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t3_46v7lh | relationships | How to be okay with being single? | For context, I'm 23M, and 2 1/2 months ago my gf (23) of almost 4 years dumped me. I had a very intense rebound relationship almost immediately afterward (25M) that lasted about 1 month, and I was "officially" dumped again 2 weeks ago now, though realistically I've been single in all but name for more like 1 1/2 months.
My problem is that I logically do not want a relationship right now, but I miss being in one so bad. I'm emotionally raw and hurt and adding anything to that is just asking for a bad time, I know it.
But I want one more than anything. I miss everything about having a partner: the constant communication, the physical contact, the intimacy, being loved in a romantic way.
My other problem is that all advice I've heard about how to embrace being single is useless. Most of it says to get back into the things you like that you couldn't do while in a relationship, such as hobbies you let go of and friends/families you didn't get to see.
But my relationships never held me back from any of that. I have many interesting hobbies, I have fantastic friends who I see regularly, I have a very good relationship with my family, I am and have been a pretty avid runner for going on 8 years. None of these things give me what I'm missing.
What can I do? Everyone says to give it time, and logically I understand that time will help, but it's been almost 2 months, and feeling like shit for 2 months is not fun. All I want is for one of my ex's to be with me again, and I can't stop thinking about how it all ended and how sad it is that things didn't work out how I wanted them to.
Sorry for the wall. I'll post this somewhere else if it's not good for this sub. | I haven't had to be single for a long time, but now I do, and it's awful. All the advice I've been given about how to deal with it is unhelpful. Does anyone have any new advice to offer? |
t3_4l6pu7 | relationships | (20m) (19f) what do you think of this? | Ive been on and off talking to the same guy for about 3 years. He was the type of guy you could call a "fuckboy", as he lead me on many times and continuously left me for other girls. Did i drop my pants for him? Never. However, he always explained to me that he had feelings for me.. but never showed through his actions that its true.
In the year of 2014, it happened again. We linked up and started talking. I expressed my feelings for him and he said that he felt the same, in detail. However, suddenly he trails off and i find that he has hickeys on his neck. Hes sleeping with the girl in my class... so suddenly... and that was the end of that. I heard he was sweet talking her as well. Apparently he wanted to be in a relationship with her.. but then, he ends up screwing around with this girl and she finds that hes in a relationship with someone new. That lasted for about 8 months and then she cheated on him.
Well in summer of 2015, we ended up talking again. This time he actually ends up hanging out with me and.. what do you know, we decide to become official. Its finally... "my turn?". I dont know why i bothered to give him a chance. I suppose i thought i was over everything he did to me but.. no. I am sadly mistaken as i keep finding myself obsessing over his past and over his ex girlfriend.
It has been a year with him now. He has been entirely faithful. However, im becoming more and more obsessed with his ex girlfriend and his past.. and i dont know why. A lot of it i can tell is jealousy because he decided to date her over me.. and now suddenly i somehow get a chance with him. He has fallen completely head over heels in love with me.. but i sit here with hate on my chest and nervous butterflies on my stomach as i stalk his past with this girl on facebook. | why am i not over this all yet? Why does his ex bother me so much? I think about this all the time and i just cant let it go... its driving me nuts. |
t3_ud4oj | relationships | Facing a serious, permanent relationship decision with my SO of 2 years and really need some level-headed advice. | Hi, r/relationships. Stressed-out girl [19] here
Long story short, my boyfriend [20] of nearly 2 years is making a decision to change colleges by the end of this week- to either my own, or one 6 hours away.
We've been able to make long-distance work for the past year and a half, and it's been great! His family is practically my own, and it's hard to imagine being without such a great sidekick. He's got all the qualities I've ever wanted in a guy, without the side effects.
So here's the problem: I just can't do this for 3 more years, but I don't want to lose him. We have such an amazing relationship, but he doesn't realize how hard the whole thing is on me. What do you do when you're facing another few years of being without the person you love? I know if I was with anyone else, I'd just be thinking about him. | SO of a 2-year LDR has option to be with me at college or move further away; don't want to lose him but can't do another 3 years of this. |
t3_220e1t | relationships | I [24M] got into a car accident with my grandfather [71M] out of chance. I don't know what to do. | Completely by chance, I got into a car accident with my grandfather. He ran a stop sign on the way to my house to see my mother, and *severely* damaged the left side of my car, including the tire, headlight, mirror, and passenger side window. The police showed up, and I somehow talked my way into them not giving him a ticket.
Here's my issue. If I call his insurance agency, I don't want his insurance to be raised, and it'll be raised to about quadruple what it is now, or in other words, about triple what he can even afford off his retirement + whatever other income he makes.
This amazing man put me through college, but I'm never going to be able to afford this. I don't know what to do.
I know I *should* call the insurance agency, because he's, you know, responsible for the damage to my car, but he'll have his only way of transportation taken away. He can see and hear fine. He's a safe driver, and this was just an accident.
Help. | My grandfather ran a stop sign and now my car is fubar. I don't want to slam him financially by reporting it to his insurance agency. |
t3_37i0le | personalfinance | Am I wasting my money on expensive clothes? | Hello reddit. I'm feeling a bit conflicted about my spending habits and could with some advice
I'm an 18 year old student and I mainly spend my money on expensive clothes, because I care about my appearance and I prefer higher quality/expensive brands over lower quality/cheaper brands. I want to spend my money on these clothes, but I usually feel very greedy and selfish when I spend too much money on 1 item of clothing when there are more important things things to spend money on.
All my life, I've saved money (birthdays, odd jobs etc), so I've saved around £5000. I know that at my age, and considering I'll be going to university next year, it is wise to save my money for important things (housing, student debt etc), but I'm kinda tired of just saving my money and never spending it. I suppose buying these expensive clothes is how I get my reckless kicks (as sad as that may sound :P). I also somewhat believe in the notion that I'm only young once and may not have this financial freedom to buy expensive things again.
I don't have many other passions/activities that I spend money on: I buy 1 or 2 games every couple of months, I don't go out socially much so don't spend any money on drinking/clubbing/eating out, I don't have or intend to get a girlfriend, and I'll still be living at home while at university.
I could really do with some advice :) | Is spending a lot of money on expensive clothes justified when I don't spend money on anything else? |
t3_36qu4a | relationships | I'm [21F] paying majority of my boyfriend [21M], of 5 months, and my dates because he's broke. But he's working and I'm not? | I've no qualms about paying for myself and even for both my SO and I. Ideally, I'd love for my relationships to be 50/50, with each taking turns to pick up the bills and taking turns with gifts and such.
With my boyfriend now, I find that he's always broke. That's okay, I can pick up the bills when we go out to eat. But he has a part-time job that pays ~300 a week, while I'm schooling full-time. We both still live with our parents (common where I'm from) so our disposable money only goes towards our social life.
It's beginning to irk me that I'm paying for most of the stuff, even though he's the one earning the money? He spends it when he's out with friends, then when he's with me he's broke. It's starting to make me resent him. Am I being unreasonable? What do I do? | I'm paying for 75% of our dates even though he's the one with the job, and I'm starting to hate it and him for it. |
t3_20cpoc | askwomenadvice | My best friend's baby nephew is going to pass away, how can I best support her in her grieving? | My best friend (we are both female, both 23, and have known each other for 5 years) has a nephew who was born 3 months premature and has struggled with lung and heart problems. He has had multiple surgeries, but his condition has only been deteriorating. In the last few days the doctors told the family to begin preparing to say goodbye, as the baby's chances of recovery are very very very slim and his passing is imminent. He is now on life support and is unable to breathe on his own.
I'm totally lost with how to help my friend in this situation. We've both dealt with death and loss before, but only of people our age or older. The loss of a baby, a life that's never been lived, is something I'm wholly unfamiliar with. I want to do everything I can to support her through her grieving process, but I don't know how to approach the situation. Any guidance, advice, resources, or stories of how you helped yourself or others would be so, so appreciated. You're all wonderful! | A baby is going to pass away and I need help with how to comfort my friend when it happens (please!) |
t3_3lwc83 | relationships | Please help me (24M) with birthday present for girl I've been dating (25 F) for about a month. | So I've been dating this girl for about a month now; we met on hinge and are probably a couple of weeks away from our "define the relationship" talk. (We drunkenly agreed that we wouldn't be okay with the other sleeping with someone else.)
We text nearly every day, see each other once or twice during the week, and spend most of our weekends together. We drink together alot and the sex is awesome.
Her birthday is on Thursday and I'm not sure what to get her.
Obviously I don't want to freak her out with anything too expensive or look like a dick who forgot, so I was thinking a $30 bottle of goose (her favorite vodka) with a bow stuck on it and taking her to a niceish dinner.
Penny for your Redditinal thoughts. | What do I get the birthday girl after ~1 month of dating? |
t3_1mimhw | Dogtraining | Dog Nipping/Snarling At Dog Park. What's the line on appropriate play? | My wife and I fairly recently adopted a 2 y.o. basenji mix (we think). I like to think we've done a fairly good job training him: he's very good at home, and getting better on walks every day.
We like to occasionally take him to the dog park in our neighborhood, because he's a runner, and we live in the city. Besides, we want him to meet other dogs.
We don't bring him unless he's had a really good (like 40 minute) walk right before, but when we bring him into the big dog area (he's not big, but it's got a lot more space for him to run, fetch, etc), I worry that he is too aggressive. I'm no expert, but it seems that he toes the line between play fighting and flat-out aggression, especially with big dogs. He loves to chase and nip at their necks, and when he does chase after them, sometimes I hear him snarling. I know that some of that is normal, but I just want to be sure I have a sense of when things might get out of hand. Any tips on reading body language, etc? | How can I tell the difference between fight-like play and inappropriate aggression? |
t3_273kmu | relationships | Me [22F] with my bf [27M] and his ex [22F] | Okay so my boyfriend of a few months has this ex. He was very much in love with her but it didn't work out. They hadn't spoken for over a year.
A month or so ago she texted him saying she was depressed and wanted to chat a bit and play some games because it has comforted her in the past. He agreed. He never told me about this.
I saw them playing and asked who he was playing with and he just said it was her and that they're just playing some games, nothing more. He showed me the text she had sent.
This makes me feel really uncomfortable because of their history. He insists that he has no feelings for her and that he is not interested in anything else but playing with her to comfort her. I can understand that. But it still feels wrong.
He says that she often says how depressed she is and how much everything sucks, and a week or so ago she even called him saying she'd kill herself. She didn't though, my bf managed to find a friend of hers he could call to meet up with her.
My bf says that he, in the long run, wants to break contact with her again but yeah I don't know. We've had so many talks about this, I feel like a nagging, jealous girlfriend but I just don't feel comfortable with them having this kind of contact. I also don't believe it's any good for any of them either. But I just don't know what to say or do about all of this. | Boyfriend has retaken contact with his suicidal ex, I am confused and feel uncomfortable with their contact. What to do? |
t3_4w804p | personalfinance | I want to buy a car even though my work currently subsidizes my public transport costs and I live in a large city. I need a financial opinion. | I live in Chicago, and recently graduated with my masters and began my adult job. I actually work for the government, and my industry is the type of work where people stay for life and retire while climbing the ladder. My school was actually down the street from my work, and every day for the last 2.5 years i've been commuting by train. Despite being only a couple miles, it takes 1.5 hours from me leaving my apartment to arriving at work, which is 3 hours of commute per day. I leave at 6:30am and return at 6pm. All throughout undergrad I also commuted by foot and bus. I actually have a car, but rarely used it because public transportation was completely free and my car is 20 years old and unreliable. Moving closer isn't an option.
My point is, I'm sick of public transit weirdos, the cta in general, and the hours wasted daily. I want to start driving and buy a new(used) car. But the basic rundown of my financial situation is:
* Monthly Income: ~$3,700
* Monthly Expenses: ~$2,000 (on the high-end)
* Loans: 65k student loans.
* IBRP: $210 a month, and I qualify for the public service loan forgiveness in 10 years.
* Downpayment savings: $3,500
* Estimated cost of the car would be ~$400 dollars a month. (including insurance, payments, gas, parking)
My work subsidizes a monthly public transit pass, so I would pay nothing to continue taking the train.
It wouldn't just be for work, though. There are sometimes when not having a car is super inconvenient. I have a large dog and taking him to daycare/vet, visiting people/anything outside the city, etc. | My work pays for me to take the train, but 3 hours a day is shaving hours off my life and i'm sick of it. Also not having a car sucks in general. Can I afford to buy one, or is it incredibly financially stupid of me to do this? |
t3_pd934 | AskReddit | I want to start a youth center...... | I want to start a music oriented youth center in the area, there's not much for the teens to do here. I want to start a place where teens can go to hang out with friends, bring their bands and practice,......I'd like to have a building with a big room and a stage to put on shows with the local teens groups/ bands/ whatever....to perform, have multiple practice rooms for them to use so they have a place to play music, a small recording studio where they can cut demos, and people on hand to provide lessons for instruments, vocals, stage presence, audio engineering (live and studio),.........Does anyone have a clue where to start looking for funding/ backers. I don't have the money, if I did, I buy a building and get started. With a building though I feel like I could get started and start helping local teens. | I'm wanting to start a music oriented youth center and need help funding, doe anyone know where to look for funding? |
t3_30fvfk | relationships | Me [24 M] hooked up with a girl [24F] I wouldn't mind dating, how to proceed? | Just looking for some thoughts. I hooked up with this girl a few months back. Just a one time thing, good times had by all. I know her through friends from years ago. We are not in the same social circles anymore.
I didn't think much of it at the time, I wasn't really looking for it to be more than a fun time. Since then she has texted me randomly, short texts and then doesn't really follow up much when I reply. Like, WTH, she texted me! But this has happened a few times, she initiates it. I get the impression she is interested but doesn't want to come on that way.
We hadn't seen each other in years prior to hooking up but she does seem like a cool woman and I would like to take her on a date or two and see how it goes. My question is how to approach this. I feel like a phone call would be way out of place and weird. She has texted me several times so I was thinking about a text but that seems lameish. I never see her socially so in person isn't an option.
What do you all think? Would she keep texting me like that if she had no interest? She kills conversations as soon as she starts them so there are definitely mixed signals. | Hooked up a few months back, haven't talked much since but i think she is interested. How to ask her out? |
t3_1aj5fw | relationships | I 24(m) cannot get over my ex girlfriend(22). | I started dating this girl when I was 19 and she was 17. We were together for about a year before she turned 18 and when she did we moved in together. She was the first and only girl I have ever loved. We went through a messy break up and I had never really gotten over her until recently, or so I thought.
In the last two years she has had a kid and gotten into some serious drugs. About a month and a half ago I started dating a girl seriously for the first time since my ex. The new relationship did not work out very well and we have already broken up. My ex started texting me soon after the break up and we talked non stop for about a week by text before we hung out yesterday for the first time in two years.
I knew she had a baby but I had no idea about the drugs she was using. She told me that she is not doing them anymore because of the baby but I don't know if I believe her. We ended up going back to my house and cuddling/kissing a little bit but nothing more then that. When I was holding her everything felt perfect and I was happier then I have been since I was with her two years ago. Now all I can think about is her and I don't know if it is a good idea to try and work things out again.
There are so many reasons why I feel I should not be with her but for some reason I cannot get over her. I have not had a lot of serious girlfriends but I have had relationships with a lot of girls since our break up and none of them make me feel anything close to what my ex does. I don't know if I felt like I did because I had not seen her in so long or if I actually still have real feelings for her. I have never felt like this about anyone and I did not expect to feel like this so soon after not seeing her for so long. What do you guys think should I try working it out or attempt to move on for good? | My ex, my first and only love who has had a kid and drugs issues since our break up came around after two years and all of my old feelings came back. Should I pursue her again or no? |
t3_38npj9 | tifu | TIFU By arriving for my driving test an hour after it was supposed to happen. | This isn't even that great... but I just wanted to vent.
I booked my driving test (in the UK) about a month ago. I remember looking at the times (at least I thought I did) and choosing 9:30am because it would allow me to practise for an hour before as well as being at a period where the traffic is a lot calmer.
Driving instructor turned up, we had a good chat, went over a few bits. He confirmed again with me what time I had it booked.
Turned up at the centre. Took a seat. About 5 people all sat waiting and chatting. It get's to 9:35, my instructor asks me why my examiner hasn't arrived yet. One of the people waiting makes a joke that maybe I got the wrong day. I say there is zero chance of that. I take a look at the confirmation email on my phone and find out I booked it for 8:30am. I then had to slowly look up and admit to a room full of people that I am infact retarded.
£112 later, I'm now in work and can't book it again until July since that is the next available date. On top of that, I have family members texting me asking me how I got on. Instead of having to tell them I failed the test I have to tell them I failed at life.
Fan-fucking-tastic | I'm a bellend and I like to ride the bus. |
t3_2hyu7l | relationships | Me [38 M] with my acquaintance[29M/F] for 2 years, we have a small circle of friends, they give me shit for not visiting her when I am up north. I don't feel obliged since I barely know her. | So I met this girl through her mutual friends, and we have never really talked since we don't have much in common other than the same friends. So she is working on her doctorate in Goleta and comes down every couple of weeks to visit her family and friends. I travel up to Santa Barbara and the general area about once a month just to get away. I go to the beach and park the car and relax.
I have gone up once with a good friend of hers. He had a delivery and on the way down we stopped for lunch and we called her. I know her but I don't really consider her a friend since I only hear from her when I run into her. I have her on Facebook and Instagram but that is the only time we really interact, and even that is limited since she travels all over the world. So she is an acquaintance.
Her group of friends have been giving me shit for not visiting her when i'm up there. It isn't like I don't like her but if feels awkward going to lunch or whatever one on one or since we don't ever really communicate. When she is down here she never looks me up. I understand that is maybe how you make friends but I don't feel like she is interested in being friends. | I don't feel obliged to visit someone I barely know, even though we have mutual friends./Am I overthinking this? |
t3_1xef1q | dating_advice | Any advice on my [m/23] current relationship [F/21]? There was a few situations. With TL;DR. | 1) I met a girl on a dating site, she's really cute and everything, we went on a couple dates, and then before the third date, she said she was too busy for dating, but that we could still be friends. I told her it was okay. But I kinda asked her out as a valentine, and we went for another date last week. I havn't been texting much because she's busy, and so she doesn't text back often, but when she does text back, it's long messages, about what we think about things. I asked her for another date this thursday, but I want to see her more often? Any ideas | We met on a dating site, we had really good dates, she knows I want to date her, she's unsure if she wants to date, but we still talk alot and set up dates(maybe a 0.75 dates a week). Is this good? I kinda like her but I'm unsure. |
t3_3zyu3r | tifu | TIFU by bumping into an old friend | This happened about five minutes ago and I'm cringing just typing it.
I ran into this insanely attractive girl that I used to go to university with a few years back. We never spoke much to each other, but we did have a couple of group projects together toward the end of the semester, so we got reasonably close by the time we graduated. Now, I hadn't seen or spoken to her since that point in time, so I began the conversation by asking her how she's doing, what she's up to, etc
She explained that she was doing well, she was working full-time as a teacher and, most importantly, that she didn't have a boyfriend but was currently available. She then asked about me and I explained to her my current life. Anyway, after pleasantries had been exchanged, I began speaking in Spanish to her because that's what we studied together.
She laughed but had a blank look on her face, clearly unable to understand. In her defence, it had been a few years since we were at university together and she probably hadn't practised her Spanish at all since then.
She wasn't laughing anymore. So I began to speak more slowly, more loudly and more animatedly so she'd understand. She didn't.
That's when I realised.
We did *biology* together. Not Spanish. | Condescendingly and loudly spoke apparent gibberish in public to insanely attractive girl |
t3_2k4l50 | relationships | Our chairs can't support an upcoming overweight dinner guest. | A few weeks ago a new friend invited us to join a group of people who take turns hosting dinner parties. We are all in our late 20s to early 30s. My husband and I are 29 and 27, respectively. Last night we were asked to host next week.
We're excited but one thing occurred to me: one female member of the group weighs around 350 pounds by my estimation. My husband guesses closer to 375 or more..
Our dining set is antique. It's in good shape, but the chairs cannot support 350 lbs. I asked my husband (engineer) to check them out and he said the chair in best condition can probably hold up to around 305 lbs, the chair in the worst condition can probably hold up to around 265 lbs.
He also said we should avoid approaching even those limits - people sitting down "heavily" or shifting their weight could break the chair pretty easily. And even if a chair can hold 305 pounds for a two minute test, something may happen over the course of a couple of hours.
How can we handle this as non-awkwardly as possible?
So far all we can think to do is buying a sturdy new chair and assigning seats with place cards so she ends up using it. However it will probably be pretty obvious and may offend her.
I should mention that she is pretty vocal about the fact that she does not feel weight is ever a problem. She doesn't think that there's a big issue with weight vs. overall health, and she has made comments about her belief that everything should be made to accommodate overweight people instead of having special products to do it (e.g., all airplane seats should be very large instead of having a passenger use two seats). So it might be easy to offend her...
She seems like someone who I could be great friends with and we get along very well. I want to start our potential friendship off right and this feels like a road block. | Next week we're having a dinner guest who is very certainly beyond the weight of what our antique dining chairs can support. How should we accommodate her without making a scene or offending her? |
t3_x067o | dating_advice | Inexperienced in the dating game. I have a crush on my coworker but I can't tell if he feels the same. | We're both 20 years old. He's about a month older than me. I've been working with him for over a year now and have developed a crush on him. The only problem is that I don't know if he likes me. He usually compliments my cooking (I work in the kitchen area) and tends to tease me. But I know he teases the other workers as well. However, he's always say'n we should hang out and says he's going to text me. He never does. We get along very well and he calls me cute sometimes. But I have no idea if he is being nice or if he's try'n to flirt. Most recently he said that we should hang out and get waisted on my 21 birthday. I want to ask him out but when we first met we both made it clear that we enjoy being single and relationships were a hassle. I don't want to ruin our current relationship or make the work place awkward...advice reddit? | Have a crush on my coworker. Can't tell if he's flirting but we both friendzoned each other awhile back. |
t3_53njki | tifu | TIFU trying to make an omelette | Like most, this TIFU was actually a long, long, time ago (though based in this galaxy). Must have been something like 8/9 years ago now.
Growing up we had a separate fridge and freezer, both massive full sized ones, like 6ft tall-ish and a 2ft wide-ish each. Both were nearing the end of their life but never bothered to replace them because my parents knew they were planning on moving house with the last child's imminent departure from the family home and would get all new stuff anyway.
The fridge had reached a stage where, when opened, the door would need to be held up to remain on its hinges. And when I say remain up I don't just mean slipping slightly, I'm talking fully come off so you end up with a giant fridge door fully separated from the rest!
I had been left home alone for a few days whilst my parents were away and one night I fancied an omelette, I go to get eggs. The sensible thing to do would be to grab a few with one hand, close the door, put them to one side and then grab more. Instead I just swing the door open, and grab two handfuls of eggs. The door immediately clinks off the base and comes tumbling towards me. I try to stop it by planting one hand, (full of eggs) on the door. Splat... Egg all over the door, floor and hand. Scrambling to put it back up (still with one hand full) I manage to slip on the eggy floor and clutching the door fling the remaining eggs to one side against the wall.
So there I am, alone and ashamed, flat on my arse, covered in egg. Clutching an equally egg covered fridge door with eggs slowly dripping down the wall behind me. All in all, worse things have happened - but after all that there were no eggs left to try again :( | Fancied an omelette, s***ty fridge door falls on me causing chaos and a giant eggy mess. |
t3_46cres | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 2 years, using his parents for their money and it makes me think less of him | Hi reddit, long time lurker, first time posting! I recently found out that my boyfriend of 2 years plans to go no contact with his parents as soon as he graduates, and that the only reason he hasn't cut them off already is because they are paying his tuition. So he plans to continue playing the dutiful son until he doesn't need them anymore. The problem, is I can't help but feel a little disgusted by this. It's not the no contact part that bothers me, in fact I went NC with my own parents when I turned 18. But it bothers me that he would be willing to take their money and use them when he has no intention of talking to them ever again once he doesn't need their money.
To me, this lowers him not quite to their level but it does demean him. I chose to go to a state uni that wasn't really my top choice because I got a full ride there, so it was something that allowed me to escape my abusive parents' control. I got into some other, better schools but didn't get scholarships for them so I turned them down. To me, I would rather do pretty much anything else before taking another cent from my horrible parents once I turned 18, given all the strings that their money comes attached. I also feel that using your parents only for their money, even abusive parents, is like stooping to their level. Sure you could say that they deserve it but I feel it is better to take the high road.
I guess my question is, is this not actually as big a deal as I'm making it out to be? For me, my first reaction was to see it as a reflection of his moral character, and it really bothered me that he would be willing and able to use other people in such a way no matter who they are. But am I looking at it wrong? | Boyfriend is using his parents for their money; is this a reasonable thing to do, or a reflection of poor moral fiber? |
t3_4dq1ka | relationships | My [18m] girlfriend of 3 years [19f] avoids taking about the future of our relationship | I have no idea what to do anymore I don't know if I'm over-thinking things or if she's throwing up some major red flags.
We both graduated high school last year and have been taking classes at a Junior College. She's been going nuts getting as many credits and doing everything possible to make sure she's out of there and in her dream school in the last amount of time possible and I'm really proud of her.
Unfortunately, chances are slim that we end up going to the same college at the same time, and every time I ask her if she's going to try staying with me or not during college she completely avoids it, saying lines like, "we'll see what happens when we get there" and, "that's sad don't think about it right now".
The window of time I have left with her before she leaves to college is growing slimmer and slimmer and she still refuses to have a discussion about it with me. She's barely talked to me all week because she's been studying like crazy with her friends for a test she has tomorrow. I told her I wasn't feeling too great and seeing as it was getting late and I had no replies for over an hour I decided to say good night, leading to her calling and texting me like crazy asking me what's wrong and how worried she is. I brought up this issue again and it lead to the same fight but this time was a little different.
This time she told me if the distance was long enough (I have no idea what "too far away" is for her) then she would break up with me, said that the conversation was pointless, and got extremely angry and said, "I can't believe you would bring this up now when you know I've been so stressed preparing for this test all week" and such.
I love her so much and I am more than willing to stay faithful and committed no matter what the distance (which most likely wouldn't be more than a state away) but knowing she wouldn't really sucks. Am I being immature? Am I reading/looking too much into this? | Girlfriend keeps avoiding talking about our near-ish future, I'm getting really worried |
t3_214nuf | relationships | She [22f] says she wants to talk [18m] | So i started dating this girl i work with at a resturaunt about a month ago. This past week she seemed a little distant, and my coworker told me she wanted to talk to me about something. He knew this because he overheard a conversation between her and another female coworker
"How's Lover boy?"
*sigh" i dont want to talk about it"
"Have you talked to him about that yet?"
"no"
she started ignoring my texts a few days ago and we finally worked together today and everything seemed fine. She texted me tonight when i got home saying "hey i was hoping to you, do you work tomorrow?"
Im thinking a million things and i have no idea if its to end it or share whats been bothering her. Any advice or insight would be appreciated | She says she wanted to talk to me tonight and im unsure if its bad or what |
t3_1auc48 | relationship_advice | [18/f] Don't know what to do about a distant boyfriend (19/m) | So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months and in the beginning everything was perfect. But starting from a couple months ago we started fighting more, with fights usually ending witn him jinting abiut breaking up. The fights usually are cause he wasn't texting me or calling me enough. Then last month, because we were both busy (I go to highschool and had a trip one weekend, and he's in the navy and we live an hour and a half away from each other) we didn't see each other. So we see each other last weekend and everything's fine, and he's talking like he's planning on seeing me this weekend. Then on Friday he tells me he's going to the beach with his friends. Lately he takes forever to reply back to my texts (granted, the cell service is practically non-existent on the snip). We only have two months together until he's deployed and I go off to college. I got upset again and we ended up in a huge fight. Am I wrong in wishing he cared a little more or am I just being overly sensitive, and how do I make him care more? | I feel like my boyfriend doesn't care, am I just over analyzing, and how do I make him care again? |
t3_gdelw | self | I am a recovering stimulant addict that became a "functioning alcoholic" in the last year. Last night I fell back into stimulants. | It's not like it was acceptable for me to be drinking anyway, but I must admit that (given my past) the fact that I relapsed on stimulants last night after a long time away from them frightens me so much more. They're what took me down a road that almost killed me a little over five years ago.
I'm so pissed at myself, and so unhappy with who I have been becoming lately. Even prior to this relapse, I noticed certain really bad addict behaviors creeping back into my life again recently. This is beyond slipping with a substance. I'm turning into that guy again. I don't ever want to be him again.
I have a good heart. I genuinely do. But wow, does a whole bunch of garbage ever build up on my exterior so quickly. I think the fact that I am 35 and still seeking a purpose in life really messes with me. Throw on top of that additional recent stressors like having a close family member in the hospital essentially dying and you have a recipe for what happened last night.
I don't even necessarily know why I am writing this. There's not an answer I am looking for from anyone. I guess maybe I just needed to get those words out there.
Take care of yourselves out there. Be well. | Yes I guess I fucked up again. |
t3_r9exx | AskReddit | Have you ever said something ridiculously offensive and immediately regret saying it | This is something that happens to me on a regular day basis but the worst occasion of this happening was one of my best friends.
Everyone's in P.E. and we're playing some game, let's just say basketball, and everyone's joking around shit talking. Well a girl says something to my friend and without any chance to think he replies with the first thing that pops into his head, which is and this is a quote " I hope you die while running". He said it so fast that he didn't realize who he was talking to and then it settled and I saw his eyes widen. He accidentally said that to a girl who's sad dad died a year early from a heart attack. I just looked at him kind of saying did you just say that and he just stood their for a couple seconds. Luckily the girl didn't here him but he always tells that's story saying that it's the worst he's ever felt | my friend accidentally said to a girl that's dad died from a heart attack while running that he hope that she died while running |
t3_1gzkxr | relationships | Me[21F] with my boyfriend [25M] 2 yr relationship, both of are in school but i had to transfer an 1 1/2 hrs away because of money | Me[21F] and my BF [25M] have been dating for over 2 yrs now. we met at college and are still currently taking classes.
A year(ish) ago my scholarship money ran out and since I was an out-of-state student I could not afford to go there any more. I transfered to the nearest school in my state. We live about 1 1/2 hrs away from each other. we only get to see each other a few times a semester. he works full time and goes to school full time. I just got a part time job and am a full time student.
We have been on the fritz relationship wise mostly because of the stress of a long distance relationship but more recently the age difference is getting to be an issue. i know i am a bit younger than him and I am really trying to act more mature. He was questioning our relationship a lot this past week but decided it was unfair to just quit after all the work I have been doing to mature more.
recently though(like the past 2-3 days) he has not talked to me. When I call his cell he doesn't answer. I have gotten a few txts but nothing super specific other than he is unhappy with life. I really am trying to give him space and let his figure his issues out. but I am really stumped at him not talking to me at all. he wont email or txted any more or Facebook.
Am I freaking out for nothing or should I worry??????? I really want this relationship to work. And from everything we have talked about, I can assume he feels the same. Please Help?!?!? | My BF won't talk to me(after 2-3 days) should I be worried or let him breath?!?! |
t3_j1fpg | jobs | 11:15 PM phone interview?! | I've got a phone interview tonight with a large company at 11:15 PM tonight. At first I thought it was a typo, and the meant AM. So I was sitting around waiting for a call at 11:15 AM. It never came, so I called the 866 # they gave me to double check it. It called "candidate care" which I'm assuming is some sort of outsourcing HR company.
To be fair, it is my fault, I picked the time of the interview (there was only 2 choice for Wednesday 1030PM and 1115PM), and I didn't notice the PMs nor would I have imagined that they would ever interview that late. | 11:15 PM phone interview tonight, with HR firm candidate care for another company. Anyone work with cc before? |
t3_1r4vtf | tifu | TIFU because his parents caught me giving him a blow job. | Our back story is very long and confusing and it's not very relevant to this but anyway, my ex and I were hanging out in his room (we're around 17 years old by the way) and somehow one thing led to another. His parents are hardcore religious people so you can imagine his dad's reaction when he walked past my ex's room and he sees the panicked look on our faces. We couldn't close the door, we weren't allowed to.
Now it's very awkward between his parents and us. I don't think they'll ever look at us the same way ever again. I can't even visit my best friend (ex) anymore. I don't know what to do. I know it was dumb. I'm so aware of all the wrong-ness of the situation that we were in. Freaking teenage brain. | ate the lollipop at the wrong time. |
t3_tekr9 | AskReddit | I am trying to quit Alcohol for good, and instead of turning to AA, I am asking fellow redditors for their alcoholic horror stories and if there is actually any actual medical benefit(s) ... | Hi Redditors,
My name doesn't matter, and I really don't want to go to an AA meeting to show my face in person due to the extreme details I'm about to disclose (no I didn't suck d*ck for alcohol/cocaine), and decided to turn to you guys for my confidentiality. I'm in my mid-twenties, been drinking heavily (binge) for the last 10 years and I've come to a point in my life, where I feel I've wasted the last ten years of my life to alcohol. Alcohol has led me to drugs and other unexplainable behaviours when sober I wouldn't think twice about doing. I've come to a point where more recently, whenever I get drunk, I need cocaine and I want to stop drinking altogether as it starts a vicious cycle for me, sometimes lasting all weekend. I don't do cocaine without alcohol and only desire it when drunk, not sober.
My Worst Drunk story - waking up in the hospital with a nurse/doctor operating on my arm/body, trying to staple it back together while cursing at the top of my lungs, only to realize the bloodbath left on the bed once I stood up and realized where I was. Long story short, got black out drunk, got into a fight with and ended up getting stabbed multiple times.
You would think the story above would've stopped me from drinking, but no and this was ten years ago. Between then and now, I can't count for obvious reasons how many times I have gotten black out drunk and woken up to realize I have no idea where I am. I feel if I don't reach out to anyone and hear other peoples' stories, my habits will continue and only get worse. I know my circle of friends definitely doesn't help, it's almost routine now to get alcohol and cocaine as the precursor before going out on Friday/Saturday night, again sometimes lasting all weekend binging. | I am a Raging Alcoholic who turns to drugs when drunk, attempting to seek help, wanting to hear your stories and if there is actually any benefits from alcohol |
t3_2keosk | tifu | TIFU by having my phone on silent | So I was selected to join Rotary Club, which allows students to go to different countries and study there, Basically a Foreign Exchange Student Program.
Last Sunday they had an interview with people who turned in a write up on who they are and why they want to go to a different country. I did well, and they said after the interview that they will contact people Friday and say who was chosen. So I went through my week like normal doing schoolwork and playing video games, till today.
I got a call from the Rotary Club people telling me that I got a call Thursday and I didn't answer. The reason I didn't answer was that my phone was either off or had silent mode on, so I didn't notice the call, nor the voice mail. They also told me they asked another student if they would like to go, the student accepted. The worst part of this whole thing is that I put my home phone on the write up, not only my cell phone. | Lost the most amazing opportunity of my life due to silent phone and no one calling home phone |
t3_2ingor | relationships | My[17F] boyfriend [17M] of 7 months, broke up with me due to a bad time in his life right now. Regrets it. Help. | We have been together for a little over half a year, he has been very distant, he says that he is not in a good place right now and wants some time to think about this. He felt like he wasn't enough to make me happy and that he failed as a boyfriend.
On the other hand, his friend told me about a past relationship my boyfriend had with another girl for a while at the beginning of the last school year, he said that my boyfriend was with her for a while but then decided to just be friends so that he can be with me. So shortly, he left her for me. I don't know how to feel about that.
I asked him a few times about it, and he never told me. His friend says that he was ashamed and didn't want to tell me in fear of me leaving him.
We have talked it over many times now since we broke up (which was a few days ago) He says he regretted it the moment he left, he has been crying for days and doesn't know what to do. He feels ashamed for leaving me and wants to make it up to me. He is scared of failing again and hurting me but he wants to try harder to make it better, and he wants a second chance.
My friends and family would kill me if I gave him a second chance, despite that I think if we wait a while and try to make it work it could end up being good again.
But the fact he didn't tell me about that other girl before me still bugs me in the back of my head and it gives me so many doubts. If he can do it once how can I be sure he won't do it again? | Boyfriend and I broke up, his friend tells me about some relationship he had before me that I never knew about, but now he regrets breaking up with me and wants a second chance. |
t3_41gph4 | relationships | Advice about what my boyfriend [24 M] of 5 1/2 years said to me [22 F]. | About a week ago, my boyfriend told me he would only marry me if I lost weight. This is not the only condition, but is one of them. He doesn't need me to be model-like skinny, but just healthy. I gained 70 pounds in the past four years. I know I'm not healthy and I have been trying to lose weight even before I started gaining a lot of weight. So I do agree with him, that I should lose weight.
When we first started dating, he wanted to get married to me. He talked about it to me all the time. Now he is saying he doesn't know if he ever wants to get married, for multiple reasons. But it it doesn't have to do with me. If he does want to get married, he wants it to be to me.
I just want to see if anyone has gone through this before. Has anyone ever had their significant other say they won't marry you unless you lose weight? Did you stay? Did you lose the weight? And if you did, did you get married or did nothing change?
I don't want people telling me I should break up with him. Because I don't want that. I love him and want to get married. I just want to see what has happened if it happened to you. If anything changed, or if I am just going to lose weight and there will just be another condition waiting for me. What can I do to change his mind? To show him that marriage is worth it. Or is it not worth it? | Boyfriend says I need to lose weight to marry him...has anyone been in this situation before? |
t3_wehbm | BreakUps | How to reach out post-No Contact? | Mid-twenties male and female, I'm the female, and I was broken up with. Relationship of a year and a half, with longstanding friendship prior.
I'm pretty sure I'm just over-complicating my own life at this point, but it's nice to get feedback.
We've been broken up for four months, half of which has been No Contact. In that time, I've re-established friendships, taken up new hobbies, and built up my self esteem considerably. Just in general, kept myself busy and occupied. I no longer feel like I "need" to have a partner, which is awesome. I'm the happiest I have been in half a year.
Our breakup wasn't over anything like infidelity, or wanting to see new people. Just that our relationship got too serious too fast. The breakup was difficult at first with both of us going back and forth on No Contact which set us both back. Every single time we have entered into No Contact, I have initiated it and I know he has struggled with it, and has contacted me to which I do not reply. The last we spoke, we both still had feelings for each other. Which leads to my question:
**I still have feelings for him, and I think if he's ready to, we could start something very light again in the near future. However, I worry that initiating any sort of contact will be interpreted as me not being serious about my own self-improvement, and that my own emotional stability isn't more important than keeping in touch with him.**
**Super | After a relatively undramatic breakup, can you try again? How do you ask without ending up with egg on your face? Should I be leaving the ball in his court? |
t3_2bl526 | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [23F] of 4.5 years, questionable long-term goals and a sudden vacancy. | As stated in the title, we have been dating for about four and a half years and have lived with each other for the past year.
With our relationship lasting as long as it has, there has been a level of pressure from her that I have felt from a lack of commitment towards her. Namely an engagement. I'm aware of this by the way she pokes fun at me, but discusses it with her younger [21F] sister and mother. *Keep in mind that her younger sister is already engaged.*
She has an interest in natural birth, midwifery, and the like which also makes it pretty clear she has an interest in children. Being my age and still lacking a clear, expressed commitment towards her... it should come to no surprise that children are off the table for a long time. These things are due to a combination of reasons, largely financial insecurity, uncertainty of careers, education, and my own fear of forever.
I had been doing a lot of thinking about it and felt as though I was never going to realize these dreams she has for us, eventually coming to the conclusion that I don't want to keep her holding on forever. I told her what I was thinking, how I don't see marriage in our future for quite some time. She, naturally, wasn't thrilled to hear this and it escalated into her packing things up and wanting to leave saying that we're just wasting our time then. She even went to the extent of making her Facebook relationship status as single and hiding it from everybody.
We've been speaking for the past few days now that we've both had time to calm down. She keeps talking about how much she wants to make things work and that she doesn't need any of the things I mentioned above to be happy, as long as she's with me. I feel like she's compromising just to keep our relationship together and I would never ask for her to do that.
I love her, I want her, and I want to do the best thing for the both of us even if it isn't the easiest decision. Has anybody else been in a similar situation? Any advice? | Girlfriend wants things. 4.5 years, an engagement is expected and I'm not ready to make that step. I don't see myself making that sort of commitment for a long time due to several reasons and I think leaving her hanging onto that expectation is wrong. Told her, she moved out of the apartment in anger, and now wants to make things work by any means necessary. |
t3_2ljrkb | relationships | I [34 F] need advice on how to respond my ex's texts [33 F]. We agreed to keep in touch but I'm finding it hard now. | we were only dating about 3 months. She broke up with me without really giving me any solid reasons why other than to say i didn't make enough of an effort when she needed it. We had never made it "official" but were definitely getting there.
I want her back and told her during the break up that I wanted to try again. She "didn't think it was fixable". I never got any definites. But at the end of the break up i told her that I liked having her in my life and that it would be a shame to lose touch. She said she felt the same way.
Ever since the break up she's been texting me about once or twice a week. Nothing too serious or emotional. Just simple screen grabs or a link to something. I respond with a quip. and so on. The texts are never more than 8 exchanges deep. She has Also continued to like my instagram photos and facebook posts.
The thing is, i'm finding it very hard to move on. I know about the No contact rule and think it's time to set that in place. I dont want to FLAT OUT ignore her the next time since we agreed to contact. So I'd like to craft a simple powerful message to her as a response IF she writes again. Something that let's her know i dont think this is healthy for me because I have feelings for her still. | What is an amicable way to tell my ex that I'd like to stop texting with her even though we talked about staying in touch? |
t3_npe7g | AskReddit | Road trip! I'm driving from Wichita, KS to New York City, NY primarily on I-70. Reddit, can you help me figure out where to stop along the way, and what to do on my already-planned stops? More details in post. | * | ) In short, exactly what I need help figuring out: |
t3_3mxm0x | tifu | TIFU by walking home blackout drunk | This happened a few years ago.
My ex wife and I went out drinking and I got blackout drunk. I made the piss poor decision to attempt to drive home. I barely remember fishtailing my car when my ex screamed at me to get out and let her drive.
We were driving home and I remember driving home with her screaming at me when my genius drunk self told her "Well just let me out of the car!" Apparently she did. Next thing I remember I woke up on the side of the road face down in a ditch.
I attempted to stumble home and barely remember falling down the hill on the side of the road several times. I finally made it home (which I later measured was over 2 miles).
When I got home I realized I had no keys and no garage door opener. So I started banging on the door for my ex wife to open the door. I don't remember how long I was banging on the door, and I don't even remember my ex wife opening the door, but I remember falling off the front step of my house into a bush.
The next morning I woke up, hung over as fuck, and couldn't figure out why my feet hurt so badly. As I lay there, feet throbbing, I felt like my back was itchy. So I rolled over and instantly regretted thst decision. It felt like I was being stung by hundreds of bees at the same time.
After talking to my ex wife I realized she had kicked me out of the car almost 4 miles from home because I "told her to". While walking home I lost one of my flip flops and fell down the hill on the side of the road several times. After finally making it back home I was banging on the door and fell backwards into a Barberry bush. Which of you don't know what that is, is a bush with red leaves and thorns. The next morning my ex spent 2 hours with tweezers pulling thorns out of my back. | Got hammered, walked 4 miles home with one shoe and fell into a thorn bush. |
t3_2l0hn5 | relationships | I [24 M] have been with my girlfriend [23 F] for 1 year and I get irrationally insecure sometimes. Advice? | My girlfriend is really great, and we have a solid relationship most of the time.
The problem is, I am a bit of a shy/insecure person.
I often over-analyze minute things that she says or does. If her mood towards me seems to change, or if she makes a comment I perceive as having subtext, I then start to wonder if I did something to upset her. I usually ask her if something is wrong, and 99% of the time nothing is. I read too much attention to her behavior.
I realize that my fear is irrational because she is a very devoted, loving girlfriend and deep down I know I have no reason to worry. But for some reason, this deep feeling of insecurity continually takes over. It usually leads to me asking her if something is wrong once every week or two.
She told me it is starting to get very irritating and I honestly understand that. She wants me to trust her more. I want to act more sure of myself, and feel more confident. **How do I do that? Can anyone relate to this problem?**
It seems like this would be easy to fix, but it isn't. I've been working on it over the 1 year we've been together and it is slowly improving. But I've had issues with insecurity my entire life. Now that I am in a relationship with an amazing girl, I am realizing how big of an issue this is. I don't want to push her away. | I get very insecure in my relationship and end up worrying that my girlfriend is upset when she isn't. How do I avoid doing this? |
t3_3y9zgi | relationships | Me [15M] with my girlfriend [15F], barely replies to messages | My girlfriend and I have been together for roughly a month, before I asked her to be my girlfriend. Ever since we have started dating, she seems really distant over text messages. Literally, taking a day to reply.
This would normally be annoying but bearable, as when we talk in person everything is still amazing as usual. However, she has just left to go away with her family over the holidays for just under three weeks, im really worried about not talking to her over this period of time & I miss her crazily so the lack of communication is really getting to me. I am really upset, as this is the first girl I have had real feelings and emotions for. This also makes it difficult to have a flowing conversation, so the short two or three message conversations we have are seemingly aimless. | Girlfriend doesn't put effort into keeping in touch with me, ever since we started dating, what can I do to improve communication between the pair of us? |
t3_3o9kg3 | relationships | Me [24F] with my BF [25M] of 10 months, he is still roommates with his ex 29M (WTF) | It's late at night and I just had two beers. Perfect time to post here.
I knew my boyfriend was bisexual and his previous major relationships were with men even before we started dating. I want to say i have absolutely 0 issues with it.
A few months in we had a few discussions about relationships issues. I said I am very strongly anti-cheating. He admitted his only serious boyfriend left him because he was "drunk, young and stupid" and fucked another guy. He sound extremely remorseful and promised he would never ever do anything like that again. I trusted him.
Yesterday we had a Friday night out and he dropped this bomb on me: ex he had cheated on is his current roommate and BFF. Like, words cannot describe how close these guys are. They have tons of inside jokes, can pretty much read each other's mind, share so much interests they consider their stuff like books and games to be owned jointly.
This is the story my BF gave me: they met at work when my BF was really young and moved in together already as a couple. When my BF confessed they wanted to separate right away but it's not easy to find an affordable apartment in our city. They still worked together in some start up and they were actually assigned a big project together which had them working from home, so they decided to tough it out for a while. But after a while they figured they still worked well as roommates and coworkers so might as well continue to live together.
Reddit, I am not okay. And I don't even know what I am not okay with. I trust my BF, it's not like I am afraid he will cheat on me with this ex. I guess maybe I am jealous that one asshole dominates his life so completely - is his perfect friend and his wronged ex as well, but that makes me sound really bitchy. I also don't know how to confront my BF about it. it's not like I can tell him to move out of his home, esp since we can't even think about moving in together for now (family reasons that never really affected our relationship) | Apparently my BF's best friend and roommate is also his ex. I am not okay with this, but I am not sure what I can do about it |
t3_12u3ee | AskReddit | Hey Reddit What is a family to you? | Hello Reddit!
I have ti interview people for my sociology class so I thought I would ask all of you! These questions are about ideal families! And also my sociology professor is on Reddit so it would be really cool if she saw this post! Anyways following are the questions.
How many adults should the ideal family contain?
How many children should the ideal family contain?
What should be the sex composition of the adults in an ideal family?
(ie one male one female; one male one male; two males one female; etc)
What should the sexes of the child(ren) be in the ideal family?
Who should select the marriage partner?
(ie partner, matchmaker, parents, other)
What is the ideal number of generations living in the same househould?
Where should the couple live?
(ie by themselves, with their parents, with siblings, etc)
What should the sexual arrangement be?
(ie exclusive, both open, promiscuous male, promiscuous female, etc)
Which person(s) should work to support the ideal family?
(mother, father, children, etc)
Should the couple have sex before marriage?
Should disabled parents live with children, be put in a home, or other? | What is your picture of the ideal family and why? |
t3_14lc1r | AskReddit | Looking for a video: guy talks about lifeforms going into space and different kind of levels | I hope this is the right subreddit. Sorry guys, first time poster, sorry if this shit happens to often I just can't find a video I found on the front page of reddit.
It was about this guy in a living room talking to a camera about dominant lifeforms going out in space looking for resources, and that we humans were still a level one, and how a lot of lifeforms also failed to take that step from level one to level two.
I don't like contributing something worthless about Reddit, because I just think this community is great, and I promise to delete this post if someone finds the answer, or if I do in the mean time. | Video of guy talking about dominate lifeforms going into space |
t3_4is9x0 | college | I got accused of cheating on a final | I am college student and had a final in (generic basic science requirement course) today. I really enjoyed having the professor. I also studied pretty hard for the exam, and felt very ready.
Exam time rolls around and I start on the exam. All is well, except that the font used for the exam isn't the best for me (I was recently diagnosed as dyslexic/ADHD earlier this semester, but can't use accommodations til next semester). While I can usually manage to do decently on school-related things, it just takes me longer and I often take breaks from reading if the font is irritating. This final was no exception, and I broke my gaze from my exam and stared off into space (for some reason it does help me to take short breaks from reading and then get back into it). Idk how long I was out, but I must have zoned out a lot because the professor walked up to where I was sitting, scooted to the middle of the row where I was, and told me to "please keep your eyes on your own paper". She sounded extremely disappointed in me.
I felt terrible and could only mumble "okay, alright". I don't know why I didn't defend myself.
Later on, when I went to turn my exam in (I was one of the last people done so the room was pretty empty). The professor told me that she was going to check my exam against the people around me. I wanted to tell her that I didn't cheat, that this was just a huge misunderstanding. Now I am terrified that I will be booted out of school or lose my scholarship because I am a dumbass. What if we did put down similar answers? What if the science gods decided to fuck me over? To top it all off, I didn't even do as well as I wanted to because after the confrontation I was really numb and scared and didn't really concentrate. | zoned out while taking exam, got accused of cheating. What should I do now? I want to go to the professor and apologize, but what if she doesn't believe me and things get worse? |
t3_2y3txl | relationships | Me [23F] with crazy 'ex' [26]. Revealed his craziness to the world as a public service, now I'm afraid of revenge. | God, I really don't know if I did the right thing.
I'll make things short. I met this guy a couple years ago. Went out with him three times. Did not get a good vibe from him. I was naive and I was in my experimental phase, so I ended up sleeping with him. Refused to see him again after that.
He texted me endlessly, asking me to go out with him. When I wouldn't, he'd send insane texts like "I hope your life is filled with bloody abortions" and followed them with "I'm sorry I didn't mean that, you're so beautiful." I threatened to take action, he finally left me alone.
So recently he got exposed as a pick-up artist/predator that's opened his own pick-up business where he trains other guys to do the same. I was so appalled. I literally felt like puking when my friend told me. The guys denies that he's being a predator.
I sent the site that published the article my history with the guy (without any incriminating details) and screenshots of his texts to me. They haven't published my message or anything. I think there's still time to take it back.
I don't know if I did the right thing. I just wanted to warn people of the person that he truly is. What if he tries to find me (he doesn't know my address) or my friends/family? What if he tries to contact my boyfriend? What if he taped us having sex and he posts it online in revenge (don't think this happened, but I wouldn't put it past him)? | Sent website proof that my past fling is a legitimate predator/psycho. I'm afraid he's going to retaliate if he ever finds out it's me. Should I take it back? Or just stick to my guns? |
t3_2jmcpm | relationships | Do I(22M) still have a chance with her(22F) | Me and this girl have been friends for a little bit. I felt like there has been an attraction between us so I asked her if she thought so. She said she thinks there is but she doesn't want to pressure it.
I asked her if her if she wanted to see where it could go, no pressure. Then she said she's doesn't know and wants to stay friends. I'm okay with that.
What do you think I should do? Do I still have a shot with her? Btw she got out of a relationship not about 4-5 months ago maybe she's not ready. | I asked a friend if she felt an attraction between us, she said she thinks there is but wants to stay friends |
t3_2za9vf | relationships | I'm [33 F] and asked [31 M] why we only had sex once and then never again | Been dating this guy for 2 ½ months. About a month in we had sex but it wasn't very good (2 pumps) and haven't had sex since.
He continued to ask me on dates but avoided situations that could lead to sex.
Finally after a month of that I asked him why we haven't had sex again and that it seems weird that we haven't. He just got all flustered and said he didn't know why and that he didn't think it was weird at all. Ever since that question he hasn't asked me out at all but continues to contact me every day. I'm confused. Anyone have any insight? [Serious replies only please.]
Forgot another detail: I asked him if I could spend the night and he said it would be better in a few weeks. WTF is going to change in a few weeks?? | why would guy only sleep with you once and then never again but continue to date you |
t3_2zzcjk | relationships | I (20 m) told my girlfriend (20 f) of two years that she could sleep with someone else. It hurt me more than I expected. | Earlier in our relationship, I had said that she could sleep with other people as long as she was able to separate the physical act from the emotional aspect that we shared.
A few days ago, she asked me if I would really be ok with that. She had never had sex with anyone else and felt that doing it once or twice would allow her to not worry she was missing out on something.
I told her it would be fine.
Now that it's actually happened I can't really look at her the same way. I feel like something I thought was mine is just gone. I'm not able to touch her the same or even hold her hand.
I don't know what to do because she only did it because I said it would be ok, but I can't make myself get over it. | I told my girlfriend she could sleep with someone else without hurting me. I was wrong. |
t3_ffnzr | AskReddit | Travelling to the USA from Northern Ireland, and i need some Advice, | Hello, Redditors i have afew questions i was hoping some of you out their could help me with, Basically I'm planning a trip the the USA, in april, Now i know i'l need my ESTA but from what i have heard those are not so difficult to obtain, i have no criminal record or anything.
But anyway, theirs afew things if anybody knows it could proove Vital to me,
I'm planning a trip lasting 88 Days, now my ESTA says i can stay 90 days Per stay, But money is Very tight, and I'm relying on the Family i will be staying with to keep me fed and watered ( this is fine by them..) But will i have any issues with such a long time before my return flight, and the fact i have Not that much money on me as cash? I don't really know how it works on entering the country, So if anyone can tell me what to expect or give me some sort of advice that could proove Very usefull to me. Thanks. | going to usa, Need advice on standard proceedures. |
t3_uzyuy | AskReddit | If you were on the jury in a case where cut and dry evidence was presented, but deemed inadmissible by the court, and no other solid evidence was shown, how would you find the defendant? | * | Serial child kidnapper of 5 years. Airtight evidence found during illigal search and siezure. Judge says it's inadmissible and can't be used, but the jury saw it before it was found inadmissible. No other evidence on this guy. What's your decision?* |
t3_368qq6 | relationships | Should I [25 M] tell my boss that I'm being contacted by recruiters from other firms? (Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, sorry) | First off, sorry if this post isn't appropriate for this sub. If it isn't, feel free to delete it and let me know where to go.
So like the title says, should I tell my boss that I am being contacted by recruiters at other firms? I landed a very good job right out of college (I am an investment analyst at wealth management firm for UHNW clients), and have been in my current position for about 2 years. I have no intention of leaving, as I love what I do and have a great work environment.
I have been contacted a few times by headhunters at other firms in the past year or so. The vast majority have been from companies that I would never consider working at, so I usually politely decline and never think about it again.
However, I was recently contacted by a recruiter for a position at a very prestigious financial institution. I plan on declining, as the work/life balance at this firm is notoriously poor and I'm not interested in relocating. The upside to the position would be the reputation of the firm and a significant raise from my current salary.
Although I am happy with my current salary (I bussed tables nonstop for 4 years of college for minimum wage...), I know that it is below the industry standard, and I still have about $35k in student loans to pay off.
Would it be in poor taste to casually mention the recruiment effort to my boss? My thought process is that by mentioning it, my supervisors would know I have other (very attractive) offers on the table, which would influence their consideration of my compensation. | Should I mention to my boss that I'm receiving recruiment offers from other firms? |
t3_vaq24 | loseit | Question about water weight/ fast weight gain | Not sure if this is the right place to ask questions, but I just joined this subreddit yesterday so I'm still new and curious about something. I've always been on the slimmer side without needing to try (135 lbs at 5' 6'' (I'm a female)). I haven't done any serious exercise in years though, and also haven't been watching what I've been eating as closely as I used to- though I've never eaten badly. Two weeks ago I decided I should try to lose a few pounds and just get healthier in general, and so I started weighing myself regularly and exercising every day, as well as cutting back on calories a bit (I'm currently eating about 1500-1600 calories a day, burning at least 400 while working out). For the first week I stayed at a steady 135 lbs, but this week I've steadily been gaining about a pound a day, and today I weighed in at 139 lbs! I'm not worried that this is serious weight gain as there's no way I'm actually consuming that much more than I think I am, but is it possible to gain "water weight" to this degree in a few days? What is water weight anyways, and is there anything I should be doing to make it go away? | Went from 135 to 139 lbs in a few days despite good diet and exercise, is this water weight? |
t3_1a9pf7 | AskReddit | Is it appropriate to date a best friend's ex? | I think I might be falling for my best friend's ex-boyfriend, which makes me feel really guilty. They dated for about two years, and she really really liked him. I never used to talk to him much, but I was involved with helping them clarify/communicate properly in an effort to prevent them from breaking up, and somehow we kept talking even after the breakup. I'm feeling extremely guilty about talking to him because one of the reasons why my friend was upset was because she thought he blew her off every time she tried to talk to him. The other part though, is that I've always been slightly attracted to him, I just helped them get together because I wanted to support her feelings. Is it that bad if I fall for him? | I may be falling for best friend's ex, feeling really guilty and not sure what to do |
t3_37jl82 | legaladvice | Lawyer uncle whom I never spoke to in my entire life wants to sue me for the funeral costs of my father/his brother. | My parents divorced when I was 3, so my father was never a real father to me. I never lived with him, he dragged me and my mother to court to gain the right to see me weekly/monthly and so on. When I was 18 I decided I do not want to have scheduled visits anymore and I've barely seen him for the next 6 years of my life. He died recently but I managed to see him before he passed away, mainly for my mother who insisted I should see him before it is too late.
This all happened in Germany. I moved to and still live in New York City.
Now to the recent events. My fathers brother, whom I've never meet, paid the funeral costs and send me the bill. As far as I know in German law, the child of the diseased is responsible before the brothers get asked to pay. We all declined the inheritance. My uncle ( who is also a lawyer in Germany) threatened to sue me in the US and in Germany for paying the funeral costs (~3000 euro)
Some more facts that might be relevant:
- My father never paid alimony to my mother (even though he was supposed to)
- He lived off of the German state
- I am a student with no income
- I do not have any assets as of now (My mother is wealthy)
- My uncle has already paid the costs and wants the money from me ( The state is not involved anymore to my knowledge)
- My uncle/the lawyer has my US address
- My mother pays my tuition/living expenses (Since her and my father divorced she does not need to pay the funeral costs)
- I married in the US and count as dependent to my husband
Is my uncle's threat to be taken seriously? What would his chances be of winning this case? | Father died, nobody inherited anything, his brother sues me for the funeral costs he already paid. They live in Germany, I am in the US. |
t3_3n50ka | relationships | Me [23/F] with my Best Friend [24 M] 5years, I just found out he has been logging into my facebook and reading all of my messages for the past month (at least). He doesn't know I know. | I have never felt so violated. He has been my best friend and the person i confide the most to for the last 5 years, and today I found out that he has been logging into my facebook. He was at my house today, he lives in a town about an hour away so we don't hang out too often. This morning I noticed a lot of my messaged said seen on them, but I never read them. I thought it was just my phone acting weird, because I don't have the best phone in the world. I got suspicious thought because It kept happening, so I checked my active sessions. 40 from his homwtown from this last month, and I have not been there. There were also 3 session active at the moment from my house, my laptop, my phone, and his phone. I freaked out and immediately logged out of the sessions and set up notifications so i know when someone tries to log in and from where.
Before i even had time to reset my password, he logged in again. I went downstairs and acted casual and said I had to leave. I went in my car and drove away and had a panic attack. He left at the same time as me, but i don't know how to address this. This is something I feel only a fucking isnane person would do.
Every conversation i've had as not been private. Someone that I trusted has been sitting there reading EVERYTHING. he has seen all the risque things I have sent. He has read every intimate detail about my fucking life. I am so revolted. I have no idea how to go about this.
I have secured my facebook, it now needs a code that can only be texted to my phone to be able to log in on any device that has not been authenticated yet. I als odont know how he got my password in the first place.
What do I do. | Friend has been reading all my facebook messages for the last month at least. I never gave him my password. I secured my accont but idk where to go from here. I am freaking out. |
t3_3n7xfj | relationships | I [17/F] CRAVE a relationship. | I have never had a serious relationship and for the last 3 years no one told me that they like me. I feel sick everytime I see a couple holding hands and I can't stop wondering "why does she have a boyfriend and I don't?". The thing is 70% of the people I know don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet I still feel extremely bad that I'm alone. So bad that it almost became an obsession and I think about it everyday.
It hurts me a lot to see the boy I used to like still suffering 3 weeks after his girlfriend cheated on him and I just don't understand why he didn't fall in love with me instead, because I would have loved him as much as he deserved. My mother had a more complex love life in high school while I'm lonely and needy and I feel like I failed.
Some people even have the chance to cheat in a relationship and I can't even have a relationship in the first place. What do I have to change about myself? It's definitely not because of my looks or intellectual level or taking care about myself, so what is it? My personality? | i feel lonely and I crave a relationship. I started crying while writing this. |
t3_43asj8 | tifu | TIFU by not making sure my door was locked | Reposting this cause it got removed on Thursday.
So I had a boy over ("hanging out")and we always make sure to lock my bedroom door so we don't have anyone walking in on us. The lock is one of those push button ones and it was in the locked position when things started getting rowdy. Fast forward 20 minutes or so and were on the bed, my back is to the door, cause I'm going down on him and my dad, calls my name and knocks on the door and proceeds to OPEN the door. Cue awkward pause while my dad processes what he just witnessed and he slowly backs away closing the door. He's always been aware of the fact that I have a sex life (especially with this guy), but I apologized anyways because it's his house/his rules. My dad made it clear to me a long time ago that he wouldn't be a hypocrite with me seeing as both my younger sister and older brother are in long term relationships ( their s/o sleep over frequently and again, my dad is not a moron. He knows). But still, its one thing knowing about it and then actually seeing it. He later asked me why my "friend " felt the need to hide in my room and I mean....pretty self explanatory. | dad walked in on me in on me while I was giving head to a "friend" |
t3_10oaio | personalfinance | Vehicle Expense Follow up (CA) (BC) | This is a follow up to this thread
Thanks for the responses. All the criticism is correct, i'm an idiot, a lay down as someone pointed out. My advice, which seems like an obvious thing, is to not loose track of the bottom line. An extra $10/mo can sound like a small amount of money.
I wanted to come back here with a game plan, and am looking for feedback.
First thing I would like to do is get as much of a refund on the extras as I can. The loan life insurance, the anti-theft insurance, and the extended warranty. My only concern is that there is a grace period on the extended warranty and anti-theft, which I am now past. The contract says I cannot cancel after 60 days from the contract purchase. I've read that I should still be able to cancel it, but at a prorated refund, any thoughts?
Each insurance policy is with a different company, should I go to the dealer to try and cancel them, contact the insurance companies, or contact Volkswagon?
As for the car. I think I will sell it, and buy something cheaper. For now I am going to assume no refund on my extras. If I take a 20% hit on the price of the car ($33910) I can potentially walk away with $27128, this would leave my loan at $16958 (original loan was $44084 after down payment). I would then probably buy something at $10000, here's hoping this expensive lesson will pay off and I stick to a firm budget. My car debt would then be $26958 vs $44084. Of course I would also have to be prepared to shell out for higher upkeep on a cheaper car.
My question here would be, should I do this on credit, or hold on to the current car for a while and save cash. I'm not sure what to expect if I go to the bank for a loan to cover this, my current car loan is 5.99% | Bought extras with my car, regret it, am now trying to rectify this. |
t3_jl3x5 | AskReddit | Can you help me block Yahoo Answers? (explanation inside) | To explain, about six months ago I bought a laptop for my extremely agoraphobic mother because she was so lonely and I figured it would be a good way for her to reach the outside world. She is not going to change, or start leaving the house or joining any support groups so please spare me the therapy route. She's 55 and has left the house maybe a half dozen times in the past two years. Anyway, additional mental issues (hoarding, depression, almost everything you could think of) plagues her on a daily basis. I do what I can for her, and try to remain positive, and try to get her to do daily tasks (like take a shower). Before I came home, it had been about two months since she took a shower. I can now get her to do it maybe twice a week if I'm lucky. However, she has been addicted to Yahoo Answers for months and will sit at her desk for hours instead of doing what she needs to do.
I used to disconnect the modem and blamed it on DNS (which she knows nothing about) but has since started asking questions about if it's hooked up correctly so I can't do that any more. I'm not a computer/IT geek but was wondering if there was a way that I could temporarily block Yahoo or other sites and "blame" it on their servers so she'll get up from the desk and take a damn shower! (for example: The Internet isn't working!!! Oh, let me take a look at it...hmm, google works! The Yahoo servers must be down. Maybe you could get a shower in the meantime!!)
I know this extremely sneaky but I'd rather do it this way than depress her further and say "You're fucking disgusting, take a shower!" because that doesn't work anyway. | Help me block a website temporarily so I can get my mother to take a shower/perform basic hygiene |
t3_1bz43l | relationships | My BF [28/M] thinks our life paths are headed in different directions [21/F]. | My BF requested that he and I take some space a couple of weeks ago to sort out some of our issues. His original claim was that he wanted to end our "cycle" of fights.
We got together last night to shed some light on whats been going on with us and he admitted that there is a deeper issue that has been eating at him. He is almost hitting 30 and has been living in the same area his entire life. He's been working the same job for years and wants a change of pace. He has the desire to leave the state and feels so far removed from everything, including me because of it. He wants to work things out between us, but is conflicted because he feels that we are headed down different paths in our lives. His argument is that it may be easier to end things now than to abruptly end things later when he decides to leave (We've been together now six months). I understand his points but I believe that it would be premature to break up when he doesn't know when or where this move will take place. I want to be there for him during this rough patch in his life, but wonder if that will just do more damage. I care about him and love him so much, but is it time to let him go? | boyfriend wanted space and now I know why |
t3_z7z7i | relationship_advice | My girlfriend [20/f] has been texting/skyping this other guy. | So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. Recently we went through some rough times but I think we got it all back on track. Now I've come to find out that she has been talking to this other guy who is a few years older than her for several weeks. They text, skype, fb chat, and other stuff together. They have even gone as far as to go to lunch together. I know the guy and he has shown signs of interest in the past and them talking makes me really uncomfortable. We all are in college and all attend different schools. After reading some of her texts I think they may be planning on hanging out without my knowledge.
I'm really hesitant to say something about it because I'm afraid she will think I'm not trusting or whatever but I also think that if I don't say something I will continue to get more and more paranoid. This is really stressing me out. | Girlfriend of two years recently started talking to another guy. She says they're just friends but I have reason to suspect they may be more than just friends. What do I do? |
t3_479u1c | relationships | My (28f) parents (50s) are staying in my 1 bed apartment for 2 weeks. Advice? | I moved to the other side of the world to my parents a year ago and they are visiting next week. I love them a lot but they can be a little hard work sometimes and I only have a 1 bed apartment. Advice would be useful so I don't go crazy.
My sofa only sleeps one so it looks like I'll be sleeping in the living room for the two weeks. I'll still need to go to work most days. The kitchen bedroom and bathroom are all off the living room, and the front door opens into the living room. My stuff is of course in the bedroom, so I'll need to dress in there.
Now, my dad has insomnia and will get up randomly in the night. But there isn't anywhere for him to go, apart from my bedroom the apartment is open plan. Even if he got up and went out (nowhere to go nearby) he would still wake me up. Also my parents will have jet lag too. Anyone going to the bathroom or getting a glass of water will disturb me. In the past, my visitors would have the sofa since they would be visiting solo.
So I guess my questions are: what is the best way to deal with having to share such a small space without killing each other? And what about dealing with jet lagged guests that have nowhere else to go? | how to deal with sharing small space with jet lagged parents while maintaining happy relationship |
t3_cznq5 | AskReddit | What is something that you have seen that nobody would believe, but you know to be true. | Mine just happened 5 minutes ago:
I just sat down at my school's library to work on same backed up homework and whatnot. I took a seat close to the back end of the library as to not be bothered, which is actually the back row of seating. Now, a regular pastime of mine is to glance around and see what other people are working on / doing on the library computers. Being in the back row gives me ample opportunity to do such.
Hm, one person playing web game, another watching hardcore porn, and finally just someone watching youtu... wait, what? Someone watching hardcore porn?! On a library machine? With people surrounding him all around? He must have made a mistake and gotten a popup. I mean, who hasn't had that situation come about. The old porn popup in a place of study.
But he isn't changing it. In fact, it seems that he is enjoying it. As in, really enjoying it. His arm is sucked down one sleeve, through his baggy shirt, down his baggy pants, and he is full on spanking the monkey, in the middle of a crowded library at 5 in the afternoon.
Many thoughts travel through my head as to what to do, but I don't get the opportunity to act. He finishes the deed, pulls his arm out of his shirt, and checks his hand for any remnants.
But alas, my phone isn't working, and I was unable to snap a picture.
No proof means nobody will ever believe what I saw.
What did you see? | Saw someone cranking their shaft in the middle of a crowded campus library, and he is still here now. |
t3_165tcs | relationships | Boyfriend 30[m] cheated on me, 21[f] with his ex - she's pregnant now - should I try to salvage the relationship? | I'm a 21 year old college student, my boyfriend is 30 and has a very solid job. For the past year or so, we have been talking about getting married very seriously. I already live with him, and we have been very happy in the time that we've been living together. We were both very conscious of the other and frequently seeking to do better and make the other happier.
Recently, I learned that my boyfriend had sex with his ex-girlfriend, who he was with before me for 9 years. She broke up with him several times over that period, and he said he was certain that they would never work. The only reason I found out about them sleeping together was because she is now pregnant.
I moved from my home and my family to be with him and I just got residency in the state, so I cannot transfer (I will not be able to afford out of state costs). I don't feel like I can talk to my friends of family about it because I will just look like a complete fool for moving for this guy, even though it really felt right and more than anything I thought it would work out and I truly love him.
I think he is going to leave me for his ex, because he feels responsible for the child - which I understand, I guess. He has said that he won't be happy in that relationship and he is simply going to resign himself to making the sacrifice for the child. I feel really hurt and I don't know what to do. I want to salvage the relationship - I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Should I try to stay and make something work or should I just give up?
I guess I'm just looking for some advice. | was going to marry my boyfriend, found out he cheated on me with his ex, she's pregnant. Should I try to stay? |
t3_3j0tns | relationships | I [24/F] am having trouble understanding guy's texting habits | I have just recently started dating again, and I've consistently come across the same issue with the few guys I've talked to. These two guys in particular both pursued me, asked me for my number, and texted me as soon as they got it to tell me that the really want to hang out sometime etc. I'm far from clingy(if anything, a bit reserved), but I also make it clear when I do like a guy.
This second guy [29] in particular keeps starting a conversation and then just stops responding randomly. It really annoys me... am I overreacting? I just don't get why you would actively pursue someone and then get all hot and cold for seemingly no reason. He's told me multiple times that he thinks I'm beautiful and that he really wants to take me out(which we have planned), but then he will disappear for days at a time, only to reappear with something cute to say, and then poof, he's gone again. I don't understand this! Yesterday he told me he was going to call me tonight, but instead sent me one or two generic texts before disappearing again. UGH. Why does he even bother? Same goes for the other guy. Am I reading too much into this? What's the deal? | I've noticed that guys can be very hot and cold when it comes to texting. Is this normal or does it mean something? |
t3_2hmi36 | legaladvice | Storage Facility Flooded, Insurance Company Claims Owner was Negligent | **Location:**
Texas, USA
**Overview:**
I moved some things into a storage facility for a few months while I was in the process of graduating college/moving. When I came to check on my stuff after the summer was over, I found that the facility had at some point flooded, and was also infested with mice.
I had renters insurance that covered my storage facility, and covered flooding but when the adjuster came out he found signs of previous flooding, as well as a completely inoperable french drain system on the perimeter (Inoperable because it had filled with so much silt and mud that it no longer drained anything). He had to inform us, and the insurance company that they wouldn't be paying because the business owner had been negligent about known flooding issues.
When we reported this to the co-owner, my father and I both heard him say "Ah, well we did have to move our office from that side of the lot because of flooding." At which point my father and I said "So...you admit you knew there was flooding? You realize that negligence on your part?" To which this guy said "Blah blah, you signed a contract, not liable, blah blah" and told us to talk to his son who is "a lawyer in Dallas."
So at this point, I begin proceedings to take this guy to small claims court. We register the case with the county court and after a time get this letter from the guys lawyer. The summary of this letter seems to be "My client did nothing wrong, the case should be dismissed"
So at this point my father and I aren't sure how to proceed. We assume that we have to respond soon to say something along the lines of....we have evidence and this case should be seen by a judge. That being said, we aren't lawyers and we aren't sure the best way to proceed. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. And please let me know if I can answer any questions | I rented a storage facility that flooded. Insurance won't pay saying owner was negligent. Owner hires lawyer to have the small claims case we brought against him dismissed. How do you think we should proceed? |
t3_380r2a | relationships | I am [25F] with [27M] we have been together for almost 4 years, Fought on Friday, Hes Ignored me All Weekend | We have been together for 4 years and have lived together for most of that time. We picked out a house together. We have dogs together. We do everything together.
We got into a fight on Friday over something that shouldnt have caused such a response like this. He wants to break up. His solution to any really big fight we have is to break up. He will say really hurtful things to me. All I try to do is defend myself but he just doesnt want to hear what I have to say. He thinks he is always right and I am always wrong. Then when we try to make up he says that I need to be better. When in reality he doesnt take any blame for anything hes said to me. He says so have some class, as he is making fun of how I grew up. I grew up middle class. I have no idea why he says those kinds of things to hurt me. How I grew up shouldnt even be in the discussion because it was irrelevant. I am his first real relationship. He lets his anger get the best of him and it hurts the people that love him the most. As he takes it out on them.
He left to go to his dads on Friday. He has not spoken to me all weekend. The last thing we talked about was we are broken up. And since I can not get a word out of him to discuss what is really happening, as he pretends to break up with me more than a few times a year. I am doing my very best to keep it together. Ive started packing and I have started looking for a place.
Why after all this time does he treat me like I dont exist? Like our past 4 years meant nothing? | Got into a fight. He fake breaks up with me all the time. He did it again. Yet has ignored me all weekend. I think its real this time. |
t3_28ndi3 | Advice | Family problems, need suggestions | Hello, I'll give you a long story, I live with my mother, and brother who have been raised wrong. I on the other hand had the Internet to influence me to be a "good" person. But I have trouble living here, because I resist my anger that is caused by their faults. I try to neatly correct them. But not enough for them to change their ways. I don't want to do anymore that I am doing, because I don't want to be a dictator.
Since I'm resisting my anger on them. It's bottling up and I do tend to snap, but not on them I try to enhance my studying with my bottled up feelings so I get better grade (hasn't work so far)
But today I've come to realized that I'm forgetting their personal life, Like I don't know there birthdays no more, and honestly I don't care about them no more. They treat me badly. but still "care" for me, I swear they just say that to not hurt my feeling.
So I've come to reddit for Advice. | My family are strangers to me because I try to ignore them because I feel that they are inferior to me, Should I continue to block them out, or give me reasons why not to. |
t3_4n9v03 | relationships | How to handle this situation and make it better. M23 | Hi there, thanks for reading.
I have been dating this girl for about 3 months now. Things were going pretty well, allthough im a pretty anxious guy myself. At one point she asked me if we were in a relationship. Which i acknowledged. We were so hppy together then.
Lately she seems distant, whenever i try to hold her hand in public she pulls away and awkwardly grabs her own hand. Maybe she just feels weird to do that. At the moment i didnt think too much of it, but adding things up makes it "more of a deal?"
She seems unable to make time for me, maybe once a week for half a day is best she can do. (Which i find weird, we all have 24 hours in a day, if you truly love someone you will find time.) Like last week i texted her what she did that evening. She responded with imma go swimming or go to bed early since it was a long weekend. I respected this decision and told her that whenever she is free she can text me and maybe im available then too, perhaps to go and grab a bite somewhere.(placing the ball in her court cause i was always initiating). That same evening i saw a facebook post of her "chilling and watching a movie". I was like wth, perhaps she needs some alone time, but at least tell me. Id understand...Texting never was her strong suit, short clear texts like goodmorning and goodnight or sleep well. I felt like after that text i should wait for her to pickup the phone and message me. Silly silly me. We havent texted since. | Girlfriend losing interest in me, didnt text for a week. |
t3_39cbd9 | relationships | How do I (29M) breakup with a great girl (24F) who hasn't done anything wrong? | I've been seeing a girl I met on OKCupid for the past three months. We've been hanging out 1 or 2 times a week, have spent the night at each others house a couple of times (we usually don't spend the night, as she snores quite loudly and its almost impossible for me to sleep through it), and text every day (no phone calls). She has said "I love you" (after a month) but was drunk and it was during sex, I just kissed her and went with the flow and didn't say it back (and haven't because I'd be lying). We get along great, she's met my friends (not my parents) and I've met her friends and her parents. We have not had a relationship talk, but neither of us is seeing anyone else (she's told me, and she prefers to date multiple people at a time when not in a relationship). She's cute, she makes me laugh, the sex is incredible, and we have a bit in common.
Despite all of that, I just don't feel it with her. I like her, but it feels like something is missing and I don't know what it is. I am going to break up with her, I just don't know what to say without being like "It's not you, it's me". Last time I ended things with a woman, I did it in person (after a month or so, 10 dates) and she got a bit upset at me for not breaking up with her by text (because she had set the evening aside to hang out, made dinner, etc). That's fair, but is that approach right in a situation like this? I don't want to have her get super excited to see me one evening only to have me show up and break up with her, but at the same time I don't want to just text her "we should see other people, it's not you it's me" one evening because it just seems cold. I know she's going to be crushed either way, because I can tell she adores me.
WHAT DO I DO REDDIT? | want to break up with a nice girl but don't know how. |
t3_2cenoc | relationships | I [16M] want to tell one of my best friends that i like her [16F]. | I've been friends with her for about a year now and I've always had feelings for her. We've gotten really close due to all the activities we do in school together. And she is in my friend group that i hang out with a lot.
I feel I have been waiting too long to tell her how i feel about her and i want to do it now. My plan is to talk to her on thursday. My band is playing a gig at a coffee shop and she should be going. After the show I want to pull her to the side and tell her my feelings. I've been thinking about saying "I really like you and i was just wondering how you felt about me." If all goes well I'll ask her out on a date. If not, I'll tell her no hard feelings.
Is that good? I really dont know. The last time i tried this was with my best friend and she only went out with me for pity. She ended up breaking up with me after 3 days of not talking to me. I just dont want that to happen again. Please give me some advice. | Really like one of my best friends and i want tell her how i feel. Help! |
t3_3y24py | dating_advice | I'm Confused About A Situation! | **So here's the breakdown.**
**I'll start off with my background:**
I am a junior in high school. I am a male. My hobbies are music, video games, sports, computers. I'm not extremely popular but not looked down upon. I am really self-conscious about almost everything I do.
**The girl's background:**
She is a senior, one year older than me. She is rather popular. She has the same interests in music as me (Shinedown, Nickelback, etc.)
**How things started and are going now:**
She would always like my social media stuff and comment on them. I added her on snapchat and one day she snapped me first. We talked the whole day and pretty much have for the past 2 weeks.
But here is the problem. Before we started snapping she was "talking" to another guy (a freshman). He asked her out after like the first week of us talking, it hurt me a little. We still talk all the time.
I was going to ask her to go out to eat and go to a hockey game on New Years Eve, would that be weird if she has a bf? Also, do you think I have a chance?
If you need anymore info please let me know.
Thanks for reading! | I'm confused about a situation with a girl |
t3_wi1tn | AskReddit | What's the worst thing your parents have accused you of doing? I'll start. | So last night I was having a few friends over, and my friends were out having a smoke when my mother walked into the kitchen, looked out the glass door outside and apparently saw my friend lighting up some tin foil with a lighter. He was checking his phone. She then immediately assumed we were smoking crack, and accused us of doing drugs.
What didn't help though was that my friend then bolted out to his car because he forgot to post a letter for his dad, and it looked like he was trying to run away. After what should have been a 5 minute drive ended up being 30, because he had to drive to the main post office so it would be sent in the first batch in the morning. Mother was not pleased. | Mother accused me and friends of smoking crack, but DM;HS |
t3_3b0piy | askwomenadvice | I work for a shipping company and a girl just asked for my phone number, but my phone is currently disconnected. Would it be weird to send her a card since I have her address on file? | So about 2 days ago this beautiful woman came in. We talked and we seemed to have hit it off. She leaves and comes back about 2 minutes later, when I asked her if she forgot something she said, "Yea what's your phone number?" So I gave her my number, but it was only until today that I spoke to a friend and he told me that my phone wasn't working that my account had been suspended. To which I think to myself well I haven't heard from her maybe that's why would it be weird or creepy if I sent her a card to her house, since I have her address on our computer? | Met a really gorgeous girl here at work, (I work at a shipping company), she asked for my number and I gave it to her only to realize later that my phone is disconnected would it be weird or desperate to send her a card in the mail? I'm 21 she's around the same age. |
t3_1ta40h | offmychest | Fucking tired of being the target of everything for my family | Seriously... anything goes wrong and somehow i gotta take part in being the culprit... can't stand this shit, man. I've studied my ass off just so o could get on a good uni... if i don't, i'm sorry, but if you would please refrain from putting that much weight on my back, i would be grateful too! Also, why does whenever something goes missing, i'm he first suspect? So, 140 dollars of mine go missing after the cleaning lady comes by my room and you think it's just me with my terrible memory, mom? Well, there you go. Three fucking months later and we find out not only was her, but she had also stolen other things as well. So much for blaming me. The first time i lost my wallet and cellphone, only a month ago and you treat me like a god damn criminal. My sister has lost so many cellphones and broken some too, she doesn't get half the shit i get. And she's 20, 2 years older than i am!!! C'MON! Then, after getting a new ID, someone "cleans" my room and it goes missing... and you guys come to tell me that we are going to a cousin's wedding 150 miles away next weekend and i need to find my ID, otherwise... fuck, seriously? If i was a conspirationist, i would say you're doing this shit to completely fuck me over... on my own fucking vacation. It's like you people HAVE TO throw your problems at me, make some, just when i'm tryna get a grip, a room to breath. But i guess it's a lost cause for me either way. | Being the younger one, as an adult, fucking blows. |
t3_k0q05 | AskReddit | Pet specialists: Our cat is very stupid and runs to his old territory (our old apt) every time we let him outside. Tips on retraining him? | My best guess is that he needs to prowl at night (he meows like a bitch all night every time we keep him in) and there is nowhere to hide in our new yard. I tried building him a fort but it wasn't solid enough I think, he needs to feel protected. He is very fear oriented and has to hide under things, in bushes, under abandoned houses, where "they" can't get him.. causing us lots and lots of anguishing trips to try to recapture him so he doesn't die from worms/cars. Girlfriend rescued him off the street when he was about 6 months old and dying of lung worms.. born a street cat, always a street cat? Winter is coming and he'll probably die if he keeps trapping himself outside like this. Most of the time we can't even find him. We climb strangers fences and I'm surprised we haven't been approached by police. | I would appreciate some tips on retraining our cat to think of our current house as home when he wanders off at night. |
t3_37eduo | relationships | My [17F] insecurities are stopping me from happiness with a guy [17M] | I'm 17 and I really like this boy and he likes me too. Most people would say he isn't good looking but I do and he's really shy which I adore. And he said he would want to talk to me and hang out but I freaked out and told him I didn't mean it. He didn't seem to feel bothered by it.
I really like him and the reason I don't pursue anything because of my insecurities. I'm 5'1 and like 110 pounds but I hold a lot of my weight in my hips and it makes my body look weird. He's also pretty skinny and I feel like I could never even want him to hug me because he would feel my fat. I have a lot more insecurities but my weight is the most of my problems.
I really like him but I'm so nervous and inexperienced I don't know what to do. | won't date a guy because he's skinnier then me. should I not bother him with my baggage and leave him alone or try it out? |
t3_pvurf | AskReddit | So, Reddit, I deleted my facebook account. Now what? | I feel like I was hooked really bad. All the time, when browsing, I'll see things and I'll immediately go, "Ooh! I'll post that on ____'s wall! They'll love this!" So it's probably for the best.
So, what are some good things to do? Any subreddits I should check out? Any other websites? Any albums/songs to listen to? If you've got any outdoors suggestions, keep the following in mind: 1) It's getting late. 2) I have no car. 3) I'm in the freezing American Midwest, so I'm limited by temperature as far as walking is concerned. 4) I'm not of age to drink, so I can't go out to a bar.
I also can't do half of the things I normally do(xbox live, WoW, netflix, etc) because my credit card had to be cancelled, and the new one hasn't shown up yet. | Recovering facebook addict with no money or car, what to do with all of my free time? |
t3_xra1d | relationship_advice | [17 M] Can't stop thinking about the ex | Hi guys and gals. First and foremost thank you for taking time out of your day/night to listen to my predicament I have here.
I broke up with my girlfriend about four or five months ago. The reason I broke up with her was because she had trust issues due to her past relationships and didn't trust me talking to girls, always questioning me when I do talk to my friends that are girls etc. Needless to say it didn't end too well for us and we no longer speak.
Not a day goes by that I haven't thought about her. I miss her a ridiculous amount and I keep telling myself "hey suck it up pussy l, get your shit together and move on." Let me tell you, this is easier said than done.
The only reason why I'm not spilling my guts to her and apologizing for everything I've done is because she's moved on. I don't want to set her back by trying to force myself into her life just so I can be happy that we're talking again. I'm conflicted. Thanks again for any and all who read this. Comments and advice and any outside opinion would be greatly appreciated. Thanks | broke up with girl, want her back conflicted if I should apologize |
t3_2zkxym | relationships | Me [22 F] with my [22/M] 3 years. He broke up with me and wants to be friends | My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. He said we argue too much, and he couldn't take it anymore. I continued to try and give him reasons to hold on and fight for us, but he continued to insist on being friends. I agreed because I would rather have him in my life somehow than not at all.
He told me he loves me, still cares about me, and wants to see if we can slowly work things out by this being "friends" thing. We do still talk everyday as well.
Today out of no where, he told me I'm a dumb b!Tch for still wanting to be with him and trying to hold on to what can't be fixed. I did nothing disrespectful to him, and he continued to yell at me saying "why the F do you wanna be with an asshole like me? What do you see in me? This shit isn't gonna work out."
I feel stupid because he knows he "got it like that" with me, and that no matter what he says I would still want to be with him.
I'm just confused because I thought the whole point of us being friends was to work things out. Shouldn't he be happy that I'm willing to stick things out as friends for the sake of us MAYBE getting back together? I just don't understand his hot and cold behavior. If he really loved me why would he have said anything like that anyways? | Do I continue to hold on and cooperate with him wanting to be friends to eventually work things out one day? Is love putting up with this type of behavior? Is him being an asshole his way of trying to force me to let go? |
t3_lmnsk | AskReddit | Lifeguards of Reddit, what is the strangest thing that you've had to deal with? | I'll go first. At our outdoor facility, squirrels love to frequent the leftover food from all of the tables. One day I was cleaning up before closing so we could all leave on time, since there was that one person who comes in the last 5 minutes that forces the lifeguards to stay on duty. While I was sweeping, a squirrel was eating some trash off the ground and I chased it off. Then, while I was emptying out all the trashcans, I went to the last one. It was shaking a bit but I didn't think anything of it. When I opened the lid, 5 squirrels all jumped out and attacked me, then ran off. | Squirrels got revenge on me for scaring their squirrel brethren during clean up. |
t3_4twlzd | relationships | I [24F] am too insecure and it's ruining my relationship. | I have always been insecure. I act like I'm not but I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and I feel jealous often.
I've learned to deal with it over the years. About a year ago, I started dating a guy [25M]. We had been friends for three years before that.
I've noticed my self-consciousness get even worse. He's a professional athlete, so he's surrounded by really successful people all the time. His parents were professional athletes. His brother is a retired professional athlete. His sister-in-law is a doctor. All his friends are professional athletes. His ex has worked at some of the largest tech firms in the country.
It's just a lot to live up to. I don't know how to be okay with myself. I close myself off a lot and I feel so stupid and boring when I talk to him.
I know he loves me. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not worthy. How do I deal with this? | I've always had issues with self-confidence, but I've recently started dating a guy and it's making it a million times worse. Help. |
t3_189ax4 | relationship_advice | I feel like my faith in our relationship is faltering... | This is my first relationship and even though I may not know everything but i have always trusted my instincts and it usually proves me right. For some background, i have been with my girl for about 5 months. she has had a past relationship with her ex for 5 years. with that said, last night I opened up to my girl and told her that I knew she didn't love me even though I'm in love with her. She asked me how I knew and I told her that it was because she still texted her ex and I guessed that she told him that she still loved him. She said she hadn't said it for a long time and when I asked her when she last told him she loved him she said she told him last month. Her excuse was that she has a history with him but I feel like that's not a justification to text him. She did say that she wants to prove to me she loves me by the gift she is going to give me on valentines day. Unfortunately, I don't know what came over me but I told her I think I'm the right one for her and I'm not tripping about her ex. However, I feel stupid now because after I thought about it I realized that she's not giving me 100% when I've been giving her all my love. I told her before it was okay to text him but I didn't think she would still tell him she loved him. I feel as if by still texting him, she is almost emotionally cheating on me. As of right now, I feel like I can't love her as much, my faith in her is declining and that I am going to treat her differently. I'm going to talk to her and tell her that I don't want her to text her ex anymore because its not fair to me and my feelings. However I know she will find a way to turn it back on me and tell me that he chooses me over him because she always wants to physically be with me. Does anyone have advice on how I should handle this? If more info is required I will gladly share. Thank you! | told my girl I love her but last month she texted her ex that she still loves him. She said she loves me but she wants to prove it by her present that she will give me on valentines day. I want to tell her not to text her ex anymore. |
t3_1xts4t | relationships | Me [18F] with my SO [20 M] 6 months. LDR. He's let me down again and I'm so angry. | First off, I am really angry with him right now. I'm living abroad at the moment and it wasn't possible for us to spend valentine's day together (in my opinion because he was too lazy to get a passport in time). So we were going to send each other cards with a few little gifts in the envelope.
I sent mine in plenty of time, he said it arrived a couple of days ago. I spoke to him today and he said he hasn't sent mine yet. As in, it's not even in the post. This, to be honest, is what I'd been expecting. I was hoping I would be able to wake up tomorrow and open a card from him, but in the back of my mind I knew that wouldn't happen. I've been let down and not cared about by a lot of people in my life and he knows that. This is just making me so upset
I know this might seem petty, but he's always letting me down and not doing things. It's like he doesn't care. I think he's lazy and selfish. He says he loves me and he cares but I very rarely see the evidence. So this is the final straw for me.
And he's blaming it on his depression again. He blames everything on his depression. He's unemployed, his place is a pig sty and he's almost homeless. He does nothing to help himself and uses me as an emotional crutch. I have severe depression too, I'm on meds and have tried to kill myself multiple times in the past year but I still manage to show him that I care.
Am I overreacting? I have no idea. I'm just so sick of this and the whole relationship is such a headache. I think I love him but I don't know what to do?? | LDR. Hasn't posted me a valentine's card. Final straw as he's always letting me down. I'm so angry/upset. Am I overreacting? What should I do? |
t3_ttkmb | AskReddit | Reddit - What's your best story you tell? | My three roommates and I had a party the night before. I didn't drink at the time. They went to the bar the next night, I stayed in after doing something with my girlfriend at the time. They come home after bar close, I hear lots of noise and girls laughing. My roommate comes in and says, "Dude, don't come downstairs." Naturally, I went downstairs.
There is a girl shaving another girls pubic region while sitting on our stove. Everyone laughs, the girls tell me to join the party, I say no thanks and go upstairs. They take about five minutes then bust into my room completely naked. And invite me again, I say no, I have a gf and won't be joining.
Time passes, I hear doors close and silence. I go downstairs to get a glass of water and my guitar and see my roommate fucking one of the girls on the couch, right next to my guitar. He says, "Hey, bud. What ya doing?" I came that far, so I grabbed my guitar and left.
Time passes, hear some doors close again, brave out of my room to use the bathroom. On my way, notice two of my roommates doing the chicks on a bed with a wide open door, while my third roommate stands at the end fluffing himself. A full on five some, but with a little awkwardness of the one man out at the time.
So I quit, and go to bed, enough of my naked roommates all over the fucking house drinking day old warm keg beer and railing chicks. I'm not that socially awesome.
The sidenote part, as I heard the story from their perspective the next day, one of the girls is mildly dating my fat roommate. My fat roommate finished, went down and got some tuna salad out of the fridge. Still naked he walks back in eating it, makes the other roommate try it while he is inside a girl's butt. Tuna salad falls on her back. Gross times all around. | My roommates had a five-some while I was sober and I witnessed way too much of it. |
t3_32k637 | tifu | TIFU grammar. | So today I decided to post a link to my imgur album about my little pranks that I do on my gf. We have an agreement where we should keep the upstairs of our house nice and tidy and grownup looking, and I get to have the basement all to myself to show off my nerdy things. But I like to hide some geeky toys in innocuous places upstairs for a laugh. Well unfortunately, because of the way I worded the title of the post, it's #1 on the fp of reddit right now and I'm being bombarded with comments that my gf is a bitch and I have no balls... The title reads "My gf told me I'm not allowed to have any geeky stuff upstairs, it all goes in the basement. Never underestimate a manchild." But I most definitely should have written it "My gf and I agreed that the upstairs should be nerd-free and look grown-up. I have secretly broken that agreement." | grammar mistake makes me appear as if I'm in a controlling relationship on fp of reddit. |
t3_2p5x3e | relationships | [21F] with [23M], I am very much needing advice regarding our sexual relationship. | Hey. I am a 21 yo female in a new relationship with a 23 yo male. We've been dating for around 5 months now.
Over the course of our relationship, ive discovered, lets call him Joe, has some mental issues due to his younger childhood regarding depression, ocd, anxiety, etc. Because of this, he takes extensive amounts of medication daily.
I know now that he has issues getting aroused. From the amount of medication he HAS to take, its pretty much a dead noodle down there. So, we've tried a couple different medications prescribed by his doctor, like Viagra and Cialis. He takes multiple pills of the highest dosage and it wont last. We've only managed to have sex (sort of) once, pretty unsatisfying for me.
I cannot communicate how frustrated i am, considering how sexually active i was before, to absolutely nothing now. I am at a loss of what i can do for a solution. I really love this guy, and besides this one huge problem, i could see myself spending the rest of my life with him.
I dont want to end things with such an amazing guy, but i just..dont know, short of suggesting having an open relationship. | My boyfriend takes copius amounts of medication for mental issues. Cant get a boner to last even when he takes high dosages of boner pills. Regular sex seems impossible. What to do! |
t3_40qdar | relationships | How do I [20f] start dating | I never dated before or had any romantic interests. I was all ways focused on school or work.
I have nothing really going for me either. I live in a town with little to no opportunity. There is no hobbies/clubs I could join, as there are no classes for it (out side of a collage). I am currently not in school so I cannot join a club.
I'm bad at social engagements because I can never find common ground with anyone. Everyone knows everyone in my town and apparently everyone I know considers "me the odd one out". I do not have overly feminine interests like the other females here. It seems the males here prefers women with feminine interests.
Over all I am a very dull person. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm apparently conventionally attractive. But I feel like I am just being told that because they're my friends and family. I am pretty sure I am just average.
Everyone here is pretty much the same. I live in the deep south and I don't conform to the typical "southern" gal everyone wants.
I am always the odd ball out. I am really interested in males hobbies (computers, games, comics ect) but there is no opportunity for that here. I have tried online dating and everyone with in a reasonable travel zone wants a southern women who can go to church with them. I am not that.
How can I find a potential partner and better myself for a relationship? | in a dead beat town and I'm as interesting as a rock |
t3_s3rl4 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, I would love some help in life. | My mom wants to go live with my grandmother but she can't since my brother is doing bad in school. He is skipping classes, not going to school, just being a rebellious teen in general. Which is giving my mom such a hard time. My mom and dad do not get along very well, my dad doesn't love her, he sleeps in his own room and shuts her out almost completely. She wants to go to live with my grandma in another state because she thinks it will "refresh their marriage being apart for sometime." Don't get me wrong, it has worked (once) no guarantee it will work again though. I finished highschool and am currently working, I want to get into the Navy but I just can't leave my dysfunctional family.
What has become broken can be fixed. | dumb as nails brother can't get his shit together in school, dad doesn't love mom, mom wants to go live with grandma. |
t3_4uex2r | relationships | Feelings I [21M] have for a girl [22F] is massivly holding me back | OK serious case of caught feelings here. This is really putting me back and I cannot seem to move on and is seriously harming my love/sex life.
This is about a girl I met through mutual friends at uni I was close to. I did sleep with her and spent a bit of time around her but nothing ever progressed further than a few shares of a bed. As much as I wanted it to I never even asked to take things further - at the time I'm pretty certain things could have.
Anyway I still have crazy bad feelings for this girl. I've finished uni, got myself a job, but she still has a couple of years left at uni. I now work away from home and a fair distance away from what was my uni (still in the same country). However could so be relocating nearer to home at my old uni. I also do travel so would be willing to go see her.
Me having these feelings for this girl is stopping me from finding someone else to share my life with. I've tried Tinder and going out to meet others but I keep 'forcing' myself to hold out for this girl, hoping something may happen.
I keep thinking about a message I could send her just to get it off my chest. If she comes back and say she has no feelings towards me and there is no chance of anything happening then I'm fairly certain I can move on. I'm a bit curious about this as she could then think of me as some kind of weirdo? Girls, what would you do if this happened to you? Would she mock me with her friends.
I'm not talking to her over FB or Whatsapp every day, in fact the last messaged her was well over a month ago, however she does still acknowledge my existence and likes a couple of my tweets, FB posts and we have exchanged general chit chat over Twitter mentions.
Like I've already said, this is holding me back massively - I don't want it to start effecting my working life as I've worked hard to be where I am.
Advice on this would be massively appreciative. Thank you in advance | Girl I met I uni I caught feelings for. Can't let go of those feelings and is holding me back. |
t3_4juoe4 | relationships | Me [21 F] feel like I have nobody and want to know how to deal with hard times? | I grew up in a negligent and abusive home as the oldest. I never had a hard time making friends or getting boyfriends, but I moved schools so many times (15 schools in my 12 years) that I never was able to build deep, meaningful relationships. I've become pretty independent emotionally and try my best to deal with things through research and seeking counseling sessions when things become unbearable.
I moved back in with my mom (who is no longer married to my abusive step dad) but she is still very negligent to my younger siblings (17 F and 9 M). I also live with my grandmother (60 F) and great grandmother (90 F). My grandmother is loving but she's hard to have a relationship with and my great grandmother is now dying. We think she only has a few weeks left, maybe even a few days. I'm in a relationship of 7 months to an amazing guy (24 M) and I've made some acquaintances and work friends in the last 9 months that I've lived here. I have childhood friends but we've grown distant just because life gets busy. My dad isn't really available that often because he has his own hardships with his girlfriend because she has drug induced psychosis. I'm becoming overwhelmed and a little depressed with everything, especially my great grandmother being on her deathbed. I want a shoulder I can blubber on in times like this and the only person who I feel close enough to is my boyfriend but I don't know what I'd do if we broke up. I'm working on strengthening my other acquaintanceships but I'm having a hard time feeling close to any of these people. I have a history of depression and panic attacks and have had friends distance themselves from me in the past because my depression overwhelmed them. So, I don't want to ruin the relationships I'm trying to build now. I'm being myself with these people but I'm not really showing them the messy side of my depression and anxiety. I feel really alone and I don't really know how to deal. Any reddit wisdom? | How to deal with hard times (like deaths in the family) when you have depression and anxiety but don't want to ruin your relationships with the messy side of it all? |
t3_4i4cxf | relationships | Me (m29) and my wife (27) are struggling to cope with past infidelity and relationship issues. I worried it's falling apart. | Hi. I have been with my wife for almost 6 years. Married for 12 months.
At the start of our relationship I messed up big time and cheated and or spoke inappropriately with other women.
We stayed together and have enjoyed a great relationship.
However, my past actions have created some pretty severe trust issues between us that at times get brought to a head and create a very tense and upsetting atmosphere.
I struggle to show emotion at the best of time but in these situations I shut down which just makes it all worse.
Our arguments about it have been happening more frequently and she has on a couple of occasions said she doesn't know if she wants to be here anymore or not. I'm terrified I will lose her bit don't know what to do to keep her.
Tonight I came home and her phone was on the table, I couldn't help but look and she has been messaging an old fling who is not shy about wanting to hook up with her. She has turned the offer down, but in a flirty manner. The are planning meet up for coffee next week.
Now I've made matters worse by looking at her phone too which is obviously private.
Sorry for the wall and the poor grammar. On mobile. | ? I am worried my wife is about to cheat and may be about to leave me. |
t3_3dxtz5 | relationships | Girlfriend (20f) and I (24m) of 6 months, broke up because she doesn't know if she wants me in her life yet. | This is an update from
We broke up on Friday. The hardest part is the fact that we live in the same apartment building. She said she doesn't want to resent me because she is young and doesn't want to have the what if moment in her life. She doesn't know if she needs me in her life right now or not. One of the reasons why we were together for so long was that I was different from the other guys and I was the longest relationship she's had.
So I understand and still hurts because of the emotional investment we put into this relationship. Practically living together and knowing everything about each other, then all of a sudden break up.
I'm confused. I would think, from my past experience, that once you've broken up you would return each other's belongings and proceed to get over each other. Granted it's only been two days but we live next to each other. Wouldn't make it easier? Still parks in the same spot I used too, still has my shirts that she would obsess over and some small items I've left over there. On top of all that, the night we broke up, I tried giving her the key to her apartment back and she wouldn't take it.
So I'm just confused and wondering if I should just move on or what.... It sucks. I don't want to have hope that maybe she'll change her mind but at the same time I just want to know.. I want to understand what's going on. | Confused because she is still holding on to my things |
t3_23xnj3 | relationship_advice | [21f] Exclusivity talk with guy[22m] I'm dating? Is it even appropriate to ask now? | So I have been dating this guy for a month now and I really like him. However he seems reluctant to talk about the relationship at this point and sometimes I wonder how interested he is in me. Initially I asked him out, arranged the first few dates and made all the effort. He's only just now starting to do relationshippy things like texting everyday and surprising me with flowers.
Thing is I was asked out by a different guy recently. I'm more interested in the first guy but I'm not sure if the first guy actually wants to date me or is just into the sexy stuff. On one hand I feel like I should date guy 2 on the other hand I feel guilty since things are starting to get more serious with guy 1. (guy 1 dodges an actual relationship talk but has asked before if I'm seeing other people, my answer before was no but at the time I was too much of a wuss to ask him if he was seeing other people)
Is it too early in the relationship to ask guy 1 about being exclusive? I have no idea what scares off guys. I also am pretty sure that guy 1's answer to the talk will be different if he realizes that there is another guy, at this point I think he sees me as a shy nerdy virgin that asked him out and hasn't realized that just because I'm inexperienced doesn't mean I don't get offers, before I was just too shy to act on them. I've refrained from and wasn't planning mentioning the other guys because it seems manipulative. And I know I'm being petty and ridiculous.
So should I just go on a first date with guy 2, see what happens, and wait for guy 1 to bring up exclusivity on his own time? Is that normal for dating in college or at this point should I ask about my current relationship(?) first? | dating one guy for a month, can't tell where its going, another guy asks me out, do I tell first guy I want to be exclusive or just go out with the other guy and see what happens? |
t3_3ate4a | relationship_advice | [20/M] My girlfriend's [21/F] mom is trying to break us up | Hello!
May it is useful to tell a bit about myself. I'm a 20-year old graphic designer from The Netherlands and I visit Japan often. I got offered a good job in Tokyo and will start there in September. My girlfriend is from The Philippines but moved to Japan a year ago together with her mom and sister. We love each other a lot and always chat during the day in Skype in the night (due to time difference). However yesterday she said maybe we should be friends instead of lovers. We had plans to eventually move in together (she still lives at home but wants to move out) and are very serious about our relationship. Her mom doesn't like her dating a 'foreigner' and want her to focus on her career (I don't see why you can't focus on your career and have a relationship? Im always supporting her a lot). I know she wants to stay together and she still loves me a lot but her mom is making it impossible for her.
How can I deal with this? I don't want to break up (and neither does she). Especially not because the main reason is her mom not liking her dating a 'foreigner' (while her mom also married a foreigner). It's a lot of stress my girlfriend (her mom also always checks everything) | My girlfriend's mom is trying to break us up because she doesn't want her daughter to date a foreigner. |
t3_gz9lk | cats | Hey /r/cats how can we convince our cat that sitting on laps is super cosy and full of win? | We resuced our cat, Kalimah, off the streets about 3 years ago when she was about 8 weeks old. Her mother had disappeared when her and her siblings were only about 2 weeks old and a lady who lived by the alley where they were born kept them alive by leaving sausage mince and milk out for them. They had very little human interaction until the husband and I showed up and whisked her away.
She was very sick when we got her with a severe lung infection and a case of the Houdini's (on the day we got her, she managed to jump off a 2nd storey balcony, hurt her mouth a bit, but then proceeding to evade capture by 3 hominids for another half hour). She came around quite quickly though, and within 2 days was letting us pat her and was seeking attention from us and had learnt all the important indoor cat things (what a litter tray is for etc...). We spent a bucket load of cash at the vets getting her well and fixed and tattooed and now she's a picture of health and happiness.
Thing is though, she has never been a 'lap cat' and we'd desperately love her to be. She will let you pick her up and she will sit on your lap briefly while you pat her, but she is never at ease with it and always wiggles away (only to come back to your feet, begging for pats again a few moments later).
Does anyone have any tips for training a very stubborn cat to sit on laps and be comfortable with it? | Stupid lardy cat don't know what's good. Won't enjoy lap pats like cats should. Looking for training tips. |
t3_1p7lz6 | AskReddit | Reddit, what is this really strange package I got through the post completely out of nowhere? (pics included)... | Okay, so I come home from work today to an envelope with what looked like arabic/middle eastern writing on wrote where my name would go and addressed to my home address...
The package felt like it had something rigid inside it, and a picture of what looked like a muslim lady in a niqab on the back, so I wasn't sure whether to open it. Anyway, I manned up and cut away the corner and had a feel inside for wires and such (damned paranoia).
There were no wires so I went ahead and opened it all of the way to find some strange things and a USB stick.
[HERE] is the album of things inside, I have no idea wtf they are, but it looks like some strange propaganda or something, the only text inside in english was some writing on a tag (on the USB stick) which looks like it says **PLAY** and some writing on another picture of a woman which looks like it says **PAKI**.
There's also a large card which says VONLEELA on it, what the fuck is a vonleela?
I'm not sure whether to try open the USB stick, in case it's some kind of virus shit or something that isn't for me and has some anti-government (get me in trouble kind of shit on it) What the fuck should I do reddit? | Got a package to my house, with some random shit inside and a usb stick, wtf do I do? [pics here]( |
t3_lr26r | AskReddit | Reddit medical/nursing/research students: Are cadavers, that is, bodies which have been donated to science, generally/usually treated respectfully and with dignity, in your experience? | I wonder a lot about this. Because of my Crohn's Disease I have sometimes though about donating my body to research when I die, and having just been told a story about another, older man with CD who did just that, I have a renewed interest.
I'm not one who places a huge value on physical remains. It's really just meat, or at least, that's what I tell myself. I've always intended to forbid a wake in my will, or a funeral. I'd like a memorial party if my surviving family wants one, but not the traditional stuff. I'd like my body to be cremated and the ashes thrown out in a cardboard box.. UNLESS my cadaver might be useful to research.
That all said, it occurs to me that I don't want my remains to be treated disrespectfully by overtaxed, overtired, overworked graduate students looking to trivialize my contribution/remains for the sake of lightening the mood, or whatever other scenario. | if you're a student who has worked with human remains, do you feel that the remains are treated with dignity and respect, or do students make light of them? |
t3_2atmtv | tifu | TIFU by sitting on the hood of my friend's car. | Flashback to my senior year of high school. I live in a townhouse association, and there are only a few buildings on my street. That my street isn't very long. My friend had come to drop me off and her car was towards the middle of the street. We were fucking around, because we were idiots, and I was sitting on the hood of her car as she was getting ready to leave. As a joke, she started slowly rolling the car forward. In my infinite wisdom, I told her to keep going. In her infinite wisdom, she decided that she would indeed keep going, but at a much faster speed than I had anticipated.
I was sitting towards the edge of the passenger side of the hood. We both quickly realized that this was all a huge mistake, because she was heading towards the end of the street, where she either had to turn left or right. I think we both came to the conclusion that I was going to be thrown off the roof regardless of the decision, because with how fast she was going she either had to hit the brakes pretty hard or turn to keep from running into the fence at the end of the road.
She turned, and I rolled off and fell onto my side in the road, with her tires narrowly missing running over my ankle. I was stunned for a few seconds, and then started to wonder if she was going to come back and see how seriously injured I was. I was in pain, but I didn't think anything was broken.
She pulled back around the corner and, after getting out to make sure I wasn't dead or anything, we both started laughing. I actually don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life. I hadn't broken anything, but I had a pretty awesome gnarly bruise on my hip/leg/most of the right side of my body for a while. | My friend and I were jackasses in high school and I'm lucky to have not broken anything when I got thrown off her car. |
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