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t3_2b53pw | relationships | How do i [21/m] reconnect with an old classmate [21/f] romantically? | I recently (~1 month) broke up with my long term girlfriend, and fortunately now I feel that I am beginning to move on, having got over the moping stage!
I now want to find someone else and get on with my life. There is an old classmate who i have as a friend on facebook who i used to talk to most of the time during high school. I want to try and see if i can meet up with her, but we haven't talked in 3 years and I have no idea on how I can try to change her from being just a friend, to being my girlfriend.
Any tips on how I can reconnect with her, as well as how I can change from being just friends to being together?
Many thanks! | How can i reconnect with old classmate who I haven't spoken to in years and make her romantically interested in me? |
t3_2wy75p | relationships | I [19 M] met a girl a girl at a party but don't know how to approach her outside of that environment. | A couple of weeks ago I was at a party with a bunch of friends and ended up talking to this girl, who was in one of my classes last semester and I sort of had a crush on, for awhile but eventually one of her friends pulled her away. So I go talk to some of friends, to shy to pursue anything further. About an hour passes and I see her again and she starts walking over to me. She is clearly pretty drunk and grabs my arm and starts making out with me. At this point I am pretty surprised with whats going on by I just go with it. Eventually one of her friends pulls her away but she kept coming back and continued to hook up with me. this went on for awhile but eventually the party died down, she disappeared and me and my friends left.
Since then Ive seen her all over campus and we always make awkward I contact and Ive caught her multiple times staring at me and shes probably caught me staring at her too. The thing is from what little we talked and what I've seen of her in class I do like her and would like to get to know her more. I just have no idea how to go about talking to her without it being awkward or weird. Any ideas/suggestions on what I should do | Met/hooked up with a girl at a part, dont know how to talk to her afterwards. |
t3_1ud1dv | pettyrevenge | Enjoy your lump of meat | I work in a deli, and while I generally don't mind it. Though some of the customers can be annoying, and a select few straight up rude.
This particular day it was insanely busy and I had already been working for 6 hours. I was grouchy. A woman approaches the counter, I ask how she's doing today. She looks at me with utter disdain and proceeds to ask in a borderline mumble for what sounded like mootoodle. I said "I'm sorry, what was that?" She repeats the exact same mumble sound. Again, I ask her to repeat herself. She literally rolled her eyes at me and said "MOOT-A-DELL." At this point I realized she was attempting to order mortadella in an accent.
People generally like their mortadella on the thin side, so I cut the first slice thin. I asked her how that looked and she let out an audible huff and said it was much too thick. Ok, I'll see how much thinner I can get it. At this point the slicer is basically set to 0 but I manage to get a paper thin slice that holds together. I show her this slice. She responds by telling me I'm going to have to do better than that.
I'm fuming inside at this point, but I'm still managing to keep a cheery exterior. I pretend to adjust the slicer and show her another slice of the exact same thickness. "I guess that will do." I proceed to slice her meat, and after I weigh it while I'm transferring it into the deli bag I squeezed the stack of meat as hard as I possibly could before handing it to her. For those unfamiliar with mortadella, it's basically the same consistency as bologna I have effectively fused this stack of insanely thin meat into a solid lump. | woman wasn't nice to me in the deli, I smooshed her meat |
t3_3n5k29 | relationships | My friend [19M] lied about doing drugs... | So I went clubbing on Tuesday night and my friend disappeared for a bit. When he came back he said he had tried coke from some guy he had met in the smoking area. It was out of character for him and I thought he was lying at first but the next day I brought it up again and he said he did. He told other people too
Anyway, today I said, "You didn't do drugs, did you? Don't lie." in an accusatory tone and he was obviously lying and told me he didn't.
Why would he lie about doing drugs? | My friend lied about doing cocaine when he didn't. |
t3_2u26eb | askwomenadvice | How can i[19M] be certaint of a girl's[16F] feelings towards me? | First of all i am sorry if this isn't the right subreddit to post this to,if it's not then just tell me and i'll delete the post righ away.
There's this girl i've been texting to for a few months,we skyped,talked on the phone for countless hours we text eachother everyday until sunset and stuff like that.
We call eachother cute names like ''my love'' ''my angel'' stuff like that she constantly tells me that she loves me and i tell her all the time that i love her too,she always tells me that she miss me and that she want to be in my arms,she always says ''i'm yours''(even though i never know how to respond to that),she wants me to be her first and that she'd love me even with my body (i have a big problem with my physical appeareance)
i really love her,still we haven't met,i'm supposed to go meet her on the 14th of february,you know for valentine's day and i'll bring her a rose and her favorite chocolate..but for some reason i'm unsure about her feelings..
or maybe that's not it but there's definetly something weird about all this and i can't put my finger on it..i have difficulties about trusting people,i try my best to trust her.
she says i'm the one she loves,yet sometime she shows herself to old guys and i don't know how to react..sorry if this post make no sense at all.. | met this girl online a few months ago,been texting and saying cute stuff to eachothers,want to meet her but unsure about her feelings,or maybe that's not it,what do i do? |
t3_2vlt6a | tifu | TIFU by not waiting | All of the toilets in my building are being switched out for more water efficient ones today. First the maintenance guys knocked on my door to drop off the new one and take the old one out.
I thought that they would be right back but after about twenty minutes I was still waiting and I really had to pee. I had to pee when they first showed up. I waited for about ten more minutes before I decided that I couldn't hold it anymore and that I should pee in the sink.
I was just about done when the door swings wide open and I lock eyes with one of the maintenance crew guys. After what felt like an eternity he quietly shut the door left. About five minutes later a different guy came by to hook up the toilet. | A man that I've never met saw me sitting at the edge of my kitchen sink, peeing. I'm a woman. |
t3_4ytgte | relationships | My Girlfriend [22 F] has recently had a hard time and is distancing herself. How can I [22 M] help her? | Hey Guys,
So me and my girlfriend have been together roughly for 8 years (we are both 22, so grown up together). In June 2016, we travelled Australia for a month together and had the best time. We are literally the bestest of friends and loved spending time together.
After returning from Australia, my girlfriend took part in a voluntary 3 week residential programme for children with bad behaviour. Over the course of the 3 weeks, she admitted the role was tiring and stressful. Towards the last few days of the programme, she went on a night out with her colleagues. The day after, she admitted to me that her and another colleague went to kiss each other and then pulled away. She felt very guilty and I could see she was very upset.
We were also in the process of moving in to a flat together. A few days after the occurrence with her colleague, she rung me crying saying she felt overwhelmed and didn't feel it was right to move in together, to which I completely understood and was happy to keep our seperate living life's. Initially afterwards, she was so happy that I understood and I could feel the relief. However, her family were less supportive of her decision and she felt that they didn't listen.
Ever since this, she has distanced herself from me and doesn't show the same affection. She doesn't want to make plans and says she constantly feels tired. Although, she still says she loves me and when we do see each other, we still kiss and have friendly conversations.
I have now tried to give her some time and space whilst still trying to support her. She is making lots of plans with her friends which I feel could be her way of dealing with the pressures. I feel that she could possibly have become overwhelmed with life and potentially slightly depressed? Could anyone give me advice of how I should act to help her?
Thanks | Girlfriend has had a rough time and is now distancing herself from me, how can I help her? |
t3_1s1bjz | relationships | Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 years, just broke up. Dont really know how to respond. | I dont really know what to do. Thats all I can really say. Me and my girlfriend started dating at the end of highschool. It was the first real relationship for both of us. We've been in a long distance relationship for pretty much the entire 4 years we'd been together, and for the most part we'd made it work. Never really fought or had any huge issues, and we made an effort to see each other at least once a month. Recently I'd noticed we hadnt been talking as much, but I chalked it up to us both nearing our final semesters in college, and once we were both out, we could work on finally living together.
Apparently I was wrong about the health of our relationship. She told me that she felt that she was outgrowing the relationship, and that she felt that a number of small issues that didnt mean much now would cause larger problems down the road. I disagreed, but at this point it doesnt mean much. She was insistant that we try and stay friends after a certain amount of time, but I;m just not sure how that could happen. Hell, I was thinking of proposing to her this coming summer. And now thats over. Honestly I think I'm devastated but I'm just not sure I can feel anything about this right now.
What concerns me the most is that this is the first I've herd of any of this. We talked and we agreed to get back in contact in a few months to see if this was really permanent or if she just needed to be single for a while, and while I want to be hopeful about that, I really dont want to get my hopes up. I just dont know what to do. Its my first breakup and it was so sudden that I still dont think its really sunk in yet. Honestly I think I'm just posting this so I dont just go insane in my own head. | 4 year long distance relationship ended very suddenly. Help. |
t3_25tsgh | relationships | [29 F] taking her ex's [28 M] out-of-the-blue silent treatment harder than the breakup. | My ex and I reconnected at the end of March - a year and a half after we broke up. Things were going really well: we texted every day, we hung out, we flirted, etc. We didn't have an argument or disagreement.. nothing.
Then out of literally no where, he stops responding and stops texting me. At first his excuse was his phone but it continued even when he got a new one. And he's either blocked my number now, or changed his. He won't answer my emails or my Facebook messages.
I admit I went a little overboard at first because I get real worried when people suddenly stop responding (I had a friend die in a car crash on their way home after they dropped me off at my house shortly after I graduated High School - my ex knows this and knows my issue with being non-responsive). However, considering all we've been through and the things his most recent ex has done - I think his behavior is uncalled for. Especially since it was so sudden and I didn't over-text him until AFTER he had been ignoring me for several days.
At this point it's been almost a month since this all began and I'm taking this way harder than our break-up. I've been miserable. Especially since everything was fine and he was really the one initiating everything. I used to consider him the "best ex I ever had" but I can't say that any more after his behavior. I'd honestly rather him tell me to fuck off then continue what he's doing now. It'd be easier if we had fought or something had happened.. but I swear nothing did.
Any advice on what to do or how to get over all of this? | My ex is giving me the silent treatment out of the blue and I can't take it anymore. |
t3_284gjf | AskReddit | best reddit android app? | new to reddit, need help with finding the best reddit app for android, don't like the mobile interface of the browser and having to load it each time. please recommend | so reddit now is best but till they add option to edit my sub reddits from within the app I'll stick with flow. |
t3_1vv9tl | relationships | What can I [24/M] do, to let my long distance girlfriend [24] know that I'm thinking about her? | I order her flowers from time to time, which I think is always a nice surprise for her. I'm looking for other creative ideas that will just let her know I'm thinking about her.
Things that could be done quickly are a plus - so if she is having a bad day, I can make her smile.
Also, should I avoid sending anything to her work? Her workplace has a pretty laid back culture, so I'm not terribly worried about something being unprofessional - I just don't know if that would embarrass her. She does love getting attention so maybe making other girls at work jealous would be a good thing? | How can I let my long-distance girlfriend know I care? |
t3_4n2jkb | relationships | My[42F] bestfriend's [42F] 5 yo is not welcome at my boyfriend's [38M] house. How can I explain this to her? | My bestfriend of over 35 years has 4 children. 3 are wonderful within normal child bounds. The fourth, a 5 year old daughter (actually the second) let's call her Jane is also lovely but also has issues. She has auditory sensitivity and shows signs of being on the spectrum. She also tantrums and unfortunately her parents tend to give into these with whatever she is tantruming about. When she tantrums or melts down (yes these are different) she will run away and has broken things. They also won't enforce boundaries such as which rooms not to enter, etc with any of their children but the rest are easily discouraged.
I don't live with my boyfriend of 6 years (yes I know. He has commitment issues). My bestfriend is nagging me to invite her family over for a BBQ at his house as I have with many other people but he doesn't want Jane in his house as it is not child proof and he has a cat. He'd be happy with all the other kids there and has invited other kids over regularly including my autistic son.
How can I explain to her that I can't invite her to his house or should I just keep ignoring/bean dipping? | One of best friends children has a disorder which affects her behaviour and parents don't really control it well. Boyfriend will not allow this child in his house. How do I deflect or explain this to my friend? |
t3_5325sf | relationships | My [20m] girlfriend [20f] is hiding me from her friends | My girlfriend has been hiding me from her friends.
At first I thought she was doing it because it was still early and she wanted to make sure the relationship would last before she told people, but recently I realized she's still doing so.
I asked her why she's hiding me and her answer was that she's worried that other people would talk behind her back if they knew that she was dating someone new again.
Given that most of her friends are Chinese kids, I understand her more but the thing is, the last time she broke up with her ex was in January of this year.
Her parents know about me and a few of her close friends know about me but it still bothers me that she wants to hide me although she's never hidden any of her ex's.
Am I being overly sensitive or am I normal? And what should I do? | girlfriend is hiding me because she's afraid of people talking behind her back |
t3_hnwou | running | I know there's a lot of these but: I ran my first 5K yesterday! | I've actually been wanting to do this particular 5k since last year.
I've been running for barely 6 months now. My time was 42:48, which isn't spectacular, but I'm slow, and that's in my range of okay.
As it turns out, the course (which I actually know really well since that's the only place around where I live where running is practical) has more hills than usual for a 5k and is, apparently, difficult to get 'good' times on.
This was my first race ever so I wasn't used to the excitement, the people all around (I generally run alone), or the fact that my pace was wayyy different than on my 'normal' runs.
My ambitious goal for next time is to actually place! To do that I'd have to do ~sub 22:00 probably. | First race ever; it was awesome! |
t3_1d2faw | relationships | My boyfriend [23] told me [23F] that I'm not 'the one'. I don't know where to go with the relationship now. | My boyfriend of about a year dropped a bomb a few weeks ago that he enjoys spending time with me, likes me, and likes sex with me but he just 'doesn't ever see us getting married'.
I'm just taking this in like 'Whoa, where did that come from? I'm 23, I'm not looking to get married or have babies or any of that right now.'
So I'm just stunned because I thought we had gotten over his iffy-ness about being in a relationship. He goes through these periods where he feels like he's being a terrible boyfriend because of standards he sets for himself that are too high.
His major concern was that he doesn't 'feel as intensely about [me] as [I] feel about [him]'.
It basically came down to him saying he thinks he should be stupid crazy for me and have this hollywood sappy romance where he pines for my presence and company.
I feel really hurt and confused and it's all just kind of catching up to me now. I talked to him about it and he's nervous about graduating college and living on his own and lots of other things that are stressing him out.
He's also my best friend and I feel that if he's going to dump me I need total separation and that we probably can't be friends for a while if ever.
He's also never dated any one else before and says that he's scared that he is going to meet someone he likes more than me, leave me for them, and hurt me.
I told him that kind of makes him an asshole for abstractly thinking about how much better he could do than me.
We're still dating but I feel like I need to dump him out of self respect for myself.
I know we need to sit down about my feelings but I really just want him to apologize for being so insensitive and that he needs to start thinking about his words if he wants me to be in his life.
Is it even worth it after what I've written? I don't want to be deluded into thinking I can fix things if there doesn't seem to be things worth fixing. | Boyfriend says I'm not the one, wants everything to be the same minus sex (which he says is amazing). Super confused about what he's trying to pull. Is this even worth it? |
t3_4e4dzf | relationships | I (18M) can't get over my cheating, emotionally abusive ex (19F) and am angry at myself for it | A little backstory:
About a year and a half ago I met someone through Tumblr who lived in my state, but about a 3 hour drive away. I was 16, and my parents wouldn't ever let me drive up alone (she lived in the mountains) but we made it work and saw each other about every month, more or less.
Throughout that time, I lost my virginity to her (which is something I held really close) and we were completely and totally in love. However, through the beginning of our relationship she was cheating on me with her ex who lived up there and (obviously) lying about it.
I had suspicions, but every time I brought them up she would lie and turn it on me for not trusting her. Eventually we broke up because we weren't compatible at all. A few months after we did break up, she texted me asking me if I could talk about anything. We did, and she admitted to lying about everything through our relationship. She would go to parties without telling me, the cheating, and it was even down to her lying about her own feelings regarding any situation. It completely shattered me.
Fast forward to now, about 4 months since her "confession" and I still can't get over it at all. I've deleted every picture and burned all of her letters that she ever gave to me. I usually do really well with moving on but I've noticed ways where what she did really fucked me up.
For example, I am completely and totally unable to be genuine with people on the same level as I used to be and I'm worried that their interest in me is just a lie. I haven't been able to be in a real relationship since because I just can't trust at all. I have no idea what to do at this point.
Has anyone else been in this sort of position? What can I do to get her out of my life? | LDR ended in confession of partner cheating and lying about everything, I can't move on. |
t3_pyd6q | AskReddit | Sometimes I can't look at objects that are close to my eyes.... | I have a problem whereby I can't look at things that are too close to my eyes, which can be anywhere up to around 2ft. This includes poles on the bus, sharp objects that I come into contact with on a day to day basis or even the backs of chairs.
It isn't all the time and when I do look at things when I am like this, I can feel my eyes twinge and I have to look away. I don't know if this is in the right section, so I do apologise if it isn't.
What is wrong with my eyes and is there anyway to stop it? | Objects make my eyes twinge when they are too close. |
t3_3uryi3 | personalfinance | Looking to buy first car intending to keep it 10-20+ years. Can I afford it yet? | I'm looking to buy a new Jeep Wrangler and I believe I could get one for $28-30k after taxes. My 91' Ford Ranger with 144k miles is still chugging along fine so this isn't a necessity yet. I would like to buy a new car that I can take care of and have for decades.
I make 30-40k a year based on overtime and bonuses with two raises coming in two and eight months. Worked at job four months so far.
I have been saving about 50% of the 1800/month (40hours/week bare minimum rate) I get after 25% taxes. ($800-$900)
I have about $5000 in the bank currently.
I have no debt and little to no credit history. But I have been with my CU for several years and could probably get a rate under 4% with little trouble. With direct deposit they have the ability to see my cash flow and that I pay my bills on time without fail.
In 3-4 months I should have over $10k in the bank and could afford to drop $5-$8k on a down payment to get my monthly payment down to 300-350 over a 60 or 72 month loan period. assuming $100 a month for insurance (probably lower) that could leave me at a monthly payment of $450 for the vehicle. This should leave me able to save at least $400 a month after all living/car expenses. | Thinking about purchasing a 27k car in 4-6 months. 30-35k/year job. Currently saving $900/month. Plan on putting 5-8k down and getting a loan at <4% over 60-72months. monthly total payment goal with insurance of $450ish. |
t3_43gfva | relationships | Why do I [18F] never feel like socializing/hanging out with my friends? | I love my friends. I usually enjoy hanging out with people when I'm actually in the moment. But when I'm by myself, whether I have actual plans for my day alone or I'm just dicking around with myself, if someone texts me and asks me to hang out that day I get super pissed off and my initial reaction is to want to turn down all plans (just to myself, I don't actually let it show). Again, I like all my friends, and I have fun socializing in the moment...I just don't know why I respond with such visceral irritation to the idea of making plans. Never once have I felt excited by the thought of having social plans.
I don't get it! I understand that I'm introverted but I don't think it's healthy to be so introverted that I literally would never hang out with anyone if I let myself just do what my feelings tell me. I do sometimes make excuses not to hang out just because I don't feel like it - probably more often than most people turn down plans. I know this probably seems like a minor issue but I'm tired of feeling like it's a burden when my friends want to spend time with me. I feel like it's going to start really affecting my social life if I keep turning down people's requests to hang out. Why do I feel like this? | I don't like the idea of socializing but I know I should want to spend time with my friends, why is this happening? |
t3_rzb1p | relationships | Question about new relationships | I'm 28/m, and have been in a couple of longer-term relationships. I always feel a bit nervous when I'm being intimate- anything more than light kissing- with a girl for the first few times- I'm unsure what she's comfortable with, and I've been raised in a strong "consent is important" environment. So I usually ask repeatedly, "Is this alright?... Can I touch you there?... Are you ok?" This starts to sound kind of tedious after a while, so I've thought about just saying, "If there's anything you don't like, just let me know, and I'll stop." But now I'm thinking, that should go without saying. | What's the best way to make sure a new partner is comfortable with what you're doing, without interrupting the flow too much? |
t3_2nqe3p | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19F] of 1 week, leaving the country in three weeks, she told me she's in love with me. | I'm living in Asia right now. A week ago, a friend that I've liked for awhile suddenly became interested in me. We've spent almost every free moment together, and last night she said she's in love with me.
I will move back to my home country in three weeks indefinitely, and I made it clear when we got together that this relationship would end then. I like her a lot, but I can't reciprocate those feelings right now, and I don't know if I will be able to before I leave. I talked to her about this and she understands, but it makes me uncomfortable, especially because we haven't had sex yet. Her past relationships/experiences were not good, she's going through some difficult things with her family, and I think she just thinks she's in love with me because I treat her well and listen to her.
She makes me happy and I don't want to break up with her. I have some commitment/trust issues that I have trouble getting over. She wants to have sex but I feel uncomfortable with that when the relationship is unbalanced like this.
I don't really have a specific problem, so I'm looking for general advice dealing with this I guess. | Leaving the country in three weeks. Started dating a friend a week ago, now she says she's in love with me. I do like her a lot but I don't think I'm in love with her right now. She says she understands that but she wants to have sex soon and that makes me uncomfortable because the relationship is a little one-sided. Wat do? |
t3_q2v9j | AskReddit | Military spouse with a renting/lease question | My husband is being deployed sometime next month, we are currently in a 12 month lease that is up in August. He'll be gone for about 9 months. I want to go back and stay with family while he's gone, but our apartment complex is giving us a hard time. We have a military clause in our lease, which they claim only covers him being released from the lease. They're saying since I signed it too, there is no way for them to legally let us (well me, specifically) out of the lease. My husband is filing some kind of paperwork to help me get out of it. Have any of you had similar experiences, or know if they can legally do this. | Husband deploying. Military clause in lease, but apartment complex is saying I can't break out of it. Advice? |
t3_2jy61e | relationships | Loss of sex drive threatens sanity. Very confused. Help? [20F] | Hi. So, I'm a 20yr old female, in a relationship [7 month] with awesome guy[22m] I lost my vcard to. When we started, I was very sexually active, very enthusiastic and wanted it almost constantly - also wanted it more then him. But we had sex a lot, at most going 3 days without it. Now, summer's over, second month into university school year, and I don't want it. Like at all. Maybe I'll want it for 10 minutes, but when we get started I lose the want.
Has this happened to anyone?? Do you think it's just stress?? Am I just getting to use to sex?? | High sex drive when to low sex drive in 6 months. Really confused about why and if this normal. |
t3_dash2 | AskReddit | Reddit, Can you help me with scum-bag scammers that are really pissing me off? I did some homework with links and more inside. | [Here's the contact page of their BS website with a phone number] that one can call and talk to one of these assholes. They have been calling my phone from (978)570-2210 [and I'm not the only one] but that number doesn't receive calls like the the one on their "website." I have asked to be on their do not call list but they continue to call and try to get my credit card info.
They are definately calling from India or somewhere like that but insist they are in Phoenix or Florida. They all have the most generic American names and distinctive Indian accents. Ron, Allen, and Warren Smith are really pissing me off. I get calls 5 times a day and every time end up cussing them out or tricking them, by asking what time it is there or something like that. | call (877) 472-1629 and give them hell after they try to scam you too. |
t3_3iyybj | relationships | I [28/F] just recently moved to a new city and my friends and family are visiting often, I'm overwhelmed by the cost of doing touristy things. | My husband (30/m) and I (28/f) married for 3.5 years just moved to Seattle about 4 months ago. We moved from Oregon where most of our friends and family are from.
We love having visitors! Seattle is a really cool city and we are happy to give someone a place to stay and to see our loved ones! The volume or frequency of guests isn't what bothers us, for reals. Since most people are only 4-6 hours away we've had a lot of guests so far. It's a great weekend getaway option especially since we can host. All our guests have been very considerate and cool.
It's just that the cost of the iconic seattle attractions is pretty pricy. Going up the space needle costs $20+, the EMP Museum is $20+, doing a duck tour is $20+. Even some of the cheaper ones add up quickly. It's difficult because we did the majority of the touristy stuff the first 2-3 times we had guests up here but now everyone who visits wants to go. Thank god visiting Pike's is free!
I know there are lots of free or cheap things to do in seattle but our guests get here and are all about the space needle. People want to do those iconic things because they are up here. This isn't about suggesting something cheaper.
It's a little easier when a couple or group visits because they can all ride up the needle as a group while we chill below (although that still seems rude) but if it's one person we feel obligated to do it too.
We really don't want to stop having guests but all the tourist attractions are breaking the bank. What should we do? | Recently moved to Seattle. We've had a lot of guests which we love. What we don't love is the cost to do all the pricy iconic attractions which we feel obligated to accompany our guests to. |
t3_18ufmf | Pets | I have 2 cats. I cannot find a way to prevent peeing out of the litter box. | I am at the point where I am at a complete loss for what I can do. I have 2 cats. Both female, one is about 5 years old and the other is a little over 2. Both of the have been spayed.
We live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Plenty of room for the both of them. We have one very large litter box with a big lid on it that we keep in our spare bedroom. Our cats are smaller in size. Not because they are starved by any means, but they are just smaller by nature. They are both fed 2 times a day. Once in the morning after we wake up ~6:30am and once at night ~8:30pm.
We have noticed pee marks around the litter box. Not inside, but on the floor outside. At first I thought this was an issue with the cat actually going inside the litter box but their backend was sticking out the entrance. However, this isn't the case. One or both of them seem to be peeing around the same spot on the carpet in the spare bedroom. This has absolutely ruined my carpet. I don't know what else to do!
At first this would only happen when we were away for 2 days or so. I know, they tend to misbehave when the owners aren't around. Now it is much more frequently. We usually keep the cats in the spare bedroom for the night because they constantly wake us up through the night. They either jump on the bed, find a noisy bag or something to play with, or just meow constantly looking for attention. These cats are not starved for attention by any means. They have toys, get played with, and are very comfortable.
Please help with any suggestions. We have no idea what to do! I don't want to continue this behavior. Not only is it annoying and its damaging our property, but it is obviously causing the cats stress. I don't want to be doing or not doing something to cause them stress.
Please help! | 2 cats, one or both started peeing in the same spot outside the litter box. |
t3_4vl0dw | offmychest | I feel so lonely in groups. | Last year I met my best friend. We went through hell and back together and I feel closer with her than with any other person. Recently she got married and understandably she doesn't have as much time for me anymore. I got used to the way things used to be. We did nearly everything together and it got to the point where she almost felt like an extension of myself. Now we hang out together one on one maybe once on a good week. It feels like a part of me has suddenly become so much more distant and for the first time in a long time I feel lonely when I'm alone.
I have other friends of course. The lot of us hang out as a group pretty regularly, but I don't feel particularly close to any of them individually and I rarely have the opportunity to spend time alone with any of them.
When I do it's nice. I would much rather do nothing with one other person there who I feel comfortable with than to be alone, and I always felt most in my element alone with my best friend. Those were (and still are when they happen) the moments where I feel most connected to other people. I guess I'm going through a sort of withdraw of that and it makes me feel lonely and depressed. Even in a group of my friends I don't feel connected like that and I'm having a hard time trying to find someone else with whom I can have a close individual bond. | I don't really have anyone present in my life who I feel individually close to anymore. The only times I truly don't feel alone are when I'm hanging out with somebody one on one and that's become rare lately. It's making be feel depressed and lonely. |
t3_4ymp7d | loseit | Lunch Breaks | I have worked at my current office for over 5 years, and for 5 years I have been skipping my lunch break. I eat a brown bag lunch in my office, or maybe run to grab some quick food (then eat that in my office).
Why did it take me 5 years to realize that I deserve a lunch break.... I earn it. Also, I work better if I get air. That's when I found a beautiful walking trail 3 min from my office! It's stunning, and I can walk or run.
In 5 years, times 52 weeks.... That's 1,300 hours I have volunteered that I could have spent outside, walking in a beautiful park listening to music and getting healthy!
F/32/180 | Discovered I like to walk on my lunch break. |
t3_141o8m | relationship_advice | I (23/F) had an affair.Have just ended it and planning to tell 3.5 year boyfriend (24/M) Want to take the steps to make this right and need some advice. | Hi Reddit.
I'm hoping for some advice. 6 weeks ago I began an affair with a work colleague. Ever since it has torn me up inside. I had a real connection with this person, but I think I tried to overplay how good it was and overplay any small flaws in my relationship to try and convince myself I'm not a bad person. I tried to convince myself I was in love with the other guy and my existing relationship was broken so that it would be a less scummy thing to do and so I could live with myself.
I couldn't, and I can't. I realised how fundamentally stupid I'd been, and I regret it immensely. I just literally broke the affair off, will not accept any contact and will change jobs to avoid contact again. I am prepared to do anything.
I feel so much torment and regret, and I have already put my partner through hell by attempting to break up several times around bullshit reasons, and from telling him partial truths about the affair. I am a weak, terrible person, and I am just trying to begin to make this even a little bit better.
My next step is to tell my partner everything. I know from lurking around on reddit reading stories that cheating is like a cancer on relationships, and catastrophic. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. He deserves to know the full truth and to make a decision whether or not he wants to stay with me. I will do anything to rebuild his trust. Anything I need to do, I will do. And more. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to him.
I just want some advice, Reddit. Am I doing the right thing in telling him? How should I tell him? How should I prepare? | Had a 6 week affair. Ended it. Need advice on how to tell my boyfriend and move forward. |
t3_1ytz9e | relationships | My (25f) fiance (28m) stole money from my mom and don't know what I should do. | Background: My fiance and I have been together for over a year and have had a very good relationship with only a few bumps in the road. He was overly jealous of other guys and always thought I would cheat on him because I was always getting male attention. Now, by fiance is a very good looking guy and he has girls trying to get with him all the time, even try to get him to cheat on me when they find out that he is with someone but neither of us are interested in that kind of thing. The jealousy has been taken care of and he trusts me now.
Today: My sister comes over for a smoke and wanted to talk to me about my mom and how they think she lost her credit card, also that there were purchases made on that credit card that none of us have made. My fiance ends up coming home around that time from work and my sister asks him too. I tell my sister that neither one of us knew where the card was and that we would never use it without telling my mom. I then find out later that my fiance DID actually make these purchases and that he not only lied to me, but to my mother and sister as well.
My fiance has had a lot of financial problems recently because he has been out of work for 3 months, but he just got a part-time job only a few weeks ago. Keep in mind that most of these charges where for gas, food and smokes.
I don't know what to think, I love him but i don't trust him anymore. | Fiance stole money from my mom and lied about it. |
t3_xytr1 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the funniest way you have quit/ been fired from a job? | I'll start out... When I was about 19, I worked at a college cafeteria as a pizza cook. The job was miserable. I was underpaid, overworked and to top it all off my bosses (sous chef and head chef) were assholes. One day it all reached a boiling point and I decided right then and there that I was quitting. Rather than just storming off like the mopey teenager I actually was, I decided that I would bake a masterpiece of a pizza and write on it, "I quit" and that is exactly what I ended up spending the next few hours doing. I made everything from scratch and let me tell you folks, this was a motherfucking incredible looking pizza. It was a towering monstrosity with at least 5 cheeses mixed in with some green peppers, olives, peperoni, sausage, canadian bacon all surrounded by a golden flaky crust that was itself stuffed with sauce, cheese, mushroom, feta. The most important part of all though, was the words "I quit" written in peperoni clearly on the top. I dropped off the pizza on my head chef's office desk and nonchalantly walked out of there. A few hours later they finally noticed I was gone and called me asking me where the hell I was, to which I responded, "Didn't you guys get my pizza?" While I was still on the phone, the guy finally walked into his office and I could hear him start shouting every curse in history at me right before he hung up. | I wrote "I quit" on a pizza in pepperoni and gave it to my very pissed off boss |
t3_3zebpa | relationships | It's been 10 years, how can I [25 M] still be infatuated with my friend [25 F]? | Some context:
I'm in a committed relationship with the mother of my child (but I will talk about the situation more generally since my relationship status seems to have no effect on how I feel regardless).
---------------------------------------------
This summer it will be 10 years since she and I became friends. She's incredibly fun and refreshing to be with and I quickly developed some feelings (as much as you can at 15). At some drunken point or another that summer I told her how I felt. She did not reciprocate but we stayed good friends. I thought that this would all blow over in time.
The next few years we stayed good friends and saw each other regularly whilst seeing other people romantically. However my feelings for her never diminished.
As these things often go we drifted apart. Part of the reason was a crappy relationship I was in but mostly it was because it became too painful to be around her. I tend to go into an obsession/semi-depressed spiral afterwards. For the last 5 years we've seen each other on average 1-2 times a year. She's complained regularly that we don't see each other enough.
The funny thing is is that I've learned a lot these past 10 years and I realize that we probably wouldn't even work as a couple but this has no effect on my feelings whatsoever. I hesitate to call it love but I'm not really sure what it is that I feel. I just don't understand how it can last this long.
I'm posting this now because I just saw her yesterday and I felt the need to ask and at the same time to get this off my chest. Typically I'm feeling quite down now, mostly because I realize that I can't really be around her, however much I may want to.
I hardly ever dream but my sleep last night was filled with vivid dreams of her.
As I reread this I realize that it probably sounds really creepy.
One last thing, we've not once mentioned my feelings since I initially brought it up 10 years ago. | The title really says it all |
t3_n891w | AskReddit | Need advice on buying computer for my dear mother | Hey Reddit - I need computer advice!
Problem: My mom's computer is old and crazy slow.
Solution: I want to get her a new one for x-mas without breaking the bank.
Question: Recommends on best desktops in the <$500 price range?
I am a reasonably intelligent person but am not comfortable building me own. I was looking around on newegg, ebay, etc. to see what's out there. I haven't bought a computer in a couple years and have no idea what I'm doing. Any input regarding what I should "expect" to get or what would be "good enough" to do the basic motherly tasks of running Windows 7, internet, skyping with her loving only child, playing games on shockwave and armorgames, the occasional "real" game. Her current computer is suuuper laggy and sucks. All (most) input is welcome! Thank you and good day. | Mom needs new computer. Son seeks crowd sourcing advice from those more tech savvy than he is. |
t3_2s0a58 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my 'crush' / friend [21 F] dont know how to feel about her past | well ive got feelings for my friend, but she doesnt know.. and we were discussing sexual history in our friendship group (few guys few girls, no couples) and it turns out she seems a bit wild, she has had a threesome (2 guys) and some stuff and slept with a number of guys
i honestly dont know how to feel, i know no one can tell me how to, but it seems like every time i meet a girl or every girl i meet (friend or otherwise) they seem to be a bit like that. am i just hung up on nothing and need to get over myself, i dont know if this puts me off her or not. but i suppose that doesnt matter because no one knows i like her like that anyway. or do i just keep trying to find someone who isnt like that. i dont know what im looking for here, just any friendly advice from anyone whos been there or with anything helpful to say
thanks in advance | slutty history of a crush, dont know how to feel |
t3_1iir87 | AskReddit | Have you ever sent the wrong text to someone? | Ok Reddit, make me feel better. I'm currently involved in a few Sext relationships as I call them, basically horny women, some single some not, who like to have bit of a raunchy chat. I have a habit of not saving the contacts in my phone for these particular people however this came back to bite me on the arse. I ended up sending a rather explicit text to the completely wrong person, to make matters worse it was a client I was trying to get business from, needless to say when you send a message that goes along the lines of "I want to f*** you so hard that your head punches through the drywall" the client took his business elsewhere. | When have you sent in inappropriate text/sext to the completely wrong person? |
t3_4obdwk | askwomenadvice | A question for ladies who have experience with Snapchat creeps | So, I've got a Snapchat. A friend, who I've always thought was a really cool chick, posts selfies of herself every now-and-then in her story. After a night of drinking, I woke up the next morning to find she's posted a selfie. I'm usually aggressively aware of myself when looking at stuff like this but my tired, hungover mind decided it was a good idea to screenshot her selfie. I immediately realized how creepy it was and deleted the screenshot, but much later, it dawned on me: "Snapchat has a feature that tells people when their crap is screenshot and by who." Then, I'm thinking I should just apologize outright to her but, being awkward and kinda lazy, decide not to.
Nothing happens though; she doesn't confront me about being a creep, and I see no sign that she's blocked me. A little while later she posts a story about something I really relate to. I chat at her about it and, surprisingly, she doesn't ignore me; we actually have a really good, fun conversation. It's like she has no idea I even did anything but she surely does. She's also shown signs of being into me in the past, and that's made me wonder if this is some super weird sign that she likes me now.
Anyhow, what I wanna ask is: from a woman's perspective, what the fuck is going on? | In a lapse of judgement, I screenshot a girl's Snapchat story, but she didn't react. No blocking me, no confrontation about it, and she didn't ignore me when we chatted again. Everything is as it was before. In your opinion, could there be any meaning to this at all, or did I just get away with murder? |
t3_ng7tp | AskReddit | Hey Reddit: do you have an awkward breakup from the past, you just can't escape from? | I'll start.
It's a long story, but I essentially ignored the girl so severely after arriving home from a trip that she thought I was cheating on her; I wasn't, but I did break up with her quickly after my homecoming to date the girl she thought I was already fucking. She never forgave me, her and her friends hate me forever and ever, cue bumping into each other at social gatherings for the next four years so we can bask in the awkward silence.
Fast forward to a week ago; we attend a high school reunion of sorts and go out to drinks after. We talk, laugh, everything seems comfortable again. so, I decide to send her a message on Facebook, try and re-add her so we can be friends again.
Thanks to Facebook's message history bullshit, if I ever send her a message it will show the last message we exchanged; Which is a heartfelt and mature message from her explaining why I was being an aloof bastard (an opinion with which I now agree). This message immediately proceeded me going over to her house and breaking her heart.
Nothing to do here... | Date girl, ignore girl, don't cheat but do break up with her to chase and date other girl, years later reunite and enjoy girl#1's company, try to message but see heartfelt letter in immediate message history exchanged right before I break her. No way to casually start anew. |
t3_492zjo | relationships | Me [26F] with my now ex [27M] of 6 years, broke up and I don't know what to do. | My boyfriend ended things with me after 6 years due to him being unhappy, yet still felt it was okay to sleep with me, days before he broke up with me.
This was my first serious relationship and my longest relationship too.
I don't exactly know how to feel at present, I have this whole mix of emotions and I just want to cry over everything that reminds me of him.
I did a lot for him over the years, we went through a lot as a couple too. I had some trust issues at one stage after people claimed he had slept with them, of course he would deny it and I believed everything he said.
So after he broke up with me, it turns out he has already moved on and is now seeing another girl.
My issue is how do I deal with this? I don't feel I can be his friend but I still love him and care about him so much. He says there will never be a chance together again, I'm just so heartbroken.
I don't have many friends so I'm feeling quite alone atm. | Boyfriend broke up with me and has instantly moved on and I have no idea how to deal with it. |
t3_54x5wv | tifu | TIFU by smoking at a smoke-free campus | So a little background, this actually happened today, about an hour ago. I'm a white guy in my early 20's and I attend a very large university that happens to be smoke free. Well, after a long class the only thing a smoker wants is a cigarette, naturally. So I'm standing outside my building burning one, away from most people (I don't try to be a dick or a cool kid smoking in high traffic areas) when this guys walks up. He's seems pretty concerned, and is frantically talking to me in a foreign language. Having no idea what this guy is trying to say to me, I'm like, "What's up man?"
Dude is starting to seem a little panicked and is pointing vigorously at my cigarette and looking over his shoulder. In my naïveté, I think he doesn't understand what I'm doing. I hold my smoke up and say in an exaggerated tone "this is a cigarette man, no worries." I take a solid drag to emphasize my point, and blow it out. The smoke catches the wind, and unintentionally blows right into the poor guy's face.
He doubles over and starts the most intense tirade of coughs, stands up and tries to bat the cig out of my hand, burning himself and yelping in the process. All the while a campus security guard is walking up behind him and asking if there's a problem. Dude shakes his head no, walks off, and the guard gives me a 65 dollar ticket for smoking.
... I think the guys was trying to save me from a ticket. | was smoking on a smoke free campus, thought a foreign guy who didn't speak English didn't understand cigarettes. Was probably trying to earn about a guard, who promptly ticketed me |
t3_3s53pk | relationships | Need an objective opinion...is this a red flag from my SO or am I just too sensitive? | My SO (30/M) and I (30/F) have been dating for about 8 months. For the first 5-6, thing were awesome. He showed me a ton of attention, complimented me constantly (not just the typical "You're pretty" but things like "You make me a better man"), and looked at me so adoringly that I felt more secure than I ever had in a relationship. Like most new relationships we had a very active sex life as well and he seemed so attracted to me.
However, in the last two months things have changed. He rarely compliments me anymore; to me it feels almost nonexistent. Definitely none of the grand things he used to say and barely ever that I am pretty, etc. I feel as though the desire to keep me happy is gone. He is still very physically affectionate (hugs, hand holding), we still spend the same amount of time together, he still involves me in most of his life. Something just feels off. Our sex life has diminished a bit too. Still pretty regular (4-5 times a week) but this also feels different. I guess less emotional and more like simple sex, if that makes sense.
I have talked to him about this; told him I felt that it seems his feelings for me have changed. He promises me they have not and have only intensified. He stated he feels like since I have been so worried about these things I have been sensitive to everything he says and it has made him subconsciously act differently but he swears he doesn't feel he is treating me differently.
Now I know I have my insecurities and worry he will leave me so I will admit this is playing into it. But I also know for a fact his actions have changed. So I am left confused. This is the first serious adult relationship I have been in, so I don't know if this is normal. Does this always happen and he figured by now I know how special I am to him? Am I being way to sensitive? Or is this reason for concern? | My SO seems to be less interested in me; am I being too sensitive or should I be worried? |
t3_3iudjm | relationships | Am I being needy? My [28F] boyfriend [30M] of 16 months hasn't said he loves me | As the title says, my boyfriend hasn't said he loves me. We've been together for 16 months, and we've talked about love a few times. I said it fairly early, within 6 months. At that point he said he just wasn't there yet, which was fine. It came up a few months ago, and I asked him if he loved me. He said he wanted to say it, but couldn't. I asked him what he did feel, and he said he felt protective.
I don't think he has ever actually loved anyone - and he doesn't really get empathy. He tries though.
Anyway, now I feel... well... confused, anxious, hurt. Like I should just be ok with it - three little words shouldn't be so important, right?
Has anyone experienced a similar situation? or been on the other side? What was the outcome? Or, could you live with never being told that your partner loves you? | boyfriend of 16 months hasn't said the L word |
t3_25urpn | dating_advice | I'm female and my friend's younger brother likes me but I am hesitant to let it go further | OK, so my problem is that my friend's younger brother likes me. He flirts with me all the time; I flirt back. I'm a nearly 25 year old female and he's nearly 20. I think I am very susceptible to giving in because it's been over a year since I've even kissed a guy. I am really craving that kind of attention, but I haven't met anyone that makes me feel this sexual since my breakup. In other words, I think about jumping his bones. All. The. Time. I would act on it if I let myself, but I would only want a friends with benefits sort of arrangement and not anything serious for reasons stemming from our obvious age gap. And I just really don't want to be in a relationship right now. A part of me feels like this is a pretty messed up thing to want from someone who is my friend's younger brother. I would want to minimize the risk of drama or ruining our friendship. | My friend's attractive younger brother really likes me (I'm female) and I only want him in a physical way. If he wants me in that way too, and I'm pretty sure he does, how should I handle this situation ethically? I would want to minimize the risk of drama or ruining my friendship with his sister. |
t3_3hzxvu | relationships | My (23M) fiancée (23F) wants to forgo wedding rings and combined finances | We've bern together 5 years, are recently engaged, and wedding is planned for next year.
When we were talking marriage she asked for no engagement ring. Unusual, but I went along with it. When people asked about the ring she says "I'm not a ring person" but she owns a lot of costume jewelry rings that she wears often.
Now, talking about the wedding, she says she doesn't want us to have wedding rings, because they're too much money. She also wants us to have a backyard picnic with McDonald's sandwiches instead of a wedding. I'm finding this really weird. She isn't cheap, but she claims it's time for us to settle down and start saving instead of spending. I'm all for that, but this seems extreme and tacky.
She also doesn't want us to combine finances. She says she doesn't feel comfortable with it. I currently make a lot more than her and will likely always do so. This separation of finances, coupled with the no wedding ring thing, is making me feel like we aren't going to be married. I felt bad enough about not giving her an engagement ring.
She has another friend who is planning an expensive wedding and my fiancée helped him pick out the ring for his fiancée. She really liked it, and it was $2000. Yet she insisted no ring for her. I could have at least gotten her some sort of ring.
Is she being odd her or is this normal? How can I tell her I want rings, a nice wedding, and combined finances? Is there a compromise? | My fiancé doesn't want wedding rings, a nice wedding, or finances combined. I make enough for us to have these things, but she says no. |
t3_2yo6bl | relationships | Me [28/m] Fiancee [28/f] - Suspicious behavior last night or am I being dumb? | So last night my fiancee and I were just sitting around, I was playing some games and she was doing work on her computer. At one point she gets up and leaves the room, and having to use the bathroom, I got up a moment later. When I walked out she was bent over the counter with her phone out doing what looks like one of those clevage shots. As soon as she noticed me she jumped and pulled the phone in and tried to close out snapchat as fast as possible.
I asked her what she was doing and she said she was just sending a picture of her face to her friend but she was adjusting her hair to make it look like she wasnt topless (she tends to walk around nude in our apt). I said why would you have the phone way out in front of you to be taking a picture of your face and why did you jump when I came in, she says she was just startled. I was pretty mad and went back to just playing my games, she spent the rest of the night sitting near me, trying to explain herself, but I was too mad to really listen, she also tried to initiate sex which is VERY rare for her.
So am I just being paranoid or does it seem suspicious? | Fiancee acts suspicious with snapchat photos, I'm not sure if I'm paranoid or not. |
t3_2ul0eb | relationships | I [18 M] always fight with my mother [50 F] and relationships straining | It's been almost a few months like this now. I've started a new job and college, and my mother and I don't really see each other a whole lot since we work different schedules. So when we do see each other, I try to make small talk, and she's usually watching TV.
Anyway, there are a few times whenre she says I have a severe attitude (I have gotten this from her.) Personally, I speak to her how she speaks to me because it irritates me how she does talk to some people. At these times, I am usually stressed or irritated over something. Today was no different. She said something and I said something back and she says "Why do i even talk to you anymore?" and stopped talking to me for the rest of the night. She spoke to my father, but completely ignored me. Now I feel like shit.
Is there some way I can try and fix this relationship or is it really game over because we are too alike in our attitudes?
We used to have a better relationship around a year or 2 ago. I'm a good kid, good grades, good friends, no drinking or smoking. | Son and mother fight and bud heads because of similar personalities. |
t3_4p7gm7 | relationships | My parents [both 45] want me [21M] to agreed to take care of my brother [3M] who has down syndrome after they die. I need help figuring out how to tell them they need to make other plans because I won't do it. | I was an only child until a few years ago when my parents decided to have another baby. Unfortunately my brother was born with down syndrome. I like him well enough, but I don't do babies, children, animals, or anything that requires me to be a caretaker. It's just not my thing, and it never will be, which is why I don't want to care for my brother after my parents die.
Lately they have been pushing me to commit to caring for my brother after they die or in the event something happens to them. It's not likely that this will be an issue any time soon, but I think it's important for them to understand my position now so they can make other plans for my brother's care.
That is my problem. I don't want to upset them or make them think I don't care about them or my brother. This is more about me and my personality. It's also about the fact that I wouldn't be very good at caring for my brother. I don't have the empathy or emotional availability to be a good caretaker, and that is why I don't ever plan on having kids with my girlfriend. How do I approach this topic without coming off as a huge jerk and upsetting my parents? | My parents want me to agree to care for my down syndrome brother if and when they die. I have absolutely no plans or desire to do that, and I need help telling my parents this in a sensitive way so that they can start making other plans. |
t3_2zm8ur | weddingplanning | [RANT] Has anyone worked with the Silver Beach in St Joseph, Mi? | I am getting infuriated with this hotel. It took a month or so to get a room block with this hotel back in the fall. I emailed them a week and a half ago about adding more rooms to the block since they told me when I booked it and I asked to add more rooms, they wouldn't do that until after my current block filled up.
The GM was on vacation, then took a day or two to get back to me (which I understand, emails fill up while you are out of town), then tells me to contact her after their desk manager talks to me about my block. I email him the next day... almost a week goes by so I called him, he just left for the day; email him again asking him to call me this morning after 10am, 30 minutes go by after 10 so I call him. I informed him people were coming back to me saying my block was full and he said there were only 3 rooms (now 2) left and that he forwarded my email to their GM about how many rooms I'm interested in.
I get off the call fill out the form the GM gave me and send her an email. Three and a half hours later I get an email saying fill out the form and she won't be able to give me the room block right away because she meets with rate manager (which is only once a week.) I told her that's fine as long as I get something next week because I have people calling, texting and emailing me about the rooms.
Unfortunately, the only reason we are going with this hotel is for my friends who can't afford the Boulevard (which doesn't do a discounted rate) and then it's literally the closest hotel to the reception (and the other new hotel in St Joseph were "fully booked" for May and super rude when we tried contacting them.)
I also just really want to throw a fit but I don't want them to refuse us rooms or do anything to my friends and family that are staying at the Silver Beach. | I'm just really really pissed off at this hotel and I have no other options for hotels that are affordable for my guests. Seriously, beware when working with this damn place. |
t3_28l4z7 | relationships | Me [28 M], recently got dumped by GF of 2 years. Thinking about going on the rebound. What's been your experience? | You can check my post history to get a bit more background. But basically, my GF of 2 years dumped me 5 weeks ago. During that time I really tried to win her back, but as we all know, it only made matters worse. Yesterday I found out she's already sleeping with at least one other person she's recently met, so I desperately want to move on.
However, I feel so lonely. I knew the relationship was bad for me for over a year, she was so emotionally abusive, but I wouldn't dump her. At first I thought it was because I loved her, I don't know, but honestly I feel like it was just because she's the only close "friend" I had. It was because I liked the little affection I got occasionally, even though I had to work so hard for it because she would turn me down on so many occasions to hang out with her friends or do her chores or whatever.
I'm very close to my family and they've been very supportive. But I don't have any friends to do stuff with, and I put all my attention on my EX the past two years, so I didn't even look at any other girl, because she was so jealous.
My gut tells me I should start talking to other girls, go on dates, see what I've been missing. I have so much more confidence in my own abilities now.
On the other hand, I think, what if I get with some girl that's not right for me because I am desperate? Honestly, that's what I did with my EX. She was my first. What if the rejections will only hurt me more?
I figure, if she started going out with other guys before and after dumping me, why can't I do the same to move on? I know it's different for guys, since it's much easier for girls to attract attention from guys and make themselves feel good.
Anyone have any experience with this approach? | GF dumped me. I feel lonely. I want to move on, but feel like the only way is to try dating other women. |
t3_32ef8m | tifu | TIFU by telling my friend i Have condoms for him in front of his now ex girl- friend (Possibly NSFW) | So my friend was with his girlfriend the other night and he`s texting me saying that he needs a condom, as some of you would say ,"don't ask me , buy them yourself you idiot" .I said that to him. So the next day comes and its about lunchtime at school and my best friend decides to pull a prank on that fucker . ( I showed him the texts and told him about it). He says I should tell him that I have condoms for him . As I gather up all my confidence for this retarded prank, SHOWTIME , I keep cool as i walk toward the two lovebirds in the hallway , and as i pass them , I say " I have the condoms you asked for " and i slowly but quickly walk away. She started to freak out. As hard as it was to keep a straight face , I held the straight face until i was out of the hall . Then walking back to a different hall were my other friends were , we laughed so hard , i almost shit myself , well not really , but you get the expression. End of lunch he`s walking back to class , were still laughing our asses off. then out of nowhere my other friend was like , "the bald eagle was on the hunt for some cunt" , because he recently had a haircut that made him look like caillou and somehow developed the name bald eagle from one of my classmates. That made us laugh even more .
All was well until a couple days later , they break up (insert drake music).And my first guess was because of my condom scheme , No it wasn't , turns out he didn't want to touch her boobs , and she wanted him to. They`re 14 and 16 | Pulled a prank on my friend that caused his girlfriend to break up with him. |
t3_2blm0c | relationships | Me [23 M] with my friends with benefits [22 F] who has a 8 month BF, should i break it up or continue? | Hi guys this is first time posting on this thread.
Firstly im a virgin, besides that im a cool guy who likes sports and nature etc
We met in class, we hit it off, and we kissed and made out for a couple ours in the library.
I gave her a ride many times(home) she lives like 8 mins away, fed her ,payed for her stuff, treated her like a gf, i even took her to six flags!
Recently, i fingered her in the park(very public location), it was my first time and i'm pretty sure she orgasmed, we cuddled and it was awesome.
The immediate next day she goes on vacation for 10 DAYS!!!
I cant get her out of my head.
Ive been exercising and studying even reading a book so i can not catch feelings. i like her alot and she knows it, but i doubt she'll ever leave her bf.
Only problem is her bf is like a super nerd (no offense). He plays games all night and wakes up at 5pm, he has a messy room and is not in shape. He also lives far way.
I feel bad for him because when i met him he was kinda lame, and might do something stupid if he found out what we do.
I kind of feel guilty that she is cheating on him with me. I know its wrong but i dont want to come out of this emotionally messed up.
BTW, this girl has some emotional baggage and i don't think i would want her as my gf...I do too but we are all f***ing human.
So guys because of these events, am i overthinking shit?
Should i continue to fool around with her knowing she'll go back to him?
Should i just stop and focus on my development before things get dicey?
Thanks guys | Virgin keeping a friend with benefit who has a bf. (i am very confused) |
t3_2dr143 | Advice | Overbearing Parents as I Get Ready for College | Title says it all. I'm preparing to leave for college a week from today and my parents are becoming even more overbearing.
I recently asked my dad when I could get my own bank account without him co-signed on it since I was finally 18 and I got a very sharp no from him. He used the reasoning that if I get my own, he can't put money into it. The problem with his answer is that he made it clear that all spending money was coming from my pocket and he wouldn't be helping me financially in that aspect.
Lately my parents have also been using Verizon's family tracker to track me to make sure that I'm only at places that they said I could be at. I went over to my girlfriend's house after work one night to drop her off some dinner and ended up staying to hang out for a bit. The next night my mom confronted me and made it clear that I would get my car and phone taken away if I did it again.
My curfew as a younger teen was always reasonable too. They would let me stay out until midnight on most non school nights. Now I'm even lucky to stay out past 11 without getting a pissed off call because I should be home.
I've never been a bad guy; I've always done what I was supposed to do, I haven't ever snuck out to party, and I've never done drugs or drank. I don't know why they're being so overbearing and I don't know how to tell them I want some freedom and a little independence. | Parents are being overbearing as I get ready to leave for college, I'm a good guy and feel there's no justifiable reason for it. |
t3_3ycl1n | legaladvice | Nieces don't want to sell property, but I do - Oklahoma | Hello, many family members know my username, so I'm using a throwaway.
My parents created a trust before they died and left the majority of their property and assets to me. They left out my brother because they had bailed him out of bankruptcy and given him tens of thousands of dollars through the years, while I had never asked for anything. One small piece of land with a home on it was left out of the trust, though. It connects to all of the other land that was left to me.
After they died, we went through probate court and had that piece of land that was not in the trust transferred to my brother and me. Since he didn't have a job or money, I always paid the property tax and have maintained all of the upkeep. When he died, I told his 3 daughters about the land and told them how to get his half put in their names. This was years ago, and they never did it. I have asked several times throughout the years. They have said they don't have the money to go through probate court. I still pay all of the property taxes.
I am getting older and want to sell this piece of land. I have many interested buyers. But my brother's name is still on it. When I talked to his daughters about this again recently, I told them I would pay for their costs to get it changed into their names and would then split the profits from selling the land. Two of the daughters said this would be fine. The third heard my proposal from her sister and has refused to take my calls. She also deleted me off of Facebook after I sent her a message. Her sisters tell me she wants to hold onto this piece of land because it's the last thing she has of her dad. She hasn't been to the state in years and, like her dad, has never paid the property tax. She also doesn't maintain the upkeep, and I don't have the time to do it anymore.
I am wondering if anything can be done in this situation. | My parents left a piece of property to my brother and me. He died, and his offspring refuse to have property put in their names. I want to sell, but one of his offspring won't even talk to me about it. I pay all property tax and maintain upkeep. |
t3_2ftm46 | dogs | Should I get another dog? | I've always loved dogs, but I've also always loved independence (i.e. being able to take a weekend trip at the last moment, go out with friends at night, etc.). My wife finally convinced me to get a dog a little over a year ago. Wilson has been great, I love the giant dope! I don't regret adopting him at all. But now my wife is trying to convince me that we need another dog. Her main reason being that she thinks Wilson needs a friend/playmate. I, however, am perfectly happy with our current dog situation and don't think we should get another one.
I agree that having a companion for Wilson would be a great thing, and I like the idea of helping another dog from the shelter where we got him. But it's a loving shelter that doesn't have problems finding homes for their dogs and takes great care in selecting the forever home, so I'm not worried about dooming the dog if we don't adopt her. My main concern is that it will be more difficult to adapt to an extra dog. We're still young, and newly married, and we have plans of traveling before we have kids. But it will be harder to find someone to look after two dogs while we do that. We're not hurting for money, but there's plenty we have/want to do with the money we have (house maintenance/renovations, car maintenance, student loan debt, traveling, etc.). An extra dog will mean extra money for more food, meds, vet bills, grooming, toys/treats, etc. Another dog will also mean an extra time commitment, I'm sure, even though we're already making the time for one dog (walks, play time, feeding, etc.). But a new dog is a wild card, there could be any number of unique idiosyncrasies that we have to work around (Wilson has his fair share of them).
I'm worried that I just don't want another dog for some unknown reason, and that I'm searching for justification. I'm also worried that my wife doesn't want a new dog for our benefit (like Wilson has been) but because she thinks Wilson wants a dog. What is your opinion r/dogs? | My wife wants another dog, but I do not. What's your opinion and why? |
t3_2b99in | relationships | Is he [M21] embarrassed of me [F20]? | I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and a half now, and although I will be the first to say that I have trust issues, I think I am right on this one.
He still has his facebook status as "single." On top of that, in our whole time dating, we haven't taken a single picture together, despite having gone on many dates. He isn't the type to really need privacy either. He has tons of pictures of ex-girlfriends, family, etc.
Even though I have told my family about him, I don't think he has told his family about me because he is reluctant to talk about me meeting them. These are some of the biggest clues, and there have been several other smaller ones throughout the relationship.
Am I right to believe that he is embarrassed of me? If you think he is, how exactly should I bring it up to him or ask him? | Boyfriend doesn't like to display any signs of me being in his life, am looking for ways to ask him about this. |
t3_1s1yt3 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [27M] 3 months - Twin Trouble | I met my boyfriend, Andrew, about four months ago. I met him and his identical twin brother, Jonathon, at the same time. When I first saw them I was more attracted to Jonathon, because I thought the way he smiled was really cute, but as I got to know them both more Andrew and I clicked really well. Jonathon didn't seem interested in me at all, so when Andrew asked me out, I said yes and I have no regrets! He's absolutely wonderful and I've fallen pretty hard for him.
Up until about a month and half ago everything was going really well, then Jonathon started showing interest in me. At first I thought it was just because I was going out with his brother and he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hurt him, but then he start quite obviously flirting with me (Only when Andrew wasn't around). I mentioned this to Andrew who said he'd talk to Jonathon about it.
In the last couple of weeks since the talk Jonathon's behavior has gotten worse and yesterday he actually kissed me. Andrew's been cheated on before and I don't know how to bring this up without hurting him or his relationship with his brother. I've told Jonathon that his behavior is not on, but he seems to think that I'm still attracted to him or something or that it's a game.
Help?! | My boyfriend's twin brother is making moves on me. Due to my boyfriend having been cheated on before, I don't know how to deal with this without hurting him. |
t3_1kv7x3 | relationships | Me [17F] and another girl [16F] confronting our mutual "boyfriend" today [17M] | She had been with him for over a year. Lost her virginity to him, all that. I was told she treated him terribly. He left her shortly after meeting me. We've been together for a while (not sure how long, maybe 2 1/2 months?)
This girl has been posting on facebook about him, how glad she was to have him back, finally, for about 2 weeks. I was extremely suspicious, but had no proof, and wanted to trust him.
Well, finally talked to her without her getting defensive (childish things, saying she couldn't wait for him to hurt me, he was going to leave me soon, blah blah) and found out that we have both been dating him for a while.
I didn't believe her at first. She's lied before. Made stuff up. But this... I am absolutely sure that this is real. Screenshots, testimony from adults on the subject, information about times and dates unaccounted for by one of us and confirmed to be with him by the other.
He does not know we found out yet.
Me and her, after having completely made up and her apologizing for calling me a liar and i for considering her delusional, have decided to confront him with a mutual friend of all of ours. He'll be the mediator, should anything go bad. He's waiting to see if what me and her say is true, and is in disbelief that this guy would do this as well. We are going over there for a surprise visit today at a time when the friend was supposed to go over anyway.
How can we go about this in a calm, drama-free(as much as possible) way so that there are no problems afterwards between us all? | Mutual boyfriend got caught, confronting him without him knowing. How to keep things from going crazy? |
t3_z5eec | relationships | I [19 F] moved across the country and now my boyfriend [19 M] is can't find time to talk. | In February, my family relocated from Kentucky to Florida, and I began a relationship right before I left. I was away a month and he had a hard time making time to talk to me. I ended up going back home for the summer and things were great. But we hardly had any time together alone. Barely had a sex life, either. Towards the end of the summer when I had to go back to Florida, we were spending every night with our friends, and no time alone. I tried to explain to him that that bothered me, but he never really got the point.
Now i'm back in florida, and we've hardly talked at all. He's been out with our friends every night since I left, and doesn't try to find the time to call or skype with me, even though he suggested it before I left. We've only been together 5 months, but I really don't want to break up with him. He's really good to me outside of his time management. | My bf of 5 months has been out every night since i moved 800 miles away. How can I get him to find time to talk to me? |
t3_3l4fph | relationships | My GF (19 F) and I (19 M) both just found that we have genital herpes | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months and I can tell
you that I am madly in love with her. Just a couple of hours ago it
was confirmed that we both have HSV-2. Both of us were shocked
because neither of us had experienced any symptoms of genital
herpes until just a few days ago. We both are going to make this
relationship work because we care about each other a lot.
I just wanted to ask if there is any other couple going through what we are going through and if you can offer any advice to help strengthen our relationship. | GF and I have genital herpes. Wondering how other relationships have handled this. |
t3_2wr12w | relationships | I [21M] am about to explain to my parents [50's] that I flunked out of college three times now. How do I go about this. | Like the title says I've failed classes for three semesters now. I did fine for my first three semesters and then shit hit the fan. I wasn't doing that hot in my Calc 2 class and then failed the first big test miserably. I felt so lost during the class. Then I found out i had been going to the wrong physics class also. This sent me into a downward spiral that I have not recovered from. Now I have to pay back student loans because I didn't earn them because I flunked out. I have been depressed for the past 7-8 years of my life and because of that I have become rather dependant on weed to not feel like shit/want to kill myself. I have been trying different medications for my depression but nothing has worked as of yet. My parents know I smoke and they haven't been too approving recently. I tried asking them for a break from classes to try and get my head on straight and they were going to oblige, however a few weeks before I had gotten caught with a few grams in my car (decriminalized state). So I got a citation and my name was put into the paper which my parents found out about. They were none too happy and told me I could either go to classes or they were cutting me off. I'm honestly at a loss for what I am supposed to tell them as I am going to see them tomorrow. I have to explain things because my loan is in default as I had no idea the consequences of failing that semester. Please, how can I go about this so my parents won't kick me out and cut me off? I have no money and nowhere to go so if they do i will probably end up killing myself. Another small detail is I believe I have adhd which partly explains why I couldn't cope with college. | I'm depressed, maybe have adhd, failed college, and have to let my rents know. How can I do so without them freaking out on me. |
t3_456otm | relationships | Is this 😘 an appropriate emoji to send to a friend of the opposite sex when you are in a relstionship? | I (25M) was using my girlfriend's (22F) phone (together for 7 months) to send myself a photo of the current state of my phone (cracked screen).
When I opened her messaging app I saw a conversation with a friend of hers from school where she said 😘😘. I didn't open the conversation but we were on the couch together so I immediately asked her about it and she said yeah, she uses that emoji with a lot of her friends, girls and guys.
She rarely uses that emoji with me (she says its because girls say "I love u" to their friends all the time but you wouldn't throw around "I love u" casually with the person you are with until you actually love them). She told me it wasn't serious, but I was angry so I sent her home. Am I right in being angry about this? | Girlfriend texted her guy friend 😘😘. Am I right in being upset? |
t3_3go6l9 | personalfinance | Required to report income change to Healthcare.gov (X-post to /r/obamacare) | I am currently making between 150% and 200% of the FPL, but this coming year I may get a raise, which would put me between 200% and 250%.
As I understand it, this would:
Reduce the premium tax credit I am eligible for
Reduce/eliminate the Cost Sharing Reduction subsidy for my insurance.
I am wondering if I'm required to report when I get the raise, and if so, when it's required/what the ramifications are if I don't report the change.
From what I've read, I know we'd have to repay a portion of the tax credit in April when I file taxes, but I haven't seen anywhere where there's a penalty for any cost sharing reduction benefits that I received. | It seems like I could benefit from not reporting an income change. Is that legal/ethical? |
t3_4xnkkb | tifu | TIFU by trying to make microwave noodles | Happened today.
Being a teenager I live my parents. They decided to go for a weekend getaway by themselves leaving me at home by myself.
After I had finished eating dinner tonight I was still hungry and I thought to myself "A bowl of microwave noodles will fill me up!". So I boiled the water which went fine, placed the noodles in a microwave safe glass bowl then combined the two together. This went fine, now here comes the fuck up.
I'm some one who likes noodles furthest from soup as possible. So as I usually do I put a little less water in than the packet says, only this time I put in a little bit too little. Not realising this I put the delicious ingredients into the microwave. Here comes fuck up number two.
Instead of setting the microwave for the recommended two minutes I unknowingly set it for ten. Then I went off and zoned out in front of the TV.
Came back to a kitchen full of noodle smoke and an unhappy microwave. I'm not even going to lie, I attempted to clean it up to hide the damage from my parents and also see the damage. While doing so I discovered; that the paint on the top of the microwave had bubble and gave way to the metal beneath, the glass rotating tray had cracked and when I lifted it out if snapped in half and the walls are now a off white colour. Miraculously the bowl with the noodles survived even if the noodles themselves didn't.
The roof after substantial scrubing:
The tray:
Me: Noodleless and saving up for a new microwave. | unintentionally hot boxed a room with microwave noodle smoke. Microwave is probably dead. Noodles tasted like burnt toast. |
t3_1ucq9f | relationships | I[18M] want to take my girl [18F] on romantic/thoughtful date and need ideas. | So I am attending college and have been seeing a girl since the end of October. I've never really dated anyone before (I've fooled around with girls throughout high school but never felt the need for a relationship). We both were hesitant to start a full fledged relationship at the beginning of our first semester of college as we both wanted to focus on other friends and our academics but as the semester progressed we both got pretty closed we go on dates and walks and kiss and we're basically a couple.
When I get back to college later this month I want to take her on a romantic date and talk with her about being in a real relationship (basically making it official that we're dating/bf and gf). I really want to do something special and just keep drawing a blank.
I originally was going to take her somewhere and have a picnic but because we go to school in Pennsylvania and its winter I'm not sure that's a good idea. I also kind of want it to be a surprise but I just can't think of anything.
Does /r/relationships have any cute/romantic ideas for me? | Dating girl, need romantic way to ask her out |
t3_2xboqw | relationships | Mom[50F] is super religious and intent on catching me[16M] slapping the sausage. Advice? | So I don't know what to make of my current situation, (obviously why I am making this post) and my friends are no help as they just find it hilarious.
My mother is a very Catholic woman, and somewhere along the line, decided to try and raise her children on the more, ahem, "conservative" end of the spectrum.
In her mind, this means absolute and extreme control on all aspects of our lives, ranging from church up to twice a week, adoration, etc... Basically the classic Catholic bullshit. Sadly for her, the "secular world" as she refers to it, infected me with their "Satanic, liberal lies", and alas, I am an atheist, in addition to being a democrat (or future democrat?).
Anyway, back to my predicament. My mother has taken it upon herself to enforce the laws of the Church. As my Dad is out of the picture (left her crazy ass), there is no one to call her out on this insanity.
Her idea of enforcement involves serious violation of privacy, IMO. She bursts into my room at random intervals trying to catch me shaking hands with my hot dog, took the locks off the bathroom door...
She even bursts into the shower to "confirm I am not wasting Gods seed". I don't know what to do, so I have to be prepared desperately rub one out at any time, (if she goes shopping, etc.).
However, the point is, I am pretty uncomfortable and feeling pretty "blue" if you know what I mean... | Mom is God's masturbation police officer. |
t3_36zgx6 | askwomenadvice | Do girls who flirt not always want a relationship? | So I'm a junior (m 16) in high school and there's this other junior girl (f 16) who I've known for three years and am good friends with who I've been into on and off this year. She starts flirting and sending me all the signs that lead me to believe she's interested. This isn't just light flirting, like I'm thinking it's pretty obvious she is into me.
She would randomly sit on my lap, touch me a lot lean into me when we were together, I even noticed one of her good friends one time was standing between us, then she looked at both of us and instantly moved out of the way from between us as if she wanted us to stand together.
So I worked up the courage yesterday to ask her out yesterday and she starts off with "Here's the deal..." (Great this is gonna go well). She says "I'm not at all looking for a relationship right now I just wanna have fun," and she repeated that fun part a couple of times. I have to know what could she possibly mean. I mean why would she flirt me up so much the past few days if she knew I was probably going to ask her out if she did so, and did she want something other than a relationship? | girl I've known for a few years really starts flirting with me then I ask her out and she tells me she's not looking for a relationship. |
t3_114w0u | relationships | [22M] just broke up with [19F] after a year and a half of dating. | And I have absolutely no idea if I did the right thing.
I'm right out of college, and she is finishing up school this spring. We've been happily dating the past year and a half, and some things have come up recently that have kept me from giving her the attention she deserves.
I'm not the most sane person (I just have a lot of odd personality quirks, none of them bad), as I'm very career-driven and aspire to do a lot of things in my life. I have a lot of hobbies, and I felt bad that I wasn't giving her the attention she needed. She was always there for me, no matter what.
She is an amazing girl, and I love her so much - which is why I broke up with her on Saturday. **I know she deserves someone better than myself, and I'm willing to look past the pain of not having her to ensure she's happy in the long run. | She is an amazing girl and I would take her back in a heart beat, but I'm trying to live with the fact that she could be happier with someone better than me. |
t3_hclfb | AskReddit | Reddit: Please help. My wife lied to me last week about where she was going. history in thread | Hello,
My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We have four kids and have had our issues. The latest of which was about 8 months ago when she was thinking of leaving me. She was in contact with her ex bf. I found out and told her that she needs to choose, and i am not going to wait around while she continues her relationship with him. I told her that if she wanted out, that was the time to leave and we could make it as amicable as possible. She decided to stay with me and give it one last go.
Everything was fine i thought, until this past week. Out of nowhere she texts me on thursday saying she made plans for me and the kids to go to a neighbors house and that she is going out with her friend (female) from work. She never has done that before so i was a little suspicious from that.
Well, she goes out and comes home seemingly fine. I let a few days go by and ask her yesterday if she had a good time and where she went. This is where she starts stumbling on her words and getting nervous as hell. I could tell right then she was lying about who/where she went on Thursday.
Last night i could not sleep at all and ended up grabbing her phone to check her messages. Yes I understand that this is wrong, but when your SO is lying to you, it's hard not to do stupid things like this.
Anyways i found a few text messages to a guy from her work. Apparently, she drove 55 miles away to watch him and another guy from her work play in an adult baseball league game. She went alone with no other friends. She was texting him durring the game and asking about his wife. She mentioned to him that she almost seperated from me in November.
Reddit, is it time to end my relationship? She just does not seem to care anymore. The only reason I am torn is the kids | my wife lied about going out with a friend and actually met up with two guys from her work instead |
t3_3qulct | relationships | Long distance open relationship advice (x-post r/longdistance) | My girlfriend (19) and I (20) have been together for 10 months now and due to a new job I have to move three hours away from her. At the beginning of June I moved 45 minutes away from her becuase to a job and we did long distance with me seeing her on the weekends when I was off work.
We don't want to split up as I will be back in April (seasonal job) but long distance already kills us. It's hard for us to both miss each other and going from seeing eachother every weekend to once a month sounds like it would torture us. We both do like the idea of being able to grow as individuals and get our lives figured out so that in April we can come back stronger than ever.
She is heartbroken about me leaving and I am to, it was my dream job (working at a ski resort) and it was hard to chose to stay and move in with her or follow my dream becuase I'm only young once.
I'm not sure if open relationships work over long distance and just wanted so advice and opinions. We are talking about what our plan is this weekend and I wanted to know some options.
The idea of us both seeing other people kills both of us but so does long distance. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation.
Thanks in advance for the help. | I am moving to a ski resort for a job during this winter. My girlfriend and I don't want to break up but we don't like long distance. Advice would be appreciated. |
t3_4a1k7b | relationships | I (20F) may be overly sensitive and get triggered easily. Help with BF (19M) of >1 year. | my entire life I was mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically and intimately abused. This left me with being triggered to some normal things that everyone does, in this case; shouting/increasing voice.
All physical abuse I was a victim of and witnessed has always started with shouting/raising voice. So when someone does it, it affects me but when my partners do it I just break down. Today I was trying on a dress I ordered online, and had difficulty closing it. My partner offered help. As he was helping he said "the dress is not closing are you sure it's the right size?" And I said "this happened before, remember? I think it's about zip" but he kept bringing up "are you sure it's right size" so often I just said "Yes I'm sure it's right size" and just tried moving away to handle it myself to which he raised his voice/shouted "oh my god always like this" (or something similar which I can not remember). I said "please don't shout it makes me feel bad" and then he calmed down and tried to help with the dress again. He again brought up "I don't think it's the right size" to which I replied with just sighing and moving away and he started shouting some stuff and I just started crying. I left to bathroom for two minutes and when I came back he told me how I am always starting a scene and stuff like that. Some more stuff was said and I left home crying (in a totally foreign country that I moved to be with him). And I'm just all by myself now
I just want to know if I'm being overly sensitive? | Boyfriend shouts at me and then says I am creating a scene for almost crying for getting triggered. Am I overly sensitive? |
t3_qeqcn | AskReddit | Why can't we mentally move on from something? Example inside.... | So I had a huge crush on this girl in Highschool, and it has been close to a year since I last saw her and I am trying to move on.
This girl was very shy with everyone except me, we would hangout over lunch together, I took her to prom, etc. etc. etc. At her graduation party I pretty much realized it was the last time I was going to see her and tried to glean some sort of closure from it, but she was just really friendly and warm to me.
The problem is that I can't quite get over her. Every time I am about to put memories of her into the "Long term storage" and move them out of the "Immediate importance" section of my brain something will happen to remind me how happy I thought I could have been with her. Just this morning I had a dream and she was in it (No, nothing lewd, just a dream and she was a participant(on that matter I have never really had a lewd thought about her at all)) and it reminded me how much I enjoyed her company.
I rationally realize that nothing will ever happen between us. I rationally want to move on. I want to keep the fond memories, but lose the ache inside about it. I want to be able to move on. I just want to give it up, but not forget.
Anyone else have a similar problem? Or is this just how it is with first (I don't believe it but the cliche fits) loves? | Cant get over this girl, I consciously want to, but just can't. Any similar problems or is this standard? |
t3_x79ly | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your unsung heroic story that you have never told anyone about? | When I was in 7th grade I used to walk to the donut store down the street after school and get a cherry coke and some donut holes. One day, after walking out from the store, a car sped up to the side of the store and slammed its brakes.
A mother jumps out and scrambles furiously to the passenger rear and plucks out her 3 year old daughter from her car seat. The 3 year old was lifeless. The mother was in tears.
"She swallowed something and now she's not breathing", she screamed.
I reacted so quickly that I hadn't thought twice about what I was about to do. I gently lifted the 3 year old in my arms and held her facing up with her head tilted towards the pavement and administered the Heimlich. I had remembered the procedure from watching a video in my health class earlier in the year. When no one else was watching I actually paid attention. "Thank goodness", I thought.
After what seemed like an eternity, the 3 year old coughed up a single dime. I was relieved. The mother was still crying.
I told her to call 911. I picked up my backpack and left. | I saved a 3 year old's life in the 7th grade using the Heimlich. |
t3_1pb34b | relationships | Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F] of 5 years, still love hher | So before I begin, I realize this is a pretty ridiculous problem.
When I was 15-16 I went out with this girl who became, and still is, my whole world. We broke up, as teenagers will do, and I never really got over her. I tried not seeing her, telling her my feelings, all the things that you would think of. I couldn't stay away though, finding myself reasons to talk with her, or convincing myself that my feelings had gone away. I went out with a few girls in between, but nothing really stuck or made me feel the same way.
Fast forward to tonight. I had the woman I love and another guy that she went out with as well over tonight for drinks and general camaraderie. I went to bed around two because I was too drunk and had to work the next day.
I woke up a short while later and walked upstairs to grab a drink of water. I then realized that neither of my friends were in the house. I was kinda worried, assuming that something had happened to them. I looked around the house and didn't find them.
Not too sure were they were, I went outside to continue my search. I noticed that my friends car had some strange sounds coming out of it.
Of course they were fucking in it. I over reacted. I ripped open the door, yelled at them, told them to fucking leave, screaming at them to get the fuck away from my house.
I went to my back porch to smoke a cigarette, and my friend (the male) came back into the house to grab their stuff. I told him I was sorry that I yelled, and that I over reacted. They both left, he drove her home. (I'm assuming)
So now I'm not really sure what to do. I know that I shouldn't be friends with her, but I love her. I always had this hope that maybe she'll change her mind and come back to me. I know she probably won't, but when we hang out, it seems like she wants more too. | I'm in love with a girl who I just caught fucking a friend of mine. |
t3_2h05ex | relationships | (RELATIONSHIPS) I (m20) and my girlfriend of 2.5 years (f20) have been having occasional issues and I don't know how or if I want to get out. | We have been dating since high school, we lost our virginities to each other. We have lived together for over a year and a half. I am pretty heavily invested in her family. (I am "Uncle Teampimp" to her nephew, treated like a member of the family) which does not make me uncomfortable in the slightest.
I love this girl, but we occasionally have problems. She doesn't have a car or license, and doesn't show much of an interest in getting either. She has messy house habits that kind of get to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no clean freak, but it's really bad with her at times. I work full time and when I'm not, I'm expected to drive her around unless I make an issue of it which starts a fight sometimes.
I haven't put much thought into ending our relationship until recently. I wouldn't know how to begin. She had suffered from depression since age 10 because of her parents' divorce and she is extremely fragile. We had a slight break up after about a year, and she bottomed out emotionally until we got back together. I don't want to do this to her again.
I have come to the conclusion that I love her and am attracted to her, but am not IN love. At least not to the same degree that she is with me. I really don't know what to do. Please ask questions and I will be glad to elaborate however I can. Thanks. | in a long term relationship, looking for a way out without ruining my life |
t3_36aqiq | relationships | Getting blown off by your SO blows. | My girlfriend(f25) works at a bar. Her license is suspended, so quite often, I'll(m22) meet her once the bar is closing down to make sure she gets home. Well last night i was drunk so i walked there. She comes up to me outside and asks "What're you doing?". I tell her the party i was at started to die down and i wanted to hang out with her lovely self. She tells me she's going to her bosses house for a party(same as last night) and i can't come. She says i'm already drunk and i'll just pass out. SO points at the cab out front and tells me to either wait for her at her house or go home. I went home. This has me feeling some type of way reddit. Am i over reacting? | Girlfriend of 1 year makes me take a cab home instead of going to a party with her. I feel unwanted/suspicious. |
t3_3tkquf | tifu | TIFU by telling my girlfriend about the 'poo fairy' | This is a gradual fuck up I suppose but only found out yesterday. I've been with my gf for around 10 months and everything is pretty good. However, Since the beginning of the relationship I've been joking about the 'poo fairy' which takes away the idea in guys minds that girls in actual fact , do need to do number 2 just like we do. Unfortunately she took this a little too seriously and has avoided this basic bodily function whenever we're together , thinking I'll be so disgusted by it if I 'found out' I'd break up with her..
She kept telling me to leave for no reason throughout the year with some excuse and even faked a day of bad period pain on holiday making me go out and enjoy myself, cos she 'didn't want to hold me back'... Just so she could take a dump! And she's been telling all her friends how I won't let her go to the toilet or anything. So after I renounced my belief in the poo fairy after a drunk conversation about the topic, all is good, and I have to cope with being the accidental poo tyrant of the year.. | girlfriend takes stupid poo joke too seriously. I feel guilty for inadvertently stopping her go poo |
t3_2cns6t | relationships | I [25M] am falling deeply in love with my girlfriend's [26F] best friend. | I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over 2.5 years, and I love her dearly. But as of late, we've been fighting a lot. We hardly have sex anymore, and everything feels like a struggle.
I've known her best friend for years. And we've always been on fine terms, but over the last year we've gotten quite close. I text her more than my own gf. I just spent the last two weeks hanging out exclusively with her.
We haven't hooked up or kissed, but we've danced, hiked, hugged, walked, talked for literally hours on end, and drank until we couldn't anymore. The only thing holding us back is that we both care for my gf so much.
What do I do?
I could break up with my gf, but there's no guarantee of the friend working out. I've kept myself intentionally teetering on the edge of the friend zone with her, scared of making the plunge, knowing it would break my gf's heart and ruin their friendship. Or I could keep wondering what if.. | crazy about my gf's best friend |
t3_w108t | AskReddit | Hello Reddit, I want to hear your stories on social situations that have completely turned around without warning. | Inspired by the Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin/Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin memes, I want to hear your stories of social situations that were going very steadily in one direction, then, for some inexplicable reason, something came along and turned that the fuck around.
I'm afraid I don't have much of an example to give you, but I'll try.
I went to a school dance for the first time since 7th grade (I'm currently in 9th) and I was completely out of my depth. I only went at the request of a girl I like (who turned me down later that night), and I was feeling really awkward. I was half-dancing with a group of girls from my class who I didn't really know as none of my friends were there.
I was feeling pretty foolish and people were *definitely* noticing how I looked like an idiot, so I figured, "hey, I just gotta get loose, live in the moment, whatever".
So I donned a hoodie that I had taken off earlier, then casually walked up to the hottest girl in the grade, and fucking grabbed that ass.
Pretty lame I guess, but it's sort of a big deal for me. Gave me the adrenaline shot I needed to loosen up for the rest of the night. Plus, bragging rights with my friends. I'm actually surprised they believed me. But yeah.
Now it's your turn. How has a social situation inexplicably taken a turn for the unexpected? | read the fucking post you lazy twats. |
t3_2oe21o | loseit | Check your scales! [NSV, sort of, maybe?] | So there I was, heartbroken that I'd stopped losing weight so early in this journey. Grrr. I went to the doctors about some other stuff and if the medication I am on is somehow interfering. He weighed me. In sheer terror, I stood on his scales...
OH MY GOD. A WHOLE STONE DIFFERENT TO THE ONES AT HOME. Not even kidding. Got him to check about 3 times, and then checked again at home and it turns out that because mine are just base level, cheap scales, they are wildly inaccurate! Performed a similar check with my SO before I got too excited, and they put him at a stone more than he is as well!
So instead of being in the higher end of overweight, I'm now JUST on the cusp of it instead! Woohoo! | ? CHECK YOUR SCALES, THEY MIGHT BE WRONG! |
t3_2l3j5r | weddingplanning | Disagreement with FH about one person's wedding invitation | So, for context, my fiancé and I both come from large families, and we're looking at inviting about 200-250 people total, which is a lot. Almost overwhelmingly so, for me. Money isn't really an issue, but I'd rather spend less if possible and cut the guest list where we can. We're not getting married until fall 2016, so we have lots of time to plan.
So far, we've been in agreement or willing to compromise about the wedding in general and the guest list, but there's one person who he wants to invite who I really just don't. This girl is his younger sister's good (best?) friend, and she's stayed at his house a few times visiting. She went to the same college as us, but I barely know her. My main experiences with her are when his sister and her would sometimes stop by my fiancé's fraternity on weekends, go to his room to drink a few shots of his alcohol, and then leave. Which I thought was kind of tacky to be basically using him for his booze, although my fiancé didn't mind, so I didn't say anything.
I don't really understand why he wants to invite her. As far as I can tell, she's friends with his sister, not him. Aside from minor annoyance at the booze-using, I really do like his sister and am glad to have her in the wedding party, but I don't feel obligated to invite her bff to the wedding. We'll definitely be inviting the sister's boyfriend, so it's not like she'll be lonely.
Also, her friend has made comments/jokes (I wasn't there, this is secondhand) about being our flower girl, which I find kind of weird. I don't hate this chick or have a problem with her, but I would feel annoyed with having her at our already overly-large wedding. I tried discussing this with my fiancé to understand why he wants to invite her and better convey why I don't, but he just said to drop it for now.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just consent to inviting this girl, or insist on not having her? | FH wants to invite his sister's friend who I barely know to already-large wedding, and I don't. What to do? |
t3_4407op | relationships | I [22F] got used and dumped by my ex [25M] 2 years ago, I never really told him how I felt, his friends defended him | He was my first, it lasted some months, and it was great for me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, one day he decides he "doesn't really know what he wants, he's lost in life, he's not sure" etc. and that "we should break up". I was depressed for weeks, because I couldn't understand.
He had told some mutual guy friends that I was "the one" and that it was "serious" in order to push them out of the way. He used me, dumped me, and left.
Thing is, I'm going to have a party (in truth, joining a pary with another person, who invited him without my knowledge, because THEY are friends somehow). I never got the chance to tell him how much he hurt me, and all that stuff. I found out a few months ago he's been with 20 or more girls, just for sex. I felt sick. His friends have always been on his side, defending him by saying that he went through some things in the past, which other girls did to him, as if this was some kind of justification! I don't know what hurts more, this attitude, or what he did.
I want to tell him a few things, and then tell him to never go anywhere I am, and to never bother speaking to me again. Is it too late? What should I even do/say? I am still going, because afterall the party is half mine, and whoever me and my friend invite are welcome. | Got dumped, friends defended the guy, I'm going to conjoin a party and he's invited. How to act? |
t3_kt1jd | AskReddit | Reddit, can you provide me some help/ideas? | To make a very long story short. My wife has a rather severe case of Crohn's. She's an occupational therapist. The problems that this presents is that she's basically unable to work full time, as any time she works full time, for any length of time, she ends up having to go in for surgery as a result of the Crohn's (already at 2 feet of small intestine taken out and she's 24). This then obviously cascades and creates several problems for us as a unit.
She can work, but it has to be a 'less stressful' environment, and the strenuous physical activity has to be pretty minimal. Additionally full time may be entirely out of the question.
There's a ton of student loans from the degree, in the 6 figures. Translates to expensive monthly payments. So simply 'not working' is not an option for us.
She has a pre-existing condition. So private insurance is not an option (not without an insane, unmanageable price tag). I can put her on my work insurance, but still have the price tag issue (over $500 increase a month). And this doesn't include the high co-pays, etc.
I've looked at the obvious stuff, loan discharge, disability, etc. But we don't qualify for any of this for a variety of reasons, her age, education (master's degree), etc etc. So I defer to the community in the hope that someone may have some advice, the key areas I'm hoping someone can help me with are...
1. Work. Ideas for how to work, where to work...even more preferable legitimate work from home possibilities that don't require more education.
2. Loans. Ideas/suggestions for loan forgiveness, discharge, something.
3. Insurance. I don't even know on this one where to go.
Thank you, Reddit, thank you in advance. | wife has crohn's, need ideas to work around high insurance costs, high loan payments, and inability to work full time. |
t3_4qdjxa | relationships | Me [29 F] very clueless with this guy [29 M] I like... who may or may not like me too | I was a relationship for a combined total of nine years (4 years for the first, 5 years for the second) and have only been single again for a year and a half - which means I skipped the fun part of dating in my early and mid twenties. Yay me! I'm pretty much clueless at modern-day dating.
Now I'm in my late twenties, and I was introduced three months ago to this guy who is dreamy in every way. We've gone on four out of town trips together with my friends and his friends. Each time we end up having moments where it's just the two of us talking - usually until the wee hours of the morning. People who don't know I like him are noticing a "different dynamic" between the two of us - apparently not just one sided - and a few of my friends who met him for the first time during one hangout actually thought we were a couple.
Unfortunately, the boldest move he's made so far is to ask me to join him and two of his friends to a surf trip when he found out my birthday plans to go to the beach fell through. He asked me at the last minute and made sure I was pampered the entire trip.
I like being friends with this guy, but even more than that, the more I get to know him, the more I grow to like him. But he hasn't asked me out for coffee or dinner, and I'm afraid to be the one to ask. I'm clueless at dating and he's quite the mysterious type so I can't read him as well as I read other people, but everyone - my friends and his friends - is urging me to just invite him for coffee, a drink, or dinner already. What should I do? | version: I like this guy, our friends say he's interested, but he hasn't made a definitive move to ask me out. They say I should invite him to coffee or dinner or drinks. I'm clueless at dating. What should I do? |
t3_2buw34 | relationships | I [18 F], get blamed on for everything by my boyfriend[20] | Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now and everything has been great except for his behaviour lately.
Recently he has been only thinking about himself, forcing me to do stuff for him and literally everything is my fault.
He is constantly eating food in front of me and rarely lets me have some and he is also constantly taking things from me. Yesterday i was hanging out at his house and we were planning on smoking a blunt so we did and afterwards I was feeling sick and just needed to lie down, but first I had to clean up water he spilled. When I was done I went a lied down on his bed because I couldn't keep standing without feeling like I had to puke.
He got furious that I even dared to go on his bed when I was sick even though I just needed to lie down, and made me sleep on the floor next to the bed.
I didn't say anything because I really just needed to go to sleep and talking about it would start a fight and that would end up in him explaining that since I rolled the blunt its my fault
or something that won't be arguable
because it's impossible to get a word in with him.
How do I get him to listen and just think rationally? | boyfriend constantly accuses me as root of problem and doesn't listen. |
t3_411tlf | relationship_advice | I [24/M] am almost done with my current relationship [19/F], and feel guilty about feelings for the awesome girl at work [21/F] | S.O. and I have had a lot of struggles. We live together, and i provide the majority of financial support, car, and almost everything else. We get along mostly, but consistently get into spats and arguments. I'm tired of it, and we both try, but it still feels like we argue and fight too often. Part of the trouble is there isn't any way of leaving without screwing her over, and I still care about her.
Found out the awesome girl at work is going through something very similar with her SO as well. We've talked to each other, and given each other a little advice.
I definitely have a crush on her, but I feel bad because I am still in a LTR and so is she. (No idea if she feels anything for me). Also feel bad because a part of me wants her relationship to fail (though I'm not trying to sabotage or anything, promise.). | Hots for the dream girl at work, but we are both in possibly failing relationships still, feel guilty about it. |
t3_2vdbwi | tifu | TIFU by grabbing a women's titty and my boss saw me | This actually happened a couple of years ago when I was 16 working at one of my local department stores. Anyways, I worked at the click or collect counter of this store where people would buy stuff online and come to pick it up saving them the delivery charges and what not. This one time a middle aged, fairly robust women picked up her parcel and wanted to open it and look at it at the counter. Since the store was empty at this time I offered to help her open it up as it was a big box. This is where I fucked up... My boss was sat down the counter from me doing some paper work or drawing pictures or some crap so I had to work quickly as she had been having a go at me recently for 'not going the extra distance' with customers. Eager to show her I would go 'the extra distance' I lunged forward to help this women open the box. As this happened she moved it slightly to get a better grip however my lunge continued, everything went in slow motion as my arm continued to fire forward and unable to stop it I ended up grabbing the women's titties. I froze slightly as I didn't know what the hell to do but since I froze I was stood there for a good second cradling this womens breast. After I got my mind together I quickly drew my hand away, but my hand was still slightly clenched which resulted in me pulling her boob too. I went red faced and apologised profusely, she didn't mind, she was cool with it, in fact I think she enjoyed it... | tried to help a customer, grabbed her titty |
t3_1bo6vq | relationships | I need some serious advice on how to save my relationship. 16F and 17M | Hey reddit, things have gone so far south in my relationship and I need help bad. As of right now we haven't been together since Sunday. We've been dating for about a year, with a break over last summer. She (16F) said she hasn't been happy lately and it resulted in us breaking up. We've been talking and I've found out that it was because I wasn't doing enough to be a good boyfriend. I realize this now and am trying to get another chance. We're meeting up tomorrow to talk and I need some advice on how I can prove it to her I want to change and fix things?
Also about the break over summer that I mentioned earlier, it was much harder on me than her. I really can't go back to what that was like and I need her in my life. I love her and I will really do anything to get her back and be a better boyfriend. I know what I need to do to be a better one, I just need to get the chance. How can I do this? I hope this made sense, if not just ask. | I need help to get a second chance with 16F, I, 17M love her and will do anything to fix this. Year long relationship |
t3_3cswqz | relationships | My sister [36 F] and her boyfriend [36 M] have been in a 3.5 year off-and-on, toxic relationship, how should I act as a brother? | My sister is has been in an off/on relationship with an guy for 3.5 years. They have a daughter. Here are the highlights:
-She met guy a month after previous relationship (common occurrence in her love life).
-She called me explaining she was concerned he was using drugs (surprise, he was!) in which I told her to run for the hills (she didn't). He says he has stopped.
-She gets pregnant. Has the baby.
-She finds out he has cheated on her. Gives him a second chance.
-She finds out he IS in fact using drugs. Hard drugs. Herion/crack.
-They break it off and he leaves a goes to rehab for seven months. He passes his rehab course. Comes back.
-They start their relationship again.
-She finds out he has cheated on her again. She breaks it off, hails to never "be that dumb again." Five months pass.
-As of today, I find out they are once again in a relationship.
My parents/siblings have our own theories as to why she would continue enduring this misery (lack of self-control: smoker-cant quit, low self-esteem, easily manipulated, combination of all those) but in all honesty that's not really my main concern. Though, I do believe it is vital in understanding this in order to help her find an exit strategy.
So here's the deal, how do I act? I don't believe in giving unsolicited advice to people, I think people should make whatever decisions they want to and live their life even if I heavily disagree with it. But I do not want to act in any way that may give her the impression that I am ok with this. Should I forbid him from coming over my house with her? Should I ignore him when he's around? Should I break my own personal protocol and talk with her in a cool and calm manner?
Let me know if you'd like any additional information.
Please help. | Sister is in toxic relationship which she continues to endure, how should I act as a brother? |
t3_35muqd | tifu | TIFU By Not Doing Anything For Mother's Day | I goofed up big time guys. So yesterday was mother's day right? My dad usually plans something and gets all the kids in on it. This year he and my brother were away for the weekend and it was just my mother, sister, and I at home.
I didn't buy her anything because I can't go out without her knowing and I wouldn't know what to buy her. My dad left no instructions so I thought I'd get by with just wishing her a happy Mother's Day.
WRONG
When we got back from Mass, my sister and I got an earful about how we don't love her. My sister gave her a card she had made but it was too late as the yelling had already happened.
My neighbor and sister made her a coffee since she was upset I didn't offer to buy her one after Mass.
Out of guilt my sister and I made her waffles for lunch but she was still mad and is still mad today. She thinks we don't love her and couldn't be bothered to show our appreciation.
Oh, she's also mad because I didn't hug her on Mother's Day but in my defense, it was just too hot.
I'm known to be a compete "Sheldon" if you will. That is, I don't know a thing about social concepts. It's bad. I thought she'd be happy with a simple "Happy Mother's Day" but alas, I was so very wrong.
I'm still in the doghouse and she says she'll be upset all week. My dad also forgot to text her "Happy Mother's Day". He didn't do so until she texted him so that's not helping my either.
I don't know what to do. Got any ideas? | I didn't do anything for my mother for Mother's Day and now I'm in the doghouse. |
t3_2zx8kr | relationship_advice | My boyfriend treat me like a friend, and I am falling out of love [24F, 30M] | My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I live with him in his home.
I'm not happy. He treat me more like a friend instead of his girlfriend except we have sex. It becomes exhausting and I do not feel loved or appreciate. I feel like he takes me for granted. He can be selfish and think that he does not listen to me sometimes.
I tried to tell him several times when he does something that bother me, but he does not seem to hear me. I know this, because eventually I will get so frustrated and cry after making multiple tries to talk about something important. He asked what was wrong and say, "I do not understand , I thought everything was OK!".
Because of this, he will be shocked if I tell how frustrated I am. Because he does not show me romance, I am not in love now because I feel like a friend.
I want to talk and try to see what is happening and if it can be fixed. I was crazy about him when we first dated but now I am lonely. But how do I start to talk about something so negative? He will not see it coming.
Sorry for my English. | Boyfriend treat me like his friend, not girlfriend. I am lonely and have no patience. I do not know how to talk to him. |
t3_eprhm | AskReddit | What do I do now? | I will be expected to support myself soon but before breaking down and getting a real job I want to try to do something that I'll love (meaning get a part time, minimum wage job while doing acting and maybe making some short films) my idea of success is pretty broad and for the sake of this post lets just assume that I'm capable of achieving a realistic level of success. That said, what do I do when I finish college? These are my options as I see them:
A. Move to a big city while I eat up my savings trying to settle in and try to achieve some sort of success
B. Move back home, try to spend most of my time traveling and then get a job and settle somewhere else
C. Stay where I am and try to get some more experience before setting out to said big city
I just don't know what to do, in the short run I think it would be nicer to travel but I'm worried that I'll regret not trying to do something more when I had the chance. | I refuse to get a job I'll hate before at least trying to do something I'll like, should I travel or settle down in a city that I can't afford? What would you do? |
t3_21n06f | relationships | My boyfriend[m 18], just asked me [f 18] to marry him after dating for 7 months. Should we wait? | So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months, and yesterday he asked me to marry him. The question on my mind is not whether to say yes or not, but how long we should wait for everything. I'm heading off to a college about an hour away in September, but will be living mainly with him and travelling to school.
My original thought was to announce to my parents in about a year from now, when he and I will both be 19, then have the wedding in the fall of 2016. However, the more I consider everything, the less I want to wait. If I could I would plan for a marriage late summer of next year.
My question is, is en engagement at 7 months and a marriage at almost two years a decent amount of time to wait? Before I get any "You're simply too young to even be considering it." or "You don't know each other well enough." I know this is the man I want to marry. He has helped me through countless troubles, personal, family or with him. We make each other better people, and I can't imagine my life without him there for me. Our communication skills rival that of both mine and his parents, who have been happily married for 25+ years, and there is nothing that we cannot discuss.
In my mind marrying at 19 will not be that much different than at 20. | Is marrying my boyfriend, when both of us are 19 and will have been dating for two years too soon? What is the difference between marrying at 19 and 20? |
t3_2yj6ia | relationships | Me [17M] with my gf [17F] of 2 years, need to know how to end things with minimal damage to both of us | Things have been shaky for a couple of months now, to the point where i'm always worrying about her. I have a theory that she's behaving the way she does cause she's too scared of breaking up with me first and wants me to be the one to do it, so I'd be doing this for her more than me. I've been wrong before though. I love her so much, in fact i'm still gonna give it 2 more weeks for things to sort themselves and I'm gonna try my best to help it to get better. However i'm not so sure i'm very optimistic about the outcome, so I need some advice.
Like the title says, how do I end things with minimal damage to our relationship, by that I mean, we were great friends before this. And while going out with her brought me most of the greatest moments of my life so far, I don't want it to continue if i'm the only one in the relationship. | Not feeling optimistic about the fate of our bf/gf relationship, need to know how to break up with her while doing minimal damage and maintaining the great friendship we had before this. As much as I dont want to. |
t3_4j2bs0 | relationship_advice | [19/F] Having trouble decide if I should keep the baby because of muslim family issues. | I currently live in the US with part of my family. The rest are still back home and are very muslim. My father is also back home. He had cut me off for a long time but recently came back into my life as a means to pay for college.
I have two fears for this child. One, he/she would grow up hated by a lot of people because I am not married to my boyfriend (thought we love each other very much). This is similar to how I grew up. Nobody wanted me and it caused a lot of issues. I don;t want the kid to have the childhood I did, Secondly, I am worried my dad will cut me off from college tuition. then I can't go to college and I'm really fucked.
The side of the family here will be easier to convince and the baby daddy will stick around. Money for the kid is not a problem either as he is done with college and has full-time job, and I am a junior in college, and also work a high paying job.
Disclaimer:
I am not sure I am pregnant or not yet. I have been on birth control for months and have not missed a pill. He has also pulled out every time. This baby is not planned for at all, but he/she is welcome in my opinion. I got pregnant about 2 years ago under the same unlikely conditions. and was convinced into abortion. I don;t really want to kill two babies in my life time. | I might be pregnant and having the child may cause a lot of issues with the muslim side of the family. Abortion and wait for later to have a child? Or say fuck it and keep the baby? |
t3_28qd4o | relationships | Me [24 M] with my ex [23 F] of just over a year, how to deal with the break up | Hi /r/relationships, my ex broke up with me just under 2 weeks ago because she wasn't in love with me anymore. I'm no longer a quivering wreck, which is handy because I have a life to get on with, but I still feel an acute sense of loss which is compounded because my mind will wander to thoughts or memories about her whenever I'm bored and have nothing to do.
I'm also finding myself feeling very lonely, and although I've got a fantastic group of friends who are there for me they have their own lives to lead and are busy sometimes so I'm left to my own devices and thoughts.
Compared to last week I'm so much better now, it's less like my gut being ripped out and more like I've eaten something which doesn't agree with me. And I'm slowly starting to lose the hope that she'll change her mind and say that she was mistaken (although what would happen in that situation is something I've thought about a lot and I'm not sure what I would do now).
I'm just curious how those who have been in my position before have dealt with it? I know it's something everything goes through, and there's no quick-fix or one-size-fits-all answer but hopefully I can take some insipration from the experiences of others. | GF broke up with me, how do I deal with it from here? |
t3_2maor2 | relationships | I [25M] don't know what to make of relationship with [23F] | So, I'll try to keep this short.
I met this girl online (read: tinder) and everything was awesome. Chatted a lot, went out two days in a row then she went away for a week to visit family.
Queue a week of chatting sporadically and I offered to pick her up from the airport. Pick her up, and take her home and on the way she asks me if I want to stay (wasn't expecting that).
So I stay and yeah... Anyway. Chatting away and there was some questions which we both answered one of which was 'has anyone ever asked you to marry them' so I answered truthfully that I had been engaged (long story) and she went funny on me.
Told me that chatting had to slow down and that we could only talk every so often. I asked her if she wanted to meet up and she said maybe then said no at the last minute. Fair enough. No biggie.
She then says that maybe we should stop talking so we do. I'm a bit confused at this point, we're both adults, the past is the past.
So I get a snapchat from her the other day and I reply. We start chatting again and I mentioned that we had plans for next Friday. She seems to be completely up for still seeing me so now I'm even more perplexed!
WTH is going on here. I like her quite a bit. She has very similar humour to me and everything is easy if that makes sense. | Girl is playing me hot and cold, going from not talking to me to wanting to see me. |
t3_1gkh2m | loseit | I have a pretty serious out of control binge eating disorder. | It started in 2009 when my aunt died. Before getting pregnant in 2011 I was able to stop. I put on 50lbs in four months. Now that I have my son and he has some health issues it emerged pretty badly again. He was five weeks early, had breathing issues and then when that got over with he had growth issues related to his thyroid. Today he was dehydrated and lethargic.
I feel so stressed out and upset. I then binge in secret. I was eating globs on con queso. When I ran into the store for some groceries AFTER we were discharged I bought several chocolate bars and downed them before my husband saw(he was in the car with sleeping baby). I then lied when he said he smelled chocolate and acted like he was insane. It's like I binge before, during and after an emotional upset. It used to be just during.
I'm 5'7.5 and have quite a bit to lose. It just seems I can't handle the stress/upsets of life anymore. I hate when I binge but I keep doing it. I want to be healthy since I am tired, moody and can't keep up with my son. I am in counseling but he feels like it's a rection to hurt and once I rationalize my hurts/anger it will go away. I don't think it will since I feel like I don't have any anger issues but I can't control my bingeing. It's getting out of control. I'm so ashamed and disgusted. My husband doesn't know I'm bingeing as much as I do. I think we could shave off sometimes as much as 200 bucks if I just STOPPED. Can anyone help? | Bingeing is getting out of control. Help. |
t3_fns89 | GetMotivated | Ramblings of a discouraged student. | I'm in my second year of college, and since day one I've been having trouble motivating myself to do things like studying, writing papers, etc. Whenever I try to start something, I end up thinking, *why am I doing this?* Now, with most tasks, this question is easy to answer, as completion of the task usually has an obvious benefit (even it doesn't me, at least it benefits somebody). However, when the task is, for instance, writing a paper, my thought process is more like this:
*Why am I doing this?* Well, it's for a grade. *Why should I care about a grade?* Well, I need these credits to get a degree. *Why should I care about a degree?* Well, you need one to get a good job.
What the hell does that mean? A "good" job? I know there are people that really love their job, but I don't think I can be in that crowd. I've done a lot of thinking, consulted damn near every career counselor and aptitute test I can get my hands on, and I still can not think of even one job that I would really enjoy. That's not the end of the world, and I could just suck it up & take any old job to get by, but why, then, should I waste all this time (and money) on college? I'm sure a lot of you have had thoughts like this before. How did/do you deal with it? | I went to college because I was told it was the way to get the job I want, but I don't think there's any job I actually want. How can I stay motivated and get through school? |
t3_2xnr60 | relationships | I have no idea how to behave in a relationship please help me out (20M) | Hi reddit
I have been in relationships, but all of them have been really bad relationships. Obviously I was 50% of those bad relationships so I have realized my own actions must be playing a role in these relationships always being toxic. I don't really have anyone around me to look at to see how a relationship should be as my fathers and mothers relationship is toxic to put it mildly. I have been hurt a lot in the past and atm am going through a break-up, so I wanna make sure the next relationship I am in I know how to proceed. So I come to you reddit as my mentor for relationships please help me | No one to look to advice for a healthy relationship and have been in only toxic relationships. Please give advice to become a better person at relationships. |
t3_19d9jb | AskReddit | What steps should I take now if I want to live as self-sufficiently as possible in the future? | I'm a 20 year old Accounting major at a D1 University. I plan to find work straight out of school, pay off my loans as quickly as possible, and then begin saving as much money as possible.
I've always enjoyed an outdoor lifestyle but, after some recent vacations, I've decided I'd be happiest living as self-sufficiently as possible in a secluded area, "living off the land".
Obviously it will take a lot of time for this dream to come to full fruition, but what steps I can start to take now that'll get me that much closer to realizing it? I'm looking for any and all information on the subject, such as where the best place to pursue such a thing would be, what skills I should start developing that will help me, etc. | A 20 year old kid needs advice on how to "go-off-the-grid" at some point down the road |
t3_3bwzrd | relationships | [M24] need advice with argument with girlfriend [F23] | Well I've been dating this girl for 5 months and things have been going slow but well and I think we're both having a lot of fun.
This argument started as she has just gone away with her parents for a week so we planned to go out this weekend two weeks ago. I did see her as soon as she got back but it wasn't much.
I asked her about this weekend as she basically said she's not sure she can do it anymore as her friend wants to do something, I responded with a sarcasm filled text withy my annoyance that she's cancelling our plans to see her friend who she was seeing the day after anyway.
Since this text on Tuesday evening I haven't heard from her and we talk everyday. I think I've got a right to be annoyed but don't know what to do.
Before she went away she told me how much she likes me and all was going well.
Should I just leave it and wait till she answers? What if she is being as stubborn as me and we end up just not talking?
Any advice? Thanks | Annoyed as gf cancelled plans for weeks to see friend she was seeing next day anyway. |
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