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t3_zeogq | AskReddit | Girlfriend issues, who was in the wrong? What do I do? | So my girlfriend missed her period by a week, she has been getting a lot of pains in her womb area also so she went to the dr after work. We live together but she stayed at her mums after the doctors.
She text me saying "looks like we need to talk lol" so i asked her to pick me up to talk, she said no I'm eating, so i said i'd cycle over and speak for 5 mins. then she said no I'm going to be in the bath… basically cutting me off at any chance. So I ignore her and just cycle over anyway and she rings halfway and says that she's going out with her friend and that she'll speak to me Friday (2 days time) so I'm thinking no that isn't on.. somethings up and I don't want to rot my brain for 2 days over thinking since that's my main problem currently.
So I knock her door and she is in the bath, lets me in and proceeds to tell me to leave and that she doesn't want to speak to me. I said just tell me what the dr said and she reiterates how much i need to fuck off and that she hates me for coming over when she said not to. So I said just tell me whats wrong and ill leave, she said she had a pregnancy test, one was positive the other failed so they don't know if she is or not yet until a proper result is back. Before actually telling me she began crying because I wouldn't leave and told me she wanted to break up, so straight after I left and text her when I left saying that she needs to grow up and that I have feelings as well, I only wanted to see her as I was concerned about her health and the pregnancy matter.
She has since told me that she hates me for coming over and that she hopes she isn't pregnant so i can be out of her life forever and that she regrets moving in with me.
What the fuck, was I in the wrong for being concerned about her health and going over there to talk? Seems suspicious to me that she wants to get me out of the house so quickly. | Girlfriend may be pregnant, goes to the Dr to check and text me that we need to talk. Wouldn't talk until 2 days time and made a fuss and practically broke up with me when I went over to talk even after she said no. |
t3_m15l5 | legaladvice | Apartment refuse to move us without a huge fee. | Here are some pictures of my apartment: [Pictures] ( We recently experienced a mold problem here in our apartment. We suspect that we have the black mold in our apartment. We called the owner of the our apartment and it took them a month before they tried to fix the problem. When they came over to fix the problem sprayed what they told me was chlorine and then left the area over night with the yellow tornado blower to dry. Although they have sprayed the problem with chlorine and have patched the ceiling, we still have concerns about the structural integrity of the apartment despite how the management has assured us the problem has been resolved. Based upon the pictures attached, do you think that chlorine would be able to stop the problem? Additionally, do you think it is safe to be living in an apartment with a problem like this? Today I requested to move to a different part of the property but they insist to charge us moving fees while telling us the problem is resolved. I contacted the health department and disease control and nobody can do anything about it. What can I do Reddit? | mold problem, nobody can do anything. |
t3_52h3u9 | personalfinance | Career advice+baby on the way | r/pf--please help me out at this fork in the road. Here's my situation--I've been in my current position for about 2 years now and it's going pretty well. I make good money for my field (state government) and generally enjoy my work. Recently, my supervisor took a job elsewhere at my agency, leaving the position of my direct supervisor vacant. I'm pretty well poised to apply for this position--the two previous people to have that position came from my team and I'm very driven, so I think I could handle it. I've got a good rapport with the person doing the hiring, so I think I have a good shot. Pay increase would be at least $10K. This job is a fair bit harder than my job, though. The stakes are higher and the work more demanding. Talking with my previous supervisor, she lamented not staying in my current position longer (she had my job for two years, then moved up to the supervisory position).
To complicate the calculus more, I'm currently 5 months pregnant with our first child. We're excited, but at the same time, I have no idea what being a parent is going to be like. I'm very committed to my work, but I'm not sure how happy I'll be with my job if I'm working 10 hour days with a toddler at home. I do plan on going back to work after maternity leave, regardless. The increase in pay would mostly pay for daycare, which would be awesome. But I'm still unsure of the cost/benefit. My husband is the primary breadwinner, so even if I got the promotion, I'd still only be making 60% of what he makes. We can afford the kid on our current salaries--more money is better, of course, and the other consideration is that I'm worried about stifling my career because of the kid then of course I think of the gender politics of it all. Without the kid, I think it'd 80% go for the promotion (there are always drawbacks!) but with the baby on the way, I'm 50/50.
Any input or advice would be appreciated. | promotion opportunity available with additional money and responsibilities, but baby on the way |
t3_19957b | dating_advice | [17m] Things starting to look bright. | Hey everyone. I'm back!
Link to the old threads I made here.
So, I'll get you up to speed with the details.
I did a lot of thinking over the holiday break about this. We saw each other a few times with other people, since it was almost impossible to get her to do something with her alone. (And the other guy from the previous thread also **HAD** to come along.
I came to the conclusion after she went away for a few weeks away from contact, that she was not interested in having any sort of relationship with me. I decided to just sweep it under the mat and let it fade away, and she did not bring up anything about it again.
Me being me, I kept some sort of hope that maybe something would turn around and she would reconsider, but I wouldn't be as 'devoted' as I was before about it.
So we finally get back to school after the long break and she has been definitely acting a lot differently towards and around me for the last six weeks. She is talking to me a lot more, interacting with me a lot more, actually responding to messages and instigating conversations with me instead of me having to start everything, but it is still somewhat obvious that she still likes my other friend (almost forgot: I, in my stupidity, convinced her to ask him out before she left for two weeks before the holidays, to which he politely declined.)
So I am wondering, is this just a coincidence or could it possibly lead to something else? I don't want to get my hopes up with this but at the same time I also don't want to possibly miss out on an opportunity.
Also as a side note: The final formal dance is coming up in a few months. Depending on how this all turns out, could that be a possibility for me to ask her to it to spend some time with her?
Am I just over thinking this again? | Had previous bad experience with girl and she appears to be a different person towards me after long break |
t3_4chhhv | relationships | I [25 M] refuse to 'chase' or 'roll out the red carpet' when I am pursing. Is this wrong? | "If she is as ambitious and intelligent as I want her to be, she will see everything I have to offer her and send me an indication of interest."
I understand that as a male in the US, I am obligated to initiate the first 'step' in showing interest to someone. Specifically, me telling her that "I enjoy spending time with you", or "I think you are really interesting".
When I let a girl know that I am interested in her and ask if she wants to spend time with me, I expect that she reciprocates my notion if she is interested and agrees.
If I ask a girl out for coffee and she says anything but "yes, when?" then I take it as a solid "No."
"Maybe, Possibly, We'll See, I'll Let you know", any possible variable besides a solid yes, to me, is a rejection. So I immediately stop (romantically) talking to her.
Any step that I take to pursue her after I initially make my intentions clear, I consider that 'chasing'.
Someone on facebook posted that her boyfriend would ask her out a few times a week for an entire year until she finally caved and now they are married. I think that the idea of being with somebody who is making you beg to be with them is just so GROSS and BELITTLING. And I refuse to do it.
Reddit: Am I being unreasonable? Should I wake up to the real world? | When I make my intentions/feelings clear to a girl ONCE, I do not pursue until she reciprocates my attention and I am asking you guys if this is a false way of thinking. |
t3_2kbx72 | relationships | Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 5 years are in a loving relationship, but he has anger problems. | Usually, our relationship is very fun and loving, with both of us being goofballs towards each other. He's in no way abusive towards me, and not a violent person.
Due to circumstances in his life, he's been stressed out a lot the past few years. Because of this, he's steadily losing control of his patience when he gets pissed off.
He's never physically harmed me, but when he's completely angered by something/someone, his mind blanks out and he ends up throwing things nearest to him (not directed at me) or yelling. He's broken his phone before because of this, and once punched his younger brother in the face.
I was raised in a family where my parents would fight and yell a lot to each other when I was a child, so I've been slightly traumatized by yelling (he knows this).
When my boyfriend goes into his anger mode, sometimes I end up crying and unable to do anything. Other times, I'm okay, but I don't know how to calm him down. When he finally calms down, he apologizes profusively, and does things to cheer me up.
He's willing to go to therapy for his anger, but as of right now, he doesn't have the money or the time to go.
I'm afraid that if this keeps up, he'll end up doing irreversible damage that'll he'll regret. Is there any way I can help him overcome this, or calm him down when he's angry? I've contempated hugging him and trying to talk to him during his rage, but I end up freezing up because I'm scared.
Thank you in advance Reddit! | Boyfriend blanks out and breaks things/yells when he's super angry. What can I do? |
t3_2mhcih | relationship_advice | I'm [23/M] confused about an independent [19/F] who's into me but is super hard to read. | I meet this girl about a month ago. We live in a college town. Her parents divorced when she was younger and she has been working a year straight to afford to come out to this college. She works 30 hours a week and goes to school, so she is very busy. She says she likes me but she has a hard time showing her emotions. We will cuddle and talk a lot in person but when it comes to communicating over texting, it's almost non-existant. As well, I am the first boy she has kissed in over 18 months and she has had bad experiences with guys in the past taking advantage of her.
I'm a guy who gets attached super easily. I try not to be needy or clingy but I tend to be like that. This girl says that she gets nervous around me and I'm not sure if it is because of her past or it's because of me. But I'm close with her friends/roommates who have said that she has called me her boyfriend behind my back.
She has also mentioned that she dumped a guy before when he became super concerned over where she was all the time. I'm not like that, but it has me worried there is something else that can make her freak out and dump me at a moments notice.
How can I have a relationship with an independent person who likes me even though I'm the type that likes being with them 24/7 and that is not possible in this scenario? Should I be worried about doing something wrong? Other general advice about dating independent girls? | independent girl likes me and I'm clingy and don't want to ruin the relationship. How do I not? |
t3_4sq235 | offmychest | Pokemon Go.. yeah more of this.. | Since the game has released I've noticed a trend on my social media, two types of people.
People like me, who love the game, are excited about rare finds and go outside and get in shape.
Then there's the other people, the "If you're an adult who plays Pokemon remove yourself from my list because you clearly have no goals in life."
I'm sorry but everyone I know that are playing this game are either college grads, in college, or work a career job. All of the people posting are working at Burger King or WalMart. Now I'm not saying those jobs aren't needed, but just because you work a full time job making whatever you make a year doesn't make you better than someone who also works a full time job and plays Pokemon Go in their off time.
Get off your high horses people. Just because you don't like something others do, doesn't mean they should stop, that also doesn't mean you need to like it. What it does mean is that you shouldn't try to publicly shame people of all ages away from enjoying something just because you don't like it. You don't see me giving you shit for playing CoD 10 hours a day after you get off work, or for going to clubs after work every day getting wasted and hooking up with strangers, just because I don't like doing that stuff or think it's "immature and meas you have no goals in life". If that's what you enjoy, then do you. We enjoy playing PoGo. | Let people enjoy what they enjoy, even if you don't like it. |
t3_1mnur9 | AskReddit | Broken Sceptre TV - warranty policy has been changed after purchase and service being denied - what can I do? | Hello Fellow Redditors!
I purchased Sceptre X408BV-FHD in March of this year. At the end of June red lines appeared around the upper corner and later in July the big black dot appeared. The TV at the time of purchase had a one year warranty (limited of course) and so I tried to contact Sceptre. I spent a week calling their tech support and customer service and never got an actual person. Finally after Newegg spoke to them I received an email where they requested images of the screen (see the imgur link) they have told me that based on the images the tv is cracked physically and they will not honor the warranty.
I should mention that since my report to them they have changed the warranty on this TV from a year limited to 30 day limited.
The TV has not been hit, has not fallen (the stand sucks) and no water has been near it. There is no physical damage. What can I do? | Sceptre sucks because they give you the run around. |
t3_3wyewl | relationships | I (31m) want to get back my fiancée (31f) who recently left me. We have a 5 year old daughter together. | Sunday my fiancée left me saying she is unhappy with our relationship and doesn't think it can be fixed. She says we have the same problems over and over again and they never get fixed. I haven't always been the best partner in terms of support but I want to change. I've told her that and how I feel about her but she thinks I'm only saying these things because she left. I have taken her for granted and fear it may be too late. Over the past few days I've tried talking to her and telling her how I feel about her and how I want to fix our relationship given the chance but it doesn't work. I've been devastated. I've been missing work because I feel like half of me is missing. I also worry about our daughter growing up without her mom and dad together. What can I do to fix this? | I'm trying to fix my relationship of 8 years since my fiancée left but nothing seems to work. I need some advice. |
t3_3pry9e | relationships | My [21F] husband [24M] will not share his passwords with me after numerous emotional affairs. | My husband has had emotional affairs with several women the past 7 years we've been together, but this last time was the first one that I know of since we've been married. Since he's broken my trust several times before with these emotional affairs, I want his passwords so there is transparency and I can start to trust him again.
I feel like I can't trust him as long as he has the ability to keep secrets. When I told him this and asked for his passwords (after I gave him all of mine) he refuses to give them to me. He says he's doesn't like the idea of snooping around in other people's stuff. Since he's not willing to give up his passwords I feel like he's hiding something from me. How do I proceed with this?
Side note: After a mental breakdown the other day with not being able to handle his emotional affair he told me he deleted the girl from Facebook (his communication source) but that doesn't mean he will stop talking to her and he's mad at me and says he's going to resent me for "making" him cut off ties with her. It's like he's mad at me for his emotional affair. What can I do about this?
For a little more backstory if you're interested, read my previous post. reddit.com/user/abrokenwife | My husband broke my trust by having an emotional affair and now refuses to share his passwords to help me regain trust. |
t3_o29cm | AskReddit | Do you think it's possible to be "soul mates" with a person you would never date? | Let me try to put that in better perspective... In Greek mythology there is this belief that humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads, but Zeus was so afraid of their power like that that he split them apart and now they have to wander the earth looking for their other half(quite literally).
Reason I'm asking this particular question: I have this great friend and we are just so close it's like we can read each others mind. We've been through a ton a crap with each other and here we stand. I recently read the above myth and all I could think about was this person. I would never want to be in a relationship with them, or have sex with them, or anything like that... But I feel as though I would be nothing without them. | Do you believe in "soul mates"? And if so, do you think you can be "soul mates" with someone you have no romantic feelings for? |
t3_2zfy81 | relationships | I [28F] with my found out my dad (56M) may not know who his real dad is.. | Tonight (after many beers) my older brother told me that my dad may not have the same dad as his siblings.
My grandmother is German and met my grandfather, an American soldier, during WWII. I obviously don't know a lot of the details, but I know they didn't come to America until my dad was ~13 (early 1970's).
My aunt (whom has now passed) had always passively said my dad wasn't her "real" brother. I never picked up on these things and, according to my brother, my dad emotionally dismisses the subject.
What I thought was my real grandfather passed away before I was born, so what I know as my grandad is really my step grandpa. According to my brother, my dad's (three) brothers always made fun of him for not being real family.
Should I ask my now 83 year old grandmother for the truth, unbeknownst to my dad? | My grandmother may have cheated and my dad may have a mystery father. |
t3_wahfi | AskReddit | What stupid ideas did your parents put into your head that caused problems for you later in life? Did you ever outgrow them? | When I was very little, my parents hammered the idea that any adult they did not introduce me to was a creepy stranger. I grew up afraid to talk to anybody, even when ordering food as a teen. I was even afraid to talk to teachers for a while.
But finally, at some point in middle school I finally started managing to talk to teachers. Did I learn so much after that! Being a curious smart kid, I was always asking teachers about extra details and even getting into interesting conversations with them about philosophy and other things that the oher students could care less about. I matured so much in that ear, going from a 'so random lololo' preteen to a respectable human just because I got into deep conversations instead of stupid and pointless chats with other 'randumb lololo' preteens. | My parents took stranger danger so far that I was an akward antisocial kid. Then I grew up. |
t3_2sj7dy | personalfinance | Could I dispute a judgement? | So last year while on a job assignment after traveling for a month there was a banking error on my part that allowed my rent to go unpaid for a month. Management sent me a notice that I did not receive then the following month running later on my payment triggered their collection process.
I received the eviction notice then a court summons asking me to rescind payments. I did not make those payments by the day required so on the courts agreed to make judgement against me. Not sure on the terminology but there were two dates. One was the date to be in court and one to complete payment for dismissal.
I did not attend meet on the day of court because I was out of state on business. However I made the full payments needed. Either by the date on court or the required date.
However; I recently found out there was a judgement against me. I contacted my apartment complex and today with more information found out the case was indeed "dismissed." This happened in February and I moved out in June/July.
This has cause a problem for me as I'm moving again. The application was denied because of this record and came to me as a surprise. They asked for proof the issue was resolved and the old complex is sending confirmation. I may be able to reapply.
I don't know much about judgements but if the case was dismissed I'm not sure if this a legitimate derogatory reporting.
Could I dispute this? Was there some follow up missed? How do I rectify this? | judgement showing up on my credit history was dismissed after full payments were made. Could I dispute this? How? |
t3_2eh4sa | tifu | TIFU by moaning my ex's name during oral with my new guy (nsfw) | This happened just a couple hours ago and I feel awful and super embarrassed.
So, my ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. I had lost my virginity to him and he was the only guy I had done anything sexual with (oral, fingering, etc). I started seeing a new guy just a couple weeks ago and today we did oral stuff for the first time. I was laying on the couch and he went down on me and it was amazing and I was getting really into it, moaning and talking and all that (I'm quite vocal during sex). At one point during my moaning, my ex's name slipped out...and their names are not similar at all.
It took me a second to realize what I'd said and I wasn't sure if he'd heard it but I immediately tried to cover it up by saying something along the lines of "oh fuck [*insert correct name here*] you're so good" and loudly so he would definitely hear that. He acted pretty normal after but he's not the type to confront awkward conversations so he may have heard it and is just keeping it to himself but it's eating me up inside! | moaned my ex's name during oral with my new guy; I'm not sure if he heard but I feel awful nonetheless. |
t3_djx6o | travel | Ever fallen for a scam while traveling? Or almost? | I am usually good about this sort of thing but today I was scammed for the first time (that I know of) while visiting the terra-cotta warriors in Xi'an, China.
I was renting an audio guide from the official booth (which is, i think, why I let my guard down for a minute since it is government run but I suppose there are dishonest people everywhere) and as I was forking over the money for the deposit plus rental fee they started with the distraction.
They handed me a map and put the guide on my head while speaking quickly pressing lots of buttons and showing me how to use it (as if it weren't obvious).
Of course, it wasn't until later that I realized this had been a distraction to make me forget I hadn't been handed my change or receipt.
In the end I was luckily able to get my deposit back (but you can be sure the workers will be exchanging the receipt they kept for the 200 yuan deposit at the end of the day as it's not traceable anymore) but am out the 60 yuan in change.
It could have been much worse i suppose and this will make a good story slash cautionary tale.
So I'm currious, Reddit, have you fallen for any scams while traveling? | Two clerks worked together to try to jip me out of a 200 yuan deposit plus 60 yuan in change for an audio guide. |
t3_2febt5 | relationships | I [32 M] started chatting with a girl [23 F] online, we met once, keep getting mixed signals | Hopefully, it wont get long. So, the girl I added on Facebook 2 months ago, that I never met before, messaged me a week ago, asking if I want to meet with her. We chatted a little and she seemed very open minded, funny, and from what I could see from her photos, she was very beautiful. But, on several occasions, she mentioned that she just like meeting new people and is not interested in anything romantic.
Anyway, she invited me for a drink to her place two days ago. Of course I went, and she was even more beautiful in person. I don't believe in love on the first sight, but I have to tell you, she really rocked my world when she opened the door. The evening went in a really smooth conversation, we have a lot of things in common, but nothing happened. I didn't want to push it because her saying that she's not interested in dating kept crossing my mind.
We continued with messaging and now she refers to me as her new friend; but on the other hand tells me that I'm cute. I don't know what to do. I would seriously love to get serious with her, because honestly, this doesn't happen very often to me, and she is exactly the type of person I want to be with. It's just that she has a lot of male friends and from what I can conclude, I'm in the same bucket with them. | Met a girl I like on facebook. Met once in person, all went well, but she considers me a friend. What to do? |
t3_f2doz | relationship_advice | Getting bored and annoyed with BF. Think I'm falling for someone else. How to reignite relationship or should I leave? | I'm 24. BF is 25. Living together. I love him, but lately I'm getting irritated by him. We barely have anything in common. He appears to have no real drive in life. He relishes in the status quo, whereas I am easily bored and seek new things.
Plus he has some dick moves: I don't think he does this intentionally, but he rarely makes any effort to help out with cooking/cleaning etc. I will make dinner- feed him; but after he finishes he will clean only his dishes and utensils and leave me to do the rest. No wonder my libido has been in the crapper.
We have fun going out for drinks and whatever, but we never have anything to say. Seems like he is silently judging me.
I want to fix things but not sure how to. To complicate things further, I think I am developing feelings for someone else who I have more in common with (think: same nerd factor). Should I jump ship, should I try to fix the most stubborn person in the world? | BF does not seem to appreciate anything I do for him. He bores me. There may be a new guy I would rather be with because we are on the same nerd wavelength. |
t3_2owcif | personalfinance | What is the actual formula for calculating my credit score?(Canada) | So the bank(CIBC) called me the other way to see if I wanted to sign up for another account. It was some bullshit savings account, and since I only have a chequing account they like to call and offer my stuff I don't need.
I'm going to admit I often get annoyed and I understand a shitty deal when I see it, so I usually mess with them a little and see how much info they have on me.
After being transferred around to 3 people and got some completely unrelated stuff fixed the way I wanted it, I was talking to last man and I casually asked him what my credit score was. He kindly remarked he couldn't tell me that information. I got a little defensive, why couldn't he tell me MY CREDIT SCORE? His told me I needed to pay to see my credit score and it was with a different organization. I got fed up and hung up shortly after.
I understand the language of math and was wondering if someone could just give me the formula so I can work it out myself. That if it exists, I understand computers do all of the calculations, but it still needed to have formula to reference! | Bank wouldn't tell me my credit score, got pissed, want to calculate it myself, tell me the formula. |
t3_4jr9ay | relationships | My (21M) mum (54F) "you're a worthless piece of shit just like your father" | This one really hurt.
Me and my brothers (14M)(17M) get this kind of verbal abuse and undermining comments most days. Consistently undermining us and unencouraging us. Me and my brothers all struggle with self worth especially my middle brother (17M).
My parents have been divorced for a long time. About 8 years. My dad is a very meek man, never any ambition with a dead end job who seems to have just given up on life. He's very very kind and will always listen to me though. Even if he's not grate on advice.
I would go and live with him however he lives too far away. And it would mean leaving my brothers.
I guess I'm just scared for my brothers, I don't know how to help them. I'll be fine, I'm hopefully going to move out in a few months for the military. But my brothers are both failing school, I try to help them with their studies the best I can but mum always shuns me away and tells me to stop trying to be the dad.
The arguments are getting more and more intense and are on the verge of a serious one. This usually happens every couple of months, where I end up living with a mate for a couple of weeks.
I've tried talking things through with mum countless times but she is just so irrational and angry all of the time.
She's a single mum with a shit job, can barely make ends meet. I get that she tries hard to keep a roof over our heads and she does a good job. For fleeting moments she is a very loving mum. But the rest of the time she is just so angry.
How do I help my brothers?? | me and my brothers are in a unmotivating and demeaning environment where we all just find it so hard to not get depressed. We're failing school and college because of mums continuous psychological bullying. How do I help my brothers? |
t3_3gq3b9 | tifu | TIFU by talking about my boss' "unit" in front of the whole office | I work for a municipality, and one of the higher ups asked me to help them rent a GPS unit from a vendor to help track trees for the township.
I've had a pretty busy week so far, and I haven't really gotten any work done on his favor, due to the contact at the vendor being on vacation.
I arrive at the main Town building this morning. This is the building where a majority of the employees work, where the public comes to get various services done etc.
I see my boss waiting to go into a council meeting. He's just standing at the doors, which are wide open...
I then proceed to speak speak, fairly loudly:
"Hey Danny! I know you've probably been wondering.. I haven't forgotten about your unit!"
At this point, everyone turns. All of the people in the hall way, employees, citizens, the fucking Mayor and many council members all have the same look on their face..
At least I'm done my summer work term next week.. | One of my bosses asked me for a favor. I pretty much ended up yelling about his penis near a lot of important people. |
t3_2tu5vp | relationships | Me [20F] with my [22M], close to breaking up, but not sure if I should | I've been with my bf for almost a year, come next February. We're pretty much perfect for each other, the way we think, the things we like, past experiences. I am very lucky to have met him.
When we first started, he was always gaming, and I found that annoying as that would mean less time for us. We got into pretty heated fights about it. Fast forward about 10 months, and he managed to convince me to play the game too, so we could play together. And we did, about three times. I kept asking again and again if he wanted to play together more, but he kept coming up with excuses.
I know how carried away some people get when gaming. Hell I do it too. But there could be days, almost a week, when we could go by without talking, or doing anything together, as he would be gaming. I'd send him a message, but he'd never reply. I've gotten tired of waiting, I now don't expect anything anymore from him. Even when we are playing at the same time, he'd have reasons not to play with me, then say how he's bored and doesn't have anything to do minutes later.
I love him with all my heart, and he says he does too. Says how lucky he is and how he doesn't deserve me and I'm the most perfect girl for him. As much as it's all sweet, I'm not convinced anymore. Anyone can rattle off a bunch of words, but actions speak otherwise.
We've discussed this issue many times, and I've gotten more lenient with him each time. The more I apologise for being annoyed with his gaming, the longer he disappears from me. I don't see any effort on his part to put a little more time for us.
So right now, I'm not sure if I should even pursue this any further. I'm kind of a go big or go home kinda person, so I either stay and work things out with him, or just stop this relationship. Just need some opinions from a different viewpoint. | Bf disappears for days gaming, not sure if relationship is worth saving |
t3_bec7v | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, How should we get back at the noisy guys who live above us? | We live in a college dorm with thin walls and ceilings, The guys above us practice their instruments (electric guitar and bass as well as a drum set) as loudly as possible. This happens literally at all hours, even during midterms. Negotiations have failed and the ceiling being thin is rather fragile so no broom banging is possible.
So we have decided to ask Reddit for help. At our disposal we have a trumpet, a saxophone, an accordion, several sub-woofers (although this would destroy relations with those who live below us), and last but not least 6 engineering students. Also Home Depot, and Wal-mart are close by. So let me hear it nothing is too mean or extravagant. | Guys upstairs are noisy help us get back at them. |
t3_2ytll2 | personalfinance | Americasbest401k, Lincoln Trust, looking for advise please. | Our company has decided to move forward and change our 401k plan from Nationwide to Americasbest401k. Someone in our company read the book "Money:Master the Game" from Tony Robbins and apparently he recommended the company, which he also is a partner of (
Needless to say this is a red flag for me. Their broker is Linoln Trust in Colorado, and after some searching on the internet I stumbled across some very bad Yelp reviews, another red flag.
My arguments above weren't taken into consideration, that's why I would like to see if someone has any experience with the companies, both positive, and negative.
My questions are:
- Does someone have any experience with Americasbest401k or Lincoln Trust, if so please share any information you might have.
- Is it possible to rollover a 401k into a traditional 401k when the employer changes plan providers.
- What are the most reputable/reliable 401k providers out there, Vanguard seems to be a good option.
Links: | Employer plans to change plan, new provider seems fishy. Also is 401k rollover possible when changing plan providers. |
t3_33yf24 | tifu | TIFU by yelling | Ok, so this fu happened yesterday not today. I just didn't have time until now. One more thing before I go on, is that this fuck up isn't really hilarious or cringing, but it made my parents think less of me.
So I (15 year old male) was playing MLB 2k13 (Please don't judge us. I don't own a ps3 or ps4 for mlb 15 the show) with my brother (14). It was just a casual game, and I was at bat with nobody out and a runner on third. I thought maybe if I hit a deep pop fly, I could score. So I did my best and succesfully hit a pop fly to the outfield, and was ready to jet home. But nope, it wouldn't let me. As soon as the catch was made, the play ended. I know they only had 2 months to develop that game, but couldn't you just use the same exact code from the previous year and just swapped textures and models, and sounds and shit like that? But of all things to happen, the play had to just end right then and there, without having given me enough time to even take off for home. So out of all anger I yell, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" And a second later I heard yelling directed toward me. Then my mom bolted in and told us to turn off the game and clean our room. After telling us what we needed to do, then she yells at me for swearing, then my dad comes in to yell at me again for the same bullshit like I didn't hear it the first time. Isn't once enough? Well, I've always tried to watch my language around them but this time, I failed. | Was playing mlb 2k with my brother, wouldn't let me run home on a sacrafice fly and yelled what the fuck and my parents heard. |
t3_2qy73c | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | I posted [this] before, basically my friend and I got in fights every time we tried to make plans together and I didn't know how to change that.
My friend text today inviting me out for New Year's, after we planned it together Monday, then we got in another fight yesterday and she said I couldn't come. I replied saying thanks but no thanks, as I couldn't deal with her keeping changing her mind. She phoned after that and lectured me about how I was rude and selfish, she'd talked to her other friends about me and they all agreed that there was something wrong with me, I didn't know how to treat people and I'd always be alone.
I'd rather be alone than deal with somebody like that. You were right, Reddit, I'm done. | Another fight, it's not gonna work out. |
t3_3bfbk4 | relationships | I hate my Fiancee's parents (my future in-laws) how problematic is that? | I am M24 and have been dating my F 24 fiancee for 4 years and been engaged for a year.
I truly find her parents to be awful human beings (she was raised by narcissists who are emotionally abusive, controlling, vindictive, liars and overall poor human beings.
When my fiancee and her parents are in a bad fight, prob once a month, she agrees with me and admits they are "shitty parents" however, when the shitstorm clear she reverts back to exscusing their actions, claims she thinks they are good, and "desires to remain very close to them" even though they constantly meddle with our relationship.
Some people say u marry the family, other people disagree. Basically
1. Should it be a deal breaker/how problematic is it that i hate her parents?
2. Should it be a deal-breaker than her parents are awful human beings?
Any other advice? | Should i reconsider marrying my fiancee because of her awful parents who meddle with our lives? |
t3_4e2o6r | personalfinance | Is there any way to put 100k into an account for retirement without taking it out of income? | I'm just about to graduate college and I am taking a personal finance class. I see the advantage of saving for retirement early but do not yet understand a lot of the intricacies of retirement accounts. I am very fortunate to have 100k in a brokerage account from my grandparents that I will receive chunks of at age 30 and 40. I was wondering if there is any type of account that I could place it in now, and just plan to have it build with interest until retirement instead of taking it out earlier. I understand that it would help me fund a Roth IRA or similar account but I am going into graduate school and won't be able to start one for several years, plus the years it would take to fully fund.
Also forgive me if I use any financial terms completely wrong or if this question is stupid, I am still learning. | I have 100k that I want to get high interest on but I don't want to wait to fund a Roth IRA or 401k. |
t3_1vwhtw | relationships | Me [27 M] with my Ex [23 F] of 6 years, after 8 months of break up she wants to get back together. | We had different points of view on our last 6 months of our relationship and basically it was most of the time discussions. When we broke up she decided to have some time for herself and so do I. We went separate ways and I realized after 1 month that I wanted to be back with her, so I called her and she basically said no, that she needed more time and so on. I kept calling her for the next few months for the same reason then I realized she was dating someone else. They were officially a couple in October and I know because she told me. We met in early December and had a private meeting but didn't take the time to talk about us, we just smoke weed and had sex. After that we didn't talk until I realized she didn't send me a NYE or Christmas SMS or whatever so I sent her one early January to wish her all the best with her life and all that crap. We had a few calls on the weekend most of us drunk and then I drop the bomb that I had a girlfriend. The next weekend she told me she broke up with her boyfriend (last Saturdy). Today, she called me to meet. We met and she basically told me "I want to try it again". Funny thing is she broke up 1 week ago. I don't know what to think. I analyzed with her for 4 hours what could happened if we got back together, the pro, cons, etc.. After we said good bye she hugged me and said "I'm sorry for taking too long to realize".
Any opinions? | Ex girlfriend of 6 years want to get back together after 8 months of being apart. In the meantime, she had a boyfriend for 4 months. |
t3_21n0pf | relationships | I [18F] want to know how serious my relationship is with the guy I'm dating [25M], but don't know how to approach it | I met a guy (here named Joe) on OKCupid, and it was very casual. Neither of us were looking for any sort of commitment, honestly just a hookup for whenever we needed it. After a month or so, I wanted to know how things stood and he admitted developing feelings for me.
We started going on some nice dates, and he's a really great guy. The problem is that since we both started out saying that this was only casual, neither of us wants to be the one to break down and admit some sort of vulnerability. It's been three months now, and we had a talk in which he confirmed that we were in fact dating, but about a week later, not in connection to the past clause, he told me how he believed dating and boyfriend/girlfriend status to be very different, and that made me feel insecure in my position in his life.
Now, there is a large age gap (which I personally enjoy. he's much more level headed and has a bunch more shit figured out), and I dont want to be thought of as "weak" or "emotional" in the relationship, so I'm uncomfortable asking him what the deal is. I realize that even having that hesitation is a sign that it might not be the healthiest relationship, but if I can get over it, I really do like Joe, and I do want to make it work.
My question is: how can I work the question of "Where are we in our relationship?" into a conversation smoothly and without appearing desperate or anything else negative? | I want to find out how i fit into his life, but i'm a bit too intimidated to ask |
t3_1h1nxx | relationships | Me(20f) is pregnant from (28m) fwb and I don't know what to do | Me (20f) is pregnant from (28m) fwb i've known off and on for a year and i dont know what to do
All right sorry if this is jumbled but I'm freaked as hell and crying as I write this. All right I have a fwb he's 28 and I just took a pregnancy test that said yes :'( . I don't know what to do this messes up my very near future and once my mom and step dad find out I don't know what they will do. Yes me and him wore condoms but those aren't 100% and I'm not on any birth control. I'm freaking out and don't know what to do. I need help please. I'm scared more then I can explain for this and just would like some help I don't need to be criticised for this my dad already did that. | I'm pregnate and don't know what to do and I'm super scared about it |
t3_35k9fp | relationships | Me [24/m] put my girlfriend(24/f) of six months on to much of a pedestal | My current girlfriend and I have been dating for six months and I have tendency to put on a pedestal and often find my self waiting hand and foot for her. I know she doesnt enjoy it and it is a rather unhealthy habit for me to be in also and I was wondering how to work though it?
We just finished talking about it and it is something I know I need to change. Need to get my own independent life separate from our couple identity. I often feel it may come out of a place of low self worth. Anyone have similar experiences and advice? | how do I bring my girlfriend down from the pedestal I've placed her on? |
t3_3bsfwz | tifu | TIFU by not putting away my suitcase and being a nerd | Sunday I returned from a visit to my Aunt so I was too tired the day I arrived to put my stuff away. These last days I've been cleaning my room and rearranging my stuff, so my clothes were still in the suitcase until today when I emptied it.
Now my cat really loves this suitcase. And when I mean love I mean she sits in it or on it as soon as someone takes it out. So naturally, after I put my stuff away, my cat claims territory on top of it. I tried to move her off but to no use-- she either bit me or made those big eyes I can't resist. So I decided to let her sleep there for a few hours.
Mum comes home, sees my cat sleeping on the suitcase and coos at her. She goes to her daily tasks. Sweet. Three hours later the sun has set and I can clearly see Venus and Jupiter being very close to eachother on the sky. A quick google search told me this only happens tonight so I got excited! I go tell my mum (The constant attention seeker that I am. It's actually sad) and tell her the news. She seems just as excited and says she'll bring her photo camera.
I am waiting in my room, lights off to see the planets better. Mum barely comes in that she stumbles upon my suitcase, which was in the middle of the room, falls with a loud thud to the floor and drops the very expensive camera.
Needless to say, we're not talking for the next days. | Didn't put away my suitcase, was a nerd and the cause of my mum's hatred for life. |
t3_2m741r | relationships | [Update] Me [25F] with my boyfriend [28M] of 4 years, has recently become totally obsessed with anal sex | Original post:
That evening I asked him if we could talk about something. I basically told him everything I wrote down here - how I was fed up with his anal obsession. To start with he was like *I thought you enjoyed it* and *I didn't seem to dislike it before*. I replied with telling him I used to enjoy it occasionally and I was trying to give him what he wanted but it has got too much. I also said if he wants to know what it's like to get your ass fucked repeatedly I will buy a strap on and fuck him. That shut him up.
Additionally, I said that I thought his porn habits are impacting on his behavior – that I think he is distorting reality and porn sex. Initially he was pissed that I had looked at his search history, which is fair, I probably shouldn't have. However, after he had some time to cool off he came back and said he was sorry and he knows he has a problem with porn but he doesn't know what to do.
We talked a lot more about it that night and we really opened up to each other. He said he would try and cut down on the porn he watches and I really hope he goes through with it. We agreed to not rush into having sex again and take things slow to try and make things more "special" again. Since then we have not had penetrative sex and he has not pushed for anything. We have fooled around a bit with oral etc and it was actually pretty great and I enjoyed it a lot more than a lot of the sex we have had recently.
So I hope things will be ok, I don't think the situation is over but if we both keep trying to make it work I think we will be fine. I told him I didn't want to break up with him over it and I think that made him realize how much it was bothering me. I just hope he can cut down on the porn. | We talked a lot about things and think we can try work things out. He has agreed to cut down on watching porn. |
t3_2iw9gk | relationships | Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 1 year. She wants to go through my phone, but I want my privacy | Pretty simple situation - my girlfriend sometimes wants to look at my phone. She'll start flipping through my texts/pictures/whatever and I'm not ok with it. This is right in front of me, so it's not like she's being sneaky/shady about it. But I express that I'm not ok with it, and sometimes I'll have to physically remove the phone from her hands.
She lets me go on her phone and expects me to do the same for her. I know the password to it (she doesn't know mine) because she has asked me to use it for her for whatever reasons. I am EXTREMELY respectful of her privacy. Not once have I looked through her pictures, looked at her text messages, or done anything other than intended. Never even been tempted - because I respect her privacy. I don't think this is something where I need to change my own standards/principles to meet hers.
For someone who I otherwise have almost no privacy from, my phone is one of the few things I have left. I doubt I have anything compromising on there, but honestly, i don't know what might be. I'm in a group chat with a bunch of my close friends and pictures/messages are exchanged on there that probably would raise some questions. Nothing about her, nothing about other girls, just weird, guy, stuff. But I don't think this matters. I don't think I should have to explain myself nor should I feel obligated to give her access to my phone just like that. I think I am entitled to this amount of privacy, but she thinks it means I can't be trusted. Am I wrong? How do I handle this situation? | Girlfriend thinks she should have unrestricted access to my phone and its contents. Am I wrong for believing I deserve my privacy? How can I get my perspective across without losing her trust? |
t3_1kfwnj | loseit | NSV? : I can't afford new clothes! | Hi, I posted here a few weeks ago I think highlighting my progress so I think I'll mostly just copy paste that so that people can get some background.
I started April 1st with a brand new outlook on what I was going to eat and what I was going to do about how overweight I was/am. I started going to a gym at first and after about 2 weeks decided that I needed to do something about my diet as well and at that point started keto again. I'm down right about 70 lbs right now and still going strong. I have my cheat day once a month and I'm perfectly happy with that and it hasn't slowed my loss at all. If anything, I'm convinced that cheat day is what helps me break plateaus.
All that said, I was actually considering having a sandwich the other day because my clothes are absolutely falling off me at work! I had to cut a ton of holes in my belt this last month and it's a blessing in disguise, I guess. I love losing weight but I didn't have a steady job from Feb-Jun and we are still catching up from that. | I didn't plan on having to set aside a budget for buying new pants/shirts :) |
t3_1shszk | relationships | Me (20 M) trying to deal with an understand her(17 F) saying she needs a break after finally meeting in LDR relationship | First off, I know we are young, but please try to look past that?
We met in May 2012 online, and started talking every day. We became a couple in July 2012.
I fell for her hard and I know she loved me back. The only problem was I lived in Canada and she lived in Hawaii.
Well after years of talking about it and planning we decided I would come visit over Thanksgiving for a short visit to make sure we were a good couple, and then come back in May to stay longer if it all worked out.
So I left to go see her and we had an amazing trip. We are a perfect couple, it felt so natural and it was amazing to have her, and be loved and love her. Not to mention we lost our virginities to each other.
But I had to leave, and leaving was very hard. That was exactly a week ago. She took it even harder and said she couldn't even talk to me without crying.
She says she knows its not fair but she hates me for leaving, and shes not sure whats worse, not knowing what it was like to be with someone or knowing and having it ripped away.
She said she loves me less now, and its too hard and she needs a break. We've fought before but we've never gone days without talking which is what we are doing now.
To top it all off she met a guy online while I was on my flight to Hawaii and I know shes been talking to him a lot, and I'm scared she's just going to replace me with a new guy.
What do I do? Is the relationship as good as over or is she just dealing with a lot of things emotional and we can still be together? | Dated 18 months online, finally met in person, was amazing, had to leave, now she doesn't want to talk to me |
t3_y2nbp | AskReddit | Reddit, Whats in your bag? | A couple years back, I was browsing lifehacker, and came upon a series of threads titled "Whats in your bag?" With picture upon picture, of everyones bags, it fascinated me endlessly. I found lots of cool organizers, trinkets, ect. It helped me develop my daily bag. I figure with school starting back up, and all you urban explorers, ect. it would be a great idea for everyone to share their bags so we can all get an idea of what everyone carries around, get new ideas for our own bags!
I did searching before putting this thread up, and every thread past was just people listing off their contents and it was a rather boring read. So the rule for this is, POST A PIC. NOT ONLY A DESCRIPTION. A description would be nice after the pic.
Anyways. On to my bag!
Ive had this bag for a couple years now, Trekked through multiple states, a dozen airports, and its never let me down, always comfortable, has a built in rain jacket to keep my gadgets from getting wet, even running through rush hour in NYC during the pouring rain! Its the [dA PRO Digital Artist Backpack] from Deviantart, its a reband of another popular bag, but I liked the looks of this one instead.
Heres what I usually have in my bag.
MacBook Pro 13inch, Mid 2012 model. (new addition)
Cleaning cloth
Power adapter
Razer Orochi bluetoth mouse
Razer Kabuto mousepad
Grid-It organizer for all the lose ends in my bag.
Samsung Captivate with 4.1 rom, best phone ive ever owned.
Moleskine planner and sketch pad.
Current reading material
Customary knife in almost everyones bag :P
iFrogz headphones from walmart, cheap pair that i can just throw in my bag.
1tb external 3.0 usb harddrive
I also have various other folders and notebooks, and school books, but you dont really care about those :P | Post pictures of your bag and whats inside. Dont just detail a list, thats no fun. Everyone likes pictures! |
t3_biw8b | AskReddit | Dear academic Redditors; I messed up my first swing at college, and want to give it another go. I have a couple questions and a request for advice. | The back story: I graduated high school in 2005. I was always really into science and mathematics in high school, and was urged by my parents and counselors to pursue an engineering degree. I took their advice, and that fall I started classes at a small, nearby, well-respected engineering school. From the first week, I should have realized that the school I picked and the major I picked were completely wrong for me; I hated the campus, couldn't stand the courses, and had a very hard time getting to know anyone on campus. I started drinking a lot, and spent the vast majority of my time in my dorm room, skipping class and watching movies. I failed the majority of my classes my freshman year, but rather than taking a step back and changing schools, or majors, or taking some time off, I kept this up for another four semesters. I passed barely enough of my classes to avoid getting kicked out. I finally decided to just stop going after the Spring 2008 semester, and haven't gone back since. In the meantime, I've landed a job working retail, and I've kind of decided I don't want to do that for the rest of my life.
That being said, I've decided I want to go back to school. I want to major in something science-related; either biology or chemistry. My questions are these: Is it realistic to think I can go back and finish a degree? If so, how bad did I mess up my chances of getting into grad school afterwards, if I decide to do that? Am I less likely to find a job graduating at 27 instead of 22? If I start back at a community college, would it bode poorly for future job opportunities? How do I avoid getting into the same rut the way I did the first time? And my biggest concern; is it worth trying higher education again? Or should I come to terms with the fact that I'm a college dropout and try to figure something else out?
Sorry for the wall-o'-text. | I screwed up college the first time I tried, it's been two years, and I want to go back and get a science degree. Advice? |
t3_19egvq | Advice | Apartment broken into. Valuables taken. What to do next? | Our apartment was 'broken into' yesterday while we were at work. Valuables amounting to thousands of dollars were taken - mostly cash in different currencies and the engagement ring that my boyfriend was going to give me.
We've called the police and cancelled credit cards that were left in the house. Because of lack of point of entry (we're basically snowed in, no broken windows and lack), police think it's an inside job. Our apartment did not look tampered with at all. The ring was in a box, which was in a bag, which was in a box, which was in a fedex envelope and only the ring is missing. We had to open up all the layers to find the ring missing. The police took the boxes, bags and envelopes to get fingerprints. The thief obviously spent a lot of time going through our stuff because things were placed back to where they approximately were, but not exactly. In fact, I only realized that things were not right because my makeup brushes were in the wrong order, and my boyfriend swears he did not touch anything. We then search for all our cash (hidden in various parts of the house) and they were all gone.
Meanwhile, we don't have renter's insurance and the ring was uninsured too (it's only been with us for less than two days.) What should we do next?
I feel violated and unsafe in my house, but feel the need to stay here in case they decide to return. | The title. Police report made. Credit cards cancelled. Locks changed. Going to get renter's insurance. What next? |
t3_4z9jwz | legaladvice | A friend stored items in a shed on my property in April, agreed to collect things by May 1st...it's August. | I'm in Tennessee.
A friend I made at work at the end of last year had to move out of her apartment quickly after a relationship turned bad with one of her roommates. I let her put some furniture and belongings in a shed at my house since the person that was supposed to be storing her stuff backed out on the day that we helped her move.
I talked to her during the move, and we agreed that she'd have her stuff out by May 1st. She even said "Yea of course, if it was any longer I'd look in to getting a storage shed."
I tried contacting her at the end of April by text/phone, and she didn't answer. I even saw on facebook she had gone on vacation out of the country. I didn't know she was on vacation since she's a contract employee, and they have very different seasons and schedules. I'd go weeks without seeing her, or she'd be at a different location.
I then sent her a message on facebook in July since I thought her phone might not be working in a different country. No response. Then got her email from one of the other contract workers. Again no response. I also recently saw on facebook again that she's in an entirely different part of country.
I'm wondering what I should/can do about the items she left in my shed?
Also, yes I realize I might have been too gullible. If that's the case then I'm taking this as a lesson learned that I can't say yes to everything, especially when it seems like someone might be taking advantage. I still need to get rid of her stuff though! | I let a relatively new friend store stuff at my place, and she was supposed to come get it on May 1st. Now I can't contact her to come get it, or she's just not responding. |
t3_2wt6xg | relationships | On changing my [20F] last name to his [22M]. Did you regret your decision to take his name, or to keep your own? | My boyfriend and I are both in our final year of undergrad, and have been together for 6 years (long distance during the school year for 3 years). We plan to be married sometime in the next two years, depending on the schedule and location of his graduate program.
He has always expected that I will take his last name, and he will not compromise on changing (e.g. hyphenating) his own or his children's last names. I don't particularly like my own last name, so no sentimental problems there. My ideal would be for us both to change our last name to something new, but he's not on board. (He compromises all the time on many other issues, but he's picked this battle as one worth fighting.)
I have no problem with our children carrying his name.
I myself don't want to take his last name, but my reasons are fairly petty. He's told me it's not a deal breaker if I don't take his name, but it would make him really sad. I'm planning to take his name to make him happy, but wondering if anyone has insight from their own experience? Did you regret taking or keeping a name?
My (admittedly weak) reasons for not taking his name are:
* I will have at least four scientific publications under my current name by the time we are married.
* I dislike his father, and it bothers me a bit to take his father's name.
* His mother and sister and I all have the same first name. If I take his last name, we will all have identical names. Again, I'm just not a big fan of his family, and it irks me that we will have identical names.
* My name will be alliterative. | Boyfriend would be much happier if I take his name, but I'm not so sure I'd be happy. Did you regret your decision to take a partner's name? |
t3_tpoyy | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your first memory? | Mine was when I was about 3 or 4 years old. We lived on an air force base at the time and my mom and I were driving out to a movie theater that seemed to be in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere (I only remember desert) to go see Hercules. When we came to the part of the movie where Hades gets angry I NOPE'D the fuck out of the theater bawling my eyes out because he was terrifying. After a few minutes of my mom attempting to calm me down and silenced my snot-choked screams I ate some whoppers and told my mom that I was ready to go back inside. Open the door- Hades' angry fucking face is taking up the whole damn screen. NOPE. Left that one. I remember feeling bad about leaving too. | Hades' angry fucking face has burned itself into my memory. |
t3_2cxrkt | AskDocs | Ear problems in high buildings! Wondering if it will stop?? HELP :( | I'm going to cross post this because it's very distressing!
My ears have always popped on elevators and planes, I have to yawn to unpop them.
My dad has Ménière's disease, however he gets drop attacks and has severe hearing loss, which I don't have.
Since early adulthood I've had some issues: easy dizziness, an ear infection that lasted a month or so, some "minor damage to outer eardrum" after a long plane flight.
I've taken hearing tests and seen doctors. My hearing is fine, and the last time I saw a doctor after the plane problem (which caused pain and periodic dizziness for a week or so), she said it would heal on its own and it did.
But, BIG PROBLEM!! A few years ago I was working in an office on the 50th floor of a building. I started getting earaches, popping and sort of itchy feelings in my ears. It is often a series of mild pops or a feeling of something dripping. Very mild dizziness, the pain and drip-popping is the biggest problem.
I went to a doctor and she said "oh, you must work in a high building because we see these problems in some people. There is a problem in your ear fluid and you can take ear drops for it." It sucked. I ended up quitting the job after about 2 months so I don't know how it would have panned out.
SO, I just started a NEW job in a building on the 20th floor, and today after a week of work IT CAME BACK! The pain, popping and burning sensation. I really like this job and don't plan to quit after a month! On top of that, I am starting to seriously date someone who lives on the 25th floor of a building.
My question is, will my ears adjust to this and is the popping and burning only temporary??? Does this happen to people often? In elevators I am always the only person yawning or making faces to pop my ears. I live in a big city and I would have to seriously restrict my lifestyle if this doesn't go away on its own. | my ears hurt in high buildings, yet my life revolves around high buildings. will it stop?? |
t3_vdf1o | AskReddit | I hate art teachers. What occupations do you hate? | I never had a good art teacher in school. From kindergarten to 5th grade all my art teacher did was yell that are drawing were bad and that we should feel bad, She made many little ones cry.
Then I get a new art teacher for 6-8th grade who yelled at people if they didn't make their project like she imagined it should look like. I made a dragon puppet and she told me to put ears,nose and hair on it and I don't mean awesome dragon noses or hair, she wanted human features on it and told her I think it looks stupid like that. She told me "it doesn't matter what you think". I got the worlds gayest dragon :(
I didn't take art in highschool but the art teachers were giant dicks if you asked for a piece of drawing paper or something for a project. | Middle school art teacher gave me an alaskan fire dragon. Getting life back on track after years of depression. |
t3_2ug4ln | relationships | My mom [52/F] keeps insisting that I [26/F] shouldn't seek medical help/advice for my thyroid issues...She is telling me to not listen to my doctor, I don't understand why?? | So recently, a few months ago, during a routine check up, my doctor noticed a 'bump' in my neck. After doing some tests/ultra sounds on my neck, we found out that it is a 5cm in diameter 'mass' in my right thyroid. It's like a golfball size mass in my neck. Of course, I'm worried and stressed. I had done some lab work a few months back, and during a recent visit to my doctor last week, turns out the hospital somehow lost all my lab work, so next week I have to go do all the lab work again. After that, I have to get a fine needle biopsy done on my thyroid to find out whether the 'mass' is cancerous or not.
My mom has always been a bit on the strange side. She's very much into 'alternative' medicine. She is telling me that this is not even serious, that it can be healed thru alternative, holistic medicine. I would believe, except that I have tried holistic methods, and I don't think they're working, because the mass is still there!? She's going as far as to tell me that I'm wasting my time, going to the hospital to get all these tests done, and to not listen to my doctors / endocrinologists advice.
I don't know where I should listen to here, or what...I've always followed my mom's advice, she has alot of influence in our family, but I'm also very conflicted and stressed because I don't think her 'natural/holistic' methods are curing me...? | I have a mass in my thyroid, 5cm in diameter. Doctors are saying I could need surgery, and still need to get tests done to find out if it's cancerous or not. Mom is saying to not listen to docs advice and to go the 'natural/holistic cures' route. She's stressing me out. |
t3_1zfksf | dating_advice | Why am I (33m) being such a teenage girl? | I met this absolutely wonderful girl a 2 months back on a skiing trip with some friends. We immideately hit it off, but nothing physical happened. A few weeks go by, and her friend contacts me, gets me into trying snapchat (i know right? Im bloody 33), and soon thereafter this girl adds me. We go back a forth with this for a few weeks, with the snaps getting more and more flirty.
a week ago, I send her a snap of me while im doing a cross country excercise trip. She proceeds to ask me out to ski with her the next day. So we go, and basically only ski for an hour, spending the next 2 in a lodge, in front of the fire, drinking coffee and chatting. She really opens up, as do I, to an extent I've almost never done before.
For the next few days, we text quite a lot, and everything is going swimmingly. She invites me home a normal tuesday, but its only a few hours since she's going out to practice (she plays football a lot).
The last few days however, she is taking several hours to answer my texts. She is still very attentive, and responds with the full 160 characters everytime, texts riddled with winky faces, asking me questions, so its not like she's trying to get rid of me, or at least so it seems, but I'm finding myself overanalyzing every little thing. Why isnt she responding. Is it work? Is she not bothering? etc etc
Am I right to be a bit worried? I know she is working quite a lot this week, but I thought girls were permanently attached to their mobiles these days.
Will you girls stop initiating contact if you're interested? Im pretty sure this girl hasnt had a relationship in a while, and might be a bit insecure. | Great chemistry with this girl, but all of a sudden she delays a lot in responding to messages. Like several hours. |
t3_cb6zn | AskReddit | Am I the only one that thinks 'strategically defaulting' on your mortgage is a load of horseshit? | So, more and more I am hearing about people 'strategically defaulting' on their home mortgages.
The way I see it (and correct me if I am wrong on this) is that homeowners are fed up with the way banks and the federal government have handled the recent financial meltdown on Wall St. They are sick of owing $800,000 on a house that is only worth $300,000.
What is think, is tough fucking cookies. That is the price you agreed to when you bought the home, you signed a contract. You wouldn't expect the bank to raise your mortgage when the value of your home goes up, why should they lower your payment when value is lost?
Look, I understand that there are special circumstances. People are losing their jobs and they need to refinance. OK fine. I think the banks should work with these people WITHIN REASON, afterall, keeping people in their homes benefits the bank more than foreclosure, where the home will sit on the market for at least year before any one purchases the foreclosed home and any payments are made. At the same time, I think homeowners expecting the bank to knock off 60% of the purchase price that they buyer agreed to is ridiculous.
So, serious question for you reddit. What am I missing here?
And don't give me the old "Well, the banks created this mess, not us." Homeowners were driving the prices up by agreeing to purchase homes at the inflated prices. Guess what, thats economics 101. If something isn't worth $800,000, don't pay $800,000 for it. Eventually the market will collapse on itself and prices will drop. | My neighbors dog shit in my yard, and then my kid stepped in it with bare feet. She now has a weird looking growth on that foot. Doctor doesn't know what it is. What should I do????? |
t3_1eqqsh | dating_advice | 23M needs some beginner's help. | So some background (throwaway here), like my username suggests, I have no relationship experience. I've had my fair shares of rejections, so that kind of stopped me from asking just any girls I found to my liking to hangout, date, etc.
So let's go to my current situation. I knew this girl from one of my classes during the spring semester. She sat next to me and basically that was it, no talking, nothing. However, we both began to open up quite late during the semester and I got her number by finals week, hoping to study with her and maybe hangout with her. I later find out our schedules didn't match, and nothing really happened.
I chose to kept in contact during the summer (currently) by asking how she did in the class and it kinda snowballed into a series of questions asked by me which she would reply. However, her replies would tend to be during nighttime (around 9-10) a good few hours after my initial text. The good thing if I kept texting, she would keep replying until she fell asleep (around 12 I think) and respond back in the morning. The process would start over. This happened for a few days now and this is where my question comes in.
I want to ask her to hang out, maybe even a date, but I'm unsure if I want to do it over a text. She lives roughly 1.5 hours away from me if that's any help. I'll respond to any other questions you might have for me in the thread. Thanks. | No experience, got to know a girl through texting, trying to find a way to ask her on a date/hangout. Help? |
t3_47v73r | relationships | Me [26 M] with my wife [25 F] of 4 years, obsessed with weird korean dramas | I don't know what happened but she became crazy, around a year ago her friend introduced her to korean dramas, ever since she became obsessed with them, like really really bad obsession it's craziness.
I can't take it anymore. So I come back from work and she is sitting in her pajamas watching that korean thing while eating chips I said "wtf why are you not in work", and she said she overslept and you kno why she overslept? Because she watched korean drama until 4 AM!!!
She used to always go to her work and now she always at home watching dramas, skipping work, not doing anything at home at all. I come back from work and I have to clean dishes, house and do something to eat while she is enjoying herself. I'm tired of this, should I consider divorce? It's been 1 year that she's acting like this.
Yesterday I wanted to tell her how wrong her act is and she said "CAN YOU SHUT UP SERIOUSLY I'M WATCHING". | very tired of lazy wife who is watching korean dramas entire day and skipping work |
t3_1231gh | AskReddit | Years ago before I knew about sharing pictures on the internet I saw something really gross and semi-scarring. What's the grossest or weirdest thing that has happened to you that you have no proof for? | I was probably around 6 or 7 and grocery shopping with my mom. We're walking as I'm pushing the shopping cart without her holding it (success kid) and we get by an aisle with candy. I stop because I spotted the delicious Wonder Ball. It's the big chocolate ball with candy inside. I've tried it once in school from a friend and loved it, so I asked my mom for it. She said no and just walked away. Instead of throwing a big in store tantrum (because my mother would have slapped the shit out of me) I take a wonder ball and hide it under some vegetables. There were so many things at checkout (my mother had four kids at the time plus my grandmother) that she didn't even notice it.
When we came out I rushed for the bag that the cashier put my Wonder Ball in and hid in my room. I savagely unwrapped the chocolate and cracked it open to eat the candy first and...
There was a nest of mother fucking roaches inside of there. Big ones, small ones, ones that looked like they had wings, even a white one. The last one may not have been a roach but still. They were all over my hands and legs. I screamed and ran out of the room trying to shake them off and caught the attention of my mother who put me in the shower still clothed to get them off.
Took a lot of spray and traps to get those roaches and I still shudder whenever I see one anywhere. | Attacked by a wonder ball of roaches. Similar stories? |
t3_2ujq9t | tifu | TIFU by forgetting about dropbox... | ...i think. Today, on my way to school i saw a really nice arse so took pics of it (cus im creepy like that) slyly. The pictures automatically load up to my dropbox so i delete the ones on my phone just in case (i use a htc). When i got home, after school, i was messing around showing my mother a picture i took of her (not her arse) some time ago, then she tells me that she already knows about it because i logged on to my dropbox on her phone once and never logged off. Natural i took the phone and logged off but she never said anything about the arse pics. Does she know? Hope not. But why tell me about the dropbox now??? | Android may have sent arse pics to my mother under my name. |
t3_1g0m04 | offmychest | Live For Today, Because It Can Get Better | People always tell you to live for now. I didn't really understand what that was all about until someone put it the following way. Spending too much time in the past and it turns into depression. Too much time in the future turns into anxiety. So when it all gets to be too much just take a deep breath and look up at the sky and know that the world is still spinning, and you can smile just enjoying that you exist at all.
I have gone through so much in the past few years. I graduated college. I had a great job waiting for me. I have less than a grand left in student loans. I am finally moving out of my parents house. I may not have close friends or a girlfriend, but I have a family who loves me. And I know that my limits are only what I say they are.
I used to be bullied. I used to hate my life. Some days the only "person" who I felt loved me was my dog. I just want to say that I remember how much it all used to hurt. I want to say how much I appreciate how amazing my life is now. So I guess the take away here is, just be a good person and help others. Because eventually you will become more than you ever thought you could. I know if I could go back in time and talk to myself when I was being bullied I wouldn't even be able to comprehend who I would become. | If you are good you will get good back. Karma. |
t3_54ilzz | weddingplanning | Fiancé is insisting on a Game of Thrones themed wedding and I want something more traditional. Fighting is erupting. | My fiancé of three months is being a nightmare about wedding planning. We're east coast based.
He's a huge Game of Thrones fan...which is fine. I like the show but I'm not obsessed. He's done the following things:
*showed me pictures of Ciara's wedding dress and said I should
wear the same thing because of how it looks like something that would be in a modern game of thrones wedding.
* wants to call our reception a "feast"
* wants me to wear my hair similarly to the main villainess on the wedding day
*wants a cloaking ceremony during our wedding ceremony
*wants us to rent a mansion that looks like a castle that we can't afford for the day of.
I want a traditional ceremony and reception. The looks he's showing me are not what I want to wear or look like on my wedding day. When I tell him that he sulks and pouts and accuses me of not taking what he wants into account. Call me crazy, but I'm not sure how I can work a cloaking ceremony into a Catholic wedding service. He insists we should ask the priest anyway.
We work at a very large company. We are planning to invite some of our peers, some of whom are upper management. I really don't want to feel embarrassed on my wedding day. Is there a way to compromise? | Fiancé wants a game of thrones wedding, I do not. How to compromise without looking like complete dorks. |
t3_1fu53s | offmychest | We started decently, now he's light years ahead of me. | We started dating in our graduating year of highschool. He was new to the school, typical hornomal acne teen, small build, tall, amazing personality. Myself, im very average looking, a bit chunky, shy and very insecure. Our first summer together was amazing. All my life i have felt alone and never ha anyone care about me so much. It was hard to let him in, and even believe that a guy would be interested in me ( he's my first everything).
College starts, he goe about 4 hours away from me - we decide to contiue long distance- visiting each other 2-3 times a month. I had a fun year. I met a group of girls (all of which are much better looking than i) This month, he literally turned into that average ace boy to a fucking model. He looks amazing. His face is sculpted so perfectly, perfect 5 -oclock shadow, his body- lets not even go there. On top of all that he turned into a social butterfly. he visted me once with my friends and they loved him. One went to as far to say that they would make out with him. He's so smooth with all the girls and has some type of magic secret that makes girls love him.
When we went out to the bars and clubs- girls (very attractive ones) approach him and try to dance with him(he's also an azming dancer- fuck me right?) all infront of me. It hurts. I just feel like im not... Worthy of him. Everyday i fear he'll leave me and find someone new. Once a month when he visits me and spends a night all with me. He calls it 'our night' where we slow down and just talk on my bed. No phones, no laptops. Just genuine talk. Even sex, he's a greek god. How can someone be so fucking amazing? And be with me? My insecurities are killing me. I cant stop thinking that he's cheating on me. He's too good for me. He just finished cooking me dinner. Im paranoid to go downstairs To the kitchen where he'll smooth talk all my roomates. I may cry. | boy friend is much better than me in every aspect. My insecurities are crippling me |
t3_j1tft | self | Possible head trauma? | It all happened when I was 3 years old. I grew up on a farm & close to the house is a hill. In that hill, a weird storage space had been dug out. Well, I decide to climb the thing. When at the top, I have a look over the edge (where the door to the storage was). Now, from that point, there's a roughly 3 meter drop. I of course fall down and land on my head. My left ear started bleeding (partial loss of hearing). I don't know how long I lay there until I was brought to a hospital. Guess it were like 2-3 hours. Maybe more O.o
I get back home from the hospital a couple of days later. The day after I got home, I climb a chair in the kitchen and fall, head first, over the back of the chair. Back to the hospital with me. Then I got a helmet, that I had to wear for some time.
The hospital info I have:
*Fractured skull.*
*40-50% loss of hearing on left ear. *
I (and others) have noticed that I shake constantly. We used to joke that I suffered from parkinson's disease (no ill intended). I feel like my balance is messed up. Rarely walk in a straight line. I also think my memory is starting to fail (details are getting really fussy).
Now I'm 23 and I'll be going to the doctor soon. Wonder what will come out of an MRI or a CT scan. | I got a cool helmet. |
t3_35wq1e | Advice | How do I realize and accept my mortality? | I kind of walk around with an invincible halo effect... its a coping skill that got me through high school, and it was severely challenged in college.
I didnt even know what was happening until recently, now 26.
I think what lead me to question my entitled aura was a futurama quote the Fry said. Something along the lines of "well, I just ignore my mortality. it works great for me"
i think deep down inside, i had a belief that life, for me was never going to end. And this actually lead me into a couple of near death situations. car accidents, robberies (buying drugs), getting beat up and not fighting back because i thought itd just end.
Addressing my mortality is something that I cant do yet and I NEED to do it. There is some type of wall between me and accepting my humanity. I think its my Ego, but why? Maybe I am afraid of apathetic feelings so I just block them off all together?
This is a major sticking point in life for me because without it, I cant connect to other humans. Sometimes Ill have moments of clarity where Im present, which is driven by fear of not having enough time on earth, but it seems as if my knee jerk reaction is to close up, switch on the adrenaline, and say fuck it, no one would dare even talk to me.
This causes a lot of problems for me and I dont know what to do. | I subconsciously refuse to believe that I will die and it causes me to be incapable of connecting to other humans. |
t3_3e91il | askwomenadvice | Was my comment sexist? | Hi everyone.
I just wanted some perspective on my behavior to understand whether or not, from your perspectives, I was being sexist. It may seem minor to some however I think that it is important for a number of underlying reasons. I'm not looking for validation or anything, just clarification so as to be more mindful in the future.
Basically, a girl on facebook posted a picture of herself driving, well to be more accurate, of her parked in her car in a parking lot looking a little hysterical or excited and leaning in close to her wheel. It was a funny picture.
The comments from others were typical, either praising her or joking around. I made a joke asking who she hit this time? She posted a comment saying that sexist jokes would not be tolerated. I was at first quite baffled at her response and unsure if it was directed at me or not, so at least in my mind it was unexpected. I'm not sure of the sexist connotation so I asked for clarification and explained the basis of my joke (based on the above description of her picture).
Someone else made a joke about her to slow down and she joked about being a speedster, so perhaps in my mind she was ok with these sorts of jokes?
I've never made a sexist joke in my life and do find all sorts of sexism distasteful, and I do try to be sensitive around that topic, hence the main purpose of this post. My intention behind the joke was innocent, it was not directed at women in general or based on any sort of mysogynistic impulses, it was just a light-hearted reaction to her picture.
At the same time though, she did interpret it that way so I don't want to invalidate her perspective or anything. I do understand that it's her wall and she can disallow anything she wants and that's fine. However, if one gets accused of sexism when it was not ones intention to be sexist, I would think that one would be allowed the space to clarify themselves. Is that reasonable?
Anyways, she blocked/deleted me after I asked for clarification, so I was wondering if my joke and my reaction were uncalled for and deserving of censure.
Thanks, | Made a joke on a girls picture (of her in her car) asking who she hit this time. Called out for making a sexist joke. Wanting perspective. |
t3_2n2cyw | relationships | I [29F] with my husband [29M] of 7 years, I'm losing sexual interest in him. | We have a great relationship. Just lately, I'm not interested in sex anymore. About a year ago, I wanted it all the time and often initiated it more than he did. I found myself not even turned on the last time we had sex. I love my husband and I don't want to be like this.
I thought about bringing this up with him but it's more of something I'd like to figure out more about before I tell him. I know he has a lot of pressure at work right now and the last thing I wanna do is add to it and make him think it's him. | No longer want to be intimate with my husband, help! |
t3_26gldk | AskReddit | Entrepreneurs of Reddit: How do you deal with the struggle of getting more customers? | I'm not looking for advice or tactics and tips. There's plenty of that online and plenty of my friends telling me what to do. Sometimes, it just doesn't work, no matter how awesome your advice is. Getting customers is hard.
Do you or have you struggled with this? Join me as I wallow in my self pity so I don't feel alone. Share your pain. I'll start :)
I started my own online business with much hoopla and announced it to everyone. Big mistake. Now that I'm struggling to get customers, everyone is coming out of the woodwork to tell me what to do and telling me not to quit. Ironically, their support now makes me feel like more of a failure. If I stop now, it's like I'm letting everyone down. If I don't, I may just be digging a deeper hole. I feel like I've tried everything, I invested my time and money, but it's just not working out. None of my friends are entrepreneurial and I'm tired of getting advice. I thought there would be redditors that could relate and we could share our struggles. | Instead of asking for advice on how to get customers (there's plenty of that elsewhere), join this thread to complain about how difficult it is to find customers. |
t3_2s19cj | tifu | TIFU by being paranoid | I live in a country where a lot of crimes (theft, mostly) happen in public transportation. Being the paranoid that I am, I not only carry a swiss knife in my bag, but I also enrolled myself in basic self-defense classes, and carried the strongest pepper-spray sold in town. I am female.
I do not usually take the bus, but the time this fuck-up happened, riding the bus seemed more convenient (as the train broke down that day).I got into a seat, and the bus was almost full in a couple of minutes.
Now, an unusually tall, dark man decided to sit beside me. He was getting all fidgety and I could see he was trying to reach for something in his large duffel bag. The paranoid in me started thinking, "he's reaching for his knife, or his gun, or something to strangle me with..." It didn't help that he kept looking at me from time to time which made me intensely uncomfortable.
He then seemed to have found that thing he was looking for earlier. He looked at me intently, from top to bottom. My heart was beating really fast by this time, and I already have my pepper spray in hand, ready to fire. The man started to whisper, "Miss..."
I FIRED THE GODDAMN PEPPER-SPRAY AND STOOD UP AND PANICKED AND ASKED THE BUS DRIVER TO LET ME GO DOWN AS I WAS BEING ROBBED.
This time, I was almost near the bus the door when I decided to look back on the creepy man trying to abduct me.
He was holding a bible and some pamphlets and was desperately crying for help.
I facepalm-ed my way out of the bus. | Rode a bus, being extremely paranoid, pepper-sprayed a pastor (whom I mistook for a mugger). |
t3_29fjas | relationships | Why is she (19) making a huge presence in my (19) life? | I liked this girl, i manipulated her, made her cry, confessed to her a week later, brotherzoned. A few weeks later, I flirted with girls in front of her, asked for girls numbers, hung out with different girls instead of her during parties, etc to keep my mind off her.
Instead of disappearing from her life, I stayed as a close friend. It was awkward the first few days but after I showed her that I wanted to be friends, our relationship grew.
A few weeks later, a friend asked her why she wouldn't date me and she said that her ex ruined how she looks at guys; she only plans on focusing on school and herself for now until she's finished with school
Since then I've taken more of passive role in our relationship. She would always be the one inviting me to parties, starbucks, a friend's house to hang out, etc. Before the confession, I'd do anything in my power to go but now I've declined most and accepted a few if I'm free.
She's asked me to go to the same 4 year college as her and go to the same country she's studying abroad. I've declined but she's pressuring me to do it, so why? | Brotherzoned and yet wants me to follow her around? |
t3_47tpd6 | relationships | My (23f) newly ex boyfriend (23m) is coming home drunk.... a lot. Need advice ASAP, he's at the bar now. | Recently broke up with my emotionally abusive boyfriend of 1.5 years. We live together in an apartment and neither of us can move until one of us can save money to get into a new place. It was a mutual decision (aka blowout fight) to end things, but we're coping in very different ways. It's been about a week since the final breakup.
He's been out until extremely late for the past 4 nights and I only recently realized that he's been at the bar getting drunk. He made a comment about not knowing how some girls numbers got into his phone, to give you an idea how drunk he is. I confronted him and asked him to please not bring anyone home because I couldn't handle it and to please call me if he needed a ride. He responded by getting defensive and saying that I was the "last fucking person he would call". I'm afraid that he's masking his emotions with anger and alcohol, possibly wanting something bad to happen from his drinking and driving. He's got a history of depression, signs of bipolar disorder, and extreme anger issues. He doesn't know how to cope with anything.
I'm literally the only one in a 100 mile radius that he COULD call if he needed a DD, and he's too stubborn to call me. How can I make sure he doesn't kill himself/ someone else by being an idiot and driving home drunk from the bar every night? | My ex is coping with the breakup by drinking at the bar every night for the past week, drives himself home. I'm the only option for him to have a DD but he won't call me. Help? |
t3_23qwn3 | jobs | Advice on when to reach out again to the hiring manager for possible position. | Hey guys,
I work in the media industry and my current title is a production assistant for a sports station. Even thought I'm 24 I've had some great experiences in my past and have been able to make a lot of connections to land me where I am today. However my passion lies in late night TV.
My question is this. After months of networking I've been able to finally get an email to the hiring manager at a show I've always wanted to work at because one of my former colleagues worked for them in the past.
I finally reached out to the hiring manager last week with my resume, cover letter & the man who referred me asking for any type of entry level job (production assistant) & even an internship if that was their only opening. A week past and he just sent me an email today, responding:
"Thank you for your email and interest in ----. Unfortunately, we have no positions available for someone with your qualifications. Feel free to touch base on occasion to inquire further.
All the best,
------
What you guys recommend I do next? When do I follow up? Also, do you think he's saying I'm over qualified for an internship?
Thanks! | contacted hiring manager, got a no position available now response, trying to figure out the rule of thumb of when to reach out again? |
t3_1l94lg | relationships | I [M23] didn't set boundaries with my fuckbuddy-now-girlfriend [F22] | A few years ago, I started hooking up with this girl. We hooked up a lot, and are still hooking up to this day. However, in the first two years, we never set boundaries or even placed a label on the relationship. It explicitly started out as a friends-with-benefits situation (her words), and since neither of us brought it up, I assumed that it would continue to be a friends with benefits situation. Therefore in those two years, I did hook up with other girls.
She never explicitly acknowledged that we were a couple. We never went 'public' in any way. Part of it may be due to the fact that she's naturally a somewhat awkward/private/shy person, but whatever. I'm not sure any of her close friends knew what we 'were' either - but they were aware that we had a 'thing'.
Nevertheless, in order to avoid unnecessary drama (we went to the same uni and I was somewhat friendly with her friends) I did not broadcast the fact that I was hooking up with other girls.
Then last year, she indirectly referred to me as her boyfriend (she said "yeah I told [best friend] that you were my boyfriend") and I immediately stopped hooking up with other girls. What confused me is that I wasn't aware at what point we transitioned from FWB to an exclusive relationship.
Stuff that was almost definitely my fault: we were cuddly and affectionate in private (although she was not at all affectionate in public...and she still isn't) to the extent that I should have defined the relationship.
So - how should I deal with those past hookups? It's a small community that we're in, and there's a decent chance that she may run into them. I don't want to bring it up because it's awkward - *especially* if she assumed that we were exclusively in those first two years. What should I do?
Points of note: I was her first relationship/hookup. I don't think she hooked up with other people in those first two years. | FWB-turned-GF, but we never defined the relationship for the first two years. I hooked up with other people in those two years, but I don't know whether or not she assumed that we were a couple or just FWB in those two years. Now worried about how to explain this to her if she ever runs into someone that I hooked up with in those first two years. |
t3_2ae4o7 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my [24 F] of 5 months, frequently orgasms a few times, and quits before I can as well | Good evening folks, hoping I can gain some perspective here.
I'm having a problem in my relationship related to sex. We started out friends with benefits for a couple of months, and took it up to the next level recently. It's been going great.
Except well, our sexual compatibility is such that after having sex for 10-15 minutes, she's worn out and on the verge of sleep. I'd say 50 percent of the time, I don't finish before this occurs. I've suggested oral to finish me off, but she says she hates it and thinks its gross, and it'd be too much effort in her depleted state. The first time or two this happened, I was half and half, pat on the back/frustration (how am I going to sleep? Just ended up wanking in the bathroom)
On the flip side, I love giving oral, indeed, the one time I convinced her to try 69, she said I was way harder than any time she had given me head, which had happened 3 times, in the early stages.
I'm not worried that its an excuse the task of sex is onerous, because she initiates frequently and when the thought occurred to me, I looked up signs of orgasm and she exhibits them, sweating, flushed, vaginal contractions, thigh twitching, increased wetness..
I'm at a loss, when I try to keep going she says shes too worn out, even hurts sometimes, and I certainly don't want to push past that. And if she's about to fall asleep/hates giving oral, I don't want to press her into something she doesn't want to do.. But I have no clue what to do. I've brought it up, but shes in the same boat and is at a loss also. | SO orgasms a few times and tires out too quickly for me to finish during sex, leaving me to finish alone in the bathroom. What to do?? |
t3_1luyt7 | relationship_advice | [21/M] My GF's [22/F] diminishing sex drive is driving me crazy | We have been together for 2.5 years and have generally had sex every night that we are together. Over the summer it seems like her sex drive has diminished a lot. Our hometown's are a little over an hour away from each other and we have both been working a lot so we haven't been able to see each other much. At the beginning of the summer we would see each other once or twice a week and we were having sex some of the time. This was less than normal, but I was still ok with it. Over the past month I have had to work 48 hours a week so we didn't get to see each other until this passed Tuesday. We've spent the past three days together until she left this morning and over that whole time we didn't have sex at all. Since we didn't have sex the last time we hung out before these past few days it has now probably been over a month and a half since we had sex.
Obviously I miss having sex with my gf, but beyond that the lack of sex has also affected me in a number of ways. Her lack of sex drive has made me start to wonder if she is either cheating on me, or doesn't find me attractive anymore. I highly doubt that either of these issues are true, but the thoughts have still crept into my head and make me feel really self-conscious and shitty. Aside from the mental problems, our lack of sex has also led me to severe blue balls on multiple occasions.
I know my GF takes Celexa which can curb people's sex drive, but she has been taking it for our entire relationship and this is a totally recent thing. I want to talk to her about the situation but I don't know how to bring it up with out guilting her into sex? How do I start the conversation and what should I say to her? | haven't had sex with my girlfriend in 1.5 months and its causing physical and emotional problems for me |
t3_4armdu | relationships | My [31F] roommate of 1 year [26M] wants to throw a big party even though I work that weekend | Basically what the title says. I work the occasional weekend, and my roommate has announced he's throwing a party in 2 weeks (on a weekend I work) because that's when the most people can attend his party.
I told him I work that day and I cannot ask for it off because my roommate is having a party. He stated that he's not cancelling his party so I have to deal with it. I told him that I'm not happy about this and that he could have picked a weekend I didn't work.
He's telling me I'm being ridiculous and that his party will be over by 2 am and that I'll be fine on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. It's obvious that we are not meant to be roommates so I'm looking into finding a new place to live, but that won't happen before his party (have to give notice, etc etc). How can I convey to this guy that I'm not okay with him having this party? | roommate says he's having a party in 2 weeks, I have to work and I'm not okay with it. He doesn't care and says he's having it anyway. |
t3_ucr41 | relationships | Fighting in marriage | Hi /r/relationships, created this throw away because I don't want personal friends to know about my marital issues. My wife is 24 and I am 26. Been married for 3 years, together for 6.
My wife is a wonderful woman who is creative, funny and absolute pleasure to be around and have been married for nearly 3 years. We have had a few fights throughout the 3 years on a range of topics. The most common is a lack of ambition. An event occurred that is not easily solved because of letting it to on for so long. So our normal routine happened, I get upset, she apologizes profusely, and I don't respond because I don't want to say anything I don't mean. I always let something stew for a little and think about what I want to say carefully. I had to think long and hard about it, and let myself calm down. I was irritated with her, and the situation that we were both in. I fell asleep and then got up for work.
I was headed out and she was still awake playing on her computer. I didn't know what to say, but just wanted to leave for the day. This is where she just broke down and told me she was sorry for who she was, and the problem she caused me. I have never felt lower then I do today reddit. I know I need to change how i deal with situations like this, and looking for guidance. After she told me this sobbing, I called into work and took a personal day to discuss this with her. We took a few hours to talk about how we felt and what we could do to solve it all.
She is feeling better, but know there is something personal I need to work on with communication and how to handle situation when not ideal. Is this common? Do we sometimes hurt the ones we love this bad? /r/relationships husbands, what do you do when getting upset about a situation? Is there anything I can do differently to never put my SO through this? Or is this just an expected result? I know our marriage prep said we would we fight, and get upset, but seeing her crying like that and apologizing for who she was really really hurt me. | Had a bad fight, think its mostly my fault, need to know how to handle these situations better without taking to long to think about what to say. |
t3_3m3xg0 | relationships | My(18/m) girlfriend (17/f) of 1 year doesn't seem to appreciate what I go though for her. What can I do? | For the last year+ I've been bending over backwards to Help her, if something goes wrong I'm there she needs to. Talk I'm there 24/7 I do My best to be second asleep all the time in case something happens and she needs my help.
I went and got a job to go do things with her this summer even though I had a lot on my plate with school already. She's always calling off plans I make like going on dates and family outings I'm always paying for everything, buying her stuff, and I get nothing in return. I'm not looking for sex, but for her to possibly do the same I'm yet to see her even try.
I'm recently not liking this anymore as I'm going and clearing out my nights plans to Skype her and then she's to run off and do something 5 minutes I not the call. I've a feeling she doesn't care but I'm unsure as I may have 'love' goggles still.
Sentences such as 'I love you' and 'I care about you' means nothing to me any more because I feel there's no action behind them and they are meaningless.
How would I go about dealing with such a matter? And how would I ask for her words to be met with actions?
It's not so Much the talking to her but the phrasing off it all. | I do a lot for her and feel as I'd she doesn't care anymore. Not looking to break up but just how to work it out. |
t3_2gy9ad | relationships | My [27 F] husband [30 M] of six months is driving me crazy | No one thing jumps out, so I'm going to list a few.
- If he doesn't want to have sex, he thinks it's perfectly normal and I should respect that and never question it, even if it goes on for weeks at a time. If I don't want to have sex (like it's midnight and he wakes me up and I just want to sleep because I have to work in the morning - and I asked him at 10:00pm if he wanted to have sex and he said no), I am a horrible person for not satisfying his needs, and he responds by refusing to speak to me. (This is new and was not present when we dated for nearly 2 years).
- My money is "our" money, his money is "his" money. Lately he can't seem to hold down a job for very long, leaving me to pay bills. I'm broke and paycheck-to-paycheck now. Yet if he gets money, he immediately spends it. When I ask him to contribute, he says he will ... in a few weeks. When I ask for his work schedule, he's evasive.
- He will randomly leave in the middle of the night (like 1 a.m.) and think I don't notice, then give a really odd excuse. He's accused me of cheating, and said he "wouldn't be surprised if I had." Once he looked through my phone, but there's nothing there but my texts to him.
- He says I visit my family too much. (Twice a week.)
- He's been very sarcastic, and likes to egg me on, or tell me something and later say "I never said that!" I try to calmly tell him he's upsetting me, and he just ridicules me. I suggested couples therapy, he'll alternately refuse or tell me to go by myself.
I used to love his company, but he's become so rude to me, I don't know what to do. | Husband is basically beating me down on a lot of fronts - emotionally, financially, etc. How do I deal with this? |
t3_19lecj | jobs | How much info should be in a LinkedIn profile? | I recently started attempting to tailor my resume to the specific jobs I am applying to, but it's raised a question for me. If I have jobs that are listed on my LinkedIn profile but not my resume for a particular application, or if I have details of job responsibilities that are on my resume but not LinkedIn or vice-versa, how does that look to employers?
Since there's a limited amount of real estate on a resume, I only put responsibilities & jobs that I think are directly relevant to and/or strengthen my application, and I often rephrase descriptions to emphasize the most relevant details. But I'm concerned that this will look inconsistent with my LinkedIn profile, which I can't possibly keep tailored to each job I apply to as I may have several active applications at a time.
Would it make more sense to just list the company, job title, and duration on Linked in, and save details for the resume? I feel like that also leaves an opportunity on the table but I don't know how to balance these issues.
ETA: | how much detail should be in a LinkedIn job description? How do I keep my LinkedIn profile consistent with my resume when I am applying to multiple positions at a time, which may not require the same experience? |
t3_1b4p4j | dating_advice | I'm (21) and met a great girl two weeks back at a wedding (20). Cant get her to text back after the first few times. | Attended a friend's wedding last week and hit it off with a bridesmaid at the reception. Danced, talked for a few hours, she came over afterwards - really hit it off.
Got her number (lives 2 hrs away). She responds decent responses to texts, but I decided to wait a week to text her after she wouldn't respond mid way through conversation and she hasn't responded yet.
Initially after first meeting her, she told me she has never had a BF before. (Good Christian Girl). (Both 21)
Am I wrong to want to not give up on pursing or should I call it quits? | see title |
t3_2fse0h | relationships | This girl I'm seeing [23 F] just got out of a four year relationship and told me [27 M] she didn't want to jump into a relationship with me. Does that mean she's down to hook up with other guys? | We started talking less than a month ago and this week we started sleeping with each other. I feel like a couple when we're together but she always telling me it will take a long time for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Tonight she went to the club without me so I asked her what was going on between us. She didn't give me a straight answer just that she didn't want to be burdened by a relationship and that we should work on our friendship first. That all sounds good except it could also mean she wants to be with other men too. Her drunk friend told me she has a different boyfriend every month and she has an account on wealthymen.com :(
I lost my virginity to this girl. I've never even kissed anyone else. | I don't know whether this girl I'm seeing is flaky or not but there are a lot of warning signs. |
t3_435p80 | relationships | Me [26 M] with my [31 M] very confused and not sure how to approach "the talk" really needing advice. | The history with my guy is an interesting one, but I'll keep it short.
We met at the gym around June, we were both busy so we didn't get to hang out a lot. Well, we eventually made time, more time, and then more time. I was quickly falling for this guy. I wasn't out yet, but he was. He still had internalized homophobia and that would weigh heavy on us plus me being a secret.
Well this past September rolls around and he out of the blue he calls it quits. He says that "I can do better than him, he's not ready, he hates being gay." I was crushed. For about 2 months I was very depressed. We kept in contact randomly, but never hung out....until one day he hits me up to hang out. I was nervous but it was for a charity he was heading up.
After that point we slowly started to hang out more....this past month everything feels back to the way it was. But my feelings for him keep growing.....I'm falling in love I think. Here's where I need help:
He has the possibility of moving away and I'm crushed. It's not set in stone but he tells me it's a 90% sure thing, but there's lots of red tape to be crossed first. Well, I've been crushed...again. I'm depressed, anxious, crying....I know dumb right?
Do I have to have the "talk" with him? I'm so fearful that it will ruin everything. A little about him: he's a great guy, but when it comes to emotions it's hard for him....he's ex special forces and is all around bad ass....but that comes at an emotional price. He wants to be "normal" and he's getting way better. Just the other night he called me his boyfriend to our server....in a joking manner, but that means something right?
I need to know how to approach the situation. I've had these talk before but I've never had them with someone I'm falling for. So I'm freaking out. | First gay relationship, he might be moving away, not sure how to approach having "the talk" about us, think I'm falling in love first the first time. |
t3_2wlxg9 | tifu | TIFU by unintentionally stealing my Christmas present | Now, this happened around 6 years ago. I was at that age where I was a goody two shoes. Like if my mom told me to eat a dick I would eat a dick.
So anyways, it was almost Christmas time. My sister went out to buy some presents and I went to go draw shit on the wall. She came back with Christmasy bags with my present in one of them. She put the presents on the table and went to go eat dinner. I was super excited and took a quick glance at the bag, wondering what it was. When I came to eat dinner shortly after, she asked me to guess what it was. Now being a huge rubix cube nerd, I guessed the rubix cube. My sister then frowned and asked why did I look inside the bag. I said I didn't but she wouldn't believe me. This made me furious and upset that my sister didn't trust me.
Here is where the Fuck Up starts. I finished eating dinner super fast and I stole the present for "revenge". I took the Rubix Cube out of the bag and hid it next to my bed. Now me being young and not having brain cells yet, I took the bag too, leaving plainly visible on my table. So when she came back up the stairs, she sees one of the bags on the table missing and a bag in my room she knew. She came to my room upset and yelled at me, asking why did I peek and lie and saying that she trusted me. So, as a kid, I was confused and didn't know why I was being yelled at because I knew I told the truth and then it hit me. I'm a dumbass. | Sister got presents, guessed what my present was, sister thought I peeked at what my present was, got mad, stole present, and got rekt. |
t3_2g2u7j | relationships | Girlfriend (20f) just told me (20m) we need a break right before our 3 year anniversary, and I'm terrified. | So long story short, I thought she was the one. We bonded very quickly when we first met, and had almost no problems besides the occasional little argument, which we got over and changed pretty quickly. I deeply love her, but last night she drops this on me. She says that she loves me and can't see life without me, but then says we need a break for reasons she can't understand. Do breaks work? Is this just code for something?
I don't want to lose her in the slightest, but it looks like she has other plans. I care about her happiness. If a breakup is what she wants I'd rather know that now and move on in life. I want advice on how to understand what she's feeling, and how to prove that we should stay together. I never felt love like this before and I'm truly scared of this break leading to worse things. | Girlfriend says she still loves me, and for reasons she can't understand feels the need to be separate. Want to understand and be supportive. |
t3_sk8j3 | relationships | Becoming too predictable(kind of a read) | So for those of you who have heard this line before "you are just becoming too predictable" what does it really mean in full detail? How can you make things exciting again? I'm going to break routine and try new things but right now it's just really confusing. Lately she's been busy with work and school and we haven't gotten to talk much and last night when we finally had time to talk it ended up in that line up there. She said our relationship was becoming predictable and it's not just me.
I asked her if she wanted to take a break or if she wanted to go talk to other guys for a while and she started crying saying no she doesn't want to and that she loves me. So I gave her time to think and this morning she said she wants to take time off school so she can get this relationship back on track.
I just feel like she's losing feelings for me but she wants to make it work and I'm stuck here trying to figure out what to do. I haven't texted her back yet, she's at work still but if I do text her back then I'm back in my old routine. You know, always being there for her.
Should I give her some space and just leave her alone for a day or two till she realizes what she really wants or do I talk to her? How do I contribute to healing this predictable relationship? | girlfriend says relationship is becoming too predictable. asked her if she wanted a break, cried and said no she doesn't. she wants more time with me. i'm confused and need advice. I'm 18(m) she's 19(f) |
t3_454bjk | relationships | Im in college and my [21F] Mother [45F] steals money from me and guilts me for it | So I am in my final semester of college. I graduate in May. My mother has access to my bank account but it was only supposed to be for her to pay my rent. I work part time as a server and I am also taking 16 credit hours so I can graduate.
Recently, my mother has been taking sums of money from my account and putting it in hers without telling me. I will go to check my account balance and see that the money is missing. My family has always lived paycheck to paycheck, but I am trying to stray away from that.
I try to save my money for my future but everytime I get a decent amount in my savings she will take it. She also makes me feel guilty for doing so. She will say things like, "Well, I guess I won't eat lunch today."
My rent is $579 a month and due on the 1st. Aside from her taking money, she has been paying my rent on the 14th of every month almost to the point where I'm getting evicted. I have to remind her every time. I don't know what to do. Its really frustraring to me because I feel like I never have any money because she takes it. I shouldn't be suffering because she doesn't kbow how to budget her money. Help! | Mother promises to pay my rent, but always pays it late to the point of eviction. She also takes money whenever she pleases from my account. |
t3_2sh7ok | relationships | Me [19F] having a hard time when it comes to meeting guys and talking to them. | Hey, everyone!
I'm REALLY insecure. I've never ever had a boyfriend before, boys have approached me in the past, and I simply push them off, due to my insecurity.
A new year started, and I've been feeling better lately, I think my self-confidence is starting to grow a bit, and that seems nice.
There are a couple of guys I'm interested in, yet I don't know how to approach them. I'm usually quite panicky, and when a guy approaches me I literally being to shake, and it's embarassing.
I would to like to approach guys in an easy way, and kinda friendly, without my face, moves, and body screaming "HEY BOY I WANT YOUR D".
A few days ago a guy asked for my number, in a friendly way -I suppose- and ohshit, I had to breath deeply in order to be able to keep my cool. | How do you approach a guy you're interested in, without coming off as creepy, or weird? And as an anxious/insecure person what do you do when you're interested in someone?. |
t3_2ei2zs | relationships | My [17M] SO [17F] of more than 6 months is afraid of sexual advances because of bad experiences with her past ex-boyfriend | Roughly two years ago my SO was in a toxic relationship that consisted of her boyfriend using her (face timing naked so he could masturbate, thinks like that) for his own pleasure. I wouldn't compare it to rape, since it was consensual and not nearly as horrific (the furthest they went that I know of was fingering once), but she seems to have a lot of the same signs that victims have. We are very open about it, and I accept her as she is. However, as our relationship has furthered, we both felt we needed to physically move forward.
Basically she is "saddened" whenever she or I makes any sexual advances, ie. touching her breasts or high up on the leg. She has initiated almost every time, and she is always gloomy and sad afterwards.
I try to help by comforting her and letting her know that I love her and will wait until she is comfortable, and that I don't care about what she did in the past. I have told her that she should try to accept what happened and learn from it, but move on.
I believe we have progressed a bit, but not enough that she isn't saddened after. However we can do some things with no problem.
I truly love this girl and everything about her. I have accepted this with her and I this problem has not changed my feelings about her, but I do not know how long I can go on with barely any of the physicality of love... | Have problems with SO because her past relationship's sexual matters seem to have traumatized her. |
t3_2xorhg | relationships | Me [22F] with my mother [43F] and father [46M], finding it hard to cope, as an adult, with the separation of my parents. | To give some context on my situation before we begin... I have lived away from home since 18 - going to university. I have since lived with my BF, moving across the country from my family. Due to childhood issues, I have been going to a counsellor, which have revealed some mistreatment on my mum's behalf of myself. Before I moved away from home, life with mum was hard with her negative attitude and I have a much better relationship now because of the distance.
My dad phoned me on the way to work this morning, and said he wanted to tell me in case he told my mum tonight - that he wants to leave her. I can remember at fifteen going away with my dad to meet up with his side of the family because of similar issues. His reasoning, because of her negative attitude and her refusal to get a job. However, mum promised to change and life went on.
This feels different. Dad has major financial issues and mum's promises of getting a job have never been fulfilled, not even looking. He said that he wants to be happy - and I agree! I am a teacher and constantly tell my students about chasing happiness. He has health issues and being with mum is causing him to drink and smoke.
I am scared of being caught in the middle of this. My whole world feels like it's broken. I don't know how to even begin to feel emotions beyond fear for this. Dad is telling mum tonight or at the end of the week - and I feel lost.
So, how do you deal, as an adult, with your parents separating? | how do you deal with parents [24 year relationship] separation? |
t3_4irg9l | relationships | Me [28 F] with my BF [31 M] 2 years: I hate that I am that stereotype: I want to get married, he is not ready | Yes, I know 2 years is nothing and I am rushing things. I just need advice on how I can change my thinking to be okay with waiting.
We have lived together for 1 year. Originally when these conversations about the future began he said he wanted to enjoy the dating period first before moving on to the next step (he is relatively inexperienced). Then when we moved in, he said he wanted to enjoy/get used to living together for awhile. Other than that, it has been very difficult for him to come up with any specific reasons for not being ready, or anything he wants to accomplish personally or relationship wise before moving onto the next step.
I know "being ready" does not always come with tangible steps, but it is hard for me to not have any idea if we are moving closer. I try not to bring it up as much as I can, because I hate the idea of pressuring him. I don't want these conversations to just be me venting my sadness, and I really don't have anything productive to contribute to the conversation or to ask for. I also hate that our relationship check in conversations basically seem to boil down to: "How are you feeling?" "Not ready yet." "Okay, I'll talk to you again in a few months." I know how much we love each other. I want to marry and have a family with him, but I worry he will never be ready.
Does anyone have any advice on how to make these check in conversations more productive? How can I just enjoy dating without worrying about the future? | Need advice on how to be patient about waiting for marriage. |
t3_1dxg6r | relationships | Wondering if it would be ok for me(m34) to get a mother's day gift for a friend (f27) who was once a girlfriend. | I have a friend that has a 2 year old. I dated this friend for a short time and still care very much for her but ended the relationship because of outside issues. I have since been in a new relationship with someone else. I know that the friend would like to get back together with me if things don't work out in my new relationship. I don't want to send my friend/ex-girlfriend the wrong message, but I keep thinking about getting her a mother's day gift. I know that the father of the child isn't in the picture, and there really isn't anyone to celebrate her as a mother. I think she is a wonderful mother and would like to do something for her but don't want to give her the wrong impression.
She and her daughter are coming over tomorrow and I thought I would get her something that I could have her daughter give her. I don't want to be cheap about it with just a card and some junky little thing but also can't go buying her something really expensive.
So I'm asking,
1. Should I get her something? and
2. If so, any suggestions on what would be okay to give? | Thinking of getting a friend who is a single mother and ex-girlfriend, a mother's day gift. (I'm not the father) Should I? and if so, any suggestions? |
t3_jc4zk | relationships | Is he genuinely busy or is something else going on? | Hi reddit. This one will take a little bit of background (first post on /r/relationships but I'll do my best).
I met this guy just over a month ago. I'm female, 17 and he's male, French, 27. The age gap came as a surprise to both of us, as he though me older and I thought him younger. We're both okay with it.
He approached me out of the blue in a coffee shop at the mall where I was before work and asked to sit with me. He started asking lots of questions and was very friendly and approachable. I agreed to meet him after my shift for another coffee, he was easy to get on with and seemed interested.
Since that point we met for coffee a lot and even went out in the evening a couple of times together. He's been texting me, everything seemed positive but then he got very busy with work.
While I've made an effort to make other plans, he continues to be very busy and I've only seen him once in the past few weeks. He tells me that he does really want to spend time with me; at one point I did ask him if I had the wrong idea about the two of us and he insisted he was just busy, not that he'd lost interest. Still, he won't make solid plans with me.
I guess what I'm asking is whether you guys think it's worth putting effort into. I feel that even if he *was* just looking for sex (16 is the age of consent where I live), that he'd be making some more effort. I've been trying to make plans, and I'm genuinely interested in this guy. And from everything he's said, he still fancies me!
Is there anything I can do to make it work, or should I just leave it for him to chase me for a while? Should I do anything differently? Help! | 10 year age gap, we're both really into each other, but he's keeps saying he's busy and won't make plans with me. |
t3_19iuxy | relationship_advice | [17/F] Can someone tell me why he (17/M) hasn't talked to me about this. | So I have a close guy friend, though before we were really good friends I liked him and he liked me. But after a short time he one day informed me that all though he enjoyed spending time with me, he did not want to " pursue a relationship at this time." with me. So as the months have progressed we have become really close,recently about two weeks ago HE started a relationship with a girl in our school.( I found out by asking one of my friends in our circle) Things aren't going that well and he wants to break up with her,the thing is that even though i believe we are the close friends , I still wonder why he hasn't told me about how he is dating a new girl or even that he was having issues. | Why hasn't my good guy friend told me about his new relationship? |
t3_4obfkz | relationship_advice | Am I a bad person for wanting to be physically attracted to someone I want to date? | I'm going to try to keep this brief. I'd prefer keeping this gender/sexless for the sake of objectivity.
I'm someone who works out. I'm not a body builder, but I keep myself in pretty good shape.
A great friend of mine isn't in shape, but has expressed desire to get in shape. I'd be willing to help and, of course get better at what I do in the process; eating better and working out, etc.
Here's the thing. This person is a great friend of mine, and I would probably consider dating this person seriously if they were... Less overweight, I guess?They're great friends, and some of my best friends are also big. This person has also been dropping hints about having feelings for me. But I'm keeping my distance for now. And the thing is, it's not even like they need to have a hard bod or an hourglass figure. I just don't want super overweight. Hell, I've dated more than my fair share of 'pear-y people' I guess you could say.
I guess the question is, how big of a piece of shit am i for not being sexually attracted to this person for this reason? If I get this person in shape and begin dating them, how big of a piece of shit am I?
Any and all opinions and thoughts welcome. | I keep myself in shape and I might not date a friend if they're not in shape |
t3_3gq3em | relationships | Me [20F] with my SO [22 M] 2 years, was raped a year ago and told him last week- struggling to enjoy sex now [Xpost from r/sex] | I posted this in r/sex earlier but didn't get much response so thought I would try here.
Like I said in the title, I was raped a year ago. I don't feel it is necessary to go into full detail here. I had been with my boyfriend a year at the time. I didn't tell him as I wanted to try to forget about it and carry on with my life. I didn't see him for about a week after it happened, and our sex life continued as normal when we did. I have thought about it this year but never really felt had deeply traumatized me and affected me as much as it does with some other people.
Recently we were having a heart to heart about our relationship and I broke down and told him about it. He was devastated, and upset I hadn't told him. He has been great about it though and really supportive.
However, the few times we've had sex since I told him, I've been running into some problems. I have difficulty getting wet and turned on during foreplay, which has never been even the slightest of an issue before. Also, he's tried going on top a couple of times, but the feeling of his weight on me, with his hands on my shoulders, makes me feel so trapped and helpless, and I have to stop sex so I can go on top. I used to love it when he was dominant in bed, but now I hate it when he guides my hips when I'm on top. | Was raped a year ago, told my boyfriend last week and don't enjoy sex as much now. What can I do to get past this and enjoy having sex with him again? |
t3_3njryl | relationship_advice | [27/m] In an emotionless rut [20/f] | I've been dating my girlfriend for four months now. To be honest, I've been considering breaking up with her the entire time. However I can't justify breaking things off without trying to improve it first. I would love to have a relationship we are are both comfortable, can indulge each other, and create memories together (who wouldn't, right)? However there are a few things that I believe are preventing that.
I should state that we are both a bit introverted. Despite being together for a few months, our conversations do NOT flow. I almost hate calling her at night because I know the conversation will die within 5 minutes. I try to listen, really listen, to what she says to create conversation topics, but those too die off. I almost feel like I'm talking to a wall. It's hard enough not being a great conversationalist, but this just doubles the problem.
Aside from that, she hardly shows any emotion towards me. No touching, no initiating, no emotion, no nothing despite me being affectionate often.
I've mentioned all of this to her but she replied saying that's just the way she is and "it is what it is." Is there anything I can possibly do to change our situation? I'm not looking to change HER per se, but I want to change our environment. I want to build a better connection with her. However I'm clueless on how to do this. Any thoughts?
Thank you in advance and sorry for the wall of text =/ | Slightly introverted couple have trouble making connections |
t3_556ast | relationships | MIL told me step-FIL is dying and told me not to tell my husband. | My relationship with my MIL (Cindy) is a bit rocky to say the least, recently though I've been making more of an effort to make it work with her.
Today, we went for a walk and she began telling me that her husband (Randy), has been diagnosed with congenital heart failure and that they want to put in a pace maker and in the same breath asked me not to tell my husband (Daniel). I don't know enough about heart failure to know the seriousness of this, but I'm assuming when they think installing a machine to make your heart beat for you that it's pretty serious.
Daniels bio dad has been out of the picture since he was 10, so Randy is his father in every way that matters. We know that last year Randy had a heart attack and had shunts(sp?) put in, but that is really the last we've heard about it.
I really feel like Daniel needs to know about this, but I know he will ask Cindy and Randy and I've finally gotten to a decent place with Cindy.
I'm angry that she put me in this situation, because I feel like I'm lying to my husband. But, I don't know if I should give them time to tell Daniel or if I should tell him right away? Randy has an appointment with his specialist on Monday, to confirm when they will be putting in the pace maker. | MIL told me my FIL is dying and asked me not to tell my husband. What do I do? |
t3_1lw2mm | offmychest | CAN'T GET MY FEELINGS STRAIGHT! | So I've(22/F) been sleeping with this guy(22/M) I used to go to high school with since June. I've told a few of my close friends, and they all asked me how I felt about him. Truthfully, I've found him attractive, he is a super nice guy, very smart, a gentlemen. But there were no sparks when we kiss. Just general attraction without the butterflies. So last week I went shopping with my coworker at the shoe store he works at, and both him and his coworker found her attractive. This particular coworker does not know that we are sleeping together. The guy asked me if I would be mad if he tried to pursue her and if I was ok with him doing so. I told him I was not mad and that if it happens, it happens. I somehow got in the middle of this and became the middle person. My coworker is not ready to date again since she just ended her relationship a few months ago. And he realised this as well, but still asked me what she thought of him after hanging out a couple nights ago. I don't know if I am feeling jealous or I finally realized that I like him.... But also... haven't had sex with him since he asked me about her... | Sleeping with a guy who likes my coworker?? |
t3_3l38pw | relationships | I [19 M] was just told by the girl [18 F] I've been seeing for a few weeks that she's demiromantic | I'm in college, and this was the first time a relationship seemed like it could actually get anywhere. My cousin and her friend had been trying to set us up all summer, we went on a date and I thought at the time it went pretty well. However, recently she stopped responding to texts, I sent her a message telling her I wanted something real between us, and she told me that she is demiromantic.
This would not have been a big deal to me if something extremely similar had not happened a year ago when my date was asexual. In neither case did they tell me that they weren't interested until I had already invested a lot of my time and being into a relationship with them.
This is still my first experience with demiromanticism though, so what should I do? Should I even try to form that emotional bond that would be necessary for a relationship to exist? | Went on a date with a girl I really like, and she's demiromantic. What do I do? |
t3_33aw5n | relationships | I [27F] was just hired three days ago, for a job that I had previously worked at almost 3 years ago. Job is not the best match for me I want to quit again. | Alright long story short back in 2012, I got a job at a store (we'll call it Blue Store) that was doing their grand opening. I met a lot of people, it was alright. About a three months after getting hired at Blue Store, another job I had applied for accepted my application. I was offered a job ( we'll call it red store) and I took it. I put in my notice at Blue Store only three months after being hired, and went on my merry way.
Fast forward three years later, I'm done with school and I'm looking for some extra work until I can find a full time job. I'm still at Red Store, I start putting some applications out. Blue store calls me up, like hey we remember you!! Come work for us! I took the job last Friday, have been working the past few days. An it's terrible!!! I have 33 hour weeks, from 10pm to 7am. I get off of work and I'm just drained, I can't focus at Red Store because I keep on nodding off.
What's the best way to quit Blue store, with keeping some dignity intact? All the people I knew back in 2012 are still there. Heck, I was interviewed by the same people I was back then.
If this comes off whiney or spoiled, I'm sorry. I just wanted a job to make some extra cash, until I could find a better one. Heck I'm willing to deliver pizzas! | Nervous about quitting the same job again, after only a few days. |
t3_2osm31 | relationships | I [26 M] need advice on how to approach a [? F] at a place I work from. | Hello,
My company took over another company a few months back, and they get me to work here to move their support over to us. When I first came here I met everybody, including this female that I think is pretty and want to get to know better. I have been here about 7 times since I was given the task, and may be a few more times before I stop working out of there.
My question is, do you think it would be wrong to ask a girl I have never met, and am not even co-worker friends with, to hang out some time? I don't feel this is similar to just going up to a random female at a coffee shop, as I know this persons name, talked very minimally, and such.
What should I do? | how to approach new co-worker I only know the name of. |
t3_2szasw | relationships | Me [21 M] with [21 F] girl says she cannot have a relationship because we belong to different religions | I have been into this girl for a very long time and she has been in to me. I felt as though I was getting all the right signals when I told her my feelings for her. But she said no. I was heartbroken for a while. Said some stupid dumb things to her on more then one occasion (like r/cringepics material) but she would always forgive, I know I'm a terrible person. This repeated itself about 5 times, yes I'm an idiot. I got over it, but not really.
But then I got curious again, I asked a mutual friend and told her about my stupid shenanigans and how she would forgive me every time. And she says she likes you. I said you're mistaken she already rejected me. But she urged me to at least ask her why she did. So I though whats the harm lets see what happens. So I talked to her for a good 2 hours and she finally tells me that it is because I am a Muslim and she is a Hindu, and her parents would never accept it. And that if that was not a problem we would be in a relationship. And I lied I was never really over her.
So I have absolutely no Idea how to proceed. I want this relationship to happen but have no idea what to do. I want to somehow convince her that it'll be fine and we'll convince her parents after that but have no idea how to go about that. What should I do? | Girl says we can't have relationship because we belong to different religions and her parents would object. How do I make this work? And what should I do? |
t3_1l53tz | relationships | Update: I'm in love with a guy who parties a lot and doesn't seem 'boyfriend material'. I don't know if I should pursue a relationship with him. (24F 25M) | Post from yesterday:
Semi-Update/Question:
So John is just about the sweetest guy ever :). I decided to just go with everyone's advice and pursue a relationship with him. Last night I called him up again and he stopped by with more comfort food for me (he thought I called him because I was still upset about my family situation). We were cuddling on my couch (something we do quite often) and I felt so safe and cared for. I couldn't help it; I just blurted it out. I told him that I cared about him a lot and I was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him. He immediately told me that he was done with partying non-stop and he promised he would not go clubbing unless I was there with him. We talked for a long time about what a relationship between the two of us would mean and he told me that he was interested in being in a "serious" relationship. I also told him that I wanted to hold off on sex for the time being and he was completely fine with that. We spent the entire night cuddling and kissing each other :)
He's been a complete gentlemen all day today. I had to take off from work to sort out the finance disputes my family is having and he took off from work to help me. I know I should be approaching this conservatively but it's really hard not to get swept off your feet by him. He's so sweet and kind! I'm unbelievably happy! | He's my boyfriend now :) |
t3_4y1lb7 | offmychest | I am a spoilt 21 year old man who lives at home and gets everything for free. | Not really sure where to post this or even what I hope to achieve from posting this but I did want it off my chest.
I've been thinking about it for a while now and comparing myself to other people in my life as well as people online, I realise I have had it way too easy. I have never had to contribute to anything in the house (in terms of money) and anything I want (within reason) I get. Need a new phone, a new laptop, new clothes? No problem, parents pay for it. Need money for anything during college? No problem they transfer money to my bank account right away.
In Ireland, you don't have to pay college fees, so they don't have to contribute there. But everything else from accommodation during the year, groceries, books etc they pay for without thinking twice.
In fact, I try to save money by opting for cheaper food, limiting nights out/meals out and stuff but they actually discourage this behaviour. They always tell me to go out and enjoy and get the best quality food etc.
I remember after I worked a few times over the summer (only because I was bored and didn't have anything else to do), when I suggested giving my parents the money as a sort of contribution for all they have done for me they were completely against it. They told me to go out and spend that money on whatever I like. I was literally like wtf? I even told them they are being too easy on me because I know well how hard life can be for some people but they insist they just want the best for me.
I put it all down to the fact that we weren't always so well off . My dad makes 100k+ now whereas when I was very young (up until I was around 8) we couldn't afford any luxuries such as sweets or toys and I think maybe they feel guilty that they couldn't give me what I wanted when I was younger. | parents give me whatever I want, refuse to let me contribute to the house, encourage me to spend money and enjoy |
t3_n1tko | relationships | reddit! am I being stupid about this or would you guys feels the same? | I'll keep it short :3
I'm 18, he's 18. Dating for 3 years.
When we walk together anywhere, like, say the mall or an amusement park or whatever he is always walking ahead of me. Like, legit ahead of me so that I'm walking completely by myself. Doesn't matter if we're by ourselves or with friends he does this. It kind of bugs me!
When I tell him that it bugs me he gets really upset at me for "making problems over small things". He tells me that he just walks fast. Well, I don't walk particularly slow.. but I can't really walk his pace so he just kind of leaves me behind. He doesn't see any reason why this would upset any girl. We won't compromise and walk my pace because apparently it's painful.
Am I crazy reddit?!
For the extra lazy | My boyfriend walks way faster than me and always leaves me behind. It upsets me and he doesn't see why and also doesn't want to compromise and walk my pace. |
t3_xdkes | relationship_advice | ex-gf's roommate situation | I am very good friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. We dated for just under a year several years ago. In the time since we have hooked-up a few times but never on a consistent basis and never with any hint of reigniting an actual relationship status.
Recently I have become enamored with her friend and .... roommate. This crush is mutual. I know because we have acted upon it; in secret and with no trace of detection. She has even stayed over at my place a couple times. We like each other and really want to be able to date each other to see what could happen.
Our plan was for me to approach the ex and plant a seed that I was interested in the roommate and was considering asking her out but that I wanted to check with her (the ex) first. It didn't go well. At all. She was very upset and basically said it was off the table. The ex cited disrespect and tastelessness.
Now I am a combination of sad and resentful. I was/am super enthused about meeting a girl that I really felt excited about getting to know better! And considering the feelings are mutual - it doubly stings. But since our courtship has been deemed forbidden I am angry with the ex and don't want to really see her at all currently. And the roommate and I don't know what to do but are not willing to carry on a secret relationship as it is way too risky and just plain wrong. We don't want to be liars and the only reason we ever did was to protect feelings. Now we are in a real bind and I don't want to risk not exploring the possibilities of getting to know her.
I should also mention that the roommate has made no admission of feelings towards me to the ex; as far as I know.
I understand what I want is a bit of a dick-ish thing to do and normally I wouldn't be so reckless with a valued friendship but I really have a good feeling about the potential relationship with the roommate. With her I feel things I have rarely felt in life. It feels very natural. | Want to date a good friend/ex-gf's roommate. Ex will not allow. But I am really interested in the roommate and don't want to relent. |
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