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t3_2yrg6z | jobs | So I got a call after 3 interviews and 7+ weeks of radio silence.. I need some input. | Hi all,
I am hoping to get a job with a pretty small company (80 employees) and the hiring process has been pretty strange. I had a quick phone interview with the top person at the company back in December. Shortly thereafter I completed a first interview with the top 5 people in the company. A week later I was invited back for a second interview, where I met with a few more people. At the second interview they invited me back for a third interview to meet with a few other folks, which I did a week later. After my third interview I didn't hear a peep for 7-8 weeks, even though I started calling my main contact (the top guy at the company) every week or so. Each time I would call his secretary would say he would like to talk to me but was very busy, or something along those lines. Last week his secretary emailed me and invited me in for an hour long appointment to "go over a few things." I've never experienced something like this before. What do you guys think is going to happen at this meeting? | Got called in for a meeting after weeks of silence and three interviews. |
t3_2ynkm2 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [20 /F] for a year now, she wants to explore other options | I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now. We can see life together and we both tell each other that we love each other. I've graduated school and I'm working in my career, making a stable income, living in my own apartment while she's still in school.
Some background as to what lead up to this issue: She's only been with a few guys while I've been with a few more girls and she feels the need to have sex with a couple more guys before she feels ready to "settle down". She says that she loves me and sees herself ending up with me in the end but she wants to "experience more of life" first. Currently she's torn because she says that she's very happy in the current relationship, but at the same time she really wants to experience other men a couple more times. She says that she sees us getting married in the end.
I'm a little confused as to what to think and how to react. I asked her to describe how she would like the entire thing to play out and she says that she would want us to take a break, she would find a guy and then a few months later we would get back together. I am no so enthusiastic about that however I can't stop her.
Is this simply a part of her growing up? I'm not sure what to do about this because I do love her and I do see a life together with her. | Girlfriend and I love each other, but she wants to hook up with a few more guys before settling down with me. |
t3_2z2xep | tifu | TIFU by wanting to go home too badly | Yesterday at the bus stop after class at my college, I was waiting for the bus to get me to the train station so I can return home.
Then, this cute girl I have never seen before at the stop comes up and we started to have a nice conversation. We have the typical college conversation of what your major is and other things. We exchange laughs and everything was going well, until the bus came.
The bus at the time I get on it is always full to the brim, I have to stand up in it and try to not bump into everyone.
The girl says, "Hey the bus looks pretty full, want to stay with me here until the next one comes?"
I say, "No, if I don't get on now I will miss my train." (Note: there are a lot more trains after mine that go to my stop) And before she can say anything else or before I got her number, I jump onto the bus and take off.
I waved at her and she waved very slowly back with a confused and upset look on her face.
I was basically oblivious to what just happened until I got onto the train and hung my head in shame for the whole 1 hour ride. | My engineering side showed itself |
t3_4nnhc9 | relationships | I am a 22F who is terrified to get back in the dating world with HSV | I found out I had HSV in March and I contracted it from my current "boyfriend" who had no idea that he had it. It did not take me long to accept that I had incurable Type 2 Herpes. I never blamed him and had no animosity towards him. I was fine because I wasn't going through it alone and I had my boyfriend's support and he had mine. However, over the past month our relationship has been strained. It is obviously going downhill very quickly and I truly believe there is no fixing it (for reasons other than HSV). I've tried to make things work with him because I felt that I had no other options and was trapped, but I realize I need to move on.
It's at this time I am having breakdowns and having a hard time accepting that I will have to go back out into the dating world with this "baggage". To say I'm terrified is an understatement. I am a tall, beautiful, smart, goofy girl, but I'm scared that when I tell the person I'm dating, none of that will matter. I know the stigma around Herpes, but I also know the facts (like how common it is and how it can be controlled with medication). I know this is a conversation I will eventually have to have with someone, but just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I know not to wait until we are moments from getting intimate, but I can't help but think I need to get the conversation out of the way sooner rather than later. I don't want either party developing real feelings, only to decide this is a deal breaker, and someone ends up hurt.
I've looked at sites like positivesingles.com, but I'm not paying $20 to find someone who won't judge me or limiting my pool of options. | How should I go about dating with HSV? And when/how should I inform the person I'm dating? |
t3_35ivs5 | relationships | Me [28/F] have been with my BF [27M] for 3 weeks and we might have broken up over my ex! Help Please?! | I've been seeing this guy for 3 weeks, tonight he was supposed to meet my parents... my ex happen to come around with some of my other friends... we get on ok... so my bf arrives greats everybody and when my ex extends his hand my bf ignores him, he says why is he here? I told him he was just a friend he then asked if he was invited and I told him again he was just a friend then he asked if my ex had any "friends" there when he met my parents... then he left... I tried to talk to him outside and he told me I "belittled" his opinion which is why I find him leaving extreme... I told him he wants me to change my past and I can't... he said he doesn't need me to change anything he just needs me to leave him alone, told me I didn't do anything wrong and wished me "ALL THE BEST"... Some of my friends are saying it's a sign he's controlling, others think that to him meeting my parents was a big deal and I offended him and made him feel like I was less important... I really like this man and have shared more about myself with him than anyone before..I believe he mean it and wasn't trying to manipulate me, i think he was hurt by it... did I do something wrong? is he controlling? anyone had anything like this? SORRY ABOUT HOW IT'S WRITTEN. I'M NEW | BOLD New Boyfriend was hurt by fact my ex was there when he was to meet my parents.. Is he Controlling or did I do something wrong? |
t3_4e8n4w | relationships | [23F]My bf [26M] is always horny and its affecting our relationship and his self esteem. | My bf and I have been together for 4 years. We have great sex but I am not always horny like he is. He seems to be horny anytime we're together and sometimes cant control himself and initiates foreplay. Sometimes i get really angry when hes being too persistent and then he gets mad at himself for being persistent and not listening to me. It makes him feel horrible when I have to repeatedly say no. He questions if I still find him attractive or if I still love him, which I do. I'll admit I don't get aroused as often as I used to but that has always been the case in my long term relationships. Sometimes I engage in sex purely just to pleasure him even if I don't want to. I just don't want him to keep feeling bad about this, he has a lot going on as is. Do I keep having unwanted sex to make my bf happy? | bf is always horny, I am not. He feels crappy about it. Do I keep having sex to make him happy |
t3_2syjtv | Advice | I really fucked up and let out a rumor, now my friends hate me | I was really tired today and I didn't think twice when someone asked me why my friend had this... nickname. So I told them the backstory, not really thinking about it. It was a pretty crude backstory involving a whip and his girlfriend, and I didn't say anything but that there was a whip involved. They put two and two together.
My friend was in the same art class and he told one of my friends, who doesn't like me. He promptly told the girl about what i'd said. Frankly no one else really cared/even knew, but everyone made it into a big deal.
The rest of the grade doesn't care and thinks that the backstory is just a joke, but shit I fucked up. Fucked up big time, and all because I was too stupid to keep my mouth fucking shut.
I want to apologize to her but I have no idea what to say. Fuck me. Also the nicknamed friend is pissed off at me. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuuuck. Don't know what to do, I think that if I apologize i'll fuck it up even more. | Typical highschool drama |
t3_2ffx8v | tifu | TIFU by not remembering a customer | So, context. I currently have summer job working in a local amusement park in a small town within Northern Ireland. One of the requirements for this job is to operate the ghost train carts as they go in one door and come out the other, while allowing customers on. Using a operating desk, with three buttons on it, i am able to control when cars go in, when the ones in the middle can be moved up and when the ones that have just come out the bottom (with people in them) can be moved up once the customer has left the cart. So...When the customer comes out the bottom door of the ghost train, they are about a 20ft gap away from due to the space for the other carts to take up. Because of this I try to make them leave their cart asap to prevent another coming out and crashing into them, and some times i'll press the button to control that cart just a tad to move it so they get the idea to move out quickly. One day a woman comes out the bottom of the ghost train....and just sits there. It's a busy day, im trying to deal with a lot of customers, and I have 6 other people breathing down my neck trying to get on. I tell them I need to get this woman off before they can go on. So, i hit the bottom and shunt her car while she's only starting to try and sit up, she looks shocked at me. I do it again, she looks even more shocked. I start staring at her, implying "please hurry up. you're taking your time" and she slowly moves her way out of the car, grabbing the bars around her and slowly pulling herself out. The I notice something odd, a man starts hugging her as she exits the cart, as if she can't stand...and then I remember. I look behind me, and there lies the wheelchair she asked me to look after while she got on the ride. She said her husband would collect it after the ride was done... and in my rush I had forgotten who she was and that she had cerebral palsy. I felt disgusting. | I tried to get a woman out of her ghost train cart quickly by shunting it, I forgot she was disabled. |
t3_3a6cgb | tifu | TIFU by making a joke about computer science students being autistic. | I'm taking Computer Science I over the summer at my school and a lot of the people in my class are very weird, constantly talk over professor, or try to prove they know more, or some don't talk at all and pick their nails. I told my mom that everyone's got it wrong the whole time engineering students aren't the autistic ones, it's the computer science studies. She was having a pretty bad and she's been under a lot stress lately and she's been pretty upset with me about my academic performance last semester, and that I've ket some struggles I've had a secret from her. She told me I might not want to joke about it, and I said "What, am I autistic?
Turns out I got diagnosed as PDD-NOS as a young child, and my parents didn't want me to have to live life with a label and they just treated me like a normal kid. And they just kept a close eye on me than they did with my siblings. And that the reason a lot of times I got lesser punishments from my parents for things I did, was because they understood I was a bit "different". Like because I don't have a lot of friends whenever I asked if I could hang out with a friend the answer was almost always a yes, with few questions asked. Now a lot things I struggle with in life make sense, but it also feels good to know that there's a reason I struggle with some of the things I do. | I made a joke about all computer science students being autistic. Then my mom told me that I was autistic and they kept it a secret from me, because they didn't want me to be labeled. |
t3_2l6dwi | relationships | I [26 M] had made plans with my girlfriend [25 F] a month in advance and she bailed 3 days beforehand to go to a party alone. | So a bit of background: I'm 26, she's 25. We've been dating for nearly 2 years and we live together. I work full-time and she's a student. This is a throwaway.
I had bought tickets to a special event about a month in advance, which was of considerable importance to me. She was my date. Fast forward to 3 days before the event and she asks me if it's ok if she attends a student party that night. I explain to her how important this event was for me and that she had plenty of chances to attend parties later throughout her school year.
We fought about it and I kind of lost my temper. She listed reasons why the party was important to her, I listed reasons why she shouldn't renege on our plans. Despite everything I said, she told me she was sorry but she was going to the party.
Here's the kicker: she told me it was a student-only party and that she couldn't invite me. It threw me into a bit of a rage and I told her I wasn't cool with the idea at all.
I ended up going to my event with a close friend and she ended up going to the party. I'm not the clingy type and I generally don't care if my girlfriend wants to spend a night alone. We both value our space and freedom. But it seems really inconsiderate, given we had this night set in stone and that her decision expressed a general disregard for my feelings despite her being overly-apologetic after the fact.
It's now two days after the event and I feel torn about the whole thing. It's hard for me to drop this kind of thing. What do I do? | I made special plans for us months in advance, my GF backed out 3 days before for a college party. What do I do? |
t3_37wus2 | tifu | TIFU by having a one night stand with a thief | So I go out with a bunch of friends to a bar last night. Like most nights I drink before so I don't buy too many over priced drinks. I walk in the bar and immediately see this tall beautiful women with curly hair cut to her shoulders. A "bob" if you would. She is trying to get a drink, and horrible at getting the bartenders attention. So I walk over, make a introduction, and proceed to assist in getting her a drink. After 20 minutes of talking I convince her to come back to my place. We leave, and go back to my house. We immediately go to my room and proceed to get our rocks off. Later on the following morning I get awoken by my neighbor knocking on my window at 6:30 AM. He explained to me that he had to leave for a plane flight, and needed someone to watch ANOTHER neighbors baby until she gets off work at 8 AM. So of course I obliged his request. I get back at 8 AM. Everything seems normal. My weeds where I put it. My computer is fine. EXCEPT the heartless wench took my favorite pair of Black Levi 511's & Sublime T-Shirt. WHO THE FUCK STEALS FUCKING PANTS. I wear those fucking pants 3 times a week. Now I will never see them again. RIP Black Levi 511s & Sublime TShirt | Had one night stand; awoken to perform emergency babysitting; returned; Favorite Black Levi 511s & band Tshirt missing. Lady also missing. |
t3_1fbmig | relationship_advice | I'm having issues with myself after 7 months of a relationship. | I'm a 19 year old guy who's had a fairly shitty life. I've had maybe one or two relationships before, which ended quickly. 7 months ago, one of my friends and I started dating. But recently, things (in my perspective) have gone down hill. I have this friend, and she's started talking to him a lot. Always joining his server, always in a Skype call with him, etc. I approached her about the situation a few days ago, saying I thought I saw a spark between them. She said there was no spark between them (to her), but she didn't know about my friend. I'm really worried about where this is going to go. I don't want to let her go. because I really, really like her. A lot. The only time I get to see her is on campus, and can't see her over the summer. Reasons still unknown. I just want some advice from someone who has maybe been through this before? I'm afraid if I look into this anymore, she could lie to me or something. I've been a depressed person all my life. Not sure if that helps... (Also I have high anxiety, so something that could overload me like this could bring on an attack.) | Gf is hanging around another guy a lot, I don't know what to do. |
t3_4et195 | relationships | I [18F] with my boyfriend [18M] of one year, went to a concert with my ex and three other friends, boyfriend brings it up in arguments | (Throwaway & I'm sorry if I ramble here)
So when me and my ex broke up we already had a concert booked but we stayed on good terms and we are each in year long relationships now. When we went to it, I'd been with my boyfriend for two months and it was going great. We had a relatively small fight about me going but it was short-lived and we talked it out.
Anyways, I feel very guilty because I booked a ticket to another concert and I didn't know who I'd be going with. It turned out the only people I knew going were my ex, an old friend, a new friend (the girlfriend of my boyfriend's friend) and one of her friends. My boyfriend and I have argued about this countless times and I know it was wrong of me but I spent the entire night with my new friend and her friend.
Recently, my boyfriend told me he still doesn't forgive me for this and he uses it to get one over me in current arguments. Is this fair? All my life I've found it very easy to remain on good terms with exes and this one is part of my group of friends. I can't understand why it's as wrong as it is but he and his friends still occasionally talk about it behind my back. Since his friends and I have become close this puts me in a very uncomfortable position as a couple of them have said that they would have broken up with me for this.
I feel terrible about it but I don't know if it's justifiable to bring it up in every argument where it's irrelevant. Am I insensitive or is he wrong to do so? And am I really as awful as he says I am?
I'm also very hung up on the fact that he won't ever forgive me when I've apologised so many times and I actively avoid my ex now (who has been a close friend for years). Is it normal to be unable to forgive your s/o? | Went to a concert with my ex and some friends, boyfriend says he cannot and will not forgive me and throws it in my face to win arguments. |
t3_3thk3l | personalfinance | Inherited Beneficiary IRA- need advice | Hello PF,
My mother passed away earlier this year and I inherited $130,000 in the form of a Beneficiary IRA. I have two older brothers who also received the same amount. A little background info on me: 29(m), single with a 3y.o. daughter, no debt, car paid off, several months in an emergency account and about $25k cash. Make 60k/yr and live in a house I inherited.
So far I have left the money in the care of the financial advisor she was using. I think he charges .75% (need to double check that number) a year to manage the money.
Since this is a tax-deferred account, and Uncle Sam wants his money, I'm required o start taking distributions from this account in the near future. I'm fine with that.
My issue is that I'm getting conflicting advice on what to do with this money.
The financial advisor thinks it's best to only take the minimum distribution. Obviously if I took all the money out, I would lose a significant amount to taxes that COULD be earning interest instead. I do realize he has a financial interest in me keeping the money in the IRA account so he gets more commission.
I also spoke to a CPA to make sure my financial situation was good and there wouldn't be any surprises. She recommended that I take out MORE than the minimum required distribution. Her reasoning is that I am likely to have a higher tax rate in the future, so I should get the money out now and put the money into my Roth IRA and other instruments. | Beneficiary IRA account. Financial advisor says to leave it and take the minimum required distribution, CPA says to take more out now to avoid a higher tax bracket later. |
t3_nfyco | dating_advice | Trying to find a type of girl. | Throw-away because my ex is on reddit.
Early 20's male.
I was just wondering if anyone here (or in the other subreddits) could help me out or give me some advice.
I'm almost finished with college and lately I've been trying to find a girl to start a relationship with, but without much luck. I broke up with a girl recently whom I really enjoyed being with, she was my "type". She had a lot of similar interests and sense of humor but our relationship just wasn't that important to her.
I think it's because the type of girls I'm into don't really hang out at bars etc. So my question is where can I go, or how do I meet, girls who aren't into that whole 'party' scene? I'm not a shut in or anything and it's not like I don't enjoy going out or to a bar. I just prefer to do other things. I, obviously, enjoy Reddit and other facets of the internet (video games, nerdy stuff in general). For all I know I could be wrong but I just don't know of a place or event I can meet this type of woman at.
I know I probably sound like every guy on the internet and I can't really help that. However I'm confident when it comes to women, and I know that I am also fairly attractive too. The biggest gripe I have is that all the women I come in contact with are all immature, vein, or only concerned with getting shit-faced.
I am trying sites like Okcupid and such and I'm trying to go out more and anywhere in general. I was just curious to see if there is something I was missing or not doing that could improve my chances of meeting women. | Where can I find women as nerdy/dorky as I am? |
t3_3ssm4p | cats | My Dad Is Threatening To Put My Cat Down Because He Pees In The Basement | Okay, so we've been trying to sell our house. I don't want too, but whatever my dad wants, it happens. We've had over 40 showings, but not a single offer.
Anyways,
One of our cats, Ging pees in the basement. We have carpet right now, but my dad wants to put in hardwood. I think this is a terrible idea, because he will still pee there and ruin the wood, but he is still doing it.
Today, I woke up and heard everyone yelling at each other. My parents have decided the cats should go outside a lot now. Here's the thing: Last time we tried this a few months back, they ran away for a night. My sister, Lauren was up crying about it. It was a tough night. But, they came back.
Now, my mom and dad are letting them out.
And the worst part, is that a few minutes ago, my dad said that he will take Ging to the vet and put him down if he keeps peeing.
I told him that if he even tried anything like that, I would do everything I can to stop it, including calling the police. he just laughed at me and said "it's his house."
I'm freaking out here. I'm afraid he will put down our young, healthy cat because he doesn't like him, and I feel he only wants him outside, because he secretly wants them to die.
Help, please. What do I do? | Dad wants new hardwood floor even though one cat pees on it, he now lets them outside even though last time they ran away, and said he would put down one of our cats if he keeps peeing. |
t3_3ixxkz | tifu | TIFU by charging my phone. | TIFU: Today I fucked up by charging my phone
I'm very new to reddit so apologies in advance..
So recently this exchange student has been staying at my house as he came out here to visit some friends. He is really clueless as being from another country so he doesn't really understand things. He's going to be a sophomore and I'm going to be a junior in high school.
Me and my family were going to be going out of town for a few days so I told him he needed a different place to stay while we were going to be gone.
He still hadn't found a place to stay the night before me and my family were leaving. But me, him, and another friend went to hang out anyway. My phone was almost dead so I left it home to charge.
By the way I smoke weed quite often and I've been having sex with a girl from my school which keep in mind I live in a state where marijuana is illegal.
So as we're all hanging out my friend got a text from my phone telling me I needed to come home right away to figure out a plan for the exchange kid.
On our way home it crossed my mind how many horrible texts I'd sent and received from my friends talking about sex, weed, and any other horrible things a teenager could think of.
When we got home I knew I was in deep shit. There was no covering my tracks, my mom had clearly read the texts between me and the girl I'd been fucking.
I have really strict parents so I got yelled at and punished all while the exchange kid sat downstairs listening to the whole thing.
Now up to present day and I've been grounded for one week out of like four and I'm not allowed to hang out with any of the same friends. | Left phone at home to charge. Mother knew password (because somehow she saw me do it enough). Now my parents know they're innocent little boy is an all around shitty person. |
t3_3tt0vs | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] 3 years, I'm having problem find myself interested in sex. | Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years over the past year I've been finding myself disinterested in sex for short periods of time. Most of the time if my boyfriend is really trying I just give in even though I'm not interested. In the last two month or so its change to me not being interested at all. I've ask before for him to kind of back of and let me initiate but that only lasts a few days and I don't find my self interested in that time. So recently instead of just not really acting interested I said "I don't want have sex" so he just keeps trying and I gave in cause I felt bad about what I had just said. After that I've just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Then about a week and a half later I seem disinterested and he asks if I want to I say I don't so he keeps trying and when he is not getting anything he says 'just a quickie'. I found myself really annoyed at him for saying that cause I don't see how a 'quickie' is going to make any difference to me not being interested. I've found myself not wanting to sleep in the same bed as him cause I don't want to have him keep on trying. How do I turn this around and find a way to be interested again? | Boyfriend finds out I'm not interested in sex so asks for a quickie. I find my self annoyed and not wanting to sleep in the same bed cause I want him to stop try to initiate sex when I'm not interested. |
t3_53e9pm | relationships | Me [21 F] with my best friends [20-21 F's] of 3 years are racist/homophobic | My 5 closest friends and I are all white. We became friends when we met freshman year, we are now seniors in college.
We moved in together for our final year, and, as it happens, we've all become closer and more comfortable with each other, and started acting like our true selves when at home.
They drop n*** a like it's no one's business, occasionally with the -er when they want to be especially crude, or when talking about someone they don't like. They make your typical and boring "jokes" about hooking up with black men, as well as other "jokes" about other people of color. Most recently, apparently "jokes" about Jewish people and the Holocaust have started to become "funny" again. They also love to call each other dykes, lesbian lovers, fa**ot, and other gay slurs.
I am a queer woman, they are all straight. I do not feel safe or comfortable around them expressing my sexuality, and have repressed it since moving in.
A couple of them are also extremely rude about people who are slightly or more so over weight, despite not being particularly thin themselves.
They watch their language when we are outside of the house, but when at home, every other sentence is some sort of gross joke about overweight, black, Jewish, or gay people.
They know how I feel about this from prior conversations back when they first started to say n*** a and fa**ot, and they either do not care, or they forgot. I live with these people, so avoiding them isn't really an option.
I would love to cut them out of my life, but then I am running away from the issue and condoning their behavior. Some advice on how to call them out in a constructive way would be greatly appreciated! | Help reddit, my friends are racist/homophobic! |
t3_4d90m8 | relationships | My boyfriend (m27) opening bar and would like to hire waitresses dressed in skimpy dresses. I ( f27 ) feel uncomfortable with this. | We have known each other for 6 years and dated for less than 1 year. My boyfriend will soon be opening up his own bar. I am really proud of of what he has accomplished so far. He works so hard for the both of us. He tells me he wants us to have a comfortable life where he can provide for us. I really appreciate what he does and how caring and thoughtful he is.
He told me that he would get the waitresses to dress in short black dress that reveal a bit in order to make good sales. Apparently sex sells. I really feel uncomfortable with the idea that he will be working with girls dressed in that manner. Showing off their breasts and short dresses.
I told him it would make me uncomfortable. As a girl I do compare myself to other girls. He told me that he loves me and that I should have nothing to worry about. It's not that I don't trust him but I don't know if I can trust the girls. I have been cheated on in the past so I worry that his bar would be a perfect environment for that to happen.
I can't stop worrying about it. Am I over reacting? I don't know how to deal with it. | Boyfriend going to hire waitresses and have them dress in skimpy dresses to maximize sales at his new bar. This makes me uncomfortable. |
t3_2saa4l | relationships | Me [26F] with guy [32M] I've dated for 2 months, broke up and regrets | I'm 26F and have been seeing 32M for 2 months. My bday was on Monday and he took me out for a nice dinner on Saturday, but no card or anything which was fine. He was going to be leaving town on Wednesday and so I asked him if I could see him before he left. My actual bday was on Monday (yesterday) and we had agreed to meet up that night to see each other before he left town for a week trip. Monday rolls around and I get no text or anything to say happy birthday, but i assumed I'd see him that night so it wasn't a huge deal. I texted him when I was through with work and he replied back saying that a pipe broke in his building and he had to work late and wouldn't be able to see me, with no plan to see me the next day. I thought it was strange he didn't say happy birthday or anything and that he didn't let me know sooner about the pipe burst, having to work late, etc.
I talked to a friend and decided I needed to end it with him because I was on the fence already. I called him and we had a pleasant convo in which he still didn't say happy birthday when I ended it. I didn't make it about that but said we weren't well matched. I don't think we had amazing chemistry. He said he was completely surprised by it and it came out of left field. I asked him why he didn't say happy birthday at least and he said "I gave you a nice present and don't need to say it again." I apologized and thanked him for dinner again. Then I hung up and we left it at that. I still don't think I was asking for too much and I don't get why he was surprised that I'd want to end it. He also could've let me know earlier in the day about the pipe burst and his not being able to see me that night. Was I being inconsiderate? | Not sure if I made a mistake breaking up with him, was I asking for too much for him to say happy birthday on my actual birthday? |
t3_1vtlv5 | relationship_advice | I've (20F) been dating my boyfriend (19M) for 1 year and he still can't decide if he loves me? | First, let me explain. We were best friends for 2 years before we started a friends with benefits situation. 4 months later we decided we had the feels for each other.
I don't want to make this too long so I'll cut to the chase. Been a good relationship so far, few bumps in the road like most. Very supportive of me, but really sucks at comforting me when I'm crying (which I guess is relevant since I cry a lot). Smart, funny, handsome. All around a very good guy.
The problem is, we've been together for a year on top of 2 years of friendship and he still can't tell if he loves me or not. Maybe it's just weird to me because I feel like love isn't something you have to think about, it's just something you feel. Now don't get me wrong, I know he cares about me A LOT and he would be pretty sad if we broke up. But caring a lot for someone isn't the same as being in love with them.
Every other relationship I've had has always been me loving the other person more than they love me. I don't want this relationship to be like those. I want an adult relationship where I love them and they love me. So I guess my question is would you stay in a relationship that has been going on this long if the person STILL can't decide if they love you or not? | boyfriend of 1 year dating and 2 years friendship doesn't know if he loves me, should I cut my losses? |
t3_494ynh | Advice | Is it wrong to quit my job because I don't feel comfortable? | I work at a fast food restaurant which has caused me a lot of stress recently. I have filed two police reports now for two different reasons. One because a random man followed me and threatened to destroy my car because I tapped my breaks on him after riding my ass. And the second one because someone broke my side mirror and placed a sharp piece behind my back tire so that I would run over it and pop the tire.
I don't believe it was the stranger who vandalized my car though because these two incidents were a month apart. However, we recently hired this new guy who is probably the dumbest person I've ever met. He's whiter than snow and talks like he was raised in the ghetto.
There are a couple of reasons as to why I think he did it. Recently I found out he is the older brother of an old friend who now hates my existence (a different story). He confronted me about it his second day being there and after that didn't talk to me at all except when he asked about my car. At first I had no problem talking about it but it got suspicious after he started asking about it everyday, asking about the model, year, and color. As if reassuring which car was mine. After he would confirm which car was mine he would stop talking to me and walk away and wouldn't say anything to me the rest of the day.
I usually watch him leave because I got suspicious of him but last Friday he left early and I wasn't able to see him leave because I was with customers. This is when I believe he did it. There aren't any cameras and the managers and the police couldn't do much because I have no proof. Regardless whether it was him or the crazy stranger I don't feel comfortable going to work anymore and I would just like advice as to what you would do. | I believe the new guy vandalized my car and I don't feel comfortable going to work anymore. |
t3_47shc2 | relationships | Everything is perfect with my [29F] bf [31M] of seven years except for the "One Big Thing" | So. Where to start. Dan and I have been together just over seven years, living together for one. We are great together, and recently the topic of marriage & kids has come up. We agree on the marriage thing, however not so much on the kids.
I have always said that I do not want them, but Dan would like to have some in the future. Right now, I am in a position where I COULD change my mind, but I cannot guarantee it. Dan is very certain he will not change his mind. I said I would be willing to foster as a compromise, but he is not too keen on the idea.
I would really appreciate if you could refrain from jumping straight to "break up with him", as what I would really like to know is if any of you have been in a situation similar to this & have been able to come through it.
Bear in mind, while we are willing to fight for this, we will not bring a child into the world that we both do not want 100%. I know we cannot have "half a kid" either.
I guess what I am asking is, is there a way that we can work through this? We are willing to do almost anything to stay together. Right now I am on the fence, I don't know if I really could change my mind, or if I just really want to so that we stay together. If any of you found a way to find a definitive answer I would appreciate your input.
Feel free to ask questions, & thank you for your time. | Boyfriend & I cannot agree on kids, want to know if anyone has ever been able to work through this |
t3_1pqf4i | relationships | I [18F] thought it would just be him[18M] and i going out, but he invited a long another girl? | We've known each other for around 4 - 5 years. We're best friends but we both fancy each other.
We went out to a halloween party together 2 days ago, we both got drunk, we had a good time. (Nothing sexual)
We had plans to go out this Wednesday to the movies for a while, he went out to lunch with a mutual friend, he came on facebook to tell me that she is coming with us.
I feel kind of annoyed, considering i thought it was just going to be us, and it seems to me like he's trying to make me jealous.
Confused, don't want to be hurt. What do i do? | Thought it was just going to be me and him out to the movies, nope. |
t3_1lbi7o | relationship_advice | This one stumped r/dating_advice. Any ideas from those hopeless romantics out there?? | Hi everyone!
I have a slightly unusual situation to run by you. I [F24] met a wonderful guy [M22] through a friend of a friend at a party several weeks ago. We clicked immediately, and got lost in conversation between the two of us for the next three, four hours at the party. He then offered to drive me home, but we detoured by a park with a beautiful view of our city's skyline, and, well, I didn't make it back to my own bed that night. We enjoyed a slow morning together when we woke up, complete with homemade breakfast, laughs, and a mutual feeling that we should see each other again.
Over the course of the next two weeks, we hung out another three or four times, with each time lasting so long it bleeds into a sleepover. I feel so intellectually inspired by this guy, and really admire his values, kindness, and sense of adventure. He's a professional artist and hustles like no one I've ever met to accomplish his dreams. He's also super dreamy, which doesn't hurt.
Only problem: after three weeks of knowing each other, he left on a work trip (working abroad in Europe) for three months. I'm not sure we had enough time for the spark of our mutual interest to take, but I am certainly very interested in keeping in touch and seeing what happens when he returns. However, I went abroad in college (he didn't), and I completely understand the transformative experience of travel and how much it can change you. It's not fair to expect a single thing out of him in regards to commitment.
That being said, he does have occasional email access over the next few months. How can I help keep him interested, without putting on too much pressure and seeming overly clingy/committed? I'm really involved and do a lot of active, interesting things, but I think it couldn't hurt to showcase my best self and try to keep things developing. | New love interest and I hit it off big time, but then he left for three months. How can I fan the flame without being too overwhelming? |
t3_xz808 | AskReddit | Help! I found a kitten trapped in the engine of a truck, what do I do? | Alright, I was walking through the parking lot of my friend's apartment complex (I am house sitting) when I heard a frantic meowing. It seemed to be coming from the truck. I spent about an hour trying to locate the owner of the truck, but finally I couldn't take it anymore and just crawled under the truck. I was able to stick my arm up into the engine and grab the kitten and did my best the gently remove it.
I left my number on the truck, in case the kitten belongs to them, and took it home with me. The poor thing is covered in dirt and motor oil, and is quite upset, but otherwise seems to be unharmed.
I have taken a damp washcloth and mostly gotten her cleaned off, but I don't know anything about taking care of kittens. ( I have always opted for adopting adult cats.) What sort of special care do kittens require? Should I take him to a vet?
Sorry if this is in the wrong subreddit, or seems kind of oddly written, I am confused, tired, and covered in motor oil, and not in a sexy way. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. | Rescued a kitten. Now what? |
t3_21zfo8 | relationships | I (28m) can't let go of my ex (31f). I love her so much. | I was the one who broke up with her. We wanted different things, she likes open relationships and I do not. I was falling head-over-heals in love with her and ended it to protect myself. The idea of her with someone else would crush me. She was the first person I ever truly fell in love with. She changed me, made me a better person in ways. I felt comfortable around her and loved every moment of it.
I can't stop contacting her. I send her a text every now and then, like once a week. I can't do the no contact thing for more than 10 days at a time. It's slowly getting easier. I'm trying really hard but I don't want to let her go. I want her to be happy. She deserves it. But I want to see her one last time, yet realize it would open the wound again.
I'm focusing on myself. I'm trying harder than ever to improve myself, make myself more independent. But the harder I try, the more I think of her as if she was helping me along the way. I'm my own worst enemy. At this rate I don't see myself getting better for many months. We only dated for 5 months and it's only been a month since we broke up.
I'm so lost and confused. I want help. | How can I let her go? How can I move on? |
t3_suvv6 | relationships | I need to end a relationship with a girl I'm not sure I ever loved and I want to attempt to remain friends... | I've made my decision and I realized over the past few weeks that I don't love my girlfriend of several months. She loves me, this I know for sure, but recently I've been separating myself more and more from her. After some thought, I'm not sure if I ever had feelings for her, it had been 3 years since my previous relationship and maybe I was just looking for someone to care for me.
Anyways, I know for sure I need to break up with her. The guilt of me leading her on is killing me, but I can't think of the right words to say or what situation I should come clean in. Don't get me wrong, I really like her, but more as a good friend, not as a possible life partner, so I want to put her down gently. I'm afraid of the possibility of rejection and losing her as a friend in the process, but I can't take the stress anymore. All I'm asking is, how can I confess that I don't love her in a way that things don't get ugly and we can remain friends? | Wondering how I can break up with and confess that I don't love my girlfriend but remain friends. |
t3_2tlrog | relationships | [19M] Been in a relationship with my girlfriend [18F] for one month. We both haven't gotten past second base because of a matter of logistics. How do build that sexual tension when logistics are an issue? | I've been dating my girlfriend for the past month and a bit more. It's clear that we're both into each other, and although I've went on like 6-8 dates with in total, we have yet to have sex, even though we both desperately want to and expressed interest to.
Problem is that it's hard to be physical with her whenever we hangout. As a guy, I express my sexual interest in her by touching -- and although she admits she enjoys it, she isn't a fan of PDA, which I completely understand and respect. We both live with our parents, we have no cars nor dorms, and living in a city it's hard to find an isolated place where it's comfortable for the both of us to proceed and have sex. We rarely even make out -- the last time we made out was three dates ago when we were isolated in a park at night!
It's clear that sex is the next step in our relationship and frankly, it's overdue for the both of us. How could I overcome this problem and find a place where it's comfortable for the both of us to express our sexual desires without feeling like it's PDA? | Both live with parents, no cars, no dorms. Dated for a bit over a month, want to have sex with each other, but logistically impossible. Girl is against PDA. Need ideas. |
t3_3ril4g | relationships | Me [28 M] with my neighbors[ 40 M/F] Dog let loose | Got a problem with my neighbors dog. When they are home they let it loose in the front yard. Its a small terrier but its very annoying that its running all over the street for 3 hours every evening. As soon as I open my door it runs up to me and just starts running around and wont stop.
Whenever I leave with my dog it basically harasses my dog in attempt to get it to chase or play. A long time ago another neighbor had a dog and would leave it out similarly, one day it ran up and bit my dog. My dog is a little bit scared now of new dogs consequently. I filed a police report against this neighbor (b). These new neighbors (a) have a smaller dog but I always worry that this dog will become territorial and eventually bite.
So as what to do? I called animal control, they dont work after 5, and there is a leash law in my city.
My wife is 4 months pregnant and is a teacher. Another small issue is that yesterday, while their children were out, it ran up to me, my wife and dog. My dog started whimpering and my wife got upset and sternly told the kids that they needed to put their dog away and this is not right. Snotty kids yelled back saying "their dog was free". Im not sure what came over her but she got upset.
Looking for advice. | I dont really know what to do with this. Neighbors dog out after 5 playfully, but aggresively harrases me, my wfie and dog whenever we go to the front yard. Not unsure what to do. Separate issue pregnant wife got upset and got after neighbors kids. |
t3_ybtwh | AskReddit | What should we be? | I go to a boarding school where you can get dressed up for Halloween, but have to wear the uniform if you opt not to. Last year, my bro and I went to a local Halloween store and bought borderline X-Rated costumes.. (Sexy Teddy and Private 69) and went as those. Our plan with two other friends was to go as characters from Pokemon.. probably including Nurse Joy and Misty, (to continue the theme of pissing off faculty) but I feel like we can do better. Reddit, what badass thing should the four of us dress up as for Halloween? | Four dudes at boarding school need something funny/badass to dress up as for Halloween. No holds barred. |
t3_44kbln | relationships | Please help...Do I stay or go!? Me [28m] and my gf [27F] argue loads. What do I do!? | We met three months ago, she was perfect. We had almost everything in common; same music, hobbies, likes and dislikes, everything was going great.
Then we had an argument. Just the one on a night out once, she ended up getting spiked, hospital > home > argue some more. Everything got sorted.
Fast forward a month; works night out. Having a great time, introducing her to my friends, gets a little tipsy, confesses to using class A drugs recreationally. This bothers me as a student of the legal profession. Voice my concerns... Massive argument, in front of friends, go our separate ways, she takes an overdose and almost dies. Hospital.. Again.
Tells me she suffers from bouts of severe depression. No biggie, I offer to be there for her. Work things out, all sorted, let's move on...
Fast forward 1 week.
We go out, couple of drinks, she kisses another woman. Tells me; "its fine because we're both bisexual"
Imagine my surprise to find out its not cheating if its same sex... Also imagine my reaction as a man who has never cheated on anyone...
Massive argument, she self harms, I call 999, police and ambulance. She carries on arguing and refuses treatment. She currently at my house, I'm at work.. Can't concentrate really. Massive headache, no sleep, 6am, 8hours to go. Tired. | constantly arguing with my gf of 3 month that does drugs... |
t3_2aeb4e | relationships | Me [26M] am finding it hard to accept my girlfriend [29F] of 2 years, masturbating everyday | We been together for over two years, we started with a great sex life (2-3 times a night) but slowly regressed to once or twice a week. My sexual drive has diminished due to stress at work (I am aware and fixing it) and during sex I feel she is unresponsive and just "lies there", but she says she loves having sex with me.
Just some background to our lives,
* both live in separate apartments, but she spends 6 out of 7 nights at my place
* she doesn't shower/bath at my apartment because we live very close to each other
* we drive to and from work everyday in a lift club (don't work together)
So in essence she spends max 2-3 hours a day alone by herself.
We were talking, not heated or anything, about masturbating and she says that she does it everyday.
I have a problem with this because she sleeps next to me almost every night and doesn't initiate with me when i am in the mood, then goes to shower at her place and masturbates. Isn't her masturbating killing her sex drive and I notice it during sex when she isn't responsive.
I have told her it upsets me and she says she will stop, but I never knew this was going on for 2 years how am I supposed to believe that she will just stop? The matter still feels unresolved on my side and I cant get over that, am I over reacting? | Girlfriend masturbates everyday, when I am sexually frustrated because she is unresponsive during sex which is infrequent |
t3_26lhqj | relationships | Me [about to be 20 F] with my FWB [28 M] for almost a year, and he's confusing the hell out of me. | Alright. So, about a year ago I decided to pursue a guy I thought was really hot. Let's call him Bob. We texted a lot at first, we finally met up for a second time, I got drunk and went for it. We decided to be friends with benefits. It was very simple at first. We both knew we were seeing other people. He had another FWB and I was going on dates with other guys. Unfortunately, I became attached as girls often do and confessed my feelings to him in December, which didn't work out. I buried my feelings and we continued on as if my confession had never happened.
Now though, I feel like our relationship has changed. He has introduced me to his friends, usually texts me everyday without me having texted first about silly things (Good morning, How is your day going, etc), holds my hand when watching TV, lays his head in my lap and tells me about his day, doesn't want to hear me "go on and on" about a date I went on, calls me a nickname from "our song" among other things, will ask me to come over and then not have sex to my dismay, compliments me a lot, and I'm going to meet his brother for the first time this week at an event. The list could go on. He's also just recently broken it off with his other FWB due to distance, so there's that.
All of my guy friends tell me he's into me, but I really don't think he is. I want him to be, but I can't get my hopes up. Maybe he's just a nice guy and I'm confusing it for something more? He's got all of these plans for his career, wants to travel again to other countries, and has a bit of an issue with our age difference, so I'm thinking he doesn't want anything more.
Anyway, I was wondering if any of ya'll have been in similar situations and could give me some advice. What your perspective is and so on. I'd also be glad to answer any other questions to give ya'll a better understanding.
Thanks! | FWB is giving me mixed signals and I don't know what to make of it. |
t3_erd5g | AskReddit | Everyone has called me a genius my whole life and it has set me up to fail in college. What can I do to become a better student? | I'm sure a lot of you can identify with being called "smart" all the time and cruising through high school without trying very hard. It's happened to me and because of that, I've somehow convinced myself that I don't need to study very hard because I should just understand everything instantly and if I don't, then it means I'm not "smart."
I've slowly come to realize that this isn't true and I'm surrounded by a host of genuinely smart people and hard workers, meanwhile I'm still trying to get through college as if it was a cake walk like high school.
I have a hard time studying because I've never done it seriously the last 20 years of my life. Even when I try to concentrate and study, I find myself convincing myself "yeah, I pretty much get this, I'll reason it out on the test..."
I was just hoping that someone else might have some insight as to how they overcame this barrier or maybe just some study tips. | I have a hard time studying because I burned through high school easily and haven't studied seriously for most of my schooling. |
t3_1th7cp | relationship_advice | So tempted to text her. (24f/30m/28?f) | I've been dating this guy on and off for 8 months. A huge issue we keep having is that his ex always seems to find a way back into his life. He told me that he stopped talking to her but the other night we were out at a bar with friends and she just shows up. He immediately goes outside and they start yelling at each other (idk what was said) then he leaves to go home. He told me that she was going to make a big scene but he doesn't know exactly why and that he left so she wouldn't.
I have her number (she contacted me a few months ago but I never responded) and I'm really tempted to ask her what is going on. I want to trust him but the situation seems so weird I feel like I'm missing something.
I just want to know if this is a really dumb thing to do, and if not how should I bring it up? | not sure if I should ask his ex what's going on with them. |
t3_lj4ce | AskReddit | How influential is Reddit, really? (second attempt) | I tried posting this question yesterday, but sabotaged it by making it too long-winded. Hopefully this somewhat more readable version (still a little long, sorry) will have more success. I think it's a question worth asking again.
What, in your view, is Reddit's influence both on society in general and on you as an individual?
Primarily, what Real World influence would you say Reddit really has? If one were to try to explain this influence to someone unfamiliar with Reddit, what examples would you give? Such as:
- specific interesting IAMAs
- specific examples of our involvement in various social movements (such as the Rally to Restore Sanity and OWS)
- specific examples of our involvement in helping right a particular injustice (such as exposing the identity of a criminal)
- any statistics or other hard data (Mods/Admins, please chime in)
- general perspectives on Reddit from outside sources (for example [how Reddit impacts news cycles](
Secondarily, how has Reddit influenced you personally? For example:
- Were you the recipient of a redditor's kindness that has changed your life in some way, small or large?
- Was Reddit instrumental in drawing attention to an injustice you suffered?
- Were you scammed via Reddit somehow?
- Did you find a job or lose a ton of weight thanks to Reddit?
- Did you receive a random act of pizza that meant significantly more than a pizza normally should?
The goal here is to compile in one place a variety of examples illustrating Reddit's power of influence, however weak or strong, personal or collective. Please, share your views. | How influential is Reddit really, for better or worse, in the world at large and/or your personal life, and what examples would you give to best illustrate this influence? |
t3_3qy7mf | dating_advice | Not sure what girl is doing... | So I'm 23 and I've been talking to this 19 year old girl everyday for the past 2 weeks. Haven't had chance to meet up yet (she lives in the next city and we're making plans soon) but so far things are good.
She's told me she's looking for a relationship and has trouble "holding a guy down". I've started to notice she's pretty clingy but I'm kinda putting up with it for now to see of it gets better. Yesterday on the phone she asked me how work was going, where I told her this weird girls been following me, pissing me off trying to get my number etc. I obviously wasn't thinking of it how she was, because she became really annoyed and grumpy with me. Later on in the conversation she told me that she's going out with another guy tomorrow night for Halloween, plans she's supposedly made before we started talking. Now here's the problem, this pissed me off which is weird because we're not actually together yet, but she's started saying that she would like it if she was mine, and yesterday she even said she loves me, yet when I ask her about being together so that she doesn't do shit like see other people, she said "maybe someday". I honestly have no idea what this girl is doing and its starting to annoy me, any suggestions/ideas? | girl strongly acting like she wants a relationship but acts kinda flaky when I suggest it, what do? |
t3_3fg0s5 | relationships | I'm [22M] no longer finding my GF [22F] attractive, stemming from insecurities caused by my parents. | I've been dating her for about 6 months. We hit it off immediately after meeting each other, the first day we met we sat alone and talked to each other for 8 hours, and I got nothing done that day. we both felt like we've known each other for all of our lives. This awesome connection lead to some really amazing moments + amazing sex within the first few months of us seeing each other.
Fastfoward to more recently. She's stopped putting in the effort to look attractive because we've gotten more comfortable and that she works a very demanding full time job. This I expected and completely understand. The thing is, the difference when she tries and doesn't try is pretty massive. She's not naturally pretty, but with a bit of make up she is definitely decent. (I have a theory if she followed some make-up tutorials she'd skyrocket in attractiveness).
One catalyst in this situation is when she came over and met my parents. After meeting her, I got into a fight with BOTH my parents as they both told me how she's not attractive enough for me. (This lead to screaming, hurling of furniture etc etc) It didn't shock me that both my parents could be so insanely immature, they're very traditionally Chinese and they seem to have absorbed all the most fucked up and terrible values of that culture. And although I defended my girlfriend, this situation really got to me, to know that people can tell that she's genuinely unattractive.
The thing is, she is an awesome girl, she's funny, intelligent, caring, kind of dorky, very different from the girls I've dated before, who's sole purpose of existence seemed to be to go out and take instagram photos of themselves and their food. But When I don't find her attractive, I find myself picking out the personality traits that I dont like about her as well (she's really lazy, she's a big pushover, etc etc.)
So what do you think reddit? Can I fix this somehow? Is there way that I can change myself so that I can find her attractive and make this work? Should I somehow address my concerns with her? | Parents made me insecure about my GF's looks, and now I'm starting to pick out the flaws about her. |
t3_2m3m60 | relationships | Update: My (23F) boyfriend (25M) of 5 months is convinced my dog has behavioral issues | Original post: | Ex and I tried to work it out, but it didn't happen. |
t3_1hjk8e | AskReddit | Help! I traded my car for a truck and now it won't pass smog cause of a Check Engine Light. What should I do to get the most money out of it? | I live in CA and my tags have now expired. Background Story: When I was about to sell my car, the guy who I was gonna sell it to had a truck (99 Ford Ranger 3.0L V6) and I agreed to trade for it, it didn't have the check engine light on at the time. My car was leaking water and had crapped out a couple times so I thought I was getting a better deal.
The codes the ranger reads are P0443 and P0303... I've tried everything... replacing the Canister Purge Valve, put in new wires and new spark plugs. I've had 2 different mechanics look at it and the truck is still reading that code. The last ditch effort will be to replace the canister purge valve again and if that doesn't work I am truly screwed. Also, I only have about $400 left to spend on it.
Any help reddit? Sorry for the long and technical explanation. | My truck won't pass smog, I've tried almost everything and I can't fix it. I live in CA. What should I do if I can't fix it? |
t3_1f6ru7 | dating_advice | 20m in love with best friend 21f | OK so i know this sounds like every post about guys loving that one girl that he will never have. but please hear me out. Ive known this girl for going on 6 years now, since we were in out sophomore year in high school. i was a fat ass, literally, and got no attention from the opposite sex what so ever, then she came to school. all the guys were hitting on her and shit and the two things that went through my head were 1. i have no shot with her. 2. i wonder if she smokes weed? So i summon the courage to go over and talk to her and and we hit it off, we had plans to go to her house after school and blaze. (turned out she lives down the street) thats what started our friendship and my love for her. fast foward to the last 2 years. last year we had a huge falling out to the point were we didnt talk for almost a year, and it crushed me. i was a wreck, my actions and my words are what caused this huge fight. i thought about her almost every day about how i lost my best friend, i was depressed and angry for the duration of the year, until i found a picture. it was a picture that was taken back in 2010 of me and her sittin on her bed just hanging out and being goofy. so i decided to call her. i apologized and expected to be hung up on, but she didnt, she said in same tone she always used with me when ever i was late and giving me shit for it "Ive been waiting for you to call." i was euphoric, hearing her voice and talking ot her on the phone killed my depression, and my anger. things are going great now but i cant help but feel nothing but love for her and have no clue if she feels it back for me, we have tried talking about it but we always get interrupted by other shit going on. i dont know if its just bad timing or coincidence. please reddit, help me figure out how to get get the girl of my dreams, the bonnie to my clyde. | in love with best friend |
t3_t6a1v | relationship_advice | Korean girlfriend is really pushing for us to have a fast marriage. | I am a 26 year old American English teacher in South Korea. Never have had any luck with women. This past December, I met a really attractive Korean girl. We have been going out for 5 months now.
She started talking about us marrying pretty soon after we started dating. I just went along and said "sure", not really putting any thought to it. She was an incredibly attractive girl that was into me. Things kept escalating until about a month or two ago. I gave her an engagement ring and a day or two after, I started stressing out and having minor panic attacks. I knew something wasn't right. Since then, we have broken up and got back together. But she still constantly says she's sad that we aren't getting married in June. She constantly calls me a liar, but then she says she loves me.
My real big issue is that I feel I have no one to really talk to about this. My friends and family are back in the USA. Another thing that really concerns me is that her father is really wanting her to get married fast. Why?!?!? I can't talk to her parents because they speak little to no English. I feel so alone and isolated.
Some of my red flags that are going off in my head:
* She wants to marry quickly and she is only 26 and attractive
* Her father wants her to marry quickly
* She seems very inflexible when I try to talk about other plans
* I am also worried about her money spending habits
* Got upset when I talked about our relationship with friends and family back home for advice
* Always asks me if "I love her?" which concerns me | Korean girlfriend wants to get married fast. Not sure really why. |
t3_1cc1ur | self | How do I start a career in coaching American Football? | Ultimately I would like to end up at either the NCAA or NFL level, but I'm unsure of what my first step should be to get into the coaching field.
I graduated from college with a B.S. in psychology 10 years ago, and have worked mainly in retail and tech support ever since. I have a small amount of coaching experience with Pop Warner and flag football from before I graduated, but I haven't had an actual paid position anywhere. I essentially need to start from scratch.
I see three different paths to try: get certified to teach and start at the high school level, apply for internships at college and professional programs, or go back to school in a sports related major. There are benefits and drawbacks to each path, and I can only choose one to start.
My main concern with starting at the high school level is being able to transition to a higher level once I've gained experience. Do college coaches hire people from the high school ranks? If so, how much experience is typical?
If I apply for internships, what kind of qualifications will be necessary? How often do coaches bring in people with basically no experience to work on a staff? How would I make myself stand out from the other people applying for similar positions?
If I go back to school, what should I major in? AFAIK there aren't any classes to take for coaching. Are there classes, volunteer credits, or extracurricular activites that could give me the opportunity to work with the football team and coaching staff?
Is there another avenue that I'm missing? I would definitely be interested in learning about other options to get into the coaching field.
I'm tired of working jobs where the only thing I look forward to is going home everyday; I want to do something that makes me look forward to going into work. I love football and have such a passion for it, but my passion alone won't be enough to get me my dream career. Help me Reddit, you're my only hope! | I have no coaching experience, I want to know how to become a football coach. Suggestions? |
t3_557ow8 | relationships | My ex-boyfriend(?) [31 M] broke up with me [27 F] after 1 month dating/relationship because he's not over his ex who broke up over 1 year ago. | I met this guy who pretty much clicked in every way and checked all the boxes (ambitious, treated me as an equal, great chemistry, thoughtful, intelligent). We were compatible personalities, he's an extrovert perceiver, I'm an introvert judger, both NT with similar ideologies on religion, kids, politics, other important stuff.
It's all good, I feel like given time and nurturing this could be something solid, and 1 month later, he breaks up with me with "it's not you it's me". We still talk post-breakup, and because I'm a direct person with no chill, I asked him what happened.
He said he's still not over his ex, who he broke up with more than a year ago but was in a relationship with for more than 6 years. Which is understandable, and I truly appreciate his honesty of cutting it off instead of letting it fester while he suffered silently.
However, I also wonder if while part of the problem may be that he isn't over his last relationship and insecurities, my own insecurity wonders if maybe I just wasn't enough? Like, if he liked me as much as I liked him, he'd have.. fought harder for us?
I'm still conflicted if I should still be around, maintain communication and hope he 'recovers' enough want to try again with me, a larger, more egocentric part of me thinks that this may just be an excuse to cut off what he doesn't want, and also why on earth should I wait for someone who can't be bothered to fight for us? I would really like for us to work, but I can't browbeat him into it, obviously.
So redditors who met their SO while still 'recovering' from a bad breakup, am I right to walk away or is there hope? | Boyfriend broke up with me after 1 month, citing not being over his ex & not wanting to be unfair to me. I really like him, but don't know if there's hope. Thoughts? |
t3_4b35g6 | relationships | Me [16 M] with my prom date [17 F], She said let's go as friends | I did a performance on my school's talent show two days ago. After I finished the performance, I took out my promposal poster and asked her out to prom.
She immediately said yes and looked so happy. After she hugged me, I had to return to my seat because the talent show had to continue. After the show, I took a picture with her and chatted with her friends. Then I left the school with my friends cheering me on. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yesterday she says this on my facebook chat:
F: Hey, so I'll go to prom with you...but I just want to make it clear that it's just as friends...nothing more
F: Sorry
What should I do now? I have intimate feelings for her, but saying anything rash would be idiotic. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_1qu2lh | relationships | Trying to reel in this girl (17) I (20) started talking to but I think she is still attatched to her ex | So this I'm going to make this as short as possible because I'm on my phone. ..
Basically, she is a girl I went to high school with and we had caught up with each other at my brother's girlfriend's house. To give you a little description of her; she is a tall, athletic, brunette who is a perfect 10 in my book. The first night we hung out, we were drinking heavily and I ended up blacking out and woke up next to her. I know we didn't have sex but that's all I know about that night. I texted her the next day and we've texted each other everyday since then. So It's safe to say we've been talking for about 4 or 5 weeks now, have hung out multiple times, no sex yet, just slowly getting to know each other. She tells me she likes me but I can tell she is very attached to her ex. They dated for almost a year, he took her virginity, and they broke up about 4 months ago. Also, he was a huge football player and I'm still taller than her but i have the body of a swimmer. So, to say the least, I'm somewhat confused. But! If reddit can give me some tips or advice on what I should do or what is probably going to happen, it would be GREATLY appreciated. | how I do reel in a girl that is still attracted to her ex? |
t3_3dxy9p | relationships | My [20M] sister [18F] is dating a [26M] coworker. | My 18-year old sister is dating a 26-year-old dude. Our parents don't know and telling them is completely out of the question. I'm 20M and live with my 23M boyfriend, so I'm not necessarily the best role model, but I think things through before I do them. I also recently became financially independent from my parents. This may have sparked my sister's rebellion. She wants to move out of my parents' place, so she got a retail job to help support herself. I don't blame her for this - our parents are controlling and kind of awful sometimes. But now she's dating this guy.
I haven't met him because I live in a different state. From what she tells me he seems like a decent guy and not a pervert - he's respectful of the boundaries that come with her youth, and has never dated someone this much younger than him before. However, he's super old - even I would be wary of dating a 26-year-old - and he still works in retail, which isn't a life I want my sister to end up in. She's supposed to be going to art school in the fall, but I'm scared she's going to flake on that with all the other changes in her life. Not to mention, if our parents find out about this guy, they'll stop trusting her and she'll lose the freedom she's managed to earn.
As a rule, I don't tell other adults what they can or can't do, and my sister is an adult. But I don't know what I can do to look out for her safety beyond talking to her and reminding her to be careful. She listens to me, but if I say "break up with him" she won't do it, and she'll stop telling me things.
I'm not that much older than her, and I don't feel like I have enough experience to know how to deal with this. Our parents are useless, and my sister's friends have their own drama so they aren't much help (and they're also 18). | My sister is dating an older guy. I can't tell her what to do but I want her to be safe and I don't want my parents to find out. What can I do, Reddit? |
t3_3g1kzt | offmychest | I'm going to kill myself in 5 years and only have time to enjoy 3 of them at the most. | I'm 20 years old and feel 25 is my peak. At 21, I can legally buy alcohol, maybe get lower car insurance, but after that I don't have anything to look forward to. Career advancement and increased pay with that sure, but what does that mean? So I can buy more shit. Great. That's absolutely worth another 80ish years of growing older and weaker and slowly dying. I've had girlfriends in the past, but nothing ever longer than a few months. 20 years. Two decades. The time from when the internet was just creeping into people's homes to when we all had computers in our pockets capable of accessing information from across the world in milliseconds. And not a single serious relationship. Nobody that's just happy to be with me. Nobody to hug me when I get home and tell me they missed me. Nobody that I can trust I could live my life and they would want to be in it living theirs and we'd both be doing what we want and that happens to be the same thing. If I haven't found that in 20 years, what's the hope of finding it in the next 5?
Another reason I think 25 is my peak is that's the max age where I can do fun, irresponsible car stuff without looking like a manchild. I love muscle cars and I'm partial to Mustangs. After graduation, I plan to buy a GT, boost it to hell and enjoy the fuck out of it. Right now, if I get pulled over for doing 100 in a 60, I'll just come off as some stupid kid. After that point, I'll look like a pathetic washed up weirdo stuck in his youth trying to impress people. So optimistically, 3 years to enjoy it, but nothing worth living for after that.
Even if I did meet a girl by then, it can't last. I'm a 5/10 on a good day, overweight, a ginger, and barely on the edge of enjoyable [here] If I can't even satisfy and provide the minimum for her, she's going to leave and find someone who can. | No prospect of a relationship or self-actualization, and close to my peak with nothing but downhill after that. |
t3_o0qur | relationships | Relationship of 3 years and Weed. | So, I've been dating this girl for 3 years now, and I love her very much and for the most part we have a very healthy and good relationship. I used to smoke weed, a lot, but it bugged her so I stopped. That was almost a year ago. Now, I love marijuana. All of my friends smoke it, and it seems like everywhere I look I see it. We've talked about it a lot and she's conflicted on it. She doesn't want to hold me back and keeps telling me to do what I want to do, and it would upset her if she felt like she was holding me back. She also says she doesn't know how she'd feel if I did it. So not a definitive answer at all. I don't want to risk upsetting her, but being sober fucking kills me. Being sober sucks. Inside, I'm a pothead. I'm not going to do it behind her back, because I love her too much. And she's perfect for me in every way but this and I'm not going to let weed break us up. She insists that I do what I want though. I'm conflicted between not wanting to regret anything later in my life, and not wanting to risk potentially hurting her. I mean, you only have one life to live and you should spend it living it up and being happy... What do you think? | I'm in a great anti-weed relationship. I want to smoke. She doesn't know if I should or not and I'm stuck. |
t3_yw2fa | AskReddit | My parents asked me if I smoked pot. I said, "Sometimes." We had a long discussion, now they won't talk to me. | Here's the gist:
My mother asked me if I smoke marijuana. I didn't want to say "yes" because I feel like that would imply that I do it all the time (which I don't), and I didn't want to say "no" because that's simply not true.
Now, all of a sudden, they think I'm a drug addict. They think that I "need" marijuana to keep me functioning, which is not the case at all. I explained to them that I smoke on occasion with my friends because it's a nice experience, it helps me relax, I think about things more deeply, and I become creative in a whole new way. In no way has it been destructive in my life.
On my dad's side of the family, I guess a few of his sisters used to smoke pot when they were younger, and now they aren't doing so well. So, naturally, my parents see marijuana as an awful drug. My argument to that was that there are tons and tons of other factors that played into his sisters' lives that caused them to be where they're at now--it wasn't solely weed that "brought them down." I believe it's all dependent on the type of person and how they handle it.
I'm very responsible when it comes to smoking weed and also in all other regards. But now that my parents know I smoke on occasion, they think I'm totally irresponsible and can't be trusted anymore. Right now, they won't even look me in the eye or talk to me--honestly, I think that's fucking childish. I would like to have a serious discussion with them, but they won't even talk to me.
How can I convince my parents that I'm still a responsible person even though I sometimes indulge in marijuana? | Parents found out I smoke pot sometimes. |
t3_395f4d | tifu | TIFU by getting married and combining our surnames | We wanted to show that we were one by combining our names together. You know, that whole two become one thing. I didn't want a hyphen. It can cause lots of problems when kids come along.
For those that don't understand, combining for instance the last name Dana and Barton to Danton.
Now my parents say that I hate them and don't want their name. Their "friends" are making fun of them. Some are even badmouthing them for raising "pagan or satanic" children.
And I am effectively being disowned, but ask them and they will tell you I disowned them.
Here we were doing something we really liked with the intention of bringing the families together. | don't try anything new when it comes to names. |
t3_3fg5uc | relationships | Me [23 F] was out with my boyfriend [23 M] shopping for clothes when.. | I am extremely curious how you guys feel about this. And please tell me if I have a right to be mad/upset with my boyfriend.
Long story short, I was out with my BF buying clothes today when we ran into my boyfriends childhood crush whom he hasn't talked to in 2 years. They hugged and were extremely happy to see one another. I was maybe 2 steps behind him watching this all take place waiting for him to introduce me to his friend. I waited.. I waited and after what seemed like a minute I started browsing the clothing rack that was right next to me again sorta peeved, but I wasn't mad about it. A few seconds later he looks back sees me and goes oh and that's (Insert My First Name) without saying that we are dating or anything like I was just his friend or something. I know it seems petty, but would this piss anyone else off? | Boyfriend runs into childhood crush, doesn't introduce me for awhile and when he finally does he says "Oh and this is (insert my first name). That's it. |
t3_18x6wp | relationships | I am a M[18] with a F[18] College relationship going well but plenty of lies | So hello there Reddit.
I've known my current girlfriend for 6 years now through school. We go to the same university and have been dating for the last 3 months. It's my longest relationship and I do really care for her. I also understand my age and lack of experience etc.
My problem begins in that I can't believe most of what she says. Her stories about work or something from the past always seem a bit far fetched. I think of it like when someone tells you a story but they add a little side fact to make it more interesting. It's exactly that but escalated or seemingly entirely untrue.
We also had an issue with her having her driver's license. She told me and drove with me in the passenger seat that she did in fact have it. I have however glanced down and saw a black strip with "Parent ~~~~". I didn't get a good look and I wasn't snooping but I saw it when we were sitting together. I'm entirely sure that it is a temp license. After the first time of driving, when we returned to our friend's house, she said she was glad she didn't get pulled over because she forgot her actual license at home. There is also the case of her mother driving her every time we try to find time to spend together outside of on campus.
So I'm sure that she doesn't have it. The bad part is she told me to my face that she indeed did. I asked her about it weeks ago and she told me she did but never showed me. It's a problem as I value trust so, so very highly. I also care for her immensely. I don't know whether to confront her on the license scenario or the rather obviously fake stories I'm told. Help appreciated! | Girlfriend of 3 months, friends for 6 years prior. Both 18. She has an increasingly large amount of petty lies and fake stories as well as lying about her license to my face (from what I gather) I don't know what to do. |
t3_22n1vl | relationships | My friend [16F] is seriously ill and I'd [17M] like to make things easier for her, but I don't know how. | First of all, I'm sorry if this isn't quite appropriate for this subreddit, but I wasn't sure where else to put it.
My friend has an illness called aplastic anemia (or, at least, I think it's called that) - to my understanding, it means that her bone marrow is stone-cold not working, and she needs some kind of intervention to help. It's very serious and there's a small chance that she might not make it. A small chance is not no chance, so it's horrible.
I'd like to make things easier or her, but it's difficult because I've never been in a life-threatening situation like that before. She's been put on medication that will suppress her immune system, but because of that she's unable to leave the house or hospital for an extended length of time, or really be around people at all. I spent two weeks housebound and it was hell - it could be up to nine months (longer, if she gets a transplant, and there's chaemotherapy on top of that too), so I have no idea how she'd cope.
I'd like to make it easier for her, but aside from making a gift box / care package type thing, I honestly have no idea what I can do. I mean, of course, there's the whole "be there for her thing" - but that's to be expected, isn't it?
I'd like something practical and helpful, and any advice or suggestions would be seriously great. | Friend is seriously, seriously ill and unable to really leave the house. I want to help her, but I don't know how. |
t3_ttqms | relationships | I messed up, want to do anything I can to make it up and need ideas.. | 18m dating 21f. Together ~10 months.
To shorten it up, a lot, I cheated. It was prom and I got drunk and at the after-party I kissed a girl that I thought was cute. We started texting and such, and I started to doubt my relationship. The prom girl and I only kissed that once, but we had been talking consistently for the past week or so, me being flirty.
My girlfriend found out, and is extremely upset. I don't blame her for it a bit. How could I? I haven't been myself at all since prom, and don't know what the fuck I even got myself into.
I know there's no way that I can make her less upset right now, but I don't want to lose her. I told the other girl that we were done with the flirting bullshit, and she completely understands.
I don't need to hear about how I'm a piece of shit or anything, I know I'm a fool and I'm feeling it. My head's been up my ass.
I just want some ideas so I can start to regain her trust. My family is coming into town and I'd like her to go out to eat with us tomorrow night, and also like her to come to my graduation on Sunday, but I understand if she doesn't want to. | cheated on girlfriend, seeking advice on how to support her and regain trust. |
t3_3phyuk | relationships | My [21 F] and my SO(?) [33 M] ~7 months, my SO(?) just indicated we were a couple without a real talk, still unsure as to if we are official | My SO(?) and I met last October, by January we hung out with friends often and I developed a crush on him. Due to the age gap, we were both weary of proceeding with anything but he was especially. By May, we had hooked up a few times, talked often, and were constantly hanging out together with our mutual friends.
I believe from April to around June/July we were fwb but I really liked him and he was nicer to me than he was to other people. He was still pretty weary of our age difference and often talked about not wanting to keep me from any experiences, etc. Starting in June we began regularly eating dinner together and staying with each other during the weekends.
In August, he had invited me to meet his parents (which I declined) and he had drunkenly told me he loved me during sex, (he did this again in September). Also in August, we started being together for most Thursdays through Sundays. In September I told him I liked him. This is also when he started buying me beers in bars and buying any food we got together instead of switching off like we had been for the last couple of months.
In October, we were planning an outing and were going to go with a couple and another friend. He had said he was trying to get a couple more single people so his friend didn't feel uncomfortable with couples. He has been much more affectionate than previously, and I do really care for him. I am not sure if this means we are a couple or not. This is the weirdest situation I've ever been in, and my second relationship. Please help. | age gap fwb turning relationship?? or just a fwb? |
t3_4a8ae2 | relationship_advice | Leaving my [26/m] flirty friend [25/f] notes — cute, or creepy? | I'm in... I suppose I'd call it a "flirtationship" with someone who, until about two weeks ago, I thought of only as a platonic best friend. We're people with very different lifestyles who have been surprisingly compatible as friends, and about a week or two ago she suddenly started getting very flirty, especially by text. This led to me rather suddenly developing feelings, and earlier today I asked her out (gently, and as a friend) only to be met with "I'm not over my last relationship right now; I find you very attractive, but it wouldn't be fair to string you along, so let's just be friends for now and if we're both single at some point down the road maybe we can try again."
Which I am surprisingly okay with—it turns out that as my best friend, I'm only attracted to her when I think she's attracted to me, etc.
But I'm going to leave soon for 1-2 weeks of conferences and travel, and there are a lot of guys in her life, several of whom might well try to make a move (her other male friends tend to be more obvious in their intentions and less interested in friendship than I am). While this isn't something I'm worried about (except not all of the guys involved seem good enough for her, based on the relationship history I've seen as a friend), I do wonder if it might lead to her forgetting about the interest she currently has in me.
So, I was thinking of potentially writing small, complimentary notes, one for every day I'll be gone, and delivering them to her in a bundle, with instructions. As it is, I text her exactly one compliment at a random hour every day (something she rhetorically wished for a week ago, I picked up on, and she's very fond of), but this seems like a good way to step up my game. Nothing romantic—just small, friendly compliments and positive advice. | Are leaving positive (but not too flirty) notes for a flirty friend a sweet gesture, or something I should be avoiding? |
t3_i9cke | AskReddit | Reddit, can you help me find him??? | Dearest Redditors,
I am not much of a contributor, but I feel that I need to take a chance with this one.
So, this evening I attended the wedding of a relative. At the reception my family and I were seated with the DJs and saxophone player. We had a lovely dinner and good times were had. One of the DJs and I really hit it off. I know he was keen on me, and I am more than a little interested in pursuing it further. The only problem is that, being the social retard that I am, I didn't even get his name. Yep. Big time fuck up on my part.
Here's where I need your help, Reddit. If any of you happen to know a DJ from Detroit/Royal Oak Michigan who had a wedding gig earlier this evening, PLEASE help me out!
I know this is a shout in the dark, but I'm not giving up yet!!! | I'm looking for the DJ who played at a wedding in Lapeer Michigan earlier this evening who is from Royal Oak. I think he is awesome and am very interested in seeing him again. |
t3_14s6i3 | relationships | Me (m20) little bit frustrated at my girlfriends (f17) decisions... How can I sort it without belittling her? | I go to uni, she goes to college. We live exactly thirty miles apart and have been going out for just over a year and a half.
Now, I'm at uni and we take it in turns to go up/down to each other every other weekend, no problem with that what so ever. I go home early Friday afternoon and come back late Saturday. This means I miss out on 50% on group kitchen activity's. Again no big deal to me, I'm not very big on the going out side of things, a lot of my mates go out 'on the pull' so I keep my distance. However I like to have a few drinks int he kitchen with my flat mates and play games.
So... I miss 50% of these flat gatherings also. No big deal, relationship prior to uni is more important to me than uni based social scene. Now, when my girlfriend comes up sometimes she will drink and have a jolly, as we do back at her home if partys arise.
Though 90% of the time she will sit at the table and just drink some juice/fizzy beverage. She get's on well with my flatmates and we have a lot of banter. But recently she keeps putting out sweeping statements like I don't feel the need to drink to have fun. Also fine and very true, but when my flatmates invite me to the kitchen to drink, I will drink with them and she will sit drink coke. It makes me feel akward and same with the others.
I'm just frustrated at the fact she won't budge now so I sacrifice a lot now, but when she goes to uni I'm 100% certain her thought process will change and she would get frustrated at me not joining in.
Every time I have brought it up before she says she should be more important than alcohol and she is right, I love her. But when I push it further I make her feel like a kid.
How can I sort this without be belittling her? | I'm at uni, get invited to drinks, miss 50% of the time because I go home. I'm fine with that. Get invited when I'm at uni, GF comes too, sometimes refuses to drink, makes it a little awkward says it's not what uni is about. I'm frustrated as I'm pretty sure when she goes to uni she will do the same as me so I miss out. Whats the best way to approach without seemingly getting her down because of her age? |
t3_s5iot | AskReddit | Should I take in my sister's OBESE beagle [x-post r/dogs] | I have recently (Feb. 11) adopted a Doberman mix and things have been going well. So well in fact I am thinking of taking my sister's dog for a while. I want to take him out of her home because she has two very young children and the dog is neglicted. She trys, but she is willing to live in circumstances that I find... less than savory. For example: she will leave a trash bag out of any type of liner (due to the liner being full) and the dog will come along, rip the bottom out of the bag and go to town. Because of things like this he is VERY overweight. The last time I saw him I could not believe how big he had gotten. I have the time and patience to get this dog down to a healthy weight and perhaps train some of his worst behaviors out of him (i.e. barking constantly, nawing on things when people are gone). My question(s) is: Should I? I have brought up the idea with my sister, and she seems okay with it (she's about ready to just give up on him which is so sad since it's her fault to begin with) and I'm wondering how likley it is that her dog may show my dog some bad habits, which worries me because my dog is so well behaved (but young). If anyone who has gone through something like this before could shed some light on what I could exspect I would be greatful. | My sister's dog is going to die because of his weight, should I take him in at the risk of my good dog learning his bad behaviors? |
t3_xxnnm | relationships | So it turns out that it's possible to break up on a slightly happy note. | Age: 16/17, whatever, teenage shit.
Relationship: 15 months.
I treated my girlfriend like shit, essentially. I cheated on her, I told her a day after, but I still fucking cheated on her. I continuously overstepped the line with other girls, which is an asshole thing to do. I thought it was out of character for me, but it turns out I just didn't know who I was.
For the last three-ish months we've been on and off. Eventually, she broke it off with me, and I — of course — haven't handled it lightly. I've been messaging her constantly and whatever. Then I decided to write a massive wall of text message to her recapping all the fun times we've had and that I still wanted more of those with her, you know, the usual crap. Anyway she replied with something along the lines of:
>I want to get my exams done, I want to go to university, I want to study abroad, I want to travel around the world, I want a lot of things but at the moment I don't want a relationship. I'm not even thinking about boys. I'm just focusing on what I want, that's where my head is now.
Needless to say I cried my eyes out, which I've done before, but it was oddly comforting...a lot better than the other stuff she's been saying. Could somebody with a more objective view on the situation tell me why?
Even though it makes complete sense, moving on is a completely foreign concept to my brain. I can't even handle thinking of being with anyone else, and I've mostly been dealing with the jealousy associated with the thought of her moving on...that's what's got me down more than anything else. I think it helps me get around the concept that she's just the girl I dated before university. | girlfriend broke up with me after rough patch of a few months; didn't handle it well, wrote long message to her and she replies by telling me that she just wants to finish university, study abroad, travel.etc, i handled that response a lot better than anything else I've gotten from her, why? |
t3_m4baz | AskReddit | What's the worst software/hardware/program you've dealt with? | I don't know if this is the absolute worst, but the most recent bad program I've dealt with was Panda Global Protection. I was at my aunt's house fixing the sound on her really old and bad computer. I had just fixed the sound when I wanted to test it on youtube. Youtube was being blocked by something, so I went to Pandora, but that was being blocked too. So I figured out it was the Panda Protection blocking everything but as hard as I tried, I couldn't get it to stop blocking any websites. So finally I went to the tech support link on the actual program and that was blocked too! The program blocked itself, how ironic. | Panda Global Protection sux |
t3_4gpmeu | tifu | TIFU by forgetting music | So this is actually happening right now, writing this while taking a short break.
I play the violin in an orchestra, just a small group of semi-pro players getting together to play some music. There was an offer to play in a string quartet at a credit union, so, being the ambitious student I am, I volunteered.
The principal violist gave us a big binder of music. It's the only copy that she has, full of music from various places around the world (there was some Chinese music in there, who knows). When she gave it to me, she told me "don't lose it, or I'll have your head". I assured her I would guard it with my life.
Well, this binder of music stayed with the rest of my music. Our school went on a music trip to Austria, and me and my violin (and ALL my music) went along. It was a wonderful trip, visiting great places along the way.
Now for the FU. On Tuesday, I realized that the concert got moved to TODAY. Casually, I check my music bag for the music.
It wasn't there.
I start freaking out, tearing my house apart. "guard it with your life", she said, and now, my life may be gone with it. Even worse, the three other members of my quartet have their music, and have made it very clear they have no issues telling the principal violist that I lost my music. Then it dawned on me. Did I leave it in AUSTRIA? (note: I live in Canada, it's not gonna get here in the next 4 hours.) I'm calling my mom, asking if she's seen it. Nope, she doesn't have it. I'm utterly fucked.
Anyone have any methods to break a hand painlessly? Might buy me a couple days... | left my music in Austria, need it for right now. |
t3_272g1k | relationships | Me[21m] her[21f] have been going out for almost 2 years and it is all spiraling out of control | Okay so basically I have been dating this girl for 2 years offcially as of this july, but its pretty close so im just going to say tow years. So me and my girlfriend starded as FWB to which I didn't like I wanted more or to go spend time with someone who did want a relationship, she told me she wanted one, but she didn't actually want one. She was still in love with her EX and had an STI that she didn't tell me about, we broke up, she said she could change, then never stopped lying (about communicating with her ex) for about a year, this was our rough time, we would always break up, I would blackout drunk and start arguments with her or just make her cry, she would only have sex with me while drunk, but somehow we always end up back together because we work.
Since that year has passed she actually stopped talking to him, she has fallen head over heels for me, but now I still cant stop remembering the bad shit. I get mad at her for everything, I go through her phone, I tell her exactly what upsets me when it upsets me and generally that upsets her, (EX: today I got mad at her because I always "talk dirty to her" when she wants, but when I want it (much more frequently) she ALWAYS has an excuse) and I feel bad about this but at the same time I couldn't give a shit less because of all the shit she put me through. I feel like I am constantly getting mad at her, but I don't care about it, how do I change this mentality ? or should I just abadon all hope and hopefully she will break up with me ( I am probably not strong enough to do it honestly) | me and my girlfriend fight a lot, and generally that is my fault, but its because she hurt me. how do I change? |
t3_4dz755 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my neighbour [28F] , wanted to help a drunken girl but has gotten out of control | I am freaking the fuck out . I live in a student hostel in Germany . I heard a huge crash a few hours back . Went to check out what it was - a neighbour girl is totally drunk and out of her mind . I helped her to her bed, called her bf , removed all the broken glass out of the way . Her bf walks in 10 mins later, I update him and got out of the room. The ruckus continued and I could hear it from my room and I am positive they were throwing some punches.
After about an hour I hear a knock on the door and the girl is standing naked on my door step. I am perplexed and her boyfriend couldn't care less. I hand her over my night pants and she said she wanted to sleep in my room for the night. He opens his arms up and says it is not his problem if she wants to stay with me. He goes into the room, throws out all of her clothes and locks up the room.
Now I am left with this Mongolian girl in my bed (who keeps asking me if I have a gf) and I am taking the couch. I am not sure what is going to happen in the morning. I don't want to get beaten up by Mongolian thugs just because I wanted to help a girl. I am genuinely scared. | Neighbours fight - the girl leaves her bf and is now sleeping in my room. I am scared of Mongolian thugs |
t3_2gikxs | relationships | I (17F) am confused about my best friend's (17M) feelings for me. | My closest friend (we'll call him Peter) and I (aka Jane) knew about each other since before junior high, but only became friends around 7th grade. Since then it's been great. We hang out just about every weekend, talk on the phone often, and mainly just dick around and have a fun time.
Recently, however, I have begun to think that he cares for me in more than just a platonic way. He messes with my hair, and seems to always be grazing my shoulder or trying to tickle me.
My main concern about the situation is if it doesn't work out. I don't want to lose my closest friend. So reddit, what should I do? Does he like me? How do I get him to confess? What should I do afterwards? | What should I do about my relationship with my best friend? |
t3_19xf9u | cats | Old Cat Aggressive Towards New Cat | I know we have to give it time, but I just need some reassurance here. We adopted a new cat Gimlet on Sunday, 5 days ago. He is about 1 year old currently. We've had Felicity for about 2 years now. She is currently about 4. We've got Gimlet in the guest bedroom for now, and are letting Felicity get used to the idea of another cat in the house. He has his own litter, food, and water in there. We also got an additional litter box for when he goes into general population. 1 litter box per cat +1. We switched their bedding at the end of night two. Felicity wasn't really upset by the new smell, but was curious. On day 3 when we first cracked the door so they could see each other, there was much hissing, growling, and Felicity jumped at the door. We've tried it again twice and got the same results. Are we just trying to do it too soon? Do we have to give them more time in solitary separation? I've read it can take anywhere from two weeks to six weeks for them to get along. Do we have to keep them separated that whole time? Gimlet really does not like being cooped up in the room all by himself. We let him out for about a half an hour to an hour a day now to run around the house and keep Felicity in another room. She is the only one that is being aggressive. Gimlet could care less about being around another cat. Any words of advice on making this a success? They don't have to be BFF's, but I want them to at least tolerate one another. | Old cat is aggressive towards new cat still on day 5. How do we make this successful? |
t3_2zj9pa | tifu | TIFU by talking to a girl | This happened to me last month.
There is this girl that I like at school and man I must say she is hot. Well this girl I like lets call her "Jenny" (since we remember what had happened to her). Any way on to the story.
I had never talked to this girl ever outside of class besides working in group projects. The projects would require us to talk to each other and I would chicken out when it came to talking to Jenny. Also to mention this, my friends dared me to ask her out for prom since I wouldn't do it as I have failed in talking to any girl in general. Well to get on with this story, I decided in order for me to ask her out for prom, I must get to know her a little better and then surprise her with my prom plan to be my date to Senior Prom.
Well the day arrived when I would ask Jenny for her number. The wind was blowing in my face and the other dramatic effects that would exist. I was like heck nervous, my palm sweating and as i'm about to approach her, something strikes my mind, that I can't do it. So I said, tomorrow the deed will be done. Comes the next day, I still can't talk to Jenny and then decide to message a mutual friend.
This mutual friend was with Jenny when I messaged him. I was like "fuck me and my life". He ended up messaging me saying, that he can't give me her number and I should fuck off. Well later that same day, after I messaged our mutual friend, I tried to talk to Jenny and wouldn't respond to me and blocked me on facebook and even snapchat. That just messed my chances up to ask the girl out for prom. That next day, I tried talking to her and apologizing for what happen and you what she did to me, slapped me right on the face. Good thing know one I knew was around when this happened or who knows what can happen.
Till this day, when I ever see this girl, i want her to be mine, but sadly hates me. She didn't get asked out to prom and never did talk to her since, something bad can happen so not taking my chances. | Have the courage to talk to anyone especially if its a girl and don't ask others phone numbers, instead ask them yourself. |
t3_4wnppi | relationships | I [28/F] keep lying to my boyfriend [31/M] and I don't know if I should come clean | I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He is great, and I would love to marry him one day. However, I do have some self-esteem problems which I think is the reason why I keep telling him these stupid lies. For example, I told him I made it to the state championship for the 800 meters in high school track. In reality, I went to one practice my freshman year then quit the next day. I told him I was class president in high school, but I never even ran for student council. I told him I have a business degree and a humanities degree. I have a BA in one field. He keeps bringing up all these "accomplishments" and how he has a super-awesome girlfriend, but none of them are true, or only partially true. Part of me just wants to commit to stop lying, hope I don't get caught in the lies, and move on with my life. I feel like coming clean would destroy what we have. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone offer advice? It would be much appreciated! | I've lied to my boyfriend about my past accomplishments, and am not sure if I should come clean or just commit to stop lying and move on with the relationship |
t3_38lrpu | dating_advice | Need female review of my dating profile, help improve it | So, never been the most successful at snagging the women but I have also never been afraid to ask. I find online dating to be very... ineffective. I am not sure if something in my profile screams, "HORRID!" or "Plain", but I was hoping someone might be able to help improve upon my profile so one of the 500+ people that I have messaged between POF, OKC, Tinder, and Match, reply.
-Tend to be introverted, not shy. I love being among people but in my down time if no one throws out an invite to go out, I'll chill at my place and find something to do.
-I tend listen more than talk.
-No tattoos
-No beard
-Not big into watching sports kind of guy
-I like my games and anime (Who doesn't these days?)
-Prior point does not exclude my love for cliff jumping, rock climbing, casual outdoor sports, etc.
-Artsy kind of guy
-Serious, empathetic. Tend to listen but somehow always get voted to take the lead at work and school.
-At school at this time so traveling is not a big thing right now.
-Work full-time while finishing school so not a lot of time to mingle on campus.
-5'4 and I have no problems with my height. However, the majority of the women whose profiles I message list 5'7. 5'10 seems to be the average that girls want.
I am not going to put a picture of my dog in my profile. Tinder really turned me off from adding drinking pics, pics with my dogs, etc. Really cliche what people are looking for. If you're willing to give some decent advice PM me and I will send you the links to my profile. One is just like the other so I won't be sending them all. | Help plox! ;) |
t3_4vuzvb | relationships | How do I [M25] sensitively tell my girlfriend [F20] that I don't want her to come abroad with me? | Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 8 months. I'm crazy about her and really see a future, but we are both introverted individuals that do spend a fair amount of time away from each other. She lives in a different city and we used to go a week or two without seeing each other and then spend one wonderful week together before she or I went home. Nowadays we spend every waking moment together, which I do sort of enjoy. I think about her when she's not around. I love spending time with her, but this is my first serious relationship and I do still enjoy spending some time on my own.
I live with my bestfriend and we both work as stage actors to moderate success, and the show we're working on is going to Australia in November. We've had our flights and hotels paid for by the production company and I'll be spending about 4 weeks there. When I told my GF, she asked if she could come. I asked her how she'd come, and she said she'd pay for her own flights and other expenses so she can come and watch the show and spend time with me in another country.
Here's the problem- I said yes, but I kind of don't want her to. She's considering her options as far as booking travel goes now and I know I need to say something before she goes aheads and books anything. Like I said, I really enjoy spending time with her, but I kind of just want to spend this time with my buddy who I've really neglected the friendship of since I got with my girlfriend. He hasn't said anything, but I feel deep down he's kind of bummed that he'll be third-wheeling again when it was just him and I for so long. I know it seems childish, but I think he was looking foward to spending this guy time together, and I know I was as well. I just want to let her know I think it'd be best if she stayed here, but I don't want her to take it personally or think I don't value spending time with her. How do I tell her I don't want her to come? Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. | I don't know how to tell my girlfriend I don't want her tagging along a trip without hurting her feelings. |
t3_3njeiv | relationships | Confusion. Is she history? | Okay me[25m] and my ex girlfriend[20f] broke up about 2 months ago after about 2 years of dating.she blocked me off everything and won't communicate with me at all. This same exact thing happened last time we broke up and she ended up messaging me and we got back together
Here's where it gets tricky. She has a son who wasn't biologically mine.
We started am dating when he was a month old. I was never around d kids before so it was a new experience for me. I raised and supported him like he was mine she didn't have a job so it was all on me. His dad didn't want anything to do with him(up until our last breakup) and the kid called me dada.
I miss him.
Me and her fought bad(she has a attitude she's busted my nose, blacked my eye, messed up my car) but I love her. And part of me wants her to message me.
She has another boyfriend now so I only message her asking about the kid, she never replies. This last time we got back together we connected so much(to me atleast) we got out own place together and we were a little family.
Do you guys think she's actually over me?
She's just not talking to me to avoid feelings?
Should I just give up on the kid or do you think she may come back like last time?
Sorry I'm trying to keep it short I could wrote novels explaining it all but I don't want to bore you guys.
Ask anything if you would like more info though. | Me and my ex always breakup and get back together, I miss her son terribly and want them back but she has a new boyfriend even though this same situation happened last time (except it was the kids dad not a new boyfriend) |
t3_3yv69a | relationship_advice | How can I[19M] stop worrying that my SO[19 F] will turn into a different person than I fell in love with? | Hi all.
I suffer from mild anxiety which makes me worry about a bunch of things. Lately one of the things I'e worried about is my girlfriend becoming a person I wouldnt have been interested in the first place. We are each other's first relationships and have been together for 9 months. I also worry(but to a lesser extent) that my gf is hiding certain qualities that about her that would not be appealing to what I want in a relationship.
Some ways this worry manifests itself is that I worry my gf will become this person who just parties all the time and has no other interests. For example, in March(3 weeks before we got together) she went to a rave for the first time. At the time I thought nothing of it(about 3 months ago my anxiety/worry about everything increased drastically). But now I am worried she will start taking drugs-which I personally do not partake in- because that's what a lot of people at raves too.
In a similar vein, I worry about her starting to smoke weed. If I remember correctly, she once said she doesn't think she would ever do it(she does not even drink). But one of her close friends smokes. One day when us 3 were hanging out my girlfriend's friend said that weed makes her sleepy.My gf made the comment, in a bit of a joking manner, "Hey d372 would you still love me if I started smoking weed so I can sleep?" Something along those lines. I said yes but inside I honestly don't know how I would handle that. | Worry that my gf will change her values that do not match up with my own and become a different person I would have not connected with in the first place. |
t3_2zwf0u | relationships | Me [22M] Pushed away my Girlfriend [22 F] of a year and a half, at first i was emotionless but it's all come crashing down | Hey guys, I basically had anxiety issues over the past few months and it put me into a spiral where i became a bit closed off and introverted.
Being like this eventually made me a bad boyfriend, i was less talkative, i woudln't really be interested in doing things that often. She then sprang on me that she wanted to move away and it freaked me out and made me push her away.
When she suggested breaking up i basically went "yeah this is for the best" due to all the tension and arguing so I was ok with it for a week or 2 then we drifted into an awkward friendship that didn't feel comfortable and it was all weird but i was still unphased
But then i would describe something like the wall i built around my emotions collapsed and i realized how much of an ass i had been, this girl was the love of my life, the first girlfriend i wanted to spend my life with and i screwed up.
So last night i basically out all my cards on the table and said something along the lines of "look i know i screwed up now, i've seen the light and i am still in love with you and want to be with you so i can be a better man for both of us" She of course said no, in her head apparently a week after the breakup a switch just went off and she was no longer in love with me which is fair enough, but it hurt her telling me i did have a chance to fix things if i'd just not been so emotionless about it and tried to fight for her when she first suggested breaking up, i feel like i squandered my chance.
I've now told her that i can't physically associate with her in anyway now it's too painful, to which she seemed very nonchalant about, that hurt but i guess it's her way of dealing with it, i am really feeling heartbroken, like i've betrayed myself and like i've lost the best thing that's happened to me,
What should i do guys how do i deal with this? | I pushed away the one, told her i still loved her and she now doesn't care at all, what should i do? |
t3_4o3fd2 | relationships | My friend [gay 22f] constantly makes me [straight 23f] feel uncomfortable by holding my hand, touching my leg etc. | She basically acts like I'm her girl friend (when she came out to me she assured me that those affections aren't sexual at all) but even before I knew she was gay I was uncomfortable by them.
I've tried to push her away and tell her to stop but now I just feel guilty because I'm scared she'll think that's me being homophobic. Whenever I do that she thinks I'm joking.
Honestly, I don't want anyone touching me like that unless I'm dating them.
I've also recently gone to her place of work and people there were under the impression I was her girl friend.
I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for, our friendship has been faltering for a while since she called me sexist earlier this year (for not supporting Clinton) and since then I've felt very resentful.
Thoughts? | My friend makes me uncomfortable with her affection, I don't know how to get her to stop since I've brushed her off and told her to not touch me. I don't like being touched by anyone. |
t3_1pl8qh | needadvice | What should I do with my life? | Hello! I'm turning 20 and am wrapping up my third semester of college this December, but I dont have any clue what I want to do when I finish.
Im a business major (managment and information systems), but thats really what my family pressured me into. I dont *mind* business or IT, but I certainly don't care for it. I wouldnt be happy doing that for the rest of my life.
My issue is, theres nothing I **would** be happy doing. The only things I really care about are video games and Magic: The Gathering, which dont exactly have a booming job market.
To make matters worse, I have several significant health issues (type 1 diabetes, depression, chronic migraines, to name a few) and *need* a job that can provide good benefits. If you arent aware, insulin is fucking expensive. Ill get kicked off my prents insurance plan when i turn 26, so I effectively only have 6 years to graduate and get a sweet job.
What should I do? How do I figure out what makes me happy, and can also provide me a kick ass job? | Im 20 and dont know what to do with the rest of my days, and have a very limited time to figure it out |
t3_2i5tfi | dating_advice | Interested in a long time friend - Looking for advice on how to initiate things. | I have feelings for a friend of mine whom I have known since we were kids. We have been spending a lot of time together as the only single people in our group of friends and feelings have developed from my side and I suspect she might be interested too.
I want to initiate things but I keep over thinking it. My basic question is whether I should bring this up when we are out doing something sometime or should I call her and ask her on a true date so she isnt put on the spot?
I worry that if I bring it up in person when she is not expecting it, it may not be received as well and could prove awkward if she isnt interested. If I were to call her, she could let me down without the awkwardness. If she were to accept, we would have a date where we both know what we need to discuss and have time to think about it.
I am probably overthinking this but I cannot help it. Suggestions? | should I call and ask her on a date or bring up the possibility of us taking things further in person while out sometime? |
t3_l7lrw | AskReddit | Family mocked me for not liking when pregnant women smoke. What to do? | I just visited my family yesterday consisting of mom and two younger sisters, who are 30 and 27. The 27 yr old is pregnant and still smokes, about half pack+ a day. She lit up her smoke while we were all outside and said "If anyone has a problem with me smoking while pregnant they can fuck off". Mom and other sis, both never smoked, were placating her by saying that it's no big deal, other smokers had healthy babies... blah blah. 27 yr old walks away and mom lectures me about how it's not bad, other sis chimes in the same way. All this and I hadn't even said a word yet. Finally I said "Smoking is one of the most harmful things you can do to the child", and they made fun of that. I see them on the holidays. I felt very disrespected, and am concerned for her baby's health. Anyone else get this from family? Unfortunately my ENTIRE rest of the family feels that way too. I just feel disheartened. Any advice, don't hold back!! I won't take it personally. | lil' preg sis smokes, trash talks, then family makes me butt of joke. |
t3_tw09x | dating_advice | Good ways to escalate to kissing. | Hey there, so this is sort of an update and a question. I 'went out' with the girl I mentioned in this [post] Things could have gone worse but they could have gone a lot better. I didn't physically escalate as much as I wanted to. I hugged and managed to place my hand on her shoulder/back (she didn't seem to resist those) but I didn't get any further. I probably blew my opportunity (If I had one at all) but I may get another chance in the next couple days, I asked if she wanted to do something with me again next week and she said yes.
It probably doesn't help that we are both pretty shy (her especially) so physical contact is just awkward. When/if I see her next I am just going to go straight for hand holding to start. If that goes well I want to lean in close like I want to whisper a secret in her ear and then kiss her on the cheek. If that doesn't work then at least I tried.
But if that sounds like a terrible plan let me know. | Help one socially awkward penguin kiss another socially awkward penguin so we can be socially awkward together. |
t3_1l04qy | running | I was asked how i was such a fast runner (for my size), Wasnt sure how to respond. any help R/ running? | Ok, so im Army so running is kinda a must for me; But because i ran an average of 4 miles a night to lose weight to join the army i actually enjoy it. I dont have a "runners body" though so most people assume i cant run. I'm about 5'7, 200lbs. Last week we had a PT test and i outran the group of people i was running with coming in at just over 14 minutes for 2 miles, it was my fastest run to date by about 30 seconds. later on that week an officer in my unit came up to me; he has a similar build about 5'7 or 5'8 and maybe 190, but i think he has alot more muscle than i do; He then asked me how i ran so fast on the PT test, and i wasnt able to respond. I really didnt know what to say. I mean, all i do is try to keep good form and my cadence up, and giving him that answer just wouldnt have felt right. So, what do you guys say when some asks you about how you run so fast/long/well? Is it wise to go in detail about form and finding your pace or is it better just to give them a simpler answer or what? | i ran fast, got asked how i did that, didnt know what to say. What do you say when someone asks you that? |
t3_2kruxs | relationships | Help me [19F] get over this 2 year relationship. | I've been dating this guy for the past 2 years and gave him all of myself, and he seemed to do the same in turn. Everything was fine up until a week ago, when I was really worn down from working long hours and decided to disconnect from the world for a little bit.
Last night, my now-ex picked me up from work and told me he was breaking up with me. He stated that he was afraid we would start to move too fast from here due to how much he loves me, and he didn't want to regret things later. A pretty weird reason, but things get worse.
After I let the shock sink in, he admits that during the week I was home alone in bed, he got drunk and "started to kiss" one of his female friends, and he's developing feelings for her.
I lost it. I was ready to remain friends with him, since we were always friends above a couple, but this was unforgivable. I told him when we first started dating that if he ever cheated on me, I would cut him out of my life completely.
I've been crying since it happened, I woke up crying today. I've never been so in love with somebody and now it was all gone, and we couldn't even be friends.
He's coming over today to drop off my stuff and I don't know what to do/say. I still love him but I hate him too. I don't know how to heal after this. He was such a huge part of my life. | ex broke up with me, then admitted to cheating and I don't know how to heal myself. |
t3_3evhum | relationships | Why do I [18M] still feel so empty? | In late March, I broke up with my girlfriend [17F] of ~5 months. She was my everything; all I thought about, all I cared about. We were long distance but Skype made things easier. We managed to go on a few dates, get sexual, etc.
As out honeymoon phase ended, our Skype calls kept getting quieter. I blew up at her one night for not making an effort in our relationship, not working on her personal issues, and some other shit I only said because I was all worked up.
Things went downhill from there. Two months later, we were in an open relationship. The next day was my birthday. About 30 minutes in, I didn't have a girlfriend anymore. She said she hadn't felt like I cared about her since around the time I blew up at her. I thought it best to just end things there. I couldn't see it getting better. If it had really been that long...there wasn't much point.
Four months later, I still think about her just about every day. Love songs on the radio make my heart sink. I can't stand to hear people talk about their dating lives. I've been dreaming of better times, remembering what it was like to be with her, wishing I could have that again. I can never get back together with her, though. From what my best friend tells me, she was actually trying to drive me away near the end of our time together. She's changed, and I don't fit into her life anymore.
I may not always think about this, and it doesn't affect my daily life so much, but tonight, it's preventing me from sleeping. I just want to stop thinking about her. I want her out of my head. I want to stop thinking about her just from looking at things I associated with her. I just want this pain to go away.
I wish I could just find a new girlfriend, but I'm no ladies' man, and no smartphone means no Tinder (only ever got two matches anyway).
Help me, Reddit. You're my only hope.
(Thanks for giving me a place to rant, if nothing else.) | Broke up with GF over 4 months ago, still feel like shit. What do? |
t3_mxhs0 | self | in regards to the massive amount of videos showing people standing up to cops about there rights | Im all for people standing up for there rights against cops and people should know there rights but people need to learn respect, if i get pulled over for any reason i always call them officer and generally comply with most things they ask (if you haven't done anything wrong why worry) and if there's something were he asks me to step out of the car or wants to search my boot i know my rights and would tell him in a non threatening/non-defensive tone that i would not do so. were as most videos i see today people get crazy defensive and angry towards to police for minor things and are only doing so to antagonize the officer and hopefully get some kind of violence or breachment of there rights on tape | people need to stop being dicks to cops and start being reasonable |
t3_348ae1 | relationships | Me [29 F] with my loved one [31 M] broken up yesterday. He gave me a msg first thing in the morning. | i havent been dating for 3 years and when i met him i was happy that we fit perfectly. we msg for day and night. i was so in love. he was the sweetest guy i have ever met. i thought i was lucky. but turns out it that only lasted a few weeks. turns out he was not the guy that he presented himself to be. he told me he cared for me but he doesnt act like it at all. he became bitter. i dont want his money. i dont want any materials from him in fact. i just want to feel loved. his time and his care.
tell me men of Reddit. do you not like it if a girl devotes her time to you? even though you repeatedly call her beautiful and calls her sweetie. why must it be so complicated?
love and be loved. is that so difficult? | i want to know how men thinks. tell me how to tell that a guy is just not that interested in a girl which he pursues in the first place. why are you hot on one day and just went ice cold the next. tq! |
t3_u45b8 | AskReddit | What are you being dishonest with yourself about? I'll start. | For the past ~4 years I've been a converted "saved" charismatic Christian (you know, the people who believe in being 'drunk in the spirit', getting knocked down, laying on hands, etc.) , and entered a relationship where my girlfriend and her family are supersrs ~~Christians~~ believers in Christ. I've also grown up believing 100% in evolution, scientific law, etc. Anyway, I ~~definitely~~ tentatively believe in intelligent design, but cannot really justify why I give credence to Christianity. I especially don't have the balls to tell my girlfriend this, as it would turn my life upside-down. I guess I'm really just an Agnostic hoping that if there is an afterlife, that some supreme being would just say I was close enough. | I'm an Agnostic guy lying to his family/social circle/self that I adamantly believe in Jesus, but really don't feel like anyone has the right or ability to say for sure. |
t3_4acdmq | tifu | TIFU by buying Kit Kat from Japan | So there is this website that I'm not exactly sure if I'm allowed to name, but I discovered this website after a bunch of YouTubers talked about it and did unboxing videos, and I thought it would be interesting to head over and see what they have to offer, because I live in the GCC and we don't get much, if any, Japanese products. I quickly found the 'food' section and proceeded to order one box of every flavor of Kit Kat they had, so four boxes in total. It was pretty pricey, $88, but I was prepared to pay the price because I've wanted to try the green tea Kit Kat ever since I stumbled upon their existence two years ago. I paid, got the confirmation email, and all was well. Until today when I received another email telling me to pay for the shipping, which was an extra $98. Apparently I hadn't understood how the website works and being the idiot I was blindly placed an impulsive order without knowing that they order from third party vendors, and then ship the products to you. Being a college student, I refuse to pay an extra $98 to have a bunch of Kit Kat from Japan shipped to me, and I've emailed them explaining my situation, but according to their FAQ they are unlikely to cancel an order if they have already ordered your products from the third party vendor, which they have. I think I just lost $88 trying to order Kit Kat. | I ordered Kit Kat from a website that buys from Japan, didn't read the rules, was asked to pay extra for shipping, lost a bunch of money because they don't do refunds once they order from the third party vendor. |
t3_16as0y | AskReddit | American Redditors - Are Science and Christianity mutually exclusive? And does not being Christian mean you preach Atheism? | Let me explain, and I'm not getting on my high-horse...
In Australia, I always went to Christian schools, where they also taught science and evolution. Australians don't promote "Yeah, Science!" in the same way, because 'Creationism' is almost non-existent here.
Christian teachings never sat well with me, and for years I considered myself Atheist, until I learned that there's a difference between spirituality and religion. I've since studied all kinds of spiritual teachings, but don't label myself as anything, because I don't care to.
Some of the r/atheism posts are just as irritating as any religious rant because it's preaching Atheism in the same way.
So, can't science just exist without being anti-Christian, and can't you be non-religious without pushing atheism, and just make more cat posts? | Christianity doesn't need to compete with Science. Non-religious people can still be spiritual, without the label. Less atheism, more cats. |
t3_13y3hs | cats | Cat Scratching | I have been fostering a fearful stray cat for a while now who had kittens. The kittens are all gone now except one which we decided to keep. The mama is up for adoption but is so fearful I worry that she is unadoptable. Today she was hiding in a corner and a went to feed her and she scratched me. She's never done this before usually she just cowered. With a new baby in the house I am concerned that when he starts moving and she's still here she will scratch him.
I don't know what to do. She didn't seem to be like this when she came here but in combination with my dog (who is a puppy and will try to play with her) who she is terrified of and me having to give her antibiotics, ear drops and literally pull a tube from her face (she had an abscess, vet showed me how to correctly remove it so I didn't have to drive 2 hours to come back in) she has regressed to laying in the corner all day and coming no where near us.
I have asked the rescue to take her back because I just don' t have the time to work through her issues with the new baby but they couldn't find her a foster. | Fearful stray foster cat scratched me. What do I do? |
t3_3ca3yr | relationships | Reddit, please give me [17F] the strength to shut him [28M] out! | About two months ago I befriended a guy (let's call him Chris) online, and we clicked instantly. Throughout those two months we grew quite close, into some sort of 'platonic' relationship. It's nice to talk to him because I don't have many friends that I chat with. However, lately I've been feeling very uncomfortable around him.
Chris enjoys talking about things like physical affection and romance. He always says that he really wants to cuddle and kiss me, among other things. I try to go along with what he says but lately it has been making me feel *very* nervous. Our conversations always lead to the subject of "cuddling" because that's what he wants to do with me. I don't want to cuddle with **a married man**.
I also believe that Chris is interested in a romantic relationship with me. Everytime I mention someone else, usually my boyfriend, he becomes very aggravated and jealous, then stops talking to me. I should also note that Chris barely sees his wife, I don't know why exactly but he said it was because of work. So I guess he sees me as some kind of substitute, something to fill the gaps.
I don't want to get further involved in this relationship, it makes me feel sick. What can I do? I feel like all I can do is block him and move on, but I'm hesitant and still care about him... somewhat. | I met and became close with a much older, married man online, but I no longer feel comfortable talking to him because of the things he says to me. He's sweet, but... he makes me feel very uneasy. How to shut him out? Do I just block him and be done with it? |
t3_2fg3bd | relationships | I [21/M] can't get over my ex-gf [19/F] having sex with another guy (Together for 1.5 years) | We broke up a month ago, and it wasn't hard. We both knew that it was going to happen. We still hung out, we did things together, hooked-up, made out, did things a normal couple would do.
I went home to see family and friends and that's where things started going down hill for me.She was telling me she made out with friends, but that's okay. People make out, and we're not together so its okay.
We got over it, we talked, things started to feel normal, it felt like things were getting better.
I went out a week after, I get texts from her saying not to do anything with anyone else. She missed me. She called. I didn't answer. I followed through with what she wanted and didn't do anything.
The day after, I get a text early in the morning. I knew. She had a one night stand. She went back on her fucking word. She fucks another guy, and I'm the one looking like a fucking idiot. I still can't get over it. I've been having bad anxiety, I can't eat, sleep, my relationships with other people are going down the drain. I don't know what to do. I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't but I just do, and it's hard not to.
Don't get me wrong I love her to death and she is an amazing girl but that hurt my feelings so much. It's now making things so much worse, and I can't shake the feelings away. I feel like a toy, that she can use me whenever she wants expecting me to get the same answer over and over again.
What should I do? She talked about one day getting back and I do want that and I feel like she does too. I know that there should be some definite space, but what can I do to get my mind off things?
I'm having a hard time typing this because as much as I want comfort, it's killing me and I can't rid of the negative emotions that I've been having. | Ex-Gf tells me not to do anything with anyone while I'm out. She has one night stand next day. What should I do? |
t3_1a96nu | legaladvice | NYC Bartender in hot water (update) | Hello again. In [this post] I asked what I should expect from a court case regarding the sale of alcohol to a minor. Well, good news, I had my court date and I've received an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal.
This still isn't over though. Today a few police officers came by and dropped off a lot of papers and posted a notice on the door of the bar. I'm having a hard time understanding all of the legal jargon, but apparently they tried to have the bar completely closed and couldn't get an 'emergency shut-down order' or something to that effect, so all it says is that we are forbidden from selling liquor to minors.
I am reading through the papers that they gave us, and there is a defendant written as "John/Jane Doe, fictitiously named parties, true names unknown, the parties intended being any person or entity who is an owner, lessor, lessee, agent, operator and/or occupant of the subject premise, and any other person or entity claiming any right, title or interest in the real property which is the subject of this action."
I want to know if there is anything there that implicates me as a defendant, or if I can rest easy knowing that my case has already been taken care of. Do you think there's a chance that I could be called into court to testify or anything?
I mentioned in the last post that I was technically not an employee of this bar, since the money I make is under the table and there's no paperwork anywhere that even implicates me as an employee. It didn't really matter the last time around, since I still served alcohol to a minor and that was that. But I'm wondering if, in this latest development, if that is at all significant. | do I have anything to worry about, or is it all on the bar's owner at this point? |
t3_4bkh5k | running | Questions about using Nike Free 5.0s for distance, or how to move to a more supportive shoe. | The simplest question here is: Should I just keep running in Nike Free 5.0s if they seem to work for me, even for long distance?
I run up to half marathon distances currently, and have only really ever run in Nike Free 5.0s. Last year I tried to switch to a pair of Nike Pegasus 32 for a bit more cushioning after trying out a bunch at my local shop; I liked how they felt but I quickly started picking up various ankle and shin splint issues that I attributed to the shoes, and switched back. Has anyone else had trouble moving to a more supportive shoe from a minimal shoe?
I occasionally use the Pegasuses for short runs but I'm a little wary of them now, and generally wary of switching my shoes at all. I generally feel good in the Frees, but have occasionally felt slightly numb in my little toes after over an hour running. And I have had injuries over the years, but I've never thought they were to blame.
I only just heard of the [Free RN Distance] which might be exactly what I'm looking for (long [review here] say it is about an 8 on the scale between 0 being no shoes, the Free 5.0 being at... 5 and a traditional shoe at 10), I haven't been able to try a pair and they haven't been mentioned much on /r/running so far either. If anyone knows of a similar type of shoe that might be a small step away from the minimal thing.
I've thought about switching to another brand's minimal shoe but it seems kind of pointless if I like the Frees. I would ideally like to be able to get comfortable in a more traditional distance shoe if I decide to keep increasing the distance up to marathon levels.
As an aside, my current pair of Frees are on about 800 miles and they look and feel fine, I'm going to keep using them unless anyone tells me that is too much!
multi | s; |
t3_4ya95j | relationships | Me [18 F] with my boyfriend kinda? [27 M] a couple months, mostly online until recently. Just found his Instagram and wife's pregnancy announcement | Yesterday I found my boyfriend's Instagram. He said he didn't have one because he taught high school. It was full of stuff about his wife (late 20s). Then I found hers with a pregnancy announcement. I searched those cheater sites and found three about him, with pictures and everything. I really thought he moved to Austin from Arkansas for me. He knows something is up, but I haven't said anything. Should I confront him? Should I message her? Or do I just tell him I am done and try to move on? I feel like a shitty person for doing this to her and dumb for not checking him out online. | he is married and having a kid, do I tell her? I am not the first other woman. |
t3_3h8j9u | tifu | TIFU by waking my brother up with the help of John Cena | Yesterday (I got my brother's consent to post this today) I woke up like I do every morning. Went to the loo, made the bald man cry, had a shower and as I was getting dry I heard my brother (who is 13 by the way) make some noises. "Huh, he must be awake" I mistakenly assumed.
So, the little devil on my shoulder said to me "How about we run into the room and play [My Time Is Now] at full blast?" My brother's a cool guy so I knew we'd have a good laugh.
Oh reddit, I was so mistaken.
I run in naked with the song as loud as it'll go and shove it in my sleeping brothers' face. He shrieked like a banshee and curled up in a ball under the covers and started crying. I thought he was laughing so I said "Change your pants and get in the ring!" After I didn't get an answer out of him and the uncontrollable sobbing continued I thought "ah fuck, I'm such an arse"
Fast forward to 10 minutes later and the poor lad is still shaking and crying. At this point I got worried "oh shit, could he be in shock? Have I caused a severe trauma or a fear of John Cena?". Few moments later as I'm brushing my teeth he runs past the loo teary-eyed and quick as a mouse and he flies downstairs. I quietly get dressed, cursing myself for being such a douche-canoe. I got downstairs, sat down at the breakfast table and my brother was no longer crying but he was shaking and dropping F bombs at a faster rate than Eminem.
Don't worry guys, all is good now and a few hours later he was laughing it off. What a lad. | Almost caused a life long fear of JOHN CENA BABABABAAAAAA |
t3_z3jss | AskReddit | How do you feel about modern advertising, marketing, and television production techniques? | The free market is intended to meet the wants of the masses or, in some cases, the largest reachable demographic.
The reason we see shows on television like '16 and Pregnant' is because that is the current trend in society [disgraceful teens, weird occurrences (JohnKate Plus 8, Octomom)] and economics has proved that when there's a popular trend, it's entirely marketable. It's a pretty simple concept, "you find something people are interested in and you exploit it for some decent cash and publicity"
Aside from television, we have advertisements that are specifically made to make people relate to what they view in some way. For example, huggies diapers tries to market generally to inexperienced parents by showing them that "their diaper will help control your baby and handle their bowel movements until you can get to it".
There are literally thousands of examples of this in modern television and advertising [and I could go on endlessly rambling about why certain celebrities endorse certain products], but I want to see what you guys think about the 'big picture' involving things that we see and hear about every single day. | How do you feel about modern advertising, marketing, and television production techniques? |
t3_1crn46 | relationship_advice | [22/m] having communication problems with my 1 year gf [21/f] | She's terrible with communicating. To the point where she even missed her brother being sent to the ER (my phone was broken for the one day it happened so I didn't hear about it either to tell her). Its not really a problem when I see her every day but as soon as I have to leave town for some reason I freak out because she starts acting upset and weird and then stops communicating. I have some trust issues because she kissed her x of 3 months at the beginning of our relationship but there's been no problems with that since and she did try to accommodate me and trusting her when it happened and I'm sure she's been honest since.
she always promises to do better with communicating but the promises are starting to feel empty and I'm not sure if I'm being the crazy overbearing one or my feelings are being disrespected and I should just walk away from her and find someone else eventually or make it work. Also maybe advice on how to go about working on my obvious and maybe unfair lack of trust because if it is me I'd really like to make it better? Thanks guys. | gf wont keep up with her cell phone, I worry a lot, she never seems to care or change but in the end it might be me. |
t3_179esn | BreakUps | Broke up about 2 months ago, she (24f) calls me (25m). What does this mean? | Little back story, we were met in March and were "together" for the summer but made it official in August. In December, she broke it off because she doesn't feel it anymore. It hurt because I was ready to tell her I loved her, but I can't change her mind so I went no contact for this past month.
Some information: her mom died right before we started seeing eachother. It was hard on her and it put me in an awkward situation but I made the best of it by being there for her when I barely even knew her. The past 10 months were incredible with her. We would see eachother 2-3 times a week and on weekends. The breakup was out of the blue so I really didn't get the reason why she broke it off in the first place.
Now, 2 days ago she texted me and asked if I'd be mad if she would call me and see how i am. I said no so we chatted for a good 20 minutes just catching up and whatnot. When we hung up I told her to not be a stranger and we can talk, because I am fairly over it (couple dates, had sex with one).
Last night she texted me like we used to before. It was like we never skipped a beat. She was even out with her friends and she was texting me so I didn't know what to think.
I'm still unsure of her motives, if she just wants to be friends, if she wants to try something more. I'd be ecstatic if she wanted to try again because there was really nothing wrong with our relationship before, but I am not giving my hopes up.
My reasoning, in my own head, for her breaking up with me was that she was weak when her mom died, and when she finally grew stronger as a person and was able to stand on her own, she tossed me aside like she didn't need me. Maybe she realized now that what we had was more than just for her to cope with her mom's death, and that's why she is trying to contact me again. | ex of almost a year calls and texts me a couple days ago and we start talking like old times. Her mom died when we first met and I feel she used our relationship to strengthen herself and then she broke up with me out of the blue because she "wasn't feeling it". What does this mean when she calls? |
t3_1bzcb9 | relationship_advice | [25/M] Female friend taking over my life, we're not in relationship. | One year ago, I met a girl, and I'm so confused on where we stand, I seriously don't know what to do. We spend almost every day exercising, watching movies or just hanging out. We have very similar interests in general and we either text or talk on the phone every day. Although I have not made any advances to be more then friends, I have always kept it flirty. I make fun of her and keep her laughing all the time, and she is very physical with me in general.
I have treated her like a princess, and been there whenever she needed something. She in return has changed my whole life around (for the better), and is constantly helping me improve myself in every way possible. I was never fat, but slightly out of shape and depressed for a while. She put me on a diet, and exercised with me 2-4 hours each day for approximately 8 months now. She has transformed me from a couch-potato to a guy with rock hard abs. She is very proud this, and is constantly showing me off to her friends and other people. I'm not in control of what I wear to parties, what I eat, how I walk, nor how I cut my hair anymore. I have never felt or looked better.
In a way I keep hoping she is transforming me into a guy she could eventually date. Am I retarded for thinking this way? Or should I be happy for all her help, and try to meet other girls? My fear is that if I do meet another girl she would be hurt. I mean there must be a reason she is putting in all this effort. | I have been transformed and whipped hard by a girl I'm not in a relationship with. Could she be doing this with a purpose? |
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