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t3_fir6b | AskReddit | Packing up and moving south | My wife and I have been completely miserable with our current living situation and location that we have been dealing with for the passed 2 years. So over the last few months we have been trying to decide if we should stay where we are and attempt to make things better or pack up and relocate and try our luck elsewhere. We don't have kids, neither of us love our jobs, and we have no attachment to our current location aside from her family.
I'm wondering if anyone else has done this? What is the best route to go as far as finding jobs and a place to live? We do have family in the area we are thinking about moving to and have done our research to find a city that has a decent employment rate and a lower cost of living than where we are now. | unhappy with current situation and want to move looking for tips to make this as easy as possible. |
t3_3gqexj | relationships | Me 19F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of a year and a half, started talking to a girl I'm uncomfortable with right after we broke up | So my boyfriend has a close friend that is a girl that we will call "Jen" and soon into the relationship with him I became uncomfortable with her and him spending time with her. She would often try to get him to break up with me because she says that I wasn't treating him right and that I was crazy. They would spend a lot of time hanging out together and I became jealous about that.
Eventually things escalated and I told him not to talk to her anymore and he promised he wouldn't. I was not okay with him hanging out with a girl that wanted to end our relationship and would shit talk me to him. Soon after I learned that he was still talking to Jen and would try to hide his conversations with her from me.
Recently we just broke up and I found out that he had texted her to hang out the day after. He had been trying to hide it again but I saw her texts on his phone. After I confronted him about it he lied about the circumstances but finally admitted it. I feel hurt and disgusted that he would go crawling back to her after we hit a bump in our relationship and thinking about ending things for good. He's been apologizing to me and saying that he loves me but I feel like he cares more about this girl than he ever will about me. Any advice? | Boyfriend talks to girl I dont want him talking to one day after we broke up. I feel like he cares about her more than me, what do? |
t3_2qc5ae | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1.5 years. She constantly worries about her period. | I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and a half now. We have been doing it about eight or nine months now but she worries that I got her pregnant literally every month. We are both really responsible kids and use protection every time. She doesn't want to take birth control and she has irregular periods. She is late a lot of the times if she stresses.
I don't know what to tell her. At first I used to not worry at all but now her stress is spilling over to me. I have a couple of questions--what do I tell her to make her not worry so much? Also, will I know for sure if my condom breaks/is it really obvious or can a condom have small tears? Help! | Is it really obvious if my condom breaks? |
t3_1mpgb9 | relationships | Me[26F] with my boyfriend [23M] Don't see eye to eye | Well He convinced me to let him move in. He helped clean, we did things together, and make each other happy.
For some reason though every weekend or day off from work, he would go home to his parents house which is an hour away. (every chance). He would leave right after work Friday and not come back till Sunday night around 10 pm.
I let this slide for the time being as this was only about 4 months into the relationship. I started to notice he would do less around the house and disappear during house work and yard work on the weekends. I am still doing everything.
I told him on several occasions since he filled my head with grand ideas, that we would work together to fix up my house and make it more homey for us to grow closer together.
Then I find out he is giving his mother tons of his money. He is always broke and has no good reason why he gives her all this money. Won't explain his need to go over there all the time. I realize this was a big issue and it needed confronting. After everything he seemed to be was a lie. I wasn't first on his list of priorities and he wouldn't explain why. He couldn't find an answer other than he enjoys his family on a possessive level I can't understand.
So I told him we should live separately for now and forced him to pack up and go back to his parents house. I can't compete when I am not the focus of a future together and now I don't know if I should let him think about his personal choices or just move on. | My boyfriend spends all his free time and money with his parents and doesn't seem to want to build a future together. |
t3_53tghi | relationships | My [22 M] girlfriend [20 F] of a year and seven months just broke up with me and I am so lost | Hi reddit don't mind me I just really needed a platform to talk about this. She said she had too many issues to continue being in a relationship and that staying in one would cause an eventual implosion. That's why she has to end things and fix herself before she can commit to a relationship again. From my knowledge she went through a pretty bad breakup before our relationship which also indirectly caused her to fall out with her family. I guess in the initial part of our relationship we could go strong by fuelling it with pure feelings alone but now things have gotten pretty bad. I'm at a loss as to what I can do right now. Every time I think of what we used to have I end up a crying wreck. I want to hear her voice so badly and to see her but she refuses and says it'll only do me harm. My eyes are swollen from all the crying since last night and I am having difficulty studying for my exams next week. | girlfriend broke up with me. I'm a wreck and can't focus on anything right now. Need advice |
t3_2bljsr | offmychest | Recent graduate, didn't get the job, and struggling to stay optimistic. | Sorry, this might be a bit long.
I've always been a pretty upbeat person when it comes to life, always having the attitude that I can attain anything I work hard enough at and love who I am. Recently though, it's just gotten harder and harder to keep thinking positive. My past failures, foregone opportunities, and the reality of where I am at in life keeps taking over the optimist in me. It's a daily struggle to stay positive and not think about the negatives.
A little background on me. I graduated in December with a B.Sc. in Economics from a state university, but with a horrid GPA (like 2.5). I never graduated High School and was basically a burnout even up to my junior year in college. I've been able to work at my fathers financial advising office for the majority of the past 5-6 years, but only in an administrative capacity and part-time.I'm trying to get into institutional finance, whether it be investment banking, research, or whatever, and looking all over the country for jobs. Oh, and currently I live at home, where my older sibling, their SO and child, just moved in as well.
The reason for my post is that I just found out yesterday that I didn't get the job that I drove 8hrs each way to interview for and I'm struggling to handle the emotional tole it's taken on me. I thought this was the one, that I did my best and came away thinking that I got the job but I didn't. It feels like another failure on top of the huge pile of failure that is my life. All that I can think about is why... why did I have to fuck up in HS, why did I fuck up in college, why can't I be successful.
You can't change the past, only learn from it, and move forward. I know this. But the longer this goes on, the harder it is to not see myself as a failure and the harder it is to wake up every day and keep trying. | I didn't get a job and feel like the biggest fuckup. I miss being happy with my life. |
t3_1dl5y0 | relationship_advice | So, the girl that I have fancied for 7 months thinks that I'm gay :S | So yeah, this girl that I have fancied for 7 months thinks that I am gay. Let me give you some basic facts about our relationship, we're friends but I thought that she knew that I fancied her seeing as I compliment her almost everyday, she is the only person in my flat that I thoroughly enjoy being around (I'm at university, she is the only girl in the flat and we're close). She used to sleep in my bedroom all the time because she would fall to sleep whilst watching the TV in my bedroom, but while she was asleep, I never did anything to her sexually, mainly because I am really shy and I have anxiety and another reason, being the obvious, I didn't want to fucking molest her while she was asleep. Also the other reason is she has a boyfriend and obviously I didn't want to get a punch. I am 21 years old but I am really old fashioned and I believe that all girls should be treated with respect, which is what I did, and it has sort of backfired. I was actually going to give her a letter telling her how I have fallen for her but I'm doubting whether to do that know :S. Just wondering has anyone one else had an experience like this? And any solutions of how I can stop being so....gay around her? lol. Well, i'm not gay but I think some of the stuff I do is gay, i'm really sensitive, I stay away from confrontations, I don't really talk to girls (but this is because I suffer from anxiety and depression and I never know what to say to girls), I watch romantic films by myself as well as TV shows that girls would like, such as The Vampire Diaries and Teen Wolf. Urgh it seems like I am rambling on now, sorry about this guys.
By the way, because of my anxiety and depression, I have never had a girlfriend which is why when she is always around me I never do anything sexually, my illness holds me back. I hate my life because of it....
Again, Sorry for the rambling. | The girl I fancy thinks I am gay, any solutions on how to get out of this predicament? :( |
t3_3xkdvr | dating_advice | Can a lonely person have some advice? | Prepare for a walk of text.
I have had a less than average life. My family is more on the broke side with almost the entirety of my life (M age 21) being spent in motels and shitty apartment. The debts my family has is kind of ridiculous. For this reason, and maybe more, I don't necessarily pursue dating. I feel like no girl would ever want to be brought into that so I don't make the effort.
But I'm a genuinely nice and attractive guy or so I've been told. Average gamer (league of legends), Reddit, anime, hip hop, modern news and shows (Holy shit I can't wait for Sherlock to come back). I'm a listener, an observer, and I do better when I talk one on one with a person than in parties. Hell, I get people to spill life stories within 10 minutes of knowing me. And almost never do they know my situation. But when it comes to girls I like, I see myself as a clingy doormat. I become too nice.
Maybe not with money since I don't have much, but when someone needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm there. When someone needs to take a walk and vent, I'm there. And whenever someone is mad, even if they don't wanna see me, I'll still check up and see if they're ok. I guess I wanna be seen as someone you can depend on no matter what.
Here's my problem: when I like someone, it hurts. I've told girls I liked them, but only a few. And those that I tell, always say there's someone much better than them. And they go on and date someone else. Has happened about twice to me. May not seem like a good enough number, but I don't like girls often because of the first part of my story. It makes me feel horrible. Makes me feel worthless.
That is how I'm feeling right now. So I confide to the people of Reddit to help me. What do you guys think? Are you guys just gonna be internet dicks that tell me I'm being a pussy and just man up? Maybe that is the solution. Thanks for the listen | am I just being a coward? |
t3_22t5sm | pettyrevenge | Revenge Brew | To start I have to explain that my Dad being the ~~Scottish~~ English man that he is enjoy at least 5 cups of tea/brews before he even gets dressed in the morning.
Not long after I moved in with my Dad we had a massive argument about something stupid, I can't even remember why now, but as we are too alike it was a big deal. My Dad stomps off to bed, leaving me stewing over the argument. In the middle of the night I decided to remove every single teabag I could find and hide them in a box under my bed.
Morning comes and my Dad stomps downstairs, both of us still not talking, ready for his morning cup of tea. Starts searching the kitchen but cannot find them anywhere. I saunter into the kitchen with my morning cuppa and refuse to share their hiding place until he apologises. I have never seen anyone so angry in my life, but after half an hour tea-related withdrawal must of been kicking in. He says he sorry and I return the precious tea. | Tea-lovers don't get their brew until they're sorry! |
t3_1b9k2m | relationships | My [20f] boyfriend [20m] has been blowing me off a lot lately to hang out with his friends. | We've been together for around 2 years and overall it's been a really good relationship.
Lately he's been blowing off plans with me to hang out (drink) with his guy friends. I don't mind him hanging out with them more, but I don't see why he always has to do it when he's already committed to hanging out with me. He never used to do this before.
Does this mean he's losing interest in me? Or maybe he's getting too comfortable and thinks blowing me off is okay? I've tried talking to him about it and he is really stubborn and thinks it's not a big deal. Or he backtracks and says he never really committed to the plans with me. We've been really happy for a long time and I know he's not cheating on me. What should I do? | Boyfriend keeps ditching me to hang out with his friends when we've already made plans and I don't know what to do. |
t3_4k83tz | tifu | TIFU by having sex and locking the bedroom door. | This fuck up started the day we purchased our house – since it all stems from that moment. The previous owners thought it was important to have a lock on their bedroom door, but not one of the nice easy pop locks, it was a keyed lock. Why someone needs a keyed lock for the bedroom door, I don't know.
So fast forward a little over two years, yesterday. My wife had been away on work for a week and had just got home. I wanted nothing more than to get some nice alone time in the bedroom, but with two little kids the door needs to be locked. So we are just getting started when there is a knock on the bedroom door – so glad there is a door lock. Get the little one back to bed, pray she stays down, and then get back to business. We finish and get to sleep with no more interruptions – no NSFW details, sorry.
Now this morning, we are getting ready, close the dogs in the bedroom, about to leave the house when I realize I forgot my antianxiety med in the bedroom. I go to open the door to find it locked. Apparently it opens from the inside locked, but not the outside. So now I sit here at work, wondering how I'm going to let the dogs out at lunch, how my anxiety is going to treat me today and how I'm going to explain to the kids why daddy is cutting the door out of the wall if I can't get it open. | – Locked bedroom door to keep kids out, had sex, never unlocked the door, locked dogs, meds and ego inside the bedroom. |
t3_17if9y | relationships | My GF[23f] told me [24m] a secret about two friends that I'm struggling to keep... | Original post:
Long story short: My GF[23f] told me [24m] a few weeks ago that our mutual friend, whom I'll call Cassy, [23f] cheated on her bf [23m] whom I'll call George. (My GF and I have been together almost three months.) Both of these two friends have been my friends since highschool. My GF has only known them both for a year, but my GF is best friends with Cassy, and Cassy told her about this issue in secret. Apparently, George knows about it, and is a dumbass and wants to "work through it."
My GF told me not to tell anyone, because she doesn't want Cassy to know she broke her confidence. But I'm not going to be friends with Cassy. Besides the fact that she cheated on George, she's also done a whole host of other things that makes me not want to be friends with her. So I blocked her on FaceBook, Twitter, instagram, the works.
Now her BF, George, texted me, asking what my issue is with his girlfriend. I'm not sure what to do.
1. I don't text back. I just stay out of it, never text him back. The problem is, is eventually, I WILL see them both in person.
2. I text him back part of the details. I tell him everything that bothers me about her, BESIDES the cheating stuff. But then this might make it awkward in public when we all hang out.
3. I just say fuck it and tell him, "BECAUSE SHE CHEATED ON YOU.", and hope my GF doesn't get too mad. Total honesty, all out there, and no awkwardness in public.
Which should I do? | GF told me a secret that I acted on by blocking a girl on FB, but I'm being asked why, and I'm not supposed to know the real reason. |
t3_2up6y2 | offmychest | I hope you read this, someday. | Vivienne,
A single mother with 5 children couldn't of been easy and I apologise for the hardship I caused you.
At the time, I didnt fully understand what you were going through and I guess I had so many mixed emotions, that I didn't think of you. I lost the reasons why I love you, I lost my home, I lost you.
But you were my rock and it took me a long time to realise why I love you. It's your heart, bigger than anyone's I know. You cared for your children with the deepest care, nurture, kindness.
And I will always love you for that. I will never take what you gave me for 21 years for granted even though I did at the time but you are a beautiful example of a mother who cared so much for her kids that she deserves the world.
You taught me patience, kindness, forgiveness among many other things. You'd make a room light up just with your presence and you cared when no one else did.
I will always love you, forever and always. You are the moon to my sky.
I love you, mam. | A letter to my mother |
t3_29mir0 | tifu | TIFU by basically donating $150 to EA. | A little background: Living in the U.S. soccer had always been a "pussy sport", and my parents never put me into a youth league or anything like that. I had never played soccer at all until last summer when my soccer playing friends introduced me to EA's FIFA video game series. We would have FIFA tournaments every week and they were really fun, so I bought FIFA13 and started playing real soccer with them too. (sidenote: I have been playing/watching soccer for over 9 months now and I love it.)
I bought FIFA14 when it came out, and I would play the FUT game mode where you can spend real money to buy packs where you can try to get the best real life players for your squad. It started out with a simple $10 charge to my debit card to get my team started. After a bunch of playing and months of time passed by I had a very formidable team. The microtransactions made it so I didn't feel like I was spending very much. I couldn't have been more naive, in a span of six months I donated $150 straight to EA so that I have some virtual players on a video game.
The worst part other than the waste of my personal funds is that I am a relatively light spender in the FIFA universe. There are children over in the UK spending in excess of 500 British pounds of their parents money on FIFA sometimes on a monthly basis.
I hate EA and all of their moneymaking douchebaggery, and now my debit card is never going to be linked to my xbl account ever again. | spent $150 on microtransactions in FIFA14, and I don't even play all that much. |
t3_1yjvk9 | relationship_advice | My [22/m] history with my newish girlfriend [21/f] is sort of complicated, is our relationship a bad idea? | So I've known this girl since high school, thought she was super cute but never really talked to her. Flash forward to college. Shes into the same kind of music that me and my friends are into so we end up going to the same shows a lot. My friend and I both think she was real cool. She started hooking up with my friend for a month or two. They end it, never really a relationship though. Then they stop talking. A few months go by and we start texting, a lot. Since I have little to no game I start to develop a crush. I then find out she slept with another friend of mine. Utterly devastated, I try to stop all communications with her. I wanted to get my mind off of her. Somehow she suckered me into hanging out with her again. I tell her my feelings and now we are dating. I guess I am just wondering if this is a shitty way to start a relationship. Personally I've had a hard time getting over the fact that she slept my two of my friends. I think I really like her though. | girl I had a crush on slept with two of my friends, somehow we started dating. Is this a bad way to start a relationship? |
t3_4w2fes | Advice | 17/F I'm turning 18 tomorrow, and I need to get my shit together. | A bit of background, up until the start of July I was tangled up in drama surrounding toxic relationships, with me serving as under-qualified and rather shitty therapist. It ended with both my closest friend and my boyfriend at the time trying to OD a few days apart (not a fun week, I assure you). We're all doing fine now and getting different brands of professional care. Point is though, it put a great deal of responsibilities on the back burner, and I'm only now trying to get back to them. I don't have a job, I don't have my full driver's licence, and I don't have a clue as to where to start. I'm heading off to university in a matter of weeks and there's so much I know I need to settle out. Any advice, guys? | I was trying to keep my two closest friends alive and I've put off adulting until now. How do I start? |
t3_17b5mh | AskReddit | Hi Reddit, have you ever connected with a literary character on a personal level? If so, what character and why? | My personal connection is with Katniss Everdeen from the hunger games. In the book Katniss' father dies when she is 11 and her mother basically checks out due to crippling depression. When I was 14 my father died of a combination cirrhosis and Hep. C. After which my mother much like Katniss' mother checked out. It wasn't as bad as her on the verge of starvation. She only worked part-time and moved us to Utah. My mother also self medicated and abused prescription meds. If that wasn't good enough my older brother was the same. All the while I was receiving social security once a month. Meant to be used for my college, but do to my mothers inability to find a full time job and living with 2 addicts I was the bread winner till I was eighteen and moved out. those 4 years were hard. Not because of the money, but because my mom was so enraptured in her own grief that she couldn't see past it to see her son grieving just as bad. That and the fact that I had to step up and be the strong one. | Katniss and I both had to grow up fast. |
t3_n97rh | AskReddit | AskReddit: Thank you for your advice. (story explained inside) | A few months ago I met this boy who was on a business trip in my city that was really cool. a few drinks later he ended up coming back to my house, turning my offer down to hook up due to "body issues" going on about how he feels self-conscious bc he used to be fat and is still not sexually experienced. He just peaces out of my house, I just felt really rejected claiming BS, he just wasn't attracted to me for whatever reason. AWKWARD NIGHT.
I claimed bullshit, but went to AskReddit on a throwaway account going into detail about what happened that night, and if this was bullshit, if this was worth pursuing etc. Overwhelming reaction: HELL YES.
So, I decided to give him another chance. Sent him an e-mail saying i totally understood why he left, and would love to see him again. We live on separate coasts and have seen each other a few times since then. He just flew into California to visit me this weekend, all the way from the east coast.
So, AskReddit, just wanted to say thank you for making that happen. Who knows what will happen from here, but for now, I'm in a happy place :) | Met a boy. Shit happened. Asked Reddit for Advice. It worked! |
t3_3awrsv | tifu | TIFU by questioning my crush's existence | There's this girl that's in my first two classes.
I've never had a conversation with her more than a subtle "thank you" for holding the door.
Always found her kinda cute but it never came to me to actually approach her and say something.
It's the end of the year now and I decided to gain some courage and say something to her.
Class rolls around.
I'm in class freaking out with my friend trying to figure out what I should say to her or what should be a decent conversation starter.
She has no fucking clue.
Class ends, but I mustered up enough confidence to approach her.
"(Let's call her K)K!"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you a quick question if you don't mind?"
"Oh..uh sure."
"(guides her to walk into the hall with me)"
"...so what were you going to ask."
"You see...*stammer*I was going...*more stammer*"
"What is it?"
"...Who are you?"
"..."
"..."
"...uh, I...uh, I don't know?"
"...oh..."
"...*speed walks away*"
Now my friends keep cutting me off in the middle of conversations just to ask; "Who are you?" | Tried to start a conversation with my crush, provoked an existential crisis instead. |
t3_4oqoyn | relationships | Me [17 M] and my Brother [19 M] Have been fighting, and nobody cares enough. | live in Kansas, and am a 17 year old boy. My brother (let's call him Richard) had taken a console out of my room so he could play it in his. This lead to a verbal argument, and once the name-calling started, Richard began to attack me in order to teach me a lesson. Tackling me in my own room, and started to choke with one of his arms. He would have started punching me with the other if I hadn't used both hands to grab it in effort of preventing it.
My oldest brother (We'll call him Shawn) of 23 years old eventually broke up the fight and alerted our mom. My mother started scolding Richard for his behavior, and then... nothing.
Richard has a long history of violence, and we've fought plenty of times, and he's gotten nothing but the wag of a finger every time. He's caused so much trouble outside and inside the family including the selling and use of drugs, large-scale fights, and break ins. I'm growing very tired of it.
I'm not a strong guy! I collect things, and am a homebody. Richard's the largest person in the house and I don't stand much of a chance...
My parents have said that there's nothing they can do beyond telling Richard to learn his lesson, with my dad adding that we'll just have to learn to get along. That's insane. Richard hasn't learned a thing from all the trouble he's been involved in and he's certainly not going to learn now.
Please help. Any help and advice is appreciated. Thank you. | Brother attacked me and nobody in the house wants to do anthing about it beyond telling him it's wrong. |
t3_280c8q | relationships | I (29f) live with the worst person (29f) I've ever met and I don't know what to do to anymore. | You read right, the worst person I've ever met. Anyone that knows her can't stand to be around her for too long, the only relationship she can maintain is with her Mom and only because she can't get away from her.
Her name is Stephanie and she behaves as though she's either eight or twelve years old at any given time. She's only worked maybe two jobs in her whole life and each was for less than 3 months and refuses to learn to drive. She contributes nothing yet feels entitled to everything and *will* use anything she wants without asking and without remorse. She whines, throws tantrums, and never accepts any criticism for anything. We have to watch her when she cooks or turns on the oven because she almost burned a house down by not taking a frozen pizza out the box before putting it in the oven. Just last week she almost let the house fill with gas because she turned the stove on and didn't turn it off while looking for something to light it with, she wanted to roast fucking marshmallows.
Her mother is the reason she's like this, giving her everything she asks for (junk food, a dog, even a *baby*) and defending her when people get tired of her behavior and tell her to get lost. It usually takes a while because when meeting her you'd think she was mentally challenged but she *isnt*. She's never been diagnosed with anything that remotely resembles a mental handicap so she's not even eligible for disability.
There are now four women including myself that live in a one bedroom apartment that doesn't have central air. At this very moment she's whining to her mom about how she's hot and wants her to do something about it, we're both trying our hardest to ignore her because saying anything will just make her talk more and we *need* her to shut her fucking mouth before we shut it for her.
Does anybody know anyone else like this? How would you deal with a person like her? If you were going to get rid of her (legally) how would you do it? | A woman my age that I'm forced to live with is useless in every way and I want her out of my damn life. |
t3_1bayb8 | relationships | I(23F) feel that my husband (25M) doesn't want me physically anymore | We have been married a little over a year.
At first our sex life was very active. At least 5 days out of a week. Sometimes multiple times in a day. In January we had a longer break because of our fight and we (he) thought that would be better if we won't have sex for a month.
We almost did it, but we gave up and during this one month period we had sex once in a week.
Now it's almost April and we do it 3 times ( most of the time even less..) in a week. I am still so in love with him and want him, but he clearly isn't interested anymore. I have tried to be sexy and sneaky and make him to want me, but he always pushes me away with some kind of excuse.
What to do??? | Husband doesn't want to have sex with a wife anymore. |
t3_1pwjlo | relationships | How does a relationship look like? | I'm[21m] dating my ex [19f].
We meet each other once maybe two times a week. She's busy, all the time, she sometimes flakes on me if something comes up [something important, in her mind, did it at least 2 times already].
We don't text, barely talk on facebook. She doesn't reposnd to my txts / msgs and if I ask after some time if everything is ok, she says something along these lines "yes, it's ok, I'm just busy and didn't have time to answer / forgot to do so / had a lot on her head". Every time, all the time.
I've absolutely no idea what's going on with her life, because, hey, we don't talk and meet very often.
She's independent, likes to live on her own. I admire that, though I don't know if that's something I'm into.
My questions:
-how did you know your current partner is the "right one"?
-how did you figure out what you want out of relationship?
-how am I supposed to approach this situation? something like "feelings talk"? I don't want to come of as clingy and needy-cry-baby. | No communication in a "relationship" [if I can call it like that]. How do I approach that? Set up a date and talk this through? And what then? If nothing changes? Break up? |
t3_3s0lno | relationships | Me [21 F] and my friend [22 M] of four years - how to handle friendship fading away. | Me and 'Andy' met at university and were good friends for the four years we were there. Every holiday he would be terrible keeping in touch, sometimes to the point that I'd be surprised that he'd ask me out for a pint or whatever once term started again.
I accepted early on that his communication just sucked and that was fine, we'd carry on being friends regardless.
Then came the end of university and we went our seperate ways, him promising he would make an effort to keep in touch.
I'd send him a message every now and again (after he'd come back from holiday, when he moved to a new city etc.) but never heard anything back, apart from a thank you for the birthday card I sent.
I figured, he's busy, I'll give him time to get back to me (usually several weeks), before I'd try again to strike up a conversation.
The other week I saw he was online on facebook so figured I'd try one last time, asking how his new Masters course was going and mentioning that I'd been trying to get in touch, was his phone broken or something.
He saw it immediately (thank you for that feature) but didn't get back to me.
Again, I waited over a week for some response - nothing.
I think I'm just going to have to accept that he isn't committed to making this friendship last and I need some advice on how to handle it. It's making me feel low, confused and a little worthless.
I realise he is terrible at communicating but from my view that is no reason to ignore a friend for several months without any apparent reason.
Has anyone been through anything similar? I'd really like some advice on how to get through this, or what may be going through his head?
Tbh I'm starting to get to the point where I wonder if I even want to try and keep a friendship alive with someone who apparently has no time for me.
*Side note - just in case anyone is wondering, there was never any romantic/sexual things between us - he has a very long term girlfriend who he's super in love with and I'm gay. | Good friendship seems over without any explanation and I need advice on how to accept and understand it. |
t3_4tocay | relationships | Would it be rude of me (23F) to buy a game for my SO (20M) because I want to play Co op? | So my boyfriend and I both play a lot of video games, some together and some alone. Recently the new monster hunter game came out, which I've been super excited about, and he's voiced some interest in it after hearing that the series can be comparable to Dark Souls.
I would really love to play Co op with him. I'm still pretty new to the series (MH4U was my first and I never reached G rank) so we could work our way up together. Also, we have different play styles in these sorts of games which could be complementary: he likes slower heavier hitting weapons and good blocking power, while I always forgo shields in favor of maneuverability and dodging.
In our relationship, I cover most of the expenses for dates and the such. I am perfectly content with this, as I can comfortably cover the costs while he's short on cash. I realize though that buying a video game for someone is rather different than covering a date, and it's not exactly a typical gift since it's closer to my personal interests. I'm not really sure what social etiquette would dictate regarding this, so I'm worried that it might be rude. | I pay for most dates since I have more extra cash than my SO. He's expressed interest in the monster hunter series. I'd like to buy him a copy of the game, so we can play Co op. Would this be rude? |
t3_1pd5xw | relationships | My [22/F] boyfriend [21/M] of 1.5 years has trouble sleeping, possibly due to death of a family member last year and his fear of death | Not sure if this is the right place to put this. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. Just a few months after we got together, a very loved member of his family died. We are still dealing with the repercussions today, however, a conversation we had a few nights ago really brought home to me how badly it still affects him.
He is always tired and has been for pretty much the duration of our relationship. The first problem is that he has a health condition which causes him to be more lethargic and need more sleep than others - not much we can do about that. Another problem is his diet - we both need to work on that and we are taking steps to eat better. However the other problem is that he stays up late most nights because he is afraid to go to sleep. He has an irrational fear of death that he just cannot get over, especially when it's time to go to bed and he can lay awake and think about it in depth. His family member's death may have brought it on or worsened it. He says he hasn't had a good night's sleep in about 2 years.
I don't know how to help him get over what we both know is an irrational fear, and that worrying about it won't help anything. I was once irrationally afraid of death too, but life experiences led me to accept it. But there is nothing I can say to him to give him those experiences.
It would improve his quality of life tremendously if he could be refreshed after a night's sleep. Being constantly exhausted affects every part of his life and there is nothing I want more than to see him get better. My thoughts are a visit to the doctor to rule out any other physical conditions (i.e. diabetes, chronic fatigue) and then to a therapist to try and resolve his fear. I'm not sure how he would take the therapy option, and I have my own reservations about therapy, but we have tried everything and at this point I would do anything to help him. | boyfriend has trouble sleeping due to physical condition, but also because of very strong, irrational fear of death. Want to help him. Thinking of therapy. How to go about it? |
t3_3pt30p | relationships | Can I [19M] date a younger girl [16F]? What's the biggest age difference you consider acceptable? | So I like this girl who's 3 years younger than myself. She's a very mature person and we get along really well, and I wanted to ask her out. I don't feel awkward about the situation but I'm not sure how people would view it, not that I care that much but it's something to consider. I know age gaps mean less and less as you get older. A 29 year old can very acceptably date a 24 year old, but an 18 year old can't date a 13 year old (I'm sure you get my point).
Also, as for the legal side, we're not going to be having sex due to cultural and religious beliefs etc. so that's not an issue, before anybody mentions it! So what age gap would you consider as the maximum for someone who's 18 recently turned 19? | Can a 19 year old date a 16 year old as long as both parties are mature and have good chemistry? What could be the issues? Too weird or normal? |
t3_3cbgv3 | relationships | How to stop fighting with my best friend? [21 M] & [22 M] | We've known each other about 3 years now. And things have been good and bad before, and we'll be really close sometimes and more distant other times. Neither of us have a ton of other friends. I like him a bit more than he does me, but that's just more so because I'm a more dependent person and he's a very independent person.
That being said, even during our good times, when things will have been cool for months. We'll argue/fight. About misunderstandings, or disagreements, or just over what actually happened. And in the moment I act very selfishly and I think being right is the more important thing. But afterwards I know it's not, I don't care and I wish I didn't try so hard to be 'right'. I wish I could have this mindset during the moment when I'm getting heated.
I need advice on how to not fight/argue. We're pretty close and have known each other a long time I feel like. So I assume this is the same kind of things couples go through and if they can't deal with it they breakup/divorce, so honestly I feel like the same advice that applies to couples could apply here. Please help guys, I'd rather work through this than lose my friend. | Close best friend for 3 yrs and I fight too much. Advice on how to not fight? Especially in the heat of the moment. |
t3_2zhm1s | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf[27M] of 2 years, won't help me in an emergency? | I don't know if I am being unfair to my bf but here is the deal:
My toilet overflowed and half my room got flooded. I'd say there is about 30 articles of clothing, 2 coats, 5 pairs of shoes soaked, rug ruined. Maintenance was able to suck out the water and give me a humidifier but my room reeks of a chemical smell that makes me hard to sleep and I now need to sanitize the floor because of the toilet water.
My bf's sister flew into the city last week and was staying with her girlfriends. She's going to stay at his apartment for the next 3 days. They're meeting up tonight and I asked if it would be ok if he spends about 2 hours with me to help me clean up so i dont spend all night doing this. 4 hands better than one! He says he wants to help but he promised his sister that they would meet after work and would feel bad if he had to leave her alone for 2 hours, and says he cannot spend time to help me out and won't offer an alternative solution
I'm ok if this was an isolated solution but we had problems in the past where he won't help me when I had to move. I broke up with him, but he promised he changed regarding that.. | bf won't help me clean for a bit because he needs to be with his sister? Am I wrong to expect some help from him? |
t3_1q0xuv | AskReddit | why the apathy and ridicule of protests. | People on here constantly bitch and complain about the corruption and problem with in the political systems of many countries. the dangerous global influence of corporations the constant wars and more local issues such as gay rights, welfare cuts, i could go on and on.
When OWS started the majority of this site were excited and did a lot to help awareness support the protesters either directly or just doing the little they could online.
A lot of the media of course when't after the fringes presenting those either mentally ill/ attention seekers / homeless at the edge of society that these types of protests naturally attract for various reasons.
People like fox news attack and mocked the protesters but that was transparent enough for people to see thought. others attacked the protest because they could not get a sound byte of what the protesters stood for.
and despite having 24 hour news very few people actually tried to explain the nuance of the situation, the old school tv media as it is patronising there viewers and thinking they have the attention span of a 5 year old with ADD.
then phrases like "slacktivism" started to appear. people online i guess stared to get bored, its like they fell for the media idea of what the protests was.
any way back to my point, recently (nov 5th) at many locations globally including out side parliament there where protests cropping up allover the place. how ever all i see of it on reddit is mockery.
for example on /r/cringe pics there is this post where redditors mock a disabled person protesting almost certainly in part because of cuts in welfare, this person with obvious disabilities is being mock for taking the effort to travel in to the middle of a busy city just to be counted as a another number in the crowd to at least try and make a difference, all what does reddit do, mock fedoras and double chins.
even on /r/london usually much more supportive than the rest of reddit the apathy is shown .
so i guess my question is, what the fuck is wrong with you people | read it or just move on, ready for the downvotes. and yea i am sure there are lots of errors in this post dislexia is a bitch at least i tried. |
t3_3tlbzt | relationships | Is it okay for me Me [22F] to get annoyed with my boyfriend [34 M] of three years for not living healthy lifestyle? | Please refrain from talking about our ages, it really doesn't have anything to do with the situation.
My boyfriend has ankylosing spondylitis which is a pretty painful genetic disease that affects the back. It can only stay the same, or get worse. This can affect his stomach due to inflammation. By following a healthy diet he can live with little pain. This includes staying away from foods with gluten, lots of starch, and not drinking or smoking cigarettes. Because of his illness he is immune compromised.
Every time he gets sick, like a cold or cough, it is worse than usual because of the medication he takes. However, he refuses to go to the doctor for a week, usually just complaining about how sick he is in the meantime while putting off the doctor visit. I am getting so sick and tired of hearing this over and over again. If he is sick, can't he just go to the doctor like a normal person? It is even worse with food. If he eats too much rich food, he will usually have terrible stomach pain for days after. I feel terrible about this, but can't understand why he continues to eat poorly WHEN HE KNOWS what the end result will be.
An example of this was last NYE when we went out to dinner. He ate too much food that he well knows would hurt his stomach, then drank coffee that he for sure knows will hurt his stomach. When we stopped home in-between meeting with friends, his stomach pain was unbearable and we had to stay in. I try and not get annoyed, but how hard could it be to just follow the right diet for your illness?
I don't want anybody to think I am cold hearted. I love my boyfriend dearly. I just am getting very frustrated with dealing with the same situation over and over again. I just can't stand hearing him complain about how sick he feels when he is doing nothing to help himself. | My boyfriend does not lead healthy lifestyle in regards to his illness, I need help figuring out how to approach this issue without hurting his feelings or him getting angry with me. |
t3_30sbsu | relationships | Me [17 M] with my boyfriend [17 M] broke up because of rather irrational reasons, but it shattered me. I don't know how to proceed now. | Alright, I know I am young and probably should not even begin complaining about a 6-month relationship, but I cannot help but be extremely distressed over it. I need help
We've been together for 6 months as said, with short-term break ups because of arguments. But last night I am afraid it was the final break up. It all started from me saying I just needed more attention from him. Then it evolved into a discussion on how he is highly independent and doesn't consider and sometimes doesn't even want to give others attention. Not even me.
What makes it so devastating was that it seemed such a perfect relationship, we've been so happy with each other - he's been so loving. Maybe I'm just an idiot for saying the part with needing more attention. On the other hand, he confessed he's loved me out of pity all this time but it seems just impossible - could he -really- have loved me just out of pity yet he was so loving and considerate?
I'm honestly at a loss of words; I'm devastated by this loss. I can't pull myself together and I want to restore the relationship one way or another. I've been through a hell and back for his sake. I -need- him. He didn't even want to remain friends ... I need some help with what I can do... I just can't continue without him :/ | Broke up because he wanted to be independent and loved me out of pity. I need him back because I'm devastated and I'm still in love with him like crazy. What do I do? |
t3_1x7ejh | AskReddit | (Serious) Older guys of Reddit, would it bother you if your girlfriend was an underwear model? | Serious question. I'm fortunate enough to be with a very attractive girl, who's very comfortable with her body. She did underwear modelling in the past before we were together, and the brands she worked for are quiet provocative, with sheer products etc.
She recently booked to do more, and the thought of her being mostly naked around other guys makes me feel uncomfortable disrespected. Is this weird?
This isn't a judge of her character so please let's not make it about that, it's a judge of My character. I trust her completely and I'm not worried about her cheating. I just think nudity / underwear is intimate, and that should only be shared with your significant other... Perhaps I'm old fashioned
No pics, and in before "mtfu". | my girlfriend is about to be photographed in sheer underwear, how would you feel about this? |
t3_4q9uw1 | pettyrevenge | Touch my glass? No muffins for you. | I work grocery store deli, located in a small town, because of this all chores around the department are done by the person on shift alone. Out of three employees I am the only one to clean the front display glass for the deli on a regular basis.
So one Sunday I am trudging through the usual work to be done such as wiping down benches, scrubbing the floor etc when a customer approaches the counter. This customer, like a lot of customers do on a daily basis leans all across the counter, smudging the glass I cleaned not one hour before. A lot of men must think it's some sort of bar, the way they lean all over it. Now usually when customers do this I am powerless to stop them. This is where that customer fucked up.
The oaf asks me "Do you have the power to reduce things around here? These muffins were baked on Friday." I tell the customer that because we are such a small and independently owned store reducing muffins cooked just 3 days ago would be a waste and I also inform him that the bakery department does not work on weekends, nor can I reduce these muffins for you. The customer then puts the muffins back, defeated. Not reducing the muffins is no sweat off my back. | Don't touch my fucking glass! Someone has to clean it. |
t3_4bfku8 | relationships | Me [23 M] and my ex [22 F] of one month, are going to see each other for the first time since breaking up | We separated amicably since she was going through a stressful period and needed time alone, and I was starting to get really busy in terms of school and work. Later this week we are going to hang out just as friends for the first time. The plan is to see a screening of the new Batman/Superman movie and then get drinks after. I'm nervous about how exactly I should behave, since our split wasn't due to a fight or anything, and there's even a slight chance in the future we could mend things and go back to the way things used to be. However I don't want to give off any of those vibes since we should be platonic above all else, at the same time I don't want to make her feel weird. | Seeing ex for first time since break up, want to avoid making things too weird |
t3_1soqvc | relationships | I [19F] have become the crazy ex-girlfriend when it comes to my ex [21 M] of 2.5 years | **Background:**
My ex and I were basically the perfect couple for two years. In the whole time we've known each other we've fought once and immediately made up. He was kind, considerate, loving, selfless and everything I could ask for and more. After two years in the relationship, I moved across the state to go to university. We tried to make it work, but I broke it off after winter break due to the distance. We stayed single for the semester and unofficially got back together during the summer but split amicably when I left.
**Fast Forward:** We've both tried moving on, I began dating and had a sexual relationship with another boy which ultimately ended after about three months. I found out yesterday from a mutual friend that he(my ex) has had a sex with two other girls and I am completely devastated. I cant talk to him or think about him without feeling physically nauseous because all I can picture is him on top of someone else. I am completely aware that I am being unfair and hypocritical, but I have no idea about how to change how I feel! We have the exact same circle of friends, so there's a pretty good chance I'm going to be spending the majority of winter break with him.
I've thought about it, and I'm pretty sure I'm so upset because of two reasons.
1. He was basically the best boyfriend ever. I still almost feel as if we are dating so I feel very betrayed. He was also incredibly loving and gentle, I would never have imagined him capable of casual sex.
2. Now that I'm one of three girls hes slept with, I'm a lot less special now.
He's all I've been able to think about since I found out. I check his facebook all the time and the profiles of the girls. I feel emotionally drained, and it's been about a year since we've officially broken up, I should be over it by now. | The ex I'm clearly not over has had sex with two girls and I have no idea how to stop the feelings of hatred, disgust, and hurt out of my head when I see him over break |
t3_3dr31p | relationships | Me 26f with bf 25m. He likes tiny girls and said this during sex. Cause for alarm?? | Basically during sex bf said he likes to imagine me as his jailbait 16 year old schoolgirl. 16 is legal where he's from. I was a bit weirded out by it. Time past and he hasn't brought it up. But he mentioned how he thought tiny girls were hot. Like short 4ft 11 or 5ft girls were hot to him. And showed me a photo of one. She seriously looks like a teenager but it was a shot he got off some porn site so she had to be over 18. Super tiny and short though she is probably 18, and doing some porn. He says he thinks its hot when a tiny girl meaning short is with a tall guy hes 6ft. And says he likes short girls more than tall girls. Is this cause for alarm? Is this some sort of fetish? Like big guys like tiny girls? | is my bf creepy or is this normal? |
t3_3j6b1t | tifu | TIFU by not making a move | Guys, I fucked up. I really fucked up. I'm really into this girl. I have been for quite some time now. All of my friends have been bugging me for months telling me to make a move. I really wanted to, but I am a little shy and was kinda afraid to. And you know what? Fuck me for being such a pussy. So today we're hanging out. Having a great time and couldn't be happier. So she needs to go early and says it's because she is going to get house decor. Why? Because she is moving. At first I'm not worried because I thought it wouldn't be far. Well, I was wrong. She is moving across the country. I really wish I would've gone for it. My advice to you is if you are into someone, go for it. Fucking go for it because you never know what could happen. | Didn't go for someone who I liked quickly enough. Now she is moving and I am sad :( |
t3_42qekh | relationship_advice | Crush [17/F] is going on a date; considering options [16/M] | I've been holding in my feelings for a while, because I was worried I might ruin the relationship we have. We're close, long-distance friends, and have been for a few years, but she just got asked out/asked someone out. Should I just move on? If I go down that road, it's going to be really hard to. I also still want to tell her how I feel, but would it be too awkward/inappropriate to? I'm not bitter towards the guy or gal, because I'm not that kind of person, but I am angry at myself for not saying anything sooner. In the end, though, I just want for her to be happy. Their date isn't for a few weeks. Thoughts? Sorry if this question gets asked a lot, but I'm in panic mode right now. | crush is going on a date, don't know where to go from here. |
t3_3448aj | self | My opinion about gay people | As human being I don't hate gay people. I don't hate them nor love them. They are the same as any person on this earth. I am just disgusted by the action or the idea that a man is screwing another man.
If you are gay guy and you are good person and respectfully I will respect you because you for that. If I ever hate any person or any gay person , I wouldn't hate them for being gay, I will hate them for they did ( if they did something wrong).
There are many gay people who act like normal people, those are normal and I have to respect them as any person. However, there are many people, not just gay people, including straight guys who act like fagots if you know what I mean, those are the one I don't like to interfere or even see. I have gay teacher, he is my favorite teacher of my school. I like him, I am not disgusted by him or anything.
All in all or | I don't hate gay people, I am disgusted by people who act like fagots, no matter what they are, gay or straight. |
t3_52ms1y | relationships | I [23 M], anxious around women since puberty, KV, soon to go to uni, NSFW | I sometimes post on r/foreveralone, i but I am seeking advice here because there are more people. I have never had a relationship, held hands, or kissed. I am also slightly attracted to men.
The closest I have ever been was for a couple days two years ago where I got a lot closer to a female friend, however I believe she expected me to make a move and I never did. I had become close friends and very comfortable in her company for the year leading up to that point.
I think the main reasons are ordinary fears and anxiety, but also phimosis. I think I have solved this issue, I am now able to retract the foreskin over the glads, and i hope I will be able to have sex. A relationship with another person would be nice but I would prefer just to not be anxious around women and not sweating buckets whenever I talk to one.
I live in the UK and have access to the NHS but have never told my doctor any of these sorts of problems. For the last year I have been living with my parents and am starting to feel like I'm losing my mind due to barely interacting with anyone. I want to make the most of going to uni and stop being anxious around women.
Anyone else who was previously FA or extremely anxious around women will having sex reduce anxiety I am having? I have been thinking about investing in some sweat pads for my armpits.
Thanks for reading and sorry if this is all over the place, typing on mobile. | M 23 FA virgin, anxious around women, looking for some advice, validation, fear from phimosis, and will having sex reduce anxiety? |
t3_2msrby | relationships | Me (27m) and gfs (29) attitude, is this normal? | Hey. Been seeing some traits in my girlfriend lately that I don't like. I recently found out that she was one of the 'hot' kids in high school. One of the ones that smokes weed, drinks a lot, has sex a lot etc. How do I know about this? She told me! Now I don't care what she did in her past, but she still has the same mentality. She is constantly getting drunk, even on weeknights, and it's really starting to bug me. Her personality totally changes.
Do people grow out of this childish behaviour? She's totally self concious and has low esteem, and even with all the compliments and attention I give her, she still seeks it from everyone else.
I can't put up with all the drama any more, and she thinks she can say and do what ever she wants.
What's the best way to tackle it? Thanks | girlfriend still thinks she's one of the cool kids in high school, can say or do what ever she wants without respect for anyone. Starting to affect the relationship |
t3_2wp5rx | Advice | Moving to London, leaving family, friends, and my first love. Any advice? Mutual break up? | I'm a male 20 y/o moving to London to freelance and follow my passion.
I will be leaving my quiet family home in the countryside, along with my friends and a girl who I've been dating for 8 months, we both agree we would benefit from being single after I move so we can get on with our lives despite loving each other a lot.
My girlfriend doesn't really have a family and only a few friends. It's going to hurt her badly and I feel terrible for being the cause but If I support her through this It might turn into a LTR (seeing each other maybe once a month) which would be unhealthy for both of us in the long run. I really don't know how to handle this??
I feel although if we both met each other mid twenties when we're more financially and mentally stable we'd settle down (we're the opposite and the relationship is unhealthy long term, I believe being single will force us to conquer our insecurities directly).
Also my mum pretty much lives by herself (due to my dad working away 6 days a week) and she doesn't have much of a social life, I'm scared that she will get lonely being by herself in the house. I've been encouraging her to join a club and go out with her works friends more but I don't think she will. We have a dog which we help.
I'll only be 2 hours away from home so I'll be visiting once a month which isn't so bad but I'm expecting the first month or so to be painful. I want to stay but I desperately need to get on and do something with my life, travel, meet new people etc. Not doing so makes me depressed.
I'm scared of leaving everything I know behind. But I'm just as scared of doing nothing my life.
What's the best way to go about all of this? | Mutal break up, lonely Mother |
t3_3m1gu1 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my GF [28 F] 1.5 yrs, starting to get uncomfortable with the amount of time she is around other dudes. | My GF has been the type to have more dude friends than girl friends. It took me a while to become comfortable with this fact. Recently she got the idea of AirBnBing her 2 bedroom apartment out to make money. A lot of the times her guests are guys. She tends to fill the apartment up with as many people (usually guys) as possible. So usually there are 2-3 people in the living room and the other bedroom is taken up by a person, so she can have anywhere from 3-4 guests at any given time. Tonight she told me she has a total of five guys sleeping at her place. She overbooked her apartment so she had to give up her room. She asked me if it was OK if she came and slept at my place and I said yes of course no problem. I work in the mornings so I shot her a text about 30 mins b4 midnight telling her I was going to bed soon. She texted me back saying she is tired and is going to crash on the couch. I am extremely uncomfortable with the fact that she has five dudes crashing at her place and that she is deciding to stay at her place. I am not usually the insecure type but I think she is really pushing the boundaries here. Is it normal to be concerned or should I not worry about it? | Girlfriend AirBnB's her apartment to make money. Tonight she has five guys crashing at her place. Initially she told me she would stay at my place because she had to give up her bedroom but suddenly she decided she was going to crash on the couch. This bothers me. |
t3_3n9ovr | tifu | TIFU by reading an app review | So this happened a few weeks ago but it was still a major fuck up.
So i was looking for reviews for the adult swim app and there's a review that says "you lost the game". I was confused at first thinking, I didn't know there was a game in the app. I thought it was just a streaming app. Then i read the next sentence
> You know, the one that you lose by thinking of it.
After reading that i just blankly look up from my phone in shock. I hadn't lost the game in 3+ years.
So fast-forward to the next day. Because I'm a dick, I start telling my friends " hey, you lost the game" the normal response was usually "fuck you" or something along those lines. However one person didn't know what the game was so I explained it to him.
That was my second mistake.
Because I was the first person to tell him about it, whenever he saw me he would associate me with and and tell me I lost the game. This went on for a few days usually twice a day but now I have the same effect. Whenever I see him I think of him seeing me thinking about the game. So every time I see him (twice a day) I remember "the game" and lose. | I read an app review now I always lose the game |
t3_r8gcm | BreakUps | Nice weather, makes me miss her more? | Southern Ontario has been having ridiculously nice weather for the last week or so, and everyone's dressing for the weather. I saw my ex sitting in the sun in one of the grassy fields on campus yesterday, had to walk right past her on my way to class.
I've seen her on campus before since the breakup, any been able to ignore her, maybe feel a little down for 10 minutes, but then I've been fine. This time I saw her, felt down for 10 minutes or so, and then had a rush of memories come back from last summer. We spent it a couple hundred kilometres apart (both went home for the summer), but I drove up to see her 3 or 4 times, and each weekend visit was amazing.
At the start of our breakup I dealt with the usual, thining about all the good times, and dealing with them. I'd never really considered the summer to be a good part of our relationship, there wasn't anything particularly bad about it, but it was hard being apart for weeks/months at a time. I guess I never really thought about the good times we had in the summer, and now that the weather is getting nicer, those memories are coming up.
I woke up with morning with a serious temptation to unblock her on facebook and see what she's up to (been NC for about a month). I didn't, and I won't. Cried in the shower this morning.
Fuck it, I'll feel better tomorrow than I do today. This is a minor setback. | Second round of memories coming after almost 3 months broken up. I'll be k though. |
t3_505o30 | Advice | advice, do I step up and shut up or put my foot down? | My coworker just left for his new job, I was his administrative assistant. I essentially did his job along with him, but without the title. Now that he's gone I'm pretty much the only one who knows what he does/did. I didn't mind do it when he was here since he didn't assign me much and I liked making excel sheets.
I've been here 2 months now; our supervisor has been here 3 weeks before me. My coworker essentially did a lot of her duties, so I'm not quite sure what she does as she's always on the phone outside, and no it's not for work, but well she is the micromanager from hell.
The thing is she doesn't really like me I'm guessing, as I get reprimanded for doing as others do (take lunch without her prior approval, getting to work 3 minutes late, even my appearance) I think she's just flaunting her feathers and wants some form of control and since I'm the newest I get to be the target. It wouldn't bother me as much since this is just a starter job for me and want to be out in at least 8 months since I'm already not getting paid as I would like, but I was a mess and needed a job ASAP. I would like to vie for his job since the pay is better and know what he did and can do it really well (he gave me all his files trained me well from day 1 and pushed me to apply for his position.)
But now I'm getting told its company policy that you must stay in a position for 6 months before moving to another, unless there's an exception made by the Company manager but considering my direct supervisor has in it for me I'm worried this is unlikely (though my manager does like me, I do worry he's too buddy buddy with her that her input will sway him).
**question/ | He had put in a 2 weeks' notice, and in no time did she approach me to ask or even at least tell me I would have to take over some or all of his duties. I wouldn't mind if this was a good environment but since she has been so hostile towards me I really don't want to be doing his duties, for free essentially. |
t3_raos9 | AskReddit | Help a brother out, hackers wanted for well deserved revenge | I accompanied my friend on a couple of errands today, one of which was to exchange a hose he bought at a local hardware store. The store was Kelly's True Value in Newburyport, MA. The culprit was apparently the owner's wife.
After asking nicely to make the exchange, the lady's first reaction was to stare us down with an annoyed look on her face. Following that, she provided a number of anecdotal bullshit reasons why we couldn't return it (e.g. "you obviously don't work in retail"). After a few minutes of this nonsense while my friend and I were wavering between amusement and horror by the absurd conduct of this woman, an older gentleman stepped in and explained that if we rolled up the hose we could exchange it. So my friend and I worked together to re-roll the 75 foot hose on the floor of the store. After this we went to the hose section to get e right hose, relieved that someone else was helping us. This serendipity ended quickly and redundantly, when we realized that she was following us. She proceeded to mock us and insult us using idiotic voices like a 12 year old, with a beaming smile on her face (think...The Joker). As a customer service professional myself, it was truly unbelievable to witness such absurdity.
So I come to you redditors, masters of just vengeance and all that is good, for help. Nobody needs to get hurt, but a nice little DDOS or something neat that I've never even heard of would really make my friend's day as well as mine. The identity of the woman would also be nice, as we made the mistake of not catching her name.
Peace and love (and a little revenge) | the wife of the owner of a hardware store was a huge cunt to my friend, please hack their shit or something. |
t3_nxaot | relationships | Am I wrong for feeling this way? | I'm 20 (f) and my boyfriend is 28 we have been together just a little under a year and we currently live together. Things are generally really good, we love eachother and the relationship is fine.
My problem is this, he has a lot of female friends which is fine, but on more than one occasion one of them has invited him out to the bar for drinks or to play pool or whatever (never the same girl and it hasn't been a lot of times, just more than once). I trust him and I know he wouldn't cheat but I just feel that this is disrespectful and kind of inappropriate. I have told him how it makes me feel and he thinks I am over reacting and he gets mad and we end up arguing. I can't just turn off the fact that it hurts my feelings and I'm not sure why it does. | Boyfriend has a lot of female friends and some of them sometimes invite him to the bar for drinks, I feel hurt and disrespected if he goes but I don't want to be a controlling psycho. Am I wrong for feeling this way? What do? |
t3_yhghy | relationships | I [18m] have been told my Girlfriend, that she and her mom think I am arrogant. | I've been with my 18 year old Girlfriend for just over a month, and we've been friends for four years prior to that. She's always known I was a bit arrogant, and I am quite aware of my arrogance. However, I didn't think it was that large of a problem. However, she's recently said that my arrogance has gotten worse, and that it is one of the reasons her mother doesn't like me. When I asked her how I've been arrogant she says that I'm very full of myself, when I'm told of dumb stuff I do I always find a way to justify it. She also says I'm very rude to people and then will say, "Oh I'm just kidding! Take a joke!" And stuff along those lines.
Personally I don't think I'm THAT arrogant, when I say rude stuff its usually about people on TV. An example is Sheena off of that show on MTV. I don't know what it's called, but she is incredibly overweight and I just find her extremely disgusting and repulsive. I always make snide comments after she says something like, "And you should hit a treadmill." I know that's rude, but I'd never say that to someone I know. I'm not that much of an asshole. And when I do make rude comments it's about stuff that people aren't. For example, I'd call a smart girl an idiot, or make fun of a skinny persons "weight problem." I always say I'm joking and make sure they know I am.
So basically what I'm saying is that I know I'm very arrogant, but I think it's a type of arrogance that can't really be explained. Its more in my tone of voice than in what I actually do I suppose. So what I'm asking for is if anyone knows any articles or something that could help me be a more humble person. | Girlfriend thinks I'm arrogant and full of myself. I'm usually joking when I say I'm all that. I know I'm extremely arrogant in other ways. Anything I can do to make myself more humble besides just trying to be? |
t3_2pbkw4 | relationships | Is it okay for my (18m) girlfriend (19f) to get upset at me for unintentionally getting an erection from hearing a neighbor loudly moan last night? | my gf and I were lying in bed around 3am last night when we heard our upstairs neighbor moaning really loudly. it was going on intermittently for 15 mins or so. I got a slight erection from hearing it, as I can get them from pretty much anything sex related. I don't even know what the girl upstairs looks like.
she asked if I had a boner and reached over and checked. she then got mad at me and moved onto the floor and just sat for awhile.
I told her it was ridiculous and it wasn't intentional. keep in mind I never have any trouble getting hard for her. I told her to stop sitting on the floor and come back in bed which she did. we both fell asleep and the next morning she continued to be bothered and continued to give me a hard time about it.
is she right to be upset? if so I don't know what to say because I don't feel like my bodily functions are my fault. | got erection from moaning neighbor. gf is upset about it. is she in the right? |
t3_27sdrb | relationships | Me [19 M] with my friend [19 F], I like her but her past is putting me off making a move | I am getting these growing feelings for a friend of mine but her past with guys is putting me off. Over the past few weeks we've been getting closer to each other. She has been hanging out with my group of friends more after I have been inviting her out. We talk in the group and privately just about normal stuff and I think we get along well.
The only problem I have is I am not looking for a fwb any more and wanting to find a decent relationship however she is recently out of a long relationship and sleeping around. The other problem I have is she has slept with a quite a few of my close friends and has a reputation which is a bit off putting for me.
Finally after getting closer to each other and my interest in her growing to the point where I'm confident enough to make a move it is just happens to be that i leave the country for a month for South America.
What I am asking is should I maybe message her through social media or skype explaining what I think or wait until I return if the feelings are still there?. Also i want to know if anybody has dated someone with a reputation of sleeping about and how/did it affect the relationship?. | Feelings for friend are growing. Going away to work for 4 weeks in South America. Not sure what I should do, Need advice. |
t3_3lics3 | legaladvice | How do I prevent my roommate's violent girlfriend from entering my house even if my roommate may give her permission to come in? | So I live in a house with 3 other roommates. One of the roommates (let's call him Greg) put in a 30 day notice and Greg's significant other (female/non roommate) hit one of my roommates (male) during a discussion. Roommate did not reciprocate and she was the only aggressor. Is there a way to make sure she doesn't re enter the home while Greg finishes his 30 days of living here? I know technically she has permission to enter because of her bf, but since she was physically aggressive can we legally make sure she can't step a foot inside? Would like to avoid a big dramatic scene by calling the cops every time Greg's crazy gf tries to show up if possible.
Oh and this is an isolated incident. We (roommates) have all lived together cohesively before this point, but I don't want her in my home and neither do my 2 other roommates. Ever since she came into the picture a couple months ago is when we started to feel tension. | Roommate's GF got violent with one of my roommates (male) while inside our home, she is not a tenant. How do I make sure she can't come inside our house even though her boyfriend (roommate) may give her permission to enter? |
t3_ikm4n | AskReddit | eBay has been anti-billing me for years, how can I stop it? | I know the title is confusing, here's some backstory:
In '03 or '04 (I honestly can't remember now), my eBay account was hijacked and used to list a backhoe for sale. eBay got wind of how weird this seemed, since my account had only been used to purchase SimCity 4 at that point, and they got in touch with me. I recovered my account successfully, however, I noticed that there was a 39 cent negative balance pegged on. I figured it was leftover listing charges from something, so I paid it.
It doubled to 78 cents, and then $1.56 after I tried paying it again. Over the years, I've sporadically tried paying it off out of curiousity, and it ended up doubling over and over, [sitting now at $6.24](
[I have 4 pages of this shit in my email] dating back to '06 (I deleted the older ones at some point).
After I paid it the last time, I then noticed that the balance was a negative one this entire time, so I think eBay technically owes me 6 bucks.
Calling and live chat have been less than productive, since it seems that they don't actually employ humans anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do? And before anyone asks, they're legit eBay emails, not some phishing scam. I can log on to my eBay account and see the balance there. | I have had a mysterious negative eBay balance for years that would double everytime I tried to pay it off. Help me figure out why eBay owes me money, and how to get it back. |
t3_38j1rp | tifu | TIFU by wearing the same pair of clothes two nights in a row. | This happened last night...Been going through some rough times and drinking too much. The liquor store clerks have definitely been picking up on it. Anyhow, I had to run out last night and was planning on trying to not drink, but when the time came to drive past the liquor store I was too compelled to stop. As I get out of my car, I realize I put on the exact same set of clothes as I wore the night before. I go in, grab my usual and head to register. He greets me with,
"how are you this evening?"
"I'm here."
"Well, its better than the other option..."
"I suppose" and we both kinda laugh it off.
It's at this point I realize we were both on different pages. I was thinking...well, I'm back in the liquor store again, drinking again...He was thinking...well, at lest you're not dead.
This exchange was heard by 1-2 other employees. The bad part is, I'm too embarrassed about wearing the same clothes two days in a row to go back in anytime soon. So now, they think I'm not wanting to be living at all and will probably wonder why they don't see me over the next few days. I'll be curious to see the looks or remarks when I back in a week or two. | Wore same pair of clothes to liquor store two nights in a row, made an misinterpreted remark and now they may think I don't want to be alive. I'm also too embarrassed about wearing same clothes two nights in a row to go back in for a while. |
t3_2nsfxd | relationships | Me [19 M] with my good friend [17 F] ~6 years, we've been on a few dates, I need somewhere unique to take her! | Long story short, I absolutely adore this girl, I finally confessed my feelings to her, she said she likes me too, we've gone to lunch a few times and to the movies once (almost went to the drive-in theatre but I got in a wreck on the way to get her...). I asked her if she would be interested in a second date and she agreed.
So I need two things:
-Where should I take her/what should we do? This town feels so boring!
-How can I keep the conversation alive and show affection without being too weird about it? Our conversations seem the exact same every time... | Girl I adore; few dates, dont know where to take her/keep conversation going and interesting. |
t3_2r40a9 | relationships | [20F] Disappointed and frustrated with my boyfriend's [19M] lackadaisical attitude. Pretty disappointed now and I'm not talking to him to cool down. Is it wise? How do you deal with a lackadaisical SO? | My boyfriend and I are in 6 months in and just started ldr near to a month now. He's so lackadaisical and makes empty promises sometimes. Often I have to push him to do something, remind him or ask at least and I feel pretty tired doing that. Most calls or skype calls are initiated by me. He seem okay if we just text all day long and nothing else but texting just doesn't seal the deal for me.
He's been talking about coming to my hometown to visit me before I leave to another country for a long time late next month. Time is running out. He's dragging his feet so much nothing has been planned, I'm tired of waiting aimlessly now. I thought by early Jan he would be here or going to but he did not even check for flight tickets until I called and ask him. INSTEAD he asked me to check for him on the basis that his house wifi is down. I've been waiting for a plan for one month now.
I've made it clear to him I am unhappy and he apologised but I just don't feel like talking to him as I don't want to force myself to sound okay. I'm not going onto the chat app so there's no last seen. I'm just not sure if not talking to him will worsen things or be bad for us. We already had a time out of a few days previously due to similar reasons. I don't want to be always arguing or what not. | LDR boyfriend too relax about things and is just content with minimal communication like texting. After waiting for a month for a plan to come over to mine, still no plan. Disappointed over circumstances, I am not talking to him after making it clear to him I'm unhappy. |
t3_4xa6sm | relationships | I [39M] regularly look at other women and find them attractive. Does this mean I am cheating on my wife [40]? | I have been married for eight years. We have two kids; a four year old girl and a one year old boy. I love my wife and I love my family more than anything.
My issue is that I find myself attracted to other women. I'll see a beautiful woman walking down the street, or jogging, at the beach, or whatever, and I'll steal some looks at her. I won't stare like a creeper or follow her, but I'll just look at her and think quietly, "HOT."
I also look at X-rated material on the internet and will see to my own needs while watching them.
I am well-exercised and have a high libido. My wife and I make love at least three times a week but often more.
I find that when I am with her, although I love my wife dearly, I will often fantasize about the "hot" women I see throughout the day.
I would never, ever take my attraction to other women to the next, logical step: trying to strike up conversations to flirt with them and eventually sleep with them. NO WAY.
I am loyal to my wife, am committed to her, and am in love with her. My attraction to other women is limited to sly little glances at them, and that's all.
Is what I'm doing considered a form of cheating? Or disloyalty?
- The use of internet videos and images featuring other women in a graphic way
- Stealing admiring glances at physically attractive women in real life
- Fantasizing about other women when I'm in the intimate with my wife
Looking for insight, thanks. | Is being attracted to other women and using erotica a form of cheating? I am otherwise completely loyal to my wife and wouldn't |
t3_2gv3gh | loseit | NSV I fit into my sexy underwear again!! | About three years ago I bought these really cute pair of lacy underwear for my anniversary with my boyfriend. I gained a good amount of weight since that time and I haven't been able to fit in them since. This past summer I started to really try to lose weight. Our anniversary is coming up and I thought: "Why not? Lets see if these suckers fit". I put them on and they do! I still have another size down that I want to lose because I still wasn't at my goal size three years ago, but it's progress! I noticed some difference, but I wasn't sure if I was actually losing enough weight. This confirms that I am on the right path and to keep chugging along. Thanks /r/loseit for helping me keep my motivation up! Can't wait for my anniversary night now!! | Lost enough weight to fit into my sexy underwear in time for my anniversary. Yay! |
t3_2u77yf | relationships | Me [26m] and my girl [25f] decided to take it to the next level last night.. | So i've been seeing this girl for a little over a month, and for me this is slow, which is a good thing because i want to be good to her always. I've been mostly single for my adult life because i havent found someone i mesh well with and i feel like i do with her.
This is all awesome and we've been having a great time. Last night we decided to go further and she was going to stay the night. Well we ended up in the bedroom and for some reason i couldnt get it up. The only time in my life that no matter what, i cant get it on. She's gorgeous and there's nothing about her that turns me off. I cant believe how frustrating this was, especially because i know i do it quite well. She seemed ok, i made sure she knew this wasnt her, but i can tell it was frustrating for her too.
Has anyone had this issue before? What happens if it happens again? I'm not certain i can assure her a second time its not her, even though it's not. In an instant my confidence shot down a couple notches. I really care about her and I dont want to screw up. | Really into girl im seeing but last night had issue getting it up. What do? |
t3_t6j7o | AskReddit | Do you prefer the book or the movie of a specific title? | I have gotten into multiple debates with people over whether or not they truly liked the book *that* much more than the movie of a specific title. My theory is this: An individual invests a lot more time in reading a book, so they have that sense of pride and accomplishment. Surely they would not say they enjoyed a two hour movie more than a book it took them multiple more hours to read. Also, do you think that which order an individual watches or reads a title makes a difference? I remember I watched *The Wizard of Oz* movie my entire life and then in high school I did a report on the book *The Wonderful Wizard of Oz*. I honestly can say I liked the movie a lot more because that is what I was used to. I just have always noticed people saying, "Wow, the book is *sooo* much better than the movie." I just think they want to show off that they read a book. Does anyone have any similar/differing experiences ? | I call bullshit on people always saying the book is better than the movie for a specific title. |
t3_kz2ii | loseit | Jogging/treadmill question...Didn't perform as I wanted to. | Hey guys, first time posting and I wanted to know if you have all experienced it before and how to overcome it. I finished W6D3 C25K via treadmill without any problems and I went jogging with a couple of friends tonight at around 7:30 and I was not able to maintain jogging speed at all for more than 5 minutes (I was starting and stopping all the way through). I didn't expect going from indoor to outdoor to be to be that much different, I was aiming for maybe 10 minutes of continuous jogging each interval.
Anyways, I don't want to make excuses at all I just want to know what's different and how I can more prepare myself for it. The jog was approximately 2.8 miles. The weather was colder than I am normally used to. When I finished the lap, my throat and nose was burning and after half an hour or so they both were congested and I was sneezing frequently. The jogging path is off the side of a four lane road and I live in Houston (bad air quality).
Things I thought of that I need to prepare for, but if you have another idea please add to it:
* Allergies - I've taken an alavert afterwards, but my nose and throat are still congested.
* Weather - It was around 60 tonight
* Terrain - Though I feel slightly worked out, I don't feel soreness at all in my legs.
* Conditioning - Not used to breathing fresh air when jogging? | What can I do to prepare myself to run better outside versus inside? |
t3_4vvdlz | legaladvice | Huge leaking hole in ceiling, hasn't been repaired yet by landlord [PA] | On 7/15, I noticed that the ceiling in my dining room started bowing really bad and I informed the landlord and sent a picture of it stating that it looks like it is going to fall. Landlord said to text him if it falls.
It fell about 1 hour after this text exchange. The hole is huge, about 2' x 3'. The landlord had a roofer come over the next day to take a look and repair the leak. This part of the ceiling has no floor above it, it is a 1 storey bay window area but the 2nd floor tenant's AC drips onto it. It looks like their repair was to divert the water from the AC off of the bay window's roof.
After this, the landlord worked on it a few times himself and said he was pretty sure that the leaks in the dining were fixed.
There is another leak in the kitchen that leaks in heavy rain storms that he says he is also in the process of fixing but it's been months with no fix. There is no hole here but it leaks through the wooden boards of the ceiling during storms.
Today, the ceiling is now consistently leaking, enough that it filled a mixing bowl over the course of the work day and it hasn't even been raining.
What are my options? This is taking a while and I'm afraid of the health and safety impacts to me and my cat. | 2' x 3' hole in ceiling that's leaking, been over 2 weeks. No fix in sight |
t3_2rocfl | relationships | My [27m] ex, and mother of my 6yo [33f] keeps sabotaging every attempt to start a new relationship | This is a really hard situation for me, we originally split up 4 years ago, but she never really stopped having feelings for me.
When I'm single things appear to be quite normal, I give her maintenance money every month and I see my kiddo 3 or 4 days a week.
The real problems start whenever she realizes I'm seeing someone, usually she changes visiting dates and sets minor complications, and if she realizes that Im serious the just goes haywire, she already wrote to, and stalked several of my ex girlfriends and she is doing the same to my current one. Usually they reach a braking point, usually ending in something like a "I'm really sorry but I don't want to deal with this anymore".
On top of this, she insults and threatens me constantly of going to lawyers and ruin me financially, and she has also destroyed cellphones and TV sets when she gets pissed arguing, I never layed a finger on her.
Sometimes I feel she just wants to see me be miserable and fail over and over again, and I can't really think about taking custody for a couple of reasons:
- I don't want to put that psychological weight on my son
- The justice system is INCREDIBLY biased towards mothers, so it's a lose lose for me
So I really don't know what to do or how to act, I feel there's really no escape for me. This has happened so many times now, there's just no reasoning with her. | my sons mother still has feelings for me, is sabotaging all my relationships and I can't do anything about it* |
t3_3soe0d | tifu | TIFU by diving into a swimming pool | Today was a little over a 2 months since I'd started working out. After getting some muscle and losing weight, I was being less self-conscious about my body so I decided to put on the swimming trunks I'd kept in my gym bag for so long. It was after a workout, and I was all hot. But I was being dirty so I just walked to the pool without showering.
As soon as I walk in, all eyes on me, I try not to make any eye contact. But I see three beautiful girls in the hot tub. One of them caught me looking at them. The other two no interest, but that one checked me out.
Felt good. For some reason, I felt a bit over confident and decided that I'd make a show out of myself.
I got onto the diving platform, made the dive. It felt smooth, I thought I'd made the sexiest olympic gold medallist-grade dive.
And I did, i think...
About a second later, my ballsack cramps up really hard due to the sudden change in temperature.
The pain was excruciating and I almost drowned but I managed to doggy paddle to the nearest wall.
The lifeguard, who saw the struggle, casually strolled near me and asked if I was okay.
I was so damn embarrassed and shocked by such horrific pain that I accidentally/honestly said, "my scrotum cramped up."
He laughs his ass off and says, "aight man, watch out."
I stayed in the pool the entire time till the girls left. Doggy paddled every lap till they left. | didnt adjust my body slowly to pool water temp, made a handsome dive, got my ballsack cramped real hard and doggy paddled for hours in embarassment |
t3_3okif4 | relationships | My [23F] boyfriend [mid-20s] was mugged a few months ago and it's put a large strain on our relationship | My boyfriend was walking home late at night about three months ago from a friend's house when he got mugged by some teenagers. They stole his wallet and phone and beat him up badly enough to get him in the hospital for a few days. I've been trying my hardest to support him through this period but it has put a huge strain on our relationship. We've been together for around two and a half years.
We tended to be pretty outgoing but because of the incident he never wants to go out. When friends invite us to things he always comes up with an excuse not to go. He says he doesn't mind me going without him but I feel too bad about leaving him behind to enjoy myself so I've more or less stopped going out. His libido is also way down, he used to initiate all the time and we had sex usually at least once every two days mostly more. These days he rarely initiates and we can go more than a week without it. I know that doesn't seem like much but it's a lot for us.
He spends a lot of time moping about the house, and when we do go out he always seems on edge and nervous around others. He's even had a few panic attacks when we ended up staying out later than intended and were walking back in around the same area. Honestly I know some of you might not like this but I have to be emotionally honest, I'm finding him much less attractive at the moment. He used to be a fearless guy who took risks but now he's always so nervous and less open to trying new things. | I don't know what to do, my boyfriend just isn't the same anymore after being mugged and as bad as it seems I'm not attracted to the man he has become. Can we work through this? |
t3_2aokxu | relationships | Had my (21f)first threesome with my Fianc (21m) and friend (20f) am now regretting it. | Update 1: Just wanted to thank everyone for your responses! There was no way for anyone to be right here. Last night I stayed with a friend so I could just get out of the house. It seemed to help a lot. I'm still feeling a lot of guilt and all I can see is the two of them together. I also got a Facebook message from my friend's boyfriend. He said that both she and I have broken his trust... So I'm guessing he was not okay with it.
That's really all I have for the moment. After work today I'll talk to my fiancé about premarital counseling. Again, thank you all for your responses!
A little backstory, fiancé and I have known each other since we were about 13 years old. We've talked about threesomes before, and of course threesomes always sound good in theory. We've been together about 2.5 years and have been engaged since probably about mid-April.
Anyway, long post ahead, in advance, thank you for your responses.
My friend and I had gone to a concert last night, since she was driving I got completely trashed. My friend is openly bisexual and drunk me told my friend that I wouldn't mind my first threesome being with her and my fiancé. So, of course, those two are sober and agree to it. Friend proceeds to drink and fiance stays sober. Most of this consisted of my friend and myself fooling around, but you can kind of tell she wanted my fiancé.. So I let it happen.
I have never regretted something so much in my life. To watch the man you love just fucking drill another woman is heartbreaking to say the least. He did his best to maintain eyecontact wjth me while he was doing it, didn't always succeed.
I feel like a fool. It was my idea, so why am I so upset? I feel like I have no right. So I guess, reddit, I'm just asking for some advice on how to cope with my poor drunk choices. | Got drunk, asked my bisexual friend to have a threesome with fiancé and myself. Got hurt seeing him fuck her. |
t3_1p8qmd | relationships | My roommate [25/F] is going through tough times. I'm not sure what to do. [Me: 23/F] | So my roommate and I both moved to a new city three months ago to attend grad school together. We are both from different areas (she's American; I'm Canadian). However, due to unforeseen circumstances, she had to drop out of school.
This was about a month ago now. Things were perfectly fine between us until today.
Last night, things were totally normal. But then today, I messaged her to let her know my group wanted to come over to work on a project. She seemed fine with it. Then a few hours later, we were messaging each other again and she seemed very standoffish. I asked, "Are you ok? You seem very down." She replied, "I don't really want to talk to you right now."
I thought maybe she didn't want my group coming over so I said my group can work somewhere else if she'd like the apartment to herself instead. She replied, "I'm not mad about them coming over. You don't get it!". I said, "Ok then. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen."
She hasn't replied since then. Obviously, I am going to talk to her and ask her what is going on because I do care about her. I have a feeling that since she has been alone at home a lot this week, it has been forcing her to confront a lot of things about her situation regarding school and not being in it anymore. Is there anything that I can do to make her feel better? What is the best way for me to handle this with her? | Roommate dropped out of grad school. Things were fine til today. I think she's angry about the situation and would like to know how to handle it best. |
t3_4iigim | relationships | [Break-up] So my (22M) former relationship of 5 years from my ex (21F) has me in a rut. | Been 2 months since my breakup with her and gotta say it has hit rock bottom. Lost my home I had with her, no job, no one to really go to & no motivation to do anything. I've been dealing with it by drinking heavily which I know is the worse thing to do but it helps for the time being. I don't feel like myself either. Stopped caring about my looks other than my weight, so I'm horribly groomed, don't care what I wear and so on. The day's flow by cause I keep busy but it's the night time that kills me. I can't sleep due to thinking about her. Little summary of the relationship: first 3 years were smoothed then year 4 I built a bond with my brother that I didn't have for many years with him. That's when the problems started cause I'd hang out with him. So last 2 years just constant fighting about everything. Towards the final weeks it wasn't looking good and pretty much came to an end after I went out by myself and danced with some girl and me being honest I told her I did that but nothing more. She thought I did more so she packed my stuff and kicked me out and wants zero contact. I try to tell her I messed but she's not having it. So last night was the low point where I drunk called her and some guy I didn't know answered and told me to stop calling. It tore me up cause did she move on? Idk I don't want to assume. She's been going out a lot too so it doesn't help. Starting to think I should move on but it's hard. | Relationship of 5 years recently ended and I don't know how to move on and it's ruining every aspect of my life. |
t3_hpoqy | AskReddit | I am 22. I don't want to waste the next few years holding a shitty job, wasting time/money on things I don't need, and regretting being 30 and not doing anything about it while I was 22. | I haven't done much since I turned 18. I am currently a 3-year community college student that doesn't drink or smoke but has high-self esteem loaded with a somewhat high-ego. What is bothering me is that initially I was a serious 4.0 GPA student while earning several scholarships a couple of years back, however, since then everything has kinda gone downhill. I'm now a 3.1 student and today realized that I went from the top of the world to full blown reality of "you're not perfect and life hands you shit here and there." I want to go back to being an overachiever because if I fail myself, I will at least have some success. I need advice on how get back on track and do something in my life. Reddit, I want to know what I can do to hack my brain into wanting (or needing) to be successful.
I know I may sound like a dick for trying to be "perfect" but that was solely responsible for my initial success and I want another go around at it to be successful again. | Was extremely successful in school, not so much today. I want to go back to my old success and need advice. |
t3_2bf11d | relationships | [F17] [M17] What causes the dumper to just completely turn into an asshole after a breakup? | Pretty much what the title asks. I'm not talking about a horrible relationship, or cheating, or lying, because I did none of that. I was literally nice as fuck when we broke up, and I was treated like shit in turn. He pointed out every single one of my flaws, blamed the entire demise of the relationship on me, and now, whenever we talk tries to rub his new relationship in my face and how much happier he is. It hurts, but not as much as I'd thought, because he's being so stupid. I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, I made mistakes often, I'll say that, but I don't deserve this. He just made the breakup way worse than it needed to be, and I tried to leave it on good terms but he just wasn't willing. He just really wanted to point out everything I had done wrong, I just don't know why. Any views or opinions? Has this happened to you? My first relationship/breakup and his too. | What causes some dumpers to just lose their shit when you haven't really done anything to warrant it, after a breakup? |
t3_18h7vc | needadvice | Looking for career advice. | Hi, I'm a 17 year old junior in a public high school. My gpa is around 94 or 95 counting everything up until now, which according to [this] chart is a 3.9 or 4.0. I'm involved in three clubs: environmental, key club, and the "youth alive" club. I've accumulated over 100 volunteer hours at my local hospital. I would say my family is upper middle class. im unemployed right now, but i should be employed by around april or may (min wage most likely).
My issue here is that I see no passion in me. i've told everyone in my family I desired an engineering career (because if I have to pick a school subject I like, it's math. i hate everything else)..but the more I think about it the less I want to pursue that career path. I have no real idea of anything I would *like* to do. and to be honest, I don't mind doing something tolerable. but engineering isn't exactly a field that is "tolerable," if i don't like it. I was hoping to find some recommendations from redditors on career ideas. or any advice at all really. also any questions to make your advice more accurate are very welcome.
I appreciate it greatly. | i have no passion, and would like recommendations for "tolerable" career paths |
t3_2tq1tw | relationships | Me [22 F] with my random hookup/new crush [22 M]. Should i text him or give up? | On Friday, I went to a friend's birthday party. It was at a restaurant, but it was open bar, and we went to bars after, so everyone was fairly drunk. I don't know if this is important to mention but I am newly single, and thought it would be fun to talk to a new guy.
So I started talking to one guy in the group. He was really nice, and we talked for half of the night (so probably around 2-3 hours). After the bars, we went back to his house along with 4 of our other friends to hang out for a bit. Eventually, everyone left and him and I ended up hooking up.
Around 3 am I told him that I should probably head home. He said he would walk me home (it's only about a 5 minute walk, we're in college) but it was snowing so I thought it was really nice. After walking me home, he hugged me and I said something like "oh did i give you my number earlier?" and he said "no, i left my phone at home but let me give you mine."
So when I got inside my house, I texted him something like "hey its ___. thanks for walking me back in the snow!" I got no answer, so I thought maybe he had passed out drunk....but then the next morning, I still had no answer and haven't gotten a text from him since.
He is good friends with my friend's boyfriend, so I will DEFINITELY be seeing him again. I don't want to make things awkward by texting him again, but I also think he's cool and would like to hang out again. Should I wait it out, or trying sending him one more text? (for reference, my friend's boyfriend said he is really shy, but idk if this makes any difference haha). | hooked up with a guy on Friday and he hasn't texted back. Should I send him another text or just wait until I run into him/give up on him as he is probably not interested? |
t3_4y394h | relationships | A little story between me [M, 17] and my girlfriend [F, 17] | Hi, I'd like to share our own story. :)
While I was playing an online game for Pokémon, by chance, I was looking to talk with someone from my country to converse and among those who had already contacted and those in the future, was able to meet her, just her.
I got in contact for the first time in December 31, 2015. At first, she was not sure of himself, but I had tried to be as friendly as possible, without letting it scare her or something.
In a few months, we have invented our little stories and scenes, both of us, and that of another. We also talked about serious things, and our personal lives.
And then, came the thing that I never expected.
On March 1, 2016, after giving the sweet caresses, hug and kiss on the cheek and nose, I wanted to do something with her, and was giving her a simple kiss on the lips. She did not seem to hold back, indeed, she had agreed on what I wanted to do. At first I was a bit shy to do it, then I managed to take courage and at the end we kissed, shortly before she was to go to sleep.
I do not go further, because we talk about very intimate things, but I can tell you that we are officially become engaged. | One day, I'd like to meet her, when I succeed to have a car, because we are far from more than 500 km. |
t3_351v1u | relationships | (Ex) boyfriends [M21] mother died on the same day that I [F21] broke up with him? What is my place? | We have been together for 3 years but for the last few weeks, I just haven't been confident in our relationship lasting. Yesterday I finally told him that I wanted to end it. He acted a little strange when I told him, he sort of stepped back like he was scared of me. It was emotional for both of us but we didn't hug or kiss or anything.
After that I drove home and I was pretty upset so I just went to bed. When I woke up, I went on Facebook for a while and his brother had made a status about how much he loved her (his mother) and that she was taken too soon. I looked at the time of the status and it was before I broke up with him. I felt even worse than I already did so I tried to call him and he kept rejecting the calls. I drove over to his place and i told him I knew what happened and I tried to hug him but he said "please don't touch me". that was pretty much it. He just cut the conversation short and shut the door in my face. By the time I got to my car I got a text that said: "you wanted to end it. You did. My mother dying doesn't change that."
I don't know what to do. He helped me through the loss of someone I loved. I don't know if I would have gotten through it without him. I just want to hold him. What is my place here? I mean, do I act like his girlfriend, a friend? How do I help him? I left him alone all night, do I call him again?
Help please. | (Ex) boyfriends [M21] mother died on the same day that I [F21] broke up with him? What is my place? |
t3_2v6ox0 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] for almost 2 years, I know this might sound shallow...but I'm not really getting any gifts back | I know this might sound like a shallow post, but lately it has been bothering me more and more. As v-day is coming up, I realized that my bf is not really planning anything at all. We won't be spending it together anyway, but I already am having something delivered to him for the day. He, however, doesn't even know the address I'm staying at and has no interest of asking me. For last valentines day, we didn't do anything. We didn't even go out to dinner. He said he was going to get me the gift that I wanted, but it took him over a month after to finally order it. For our 1 year, we didn't even go out to dinner. I made him a very special gift, but I got nothing in return. For Christmas, he said he was going to get me something (I got him something and he knew that), and then when Christmas came around, I got nothing.
This isn't a dealbreaker because I obviously love him a lot, but it especially makes me shitty when people around me are being spoiled by their boyfriends. I don't want him to spend a lot of money on me at all. I don't care if the gifts are handmade or $5. The reason I feel like a bitch even posting this and why I'm uncomfortable sharing this with him is because he got me a fairly expensive birthday gift (although it was also late by a month and I felt awful reminding him to buy it several times), and he received money from his parents to come visit me (which also costs a lot). So I feel like a spoiled brat asking him to do even more, but at the same time, I'm just looking for small gestures... | Boyfriend doesn't really get me gifts back ever, but I don't feel comfortable bringing it up because the few times that he did, they were fairly expensive. |
t3_34z1uu | tifu | TIFU Tried to get on the elevator while not paying attention | It's finals week at my University, which means everyone is at the library and we are all a bit sleep deprived. I was on the top floor of the library (absolutely packed) about to take the elevator down. I was texting my friend while walking into the elevator so I wasn't really paying attention, and I accidentally walked into the closing doors of the elevator. My arms splayed out to the side and my phone went flying. I picked up my phone, and I was looking for cracks in my screen as I tried to get into the elevator, and I walked into the closing doors of the elevator again. Twice. In the span of 30 seconds. | Get more sleep, take the stairs |
t3_1c3fvh | books | Looking for a good read, something with a great plot? | So I read quite a bit and need something "high-school level" to read for a project at school (don't picture me as that lazy guy who's just looking for an easy read, that isn't me).
I really LOVE storylines that leave me thinking "Damn, that's crazy!" and then wanting to re-read it to find all of the little things that piece together and make the story an absolutely perfectly planned MASTERPIECE.
Basically, I want something with an absolutely stunning plot. A plot that will leave you mouth agape by the end of the last page. Twists, turns, unexpected events, betrayals, all of the stuff that makes a story absolutely wondrous and unique. That's what I want to read.
Both for my own requirement and the projects, don't give me something kiddy. I want something adult (sexual content is only OK to a certain extent, I am after all reading this for school). Don't be afraid to suggest something with gore or violence, there are no limitations there.
So, please, hit me with your very best suggestions. Your favorite book with a complicated and perfect plot. I look forward to seeing the responses. | Want a book with awesome story, post suggestions please. |
t3_2ojaso | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 10 months, she doesn't make an effort. | To start off, I love my girlfriend and everything feels right but isn't right (if that can ever make sense). We're on totally seperate schedules and I feel horrible for feeling the way I do. I'm a supportive boyfriend, say little and listen more kind of thing. Recently, I just feel like she doesn't try at all, but when she does it's at the worst possible moment. I'm her first real boyfriend and she doesn't know any better but here's what's been eating at me.
My girlfriend works and has a ton more things to do in school and volunteering, while I have too much time on my hands. I fully understand and I do my utmost to never put anything from our relationship on her shoulders, that would be just wrong. She usually drops me off at my house and whenever I try to get a kiss or two, she tells me that "she has too much work to do and that she's very busy." When I text her maybe an hour later, she's not doing the things that are making her "busy" and I constantly see her doing work before her classes and in the morning. Why brush me off so hard everyday, just to not do the things you told me you had to do?
Every weekend I ask her if she wants to hang out and she never asks me. This doesn't bug me so much but whenever I do ask her she gives me a passive aggressive answer about how busy she is with extra details when a yes or no would suffice.
Then when it comes to intimacy, I hate kissing in her house while her parents are around. I could just be old school but it's super disrespectful and I feel like sometimes she just likes the "danger" of it, and that's annoying. Other than that, I have to initiate absolutely everything, it's understandable around 3rd month but it gets old. We don't have sex which isn't a big deal, and I'll live. Yet, she never says anything sexy to me, the closest thing I've gotten is "I miss you". Other than that, nothing.
I'm probably nitpicking but it justs feels one sided. | Boyfriend feels like girlfriend isn't giving an effort and might be nitpicking. Is she putting in an effort? If not what should he do? |
t3_18vyj5 | offmychest | Today is pretty much the worst day ever. (x-post from r/jobs) | So about a year ago I was given notice of my contract not being renewed after being in the job for several years. Well, I wasn't able to find a full time job in that time. I'm a grad student still as well as an instructor, and I found part time student employment - but I won't be making anywhere near what I was making. I have no idea why I wasn't renewed - I was given a positive annual review along with the non-renewal notice, and all my boss would say is I'm 'not a good fit' - so I suspect it was personal since there's nothing wrong with my job performance.
Anyways, today is my going away luncheon since it's my last day there, and I really don't want to go. It kind of feels like going to my own funeral. | Lost job and don't want to go to going away luncheon since I don't have anything to celebrate. |
t3_z3cci | AskReddit | Enough with the depressing stuff already!! Redditors, what's a GOOD unexpected real life twist you encountered? | As is the protocol, I'll go first -
Recently I had been having a lot of arguments with my manager. One day I got so riled up that I said "I don't know who made you manager!". Obviously I wanted to take back my words the moment they were out of my mouth (he's a great guy and really knows what he's doing) I expected to get fired and sure enough he called me to his office the next day. I went with great trepidation, only for him to tell me that no one else ever has dared to talk to him like that, and the point I made in my argument that day was valid. What's more, he offered me a senior position in my company (very very rare at my age) and also gave me a big raise!!! w00t! | Yelled at boss, got a big promotion and raise. |
t3_4dd5qr | relationships | My [17M] mom [48F] just came out to me as lesbian, and has been dating her coworker [39F] for a year now. I still miss my dad though. | Hi, Reddit. I am a 17 year old boy who just found out his mom is a lesbian.
So, 3 years ago, my dad died in a car accident due to a drunk driver. This left me in shambles. We'd always watch movies, play video-games, and play sports together. He was the perfect dad. And he was taken from me. I fell into a deep depression. I felt dead on the inside. Each day was a struggle to get out of bed. My mom would do the best she could to fill that gap, but she never could. I just miss him so much.
Fast-forward, I am slowly opening up more. I've never been closer with my friends. I have a girlfriend who means the world to me. I can go out with them and enjoy myself. I feel like my life has meaning. However, two nights ago, my mom sat me down and told me she had something she wanted to say.
She came out as a lesbian, and she and her coworker/ best friend have been dating for over a year now.
This came as a huge shock to me. I would've never suspected my mom to be gay. It came out of nowhere. Due to this shock, I've been thinking about my dad, and how much I miss him. I feel like nobody could ever replace him. I feel a lot more sad now. I want to forget, but I can't, and it's pulling me down. It's like I'm slipping into depression again. How do I come to terms with my mom being a lesbian? How do I move on from my dad? | My dad died a couple years ago and I slipped into a deep depression. My mom came out recently, and has a girlfriend. I'm starting to miss my dad more than ever. |
t3_3xg7jf | relationships | I (28f) saw boyfriends (28m) porn history and I feel sick | So I was looking for a link to recipe we made recently (it was in his phone) and saw alot of porn in the history. He works shifts so there is a lot of days/nights where we don't get to have sex, he has quite a high sex drive so it doesn't bother me if he masturbates or uses porn to get off.
We know the pass codes to each other's phones and ocasisonally reply to messages for each other and the phones have never been explicitly "off limits" but I do feel a bit like I was snooping now, I guess I expected him to have deleted those things from his history (I always delete any porn I look at)
However some of the videos were like "sell my GF" or "hate fuck and punish wife" "older man fucks teen" I feel pretty bothered because the idea of him wanting to see me fucked by another guy or "hate fucking" me really freak me out and in general the videos were just really not how I generally see him and his personality.
I dont know how to bring this up with him or if I even should. But i don't know how to reconcile my previous image of him with what I found. | saw boyfriends porn history feel shit about it |
t3_3i556x | tifu | TIFU by spicing things up too much in the bedroom | This happened just minutes ago... after we finished laughing our asses off my girlfriend specifically suggested I share this FU with the world.
My dad sent a bunch of peppers and other vegetables home with me and my girlfriend after we visited their house this weekend. After returning home we decided to fix up some spicy pico de gallo. She doesn't like spicy food as much, so I diced up the 3 jalepenos and 2 habenero peppers that we used. After all was said and done, the pico de gallo was too hot for her to eat much :( Oh well, more for me.
We had just spent the weekend at the parents' place, so things started to get a hot (pun intended). We proceeded to the bedroom and didn't waste any time getting to business. I decided to help things out by using my hands a bit down below, to her appreciation. After about 30 seconds of this she sits straight up on top of me and says in a very serious voice:
"DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?!?!?!?!?"
I had washed my hands... but clearly not well enough as I slowly start to feel a burn on my own nether regions. We both broke out laughing until she realized how much this was going to hurt and literately jumped off of me and ran to the bathroom to try and clean the hell-fire from her lady parts.
Needless to say, business time has been postponed for the evening... | Wash your hands WELL after cutting peppers, otherwise things might get a too spicy in the bedroom. |
t3_xqvvx | AskReddit | What's the craziest thing you've witnessed of your SO's family? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for quite some time now. She's always lived a pretty sheltered life as an only child. She's looking for a place move into and her mom has turned batshit crazy. She's threatened to completely cut her off if she moves out of the house because she knows she won't be able to afford rent AND all the expenses her parents pay. Her mom is giving her an ultimatum of either moving out and cutting the bond, or staying at home so mommy can have her wittle baby a little bit longer. Oh yeah, and she's 19. Her mom told her she should just stay at home till she gets married, it'd be so much easier? | girlfriend's mom is crazy dumb bitch who won't let her daughter get off the tit |
t3_3h5y2q | relationships | My (26F) mother (56F) has a prescription drug abuse problem. How can we stage an intervention? | After about two years of seeing the warning signs, I can no longer deny it. My mom has a drug abuse problem. What started as very legitimate pain has turned into this awful disease.
She is spending money, stealing money, not paying the mortgage on time, being irascible, asking me to pee in cups for her at hospitals (I refuse), and just generally being a liar and a thief that I no longer recognize.
I want to get her help and I know this is the addiction doing all of those things - not her. I took her phone, got her text messages and confirmed it. She's buying prescription pills because the ones she is prescribed no longer cut it. I am worried about her safety as she is now resorting to stealing money from me to pay her debts (she had asked to borrow my debit card for some reason or another, asking for $400. I checked my account and she withdrew $1600 from me on one day without telling me. *I am done.*). What's worse, she's getting these drugs from MY OWN NEIGHBORS on the same floor of our building. One of them grew up with me and is like a brother to me. He's helping my mom destroy her life and our family.
So that's all there is to it. I have a brother who also knows (we spent all night talking about it). My father also sort of knows, but I am going to show him the text messages tomorrow.
What happens next? | Mom has a drug abuse problem. I'm angry but I want to help her. Dad and brother are on board. How do we set up an intervention? We're in NYC. |
t3_2ssxiw | relationships | I had sex with one of my buddies GF and his sister in the same night. I don't know what to do and need advice. | So last night I messed up big time. I(male, age 21) was invited over to my buddies girlfriends place( let's call her A, age 20) for a party. My buddy (let's call him T, age 22) is away for a bit so he wasn't there. T has a sister (let's call her S, age 20) who also lives with A. I have had previous relations with S but its has only been drunk hookups. As the night goes on, S keeps on saying she is going to take advantage of me and keeps pouring me liquor. I'm OK with this so I'm just let it happen. During the course of the party, A keeps flirting and touching another guy who was in attendance (we'll call him M, age 20) and making it obvious that she liked him. As the party starts winding down, I start making moves at S and all is well and received.
The party ends so its me and S, and A and M left in the living room. Me and S start getting hot and heavy when I look up and see that A and M are all over each other. In my current state of mind at the time, it didn't really register what was going between them or else I would have put a stop to it immediately being as such that T is a good friend of mine. Me and S start actively having sex while unbeknownst to me, A and M start having sex. Around 30 minutes into it, M has fallen asleep while me and S are still going at it. A got up and started actively having sex with S while I'm sitting there dumbfounded that this is happening. One touch led to another and pretty soon I'm having sex with both S and A.
It ends shortly after and everyone ended up passing out. I awake to just S cleaning the living room, having a break down about what happened the previous night. With not much being said, I grab my things and leave shortly thereafter. I don't know how to break what happened to him but I need to tell him, I owe him at least that. I need advice on what to do now. | Had sex with my buddies GF and his sister, regret everything, probably ruined his life for a bit. |
t3_52n8x4 | relationship_advice | I'm [22/M] feeling gross about my girlfriend's [21/F] past | Hey guys, throwaway for obvious reasons.
I'm with a girl right now, this is the longest relationship that I've had (year and a half). About 8 months into the relationship I learned my girlfriend slept with 34-36 guys in her lifetime (At least 5 I know well). I feel shitty about it but sometimes its like I don't even want to touch her because I feel gross thinking about just how MANY guys have been intimate with her. In addition, I haven't had much sex (3-4 girls) so I feel kind of... left out of the fun. I really do love her but this always lingers at the back of my mind.
I've tried to talk to her about it, and of course she can't change her past at all. But it doesn't really seem to help. I thought maybe we could do an open relationship or SOMETHING so that at least I could have a crazy time and then maybe I could get over it.
Even typing this turns my stomach. I would really like to make this relationship work because she's a pretty cool chick, but I don't know how to get past this! And if I ever do break up with her over this, how would you even do that? Seems cold to break up with someone because of their past.
Any of you guys have similar situations, or advice on getting over this? | Girlfriend has slept with 35~ guys in her lifetime (21), I'm grossed out, I've slept with 4 girls and I feel left out of the fun. How do I get over this? Similar situations? |
t3_1ev97g | legaladvice | Just Got a Bill For 5000$ from a freind's parent | So 2.5 years ago I was using my friends truck to pick my girlfriend up from work. I've done this hundreds of times, but this time I backed up and dented the bumper on a light pole waiting for the distance tracker to start beeping. At the time the friend wasn't phased and said insurance would cover the damages, and if not, I wouldn't have to worry about anything.
Now, I reviece a letter years later from the friend's dad requesting 5000$ before legal actions are pursued. I'm about to graduate from college and can't come up with this kind of cash, and I'm not sure if this is even legal considering the circumstances. My friend drives drunk all the time and if I had told him he did it one night he probably wouldn't have thought anything of it. | What do I do when I recieve 5000 dollar bill for something that happened years ago and have no methods to pay it? |
t3_4h0p4k | relationships | Me [24 F] going back to long distance with my partner [23 M] after living together | My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. Our relationship started out as long distance (a ~2.5 hour plane ride for a little over a year), then we worked in the same city but lived separately for about a year, and as of August 2015 we have been living together.
Living together has been incredible. We've gotten a lot closer and more mature. As a result, we rarely argue and make a really good team/support each other really well.
We both decided we are done with where we are living now, and are making big career moves out to the West Coast from the East - however, because of our respective fields, I will be in the north and he will be in the south. We both are committed to really starting our careers and are happy for one another/would never hold the other back. It's overall a net-positive move.
However I can't help but be sad and worry. I don't know when we'd be able to live together again - the start of our careers are pretty location-specific. And we have SUCH a good thing going now. He truly makes my life better, easier, more fulfilled. I keep thinking back about how hard it was - not even just the long distance relationship, but living on my own when I've gotten accustomed to not.
We'll be about a 6 hour drive away, or less than an hour flight if we choose to go that route once in awhile. As well, I will be moving pretty close to his hometown/friends/family. So it's a different situation than before. | Any tips from people who have possibly done LDR, to living together, back to LDR? |
t3_f75nw | AskReddit | How do I get revenge against a laundry snatcher? | Happy Saturday Redditors!
I need your help with the best way to handle this very aggravating situation. Last night I put in a load of laundry, went to toss it in the dryer and planned on picking it up this morning. I mosey on down to the locked laundry room and it's gone. Nowhere to be seen. We have a large counter right next to the two dryers that we normally put done loads on if you have a load that needs to go in but alas, mine has just vanished.
Here is the bummer: it was my bedding, including my thinkgeek binary blanket which keeps you quite warm in the winter. It's about 10 degrees here in Chicago and someone store my effing bedding. Who does that!? The thought of stealing something from someone else doesn't even enter my mind let alone their clothing.
If you have any ideas on the best way to handle this please offer your advice. I put a gentle note in the laundry room asking for it to be returned. But is that where it should end? Should I call my rental agency?
Thanks guys! | Someone stole my laundry including my bedding out of the laundry room in my small apartment complex. Any advice on how to handle it would be fantastic. |
t3_cpdqn | AskReddit | How do I get the Zombie Cockroach Army in my kitchen to leave? | I have such a bad cockroach infestation in my kitchen. They were in the dishwasher panel, inside of wood paneling, in the housing of my microwave. We have tried everything to get them out, took everything out of the kitchen and went to town tweaker style on the whole kitchen with bleach, poison, soap and water. Though the kitchen looks immaculate and I thought we were rid of them, we looked in the base of water boiler and found another nest. I need any advice I can get right now on how to battle them. I am also afraid that I am slowly poisoning myself. | How do I get rid of Cockroaches in my kitchen? |
t3_4wbuzp | weddingplanning | Wedding Blanket? | I'm a plus size bride, with a [stunning strapless, sweetheart necklined gown.] I'm extremely self conscious about my arms. I've been looking for the last year (long engagement) to find the right cover up and I haven't really found anything I've loved.
I recently went on another search and discovered [this coverup from etsy.] I'm having a winter wedding (albeit in SoCal), so I actually think this will help keep me warm as our wedding will be outside, and won't clash with the design/elements of my wedding dress, in addition to covering my arms. The issue is, the Etsy wrap is too expensive for me to pull the trigger. I found [an ivory throw blanket on Amazon for $12.99] that is similar, but obviously not as high quality. Would it be totally weird for me to use a throw blanket as a cover?
I'm wondering if anyone else had a winter wedding and used a similar cover up. How you felt about it (look wise and practically). Did it get in the way? Did you feel like it covered the dress too much in photos?
Would it be silly for me to buy a throw blanket as a cover up? Is it worth the splurge to get the nice one? Any suggestions for similar, but less expensive cover ups? I'd actually be willing to spend more on a nicer throw blanket, since I could re-use it.
I also considered this [cover up for my arms] but decided against it because it won't really keep me warm or cover my arms that well, and it changes the neckline of the dress, which bothers me. | I want to cover up my arms, like an expensive cover up, but am looking for more budget friendly options... including a throw blanket, lol |
t3_3yhxfy | relationships | I'm [41 M] wondering how you decide if its worth trying to save a marriage. Wife [39 F], married 18 yrs. | My wife and I had a good relationship early on, but we have been drifting apart. We just aren't interested in the same things anymore. From the start, we agreed on not having children, but a few years ago, she decided she has to have a child. I grudgingly agreed to try fostering children, but on the condition that she takes care of the child mostly, with me helping out only occasionally. We have a toddler with us that she wants to adopt. It seems like all she is interested in now is parenting, and we don't have many good conversations anymore.
I work a lot and have a business that I hope to make very successful someday, but its going very slowly. I like to talk about big philosophical topics and she just doesn't have the time or interest for those kinds of conversations anymore. She feels like our relationship is pretty much worthless now, since I work so much and when we do have time together, its spent just running after a toddler and talking about menial daily issues. Is it time to just end the marriage and go our separate ways? Is it possible to rekindle a relationship when the two people have grown in two totally different directions? | Our interests/lives have drifted apart. How do you know if there's a chance at rekindling the love? |
t3_qf8xd | cats | Just adopted a 6 year old female tabby, trying to make the transition as comfy as possible, any tips or experiences would be welcome! | Title basically says it all, the previous owner (who had to give up the cat owing to change in circumstances) has given us:
her favourite pillow
her feeding bowls
8 tins of her preferred cat food
Details so far, behaviour wise she's been sat at the top of the stairs observing the household but as I've been typing she's come into the room and is sitting on my mousemat and I think she's nodding off! Yes! This was one of my worries I mean cats do need their sleep but yeah erm rambling now lol!
She's very affectionate and has been rubbing up to peoples legs and hands since she got here so no worries there. Also she was used to going to the toilet outside but for the moment we have blocked access to the catflap and provided a fresh litter tray.
pics: [ (it's an album and most of the shots are quite blurry but she wont stay still plus it's a camera phone)
Ok so that's all we've done so far and now to the point: is there present cat owners who have adopted a similar aged cat? Anyone got tips, hints, suggestions or anecdotes? All contributions welcome! | Title says it all. |
t3_3991ow | relationships | Me [40F] with my son___ [16M] he just told me a secret I have no problem keeping, but in keeping it I'm a HUGE hypocrite. | UPDATE: below is the first story. Sorry, never updated before so I don't know how to link.
My son's friend told all the parents and are getting the support they need. I never told a soul and now I don't have to worry about the care for the new family. I think they'll be just fine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I "preach" honesty over deceit. It's my standard of living.
Well, my son told me in confidence today that his very good friend, a young man who received a full-ride to a major university next fall, whose family member is a bit of a local celebrity, who received multiple awards and accolades at graduation, a terrific young man who has been with a young lady of similar stature....are expecting a baby in October.
And NO ONE knows.
Ok. Reality check. If I know, a lot of others know. But the parents of each graduate DO NOT KNOW.
The couple plans on going to the far-away university and telling their parents after they're settled in.
Sounds fine if YOU'RE FREAKING 18!!!!
Reality is, she needs prenatal care, financial planning, appropriate marital housing, support, love.
I don't know the parents at all. It is definitely not my spot to inform them of this major life-altering secret. I told my son to offer his friends any support I can give them in any way.
I find it kind of ironic that me, the one who demands full disclosure, has found herself in a position that if ever any of the directly involved parents confronts me about when I knew, I would have to admit that I didn't out the secret earlier.
Truth is, I'm pro-life, but it doesn't even matter. She's already 5 months along. So outing the secret for pro-choice is off the table. I'm thinking of the health of baby and mother. It's not my place.
But keeping silent and doing nothing makes me SUCH a hypocrite! | have you ever been faced with owning up to what you preach? What did you do? |
t3_1j90s3 | Advice | Getting with older women? | I went away with my parents this week to a beach town where we're meeting up with some of my parent's friends. When we got here we went to see them, and one of their daughter's friends who came with them caught my eye. We went for a walk on the boardwalk as a group but I spent a lot of time talking to her. By the time we left for the hotel I feel like she might like me, but there's a problem. She's 19 and going into university in Canada this year, while I'm 15 going to my sophomore year in high school hundreds of miles away. I really want to get with her before I leave to go home as I think I might never see her again afterward :(. So anyway, I'd love some advice on how to make moves on her without seeming like some kid who's way too young for her. She wouldn't seem older if you didn't know that she was. (I thought she was 16) Thought that that information was relevant.
Thanks! | 15 year old with 3 days to get with 19 year old. Needs advice on how to come off as more mature. |
t3_34fssl | relationships | My SO [20 M] wishes I [21 F] were more confident. | My boyfriend and I recently were discussing things we found the most attractive about each other and he brought up the fact that he wishes I were more confident. I asked him what he meant, and he said he is tired of always being the one to take charge when I am stressed. I do admit, I worry a little too much and do get stressed, but whenever I talk to him I am not looking for my problems to be solved. I am only wanting to vent. I even told him this. Still he insisted it was unattractive that I have very little confidence in myself and am not the type to take charge. He also has mentioned how he wished I was more spontaneous and took more risks.
I don't even know what to say to this. I am on the shy side. I know I need to be more confident. It is something I was told throughout my childhood by my parents. As for the spontaneous thing, I didn't even realize this was a problem. However, apparently he has felt this way for awhile. I just feel like I am not the risk taker who throws caution to the wind. Whenever we have conversations like this, I get all tongue tied and don't know what to say. I know communication is key, but I don't know what to say reddit. | Boyfriend wishes I was more confident and spontaneous. I don't know what to say to this or what to do. |
t3_1dsr34 | relationships | My [20f] first relationship. He [24M] says he might finally be ready to feel deep feelings again...after six months? | Okay, I am just very confused. I really need unbiased perspective on this. So this is a "long distance" relationship (we see each other on average every 2 weeks, but now get a full few weeks together), and we've been dating almost six months. He told me at the beginning of our relationship that he was...damaged? Not sure what word he used. Seemingly from whatever happened with his last girlfriend. I think they had been separated for 7-8 months before we started dating, and their relationship was like a year and a half.
Well last night I finally got the details of what he meant. He says he thought she was perfect, and that his senior year when he was dating her was the best of his life. But that then she went to school and decided he wasn't as important to her as she had said. That messed him up, and he admits he shouldn't have believed she was perfect. But he says ever since that break up he hasn't felt capable of feeling deep feelings, and that now he is feeling anxious because he thinks maybe we are at that stage...and that so far he has been very guarded (I have too).
I got upset because that means at the beginning of the relationship he knew he couldn't feel deep feelings. I didn't think that was fair to me. And I don't want to have to "coach" someone into feeling again...I shouldn't have to. It also seems like he's not over her...but he claims he is enough and no one is ever COMPLETELY over another person. Am I right in being upset? I have no idea how to proceed from here...
And an outside issue--for the past few days I have been really distant with him because frankly he was annoying and I am pretty pessimistic about us spending longer than 2 years together (that is when I graduate)...I haven't told him that. | Boyfriend of six months finally says he may be able to develop deep feelings for me...but apparently has been closed off and incapable of doing so for our whole relationship thus far. What does this mean for me? |
t3_1qwms8 | dating_advice | How do I deal with my girlfriends mentally unstable ex?! | A little backstory to help you help me. They dated for around 5 years and in the last 1-2 became very off and on, breaking up and getting back together. This dude was a friggin douche! Btw she's 21 and he is the same age, I'm 22. Anyways, he seems really mentally unstable, calls her really bad names, and breaks up with her, then will literally try to call her 400 times in a row and leave messages crying, idk how he has testicles and calls himself a man. He also told her he would kill himself if they didn't get back together. He threatens every guy that looks at her, me and her are together now and actually plan to get married soon, alas he is still kinda in the picture. He thinks they are still together and says he's sick and tired of me haha. Well anyways I think a good old fashioned ass whooping would do some justice but this guy is literally insane, I would not at all be surprised if he tried to kill me, therefore he's a threat. So.... She blocked his number but a no caller id still calls 80 times a day. How can I get rid of him, he finds ways to call her from his computer crying and begging her back, would a restraining order even do it? If he hits me can I charge assault? How do I rid this guy from our lives? The girlfriend is too scared to take action and thinks it will cause more drama but I don't see him letting up anytime soon. | girlfriend has an insane ex that won't stop calling and bugging her regardless of blocking him on everything, what do I do? |
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