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t3_17gk1z | relationships | Advice on how to deal with GF[23] working as a dancer(no not that kind) | Hi /r/Relationships!
I [M/25] have been together with my GF [23] for 3 years. We have been living together for the past year and have the perfect relationship. We almost never argue and we love eachother very much.
During our relationship she has been working and practicing proffessional dancing and she is soon graduateing from a well renowned dancing academy.
She is actually one of the best in her year and she loves it. It is her dream. She does almost any style, hiphop, ballet, jazz etc.
I enjoy watching her dance and see her joy and happiness and I wouldn't want her to stop doing it. But I can't help to be jealous when she is up on stage and dancing with some guy and they dance like their inlove and they are "being sexy" with eachother. I hate it but I can take it to some degree. To think that this would happen every night for a couple of months plus rehearsal is depressing to me.
The thing that bugs me the most is that Im feeling like Im beeing humiliated(maybe not the right word). I don't know if this is what everybody would feel or if Im way too jealous.
We have discussed this on multiple occasions and she sees my point and comforts me that "it's only an act" etc. She doesn't want to take jobs that involve this but almost every dance show contain some elements of this. I just can't stand it and Im worried that this will affect our relationship in the future when she graduates and are offered jobs that are "too good to turn down" because of this.
Has anyone here had some similiar experience with a partner?
Im thankful for any advice as it causes me sometimes to worry and think too much. | Uncomfortable to see my GF dancing "sexy or flirtatious" on stage with another guy, has anyone got any tips on how to handle this? |
t3_3bv8uy | relationships | How to deal with differing perceptions of me? [25F] | I've noticed that there's a big disconnect between who i think I am and who I want to be in relationships. Like often I think of myself and think I'm coming across as this brilliant, funny, bubbly, outgoing, interesting person, with an air of mystery. But others will see a completely different person- someone who is reserved, nice but slightly boring, etc. Sometimes I think I'll be doing something helpful/nice etc. but it just isn't coming across.
This happens a lot and I guess I am just wondering why there is a disconnect. All I know is that this is preventing me from dating and friendships with pretty much everyone. I've never been popular or well liked or had people gravitate towards me. I grew up a bit shy. | Perceptions vs reality- large gap. How to fix? |
t3_3g19ob | cats | Took in a very pregnant, very skinny stray. Help? | Like the title says, my boyfriend and I just took in a new kitty. She's been hanging around our apartment building for ages and yesterday I met a neighbor who said she's been trying to get into her apartment since they moved in a year ago, so we think she was probably abandoned when the old tenants left.
She's very skinny, and VERY pregnant. My SO's family has taken in pregnant strays in the past, and he thinks she'll be ready to pop in the next few weeks. She's currently secluded in our bedroom away from our other two, with plenty of dry food and water and we made her a little bed with an old pillow and some towels in case she starts nesting.
She's one of the sweetest cats I've ever encountered, slept next to us last night, purrs constantly, and other than her weight she seems healthy- her fur is really soft and her eyes are bright and alert. We just want to help her, and eventually her kittens. What else can we do? | took in an underweight pregnant friendly stray, how can we help her before she gives birth? |
t3_14gq06 | AskReddit | What's one lie a salesman told you that bothers you till this day? | When I was a child I had the chance to visit a kiosk selling ancient Egyptian replicas and memorabilia. My family was not to far away at another kiosk looking at potential gifts to buy for friends, so I was alone. At the time I had a large obsession with ancient Egypt so I had a strong desire to buy something with all my accumulated saved money (some 20 dollars). You had small statues of different gods, papyrus paintings, The Book of the Dead, among other things. It didn't matter what I would get, so long as I left the place buying something.
A salesman noticed my interest and asked me what I was interested in. I told him something genuine if possible, though I didn't have much money. He picked up a small pyramid that had your typical Egyptian-wall painted panels and handed it to me. He told me to shake it and asked if I heard the sand locked inside the pyramid. I could hear it and asked what was so important about it. He said that the sand was actually shaved off the famous pyramids of Giza and that I was holding an actual piece of history. I gleefully handed him my money and ran off happy as a kid could be.
Naturally this couldn't be so given the actual poor quality of the item I bought and the fact that a sticker plastered on the bottom of the pyramid had "Made in Vietnam" written on it. I only discovered this when I got older and found the pyramid locked away in an old box I had.
It still bothers me today that this salesman took advantage of my youth and interest in ancient Egyptian things just to sell me something, so my question to you is what lie has a salesman told you in order to get you to buy something, whether you bought it or not? | As a child, a salesman told me that the sand locked inside a small Pyramid made in Vietnam I bought from him was sand from the real Pyramids of Egypt |
t3_1ug0tv | relationships | Me [22 F] and my (ex)boyfriend [22 M] broke up after 3 years because of distance and now moving to same city, but does not want to get back together until then. Am I being played? | My exboyfriend and I dated for 3 years before breaking it off last spring because he was moving to another city and we seemed to be in very different places in our lives. It was mutual and we periodically kept in touch throughout the summer, but nothing much.
Come fall, he would call/text all the time and begged to get back together. I told him I wasn't sure about it and needed more time. I recently decided that I wanted to be together and distance shouldn't matter, especially because I found out that I will be moving to the same city in June.
I called/texted/reached out to him to no response for a week and then finally, he returned my call and said it would be best for our relationship if we didn't start dating again until I actually moved out there, which confused me because he constantly spoke of marrying me and of us starting a family just a few weeks before. But I understood because I didn't want it to put pressure on us in the mean time.
However, I found out from a friend that my ex has been constantly on the prowl for the past week, going out every day and pursuing lots of other girls. He told me that he's just been lonely when we discussed what we'd do in the mean time and he doesn't really want to hook up with other girls.
Should I be ok with this? Am I just being played and put on the side so I can still be an option for him later? Or is it really true--the girls mean nothing and it's best for our relationship to wait before diving into things? | Broke up with SO of 3 years 8months ago and after both of us discussed getting back together as we'd be in the same city in <6 months, ex-SO reneges and thinks we should wait until then to get back together. Finds out he's been hitting up other girls. Am I being played? How should I respond? |
t3_4aclsh | Advice | I need help determining where this friendship should go. | So I have been friends with this guy, who we'll call sam, for 10 years. I used to enjoy Sam's company and tonight he was fun. Me and sam play video games alot with a group of friends, now the problem is that me and everyone in the group do not like sam. Sam was fine at first but he has many reoccurring problems one he feels very entitled often when me and another friend are playing he meesages both of us and asks us why we didn't invite him. Two he is pretty terrible at every game he plays ,now this isn't a problem but he really thinks that he is good and questions why we do not like to do competitive things with him he often trash talks our other friends when they are bad themselves but they know they aren't good. Three whenever we do things with a random person who gets matched with us he is always a major asshole to them but we don't know how to get him to stop. Four he can't do anything by himself he sits with an open window of every game all day waiting for someone to log on and instantly invites them even though they do not want to play with him "this is every day". There are many more little things he does all the time would take you a while to tell you about but I really making this post to try and figure out what to do in this situation | my friend isn't liked by my friend group and I and we do not know how to get it across. |
t3_fzg48 | AskReddit | What's the best dream you've ever had? I'll go first. | I was back home in Texas at my parents' house hanging out with two of my college buddies, when out of nowhere Tupac, Biggie, and Snoop roll in and challenge us to a fight in the baseball diamond across the street. As we're crossing the street, I convinced Snoop to be on our team in the battle, so he does this crazy reverse roundhouse maneuver and tosses us a bunch of medieval lances and spears before attacking Biggie head-on. Then shit hit the fan. A robotic grizzly bear came out of fucking nowhere and lashed out at me with these huge titanium claws, slicing my shoulder and ribcage. I tried to keep him at a distance, stabbing him over and over with a long iron lance, finally bringing him down with a few blunt force hits against the broad side of his head. As he fizzed and crackled in Terminator-esque fashion, he shrank to about the size of a loaf of bread, caught completely on fire, and climbed inside the mailbox affixed to the top of my friend Dan's head. Then Dan whipped out a huge Buck knife and tried to convince me to slice his head off, reassuring me that it would kill the robotic bear and that we would be able to sew his head on later. But I wouldn't do it. So Dan sliced his own neck, said "oh, shit", and then I woke up. | – I got in a fight with Tupac, Biggie, and a robotic bear. |
t3_3v6tps | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [19 F] of 4 months have broken up because she feels pushed away | My girlfriend left me yesterday because she feels pushed away. She feels this way because we argued so much recently over nothing, and every time we did it made her feel that little bit more pushed away. Her friends don't seem to like me, although I had a chat with one of them today and they said they don't dislike me, but my girlfriend always used to have to defend me to them because they were telling her how bad I was for her. Furthermore, I have not been attending uni which she finds unattractive as it makes me look unmotivated, and I think this is one of the main things but i'm not sure.
I love her to pieces, I am absolutely sure she is the love of my life. I don't know what to do. At the beginning of our relationship everything was perfect, she was so in love with me and I was so in love with her. She says she doesn't want to find anyone else and I believe her, and when I asked if we could be together in the future she said "if things were right" and I asked today if she meant what she said and she replied "I don't know" and she also tells me that I need to get it into my head that "this relationship is over for good".. Mixed signals or what? She ended it by text and she won't meet me, but I think this is just her coping mechanism. We will see each other in uni tomorrow, but I don't think I should speak to her. She says she wants to focus on herself and be alone, to concentrate on uni work.
She has a history of depression (and anorexia) and her family has been worried about her recently and so have I. It worries me that she says she wants to be alone as this could be it, but I asked her about it and she says she isn't feeling depressed. | Broke up due to arguing with my girl and she feels pushed away, what should I do? |
t3_1t5im3 | relationships | I [20F] am not religious and have strong feelings for my very religious close friend [20 M]. | I recently (about a month ago) discovered that I have feelings for a close college friend of mine. It turns out that he does feel the same but he does not think that perusing a relationship is worth while due to our disagreements about religion. Though I am not religious I share the moral beliefs that he does and we are very similar people who get along very well. I care about him so much and do not want to lose his as a friend. However, I also cannot pretend that I don't have feelings for him.
After multiple conversations we came to the conclusion that I want to try dating and he (partially convinced by his very conservative parents) does not think it is a good idea.
Would a relationship with him be bound for failure or is there a chance that it could work? If it could work what do I say to him to change his mind? If he did not also have feelings for me I would drop this completely the the fact that he makes it clear that he does have feeling for me are making this impossible for me to get over. | My religious friend and I (non-religious) have feelings for each other. I think we should date. He thinks it is a bad idea. What should we do? |
t3_2qajdr | relationships | [26M] My cousin [17F] is infatuated with me and is threatening to ruin my reputation if I don't date her. | I'm in a really sticky situation, and I don't know what to do.
A few years ago, my uncle filed for divorce. He immediately engaged in a lengthy court battle with his wife for the custody of their child. They were both drug addicts, so my father was able to petition CPS to take the child. It was an unhealthy family situation and my parents were eager to help her.
My parents have been taking care of my cousin for the last four years. It's been very difficult for them, but they've managed to be more responsible and I think she is better off without her old parents. During summer and winter breaks, I visit my parents and take care of my cousin. Recently, however, she has been acting strangely and yesterday I discovered something to confirm my suspicions.
Over the break I started to realize that she was acting a little strangely around me. Sometimes I would turn around, and notice that she was staring at me. She laughed at everything I said, even if it wasn't particularly funny. She also began to pay attention to my studies, even though she doesn't like academics. Previously, our relationship was, in my view, the kind that would be found between a big brother and little sister. We hung out, watched movies, and shared interests.
Yesterday, I asked her why she was acting so strange. She admitted that she had feelings for me, so I told her that I'd wait a while and think about it. I was shocked and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I ultimately decided to tell her that I did love her but not in that way. She didn't receive the news very well and she continued her advances.
I adamantly refused, and tried to ignore her. She is now threatening to say that I have been in a relationship with her for some time. I am shocked, and I don't know what to do. If she tells these lies, my reputation will be ruined, and our relationship will be over for good. | My 17 year old cousin is infatuated with me and is threatening to ruin my reputation if I don't date her. What should I do? |
t3_1ksys0 | relationships | 19F, I don't know where to start with relationships and dating. What is a date vs girlfriend, etc. | Hi Reddit,
I'm 19, female. I want to start dating, to look for a soulmate... Outside of a single relationship I had at 16 which grew organically (no "first date" involved?), I have never properly known what dating is like -- for a while I've been turning down guys because I was interested in other things (at least that is how my weak mind makes up excuses for my insecurity).
I don't understand this whole dating thing. Can someone please explain it to me?
What is the difference between "asking someone out", dating, being a girlfriend/boyfriend and engagement? When does the transition between those normally happen?
What exactly is dating..? In some movies, anime and indeed some of my friends, dudes will go and ask out a girl they've never interacted with.. At the same time, I hear it's common to already be having sex after 3, 4, 5 or 6 dates... So the transition to becoming a girlfriend/boyfriend surely has happened or is not far off?
If that is true, how is it possible to form a meaningful relationship in just a few hours? I'm really confused, because when I was younger it took much much longer, on the count of hundreds of hours... | How does dating normally start and go..? I am a noob |
t3_1c1mji | AskReddit | Reddit, what made the best teacher you ever had such a great teacher? | For me, the best teacher I ever had wasn't a school teacher, but my martial arts instructor growing up. His passion for martial arts just showed in whatever he was doing, and in addition to his obvious affinity for taekwondo he really genuinely cared about his students. I still sometimes find it hard to believe that when one of my fellow students had a really, really awful thing happen to him my instructor actually made the ultimate step in helping by adopting the student and his sister and treating them as his own children. He also gave me the opportunity to teach at his school and become somewhat of an important figure there. | This teacher had a profound impact on my life because of his real passion towards both his subject matter and his students. |
t3_uap0e | AskReddit | What is your most embarrassing public restroom story? | I'll start. I was in the restroom at my office. I work in a building that shares a restroom with several other businesses. I'm on the toilet doing my business and playing a game on my phone. I have the sound all the way down on the game so I don't draw any attention to the fact that I'm playing video games on the throne.
I get a high score and am pretty proud of myself so I decide to take a screenshot. Unfortunately my phone makes the camera shutter sound when taking a screenshot. This sound of course is not turned off and is actually pretty loud - especially since the acoustics in restrooms are not exactly designed for noise reduction.
As the shutter sound fires, I hear "What the..." in the next stall. I hid in the restroom until I was sure everybody was out and snuck back to my desk. I'm not sure who was in there with my, It may have been any number of guys that I work with or people from the other office. All I know is that there were no less than three people in that restroom when I was apparently taking pictures of my junk or worse. | People I work with may or may not think I'm a pervert who takes pictures of my junk |
t3_13mhbb | AskReddit | I just though of a douche thing I did a few years back, What is yours reddit? | During the last years of high school I had a gf and she used to come over a lot. One time she came over and a mutual friend did as well. After a while, she asked me if I could come follow her into my room meanwhile my friend stayed in the next room. She proceeds to close the door and we end up having sex. While my friend is sitting next door and i am fairly sure he could hear the whole thing. Oh and it was during the day about 3 o'clock and my parents where home as well. About half way done my mom knocked on the door and asked what was going on and why my friend was alone in one room and me and my gf at the time in the other.
So what is your douche thing you did reddit? | Had sex with gf while friend was in the next room and my parents where home as well. |
t3_13cn72 | relationship_advice | [30/m] My girlfriend (31/f) wants more time than I have to give. | We just passed the one year mark.
I'm working 60 hour weeks to save up enough that I can buy a ring and a house and get a family started before her baby-maker isn't up to making babies.
This week, I took a day and a half off work for basically stress leave. And she didn't notice. She treated it like a great opportunity to spend more time together and get chores done.
I work in a position where my hours are flexible and my goals are all long-term. If I miss a day of work, the world doesn't end, but the work piles up. I'm two months behind on some deadlines.
She keeps telling me, "You need to stop worrying about what's coming up, and spend more time just getting to things one at a time. Focus on what's in front of you."
Which is great textbook advice, but doesn't help me get back on track if new things keep coming at me and old things keep piling up. I don't think she understands that I need about five extra days of solid work and recovery time--without her--and I'm afraid that I could jeopardize our relationship if I ask her for that in the wrong way.
Can anyone help me figure out how to approach this problem? I want to ask for time to do my job without it coming across as "Baby, I think we need to take some time apart." | Girlfriend loves me. Likes to spend time with me. I need some of that time back. How do I ask for it? |
t3_1z23t3 | relationships | Me [20 f] with my ___ [18 m], not sure if I'm being overly sensitive? | I've been talking to this guy for a little while now and we seem to really click. Neither one of us are entirely sure what we want, but we did decide that while we figure things out that we want to be "exclusive".
When we're together, things are awesome, but we both lead really busy lives. He isn't really the type to want to communicate frequently, and doesn't seem to make an effort to see me as much as I do to see him. I straight up asked him what his feelings were for me, and he said that he is really into me, but he just isn't the best at showing his emotions.
Am I being too sensitive when I expect him to make more of an effort to spend time with me? I feel like when you really like someone, your feelings tend to be obvious in your actions. Am I wrong in assuming this is the way it should be? Should I believe him when he says that he is wants to be with me, or should I just call it quits and move on? | Guy says he is really into me, his actions seem to prove otherwise, which do I believe? |
t3_40utka | relationships | Me [50 F] with my _boyfriend [52 M] 13 months, tells me he will not mention me on FB. WTF? -description | I feel ridiculous even being bothered by this. But I am. I'm not one to post a relationship all over FB but finally after 11 months of dating I did add a picture with my BF from a trip we went on saying great trip and thanks. No response from him. A month later I mentioned it and his very quick response was 'Well at least I did not untag myself'. Really? Then this past weekend he tells me that I can tag him but he will not tag or mention me in posts. WTF?? He is NOT a private guy. He posts frequently. Mostly pictures of his kids but also political rants, and pictures of the good old days with friends, and checks into places (omitting my name) He is not real social these days (busy with kids and me mostly) so he would not have much opportunity to post pics out with friends. I wish I could just let this go but that's not happening and I need a sanity check. When I asked him about it he once said he doesn't think to tag me... or that FB is really justfor posting pics of his kids. Sounds like BS to me. If he just doesn't think about it he would not announce that he would not mention me.
So I have to conclude for myself why he omits me...
* He wants to remain single on FB...
* He wants to remain married on FB... (divorced 2 years ago... not his choice. many happy family pics on his FB. Christmas card always from JUST the kids. Not dad and the kids... Seems odd)
* He thinks he could do better.
In general he is very sweet, treats me well, says he loves me etc... | Am I being psycho letting this bother me?? Good God. I feel like a 12 year old... |
t3_frq1h | AskReddit | Can someone explain the concept of COLLEGE to me? | I'm nearing my final year in a top recruited school in the country with a degree that was voted highest in demand in 2010. IMHO, most of the things I've learned I could have found via the internet and taught myself (which is ironic because most of college is teaching yourself). I'm spending tens of thousands of dollars a year to obtain a B.S. degree and will be in debt due to student loans after I graduate. I guess my point is, what separates those that have a degree in college with those who are self taught with no education past high school?
I understand employees recognize people with degrees more but this is another one of my points - all I will be doing for the rest of my life is working and for the first several years of my life to pay back those loans and another kicker is no one *guaranteed* me a job coming out of college. Most employees want people with experience and I will have none coming out of college besides and internship. I will end up spending years of my life paying back for the education I've received while working. After I'm out of debt, I will continue to work most likely for the remaining part of my life (because everyone knows I will never see a cent of Social Security money). So how do you justify going to college? | Please explain why *college* is the right choice. |
t3_4vjr6f | relationships | Me [30 M] with my fiance [30 F Carly] 6 years, Open relationship for 3 years; I am starting not to like the situation | About 3 years ago Carly suggested being in an open relationship. Though, I had a few reservations I agreed to it because I'm pretty open minded and am not really a controlling person. Carly is all around a great woman. She is very intelligent, funny, and also beautiful. So she didn't really have any problems finding other partners. I've always been more of an introvert and prefer quietly reading a book to a bar full of people. It did take me a little bit longer, but I do have a woman with whom I have a fwb relationship. This situation has worked pretty well until recently.
-
A business that I started years ago has finally started to take off and I have become quite wealthy as a result and have received several offers to purchase it. It took me a lot of time and hard work to build this business. This has resulted in this sort of creeping resentment I have developed towards Carly. I feel like when I was working hard building something for our future she was out with other guys. I spoke with my brother about how I feel and he essentially told me that I can do better than Carly due to how successful I have become. To be frank I cannot help but agree with him. Carly is a great girl, but she has noticed that I am acting a little bit more cooly towards her as of late. I just feel like she can smell the resentment oozing from me. How should I best address this situation? Should we try couples counseling, closing the relationship, or just ending things? Advice from people who are in/have been in open relationships would especially be appreciated. | I am resentful towards my fiance in regards to our open relationship due to my newly found success |
t3_299g0r | relationships | I'm (29m) afraid that I may end up on the outside of my open relationship | My wife(29f) and I(29m) have been in an open relationship for a while now. She is my best friend, and I hers. We have 2 kids together.
She has been with a few people since we first decided to classify our relationship as open. I do not have a problem with her being with other people, in fact it is exciting. I have not really taken advantage of the situation and dated anyone (severe social anxiety).
Recently she reconnected with someone she had a crush on in high school. They have been on a few dates and it is going very well. He is a really great guy and he really cares about her.
I am growing worried that their relationship may be headed towards a monogamous relationship. I don't know if he fully understands my relationship to her and is looking for a closed relationship.
I am not a bad guy, but I will admit that he may be a better catch. I know if that happens we will still be good friends and a family, but it hurts to think that there is the chance I may never be with her again.
I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel about this potential outcome, and wondered if anyone had any insight. | my wife is dating a great guy that I am worried will become a monogamous relationship that excludes me. |
t3_3nb7fd | relationship_advice | Help I can't stand it when he falls asleep! | Me and my boyfriend (26), and myself (f, 27) share an office space where do anything and everything not sleeping, bathing or eating. It's really nice to be in the same room together because we have a lot of diverse hobbies and are busy college students. Thing is my boyfriend has the habit of falling asleep in his chair. I don't mind when he is just napping. Or if it's accidental. The issue is that I will wake him up and let him know he has fallen asleep in the office and he gets irritated, and just wants to be left alone. He'll sleep all day, or never go to bed, if I never say anything, and then gets upset about lost time, or back/neck pain. Nothing I do, or say convinces him to do anything but sit their and sleep. And it's makes me frustrated and mad. I feel like he's hurting himself and damaging his quality of life, and I can't just let it go. I feel stupid that something like this is getting in the way of my love for him, but I feel terribly resentful, and that he doesn't care about how his actions make me feel, nor the damage he doing to himself allowing this issue to persist. Just talking about it has me irritated all over again. It's just been an ongoing issue and when I try to talk about it it goes no where and all the blame is on me for being irritated about it, despite how he talks to me when I remind him he needs to get up early ect..
What can I do? I'm sure I am in the wrong. But I just cannot let go of the feeling that he's hurting himself with this behavior. :( | My boyfriend falls asleep at his desk, and won't go to sleep properly, which is driving me insane. ヽ(o`皿′o)ノ |
t3_1qeqi2 | relationship_advice | I [17/m] am thinking about ending it between me and her [16/f]. I don't want to, but I feel like it needs to be done. | So we had a very complicated relationship. We never officially started dating but we were very close (definitely a "thing"). It started in the beginning of August and went good until the end of September when she [16/f] decided that she needed space (due to her previous abusive relationship and family issues). So she ended it (what I thought was permanently) until about halfway through October when we started talking again and she felt better about everything. I was scared to go back into it again and was worried about losing her but we kept talking and things seemed to be going well (still not dating but she wanted to be a "thing" again).
That is until a couple of days ago. She told one of my closer friends that she wanted to have a more relaxed relationship where we didn't have to hang out at school (never did but i asked her about it the day before) and thought I was texting her too often. I didn't text her that day and thought i'd let her text me when she wanted, but she never did. The next day (three days ago) we texted briefly and she went to bed but we haven't talked much at all since.
So i don't feel like she even likes me anymore. She hardly acknowledges me at school and never texts me otherwise. I still like her but i fell like she'd rather not be tied down, do i end it now or try to fix things? | we (me [17/m], her [16/f]) never started dating but we were very close. had a break in the middle but are back to where things were before. now she barely acknowledges me and never texts me, so im thinking about ending it. |
t3_17qov7 | tifu | TIFU by laughing at a classmate talking about how his father tried to kill himself. | So a little back story, this kid has some mental illnesses, part of it has to do with filtering things in social situations. When we were learning about good study skills, he was asked where he gets his homework done. He responds saying something like,
"Oh, I do it everywhere! Sometimes I'll do it in the kitchen, sometimes at my desk, even sometimes on my bed!"
At this point I am on the verge of laughing at how that would've sounded out of context. I was focused on how to stop giggling to stop from getting in trouble, as apparently I was the only one who found that funny.
Somehow this conversation turns into him talking about his father tried to kill himself last weej. And it was at that point my brain decided that was the time to release all of my laughter, in one big 30 second fit. There I was, barely able to breathe, kids staring at me in disgust. I was sent to the principal's office and I told my story, which he wasn't amused by, nor did he believe. | I laughed in a kids face about how his father had tried to kill himself now I feel like shit. |
t3_2o1u1q | relationships | How do I [25M] salvage a dumb mistake, on my part, with her [24F]? | Group of girls we haven't seen in like a year came over for a decent size party at a friend's house. Since then, I have gotten a job and started dressing a lot better (still haven't lost weight, but working on it). I never thought any of these girls would ever be into me. At one point 3 of them were playing with my hair as they thought it was "really soft." One asked for my snapchat so I gave it to her. Another was talking to me and mentioned that she never hears from me because she doesn't have my cell phone or my snapchat... and for some reason, I just kind of said "ok" and didn't give her any of my info. Yeah, I'm not a smart man when it comes to girls. Didn't realize what I did until I was driving home. How do I give her my number without seeming like a complete moron. Keep in my mind, I won't see her in person until around christmas. | Girl basically asks for my number, I completely drop the ball and don't deliver. How do I recover? |
t3_2tatpm | loseit | [NSV] I enjoy some home made pizza. | M/SW271/CW245/GW195
Last Friday, my wife made pizzas for dinner. I had three slices, making it the highest calorie meal I've had since my lifestyle reset back in October. It was ~900 calories. I felt a tiny twinge of guilt as I entered the meal into MFP, but I still hit my calorie goal for the day.
So why am I considering this a victory? Well, I actually enjoyed the meal. It was bursting with flavor, the textures were delightful and it completely satisfied my appetite. It was actually a treat. In fact, it felt down right decadent.
In the past, I would have eaten twice as many slices twice as fast and I wouldn't have enjoyed it half as much. I would have inhaled it and then sat around feeling uncomfortably full. A few hours later I would have had a taste for more junk food.
On top of that, eating healthier meals has reset my expectations. A grape is now incredibly sweet. A slice of cheese is a wonderful little snack. | Counting calories has had the wonderful side effect of making food more enjoyable for me. |
t3_ofpc2 | AskReddit | Should I complete nursing school? Any redditors who are nurses or work in the healthcare field care to share their experiences? | I don't really know what I'm looking to gain by posting this, I just needed to vent a little to the Internet and thought I'd see what reddit has to say.
I am 26 years old, male, in my last semester of nursing school (associates degree not bachelors), for the second time. I failed the final semester a year ago by 8 points. I originally joined the nursing program on a whim, because I dropped out of art school, had debts, and needed a degree that guaranteed me a job. I somehow had all the prerequisites to join the program, so I applied and I got in. I did not have a previous interest in either nursing, science or the healthcare field in general.
I've never really liked the clinical portion of school. I enjoyed the classroom sections and I found the subjects we studied interesting and worthwhile to know. Everyday for the clinical portion though, I would be miserably nervous and get massive anxiety. I would dread going to the clinicals all week. and I would leave clinicals every week with a massive headache, that I can only imagine is just from nerves and stress. I'm dreading school again this semester as well.
So my | And my question to Reddit I suppose is, will working as a nurse be as stressful as clinicals? I get discouraged that this is something I want to do when the actual hands on, practical application, clinical portion of my schooling makes me so miserable. But is this something I'll get used to? How do I know if nursing is something i will enjoy or at least be able to tolerate doing? I'm in debt, and my current job has no future prospects and I can't really make ends meet with the money I'm currently making. So I would like the money that a nursing job provides, but I don't want to be doing something simply for the money, even though that's somewhat the only reason I want to become a nurse. I just don't know what to do, but my gut is telling me to suck it up, finish the program and man up and get a nursing job (haha). Reddit?!?! |
t3_2j8a6j | loseit | Newly living by myself - troubles having accountability for sticking to my fitness. | Hi all,
This is a bit of an unexpected problem for me and I'm not sure how to correct myself.
I started working out and calorie counting last September. I had an immensely successful year and enjoyed being healthier and working out, seeing the progress month by month. Throughout the entire year, I lived with my boyfriend. He motivated me on bad days, we both had fun cooking healthier meals and I couldn't make excuses. I didn't have a problem sticking to my calories and going to the gym at least 3x a week either.
During the summer we moved, and he now lives about 100km away from me, so now I'm on my own. During the summer I just wanted to enjoy myself, kept working out but ate at maintenance calories so my weight fluctuated 1-2kg up and down. I had no problem with that.
Now since September I'm living on my own and I've put on 3-4kg. I find myself making excuses not to go to the gym and it is SO difficult for me not to live by 'I'll start tomorrow'. I try calorie counting like I did the whole of last year but then I end up getting the munchies no matter how much water I drink and if I've had nice, rounded wholesome meals. And I give in. I'll talk to a friend who'll casually say "I had McDonald's for lunch" and then the thought of a burger from there will haunt me until I actually get it. I never used to be like this.
I don't know how to get my fitness mojo back and I don't know how to hold myself accountable for this self-sabotage I'm doing. I still have at least 10kg to lose and it seems like it will never happen.
Guys, what do you do when you've lost your motivation and find yourself making excuses? Please help me out here!
[In case anyone is interested: F/21/15kg down] | Lost fitness mojo, making excuses to myself and 'tomorrow I'll be better' which never happens. How do I get out of this? |
t3_1l4uz9 | relationships | What should I do? | Ok so here is the situation, I (f24) have been with my finance (m25) for 7 years. During that time we have kissed other people and had consensual threesomes. The ffm threesome was great, we communicated really well afterwards.
Over the years I tend to drink too much and kiss other people. I have always been honest with my fiancé about it and he has always been really supportive and forgiving about it. Since we got engaged he is the one who is straying and taking it really far.
He had sex with a friend of ours a few months ago after I made out with her, he got a blowjob from a stripper at a bachelor party last year, and this weekend I walked into him getting a blowjob from my best friend. She is the one we had a threesome with, so that's probably why they didnt think it was a big deal- but I was really shocked. We usually agree on that stuff together.
He is always trying to get me to explore my sexuality and I really do try- but I feel like I am not enough most the time, and after this weekend I feel even worse. An I overreacting or am I about to marry someone I can't trust? Thanks. | my fiancé is screwing around and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1w5jvu | relationships | She (F18) says she doesn't know much about me (M19) what can I do to work on this? | We've been friends for a while but she still feels like she knows nothing about me. In a way I understand this because I've always been a rather reserved person and not very good with talking about myself.
However, I've told her to feel free to ask me things whenever she wants yet she rarely does claiming she doesn't know what to ask and she just wants to know everything. She also mentioned being a bit embarrassed about asking about things I might not like (hobbies, interests, etc. I'm assuming due to context)
Any advice on how to make her feel more at ease with asking me questions. Also, how can I improve on talking about myself and letting people get to know me better without waiting for them to ask? What sort of things constitute "everything". | GF says she doesn't know much about me, won't ask questions/feels embarrassed to ask. I'm not sure how to work on this. |
t3_25zi9y | relationships | How do I [25 F] get my hookup [26 M] to be less selfish in bed? | Just got out of a relationship. Hooking up with a friend. Sex was awkward, then amazing, now just meh. He's averagely endowed and used to be more attentive. Lately, he just isn't that into it. He pops off, then just wants to go to sleep. He says he'll need like 30 minutes, but then says he wants to just sleep, that he won't be able to get it up again at all (used to do multiple). When I offer to help (blow job), he says it just won't work.
I'll ask can we try in the morning. I get a reserved yes. Wakes up, plays games, says sorry I'm not in the mood. I ask if we can try foreplay. He just says it won't work. I've never orgasmed during sex, although I've come close. I would at least like to feel good. Last time it was over pretty quickly, missionary. He seemed to be having a good time, which I care about and tried to ensure, but then it was over...like what about me? It's great that he says being inside me feels amazing and I move well, but can you maybe not come so quickly? I know he probably can't help it sometimes, but every time? He's 26. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I have broached the topic head-on and am at my wit's end. He says that there's nothing he can do about lasting longer or getting it up.
What can I do to make the sex hotter and longer? I'm not really into the hookup scene, so rotating partners is out for now. | The sex is no longer hot with this guy, but I'd like for it to be again. It would be great if he could expend minimal effort. Advice appreciated. |
t3_4156m2 | dating_advice | Why won't he make it official between us after 4 months? [22/m] [24/f] | He makes a point of seeing me several times a week.
He takes me out about once a week.
We sleep in the same bed and cuddle without having sex sometimes.
Sometimes he buys me me clothes and cooks for me.
He has made it clear we are exclusive and gets jealous sometimes.
He calls me and/or texts me all day and sends me a 'good morning' and a 'good night' text just about everyday.
He always listens to my problems and tries to help me.
He acts like a best friend and a lover in one.
However, he also rarely makes plans in advance unless it's a special occasion and when his parents were in town, he didn't introduce me to them.
and
He even said we are basically together yet he won't just say we are together and make it official even though we have progressed alot emotionally over these last 4 months, why? | Why would he act like my boyfriend for four months but not make it official? |
t3_2y740h | relationships | How can I [19M] tell my mum [45F] that I am agnostic | Been raised Baptist my went to college and stayed away while learning for myself and stopped going to church and reading more into science and developing my own opinions. And decided church wasn't for me. I come back home and she asked me why i don't go church anymore. I told her my reasons and she just flips out saying things like I'm just gonna be a heathen and go to gel. I try to rationally explain my choices and she acts like I killed my sister. Idk what to do. I'm saving up to move out but can't afford to leave right now. | I'm agnostic. my mum thinks that if I don't go to church and believe in God then I'm worse than Hitler |
t3_1vkwva | relationships | Me [19 M] being threatened by my SO [18 F] (11months) uncle [40+ M] | **Background**: My SO and I have been dating for 11 months. Everything is great. Everyone in her family loves me. Except her uncle.
Her uncle makes me seriously uncomfortable. Lets just put it at he's 40 and probably weighs at least 170-180lb. I'm 19 and weigh at 145-147lb. Of course looking at it I'm not as big as he is. Now I'm considerately new to her family, but at the same time not brand new.
Her cousins (22F) SO (21 M) is maybe about a year into their relationship. Here's the difference he's in the military. He's bigger than me he's probably about 180-190lb. Yet he doesn't get threatened because her uncle knows he's more than capable to fight back because he's in the marines while her uncle was in the air force. On another note I'm great friends with him. I respect what he does for our country and I really like him. He's a good guy.
He makes me awfully uncomfortable. He's threatened multiple times to kill me or hurt me if I treat my gf wrong. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to hurt her in anyway or cheat on her. Though its uncomfortable to be around him in general. The first time he threatened me he dropped me off at my house so he knows where I live. What should I do? There's no real proof he said it to me, but what can I do?
He also threatened me again saying "do you believe me?" when me and my girlfriend were just dancing with her cousins being funny having a good laugh when her smaller cousin decides to go rat us out. He's known for ratting people out for stupid shit but his parents (YES that uncle that threatens me) believe every word he says. | Threatened by my SO uncle multiple times only because I'm clearly out matched. I can't do anything about it. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and her uncle has a snitching son who isn't gonna help at all. |
t3_1t95ey | Advice | Younger adult sister that still lives at mom's home has a bad temper... advice? | Hey r/Advice.
I'm (older 20's) kinda at wits end with my adult sister (younger 20's). She's had a pretty bad year so far. She walked out on two separate jobs, got into a car accident, and has become increasingly more violent and emotionally abusive to my mother. I came home for Christmas and found a really nice painting over a wall that wasn't there the last time I was here. Curious, I looked behind the painting and found a giant hole in the wall, most likely from my sister during one of her temper tantrums. There are also numerous holes in her bedroom door.
Now, I don't really have the best relationship with my sister. She feels like I'm the perfect child, I guess, and that my mom favors me. Of course, I'm far from perfect and the idea that my mom favors me is ridiculous. To make things more complicated, I have a hard time talking to my sister because she makes me very anxious, I never know when she might blow up or take offense to something I say. The last we spoke was the most recent summer, she yelled at me for talking to my mom about her and I had a panic attack.
She constantly yells at my mom whenever she doesn't get her way and gets these really explosive tantrums, slams doors, punches walls, and calls my mom a bitch. It leaves my mom feeling helpless and in tears. My mom won't talk to me about the problems anymore because of the fear of my sister.
I do care very much about my sister and I'm hurt to see my family like this. I think my sister should seek professional counseling but I don't know how to encourage her to do it. I fear she would explode in anger at the very idea of it. I just want my family to be back to normal. I'm tired of hearing the frustration, sadness, and helplessness in my mother's voice. And I'm tired of my sister acting the way she is. I understand that everyone has reasons for acting the way they do, I just wish she had a healthier way of expressing her anger. | My adult sister has temper tantrums and is emotionally abusive to my mom. |
t3_vq29d | tifu | TIFU: Family caught me crossdressing | So to start off with, I'm staying with my aunt and uncle for the summer before I go back to college. They live in a small town in south western Virginia, and are an old southern style conservative couple.
Last night I curled up in bed in my favorite pair of panties after some vodka shots and passed out. This morning my aunt walked in to wake me up and saw my pantie clad self draped across the bed. When she woke me up she demanded to know what I was doing wearing girls underwear, and I panicked, so I told her I had a girl over last night and she must have put them on me as a prank when I passed out (horrible lie I know, but I was panicking). My uncle burned my favorite pair of panties :( and now I'm grounded for having sex before getting married.
On Sunday they're taking me to church to talk to the pastor about the sin of pre-marital sex. I'm scared of being ostracized by them, or them telling the rest of my family I'm a sinner. I'm so embarrassed they caught me, and I lost my favorite lacy panties :'(, *and* I'm being taken to church to confront my "sins". | Got drunk/passed out while crossdressing, got caught by my conservative aunt, being taken to church on Sunday. |
t3_4d2rge | tifu | TIFU by hooking up with my friends sister.. | Well, this was 2 days ago. I didn't plan to actually do anything that night. It was a normal night, go to the gym. Go see my friends and shut the night down till tomorrow. Well went and saw my friends and they were having a party. The party was the last time we could all party at the house since they're getting evicted.
So I didn't think she liked me at all, it was like wow I'm still kinda in shock. Well we go out back to smoke some weed and then I see some people creeping around the fence. First fuckup. Got caught already.
Well I said fuck it, they're gonna find out anyways. I was thinking, lets just take a cab back to my place and nothing bad will happen. Well, the night keeps going and it's going great. We're hitting it off perfectly it was really cute. We head back to her house (the big fuckup) and we start laying in bed just doing normal shit making out cuddling.
Then 10minutes later, I was in my boxers and I see phone lights through the window. My "friends" all came around to her window and they all found out. Her brother barged into the room told me to leave, so I did. I told him I'd fuck him up if he touchs me when im in my boxers give a man a chance. So I leave the room and all I hear is a smash! He broke her TV, So I leave. Quickly. As I'm leaving I hear yelling screaming everything. He gets super mad and threw a plant pot through the windshield of his car, she runs out and punchs him in the face and its a fucking rampage. Mulitple cars were vandilised.
He said sorry to me and told me to not use her, I wasn't planning on it. Im still in shock that she actually wanted to touch me | Fucked my friends sister and took her back to her house and got caught by her brother and he freaked out while drunk as fuck and smashed a bunch of shit. |
t3_2sr3al | relationships | I [21 M] am wondering how I can make my gf [20 M/F] happier, and help work on some of her problems | Hey guys,
Throwaway here, just in case but this is a tough question that I need some perspective on.
My girlfriend has some daddy issues, like her father died when she was in a young teen and had problems with drugs and alcohol beforehand. I don't know the whole extent of the problems that she faced, but I want to be there for her as much as possible and do my best to help her be happy.
Has anyone else here run into this sort of situation? Do the problems associated with this sort of traumatic young life event never get better? I love this girl so much, is there anything I can do to help? How can I be there for her better?
Thanks! Let me know if any of you have specific questions. | girlfriend has daddy issues, what can I do to be there for her, and do the symptoms of these problems ever diminish? |
t3_olgqd | AskReddit | What's the worst prank you've played on your bf/gf, or had played on you? | I'll start. I had just woken up at my now husband's place (yep, still married him lol), and was wrapped in a blanket checking my Facebook (no clothes on). He had asked me if I could get him some breakfast, and I had said "yep, just give me a minute" relatively sweetly...
He then gets super pissed, starts yelling that he'll go buy his own damn breakfast and storms out, slamming the door behind him.
I was in shock. We'd never fought before, and this was his place (not mine).
I got up and shuffled out into the living room in a bit of a panic, calling after him, and couldn't find him so I quickly proceeded for the door thinking I would catch him waiting to get downstairs (it was an apartment).
The next thing I know the door is slamming shut with me in nothing but a blanket on the other side. The closet was right beside the front door and he had planned this whole thing and hidden in there just to see if he could get me outside the apartment still naked. (Stupid me)
What's the worst prank you've pulled on your significant other, or had pulled on you? | My boyfriend locked me out of the apartment naked as a prank. What's the worst prank you've pulled/vice versa on your significant other? |
t3_3zdpls | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [15 M] of 7 mo., losing attraction | Hi reddit, this is my first relationship and I'm not sure if my feelings are normal. If they are, I'm not sure how to proceed with it.
A bit of background. We are both high school students. I am a high school senior and he is a junior (let's call him "Jake").
Jake and I talked about two months before we became "official." During that time, I was very much attracted to him. We have a lot of similar interests in school and activities. When I told him I liked him and he told me he felt the same, there were sparks flying.
However, fast forward seven months and I don't feel that way anymore. Just to be clear, we don't have a physical relationship and do not plan to for a looong while. It's just... I don't feel attracted anymore. I feel like I still consciously like him. Jake's funny and smart and there's nothing to hate about him. It's just that my guts are telling me to break up with him.
So my question is, how do I proceed with this? Is it normal to feel this way? If I do break up with Jake, I feel it would be so baseless.
Thank you in advance for your advice! | Don't feel attracted to boyfriend. Any advice? |
t3_3ncsjg | relationships | What would you make of this situation? My [27M] GF [28F] looking into her ex-fling | Timeline of events.
**[2013-2014]** She met the guy, a hot doctor (HD for short). Went out with him on and off for a few months
**[Nov-2014]** I met my gf, we started dating.
**[Jan-2015]** She tells her friends HD tried to contact her to go out, but wasn't explicit on what she replied.
**[Sept-2015]** She look HD up on google & facebook.
****
Alright, the reason I know all of that is, her friend told my friend who told me. I accidentally stumbled on her search history while looking for a video I saw and ended up finding more than I planned for.
Suddenly everything connected, she still has his number on her cell phone, and I know that because I remembered that name and remember glancing it there.
I feel pretty shitty, like I can't even think straight. I was going to see a movie with her today, but I don't think I'll be able to focus. I'll cancel it and just see her.
Should I say something or should I ignore this overwhelming and unfounded feeling of betrayal?
Before you say it, I was never insecure with her, always blindly trusted her. Even though she's extremely jealous of me (sometimes even crazy jealous). However, after seeing that, I feel threatened.
What would you do in my situation? | GF Looking into a past fling. Makes me feel a little threatened. What would you do? |
t3_iab0w | AskReddit | Why to people that shop at Wholefoods smell so bad? | Ok, so I started going into Wholefoods because one opened near me and they have a pretty damn good menu in the Wholefoods cafe. Over the past few weeks I have noticed that people shopping here do not practice proper hygene. I have encountered some rank clouds of BO, the kind of smell you get when you pass a homeless person kind of BO. Until this experience in Wholefoods the only other place I have seen these types is at the Apple Store or at the Comic Con or E3. Is it that hard to hop in the shower a few times a week and use some fucking antiperspirent? | Why do people that shop at Wholefoods not practice proper hygene and leave a horrid cloud of BO in their wake? |
t3_4vr8l8 | relationships | I (30F) am going through a lot of life changes right now and I'm not sure what to do about my bf (33M) of a year. | This might be a 'personal issue' more than a relationship issue, but I'd appreciate it if you guys could talk me through this.
I recently learned that I have to relocate for my job. They are transferring me and there is little I can do about it. I'm scheduled to move in a week. We will he living almost 4 hours apart after this move.
My boyfriend is great but lately I have been experiencing extreme anxiety over the relationship and everything else that is going on. Moving, new job assignment in a field that is already high-stress, and not knowing anyone where I am moving to. This alone is a lot for me to handle.
As I'm stressed, I've been feeling very detached from everything, including him. I've been having panic attacks, about 4 a week, for the past 2 months. I can't see us working out, as he is firmly rooted where he is (house, job, family) and I'm going in a completely different direction. I love him, but it's like my mind is erasing him or something already while he's still here with me. I feel extremely distant. It's very hard for me to articulate exactly how I'm feeling. But it isn't good.
Part of me wants to break it off before it gets to be too much. I'm already operating on my last nerve and I can't take the panic attacks. I feel like I just want to be alone but I also love him and I can't tell if I'm just handling the stress poorly. Regardless, I can't picture us together in the long term based on our diverging paths.
What do I do? Do I stick with it and see if it's just the stress making me feel weird? Or do I end it now before this situation gets any worse? I feel so guilty and horrible all the time. He's supposed to help me move but knowing how I feel, I can't help but feel like I'm using him or something. This is adding additional grief. | I'm going through very stressful life changes right now. I'm experiencing panic attacks and uncertainty about my relationship. Should I wait it out or end it and hope it is the right choice for both of us? |
t3_luvnr | AskReddit | Going to visit a friend who attends a big party school next weekend for his birthday. I don't party. What can I do to make things less awkward? | My friend and I are both sophomores in college. He goes to Penn State which is quite the party school. Over the past year and a half he has been bugging me to go visit him because he came and visited me twice already. I grudgingly managed to find some time to meet up with him this upcoming weekend. I booked the train tickets about a month in advance and only now did I realize that the weekend I'm visiting him will land on his birthday... The issue at hand is that I don't party. I went to a party once and it was just awkward... I'm certain that we'll be going out to a party and I don't want to be that guy who screws up everything so I'll go out just go out to tag along. I choose not to drink (not a big fan of the taste) and I'm not that social. What can/should I do? | Will probably be attending a college party next weekend, but I don't exactly like to party. What can/should I do? |
t3_2ghkjk | relationships | Me [22/f] not sure if I should end things with my bf [24/m] of almost two years. | Lately I've [22/f] been in two minds about my relationship with my boyfriend [24/m] who I've been with for almost two years. Sometimes I wish I could break away from him, and then other times I can't believe I've been having those thoughts. He's my best friend after all, so do I really want to cut him out completely?
He is my first boyfriend and my first everything. He is highly emotional, and unfortunately very clingy and needy. I'm the opposite in many ways. I've recently returned to college and he has expressed numerous times that he's insecure about me being far away. I should also add that he has jealous tendencies regarding my new friends, and often sends numerous texts if I haven't looked at my phone along the lines of "Having too much fun? :)" "You must be really busy. :)" He knows my course is extremely intense and time consuming. I won't be free during most weekends and I dread telling him he can't come to see me because of my workload. I know he'll cry a lot.
The good: He's sweet, cares about me a lot, we have a lot of fun and laughs together. But I think he loves me more than I love him.
I just don't know what to do. I don't even know how to break up with someone. He's always been paranoid about us breaking up and has told me how sad it'd make him etc etc. I don't know if I have it in me. | I'm not sure if I want to continue this relationship... especially with the two year mark approaching. I'll be really sad to lose my best friend, but I find myself constantly bothered and irritated by his neediness. We've spoken about all of these issues numerous times, but he doesn't know I'm having these thoughts. Any advice? |
t3_2jf758 | relationships | my[27m] gf[28f] wants to move from NJ to SC but i live and work in NYC. | we have been dating for 9 months and i love her dearly .
she wants to move to SC because that is where her parents are. my parents live in nj. i live and work in nyc. i have an entry level job in major network news . a job a lot of people would kill for, not the best pay, but a foot in the door.
she works as a nanny in NJ and wants to move because she feel that if she lives up here she she won't look for a job since she makes enough to get by and her job is easy. on top of that she hates nyc.
i am no NYC advocate, but i work in TV so it is the biggest market and i have a good job.
she doesn't have any laid out plans to go anywhere, but she is confident in saying it is going to happen. i can't just up and go. i would consider moving by a city somewhere possibly, but only if i had a job lined up. i don't make nearly enough to save up money, move, and live off my saving till i find a job. that would take me years, and b y that time i would probably have a more established career here in NYC.
i just don't know what to do. i love this girl to death, we have a great time together i don't want to lose her, but i don't think moving is a good idea at this point in my career, i don;t want to grow to resent her, and she is unhappy living here.
thanks for any advice. | my gf wants to move far away to live closer to her parents and to start a new life. my family lives here. i also have a great job here. |
t3_248gw3 | relationships | How can I [27M] tell if my girlfriend [33F] is ready to hear "I love you"? | We've only been together about two months, but I think I already know. I'm okay if she's not ready to say it back yet, but I feel like I have to say something. I keep biting my tongue so as not to just blurt it out at random moments, like when we're just cuddling watching South Park. It seems like we've gotten very close and comfortable with each other already. We're together more often than not in our free time, and we've spent almost every night together for the past month.
I really don't want to fuck things up. I've scared women off by falling too fast before, but she's the first one I've felt the urge to say those words to so soon. She's said a lot about how glad she is to have me, and things like "I love [thing about you]", so I don't know if maybe she's feeling it too, and is just afraid to say it first? I don't want to make her feel weird or bad if she's not there yet though. And if I can't be sure she's ready, is "I *think* I love you"... better? Worse? | Think I'm ready to tell 2-month girlfriend I love her. Don't want to freak her out if she's not ready for that. |
t3_2dkjcy | relationships | Ex keeps texting even three years after break up. How do I make him stop, reddit? | I (f/28) broke up with my ex (m/31) three or four years ago. We had been together for roughly three years. We tried remaining friends, but that didn't work because he repeatedly would try to get back together. When I met my current partner and told my ex, we ceased all contact (after an ugly tirade from his side). A year later he started texting me and has been sending texts every few months ever since. Essence of the texts: He misses me and is so sorry about how he treated me during the relationship.
In the beginning I would answer these texts, saying that I am happy with my new partner and am not looking to relaunch our friendship, but wish him the best of luck. He took this as encouragement.
For the past six months or so I've not answered any of his texts. Today came a new one, showing he's still not gotten the message.
I don't want to be cruel. But what should I do? Block him on whatsapp/facebook (we're not fb friends)? Reach out with a stop-this-once-and-for-all statement?
What would you advise? | My ex boyfriend keeps texting me years after our break up. I don't want to be cruel, but how can I make him stop? |
t3_35zm34 | relationships | Me [33M] with my best friend [33M]. He just got dumped by his SO [30'sF] of 9 years. How do I help him? | My friend Walt was dumped by his GF. They were together almost 9 years and lived together for almost 7. I want to really help him move on but I don't know how. This girl is the only relationship he's had.
He is your typical MMO-playing, miniature painting nerd. He likes medieval swords. He really holds women on a pedestal. He has this belief right now that it is up to him to protect her and be there for her. Even though she left him. He has this really archaic/chivalrous outlook when it comes to stuff this like.
We've been best friends since grade school, and I've never seen him go through anything like this before. Usually it's him consoling me through my breakups etc. I have no idea how to approach this or what I can do. He likes talking in cryptic, melodramatic ways (part of his charm), and it's making it really hard for me to have a 'real' conversation with him.
I dunno I guess I'm ranting right now. I want to help him, but I'm worried for him. Walt is the most stand-up, selfless, give you his shirt kind of guy I've ever known. I guess I'm a little pissed off that he has to go through this. He's literally the best friend anyone could hope for.
Damnit. | Best friend got dumped. How do I help him cope? |
t3_1mxsfy | Advice | Renting an apartment for next year - pricey cable/internet bill | Hi Reddit,
I'm not sure if there's a better subreddit to post this in, so if this belongs somewhere else, please let me know.
My girlfriend and I are planning to rent an apartment adjacent to the one we live in currently in our apartment building and while the rent is a little high, it's manageable but the problem is the cable/internet package they force on everyone.
We're not allowed to switch providers nor are we allowed to opt-out of the cable/internet since the place we rent from (a local business, not just one landlord) "gets a deal" on cable from one of the providers in the area. We pay $90 per month for a basic cable package and internet which has been really crappy recently; worse than a dial-up connection at 0.27 MBps (34.5 K/s). We're not allowed to contact the ISP directly and must go through our property managers since they "have a representative." However I feel like we won't get anywhere since I've dealt with the same ISP in previous years and wasn't impressed by a 3-week wait to repair a crappy cable box.
Anyway, we pay $90 / month and the ISP's site lists bundles and their respective prices. The closest one is the priciest one (which has the same price we pay) however we don't benefit from any of those features (i.e. HD channels, TiVo box, 50 MBps internet speed). We're currently in a lease for this year and pay that stupid $90 / month to have our pitiful internet, but I want to try to get that either redacted from our lease before we sign for another year or at least get a lower price / better service for what we pay.
Would anyone be able to provide some advice on what we could do? We tried looking around for alternative places without luck, and my girlfriend likes the location for the most part. Is there anything we can mention or say before we sign? I'm not a lawyer but I wasn't sure if anyone who ran into a similar situation could provide some sound advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance! | Gf and I are planning on renting an apartment and want to get the $90/month cable/internet service removed from our lease before signing or at least get better service for what we pay. |
t3_2lozzt | tifu | TIFU by saying one little thing and letting the shit hit the fan | So this has been going on for a while, but shit hit the fan today. I won't name names as to follow rules, and I'm using a throwaway cause I know a few of the people use Reddit.
So to begin my story, I will address using letters, because why not?
So I'm friends with A. B and C are dating, have been for a year or two. I forget. Anyways, A decides to tell me that him and B (Female) are together and cheating on C. Alright I know this no biggie. I don't agree with it but oh well. Not my place. Well one morning just chilling before classes start with a friend. We were talking about A and next thing I know she fucking magically guesses that B is cheating on C with A. Goddamnit. I didn't say anything so it confirmed it for her. I ask her to not to tell. She won't. Next fucking day my phone is blowing up from B asking why I'm spreading rumours. A won't talk to me. B says A denies telling me anything. I'm just like fuck now. And no one will talk to me. Monday will be fun. | I get shit on for knowing two people are cheating, even though they're the ones cheating. |
t3_146oga | relationships | Having issues with SO [29m] expressing his feelings to me [22f] | Dating for a little over a month.
Before we started dating, we texted constantly and hung out frequently. He was attentive and eager to talk.
He is a very passive person and isn't outgoing. Very even tempered. I'm more outgoing and loud than he is.
Things were going great, but now I feel like he is uninterested. Since he's so passive, he doesn't say much about the relationship or me. We've gotten comfortable with each other (which is great) but I almost feel like it's too comfortable. I want more attention from him and I want to know, mostly, that I'm wanted.
I did have a "break down" where I cried and told him I wanted to feel wanted and that I needed someone who could show me that. He said he didn't understand at all and that he didn't feel like things had changed that much.
He did tell me that he had been in a lot of relationships before that were a waste of time and that if he thought this was one, he wouldn't be in it.
I guess I just liked the chase a lot and I know he's capable of it, so why not.
What can I do or tell him that will help us through this? Is it too much to ask/should I reconsider the relationship? | Boyfriend not being communicative, which is something I am learning I need. |
t3_3q433t | relationships | Me [23/F] considering getting back together with ex [24/M]. I'm not sure if he's settling and will grow resentful. | Ex and I were together for ~2 years. We ended over differences in where we saw our lives going. He's very religious, I left his religion when I was young. He saw himself with a large family, I want two children maximum if I ever get to the point where I want children. Additionally, his parents didn't approve of me and my lack of religion.
We remained friends afterward, and by coincidence lived in the same housing complex so we continued to hang out regularly for the next three years. In those years, I dated around but never had another serious relationship for one reason or another. Usually once I got to know a guy I was seeing, I chose not to continue for whatever reason (politics, lack of manners). He had crushes on other girls, but hasn't gone on another date since. He's in a male-oriented career, has male oriented hobbies, and refuses to try online dating. This isn't to say he's socially awkward. He's very polite, simply shy. I believe that if he spent more time around women he'd find a date quickly.
Recently, we've started dating again. It's nice, he's a great person all around generous, good looking, always helpful, selfless... However I'm worried that in the future we'll hit the same challenges we hit before. He's claimed that he believes god wants him to be happy with me, his parents have gotten to know me better and approve, additionally he won't let them break p a relationships again, and that he's ok with only two children. I feel that he's just settling for me and in the future he'll regret not dating while he was young, or not having a large family (I'm not sure if I'll ever feel ready for children, I tell him this frequently).
Should I insist that he try to date more before we officially get back together? If he finds someone more well matched for him I'll be happy for him and wish him a good future. I just want him to be happy. | ex wants to get back together, I want him to date more so I don't feel settled for. |
t3_2t1143 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my husband [37 M] of 7 years, Doesn't support my desire for breast implants. | So....I've always been small chested. No big deal. I had full, round, perky A cups. It was great. Fast forward to three kids and 7 years with my husband ...I nursed all of my babies. I'm not saggy and I dont have stretch marks, but Im no longer full and I've become very self conscious of my chest. I feel like when we are having sex or making love, my husband goes to grab my "boobs" and he's like grasping at a brick wall. I have wanted cosmetic surgery for a while...probably seriously thinking about it after my second child. My husband has been sort of hesitant whenever i mentioned it in the past....then 8 months ago he noticed my search history about breast augmentation, and said if I REALLY was interested in it...the I should go ahead and look into it.
So, I got excited and started looking into it more. Details and what my goal was to look like. He seemed apprehensive but supportive.
Then I made appointments with two surgeons. I wanted him to go, but suddenly he refused. He started talking about how selfish I am and that he doesn't support any of it. I was confused and hurt. He all of sudden was crushing my thought that he was on board with me, and understood where I was coming from. He started taking about how he thought I would leave him and even accused me of trying to somehow "do better" then him.
I've tried explaining to him that it isn't for other people..or him, it's for me. But all of a sudden he seems to feel like its all for attention and a bigger plot to leave him. At the end of the argument he says ...just do what you want..."Im done talking about it" which is hurtful. I don't expect him to be crazy enthusiastic....but knowing I care so much about it...maybe he'd want to be more involved. | My husband sort of encouraged me to look into a breast augmentation, then suddenly was super against it. Now I dont know what to do. |
t3_rh6ef | relationships | I feel alone but at one time I had the best guy I could ask for. | Okay first off, I'm 24F and he is 32M. We have been dating for 4 years, the past 2 we have lived together. It started out the first 3 years we devoted all of our time together. We loved spending every minute together. Sex was great, ranging from 3-4 times a week.
We just recently started having problems since our work schedules do not work with each other. He works when I don't and I work when he doesn't. (This could be the problem) When we have time together he seems uninterested to do anything with me. He makes no move to do anything sexual. (Neither do I, because I feel like he is uninterested and i'm tired of being turned down). In the last 3 months we have had sex 3 times. He says I am a very attractive woman, i'm just confused at this point. We have had the "talk" about how I need more sex and I'm not quite sure if it is going to change. I asked for attention but I feel as if I shouldn't have to beg for attention, it's something that should freely be given in a relationship.
My boyfriend looks at porn and masturbates more than having sex with me. I know he is not cheating with anyone else (for a fact). Sex is not the only issue, he has no motivation to do ANYTHING. He does not want to ever have kids or get married.(I'm okay with the no kid part) I'm not pointing out his flaws, he has very few. I love him, and he is my best friend. He's the guy I WANT to spend the rest of my life with, he just makes it SO much more difficult. I want it to be like it was before, and I want us to have a future. I just need some advice or really anything because I'm stuck. | Boyfriends libido sucks/he lacks motivation for change, but before recently he was the perfect SO. I'm confused should I stay or go? |
t3_2o827z | relationships | My sister (41) disowned me a year ago but just got diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. What am I supposed to do? | I have a half sister who hated me from the day I was born. Let's call her Reyna. Her mother told her that my family replaced her with me so we didn't really get to know each other until I was 14. We are 14 years apart so we have had a hard time connecting on different levels but on other levels, we are so similar it's insane and I've always loved her.
Let me just say that my sister is the oldest in the family ( 2 half brothers and 2 half sisters) and has daddy issues since her mother drove my dad away and led her to believe it was his choice. At one point she has disowned every member of our family and she even disowned our other sister (let's call her Kaitlin) two years ago.
Last year, Renya and I got in a fight because I told her I don't like the way she talks to me (she's extremely controlling, condescending and just plain mean). She replied that my comment was the exact same thing that Kaitlin had said and that we were conspiring against her. She didn't realize that the problem is her, not us and that she is a mean person.
Last week, I was informed that Reyna has stage 4 liver cancer. My dad told me today that she has heard from everyone in the family except for Kaitlin and I.
At this point, we're not sure what to do. We both know that if we call her, Reyna will say something along the lines of "Oh, so you only call me now that I'm dying of Cancer, huh?? Wow, really nice". She's an angry person in general so we're both sort of afraid of her / not wanting to deal with all the negativity associated with her. That being said, we don't want to be the only two who don't even say "sorry you have cancer..we still love you"
Hopefully reddit has some guidance as there is no manual for this type of situation. Thanks! | My estranged sister has stage 4 liver cancer and we have not spoken in a year. Not sure how to go about contacting her or if I even should? |
t3_1x3qfb | relationships | Me [26F] with my Husband [28 M] together more than 7 years, married almost 1. He is an addict. How can I help him? | I knew that my husband did heroin for a while before we started dating. He stopped, so I didn't really realize what addiction meant. I found out about 4 years into our relationship. A friend came to stay with us and brought Heroin. He put it in front of my husband's face and asked if he wanted any. My husband relapsed.
He used for about 2 weeks, and then stopped. He weaned himself off with Methadone. It took him almost three months. He didn't tell me- he tried so many times, but he was afraid to.
I found out from a mutual friend that he had been using. I asked my husband directly, and he broke down and told me everything.
He has been sober for 3 years. He is seeing an addiction therapist. Our communication about it is stronger than ever. But, I still get scared. I guess it makes me really nervous to know that I had no clue when he was using. I really didn't know. It seems so strange that I missed all of that. I'm nervous that I would miss it again.
Through all of this we have become stronger than we ever were. I trust him, I just realize that addiction is a fight every single day. It's so much to fight, I don't know how to help.
We are very open about it- but I feel bad telling him these fears, because 1. he knows that I have them already, I don't want to harp on the same thing, and 2. I feel like I am punishing him when I say that I am afraid- I know he beats himself up about it, and I don't want him to feel worse.
I guess my question is: How do I help him, and help myself let go this fear? | Husband is sober from heroin for 3 years, how do I help him and stop being scared of a relapse? |
t3_2upk6m | tifu | TIFU By trying to scare my girlfriend | Before I start, this was totally an accident and I didn't mean for this to happen whatsoever.
So me and my girlfriend were driving home from the store on some nice back roads. Suddenly I see a rabbit ahead on the road. She looks up, and I stepped on the gas like I was going to try and run it over. She freaked out as planned, and I swiftly stepped on the brakes to give the little guy some time to cross the road. He crossed it. But for some he decided to run back to the other side at the last second. I slammed in the brakes and tried to swerve, and the little guy missed tires for sure, but there was a thump under the frame of my car. My girlfriend immediately started screaming and calling me a monster. I slowed way down and didn't see him back there. I tried to assure her that he just took a bump and ran off, but she isn't convinced. I offered to double back and check, she didn't want to see what horrors may lay on the road. She didn't talk to me the rest of the way home. I feel like a monster. :( | saw a rabbit when driving with my gf, stepped on the gas to freak her out. Rabbit doubled back and the last second and despite my efforts got hit. Not confirmed to be dead, please don't hate me. |
t3_30bhkx | relationships | I [22/m] have had $4000 deposited in my account after my abusive father [50s/m] made me re-do and alter my tax return. | **Background** I no longer live with abusive father, I moved in with my mother which caused a whole lot of uproar. Abuse wasn't physical, but he was verbally and emotionally abusive and I feel like it made my anxiety and depression a lot worse. I saw a psychologist after being diagnosed and while I didn't realize I was living in a bad household she was very worried and basically helped me realize it wasn't functional or okay just because we are related.
**Current Issue** Had an agitated phone call from my father a few months ago demanding to know why I did my own tax return several months ago, which I hadn't hidden or lied about. In fact I'm sure that household (my father, step-mother and older siblings) knew about it because we joked about how little I was getting back. After the phone call, which included passive aggressive comments such as "I know you **had** to do your own tax-return for your **independence**", I had to refile with his accountants and they added on money to my income (???) and I've had $4000 deposited in my account.
**Why I'm Stuck** My father has an account which has approx. $10000 in it. A lot of this money (not all) was my money from working between the ages of 15-17. He controlled my bank account and deposited half of my earnings in it every week. I had no say in this matter and could not access it even when buying a car. In fact I owe him approx. $3000 and cannot access this other account to pay him back. I just want some advice from outside sources, I have no intention to blackmail him or use this money I just think some outside opinions on the matter would help me greatly. | Abusive father makes me (falsely?) refile tax return, what to do with excess money? |
t3_2ib90c | relationships | I [21/M] met a [23/F] beauty and I need advice on how to kiss. | In the past week or so i've been really into this girl. It's starting to get semi serious and you know I as a guy am a hopeless romantic. I'm 21 and haven't really dated yet. I mean i'm not socially awkward or anything, I believe i'm a pretty good talker. It's just I feel like ladies think I friend-zone them when i'm just genuinely trying to get to know them. Maybe i'm just taking too long to try and get to know them. AHHH I don't know what i'm doing wrong!
But fast forward to now - I meet this really pretty lady and she's something I really don't want to get away. We've talked and texted for quite a bit now and i'm inviting her over for dinner sometime this week. I'm probably going to get a bottle of wine and make some chicken alfredo or something. We've locked eyes before and it was a silent story of "Hey you! Yeah you! We should kiss..." but I just smiled and let it go because frankly I don't know how to smooch. | Teach me how to smooch! |
t3_2irwob | tifu | TIFU by eating an ant pile | This actually happened back in 5th grade. Alright, it was about 1:00 PM, school gets out at 2:45 so Recess is at the perfect time. One thing that every kid in elementary school knew about the playground, was the giant ant pile behind the play equipment! Now, this wasn't a normal ant pile, it was a nest of those really nasty big Orange Ants. Me and a buddy of mine walk over to the pile to check it out, he sets up a deal with, "If you can take a handful of that pile and eat it, I'll give you $20"! Now me being a stupid 5th grader, I thought it was the perfect deal!
So I stick my hand in the pile and grab a big clump, my hand is now covered in these orange ants and dirt. I raise the clump to my mouth and place it in my mouth, my mouth immediately starts burning and stinging, I begin to swallow the clump of live ants and dirt, while tears run down my face.
The day went on as usual, I walked into my last class of the day, that's when my stomach started to hurt really bad. I raised my hand and asked if I could head to the nurse, the teacher said yes and I began the long journey through the white halls to the Nurse. I made it to the nurse, she asked what was wrong and I told her the whole story, she was a bit surprised but also expected something like this to happen with a stupid 5th grader.
The next part is what I always wish I could forget. I had to take a very painful poop right in front of the nurse, so she could make sure I "Passed" all of the ants. | Ate an ant pile, had to poop right in front of Old Lady Nurse. |
t3_lgpba | AskReddit | Ok r/politics Most of you want to raise taxes on the wealthy. Here's my attempt to help you understand my perspective of their perspective. | The main reason I oppose increasing taxes on the rich is that if you do that, assuming everyone were to vote in their own self-interest, eventually the situation would become such that anyone making less than the median income could vote to have no taxes on themselves, and everyone earning more than the median income could have their excess taxed at extremely high rates. This is an extreme example and unlikely to occur anytime soon, or anytime ever for that matter, but for the principle's sake follow me. Given a situation with not enough tax revenue, the majority of people could always say "no don't raise my taxes, raise theirs they make more", regardless of fairness or public policy implications or how much more they already pay. Though the rich make plenty of money and could pay additional monies no problem, I believe this is partially why they oppose tax increases based on principle.
If you can raise taxes on people earning more than you without having it affect you at all, why not? But then where does it end?
Why should the rich agree to something where they are the only ones who have to sacrifice? They already pay a much higher percent of their income in taxes.
Now for the proposal. It's really nothing new. Why not a flat tax? If everyone has to pay the same percentage, it still benefits the poor. But then when there are revenue problems and people want to raise taxes, there is a feeling of shared sacrifice rather than 99% ganging up on 1%, or 51% ganging up on 49%. At the very least, there ought to be some kind of index or limit so any tax increases change everyone's rate proportionally and not so everyone can get a tax cut except the top earners.
Unless you think equal rights = equal income, in which case you've likely stopped reading this by now, I hope this idea can garner some sort of acceptance among advocates for tax increases. | taxes should increase or decrease on everyone proportionally, otherwise >50% have too much power over <50%. |
t3_2h17dx | Advice | Husband wants to visit his homeland | My husband and I have been through a long, expensive battle with immigrating here to the US legally. I'm a US citizen by birth (like 5th gen American), and he is from El Salvador. We spent 2.5 years apart while we waited for my government to issue him a visa to come here legally. He came home last November (almost a year ago).
We have a really good relationship. It is almost as if he were never gone - we didn't miss a beat. When he was in El Salvador for those 2.5 years he didn't work a formal job - just helped around his family's property, building walls and rooms and leveling the ground and planting corn, etc.
He got a job here in the US about a month and a half after he got back. He's a manager for a short order restaurant and works 50-60 hours a week, plus, during the day he cares for our ~3 year old (I work M-F, 8-5).
While he was in El Salvador he wanted to be here in the US with us. But recently, he's been incessantly talking about visiting El Salvador, and soon. We are trying to conceive and he says if we do get pregnant and have another kid, it will be impossible for him to go back.
He's going for 6 days in the next few months and I can't help but to feel slighted and sad. I could go with but it would turn a 650$ trip into a 2000$+ trip (air fare, car rental, hotel - I'm not staying in a house with no ac and no plumbing...). His mom, sister, and 3 of his brothers still live in El Salvador (another brother and his dad live down the street from us here in the US); his aunt, who raised him from birth pretty much, is also still in El Salvador, as is his mom's mom who has fallen pretty ill in the past few months.
Why do I feel so sad over this? It's really, really selfish of me to not want him to go, isn't it? How can I be okay with this? I know I'll get over it but I can't understand why he wants to go back *so bad*. I'm in the wrong, right?? | husband and I were apart for 2.5 years waiting on visa, husband came back last November finally, husband wants to go back to his country to visit, I'm sad. |
t3_246kb7 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of ~1 month, am worried he is not that into me because he never wants to hang out when I initiate things. | Back in March I met this guy. We immediately hit it off on our first date. For the first week we text pretty often throughout the day. We both have the same sense of humor and like similar things.
Since then we have been having dates about 2 times each week. He has cooked me dinner twice, we have went out for drinks, and brunch a few times as well.
I recall that early on in the relationship he mentioned he wanted to take things slow; not seeing one another everyday and such. Well he also wanted to be exclusive...which we are.
I guess my issue is whenever I try to suggest we hangout he always turns it down. For example this Friday we had drinks and hung out for a bit and I think we had a good time. So Saturday it was very nice outside so I sent him a text suggesting we hangout. He said he was headed out to the park with his dog and would bug me later. Later he texts me that he is "gonna be lame and call it an early night" since he was beat from the park.
I told him that was cool. I have decided that maybe I should loosen up a bit and let him be the first to initiate contact. I did not hear from him (text/call) at all afterwards on Saturday evening or all day Sunday.
Am I just over-analyzing this too much? I feel like I have been use to relationships where early on you tend to want to spend a lot of time with one another. I just can't help thinking I did or said something stupid on Friday night. I guess what I am asking is am I over reacting and is it OK to talk to your SO every, couple days instead of daily? | Been seeing this guy for a month. Never wants to hangout when I suggest although he did want to take things slow. Is it normal to go days without talking/texting your SO? |
t3_1rttez | relationships | I[19 M] with my [22F] girl of one month are talking way too much! | About a month ago I started talking to and pursuing a girl I go to college with. She is great, but completely my opposite -- sometimes I find myself clutching at straws for things to talk about that we both share an interest in.
We went on two dates, and then I slept over at her place after a campus party the following night. This occurred over a period of two weeks. We have been on Thanksgiving break all this week and we have been texting/communicating far too much. Like I said, sometimes it's hard for us to talk about things that are mutually interesting, and I feel that by talking so much we are just devaluing our relationship.
How can I tell her that I'm into her, but I think that the constant communication is killing our relationship? I do plan to ask her to be my official girlfriend soon, but only if we can stay interested in each other without getting to the 'boring' stage that this constant communication would get us to. | Girl wants to talk way too much. I fear that she will lose interest in me or I will lose interest in her if we continue. How do I delicately stop? |
t3_l17ug | AskReddit | New School, New Girls, Im a Socially awkward penguin. Any help? | since I'm posting on reedit, i assume everyone is aware of who the socially awkward penguin is. I am that penguin. Everything he's say, does, and even the way he acts, is exactly me. So here is my problem, 10th grade just started, and I'm in a brand new high school. i didn't know anyone there, and no one there knew who i was. i started of by making friends with other redditors and kids like me(nerds and gamers). One hot girl took interest in me and when she and her friend were drunk, the friend told me she was in love with me. so because i was SO socially awkward, i could never hold an irl convo for more than 30seconds with her, so i chatted with her over aim and Facebook. she asked me why i never talk to her in school and i gave some bullshit answer. later i called her best friend a slut(I'm even awkward on the internet, I'm pathetic). the day after she looked at me with disgust through the halls, and wouldn't say a word to me. i need to know what to do reddit. I'm too socially awkward to go at this alone. | im a socially awkward penguin, lost a girl who was into me, how do i act non penguin and get her back into me? |
t3_37w4x9 | relationship_advice | I [21/F] am in a long distance relationship but falling for my best friend | I have been dating someone [23/M] long distance for over 4 years now, he lives in another state across the country and we only get to see each other 1-2 times a year. We love each other to death but I feel like it's a dead end since we will never be able to live with each other any time soon (I'm talking seriously forever) under our circumstances.
I've just been so crushingly lonely, and recently my best friend [21/M] has started working at the same place as me and we've been getting very very close, sharing very dark personal stories and supporting each other every day, even subtle flirting. I am definitely falling for him and the fact that I get to see him every day isn't helping.
I love my SO to death but I just feel like this won't go anywhere. He is very much so in love with me and I feel like the last thing he deserves is for me to break his heart, but I just don't know how much longer I can stand the distance. I don't know what to do. | I'm in love with my SO but I only see him 1-2 times a year, meanwhile my best friend and I are getting very close and I'm falling for him. |
t3_1pexei | relationships | Her (23F) mom is dying if cancer, how do I (24M) handle this best? | We've been seeing eachother for about 2 months. Things have escalated to the point of her sleeping over and has met my family as I have met hers.
When I met her, her mother was living diagnosed, but in the last few weeks it's taken a downward turn.
We don't talk about her mom often, from what I gather she doesn't have much time left.
Although it's amazing when we get together, her moms illness is obviously emotionally overwhelming her, and the last few days she's shit down and been VERY distant from me :(
I've never had to deal with illness or death fortunately in my family, so I have no way to understand what I need to do/say. I try to be there for her, and while I ask how her moms doing, I keep it brief. I don't think she wants to dwell on that topic during time spent with me.
The last few weeks we've been talking a lot, and incredibly affectionate with eachother. But in the two days passed she's been bailing on plans and being very distant.
How do I handle this? This girl really matters to me :( | girls mom has cancer, causing emotional disturbance in the natural progression of an early relationship, but I care too much to quit her. |
t3_4xyei8 | relationships | [25/M] looking for honest help with [21/F]... | Sooo I need help. Like any advice anyone is willing to give. I've known this girl for awhile now. We met as co workers and it's still that way. Overtime my feelings for her grew to a point where I asked her to hang out, see movies, etc.. Just to get to know her. All went well until I asked her out on a date.
She agreed to it and seemed pretty optimistic about where this would go until after the date. The date even went well too. Later we talked and she said she likes me but not in that way. And that she'd like to see each other more to see if feelings might change. And for now we'll just work on being closer friends.
I know where this is going. And I know where it could end up. I treat her as a friend now and don't really give off the crush vibe I used to. However, aside from that facade I love her more than anything. I've never felt feelings that I feel for her, and I'm at the point where it's making me physically sick.
I just need help or tips on what I can do to get her feelings to change. She'll be making the next time to hang out, but she's also busy with work/life. Any suggestions on what to do or how to improve my chances would be a miracle for me... Please and thank you. | I'm in love with a girl who doesn't like me in that way but wants to hang out to see if things might change. How can I improve my chances/any suggestions? |
t3_4umenr | personalfinance | To buy, or not to buy, that is the question: | I need some advice on whether this is the perfectly wrong time to buy a house or not. 16 months ago I moved out of my ex's house, been there for 6 years. She bought at the perfect time when the housing market was down. I'm kind of pissed about it now because I was looking for a house at the same time she was buying her's. But now I'm living in an apartment currently. Spending way too much on rent, and wanting to get into a house, but in the back of my mind knowing it is the absolute wrong time because we're at the upper part of the curve of the housing market, *I feel*.
I have a feeling there's another downturn coming. There's been some reading I'm doing that has supported this suspicion, but of course nobody can tell the future.
I really want to be in a house, I belong there, I love DIY projects, I love improving my house, I love having my friend over for parties (not really doable in an apartment). My ex certainly got a lot of equity out of my sweat and blood. So I enjoy working my house.
But, these prices!!!
I have a feeling that purchasing a house right now is going to end up with me waiting 10 years to be back in the black. I sense a dip coming on...
Facts:
Market: Metro Phoenix, AZ
Income: 75k
Status: Single
Rent currently: 1350
Possible low rent: 1100
Approx purchase price: 200k
Down payment: 5% or more.
Debt: N/A. - it's small, but this question is more about the viability of the timing of the house purchase.
Demo: I'm 38, and this really isn't a 'first house'. It's something I should be a little higher on the scale of comfort and quality.
Should I wait 2 years, anticipate the crash, find a cheaper apartment, and save a larger down payment?
...you peeps rock... | Buy high? Maybe that'd help... |
t3_2g0h7n | relationships | My (f25) issue with my husband (26) is driving us apart. | I kept the title vague for a reason. The issue is really with my husbands brother who is 19.
The brother is in an abusive relationship with his girlfriend who is the same age. I guess we, my husband and I can't agree on the best course of action.
The pair have been together for three years and the brother has tried to break up with the girl multiple times, but she will say that she is going to kill herself or make him kill her. She has pushed him down the stairs, stabbed him with keys, bit him until he bled, punched him, screams, and throws things at him. All this happens at the girls parents. I tried to talk with her parents about it, but they think it's harmless because she only weighs 110 pounds and he's just being a pussy and he can leave whenever.
They also let him borrow their car so the brother has told his own mom that he feels obligated to stay with her and to marry the girl.
My husband wants to forcibly split them up, but I feel like that would make matters worse. He thinks I'm taking the girls side when I'm trying to make sure that hopefully the brother will see a way out with either his mom or with us. I don't think forcing him to leave will be the best option or should we just leave them be like every one else?
Sorry if this is short, I'm on my phone and I'm getting frustrated. | husbands brother is being abused and no one seems to care. |
t3_w5w0i | AskReddit | What are your most akward storys of being caught staring at a girl. Females answer from your perspective. | So, as the title says. I am asking because I just had a fairly akward encounter with this. After being super embarassed for a while I thought to myself, Reddit must have some better storys.
My story goes as follows: My cousin was returning home after leaving her husband and it was her first day back in town. Alot of family members came to see her as well as some of her friends. After a while we where running out of liquor and i offer to drive to the liquor store as it would probably take me less than 10 mins. I return from a short trip, i crouch down and begin putting the beers in the fridge. After placing about 2 or 3 beers in the fridge I glance to my left and I am practically eye level with my cousins friends ass (it was very very nice). I could not help myself from looking, I was still putting beers in the fridge by feel alone for about what felt like a solid 45 seconds. When I finally decide to look up it is only then that I realize everyone was staring t me the whole time and I just could not see them due to tunnel vision and the rack I was wearing a hat and crouched down so I was unable to see past most peoples torsos anyways. My whole family then brought it back up throughout the day.... It made both me and her uncomfortable. | whole family was watching me stare at my cousins friends ass for what felt like 45 seconds. |
t3_28is4q | relationships | My (M20) girlfriend (22F) is leaving me because she doesn't want me to be a distraction in her future. | Hey r/relationships, I'm fairly torn up right now.
My girlfriend of one year asked me to have a talk with her last night after I got home from playing Catan with some friends. I did, and the subject of our future came up. She wants to go to a college across country to become a film editor, and I really just want to find a career and settle down, long term. Obviously these two goals don't mix. We had talked about this in the past, and up until this point, our mutual agreement was that I would go with her when she left to school, and build a career wherever we landed.
Last night, however, our discussion kind of blew up. It resulted in her, in plain English, telling me she "didn't want me to be a distraction" during school. I was fairly choked. We argued and eventually, I told her that if she wouldn't have me there with her, I wouldn't be willing to have a long term relationship.
After I told her this, there was a feeling of inevitability in the relationship ending. We were both very upset, crying, and trying to convince each other that, in fact, we could make it through this.
We were both visibly upset all day today, and when I got home from work, she was lying on the couch. I sat by her feet and didn't say anything, until she asked, "Are you okay?". I said no, and again, we had began crying.
Eventually, she asked, " So what's next?", to which I replied, "what do you want?". She then told me she wanted to move out, and that wed be better ending the relationship now, before she has enough saved for school.
Ive never been so upset. I've also never put so much effort and work into a relationship before. I've always known of her goals and dreams but a part of me always hoped she'd adapt them to include me, in the way I would for her. | GF wants to chat, tells me she doesn't want me to move across country with her. We get upset, fight, and today she tells me she wants to move out. |
t3_3h67jv | relationships | My [25M] girlfriend's [23F] friend's birthday is coming up and the guy who my ex cheated on my with will be there. Am I wrong for not wanting to go? | I'll try to keep this short...my current girlfriend, let's call her Bridgett, and I have been together for a little over 10 months. Several months prior to dating her, I was cheated on by my ex by the same guy TWICE, once in the beginning stages of our relationship and again at the tail end. Yeah, I know "once a cheater always a cheater" blah blah....I get it lesson learned.
On to the current situation...my girlfriend's friend, let's name her Sarah, is having her 23rd birthday next weekend, and both she and I (pretty sure I was invited bc im Bridgett's boyfriend since I've only met her a couple times and this was a small party -- but I digress) were invited. Coincidentally enough, Sarah is also close friends with the guy my ex cheated on me with, and I'm sure he will definitely be present for the birthday festivities.
Naturally enough, I'm not totally thrilled about going to this party due to what transpired between this guy and my ex several months prior to dating my current girlfriend. I told Bridgett, albeit reluctantly, that I would go so she wouldn't have to go alone, but I also expressed that I was ambivalent about going due to the reason stated above. She goes on to question my love for her, whether or not i'm over my ex, stating that if I was truly over her, I would have no problems at all with going to this party. She also added that if I loved her, I have no problems with this guy, saying, and I quote, "you can't blame him, if any guy was in a situation where a girl is hitting on him, he would go for it no questions asked, regardless of her relationship status"
Needless to say, I was somewhat taken aback by both her blanket statement about guys in general as well as her not understanding why I am totally not thrilled about this party. I want to hear your thoughts not on who's right or wrong per se, but just to get a third-person perspective on the whole situation. Thanks! | girlfriend's friend is having a party. Guy my ex cheated on me will be there. Girlfriend thinks if I truly love her, I would have no problems going |
t3_3a3pfa | tifu | TIFU by poisoning the food supply. | Context: The lease for my apartment ends on the last day of June, meaning mandatory cleanup of the premises and appliances to rescue security deposit. I live with three other roommates and we're always throwing new produce in front of each other's groceries in the fridge. Sometimes shit gets lost in the ether.
Today: I volunteer to handle the fridge and start from the bottom shelf, which belongs to the roommate whom we pay to marinate proteins and cook for us. At 6:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, Game 6 of the NBA Finals will commence, and he went Chef Curry With The Pot this morning and made a giant tray of chicken to grill after we get back from work.
I remove all the stuff and wipe down the surface with a Clorox wipe. Things are going well.
I replace this uncovered enclosure of marinated chicken back, admiring the shimmering surface of the marinade, which consists of Soy Sauce, Sesame Oil, Cherry Coke, Garlic, and Green Onion, along with some crack mix made of ingredients he refuses to share. Cleaning the other 2 shelves seems less of a burden knowing that this chicken is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, top shelf, packed with a bunch of oranges, lemons, and limes. One of them seems to have rolled to the back, nestled in the corner, away from the other citrus fruits. I reach out to grab this lonely lemon, expecting an easy extraction operation.
Poof and surprise motherfuckers, the side facing away from me has completely molded over, and it explodes into a giant puff of fun-dip-purple anthrax powder that settles on all areas of the fridge below it. The surface of the chicken looks like it bathed in the ash of a nuclear winter.
I'm still working on my apology for when they get back, as my balls recede into my stomach like Lebron James' hairline. | I grab some low hanging fruit and have become forever unclean. |
t3_22ofom | relationships | I [25m] have fallen for a [29f] and things are about to get tricky. | A little context:
I met this girl through a mutual friend at a bar. We instantly clicked and had the most wonderful conversation and that night we hooked up and we thought mutually that this was the makings of a unmessy one night stand.
I thought this girl was so full of potential that I decided to text her and once again we started talking for hours about everything and anything. Its amazing and I couldn't be more elated at the prospect of a new relationship. Most importantly, she is on the same level and agrees with me on continuing the relationship.
More context: the problem starts with the fact that she lives 200mi away and we won't be able to see each other because of our schedules until the end of this month. More importantly, she won't be able to see me again until perhaps the next month after that because she, once again, will have a very busy schedule. And then after that. She will move for a position in her career that will last at least three years and be 1200mi away. After that there is absolutely no guarantee that she will move back.
I am currently in school and have another 2 yrs to go.
We will meet at the end of the month and if all goes well then I will see how adventurous I feel but whatever the case I need to prepare for both scenarios.
On one hand I have a passionate loving fling that will leave me ecstatic but disappointed, on the other I engage in a long distance relationship with no real prospect that our paths will meet again. I am probably completely insane but I got it so bad with this girl that im starting to think completly irrationally. Advice please. | I've fallen for a girl that doesn't live in my city, or state. Should I continue or let it go. |
t3_40m8vs | personalfinance | US/UK Dual Citizen never filed taxes, advice? | Hello, bit of an unusual one but hoping you can help, I was born in the US but raised almost completely in the UK and so with no experience of the US Tax system I have never filed. I'm 22 now and am starting to learn this will be a problem should I wish to Travel/Move to the US, so I'd like to get this sorted.
I've tried out that TurboTax software and it looks to be quite straight forward for filing this years taxes, but I first started work in 2013, so I'm pretty sure I will need to file for 2013/2014 as well. Though I'm not sure how to file for previous years and I'm also a bit worried about there being penalties for never having done it.
I will probably need to seek professional assistance with this as well, so if anyone has any recommendations on who to speak to for my situation that would also be greatly appreciated. | US citizen raised in the UK, no experience with US tax system, worried about having never filed. |
t3_vr8xe | AskReddit | What can I send to my ex-boss's home as prank revenge? | Long story short, my boss and I occasionally traded pranks back and forth. These are usually harmless/annoying pranks, like putting tape over the optical mouse, or taking a screencap of the desktop and making that the PC wallpaper (and hiding the icons).
Today was my boss's last day...and he decided to tape my laptop shut and spill a ton of paperclips all over my desk before taking out his belonging and leaving the office.
**Needless to say, I'm looking to send something to his home to get revenge.**
Now, he's a cool/likeable guy, so I don't want to send a stripper or something (he has kids/wife, and that could get ugly). I'm also a cheapskate, so if you can think of something cheap I could send a lot of, that would be awesome too (packing peanuts?) | help me send something to my boss's house that's cheap and prankish |
t3_2dbss4 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my SOs [18-24 F]. Every relationship, showing feelings is bad | I'm starting to be sick of it. I'm in a relationship that's a couple weeks old, and we got to a point where things began to get rough for the first time. She did something that made me feel like she doesn't want to fully commit.
My problem is that the situation repeated itself many times in the past with other partners. It begins with me hesitating to tell her what I think is wrong, she notices that I behave differently and continues poking until I give in and give her a neutral, detailed, clear-headed explanation of my feelings, and... game over.
Showing feelings, regardless of the partner, almost instantly kills the relationship.
Either she no longer sees me as a man because something hurt my feelings, or I get told I worry too much, or they turn it around and create an emotional rollercoaster about themselves.
No matter what, every single time I show emotions as a man, it backfires completely and every time it's followed by the moment of clarity where I remember "yep, this is why I should always hide my feelings."
God this is frustrating. I'm mostly annoyed at myself right now because I know I should've just kept my mouth shut. I feel like a fool. Am I insanely unlucky, or should I just take the safe route and bite my tongue the next time this happens? | Men should never show emotion because it's a weakness and almost every woman hates weakness. Be a stone. Showing feelings is a high-risk low-reward kind of deal. |
t3_2q717a | relationships | After 7 years, should I leave? | A little bit of background:
I am 26 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for 7 years. We met while I was at school in NYC, I then transferred to school at home in Boston and we did long distance for about 8 months before he moved to Boston. He is from Florida.
He lived in Boston for about 2.5 years before going to law school in New Orleans. I did not live with him but spent about half the week at his apartment. He decided to go to law school as his father is a lawyer in Florida, and to be honest, he just couldn't find long-term, decent-paying work in Boston at the time (he moved during the 2009 economic crash).
I did not move to New Orleans while he was in law school because I was finishing up my undergraduate degree in Boston and then found a job fairly quickly in Boston and felt like I couldn't give it up. Needless to say, the 3 years that he was in law school was very, very difficult. Nonetheless, we made it through.
In the meantime, he is working with his father in Florida, and I am still in Boston. I got a promotion and a significant pay raise so it helped to pay off my student loan debt.
For the past year or so, I have really wanted him to propose, to take our relationship to the next level. He wants me to move to FL and says that he will not propose until I move, because he "wants to be sure." I feel like after 7 years, you know if you are going to marry someone. I feel like I'm getting dragged along. We've been through a lot, but I don't think it's too much to ask for at this point.
I've given him 6 months, and if he doesn't propose by then I will need to end the relationship. | My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, 4 of which have been long distance. He won't propose. |
t3_1dd5w0 | tifu | TIFU by using public transport. | So I decided to take the fiance for a nice meal at a nearby Japanese restaurant. A short trip on the bus would do us nicely...or so i thought...the front seats are priority seats for old people so I led the other half to the back of the bus and sat down.
Not long afterwards my leg started getting a little chilly, no worries I thought, there's just a breeze. After stepping off of the bus and touching the back of my leg I noticed it was wet. Upon a gentlemanly sniff of the offending liquid.....I realized it was pee. | Used a bus, made my fiance and I sit in someone else's pee. |
t3_3w19hg | relationships | Unrest in the matriarchy | Hey reddit! I (24f) feel like my mom(61) and gram(93) have been dressing me my whole life. My grandmother literally won't stop giving me her old clothes. My mom gets upset if I donate any of them because they're "classic". Half of my closet is wool suits from the 70s.
I got a nose ring this weekend. I've been thinking about it for a while. I love it. No one in my family has seen it but I told them about it. It didn't go over well. The word dissapointed was used as well as hurt. My grandmother and mom feel like I've desicrated my face. My gram actually cried when I told her and she's pretty stoic. This made me feel like a monster.
I have a few questions:
Am I being selfish and immature?
Should I just take out this thing and forget it ever happened?
Are they overreacting?
Is it normal to be pressured into taking a 93 year old woman's hand me downs?
Thanks! | how do I set boundaries without hurting my loved ones? |
t3_s1w6i | dogs | Hello redditors, I'm having some concerning thoughts right now... | One of my friends found a puppy and since he already has a fair number of dogs, he couldn't really take care of her, but that isn't the problem. He asked me if I wanted her and of course I immediately said yes without a thought(This happened 4 days ago). The puppy is fairly big, I would assume she is maybe not even a year old yet. Yesterday I found out that the puppy might possibly be some form of Pitbull and since I am currently living within the Miami-Dade area they are kind of illegal, but I really want to take care of her and really don't know anyone else(or rather I don't want to know anyone else) that will take care of her. I'm thinking about getting around the whole vet thing by taking her to another county since they are legal anywhere else in Florida, then again I might just be a 17 year old boy who is getting in over his head because he loves dogs. Any bit of helpful advice would be much appreciated. If any of you do recommend I keep her, what useful advice could you give me in terms of raising a Pitbull and trying to get her used to being outside? | My friend gave me a puppy he found, the type of dog is kind of illegal in my county, I don't want to give her up, but I might just be an idiot 17 year old who loves dogs too much. |
t3_ouzgy | AskReddit | How do you flirt using humor? | I'm not sure how to explain this..
So I've been 'trying' to get a girlfriend recently(i know you're not supposed to actively try, but its more marketing myself as available), and I realized that one of my 'strengths' is humor. (I'm nowhere near the Dave Chapelle level) but I do alright. Anyways, humor has been very hit or miss.personally, I don't believe in censoring what I say to attract people, but I realize I can talk about "pussy this and that" all day.
So I'm wondering where should i draw the line when trying to flirt or just talk to people? Also how does one draw the line when you meet someone? The reason I ask this is because, if you're trying to connect with a someone, you have to go beyond an initial comfort level, or else conversation would be really stale. But you can't delve into another person's life so much that it becomes intrusive/creepy. | Guy trying to flirt, is trying to find the line between humor and profanity. Also How do you find the line between intimacy and intrusion in a conversation? |
t3_1fty7a | AskReddit | Reddit, What is your most embarrassing fart story? | There is a pretty small taco shop down the street from where I work as a tv sales rep. They sell monster size burritos for $4.00 a pop seeing how its only two stop lights away it made sense to have lunch there today.
I get back from lunch and have the most boring day ever. There was no one shopping for anything really. With about 15 minutes till the end of my shift, a elderly couple and their grand kids pop into my department and start up a conversation about getting a new tv. At about the same time taco butt kicked in. It was painful. I was sweating and I thought I was going to die.
The whole time we have been talking the lady was taking notes on a small note pad as was explaining that they were only looking and pricing today and were going to sleep on it, she went to put it back in her purse and missed. The note pad hit the floor. In an attempt at being sweet i bent over to pick it up for her. I farted the longest and loudest fart I have ever farted before. It was terrible. The youngest kid with them laughed so hard he cried and the old man said "held that in a while did ya?" The lady was red in the face. I couldn't tell if it was because I damn near shit my self or if she was fighting laughter.
It was terrible. I never want to see them again. | Ate a big taco , damn near shit my self while trying to make a sale. |
t3_29ezyd | relationship_advice | [23/ftm] Boyfriend of 3 years (26/m) cheated 3 times with past threesome partner. | I'll try to make this quick, since it's long and complicated.
* relationship started via threesome with another girl, "Penny."
* I was dating Penny first, then we decided to open up our relationship. We met and started dating my current boyfriend, "John."
* I broke up with Penny, John decided to stay with me, John and I have been together for 3 years (in September) ever since.
So first off, John is out of the house right now. I needed a break and I told him to leave. Penny and I were best friends before we ever got into a relationship (before I even came out as trans*), so after a few years we've slowly been building up our friendship again (with full disclosure to John, of course). It was strictly platonic.
So Penny was meeting some guy to go on a date, and wanted to hang out with me before and after. She spent the night. All three of us piled into the bed. I have insomnia so I stepped outside in the middle of the night to smoke a cigarette, then came back in and played games on my phone until I got tired.
Heard a noise from the upstairs bedroom. I know what Penny-sex-noises sound like. When I got up there, they were both feigning sleep.
Morning time, Penny leaves as soon as she wakes up, and the first thing I ask my boyfriend is, "Did you and Penny have sex last night?"
He says yes. We talk it out like adults for a long time, then he admits that he's had sex with her *two times* before. | In the past year, my boyfriend has fucked a girl three different times. Always in my own home, in my bed. This last time, I was still in the apartment. But we used to be in a threesome with her. WHAT DO?? |
t3_fd4pr | AskReddit | How do you find your motivation Reddit? | I'm finding myself in a hole of depressed, and can't seem to pull myself out of it. Lot's of the posts that I see like this get responses along the lines of "keep yourself busy, doesn't mater what it is, just go out and do something, even if you do it by yourself."
And thats where I'm hitting a major roadblock. Even when I'm feeling happier, I dislike doing stuff by myself. Yet I have no friends to get out and do stuff with. I'm pushing 30 this year so it's hard to go meet people for stuff to do, plus I've got a touch of social anxiety that really puts a hitch in meeting new people/going out in general.
I do have a few random hobbies I've been able to keep myself busy with in the past, but for the past few months it just seems so worthless to do any of these. Even if I force myself to just start doing something, it usually only lasts 5 minutes tops before I just stop caring to bother. The effort in just seems more than what I'm getting out of it, and nothing seems worth while to do.
I know I need to go seek profensional help, but just thinking about talking to some one starts the panic attack feelings(if thats not a screaming yell for help I don't what is) And can't get past the fear just to go get help. | So I guess after all that rambling, my question for Reddit is; How to you find the motivation to be motivated? |
t3_16ez30 | BreakUps | 26/M and 21/F. Ending it gracefully. [xpost] | I have recently been dumped in a rather monumental fashion. Essentially she just stopped talking to me and my attempts to contact her and ask for an explanation have been met with nothing but silence.
I do not know why she has done this, and I would like to know. Although, to be entirely honest, I am alright with the fact that she has decided she does not want to be with me. I would like to extend the option of friendship to her but I doubt she would be receptive of this, given the way she has decided to end things.
I have written up a fairly long message that I would like to send to her as a parting farewell. In essence, I want her to know that I am not bitter about the way she has treated me, that I would rather she spoke to me about it but I am ok with the fact that she didn't. I am not upset or bitter, I'm not going to try and win her back. I am ok with being friends.
My question is, should I send the message? Or should I just walk away from the relationship without letting her know how I feel? | Got dumped. Not upset. Send her a message to tell her this, or just walk away and let it hang. |
t3_hil4v | relationships | Love my bf, but have no desire to be physical... | I'm 21 (f) he's 27 (m). We've been together for almost two years now. I find him very attractive, I love him very much, but for some reason, I just have no desire to be physical. When he approaches me sexually, I almost feel, not-quite-but-almost an aversion. Because of this, I've asked that we stop being physical for a while, it's been almost a month and a half of pretty much no physical interaction (except cuddling) but it hasn't changed. I thought maybe I was over-sexed (we used to do it regularly, 2 or 3 times a day), but since we stopped, and it hasn't fixed it, that's probably not it. Before seeking professional help, I thought i'd ask you guys :( please help! He's been amazing and patient and understanding, but I know eventually it's going to ruin us, and thats the last thing i want. | Physically attracted to my bf but don't want sex, don't know whats wrong with me |
t3_3jxxmf | relationships | Finding friends; the hardest thing in life. | In these days, why is it sincerely hard to find a friend.
Just a friend, sounds simple. Guess not.
I am 22 in a straight relationship of 3 years and it is REALLY hard to find a couple who has at least one or two common interests and they are not cocky assholes or gossipers. Almost every couple I know is either cheating, unhappy or severely extroverted.
It is challenging to find myself friends (female) that aren't going to end up sleazy and fake af or share everything we talk about to others.
When I try to get to know a girl to try and see what kind of person she is, it almost always ends up with her either being a fake or no morals type and I can sense which girls are lying to my face, for no reason too. Like, why tf should I care if you lie about how many miles you run or how much money you make.
I doooon't caaaaare.
An ideal evening for my boyfriend & I is watching a pirated movie and eating some of my homemade goodies and junk food in the comfort of our home, crowded and public places make us uncomfortable.
My boyfriend is 24 and an introvert so he is alright with not seeing his friends for most of the year, whereas I am an extrovert but not overtly so.
As a mother, I don't have many indulgences and I'm okay with that. In total I talk to my only good and longest friend sporadically, sometimes for 3-4 months at a time. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. This is the kinds of friends I need in my life, someone who can come have coffee, tea or a bong hit and the occasional bag or two of my homemade treats. | Finding friends is challenging |
t3_2a4hxj | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] in happiest relationship of my life, yet can't stop thinking about my ex... | I was in a very whirlwind relationship with a guy in September of last year. We'll call him James. I was very infatuated with him, and I ended up cheating on my boyfriend with him back then. He then found another girl and started to date her, leaving me because "he couldn't trust me." It broke my heart. It took me many months of having sex with random guys and trying to find myself before it finally hurt less..
Cut forward to January when I meet another guy, we'll call him Robert. Robert was unlike any other guy I'd ever known. He clicked with me instantly, I am so sexually attracted to him, we have the same sense of humor, we can talk for hours, we are interested in the same things and always have something new to talk about. He makes me feel good about myself, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him.
I had been dating Robert for about 5 months before I see that James added me on Facebook again. Against my better judgement, I accepted him. We talked for a while, and soon, we began talking every day again. He asked me out on a coffee date, and I went with him. We ended up lying in the grass together after talking about how weird everything was, but there was still a crazy amount of sexual tension. I told Robert about this after, and I knew that he wasn't going to approve. He told me that he wasn't comfortable with me talking to James anymore, and I agreed: it was a bad idea. I broke off all contact with James again, and I haven't been in contact with him since.
However, I still think about James so much. I am so in love with Robert, and I would never give up this relationship for anyone. I think there might be something wrong with me or something. Am I just addicted to destroying relationships? Am I just being dumb? | guy I used to date tried to get back into my life after I got into an amazing relationship, rejected him but can't stop thinking about him |
t3_rk9yi | AskReddit | What's the easiest/craziest/coolest thing you've done for money? (keep it clean, please) | Our high school district had a writing contest for all students in vocational classes, including the metal shop class I was in. We had to write a couple pages about the "Expected School-wide Learning Results" which were educational goals for the schools. The writers of the top 25 essays would get $200. I spent a couple of hours writing a simple essay where I basically defined them. I was probably the only student from our school who submitted one. I guess I was the only guy in metals class who could actually write. I wrote one of the top 25 essays and got my $200. I think I bought a Game Boy Advance. | Wrote an essay, got $200. |
t3_2wxftc | tifu | TIFU by using my SodaStream absentmindedly. | I drink a lot of carbonated water. I used to go through 2 twelve packs of La Croix every week before I purchased my SodaStream. This morning I decided I was going to make a liter bottle of Raspberry flavored water before work. Also important to keep in mind is that the CO2 cartridge that came with the device was still producing, but obviously running low.
There are warnings over virtually every soda stream bottle and all over the box for the SodaStream warning you not to put the flavoring in before you carbonate the water. However, I was in a hurry to get to work and absentmindedly did that exact thing. I realized what I had done before I carbonated the water, but I thought, "hey it's like 2 tsp. of water flavoring, not soda syrup, this should be fine."
I placed the bottle on the carbonator, locked it in place, pressed down the button to carbonate. Usually once it gets close to full there is a whistle. This time there was no whistle so I thought maybe it was because the carbonator was old and running out of CO2. So once it got to 5 "water drops," I stopped and gave it one or two more seconds of CO2 for good measure.
As soon as I pulled the bottle out away from the sodastream which unlocks the bottle from it. The bottle shot away from the SodaStream, with my hand under it, crushing my fingers against the granite counter-top and bukkake'd about 7/8th of a litre of raspberry flavored sparkling water all over me, and everything that happened to be within a 10 foot radius of where I stood. This included the mail for the day, my clothes where I was prepared to go to work, and underneath the upper cabinets.
I was already running late for work and this was made worse by the sudden need to clean the kitchen and myself before leaving. The ring finger on my left hand is swollen and stiff, and I still smell like Raspberries. | Absentmindedly made sparkling water with my soda stream without following the instructions; became the subject of a raspberry water bukkake. |
t3_3axa3v | relationships | Me [22 M] with my lover/gf [19F] and I'm having REAL trouble trusting. | I've known her for a little while now, we started out speaking a lot. Then we moved to hanging out. I feel like it's been a train ride, a huge explosion of dopamine and seratonin and I am falling for her REALLY HARD.
She is beautiful, smart, interesting, funny. And I have a stable job, a car and everything which would be good for her.
But I am finding it so hard to trust.
My first ex girlfriend was flat out abusive and the second was a popular tumblr boob girl who spend the two yeras I was being a father to her son fucking around with other men completely in secrecy. I want to believe this new girl is different, she says she likes me she says she wants me, I told her I was falling in love with her.
The issue is I have no trust, and I don't know how to build it. I haven't had any experience in building trust and right now I am too scared. | Please offer me advice to be able to trust this girl, she told me she wants to be around to see my pet snake grow up, which is like 2 or 3 years I need some advice. |
t3_3ykwe9 | offmychest | I almost ruined my college experience due to depression and anxiety | The title says it all. I was really anxious for some reason. I thought the source of my anxiety was from me doing stupid shit when drunk/blackout. I've been to counsellors, therapists and psychiatrists. I had friends disappear and never talk to me even when I did see them on occasions. It was weird. People got tired of my shit and they poofed like ghosts. I had really weird thoughts and felt strange in my own body. I thought my head was shrinking and was getting softer too. Other weird experiences were: I would be alone by myself and couldn't tell if my eyes were really looking at what I was looking at. I was feeling weird, confused and anxious. My eyes would twitch and my hands were weak that it fucked up my workouts. I can tell from other people's reactions that I wasn't acting normal. Literally people stayed away from me like I was a leper lol, it was fucked.
Recently I suspected that I might be magnesium deficient. I read online that a lot of people are magnesium deficient. Magnesium helps with anxiety which might help with depression. If you workout and don't keep a steady diet plus drink alcohol, you could be magnesium deficient. Even if you do keep a steady diet.. You could still be deficient. The magnesium that I took originally was magnesium oxide which is garbage. I went to CVS to get magnesium citrate. I shit you not that after taking it, I literally felt less anxious than ever before. My eyes didn't feel like it was carrying a thousand pounds anymore. Keep in mind that I did try to sleep well too. Anyways, I Am going to keep taking my magnesium because it has tremendously helped me. | Had anxiety all the time. Lost fake friends and people thought I was weird as fuck. Took magnesium and now I can function without being a complete weirdo. |
t3_2u2ybe | relationships | Me [23 F] with my roommate [22 F] 1 year, she woke me up for an important call but I was half asleep... Am I being a jerk or am I being reasonable? | So, I've been waiting for my old college (i'm transferring)... to call me for days about something important and urgent... and they finally call me back at eight in the morning.
I was DEAD asleep... Roommate woke me up and I could hardly form a sentence when speaking to her. I needed at least a minute to get up and put some clothes on.
She wrote the guys number down and I called back... left one message but forgot my phone number, so I had to look it up, call back and give him my number in a different message. I could still hardly talk at that point too and I had been up for a few minutes. Couldn't even remember my phone number.
I realized after getting up that I should have just taken the call but like I said... I was half asleep babbling incoherently.
Am I being a jerk, or could this situation been handled a little better on my roommates and the colleges part? | I was DEAD asleep... Roommate woke me up to talk to my old college about something important... and I could hardly form a sentence when speaking to her. I needed at least a minute to get up and put some clothes on. |
t3_2tijlr | relationships | Me [24 M] with my gf [26 F], 1,5 years together - Can you be in a successful long term relationship with a person who's not of your preferred body type? | Please don't try to boil this question just to this and assume I am some shallow asshole. I love my girlfriend, she's the greatest, most caring being on this planet.
I also find her sexy, she turns me on and our love life is amazing. Yet, she's not of my preferred body type (very petite, I like curvier) and this will probably never change. When she's not around, I often catch myself dreaming of her curvier friends rather than her. Nevertheless, I have been faithful and intend to keep it that way. This has not been much of a problem so far.
**My question is**: is this going to become an issue at some point? Has anyone been / is in a similar situation? | Girlfriend a bit too petite for my liking, will this become a big issue? |
t3_4fahmt | dogs | [HELP] Dog survived Sago Palm, still lethargic. Any experience? | I was watching my friends dog for a week when he ate through half of a sago Palm seed. Once I realized it was poisonous I took it away from him. He threw up most of what he had chewed whole pretty quickly after.
Took him to the vet, she said liver and kidneys were fine, and that his continued gagging was due to an irritated throat.
Two weeks later the dog is snorting, panting, and overall lethargic. We are incredibly worried about him. Do you think it is the sago palm poisoning or possible allergies or something else? Do you think he'll be okay? | if your dog ate sago Palm and survived, how long did it take for them to get back to normal? |
t3_1e8sqa | dogs | Opinions on adopting 2 yr old Lab/German Shepherd Mix | Someone in my neighborhood is about to give their dog away and I thought I'd take him in. This will be my first dog ever, but Im used to dogs and is comfortable around them. However, I never really trained one as my own. I've been doing research about how to approach training but I might have overlooked the responsibility part of giving it the attention he'll need.
I'm free for now, but I am getting a job soon and I know I should spend as time with him as possible in the beginning to get him used to a new owner. Then I will have classes in the fall. I live with my mom and sister who can probably take him for quick walks every 3-4 hours on their breaks. I feel bad about leaving him in a crate for so long so my concern is really about making sure someone is always around. | first time owner concerned about dog receiving proper time to adjust to new owner. What to do? |
t3_vtao5 | relationships | My boyfriend is becoming severely depressed ever since his parents have divorced and I have no idea what to do. | During this past December (around Christmas) my boyfriend's mother has had an affair with an old family friend and my boyfriend (19) and I (female, 17), have been pressured in hiding the secret when we went Christmas shopping for his dad and they started making out in front of us in his father's truck.
Over the months (we've been dating for about a year) his parents obtained a divorce and split, last week his mother married the family friend. My boyfriend and his now step father, engaged into a physical fight about two weeks ago landing step dad in the ER (Step father started it at about 3am).
The depression my boyfriend has gone into ever since his parents split has effected our relationship to the point of him getting violent with me verbally and physically violent with friends and people he used to get along with great that he has grown up with. I have no idea what to do to help him. | Boyfriend is violent with everyone and in a depression, I really want to help him but don't know how. |
t3_13oplj | relationships | Boyfriend M[26] looks at porn despite the fact that I F[21] am upset by it and won't have anal sex with him. | My boyfriend M[26] and I F[21] have been together for 2 years and lived together for about a year. He has been wanting me to have anal sex with him, in which I've tried 3 times, resulting in feeling violated and lots of tears.
He keeps looking at porn claiming it is because I won't have anal sex with him and he can be satisfied by just watching it. It really upsets me that he looks at porn so I've told him many times that I feel de-valued, cheated on and completely disrespected when he does it.
I've taken steps with him to get to the point where I might be comfortable with it in the future (toys and whatnot) but I have trouble seeing it happening. The fact that he won't stop looking at porn is taking a huge toll on the relationship so I've offered to give him whatever videos or pictures of me he would like (but I'm afraid it won't be enough). I need some advice, is he asking for too much? Or am I too much of a prude? | Boyfriend looks at porn when it upsets me because I won't have anal sex. Tried a few times, offered other alternatives besides porn but afraid it's not enough. |
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