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t3_4gcfyi | relationships | Me [49 M] with my girlfriend [42 F] 1y, am convinced she texted me a message meant for someone else | Got message from her at about 11:00 tonight telling me she just got out of the shower. I mentioned that I had tried to call her a couple of times. I then tell her I have to be up in 6 hours so I am going to bed.
I wait for a minute or two for her to tell me goodnight, and she responds with the two word name of a popular brewery/eatery in the area.
I repeated the name of the brewery with a question mark. She then responds with "Goodnight". I question her with three texts which she doesn't respond to for a couple of minutes, then she just says "what?" so I call her.
I tell her I think she meant the text for someone else, which she denied, so I suggested 3 different scenarios:
A: She fat-fingered a text to me which auto-corrected to the name of the brewery
B: She had her phone in her pocket and it randomly sent me a garbled text which auto-corrected to the name of the brewery
C: She was texting someone else at the same time and sent me this message by mistake
Unbelievably, she is going with Scenario B.
Thoughts? Are there any other possibilities that I am not considering? | Girlfriend sends me two word name of brewery instead of goodnight text. She blames it on an auto-corrected pocket text. |
t3_52dpgv | relationships | How do I [18F] cope with my boyfriend [18M] moving away? | As the title says, my boyfriend of nearly 2 1/2 years, Ethan, has just moved across the country yesterday to go to university. I have decided not to go to university so I'm staying back at home.
Usually, I see him for at least a couple of nights a week and we text/FaceTime quite a bit too so we are in contact a lot of the time. I know that we aren't going to talk as much and to go see him is quite expensive so we can't visit each other as often either and I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with that.
He knew I was upset when he left but I'm trying really hard to try and seem happy because I don't want to ruin his time there with my problems but it's becoming increasingly difficult.
I know it will probably become easier as time goes on and we both adjust to the changes but for now I just need help with how to cope.
Breaking up has crossed my mind but I honestly don't know. We have a really good relationship and I don't want to let that go but I'm wondering if it would be easier for the both of us.
Is there any way to make this easier for me? | my boyfriend of over 2 years has just moved away to go to university, how do I find it easier to cope with the change? |
t3_40t7ma | relationships | I [30F] have a regret from college that I can't get over [Personal Issues] | Throwaway for reasons (mainly, because I feel silly having this issue)
I have one regret in my life, it's not a huge thing, but it bothers me off and on. I went to a big state university and while I had a wonderful time, I feel like I could have made more connections to my school if I had joined a sorority. At the time I was on scholarship and working so I didn't have the money to spend on the dues (you could spend over $1000 a year, easily). Additionally, my family is not from this country (moved here when I was in high school) so I didn't know the "unwritten rules" of joining this type of organization.
I didn't pay much attention to it, but lately I've made friends with a group of girls who were all part of the sorority I would have joined and it's starting to get to me. I see how they have all these things in common and I kinda wish I was part of that circle too. Just to be clear, I'm happy with my life and how I'm accomplishing my dreams, but this is just something that's in the back of my head. Yes, I realize that it's totally ridiculous, but I can't help feeling that I would have more committed and lifelong friends now if I had taken advantage of being in a sorority in college. | didn't join a sorority in college and now I have regrets. How can I get over it? |
t3_3yhbo9 | college | Best majors with little math for the creative mind? | I'm currently a sophomore, and was raised with taking instrument lessons, art lessons, and played sports all my life. Every time I have to be creative I get a sort of rush, and put 100% effort into it, but because my parents are from mainland china they just want me to major in business and graduate so I can find a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle. Basically I'm saying screw it and I want to do something creative with myself. But my math skills have always suffered, no matter how many math classes I take. I currently attend the University of Tennessee and was looking into industrial design, but they don't offer it as a major, so I was wondering what you all think I should do. Once I get back from winter break I'm going to look into architecture and see how much math it requires and will see how that works out, but that's sort of a last resort for me. | title. |
t3_2s6okg | relationships | How do I [30M] fight the urges to call my ex [23F]? | [* | How do I [30M] fight the urges to call my ex [23F]? |
t3_34c5z4 | relationship_advice | How do I(23/f) deal with my own insecurities after an abusive relationship, while I start a new one with (24/m). | I dated a pretty mentally abusive person for about two years which ended fairly recently. After the relationship ended I started seeing someone I've been friends with prior, and he is amazing. He's supportive, sweet, communicative, understanding even of the baggage I have from my ex.
But I am nervous about EVERYTHING. More details, it's a LDR and he also has cancer (i know.) So we are in different time zones, which very often means we're not awake for a lot of catching up, I'm pretty needy and anxious and I'm used to a lot of reassurance, physical and verbal.
Everything is making me nervous, every other second of every day I basically feel like he doesn't like me anymore. I was always nervous and codependent, but I'm pretty scarred from my past relationship and I'm scared I'm going to ruin this one with my insecurities and worries. I don't know how to heal while I'm dating this new person, I communicate with him my worries at times, but I know if I unload it every time I feel it, it will be all we talk about and who would want to date someone who is anxious and miserable and insecure all of the time. I need help coping on my own, and feeling more secure. | My ex screwed me up and now I'm too insecure to trust that the new guy I'm dating is amazing. I don't know how to heal while I'm dating him. |
t3_1mgq9v | relationships | Should I (23f) just go dark or give this guy (23m) a chance? | I've been dating this guy long distance for a year. He's had depression issues and it caused a lot of drama in our relationship. I understand depression and I also understand that it varies for everyone, but I truly feel like he's either being a huge baby about all of this or is messing around with me.
I was away for the summer visiting family but still wanted to come see him and vice versa. I was supposed to come and see him in July. He put it on hold due to this not even a week before. I said that's fine, let me know when you want to see me. He said he will get better and see me. So, we fought a lot during this time period basically because I didn't understand how he was so depressed that I couldn't even see him for a weekend. He was adamant, tried "getting better" and wouldn't talk to me.
I blew it off and prepared to just end things. About 2 weeks ago, he messaged me saying how he knew I was going home and that he still wants to be together. Basically, he insisted that I go home, get settled, and then we'll try meeting up and rebuild a relationship. Commitment. All of that.
While I'm on the plane, which was only 2 days after this talk, I get an email saying he's still depressed and basically it's TBA. He wants to be together but doesn't know when.
I didn't reply. He didnt send anything more. Should I just not respond? I don't chase people. My friends assumed that he's seeing someone there maybe but I really don't think so. He has a hatred of dishonesty, I told him I would still be friends with him if he wanted that, would have literally no reason to string me along. What would you do? | He basically told me he still needed time after months of this and don't know how to react. |
t3_jjv50 | relationship_advice | Sister's BF is of questionable character she is upset that my opinion isn't a good one and won't let me meet him. | My sister has a boyfriend that has been in the picture for around 2 months.
His Facebook profile is typical of a frat-boy douchebag with lots of shots with hot women including lots of him making out with said women. He had one up as his profile pic of him with another girl for a few weeks after he and my sister got together.
He also had unprotected sex with a girl who has a verifiable history of going home on any given night with the first guy that buys her a drink. He proceeded to have unprotected sex with my sister after the fact but before he got tested for anything.
She got chlamydia from him and was only informed of this a month after they had sex when he started getting some symptoms but had not been tested prior to those showing up.
Not related to his character necessarily but he is a hipster.
He also has little to no ambition to do anything with his life as he has some money from his parents to live on. He did graduate from a legitimate college and is now getting Master's degrees from places like University of Phoenix, etc. As far as I am aware he got one MBA and is on his second MBA at the moment through a different school and wants to live a life as a perpetual student.
I have asked on multiple occasions to meet the guy so I can form an opinion on him not what she tells me about him/what I see of him online but she has not made any effort to this effect.
Am I wrong in this situation to think that he isn't appearing the be the most respectful person in the world to her? | Sister is dating a hipster who wants to be a lifelong student and gave her an STD while only being tested once he got symptoms. She won't let me meet him and gets upset that I don't have a high opinion of him. |
t3_1r6418 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] 4 months, Pregnant from another person | Well basically, I've been dating this girl for the past few months and what we have is great. We're together every day. Before me, she had a boyfriend but that was in June.
Heres what happens, she started noticing a bigger belly a week ago and went to the hospital and found out shes pregnant....6 months pregnant...from her last guy.
Both of us never noticed a big stomach and she legit found out last week. She isn't keeping the kid. It's gonna go up for adoption and the ex and her aren't contacting each other at all.
I care about her so much and I really do like her a lot. Should I stay or leave? I just need to hear someones advice because I cant tell my friends because its private. This shit is killing me. | girlfriend is pregnant from another dude before me |
t3_t2l6h | relationships | should I stay? | My bestfriend(21) and I(18) started a completely sexual relationship about 4 months ago, at the start i was okay with everything that was happening, i told him if he slept with someone else not to come back to me and he said if it happens it happens. So far i don't think it's happend.
But lately i feel like i really genuinely have feelings for him and i have no idea if he feels the same.
Few weeks ago we were pretty high and he just said "hey i like you" and I replied with "dont be an idiot" (I pretty much panicked and didnt know what to say) asked him the next day and he acted like he didn't remember the whole thing. He stays here everynight even though he doesn't have to..
I'm considering leaving him cause I don't know what he wants, I know I should talk to him but I dont want to hear him say that he doesn't like me | I don't think I can handle being hurt like this again and I really just want to know how he feels so I can sort myself out |
t3_4ctvoq | Parenting | Violin Practice vs the 9 year old female | In the wild of home and school the 9 year old female is intrusive, emotional, and wildly misunderstood by her parent figures who don't ever "get it". There are tears over peers and parents body language and the world appears hard to the 9 year old.
The 9 year old also attends violin instruction once a week with a private instructor. The instructor goes through the 30 minutes of instruction and teaches new techniques at every meeting. The 9 year old is informed of how much and of what they should practice.
The 9 year old as previously mentioned views the world as an unfair and unkind place to her people of 3rd grade. So the 9 year old appears to get one, that is right one, solid practice a week in.
Ok now that I have written that out in a non-frustrated tone, here is my dilemma-- She keeps progressing at an astonishing rate, I am very open with the teacher and so is she about her practice habits or lack there of. The teacher set a goal last week and she actually followed through and picked up violin 6/7 days which was huge and her normal growth was multiplied.
The teacher has said things repeatedly along the lines of "I can guide you to the moon but I can't take you there, you have to meet me halfway."
It is apparent in her lack of effort yet multitude of growth that she has a knack for it, like an actual gift, but how do I harness her love of it (She's only been playing for 2 months and in those 2 months she is nearly through the first book that the teacher plays out of) and it was her choice to play. She adores lessons and showing the teacher what she can do when she is there but at home there is no gumption to practice.
Her own personal goal is to be able to get into the children's orchestra here in town which is a definite possibility in a year or so but if she isn't practicing how will she adequately advance?!
Her teacher suggested printing out a 100 day practice log and we found a heart shaped puzzle log. So we are going to try that out but any other advice? | My 9 year old is doing violin and continuing to grow but lacks the follow-thru of practice/self-discipline what do I do? |
t3_318sub | relationships | Me [18M] "hanging out"? with my [20F] friend at her house | so like the tittle says i'm hanging out with a female friend at her house, the thing is, i'm not sure if shes interested in anything other than friendship. I was the one who set up the plans, but she seemed excited enough (from what i can tell) to accept them. I've noticed that she often "bumps into me" when were walking together among other small hints but nothing solid enough to come to a conclusion. She also asked ME if she should invite a third friend who we sometimes hang out with but i feel as though this might be a way for her to put the ball in my court, so to say. Anyways opinions and advice are appreciated. | She want the D? |
t3_39y4ty | relationships | Im [26 M] not sure about my 2 year relationship with my SO[30 F]. Help please. | So my SO and I have been together maybe slightly more than 2 years. She's funny and caring and we do like some of the same stuff. We haven't really had any major fights that I know of because we're both really easy going about most stuff. I love fishing hunting, being outaide, and she's typical girly girl stuff.
The only issue is the sex. We have sex maybe once a week or every two weeks. That is on me. She's got a much higher libido than me. And I've found myself making excuses to her about why we can't have sex because my physical attraction to her is pretty much gone. It's nothing she's done. She hasn't change but something in me has.
She's also talking about buying a house (we don't live together nor have any plans to move in together any time soon) and she's starting to want to settle down/get narried but that's not for me and she knows that. My career could take me across the country if necessary and she's pretty much told me she's staying where we are now because of her career.
I also feel really shitty because she's living on her own (no roommate or anything) for the first time so every so often ( a few months or so) she tells me she wishes her friends wouldn't blow plans off and that she's lonely and that we don't see each other enough. We spend the night together 2 or 3 nights a week as we're both full time workers.
But my issue is I can't see a future (marriage kids etc) with her but she is a great person and I care deeply for her but I'm just not physically attracted to her like I was early in the relationship.
I'm not miserable with her but I'm not happy. Due to my anxiety disorder and depression, I have a huge issue with being the one to dump someone. That and I'm absolutely terrified of change, like panic attacks terrified. So I'm also not sure if I should suck it up, settle down and deal with it or what. | not sure how to handle the future of my relationship when iim not physically attracted to my SO. |
t3_17oqf8 | relationships | Reddit... did I [24m] do something stupid concerning her [21f]? | I've been on and off with this girl for almost 3 years exactly. The catch: I've never met her in person. We used to talk all the time, and it's always been great. We have had our issues, but nothing too major.
It goes like this: we talk for awhile, essentially fall for one another, plan a trip for me to visit, then she gets cold feet and freaks out because she starts to feel overwhelmed, like the visit will plan her life or something, even though we agree that if something were to happen we'll take it slow. Then, we stop talking.
We're in the not talking stage right now.
I'd had enough. I chose myself over her for the first time and booked a flight. I'm tired of not knowing. I can't seem to move on, and I can't ignore her texts when she starts back up.
She's my kryptonite.
I'll only be there for a couple of days... I don't even know her work schedule or if she'll be available. I just made an impulse buy, and I think it was the right thing... but I need a little backup, or advice/comments. | booked a flight on impulse, kind of stunned/shocked. Was it a good idea? |
t3_3leep7 | relationships | I [18F] and my [18M] boyfriend are freshmen in college and are doing long distance while struggling with my parents. | Hi Reddit I really was not sure where else I could turn for advice. My boyfriend and I met in high school but unfortunately are going to different colleges. We are in a long distance relationship and are very committed to making it work. We are only an hour and fifty minutes apart but my parents do not want me to date my current boyfriend and instead want me to "date around." This is frustrating to me because I don't want to be with anyone else and he has done absolutely nothing wrong. But what is more frustrating still is that they have banned me from going to see him. They are not paying for my college tuition and they are not supporting me financially besides paying for car insurance and my phone. I have an education trust fund that was left to me by my grandfather that I intend on saving as I have a great scholarship to the school I am at so I am in no way financially dependent on my parents. I have never had a good relationship with my parents but lately my interactions with them have left me extremely upset and on the verge of tears. Obviously there is a problem here but I am lost as to what I should do. I want to respect my parents wishes but I don't feel like my feelings are being respected. Any input is much appreciated! | Banned from going to see my long distance boyfriend, not sure what I can or should do about my parents. |
t3_3na0tn | relationships | Me [28F] with my husband [27M] of 3 years. His dad [63m] is dying. How can I be supportive? | I'm 28, he's 27. We've been married 3 years but I've known him and his family for about 15 years, we have a good marriage.
My hubs wasn't super emotionally available when we first got together (friends for 15, together 5, married 3.) He's actually become much more communicative about his feelings throughout our relationship and now we express emotion openly. However he was not raised to be very open.
His dad was diagnosed with a form of dementia about a year and a half ago but they think it was coming on for the better part of a decade, he just hid it. He's progressed very rapidly from forgetfulness and stumbling sentences to basically a mental capacity of less than a toddler. Recently he became bedridden and is being seen by hospice. I don't want to get into the details but we know it won't be long.
Hubs and I live a few hours away so we drove over to visit earlier this week. We are going to try and make it down if he takes a bad turn but we can't be sure we'd make it before he passes so this visit was to make sure hubs was able to say goodbye. His dad is mentally gone, so these goodbyes are for the families benefit. We know he will pass soon, could be any day now.
My husband has been pretty quiet about this whole thing, I've asked gently but I don't want to push it. He never was especially close to his dad, but I think guilt over that might come into play. I've never dealt with the death of someone close to me and I'm really scared I won't do or say the right things. I really want to be a full support during this. I was wondering if I could get some advice from someone who has had a parent die, or who has helped someone through the death of someone close. What should I do? What should I not do? What helped? What didn't? Thank you in advance. | My husband's father is going to die soon from complications related to early onset dementia. I've never had someone close to me pass and husband hasn't been very communicative about how he feels through all of this. How can I support him? What are things I should avoid doing or saying? |
t3_3v7v27 | tifu | TIFU by not taking anti-anxiety medication | This happened ten minutes ago.
I am going to attempt to make this as short as possible.
Was walking my dog, no other people were at the park so I let my dog off leash. This man comes with his frenchie (my dog is a cattle dog aussie mix) and cattle dogs are very hyper. My dog runs up to his excited and I call him back where he heels. The man picks up his dog like it was the end of the world.
He made remarks about my dog being a "thing" and that I wasn't allowed to bring "things" like that to the park. My dog is like my baby and he is well trained. He can go by purly vocal or purly by hand cues (if I snap and point down he will sit without vocal command and if I keep my hands behind my back and say sit he would also sit) and he was just excited.
I got mad. I am supposed to be on anti-anxiety meds to counter act the Keppra I am on for my epilepsy that makes me very, very angry. I decided to toss the idea of a prescription to deal with it "naturally".
I asked the guy if he was going to stop bitching he continued. I called him an asshole and said look, my dog sniffed yours big fucking deal. He didn't hurt him he just wanted to play. I called him back thirty seconds after you flipped your fucking shit.
He continued. I continued.
I told him to fuck himself and that he was an asshole. He yelled "Nice language lady!" so I yelled on my way out "Yeah fuck you too."
I was already shaky and instead of just saying whatever my anger and anxiety blew it out of proportion. Very much.
Well at the end of the day what counts for something is that at least, unlike the other guy, I wasn't as fucking ugly as that frenchie.
Not that I have anything against frenchies. | Already anxious, bitched out a sixty year old man, feel a little remorse, am going to get my prescription for an anti anxiety next week. |
t3_2h0gc9 | running | What races, if any, do you enter during the training period for a 100 mile ultra, and how far out? | I'm posting this here because the most popular ultrarunning sub gets maybe a post a day, and I know we have plenty of ultrarunners in here.
I'm running my first 100 miler March 28-29 (hopefully only the 28th...), and for some reason it only occurred to me today I may or may not need to fill the coming months with a race or two to be used as training. So I am wondering what distances you would recommend racing (or simply completing) en route to the 100. **I've read that a 50mi can be a good idea two or so months out, but I would really like to know if 100 mile finishers have found 50 mile runs necessary in completing their race.** As an FYI, I've finished three 50 milers, the toughest and most recent was last November, 9k'+ ascent, 7k'+ descent. This 100 miler will be looped and flat. I'm about three months into training after taking most of the time between November and June off.
I know it doesn't necessarily have to be a race. Why pay $ when I can just go over to the forest and run 40 miles, but I would like to know what those with more experience have done during their training periods. | first 100 miler in 6+ months, what were your longest training runs, were they races, and at what point in your training did you do them? |
t3_2ud93o | Advice | My friend is getting more and more annoying lately. How do we save him? | In one of my circles of friends we have one mutual friend we'll call Jim. We all like him, he's a good guy, but recently he's been slipping more and more into the realm of "annoying person."
It's seems like he lacks self confidence to the point where he needs constant approval just to feel like he belongs, and he does this by copying/rewording other people's opinions, even if the person he is copying is in the same person he is talking to (which happens often).
He's also fond of rehashing jokes or latching onto other people's rather than creating his own.
He doesn't seem interesting in trying new things with us, and when conversation gets to be about things other than one of his few interests, he's likely to try and derail the conversation by talking about something he knows. This happens both in person and in our group skype message room.
Lastly he's let his appearance slide out of control. (No more haircuts or shaving or non-sweatpants, or nice shirts). Maybe it's because if he makes it clear he isn't trying to look good, then it doesn't matter that he doesn't, but I'm just guessing there.
Anyway the important bits: | Start here: I'm worried that telling him he's annoying might crush him emotionally, but right now our normal methods of telling each other they're annoying like not laughing or not showing interest in what they've just said doesn't seem to have any affect on him. My friends and I have talked about it and we aren't sure what to do. What do you think? |
t3_35pjbq | tifu | TIFU By being afraid of my own hair | This happened a few nights ago after a night of moderate drinking at a friends birthday party. Also using a throwaway, because I want to tell my brother this story in a week and he knows my reddit.
I met this girl at the party, and she was super nice and wayyy hot, and my friends kept pressuring me to talk to her. Anyway, I did, and we ended up back at her place. This was around 1 in the morning on a Saturday, and I was not in top mental condition by this time. We did our "get naked and fumble around in a bed" routine and slept. I woke up unexpectedly early the next day, her still sleeping next to me and the sun bright as it ever could be shining onto the bed. Here comes the fuck up, I lifted my head, and saw my long-ish hair casting a shadow onto the white pillow. I instantly saw those three or four strands of hair as a spider (did not have my glasses on) and jumped back. My elbow hit this girl right in the nose and she started screaming. I turned around and saw her nose bleeding and everything. Her screaming woke her two roommates who instantly kicked me out of the apartment. | thought my hair's shadow was a spider, decked a pretty girl in the face. |
t3_1ppmqd | running | Looking for some help with shoes, and I figured this sub would know a few things about proper footwear. I need to do a lot of walking and standing, and would like something really comfortable. | At work I walk about 4 miles a day on asphalt. And this month I am going on my honeymoon, we will be traveling to Disneyland and last time I went I averaged 13 miles a day in walking. My feet were killing me after the first couple of hours on the first day, and just continued to get worse. I ended up with black toe nail on my left big toe, I assume due to improperly fitting socks or shoes.
Here are my personal stats. I am male, 5'10", and weigh 135 pounds. My current shoes are Puma replicats, they pretty much have no sole, so I would guess that is part of my foot problems.
I am looking for a very comfortable shoe, that I can walk in for very long distances. I expect to walk about 40 miles over the 3 days on my honeymoon. And I walk 20-25 miles during my 5 day work week.
Any tips of suggestions would be greatly appreciated, I have never tried any insoles like Dr Scholl offers so maybe they would help. But bottom line I really want my honeymoon to be special and I am trying to avoid thinking about foot pain all day.
If this is not the right subreddit to ask about footware, please let me know where to post, and I will go elsewhere. And thank you to anyone that is reading this. | Going on a trip, doing lots of walking/standing on cement (13 miles a day 14 hour days). Need comfortable shoes to avoid as much foot pain as possible. |
t3_1izm7f | relationships | I [20F] am having trouble dating because I think that my ex [21M] was the one.... | I met my ex when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore in college. Our chemistry was instant and intense. I never really dated because I thought no guy was good enough for me. But meeting my now ex really convinced me that I could find someone.
So we dated for a very short period (2 months and long distance), but I was completely smitten with him. I have trouble showing emotion, so I waited for him to call/text me on Valentine's Day. But he never did, so I never bothered to text him again.
Since we had the same group of friends, I saw him at parties quite frequently. I would purposely flirt with other guys because I didn't know how to tell him that I missed him. One night, I was extremely drunk and called him to tell him that he was a douchebag (which was extremely uncalled for on my part).
It's been almost a year since I have last seen him, but I still can't get over him. I am having trouble dating because I compare the new guys to my ex, and honestly I think my ex is a lot better than all of them. He was smart, tall, handsome, and funny. I can't imagine meeting anyone else that is more perfect than him. Therefore I don't know what to do. | I think my ex was the one. Should I move on or call him and apologize? |
t3_2b10vt | relationships | I [20 F] am thinking about asking some guys out. However, at this point I am not the most attractive I can be, and have been unofficially demoted from a 8.5/10 to a 6/10. Should I wait until I am more attractive to show interest in guys? | Since a very young age, I have been dealing with depression and horrible self-esteem problems, causing me to be fairly inactive romantically and sexually, having only dated and slept with one guy.
My sophomore year of college, I became very active and started going to the gym every single day. At the risk of sounding vain, I think I am fairly attractive when I am consistently taking care of my health.
However, a few months ago I went through a major depressive episode, causing me to stop exercising, develop poor hygiene, eat a garbage diet, and of course, gain lots of weight. The guy I slept with said (while angry with me) that I was an 8.5/10 on the attractiveness scale when I was exercising regularly, but am now a 6/10.
I have nearly made a full recovery from my depressive episode, but I have not been able to lose the weight yet. I am interested in developing a romantic relationship and decided to ask some guys from my school out to increase my confidence and ability to handle rejection, and maybe even find someone worth dating.
However, I know a lot of guys are strongly turned off by overweight girls. Should I even bother trying to date until I lose the weight? | I want to ask guys out. I'm fat right now, but I look attractive when I work out regularly. Should I wait until I lose the weight before pursuing dates? |
t3_3m5foq | relationships | I [27 M/F] need help ending it with my GF [23 M/F] of 2 Years. | I'm going to try and keep this short. We've been together for just over two years. She moved in with me after about 4 months (Made sense at the time) and after the first half year we started having issues.
I know I want to end it - I just don't know how. I've never broken up with anyone before.
How do I handle this? We live together, we have a joint banking account, and her job is here. She would move back in with her mother, who is about 30 minutes away.
How do I handle the money thing? I make just over double the amount she makes. She never paid anything for the first year and a half, until we got a joint banking account. Should I just give her back her last two checks? How do I go about shutting it off? Do I tell her before hand? I feel like I should deactivate her card before. | Need to end it with my GF. She lives with me, we have a joint banking account, and she works here. She would have to move back in with her mom, which is about 30 minutes away. How do I do it? |
t3_11j4ok | Advice | A weird girl problem. | So before you say, "Another girl problem, just man up and ask her out." This is a very weird story. So my school's debate team was at a tournament and after we all debated we had some time to sit around. I was talking to this girl who's in one other class with me and we just sat and talked for about 30 mins and during that time I was messing with her because a couple of guys asked her to add them on facebook. I also learned that she had a boyfriend (bummer), but then after just talking she hard core questioned me and somehow got me to admit that I thought she was cute and I had a crush on her. That's not the weird part, the weird part was we sat on the bus and talked for an hour like nothing ever happened. I am never good at receiving girl's messages so please give me some advice. | I talked to a girl who got me to tell her I liked and her but she didn't act weird towards me. |
t3_d9bv5 | relationship_advice | I need to vent. Advice would be useful as well. | To begin with, I've posted a few stories about my gf (now xgf) and our issues. Today I just found out that she hooked up with my supposed "friend." Hooking up as in giving him a handjob along with making out. I guess. This is the same "friend" that hooked up with her before we were dating, but while we were getting to know each other. That time was oral. Anyways, I just need to vent because I am so pissed right now. My ex and I were talking, I was trying to show her the things I was doing to change the wrong things I used to do. We broke up last Saturday, and apparently my "friend" went to her house at 3 AM and then "it just happened." I understand that, I guess. I still think it's messed up, but what's worse is they did it again later on during that Sunday. I'm like WTF? Why is this happening? I don't deserve this. She says it just happened, it was a mistake, and she feels terrible about it. I hope she does too. When I confronted my "friend" a out it, his first words were "I knew her first." They work at the dame fastfood place, so they've known each other for a while. Then when I first met her, they both basically guilted me into letting them hook up. He said he felt like I just swooped in and took her, and that it was just physical for him. So I was like "whatever, no matter what I do they are going to hook up." I just don't get why they would both do this to me. I could use some help on figuring things out. How can I get past this? It really hurts because we were dating for seven months and within three hours they hooked up. I could use some kind words, and advice to get past this. | I've been dating this girl for seven months. We broke up last Saturday, and within 24 hours her and my "friend" hooked up twice. They also hooked up before we were dating, but while we were getting to know each other. Could use friendly words, and any advice to get past this. |
t3_2mqvms | relationship_advice | My mom [43?/f] wants me[19/m] to go back to visit relatives. I don't want to go. | In a few months, my entire family, including my parents, are planning to go take a 18 hour plane trip to see my relatives. I have issues with each one of them, and my last trip was not a good one. With my mom, I don't like her comments on everything I do. I have to walk without making much noise, speak softly and slowly, use more Chinese, don't complain, agree with everything my relatives want, and each time she asks me to correct myself, I either do what she says, or do it while feeling annoyed that I'm never good enough. With my relatives [46-65/f *3], they too want me to have a set of ways to do things. One wants me to eat very very slowly. My father [36/M] doesn't demand much, but always complains about various things, even things I like. With my relatives and my parents, I do my best to do everything they tell me. However, I cannot count the amount of times I felt the need to destroy, throw something, or yell at someone because of the things they said. I tried counseling, but due to time constraints, that only lasted two months. I tried self-help guides and friends, but all I've managed to do is avoid conversation with my mom and react with a monotone voice. I haven't done much with Reddit due to just staring and occasionally commenting, which I still find to be a bit dangerous. I haven't even talked about my younger sisters who are going with me. I know most of you will talk me to going because they're my relatives, I may never see them again and all that. I just don't want my relatives to see me and remember me as the one rotten apple in the family. (First post on the subreddit. Let me know if I did something wrong.) | My entire family is going to Asia to visit relatives, in eight months. I don't want to go because I have anger problems with both my family and relatives. |
t3_13s5u7 | AskReddit | My dad is the ultimate nice guy. Story inside. Who in your life amazes you with how nice they are? | My parents divorced about 2 years ago because my dad found out my mother was cheating on him. He overpays her in child support for my younger brother and constantly allows himself to be screwed over financially for the good of my brother.
Now onto the real story. My brother lives with my mom and her new husband (the one was the caught cheating with). My brother is in the process of getting his license and his insurance will need to be with the new husband. My brother thought it would be a good idea to get him a Christmas present to better his chances of getting on that car insurance. He is currently just a high school kid without much of an income. My dad actually bought a very nice sweater for my brother to give to his mother's New husband. | My dad bought a Christmas gift for my mother's new husband who she divorced him for after cheating on him with, in the name of my brother. |
t3_2r8az2 | offmychest | What has our society come to? | A few hours ago I was browsing my Facebook newsfeed, when suddenly, I came across a girl (let's call her Daisy) with a 'marry-me' sign. I thought to myself: "This could be interesting!", so I stopped scrolling. The text of the photo read: **"Only if this pic will get 1000 likes, my boyfriend will marry me. Please help me out."**
What. The. Fuck. I was shocked. This 20-something year old girl has a boyfriend and the want to get married. BUT ONLY IF THAT FREAKING PIC GETS 1000 LIKES?! (And yes, she was dead serious about this.) This was too much for me, so I thought I'd share it with my friends to get their opinions. Gladly they had the same opinion as I did. But what I didn't know was that Daisy and I had a mutual Facebook friend. This person starts to send my messages, saying I'm racist (Daisy's from Morocco) and I shouldn't be laughing with Daisy's wish. Again, I was shocked. What's racist about asking the opinion my friends of a picture? (She shared it on Facebook anyway, so she wants opinions.) I have no clue.
The mutual friend then starts to add friends to our little conversation, who were all pretty furious about me sharing the pic. They said I'm racist motherfucker scum who uses people and who deserves to die. On top of that, a few guys threatened to visit the school of a ladyfriend of mine and 'teach her the hard way' not to mess with Daisy. A few ladies couldn't help themselves and decided post a couple messages, telling lies about me and talking shit to my friends about me. My mind was BLOWN.
Is this what our generation has come to? Threating people for sharing a picture? Not getting married because the Facebook pic didn't get 1000 likes? | I share a pic of a girl, people want me dead. |
t3_wu67n | AskReddit | My former "boss" wants to file a theft charge against me. What will happen? | (Im located in Pennsylvania).Okay, so I got this job, and they gave me some materials to do the job. Turns out, I wasnt able to do the job because of time/scheduling conflicts. So they want the materials back. One of the guys called me and left a voicemail last friday while I was atanother job. I legitimately forgot to call him back (I wasnt ignoring him)
Another guy texts me tuesday, saying he needs his stuff back or hes going to file with the local court for theft of property. I texted him right back and told him when I could meet. So far, our schedules dont match up. He says he needs me to bring it to him 40 minutes away) by Monday. Except Ive had plans to go out of town for a bachelor party for months.
If he did file that "theft of property" charge, what kind of things could happen? I mean Im offering to meet close to my huse to return it, theyjust havet been very accomodating.
If theres a better subreddit to post this under, Please let me know | I havent been able to return job materials yet and the "boss" wants to file a theft charge. |
t3_v37h3 | AskReddit | Reddit, would you kindly help me with a stressful situation? | A few days ago my mother saw a picture of me and my boyfriend on Facebook. Now this sounds normal but I am gay and my mother didn't know this. My boyfriend posted it without thinking and it was too late, she saw it and called me to find out whats going on and basically forced me into coming out to her. Ever since then she has been calling me day and night about how wrong my life is and what I've brought upon her and our family. She is a very religious Muslim so that doesn't make things any better. And I can't seem to calm her down no matter how hard I try, I don't want to her to cry herself sick all the time over this. She says the only way is if I change and I keep telling her I can't, this is the way I am, I was born this way. I don't want to answer my phone (she lives in Europe and I live in the US, we moved there a long time ago from the US but that's another story) but I can't just not answer it because I care for her and it bothers me that shes doing this to herself. I really don't know what to do it's frustrating. | My mother found out I am gay and is having the typical reaction of a homophobe. |
t3_23rlle | dogs | Do I have enough time for a dog? | Growing up my family always had 2 black labs. We were definitely dog people and being an only child I grew very close to my "adopted brothers". Some of my best memories involve my dogs.
I have now graduated college and moved away from home for a job. I was not able to bring my dogs with me, because in reality they have always been my parents dogs, and I would never want to take them from their home where they are happy and used to being.
After not having any dogs now for about 10 months has really made me realize how much I miss having dogs around.
Currently my apartment does not allow pets but I am planning on moving somewhere else and I am trying to decide if I need to find a pet-friendly apartment or not.
I am an electrical engineer with a pretty constant schedule of 9-5 days. In my 10 months at my job I have not had to travel anywhere yet that has caused me to deviate from this schedule, so I think at this moment it is safe to say that travel shouldn't be an issue.
So basically my question is do I have enough time to devote to a dog? I feel bad that I would be leaving it at home alone for about 8 hours everyday. If I do move I don't plan on living far from work so coming home on my lunches will also be an option and would make the 8 hours of alone time turn into something more like 3.5+3.5 hours of alone time.
Is this enough time to dedicate to a dog? | I work a 9-5 job with the possibility of coming home on lunch. Does this leave me with enough time to dedicate to having a dog and being a GOOD owner? |
t3_2mhjy8 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex [20 F] broke up 6 months ago, and I still can't move on. | My ex and I date for almost 2 years, and then broke up right before our college went on summer break last year. The reason we broke up, in the simplest of terms, was that we had been fighting for random reasons constantly the past month, and she was scared that we would go on break and then break-up in a really ugly way. We were both still very much in love with each other, it just had become unhealthy.
Getting back to school was strange, since she lives in the house next to me. Once we saw each other we realized that there were still feelings, but she was reluctant and hesitant about the situation and wouldn't commit to anything and kept saying that it was a mistake and we needed more time (even though she would invite me over as well as sleep at my place) and that upset me. We weren't back together at this point, but what I did next was wrong nonetheless. I made out with a girl at a party that she was at and everything went to shit. Since then, she's "forgiven me, but can't forget it" and we tried being friends but it was too hard for me.
I have done all the cliched advice for moving on: seeing other people (two girls, both great, liked them but couldnt feel any real emotions for either), keeping busy, cutting off contact (even though I still see her as she is my neighbor). Its been 6 months. All I still think about is this girl. I know she loves me too but I just don't think we can go back to what we had healthily. How do I move on? Please no cliched advice. | been broken up with my ex for half a year and need advice for getting her out of my head |
t3_1t243t | relationships | Me [17 M/F] with my crush [17 M/F] for about a month, and a rather complicated situation | I need some help with girls
And honestly, I had no idea who to go to
So i am just going to explain my situation now
So there is this girl I like a LOT. Like I am totally head over heals for her. I met her on a school trip, and I totally thought we hit it off. I thought I was totally "in" in the beginning, but about halfway through the trip, she started hitting on this other guy hard, and on the last day she ended up doing some sexual things with him. (Ouch town my ego). When we got back, we started hanging out a lot (texting, snapchatting, watching movies, playing video games, a lot of things). Well basically, I told her how I felt and i'm 90% sure that I got rejected. (She claims she is emotionally confused right now).
Now this girl is definite best friend material, and I don't want to ... not be friends with her
because she honestly likes everything I like, but its so hard to see past the fact that I have hopelessly fell for her.
What would you recommend I do? I have no idea what the hell I should do. Do I just stay as a good friend? Or do I kinda just ease myself out of her life to save myself the pain/drama? | Got reject (I think) by a girl I really like, and want to stay friends with, but have no idea how to handle the situation now. |
t3_wnrxx | relationship_advice | Its extremely difficult to talk about my feelings, even with my girlfriend. | So Ive been in a relationship for almost 2.5 years and it is still very hard for me to talk about my feelings to anyone, including my girlfriend. The only person I can talk about my feelings with without even trying to force myself is my older cousin, she also has the same problem, only being able to talk about things with me. Anyways, I know I should be able to talk to my girlfriend about these things, and I would love nothing more than to be able to do so, but whenever we get in an argument and we try talking things out I cant manage to say anything. While this is going on I have everything Id like to say in my head, everything inside of me is screaming at me to say something, anything, but I cant, when I try to talk I cant really remember what to say because my thoughts are racing. On Saturday she told me that waiting for me to talk about my feelings is only getting harder for her, and I fear that if our relationship ends this would be why. I obviously dont want that to happen, I would hate for it to end because of this when I feel so hopeless, but it would still be my fault. Is there any way to make this easier? | Its hard for me to talk about my feelings, I fear this will be the reason me and my girlfriend would break up. |
t3_33uuqq | relationships | My girlfriend [19f] has gained weight and it's taking a toll. | I [20M] have been dating this girl for a couple years now and when we started out she was probably 5'4" 120 pounds and looked amazing. She is just about to complete her freshman year of college and instead of putting on a freshman 15 she put on a freshman 35 and isn't showing signs of slowing down. Having access to dining hall has brought up some self control issues with her. She eats desert before and after dinner and she doesn't make any use of the gym 100 yards away. The weight is really starting to impact my physical attraction to her and it makes it harder for me to throw her around the bedroom now that we're about the same weight.
Another problem is that it's taking a huge toll on her confidence and self esteem. She gets jealous when I'm around girls that are in better shape, which she never used to do before. She also lashes out at me since I've been working out and eating healthy and calls me manorexic (I'm 5'8" 155-160 lbs)
The biggest problem is that she has a history with anorexia so there's no good way to approach the subject. She's been healed for 5 years now so I feel like anything I say could trigger a relapse and that's the last thing I want. Is there a gentle way to try to get her to lose weight and improve our relationship? | my previously anorexic gf gained 35 pounds this year and I don't know how to approach her about it. |
t3_1bp2pm | relationship_advice | I[21/f] need help deciding if I should move in with my boyfriend (21/m), just for the summer. | My boyfriend has an internship in a small town in Indiana this summer and he wants me to move into his apartment with him. The town he will be living is about 4.5 hours away from my home and 3 hours away from his home. While living together sounds fun, I am not sure I want to. He said I wouldnt need to pay any bills only help with the food a little. But I would still want a job, and its going to be hard to get a job for the summer, when I currently live 4.5 hours away. I am basically guaranteed a job in my hometown. We basically live together now but have classes, jobs, and friends and family around here, there we wont know anyone but each other and those we meet at work. I am worried living together may be too much time together. But I also feel bad thinking about him living alone all summer, and I usually get pretty bored during the summers. I need some outside advice/experience. | BF wants me to move with him to a small town far away for the summer. I'm nervous thinking about what spending so much time with only each other might do to us |
t3_35g9c6 | legaladvice | Neighbor threatened to tag my car, not sure what to do [California] | Hey /r/legaladvice, I really need some advice.
Today, as I was entering the parking garage of my apartment, I was a few yards from coming into contact with another car. I always check the driveway traffic mirrors for oncoming traffic, but didn't see anything, so I was going a bit fast (about 10 mph). To be fair, the driver was driving in the middle of the driveway and his lights weren't on, but I thought his honk at me would've been enough. Instead, after I parked in my parking spot, it turned out that my neighbor had gotten out of his car to yell at me. He was being very aggressive, so I accidentally let my anger get the best of me and engaged in a brief shouting match. Then as he was leaving, he threatened that he was going to tag my car later.
I can't tell if he was being serious or not, but I'm so nervous that he might do something to my car (I just paid to have my car painted literally last week) that I'm parking my car offsite for the time being. Yes, I know it was stupid of me to argue with him, but it happened, and now I'm afraid that he might do something if I keep parking in my assigned parking spot.
Just in case my neighbor actually intends to follow through with his threat, what are my options? Thanks for your time. | Neighbor threatened to tag my car, and he knows where my assigned parking spot is. What should I do? |
t3_32li3r | relationships | [22 M] Want to invite religious gf [19 F] to spend the night. | So me and this girl have been dating a while (almost 2 months)
However, she's never stayed the night before because:
a) the only evening she is free is Saturday, and it's straight after work so she usually doesn't want to meet up.
b) when we started the relationship, she immediately mentioned she's religious, so i'm assuming she would be wary about spending the night with me, in case I practiced some sex-before-marriage moves.
Now I want her to stay the night...maybe not for sex (as I see this unlikely with her), but just for some private affection, but I don't know of a legitimate reason for her to come over.
So what do I do reddit? | Want a convincing reason for a religious girl to stay the night. |
t3_3tki3w | tifu | TIFU by casually asking for nudes | As usual, this didn't happen today it happened a few months ago.
During my junior year I was in English class writing my final essay. We were given an entire work period to finish it and hand it in by the end of class. While I was writing, this girl started passing notes to me since we weren't allowed to talk (we had a supply teacher and she was kind of a bitch). After a few exchanges I got the idea to make a harmless joke. So on the corner of the paper I wrote "Send nudes" and gave it back to her. She opened it and began to laugh. She was doodling on her desk at the time and it pissed the supply teacher off. The supply teacher called the principal and they confiscated the desk. They also found the note we were passing in the desk and called her down to the office. She didn't rat me out (bless her) so she got detention for vandalism and the inappropriate nude passing.
I saw her in the hallway (with her boyfriend) later that day and she was slightly mad at me. I feel awful for letting her take the blame when it was clearly my fault.
On the bright side her boyfriend gave me a high five for asking for nudes (he's a pretty awesome dude) | asked a girl for nudes as a joke via note passing, the principal found the note and she took the blame. |
t3_42sk01 | tifu | TIFU by mistaking Kindle Unlimited for a real book buffet | So apparently amazon is giving out free 30-day trials to kindle owners, where you can download books for free. I took it up immediately, why not? Being the greedy pig I was, I went on a massive romp downloading all manners of books I could find.
The catch:**you can only download books within their kindle unlimited selection**
It was only after reaching my creditcard limit,and after racking up tons of books, before I thought that something was wrong. I proceeded to check my orders and to my dismay.... you guess it.
Apparently you can't cancel your digital book downloads, because it is easy to copy the book onto your CPU and cancel the order. Guess I won't have to buy books for a few decades now. | Thought amazon was so nice to give away so much books and stupidly brought everything I could see, reaching my card limit. |
t3_1kmpv7 | relationships | Anyone else have trouble dealing with the realization that their ex might not have been a good person? | So I've put a couple other posts up about my recent relationship ending end and how I know on some level that I deserve better but I was talking to a friend a couple nights ago and it made me even more bummed out because it kind of confirmed that some of doubts about my ex were actually justified.
One of my biggest gut feelings about him was that I couldn't trust him, if we were apart I was always afraid he would get too drunk and either hurt himself or flirt (or worse) with some random girl. He was probably one of the less thoughtful people I've ever met but I digress. I was talking to my friend (who I met because she was one of my ex's friend's girlfriends) and she was saying how her boyfriend would complain about how my ex would act when I wasn't around because he'd be inappropriate in his actions and comments towards her, she also felt uncomfortable about it but the fact that his friend was too really sucks.
It hit me really hard, I wanted to believe that my fears and worries about him weren't true, that I didn't actually spend a year and a half of my life dating some a**hole who didn't actually care about me or my feelings on a deeper level but hearing her say that made it all real. I guess on the one hand it's good to hear because it kind of shatters the mask I willingly gave him of being an actually decent person but it sucks because now I know my gut feelings were right. He wasn't trustworthy and I feel kind of like an idiot for choosing to be blind to the reality of it. I feel stupid and angry and I was wondering if anyone else has experience with dealing with a reality check like this. Any tips for not feeling like a total sucker? | Found something out about my ex that confirmed my negative suspicions about him. I feel like an idiot and I'm mad. Any one else have to deal with something like this? |
t3_qttkb | AskReddit | Reddit, what do you hate most about yourself? | As the title says...what do you hate about yourself the most?
I have wanted to be an Air Force pilot my entire life, now that I'm midway through highschool, I have begun looking at how I can achieve that goal. I had everything worked out. Today I had an optometrist appointment, and at the end I saw they had the Ishihara (Circle with the dots inside that make up a number) color blind test available, I decided to take it...and failed. This was a major shock to me as I have passed the FALANT colorblind test before (For a Class III medical for my Private Pilot's Liscense). I just can't stop thinking that because of this stupid regulation that they only accept one colorblind test I will never be able to fulfill my ultimate dream.
On the plus side, I can fly Navy and commercial since I can pass the FALANT. | Colorblind, can't fly for the Air Force. |
t3_4bhdc0 | relationships | Me(19M) has unresolved issues with ex(19F) and not sure what to do about it | For some backstory, me and my ex dated for close to 2 years and 9 months and overall we had a good relationship except for some things. First off, she did cheat on me and I know that's a major red flag but we put it behind us.
We broke up in September and we hadn't really talked much for 5 months. We tried to remain friends because we had played such a major role in each other's lives and she's honestly my best friend. At first, it was kinda awkward because I still had feelings for her, but as time went by it got a bit easier.
Things were going fine until we decided to meet up to talk one night because we were both fighting over really stupid things that we needed to talk about. And we ended up making out and having sex. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a thing with another girl so we both told them.
Now, me and the girl I'm with are okay after I talked about it and gave her some time, but now my ex and I are no longer friends. Honestly, it really sucks because I know part of our relationship was rocky but she's literally the only person I feel I can come to with anything or talk to when I need to.
I really like the new girl I'm with, but I don't know what to do because obviously she hates my ex and I feel like my ex and I have a lot of unresolved issues I need to work out. This whole situation sucks because some of my friends literally won't talk to me again if I got back with my ex, but I don't know if deep down that is what I want or if I'd be content with just a friendship.
I love her so much and I know she didn't treat me how I deserved to be treated(towards the end of the relationship), but lately I just find myself dreaming about her and missing her being around. I have no idea what I should do, and I'm open to any advice. Thanks guys/girls. | I feel like me and my ex have conflicts we need to resolve but we aren't friends anymore and I don't have a way of approaching it. |
t3_28s0m6 | cats | Ask /r/Cats: Is my cat abnormal for a few odd behaviors? | I have a cute tuxedo rescue cat.
[This is her taking a selfie.](
[This is her taking a stroll.](
Basically, I noticed some odd behaviors that differ from what most cat blogs / reliable sites advise to expect:
* **She's totally unfazed by catnip.** I try pinching some, placing on a scratch post, even just holding it under her nose. She kind of just sniffs then leaves.
* **She's not jealous.** I can go scratch and pet my local bodega's cat all day. That cat is fascinated by my cat's smell, but when I return home moments later and Panda sniffs my hand, she just doesn't care.
* **She won't eat unless I watch her.** I often wakeup to familiar face smacks from pink paws. It's her. I get down from bed and put some food out for her then run to the restroom. She starts crying immediately while I'm in the can, when I return she confirms I still exist. Then and only then she resumes eating.
* **She ignores scratching posts.** See catnip thing, she doesn't care. She just completely doesn't care.
* **She sleeps like a guest** She'll literally snuggle up next to me and let me be the 'big spoon'. By let me, I mean force me. I throw her out of bed then I wake up and her head is on the pillow with her back to me and she's just totally snuggled up. It's cute but is it normal?
* **She understands light switches** This is weird, but she has learned how to turn on the light in my bedroom. I presume it's to wake me for a food delivery.
* **Mirrors don't matter** She ignores mirrors, doesn't look at them. I tried to do a self-identification test (she's 8 months) and she just stared at her reflection and mine, but gave no reaction. | Basically I can't discern if some of the above are normal. Some make me think she's brilliant, others make me think she's dumb. Does anyone have cats with similar behavior or anything anecdotal that can validate these behaviors? |
t3_y0ibf | relationships | We're both into the idea of a threesome, but not 100% sure. [30m][29f] | We've been together for 5 years. We have a son together. We watch porn together. In the moment of sex, we both get excited about talking about another woman. An ex-gf of mine constantly sends naked pictures to my girlfriend's cell phone, thinking it is mine. We discussed a threesome, and we both think we want it, but not 100% sure.
First off, I would not have a threesome with another man, she has never suggested it, and she says it is not something she wants. She says she wants to have a threesome with this girl because it seems exciting, and to make me happy. I am happy in our relationship, and I really love her. However, the idea of having a threesome with the two of them does seem a bit exciting to me. Still, I am worried our relationship may never be the same, or that I will look at her differently. I don't think I would look at her differently, but that may not be the case after everything is said and done. I want to have a normal life with her (the type where I mow our lawn in the suburbs), and I worry that things will be weird afterwards. She's worried I will always want to do it, or that I will think about other women while having sex with her. I'm worried that I will feel like we are not good parents and that we have deceived our son.
My ex-girlfriend is completely into the idea. We both are, but we have concerns. I'd love input from others who have done this. Is there a subreddit for people who do this or are thinking about it? I'd also love input from those who have never done it. Please, if your input is based on your religion, do let me know. | Thinking about having a threesome but not sure about the possible consequences. |
t3_3wc7uw | tifu | TIFU by not telling a police man I saw the guy they were chasing hiding under a car... | Had to call the police as my gf went missing, while they were here a man came running up the street and hid underneath a car, a police van followed a few seconds after. I didn't point as I was stood outside the house, but did make a point of staring at the car he was hiding under. The van kept driving and turned a corner... A few seconds after the police man in my house came out and saw the guy crawl from under the car, he asked if he was okay and the man said 'I'm fine, I was just getting chased by someone' then proceeded to run off... After it was revealed he was actually running from the police, the [very tired] police man was obviously a bit [blagged?] by it all, but kept a friendly face and asked me if I knew the guy.. I didn't at all and explained that I didn't wanna point because I was stood outside my house... They eventually left and there was abit of a conflicted vibe in the air as they were leaving.. They were cool about it, but I can't help but a feel a bit mean for not pointing the guy out, but I'm more of passive guy to things like this as a rule, I'm pretty sure the guy just ran when he saw the police, but I still feel like I might have f'd up a bit... The police man was clearly very tired, but he did seem gutted when he realised he let the guy just run away >_<, felt bad guy for the guy | didn't help the police catch a guy they were chasing while they were at my house helping me find my gf... |
t3_26wk81 | dogs | MORONS: A Rant | I live in a residential neighborhood with a fair amount of traffic ie,buses, trucks,vans. I've often seen a little Chihuahua running along the street by himself. By now I know where he lives having escorted him back to the same house several times. The old man who lives there never seems particularly concerned that the dog is roaming the streets.Today a woman opened the door and when I told her that her dog got out, she said " that's okay. he can do that". So it seems these clowns let their dog out to run the neighborhood ratherthan walking him. I would report them to ACC but the dog seems otherwise well groomed and well nourished. Any advice? | lazy people let their dog run loose on purpose |
t3_eo1b2 | books | Can anyone suggest a good book on "Dream Interpretation"? | It's the only thing my mom has requested for Christmas. She's been having some odd reoccurring dreams lately and, after offering my own lose interpretations and suggestions that it "might" (definitely does) have something to do with her stress levels (she works harder than any human I've ever met and sacrifices more than anyone should or even want to) she insists she'd like a book on dream interpretation (if possible, one written from a "Christian" perspective, but it's not required).
I explained that my cursory understanding of popular dream analysis came from what little I know of Freud and my perceived understanding of his penchant for drawing everything back to doinkin' and that she may not like what she reads, but she's determined to get a book on it none the less, even if it's not exactly conducive to Christian beliefs.
Anyway, I am at a complete loss on what book would work best considering her preferences and considering who I think most of the dream books are written by (to me, every one of the more common ones might have well as been written by "Miss Cleo").
Anyway, anyone have any good suggestions? Anyone have a favorite dream book? | My mom wants a dream interpretation book for Christmas, she's a Christian and would like the book to reflect this (but it's NOT necessary) and I don't know where to start. Help? :D |
t3_4qheu1 | relationships | Me [20F] with my BF [20M] almost 2 years, is his behavior normal and is mine? | Hi. My boyfriend is studying abroad in Japan. Before he left he was a really sweet and attentive boyfriend, always sending me messages like "I love you" and stuff like that. Always responding nicely to me. He said stuff like when he goes to Japan he will buy me presents and he can't wait to live in our new dorms right next to each other next year. His behaviors were never ever sketchy or seemed like he didn't like me.
Then he goes to Japan. It was a really rough transition for me because I went from talking to him every day to about 5-15 messages a day. Transitions are especially hard for me because I have Asperger's. I realized I was monopolizing his time a few days ago and I've cut back my communication because he told me he's too busy to talk and I just send messages like "Good morning" and "good night" and "i love you" instead of in depth convos.
He keeps responding less and less nicely and never sending me anything sweet anymore. He went to Japan with me in his profile pic on LINE (messaging app), and then he changed the pic to one of just him. Today he added over 8 new Japanese friends and removed me as "in a relationship" on his public profile on Facebook. While i was talking to him. I just texted him about it asking why he did this but he didn't respond yet, i'm sure he's going to get mad at me for bringing it up though.
Is this behavior sketchy? Am I "crazy" for being upset over it? I love him and i want him to have a good time but I just feel so lonely over here and I'm not sure why he is doing this. I also asked if we can video call every day and he said "tbh i never have time." I guess it would be overbearing to ask him to make time for me? IDK. Please help me. | BF in Japan, acting weird maybe, maybe all study abroad people do this? IDK. Please help me |
t3_3g7r9s | personalfinance | Job offer rescinded after attempting to negotiate. What happened? | I worked for a division in a large multinational in the oil & gas space from April 2014 until May 2015 when I was laid off due to market conditions. I started working for my current employer in June, but was unhappy and so I continued to look. I found that there was an opening at another division of the original conglomerate and i interviewed for it this week.
I received a verbal and written offer today for the position at 1pm for $62k and 2 weeks vacation. By 2:30pm I replied negotiating for $65K and 3 weeks vacation. At 4:30pm I received a call from the HR contact who extended the offer. We discussed the terms I asked for and she said she would get back to me next week. At 5pm I went ahead and submitted my two week notice at my current position.
At 5:45pm I received an email from the HR contact rescinding the offer. WTF happened? | Laid off, Started working, interviewed and received offer from different division of original company, put in two weeks notice, offer rescinded after negotiating for 5% more. |
t3_ynxnw | AskReddit | Okay Reddit, it's time to see if I'm the only one out there who this happens to. | So basically as long as I can remember this weird thing has happened to me. This is going to sound strange to a lot of you, but it will be really cool if there is at least one other person who this happens to. So sometimes whenever I witness someone doing something that is very repetitive and meticulous, and I watch them do it for a period of time, I get this weird tingling feeling in my head that slowly kind of radiates through my skull. For example, one time when I was a little kid, I was at church and I was watching this kid slowly set up chairs, and he was slowly going back and forth to check his work and to make sure that they were perfect over and over again, and that caused it to happen. Weird right? Like I can't explain it. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know why it happens. And I have nothing medically wrong with me at all. This is very very strange and it has happened all my life. Does this EVER happen to anyone? Or am I totally alone? | Sometimes when I watch someone do something repetitive I get this weird tingling feeling in my head that I can't explain. |
t3_y30tl | AskReddit | Service industry pros- what's the best way to make some new friends? | Hello, Reddit! I'm 26 years old, female, unmarried, no kids, and I work about 60 hours a week as a restaurant manager. I make a really good salary and I love my job. My problem is that there's no one else I can relate to. I get out of work anywhere between 11 pm and 2am, and I always wish that i had a group of friends I could call to hang out with. I do have some friends, but they all work 9-5/monday to friday jobs. Since I have to keep vampire hours and my days off are during the week, I rarely see them. When I do finally hang out with these friends, I feel like we don't have much in common. I want to make some new friends, but I just don't know where to start. I can't hang out with my employees, and there are only 2 other people that share management with me. They are both married with children, and not interested in socializing. I am open to suggestions! | I'm a 26 year old restaurant manager that needs some friends! |
t3_qkpon | relationships | No sexual interest in my girlfriend anymore. What should I do? | I'm a guy, 21, and she's 20.
I've been dating this girl for eight months now. We've had insane sex in every single imaginable position, style or way during those eight months, up to ten times a day.
I really like this girl. We had an argument a little while ago, and almost broke up, which left me pretty far from indifferent. I don't want to end this relationship, *but...*
The sex has become painfully boring to me. I used to enjoy it quite a lot, I very much looked forward to it, but now, it's become a routine I don't particularly enjoy. I find myself rather playing video games than having sex, which is very, very weird to me, as I'm the type of guy that would travel 50 miles for fifteen minutes of hoo-hah anytime. This is my first long relationship, and I'm unsure whether something like this is even normal - she literally needs to be laying on top of me, naked, for me to even get aroused. I used to pop boners just by looking at her.
I don't want to break up with her, but sex plays an important role in my life - hell, I'm only 21.
I've been struggling with deep depression and anxiety lately, am on anti-depressants, and although this might be the cause of my lack of interest - but I honestly think that I've just overdid it with this girl, and killed the spark by turning my wildest perversions into something so everyday and common.
So, a question for you, r/relationships, what should I do to bring that old spice back? Any ideas, tips, suggestions? I don't want to pursue another relationship, nor do I want to risk this girl by cheating on her (although that would definitely solve the sex issue). | My girlfriend doesn't attract me sexually anymore, but I really, really like being with her. What can I do to bring the old spice back? |
t3_tcdbm | AskReddit | Bit of a moral dilemma: Wounded rabbit, do I let it die, put it out of its misery, or feed it and see what happens? | So I was coming back from the grocery store and saw what looked like roadkill. I did the usual, that sucks, until I saw it moving. I carefully avoided it, and thought I should turn around and put it out of its misery, if it was suffering. (Not a busy road)
I stopped my car and saw it was a rabbit, trying to drag itself off of the road. There was a scrape on its hindquaters, and its legs were not moving. From the looks, they didn't appear crushed or broken, so I gently picked it up and carried it to the side of the road and put it under a bush. It didn't make any noise, so it was either in shock, or not that harmed.
I plan to check on it tomorrow, and see if it's still alive. I don't want to kill the thing if it can recover, but I'd rather it not starve to death. I'd rather it enter the food chain on its own, but this isn't a rural area and I'm not sure if anything will find it to facilitate that. | Found wounded rabbit on road. Should I do anything about it? |
t3_17wyfj | relationships | [25m] getting pretty serious with a girl [22f], but have reservations because we had drunken sex the first night we met. | I had my eye on her most of the night. We were both really drunk. I approached her, we talked, danced a little bit, yadda yadda; ended up at her place and had sex.
We have been seeing each other for about a month and a half and things are getting pretty serious between us. I don't mean to judge, and I know a double standard is at play here, but I'm just wondering if the way we met should be a deal breaker. If anyone has any insight on this sort of thing I would appreciate it.
So, should the fact that I was able to take her home from a bar, on the first night we met, for sex, be a reason to avoid a relationship? | Took a girl home from the bar and had sex on the first night. Should that be a reason to avoid a relationship with her? |
t3_3ooc33 | running | Tonight was supposed to be my long and slow night... | I was planning to do about 5-6 miles or ~1hr. Well, I started late due to being hung up at work. As I finished my first lap, I noticed a cat in the dark running away from the track. No worries, just a cat. The next lap, 1 mile in and I see the cat again, except this time, it stays closer to the track. Oh wait, it's not a cat, it's Fox.
Next lap, 1.5 mile the Fox stays closer to the track again. Except now there are two. Hmm.. Okay... Next lap, as I come to the point where the fox normally runs off, this time it stays. Both just stand there and stare at me.
At this point I decide to sprint back to my truck ~.25 mile and call it a day. | played chicken with a cat on my run, cat was a fox, 1 fox is 2 fox, fox won lap 4.. I went home |
t3_vc0jt | AskReddit | I'm a 26 year old immigrant that's been in Canada for 21 years, applying for citizenship this week. Canadian redditors what do i need to know? | in short we were poor when i was younger and couldn't afford to spend money at our consolate in Vancouver to replace certain paperwork. This week i found out that the citizenship doesn't require the paperwork i'm missing so i am applying.
On the one page it says i nees to know the branches of government, History of Canada, geography of the country and duties as a canadian citizen...
here's my issue, while i can research everything else the duties i can't seem to find. So i thought i'd ask you guys to give me a hand...if you get below a certain percentage on the test you're refused to become a citizen and have to start the process again. The current waiting time is 19 months i believe you have to wait a full year before trying again. | i'm an immigrant have been for 21 years in canada. Need help with rights of a citizen to pass my test |
t3_2xu9oy | relationships | My friend [19 F] from university keeps flirting with me [18 M] but has said she doesn't want to date | I started university at the end of September, and met a girl who became my friend. For a while now, she has been showing signs of interest, flirting etc. but I never did anything (despite me liking her) because I felt that it would become too complicated with us both being friends and on the same course.
She started dating this other guy in the department, but broke it off after about a month (about the end of January). A few weeks ago, she told me and our other friend [18 M] that she wouldn't date in the department again, just because she didn't want another situation like what happened with the previous boyfriend. Despite this, she has continued being 'playful' with me, and I am not sure how to go forward with this.
I don't want to jeopardise our friendship, but at the same time I want to know what the deal is between us. How do I approach the subject with her when I am not really 100% that she is actually interested (rather than that just being her usual manner, I have previously mistaken over-friendliness with flirting :p). | Friend from university has continued to flirt with me despite saying she doesn't want a relationship within the department. How do I go about asking her? |
t3_1jiqoi | loseit | 18 pounds down, 300ish to go, finally making changes. Hi, all; I'm gonna do this! | Couldn't find the weekly new member thread, even after search. Apologies, but I'd like to hold myself accountable and trade stories, tips and such. Also, not die. | Half-ton guy leaving toxic lifestyle to focus on health and family. Eating better, working out, but still a long hard climb ahead of me. Hiya. |
t3_3sy6yj | relationships | I'm [21/F] not attracted to my boyfriend [25/M] | Hi, using a throwaway for this one.
So, I feel terrible for even writing this, but let's start from the beginning, will try to keep it short.
I met my now boyfriend about 6 months ago through our mutual friends while playing one of the many multiplayer games. After some time we hit it off and started to talk more and more. I only saw one of his pictures, which was pretty old, from years ago, and he looked pretty good in it. Anyway, after a few weeks of 24/7 chatting and skyping we decided to meet (although we live like 12h drive away..) and when we did.. well, he doesn't look much like the picture I saw back then. He's not exactly ugly, but I just don't feel attracted to him. There's no spark. There are no butterflies. I've had a few boyfriends already and I KNOW how it feels to be attracted to someone - this need to touch them all the time, to see them everyday.. And now, I REALLY love this guy and I can't imagine my life without him, we talk, we play, we laugh everyday, but I just don't feel an urge to see him. We haven't seen each other for about 2 months now (as I mentioned, we're long-distance) and for me it's completely okay. But I know it can't stay like this forever. I'm so confused. I feel an amazing connection with him, but at the same time I don't have any physical attraction towards him.
Have any of you been in such a situation before? What did you do? Please don't see me as a bad person for not telling him what I really feel. I'm just so lost. I don't wanna lose him and don't see him as a guy I wanna spend rest of my life with at the same time. | I have a boyfriend, whom I love very much and we have an amazing connection, but I don't feel physically attracted to him and have no idea on what to do now. |
t3_dhs5p | AskReddit | I'm about to be shipped off if I don't find a job in 7 days. Help? | I moved cross country to Escondido, CA two months ago to be with my boyfriend but our living situation is strained because I have yet to find a job, despite me looking everywhere, and my boyfriend only has one part time job and he's having trouble finding work too. His mom lives with us and is going to retire Oct. 15th, so my boyfriend is going to have to take care of her. If I can't find a job fast, I will get sent back and get separated from my love. I've been crying all day...I don't know what more I can do. I'm willing to take any job at this point.
I think my weak point is my work experience. I've only worked at a Burger King this year for 3 months until I moved. I did cashiering, cooking and cleaning. I worked at a Wal-Mart for 3 months back in 2007 but was laid off. I was also a cashier there and a sales associate - in which I assisted customers, restocking shelves. I can't even remember my Wal Mart supervisor's name. In my senior year of high school (2004-2005) I was a volunteer library assistant. I was a cashier there, I also shelved books, did some filing, and made appointments for teachers and students to do research and projects in the library. | I need to find a job within a week or I'll be forced to move away from my boyfriend. |
t3_41iy0t | relationships | Me [22M] with my friend's roommate [22M] abusing my Xbox game-share | My friend (we'll call him Chris) is currently unemployed and, unlike the rest of our group, cannot afford the latest Xbox games and was left playing on his own. Around five months ago, I decided to game-share with him in order for him to be able to join us online; for those that aren't familiar with this, game-sharing is where you download your account onto another Xbox and set it as your home console enabling the other person to download and play any game you would buy on your account.
I had absolutely no problem with Chris playing my games or even paying the higher price for digital games because he would be able to join us and we'd also have a fourth player available if we ever needed it, everybody wins.
The problem is that his roommate, Craig, lost his job last month and has begun playing my games on Chris' console without asking me. I don't particularly like his roommate but I let it slide to begin with because he lost his job, however now he is playing the games more than Chris which started to bother me, especially seeing as how he has his own console and games to play. When I called him out on this he responded with, "Well, if you didn't want me playing your games you shouldn't have game-shared."
This comment really pissed me off because I would have been fine with him playing my games if he'd asked me (sure I don't like the guy but I'm not a jerk) but the fact that he said this makes it seem as though he's entitled to play my games. I want to stop the game-share now but if I do then my friend won't be able to play with us and if I call his roommate out on this then Chris might be forced to take his side because he lives with him. | Friend's roommate started playing my games without asking me and want him to stop, what should I do? |
t3_2oe1ck | personalfinance | How to protect my mom financially when father is needing long-term medical care that may not be covered? | My father, a closet alcoholic who hid the worst of his condition from us for many years, has recently been hospitalized for severe health issues stemming from his alcoholism. He was recently released from the ICU and send to a "transitional care facility," but is still not doing well. The doctors are saying that even if he starts to recover, he will likely need to go to a nursing home.
My mother has been looking through the medical policies (which I believe includes a "critical care" policy), and unfortunately, it appears that long-term care for issues relating to alcoholism are not covered. My parents are average middle class, with my father the real only income earner in the family- certainly not able to afford out of pocket expenses that will result from such a stay.
Assuming that my father will never fully recover, or is likely to pass away soon, what are the options for financially protecting my mother from financial ruin after this is all said and done? She is terrified of losing everything because of inability to pay the bills. Any advice appreciated. | father is dying of alcoholism, insurance may not pay, want to protect mom financially |
t3_2ufjg9 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ? [18 F] a few weeks fooling around; I think we have different plans for the relationship, and I think shes fragile right now and I don't want to hurt her. | Keeping it as short as I can.
I wanted a one night stand with a chick, stuff got in the way so I didn't get her home with me, she seemed pretty down for it though.
So I kept trying, and stuff kept getting in the way, so we hung out a lot and never got there.
Then on our 4th time meeting it finally goes ok, she comes home, try to have sex but she stops me, figure it's the bad day shes had, lay spooning and talking all night, try again in the morning when shes sober and happy again, denied again, she says it's "going to ruin everything" and doesn't want to say what that means. We just lay chilling some more. drive her home later.
Meet up again next week, get her home with me again, we go to bed again, don't try anything, just cuddle, ask her what last weekend was about, she doesn't want to say at first but eventually tells.
She was like drugged and raped or something while on vacation, I apologize for last week, but she says it's cool. We just chill and make out.
Now, my question, what do i do? I think maybe she wants more than just the D, while that's really all I can do atm, don't want a GF.
But thing is, do I ditch her? Do i treat her normal and bang her once? What is the plan? don't want her to feel used, and I don't want her to feel unwanted.
I have quite the slutty player personality so usually girls are perfectly clear that it's a one time thing, most don't even bother to ask my name twice.
Also, not sure if she has been with anyone since that happened, and not sure when it happened, so don't want to mess up her view of guys. And I think she has only told two of her friends | I am a slut and was just looking to get laid, hung out a little to much with a chick so she might think there is more then just sex. second time of her staying over I find out she was raped and that's why we didn't have sex when she was over. And now I am not sure how to handle this without fucking up. |
t3_2k50rh | relationships | I [23 M] was invited to a scholarship dinner for my school program where guests are encouraged. Girlfriend [23 F] is in the same program (of 120 people) and did not get invited. Do I bring her as a guest? Do I even go? | So my girlfriend and I met in law school last year. I received a scholarship upon entrance (has nothing to do with my law school performance) because I had high entrance test scores.
I was recently invited to our scholarship dinner. I have a large scholarship and I think it would be really nice to attend because it is a nice dinner and I'm pretty sure that my donors will be there. I think it is a social faux pax not to go. They want me (and everyone else) invited to bring a guest. Sweet, I'd love to bring my girlfriend.
But there's an issue. We're both in the same class (it's a small class of 120) and my girlfriend doesn't have a scholarship. Therefore she was not invited. She feels bad, as she feels like "she doesn't deserve to attend" and she "snuck her way in". I completely understand how she feels. I recognize that it is a tough situation and may make her feel kind of shitty. However I wish she was more confident in herself. I love her greatly and she's very wonderful and smart too, if not smarter than me. Once again, this has nothing to do with law school performance, as the scholarships are awarded before entrance.
One more tough hurdle... The scholarship dinner is on our one year anniversary that we were planning on celebrating. Moving our anniversary to the weekend is no big deal, but it's obviously making me feel bad because I do not want her to think I am blowing that off. The anniversary important to me and she knows that.
Do I go at all? Do we go? | I need some help with figuring out scholarship dinner. |
t3_2zwkl0 | tifu | Tifu by shitting the bed | So this actually happened today so brownie points for me.
I've been sick the past couple days. The first night I felt terrible and was sore and dizzy and my stomach hurt. I threw up and after that I felt better. Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty good and only had a little bit of a fever. I was up and active all day and felt good except for being sore. So I though it was over. Cut to this morning where I woke up and felt liquid running across my butt. Apparently while I was asleep my ass decided to open and let the liquid flow. It was all over my underwear and on the bed. Of course my girlfriend is sleeping in the bed with me. Great. So I get up and run to the bathroom to finish business and clean my self. I come out and my girlfriend is in the kitchen. I put clean boxers on and go to lay down. She changed the sheets already. I flop down angry and embarrassed. She walks in and says "babe?" I groggily look up and say "I'm so pissed off" and she looks at me and says "shit happens" and laughs. I need to marry this girl haha. Not only did she change the sheets and make the bed. She went to food lion at 7am to buy me Gatorade and pedialite before heading to work. But I'll never live down the fact that my girlfriend woke up and rolled over and touched my shit. I'm sorry babe, but god damn you're the best lol | diarrhea-ed my self in bed and gf cleaned up but still loves me |
t3_3c0528 | relationships | I [32M] am falling for my co-worker [31F]. | 9 months ago, this woman, whom I'll refer to as Jessica, started working at the place I work. She's so fine: dark chocolate skin, she's thick, smart and has a sense of humour. I'm immediately attracted to her.
I start talking to her and we immediately hit it off. We have the same interests, and that keeps us talking for a couple of months.
I started developing feelings for her about 4 months ago. I haven't told her about my feelings, but by the way she interacts with me, I can tell she knows wassup.
I'm conflicted right now. I REALLY like this girl, but I've talked to friends about this and they've all said "Don't shit where you eat". We've been on a couple of dates, and I want to take it further.
Anyone who's ever been in this situation have any advice? | Falling for co-worker. Need advice. |
t3_2017mh | relationships | Why do I [18M] feel the need to be in a relationship all the time? | Okay so this is half ramble half question. I've always been really into relationships, in that even if it's not super perfect, I'll still try my hardest to keep it afloat. It's like I have an emotional hunger that can only be filled by a girl. And I've always struggled with self-image problems, so when I am in a relationship, I always think that that's the last time someone's ever going to like me.
When I'm in a relationship, I'm always looking for more affection, and when I'm not in one, I get really depressed. I always see people who say they enjoy the single life, having their "alone time", or break up just because it's not perfect. None of which I could understand. For me, having someone who's always there to talk to, who you can cuddle, hold hands, hang out with, (and sexual stuff but that's not super high on my list) is better than...not having that person.
Basically, why do I crave being in a relationship all the time? Does anybody have any advice on how not to be so dependent on other people. I've heard the whole be happy with yourself first and find things to keep you busy and all that but I'm just so fixated on being in a relationship. | Why can't I be happy without a relationship |
t3_2s1r8y | relationships | My [27/F] mordant sense of humor may have ended things with a potential [32/M]... need your perspective! | We met on OKC and chatted over drinks for about 5 hours on our first date. At the end of it, he said he thought I was completely awesome and wanted to see me again. We see each other that weekend and have another amazing time (more chatting, more drinks, dancing, lots of kissing). At this time I'd been playing it coy, cool, and safe. He leaves for Christmas for almost 2 weeks and he suggested we keep in touch during that time, which we did (we texted every day). He planned our third date the day he got back.
We go on our third date (hike, dinner, drinks) and had some awkward moments because I tend to get nervous when I start liking someone and put my foot in my mouth. I have a pretty mordant sense of humor, which people may not catch on to at first... I went on some tangent about people who are afraid of microwaves (turns out his mom is one of them), chemtrail conspiracists, and AM v. PM showerers... anyway, he seemed a bit taken back, but I thought it went okay since things ended with a goodnight kissing session. I asked him out a few days later and he suggested a date exploring his neighborhood the following weekend.
Two days before the 4th date, I get a text saying that he's had a ton of fun getting to know me, but started seeing someone else regularly and wants to see where that goes and that he hopes to see me around...
It burns to get dropped, but I'm not upset at what happened. I'm looking to get perspective on the situation since I am new to the dating scene (been in a LTR basically all of my adult life up until early last year). I know I'll never get the full story, but is it likely that he changed his mind because of something negative I did or how I behaved on that third/last date? | I went on 2 amazing dates with a guy, who tells me straight up he's interested and had a great connection with for a month. After a fun, but possibly awkward 3rd date where I facetiously hate on various things/people, he agrees to and plans a 4th date, but then ends things in between. He tells me he's started seeing someone else regularly... Was it likely something I said/did on the last date that changed his mind? |
t3_ag6to | AskReddit | So my contract with Verizon is about to end... | Here's my predicament. I'm finally a grown up, and my contract with my parents cell phone carrier runs out in March. I really want to get an iphone or something comparable, I currently rock a blackberry and want something with more applications.
I could extend my contract with Verizon right now and pick up a Droid and continue to pay my parents $50 a month which is no big deal. Or I can wait until march to jump on AT&T and pay around $100 a month but I get to have an iphone. The third option would be to stick with Verizon and hope the iphone comes to it Q4 2010. | Verizon + Droid = $50 | AT&T + iPhone = $100 | Verizon + iPhone = ?? |
t3_3oaf57 | relationships | I [15M] dislike living at my Mum's [41F] house for a number of reasons, and I want to stay with my Dad full time [43M] but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do | To start it off, I want to preface this by saying that my parents are divorced and I live at both houses 50/50.
My Father provides large amounts of child support that goes to my "poor" Mother's investment property and the house mortgage. My younger brother also has holes and rips in his school clothes, we struggle to get anything new from her, such as school shoes and we almost always get hand-me-downs from friends of our Mother.
My Mum also has a new laptop, is thinking of getting another investment property and constantly goes out with her girlfriends every weekend. Oh but if I want new school shoes that aren't falling apart, or there's school fees to pay **I** have to hassle my **Father** in telling him to help pay for these things.
My Mother also constantly talks shit about my Father in front of my brother and I and it is driving me insane. She always blames me for the things he does (which are totally reasonable, why would you bitch about my Father for asking you to provide sufficient food in the house? Why not buy a loaf of bread for god's sake) and uses me to get things from him.
I really really want to ask my Dad to stay with him full time and having been thinking about it for 9 months but I don't know if I should. Is it the right thing to do? Am I in the wrong? Am I just being an antsy teenager? | I want to live with my Dad full time because I dislike what my Mum does and reasons such as that. Is it the right thing to do? |
t3_3je48t | running | Need some help/advice about possibly attending a half-marathon | So I'm a pretty casual runner, main goal just to keep my cardio fairly good. I try to run about 3 times a week, with two 6-7km runs and one a bit longer, ~8km run. I've never even considered races, but I've gotten an opportunity which I'd like to use.
I've never trained for a specific goal, so I don't know how to approach this. My current stats are; 5k in 20.33 (it was a 6km speed run), never ran a 10k, but I'm quite confident I could keep a 5min/km pace. My average pace is ~4.50min per km. | 52 days for a casual runner to run a half-marathon, |
t3_2td793 | jobs | My interview felt more like a new employee orientation... Did i get the job? | Hello Reddit,
I went to an interview today at a research facility, for a tech position working on some high tech stuff. I have a close family friend who recommended that I apply there. He has no direct control over my getting hired, but regardless he put the good word in with the manager who would be my future boss and that guy's boss as well. My current employer spoke high of me as well, so I felt that I had a good chance.
I was still hesitant, because I come from a largely military background and do not have a degree (this position doesn't require one.). I get to the interview, and the lead manager, the boss of the boss of the position, told me instead of a formal interview he was going to show me around the machine. For the next 45 or so minutes, he walked me around the area showing me what the position entails. He kept saying things like "this can be a very high stress enviroment, but from what your resumeshowed I doubt you'll have a problem." He then went into the hours and pay and was asking if that all would work for me. The tour came to an end, and instead of feeling nervous I felt entertained, from learning all about something I only had a basic understanding of. It was interesting for sure but...not what I was expecting. Then, the position's direct boss and two of his workerscame in to have a real (what I was expecting) interview. They asked 3-4 of the normal questions, and kept it real short. Very very friendly, but not what I expected.
In short, it was not like any interview I've ever been to, felt more like a "welcome to the place." No "what's your greatest weakness questions," etc. I just have to wonder if this is normal practice, and if others have had similar things happen. I obviously want (and need) this job, so I really hope that it went well. | Job interview was a tour of the place with very little interviewing and lots of talk about what life willbe like for me to work there |
t3_1de44e | relationship_advice | How do I know if she[18/f] is interested in me[18/m]? | A little backstory:
She and I met before university, but only as acquaintances in our senior year of high school. We had several classes together and ended getting to know each other. We were actually got pretty flirty, and talked a lot on the phone (texting really) but it just kinda dropped off when summer started. When uni rolled around we found out that we were going to the same school (never came up in conversation) and started to hang out a ton just because it was just nice to know someone, then we made our own friends and kinda stopped hanging out again. Now that it's summer again she sent me some messages before finals week and we picked up right where we left off.
So we were hanging out last Saturday night with some friends and she and I were talking during dinner (we went to dinner and a film with a small group) and she said she wished she could find a ride home for the summer, and when I offered she accepted and gave me a hug. Then we went back to a friends house afterwards and were just playing games when she complains she's cold and and asked me for the hoodie I brought, and then cuddles up to me. She was flirting and touching me for the rest of the night and when she got up to leave, she asked me to walk her home. Halfway there she grabbed my hand cause she 'got scared' and held it all the way back. When we got to her door, we said goodbye and she thanked me for the walk and kept my sweater. I haven't really heard from her since, but we've both been busy with finals so I can't really blame her.
So does she like me? Am I reading into this too much? How should I handle this? She's all I want in a girl, and I guess I just don't want to mess this thing up. This'll probably get ignored, but thanks in advance for those who do read! | I think a girl I have a crush on likes me, how should I handle it? |
t3_37ygya | relationships | I [18 M] am considering ditching my group of friends [18-20/mixed gender composition] when I get back to university in the fall. | I'm very uncertain about whether I should continue socializing with my primary peer group; at first, I appreciated being surrounded by such a large bunch of individuals, but gradually, I've begun to realize that my severe social awkwardness acts as an impediment for becoming truly integrated into any social circle. My immediate associates likely just chose to tolerate my presence out of pity, sympathy, and concern, and the position I occupy in this aforementioned group is very much akin to that of a fringe member (overall, the others tend to treat me like a child, and I constantly end up getting rebuked or reprimanded for my many errors).
To make matters worse, I developed an unrequited crush on a girl – despite her kindness, I never saw any indication that she liked me back, and even if she did, other circumstantial factors would still make it impossible. It's so idiotic that I'd develop such a selfish emotional attachment – I've intentionally rejected every bit of compassion that she's tossed my way in hopes that being cold/dismissive would prevent her from learning about any of this, and although I cannot know for sure, I believe she did eventually figure it all out due to a rather humiliating incident that I'd prefer not to expound on.
From a purely objective standpoint), my presence has just added stress/anxiety to the group, and I don't feel that I've been of benefit to anyone else (just to be clear, words like compassionate, friendly, or gregarious couldn't exactly be used to describe my personality). My life has always been pretty screwed up (if you want further details about that, I'd recommend PMing me), and I think that my closest friend out of the group (the guy who introduced me to everyone in the first place) has begun to care *too much* about how I'm coping with it all. Honestly, I don't want him to feel responsible for whatever fate eventually befalls me (after all, he's done everything that he can to help), and I currently believe that departing from the group might be the best choice available to me. | Encountering some difficulties with my college friends, and I'm considering that it might be best if I remove myself from the situation entirely. |
t3_1ouktz | relationships | I [24/M] asked a mutual friend [24/F] to have a drink with me. Was this considered a date? | Backstory: Me (24M, single), my friend (24F, nonsingle), and her best friend (24F, single, just met her) have been hanging out as a trio for about once a week over the last month or so. I've developed feelings for the best friend who I know is single.
Last week I asked if she wanted to get a drink with me at the pub, she said yes. This was our first 1-on-1 meeting without our mutual friend; at the end, I offered to pay for the tab but she objected and we ended up splitting it. Was this considered a date? That was what I intended it to be, but I didn't specifically use the word "date" when I asked her. I am really into this woman so I hope it was clear that I am looking to be more than just friends.
How do I go about making my intentions clear from this point on? | Two mutual friends, both single, get together. Was this a "date" or not? |
t3_21z6xu | travel | SSSS-Secondary Security Screening Selection for the first time. Will it happen again? | Hi all.
I was flying out of Canada with a Layover in the USA on my way to South America. Due to the layover (and the airliner) I had to clear US Security/Customs at the Canadian airport.
My boarding pass was marked SSSS. Which means I had to go through more security screening- 'the wand test' on my hands, carry-on was also hand searched, and the hand held metal detector was used. It wasn't all bad news, as I was escorted by a screening officer to the front of the line so I didn't have to wait in the cattle rails!
I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this, or knows anything about it. Was this a one-time deal, or have I made my way onto some list where this is going to be a regular thing. | SSSS on boarding pass=extra security checking. Will this happen all the time to me? |
t3_2skmzn | personalfinance | Would it be wise to pay off some of my student loans in bulk using inheritance money? | Background:
I'm a 23 year old recent grad who just got a 50k/yr entry level job. My parents were generous enough to pay for some of my education and I have been left with 25k of student loans (Federal Unsubsidized stafford) as my own responsibility. My grandparents have posthumously left me a gift of 10k which was meant to be a college graduation gift of some sort.
My question is, would it be wise to get a (relatively large) jump start on my loans by using all of this inheritance money? Or should I use only some for the loans and put the rest in savings? Currently I have almost 3k sitting in a credit union that I put away as "emergency money" before I started college. After reading the FAQ I almost feel like building on my emergency money. But I also feel like paying more up front will lower my interest owed down the road, which would save me money.
If I should provide anymore information please let me know. Thanks for the help. | should I use all of my 10k inheritance to get a head start on my 25k worth of student loans |
t3_4157nm | personalfinance | Where to draw the line between me [30M] helping out my mom [65F] and dad [68M] out economically and paying for your own stuff? | This was posted on relationships but i think i can get a clearer picture in personalfinance.
Heres my family situation: Were a group of 5, my two parents and my older sister and younger brother.My brothers 24, Im 30 and my sisters 36, both parents are in their late 60s and unemployed. They had a very successful company roughly 20 years ago which gave us three our education got us through high school and college. Now both myself and my brothers are still living at home with my parents and we three split every expense equally, rent, gas, car, groceries, electricity, etc.
This has a large economic toll on me as roughly 60% of everything I earn working goes towards house expenses. Another 25% aproximately goes towards my health insurance, car insurance, cell phone and gasoline with the remainder going towards leisure and activities. Sometimes expenses around the house are higher than the 60% allocated for that and I dont have the cash to actually help out as much as I would want to someitmes. This really irritates my parents and makes our relationship influenced on the amount of money im willing to give out every month (note that we are a very loving family and my parents are GREAT its just this money situation really gets the worse of them)
What will happen when I move out? Get married? Have kids? Im really worried about this and dont know what to do, the only solution I would think of is getting a higher paying job which im currently looking for. | question is this: When is it OK to say "No, right now I cant give you any money" and going out my way to provide them with the amount of money theyre asking for? |
t3_3xgwhv | relationships | I (21/f) can't trust my friend (21/f) anymore since she has started telling me intimate stuff about other people. | Yes I know, it's a stupid reason. But hear me out.
I'm friends with this girl for a year and a half. We are also collegemates so we see eachother daily.
We don't have that many things in common. She's the type to tell jokes, laugh, and talk about her personal life and intimate relationship stuff, while I'm passive and usually just listen and be more reserved.
All is good.
Up until the point where we started this year's college. She befriended another collegemate which I know. They're almost besties. They've never fought.
I'm like ok, it's nice having more friends right?
We occasionally go drink coffee at a cafe. Me, her and some other dude. And at some point, she starts to talk about this girl's intimate stuff. Like how many sexual partners she had, or who she hooked up with this time. And some other intimate stuff like "oh nooo, she did oral, how gross!!".
She was basically spitting out everything that the girl told her.
Need I remind you she never had a fight with this person, and that they are in good terms. Still.
I confronted her and told her that she should stop talking about other people's intimate lives to us, especially if it's someone she is friends with. She got a little mad, and told me she tells us these things because she trusts us.
And I don't know how I should feel about the whole thing. It's not like this was the first time it happened, she also said intimate stuff about other people. | friend is a total blabbermouth and talks about other people's intimate stuff to me and another coleague, I really feel like I can't trust her anymore. |
t3_1k4u2x | relationships | I [22/m] feel like I cannot talk to my girlfriend [23/f] about my emotions | I have been dating this girl for about 6 months, and we got together properly last week. She is highly religious and believes that God is the solution to all of our problems.
Whenever I try to talk to her about my emotions, she does one of two things. First, she will give me some theological answer while failing to actually talk to me about how I feel and understand me better. Second, she will get really pissed off at me for not trusting her and her commitment to change.
For instance, I just tried to talk to her about my insecurities surrounding our relationship, and she got really angry at me for not trusting in her promise to stick with me. However, I'm afraid that she won't keep this promise because she tends to let her emotions get the better of herself. She refuses to recognise this and consequently I feel like I can't express myself to her.
How should I talk to her about these issues and get her to be more understanding/ proactive about my emotions? I really like her but I feel I can't be with her if she doesn't acknowledge that I have emotions too? | I feel like I cannot talk to my girlfriend about my emotions because she doesn't listen to me. I would like help in terms of helping her to understand me better . |
t3_2ohhmz | relationships | My daughter [18 F] with her boyfriend [22 M] of two months, is he too old for her? | My daughter is eighteen (19 in two months) and she's just told me she's been dating her coworker for two months. She met him at the gallery she works at (she was going to go to Uni but she got in a car accident and her confidence went down a lot and she decided to take a year out) and he is four years older than her at 22. I get that four years isn't a huge age gap, but she is only eighteen and this is her first relationship.
I'm worried that he's too old for her, especially that she just told me that she's going to Prague with him for a week (for work) and she'll be totally reliant on him because he is half Czech so speaks the language. He seems nice enough and my daughter is very mature, but I wouldn't want him to take advantage of her. I just know that if I step in I'll feel like the bad guy, and I don't want to restrict her freedom as she is an adult, but he has already dome his degree and has most likely had girlfriends before. I'm just worried that it's all too much, considering this is her first relationship).
I don't mean to be a controlling mother but I'm just worried about her. Am I being too protective or not? | ! |
t3_26pb48 | relationships | My [21/F] boyfriend [21/M] of two years is moving 900 miles away for the summer... | I've been dating my current boyfriend for two years. We've had an extremely happy relationship. He goes to college while I dropped out and work full-time. In order to graduate, he must complete an internship in his field. He got a well-paid offer from a company 900 miles away. I told him that he should go, seeing as it's difficult to find a paid internship at all and it's perfect for his field. However I can't afford to move with him for just those three months, so I'm staying home and working.
We've lived together for the last year, and we do literally everything together. We both work and go to school and immediately come home to hang out, play videogames, cook dinner, binge-watch TV series together. I can't even begin to imagine having to live the next 3 months without him by my side. I already know that I struggle with long distance relationships due to a short bout where I was commuting away for 4 days a week. During that time, we mostly fought a lot about stupid shit, and every argument basically boiled down to "why can't you just be here..."
Basically, I'm looking for tips on how to make a long distance relationship stay fun. I don't want to spend the whole summer moping about not being able to see him. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I'll get to see him for a few weekends here and there, but all I can think about is the long stretch of hot lonely days between visits. | Boyfriend is moving away for the summer for an internship, I'm staying here, Please give me tips on how to keep my sanity as well as the fun in the relationship! |
t3_rtmvz | relationships | Boyfriend is going to college in August, I'll still be in high school. *UPDATE* | My boyfriend just turned 18 and is a senior, I am 17 and a junior. We've been dating for six months. This is my first real relationship. Over winter break he got accepted to the college of his dreams. It's a few hours away from where we live now. He says that he'll come down to see me twice a month minimum but I don't think that'll happen considering we don't know what our schedules will look like.
I have enough credits to graduate this December, and by then I'll be 18 too.
I'm planning on attending the same college only starting a semester later so he would only be up there without me for about five months.
The thing is, by staying together I think it will hinder his college experience. (No random hookups/wild parties)
**A little about our relationship:**
He gave me a promise ring.
We're still working on the whole trust thing
We're in love.
We fight sometimes, but it's usually over silly things
He's very sweet, romantic, and most of the time a complete gentlemen
My family loves him
I love his family
**Somethings He said that should be mentioned**
"I'm willing to do anything for you"
"I love you baby. I'll even pay for the apartment"
**Me** I feel like I'll hinder your college experience
**Him**"I don't believe it'll affect me" (Staying with me)
"You won't hinder college for me"
"I want to stay with you"
"I'll do everything for you" | My boyfriend is going away to college in August, what should we do? |
t3_238dx9 | relationships | I (35f) brought up moving in together w my SO (43m). He doesn't want to. Together 2 years. Thoughts? | We both own our own houses, he's divorced, I've never been married.
I'd like to move in together because I spend most of my time at his house and I don't feel like I live anywhere. I pack a bag almost every day to stay at his house but all my stuff is at my house (except for toiletries).
His reasons for not wanting to move in are: 1. that he's worried we will fight about stupid stuff and it will cause us to break up. 2. That moving in together doesn't change anything about the relationship, it just makes things worse. 3. We need to have our own space to go to so we can maintain a healthy relationship. 4. He's not ready to be done being a bachelor.
I explained that in my opinion we can figure out a way to solve (or at least work on) all three of the first things and we agreed to talk about it again in a month. I also said that in the mean time I need to feel like I live in my home so I'm (we're) going to stay at my place at least half the time.
I know that until he's really ready to live together it doesn't make sense, but I'm feeling sad that he feels this strongly against it.
Those of you who live with your SOs, what is your experience with this? | I'm sad. |
t3_1i1o2r | relationships | Me[21M] broke up with my ex of 4 years (F20) seven months ago - The anger isn't fading | My ex Girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me and left me seven months ago. Our had been fizzling out for a while truth be told. She didn't excite me, she was selfish, self centered and manipulative. Despite all of this I can't let her go. The injustice of it all, I bent over backwards for this woman and did everything to keep her happy but she had the indecency to play away from home instead of trying to work things out.
She is now with a new boyfriend - She practically fell into bed with him as soon as I was out of the picture. She seems happy and is doing all the things with this new man that I wished she had done with me but was never up for.
I can't see an end to this. I've tried everything in my power to put it behind me. I know it's bitter but I can't stand to see her so happy when I'm miserable. The anger is not constant, some days I have optimistic days and others (Such as today) are terrible. I've been telling myself that time will heal but it doesn't.
There must be others in the same situation as me out there. How are you dealing with it? How did you get over it? | I broke up with my ex seven months ago and the anger I have for her just doesn't go |
t3_4dk7nb | Advice | Complicating situation preventing me from asking this girl out | Ok. So I'm still in high school and I'm in my band program. Well for those of you who are/were in band, y'all know that the drum majors are basically the head honchos throughout the whole year. At the end of every school year we have a band banquet where we dress super nice and we all go to a fancy venue and eat a fancy dinner and then dance and party the rest of the night. Well one of the drum majors is trying to go after this girl that I've been really interested in since middle school (we're juniors now). I feel like I can't really do anything about it without the rest of the band hating me for "stealing his girl" even though I've planned on taking her longer than he has. Idk. | A kid with more authority than me is trying to take the same girl I want to take to this fancy banquet. |
t3_h2c44 | AskReddit | Boyfriend Birthday Card Help?? | Dear Reddit,
My boyfriend's birthday is next week..I sat down at the computer to make him a card and realized I have no idea what I'm doing and it will end up being a printed sheet with clip art from Word. So I turn to you reddit, and ask that if anyone is computer design/Photoshop savvy and has some extra time or nothing to do to help me out with this. My boyfriend is a long time redditor and would love to find out when opening his card that this is how it came to be. I have a couple of ideas for what should be in the card but PM me if you are interested because like I said he's a redditor and will almost certainly see this. If you can help out great, if not also cool I totally understand just figured I'd try. Thanks Reddit! | Want to give my boyfriend a kick ass card on his birthday, have no idea how to go about this on the computer NEED HELP! |
t3_f0xw5 | AskReddit | Reddit, one of my favorite radio show about ghost, aliens, time travel, etc. (Coast To Coast AM) is being take over by right wing crazies. Is there anything we can do? | I don't know how many of you are familar with the show but its a fun listen late at night that I used to enjoy but ever since the new host (George Noory) it has gotten to the point where I cringe about the topics being discussed.
During High School and College I remeber staying up doing homework listening to Art Bell discuss awesome topics and generally making me want to further explore things that we being discussed. But most of all it was a fun experience and I looked forward to it every night getting my antenna just in the right position to catch the signal and hear they were going to have open lines. They used to have on Scientist from respected colleges, MIT teachers, philosophers, Artist, theoretical physicist, and the occasional crazy.
But lately it has got to point where I can't even listen for a few minutes because of the topics being discussed. Even though the schedule on the site says certain topics somehow they change it last minute or the guest calls out. Over the last months they included
1. A Rep from The Christian Network discussing how Muslims are infilterating America and planning to take over the justice system
2. A Tea Party talking head discussing how , if needed , we need to take up arms against the federal goverement.
3. Minutemen discussing Anchor babies and how America is dying due to the influx of immigrants and thier diseases.
4. Obama being a Muslim
5. And just general Fear mongering, buy gold now , anti-Vaccine, anti-muslim, rhetoric.
It feels like im listening to Glenn Beck radio news hour or something. | Show I grew up with is going down the shithole. Anything I can do to bring it back? |
t3_31twr2 | relationships | My [19/F] Girlfriend told me [19/M] she needs space | I've known this girl for years and finally after 2 months I won her heart. At first it was great, we used to hang out a lot, well when she had time because of school and her mom is very strict. We got to an argument about her ex that she doesn't like to talk about -- bad memories I should say. She told me.
She got angry and told me she needs space BUT it's for me because I have express feelings towards her that I think it was a big mistake. I have told her that I love her multiple times. So have she. She said she wants me in her life, she want's a future with me a month ago - now coming back about her ex, I told her if she was texting him you know, I'm a jealous type of guy and she said no. She said she blocked him from her mobile device, deleted him, etc... !! But 2 days ago I told her that someone told me that she was texting him, but ITS TOO SEE WHAT SHE SAYS. She said no that no one knew that she was with that guy in our town and then she figured it out that I was lying. I never admitted it but she figured it out.
Minutes later she told me she needs space, not for her, but for me because I'm too fast in the relationship. Because I keep asking her if I can spend time with her like old times and she replies that she can't right now because of school work. I had 2 weeks without spending time alone with her. Then she told, "from now on were going to take things slow."
I respect her decision but it hurts knowing she wants space even though I really like this girl. I disabled the app that I talk to her with so I don't get any notifications, but later I enabled it and checked my messages and just had a 2 minutes conversation, not about our relationship but just some ordinary text she sent me this morning. Does she still want to be with me? Is there still hope? Should I contact her later on or make her come looking me - in other words, wait for her to text back. | She says love for her is hard and in time she will love me as much as I love her. Can't tell if she likes me or not since she doesn't express herself that often plus again I don't see her like I used too because of her school work and personal things. |
t3_30prh9 | dating_advice | typical college love situation | so ive known this girl for a couple months, we met in the beginning of first semester. (were both freshmen M18 F18). I immediately knew there was something special about her, and that I wanted something more then a friendship. But she does have a boyfriend who goes to another college so he is here like every other week or so. We have constantly been flirting on and off all year, shes slept over (nothing happened except cuddling), ive slept there (same thing). Her boyfriend is pretty much a scumbag and treats her like shit she is brought to tears over it around 3-4 times a week. He even went as far to call her a "disgusting stupid bitch" the other night. Anyway, we went out the other night and she got very drunk and was telling my friend how she sees me as a best friend, but deep down she believes that she does love me. But she's not sure what she wants or what to do, so she doesn't do anything. The whole night she was on top of me pretty much, hugging, dancing, kisses on the cheek etc. Next day we hung out and watched a movie, she doesnt remember anything so I had to act like nothing happened which was probably the most difficult thing ever. So pretty much my question is, wtf do I do from here, is it worth making a move or should i just give up and move on. | girl giving insane mixed signals, has a boyfriend, im a pussy and not sure what to do. |
t3_3ecjvh | askwomenadvice | 21F - My mother emotionally abused me and now I can't trust women enough to make long lasting female friendships. | I was emotionally abused by my mother growing up and constantly picked on by other girls in school for either how I looked or the way I acted or both, so I could never keep a female friend.
Because of this history, I grew up thinking that all women must be cruel and mean on the inside and even if they act nice at first they must think I'm a joke or not really like me or want to spend time with me.
Now that I've grown up a little I realize this isn't true, but I still have problems creating long lasting female friendships. | I want to have female friends, but I can't seem to keep them. |
t3_oak2t | AskReddit | single father's with custody, please offer some advice for my friend | My best friend has had his partner desert him and is finding it hard to cope. This is in Australia so I'm not sure that much in American legal advice will help, hopefully some Australian redditors who have dealt with Centrelink can help.
1. she left a few months ago, took their two kids and all their possessions (he came back to an empty house)
2. since then she wasn't able to pay her rent and is now flatting with some 20+ yos (she's 40+) which leads to
3. he currently has full custody but no custody agreement has been signed so pretty much any time he hands the kids over she could just change her mind. she has thus far been unwilling and uncooperative when it comes to signing a legal agreement dividing their possessions /debts and childcare obligations.
4. CentreLink aren't willing to pay his child care benefit even though he meets the [elegibility requirements] and it means that a huge chunk of his pay would go to childcare ($400/week)
5. He's trying to keep the family home. Their other debts equal the amount that they own of their home, so he's happy to take on the debt himself to keep the home; she has thus fur been uncooperative and wants him to take on the debt as well as sell the home and pay her her share of that (wtf right?)
6. he has spoken with a lawyer and basically been told that he is screwed because she has ovaries and he doesn't (I don't know the exact details of the conversation, just the vibe of the thing).
Has anyone gone through a similar shitty experience and could maybe offer some perspective or advice for how he can get Centrelink to treat him fairly or at least take his case seriously? | Single Father with full custody is getting no help from the system that supports Single Mothers |
t3_2mk6qn | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 1.5 years, unsure HOW to break up | Hi reddit,
I'm a little bit lost at the moment. I love my girlfriend, we have a ton of fun together and I consider her my best friend. However, there are still a number of things I want to do such as travel (for a few months after graduation) and be completely independent, without having to worry about a SO. I also do not feel like I'm 100% ready to settle down.
We met in college but are currently medium distance (2.5/3 hours apart). I am fairly certain I want to end things, but I don't know how to do it. All of my previous relationships fizzled out and just ended, as none of them were as serious. The only exception is one that ended in a mutual breakup, where we were both super relieved when we realized we were each trying to give each other the break up speech at the same time, so I've only had a positive break up experience to this point.
Here is the thing, in my current relationship, it would absolutely break my girlfriends heart (as well as mine), and just be awful in general. She is strong, but has a tender heart and is incredibly kind. I know it is absolutely unfair for me to stay in this relationship and not let her get on with her life, but every time I tell myself I'm going to end things I can't bring myself to do it. It's also difficult because we only see each other every few weeks in 2-3 day chunks (and have a great time) and I can't bare the thought of her stuck on public transportation for 3 hours after an emotional break up. I also don't know if it's fair to end things over the phone.
If any of you have had to end things with someone you love, purely because you're not ready, I would love to hear your advice, as well as anyone who can relate. Thanks! | Love my girlfriend, it's not her, it's me. I don't know how to end things. Any help is appreciated. |
t3_4siet6 | weddingplanning | NYC Area Wedding Venue Help | My fiance and I are looking to get married in Mar/Apr or Sep/Oct 2017, on a Sunday during the day. Our tentative guest list is 100 right now, but I expect fewer than that will show, so maybe 75? Short non-religious ceremony in the same place as the reception preferred. Budget: ideally less than $15k total.
I've looked at a lot of the 'cheap' NYC venues (like The Picnic House and Queens County Farm Museum) and with venue fees and catering it's close to our $15k budget for everything. I've checked restaurants and even though they don't always have a venue fee, they often have food/drink minimums that are more than our entire budget. If we DO have our wedding in a restaurant, we'd like it to be nice enough that it doesn't seem weird having the ceremony there.
We're okay with Westchester, and maybe an hour or so drive upstate (near a train line preferred). I've looked at some restaurants in Westchester, though, and they're just as expensive as NYC half the time.
Has anyone been through this, and can help? Recommendations on a venue + caterer or restaurant that won't totally destroy our budget would be awesome. But really any advice at this point would be appreciated! | $15k total budget, 75-100 people, Sunday daytime. Does any venue/caterer or restaurant even exist to meet these needs in NYC or Westchester? |
t3_1odol9 | relationships | I [20M] just started talking to my ex [19 F] again, she wants to be friends, but I'm hesitant becuase I still love her. | I cracked once again and started talking with my ex.
She broke up with me 8 months ago. We broke because I had been extremely depressed and was I struggling to find psychological help for my depression. She felt I wasn't doing anything to try and help myself so she left. (I at one point was threatening to kill myself if she had left) Early during the break up, we ended having sex twice. (One of those times she was in another relationship) After that I completely cut contact with her. Since then I've been seeing a therapist and exercising. Overall I'm trying to improve myself.
We haven't spoken in 5 months until today. I decided to unblock her on Facebook and ask how she's been. She was glad that I contacted her and still wants to be my friend. The conversation ended with on a good note, but I let her know that I still have all these feelings for her and I wasn't sure that seeing her would be a good idea. She agreed, but still wanted to see me regardless. She invited me to go see a movie next week with her and I'm afraid of how I'll react when I see her. The last we saw each I ended up crying for a whole hour and then we had sex.
I don't know if I should go out with her next week. I want to, but I don't at the same time. I know that nothing I do can ever get her back and yet I still insist on hurting myself by contacting her. What should I do? | Started talking to my ex again, she invited me to hang out, I don't know if I should go. |
t3_2ovm2r | relationships | Dad [56] is stealing my property share | 11 months ago, my mom died. She left us, in her testament, 50% of the property shares we currently have (1 houses and 2 apartments) to me and my brother. Along with that I have a student benefit for 625 dollars per month as long as I continue my studies.
I am an apprentice engineer (in an engineering school while employed by a company to do an engineer job) making around 16k a year. I live with my dad, who earns about 70k per year.
My brother moved 3 years ago with his girlfriend.
First, all of the 625 dollars goes into paying a third of the rent. I apparently don't have a word to say about that. He didn't ask me about it. When I tried to confront him about it, he needed it to pay the rent.
Now, my dad is selling one of the apartments that we have, but my brother and I won't have any money from it. For him, the profits coming from the sell will pay the remaining loans.
Since I am an apprentice I pay everything by myself. Food, metro card, holidays, school stationery; the only thing that he pays is my mobile phone subscription. I bought my phone, alone.
In march, he took two weeks of holidays, out from nowhere, who cost him 5000 dollars at least. Now, he plans to spend the same amount to take flying classes after the sell of the apartment.
I feel like lied and cheated, but I have no idea how to confront him about it. I never made a teenage crisis and I hate having an argument with people. I usually come with an argument, he debunks it, I am speechless, and the discussion stops here. He tells me to save money for later, but I barely manage to do it. I can't ask him money for anything. | I think I am stolen by my dad, but I don't know how to confront him. |
t3_21sdd5 | relationships | There is that girl... | Hello Reddit
Well, i (m20) dont know if this is the right subreddit but i try.
Saturday, i picked up a friend of mine (he lives at his mothers for the week and comes into my town on weekends) and he brought a girl friend (19) (not his girlfriend) with him.
We were in my appartement and got ready for going to the club.
Normally, girls dont talk much to me, but she almost didnt stop, she was so nice and sweet to me, it was my best night for a long time, i think she is really cute, we like the same things, listen to the same music, have the same humor.
But i dont know how to feel about it, maybe she is interested in me, maybe she just thinks im nice and funny to talk to.
Next time i see her is at my friends birthday party in two weeks and im looking forward to have a great night again.
But i fear, that this is all and this would be the last time we see eachother.
I am a really shy person and i never knew how to talk to girls, but i want to ask her out and have no idea how i should do that. | There is a girl i like and i want to ask her out. |
t3_21sbhw | Advice | To go to Pre-Marital Counseling or Not to Go? | I've dated this guy for four years, been engaged for 7 months. He's my best friend. We're both a little introverted, so we love staying in together and playing video games. We both love library dates and working out. I always offer to stay out of things so he can have bro time or alone time. Sometimes he'll take me up on the offer, sometimes he won't. Point is, we're super compatible. Today he decided he doesn't know if getting married is the best choice, because he won't be able to chase other girls or have freedom.
We're trying to work through this- it's one of those "We can do it! We've been through so much together!" situations. We've always tried to work through things alone, but now we are considering pre-marital counseling (nonreligious). Has anyone ever tried or have any recommendations for us? Any input is greatly appreciated. | Indecisive fiance and I are trying to work shit out and don't know if to get professional help or not. |
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