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t3_ha116 | AskReddit | Recipe for disaster? | So today, for a totally unprovoked reason, I decided to whip up a random dessert for the halibut. They're called "Oatmeal Rage Cookies", pretty basic stuff I just borrowed ideas off the Internets with my own little personal touches. They're currently baking as I typed this, and the outcome is completely unknown, it'll either be a hit or miss.
Anyone else do this regularly or just sometime ago? Tell me your culinary conquest, did it succeed? Or was it a spawn you had to silence immediately? I'll be updating the results soon enough...
Also, Incase anyone wants my crappy recipe PM me or w/e and ill tell you it. (It's really nothing special, I suck at cooking). | I made Oatmeal Rage Cookies, do they suck? I don't know yet! |
t3_tl17v | AskReddit | A few years ago I got fucking furious at a funeral but didn't want to start a scene. What's the maddest you've been but couldn't do anything? | Several years ago my uncle was diagnosed with tongue cancer. He went through radiation and chemo but he just continued to get worse. My uncle was living with his girlfriend at the time and they lived about an hour away from where my mom and I lived. One day bitch girlfriend, we'll call her Molly, says once you're done with your next round of radiation you're out. My dad who lived further away couldn't help his brother, my grandma was out of town when this happened, the closest person to help was my mom. My mom didn't get along with my uncle always but she is an awesome person so she picked him up and dropped him off and waited for him to get his treatments. Keeping him company and in good spirits while he still temporarily had a home. Meanwhile Molly had already gotten a new boyfriend and several times they had to wait for new boyfriend to leave Molly's before he could enter the house. Eventually my uncle learned there was nothing more he could do and was admitted into hospice care. My mom took it upon herself to move the bed into our house because now he didn't want to be anywhere near Molly. My uncle passed and at the funeral everyone that knew my uncle was thanking my mom for helping him out, even Molly's old boss. In the lounge area, Molly is sobbing to her mom, not about my uncle but rather how no one is paying her any attention or thanking her for this. She was pissed at my mom "for getting all the attention" that day. This was said in front of me and my other uncle. I wasn't about to say something and cause a scene at a funeral but I was piping mad.
What's your similar story? | My uncle got cancer and got kicked out of his girlfriend's house, my mom takes him to treatments and gives him a place to say. Girlfriend at funeral mad at my mom because no one praised her. |
t3_36m17j | tifu | TIFU By accidentally punching my martial arts instructor in the face | As usual, this did not happen today, but a couple of weeks ago.
I have been doing a martial art called "tang soo" for a couple of years, and was recently promoted to an adult class. Being a 16 year old boy, this was a big thing for me, and my family were very proud. But anyway, onto the story:
One day, after an intense warmup, my instructor thought it would be a good idea to do some partner work. Since I am still a kid, the other adults are not allowed to actually punch or kick me, but I am encouraged to attempt to hit them because they will usually be able to block. Since I did not have a partner, my instructor offered to be with me. I accepted and we started exchanging punches and kicks. I of course did not get a single hit in, until I decided to do an incredibly powerful punch to the face. So I went in for a knee to the waist, then while she was occupied, I went in for the punch. My fist hit her straight in the nose, and she screamed and stumbled back, holding her nose as blood poured out. After a lot of apologising, some other adults noticed and came over and helped her up. She then started crying and her nose started bleeding even more, and I could tell the entire class was judging me.
After the class the instructor assured me it was fine, but she was in obvious pain, and she had a massive bruise on her nose. | Went full ninja and took down my black belt karate instructor, without thinking of the consequences |
t3_vdcmf | AskReddit | Anyone here ever done a trunk show? | So a trunk show is for the optical industry, where we pretty much have a frames rep and a lens rep bring in all their frames and lenses to show them to patients after they have an eye exam. It's meant to be a specialty fitting type of showing where patients will be fit with multiple pairs with many options based on what they use the glasses for, i.e. all purpose, computer, sunglasses, etc.
Well here's my questions: What would be the reason to do one in mid August? We don't want to do a back to school type of thing, but what happens in August that would be a good occasion to come in to purchase glasses? We have plenty of patients who would love to come in and look at new frames, but we just don't know how to market it.
Thanks! | Need help marketing a special type of "sale" for an optometry practice in mid August. |
t3_4mpygn | offmychest | 22 and still doing all the chores around the house... | Coming back from college is always a hassle for me. I always find seasonal internships and jobs because I want to build my resume and find a good job after graduation. But, it has been extremely hard to handle my family and work at the same time. It frustrates me to no end that my family just seems lazy as fuck when I get home from college. I end up cooking dinner everyday, wash the dishes everyday, vaccum and mop the floor once a week, hang the whole family's laundry every week (trust me, there's a fucking lot. It takes me about an hour to finish everyone's laundry), and handle my parent's various tasks that they need help with. This can go from checking my mom's bank statements for her everyday, helping my mom with glitches on her phone(she doesn't know how to message or shut off wifi), and help my dad pay all his bills online. I literally feel like my family has just stacked all their work on me whenever I come back from college and it fucking irks me so much. I come from an asian family so trust me when I say that no one cares when I complain that I have too much work. On top of all this shit, I'm about to work 2 internships that will take up 60-70 hours a week of my time and my family will still be lazy as shit because they know I'm around the house. I have a older sister who does not help with ANY of these fucking chores and my dad may help cook 2 or 3 times a week. This is fucking frustrating as fuck... I can't wait to graduate college and move the fuck out. | Family has me doing all the chores around the house even when I'm about to start 2 summer jobs. It's like they don't even care that I have so much work on my plate. Frustrated as shit. |
t3_48lgw7 | relationships | Me [31 M] with my ex [30F] of 7 years, having a hard time with how much I miss them after several years. | I was in a relationship for roughly 9 years and all through most of my adulthood with my ex. The relationship itself was always rocky due to my ADHD and intermittent depression. We tried to remain friends during the breakup for many months but eventually had to minimize contact. I eventually decided it was best for me to just avoid all contact a year ago.
During this time I was finally able to address my ADHD and depression in a way with proper support, medication and lack of stress. I finally took care of myself and started turning around all of the things that had went sideways in my life. I'd been dating and everything feels for the most part good.
So now...I'm struggling because I'm mostly happy. And for the first time in years not overwhelmed.. I find myself thinking about my life the last time I felt happy. Its kinds like, even though i should br happy nothing seems to matter as much as with my ex. I find myself finally able to explain the depression and ADHD impacts on my life..and Im filled with regret for not being able to have figured it out with my ex. It bothers me deeply that i felt the way i did and wssnt ever able to explain why/how add broke my intentions. We've chatted a few times and there is alot more understanding of the situation then ever before and it just feels good. I don't really feel like I want to date them again...but I also know that talking to them makes me feel more alive and happy then any of the people I've dated since. It's like...I don't want to be with them that way...but I feel sick not having them in my life. | I have a strong desire to rekindle a friendship but I'm afraid that I might actually be in love with them after years. Is it possible to build a healthy relationship and not fall in love with them again? How can I be sure that's not really what I want.? |
t3_28gyw1 | Parenting | Moms: I'm Making Jewelry for My Mom, Aunts, and Grandma - Could I Have a Little Help? | So, I found out this past weekend that I can make jewelry (bracelets, rings, necklaces) using handwriting. The women in my family are super close, and we get together every August. I am looking to make some kind of group necklace/bracelet/ring/anklet/whatever for all of us, but I'm only 20 and don't have a great idea of what my mom and grandma and aunts would ACTUALLY like to wear. All of the daughters in the family are in on it, and we are all young'uns looking for advice.
So Moms, tell me, if you don't mind: would you be excited to wear a necklace or bracelet of your name (or your last name? or your daughter's name? or initials?) handwritten by your daughter? Would you prefer to wear your own handwriting? Any style preferences (size, material, etc?) | To you, what is the most meaningful way to combine wearable handwriting+the mother/daughter/family bond? Thanks so much! |
t3_1l4izx | pettyrevenge | You Don't Bully My Kids And Get Away With It | A few weeks ago my son (11) and daughter (9) were outside playing in our yard. They run in and tell me that a group of boys (around the same age as mine) keep coming into the yard and bugging them. I give the kids the usual mom response and basically tell them to ignore them. After the kids go back outside I peek out the window to see what is going on.
I see 5 boys walking by. They give my kids the finger and call them names. One of them walks into the yard and kicks my daughters barbie. Another kid says that his Dad is a member of the township board so he's allowed to go into any yard he wants. (The kids dad just shows up at township meetings and complains all of the time. He is not a member of the board.) Then they walk away to make another trip around the block. My daughter is so pissed off at this point that her hands are in fists and I'm worried (or maybe hopeful) that she is going to hit one of the kids.
Here's where it gets petty. I call my kids inside and hand them each a bag of cotton candy that I had left over from the fair. The bags are huge and I know I'm going to have to deal with the after math of them consuming to much sugar but I don't care at this point. I send them back outside to enjoy their treat. Then sit and wait for the revenge to happen.
Of course the kids walk by again but before they can say anything my son yells "Look What I Got" and holds up his bag of cotton candy. The boys are all the sudden friendly and ask if they could have some. My son smiles and shakes his head, but my daughter being the sweet and forgiving girl that she is, is thinking about it. That's when I stick my head out the door and say "You can't share any of that. I don't know if there parents will let them have it." Then I look at the boys and say "Unless you want to give me there phone numbers so I can ask." Of course they all say no, lower their heads and shuffle their feet as they walk away. | A bunch of young boys pick on my kids, I give my kids cotton candy to eat in front of them and tell them they are not allowed to share. |
t3_4q8h6l | relationships | I [21 M] am worried about asking my girlfriend [22 F] of 3 years to screen for Chlamydia. | So last year I made the dumbest mistake of my life by cheating on my girlfriend. Karma gave me the full deserved consequence of infecting me with chlamydia. I admitted my blunder to my girlfriend, along with the fact that I had been diagnosed with an STD, and we both received the proper treatment. After both getting clean negative results, and a couple months of drama, my girlfriend graciously accepted my apology and I have earned her trust back and everything in our relationship has thrived.
Fastforward to last week: I went to the doctor for a regular checkup on my heart, and he saw on my patient history that I had been previously diagnosed with an STD. The doctor told me that it would be smart of me to have another STD screening because chlamydia can apparently survive in the stomach... I thankfully received a negative test result, however I am more than concerned that if it were possible for me to have still chlamydia in my system, then it is just as likely for my girlfriend to have it again as well.
I obviously want to tell my girlfriend to get screened if this is the case, but I am terrified that she will assume I am asking her to get screened because of another cheating blunder. Is there a way I can handle this without further risking damage of my relationship?
Thank you! | Cheated on girlfriend and got diagnosed with chlamydia last year. After both getting treated and slowly repairing our relationship, my doctor informed me that chlamydia can survive in the stomach. Tested again, came back negative. How do I ask my girlfriend to get screened again without her thinking I have cheated on her? |
t3_44hn61 | relationships | I (27M) have an probleme where I constantly wait for my SO (22F) to "make it right" after an argument, and she does the same, so it just gets bigger. | So for example she'll say something that I don't like, but being the introvert that I am I find it difficult to just outright tell her "I didn't like that", I just keep it to myself and I start feeling/being/looking down because of it. All the while I'm waiting for her to notice this and talk to me or something. But what actually happens is that my attitude will in turn affect her and she won't say it because she thinks i'm ignoring her, which makes it even worse for both of us until a big argument breaks.
This happens both ways by the way. Sometimes she'll be the one having an issue with something I said or did but she would just wait for me to notice it, and... you know how it goes.
This doesn't happen that much, but it's an issue and we're both aware of it and we'd like to do something about it. | I keep waiting for my SO to notice that I'm feeling bad, which makes her feel bad and wait for me to notice her feeling bad, until KABOOM! |
t3_13626h | BreakUps | What is a proper time to wait after divorcing to start dating? (me: 29m / ex: 26f) | I was suggested to post this here instead of over at /r/relationships -
I won't get into the whole divorce part, I'll just say that it was mutual and we are still friends. We were together for six years, and the divorce has been within the past month.
That aside, what is a healthy amount of time to wait to start dating again? Part of me is afraid of being alone and I *want* to start dating, but I know it's not a good idea to rush into another relationship, and I'm not looking for another relationship any time soon.
I'm just trying to get some feelers so that when I have a lonely night and I want to go find a girlfriend, I can tell myself "no, you should wait _____ to make sure you don't rush into anything". | it's really not that long. |
t3_2hwdru | relationships | My [19F] girlfriend doesn't believe I'm [18M] over my ex. | I've been dating my current girlfriend for three weeks now and it's going well. However, I am returning to my hometown this coming weekend, and I'm taking an ex[17F] to my old High School's Homecoming dance. I had promised my ex's older sister, who is a very good friend if mine, that I would do this. I don't break promises I make.
I only dated this ex for two weeks, and we broke up due to not really being compatible. We are still good friends, but I hold no romantic feelings for her.
My girlfriend, who I told last week, insists that I still have feelings for my ex, because "Why else would you take her to Homecoming." I've told her about the promise I made, but she doesn't understand. I've tried to make her understand that I'm only taking my ex as a friend, but she doesnt understand this either.
How can I convince her that I don't have any feelings for my ex? | Girlfriend thinks I still have feelings for an ex, but I don't. |
t3_n6m22 | GetMotivated | Stuck in a two week rut... | Help me out, wolves.
I've been neglecting uni work again (3rd year now) so been under fairly constant strain to keep up appearances with essays, extra curricular stuff, job applications and some semblance of a social life. I missed out last year on a load of internships and shit due to just being so apathetic or scared to apply, and it's happening this time around as well. Then around 3 weeks ago, I was on antibiotics and heavy painkillers for a while, from then on i've just been a total recluse. Not really left the house, wake up everyday at 2PM, then piss away the time until I sleep.
Motivating myself to do things has become increasingly hard. I sit down to work, and literally can't force my finger to click on the link for work I have to do, whilst facebook, reddit, others get endless amount of time. An hour ago, I went on to finish a job application which was 90% done, and the deadline had past a few hours before. The thing was, *I knew it was going to happen*, and somehow I'd just formed a mental block against doing anything about it.
So now I'm just fucking frustrated as myself for being such an arsehole and frittering away my time uselessly. There's a party later on tonight, and I feel like going just to get pissed and not think of the things I have to do. But then again, I really want to get back on track...Just can't seem to find the way to do it. | emo, angsty 20 year old has multiple first world problems and would like some help/advice/words of encouragement/anything |
t3_zzw6x | tifu | TIFU by drinking my own piss. | I'm your typical, neck-bearded, loner redditor. This means I spend an unhealthy amount of time alone down in my basement, PC gaming, redditing... you get the idea.
Occasionally, I will bring a large bottle of drink downstairs so I don't have to produce effort and actually go upstairs to get one. On this occasion, I had a 46 Oz bottle of apple juice with me. So, late at night sitting next to an empty bottle and having a full bladder, I thought of the most time-saving idea yet - pee in the empty bottle.
I managed to justify it to myself - "No one would know if they saw it because it looks like Apple juice", and "I'll empty it as soon as I go upstairs".
So I do the deed, relax, go on the internet for a few hours and then retire to my bed chamber, telling myself i'll empty it in the morning. Morning comes, I go to school. I get back from school. I rush down to my basement and it subconsciously registers in my mind that there is apple juice by my seat. I pick it up, bring it up to my lips and swig some.
It took me a few moments to realize that something was up, but I kind of went into shock when I did. I spat the remaining fluid back into the bottle, and kinda just sat there, mouth open, not moving. For anyone wondering, it basically tastes like it smells but with an astounding amount of salt - almost an uncomfortable amount. I have amazing respect for Mr Grylls.
So I run upstairs, still with my mouth open and vigorously scrub it with copious amounts of water and mouthwash. It took a while to get the lingering taste out - But nothing can remove the shame.
I tried some apple juice a few minutes ago, and it tastes just like piss. It's probably a subconscious thing, but I will still be avoiding it in the future. | Pissed in an apple juice bottle, forgot about it then took a swig of day old urine. |
t3_40pgck | relationships | My [19m] girlfriend [19f] resents me being at college and trys to manipulate me | My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months. She lives and works about 30 minutes from my house and I'm away at college roughly 2.5 hours away. She resents me going to school because she wishes she was. She's rather demanding and since she doesn't have a car, I have to drive always to see her. After the summer ended and I went back to school, I was very busy studying engineering and didn't have time to come home at Halloween and she got mad, went and partied and then tried to make me jealous. At Christmas time I had health issues and one day we were going to hang out, I went to the doctor and they ended up drawing blood till I passed out. I then was dizzy the rest the guy and she got mad and wouldn't really talk to me for a couple days. Frequently throughout the fall she would get mad at me for no reason and wouldn't talk to me basically at all and she refused to Skype or talk on the phone because it'd be 'too difficult and make her too emotional'. Since I went back to school, things have gotten worse and I tried talking about our issues and all she did was blame me like she usually does until I said I was tired of it and wanted to end it. I admitted I had made mistakes and wasn't blaming it all on her. Then she said it was all her fault and wants to try again. I'm not sure things will actually get better, but I'd like to believe they could. But given she just yelled at me all last term, I'm skeptical. And now it's as if she's trying to bribe me into staying with her and telling me it'd crush her and she'd feel awful if I left her. | girlfriend resents me going to college, manipulates me into feeling bad for her all the time, then tells me it'd basically kill her when I tried to break up with her and she won't talk other than over text because it's' too difficult'. Not sure what to do. |
t3_3543i9 | relationships | [21F] I Tested Positive, Afraid to Tell Boyfriend [21M] | I tested positive for an STD. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months, I'm afraid of telling him because I don't want him to break up with me. I've known this for a couple weeks now and I don't know how to tell him, or if I should. I feel really guilt but I don't want to run the risk of him wanting to leave me or something. I love him a lot and our personalities and interests are exactly the same, I've never felt a connection like this with anyone else ever before and I don't want to ruin it. What can I do? | I tested positive, afraid to tell my boyfriend because I think he might break up with me. |
t3_1rgwm9 | needadvice | Was recently banned from the mall for getting into a physical altercation - ban lasts one year. My mom is insisting that I go shopping with her this Friday. | I'm 22 years old, basically in September I had a bad case of road rage in the lot and ended up getting into a minor altercation with a guy. My picture was taken and was told that I'm banned for one year - I can be arrested for trespassing.
Here is where it gets complicated, I work for a big department store in their corporate office - I get the employee discount and my mom wants to go xmas shopping with me so she can get the extra % off. She's pissed off at me because I keep refusing to go shopping.. I have no idea what to do. | got banned from mall, mom doesn't know or understand why I don't want to go with her. |
t3_3fys5d | cats | Two kittens from shelter, worried one plays too rough (other smaller kitten usually ends up being bitten and meowing mercy) | Is this normal part of socializing the kittens? One kitten is 3 months and the other kitten is 4 months. The 4 month old is noticeably bigger and usually winds up on top of the smaller one nipping at her tail or legs. It gets fairly aggressive to the point where the smaller one has to cry out.
Just worried. We just picked them up from the shelter today so we are leaving them in the bathroom as they get acquianted with their new surroundings. These are our first cats, so possibly this is a foolish question -- but any advice is welcome!!
Should we separate the two kittens. They shared a cage at the shelter and were fine - so I imagine this is just them playing rough. | two female kittens, larger one plays very rough with smaller one, shared cage in shelter, should we be concerned about leaving them alone together in the bathroom while we are at work/sleeping. |
t3_357jzs | tifu | TIFU by texting an ex | This is a throwaway account and I just wanted to share the story.
This was around 2 years ago though.
So one day I was chilling on my phone on 9gag when I saw a picture that reminded me of her so I sent it to her and didn't really care about if she responded or not, but she did. So we started having a normal conversation until 'I had to' go to gym, where she said she thinks I'll look so hot running and sweating and she said she liked me again (she lost interest in me first and therefore took the break-up pretty badly) and I was gullible enough to believe her but then a few minutes later, she said it was HER FRIEND on her phone and not her which means I was telling her friend that I still liked my ex and that I still wanted to be with her. Luckily her friend never told anyone (hopefully) and I'm ok. | Never text an ex. |
t3_2pdk3c | tifu | TIFU by trying to use sign language | Let's start off with some background information. Being a senior in high school I work at a fast food restaurant and every few weeks a deaf gentleman will come in to order food.
Yesterday he graced us with his presence again and one of the managers on duty actually knew some sign language to take his order.
While she was taking his order I was trying to learn a little bit here and there and at the very end she showed me how to say "Thank you".
Now if you aren't aware the way to say "Thank you" is extremely similar to how you say "Fuck". The only difference is where you start your hand at.
Obviously you can tell what happens next.
With a big smile on my face I basically tell this guy "Fuck you". He gives me this face that is a mix of hurt and surprise and my manager starts signing something ferociously that I couldn't make out.
I'm standing there confused when my other manager tells me what I just said.
That's when I made an even bigger ass out of myself.
I start saying sorry repeatedly in a rather loud voice while waving my hands like an idiot. That's when he starts looking extremely scared and I realize I'm screaming sorry at a guy who can't hear me.
My manager showed me how to say sorry and he kept saying that it was ok and to not worry about it, but I will never sign again. | Told a deaf guy fuck you instead of thank you then proceeded to scream sorry at him and freaked him out more. |
t3_2udutf | relationships | Me [22 M] with my fiance [21 F] of 7 years had a argument that brought out the demons of our relationship. Now I don't know where I stand. | When me and my fiance first started dating, our relationship was fraught with problems. I'd never been the type to live for another person. I'd always done what I wanted, how I wanted. My close friends supported me as I was, no questions asked.
I met my fiance and things changed, or at least I thought they did. I gave her my everything. I never opposed her requests, even when she asked me to give up my friends. I thought I could do it but I never did. I lied to her, often. I told her I was at home and I was with them. I told her that I had cut other women out of my life, I hadn't. I had good friends who were women and I'm still friends with them to this day. I always lied to her and she found out.
She got strict and demanding. I felt suffocated and I didn't know who I was anymore. I left her. She cried and asked me to take her back but I told her I had to work on myself first.
Months passed and I finally felt renewed. I had rekindled my relationships that I had left and I was making decisions for me alone. But she came back into my life. I took her back thinking we had both changed, we thought we did.
Tonight three years since that time, I realized I had been lying to her again. She hates people who drink alcohol and I realized I had been drinking behind her back. I had been doing things without her knowledge and purposely leaving them out.
I have always cared for her but I again started to feel suffocated. I've never meant to hurt her. I've always wanted her to know who I am and what I do but for the fear of losing the relationship, I became who I used to be. Now she knows again. | I don't know who I am supposed to be with her. The selfish asshole who's happy or the depressed saint. I can't live between the lines. I just don't know who I am and who I'm supposed to be with her. What do you think I'm supposed to be? |
t3_25k3v1 | relationships | Update to being a 19/f with a crush on a guy friend, who (wrongly) assumed I was guy friend-zoned! Happy news mostly. | Update to this thread:
Mostly posting this update cause a couple people asked me to in the last thread. Anyways, so it ended up that I couldn't say much to the guy I liked till fairly late in the year, due to circumstances beyond my control. Anyways, I did end up telling him a couple days before I left for summer which was bad timing, but he asked me on a coffee date. It was nice but a little awkward, since we were friends it kind of just felt like hanging out. However, he must have realized it was awkward because he asked me to come over to study later that evening, which turned into talking and cuddling and a bit more :)
He told me he had been hesitant to act on his feelings for me because one of my other guy friends apparently also has feelings for me and he didn't want to ruin the group dynamic or make that friend uncomfortable. However, he said he has pretty much liked me since he met me and was really happy I said something, though the timing was pretty poor.
I won't see him for quite a long time so we didn't agree to date or be anything more than friends for now, but I am happy I did what I did and I thank everyone from the last thread who told me to man up- I regret nothing except not telling him sooner so I could have had more than a couple days with him. :) | I manned up, told him and he liked me back. We are just friends for now but I am happy with the things that have transpired. |
t3_2eci7j | relationships | I'm [21 M] unsure of how to proceed with my friend [28 F] who I like. Intimidated by age gap. | Hi, I've recently met a friend at University. I think I may be developing feelings for her, but I'm intimidated by the difference in age between us.
Though we're peers in the student sense, and at about the same point in our studies, she is independent while I still live at home and has a much more active social life than myself. Regardless of the response if I explain myself I'd be fine with being friends. I genuinely like her as a person.
Additionally, I hadn't learned of the difference until she took me to lunch on my 21st birthday and a cashier at a specialty shop asked if there was any special occasion. Replied with birthday (yadda yadda) and she asked my friend her age as well. I was surprised at the discovery and the cashier expressed she thought our ages would have been reversed. Also, she has mentioned that I act older than I am on a few occasions but has shared stories of a friend of hers (same age) who refuses to date guys as young as I am. Though I'm not that great at signs I feel good about the potential that exists, but this difference is looming over my head and actions.
Is my hesitation justified due to this concern? | Age gap between friends has me hesitating on expressing feelings |
t3_1jpxz0 | relationships | Me [23M] with my GF [22F] 3 years, proposing on a trip? | Hello all.
My girlfriend and I have dated for a pretty long time now, and periodically discussions will come up about our future together. However, it is worth noting that we did experience a breakup for a few months a little under a year ago. Since then, we have gotten back together and things are far better than they ever were previously. We are both in it for the long haul at present. To celebrate how well things are going, I am taking her on a trip in a few months.
--
Would it be weird to propose to her while we are on this trip? She still has two quarters of her undergrad left, and I'm done with mine. Would it be wiser to wait until we are both out, or is it cool to propose now and just plan the wedding at a more leisurely pace while she finishes with school? | Trip with GF. Want to propose. Good idea? |
t3_2paxjb | relationships | Me [17F] with my crush [17M] he drunk called me last night, left me confused, ecstatic, and nervous. | Let me preface this by explaining why I am nervous. About a year and a few months ago I had my heart broken for the first time. Since then I have tried to be cautious with guys, I really don't want to get hurt again..
So this guy, I've known him since about middle school and I've always thought he was pretty attractive, and I've had a crush on him for awhile. A few months ago (around August) we reconnected and hung out and some stuff ended up happening. We kissed and things got a little carried away. We did not have sex though.
After we hung out that day he basically stopped texting me and he ignored me, but he had a really crappy phone so I don't actually think that was his fault, but it still kinda sucked.
Last night around 1 am he messaged me telling me he lost my number and would like to have it, so of course I gave it to him. We began texting and later in the night (around 2:30am) he called me. He was so drunk, not blackout drunk though I think. I don't have a lot of experience with drinking. So he calls me and basically told me how badly he wants to hang out with me and get to know me and fuck me and he talked about how he wanted to like put his arm around me and kiss me whenever he wants. Then later he asked me if I would date him and I quickly said yes (we aren't dating, he was just asking if I would, like in the future). When he said all those things I told him that I felt the same way and I'd like to do all that with him. We talked on the phone for almost two hours. And we have been texting back and fourth all day. I am really excited because I do like him, and I really would like to be with him.
I guess the reason I am posting this is because I am not sure if he is genuine. Is it true that drunk words are sober thoughts? Or was he saying all this to get into my pants?
Thank you if you read this, I appreciate it a lot. | A guy I've known for awhile and liked for awhile drunk called me last night telling me cute stuff and how much he wants to be with me. Are drunk words really sober thoughts? Or could he be saying all of that to get into my pants? |
t3_2j0oqq | relationships | Me [19 F] with my platatonic friend [24 M] 2 weeks, who seems to have a crush on me | My boyfriend [20,] got me into an MMO a month ago and I've been having a great time. I joined his TeamSpeak club/guild/company thing and have been hanging out with those guys a lot recently.
However one of the guys seems to have developed a crush on me.
Various quotes from when I first met him. (Everyone else had left and he was helping me grind).
>Australians always have the best accents
> I was talking to [my boyfriend] and he agrees, you have like the perfect voice. Your voice is perfect
> You have such a nice voice it would make a guy want to go to the bathroom.
*two minutes later he has to go take a leak* ...
He also gave me 100,000 in game currency. Then got really awkward about how he "felt bad I can't give you more stuff," as he didn't have clothing etc that matched my class.
That was over a week ago now, but it never quite got that bad again. We've had a few deep chats - he's opened up to me a lot and is really struggling with a lot of things in life, including mental illness. So hanging out with him, even one-on-one over the internet doesn't bother me. I just don't want to be leading him on or hanging around him if it would harm him in the long run.
His crush has been confirmed by other people in the group, I don't know if he talked to them about it privately or what. | What are some tips or advice on how to hang out together with a guy crushing on me without giving him the wrong idea but being a cool friend? |
t3_4fe4b2 | relationships | [Dating] Not feeling it anymore | I (m23) am in a relationship (f23) and have been seeing them since the new year. I actually didnt even realize until a week in, but we knew each other for a short time as kids.
I initially had a lot of fun spending time with her but it's like she is not trying in the relationship at all. We only see each other once a week for a few hours on the weekend since she has school and does all her homework on the weekend. We barely even touch each other, and never with her initiating it (Kisses, hugs, cuddling, etc.[nothing sexual]). She also barely texts me, I send her a good morning text usually when I get to work and I don't get a reply until really late in the day (6pm-11pm) and it's only ever a one word answer, then I have to wait until a few hours later to get another reply. I have never really been in any kind of relationship before but I don't feel happy like this. I'm just not sure how to proceed. I don't really want to break up but I want to feel wanted in my relationship. | I am not happy with how distant my gf is and am not sure what I should do. |
t3_2x2jvv | personalfinance | Graduating from college, no student loans. About to start a paid PhD program. What should I save for? | As the title says, I'll be graduating with my Bachelor's in May. My parents are exceptionally kind and generous people and they paid for my entire undergraduate career for me, and as a result I have no student loans or debt. I was just accepted to funded PhD programs in Charlottesville, VA and Boston, MA.
As a student, I'll receive a small stipend (~25k before taxes) and subsidized housing. This will be my first ever source of income. I know that I'm incredibly privileged to be in this position, but I'm also sheltered. What do I do with this money? I want to start becoming well-versed in taking care of my own finances. I don't want to be dependent on my parents to make choices with my money, and since they've been so kind already I'd like to become self-sufficient soon enough (they also pay my car insurance, which is about 900 a year, and my health insurance, which honestly I don't know how much that costs). I don't drink or smoke, I don't have any really expensive hobbies, I don't buy expensive clothes or shoes and I have no spouse/children and I don't plan on having either for a long time. I read the FAQ, and I know I have to build an emergency fund first, but how big should that be? I imagine it'll be different depending on whether I decide on Virginia or Massachusetts as my next place to live.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, and sorry for being painfully new to all of this. | 21, no debt, getting first job, trying to take care of my own finances. |
t3_3z8hlr | relationships | My boyfriend[22M] and I[20F] are hiding our relationship from my father[55M]. | **Background**
My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to a year and a half. Before our first date I tried having my father meet BF but he did not want to and left before BF even showed up. I went on the date, but my father stopped talking to me for 3 months.
My father is very strict and does not want me leaving the house or even having a boyfriend, he is a very traditional immigrant father. He has previously followed me around to see what I was doing. My mother[54F] has met BF and has supported our relationship from the start and so has my brother[23M].
My mother helps us but my parents only want me out of the house if it is work or school related. We have had to sneak around to go on dates with the help of my mother, but even still our dates are limited to maybe twice a month. While on the other hand my brother is free to visit his gf or have his gf come over.
**The Dilemma**
I want to come out to my father and tell him about our relationship since it is a new year and I want to start clean. But BF does not want to for fear of it becoming harder for us to see each other.
**My Points**
* It could help us see each other more.
* It will be a load off of my shoulders.
* It will be a load off of my brother and mothers shoulders.
**BF's Points**
* My father could follow me around again.
* My father stops me from going out.
* My father will blame any of my failures on our relationship.
* My family will get back lash from my father for helping me sneak around.
**Question**
Should I tell my father about our relationship or should I just keep it hidden until I eventually move out? *(I do not have the money to move out at the moment). | Father is strict. I want to tell my father about our relationship but BF does not want to tell him until I can move out. |
t3_e5s4z | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, help a guy deep in the friend zone out. | So, I'm a twenty-something guy and I've known this girl (soleil) for a few years, she was **a friend's girlfriend and broke up about 2 years ago**, she then got **another boyfriend and they have been together for about... a year or more**. All this time I have been somewhat **in love with her** but as of about a year ago im mad about her. All I do is just think of her and I can't get her out of my head... all I wanna do is just hang out with here and we get along really great, **we are really good friends**. And **she knows how I feel about her**, not that I have talked to her about it, but it shows, and she notices it, everybody around us notices' that I'm in love with soleil.
Recent events, I took her and some friends of her for a trip, we wen't to the beach and stayed at my place, we had lots of fun, drank, smoked, whatever, we had fun, but nothing happened between us. And she started looking at other guys, and dancing with them, I got real jealous and might of said some shit... but it all sorted out ok. We came back and things got a little sour, it wasn't quite the same. But I got that fixed also... two weeks ago we talked and **she started telling about her crapy relationship** with her boyfriend and how she thinks **he's cheating on her** and she thinks about **breaking up with him**. And things got a little intense. She told me **"I see you as my friend"**. After that we haven't talked, but still i can't get her out of my head, it sucks man.
I haven't tried to communicate with her, trying to play it cool and I dunno man, i guess trying to get out of the friend zone. And she hasn't contacted me also, Im I doing the right thing? | Help a fellow redditor get out of the friend zone and get the girl he likes. |
t3_1u066o | relationships | I am [30F] and my [33M] boyfriend of five years, is driving me insane | I am not sure how long this is going to last.
I would like to get married someday and have kids. I love my boyfriend very much. Our relationship has been mostly normal and boring with a few minor blow ups over the years. In the beginning, the boyfriend was my partner and crime. We made food together. We traveled around a lot more. He generally did not pay most of his attention to gadgets and smartphones.
Now he is always plugging away on some smart phone. He eats most of his meals at work, and occasionally invites me over to dine with him, but I frequently eat dinner alone. I am a grad student who joined a really terrible lab and have been trying to extricate myself from that situation and get into a new PhD program, which is hard, but it is what I want to do. Yet, I am being judged for this.
He always deeply regrets these decisions that I made (getting cats, choosing restaurants, grad school). Our weekends have become pretty boring and routine with the exception of road trips to visit our respective families..but any spontaneity has been destroyed by his work or my grad school. And he is really starting to disregard my feelings about very important things like the cleanliness of the house. In fact, I often have to initiate cleaning certain things before he even takes anything into consideration. The worst part is the fact that he does not even want to think about getting married or having kids and puts down some excuse that I am not stable and that I should not settle down. Then again, if he is apathetic about most things like he has been recently, I am guessing that I should probably just find someone else before I get stuck in an equally miserable marriage. | I can't deal with the apathy and lack of support after five years, and I am not sure if I can make it better. |
t3_1pgd9r | relationships | My girlfriend (21f) is going on a five week eurotrip without me (21m), how to cope? | EDIT: Wrote this off my phone so please excuse the typos. I will try and fix them later
My girlfriend and i have had a rough few months.
We started seeing each other about 4 months ago and both cheated on our partners
at the time with each other because we just couldnt keep away. We broke up with our respective partners immediately afterward.
Since then it has been a rollercoaster, i found out about a month ago that she has hooked up with a couple of guys since we have been seeing each other. Now while this is not technically cheating, it still hurt because i thought we were in love and i diddnt even think of doing anything of the sort.
She cried when she told me what she had done and swore it was because she had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship and wasnt sure what she wanted. She agrees it wasnt fair to drag me along while she was dojng this.
After days of her apologizing, writing letters to me and sounding truely remorseful i agreed to take her back and things have been great ever since, i even met the parents!!
She hopped on a plane about 5 hours ago to europe to do some travelling alone, a "contiki tour" and a study tour with university. Only 5 hours ago and i am already going crazy!!!
A few things bother me about this
- While i believe that she immensely regrets what she has done previously, i believe it is possible for anyone to get a little flirty and maybe take it too far, especially while on holiday.
-I miss her a lot! There is 34 days remaining until she gets back home and i dont know how im going to make it, the last 4 hours feel like days!!
-I wont even get to talk to her much, maybe twice a day at the absolute most and i am constantly checking my phone waiting for a text that will not come (she is on an airplane for christs sake!!
I feel like i am going crazy reddit, please give me some advice? Have yoy been through something like this before? Should i stick it out or kick her to the curb?? | girlfriend was unfaithful before we were official |
t3_2gnacs | dating_advice | Just wanted to post my story | We're both swedish, it was our first date and we're both kind of akward so this is probaly not how a date goes down.
I(19M) texted a friend and classmate of 3 years that I liked her(18F) and that i've done so for quite some time. This was just after a party where we hade met each other. She responded the day after that she was surprised and wanted us to meet each other. (I didn't interpret this as a date the first time but looking back at it I guess it is.) We met at the train station and walked to a café were we smalltalked and then talked about us two. She was surprised but we decided to at least try it out.
After our tea we walked to the park and sat there for maybe 2-3 hours just talking about whatever was on our mind, sitting really close and touching arms. Do note that we sat down with a bit of space between each and she skooched over shich prompted me to get closer. Afterwards we walked to an icecreambar were we ate glass (surprise!) and continued to talk. Approaching 4 hours I invited hear back to my house. Which is about 45 minutes of a bus ride. My parents were out for the day and evening and we made some spaghetti and meat sauce and saw the Incredibles on a laptop (btw great if you want to get close to someone but don't know how.)
Sitting really close and stroking her inner thigh (which afterwards seems like an overstep) we finished our food and the movie. During the credits I asked what she wanted to do and she said that she didnät know. I said that we might kiss (smooth) and we did a couple times. Since she lives really far away she had to go right after that and i accompanied her to the train station. At this point we had spent the prevously 7-8 hours together. Later on she said that she didn't have any feelings for me but that the date was still great.
What did you think can be improved? Was I to straightforward? What are your other opinions and thoughts about how all this went down? | 8 hour date, kissing, touching, eating food, watching movies and just talking was involved. Opinions, thoughts or improvments? Post them here. |
t3_2wfzew | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 3m, ex-hook up texting often, should I be worried? | So on Valentine's Day, she was with me, after about two hours of being together, when we were on our way to the store to get some things to make dinner, this frat boy she's hooked up with a few times contacted her. Being a guy just like him, I already know what his intentions were, he kept segueing into inviting her over for little reasons.
She kept texting during the whole trip and I was catching bad vibes so I eventually asked her what he wanted -- she said he was trying to invite her over. My gut reaction was just to blow it off, so we joked about it as a booty call, she texts him she was at the grocery store with her boyfriend - he says "Haha woops" and stops texting her altogether. She's been calling me recently joking with me "Guess who booty called me again?" He apologized and said he felt "lonely" and keeps trying to booty call her and tells her he "wanted a relationship with her".
A big part of me wants to believe she'd never cheat on me, because she wanted to be my boyfriend for a reason, she told me "I love you" first for a reason, and she probably won't cheat on me because she's told me lots of times I make her very happy.
But a small, bad part of me is getting insecure over things, because he continues to text her, last night we grabbed a drink, he was texting her again and "wanted help choreographing". I know jealousy is just human instinct, it's a protective measure with your partner.
I really don't want this jealousy manifesting inside of this relationship to the point she does cheat on me eventually.
My intuition tells me this is just that negative part of me that used to be depressed coming back and displaying low self esteem. But it's really starting to frustrate me she continues to text this guy and all he does is ask her to come over. One time she might just say "yes" because he's been so persistent. Is it a better idea to sit her down and talk to her
Thanks, everyone. | Frat boy whom has hooked up with my girlfriend continues to text her and persists on inviting her over for little excuses, acting like a friend. Talk to her or just my personal issues? |
t3_52fbub | relationships | My [25 F] girlfriend of 2+ years broke up with me [25 M] two nights ago and I had this terrifying dream.. Anyone understand it or have a similar dream after breaking up? | Background: Two days ago, my girlfriend of 2+ years broke up with me. We had been living together for over a year. I honestly believe we still love each other, but she has been having severe anxiety, and a self identity crisis, and said she finally broke up with me because she couldn't work on our relationship while also trying to fix herself and figure out what she wants. She also said she didn't trust herself to not cheat on me in order to break us up anyways. I was trying whatever I could to save our relationship but it seemed to be not enough.
The Dream: I was in some giant complex, chasing after her. She seemed to be acting very hollow, neither of us said a word. I would keep reaching her, then start to try to strangle her, and she would get away. I then finally caught up to her and it felt as though I had the chance to kill her for some reason this time. And I strangled her, but didn't want to kill her so I let her go. I then kept following after her until she got into the backseat of a car. Then, I saw her actual face for the first time. She made a really hollow, creepy smile at me and I awoke immediately.
Has anyone has a similar dream of chasing after an ex, or strangling? How did you/would you interpret this? I tried a post over at r/dreams and didn't get much response, hence why I'm trying out here. Thank you all. | Girlfriend of 2+ years broke up with me. I had a scary dream where I chased after her, tried strangling her, but let her go because I didn't want to kill her. Have you had a similar dream and do you have insight? |
t3_jd0h4 | AskReddit | Help with understanding the new economic situation? | Hi, I'm a young and not-economics-educated teenager who doesn't understand this new crisis in the USA.
So this company decides that they should downgrade america's debt rating to AA+, knowing that this would cause everyone to sell stock, which in turn would cause it to drop (both NASDAQ and DOW dropped like 7% today) which would turn into a self-propogating problem. WHY couldn't they just leave our credit rating good, so that our stock market doesn't crash?
ALSO, why do economic expert people publicly predict a further downward spiral of the stock market, knowing this would only cause more people to sell, and create more fear of buying? Why can't they tell us, the market's looking good, buy buy buy!!!!! ? instead of exacerbating the problem?
sorry if this question sounds stupid, economics makes almost zero sense to a teenager like me. or maybe just me. | Why did Standard and Poor's downgrade the US's credit rating if they knew that this would cause a steep drop in the stock market? |
t3_255ll0 | tifu | TIFU by swallowing a spoonful of salt while broadcasting live in front of a bunch of people. | This happened about a week ago, but I figured I should tell the story, after all, it was funny.
So I go to this site where you can broadcast with your webcam and have people come and go as they please. Well, after being live for a while and gathering a small audience, I decided to do something stupid, called the "salt challenge", where the objective is to swallow a spoonful of salt in 60 seconds without any liquids whatsoever.
So after fiddling with it in my hand and stalling I finally took the plunge and swallowed it.
THE WORST IDEA EVER.
After a brief 30 seconds of "Really, that was it?", I proceeded to feel ill and immediately thereafter began to throw up violently. It quickly got worse to the point where I bolted for the sink in the washroom where I threw up like a waterfall, mind you, while the broadcast was STILL LIVE.
So here I am, people in the house, people watching my broadcast, my dog wondering what the hell is going on, while I am desperately puking my guts out.
Now here is where it gets BAD.
As I was puking, I felt a weird sensation, I COULDN'T EFFING BREATHE!
I was gasping for air and panic started to roil throughout my mind. It wasn't going away and I was starting to get light headed. This was going on in between spurts of me throwing up the salt, while being heard live through my broadcast in front of dozens of people. Not to mention the other people living with me.
I began to think, "this was it", and that I needed to go to the hospital. It was that bad.
I finally did it. Crossed the line. Stupid effing me.
However, not all was lost.
Eventually it calmed down enough to where I could half-breathe right again, and I returned to computer, not realizing the broadcast was still live.
I was #1 in my category though. | just watch the video |
t3_3d5s8z | legaladvice | (San Diego, CA) Car crashed into my apartment, insurance won't cover anything. What can i do? | A few days ago on the 9th, a car crashed into my apartment living room. My living room shares a wall with an outside parking spot owned by someone else in the complex. The person responsible was in his mother's car which was double parked behind his own car in the parking space. He slammed into his car which sent it through our apartment wall destroying our TV and other valuables that were in the area of impact.
We've just spoken to the mothers insurance company and they will not cover any of the damages because the son (who is not insured) was the person driving the car. Both cars are covered under the mothers insurance (Farmer's Insurance) . I do not have renter's insurance.
At this time, me and my girlfriend (who lives at the apartment with me) have been evacuated from our apartment due to the structural damage and we have been told that it could be 2 or more weeks before we are able to return to our apartment. We do not have anywhere to stay for this long and have been jumping from couch to couch at friend's houses for the time being. The apartment complex has no other vacancies and the property management has not provided us with any solutions.
Since insurance won't cover anything, we think our only option at this point would be to sue. We have never had to sue, or even hire a lawyer before. What is the best way of going about this whole process? | car crashed through my apartment, neither insurance or property management will cover anything and i have no funds or anywhere to live for the time being. How do i lawyer up? |
t3_1m9kkr | relationships | 22F with 22M for 2 1/2 years, scared about the future. | I'm not bothering to make a throwaway account because he knows how I feel. I just need some advice.
We're both in our last year of college as undergraduates, and he's starting to apply to jobs for after graduation. He told me that two of the jobs he's applying to have locations across the country and that he'd like to move there within the next year if he can. This scares the shit out of me...we've talked about moving away before, but I always thought it would be within the next 5-10 years and not immediately after graduation. I have always had issues with separation anxiety, and I am incredibly close to my family, so I know I would have a hard time moving away. However, it would be a whole lot easier if we moved away in smaller steps. I'd like to live somewhere at least in our home state for the next few years so that I can get used to being away from my family but still be able to see them more than a couple times each year. He wants to move away as quickly as possible, though, and I honestly don't know if I could do it.
I love him more than I've ever loved anybody, so I think I would go with him, but I am really, REALLY scared. We're also engaged and want to spend the rest of our lives together, so while breaking up is always an option, it's a last resort and is not really on the table for me.
I also know my family would be pretty upset if I moved away so soon, especially my dad. My family has been going through some hard times recently, so in addition to missing them, I'd also feel pretty guilty about leaving them. I just wish there was a way to make everybody happy. I feel like I have to choose between keeping my fiance happy and keeping my family happy, and I won't be happy unless they're both happy!
I know there's not obvious solution, but if anybody has any experience with this or can offer any advice on how to handle this kind of situation, I would really appreciate the input. | Fiance wants to move across the country ASAP, but I need more time. I am very close to my family and would need more of an adjustment period than he would like. Need advice on how to keep both my family and my fiance satisfied. |
t3_180vox | pettyrevenge | Teacher is horrible? Time for revenge. | Last semester I had a terrible English teacher. She would lose our assignments constantly and deny losing them, she always talked down to us like we were kindergarteners, the amount of work she had us do was ridiculous (like writing a 15 minute play in 5 minutes), and we constantly had to put up with he being a bitch in general. By the end of the semester, I reached my breaking point.
Being a non-confrontational sort of guy, I decided to mess with her mind. Everyday for a couple of weeks, I took everything on her desk and switched it to the other side. I think it's called mirroring. I was in her class the last period of the day, and she always rushed out of the class before everyone else, so it was easy to do. Each day everything would be put back in the original place so I knew it was bothering her. After the third time she began staying in the class until everyone had left. She thought that this would solve the problem. The only thing was that I had debate practice after school, and we used her room for practice rounds, so I continued mirroring her. This continued until another student who hated her (there were lots) decided to help me mirror her. He was an idiot and took the pictures of her kids and turned them around in the frame. This put her over the edge, and she reported it to the principal and began locking the door so we couldn't get in there. Nevertheless, I still got my sweet, sweet petty revenge for a few weeks. | I mirrored my terrible teacher's desk for a couple of weeks. Revenge was had. |
t3_100dqw | relationships | Can a relationship between an atheist (23M) and theist (21F) work? | Hi guys! I was hoping to get some advice from some of you awesome peeps. I've been dating my GF for about 2.5 years (I'm 23, she's 21), and we've had some ups and downs, but its been really amazing lately, until recently... She had started thinking about our future together, and well... I'm an agnostic atheist, and she strongly believes in God (she's a Bah'ai). We used to debate about God back when we were initially dating, and I actually managed to get her to admit that there might be no God, and she thought that for a while. But then she decided she still really wanted to stick with religion and that it's a big part of her life. But it's not a big part of my life at all.. I grew up Catholic but stopped believing during University. But even though I was Catholic, my family was super relaxed about religion, almost never talking about it, and and barely went to church. It was never a big part of my life. But her family is veeery religious.
There are a couple of problems with this. Firstly, I'm not sure that her family would ever get over the fact that I don't believe in God. My girlfriend brought up that she was not only scared of that, but also scared that her family would drive me crazy and cause me to resent her and her family down the road. I have spent some time with them, and I get along with them okay... but I couldn't say whether or not it would be a huge problem for me down the road.
Secondly, she is scared for what would happen if we had kids. She would want to raise them Bah'ai - is it possible for her to raise them in her religion while offering my views on the subject? Or would I basically have to stay out of that part of their life completely?
I love this girl with all of my heart - I don't think there is anyone else that I feel so like myself with. She is my best friend. Letting go of this relationship because of religion would suck so much... I just need some logical, to the point advice. Thanks in advance :) | we differ greatly on religion, her family isn't a fan of me being atheist, and she is scared that it wouldn't work if we were to have kids because of our conflicting views |
t3_1ru099 | relationships | My friend and I [M18] have been invited to stay in a fancy hotel with two others [F18] after a night of birthday celebratory clubbing. Does this have sexual intentions? | this was also crossposted in /Askmen, and I was recommended to post here from /Askwomen
Please know I am not trying to be sleazy and looking to sleep with my friends, I want to know if I'm missing obvious hints! I'll also try to not accidentally come off as offensive!
So two girls I have only been recently friends with (3-4 months or so) want to get a hotel at a fancy place with a friend and myself for a night after going to the city and clubbing. What I am really asking is, do these sound like sexual intentions? I'll explain the situation in detail if anyone is bored enough to help out!
The girls have had a promiscuous past, but have been more contained recently. One of them has had a lot of sexual experience, and is known to encourage her female friend in these situations. We are pretty good friends, and have gone clubbing, shared parties, slept together (bed sharing, not sexually) and whatnot.
The friend I am bringing in is known to be charming and good looking, to which most people have a mild crush on. Everyone's recently come back from the Australian equivalent of Spring Break. While we were in a separate town from our lady friends, they were meeting and hooking up guys they met.
On a small note, these two are aware of a half-joking fantasy my friend and I have of a foursome, that we mentioned a month ago. I will just assume they have forgotten about it, however. | Young/attractive girls and guys sharing a hotel room for after a fun/alcoholfueled night out. All 4 have had sexual experience and the girls have a promiscuous past (i.e. been in the same room when sleeping with guys before). Tell me if I'm daft or not. |
t3_t8q7y | AskReddit | What's the most awkward situation asking a stranger to take your photo put you in? | I'll start. This story didn't actually happen to me, but to my sister. She and her friend were walking around downtown Toronto on labor day, because like all first year university student, they were both bored out of their minds. While walking around they come across a scene that is background worthy so they ask a random guy on the street to take their picture. The man then proceeds to step back twenty feet to 'get' the background, while in the process trying to figure out how to operate the camera. While this is happening, pedestrians are actually stopping to allow this guy to take the picture without getting in it themselves(Only in Canada). By the time the guy actually figures out how to operate the camera, theres a crowd of at least 35 to 40 people held up and watching the photo take place. | sister asks stranger to take photo. stranger holds up downtown crowd to take picture of sister with friend, resulting in many stares. |
t3_4dvmye | relationships | I thought I [18 M] went on a date with my crush [ 18 F] last night, but I didn't? I'm confused. | So after weeks of talking to this girl in one of my classes, I asked her if she wanted to "hang out" last night. We agreed to meet up to get pizza and I'd meet her by her dorm.
I got ready, put on nice clothing, cologne, showered, the works. I meet her by her dorm at the agreed time, and she shows up in workout clothes and is fresh from the gym. I know I don't have much experience, but I have enough sense to know the no girl dresses like that on a first date. I figured that I'd do my best with what I got.
She seemed taken aback that i paid for her, but Dinner went well, we held good conversation, I minded my manners, etc. I also found out more about her and that she's a cool person who fits my type.
After dinner, we walk back to her dorm, and I notice she had some closed body language (crossed arms, but it was a little chilly too I guess) despite the fact that dinner went well.I made sure to keep my hands out of my pockets, but to not make a move, except for the end. I read on an article that on a first date to always end it with a handshake, hug, or a kiss. So remembering this, I at the very last second went in for a handshake. I'm still cringing from how awkward it was.
I know that the expectation is to text her within 24 hours of seeing her (that's what the Internet says at least) but I don't know if I should, and if I do what to say. I still want to see her, and my end goal is a relationship. Please help. | I thought a hangout with a girl was a date, it wa a nt. It went well, but awkward me decided to end it with a handshake. What should I text her/say? |
t3_2leldv | relationships | I [25F] am re-encountering 'mean girls' behavior at work and wondering how to handle it. | When I was in middle school, I [25F] had a particularly brutal experience of being dumped and excluded by a bunch of girlfriends one year. It was incredibly hard to handle at the time, but I learned a lot about myself and moved on.
Now, at work, there is another girl [27F] who is actively excluded by the others on her team at work. I'm friends with lots of them, and they often go for coffee and spend the entire time criticizing her - everything about her (weight, mannerisms, work, etc...). Every time I hear this, I think....what the fuck?
They have some reasons for not liking her. She sometimes pulls political bullshit, is very direct, etc... But I remember being that kid who didn't quite get the social protocol and the pain of being excluded. Totally get ranting or expressing frustration or discomfort over another person's crappy behavior, but they talk about her as a default conversation topic.
It is one thing to be guarded with a person to protect yourself, and another to actively shame, belittle and exclude them. I don't understand this behavior.
Do people really think this kind of behavior is a good solution? Why do they do it? I'm genuinely trying to understand both sides here from a non judgmental standpoint, because they are all my friends. | What prompts mean girl behavior in adults? Is there a valid social reason for this? |
t3_3pxed6 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my ex-girlfriend [20 F] I feel sorry for her. Why? | Hello;
I'm sorry beforehand if this is the wrong subreddit.
So my story is basically the following: 3 years ago I met a girl. I'll skip the "how compatible we were" paragraph; but you must know that both of us are gamers and we play an online game.
After a few months together, we broke up. Well, she broke up with me well knowing I loved her, but she still heartlessly broke up with me. Needless to say how down and depressed I was for the months that followed. And I reckon I made some mistakes by being jealous at that time of her guy friends.
But Karma is a b**ch...
Anyway, a few months ago I learn she got in a relationship with one of my friends. I knew that friend was a douchebag but who am I to interfere between 2 people?
He slept with her -which was all he wanted- and the following day, in the presence of 4 of his friends, broke up with her in the most atrocious way: Cold-heartedly while adding insults.
He still has an expensive game controller she lent him.
Now, I know many would think she got what was coming to her. And so did I, for some time. But since a few days, a specific thought about her kept eating me inside-out: I hate her for what she did to me, for how she left me with that ice-queen attitude. I still remember it. But maybe she didn't deserve that.
I swear to God, I'm a person that can hold grudges for life, but I genuinely feel sorry and pity her.
Maybe after 2 years and half I still haven't gotten over her? Why is this happening to me? Why all of a sudden I keep thinking about her?
Thanks for reading. Maybe I just wanted to share my feelings. I admit I feel a weight getting lifted off my shoulders after writing this. Really, thank you for reading so far... | Girlfriend broke up with me in a very cold way 2 years and half ago. She got what she deserved a few months ago. I feel sorry for her; why? |
t3_2ssnpg | relationship_advice | My SO [32, F] thinks that I [28, M] am a romantic invertebrate | We've been together almost six years, we have two wonderful kids, and have flip-flopped on getting married. My proposal was epic, but when it comes to the day-to-day work of keeping the spark going, tbh I kind of suck at it. All I can think of are ideas that take money and/or time, and we're po (as in, can't-afford-the-"or,") don't have a car, and practice attachment parenting (SO's been away from our oldest for longer than five minutes *this many* times, and our baby NEVER.)
Basically, I need someone to help getting me back on the right track to being creative in how I show my adoration for her. I can be creative, but also a bit oblivious to normal circumstance. I get kind of afraid to even suggest anything if it's not going to be in the right ballpark for fear of starting a fight about me not paying attention to our limitations, not having a better job, etc. (yes, we have issues like the periodicals section of the library, but I'm not getting into that at the moment.)
Any help will be greatly appreciated. If you have any context/sauce for your advice, please share it in your reply.
__[EDIT] | How to keep the romance alive on a shoestring while attachment-parenting two littles__ |
t3_3aj74c | relationships | I[22 M] am having an affair with a married[30 F] women. How do I get out? | She is georgous and pursued me. I gave in. I mean which 22 year old wouldn't sleep with an amazingly beautiful women who is 8 years older. The sex is mindblowing. Still I am slowly realizing what a piece of shit I am for doing this. It's been 3 months. She is married for 8 years and has 2 kids. I have met them. And I have also met her husband (I didn't want to, but she wanted me to get to know him so bad I gave in) A few days ago she told me she loves me.
I know it's all bullshit. How do I get out? What do I say to her? | Slept with married women, want out. |
t3_2s8owu | relationships | My co-worker [24 F] seems to have gotten really close to me [22 M] but she's also seeing someone. Is there anything that I can do about it? | We were hired together last August, were seated by each other, and immediately got along well. Similar nerdy interests, make each other laugh,etc. About 2 months ago we started texting each other a lot and now share almost everything going on in each other's lives with each other. In my experience this has always meant that a girl likes me; there have been times that after a full week working together we'd spend 3 hours texting on a Friday night.
She just moved from another city and I think she still has a limited social circle. In July she was set up with this guy through a mutual friend and has been seeing him ever since. Around October she started calling him her boyfriend until he took umbrage to it as he "doesn't like labels", so they're "seeing each other". She seemed a bit disappointed but has stuck with him. Before moving here she had been in a ~4 year relationship so this strikes me as a rebound/person to hang out with that she doesn't want to step away from even if it's going nowhere.
Last weekend she invited me to go to a movie with another friend [F] who also brought a guy. Didn't seem too "date"-like, but I do suspect that she may've been trying to get her friend's opinion on me. I keep trying to invite her to spend time with a group of my friends but she keeps having other plans.
Is there anything that I can do here? I really like this job and can't afford to have an awkward situation here. I don't think that I can confront her about it but at the same time trying to be patient is really frustrating. | Co-worker clearly seems to like me but is seeing someone else, I feel like I have nothing that I can do about it. |
t3_1xr005 | Parenting | In response to "My Kindergartner is already learning about black history ..." | So, when I first read [this post] I was surprised because it made me think differently about Black History month being celebrated in younger age groups. As a teacher and mother of a 2nd grader, I thought this parent may have a point. I read the comments, most everyone disagreed, and I moved on.
Cut to a few nights ago, my second grader (who is a white female) tells me she isn't proud of being white because white people did such bad things to brown people. I was floored. I have never really questioned teaching Black History month before this and I still think it is an important history to teach however, my 7 year old experienced white guilt and that sucks.
I stammered, trying to explain that most every "kind" of people (whether is be gender, race, religion, etc) had something positive and negative to add to society. Jumped back and forth about issues with today and Women's rights and gay rights. I couldn't figure out how to approach it all gently and was starting to fail. I finally just explained to her that she cannot blame herself for the history of others and it is up to her to create her own legacy.
I understand that children see color. I've had to explain that it doesn't make a difference what the outside looks like, etc. But, how much detail should we go into with our kids? Is it detrimental to our children for them to know about civil rights atrocities at the age of 7 or should we be encouraging a future without those atrocities? | 7 year old feeling white guilt because of Black History Month. Are we giving these kids too much of a history lesson? |
t3_gpz7b | dating_advice | Any Tips on Picking Up Girls in Public? | Hi, I've had a lot of trouble with dating friends and people close to me, so I'm looking to sort of find and date people that I don't already know.
I'm a 17 y/o male. I live in a very small town and have somewhat exhausted my "resources."
So, my plan is to go out to surrounding towns and just try to find somebody there, because I'm really ready to start dating again.
Does reddit have any tips on starting conversations with girls and ultimately getting a number or some equivalent?
Some detail: I'll probably be in places like coffee shops, book stores, and just regular stores or just walking around town. | I'm consciously going out of town, to public places, to try and find someone to date. Weird, right? Any tips? |
t3_2yttut | relationships | I (M31) am unsure how to feel about my gf's (F27) bizarre hobby. Need advice. | My gf (M31, F27) and I have been dating for just over a year, this sounds so cliché, but she is almost perfect for me; she is really into health and fitness, has an excellent career that she worked really hard for, is great in bed, kind and intelligent. But...
She lives in a basement suite which is nicely decorated and she keeps very clean.
Any of you that have lived in a basement suit before know that, no matter what you do, you get bugs: Ants, piddle bugs, beetles and ... Spiders.
I spend a fair amount of time at her place and noticed right away that there was a spider in almost every corner. I asked her about it and she told me she doesn't kill them because they eat the other bugs... Ok. I did some light research and sure enough she was right. I found it a little creepy but not a deal breaker... Here is where things get weird:
About a week and a half ago I was using her computer and noticed a spread sheet called "babies", curiously got the best of me and I opened it. She fucking named all of the spiders, kills the other bugs and feeds them to the spiders and keeps track of it all in a creepy ass spread sheet! She keeps track of their "food", their color, size, web size and some other shit that I didn't really understand.
I closed the spread sheet after I realized what it was about because I felt bad for snooping and was honestly pretty disturbed.
I really love her and don't want to break up but am afraid that this is a sign of mental illness. Has any one ever heard of anything like this before? Should I say something to her? Is it ok for me to ask her to stop? Is this really that big of a deal? | Gf is a crazy spider lady |
t3_4612yl | relationships | Do you completely get over someone you really loved? | I[24F] was in a relationship for three years, and I really loved the person[24M]. It didn't end badly, we just realized we weren't right for one another. It's been over two years since that relationship ended, and I still hope that person is doing well and is ok. If he ever called and needed help, I know I would be there. I know we weren't the right fit, and we made the right decision by ending the relationship, so why, years later, do I still hope he is doing well and feel general concern for him? Does that feeling always linger with certain relationships? Or did I never let the relationship go? We didn't remain close, I see him occasionally. | Loved someone years ago still feel concern for them and their well-being. Does that ever go away? |
t3_3ch66u | relationships | My [22F] mother [54F] died and I don't know how to feel. | My mom always had a problem with addiction, or so I was told. She got clean and had my brother, J, and I back to back. When she was in labor with me I managed to break her tailbone. They prescribed her heavy painkillers and thus, her addiction was back.
So, in a roundabout way, I contributed to my mother's problems.
She left on Halloween. She left me at home by myself (13 months) while my brothers and dad were out trick or treating. I didn't see her again until my oldest brother, M, graduated high school almost five years later.
Over the years she would randomly call, her mom would send us cards on our birthdays, and she sent me a congrats on graduating college card when I graduated high school. She spelled my name wrong.
After experiencing what it feels like to be a mom, I was so devastated that someone could choose drugs over their child. I could never in my life imagine something so selfish or so evil. It made me question what kind of person I was which is stupid because I was a fucking baby (but hormones) that she would be so willing to just up and take off without her kids.
And now she's dead. And I feel terrible. I feel hurt. But, I'm also confused. I'll never get to ask her why. I'll never get to try and mend the relationship even if I had wanted to. I'll never get to introduce her to my daughter. I'll never get to say goodbye to the woman who didn't say goodbye to me.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I should go to her funeral. I would really like some help and advice if anyone has any. | my estranged mom left when I was baby and she died of a drug overdose. unsure how to proceed and how to feel. |
t3_4y2i62 | pettyrevenge | Muffin revenge | This morning, I made some wonderful blueberry-lemon buttermilk muffins with my friend. They were heavenly- light and fluffy, not too sweet, with a lemon glaze drizzled over the top. We made 2 batches- about 20 muffins- and after indulging in a few ourselves, I decided to being some home to my family.
My friend lives only about a mile away from my house, but I didn't feel like carrying a box of muffins (as a surprise for my family) and my nice tablet for a mile, so I called my mom and asked if she could drive me, since I know she wasn't doing anything. She said I needed to walk. Well, I was quite pissed at that- I'm carrying muffins for them for a mile? In 90+F weather? In a hoodie? Hell naw.
So, I ate a couple to lighten the load, but then remembered that I'll walk by a few of my other friend's houses. So, I gave each of them a muffin, and arrived home with an empty box that obviously held my muffins, and left it on the kitchen island, in full view of my family. Take that. | Made muffins. Mom made me walk a mile, so I gave away their muffins to my friends (who loved them), and put the box that clearly held the muffins right in front of my family. |
t3_4q7c26 | relationships | My [20M] girlfriend [19F] has started treating me worse and worse through our long distance relationship | We've dated about 2 years and met at (and spend time together at) University and are long distance in the summers...
First, i'll preface that I've been clinically depressed in the past but improved a lot before I met her and while we dated. For some reason the summers bring out my depression (Not a lot of friends, overworked, isolated, etc.) and it's difficult because I have no one to talk to about what's going on in my mind and to just hang out with. Usually our relationship is great and we talk to each other about what's going on in our lives and how we're doing from day to day.
Lately though the conversations have become less and less about us, and more and more about her. At first I tried to hold it in thinking it was just outliers... but it kept happening over and over again so I decided to say something. It sparked a fight and (as someone who rarely shows emotion at all) I kind of broke down, not into a sobbing wreck or anything, but I had visible tears and was kind of choked up that she was ignoring the point I was making and how much it was visibly hurting me.
Living with depression and constantly thinking thoughts about yourself (You're worthless, You're not going to be successful, She's cheating on you, No one would notice if you were gone, etc.) is exhausting to hold in. I've tried medication and talking with psychologists/psychiatrists but honestly it just helps to have someone show that they care about me.
I know she loves me and she's shown that over and over again. I think that it's hard for her to hear about me being sad and maybe thats why she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Regardless, I don't want to break up with her- we really do make each other happy. Is this just a passing phase of being separated and my depression flaring up or something more? And what can I do to fix the situation without causing anymore fights? | What can I do, without fighting, to make conversations more about us rather than just about her? |
t3_14uvxk | AskReddit | AskReddit, were my parents just the victims of malicious social engineering? | First post, apologies if I missed a rules violation. I've already asked my father to send me as detailed an account of what happened on a 3rd computer as soon ashe could, but I wanted to get thoughts on this ASAP.
My father is legally blind & retired - he uses ZoomText to work on the computer, which magnifies text to an absurd degree and makes it extremely slow to work. Last week he was called by a 'male with a foreign accent', who was supposedly from Microsoft. This man said that he was calling about malware that had been detected on my father's computer. This time, both my parents did not provide any information and hung up on him. However, coincidentally or not, the desktop computer in question failed to boot up (post). At this point, they called me, and I told them to change their passwords on everything and not use that computer until they could bring it into a GeekSquad or something.
This morning I called my Dad, and he mentioned that the man had again called, and this time he had given him remote desktop into his laptop. At this point, I basically lost my shit, telling him we probably just compromised all our investment/bank accounts and maybe even our identities. I instructed him to:
Not use either the original desktop or laptop any more
Change all of the passwords to all accounts on a 3rd computer (this is already done theoretically)
Alert the police
Am I right to be worried? Are there any specific details I should ask my father to provide? Who should my parents alert locally, if anyone? | Some random guy called my Dad twice claiming their was malware on my Dad's computer. On the second time, my Dad gave him remote desktop access. What should I do? |
t3_28qc47 | tifu | TIFU by having sex with my girlfriend NSFW | This was actually 4 years ago. I was 19 and I had finally gotten a real girlfriend. And we were at the honeymoon phase where we were having sex every night. And was it great. We we would sleep at each other's houses every other day and paint the town red. One night she came over. We went to my room and for some reason she was really into it. She pushed me down on my bed and started to do the thing with her mouth. Once I had gotten hard she went and put it in without a condom or anything. And I felt a jolt. One of those jolts where you feel like you got shocked by something if you electrify yourself with a piece of clothing and touched something metal or touched another human being. So I didn't pay any mind to it. She was riding the surf board until I was about to burst. I didn't want it to end right then so I flipped her over and was going to go down on her and I saw that there was blood everywhere.(we were using a blanket because it was winter at the time and surprisingly winter in Texas is hella cold) I haven't seen that much blood in my life. It was like I was watching a Tarantino movie. I was so disgusted I almost threw up. So I run to the bathroom, blood dripping from my Johnson still and I proceeded to wash it off. But it wouldn't stop. Blood kept coming. And I thought to myself what the fuck. (I was not circumcised as a child so I still had the excess foreskin) I examined my bleeding willy and the tip of the foreskin has ripped. | fucked my girlfriend at the time and ripped my dick |
t3_27xb60 | relationships | Need advise on how to deal with game-playing in a relationship. | Advice*** sorry.
So, last night, one of of my good friends who I never get to see anymore texted me and asked if I'd like to hang out with his youth group and watch the heat game. Obviously I accepted. I should add here that neither of us have friends outside of each other so we spend 99% of our time together. My girlfriend and I live together, and I let her know where I was going before i left. The game ended sometime around 12, I left my friends house by 11:30 and was home by 12. On the way home i gave her a call to which she said "Is there anything wrong? No? Then i'm going to bed." So i get home and she's not talking to me. I tell her that grown ups use their words when they're upset and how she's acting is unacceptable and i wont tolerate it. Blah blah she felt left out blah blah. We talk, i maintain frame and definitely don't apologize and we end up kissing and going to bed. Fast-forward to today. She gets off of work at 6 and is usually home by 6:30. at 8:30 She calls me 20 minutes after i call her asking me to read her schedule to herand find out what time she works in the morning; implying she'll be out LATE. Mind you, she hates her coworkers, and we're both netflix bums who never go anywhere special (without eachoter)Shes obviously just playing annoying petty, relationship mind-games but i'm wondering what the most alpha response is. Should i let her come home to see me playing halo as if i had a blast and didn't notice her absence (unwavering oak tree alpha) or go nuclear and tell here i cant date someone who is mentally immature enough to play stupid ass mind games? I know, living with an ex is hard, and i do love her, but i'm worried that if i accept this behavior it will just betatize me in her eyes and doom our relationship anyway. Sorry for the long read. | I stayed out late last night with friends now she's staying out late with her coworkers (who she hates). How do i respond? |
t3_42ehjp | relationships | Me [39 F] with my BF [25M] together a year, living together sex double standard | So to be clear, my BF and I have an active sex life. He tells me all the time he finds me attractive/beautiful. The problem is that he complains I don't initiate sex. [Background-had long term relationship where SO was verbally abusive, particularly that I wasn't attractive enough and he would withhold sex.] Asking for sex still makes me anxious bc of my past, but it's something I'm working on. Here's the thing, though: When I do ask for sex, he almost always [8 out of 10 times] says he's not into it. So I don't understand. He tells me to ask and be more vocal about what I want, then when I do, he turns me down. I've let him know this is really sending me mixed messages. I just don't understand why he displays this behavior, as I don't think he's doing it to be mean. I'm hoping maybe some men out there can shed some light? | BF tells me to ask for sex more, then turns me down when I ask. |
t3_11m1cv | relationships | Is it too much for me (21F) to ask my (23M) boyfriend to stop drinking? | So heres the background story. I (21F) have an alcoholic step-father and I watched for 9 years how much it hurt my mom. Im not sure if it stems from this or not.
My boyfriend who Ive been dating again for 9 months (3 years back in high school) and now live with, drinks a lot. When I say a lot, I dont mean frequently throughout the week, I mean once or twice a week to blackout and transformed into a completely different person.
Hes never gotten physical, but he has gotten mad over silly things when he's drunk and now I have 3 holes in the wall in our bedroom. He got better for awhile after that, but has fallen back into the same habits.
When I tell him "dont drink too much tonight" he gets upset and usually says "I dont even drink that much! This is the first/second time Ive gone out."
Reddit, Am I being a naggy girlfriend or is it time to put my foot down? | Is it too much to ask my boyfriend to stop drinking when its only once or twice a week heavy drinking? |
t3_2fqfd1 | relationships | Me [42 M] with my Friend [28 F] got pretty close but i don't know where i'm going - Need advice! | Reddit i need your power :)
Me and this girl, let's give her a fake name, Sheila, met a couple of years ago during a Yelp event in the City where i worked.
During the course of the years we attended many events and got pretty close: it was easy, we have many interests in common and notwithstanding the age difference we got along pretty well.
For the sake of brevity let me use a SWOT analysis to summarize the situation:
#STRENGTHS
* She is smart, shy, very kind and cute. When she wears her glasses she is completely adorable.
* She likes my sense of humor.
* I consider myself "not an asshole", i do my best to be supportive and try to be not self-centered.
#WEAKNESSES
We often chat on whatsapp and facebook, we send each other "good morning" and "good night" **every day**, but beside telling me that i'm "a good person" she has never given me any other signals that she want "more" than a good friendship.
#OPPORTUNITIES
Six years ago i broke up with a girl quite **badly**. I wasn't able to open myself to another person for fear of being hurt again. Now that i have found Sheila, i feel that her kindness is finally healing me and i think she would complete me.
#THREATS
* She has a **boyfriend**, don't know much about him, he doesn't attend the yelp events.
* The age difference.
* I'm currently trying to kickstart my business in a different country and i'm usually thinking how much i want to see and talk with her. That is problematic for my business, but i would return to our country it that would mean to be with her.
How can i break from the deadlock ? | i've found a girl i like and we got close, but she has a boyfriend. I don't know how to proceed. |
t3_3zmhr0 | personalfinance | Engaged, trying to build credit so we can buy a home. Have outstanding debt that is affecting my credit score. Should I use my down payment savings to pay off the debt? | I have about $4,000 saved up as a nest egg, as a potential down payment for a cheap starter home/furniture/etc. I'm working to build my credit so I can get some semblance of a loan. My credit is poor because I am young and uninsured, and I had to have an emergency surgery last year and defaulted on a couple payments. I have all the small defaulted bills payed off, but have one still sitting there that is about $1500. I *could* use my savings to pay that off and hopefully get my credit rebuilt more quickly, but then that's a huge chunk of my savings gone. Would getting rid of that last payment be worth it? I'm scared to take so much out of my savings, but if it would positively affect my credit score quickly, it might be? | keep my savings with one outstanding defaulted medical bill in case I need a bigger down payment, or spend my savings on clearing all debt? |
t3_4b8k7d | tifu | TIFU quit my job over a girl and I'm so screwed | Rewind to January. Much younger, attractive coworker messages on Facebook over weekend. She comes over and we end up in my room except I'm really into this girl and find myself too nervous to perform.
It was very awkward but she seemed understanding. Over the next few weeks I get a vibe that people are talking about me. This is a small place and everyone knows everyones business apparently. It keeps eating at me and every time I see this girl I feel utter embarrassment and humiliation. We talk still but any time I mention romance things just stall out.
Anyway I couldn't take it anymore. Went to lunch 2 weeks ago and didn't go back. It's been a relief not to deal with that pressure every day but I seriously screwed myself over.
I have a friend that works with a job service, but she's on vacation for two more weeks. I have April's rent but struggling to get money together for anything else. I'm not looking for pitty just need to vent. | Quit job after embarrassing encounter with co-worker. Gonna cost me everything. |
t3_2hgeac | relationships | Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 6 years, what are some ways I can show him how much I love him? | We have been together for about 6 years. We plan on being with each other forever. I couldn't imagine my life without him. But for the past couple years our lives have gone severely down hill. We've been in a bad place job wise and money wise, and have both been under a lot of stress.
I feel like I don't give him the love and attention he needs, and even though we are in a rough spot, I want him to know how much I love him. We have been through a lot together. Is there anything I can do to make him know how much I love him? | Need some ways to make my boyfriend feel special. |
t3_4d8com | relationships | Me [19F ] just broke up with my [29 M] partner. | I'm constantly advised just to have sex and don't catch any feelings but part of me feels bad when I'm treated like a blow-up doll, the last man I had feelings for just told me today he was seeing someone else while excusing himself with my age and that we don't live in the same city anymore, I gave him lots of time and he did hurt me pretty often (to the point where I thought I was in an emotionally abusive relationship), he is the first person I slept with and while that's irrelevant, he knew all my feelings and how crazy I was for him just to throw them in the trash for someone else. He knew I admired him and I loved his work he was absolutely fascinating to me and he is by far the most interesting person I've met no matter how conflicted he was.
I just don't want to have any feelings anymore I don't know how people do to feel happy or even get in a relationship, I gave so much for him and this is how I'm treated in the end. | I need advise to get over him and move on since he cheated (because of our "long distance relationship" and age) and I became extremely clingy to him. |
t3_i2hsv | AskReddit | I am a 21 year old woman coping with my first pregnancy | I found out May 10 that my boyfriend and I were having a baby. It shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone: we live together and have [unprotected] sex often, yet somehow, I don't think either of us really expected it. In case you were wondering, until recently, telling my very strict and rather conservative dad that his do good child was pregnant was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Sunday I noticed some slight bleeding, which isn't uncommon in pregnancy. Monday when I woke up, I was still bleeding. I called my local Planned Parenthood and asked what to do. They sent me to Urgent Care. I sat at Urgent Care for an hour before they told me they couldn't help me. The sent me to ER.
I was at ER for a total of about four hours. They did blood work and told me my hormone levels were low. They did an ultrasound (my first one, btw) and told me there was no cardiac activity in my baby.
The doctor basically came in, told me I was likely going to have a miscarriage, slapped me on the shoulder, and walked out. I passed the fetus yesterday. I had to take it to the ob who did my check up. Its the only time I'll ever hold my baby.
My bf told me that "It's okay, you'll have other babies." | my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, the dr was an asshole, and my bf is insensitive. |
t3_w3zmk | self | Reddit, I need to talk to you about all this Higgs Boson excitement | I've seen a lot of posts acting annoyed about how people keep "pretending to know everything about particle physics". I think that's bullshit! You should all be happy that the public is taking such a huge interest in the Higgs Boson. A lot of important discoveries in science go unnoticed, and the people at CERN are getting some well-deserved recognition.
Get off your high horses and be happy that people are educating themselves. Instead of Kim Kardashian and Twilight, the public is talking about particle physics.
I'm no PhD, in fact I'm still in high school, but I like following science news and learning what I can from the internet. That's not a bad thing, and I'm sure there's plenty of others like me on Reddit. Just because someone isn't a particle physicist doesn't mean they can't get excited about this amazing step forward. | Instead of getting annoyed about public interest in the Higgs Boson, be happy everyone's finally caring about science |
t3_4ucey1 | relationships | Stepbrother's half brother just died. What do I say | My (F 23) now ex-stepbrother (M 21) has always been a member of my family, no questions asked. His mom had another son with her first husband, making him my stepbrother's older half brother. Sorry, I know it's confusing.
The older brother was just killed in a car accident yesterday and I don't know what to do. I'm across the country working for a couple more months so I'm trying to do everything I can but I'm limited in my options. My heart aches for him. Our parents are no longer together so we have no blood or marital connection, but that doesn't stop him from being my family. He was very close to his brother but I barely knew him.
People who have experienced this kind of thing, what really helped? What was unhelpful? I know I can't fix it but he's the kind of guy who is extremely self contained and I don't want him to feel alone or like he needs to move past this or anything. I feel helpless. | Stepbrother's brother died and I desperately want to be as supportive and helpful as I can be but I'm at a loss. |
t3_2t6txk | relationships | Me [23 M]with my girlfriend [21F] of 3 months, am i overthinking or should i be worried? | Firstly, i met this girl off tinder, we spoke and had mutual friends including family memers even though ive never met her. We dated for about a month before it became official and we didnt really do anything but make out/kiss. She wanted to wait, even tho shes slept with 3 others. Apprentently im more attractive then her im considered a 8-9 while shes a 6-7 by my friends opinion but i choose personslity over looks anyday, shes really insecure and in early dating stages, told me why am i dating a girl like her. So we spend a lot of time together, shes really out going, opinionated and constantly tells me she loves me. I would do anything for her, and honestly fell really hard for her. As for me, keep to myself, dont care about social media and like to keep a small group.
So i want to know if i should be worried, shes totally into social media, including a twitter, instagram, snapchat and facebook, constantly uploading pictures and such.
So things have been happening, i want to know if i should be worried, confront her? She doesnt know i know she has twitter. She favorits post from a guy she was dating before me, also mentioned she told me this guy called her like 2 weeks ago at night to tell her he forgives her for getting into a relationship(weird).
Instagram likes and comments on other guys. Nothing sexual or flirting, just liking pictures and like emotij's.
Snapchats recently on her story that are a bit sedective, for example, cleavage, laying on bed on her stomach pose, like ass in air, wearing cloths obviously.
Also she says shes dated a lot of guys and never gave names. I trust her and we've met some of each others siblings. And honestly its moving fast.
Also she has a staring problem where she stares at people (guys) constantly infront of me, i ask her about it n she says she didnt know. | gf of 3 months is a social media queen, does random things that make me jealous, also doesnt even mention she has a boyfriend on any of these. Should i be worried? |
t3_2kfozu | relationships | My boyfriend [20M] and I [21F] recently ended our 4 year relationship. He won't stop messaging me now that it's over. | it's been about a week and a half. we started going out about 4 years ago when we (very romantically) worked at the same mcdonald's and we were both the weird outcast kids. but somewhere along the way we just started moving in different directions but stuck it out because neither of us really did anything wrong and didn't fuck up majorly. that staleness lasted way too long... i'm not sure about how long on his end but for me i mentally checked out probably about a year ago but the love slowly fizzled because we wouldn't talk and we had basically no hobbies in common.
i was the one who said we needed to break up. he was pretty cut up about it- cried for a bit and spent the first week drunk. we caught up a few days ago to check in with each other and he told me he realised it had been dragged out for way too long. that part is ok.
the weird thing is now he's messaging me just to chat and asking me out, asking if i want to go get lunch or dinner and hang out, which he basically never did when we were actually dating! the first message came the day after, during which he got drunk with his friends and they confiscated his phone. and then pretty consistently he'd send messages after that. i don't want to be a dick and not respond because it was a pretty clean, mutual breakup/sad realisation, no yelling or fighting or anything like that so theres no point to bring in more conflict. i have told him i need space though but he's very insistent in suggesting we go out to catch up and check in. i understand that being in a 4 year relationship it's hard to let go of someone who's been there for so long, especially as it was the longest relationship either of us had been in. but frankly it's annoying me! why didn't he put this amount of effort in when we were actually together? what the hell does he want out of our friendship that we couldn't have worked on years ago? i don't get it!!! | broke up with boyfriend because we grew distant and didn't talk, immediately post breakup he keeps trying to connect. |
t3_3w4xm8 | relationships | My (20f) boyfriend (21M) of one and a half years bit me after I accidentally sneezed in his face. | Carter and I have been dating now for about a year and 6 months. Most of the time we are really great together. We handle all our fights in a very calm manner and we rarley yell. I've never felt threatened physically and he's never raised his hand at me in any way either.
On to the problem, we were sort of tickling one another and having some giggles when I let out a surprise sneeze right in his face. I thought it was hilarious, but he imidiatley picked up my hand and bit down hard until I yelped and pulled free of his grip. I got up and walked away angrily. He later came back and tried to give me a silly apology, but I was still mad. I did apologize for the accidental sneeze on him though. If this was a one time thing, I would forgive and forget but he does this type of thing often. We will be playing gently and something will happen and he will end up taking it to far and hurting me. I have told him he needs to stop this kind of thing, but he never takes it seriously. He always laughs because to him it's just playing...He's a big guy and one of these days I think he might really hurt me without even realising it. | My boyfriend and I were playing when I accidentally sneezed in his face. He grabbed my hand and bit down hard until I yelped and pulled away. He thought it was just a joke but it really hurt. He does this sort of thing all the time and I and tired of it. How do I make him understand? |
t3_29x78x | relationships | My boyfriend (20M) of 6 months and I (20F) have trouble communicating. help me out! | My boyfriend (20M) of 6 months and I (20F) have trouble communicating. We are currently in a long distance relationship for a few months and it is really difficult for me. I have tried long distance with someone else and it didn't work out well because the guy was an asshole and i didn't trust him. But my boyfriend is a really sweet and gentle guy and perfect in every other way except the fact that he doesn't communicate well. I am a really clingy girlfriend and i get angry at the smallest things. So getting to the main issue, my boyfriend and I don't communicate well enough,
1) he hardly tells me what he is doing unless i ask him
2) he never asks me how my family is or how my friends are whereas I always ask him how his friends back home are and how they are doing
3) Whenever i message him (most of our communication is via messaging) he replies in one words or maximum a sentence.
I have already spoken to him about this but he gets angry at me or just says sorry and does the same thing again. I get it that both of us are busy but i am trying my best to put effort into this relationship and i don't feel he is doing the same. I get angry really often and I don't want to push him away because i really do love him. Can anyone suggest a way to help me out? Because I really do love him and he is perfect but i want him to know that he isn't communicating well enough without causing a fight because i have been starting too many of them lately. | My boyfriend and I have trouble communicating. Help me out. |
t3_1n2ltf | relationships | Me [20F] with guy [19m] I just met, is it normal to be ignored the first few days? | Hey reddit, this is my first post so please be gentle :)
So a couple days ago, he (let's called him Jake) approached me as I finished my shift at work. He was really friendly and easy to talk to while he walked me over to my car. Jake ended up giving me his number and I texted him a couple hours later because I wanted to give him a chance since he seemed decent. We were exchanging a few texts here and there and I told him I would text him again later since I had a few things to get done at the moment, and didn't want to leave him hanging. So I texted him again the next day, and we were slowly getting to know each other. He called me and we talked a bit more, and he seems like a really sweet guy.
Now, it's the next day. Nothing. Is this a normal thing you guys do when it comes to picking up girls? Or did I scare him off? I'm new to the dating scene since I got out a long-term relationship, so I don't know if this is the norm or if I did something wrong. A little insight would be nice! | Guy approached me after work and gave me his number. We were talking quite a bit the first two days, and now nothing. Did I scare him off? |
t3_33dx5l | relationships | I (24F) am considering leaving my boyfriend (25M) for an arranged marriage | My boyfriend and I have been dating 6 years and I love him a great deal. We've been starting to talk marriage and I'm feeling really scared. Not because I'm afraid of commitment or anything, but because I don't want to be abandoned. My worst fear is moving in with a guy, having his child, and then being left alone. But at the same time, I want to be married with children.
My parents like my boyfriend, but have always said that if I wanted to find a husband, they'd help. I'm tempted to ask them for an arranged marriage so a guy will have to stay with me and won't leave me and future children. It used to just be a whim, but now I'm seriously thinking about it. I've visited a lot of the matrimony sites. I'm not interested in any of the guys, but the promise of security would be nice.
I do trust my boyfriend, but I'm still afraid. What if I get fat? What if I'm out of work? What if he just loses interest and bails? All these can happen if there's no external pressure to marry. Plus, my boyfriend is from a family where divorce is common and I worry that marriage doesn't mean much to him. I'd be a good wife, I'd put out and give him space and all that, but what if that's not enough?
No one knows I feel this way, it's been a secret. What should I do, reddit? Go for the arranged marriage while I'm still young, give up romance and love for security? | I'm afraid of being an abandoned wife, so I'm considering an arranged marriage instead of marrying my wonderful boyfriend. |
t3_qje49 | AskReddit | Have you ever been hit on by the your same sex? Most uncomfortable experience of my life today. | It's bad enough that this flamboyant gay guy keeps hitting on me. I have to pee in a cup and give it to him. I had to do a pre-employment drug test today and the doctor (idk?) kept calling me "big guy". Which i hate. Don't like being called chief, big guy, sport, boss.... Anyways...he keeps calling me pet names. Making random small talk about what I'm going to school for. I tell him I want to be a cop and he goes "oooh you want to be an Officccccccccccccccccccer". That lisp had to have contained at least 13 c's. He has to walk me to the bathroom so i know the cup isn't tampered with and he tells me to make sure i put my clothes back on quick after i'm finished, and smiles at me. | got hit on by guy at Quest Diagnostics during urine test. |
t3_107sp5 | relationships | I know I need to end it, I just can't get away. Help. | SO (26) and I (23) have been together for about 2 years. Within the last few months, the once sweet and caring guy that stole my heart has become bitter, angry, mean, and manipulative. Frustrations with his family life, dropping out of school, and being relocated due to military duty are all weighing on him, but that is no excuse for him to treat me the way he has for the last month. Barely speaking, ignoring phone calls and forbidding me to "go out" while he is away. And by going out, I mean dinner and a beer with girlfriends or going to a rock show with the roommate as a birthday gift. Even irate that I was working with a male preceptor in my nursing career (The man is old enough to be my father). Its been constant accusations of cheating, being emotionally unavailable, passive aggressiveness, double standards, and lying. I have never been unfaithful to him, to the point of cutting down contact with male friends. Everything I do is wrong to the point where I have anxiety telling him what I have planned for the day.
I know I need to end this. It's unhealthy and I have a huge amount of opportunities at my feet. I just can't seem to do it. He keeps reeling me back in every time I try. Part of it's my fault. My self esteem sucks and I am so afraid of being alone. I feel like I will never do any better than this. Even as I write this I am disgusted at my inability to change this. I never thought I'd be one of those girls...
Reddit.... please help. | I can't seem to break up and break free of a very toxic relationship. Please help. |
t3_3licvj | relationships | How do I (24f) come out to my so (32m) of three years? | I suppose I should start with a little about myself. I'm a 24 year old woman, and identify as bisexual. I have been dating a wonderful guy, I will call him Dave. Dave and I have been together for three years and I can definitely see myself marrying him in the future, and I feel the feeling is mutual.
Well, recently I have been coming to terms with my identity and how I perform gender, and I realized that I feel much more comfortable living a more "masculine" lifestyle.
Now, my so does not know about this part of me, nor does he realize I'm bi. I have begun making subtle changes, like cutting my hair and getting different clothing. He doesn't outright say it, but I can tell he is not thrilled with this. He will make comments about how I should grow my hair out or wear more makeup, and I feel so uncomfortable, but also like I am betraying him.
I need some advice on how to approach this situation. I don't want to lose him. | dating guy for three years, need advice on coming out as bisexual and gender queer. |
t3_3cpu8b | relationships | Me [18 M] with my ex [18 F], dated about a year , tense friendship until drunken outburst | After a year of dating she broke up with me saying the
relationship didn't work. She was right, we had a hard time making the relationship work because of various reasons, some of them my fault and some of them her's fault. In the end we decided to just be friends (we are in the same small friends circle)
A few months passed with our relationship being tense yet decent until the school's senior prom arrived (18 is the legal drinking age). Me and her mostly weren't around each other but we were both drinking. This being my first time drinking and being incredibly shy and self-conscious i began to get pretty drunk but not completely wasted, i started getting mad at my ex for everything that happened between us before and after the relationship.
Me ,being drunk and angry, decided to talk to her about everything i thought about her and what that had happened between us. We argued for a while but it ended with me saying to her that i never want to speak to her again.
After a week i still stand behind what i said that night. I don't know how she reacted to me saying that because i left right after i said it.
My question is what do i do now:
* She and our friends come as a package so it's obvious that if i cut contact with her i cut contact with the rest.
* Our friends are neutral to this fight.
* I have no other friends other than them.
I'm not sure if i should just break bread with her so i can keep my friends because they are really important to me so i hope someone can give me an advice on what to do.
***TO CLARIFY***
I have no intention of staying friends with her or apologize. I just want advice on how to handle this situation. | Drunk fighting with ex, need advice on how to keep contact with our mutual friends with her and them being inseparable |
t3_2c9mig | relationships | I [25M] am a restless sleeper with [23F] what do I do? | Admittedly I am very new to relationships. I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks now and we've slept together 4 times now. Each time I haven't really been able to fall into a real deep sleep. If I have it was only for 1-2 hours and that would be towards the end, before we woke up.
Sleeping alone I have always had problems. It can take me up to 2 hours to fall to sleep (but thats rare). Most commonly it takes me like 30 mins to an hour and then I don't have much troubles after falling asleep initially.
I asked her and she said my tossing and turning doesn't bother her and she sleeps through it (not entirely convinced because she moves after I do a lot of the time) but she said she doesn't want me losing so much sleep staying over with her :(
I LOVE sleeping with her despite the troubles, there's not much better than waking up and cuddling with her to start my day. I really need to get over this. Any other restless sleepers get over it? What did you do?
I should note that she sleeps in an unmade bed with weird sheets and I have a hard time regulating my body temperature there. | restless sleeper here, barely get any sleep with my SO due to tossing/turning. What do I do? |
t3_3p9p1u | relationships | Me [15 M] realizes that my [40 M] dad probably has a mistress [30 F]. He is divorced with my mom and has a daughter with his current wife. I don't want her to go through the same thing I went through. | Okay so this is kind of complicated.
For the sake of anonymity, all names used are fake.
There's me [15 M]
my mom [45 F]
my step dad [60 M]
my dad [40 M]
my step mom [32 F]
my (probably) dad's mistress [30 F] Sophia
my half-sister [3 F]
My mom and my dad are divorced.
My mom is remarried to my step dad with no children.
My dad is remarried to my step mom with a daughter. [3 F]
For the past 5 years, I haven't really had a relationship with my step mom and step sister. As a matter of fact I rarely talk to them when I go over to my dads house (Once every other weekend). I go to my dad's house 4 days per month. At least 2 of those days, we are hanging with my dad's "friend", Sophia.
Anyways, I really don't want to go into details debating on whether Sophia is or not my dad's mistress because I'm pretty sure she is and I'm really tired so I don't want to type all of it out.
Basically, I feel very lost right now. I don't know what to do. If I tell my step-mom that my dad's cheating on her I'm pretty sure they will get divorced. If I don't, I will have to live with the guilt and they will get divorced sooner or later. My mom and my dad have already gotten divorced so then he will have gone through two divorces and my half-sister is at the same age as I was when my parents got divorced. I don't want my half-sister to go through the same thing that I did so I really don't know what to do. | My dad's cheating on my step-mom. They have a daughter. I don't know what to do. |
t3_4gqk7y | tifu | Tifu by asking how a girls blowjobs are. | Dear reddit tifu.
First post, be gentle please.
The other day i was talking to this girl I liked and was about to ask her out. Not wanting to ask out of the blue I decided to instigate some small talk. Now i knew that she had been out the night before so I proceeded to ask " how is you head." She came to the conclusion that I was asking how good her blowjobs were. I on the otherhand was just asking if she was hungover. This obviously created a lull in the conversation. I laughed so hard I couldn't reply to her response for a while. It wasn't awkward for me but must have been for her.
In the end we moved past it and are going out tomorrow. Atleast theres something to look back on.
Apologies for formatting as I'm on mobile. | Made small talk by asking how good a girls blowjobs ars. |
t3_nwmtn | AskReddit | Have you ever been pick-pocketed? | Last night I was at a club in NYC. I was moderately tipsy but not enough that I was sloppy. I was talking to a girl and I went to grab my phone to get her number and it was gone. When I got home I logged into find my iphone and it was located on 27th and Broadway. Unfortunately the phone was turned off shortly after. I took a cab to get over there and there was a wireless shop right where it was pinpointed. The manger said there was a man trying to sell an iphone but he doesnt buy iphones due to the fact that most chances are they are stolen. Thats where the trail ends. Im now using a shitty go phone that cant even text. | went to a club, phone stolen. No trail left behind. |
t3_ed0zk | AskReddit | Reddit, I start my first retail job tomorrow (christmas casual) and I'm a bit intimidated by all these numbers/ranks/etc, any tips? | As the title says, I start work at a popular chain of videogame stores tomorrow and while there is an 'expiration date' as such, there is a possibility of moving up to permanent part time after christmas. However, the deal is that there is another christmas casual starting this week, and he and I are essentially battling for that one permanent part time position. Needless to say, I want that position.
The only problem is..I've never done anything in retail before, so the manager was quickly explaining aspects like KPI/UPS (key performance index/units per sale) and I find the whole concept of upselling scary. I have a decent knowledge of games, so I shouldn't have any real problems fielding questions from customers, however I'm just worried at the fact that my performance will get boiled down to numbers and I'll get ranked, and I'm afraid that I'll suck.
Any help from experienced redditors would be greatly appreciated! | Start work at video game store tomorrow, suck at retail, want to do good enough to continue working there after christmas. |
t3_43r82m | relationships | Me [20F] with my SO [27 M] my friends think he is too old for me?? | My boyfriend is 27, and I am 20 but will be turning 21 in a few short months. Im currently in undergrad and he is working. My school is private and somewhat elitist, its tucked away neatly in a small town, with over a 1000 students. So basically, everyone fucks everyone. The guys can be kind of douchey because they have their pick of women, who else are the girls going to find while away at school?
My boyfriend and I met happenstance online. Our relationship is wonderful. It's healthy, we communicate well, and we respect each other. I am *really* happy. He recently met a few of my family members and they liked him too, and said nothing of the age difference, not even once.
I have lived on my own in a foreign 2nd world country for nearly half a year while we were dating, I've had several jobs and I currently live on my own. I do not feel like maturity is a problem, although I won't be naive, I know that there are certain things that just come with growing up.
The problem is, a few of my friends at school don't care for the age difference. They don't necesarrily disappprove of the relaitonship, but when I bring him around they get awkward and act quiet. They know he is the best guy I've ever had, and he treats me very well. However, they can't/won't relate to him. Some of my more "worldly" friends are just fine and have no problem with his age.
It is really upsetting because I love him and I know he is a good person, and I know he is good for me. My friends all agree that he is awesome and nice, but those few friends talking about his age bothered me. Why can't they just be happy for me?
I should mention when we met we didnt know each others ages, I knew he was probably somewhat older but he honestly thought I was 23 or 24. I wasoriginally taken aback by his age as was he but we ended up falling in love.
Do you all think the difference is an issue? | my friends are a little critical of the age difference although we all agree the relationship is healthy. What do you think? |
t3_1g25it | relationship_advice | I [27M] have a great, near 'dream job' opportunity that if I take might cost me my relationship of 7 years... | I have a great offer to work in a new location that is very close to the ideal situation as far as my career advancement. I've made sure to express that I see this as a 'stepping stone'. My current job pays well but offers nothing for career advancement and development. I'm becoming a dull, lazy, resentful person due to this job.
The living situation at the new opportunity is nearly the opposite of where we are now(NYC) and verges on being suburban though there is a major city 30 min to the East of where it would be. She has made it clear that she has no intention / willingness to move so, our only option at this point is an LDR.
The problem with an LDR is the third of our relationship was LDR while we were completing college. Due to this, she considers another LDR 'going backwards' which I can understand but disagree with because I will only be hours away instead of time zones away like we were originally. I believe that physical distance is not a death sentence if trust and emotional commitment are stronger.
I've tried to explain that I want to be with her permanently and if I do this I can be a happier, more providing SO in the future.
Nothing is decided but I regret not including her in the discussions earlier however every time I began to talk she would get defensive and conversation would shut down.
There is more to say but in general I'm completely torn and nervous. Thanks for reading. | New and great job opportunity in a place where my SO refuses to move and thinks an LDR is 'going backwards' due to how our relationship started. I'm at a crossroads and don't know what to do. |
t3_34le8v | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex-girlfriend (bestfriend) [22 F] 8 months or so, Split up and now are spending a massive amount of time together, I'm confused. | Let me preface this with this. Back in December when we split she said it was due to personal issues. She said that she was still hurting over her previous relationship and needed space to figure out what she wanted. That along with depression and other issues.
Fast forward to now. We started talking again about a month ago after no contact for three months. We pretty much instantly got EXTREMELY close again. Not long after we began getting intimate. This obviously got me (as well as her) very confused. We casually joked about like "What are we?" and the whole friends-with-benefits thing. I knew my feelings for her were coming back and in time she said she was beginning to have feelings for me again as well.
Tonight I decided to get serious and ask what we were and what we were going to do. I was met with a lot of "I don't know"'s and generic answers. She mentioned that "The positives and negatives are equal" and that "If I felt like I was going to get hurt hanging around so much that I don't need to spend time with her". This just kind of strikes me the wrong way. It doesn't feel like she cares to answer or be serious about it. Perhaps I caught her when she was tired and not all there. Perhaps I should ask again in a few days?
I'm so lost. I have strong feelings for her, but I'm not sure what to do. I'm terrified of destroying what we have right now. A friend of mine suggested that she was leading me on and I needed to distance myself from her ASAP. I don't take her as that kind of person. | broke up, got very close again after not speaking for a while. not sure what to do with feelings, she said she has feelings too, but doesn't know. |
t3_4livt5 | relationships | Me [19 M] and her [19 F], what's more important: feelings or friendship? | One of my closest female friends makes me uncomfortable sometimes because I have a crush on her and I refuse to do anything about it so as to prevent upsetting our friendship. What's weird about it is that she and I dated a while back but parted ways because I had to go out of state for college.
Because terms of us breaking up were that long distance relationships don't work, I have somehow gotten myself hung up on the idea that we could still be together. It also because mentally painful when we hang out for me as I tell her it's just a headache when I'm supressing my feelings for her.
I still have strong feelings of affection for her but I feel like anything I do will make things awkward for her like things are for me. Logic says that I should do nothing, and be happy to be friends with such a great person, but my heart thinks that I should talk to her about this with the risk being that we may not be as close friends anymore.
Do I not say anything? Do I talk to her about when I'm done with college and don't have to leave state for half a year at a time? Or do I talk to her about this now? | I don't want to ruin my friendship with a girl I have a crush on. |
t3_19aaru | AskReddit | Best outdoors-y car that isn't a full sized SUV? | I'm looking at buying a used car for around or under 15kish. I like to do a lot of camping, canoeing, and fishing with my fiance. I've been trying to find advice on a car to buy that can fit these needs plus can work as a daily driver (read: not horrible on gas - No SUVs). I'd like it to either have or easily adapt a roof-rack, have a big-ish storage area and probably have AWD.
I first looked at Subarus but many of them are kind of ugly (outbacks look kinda silly). I then found Dodge Calibers that seemed to kind of fit the bill, but then I read they are expensive to insure and run with some inherent engine/computer problems. I'm not against ugly cars, I would buy a Subaru Outback if it really is the best bang for my buck, and not just a popular car. | What's my best option for an outdoorsy type car that isn't an SUV. |
t3_2aql52 | relationships | I [25 F] was a little weirded out when my bf [29 M] of 2 years pulled out his phone after sex and took a selfie | Just a topless naked selfie of himself still lying in bed all tousled and shit. What the fuck?
And no, this wasn't for the AfterSex Selfie trend.
I've always thought my boyfriend was a little self-absorbed, but this seems outrageously narcissistic to me. Am I wrong? I haven't said anything about it to him, but maybe I think it's weird because I'm not the selfie type. I remember being taken aback the first time he went on a trip and sent me a selfie.
Other than that, he can be sweet and affectionate but has shown definite signs of being self-centered, he's extremely preoccupied with his appearance etc.. | My boyfriend took a topless selfie immediately after we were done banging, anyone else think it's a red flag? |
t3_244se9 | relationships | [24M] My sister [22F] is in an abusive relationship, she has ostracised herself from her family members and has moved in with him [23M]. They have a child together and I am worried about her and her daughter. | I really don't know what to do. It is confusing so I will write it out as simply as possible.
November 2012: he was arrested for, what we thought at the time, was drunk and disorderly, but we found out in January 2014 that it was for assaulting my sister (she had said that it was for drunk and disorderly).
November 2013: their daughter was born.
January 2014: they were both arrested for a drunken domestic incident in which she stabbed him after he had hit her.
February 2014: they were both on bail. At the end of the bail they were both released.
They have both, since, rekindled their relationship, and have moved in. Since our family do not like him, for obvious reasons I think, she has since moved in with him and has decided to ostracise herself from us.
They are both unstable and I am so worried about her and the baby. The fact that we aren't being told anything by social services, or my sister, is making everything all the more difficult.
It's been two months since any one in our family last saw her I really don't know how to approach this situation any further. She flat out will not talk to any one in our family. Social services and his family will not talk about any of it. She seems to have lied to her friends about the whole situation as well as none of them were aware of the incident in January of this year.
I just feel a bit lost and frightened and could use some advice with how to approach this. | sister is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend and father of their 5 month old daughter, she has ostracised herself from family members in order to be with him. |
t3_2e52g1 | relationships | Positive, yet sad, breakup: Still in love but not together due to distance and need for independent growth. Weird to tell fam/friends. 2.5yrs, Me(24f), Ex(23m) | We were friends and partners in crime for many years. Dated for 2.5 years. Lived together for 1.5. Very much in love. Very much helped each other become better people.
We got jobs in different states so we decided to break up. It just felt like it was time. But we still talk often and have no bad feelings towards each other. It seems that we may be getting back together in the future and kind of left each other on the note of "we'll re-evaluate soon."
I feel hopeful, yet reasonable. I'm making my plans to start a career without considering where he fits in. I feel healthy and independent already. Overall, as sad as it is not to have him by my side, this has been a positive move for us.
The weirdness I face is talking to friends and family about it. He's met all of my friends from home and I have met all his friends too. Not only met, but hung out with many times and become close with. And then there's the mutual friends who are even harder to communicate with about this because they've seen us at our start-finish.
I've always been proud that we communicate with each other about our problems and it feels weird to let others in on our relationship stuff now that we aren't together. Also explaining it being so positive and so sad at the same time is very difficult and makes for some mixed feelings that I don't know quite how to explain.
Anyone have a positive break up? Advice needed. | Aren't together but it's currently loosely defined. I'm excited about regaining my independence and recognize that this is an opportunity for growth. It's still sad and I don't know how to talk to friends and family about it..when they hear "break-up" they assume the worst. |
t3_1yhwu2 | loseit | Im stuck....help!! | Hey guys!! I am at at my limit here and I need some advice/motivation/help. First off I'm 26 years old, female, 5'7" and 176lbs. So last year around this time I decided I wanted to lose weight. I was so unhappy with myself! My starting weight was 206lbs. After doing P90X and Insanity while counting calories I managed to lose about 30lbs by summertime. Now I'm stuck at this weight. And by stuck I mean STUCK!!! The scale will not budge and my measurements will not go down anymore. I still count calories and stay between 1200-1400 every day (except for the occasional cheat day) I work out at LEAST 3 time a week but usually 4-6 times. I have a heart rate monitor that shows that I burn around 400-600 calories every time I'm at the gym. I don't eat out often, I stay away from processed foods, I watch sugar intake and try to keep carbs as low as possible. I feel like I'm doing everything I can to lose the last 30lbs but I am going nowhere and it's driving me CRAZY!!!!! Any thoughts on what I'm doing wrong?? | lost 30lbs and have been stuck at he same weight for around 6 months despite working out and calorie counting. |
t3_496ysu | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 8 months, unsure how to proceed | So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months now, and its been good for the most part. We have been in a long distance relationship for the past two months, and will be getting back together in a month. She started dating me after breaking up with her boyfriend of 5 years.
My issue is that she is not very romantic. According to her, she is unable to be romantic with me because she "left that part of her behind" with her previous relationship. She does love me, but she is unable to completely let go and trust me. I am unsure on how to proceed, because I really like this girl and do not want to lose her. If I pressure her too much, I don't think she will like it. Is there a way I can make her overcome her past, or do I just wait and let time do its thing? | Girlfriend not romantic because of past relationship |
t3_1vfsyi | AskReddit | How do I find her? | So a friend of mine sent me a photo of her breasts with my name on one handbra style. (We're only friends just decently comfortable) I saw someone else's name on her hand. Got curious.. Stare/Think. HITS ME. The file name is Reddit sign.jpg. Wasn't a redditor at the time. But this thought has just creeped up on me. How do I find her on here? I'm so deeply curious to seek out her name just to so I can be creepy and comment on her posts and when we skype, say things about that specific thread. Yes I'm weird. How does one go about finding such a thing? | How do I find a redditor by an image I have personally from them that was also posted here? |
t3_4bdlhi | AskDocs | Need Help Diagnosing Pain. Trigger Points or Internal? | - Age: 28
- Sex: Male
- Height: 5'8"
- Weight: 160
- Duration of Complaint: Months+
- Location: Right side of chest, below the armpit and lower rib. Picture is attached for a more accurate representation.
Picture of pain points:
(the one marked red on the back of body is not an actual pain point, but a common place where I can feel discomfort. I thought I would include it anyway)
To keep it short and informative:
Around a year or so, I woke up with a sharp pain on my lower rib area on the right side of my body below the chest. Pain could be best described as though I had fallen a sleep on a very sharp object which has now disrupted the point. It eventually (by the morning time or so) went away.
Then, around 2-3 months ago I felt such pain right below my armpit on the right side and a general dull/heavy feeling of the whole quadrant (minus the chest itself). This pain would at times reach to the upper back of my body as well.
So I went to the doctor and explained that the pain is across the side and hurts to touch (even just glaceing a hand would make it feel tender) she indicated that it *might* be zoster (shingles). I took a medication 5 times a day for 1 whole week and the pain did improve - however I think it might have been due to taking time off from work and resting home.
Nevertheless, the pain never got worse and marginally improved over time to a point where I wouldn't think of it daily. However last Weekend I helped my mom build a shelf and ever since it has been worse than before.
The | of the pain: |
t3_4bfw6i | dating_advice | Recent college grad looking for some quick advice... | So, to begin with some backstory, as the title says, I'm a recent college grad, and just after I started work in February I had gotten dumped pretty harshly by my now ex of about 2 years. So this whole dating with not knowing the person prior is pretty foreign to me. For the most part I've understood that it's best to wait around a month to ask about being exclusive, but what about when you start having sex? As I've only had long lasting relationships, I'd say it's hard for me to judge if having sex a couple times after two weeks (and you like the person enough) and asking to be exclusive in se form isn't a bit of a taboo subject still.
Some more clarification, met a girl a few weeks after being dumped, went on a few dates and had sex within a week. Had one more date with sex after and have since split. I did ask for some sense of what she was feeling about moving towards being exclusive, which was met with her wanting to split. | When after having sex should you ask to be exclusive if you think things are going well? Even if the general month-ish trial period isn't anywhere near close? |
t3_wj9qb | AskReddit | Am I an arachnophobe? | My family keeps a refrigerator in our garage, and today I went in there to get something when I saw this awful looking black widow in the corner. I freaked out and rushed back inside, this was also the first time I have ever genuinely screamed out of fear in recent memory. Furthermore, its been about a half hour and I still feel quite anxious and paranoid since I saw the spider. For about as long as I remember, I've had a fear of spiders, but I've been told by a friend that everyone is afraid of spiders so I'm not a "genuine arachnophobe" like some people. I looked online and I have found varying definitions about the exact meaning of arachnophobia, some say that anyone who fears spiders in general has it, while others list very narrow prerequisites for the phobia. I feel like my fear is far worse than the general fear of spiders, as whenever I see a picture of a particularly nasty spider I suddenly become very nervous and I can feel my heart rate go up. For some spiders, however, this is not the case. I saw a small spider crawling on the wall the other day and I wasn't afraid, I actually approached it to get a closer look. My question: is what I'm describing arachnophobia? Or is this just a natural fear, like being afraid when seeing a shark while swimming? Thanks for reading. | I saw a black widow and became frightened, screamed, and stopped what I was doing to go somewhere else. I'm also afraid of some pictures of spiders. Is this arachnophobia? |
t3_35aabk | tifu | TIFU by drinking on a Party at a friends house | Obligatory "didn't happen today" but last year. Will be a short Post I guess.
So last summer the parents of one of my friends were gone for two weeks and he had the house to himself (nice big house, Sauna in the cellar, etc.)
So we bought some alcohol beverages such as Hugo (I don't know if you have it wherever you are, but it got a Overall sweet and delicious taste here in germany) and Beer.
As we played a drinking game we emptied some bottles of Hugo and were wondering why we didn't feel drunk. So we drank some more. And more. As we emptied about 4 bottles each (1liter per bottle) we took a closer look:
It was alcohol free.
Just like the Beer.
We bought fucking ALCOHOL FREE booze to get drunk.
Fuck.
Since it was late and we were not in a big City we couldn't buy more booze so we just had fun without it. Still pretty frustrating. | tried to get drunk with alcohol free beverages. Was still a nice evening. |
t3_3gni04 | relationships | I'm [M17] not sure if I want a relationship | So basically, I've had shitty luck when it comes to relationships, longest one was a month, which I spoke with the girl twice, whilst going on 4 or 5 dates prior. I was heartbroken when she split up with me, never got a reason.
Met a girl from Tinder, she talks to me every other day, not the kind of girl I'd date, however, she sends revealing pictures over facebook even though she only classes me as "a friend she can go to for anything". Can't tell if it's a hint as I'm bad at reading females. She offers to come over for a few hours, doesn't live far away but we originally went on a first date, felt like I had a slight connection, then she said a first date didn't mean anything and she ended up going on a first and second date with a guy about two weeks later which put me off as she focused completely on his looks, until he tried to change how she acted (to make her more feminine if I remember correctly).
I want a female to spend time with, romantic time, movies, dates, kisses, hugs and all that, but feel like I want a girlfriend. I'm confused and it's gradually making me more and more frustrated. I'm far from the best looking, a bit chunky so I don't have a pick in girls really as a majority focus on looks.
I'm speaking to a girl at the minute who said she wouldn't be speaking to me unless she could see us going somewhere, relationship wise. I went on a doubled date with her and a good friend (who's already in a long term relationship) and they said me and this girl are cute together, however I can't see it going further as she doesn't seem too interested. | Is it worth trying to find a girlfriend, or just spending time with someone? How do I go about meeting new people? |
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