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t3_3nqyzg | tifu | TIFU by impersonating Eddie Murphy | Thankfully "today" in my case was over 20 years ago. I had grown up watching stand up, SNL, Kids in the Hall etc so I was pretty familiar with a lot of comedy routines to entertain my friends with. One of my favorites was the Best of Eddie Murphy from SNL. I had tried my hand at doing such classics as "Velvet Jones" and "Mr Robinson's Neighborhood" to much fan fare from my generally lilly-white suburban Texas cohorts.
One summer when I was about 11 I got sent to a YMCA day-camp kinda thing and decided to try one of my favorite sketches. Mr Murphy plays a Weekend Update commentator who discovers Lincoln had forgotten to sign the Emancipation Proclamation, thereby making slavery still legal. Being aware that not all black people will be aware of this he offers a code with which to help white folks take advantage of this new situation without succumbing to what would likely be quite the ass-whomping. The coded message would be delivered thusly: "Hey you black Alabama porch-monkey, come with me I'm your master." I was old enough to get most of the joke but I missed an important element, namely that leaving off the word "black" wouldn't make it less offensive. I was quite taken with the term "porch-monkey" as the literal image it brought to mind was amused me greatly and I had no idea the implications of the term itself. I was kind of an idiot. And so it came to pass that one summer day during a game of kickball I shouted the entire line (except the word black) over a crammed playing field directly at my new best friend who happened to be black. We both found it very funny. It wasn't until horrified YMCA counselors came running up with sheer disgust on their faces did I have any clue what I had actually said...at the top of my lungs. The explanation I tried to offer was insufficient to relieve the horror of the counselors and later, my new friend's parents. As you might imagine, it's still one of my most cringe-worthy memories. | When I was 11 I shouted "porch-monkey" and "I'm your master" at a black child during a very public game of kick ball. The "joke" was not well received. |
t3_4ijtgq | relationships | I [27/F] need to separate from my SO [34 M] - but can't find reasonable accommodation, plus pet problem | Hi there,
Going anon for this one. My partner and I are having terrible fights that lead to vile language. I need to separate from him. I just want some time to myself. I need to leave quickly because I know that if I stay - he'll convince me not to leave. For example: I'll lock myself in the guest room and he'll keep talking - staying by the door all night. I don't want this type of manipulation. I just want space to think. The home we live in is his. I pay for utilities only.
Problem: All the places I'm seeing on craigslist require a 1 year lease. I'm not ready to make that type of commitment. Any "weekly" are like $500/week. I've even looked at Airbnb, but with the surcharge they are super expensive too. I have no family/friends in the area I could stay with.
My budget is $650/month for rent. Preferably 2-3 months.
I live in Northern VA and have to commute to downtown DC 2x a week for work.
Another issue comes in: We have a dog. I work from home 3x a week and stay with her. She has severe separation anxiety. The 2x a week I go in, I put her in a doggie daycare. If we leave the house for more than 4-5 hours - there will be destruction. We cannot cage, as that has led to her being injured. She does okay if shes at home for a few hours - but can't be home all day.
I definitely cannot afford a place that allows dogs. She would have to stay with SO. He works long hours. I know he won't have time, nor would he want to spend the $23/day on taking her to daycare 5x a week. I feel guilty leaving him in this situation.
I thought if I threw this out to you guys -maybe you'd help me brainstorm a solution. Or if anyone has been through this - success stories or lessons learned are highly appreciated. thank you. | Need to find place to live asap, within budget, close to DC, but dealing with lease terms and dog guilt. |
t3_fuq6g | AskReddit | How does Mario Kart Wii artificial intelligence work? | My friend and I were playing Mario Kart Wii when we started to wonder if the computers that aren't on the screen actually put down items, simulate strategic driving paths, and fall off the course due to interactions with other computerized drivers, or is it just game determined randomization in order to conserve processing power and maintain a good frame rate? Does the game actually simulate each character individually and do the computerized players actually interact with one another off-screen? For example, if Toad gets a red shell, will he hit Peach because she's in front? I can see characters spin out and fall of course in the map but those too could be random variables that trick me into thinking that the characters are interacting off screen. | Did the game randomly drop a banana down when I wasn't looking to conserve processing power or did a computerized player drop it themselves strategically? |
t3_1i2aj2 | relationships | Girlfriend [F19] and her friend went and smoked with with some guys they met off the street, am I [18M] wrong to be upset about this? | I want to start off by saying that I smoke weed on occasion, and it is not her smoking it that upset me. Basically, up until now, she had never smoked weed. She's told me before that she's wanted to, but has always seemed somewhat afraid of it at the same time. I've tried several times to plan a day to smoke with her, but they never work out.
So my girlfriend is off with her friend (who, in my opinion, isn't very bright) who also smokes weed a lot. They're off bowling (I was invited to go as well, but I was busy), and out of nowhere she texts me saying "guess what just happened". I ask what, and she tells me that a guy came up to her and her friend and bummed a cigarette off them. He left, but later came back with a group of friends and offered to smoke them out as a thanks. So this is her first time smoking weed, she's with her friend, and these are random people she's never met that are giving her weed. Apparently they charged her for it and she didn't get high at all, so she obviously got scammed, but the whole situation made me very uncomfortable. And she told me this all excited and giddy, like she was expecting me to be like "awesome! great! so proud!".
Should I have felt that way? Because I don't, I feel incredibly upset about her taking weed from some random guys she had never met, especially since she had never smoked before and is a very naive person. I feel like I'd be controlling if I told her I don't feel comfortable with her doing things like that.
So do I have a right to be upset? Or am I just overreacting? | Girlfriend who has never smoked before took weed from some random guys she met off the street and smoked with them, am I wrong to be upset about this? |
t3_2qlg5w | relationships | I [19M] need help understanding the reason my ex [20F] broke up with me please! | My ex broke up with me a year and half ago with a reason i didn't and still don't quite understand. I just tried to block it out until now because I was just heartbroken to think about it, but I want to know what it is now.
I can't remember word for word because it was a long time ago, but her major premise was that:
She feeds off excitement of other people and I don't quite give her that excitement, and it wouldn't be fair for me in long term if she seeks out for that excitement from others. When I said I could work on to give her that, she replied that I can't as if it were an innate characteristic that can't be acquired. She just said I can't give her what she needs to be happy... I don't get it ):
Her explanation was and is so vague to me.
I tried to convince her I can try to learn, but she just kept on telling me I couldn't. We never had any fights or arguments during 1 year we dated. She told me I would understand it some day but I just don't get it. Help! | I can't give her the excitement or certain thing that she gets from other people and it is totally innate and impossible to learn, so she broke up with me without giving me a chance. But I don't get what that means.. |
t3_2f15lx | relationships | Me [32 M] with internet dating etiquette. | I'm currently doing some internet dating. If I see someone once and don't click I just don't text/call for a second date. I think this is fair enough. But what about those people you meet a few times. Maybe 3 -5 times before you realise it's not going anywhere. Does that warrent a text/call/break-up? For example one woman I've seen three times (art gallery/coffee, dinner date, concert) and over the last 2 weeks communication has disappeared. Do I need to text/call her to say thanks, but no thanks? That seems a bit strange, but then not saying anything makes me feel like a douche! Advice from both sides? | Break-up advice for internet dating |
t3_czthc | self | Broke up with boyfriend, and am being haunted by bats. Please cheer me up. :( | Hey reddit. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of hours ago because of long distance (2 hours or so) and feeling disconnected. He was a new boyfriend but I fell hard for him pretty quickly, which is rare, so this hurts an awful lot. It was a mutual breakup though as we both agreed it was inevitable, but it still sucks dick. Most of my friends are still home for summer, and I don't have a lot of family (none I'm really close to), so I've got nobody to vent to currently.
To make matters worse, just as I was calming down post-Skype-breakup and enjoying some Netflix to calm myself, I see a bat flying crazily around my room. I immediately threw my blanket over myself and created a tiny little cave, all while hyperventilating. This same thing happened a week ago, and my friends who came over discovered two bats in the house. They managed to shoo them out, but we're not sure how one of them started in my 8'x10' room and got out (and I was hiding the entire time, so I wasn't paying attention.) Both incidents happened on the shittiest two days I've had in quite a while.
Anyway, I got my roommate to come over and get rid of it, and now I am sitting out in the living room feeling like utter crap. I really just need to be cheered up right now any way you guys see fit. | mutual break-up with boyfriend, found bat in room afterward, and I need to be cheered up badly. |
t3_1vi5hc | relationships | 23M seeking outside opinions on 22 GF | Hello.
So some background details: We have been dating for 4 months now. Things seem to be going great. Im pretty much the nerd and shes the kind of girl where people will probably ask themselves, like how did he get her?! She is just really attractive.
I've noticed one of her male friends constantly texting her whenever we are around. It's not a big deal to me because i have female friends that I text ( not all the time) but nonetheless text and hang out frequently. Plus she is just very social with everyone she is friends with. It did bother me for a bit when he was texting her at 11:00pm and we were still on our date, so curiousity got the best of me and I clicked on his profile since he liked my gfs status or some shit, and damn, He is basically her type from neck to toe. Well it bothered me, but not to the point where I felt i need to bring it up because like i said, she has guys friends I have lady friends.
Well they are having dinner with some other people, but from what she was telling me is that there will be 4 males and females (two pairs of which are married) including her and that friend. Now when she brought it up to me, i didnt think much of it. Okay, so her and her friend are getting together and having dinner with other people. The next few days I thought more about it and damn, to her it may not seem like anything other than food and drinks where as im starting to get the impression he might think its a date because i almost feel like its a date. Obviously I trust her and not only that why would she tell me shes going out with her friend. I dont want to be that guy that tells a girl that you cant be friends with him because if she really wanted to see him, itll happen. me saying not to will not stop anyone. But at the same time, I dont know if i should bring it up or how i should because i am starting to feel a little insecure. | Need some advice on what i think might be a guy hitting on my gf. |
t3_2glmna | relationships | My (19M) and father (47M) have had a rocky relationship and I don't know what to do. | I have always had a difficult relationship with my father since I was 13 years old. He is a foreigner and identifies with the culture/lifestyle of his home country while I was raised here in the U.S. Our attitudes and personalities are very different and makes us have conflicts a lot. A lot of it is related to miscommunication. I get really aggravated when he and I talk most of the time. We have gotten along before (when I was in the hospital) but I don't see a clear way of healing the relationship. He sometimes verbally abuses me saying I won't amount to anything. Usually, I have pretty thick skin but when it comes from my father, it really hurts my self-esteem and confidence. He says I will never be a hard-worker (even though I have great grades while working 40 hrs/week) or I am a self-centered asshole. He asked me for $70 because his check was going to bounce but I refused. I once gave him $500 of my hard-earned money but he never returned it. It is a lot of money for a 19-year-old minimum wage worker. I didn't give him the $70 because of his naturally offensive language towards me. The amount of money doesn't matter. He has threatened to kick me out of the house because I am not involved with the family. The truth is I just avoid him because the bulk of my misery and unhappiness is attributed to him. I think the relationship has a chance but I don't know how to fix it. Anytime I sit with him to talk it ends in a shouting match.
Many have left people in their families because of the drag it has on their quality of life. Others have fixed their troubled relationship with their parents. My father can be a hard ass and asshole but I believe I can fix the relationship. But I don't know if I should just give up and leave when I am financially capable. What should I do? | Problems with my verbally abusive father since I was a teenager. How do I fix the relationship or should I give up and leave my family when I can? |
t3_2hcm0m | needadvice | How can Internet addition be controlled without unplugging completely? | A lot of self-help guides are straight to the point and suggest limiting internet time and moving my focus to other things like hobbies, non-computer activities, getting out of the house and enjoying life offline. However, I assume these are directed to people who use internet for pleasure and don't have it overlap with their work.
My situation is that I rely on the internet and social media to work and I cannot simply 'unplug'. I have to do a lot of internet based research and sometimes I use sites like Facebook and Reddit to help with that. However I am always overwhelming tempted to 'do the cycle' of checking youtube subscriptions, subreddits, email, forums and a bunch of other websites for updates and new content, and then repeating the cycle. In fact, doing research often brings me new content outside of the cycle that draws me away. I don't want to completely block these sites though since some parts of them can be productive (eg: informative youtube videos and subreddits with relevant and useful discussions to my work). Despite the task at hand, I'm constantly being distracted or I just procrastinate in order to 'get my fix'.
I don't have the self-will to focus on work while such temptations are easily sated and if I completely remove these things from my life, I'll get withdrawl symptoms (loss of concentration, agitation, desire for next 'fix', etc.)
I'm currently using HabitRPG to gamify my productivity, but if I enable the tracker to watch my unproductive site usage, it just about instantly kills me.
Typically software blocks don't work for me either, especially if I install them myself, I'll just disable them whenever I want (yeah... completely defeats the purpose). A software block (browser based or router) using another person to password it would restrict my work. Though I'm tech savvy enough to probably figure out a workaround if I wanted to (site mirrors etc, I could probably VPN into another computer and use that to access blocked sites). | Typical internet bad influences are needed for work and can't be blocked. How can temptations to ride the procrastination pleasure cycle be stopped when you can't rely on yourself to stop? |
t3_1zw48y | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [19 F] partially long term, problems | This is the girl I feel as if I would marry. I understand I'm young, maybe that I haven't experienced much in my life as others but this felt like the girl that could be the one.
We've been on and off for the past 5 years, the past 20 or so months we've been in a relationship and things have been better than ever except for the past couple of months.
She's showing shades of her former self when we weren't in a relationship and she showed me a sign of a cold-hearted person - the person she appears to be now though is the polar opposite but those shades I see of her every now and again are very clear.
We've hit a very dark patch - I'm not oblivious, she gets angry at me for very small reasons because she does legitimately care for me deeply and her emotions become extreme very quickly - I understand that. But her emotions are becoming extremely difficult to deal with the past couple of months and I'm getting more stressed than I ever have trying to deal with it... what do I do?
This relationship is beginning to feel poisonous and I don't know how much more stress or anything I can go through - the same goes for her. If anybody needs any more details I'm happy to share them. | Don't know if I can handle my girlfriend's extreme emotional problems anymore. |
t3_4k2y00 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my GF [28 F] of 4 months, losing my mind re: health issues | So I have been dating this girl for four months. She's a diabetic and has gastroparesis as a side effect, compounded with mental health issues (anxiety, depression, etc)
I have no problems with the health issues. No one is perfect. However, she has been hospitalized 7 times in these four months. I knew that going in there would be hospital stays, etc. The last time she was in was for 18 days, and they discovered fibroids on her uterus and did an open myomectomy, which helped with her nausea and greatly improved her quality of life.
However, she has anxiety re: throwing up, and when she starts, she can't stop. and her sugars go out of whack and ends up in the ER. She is in and out of the hospital way too much.
I feel like an asshole for wanting to leave, but it IS only four months. If it was 4 years, I wouldn't have an excuse but with this my hands are tied. I care about her, and she's a sweetheart, but I am at the end of my rope worrying about her. I can't keep getting this stressed, and it truly is affecting my happiness and my own anxiety and depression.
Now I'm not one to do such a selfish thing, and I can't break up with her while she's in the hospital, or over text, but she's not out of the hospital long enough to have "the talk"
I really do not know what is up anymore. | Gf is constantly in and out of hospital, and I can't handle it anymore. HALP! |
t3_51xdkt | dating_advice | Is he into me? | So there's this guy that I just recently met - we will call him Frank. I was at a bar with one of Frank's friends/roommates and we were outside sitting on the patio just talking when Frank walks by. I had met in passing once before, but this time he stopped and talked with us for an hour maybe two.
I don't know if Frank is just a really friendly person - I only just met him so I have yet to have a fair observation of how he is with other gals... however, while we were talking, two of our mutual friends that are gals came out to join our conversation and he only did these things with me:
-held really strong eye contact
(and I consider myself to be really intense with eye contact, but even he made me want to look away a lot)
-leaned in very close to me while talking... our faces were about 5 inches apart
-complimented me
-asked me lots of questions
-hugged me goodbye (and the hug was not just a quick, friendly one - I remember feeling his hands kind of press on my waist when he went to let go from the hug, not sure if that makes sense)
SO! my question is ( | ) does this guy seem interested in me? or is this pretty normal behavior for a guy that would like to be friends? |
t3_4lxdl9 | tifu | TIFU by getting back into energy drinks | Ok so little backstory. For about a year or two almost year ago I would drink between 1 and 3 enegery drinks a day. Specifically the grape venoms because they were low calorie and low caffeine but had other chemicals that worked better than caffiene. Well yesterday I finally found a place that sells them since the local farmers market stopped selling them. I bought five and drank one on the way home. It made some what shaky but no biggie it's been a while right? Well here is where I fucked up this morning pop up at 9 eat and egg and drink one at 930. Well I get a little shaky and whatever and sit down and watch tv. Well I crave another one and I go get one and sit down and drink it. Still a little shaky from before but nothing else. Well about an hour later all of a sudden my heart fucking leaps into overdrive and starts beating so fast I can feel it through my chest. It keeps like this for 5 minutes and suddenly slows down instantly and goes back to normal. Then the shakes kick in. I mean I feel likey fucking muscles are going to vibrate till they fall off. I tell my aunt who's house I'm staying at, I'm gonna fucking die. She says eat some stew. Well the mix isn't exactly sitting well. Now my stomach is turning and my muscles feel like pure energy. They said I'm probably just hyper but I feel like going to die. I can't stop shaking. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for it to stop. | I put the enegery in enegery drink |
t3_16jks6 | relationships | Can I call him my boyfriend? | So there's this guy I've been in love with since about 3 years ago. He was my "official" boyfriend for about 8 months. And he broke up with me because I was basically psycho and I don't hold that against me because I completely understand where he was coming from. After that we had sex every once in a while but didn't start hanging out seriously until a few months later. When that was happening I brought up the ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND question and he flipped out on me saying he didn't want to be in a relationship at all and that he would rather keep things the way they are aka fwb status. Fast forward a year later and we literally spend almost every day together, I know he wants me by his side as much as I want him, his friends know I'm with him all the time, and I can tell by the way that he acts towards me that he has strong feelings for me. He's never told me loves me or anything cute like that,like he used to. I think he makes it a point NOT to. How can I define the relationship without sounding psycho again? Does it even matter at this point now that I see his actions? I'm pretty sure were gonna have babies together sometime in the future. | I have been in love with this guy for 3 years and im not sure if he considers me a girlfriend or a friend with benefits still. |
t3_1i5m16 | tifu | TIFU By pissing on my friend's dog. | Not today, per se, but I just discovered this thread, so had to share. Friends and I rented a cabin earlier this summer with a 3rd floor balcony. Night time. Decide to try to piss off of the balcony into the fire pit below. We had a campfire earlier. Only embers remain. Friend lets his dog out (unbeknownst to me) to use the bathroom. I underestimated my distance and pissed on the dog instead. Friend bought the dog inside and went to bed. Dog slept with him, covered in my piss. Came into the kitchen the next morning complaining that the dog must have rolled in something and smelled awful. | Pissed on my friend's dog and he slept with it. |
t3_4simnm | relationships | My [21f] boyfriend [20m] insults me in front of other people. | Hi all. We've been together close to two years now. As the title says really, it doesn't matter if it's his friends, mine, if we're in shops or waiting rooms. He'll call me demeaning names or say something cruel or insensitive, loud enough for everyone around to hear. I try not to get upset, because I know he doesn't mean them, but I find it a little embarrassing and generally end up feeling humiliated. He recently ended up alluding to something which happened to me in the past in front of one of his friends. We've spoken about this after it happens many times, and he says he feels incredibly bad about it, but it's just a result of social anxiety and it bridges the gap when he feels uncomfortable publicly. I know he suffers with horrible anxiety and can have a tendency to either shut down completely or "over-talk" if it takes over. He often tells me he doesn't love me or pulls disgusted faces at me in front of them as well, and will get almost immediately sad and quietly apologetic about it. I try to understand, but it stings.
Is there anything I can do to help with this? I'd rather he didn't speak to me this way, but I don't know how reasonable it is to expect change if this is simply a reaction to severe anxiety. Any ideas? | boyfriend has bad anxiety, ends up insulting me in front of everyone |
t3_2w1ly0 | relationships | My boyfriend (24/m) proposed! But I'm (25/f) anxious! | So my boyfriend (24/m) proposed to me (25/f) on Valentine's Day. We've been dating a little over a year but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. We don't live together but I'm often over at his house. He wanted to show that he intended for us to get married, but wanted to do things like move in together first, so we wouldn't actually get married pretty soon. Half of me is really excited and happy that the love of my life wants to marry me, but the other half of me feels anxious because of the change. I feel comfortable with him now and I'm worried about what will change now that we're engaged/married in the future. I don't have the feeling of wanting to know what other guys are out there, but I think I'm still a bit shocked (I definitely wasn't expecting it) and worried by upcoming changes.
Has this happened to anyone else? How did you feel when the proposal was unexpected? | my boyfriend proposed and I'm happy but worried. |
t3_tokyd | jobs | Interviewing within company....should I tell my current manager? | 25/M here. Currently in the software field and have been at CompanyABC for 2-3 years. Have a bachelors degree, and consider myself an experienced asset to the team.
Anyway, my manager made a bunch of changes to the department, for better and for worse starting about a year ago. Overall I think she has good *drive* as a manager, but her communication really sucks, and everything is indirect as to what she truly wants or expects.
About 5 months ago she wrote me up. (I've never been written up for anything in my life, but I take it in stride and with class.) Not going to get into the details, but it was in regards to not agreeing with her, and so we agree to disagree now. I keep my mouth shut anymore and just do my work heads-down. Heads down work is horrible since it doesn't make you seem like a team player, but I let my statistics do my talking now. Since that's what this company looks at when promoting and giving raises. I volunteer to help the others on my team still and offer to take on-call when asked to. But I usually stray away from my manager unless there is an email requesting a response.
Anyway, through my social skills and being friendly, another team at my work is looking for another employee and the job description is similar to my current. I spoke with the hiring manager to get a feel for the position and seems like a great job and an even better team, so I applied!
I have an interview next week for the new gig at same place of employment. CompanyABC.
**My question is: Should I bother telling my current manager about my interview?**
My thoughts are: why would I tell her that I am looking elsewhere? She's been a jerk to me all along, why tell her anything? If I don't get the new position, then she knows I don't want to be on her team, and could treat me even worse. I'm the *don't cross that bridge until you come to it* kind of guy. | my current manager is a jerk. I applied within the same company, and have an interview. Should I bother telling my current manager? Why give her the common courtesy to fuck me over even more? |
t3_4wqbvo | relationships | Me [24 M] and the girl ive been dating [24 F] have not committed to a relationship, but we are sexually exclusive. I want something more definitive. | Hey reddit, i'm [24 M] in a rather precarious position that is to say, i've been dating this awesome girl [24 F] for about 2 months now, but we have yet to officially become a 'couple'. Now for my own sanity I feel like I need to be either in a relationship or merely FWBs, I no longer feel comfortable in this *sexually exclusive* limbo without some sort of direction, and I really dont want to emotionally invest in someone who is not willing to do the same.
I'd much rather be in a relationship, but if she is hesitant to do so, I dont want to be exclusive with her. I feel like this makes me a bad guy, but I feel if were not a couple then whats the point of being exclusive.
So my question is, what is the best way to approach this situation without it damaging our relationship? or making her feel uncomfortable? Obviously i dont want say "commit or im gonna sleep with other people" but this is general gist of the message i want to present. | I want the girl im dating to either commit to relationship or let me sleep with other women, how do I gracefully approach? |
t3_1yxhfz | relationship_advice | [19m] I have trust issues and I feel like it could affect my relationship with my girlfriend [19f] any advice on how to deal with this? | Because of 2 past relationships where I was cheated on and 1 where I dated a girl who was cheating on her boyfriend (I didn't find out until after we broke up) and various issues throughout my childhood, I have minor trust issues in general and some deep rooted trust issues when it comes to relationships. I love my girlfriend, and she has given me no reason to distrust her but every now and then I can't shake the idea that she might be cheating on me.
She knows I have baggage but I haven't voiced my concerns, because I feel she won't feel like she's able to talk to me about stuff. Sometimes I feel like a jealous bastard. The only thing that's tangible and could realistically be an issue is that she's still close friends with her ex who has admitted to having feelings for her. They're childhood friends and he has known her far longer than me, so I can't really express concern or dislike for there friendship without coming across badly.
I feel like this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind won't go away. I trust her not to cheat on me, but it's not enough to stop me being concerned. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to help me get over my trust issues? | I have trust issues from past relationships and I need to get rid of them so they don't affect my current one. |
t3_22hbq1 | relationships | F 23 M 30, been together 3 months - I don't like the way my boyfriend tongue-kisses sometimes, it's uncomfortable and really turns me off. How can I explain the situation to him without hurting his feelings? | Sometimes he will go for the wide open mouth tongue kiss when I am just not in the mood for it, like after we made love and are just lying around. I keep trying to hint with my kisses that I just want lips, but next thing you know he is literally prying my jaws open with his jaws and going for that tongue. It is such a turn off, and makes me so uncomfortable, it makes me cringe to think about. I can definitely get into tongue kissing if things are ramping up and it feels right, but he just takes it too far, does it all the time, and doesn't take ANY hints that I don't like it.
Any ideas on how I could explain this to him? I know it opens up a Pandora's box of nit-picking, and I only bring it up because it seriously threatens my desire to kiss him. | boyfriend is a shitty kisser sometimes and totally turns me off, and I feel like I need to to tell him somehow. |
t3_4t2vfp | relationships | My [27f] boyfriend [20m] keeps making up excuses to not stay over. | My boyfriend and I have talked about staying over at each other's houses several times. In person and in text. He claims he'd love to, but everytime I ask he has some (reasonable) excuse. I mean it always makes sense at the time, but then I asked him face to face again for him to stay over tonight. I even told him he shouldn't feel pressured or anything. And he says "idk, I want to, but I'd feel weird staying over somewhere else" then quickly said afterwards that he didn't want to leave his dog with his nephew (6) understandable. Like I said I get his reasons, that not the point, but when he finally said it would be weird. That's where I'm just like so which is the truth? Okay. I don't even care if he doesn't or does or if he ever entually stays over. I just wish he'd tell me the truth. Like why he REALLY doesn't want to stay. Of course he did ask me to stay over tonight, but I didn't have clothes and that's what I said and we both work in the morning and I would be picking him up, I just figured it would make sense.
So idk what to say to him now. It's kind of bugging me quite a bit, but I'm not mad. I just want him to tell me what he really wants and I won't bug him about staying over anymore. | My boyfriend doesn't want to stay over, I just need a bit more information on it. |
t3_1pq7vz | relationships | Me [27 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 3 years of relationship, I have career opportunities outside the state and will only stay if we move in together, but he says he is not ready. | First of all, I apologize for my bad grammar. English is my second language.
Now this is my story. My boyfriend and I started dating three years casually. I had just gotten out from a tremulous relationship and wanted nothing serious. So, did he. Nonetheless, we noticed that we enjoyed each other company and everything was so natural. We wanted to be exclusive, and eventually it became a serious relationship. We enjoy talking about finance, sports, art, and most importantly our careers. He currently has the job of his dreams and plans to keep it. However, I started growing in my field for the past three years and started getting job offers outside the state. This made me start questioning our future. We don't live together. He comes over my place two nights and visa verso.
Now, yesterday morning we were talking and I mention to him about the job offers, when I asked him if he had consider us moving in together. His reply was that he was not ready. I told him that nothing is tiding me to this city except for him and that I was willing to stay if we move in together. He thinks I am giving him an ultimatum. I feel hurt that for the first time we are not in tune. I don't know what to do. Reddit please help! I want to try to view his point of view, as well as mine. | I am getting job offers out of state but my SO's career is here and he don't think he is ready |
t3_1kv26j | relationships | Me[26M] with my ___ [22F] duration, short-description | I've been seeing this girl for about ten days. She is a ton of fun. But her body bothers me in some ways and she has some life habits I don't approve of
Because of these things I don't think I could see her long term nor exclusively.
We are really hitting it off. She likes me alot. I can tell she had a rough relationship in the past and is very nervous and scared about getting involved with someone
I still want to see her and maybe sex her and stuff but I don't want her to get attached and and I don't want to hurt her either
Should I stop seeing her? | I'm dating a girl I know I won't date longterm, but her personality is awesome and I don't want to hurt her or leave her yet. |
t3_1jvti9 | relationship_advice | (21/F) Boyfriend (21/m) can't get over a few issues of the past! | Not sure what to do or if there is anything I can do but my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me around March. I wasn't as broken as I thought I would be, plus my friends really helped. Sometime late May, after I had been with a few other guys, not to mention I was involved in a threesome, ex-boyfriend starts texting me to hang out and everything. I only think this is more of a bootycall type of thing but to him it's something else. He goes home for one day and I ended up being involved in a half-assed foursome. He finds out and becomes incredibly angry and upset and feels betrayed. I feel like an asshole a little bit, but I don't really think it was an act of 'betrayal' as he thinks it is. I couldn't catch up on the subtleties that he's trying to get back together. He didn't make himself clear at all am I wrong for not assuming that that was his intention? Anyway, he's still hung up on it and I love him a lot but I don't know what I should do. He thinks I'm cheating and I would never do that. There's a lack of communication and directness that's missing that I have at least been trying to work on. I don't think it's not anything fixable but I don't know where to go from here. | Boyfriend found out about a foursome I had while he was apparently trying to get back together with me and now thinks I'm cheating. |
t3_2x0mjn | relationships | [25/m]My ex [25/f] broke things off about a month ago. For the most part I'm over it, but I cannot stop thinking about her hooking up with other guys. Is this normal? | My ex and I broke up about a month ago, which I posted here as well. It was a pretty devastating breakup but I've managed to weather the storm pretty well. I've cut off all contact, she's left the apartment, I'm eating healthy and going to the gym 4 or 5 days a week.
However, there's one thing I cannot seem to shake. Whenever I watch porn or anything, all I can think about is my ex doing the same thing to another guy. It leaves this sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it but I can never get it out of my head. Even at work or random times when I'm hanging out with friends I'll just picture her getting gang banged or blowing some dude she met in a bar. It sounds incredibly stupid but I can't get rid of it. Is this a normal thing? How did you get over thinking about your ex with other people? | How can I stop thinking about my ex hooking up with other guys? |
t3_cj42q | AskReddit | I severely sprained my ankle and broke my fibula. I had some questions on recovery time and surgery. | 5 days ago, I rolled my ankle and fell on it causing me to tear/pop my deltoid ligament in my left ankle. I also broke my fibula (the hospital completely missed this, as I was not complaining of any pain in my leg at all). One orthopedist, I went to wanted me to get surgery the next day (it was a single screw in the ankle, nothing else...) and claims that it is urgent that I get it done now. The hospital and my family doctor said that I might need surgery down the road, but I shouldn't need it now.
I wanted to know if anyone knew if I actually needed to get the surgery ASAP or if I could actually wait on it (or not get it at all. Currently my lower left leg and ankle are immobilized by a fiberglass backing and ace wrap bandages and I am on crutches, so it is not like I will be straining it.
The fracture looked similar [to this] (although it was severeal inches higher and may have been less separated). [This is what my ankle looks like](
Also anyone know how long before I will be able to walk without crutches? | Broke fibula, severely sprained ankle. Is surgery mandatory and how long is recovery time? |
t3_4dchab | relationships | Me [25F] with men [M25-32]- I never get beyond the first date. Advice greatly appreciated! | My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up in December 2014. I took a break from dating until around May 2015. I have been using tinder since then, and last month started using Bumble. I have mostly gone on dates with matches from the apps, but I have also gone on dates with people I have met in person. I usually have sex on the first date, and then they end up ghosting. I feel like can gauge whether or not a person wants to see me again and whether to leave it alone or not, but thus far my intuition has turned out to be wrong. For example, I have had several people say they want to go on a second date, but then they either cancel the day of or end up ghosting. The people who do ghost come back months later via texting me and it is very frustrating.
After noticing a pattern with always having sex on a first date, I decided to try a date without having sex. However, the ghosting pattern has yet to change. I still get the "I would love to go on a second date with you" and continuous texts until they ghost randomly. I asked for advice from several friends and past dates to see if there was something I was missing, and the only common ground we have identified is me and having sex quickly (the past dates say "it was me, not you" but there have been around 20 of them).
I am gainfully employed, finishing my MA, have a great social life and interesting hobbies, and I am incredibly open minded. My friends say I am kind, motivated, fun to be around, and am a great conversationalist. I am looking for a meaningful relationship rather than just casual sex. See my post history for pictures of me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | 25f has been looking for meaningful relationship for about a year, only to be consistently ghosted. Friends have run out of advice. Past dates say it wasn't personal. What is going on, and what steps can I take to remedy the situation? |
t3_lsdxx | AskReddit | I think my neighbor might be putting their water usage on my bill. How can I prove this? | The past few months our water usage on our bill has gone up 50% (5 thousand gallons of water a month) but waste water (Water that goes down the drain) has not gone up at all. Meaning.. the water being used is either going on the lawn, or being used as drinking water. BUT.. We do not water our lawn, and we buy bottled water..
The part that makes us think our neighbors are stealing our water is.. the hole that has the water dial thing is in their yard (Both of ours are in their yard for some reason) and they have had people messing around with that lately, AND they have been watering their lawn a-lot lately. We called someone to come check out the meter and see if something was tampered with, but they don't sound very enthusiastic about it. So how can I prove this? | Need a way to prove neighbors are stealing our water. |
t3_2txbeg | tifu | TIFU by investigating my supervisor at work | I work in an ordinary office. I sit at a cubicle next to my supervisor because we work regularly on the same things. I have noticed he has peculiar habits, that are done on a daily basis. He has a stash of rubber gloves in his drawer, and a bag full of Styrofoam cups as well that he hoards for himself from the cafeteria. We have coffee provided in this cafeteria, and every day he will bring up his cup filled with coffee, and look around and dig out a fresh cup from his stash and do what I call "The Transfer." This is him transferring the contents of the cup from downstairs into one of "his" cups. I think he is a germaphobe. The meat of the story is that everyday, multiple times, he will leave his desk and scout out to see if anyone is in one of the bathroom (closed door, single toilet private bathrooms). He will return to his desk, discreetly grab a pair of rubber gloves and clean Styrofoam cup, hide them in his shirt, and then go to the bathroom. We have snooped to see what he could be possibly doing in there, and we find the cup (with sink water, possibly used to rinse it), as well as the rubber gloves, hidden in the bottom of the trash and covered with paper towels. We think he is probably drinking his piss. I mean what else is he doing in there? We have been following this behavior everyday for months now, my buddy and I, and it is like clockwork every single day. At first I thought it was a medical thing, like insulin shots or something, but I honestly think hes drinking his own piss, or maybe dunking his junk in the cup full of water to clean the pee remains after he is finished. He obviously thinks what hes doing is bizarre if hes so discreet about it, and hiding the evidence. Do you guys have any other ideas what it could be? | Following supervisor's erratic behavior at work for a few months, think he is most likely drinking his own piss. |
t3_118ncu | self | Thoughts on my Ex and our Sex | Roughly three or four months ago, I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. We broke up for a number of reasons. One of the reasons was that she had told me multiple times that she had been a virgin before we slept together. In actuality, she had slept with virtually every boyfriend that she had ever had.
Aside from the pain that comes from finding out that someone close to you has lied to your face, this was a big deal to me because I had been a virgin at the time that we started dating. I should note that we started dating when I was 25, and my long-held virginity was because I was (and still am) more awkward than normal and because I came from a conservative Christian background. Though I abandoned the conservative Christianity, I still always believed, perhaps naively, that my first sexual experience would be with someone who would be both honest with me and deeply in love with me. The fact that she wasn't--I say this not just because she lied to me but also because other issues came up during the time that we dated--has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to sexuality and romance.
The sex really was poor, too. It mostly consisted of her putting out twice per week (though we lived together). During our bouts of lovemaking, she would generally lie silently on her back and do nothing. It is not my goal here to bash her love-making. Her sexual ineptitude is likely because some person or persons in her past did or said something to her to warp her conceptions of sexuality. I only point out this issue because it contributed to my feeling like sex is terribly underwhelming.
In light of these things, I feel ambivalent about the fact that I had sex with my ex. Though it seemed to be about time for me to lose my virginity, I wish that I had lost it to someone who I believe had loved me more and more purely. I also wish that I had lost it to someone who made me feel more like having a lover is better than masturbating everyday. These disappointments in my most recent relationship have made me wary of starting a new one. | my ex and I had sex, and I have mixed feelings about it. |
t3_3dt9n4 | relationships | He [20M] asked for our open relationship to be exclusive, I [20F] said okay. Yesterday he tried to fuck another girl | We were in an open relationship but I made it exclusive a few weeks ago at his request. He said although he believes in personal freedom, he was too jealous and couldn't stand watching me hang out and be intimate with other guys.
We're on opposite sides of the country this summer and we usually only communicate through calls / texting. Today he confesses to me that at his party last night he brought a girl home and they tried to have sex - the only reason they didn't was because he couldn't get it up (they were both drunk). She ended up blowing him and they fell asleep together.
I felt sick and haven't really responded to him all day and have been distracting myself. He says that he justified it to himself because I said once before that he could continue messing around if he wanted, but he said it felt like cheating and he didn't know what else to say except sorry. He cheated on me.
The most annoying part was when he tried to make excuses.
* She has tried grinding all over him and previous parties and he knows she was into him
* There was no reason for her to stay over - he lives an hour away from the party and it's definitely not convenient
* He kept saying it was bad and uncomfortable and never wanted to fool around again
* He kept saying she was bad in bed
Like it would make me feel better. He keeps saying sorry and that he loves me.
I'm exhausted and I've been high for a couple hours to cope, I don't know what to do, he could have totally hidden it from me and never told me. He could've just went on fucking her and I would have no idea because we're so far apart. But he told me anyway because he felt guilty, if that's worth anything. | Boyfriend, who has requested an exclusive relationship, drunkenly brought home a girl he knew was into her, tried to fuck her, he told me because he felt guilty and sorry. I haven't been sober in a few hours and I don't know what to do |
t3_1j859k | relationships | I (m,27) won't see my ex for 15 months, left her (f,28) sobbing last night - did I handle it right? | On off relationship for ten years, mostly off and always tumultuous. Together from 19-22, then when 25 for ten months, always flings and contact in between.
I dont like the person she has become - talking about her new bfs in front of me to antagonise, started smoking something she mocked the idea of me doing, screwed over a mutual friend of ours. Example - during group conversation a friend of ours was opening up, talking about her thoughts on marriage etc, the ex gets her phone out and starts texting
Last night, a friends wedding, the last time we see each other before I go to live abroad for 15 months, I ignore her - I dont want to be fake and pretend things are cool from my side when they aren't, but dont want a big scene so blank her. Fine until the end when she confronts me, im calm and tell her I dont want to talk about it, she has a meltdown, crying etc. Said goodbye today, no histrionics, little said as we parted.
Did I handle things in the right way? We were at a wedding so didn't want a scene. I feel like she deserves an explanation for why I behaved that way - should I give her one? Letter? Email? Just need a different perspective on the whole situation, over to reddit... | Upset ex at a party by blanking her, won't see her for 15 months now, did I Handle it ok and what to do next? |
t3_nm8x6 | AskReddit | For the love of [deity] does anyone else have a bedbug story? | I've been itching for nearly 5 months. Spent hundreds of dollars on doctor visits and treatments. We finally found the source of our mysterious rash, and it's embarrassing. I had checked the mattress and boxspring before, but we never saw anything until this past Thursday. Bed bugs were thriving between our ["bed bug proof" box spring protector] and the bed skirt. Since the discovery last Thursday, we have washed the sheets, box spring protector, mattress protector twice and all the pillows once. I also steamed the bed and box spring (I read that this would provoke the bedbugs to emerge to the surface). I had thrown 3 washed pillows on my computer chair, and I just went to put them in pillow cases. I found a matured bedbug on one of the pillows. This haunts me. It's so hard to sleep. I just received [bed bug spray] that I had ordered. My boyfriend just attacked all rooms of the house, and I'm waiting for the results. I need to eradicate our bedbug infestation; please, Reddit - share any advice you may have!!!! | I need to get rid of bedbugs! |
t3_o0nq6 | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm meeting with an old high school friend and I need advice. | This week I'm going to go meet up with a friend of mine who I haven't seen in at least 6 years. She and I were very good friends in high school. Neither of us had dates for the senior prom so we agreed to go together, just as friends (however, to this day I don't know whether or not she saw it as more than friends). Somewhere along the way the girl that I actually had a crush on said she was interested in going with me. I told my friend about it and that it was more of a romantic thing rather than just a friend thing. She of course got upset, but said it was okay. At the time it wasn't a huge deal to me, but then I saw her at prom and she wanted to dance. We did, but then she started crying and ran off. It kind of ruined my night, not only because that's when I realized it was all my fault and I was a total jerk, but also because people saw it happen.
To this day, whenever I hear people talking about things they regret, this is the first thing that comes to mind. I really hate myself for it and wish more than anything I could go back and change it because now her memories of high school prom are stained all from me being a jerk. My prom was also ruined because of it.
We have been in touch through Facebook for a while, but we've always had a hard time getting together because of schedule conflicts. We're finally going to meet up some time this week and I don't know how to handle it. She has since said that she's not mad at me about what happened and that all is forgiven.
Here's my question...do I apologize? Do I tell her it's my life's biggest regret? Do I even bring it up at all? I just want to do the right thing. I feel like if I do bring it up it would be good of me to be honest, but at the same time I don't want to make her feel bad. Any advice? | Meeting with a high school friend who I haven't seen in 6 years...I kind of ditched her at prom. Even though we're friends again, should I apologize? |
t3_3knd75 | relationships | Advice needed: Boyfriend (M:25) doesn't want to get a job, while I work FT (F: 26) | Hi, this is my first time posting here but I need some serious help. My boyfriend of nearly 7 years is seriously work shy. He has only ever worked part time, I work full time (pay the rent and majority of the bills) and I was quite happy with this arrangement until recently. He's just quit his part time job and isn't in a rush to look for a new job. I have tried many times to find him something better than just shop work, but he's just not interested. I don't know what to do because I feel like I shouldn't put up with his laziness. My family think I'm a doormat and even his family are baffled as to why he doesn't want to get a career and work full time. He's not a stupid person, he's just lazy. What should I do? | My BF (25) is lazy and doesn't want a job |
t3_1xkpa4 | Advice | Need some advice on next door neighbours being loud on a night when trying to sleep. | So i have got new Neighbours and its 2 guys, i don't hear them during the day but on a night when me and my SO are trying to sleep, all i hear is doors slamming and loud music playing, its like they sleep during the day and are awake on a night. they have been in there now for around 3 weeks first week was ok but the last 2 weeks they've been so loud, i don't want to just ring the police and ask them to come out and ask them to keep the noise down
i was thinking of writing a letter and posting it through the letter box, but i dont want to sound like a snob, i've seen a lot of funny things on the internet about people writing neighbours funny letters, was thinking maybe try that first, but id like some advice on what to write.
something along these lines, i guess. | need advice on Neighbours banging/playing music on a night when me & SO try sleep. |
t3_3yklll | relationships | I [34 F] and my husband [34 M] have been married for 12 years and together for 17. He is bipolar and has gradually been getting worse. I think I'm at my breaking point. | I love my husband, but sometimes love just can't be enough. We have been together since we were teenagers and he has had these mental issues since I've known him. Through the years, though, they have gotten much worse. He spends days at a time in bed, refuses to try therapy, and I get left to pick up the pieces.
The problem is that when he's good, it's really good and I tend to forget about the bad. However, the good times has been much fewer and farther apart than ever.
I've taken our daughter and left before, but I came back...after many "promises" of change from him. I should have known they were just words, that he would say anything to get me back.
Everyone tells me to leave him. What he puts me through, what I let him put me through, is basically abuse. I'm just lost. I should probably kick him out, but I worry. He has basically nobody, since he has pretty much shut out any of the friends we did have. I know I can't stay with him out of pity, but I think I do it out of hope.
I just don't know how much longer I can wait for him to come around and get the help he needs. It's caused so much hurt and confusion, for me and my daughter. I love him, but I am just so lost and scared. | In a marriage with a man with bipolar and I'm hurting, scared, and don't know what to do. |
t3_475ke0 | loseit | This is it. I have to end the weight before it ends me. 23M 6'2" SW:290 CW:290 GW:215 College Student/Musician, but on my feet up to 10 hrs per day. | Like many of us I've always been a large person. I hit 6'0" in early high school and have continued growing (more slowly) into college, and I recall being 230lbs in middle school (13-14 years old). Despite being on the track team (shotput and discus) I continued to balloon up, reaching 270lbs by my sophomore year of high school. I continued to gain weight through that year and into the summer. I decided to lose weight sometime that summer and over my junior year dropped to about 230lbs. The weight rediscovered my waistline during senior year, also my first year of college. With the exception of a severe drop in weight during the summer of 2012 from severe appendicitis, surgery, some complications (40lbs in two weeks) and a few more months of continued loss which brought me down to 220lbs, I've continued to gain since. The poor eating, lack of exercise, and obstinate lack of sleep has caught up with me. It has affected my progress in school (and the practice room), my focus, and my personal relationships. It will kill me, but not before it takes my life. The unhealthiness has to go.
The journey starts now. I have a friend who is a former power-lifter looking to restart and has had me in the weight room with him up to three times per week. I've been going for a few weeks and enjoying it, but I have yet to reign in the lifestyle outside of the gym. I have now started using the MyFitnessPal app, a kitchen scale, and this sub to keep myself on track. The bottom line of almost every post I see here is that it can be done. It will.
Thank you. | I'm at my heaviest weight and feel terrible. I now have a plan to drop it and keep it off. |
t3_3bjr7n | relationships | How/When do I tell my family that I will be spending my [25F] first Xmas away from them to go visit my boyfriend's family with him? | Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months but we are very serious about one another. My family has met him & like him very much. His family is on the other side of the country or the other side of the world from where we live. I have met his parents when they came to visit him a little over a month ago and it went really well; they said they are looking forward to me visiting them. He's very close with his family but, due to the distance, doesn't get to see them very often.
I on the other hand, see my family every day because we work together. I wouldn't call my relationship with them "close" and large family gatherings with extended family are a source of stress and usually the last thing I want to do. It's not that we don't love each other I just don't fit in with them and don't feel comfortable spending time with them.
Last year at Christmas, my boyfriend did not go home to see his family due to the expense so this year he (now more established at his job and able to afford it) is definitely going. I can't bear the thought of spending the holidays apart from him, and he feels the same way so we agreed I should come with him.
I know that my parents are going to be upset if I miss our annual Christmas. But I won't miss it at all. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I also don't want to be guilt tripped. And the longer I wait to tell them the longer they have to try and stop it. But we will have to book flights soon because it'll be expensive otherwise.
Looking for advice on how and when I should bring this up... Thanks for reading! | Want to fly across the country to spend holidays with my boyfriend's family. Know my parents won't like me missing holidays with them. How/when to break the news? |
t3_ekfr9 | AskReddit | Wanting some clarification on Wikileaks | I need some more information and rather than digging around I'm asking for some help. Is it true that some of the leaks not only reveal leaked correspondence, which is awesome because it's making governments more transparent and cutting through a lot of BS, but also reveal things like the locations of pipelines and wires and other things that aren't really at all useful for the general public to know but could be used by people who want to harm us? Is Wikileaks doing any filtering? I'd have a lot more respect for Assange/wikileaks if I knew he/they *didn't* release some things. | anything coming out of Wikileaks that doesn't really inform citizens of anything important yet could be a security threat. |
t3_40t4vf | relationships | I [20M] would like some help with my [20M] brother and his obsession with his ex. | First, I would like to apologize in advance for any grammatical error because english isn't my first language.
So, my brother, let's call him john, started to go out with this girl, let's call her sarah, in march of last year. They went out for about 6 months before they broke up.
You got to understand that this was john first girlfriend. After, they broke up he was miserable for a while, but then got better over the course of the year. He was getting better, but he never got over her as he still is in love with her.
John has always been the guy with a smile on his face most of the time, but since he broke up with sarah he doesn't smile as much.
So, here is the real problem. Since they broke up, we all still hang out together, which is sometimes weird, but nothing we can't get pass. In our group, there's this guy, let's call him Kevin. Kevin became a good friend with sarah and they started hanging out all the time.
John, since he broke up with sarah, has been suspicious of pretty much every guy who has been close with sarah(even me, his twin brother).
This morning, John went to his work and passed by Kevin house and saw that his car wasn't there. He then passed by Sarah's house and saw that Kevin's was there. So, he is freaking out and thinks Kevin and Sarah are sleeping together(which is nothing of his buisness and isn't necessarily true because she has an extra bed and often offers ua to sleep there). Then he started to talk to me about this and tell me to hang out with him because he doesn't want to be alone.
I'm wondering did he go to far and what should I say and how should I tell him without hurting him too much. | My brother can't use his nuts anymore so he's starting to go nuts. |
t3_2vbttq | relationships | Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M], I'm nervous about study abroad? | Contrary to what the title may suggest, this isn't a post about jealousy or long distance. In fact, BF and I will be traveling to the same location together, this September. I'm very excited--partially because we both got accepted (we wouldn't have gone had we been apart) and because of the country itself. I love to travel and I can't wait to experience this new place with him. We've been together about a year and a half, and hopefully this will be long-term.
My boyfriend is excited too, at least he says so. Whenever I bring it up he gets moody and withdrawn. I know part of the reason is that he's sad about being away from his family for several months (we are away at college right now, but we both get to see our families once a month). He's very close to his family, especially his very young siblings. I'll miss my family too, but it's not making me un-excited about the trip. I'm wondering if he's dreading being away with just me. I really hope not. I've asked, but he denies that. How can I boost his spirits before and during the trip?
Additionally, he's the only person I know that will be on this semester abroad. What will I do if he's busy and I'm not in class? I don't make friends easily, and I can't just wander the city by myself (I'm a small, defenseless kind of girl and not comfortable going anywhere alone). I'm already sort of naturally clingy, so I don't want to get on his nerves even more.
I really, really don't want our relationship to fall apart because of this. Not only do I love my boyfriend, I'm 20 and I'm already on my second relationship--my family would probably laugh and roll their eyes if he dumped me and I started dating someone else in the future (most people in my household and extended family married the first person they dated, so I'm already behind the curve).
Any suggestions? | Boyfriend and I are heading abroad next semester, how do I make him look forward to the trip and how do I avoid annoying him while I'm there? |
t3_16rcna | dating_advice | [M18], looking for help on a couple issues... | Alright so, a new semester of university for me has started and, by cheer luck, I ended up sitting beside an attractive girl who's my type. We got to talking and just recently, I not only managed to get her number but she also agreed to meeting up and going over the classes material for an upcoming test.
Now, my question is, how should I handle this? **If she's single** (I say if because I have yet to determine if she's single or not but I have my suspicions), I want to know what I should be looking for during this studying session. Ultimately, I want to see how far I can push things, be it a romantic relationship or just a good friendship.
That being said, during the study session, what should I do to subtly tell her I might be interested? What should I be looking for in her behavior? Signs that she's having a good time? That she doesn't want to be here? That she might be interested for more?
I know it only a study session but, I plan to have a couple following that (within the same week) and, after that, based on how I feel about the situation, I'll ask her if we could go out in a setting outside of campus. Before that though, again, I need to judge in order to see just how far I have a shot with this.
And, before some of you point this out, I know my top priority should figure out if she's single or not. I have my suspicions that she isn't based on things I've seen and heard (out of context, mind you) so there is a possibility I could simply be paranoid.
So, any advice? | Asked a girl to a study session, she agreed, wondering on how to proceed via my behavior, hers (subtle hints and such) and how to ultimately develop things further. |
t3_i0h74 | relationships | My best friend had sex with the girl I like. | Okay, just so you know, I'm not in a relationship.
I'm 18 and so is my best friend and the girl I've been talking to lately.
What happened was I started talking to the girl a week ago and we went on a date and everything seemed to be going great. I'd started developing feelings for her and then today my best friend decided to tell me that he had sex with her a few days before I went on a date with her.
I'm glad he told me, I'm not mad at him at all. But whenever his name was brought up to the girl (a few days ago), she always changed the subject and I found this odd; now I know why.
Redditors, what should I do? | My best friend had sex with a girl I like a few days before I went on a date with her, and I don't know what to do |
t3_sr4pm | AskReddit | I really need help with a savings bond check. | My mom was married to my step dad for 11 years, I was ten when I joined their family. They divorced 2 years ago and I have not spoken to his family since then. I have a younger brother who is 14 who didnt recieve the check, just my mom & I.
I live in VA and am 21, if that helps.
About the United States Saving Bond check,
my brothers great grand father just passed away,he had
issued a 500 dollar savings bond for me on the date of, 04/2004.
Above the check says, Series I- interest will cease 30 years from issue date. With a photo of General George C. Marshall, again not sure if that makes a difference, with 500 on top. So my question is, can i cash this at a local bank? I called suntrust, they said there shouldnt be a problem with cashing it. I have the death certificate which his daughter had sent with the check. How much do you think it is worth?
I dont live close to any major corporate federal buildings, if that is where i have to cash it, than I have no choice but to hold onto it.
Also, My last name is Olson, and its spelt "Olsen" on the check, but i have had checks named wrong before and they took it with no problem.
Sorry, no | Thanks! |
t3_b5teh | AskReddit | How have you been pleasantly surprised today? | Chances are that anywhere you look, whether on a news or social media website, or perhaps at the coworkers in the cubicle next to you, there's something undesirable or detestable about the current status quo. As a result, cynical thoughts, sighs, or the phrase "meh" are commonplace. Political nonsense, unemployment, and natural disasters are but a few things (on Reddit.com, alone) that support your right to feel disgruntled.
But what about the positive things? Sometimes it's good to recognize at least one instance of sanity and happiness a day. Did you find a envelope full of cash in your bathroom, or perhaps discover a new love for an obscure Russian Olympic team? Did you manage to fix your television set for pennies on the dollar? Spread some happiness by telling about something that put at least one smile on your face. | Share a positive way you've been pleasantly surprised today. :-) |
t3_11w3n1 | relationships | Need Advice and/or Perspective I [M28] living with gf [F28] | been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months, living together most of the time. We both were in less than ideal living situations, it just worked out.
This is my first real relationship since I was about 18. Basically my girlfriend never goes out in public with me, in October the only place we've been together is the grocery store 1 time.
I try to always make plans to go out on dates with her, she agrees, then backs out every single time. At least 2 or 3 times a week she bails, I feel like I am constantly getting rejected.
She gets super defensive when I ask why she doesn't want to spend time with me outside of the house. She always says she is too busy.
She has some debt & medical issues, which I am more than supportive of, and gladly help her with when she lets me. But she gets stressed and worries constantly about all this stuff she has to do, but never does any of it.
She also rarely tells me what is going on with her life outside of work and medical stuff. I cook dinner almost every night of the week, pull my weight around the house because I don't mind doing that stuff at all.
Is this normal? It's been like this since we moved in, she doesn't go out with friends really at all either. She texts constantly, but I've never met 1 of friends. Please Reddit, I just want to understand? | girlfriend won't go out in public with me. |
t3_4jdbzk | relationships | How to deal with my crush on a guy [17 F] who likes someone else and has no interest in me [17 M] duration, short-description | So here's the deal. I've liked this "friend" of mine practically since I met him in school this year back in January. We get along fine and have some things including some pretty embarrassing personal habits in common. Personally, I do admit I fell head over heels for him and honestly it's the first time I've felt this way for anyone in all my life. I've had some crushes before, but never anything major to the point where I want to impress or get closer to him or at least establish a good friendship.
However my problem is he's a guy who doesn't seem interested in really building a friendship with me. Sure we talk, but he has a female friend in class whom he met on the same day he met me (the first day of school) and they talk all day and always mess around with each other. He also has a bunch of other female friends whom he talks to more. My only wish is that he would have that kind of contact with me, since the times where I've managed to keep a conversation with him going long enough have been very enjoyable and interesting.
He also likes someone else who goes to a different school even after telling me earlier this year that he had no interest in pursuing a relationship for the time being.
I just want to get over this crush I have for him, so I can stop worrying about how I act when I'm around him, so I can stop feeling hurt when he has me by his side at times in the hallway and doesn't even acknowledge my presence.
Any way I can deal with this? | I really like a guy in my class but he doesn't even seem interested in pursuing a friendship with me. He also happens to like someone else. How to get over my feelings? |
t3_20sjl1 | relationships | I [22F] feel as though my ex [22M] is putting his friends over our daughter [1F] | My ex and i broke up a couple of months after having my daughter. Then just after her first birthday he ended up moving out.
At the moment he's living with his mum and her boyfriend, and has already had one friend move in.
**The Problem**
* His friends are over at his house every single day / night (Seriously, his mum and himself have told me that his friends are over 7 days a week.) Not just the one living there, but his other friends. He only sees our daughter once a week / fortnight maybe, and other times when i've asked if he wants to see her, or asked if he can look after her, i get told that he can't because his friends are coming over or he's going out with his friends, now i understand that he's now single after a couple of years and wants to find someone else / make up time with his friends, but i feel as though he's neglecting his daughter.
* Even when daughter is over at his house, his friends are still there. I've asked if he could maybe just have a day away from his friends, so he can actually spend time / have his full attention on her, but he always has an excuse. He tries to say "Oh my full attention is on [daughter] when she's here." But there are plenty of times where his mum has to look after her because he's busy with his friends.
* He used to come over and visit her twice a week, that stopped because he started going to tafe, his mum comes over around 2 months later and lets slip that he stopped going 3 weeks before that and spends the days he's meant to come over on the computer or with friends. Also another reason for him not coming over is apparently because just looking at me makes him care for me more.
I have tried talking to him about this reddit, and every single time, he just argues that there's nothing wrong, and has answer to every single thing i say.
I have no idea what to do. | Ex spends more time with his friends than his daughter |
t3_1t9vgg | relationship_advice | Don't want to lose him again but can't let go of the past | We just had our 2 month anniversary. This might sound silly to some. I don't know what to do. We dated for a year before this. First of all he cheated on me by kissing him ex girlfriend about a month in. He later told me after he broke up with me because he wanted a girl from his past relationship. I guess she changed and he didn't love her anymore. He decided to date someone else then and they dated for 2 months. After he broke up with her, he came back to me. We didn't really date until 2 months after we started "hanging out" again. His family loves me and already sees me as a part of his family. They all think that one day we will get married. I love his family to death and I do love him but it is so hard to let go of what happened in the past. I have always loved him and he says that he love me now too. The other thing is that he told me stuff like "I'm so glad I stopped talking to my ex, you're the only woman I need in my life" and then I see that he has been texting his ex. Then he told me he had got off this one site kind of like facebook but more for dating and the other night when he was going through emails I noticed that he is still on that site. All these lies. I know I shouldn't be with him if I can't trust him. But I can't leave him. I don't want to. I love him. I love his family. I don't want to lose him again. Should I confront him on this stuff? Or should I leave it alone and just hope he doesn't cheat on me again. | I don't know how to let go of the past. Lies are building up should I confront my boyfriend on them? |
t3_52nnbu | legaladvice | Friend kept dog from attacking other dogs at dog park. Friend was tackled by said dog owner. Friend pressed charges. Dog owner is now counter-suing for assault. | NJ: On a afternoon at a fenced in dog park, my friend witnessed an aggressive dog (let's call it a terrier) getting into it with another dog. Several dog owners began yelling at The terriers owner, to please leash the dog, and remove the dog from the premises, as per park rules. Owner argued with all witnesses, prior to making a half assed attempt to remove the dog. At this time, the collar slipped off.
My friend proceeded to grab aggressive dog by the scruff (in a non-aggressive manner). By doing so, friend managed to break up developing dogfight.
At this time, the terriers owner spear tackled my friend, pinning them to the floor, and contact was exchanged.
Police arrived once the fight was broken up, and spoke to the parties involved. Friend presses assault charges on terrier owner.
Plenty of witnesses to support my friend being assaulted, but now the terrier owner has filed a counter-charge (not sure of proper term) | Friend got tackled and pressed chargers. Defendant is now counter charging. Witnesses in the dozens, all agree to show to hearing. |
t3_1iwxlk | relationships | I'm [21m] dating [19f], was this a test? | Long story short, I've been dating (not in a relationship) with a girl for 2 months now. She recently texted me saying
"so I'm pregnant eh"
Initially of course I thought it was lies because I haven't busted inside her for 4 - 6 weeks, and about 3 weeks ago was when she got her period.
I replied with "lies" which she said "no seriously". I asked for proof then she said she'll show me proof next time.
2 minutes later she called me saying.. "well what do you want to do about it?" I played along saying "Well.. I would like to keep the baby but..." I paused for about 5 seconds which she then interrupted saying stuff like well if we're going to keep it you're going to have to get a full time job and be responsible. I replied with "of course"
After that, she said well I'm glad you would take responsibility, then the conversation kind of went off topic to other stuff.
From a girl's point of view, exactly what kind of test is this? Just to show I'm committed to her?
_________________________________________________________ | Girl was testing me about being pregnant. What kind of test is this? |
t3_x0y6i | relationships | Told SO that he isn't romantic and I accept it. Now he says I insulted him. | Me, f/24; SO m/27. Together for a year and some odd months.
His youngest brother got married on Saturday. His brother and new wife wrote their own vows and I was surprised that his brother came up with such beautiful things to say about her. Today I mentioned that I never thought his brother had it in him and that he said some lovely things. I said that if for some reason we got married, I had no interest in writing our vows, partially because he does not have a romantic bone in his body. I thought that it would come as a relief to him that he didn't have that kind of pressure anymore but instead, he says that I've insulted him.
Now, the SO and I have always had different views on marriage. I see it as something romantic and wonderful. He sees it as something outdated and not necessary. He has said that he wants to spend his life with me, etc. and that he would marry me to make me happy. I've always struggled with that in particular, like if I was forcing him into it. We've also had issues with him being a bit cold and not romantic. After some time of agonizing over this issue, I have accepted that he is just not the romantic type and told him so this morning, saying that I've accepted that he isn't romantic and that's okay with me now. How does that turn into an insult? Should I apologize or something? | Told non-romantic boyfriend that it's okay that he isn't like that, and now he says I've insulted him. |
t3_3q793w | relationship_advice | I think I know why i have been single for 3 years, and i don't know how to fix it. | A little back story, my son was born when I was 20 years old (25 now), I joined the military, deployed, all that good stuff. 3 years ago i found out my sons mom was doing drugs and i took full custody of my son. He and i now live in SLC, Utah where i work in a corporate office for a company making really good money.
Basically im not unusually ugly (rather mediocre looks i think), stupid, or a low life. But I can not seem to find a decent girl. The ones I do find are either A) just looking to get laid or B) unusually lacking in some major area of their life. Like one girl has worked at a gas station for 5 years and has no goals to move forward. I am a very driven person, I have hobbies and goals and i achieve them.
I think that is where my problem is, I have plenty of things going for me job-wise, hobby-wise, and great friends. But honestly I don't know what i have that would draw another person in. I don't know what i have that i could give to someone. I hope that makes sense. I just want to know, what am i missing? What is it i need to fix about myself to attract women to me and not to what i have? | I know what I have to offer to myself and son, I don't know what I have to offer for a woman. |
t3_2oipnv | relationships | Me [20 M] with my GF [19 F] of 1 year, just now hitting bumps | My GF Jane and I have been together just over a year now. It has been going really well. We dated through a whole school year which went great, as did the Summer, and now we are back to school again. This quarter has been pretty tough. She always goes out on the weekends, and I am just not a party person. I don't mind that she goes out. I love her to have fun. But she will come back at 2 or 3 am and wants to have sex, but I'm too damn tired, but she takes it the wrong way in that I don't want to be intimate anymore.
Also, I have been busting my ass with school this year, and next semester is going to be even busier. I love her a lot and love giving my free time to her, but I simply don't have a lot of that time. As a science/english double major I have so many obligations and out-of-class work to do every day. Sometimes it is difficult to keep up with school and her together.
I really love her but don't know how to go about these new obstacles. Any suggestions? | Been together one year. Having slight intimacy problems and it is hard to balance her and school. Help! |
t3_1cxswt | Dogtraining | I have no idea how to progress | I posted here a few months ago, asking for help with some minor stuff. Sid made quite a bit of progress, and he really was making huge strides.
But recently, my mother passed unexpectedly, and now all of family life has gone to hell. Me and my brothers would never be able to afford the house we live in now without all three of us working. My little brother needs to focus on school though, so they are looking for a new apartment for two, while I moved in with my boyfriend and his roommate (we had talked about me moving in before, it just happened much sooner than ever anticipated).
I tried to bring Sid fir the first few days, but apparently he barked the entire day I was gone at the funeral home. The landlord called and asked us to remove him, since we had not paid the pet deposit. I sent him off to stay with my cousin, who is a dog groomer who is rather good with dogs. She is going to properly crate train him for me (my brothers never kept with my training and with the first yip would let him out) but I don't know if that will solve the issue.
Further more, I can't have him in the apartment until August when he turns a year old, and a single complaint from the neighbors can have him booted. And, with me, my SO, and my roommate being full time college students, how do we handle him needing to go out during the day? I've read about indoor grass patches, but how well do they actually work? How do you train them to use it?
Then there's the issue of whether my dear pup will remember me once I can have him every day again. I'll be visiting him, but what if the little scamp likes it better being there? Especially since it will have another dog, a kid (he really loves kids, it's weird but good), and a cat.
I got him when I thought life was relatively stable, so I was not expecting this kind of upset and huge change. If at all possible, I want to keep him with me when i can, he's my little guy. But I know it may just be selfish to have him if I can't take proper care of him. | Dog separation anxiety, neighbors complain, he gets kicked out, sent him to family til August. Will he remember/how to fix the separation anxiety/indoor grass patches-recommended? |
t3_3cqkh7 | relationship_advice | I (22M) am getting seriously mixed messages from a (21F) girl | I went on a date with this girl last week and we hit it off straight away. Turns out we went to the same primary school and had been living 10 minutes away from each other out whole lives. Date goes really well, she says that's she's having a great time, enjoys my company and thinks I'm really funny/good looking. We kiss for ages and she keeps saying she doesn't want to go home. Anyway we arrange to meet again at the weekend and for the next few days we text non stop with her putting at least 4/5 x's at the end of everything (minor I know but still). Then on Friday we started talking way less. She rearranges to sunday then doesnt text back about time or anything. She later claims she didn't get my text and therefore because she didn't hear from me she said she thought I didn't want to see her. Since then when I've asked her to meet she's been really vague and saying I'll let you know etc (when last week she was clear on all her plans and arranged a date straight away), whilst still claiming she does want to see me. Now when we do speak it's me instigating and she's not putting any x's at all or only 1 or 2 (again, minor I know but still a difference from before). I don't understand how she could have lost interest so fast, especially considering all the stuff she told me and what happened when we went out. Would love someone else's opinion on this. | First date goes amazing and girl is into me. Few days later she seems to lose interest. Can't understand why. |
t3_3c5tom | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Boyfriend [24 M] I have issues with wanting sex. | Okay, here we go.
I'm a 22 year old male. My boyfriend is 24. We have a great relationship, we both really care about one another and everything is great. Except sex.
We've been going out for a few months now and we see each other on a regular basis (3-4 times a week usually), and we go out and do lots of fun stuff together. My only problem is that I have troubles with wanting sex. I just don't feel like I want or need it. He doesn't say anything but I know this makes him sad.
I don't really have a low libido though, because on my days off (when I don't see him), I masturbate very frequently. I don't think it's an issue of attraction because I really like the way he looks. I just don't know why when I'm with him, I only want to snuggle, kiss and talk.
Even when things do start to get sexual it's always a struggle for me to maintain an erection. His is always up but mine just comes up for a little and then goes down and then I just want it to be over.
When I'm by myself though I find myself surfing porn sites and doing the dirty by myself 2-3 times a day when I have the opportunity.
I really want to have a fulfilling sex life with him, because I really think it could be something special. I just don't know how to WANT sex more.
What should I do? | I have a great relationship, but barely ever want to have sex with him. |
t3_2w0cf1 | relationships | Ex talked to me today, not sure what she wants | I (18m) haven't talked to my ex (18f) since we broke up 2 weeks ago (she broke up with me). She started talking to me today asking me how I am and told me about the history of macaroni and cheese. We had a casual, kinda awkward conversation and I was really curious why she started talking to me again so I confronted her and she said she just wanted to tell me about the macaroni thing since I like history. We didn't break up on bad terms, but I'm not sure what to take this as. Part of me wants to say hey look I'm not sure if I want to be friends and the other part of me hopes we can get back together. What should I do? | ex talked to me today, not sure what she wants, claims she just wanted to tell me about macaroni, what should I do? |
t3_qt81q | AskReddit | Having Issues, Need help Reddit. | So, My uncle is a flaming dick hole, He takes every oppurtunity to flip out at the smallest mistakes, I am living with him because my mother abandned me, dad died when i was 10, grandma when i was 11 and grandpa this last november, I being 18, no license, no money, am pretty much stuck here until i can get around to finding a job, He constantly pokes fun at me, Threatens me with physical harm, and destroys my stuff, (recently he threatened my 1500 dollar bass, which, obviously pissed me off). I constantly try and keep him off my ass by doing work, and cleaning, and completing my homework, but, when i forget to run the dishwasher once, he flips out on me.
He is a former Recon Marine, and Cop. Im scared shitless, constaqntly fearing for my life, sanity, and other things. He never lets me see my friends, Pretty much forced me into depression, and doesnt see that im an 18 year old, and interactions with my friends keeps me sane. | Uncles an asshole, Need advice. |
t3_ffayp | AskReddit | What is the best way to complain and get resolution out of a company? | Reddit,
I had purchased a Gateway laptop and it has been nothing but absolute problems. The trackpad doesn't work when it's cold outside (SRS), it has an extremely high pitched whine due to what is called "cpu whine", and it won't turn on anymore unless it's plugged directly into AC power.
I had sent the laptop in for repair within a week after I got it for the whine. They immediately sent the laptop back to me within hours of getting it without so much as a phone call to verify what was wrong. I'm assuming they had an older technician working on it and couldn't hear anything coming from the laptop (high frequency).
I just sent my laptop in for a second time and wiped the hard drive before doing so. I got an email saying the laptop was on its way back less than 24 hours after receipt so I called to find out what repairs were done - they said they replaced the hard drive. So apparently they've totally ignored the power issue, trackpad issue, and sound issue.
I am getting fed up with Gateway and want to really ensure they know they just lost a customer for life. What kind of business / consumer organizations, local government, or agencies should I call or write to? I don't mind wasting my own time as long as they realize THEY can't keep wasting mine. | Who should I call / write to aside from BBB to complain about a company? |
t3_gbmvj | AskReddit | I can't cough right and I have sharp chest pains...Doctors say it's nothing....Is there a subreddit I can ask for medical advice? | 30 year old male here....Over the last year I've felt a real degradation of my health. A few things really bother me:
First - whenever I have to cough I feel like it is blocked, or something in my neck is not allowing me to exhale the cough the way I would like to - or used to be able to. This bothers me a lot and sometimes when I take a deep inhale to cough and try to exhale the cough I see stars....
Also I've been having sharp chest pains every few days. Some are so bad that I grab at my chest. The pains are on my left side (heart...) and above the nipple on my chest.
I smoke grass pretty often, but I'm not a cig smoker or heavy drinker. I would say I smoke about 3 times a week. I exercise 2 - 5 times a week, I'm maybe 10lbs overweight, -- but I would not consider myself living a very unhealthy lifestyle...
I've been to doctors who really have no advice for me - they have given me ECG and tested my blood etc...
Is this something I should be worried about...how far should I take my concerns | I can't cough the way I used to and I have sharp chest pains sometimes...had a few tests and nothing came up...Any advice?? |
t3_139q1t | relationships | A few questions about an ex and a new girl | Last girlfriend(F18) and I(M20) had a myriad of problems. Basically a dead bedroom, got pissed if I watched porn, furthered dead bedroom. Many many many break ups (over the course of 3.5 years) stemming from this and the stress it put on our lives. Eventually came to an end with me sexting random girls online. (no pictures sent, just text. Some had tumblrs in which they posted photos of themselves).
So after all of this she said she was done. At first I wanted her back, and I still do care about her but recognize this relationship as a pretty bad situation. Talked to her about it and she said she wants to remain friends and it would kill her to see me date someone else, but we don't go well together. When she said this I still wanted to be with her, and told her we should just be friends for awhile and possibly try to be in a relationship in the future.
Shortly after I met a new girl (F18) who I thought was pretty cute. I got her number, and we are about to go out for the first time. | ex-gf and I had lots of problems, ended with me sexting other girls. I suggested being friends for awhile and then trying again in the future. Since then I met a new girl, interested, about to go on 1st date. |
t3_h77qs | AskReddit | What is the most embarrassing/awkward situation you have found yourself in at work or school? | I was working alone at a liquor store, luckily there were no customers in the store because as I was lifting some heavy boxes I squatted down to get to the bottom shelf and my pants split completely open.
There I was with my pants revealing everything working in the store by myself I had no idea what to do. I first unsuccessfully tried to staple the tear back together, then I remembered that my boss usually gets changed at work and leaves his work clothes behind so I squeezed my way into his work pants which were 2 sizes too small for me and worked the rest of the shift with really tight pants that didn't even cover my ankles and couldn't do up properly. | Completely tore open my pants at work |
t3_34p8s2 | relationships | Me [24 M] was rejected by a girl [19 F]. I suspect it is because I was acting desperate and oversharing information because I really like her. Should I hang out with her again, being myself this time, or should I move on? | I had a coffee catchup with a girl I have a crush on. I really like her. During the catchup I was very cringy and a little desperate. For example I was oversharing information to make some sort of a connection happen, rather than going with the flow of the conversation.
I got more and more nervous and even desperate as our catchup went on. Towards the end of the hour, I asked her if she would like to go on a proper date with me. She said no, but said we should go as friends.
As you can guess I'm pretty bummed out about it.
I am wondering should I go out with her as friends next time and be normal and not oversharing, and see what happens from there? See if a relationship naturally develops? Of course in the meantime I will continue living my life and won't be obsessing about her.
Or is it over already and should I totally forget about her? | Was desperate and over-sharing on a casual coffee catch up. Asked her on a date and got rejected. Should I forget about her or try again, this time letting things develop naturally instead of oversharing. |
t3_3hfspl | tifu | TIFU by being grumpy at work | I work in thelogistics department at a pharmaceutical warehouse not to for from my house. Part of my job is checking/breaking seals on trailers that come in. Since I arrive at 6 am every morning, most drivers aren't happy to see me. One driver decided to give me a bit of lip about waking him up earlier than normal to which I explained to him that I had to wake up before him to wake him up, so imagine how tired I am. My shift supervisor commented on my lack of enthusiasm and I immediately started ranting about some asshole driver completely forgetting I saw him just around the corner from my desk. The only thing that saved me was him listening to music. | I was grumpy at work and started shit talking a truck driver at work but he couldn't hear me and I'm extremely grateful. |
t3_29ztjd | relationships | Boyfriend (26M) and I (21F) have been dating for six months-- he still talks to his ex. Am I wrong in feeling upset about this? | All right... let me try to explain this in as little time as possible.
Andrew had been dating Katie on/off for ~8 years. He and I met last February and have had a pretty spectacular relationship. The only issue I have with us is that they two still talk. He never tells me when they hang out and I only find out when she leaves something in his car, or, recently noticed her foot prints on windshield. He never tells me when they talk, but I know that they text frequently. He still goes on her facebook, likes her things, etc. Tries to hide the fact that he helps her out (couple of months ago, he had to bring "someone" to the airport- I asked if it was Katie and he apologized for hiding it). He still has some things from their relationship, but not much...
I just get upset when she knows that I'm with him (texts him the night of July 4th) and deliberately leaves things around so I find them. He doesn't think anything of it and reassures me that he doesn't have feelings for her but I don't know. We've both cheated in relationships.
We're both trying to figure out how to communicate better, because both of us hold things in. We've had talks about this before, and I've told him how I felt as if there isn't a whole lot of room for me in his life when I feel like I'm sometimes competing with her. And that no matter what, she will always come first between her and me because of their history together.
I feel guilty for hating her, feeling jealous, and insecure. He's terrified of losing me, and me cheating on him. I'm leaving for a week later this month and I have no doubts that they two will be hanging out together. | boyfriend of 6m frequently hides talking with his ex, I'm extremely jealous of this and I don't know how to effectively communicate this to him. I feel bad for feeling this way. |
t3_vim7w | AskReddit | Reddit I just let my best friend suck my dick, Should I feel bad? | Im straight and he is gay. I really enjoy being with him. We have been together for over over an year now and feels like we can trust each other with money, girls or anything you name it. Last week me and him were out celebrating his 21st and he got really drunk and I asked him if he ever had feelings for me. He said he did and he even tried to kiss me that night but I stopped him. It was awkward though as I politely stopped him and I said to him that I'm straight and I don't want to mess up our friendship. Next morning everything was fine , we were again best friends and did the usual stuff. But yesterday we both were talking and he kinda convinced me to let him suck my dick. Now I thought what the hell, he's my best friend and he is not asking me to do anything and its completely harmless and he is enjoying so I just let him. But today I was talking to my gf and I had this bad feeling and it just feels bad as if I cheated on her. She knows about my gay best friend but she doesn't know I let him. Should I feel bad reddit? | Straight guy with a gf here , let gay best friend suck my dick, Should I feel bad? |
t3_4rej79 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] together 1 year. She broke up with me 2 months ago but she's still on my mind, is this normal? | It was a long distance relationship, and for the year that we were a couple we were only physically together for about half that time.
This is more about how I am reacting to the break up and I want to know if anyone else reacts like this/if it's normal.
We broke up 8 weeks ago and I kept talking to her occasionally for about 4 weeks after we broke up. In the 4 weeks since we haven't talked she was on my mind a lot initially but faded away and I hardly thought about her for a while and felt a lot more positive. Over the past week though I have been thinking about her more and more and it feels like a step backward again by letting myself fall back into it.
A friend told me it being my first 'proper' break up/heartbreak is why it's having this effect on me, anyone agree? Has anyone else felt like this after a break up? Any general advice for help getting over someone?
Thanks! | Ex GF broke up with me and since we stopped talking I felt like I was getting over her but now she's getting on my mind a lot more, is that normal/regular? |
t3_1v3qc2 | legaladvice | Proven Victim of Fraud of 1 bank yet unable to stop the other bank from repeatedly sending letters despite providing them with proof | My father had lived in California 20+ years ago and then he moved permanently to Australia to be with my mother. In 2007, my father received a letter from Discover bank notifying him that they had withdrawn $11,000 from his bank account because he had failed to pay his overdue credit card. This came as a complete surprise since he closed his last credit card account prior to moving to Australia and the other fact that he had never been back to America since moving to Australia permanently. Thus he was a victim of credit card fraud. Based upon those facts, my father won the case and the money was returned to his Australian bank account.
However there was another bank, Chase bank, which also had a fraudulent credit card account under my father's name. Chase bank sent their threatening letter in 2008 stating that they had placed a lien upon his property, to which we provided them with the same evidence that helped my father win his case with Discover Bank. We believed it was the end of this ordeal until we received another letter regarding the same case in 2011. Again, we repeated the process. But alas, in December 2013, my father received his third letter regarding the exact same case. However, this time they have threatened to follow through with a sheriff's execution sale and sell off his property unless we pay up. I'm planning on writing a letter that says pretty much what I've posted here but with more details and evidence but I don't know if that's enough to stop them from sending us more letters in the future about the same case.
How can we stop them sending us letters even though we provide them with sufficient proof that my father is a victim of credit card fraud and therefore doesn't owe them anything? | My father, victim of identity theft, won the case against one bank. The other bank is still sending letters despite being provided with proof multiple times that my father is a victim of identity theft. How can we make them stop sending us letters? |
t3_4c783t | relationships | I [23M] don't know how to approach my gf's [21F] complaining/negativity. | My gf constantly complains about the people in her life, even aspects of other's lives that have almost nothing to do with her. It is extremely frustrating to listen to her just sit there and bitch about thing after thing, person after person. I don't know how to approach the problem at all. While she rambles i tend to have the energy completely sucked out of me, I tune her out after a while, and I can't help but thinking of dumping her.
I'm also afraid it is partially me. I suffer from mild depression/anxiety (self diagnosed lol) from time to time and as a result negative thinking impacts me rather hard. I'm worried that if I dump her it'll be a big mistake, but I'm also worried that thinking that is just keeping me from taking action that might make me happy in the long run.
I'm pretty lost and could use some advice. | Gf complains about everything and it's driving me up the wall. Help? |
t3_33wn6a | tifu | TIFU by scolding a blind, half-deaf lady | So I needed a few things at the supermarket. Got in my car, drove there, got out, grabbed a basket and did my thing.
A few minutes later, I was standing at the till with basket in hand. Since I had only collected a small amount of items, I stood in line for the express till. There were 3 people in front of me - the closest to me was a middle aged lady. I saw that she had a trolley filled to the brim with all manner of goods. Having been in this situation before, and bristling with frustration, I decided to bite the bullet and berate her for using the express till to buy a whole truckload of stuff. By this time, there was a fairly sizeable line forming behind me, and some of the patrons were also visibly upset, and glad that I was taking a stand.
After a short lecture, I realised she wasn't responding. In fact, I noticed she wasn't even looking at me. Almost right on cue, another woman, wearing a maid's uniform, comes squeezing past me with a bag of milk and puts it in the lady's trolley. I ask the new arrival why they are in the express line.
Long story short, it turns out the poor lady was blind as a bat and half-deaf, and seeing as it was a huge mission for her to leave the house, she had come out with her caregiver on a quarter-yearly trip to buy provisions for the next few months. Neither of them had noticed that they were standing in the express line, and I had to watch them struggle to move out of the way and join the mile-long queue for the regular till next to us. | I ruined a blind, half-deaf woman's quarter-yearly trip to the shops by embracing my inner suburban mother. |
t3_26aoo1 | relationships | How did you ask your significant other to live with you for the first time? | My boyfriend(22M) and I(19F) have been together for almost a year and a half. We were best friends for a year (and into each other the whole time) before we started dating and did long distance across Canada for a whole year before he moved back home (he lived here then moved out there for a year and came back). We've both lightly talked about living together, saying things like, "hey if we ever live together we should get/do this!" Kind of thing and I stay at his place a lot and he jokingly suggests leaving things there since i'm there so often. He's living with our mutual best friend right now, who isn't that great (at all) of a roommate and would really like to move out. We have a friend who's also in a tough spot and wants to move out of her dad's house. I was thinking of asking my boyfriend if he wanted to live together, with our friend. Split the rent in 3 to make it cheaper. I've never lived with a boyfriend, but I would really like to take the next step forward in our relationship, whether we're living with a friend or not. How did you ask your boyfriend or girlfriend if they wanted to live together and how did it turn out? | I(19F) want to ask my boyfriend(22M) of almost 1 1/2 years to move out with me after I graduate college (3 months from now) with a mutual friend to make the rent cheaper. I've never lived with a boyfriend so I'm a little scared. How did you ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to live with you and how did it turn out? |
t3_4sonim | Advice | Job A vs Job B (engineering positions) | So I have a huge problem, I have been working Job A for 1 and a half months, and Job B (which I interviewed for a day after job A interview) just offered me the position, for about 1/6th MORE than my current salary at job A. I really like everyone at Job A, and have heard some bad and some good stories about Job B. Job B is more what I want to do, but Job A would help me advance in the future faster (management vs low position). In terms of the actual positions and what I am doing, Job B is going to be more fun, but I have made a lot of good friends at A which makes the day go by easier. I would also feel bad about going through 1 month of training and then quitting job A, and upsetting a lot of people I respect. | Job A is in a nicer location, pays worse, better for future employment, nice people, don't want to let people down who just started counting on me. Longer commute until I move into my own place |
t3_4ansb7 | relationships | I (M20) have been dating this girl(F24) for a month now. She feels insecure about my best friend(F18). What can i do to help? We have been talking about it a lot. How may i solve this issue without alienating either my girlfriend or my best friend? | So a little background about my bestfriend.. I have known her for a long time.. About 3 years now. We have a really platonic friendship and there has been no romantic interest whatsoever from me or from her. Also she is happily in her own relationship with her girlfriend.. (yes, girlfriend.) my best buddy is a bi. She and her partner has been nothing but supportive about my relationship with my girlfriend. Yet she still feels insecure. Threatened even..
They have all met each other(bestfriend, her partner and my gf) and they seemed to hit it off pretty well until doubts hit her and she overthinks everytime i say i am with my bestfriend.
My best friend is aware of it. And seems pretty cool about it. But i want to help my girl come to terms that her boyfriend has a female best friend. I want to help her deal with it or get over with it. So ladies and gentlemen of reddit, how do i proceed? | girlfriend being insecure about my bisexual female bestfriend. I want to help her get over it and accept it. |
t3_30eb82 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my (ex?)-girlfriend [21 F] of 15 months, I broke up with her yesterday and I'm having second thoughts | I've been dating a girl for 15 months now, and last Tuesday we had a big argument. I'd rather not go into the details, but suffices to say that we argue a lot over stupid things, and last Tuesday was no different. She tends to have a short temper, and is quick to insult me when small things go wrong. She also can be quite jealous, and has accused me of "checking out" or flirting with other girls when I wasn't. There have a lot of problems since we've been together, which is why I decided to end it. I'm having second thoughts now though.
I have no doubt that she really truly loves me, but just has a hard time controlling her emotions. Yesterday when I broke up with her, she was crying so hard she literally threw up. She begged me to give her another chance, and promised that she would try her hardest to change. To try to give you an idea of how much this means to me, she once told me that if we ever broke up, she would be absolutely heartbroken, but she wouldn't beg me to come back. I believed her because she also tends to be very prideful (not necessarily a bad thing), and I know how hard it must have been for her to swallow her pride and beg me to stay like that.
I didn't accept her pleas to give her another chance though (she's promised to change before, albeit never quite like this), and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I tend to be a VERY forgiving person, and it's difficult for me to stay angry at people even when they deserve it.
Now, I'm just completely confused about what to do. She is my first serious girlfriend, so I've never had to go through a breakup like this before. I still love her, I know she loves me, and there is nothing in the world that I want to do more than pick up my phone and call her to tell her I forgive her and we can get back together. The only thing stopping me is knowing that yesterday, I felt very strongly that we should end the relationship. | Broke up with girlfriend because she didn't treat me very well and is very jealous. She promises to change, and I want to be with her again, but I don't know if I can believe her. On top of that, feeling like the world's biggest asshole for breaking her heart. |
t3_1cu729 | loseit | Quick questions for you LoseIt concerning heart rate and calories ingested. | So I have began counting calories as of Sunday last week. I am 17. 185 lbs. 5' 9''
Using MyFitnessPal, my goal is around 1200. The past two days, I have found myself only eating about 700 calories. Is this healthy? I am by no means starving myself. If I am ever hungry, I will eat. I just choose to eat very low calorie foods (For dinner I had a spinach salad which totaled to about 200 calories).
My other question is a running question. I have always been fairly active and a decent runner for my chubby body type. I started taking up running again on the days I do not lift or dance (HipHop. Amazing Cardio). I began doing interval training with 3 minutes on 7mph, 3 minutes on 3 mph. I could usually make it about 30 minutes. Recently I got a heart rate monitor, I plugged my info in, and began running. This time I just ran straight at 7 for about 12 minutes, and I checked my heart rate and I was around 200 BPM. It felt just fine for the most part, but it scared me so I lowered the speed and rested. Is it dangerous for me to have my heart rate above 200, especially if I feel fine? | Is it okay to only eat like 700 calories a day? Is it bad to have my heart rate over 200? |
t3_fsact | AskReddit | IAMA student of sustainable agriculture, considering work in N. Africa. Issues? Comments? | **Background:**
I believe that industrialized scale, desalination enabled, irrigation projects in locations where agriculture is usually infeasible is an essential part in the global solution to feed the future population of humans. We are going to need to pull every trick in the book to provide the fundamental needs of 12 billion people.
Case and point is northern Africa. Properly resourced, this area has been very fertile; that is until the aquifer that provided the surplus of water for irrigation was taxed beyond recharge and the thriving culture collapsed. I think that modern technology could provide a level of output, sustainably, that could significantly improve the prospects for the local producers and open global markets.
I will probably be doing a Masters in this field. | I am a University student in Canada, studying to become a professional Agrologist. My chosen field might take me to N. Africa, partly because of the chance for new large capital projects with new governments. How long do people think this area will be unstable? Is this phenomenon going to make it's way into Morocco? |
t3_4qgssp | relationships | Me [27F] with my bf [29 M] of 4 months. He still has pics, mementos from ex. Trying to figure out what's acceptable to keep from previous relationships and what's poor etiquette? | I have always struggled with jealousy in past relationships. That's generally about their exes, and never regarding current events ("you were flirting with her!" etc). However, I realize that the past doesn't just disappear just because you're seeing someone new, and some may wish to keep some stuff or memories from past relationships. Myself, I have a letter from an ex hidden underneath my bed. I never really read it, but I like having it there because I want to save the content of it.
Now, my new bf of 4 months got out of a long term relationship more than a year ago, but he still keeps a few things which bother me:
- Her headshots are on his laptop
- Some of her belongings are buried in piles of other stuff in his fairly messy house (so that they keep popping up every now and then, which angers him as he doesn't like having those things around, but hasn't gotten rid of any of those things either)
- A very cheesy declaration of his undying love for her, publicly, as a tagged picture on Facebook; this is actually one of the most recently tagged pictures he has even though that was more than a year ago
I'm working on myself a lot because I recognize that jealousy is really about me, not about the other person. I know that it's just fear in another form. However, where do I draw the line - what kind of memories from a previous relationship are acceptable to keep/not get rid of when entering a new relationship? The Facebook picture is making me cringe just thinking about it because it's extremely over the top of him writing "we're soulmates" and so forth, but would it be reasonable for me to ask him to remove it? | Bf keeps a few things reminding me of his ex-gf, I find some of them more invasive/offensive than others. Can I ask him to remove those things, or am I being overly jealous? |
t3_559zxg | dating_advice | I (26m) am interested in someone (22f) and need some input. | So I just started up college again and met this girl through some clubs I'm in. We've talked a couple of times, I think she's pretty cute and we get along pretty well. She says hi whenever she sees me and seems decently interested in what I have to say. I feel like we both have fun whenever we talk, and I'd like to get to know her a bit more outside of the club setting.
Next week, my friend's band is playing at a local bar after the club meeting we both go to. I was planning on going and thought about inviting her as well. They'll likely only play for about 30-40 minutes (opening act) and it's free, so I feel like it'll avoid some of the common pitfalls involved with going to concerts as a date.
I'm just worried that it wouldn't be the best idea, but it seemed like a good pick to me since 1. I'm going anyways, and 2. I'll see her right before it in the club, making it convenient. But I also have to worry about the fact that it's on a weekday, so she could be too tired? I also don't know how into music she is (but she seemed to be interested in whatever bands I've shown her) and even though the band is only playing for about 30 minutes, we'd still have to basically go somewhere else to have a conversation. | Would asking a girl I'm into to go to see my friend's band play for about 30 minutes at a bar and then maybe walking around/going somewhere else after be a good idea? I'm going anyways and I'll see her right before the show at a club we're both in. Or should I come up with another idea? |
t3_12rjbn | relationship_advice | How to help him emotionally reconnect | We've been dating for about 7 months now and yes the honeymoon phase has ended. I've known him personally for a 1 year and few months though since i friend zoned him for about 7 months. He says he loves me and is happy with me but not the relationship and that he woke up one day and just lost that deep emotional connection with me which he blames on lack of communication on my part. I've accepted the fact that I'm not good at communicating well with others but i have changed and others agree. But he never communicated with me how miserable he felt, or talked to me the day he lost said connection. I feel like we both messed up but that this is something we can fix and is not break up worthy. He just kept this to himself until recently and has agreed to give me some time to try and fix it though he's scared and frustrated that he won't get it back though he still loves me and has shown that. I also love him and stay hopeful. We went from hanging out all the time to seeing each other only every now and then and we didn't talk that much. I believe that if we just spend more alone time together and communicate better this can easily be fixed. Am I wrong? is this not an obstacle that we can get passed? This is the first time something serious has happened to us. if you want more details just ask, I didn't want to write an essay. Thank you in advance! | Does spending more time with someone you love help regain back that deep, emotional connection? Is it not impossible to feel that again? |
t3_3iw3wu | relationships | Me [27/F] with my EX BF [33 M] of 4 YRS, he keeps sending me presents after his latest breakup | Hello, was wondering if anyone could decipher male behaviour for me. I broke up with my ex bf 3 years ago and for the past 2 years I keep getting birthday presents from him.
I was dumped via email. I had a lot of dignity and just accepted the gesture for what it was. I was really shocked but he had started treating me really bad so I think it was predictable. He cried when I packed my things from his place.
I then left my country and started a new life. In the meantime, I maintained contact with him and we talk via email from time to time. Last year I got a birthday present out of the blue which I could not explain...it was from him. I knew he was with a girl I once photographed (it's my hobby) and who used to message him a lot on facebook (thanks for that) while we were still together, flirting and all.
I did some digging (she has a blog which includes personal photos and some posts) an apparently they had also broken up because she went to study somewhere else.
I left out a lot of details, but he was pretty awful to me during the relationship. After our first year together, he started criticizing everything I did, how I dressed ("slutty for wearing heels"), what I said in public, how I was in bed, how I didn't have a job, everything. He compensated this with a lot of presents and there were a lot of good days as well, but I never felt respected.
The second gf after me was treated like a queen. A younger, prettier version of myself. | So why is he sending me these gifts? Is it because he feels lonely since his last gf left him? |
t3_4hkxpx | relationships | Clueless guy (me) [16M] has no idea how to ask out close friend [16F] | I'm sorry if this is the type of thing that gets asked a lot, I don't generally browse this sub.
My best friend [16F] broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago, and is starting to date again. I've liked her pretty much the whole time we've known each other, and I'd like to ask her out. The problem I always have with asking girls out isn't lacking the confidence required to say the words, but rather not knowing what words to say. My go to is usually something like "do you want to hang out sometime," but I already hang out with her all the time, so I feel like that would just come off as a weird thing to say. What can I say her to make it clear that I'm asking her out? She's probably going to say no anyway, but I'd at least like her to know where I stand.
Again, sorry if this is a thing that people ask a lot, or if you don't really care about my lame ass high school problems. | How do I ask out a close friend |
t3_507puz | relationships | Me [23 M] with my GF [22 M/F] 2 years, she always checks my phone | A little backstory from about a year ago; I was hanging out with a friend who I met at college she is much older than I am (46F) we mostly used to study together I considered her my other mother because I can talk to her about stuff my real mom wouldn't understand, I would go over to her home and hangout with her kids, like a babysitter while she did her school work (independent mom with 2 kids). Any ways one day I went over to her house to watch the kids for a little while, I had told my girlfriend I was going to hang out with a friend while she was at work (probably my mistake was not telling my girlfriend about her.) My girlfriend was going to have lunch at a certain time and I was running a bit late, when I met up with her for lunch we were driving and my phone goes off, its a text from my other mother saying "thanks for watching the kids," then my girlfriend immediately got furious asking who this person was and why she was texting and so on and so forth. I took a few minutes to explain to her who she was and what I was doing, she was still a little salty because I didn't tell her who I was with, I think she thinks that I lied to her granted this was fairly early in our relationship. Jump to year later she occasionally goes through my phone to see who I've been texting, I don't hide anything from her but I don't feel comfortable letting her go through my phone, (no their isn't anything I'm hiding from her). I don't know why she insists on going through my phone, did I break her trust even though I told her everything? why does she need to go through my phone? | Hung out with friend and her kids, didn't tell my GF which friend I was with, now she checks my phone and I want her to stop. |
t3_1oiiz3 | AskReddit | Where can I get affordable counseling or training to help me improve my time management skills and become more responsible? | Lately, I've felt that I am far too indulgent and it leads to me wasting time on whatever feels good in the moment, shirking my duties, and otherwise being unaccountable. I don't want to be that person. I have so many ideas, goals, and dreams that I'm not executing because of what I tend toward and am most comfortable with.
Where can I seek *professional* help with this besides a normal counselor? Or are there counselors who specialize in this type of help?
I know the key here is mostly to "just *do* it" (it being whatever I should be doing). I am trying to improve in this way and I'm getting better, but I'd really like better tools and inspiration for doing so, hopefully from a professional. I need a big push to help inspire a turnaround in my life, and my baby steps are too small of steps (not to mention inconsistent).
Also, I'd prefer that it be affordable... what is affordable varies per person but if you know of any inexpensive methods, I definitely want to hear about those. I am on a big college campus (Michigan State) so there may be resources near me that I don't know about, for students or based on income. | Where can I get professional help with time management and responsibility to supplement my own efforts to turn my life around? |
t3_38qyq2 | relationship_advice | Slept with a girl twice, known her two weeks. idk how to judge these things, but could she be a mistake? | ok, so im not the most experienced person with girls, infact im 20 and just lost my virginity last week... This girl is 18 and she said she has had 3 partners in her life. one for 2 years.
But anyway, I went on a night out and met her a few hours into it. I talked and danced and stuff, then maybe 30 mins before closing time we get to kissing. she even got me a drink... no cash machine, I had spent the last of my money getting my friend a drink, dropping it, and getting him another. so she thought that was nice and got me one.
her cousin was out with her, and apparently she was telling me to back off... but I dont remember that happening. we even met her cousin outside after it closed. prime time to go back with her, rather than me. anyway, she comes back, we have sex and sleep in till 1, but she stayed till 3 (I wasnt going to kick her out)
then we are meant to be just going on a date last night, we go place to place, have a fun night. not much touching or such. but still, we end up kissing later on and having sex again. though a topic of convo was that not happening.
anyway, wanna meet her again as she is nice, but still not sure if thats a bad thing so far. | Met girl twice, had sex both times, is that a bad thing? |
t3_1idorf | relationships | How do I [21/M] stop being so awkward? | I'm an awkward person. I don't have much experience socially outside of a few people I met through school and I definitely lack romantic experience. I'm 21 and I've only had one romantic experience (that I fear might be over) completely due to my own inability to step out of my shell and be more relaxed.
Every time I see this come up the answer is generally the same "Talk to people" and I agree that works but I'm having trouble making that leap. I'm having trouble saying hi to people. With my girlfriend (20/F), she is fantastic, kind, easy to talk to for me, everything I could want in someone, but I just can't seem to get myself to make her feel like she's my girlfriend.
She told me today that she doesn't want to make the first moves to get this relationship going further and I agree that she shouldn't have to, I want to be the person to initiate kissing or holding hands or whatever it is I want to do that. I can't seem to make myself do that for whatever reason you want to assign to it. | How do I make the first move and stop being awkward? How do I break my shell? |
t3_1v5g3o | loseit | SV- 32 year old/ 6'4"/ 315.8 lb. Updating my flair and really excited about it and motivated by it. | I weighed 337 lbs in early December, by far the most I have ever weighed, when I saw that I was shocked and immediately loaded up on veggies and got rid of all of the chips and other unhealthy snacks in my house. Weighed myself after christmas and I was down to 326, and I decided to get serious.
I started exercising 2 weeks ago today, for the first time in my life, aside from playing football in HS and college. First I tried T25 and wasn't a huge fan, then switched to a lifting/cardio combo program I found on bodybuilding.com, lifting at the gym for employees where I work, supplementing with the T25 cardio disc on my days off.
On Sunday, I put the loseit app on my phone and am counting calories for the first time in my life.
I know that weight can fluctuate from day to day and I don't expect to continue losing at this pace (that would be unhealthy), but I am very motivated and ready to continue the lifestyle changes I have started in the last month+. | Went from 337 lbs to 315.8 since early December! Yay me, and yay for new flair! |
t3_2aekdx | relationships | Me [23 M] Broke up with my gf [22F] Been dating 1,5 year. Broke up on good terms. what do I do now? we lived together. | Hey. Im not native english so excuse me.
Well me and this girl meet at a wedding, it was wonderful and magical. I was living far away at that time but we kept on speaking and she came around visiting. In the end I moved back to our home town and we got an apartment togheter.
Everything was fine untill we moved apartmens once more (since the old one was crap).
Something changed she said. her feelings were not the same, during the time of the move I hade som troubling toughts with jealousy which caused abit of havok, but in the end that dident get in the way since we came over it.
Anyway, something happened and she was not very good with comunication. She never told me this untill now. the day of the breakup. Her friend contacted me and told me she had known for quiet a while but did want to intercept in the relationship.
Im sitting her now and im wondering how am I supose to deal with this? She left yesterday night to go sleep at her mothers. Im still in our apartment. Do I beginn to pack her stuff? shuld I take it easy? I have no clue. Im just a wreck. I still do care alot about this girl and she cares about me. She called me crying yesterday night wanting to come home which I told her no she could not. I just have no clue how to handle this. IM feeling like shit all the time.
Where do i go from here?
Sorry for the confusing wall of text. | Broke up on good terms.How do I handle the apartment and my feelings? |
t3_1djpk8 | AskReddit | What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done as a child? | I only ask because my "embarrassing thing" gets brought up every single time we have a family gathering. Wondering if anyone has an interesting stories.
I was 5 years old. Going to Kerry with family and all my aunts, Uncles and cousins (around 20 people). We are having a picnic in one of the local parks and all the children are wandering around the picnic sight playing and doing children stuff.
The story goes that I come up to one of my Aunts and go "Auntie, these raisins taste bad!" She is confused because we didn't pack raisins for the picnic. It seemed even stranger because raisins don't leave brown stains all over your mouth and teeth.
She asked where I got the raisins and I pointed to a pile of sheep shit on the ground about 10 meters away. So now the joke is you can't believe a word I say because of all the shit that's coming out of his mouth. | I ate a good amount of sheep shit. |
t3_l77og | relationships | Too soon to decide to get rid of the cats? | Me 32 (m) her 29 (f). We have been together for almost seven months going now. We are both madly in love, and are looking to start taking the next steps toward moving in together. She actually told her dad this yesterday, which was a huge step for her. I feel very strongly that this is the girl for me. In the short time that we have been together, we have quickly become best friends.
That being said, I currently have two cats that I adopted almost a year ago. They are amazing cats and I care for them a great deal. The problem is that my gf is hyper allergic to them. We're not talking stuffy nose here. We are talking full blown asthma attack, with rescue inhalers and Albuteral breathing treatments. She truly has major issues with them...
That being said, I do everything in my power to make ease her symptoms including changing the A/C filter frequently, and vacuuming with my Dyson every single day, even if she isn't coming over. I have even banned the kitties from the bedroom and bathrooms to give her a "cat-free" zone. In spite of all of my efforts, she still has horrible allergies, and frequently has to return to her house in the middle of the night for breathing treatments. I can't bear to see her like this.
So, with all of that backstory in mind, I have decided that I need to find a home for the cats. The only problem is that my friends say that six months is too soon to know that things are going to work out, and that I should wait to get rid of the cats to make sure things are going to last. I say that all relationships are a risk, and that you can never really be certain that it is going to last. I feel like the cats are keeping us from moving forward in our relationship and moving to the next level.
I really know what I want to do already, I'm just looking for some impartial opinions on what you guys think. | I'm madly in love with a girl who is allergic to my cats, and I think I need to find them a home so she can move in with me. My friends say that it is too soon. Seeking impartial opinions... |
t3_18w0y8 | relationship_advice | Did I fuck up with this Girl(19) I(20) like? | So basically I have this friend that I have feelings for and it turns out she has feelings for me too. Well anyways I asked her to be my valentines so we went out. I didnt kiss her but she made it pretty clear at the end of the night that she wanted me to.(She texted me asking why I didnt) Well we went out again last night and once again I didnt kiss her. She texted me all confused saying how she thought I liked her and how come Im not doing anything about it and to let her know if she should just move on. The truth is Ive never been in a relationship or kissed a girl before so I just got too nervous. So my question is should I wait to go out with her again to man up and kiss her which could be in as long as a week (since we both have pretty busy schedules) or should I stop by her house today and do it before I lose her? | I didnt kiss the girl after the 2nd date should I try and do it right away or wait till the next time we can go out? |
t3_1u4gad | relationship_advice | I (18/m) still love my ex (18/f) but she has a BF | Long story short, I broke up with her in late July because I was scared that I would not be able to see her while I was in college. I was so stupid back then and I thought that it was the right decision. For a while I tried talking with other girls but I realized it was only because I was trying to fill the missing gap that was my ex girlfriend. I have reason to believe that she was doing the same because she has been dating a kid for like 2 months. I have talked with my friend that are still in high school and they have said their relationship is so different from what we had. They never talk about each other on social media or have pictures on instagram which was the complete opposite of what her and I did. I know it sounds stupid, but its like nobody but them knows they are dating. I really care for her and I dont want to break them up, but at the same time I know for a fact I was a better boyfriend than this kid. I am talking to her a little now over text but I really want to tell her how I feel. I dont know what her plans are for college after she graduates but I know she has been accepted into my school and I have a really good feeling that she might be attending there. Additionally I will be home 4 days a week next semester to work so I would be able to see her. I don't know if I explained this well but I can give more details if needed, but can someone please help!! | Broke up with girlfriend a while back and I still love her but she has a boyfriend. |
t3_12xvt2 | relationships | I [18f] am unable to make a family celebration for thanksgiving out of state. My father [37m] refuses to accept it. | I work for a rather large retail chain. I'm seasonal, but I desperately need to make a good impression in order to get brought on and keep my job past January 1st.
About a week after I got & accepted my job offer, my dad told me that we "as a family" were going to his parents' in New York for Thanksgiving, which we have never /ever/ done. We live in DC, so it is a bit of a drive from here to upstate (western) New York.
I got my schedule for the week a few days ago and it is impossible for me to work around this trip he expects me to take, without losing the job I desperately need. I tried talking to HR, coworkers, etc to no avail. So I'm left with missing this trip.
I told him, explained I would call my grandparents and inform them of my absence and why, but he refuses to listen to me or to reason. He has been bullying me into just knuckling under and doing it since I brought it up.
A bit of background on my dad, he is diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have a strong feeling that it is contributing to this stunt. He threatens to change the locks on our house while I'm gone, and bitches and pisses and moans about how he doesn't want me living in his house, but will then go off and bitch because I'm "not allowed" (at 18? wtf) to have a job. But when I'm unemployed I'm lazy and worthless and need to get out of the house by Saturday/etc.
How can I make him understand that this is what is going to happen, and that he needs to grow up and get over it? | Due to work I have to miss a family gathering for thanksgiving. My dad has been acting ridiculous about it, bullying me and trying to get me to quit said job to appease him. How do I make him understand he is NOT getting his way with this, with as little damage as possible? |
t3_2qcsxh | relationships | Fiancee [24F] changed mind from wanting kids to being childfree with me [25M] | I'm just a bit lost on what to do.
I met my fiancee 6 years ago and early on we discussed kids. She was enthusiastic about having kids and was the first one to bring it up. I agreed, because I wanted kids as well. Everything was great and lined up.
Around a year ago, she changed her mind on this to now wanting to be childfree. It was a shock to me, because we had previously discussed this and I thought we were on the same page. She said that she had begun reading /r/childfree and felt that kids were now a pain.
She explained that she had changed her mind because she felt that kids were too expensive and that they're too noisy, loud, and don't get a personality until they're older and that you've already suffered enough raising them as a baby at that point. As proof, she linked me to several posts on /r/childfree. It was a very sudden shift, and she admitted that it was misleading since she did want to have kids until very recently.
We decided not to do anything because of the possibility of her changing her mind back (or me changing mine). I honestly thought she was just reacting to some posts that she had read and that it was a snap judgment.
But here we are 1 year later and she's still adamant about not wanting kids, but says she thinks she might change her mind later on, but she doesn't know if she will. She proposed a 5 year trial period where if she doesn't want kids in 5 years and I do, we break up.
I'm torn. I love this woman and we've had almost no issues with our relationship outside of this single issue -- but this is the one issue you can't compromise on. I don't want to go through with the 5 years of uncertainty, but I don't know how else to save my relationship. | Wife and I agreed that we wanted kids early in the relationship. 5 years later, she changed her mind. It's been a year and she's still wanting to be childfree, but wants a 5-year trial period. |
t3_371mt8 | tifu | Tifu by asserting my dominance | This FU happened Friday night. My brother is in town visiting and my wife, brother, and I were drinking beers and doing shots. A lot of shots. The last thing I remember was taking some cookies out of the oven. According to my wife and brother, I said good night and went to bed. Fast forward to this morning. I wake up naked on the couch, with a towel covering my junk. My wife sees I'm waking and says I need to talk to you about what you did last night. Ooooook I said and head to the bedroom to get clothes on. She comes in and proceeds to tell me the story. Apparently I went for a little sleep walk. I walked into my 11 year old sons and started pissing all over the back of his dresser. He woke up "Dad, what are you doing?" to which I replied, "peeing". "Why dad?" to which I proceeded to walk into his closet and start pissing all over. He ran and got my wife and she came in and got me out of the closet and I started pissing all over his dresser again. I finally finish and walk out of the room and downstairs to the couch. The wife said it took 14 towels to clean up. After hearing the story, I went out and apologized to my son, who has a good sense of humor, and he just laughed and said, "Why, dad?" All I can picture is him curled in a fetal position in the corner sobbing, "Why dad?" | Slept pissed all over sons room and made my wife clean it up. Need to start chaining myself in bed, but now if my son doesn't want to listen, I just tell him I'm going to go piss in his room. |
t3_l0rur | AskReddit | Can someone who is a picky eater change their ways? | So here's the issue; my boy friend is a picky eater. He almost literally grew up eating solely beef products and fried chicken and has continued this pattern into his 20's. I have had him try pastas (starting small), but he gags as soon as the food touches his lips. he later reports that the reflex was due to the idea of the food and sometimes the texture, and not the actual taste.
I am a very adventurous eater and would like to be able to share this with him, also be able travel or simply try new restaurants with out having him starve. As of late he is willing to try new things more willing but the results are always the same "EWWWW". What do I do? What *CAN* I do? | My boyfriend only like chicken and steak, we cant travel or go out to eat. he is willing to try new foods, ie pasta, but is instantly repulsed, can I help him? |
t3_4e8hh8 | relationships | My [21M] friend [23M] asked me to be his wingman for a girl [22F] he likes. Now she likes me instead, and he's mad at me. | So my friend Dan (fake name) asked me to come drinking with him and this girl he's into so I could help the two connect. I agreed, mainly because he had been with me through some hard times while I had depression. He's not great with girls and gets a bit awkward around them when he likes them, so I figured I could help out.
I met Dan at the bar and she came in shortly after, and we all talked for a while. I made sure to make Dan and Stacey (again, fake name) the center point of conversation, and highlighted some of his pros while downplaying his flaws. Stacey seemed to take it very well, and by the end of the night I was sure they were going to go home together and potentially begin a relationship after that.
A few days had gone by when Dan sent me a text. He said that because Dan and Stacey were such good friends, she trusted him when she told him that she was actually very into me, instead of Dan.
What do I do? I'm so torn inside. I found her attractive as well and I could see why Dan would like her, but I feel like dating her would be wrong, because Dan is the one who introduced Stacey to me, as his wingman.
Also, how can I help Dan? She just told him she likes me, while I tried to get her to like Dan. He's crushed because he really thought that she was attracted to him, and now she's, well, not. And even worse, she likes me instead. He's also mad at me, although I don't think there's anything I could have done about it.
Reddit, please help. I want Dan to stop hating me, and Stacey to like Dan. | Dan likes Stacey and asked me to be his wingman. I tried and now she likes me and Dan hates me for her liking me, although there's nothing I couldn't have done. |
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