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t3_4mtpf6 | relationships | Me [25 F] with my BF [26 M] of 3 years, I think I'm in love with a woman | I love my boyfriend, relationship is not perfect but we intend to stay together, he knows I am bi but I've never dated or had serious feelings for a woman.
I recently met up with an old friend/acquaintance of mine who is in town for the summer and we spent the day together. She's smart, beautiful, sensitive, we have the same interests. She has a semi-serious girlfriend and we opened up about relationships a bit.
I found myself becoming increasingly attracted to her and she's been on my mind since. This was ~2 weeks ago and I haven't spoken to her again except for a few texts reiterating our good time catching up.
I can't stop thinking about her and it feels like cheating. Very invasive thoughts. Very emotional and sexual feelings. I've never felt this way for a woman and it's very overwhelming and new. I've had crushes on men before while in my relationship and just ignored it until it went away. Bf hears about them after the fact and isn't thrilled, but ultimately isn't threatened. This "crush" feels stronger and more emotional somehow.
I intend to keep my distance from her. But I feel so torn up and wrong. I daydream of a life with her whenever I am lonely. I find porn stars that look like her... Occasionally see her pictures on my IG feed and feel like crying. Idk what on earth is wrong with me.
My boyfriend is insecure and currently in a rough patch, this would destroy him to know. Aside from avoiding the girl, what should I do? Is this a red flag for something larger?
If you've read this much, thank you. | In a stable LTR and developed feelings for someone else, feeling guilty and unsure how to cope. |
t3_1l9xeb | relationship_advice | [26/f] my boyfriend of 5 years [24/m] has just changed his mind on everything. | Out of the blue this past weekend he notified me that he now no longer wants kids, and as of right now has no intentions on getting married. These are both things we've talked about over the years. We have been living together for 4 years and I pay most/all the bills. I work full time and he works part time. He stopped trying to better his career life and has sorta been depressed. I've done everything I can to provide for us and now he's telling me he doesn't want the future we've talked about. What should I do? Wait it out? Ever since the chat he's been super distant. I'm just not sure what to do. | boyfriend changed his views on our future. What should I do? |
t3_2tzcw5 | relationships | Me [18 F] with my Boyfriend [19 M] of 4 months, he's been really down lately and I want to cheer him up | My boyfriend and I are really great friends and spend a lot of time together because we live in dorms that are very close to each other. Recently he's been really down about things he doesn't feel like sharing with me, which is totally fine. After a couple talks I convinced him to book an appointment at our college psycological counceling center which is great. His appointment is sometime next week which I hope will help him in the long term, but in the shorter term, what can I do to help cheer him up?
I realize whatever I do won't "fix" him or make him happy, I just want to make a gesture that I care about him and do something special. Last weekend I took him out for an expensive dinner but he was still really down that night which only got worse as he drank. Last night I brought him takeout which he appreciated, but now I'm running short on money.
I know he likes food, alcohol, and football, but I dont have a lot of cash and he had a meltdown last time he got drunk and I don't want that to happen again. Please help me out with any ideas of things I can do for him that show him I care and may improve his day. | Boyfriend has been down lately, what are nice things that I can do for him? |
t3_iag54 | personalfinance | Rolling over my Solo Roth 401(k) into a Roth IRA, trying to avoid negative tax consequences. | Hey folks,
So I was self-employed for a few years and have recently switched to full-time work. While I was self-employed, I opened a Solo Roth 401(k), which I currently pay a (small) quarterly maintenance fee on.
I'd like to close up the Roth 401(k) and roll it over into a Roth IRA. I figure this gives me the most flexibility because in 5 years, the rollover contribution can be pulled out without consequence (if I run into an emergency).
*Before* I rollover the 401(k), I'd like to maximize my contribution to it with the last of my self-employed income (which stopped trickling in last month).
I believe I can just toss in 100% of the self-employed money I made from April 15 of this year to now; the total is less than the 401(k) contribution limit for 2011.
My current employer (unfortunately) does not offer a 401(k) plan, so I'm not concerned about accidentally over-contributing.
So based on the above:
1) Am I violating any tax rules?
2) Are there any steps I didn't mention that I should be *absolutely sure to complete* correctly?
3) Is this something I should hire a professional to execute or review for me?
4) Is there a special way I need to note this for my 2011 taxes and will it result in any tax owed by me this year?
5) Is there a smarter option available, or something better I could be doing with the 401(k)? | Want to roll over self-employed Roth 401(k) into Roth IRA; want to max out 401(k) contributions first. Workable? |
t3_37uslf | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend [24F] for 2 months, I feel like I could do better. | My girlfriend and I met on a dating website about two months back, and we hit it off pretty well. We had to skirt around finding a perfect time to meet up for our first date; she didn't give up and neither did I. When we finally did meet up, we hit it off really well and it lasted for hours. I walked her to her car and she gave me a hug and said thank you, and I went on my way.
Two months later, She and I love each other. we met each other's parents and we create some great foreplay, but lately I feel as if I am missing out on something better. I feel like I know someone else is out there that can share a better connection with me than I can with my current girlfriend. I'm not saying I don't love my girlfriend, because I do; what I am saying is that I feel like I can find someone better for me. | Dating GF for two months. feels like I can find someone else better. What should I do? Should I tell her? |
t3_1hwqj5 | relationships | I [21M] am hanging out with a girl [21F] I'm interested in. She isn't aware of this interest yet. | I'll be making dinner with a friend of mine [titular 21F] this week (and possibly more, we haven't discussed plans in much detail). No romantic intention has been specified by either of us, and I'm content with our time spent together being platonic. In any event, she's still my friend.
That said, I am interested in her. I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together, and she's quite cute. We've known each other for about three years and she's talked to me once about her boy problems in the past. I know some consider this kind of talk a dead end, but I honestly just see it as helping out a friend, not something that can eliminate my chances with her.
I don't want to start coming on to her out of nowhere (these feelings are somewhat recent). This leads to my question: how can I (start to?) convey interest in a way that is not abrupt, but not too reserved? (for lack of a better word) | Hanging out with a girl I'm secretly interested in, want to convey interest but without coming on too strong or scaring her off. |
t3_1i2d6w | relationship_advice | Girlfriend [32/f] says that I [26/m] do not share enough of my own thoughts and opinions, and am not meeting her needs. | Here is the deal. I've been dating this girl for about 4 months. She has had some issues in her life that cause her to be quite depressed from time to time. During these times (which I view as very frequent), she completely stonewalls me when I try to talk to her or snap her out of it.
I am naturally a quieter person, but I don't think of myself as closed off. That being said..HER issue is that I don't have deeper conversations with her about my thoughts and intents in everyday situations, which exacerbates her depression and causes her 'stonewalling' incidents to increase in frequency. MY issue is that I feel very uncomfortable having deeper conversations when she is giving me curt, 1 word answers because of her moods. She says that those are the moments where she needs me to be the most communicative. What usually ends up happening is that I make mundane observations and ask random questions to try and get a conversation going, which doesn't work. I don't feel comfortable going straight into something like "this is how i feel about life..." when she is in this state.
I often take her moods personally because I know that they are at least partially due to her frustrations about me, which causes me to be defensive when she states that all the silence is making her awkward.
I'm sorry for the rant, but I am hoping that somebody has some suggestions as to how I can better communicate with her during these moments. As it stands now, we are on an extended break (or broken up) unless I make a change that makes me feel less uncomfortable, and gets her talking more when she is in a bad place. | I need better communication skills! |
t3_24zbhh | relationship_advice | I (20/M) can become needy and feel an urge to see my girlfriend(18/F) all of a sudden and don't know why. | Hey, to put you in context we've been together for now almost a year, everything is going great but I feel like I have a problem that I need to talk to you guys about. Everything can be going great for a while, let's say a week or two, we spend some nights apart, we do stuff on our own and I have no worry about it, no problem.
But then, all of a sudden, without any apparent reason, it seems that something is triggered in my mind that makes me need, and I really mean it when I say need to see her. It usually starts out of nowhere, and when I ask her if she wants to do something later in the day and she says no, I kind of freak out inside( Not all the time, only when I'm in this weird state of mind) , I'll start freaking out about not seeing her for a couple days, I'll start asking myself stupid questions about why she doesn't want to see me.
I'd say the way I react with her during this phase is really just childish, I'll try to convince her to do something, tell her how I won't be doing anything for the night, how boring it is. I know it's a stupid way to react, I'm fully aware of it, but that's just how I react during those moments.
I feel like all I need is to be reassured that everything is going well, that she loves me, that nothing is wrong, but that's just not what happens, because her reaction, which is totally justified, is to be more distant and not talk to me as much for the rest of the night, which in return makes me freak out even more.
Why do I get these urges sometimes, how could I calm them, should I talk to my girlfriend about this seriously? That's a lot of questions, thanks for reading all of this, if you have any questions you need answered to help me, don't hesitate. | Once in a while, out of nowhere I become an overly attached boyfriend for a couple of days and don't know why or how to calm myself down. |
t3_22u84n | relationships | Me [32M] and her [32F] - First Date Tomorrow! Could use some advice on what to do! | So, I haven't been on a date in years and I'm admittedly a little nervous about how this is gonna go down. We met a week ago hanging out with some mutual friends and so far we don't know a whole lot about each other but every time I've spoken to her this past week she was looking forward to the date.
I decided to take the approach of asking her what she likes and so I'm thinking do that...dinner/movie, maybe coffee or ice cream after. Something low pressure, time to talk at different points, that sort of thing.
Agree? Disagree? Suggestions? Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks | Nervous for first date: Keep it simple or get creative? |
t3_3rjrwd | relationships | Me [20 M] with my roommate [20 M], trying not to damage relationship over rent concerns. | Hello I need some advice concerning a rent situation with my roommate. Before we moved into our apartment (both students in a college town), it was agreed that I would pay $40 more for the master bathroom. Last month when the rent deadline came about, I payed $780 while my roommate payed $700. Looking back, I realized that I made a mistake and if it were a $40 difference, I would be paying $760 and he would pay $720. Fast forward to yesterday, we were texting about the situation and he seemed weird about it. I brought it up again this morning and he said something along the lines of "I thought our agreement was that you pay $40 more and I pay $40 less" which doesn't make sense to me because on paper it looks like I am paying more (double to be exact).
This provoked me to look through my text messages and notice that I never said that. BUT I might have agreed to it in the past without knowing what he truly meant (in other words miscommunication). He left saying that we would talk about it later. I should also mention that his car broke down last week and I feel crappy about bringing up money right now. I feel like the answer is simple and I have asked multiple friends on their take of the situation. I don't want to burn any bridges with my roommate (we have a year lease) and need to know if I am in the right or wrong and how to go about dealing with it. | Paying $40 more for shared apartment with roommate. Having trouble figuring out what is fair after I figured out that I was doing my math wrong. Don't want to burn bridges with roommate as we have a year lease. |
t3_13mmj4 | AskReddit | How do you properly ask for a raise without pressuring or without sounding like an insecure asshole to the HR/boss? | I make 16$/hr as a Network Admin for a small to medium construction company. Another person (my partner) with the same role and experience makes 19$/hr. She's been here longer than I am, 1 year earlier but she asked to start at 19$/hr when she first started and the company had to give it to her because they badly needed someone to start right away that time. (she was offered 16$/hr too to begin with but she didn't take it and asked for 19$ instead) I don't have the balls to do what she did. All I'm saying is we have the exact same responsibility and title and I'd like to have close to what she is making, but I don't know how to say it properly to the boss | I just got off the term position and I have been working for the past 7 months and I'd like to have the same (or close) to what my partner is currently making and I don't know how to start the conversation to my boss. |
t3_2e8d85 | relationships | I (26F) have been with my BF (32M) for four months. Thinking about breaking up. | I've never had such difficulty communicating with a partner.
If you look at my post history, you'll see recently we had an issue where I told him I had been diagnosed with herpes and he took it relatively well.
The problem now is that he's been in his home country since then. Stopped calling me the pet names he used to. Barely speaks to me.
He has never spoken to me as much I would like. In all honesty he is so clever that I never feel interesting enough for him.
Is the following text really horrible or stupid to send?
Hey. I've been thinking a lot, about us. Is this something you really want? I find myself being conflicted because I actually really like you, a lot. I feel like you like (or liked) me a lot too. But I also feel as though it doesn't really matter to you whether I'm around or not. If that's the case, I do completely understand, fair enough. I just don't think it's the dynamic either of us deserves. | should I dump someone way out of my |
t3_2bkge2 | relationships | I [31M] am considering breaking up with an incredible girl [26F], because I feel like we're on different wave lengths, am I a fool? | I've [31M] been with a Japanese girl [26F] for a year and a half now.
I'm her first boyfriend, she's loyal as can be, she's cute, she can cook well, she's a great home maker, she's light hearted, her sense of humour is very slapstick, which i enjoy from time to time and she'll make an excellent mother one day.
But when we talk, conversation is so redundant, I rarely have a hearty laugh with her.
Conversation covers surface level stuff, but we rarely have a conversation that I enjoy. She's not really into any of the things that I'm into, although she tries really hard to be, and I'm not into any of the things she's into. In fact, how we're even together, I have no idea.
I don't really want to give her up because she's so awesome in so many ways, but I'm so intrigued and attracted to any other female that I can have a decent conversation with.
She ticks nearly every box, except one...
I'm considering breaking up with her, am I a fool for doing so? Should I just make it work some how? I want a companion, not just an amazing girl... | Am i being a dick for wanting a girl that I can have an enjoyable conversation with? |
t3_2eyjhy | relationships | Roommate won't be discreet about smoking in dorm. Advice? | I'm[m20] going into my third year at college and living in an on campus apartment my [m20]roommate (who i've somewhat known but wouldn't call a friend) smokes weed every day in the apartment. Now our school is rather tolerant of pot (no random searches and they tend to ignore the smells of the hall) but that doesn't mean people don't get busted for it for being obvious. Honestly if he just hid it and masked the smell, no one would ever notice. But he doesn't.
He leaves his pipe and weed laying out right by the door almost every day. I've told him he needs to hide it because I don't want to get in trouble for something I don't even do but he responds with "no one will find out" and "you won't get in trouble for it" each time even though I very well could especially if it's laying out. Also after I ask him he ends up only being discreet about it for about a day until it starts again.
I really don't care what he does, I don't care if he smokes in his room away from me, I'm not against pot though I don't use it, I just don't want to get in trouble for it. I don't want to tell one of the RA's about it because he would know it was me if he's getting questioned and i'm not and I don't want him to get in trouble for it when I tell the RA it's his and not mine. I don't feel like I'm asking too much for him to simply be a little smarter about his use. I really wish he'd do it off campus, but really basic smartness about his use would suffice.
What is the next step from here? Do I tell an RA? Do I just pray that if i keep asking finally he will get the hint? He's going to get caught with the way he's acting. I just don't want to get in trouble for it. | Roommate is really dumb about smoking weed in our dorm, leaves it out in the open despite me asking him to be discreet. I don't care what he does, i just don't want to get in trouble for it. |
t3_3eq7ye | relationships | Me [20f] with my boyfriend [22m] of 6 months, he says we can only stay together if I lose weight | So the backstory on this is that a few nights ago we almost broke up because he said he felt we weren't a good match. At first he wouldn't really explain any further than that, but I now know that it's because of my weight. He didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He told me that he thinks I'm very pretty, and is still attracted to me, but is bothered by my weight. He has seen pictures of me from say year when I was thinner and thinks I look super hot.
For the background on my body, I'm 5'7" and 160 pounds. So, yes, I definitely do need to lose weight. I've been trying over the past couple of months, and lost about 8-10 pounds. But then I hurt my leg, stopped exercising, and just kinda lost all my motivation. So the issue isn't that he wants me to lose weight, because I really want to do it too! We go out to eat A LOT so if we even just stop doing that, I'll definitely drop some pounds.
I'm pretty much the same size now as I was when we met and he told me before that it wasn't a problem. Now he's telling me it's essentially a deal breaker and that he tried to look past it but couldn't. I feel like this is going to put a lot of pressure on me, knowing that if I don't lose it quickly or don't lose enough, our relationship will end. I definitely like him and I really want to stay together but I'm just not sure how this will work out. Is it worth trying? | Boyfriend told me my weight is a deal breaker and I need to lose it to stay together |
t3_2b0gzq | tifu | TIFU by losing the remote. | So, a couple weeks ago, my teenager went to grandmas out of state for the fourth holiday; so i rocked the single life. Moved into the living room, drank and played video games after work. I lost the remote about a week ago. But, no big deal, I have the tv remote app on my unspecified tablet device. Problem solved, drinking intensifies.
Yesterday, I met her aunt halfway and picked her up, didn't get in till late. This afternoon, she wakes up and comes downstairs, wanting to watch the shows she recorded while she was gone. I was in the kitchen, and told her I lost the remote but was using the app. She says Oh, I'll look real quick. I said okay, and came around the island as she starts pulling couch cushions. I'm standing about six feet away from her when she gets to the left one.
And it dawns on me, as he arm comes in the air.
"Umm, thats my vibrator in your hand."
Object flies into corner. "Yeah, I can see that." Starts walking away.
"Well, go wash your hands. Sorry."
"I was already going."
Well, fuck. I can't believe I forgot to put it away. She washes her hands, comes out and grabs the tablet. Puts on one of the 4 ghost shows she recorded. I have no intention of discussing it, and I doubt she does either. | Watched my teenager find my vibrator today. Still don't have the remote. |
t3_1wvtab | tifu | TIFU by not being more careful. | I'll try to make this simple as possible. Pretty much I was in Seattle this night about 2 hours ago and I had my gold chain on. A black man snatched it off my neck and ran off while I tried to catch him, I then caught up to him in an alley and he told me, "do you want to get fucked up?". Which I replied by putting my hands up, my friend caught up to the alley and he started running again. I ran out of breath when he was going up some stairs and he got in a car which was filled with about 5 other people. I confronted them saying it was fucked up and I just want my chain back because it has sentimental value which they replied they don't know what I'm talking about when clearly the guy is sitting in the back seat. I managed to talk to a cop and explain what happened, then he talked to them but pretty much he couldn't search the car because he needed a search warrant. They took down his licence plate and said all I could do was take it to small court claims and they took my name and number. I fucked up and I'm angry writing this. I just needed to vent, and any help about how to move forward with small claims? I have 4 witnesses. TIFU. | Got jacked right in front of my face and couldn't do nothing about it. |
t3_265awd | relationships | Me [27 M] with my wife [26 f/] of 3 years(together for 6), I'll have to leave the country soon, don't know what to do. | I'm feeling a little bit flustered so please bear with me.
Ok, so I used to live in Latin America and in my senior year in HS I met this girl from the states, we became friends. She actually spent two years living there and all that time we got close. Then, in 2006 I landed a scholarship to study in the U.S. I came here, and around 2007 she returned to the states and we reconnected.
In 2008 we finally started dating, and we've been very much in love since then. In 2011 I asked her to marry and she said yes. We are very, very close and the only time we spent apart was whenever I left to visit my country for 2-3 weeks. Now, finally in 2014 my program is coming to an end. We had planned to apply for another program that would give me an extra 18 months so we could devise a proper plan on what we were going to do and how we were going to do it, but that fell through.
Now we are in this difficult situation. I have to go back to my country in two weeks, and neither of us are taking it well. She can't come with me, at least not yet. She's still in College and it would be pretty selfish of me to make her drop out and throw all that money away (plus debt) so we can be together.
One of the requirements of the program was that after completion I have a 2 year residency requirement, meaning that she can't file for me to get a green card or anything like that, at least until those two years are up.
So what do I do /r/relationships? How do I leave my wife in another country? How does one even come to grips with doing such a thing? I need help. | Married the girl of my dreams as an international student, program is done and now I need to leave the country. What do I do? |
t3_xsjxx | loseit | So I decided to cheat on my diet and it ended well. | I'm on the liquid amino acid diet, which requires you to take a supplement 3 times a day as well as restricts a LOT of foods including peanut butter and I decided to skip this today. I didn't really eat much today, but I am seriously addicted to peanut butter and it's been like a month since i've been able to eat peanut butter.
So I went to the pantry and ate a few scoops of peanut butter. As I walked from the pantry, I started choking and felt sick. I drank a big swig of water and I still feel the peanut butter stuck in my throat. | My attempt at cheating on my diet ended in a near-death experience which makes me want to jump right back into the diet. |
t3_13by7g | AskReddit | What's the weirdest thing you've been afraid of? | For myself I'd have to say vinegar is the weirdest thing I have ever been afraid of, the reason why being this: When I was about seven or so I had head lice (which I probably got from one of the kids at church) and mom heard from a friend that vinegar would kill the nasty little things, so she decided to put vinegar on my head and left me to sit in the bathroom with a shower cap over my vinegar soaked hair...no more than five minutes pass and I'm screaming in agony because it's stinging and burning and my face turned the brightest shade of red possible for human skin. Turns out I'm allergic to vinegar. and for the longest time I was irrationally (or perhaps rationally) terrified of the substance.
Now for some reason I don't have the same physical reaction to vinegar and I love cooking with it, but it took a while for me to get over my fear of it. | Mom used vinegar to kill head lice, and I turned out to be allergic. |
t3_ru58w | relationships | Molested as a kid, but don't feel that it's affected me. Should I disclose to the SO? | Both 19/F, it's about 2 months until we've been together for 2 years.
Hi r/relationships,
When I was very young (~5 yrs old?), I was molested by a kid of similar age. I was so young that I didn't even know it was wrong until I told my mom afterwards and she told me not to let that happen again.
I don't feel psychologically affected at all by the incident, it's just a distant memory to me. My question is, should I be disclosing this to my SO? I don't feel that I'm lying to her by not talking about it, but I do feel a bit guilty that it seems like I'm "hiding" a part of myself from her. I'm also afraid that she might feel at fault for it even though it has nothing to do with her, since sometimes when I am upset and she cannot cheer me up, she'll start to get upset about being unable to help. (I'm the type of person that just needs to sit around alone for a while and I'll be fine).
Thanks in advance. | Molested as a kid, but don't feel that it's affected me. Should I disclose to the SO? |
t3_3co46i | relationships | Me [24 M] with a [18 F] gf of 9 months, Saw/instantly fell in love with the perfect women in Den Hague, how the hell do you deal with that? | So I had to go to Den Hague for my education a few days ago and after the meeting I decided to stroll around and explore what is beautiful little city in the Netherlands home to the national government. When I traversed to the Binnenhof (national government) I saw you could go down a little stairs below a little church that is on the premise. While walking down, time suddenly slowed down.
I saw what I can only be describe as the perfect women I have ever seen, walking up the stairs with an older man explaining and talking perhaps guiding her, she about my age, long curly golden blonde hair with piercing blue eyes that absolutely destroyed me. We had eye contact, she smiled a beautiful smile, I smiled back, passed her, then moments later I looked back only finding out her looking back again, her even turning around. Down the stairs was a glass door, Now for a final time I again saw her looking back at me while I, unbeknown to her, was staring at her from the reflection of the glass door. Then after what felt like an eternity she walked away.
The thing is, I have a girlfriend. She is still somewhat young but you would never be able to tell from her looks, behavior or intelligence. She looks good, although I'm better looking than her. She is smart, although I'm smarter than her. I'm happy, I love her, I trust her entirely and can see a very nice future together.
And this is what destroyed. For the rest of the day I was broken. Here was a the perfect women and she was into me, but all I could do was stare at her reflection. Normally I'm shy but if didn't had a girlfriend I would not have doubted a second and asked her out. I have seen and met a fair share of women in my live, never have I experienced anything near what I felt now. It felt right at that point my live could have taken a completely different turn, changed entirely. | I have fallen in love with someone else in a mere second. |
t3_dzigi | AskReddit | Reddit: Please help me settle an argument with my boyfriend about the Rally. | UPDATE: Thanks guys. I will now apologize to eminently reasonable-and-healthily-skeptical-Boyfriend by sending him this link. :)
__________________________________________
I've been a redditor for many years, and though I seldom post or comment I love this community. Over time, I've developed an attachment to this place that I think many of you probably feel as well. So, it was with a great deal of smugness that I told my boyfriend (who is probably sick of hearing "Today on Reddit...") that the Rally was Reddit's idea.
To my eternal horror, he did not respond with blind enthusiasm and a "Reddit's SO AWESOME!" Instead, he tried to school me on the distinctions between causality and correlation. "Just because they came up with the idea too doesn't mean Jon and Stephen weren't already planning it." (He's a law student. Can you tell?) I've sent him the link to Stephen's awesome meme-filled note. I sent him a link to a Forbes blog post talking about the whole thing. He says that until he sees something from Stephen/Jon/Comedy Central specifically saying that they got the idea from Reddit, he won't believe it.
I must win. Please help. Are there any posts/videos/news stories where Comedy Central confirms this? I know it's too obvious to even need confirmation, but I'm hoping there's some out there. | I would like to prove, conclusively, to my skeptical boyfriend that Comedy Central/Stewart/Colbert got the Rally idea from Reddit. |
t3_1d1czz | relationships | My girlfriend [21] has slept with 12 guys, 13 counting myself. | Okay, so here's the deal. This girl [21] and I [21] met about 3 months ago, and we've been dating for 2 months. She's perfect- the most perfect girl whom I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. She feels the same way about me.
Before we had sex, by her request, we waited a month. I thought nothing of it, and I happily complied. Little did I know that this was actually a sort of road bump for her to ensure that I wasn't one of the guys like she'd been with in the past. And therein lies the issue: She's been with 12 guys. I'm really struggling with this concept, having only been with 4 women myself. This was about a year and a half ago- she was in a rough place. Prior to me, she dated a guy who was celibate, meaning that prior to me, she hadn't had sex in about 9 months. Prior to that, however, was when she was apparently promiscuous. Reddit, what can I do to reconcile that she is no longer that girl anymore, and is faithful to me? | Current girlfriend revealed that she has slept with 12 other men and I'm not sure if I can trust her, or that she's really changed. |
t3_vlzrx | jobs | Reddit, I'm in the middle of my college degree and still haven't been able to find a job during the summer, even though it's very very important I do. Advice? | I've been looking for a summer job since May, but nowadays jobs don't want to see you or hear from you until they've decided on interviewing you. Most of my ability to get a job came from being personable, but all applications are done online now. I attribute this to being the main reason I couldn't find a job.
I had summer classes until last Friday, now I'm sitting at home STILL without a job, and I don't know who would hire me knowing I wouldn't be available in a month and a half.
I've re-applied to all the places that expired and started searching Craigslist...sent out a few emails there too.
Are there any insider tips you guys know of for maybe a temp job? Any kind of income is good, I don't mind if I'm scrubbing toilets or only working for a day and then finding another gig, I have to have money to pay for food and stuff at school, or I don't go next year. | I need to find a job that will only want me until school starts again in August. |
t3_29j12g | books | I want to love to read again. But it still feels forced. | Hello everyone!
A bit of a background: I'm a 26-year-old American who moved to Montreal, partly to improve my French. I basically "started over" -- I started exercising, quit my old gig and got a job, and so on. I also started trying to read more.
I just got a new Kindle Paperwhite 2. I downloaded books in English and French (by the way, the Amazon.ca site is so much worse than Amazon.com ...), I checked some out of the local libraries, but I still don't feel as "into" books as I was when I was younger (before college). I don't know if it was college that killed the desire to read for me or if I simply got out of the habit, but before, I would find and tear through tons of books (mostly novels). Not many of the classics, just good novels (YA and 'adult').
I want to improve my French, so I've read a few books in French, but I've also read books in English. When I sit down to read, I feel antsy. I find it hard to get into the story, and I keep feeling the need to take breaks more often than I should.
I know this is a by-product of the Internet ("information pornography"). Someone likened it to being a 'hungry ghost' searching from tab to tab for new and exciting brain stimulation.
I'm trying to focus. Maybe I'm trying too hard? I could try some short stories, but finding short stories or books I want to read is proving a bit difficult (especially in French ... there are almost no exciting-looking contemporary French books).
Has anyone had this happen to them? What did they do to fix it? Do I need to cut off my internet access at home? (I work in web development so no go on no internet at work.) Do I cut down video game time? | I'm having trouble staying focus and "loving" reading like I once did. Tips? |
t3_h9ixz | AskReddit | ...and I'm suddenly a dad! Any advice for a new, first time father? | Pretty wild day: My lady woke up for the third day in a row with a nasty migraine... double vision kicked in so we went to the hospital (week 34). They announced they were going to have to operate and bam! 45 minutes later I was staring at my son!
The hospital was pretty packed and my wife is sharing room. No room for new dad, hence why I am on reddit trying to digest what just happened. My son is in the premature sector, healthy, but being monitored closely. I'm still in shock.
What sort of advice could you offer a new dad? | Give a new pop some good tips and advice! |
t3_132qka | relationship_advice | [23/m] Becoming increasingly paranoid about my somewhat-long-distance relationship of 9 months. Halp. | She [23/f] lives only about an hour and a half away. But I work an 8-5 and she works on the weekends and has school during the week so we usually only see each other once a week, she lives with her parents who don't want my scrub ass staying over so it's not uncommon for us to only get to spend the evening together on our visits. Any way, for the past month or so she's been very vocally depressed, for 'no reason in particular' as she puts it. We've gotten in more fights in the past two months than ever in the 6-7 months prior. Her demeanor which was previously gushing and affectionate has become more sterile and utilitarian, although she doesn't outright ignore me that I can tell. I make it a point daily to try and romance her a bit but she seems largely indifferent.
She's been slacking super hard in her school work too, which I think lends itself to legitimate depression. I want to know how best to facilitate her during these times (she says she's prone to them occasionally, but that they pass, and this is the first I've seen it since we've been together). When we're actually together, a lot of the awkwardness seems to dissolve and everything feels the same as it ever has. She seems less and less motivated to make any kind of plans though and can't seem to be bothered to pay me much attention when I'm not in her direct vicinity.
This being my first major relationship, I know I'm likely making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I have some bad habits that cause me to jump at shadows and despite her words to the contrary I just worry. | How do I accomodate my depressed (long-distance) SO, and how do I keep myself from taking it so personally and freaking out? |
t3_4idpmj | relationships | Me [22 M] hurting after learning ex [22 F] of 5 years got engaged. Help. | I'm not having any feelings of wanting to reopen that relationship or feeling like she got away. I still hurt though?? like what the hell? The thought of her doesn't feel warm and familiar anymore its like thinking about stranger, and yet it was like a gut punch?
We broke about a year ago and I started seeing someone for the first time in October of last year. I don't live the most exciting life but I'm happier than I've been in a long time.
Truthfully we were always wrong for each other, I just didn't fit into her world and most everyone we knew was surprised we became a couple. love and sacrifice made it last 5 years but it shouldn't have gone more than 2. it's amazing the perspective you get on your own life with time.
I just don't know how to comprehend what I'm feeling and I don't want to go to my friends because I know they used to put up with me when we first broke up.
Pls halp | ex-gf engaged and it hurts even though i don't want her? |
t3_2x62pk | tifu | TIFU by buying a pop. | I am a in school to be an automotive mechanic. As such, I have problems with over thinking what I'm dealing with.
Now, our vending machines are notoriously misbehaved. The pop can machine used to cycle through the options regardless of what you chose. All three tend to eat coins or items.
Today, I ordered a doctor pepper. It made vending sounds, didn't dispense, and blinked "SOLD". I got annoyed, whacked it, and swore. My teacher standing nearby just called the company and I walked away thirsty.
Fast forward an hour, a tech comes to check on the machine. He repeats the process I did, and the machine does the same thing. Except while I watch it, this time it blinks "SOLD"
"...OUT."
"Did you try the coin return?" he says as he opens the machine. He hands me my money and I try again.
I mumbled something about it not working when I pushed it and walked away with my Coke of shame. | Pop machine was being lame, guess I was to blame. |
t3_4gb4m7 | relationships | I (25/f) am afraid to tell SO (27/m) I love him | I've been dating my SO for almost a year now. He was upfront when we started dating that he wasn't sure if he wanted a serious relationship and I told him that is what I was looking for. We have never strictly defined the relationship. It's always awkward when we scoot around the terms bf and gf. We have established that we are exclusively dating and not seeing anyone else. I know he cares about me, but I'm terrified that if I tell him I love him (I've known for months) that it will push him away or make him feel rushed. We agreed not to rush into anything, but it kills me every time I don't say it. I hoped that he would say something first, but he hasn't yet. I can't go any longer without telling him, but we live a good distance away from each other and it will be days until I see him again. I don't want to say it over the phone or by text, but I can never bring up the courage to say it in person. Help! | I'm afraid saying ILY will push him away |
t3_4i8mi7 | tifu | TIFU By Dropping All of My Belongings into the Toilet | So earlier this weekend I was off for my nightly shower. Usually when I take my shower I'll put all of my things onto the toilet seat while I'm showering. I walk in to the bathroom and turn on the water to warm up. As I'm sitting by the bathtub waiting for the water to warm up, I was browsing reddit on my phone and didn't realize the toilet seat was up. I took off my glasses and felt the edge of the seat so, instead of putting them on the toilet seat like I thought, I proceeded to drop them in the toilet. Because the water was running, I didn't hear it drop. I then proceeded to take off my necklace and drop that in, followed by my bracelet. Finally, I closed my phone and proceeded to drop that in the toilet.
At this point, I still hadn't realized I'd dropped anything into a toilet bowl, so I got in the shower to (low and behold) shower. As I step out of the shower I look down to see a pile of my belongings sitting in the toilet for what's now been 15 mins. I immediately take all of my stuff out, but alas my phone wouldn't work. I put it into a bowl of rice, but after a day, not only did a grain of rice get stuck in the charging port, but it's beyond shot and I've had to drop $200 on a new one (that's with insurance). Needless to say, I won't be putting my things on the toilet seat anymore | I didn't realize the toilet seat was up and dropped my things one by one into the toilet without realizing it. Then the rice taunted me by jamming itself in my charging port. $200 later and I finally have repaired my phone. |
t3_36bt8j | tifu | [NSFW] TIFU by having phone sex. | Friday, I went to my mom's house to spend the weekend. This isn't unusual, and stayed until this morning. During this time, I don't usually talk to my boyfriend much because our conversations generally aren't safe for ulta-conservative, religious parents, and he works on the weekends, so I didn't hear much from him anyways.
Fast forward to last night. He and I were lying in bed, and the mood struck, so we got a little graphic about things we'd like to do to each other, as well as a friend of ours. While I have this going on, I keep the phone pressed between my ear and the pillow, and the blanket drawn up high, so it appears that I'm asleep.
Except that I didn't turn off the lights, and I wasn't facing the door.
So after I told my boyfriend exactly how much I'd like to fuck *her*, I hear the chain on my ceiling fan click and the lights go off.
I quickly turned my answers to sounds that could be mistaken as grunts, and waited a good twenty minutes to get up and check the light. Yep, it still turns on.
Immediately I start panicking.
So I went back to bed, and when I got up this morning, the *very first thing* I hear from Mom is, "Good morning! I turned off the lights for you, since you were asleep."
Oh. *Wheh*.
Followed by:
"I thought your SO was a boy?" | Religious and stupidly conservative Mom walked in on me having phone sex and talking about screwing a girl. |
t3_11vrno | AskReddit | So I'm waiting for my roommate at the ER, and had a weird/hilarious/horrific experience in the waiting room. What's the weirdest ER experience you've had? | So I drove my roommate to the ER for possibly breaking his shoulder, and while waiting, two random guys come in off the street. They both seem messed up on something, and the one guy tells the person behind the desk he just needs to used the bathroom, and tells the guy he walked in with to wait at the entrance for him. So he proceeds to walk into the bathroom and stays in there for about 15 minutes. The security guy looks bewildered, but I guess they let anyone come into use the bathroom, so he just accepts it. I assume huge guy in the bathroom is doing some kind of drug in there, as he flushed the toilet almost 10 minutes before leaving the bathroom. He finally leaves, screaming for his friend to follow him. A few seconds go by, and I'm hit with what smells like a Taco Bell dumpster filled with old diapers/used tampons. I immediately wanted to die. What freaks me out the most is that he flushed the toilet well before leaving, so a lot of that stink probably came from his presumedly unwiped ass. | Some random dude stunk up the waiting room in an ER with his terrible dump, and most likely didn't wipe. |
t3_kqobn | AskReddit | What is the best thing a friend has ever done for you? | Inspired by this thread :
What is the BEST thing or a really great thing a friend or friend(s) have done for you?
One day I saw my ex-girlfriend, she begged me to stay the night at her house. I really didn't want to, and I knew my parents wouldn't let me because they hated her guts. But I thought it would be fun and that I should give it a shot. There was no way my parents would say yes, so I told my dad I was staying over at my friend's house for a party and that in the morning we were going to a volunteer place. He didn't believe me so he wanted more proof. I asked my friend if he would confirm it for my dad. He DID, he called him, told him the entire plan, how the party was going on till late, how I'd sleep at his house for the night and we'd go the volunteer place in the morning. My parents bought it.
It was a shitty ass night, and it was not worth it. My parents found out I lied to them, and were pretty upset with my friend as they had high trust in him. Even though it was my fault, and I confessed to my parents, he's still my friend. | My very reliable and trustworthy friend lied to my parents for me. |
t3_1cw3ai | AskReddit | Proposal advice | I recently got hired after waiting almost a year and want to propose to my longterm SO. I would like to do it next month for certain reasons. The problem is that her parents live out of state. I cannot afford timewise to fly to them to ask them for her hand before I would like do it. Would her dad be offended if I spoke to him over the phone? Should I wait until I can meet with him in person, or would speaking with him over the phone be alright?
Her brother has mentioned to me that her dad would obviously appreciate a face to face more... but I simply will not be able to do it before I would like to propose. | Ask her out of state dad for her hand via phone, or wait until I can meet with him in person? |
t3_eya6s | AskReddit | I think i need some motivation | Well here's the story. I recently just came back from college and I've decided not to return [The money isn't just there for me right now] and I'm currently trying to get a job to help out my mom with some of the debt i got going off to a private university.
I'm going to be turning 20 this year and most of my formal work experience is freelance computer work so my resume is pretty much barren. On top of that, I'm trying to fill my days by trying to lose weight. I got a gym membership with my mom and she's been trying to push me to go as often as her [five times a week] but I'm not one to listen to anything from family [Family and i are about as compatible as optic fiber in a coaxial plug.] As you could guess also, I'm single and i pretty much gave up on looking for someone in my current condition. [Borderline depression]
So, i ask of you reddit. What should i do to motivate myself? | I'm bordering on depression due to my life and i need some help motivating myself to turn this plane around. |
t3_4vxycg | relationships | My mother's [40sF] boyfriend [40sM] insulted me [18F] | My mother and her boyfriend have been dating for around a year now, they work together so have to keep their relationship private otherwise they both face getting fired, even though they don't live together he's over for 2 hours Monday to Wednesday and stays over Thursday night to Sunday morning.
I've been very actively looking for a job but keep facing knockbacks, I'm receiving unemployment so im able to pay rent (was $100 but was recently increased to 150 for "necessary items" a fortnight.) I'm also able to buy groceries and have enough money to get to and from my employment agency and any interviews.
I feel as though her boyfriend has some kind of hatred towards me that I just don't understand, he makes frequent rude comments about me but tonight was the breaking point.
I was discussing with my mum what I should change so I don't keep facing setbacks, he spoke over me pretty much saying that I won't be able to get a job because all I do is stay at home all day (which is completely untrue, I'm currently completing a certificate at my employment agency and I job search a few days a week, I take a day or two off to relax so I'm not overworking myself.) he kept on going with nasty comments about how I'll amount to nothing, etc then said that if my mum loses her job I'll be responsible for paying 100% of the mortgage, bills, food, after saying that I'll never get a job. I became so angry I just started crying and walked away, in the meantime my mum was just sitting there laughing.
Saying something wouldn't work as my mother would instantly take his side.
I'm unsure of what to do here, please help. | Mum's boyfriend made nasty comments, not sure how to proceed. |
t3_1q5urg | relationships | I [18 M] left my friend [18 F] in the dust with no one. | I was her crutch while she was going through tough times with her family...I also helped her on how to handle her long-distance boyfriend who was really bummed that he was going to different colleges than her | She destroyed lost lasting relationships with careing people for the sake of a new guy and new sex, now her friends left her and so did I (one of her closest friends).* |
t3_2y95ka | tifu | TIFU by zombie walking in front of a police car | So this happened a couple months ago, but as a long time lurker, I feel that this should be my first post :)
My brother and I were chilling at a local school late on a Saturday night I believe. (Can't remember why we opted on posting up at a school) For some reason I decided to start zombie walking around with my mask on. Every car that came by I would do this weird zombie walk on the side of the road because I had nothing better to do. Later, we see a car pulling through the parking lot and I repeat the same process. But, this time, little did we know it was a police car. (It was dark, gosh :p)
So, I do a zombie walk with my werewolf mask on, and sure enough as it passed by I realized it was a police car. Gut "Oh Shit" feeling comes on. My brother was behind me and for some reason decided to duck into an alleyway near the school. (He didn't know it was a police car as well and opted on hiding from the car) Police officer gets out and has us both stand on the curb. (He called backup so a second cruiser comes racing in oddly quick) He then proceeds to search the area where my brother ducked in for a couple minutes because I guess he thought he was trying to hide drugs. (We don't do drugs) This was before, like me, he realized it was a police car. So my brother and I just stand on the curb laughing to ourselves while this hilarious search goes on, and the two cars who unfortunately could be stopping far more prominent crimes (Though our town is essentially crimeless :p)
They let us go after 10 minutes, and the backup police officer joked with me and advised me not to be wearing a mask around in public, at night, on the streets, at a school. So, that is the first time we have been ever "stopped" by the police. | Brother and I were at a local school late at night, I zombie walked in front of a police car with a mask on, police thought brother was hiding drugs |
t3_50poom | relationships | Me [20 M], I think I might have an alcohol addiction | Sup guys, most of my life I spend my years playing World of Warcraft blasting my favorite metal and rock music and do some Player versus Player in the game while I am in my room pretty much everyday whenever I came home from school.
If you aren't familiar with that, it's okay but right now I have left my previous nerd life behind since I wanted to meet new people, get a girlfriend and stuff.
But really, I'm anxious and insecure as hell. There is always this one voice in the back of my head who does its best to make me feel worthless and weak.
Don't know how I ended up like this. When I was a kid I loved to take risks, explore new things and meet new people and now I always think of the consequences and that I shouldn't take risks. I guess I'm comforted to my surroundings and am afraid to change it.
So yeah I discovered alcohol and whenever I consume (I don't really have to get drunk or tipsy, just get that warm feeling), all my anxiety goes away and I feel like I am ready to take every challenge head on and conquer the world.
I'm usually not the talker, I was drinking with some girl who hasn't seen me drunk and she said "wow you usually say maybe 5 lines a night, I always thought you were boring but you seem like a fun and interesting guy"
Really, alcohol helps with my anxiety. I stop caring about what other people think of me, I can talk with anyone about any subject and my witty remarks are funny.
And the funny guy I become when I'm drunk is the next day the worthless, weak and pathetic guy that is even too afraid to talk to the people he met when he was drunk because of anxiety. I can't even OPEN texts of girls on my phone the next day when I'm sober because of my anxiety. Seriously...
No one really knows of this really, not even my family or my best friend. I don't have anxiety around him so he can't find out. | Alcohol helps me wash my anxiety and insecurities away, people have told me I am a funny and interesting guy when I'm drunk, but straight out boring when I'm sober, the voice inside my head that tells me I'm weak and worthless goes away whenever I consume alcohol and it makes me feel alive again |
t3_uynof | AskReddit | Building our first home in Northeast Ohio, and it has been a nightmare. What options do we have to finish our home? | My wife and I moved out to Northeast Ohio in January 2011. We signed a contract with a reputable home builder in June, 2011 with a delivery date of November 2011.
Through a bunch of missed promises from the home builder, and outright lies, our home was finally started in November of 2011 with a completion date slated for April 2012. We built in penalties to our contract that stated the builder would pay for our interest only construction loan, if we were to go past the 4/12 date. It has been almost 2 months of the breach, we have not received any payment from the builder.
To top it off, I just found out somehow the builder convinced the bank that the 10% deposit we put down direct to the builder ( our mistake looking back) that was supposed to go towards the purchase of our lot, was kept by the builder. He is not making any progress on other homes in the area, and we are unable to receive any response from anyone in the office.
I have priced out completion of the home, with other builders in the area, using the same sub contractions, and am coming up 10% short of their asking prices, due to this.
Any advice or direction, or similar experiences would help. I'm at my wits end, and have started the process to engage a lawyer, BUT the home builder obviously has no money left on their end. | Broke homebuilder stole my money, and isn't making any progress towards completing my home... |
t3_2vzarz | relationships | Me [19 F] and my bf [21 M] taking a break after 1yr+. How do I respect the distance (aka going back to being friends temporarily) without breaking down? | We're both at a difficult college. He's a senior with a job, already working part-time while at school, and I'm a sophomore. We've been together for more than a year and he decided that we should take a break.
I wanted to spend more time with him (aka: was a bit too clingy) (admittedly interrupting him when he was doing schoolwork) even though we both don't particularly have time so he decided we should take a break. I didn't want to and currently it's the first day and I'm depressed as shit. I can't stop crying, I don't want to eat, I need to do work, and I'm on reddit asking for help... I know it's a break, not a break up, but my heart won't accept it. I love him and he says he loves me, but it's really hard and I need advice. Also, we have dance rehearsal together that we can't miss, but I don't know how to act around him! | Taking a break, I understand that we need one, but I'm dying. How do I act around him? How can we be "just friends" without me breaking down? |
t3_2n549v | relationships | I [23M] am incredibly worried about my close friend [25F]. I fear she's heading for disaster. | She's married. Her marriage wasn't satisfactory, for her husband never romanced her much. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He's tried, but it's not easy for him to do it at all.
Due to the lack of romance, my friend began to stray. She began to seek attention and affection from elsewhere. She found it in his best friend, who is married to another woman. It's worth noting here that his marriage with her isn't perfect, but there is love in that marriage. My friend has already told me that. I know you might be tempted to call her a homewrecker, but the facts of the case are that he approaches her more than she approaches him. It's also worth noting that she's a lot more attractive than his wife.
The reason I'm concerned about her is because I believe that it takes a special kind of evil to romance the wife of your best friend while you're already happy with your own wife. He's betraying the trust of two people who are close to him... who he leads to believe that he is close with. This man is obviously a bad man. He's wooing my friend for his own satisfaction. If he cares so little about betraying the trust of two people who trust him so much, I find it hard to believe that he won't eventually cut my friend out of his life.
As long as she continues with this man, I fear for her. I need advice. What do I do? How do I stop her from continuing down a path that is likely to destroy her? | She's having an emotional affair with a guy whom I am convinced to be a bad man. |
t3_3tbm01 | relationships | Asked a girl(18) out, she said no. I'm(M18) somewhat relieved, but how do I play it now? | [Previous Post](
So, as per the advice of Reddit, I asked this girl out. I laid foundation over the course of the week, and asked her out two days ago. She said no.
I liked this girl, but upon her rejection, I felt little sadness; my overwhelming feeling was one of relief. This next bit might make me unpopular, but this year was meant to be about me getting good grades, and no that this is out the way, I feel about 10 pounds lighter.
Now she's a nice girl, but of course there will be awkwardness. I'm just wondering how I play this now? She won't like call me out on it, but I feel like rides home aren't a good idea anymore. As cynical as you guys may find this, I think I should phase her out. Again, I would need advice on how to do this. | I've always been a bit of a loner. Now that this girl has rejected me, I feel as though I can go back to normal me. How do I phase her out? Or is this too harsh? |
t3_14asco | relationship_advice | How do I(25f) tell bff (28M) that I want space? | My roommate, myself, and our friend W went to college together and were in the same group of friends for the 3-ish so years there. We loved each other, had a great time, and although we didn't move from the metroplex, we are about 30ish minutes away from each other so we don't see each other every day like we could have.
W has been in and out of school for 9 years. He doesn't know what he wants to do. He's a very carefree kinda guy. He's a real good person, genuine, and our social butterfly. We love him. I love him because in college, when I didn't have a car, he would provide it for me and that kindness I would never forget. He was a buddy to talk to and be honest with.
Well, it's been three years since we've graduated. Roommate and I have jobs and we work a 40ish hour wk. W is still in school, flittering about doing who knows what. However, every time we hang out or talk to him nowadays (which is rare, maybe thrice every two months), we have nothing to talk about. He loves hanging out with us. But roommate&I are in different points in our lives at the moment and honestly, we can't say the same. We get irritated when we're around him. We have a hard time relating to him bc he's in school and we're not. We work a full time job, and he always wants to hang out when we just want to veg at the end of the day (he has never had a full time job). We have a different social circle now, ones we did not have in college. He's an 18 y/d stuck in a 30ish y/o body. It does bother me that he's so carefree and as much as I tell him that's going to hurt his future, he doesn't listen and waves me off. | Basically, because I know this will come up with the fierce attachment that he has to us, how can we gently let him know that we want space? He's a little clingy at the moment. I still want to be friends with him, roommate could care less. But I need space. I've tried being honest with him but he just doesn't get it. |
t3_4rdn4r | relationships | Me [24 m] missing my first ex [21 f] after 5 months of break up. | Hello Reddit
Just throwing this post out there just to let it out of my system.
So I have been dating this girl (my first girlfriend. I was her first) for 3 years. We had an awesome time and sometimes rough ups and downs. In the end, it didn't work out.
I knew I loved her and she loved me but things just didn't work out due to both separate reasons.
So it has been almost 5 months. I got over the hardest time of my life which was post break up of first 2 months.
Now after 5 months, I just miss her.
I guess there hasn't been a single where I haven't thought about her yet. lol
I know I shouldn't contact her and I'm pretty sure she won't contact me either which is for the better.
We haven't spoken for maybe 2 months? something like that.
Yesterday, I just couldn't handle it anymore and looked at our photos on my google photos which I never get on.
It was nice to see her face again and reminisce the old days.
It was nice to see the dogs we both love now living with her family.
Throughout all 5 months, my career picked up. I got a promotion
saved up a lot of money and did things around the house I haven't been able to etc etc.
But I just miss her.
I know she's doing well, probably better than before.
Is it just me?
Anyway thanks for your time reading this and appreciate your comments. | Missing my first ex girlfriend after break up. It has been almost 5 months and my life has picked up after the post break up. Any advice on how to get over this situation? |
t3_3a7wmp | relationships | My [25F] second breakup. What is the protocol for wishing my live-in ex [25M] a happy birthday? It's today. | Back in April, my live-in ex decided to end things after months of "incompatibility." We were together for 3 years and have been living together for 2-1/2. We had our share of ups and downs, however we were struggling with trust, honesty, communication and everything else that made a relationship work. Towards the end, I found myself working hard to keep things together, and lashing out due to frustration. I felt like I was alone in keeping our relationship together. On his end, he was completely checked out, staying later at work, hanging out until 3am with a certain female co-worker, and contacting me less and less.
When it ended, I felt a sense of relief. Freedom from something that I knew deep down wouldn't work out. Yet I can't really move on since we still live together and sleep in the same bed. It has been a hard journey to rebuild myself since then, but I'm slowly building up my life. Or at least trying to… We've had a few lapses in our breakup since April. There were several moments when I thought we were still together. And then there were moments of absolute NC. I haven't been with any other guy since, but I've met new people and reconnected with friends I lost from this relationship.
A week ago, after our longest period of NC and sleeping in separate areas of our studio, all the while I actively met new people and came home after midnight, he started talking to me again. Two days ago, he was overly friendly and attention hungry. I caved. He's very good company when he wants to be. Talking led to tickling, which led to sex, which led to goodnight kisses on the cheek… And that was that. He barely said a word to me yesterday, and today is his birthday. What do I do, Reddit? I rushed out of the apartment this morning and said "see ya later." | I'm confused if I should wish my live-in ex a 'happy birthday' and/or get him a gift. He broke it off, although I didn't want it to end. We're still living together, and two days ago, we slept together. |
t3_123d5e | AskReddit | "It says I just parked like the worlds biggest douche!" What's the funniest thing you've been a part of recently? | I just went to the dentist and this dude in a truck was parked halfway in his handicap spot (for which a had a placard) and halfway in the spot over. There was a ton of parking spaces to choose from, but I said fuck that! Quickly, I scribbled on a piece of paper: CONGRATULATIONS! You just parked like the worlds biggest douche! Being the puss that I am I made sure the coast was clear then attached it to his windshield via the wiper blades.
After my dentist appointment I surely thought the guy would be gone. I even began to feel like a bit of a dick, but to hell with that. As I'm walking out I lo and behold this guy is **just getting into his car.** Naturally I don't acknowledge him except out of the corner of my eye, but I actually see him grab the note, and as I'm passing I hear him say to his passenger "It says I'm the worlds biggest douche!" Then he tears it up and speeds off.
I had to share this as soon as possible, and my wife is working until later tonight. What are some funny situations you've been a part of recently? | Guy parks like butt hole, I tell him he did. |
t3_21jjkt | relationships | I [20 M] am thinking that abuse issues is messing with my ability to trust others and sometimes my SO [21 F] | I grew up in a family where maybe 1 of my 2 parents were around at any given time. To deal with this and other hardships, my mother turned to physically beating me.
Years later and with continuation, I finally came clean as visible bruises rose questions at school. The family went to counseling where my mom denied everything and my dad abandoned me because of this "lie" .. I was hated in my family.
Eventually my mom came out and since then, we've been trying to fix things, but I cannot trust my mother or my father. I have developed a fear of being abandoned and though I love my SO, sometimes I feel I am around too much because she's the only person I can rely on (usually).
Though we've had trust issues, the main source of my trust issues with people who say they love me is from my parents. I know that she loves me as she's still with me and we're pretty serious. Even though I know she loves me, our past issues and my general disbelief that I could be loved and trust someone who loves me gets in the way sometimes. In general I feel like I'm a decent enough boyfriend to her, but this is definitely an issue. | Abuse and parental issues affecting trust issues with girlfriend more than they should? |
t3_4saxzx | relationship_advice | (24/f) dealing with personal insecurities within an LDR open relationship with (24/m). How can it be done right? | Throwaway for obvious reasons. After accepting a job abroad, my boyfriend and I decided to do long distance. My contract with the company is 2 years, and I have been working and living over 8000 miles away from him for about 6 months now. I had always been against LDRs unless they are short term, but figured I would give it a shot. He has been nothing but supportive and loving, and recently we discussed and decided that we should try to do an open relationship. It was actually my idea, because I know that we both need to blow off some sexual steam. He also brought up that he thinks maybe we can casually date others as well.
The issue is that I am in theory 100% okay with this because we are young and we should be having fun, but I also get so worried that if we do this, we are just setting ourselves up for a failed relationship because we are so far away. He has many more opportunities for casual sex and casual dating than I do, because he is in the States and I am working in a very small town in Central Asia with no nightlife and a different culture, so that takes a toll on my self esteem. I already have feelings of jealousy now that we have made this an open relationship; jealous that he will have opportunities and I will not, and that it will be a one-sided open relationship and that's no fun. And do we tell each other about our new partners? Not sure what I feel more comfortable with. I also worry that he will fall for someone else even though he says that he is 'mature and can separate sex from intimacy". We have not yet established 'rules' because I am still apprehensive about this even though I rather have an open relationship for this amount of time rather than being sexually frustrated and lonely in the physical sense. If you have experience with this, what did you do to make it work? What types of rules did you establish? | In a long distance relationship turned open-relationship. We both want this, but he has more opportunities for casual fun than I do. Fear of a one-sided open relationship, fear that he will fall for someone else; don't want my self esteem to go to shit. |
t3_1mfxcx | self | I don't know who I am or what my path in life is... | I am now a freshman in college, and I really was expecting a different experience.
At first I talked to people, I even got a girls number while we were doing laundry. But now I'm so bent out of shape. I just don't do things the same way other people do, and I feel sometimes like a poor human being, but sometimes like a fish being compared to a fox.
Everyone else has a group of friends already; lots of guys talking to girls, lots of people getting together and partying. I've just been hanging out with my "best-friend" (my roommate) and people we already knew from our home town. My problem is that the other people we hang out with were people my friend already knew for awhile. And, apparently, he likes them more. Long story short, he treats me very poorly now in front of them.
So I haven't met people and my best friend doesn't seem to really like me. So what do I do? I'm going to join clubs but it's really hard for me because I don't feel like other people. Where do I draw the line of "that's something I need to change about myself" and "why should I do what everyone else does"? There's a huge worry in my head that I won't live life the way I should, and that I'll end up alone or disliked forever. | Just started college, no friends, my best friend is drifting away fast, how do I figure out who I am so I can do the things I like to without feeling like they're the wrong things to do? |
t3_1y5an3 | relationships | my girlfriend [19f] of almost four years told me [19m] that shes not happy. | So the other day I got off work and went to hang with a friend while she was hanging with her friend and she texts me telling me we need to talk. I get all worried because our relationship is great and I love her so much. Well it turns out she says she isn't happy. Now, her friend who she hung out with came into town from college, and now my girlfriend is getting these ideas about going to a different college to meet new people and find something new. She doesn't have many friends and spends most of her time with me which I am okay with.
I lived with her and woke up to her every day and we love eachother. We talked yesterday about it and she says she just needs her space for now but I dont know what that means because I packed all of my stuff up and moved back in with my parents and she is still saying she needs time. About a week ago we were looking at apartments to move into together (we also looked months ago) and now she is saying she isn't happy? How can somebody go from making a commitment to get an apartment with their SO to breaking up with them a week later. Now this is totally random that she is doing this. Things have been good and we only bicker and fight on occasion but make up directly afterwards. It totally caught me off guard and I have been majorly depressed the last few days. Do you guys think she is going through a phase where she is confused about what she wants, or is it maybe just time to move on. We have never had a genuine break up like this before and I am very scared. | girlfriend of 4 years randomly tells me she's not happy after we looked for apartments together under a week ago. Wants space/break. |
t3_505g19 | relationships | My bf [30M] prefers his own company to spending time with me [24F] | My boyfriend and I spent 4 nights a week together and he recently broke up with me stating he needs his own space. We are trying to work things out again but he's adamant he likes a lot of time alone.
It's really knocked my confidence, I dream of moving in together which would be 7 nights a week and he barely seems interested in any. He's not romantic as its not his thing, he doesn't plan anything as he's worried it would be bad and now he continues to push alone time as he prefers it to having company.
Yet with all this alone time he wanted for example today he is seeing a friend or he will spend his time with family. So I feel like it's not alone time he wants, he just doesn't want to spend time with me. Am I wrong in thinking couples spend time together? He doesn't think we should book the same days off work together to do stuff. He didn't want to go the opticians together (I wanted help picking out my glasses as they are on my face everyday) as he goes with his mom.
I feel like I'm worthless and boring. I imagined spending my life with someone not constantly being pushed away. He says he loves me, he's just use to having a lot of time alone. Is this normal? How often do you see your SO? | my boyfriend has drastically cut down our time together as he likes his alone time, how should I feel about this? |
t3_1pkfun | relationships | Me [29 M] with my ex [26 F] 4 years, dumped me 3 and a bit months ago. advice needed. | so she dumped me just over 3 months ago. i NC it for a while, her birthday was 30th aug and i text her birthday wishes, we text back and forth for a couple of days then she said she didnt want to give me the wrong idea and stopped texting.
then around 3 weeks ago i text her and she text back a few times again, then said it was still too soon for her. The thing is it was my birthday last week and her mum messaged me wishing me well. then her best friend phoned me and wished me happy birthday. weird thing is that she knew exactly what i was doing and where i lived etc. so obviously the ex is still talking about me with them.
i feel like i want to try again with her
any ideas on how to go about this?
she lives in london and i live in south devon (UK)
sorry im tired and this might not be the clearest so i will explain more if you need it. | advice needed on trying again with my ex (fresh start) |
t3_3fgwh0 | relationships | Me [21 M] having trouble being alone and having fun when my girlfriend [22 F] is away. Need that reddit community support. | Hi guys,
Because my girlfriend and I spend all our free time on each other, I just don't know how to be alone anymore. My girlfriend will be gone for the next two weeks and I feel like...I dont know, just lonely, empty without her. It's been like this for a year and I need to seriously address it now. When she's away, its like every person I meet at work/school, ever friend I already have, every interaction with anybody...just feels like... like, I'm going through the motions. Like I'm not really there...I have no interest in what they have to say. I have no interest in hanging out with anyone. I have no interest in searching for opportunities to have fun and enjoy life. It's like I just lapse into this sucky gloomy state where I am just kind of waiting for my girl to come back. Obviously this is something I need to fix. I dont know why I feel like this. I know shouldn't feel this attached/clingy. My girlfriend definitely doesnt feel that way when we're apart. For instance, she's out at a festival with her friends right now and she'll probably be out partying with her girls afterwards too but I just kind of dont like having fun when she's not the one Im having fun with. I dont even like hanging with my boys anymore, its just the same stupid shit over and over again.
This might seem like a stupid problem, but when she's away, I get so depressed and I dont want to feel that anymore. I want to be able to keep on living my life and finding happiness in things other than her. But its just hard to force myself to do that - to go out, to spend something nice on just myself, to not be so fixated on her. Given our respective life goals, we'll probably end up becoming long distance eventually to pursue our careers, and this state of being will eat me up inside if I don't resolve it before then.
Please help me out, reddit. If you've been in my shoes, what have you done to rectify it? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Thank you. | Im having trouble being by myself and having fun when gf is away. Is eating me up inside :c |
t3_vb7em | BreakUps | I don't want to do this anymore. (X post from r/Relationships) | I (23f) and a coworker of mine (22m) have been talking and seeing eachother outside of work occasionally for two months. It is mostly an FWB situation, but lately it feels as though he has been developing some feelings. I have as well, and I think it's time to pull back from this situation because of that. He has a long term girlfriend (for shame, I know) that he intends on marrying, and I do not want to be the reason for the dissolution of their relationship or add to any problems they are already having (which they must be, or he wouldn't be messing around with me, right?). I do not have any illusions that he would ever break it off with her to be with me, and I went into this with eyes wide open. We work the same schedule in a small area and have no choice but to continue being around eachother as our shifts are on a rotating basis. Changing shifts is not an option. I don't have a problem with continuing to be around him, but I doubt he will feel the same way. Any time I bring up ending the affair, he gets upset and expresses that he in no way wants to stop what we are doing. I also know that he is firm on the stance of not leaving his girlfriend. Again, I'm okay with this and wish their relationship the best (I don't know her personally), but I feel terrible about this situation now. I know I was in the wrong, and so was he, to do anything like this. Say what you will on that. I'm just trying to figure out how to end this tactfully and with the least amount of awkwardness possible, although I know some amount is unavoidable. | I (23f) messed around with coworker (22m) with a gf; feelings present, no intentions of leaving gf; need to know how to end this tactfully. Feels bad, man. |
t3_16stkr | AskReddit | What is the craziest/worst/best thing you've done as a kid? | I'll start. Probably the worst thing I've done.
When I was about 11 years old my grandparents would let me go walk around the neighborhood at night with my friends.
Now my grandparents and parents lived in the same neighborhood but I was spending the night there.
One night we are walking down the road and I see this huge rock. I'm talking about a 50lb rock. I thought it would be funny if I placed it in the road and so I did just that. A couple minutes later a car pulls down the road. I run into hiding and watchfrom a good distance. It passes around it, but another car comes right behind it. I'm itching and my heart starts pounding. The car runs straight over it. I shit bricks and ran as fast as I could to my grandma's. Next thing you know, I hear sirens. Firetrucks start passing by. I get real nervous thinking I'm going to be in huge trouble, but no one said a thing.
I go home the next day and there is a rental car in the driveway. I asked my dad who was here and he says "you're mom's car caught on fire last night." I pulled out the most excellent poker face ever, like this thing was hiding in my back pocket my entire life.
So what made it ignite was when she ran over the rock, it punctured a fuel line and somehow sparked. She was ok, the car wasn't. | I caught my mom's car on fire with a rock. |
t3_1maunc | relationship_advice | 90/10 why try? | ive been dating this girl for about 3 months and since we started its always me doing the texting, asking to hang out, planning things, doing surprises for her, and making sure shes happy.
she however doesnt do any of these things and i feel like its always me giving 90% of the love and getting 10 back.
is there any way to fix this? make her try harder. everytime i ask about it she ensures that she loves me and she needs me very much an that she would do anything for me... but actions speak louder than words, i can say im a ninja but if i actually dont do ninja things im not a ninja Correct??? | i give 90% she gives 10% love back, how do i fix it? |
t3_34q5pi | relationship_advice | He [22/m] makes unwelcome comments about my [23/f] face. What should I do? | This guy and I have gotten to become really good friends the last few months. We recently realized our feelings for one another, and we have our first date lined up next weekend. However, he's been making comments about my face that I don't appreciate, and I'm not sure what I should do or how I can address it.
Yesterday's event was what propelled to me post here. I was getting ready to go out to dinner with some of my friends. When he saw my face with makeup, he said something along the lines of "You look different...like really really different." Quite a vague comment, but the tone of his voice sounded unpleasant, and I'm not even sure if he meant I looked ugly before without makeup or if my makeup was bad (which is actually almost my daily look). Either way, he made me feel self conscious about my appearance, and he could have addressed this in a much better manner.
Before that, he's also made small comments such as, "Oh what's that on your face?" and it turns out to be a pimple on my face. Also, the weather has made my skin a bit dry and there was a flake on my cheek. He actually actively tried to pick at it! Little things like that I've brushed off as innocuous curiosity, but the incident yesterday really hit the bucket and I'm pretty upset right now.
I don't know if I'm just being moody, but these things and some other behaviors such as having erotic wallpapers on his phone (which he's mostly deleted) has made me think that maybe he's too immature for my tastes. He's a really great guy and super brilliant in his field. He has so many awesome attributes and I was looking forward to seeing him more this week as well as our date on Saturday, but not anymore since last night...
What do you guys think? Any advice on what I should do? Thanks so much! | His comments and actions make him seem immature and make me feel insecure about my appearance. What should I do? |
t3_180dyn | relationship_advice | What do you do when your partner puts their family ahead of your relationship? 31f, 37m | We've been together (non-cohabiting) for five years. He has a lot of family responsibilities and is very close with his parents and sister. He supports his parents financially, lives near his sister and sees her and her family at least every week.
I knew that he had a lot of responsibility to them from day one, and I actually liked that about him (generally means a guy is unselfish and accountable). But as we got involved, I found that he had a problem with being honest and upfront about what he wanted/needed to do for his family, especially when their needs conflicted with ours as a couple. I would find about them coming over at the last minute, he would be unavailable for our plans- even though he'd often know well in advance what was happening with them. He basically doesn't tell me anything until he's forced to.
He's a pretty typical conflict avoider and will always point to external circumstances for why he can't be honest and up front. (I was busy, I was tired, I didn't think of it, you make me feel uncomfortable, I didn't think it was a big deal). I've worked very hard on being calm and understanding, hoping that he may find it easier to open up. I'm not perfect, but it's very under control. There's certainly no yelling or name calling, etc.
Now in the last few weeks we're getting ready for a trip I've been planning for three years and he just told me he can't go for the whole time because his sister will be giving birth then (she's married and this is number 2). Obviously, he could have said something about this seven to eight months ago, but he chose not to. I already scheduled my time off work and can't change the dates now.
We're seeing a couples therapist who is encouraging me to stop blaming him for how I feel in these situations ("it's not his fault you're angry, you're being triggered, but that's your responsibility").
I'm struggling here. I want to work on things but I can't be in a relationship where I get sidelined all the time, and always at the last minute. | Boyfriend can't tell me about his family obligations until the very last minute, when it always ruins our plans. |
t3_2yh29u | relationships | Me [21 M] broke up with my girlfriend [ 28 F] of 11 months. | Went to meet her today, I live abroad and my mums been staying at my house for a few days. We had an argument while we were walking from her work to her house. She said I was to close to my mum and my family effectively. We had a small argument, it escalated and then I left because her roommate was at their apartment. We kept talking/ fighting all day, tonight she was very sad and said she loved me and wanted me to come over. This was after I called her and she hurt me. Anyway I said I needed time to think, she kept calling and messaging and then she got annoyed and said she had had enough that my attitude was wrong. I said she was being selfish not giving me time to think. Its been a really intense relationship but I'm a but tired of the emotional strain. Still feel terrible though, looking for advice, or some emotional support if thats ok. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_3ln5d7 | tifu | TIFU because I made a bomb | This wasn't today, it was 6 years ago.
When I was 12, my family and I moved temporary to other house because the main house needed some repairs. The temporary house had a incredibly big backyard, like 60% of the total area of the house.
Whatever, we put the trash on big boxes, and I decided to fire the biggest box totally filled with trash, I thought it would be funny to see a big fire, the walls were pretty tall, so everyone would think it is a typical barbecue.
Then, I found a 3-liter bottled with diesel, coincidently used for fire on barbecue grills. And I pour the whole bottle on the trash, because I thought diesel would be slow to catch fire. I go for some matches to the kitchen (Mom & dad thought I was playing with my sister, as she was helping me), go to the backyard and then, set the fire on.
My sister and me were seeing how a little flame was growing, and I was holding my cat.
Then the box exploded
An incredibly huge fire mushroom lighted the night for 3 seconds, it reached like 30 feet height (I'm not exaggerating), the windows rumbled in all the neighborhood, and all the grass and ants 2 feet around the explosion got completly incinerated. My sister and me were pretty far from the explosion behind an old table that already was at the house, just if "something would go wrong". My cat jumped to my shoulder and scratched all my back.
My grandparent lives 2 squares away from the house, and he arrived just seconds after the explosion, also neighbors went to the house to see what happened, and a few minutes later, 3 or 4 police cars and a fire truck arrived, but the explosion extinguished the fire itself.
I didn't know what to say about the explosion, and my parents were explaining to everyone what happened.
My sister and me got a very good scold that night.
Guess who was at the next day news.
**Edit | I set fire to a box filled with trash, then I pour it diesel and it made an incredibly huge explosion. Neighbors, police, firemen and the news came to my house. |
t3_3mueat | tifu | TIFU by not keeping my mouth shut | This happened about an hour ago.
I work at a corporate law firm doing IT. I do everything from troubleshooting legit tech issues to holding the hands of users who make too much money and don't like to get there hands dirty.
Today I get a ticket for a VIP. Very simple - she wants to put corporate email on her new iPhone 6s and wipe her iPad which appears to have been dropped out of her corner office window. While I'm in her office, she says "Just wipe and do whatever with it." Baffled that she'd just sever her ties with her iPad so easily, I confirm that she is okay with us not returning her iPad to her. It's fine with her.
I'm thinking to myself Sweet! I got myself an iPad. I can keep this and wouldn't take any flack for it since no one would know. And even if someone found out, it really wouldn't be a big deal since it was her idea for us to get rid of it. And since we're not insane, we aren't going to just throw it in the trash.
But suddenly the smart part of my brain is swallowed by dumbassery and I say to her, "you know, there's a repair shop in the building that we refer other VIPs to. I could find out pricing and forward that to you."
"Sure, that'd be great."
I go and they charge $100; Mere pennies for someone who was perfectly fine with giving her iPad away at the drop of a hat.
She sent her Assistant with the money and the iPad is getting fixed now. | Honesty was not the best policy |
t3_3v5ray | relationships | Me (18F) with my friend (18F). She has become wild since going to college and is developing unhealthy tendencies. | We'll call my friend A. We've been close since elementary school and were in the same friend group throughout high school. We were the type of people that were all about having a sober good time. She had a good boyfriend of over a year and their relationship was very healthy.
A left to go to school (I'm home at community college) and ended up with a partier of a roommate. After about a month of school she decided she wanted to start going out and drinking and when her boyfriend didn't approve she broke up with him (he's a year below us, still in high school). There were other reasons that also built up to it, but I believe she would've stayed with him without that reason.
She broke up with him one weekend she was home, and when she went back she had the craziest (and unhealthiest) week of her life with the excuse that she was depressed about her breakup. Sunday night she got detained by the police with her roommate and their friends for breaking into the football stadium. The next night she got drunk in the dorms and pulled an all nighter before a midterm. Tuesday she stayed up late watching Netflix with her roommate in their guy friends room and fell asleep in one of the guy's beds with him at around 5 am before another midterm. The next night she got black out drunk and hooked up with that friend. Friday she smoked weed for the first time. Saturday she got drunk and smoked weed.
Since that week she's calmed down with her drinking during the week but still goes out partying/to the bars/just drinking in the dorms 2-3 times a weekend. She always complains about how her life is a mess and isn't doing as well on her schoolwork as she used to. Should I stage an intervention? Any other advice? | since going off to college my friend has pulled a 180 and developed unhealthy life habits. How do I confront her? |
t3_2h28ez | tifu | TIFU by ignoring my nosebleed | I'ts a pretty normal quiz. Normal as in the entirity of my studying was done about five minutes before class - nothing unusual. I liked this class because I get to sit behind this really cute girl who I was considering asking out.
It was about half way through my assessment when the powers that be decided to curse me with a nosebleed. I've had nosebleeds all my life, so I could tell I had one before blood dripped out of my nostrils. 'no sweat', I thought, 'it's pretty small, so I'll just keep my head high and swallow it like a man.' I do this more often than I care to admit during class, and it's just more efficient than leaving to deal with it. When you straight up swallow it though, there tends to be a large blood clot that resides in the back of the nose hanging down the throat. It's gross when you swallow it, but it usually means the end of the bleeding.
I could feel the clot at the back of my throat when disaster struck. An itching that came from the depths of my sinuses emerged, rising until it was ready to erupt. The thoughts that entered my mind can be summarized by a quote from Edgar Allan Poe; "Oh, any horror but this!" I heard that rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth makes it better, but when I tried it the situation was only worsened.
In my panic I forgot to cover. With a great BLEGHH, I sneezed, sending blood in all directions. My desk and the area around me looked like a crime scene. That girl in front of me quickly got up after realizing she was covered in human body fluid. Jumping away from the desk, she shreiked "oh shit!", drawing the entire class's attention at us and my work of red and abstract art. A couple others yelped, and one girl fainted. I felt something on my bottom lip. It was warm and slimy. The blood clot hung from my mouth like a parasitic alien slug. I went to the bathroom to clean up, and I stayed there untill class was over. I guess I'll have to finish my blood stained quiz another time, and my chance with that cute girl is loooong gone. | A young man sprays blood everywhere, crushing his hopes and dreams. |
t3_d9inr | AskReddit | Reddit, if you could ask Ben Huh (LOLcats Guy) one question what would it be? | Here's the breakdown...
Ben Huh is actually coming to speak at an event near my college for upcoming developers and entrepreneurs. I won tickets to this event from my department and now am given the great opportunity to possibly ask Ben Huh the questions that are on Reddit's mind. The event is called [The Combine] if you are a skeptic. Anyways I thought I would let the community of Reddit know and see what kind of questions come about. I will likely choose the best 1-5 questions and try to ask them to Ben during the conference then report back to the community on what he said. Now I will put the disclaimer that I might not be able to ask any questions, but it's a long event and I'm hopeful. With that said lets see what questions you all can come up with! | I might have the opportunity to ask Ben Huh some questions and want Reddit's advice on what to ask |
t3_1xzcnx | relationships | I [20M] had a discussion about my fears concerning a long-distance relationship with my Long-Distance-More-Than-Friend [17F]. It ended up badly. How to overcome the fear of the uncertainty and lack of physical contact in a Long Distance relationship? | I met this Buenos Aires, ARG, girl online about a week ago.I'm from Santiago, CL, and ever since we've spent time on skype talking for the most part of the day, and as we talk we both realize how much we are into each other. I really find she's the most interesting person I've met in a long, long while. However, in between all the deep conversations and music trading, I cannot help but feel a bit blue about the fact that she lives in another country, and I don't have the means to travel to see her. I've met people in relationships with others from another country, and the cost is very high (plane tickets are expensive, let alone a hotel room). We've both already talked about the fact that we are very much into each other, and she's always telling me what we'd do the minute I go over to Buenos Aires. How she'd cook for me and how we'd go out and all of that, very candidly.
Yesterday I decided to tell her how I feel about the distance. I told her it was hard for me to have a relationship through a screen (I've been in relationships like those before, with people who live 30 min away), and I didn't want her to delude herself into thinking we'd be together and exclusive over the distance, and we'd meet in the future. At this time in my life. Needless to say, she didn't like to have that conversation last night, but we decided we'd go to bed and sleep it off. However this morning I wake up to find several messages telling me that going to bed was the worst I could have done.
Who needs to wise up here?
Should I just go with the flow and enjoy whatever kind of relationship we can maintain over skype?
How to overcome the uncertainty of the long-distance relationship, the fear of probably never seeing each other, or the lack of physical contact? | Met incredible girl online and we're into each other, but don't know how to maintain long-distance relationship. |
t3_ypdie | personalfinance | Complete neophyte, Need advice on who to go to, to get my financial house in order, I have no idea on where to even start | My wife and I make a descent amount of money and have been pretty responsible with it, We purchased and paid off one house that we now rent and we try hard to live responsibly within our means. We dont have much debt (relatively) but I feel we need help from the ground up on how to handle our personal finances and begin getting more serious about our investments. I have NO IDEA who you even go to if you want to hire someone to help you with everything. Personal budgeting, responsible saving and investing. I know this may sound silly to people who are well versed in financial things, but to me, we have been flying by the seat of our pants and i would like to go about this in a more mature and responsible way. Who provides services like this? Where do you go to get started. | We make good money and Im tired of pissing most of it away every month without seeing some sort of return. |
t3_1xpios | relationships | My boyfriend [25/m] broke up with me [21/f] | We were together for a year and 4 months. The last six months or so we had little to no sex. When I asked he always said he still was attracted to me but had no desire for it, I'd get paranoid and upset but he always assured me he just wasn't sexual.
He broke up with me a week and a half ago. Said he couldn't cope with the expectation of the relationship. Having to look after someone be relied on etc. Fine. He has depression, so do i, that shit is hard. But now I know he is talking to another girl. He said to a buddy of his that I was nice and everything but he needed someone to put him in his place and make him get on with things when he's upset, whilst I tend to respect his boundaries, if he told me to leave him alone I did. I never nagged.
I feel so pathetic. I keep cyberstalking them both trying to figure out if something is actually going on or if they are just talking. She's beautiful, witty, funny, a writer, a music lover, everything he is that I wasn't. I, now just feel like the pathetic little woman. The one that was there for him but was too comfortable and boring. The one he couldn't get it up for. I feel so pathetic and worthless. I never felt intellectual enough for him and now he's found his match and I'm left in the cold. I can't do anything without thinking of him. | he broke up with me and i'm worried he did it to get with her, which makes me feel worthless. |
t3_k2stt | AskReddit | I feel like I have a duel at O.K. Corral | I have this hangout spot in Mexico City, I go there to pick up /r/trees , worked there a few times, started drinking there pretty regularly, its just a tire shop. In my desire to talk about other cool places in Mexico City, I talked myself into a big whopper about how we are going to have a party. Six 1.2L of beer and a whole chicken would be enough, and pretty standard. The problem is its getting pretty obvious Im caked up and I think the homies are plotting on me. At the same time, the Gangsta way to be about anything is to follow through with what you say you will do. Thoughts? | I think Im too deep in the streets |
t3_2m1jeh | tifu | TIFU by taking a nap. | I'm just a regular high school student that sometimes has to finish up a paper late into the night so I was a bit tired after school. I should add now that my parents are divorced and think very differently from each other as one tends to blame the other. My mother was gone for the day so my father came to check up on me and how things were going, but I forgot and was taking a nap before he came. I wake up to my dad in a fit of anger, but I just did not want to get out of bed. At this point he was calling my mother yelling and saying that I was passed out from drunkenness or high on drugs. The funniest part was that he thought I was sleeping with girls everyday since my mother came home from work late and I had the house to myself. My family knows I have no social skills with girls. Apparently he came to these conclusions because he found lubrication I use to clean my airsoft gun with. He won't listen and wants my room checked for drugs and have me monitored for a while. | Fell asleep. Woke up as a full fledged gangster. |
t3_1h01u1 | relationships | Me[24F] and my chiropractor [30M] - flirting, potential for friendship and/or more, is it unethical? | I'll give some background here! I'm an avid gym goer, am actually conditioning to enlist in the army in the next year. A few months ago I started noticing a fella around the gym who I was attracted to. The kind of gym I go to, well, it's not a pick up gym. So I never pursued him, but it was evident he was attracted to me as well.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I've been having back problems (nothing serious, just annoying and needed to be dealt with). I got a referral to see a chiropractor (I knew the guy was a member of the gym, did not know it was THAT guy). So anyway, show up for my appointment and sure enough, it was him. We joked around, flirted (at least I think there was flirting...), and he started to work on my back.
I've seen him at the gym, and we've chatted. Had a few appointments and will continue to see him for treatment. (Oh lord, has he done my back some good, woo!)
So my question is: while he is treating me, is it unethical to broach for more contact outside of the current environments in which we see each other? I'm not sure of ethics in regards to chiropractors, I would assume there are some ethical procedures to follow - please enlighten me!
I will say this - there has been nothing unethical happen yet. He's very good at what he does and he has remained professional. I realize I said there was flirtation, but nothing overtly sexual, just giggling and joking. | Can I jump his bones while he works on my bones? |
t3_36jdxx | Advice | Is someone sleeping in my car? | Yesterday morning, I got in my car and drove to work like I always do. When I got out of my car to go inside the building, I noticed some weird reddish sugar powder covering the driver's seat. It was all over the seat of my pants. I do not eat in my car, and this was clearly some sort of candy, so I'm not sure what's going on. I didn't think to check the backseat then but today I noticed a smell and looked back to see a mug containing hot cocoa that I'd left back there (gross, I know) with a lid on was open and spilled everywhere. I'm annoyed and very creeped out. Is there any way to know if someone is sleeping in the car overnight and anything that I can do? No one else has a key to my car and I can't park in a garage. I do ALWAYS lock it, however. I don't have a remote, I just lock it with the key every time. | I found weird messes in my car that I did not make and now I'm concerned. |
t3_1rjsxc | relationships | Help! I am (F19) and my boyfriend is two years is (M22) he has been really depressed lately.. | Me and my boyfriend have lived together for over a year now. My bf really hates his job and is really stressed and depressed lately. This month we have had 3 decent sized fights, the first two I left and went to my Dad's house (this is the first time I have ever left when we have fought because usually it ends up getting worse so I was trying something new) and he ended up saying that I am the worst girlfriend and don't care about him, which I obviously do care about him.
Today was the third and i picked him up from work and he said he was tired and I clearly could tell he was not in a good mood and I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said no that he just wanted to sleep so when we got home he went straight to the bed and I told him I would be in the living room if he wanted to talk about things.
I went and watched TV for about two hours and I received a text from him saying that it was the third time this month that I had showed him that I don't care about him and that he just wants to be friends.
Please help! I was just trying to give him his space! What I have done in the past never works so I try new things to avoid making the fight grow and I always end up never meeting his expectations. What do I do? I want to be with him, I am not just going to throw our whole relationship out over miscommunications like this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you need more info or anything just ask. Thank you so much. | Every way I go about solving fights is never the right way. Boyfriend says he wants to just be friends because he claims I don't care about him. |
t3_311mpx | relationships | Me [31F] with my SO [33 M] together 10 plus years emotionally cheated with a coworker and treated me like I'm a terrible person | Basically she propositioned herself to him. He did say to her that he wanted to keep it online via text and not physical. Yeah, I give him props for that. During this time behind my back with her, he treated me bad for the first time ever. So I knew something was up. I found over 5000 text were sent and received during one month and it happened for 5 months. I confronted him . he said he would stop. Several more months the pattern started up again. He checked out and betrayed my trust. I ask him to stop again. We have a young child together and she nearly broke up our family. We went through a lot trying to get back to us. I think we are now back where we should be. I love him. The situation makes it tough on me.
My problem now is that he still works with her. I have to see her from time to time. I called her a whore the other day to him and it just set him off. He thinks I haven't overcome the situation. It does take time. How do I let go of it when she's still around? She really makes me pissed off every time I see her and it does bring back the pain I went through. | he emotionally cheated and I can't stand her every time I see her. He still works with her. I'd be better off if they didn't work together still. Is this normal for me to still have those feelings when we cross paths? How do I move on? |
t3_f0273 | relationships | Husband not interested in sex, wtf? | My husband and I have been together for over 10 years, and married for 7. For the most part we get along very well, we seldom fight and share a lot of interests. The problem? In the bedroom of course. Whether because of stress, unhappiness with who knows what (he doesn't have an answer) or just being out of shape, he has been either disinterested, too tired or just not in the mood for longer than I care to think about. He's in his early 40's and I'm in my mid 30's, no kids nor do we want them.
I know it's not my physical state. I'm in pretty damned good shape, and the few male friends that I have mentioned our issues to are pretty much flabbergasted as to why there's a problem. I've tried initiating things multiple times, only to get shut down because he's tired, or not in the mood. When he does try, it's as if he's forgotten Seduction and Foreplay 101...to the point of him doing stupid shit that turns me off. Or he somewhat rises to the occasion, only to be unable to finish.
It's caused multiple arguments, some ending with me in frustrated tears, others just fizzle out because there just seems to be no good solutions. I haven't brought up counseling, because I highly doubt it will work for either of us. I've suggested he go to the doctor to make sure that everything is ok, which he just doesn't seem to care enough to do.
Basically I have a roommate that I sleep next to, cook and clean for. My libido is SERIOUSLY pissed off, along with other parts of me. I'm pretty much at my wits end with this. I know I could go pretty much anywhere, find someone fascinating and have awesome sex. Instead I sit here, watching month after month go by. My financial state is not stable enough to just up and move out right now, feeling trapped just sucks. | husband not interested in sex, wtf should I do? |
t3_zuj14 | AskReddit | Reddit, does your introversion/extroversion depend on who you're interacting with or meeting, or am I a less common case? | One of my strengths, I feel, is that I can usually tell if I have things in common with/would probably get along with someone upon meeting them, and I find it pretty easy to talk to them. If we have a lot in common (similar humor, like the same things, etc) I want to talk to them a lot and have a strong urge to hang out with them, etc.
However, this is a minority of cases, so with most people I either am neutral (I don't have an immediate connecting point) or I don't feel comfortable around them at all. I'm usually okay with meaningless introduction but sometimes not much beyond that. Some people I feel so distant from I just get intimidated by them and I basically shut down.
This usually works out for me because I'm a pretty good judge of who I get along with and everything is fine and dandy. But sometimes they're not as eager to hang out as me and I feel all hurt, like "Why wouldn't you want to talk more?? We have so much in common!" (and then I realize that not everyone must think like me) and sometimes of course I don't make friends I otherwise could because a friendship isn't as apparent and I'm too intimidated. | I judge people based on how well I think I'd get along with them and I'm very extroverted or introverted depending on which way it goes |
t3_3hijbl | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Ex-girlfriend [16F] 7 Weeks, 2 Years later, I want to make amends | Things didn't end well..
Our breakup was very sudden, over the phone, and then contact was cut completely. Id rather not go into depth on our relationship, but long story short, it just didn't work out.
It's coming up on 2 years, and we are still in the "Don't talk or look at me" phase..
I get kinda tongue tied when she passes by, and I go sort of mute. Try to act like I didn't see her, but I did (pathetic..I know)
School is starting back up again, and we still haven't talked. I have a little bit of guilt..and obsession about the issue. I want to talk to her, even if it's just casual chat..it doesn't have to be about the relationship from 2 years ago..just a way to smooth things over a bit, and ultimately put closure on the issue.
However, I don't know if she would still consider it an "issue".
Is there anyway I should go about striking up a conversation with her..I see her every day, and pass by in the halls.. | I want to make ammends with my EX after 2 years of no contact. |
t3_3mdgio | relationships | Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] have a problem with a close friend of hers. Need advice. | Started dating a girl in a close group of friends. When I did so, her best friend is acting all hurt and upset because of it.
Background: Best friend was interested in me a while back, (~5 months ago) and I said no. I was not interested in a relationship her. Fast forward to present day when I start dating her best friend. She acts extremely hurt and will not talk to either of us, even when before she told us that it would be completely fine with her if we did.
Neither of us want to lose her as a friend and are very confused as to why she is feeling like this. Any ideas? | Starting dating a girl and her best friend is upset because of reasons unknown. No significant event has ever happened in between the best friend and I, and she has already said it was okay for us to be in a relationship. |
t3_32wbkw | offmychest | I'm celibate. | There has been quite a few times where friends or family have asked me why I don't have a girlfriend or why I'm not trying to get get married. I want to tell them that I gave up on dating and sex and just want to live the rest of my life doing whatever.
I feel like if I told them I was celibate it would make me seem like a religious freak when in fact I am an atheist. Explaining why I choose to celibate would even be weirder for me when it's directly about sex and the mechanics of it.
No I'm not gay. No I'm not asexual. I'm heterosexual.
Is there a possible way without weirding out family and friends that you've become celibate? They'll make so many assumptions and it will just get weird.
I imagine they think I'm saying that because I think I'm too ugly or insecure about myself to ever be with a woman. Nah it's really not. I'm not a virgin.
I'm just sick of people asking or people telling me that I'm going to find the "one" or people asking if I'm seeing someone.
I'm sick of being treated like shit and feeling like I'm inferior.
It's even more awkward when a girl tries to show interest in me and ends up getting offended. Worst part is is that I actually found some these girls quite attractive.
I was never shown this much interest from women until I chose to actively become celibate. I think it's pretty ironic.
I still jerk off, but I mean I've had sex before. I tried it and it sucks. People suck. I'd rather be celibate. | I'm celibate. |
t3_31146o | relationships | I [17 M] need help with a situation going on with a [17 F] | First off, it's late and I'm on mobile, so please forgive grammar and spelling errors. Second off, I didn't know where I should post this, but here seems like the best place.
I really care about a girl in my life. She is sweet and charming and a huge nerd. We've known each other for a couple years, and I care about her deeply. I've seen her go through breakups with assholes, and when I see her sad, I'm sad too.
Now I've only recently come to see her as more than a friend, only around a few months ago. I realized that I might love her. I know it sounds fucking creepy, but I think I do. I care about her, first and foremost. I just feel awful because I desperately want to be with her, but I know that she would be happier with someone else. I want to be with her, but I want her to be happy
I know this isn't as serious as many other things on this subreddit, but I don't know what to do.
Only a few minutes ago I told her how I feel, and she said we wouldn't be right for each other. I responded, telling her I'm sorry for straining our friendship, but she hasn't responded. I'm hoping she fell asleep and hasn't read it yet. I'm so nervous and confused and sad and fucking angry! I don't even know why! I would just love if someone had any advice to give me. | I think I love a great friend and told her. She said we weren't right for each other. Now I feel awful |
t3_2oc2oi | relationships | I [21F] saw a video of my SO [21M] and a female friend of his and something didn't sit right with me. Help! | Some useful background information: We are currently in a long distance relationship, and we've been together for 3 years.
So I saw this video of this campus event with my SO in it and on this video, he doesn't seem to notice a camera and a mutual friend of ours runs up behind him and gives him a hug.
This is all fine and dandy until he reaches for her hands and kind of strokes/caresses them. Then she moves her hand (away from his touch?) and kind of scratches his belly. Then she lets go of him and they talk and she laughs. Then it cuts away.
I'm really uncomfortable with this and I will talk to him about it but before I do, I need to get a second, third and fourth opinion. | Saw a video of my SO running a girls hands. Is what I'm feeling (a sense of betrayal) justified? Or am I just being overdramatic? |
t3_pn3k6 | AskReddit | First real breakup, and it's basically the worst thing. How did you handle your first relationship ending, Reddit? | Just getting out of a relationship that was absolutely incredible. It was the first time I've ever been able to be completely honest with another person.
Unfortunately the relationship is ending (not exactly willingly by either of us) because it falls into pretty gray area as for who could wind up getting hurt if people found out.
I know in my heart that if the situation surrounding us was different, that this guy would probably be it for me. To me, he is amazing.
The worst part is we still are going to be seeing each other every week, and talking almost daily. How do I possibly begin to get over someone who I'm not over, and who isn't over me? | Forbidden" love if you will, and I have no idea how to start moving on when neither or us wanted it to end. How do I stop wanting him? |
t3_34qmgc | tifu | TIFU by sending my friend's parents to Springfield, Illinois instead of Massachusetts | My friend lives in Springfield, Massachusetts and his parents were coming over to spend a couple of weeks with him, as they haven't seen him in ages. They're chinese and live in Beijing. My friend is a programmer, and doesn't have a lot of free time. I was spending the week at his place, so I volunteered to book the thing for him, that way could stay focused at his job. He lent me his credit card, told me his parents' info, and I bought the tickets.
Now this is where I fucked up, I booked the flights very late in the night, so I was tired as hell. So tired I coudn't see very clearly the screen of my phone. I knew I had bought the tickets, but I had a feeling I did something wrong. 3 days later, my friend's parents get on the plane and head to America. They don't speak English, so we had to be very careful so that they wouldn't miss anything. Me and my friend got to the airport, and told his parents to meet us at the arrival area. Minutes later, my friend gets a call from who said he was also in the arrival area, but couldn't see us. We spent the next hour looking for them in the entire airport, with no results. My friend then stops to think, and asks his dad to check on his ticket what state he was in. His dad says Illinois. It then hit me I sent his parents to the wrong Springfield. At this moment, I burst into laughter realizing my mistake and my friend gets super pissed at me.
Long story short, we had to guide his parents to find someone who works at the airport and speaks mandarin, book another flight to Springfield, Massachusetts, and pay an extra fee for their bags. Me and my friend haven't spoken ever since. | TIL the hard way that there are 41 Springfields in the United States. |
t3_1kl6tn | relationships | Me [25M] have trust issues with girlfriend of 1+ year [24F] | I've been dating this great girl for over a year. The relationship has been solid, other than a break for a week in the early part of the year. Her reasoning was that she was not over her ex-boyfriend. I'm a trustworthy person and we ended up hanging out that week and got back together and things have been fine.
My issue is that I did look at her phone on a hunch, after seeing her text him at 3~ in the morning (He will text drunk every night wanting to hook up and she turns him down) and I didn't see anything incriminating. I ask her about it and let her know it makes me upset but she assures me nothing is going on.
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The latest thing is that she removed her relationship status with me on Facebook, and called me petty for asking why she lied about it and said she didnt know how it happened originally, but told me she "We live together, our relationship doesnt have to be facebook centered"
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I moved out to this area to finish school, but I don't have a safety net other than her. We live together, and I don't have a lot of money or another place to go if the relationship were to fall through. I'm on the lease but there are times I admit that I feel like maybe this isn't for me. I'm more than nice to her, giving her backrubs, helping her with homework, fuck I ran 2 miles to get her and her family ice cream today. She makes a big fuss about giving me a backrub, is hardly ever in the mood for sex and acts like I'm the bad guy.
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I have a history of depression, so perhaps I am overthinking things and just being paranoid, but the fact that she keeps returning his texts so late at night when he wants nothing but sex bothers me.
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All in all, things are okay for the most part, her family likes me and enjoys having me over yet at the same time I feel at times very alone. I have one friend out here and in general am terrible at conversing and meeting new people. | Am I overthinking things or am I right to question my trust? |
t3_4vnai5 | dogs | [Help] My dog is picky about her food and I need help. | My GSD/Malamute is a picky eater.
Weight: 88lbs
Stats: Female, Spayed, 2.5 years old.
Currently she's on 4 cups a day (2 cups in the morning, two at night) of Hills Ideal balance Chicken and Brown Rice.
She has started having issues with her anal glands and the vet said put her on a high-fiber diet, try sweet potatoes, and pumpkin.
For the past week she has gotten a tablespoon of pumpkin in her food, with some water, and a little bit of milk.
She will *not* eat unless there's a little bit of milk in her food. However, she usually has to be coerced into eating. She doesn't seem to like the food and only eats because she has to.
I am at a loss of what to do. I am looking at high-fiber foods, but they seem to be more expensive than I can afford.
I have another dog, a 2.5 year old, GSD/Lab, 122 pounds. She also gets 4 cups a day, with water and pumpkin (no milk). She has to be on a diet because she is a cow.
I need help with a solution that is both cost effective (Ideal balance via amazon subscribe and save is $37-40, of which I have to buy 2 bags a month to feed these monsters) and will get my princess eating again - without the attitude.
She is medically fine, other than her anal glands. She's pretty active, not as much as she'd like to be, but it's also 100+ here in Southern California and she's a heat bitch like her mom. | princess dog needs a high-fiber dog food that's roughly $40 for a 30 pound bag that her cow of a sister can also eat without getting fatter. |
t3_18ntgo | relationship_advice | [21/m] Just ended things with my girlfriend [26/f] after nearly 1 1/2 years because i'm just not sure if I can see myself with her in the long run. Did I give up on her too soon? | Just ended things today with my girlfriend because I don't know if I see myself marrying her. There's a bit of a gap in age but its never really bothered me before until I think about us together down the road. I was never really unhappy in the relationship but I just feel like if I don't think I can fully commit to her that I should break things off now instead later and let her have the chance to find somebody else who might love her more than I do. Am I wrong for not really trying to hard to work things out and see if I would ever change? Any advice would be super helpful | broke up with my girlfriend because I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with her as her SO |
t3_1shjbf | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [26 M] 6 year relationship, how long should i give him to take down our relationship status? | Hello,
I broke up with my bf yesterday after being on a break for the past 3 weeks. It was not mutual, he was pleading with me to keep the relationship going despite the fact that I am not in love with him and I know he's not happy with the level of affection he receives. I care about him, he was my best friend as we were together for 6 years. We were long distance for the past 3 years though. I told him that we should remove our relationship status from facebook, as i would like to move on with my life now (to be honest, I have already mourned the relationship and had been thinking about breaking up for a long time). He said he wants some time before he removes it, but I feel like it's another way he's trying to keep the fantasy going. I had brought up my uncertainties so many times in the relationship and he never acknowledged them, and suggested I had a personality disorder. I don't want my friends to be confused by the fact that he still has it up, and frankly, I would like to start dating someone where I live. My mom says I'm being cruel to him and he needs respect from me. Should I remove the status myself or give him a deadline? | Me, 24F, broke up with bf, 26M, of 6 years. Long distance for the past 3 years. He wants some time before removing the relationship status from facebook, but I'd like to be able to move on and not have it up there. I hid it on my facebook, but all of our mutual friends can see it on his. Should I give him a deadline to take it down, or is that being too harsh? |
t3_3r9nl2 | tifu | TIFU by trying to "pick" the lock of a car door. | So when I was about 8 years old I was really interested in spy/secret agent type stuff. I had always seen it in the movies how it is super easy to pick locks and all that jazz.
So me being a typical 8 year old thought it was a good idea to try to pick my parents' car door with a paperclip.
Well after playing around with it for a couple minutes the paper clip snaps in half and half of the paper clip gets stuck in the lock.
I immediately run away and totally don't acknowledge that I did it.
Well a few days later, my mom talks to me and my family about how someone tried to break into her car, and is now still to this day super paranoid about having all the windows all the way rolled up and constantly checking locks excessively. Basically scarred my mom for life. | Tried to pick my parent's car lock with a paper clip, now my mom is super paranoid about car thieves years later. |
t3_2ls8vc | relationships | My [19 M] girlfriend [17 F] of two years wants me to abuse her. | I really need some help. I'll do my best to keep it short.
My girlfriend of two years has been depressed for most of our relationship. I've known it for a long time and I've tried to get her the help as best as I can, but it's been difficult. Aside from her insistence that she doesn't want help, her parents are... difficult. After I finally managed to get them to take her to a therapist, they insisted on talking to a ~~psychiatrist~~ therapist her dad knows. For a while they refused to be out of the room during her sessions - even though they were part of the problem - although that's mostly remedied. The main issue though is that she doesn't connect with the guy. Can't talk to him. Doesn't like him, even though she's tried. Her parents have made it clear that he's the only guy they're going to use. So that's completely useless.
She also has heavy self image issues. She sees herself as fat despite being underweight. She sees her stomach as "bulging" and nitpicks every aspect of her appearance. Negatively, of course.
But recently... she revealed to me that she wishes I'd... abuse her. Call her names, be awful to her, hit her, even go so far as to rape her. I'm nothing but loving to her, so this scares me, but isn't all to surprising. We do similar things sexually. I'll probably stop doing that kind of thing with her, more romantic sex than anything.
I love her more than anything and she's the most wonderful and loving person when her depression doesn't wreak havoc on her. She's been part of my life for a long while now and I love her too much for letting her go to be an option. I'm determined to stick it out. | Girlfriend's been depressed for years, we'v been working on that. She now wants me to abuse her, which stems from her self-hatred and image issues. I need advice, what can I do? |
t3_223m97 | relationships | Her [25F] and I [25F]. Too early to ask where this is going? | I recently met a girl through a combination of Tinder and mutual friends. We went on a date last Wednesday. On Friday, she came to my house for a party. She stayed the night and we ended up hanging out most of Saturday. Sunday, we hung out, watched a movie, and stayed up until 4 talking amongst other things. On Tuesday she texted me to come visit her at work so I did for a bit (she bartends). And finally yesterday, she texted me to see her because she was in my area and then again later wanting me to go out with her and her friends (missed the 2nd part due to studying). It's pretty evident that she is interested in some nature, I'm just not sure what she is looking for or what she wants out of this. Is it okay to ask this question so early after meeting her? I'm really into this girl, but I don't want to scare her away or anything. | went on a date with a girl last week who I'm in to. Seen each other a lot during the time since. I'm not sure where it's going, but I'd love to know. Is it too early to ask? |
t3_i37bn | relationships | My dad cheats on my mom, with other men. Has for years. What to do? | Basically, a few years back, he left his laptop open and I saw he was on a social networking site for LGBT people. I noticed his username, but didn't want to see any more. I've spent way too much time the past years thinking about this, wondering what to do and trying to forget it – because I think my mom would be in a horrible position financially if they divorced, and he does seem to actually love my mom (she's a handful – I don't see why he wouldn't have left her if he didn't, especially now that all of the kids have moved out). His profile stated he was bisexual.
He often disappears for an hour or two at night, making up excuses for what he's doing – especially when my mom is out. He also uses his non-work cellphone constantly, and he even sat between me and my brother in the back seat of the car once, texting some guy with "I'll be back in the city tonight, maybe we can meet up then?" (I know – it could be anything, but knowing what I know…). He's constantly using his laptop as well – without ever even mentioning what he spends those hours doing. I'm not sure what my mom thinks he does.
Tonight we're staying in a hotel (sharing a room) in another city for various reasons, and he started making up some excuse about going to see some friends at a bar. Even asked me how to get to the street and everything, and that just pissed me off. I don't want to contribute to this charade. Anyways, after he left, I made a fake account on the website he uses, and he was last seen online about 5 minutes before he shut off his laptop and left. So was another guy in his friends list who lives in the city, and "thanked" my dad after a visit to our hometown all the way back in 2006. | My dad cheats on my mom (with men, but that's secondary to the cheating thing). This whole situation has put me in a sucky position, and makes it difficult to not act hostile towards my dad when he lies. But we don't have a particularly close relationship where a lot of stuff is shared, so confronting him about it in person seems kind of impossible. |
t3_3yb43p | legaladvice | [NYC] No hot water, broken washing machine, landlord is unresponsive. What are my options? | I live in Manhattan, NYC, in a fairly nice building near midtown. The hot water for the entire building has been completely shut off for over two weeks now - the only water we get is ice cold. Management has only posted vaguely worded notices claiming "issues with ConEd" that they are "working hard to resolve." No timeline for a fix, and I (along with other residents) are getting increasingly frustrated at having to go to the gym every morning to shower.
Separately, I am lucky enough to have an in-unit washing machine, but unlucky enough to have an in-unit washing machine that leaks everywhere. The super referred me to a maintenance guy who referred me to a mechanic, all of whom are giving me the runaround and won't return calls or answer e-mails. I work very long hours, and part of the reason I picked an apartment with a W/D was to avoid spending the precious little free time I do have sitting in a laundromat.
These and several other issues are sufficient to make me want to move out when my lease is up next fall, but in the meantime I just want my hot water and washing machine to work. What are my options to get this process moving along? | No hot water for over two weeks, and washing machine is broken. Landlord is unresponsive and in no hurry to fix these issues. What can I do? |
t3_f0xv4 | AskReddit | Please help me train my puppy to stop being such an asshole. | My girlfriend and got a rescue puppy in October. A little background on her situation: She is an 11 month old-ish terrier mix and [cute as shit.] She was taken from an abusive shelter in West Virginia by a rescue organization. Unfortunately, the situation she was in with the rescue organization wasn't very good either. She was cooped up on an enclosed porch with 30-40 other dogs. I'm not sure how long she was in the shelter or with the rescue org.
It was pretty apparent when we got her home that she had some separation issues. She cannot be in a room that we are not in without constant whining and crying. We chalked it up to her being in a new environment.
We crate her while we are at work, which is about 6-7 hours a day. She gets walked three times a day: Once in the morning between 8 and 9, once when my girlfriend gets home between 4 and 5, and once before I go to bed between 10 and 11. We take her to a small park where she can run around for a bit on leash. In total she gets about 45 minutes of walk time every day.
We were crating her at night and not letting her on the bed at all, which was successful for a while. Recently, we broke down and let her in the bed, which led to us letting her sleep there at night as well. For a while this was fine. However, every night she's become more and more obnoxious at bedtime, culminating last night when she sat on the edge of the bed until 2:30 AM crying at nothing. She is not in pain, as she acts completely normal when it's not bed time. It seems like she's either bored or anxious...which I don't know how to fix in the middle of the night when we need to be sleeping. Eventually she calmed down and went to sleep, sleeping through the night with no problem.
I've started [this training regimen] which involves giving all of her food for the day as reward for good behavior. I just started with breakfast this morning so we'll see if it works or not.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. We really love this dog and want her to be a calm, happy and healthy pup. | My dog is an asshole who cries on my bed until 2:30. HALP! |
t3_ime0k | Cooking | TIL How much richer and darker homemade Teriyaki is when compared to store bought. | So, I just finished my first attempt at skillet teriyaki chicken, and man I though I blew it big time. I browned up my chicken a little, and threw in the makings of my sauce, planning to leave it be for 25-30 minutes so it could cook down. So, about 15 minutes later, I took the lid off of my skillet, and thought it was done for. The sauce was almost black, a very very deep brown, so I thought for sure it was burned, judging off my past experience with teriyaki.
But then, I tasted it, and nearly fell over from the deliciousness.
Probably one of the best things I have cooked to date.
Folded some white rice, carrots, corn, and green beans into the skillet and it's ready to go.
I also made some Japanese "shrimp sauce" or whatever you want to call it, so this is going to be delicious. | Teriyaki is nearly black when done correctly, so don't panic like I did when you see it. |
t3_3y84js | relationships | Girlfriend [20 F] and I [20 M] broke up after 4 years - not sure what to think? | I started dating my now-ex-girlfriend back in highschool when we were only 16, we quickly became best friends and lovers and spent two years together before our graduation. We then graduated together. Once the time for university came, she made a decision to go to the UK to do her bachelor's degree while I decided to remain in my current country as I got accepted into med school.
At first we tried hard to keep everything fresh although it was long distance, we skyped weekly, phoned, texted daily...etc , but as time went by things started to fall apart, I got too busy with med school and we stopped phoning / skyping on a regular basis .. so our whole relationship was based purely on texts.
Another 2 years past through university until she finally decided to break it off with me because 'I no longer cared' and 'was no longer the person I used to be' ... I guess because I was always the type who wanted to be with someone who I could see a lot in person, I'm pretty 'physical' in showing my affection (but not in a sexual way of course) rather than by all the long term stuff
So it's been 2 months since we split up, and I'm confused, when people ask me how I feel about the situation I don't even know how to explain myself, it's almost as if it all happened and I just have no feelings towards any of it.. yet I can't imagine myself being with anyone else, I find lots of girls attractive, but I can never bring myself to make an initiative and talk to them and make an effort because I feel like there's no future for me with any of them .. but at the same time I've stopped dreaming about her, in fact I've started dreaming about previous crushes before I even met her ... it's all so confusing
I'd like your thoughts/analysis? | broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and I don't know whether my brain wants me to move on or not? |
t3_2ihts9 | relationships | I (24m) feeling very alone after sudden breakup | My Long distance girlfriend just ended things with me. It was very sudden and I am not processing it very well. I sat at my desk today and cried. The details aren't very important, but basically we had plans of being together very soon, she was going to come to my country. Then today she just tells me we are done and she no linger wishes to see me or leave her friends behind. I am very hurt and I am sure my thoughts n this post are all over the place. We had so many plans and we were so close to making them happen.Over the course of the last month many of my friends have moved very far away. My parents are on the other side of the country. I just need somone to tell me, nick you will be ok again. I am feeling very very alone. | things are falling apart for me. Need to know things will be ok. |
t3_3h045a | relationships | I [17M] am not sure if I should tell my gf [18F] of 1.5 years that I'm unhappy with her choices. | My gf recently traveled across the country to visit her hometown.
Contact with her during her trip has been very strained due to her being busy visiting friends. During what short contact we've had, I learned she recently dyed her hair into a rainbow and got a tattoo on her side. While I try to stay out of her way and not get involved in what she wants to do, I have objected to both of these in the past, but tried to make it clear that I'd rather she talk to me before doing something like this. Because of this I feel somewhat like she has used this trip to 'slip this past me' rather than have a discussion about it.
However, at this point, what's done is done. I'm not sure at this point if I should voice my feelings and tell her how I feel about this, or if I should stay quiet and try to fake happiness, or at the least indifference. I'm hesitant to explain how I feel because this is something she feels strongly about, and I'd rather not have her assume I'm trying to control her decisions. | gf made decisions I asked that we talk about while across the country. |
t3_2jblbt | relationships | Me [36 M] with my GF [38 F] of about a year - marriage is off the table, but she has no insurance and I'm worried about her health. | Between us we have 5 (yes, 5) previous marriages. I have two and she has 3. Further we have 6 kids between us. I have 4 and she has 2. Mine live out of state and hers live with her.
I have a great relationship with her kids. They're insured through medicare (she doesn't make a whole lot...not a big deal). She doesn't have health insurance though. Neither of the dads are very helpful financially nor when it comes to being there for the kids. I've filled the role to a degree.
We've discussed moving in together and possibly looking at things down the road a ways. We've both been through crap relationships and realized we were compromising for people that didn't really care about us.
Neither of us is really crazy about getting married again, since our luck with it hasn't been all that great to begin with. Also, there really isn't much of a point aside from taxes and insurance and so forth.
We love each other a lot, I get along great with ehr kids and she with mine. I'm not sure if marriage should be explored just to protect her if something should happen. My insurance doesn't allow for SO's to be covered (but they would cover her if she were my "domestic partner"...but I digress).
It goes without saying that getting married just for the sake of getting her covered under insurance is a stupid reason, but there's a lot more to this relationship than that.
Anyway... | Neither wants the hassle of marriage, but I don't want her to go uninsured. Should it be discussed or run the risk? |
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