She says that she's only being careful as she had just gotten out of a year relationship with her ex 4 months ago, which is when we started our fwb relationship. We've been dating for three weeks.
Am I wrong to want this relationship so soon? | I wanna be exclusive, she doesn't yet. Does it make sense? |
t3_1rilzb | relationships | I [20 M]would like to take my friend [20/F] on an all expenses paid vacation but am worried it might come off the wrong way. | The title pretty much says it. The destination would be Vegas for just under a week to go to a music festival during the summer.
We went to the same festival last year separately and that's where we met. We've casually dated and hooked up but distance keeps us apart regularly. We both were already planning on going this year but separately. I'm not extremely wealthy but I have money and I wanted to surprise her and do something nice for her but am worried I might be giving off the wrong vibe.
How would you guys feel about something like this? Any advice? | I want to take a friend/semi-casual date to vegas for a music festival with all expenses paid. |
t3_4a6nid | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [23M] of six months dresses like a slob. | My boyfriend is a good looking guy, but unfortunately dresses horribly. I don't think I'm obsessed with appearance, but I can't pretend I'm not upset to see my boyfriend constantly wearing old and worn clothes, when he could look so much better just by getting a better wardrobe. It wouldn't be so bad if he only dressed like that at home, but we will go on dates with him still wearing faded graphic tees, sometimes with holes in them. He says that since most of the places we go aren't "fancy" that it's okay to dress like that. I don't see why he couldn't wear a decent button down shirt and nice jeans or khakis, instead of his same old tee shirts and cargo shorts. He has a good job, so I think he could buy new clothes if he wanted to, and I've even bought him some new things myself, which he never wears, including a casual blue button down with stripes. He told me he likes his old things because they are comfortable. I told him that if he wore the new clothes a few times, he would get used to them and they would be comfortable too, but he refused.
We got in a fight about this yesterday. I had been invited to a somewhat fancy party, and I invited him as my date. He didn't need to wear a full suit, but he did need a dress shirt. He told me he had a blue dress shirt that he could wear. I showed up to pick him up, only to find him wearing the blue button down I had given him. I told him that that shirt wasn't a dress shirt, and he argued with me that it had a collar and buttons, so it was a dress shirt. I asked to look in his closet to see if he had anything that would work, and he called me shallow! I told him it wasn't shallow to dress in line with the type of event we were going to, and he said that I was too obsessed with appearances. I ended up going to the party without him, since we were so irritated with each other.
Do you think I'm shallow for being bothered by this? Do you have any advice for how to make things right with him? | I'm upset at my boyfriend for dressing like a slob |
t3_3nstij | tifu | TIFU by using Waze.... | So I like to use Waze for directions as it is pretty decent at avoiding traffic. It also gives you tips such as "pot hole", "police ahead", and other social aggregated messages.
Anyways, recently I downloaded the "Jay Leno" voice. It gives you the regular warnings with some bonus messages such as "Traffic ahead. This would be a great time to look around and laugh at travelers in lesser cars than your own", and other comic ad libs.
So I was traveling back from an out of state golf game and I hit some traffic. An exit was closed for construction so I had to get off the highway. The construction crew was just setting up the detour signs so I had to stop. The officer had me stop; asked me where I needed to go and gave me some directions. Very nice, very professional. I was about to thank him and be on my way when Jay cut in.....
"Police reported ahead. Enjoy that donut pal".
I got a look of confusion, then he looked in my car to see if someone else was in there. I turned red; apologized and tried to explain this story to him. Apparently, he had not heard of Waze and I tried to explain that to him; and that you could get other voices such as Rob Gronkowski, Steve Colbert and others. Jay Leno has some voices and he makes some jokes. He looked a bit confused, maybe a bit pissed, and a bit perplexed. There were now a couple of cars behind me so he told me to have a good night and waved me on.
I suppose if I was driving while black it could have gone much worse. | Jay Leno made me look like as asshole to a pretty decent cop. |
t3_2dc6bx | tifu | TIFU by eating too much | First of all I'm an average man, I'm not skinny and I'm not fat. Like a lot of people I make smoothies sometimes for lunch, and I use frozen fruit for this. I had a tiny bit left of the 2 different bags I have, so I thought I might as well finish it since it probably wasn't even enough for another one.
When I make them I feel full, what I make is close to 1L, so this time I had about 1,3L, I felt full but had 1 glass worth of smoothie left, so I decided that I might as well finish it. I chugged it and then my stomach started to instantly hurt, so I ran to the bathroom and threw up. This is probably the biggest 1st world problem I've had in my life. (sorry this wasn't sex related) | I ate too much smoothie and threw up. |
t3_3fcdex | relationships | Good Friend [27 F] with her new BF [28 F] 3 months. I'm coming across his recently accessed profiles on dating sites!!! Please help with taking him down. | My good friend is a genuinely nice person and is dating someone who is using her. This has happened twice now with the same guy.
**FIRST TIME:**
While looking online to find someone for myself, I came across his profile, which showed that he had logged on 2 days ago. They'd been dating for 5 weeks at this point and had agreed to be monogamous. She deactivated her profile. He clearly did not.
I tell my friend, she talks to him, he comes up with "I received a lot of email notifications from it and just wanted to see why".
Lame excuse, but he says all the right things and she forgives him.
**SECOND TIME:**
This happened today. While on a different dating site (for myself), I see his profile. It says he was logged on yesterday. At this point, I'm trying to find a way to match with him and talk to him as if I'm interested. Then if he flirts back/makes plans for us to meet/doesn't say he's in a relationship, I show my friend. He does not know my face or name.
He's a very smooth talker and seems like a nice guy. I don't want her to fall for his lies again. ALSO, it's a health risk to her if he is sleeping with other people.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | My good friend's new BF is very likely a cheating scum bag. Please help. |
t3_4ftwe9 | tifu | TIFU by breaking an eagle statue at a flea market | So it's been several years back when i was in my early teens (I'm now 23) when my mom, younger sister and I were wasting time at this big outdoor flea market. There was this stand when you first walked in just full of junk, or what other people might call knick knacks. It was scattered everywhere and you were pretty much forced to walk through this booth to get anywhere else because their stuff was so scattered. Briefly looking through it, everything was priced at a few bucks, nothing interesting, so we continued on.
Fast forward a couple hours, we're on our way out and we have to walk through the same booth we can in at. Well as luck would have it, I accidentally knocked over this ridiculous 6 inch eagle statue and shattered it. We all just kind of stopped in our tracks, including the people running the booth, had this awkward pause, just staring at each other. You would thing it would be one of those things where it was a complete accident, they had so much junk already, I was just a kid and maybe they'd just brush it off and I'd apologize and life would go on, but this lady starts yelling quite loud, "Well!!?? Are you going to pay for it???". It was so embarassing and my mom of course was apologizing and saying she'll pay for it. This lady was making a scene over a little crappy eagle.
We didn't even look at the sticker on it, because it was shattered and we didn't really want to get anywhere near the rest of their maze of breakables so my mom asks how much she wanted for it. This lady looks at her husband or whomever he was and they give each other a deceiving smirk and she says $20. Are you kidding me!? My mom was livid. She handed her 20 bucks and said a few choice words knowing she had just gotten completely ripped off and she didn't speak for the rest of the two hour drive home.
9 years later and we still talk about that damn 20 dollar eagle. It's so funny now. My mom claims she should've at least picked up the broken pieces and took them with her. HA! | I broke a ceramic eagle at a flea market and the booth owners ripped her off and made her pay 20 dollars for it. |
t3_30rf0q | relationships | M[20] having a relationship crisis with SO F [20] | So me and my SO have been dating now for about two months. We work together and she said she has had a thing for me since August of 2014.
I've had feelings towards her since about November. We finally started dating and about 80% of the time it is the best. Absolute bliss. But our jobs and school keep us very busy. We end up staying up together sometimes until 5-6 am and then both feel like shit. We have had a few times were doing this has caused major stress at school for both parties.
It is also unsurprising that at these times, we have hit bumpy paths in our relationship. What do you think about this? How do we move forward, because I cannot say it enough, when times are good it is absolutely the best. We both have said we've never had so much to talk about with someone before. Stupid stuff that no one else would care about. She gets really concerned when she is not feeling like this tho, which she says happens occasionally, most frequently when we have caused ourselves to fall behind on work. | Time crunch is causing stress on my relationship. |
t3_4yt747 | personalfinance | College loans for living needs/ Trust rules and help | First i'd like to apologize because i know this place is mostly for people having actual financial trouble but it's all that i can think of to go for help.
Basically I start at a private college for chemistry in less than a week and while my tuition and whatnot can be dealt with through the college from scholarships and grants i want to take out loans for rent, food, a new labtop etc for the year but have no idea where a good place to go would be. I have a trust with a sizeable amount that should cover the loans but i'm unsure about how i can handle it. My trust officer or advisor or whatever he's called says that as long as i can give him a bill that lists the loan as education related either from the college or the bank he can send it through and i can get it payed off. So does that mean i can literally just go to a bank, get a loan for like 10k and regardless of it's interest just take it to my guy and get it payed off? I've asked him but no response yet. Where should i go for such a loan? Basically any advice about how to go about this will be helpful. | Need to take out loans for rent and other extra things during college, Have a trust to pay them off immediately. Need to make sure how to actually do that. |
t3_unelo | AskReddit | Two years ago, while fighting in Afghanistan, I hesitated on firing upon an armed enemy. Turns out he was teenager with a shovel in his hands. What hesitations in "the heat of the moment" are you forever grateful for? | Our platoon was assigned the role of a QRF (or quick reaction force) outside of Panjawaii, in the northwest of Kandahar. We were called out one day to investigate a site where one of our vehicles had been attacked with an 84mm recoiless rifle (luckily no one died). Our ANA ( Afghan national army) platoon seemed really sketched out, but I didn't have any clue that shit was going down. As we moved in closer to the village, our lead section came under small arms fire. We kept moving forward, in our vehicles, but it was obvious that we were being set up for an IED attack. While moving into the outskirts of the village, there was several loud cracks, and we dove into the hatches of our vehicle, I popped back out with one hand on my rifle, and the other pulling the medic up by his collar. 10 meters away, I could see the dust where someone had fired upon us. The crazy thing was that there were still civilians working in their field in front of us. I popped out of the vehicle and under cover, made my way to my officer. I was the radio operator, so I was always near him. Just as he was chatting on the radio, I saw a head bob up and down behind a mud wall with the stock of a rifle barely visible. I threw my sights on him and yelled "He's got a gun!" Both my officer and the Sgt. next to him grabbed my shoulder and screamed at me to shoot. I don't know what happened, but I just couldn't. I'm so glad I didn't. A few seconds later, and a boy walks out behind the wall with a shovel in his hand. If I had fired, there's a good chance I would have missed, but one of my best friends was up in the vehicle with a 25mm cannon, and would have surely opened up if I had fired (he told me after). Things aren't easy trying to live through some of the shit that happened over there, but I'm so happy that I hesitated. | Got bumped, hesitated, didn't shoot a kid. Awesome. |
t3_4os06w | relationships | Me [26F] with my BF [28M] Three Years, I'm starting to fantasize about cheating on him. | We've been together for three years now. Obviously I've fantasized about other men, but my partner has never been part of the equation. But now the fantasies have twisted into being in my own home, while he's at work, and often about people I know. He took a new job a few months ago and lately hasn't been getting home until after I'm already asleep.
I don't blame him nor do I take his lack of libido personally. But I've been feeling trapped. These fantasies are freaking me out and I hate how much I enjoy them. I don't foresee myself doing anything about it. But it used to be the very thought of cheating on him nauseated me. Now it arouses me? What the hell is that about? | I'd never do it, but lately I fantasize about cheating on my now very absent BF. Anyone else have cheating-specific fantasies? |
t3_1imp8g | relationships | I (22F) don't want to hate my boyfriend's (24M) ex, but he's making it really hard. | I'm 22F, my boyfriend is 24M, we've been together for 2 years. He has an ex-girlfriend (I'll call her Kate) that is currently dating one of his best friends (Dave). They were all friends in high school.
My boyfriend and his friends (Dave and Kate included) were/still are major partiers. He's told me stories about drugs of all sorts, threesomes, and other stuff that kind of worries me. I've partied a little bit in my time, but I'm just more of a chill person in general. I was never really suspicious of my boyfriend's feelings about Kate until I noticed that any time he messaged her, he would always say he loves her. I didn't think too much of it at first as they are friends.
But then, a few months ago, there was one night where me and my boyfriend were out for supper. He got drunk and decided he wanted to go to a friend's house after, and Kate would be there. She would be with Dave, but honestly, my boyfriend has told me stories about him and his friends having group sexual experiences so even though Kate is dating Dave, I worry that they'd all get drunk and coked out and do something. Anyway, my boyfriend drunkenly decided that he was just going to leave me at the restaurant and I wasn't allowed to come to this person's house. I found it weird because it was the first time he'd ever said something like that, and I was a bit worried because Kate would be there.
The reason that I think my boyfriend might do something like that is because I overheard him talking to one of his friends not long ago, and my boyfriend brought up some party where Kate stripped, and he said she has the "perfect tits".
I really don't want to say that I never want to go around my boyfriend's best friend because I'm worried about my boyfriend and Kate... but that's basically the case. I'd like to get over it, but thinking about the situation just gives me anxiety. I have no clue what to do about this. | My boyfriend's best friend is dating my boyfriend's ex-gf. I don't want to avoid social situations because I'm afraid my boyfriend fancies his ex, but, I do. I want to get over it but don't know how. |
t3_14240q | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most pain you have ever felt. | Two stories, different pain.
Several years ago I had to have surgery to fuse vertebrate L5 S1. During the surgery the surgeon unknowingly nicked the sac surrounding my spinal cord. Spinal fluid is clear and as such was unseen as they finished up surgery.
As is customary I spent a few days in the hospital recovering. During that stay different doctors were in and out getting me up and moving. Prior to each visit I would use the PCA device to pump as much morphine in as it would allow. Doing this made my therapy and walks much easier and besides, who doesn't like morphine. The problem with this is that the drugs were masking the issue of the spinal fluid leaking out of the sac. After 3 days I was sent home and without the aid of the PCA pump and drugs the pain of what was happening slowly started to become apparent.
This surgery required that I stay either laying down or standing, I was only allowed to sit for 30 min a day. Laying does was not an issue, standing up on the other hand was awful. If you know anything about spinal fluid it serves as a hydraulic support for your brain when standing. If you are leaking fluid that support is no longer there and your brain starts to rest on the back of your skull when you stand up. I cannot begin to describe the instant pain/headache that occurred every time I stood up. It was so bad that I would nearly black out. Longer story short, we called the hospital and were told we needed to come in immediately to have a blood patch done.
Getting to the car was excruciating. When we arrived at the hospital I was wheeled into a surgery room where I was informed how/what a blood patch entails. For those that don't know, a blood patch involves taking blood from your arm and injecting it via a 4 inch needle into your spinal column. They injected this through the recently closed incision. That nearly hurt as bad as the headaches. 20 min later I walked out of the hospital with no headaches and feeling great..
2nd story..
Took a 9mm to the kneecap... That hurt | had surgery on spine, spinal fluid leaked/ headaches ensued, needle in spine. Was shot thru the kneecap |
t3_15o0p7 | relationships | [M31] Caught wife[F33] attempting drunken email cheating invitation... trust shattered | So...Married 2 years, together 6, no kids... wife and I have had some issues in the bedroom past few months (probably due to my drop in libido... i'm not without blame here). Overall I've never really had reason to not trust her since I've known her.. and we've been pretty much attached at the hip for the past 2 years (travelling together 24/7/365) so I know nothing has happened in that time.... but she's been really bummed about being back home and got really drunk and angry with me a couple nights ago. In her drunken stupor she emailed an old ex inviting him to "meet up" for "coffee" "wink wink".... now nothing has physically happened at this point except for the shattering of trust... how do we recover from this and how can I learn to trust her again? Has anyone been through anything similar and can offer advice? | wife hasn't cheated yet, just shattered trust by drunken emailing and old ex who she hasn't had contact with for years--need advice |
t3_1a6uqi | relationship_advice | How do I[17/m] stop taking everything my girlfriend [15/f] says seriously? | I'm extremely sensitive and emotional and analyze every little thing she says and does. She sometimes makes little jokes that after a while of thinking and analyzing makes me get all upset and depressed for a day or 2 until I tell her what's wrong and she apologizes for saying whatever it was that made me upset. Overall though, I just overreact to everything and am insecure. I know I'll end up driving her away if keep this up. It seems to happen every chance my brain gets to decide something can be warped into something depressing like she doesn't love me anymore or etc. One time I even took about 30 minutes going from a really happy mood, with resistance from that mood, to go to a depressed mood over some little comment or joke. I can't remember what it was at this point, but I overreacted. I know she loves me very much, and tells me this often. There's no reason for my overreacting and insecurity. How do I stop? | I overreact to everything my gf does that can be construed to be negative and become depressed. How do I stop? |
t3_4lve2u | relationships | My close friend [27F] is extremely hurt and offended that I [29F] only want one bridesmaid for my wedding. | I'm getting married in a few months, and I've decided that I only want one bridesmaid: my younger sister [17F] as the maid of honour (like Kate Middleton's wedding). My fiance also chose his cousin as the best man and the only groomsman. I don't see the point of having large amounts of bridesmaids (seriously, some weddings have upwards of 10) and I was afraid that the whole selection process would hurt people's feelings.
So I thought that having my sister as the only bridesmaid was a good choice, and that nobody would feel offended/left out because of it. Well, I was wrong. One of my close friends, Gemma, is very upset that I didn't choose her to be a bridesmaid. She told me tearfully, "I thought we were close, *blushing bride*. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid at your wedding." I might add that I was a bridesmaid at HER wedding a year ago.
Gemma is a bit emotional so she cries easily, but still I felt super bad. After the talk, she hasn't called me or contacted me since. I've tried texting her, but to no response. I'm talking to my other friends and they tell me that Gemma is really hung up over it.
I have no idea what to do at this point. I have no intention of changing the wedding structure just to placate her, but I still feel rather guilty. Perhaps I am being callous for not including my friends in the bridal party? Regardless, how can I let Gemma and my other friends be a special part of the wedding without making them actual bridesmaids? | I only want one bridesmaid in my wedding. My close friend is extremely upset and offended over this. |
t3_j3ix2 | AskReddit | What would be the most ridiculous way for the World Series to end? (xpost from r/baseball) | Ok, so my friends and I have been sending emails back and forth, trying to figure out what would be the single most ridiculous way for the World Series to end. One of my friends has suggested a straight steal of home. Bottom 9th, 2 outs, tie game, etc etc, and the runner steals home, ending the game. However, another one of my friends may have taken the cake. His suggestion:
>Home team is down 1 run. There's a runner on third. Outs aren't critical, but to make the following chain events that much more insane, let's say there are two. Batter hits a ball to the gap. It's pretty lightly hit, one of those that only a speedster could turn into a double. Batter touches first base, runner ties the tying run. At this moment, the batter rounds first into fair territory, and runs home. Completely ignores 2nd and 3rd; doesn't even make an attempt. Touches home plate, "winning the game" pending on appeal.
>Now here's where it gets really crazy. Away team botches appeal (balk, pitcher messes up process, etc. -- it's actually really booby trapped procedurally for such a rare play). Boom. Game over. Batter hits a 220 foot HR and only runs 180 feet. The only person who knows how/why the game ends is the umpire. The batter (likely A.J. Pierzynski, who are we kidding) is guffawing in his own euphoria. The field devolves into chaos, some celebrating, some arguing, some skulls imploding due to the sheer ridiculousness. Even Joe Buck has a slight tinge of emotion as he tries to explain what's happened. Long story short, game over. Baseball Tonight never has a crazier story until John Kruk dies choking on celery.
So what do you think? Can anyone thing up a more ridiculous way for the World Series to end? Ideally, I think it should be within the confines of the game and its rules (as opposed to the Series ending because aliens nuked the United States or whatever), but I leave that up to your creativity. | What's the craziest way you can imagine for the World Series to end? |
t3_2nfenb | tifu | TIFU by having an anxiety attack | So I have been recently been dealing with anxiety issues, gets really bad sometimes. But my wife has been 100% supportive. Today I got to about a 5 or 6 out of ten and needed to bail on work about 15 minutes early. Decided to treat myself to a redbox game for a few days while my BIL is in town. So I get home and put the game in and grab my meds. In the process I take out my hraring aides and put them on a speaker that is elevated. I game and let the meds kick in. All is well.
Then comes dinner, oh it goes well. We are laughing and having a good time. My SIL goes downstairs and then comes up stone faced. I think something has happened to her dog. My wife tells me to come upstairs. I follow expecting to find out her dog died in our basement.
Turns out he ate my one of my hearing aide. Now given it wasn't in the box I got with them, but I felt that it was safe where it was. Currently waiting to hear back whether I am out 200, 100 or 2000 dollars.
The icing. The dog then puked on our carpet. | Had anixity attack, put hearing aides on elevated speaker, sil dog ate them thn puked on our carpet. |
t3_3fgx81 | relationships | I [27 M] have mixed feelings about my gf [23F] of a couple months. But this is my first real relationship. I dont know if what Im experiencing is normal. | I just don't feel happy.
She has been incredibly affectionate to me throughout the whole thing. Sensitive to my insecurities, initiating PDA, always trying to keep contact with me multiple times throughout the day, open with me about things going on her life.
But there are things that have been bothering me. Our conversations have become awkward, it never feels smooth and free flowing. She likes to drink and hang out with friends and do wild things like skinny dip at the beach and take plane trips to music concerts, while I like to watch documentaries on my lap top. Shes going to grad school in the fall and I'm unemployed (although I've tried very hard to find a job).
Does any of that stuff matter. Is it important in a relationship to be at similar stages in your life and have similar weekend milieus?
Sometimes I think I'd be happier just being alone, but Ive been alone for most of my life and that wasn't fun either. | Girlfriend is affectionate to me, but I cant seem to enjoy or appreciate it. I feel too awkward in this relationship. |
t3_49vwh6 | relationships | How can I[23F] get my husband[33M] of 3 years to fall in love with me? | It was arranged. I'm not attractive so I didn't have any marriage prospects really and this is his second marriage(ex cheated) so he wasn't at the top of anyone's list either.
Over past three years we've become best friends, he works from home and I'm a housewife so we spend tons of time together. We go everywhere together(grocery shopping, the beach, etc.).
But I don't think he loves me. He's ex wife was pretty and I'm not, I'm too tall and too dark.
I just want him to be as head over heels for me as I am for him.
Any tips? | Arranged marriage, we're best friends but I'm not pretty and I don't think he actually loves me. |
t3_37z5bh | tifu | TIFU by making my job rain wine. | Some could say that this is not quite as much of a FU than it is a win, but I was pretty pissed and it was a pretty expensive mistake so FU on my end.
I work at a country club in the south and last night was setting up a full bar for a baby shower. It's important to say that it's an older building in dire need of renovation. Well while gathering my supplies I had put down a case of wine on a table. The table breaks, 3 bottles shatter all over the floor. I'm like fuck there goes my paycheck. Im trying to hide it from my boss I get it all cleaned up so quickly, and I'm mopping up the evidence, a golfer runs up to our bar and says, "uh ummm uh I don't know who to tell, I'm outside sitting on the patio and it's leaking wine from the walls uh we might wanna fix that" while I'm like fuck in disbelief what are you talking about I see this crack in the baseboards.... The wine was leaking through the foundation literally between the baseboards of the building onto the bottom floor underneath the bar. | pours drinks for a living, made it rain wine like I was Jesus. |
t3_3emkqg | relationships | My [21F] dad [47M]had caught me a lot of stuff and he asked me to write down how I'm going to prevent things like this in the future. | My parents (50F, 47M) had caught me a lot of stuff in the past few years. (I have to admit they're extremely religious and very strict).
1. They found out I was smoking in 2012. They gave a cancer speak, but they told me just not to do it at home, and not to buy cigarettes with their own money (but caught me smoking in the house several times)
2. Last summer (2014) they found weed in my room. Right now I'm laughing about this. I don't remember exactly what they did to me, but my mom called me a drug addict.
3. Last April, my mom found I had sex with my now ex-boyfriend when we were together. (Long story how) (Did I mention my parents are super religious?) They asked me if I was a virgin and I said yes, multiple times. But later, my mom found my "diary" so it confirmed everything.
4. Last month, I went to a party, but my parents picked me up. When we were in the car, I vomited all over myself (yeah, I was drunk). They got extremely mad with me. They grounded me like 1 week without computer and almost a month without cellphone.
As my old cellphone is literally, very old, they gave me a new one (they were planning to do this like 2-3 months ago) with one condition: I have to write down things I'm going to that will prevent me getting ideas from the internet to behave this way.
I literally have no idea what to write down. (Like.. stop communicating with bad influence?) So, can you help me out? | My parents have caught me smoking, drinking, weed, sex, etc. After all of these, and after being grounded, they gave me a new cellphone with one condition: to write down how I am going to avoid "getting" ideas of how to "misbehave". Can you help me? |
t3_12qd57 | personalfinance | Refinance - any room for negotiation on rate, given a quote, followed by a lower quote after finding a slightly lower credit score? | So - I pulled my credit over the summer and it was in the mid 700s. That was for buying (leasing) a new car.
Knowing I had that mid-700s score, I looked at a refi. I picked a lender from Bankrate.com. They quoted me 2.75 and about $300 closing costs (points), assuming a 740 score. After the credit pull, I came in at 719, and the rate went up, to 2.75% requiring about $2300 in costs, or 2.875% with $600 closing costs.
Going back to bankrate today, I can search and find 2.75, no points, and $0 costs even with putting in a 700-720 score range.
Do I: Negotiate with the person that has already invested in the pull, either eat the $13/month and higher rate if I lose the negotiation battle,
OR
Bail out and go to another lender, and get a second inquiry, but go for their lower rate?
Is this purely an underwriting thing? Help me out if you have some good solid advice here.
(I'm very grateful for all the knowledge gained here...) | first quote was great, but the quote after the credit pull was not as competitive, should I eat it and have a double pull going to another lender, or just get over it? |
t3_4khhl0 | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [24M] of 3 years might break up with me bc we don't have enough sex | He says he loves me, and he's always been the perfect boyfriend. I love him more than anything, but I admit that with working full time, going to school full time, and applying to pharmacy school, I haven't been the best girlfriend.
He says that things will feel forced and awkward now that he's said something about it and believes we won't be able to go back to how we once were, but I am willing to work on it if he is, but he just keeps saying he doesn't know what he wants. He's breaking my heart in the process.. | Did I make him fall out of love with me? Do we need to just call it quits? Can you get someone to fall back in love with you? |
t3_2lg63j | legaladvice | Im 20, being charged under penal code 261.5b for javing sex with a 16yo when I was 19. | EDIT: im located in OC, california.
So after being desperate and wanting to lose virginity, I went on a website called Meetme to see if I could fibd a gf. I didn't, but what I did find was a girl that said she was looking for sex on her profile. Her profile said she was 18, so I messaged her. After a while of talking to her, I found out she was 17 almost 18. I told her I don't think we should do anything, but she persisted. After a week of not talking to her, I messaged her again saying ok let's do this. She told me to pick me up near her house. We drove somewhere secluded (in the middle of the day) and had sex (penetration and her giving oral.) A month after that I get a call from a detective, so I drive to the police station and get questioned. Apparently, she was 16 a month away from 17, and is accusing me of punching her and raping her. I told the detective everything and didn't hear anything about the case until 2 months ago. I was to appear in court for a complaint under 265.1b. I appeared in court and when the judge asked for the reason why im here, she said "for having sex with a 15 year old and punching her when she not perform oral" The judge silenced the DA and had her approach her to talk. The judge told her that that isn't the reason for the court appearance and she knows that. After a while my lawyer told me I didnt have to worry about bail because I was released on OR. My lawyer pleaded not guilty and the judged gave the 2 dates for my pretrial and trial. What I'm worried about is how likely is it that I will go to jail? I just moved out of my parents place and got an amazing job. I don't want to lose any of that and I want to protect my future. I was a virgin at the time, and I guess I'm very stupid and unlucky. I know that the possible penalties are probation, a fine, or jail tine, and I really want to know my chances. I've been freaking out and losing sleep everyday. | Girl lied about me raping her, but I'm still being charged for statutory raoe, want to know how likely it is to avoid jail time. |
t3_3gvbgu | needadvice | Looking into a degree in Digital Marketing. Is it a good career path? | When I graduated high school I went to a community college to study CIS (Computer Information Systems). Everything was going well until I hit a wall and ended up flunking a programming class multiple times. After failing I decided to just call it quits and went out and found myself an IT related job.
It's been about a year now since I started my job and stopped attending college. This job isn't awful, but I'm planning to move to a more city-like town with my girlfriend within the next year or two and I'm worried I won't make it without a degree or type of certificate under my belt.
I found a community college in the town where we plan to move to who offers Digital Marking and actually states the entire program can be completed online. I figured since I already have some CIS class credits I could put them towards this degree and work on getting my degree both before I move online and when I do in class.
I'm just worried that this degree may not be a huge money maker. Does anyone have any input as to where I can go or what I can do with this degree? | What can I do with a Digital Marketing degree? |
t3_118pkw | AskReddit | I don't find sex appealing as simply being with a girl, how did you find that girl you wanted to settle with and when? Is college to early for me to be looking for a long relationship? | I want to share a bed with another girl, just knowing she's there. I want to take long walks along a beach with that girl. I want to get into a relationship not centered on sex or partying; I want a calm, trusting relationship, that may someday lead to being together for a long time.
And here I am in college, and as a freshman, it feels as though that girls are not looking for those romantic relationships. And it's really weird to me; I lived my whole life with this idea that looking for one-night-stands and casual hook ups was only a thing a douchebag will do, and that's exactly what I don't want.
People say, "you are too nice", "you are being friendzoned" or "you are such a gentleman", and I am those things because through out my life it only seemed logical that a girl would want those qualities. (And subsequently, my dream girl would share those qualities) But now I find, that when I get intimate with girls, and I express those values, they seem turned off, and they slowly but surely lose interest in me.
It's not that I am shy with girls. To be honest, I really do think I am one of the more smooth guys out there. I am funny, I feel good about everything about myself; it's just I find the people around me, in a weird way, "immature".
I want to be in a classy, mature, relationship with a girl. And I'm sure there are others out there who have found that in their lives at around my age. How did you go about that? | Is there hope for a "Ted Mosby" in college? |
t3_1a4scj | tifu | TIFU by playing words with friends | (took place Last week)
I went over to the suite of my good friend/occasional hookup partner to pick up a book i had lent her. She wasn't there and I REALLY had to shit so I used the bathroom in her suite. Naturally I played a few turns in Words With Friends while I pooped.
I stood up to wipe and put my phone on the toilet paper dispenser when someone played their turn, causing my phone to vibrate and promptly fall into the toilet.
I quickly rescued my phone from the shitwater and immediately opened it up to see if i could rescue it. I then ran into her room and panickedly threw the pieces of the phone on the first flat surface I could find, which happened to be her bed. She had returned while I was shitting, and I was only halfway through my explanation when she realized that shitwater (I can confirm that this phone smelled fucking foul) was staining her bed, whereupon she kicked me in the balls, pushed me out of the room, and locked the door. And that's the story of how I found out she was extremely germaphobic. | I drowned my phone in shitwater and threw it on a poor girl's bed. |
t3_2kmfsc | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] almost 2 years, don't know if this behavior is acceptable | Okay I'm going to try and only tell the essential information. I'm 19 years old, have been dating this girl 18 years old for almost 2 years.
For some time now this has been happening. She goes out with her friends and I don't say anything let her do her thing / no questions asked, she's my girlfriend not a prisoner. If I try to do anything while she might happen to be free without her she gets pissed off and goes off on me.
In addition to this, she doesn't have an open mind really. I watch whatever she wants with her for the entirety of our relationship and admittedly enjoy a majority of it so no complaints there but whenever I suggest we do something I personally like she says it's stupid and we should do something we both agree upon.
Lastly she's very bad at communicating, I try to express how I feel like I've been being treated unfairly, she either dismisses me or apologizes and promises to be better. Other times when I am busy she tries to text me and gets mad if i don't answer right away like at work for example.
This cycle continues nothing ever changes. Personally I don't believe it's unreasonable to want her to give some of the things I like a try or to treat me the same way i treat her. She admits she isn't this way with her friends but I don't see her trying to be any better for me.
Sometimes I feel like a prisoner because I let her do whatever she wants but when I want to go do something on my own or with friends instead of seeing her it is a problem. I love her good side very deeply. And I just don't know if there is something I am doing wrong or if it's her or both. | Girlfriend shows unfair behaviors in my opinion, not sure if its her, me, or both of us. But I'm pretty sure she might abuse how forgiving I am. |
t3_1egse0 | self | Last night I got the courage after almost 10 years from leaving an emotional/psychically abusive relationship to call him out on it. He FINALLY admitted it. | I have been reading this [book] and there is a section on emotions. How when you hold them in, something can happen to trigger it, and usually one will repress the memory again, until something comes along again to trigger an old feeling. It discusses how when you open the door to the pain, and suppress it, it will never truly go away. I have been doing this for YEARS with the unthinkable abuse my ex put on me. Stealing money from me, breaking my ribs, making me sell my beloved horses, him becoming a coke addict (I could go on and on).
Anyways, for years I suppressed the sheer hell he put me through for all those years. I finally decided to open the door, and come to resolution so once I shut, it would never be open again. I called him, and said we need to resolve this once and for all. I called him out on everything. He admitted his wrongs, and even stop blaming my broken ribs on my horse, and admitted he himself had done it while high on coke. He said he had caused me so much hurt, the least he could do was finally apologize. I can't even tell you how much pain has been lifted from my soul. It is one of the most courageous things I have ever done, and I am so proud of myself. | Finally got the balls to call about my emotionally/psychically abusive ex on the hell he put me through (as he has denied it for years). He FINALLY apologized for all the hell and pain he put me through and said he hoped I could peace in my soul now. |
t3_3lqp80 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my Latin Lover [35 M]. Was it a one night stand? | I just recently separated from my husband - pending divorce. I also recently lost a bit of weight and I've gotten much more confident about myself. I created an online dating profile just to see what was out there. I really had no intention of speaking to/meeting anyone.
A guy messaged me that was really good looking and really well spoken. We talked for a week for hours a day. We talked about life, exs, sex, our jobs, ambitions. Our conversations flowed really easily and we never got bored. He made me feel wanted and sexy for the first time in 5 years (part of the reason my husband and I split).
We decided to meet up on Friday night. I was super nervous and excited. We had a GREAT date. We got dinner and walked the beach at night. We also had a great make-out session on the beach. This is where I think I messed up. I was caught up in the moment and we ended up back at my place. This got pretty hot and heavy and we had sex. I've never slept with anyone on the first date, heck - the last time I dated I was 17. It was amazing until he left and the guilt set in.
He texted me this next morning but things seemed slightly off. There was very little playful banter from the weeks prior. I haven't heard from him today (2 days later), albeit, he is traveling.
I'm really interested in this guy and I think I fucked up by sleeping with him. Is there anyway to talk to him about it without seeming crazy???
I tend to over-think everything and I just need some other opinions! | First date, had sex. Lost the playful connection we had before our date. Should I just give up? |
t3_3ax7zx | relationships | I [20, M] am having a hard time disregarding my girlfriend's past [19, F], despite having a promiscuous streak of my own | My girlfriend and I have been together for about three months. I'd like to preface this by saying I am not justifying my feelings, but rather I'm trying to explain them as best that I can.
I have always been the type of guy to have fun, and not let anything get too serious. But one day, at a social event, I met a girl who I thought was absolutely wonderful. We spent hours talking, laughing, having fun, which came to summation in her spending the night.
I have, up until this point, had quite a few open relationships strung together. In fact, the night I met her, I had been with a different girl the night before. I do not know my number, although I do not drink much and have never been truly drunk, so all of the relationships I have had in the past were not because of 'drunken hookups' but rather girls I did not find suitable for a relationship.
My girlfriend had a long term boyfriend she broke up with at the beginning of the year. She said she had a few 'mistakes' between then and the time we met. She has never told me her number.
Now, I'm falling for her more so then I had ever fallen for a girl before. But the thought of her being with another guy, or more, makes me question if I can date her.
I know this is totally unfair, as I am certain I have had far more partners/relationships then she has. However I cannot shake this feeling of uneasiness, and I don't know what to do.
(Also. I told her I loved her, which was risky as I had never before said that. She said she felt the same way, "I love you too", and even said it first once. But I felt a bit of hesitation when she said it, which also makes me nervous.) | I'm struggling with the fact my girlfriend has been with other people, even though I have as well. |
t3_i4hy0 | AskReddit | Have you ever created a joke that became widely known? | I'll start.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. When I was 8 or so I came up with a joke, told my friends and it quickly became popular in my school. Fast forward 3 years and I had since moved to Arkansas. I was eating lunch with some of my classmates and one of them told the joke I came up with! I told him that I came up with the joke a few years earlier at my old school. He called me a liar and nobody believed me.
I always hated that kid.
Here's the joke (or some variant of it, I can't remember the original) and warning: it's lame.
Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?" He answered, "Shut Up." He asked again "What's your name?" He answered, "Shut Up." The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!" "Yeah" | I created a joke when I was 8 that I heard from a classmate a few years later in a neighboring state. |
t3_4ihnc8 | relationship_advice | I [20/m] Do not know If I should Make a Move on my Study Buddy (21/f). | This is a long post but I am trying to provide enough background so you know the exact position I am in.
To start this off relationships are not my area of expertise. I am 20 years old and never had kissed a girl or had a girl friend. I am not socially awkward or anything like that but when it comes to relationships I have nothing.
So this ending spring semester at College I had met this amazingly smart and beautiful girl. We got introduced by mutual friends in the major. We talk almost if not everyday. Whether she calls me or I call her. Although we do talk a lot about schoolwork and stuff but we both talk about our personal/social lives too. Do not know how much this comes into play but since I am more of an early person I usually call her in the morning and wake her for class. (She isn't a morning person)
I have met a descent chunk of her friend group. Although it had been for studying purposes 80% of the time but we still talked had fun. I think I had made a good impression with them. I had went to one of her friends houses and hung out there for 3-4 hours and just chilled out. (Never had I made a move or anything). So it is not just strictly at my college I am with her friends.
Something important to note is she laughs at my terrible dad jokes. Although to be fair she likes to laugh a lot. Overall I am stuck on what to do at this point. I want to ask her out although I am nervous for the outcome. Especially since we have a summer class together and another class together next semester. I also know the saying "It's not awkward unless you make it awkward".
I have hung out with her few times outside of campus. We are both very busy throughout the semester between work and studying so we cant really do anything fun. This is why I want to make a move or something before the academic summer starts.
Any help would be appreciated! | Met a girl in class at college. Hang out all the time but do not know if she sees me the same way. |
t3_2sqlkh | Advice | Do I dedicate myself to something I'm passionate about, or to something that could make a difference? | Bit of background - I'm 15 years old and in my freshman year of high school. I've been told repeatedly that this is the year when I need to decide what I'm doing with my life.
Right now I've told everybody that I'm going to do well academically and try for a doctorate in medicine. This is something I enjoy learning about and is something that I can comprehend well - something that if I pursue it, I know I can do well at it.
The problem is that, while I enjoy it, I'm not passionate about it. My real passion lies in music (how original, I know) and music is something I've been doing my entire life.
This isn't a textbook case of oh-my-parents-want-me-to-be-a-doctor, because I'm not worried about disappointing them. I'm more worried about disappointing myself. I feel like there aren't enough people in the world who spend their lives doing something that could make a difference in the world.
I feel like pursuing medicine could lead to me making a difference and saving people's lives, but I know that doing it won't truly fulfill my passion in music. On the other hand, pursuing music would be fun and something I love, but I wouldn't really make a difference in the world.
Any advice, Reddit? | Should I pursue medicine and become a doctor, but not fulfill my passion in music - or should I pursue music and not make a huge difference in the world? |
t3_ldc7k | self | I'm sick of letting my acne control me and my actions | Backstory: 19 sophomore at college male. I've had mild to moderate acne for about 4 years now. I was completely clear the summer and September of 2010. Then, once at college, I had a massive breakout. Since then, my acne has been back in full force, and with it, all my insecurities and lack of self-confidence. Just this week I thought it was getting better, but then yesterday of course, I had another break out. Nothing too bad, but enough to deter me from going to a party I've been looking forward to. Instead, I stayed in and played video games :/
(FYI I am on antibiotics and topical medication)
I'm so mad at myself. I've been really good at not letting my acne get the best of me by telling myself how temporary it is, how short life is, and how it's all about confidence and personality and NOT about how you look. Still, it's so easy for me to just slip into a "I'm hideous and helpless" attitude and instantly ruin my day. Yesterday, my friend invited me to a party of his for tonight and I just know that I'm going to start criticizing the status of my face and end up not going. Shit, I'm so sick of worrying about it. I'm an extremely carefree person, but this is the one thing that always gets me. I have good days and bad days; this was a bad one. | Reddit, I don't know what to do. When my acne flares up, I get so anxious, nervous, and frustrated that it prevents me from being social even with my good friends, puts me in a bad/sad mood, and just makes my life difficult. How do I crush this mindset? |
t3_3baiac | relationships | I [22M] am greatly infatuated with [22F] I won't see for another two months. Attractive women want to sleep with me and I have no desire or interest, am I being stupid? | Long story short, we both attend college in Boston. I'm moved around the East Coast my entire life, and she's from the West Coast (Oregon). We meet through mutual friends, hit it off really well. All her friends really like me and the day before she leaves to go back to Oregon for the rest of summer, we make out and get all cute and cuddly.
I go to NY to visit a friend for two weeks, and come back feeling a lot more confident/attractive. I notice women are showing me more attention than before, probably because of the new confidence I exude. Some girls who I am friends with have dropped very, very blatant "hints" that they want to sleep with me. One of them who had never mentioned anything sexual to me before brought up how she was dissatisfied with her sex life and wanted to "try something new", another girl kept dropping hints at how she was so bored over the summer with so much spare time and kept trying to invite herself over to my apartment. A lot of them probably don't even know about this girl, so I don't think it's the whole "he's taken" complex. I'm a lean/skinny guy, don't work out too often, but I've been told I'm decently attractive.
In the past I could usually get laid if I tried during some weeks but I've never received this much attention from women before in my life. The thing is, now that I have all this newfound attention from women, I am not interested at all. I just keep thinking about this girl. I'm infatuated as hell, and I know it. I'm busy most of the time but when I'm not reading or working or out spending time with friends I think about her constantly. While we're not anything official or exclusive, neither of us are sleeping with anyone else, I suppose just because we're not the type to frequently have casual sex. I'm not sure if I'm passing up a great opportunity or if I'm just being naive or some combination. | Super infatuated with a girl, we make out right before she has to leave. When I come back from being out of state, girls start showing a ton of interest me, but I'm not interested in sleeping with them. Not sure if I'm being stupid or making the right decision. |
t3_2xkxlq | tifu | TIFU by trying to go to the bathroom | Since someone posted a tifu in China, it made me think of this. This didn't happen today, but over the summer when I took a trip to China.
So China has, what I call, "squatty potties," basically a hole in the ground where you pee and poop. I live in the US, so I'm used to western toilets, and find their toilets weird and discusting.
Anyway so I'm at a restaurant on a tour, and I go to the bathroom and I see there is one western toilet and 4 "squatty potties." For some reason the western toilet stall is locked. Now, I went to a squatty potty at the tanimen square and I got pee on my shoes, and it wasn't my pee. So I was desperate for this western toilet. So I look at the ground, and decide it looks relatively clean enough to crawl under. So I start to squat down and as I get in a crawling position, some lady around the age of 70-80 I assume comes out of some corner and starts hitting me yelling something like "QUAILO QUAILO QUAILO QUAILO." I don't speak Chinese so I was like wtf why is she hitting me and yelling things. So I decide to leave, I later asked my tour guide what that meant.
The toilet was broken. I know I probably should have figured that...but I really needed to pee. | went to use a toilet stall that was locked, and got hit very hard multiple times by some 70-80 year old lady yelling at me |
t3_kzzoj | AskReddit | Girls on Facebook who call themselves ''site models'' Has anyone else on Reddit encountered this? | I googled to see what the hell a site model actually is
A site model is a teenager who takes a few photos of themselves (usually holding the camera at arms length).
They then post the images on their Myspace or Photobucket account and say they are a "site model".. Even
though their images appear on no other sites and they receive no money whatsoever.
A real model is hired by a company, shot by a professional photographer, and then paid for their work.
A site model is somebody who thinks they look pretty and who's images go no further than their own sad website. | A site model is an underage attention seeker**** |
t3_ui6ed | AskReddit | What's your best story about when you held back your anger and it actually made things work out better? | Rewind back to Thursday night. My girlfriend is at her house, and I ride past in the passenger seat of my friends car. (I live a few houses down from her) I see that she's outside, and her ex is there. She's got a long history of him harassing her and just bothering her to try to make her feel bad. I had been drinking at a bar with a few buddies from Afghanistan, so I really didn't want to have to deal with this. I texted her for a little while and asked her what I should do for her, what she thought, and so on. She suggested that I come remove him forcefully. I had my friend walk with me up there, and instead of becoming hostile, I told him that if he did not leave her property within a minute, I would be performing a citizens arrest for Harassment, Stalking (He parked near her house, and when she came out, he pulled in), Verbal assault, and Trespassing on Posted Property. He stood up, and while walking to the car, I told him she did not want him to come back, and if he did, he would be arrested. Luckily my father is the local Police Chief so he knows I'm serious. He hasn't even tried to contact her since. I guess the point of the story is that you should only fight if you seriously have to. | G/F's ex was harassing her. Made him leave fairly politely instead of fighting him. Worked out perfectly. |
t3_4mnb82 | relationship_advice | [M/20] My fiance [F/20] maintains contact with someone who has strong feelings for her even though Im not comfortable with it. | Hello everyone. Over the last few months, my fiance became friends with someone who she has told me has confessed his feelings for her multiple times. Shes been very honest with me about it by telling me what hes said and that shes made it very clear that shes engaged. She told him that she wasnt comfortable being friends with him if he continues to do this as well.
Shes asked me how I feel about it and I told her that I wasnt comfortable with it. It isnt that I dont trust her because I do, its that I dont think he will stop trying to make his move or whatever. I told her that I wasnt going to tell her not to talk to him because I dont want to come off as controlling like that. She also told me shes been trying to talk to him less and less but she still does anyways. | Fiance talks to someone who loves her. I dont know whether to tell her to stop or not. |
t3_17nbu9 | relationship_advice | I (24/M) not sure what is going on with a friend (23/F) who I fancy. | Back story: I have this friend who I've known for a few years we get along well she is nerdy/quirky and smart, which I like. I found her on a dating website and we've been friends since (nothing romantic) because she lives a couple hours from me. We've never met in person.
Just to last June when our friendship started to turn into a romance for each other or so I thought, of course I jumped right into talking about the usual stuff like marriage, kids, and lives together... I realize that was a good idea not. Around the time she started back in school for the fall She got busy with school/work which is fine I did over message her and such, but I mellowed out on the grounds that she became annoyed.
Jump to October when a guy friend was supposed to visit her from a neighboring city which I found out got her kicked out of her house for having a guy in the house without permission from the 'rents. That story goes; he came to the house early in the am showered, and walked out of the bathroom in a towel which one of her parents seen and blamed her for having the friend over all night. whether or not he was I don't know, I didn't ask.
During the time out of her house I discussed with her about moving in with me rent-free (bad idea) because her home life was getting hectic, she was supposed to move in or around December which so happened she didn't which is fine.
From about mid December to now I haven't heard much from her, she even went to say her fackbook was hacked and friends were removed before she got to do anything, I was removed from her friends. She also said she would remove her account all together also... which hasn't happened. For the last month I haven't spoken to her at all. The once excuse I got was she was selected for jury duty and is "busy" cleaning her house. Note: she decided not to take Winter classes and is jobless.
I would really appreciate any advice you could give me on this girls very non-existent friendship with me. | Girl I fancy has stopped talking to me for a month, not sure of why. |
t3_3nvrrb | relationships | How do I [20 M] be a caring/sweet boyfriend to my girlfriend [20 F] of 10 months without being a doormat/being too available? | I would like to start be saying the relationship is really great. We have a lot of good memories together. But I am getting worried that I'm becoming almost too helpful/clingy/available to my girlfriend.
We both go to the same college and my schedule is not quite as busy as hers. A lot of times when she gets really stressed I will do things to help here feel less stressed like checking out books for her and bringing her dinner. I have a lot of free time that I don't know what to fill with and feel like I'm always available to do things for her. Where is the line between being a helpful/sweet boyfriend and straight up clingy/always available? | I do things to help my girlfriend out a lot and have too much free time. What is the line between being too available/being a doormat vs a caring/sweet boyfriend? |
t3_47sq9w | relationships | How do I (28F) tell my boyfriend (30M) to stop slouching? | This sounds so incredibly silly and I know that. But getting straight to the point, Josh and I have been dating for six months, everything's going great thus far and I have nothing to complain about with how he treats me, what he does for a living, who his friends are, etc.
But he slouches like crazy! He's a grown man so I feel bad telling him to stop because I'm not his mother. I don't know if it's just me, but it feels like it will come off as insulting and condescending. But maybe that's just because I associate slouching with teenagers. I rarely see adults doing it which is why I'm so perplexed that my boyfriend does.
It's not a height issue (I'm miniature so anyone is taller than me) and I'm not sure if slouching will cause major health problems down the line, but it just feels like something you shouldn't do. Am I being trivial or is this worth mentioning? And if it is, how do I even go about it? We're both adults and I don't want to come off like some nagging mother. | Grown-ass boyfriend slouches, should I tell him to stop and how? |
t3_fciyv | AskReddit | Can someone do a good photoshop for me? | X-posted from favors, no one answered =(
V-day is coming up, and being jobless, I'm trying to make a really good gift. I'm trying to make a scrap book, and I want to start it off with our first vacation pictures
Request, could anybody with great Photoshop skills Photoshop me a picture of Mickey from Fantasia dueling Harry potter, with the lighting or "wand magic" or whatever in the middle spelling out "Love" Say yellow coming from Mickey, Blue from Harry, meets in the middle? Florida- Disney, and Harry potter world was our 1st ever vacation. I would like to fit in two 8x10 photos one from each park, so they would need to be a decent space apart. | Can someone photoshop dueling Fantasia Mickey and Harry potter with the wand magic meeting in middle to spell "Love" with enough space to fit two photos in between. |
t3_4n19ob | tifu | TIFU by leaving on my refrigerator's filtered water | This happened a few weeks ago.
So I was preparing for my week long trip to Hawaii. Nothing outta the ordinary here. Yet. I decided to get some fresh cold water before I left so I went over to my refrigerator and turned on the filter. My parents were yelling at me to hurry up since we were already pretty late so I frantically closed the fridge door and went to the rent-a-car.
We come back to our feet drenched in 3-inch wetness. Yeah, I didn't close the filter. Fuck me.
Luckily, the filter automatically turned off after a while but the damage was already done. Our entire refrigerator was soaked and all the food was ruined, not to mention all the water nearly flooding our home. Parents were NOT happy to say the least. Even today I get PTSD flashbacks whenever my siblings spill water or some shit. | Flooded my house with the refrigerator water filter, ruined the food, and got in really hot water (heh heh). |
t3_31cryj | relationships | I'm (22m) questioning my 4 year relationship with my (22F). | Hey reddit. To cut a long story short my girlfriend and I have been struggling sexually for the last 2 years. Sex is painful for her, and due to this pain we have stopped trying. It's been an issue for the last 2 years but I love her company and personality so I've ignored the issue. I've understood it, it's something I've looked past, we have both spoke in depth about it, she's gone to the doctors and we have tried so many alternatives but nothing has worked. This has caused is (over to the last 2 years) to stop physically touching each other, we don't really kiss or do anything sexual. Cue my sisters friend (18F). I've known her for years but last week she had a party and we really hit it off. I've started fancying her. What should I do? I love my gielfriend but I don't feel like I'm in love with her due to the last 2 years and lack of sexual contact. I'm conflicted. | been with girlfriend for 4 years, lack of sexual contact is making me look elsewhere |
t3_3lhhe4 | relationships | A year ago, I [21M] have cheated on my GF [21F] of 3 years, and she will soon find out. Need help. | One year ago, I have cheated on my GF who I was together with 2 years ago then: I deeply regret it now.
Now the problem: Day after I cheated, I told one of my friends (20F back then). She was okay with it, but recently she went crazy because her BF broke up with her and now she is telling almost everyone what I did, because "She can't live on with it". I am pretty sure I have to tell my GF what I have done before she hears it from anybody else.
So, I have planned: Take her to dinner to our favourite restaurant, buy her flowers, and then tell her "I need to tell you something, because our relationship can't be build on lies" but I am not sure how she will react. I have done it one year ago, for one year she had loved person who cheated on her.
Also, another problem is that we both study in different cities and can only meet on the weekends and for short time. And we recently overcome crisis.
So, questions:
1) How should I tell it to her?
2) What kind of reaction can I expect?
3) Is there possibility to save the relationship?
Thanks guys. | Cheated on my GF, need help how to tell her before she finds out. |
t3_o4gdz | AskReddit | Is this legal, and if not what can I do to stop it? | I did a Google search on my name, as I do each month because I like to know what potential employers will be able to find out about me on the internet. I keep all of my social media profiles completely private. Today among the top results for my name was a link to a jerk.com profile. I visited the site and gathered the following information:
1) Jerk.com gathers information on people by either searching the internet or submissions from users.
2) With this information they create profiles for people using first and last names as well as photographs without the person's permission
3) Removal of profiles is not possible. If people do not like their listing they can essentially pay for "premium" features to make their profile favorable.
Here is the address to their "Remove Me" page if you'd like to see for yourself:
This website seems to be designed to extort people into paying for "premium" services so that they do not show up as "jerks" on web searches.
I do not want my name or photograph associated with this website and I have not given them permission to use either. I feel like having my name show up with the work "jerk" next to it in Google searches is defamatory to my character. Is there anything I can do to stop them? | Jerk.com is making my name an photograph available without my permission and is doing this in a way that I feel is defamatory to my character. What do I do? |
t3_4slisd | relationships | I [48F] cheated on my husband [53M] of 20 yrs. He's forgiven me but our son [18M] hasn't. | So to start out with, I know that I was wrong. For the past few years, my husband and I had been going through a rough patch in our marriage. He always refused to acknowledge anything was wrong, but it was. We were definitely both at fault for this rough patch but he never wanted to try to address it. In my frustration and loneliness, last year, I ended up having a brief emotional and physical affair with a coworker. I was wrong for this, which I know, but my husband and I are working through it in counseling.
My son was the one who discovered the affair. He was using my phone to look something up and found the messages I was exchanging with my coworker. He told his father, who confronted me. I apologized to him, broke things off with my coworker, and entered counseling with my husband. It's hard but we're trying to make our marriage work.
The problem is my son. Even though it's been several months, and I've tried to tell him how sorry I am, he's completely pulled away. He doesn't really speak to me at all anymore, beyond what he absolutely has to. He still hangs out with his dad, but with me it's like the bare minimum. He gets his chores done and his grades this year were fine but he just says nothing to me.
I know I've hurt him and I've tried to apologize but he just doesn't seem to hear it. When the two of us are alone in the house he either makes an excuse to go out or goes to his room and shuts the door. He told his dad that when he goes to college, he'd prefer his dad come visit him rather than him coming home. I've tried to bring it up with him, and to suggest he come to family counseling with my husband and me but he refuses.
Honestly, I don't really know what to do. My husband and I are trying to work through it but my son seems to think what I've done is completely unforgiveable. How do I help him to move past this so we can start to repair our relationship? | Need advice on how to repair relationship with my son after cheating on his dad. |
t3_4zyjwx | relationships | Boyfriend [20/M] not respecting me [19/F] or am I just being too sensitive? | So whenever my boyfriend sees another girl with a nice body, butt, or boobs he'll always say things like "Mmm look at that", or "Dang those are some nice titties" to me and it's like...? I don't want to hear that. It's not a jealousy thing, I just expect that your significant other should have some respect not to say that kind of stuff to your face. And when I get upset over this, and there's been multiple occasions, he'll just laugh and say he's sorry and won't do it again and surprise.. He does it again. Am I being too sensitive or is this just straight up disrespectful. | Boyfriend tells me to my face how nice other girls' bodies are. |
t3_3oqldo | personalfinance | Need details about Insured Retirement Plans (IRP) and what my other options are | I've been offered to set up an IRP through one of my friends who works for a company called Greatway. They charge a 3.5% annual management fee but give you back 1.5% of that as part of a "bonus", so really they take 2%. And if the stock market performs better than 5% they give you an additional .5% on the bonus.
I'm wondering if this is a smart move to sign up. I'm 22 y.o. and live in Canada. The management fee seems like a gouge from my account if they are collecting every year. It would work out to a lot of extra money if I didn't have to pay that fee and there is another account or way around this. Is it better to put my money in a TFSA and invest it in solid companies myself? Is there another option out there I don't know about? | Is an IRP with management fee of 2% worth signing up for or is there a better option to make passive income through investments? |
t3_305fon | relationships | Ex-gf (22F) broke up with me (22M) twice...need some advice / perspective | Hi all, making a throwaway for this....
So I met this girl around 2 years ago in a club, hit it off great and ended up staying the night together. After a few weeks we become 'official', although I had to live in London (she's spanish and we met in Spain) so we were in a LDR. After 1.5 years or so, she breaks up with me. I initiated NC and deleted her off everything, and have been slowly forgetting about her, even though she texts me about once every month to show how much she 'cares about me'.
Just a few days ago I had to return to Spain for a few days to return her stuff (she let me borrow her ps3 etc) and she wanted to meet me in the airport. She starts getting close to me again, saying she wanted to be together again etc. Although I was cold at first, I eventually warmed up to her again and we started spending time together all lovey-dovey like nothing happened. Despite the good few days together, the next day after I return to London she sent me another text saying we shouldn't talk anymore and the relationship (if it even was one) is over.
Naturally I'm rather shocked and angry at this rollercoaster, but at the same time wondering what the fuck just happened....I would really appreciate some perspective / advice from people who have been through the same thing. Thanks. | ex broke up with me twice. |
t3_vxgzg | AskReddit | How do I fit in more at my office? or how can I learn to enjoy working with people I dislike? | I've been working at this office for about 5 months and it's my first real job out of college. The office is a cliquey place and unfortunately, there is only one clique and the people excluded from it. The people in the clique, I've noticed, talk shit about everyone else, which I dislike, but isolating myself has made me really hate coming to work. There were better people around when I started but they have since quit and it's too soon for me to leave. I've just been having a miserable time and I'd like to make this job a little more painless. I need some advice! Thanks Reddit. | New job sucks, people suck, need to find a way to not hate working here for the next few months. |
t3_1pv1mr | relationships | It's been more than 18 months since my ex (F/25) and I (M/28) of 5 years broke up... | ...and I seem to be doing well. I'm not depressed. I'm finishing up with school and going to be a doctor soon. However, I can't help but miss her and feel so lonely sometimes. I meet girls and even though we seem to hit it off, nothing ever comes about. Either we lose interest in each other or the timing is wrong like she has a boyfriend or something. In those short encounters, I forget about her... but when it's over, I can't get my ex out of my mind.
I don't feel shitty or anything, well, not that much anyway. I'm not heartbroken either. I just feel lonely. I wish I could accept being single, even if for a long time. I've considered online dating, but I've seen the culture and it's just another game that I have no interest in trying to play.
Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated. | I should be over my ex, but I'm not. Now I'm lonely. |
t3_2pq1qu | tifu | TIFU by calling a co-worker's church a cult | I am pretty vocally non-religious, which is odd for the area of the world in which I live. All the 'oh sweetie, you'll come to Jesus' comments are now met with irreverance and joking about cults and the FSM.
This particular church gave all the teachers at our public school Target giftcards. Yesterday I said "Ohhh! Giftcards from the cult! Yay! I need to go get some underwear ... thanks *insert Pastor name here* and my coworker overheard. Today I encouraged a different coworker to use the giftcard to buy herself a present and said it was better than other cults because at least you got a giftcard. The member of the church heard again and pulled me aside and told me I was being entirely disrespectful and was obviously very hacked that I had maligned his faith - despite the fact that I tolerate religious jabs all the time from them. Apparently our mutually sarcastic banter does not stretch to this point.
I am not alone in my sentiment, and we have had a previous civil discussion on how I thought religion was a wash. I am considering just giving him back the giftcard, because I hadn't used it yet anyway. Thoughts? He said things were fine, but I want to cover my bases. | Was loudly joking about a cult-esqe area church that did a nice thing, hacked off a cubemate who knows I'm atheist |
t3_2rk8bb | tifu | TIFU by being polite at work... | So this happened today while I was at work. I work at a commuinty center in my city and all in all its a pretty chill job. We have a swimming pool, fitness center, basketball courts. The works. Anyways so today I get assigned to work in the fitness center. I hardly work in the there but I know what to do. I clean, mop, help when asked, typical bulshit ya dig. We also get a lot of handicap people comming in for pt. Well while I was moping over by the coat rack, one of them rolls on over to get there shit. We small talk and shit. Asking how his work out is going and he's asking about work. Well as he is leaving I say be safe and I will see him tommrow and he yells back drive safe( we live in Michigan. The roads just got bad last night )AND WITH OUT SKIPING A BEAT I REPLY '' yea you drive safe as well''. WTF. The guy stops dead in his roll turns around and gives me the most eye pericing look I have every got, then replied with ''what is your problem, I'm in a fucking wheelchair'' and roll out.
I don't know if my boss knows or if he told him but I'm freaking out. | clearing the fitness center while chatting with a handicaple person, told him to drive safe, he told me to fuck off. |
t3_3jswex | tifu | TIFU By Sending A Woman My Address Card From My Mac | By today, I mean like 15 minutes ago. Met a girl on Bumble, we started texting. I got her to agree to come over tonight. She asked for my address, and I pulled up my address card from Contacts and sent it to her. Just as I pressed send, I realized what my contact card had me listed as.
A couple of years ago, my buddies and I were drunk, and we were making Siri call us by different nicknames. The last one I made Siri call me was "Dr. Snatchcatcher." I don't use Siri that often, so I forgot about it. Until I pressed send today.
I sent this woman my address card with me listed as "Dr. Snatchcatcher." She stops texting me for like ten minutes while I explain the story behind it. I think I got her back, but that was ten minutes of crazy apologizing. | gave a woman my card with my name listed as "Dr Snatchcatcher." |
t3_2j821z | offmychest | Wife has been applying for higher paying jobs for months but refuses to get a part time job to help me pay the bills | I really need to get this off my chest. Just got married in June. Sole provider for the family as of right now. Get paid just enough to cover the bills but with my student loans kicking in, it's going to be tough for the foreseeable future. Have been taking money out of savings and will continue to as long as I am the only one with a job. Only a couple of months worth of savings left. My wife graduated in May and has been applying to jobs left and right. She finished an internship in June but has not had any sort of job since. She has had a couple of interviews but nothing has panned out. I have repeatedly asked her to get a part time job, at a gas station or local fast food place, but she refuses. She says that she is above working there. I keep explaining to her how if she even gets a part time job at minimum wage, it would really help me cover all the bills and replace some of our savings. But she still won't listen to me. I've suggested she use one of our local work finding programs and she won't even do that. We're not in dire straits just yet, but come winter time, when lots of car issues and health issues arise, the money we need in an emergency won't be there. I think a big part of this issue is that she has never had to pay any bills in her life, sans her monthly credit card bill. Both of her parents have passed and she was raised by her aunt and uncle. Her tuition was entirely covered due to her life circumstances. So she never has had to have any responsibility over finances. Not to say that she is irresponsible, she is actually very frugal when it comes to spending money, but I don't think she realizes how much of a toll her not having any kind of position is taking on me and our finances. I think it makes me feel even worse that she won't even listen to my advice. I'm at my wits end. I love her though, but it's been hard. I know that we could be much worse off, but this situation just really sucks. | I want my wife to work ASAP, she is waiting for a perfect full time opportunity and is being picky. |
t3_1o5eu8 | relationships | Relationship vs career, plus age difference issues [28 M] with my girlfriend [18 F], 6 months | After many years of being forever alone, I fell into a relationship with an amazing girl last year who is ten years younger than me. It works because she is very mature and sensible for her age (e.g. complains about her parents drinking too much), and I am somewhat immature, both in the way I act, and how old I look. She's amazing, makes me v. happy, loves me deeply, etc. Her parents even like me!
However the rest of my life isn't going so well. I'm a software developer, but I live in a city/country with very low wages and very few interesting software jobs. If it wasn't for this relationship I'd be on a plane yesterday. I've turned down ~90k positions in other cities, but currently earn less than half of that here doing shitty mind-numbing web development work. I hate hate hate my job.
She however cannot leave town because she is still finishing high school, is committed to study here after that anyway, and likes this town because friends and family are here.
At the moment I feel like the happiness of this relationship is worth the career sacrifice. But on the other hand, I'm tired of being poor, and would like to make something of my life/have some career success. I currently feel like I'm pissing away my potential career-wise.
But long distance seems like absolute hell. And if I broke up with her just for some job elsewhere that might turn out to be not amazing anyways, I know I'd regret it very very deeply.
What should I do? Any bright ideas? | Bad career prospects in current town. Girlfriend cannot leave town, I feel like I should for my career but think my relationship is more important. |
t3_1qpyep | relationships | I (17/F) met an amazing guy (28/M) at Starbucks. Lied about my age and now I'm scared to lose him if I come clean. | A few days ago the internet was out at my house so I went to a nearby starbucks to finish a paper. The place was packed and there was nowhere to sit by myself, so I asked a guy if I could share his table with him. After about an hour of silence, he struck up conversation with me and after just a few minutes I was hooked. He was smart and funny and adorable in a nerdy sort of way that I love. I live in a college town and when he asked if I was a student at one of the nearby schools, I just sort of went with it because I was having such a good time talking to him and didn't want to scare him off. Before he left he asked for my number and I know this was the point I should've come clean, but I gave it to him and we've been texting nonstop ever since. Our texts have started to become more flirty and sexual and we actually have plans to meet up tonight at the same Starbucks for coffee and "take it from there".
My problem is I really like this guy and would love to see where this goes. I'm not sure he'll even want to talk to me if I tell him how old I am and that I'm really still a senior in high school, but I know that I shouldn't keep it from him anymore especially since we've been sexting and something is sure to happen if we meet up tonight.
So I guess my question is, how do I break it to him without completely scaring him away? I don't turn 18 until March and I really don't want to have to wait that long to date him. What should I do??? | Met an older guy, lied about my age, scared to tell him the truth cause he'll run. |
t3_2vx8ym | tifu | TIFU by not covering my mouth | So I've been sick for the past few weeks with some kind of sinus thing, that dripped into my lungs, thus giving my this nasty cough. I was leaving a class earlier and had to cough, but I figured my cold had to be clearing up, so I didn't bother coughing into the inside of my elbow. Big mistake - I coughed and about a teaspoon of my phlegm flew out and landed on the back of the guy in front of me, all over his windbreaker. He didn't notice, and luckily the two of us were the only ones around for about a dozen feet an any direction, so nobody noticed. I power-walked ahead of him by like 20 feet before thinking about how fucked up that was, seriously I feel like an asshole. | Coughed without covering my mouth, slung about a small handful of salty slimy lung butter on some guy's back |
t3_3ba1qt | tifu | TIFU By eating a packet filled with pepper. | So there I was having just landed an two hour long flight in Fsx, and I felt a bit hungry, I saw a packet that had pepper on my desk(I take packets of salt and pepper from restaurants and keep then In my wallet in case I ever run out.) So it being 1 o clock in the morning I go fridge raiding. I had a hunger for something meaty, seeing bacon straps, I grabbed them, lined them up on paper towels and in the microwave they went. So as they were cooking I grabbed some onion to eat with the bacon(I'm a strange teenager) so finally the onions are ready, I start to wrap each onion shell with bacon. So now I start to look for my pepper, sadly I didn't find it and me being hungry I didn't really care. So I just substituted it with salt. So as I'm munching down I chew on something weird(and almost choke) , and guess what? As I was wrapping the bacon I must have left the pepper packet on the plate, so I ended up almost eating a fat soaked packet of pepper.......... And a minute later I get a bright idea of writing up a TIFU. | Almost choked on a fat soaked packet. |
t3_3npm08 | relationship_advice | I'm a [19/m] guy with 0 experience with women and I have some questions about approaching and dating | Hello everybody!
I'm a [19/m] with no experience whatsoever with women that means: never had a girlfriend, never kissed, never flirted and I've never had female friends(only a few acquaintances that I haven't seen in age)
Zero experience, as I said.
However, I'm slowly starting to grow the guts to approach girls (I haven't yet, though) and I started attending the university, so there are *literally* hundreds of chicks that I can try to approach.
Still, there is a big problem: I realized that even if I had approached somebody, I wouldn't know where to take her to a date. Sadly, I don't know really many places, when I hang with my friends they always want to go to the same places and therefore I have 0 ideas for a date. Also, most things I do do not need me to go to many cool places.
Also, there is a girl in my course that I wanted to approach, but she's always with her friends. What can I do?
And lastly, even if I manage to get a conversation going, how do I manage to make myself a potential boyfriend instead of a simple friend? I really don't know how to flirt (how could you know how to do something you've never done?). | No experience with women, no idea on where to date, how to approach when a girl is a with her group of friends and how flirt. |
t3_j87pf | BreakUps | Can I breakup with my BF of 2 months over the phone? | 21F 25M
he'll seriously cry and beg and plead with me to change my mind/tell him how to change while i won't be phased by the break up at all...so i feel like it will be less hurtful for him to receive the news over the phone than to receive it face to face while i'll deliver the news pretty indifferently. which i know sounds awful but it's the truth.
otherwise it's a matter of making him excitedly drive up here to see me (hes taking this relationship much more seriously than me) for 40 mins for me to dump him, or me driving 40 mins to dump him at his place. honestly hes not worth the gas to me at this point though...
so, phone call appropriate? or should i do this face to face? | BF (of 2 months) madly in love, i'm not. want to dump him ASAP, not sure how. |
t3_17lkcd | relationships | Girl (F24) I like doesn't like me (F25) back. She wants me to set her up with my best friend. Help me out? | This is the second girl that this has happened with but that doesn't make this any easier so I've come to you for advice.
I've been friends with this girl for about a year and she's been single for most of that time. I finally worked up the courage to tell her how I felt about her only to get shot down and told that she likes my best friend.
This girl is actually really cool and has been a good friend to me so cutting her out of my life probably isn't the best idea. Should I go ahead and set her up with my best friend like she requested? I know my best friend thinks she's hot so it's likely to work out..
This is the second time that this has happened and I'd like to prevent it from happening in the future. Do I make new friends that aren't so good looking? Almost all of my guy friends are handsome dudes and well.. I'm.. not.. so I'm kind of invisible to women when I'm around them. If you've ever been in this situation, I'd really appreciate any help. I don't really have any experience with women so I'm trying to fix this while I still can. Thanks | This girl (F24) I (F25) really like wants my best friend. I think my good looking guy friends are what's keeping me from getting a girlfriend. I just need some advice. |
t3_33wqfb | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [23M] two years. He constantly wants to spend time together, I need a lot of time to myself. Time to end it? | **Apologies for my English, it's my third language.
My boyfriend and I met in college and overall I guess things have been pretty good the last two years. Lately though things have come to a head - our work schedules mean spending less time together and while I'm more than content to see him 2-3 times a week (that's honestly *too* much for me, I need a lot of time alone or I feel completely drained) he seems to want to see me every second day, or else he becomes depressed.
This has been going on for the past six months or so and I'm just so tired of feeling guilty and awful for something I really cannot control. I'm an introverted person by nature and as I work full-time in a loud and busy office now I really, really need time to myself to recover. Whereas he seems to need quite the opposite.
I still love him and feel immense sadness at the prospect of breaking up, but I'm starting to think we're just not compatible. The last time I saw him he stayed at my house for 6 hours, and at the 3 hour mark I was already ready to have my own space. When he finally left I felt relieved. That's not normal, right? =/
I guess I'm just looking for non-biased perspectives or other people's experiences. | Boyfriend wants to spend lots of time together and gets very sad when we can't. I could happily see him just for a couple of hours once a week and I feel very guilty about making him sad like this, I'm starting to think it's better to let him go. Are we incompatible? Time to break up? |
t3_113pl7 | relationships | 20 year old M/F relationship lasting 1 yr 4 months... Please help! Is my relationship in trouble? | Both my boyfriend and I (female) are 20 years old and we have been together for a year and 4 months. During the school year last year I spent every night at his place and we had sex almost every night with occasional nights where we just went to sleep. We had the summer apart where we visited each other a few times. When we came back this year we didn't have that special reunion I was expecting because I had Marching Band camp that lasted literally all day and into a good portion of the night. When school started we no longer saw each other every night because he said he needed to study A LOT and get a better night sleep. (This I understood because my dog fidgets during the night and I sometimes roll and kick.) As the weeks progress he is so exhausted from school work he comes to my place and immediately crashes... so now we are having sex maybe once a week and rarely have the time afterwards for deep conversations. I talked to him about it and he says he's trying his hardest to keep up with school (he's an engineer) and confessed he's actually failing a class right now and he still loves me VERY much! I love him very much too, but I'm getting frustrated emotionally and sexually with the amount and the quality of time we spend together. How can I stay supportive of his school work (which of course comes first) and satisfy my needs at the same time? | Boyfriend and I use to have lots of quality time and sex everyday last year, but now he's working so hard with school that he's too tired for anything. How do I cope? |
t3_49qm39 | dogs | [Help] Need advice; Keep dog or take him back to shelter? | Hi all, let me start out by saying that this is in no way an easy decision, hence why I came here for some advice.
To understand everything fully, you'll need what seems like more than enough background information. I'm in college and I live on campus, but I come home frequently. At home, I live with my grandmother and my four awesome cats. We used to have two dogs, but they had recently passed away and we missed having a canine companion. However, it is very, very important that this dog we adopt not be a puppy because my grandmother works a lot and doesn't get around very well and so therefore doesn't have time or the capacity to house-train a puppy. She also didn't want the dog to be chewing on everything or to try and run away in the underground pet fence.
We decided to go out and look at the dogs available for adoption at the humane society. The people who worked there were raving about this one particular dog they were sure would be perfect for us. His papers said he was three years old, which was still a bit young for us, but that's okay. We fell in love and took him home. Fast forward, we took him to the vet for something and they said that he was a year old or less. Welp, we were shocked.
Then, we found out why he hadn't been pooping when we took him out (which we did constantly): he had been using my grandmother's office as a toilet. He's not housetrained. At all.
So, my grandmother has been trying everything and of course nothing is working because it takes time, which she doesn't have.
But, as per his "puppy" nature, he also chases our cats. A huge no-no. Our cats are life. He chews on her work computer. He isn't leash trained (and she doesn't have time for that). Then came the final blow... He tried to attack me with no provocation. Twice.
Our cats are terrified of the dog, I'm terrified of the dog, my grandmother is just pissed at the dog. Should we keep him in hopes of change or take him back to the shelter? | we were lied to about adopted dog's age, dog is actually a puppy who isn't house-trained or leash trained and he tries to attack the cats and tried to attack me. Moral dilemma of keeping him or returning him. |
t3_2tmh1b | relationship_advice | I (M/24) have been dating a this girl (F/23) for four months and her schedule is starting to offend me. | I apologize for the title ahead of time. I didn't know how to explain the issue in a short, non-vague way.
We both have very different levels of energy. I'm typically full of energy all day and don't go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning if I'm alone or with my friends. She's usually tired all of the time and tends to fall asleep fairly early, even on weekends. From the beginning, I've compromised my sleep schedule so that I can sleep with her, as I really do enjoy falling asleep/waking up with her, but I feel like it's wearing on me socially. However, I've noticed on nights that I don't hang out with her or stay the night with her, she'll go to bed around 4am. A good example is from this weekend. On Friday, we went out to the bars with friends and she wanted to go home at midnight. On Saturday, I was too tired to meet up with her after work, but she was hanging out with the same friends until 4am and sending me texts/snapchats the whole time. I'm starting to feel offended that she always seems too tired for me, but is completely fine when I'm not there. Am I being unreasonable? She understands I'm a night owl, so she knows I don't benefit from going to sleep early. | Girlfriend goes to bed very early when I'm staying the night with her, but stays out/awake incredibly late when I don't. Feeling offended. |
t3_1v0x31 | relationships | I [27/M] just found out my girlfriend [34/F] of 7 months is actually a doctor who lied about being a nurse. Is this cause for concern? | We met online a while back and the relationship has been ideal so far. Not without a few small arguments, but there are no real negatives and I'm falling for her more and more every day.
She initially told me she was a registered nurse which I thought was really cool. I graduated with a degree in Computer Science last spring and started my career right before I met her.
I know it sounds sort of sexist, but the fact that she was a nurse appealed to me because it seems very feminine.
Yesterday she told me we needed to talk about something serious. She explained that she's actually a radiologist and that her salary is far more than I thought. She then showed me her degrees (I had never asked to see them before) as proof.
Basically she wanted to make sure I wasn't just with her for the money. Now she feels that we've been together long enough to trust each other. She also asked for my forgiveness.
I told her I was shocked, but that I love her no more or less than I already did. This is true. I really don't have a problem with this at all, I'm just wondering if it's a red flag.
I really do love her with all my heart and for the last few months I've been thinking of proposing marriage at the end of this year. This doesn't change the way I feel, but knowing she will be the primary bread winner is a little different. | Girlfriend lied about being a wealthy doctor until she trusted me. I still love her and I don't have a problem with this at all, just wondering if it is a red flag. |
t3_1fmlha | offmychest | I just want friends, that's all | I've lost all of my friends. Mostly by my own fault or choice honestly. After high school I chose to get a job, get my finances straight, and go to school. Most of the time I was working full time and going to school full time. Sometimes even working two jobs. Instead of partying on weekends, I cashiered and went through verbal abuse at the hands of asshole customers. Instead of going to local get togethers, concerts, or any thing else I worked, studied, spent small amounts of time with my girlfriend, and when I got the chance slept.
Finally I am in my own apartment with my girlfriend, working a steady schedule after working my way into a better position at work, and have weekends off. However, none of my friends are friends anymore it seems. Other than my girlfriend, I had one person I considered even a semi friend. She is not someone I want to associate with anymore for various reasons. So I knocked one out all by myself. I don't regret it, it just sucks.
Anyone I associated with in high school got fed up with me never hanging out regardless of reasons and won't reply to me anymore really. Well now I have no friends at all. No one to idly chat with. No one to hang out with on my weekends. No one to text about whatever. No one to see after work. I love the gf but we work together, live together, and on some occasions go to school together.
I'd do the whole craigslist strictly platonic thing but I am transgendered/genderfucked/genderqueer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit so I am always afraid that I'll end up being hated, put myself in harms way to people who don't think it's right, or they will take one look at me and think I am a tomboy and want sex. I seriously just want friends again, that's all.
I have a few work acquaintances and people I see regularly, but they are not friends. We've mostly never talked out of work or casual passing by. | I pushed away my friends by solidifying my life after high school. Now life is solid but I don't have any real friends to share my days off, texting time, or anything else with. |
t3_17an93 | relationships | I have type II Bipolar disorder. When is it appropriate to bring this up? (22M) | I am in treatment, I take my medication, I have a psychiatrist and a therapist, and my condition is largely under control. I haven't had an episode for over a year, although it is true that in my past sometimes I would have had emotional breakdowns and seriously harmed myself in some way.
I don't feel like it's fair to a potential partner to keep this kind of thing from them, because it's a major part of my life and something that could potentially affect them if I have a breakdown again in the future. On the other hand, I feel like bringing this up too early is going to scare people off. | How far into the dating process or a potential relationship should I disclose my mental health issues? I don't want to ruin my chances with dates who I like, but also don't like the idea of withholding important information. |
t3_1nwaqy | relationships | Me [24 M] with my GF[25 F] together for 5 Years, a past relationship with someone before me. | I've known my gf for over five years now. We are now in hopes of getting married as we are saving up as much as possible.
However, something happened while I was away at a festival. She explained the day I got back that she met an old friend from many years back before we met in college. When they talked to catch up again, she told me he also has a gf and is doing really well, but had to tell her that he had strong feelings for her in the past.
The reason they didn't get together was due his aggressive judgements on people and it turned her off completely. However, as we were talking, she kept thinking of the "what if scenario." What if I didn't judge him based on that? What if I forgave him like many times I forgave my current bf? What would my world be like? Everyone has screwed up one way or another in a relationship, especially if it's been 5 years, but now I don't know what to do.
I trust her for being honest with me after their conversation, but something lurks behind that. It's as if my brain is telling me I have competition and I should watch out. I love her, to hell and back, but I don't want this one guy right before I even propose to ruin my life. | My gf talked again with a guy from her past. He has a gf as well, but told my gf he had strong feelings for her. We are about to be engaged and I don't know where I stand in this. |
t3_2nvv6d | askwomenadvice | Would like help asking a girl out. | Hi! I'm 39M, divorced for 7 years, with a 12 year old daughter i have 50% custody of. I found out a girl I've known since high school has become recently single (within the last year) and would like to ask her out.
I would like to go out with her because she seems to meet my initial criteria for someone to date- fun, solid career, has 2 kids, her own house, friends, family, etc. Also she is very pretty. We were friends on Facebook, liking each others pictures and telling each other Happy Birthday but that's as far as our interactions went. I am no longer on Facebook. We have some mutual acquaintances. We haven't seen each other since high school.
How do I ask her out? Or, should I not pursue her at all? I don't want to be creepy or obsessive and I don't want to put unnecessary pressure on our mutual friends to play match maker.
Thanks for any ideas or for just telling me I'm a weirdo and to get a hobby. My life is pretty dialed in physically, financially, and emotionally and I really want to share it with a good woman, but that is someone who isn't easy to find at my age. Also I've tried relationship websites (i.e. match.com) but I find them kind of weird. | Old guy wants to ask out old high school friend in a healthy way |
t3_2qsoae | offmychest | I'm really nervous to see my girlfriend's family | My girlfriend and I have been living together since September, and I've only met her family one time... six months ago. It's kind of a strange situation because she and I met each other online, and I moved across the country to be with her. I haven't had an opportunity to meet up with girlfriend's family until now, because we live in different cities and we all have crazy work/school schedules.
But I just got laid off, and my girlfriend is on winter break and is home with family, so... New Year's Eve is an option for getting to know her family better. And she *really* wants me there.
But I'm so nervous. Bad enough I have a history of social phobia (which has gotten much better in recent years, but still), but, also, her parents can't speak English very well. Her mom can hardly speak a drop of it, and her dad can speak it somewhat conversationally but with a thick accent. I don't think I'd be so nervous if I were able to talk to them more. They also live in a very small apartment, and I feel a bit bad going there and taking up space. Also, her dad and her older brother are pretty over-protective of her... like, her dad has said a couple times that he doesn't feel right about us living together (which, I guess, I can understand considering we moved so quickly) and her older brother (who I've never met by the way) just doesn't like hearing about me. And, honestly, I'm just not that good with people. I mean, I come across as a good guy, but I have a hard time expressing myself with people I don't know well, and I have a hard time getting to know people, so it makes for a pretty bad combination.
But she really wants me to be with her for New Year's. And I know I should go because I'm crazy for this girl and I'm very serious about our relationship. I don't know, I'm just scared, I guess. Maybe I'm just being stupid and whiny, but I could see it being really awkward what with all the over-protectiveness and language barriers and social inhibition and whatnot. | I've only met my girlfriend's family once. She wants me to stay over for New Year's. I know I probably should, but I'm really nervous because they don't really speak English, the men are overprotective, they have a small/cramped apartment, and I suck at getting to know people. |
t3_yfchd | offmychest | Tony, you're still a massive twat and I will continue to bitch about you on here until you stop being one, which will probably be for all eternity. | Honestly, I'm beginning to dread weekends. The minute you stomp up those stairs, I tense up. You seem to make it your mission to announce to everyone that you've arrived, although sometimes I wonder if you're actually doing it for my benefit. And you seem to think it's fine to climb over the fence, trample on everything beneath it and do what the fuck you like.
As for the little cunt next door, well congrats on pandering to his needs. I warned him that if he kicked the ball over into my garden, he wouldn't get it back. Thanks for destroying all the boundaries I'm trying to teach him.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't British and too polite to give it to you straight, because someone needs to fucking tell you what a cunt you are. My landlord must've been driven to distraction when he lived here, especially when you cut his tree down without asking.
Tony, you're an absolute mindfuck, even worse than my mother (and that's saying something). You even use your girlfriend (the poor bitch you come round to see) to vent your trivial complaints. So, for now, I don't give too shits about the brown streaks on the lawn, I will continue to spray the squirrels with ammonia solution until they fuck off. Maybe I should aim at you for a change. | FUCK OFF TONY, YOU MASSIVELY ANNOYING CUNT |
t3_38rbu7 | relationship_advice | [24/m] Been talking to a girl (26/f) a good six months or so, however, out of nowhere, she stopped texting back. What should I do, if anything? Should I just let it go and get on with my life. | So I'd been talking to this girl a lot over my time in college, and we were doing great via long distance, talking about life, all that good stuff. We had a lot in common: videogames, relying on our parents, being generally awkward, all sorts of stuff.
But when I got back home and we went on another date, things got awkward, which was mostly my fault. I was supposed to meet her for a date a few weeks ago, but my Dad's birthday came up and things had to be changed around. Eventually, though, I text her back and she doesn't respond. I admittedlly sent her a voicemail message saying that I may have screwed up and if she'd like to be friends.
All of this said, is there any way to keep her in my life even if we just stay friends? | Met girl, grew together while away, grew apart while close. NOt responding to texts. What do I do? |
t3_tfyge | self | The always classy mods over at /r/IAmA removed my post asking user Karmanaut to step down as moderator. | Here is the original post:
"As many of you know, "Karmanaut" is the resident hypocritical*, douchey mod of /r/IAmA.
If you check out his user page and look at his comments, they have all been downvoted to hell and everyone is telling him to eat shit.
Yet he seems to continue to operate as a mod of /r/IAmA? Why is this? No one seems to want him around here, do lets do something about it.
What do you say, Reddit?
*Hypocritical referencing the fact the he removed BLB's AMA for not actually having some amazing experience, yet a while back he made his *own* AMA for being a "Well known Redditor"
Doesn't add up." | Users tell Karmanaut to eat shit. He is a shitty moderator. GTFO. |
t3_23hyej | relationships | I [20 F] feel like I've been an ass to my fwb [24 M]. | I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post, but I need a little help, and I don't really have anyone to talk to about this particular issue.
I've been sleeping with this guy for about 2-3 months, and at first things were fine. Y'know, the sex was good, we were nice to each other. However, awhile ago things started to seem different: he started asking me to stay longer after we'd fucked, being more touchy, etc. Essentially, I freaked out and started being a bit of an ass. Annnd now the assholery is mutual.
Furthermore, I didn't realize it, but I think I've very much been treating him like...less than a person?
I feel like I should apologize, but in all honesty, I don't know if this is all in my head or if he actually was hurt by the way I'd treated him.
Either way, I guess I was wondering if there's a way to apologize for sort of taking out my own problems on him/not treating him very kindly in a way that wouldn't make it seem like I was trying to get too feelsy/make it too much of a big deal.
I admit I'm attached (though I have no intention of ever asking for more), and I'd like to get to know him better, which may be colouring my view of everything: Maybe he hasn't noticed a thing and I'm being hypersensitive and silly.
Also, just in general: what are little things that someone can do for you that makes you feel a little better, without overstepping boundaries? I really, really do not know what I'm doing and I'd just like him to seem happy around me again, y'know, laugh. | Have been a bit of an asshole to fwb, want to somehow make amends (and generally, be a better fwb). |
t3_13twze | relationships | Should I (18F) leave him (19M) alone? | I met this guy while we worked at two different conventions together. After the second one we started talking a lot and got to know each other rather well. We live three hours apart and last week I decided that I wanted to meet up again. (After maybe three weeks of texting/skyping every day).
It went fine, it was a really nice weekend and we got along well. We didn't have sex because I was on my period but we did make out etc. (Although I think he was expecting us to go further.)
Anyhow... Ever since I came home he seems rather distant. He told me that his new meds makes him bipolar and that he doesn't want to get angry with me, so much that he rather not talk to me. Although he did say that he would like to see me again? (He is battling depression, therefor the meds.) He also seems to have some self-esteem issues. He has never had a gf before and he also expressed that he is clueless when it comes to girls.
For a week now he haven't initiated a single conversation and barley responds when I do. This is frustrating because I really like him.
Reddit, got any advice for me? Should I leave him alone and hope that he comes around or keep trying to show him that I indeed am interested? I'm lost. | met a guy who lives three hours away, talked a lot and ended up meeting over the weekend. It worked out great however now he doesn't act interested although he says he is. |
t3_23nsly | relationships | Me [21 F] with my fiance [25 M] 3 years, found he asked for a naked picture of his ex. Do people really make these kind of mistakes once? | Recently I found out that my fiance and his ex had been having sexual chats and she sent him a naked picture which he willingly accepted (asked to see it). I always had a problem with him talking to her (gut feeling!) and he always assured me nothing was going on. This had been a serious issue and we had discussed it in depth - now I find out that he was lying the whole time! He said that at the time he felt like I didn't want him sexually and he liked that someone was paying attention to him. He says it was a one time thing and will never happen again. He deleted his ex off facebook and social networking and has
agreed to never talk to her again. My problem is that my trust is completely gone, I am always
paranoid when he is on his phone or computer.I am so hurt by his actions and am very angry at him.
Everything else in our relationship was great - for me this came straight out of the blue.
I had been making plans for our wedding and our life together, our sex life was fine. He has a high
sex drive and lately I have been very sick (for a few months) so we have not been doing it as much as before. However I didn't feel this was a huge problem. Now I feel like this is the reason he did this. I am very worried if we don't have sex more this will happen again.
Now I just cant get past this. I think about it all the time. We have talked about it a lot and agreed to try and work it out. I really need advice as to if relationships can survive something like this? Will it ever go away or is the best option just to end it? I know its early days but I am starting to doubt if I can ever accept this. I fully thought we were perfect together. I've stopped all wedding plans because I just don't know if we can survive it. Do people genuinely make mistakes like this? Do you have any advice for me Reddit? Thanks so much! | Fiance asked for naked picture of his ex. Is this a one time mistake or the beginning of the end? |
t3_2xow8t | relationships | My sister (22/ F) is Ignoring Me (20/ F) | Me and my sister were pretty close growing up, especially as we got into our late teens. We both knew our mother (50 years old) had substance abuse problems and neglected us, and so we tried to support and help each other. Even after my sister moved out and started her career we were close. Even when she entered a serious relationship we were close.
But lately she's been ignoring me. She would cancel plans, and then ignore any attempt I made to reschedule, or tell me she was busy with her fiance that day. She would ignore my texts, and facebook messages.
At first I thought it was just because I was being too clingy, so I left her alone. But after not hearing from her for weeks, I sent her a facebook message, only for it to be ignored again.
I then decided that it was her way of cutting off our parents. I still have to live at home, so I can understand she can't really do that if she's talking to me.
But then I found out she still actively talks to our Mom. I was using my mom's computer, and checked facebook for a second and saw that my sister was still talking to her, and that she had talked to her that day.
I'm trying to think about what I could've done to make her mad, but I haven't seen her since Christmas. Before Christmas she would only talk to me to complain about our mom, and then I would have to be the one to start the conversation.
I get that she's an adult and that she's busy, but I can't figure out why she hasn't even bother to send me a quick text when she has the time to talk to my mom every day. I would understand if it's just because we're growing apart, but it seems like it's so sudden. It has me really upset and I can't figure out what I've done. | My sister is ignoring me and I can't figure out why? |
t3_3d2uqh | relationships | My (22F) friend with benefits (23M) made out with another girl and hid this from me. He said it is none of my business because we aren't dating. | He is my ex-boyfriend but we have been having casual sex for over a year.
He NEVER told me about this. I found out when I joined his Xbox party with his friend who he was telling. He had went to a party and made out with a girl, and almost hooked up with another one (apparently she was too slutty for him so he didn't). I snapped saying why didn't I know this?
I talked to him about it tonight and he said I am annoying. He said we are no longer dating so he can do whatever he wants and there is nothing I can do about it. However, if he made out with another girl, he could have sex with another girl if he hasn't already and just never told me! Maybe I'm paranoid but I feel I 100% have the right to know what he is doing. Things like STDs come to mind.
Should he be telling me or if it really none of my business? It also hurts me that he would tell his friends about this but hid it from me... | FWB made out with a girl at a party, had no intentions of telling me until I found out by mistake. He said because we aren't dating what he does is none of my business. |
t3_3alhxg | tifu | TIFU by jumping on my bed | This happened around last month.
I collect statues. Video game, movie, comic book, etc. You name it, I collect it.
One day, I had decided to buy a Little Sister statue (from the game Bioshock) off of Ebay for $25. It's this little thing, about half the size of the Big Daddy that came in the first Bioshock's collector's edition.
pic for reference:
After it came, I was about to bring it downstairs into my room (where I display all my statues). Problem was, I had my laptop in one hand and a few books in the other, so instead of making multiple trips like a smart person, I stuffed the Little Sister in my pocket and made my way to the stairs.
Before I got to the stairs, I stopped to chat with my dad who had just walked in as I was about to go downstairs. When we were done, I walked down the steps, and I'll never understand why I did what I did next.
After putting the laptop and books down, I did something really dumb. Like the stupid 20 year old that I am, I jumped on my bed to get on to it (my bed is decently high). I had completely forgotten my newly acquired statue was in my pocket.
As soon as I landed, I realized what I did. I put my hand into my pocket, and there was my Little Sister statue, minus its legs. The legs were still in my pocket, broken off. The way I landed the jump (on my side where the statue was) snapped them clean off.
I freaked out because this statue was supposed to be rare or whatever (can't buy in it stores, only secondhand, was part of a promotion I think). Luckily, I was able to buy a new one not too long after, for close to the same price. Still wasted $25 though, although that's not too bad. | I broke my new $25 statue by jumping on my bed when I didn't realize it was in my pocket. |
t3_1ol2mk | relationships | [19M] I've been talking to a girl and things are going pretty well, but I'm not sure if I want to ruin what we have going buy taking it to the next step. | So I'm 19 and ive been talking to a girl from work for the last week or two and things have been moving along nicely.
She's 17, turning 18 in May so the age gap isnt that big.
We went from hardly talking, to talking practically every night for anywhere between an hour to 3 hours at a time.
We've discovered we have alot in common which has made me more and more smitten with her with each convo.
The only problem is that I want to take things to the next stage and actually be in a relationship with her, but Im not sure if I want to risk it all and lose her.
We've organized a day out together next week, which I've kinda made the intention of it being a date, but I havnt called it a date, more of a chance to hang out outside of work.
Should I ask her if she wants to make the day out into a date, should I just go and tell her that I have feelings for her, or should I just keep things how they are and just see where that leads? | I have a crush on a girl at work. We've been talking more and more, and have organized a day to 'hang outside of work.' Im not sure if I should take it to the next stage and ask her if we could make that day a date. |
t3_28k7me | tifu | TIFU by borrowing my buddy's Porsche... | Happened yesterday but for reasons to be seen below I didn't get time to post.
So I'm just a senior in high school and prom was just recently held at our school. I have an older friend who has a Porsche Boxter, and he lets me borrow it to go on dates and stuff because, well shit, it beats my 93' Accord.
My buddy was out of town with his family in Las Vegas for a business meeting/family vacation. He told me the garage door code and that the keys for the Porsche were in the cup holder of the car. As I walk into the garage and open the door to the Porsche I realize the keys are not there. I figure I'll find a house key under the welcome mat and I'll just walk into the house and kind the keys and be on my merry little way. That's where I fucked up.
I do find a key and unlock the house only to hear the sound of the house alarm system beeping. I figure I'm a genius when I use the garage code hoping both codes would be the same. INCORRECT. This alerts the police as most systems do and within minutes, the cops roll up, guns drawn, while I lean against the Porsche in my tux that I've rented for this prom. I put my hands up and explain myself. The cops were pretty cool but in order to follow protocol had to speak to the owner of the home to get his permission.
They try to call him several times to no avail. Voicemail after desperate pleading voicemail. I end up being detained until my buddy calls them. About 3 hours later I'm released and finally get to call my girlfriend who has only been sobbing for the last 3 hours thinking I had bailed on her.
I did end up going back and getting the Porsche, because hey, it's a Porsche! I go to her house and get slapped and ended up making it up to her for missing the dance by going to the park and dancing. | I went to go pick up a Porsche and ended up getting picked up by the Police. |
t3_2luump | relationships | I [21/F] can't stop thinking about my partners [31/M] abortion. | I have been with my partner for about 18 months or so. He is very loyal, loving and caring. In the beginning stages of our relationship he was still friends with his ex-girlfriend. She told me detailed information about their relationship in an attempt to turn me off him. It was very inappropriate and I tried to brush it aside. One thing in particular stuck with me. She told me that she had been pregnant with his child and that she had to get an abortion.
I did not broach the topic with my partner for a long time. That was something personal that happened between them. If I had the choice I would rather not know. Eventually I couldn't help but ask about it. We talked and he was very honest and open. I do not blame him for having a past or for the abortion. The big issue is that I can't stop thinking about it when we are intimate. It's a real mood killer for obvious reasons.
I am a very deep thinker and I find it very difficult to switch off. I know it's selfish of me. I wasn't the one who had to have an abortion. For some reason I just can't put it to the back of my mind. This shouldn't be a make or break situation. I don't want to punish my partner by stopping sex half way through because I'm thinking about things that have happened in his past.
I feel like I'm not mature enough to handle it. I can't talk to my friends about this because it is not my place to disclose the details of my partners past life. I would love to hear peoples opinions and suggestions. | I found out that my partner and his ex-girlfriend had an abortion. How do I get past this? |
t3_4hkz6z | relationships | My [27F] boyfriend [30M] of five years is bi and unsatisfied sexually. | Hey guys. I'll try to keep this concise. My boyfriend came out to me as bi a year or so into our relationship. I was a little surprised but he assured me he was committed to our monogamous relationship, and I couldn't care less if he watches gay porn now and then, so it didn't seem to be a big deal.
Over the last five years, he's revealed more and more that he gets urges for male sexual encounters. We've tried to address these urges with porn, toys, pegging, etc, but he says it doesn't really help. I always thought bisexual people were simply attracted to both sexes and, just like I sometimes find other men attractive but don't feel the need to act on it, he would too just with a larger variety of people. He says for him, it's not like that. It's a strong, overwhelming urge that he can't ignore.
We live together. We have a wonderful life together. He's the love of my life. This is our only problem but I'm not so naive to think that it's not an important issue.
Logically, I'd say he needs to be in an open or "monogamish" relationship to allow him to scratch that itch as needed. I am not interested in that kind of relationship whatsoever. So I feel like our options are either breakup, or have one of us suffer unhappily. We don't like either option and would both really like to stay together because in every other way we are so compatible (our sex life is even great outside of this one impasse).
So, Reddit...is there another option here we don't see? or are we doomed? Please help! | bf needs some male action, I don't want an open relationship, do we have to break up? |
t3_nutie | AskReddit | I don't know what to do about a girl. | I recently reconnected with a girl I knew a few years ago. The situation was a little weird as she moved here and was living with a friend of mine. She seemed interested in me but gave me subtle hints to not do anything. She drove me quite insane as I couldn't do anything about it. I was acting really stupid, her boyfriend confronted me online and just made me feel terrible about it.
After she moved back I talked to her a little but lost contact for over 2 years. I found her on FB after a bit of internet wizardry and she seems happy I'm talking to her. She said she wanted to come down for a little while during winter break but everything is so expensive.
She is single after taking a break with her bf and him making it final on christmas but they are still friends.
So my question is, how can I be more then friends with her? Or at least check if she wants to be without making things weird. Cause she is pretty amazing and I'd like to be friends with her if nothing else. | How do I make a move safely on an old friend? |
t3_3r5434 | relationships | I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having. | Throwaway because duh.
My wife and I have been together for 7 years, married for 2. Everything in our relationship is great. We rarely fight or have any arguments.
This morning I checked my e-mail (as I do every morning) and saw an e-mail from someone I didn't know. I open it up and the e-mail basically stated that my wife was having an affair. The woman went into pretty good detail, showing the texts and e-mails between her and the other man. I didn't believe it until I logged into my Facebook and saw the message from that same woman which said "Hey. I'm sorry but I have some bad news for you. Please check your e-mail." As it turns out, this woman who e-mailed me was the wife of the guy my wife is cheating on me with.
I can't believe this. This came out of left field. Our relationship was never in a rough spot, I have no clue what led to this. I'm really not sure what to do at this moment. | Got an e-mail from a woman which shows my wife is cheating on me. |
t3_2uc2c1 | tifu | TIFU by sipping too much water in class | So most people know that I drink a lot of water during class. My water bottle is 48 oz. One day, I was just sitting back in Human anatomy listening to a lecture about the skeletal system. I sipped a lot of water, but some of it got into my wind pipe. I had the natural urge to cough, but the water in my mouth would have sprayed all over my desk, so I forced my mouth to stay shut. I literally couldn't breath for 5 seconds. I then gulped everything in my mouth, including the air. Then I was able to cough. After coughing twice, I let out a big burp of the air I had swallowed earlier. Everyone was just staring at me when I looked up. It was completely silent for a good half minute before the teacher resumed. | Drank too much water, ended up coughing and burping during class. |
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