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t3_1tk3c8 | relationships | Should I [27F] tell him [30M] that I was a virgin when we started hooking up? | Not sure if this belongs in /r/sex instead, but here it goes:
I met a guy last year through friends, and I was very attracted to him. We drunkenly hooked up one night at a party. I was a virgin. I don't remember exactly how the first time went, because I was (we were both) very intoxicated. When I sobered up a little bit, we proceeded to have sex again that same night, and we've been hooking up casually roughly a year since.
I have dated someone else before, but we only had oral sex but no actual intercourse.
I have developed feelings for this guy I'm hooking up with, and he knows because I've told him few months back. He told me he doesn't want a relationship right now, and I said I understand. Since then, we are still hanging out. We'd watch a movie and get a meal together etc, before sex.
My question is, should I tell him I was a virgin when we started having sex? I haven't because I don't want him to think of it as a manipulation tactic to pressure him to date me, and it really isn't. If he doesn't want a relationship, this isn't going to change how he feels. On the other hand, I feel like I should be honest about it. I almost feel like I'm hiding something not disclosing this information? The topic never came up between us of course. I know he wasn't a virgin, and maybe he just assumed I wasn't either. I don't really know how guys feel about virgins, would you want to know? Do you care? | I was a virgin when I started hooking up with this guy. I don't think he knows. Should I tell him or should I keep it to myself? |
t3_2tb2u5 | tifu | TIFU by cooking real food for the first time. | This happened last night and I won't be living this down for a while. I'm a 26 year old male who has always found a reason to not cook. mililtary? shitty food is made for you. college? shittier food is made for you. Adult life? time to cook or get fat.
I think of myself as pretty smart, maybe too smart. I mean as long as i follow instructions how hard could cooking be? Beef Stew looked so easy! I was confident too, fuck using a crock pot i'm gonna make it the old school way with flavors and shit! I even invited parents over to come enjoy with me.
I go to the store grabbing all the ingredients for the recipe i was using. It called for 7 cloves of garlic. Wow that sounds like alot? let me check another recipe, oh ok this other garlic lovers recipe calls for 12 cloves, i guess 7 is normal.
I buy 7 "cloves" of garlic. Get home start cooking, i spent like 30 minutes cutting the cloves. Fuck cutting i need a chop ninja, hands are like fly paper. Doing all the awesome shit, searing meat? I am iron chef. God damn my house smells like garlic wtf, first world master chef problems whatever. dump it all in a pot and follow recipe.
As i take the finished stew out It starts to hit me...WOW this is powerful. Wait a second...Why did the guy in that video only cut this tiny wedge of garlic. Oh. Oh shit. I put 7 BULBS (i think thats what they are called idk) of garlic in this dish. That's like 60 cloves of garlic. Fuck. Mom could not stop laughing, dad was all " well fuck it lets just order pizza, i half expected this to happen". | My home will be vampire free for the next 6 months. |
t3_e2gj8 | relationships | Cute girl from Luxembourg in my class/Getting her number. | So I'm currently partway through a year abroad in the UK (I'm American) and one of my classes is a study of recent US foreign policy. It's one of the most brutally honest looks at recent US History, and I always feel like I'm getting a few weird looks being the only Yank in the class (particularly when something unflattering is mentioned).
This past week, a fire alarm goes off in class, and as we stand outside, this beautiful girl who was sat on the other side of the room comes over and strikes up a conversation with me. I notice she also has an American accent, though says she hails from Luxembourg (spent time in the States when she was little). For the short time we talked, we *absolutely* hit it off, but I choked and forgot to ask for her number!
We don't have class this next week, so two weeks will have passed by the time I see her/communicate with her next. I really want to get her number and find a way to start seeing her outside of class, but I don't want to come off as being overly desperate.
Any suggestions? | American abroad, meets cute Luxembourgian, fails to ask for number, doesn't see her for two weeks, what does he do? |
t3_1xc98q | relationships | Something my (25F) fiancé (26M) said about infidelity bothers me. | My fiancé seems to have no problems with the idea of me cheating on him, no matter the circumstance, and it bothers me because if he cheated on me I'd be devastated, and I sort of expected him to feel the same. He's said multiple times that he would forgive me on the spot if I ever cheated and that he would trust me no matter what, as soon as I apologized.
Earlier today we got on the topic of infidelity when we were watching a TV show about people who were unable to have frequent sex due to medical issues, and he said that if we ever ended up in that situation, he'd be okay if I cheated as long as I still came home to him every night. I told him that I found the idea of stepping out on him while still coming home to him at night disgusting, and that I'd be disgusted with myself for doing it. I think it would be an incredibly selfish thing to do, especially in the event he was having medical issues. He responded with saying he'd fully expect it and wouldn't be surprised if I did.
His nonchalant attitude on the subject kind of makes me worried about his own morals in regards to fidelity. If I ever have a medical problem that prevents us from having sex regularly, his first thought seems to be to step outside the marriage to fulfill those needs. He's never been cheated on before (to his knowledge), while I have, so maybe this is why he feels he would be so unaffected by it.
The whole thing just bothers me, but he doesn't seem to find anything wrong with it, and to be honest a part of me is a little hurt by the fact he wouldn't care if I cheated on him. To the married men of reddit, what do you think of this? Wouldn't you find your wife repulsive if she did the above? Maybe I'm reading too far into this, but I'm a little worried that this could be a red flag for someone who could eventually ask for an open marriage, which is something I know I never want to do. I would never be able to give him this without destroying the love I have for him. | Fiance doesn't care if I cheat on him, and it really bothers me. Potential red flag for someone who could eventually want an open marriage? |
t3_1hwfnd | relationships | How can I [17M] help my girlfriend [17F] deal with sexual abuse from her father? I'm confused. | Honestly, I just want to understand. She told me today on the phone after an hour long conversation about what she's been dealing with, and I just listened.
She didn't want to say it outright, so she instead told me it's just like what happened between Charlie and his aunt in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. I haven't read it, and I've only just started reading, but maybe that helps you understand. She's not really sure when or how it started, but it was around the time she was 13, so about four years ago.
She talked to her older brother about it first, and a week ago, they confronted their parents. It's been very rough since. Their mother 'just didn't get it' and was apparently no help at all. None of them are really talking to one another, and it's very awkward in the house.
She asked that I not judge her father, because her father does love her very much, and she loves her father as well. She said her father 'didn't know', and that when they confronted him, he was confused about it.
Apparently, the night before they confronted their parents, she fell asleep on her parents bed, and her father 'did it then'.
I don't really know what I'm asking for here, and I know I didn't give nearly enough detail, so feel free to ask questions and I'll give more details as I can. I guess that, as a sheltered kid, I was more shocked than anything. I know not to overly intrude on her family, and of course, I'll never tell her what to do or offer unnecessary advice. I'll just listen and comfort her as I can.
I just really want to understand exactly what it means. How does something like that happen, and for so long? How did she not know, or if she did, why didn't it worry her before? How did her father 'not know'?
I know I probably seem immature for not understanding, so I'd love any perspective at all. Thanks! | Girlfriend was sexually abused by her father and I don't really understand what this means. |
t3_31k7ez | tifu | TIFU by playing a video game and puking on my mom's slippers. | This actually happened today.
I got a copy of Saints Row IV some time ago. I thought it looked like fun, and made an idiotic mistake of not googling it. I really should have done that since I am extremely motion sickness-prone.
So, here I am, enjoying the first thirty minutes this afternoon. At some point between then and the hour mark, I start having a minor headache. I ignore it since I'm like "This game is too much fun! I'll play for another ten minutes!" Then, the ten minutes turned into thirty. Before I knew it, I started feeling kind of sick. At that point, I saved and quit the game. I decide to make my way upstairs and get some mint tea. My mom is in the kitchen, pouring herself a cup.
"Unheroic, you look green."
"I'm not feeling too good. Can you get me some tea, please?"
"Sure thing." She proceeds to pour me some. At that point, I'm really nauseous.
So, she hands me a cup. I thank her, and struggle to hold on to my lunch. I am not strong enough. The next thing I know is that she's staring at me in shock. There's bile on the floor and my mom's favorite slippers. She's staring at me in the "WTF just happened are you okay did you catch a stomach virus???" way. | google your video games before purchase. Save your mom's slippers. |
t3_3vgr7a | relationships | My [26 M] sister [42 F] has turned into a full-blown functioning alcoholic and is putting her new born baby's life at risk | Hoping for an olive branch here. Essentially, my sister used to have a great life. She was married to good-looking successful designer, lived in a beautiful home in a hip neighborhood, and was an up and coming entrepreneur running a successful company with her best friend.
A destroyed friendship, years of legal battles over her company, and some casual drug use with her husband that our family believes got out of control has led her to marrying a guy she knew from high school, having a kid, and moving from a big city to a small town in Florida (a trigger in its own right maybe).
Long story short, she now drinks hard alcohol daily. She sneaks vodka around in a water bottle while she's at work as a pharma rep. She was drunk at a family wake. She had a water bottle of vodka when picking up my mom at the airport with the baby in the back. Her husband is ex-military and also likes to booze, and lives in a smaller city so her network is not ideal.
Just wondering if there are any "life hacks" (not shortcuts, I know anything will be work) to try out in this situation. Only because I feel that she won't respond to a suggestion for counseling and doesn't have the network to see make sure she sees it through. | Sister is an alcoholic and lives far away with an enabling husband and newborn. |
t3_kljgz | relationship_advice | Want to satisfy my fetish for fake boobs but hard to bring it up... | I am a very skinny guy (BMI maybe 18 tops), pretty aggressive/dominate personality so I like to not be the smaller weaker person thus I like skinny women. I also like big boobs as many men do. This all lead to a major fetish for big fake boobs.
There are several issues with this. One is the common assertion by everyone in public that men don't really like fake boobs, clearly money tells a different story in the pornography industry there is hardly a girl who doesn't have them, and men select what is produced with money. So there is this social pressure from other men and women that is is wrong to like fake boobs.
Second, there is a medical issue. It is dangerous to the women's heath. For me this is a real ethical issue. I would therefore never push very hard to have her get fake boobs, I would never forgive myself if I felt I was responsible for a medical problem/suffering of someone I cared about (or even someone I didn't care about).
However, I still like fake boobs, just knowing they are fake is a turn on. The trouble on the whole with sexual matters is that I find them impossible to bring up early on in a relationship without alienating the person.
So I guess the question is two fold: how to bring up sexual compatibility very early in a relationship without being offensive, and specifically how to find women who like things like fake boobs without them either having horrible self esteem issues or being involved in sex industry, or risky sexual behaviors. | and all... Sorry I bothered, anyone who thinks I have a fucked up view of women is totally missing my complete respect for the women's health and the ethical issue I point out my fetish posses. In sum you haven't bothered to even try to understand... |
t3_12v7u6 | relationship_advice | I [26/m] have been dating this girl [28/f] for about 6 months. We are very happy being together and also both respect each other's independence. But recently, it feels like we are drifting apart. Re-spark the flame, or end it? | It's never good to lose yourself completely in a relationship, right? So how much should we be involved in each other's lives? We both love spending time together but agreed that spending time apart is just as important. But when does spending time apart become a sign of disinterest? Is it abnormal to not want to talk/be with each other all the time? Do we just not like each other enough? Is it just the end of a the honeymoon phase?
Maybe this is just my brain is just drifting into paranoia. If this style works for us, then maybe I shouldn't question it...
Not really looking for an answer here, more for discussion/experiences you've had...
Thanks! | [26/m] dating [28/f] for 6 months, both highly independent, not sure if it means we're just comfortable with each other, drifting apart, or this is just how it's going to be. any simliar stories/experiences? |
t3_1ioucu | relationships | Me[18M] with my girlfriend [18M/F], how do I stop being a nervous wreck | I am insecure.
My girl never gave me a reason to distrust her but I have these suspicions. I mean, if you ask me "Would your girlfriend cheat on you?" Logically speaking, I have no reason to distrust her. But emotionally, I check on her social media sites very frequently and upon seeing something I don't like (Her liking photos of guys, her arranging to hang out with guy friends, etc. but nothing out of the ordinary), I just become a pile of dust.
Our relationship is very healthy and we both care about each other a lot. Been together for 5 months and still very much in that "Honeymoon phase." Other than this one-sided poison that is hurting me.
She is so beautiful and so lovely that I sometimes put her on a pedestal and I sometimes have a hard time with putting too much of my happiness into her. She's a nice and sweet girl, and gorgeous and I mean it. I have a fear in losing her.
I really want to be that laid back guy that she won't come to resent. I want to be cool with her hanging out with other guys, but I'm really **not**. I want to be ok with things, I don't want to hold her back, and I *don't* take steps in controlling her, but it still kills me inside. And it is really tough, sometimes it gets to the point where I feel that I am too immature for a relationship and its *hard*. But I know that she is worth it, and I really want to give it my all. | Me with girlfriend of 5 months (dating for almost a year), I want to be that super cool boyfriend so that we will last. But despite my yearning for being the ideal boyfriend, I know that if she were to hang out with a guy 1 on 1, I would be crushed and a nervous wreck. |
t3_35knrb | relationships | [Petty High School Shit] Scared of going for someone? | I [18M] just had prom this past weekend and it was amazing. I got asked to prom by a girl [17F] I've known for about a year but I never really talked to that much until that night. And (I think) we really hit it off. Like she's very pretty, shares the same interests as me (She plays LoL), really smart, and I feel good when I'm with her and all that cheesy bullshit. But I'm hesitant in trying to take things further as really experienced in relationships and girls and stuff. My last and only other relationship was freshman year where I was really good friends with a girl, and I was pressured by my friends to ask her out. I really forced it and it ended badly after half a year. I really like this girl but I don't want a repeat of my first relationship and to lose a
good friend if it goes sour. Both relationships are really similar as they involve girls actually talking to me and girls where our older siblings were involved in the past. I don't know if that matters but it's kinda bugging me. I'm don't know if this is the right sub for this, but yeah. Thanks in advance! | I'm don't wanna lose an awesome girl as a friend, but she's really awesome and I don't wanna miss this opportunity. |
t3_1u4nov | relationships | I need advice on beginning (possibly) a long distance relationship. [23M][22F] | Hey reddit,
I [23M] recently embarked on a road trip from the Chicago area to New Orleans last weekend with my best two friends from college (who are dating) and a few of the lady's friends. Instantly, I was attracted to one of them (the best friend of my buddy's gf)[22F].
We have so much more in common than I would with most people; our personalities played off one another, we have the same tastes in music and videogames, consistent political and philosophical beliefs. From only having known her for a few days,I hope I'm not crazy in saying she's as close to my dream girl as I think I could come.
I confessed to her after we got back that I had feelings for her and she reciprocated and agreed to go on a date to see where things could lead from there. The distance between us is moderate (200 miles, 3 hours in the car) From her hometown, it's 105 miles. I should add that I'm a recent college graduate trying to move from Indiana to Chicago and she's a college senior a few counties from the city. I don't know what her post graduation plans are, but I suppose we could talk about that on the first date. I should add I have a disposable income insofar as gasoline goes and I have a great work schedule where no weekends are required.
Do you have any good advice for establishing a LTR? I know it's far from ideal, but I really do like her and I could see us going further than a few dates. I ask because I've heard she tried a LTR this past summer and it didn't work out (details unknown, don't know what the breaking factors were).
thanks for being in on New Years' thought it's still early. Stay safe pls. | Need help/advice in possibly beginning an LTR. |
t3_13k20h | relationships | Confused guy [17] invited over to a girl's [17] house to watch movies. | I had this huge crush on one of my good friends for the longest time, and eventually got the courage to ask her out about a year ago. She politely told me that she wasn't interested in or ready for a relationship.
Our interactions and communications started to dwindle after that, and we got to the point where we only talked maybe once a month if that.
I had gotten over my feelings for her, and have now moved on and have decided on not having any relationship until I am in college.
Now about a year and a half later, out of nowhere she asked if I wanted to come over to her house and watch some movies with her and her family. Confused and not prepared, I came up with an excuse to not go that night and apologized and said maybe a different day. She then called me the next day wondering if I could go that night, and this time I legitimately could not go and profusely apologized. She said it was fine, but sounded a bit sad. I felt like an asshole, so I decided to make it up to her and texted her a couple hours later saying I could go on Wednesday.
I am really confused as to what is going on. I just feel like its going to be really awkward, because her parents and sister are also going to be there.
I just felt like getting that out there, and am looking for an outside opinion. | I got over an old crush, and now she is inviting me to her house to watch movies. |
t3_4y0u02 | relationships | I'm [32M] worried she [28F] wants something I can't give. | Hello all, thanks for any advice you can give. I dated a girl in college who became my cliche 'crazy ex' because she was going through a tough time when we dated and I bailed because ain't nobody got time for that.
Since then, I think I've become her 'fish that got away', she calls me once every few years and starts talking about how we should be dating etc. For me this is simply a non-starter, she is way too highstrung and I can't forget the shouting matches and irrational behavior. There are long-distance issues as well. There is a physical attraction, but I just can't even imagine dating her long-term.
Last time she called me (two years ago like clockwork), I thought it would be fun to hang out again, but sure enough, before we even meet, the long phone calls and 'we should have been dating this whole time' talk restarted, so I told her I didn't think it would be a good idea to meet again. Cue 40 texts about how she's always loved me.
Here we are again, she wants to hang out, presumably because she just cycled through another string of boyfriends and I'm part of that cycle now. I'm just conflicted about it because I haven't been with a girl in... forever... but I really don't want to go down the road again where she wants something that I can't give her. In my mind the way it works out is we talk about old times, have some classy drinks and be adults. In her mind... well, I don't know, but I'm sure it involves an emotional outpouring from me and instant exclusive dating.
I really hate the slimy feeling that I might be taking advantage of her emotionally, but at the same time, I think it's disingenuous for me to protect her feelings when god only knows what shes thinking. I feel like I'm an emotional asshole or a paternalistic asshole...not great. | If the emotional spark just isn't there, how do I set clear boundaries? |
t3_1ah78x | relationships | [F20] has boyfriend [M21] has a bad situation... | I'll try to keep this short.
My boyfriend got irrationally jealous one night when a gay mutual friend asked me to have lunch and rather than talking to me, told me that he wanted to see his roommate's girlfriend naked. He knew that would hurt.
Now, about 5 months later, we've pretty much recovered for it, but it still hurts. But there's a new situation that I just found out about.
The girlfriend frequently sleeps over in my boyfriend and his roommate's room and wears very skimpy lingerie to bed. I didn't find out about this until I was in the room when she was getting ready for bed.
I feel very uncomfortable about the situation but I have no idea what I can do...seriously need some advice. | boyfriend makes nasty comment about roommate's girlfriend, then I find out that she's sleeping over and wearing lingerie to bed. Feel uncomfortable, don't know what to do. |
t3_3tiozw | loseit | Looking for general info for healthy weight loss | Hi /r/loseit! I need a little advice for weight loss. I am a 21 year old female, 5'3". CW: 145ish GW:130. I gained around 15 pounds over the course of the year due to bad diet, vacation, and surgery. I am hoping to get back to my original weight and maybe lose even more.
My understanding is that my BMR is 1483.15. Using the Harris Benedict Equation I could maintain this weight by consuming 2298 calories per day. For about two weeks (this is the third) I have consumed roughly 1100-1400 calories a day, but on average staying under 1200 calories. I generally only go over 1200 when I work out harder that day. I am wondering if this is too much of a calorie deficit or if I am on track.
I currently run at least one to three miles five days a week and ride my horse at least four. That is coupled with walking all over my college campus. I am preparing for a 5K, so if anyone has tips on successfully completing one, I would appreciate them!
I love reading everyone's success stories on here and hope that I can be one! | Worried about a calorie deficit and prepping for a 5K |
t3_1kjlg2 | relationships | I[21F] moved back in with my parents [45M and 43F] 5 months ago due to illness and now my mother won't let me leave. | I'm 21 years old and lived away from home for about 2 years for college and while I was working. I suffer from OCD and had a very bad spell and decided it would be best to move home to my parents for a little while until I got back on my feet.
At the moment I am the only person in my household with a job. I give my mother approx. quarter of my wages and she also takes my bank card on occasion when I'm sleeping ( I work mainly night shifts). I also have to give my dad a few bob every week.
My parents have a lot of issues at the moment and I find I am the only one either of them can talk to. They also have massive rows and I have to act as mediator.
It has been suggested to me by friends even before I did it, that it was a stupid move coming home both for my mental health and my pocket. I really feel I need to leave but any time I mention it my mother gets upset and begs me to stay a little while longer. She reckons she can't live in the house without me. I don't know what I should do. Should I be the dutiful daughter and stay, or leave and let what happens happen. | I want to leave home but my mother makes me feel incredibly guilty. |
t3_1rcfwt | AskReddit | Dear Reddit. What's your most outrageous gambling anecdote? Go on take me on your journey of the highs and lows. | I am not much of a writer but I remember this one with fond memories so i will give it a go. Less of a gamble and more of a bet.
Me and a friend had gone on holiday together in Thailand and being in our early 20's at the time we were staying on Khao Sarn road (a busy street full of back packers and vendors bars, ect ect.) we had been out for a day taking in the sights and it was time to get back to the hostel. The traffic was horrendous as if usual in Bangkok, so rather sit in a cab we decided we would find a couple of motorbike taxi scooters.
These guys hang around on most streets and are easy to find. We tried to explain to the guys where we want to go and we want to get there fast. Tip for the driver who got to the destination first. The guys got the idea of what we wanted to do and seemed up for it. I remember my driver ushering me onto his bike as quickly as he could and then it began a 20 min long mental ride through the main roads and back streets of BKK the drivers were great and getting in on the fun one was turning the others ignition off at traffic lights my friend kept on twisting the mirror on my drivers bike so he had to correct it I remember it didn't really feel that dangerous but quite exciting and unlike anything i had done before.
When we finally arrived at the street the deal was first to get to the bar at the hotel and order a drink wins my friend got off his bike first whipped his helmet off and payed the guy while i was fumbling around getting my wallet out and watching him hobble off (he also had some crutches) I thought it would be fine and catch up with him as i was fully able bodied. It was only after sprinting off about 30m after him i realised I still had my helmet on and that's what cost me the bet. By the time I had returned the helmet and got to the bar my friend was sat there chugging a cold one. | Had a motorbike taxi race in Bangkok. |
t3_3m0opc | relationships | [Dating] Me [21 M] with my Friend [20 F] 1.8 years, Mixed feelings about a decision she made, want reassurance I made the right decision | First and foremost, I am not a regular Reddit user, secondly, I am unsure of proper flair or how to use it, so I just put it in brackets in the title that best fit the topic.
My friend and I have known each other for 1.8 years or so. We have played with the idea of having a relationship for quite some time. Some people might even say that we were all ready dating as we participated in a lot of activities together.
However, we have never extended our friendship past just that, so there are no sexual ties, nor are there any PDA.
Tonight I was going to pop the question as everything finally came to line that I needed to happen for me to do so. (It is really important to me, that when dating, not only can I support myself, I should also be in a position to support my partner as well. This has only just become a possibility for me after a nice raise)
She sent me a text shortly before I was going to pop the q saying that she needed to tell me something. She turns out, there was quite a long pause between that and the next message in which she disclosed that she has started a new relationship.
Being the guy I am however, I told her that I, despite being a little disappointed, that I was happy for her and hoped that her and her newfound partner would find success in their future. She then took a second very long pause before saying thank you, and that she was happy I felt that way.
My question is, despite my actual feeling of distraught. Was I in the right for holding back the extent of the fact and wishing good fortune for their relationship for the better? | Friend and I nearly get together after 1.8 years, was going to pop the question today, but she tells me she is in a new relationship as of today. Instead of saying exactly how upset I was by the fact, I say I was a little dissapointed but wished them the best in their future. Was this the best call? |
t3_3jntcb | relationships | Me [30/F] with my Sister In Law [28/F] of 5 years, no communication but I'm her matron of honor?? | My sister in law recently asked me to be her matron of honor. While I'm delighted to participate and honored, this came kind of out of the blue because, even though I've known her for almost 10 years (and been married to her brother for 5 of those years) I feel like I don't really know her. She is shy and quiet and never really opened up to me about anything. I'm an extrovert and very outgoing but she is quite reserved and will sometimes go an entire visit without saying anything to me.
The wedding is approaching (in early November) and I've offered to do bachelorette party stuff, not heard back. I have questions about not just if/what she wants for bachelorette but also who else is in the bridal party, what we are wearing, what I can do to help, etc.
I started drafting an email to her to ask these questions and then I realized I don't even have her email address. I have her cell but she rarely communicates with me. A few weeks ago, her mom (my mother in law) had texted to see if I was available to meet so we could shop for fabric for the wedding but I was busy with work and put it off… and now I'm realizing all communication has either come directly from her mom or been because I poked her. Like when she asked me to be her MOH? My mother in law was sitting right there next to her.
How should I approach this? I feel weird already and don't want her to feel like I'm being nosey or bugging her, but I feel really out of the loop for a wedding that is happening in 2 months. I've felt more involved in weddings I was just in the House Party for! | My sister in law wants me to be her matron of honor but doesn't actually talk directly to me. How do I address this in a gentle way? |
t3_2b3l5h | relationships | Me (22m) need help with the girl I like (20f) | So I really really like this girl, but she has an overprotective piece of shit boyfriend, they're always fighting. I'm sure she has some feelings for me. We used to be really cool back in the day, but we stopped talking cause she got a boyfriend.
Not long ago on my birthday she txted me to congratulate me. We started texting, but at the end I think I fucked up by texting her "I mis talking to you" I think I went to hard by saying that out of no where. cause after I said that she didn't replied! It has been almost a week since that. I got pretty upset and mad at myself for not thinking of other things to say. (I really wanted to keep the conversation going on, but I froze and didn't know what to say)
I really want to txt her back, but I don't want to sound annoying or thirsty. | What should I do? Should I let it go and hope she texts me back again? Or should I txt her? |
t3_51rc8h | relationships | It's finally over [20F/22M] | I've been posting here for the last few days. I deleted most of the posts (afraid of exposure), but here's the thing. The guy I've loved for the last year moved to France to study abroad for a year and we initially broke up because I wanted him to enjoy his life there and I felt like he wanted it too. We started by trying to be friends for a week, but we just didn't change anything. It felt like we were together and nothing had changed.
Obviously that didn't work out and I just eventually told him I needed a decision (he is just really bad at decisions).
That conversation turned out to be nothing, but today at 6am (my time at least) we started talking and he finally said he didn't felt the same about me.
I was really thinking we only had broke up so we didn't have to deal with a LDR.
But then he tells me he's just not in love with me anymore.
That he liked me and loved me but is just not in love with me anymore.
I didn't even UNDERSTAND how can this happen. I know I can't make someone have feelings for me and such but it just hurts so bad I don't know what to do.
At least I know now that it's gonna hurt only for a few weeks or month and that I should move on and stuff. But I'm not sure how I can do that. How can someone just stop being in love with someone? | ex boyfriend says he just stopped being in love with me and I don't understand how can this happen |
t3_ia25o | AskReddit | Thinking about buying a Wii. Help? | My husband and I are expecting our first baby in October, as well as buying our first home next month. Needless to say, we are trying to be extremely frugal. We've both been mentioning for at least a year that we'd like to get a Wii. I am aware that the Wii is fairly outdated and considered to be a "children's toy." We are avid PC gamers and have never really had any interest in console gaming, but we also have a mutual love for Mario. Basically, we'd only be buying a Wii in order to play New Super Mario Bros. Wii, which seems like a waste, especially right now. I thought I'd buy one as a nice surprise that isn't baby or house related, since we've been under a heavy amount of stress lately. I've been looking into buying a used or refurbished console. Any suggestions as to where to look or if it's worth taking the chance for? | Need suggestions on the most economical yet reliable way to purchase a Wii, new or used/refurbished. |
t3_4zg1u6 | relationships | Am I too sensitive about what happened during our breakup? (23F/23M) | To make a long story short, my girl of five years and I broke up about two months ago. We spent a month apart but she started texting me again and we were talking. One day I asked to go over and she said yes, she told me she had hooked up with two other people and then we hooked up.
The next day I told her I still loved her and she said we could only be friends, I responded I could not be her friend and gave her time to think and after a day she agreed to give our relationship another shot.
I have been very jealous thinking of the two other guys she hooked up with, before this I was her first and only partner, and I feel like if she really loved me she would not have been with anyone else so fast. I wasn't with anyone and I did not have any interest. I just stayed busy with school/work.
She gave me her phone and tavlet password so I could help my jealousy, I was paranoid she was still seeing someone behind my back. I ended up going into her phone and getting the number of one of the guys she slept with and calling him, he confirmed what she had told me and then I told her what I had done. She was very upset I had done this and later she told me he had called to tell her about what had happened and she had answered and they talked and she apologized.
Since then we have been okay but at the same time I am still consumed by these thoughts, now I know she hasn't lied about what she did I just picture her doing thigs with other guys while we are together.
I love her and want to be with her but I'm not sure if she really loves me or is just with me for convenience or because she's bored. I dont see how she could love me yet move on so fast. How do I get over it or is she really not into me? | My girlfriend hooked up with two others while we were broken up for a month and I dont know what that means |
t3_n2hb3 | relationships | Have you ever broken up someone else's relationship to be with that person? Did it end well or badly? | F 28. Have been in a relationship with M 33 for 2 years.
I have been pursued quite persistently by another man for the last year, despite knowing that I have a bf. When he first found out I had a bf, he agreed to be just friends - we have a lot in common. He was mostly respectful of the boundaries of our friendship (but occasionally let slip his desire to be something more). He also dated other women casually during this time.
I thought that as time went by and we grew as friends, he will lose interest. However, this doesn't seem to have happened. Lately, he has been more expressive of his feelings for me. He is convinced that we have great potential as a couple.
I'm confused as I think I'm starting to develop feelings for him too. I am however very doubtful that a relationship that caused the direct breakup of another will last. | have you broken up someone else's relationship to be with that person? If so, did it end well or badly? |
t3_jjsuu | relationships | My friend cheated on her boyfriend and is now asking me for advice... What should I say? | I think this is the appropriate subreddit for this... If not, my apologies and please direct me where to go!
My friend (22) has been dating her current boyfriend (22) about 4 years and things have been going well and they were happy together. She spent the past summer away from home without much contact with family/friends. She met a guy who instantly took a liking to her, but she explained that has a boyfriend whom she loves and couldn't do anything with him. They became friends and for a while, she resisted his advances, but eventually, the temptation became too great to bear and she slept with him. After realizing she was not as upset as she thought she would be about this, she did it again and it continued for most of the summer. It started off as mostly a physical thing, but she has developed some feelings for the other guy. Meanwhile, she is still with her boyfriend who has no idea. She told me that she still loves him and I think she wants to make it work. But she is reluctant to cut off ties with the other guy. I guess just as a 'just in case' and I think she has become a bit attached to him. To me, it seems as if she is in two relationships.
When I asked why she thought she cheated, she said that perhaps it is because she has been too dependent on her boyfriend and that it's become maybe too comfortable. It seems like she wants something new and exciting in her life. She recently got off birth control and her sex drive came back while she was away, too.
She is confused and doesn't know what to do. Has anyone been in this situation before? What should I tell her?
(I'm in a relationship myself, but it's not long term and prior to this, I haven't had any relationship experience so I am not sure how to go about this. She's one of my best friends so I am trying hard to give her the best and most feasible/practical advice.)
Thanks in advance! | Friend cheated on her long-term boyfriend of 4 years. Seems to like/want both guys. Asked me for advice. Clueless as to what to say since I am a relationship noob! |
t3_1qkgg8 | relationships | Me [27F] with boyfriend [28m] of a year: How do I be supportive of his hobbies without lying? | My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now and just moved in with each other. Our relationship is great but moving in together has definitely been a big change. We both have our own hobbies and one of his happens to be playing guitar/singing.
Since moving in together, he's been showing me more and more of the songs he's been working on. I don't like most them, but I haven't told him this. I've been trying to only focus on positive things that I can say about his songs and have not said anything negative thus far. Examples: I like the guitar in that part, that's a really creative story, etc etc.
Honestly though, I don't like his songs. I don't enjoy theatrical songs, and I think his songs are a bit creepy/depressing. He keeps sharing these songs with me, and I feel like I'm walking a very thin line between trying to be neutral (by only pointing out specific things I do like) and having to tell a white lie so that I don't hurt his feelings. I can objectively say that he is a talented singer, but all his songs are in the same key and it's starting to get irritating that he wants my input. I'm of the belief that if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say it. But I feel like I'm being backed into a corner whenever he asks me my opinion. It probably doesn't help that we have completely different tastes in music, and I would never listen to the kind of music he listens to/makes on my own.
Soooo, help! How can I be still be a supportive of him without saying something I'm uncomfortable with or lying? | My boyfriend likes to share music he writes with me. I rarely enjoy the music he makes. How do I be supportive of this hobby without lying about whether or not I think his music is good? |
t3_4apsbx | tifu | TIFU by watering a plant | My parents are out of town for a few days and asked me to take care of their plants while they're gone.
I'm no botanist, but I understand the mechanics of pouring water from one vessel into another so I was feeling pretty confident. I walked into their house, set my keys and phone down next to a plant on the counter and filled the watering can. They have like 20 plants, so I had to refill the watering can several times to get them all. *No problem, I've got this.*
About halfway into watering, on my second refill, I hear a steady *drip, drip drip* coming from behind me in the kitchen. I must've overfilled one of the pots... *no big deal, I'll wipe it up later.*
When I came back to fill the can a third time I was greeted by a large puddle on the kitchen floor and a larger one on the counter. And waving at me from the middle of Lake OhgodwhathaveIdone was my phone....
While I still don't know the exact number of plants my parents have there are two things that I can say with certainty: 1) they own one *fake* plant and 2) florist's foam doesn't absorb water half as well as you'd expect. | Didn't notice I watered a fake plant and drowned my phone. |
t3_4egjfp | tifu | TIFU by having a broken phone and a brother | So this actually happened this morning. But first, a little background information.
To say that my phone screen is shattered is an understatement. It's finger-cutting bad. And because of that, sometimes it takes a mind of its own and hits buttons that I don't want it to hit and won't stop until I turn the phone off.
I also have an older brother who I am not close to at all. We don't share secrets, we don't help each other out of tight spots; we just don't have the typical sibling bonding.
Today, I was on Tinder, wasting time, when I see non other than my brother. And what does my phone do as soon as I see him? It super likes him! It doesn't just swipe right, but it SUPER LIKED him which means he will for sure see that I did that.
In addition, I have a semi-slutty bio just to be funny. And it IS funny, except when my own brother sees it.
I think I'm giving up Tinder. | I accidentally liked my own brother on Tinder |
t3_2lhs9t | relationships | I (21M) am ending a 3 year relationshio w/ my (19F) girlfriend tonight , need advice . | The title says it all , I am ending my three year relationship with my girlfriend tonight. This decision has not come easily , but I feel it has to be done. I dont see my self marrying her , and I feel as if I am wasting her time . She loves me very much and has always been there for me.
I feel terrible about breaking her heart , and dont know how to approach it. I will be going to her house tonight and basically saying I feel like im leading her on as i wont be the one to put a ring on her finger. She is gorgeous and nothing wrong with her , but for my own reasons it has to end.
How should I go about this ? She wants me to stay the night, and part of me wants to cuddle with her one last Night , and break up with her in the morning. I dont know if this is cruel or not , as I want to end it on good terms. She will be devastated either way , and I will implement the no contact for both of our sakes. | am ending a 3 year relationship tonight , need advice on how to do it gently. Advice is appreciated . |
t3_4mac5o | relationships | I just applied to transfer to a school of my choice but my family is stressing the fuck out of me about it [18m] | just on saturday i applied to university after spending a near pointless year at a community college . The School i plan to go to has Everything i want in a school (small classes, interesting people ,goddamn boxing club and a chance to leave my hometown for a change ) and has an admission requirement of a 2.0 gpa for the program i want to attend and i have a gpa of 2.64 which is above the requirement.
but my family keeps saying that is what a bad choice and keep saying "what if you dont get in your screwed" and its been getting to me . | family is making anxious about my university application and its getting to me . |
t3_2ytod7 | relationships | My exgirlfriend [18 F] broke up with me[19 M] (6 months), Want to get over it, but I don't know how to find someone with the qualities that I want without spending a ton of time learning who people are. | She was the first person who I truly opened up. I let myself go and fell into her deeply and she did the same. The day before valentines day she was apparently meeting up with her exboyfriend to give him back his promise ring, but in doing so she says that she was flooded with feelings for him again.
This was devastating to me. She stated (and still says) that she would not act upon it such as dating him again, but she feels that she can't be with me while having feelings for him. Long story short and tons of heartbreak later, here I am. She had every quality I could want; she was physically and mentally my dream girl. I know now that she is toxic and probably never felt the same from the beginning, so I would like to find someone who is like that as well, but I just don't know how to go about it. She was really unique, and not like the other girls in my location. | Girl I fell deeply in love with broke up with me over feelings she still has for her ex boyfriend. I want to get over her and find someone new, but it's difficult because she matched all the qualities I was looking for. |
t3_12i1fq | AskReddit | For the last 5 years it has been my dream to thru hike the Appalachian Trail, and this April its finally going to happen. Reddit, what are your dreams? Or how have they come true? | Since my Sophomore year in High School I've wanted to pack up my gear and take to the woods for an extended journey from Springer Mountain, Georgia to Mt. Katahdin, Maine. Its about a 2,200 mile journey that can take place in anywhere from 3-7 months with everything you need right on your back. Call me crazy, but this is my ideal bliss, and I've been working for the last year to raise money for my trip. I'm funding myself entirely from working various jobs from internships, to snow shoveling and lawn mowing, whatever it takes; Thus far, I've raised approximately $5,000 with only a few hundred left to collect before this coming April. With the resources in place, I will be using the winter to plan the nitty-gritty details of my trip (even though all plans are guaranteed to fall apart in one way or another) and will be leaving the first week of April to start my adventure north bound to Maine. | I've wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail for years, and after a lot of hard work I finally will this April! |
t3_2puglt | relationships | Why are games more important? | Let me start of by saying I know that my partner 25(m) cares about me 27 (f) however I feel like he doesn't enjoy spending time with me and our 2 children. He seems to get more enjoyment out of a computer game than anything else. We have argued over how many hours he waste playing games countless times in our 6 year relationship. First comes denial, followed promptly my anger, classic signs of addiction. Nothing changes and I still feel second best to gaming (myself and our children) I have tried a variety of tactics, being friendly, nagging, explaining, understanding, joining in to spend time with him and even ultimatums. If he is not playing then he is spending his time on gaming forums.He always starts with the best intentions, things change, I think the longest he kept his computer off for was 2 weeks. Then he starts playing again saying he will control his playing and it's right back to square one. It's the first thing he does when he gets up (turns the computer on and makes up some excuse why if I questioned him ) our 5 year old son when he isn't even in the room with his dad says " daddy's down stairs playing the game " I thought this would have an effect on him but it doesn't seem too. I don't know what to do any more not only is this eating away at my self confidence but i am worried that they are all going miss out on each other and life really is so short. | my partner plays a lot of computer games, and/or spends his time on games forums. His 5 year old son even says he plays too much, running out of ideas to help and it's crushing self esteem. |
t3_3r9wez | relationships | My [18M] best friend [18M] best friend has put me in an awkward financial situation. | Hey guys. So a few weeks back a close friend of mine asked to borrow £110 for some things he was getting, he said he was getting paid soon so it was all okay. He put off paying it for a while and now he says I should let him off. FYI I'm on £5 an hour doing manual labour so that's a lot to me.
Here's the twist. This friend is taking me on a very expensive trip with his family over Christmas so that was his reasoning for not paying me. Now I know that sounds sort of fair but at the same time he borrowed that money saying he would pay it back and it's a matter of principle. I would never have put him in this position. I would be happy to spend that money on the holiday paying for things but it's just kind of soured the whole thing. Do I have a point or am I just being really stingy with my money? | best friend borrowed money won't pay back but is taking me on holiday. |
t3_1dy6yp | personalfinance | How horrible an idea is this? Cashing out my retirement fund to pay off credit cards while switching jobs | I have about $19,000 in a retirement account managed by my current employer. The money is 100% employer-contributed because I've never been able to afford to contribute.
I'm currently looking for a job (hence the throwaway), and I'm considering cashing out that account when I leave my current job.
My wife and I currently have about $9,000 in credit card debt, and we make about $200 a month in minimum payments. If I cash out the account, I hope to have just enough left after the tax hit to be able to pay off the cards.
Other relevant info: I'm 28 years old, she's 27. We've got a $95k mortgage that we're refinancing, plus about $45k in student loans and about $22k in car loans. We're living paycheck to paycheck now, but I expect that a new job will give us at least $1,000 extra in our budget each month. It could be as much as $1,300. (Yes, I am vastly underpaid right now, despite the pretty awesome retirement benefits.)
I'm hoping to use the extra money from my new job, refinancing the house, and paying off the credit cards to attack the existing debt and save for a down payment on a new house.
We want to buy a new house in five years and expect to need about $20-30k for a down payment. That part shouldn't be a problem at all. | I'm young and searching for a new job, could pay off credit cards by cashing out retirement. Good idea or bad? |
t3_251yvb | personalfinance | What to do with a bonus. | Hello PF! I've been a long time lurker and just want to say thanks to everyone for helping make it such a great resource.
So I have a bonus of 5K coming in, along with a slight raise. I still have 6K in a personal loan, and 20K in gov loans from school. I have been working these down at what I feel is a healthy rate since I graduated.
I do not have an emergency fund. I'm currently engaged and living with my fiance, and we are getting married in a year. At that time he is planning on paying off the rest of my loans. He has a good amount saved, as well as some money in mutual funds. Because of this I have not felt like I have needed to keep an emergency fund for myself. Since knowing that I will be getting this bonus though, I have been reconsidering that fact. I'm so used to throwing all the spare money I have at my loans.
Should I put the 5K in an emergency fund for myself, or throw it at my remaining loans? I have been leaning toward an emergency fund for myself, but it feels a little unnecessary. | I do not have an emergency fund, my fiance does. I still have ~26K in loans. Do I put a 5K bonus in my own separate emergency fund or do I use it to pay off a chunk of my loans? |
t3_2845oc | jobs | New job, advice needed!! | New job question!! I need ya help!
(X post from r/nursing)
So, I just got offered the perfect job for my life right now. An extremely well paying job as both a procedural nurse (endoscopy circulator and sedation) and an office nurse. Day shift, no late nights, no weekends, full medical premium paid by employer, lots of perks, etc. When I got the job offer call, she gave me all the info, when to start, what to wear, what the training process would be like...
BUT
Being the part time herbalist I am, I had to ask "Do you need me to have a physical or anything?" Her response was an emphatic "NO! Nothing like that." I know for a fact that they don't have the equipment/supplies to drug test there (one of my future duties will be to train others to draw blood).
I am kinda stuck because I want to celebrate with minimal partaking, but I do NOT want to jeopardize my future job. Also, just for reference, in my geographic area, I have worked at hospitals and hospital owned facilities and they ALWAYS require it. Doctors' offices don't seem to be as consistent. I know this is long and rambly, thanks for reading. | I got a great job at an independent doctor's office. New boss says I definitely don't need a physical. I'm 420 friendly. Do you think I'm ok to smoke a little to celebrate? |
t3_dzus8 | AskReddit | Trying to remember an old black & white cartoon... | See if you can figure this one out Reddit!
I had this black & white cartoon on VHS that I used to watch all the time in the early 90's. It was about this old man with a beard that walks by this orphanage and looks through the window. He sees a bunch of sad kids with no presents, little to no food (hard/stale bread), sitting around an old nasty Charlie Brown christmas tree.
Well, this old guy gets an idea... he see random objects around that he could turn into toys, etc. He takes stove pipes and fits them together with other objects. He takes wood and something wheels and makes skates for one kid. | Basically this old guy sees a bunch of sad kids in an poor orphanage, dresses up as Santa Claus and makes random toys from parts sitting around the place. |
t3_2fg657 | relationships | Me [28 F] with my fiance [28 M] 7yrs together, poured his beer on me in anger? Am I overreacting? | We were drinking, my fiancé was on his last (precious) beer and pretty drunk if you ask me. I **accidentally** knocked over his beer as I was on the floor, it foamed up and he grabbed it and let it pour all over me in anger. Wtf? Sure he didn't murder my family but would you consider this a "red flag" for someone you're about to marry? He has been borderline (mental/verbally) abusive in the past, but I usually let it go because it doesn't seem intentional. However, this instance just strikes me as really disrespectful. Am I overreacting? | Fiance pours beer on me, I'm worried it's a bad sign for the future.. |
t3_3q6ocr | tifu | TIFU by nearly stealing a Spongebob calendar from a book store | This was a long time ago, like when I was 8-9 yrs old or something.
Our family went to the mall to do some shopping and I kept bugging them about wanting to go to a bookstore. Eventually they gave up and we all went to the bookstore, since I was an annoying little prick back then.
Of course, since they didn't want to stay there for very long, they kept on rushing me to just do whatever the hell I wanted to do and leave so they can continue shopping for clothes or whatever.
This is when I fucked up.
I somehow ended up at the calendar section of the bookstore (don't know why they have those) and I saw a Spongebob calendar on the shelf. I took a good look at it, picked it up and stuff. At this point they are ripping their hair out wanting me to finish what I'm doing. So, I put it back on the shelf.
Or I thought I did.
Our family left the store, and out of nowhere I realized "What the hell? I'm still holding something?" And of course, I look down, and it's the calendar that I THOUGHT I put back on that damned shelf.
Of course I only realized this when we were literally on the OTHER side of the mall. I was thinking whether I should just keep it or return it back.
I thought fuck it, I'm not getting arrested for this shit, and I bolted the opposite direction towards the bookstore. My family thinking I was fucking out of my mind, and chased after me.
Long story short, I put it back, and my family was pretty pissed at me after that ordeal. I, obviosly, didn't give a shit. | Spongebob has amazing calendars. |
t3_3bvtyz | relationships | Me [29 M] with my fiance [29 F] going on 5 years, new infant, suddenly wants to explore her bisexual side | So, we had a baby about 5 months ago, and I've always known she's been a little curious about being with women and hadn't done anything since a teen. Now, suddenly, she's really into the idea of being with another woman, including the coveted threesome. We watched a threesome video the other day and she was really hot over it. I'm in this position of wanting to foster her sexual exploration but also not get into a situation that I'm going to regret. Anyone else have experience with this relatively sudden development in their relationship, and have advice?
Throw away for obvious reasons. | Fiance and I have baby, few months later sex drive ramp'd up and she's interested in exploring her sexuality and engaging in FFM relations. Need advice. |
t3_qj7mf | AskReddit | So lets say the whole 'Toy Story' idea is real. As adults (I use the term loosely) what items/toys/whatever do you have in your room right now that would come alive? What would be the result of this (if anything)? I'll start.. | A Big Daddy (Bioshock), Carnage (Spiderman), a gremlin (Gremlins), a Tiger, a Pikachu, a chicken, Deadpool, The Joker, a Meerkat with glasses, a Donkey, Spyro the Dragon, Vault boy (Fallout), Ezio (Assassins Creed) and Predator (Predator).
A whole shit fuck storm of violence.. Someone would knock the Meerkats glasses off of his face (as is tradition).. I'm pretty sure the Tiger would then eat the Meerkat and Donkey, the Big Daddy and Carnage would start fighting.. Deadpool and the Joker would be having it out with each other too which I could only imagine to be awesome.. Pikachu and Spyro would be all up in each others faces, Ezio and Predator would commence in an epic battle, while Vault Boy wouldn't give two shits about the whole ordeal.. Then the gremlin would probably go and something after midnight (most likely the chicken).. Then probably fire and explosions.. | I need to get out more.. |
t3_49zs9g | tifu | TIFU by wearing my beige chinos to work | So this fuck up is actually happening right now as I type this. So part of my job entails me going out into the field and inspecting homes or businesses.
I started a few weeks ago so my supervisor has been going with me to show me the ropes.
20 minutes ago we got to the site and as I got out of the vehicle, my motherfuckshitasshole pants ripped from my crotch up to my ass.
My supervisor went to engage with the homeowner waiting in his driveway so this was all unbeknownst to her.
So now im just chilling in the car right now while she gives me dirty looks like "WTF you doing still sitting there??".
I'm sitting here trying to figure out wtf to do lol. At least its friday and I just got paid. | had a blowout from my crotch to bunghole during work. Out in the field. With my boss. Fuck me. |
t3_54lamk | relationships | I [23/M] need some advice about a girl [19/F] | Using a throwaway in case people I know find my real account.
So anyways, I met this girl almost 3 years ago. At the time, we were *JUST FRIENDS* and I thought nothing of it (I wasn't interested, she was in high school, had a boyfriend, etc.).
We were only ever friendly to each other, never flirty or anything of the sort. We have a lot in common and get along really well.
Recently, however, I feel that we've become much closer. We'd talk every day, sent frequent (appropriate) snapchats to each other and talked about getting the chance to see each other again (I had moved approximately 1000 miles away for a job).
I got to see her a little bit over the summer, but we were too busy with our respective tasks to truly hang out and catch up. After that, though, I feel as if the amount of communication we have has decreased a lot. It's hard to talk to her during the day because of college/work and I rarely get snapchats from her anymore. We still talk, of course, just not as much.
In addition, she's told me a few times that she thinks I'm perfect and I just don't know what to make of it.
I'm pretty much crazy about this girl, but I don't think she comes even close to feeling the same way, and I'm afraid to ask because she's one of my closest friends and I don't want to fuck anything up.
I've had friends tell me to give it up and let go, and others tell me to tell her how I feel. I'm not sure what to do because while I want to know if there's anything between us, I don't want to lose the great friend I have. | Developed romantic feelings for a friend who lives a long way away and may not share these feelings, conflicted on what to do. |
t3_3bqzr9 | tifu | TIFU by forcing someone out the closet at work. | This happened quite recently, but not today. I was casually chatting with colleagues when I noticed one of the guys had a wedding band on that I'd never noticed before in our almost half a year of working together. I egged him on and asked him question about his wife, whom he'd never mentioned, and then insisted he show pictures. He hesitated and said later, and tried to stall. I didn't back off I kept teasing him and roped another colleague into join in on the fun, which he partially obliged. After he change the subject a few times, I pestered him some more then added him on social media. While browsing his profile and loudly declaring, hmmm you must not love her much because you have no pictures with her!... Soon after he showed a picture of him and his partner.
I felt applaud at myself 1. for being a bully, 2. for not recognizing any signs. usually I'm better at detecting!
All is well and banter and interpersonal relationships at the office are absolutely normal now so no serious harm done.. just a big of a F'up at the time.
I apologized profusely for my assumptions which he then laughed off and remarked that he thought we knew. | Kept insisting a colleauge show pictures of his wife and was a fool for assuming his partner was a woman. |
t3_iv1mb | AskReddit | Should I cancel my Netflix account and switch to Amazon Streaming instead which also gives me Amazon Prime? | Since Netflix changed their pricing I will be billed soon for about $17 a month. I only watch about 3-5 dvds/blu-rays a month so I don't think the account is worth keeping at this time. I am thinking of cancelling Netflix and signing up on Amazon's Prime service ($79 a year) which includes their streaming service as well. The problem is Amazon doesn't work on the | Should I cancel Netflix and use Amazon Prime/Streaming instead? I will need to get Roku or a similar box if I do unless I buy Playon software for my |
t3_sqx3r | AskReddit | Someone robbed my parents and we think we know who, what can we do? | My parents have two houses and a garage. One house they live in, the garage is next door (my dad is a mechanic, so the garage is very large, the size of our house, and not attached to the house), and the house next to it is my great grandmother's, which they've bought and are rebuilding.
One of the guys who was paid to work on the house ended up being a scumbag. Ever since they hired him, they've heard terrible things; he does a lot of drugs, he steals, and sells the stuff to fund his habit. He's told my dad multiple times about missing work because he was "sick" (on drugs or crashing). He owes my dad work, or money he was paid to do the work. He recently asked my dad to borrow a piece of equipment to work on someone else's house. My dad said no,not until he did the worked he owed him. This was a few days ago, and now today they realized probably $5k worth of tools were stolen, and the doors broken so they could easily re-enter to get more.
The police said this guy usually goes and offloads his goods in Baltimore (an hour and a half away) for drugs, but in typical [/r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut](/r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut) fashion, they're unconcerned and claim there's little they can do. They have no grounds to search his home.
They've installed cameras, and are afraid to leave the house. What can they do? | Parents were robbed, we believe we know who, police say there's little they can do. How can we make the system work the way it should? |
t3_3i89do | relationships | Me [27 F] with my Future Husband [28 M] 8 years, he's still checking up on her. | I know my issue sounds trivial but I don't have anyone else to complain to because I don't want my friends to think I'm crazy.
I have been on cloud nine during the early stages of wedding planning. This morning I messaged my FH on Facebook about the tentative date of our wedding. I was super excited until I discovered that the FB search box allows you to look back into your search history. I checked mine only to find a girl's name was searched just last night...and frequently, like on an almost weekly basis....someone who I never think about but the name is familiar. It's my FH's old fling.
Backstory: While my FH and I have dated for 8 years, we had a gap period where we broke up for 6 months right after we graduated college. I found out he was Skyping a girl, it lead to many fights, which ended up with me dumping him. We both tried to date different people for those 6 months (he ended up hooking up with Skype girl). But my ex worked hard to win me back while I was dating other men and he won. Our relationship has only grown stronger in the past 6 years since our break up.
My FH doesn't have Facebook, so I know he was the one using mine to search for his old FWB/Skype girl. And it brings up all this paranoia in me. Why the fuck is he looking her up almost every week? Does he still have feelings for her? Is he fantasizing about her? Am I his first choice? Are they still in contact?
And I cannot bring this up to him because it's probably just innocent Facebook stalking. But this discovery is filling my mind with doubt and putting a damper on this supposedly happy time for us. It's a confusing feeling to know that this man who wants to marry me, at 3 am when he can't sleep, he's checking up on her. </3 | My fiancé is still looking up his old lover. |
t3_18d60q | relationships | My Mum and her work friend walked in on my SO[M20] and I[F18] having sex, now she's very, very mad. | My mum came home early from work with one of her friends. My SO and I were in my room having ... loud sex. They could clearly hear us, but we didn't realise they were home until after. They left as quickly as they could and my mum came home 20 minutes later EXTREMELY angry.
My mother has always had issues with me not being a virgin, she almost kicked me out when she found out that I wasn't (when we started dating over a year and a half ago). Now she refuses to talk to me and barely acknowledges me.
So, Reddit, how do I deal with my embarrassment and my mum's anger at me? HELP. | Mum and her friend caught me having sex with my SO and now refuses to speak to me. |
t3_3mlf3t | relationships | [Update] My parents [50M] and [48F] went through my [18M] stuff and took my condoms | [Original](
I wasn't going to update this as there isn't really much to tell, but I hate being left hanging when people don't update on this sub so I figured I may as well.
I was all set to confront my parents because they hadn't said anything to me yet, but I decided to check the drawer in my night stand one last time to make sure I wasn't just being a moron. It was just too weird that the box was still there and only the condoms were missing. Things weren't quite adding up. I realized they must have fallen out of the drawer and gotten stuck behind it, but the drawer isn't removable. I somehow managed to squeeze my hand through the <2 inch gap and, yup, there they were.
It's a good thing I decided to check again or else I'd be posting to r/tifu right now, although I'm sure that'd be more entertaining for you guys. Sorry for the false alarm. | Parents didn't take condoms, I'm just a moron. |
t3_30jovy | tifu | TIFU by reading my GF's texts | She is back home, where we grew up (moved to where the jobs were) which is several hours away. I got home to check reddit, as I do many days, and she had her texts up on the screen (on her computer, we both use).
Anyway, I went to click away when I saw a number I didn't know, and curiosity got the best of me. I selected the convo, and saw a friendly hello to what appeared to be an old friend she had been reminded of when visiting with friends. The conversation didn't take long until it jumped to him reminding her of the sex they had, "it was fun.." he said. And she said, "that it was." He coaxed her a little more, but she didn't really budge much more into it.
Now I'm bothered, she won't be back for a few days, and while it isn't like she sent nudes, it hurts and frustrates me that she would even revisit that conversation. After all, she stopped me from talking to an ex of mine that I had told her from the beginning of the relationship was strictly a friend. We never talked sex, but we did talk about my relationship - this ex was not my cup of a tea as a partner, but certainly a good friend when I needed one over the years. | I read my girlfriend's texts, and she had texted an old fling. I don't really know how to proceed with this info in an adult relationship and I hate feeling like this. |
t3_1scp2a | relationships | How do I [19M] meet women in college without drinking and partying? | I am a male college student, who, due to diagnosed Aspergers, along with being an introvert who does not have much social experience due to being homeschooled through high school, has had trouble meeting people so far in college. I really do not have any desire whatsoever to get drunk or high, the idea seems very undesirable to me, so I have not gone to any parties, nor do I plan on doing so. I do really want to have a girlfriend, but I have not had any luck meeting women, at least in part due to lack of opportunities. Do you have any ideas of how I can put myself in situations to increase my chances of meeting and interacting with women? I probably should mention that I am an atheist, so any suggestions involving religious organizations are not relevant to me. Thanks so much for your responses! | I am an introvert with aspergers in college who does not like drinking. How do I meet women? |
t3_24fnjf | relationships | Me [20M] with my on/off again[20F] of 2 and a half years. I'm about to say what i want to happen, talk me down please. (our background as well) | At this point right now we're not together. She has a boyfriend.
We were together for a year and a half before we broke up the first time. I was at a difficult place in my life and was as depressed over a long period as i've ever been so she decided that she didn't want to deal with it anymore.
6 months later during the summer, we decided that we really missed each others company and got back together... or so i though. We were going to each others places, going out for supper and going shopping together, but to make things less awkward we decided to not tell our friends we were together.
Eventually i finally asked we what was up and where we were in our relationship. She said that she didn't want it anymore.
2 weeks after that she said that we should keep doing what we were doing before. Me being the fool that i am and wanted any part of her life back in mine accepted.
We saw eachother 3 more times over the next 2 months. She sent me a TEXT saying that she was now with a new boyfriend and that i couldn't get mad because it was clear that she didn't want to be with me anymore. Me being the hopeless optimist thought that she was just busy with finals and such.
It's been about 4 months since then. All the times we've gotten back together it was her that started the ball rolling again. All i want to do is tell her that even with our problems, if we just spent 6 months or a year or maybe more apart that we would be perfect for each other. We were just SO CLOSE to having everything perfect.
Please someone tell me how bad of a plan that this is so i don't ruin the friendship that we still have. | It's been her that keeps getting us back together. Now i want to say that in ~ a year we should get back together and that with more time apart we would be damn near perfect. don't let me do this, she has a boyfriend |
t3_18qw46 | self | Let's all keep denying the fact that mental health is an issue in this country. | I'm getting tired of this. Budget cuts to mental health and substance abuse is making people crazy and yet they blame it on guns and we are ignoring the REAL problem.
How many lives must be lost for our politicians to WAKE up and really see what is going on in this country? How many new laws for guns and privacy must be made before they realize this is NOT the problem? This country is in a downward spiral and its taking everyone with it. This issue is personal to me.
My sister has lost her 3 kids and ruined her life to pill addiction. She also has several mental health issues and recently almost died from overdose 3 days before this past Christmas. My mother and I have called every hospital and doctors office she has been to warning them. They even invited her to the hospital when she overdosed and asked her opinion and they still let her go home. It is absolutely insane that to this day can still go doctor shopping and there is nothing in place to prevent that. Why is there no system in place for doctors to see what other doctors have prescribed? Why doesn't the state Medicaid program flag her insurance and say no way are we paying for this anymore? It's astonishing how many narcotics she was on at any given time, more so than any cancer patient I have ever known.
What is it going to take for this country to wake up? It's really sad because I know I'm not the only person feeling like this. I have severe anxiety and it has been crippling my life since I was a kid. When I moved it took me a YEAR to get on my prior meds from my old state. I even had the record to prove it and I had to wait a YEAR just to see someone, I actually had one appointment within 6 months but due to budget cuts the office closed!! I almost gave up. Something needs to be done. /Rant | Mental health and substance abuse is an epidemic in this country and no one is doing anything about it. It has a personal connection to me and my family and something needs to be done! |
t3_1oszk3 | AskReddit | People with nursing jobs or knowledge on the subject in Canada, what are the regulations for appearance? | I am interested in entering nursing in university next year. My main concern is a tattoo on my right forearm. It is on the top side and not large or vulgar (it is a completely black ankh).
I've asked people from the nursing faculty at the university I want to attend but the responses have been mixed about whether I can have it or not, whether it needs to be covered or not, and the issue of getting jobs also concerns me. My current career idea is to become a psychiatric nurse at a local psychiatric hospital, not a huge medical facility.
Should I consider a different career path? Lastly, as a male with longer hair should I cut it? It is long enough for a small ponytail currently. Thanks. | can male nurses have long hair and a single smallish tattoo? |
t3_4qmtww | relationships | I [23F] met my boyfriends [23M] family for the first time and I accidentally knocked out one of his brothers [15M] teeth | Hi Reddit, I am hoping you can help me out with this.
His siblings are (20F twins, 22F, 15M)
Last night I met my boyfriend's family for the first time, we have been dating for 6 months. My boyfriend family is not really spread out like mine, they all live/work/study in Melbourne (Australia). My boyfriend has four sisters and one brother. Last night I went to my boyfriend's house for a BBQ. It was a really good night except for the fact that it was freezing here. It was raining a little earlier in the day so I had my umbrella with me.
This umbrella has this weird nob on the top of it, I have no other idea how to describe it. I was talking to this brother and I have no idea how but the umbrella opened. It hit him in the mouth and it knocked one of his front teeth out. I did not know what happened at first because he grabbed at his mouth and walked away. My boyfriend came back and he was laughing his ass off. You would think he saw the funniest thing ever and he told me that his brother knocked a drink of the counter making a dash for the bathroom.
I heard him call for his mom and it turns out I knocked out one of his front teeth. My boyfriend and I apologised but I could see his sisters were not impressed. How do I navigate this situation? | Knocked out one of my SO brother teeth accidentally with my umbrella. |
t3_3f4kbf | AskDocs | Had peritonsillar abscess with no symptoms from assumed Strep Throat. Now it's back again, no symptoms, yet. Vacation tomorrow... | Hi,
I'm a 26 white male with no previous history of tonsilitis beyond the previous Quinsy.
About 5 months ago I got the Quinsy in a big way, no huge swelling but a massive yellow glob hanging off one of my tonsils and the other tonsil peppered with spots. Had 3 iv drips of antibiotics and a course of Augmentin which cleared it up eventually after a few weeks.
Now it's back. Much smaller this time, the size of a pea with a little spec below it. Its yellow, not white. Only on one tonsil.
Saw my doctor, but we don't speak the same language (I live in a foreign country) so couldn't ask many questions.
Both this time and now I had no headache, no fever, no pain to report.
I had a cold earlier this week which is now gone. Slight sore throat but mainly runny nose. I DID NOTICE THE SPOT ON SUNDAY/MONDAY but thought it was one of those smelly little tonsil stones at the time.
So, how come I keep getting assumed strep throat, that is completely without pain or fever, as is usually reported? Or is it viral and connected to my cold? How come it is without symptoms. | Second time with suspected strep throat. Both times no symptoms. Why? |
t3_43enrt | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend [18F] is very busy, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. | Hey /r/relationships!
So, me and my girlfriend is in last year of school before we're both heading to university. We're in Norway, so I'm not going to bore you with how the school system works. The thing is, her grades are important this semester as she wants to become an engineer at the best school in the country, and that involves taking the hardest classes such as the most difficult math that is offered at Norwegian high school, biology and chemistry. Me, on the other hand, wants to become a software developer at the same university, but I don't need to take all the hard classes that she does, as this only requires the second hardest math and I generally need to spend less time with my homework to get good grades. And I support her decision. It's very important for me that she is happy and that she gets into the school that she wants, and I will therefore never get mad at her when she can't spent time with me. She also keeps comforting me with that it will get better with time, and I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me as much as ever.
But still, as a person that loves spending time with other people, I'm having a tough time dealing with this. Sometimes it really feels like she should have been able to find time for me, like today when she gets off work at 21:30PM, but says that she is always so tired after two days of working that she wants to go straight home and sleep. I respect it, but I can't help but feel really dissapointed. This makes me feel pretty bad, and although I try to not let it affect my mood, I can't help but feel that it affects how I act and how I talk.
It's also worth mentioning that we do have some classes together, and that I see her some hours every day at school. But I never get time with her alone, and as I'm writing this, we haven't been together outside of school for over two weeks, and it's really affecting by mood. I guess what I'm really wondering is whether or not someone here has gone through somewhat the same thing, and what you did to handle it better. Thanks in advance! | Girlfriend is very busy at the moment, and I try to support her as good as I possibly be can. But we barely spend time together outside of school at the moment, and it's really affecting my mood from time to time. How do I learn to handle this better? |
t3_3mxfxs | relationships | My ex girlfriend who moved to another state[F 17] broke up with me [M 18] and wont tell me why. | Ex-girlfriend recently moved to another state and we did the long distance relationship thing for about a month. She convinced me to come see her and everything went great. We had a good time and did coupley stuff. I had to go back home eventually for work and about a week later (after not talking to me for 3 1/2 of days of that week) she broke everything off. She didn't give me a reason why, and said that she didn't want to talk to me because it made her feel uncomfortable. I am still in love with her and I don't really know what to do about it.
Should I wait for a while and then try to talk to her about it? Should I just leave her alone and hope she comes back to me? Should I just try my best to forget about her and move on? I just dont know how to go about it because she is adding music to our romance playlist in spotify still. I am worried it is because she found someone better. What do I do? | Girlfriend broke things off after moving to a different state. Wont talk to me at all about it. |
t3_1x44ts | weddingplanning | Our perfect Seattle venue has very EXPENSIVE catering options! | Mild rant ahead, but any suggestions are very welcome;
First, my AMAZING fiancée and I are trying to make our wedding happen on $20k or less.
We found a great venue but they only allows limited options for catering. Our guest list goal is going to be 150. We just got a quote back from a bloody FOOD TRUCK was going to be $9440 BEFORE ALCOHOL!!! That is almost 1 year of classes at University of Washington...
Anyhew, we have a deposit on this place and I am trying to think of reasonable options. Maybe keeping it to appetizers? Coffee, soda wine, beer bar (and only about half the people attending drink) and cake? Ill also keep looking at the other caterers as well.
Were beginning to debate on just running away but I would like some of our grandparents to have the opportunity to see us have a ceremony. | Catering is stupid expensive, and do not lecture me on food / labor prices, my family owns a coffee shop and a teriyaki joint... |
t3_2s1jkt | relationships | Love my girlfriend, hate her parents | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. Were both 18. I'm not gonna waste time talking about how she's the love of my life and other cliché BS, I'll just get right to the point. Her parents are both from Poland and are pretty strict Catholics. Neither myself or her identify with any religion, but that's besides the point. I live primarily with my dad and the household is very loose and relaxed which I live. He's cool with pretty much everything, and lets my gf sleep over whenever without questioning it. The only problem is she has to lie to her mom to sleep over, and the few times she has done it her mom has found out. I have stayed over at her house twice but both times I was forced to sleep in the guest room. Just a few nights ago it was brutally snowing outside so she called her mom and asked if she could stay over since the roads were so shitty and her mom freaked out telling her to come home. Her mom would rather risk her daughter's safety and well being rather than staying at my house. Can someone (maybe a parent?) please enlighten me as to why it's such a big deal if we simply spend the night together? I understand it's probably the fact that they don't want to see her pregnant, but her mom knows she's on the pill and that we're completely safe when it comes to sex. She has explained this to her parents, yet they claim that's not why they don't want her staying over, they never really give a straight answer. Also, her mom claims that we're moving too fast by having sleep overs which I don't get. I don't know what to do, I love having her over for the night but at the same time I want to respect her parents. | I want to have freedom in my relationship but gf's parents are strict. |
t3_ytdmo | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever done something in another country, only to learn later that it is culturally unacceptable there? | I was recently visiting family friends with my wife in Germany. They don't have very much money but were kind enough to let us stay with them. On the first night, they prepared a large amount of food. Given the American custom, we cleaned our plates. After every plate we finished they would bring out a new plate of food. We didn't know what to do so we just kept eating. We probably ate about a weeks worth of food for them. Later that night we told our friend in America about it and he explained to us that it is custom to leave a small portion of food on your plate in Germany. Needless to say, we felt horrible afterwords and apologized countless times. | Went to Germany. Ate insane amounts of food. |
t3_baz2w | self | See you later Reddit. It's been great time! Would you mind helping a brother out? | I love Reddit. I love it so much, I sometimes wonder if I'm an "internet addict" because I spend at least 2 hrs a day here (my problem...). Anyway, I've been thinking about signing off for awhile because I need to focus on school, but I got a phone call from my sister that sealed the deal. She told me that my dad has cancer. Man, I can't even remember the last time I talked to my dad. It made me realize I need to focus a bit more on "real life" and family for awhile, find some balance, and stop being a selfish bastard.
Anyway, I know my ass will want to be back here soon and I still need some work on my self control. Would you guys mind helping me out? Would you downvote anything I say or post (only new stuff!) here to oblivion if I come back before say... May 6th? It will be the end of the semester and my birthday. Until then, I'll be missing you guys, but I need to focus on my "real world" family instead of my digital one for awhile. Thanks for you help! | If I post anything before May 6th (after this), downvote me the way you'd treat a troll or mod who gets paid $$$ for posts. |
t3_2c2sls | tifu | TIFU practice guitar | For the last few days I have been in the process of moving to a new apartment and my room did not have furniture except for my mattress.
This afternoon I thought it would be nice to take a quick break from packing and grab a beer and practice some guitar. Realizing quickly my chairs are still packed, I decide it would be a good idea to practice on the ground cross-legged.
After about an hour of practice and the beer settled in, I feel a little some rumbling and realize it's time to run across the way to break in the toilet. I put my guitar down and slowly stand up...
Numbness and a tickling sensation hit my legs from sitting cross-legged for so long and I am frozen in my half-standing, half-sitting position. The numbness seems to creep even further up my legs and my body feels frozen.
I lose the sense of my upper thighs and it hits... I can't control my bowels. I end up pooping all over myself and my mattress, unable to make it to the toilet. I end up falling on my mattress and letting the numbness subside for a few minutes until I can get up and run to the shower. Did I mention I was wearing shorts? Great, now I have a poop trail from my room to toilet to clean up. My mattress has a big brown stain and I think I might just trash it now. | anal rape by guitar. |
t3_1toe7z | self | April, thank you for letting me be a part of your life. | The greatest present I could possibly have been given this year was a chance to atone, sincerely, for acting stupid, jealous, and irrational, toward a woman who did NOT deserve it, and who bore my uncalled-for outburst with the grace, resilience, and lack of a willingness to take bullshit which I have come to expect from her.
This girl has inspired so much good in me, has made me want to take concrete steps toward improving myself in a way that no other relationship really ever has. She's smart, gorgeous, independent, fun, caring, and reliable... she's a lot of things, really.
and there are probably eight or ten guys who would love to take my place with her... and that night, it would have been simple for her to put me aside in favor of any one of them. There are guys who might make more money than i do, might get to work out more often... maybe there's even one that's not as much of a bipolar douchebag as i am :/ but despite all those options... she chose to work things out with me (which could not be happening more organically or in a more mature/reasoned way), rather than take the baggage-free dude with the expensive car or the pecs or whatever, over me.
that shit feels good. thanks, April. Merry Christmas <3 | Dumb misunderstanding leads to me acting a douchebag toward an amazing girl. She could have had her pick of any number of guys, but she's chosen to give me a second chance instead, and that shit is _validating_. she is an amazing person, in so many ways, though she won't admit it, and I was lucky to get _one_ chance, so this... this is nice. <3 |
t3_4e9ftf | relationships | Me [22 M] with my [21 F] over 1 year. Insecurity and looking for advice | I'm an insecure person and my girlfriend 21 F has always made me feel wanted and loved. But recently things have had a turn for the worse in our relationship and I'm wondering if I'm too controlling or there is something to try to fix overall.
My girlfriend is in a sorority, prior to our relationship she had sexual relations with two members of a fraternity that she is friends with. When we got together I told her that I was not comfortable with her still seeing these men that she had relations with and she agreed to stop seeing and interacting with them. First I'm wondering if I'm too controlling in that regard by dictating who I'm comfortable with her seeing.
But now she still has friends in that fraternity and I'm okay with that but she recently made one of her friends her 'little brother' which makes me very scared considering that this was the title used when she was in relationships with the other members. I'm not certain if I'm afraid she will cheat or that she can't let go of this relationship she's had with this fraternity; but I'm nervous non-the-less. When I try to bring it up she calls me controlling and to stop causing problems, I feel as though I;m not thought of in this situation. She says a little brother means nothing and I'm causing a problem but I just don't know if I'm overly controlling or if I have a point here. I'd just like some outside opinions to perhaps show the errors of my way. | GF had sex with frat guys, still hangs out with the frat makes me uncomfortable |
t3_4f0anz | offmychest | Telling me to calm down when I'm calm | I work with indepemdant contractors as the office administrator and they come to use the office for meetings and paperwork.
Today a new contractor, who up until today I haven't had problems with, came in.
I should note I share an office with my boss. We are very close.
This contractor walked in while my boss and I had another contractor in our office and said to me "I tried to call you yesterday but you didnt answer so I called -name of contractor in the office with us-.
I saw this call. My cell phone rang twice and then stopped. I assumed it was a pocket dial so I didnt call back. If it was an important I would have expected a voice mail.
I said this to them, they smiled, denied having hung up and looked away to talk to the other contractor.
I, smiling, not thinking any negative thoughts, not riled up, not excited, not angry, in (what I believe) a calm tone: "just call the office line if you need to talk to me when I'm in the office."
They looked at me dead in the eyes with no humour-almost a scary coldness- and said "calm down."
The fastest way to piss off a calm person is to tell them to calm down.
I began to talk again "im calm, all I said wa-"
Again they say "calm down," with just angry eyes.
Now I'm FUMING but I laugh and turn to my boss with a puzzled look on my face and say "I cant tell if they're joking or angry"?
At this point they say "neither I just" and then I stopped listening because I was angry but satisfied that the tension had broken.
There was some chit chat among the contractors and my boss and then this person left.
My boss thought the reaction, attitude and mood of this contractor came out of nowhere and was totally offside which was super reassuring to me because I had no idea where it came from.
I'm now not very likely to do them any favours. Don't piss off your admin by attempting to make them feel small. You only make yourself look weird... | Don't tell a calm person to calm down unless you want to make yourself look like an ass. |
t3_vhias | BreakUps | First break for a previous forever aloner | [edited but probably still rant mode] 24 years old been pretty much single my whole life, been on dates but never got past 2nd or third dates (it was either them or me) never kissed etc. Met this guy (friend of a friends friend) we got along great but been slowly dating for around a year and talking alot. Last month of two started to see each other more often finally felt like things are going good and would get more serious. Things went back and forth we could be really close, brillaint and sweet one minute then kinda distant. Didn't say much thought I was just worrying too much, he was very respectful there were no real fights or arguments. However he took me out on relaxed date then had a talk and a hug. He told me before we met he got out of a long term relationship and wasn't completely over his ex. I told him i really liked him and was going to miss him badly feel sad it didn't work out and so forth. He said sorry too and then that I was great fun to hang out with and great looking and we should stay in touch and hang out soon. I haven't said any back since what can I say, it hurts no matter how nice he tried to be and I don't even know how much truth is in the ex story but it makes sense for few things, I don't want to dwell and just hope it is true.
I really do miss him and keeps going back in my head that I should contact him and see if there's anyway to get back togther but then I can't because what if he says no etc. Plus being friend will hurt what if he gets back with his ex or starts dating others, i'd hate to sit back and see it happen.
Sometimes i'm fine and i'm just happy I got out there and expereinced something and overall it was great, then I'm hit with a wave of depression that makes me feel like I can't do anything | Previously forever alone first big toe in in trying relationships and really liked them and they're still being friendly so hurt, but could do with tips to help move on more than anything. |
t3_1bmjb5 | self | My friends' Dad is about to die too young. What, if anything, can I say? | Hi Reddit,
A family who have been good friends with mine for years is about to lose their father to cancer. He's had it for a while but they've now been told he will pass away soon. He's only in his fifties and his three children (2F, 1M) are all my age (early 20s). I feel compelled to say something to them to help, but I know that saying "It'll be ok" or "If you need anything, I'm here" will not be helpful right now.
If anyone has any experience of anything like this and/or can offer me any advice on how to help them in any way during this time I would be so grateful.
I work and study 7 days a week pretty much and I live a couple of hours away so it's not particularly easy to go and see them. | My friends' father will die quite young soon. Is there anything I can say to them that will help during this time? Thanks x |
t3_zq3hv | AskReddit | Crazy woman about to marry my Uncle.... should I support him and go to their wedding? | Here is a little background:
My Uncle is engaged to a mentally sick, evil, conniving woman( at least I think so). They have got into multiple fights, and each time she has done stuff that creeps me out. The first fight, he ended up leaving and staying in a hotel. He gets 2 pictures from her. The first picture is of her hand.. without the engagement ring on it. The second is a picture of the ring in the trash and her giving him the middle finger. He calls members of my family for support and advice. The second fight she literally trashes his house.. cuts up his sofa, knocks over his file cabinets, throws all his documents all over the floor. It just so happens my Uncle has a sweatshirt with a brand that has his same first name. She slashed the sweatshirt right through the name. I think that is probably the most chilling message that she sent. She has made small comments like: " your clothes make you look to old, your beard makes you look fat, I will keep this ring until I find some one better".
On top of all of this.. they schedule their wedding the day after my cousins(that's a whole other 10 page story.)
Here is where you come in Reddit: Should I go to his wedding and support him.. despite the fact that I think his fiance is a psychopath in need of desperate mental assistance? Half of my family thinks we should go, and the other thinks that if we go, we are supporting her as well and are enabling this type of behavior? | Uncle is about to marry a psycho path.. should I support him and go, or miss out on his wedding completely? |
t3_2zal8t | relationship_advice | When one is more emotionally upfront? Same-sex couple Me [m23] and my bf [m26] | Hi, I have been dating my bf for about 6 months now. We started last fall and hit everything off really well and made it "official" a little before NYE, even though we were both monogamous since last fall.
ANYWAY. We have a very good relationship, spend lots of time together doing things/going on dates and also spend the nights together quite often. We've met each others closest friends and are open about our past and previous relationships.
My question or 'issue' is that I feel like I am the one to say how i'm feeling most of the time. We talk and compliment each other all the time, but I usually get more existentially deep about how good he makes me feel, and then I get anxious because it puts me in a vulnerable state and he kinda just agrees and doesn't add too much to it.
I understand that some people just arent as expressive or sensitive as I am, and that's totally cool, but sometimes I can't tell if I'm being too much or rushing things. I want to be able to use the words "i love you" when need be, not all the time, or in a "I WANT TO MARRY YOU" type of way, but I think if i said those words, even casually, it'd freak him out. [I drunkinly said it once very early in the relationship and it made things a bit weird, so now I'm very hesitant]. But I want to be able to say it, and hear it. A heart or kissy emoji can only go so far. Do I just be patient and let it get there? Or do I bring any of this up, because I feel like i'm being crazy or irrational. | I have a great relationship (of 6 months), but sometimes worry I'm too open with my feelings/afraid to say "I love you" bc it might be too early. I feel like I am the one who is more verbally expressive, even though he shows he cares in other ways, just not vocally. Is this normal/How do i approach this? |
t3_12y6cv | relationship_advice | [M/21] My gf of a year and a few months [F/18] is debating ending us, but doesn't want to hurt me. But I love her... | So, recently my gf has been acting weird lately. Recently she cheated on me with another guy, and I found out. I basically walked out on her, never to see her again, but she came back to me, and said "When you walked out on me, I felt a huge piece of my life just walking out the door...". So she apologized for everything, we talked, she was truely sorry for what she did, and I gave her another chance. We agreed to work things out and figure things out between us. Now, she says she feels like she's missing something in her life; doesn't know what it is, but doesn't know if she wants to break up with me or not. I want to stay with her, but she's up in the air. She says she doesn't really feel it between us anymore, but I'm trying to convince her to stay... Please Help Reddit | gf cheated on me, I walk out, she comes back, i give her another chance, now she feels like she's missing something |
t3_2p37m5 | tifu | TIFU by cussing on Pictochat with my younger cousins. | This happened 4 or 5 years ago but it still makes me cringe to even think about it. The setting was my uncle's cottage in northern Michigan. My cousins and I absolutely loved playing on our Nintendo DS's and it was our favorite thing to do (even though we were at a lake). One evening all 3 of us were sitting in the back sun room and my cousin, let's call him Chris, had the idea that we all go on Pictochat and write stupid things on it. Well here is the fuck up. Everything started out normal but me being my immature 13 year old self decided to start cussing and drawing dicks on it. Well after about 20 minutes of this we got called for dinner so we turned our DS's off and forgot about all of the wrong we had just said. Later that night I notice that my other cousin, let's call her Katy had left her DS on and plugged in to the charger. I thought nothing of it and went to sleep. The next day went by and nothing was out of the ordinary. But after I had arrived home 2 days later shit proceeded to hit the fan. My parents called me into the living room and boy they did not look happy. They said, "So did you have fun on Pictochat at the cottage?" My heart sank as I was a mix of despair and confusion. If you don't know anything about Pictochat, it all clears as soon as you exit it and nothing saves. I played dumb and asked what are you talking about? My mom then said, "We received and interesting call from your uncle today, and we want to hear your side of the story." I spilled my guts as they looked more disappointed than I had ever seen them before. Later that night I remembered how Katy had left her DS on and plugged in all night just so she could show all of the profanity to her dad when she got home the next day. So this all could have been avoided if I would have just opened her DS and shut it off that night I disregarded it. | I fucked up by cussing and drawing dicks on Pictochat to my younger cousins and getting busted. |
t3_19h0c9 | relationships | Feel like my (f 20) friends (20s m/f) are holding me back. | I'm 20, and a junior in college. I'm a person who is somewhat outgoing, and I enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences. Because of this, I've had several friend circles since high school. But I feel like many of my friends are limiting my experience.
90% of them are content with doing the same thing, every weekend, with the same people. I would suggest new things (activities that don't even cost money, or if there was driving, I'd drive) and most people are just interested in doing the same old nothing. I do have friends who are outgoing, and we travel together and try to make the most out of our time off, but I know so many negative people.
Maybe I'm just looking at people from a negative perspective, but so many people in my age group are stuck. They don't want to better themselves (or they do and don't know how) and are constantly complaining.
I've tried out the party scene at my school- not really my thing, but I'll attend occasionally. I just recently ended my relationship of a year, because my ex was never interested in meeting new people (he said he had 2 friends and that was all he needed.....) and he didn't make an effort to make plans besides hanging around his house and watching movies.
I just want to clarify- I am not looking for some crazy, unrealistic lifestyle. I don't expect to travel every weekend or always be doing something. But it becomes so aggravating when I ask people to do things and they'd rather sit at home! I don't know where to find motivated people. I don't mind doing things alone. Any perspective? | Many of my friends aren't motivated. They don't want to ever do anything new or give new people a chance. Feeling unhappy. |
t3_10rn52 | AskReddit | Complete insecurity with girlfriends and friends | Ever since i was 8 years old, i had a bad homelife situation with my stepmother. My experience with that made me somewhat insecure and shy throughout my life since. Im still working over it. Around the time i started to like girls, i would always settle for less then what i could get. I get crap all the time for some of the girls i dated in the past. (friends being dicks). I had a friend once steal 2 girls from me over the course of a year. I know find it impossible to trust my friends with information on who im interested in or dating. My insecurity has made me say things i regret. Any tips or suggestions to get over it? | I don't trust my friends with info on girls i like. |
t3_543zf1 | relationships | I [20M] would like some advice on contacting my half sister [19F] | Okay, so heres my situation. My mom and dad had me, my dad had an affair, ended up getting her pregnant. So my mom and dad got divorced. My half sister and I would go to our dads house on the weekends. She spent the weekends with us until she was about 6, then my dad burned that bridge really badly, basically told her mom I wont pay her child support, I don't care if I ever see her again. I continue to have a relationship with my dad and we haven't seen her since then. I know that her mother has a lot of hatred towards my dad, and I completely understand why she does, and I would understand if my sister does as well. I would really like to get to know my sister but I don't know how I should reach out to her. I recently found her on Facebook and she only lives about 10 miles away from me. I guess I would just like your guys advice on how i should approach this situation. Thank you! | Half sister probably hates dad, might hate me? |
t3_17ynve | tifu | TIFU by losing the company i work for $28k USD.. | I work as sales in a manufacturing/distributing company that sells paper and plastic products. Long story short, a distributor contacts me and is interested in spoons, requests prices, i give, and then orders. He gives me a card over email, which i should've suspected, but i didn't since it was a large amount of $$ and I'm based on commission. I try the card, and it works! We do two other transactions throughout the month, each card is under a different name and address... it all clears. Another stupid move on my part.
Today I am told the company that i've been working with is a fraud company, all the credit cards i've been using were stolen, and all the products are gone. Thankfully the last shipment we sent out was a local storage warehouse and we claimed about 8k back.. but still. PRETTY SHITTY. Atleast now i know I probably won't lose my job. | Accidently charged stolen credit cards up to $28k and shipped out products that are now gone. |
t3_2kmbiv | tifu | TIFU by helping open a bottle of wine | Technically last weekend, but typing has been painful. It had been a very long week, and Saturday finally came around. At some point during the day, we decided to try a new bottle of shiraz, just to congratulate ourselves on making it through the week without killing anyone. Normal stuff.
This freaking bottle of wine would not open.
The corkscrew went in fine but it seemed that the Incredible Hulk himself had jammed the cork into the bottle. I should probably mention now that we were using a pocket knife corkscrew. We both took turns trying to pull it out and finally, finally it began to give. At some point when my bf was struggling with the cork, I had put my hand under the bottle (the idea was to prevent it from breaking our very old, very cheap counter).
Well, Newton's third law stepped in, and as my bf yanked the cork out of the bottle he also slammed the bottle with equal force right down on my pinky. It didn't hurt much at first, but seconds afterward my pinky's lower joint had swollen enough to look like a toe joint.
A bruise that wraps around my entire pinky and a crapton of ice later, I've determined that it isn't broken (thank Buddha). But I'll be damned if I ever try to help open a stubborn bottle of wine again... | Paid for a glass of wine with the well-being of my left pinky |
t3_3dscx1 | relationships | Friend [34 M] with his girlfriend [33 F] for 1 year, relationship is great, but he isn't bonding with her son (from a previous relationship) | A friend of mine is in an LTR with a single mom with a 7 year old son from a previous relationship. They get along really well, but the kid is hard to deal with. My friend has a cat, and the kid routinely abuses the cat by pulling its tail and such. My friend scolds the kid, but the kid continues to do it.
The mother as I'm guessing she should, puts her son before my friend every time. It is as if his feelings don't matter, and it is all about her kid (she made with some other guy). She also has a problem with him scolding her son when the kid abuses the cat.
The son has been spending every night with his father, but his biological father wants the son to spend nights at my friends place instead. My friend refuses to allow the son to sleep over for a couple reasons. He doesn't want to be established as a step parent, and certainly doesn't want to be roped into financial obligations for this kid. The laws in Canada are tough for step parents, they can be responsible for child support (and will in this case since the biological father is broke).
How should my friend deal with this situation? General advice is appreciated. Should he allow the son to live with them? I'd like to know what single mom's think of this situation as well. | My friend is in an LTR with a single mother who's 7 year old son abuses their cat. |
t3_te73b | dating_advice | She's emotionally scared but doesn't want a nice guy? | Alright so hopefully this is in the right subreddit. If not then let me know so I can adjust accordingly. So there's this girl who I just recently started I guess you could say talking to. We're both 16 and I've only known her for about 3 weeks. Basically whats going on right now is that she likes me but she's too scared to date a guy yet she doesn't want a nice guy (What?). She also said that I'm inexperienced (never had a girlfriend) and that's unattractive. Now she's depressed because she got really sick (hospital trip worthy) yet only me and her best friend checked up on her. I have a hard time figuring out where the hell we are and she isn't being the easiest person to communicate with right now. So what should I do reddit? I want to prove to her that we can actually work and that she need not be scared. | talking" to a girl for 3 weeks, doesn't want to get in a relationship because she's scared but she doesn't want the kind of guy I am (nice). Goes to hospital and gets depressed because me and one other person were the only people to check up on her. I have no idea where we stand and she won't tell me. What do I do? |
t3_14a91l | relationships | 21F Is regularly sleeping with my ex 23 M a terrible idea? | We were together for about 10 months before i left to go on an exchange in Japan for a year. We broke up, and didn't plan to get back together when we were back, because I said no, though he seemed interested in the idea.
In my year away, I dated another guy for 6 months, and he dated another girl, Dana, for 9 months or so. I came back about 3 months ago, Dana was very jealous of our friendship, and for a variety of reasons they broke up recently.
We slept together once- when both of us were trashed, and when he was still dating Dana, about a week before they broke up. Yes, I know that was a very wrong thing to do. Now that they're broken up, we slept together again- I enjoy sex with him and would like to keep up a hook up buddy type of situation. He was extremely clear that he isn't interested in a relationship at this point, and I feel the same.
The complications: is it likely that feelings would grow back? There is also a bit of mixed messages- I told him I wanted to know if he was sleeping with someone else at the same time, he said he didn't really mind, but if he had to tell me, he wants me to tell him.
At times he has seemed jealous, even when he was dating Dana. When he found out I was seeing another guy from Dana, he instantly messaged me to find out if it was true, and if it was serious, saying that the only way we can remain friends is if I tell him right away if I get a boyfriend. He also said I should tell him well in advance, because he doesn't want to find out right before some party we both go to that my new boyfriend would be there.
He repeatedly asked about Paul (the guy I was seeing) and immediately points out when other guys hit on me,putting them down in the process. | Is it a bad idea to sleep with my exboyfriend regularly? Both of us are not looking for a relationship at this point, he occasionally seems a bit jealous, but is that something to worry about? |
t3_25d1zr | relationships | I [23m] think my friend [22m] doesn't actually like me, and is just being cordial, but I'm not sure how to verify it. | You know that guy at work that you don't like but you're just polite to him to avoid drama? This is what it is.
Peter and I met earlier this year and have partied a couple of times. Whenever I see him in the gym we always have a short chat about our weekends and plans for the upcoming one. Just a regular dude friendship.
Note: Last time I saw him (two weeks ago) he told me that "we should party sometime soon, it's been a while."
Three weeks ago I went on a date with Pete's friend, Valerie. It went well but there wasn't a second date. No big deal, it happens.
Last night I was texting Valerie about making plans this weekend regarding a large group of friends (hers and mine) and she mentioned that she thought about inviting Pete but "it would be awkward."
Now two things popped in my head: Pete and Val are dating, or Pete isn't actually that fond of me.
If it's the former, then it would be stupid as hell. I don't see Val like that anymore, so why would it be awkward if they're dating? It's not like Val and I slept with each other; hell, there wasn't even a kiss.
The latter is another story. I thought about texting Pete something like, "hey dude are we cool?", but I figured if he's been cordial and polite this whole time, he isn't looking for a confrontation and would just respond with, "yeah bro we're cool".
I tried prying it out of Val through text last night but she just started ignoring me. I asked her if she knew something I didn't and she said, "hahaha yeah probably". And that was it.
So what do I do now? | I have a suspicion that my friend isn't actually my friend, but my source is being childish and my 'friend' would probably just lie to me to avoid confrontation. |
t3_1pwktw | relationships | My GF [18/F] just told revealed something to me [M/17] what do I do? | I've been dating my current girlfriend for about 2 months. To begin the story, we have to travel back to before we were dating.
2 weeks into knowing her, she started talking to her ex boyfriend and they eventually hung out and did some sexual things (not sex, but along those lines). She told me the next morning and seemed very upset and genuinely apologetic. Except there's a problem. She told me that they only kissed. She didn't mention anything else they did.
Last night while we were on the phone, she told me everything that they actually did and I'm completely heartbroken. I feel lied to and cheated, but they did this before me and my girlfriend were even dating, and we barely knew each other. Today, I was extremely mad and upset and I told her how I felt about everything and it got her upset, so now we're basically mad at each other.
The problem is that I feel like I'm in the wrong. She didn't do it to hurt me and she didn't tell me everything they did because she wanted to protect my feelings and she didn't want to lose me because she knew that she really liked me. I really just want to call her and apologize and try to make everything okay, but I feel like what she did wasn't okay and I need to show her that she was wrong. I'm really conflicted and I just need some advice from you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read. | My current girlfriend hooked up with her ex-boyfriend before we started dating. She lied and said they didn't do anything more than kiss. Am I in the wrong for being mad/upset? |
t3_3u60me | relationships | I [18 M] need help making a decision with this opportunity. | So basically I've been working at this movie theater for roughly 8 months. Now there was a recent posting for a management position at another theater, under the same company. So I applied for it two weeks ago and last Friday I got a call for an interview. I was so excited but at the same time I was very doubtful of the position, if I did happen to get it.
I've been at my place for almost a year, I've made a lot of friends and I love everyone there. The thing is I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on. We have this "supervisor" position that's ahead of the normal employee, and before the management position. The problem here is it's going to be hard for me to move onto the manager role since I still feel I'm not ready.
I'm so close to becoming a supervisor at my current theater, even though it's below the manager rank but I know I would feel happy if I was supervising people I know and new employees at my home job. I don't know what to do, the pay raise is only about 3-4 more dollars. | Not sure if I should move up ahead to the manager role, because it'll feel different than my current place. |
t3_4gg52y | relationships | Am I [20M] over thinking things with the girl [19M] I just started seeing? | I started seeing a girl and we have been on two dates. We both just had a messy break up so we're both okay with things going slow, we haven't even kissed yet. So this passed weekend while I was out of town she went and slept with someone casually. I heard this from two other people, she hasn't told me about it.
The two people both said what she did was weird but not the end of the world, because we aren't technically committed to each other. But our intent was to eventually be serious if things worked out, so I'm kind of upset hearing all of this. Should I just drop everything with her? | Started seeing a girl, things were going slow but well, then she slept with someone else although we aren't technically committed or dating officially. |
t3_3s10ru | relationships | How to react when your girlfriend cancles on you? | Hello reddit, I am relatively new to the whole relationship thing and I am not sure how to behave in certain situations.
Me (20, M) and my girlfriend (20, F) have been dating for 2 months.
Yesterday we went shopping and had a nice day. Later she asked me via text if I want to watch a movie tomorrow.
Today I got a text that she is sorry but she forgot that she has an appointment with her dad to watch a movie.
She asked me if I would be pissed if we would reschedule.
Now, I know this is not a big deal but: What is the best way to react here.
- Say that it is totally cool or
- Say that I am a little pissed? Which I am actually because this is not the first time that something like that happen.
If you are wondering, I have a little behavioural disorder.
Thanks for the answers :) | my girlfriend canceled on me and I just want to know how to react properly. |
t3_3yx2pi | legaladvice | Hot tub repairs in Wyoming | Backstory: I purchased a hot tub from a local dealer. The hot tub came with an 8 year warranty. The hot tub has audio speakers in it. When we received the hot tub, the speakers worked for about 8 months an then they stopped working. Over the course of 1.5 years, one of the local dealer's repair people came to work on the hot tub. During that 1.5 years the repair person came to my home between 10 and 15 times (sometimes installing new parts) to work on the speakers. We never received a bill and the repair person never said there would be a charge for the repair. Recently, the repair person said, "We can order you new speakers." To which I replied, "I just want them to work." The repair person ordered new parts (including the speakers) and then came back to install them. This did repair the speakers and they are now working. About a month later I received a bill from the dealer for $997.00 for labor and replacement parts. Not once during the repair persons visits did they ever say there would be a charge (including the last 2 visits). Should I have to pay for the speakers/repair if there was a presumption that the repairs were covered under the warranty and if I didn't assent to ordering parts that would cost money? | Hot tub speakers broke and multiple attempted repairs over 1.5 years with no bill and then speakers replaced and dealer sends $997 bill. Hot tub has 8 year warranty and I only 3 years old. Should I have to pay for the speakers/repairs? |
t3_2r8ux6 | tifu | TIFU by losing my job. | A little information on me: I worked at a well known supermarket that has strict rules which include talking bad about the store on social media sites.
It all started last week, me phoning in ill. Now, I've been there for what was coming up for 2 years and I've only had 2 ill days before (Both genuine).
When I rang the sick number to say I wasn't coming in the guy on the other end was quite rude to me and ended up hanging up after I finished with my name and department. Me, being me decided I should tell Facebook how I dislike the people who are higher than me at this store due to majority of them being rude, then finishing my status with a rude word. So I go into work the next day and am instantly led of to the offices where I get questioned for 10 minutes or so and then sent out the room for them to decide my fate. After about 5 minutes I get called back into the room and get told I am being suspended until I can have a chat with someone higher than the person performing this chat.
So today I get called back in and go through the same procedure to be told I am being given the sack without any pay. Bummer. | Sacked from work due to my stupidity and someone on my Facebook being a grass. Sad times. |
t3_qjdrx | AskReddit | At scientific crossroads... | I'm a community college student one semester away from transferring to a university. I have all of my credits needed to transfer into chemistry, physics, or any of the engineering schools. I was originally a chemistry major intended on getting a PhD. I decided to switch to chemical engineering, because PhD level chemists, from what I've gathered, do not make a lot of money and must complete a lot of coursework (aka: Debt). My physics professor told me I have a desire to learn and a curiosity associated with physicists more than chemists. I've just never considered physics, because I've gotten B's in all of my calculus and physics courses, and I was a C student in math coming out of high school. To be quite honest, I have an interest in many intellectual endeavors including literature, music, and film. I'm also a very curious skeptic and I like to the progress emerging in the scientific community. | I have many possible science majors but I'm not quite sure which one I'll like. Would anyone shed light on this? |
t3_2csmd6 | relationships | Me [32 M] with my wife [33 F]of 10 years. Life is great except the BS mind games my scumbag brain plays on me | I posted this is /r/sex but this may be a better place
I want to start off by saying I know I am in the wrong and it's all me. Now that being said I have to get this off my chest if for the only reason to see if someone else out there feels the way I do
I am insanely jealous of my wife's past. Yes, you heard me my wife. My wife who I have been married to for 10 years and known since high school. She was my first love. My first everything really. It was not mutual. I remember talking to her in high school about her boyfriend who she reffered to as a tree because he was so stupid and would hear stories about all the blowjobs he wanted. Then her freshman year of collage how she lost her virginity to some other guy who was short lived and never called her back after. Shortly after that breakup we started dating. It was magical. I was the first guy to treat her right and she was the first girl to even know I existed. Crazy huh. We dated and got married. Children, house, the whole package. She is so awesome. But I get these intense feelings of jealously lately. I have never been excited about her past but it never we mattered to me. How can you blame someone for their past, besides she's with me now. However I still get these feelings. Worse than I have ever before. She gives me no reason to feel them. Never talks about her ex's or anything. I spend all day telling myself how stupid I am. How there are so many reasons to ignore this trash in my brain. But all I can think of his her blowing these guys all the time. It's almost driving me nuts.
I am not looking for advice per say, since I realize it's all in my mind and not her at all. I guess I just want to know if these feelings are shared by anyone here. Or maybe writing is a way of dealing with my mental issues. Idk | jealous as hell, not affecting anything but my own sanity. Am I alone in this) |
t3_kejl1 | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever been in some sort of danger and an animal came to your rescue? | I remember when i was young, myself and my neighbour were walking my dog. We were at the top of our street walking back home when this big Chocolate Lab ran at me and decked me to the ground and started to profusely hump the living shit out of me (dogs see this as a way of announcing their dominance, not always sexual). My small Cocker Spannel, Mollie, goes fucking ape shit. She charges at this monster of a dog and rams it with a new found Doggy Rage off of me and starts barking like she just had chilli sauce rubbed on her asshole. This then leads to the owner giving me shit, to which i respond "Your dog just practically raped me, my dog was only stopping your dog".
We then left home and showered Mollie with more pats than any dog could ask for! :) | Dog stopped me from being 'raped'. |
t3_3fju1z | relationships | Me [19 M] with my GF [18F] Just over one month, We live a distance apart and go to different colleges and school starts soon. | Hello Reddit,
I have been with my girlfriend for a short time and things have been great until recently. We went to a concert together and had lots of fun but the day after when we were hanging out at her house she seemed really distant. When it was time for me to leave we hugged for a really long time. I couldn't help tearing up cause I love her and she loves me but when I said "I love you" she didn't say it. She has said it before a lot. Then my best friend told me that she texted him saying she was thinking of breaking up with me. I just need some advice on what to do. | Girlfriend who lives a two hour drive away told my best friend shes thinking of breaking op with me because the distance is putting a strain on things. I am asking for some advice on what to do. |
t3_bmgh0 | AskReddit | Starting over at 22 | Alright reddit, I come from a seriously disordered and crappy family and I wasted a lot of time in my previous years working and wasting time. I am determined to be a man and cut the crappy habits and live life. However I am way behind my peers.
I am currently doing a chem major, I changed my major earlier and I currently have less than 3 years to graduate. By that time I'll be 25 and would have nothing except my degree to show. I speak 2 other languages (Russian, Arabic) and I am pretty fit and reasonably intelligent (read a lot). But I cannot fathom that I'll spend 3 years studying while barely advancing in anything else. | I am starting at 22 with nothing, but I want to maximize my potential. And feel good about it.. |
t3_1vsj6h | relationships | Bf [30] of almost 1.5 years gave me f[25] the same gift he gave a woman that he had a year long affair with when he was married. How guilty am I for being weird about it? | He told me this long story when we first started about his marriage and affair. In this story he told me he began cheating on his ex wife after making his interest known to another woman. The affair began by him giving her a very nice pen, as she was a writer. After he did they began hooking up.
Today is our year and several month anniversary (yes I know it's supposed to mean once per year) and I am also a writer. He gave me a very nice pen.
I have a problem with not shutting up when I should have. So I opened it, and unfortunately the first thing that came into my head is the story he told me about how he started his affair. So I smiled, and said thank you. But I guess I had a bit of an expression, so he asked me if I liked it. I told him it's beautiful, but that it made me think of the gift he gave that woman.
I guess, it makes me feel less special that he gave me the same gift.
He's upset that I "ruined" it. I can see how my reaction could make him feel like he can't do anything right. I know I should be grateful, and I am actually, it's just what popped into my head and out of my mouth when he asked me what's up. I'm not a materialistic person by any means and would have been happy to celebrate with no gift. I wasn't actually expecting or wanting anything special for the day, aside from spending a nice evening together. (Which now I seem to have ruined).
How do I go about fixing this? How valid are my feelings?
I apologised already, but he's still upset with me. | it's really not that long of a post, please just read it. |
t3_1fj52w | AskReddit | What is your strangest "What the fuck was that?" moment? | About two years ago, my roommates and I were having a party in our apartment. Our neighbors came over (two girls) and they were all dressed up for some reason. I was talking to one of them while eating my dinner, which was probably ramen noodles because I'm a broke ass college kid. When I was about done eating I happened to look at her ear and seen that she was missing a small hoop earring. We looked in the couch, on the floor, anywhere it could possibly be and had no luck. She just went back to her place and put in a new pair and didn't think anything else of it.
The next day, I was hungover and had to drop some nasty liquor logs. Whilst on the toilet relieving myself of the demon that resided in my bowels, I happened to hear a "clink" in the bottom of the bowl. I instantly though to myself "holy shit, I ate her earring". I turned around and looked and sure enough there was a silver hoop shaped thing covered in poop at the bottom of the bowl. I figured she wouldn't want it back and I really didn't want to fish it out, so I flushed it and then went to text her the news. I started by saying "I think I found your earring". I shortly got a text back saying "I don't think it's mine, I found mine in my shower". I told her what had happened to me that morning and then was left with the question "what the fuck did I poop out?" | I thought I ate my neighbor's earring and pooped it out, but it wasn't hers. |
t3_4yoftp | relationships | I[16F] am in love with one of my best friends [17M] who somewhat recently broke up with his girlfriend | I've liked him for a while but it has started to turn into love. I think he knows I like him (I'm not very good at hiding it) but I don't think he knows just how much.
He recently broke up with his girlfriend who he was with for a few months. Their relationship was no the rocks for a while (for many reasons) so he ended it.
We've been hanging out a lot recently with other friends around, but the last time we hung out our other friend that was with us fell asleep. While they were asleep we started having a pretty deep and personal conversation. I started crying and he got a little choked up(which was very rare for him) and he held me until i started to calm down. Then he drove me home.
We haven't hung out in about a week (we were every other day). So now I think he feels bad about making me cry. But I mainly made myself cry, and I'm worried he thinks it was his fault.
We have texted in the past week but I'm the one who starts the conversation. Its usually just dumb jokes, puns and emojis. I've mentioned that I want to hang out again but he just kinda brushed it off and changed the subject. | I am in love with one of my best friends who somewhat recently broke up with his girlfriend. I dont know wat to do. |
t3_2h0sfa | relationships | My [18 M] girlfriend [17 F] of over 3,5 years just told me she isn't in love with me anymore. | First off, I'm not a native speaker so I apologise for all errors in this text.
So yesterday my girlfriend came over for the night, but just after dinner she said we needed to talk. This week has already been a pretty rough week and I kind of felt this all coming. We went to my room and sat down on my couch. There she told me that she still loves me, but isn't in love with me anymore.
I already thought something was going on, because lately she has been very distant and acting increasingly annoyed by the things I do.
She told me that I am the greatest guy and that she feels like shit for it, but she can't be in a relationship with me without actually being in love.
Well, this conversation lasted for a bit, and in the end she wanted us to take a break. She doesn't want to see other people or anything, she just needs to think. I really don't want our relationship to end, she is my first serious girlfriend and we've been through so much...
I decided to agree with a 2 week to 1 month break, but I feel really empty and I just don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend really much, and I know that the feeling of being in love fades. In my case it fades but it comes back at times and it's almost never gone completely.
I keep checking my phone to see if she sent me a message. I just want to be with her. | My girlfriend and I are having a break because she isn't in love with me anymore, but she still loves me. I don't know what to do. |
t3_4aadyj | tifu | TIFU by using a tampon. [NSFW] | This did not happen today but a week ago.
On one particular day when the red tide was more gushing than trickling, I decided to use a tampon instead of a usual pad. So, since it's never a good idea to keep one up in your vajayjay for too long, I headed into the bathroom to change it. This is where the fuck up happens.
I hovered over the toilet bowl and reached down to pull the string to take the little sucker out. I must have pulled too hard since the tampon *flew* out from underneath me... and the momentum of it leaving my body caused this gigantic piece of bloody uterine lining *thing* to fly from between my legs and land on the soft, creamy bathroom rug in front of me.
So there I was, crouched over the toilet, a tampon dangling from my fingers, my pants down to my ankles, staring mortified at the quickly staining rug in the bathroom *that I share with my roommates*.
And in my haste to clean up the mess, I *rubbed* the stain instead of *dabbing* it with water. | the bathroom rug looks like something died on it since I changed my tampon. :( |
t3_322yof | tifu | TIFU by trying to rekindle things with a possible psychotic ex. | Unlike most posts, happened today. This is a throwaway though. She'll probably find it if I use my main account.
Anyways, for the past week I've been trying to rekindle things with an ex. Told her I liked her and she was taken aback and said she had a boyfriend then she confessed her love to me. That was on Friday (April 3rd, 2015).
She's broken up with her boyfriend since then.
Today, she said:
Her: Can I tell you something?
Me: Sure
Her: I got back together with my boyfriend
Me: I figured (she's been acting weird.)
.....
Her: I don't love you, haven't for awhile lol.
Me: Why did you say you did?
Her: Revenge. Revenge for dumping me 2 years ago (we dated for a month, I thought we ended on good terms)
arguments had happened, shit was said. Mean things from her, didn't want to say rude things. She said we've never had a friendship, she hasn't even liked me as a friend, etc,.
Her: jk lol. I still love you.
Her: gotta go, goodnight. I love you ttyl.
she did get back together with her boyfriend though. | ex made revenge for me dumping her then said it was a joke. |
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