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t3_2ce9eb | AskReddit | [Serious] How do Japanese Universities view American degrees? | I'm a bit of a planner, and I like to plan things way ahead of time. I'm currently studying for a degree in Biomedical Engineering Technology, and I want to get a Master's when I'm done. After doing a bit of research, I've decided that Japan would be one of the best places for me to sharpen my education.
That said, I have never traveled outside of the United States in my entire life (outside of Military Deployments, so not exactly a great experience).
I'm currently taking it upon myself to learn Japanese on the side. I think it's a great idea to learn the language, as Japan seems to be the birthplace of some of the world's greatest technology, as well as Germany.
So, | Title question, and anyone have any insight into studying abroad as an American to Japan? I have no idea what I'm doing. halp. |
t3_2jri06 | relationships | I (23/M) fell for a 22/F but I'm abstinent and she's in a different continent. | I'm writing this honestly thinking I'm the biggest idiot on this planet. If a friend came to me with a problem like this I probably would've wanted to slap 'em.
Me. I'm 23, American and abstinent. So I never try to get into relationships or develop feelings or even show that I'm interested. It's worked well for me. I however love meeting new people and I've never had trouble with falling for someone which has given me this false sense of immunity. Last time I did, I was in high school.
I met this European girl like any other. She was nice and and asked for my number before I left. We started texting and continued when she went back to Europe. As we grew closer I brought up my abstinence and she said she liked me as a person and such a long distance relationship wouldn't really be possible anyway.
So usually at this point, conversations start to die out but we kept talking everyday with her usually messaging first. It was all fun until it hit me that i had developed feelings for her. I freaked out, told her that and said we should stop talking. She said she didn't like the idea but agreed if it was what I wanted. But we only stopped for a week.
I have no idea where this is going. I've told her how I feel about her but I seem to be just in the friend zone because she said she likes taller guys (which really hurt knowing I'm not good enough). But what if I wasn't in the friend zone? What difference would that make? This whole thing makes me feel like shit and I want to get rid of these feelings but can't since we talk a lot. We also fight like married couples but always start talking again. She's promiscuous which also makes me feel like crap.
She thinks we can be great friends since we enjoy talking to each other so much. But I can't if I feel this way about her. I need to get away from this and move on with my life. | I was super confident of not falling for someone but a girl got the better of me and now I'm confused. |
t3_me4c1 | AskReddit | If your child was born with 4 fully functional arms, would you have them amputated? | This is something I've given a lot of thought to. In most of the world, it is generally accepted to automatically amputate extra appendages. I can see the benefits to this, in the sense that the child might be ostracized or harassed because of his deformity, and it might cause physical disabilities later on.
However. This is the question I pose to you, Reddit. If your child was born with 4 fully functional, non-debilitating arms, would you have them amputated or not?
Personally, there is no way in Hell I would let them take away the opportunity for my child to be a superhero. The first thing I would do would be to put him on a strict physical training regimen.
1. Exercise and weightlifting. This child would be in perfect physical condition by his late teens.
2. Martial arts training. Judo, jiu jitzu, kickboxing, tae kwon do, krav maga, Hell even boxing and street brawling. Imagine this, my son or daughter walking down a dark alley, they get attacked suddenly by a mugger. He pulls a knife, but is easily disarmed by my spawn. With the top two arms, they grab the mugger's wrists while delivering crushing body shots to the criminal with the bottom set.
3. If, as I will let my child choose the manner to which he makes the world a safer place, he decides on law enforcement, then he will be trained extensively on firearms with all hands equally. He will be able to hold four handguns at once, or two handguns and a shotgun/assault rifle, or my personal favorite: four Uzis.
I can only think of extremely positive possibilities for this child, as I believe it would be a beautiful addition to the human genome, and hopefully the next step in human evolution.
By the way, it's totally possible: | if your child was born with 4 working arms, would you turn him into a superhero or amputate them like a horrible parent? |
t3_3rz6ol | relationships | I [20/F] feel like I never can control my emotions correctly when it comes to the dating scene, tips? | Backstory why I'm writing this: My friend (the guy I like) told me he was going to a dance tonight (his text acted like it was something that he wasn't planning on going to) and I've been sitting here having to go to the bathroom (read below why) and just saw he was tagged in photos on Facebook about it but I quickly closed Facebook because my heart was racing and felt like I was going to puke. Okay please continue reading.
I've noticed throughout my whole life, I can't handle rejection or crushes correctly. Relationships, I feel that I'm rational, calm, and happy whenever I'm in them. I physically and emotionally can't handle dumb things while I have a crush or get rejected. Example, I can't look at a crush's photo without getting embarrassed, I get upset at the thought of going through a crush's profile thinking I will find something that will upset me, and I get EXTREMELY jealous when I hear that they're talking to someone else of the same sex even when it's on friendly terms. I don't take my jealousy out of them, I know that's 100000% wrong, I bottle it up though. It's weird though because whenever I'm in a relationship and they tell me they talked to another girl, I'm fine and not jealous!
Physically, and I hate to be gross, I get horrible stomach aches whenever I feel like something is wrong or I'm about to hear something like, "well I like so and so." I have a condition called IBS. If I'm mad, upset, sad, or embarrassed about something, I have to run to the bathroom which results into diarrhea.
I feel like a little kid confronting her crush on the playground when it comes to these things, I don't feel like I handle things maturely and I have weird things about me as stated above. I just want to know if there's anything I can do to help myself or tips on handling things such as rejection or hell, even fixing this weird thing where I can look at a fucking picture of someone I like? | I can't handle the dating scene without physically or emotionally fucking myself up, I want to try and fix that. Help? |
t3_13mfj1 | self | I think I may have been screwed out of holiday pay, not sure if there's anything I can do... | Hey Reddit,
I'm currently contracted to a company that is contracted by another company for work (contract-ception I suppose). My probation period was supposed to end this past Tuesday, but instead I was called in and reprimanded for things I had not been doing. Supposedly, multiple co-workers had been complaining of things that I had not been involved with, mainly constantly being late and randomly leaving for lunch.
Now, I only work with 2 co-workers, and interact with 3 others. the way our shifts work, it's just two of us in the office, and since I work three days (12/13/14 hour shifts), I only have 2 co-workers I actually work with. I dicussed with them the situation to see if they had actually had complaints about my work, because I wanted to fix it if they did. It turns out they did not, nor have they ever complained about me about anything, and I can trust their word. Out of the other 3, two of them are good friends of mine, and the third complained about tardiness I had early on in my hiring.
The result of all this was that I had my probation extended by 45 days... Which oddly enough is after all of the holidays have passed, which I would have made time and a half on. Instead, I'm working today (Thanksgiving) for 14 hours without extra pay, and I'll be working 12 hours on Christmas day, also at normal pay. My contracting agency does not do holiday pay for contractors.
Some of this may sound confusing and I may not be communicating it very well, so any questions about it I'll be happy to answer if it helps... | The person who controls my contract lied and made up reasons to not hire me on before the holidays in order to avoid having to pay me time and a half. Is there anything I can do or should I just deal with it? |
t3_3tfre0 | relationships | Best Friend [30 F] with aguy [30 M] 8 months, After searching about him I found out the guy has a past | I am in a dilemma, my best friend has been seeing this guy she met online for about 8 months now. She seems to be getting serious with this guy. After our last conversation, she told me she wanted to introduce him to her family over the holidays I finally decided to look up this guy on Facebook. But when I searched for his name I came across few articles on him which said 3 years ago he was driving drunk and killed his fiancee. I think my friend needs to know this but I am not sure how to bring this up with her since she's so in love and cares so much about this guy. I don't want to be the bad one to break this news to her at the same time I want her to know about it. Can someone help me on how I should strike a conversation relating to this topic without hurting her. | Best Friend's boy friend has a criminal past- DUI and in an accident killed his fiancee. Need to find a way to break this news to my friend. |
t3_4mblm9 | relationships | Im a m/18 and I'm in a tough situation with 2 girls f/18 | Ok so I've been dating this girl. And her name is Stacy. Me and Stacy have been dating for a year and 3 months. Stacy is a virgin. So she doesn't satisfy me sexually. She also has a really bad temper and that temper causes me a lot of deep stress. But the thing is is that I've know every deep dark secret about her. We recently broke up. And I'm dating this other girl name chima. Chima has made me happy and she satisfies me sexually. Tell me what should I do because she's begging for me back. I'm In a really tough situation | I'm in a tough situation with 2 girls |
t3_27t9zc | relationships | I [F, 24] find my boyfriend [M, 25] of one year less facially attractive than before | I used to think he had a nice face, and I still do, just not as much now. I still think he has really nice eyes and a nice smile, but overall face, it's fine, but I used to think he was more handsome than I do now. He hasn't shifted in weight or anything that would modify his facial delineations. So I don't think it's that. Has this happened to anyone? Is this some emotional thing? I know we're not feeling as close, etc. but even before that, there was this shift in my perception. I used to think he was better-looking than me, not I wonder if we're comparable.
Physically, like shoulders/arms/back/legs, he's the same. Personality is the same. I still love his scent, etc. | I find my bf less facially attractive than before. |
t3_4zfngi | relationships | Me [22 M] Interested in dating [19F] but she does drugs. Deal breaker? | Hi there, I met a girl at work recently, and she is actually almost exactly what I would want to look for in a girl: she's cute, she's funny, and she's smart. We get along really well, and she is interested in me as well. We have been texting and initially she told me that she might smoke marijuana recreationally one a week or less, which isn't too big a deal.
Now I am not the type to be completely against drugs, without going into a lot of detail, my brother smokes pot etc.The big problem I have is that as we have been texting, she will throw in things like oh I am doing acid on Monday, etc. She has brought up smoking weed a lot more often than once a week as well. I am not interested in drugs at all, and I need help deciding if this is a deal breaker?
Thanks in advance | I like a girl and she likes me, but she does drugs, and I don't at all. |
t3_gsntn | AskReddit | Are there any Australia Post workers here? Please help me. :( [X-Post from r/Australia] | Hi Reddit,
I've been pulling my hair out about this for the last 5 months. Early December I received a package that was damaged, having bought insurance I went ahead and filed a damage report on the 10th of December.
This report can be seen [here](
Now, fast forward 5 months, Aust Post sends me a letter, rejecting my claim saying I had not made a lodgement, I called them up and the rep simply told me they would look into it.
Is there nothing I can do? I'm really desperate right now, and I don't know where to turn to.
For the record the package was a part for my car, hence my desperation to get compensation, it really wasn't a cheap/easy to get part.
Thanks heaps! | Aust Post claims I hadn't filed for insurance.. But I have. Rejects claim after 5 months. |
t3_3twh00 | askwomenadvice | Is It Normal to Feel Incredibly Anxious and Somewhat Depressed after Having Sex? | (19 y/o, female)
First off, I need to start with the fact that I have never had the best luck in the dating scene. Nearly every date I have been on has been either a joke, a dare, or a bet; needless to say, I was the target of a lot of bullying in high school. Despite all these fake suitors, I was never coerced into doing anything sexual with them.
Last year during my first semester of college I suffered acquaintance rape where I was drugged and then manipulated into thinking it was my idea to have sex and give my virginity up to my so called "friend". It took me a while to realize what had actually happened but by the time I did and built up the confidence to actually talk about it with someone, I lost a close family member tragically and suddenly; it never seemed like the right time to bring it up after that.
Now, I've started to see someone who seems to genuinely like and care for me as much as I do for them. We've known each other for a while and started actually dating for the past two months. Sex has been a topic of conversation between us many times and I have told them (somewhat) about what happened and how if/when I had sex, I wanted to be sober and in control of the situation.
Last night was the first time we had sex and while it wasn't perfect, it was a good experience for me since I felt in control and initiated the sex. However, today, after we said our goodbyes and they went home, I just feel... empty and anxious about the whole experience. I'm nauseous, worried about how our relationship is going to progress, if he really cares about me--honestly I don't know how to describe how I feel at the moment, I just know that I feel extremely off. I'm worried that I've somehow messed our relationship up and that they're going to leave me now that we've had sex or something bad's going to happen now... I really just don't know what to do or how to feel at the moment. | Is it normal to feel like this after your first time, or am I just overreacting and letting anxiety take over my thoughts because of my rape? Can someone give me any advice on how to proceed/cope with this anxiety so I don't scare my partner off? |
t3_39pyer | tifu | TIFU by answering the door. | This happened last night. My mom, my two sisters. My sister's fiancee was visiting, so I guess he counts too. My dad was out of the house because he teaches a class at night every Friday.
It was 12:00 A.M. I was playing Counter Strike: Global Offensive on my laptop. Everyone else was watching "Pulp Fiction." on the T.V. My sister turned off all the lights, so they can view the T.V without glare from the lights.
At exactly 12:30 A.M. my dad came knocking on the door. Mom was going to answer the door, but I didn't want my dad to think I was playing ever since he left, which I did. I set the laptop gently on the sofa's arm, and sprang up to go answer the door.
The lights were off, and there were wires **EVERYWHERE.** I couldn't identify which belonged to my laptop in time, and so my laptop smacked the floor on it's right side. I ran back to go see any damage was visible. Everything seemed fine, until 10 seconds later, I noticed 5, vertical cracks on the right hand side.
I was pretty upset, and still am while typing this, but for the good news, I'm building a gaming P.C. this July. And this laptop will go to dad. | Playing on laptop, tried to do a random act of kindness, laptop fell, screen cracked. |
t3_2itq81 | tifu | TIFU by trying to get through a door before it could close. | Preface: When I see closing doors, I sometimes view it as a challenge to get through that door without touching anything.
This happened on tuesday. I had already walked into my class, but it was early so I dropped my backpack off and went to use the bathroom. Right when I was approaching the class again, I realize that the door was closing and within half a second I realized I should be able to get through if I just dash for the door.
I got through the door; then I crashed straight into a girl who was walking straight to the door (I could only see that there was no one from the angle I was coming from). Just before we collided she put her hands up and when she fell it was almost like she drew a charge foul in basketball. I stuck my hand out, apologized and explained why that just happened. She stared at me for a few seconds, smirked and said "Well congrats, Speedy Gonzales". She was walking toward the door seeming like she was leaving, but after the incident she just went back to her seat. When class was over she held the door all the way open for me to "make sure you don't run into someone on the way out". | I tried running through a door before it could close. I made it and then ran straight into a girl. |
t3_2tm62c | relationships | My [22M] bf is insecure about my [21f] successes and it is destroying our relationship. What do? | I have known my boyfriend since sophomore year in highschool. He only confessed that he liked me in senior year and we have been going out ever since (for about ~4 years now).
Back in highschool he planned to take a year off since he was apparently bored of education.
Now, fast forward to 2015, I am about to graduate with a degree in computer science and have an internship in a software verification startup lined up. My boyfriend, on the other hand, never went to college and only had one job since graduating highschool (which he was fired from for being 'inconsiderate to customers', he claimed). I am not too bothered with this since I accept that he hasn't really had a chance to grow up since his parents still support him.
But, it has come to the point that I am feeling like there is a wall between us and he is angry/bitter and indirectly taking this out on me. He criticises me for random things (like being late to a date, answering my phone when we are together, talking about concepts in computer science etc.), has become more distant and just generally doesn't seem that interested.
I still want to be with him and I want him to know that him not achieving much doesn't really matter to me but at the same time I dont want to hurt his ego. How should I go about this reddit? | boyfriend bitter over me graduating and him not even going to college. how to proceed? |
t3_r2sfo | AskReddit | Hey Reddit. What are some encounters you've had with law enforcement? | This is in response to a few stories I read in [this thread] which I found very interesting. Here's mine.
A about a week ago, my apartment was busted into. I live in Chicago, Pilsen (which is a southside, Mexican dominated area for those of you who don't live here). I must've only locked my door half way (lock is kinda junky), and with it like that it's possible to force it open. Anyways, while I was asleep at around 4 am, a lady came in, lifted my laptop, iPod, my cigarettes and a jar of change. I woke up to the cops banging on my door. They asked me if I noticed anything was missing- I listed off what i noticed, and they checked it against what they had, and lo and behold, we're off to the station. Long story short there, I sit around for a bit, ID my shit, talk to a detective and then head off to class. Turns out the lady was a regular at the station, and an officer recognized her at McDonalds at around 5. He walked up to check on her or whatever, and noticed she had a MacBook. When she couldn't explain where she got it, they asked if it was stolen, and she admitted to it. They took her in, she showed the cops my apartment, the rest is history.
A week later, I had to go to court (I still don't really understand why, maybe someone can help). So I bike out to Kedzie and Harrison (about a 20 minute ride). As soon as I walk in, the security guard assumes I'm a perp, pats me down, takes my knife (I know I shouldn't have brought it to court, I just always have it on me. Derp.) and sits me down and tells me to wait for my case. I go in for a total of like a minute, until I'm told to go home. Blah. | someone broke into my apartment. Cops return my shit within 3 hours. I waste my time and lose my knife at court a week later. |
t3_w0u6v | AskReddit | What's something you learned the hard way? | For me, it's when writing an essay, never give an opinion that conflicts with the marker's. First semester of university, I was young and naive, I knew my teacher was a hardcore Socialist (For any Aussies, he's a regular writer of GLW). Regardless, when writing about the impacts of September 11 on US foreign policy, I decided to give my genuine beliefs, which came off very conservative (I argued that the US was justified in its invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan purely based on the emergence of a new kind of non-st - Note that the question asked us to respond to Barnett's "The pentagon's new map", which itself demonstrated the justifiability of Iraq).
I figured that the teacher would mark it based on the ideas expressed and the evidence used. Nope, he criticised the fuck out of it based on how my ideas conflicted with other claims, which to an extent is appropriate, but was far too politically charged in this scenario. I emailed the tutor, he said he would re-evaluate the paper and have it back to me in a few days. Never heard from him again. Lesson Learned.
Anyone else learn the hard way? | Wrote a paper that conflicted with the ideas of the marker. GPA in the class dropped from a distinction average to barely passing. |
t3_14ykm5 | relationships | 19(M) In a 1 year relationship with my girlfriend 19(f) Can't seem to deal with her past, she has slept with a lot more partners than me and has also had a threesome with another 2 guys. | I've been with my girlfriend for a year now and was close friends with her for about half a year before we started seeing each other. I'd say she's my best friend and my partner, the relationship is great we get on really well and rarely argue but i just can't seem to cope with her past.
I consider myself the jealous type, girls that have slept around or are a bit 'slutty' really don't do it for me, but i didn't know how bad her past was until about 4months into our relationship. I first of all found out her number (24) and for her age i think that's really high. That i was a bit weirded out by, but could live with.
It was until i found out she had a threesome with 2 guys that the problems started developing. I constantly recreate it in my head and it really makes me angry, i will constantly throw strops and just ignore her when i start to think about it.
I've thought about breaking up with her over it but it shouldn't be that big of deal surely? I can honestly say i love her but just this one thing is driving me mad and i think if i knew about it before we got in a relationship, i wouldn't be with her now.
I've been lurking threads and advice on the net for anyone with a similar situation as me but i just really need some reassurance and advice on this. | I'm consider breaking up with a girl i love because of her past, before i even knew her she slept with many guys and i can't seem to deal with it |
t3_2fkep6 | relationship_advice | [23/F] My boyfriend [22/M] has crippling anxiety in the bedroom. | My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and we've lived together for three. This is an issue we've been grappling with for some time.
My boyfriend is a very nervous, anxious person. This prevents him from fully engaging in sexual activities. He gets lost in is head. He also worries about being able to satisfy me, as my sexual interests are more on the kinky side. We have discussed my kinks (and briefly his, but it's like pulling teeth) and how to incorporate them into our sex life. He knows what I like and (theoretically) how to do it. Yet during the heat of the moment, when I request some reciprocation, he becomes anxious and panicky and we cannot continue. I'm upset because he can set aside is worries long enough for himself to get off, but not when it's my turn.
I've suggested he see a therapist, or read one of the many sexual health books I have, or try some meditation techniques. But he seems to have no interest in dealing with this issue. I am loosing my patience after having my needs neglected for years. | My boyfriend is so crippled by anxiety that he cannot bring himself to get me off, yet he can put aside his worries long enough to be on the receiving end. |
t3_4c24fp | relationships | My (F23) BF (M24) has serious problems with my ex. | So me & my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months, & things are really great between us, but I have an ex who calls & emails me daily against my wishes.
I broke up with the ex over 2 years ago & although I have told him countless times to stop contacting me (including blocking his number & on Facebook & email address) he continues to call me multiple times a day.
Annoying as it may be I don't really care or take notice anymore. However my boyfriend finds it insufferable. He, along with all of my family, want me to take legal action against him & try & get him locked up, but I feel like this is too far. Yes it is annoying how much he harasses me, but this is a guy I used to care about. I don't want to destroy his life. I just want him to let me live mine.
My boyfriend doesn't see it like this & it has caused big fights between us because he thinks I am being too soft on him. He wants to take matters into his own hands but I am kinda worried to let him. It has gotten to the stage that every time he calls my boyfriend tries to grab my phone in order to scream abuse at him. I'm finding that I have to lie about who is calling me or hide my phone so he can't see...
I'm worried this is causing some serious damage in my new relationship, but I just don't know how to make this guy leave me alone. | Ex boyfriend calls me on a daily basis, new boyfriend is annoyed that I am not taking legal action. |
t3_1qeg23 | tifu | TIFU by not buying condoms | So I was at my girlfriends house earlier today and we decided we wanted to go all the way. Now this would be my first time doing this so I was pretty excited however I'm not an idiot so I left to go buy condoms(also my first time).
I go to the nearest gas station walk around and then realize I'd have to ask the cashier for them. I chicken out and end up buying a snickers bar(it was good). I then go to a Walgreens down the street. I find them but I start to look around nervously. I swear there was 50+ middle aged women in that store just waiting to judge me. So I wimp out again and go across the street to a Frys(grocery store). They have self checkout so it was perfect! Unitl I found that the condoms were locked up by the 70 year old pharmacist.
Once I again I leave a store sad and embarrassed that I can't even man up and buy the condoms. I get back to her house and relay to her what happened. Luckily she understood because she is a great girl. Sadly I fucked up and ended up not fucking. | Take two on Thursday |
t3_1x4d4r | relationships | I (21m) have been exclusive with a girl (19f) for several months, yet she doesn't want a relationship. | So we met back in September. Things got physical pretty quick and after awhile she told me she wasn't going to see anyone else before I even questioned her about it. So we've been spending time together since then and everything has been cool. However, she doesn't want to be in a relationship; she isn't technically my "girlfriend". She would rather have a guy to "chill, talk and just hang out with".
Now I believe that she doesn't wanna hook up with other guys and I don't think she has. And it's not the end of the world if I can't call her my girlfriend, we don't have to label anything. But I can't help but think this is just an easy way out for her. She's definitely the type to avoid conflict. And I feel she wants it like this so if she wants to see someone else she can easily say we aren't dating and blame me if I get mad. Not that I would. She's a freshman in college and I'm amazed we've made it this far honestly. I wouldn't blame her for wanting to meet more new people and have new experiences, etc. But I don't like the idea of investing a lot of time into someone that might one day decide they're tired of me and bounce. | girl likes to be with me but doesn't want to be in relationship officially yet, I feel like it's because she wants to be able to move on without conflict |
t3_2pzr4m | relationships | My 2nd cousin [2 M] made a comment that my girlfriend [20 F] was upset with. How to handle it? | So my girlfriend has met my 2nd cousin twice when my cousin and her husband visited. The 2nd time he still remembered her and talked to us.
But he can't talk well yet and uses gestures a lot. He showed us his Cars 2 book that had the main Red car character and the blue tow truck character on it. He poi ted to the main Red car and said "Stordude! " and pointed to the truck and said "Stordudes girlfriend! " (but obviously our actual names as well as he can say them).
Now my girlfriend says he meant that she is "the fat blue friend" because she's 5'11. I'm 5'8. She's not large but she is bigger than me just because of her height and frame. I don't think he really meant it that way though. He's 2.
But she's upset. What can I do? | My girlfriend took something my 2nd cousin said personally. How do I get her over it? |
t3_1a6gjg | relationships | I [27] found out my [32] year old boyfriend kissed someone else. | We have been together for 2 years, and he felt like somebody who was not only my best friend, but also someone I could see myself spending my life with. We had shared a completely happy and healthy relationship up until now.
My boyfriend had a couple drinks, and another woman came up to him and kissed him. He kissed her back for about 2 minutes then he ended the kiss, and left her at the bar. However, he became too nervous to tell me... I saw him texting her, and I asked who she was. He stalled, then said just some girl who was pursuing him. I have never looked through his phone before, and have never thought I'd have to, but I could tell he was lying to me. This is the first time he's ever cheated, and the first time he's ever lied to me. When I went through his phone I saw she sent him flirty messages, knowing he was in a relationship, he didn't flirt back but he also didn't deter her from flirting.
When I confronted him, he was completely remorseful, and said he was planning on telling me about the situation. However, I feel our relationship has been seriously tainted by this because I can no longer fully trust him. I could easily forgive the kiss if he was honest with me, but not stopping her from pursuing him and then lying is the problem.
I need to know if trust is ever fully restored to a relationship after someone tells a lie like this? | Im a woman whose boyfriend kissed someone else, lied about it, then gave a full confession and apology. Will I be able to trust him again? |
t3_477k70 | relationships | I [19M] am not happy in my relationship with my [19F] even though she's perfect for me. | My 19 year old girlfriend and I (19 male) have been together for over a year. A few weeks ago I realized something (this is going to sound dumb but hear me out) there isn't anything wrong with our relationship. I'm not saying were perfect but they're really aren't any major flaws. We get along very well, our personalities are almost identical, she's my best friend. We've been in a long distance relationship for the past 6 months and that hasn't caused any issues. We both love each other and support each other with everything and as wonderful as that sounds I can't help but feel unhappy.
I haven't been unhappy for the whole relationship, just recently. I know deep down that we're more compatible than anyone I've ever met and I wouldn't be happier with someone else, but I keep finding myself feeling stuck and wondering what it would be like to be with someone else.
I don't want to end it with her because I love her. But at the same time I feel like I wouldn't be upset if she broke up with me. | My girlfriend and I don't fight, get along great, but even though I know I should be happy, I don't feel as motivated anymore. |
t3_49bbr6 | relationships | My girlfriend attacked my mom. Now I have to choose | Me and my girlfriend have been dateing for 1 year and 4 months. After some stuff I'm gonna skip due to personal reasons (let's say some family member got too hands on) she moved in with me and my mom and stepfather. Things went well at first but my mom started being a real asshole. As she has done with me my entire life. Well eventually My girlfriend who we will call momgame, couldn't take it anymore and lost her shit. My mom slapped momgame. Momgame then took a Shoe and began beating my mother upside the head with it, than tried putting her through my window. Which is apperiently alot harder than you would expect. My mom then told her that she would never be able to see me again, she then tried to slit her wrists in the tub. The police showed up before she did. This is a vast oversimplification but the main idea is here. I can either abandon my momgame or my mom. What do you guys think | Girlfriend and mom didn't get along, now I'm split between the two |
t3_229xc5 | relationships | Me [24M] with my ex[26 F] wanting to grab lunch and the disagreement thereafter. | My ex and I broke up several months ago rather amicably, we agreed that the way we fought and handled disagreements was not healthy and that the best case scenario was to part ways as friends.
This worked out fine, every now and then we'd text each other and catch up.
Earlier this week she texted me about getting lunch today (Saturday), and I agreed. I figured what was the harm in grabbing a bite in a restaurant, seeing each other quick and moving on with my day.
This morning, however, she asked me about coming over to my apartment before to hang out and see my dog. I politely told her no thanks and I thought it would be better to just meet and grab lunch. After hearing this she immediately canceled the lunch and asked if I was seeing anyone now.
I told her calmly that it has nothing to do with seeing anyone, but I just don't want to have a weird situation come up and for feelings to reattach themselves. I believed it would be better if we just met at the restaurant with our own cars and had lunch.
I do not want to get back with her, at all.
She then starts attacking me about how I wouldn't just meet my friends at a restaurant, which I would, and how it would be weird to have to meet me somewhere. After that she reprimanded me on how I barely initiate our texting conversations and it's obvious how little I care for her.
So far I have chosen not to respond to the text. I can feel this leading into a fight, and I have no desire to get in a fight with her, especially because we aren't even dating. It seems exhausting and pointless.
My question is, I guess, is am I in the right by not responding to the last message? My main goal is to avoid a fight and I think since we have been broken up for several months I have no obligation to respond. I just do not want to be a jerk, because I do like her as a person.
Thoughts on how to handle this? | Ex wants to hang out before getting lunch, I just want to meet at the restaurant. She got mad about this, cancelled plans and is trying to engage me in an argument. Am I right for ignoring her messages? |
t3_3g7nn2 | tifu | TIFU by having the worst day ever. | So my day started out normal but went down the shitter, severely. (No, there is no actual shit in the story.)
So let's start the day. In the morning I wake up and shower, the only problem is that we're out of liquid body wash so I have to use the bar soap. This isn't that bad, it's only soap. Then, I go to eat, and I look in the fridge and find some Mac and cheese, except this Mac and cheese is different, it smells garlic-y. That's okay, garlic is good. Well, turns out this Mac and cheese tasted not like garlic, but like syrupy nasty sweet Mac and cheese. This isn't a big deal, it's just food, I can eat something else.
So now let's go to the next part of the day. I decide I'll help my mom out and get a laminator for her school. So I go there, pick up the laminator and am heading back. As I'm heading back I get in a car accident. Nothing big, a little fender bender. Their car wasn't damaged so I asked if they could not file a report and they said sure. That's no big deal.. I can buff out the dent later. So I go and drop off the laminator, and I'm off the hook now.
Next, I go and eat dinner, I go to my favorite Mexican restaurant, and order something new. This is a bad idea for the worst day ever. You want to know why? Because I get sick from the fucking food. So now I'm hurling and wanting to die.
You may think it's over, but, oh, I have one more thing. Earlier today (after the food, before the hurling) I find out that my grandfathers 100th birthday party is the same day as my retreat for school. So now I have to miss part of the retreat for my grandfathers birthday (which I wouldn't mind doing. He's turning 100 for Gods sake, I'm not heartless) and possibly get kicked off my retreat and replaced. | Worst day ever starts with soap, has a little accident in the middle, and ends with me missing a birthday and hurling. |
t3_n730p | AskReddit | How would I go about confronting a fellow employee who lied to me in order to get money while still being professional about it? | Hi reddit, I work with a guy at a games store, and a few days ago he came to me and asked me to loan him some money. This guy, who I will call B, is the father of a 6 month old girl, so I figured he was in a bind and needed a couple of bucks to untangle himself. I told him I don't loan people money but I could help him out depending on what he needed the money for. He stated that it was for "financial reasons" and that he needed $200 to see him through it. I gave him $100, but I also explicitly asked him if it was for video games, he told me flat out NO.
Today I looked at the employee purchase log and saw that he had come in, bought game and then gone out for drinks with his friends. I don't care for the cash, I didn't expect it back in the first place, but I am very angry that he lied to me and that he used me. I've gone out of my way to help this guy before by giving him a ride home from work, if we were off at the same time, or buying him dinner here and there. How would I handle this situation in a professional manner? I basically want to tell B that we are done. If he wants to talk about work related issues, that is still fine, but I don't want to hear about anything else. | Guy asked to borrow money from me for "financial reasons", ends up blowing it on video games and drinks. |
t3_268wd4 | relationships | I'm [21F] crushing on best friend [28M], he might feel the same way, not sure if I should talk to him about it | I've been hanging out with a close friend of mine--who I've known for about three years now--for the past four months almost every day. His ex-girlfriend broke up with him two months ago, and I tried to be there for when he needed it, which he was thankful for. A few weeks ago, I became unsure about his feelings for me, and also my feelings for him. I like him, but I would also be happy if we never ended up together and remained great friends. I have considered that he could be in rebound mode with his girlfriend having broken up with him.
He has been heavily flirting with me and has made strange comments ("I wish I had a crush to hang out with all the time…" followed by a strange silence when we were alone, asking me if I'm hitting on him, his parents on speakerphone jokingly asking when they were going to meet his new girlfriend, etc; his dad suggesting he move to where I would be living in front of me,). He flirts with a lot of girls, though, and is very difficult to read. He does really nice things for me, but he is also an all around nice guy, and I'm not sure if the things he does with me are the things he would do with anyone.
We just graduated from college, where we were both hanging out and spending time together, and we basically had two weeks left when I arrived at this dilemma. Now that we're apart, we still text and talk every day. He has mentioned that he could easily do long distance relationships, as could I, so that's not so much of a big deal if the outcome was that we both liked each other. I'm not sure whether I should ask him about his feelings or tell him my own at this risk of our friendship. He mentioned a long time ago his good friend told him that she had had a crush on him, and he had thought it was awkward to know that. So is it worth it? | Crushing on best friend of three years, he may or may not be crushing on me, and we're very far apart. Is it worth talking to him about it? |
t3_ri29f | AskReddit | Reddit, I have almost no drive to do school work/go out/etc. How can I get myself motivated or push myself to work harder? | I'm a college freshmen, and I guess because I "breezed" through high school, always doing well, but never doing any work, I became overly cocky with my skills. Now I'm in college, and I'm struggling with several classes, because I can't find that motivation or drive to study harder, or learn to study better.
I've been through [/r/getmotivated](/r/getmotivated) a couple times, and while it gets me motivated, it only lasts about 10-20minutes. Never more.
Aside from that, I lose motivation of going out and doing things. While I want to, I just can't get myself to go do anything aside from sit around. Occasionally I'll go on walks with my iPod and just listen to music and explore campus/the surrounding city, but besides that, I'm slowly becoming sluggish.
Some more background on me; I'm a former athlete (high school), but can't afford to play in college, and my school doesn't have an intramural lacrosse team (Sadly) so I can't continue that. I work out 3 times a week (some of the only times I do something, and its because one of my friends often makes me join him). I can read completely fine. I just recently read The Hunger Games Books 1&2 in two weeks, taking breaks inbetween.
Essentially, I'm afraid I'm slowly ruining my future because of my lack of motivation. I WANT to do well, but I can't find a way to convince myself it'll be effective. I've tried various ways of motivating myself, with slim to no luck.
Reddit, how do you think I can motivate myself better/how have you motivated yourselves? I know reddit is one of the worst places to look, but googling hasn't helped, and none of my friends are really the types-of-people to be helpful here. | I have no drive/motivation to work harder in school, and it's slowly leading me to believe I've ruined my future. I need to find a way to motivate myself. |
t3_kqreh | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I live an independent life with agoraphobia? | I'm a 26 year old female with agoraphobia, social anxiety, and panic attacks. I've been married since I was 21, and have not worked for about 2 years now. My husband makes enough money for us to be comfortable and does not resent me for not contributing financially because I take excellent care of him and our home. He likes having me as a housewife.
Tonight I am working myself into a special kind of panic. I am terrified of what would happen to me if we ever split up or something happens to him. I have absolutely nothing, and no outside support system.
We have one car in his name, actually everything is in his name. I have zero credit, my driver's license is expired because I never went to renew it last year (I never drive anymore), no college, and I've never had more than an entry level office job.
I want to learn how I can not be completely dependent on my husband but I have no idea where to even begin. I want so badly to feel like I can take care of myself, my upbringing was pretty fucked up and I never really learned the basics of how to survive in life.
At this moment I am crippled with fear. What now? | agoraphobic wants independence. how? |
t3_2t1v1d | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [20 F] of 4 months, I'm unhappy but not sure if it's because of her | We've been dating for 4 months now and I've been happy with our relationship for the most part until a few weeks ago. The problem is I don't know why I'm unhappy with it.
We still do a lot of the same things we did when we first started dating but lately I just haven't been as happy doing those things.
This is only my second relationship ever so I'm not sure if the first few months were that "honeymoon" stage people always refer to or if I'm not happy for some other reason.
I think I want to break up with her but I know she's really into me and I would have no real reason to break up with her other than the fact that I'm not happy.
This is her first relationship and I'm afraid that the way I handle this could really mess her up emotionally.
Should I break up with her? Should we take a break?
Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated. | Unhappy with relationship but it's not her fault so I'm not sure how to handle it. |
t3_x56rt | AskReddit | My parents told me that I killed the tooth fairy. What messed up methods did your family use to put an end to your belief in Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Etc.? | I didn't lose my first tooth until I was seven. This means that I'd barely started the whole tooth fairy thing when I was already getting a little old for it. Well that night mom helped me tuck my tooth under my pillow for the first and last time.
I grew up in an old house and we didn't get central air until I was in my teens. As a result we slept with the windows open during the summer. Around sunrise mom crept into my room with a shiny new dollar coin. She noticed that a big moth had run into my window screen. It left a perfect dust print... An outline of some fragile winged thing... And inspiration struck.
"Oh my god! AvianMinded! What have you done?!" I woke up to mom's convincingly distressed shrieks.
"Huh?" I sat up bleary eyed and confused.
"You didn't lift up your window screen!"
"No, mommy. Then the mosquitoes would get me."
"Avi, you're supposed to lift up your window screen so the tooth fairy can come in. She's got millions of teeth to collect. She doesn't have time to watch where she's flying."
I looked at the window and saw the print. Instant bitter tears of sorrow and regret. Mom felt bad when she saw how upset I was and tried to explain how it's all just a fun story that parents tell their kids. But Fern Gully had come out a couple years prior and I *knew* she was just lying to cheer me up. I refused to believe her for a few weeks and then cried again when I realized that Fern Gully wasn't real, after all. | I was a gullible child. |
t3_13fv90 | GetMotivated | I screwed up my first semester of college. I had no motivation, my main source of motivation is making this world a better place for everybody. r/getmotivated, What are your stories? How you messed up, then turned yourself around? Also what was your motivation of doing so? | It is my first semester of college, I am currently on track to failing 3 of my 4 classes. I messed up, I'm at the point of no return with those 3 classes. A man said "It is more important to improve the world you are on right now, then working on getting into heaven." I took that into great consideration, I wanted to make this world a better place, instead of worrying about myself going onto some heaven. Kind of weird way to get motivated, but I want to change this world in some kind of way before my time is up. That is my goal. That is my motivation. I failed my first semester of college, but I'm sure I will do my best to get through college, and do what I need to do, to help make this world a better place. | My motivation is to change the world. |
t3_rcg5a | AskReddit | Why are you hitting on your cashier? Stop that. | I work in a grocery store and at least once a day I get guys who come through the line, make inappropriate comments, and then get pissed when I don't respond. Multiple freaking times a day. Why do they do that? I'm at work. I'm trying to be professional. Unless I know you personally or have developed a good work relationship with you, I don't want to hear you making jokes about how I "must have some pretty sweet thoughts ringing up all those cucumbers." And it's not like it's immature 20 year-olds. I get men who are 40 years old pulling that shit. Like today. This guy came through my line and made some comment about sticking things in holes and told me to lighten up when I ignored it. Then he said several other things, and at the end of the transaction told me I was a "bitch who needs to smile more." It was like I fucking owed him something. And it wasn't just that guy--loads do it. | Why do guys think it's okay to make creepy comments to cashiers, and why do they get pissed when I don't want to play their little game when I don't even fucking know them? |
t3_14bi7q | relationships | I [M17] have strong feelings for a girl [17F] but think i'm getting played. | Ok so i met this girl when she came to my high school at the beginning of the year and we instantly started talking, it's like we just connected. Couple of months later, things start to get pretty hot and she ends up staying over my house for the night. The next day i ask her about last night and she said she didn't want to be in a relationship. I found out a month later that she is going out with some scumbag guy, so i'm really angry here but can't do anything anymore.
So we are in the same class so we still see each other everyday but don't really talk. A couple of months later we started talking again. I now have stronger feelings for this girl but try to convince myself not to get ahead of myself so i wouldn't get hurt.
We have been flirting every single day and i went to her house the other day and before i left i gave her a kiss. She tells me she really likes me i say i hope we can be more then friends in the future
So tonight i found out that she likes another person because the person she likes is my good mates twin brother and he told her i went to her house. So i found out they were talking about the situation and i confront her about it. She says she likes both of us and sees me and her being in a relationship but not with the other guy and she is trying to sort out her feelings.
I feel like i'm in a game but i have never had such strong feeling for a girl before and my friends are saying to not go further with her because she will hurt me.
I need advice
Thanks | Have feeling for a girl but found she likes another guy also. I feel i'm in a game. |
t3_47wjwd | relationships | Me [20M] with my SO [20 F] for one year and I'm completely exhausted by her personal issues, and not knowing what to do | Hi everyone, so I don't really know where to start - but I'll try to make it as clear as possible for you guys to understand.
In the past, I've been depressed and had many issues with myself (this is because of my problems in socialising with people and not knowing what I want in life, plus the facts that my parents were and still are unsupportive and delusive). It took me a lot of time to work it out, but eventually, I've been able form good friendships, started studying in university on something I am passionate for, and have an extreme confidence on who I am and I'm just... happy being myself.
Me and my SO have been dating for a year now, and it's a good relationship when she's in a good mood. She has anxiety and many problems with her insecurities. One thing that's bothered me a lot is whenever she wants to see me, and if I'm busy with schoolwork, she will not tolerate that and would get really aggressive. When this happens, she would demand my attention and want me to make her feel better, but no matter how hard I try she will twist my words and make them horrible. (For instance, she just said that every time I feel bad she would be here for me, but not in reverse - which is not true: when I feel bad I would like to distance myself from people and not bother anyone; and right now I can't be there for her because I have a deadline really soon.)
I've tried as hard as I can many many times to understand that from her perspective it is hard to be peaceful and harmonic with anxiety. But I can't help to feel that this is dragging me extremely down. I'm exhausted and I don't think I can fight her anxiety for her, and perhaps you might think that I'm selfish, but I've had similar issues before and I know that it's only her who could solve her own problems (with the support of me and others of course). Reddit, help! | my relationship is going to shit mostly because of my SO's anxiety and I don't really know what to do |
t3_1t0gjm | relationships | How do I [23F] move a crush/flirting relationship forward with someone [35M] slightly out of bounds? | I need help navigating what to do: I'm really into a man 12 years older than me. I'm a 23 yr old woman, he is a 35 yr old man. We work together - he is one of my mangers. Its my part time job (I have a separate full time job). If I'm being honest, the main reason I have kept this job just to keep being around him.
His age and position are why he is slightly out of bounds. We are both single. Nothing has happened -- we both like each other (me romantically, him at the very least as a friend) but unfortunately we are both shy and know there are these two obstacles/boundaries.
I had a crush on him from the moment I met him. That day I checked to see if he had a wedding ring- the first time in my life I had ever done this. Over the past 6+ months, I've been getting to know him more at work I slowly developed into really really liking him. He compliments me, supports me, is trusting as well as vulnerable about personal things and generally awesome to me. I try to reciprocate all these things. We share similar tastes in movies and music, which he has brought me DVDs and CDs of his favorites which we banter over the merits of these - the higher up boss knows and gets in on the fun discussions, its not a secret or anything.
Its kind of funny I have a ton of his things at my house but we have never out of work hung out or gone further then this crush/flirting stage. I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid to tell him straight out how I feel in case I'm off base thinking that he likes me too and I wreck what we currently have going that is so special.
How can I maneuver the age and work aspects? Meanwhile, how can I stay true to the fact I genuinely care for him, don't want any professional harm to come to him, yet want to develop a deeper relationship? | I have a crush on an older guy who I work with. I need your advice on if/ how I should move this crush/flirting situation forward. Where can this go? |
t3_jl8hv | AskReddit | Help? I'm really feeling hopeless right now. | Hey, Reddit.
So I lost my job as a teacher this past April. I decided I wanted to start over and form my own nonprofit corporation. Me and my business partner have worked hard all summer and mailed off our tax exempt application last week and we've been looking at possible grant opportunities. Our aim is to provide tutoring services for kids recovering from illness and thus missing a lot of school. More information can be found on our website here. (Its not a super high quality website, but hey I designed it myself)
The main roadblock we're running into is foundations are very hesitant to fund new organizations like ours. One organization encouraged us to apply in a year when we have some data.
While I understand the logic, I can't help but feel disheartened. How do we survive our first year? I still need to eat and pay my bills. I want so badly to follow my dreams. I know this would make me so happy, but how do I do this and survive financially? Or do I just face the music and find some other job? Has anyone else started over like this? Any kind of advice would be appreciated. | Feeling slightly discouraged with my new career endeavor. Help? |
t3_4xhd49 | AskDocs | Unprovoked irritability and anger problems. Need advice and/or help | First let me apologize for the wall of text but I do not know where to turn or how to handle my situation.
I am currently at a point where even I cannot tolerate myself. For the last few months I have been having unprovoked bouts of irritability bordering on anger. The smallest thing triggers it, someone ask me a question and I'll react by yelling and saying mean and unnecessary things(I have done nothing physically violent but the thoughts are there) . Afterwards I relize what I've said and how I've reacted is completely inappropriate to the situation. It started out only once in a while but has gotten progressively worse in intensity and frequency. After its trigger and I relize that I shouldn't be acting that way I pretty much just shut down and won't speak or acknowledge any one with more than a glance or a nod. I internalize the problem and try to figure out why am acting so irrational but I just cannot figure out what's wrong. It affects my marriage and upsets my wife, who really doesn't understand what's going on but she has come to learn my moods and leaves me to myself until the latest episode passes. | irrational anger and mood shifts. I know some things off but can't stop myself. |
t3_3cdc5x | needadvice | What is life at corporate housing like? | I'm starting an internship next week in a city that's a couple of hours away from my home, so I'm getting corporate housing for the duration of it. The city doesn't have much of a night scene or much to do in general, so I was worried what I would do on the weekends (besides whatever I do with other interns/employees). I'm the only intern staying there, that I know of, the rest are most likely people who work at banks, since that's what most of this town is made of. My friend told me though that most corporate housing places have lounges where a decent amount of the people staying there go in their free time to relax and chat with other people staying there. I know my place has that too, which is where the gym and laundry rooms are. So, my friend said since most people are away from home and many are single, a lot of hooking up happens with the people you meet in those rooms. Obviously, every place is different, I was wondering though what the general consensus was for what the general mood of a corporate housing lounge is? | What's the social scene (if you can call it that) like at a corporate housing? Do most people keep to themselves? Or do a lot of people go to the lounge and even look to have some fun/hookup with other people living there? |
t3_1zw7n2 | relationships | I [18 M] broke up with my GF [17F] of 1.5 years - we're going to talk about "closure" and maybe getting back together. What do I do? | Five days ago, I broke up with my girlfriend because of incompatibility issues - not too many common interests, going away for college - but, I'm starting to question whether I did the right thing. I guess i'm feeling regret for blindsiding her - essentially - and breaking her heart.
But, i'm really confused with myself. Part of me wants to go back to her; part of me wants to move on and have fun with other people. I really don't know what to do.
I'm also worried about today because we're meeting to talk. She wants to talk about closure and has hinted that she wants to stay single after the things I've said to her. However, I feel like an idiot, because I'm not sure if breaking up with her was the right decision. I don't want this talk to turn into me trying to get her back if it's just going to end up happening all over again. | I broke up with my girlfriend 5 days ago; we're getting ready to talk about closure and maybe dating again. I'm going to college and we have the occasional incompatibility. I can't decide whether I want to move on or stay with her. I feel stupid. What do I do? How do I approach this? |
t3_gwrd2 | relationship_advice | My SO and I love each other very much, but he wants to experience other stuff, please help me Reddit | We are almost the same age (I'm 11 months older) and we think alike in a lot of aspects, but since we're relatively young (we're 19 and 20) he thinks he should experience more stuff, and that maybe he would like to establish in a serious relationship when he's older, although he is sure he loves me and right now certain he doesn't want to break up, we just had this intense talking about the subject and I feel as if nothing could be done for the relationship to continue as it was before. I, too, love him too much, but I don't know if I should end the relationship for both of our sakes, he has a will of his own and I think I'm getting hurt in the process. I've told him I could be open minded about that and let him have those experiences while we're still a couple, though he too wants to experiment other formal relationships. I need advice and opinions people, I would appreciate it a lot. | SO and I are a young couple, we love each other very much but he wants to experiment, though he already expressed his unwillingness to end the relationship. |
t3_2ye2hj | relationships | How do I make friends in my new neighborhood? [26F] | Typing on a phone so please ignore any mistakes!
My husband and I moved to a much nicer neighborhood than we lived in before. We never cared to make friends with any of our old neighbors because we didn't plan on living in that area for long.
I notice a lot of our neighbors now are generally around the same age. Some have kids and some don't. We don't have kids so we exactly meet and chit chat at the bus stop etc.
We have had a picnic when we first moved and invited just a few neighbors to meet them, and they were all our immediate neighbors who are a lot older.
My question is how do you become friends with people in your neighborhood? I'm very shy but love the idea of having friends whose houses are walking distance away!
I met a couple today while walking our dogs who seemed really nice but I didn't want to come off as "weird" and ask whIch house they lived in and if they want to be best friends. How do I gradually work that in? How do I be friendly to them without making it seem like I am a swinger? | I am socially awkward and want to know how to make friends in my neighborhood without scaring them |
t3_2cvmkp | relationships | Me [26 M] with my friend [19 F] 2 months, how to tactfully let people know we're not dating? | So my workplace has had an intern (Elena) working with us for the summer. She's from Europe and her supervisor is my closest friend in the office. Last month, her supervisor asked me if I could show Elena around town and Elena and I got along pretty well.
I've been going through personal problems which made me uncomfortable with romantic relationships at this time but I've been making an effort to focus on making new platonic relationships.
My university has an alumni social group has an annual summer picnic towards the end of August. It's typically a family event (as everyone is in their 40's and above) and I have no problem with her coming along. In fact, I'll invite her since we both don't really have much of a social life outside of each other.
It's a fun event and I'm pretty sure some will teasingly inquire about our relationship status especially when the wine starts flowing. What would be a tactful way to let them know we're just friends without giving off the "ewww" reaction.
I do suspect Elena has a crush on me but a relationship is not something I want to pursue. I'll admit, there is potential. However:
1) She's gone in a month and a half. I'm starting grad school this fall and she happens to actually be in the same field and thinks she would like to join my department in a couple of years but nothing is certain.
2) I'm not a good romantic partner at this time. By the time she comes back, I should be in a better mental state. | How do I tactfully tell people a girl that may have a crush on me we're not dating and we're just good friends? |
t3_wu6so | AskReddit | So I work at a camp with a 7yr old that has high functioning autism. Today, I found out that the mysterious drink that his aid gives him 6 times daily is possibly toxic (it is known as MMS). What should I do? | Here we go:
He is a 7yr old camper and I've noticed over the last few weeks that his aid gives him a "mysterious" small drink from a sippy cup at seemingly regular and frequent intervals. Today, I finally decided to ask her what it was. I was especially curious because when he does drink it, she always tells him to drink it quickly followed by a small sip of water.
The aid went on to tell me that the mysterious liquid is known as MMS. I had never heard of it and I asked his counselor (NOT to be confused with his aid, this is a different guy, a friend of mine.) what it was. He told me that the kid's aid and parents told him that its to treat his Autism.
Here is where the story gets interesting; I came home today and immediately googled it because I was extremely curious. From the looks of it, it is one of those quack medical scams where they sell desperate people an ineffective (and in this case, dangerous) solution.
Many articles came up comparing MMS to drinking bleach. I'm no science major but I'm pretty sure that's a problem.
So here is my dilemma summed up/ | 7yr old kid is forced to drink mystery Autism "cure" called MMS or Miracle Mineral Supplement daily. |
t3_1y2zjq | relationships | Is it wrong for me [28 M] to expect my girlfriend [25 F] of 4 months to come home after a 'girls night'? | We are living together and she has a kid. I know it's way to early by most standards for her to have moved in, but theres a bunch of history that kind of complicates things and I'm not sure it has any bearing on this question.
A few weeks ago my girlfriend went out on a girls night. I was expecting her to be home a little after the bars close at 2 am so we could have a bit of drunk fun, but she didn't get home until around 4 am. I let her know it made me upset, but I made a point to not make a big deal out of it. She said she didn't want to drive drunk so she slept on a friends couch for a couple hours. I told her I was surprised that she got home so late, and to please try to not stay out so late next time.
Last night she went out again. Before she left I told her to have fun, and reminded her that I hoped she would get home earlier than last time. She agreed that she would be home well before 4am. Then she got home at about 4:30 this morning.
I got pretty upset because she agreed to be home earlier than that, but got home super late anyway. She was very apologetic. I just want a little reality check. Is it unreasonable for me to expect her to come home after a night out? She said she doesn't want to feel like she has a curfew. I think coming home at the end of the night is just part of being in a relationship. Am I way off, or is this just a 'different strokes for different folks' kind of thing? | Am I being controlling by expecting my girlfriend to come home after the bars close? |
t3_26lpqh | legaladvice | My son lost some of his man business, need help! | Last weekend, my 15 yo son had intense lower abdominal pain, we took him to the ER in Brighton, CO and after a CT scan and blood work they advised us there was nothing wrong, most likely he had bad gas. :| We went home and my son continued to have some pain. I followed up with his pediatrician on Wednesday who checked his testicles and found that they were hard. The pediatrician sent us immediately to have an ultrasound done, they found that his teste had gotten twisted and that it was now necrotic and my son had to have emergency surgery to have the dead teste removed.
I was livid upon finding out that if caught early enough, testes can be untwisted with surgery and saved. My son who is usually easy going was very angry, sad, and confused. I'm unsure if we have a claim for medical negligence against the ER who told us that my son had gas and wanted to see if Reddit can give me any guidance before I talk to a lawyer. | My son lost a ball, can we sue? |
t3_w47hy | AskReddit | My girlfriend doesn't trust one of my closest friends. Should i cut ties or continue being friends? | Some back story, i've been dating my girlfriend for the past 6 months. We've been friends for 4 years and decided to try out a relationship. She moved away so it is in fact a long distant relationship, but it is working out better than ever expected. My friend i've known for about 3 years. She is in fact a girl which is the reason for the conflict. We were very close, she was one of the few people i actually completely trusted and talked to about everything, her and my now girlfriend. My girlfriend says she doesn't trust my friend, that she has feelings for me even though she says she doesn't. I've been talking to my friend less and less this year, but i started talking to her again. Honestly, i noticed what my girlfriend noticed. When she said she was happy for us, it seemed very fake. I really don't know what i should do right now. | My girlfriend doesn't trust my very good friend, and i'm starting to understand why. Not sure whether or not i need to cut ties or continue being friends. |
t3_2beq56 | loseit | [NSV] Friend said he likes the new me | It happens to all of us. As we grow older, we grow farther apart from friends who we used to be close with. This past weekend, six of us got together for a close friends bachelor party. I hadn't seen most of these friends since I started my journey last August. In the time between, I have lost 74lbs through diet and running.
Running has helped me physically through actually losing weight, and mentally by relieving stress and making me feel better about myself as a whole. At the end of the night, after rounds of drinks my friend says to me, "I really like running mjohn47. You are so much more confident and happy. I'm so happy for you brother."
Obligatory progress pictures: | Running has changed me physically and mentally. |
t3_45zr82 | relationships | My friend [40 F] of two years gives me [30 F] odd examples of our friendship. | I met Lin two years ago through work and consider her a fairly close friend. Lin has a very reserved and "slow to warm" demeanor, especially at work (where she is very successful), but can also be very warm, fun, and social and thus is pretty popular. Her demeanor has at times left me wondering how she feels about me, but she's done and said enough consistently kind, even loving stuff to and for me and shared enough with me that I do mostly believe our friendship is mutual and genuine.
The odd thing is that Lin will sometimes point out seemingly small things as being defining of our friendship. Not things like "I invited you to my party because we're friends" or "I want to see you before I move because we're friends" but things like "I ate some of your fries, and that must mean we're friends," "You bought me that drink at the concert, and I guess that's what friends do," and "You reminded me to look up the name of that artist on the museum website--that's why you're my friend." It throws me off, honestly, because I wonder if she struggles to think of any reason to be my friend and thus comes up with those...? In other words, does she secretly not like me and thus can only manage to come up with really mundane examples of why we're friends? We've both seen each other through personal stuff (divorces, deaths of family members, etc), and I've always tried to be a good, supportive friend in both good and not-so-good times, but those never come up as reasons why we're friends. On the other hand, she's said really nice things to me that I don't think you would say to someone who wasn't a close friend--"I'll always be there for you, no matter what," "I'm glad my family got to meet you and see how amazing you are," "you bring me a lot of happiness and I'm so glad that you're in my life," etc--and done things for me that seem to indicate friendship.
I've never seen her do this with anyone else, and she's not socially awkward in general (if anything, quite the opposite). | My friend gives me really mundane examples of our friendship, and it makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong as a friend or completely misreading our friendship. |
t3_2wewbr | relationships | Can't bring myself [22/M] to breakup with my boyfriend [20/M] of 8 months. | * Dating 8 months after meeting online.
* We lived close when we first met, but I have since moved about 2 hours away. We only travel to see each other via train. We see each other approx. 4 days out of each month.
* We're gay, he's completely out of the closet and very obviously gay. I am not out at all other than with my immediate family.
I'm not really developing any new romantic feelings for him since our relationship began, but he appears to be head-over-heels in love with me. We argue all the time, over the phone. I've tried to be as blunt and non-coddling as possible with him when the topic of breaking up with him occurs.
I've literally told him in exact words that I don't love him, I don't miss him when he's not around, and I don't think our relationship has any longevity in it. Yet, whenever I tell him I think that its over, he starts hysterically crying and moaning, is barely able to speak, and begs me not to leave him. We've had this convo and subsequent breakdown 3 times now and on this last time a couple days ago he collapsed in a loudly crying heap on his kitchen floor, I had to literally cover his mouth with my hand to stop him from waking everyone in his family at 2am.
I don't know what to do, I don't know why he's doing this? Why does he want to be in a relationship with someone who clearly isn't capable of meeting his needs for romance and affection? I just can't bring myself to just cut him off altogether, I don't know what he might due to himself, or just how vindictive he might be (i.e outing me as gay publicly). | Need advice for what to say and how to handing my psuedo-long distance boyfriend who devolves into histrionics at the slightest hint of a breakup. |
t3_2a2ujq | relationships | She is all I can think about.. what would you have done? | Me- male- 25
Girlfriend- female- 23
We had been together for a year and a half. We have a decent relationship and I miss her so much. I left her a couple of weeks ago now... I love her but at the same time things just don't seem to work out for us.
She has a hard time controlling her mood swings( which she had been getting better over the last year but it was still bad... I've had a problem opening up and telling her what was on my mind.
I feel like she always wanted something else so over the last month I finally made the decision to end things with her if there wasn't a change. She deserves more than what I could give her... I love her enough to not waste her time.
I feel as if whatever I touch dies.. we had made progress with our relationship but after a year and a half and we still have the same problems... what's the point?
I'd like to take her back because I miss her so much but I doubt anything would actually change. | I loved her enough to let her go... but should I have kept trying instead? |
t3_3uuv8l | relationships | My (28/M) dad is an alcoholic and I want to talk about his health and how it is affecting my family. | my dad gets drunk just about every other night. i didnt have a good relationship with him and didnt talk much when i was still living at home but now that ive been moved out for almost 6 years, i feel a little more comfortable making small conversation with him. my mom and i have brought up his drinking before, sometimes he would drink less, but ultimately, he goes back to getting drunk multiple times during the week. we dont know exactly why he does, because he keeps quiet or get defensive when we bring it up when he's sober and we just rather leave him alone, but i can imagine it is just due to stress with instability at work and problems with money.
lately, my mom and my brother has informed me that he drinks and drives, even when he has to drive my 10 year old brother to things after school, which infuriates me especially since he already has a short fuse as it is when driving. also, he is controlling, and aloof, and all these things together, i know my mom is unhappy as they go weeks without talking and my brothers just grow up resenting him. the only times he likes to be around my family is when he is drunk and he is usually fucking annoying and just rambles about nonsense.
anyway, i want to have a talk with him but i dont want it to come off like i am attacking him and make him get defensive. i want him to realize our concerns with health, his and my family's safety, just overall our relationship as a family, and that we really care about him. i dont think he had a good relationship with his family growing up and i really feel sorry for him. i want him to know that we love him but he kind of makes life miserable for those that live in the house with him. i just want any advice for those who have had similar discussions, what questions to bring up, what to say, what not to say. | dad is an alcoholic. he drinks and drives, keeps to himself, and doesnt really spend time with his family. how should i go about talking about it with him? |
t3_4erkus | relationships | Husband (34M) and I (32F), married 3 years, are trying for a baby. My MIL (60sF) has begun buying baby clothes, yet has no idea we're trying. | My husband is a Redditor so he may see this, however we wanted to get opinions how how to handle the situation.
**Background:** We have been trying for a baby for the past 6 months and have so far been unsuccessful. I really haven't been too upset about that until last month where I got fairly emotional and frustrated at the negative tests. My MIL has a history of pressuring us about grandchildren pretty much from day one of our 3 year marriage and we have been fairly clear that we do want children but were not trying and were waiting until we were ready. The two of us agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone until we were actually pregnant, and even then we would wait until the first trimester was over.
**Current situation:** The other day my MIL sent my husband an email where the subject line was something along the lines of "I just couldn't help myself" and inside the email she said that she bought a baby onesie and included a picture of it and asked if he liked it. She then called him to follow up and ask him about it but he hadn't even opened it up at that point. He opened it later and showed me and I was honestly just shocked that she would actually buy baby clothes for a baby that doesn't exist. I was also hurt by the pressure that she puts on us to have a baby. I'm trying as hard as I can and I can't make it happen any faster so I'm already feeling the pressure from myself.
She has no idea that we're trying, if we've been having issues, if I can't conceive for some reason, or if I've had any complications so this purchase is very presumptuous and hurtful to me.
I know she will ask about it again or, god forbid, give me the onesie in person and I don't know how my husband and I should handle the situation when it arises. We want to make it clear that this gesture was out of line but we still don't want to let her know that we are trying because that will make things a million times worse. | Trying for a baby and my MIL bought clothes for a non-existent baby. |
t3_4k32r4 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my Fllipina fiancé [30 F] and her Father [6? M]. He wants to use the Meeting of the Family event to silence gossip, we do not. | I'm writing this on behalf of both me and my fiancé. I'm a European guy and my fiancé is a Filipina from a decently well off family. There are quite a few stereotypes in the Phillipines regarding relationships like ours, though we break them. We are close in age, we have a lot in common and we have been together for quite a while and while it has been long distance we have each visited each other quite a bit over the course of our relationship. We have a relationship built on love and partnership, my family knows it and her immediate family knows it.
The problem is with her extended family, where gossip flows freely. As a bit closer to the wedding than is traditional, we will be holding something called "pamanhikan", which serves the purpose of letting the bride and the grooms family get to know each other. My fiancés father wants to invite quite a lot of relatives to it just so they can see that we do not fall under the stereotypes of an intercultural couple. My fiancé just wants to ignore the opinions of the extended family instead though and neither she or I want to make the pamanhikan about proving our relationship.
Furthermore, if we agree to her fathers wishes the whole thing might end up involving almost a hundred people, undermining the purpose of it and possibly making my family uncomfortable. We want to know how to deal with this, if we should give in or not.
Note that this was after we refused to invite these people to our wedding (which we pay for ourselves, aside from a small contribution from my mother), as we both want something smaller
than the typical Filipino wedding. He even offered to double our wedding budget so we could accommodate it. | Fiancés father wants to use The Meeting of the Family event to quench gossip after we did not allow him to use our wedding for it. |
t3_2efzmq | relationships | My ex [22F] made plans to spend day with me [28M] after a month and half apart. | I have been 98% no contact with my ex since we split on July 7th. We both work in the same place but hadn't seen each other in a long time. I'm pretty sure she is with someone else that is a good friend of hers. I see her in work the other day she was in with this guy. she led me into another room away from this guy so we could have a little chat alone. We shared a long cuddle which ended in us holding hands and then another cuddle.
She had a birthday present for me from the other week so I opened that and then we just chatted for half hour about what we had been up to since we was apart, while we chatted she would sometimes place her hand on my knee/leg or she would be kicking my foot playfully with her own. I suggested I would go because she seemed a little busy but said it was okay to stay.
We also spoke about meeting up on Monday (25th August) and spending the day together.
Then this guy come in I was polite and said hello I knew him already from when I was with my ex and things didn't seem awkward for me or her with him being in the room. I got up and said bye and mentioned she should stop bye before she leaves.
During this time she commented on one of my instagram photos.
It came down to her leaving and I walked out to her car with her and this guy. Before she got in the car she gave me another hug and then mentioned about meeting up on Monday in front of this guy and to text her plans, after this she left smiling and waving at me as she drove off.
The next day I get a text from her with ideas on what we could do for the day we text a little more and then the convo died. I didn't text her anymore, and now I wait to see what tomorrow shall bring | Any idea what is going on? Who makes plans like that in front of new partner? |
t3_40p9my | AskDocs | Treating a Scrape <24hr | I have a fresh scrape from last night playing indoor soccer. As soon as I got home I washed out the wound, with rubbing alcohol and brushed it down lightly to make sure that anything inside the area of the scrape was gone. I then put polysporin on it for about an 1hr30min until I showered.
I made sure to wash it more while I was showering, making sure that I didn't get any stinging sensation when I was done.
After showing, I dried the area, then applied more polysporin, and since it's a larger area, I take a gauze pad and tape it over before I get into bed. I change the gauze pad this morning, go about my day and come home to wash the scrape and apply polysporin.
After having applied polysporin, the area is inflamed, it is oozing (clear thicker fluid almost like mucus?), and it still stings even after having washed it.
Did I do something wrong? Did I miss doing something to treat it? | How should I treat a fresh (<24hr) scrape that is oozing, inflamed and stinging. |
t3_2chued | weddingplanning | International wedding and reception - hire an interpreter? | I plan on asking our wedding planner, but wanted to get some real-life examples, advice, help, tips, etc. from weddit first! FH is from Japan and I'm from the U.S. We both speak each other's language, but both sides of the new family are monolingual. The only exceptions is elementary English from FH's sister, and a 2 mutual friends (a couple) that speak both languages relatively well.
We will have an officiant that can translate at least parts of the ceremony, and we'll have both languages on any printed material. Recently, however, FH suggested hiring an interpreter to sit with our parents at a the table they'd share during the reception. I first thought it sounded a bit odd, having a stranger join one of the tables, but now I'm thinking it's a very good idea. FH and I are the only ones that can/would feel comfortable interpreting for them, but we probably won't want to "babysit" the table and facilitate conversation at our own wedding.
Does anyone else have any thoughts on this - issues we might be overlooking, similar experiences at weddings you've been to, any advice? I'd love to hear! | Two families don't speak each other's language!! FH suggested an interpreter to sit with the parents and I'm warming up to the idea. Thoughts, advice, etc? |
t3_21e9wc | relationships | [M18] Need help!!!! Currently sick in the middle between my X and the One who got away. | OK so here's what happened. Me an my ex girlfriend [19] broke up do to me losing feelings, being fed up with her BS, and her giving me (clap). After this final breakup I haven't talked to her in a long while. She texts me to ask when I want my stuff and how to do drop and If she can meet up with me to "talk".
I do and we start to re Kindle which is OK I guess except I don't want a relationship and she does. She also still has my stuff that I would like back but I CAN see myself getting back together with her.
OK now the plot twist. The One who got away [F17] works at my local shop rite, and gives me her number after YEARS without contact. We start talking and I took her out yesterday and caught up with each other. I currently have plans to see her tomorrow as well as my X but I really have no idea what to do. I think she's I to me but I've been played out by her like that in the past my X claims she never cheated was entirely faithful and has multiple alibis (allibise?) as to what she does when she is not around me. But how did I get the clap? I need advice. Strong, supportive, honest, SERIOUS, advice please reddit I need this. | X gf gave me clap (maybe) claims she was faithful, I ended relationship but remainded friends because of how big a part of my life she was and started to reconnect. The one who got away works at local grocery store gives me her number we chill and catch up. Getting mixed signals and catching feels for both women, what do? |
t3_31fvd1 | tifu | TIFU by using expired sunscreen | TIFU when I went to the beach. This was actually 24 hours ago, I just slept yesterday and didn't post this story for you wonderful people.
Couple of friends and I went to the beach. I'm notorious for getting awful sunburns, (we're talking blistering, fevers, the whole 9 yards) so my friends made sure I put of sunscreen so I wouldn't die. I used a tube of sunscreen from my house that I'd found in my cabinet.
Well after 6 hours out in the sun, I'm currently lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position that doesn't make my entire torso hurt. So I was pissed that my sunscreen didn't work, checked the bottle, and learnt that it had expired back in 2013.
So, TIFU, and TIL my lesson. | 6 hours in the sun |
t3_2zph7m | running | Would you rather run a race on a Saturday or Sunday? Does it matter? | Hi everyone, I am planning a 5K for my organization and am wondering whether a Saturday or Sunday run is more appealing to runners. I know as a runner I don't have a preference when it is a shorter distance, but I wanted a to hear from other runners. A few details I can provide to take into consideration (or not) are:
*it is planned to be in the morning (race start at 9:00am) on October 3 or 4 in Illinois.
*It is a timed USATF certified trail on a crushed limestone path.
*Additionally, the race has the possibility of being a family friendly fun run (strollers and leashed dogs welcome, but they would have a separate corral and start time). Would this make the race more appealing?
*The run will also have 3-deep awards for sixteen age categories.
This is my first time planning an event like this so I would appreciate some input. Thank you! | When choosing a race, would you rather run on a Saturday or Sunday? |
t3_s8d80 | running | Help me! | I am basically a beginner. I ran track in HS to get and stay in shape for football, but after graduation (1995) I stopped exercising regularly. This year I decided that a lifestyle change was in order and started running. I found a program online similar to c25k, and completed it. I'm feeling pretty good about myself and I've started the 5-10k on the coolrunning android app. I like the results that I'm getting and pushing myself. Everything was going great. Until now. I live with my brother and his fiance and they've been passing this cold back and forth and it finally attached itself to me. I have a sore throat, congested sinus, and generally feel sh!tty all around. I have a feeling if I go out running and push myself I'm going to regret it. I don't want to lose all the progress that I've made, but all the same time, I want to lest my body rest and recuperate so that my immune system can kick this cold's @ss. What do I do? | Finished C25K then got sick. Now what?? |
t3_d331k | AskReddit | What makes your heart swell? What media or moment changed you intrinsically? What makes you undone? | I've been think quite a bit about what changes your life perspective. What moments I've had that created me, what changed me, what shaped me. That one moment where I listened to the quiet and heard an orchestra of the beauty around me. Where my heart swelled with hope and endurance and life was not about financial wealth, personal problems, or the sad state of the world. Mozart moved me into a state of Consciousness. Langston Hughes destroyed my prefabricated ideas of reality. Dawkins made me question and hurt and heal. Carl Sagan made me appreciate the world beyond our world in absolute wonder. And Reddit? Reddit's unending community and dialogue and curiosity never fails to amaze me.
Let's appreciate who we are, where we are, and what we're capable of for moment. Let's take a breath from the disparity and hatred. Tell me your moments, Reddit. What moves you? What made you unravel?
TED talks, quotes, literature, movies, music, art, poetry, travel experiences, anything is welcome. It doesn't even have to be something well known or distinguished - sometimes we come to Consciousness in the most subtle and quiet of ways. Even merely sitting with my friends in the darkness and enjoying each others company for that single moment moves me into a state of a higher appreciation than I thought possible. | I'm a huge sap and want to know your sappy moments of humanity. |
t3_16b3x3 | relationships | Do I have a responsibility as a bridesmaid to attend the bachelorette party? Both 25F | I am going to be a bridesmaid for a good friend of 2.5 years. I moved away for grad school, so if I were to go, I'd probably have to spend at least $200 on a plane ticket or drive 8 hours for the one weekend. I am already going to be flying in two months for the actual wedding. (not really relevant but the actual wedding is the weekend before my finals). I feel so bad because I love her and I want to be there but at the same time there are so many difficulties and I already accepted as a bridesmaid. I just want to gauge how big of a deal bachelorette parties are to most people. I know it's a big part of the process and I also feel like I should because she is a good friend and she also bought my bridesmaid dress without asking for anything. The only thing is I feel it's kind of a lot of money, especially since my parents aren't paying for school. I can't really run it by her either since it's a surprise party. Any thoughts? I feel really really conflicted. | Am a bridesmaid living long distance. Would have to fly for both the bachelorette party and the wedding, is it ok to not go? |
t3_2i1oh6 | relationships | Me [26F] with man of interest [32M] for month, then ghosted when he didn't get job | Guy and I had a great month dating and everything was very mutual. During our time together he was doing multiple rounds of interviews for 2 jobs and felt really good about his odds. Then on the same day, he found out he didn't get either job. He asked for time to himself which I completely get, but now its been 3 weeks and he hasn't initiated contact. When I've initiated he's been responsive but never indicates that he's ready to see me and I don't want to push him.
I get he's going through a tough time but I'm a person too. Is he expecting that I'm waiting? When do I assume he's just not going to get back to me? Is it too much to ask for clarification on where things stand? At this point I feel disrespected and if he was really in to me, he would reach out. | How long can he stay in his cave after a career let down, and I am expected to wait after such a short time together? |
t3_1q1rnf | relationships | My [17 M] girlfriend [17 F] left me recently. I don't know what to do with myself. | We were together for 18 months and had what I thought to be a pretty great relationship. Not only were we good lovers, but we were good friends as well.
About 2 months ago she broke up with me saying that she just doesn't want a relationship anymore. She says that she has too much to worry about to be serious with anyone. I know for a fact that she still loves/cares about me, and she still keeps notes from me to her of me saying I love her.
We still want to be good close friends, and that's what I've been trying to do.. but honestly it hurts a lot. I see her most of the day in school every day, and just being around her brings back all the memories and pain.
I know that I deserve better, but I don't want any better. I told her that ill always love her and be willing to get back together if she ever changes her mind. But I honestly don't see that happening.. a part of me wants to move on, but the majority of me wants to wait it out and not give up on her.
I know I'm still young and shouldn't be this worked up over it, but even broken up she's still the biggest part of my life. I figure that if I just back off and give her the space she wants maybe eventually she'll want to try again.
Any advice? | gf left me, and my mind is all over the place. Not sure what to do. |
t3_1c6tew | relationships | I (F23) live and care for my grandmother (F60) and I am starting to really resent her. | I've been living with my grandmother along with my mom (f39) for only a few months while my grandfather (m62) is working overseas in Saudi Arabia. I do pretty much everything around the house which includes grocery shopping, geriatric care for my grandmother, basic chores, all while working part time. I can't recall ever having a good day around her as she has a bad habit of acting like a goddamned child. She constantly starts arguments and makes everything about her. She makes threats and tattles to my grandpa about everything I supposedly do. My mother doesn't help much around the house because she always hides in the back room and naps, so I get most of the blows from grandma. I have talked to grandma about how I feel on my end about her behavior and she either apologizes and keeps doing it or tells me to grow up and quit being a child.
Leaving this place would leave a great sense of guilt because she is extremely handicapped and no one else would care for her like I have. A nursing home is out of the question according to my grandpa. I've talked to him about further options, but all he's said was to go to college and get a degree. What he doesn't realize is that this household is extremely toxic to my mental health and if I ever hope to have a decent adulthood, I need out of here. I'm a lot quicker to anger than I normally am and I'm starting to get anxiety attacks which I've never have. I feel absolutely trapped here and can't handle dealing with this woman for the next four years of college. What can I do? | Grandma is taking a serious toll on my mental well-being and I feel trapped here. |
t3_y3atr | AskReddit | Hey Reddit. I was just caught slacking off by the owner of the retail franchise I work at during one of his surprise visits. I got fired. What's your worst bad timing/fuck up at work? | I just finished a pretty big sale (men's fashion) that I was working on for about two hours. I was at the cash desk, which is in the middle of the store, grabbed my bottle of water, and put both elbows down on the desk. When I looked up, there he was. He walked up to me and introduced himself as the owner, and my heart sank, and stomach went into a knot. After a few minutes of small talk he pulled the assistant manager over and talked to him in private. Minutes later I was told that once I go on break I shouldn't return. Even though I was doing my job, and just took a quick rest at the exact time that the owner walked in, I still looked like I wasn't being a good employee. Bad timing for sure. Every reason I gave to them sounded like a bad excuse so the ruling was final. The good news is that I was leaving for school in three days anyways, but now I can't have them on my work experience list. | The owner of a company I work for mistakenly took me as a slacker, and I got fired. |
t3_1g6i0c | relationships | Me[29M] with my girlfriend [27F] of 8 months, and she isn't interested in sex any more! | My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months. Our relationship is great in just about every way. Our sex life was amazing up until about 3 or 4 weeks ago. She just isn't interested in it much any more. We are intimate maybe 1 or 2 times a week and getting her in the mood is nearly impossible it seems... When we do do anything I feel like i'm pulling teeth most of the time. I don't know what to do any more. I really love this woman but if something doesn't change in this area, I don't think it'll work.
I've talked to her about all of this and she said that she'd "try harder"... whatever that means and she is going through a rough time right now and to just give her time ... I'm at the end of my rope. | Girlfriend has lost her sex drive and it's making me crazy. I love her and don't want things to end. Looking for your thoughts and advice. Thanks. |
t3_zeird | relationship_advice | Me [25/m] trying to get over beating cheated on by er [27/f] | Hi reddit,
Sorry for the wall of text.
Last night I found out my girlfriend of 10 months cheated on me while at the beach for the weekend. What she admitted after I confronted her (she was acting too strange for something to not be up) was kissing/making out with another person in the beach house multiple times over 3 days. She says that it occurred when she was really drunk but not thinking about her actions. Our relationship hasn't been perfect and last week our emotions were really all over the place trying to decide if we should stay together. I was much more interested in going after a serious relationship than her. We spent last night going over what happened and addressing the existing issues and why it led to her cheating. She currently claims that she didn't know that she would experience such pain and regret. She also says that after the weekend and conversations we were having over the weekend while apart that she wants to be with me and feels very strongly about that. My question to reddit is how do I go about starting to mend this? I feel awful that I was deceived and cheated on but the potential I feel for us if we were both committed to achieving a great relationship feel equally strong. Has anybody recovered from something like this to establish a strong relationship? What would you recommend the recovery process look like? Please don't tell me to just drop her, I realize that is a very viable option. | my girlfriend of 10 months spent a weekend drunkenly making out with another guy. Is there hope to recover? |
t3_cqme0 | AskReddit | What does Reddit think of BootCamp? | I'm a PC in the market for a 13-14 inch laptop, and so far I haven't quite found an ideal hardware config in a dedicated Windows box. If I go with (*cringe*) a MacBook Pro 13, is dual-booting with Windows 7 going to provide a 'good enough' Windows experience? I understand that I'll get the best battery performance by using OSX for most tasks, but my workplace necessitates that I use a virtual desktop client called VMware (which won't run on OSX.) In the virtual desktop I'll be doing heavy word processing. My main concern is the driver issues that seem to have plagued BootCamp in XP/Vista shortly after release. Does Apple regularly update drivers and address complaints?
Also, I'm more than a bit curious about Windows gaming performance over BootCamp. My expectations aren't sky-high, just wondering how a MacBook would perform in Windows compared to a similarly spec'd Windows notebook. | Is bootcamp a suitable Windows environment for a basic user? |
t3_1fiar0 | tifu | TIFU by driving home at 2AM | After telling my parents that I would come home the past few weekends, then ending up staying at college to catch up on work, I PROMISED them I would come home after my teammate and I finished our project this Friday. Little did I know that we would be working from 3:30pm-2am (with an hour break). After we were done, I left for home straight from the lab since it's only an hour and a half drive, and traffic wouldn't be bad. I chugged some old coffee I brought in a thermos and began my drive.
Halfway home, my hands and feet start getting numb and my stomach starts feeling weird... then I remembered that I hadn't eaten a real meal since 3 (since then I snacked on hamster food like carrots and granola but nothing of real substance). I start getting nauseous, but by then, I was only half an hour away from home and was about to get on a bridge.
Once I got on the bridge, I felt increasingly sick. I couldn't pull to the side without risking getting hit, but the waves of barf in my stomach needed to be released. No plastic bags near me, and no containers... except my coffee thermos. I quickly unscrew the cap just in time to spit up 16oz of bile. yuummm.
I felt much better after about two minutes of on and off vomiting, and I drove the rest of the way home with barf/snot in my nasal cavity, and smelling grosssss. | barfed in thermos while driving home. |
t3_kiu7v | relationship_advice | GF smokes (trying to quit), I don't..... | So when I was starting to get interested in seeing this girl she said she was stopping smoking and would quit and I wouldn't have to worry about it. I am not alergic to it I don't think but I have a very sensitive nose and the smell of that on clothes or on her breathe is very nausating to me.
We have been together for a little be longest than 6 months and besdies the smoking I really love her. She broke down crying to me a few months ago saying she was lying to me when I would ask her if she just smoked becasue I can almost always smell it on her breath or on her clothes. She would fake get mad at me when I asked and deny it which would make me feel horrible about asking her and being wrong (or so I thought).
Now she did it again and this time she says "whatever" and "I told you I can't do it". I offer her help like buy her the patches or gum or anything else. I have not got super angry about her having a hard time quitting but I have got mad about her lying to me about it.
Reddit, what should I do? I really, REALLY like her and want to stay with her but I can't take the smoking at all. | My GF has all but given up trying to quit 6 months into our relationship. Now I'm hooked on her but disgusted by the smoking. |
t3_1m1ion | relationships | I [25M] just broke up with my bipolar girlfriend [23F] and feel like a jerk | I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years, and it's been amazing - no fights, no quarrels, very compatible. At the beginning, she let me know that she was bipolar and taking medicine for it, and that was that… no symptoms or problems for it at all.
About a month ago she started having a breakdown, and got manic, even psychotic, throwing things, yelling, the whole nine yards. I had to call the police and get her to the hospital, we calmed her down and took her to her mom's house to stabilize and recover. Since then, she came back, was really rocky on-and-off, had another breakdown, went back to her mom's, and I had to break it off since I just couldn't handle it anymore.
I feel like such a jerk to leave someone in their time of need, and I feel like I've betrayed her, but I couldn't take another day of it. This last month I was panicked, I would jump every time the phone rang, I was scared of the night because that was usually when things would start escalating, I couldn't focus on my work at all (I'm a PhD student and overworked as it is).
At the core I know this is the healthiest decision for me, and I think it's the right one for her too… I think she needs a lot of time on her own to settle these things (there's a lot of baggage to work through) and she deserves a more supportive partner with more resources than I can provide right now. I still feel like the biggest asshole though, that I couldn't stick it out, and I also second-guess my decision a lot, since this was a dream of a relationship up until this last month. On my side, I feel like life's robbed me and I don't understand it, and on her side I feel like I've betrayed her and left my partner in her time of need. :-( | Had to leave my bipolar girlfriend, feel like an asshole for it, don't know how to figure out when enough's enough |
t3_33va0r | relationships | How do I(22/F) not let my SO's(22/M) behavior affect my self confidence? | We have been going out for 9 months and have had a wonderful relationship. He makes me laugh, he's there for me, we can talk for hours, and I can see myself with him a long ways down the road.
But the one thing I'm letting affect our relationship is my self confidence. He follows girls that look nothing like me on instagram. He browses them when we're cuddling together and he makes comments on how nice their bodies are. In addition, he makes jokes about girls we see in public. Saying how nice they look or how I don't have the same goods as them. Of course I know he is joking but I'm having a hard time not letting it get to my self confidence.
These girls all are tall, amazingly fit, with decent size boobs and nice butts. I'm on the other hand as thin and short and flat as they come. Usually I'm pretty confident with myself and think I'm at a healthy place physically. It seems like such a petty thing as I'm writing it now but it's the little things that chip away at my self confidence.
I've tried different things to get past this problem. I've acknowledged this problem is coming internally. I try turning away when he goes on instagram so I don't have to see the girls. I try telling myself that I am beautiful and my body is pretty great. I started lifting weights so I can look more loke the girls. I tried telling him how I feel about this.
But no matter what I do, it doesn't seem like it's working. My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful and my body is perfect. I try so hard to believe it. I really want to believe it. But I just can't when the next thing he does after telling me that is go back to browsing through the pictures of girls.
I feel like my self confidence issue is eating away not only at me but also our relationship. How do I get over this issue? What are some ways to become more confident in myself? I just want to be a more confident person. | my boyfriend has a different preference for body types than mine when he is on the internet. I want to know how to be more confident in myself so I can let this stop affecting our relationship. |
t3_3t6f04 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] of 10 months, are having problems. | We've been dating for 10 months now but known each other and been freinds for a few years now. She told me yesterday that because im in college that she is having doubts if our relationship is even worth it. She says she is lonely and flat out told me that she is having feelings for this other guy but she says she still loves me and doesnt know what to do. She has built her walls so high because she is afraid of being really hurt again. She has always been the one to say that you date someone not for fun but to see if you can spend the rest of your life with them. She has told me she can see us spending the rest of our life together, but she is so confused right now and afraid. I can see she is scared and has started pushing away from the future and me. I love her, ive never felt this way about anyone else, and she says she loves me and i know she does, i've seen it in her eyes. Yesterday she put us on a break so that she can think. We arn't allowed to kiss, hold hands, say i love you, but we are allowed to continue being good friends and skype and text and occasionally a hug while she figures stuff out. | Any advice on how to handle this...? I don't want to loose her. |
t3_2xrf3h | relationships | Super, super embarrassing but [18 F] never been kissed. Afraid I'll be super bad at it when it happens. | So I'm recently 18 and have never been kissed. I consider myself a little above average in the looks department, not model status but not 'eh'-looking either. I think the reason for the dilemma is because I was always super shy in my early/tween years and overly mature after. I honestly think I have a great personality, so I hope that has nothing to do with it.
Basically, I've been talking to this guy who's 21. He's had a few relationships so far, and I think he actually likes me. I'm honestly just so freaked out if things evolve - esp. kissing. I'm so scared that I'm going to suck at it (hahaha, no pun intended) and ruin everything.
I know this is probably a silly question to most of you, but this is a general concern of mine that I'm worried about. | 18 F who's super scared she'll suck at kissing when it happens. |
t3_2qiv2x | tifu | TIFU by having a party | TIFU
So this is literally happening as we speak. My dad is a corporate pilot and I'm a twenty one year guy. For Christmas I got both Cards Against Humanity and something called The Perfect Drink. The Perfect Drink is basically a scale and an app that helps you create the perfect cocktail. It weighs how much liquid you have added and tells you when the drink is good. So naturally tonight I invited all my friends over to test it and play cards against humanity and poker. The only problem is that my dad needs to wake up early to fly to Mexico; eventually he concedes that we can still have our party in the garage as long as we're quiet. So we drink, play the game, and even mix in a few rounds of poker and everything is good. Almost everyone leaves or goes to bed except my girlfriend and I. We go up to my room super quietly (so my dad won't wake up) and I'm balls deep in my girlfriend when someone begins pounding on the door. It's my dad. He's pissed. Turns out when I sent (party guest1) in to get the iPad charger to charge The Perfect Drink she unplugged my dad's iPad. Unfortunately my dad needs his iPad to fly because it has navigation apps on there.
So now my dad is pissed because on top of an already stressful trip to Mexico, he's going in iPad-less and furious at yours truly. | great party, unfortunate charging circumstance. |
t3_ce33b | AskReddit | Could Obama sue Fox News for defamation of character or libel? | I was watching the [mediamatters video] which shows fox news members lying saying bp donated 750 million dollars to Obama's political campaign and was curious if Obama could viably sue for defamation of character or libel.
According to one of the top results when googling defamation, it means:
Typically, the elements of a cause of action for defamation include:
1. A false and defamatory statement concerning another;
2. The unprivileged publication of the statement to a third party (that is, somebody other than the person defamed by the statement);
3. If the defamatory matter is of public concern, fault amounting at least to negligence on the part of the publisher; and
4. Damage to the plaintiff.
So it's quickly proven false simply by common sense, or googling Obama campaign contributions. It is published to the public. It's clearly something that is relevant to the entire public. And it's damaging to Obama because it's tying him to a cause that is associated with negative implications right now.
This is just one case and I'm sure there's millions of others. So could he ever do such a thing? | Fox lies about Obama all the time. Could he stick it to the man with a law suit? |
t3_142lq4 | relationships | Is it a terrible idea if I [19f] get back together with [23m]? | I (19f) went out with my ex (23m) for four years, we split up a couple of months ago, as our relationship was going through a rough patch. But I still love him and really do want him back, and he says he would like me back.
But there is a problem, he is a drug addict, so my parents really hate him, and I know they would be horrified if we got back together.
It's making me quite miserable not being with him, but I really don't want to disappoint my parents, and I can't decide what matters to me more. | I would like my ex back, but my parents hate him, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_44tu75 | relationships | After much thought, I [M23] have decided to permanently give up on dating and live an isolated lifestyle. Where do I go from here? | After arriving at the conclusion that I am terrible at dating, I have decided to quit.
There are many reasons behind this, mainly revolving around my lack of success with online dating. Consistently, it has failed me, and I can no longer deal with things not working out.
Similarly, I don't believe that things 'just happen,' and in the instance that I were to meet a woman IRL who appeared interested in me, I would feel too offended to try dating her.
"Offended," you might wonder? Yes, since it would suddenly happen when I am not looking for it. I don't approve of that, and would have no other choice than to decline it.
So...what to do from here? Perhaps build hobbies. Maybe some of you are in a similar position to me? | Giving up on dating, need to build a healthy perma-bachelor lifestyle. |
t3_fxfna | AskReddit | My circuits professor just admitted that she marks Asian students a lot harder than other students. I'm Chinese, what the hell do I about this? | She said this in a lecture that took place after the midterm yesterday. Around 80% of the class didn't show up and she made an off-hand remark along the lines of "I guess all of these asians didn't show up again. And that's why I mark them a lot harder."
People were a little taken aback and someone said "Are you serious?". She explained that it was her way of normalizing the scores since, in her opinion, the Asian students scored much too higher than anyone else if everyone was marked the same. The worst part is some people in the class cheered at the statement while others looked discomforted by what she said.
This professor is an ass and not the kind to joke so now I'm furious and scared about my grade in this course. I asked people to come with me to talk to the department about this, but they were too scared to come and now I have no support. This is so wrong but I have no way of outing this professor for being racist and unjust. What do I do? | My professor admitted she marks asian students a lot harder to normalize scores. |
t3_qpqro | needadvice | Am I over thinking the situation? | My friend and I would talk every once in a while, I'd say once a week is about the average (through texting). A couple of weeks ago we chatted through text and everything was fine. A couple of days later I texted her "hi" and she read my text (we both have iPhones so I can see when she read my text) but she never replied. I shrugged it off as her being busy on a saturday evening. I didn't contact her for about two weeks (we only usually talk if I initiate the conversation with her) I texted her yesterday against just saying "hi" as a way to start the conversation, she read my text but again never responded back.
I think I'm just over-thinking this because she's probably just busy and what not, but after not talking to her for two weeks and the last two times I've texted her she's never responded kinda makes me feel bad in the sense she doesn't want to talk to me or be my friend any more..
Should I text her again in a couple of days with just a hey and see if she responds or should I ask her if she still wants to be friends? I kind of want to ask but I feel im just over-thinking and it'd make things worst. I've known her for about a year now. | Friend I've known for a year hasn't responded back to both my texts over the past two weeks and I feel like I'm just overreacting or over-thinking she doesn't want to be my friend.. |
t3_4h53zu | relationships | Is PTSD possible from a bad break up? | Me: 22, F
Ex: 21, M
Relationship Ended 2 years ago
So the story goes as such, in my freshman year of college I fell head over heels right into an unhealthy relationship with my first boyfriend. A year and a half later during spring semester, we break up in the ugliest ways and this breaking up process spanned roughly 4 months. All in all, it was one of the roughest times in my life so far. I lost weight I already didn't really have, drank too much, failed my finals, lost all of my friends but two, forced myself to sleep so I wouldn't have to think.. This list could keep going.
Here I am now, 2 years post break-up and I'm wondering if what I feel could be a result of that break up? I'm currently in another relationship with a boy who treats me as humans should be treated; I'm happy. However, I'm anxious. I have a general unwell feeling and perhaps you could label it as paranoia that I worry my world could fall from under my feet again at any given second and I would be left exactly in the same situation as two years ago. Very alone and very sad.
I felt these same emotions of uneasiness last spring. I thought maybe it was just stress from finals being around the corner among other problems at the time, but now that it has happened again this spring, I am wondering if it could be PTSD perhaps? Any insight would be great while I sit here and try to study for my finals but my stomach's queasy and I'm paranoid af for an entire month. | 2 years ago during the spring there was a majorly prolonged and bad break up from a first-time relationship that lasted 1.5 years. Now, every subsequent spring I've felt stress, anxiety, and general uneasiness usually lasting from April to end of May. This was when the break up process was at its worst. Why do I feel like this?? |
t3_ndv09 | dating_advice | I need advice on dating a girl with Rheumatoid arthritis. | ###My Background###
I am twenty years old I live on my own. I am currently working as a draftsman to save up money for school. I am a very open-minded individual that often feels drawn to help others with their issues. My last relationship I was cheated on and haven't even gone on a date in over a year.
###Our relationship###
I had met this girl(23) about two months ago in a very seemingly odd way over the internet. She is going to school to get her certification to work on Airplanes and lives with her parents. When we first started to get to know each other, she told me about her condition and asked me if I was judgmental. Having quite a few issues of my own, and knowing well of the dangers of autoimmune diseases (My dad has MS), I told her it didn't bother me at all because it didn't. We seem to share many of the same thoughts and experiences and things look very promising. I realized at that moment that I was going to need advice over the issue.
###Her Condition###
She apparently used to run cross country and work as a mechanic while doctors were puzzled over her condition. This badly damaged her joints to where she has to take pain medication often, but can still function normally. She was officially diagnosed with RA a year ago. It already affects her ability to work and might even prevent her from pursuing what she loves ( working on airplanes ). She takes many different kinds of medicine to treat it although she has told me that it makes her miserable. She has told me she is taking a mild chemo to help treat it
###My Questions###
How can I be supportive towards her? What flare up symptoms should I look out for and how can I help her with it? How should I approach intimacy and sex? What should I say and do to make her feel as comfortable as possible? Any advice is appreciated. | I a male of 20 need advice on dating a girl of 23 with Rheumatoid Arthritis |
t3_1gmsfg | relationships | Me[19 F] with my bf [18M] 4months can't trust my boyfriend | So my boyfriend came to visit me a few weekends ago. While he was taking a shower, I picked up his phone because he's always told me that he doesn't have a problem with me looking at his phone since he has nothing to hide. I notice a conversation with his ex gf, so naturally I get curious. Starts out normal chit chat and then suddenly she asks him if he still cares about her. He says, "You know I'll always have a soft spot for you or else I wouldn't have hooked up with you while I was with (insert my name here). And saved your nudes"
Separate occasion I look at his phone a week later. Look through his email. I find nudes from a *different* girlfriend. I ask him why he has them. He says he asked her for them. These were dated May 11, so this was before the text conversation with the *other* ex gf happened.
Someone please tell me what the hell to do. I can't trust him, but I want to give him a second (third *cough*) chance. | Boyfriend cheated on me emotionally/possibly physically with two separate ex girlfriends with nudes and text convos |
t3_20yq9m | needadvice | Life Advice | My (21 F) fiancé (22 M) and I want to move to Austin Texas from Vancouver, WA. However, we are having a hard time deciding when. I want to finish up my Associates and I just need to get past this next quarter, then I just need to take 20 credits I can do online and I will be done.
I also want to wait until our marriage in May. However, he gets spurts of depression of being stuck in a rut. I work at a terrible childcare facility, but want to go into hospitality, where my last job was at. He works at a fabrication place as general maintenance and loves it, but has little room for promotion/pay raises.
A part of me wants to just leave now to enjoy the sun and have a happy fiancé again, but a part of me is very scared.
We live rent free with his dad so saving up money will not be too hard. I am just scared to go someplace without a safety net.
I guess I have no question in general, just wanting to hear sound advice and thoughts. | I need advice/thoughts on when is a good time to move vs rushing things. How is our life going? I just don't want him to feel stuck. |
t3_1la3ro | dating_advice | Guitar playing girl who I flirt with is playing guitar at a bar, to go alone or not to go? | So this girl works at a coffee shop near where I live, and every time I go in is completely flirting with me, and I reciprocate, without going too far or being inappropriate. I've noticed she sings at a bar on the patio every week, and will be tonight. She has invited me down there to check it out and I would like to ask her out there, vs while she's working, which I feel a bit shady doing.
The issue is that none of my friends really go out during the week, and I don't have anyone to go with. So basically I'll be sitting there listening, potentailly looking creepy doing so alone. I am capable of chatting up other people, but being clearly by myself may look weird. If you have any advice about how I should conduct myself, or just wait to have a friend join me one week, or just ask her out at work instead. Thank you! | Girl who flirts with me at the coffee shop she works at plays guitar at a bar once a week. No friends are able to join me to go see her, where I'd like to ask her out. Creepy or confident to go down and see her? |
t3_3ju6wm | relationship_advice | Planning on breaking up, should I help her move out? | I'm (22M) planning on breaking up with my (22F) girlfriend of 6 years. But she lives with me and my sibling in a condo that my parents own so she would have to be the one to leave. Her mom lives only a 5 minute drive away so she could easily move in with her but she isn't very well off and only has an suv. I on the other hand have a truck and could easily move her larger items such as the dresser. None of her other friends have trucks because they are all from the city and don't need them. I just don't want her to have to waste money on a moving truck to move her few large items. Should I offer to help her move out of all that he to awkward? When I break up with her it will most likely not go down to smoothly as we've been together so long. | she lives with me in a place my parents own and can't really afford to pay to move, I have a truck though, should I help? |
t3_2as5sc | relationships | I [19/F] drove my now ex-boyfriend [21/M] away by "suffocating" him too much. Help? | My ex and I were together for over a year. He's in the Army, so it's been very long distance for a very long time. We had been SO happy. We were planning our engagement, marriage, and had everything figured out. We are perfect for each other. We were happy, until Friday. I had a day where I got overly insecure, and overreacted to a lot of things. He said that this was "the straw that broke the camel's back" and ended up breaking up with me. He is going on leave, and was supposed to come pick me up today. We planned on staying in a hotel, all of our dates, everything. But now, everything is thrown away. I *know* that he is the one for me, and I need to get him back. Any advice? | I got overly insecure one day, and drove my soulmate away. What can I do to get him to come back? |
t3_2hy2to | relationships | Me [24 M] falling hard for [24 F] who is leaving in a couple months. | I'm falling for this girl I met two weeks ago. We have started dating. I've never been in love and few of my relationships have lasted past a month. I can't get this one out of my mind.
She seems very into me but scared to show it. I get it. Two weeks is ridiculous. But on top of that she's moving for her career at the end of the year.
We've talked about me moving with her, but every once in awhile, she seems to freak out about how fast we're moving. I feel like if we got the chance we could make a mature decision about me coming with her at the end of the year after we've been together a little longer, but I'm worried she's not going to give me that chance. | I'm worried the girl is going to panic and dump me before we get a chance to figure out what we are to each other. |
t3_nty3f | AskReddit | Reddit I need car crash Insurance advice | Just your usual throwaway asking a question on behalf of a friend. Not I/they are not looking for any moral judgement just some advice/answers.
My friend got in a car accident, rear ending another car, doing no damage to that car or the people in there and doing a fair bit of damage to their own car. The people in the car he hit did not want to call the police or get insurance involved or anything since their car was fine.
My friend who is 18 told his parents the car got hit in a hit and run in a parking lot, as they did not have fully comprehensive insurance would only be covered in such a circumstance. My friend is worried the insurance company will try to look at the security footage to determine if his story is indeed true. Question is will the insurance company go as far as to do that? | Friend lied to insurance saying got hit in a hit and run in a parking lot..will the insurance company go as far as to check the cameras in the parking lot? |
t3_12zeb9 | relationships | Me (F22) and boyfriend (24) stuck in a rut. Should I break up with him or wait it out? | Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. We are each others 'firsts' and we have both never been with anyone else.
I have lived on my own since I was 18, he still lives with his mum and has no plans AT ALL to move out or is even thinking about it. Every time I bring it up in turns into an argument.
He has been self employed for 4 years and has next to no income.
He does his hobbies on a weekend and I usually spend weekends on my own or with my family (i only have a couple of friends who don't live close or work on weekends) but I see him every night after work and he stays over on Friday & saturday nights.
He is my best friend and has been since the moment we met, I love him more than anything and I can't imagine life without him, but I've recently been doubting everything about our relationship, I don't want to be stuck in a rut for the next 10 years still hoping he might change. I don't want waste my time waiting for him till all of a sudden I'm 35 and I've done nothing.
I just needed an outside opinion and where else but reddit! | first loves stuck in a rut, love him dearly but is it worth waiting for him? |
t3_ihslw | AskReddit | A question to all the professional programmers | I am a second year computer science major at Boston College and I am unsure what I need to learn to get a job in any programming field. I feel like by the time I graduate I won't have half the experience I need to grab a job in a field.
Are most jobs you get the type where you need some background knowledge, or at least intelligence, and you learn on the job? Or do you need to know practically everything in that area first?
I also want to know whats a good language to know for pretty much any programming job. Right now my programming experience is Java, MIPS (assembly language), C, and I learned Flash's Actionscript on my own.
By the time my education wraps up I'll know more about algorithms, security, datamining, and operating systems. I also took two logic courses designed for CS and Discrete Mathematics.
Will this prepare me for a generic job? What kind of internship can I expect with what I know? I know the stuff you need to know for jobs varies a lot depending on what you do, but what are good examples of a job one could get right out of college?
Thanks in advance for the help! | What's a good language to know for any generic job? Do you learn on the job, or should you have a lot of experience when applying? What's an example of a lower-level computer science job? |
t3_3d6mq7 | relationship_advice | My [f24] friend [m25] depends so heavily on me and I cant bear it any more. Am I being selfish? | Hi. Throwaway just because.
I've been friends with this guy for about 5 years or so. We became close when he helped me through a pretty traumatic time. We live a few hours apart now and see each for a day every few months. But we talk every day. Or should I say he talks. He's struggling quite a bit with a few things - loneliness, lack of self esteem. I have my own struggles but am generally much happier in life than I used to be. However he's really bringing me down and I feel horrible for thinking that.
He'll send messages prefaced with things like, be nice to me today I'm having self esteem issues, as if I'm responsible for his happiness. If a girl has rejected him he'll send messages saying he'll have nothing to live for if that happens again. I've tried to help him by encouraging him to find other friends, but he has particularly high standards and is always talking condescendingly about anyone else he meets (basically if they drink they're below him, for example). He flies off the handle really easily when I don't appear to care enough about our friendship and makes me feel guilty for not constantly being available (eg. oh you're always too busy for me now).
Everyone else who is aware of him thinks he's in love with me. I'm not so sure, but I do think he relies on me for far too much. It's been an issue in every relationship I've had since I've known him, as he's constantly messaging and has elements of jealously (mostly due to the fact that I can get relationships and he can't - which he is always reminding me of). I feel guilty that he has no other friends but I'm not sure I can deal with the pressure of his entire self esteem basically resting on me. Whenever someone asks me why we're still friends, it's genuinely because I worry what he'd do if I disappeared and I couldn't have that resting on my conscience. | friend relies on me for constant validation and support and makes me feel guilty for having a life. Not sure I can bear much more. Am I selfish? What can I do? |
t3_4ijs7n | relationships | [20 M] Approached Me And Later Denies Knowing Me [20 F] Am I Going Crazy? | This cute guy who I've had classes with approached me a while back - he talked to me a bit, then got shy and ran away.we then proceeded to friend each other on FB. Few days later, I decided to shoot him a friendly message asking him about class. He replied with, "No, I'm not in your class, Honestly i don't know you either, you must have been thinking of someone else."
At first I thought I genuinely *did* make a mistake, and responded immediately by unfriending and saying, "Oh aha, you're right! Sorry about the mix-up!" But I was looking through his pics, and I'm *pretty damn sure it was him*! Then I checked my class roster, and...he wasn't on there! So he really *wasn't* in my class!* And it's true that we don't *really* know one another...I'm not totally devastated or anything about him not liking me, but I'm just wondering if I'm going crazy, or if he's been low-key stalking me a whole semester? (He'd been sitting in that class a whole semester, participating and asking questions, and would often sit around me in the library) Any opinions? | This guy who I've had a class with before was in my class this semester, and approached me, but then denied knowing me, turns out he's not even in the class! Kind of weirded out/confused. |
t3_o2ndu | AskReddit | to go or not to go | So I've been traveling the world for a long period of time.
I met a girl in the states that well... is different from every girl I've met around this world.
A few things
A. She's single (yea I've had my share of the other guy)
B. She is not a lesbian (I went all kevin smith for a few years)
C. She is into me
D. She is beautiful (and not just one of those eye of the beholder beautifuls)
E. We have the same interest but enough differences to keep things interesting. (the fact she mentioned to me living on a sail boat before I even had to have the talk with her....)
Any way... After reading the "romantic things" thread... I started thinking. I really want to get back to this woman... I'm broke (like bank account has almost hit zero.. but hey challenge points) and I'm in the midst of one of those life changing journeys.
I have my Aussie work visa and enough money to get from Singapore to the outback... (I think) or I can use the credit card and go back to the states. (that piece of plastic is what makes me different from the average homeless person.. that and my camera gear)
I am stuck on the finishing this journey or going back to the states and starting another journey. I told myself years ago that me moving for a girl is a bad idea... or staying anywhere for a girl is one too... but again (see list above) this is a bit different. Like it is one of those "this will last a while" stamps on it. | should I move back to the states for a girl? |
t3_gnwzt | self | Just because I don't drink or smoke does not make me straight edge. Srsly. | It's LOL worthy every time someone accuses me of that. I don't drink. I've tried it, been drunk a few times, but I just don't care for it. I'm not going to waste my money on something that I don't give two shits about. Same thing for smoking. Tried it a few times, been high, don't like it. I'd rather save my money for something I really care about. Like a new video game, a dress, a new part for my bike, or a road trip.
It does kind of sting when I'm not invited to some sort of get together because I don't do these things. I *like* you people. I don't care what you do, as long as you do it safely. | Maaaan, I don't need your social lubrication or your reality dampeners. I've got my imagination and the haze of half-sleep for that. Derp. |
t3_2fmguf | tifu | TIFU by asking my girlfriend's best friend out on a date with intentions to fuck her | so i been w/ my gf (who is a 9/10) for 6 years and hit a major opening with one of her (8/10) best friends this summer. hot tub. mixed drinks , etc. we never closed but i always thought there was an opening to be exploited. exactly a year ago this evening i was laid off by a fortune 500 company that rhymes with horizon and decided to celebrate my one year liberation with debauchery. my gf works nights and i text her bf with the intentions to wine her dine her and hopefully 69 her. all the signals were wrong after i confessed my sexual appetite for her and now i risk losing my 6 year relationship over her friend that i needed closure over. FML | hit on my gf bff. didnt work. pretty fucked when my gf finds out. |
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