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t3_2zuzxc | tifu | TIFU by soaking a cat | I went on a camping trip a couple of weekends ago and it POURED. When I got home, I hung my dirty tarp over the rail of my front porch. Well today I go outside and one of my two cats (Hazel) is digging her claws in it.
I decided to wash it so I could put it away and get it out of their reach. I spread it out on my driveway and go to get the hose. When I come back Hazel has run under it so I squirt her and then clean that side off.
Then I set down the hose to flip the tarp over and my other cat, Katniss, runs over. I pick up the hose and squirt her, and when I set the thing back down it flips over and soaks me. | squirted my cats with a hose and got payback. |
t3_3ngvd0 | relationships | My [20 F] roommate [20 F] and my brother [19 M] started going out and it really pisses me off at this point | It's not the first time he's done this either. All three of us are fairly shy people, and it really pisses me off that every one of his girlfriends has been one of my closer friends, and once they start dating + beyond we rarely ever speak to each other again, because it feels awkward as hell. After the last time it happened, I confronted him about it, and he completely denied that it was awkward in any way.
March last year I learned that he would be attending the same university as me, which made me a bit uncomfortable at first. I told him that the only thing I care about as far as what he does in his spare time, is don't try to date any of my friends - and lo and behold within the second month of school it's started. As someone who doesn't have a lot of friends, losing another one in this fashion will really fucking hurt. | What the hell do I do about my little brother who just keeps leeching my friends from me to be his little girlfriends? |
t3_14w76m | tifu | TIFU by accidentally drinking someone else's 3 day old dip spit. | I was in the car having a coughing fit, so I reach back for heavenly relief from my water bottle. Unknown to me at the time, my best friend left his dip bottle containing spit/chewing tobacco in my car 3 days prior to this incident. This bottle happened to be identical to my water bottle. So I take a huge swig without looking at the bottle's contents...and it was not water as expected.
My first thought was to spit it out everywhere, but I was driving and would have fucked up the inside of my car reeeal bad. So I had no choice but to hold this vile shit in my mouth while simultaneously trying to decide what to do and resist the strong urge to puke everywhere. I finally was able to spit it back into the original bottle, and take a swig of my actual water. For those 30 seconds I had it in my mouth though, I thought it was the end for me. | always check what's in your bottle before taking a swig. Someone else's 3 day old spit/dip concoction is gross as fuck. |
t3_4v137f | relationship_advice | I (21/f) know my boyfriend (26/m) is lying to me. What the heck do I do?! | So I've been dating this guy for a little over a year. I can't say it's been the easiest relationship I've ever been in but at the end of every day regardless of how mad I am I always want to be right next to him. I can also say that I've had a little trust issues with him talking to other women. Not the kind of issues were if we're out in public and I see him talking to another girl I get jealous but his facebook and text messages. Not to mention he has a tinder and was using it last night when I was laying in bed sleeping. Although I haven't seen any real horrible messages on any of his social sites, the fact that he's using Tinder when I'm right there next to him is extremely unsettling. We're not suppose to be avidly looking for someone else, but isn't that what tinder is for? I don't know maybe I'm just being a little crazy but I always feel like he's being illusive or has something going on that I have no clue about. After getting into an argument the other night he admitted that he was at the bar with some friends and a girl was making another guy feel jealous by kissing on him. WTF like why is he letting other women kiss on him, and I asked him that. His response was "if anything it was a once in a lifetime experience". I know we're extremely different people but there are things I just really can't let go. I love the guy but it's always been obvious that he's not there...Regardless of that it hurts to know that I'm not enough, even though I'm always trying. | So do I confront my boyfriend about him lying and doing these things or do I wait it out and see it from a few other perspectives? |
t3_2gb75p | relationships | I [23M] don't know what to make of my girlfriend's [24F] words when she says she still loves her ex. | She's been in a 4-year relationship which ended last December and she's been with me since May. She loves me and I love her, and we're not just using that word without meaning it.
She ended that previous relationship because she says things weren't functioning and she just didn't want to be with him anymore. But, she also said that, even after breaking up, if you spend 4 years with someone and love that person for some time, you never actually stop loving them. She says she'd like to meet him for a coffee just to hear what's been happening in his life lately and she's done that before meeting me, but she can't do it anymore because he told her he wouldn't stand that because he wanted her back, so that makes her sad, she even cried. When she met him last time, she said she had no urge to go back to him, she just doesn't want him anymore, she wants to be with me.
But I can't get over the fact that she said she still loves him. I mean, I get that, you probably love someone whenever spending a lot time with them and it's weird to be strangers afterwords, but I have confused feeling.
On one hand I really understand, but on the other it makes me kind of jealous and sad.
I don't know, what do you guys think about this? | My girlfriend told me she still loves her ex, but would never be with him again. I'm confused. |
t3_2xhqqe | relationships | I [18F] am disturbed by my brother [13M]. | I was home alone so I sunbathed topless in the back garden, I had my earphones in so I didn't hear him come home and when I looked up my brother was standing over me blatantly staring at my boobs, I have no idea how long he had been standing there for.
I quickly put a top on and he said he was going to his room so I could take my top back off, and then not even ten minutes later he came back outside again and made a lame excuse but i know he was hoping to get another look but fortunately I still had my top on.
He's my brother he shouldn't be looking st me like that. Should I tell my parents about this? I don't want him to grow up being a pervert. | Should I tell my parents what happened? |
t3_rvdk4 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the story behind your most boneheaded traffic or parking ticket? | So I drove down to Chicago last week and stayed at my cousin's apartment. Like an idiot I parked within 15 feet of a fire hydrant without realizing it (got ticketed on Saturday) but I didn't realize I had received a ticket until Monday because I only checked on the car at night (too dark to see the ticket or hydrant), and didn't walk into the street to look at the driver's side window (where the ticket was). Turns out because I'm an idiot and only did a spot check on the car, I got re-ticketed on Monday. These were my first tickets of any kind.
So Reddit what idiotic moves have you made that resulted in you getting a ticket? | I parked in front a fire hydrant and didn't realize it, I basically didn't check on my car all weekend and as a result got not one, but two tickets (one Saturday and one Monday). I'm also now $200 poorer. |
t3_svn2l | AskReddit | Have you ever managed to talk your way out of a ticket? | Just curious what explanations or excuses have worked for people. My own story worked, but I doubt it would ever work again... for anyone.
Back in 1994 or so I was dealing with the full blown flu but my roommate needed a ride to the airport and I owed her. I drove down there feeling ok, but on the way back I started to get nauseous and just wanted to lay down. I was speeding, doing about 70 in a 60 zone just knowing I was going to throw up soon when a state trooper pulled out behind me and hit his lights.
* Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
* Me: "No, sorry."
* Officer: "You were moving a little more than 70. Any reason you're in such a rush?"
* Me: "I'm sick and just want to get home and get in bed."
* Officer: "Hung over?"
* Me: "Nope, just the flu... um, you might want to step back a bit."
* Officer: (moves closer) "Excuse me?"
* Me: (barfs all over Officer's pants and shoes) "sorry, I did try to warn you."
At this point there was no more talking, the trooper was just staring down at his shoes and motioned for me to go. I apologized again as I was wiping the vomit from my door and chin, then I drove home without a ticket. | Pulled over for speeding while sick, puked on cops shoes. |
t3_2h9883 | relationships | Should I (M 19)stay with my gf (F 19) who always brings up the past. | I'd just like some advice from someone else's point of view. I met my girlfriend in high school. We've dated since senior year, and we're going on our 2 year anniversary next month.
I have made a few mistakes during our time dating. The main one being that about a year ago, I went to a party with some friends, got extremely drunk and received oral from this girl I didn't care about. Quick story on that. I was drunk, and I did not initiate or try to get this to happen. I came into consciousness getting head and as soon as I realized what was going on, I quickly pushed her off and detached myself from the situation. I truly regret it and have ALWAYS felt guilty about it.
Back to my girlfriend. She's great, and I do love her, but she always brings up the past. We've talked about it tons of times and she cannot let our relationship move on. I know it should not have happened. But now I find myself wanting to start a new relationship with someone else just so that it's off the table.
I know I'm not a serial cheater. I feel awful about it and would take it back if I could. It seems to cause us tons of trouble, and she won't let it go. | Accidentally got drunk blowjob I did NOT want. No consent. GF won't move on no matter how hard I try to make it right. Constantly brings it up, causes fighting. Its been a year. I love her, but am unfortunately thinking about starting new. Not sure what to do. |
t3_27gjbq | relationships | Me [26 /F] 4years with a great guy [26/M]. Not sure if breaking up with him is wise. Haven't broken up with a good guy before-best way to do it? | So I've been in a relationship of almost 4years with this guy and he's great! But for the past few months I feel like we're just in the relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.. You know what I mean?
Breaking up with him has crossed my mind many times. Still tried to fix it (on my own) by consciously being the gf I was when we first got together. But it hasn't gotten the feelings back.
Not sure if breaking up would be best. If it is, not sure how to handle it as I haven't done that to someone as great as he is. I've broken up with guys in the past, but not to a good guy like this one. | Thinks about breaking up with SO but not sure about the whole thing |
t3_1r5qhj | relationships | Me [22 M] with my a [20 F] for a few months, she's legitimately busy but seems more and more distant. | So I've been with this girl for a few months, things were going great. We were hanging out 3-4 times a week, getting physical every once and a while, texting throughout the day etc etc. She is really into school and I totally respect that, and also does a hobby that requires her to go to competitions every once and a while. So understandably, she gets super busy, and I'm more than willing to give her space. When this happens, I put the ball totally in her court, she initiates texting every night and invites me over to relax once a week or so.
I'm totally cool with not being able to see or text her that often when she gets busy like this, but I can't help but feel she is kind of distant even when we do hang out. We still kiss, cuddle, I sleep in her bed, but we really haven't done anything past that in a long time.
So here is the dilemma, the distance when we hang out is kind of bothering me so I want to ask if she is still interested but I don't want to stress her out even more than she already is by making her feel she isn't giving me enough attention. If she is still into me, I'm totally cool with giving her as much space as she needs. But on the other hand, if she is losing interest I don't want to just slow burn away, I'd rather just know. Note that we haven't had "the talk", so I'm not sure if I could tie that into this as well.
---
So given the situation:
1. Do you think she is losing interest, and using her busy schedule as a way to break away from me?
2. Should I be upfront and ask her about it, or just let it go to avoid stressing her out further? | Girl I've been seeing is busy with school, I'm giving her space. When we do hang out she still seems a little distant. Should I ask her about this or not. |
t3_2tru4r | relationships | Me [16F] with my ex-boyfriend [18 M] 10 months, just broke up because we are incompatible but love each other still, how do we remain best friends? | My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for ten months when we had a (very) mutual break up two days ago. The reason being that we were constantly arguing and it was beginning to make me depressed. When I told him this he decided to end things with me because he could see I was unhappy and didn't want our relationship to drag on and on.
Yesterday I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and didn't want to lose my best friend because of our relationship etc etc and when he read it when we had a talk last night he agreed wholeheartedly that we couldn't lose our friendship because of a break up.
I am still in love with him and I believe he is with me, but I am hoping that these feelings will pass with time and we can focus on building our friendship.
Basically, I am unsure of how to go about remaining friends with him whilst we still love each other, but I know that being apart from him is something I would not be able to do as he is the one person I can confide in and trust.
Any idea of how I could go about being friends with him without our love complicating things? Getting back together is, for the moment, out of question. And not something either of us would consider doing. | my boyfriend and I just broke up because I was beginning to become depressed due to the constant fighting. We still love each other and want to stay best friends. How do I go about this? Is it even possible? |
t3_4jvcx5 | relationships | Me [22F] has feelings for my ex's [22 M] 5 years, friend...what are the unwritten rules around ex's friends | So my ex and I are completely over, he screwed me over one to many times. He's a fun person and someone I still care about but sleeping with someone else and never putting me first was the last straw! I don't see myself getting back with my ex, not unless he grows up. He moved on fast with an 18yr old!
Wondering what are the unwritten rules around dating seeing friends of your ex?
We have meet you and have had coffee before, which went really well, talked for 2 hours!
Where do I go from here? I want it to go further, just not sure if he does. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_3yh03s | relationships | I (28/F) am not sure how to proceed after my dad (60/M) spent $350 on perfume for me. | My dad buys me perfume every other year. This year, I asked for the same perfume I always do, along with a few other things. Christmas came and I received several wonderful presents, including perfume. However, this fragrance is one I don't generally wear - it's the same brand, but a different fragrance. My dad offhandedly mentioned how expensive it was, but I assumed that this fragrance costs the same as my perfume.
Today, I went to the store to exchange it and discovered that this version was $350. I have no clue why my dad spent that much when he's bought me perfume for years and therefore, presumably knows how much it costs. However, I exchanged the perfume and left with my perfume and a gift card for the remaining balance.
I'm seeing him for lunch on Tuesday and plan to give him the gift card with the remaining balance and explain what happened. However, my mom thinks I should just keep the money - he willingly spent it, so why give it back? I don't like this idea at all, but am curious if I'm making the right decision. In addition, is there anything I should say when I discuss this with him? I want to ensure that he doesn't feel embarrassed or silly, so anything that I could say that would alleviate those concerns would be helpful.
Relevant info:
* He is retired, but receives a yearly six figure "salary" (government employee) and he has no outstanding debts, etc.
* He is mentally sharp and therefore, I know he wasn't pressured by the salesperson to spend so much
* My parents have been divorced for a long time and my dad spends money/buys me presents to show his love/atone for his guilt | Dad accidentally bought me some ridiculously expensive perfume and I exchanged it for my preferred scent (which costs significantly less). Now have a $200 gift card that my mom doesn't think I should give to him. |
t3_qrpwr | loseit | Help! I don't even know where to start. | Okay, so I'm a college student and need help dieting. I was in great shape two years ago before I left for college. Now I've lost motivation and time to diet and exercise. I'm trying to motivate my boyfriend who has gained over the average "freshman 20" since we started. We both want to get back in shape and look like we did in high school but we fall off the tracks fast when tests come around and our time shrinks to a minimum. Things like drinking bottles of soda everyday and snacking at night are our biggest downfalls. We make dinner when we have time during the week. Does anyone have any recipes that are dirt cheap and easy to make but can help us get back on the right track and ready for the summer? Also if you know of any ~20 min workouts that really work that would be great too! That would be so much help thanks! :) | Cheap Healthy Recipes easy to make for college students with a busy schedule |
t3_rczvp | AskReddit | Alright reddit, the time has come, what's the best April Fools Day joke you've ever pulled? I'll start. | My freshman year of high school i put on the facebook Mar. 31 that i had gotten in a wreck with my mom and bro, they were fine but i had messed up my leg. Come to school the next day with crutches and a full leg brace my dad had from when he fudged his knee. The whole day was perfect. *No one* had a clue. I had people offering to carry my bags, teachers gave up their cushy office chairs for me, and *the* hottest girl in school carried my lunch tray to my table. It was so cash. The end of the day bell rang and we were all standing around chatting and i said "you know what guys? My leg doesnt hurt that bad anymore", dropped the crutches and ripped off the brace. Hilarity ensued. | Faked a broken leg, no one caught on for the entire school day, revealed truth at end of day. |
t3_3uizqt | relationships | Gf [23, F] broke up with me [23, m] after I had booked a flight to see her. (xpost /r/longdistance) | My gf and I have been dating for almost 4 years now. After 2 1/2, she ended it because it got too serious for her. We got back six months later and have dated since then.
However, I moved away for school in August, and she started a new job in another state. That job was really stressful, no weekends off, and one day off during the week. I ended up being the one paying for trips to see her every month.
My family got in the way of see her for Thanksgiving as they came to visit, and I was hesitant about saying yes to visit her for Christmas because I wanted to go see my cousins and grandparents back home.
We had a fight which lasted two weeks, but after visiting her again, we decided on me staying a week around New Years.
Less than a week after me booking this flight and confirming with her, she breaks up with me saying it's too stressful, and she's no longer confident about this relationship as I am.
As soon as the words breakup came out of her mouth, I booked another flight to see her next weekend. She didn't know. That was Monday. I got drunk Tuesday and blacked out, not talking to her till Wednesday. I told her about the flight next week, but she didn't say anything.
Today I sent a text asking "how are you?" and she called saying that she won't see me when I come next week and she'll avoid me.
I'm destroyed. I don't want to be the crazy ex. I want to save my relationship but I don't think that's even an option. I'm out almost $800+ on flights, not including transport to and from the airport. I don't know where to turn and how to pick myself up after this.
The last time we broke up, I let it happen, I ended up being hospitalised (preexisting health conditions) and ended up hating her. I don't want to just let it go this time. But how do I fight for it, while not crossing that line and being an obsessive ex? | ex broke up with me one week after I booked a flight to see her. Ended up booking another flight to see her next weekend and she told me she doesn't want to see me. |
t3_m1k1z | AskReddit | Is it weird that I enjoyed high school more than I've enjoyed college so far? | I'm not a freshman.
Socially, I was far happier in high school than I've been in college so far. I was able to survive in HS because it was easy for me to socialize with people outside of my school, whereas in college it feels like I'm trapped with the same demographic of people I was to some extent trying to escape in HS.
HS was also easier for me because there was a specific group of people I knew right from freshman year I knew I wanted to become friends with, and I did, gradually over time. Since they were all involved with stuff outside of school, like the local music scene, it was through them that I built a way bigger social circle of close friends.
Now at college, I haven't had anything close to that experience. I haven't really found anyone I really relate to. And I've also slowly realized that the type of people I'm socially attracted to don't really go to college, at least not expensive private ones.
Part of my problem is that I've had *close* friends for so long, that I've forgotten what it's like to not have them. And so for a lot of people I meet I think to myself, "is this person best friend material?" when I know it's just counter productive.
I've also realized that in HS, I became dependent on the company of extreme extroverts, who socially advertise the type of people they, and I, are interested in, but I'm not used to attracting on my own, since I'm not really like the type of person I'm interested in being around. I like the company of people who are outwardly unabashedly weird, and really only care about making any situation fun, regardless f whether or not it's immature, both characteristics I really don't share. I enjoy the company of people who aren't like me who make life more interesting and force me out of my shell. | I liked highschool more than college. I like to be around extroverted weirdos. I'm neither of those things. |
t3_2x40lu | relationships | Me [27M] taking my best friend on a first date [21F], how does my plan sound? | I worked up the courage to ask out my best friend on a date after realising I had feelings for her. She likes me too but maybe not as much (worried about losing our friendship). So now I get the chance to take her on a date (a whole day!) and I want it to blow her mind. How does my plan sound?
-Meet late morning
-Two small-ish science exhibitions (we both like science)
-Lunch in a cosy cafe
-Bus over to romantic hill walk overlooking city
-First kiss???
-Bus back to the city
-Something to kill an hour or two (movie?)
-Dinner at a nice restaurant
-Drinks at a fancy basement bar thing
Maybe it's too much but I want it to be so special that she forgets her doubts about us! | First date with best friend. Review my plan! |
t3_1p7u7f | relationships | I'm(19m) debating whether or not my almost 2 month ldr with my girlfriend (19f) will last. | So we met a little over 2 months ago and decided to go out about a week after we met. We facetime every night and have had about 5 visits since we met. Since we met though her texts throughout the day have gotten shorter she has put less and less effort into them where some are just one word at this point. I feel like also she is wearing the pants, because she is the one with the car to come see me, the job, and in general has a busier life so I am usually the one waiting on her to facetime at night.
Now a little from her past. She's told me she's almost always been in a relationship and has cheated once. The person she cheated on with ended up being her boyfriend for about a year and a half though, but also he was extremely controlling and it was a horrible relationship. Between the time she broke up with him and met me, she had a mff threesome with a couple on her dance crew. This wouldn't have been a problem with me except for the fact this dance crew has parties where everyone stays the night. Also, due to the fact that she admitted she was screwing around with both members of the threesome behind the others back.
She's coming to visit on halloween weekend, but is only staying a night with me, because she wants to go out with two groups of friends. She keeps saying that it sucks we only get one night together even though I mentioned going out with her friends and then coming back to my place to spend the night and she said no.
Despite this I really like this girl a lot. I've never gotten along with someone so well either. I don't know this part of the relationship is getting hard, because I feel like she might leave me. | I'm unsure if my relationship will last by the way it is headed. |
t3_3qu9fy | relationships | My[32/M] friends have concerns about my [21/F] girlfriend of 2 years' sexual proclivities. How do I reassure them? | My girlfriend has, in the last 6 months, become much more sexually confident and keen to experiment. Her libido is significantly higher than mine (she wants sex 2-3 times a day at least while i'm more of a couple of times a week) and over the last six months she became more vocal about her desire to have sex with other people but finding her jealous streak made it difficult to offer the same to me. I don't really have any interest in doing so in either case and so long as we are equal in the relationship (our sexual limits are respected equally) I agreed to go with the flow. Since then she has had sex with a number of other people in and outside of our social circle and has made it known to others what our agreement is. As a result I now have a number of friends who have decided that she is using me and I am being weak by going along with this? I've tried to reassure them that I feel equal in the relationship but they seem to think i'm simply going along with it for an easy life. | Girlfriend has sex with others, I don't. Friends think i'm being used. How do I persuade them otherwise? |
t3_2yxioh | relationship_advice | [25M] Mutual feelings with a girl [22F] who has a boyfriend. What would you do? | I'll try not to make this too long. Started working at this company a little less than a year ago, meet girl, there's mutual attraction, I decide against asking her out because she is a coworker. A few months into it, she gets a bf, but there is constant flirting and signs of attraction from her. We hook up multiple times, she tells me recently she has strong feelings for me, I like her a lot.
Never been in a situation like this before, and now I've realized it's really not a good idea to get involved with a girl in a relationship, but I'm here now and I have feelings for her.
Would you just break it off to avoid getting your feelings hurt even more? I feel like this might be the better option because a. I don't want to 'wait' for her to be single again and b. I don't want to have an exclusive relationship with a girl who cheats. But then again, I still want to see her because I do really like her. What are your thoughts? | Mutual feelings between a girl with a bf and myself, feelings growing stronger, not sure what to do. |
t3_29lytn | offmychest | Should I stay or should I go? | This is my first time posting here, and I don't know if someone will actually take their time to read this, but I guess i just feel comfort in releasing my thoughts.
I recently came to live with my brother, who lives far from my home, to take care of my two nieces while he and his wife work in the morning.
Before coming, I had visions of working out, practicing on my writing, and my summer school work, but it's been three weeks since then and I haven't done one thing and im pretty sure that I've gained a bit of weight as I used to work out 5 days a week. I feel useless and believe that I'd be more productive back home. I also have tickets to a concert, that I had purchased days before knowing that I would come to live with my brother and I don't want them to go to waste as they were expensive. There's also driving lessons that I have to take before I return school.
I want to leave, but I can't, not without feeling guilty. It's always that guilt that stops me from being I don't know, selfish? And if I do choose to go my way, the dilemma remains in my thoughts. I don't want to leave because I feel like he needs me, and don't get me wrong I want to be there, but this is my summer before I return to high school for senior year and I want to progress in areas I mentioned before. I don't know if I'm being a drama queen or if it's reasonable for me to leave back home. I just don't want leave on bad terms. Should I leave in a few days or in a week and a half. Thinking about it now, it doesn't seem so bad but still. | I don't know how to shorten what I've said so it ok to ignore my post. |
t3_4whhw9 | relationships | [M/21] Need advice on wether or not I should write a text to my ex girlfriend. | So recently my ex girlfriend broke up with me and I was devastated. I thought to myself and I blamed everything on her, but somehow I got a spiritual awakening today and I realized I was contributing to the relationship end as much as she did. I did a lot of things wrong, I already started making changes in my life and I feel great. Thanks to her break up I feel like I am stronger and more connected to my heart. I would like to write her a message and thank her for leaving me because it was one of the best experiences I ever felt because now I have started my journey of becoming the best version of myself. I feel like I must thank her in some way. Do you think I should write to her in some weeks or I should not write to her at all? | Ex girlfriend broke up with me, it was one of the best things ever happening in my life, now I am a better person thanks to that experience, should I write a letter to her and thank her for that? |
t3_3h40v9 | relationships | Me [24M] with my roommate [27M] of one year, is an absolute pig and I have to basically threaten him for him to clean up after his 6 cats and his dishes. | I've been living with this guy for a little over a year now. He has 2 adult cats and 4 kittens now which is utterly ridiculous for a single male. I can't even use the common space because he lets them do whatever, so I just stay in my room with my cat. I don't subject her to the rest of the house and the mess because I don't want to be responsible for that mess.
I asked him to clean up last week around Wednesday. Yesterday morning at 9am, I sent him a text saying, "Dude please clean the cat litter boxes because it's smells so fucking bad." He didn't respond until 5pm and said "okay my bad." It's Saturday, 1pm, and he is just sitting in his room playing video games and drinking beer.
This is starting to get highly annoying and the smell and mess of him is just getting so bad I can't take it anymore.
My situation is I'm trying to get out of debt that I did not incur(family put me in debt at a young age) and I don't think I can find an apartment to myself currently that is affordable and I have zero savings as I'm trying to get this debt paid off.
What are all of my options here? | Roommate is a pig, won't clean up, what are my options as to what to do? |
t3_3j0fb1 | relationships | My [29M] wife [28F] (2 years) and I can't seem to agree on when to start trying to get pregnant. She's ready, I'm not. | I want to make it clear that I definitely want kids with my wife, but I just don't feel ready yet. There are just some things that I feel like I want/need to do before we become parents.
For one, I'd like to travel to Italy. I've always wanted to go, and I figure that we may not have a chance for a long time if we don't go now. All things considered, I guess it's not the most important thing in the world, but I don't want to have regrets later in life because I didn't get to do the things I wanted when I was young.
I also think we aren't ready financially. It would be nice to have more in our savings account (and maybe have a better insurance plan before we have kids). We just need to get enough ahead so that we have a cushion in case we need it.
Finally, although I have known my wife for 5 years, I think it would be nice to have another year or two as a couple before we make an addition to our family.
All of these are things that, in all honesty, aren't huge issues, but I'd feel a ton better about having this child if I could do these things beforehand.
However, my wife is ready NOW! She wants to start trying immediately and doesn't really understand why I insist on waiting. I know that she is eager to get pregnant, since she wants this and sees how happy our friends are that have children, but I just want her to slow down and really think about the situation. I don't know how to make my perspective more clear when she is only focused on one thing.
We have had many conversations, but she just doesn't understand why I feel the need to do these things. She has admitted that she is afraid I'm changing my mind, even though I've assured her that I'm not, so that could be part of the problem. We just don't seem to be making any progress here, and I'm not sure if it's because we're not listening to each other or what. | Wife and I disagree over the timetable to start trying for a baby. We're not making any progress. |
t3_3sid1y | relationships | Me [22 M] with my close friend [22 F] who now doesnt care about me at all | I moved to a new city and got pretty close to a person at work. It was clear neither of us was interested in the other, so we were close in a platonic way. We'd chat on messenger and work IM all the time, and we'd hang out at work during our breaks plenty. We also hungout outside of work. As we got closer we started to share more personal things because it just felt right.
Then one week I felt really down. I just graduated college and moved to a new city (first time ive ever done this on my own). Im going through some big life transitions, and I talked to her about it. I told her that I kind of wish I prepared myself for the real world better because sometimes its a lot for me to get adjusted to. I feel a lot of pressure sometimes due to these life transitions. I told her I sometimes feel immature and theres some things id like to improve going jnto adulthood like people skills. We met for coffee and talked about it for an hour a couple weeks ago. Coincidentally, this was the same point she started hitting it off with her ex.
Ever since things just havent been the same. Its like she just wants me out of her life at this point. At first she told me that the talk she had with me during my down week was overwhelming. Ever since shes just been pushing me away. She is very cold to me now and clearly does not care much about me. At this point i wish i never opened up to her, it really sucks to put a lot of trust into someone to have them kick you to the curb essentially.
Did I fuck up by sharing too much? Is she justified in her actions? Its been pretty damn hard on me since this is my first time in a new city and im also getting used to big life transitions. She was my one close friend out here. How do I go about handling this and making it easier on myself? | got close to a friend. Shared some pretty personal things with her because I trusted her. Now she doesnt care much about me. Did I fuck up? How do I make this easier on myself? |
t3_kxvhg | AskReddit | Nastiest thing you've ever had in your mouth? | One time, I went to McDonald's with some friends. I was in the back seat and I ordered a sweet tea. I drank about half of it that day and left it in a cupholder in the back of his car. Flash forward about about three weeks and i'm in his car again. I absent-mindedly pick up the drink and take a sip, but something's wrong. The drink has a distinct chunkiness to it. So I open the cup to discover that the entire bottom of the cup is covered in some kind of black fuzz except for the one spot where I slurped up whatever the fuck the black shit was. I threw the cup out the window and almost threw up. | I drank mold out of a three-week old cup of iced tea. |
t3_393udp | relationships | Friend (F22) of mine (F22) just had baby, lying to the "father" (M24) | I have a friend who I've known since the 7th grade. She was my only friend since everyone else bullied us. We have kept in touch over the years and still talk.
She just had a baby girl a couple days ago. She confided in me that her boyfriend is not the father, but he thinks he is. She told me she has no plan of ever telling him that he is not the father. She cheated on her boyfriend with another close guy friend of hers and got pregnant. She never told her current boyfriend about the affair, so he has no idea. She is 100% certain the baby is not his, but she wants the perfect family, and she envisions it with him.
Problem is, her and I are more distant friends at this point. We don't hang out in person; we talk using messaging. I've never met her boyfriend either. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to say something.
I'm not sure what to do at this point. Do I just leave the situation alone? Do I say something to him? Since we are not close friends, I feel like it might be better to not say anything and let him find out on his own. But another part of me feels guilty if I say nothing. | An old friend of mine just had a baby, and is lying to her boyfriend that the baby is his. She has no plans of ever telling him about it. |
t3_3401f3 | relationships | I [27 M] never loved my wife [27 F] 6 years | This has always been in the back of my mind and it only seems to get worse as time progresses. I met my wife 6 years ago and we started dating right out the gate. The relationship escalated too quickly and we ended up pregnant. At 21, I was still just a kid scared shitless. I didn't truly understand what was waiting for me, but I talked to family and friends and decided that we could somehow manage to make it work.
Well, here I am 6 years later with a single child and married to a woman that I never loved and never can love. I don't mean to sound like a prick, but it's just something that's not there. She has my loyalty as her child's father, but beyond that I cannot honestly give myself to her.
She often asks me about how I'm feeling toward her; if I love her. I respond with a quick lie and reassure her that everything will be alright. The worst part of all this is that she's a terrific wife and mother. She loves me deeply and I can tell she cares for our family.
I know I'm not the first to experience this, and there may be some people living this life right now. The best way to describe how I'm feeling right now is it's like I've built a dam to contain all my emotions, insecurities, and whatever else that could possibly threaten the security of my family, but every day that passes leaves a small crack in my wall. I feel like I'll eventually have to confess what I'm really feeling to my wife.
My daughter is the only reason I haven't gotten a divorce or even spoke to my wife about my feelings. I feel like the worst thing I could do to my daughter is separate with her mother. How can a child cope with that and not blame themselves?
I'm so conflicted. Just looking for anything or anyone out there. | I don't love my wife, but I don't want to break up my family because of my daughter. What do I do? |
t3_4myh0b | relationships | [29 M] I hurt someone's feelings and am overwhelmed with guilt. | I went out for drinks on Friday with someone that I work with. She is 28/F. We went back to my place afterward. I was very clear before we had sex that I was not interested in a relationship. We did anyway.
Last night, she came over to watch some NetFlix and we cuddled a bit, but nothing serious. I wasn't really looking too far into it.
That is when things went wrong. I made the unfortunate decision of making a joke about one of the other girls at the office being jealous. She got really hurt and talked about how she is always the second choice. How I just confirmed what she had thought since Saturday. How every guy she has been with has "used" her.
I feel horrible. I don't consider myself to be a bad person. I apologized several times and gave her a lift home. I don't really know what else to say or do? | I hooked up with someone from the office and now her feelings are hurt. I feel horrible, and am not sure what, if anything, to do. |
t3_3vh84v | tifu | TIFU by setting my alarm clock | This was just a few minutes ago. I was setting my alarm clock because I get up earlier on the weekends. Now, normally I check to make sure my beagle is not in my bedroom before setting my alarm clock, he's not. I need to make sure because one day a few years ago our shitty house alarm went off due to low battery. But when we replaced it we found the wrong alarm was beeping and so we went to the store and bought enough batteries to replace each one (this took >45 minutes). Bear in mind this was not a warning beep but a full on 'grab your kids everything you know is melting' alarm. My dog was horrified by the noise and crawled under a bed where we couldn't take him outside to quiet safety. Ever since then he has been TERRIFIED of high pitch alarms. So back to today, I'm setting my alarm clock and it always plays the alarm as a confirmation so you know you set it. I forgot that I had turned up the volume to max because the ihome has the off and volume up buttons somewhat near each other and I pressed the wrong one while getting up. Normally, I dial it back down, but this morning, for whatever reason, I forgot. As I confirm the time for my alarm, it starts blaring even uncomfortably loud for me. My dog, who was hiding under the sheets I threw on the floor, immediately jumps up and runs into the wall head first. I open my door and escort him out while he's thrashing about trying to remove the sheets. I run to my alarm and quiet it down, but its too late. my dog is under my mom's bed and is shivering right now while I pet the half of his body sticking out. | My dog panicked when I set the alarm and now there is a sizable dent the size of my dog's face near my bedroom door |
t3_2biayz | relationship_advice | Moving forward or moving on? | Hi All,
Could use some help on my current situation, any if any advice you could offer is much appreciated!
I started seeing this girl around 6 months ago. We were hitting it off, though we were moving pretty slow (not a problem, just something to note). Come May our relationship was not official but going strong. June rolls around and work/travel picks up. We start to fall out of contact and don't see each other as much anymore.
She called me last night asking if we should just be friends. Her concern is that if we would've fallen for each other, it would have happened by now. My take is that in order for that to happen, we need to see / talk to each far more than we do. We're definitely attracted to each other and really enjoy our time together, so I told her we'd go out to dinner tomorrow and take it from there (to which she agreed).
Have any of you had a similar situation? | took 10 steps forward, 5 steps back, dunno which way to go |
t3_2u6f5l | relationships | How do I approach my fiance [19F] about a problem I [20 M] have with one of her features? duration, short-description | Okay, so we've been together four and a half years now, engaged for half a year. We're perfectly happy together and I love the girl so much.
But the problem is that she's got this very slight bit of hair on her top lip and even though it's barely visible unless I'm practically kissing her, it does bug me when I notice it. I should mention that it has never actually stopped me finding her beautiful or doing anything with her.
I've always avoided saying anything because I don't want to completely knock her self-confidence, but I feel like I'm being dishonest with her by not saying anything at all.
How do I approach this and bring it up without sounding like a complete twat? | Fiance has barely visible hair on top lip, don't know how to bring it up to her. |
t3_1df5b3 | BreakUps | me, [19f] can;t seem to get over insane relationship with ex bf [19m]. any advice welcome | I have been dating this guy back in highschool for 2 years. To sum everything up, we were soulmates. We were getting on extremely well, etc, it seemed like a real bound. Then, he strated to change, became a needy person which then turned into a psychotic one. From the things I have been put through:
-sexual harassment – he said that me having sex with him was a proof of love.
-humiliation – after having sex with him for the first time (it was obvious it had been my first time) he said he is sure I am a whore and that he was not the first guy I have ever slept with
-constant threat of dumping me, whenever something didn't please him enough. he would go into relationships only to "make me cry". He would often say "you have yet to cry for what you've done to me"
And I sewar to jesus Christ that I have been a perfect gf. Very caring, thoughtful, etc.
He is now in a relationship with a chick I've told everything about our relationship to, so she knows what I've been through. We spoke again, I had to humiliate people and things for him, in order to get back "when their relationship would end". I didn't do that completely, because those people are my friends. He got so mad, he blocked me everywhere and, knowing that I have cancer, told me to go and fucking die.
This may sound weird, but I'm crying my eyes our right now. I can't possibly move on, before going nuts, we were soulmates. I know he loves me too and I know it's the best for me to let it go, but I fear he might have been the love of my life. I've never wanted to be someone's carpet. Any advice, good word is highly appreciated.
How can i get over? | before going nuts, a guy was just my soulmate. he is not anymore and i am devastated. what do? |
t3_egvy9 | AskReddit | What are you drinking tonight? And what's playing on your computer? | I fucked it up with this girl I was dating. Intelligent, well-read, attractive, Catholic, wanted kids some day, and caring. But I said some things that made her think I was only into her for sex, and it started an avalanche of problems. That's not to say I didn't want to have sex with her, I'm not gay, it's just, I wanted so much more than that.
So now I'm sitting here drinking a coke, I tried mixing it with alcohol, realized that's not the kind of man I am, so I dumped it out and grabbed a new can. I've got Reunion by Stars playing in the background. I won't be able to sleep for a while I'm sure. It was fun while it lasted Emma.
So | what's playing, and what are you drinking? |
t3_4dpyio | relationships | My ex [16 M] and I [16 F] broke up for a little over a month, still not over each other | My ex-boyfriend, "Peter", and I were together since we were in 13. Our relationship was always under the radar even among our friends so we could spend time alone together and so that our parents would never find out about our relationship.
However, we broke up at the end of February because his mom was under the impression he had a girlfriend and he didn't want to break her trust anymore. I completely understand, but it just hurts so much to see him every day and see little things that remind me of him. The worst part is, most of our friends don't even know we broke up but I'm still in so much pain that I don't even want to bother explaining.
I know Peter still likes me because he said so when he broke up with me and evidently, I'm still over hung up over him as well. Is there anything I can do to ease the pain of knowing that we can't be together? | Broke up a little over a month ago, still share mutual feelings with ex, can't be together thus causing a lot of emotional pain. |
t3_2epron | dating_advice | He seems friendly online but stand-offish in person. | I'm a 26 year old female and am quite attracted to a guy I work with (he's early 30s). He can be quite quiet though we've been talking more recently. We have some common interests and I have felt a bit of a spark when talking to him. I decided to try to get to know him better and sent him a couple of casual, chatty IMs at work. He was friendly and responsive and kept the conversation going, asked me for book recommendations for his holiday. I added him on Facebook and sent a follow up message a few days later, just briefly suggesting another book I'd just finished. He got back to me and said he loved that author and asked if I'd heard said author's radio show. We sent a couple more messages, but he never replied to the last one I sent, which was a little longer though pretty open-ended. I don't get the sense that he's a big Facebook user. Yesterday was the first time I've seen him at work since any of these conversations took place. He knocked on my open door to ask a question (I don't think he went out of his way to find me - my door was open and I was sitting closest to the front door of the office, and it's a question he needed to ask someone). He didn't seem as friendly as I would've expected - he didn't make any conversation, just pretty much got the info he needed then left. Today I spoke to him a little while in a group of people and kind of felt like he wasn't making eye contact with me or speaking to me directly.
If he hadn't been responsive to my chatting to him, I would just assume he had no interest in me and give up, but I'm a little bit puzzled. I also don't think I've made any romantic interest so blatantly obvious that he would have any reason to be stand-offish with me if he just wasn't interested. Actually, I find it really hard to let anyone know I like them and suspect I'm quite hard to read.
Any thoughts on what his behaviour might mean and what I should do, if anything?
Thanks! | struck up conversation with a colleague via IM and Facebook and he seemed receptive but now seems a little stand-offish in person. Not interested? |
t3_umaqw | dating_advice | I want to try and start something with a girl I know, but don't know how to do it or if it's a good idea? | I'm 18 [M] and just graduated high school. The girl in question just turned 17 and is still in high school. She lives about half an hour away and I met her through a mutual friend and took her to prom with me. I really liked her and we had a great time, but I didn't really expect to see her again. However, a few days ago she texted me and wants to hang out. It is difficult for me to tell wether or not she is actually interested in me, which makes it hard for me to figure out how to proceed from here. Also, I will be going to college in a few months. She has said she would visit me in college (not relationship related, came up in conversation), but I really don't know if starting something so close to that huge change in my life is really a good idea/actually worth it. In short, I need advice! | I [18] have feelings for a girl [17] I took to prom, but am unsure if she has feelings for me. She wants to hang out, and lives about 30 min away. I will be going to college in a few months and don't know if it would be worth trying to start something so close to that event. I need advice. |
t3_2q1r4b | relationships | Me [20's M] with my EX20'sF duration: 3 Years, Getting back together having jealousy issues. | Me and my Ex [20's F] Dated for 3 years. We have been Long Distance for 1 year. She broke up with me 3 months ago, due to a new job that brought her down emotionally and was projecting it onto our relationship. Same thing was happening with me we were both unhappy with where our relationship was (distance+new jobs)
Back story: Me and this girl are very compatible. We get a long well and really had a great relationship until we both started our new jobs (We live 5 hours apart). We have the same values, goals, aspirations a lot of the same hobbies. Just a good couple.
After breaking up we went no contact for 3 months. Minus one instance of small talk. A couple days ago she called me and told me she missed me and wanted to do whatever she could to get me back. I would be lying if I didn't still have feelings for her so I said I'd talk. She drives to my city and we chat and have a great conversation. We ended up discussing if we are dating anybody. I was casually dating somebody. She wasn't anymore, but had been on a couple of dates. Then we bring up sex.. I admit I had slept with another girl and it didn't mean anything. She admits she slept with two guys, didn't mean anything. We hashed out some of our issues leading up to the breakup and mainly set a end date to the long distance (which was a major issue, we didn't have one).
Problem: She said she never fell out of love with me and that she hooked up with the guys because she was trying to go through the process of getting over me but afterwords just made her feel worse and miss me. I hooked up with my girl for the same reason and it made me feel worse and miss her as well.
I'm having a hard time understanding why I'm jealous of the guys she was with while we were broken up. Yea I still had feelings I get that, but I did the same thing. She was actually more concerned with the girl I was taking on dates then the girl I slept with. | Me and Ex of 3 years are trying to get back together. Need help understanding why I'm jealous of people she dated during break up, if it's okay to have these feelings and want to talk about them with her. Is this normal? Never gotten back together with an ex before. |
t3_y7j70 | relationship_advice | [28/m] my boyfriend [18/m] doesn't want to get a job, but likes to spend | Alright reddit, time for advice. I've dealt my share in my day, now I'm using my anonymous account to ask, simply because my boyfriend sometimes uses my computer and I don't want him to see this.
So I'm 28, boyfriend is 18. We have been together 9 months. He doesn't drive, but I managed to get him a job where I worked. But I was out sick for a few days and we both were unemployed. I managed to find myself a job within 2 weeks, and I'm barely able to support us.
In five weeks, he hasn't even had an interview. We live near a public transit system, so transportation isn't an excuse. I've offered to get him an interview at my job, but he messed around and the job opening passed.
I do handyman work for extra cash, and whenever he helps I'll pay him a bit. He does occasionally say "Let's do dinner, my treat", or a movie. He has a hobby of keeping snakes, which has become pricey. All he wants to do is watch tv and draw (he's a good artist). I'd end it, but I feel for him because his mother refuses to let him come home, and he has no friends that would let him crash there. My question, reddit, is what do I do? Do I keep pushing him? Do I end it? Give him an ultimatum? I love him, I really do. But I can't support us both much longer... | love my boyfriend to death, he likes to spend money, but he won't get a job. |
t3_4zo6fa | personalfinance | making some terrible decisions, need help fast.... | quick background on me-
29 years old, living at home with my family for about another year until I get married to my girlfriend (proposing next month! plan to be married next summer)
I was always bad with money, I suck at saving, and spend my money on useless things most the time....
back in September I got $56k in savings (that's a whole nother long story)... sounds like a second chance at doing this savings thing right, right? wrong. I spent $10k of it already.... about $4k went to paying off credit card debt (good?) and the other I used to book my summer trips such as hotels, airfare, other related expenses (bad).
I propose to my gf next month so I will probably have to dip into the savings again to get the rest of the engagement ring money (probably $5k).....
I need serious advice here on what to do with this savings money. I know I am an adult and can make my own decisions (and should) but do you think I should just put the rest into some account I can't touch (because I clearly have NO self control), or do you think I should invest it in some stocks or some other type of account?
I don't want you guys to think I am a complete asshole with my money.. thankfully I am fortunate to be having a very successful year at work.. my job is base salary + commission and right now I have already made about $65k+ and am on pace to get close to $90k or so by the time the year is up.
I still have $5k left in credit card debt which I would LOVE to take out of my savings and finally end my debt but I don't know if that is the right move either..... | version: |
t3_2yodu6 | relationships | Me [19M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 10 months. I love her, and she is so compatible with me. I feel like she is getting bored/growing distant even though she denies it. | I've known this girl for a year, things got serious a few months later. We share loads of passions, see each other often, communicate pretty well (most of the time) and generally have loads of fun together.
Lately, it seems to me that she is becoming more distant and I'm afraid that she could be growing bored of our relationship. We used to both organise dates for each other, now it is mostly up to me. We used to both get really excited for the stuff we were gonna do, now I feel mostly alone in my enthusiasm for spending time together. Not so long ago, she would go crazy waiting to jump on me and rip my clothes off in bed. I can still work her up into this kind of frenzy but I have to do all the initiating and work now, which is a bummer. I feel like I can't make her laugh as much as I used to. These changes have come along pretty quickly, within just a few weeks or so.
One thing I should note is that she still *says* all the right things, but that passion, that enthusiasm that she used to have for me, it's all gone.
I have not become lazy in regards to organising date nights or stuff to do together and telling her my feelings for her, and I have been very careful not to overwhelm her with these things. I have also talked to her about how I feel she is becoming distant, she heavily denies it and if I ask again she gets pretty annoyed/upset that I don't believe her. When I admit I don't believe her, she gets even more angry.
Is it possible all of these things are in my head? I don't want to be with someone who isn't excited to be with me, but it's hard to let go of how amazing for me she used to be. These changes have been fairly quick, I wonder if they might revert. I feel it's in my best interests for my own mental health to break up with her, even though I love her to bits, but I would rather try and fix things. | I feel like my girlfriend is losing interest in our relationship even though she denies it, not sure what to do. |
t3_31adfu | relationships | What should I do to become friends with my [21 F] ex-girlfriend [26 F] duration of 2 years? | My ex-girlfriend (26 F) and I had been struggling with our relationship for at least four months now. We had been dating for two years. Yesterday she broke up with me over me feeling upset and disappointed about something unreasonable, and she more or less felt that being right was more important than being with me. We spoke on the phone today and I have since gotten closure and am confident of moving on in the near future, and will not be trying to get back with her or anything of that sort.
Throughout our relationship she had been my best friend and confidante. I feel like I want to keep this aspect of our relationship even though we have broken up romantically, reason being that I am very comfortable around her and am very used to her companionship. In my possibly biased opinion, we would make great best friends if there aren't any romantic feelings in the way. We are very different people and could complement each other in friendship.
What should I do to head in the direction of being best friends (or even just friends first) with her? What should I avoid doing completely in order not to alienate that option? We are most likely going No Contact for the time being, but is there anything that I should not do (e.g., get a rebound etc) in the mean time? | Ex-girlfriend broke up with me and I have no intention of trying to get back with her, but I'd like to remain friends. What should I do in the mean time to make that happen? |
t3_14jygm | relationships | discovered [29f] that my boyfriend [29m] isn't over his ex (from approx. 4 years ago). | hey r/relationships. i [29f] don't post here often, but really need some advice. i was browsing reddit randomly (i'm admittedly not a regular user) and came across a post that was actually written by my BF [29m]. we live together and have been dating for nearly 3 years. naturally, it's fairly serious by this point, we've talked marriage, future, etc. here is his post:
"There is always the one that got away... the one that still hurts. I'll spare you all the gory details, unless you want them later, but suffice it to say that due to my shortsightedness and immaturity I feel like I lost the one girl that I was meant to be with. It's now been 4 years since I broke up with her and I still think about her pretty much every day."
as i read the post, i felt that feeling… shaking, after being punched in the gut and having all of your energy completely drained. i approached him about his post (of course i was very upset) and he assured me that it was just a 'moment of weakness', just a day where he felt 'self-indulgent' and that he truly cared about me. i wasn't necessarily angry at him, a person can't help how they feel and i respect that. we talked about our relationship and pretty much smoothed things over - he's been very loving otherwise & I like to think we have a pretty healthy relationship. but I can't get over this so easily, especially feeling like i'm constantly being compared to someone else in some other context, and the fact that he clearly feels like maybe i'm not the person he was 'meant to be with'.
What do you think? Am I hanging onto something that's trivial? Or are we choosing a 'healthy relationship' and mediocrity over something that's real? | my [29f] live-in BF [29m] of 3yrs is still stuck on his ex, regretting choices he made 4 years ago, thus challenging the legitimacy of our relationship. |
t3_sqkg9 | AskReddit | While driving, I often consider the trust I have that approaching vehicles won't cross the center line, and vice versa. What other constructs of society do we rely on, and possibly take for granted? | It occurs to me often that there is very little keeping drivers from fatal accidents, billions of times per day, across the globe. We seem to trust that every driver on the road is not only competent in the most basic sense, but also not a homicidal maniac.
A bit of context: I found myself on an empty highway late at night, facing two white lights ahead of me that seemed to be getting closer. I realized quickly enough that they were headlights, attached to a big-ass truck. The grassy median between north-bound and south-bound lanes is wide enough for this person to be driving toward me intentionally, or if not toward me, than toward anyone too slow to avoid him (or her). I changed out of the center lane with a look of horror on my face, thankful that they did not decide to meet me in this lane as well. It got me thinking how many basic understandings of co-habitation most people have for each other, whereas if they didn't exist, we'd be living like Mad fucking Max. | in which ways do we trust strangers not to put our lives in danger/kill us where it would otherwise be simple for them to do so? |
t3_21qfcg | relationships | Am I [21F] being too sensitive about my boyfriend's [21M] attitude? | My BF and I have been together for about six months, and neither of us have many 'group' hobbies. He mostly games, writes, and watches movies with his mates, and I like reading, going to the gym, and other traditionally solo stuff.
I feel like we don't have much to say to each other, and we always end up just hanging out doing nothing when we're together. I try to suggest things to do, but he tends to shoot them down - if he does acquiesce, I feel like I'm dragging him along and stopping him from doing whatever he would have otherwise.
We've talked about it, but he's apathetic and neither of us really knows what to do. His apathy extends beyond just spending time with me: he doesn't have any particular passion or ambition in life, and it drags me down. And then I feel bad about it dragging me down.
Maybe it's just my insecurity, but this is getting harder and harder to deal with. I don't feel good enough to interest him in my company. Does anyone have some insight, suggestions, or criticism? | BF is unambitious, bored, and kind of boring. It feels like my fault. Communication didn't help. What do? |
t3_435wa7 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my gf [18 F] 3 years, EMERGENCY SUMMER PROBLEM | I go to a service academy. My girlfriend goes to a normal college. We are doing great, see each other about once a month. Longer though for Christmas and Summer breaks. Because of this I will be training for about 2/3 of the summer break. The last 1/3 I will go home and spend all my time with her.
However, I just found out that she was offered a long internship that could potentially be very far away. I am excited that she is getting offers like this, but I still want to spend time with her. I do not want to be selfish because she does a lot for me, but I am really worried about this. | What should I be thinking or saying right now? |
t3_29lvs2 | relationships | My (28F) boyfriend's (28M) friends (28M, 29M) are causing problems for our relationship with their lies | My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years (known each other for 10 years). We always dabbled in recreational drugs but nothing got out of hand. Some of my best memories are shrooming together or taking E and talking and bonding all night. We have occasionally done these things with his two friends, also.
The problem is that in the last 2 years, both of his friends got married to women who don't approve of recreational drug use of any kind. And they don't want to give up their parties. This was an issue at each of their bachelor parties, and now at another guys' weekend they just went on. All of the guys (my boyfriend, and his 2 married friends) partook in party drugs, but my boyfriend was sworn to secrecy because the other guys are afraid that I will tell their wives.
I feel like these guys put me and my boyfriend both in really awkward positions. He's not going to lie to me, obviously, even though his friends asked him to. And I'm friends with their wives, as is my boyfriend, so they are forcing us to lie.
It's not just the drugs...also strip clubs. Same deal. They all go, I don't have a problem with it, but my boyfriend is supposed to keep it a secret from me.
I really don't know how to handle this. My boyfriend agrees the guys are in the wrong, which is why he was up front with me about everything that happened even though they asked him not to be. But now I feel like I'm lying to the wives, and it makes me really uncomfortable that the guys want my boyfriend to lie to me.
I doubt these incidents are going to end any time soon although they only come up once or twice a year. What should I do? | Boyfriend's friends like to take drugs and go to strip clubs and hide this from their wives. They asked my boyfriend to also hide it from me. He didn't, and now I know too much and am a liar accomplice. |
t3_16xpy3 | relationships | [25M] with a cheating [22F] wife | I'm 25m, and my wife (22f) of a little over 2 years has cheated on me twice since we've been married. We've never really had any problems in our relationship, except this.
The first instance was around Thanksgiving 2011. It was during a month apart where she moved first, and I was going to follow shortly (a month) after. She ended up going to the bar with some friends and ended up taking a guy back to the apartment so he didn't have to get a cab back and she would just drive him in the morning.
It ended up with them back at the apartment drinking more, and, as far as the details my wife told me about it, she was pretty much wasted and blacked out, and she "woke up" in the middle of intercourse, and she told him to stop and he did.
The second incident was last night. She had a friend over and we were watching some TV, playing some video games, and she and her friend were drinking. Even on the weekends I tend to go to bed at a respectable hour, so when I got tired I did.
Around 3:45am I woke up and I creeped out of the bedroom and I saw him on top of her in the middle of sex on the couch. I'm not sure what to do, and wasn't spotted, so I go back into the bedroom and grab my phone. I walk back toward the bedroom door and my wife catches me.
I end up being really depressed, and before I got into some trouble for kicking the other guy's ass, he ends up leaving. She comes into the room later with a knife and says she's going to kill herself. I obviously take it from her, and we talk about it.
4 hours later, I'm sitting here typing this on Reddit. My wife says she still loves me, and I believe her to an extent. I'm in need of some help, because if I leave her I think she'll end up doing something crazy like killing herself, and there's no way I can deal with that.
Should I just end the marriage, Reddit? What if she does kill herself if I leave her? Should I feel guilty for that? What can I do? | wife of 2 years cheated on me twice, she's emotionally unstable and may kill herself if the marriage is ended |
t3_3cqqww | relationships | Paranoid about cheating | To start off I(m21) trust my now girlfriend(f19) as much as I can. We are coming up on our one year anniversary and she has never given me any reason to believe she isn't completely devoted. However many of my past relationships I have been cheated on or I have been the other guy. Because of this I can't quite shake the worry about it happening again. I do not give her any reason to think have these troubled thoughts and we have as close to a perfect relationship as I could ask for.
Any advice on how-to shake these feelings? What percentage of relationships have infidelity? Thoughts?
She doesn't deserve to not be trusted and it eats me up. Because of this any advice is appreciated. | I have no reason to suspect my girlfriend but I have anxiety about cheating from past experiences. |
t3_xm96p | AskReddit | My boss may be a cheat, and my group may be losing funding. What should I do? | So I am an undergraduate researcher at my university. I won't give away my university or area of study, also using a throwaway. I'll just say I am on the west coast and work in a lab. If my description is too vague I'm sorry, but trying to keep anyone from knowing me.
I have been working in this department for about 6 months now. Doing low-level stuff, and basically what you expect a young undergrad to do in research. I thought everyone was going well, until a couple days ago.
I recently discovered there is a few problems in the lab, namely budget. There is a strange situation of an abundance of grad students. We have close to 10. But 2 of them are not even paid, which I didn't know. They actually have other jobs and come in to do research for free.
I also found out that my boss (not the professor, but the grad student who hired me) was involved in a bit of a scandalous situation with a paper and taking work from other grad students. This all happened right before I joined and was kept so hush hush that I never suspected anything. (I was actually warned by a grad student to be careful around my boss, as in I met get screwed over.)
Has anyone in research dealt with something like this? Should I talk to my boss? Should I try to get into a new research group? Or is this kind of thing common and should I just learn to navigate it and look out for myself? | Recently found out my research group is in trouble with funding, and my boss was involved in possibly stealing research/denying authorships on a paper. What can I do? |
t3_lms7a | AskReddit | New cat, need advice (x-post from /r/cats). | So, I adopted a cat three weeks ago and I need some training advice.
In the beginning, he was pretty laid back and we only had one bathroom incident on the first day, so we weren't too worried since it was probably nerves. However, for the past 3-4 days he has been going crazy. He shit on the steps leading up to my roommate's room a few days ago. Then, he crapped in the bathtub yesterday, was hissing at the turtle's aquarium (something he's never done before), and peed in my room. We also found a pee stain on the steps, but weren't sure when it happened. To boot, he crapped in the hallway ten minutes ago.
Up until now, he had been using his litterbox just fine, and still uses it mostly. Really, his only problem was that he meowed incessantly. He is not neutered yet, but is going to the vet tomorrow morning to determine if he is healthy enough to have the surgery done. Once the vet gives it the green-light, he's getting snipped. I've been told this will take care of a lot of the problems, but I am guessing there's some more training necessary. I've started using a spray bottle, but haven't done so long enough to tell if it is effective, although he is not a fan of the bottle at all.
Thanks for your help folks. | the cat I got three weeks ago has recently started shitting and pissing all over the house and being territorial towards my pet turtle. Need advice. |
t3_2w63zl | loseit | Wanting to start a weight loss journey without triggering an eating disorder relapse | Hi all!
I'm a lurker to this sub as well as /r/fitness and /r/c25k for a while now, and I am also about 10-11 months into recovery from six years of anorexia/bulimia. I'm a 21 year old college student posied to graduate in May. Last winter, I finally told my parents and got help, and now I don't use any destructive restrictive or purging behaviors.
I am now mentally healthy and sound, and I love my body, but I want to be in better shape and I would like to lose some weight. I never got "stick thin," even at the height of my ED I was still classified as overweight. So while I do want to lose some weight, I am very nervous about this because I don't want to relapse or trigger any "bad" behaviors. I don't currently weigh myself because that's really triggering for me, but I know that I probably have 50 pounds to lose (I gained more weight when I stopped the starving and purging because I basically had no clue how to eat).
I am looking for any advice here...I know counting calories is a surefire way to help lose weight, but I guess I'm just nervous about using MFP, since I used to use it for not so noble reasons. I'm working on couch to 5k and also on incorporating walking 20-30 minutes per day into my daily routine. Another issue I face is that as a college student, I do not have a kitchen, so I have to rely on dining hall food very frequently. I also do have a therapist and a nutritionist who I talk to about all this stuff, but I find it really helps me to hear from other people who have been there.
Is there anyone out there who used to have an ED who went on to lose weight in a safe, healthy way? I would love to hear from you! Thanks :) | I used to have an eating disorder, now I've overcome it and am looking for ways to safely and happily lose weight without relapsing. |
t3_2ikhc5 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my crush [21 F], not sure what she meant | I have been talking to this girl for about 3 years, but nothing was really serious due to long distance and different time zones (We used to live 12 time zones apart.) Recently, I moved back to the country and we started talking almost daily. We share some common undergrounds and we respect each other. She seems to be really sweet, but sometimes she is too shy to talk/text to me. I always try to bring up a topic so that we can talk to each other.
We have met a few times during the past 3 months: Dinner, coffee chat, pretty casual... Even we live in the same country, she is still 10 hours away. Recently, I have asked her if she would be interested in meeting me during weekend or so. She told me that if I come to her city for work then we could meet. I explicitly told her that I dont have any travel plan for work at the moment and would like to come and meet her only. She refused and used family thing as an excuse. She even mentioned that she does not want me to spend time and money on her. I am confused because we continue to talk shits every day.
I do really want to meet her in person. But my question is... is she not interested in me? How should I approach this? | She refuses to meet me in person unless I travel to her city for work. Is she not interested in me? |
t3_3bwchd | relationships | [23 M], my [24 F] girlfriend had an incident with a coworker, not sure how to handle | Story as it was explained to me by her: My gf recently started a new job, and went out after work with a group of coworkers for drinks. Eventually the group dwindled down to just her and one other male coworker, the restaurant they were at is near her house and since it was closing and they wanted to continue talking they went back to her house.
Once at her house and continuing to talk, he kissed her. She says she was surprised, he asked to kiss her again, she said no, he left. Next day at work she talked to him about how it was wrong for him to do that, he has a wife and kids and she has a boyfriend not appropriate etc., he apologized.
She was open about this and told me what happened etc, it sounds like she handled it fine in the moment. However what still nags at me is the fact that it even got to that point where she invited a guy she does not know well back to her house after a night of drinking, it just does not look good. Basically I can see what he thought was happening and he made his move.
Is it unfair for me to question why she did that? I know she did not ask him to make that move, but she did create a situation where he could have interpreted that was where things were heading and to me it doesn't seem appropriate given they just met and are both in relationships. | my gf invited new male coworker to her house since it was near a bar they were at after work, he kissed her and she kicked him out. Am I wrong to question her for bringing him there in the first place? |
t3_47pcvb | relationships | I[18/F] feel like my best friend[17/F] is choosing her boyfriend over me. Non-romantic | My best friend moved away a couple of years ago and has gotten a boyfriend about 6 months ago. Even though they haven't been dating for a year yet, they seem pretty head over heels for each other. I haven't seen her since my birthday.
She's coming to visit me this March break and I thought it would be fun if we drove out to the city and went on a shopping trip. However she recently told me that she's bringing her boyfriend and probably won't go shopping with me because he's there and I have a feeling we wont be able to hang out at all because he'll be there.
They are basically inseparable from each other and see each other everyday. I feel like my best friend is choosing him or like he's stealing her from me. I hate it and don't know what to do or if I should bring it up to her. | My best friend is choosing to spend time with her boyfriend instead of me after not seeing each other for months. |
t3_uy9po | AskReddit | How do I optimize my year old "normal" laptop for gaming? | Hey, reddit. So I have a VAIO laptop with an intel premium 1.87ghz processor, 4gigs of ram, and 1751mb of virtual memory. The game I want to play is Starcraft 2 and I do, at the very minimum settings but it still lags( I get 20fps at the beggining of games but during big attacks it usually drops to 6fps making micro impossible). I have game booster installed and active I also frequently de-frag my computer.
I know one many people will say "buy a new computer" but that's not in my budget right now. It will be in a month or 2 but not now. | I have a crappy laptop and game booster and am looking to run SC2 on lowest settings lag-free. Help me please! |
t3_1130jv | AskReddit | I've been confronted with Circus themes/circus related things, by chance, all week and it freaks me out. DAE have recurring phenomena in their lives? | It's really strange. Last week monday, my girlfriend went to go see Cirque du Soleil with her work. She told me all about it the next day. That evening we went to go see the new Madagascar and I had no idea that it had a circus theme. At this point I didn't even think anything of it. a few days later, a freakin circus (a small one) opened up next door to me in the park. Weekend came, I went out with a few friends to a bar in my city. Sitting outside with a bunch of random people drinking, having a good time... I started accidentally talking to this guy from Ecuador, he suddenly starts to do some magic tricks with his cigarette and a playing card. He was really good and I asked him where he learnt that. He immediately took out his wallet and handed me his business card. He works as an acrobat for Cirque Soleil. So I told my friend next to me that this guy was working for the Circus... We continued chatting... Then it dawned on me (camera Hitchcock Zoom style)... Everyone around me, the entirety of the populous outside the bar chatting away were from the fucking circus.
I was introduced to every last one through our Ecuadorian acquaintance. I met the director, the musicians, the acrobats, makeup artists even the freakin tour bus drivers.
I had a really good time and they were extremely interesting people!
And just to add the last fucking cherry on the cake. I work in film and study film at a documentary film school. We aren't that many students in the film department. Maybe 30 in the all (3 year program). One guy from my school showed up at the bar as we were leaving. I've never seen any of the people from my school out randomly. This dude, from the 3rd year just finished his diploma documentary film. Guess what it is on? yepp, a circus. He followed around a circus for half a year. He had no idea about the circus peeps being there.
WTF??? | I'm being haunted by Circus people and themes. |
t3_1fmt1x | relationship_advice | [21/f] I'm always the one to ask if I can stay over at my bf's (26/m). | I have a boyfriend of 10months and I think we spend about 4 nights/wk together. Recently I got this impression that it's always me who asks if I can stay over. He never says no but... I don't know, I feel sad that he never wants me to come over during the week.
I visited him at work (we work/study in the same building) just to see his face yesterday and he didn't seem very happy to see me so I just went back home after like... 30 secs. He hasn't really texted me or anything since yesterday so I'm kind of sad now.
I really want to see him tonight and spend the night together but I don't want to be the one to ask again. | Want to see my boyfriend tonight but I'm afraid I'd smother him. What should I do? |
t3_4jyk9o | relationships | Very pregnant (32F) and just found a ton of awful shit in my husband's (38M) past. What do? | Where to start. We've been married 6 years together 11.
Looking through emails and Facebook messages he's in the past flirted with a couple of old acquaintances. Gotten dirty pictures from them and sent some of his own. He swears up and down he never met with them or had any physical contact at all despite asking where one lived and what she was doing certain days.
Upon further digging I have found several emails reaching out to craigslist ads for men, gloryholes, bj's etc. He has not admitted to any of the CL activity other than saying it was a way to obtain photos. That I can understand (not forgive entirely but understand) but when he gives details about when he would be available to show up and participate that's another story. He's obviously looking to act on these thoughts in my opinion. Granted I had to go back aways to find this stuff 3 or 4 years in some cases. But I don't think that makes it ok as we've been married for 6 and together much longer than that. I'd like to think he's quit doing this sort of thing but maybe he just uses a different email address or is better about deleting emails idk.
My head is spinning. I feel that we are over. Is there any chance that if he has stopped all of this and we go to counseling we could maybe try and fix this? Why am I soooo calm right this minute? | husband of 6 years cruising craigslist for men. Is there any hope with counseling? Also I'm 8 months pregnant yay. |
t3_2t1oew | travel | Backpacking in April - May, recommendations? | [This was originally posted in /r/backpacking, but there are more people here so I'm hoping I will get more of a varied response.]
Hey all,
I'm from Ottawa, Canada and I've been saving up to do a trip for a month or two at the end of my work term in late March/ early April. I'm looking for recommendations on where I should go. Some things to consider: weather, cost, events and festivals. I have friends that are living in China starting in March and they want me to go with them, although I'd be going there and then heading off to other S/E Asian countries like Thailand (and then India etc.). On the other hand, I have a friend who's currently in Peru, who has been travelling around South America for the past few months who'd like it if I met them there.
I'm 23, I will have paid off my student loans by mid February and I'll have around $6-8000 to live off of thereafter. Obviously I'd like to keep costs down as much as possible. So where should I go? What festivals, events, places etc are a must see for you? What should I absolutely avoid? | Basics: |
t3_1hg116 | relationships | Me [20M] is it worth waiting for a girl [19F] | Hey /r/relationships, I'm in a bit of a sticky situations. A month ago, I met a really amazing girl , and we just seemed to really connect. Started seeing each other 2-3 times a week and talked a lot on a daily basis. However recently, I brought up the exclusive talk, but she said she was scared to commit and does not know what she wants because of how her past relationship ended. She told me that she really enjoys my company, however I'm uncertain whether or not she'll come around. I really love what we have going right now but should I wait till she comes around or should I drop what we have right now?
Thanks /r/relationships ! | Is it worth waiting for a girl that's not ready for commitment. |
t3_fy8b7 | AskReddit | Help me be a know it all (Astronomy). | I'm taking an online Astronomy class, so naturally I wait til the last minute to do all the quizzes and exams, and use the internet to gather pretty much all of my answers. The last question was a true or false and it read, "Uranus' axial tilt is the largest of the planets in the solar system."
So I learn a bit about axial tilt, read that Uranus basically revolves on its side, and am ready to answer true until I read about Venus. Venus' axial tilt is 177*, which essentially means that it has basically no tilt, but revolves in retrograde motion (it revolves in the opposite direction of most planets, because its upside down). So I answered False. Answer was true. I want to contest (the only reason i want to contest this one is because I got a question wrong earlier in the class because I said Pluto was a planet - never forget), but I dont want to link wikipedia. I found some pages on NASA's website, but a lot of the times they'll say its 3*, and just ignore the fact that its upside down. | can anyone find an reliable sources (not wikipedia) that Venus' axial tilt is 177*. |
t3_4jk18x | relationships | how do I [f21] break it off with the guy [m32] that I still have feelings for? | To be short and to the point- I have been seeing someone for 1 month, and at first he was everything that I could have possibly wanted. But lately- things have taken a turn for the worst and his ex-wife has come back into the picture. He's a mess, and I want to be there for him, but he's been horrible and snappy and won't even look at me most days and refuses to talk about it. I still care for him, and adore him- but I think it's for the best if we just end it while he goes through this so I can be there for him as a friend. What do I do? | How do I break it off with someone I still have feelings for? |
t3_4rgfma | relationships | Me [25F] with my SIL [40/F] won't stop begging for money I'm tired of it. | My SIL does work but keeps begging for money. She knows that we don't make a lot right now and all of our money goes for bills, gas, food and school supplies for the upcoming year.
Her and her husband are horrible with finances. She gets paid weekly so its only a little over $100. But instead of paying her bills they waste it. Buying video games, jewelry, coloring books for her 12 year old. Just like that.
She always depends on others bailing her out money wise. Her kids had to go without electric and water for 7 months because she refused to pay the bills. Got churches to leave pay instead.
Churches are also paying for her house renovations.
Today she called wanting me to pay her lot rent. I told her I could not help her as I have my own bills. I asked her why she didn't pay Friday when she got her paycheck. Her excuse was her daughter wanted a $100 outfit from a popular store so she got that.
Her and her husband blew up on me telling me I'm selfish to not help. They tried to guilt me by saying if they don't pay today than the landlord will make them move their trailer and they can't afford that. I held my ground and refused.
Churches won't help her anymore and I feel its not my job to enable her. She's now taken to facebook telling the world how evil I am and its my fault her kids will lose their home. How to deal with the aftermath and get everyone to understand the truth? | SIL is bitch trying to turn everyone against me. How to deal with the public fallout? |
t3_34ul2y | relationships | Me [23F] with my boyfriend [29 M] year & a half, missing condoms | To keep this brief, my boyfriend and I were getting ready to do the deed a couple of weeks ago, but before we started I went to grab a condom. When looking through them, I noticed four (of the seven we had) were missing. I asked him immediately if he knew anything about it and he seemed just as confused as I was, but I still left the situation feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing.
I have no reason not to trust him. We've hardly even gotten in a fight in the year and a half we've been together, and we generally spend most days together other than when we're in class or at work. I know it sounds ridiculous and I know it will hurt our relationship if I continue to let this fester, but, due to a previous relationship, my trust is kind of fragile.
Also, before this situation we were in a pretty rocky place due to a move and stress from school where I was craving intimacy and his drive was really low which put us at each others' throats. One day in particular, he took his car in for some work that he said would take about an hour or two and it ended up taking five. During those five hours, we were texting back and forth about an argument we had the night before about whether or not we should break up because he couldn't "give me what I wanted", and there were about two hours during that time where he didn't text me back at all and I've felt weird about it ever since.
I recognize I have no concrete evidence or even a REAL reason to assume he's cheating on me, I'm just terrified of it being true and, of course, the hurt that comes from that :(
basically | condoms went missing and I feel weird about believing my boyfriend when he says he doesn't know where they went because I'm a terrible girlfriend. |
t3_fvxx0 | relationships | 20F, boyfriend wants to videotape | So, me and my boyfriend (he's 22) have been together for 7 months. We are going to be long distance for about a month and a half. He wants to videotape us having sex, and I don't want to. He says he wants the videos so that he can have stuff to remember me by while we're apart...but he has also been bringing up the videos for a few months, even when we weren't long distance. What complicates all fo this is that, originally, I said yes to the videotapes. Then I realized "holy sh*t..my future." I talked to him about it, and deleted them.
He feels hurt that I deleted them, and hurt that I don't want to make more. I've offered a compromise of doing a video, but without my face in it, so no one who accidentally saw it could recognize me.He still isn't happy with that. He asks why I don't want to: I say it's because of the risks, that if someone saw the video, it would be humiliating, not to mention if the video somehow got out. He says it won't get out- but the thing is..you never know, and I just feel like it's a very high risk to take? I'm just not comfortable with the idea of it. I've heard stories of women's careers being ruined over sex tapes.
I also don't like the attitude he takes to me saying no. For example, we were about to have sex, he asked if he could video, I said no, and he then refused sex. He has done this about 3 times. And when I deleted the videos he refused to do anything physical with me beyond a small kiss on the lips and wouldn't say "I love you" for 2 days.
The thing is, he has been very giving in the kinks I have. My concern is that if I don't respond to his kinks, then I am being selfish and an overall bad girlfriend.
What do you all think? | Boyfriend wants sex tapes, I don't want to do them, and I want to know if i'm being irrational. |
t3_4aa3li | jobs | Should I start looking for a new job? | I'm 18 years old, and I just started my first job a week ago. I've worked six days, and I work for a local fast food shop. I'm drive-thru, and I'm terrible at it. I enjoy working with people, but I'm not a fast-paced person. They tell us to get our time for people at the window around 2:10, but I'm consistently getting 2:50. I don't see any signs of improvement, and being bad at the job stresses me out a lot. I go home unhappy with my performance and in general.
I've worked under the table before for a construction contractor, and I know I'm a hard-worker. I've worked hard manual jobs, for entire days. I also know I work best with people. It's not that I'm lazy, or don't like talking to people. I'm just unhappy, while also being paid minimal wage.
My sixteen year old cousin who lives with me works a much easier job with a 50 cent pay increase, and I've worked longer than him. I won't get a pay raise until 6 months.
So, I want to change jobs. I want to work retail somewhere like Target, where we're not constantly fast-paced, and I can still work with people. I want to see if I can get paid more than minimum wage (although that's not my priority), and just have a job where it doesn't stress me out because I'm performing poorly. However, I've only been at this job for a week. I have no prior experience. I have references I can use, but I'm afraid since I've only been at this job for a week, that'll look poorly on my record, forever.
In your opinion, do you think it'll be okay for me to start job searching for another job, one where I can enjoy more, or due to my inexperience, should I just be unhappy, have bad job performance, but build my experience before searching for another job? And if so, how long should I wait? | I'm a perfectionist, in a fast-food job that I'm terrible at. I've only been working here for a week, but I want to move to a job in a different type of business (not fast food). Should I start looking for a new job, or stay to build experience, despite being unhappy and bad at it? |
t3_2fnh2l | tifu | TIFU by fucking up a neighbor's car | This happened to me back in 2008, I was 11 years old and didn't have anything to do as we were in summer in our apartment (back from vacations for one night my parents had something to do) so I was bored like hell and my older sister was using the computer. I was chilling, reading some funny comic books those one page gags, and one of them featured someone doing a prank on his schoolmates throwing water balloons at them and this is where I fucked up. I thought of filling plastic with water instead of balloons and throwing them off the balcony, fourth floor apartment would be fun but I've never been so wrong. The problem is there's a parking lot down there, so after a couple of bags my hands were watery and throwing the third it kinda slipped and went down 25 meters right on a car's roof, making a huge sound and the car's owner was just below me, saw his car then looked right up as I went back in the living room just as he saw me and realized what just happened. At first I thought " Meh nothing bad must have happened to his car it's just water " but then again I was wrong, 10 minutes later the concierge ringed from downstairs asking me what the hell did I do and why did I fuck up his car. My heart beat was increasing more and more, but I ignored him and tried to calm myself. When my parents got back home an hour later, they were REALLY pissed at me and asked me a lot of questions thinking I threw a bag full of stones. They said His car roof was fucked badly, luckily he was so nice he didn't even ask them for repair cost (something like a hundred bucks). I've never felt so retarded that day. | Was bored as hell, imitated something funny I read in comic books and fucked up someone's car. |
t3_4j7kc9 | relationships | I [22 F] started new relationship with my new boyfriend [22 M] and can't stop hearing my ex'es name in my head when being intimate with my current boyfriend. | Hello, fellow redditors. I'm not usually the one to ask for advice and It is not a big problem but I want to hear some opinions about my situation from you all. Sometimes a view from the other side is helpful and useful.
So, the situation is that more than half a year ago I broke up with my ex with whom I've been for more than 5 years. Relationship with him was bad in many ways, he was a good person but we really were just too different and he is a very difficult person. Last year of our relationship was really bad, I felt stressed and scared because of his character and I was very unhappy with him. So finally I left him and started to live alone.
After a while I found one awesome person with whom I went and still go to climbing trainings. After half a year of training together and going to competitions but not really doing anything more, we finally saw that we like each other and we started a very beautiful relationship. I'm with him only for a month and two weeks but I feel optimistic and I really can't imagine a better person for me. I really enjoy being with him, spending time, talking, we have similar interests, opinions, etc. I feel very happy with him. But there's one little but. When I start to be intimate with him, when everything seems to be perfect and things starting to get hot, I caught myself almost saying my ex'es name. I think It's just because my last relationship lasted very long and I didn't have any other boyfriend before. But I don't like thinking about him when I'm with someone else. I don't miss my last relationship, I'm happy with my current one.
Does this happened to any of you? How do you deal with it? Does saying that time can heal this would be right? | I started new relationship and can't forget fully my ex and it irritates me sometimes. |
t3_g9xpl | AskReddit | Hey Reddit-What was the most insane thing that happened to you in high school (or school in general)? | What brings this question about is a story of my own. When I was a freshman in high school in 2003. This was right around the anthrax mail scares that year. I was to make up an exam after class with my English teacher, so as soon as I got out of my last class I headed over to the classroom. Low and behold when I got there there was no one in the class but all the student belongings and books were still open and all around the classroom. I thought it was weird but I sat down anyway in an empty desk and waited for my teacher. When no one arrived for 10 minutes I had enough waiting and went to go find my teacher. As I leave the classroom I am confronted by a police officer telling me I shouldn't have gone in there and now have to be quarantined until the early results came back from the CDC. I was then stuck in the school for another 7 and a half hours. Surprisingly the powder they found was not anthrax at all, but some type of toxic mold, so yay for public schools! | school thought I had anthrax turns out I was just exposed to toxic mold |
t3_134q4w | relationships | Need advice on how to cope from being dumped seemingly out of nowhere by [m21]. [f20] | We were together until a few days ago for two years. Everything seemed fine until the night before the break up. We had just celebrated our anniversary not even five days before with him seeming happy that we made it this far.
We hardly fought, and I gave a lot more than he did. Partially because of compensation for the beginning of our relationship, which I caused trouble from having a lot of emotional baggage, and also because I wanted to put extra effort into making him as happy as he made me.
He nonchalantly dumped me as I was leaving his apartment. He was acting strange the night before, but when I arrived he was acting pretty normal. As the night progressed he started acting strangely.
When he broke up with me, he just said "I think we should break up." I was shocked and asked why and panicked and said I loved him and I wanted to know why. He wouldn't say until a few hours later, saying that I was more in love with him than he was me, and that I never had my own opinions and always agreed. (I did this because I did agree most of the time, but when I did disagree, I avoided saying so to avoid fighting because fights make me anxious) He also mentioned that he felt guilty for going out with his friends because I never spent time with mine and always with him. I'm more of a homebody and don't mind when he spends time with his friends. We were together on a nightly basis and that seemed fine.
He said we could give it time, but I want to talk about trying to salvage things. A lot of his reasons sounded fixable, and I'm willing to change for the person I love. I don't want to throw away this two year relationship and I can't see myself loving anyone else. I don't know how long to wait until I try to talk to him again. | Got dumped after a two year seemingly great relationship with explanation that I had no friends of my own, loved more than he did and never had my own opinion. Out of nowhere, it seemed. I don't want this to end. I don't know what to do or how to cope. |
t3_hgywh | AskReddit | AskReddit: Has anyone removed themselves from someone's life to improve that persons life? | Inspired by [this post](
This is what I've recently done with, what could possibly be, my last friend. She was the only person I've connected with in a *vary* long time. We used to talk for hours and hours, and could share things with each other that we couldn't do with *anyone* else (and I mean *priiiiiiivate* things*) . Recently though things have been changing and we've been growing apart, which has been hard for me to say the least. My other friends have all left state, and now with her drifting away, I'm alone and too socially awkward and shy to make new friends (even on the internet or in games with people I have things in common with). I don't even know where to begin.
Anyway I could tell I've probably been acting clingy because I miss her so much. I miss talking with her, I miss trying to be there when she needs me, and I miss having her as a close friend above all else. I'm fairly sure she's been avoiding me, and that cuts me deep. The thing is I don't want to be a problem for her, so I've told her we should stop talking (I think she's too sweet to call it off, or maybe she just felt sorry for me). She didn't fight or argue which made it easy, but that also just confirms my belief she wants to end our friendship too. She'll be better off without me, but I can't say the same for myself. I haven't talked with another human longer than a few minuets in about a week now, and before I met her, that was common. Well I'm *not* going back to that misery, I'm glad she'll never know what became of me...I don't want to hurt her, I mean, that would defeat the purpose of ending our friendship at all. I would hate to have her live with that guilt (even though it's not her fault). | forever alone + helium exit bag. |
t3_20cw03 | relationships | My best friend (23f)'s baby nephew is going to pass away, how do I support her during her grieving? | My best friend (we are both female, both 23, and have been besties for 5 years) has a nephew who was born in October. He was born 3 months premature and has struggled with lung and heart problems. He has had multiple surgeries, but his condition has only been deteriorating. In the last few days the doctors told the family to begin preparing to say goodbye, as the baby's chances of recovery are very very very slim and his passing is imminent. He is now on life support and is unable to breathe on his own.
I'm totally lost with how to help my friend in this situation. We've both dealt with death and loss before, but only of people our age or older. The loss of a baby, a life that's never been lived, is something I'm wholly unfamiliar with. I want to do everything I can to support her through her grieving process, but I don't know how to approach the situation. Any guidance, advice, resources, or stories of how you helped yourself or others would be so, so appreciated. You're all wonderful! | A baby is going to pass away and I need help with how to comfort my friend when it happens |
t3_4kdyyr | offmychest | I fucked up and now a friend hates me | I never wanted to hurt him. I never thought it'd go this way.
I accidentally got matched online with my friend's ex-gf without me knowing it was her. Then she made me promise to never tell him. We ended up casually chatting, though I felt guilty, I didn't have any intentions. However, I never had such good chats with a stranger before, things changed. My friend guaranteed me that he was 100% done with her and I figured I could tell him what was up once there was need for it.
However, contact between her and me faded, we never met up. Then suddenly, I get a message from my friend, saying she had sent him screenshots of our conversations. Of course he was mad that we were in contact and I wanted to meet up with her. He mentioned some things which made me think that that girl lied to him, manipulated him, used me to get him back. Both of them already told me stories before that suggested she's a psychopath.
Within that one message, he told me to not even dare sending him a reply, an excuse, or anything else ever for that matter, not in chat nor in person. He never wants to see me ever again.
I have seen him a few times at school since it happened (2 weeks ago). The hatred in his eyes. It hurts. I want to tell him that this was not just a random thing. That I did care about our friendship and to watch out for her. I don't need him to forgive me or to forget the situation. I know that I did a bad thing, no matter the intentions I started out with, but I think he's been manipulated into thinking it's all way worse.
I want to tell him, but how strongly he wrote to never want to hear from me again, and his eyes, it all makes me afraid and I don't know whether to even do it. I don't know if that would do any good and maybe it's just better to take this as a learning experience. I can't get it out of my head. Not now at least. | I fucked up, hurting my friend. My friend won't allow me to explain and I think he's being manipulated. |
t3_28xq8e | relationships | Me [50s M]with my wife [50s F] duration 20y; Spouse has Internet addiction -- HELP!!! | My wife of 20+ years spends every waking moment playing FarmVille, answering e-mail and talking on Facebook. I do virtually all the cooking or we get takeout. She does do certain things around the house such as laundry and general cleaning, which I acknowledge and appreciate. However, she has no time for watching TV together, cuddling or having a conversation because "she has to go up and check email." When I go into the computer room she's just playing FarmVille. It makes me so angry.
I've confronted her several times about it, both politely and more forcefully. I've brought it up at our Marriage Encounters group and at home. This "addiction" has been going on for at least 5 years now. She says in her defense that she has "stress" (her father died in 2012, and both our mothers are in their 80s and suffering dementia), but I have stress too...
We have some other issues as well, including dead bedroom and mild depression (both). Is it time for serious couples therapy? Where do we find resources? What can we expect?
Guess what she is doing right now? I'm at my wits end. Help!!! | wife spends every waking moment on the PC - no time for our marriage. |
t3_1ffghl | relationships | Unsatisfied becasue I (26m) seem to have a higher sex drive than my girlfriend (20f) | How can I ask my girlfriend to have sex with me more? We talked about it last night but it did not go well. She said she is too busy and exhausted half the time and wants to do other things with me besides just have sex... which I totally understand and am game for! But having sex once a week, if that, just isn't cutting it for me. If she could just give me 10 minutes when we see each other every other time I'd be soo happy. But she doesn't want to be a sexual object to me and I'd hate her to feel that way. How can we have sex more while keeping her feeling happy?? Also, masturbation doesn't fulfill my desires... trust me i've tried lol | I want lots of sex, girlfriend just wants it occasionally when she's in the mood |
t3_23ioo0 | relationships | I[18M] am confused with how to text with my friend[17F]. | So to start off, this girl and I have really hit it off. We've known eachother for years but this is the first time we've ever talked about being romantically interested in eachother. However, my last relationship ended because we just ran out of things to talk about. I want to know from anyone how to handle a situation where you cant think of anything meaningful to text about(IE lazy day in) and how to end a conversation after it's reached that lull. I am home often with nothing to do so I have a lot of free time, I'm just worried that if I spend too much time texting things between us will just get boring. I suppose what I'm really wondering here is how to end a conversation when it reaches a dull in the action and start talking maybe a few hours later. | I want to know how to handle a situation where a text convo gets boring, do I make up a fake excuse to leave the convo for a bit or how do I handle it. |
t3_145a0d | AskReddit | Boyfriend made out with another girl in bed next to me. Should I be this upset? | Basically my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. After some very long discussions, we decided with me moving out of state, to maybe open our relationship a little. I was very clear that I wanted rules and boundaries, as not to hurt anyone. I told him, I understood if he went out drinking and kissed a girl. But I wanted to know before the grapevine told me.
Well today I had a small going away get together. Everyone has some drinks (enough that we could still hold conversations and function , so not trashed) my friend is laying in bed with my boyfriend and I and her "friend with benefits" came to pick her up. I was like "okay you two say goodbye" all of the sudden, with me laying there in the full sized bed, they start making out.. It was long enough that even with me clearing my throat and shit they didn't stop. I managed to hit my bf and give him a cut it out look but they continued. I then left the room, waited downstairs for fifteen minutes before calling a friend to get me.
I haves talked to my boyfriend and he is not the kind of guy to do this, but all he said was I'm sorry. He claims he doesn't know what else to say..
Reddit, am I overreacting? | boyfriend made out with friend in bed next to me. |
t3_11lpuy | AskReddit | Planning to try and get off of disability and reenter the workforce (in the US). What are some steps I should take in order to make it work? | Hey, everyone! I'm currently disabled but I want to try to reenter the workforce and see if I can maintain employment. I'm going to take it slow and build up the stamina needed. Also, if it doesn't work, I have a nine month period to tell the Social Security Administration that I am not going to pursue employment so I've got time to see how it goes once I start.
**My biggest issue is the planning. I was hoping you could help me with that.**
My information:
- My disability is actually an amalgam of diseases that make working on a continuous basis hard. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, minor symptoms of fibromyalgia, ADHD, and bipolar disorder/anxiety issues. I had to quit my last job and seek disability because I started having regular panic attacks at work.
* I have a little education beyond high school but never finished a degree because of my health.
I want to do this because:
* My mother is also disabled and I feel I would better be able to care for her if I got a steady job with better pay
* I'll totally admit that even though I have a legitimate problem, I feel like a leech on society
* I've been feeling stronger now that I am medicated so as long as I can maintain the medication flow I think I may be able to at least hold part-time work. | What are your suggestions on how I should go about doing this? Is there a certain job I should look for? Thank you. |
t3_krm0w | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, my car got broken into can you help me? | Long story short, my car got broken into. They stole my laptop bag and my gym bag. Luckily I have renters insurance, but I have to get receipts, etc to prove that I actually had this stuff. One thing I'm lost on is my gym bag. I can't find the receipt, and REI (where I got it) hasn't had any luck either. I'm figuring if I can just ballpark the insurance company, I'll at least get *something* back. Can you help me find it reddit? It was a black messenger bag, single strap with a logo on the back that said "check out the hook while my DJ revolves it." What'cha got reddit? Can you help? Also, any ideas on anything else I can do to prove the shit I lost was mine? | I got my bag stolen - it was black with "check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" on the back. Can you help find a price for it? |
t3_vcxk6 | dating_advice | Bad time to say I'm not interested???....need advice | 26/F So I went on a few dates with a guy and came to the realization that I'm just not feeling the connection and it probably won't go anywhere (I actually made another post about this already). We were supposed to hang out today and I had planned in my head to tell him it wasn't going to work out...
Shortly before leaving my house he called and asked to reschedule for tomorrow because he quit smoking and feels anxious. So I thought well fuck. I still really don't want to drag this out and plan on telling him tomorrow, but I guess I just need some reassurance that I'm not a horrible person for breaking things off with this guy even though he's going through the anxiety/shittiness of quitting smoking? Or should I wait? I feel like waiting isn't the right solution here but I feel bad because quitting smoking sucks enough as it is and I don't want to hurt his feelings even more than it could without this wrench thrown in the works. | was going to tell a guy today that I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore but he just quit smoking and now I'm wondering if this is a bad time for that. |
t3_kno2b | AskReddit | What do I do? College student falling behind | Hey askreddit,
The beginning of my semester went really well. The first two weeks that is.
I had to do some work for my family and had to miss the third week. After that I was just really stressed about missing so much class and my schedule was turned around so I would sleep through class on accident. This caused me to get really really depressed. I've just now gotten my schedule turned around and I'm working on getting out of my depression by exercising, staying busy and keeping to a strict schedule.
What I need you for is what should I tell my professors/the university? Should I just tell them I had personal problems, what can I do to make things up? Will they ask to know what problems I was having?
Thanks everyone. | Haven't been to classes for 3 of the 5 weeks. What do I do to go back in, what do I tell my professors? |
t3_odny5 | relationships | I need help quick! Girlfriend is extremely mad at me over me being rude and I'm about to call to apologize (More Inside) | Ok, first off I'm 16 and so is she, we've been going out for around 7 months now.
Anyways, today my friend who came back from college came to visit and it was probably the last time I will see him in quite some time. I was talking to him and my best friends. My girlfriend is leaving school and I didn't have a chat with her afterschool. I guess I ignored her because I was talking to my friend and now she's extremely mad at me.
I'm about to call, anything I can say to smooth things out better? | Ignored my girlfriend, she's mad, about to call, need some pointers |
t3_zqike | AskReddit | I'm a sophomore in college, and I'm being bullied. What should I do? | First let me start off with the story.
This girl and I, we'll call her Nancy, were really good friends freshman year. We were both a part of the same club, we lived in the same community, and we just enjoyed each other's company. She eventually tells me that she is starting to see someone, let's call him Gary. I find this totally fine, and pretty awesome. I'm always happy for my friends to find someone. Anyway, I meet him, and he seems very chill and easy to talk to. He seemed like the kind of person I could talk to when something was bothering me, or if I just needed to have some good bro-talk. Fast forward a couple months, and I find out that he dislikes me because he's jealous of the time Nancy and I spend together. So I let him know that I don't like her, and I never have, and that he should just go for her! I thought that was the end of that, silly me. Few months later, I find out he really wants to beat me up. Multiple sources, including Nancy, have told me that he wants to fight. At this point, I've become absolutely confused and a little scared. There have been several times since then where he's walked up to me, yelling, and giving me a hard time, without actually punching me. It happened again today, and I couldn't pull myself up, emotionally. I need some good ol' advice reddit! | There is a guy who wants to beat me up, even though I've told him that I don't like his girl, and I'm concerned |
t3_2tto3o | tifu | TIFU by Vacuuming House Flies | I had a house fly infestation once. Fucking thousands of them. I set up sticky fly traps and everything but it didn't make a difference.
Anyway, after a week or so of flies pooping on my monitors and buzzing in my ear, it was time for some justice. Grabbed my families vacuum cleaner and went full final solution on those flies. After several hours pretending to be the god of death, there were no more of those little flying bastards in sight.
So I thought.
I put the vacuum down in a corner and just left it. The next day...
Oh god why.
They didn't actually die when I sucked them up. They started a mass exodus out the vacuum's nozzle. *And the worst part was that the suction ripped off all their wings.* Have you ever seen hundreds and hundreds of oversized bleeding ants come spewing forth from the mouth of hell, all over your floor?
Anyway, turns out that flies are actually pretty good at hiding. 3 days later they were back in full force.
[Note: Fly poop doesn't come off LED monitors. Or anything else, really. It's like hundreds of little brown dots on every flat surface in your house. Had to buy special monitor cleaning wipes to get it off.]
[Note 2: They're also super attracted to light sources. Like monitors.]
( | had fly infestation, rage vacuumed flies, received mental scarring) |
t3_4wiw0c | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] duration, short-description | Me and my now ex-girlfriend were dating for a while then she started talking to her ex again so we ended up breaking up. I have reason to believe based on conversations with mutual friends it is because she misses sleeping with him. We are talking again and she says she still loves me and wants to be with me but she doesn't feel like she is into me enough to make it last.
So, the question part is we haven't had sex cause I used to be really religious and I was waiting to have sex not necessarily until marriage but until a pretty serious relationship at least since I had waited so long already. I wanted it to be meaningful in some way. I know that she really wants to have sex and she said she wanted to wait because I had wanted to but I know she has also been wanting it really bad.
Could us not having sex be the issue that is leading her to not being into me enough? If so is that reasonable? | Is refraining to sleep with my former girlfriend a good reason for her to feel like she isn't as "into me" as she feels like she should be. |
t3_2i8g9t | relationships | I [20 M] losing interest in [18 F] GF | We have been dating for almost a year this Late October. We have had our up and downs but I do love her. We might be young but we have talked about a future together. Lately I have felt off, she does go to college 3 hours away but even when I visit I feel the same. I have gotten annoyed of her lately and I hate it. One day I'm good and I feel affectionate and the next I don't even want to talk.
I get annoyed when we have different views on most things only because she only sees things her way and if not it's stupid to her.. On religion and other things. She asked me what my views on god were, as she's a baptist and I said I believed in deism and she shot me down saying no you are wrong and wouldn't let it go. Same as when I was on reddit and I said something about Isis killing people and she said I was "unethical" that they should get what's coming to them for killing innocents. I can't talk about things because she will express her views on everything and nothing else I say matters.. And it sucks. I understand people have different views but she makes it seem like I'm an idiot for different ones than hers.
I've talked to her about all this, it just happens so often just these past 2 weeks and I feel annoyed. She's noticed it and she gets upset regularly, and all she does is complain about either room mates, school and how she feels sick every single day. This is every single day and it bothers me.. I just want her to be happy but even when I make the drive to visit we don't do anything but sit in her dorm, cause she doesn't want to go do anything.
Any advice | losing interest in gf of 1 year. Disagree a lot, and tired of her complaining 7 days a week about everything. I want it to work cause we love each other but it's hard not getting annoyed with her |
t3_4t0qt7 | relationships | (21/F) in a 2 year relationship with (28/ M) not invited to family vacations and don't know how to respond | Long story short my boyfriend (28/M)and I (21/F)have been together for about 2 years, we live together and are very happy. I've only met his mother(once, she lives out of state) and father. His mom is super wealthy, she is married to a man that is also very wealthy. So there have been multiple family gatherings, where my boyfriend travels (paid for all by his mom) and his brother and his girlfriend of three years also travel (also paid for by his mom), and I've never been invited. A trip out of the country is being planned and my boyfriend is renewing his passport, should I say something? I'm in college and can't afford to go on a trip like this so I can't exactly expect to be paid for. I feel excluded and hate when he leaves and calls me to talk about all of the things that they did. What should I say/do? | Feeling left out and excluded when not invited on family vacations when my boyfriends mom invites other significant others |
t3_4fqlq8 | relationships | Me [18M] with my girlfriend [21F] of a long distance relationship, may get fired from her job and I don't know how to help her. | A little background on this, my GF has been working a work at home job for a few years. It's a call center type of job, where people call her, she answers the phone and helps them with whatever they need help with. I don't know how it works exactly, but recently she received a new supervisor that is being unfair, my girlfriend has told me she feels the supervisor is out to get her fired. Being her BF, I was very concerned, she has no family that she can turn to, and me and mother live in a small apartment. I'm still finishing up high school, and will be done by the end of the month, but I'm worried my GF is going to be homeless and I can't financially help her.
My question is, how can I help her? She is certain her job is going to fire her, she and I are looking for similar jobs for her to work, as a back-up plan in case worst comes to worst. Is there something she can do as an employee to resolve the problems her supervisor has with her? To my knowledge, they move her to a new department every few months, put her through a 1-day training for the new department and then right into the actual department itself. Her supervisor has been marking her quality down for things she did not learn or was taught. There isn't anyone else she can turn to, other than her supervisor, who she feels is out to terminate her. | My GF may lose her job, the long-distance doesn't allow me to help her, and I'm still finishing school. I don't know what to do. |
t3_2pggry | relationships | Me [28M] broke up with GF [22F] 1YR, thinking of breaking no contact, advice? | Original:
Hi All,
First of all, been 6 weeks now since she broke up with me, I felt better around week 3 or 4 and now I have plummeted again.
She was my first love, I keep dreaming about her and replayed all the happy moments in my mind, the first date, the first sex, the first time she said "I Love You"
In fairness, I am not replaying any of the arguments, diminishing sex life which was weird after 11 months, the seeing less of each other... etc
Just finding it very hard, I went full NC at first, blocked her on social media... but every now and then still checked her Instagram as you can't really block on that... but now unlocked her on FB and stuff, she has deleted ALL pictures of us every together which absolutely devastated me.
So what I am thinking is... I was going to write her a letter, telling her how I feel, where I think it went wrong and if she would like to fix it... I want to do it more for me if anything, to know I have tried all options to fix this situation, I miss her so so so much, we are very different, me very affectionate and loving but not so good with words and she more cold and distant but very expressive with writting and really conveys her love when she writes me cards and whatnot.
I know it's my first love and I have always been very closed before... but I honestly think she might be the one, her leaving my life feels like my life has just gone down the toilet, I am unmotivated to do anything work or social wise but I am pushing myself to do it but I honestly feel like a zombie.
What to do??????? | thinking of breaking no contact to send her a letter saying I miss her and want her back, good or bad idea? |
t3_2cmcwy | Advice | 1 week before i go to college, dad says he's not going to pay for it anymore | We've been fighting for years, he'll always be a jerk but recently I thought we were legitimately making progress. He gave me an entry level job at a semi-big business that he owns to work for during this summer. We'd been having fights lately about this and that and today he tells me that he's firing me and that he's not going to pay for any of my expenses at school this year. I was supposed to go next week; it would be my final year in school.
My dad makes too much money for me to qualify for any free financial aid and in the past has refused to fill out any sort of FAFSA forms so it's not possible for them to gauge how much money I'm eligible to be loaned.
One week is too short of notice to get any sort of private loans as far as I know, and even if it wasn't, I would likely need a co-signer and I lack any adults who would be willing to do so (my dad has said that he would not let my mother co-sign anything for me in the past).
I don't know what to do. He told me that and after he told me to get out, I walked out of his office, went straight to my car and came home. No one else is home yet and I haven't talked to my mom about it all. She likely can't/won't do anything but I'm just trying to figure out what to do. I want to pack up all my things and just leave but I don't have anywhere to go and my school is over 9 hours of driving away and even if I went ahead and moved in already, I won't have a way to pay for it.
The advice, I'm looking for I suppose is what should I do? Talking things through with my dad is absolutely out of the question. Not that I'm too angry to talk or anything, just that it really isn't even a possibility. | my dad gives me a week's notice to tell me that he won't pay for my school anymore and basically says "too bad" when i tell him there's not a way for me to get a loan to cover it |
t3_3b0ss3 | dogs | [help] Need advice on Pitbull dog in shelter. | Really sorry for the crap title. So on Monday the 22nd of this month I was on my way home from classes and heading back for work, when on the drive home I saw a dog walking in the road. I saw another person trying to get the dog out of the road, so I pulled off into a parking lot and went to help.
After about 5 minutes or so the dog finally walked over and sat down. Humane Society came and picked the dog up, so its at the shelter.
The worker that came and got the dog said that they'd hold the dog for 3 days before putting it up for adoption. As soon as it goes for adoption, they'll be neutering, vaccinating, and microchipping the dog.
I've had the dog on my mind since that monday and I've been giving some serious consideration to adopting him as soon as he's set for it.
I've also been concerned about the idea of owning a pitbull mix dog. I know that there's been a lot of stuff said against owning that breed, but I also know that a lot of it isn't true.
If anyone at all has info on pitbull-mix dogs and how they are around other dogs, or if maybe they different dietery needs, or how they are around other people, anything related to owning one would be welcome. | found a pitbull mix dog running the street. Humane Society is holding it. thinking about adopting, but worried about all the news crap that puts them in a bit of a dark light. Any info on having one as part of a multi pet home or anything to look out for in this breed of dog would be good. |
t3_1opm6t | relationship_advice | My boyfriend's (25 M) mother doesn't like me (25 F). | I'll start this off by saying that my boyfriend and I have been together a total of 9 months now. In the beginning, his mother seemed to really like me. We would hang out when my boyfriend wasn't around and talk and just genuinely enjoyed each other's company.. or so I thought. It was brought to my attention that she has been saying not so nice things about me behind my back. I've overheard most of it (they live in a small house and she isn't exactly an expert whisperer) and some I had to pry out of my boyfriend. He sticks up for me every single time. He is currently not living at home because of the fact that his mother is a very two faced person and is always insulting me behind my back and him sticking up for me leads to them fighting.
I've literally not done one thing to make her dislike me. I've always been very cordial and respectful. I made it a point to try and get to know her and be friendly because he is her only child and family had always been important for both of us.
It all came to a head when he confronted her and said that I no longer come over because I feel unwelcomed and that she is very negative towards me. She then proceeds to tell him that he needs to come get his shit and get out of her house. After he agrees that he'll come get his things she leaves me a voicemail telling me that I need to get my shit together. Now, we have a family function tomorrow (a cousin's 5th birthday party) where she will be present and my boyfriend really wants me to go. They have patched things over, but she has not said anything to me since the voicemail and I'm just worried about what may happen tomorrow. I just don't know how I should move forward with all of this. | Used to be friendly with boyfriend's mom. She started talking about me behind my back so I've avoided her. Now we have to be at a birthday party together. Help. |
t3_ia3kv | self | I just found out a guy I've been dating is hitting on other girls..Anyone care to cheer me up? | Hi Reddit, I just found out a guy I've been talking to/dating (Not official yet) has been hitting on other girls, some of which are my friends. I don't think I deserve this..not saying some girls do but there are as many b*tches as there are d-bags.
Needless to say, I feel really shitty :( Was hoping the amazing, awesome reddit community could cheer me up. Feel free to just strike up a random conversation :D
A little background info on me: I, and pretty much every guy I know, consider myself good looking, so this guy is missing out. I work out, so I look good. I'd like to think I'm intelligent. I'm a computer geek 8-). Studying computer science. I love video games! I love fantasy movies/books. I wasted 6 years of my life playing WoW. (and they were some of the best years of my life, sad right? haha). I would never cheat on a guy! I'm a good person..
P.S. Guys please don't do this to good girls...or to anyone but yeah..lol | Guy is a douchebag! Cheer me up! :) |
t3_25rvdd | relationships | I'm learned some secrets I didn't want to know. [a whole group of people 18-24] | I don't know how to start. Basically, by having a reputation of being that guy you can come to and talk about anything with, and for keeping my mouth shut about it, I've learned some things about my friends that put me in a bad place.
I have this friend, Alana. She's dating two guys, Max and Charlie. Charlie knows about, Max doesn't. But the thing is, the relationship between Alana and Max is very shallow. She's almost playing around with him. Letting him think they're getting serious and whatnot, when she's basically counting down the days till she breaks his heart and runs away with Charlie.
Charlie is letting all this happen, letting Max continue to think things are happy. But Alana and Charlie have all but signed their names on a lease. (Which is probably going to change in the next few days)
I however, am friends with both Max and Charlie, and they have a lot of mutual friends. When all of this finally ends, no matter what, a lot of people are going to be hurt and betrayed.
I feel like I should tell Max what's really going on. But if I do, I become the bad guy. No doubt about that. He thinks he's really happy with Alana. But if I don't, then when it eventually comes out, I'll feel like the bad guy for just sitting there letting it happen. What should I do?
Feel free to ask questions if I wasn't clear enough | Learned too much about a love triangle, now I'm in a no-win situation |
t3_16f2gh | relationships | [f22] just really needs someone to talk to. | Hey so me and my boyfriend of two years have been on the rocks lately and tonight he planned this really big surprise for me to get us back to good but I didn't know it was happening and I had a bunch of other stuff to get done tonight so I opted to hang out another night.. and anyway, he got frustrated (understandably) and I then got frustrated too and went off on him pretty hard about some stupid thing that didn't even pertain to the problem and anyway.. I'm pretty sure he's going to break up with me (understandably) and I'd just really like someone to talk to.
We've been on the rocks for the passed month of so, and it's mostly because I suck at listening and keep creating the same problems (honeslty, I can totally see that. I can't stop myself from making a mess though. It's like it's just who I am). Other than this passed month we've been doing well for 2 years (just regular ups and downs). We're both really mature individuals who never fight over petty things, we completely trust each other and anyway.. I'm just really bummed and would like someone to talk to.
Can someone help me try to feel better? or maybe suggest something to fix this? I know it's probably trivial compared to other people's problems but it feels pretty big to me right now. | [f22] dating [m25] for 2 years. On the rocks lately and I just put the nail in the coffin. Any advice on making it better? |
t3_n7rim | AskReddit | HELP REDDIT. I want my cousins will spend xmas in an orphanage, unnecessarily. | The title should say I don't want them to be there sorry!!!!
I'll give you the basic facts.
I have two nieces in Turkey. They are both Turkish nationals, their mother is dead and their father cannot raise them (for reasons I won't explain).
Basically my Aunt, who is a native of my country, and my uncle who has been repatriated and is now a citizen of this country adopted them domestically (in Turkey).
They are ready to go from a Turkish perspective. i.e. They are fully adopted and everything is above board.
The problem is the authorities in my country won't grant them visas to stay here. They won't even grant them temporary visas.
I was wondering if you have any advice as to what we can do?
We have spoken to the prime-minister, second minister, minster for Justice and plenty of local representatives and nothing has worked so far. | my cousins who are 7 and 10 will spend another christmas in Turkey because my government won't give them a visa even though they are fully adopted. |
t3_27b8ly | personalfinance | Is it worth it to get an MBA? | I got a BA in Economics/Administrative Studies last year and for the past year I have been doing accounting for a family friend making $11.50/hr. I hate my job. I have no debt at the moment and I need to further myself.
I cannot live off of this income and I've been living at home with my mum. I use her car, I pay for gas on her card, she pays for groceries, etc. I feel pretty sad about that because she doesn't deserve to have me as a burden.
Anyways, I don't see my job leading anywhere... as it's a very small company with pretty much NO room for growth.
I fucked up in college, I didn't take internships or become part of clubs... all I wanted to do was go home and play World of Warcraft/League... and now I'm fucked.
My GPA in school was pretty bad... 2.56. When I was in school all I cared about was going home and doing raids, but now I know better and I would devote my free time to going to career fairs, networking, joining a club, getting an internship, etc. I have completely changed my mindset, I just need to get a plan into action.
Anyways... would it be beneficial for me to get an MBA and try to do something like Marketing? Or maybe get an MBA in accounting? I would go at least 40k in debt I think... would it even be worth it? What is a good career to invest myself in? | 23 years old w/ BA in Econ. Shitty job with no growth. No networking has been done... what do? |
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