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t3_mm8r7 | AskReddit | Hey reddit, I need your help charming the pants off my boyfriend! | So my boyfriend/best friend since forever surprised me with a list of 200 reasons why he loves me. Naturally, I have to one up that. He's obsessed with 11:11 wishes, so I wanna make a list of 1111 reasons why he's the best ever. But, turns out it's really hard to get past about 400ish.
Now before you say, "but we don't know the personality of this lovely gent, how can we court him effectively?!" I got you covered. A lot of his list featured things like "you are for whom the bell tolls," "Everyone must wear a sleep mask from now on so that their eyesight doesn't mess with the perfect contours of your face," etc. | hit me up with your cleverest compliment and/or sassiest pick-up line |
t3_3m5etl | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] 4 1/2 months, find myself getting jealous/self conscious when hearing about his dating/sexual history. | Let me begin by saying that boyfriend and I are doing so incredibly well. I'm pretty confident that I love the guy (just haven't told him yet). We are pretty open and comfortable with one another. We have a great relationship, great sex, etc.
He is five years my senior, and therefore has had more time than I in the dating world. He had a girlfriend for four years, and has been single for the past four years, dating around and such. I have had one crappy previous relationship that lasted two years and nothing serious before or after. Both of us have slept around prior to meeting. That is definitely the case. We haven't discussed numbers, specific incidents or people, nor do I particularly want to.
In passing he has mentioned sex, or we have run into people he has dated in the past (I frequent his area, so we are bound to run into people he knows/girls of his past). I find myself getting incredibly self conscious in these moments. Obviously I know that our dating past is what has turned us into who we are, and we wouldn't be dating if it wasn't for that history. We wouldn't be having as great sex if we weren't experienced. We wouldn't be the people we are today! I understand all of these things, but it still bothers me.
This is something I have never and will never let interfere with my actual relationship with him. I know I am being silly. I just don't like picturing him with other people! I have never felt this way about someone before, and I guess I feel more protective of him. I know he is a catch. And he has clearly chosen to be with me (another reason why I know I am being silly).
So I guess what I am wondering is, fellow redditors: what is your advice with dealing with the dating history of your partners? It is what it is, of course. How do you refrain from feeling pangs of jealousy or self consciousness in these situations? Thanks for the help :) | Wondering how you fellow redditors feel about your current significant other's dating history? Has it had any effect on your relationship? How do refrain from feeling self conscious or jealous? Thank you!! |
t3_169lpm | AskReddit | Good Guy Babysitter or Bad Guy Buddy? | I have an acquaintance on Facebook, I have known him for a few years(he's 25). He's a pretty nice guy, he was always somewhat over weight and didn't date much, but has recently slimmed down and always hangs at the bars. Well, here's my dilemma. He always talks about how he's babysitting his female bar friends' daughters( several different girls), and he even posted a picture of himself with a little girl last night "My new buddy". It just seemed creepy. These moms all feel confident letting him watch their daughters(these are young girls who bar hop all the time themselves), but in this day and age, I don't see how that can't be questioned. Am I overlooking a good deed and making something bad out of it, or should I speak to someone about it? | a guy posts pics of himself with little girls who are of no relation to him, but the moms are okay with it. |
t3_26ke8u | running | Cramps in my shins -- what to do? | Hi y'all --
I've just started C25K, and the past two times I've tried to do w1d1 I've had to stop after the 3rd run interval because of painful, burning cramps in the front of my legs. I'm fairly certain its the tibialis anterior and NOT shin splints, as I've had shin splints after long-distance hiking, and this feels very different. The burn comes first (expected), but then the cramps starts roaring down from my knee to my ankle, and then it feels as though the front crease between my shin and ankle is going to explode into flames.
Here's probably a TMI section.
* I'm not in great cardiovascular shape, which is why I want to start running.
* I'm 5'7" and 180 lbs. My diet is pretty good, and I can hike fairly long distances with heavy packs without issue, but at a slow and steady pace.
* I stretch twice daily with a basic yoga routine, once in the morning and once after running or hiking.
* I just went and bought new running shoes from a running-specific shop here in Bellingham, and got inserts to support my flat arches and kinda shitty knees. The clerk-lady did the fitting, so I'm confident that my shoes are ok.
So what do I do? Here are my thoughts:
1) Stop running, substitute a daily hike up to elevation (i.e., the Arboretum or Fragrance Lake) until I've taken more weight off and am in a little better shape.
2) Try running on dirt instead of pavement.
3) Stop running, start biking until some more weight is off, then try again.
I recognize this could be an electrolyte thing, but is there anything else *other* than bananas that works quickly and well? Bananas are gross, but I can force myself to ingest them in smoothie form.
Could this just be a problem with my running form?
Help?
and thank you. | Front of my shins cramp with any running. Halp. |
t3_2dhahx | tifu | TIFU by asking my dad to pick me up | *Backstory: My dad is Asian and is laid back, but when he gets pissed, there is visible steam coming out of his ears. I'm at my girlfriend's house and when my girlfriend gets too tired, I ask to have my dad pick me up.*
So last night I was at my girlfriend's house. I told my dad that I would be home at around 10 but no later than midnight.
As 10PM was approaching, I ask if my girlfriend can take me home (I don't have a car yet and I'm taking my road test on Tuesday.) She says she's tired and asks if we can go after she takes a nap because I said that I'd be home before midnight. Fair enough. At this point, it's almost 11 and she hasn't gotten up yet. I get up and call my father to ask if he can pick me up. Tonight, it happened to be pouring out. My dad says he'll pick me up and so the wait begins. My girlfriend pokes her head out of the sheets and says I should lay down until he gets here. I oblige and promptly lay down.
**This was probably the biggest mistake that I could have ever made.**
I end up sleeping through five texts and two calls from my father. My dad has to end up bringing one of my friends that lives around the neighborhood to point out the house to him (or he didn't want to ring the doorbell) and had my friend ring the door bell, proceeding to wake everyone up in the house, including making the dogs bark for a good 20 minutes after I leave. As you could assume, it was a very mad and quiet ride home. | Went to girlfriend's house. Girlfriend took nap before she took me home. Promised Asian father I would be home before midnight. Ask him to pick me up. End up sleeping through several texts and phone calls. Father gets friend to point out house. Rings doorbell. Wake up, sprint out the door and have awkward ride home with daddy. |
t3_rb1qv | BreakUps | In need of urgent help! My ex just texted... | Okay so i'll try and make this long story short...
Me (22 f ) and my ex (23 m ) were together for 2 years. Rocky relationship, he was a "bad boy" type and I was crazy about him. He cheated many times and i kept taking him back. We lived together for a period of time but he just treated me very badly.
I broke up with him 4 months ago, i was still very in love with him but i just couldn't take the lies anymore.
He got a new girlfriend within a week, apparently they broke up a few weeks ago.
We have had absolutely no contact for the last 4 months. We had a terrible breakup and there was yelling and screaming on the phone and we have not seen each other since.
So today he texts me out of the blue. Im freaking out because i am still so in love with him. I have tried to move on i even dated another guy for a month but i just couldn't seem to get past my ex.
So my ex ends up calling me after a few texts and we chat about life and what has been going on and then he tells me that he is still in love with me and that he broke up with his new girlfriend because he still loved me. And he asked to see me tomorrow.
Now i don't know what to do. My parents and all my family and friends hate him so much because he treated me terribly and they would be so mad at me for even talking to him, but i am so crazy about him and i have missed him so badly i feel like it would be stupid to ignore that.
Should i meet up with him? | Ex boyfriend cheated, a lot. Broke up 4 months ago no contact. He called me today and asked to see me. I miss him a lot and want to go but know all my family and friends will be mad about it. |
t3_4zy0dt | relationships | Me [20 F] with my interest [20 M], unsure how to proceed | I originally met this guy (let's call him John) through a friend of mine around half a year ago. I always found him pretty cute, but I was hesitant at first to start anything because his English isn't too great and I was worried about the language barrier.
John and I ended up working at the same summer position where we'd occasionally see each other. For some reason (maybe out of shyness), we never said hi, but instead maintained this odd eye contact for 3-4 seconds. I got a random facebook notif from him liking one of my old posts from 2011 though, so I just bit the bullet and messaged him.
Our conversations have been pretty great thus far. They go on for 5+ hours at a time and we stay up until 3/4 am. He seems pretty interested in asking about me, and is pretty open to sharing about himself too. John also remembers random details I told him back in March (honestly I barely remember what I said). As for anything vaguely flirty, we were joking about doing a fairly precarious activity, and he ended up saying something along the lines of "you can try it, I'll protect you" (in a joking manner, I promise this was a lot less cheesy in context). He's also commented about how anyone would be lucky to have a girlfriend like me.
So I got the sense that he might like me, but the issue is that it's usually me who initiates the conversation. I'll wait for a few days, send a message etc. He does talk a lot about hanging out, but hasn't suggested anything concrete. I'm not too sure where to go from here. Should I keep messaging and see what happens? I'm worried about coming off as over eager especially if he only sees me as a friend. Or should I take a step back and see if he takes the initiative? | I'm concerned about mistaking friendliness for interest. Not sure whether to take a passive or a more assertive approach. |
t3_501y68 | relationships | Me [28F] with my friend/coworker [30M] of 3 years, help me stop making it weird! | The good: I have a friend at work who is a really good guy. He's fun and smart and all that, but the big thing is that he's the person there I trust 100% to have my back and to be there if I needed anything. He really has just gone above and beyond to help me out and I hope he knows I have his back too. This is important because we work in a high stress career and it has made a huge difference to have that, especially when I was just getting off the ground. We hang out one on one (lunch, coffee, drinks after work) every few weeks and see each other at group things sometimes.
The awkward: Big shocker...I have had a crush on him off and on, particularly lately, and it would be best to get over it. I have thought for a long time he probably likes me in some kind of "not just friends" way (no way is someone just THAT nice) but it was also pretty clear wasn't comfortable going there. (Unfortunately, ambivalent attraction was a hallmark of my longest relationship, so that vibe sucks me in in a familiar, if unhealthy, way.) For a while I dealt with this by just almost never seeking him out and letting him initiate things, but eventually I felt like a shitty friend for letting him do all the work.
More recently, I was actually debating asking him out, but the last time we hung out he just so happened to bring up his rule against dating coworkers (i.e., he totally knew something was up and preemptively rejected me, awkward!). So, not happening. I'm sure we can just carry on never bringing this up and acting like nothing happened (especially since...nothing happened).
Now, I just want to get over my crush, have things not be weird, and keep my friend. I'm fantastic at getting over things if I can just cut out interaction with the person--out of sight, out of mind. But I would really rather not change our relationship, except for how I feel about it. Advice? | How can I get over a crush but keep my friend? |
t3_1ivvh7 | tifu | TIFU picking up a book that was peed on | First submission here, long time lurker, but i thought I'd share a story of mine here:
7th grade I was a quiet kid, not the brightest and going through my chubby stage well I'm in my English class and have to go to the bathroom. Well after I'm done in the bathroom and washing my hands I notice a English text book directly under the urinal and I remembered someone said about a group of kids peeing on a book yesterday, but I knew it couldn't be this one, so I picked it up and wiped the bit off stuff on it. Well I proceeded to walk into the classroom with it and I said "Mr.B I found this book in the bathroom an-" I was interrupted when a kid from the class said "DUDE DID YOU FIND THAT NEAR THE URINAL" as he was holding back his laughter and a second later he said "I PEED ON THAT BOOK DUDE" I then screamed and dropped the book in the recycling bin and ran to the bathroom and washed my hands for 10 minutes. I came back to the whole class and teacher laughing at me, for two years I was called "Pee book". | tried to do something right picked up a book with piss on it, got called "pee book" for two years. |
t3_16yq8m | relationship_advice | [17/F] My boyfriend is [16/M] and I am wondering should I tell him about something that happened to me in my past... | We've been dating for a year... and he has been completely honest with me about everything in his life... everything that's ever happened to him; we're best friends and I really do love him... and I want to tell him.. but I don't know if I should? I mean... what if he were to find out do you think he would be mad that I never told him? Also, would it be better for our relationship if I did tell him? And if I do tell him how would I got about doing so?!
Okay... so here it is- sorry, this is a bit hard for me to talk about still...
Well when I was three I went to my best friends house and it was just like any other day... but when she went to go get a snack her brother tried to molest me. I don't know what is exactly qualified as molesting.... but he came up behind me, and stuck his hand in my pants.. he almost got down to... well to be blunt, my privates, before I ran away screaming before he could. He was six, I was three. And it has really bothered me for a long time... and I am better now and don't think about it that much at all- but I was just wondering if it would be a good idea to share that part of my past with him? He's shared everything about himself with me... Also if it changes anything I never see my old best friend or her brother anymore, they moved away. | should I tell my boyfriend that a boy tried to molest me once when I was a child? |
t3_48i5sh | Advice | Missed class again. Professor not happy. | So I've missed every one of my Software Engineering classes.. Mostly due to no motivation/depression. Got an e-mail from professor basically saying to go to class or fail. It didn't say directly, but that was the idea. Basically said he's not going to fail me for missing all those classes, but it was going to lower my grade, and if I didn't start showing up he doesn't see me passing the class. I said sorry and I would start showing up to classes.
I have a midterm in another class today, and I hadn't slept in 2 days, so I took ~8mg melatonin and 15mg Mirtazapine last night. Still couldn't get to sleep for a while, but eventually did. Ya, I overslept and missed class (at least I got cool 7hrs though). Idk if my alarm didn't go off, but I don't think so (although I could have just been half asleep and turned it off/on again).
So what do I do? Professor is undoubtedly really pissed off. I'm not telling him about my failure to have half-decent mental health, but that's been the reason that I've been skipping classes. I know it's just excuses and it's my fault, but I really was going to start going to classes again today. Should I even email or talk to him after class? I feel it would be just throwing lemons at a cut. | Miss every lecture, professor emails me to go. I say I will, but then oversleep. What do I do? |
t3_kadb8 | AskReddit | IT decision: continue as a Java(EE) dev or readjust to a network admin. Advice needed! | I graduated this year and have been studying all summer as a Java2EE programmer. I've been trying to get a job all summer, with little success, but not done yet. I still have some few opportunities: i'm waiting for a reply from a big company in my town (in case of rejection i can send my CV to a few more companies).
Meanwhile a friend of mine (much older than me) got hold of some fiber-optic cables and started a business a couple of months ago. He 'rents' traffic to the internet providers in our town. So he started to seek for net admins but frankly has little success finding them. So he proposes to me to pay for my Cisco certification lessons and tests and hire for a good salary if i do well.
That's my dilemma. I'm not sure what to do. I never was into networks and besides that i already have appreciable knowledge for a Java starter. I mean, throughout the summer i learned J2EE core, jsp, servlets, Struts2, JSF2, Hibernate, Junit (+ reading books like head first:OOA&D,Clean Code, Patterns and principles etc).
On the other side, if i go with the net admin proposal i'll have double or triple the amount of money than a Junior Java programmer.
Your advice? | 've been studying as a Java2EE dev all summer but now a friend comes proposing me to work as a net admin for x2/x3 as much money + pays for my Cisco certification. |
t3_1s6u7z | relationships | Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of about a year. Feeling a little jealous because of her career. | So my girlfriend is training to be a massage therapist and just started actually working with clients this past week. She has been doing really well in her program and was just told she has been chosen to start working with the athletes at the university in her town.
I'm happy for her, but can't get the image of her rubbing all over naked stud athletes that are our same general age out of my head. For what it's worth it's a major university with big time football and basketball programs, the #2 ranked basketball program in the NCAA currently that churns out NBA players every year, so it's not like these are small time guys. This doesn't help the image in my head at all. I just keep picturing the typical porno setting where she's massaging some muscular basketball player until the towel slides off... and you know the rest. I know this is stupid, but I can't shake the thought.
I've told her that I'm a little uncomfortable about it, but not to the extent that I actually am because I don't want to be a downer about her career.
We're also in a semi-LDR, about an hour away which doesn't help.
Please tell me I'm being ridiculous so I can calm down about the whole thing. | Girfriend will be giving stud athletes massages all day and I can't help but feel jealous. |
t3_337d13 | relationship_advice | [28/M] - I think I may be hung up on a friend (27/F) of mine. How should I approach the situation? | I have this friend. We met briefly back when we were in our very early 20s. She was a friend of a friend and somehow developed a fairly substantial crush on me. At the time I wasn't about it for a multitude of reasons, lack of experience notwithstanding.
Fast forward how ever many years and we have kept in touch by text. Over the last year or so we have texted each other daily, sometimes quite a lot. I've started to like her quite a bit, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same.
*The only reason I don't just date her is that she lives on the East Coast (US) and I live on the West Coast.* I can't do a long distance relationship, nor would I really like it. It just seems like an incomplete way to have a relationship. I am neurotic enough in a relationship when I have local relationships and couldn't handle the distance. She came and visited my city last month and stayed with me a couple days (with another friend the other days). We made out quite a bit and did some other stuff (no actual sex though).
When I think about dating in general, she keeps popping into my head (i.e. how would my dating someone local affect our friendship?). I am a human who has intimacy needs and shit, but this hangup seems to make me completely unmotivated to try date (there are also some other possible reasons for this... as I mentioned, I can be very neurotic and trying to date has always made my mind race which generally makes me unhappy) | I have a long distance friend who I have some feelings for and don't know how to handle being hung up on these feelings? |
t3_1bhun4 | relationships | My SO[f22] and I [m20] are stuck and confused | We have known each other for 5 years. I was her first kiss when we met, and her first time 2 years later. We have been seriously involved since then. I am at school as was she until recently, so we had agreed not to try the long distance, although we were both exclusive, spoke regularly, and dated whenever we were home. I think that we are both lucky in that we both consider each other best friends. My school is a military academy however and that means that I will owe service time upon graduation. She is worried about that lifestyle (mostly based on movies and what popular culture says). I would not be an infantry officer or anything so little danger and fewer deployments. However her worries over this have prevented us becoming more "official" although we both know each others parents(dinners and such) and everyone acts as if we are dating. I want to make us more official, but she is worried about much further out. She says she is worried she will break my heart and therefore doesn't want to be more serious(I believe her, no ulterior motive). It recently came to a head and we are meeting tomorrow to talk about it, and I just need some advice on how to assuage her fears and uncertainties. | I am in the military and my SO is afraid of what all that might entail in the future and I need help on how to explain it to her. |
t3_34c9rm | relationships | I [23 M] am terrified of women and have little to no social skills involving them, and would like some help evolving. | I have been single and very lonely for quite a while, and no matter how hard I try to overcome my fears, I freeze up around women and end up looking like an idiot and end up even less confident with myself. I have never been confident in my looks, and I am pretty frequently dissed about how I look.
As for a bit of back story, I feel like I should explain why/how I ended up this way do that maybe you can understand. I've only had one serious relationship, and it kinda happened by accident and it ended VERY badly. I had this relationship at 19 and haven't had any luck really since then. I was bullied in high school by both guys and girls, I was made fun of constantly, and the pretty and popular girls would always play pranks on me when they would find out I had a crush on one of them. When I signed up to join the Marine Corps my senior year, everyone on campus, save for my one and only best friend, spread that the only reason I did it was to impress the girl I liked (who hated me, by the way, and wasn't afraid to tell people). So I almost didn't even join because of that rumor. Hell, as I'm typing this there is a beautiful girl sitting across from me at my table at Starbucks waiting for her drink and I am afraid to even say "hi" to her.
Fellow redditors, what can I do? I'm afraid that I'm going to live the rest of my life depressed and alone. Any advice would be 100% appreciated. Thank you in advance for reading this far. | I am terrified of women and need desperate help in overcoming it. |
t3_n6xyy | AskReddit | I think my sister may be suicidal... I don't know what to do. | (Throwaway account here). I recently received an email from my 14-year-old sister's best friend, saying that she was really worried about her and that she wasn't "handling her problems well anymore." She said that my sister doesn't think she's worth anything, and has pretty much given up. I am in college about 2.5 hours away, and I don't talk to my sister on the phone. We talk when I visit home, and I thought we were pretty close, although I did notice she has become more withdrawn lately. My sister is very sarcastic, cynical, and realistic, but I thought that was partly her personality and partly just being 14. She has gone through a lot in the last year, because last spring she developed chronic hives that a) are very painful and frightening (sometimes her face or neck will swell, but she's never not been able to breathe) and b) will not go away even though she has seen every specialist in the area. She has seen a couple of specialists at the well-known Children's Research Hospital nearby, and even they don't know what to do (they even suggested chemo drugs, but my mom said absolutely not). Her allergy doctor has her on lots of medications, which do help control it, but sometimes she has also had to take prednisone (a steroid) to control the swelling. I am wondering if maybe her depression is a side effect of some of her medications... But mostly, what I don't know is how to approach her and get her to talk to me. I have tried asking her how things are going but she won't really answer, and she acts fine when you try to talk to her. Her friend told my mom as well, so I'm not sure what my mom is trying to do about it. I am really worried about her and was hoping Reddit could give me some advice. | My 14yo little sister is depressed and her best friend thinks she may be suicidal. How can I get her to talk about it to me or someone? |
t3_wle1w | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what's the strangest dream you've ever had? | I want to hear the boundaries of our imagination; or something weird I guess.
Mine is that suddenly I'm in a swampy redneck area, and I've been commiting incest with my sister. My redneck parents don't like this, so we fight in an ultimate Kung Fu duel. Me, my pot bellied sunburned dad thing, and my mother who is in her undergarments and smoking a cigarette.
We fight, I win, the right to: "Love who I damn please Pa!" and father is upset; so he decides to kill his wife, but in grabbing her by the neck, her porcupine butt prickles his man bits to which he exclaims: "Whoo Bessie, okay I ain't gonna kill you today, now that I got some o' that fine porcupine ass!"
Then I ride off in the hovercraft down the swamp with my sister.
Okay, I'm Middle Eastern, I don't have a sister, and I've never been to a marshy swamp house. What the hell brain...well I do live in Idaho now, that might be why actually.
What're your strangest dreams?! | I dream out the life of what I think rednecks do. |
t3_r4wv4 | dogs | Advice needed about rescuing a dog from an elderly hoarder. | Four years ago I left home to join the Army and had to leave my new puppy with my grandparents and I am very grateful of them taking her in.
However after my grandfather passed away my grandmother has become a hoarder. Her condition is so bad that I couldn't move back home after the military because there is to much of her junk in the house.
About my dog, she is never walked and is only allowed to walk the length of her leash outside which is tied to back door. Sometimes her feces will not get picked up for weeks and there is so much poop that she'd rather go potty inside the house. She has had flees off and on for years now.
My problem is that I threatened my grandmother with taking the dog out before but she told me she would stop taking her medicine if i did! She needs the dog to fill the gap in her life that my grandfather left and even thinks the dog is a reincarnation of my grandfather even though they both lived at the same time.
I do not have a proof of ownership to just take the dog away and I am worried of her reporting the dog stolen. If the police come to the house and see the condition she's living in they may report my 16 year old brother to social services, my little brother also lives in the house. Not to mention the fact that my grandmother is emotionally unstable and could hurt herself. And knowing her this could completely severe my relationship with her.
I want to save my dog from my grandmother's condition but am I legally able to? What agency would I need to contact to be successful? | Hoarding grandmother is not capable of taking care of her dog. What are my options? |
t3_31pgol | relationships | Need breakup advice [M22] feels like I'm getting really screwed over | My girlfriend is studying abroad. We've been together 3 years and she's been overseas for 3 months and will be there for another 3. We had plans to travel together at the end of her study which I've already started to pay for. Last night we arrange a call and she tells me, cold and emotionless, that she is not ready for a committed relationship (she's 21) and needs to be single. Despite me pushing and pushing she couldn't give me any reasons about what would be wrong with our relationship to cause this, just that she needs to be young and single. I can't believe it. That she would be so selfish to do this while she's over there and I'm here, living the same old boring life, and she's on an inflated lifestyle high, rather than wait until we both get back. It feels like she's throwing away a 3 year relationship without giving it a chance.
I helped her through so many issues and never even got to witness the fun party loving girl who she has become since going on exchange. And she keeps telling me it's got nothing to do with other guys, it's just her needing to be free. A while back she teased the idea of a break and I said a break while studying abroad is not fair on me, and I would be happy to do that but after she got back not while on exchange. She was happy to do this, and now it's not even a break, its just an outright break-up.
Just 1 week ago she was telling me to be ready to book flights and accomodation in a few days.
She is being so selfish and not giving me any options to save the relationship. I'm feeling really down and out and struggling to get through the hours in the day. Anyone have some advice for me? | girlfriend of 3 years been studying abroad for three months, broke up with me via phone call last night. No explanation given other than im not ready for a committed relationship. Was meant to travel with her in 3 months. |
t3_2ojl0r | relationships | I (16 F) recently got asked out by a guy (17) not even a week of talking to each other. Is this a bad sign and/or taking it too fast? | So recently I started talking to this guy... We have a LOT in common and it seems as though we have known each other forever.. Even as a socially awkward human being I feel comfortable talking to him.
Anyway, we haven't actually seen each other in person. But, we do live close by to each other and we both really want to meet each other. I've never dated anyone officially before so I am approaching new territory.
He asked me on a date the second day we started talking.. Is this a bad sign? Like is this normal for people to do.. I've been asked out several times but never on the second day of talking. | Recently met this really cool guy online. He asked me out on a date on the second day of talking.. Is this a red sign? Is this rushing into something too quickly?? |
t3_25ibmh | legaladvice | How to fight an illegal seniors home operating on my street? | I live in the suburbs of Toronto in a very quiet, old, residential neighbourhood. Two years ago the house across the street from me was sold. I've always thought something fishy was going on over there, but unable to accuse them of anything specific I just let it go. Many cars coming and going, and not knowing even one specific person that lives in that house.
Today, I get a knock at my door. Two people from about 10 minutes away tell me that it is an illegal senior's home. They did the same thing on their street- ran the home illegally for years, and then applied for the licensing. They showed me their petition, the public hearing notice, and I also looked it up online and I found that the application to the Retirement Home Regulatory Authority for the address in question. It states that an application has been submitted, but nothing else.
The issues are that the traffic on this quiet street has increased A LOT since our 'new neighbours' moved in, that this will create a commercial zoning building in a residential area, and it will also drive down the value of homes on our street.
So far my plan is to:
* Contact my city Councillor, and my MP for advice and letters of support.
* Contact City of Toronto planning department, and ask for advice on how to fight this.
* Speak to my neighbours and get them all to call 311 to register their complaints.
I would also like to start a petition, but I'm not sure what format it has to take and to whom it should be addressed. [This] is the format I'm looking at as a template, but obviously the addressee and information would be different.
Does anyone have any advice they can give? | Neighbours are running an illegal seniors home on my street and in the process of getting it legalized. How to fight it? |
t3_2ix9d6 | relationships | My [16 M] Dad [48 M] just explained to me why I'm a piece of shit and "don't give a fuck for family or others." | **Quick background:**
My dad and I are pretty cool, sometimes we really connect and other times no so much. He is extremely stressed from work, and feels that I have slightly tempered personality towards my family because of him. These last few weeks he's been telling me, he's been trying to work on himself to handle the stress and feel happy again. Also he doesn't usually swear unless he feels necessary. For a background on me people describe me as one of the chillest guys. I usually don't show much emotion, just because I don't really care that much.
I went to Chipotle with my father to get a quick dinner. It was going pretty smoothly until we sat down and he had a bit of his food and told me the avocado was bad. I asked him what was wrong and he just said "I come here every other day and the avocado is bad today." He kind of suggested for me to do something about it. I said something along the lines of "Are you sure it's bad? If you don't like it, you can tell them and they'll fix it for you no problem." He said "It's okay." So I just ate my burrito and the whole time he had this look on his face like a depressed heartbroken teenage girl. I mentioned it and he didn't say anything. On the drive home, he brought up that I didn't go and handle the situation for him about his food and then told me that I should do things like that without him having to tell or ask me to. He later continues on to say that I "don't give a fuckk for my family, or other at all." That I ask for favors but don't do anything for them. While this isn't entirely true, I am not jumping around doing favors for my family members or others either.
**My take on the situation:**
I see his point, but at the same time I think he's extremely overreacting. | Went for dinner, on the way home he ranted me "not giving a fuck for family" |
t3_y4vwu | relationship_advice | Just had an terrible break up from a polly relationship and would like some advice on help and what my next step should be. | I had been datining two girls in a polly relationship. Girl number one I broke up with last week after several years of datiing. I broke up with her in a hospital while a therapist was there because I had tried to break up with her ealier and she tried to kill herself. (Yep, i broke up with a girl while she was in therapy). Girl number two broke up with me because I had lots of rebuilding to do after that break up and she felt that if i got in a relationship now, it would be detrimental to me figuring out who I am.
So, after all this I am having lots of trouble eating, not crying on a regular basis and depression overall. Just want to know what are some good things to do after a break up and how long I should wait to start trying to date again, or how would I know if I am ready.
So far, I am trying to reach out to my friends and family for help but not a lot of people are being helpful. | Looking for advice on depression and when I should start dating after a break up |
t3_2odc1x | relationships | I [23M] met a girl [20F] at a work event recently. I'm sure she was into me and we seemed like such a great fit for each other. I forgot to take her number and now I'm devastated. | She was mindblowingly great. And I'm quite sure she was into me as well! The only way to contact her is at the next forum, which can take place anytime up to a year from now.
It took place on Tuesday and she has been on my mind so much since then. I am dreading these next few months.
If it was a rejection, I could let it go quite quickly, but uncertainly waiting is worse.
I'm going to do all I can to find her. Like text friends in that branch to see if they know her. There is nothing I can do other than waiting patiently.
In the meantime I guess I'll continue living life as best as I can. What else can I do? I appreciate all tips and insights. | Met mind-blowing girl, forget to get her number. Next time I see her is up to a year from now. The wait is going to suck.. |
t3_er2ys | AskReddit | To any gay men or men who have had gay sex...do you have trouble giving blood? | My roommate gives blood as often as possible, sometimes more often than recommended. I always thought of him as a hero, but I've been scared of giving blood myself. Now I'm a straight man who has experimented with gay sex. I am not ashamed of this and do not keep it from anyone who asks. So when I finally worked up the courage to follow my roommate to the blood drive, I told the American Red Cross that I have had sex with a man, ("even once, since 1977" is the official question.) I was immediately turned away. While hurt, I understood that it was a rule leftover from the AIDS scares of the early 80's. I went back later that month, and this time, having learned from my mistake, I lied about having sex with a man. After completing the questionnaire I was informed that the interviewer did not know why, but my record was marked such that I was not allowed to give blood. Now I've always liked the Red Cross, so I have difficulty believing that they are officially homophobic. I want to hear it from other people first. So anyone else who has had gay sex with men and tried to give blood, have you been marked permanently ineligible like me? | The Red Cross won't take my blood because I admitted to having gay sex. |
t3_4em2qz | relationships | I (30/f) can't get my husband (31/m) to get a job or see why I can carry all the weight any longer. | My husband and I have been married for 6 years. Of those 6 years, he has worked maybe a year. I, stupidly, allowed him to quit his last job in 2011 to go back to school to get his degree. He didn't finish the first semester. Ever since, he has been a stay at home dad.
The stay at home dad arrangement worked great until our son went to kindergarten. We didn't have to worry about paying for day care. Now he just sits at home and plays video games. I come home and the house is generally a mess. I am often left to sort out dinner. And it's all really frustrating.
I feel like all I do is work. We barely make ends meet on my income and I have to work a lot of overtime to pay for extra necessities that aren't bills or groceries. I'm constantly having to keep a mental tally of how much money is in the bank and stress over how to make it last.
When I bring up getting a job, he completely shuts down. He suffers from depression and anxiety, which he has been getting treatment for since about September. He says he feels better, but I'm not seeing it and it certainly hasn't given him that boost of motivation to get off his ass and look for even a part time job. Hell, I wouldn't care if he worked a customer service position from home. Income is income...as long as it's legal.
I've thought many, many times about leaving. I am worried about what the aftermath with him mentally would be. He would have nowhere to go as his family has made it clear they don't want him. I feel really stuck and that stresses me out even more.
All I want is for him to contribute. I am at my wits end right now and don't know what to do. Counseling is out of the question because he doesn't believe in it.
Help? | husband won't get a job. Tired of carrying all he weight. Help? |
t3_14g1k3 | relationships | Ask to be exclusive? | I (m31) have been casually dating her (f26) for about 5 months now. Been out of the game for a long time due to having a LTR (5 yrs) followed by a (1 yr) dry spell. When we started we were seeing other people, but has gradually gotten more and more exclusive. I love her, she returns the feeling, everything going well. To my question: is it common practice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/exclusivity talk? Or it a more assumed, organically grown thing? Never really ran into this before, I actually asked my last girlfriend to move in with me before we had even said I love you and it was something that just went unsaid (long story). I'm afraid of sounding like a high school kid, but I don't want to miss an opportunity. Ideas for bringing it up maybe? Just be blunt? | do I ask my girl to be my girlfriend? |
t3_dupn1 | AskReddit | What can I do to help my mom? | Hey reddit, throwaway (used for another purpose here.)
So I am currently 21 years old and live on my own. I have been on my own going to college for about 2 years now - making ends meet fine..not living beyond my means, lots of student debt but no credit cards..all that fun stuff.
Occasionally I have found myself in need of cash for car repairs, emergency bills, etc. and my Mom has always been there to help. She works a laborious job - long hours, shitty factory work - but makes enough to get by herself as well as support my sister who is in high school.
I just found out that since the company she works for has been losing business she will be layed off in two weeks. This coming when she was trying to finally get all of her own debt paid, correct her mistakes and move on with her life (after a divorce that left her with all the debt and bills for paying for my sister.)
She is not a greedy person. She has no interest in seeing, talking to or sueing her ex-husband. She just wants to move on but doesn't even have a car good enough to get her 30 miles - which is how far she would have to go from our small town to the only town big enough in the area to have a wal-mart.
I have been taking as many freelance jobs as I can trying to get some money together to get her a vehicle for christmas so she at least has a chance - but what else can I do?
I am a college student -Video Production and have been trying to get more work, sell dvds for $5 of my shitty first short film(mostly to family for the purpose of raising money to help my mom)
but I don't think I will be able to pull it off. I am not making enough extra cash. So what would be smart?
Get a car loan? Donate plasma? try and take out more student loan money?(Ugh)
Basically any ventures and ideas are extremely welcome - I am 21 and I have plenty of my life to pay off debt so I am willing to take on more if it means helping my mom. | how can I get my soon-to-be- laid off - at risk for being homeless - mom a car so she can keep working??? are loans the only option? |
t3_2ssdry | tifu | TIFU by grossing out my Sister's Friends | Next school-week of mine is finals so this weekend I have been holed up in my basement studying. After having an awesome late lunch of sausage, ham and bread/butter at around 2:00 I decided to continue studying. Now, my sister is very social and regularly has people over. Luckily this time it was only three guys who she was hanging with, and I knew they would be gone soon. At around 5:30, I felt like I needed to take a gigantic shit but I knew my sister and her 3 friends were going to a party soon so I waited. At around 6, I could not wait any longer so I took a long laborious shit in the toilet in the basement. Right when I got out of the bathroom and went back to my study area in the basement I heard the silent talking and laughing of my sister and her friends. The smell had wafted throughout the entire floor, and there was no place to go to escape it. I knew that the cab would be there to pick them up in a few minutes so I decided to hide in my study area and wait it out. Turns out the cab was late, and 2 of her friends were so disgusted that they waited outside in the 10° weather. When the cab had arrived and I thought they were all gone, I came out of the study relieved. One of her friends was actually still there, tying his shoe, and he and I had the most awkward silent stare off in human history. | Took the most disgusting shit of my life right next to my sister's friends. They decided to brave the cold outside instead of smelling the cesspool that was my shit. TIFU. |
t3_k8dhg | AskReddit | I shit hot fire water out of my butt. What is happening to me? | Starting last week, I get a completely uncontrollable need to poop. It Burns like hell and makes it extremely frustrating at work.
Last year and the year before I had the same exact issue for about 30 days, went to the doctor, shit into a tray for samples (awkward). They could not find a cause. I can change colors depending on what I eat or drink. I have been able to change between teenage mutant ninja turtle green, to sandy yellow in a matter of 20 minutes. No blood, but my cinnamon ring feels as if its big-red chewing gum. Any ideas what could be causing this, and what I should do about it? | constant crap fest 3 weeks out of the year, no idea on cause |
t3_1bkw5j | relationships | My (26F) husband (27M) has a substance abuse problem, and I don't know what to do. | We have been together for 11 years, and he has smoked marijuana throughout our relationship. He first started when he was 11 years old and has done other drugs since then too (alcohol, ketamine, cocaine, mushrooms, acid). I think I am partially to blame for things getting so bad. After all the anger, sadness, loneliness, and resentment, I became numb to how big the problem was. It was my own form of denial - and maybe fear, too, because I don't know how to move forward.
We have 2 small kids, and he is a great father. But smoking comes first and often leads to other drugs. So, he is also tired, distracted, and irritable. He holes himself up and uses, forgoing sleep, family, and household obligations. He has not been a good partner, and I feel unsupported and isolated most of the time. I don't trust him anymore, and I have a hard time seeing how I can ever be happy in this marriage.
But, I do love him, and I want him to get better. I want our marriage to work. Is that naive? Or loyal? I'm torn most of the time. I don't want our kids to grow up around this, but I don't want to prematurely break this family up either. He has tried to quit before, but it has never lasted. | Husband is an addict. What do I do? |
t3_2x2xxh | relationships | Me [27M] with my wife [26F] of 6years. Have different outlooks on drug use. | We have been together for a total of 8 years. I have never been in to smoking weed, she has been. I was under the assumption that she had quit. It was a discussion prior to us getting married. It was not a model behavior I wanted for our children. (We have 2)
Found out recently that she has started smoking again. She always does it when she knows I will be working or if she knows she will be home after I am asleep. I feel like her hiding it is essentially the same as her telling me a lie.
It's not something I want outboard kids exposed to. I feel betrayed because she has been hiding it for almost a year. She thinks I should just let her do what makes her happy. | I am anti drug use. My wife has been smoking weed behind my back. Am I making a big deal out of nothing. |
t3_1hmiwc | relationships | My[20M] girlfriend [17/F] of 6 weeks always assumes I'm up to no good. | So I met her via online dating site and after the first time meeting each other things progressed quickly and we spend large amounts of time together which is great , except from a very early point in the relationship she started reading all my texts and invading all my privacy which I told her multiple times I was not comfortable with but let it continue because I new there was nothing to see so hopefully she would accept that I am honest and give me my privacy like I ask. (I have never said or done anything to make her think I am untrustworthy)
Yet every time I am not with her she questions what I have been doing in a very interrogative way, and sometimes doesn't believe me. For example the other day I said I was at a trading card store and she found that suspicious under no grounds at all.
In the back of my mind I am thinking maybe she is so suspicious because she is hiding also she snapchats a lot with random men who I have seen send her sexual snaps and seen her history that she snapchats them back all the time but she claims she never sends anything sexual and she hates that they msg her. (WHY REPLY THEN??) I have told her that I dont like it that she messages them back because I have seen her open snaps of them just showing off their cocks and asking her to snap them back.
So today out of nowhere I get a text from her saying "Aww your buying me stuff thanks babe" and when I asked what the message meant she replied saying she just assumed I would buy her something today. Today is no special day so this doesn't make much sense other than it might of been intended for someone else. Thoughts? | Girlfriend always thinks I am being unfaithful with no reason to, and sent suspicious text msg today, also snapchats guys she has met when I have told her it makes me unconfortable |
t3_2z9o3a | relationships | Confused ? | I am a 34 year old, female and have been with the same man for 12 years, married for 7. He is 44 years old. We have had a rough go at it for a long time, but we do love each other very much. Just recently, he said he wanted to buy the house we are in or if that doesn't work a house in our town. I have told him I don't want to live here and do not want to buy a house here, but am open to going 30 miles down the road. He said he is going to buy a house here anyway. We both work at home, so we can live anywhere. I feel lost..and am at a cross roads. | ! confused on what to think about husband buying a house without me |
t3_2dz44r | relationships | I (26/f) can't stand my boyfriend's (26/m) breath! | Basically, the title. We've been together for 4 years. The past few months his breath just smells, even after he brushes his teeth. Sour. I can't stand it especially when we're in bed. It's gotten to the point where we just don't kiss that much. I have tried and tried talking to him about it to no avail. He just gets angry whenever I bring it up. I want to work through this. Not just avoid kissing or break up! He doesn't seem to care that it bothers me and tells me I'm rude. I'm really not trying to be rude. I want to figure this out. I buy the household items so I've tried getting him different brands of toothpaste and mouthwash. Nothing works. I think he needs to go to the dentist or something. Perhaps the doctor.
Do you have any advice on how to approach this so he actually listens? It bothers me that he doesn't even care to figure out what's causing it. He says "Oh you just have a sensitive nose! You just get sick over everything!" when that's really not true. It just smells.
FYI, he does not smoke, chew tobacco, or drink. Never has. | I don't like my boyfriend's breath. Can't stand it. He won't discuss. He doesn't seem to care. |
t3_3p5ca3 | tifu | TIFU by preaching a loophole in the Gospel to an entire lecture hall [NSFW] | This one's kind of embarrassing.... Happened last week, but I had to wait till the weekend. My friend is still pissed about it.
So last weekend my friend and I were showing each other funny YouTube videos and such. The last song I showed her was The Loophole, by Garfunkel and Oates. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it, but wear headphones. It's pretty inappropriate. [Here] is the link if you want to see it. WEAR HEADPHONES.
For those who don't want to watch it, or don't have headphones, the premise of the song is basically this: making fun of Christian girls who have anal sex before marriage to remain "pure" because the Bible doesn't specifically forbid it. Pure through anal. Yea. The song is as ridiculous as you can imagine, especially as it maintains the "we're doing the right thing vibe" throughout the whole thing, albeit sarcastically.
Anyway, the song was funny enough that we watched it twice, but stopped partway through the second time. This is important.
Particularly as on Monday morning, in Diff Eq, that same friend whispered that she needed to borrow my phone for a sec. I passed it over, she unlocked it, and the song started blaring at *FULL VOLUME.* Unfortunately enough, the lyrics to come out were "Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus! The good Lord would want it this way. Give me the sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization..."
I wanted to DIE, and I probably would have if it had been me holding the phone. As it was, I almost shriveled up and disappeared, and extreme social anxiety did not help. I'm amazed I didn't have a panic attack. Luckily we were sitting near the back, and quickly left. Lost half a lecture and all respect... I can never look that teacher in the eye again. | Left phone volume on, nearly died of embarrassment as a result. |
t3_17njup | running | Diagnosed with labral tear of the left hip. Looking for what to expect from those who've been there. | So, a question for all you RedditRunners- I overdid it back last year about 10/1. I ran about 3 halfs in 3 weeks, and (long story) hopped on a stationary bike to help a charity and tried to tear it up. Hadn't been on a bike in about 10 years. Anyway- fast forward, have groin pain at the attachment of the left thigh. Go have it diagnosed (X-ray, MRI) and am told that I have a stress reaction and a labral tear.
Bring on the rest and PT. Once I was cleared by doc ("no longer feeling sharp pain? Google a rehab program." Really?) Long story short - I've made it back to about 4 mile runs at a 9:30 pace (used to be about 8:30-9:00). But here's my question- in your experience, those with my malady... the tear never really heals, does it? No blood supply to cartilage (or minimal) so all I can do is stretch, do PT, strengthen the area, and hope for the best. Only thing that will EVER get me totally back to rights is surgery on the tear, yes?
Just looking for similar experiences and a little more in-depth insight into what to expect. | diagnosed with labral tear. Looking for what to expect from those who've been there. |
t3_4pdu2t | relationships | [23f] Is a feeling that something isn't right always right? Or can insecurity and jealousy really be that potent? | I've always felt secure in my relationship. Until I found that he reached out to a girl he once had a thing for. It was innocent, he would be speaking at a day event she would be at. He swore she was just a friend. And said he only saw her afterwards for a brief moment to say hello while everyone else had drinks. It shattered my confidence in him. I feel guilty for even questioning him because he's never done anything to make me question his honesty. We are engaged. I just don't know how to get rid of this tarnished idea of trust. My logic tells me I can't be this paranoid for absolutely nothing. But at the same time I know I'm not the most secure woman on earth. So maybe it is just me.
Please go easy on the berating! | Fiancé reached out to old crush. Made me question my trust for the first time ever with him. Is it just my immature insecurities? |
t3_2mpgek | offmychest | I quit drinking about eight months ago, and life still seems difficult and pointless. | I've always had some depression and anxiety issues. I figured quitting drinking would only help, right? I had been drinking an awful lot for a few years. So, I stopped (I began going to a weekly non-AA support group, which has been somewhat helpful).
I lost over 40 pounds, and have been doing better with money. I have no more crippling hangovers, of course, and I don't do and say stupid things like I used to when drunk. But, I also don't have very much fun these days. And I don't have much to look forward to. At least I used to have the little bit of relief that a few (or a bunch) of drinks would give me at the end of the day, as well as the ability to be more social when drinking. But now - I'm anxious all day and usually stay that way until I'm asleep.
I don't see much point in anything. I've even got a nice girl who seems sort of interested in me, and I can't even get excited about that. I'm skilled artistically and musically, but I just sort of feel flat about making anything for the most part. I get occasional bursts of creativity, but then later whatever I was working on seems stupid or pointless.
I'm probably just describing run-of-the-mill depression. I am seeing a therapist and am trying meditation after work. Maybe I'll wind up back on an SSRI (I've tried a few over the years and noticed no effects, though).
I often see people on /r/stopdrinking talking about how their life has turned around after they quit booze. A lot of them are in AA, which would not work for me. | I stopped drinking and am still pissed off, anxious, and depressed. |
t3_1e1d7y | legaladvice | Conflict of Interest question | throwaway here, sorry. hope someone is kind enough to reply, as will likely consult with a lawyer anyways.
this is a question regarding employment to business owner type of thing.
To my knowledge, company policy is set forth by a company and unless they specifically have one, then there is no grounds for that issue.
So my question is this.
Say I am working for ClothingStore5.. non government entity, private company. I am currently employed as an at-will there and have not signed any type of employment agreement regarding trade secrets/conflict of interest..
I want to start up my own business after working with ClothingStore5 for 100 years, I know the Vendor1 from ClothingStore5 and want to work with them, quitting employment with ClothingStore5.
ClothingStore5 and Vendor1 do NOT have any conflict of interest/trade secret agreements signed as well.
Am I within my legal right to pursue a vendor contract or is this illegal to pursue?
Say another Vendor2 terminates supply agreement with ClothingStore5,
if there is a rule that implies that I am barred from doing business with Vendors of ClothingStore5, am I allowed to pursue Vendor2 since they are no longer a vendor?
or another way to say it.. I worked at McDonalds, I know where they get their beef, I want to start a hamburger stand, can I legally contact their supplier of beef to start up my own business? | does conflict of interest policy apply only if there there is one signed or is there a legal rule outside of company policies ie. state/city law that cover it. |
t3_1j2u7a | relationships | Me[21F] with my bf [22M] dating for 1.5 year but only recently long distance | My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 19 months and due to his job upon graduating college he had to move about 4 hours away. He only moved about 2 weeks ago and I went down to visit him last weekend and he is going to come up this weekend. However, this being the area he attended college/grew up he has lots of friends around. So him coming up really just means we'll spend alone time together for maybe an afternoon. I've never done long distance before but Im not having an easy time with this. 1) I dont like that when I go to him im going only for him but him coming up is for me along with a bunch of his friends 2)I dont know if we're giving the relationship enough time and it scares me to lose it. 3)Any real advice for long distance i guess would be nice since ive never done it. | first long distance relationship and semi freaked out. |
t3_19cldp | relationships | I[m20] need a bit of help dealing with bf[m26]'s moving away and our inevitable breakup. | My boyfriend of a year and some change is moving somewhere(for grad school, he's not sure exactly where he got into yet) far away in about 4 months. I'm going back and forth on how I feel about it, which is normal. I am just looking for some help from someone who has been in a similar situation. We've talked about it a few times and, though it's hard, it's went pretty well. A LDR is not really in the cards; I don't think either of us think it's a good idea.
The problem is, obviously, that I don't want this to happen. I am very much in love with him and the love seems to be growing, not diminishing, as our "deadline" approaches. I can feel myself getting needier and wanting to be around him more the further we get. I've had a few dark years prior to my getting together with him in which I was Very depressed and alone despite having a solid group of friends and the like. This is my first real relationship and I'm just at a loss for what to do. Looking for any advice. | boyfriend of a bout a year is moving away and our relationship is going to end. looking for advice on How To Deal. |
t3_3lekdt | relationships | Me [21 M] with my SO [26 M] lying about plans to hangout online | So I've been in this pretty serious relationship for the past few years, we meet quite a few times in person when the opportunity happens to come up. Other than that we often spend most of our time bonding over skype playing games, or just shooting the shit for hours on end.
We have the best conversations! Everything from social issues, politics at large, even movies we've seen or watched together from time to time. It's really hard for me to convey the way he makes me feel, its amazing. He makes me laugh all the time, from his obsession with hot chocolate, to watching him grow in his attempts to get fit- which is....you know- kinda sexy.
Lately, these past few weeks, he's been misleading me, or forgetting, that he told me when he would get online and hang out. When I confront him about his lies, he says he gets distracted, or he's tired or whatever. But every time it seems like its just an excuse to ignore me. I really think he could be the one, but when stuff like this happens it just leaves me with such overwhelming anxiety, and all I can do is worry and think about what he could be doing. I mean, I set aside my time to wait on him, and he never shows up. It just feels unfair, I don't know whats wrong with me?
Is there something i could do?
Something I should say?
Or am I just being over dramatic? | Boyfriend promises to hang out with me, but has been showing up less and less |
t3_2sy949 | relationships | My sisters act like men, yet whine that they are single because of racism, any way I[27m] help them? [28f] [26f] | I come from a black family my parents were initially married however after my dad left early. Since then my mom toughened up to be a single parent. In a lot of ways my mom became both my mom and dad. She taught us all to be tough, not rely on anyone. And it specifically impacted my sisters because they grew up to be distrustful of men.
When I got to college I started dating White girls, however I knew my sister and mother would never be okay with it so I never told them. Four years ago, my girlfriend (white) and I made our relationship public and since then I have received a lot of hatred from my mother and sister. To them, it's not that I am dating a White girl, but the fact that I am 'turning my back on Black women.' My mom later got okay with the idea, but she says she thought she raised me better but it's my decision whom I choose to love.
My sisters on the other hand, just used this as proof that black men suck. The thing is my sisters act completely masculine, they never like to wear heels, they wear Jordans when they are going out. They never wear dresses or skirts. They try to be tougher than all the guys they are friends with. There are fewer educated black men than there are educated black women, and my sisters don't bother trying to compete in the dating market.
Instead they put all the fault with black men. My sisters are beautiful, and I honestly don't think it's looks that are holding them back. How do I get them to realize that always acting so masculine is repulsive to a lot of men. I don't want them to turn into crazy cat ladies. | – sisters act really masculine and then say it's black men's fault that they are single. |
t3_1b6k45 | pettyrevenge | Oh you want to jump the queue do you? | So I'm a university student and I was in the library to print off some sources for the essay I'm working on. There was a lineup at the printers which is really not all that surprising considering the time of year.
So I've made my way to the top of this queue and this girl who we shall call the ignorant cow just waltzes right up and cuts in front of me and all I could say was "What the Fuck?!" and replies with "Oh well I have to print something…" to which I replied with "Well no shit sherlock, we all have to print something here." she eventually states that it would be a small document and being canadian I just let her.
After she had started to print the thing she just left (I assume to go fall off a cliff or to steal the souls of orphans).
Big mistake cow… Big mistake.
This document turned out to be 90 pages long and well you see she was taking so long to come back that I decided I would enact my revenge…
I rearranged every single page in her document. Every single page was a different form of upside down and out of order.
She eventually came back while i was stapling my stuff and freaked the hell out. Maybe you shouldn't cut in line and maybe you should watch your stuff. | Cow cuts to the front of the queue at the school printers and stupidly leaves it unattended. Hope she likes putting 90 pages of work back in order with no page numbers... |
t3_12d4cy | AskReddit | What funny/weird habits do your pets have that are (somewhat) embarrassing? | If there's one thing Reddit loves, it's funny animals. All of our pets have strange quirks or weird habits that might be considered weird if friends/family knew about it. So, I'll start:
Our kitten, George Michael, is about 5 months old and still has mommy abandonment issue (he was a rescue). As a result, he likes to suckle; this happens less often now that he's older, but it's always when he's sleepy and happy, and he usually goes for my neck. He's never suckled anything other than my neck, my boyfriend's neck, or his favorite bed (all while kneading and purring) until this morning, when he found my boyfriend's nipple and suckled him. George sucked my boyfriend's nipple. I woke up to this and laughed so hard I cried, but other people will find it weird. | my boyfriend accidentally nursed my cat. What other weird shit do your pets do? |
t3_120duk | relationships | I am in a non-defined relationship, and things are too damn complicated! Help! | Dear Reddit,
I have been seeing someone for about 5 months. We started off just intending to have casual sex, but it ended up being a lot more complicated. We would fight and then work it out and there were times when it really felt like a relationship. Fast forward to now; we recently had a talk about the fact that I have feelings for him, and he said that he feels similarly. Unfortunately our schedules are very full and we only see each other about once a week or so, and he said that he doesn't want to start a relationship like that. Which is fair.
Basically what I got out of the conversation was that we would try to see each other more often and see what happened if/when the situation changed. So I've been trying to make time in my schedule to see him more, but every day/evening that I have offered for the next week has been rejected for other social commitments.
It's hard to articulate exactly what the problem is, except that it always sucks a little to be told that he has other people to hang out with. I don't have a problem with him having other friends, but I feel like I need to schedule his time weeks in advance and it's exhausting always being the one offering up times that we can see each other.
Any advice? I'm losing my mind a little bit... | Am in an undefined relationship, we have addressed our feelings for each other but he doesn't seem to want to make time to be with me. |
t3_4srlhw | offmychest | I fear missing out on things I truly enjoy because I'm scared that they'll make me less desirable to the opposite sex. | There are many things I enjoy (or I am rediscovering, due to years of battling depression). An issue I have is that I am not comfortable around women - I've never really "gotten" them like I do my male friends, or things that I find interesting. I lust for them sporadically, but it's usually more a carnal urge than an interest in their person. This is because I don't know how to act in a way that doesn't completely bore them or shut them down, as if I dumped a bucket of ice-cold water on their head and hadn't just made a social gaffe instead.
The thing is, I can't shake the feeling/idea that a successful adult male should be competent with women if he is to be entire. And it bleeds into the rest of my life to the point that I worry about doing anything in relation to how it will come off to girls. What music I listen to, what books I read, who I hang out with, what hobbies I have, what my interests are, what my major/career is (this is big)... you know the drill. I've been working on breaking away from this mentality, and I more frequently have moments now when my mind actually accepts this and I can feel my body relax and my freedom of expression expand greatly. I understand this fear restricts me, but it gnaws at me and burrows in, insisting that I *could* live my life but women would be repulsed by me and many men, by extension of the social hive mind, would follow that sentiment.
Yeah. I feel like a nutcase writing this, but that feeling of freedom is so nice. The possibility that I can expand its presence to the point where I feel that way more often than not, that I could be like "normal people" - FUCK, that shit is what I chase when I wake up to a new day! | My distorted psyche says, girls are beings with subconscious mind control abilities. I hypothesize otherwise. |
t3_2eyywa | relationships | Relationship over? | I'm 19F my SO is 20M. We have a 7 month old son together. We've been together for almost 3 years now. He has very bad anger and communication issues. We fight probably more than what is normal. Sometimes it's just stupid little arguments and sometimes it's very very bad.
Recently we've both became unemployed and since then there is no love anymore. We don't kiss, we don't say I love you or have sex. I'm scared this is a sign our relationship is coming to an end. And there's no talking to him about anything because if I bring anything up about it 'I'm being dramatic' or he thinks I'm attacking him. I just want to be in love again. Please help me reddit. | Relationship is falling apart. No affection. Always fighting. Boyfriend does not communicate well. What do?? |
t3_16qdcb | tifu | TIFU by asking my boss a question. | Well really it's my boss' boss, who for the purposes of this post we'll call Bob. He, along with one of my colleagues and I, were out to lunch. Bob and I both used to take our dogs to the same dog trainer every week a couple of years ago, and he and his wife (who we'll call Mindy) would always bring their two dogs. They were really nice to talk to at class. Bob's wife works in our field, so sometimes I would bump into her and exchange pleasantries.
So we're eating lunch and I look up at Bob and say, "Hey, how's Mindy? I haven't seen her in a while." I immediately feel a sense of regret I don't yet understand. Bob puts down his sandwich and says, "She moved to California, Bluedit5." (We live in the midwest) And then Bob went back to eating his burger. I look down and see Bob has a tan line where his wedding ring used to be. My co-worker, who knew about the divorce, just sat there and shook his head. We were also away from the office on business and it was a 45 minute car ride back to work. | Don't ever ask your boss' boss how his wife is doing if they just got divorced. |
t3_2ih057 | relationships | I [21m], moved to my [20f]GF's state after a 2 year long term relationship. After 2 months I am half as attracted to her as I once was. | We have been dating for 3.5 years starting in high school, she moved three hours away and we kept that up with minimal issues and after I finished my 2 year degree we decided that I should move to her state. I now live with two of her guy-friends in a different apartment complex.
It has now been two months in my new town and everything has been great besides that I now am becoming less sexually attracted my gf every week and find myself frequently daydreaming of the rush of something like a one night stand (I have never had sex with anyone but her). But the thing is, I love everything about her; personality, drive, family and friends. But now I am almost avoiding situations where I know she will want to have sex because I am just not that into it anymore.
And now I'm freaking out since I don't know what to do and I have no-one who I am close enough with or isn't connected directly to my girlfriend that I could trust with this problem. And I'd be stuck in this state if we broke up.
So should I end it or stick it out?
Please help me. | After moving to my long distance girlfriends state, I still love her but am not sexually attracted to her. |
t3_2vaqee | relationships | Made a Reddit to seek advice here. I [21F] am already in a relationship but small crush has been growing due to his [22M] flirting. | This doesn't seem to be due to any unresolved relationship problems. I love my boyfriend to bits and I am very happy in my relationship with him.
However, there's this guy I met at a party last year who's really cute, really smart and in the same classes as me, apparently! At that event he seemed interested from the get-go, and would gravitate to me from the other end of the room just to ask me about my interests. He had (has???) a girlfriend when we met so I thought, ok no big deal, he's just friendly. Since then he's been trying to text/message me almost every day, and he's been liking all my photos, except those with boyfriend of course.
We have a lot in common (even in terms of our course at uni) so it's very hard to resist talking to him. He's recently been inviting me to go drinking and hang out with him, and it's taken all of my willpower to say no. He's witty, he's cute, he's into the same things as me. We even take a few classes together so distancing myself is really hard. It's been increasingly hard to say no to his consistent offers to hang. Help.
How do I deal with this..... distraction? | Already committed, but attractive male specimen is making it very hard for me to distance myself. How to deal with growing crush I literally cannot avoid (same uni, same classes)??? |
t3_3buebj | relationships | Am I[22F] a fool for ending a relationship with [27M] | I broke up with him today. We'd dated for 3.5 years and lived together for over 3 of them. We had 2 cats together.
There have been at least 5 or 6 distinct times I had wanted to leave the relationship during this time but stayed for one reason or another. I had told him I was leaving 3 weeks ago and he had promised to work on the things that were bothering me.
-I never felt like I could open up to him without some sort of consequence. Whether he would argue and be defensive if it was something about him, or would just make me feel stupid about my feelings. Communication all around was tough.
-Sex was not pleasurable for me. I felt like it was always about him or that he didn't care enough about my needs.
-I was lonely. I depended too much on him and didn't have many friends. When I did hang out with friends without him I would feel bad for it and he would seem disappointed.
I found myself happier to be at work or with friends than I was with him. Our problems were/are probably fixable but is it worth it after 3.5 years? I'm hoping someone can give me some outside perspective. | I broke up with boyfriend because I've been unhappy for a long time. Is it worth fixing? |
t3_1bhrqd | relationship_advice | I (f18) might be pregnant with ex boyfriend's (m23) child. | We broke up about 3 weeks ago, and my period is about 5 days late, which is very unusual, and very concerning. We broke up on rocky terms, and Im not sure how I would go about telling him, or my new bf (m19). My ex is very difficult to talk to, he isnt very aware of how his actions effect other people. He was the one who broke up with me, he was too busy with school, and thought I was being "clingy" because I missed seeing him, so Im pretty concerned that if I tell him he is going to deny that Im telling the truth, accuse me of trying to trap him or say it isnt his. I cant have a child right now, so I would need to get an abortion. He is a student and paying his rent and tuition, so doesnt have a lot of cash, so I feel he might just flat out deny the pregnancy or say he wont help pay for the costs of an abortion. But Im not paying for it on my own because it is the result of both of our actions, so Im not sure how to go about politely addressing this in the most effective manor. There is also the fact I am seeing someone new right now, things are going well, we talk about everything, so I feel like I could trust this guy. I havent taken a pregnancy test yet, and wont be able to til tomorrow night but it would be nice to have some idea of what to do so if its positive so it would be less of a shock. Any advice would be highly appreciated, thank you! | Might be pregnant with my ex's boyfriend who isnt a very understanding person. I am also seeing someone new. Im wondering what the best way to approach this situation is if its positive. |
t3_n6y6u | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the funniest thing you have ever witnessed? | I'll start. Mine was when me and a whole bunch of friends were blazed, and were leaving our toke spot. It was on top of a pretty big hill, and all of us had bikes, except for two of us. So everyone with bikes is already down the hill and we turn around, a decent ways away, waiting for the other two guys. We see our friend TJ slowly veer off the path, because the hill was so steep it kind of forced you to run. He ended up falling and rolling down this entire hill right in front of us. Think the mountain scene in hot rod. | our friend fell down a giant hill right infront of us, we where all a (10) |
t3_353g3f | relationships | I'm [19 M] not sure if I should stay friends or completely shut her out of my life [19 f] First time | This is the first girl I liked & cared about, so all of this is completely new to me.
At the start of this year I started talking to a girl online, we had the same interests. We hit it off right away, talked on skype for hoouurs everyday for about 3 months until I flew over to meet her.
We had a great time, had sex, everything was fine, I went home, she tells me she wants to meet again soon.
Now a month later, She tells me she doesn't want a romantic relationship at the moment (Kind of confused since she's said I'm like the dream guy and being flirty all the time) but she doesn't want me to disapear from her life. She said ,please dont leave me.
She wants to stay as friends, keep talking, keep seeing each other in the future. (We dont live in the same country)
Obviously I want the same but I can't turn off my feeligns for her, and it sucks, it sucks that she doesnt want the same thing as I do but still wants to stay close. Because we can talk to each other about anything but now It's all weird.
I'm wondering how to get over this, im heartbroken, is it a good idea to stay in touch or should I shut her out of my life, blocking all communication between us. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_376bjs | relationships | Me [19M] with my SO [18F] of 4 months. Her mother is against birth control for her, how do we convince her otherwise? | She has been open with her mother throughout our relationship about our sexual activity. We have been active for over 2 months. We use condoms every single time, no exceptions. We go through 12-20 a week. Expense is not usually an issue, there is a place open a couple times a week that I can get them for free. On to my point.
Thrice condoms have broken during coitus. This has occurred once in every like 25-50 condoms we use. When this happens she takes emergency contraceptive Plan B. ($40 per pill). Her mother is against birth control because she knows it can fuck with her hormones and her future fertility. Her mother also scolds her for trusting Plan B as safe and that if pregnancy were to happen "It wouldn't be the end of the world".
We're aware she is 18, but she wants to respect her mother's wishes. | How do we convince gf's mom that birth control's benefits outweigh its risks? |
t3_2mzui8 | relationships | Me [32 M] with my no one, afraid of failing due to my attachment type | **Quick background on me**:
* MBTI is INTP
* Attachment Type is mostly anxious
* Successful career
* Average looking
**Quick background on my life**:
* Married young (before 20).
* Had kids (in 20s).
* Separated in 2013.
* Ex-wife is a stay-at-home-mom.
* Ex-wife sent me to jail (twice) for threats when she tried to take my kids away.
* Ex-wife got the house, gold mine, etc as a result.
* Ex-wife made it very difficult to see my kids, sell the house, etc.
* Ex-wife got pregnant almost immediately with new guy.
* Ex-wife continues to belittle and threaten me weekly.
Now that most of the drama is over, I am feeling a little lonely and isolated and I am now interested in finding a relationship.
Being 32 with very little experience I have been seriously struggling with the ins and outs of dating.
I dated a woman with an anxious attachment type for a while but it was mostly a nightmare. She was overtly clingy and needy.
I am now dating a woman with a dismissive attachment type and the lack of reciprocity is difficult to say the least.
Anyway, where do I go from here? Are there any suggestions out there? | Life is a struggle for me and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1ek1id | relationships | We're moving in together. What do i need to know? | Me: 20 f
Boyfriend: 27m
Roommate: 24m
Length of time together: 10 months
I am in college, part time minimum wage job. My boyfriend works full time. I was on my own at 18, and paid 270 a month for my apartment. Well my lease is up next month and my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to live with him, and he would just ask me to pay for some bills and whatever I feel like paying. I am pretty much living at his place now. We get along really well, he let's me do my thing and I let him do his. His roommate is nice, plays a lot of video games. Him and I get along really well.
Does a relationship change when you "move in together?" What should I expect? | moving in with boyfriend and his roommate in a month |
t3_2e9985 | relationships | I (23M) have no real experience getting dates. I'm not really sure what to do when it comes to dating. And then theres the trust issues... | Hey there all.
So as I said I'm a 23 year old guy, I'd probably fit into the nerd category of cliques, but more on the lite side. I take interest in anime, movies, games, puzzles kids stuff yada yada. But I'd never like wear my interests on my sleeves you'd find out more about me as you get to know me, but the way I look you'd probably guess I'm a nerd (just have that face with my glasses and hair I guess) I dont think I look terrible honestly, but I'm no Robert Downey Jr.
I've had two real girl friends in my life both of whom cheated on me and left me pretty untrusting to get to know anyone, so I can walk into a room and think it's full of people looking to take advantage of me. I'm the kind of friend where I'd do pretty much anything for you and not ask for anything, just the assumption of you'd do the same for me and if you don't I just kinda sulk and still help you out hoping you figure out one day how much I help you. sometimes yes, sometimes no. Because of my passed relationships with people I've stopped making friends all together unless I'm in close proximity to someone for long periods of time like work, and even then were not friends once I walk out of work doors.
I dont have a problem talking to people, not at all, I just don't understand at what point do you go from strangers to aquintenses to friends to romantic. Honestly I found all the girls I know on dating websites and my small pool of friends from high school and as life goes on you gradually lose connections from them save for the select few maybe. So not only do I need dating advice in how to approach a girl and find a friend, I just need how to reach out to people
Thank you for the time in reading. I hope you all can give me some advice.
Have a great day! | I'm a nerd. Im shy. Im scared of people. I want to talk to people make friends and make friends with a girl. Help me please. Have a great day. |
t3_2ozey1 | Cooking | Need some help with dessert ideas | Every year at work we do a cookie exchange where each person brings around 3 dozen desserts. Then everyone goes around and grabs two of everyone's to take home. I don't like to follow the rules so I never make cookies. This year I bought a cupcake carrier that has made my life so easy for transporting desserts to work. I want to make a dessert in a cupcake liner that isn't a cupcake, but I need some ideas. Do you have any ideas for desserts to make in cupcake liners (that don't need to be refrigerated)? Thanks in advance! | Need dessert ideas for cupcake liners that aren't cupcakes. |
t3_2joicz | relationships | I (20m) Dont want my (20f) gf to drink as much | So today we got into a fight because she went out to drink and drank too much to drive so I had to go get her.
I got mad because I think if she went out she shouldn't have drank so much. She said she planned on sleeping there or waiting a long time to sober up if I didn't go get her but she wanted to see me and now she's mad at me for making a big deal out of it.
It's a close friends family's house and she slept there before but I still don't want her to go out and drink like that and sleep at other peoples places.
She keeps pointing out that at least she called me to pick her up but I still don't want her doing that.
Am I wrong? | gf thinks it's okay to go out and drink and sleep at other places. I don't want her to. |
t3_2j2rwm | relationships | How do you tell someone you want to take it slow? | Me- 19, F. Him- 18, M.
He told me he didn't want to ask me out over text so he's going to ask me tomorrow morning. On Friday, he tried to kiss me- really tried. 3 of my friends and 2 of his say that he really wants to become serious- which I'm fine with. I want to be serious. But I don't want to kiss him. I've kissed people before, fine and dandy, but for some reason with him I'm suddenly anxious. I've dealt and I'm currently dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety- and he's incredibly caring and understanding. But something I can't even confess to him is that I don't want to kiss him. I can't exactly tell him to take it slow either, because according to his best friend he's gonna walk up to me as soon as he sees me and plant one. That's his plan so far. How do I tell him I want to take it slow, or that I don't want to kiss him yet, while still saying yes to him and not making it awkward? I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing but I'm really struggling here. | Guy wants to be serious with me. I want to be serious with him. But I want to take it slow and not kiss him yet, and I don't have the guts to tell him. I know I should be comfortable and trusting of him, and I am, but my overly anxious self says otherwise. What do I do? |
t3_1i5kyj | relationships | I'm[29/M] not sure how to respond to this test from my SO[27/F] and could use your input. How to react when SO keeps inviting my to look at another female's chest. | My significant other and I have been friends with another guy ever since college. In the last year, he has picked up a nice girlfriend who we all like. She happens to have a very large bust and has no problem wearing clothing to show it off. Her and my SO have no problem basically joking about it in party environments, and my SO will jokingly do things like lay her head on this girls bust, etc.
What I'm not sure how to react to is both of them jokingly inviting me to look at her chest. This isn't something that is constantly happening, but seems to happen at least once for every party we're at. It usually goes along the lines of my SO laying her face there or motioning her hand under her bust and saying "Hey...HEY come on take a look! Come on! You know you want to!" Often the friend joins in as well. This is purely just a friendly teasing thing, nothing really sexual about it, but I'm not sure of the proper way to act.
As of right now I just do the whole "Nope, nope not looking, just staring at my SOs face and not the boobs" thing, to which they are always saying jokingly "Wow, look at that will power." The issue is, once it starts, this may continue for 10 minutes where they keep teasing about it. It just starts to get irritating after a while. I don't want to be a downer and tell them to knock it off, but at the same time it almost feels like I'm NOT being masculine if I refuse to look. So, I'm curious of input on this. | So keeps jokingly asking me to look at female friend's chest, I have no idea what the proper reaction is. |
t3_qz5mj | AskReddit | Why is my microphone messing up? | To ANYONE who understands microphones, specifically Audio Technica:
I've had the at2020 since around December and it's worked perfectly fine for recordings straight into garageband. I was in the middle of making a recording last week when it started picking up way too much sound (everything around me). I didn't drop it or hit it against anything so I was confused. I replugged it and began recording and it was just picking up so much static sound and the quality was terrible. I've tried placing it far away and it picks up voice and the A.C. as though I'm right in front of it. What is going on? | My mic (at2020) has randomly started picking up so much sound rather than only my voice. I've tried covering, blocking, placing my mic away from speakers, across the room, and it hasn't helped. Does anyone know what's wrong or what I should do? |
t3_30k2c5 | legaladvice | My boss has stopped paying me and my coworkers overtime. | Hi,
So as the title says my boss has stopped paying us OT. I worked 4 hours of OT on my last paycheck (in one week, the second week I worked 38 hours) which I received today.
I didn't even check the overtime hours because I have always been paid time and a half for OT before, and it was only 4 hours.
My new coworker walks up to me today and asks when we get paid OT I said it goes on the regular check. She says she hasn't received it since she started.
Coworker proceeds to ask the bosses/owners and they say that they have a sign posted above the time card that says they do not want anyone to work over 40 hours without having been asked. They say since this sign is (and always has been) up they do not have to pay OT unless they asked the person to work it.
I believe this is illegal and I had already worked extra hours this week (more than the 4 from last paycheck, more like 6 extra hours this week). They didn't specifically ask me, but they never enforced this "rule" before, and no one has mentioned anything about it to me before. Since my other coworker was sick I was staying late and skipping lunches to keep up with the work (my bosses knew this).
My coworker was actually "scheduled" (quotes because schedule is verbally given and bosses don't put any really power into thinking about it) to work more than 40 hours the last pay period. So even by their own (possibly illegal logic) don't they have to pay her for it? Because scheduling someone for more than full-time is the same than asking them to go over 40 hours.
What should me and my coworkers do?
I have already put in my notice I have about 2 more weeks left, but I could use this extra money that I worked long hours for as I am about to move. Can I fight this? For myself and my fellow coworkers who do not have plans to leave?
Please help! | Boss doesn't want to pay overtime (time and a half) anymore. He claims a sign that says "do not work over 40 hours unless asked" means he doesn't have to pay overtime anymore. Even though he previously has paid us overtime. |
t3_2os7f6 | relationships | I (M22) have been talking to (21F) for 5 months got really drunk had a bad day lol now she needs her space what does that mean | So last saturday i went to a huge day drink at my buddies house. The girl im talking to went somewhere else with her friends. I wanted to see her. So i texted her and she was being mean texting like one word answers etc so i called her like 5 times, she never answered. Then i messaged one of her roomates cousin who i knew to see what bar they were going to that night. He never answered.
So the next day she went back to college and i havent seen her since that was last sunday. So i texted her monday and tuesday last week she said she was busy and couldnt talk. So i called her tuesday night. We talked about what happened i apologized and told her she didnt deserve that etc and that i acted like an idiot. She agreed haha!
The thing that got me mad was that she wouldnt just say not to come like i wish she would have. She handleded the situation poorly because why couldnt she just tell me that instead of being a mean texter you know. Then i wouldnt have been out of line like i was.
So i finally talked to her sunday and she said that when i meesaged the cousin it put her over the edge and she needs her space so what should i do now. I bought her a christmas presents already and im hoping things will be better by then. | got really drunk last saturday the girl im talking too told me she needs space. What does she mean by that? |
t3_1x8egu | relationship_advice | [19 F] confused and irritated with [21 M] | So going on a month ago, I met this guy at a frat party. We exchanged numbers, etc. The next day he called me and asked if I wanted to hang out and I said yes because he seemed nice. He came and picked me up, we got food and a movie (he paid). During the date he did really cute things like hold my hand and open his car door for me. So while we're in his bed watching this movie, he's kissing and rubbing all over me and me being a virgin with little to no experience with anyone, I was enjoying myself. So eventually clothes came off and we attempted to have sex. But for multiple reasons, it didn't happen. So he hits me up a couple days later and asks me to come over. Again we "watch" a movie and we ended up actually having sex this time. It was anticlimactic. But it was nice cuddling and being intimate with someone so I liked it. About a week passes and he comes to visit me in my dorm and he acted kind of weird, like he was really paying attention to what I was saying and was generally zoned out. Then later that same week I basically asked him if he wanted to hook up and he said he couldn't. Fast forward to this past Sunday, we hooked up again and it wasn't bad until he came after like 2 minutes and basically rushed me out of his apartment. So now I am kind of irritated with him and the whole situation. He went from being this sweet guy who I could maybe see myself with to a random hook up. We don't really have legitimate conversations. And being so inexperienced I don't know how to talk to him about what I want. Or if I even should. Is what we have nothing? Is the problem that I gave it up too early? Should I stop hooking up with him? I feel stupid. | I hooked up with a guy and now I don't know where we stand. |
t3_11mzlb | BreakUps | In love with a girl since I was 13...I'm 19 now...help | So there is this girl I know and we have been great friends for 6 years and we have had great times and bad together. about 18 months ago she slept with my best friend and it killed me because she was leading me on at the time. So I told her i couldn't be her friend anymore because I loved her too much. She is well aware I have feelings for her. But almost exactly one year to the date she fucked my friend...she came over ...we watched movie and she stayed the night and we had sex. We hung out a bunch and kissed a lot but never had sex again. But she talked to me every day and loves hanging out with me. So I told her after about 3 months of us being make out buddies that I wanted to date her and she said no because she doesnt want a bf now ...but for he its hard to be her friend if I se her with other guys and stuff. I just want to be exclusive with each other. We still talk everyday and she always texts me all the time. When she is happy or upset I am the guy she runs to. NOW I WANT TO DATE HER but she doesn't want it for some reason..even though she loves hanging out and always has fun with me. I told her to never kiss me or do any of that again unless we are dating. So what do I do to either get her or to forget her. I try to get over her but I just cant. She is so fun and awesome. I dont know how anyone else would be better than her. and it makes me sick to think of her with someone else when she loves being with me so much. HELP reddit | we had sex before and she just wants to be friends |
t3_4h22b8 | relationships | I'm [18F] potentially in love with my best friend [19M] except something's standing in the way | Hi,
For starters, this is a throwaway account just so people who know my real reddit can't see my post.
My guy best friend, Ethan, means the absolute world to me. We've been friends since 7th grade, but we got really close towards the end of my junior year in high school. He's smart, funny, witty, etc. and we get along great.
I've known for a while that he loves me every way possible. He would do anything for me. Personality wise, I feel the same. I could honestly marry him right now despite how young we are. There is just something about both of us that makes me think we could date, get married, have a couple kids and live happy, fulfilling lives.
The only issue is that I don't feel the same way sexually. He's not unattractive, but I just can't get myself to think of him in that way at all. We're both aware of our emotional bond and even tried going on a couple of dates to take our relationship to the next level. The dates are always amazing, but the kiss always falls flat at the end of the night and I can never bring myself to go any further. It's not that I'm not into sex or anything, I've been in physical relationships before.
He understands the situation and has been very sympathetic, so for now we're just friends. But every time I get into a different relationship with another guy, serious or not, I find myself thinking "I wish he was like Ethan" or "Our connection isn't as strong as mine and Ethan's" and I break it off.
Reddit, what is wrong with me? Ethan means so much to me, and I definitely love him, but we can't ever be together if we can only be together emotionally. I WANT to take the next step and be together as a couple, but I just CAN'T. Can I get over these non-physical feelings? | I love my best friend emotionally, but am not attracted to him physically. Although our relationship would be great, I can't get myself to take the next step. How do I get over these feelings? |
t3_2xfnpc | relationships | M(18) with a girlfriend (17) of 9 months. Having issues with her stress levels. | So my girlfriend of 9 months Is having issues with stress and it is effecting our relationship. There is a chance she may have to move 900 miles away to accommodate her fathers new job, or stay here and just live with her mother while her father goes 900 miles away for his new job.
On top of that she is stressed with school and a slew of other things.
It is effecting our relationship because she is starting to become more and more weighed down by the stress and it is screwing up what we have together.
I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with the stress changing her, and what can I do to help her get passed it? | Girlfriend has a lot of stress that is effecting our relationship negitivly, how do I deal with it? |
t3_12vukk | relationships | Falling in love while dating - does the timeframe vary? | I (F/20) feel very inexperienced in dating/love, as I have only dated 2 people thus far, and feel confused. The first person I ever dated (M/24), I fell deeply in love with pretty much on day 1 (even though we didn't admit our love for each other until a few months in). We were in a relationship for 3 years, and broke up due to his lack of effort.
Now I'm dating my 2nd (M/22). I know very well that he gives me all the sugar & spice that my last relationship lacked. He treats me incredibly well, and does all "the little things." My family even recognizes that he truly adores me. I think he could very well fall in love with me soon, if he hasn't already. We've been seeing each other for about 3 months now.
I'm confused as to why I don't feel what I felt in my last relationship (and do not see myself feeling that way anytime soon), especially because my new guy has treated me 10x better. I have talked to him about this because I blame it on maybe not being over my last guy and therefore not being open to love right now? He believes in us though, and thinks that he has come into my life to make it better and that one day I'll wake up and be just as crazy for him as he is for me. Can that happen, or is he just trying to force something that isn't there for me?
Some questions I'd like to discuss:
When you date someone new who you want to keep seeing, is potential deep love the reason why you want to keep seeing them? Or is it because they are fun to hang out with/are attractive/keep you company/you can have sex - and *maybe* you two will fall in love one day?
Is it possible to not be equally head over heels for this guy, but down the road I will be? | Do you think "true love" can take time, or because it's "true," you feel it instantly? |
t3_2anhjr | relationships | Hello,I'm[18 m] in a somewhat long distance relationship[18 f]. But my best friend who is also 18 and a female wants to date me. | Hello reddit. I'm 18 and been in only 2 other relationships. I knew a girl that I ended up liking, so I started talking to her more and more. She ended up moving a few states away a couple summers ago. We talk everyday and turns out she likes me a lot too(we didn't start talking a lot until she moved). But we don't want to be considered anything until she comes back... She does want to come back as soon as possible. But there are obstacles, like money etc.
The other thing is my one of my good friends, also a female, seems extremely interested in me. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and has brought up "if we should date" scenarios. But I don't like her like that.(I know, I'm a guy friend-zoning a girl)
My friend that seems to be interested in me does not know about the long distant thing I have going with another girl. As I've always been too embarrassed to tell. And the girl that I'm having the relationship with knows about my friends sudden interest in me, and she's a little on edge.. I'm just not exactly sure how to handle this... And no, I don't want to date my friend. | Best friend wants to date me. But I'm in a long distance relationship she doesn't know about. Don't know how to break it to her, or explain. |
t3_q2488 | AskReddit | Suddenly allergic to several stone fruits? | Basically a couple of months ago I ate some cherries and mouth and around my lips became incredibly itchy. This had never happened to me before, but after about 20 minutes it went away. Now everytime I eat cherries this happens, and all of a sudden it is happening with other fruits too. Nectarines and peaches and today plums (which had been fine up until now).
Apparently if you have hay-fever you can be allergic to fruits that come from the pollen you're allergic to, but I do not have hayfever. and I realise that these are all stone fruits, but I have plum trees in my garden, so I would be very aware if I were allergic to that pollen.
Has this happened to anyone else? Wondering if I should actually cough up the money and go to the doctor. | Suddenly allergic to several stone fruits, should I be worried/has this happened to you. |
t3_zbu2v | AskReddit | My neighbor's cat spends time at my house because it is deathly afraid of the two dogs who already killed another neighbor's cat. Is there anything I can do or say to make this cat's life easier? | I live on a residential neighborhood street corner property containing three houses and a shared backyard. I found out today that **Neighbor A's cat was recently killed by Neighbor B's two dogs**. Consequently, **Neighbor B adopted a kitten from a shelter** (2 weeks ago). It's the sweetest little thing in the world, and deathly afraid of the two dogs that (obviously) have cat-killing tendencies.
Recently the cat has spent time at our house, exploring, hanging out, etc. We left the window open so the cat could slip out onto the porch and back to the owner's house whenever. But, she didn't and now it makes sense. When we went out that night we finally had to put her outside and lock the door. She was waiting on the porch as we were leaving without any indication of going "back home".
I've talked to all my roommates and they all love Stacy (the cat). **Is it too much to ask if they would let the cat spend more time at our place where it isn't constantly endangered?** I don't want to steal their pet or sound like I'm judging their decisions, but I am worried for the cat.
P.S. To make things more complicated, Neighbor A and Neighbor B are sisters and we are renting out the third house on the property. We are very friendly with them and the dogs kind of check out the whole property all the time. Neighbor B has always said that the cat is cool to roam as long as we don't mind. *I just want the cat to think of our place as a 'mutual home'. | cat is scared to death of dogs because it already killed another cat, can I ask that it hang out at our house more without sounding like a dick/preachy/weird to the owners? |
t3_412z0o | Advice | Pride, ego getting in the way | I'm a guy, 37, with a history of depression since university - I smoked weed from my teens which probably triggered it. Mother also has suffered.
The hardest thing has been getting and keeping work. I excelled at school academically, got a 2.1 (high-middle grade) from a respected university. I have been through menial temporary jobs, unemployment, further study and finally after seven years, a permanent position where I have been for five years and have had success.
There's a guy who I work with now, who is actually my line manager, who is really likeable and almost to a fault a political operator. I have enjoyed working closely with him in the past - he's funny, and as I said a very likeable person. I have in the past, and still sometimes do, look up to him and almost envy his seemingly effortless way of influencing people. I guess you could say he's one of those guys that women want to be with and men want to be.
Ever since I've known him though I never considered him or sought him to be a friend. It was just professional, and I respect him professionally but was OK not being his friend outside work.
Now we have ended up in this line manager-direct report situation and to be honest it's not working. He's not the worst manager in the world but he's inexperienced and needs support (which I'm currently unable / not prepared to give). I'm not the worst employee in the world but I need support and he is unable / not prepared to give it.
I want to resolve this calmly and respectfully, in the way that has characterised our interaction throughout our professional relationship but I find myself coming up against my pride, that seems to make me want to prove that I'm in some way better than him.
Does anyone have any experience of this, or better still any tips for dealing with pride (ego) at work? | working relationship with guy at work - who I respect and value as a person - is at risk. Pride and ego are the only reasons as far as I'm concerned. |
t3_x3f4a | AskReddit | Is it truly unethical to become a New Age spiritual healer? If people are voluntarily paying for services and are open to deception, is it wrong to take their money? Is it hard to fake it? | I have a few people I know, mostly from high school, who for a long time were only marginally successful financially... people who went to cosmetology school, worked in restaurants, etc who have all within the past couple of years opened what I guess you could call "spiritual consulting services".
They tend to post ridiculous things on their wall like "angel healing", "animal communication", "Lemurian Healing", etc. that I find banal and comical. However, these people are regularly filling rooms of 10-30 people for group session for $20 a head, for an hour long session. They charge up to $100 for "personal sessions" in these arts that are fairly steadily booked. These people are making money.
Personally, I love money. I always would like to have more of it. However, I'm at a bit of a moral impasse. I'm a pretty good actor, I'm a good reader. I feel like I could pick up the basics in a fortnight and start applying it for gain. What I really want to know is: | How do people in this "industry" do it? What kinds of self deception and tricks does one need to help them sleep soundly at night? What are the larger ethical implications of feeding a person's (admittedly voluntary) need to be lied to? Personal stories welcome! |
t3_uc5r8 | AskReddit | My Landlord is trying to break our lease early to increase the rent, if I fight it, I'm afraid he will nickel and dime our security deposit... | My roommate and I are currently in a lease that expires at the end of November. At the beginning of May we received a letter saying there was an increase in the Consumer Price Index for our area and our landlord wants to raise the rent by this amount starting in June.
I checked the Rent-Leveling rules in my city and it clearly states that the rent cannot be increased until the end of the current lease.
However if I refuse to pay the increase, I'm concerned our landlord will try to do what he can to evict us or find any reason to keep a large chunk of our security deposit, which is 5x what we will pay in increased rent for the next 6 months.
Any advice reddit? The letter says that if we remain in possession of our rental property after June 1st, it will mean that we accept and agree to the rent increase....wtf
I was thinking maybe I should pay the increased rent and then try to get it back after our lease is up/getting our security deposit back, but idk if I would be able to if we "consented" to the increase by continuing to rent the apartment. | Landlord is increasing our rent, he's not allowed to, but I'm concerned he will come after our security deposit if we fight it. |
t3_3yayyx | relationships | I [21f] screwed up with my [22m] boyfriend and don't know what to do now. | So I had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about two months. I had known him for years but we recently had reconnected and then started dating. Last Monday we were hanging out and talking. He was gonna leave around 10p but then I brought up to him that my heart was guarded with him because of my past. I was afraid that he would dump be out of the blue like my last relationship after I loved him and bared it all to him and whatever. So that got us to talking about our relationship. He started saying he thought he could not meet my expectations and we should just end it now and I said no but he didn't believe me. He thinks I will resent him in months. My religion is very important to me. He is the same religion as me but doesn't practice. He thinks that will be what I resent him about. I also accidentally told him about a list I made a long time ago about qualities I wanted in a spouse and I mistakenly let him read it and that would be the other reasoning he has about not fulfilling my expectations. I just feel so stupid and don't know what to do. I was very happy with him and trusted him and we got along great. I felt like we worked well together. He ended up breaking up with me at 6am in that same period of hanging out. So we talked about our relationship from 10p til 6a after already hanging out for a few hours. I also was drinking before he came over.
What do I do now? I know I need to apologize to him. I'm supposed to meet up with him this week to exchange Christmas presents and talk. I did not foresee us ending like this. | I screwed it up with my boyfriend and don't know what to do now |
t3_dydzl | relationship_advice | Boyfriend and I are at risk of fusing into a single entity. (An almost-typical living-together problem.) | We're both in our early 20s, Canadian, been dating for less than six months and have been living together since mid-September.
I know that's stupid fast, but it's been working for us. We get along crazily well and we never argue (by which I mean we have "heated discussions" which we're usually good at talking out, though there is always room for improvement).
The problem: We've got three classes together... and we see each other... *all the time*. (He's probably going to read this, too, as he sometimes stalks R_A. Hi SOS!) We both need space. Desperately. He said today that we spend too much time together, and he hasn't seen any of his friends IRL in ages.
Which is fine, I feel exactly the same way, but there's a twist:
We're both internet nerd shut-ins.
My routine has pretty much not changed since I moved in with him, except now I get laid a lot more. I come home from school, I go on reddit, I play Minecraft, I listen to music, whatever. This is what I've always done, and while I desperately need friends (I do have one small friend-group, but we're all in our last years of school and thus have only been able to get together once since the year began) I have the kind of personality that people, well, don't generally like until they get to know me, which they rarely ever do. Boyfriend is essentially the same way, though he is more the type to make a ton of friends and then lose contact with them quickly. (Possibly worth mentioning, we're both bipolar, which tends to muck up the interpersonal relationships.) While I'm sitting at my computer, he's on the other side of the bedroom sitting at his and playing games with his online friends.
So there's my horribly long post for a relatively simple problem, summed up thusly: | Boyfriend and I live together and see far, far too much of each other, but we're both shut-ins with difficulty making/getting together with friends. |
t3_4csmja | relationships | Best friend [F22] in relationship with chronically ill boyfriend [M29]. Should I [F23] speak up? | My best friend, Kate, and her boyfriend, Mark, have been together for over two years. They're a precious couple and they seem very compatible. The only problem is that Mark has suffered from chronic nausea for the last seven years.
His symptoms have no formal diagnosis. He has seen numerous physicians and hospitals, inclusing Mayo Clinic, but none have been able to identify what's wrong with him. His pain seems to strike at random, and some months are worse than others. Perhaps because of his illness, he also suffers from extreme depression and social anxiety. He works full time and owns two successful businesses, in spite of it all.
Throughout this process, my friend has been INCREDIBLY loving and supportive. I'm extremely proud of her, but I'm also worried about her. Kate is never able to go out on dates. Sometimes she feels lonely because Mark feels sick and wants to be alone for long periods of time. When they do go out of the apartment (which is less than once a month), he usually gets sick and needs to leave early. She had to leave the concert of her favorite singer at intermission because he felt too ill to stay.
She also cancels plans frequently to go take care of him. She doesn't have an active social life to begin with, so when she can't even see me, I get concerned. She's also gone through long periods of depression where she feels very sad that they can't be a normal couple. She really loves this man and wants to marry him, but he refuses to get engaged until his stomach pain goes away. (Which may never happen...)
Anyways, I know it's really not my business. If they're happy, then that's wonderful. I just feel like my friend is always taking care of him, but I wonder when someone is going to take care of her. She's so young to be dealing with these sorts of issues. I want to speak up on her behalf, but I don't know what to say. Does anyone have any insight? | Friend's boyfriend suffers from chronic stomach pain. She seems unhappy and I wanna say something. Any advice? |
t3_eiqk7 | AskReddit | What is the weirdest/dumbest reason you have ever been pulled over? | I was driving home from my boyfriend's house around elven or twelve and I saw a guy from my school walking down the road. We weren't incredibly close but I knew he had about a mile walk from his girlfriend's house to home.
I pulled over and picked him up. No big deal, I had done it on a couple other occasions. About five minutes later I have these bright headlights in my rear view mirror and then the lights/siren start going. I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong and warned the guy that I was probably going to cry because I had never been pulled over before.
The cop comes up and knocks on my window and I get out my license and am so nervous I can't find my registration. His partner comes up to the other side and asks the guy to get out of the car.
I have no idea what's going on so I'm a little freaked out. The cop is asking me where I'm going, where I'm coming from, how I know the guy, etc. Then he tells me that around the same time I picked up this guy there was a call that someone broke into a car in the area. I could see why it looked suspicious. I told the cop there was no way this was the guy. Then they had another cop car come by with the witness in the back. The witness said it wasn't him and then let us go. It was really intense but both the cops were really nice about it. | Picked up a guy from school then got pulled over because the cops thought he had broken into a car. |
t3_2vtic4 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my girlfriend of 3 months [17 F], socializing issue, need advice | I don't know if the title was clear. My problem is, when we go out, we usually don't have much in common. Well, to be fair, we almost have nothing in common. Music, religious and political views (which we have mutual), are not qualified as a relationship material.
When we go out, we don't talk about much stuff, so sometimes we enjoy the silence, but I want to do stuff with this girl, I want to be social. I'm sure she wants too, but neither of us are creative enough to figure out what can we do together (we talked about it, we can't think of anything).
Do you guys have any kind of advice what I should do? | Sharing only a couple of mutual interests with GF, which are not enough for conversations, they get drained out pretty quickly, need some creative advice on what to do to make the relationship and dating more fun, not just make it make-out sessions etc. |
t3_1j2uum | GetMotivated | My Quantum Physics Based Motivation Idea | As someone who is in a bit of post graduation doldrums at the moment, I hit a bit of a revelation the other day:
*Disclaimer: I know VERY little about quantum physics*
While most people consider quantum physics to be an wholly not understood subject, there is a Multi-worlds theory that I quite like. This theory basically states (from what I understand) that because particles have a probability of behaving a certain way, there may be an infinite number of universes in which everything that ever could have possibly happened has happened. Working off of this, if there is an infinite amount of "anything's possible" universes, there must be one where I'm doing what I need to do and achieving all of my goals. **Why can't that be this universe?** The trick is not to be jealous of any of these other multiple versions yourself, nor should you say, "Eh, determinism, whatever." Make your universe the universe where you're staying motivated and living the life you've always wanted. | There might be infinite universes where every possible thing has happened, make this universe the universe where you achieve your goals. |
t3_2iaq5q | tifu | TIFU by getting drunk for the first time on my moms birthday | This actually happened a week ago, I had never drank alcohol in my life. I decided that I should experience being drunk before my mom came home, which would've been in about 5-6 hours. I searched my house for liquor and found a bottle. My brother was home at the time so I decided to go outside and get drunk. I then proceeded to drink the entire thing mixed with soda over the course of an hour. That was a huge mistake. Next thing I know I'm waking up in the ER covered in blood and vomit. I ask the nurse what time it was and she said it was 9. I began drinking at 3 so I assume I was passed out for a while. Turns out I gave myself alcohol poisoning since it was my first time, and I'm a fifteen year old girl. My parents were there, and surprisingly were not mad. I asked the nurse why I had blood all over my hospital gown and she said it was because I pulled my IV out. I told her I had to use the bathroom so she gave me a cup for a urine test. I managed to get to the restroom and I somehow lost the cup. I went back to the bed and changed into a new gown. The doctors didn't tell me much, or maybe they did but I blacked out so I don't remember at all. The worst thing is my friends mom who is my neighbor was the one who found me laying on the grass passed out and she thought I was dead. I felt so guilty afterwards because it was my moms birthday and I decided to be selfish and I ruined it for her. | I gave myself alcohol poisoning on my moms birthday, ended up in the ER with blood and vomit all over me. |
t3_4aqq4w | relationships | My friend [19 F] told me [19 F] that she's asexual. Was my response okay? | The other day my good friend told me she thinks she's asexual. I've never met an asexual person, so I asked her a few (noninvasive) questions. She said that she's still into romance and dating, but has no interest in sex. I basically said "Oh, okay. Cool." And that was the end of it. But now I'm wondering if I should have said more or been more overtly supportive. My friend's revelation didn't seem particularly dramatic- I don't even know if I should call it "coming out."
I've had a few friends come out to me as gay, and these ordeals were much more emotional than this. They were afraid of facing discrimination and ostracism from their families, so I naturally ended up hugging them, telling them I support them, etc. Should I have done the same with my asexual friend?
Also, I think at one point I asked her if meeting the right person would change anything. According to Tumblr, this question is a big no-no. She didn't seem to mind the question, but I feel kinda bad. | How should I have supported my asexual friend? |
t3_35d5kf | tifu | TIFU by not knowing my friends' birthdays. Also drinking. | This actually happened last night. I was sitting at home drinking some fine Michigan beers while playing Fallout 3.
I took a moment to save the game and check my phone, as it had buzzed a few times, and I mostly can't be bothered when I am roaming the wastes.
A text, from my best friend Ivan, read as follows:
"Jman's bday today."
Now, in my drunk mind there's certainly only one "Jman" he could be referring to, Josh B, a mutual friend (This is a problem for me when drunk, I get Walter Sobchak levels of certainty about things whether I am correct or not). Also, I'm terrible at remembering birthdays and don't really use Facebook anymore so I really appreciated Ivan's alert.
Although it's past midnight, and I'm a little late, I send Josh B a birthday text with a short message that I'm sure I drunkenly thought was clever and insightful. It wasn't, but there's no reasoning with drunk me. I then texted Ivan back, thanking him for the heads up, and asked him how old "Jman" is now. I passed out shortly thereafter.
The next morning, I received a confused text from Ivan asking me what I was talking about. I'm like "Josh B's birthday." Ivan says "Oh…no his birthday is in January or something," and he then explained that the "Jman bday" he was referring to was Josh A, another mutual friend of ours. Yesterday was Josh A's birthday.
Josh A died of cancer nine years ago…
Ivan was really close with Josh A so he was probably just feeling reflective that night and was pouring one out for our fallen comrade when he sent me the "Jman" text.
Josh B was also friends with Josh A and probably will put together whose birthday it actually was, given my weird and erroneous birthday message.
Josh B and I have known each other a long time, but we have never been very close. Recently though, we've sort of reconnected. Time to put this tenuous friendship to the test, I suppose. | told friend "happy birthday!" when it was actually deceased mutual friend's birthday. |
t3_j5da0 | relationships | Engaged with date set and my secret might come out | I'll try to be brief. I'm 26(m), she's 28, engaged 2 months, together 2.5 years, to be married in February w/ date set.
...And I screwed up 2 years ago at a party. Got too drunk playing a stupid drinking game and ended up partly naked with a partly naked sexy coed sitting on my lap. We made out a little at the party. I was too drunk and dumb to extricate myself from the situation. After the party found out she lived in my part of town so of course it was convenient for her to take me home (I was still wasted and horny). Well, we went to her house instead and did some stuff. No sex, mainly making out and groping which ended as soon as I sobered up. Never saw each other or spoke of it again.
The end? No. Here are some more facts.
Most of my best men were at this party. I only got one question about "WTF are you doing, man?" and it wasn't even an angry question, just a confused one. My story to the guys was we just did the dumb things they all saw at the party and then she just took me home. The tangled web of connections is irrelevant, but somehow her story got into the mix and now they all probably know what I did.
I'm a good man, I treat my fiancé amazingly, and I plan to forever. This is truly my first adulterous act of my life, and I've regretted it ever since to the point of many sleepless nights.
I read a bit about cheating at the time and most of the advice was: "If there is practically 0% chance of her ever finding out, and you never do it again, take it to the grave." But now, with the best men knowing more than I thought, and the "Speak now or forever hold your peace" question coming up, the chance may be closer to like 5%. Maybe 10% chance of someone accidentally hinting at it and then me not being able to withstand questioning from her.
What should I do? | Messed up at a party early in my relationship and thought my secret was safe, but it may not be as secure as I hoped. Should I still take my mistake to the grave? |
t3_2dim9c | relationships | Me [19 F] with my friend [20 F] of 8 years, she is actively trying to be with my Father (4th update) | I'm so angry I can barely type this out. I feel betrayed, used and ultimately sickened over this.
This is such bullshit. I had mentally prepared myself a couple of weeks ago for something to happen but was told by both of them that nothing would happen.
Fucking liars, both of them.
There is absolutely no worse feeling on the damn earth than walking in and seeing your father and your best friend involved in the act. I wanted to snatch the hair out of her head when I saw her there.
I was so disgusted with both of them that I just left the house. My brother said he suspected something was still going on because he said she did not stop coming over.
Right now I hate her, I fucking absolutely hate her. How could she do this after we talked it out and she even said she needed to move on.
But him, hell I don't even know what to think. He was all Mr. mature in turning her down and then I get to see him doing what no Daughter should have to see a Father do in particular to her best friend.
I can't hate him because he is my Dad but I'll be damned if I am not really pissed at him right now as well.
I haven't even spoken to either of them since this. Now what? Where the fuck do we go from here.
I'm sorry reddit, I don't mean to be so vulgar but that was just to much for me. | Well they did it & I had to fucking see part of it. |
t3_2kay6f | relationships | I [18M] am dying to text her [18M] how I still feel, but I'm just waiting for her to text me back. | It's a long story, but I'll try to make it understandable.
We started talking last December, and we instantly became best friends. She started liking me more than that, and I was too oblivious to see. So I went through a couple of different relationships with two other girls, and she was the person who I came to when I had an issue. She was always there for me, and I always liked her too, although I was too afraid to admit.
I broke up with my last girlfriend in this past May, and then my best friend and I got closer. We started holding hands and I kissed her, and we were never "official", but we were exclusive.
This is when the issue started. I was getting afraid of college. We'd be away, and I was slowly getting more silent. I kept to myself, and I explained to her that I didn't want to hold her back from finishing high school. She understood, but I stupidly left it at that. We could've been more if I tried, but I stopped talking to her for three months. Every day though, I thought about her, and I eventually became too afraid to talk to her again.
Two weeks ago, I texted her and explained what I did and why I thought I did it. Obviously, she was upset, but she accepted my apology, told me she missed me, but she was done waiting on me. So for the past two weeks I've been sitting here, wondering if I should text her again. I like her way too much, and I beat myself upset about letting her go like that everyday. She meant more than anything to me, and I knew if we got into a relationship together, we'd easily last forever, if not a long time. She thought the exact same thing. We never fought, even when I texted her. We just calmly explained why we were upset, and tried fixing it. I miss her. She makes me happier than anything.
What on Earth do I do? | I stopped talking to what I would like to call my soul mate for three months, and apologized for doing so. She forgave me, but hasn't talked to me since. I don't know if she still wants to be with me even though she admitted she did miss me, and I've been sitting here for two weeks wondering if I should talk to her again, because I'd give everything to have what we used to have. |
t3_1qvv41 | AskReddit | People of Reddit, what is one descision that was either life saving or life changing that you made. | For example, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a stuntman. So, I went to do stupid things. So as I'm jumping around, i attempt to climb on my couch's arm rest and fall backwards (like people do when they jump off huge buildings). Although, for some strange reason, as I had my hands spread wide open and ready to fall, my mood changes and I got really sad and depressed. Thus, my energy was drained and I got back down. Little did I know, there was a fucking pair of scissors in the middle of the cushion with the sharp side pointing up. I looked at it, and was in complete shock. Even to this day. I can't believe it. | I almost fell onto a pair of scissors and almost really hurt myself. |
t3_48j97i | relationship_advice | Almost a year and half has passed, and I'm [26/M] still not over him. WTF is wrong with me. | Met someone a little over a year ago. Thought it was absolutely great, but the feeling turned out to not be mutual. He ended things and it sucked, but I had to chalk it up and move on.
I thought I did. I've definitely been going through the motions at least. I go to school, work 2 jobs, work out avidly 4-5 times a week, pursue my hobbies and passions, and hang out with friends and go to parties. I even date. Pretty regularly when I have the time. Through all of this though, I still miss him. Almost every day. Or rather what the idealized version of himself was in my head, and what I thought he could have been. Certainly what he turned out to be.
Maybe it's cause I'm not where I want to be yet in life, or maybe it's cause I just haven't met someone that inspired me the way he initially did (it really feels like the pool has been running dry around me), but I keep catching myself feeling sorry over the loss of what I thought we'd be.
Is this even normal at this point? Do people continue to lead their lives, carrying with them this dead-end yearning for someone for this long till they meet someone else? I wish him well, and don't hold resentment towards him cause that's not something I wanna carry and let fester within me. Yet, I find it very frustrating to have moments of being down over someone who I know was happily partying out and about while I was sad cause I was blown off repeatedly and just by myself at home. I swore I won't ever let myself end up in that position with someone else again, (and I haven't) , but I hate that I still care and feel bummed over what we had. Especially when he clearly wasn't as invested. | I'm still hung up on something that's not worth being hung up over, and frankly it's taking too long with it being upwards of a year. I'm investing in myself with fitness, school, work, hobbies etc, but this feeling needs to go. Not sure what else to do. |
t3_xxcy1 | relationships | Im 22 he is 32, starting to wonder if that dating thing would actually work. | I (f) am 22, he is 32
Known eachother since I was 18
Weve been flirting since September
We first kissed in March.
We first had sex in April.
It's been a casual situation since, very low key. We get along great, laugh, talk about shit, text (recently more frequently, and he seems to be the one speeding it up)
Just got back from his house, haven't seen him in about two or three weeks. He is starting to act clingy. Accidently let an L bomb slip, I don't think there was much seriousness to it however.
I have ofcourse always been very fond of him but continued to just do my own thing and talk to people and not really considered this turning into anything more than a fuck buddy situatiom, not because I Didnt want to but strictly due to the 10 year difference.
Then tonight happened, cuddled for like one of the first times, talked about more stuff, laughed about more stuff etc. So now I am wondering....is the age thing really a problem? I am not going to change any of my habits anytime soon...but I am starting to think that his age shouldn't be why I am ruling him out of the options. | I am 22 he is 32, we have a connection and have been talking since april but I have kind of just assumed it's nothing more than sex until things got a little more emotional tonight. Is it even possible for this to turn into a relationship in the future? (like months ahead) |
t3_382ve3 | tifu | TIFU by having untied shoelaces (NSFW) | This actually happened about a decade ago, when i was just wee lad of 9.
I was vacationing in Majorca with friends and family, and we had just returned from a morning on wandering around the shops and getting breakfast. I had spent that entire morning, thinking of when i would finally be able to get back to the hotel and jump into the pool with my friends (It was a specially hot day).
When we made it back to the hotel, i was just buzzing with excitement, that kind of ''I've been waiting months for this movie to come out'' feeling. At this point it might be helpful for me to mention that at the grand age of 9, *i did not know how to tie my own shoelaces* and i usually spent most of my days with them flailing around on the floor.
Now, anyway, the hotel that we were staying in had a pretty large staircase out front made of marble, and as we were staying in a room pretty close to the ground floor and i figured that i'd just rush up the stairs and make it to the room before anyone else, however, in my excitement i hadn't realised that the shoelaces on my trainers were untied, but in the hyperactive mind of a child, there simply isn't any time for minor details like that.
So i start sprinting towards the staircase, and when i was just a foot away from the first step, i end up stepping on my left shoelace and in slow motion, i go face, or should i say **MOUTH**first towards the edge of the 4th step.
I'll spare you the details of what happened after my face made contact with the staircase, but instead of hanging out in the pool with my friends, i spent most of my afternoon sitting in a foreign hospital having my face fixed(a few broken and missing teeth), only to find out that by the time i had gotten back to the hotel, my friends AND MY BROTHER had already pissed around in the pool and wanted to play pokemon instead. | I got over-excited, ran face-first into a marble staircase and then my friends went in the pool without me. |
t3_2w2kz7 | relationships | Me (30F) with BF (32M) of about 1.5 years, living together. I feel like I got blown off for Vday and my birthday. (The day right after) not really sure how to approach this. | So as it says in the title, I live in New England, the snow over by the weekend prevented me from going out to celebrate or really do anything. We knew the storm was coming that's why since January we planned to celebrate my birthday the Friday before the weekend started knowing we wouldn't see each other for the next 48-72 hours, he will be working doing plowing. He completely blew me off on Friday, claimed he wasn't in the mood to go out and played video games instead then left at 3 am the next morning. Last Wed he went and bought be a vday/birthday gift (a small carved box) and gave it to me that day. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat, but this is the second birthday since we started dating I get completely ignored. Last year I paid for dinner for my own birthday. He didn't get me anything. His birthday is next month, I already have a FULL weekend planned, bought backstage passes to his favorite band, dinner in the city, the whole nine. Am I ungrateful that he didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday? I don't know what to do?
It is a big deal to me, I told him or months how big it is. I've never had a real birthday, I have a screwed up past and I really just wanted dinner and maybe a flower. I just wanted to feel appreciated and loved, I didn't even get a hug.
Id also like to add that his "work" is completely voluntary. He gets cash under the table, so taking an extra hour off to see me (the place he works is in town) he usually stops in by the house all the time, except this weekend he avoided any "stops". | Boyfriend blew me off for Vday and my birthday for work, then doesn't even call or text, still haven't seen him, did this to me last year, I don't know what to do, I feel like it is really inconsiderate and my feeling are hurt. Or am I just overreacting and thinking too much? |
t3_2tth0v | relationships | I'm [M/31] getting to the end of my rope with my partner's [F/32] anger issues | I've been with my girlfriend for 1.5 years. We've lived together for the last six months. She's always had an anger issue but she sees a therapist about it and is actively working on it. Lately, her anger has been so out of control that I'm anxious about bringing up certain topics because I have no clue how she's going to react. Sometimes she'll react in a very calm, well-adjusted way. Other times, she'll overreact like crazy to the smallest, inconsequential thing.
I love her and I want to be with her but I'm tired of tip-toeing around her. I've subconsciously don't this for a time and now i'm consciously avoiding topics because I'm concerned of how she'll react. I hate this. She will go from being "happy" to "incensed" in the span of a 30 second conversation. I'm now actively beginning to think this won't work because of her anger issues. | My girlfriend's anger issues are beginning to make me think this won't work. |
t3_305mua | Advice | How does one documentary? | A couple of questions from someone trying to do a little good in the world.
One, Is it a terrible idea to shoot a documentary on a phone? I have a badass idea, I think, but no way to procure a video camera. Besides, I kind of need to be incognito for it to work. Of course, I'll get permission from people in the film, but bulky lighting, cameras etc. will just get in the way of what I'm trying to do.
Two, this involves an expirement. Granted I'm not hooking anyone up to machines or anything like that, but do you feel my 'subjects' should be compensated for their time?
Three, there are going to be people filmed in cars going by, do I need to get them to sign the same contract giving me permission to use their likeness? I'm trying to not get sued. You know how it is.
Four, is funding a bad idea? It would be nice to have someone backing me up, but I don't want to have to pay royalties and things. I want this to be strictly non-profit.
Five, how far in-depth should I go in telling people what I'm doing? How likely is it someone will rob me of my idea and make it their own?
Suggestions? | 1. Is a smartphone a bad idea for a camera? |
t3_2pvzne | relationships | How do I get my sister (underage) out of an abusive relationship? | She (17/f) has been dating the guy (17/m) for a year and in that time frame he has destroyed her self esteem by calling her names and clingy and annoying and ditching her for his friends all the time. One time when they were fighting he grabbed her arm so hard, she had bruises after. A few times she said she thought he would punch her but he stopped himself. When she told me about it and he saw the messages to me on her phone, he told her off and yelled at her for telling people he's less than a perfect boyfriend.
They were really on and off. She would always run back to him. I think she thinks she's worth nothing without him.
My parents and I intervened lots of times and eventually we got her to not run back after one of their break-ups. (He dumped her on their anniversary.) it was hard at first but eventually she seemed to get over it. She's turning 18 soon so she's really difficult to supervise and I only found out weeks later that she's hanging out with him again.
At first he was fine and I thought maybe things were okay now but just yesterday he sent my sister abusive texts again telling her how annoying and clingy she is and how he's glad he's rid of her. She felt so horrible and cried. She also constantly tells me she's scared of him but she can't let him go. She says she just wants to be friends and when I tell her she can't do that and that she has to walk away, she says I can't tell her what to do. Some days she admits he's abusive and blames it on herself. Other days she denies he ever did anything wrong.
Her boyfriend has a history of physical abuse from his father in his childhood and often saw his mother get beaten up.
I don't want to see her get hurt but she literally won't listen to anything I say. I think she's starting to shut me out. How can I make her stay away from him?
My parent's don't know about the most recent stuff and I can't betray her trust otherwise she'll completely shut me out. Please help. I'm really desperate. | my sister won't stop hanging out with her abusive ex. |
t3_1dwhxw | BreakUps | I'm (25m) terrified I'll never find someone like her (24f) again | I think I'm just writing this to get it out of my system, and I think I know all the standard responses: 7 billion people in the world, many different people for everyone, 'you're only 25, you've got so much time.'
I don't think any of them make it less scary, though. There's nothing particularly unique about my story, and you've probably heard it all before.
She was my first real relationship, lasting three and a half years. She was the first girl I ever properly loved, the first girl I felt comfortable enough with to sleep with. She was beautiful and funny, in her own, stupid way.
We broke up 8 months ago, and it was mostly my decision. We were fighting all the time and wanted different things for the next few years – we both wanted to start our careers in different corners of the globe, she wanted marriage and I was unsure. We had completely different conflict resolutions styles – I'd want to talk about things and hash them out, she'd just get angry and close up. I remember thinking 'if I was viewing this relationship as an outsider, I'd recommend ending it.'
But I still love her. She was still my first everything. I can't make it go away.
Even though there are a lot of reasons for what went down, I'm so scared I'll never have that kind of connection again with anyone else. It took me so long to find someone like her the first time (relative to my life span, anyway), and I have no idea where to begin in starting again.
What's worse is that since we've been apart she's had offers from guys, dates, hook ups. I've had barely any interest from girls, maybe because I'm expected to make the first move, maybe because I haven't been looking, I don't know. But it hurts my self-esteem and makes me so worried about the future. | Having that closeness and connection with someone for so long is without a doubt the best thing that's ever happened in my life. How in the hell can I get back to a place where that's possible again? |
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