id
stringlengths 8
9
| subreddit
stringclasses 29
values | title
stringlengths 1
300
| post
stringlengths 1
2.51k
| summary
stringlengths 0
1.79k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|
t3_2amax7 | loseit | First sign of progress! | Hey there, r/loseit! I seemed to have missed day one, because I just found you today, but today is the first day I've weighed myself since starting my diet.
I've always been chubby, but within this past year, due to stress, laziness, and basically lack of caring, I gained a LOT of weight. On Monday (7/7/14), I finally had had enough. I noticed I was getting so gross, I didn't want to look in the mirror or have sex with my boyfriend, facing him, anymore.
I decided to begin a *loose* keto diet to get down to a healthy weight.
On Wednesday (7/9/14) I went for a checkup with my doctor. I weighed in at 246lbs, at 5'4", with a BMI of 41.1. **I am morbidly fucking obese.** That felt really bad, but it only solidified my decision to do this diet and get it under control.
I went out and bought a scale today, sunday (7/13/14), deciding to do weigh ins every few days, to keep me motivated and on point, no matter the outcome.
I weighed in today at 238lbs. This puts my BMI at 39.6. *I dropped 6lbs and almost an entire BMI point in four days of eating healthy.*
I must have been eating pretty horribly to see such a quick result, and this diet contains a LOT of soups and water. | I'm doing it! Finally! |
t3_4r9y0d | relationships | My husband (39M) is a workaholic and neglecting me (33F). How to handle this? | I work a lot already: a professional full-time job plus an occasional part-time gig. I also do volunteer work, have a hobby outside the house, and go to work or social functions regularly with and without him. I am also writing my PhD dissertation. In short, I am the busiest person most people know who does not have kids.
Meanwhile my husband wakes up at 5 and goes to work and comes home at 8pm. He tries to work 10+ hours every day and this is normal in his field. We sleep in separate rooms so I don't also have to wake up at 5am. We set aside one weekend day to spend together but I don't feel this is enough or frequent enough. He knows I have a problem with this schedule but I also know he resents the restrictiveness of this schedule (i.e., he feels pressure to be home at 8pm). I also think he'd eventually resent me if I asked him to go in later or come home earlier. I know that he has a lot of work and that scientific work is sometimes unpredictable. However after a year of this, I feel very neglected and ignored. I now understand the 'bored housewife' trope even though I am neither! I worry that I will begin to seek out other companionship. No, he is not cheating; he is definitely working the entire day. | my husband and I both work long hours and have fulfilling hobbies and enough alone time, but he feels restricted and I feel neglected. |
t3_27kzhh | relationships | I [29 F] love being with my boyfriend [29 M] but I'm catching feelings for my best guy friend [30 M]. | I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Currently we are long distance and I won't see him for another 2 months. I've only been in love with one person and I know he's the one for me. He's so funny and caring and smart, we have a lot of common interests, and he's exactly my type. I'd never do anything to risk our relationship.
Recently though, I've been catching feelings for my best guy friend. I work with this guy so I see him every day. A couple days ago, we went out for drinks and went swimming. This isn't really out of the ordinary for us, but this time I found myself fantasizing about him. Last night in my dream, we started to have sex and then I started crying, saying "I can't, I still love my boyfriend."
I've never crossed the line with him and we aren't touchy-feely at all. I know he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, so this is all in my head, but I still feel guilty for thinking these things.I know a lot of people are going to tell me to stop hanging out with him, but it's hard. I don't have a lot of friends here and I feel lonely without him. I see him all the time at work, too.
Maybe I am just missing my boyfriend and physical touch in general. I'm not even attracted to this guy -- he's not unattractive, just not my type. Even personality wise, he's not someone I want to date. But he is a really nice, funny guy and I like being his friend. Anyway, I need some advice on how to block out these intrusive thoughts. | I am in a loving, long term relationship, but I'm starting to fantasize about my guy friend. I don't want to date him and I'm sure he doesn't want to date me. I just want to stop crushing on him. |
t3_oehtd | AskReddit | Reddit I need some help with getting my bosses to understand SOPA/PIPA. | I work for a fortune 500 company that is mainly internet based. I brought up the SOPA/PIPA acts to my boss who is pretty high up in the company and he didn't know what it was. I feel like my own understanding of these acts are limited enough that I can't explain it well enough. I was wondering if you could give me links to what you feel are some of the best articles to get the point across. He basically wants me to find information and articles online and post them to our companies internal wiki page. So that different people within the company will have access to start getting an understanding of what possible ways this could effect the company. I would really appreciate some different articles and also your own understanding to relay to the higher ups in the company. I don't know if this will help in the fight against these acts, but I feel it sure as hell couldn't hurt. | I need articles and information to relay to my boss so the fortune 500 company I work for can start to understand SOPA/PIPA and possibly join the fight against them. |
t3_1rmofo | relationship_advice | [29/f] here and the girl I'm seeing [26/f] may be a little off. Says she believes in fairies? Need advice on how to deal ... | Hello, r/relationship_advice! I have a bit of a Darma and Greg (or whatever the female version of Greg would be) situation here.
I (29/f) been seeing this girl (26/f) for about three or four weeks. I enjoy spending time with her. We're both well educated professionals - have good conversation and feel comfortable with each other. We had a great, easy discussion about enjoying getting to know one another and taking it slow.
Initially, my only hesitation is that I am extremely left brained and a little type A - while she seems to be a bit scatter brained and has more than a drop of hippy in her personality. But opposites can attract and be healthy for one another - so, rather than cut and run (my normal MO, which I'm trying to get away from), I decided to stick it out.
This afternoon, she drops this on me - "I believe in fairies. Do you? Because they're real." ... Of course, I laughed hysterically and said, 'oh sure. I see plenty of them every year at gay pride.' But, she was serious. She went in depth about woodland spirits, birth charts, tarot cards, and paganism. I didn't humor her - I flat out told her that they are not real, and explained my position as an agnostic and a realistic adult.
The difference didn't seem to bother her - she said, "Well, left brain, opposites attract! But you'll see, they do exist."
I don't know if this is something I should cut and run from (it is in my nature, after all) or if I should discuss this with her and wait and see? | Things have been going well during our three to four weeks of dating; we're compatible in a lot of ways and on the same page. Today, she tells me she believes in fairies and pagan stuff and I'm fairly realistic/agnostic (do not believe in things that are not real) and not sure how I should approach the rest of the relationship. She's thinking of getting serious and I need some advice on how to talk to her about it it being a deal breaker for me -- OR some help doing some soul searching on whether or not I can look past this. |
t3_3ic5mi | tifu | TIFU by posting photos of our new born daughter to my Dad (which included close-ups of my wife's reproductive system) | Actually this was a couple of years ago, but the day after my first child was born I just copied the entire folder of pics that I had taken at the hospital and home, plus a few videos, onto a blank CD and posted it to my father who lives interstate and is not on the internet.
The next day when the emotions had subsided and I was thinking clearer, I sat down to do some photo-editing and realised that included with the cute grandkid pics on the disk I sent Dad were a few very graphic photos of my wife giving birth and a very noisy video of the actual delivery.
I don't know who would have been more shocked. My old man when he saw them, or my wife when I told her what I accidentally did. | Accidentally sent my dad pics of my wife's vagina with a baby's head coming out. |
t3_41q30x | personalfinance | Income Based Student Loan Repayment + Marriage = ??? | Hi PF!
I've been doing some digging but having trouble finding solid sources. Any advice/sources/experiences would be greatly appreciated!
My partner has significant student debt, but with the way things currently stand she qualifies for [Public Service Forgiveness] - essentially after 10 years of qualifying (read: employed) payments, the balance of the debt is forgiven. Because of this, she's been paying the minimum monthly payments.
The curve ball: We're getting married this year, and the monthly payments are income based. We're trying to get a long-term budget going, but all of a sudden are not sure what these payments are going to go up to (if they go up) once we're married. Does anyone have any insight into this? If we still filed taxes separately, would that mean that her income 'stays the same' vs if we filed taxes together and her income 'doubled'? Any advice is appreciated. We're not even sure if we need to talk to a tax specialist or a loan specialist about this. | What happens to income-based loan payments when you're married? What's the best way to keep them low? |
t3_15hioc | relationships | I M[24] have just started a relationship with F[32] who has been in a previous marriage with kids. Is there anything I should know, expect, or be asking? | We started out as pretty good friends and then slowly progressed into a relationship. A few things about her, she was married at an early age and wasn't emotionally involved (she was pregnant and urged by family and her church community to marry her bf). She has been single for several years now and very careful about who she dates. She will be finishing up school and teaching full time soon. I work a full time job with salary. She has her kids every other week and we have set boundaries as follows, while they know of me, our relationship for now is exclusively her and I (when we have time) until she knows me enough to bring me into her family life in which case we will basically start over and see how well that works. I want to take things as slow as possible. We have been together for about a month and a half now and things have been going very well aside from some minor bumps which I don't know how to approach.
* Her parents do not approve of the age difference and think she is robbing me of a "normal relationship". She is beginning to form a disconnect from them because of it.
* I have yet to talk to my parents about it and I don't exactly know how to bring it up but it's something I need to discuss with them. (They are strict Catholic with a very... 1950's view of how relationships should be)
* I really enjoy being with her and I'd like to know from other people with experience regarding: our age difference, children from previous relationships, and parents who disagree with relationships.
Her and I aren't running for the altar or anything serious at all rather we are slowly feeling the situation out and seeing where it goes. I want to handle this situation as responsibly and maturely as possible because I know there are a lot of emotions (hers, her children, extended family, mine) that could be potentially hurt. | In a relationship with someone older with children from a previous relationship. What should I be thinking about and how do I handle disagreeing parents (on both sides potentially), what boundaries need to be set, and anything else I should know about the relationship in general. |
t3_x9tv1 | AskReddit | Reddit, tipping a waiter/waitress seems to have become a social norm rationalized by moral values. If you know for a fact a waiter/waitress is earning a very respectable salary, do you still tip? | I thought about this on my recent vacation to an all-inclusive resort in another country, we are used to hearing that waiters/waitresses earn $3 on the hour so we feel obliged to tip but I suspect that in environments such as an all-inclusive resort, where tipping is not as frequent (since you would usually leave your money in the safe), they get paid a living wage but we still tip for usually mediocre service.
But, in my perhaps naive opinion (having never been a waiter), it seems asinine that as a society we allow anyone to have to live off the moral generosity of others and never question it. In fact sometimes we go out, receive awful service, and still give at least 15% tip because of the moral obligation.
So do you still tip in that situation for average service? | See title! |
t3_have3 | AskReddit | I'm through with being lonely and boring. What should I do Reddit? | I've been wallowing around in my self pity for too long. Every weekend I sit at home watch movies, play video games, and wish that my life was more interesting. I've finally reached the point where I want to do something about it. Only one problem, I have no clue how the fuck to fix it.
I'm 22 years old and I only have a few friends. They are as boring or more boring than me. I don't really know how to make any new friends though. I don't have any hobbies to speak of. I've tried being friends with the folks at my school. But it seems most folks in community colleges aren't looking for new friends.
I'm kind of the stereotypical redditor. I don't have a girlfriend. I'd like one but I don't know where to find one. I've tried the bar scene, but the only girls that go to those are girls from the four year universities. They don't want anything to do with a guy that works full-time and goes to a community college.
So what's your advice Reddit? | I'm a lonely fucker that needs a change. |
t3_2uarit | relationships | I'm [17 M] starting to feel attracted to a [17 F] who I've become friends with in the last few months, but is worried my recently diagnosed depression/anxiety is going to get in the way. | Hello there, I'm searching for some advice and this looked like the place for it!
So as the title says, I've become close to a really pretty and funny girl whose is now in a lots of my free periods in Sixth Form, and she is also really good friends with some of my current friends too so there's no clash there - we were both bowling last night. I never noticed her last year but now I'm always looking forward to the next time I get to see her, and the feeling is at least partially mutual. We seem to have a lot more in common then we first realised.
I'm considering trying to nudge our relationship in the bf/gf direction but I've never gone out with anyone or anything but then I've never felt so chilled around a girl before.
That's not the real issue, the real issue is that I've been diagnosed with anxiety/depression a week or so ago (which she knows about) and I'm concerned my low mood and self hatred is going to get in the way of our friendship, let alone being anything more. I'm on antidepressants which will take at least another week to kick in, and I will hopefully start seeing a psychologist soon. I guess what I'm asking is whether I should try to get closer to her or wait until my own messed up head is sorted. (No idea how long that would take 'cause I'm in a fucking low place ATM and I hate being negative or for other people to see me in a bad mood).
Any advice of any kind or anyone that can relate would be massively appreciated. | Depression might get in the way of a possible relationship with a girl I'm really attracted to, should I wait it out for an unknown amount of time until 'it gets better'or just try to ignore my low mood? |
t3_uyf9s | AskReddit | When my friend pretended to pull a knife on me, he tripped and a butter knife punctured my lung. Reddit, what's your most embarrassing injury? | When I was about eight years old, my friends and I had a very Huckleberry Finn-style gang of thieves group going on. One day, we were playing after school, and one of my friends revealed a butter knife that he had taken from his mother's silver drawer. He pretended to pull it on me, and screamed "put your hands up!" I took a step back, due to initial shock value, and when he took a step forward, he tripped over a rock, and the butter knife went through my ribs and nicked my left lung. I went to the hospital with a very funny story to tell. | Friend pretends to pull a knife on me, ends up sending a butterknife through my lung. |
t3_4qb381 | loseit | Any advice on eating throughout the day despite never being hungry?(details inside) | Hey there! New to posting here, though I've lurked for a while. I realize this title might lead to the wrogn thoughts, so I'll start by saying I just have a bad habit of not eating. I'm not doing it intentionally, I've seen a doctor, it's not anything ED related.
That said, it is impacting my journey to weight loss and health, I'm pretty sure. I've heard that your body stores food if it feels it's not getting enough, and I have a feeling my problems start with this bad habit.
I'll use an example from today. I've eaten a handfull of bran cereal, which is filling but not a full day's worth of filling. However typically I'll go until dinner time before my next meal. Not on purpuse, it's just that the handfull of cereal plus a glass of water/coffee/etc fills me up fully. I then don't think about the fact that I might be hungry until another person is nearby and they mention food.
Does anyone have any advice on making myself eat regularly? A handfull of cereal is at best around 200 calories (judging by the box), and at worse far less if I don't eat a decent sized handfull. My dinners aren't ever huge, they're healthy portion sizes, but I can't imagine they have enough calories to put me in a healthy range. Alternatively, if it's not actually bad to go so long without food, is there a way to work in better quality foods in those times I am hungry to make it less unhealthy? Is the whole "you won't lose weight if you don't get enough calories" thing truth or myth? | I'm never hungry, don't get a lot of calories in due to this. Any way to teach myself to eat consistently? Alternatively, any better meal options to make the most of the rare times a day I do eat? |
t3_2uqy6r | AskDocs | Intestinal pain every time I eat or drink anything | **Background:**
23 / F / USA / 5'8" / 125 lbs / white
I drink a lot of caffeinated drinks, pretty much every day.. usually 2 'drinks' or more
I drink alcohol a few days a week, about 5-10 drinks at time
My diet has fluctuated slightly over this time period, aside from the coffee/alcohol. I used to eat a lot of bread and fruit smoothies... lots of carbs and sugar. I'm in a different country now (for the last 2 months) so now I'm eating more rice and fish, less bread and fruit. I don't really keep track, sorry. My diet is pretty typical for my age. But I frequently only eat once a day.
I first noticed this problem when I was using opiates (6 months ago), however it was towards the very end of my intermittent (2 week binge every 2 months for 1 year) opiate use. No opiate use after that, and no pain before 6 months ago.
Sometimes there's blood in my stool but I am pretty sure this only happens after drug/alcohol use. It doesn't happen often.
**Actual issue**:
This has been a problem for at least 6 months, but it somewhat intermittent. It seems like every time I eat anything I get sharp pain in my intestines. Same goes for when I drink anything (except water.. I think?), but it should be noted that aside from water I usually drink (in order of frequency) coffee, tea, juice, or soda. It usually feels like lower back pain but sometimes I feel it closer to the front of my body and slightly higher up in my torso. It also seems to be worse during my period. At one point, for about a month, I didn't feel any pain at all so I thought it went away, but it eventually came back. For the past 6 months or so I've felt the pain more often than not. I usually feel it every day, every meal. | i've had this problem pretty much daily for the past 6 months or so, i drink a lot of caffeine and alcohol, and my diet is pretty average. Currently in a non-English speaking country so I thought I'd come here for help. |
t3_yfw7o | relationships | How does a relationship f(19) m(22) overcome trust issues? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We were best friends for a few years prior to dating. I began developing feelings for him while I was dating my ex, as did he. Once this began happening, I broke up with my boyfriend. He also broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years. Although we did (somewhat) break up with our SO's to be together, we both would've done it regardless, because we were unhappy.
I know that lack of trust can stem from this beginning to our relationship, but I can't go back in time and change that.
My boyfriend has insecurities and trust issues. When I'm apart from him, and seeing friends, he acts weird. Sometimes he'll make fun of what I'm doing. Sometimes he'll jokingly say that "Oh, you're so popular. You have so many friends." Things like that, that really hurt my feelings.
If I have a close guy friend, or a guy friend in general, he does not deal with it well. He doesn't tell me I can't be friends with them, but he makes me feel so uncomfortable in the situation that I don't want to be friends with them anymore in order to make him feel better. I know this is wrong, and I don't want to spend my youth avoiding friends.
I love my boyfriend, but I broke down last night. I can't keep feeling like I can't have friends and my boyfriend. That we can't spend time apart. After 4 hours, he finally admitted that the problem was that he has trust, jealousy, and insecurity issues. But he said that he is "over it" and will stop "making me feel bad for seeing friends" and that he wants me to do what will make me happy.
I know it isn't his fault that he feels this way, but I haven't done anything to make him not trust me, so I'm unsure what I can do in the situation. I reassure him everyday that I love him and want to be him. There's so much more to the situation, but this is as lengthy as I'll let it get. | Boyfriend has bad trust & jealousy issues, along with insecurities. I want to help him overcome this so that we can be together, but am unsure how to. I have suggested therapy. I know that it's his issue, but I feel helpless. What can I do....besides break up |
t3_3gvmy5 | tifu | TIFU by appreciating the female form | So here I am, walking on a narrow pavement to the local store. In front of me is an insanely good looking woman. I'm talking 10/10 tanned skin, slender legs and waist, big, firm looking ass. Beautiful.
Now, she's on her phone texting or something, so she's walking pretty slow. She's wearing a crop top and some really tight leggings. Waddling along at snail's pace behind an angel, most men will find their eyes drawn to the rhythmic sway of her cushiony behind. Me being a horny fifteen year old didn't help either.
So here I am, trying but failing in my attempts not to stare, when this old woman comes up behind me and calls me shameless in Urdu. When I say call, I mean she shouted. In URDU.
The beauty in front of me turns around suddenly, probably thinking along the lines of a terrorist attack or something. Being the smooth talker I am, I turn as red as a brown person can, and mumble something like: "not.. related.. C-c-crazy.. hi"
She walked away at a significantly increased pace, while the old woman will probably tell my parents if she ever sees me with them. Oh, and she called the girl a whore in Urdu as well. | walking along being a dude, when an old woman tells me it's rude |
t3_2cdapq | tifu | TIFU by bringing a $700 smart phone on a roller coaster | It was a dark and stormy night at Six Flags over Georgia (Hot and sunny actually). A group of friends and I were preparing to ride [The Superman] As standard procedure I placed my phone (a [Galaxy Note 3] into my velcro secured pockets.
While riding, I feel the force of a pretzel loop unstrap the velcro. In a frantic panic I attempt to grab my phone, but the seat harnesses inhibited any arm movement great enough to reach the bottom pockets.
I was forced to watch in horror as my phone fell screen first into a gruesome free falling plummet to the inevitable pile of gravel below.
After contacting lost and found, I was informed the phone was intact, but suffered from major chunks of the screen missing, hindering it unusable.
When I receive the broken device in the mail, I will update with images of the damage. | Velcro pockets came undone, phone thrown into a pile of rocks. |
t3_2q4eg1 | tifu | TIFU by bringing the wrong presents to a party | This happened the other night at a dinner party at my girlfriend's friend's apartment.
**The Before**
Recently my girlfriend and I have been talking about getting back into shape (I had been playing Ultimate Frisbee for several years and recently had to stop due to too much schoolwork, and my girlfriend just wanted to get more active), so I decided I should get us Fitbits for Christmas. I was rather excited, ordered them on Amazon a week before the party (thank you Amazon Prime!), and waited to exchange the presents.
Well, I couldn't wait any longer, and since my girlfriend and I aren't going to see each other on Christmas, due to attending our respective family's festivities, I figured I would bring them along and exchange them at the party! The host of the party said there were "presents under the tree for us", so I figured it would be a good time to do it.
**The During**
Now my girlfriend didn't know about the gifts and I wanted it to be a surprise, so I wrapped them up - without labels - and brought the along with a bottle of wine to the dinner. I tucked the presents under the tree, unannounced, and we continued to have a wonderful meal.
Later in the evening we exchange presents, and I think you can see where I'm going with this. Now, I can get a bit socially awkward at parties if I'm not really close to everyone there - which I wasn't. The host's wife starts pulling presents from under the tree and sees my two gifts. She asks who's they are, I answer they were mine, and before I could say anything she goes "Oh, these must be for us!" and they start opening the presents....
They seemed very excited.......
**The After**
I now am out two fitbits (one for myself, and one for my girlfriend), my girlfriend is now mad at me because I ruined the surprise, and now I won't be able to order new ones in time for Christmas...
**The | Brought unlabeled gifts to a dinner party, intended for my girlfriend and I, the hosts thought there were for them and opened the presents. I have now ruined Christmas. |
t3_m2gxj | relationships | My girlfriend is getting to be clingy. | Hey Reddit. I'm 18M dating a 17F.
My girlfriend and I were set up by a mutual friend of ours about a month ago. We both knew of each other and thought the other was attractive, but we were both too shy to do anything about it. Needless to say, when we were set up, we didn't know each other very well. After about a week, I thought she was pretty cool, so I asked her to be my girlfriend.
Anyway, in the past few weeks, she's become terribly clingy. She has a really shitty home life, and I think it stems from that. Regardless of why she is the way she is, it's really annoying and a major turn off. She texts me all the time, and if I don't reply within 10 minutes, she starts sending more and more. She wants to be around me constantly, even going as far as to push me to disobey my parents in order to see her. The worst part is that two weeks ago, she told me that she loved me. That was my first major red flag. I tried to tell her that she doesn't, but that just led to a major fight.
Normally, I would just end it, but we've had make out sessions recently that have escalated into other things of a sexual nature. Nothing serious at all, but enough to make me think that she might think I was using her for things like that if I were to break up with her now. Guys have been terrible assholes to her in the past, and the last thing I want to do is remember me as one of them.
I still like her and think she's really cool, but I can't deal with this shit. I don't know what to do. | My girlfriend is really clingy, but I don't want to break up with her and make her think that I was using her. Help? |
t3_4tcr2q | relationships | Am I overreacting? | So I've (32/M) been seeing this woman (32/F) for almost 4 months and I really care about her. I have a major issue with infidelity from past relationships. I'm divorced from an unfaithful partner and many other past relationships are similar.
So tonight I went to a concert with her and she's a huge fan of the band (chubby and the something or another from Louisiana). She gets a kiss on the lips from the singer. I see it and say nothing about it. She tells me and asks me if it bothers me to which I reply "Yes it does." She seems to blow it off, she's also kinda hammered at the time. But I can't help but feel like I've been disrespected. My feeling is regardless of someone's social status it does not exempt you from certain situations. I wasn't able to show her any emotion the rest of the night.
Am I overreacting or is this normal for someone who's been lied and cheated on multiple times in the past? | My gf kissed another guy and I'm not happy |
t3_41ywdq | Advice | Does post university dating (for people in their twenties to thirties) ever get easier? I feel like I'm the only one left. | Last weekend I turned 24, I got lucky and found work right out of graduation as an accounting clerk. I've been with the company for a year now and have begun taking night courses towards my designations. I'm still pretty new to the 8-5 working world and living with my parents until I can clear out more debt.
My whole life I have been surrounded by people my own age, I've had two serious relationships and a handful of flings. Now I see someone my age once or twice a week. I am the only twenty year old in my office. (Everyone is mid to late 40s). So when I'm not at the gym or rock climbing I never really run into anyone I can connect with. It's been bumming me out as of late. I have my group of close friends but no one new has come into my life in a while now and I'm beginning to feel like this is the new "norm".
I've been trying to get involved in more things (time and money permitting) like co-ed sports leagues and I signed up for online dating too. I've had a few messages go back and forth online but there only seems to be a handful of people using the sites in my area. Everyone else happens to be 1-2 hour drives away. In the real world it seems like everyone I meet is already in a relationship (when I do meet someone new) All of the couples I know met in college or highschool.
Realistically I know I haven't missed my chance. But at the moment it certainly feels that way. I'm guessing that I am going about this the wrong way. I'm not desperately searching, but it's definitely on my mind. I've just been focusing on myself and keeping my eyes/ears open to new opportunities.
So to all of you bachelor/bachelorettes or even happy couples that have met after finishing their education. what advice/stories can you share with a bummed out single such as myself that can give me hope?
I know its lame but, I'd like to know that everything will be okay. | 24 years old. After graduating and finding work it seems like people my age don't exist. I've joined co ed clubs and dating sites. Everyone seems to already be in a relationship or live 1 - 2 hours away. |
t3_32ql2s | offmychest | They've got the Green Eyes. | While some people are inspired by my successes and me getting through my troubled times, others have nothing better to do with themselves than to kick people while they're down or to do anything they can to sabotage people's successes because they're jealous.
I used to have a childhood "friend" who would always compete with me. Even though she went to an ivy league school and got an ivy league job, she was still always jealous that I didn't have to work for my beauty and my beauty came naturally. She always had to have better things than me when it came to that.
Funny, I wish I had her concentration when it came to finding a high paying job, and she wishes she had my natural looks. I was pissed that she was still trying to compete with me when she always had the better material things and couldn't give me one good trait to myself had to be better at that, too.
Online, I've come to the conclusion that there are some people out there that can't compliment someone when they do write good things and they never will be able to. While I have ran into decent posters, the very few obnoxious posters are seriously cowards continuously following my account posting history to other sub reddits and down voting my personal things that I mention. Some people say I should be flattered that someone is stalking my posting history extensively and I am. While you down voter sit there being a jealous ninny over me continuously down voting my posts, I'm still gonna be successful and I'm still gonna be me. The more you down vote the more I'm going to be even more successful so keep sitting there being a jealous ninny stalking my posting history like the nosy lurker that you are. | I feel like we now live in a world where some people can't congratulate another person for being successful they find that "bragging" and "boasting." Instead of calling someone a braggart, perhaps the persons who think people are bragging just don't have anything to brag about! |
t3_n2q1q | relationships | Trust issues? Jealousy? Just longing? WTF is this!? | Heya reddit. Me (27M) , her (23F).Back story is that I met this girl on OK Cupid and we have been officially dating for a little more than 2 months. For the most part everything is great. We talk about everything, share many common interests and have awesome sex.
It just seems that she is not sure of herself sometimes. Once she asked me if I was attracted to one of her friends, she has gone through my fbook friends list and asked who two women were because they "liked a lot of my posts". I have been completely honest with her and have done nothing that would make her not trust me and she says that she does trust me, just not sure if I believe it.
One of the issues we apparently have is that I like to go out to a bar to hang with some long time friends of mine once or maybe twice a week to play poker. This makes her obviously uncomfortable and sometimes she tends to get upset about it. I need to move out of my apt in a couple months and one of my poker buddies made me an awesome offer to move in with him.
When I explained this to her she was very upset and clearly expressed it. She claims that I am being selfish and "just thinking about me" because we live pretty far apart already (about a 40 minute drive) and this place would add about 5 minutes to that, but so far we both make efforts to make the drive and visit each other on the weekends. She also thinks that moving in with him will be "an excuse to go out more" and she "doesn't know if he will have some chick hanging around".
I was looking for apartments somewhere closer to her but I am getting an immensely better deal by moving in with this guy into a nice house.
She is adamant in saying that she trusts me completely. If that's true then WTF is going on here? I really like this chick and other than these issues things have been going great. Delicate situation and any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. | GF seems unsure or even worried about me when I go out, shit blew up when I told her I am moving in with a buddy. |
t3_dlaqp | AskReddit | Alcoholism and Drug abuse. Share your story. | I grew up around alcohol, my father is an alcoholic. I began drinking when I was fifteen. It started out all innocent enough but snowballed into insanity. At 23 I joined the Navy for an easy escape from my family and have a new excuse to drink. The Navy promotes drinking in many ways, tradition I guess. Not using that as an excuse, it just fueled my addiction. I then discovered marijuana, cocaine, heroin, speed, ecstasy, steroids etc. I did it all. I left the Military and then spent three years in prison for robbery. Immediately after prison I was sent to rehab. I am 31 now and have 21 months of clean living. I have never had a girlfriend, and have the social skills of a nine year old. But I have a good job and a support system. | I abused booze and drugs, went to prison then rehab. Now 21 months sober. |
t3_41x0wq | personalfinance | Student loans | I currently have 48k in student loans and I'm just starting my third year. My parents just got divorced. My mom isn't going to help at all and my dad can't help too much. We are probably on the borderline of middle/lower class (closer to middle) as we have enough money to eat and have a house, but not enough for entertainment. My dad has a good salary, but a lot of the money goes to my mom or to debt that my mom accumulated and dumped on my dad during the divorce. I do go to a private technical school, but I feel I like I should not have this much debt already. I have a 3.95 gpa and I'm in an engineering major so I will be able to pay it off after college. My friends who have similar financial statuses have much less debt than me. Is this too much debt already or am I jut freaking out? | I have 48k in student loans and I am starting my third year. Is this too much or am I freaking out? |
t3_3un43l | relationships | My [23F] ex-boyfriend [24M] professed his love for me after not seeing him for 5 years. | Last night I received a message through Snap chat from my ex stating that even though he hasn't seen/talked to me for 4+ years, I am the love of his life and he loves me deeply. I don't have his phone number or anything, and I never send him anything through Snapchat. I just had him there because previous contacts stay in the app. I blocked him after I read that message and that was that.
I have no feelings for him whatsoever. I am currently in a relationship with the most amazing guy ever, whom I imagine spending my life with. My question is whether I should let him know about the message I received or just leave it.
I don't want to tell him because there is absolutely no reason for it. In my opinion, it would create trouble or unwanted thoughts where there should be none. On the other hand, I don't want to keep anything from him. I
I just don't want to create problems where there are none because of a dumb guy who seems obsessed. | Obsessed ex-boyfriend from 5 years ago is supposedly in love and I don't know if I should let my boyfriend know. |
t3_3vtlic | relationships | My (27f) best friend from middle school/high school (26f) reached out to my mom (60f) via social media to ask for a pretty significant loan. Not sure how to approach this. | My former best friend and I are still on good terms, however she stayed in our hometown and I moved away over 7 years ago. My parents are still there, but never see her or interact with her in any way, but she is friends with my mom on Facebook.
My mom called me today and was a combination of confused/pissed off about a message she received from my friend asking for a loan to help with some legal troubles. My parents are in no place to be giving out money to anyone and definitely can['t support this request. My mom can be kind of reactionary, so I helped her write a polite response basically telling her no, but also making sure she knows that if they can support her in some other way, they could potentially be open to it.
So at this point, I'm not sure what to do (if anything). It completely floored me that she would reach out to my family like that without talking to me about it at all. I am very familiar with her legal troubles, but not because she felt brave enough to tell me herself and mostly because much of it was reported about in the local news. She has to realize that my mom would be telling me about her request, right? Should I talk to her about this or just leave it be? What would I even say? | Old friend asked my parents for money, never talked to me about it first. Parents said no, but I'm not sure if I should talk to her about it. |
t3_2jk9s8 | relationships | I'm [22F] worried that my boyfriend [22M] of 4 years prefers spending time with our friends over spending time with me. | My boyfriend and I live together, and our four best friends all share an apartment a few streets away. Naturally we see them quite often. 2-3 nights a week is enough for me, and usually I want to spend the rest of my evenings at home with him, I have a very tiring job and want to relax together. For him, he'd rather be there pretty much every night, or at least that's how it feels from my perspective over recent weeks. Every time he is invited over, he goes, which is pretty much most nights of the week. Leaving me at home alone, which is fine when its only now and then, but when it's more than 2 nights a week I feel a little upset. On occasion I will ask him to stay at home and spend time with me instead, and it's like I've dropped some horrible burden on him, and even though he says "yes, of course" he looks like a kid who had his toys taken away. I don't want to guilt trip him or make him feel like he can't go out without me, because he'll only start to resent me. I've spoken to him about my fears, about how I feel like he prefers being with them and he just says "that's ridiculous, I love you" I do believe that he loves me very deeply but I don't think he understands that there's more to a relationship than just love. Whenever I complain abut him being away so much his response is always "Well you're always welcome to come over and join us, you're always invited". I just don't know how to make him understand why this bothers me. Am I just being overly anxious about this? | – I think my boyfriend may be sick of my company, but hasn't realised it. |
t3_1c6si4 | relationships | How can I (m17) be a better friend to my best friend(f17) | Most my life I've been pretty friendless, and was happy that way. Last year, however, I met someone who for the past year I now consider to be my best friend. But I feel like the relationship is one-sided, with her doing most of the work. Every morning she begins the text conversations, she's always the one seeking me out, and she's always the one who talks to me about her issues, while I always have a tendency to bottle up.
I've asked her about it, and she tells me it's fine. But it's killing me. I feel like I'm a terrible friend, especially since she's been having a lot of terrible issues lately and I feel like what I'm doing-just sitting there, listening, occasionally offering poorly thought out insight just isn't working. And while she seems comfortable telling me of her home troubles, I can't seem to reciprocate that feeling. I rarely tell her anything that happens home, and I can't figure out why. It's not because I don't have any problems, I have tons of them that I would love to be able to talk to and share with someone. And every time I've opened up she's been very supportive and helpful. But I'm still unable to do it that much.
She recently told me I was the only person she felt like was a true friend to her, and I genuinely feel the same way. I just can't show it. It feels to me like I almost can't trust her, which I hate because I trust her more than anyone in the world. I want to be able to show that I DO trust her, that I DO think of her as my best friend, but I've no idea how the hell to be a friend to someone. How can I be a better friend? | I feel like I'm a terrible fucking friend, and I have no idea how to be a good one. |
t3_33v2t1 | askwomenadvice | Should I [22M] give it one last shot with my new ex [22F] before moving on for good? | **Heres some background info.** We dated for just under a year. We ended because we both felt something was off and I addressed it. She said she doesnt feel the same anymore because after a couple months of stressing about it, she got 'past the point of caring' (her words).
The issue she was stressing about was if I liked her. She always wanted a more emotionally connected relationship and so did I. But we both were very scared to show our true feelings. But it all came out once we broke up. During the breakup discussion I said how I was actually scared about how open I should be, she said the same. But we didnt know how to fix that.
The only difference is when I finally communicated this to her (I should of brought it up way earlier), she said she wants to care and that she knows she should care and she wants to go back. But doesnt feel like it will ever be the same. She said she was numb to it at this point.
The breakup came in stages. I called her and told her we need to talk. We decided to not talk for a day to collect our thoughts. We met up, ate dinner, and spoke about us for three hours before she suggested we take a break (but we both knew that was where it was heading), then a couple days later we chatted again over the phone and I finally said that we should break up (but we both knew that it had to be said).
We havent spoken since and its been 5 days since we 'officially' broke up, but its been 9 since the original call.
**I want to take one last attempt at reconciling before completely moving on. Should I contact her now? Wait a week or two (or longer)? If I do, what do I even say? | Broke up due to mutual issues but I want to try again. How do I go about doing it. (Reading the background info is important to understand the context. I made it as short as I could.) |
t3_1kjbs3 | relationships | Does anyone here earn substantially less/more than their partner and how do/did you rectify the divide? | I [36M] am a bartender and earn a lot less than my girlfriend [35F]. On top of that, my child support absolutely drains my bank account to the point that I'm consistently late on paying bills. My girlfriend is a high school teacher of 12 years and while, by no means wealthy, she is comfortable and seems to have managed her money a lot better than I have.
As someone with ADHD, my financial history is abhorred and I have very poor credit and I've learned to only buy what I can pay for in cash. I have no idea what her financial history is, but from what she's told me, and what I can gather, she has very good credit and can afford to pay for things a lot easier than I can. Just the other day she mentioned her retirement account and alluded to how much was in there (she was considering dipping into it for a down payment on a house). I don't have more than $200 in my bank account right now and that's it. No savings, no retirement account - nothing.
We've been going out for a 4 months now and are pretty serious. However I'm beginning to be concerned that I'll end up bringing her down by trying to make up the difference of whatever I can't bring to the relationship financially in the future, whatever that may be.
So how have you dealt with being the one who earns less or more than your partner? I know that if you love each other, money doesn't matter. And we do, but at some point, I would imagine that relationships that have disparate incomes would hit a wall. | I earn much less than my gf and want to know how to deal with it. |
t3_r1kna | AskReddit | I need help with my router/buying a new one. | I currently own a Linksys WRT54GL. I have owned this router for a few years and it works great! It has a bunch of custom firmware, and it's an over all amazing router.
Recently our internet has been slowing down and disconnecting completely and today it hasn't worked at all. I reset the router and it works for a couple minutes and then stops again. I have plugged in my computer directly bypassing the router and it works great.
I have came to the conclusion that the router has died (correct me if I'm wrong). I was looking to buy the same one from Amazon, but it says "Operating System: Linux", why? I assume it says it's for Linux because it comes with Linux CDs? Just like a hard drive will say Windows, although it can easily be formatted to Mac.
If there's a better router, let me know. I just like how this one has many custom firmwares, and is PnP (plug and play) without any setup or installation process.
[Here's the router I plan on buying.]( | This is about teh internets. It's very important you read it all! |
t3_omlbx | AskReddit | Is it ethical?? | Here's my dilema:
I just got a job in November after being unemployed (finishing school) for a couple months. This was the first job offer I received in my field, and I had almost no money so I grabbed it, though they pay way below what I feel I am worth.
Today a different place called, asking me to an interview, starting at MUCH more than I make now. I like the people I work with now, it's a small company, I fit in, it's relaxed, but I don't quite like the work. This new job would be more of a challenge, definitely less flexible, but again, lots more money.
And here's another little complication to throw in there. I am 3.5 months pregnant...so I'd be at least taking maternity leave in 5-6 months, if not leaving all together.
So, two questions Reddit...should I tell this lady at my interview I am pregnant? (I know there are laws against people not hiring you just b/c you're pregnant) And if they offer me the job should I bail on this other place, just to leave in a few months?? | I'm preggers but need a job with way more mulah |
t3_3ovuuj | relationships | [F/28] I'm pretty religious, but my boyfriend [M/29] isn't at all. Those who are religious with atheist SO's, how do you make it work? | I've been with my scientist boyfriend for about 6 months and everything is going great. We have interesting conversation and being that we have opposing views on God and religion, we debate it often. We were both raised in Catholic households. During a difficult time in my life, I turned to God and through my faith found happiness and peace of mind. He had the opposite effect. He said he was searching for answers and religion did not provide them. He says he believes facts and things that can be proven. He believes in science.
There are a lot of ideas the Catholic church preaches that I do not agree with. Aside from the church though, I know that I love and believe in God. Boyfriend has no such faith. I respect his views completely, and never try to push my beliefs on him.
I'm starting to think more about our possible future together and I can't help but wonder how this would work once children come into the picture. Things are wonderful between us, but how would we raise our family? Shouldn't parents provide a unified front? I know this is hypothetical, but I'm curious to know how religious people and non-believers make it work. | God is a big part of my life, but not so for my boyfriend. Is this a fundamental incompatibility, or is there hope for us? |
t3_2ugno2 | relationships | Me 35/F] with my __boyfriend_ [39M] been together 1year help what do I do duration, | Relationship dnt want to lose him from 4everangel sent 3 days ago I'm 35 f my bf of 1yr is 39, we live an hour away but for the last yesr have been able to have a great trlationship. Lately I find him diffrent and a bit distant when I ask questions he says why ask so many questions. He is not one to open up much and I like to know so we are on the same page. I trust him and have Fallin in love with him and he knows my feelings , we spend holidays with his family when we are together it's great. We met on a dating site lately when I tell him what I'm feeling or sense he doesn't respond or if I ask a question for instance is there something wrong cause he seems distant he responds with why I asking question relax or why with the question. I don't want to lose him he is great I love him unconditional . What do I do not to lose him | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_1kj3v6 | offmychest | Transitioning out of military institutionalization, unknowns of life, and realization of aging parents. | Hey all,
I am not particularly depressed, nor am I really unhappy with life, however for the first time in a long time, tears came to my eyes late this night. Most likely due to the upcoming exiting of the military, which has marked my life since graduating high school, it is all I have known in my adult life. I have been away from home, besides small visits, since 2010. I have grown much more mature and appreciative of things in my life (particularly my very great childhood). I really can appreciate my parents for how helpful and loving they have been and continue to be throughout my life -- I am truly blessed.
I am accepted into a large university and have been preoccupied with feverishly 'planning my life' by reading through dozens of books on anthropology, sociology, and psychology -- trying to figure out what I would like to do for the rest of my life. I think this is in part my way of dealing with the reality of the unknowns, the lack of security and dependence that I have had the luxury of possessing (one of the few benefits) as a member of the armed services. This will be the first time that I face life as an adult, essentially on my own, at least in my perception.
I spoke with my dad on the phone today, realized I missed his birthday phone call, talked for hours, became extremely nostalgic. This late evening, a whole day of 'planning my life' down once again, and saw a picture of my grandparents (both long deceased). It was my father's mother's birthday today. It made me think of how quickly life passed by, how my father must have dealt with losing his parents, and then it returned to me, and how I will deal with my father and mother when they pass away. My father turned 60 years old yesterday. | I am about to face life as an adult on my own for the first time, I am utterly afraid of the unknown but working hard to plan my life, and nostalgic and fearful of losing the two people who were always there for me, who nurtured and raised me, and how I will deal with the reality of losing them and having no one to stand by. |
t3_14b9a4 | relationships | My girlfriend [26f] doesn't want to dance with me anytime I [26m] ask, but when I gave a friend permission to dance with her she went instantly when asked. | We have been together for over 6 years and every time we go to a club or place where there is dancing I want to dance, but she doesn't want to. We danced a couple times before during our first year together, but since then she doesn't want to dance with me. I've asked her a few more times throughout the 5 years and she would say she doesn't want to. I figured that she does not like to dance because she is shy or something. However, when she is drunk she sometimes shyly dances with herself (moving of arms etc, swinging side to side, etc.)
Then sometime ago we were out with a few friends and we had a few drinks. A friend asked me if he can dance with my girlfriend. I said yes thinking that she was going to say no because she never wants to dance with me. So on my part I kind of want to see what she would say. Then when she was asked and got up immediately I was surprised along with our other friends that she went dancing with him. Apparently she was drunk from what she told me, but I didn't think so because she only was able to comprehend and hesitated when my friend asked her to dance. They didn't dance long, but it was for about 2 songs.
Later on, about 30 minutes after she danced, I wanted to dance so I asked her and she said no. The next day I got mad at her about that night. She said she didn't remember me asking her to dance. Then later on she says she doesn't feel comfortable with dancing with me.
Am I at fault here? Do I have a reason to be mad at her? Why does she do this? | My girlfriend is immediately to dances with my friend with my permission, but doesn't want to dance with me even later on that night. |
t3_zp4o5 | relationships | M[32] in 7 month relationship with F[30] having child issues, F[5] girlfriends child. | We have been dating/with each other for 7 months now, one of the most important relationships I have had to date. The problem is, her child, she is a sweetheart most the time.
The issue is I don't know where I stand in this, there are times where discipline, at least to me, seems lacking. She can act like a spoiled little brat, and I assume is partly single mother syndrome. The father is a loose figure, barely does what he needs to, aside from visitation and such.
I am not trying to replace him as a father, but there is shit I just can't tolerate anymore. She told me to "die" and constantly tells me to "go home" when I am around..
She is whiny and often just complains and whines and I watch her mother just roll over and give into her ever whelm..
I am trying trying to fit a lot into a little space here, but I am looking for some serious objective advice. I will give any information that may help within reason. Just at wits end here. | Read title... |
t3_4wq558 | relationships | Me [25 M] with my immediate family (mom, 2 sisters) [55-18 F] making me feel terrible about not going home for a old family friends wedding due to making plans prior to being invited. | So Im being guilt tripped by my mom 55 and sisters (22, 18) for not going to a childhood friends wedding. The invite got sent home to my parents and I did not get the notice until about a month ago. Prior to knowing about the invite my fiancee and I scheduled a trip with another couple (who is my fiancees best friends) and we have about $200 invested. We made these plans almost a year ago.
Now the guy that is getting married I have known for 17 years of my life. Pretty much from childhood we knew each other and hung out. He was also my neighbor. I no longer live back home and I we both parted ways when we went to college. I haven't had more of a neighborly wave to this guy for over 6 years and given the past 2 years havnt even seen him or said word to him. We just aren't best buds anymore so I feel like the need to drop everything to go given the circumstances isn't warranted. I dont know the bride either. I feel like if I go back I would go to the wedding and sit in the corner with my family the entire time.
I would be eating $200 in tickets and such plus driving 4 hours back home THIS weekend if I decided to make a sudden change in plans. I originally put my foot down and told my family that it is what it is; Im not going. They should of gave me more notice. Eating the money invested would really suck and I would have to ruin the plans for the other couple (they would have to cancel too). I told my family I will buy them a gift from their registry and that would be it.
Everything was fine and dandy until this weekend they came down to visit me. They kept berating me and makin me feel guilty. Calling me an asshole and that I have become very insensitive. That I should drop everything for someone who I used to be so close with. I just dont feel it the need but somehow my family's guilt is cutting my like a knife. Have I really become that insensitive?
Im not sure how to handle this situation anymore. | Got a late notice about an old friend's wedding coming up this weekend. I made plans prior to knowing about the wedding. Family is giving me all kinds of hell for saying I already had plans. Not sure how to handle the situations. |
t3_2gmgb4 | relationships | I [30 M] have been dating a girl [31 F] for 8 months and now I feel pressure to... | We met in December. She came to the US on student visa which expired and she doesn't have a lot of options to stay in the country other than to get married.
I was aware of her status when we started dating although I didn't think there's no other alternative for her other than to get married until a few weeks ago.
Her family is well to do in her home country but she doesn't want to go back because she wanted to get away from her family. Her background is in acting and she wants to break into acting in NYC. Although she applied to a school she was rejected she thinks because of her legal status.
When we first started dating, she would always look forward to us hanging out. I had a job that was very demanding and at the same time I was keeping things open, so I didn't invest as much in our relationship.
When summer came around, we started seeing each other more frequently and I started developing feelings for her. I even introduced her to my parents who had some doubts about her status and why she didn't seek another career as many people in the US do, especially since performing in English is not something she's comfortable doing yet.
Summertime went well until her sister came to visit and she started getting homesick. When I asked her what her plans were she said that her parents wanted her to go back. A conversation about how much I really cared for her and then we had a fight over how I wasn't that much into her although she loved me to the depths of earth. After failing to get accepted into a local school for acting, she said that she stayed in the country for me. I know she would rather not leave so I'm not sure that's 100% true.
I am very much in love with her now after getting to know her but at the same time I don't want to do anything rash just because she's in a delicate situation. She's picking up on my concerns and thinks it's better that we move on. Could this be a ploy for her to get me to become closer to her and perhaps come out of my comfort zone and get married to her? | A girl I'm dating is saying she loves me but now she wants to call it quits claiming she loves me and that I don't love her enough given her situation. Should I continue pursuing this relationship? |
t3_42dcd9 | relationships | I (32F) - should I tell a guy its my first time? | I need other advice here because I am getting conflicting messages from my friends as to what I should do.
I have never had any physical touch or contact with a guy- not even a kiss- its all because of the way I was brought up- emotional and physical abuse etc... I didnt have a normal upbringing and I am behind everyone else.
I would like to try dating after my therapy and also experience kissing and sex- but my big issue is- should I let a guy know this beforehand?
My girlfriends are mainly saying no and that a guy will be so caught up with themselves that they wont notice but im not sure. Its very embarassing to admit especially the kissing part. I have tried to kiss a guy before but even when I find them really attractive I freeze up and cant do it and I cant tell them.
Any help is appreciated | Virgin- should I tell dates of my inexperience? |
t3_1quh0c | relationships | Found boyfriends sexts to another girl- what do i do now? leave? | Sorry this is long but i really need to get it all out i have no one else to talk to.
OK as the title suggests, i (f)17 found sexual texts from my boyfriend (17) to another girl on his mobile. i wouldn't normally check his phone but last night he barely put it down and was being secretive. This morning whilst he was in the shower i looked through and found messages like " sex with you would be so good" and "dw soon we will have it". I am utterly crushed by this and i never expected this from him. we have been dating for 7 months and have never had any problems until now.
The thing i am debating is if its serious enough to leave him. I do feel like i have been cheated on and he has really hurt me, but the thing telling me not to leave is the fact that this girl lives quite far away and he hasn't met her before in real life so i cant quite convince myself that texting is enough to end my relationship.
I FB messaged the girl and we spoke nicely, she didn't even know he was in a relationship! she told me how he convinced her he liked her and told her when he learnt how to drive he would visit her and have sex.
I confronted him and through broken up sobs he explained how he was being stupid and he would stop. I am so shattered Reddit i need some guidance, i really do love him. | My boyfriend sent sexts and i dont know if that is enough to leave him. |
t3_3kgnq8 | relationships | I [31 M] suck at communicating financial info to my wife [28 F]. | I work, my wife stays home watching out 4yo autistic child. We aren't well off financially, but things are starting to look up (her sister moved in, so the extra money from rent will help). Being that I don't make much, we are constantly behind on bills. Always behind, but never have anything shut off.
The problems arise due to me trying to shield her from whats going on. She knows that the bills are past due, but doesn't look at just how far past they are, or how little we have in the bank. I don't out and out hide this info, but don't offer it up. I don't do this because I'm trying to keep her in the dark. I do this because when she does see the bills, or gets delinquent notices in the mail, or someone comes to the door, she either gets really mad or really depressed.
The anger I can handle. But when she gets depressed, she gets to a really low point, usually for a few days. She talks about pawning things, or not eating to save money.
I know that it's not healthy to not have her input in this, but how can I include her when she doesn't like looking at the reality of it? | My wife gets mad/sad when I don't tell her we're broke, gets mad/sad when I do tell her we're broke. |
t3_p6am5 | AskReddit | Tell me your 'damn that was lucky' story. Me first. | Few years ago, I got stuck on a highway following some old derp doing 10 under the limit. Anyway, I saw my chance to pass and just floored it to get past him. Sure enough, a cop was waiting next to a bridge and got me doing 76 in a 55.
There was a lady I used to work with and I fixed her computer all the time for free. I told her about my misfortune and she asked to see the ticket. Well, sure enough, she knew the cop that wrote the ticket (based on his signature) and called him up. He said he threw out the ticket and told me that he didn't want to catch me again. | Got a speeding ticket, a work colleague knew him and got him to throw it away |
t3_3hme7x | relationships | I [26F] am having an affair with a rich, older, married man [52M]. He says he and his wife [F early 40s; only seen her once] have an open relationship, but now I'm worried that's true… | Let me start off by saying that I have no qualms about being with an older man for his money. The thing I love most about him is how frank he is--he knows I only care about his money, but he can get sex in return. He buys me nice things; I've gotten some beautiful clothes and jewels off of this. In return, it's just an affair, no strings attached. He's told me that the second I want to end it to go after someone my age that I'm into, I can, and I appreciate that. But for right now, I like going out to nice restaurants, having pretty clothes, and letting him pay for me and my friends to go clubbing or out on the town. It's fun.
But there's one thing I won't be, and that's a homewrecker. He swears to me that he and his wife have an open relationship, and that she has several men on the side as well. I figured that if they're both okay with this and I get something out of it, then why not. Who am I to judge them for having an open-relationship? I'm doing something most people find pretty immoral/gross, too. But I guess it was stupid of me to just believe him, because last night I found out he lied to his wife about where he was while with me.
See, if his wife is okay with him stepping out and he's okay with buying me nice things, then I'm okay with everything, too. But if this is going on behind his wife's back, I don't want to be involved. They have children together. She's a very beautiful woman, and quite a few years younger than him, although I've only met her once. These past few days, the thought that he may be cheating on her without her knowledge has been bothering me. I want to ask the wife, but I'm not sure how to do so and don't know how to contact her. I don't want to ask him because I'm not sure he'll tell the truth. Any advice? | I'm with an older man, he gets sex and I get nice gifts, and I'm fine with it because he says he and his wife have an open relationship. But now I'm worried that might have been a lie and that his wife isn't okay with us being together. How should I find out? |
t3_2c73xs | relationships | Me [19F] with my SO [19M] of 1 year, 7 months, is threatening to break up if i dont break contact with a close friend of 4 years! Help! | So, for the last three months my boyfriend has been upset with me every time I mention or talk to this friend of mine (the friend is 22 M, lets call him Ethan).
I've had this friend for 4 years and we've been really close since Ethan went away to college, hanging out every once in a while but we live over an hour apart so we don't hangout very often (i've only seen him 3 times in the last 7 months, and talk to him on the phone maybe twice a month). After the last time I saw him (and my boyfriend was there for this, it was at an event at our high school I invited my friend to), my SO was visibly upset and later told me that I had to break off contact with Ethan or that would be it for us. When he got upset, nothing had even happened, i had just talked to Ethan for like 15 minutes before he left, nothing else, my SO just didnt like him whatsoever.
We've gone back and forth on this quite a bit but he's been more forceful about this lately, though i've only talked to my friend a time or two on he phone since May. Ethan has helped me through a lot of school, drama etc. (and i've helped him as well with some pretty significant things, like deaths, getting through school, jobs, etc.) and I really can't imagine breaking contact completely, he and I are too good of friends for that. It makes sense that my SO is wary of some other guy that he doesn't really know, but he also hasn't been willing to even formally talk to and meet him! Do you guys thinks it's fair of him to do this, should I talk to my friend about it? What should I do? | SO wants me to break contact with a close friend or is threatening to break up with me, what should I do? |
t3_52suji | relationships | I [21] took my incredible girlfriend [19] for granted and im in desperate of need advice on how to gain back her love. | my now ex-girlfriend and i have been dating for a year and we are going through quite the rough patch. It mainly consists of me not appreciating her as much as i really should have. shes an extremely outgoing, loving and loud person, while im rather shy and quiet but very outgoing when in a comfortable setting. we've been on and off for last the 3 months but have always made up that same day we fought (happened twice). now this is the first real time we actually broke up. its been 2-3 days apart and im realizing now how important she is to me and how much i didnt appreciate her and took her for granted. Ive also made her feel bad a few times by asking her to lower her voice a bit, she takes this as i dont like her personality but its not that at all, she's just a little too loud sometimes. she used to see a future with me but ive always been skeptical because we are very young and she is my first girlfriend so i was and am completely new to this. (she was talking about our future just months into the relationship.) anyway, we talked today and she says she doesnt see a future with me anymore, but we are still talking regularly through text throughout the entire day about what how our day's going. She also agreed that we could still hang out, but not for a few weeks. Im not sure if i should just give up hope and quit contact with her and move on or if i should keep talking to her and try to gain her love back, my head is in a bunch. i realize now how important she is to me now that im not with her. i love her with all my heart and really dont want to give up on her. someone help me im completely heart broken. | didnt appreciate girlfriend so we broke up, now i realize i messed up and need her back in my life. |
t3_p4skf | relationships | a classic sit-com set up turns out to not be so funny irl. i feel like i'm going to have a panic attack, hopefully reddit can at least help me make a clear minded decision. | So, I'm in love with two women. This is probably not that unusual, and actually I am probably in love with way more than 2 women, but the circumstance of this day/week have left me pretty flustered.
About 5 months ago my gf of 4+ years and I broke up. We had been living together and just weren't having fun together anymore. She mostly did the breaking up, I wanted to work on it more. There were a lot of issues, but nothing I saw as impossible to over come (largely, I think, based on the fact the she is an extroverted energetic person and i am an introverted lazy motherfucker). She and I are both 25.
So on go a few months of me pining, drinking, smoking, spending time with my buddies and... viola, met a new girl. I wasn't looking for anything serious, just a rebound/fling. Which is what it started as. We hooked up after a party a couple different nights (as we have mutual friends and see each other frequently in those situations). After a couple times I ventured to ask her out just the two of us, and we just have a ton in common. We've been going out 2-3 times a week for a couple months now, but nothing official. She is about my age, a year or two younger.
Now the ex has re-entered my life and somehow it's come down to me chosing which one of them I see TONIGHT, after sort of making up with the ex over the weekend. Both of them want to see me, romantically, tonight. I'm sure there are a lot of details I've left out, so please let me know what else I can add, but this is just feeling really long. | do i pick the ex i thought i was meant to be with, or the potential new relationship that may never go anywhere but is a symbol of the new. |
t3_3ytx3u | college | Continuing degree without parental approval and its effects on my financial aid. | Hello Everyone,
The long short of the personal side of this story is that me and my parents have always seldom seen eye to eye on certain matters and now they believe that for my own good I should return home and finish my degree under their roof at a different school. Finishing my degree at my current school will take 21 hours, and transferring to the new school would require 45+ hours of work to graduate with the same degree and fewer minors. I am 22 and obviously have no legal obligation to return home, and the sound decision degree wise is to stick it out at my first institution and graduate on my own regardless of parental approval. I have been very fortunate in that my parents have taken to handling my student loans but now this seems like power they are holding over my head and this is the only real hurdle I face in truly making my own way.
I will just make this short and say income and personal matters are taken care of and I would be able to hold my own just fine, however I am currently unaware of the consequences or actions they could take against me aid wise in retaliation to me declining to return home. My loans are currently a mix of personal and parent plus loans and I am unsure how to change gears to allow me to have full control over the finances of finishing my degree. I don't believe my parents would act with any malice towards me and try to sabotage me in any way but it has been made very clear that if I go my own way it will be on my own.
So | Im continuing to go to college without my parents approval and I would like to understand how to prepare my financial aid for this. |
t3_2e7fcb | relationships | Me [27 M] with my roommate [31 F], trying to figure out how to split charges withheld from a security deposit. | My roommate and I lived together for around two years, had a good living arrangement, and are still friends. She moved in with her boyfriend at the end of the lease, and we both moved out to different places. The problem I have is that the former landlord is withholding a good amount of money (about 700 dollars) from our security deposit, most of which I think are things he can't legally charge for.
The biggest item (approximately 300 dollars), is for repair to a sink and mirror that were in my former roommates room. My roommate swears it was damaged when we first moved into the place, but she never notified the landlord about it. In her defense, it's a pretty small crack, and if I had been living in that bedroom I might not have reported it either. If she had damaged it, I would have no hesitation about making the repair come out of her half of the deposit. But, on the other hand, I think the landlord is trying to screw us and I don't think she should be charged at all.
We haven't discussed it directly, but as of now I'm pretty sure she expects us to split the cost since she said something along the lines of being charged 350 (half of the 700 dollar total).
Any ideas on how I should handle this. Should I split the cost of the sink with her, or should she be on the hook since she didn't report it? Also, anyone ever have luck getting a landlord to reduce charges on things they shouldn't have been charging for (normal wear and tear kinds of things). | Former landlord is charging my roommate and I for a cracked sink that I don't believe my roommate broke. Should I split the cost of the sink with her, or is it her responsibility to report it since it was in her room. |
t3_2rhaor | relationship_advice | A girl [18/f] digs me [18/m] but got too drunk | There's a girl who has liked me for a long time, but was playing hard-to-get so I had no idea. I'm not 100% sure, but I believe she still has feelings for me. So on New Years, I partied with her. Nothing too crazy; we were having a good time with good friends. She took a few shots and got a bit drunk, and started to flirt with me. Her friends were egging me and her on to hook up and shit; they also told me how much she formerly (or maybe still does) like me. So nothing happened after some initial flirting, and she starts to get pretty drunk. A make a couple VERY SMALL moves, and she starts to say shit like "I have a boyfriend," which she doesn't, and tells me she doesn't want to kiss me and some other bullshit of that nature that definitely wasn't true. We didn't talk much afterwards, and today at school she basically ignored me, whereas we would usually talk. So my question is: was she just drunk, or is there something else I'm missing? | drunk chick who formerly liked me pushes me away at a party |
t3_45yqy2 | tifu | TIFU by Attempting to Clean my Ears. | So yesterday I the bright idea to clean out my ears since I suffer from excess ear wax. I went to the local pharmacy to get some Debrox ear wax removal stuff and that's when it went downhill. As soon as I poured the Debrox in my right ear, I heard a swirl sound and my hearing was gone out of my right ear. I rushed to the urgent care so that they could clean out my ear wax, but that didn't seem to help. I've been pleading with my parents to take me to the doctors today, but since we don't have health insurance right now we can't go since we don't have the money for a doctors visit. The urgent care did prescribe some ear drops, but they don't seem to be helping at all. I really hope that this isn't permanent because it will have a huge impact on my life. | Attempted to clean my ears out, lost my hearing in my right ear instead. |
t3_48lyom | relationships | Am I (22/M) in love? | Hey guys. Hoping I can get some much needed advice,
So about a month, I (22/M) left my abusive ex girlfriend of 3.5 years. I just couldn't take it anymore and I didn't care for her as much as I used to. The night I left, I went to my friend's house and we slept together for about 3 days and then she just cut off contact with me. Then I met this amazing girl who truly gets me and understands me. She's always there for me and always checks to make sure I'm okay and I do the same for her. We started dating about 3 weeks after I left my ex until about 2 weeks ago. It appears that I'm struggling with PTSD and Depression, but excercising, taking St John's Wort, 5-HTP, and seeing or talking to her helps. She thinks we maybe rushed into the relationship. Maybe we did? I don't know. All I know is she's virtually my only friend and the only person that gets me. I always worry about her and constantly make sure she's okay. She tells me to not worry about her and to worry about me. I haven't seen her in a few days and she's my only social interaction outside of work. I'm confused. I want to be with her, but I understand she needs time to figure herself out. She's all I think about from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I think about how great it will be being with her in the future. Am I in love or am I just addicted to her like other people told me? I could really use some advice. | 22/m just out of abusive relationship and has feelings for another girl, but I'm really confused. Do I love her? |
t3_2u5z9d | relationships | Me [24f] saw a mystery transaction my SO[28m] in his debit card transaction history and nothing to show for it. | I was asked about dinner by mom. our conversation:
Her: Do you have any thing for dinner?
Me: yes, I planned on eating just this can of ravioli,
Her:[Insert my SO's name here] didn't buy any food? He said he stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home the other day.
Me: We have food, I just wanted something that was a quick fix. I don't know what you are talking about him stopping at Wal-Mart.
After this conversation was over, I got on my SO's phone while he was still sleeping and saw he was still logged in on his card account and I did look his transaction history, and he did go to Wal-Mart on the 26th, and spent 42 dollars, but I don't see nothing he bought. I asked him about it before he went to work.
our conversation:
Me: Mom asked me dinner tonight, and was wondering why you get didn't any groceries the other day when you stopped at Wal-Mart. I told her we had food. What did you stop at Wal-Mart for?
Him: I don't remember.
I didn't tell him that I looked on his transaction history that I saw he spent 42 dollars. He was going to work, and I don't like arguing before he leaves because Its always awkward the next morning when he comes home, and I don't like the feeling, so to avoid it, I said..."ok"
idk what to think right now. I know he can remember what he spent 42 dollars on, so I'm not sure why he is lying by saying that he don't remember. I want to confess I saw the 42 dollars spent at Wal-Mart. I was thinking about just saying that I just looked to see if what my mom was saying was true. Idk what's going on. Wal-Mart don't layaway except in the jewelry part. | My SO is lying that he doesn't remember what he spent 42 dollars on, nothing to show for it. |
t3_ohtj8 | dating_advice | I need to decide if I should start a proper relationship with this girl I've been seeing. Can you guys give me some advice? | So, I'm 21 years old, senior in college, a few emotional issues have made it hard for me to hit it off with girls. I'm lucky; I'm attractive and I can be charming. If it weren't for that I'd probably have been forever alone. As it is, I've had very few, very short relationships, and a few scattered one night stands.
I've been in therapy for the last 18 months and I'm doing a lot better. I've definitely been getting more interest from girls and I've been getting better at returning it. My plan has been to keep things casual for now and just spend a few months getting used to hitting on girls, going on dates, and getting comfortable with sex, which has never really been a big part of my life before.
All that's going pretty well. I'm not sure I'm really a player at heart, though. And now I've met a girl who wants to go out with me officially, and I'm torn. She's easy to talk to, a lot of fun to hang out with, pretty decent looking, and good in bed. The only problem is that she doesn't really give me any butterflies in my stomach, you know? We could have a really fun relationship, and I think that would be nice; but there's no burning need for her, there's no infatuation, there's not even that much lust. Part of me wants to just date the nice girl since it'll be fun, and there will be lots of just-kinky-enough sex involved, and part of me wants to hold out for butterflies.
I'm not asking you guys to make up my mind for me, but I'm pretty new to the dating scene and I'd really appreciate any perspective that you can offer. | great girl that I'm not going crazy for: short fun relationship, or keep playing the feild and looking for love? |
t3_oth9v | Cooking | Dietary limitations are making my meals boring, help? | Ok, so my darling husband has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, colitis, and diverticulosis. Because of these health issues we have to be super careful about what we eat. Our meals must be low fat, low cholesterol, and medium fiber. The diverticulosis diet is high fiber, but the colitis diet is low fiber. So we try to hit the middle of the road. He can't have raw vegetables, we've realized those will send us to the hospital. (colitis) In an average week we eat chicken two days, pork two days, fish two days, and red meat one day a week. I've been checking out the recipes here and have found a few I want to try. But I was wondering if anyone else here has these issues. Also I'd love some recipe recommendations. Side dishes, main dishes, everything. Right now I cook almost the same meals every week. There is very little variation and we're so tired of the same things over and over.
Please keep in mind when suggesting recipes: low-fat, low-cholesterol, medium fiber, not spicy. | Hubby's health issues limit our meals to low-fat, low-cholesterol, medium fiber, not spicy foods. Any recipe suggestions that fit in all of those categories? |
t3_zqx5y | AskReddit | I though I saw a paranormal creature as a child, the image still haunts me. Does anyone else have these experiences they just cant shake? | So as a kid I lived in a trailer by some pretty thick woods. One night, looking up out my window I think I see two shadows creeping up from the bottom, then stop at the top of the window pane. Just as slow a head slowly makes it's way up the middle with no discernible features except two large, bright, yellow eyes staring straight at me. I of course ran screaming and when my parents shooed me back in, there was nothing to be seen, but even to this day (I'm 24, I was pre-pre-school then) I hate looking out windows at night. I have to close the blinds, and make sure they are angled so nothing can peer in at me. All this and I live on the top floor of my apartment building. | I saw a very vivid creature as a child and now cannot bear to look out dark windows at night. |
t3_1k00mu | relationships | The winds of change with my (24f) boyfriend (25m) | Things are definitely changing between us.
I guess it all started when we had our daughter. Long, winding story short, he didn't help me at all. He just sat on the couch and watched TV and played video games.
He has also done badly at school. He has a couple of more semesters before he finishes and its now twice that he's almost flunked out.
The worst thing is that, a few months ago, he called me fat (I'm not. 140 lbs 5'5) and I KNOW it shouldn't, but it completely ruined my self-esteem. He's also going more out of his way to check out other women and I feel so disrespected and worthless.
I love him to the moon and back, but some days I just want to be away from him. I don't feel loved or appreciated. I bring ALL of this up at least once a week and he cries and says he loves me and he swears he'll change but it doesn't happen. I threatened to leave once and he threw a fit.
Help | the love of my life and father of my child has turned into someone I don't know |
t3_4vstb5 | loseit | Anyone else ever feel disgusted with themselves or guilty? Plateau mentally destroying me | About me: 20, F, 5'2", 121 lbs
I'm on the 4th week of a plateau even though my diet has been pretty consistent. Over the weekend I might have indulged more than usual but not enough to make me gain any weight. Workouts are the same, calories should be averaging out to about the same, but the scale will not budge.
It's making me think I'm not good enough, or determined enough to lose weight. I've been keeping track of measurements too and those haven't changed either...the past week I have just been feeling very bad about the whole process. Eating at (what I think is a deficit...1200-1300 cals a day-and yes I am tracking correctly!) seems to only be maintenance calories for me...I also do 1 hour of jogging 4-5 times a week so in my mind it is frustrating that this only maintaining my weight. I can't see myself only eating 1300 calories a day for the rest of my life to maintain 121 lbs, though I know I will always continue to exercise/be active. I mean it's awesome I'm not gaining any weight I guess, but to me, maintenance calories should be between 1500-1600. I truly feel disgusted with myself...I keep pinching at my fat and thinking how much better I would look 10 pounds lighter...I also look at pics from when I was heavier (like 140) and can't believe that I actually thought I looked somewhat good...my friends and family insist I'm not fat, but I know I am, I just feel misunderstood, angry, lonely... | I feel like a fatty, eating at a deficit, scale won't budge, disgusted with myself and worried I will not be able to maintain weight if this is what maintenance really is. Looking for motivation/encouragement/similar experience. Thanks. |
t3_k2w9y | AskReddit | What's the most impressive thing you've accomplished while extremely drunk? I'll start. | So we've all heard stories of the dumb shit people do when they're hammered. Let's hear some of the things you've done that most would say is quite impressive for someone who is very drunk.
I was up in Canada (Montreal) for the first time a few months ago. I went with my girlfriend and a group of friends. We got there in the late afternoon on Friday, relaxed, went out to get some food/explore.
Fast forward to Saturday night when we all go out with the intentions of getting extremely drunk. Being new to Montreal, I don't know where any of the good spots are but a friend of mine who was with us knew his way around a bit. We walk to this bar not far from where we were staying, have some drinks, then hop in a cab to find a place we could get crazy and dance a bit. At this point I'm already pretty loaded, and don't know where we are in relation to the place we were staying at. We find a place playing pretty good music that also featured erotic artwork on the walls. I'm talking bright colored paintings of girls going down on each other. Only thing to do in a place like that is get super drunk.
Later on, my girlfriend wanted to head back to the place we were staying but the rest of our friends decided to hang back and party a bit more. From this point on, I don't remember a thing. The next day, my girlfriend explained to me that I not only walked her back to the place we were staying, but I navigated the streets of Montreal perfectly...I even corrected her a few times on where to go. How? I have no idea. Apparently I turn in to a GPS when I'm blacked out. | I navigated the streets of a foreign country I had only been in for about 36 hours, and found my way home using only my drunk intuition. |
t3_3619qz | relationships | Me [18 F] with my Boyfriend [24 M] 1 year 4 months, I'm obsessed and have trust issues | I met my boyfriend online through a game. After a couple years of knowing him and being friends we started dating. He came here to visit me once and plans to visit again this summer. Throughout the course of our relationship, I've become quite obsessed with him. All I do all day is think about him. I cry when he leaves, I can't sleep without holding his jacket close to my face etc.
He has made me a few promises of things he wouldn't do ever, because they would hurt my feelings. However I'm having a tough time he will keep these promises throughout the course of our relationship. He hasn't done anything to make me distrust him. The fact that I can't seem to fully trust him as much as I want to is ripping me apart and I just want to know how can I trust him fully? It's not the distance or anything, I'm just really scared he'll hurt me. | Obsessed with boyfriend and I just can't seem to trust him fully. How can I trust him wholeheartedly? |
t3_28sw45 | tifu | TIFU by getting concentrated ghost chilli pepper sauce in my eyes. | So this happened about a year ago but I just remembered about it today. So basically I bought [this] ( to add some spice to a curry I was making. I put a decent sized blob on my index finger to taste it and as you can probably guess it was very fucking hot. A few minutes later I rubbed my eye because I had something in it but I forgot that I had just had the sauce on my finger and as some of you will know even if you can't see any on your finger there can still be traces there. As soon as I touched my eye and felt and incredible stinging and I had a glass of water beside me so I decide to pour it in my eye, bad fucking idea. That made it 10 times worse and I felt a milder stinging in my other eye. In the end I but a towel on my eye for 20 minutes and by the end of the stinging the towel had heated up by quite a large amount for some reason.
Sorry if it is badly worded, my first language isn't English so i'm not so great at it. | Got chilli sauce in my eye and poured water on it which only made it worse |
t3_3davxk | relationships | I [18F] hate my coworkers [20's m&f] | Hi guys so I've been at this job for about 9 months now and it's pretty nice. Flexibility with scheduling and it's a relaxed office enviornment. That being said I can't stand my coworkers. I'm a serious worker who understands that in an office environment you stay quiet, however my coworkers LOVE to speak loudly and obnoxiously. This has been a problem in the past with them being told to be quiet it's not okay. This does nothing, my boss would never fire them due to the fact that they're all friends.
They don't like me either mainly because I don't talk and gossip with them. Plus I never get reprimanded. In fact when I was hired I started at the same time as another girl and we became friends. Well my others coworkers didn't like this so they constantly snitched to my boss if I ever did something wrong in the slightest. It lasted about 2 months worth then trying to get my friend and I to quit. Eventually they succeeded with my friend and laughed as she left the office. The rude behavior eventually stopped and I became friends with the older associates at my company. They told me about how they were suprised at how my coworkers hadn't been fired already and that they were a pain to deal with. Although I was happy to hear this, dealing with my coworkers has got me at the end of my rope. I hate going to work now and dealing with them but I'm hesitate to quit.
Our department head is retiring soon and I'm thinking about atleast staying till then to see if it gets better. At the same time though I want to go somewhere new and more related to the field I study but I'm worried about sacrificing a flexible schedule. Please just any advice would be helpful. | I hate my job because of my coworkers and don't know if I should wait to leave after department head gets replaced. |
t3_3ktgst | relationships | My [17F] boyfriend [19M] is disrespectful | Throwaway acc because my boyfriend knows my user.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, the relationship was great up until recently. He started calling my names and just doesn't seem to care anymore. He calls me a bitch a lot, I've told him plenty of times that it isn't okay and if he continues to call me names I'll leave. But I can't seem to do it. Whenever I cry he calls me a crybaby and tells me how annoying it is. I don't cry to make him feel bad or mess with his emotions but because it fucking hurts how he disrespects me. I've tried to call him a name so he could see how it feels but it doesn't come out of my mouth because I respect him too much. I want to leave the relationship but it's hard, I love him so much. Or at least who he was before he started disrespecting me. I don't know what to do. | boyfriend started disrespecting me out of the blue. i want to leave but i can't. |
t3_2px75y | relationships | My (46F) son (21M) installed a security gate at his house to keep me and my husband (47M) away from his house. | My son and I have always had a pretty good relationship, he has always been very responsible and smart until recently. He started his own business about a year ago and has done very well so far. Well enough that he bought his own house last month. About two weeks ago me and my husband decided to drop by for a visit, he only lives about a mile away. The house is off the road a bit and has a long driveway, as we pull up we see about 6-7 cars in the driveway so we go ahead and go in the house because the door was unlocked, there were about 10 people standing around drinking beer including our son. Alcohol has never been something we approved of in our family and our son was always raised in church, my husband was pretty irate and made a little bit of a scene. Anyway about a week later we go by for another visit and out son had installed a security gate with a keypad to get in. We called our son who was home at the time and ask for the passcode but he didn't give it to us, he opened the gate by remote from the house. We had a long talk and he claims we do not respect his privacy and that he is independent now. In my eyes he is only 21 years old and still has a lot of learning to do, and throwing alcohol fueled parties is not responsible behavior. Just looking for some advice on how to best handle this situation, thanks. | Caught our son throwing a party at his house, he now has installed a security gate and refuses to give us the passcode. |
t3_1fn2cy | relationship_advice | (20m) unsure with disappointed gf (20/f) | We've been official for 2 months, but have known each other for almost 3 years. I go to school and work full-time, so does she. I didn't want to be in a relationship so I can focus on school (I have only been in one other that lasted 10 months). Since then, we've acknowledged that we like each other, but I wouldn't allow it to go further into a serious relationship. 2.5 months ago, I opened up to her more and found that I really do like being with her, so I asked her to be my gf. She said yeah, finally.
She finished finals 2 weeks before I did. I had 2 final exams left on the next couple Thursdays. We would have study dates and stay up to do just that. She passes, attends graduation parties and such. I let her know that I want to be a recluse and study by myself, thinking she would occupy herself with relaxing and partying after the semester's was over.
I failed the first final (first fail since high school 3.5 years ago). I was sad, but it was simply because I did not study and did not take the exam as seriously as I should have. I let her know that I failed and she is unpleasantly surprised how I could fail when given the space to study.
Second (and last final for now), passed with 86%. I actually studied this time. I let her know, and she was very short with me, but offered her congratulations.
Since then she has been short with me in communicating, offering swift goodbyes and a blunt tone. I also sense a loss of affection, meaning that in the few times I have gone to hang out with her, she feels distant and not eager to be with me like before she finished her semester. She doesn't initiate texts or calls like before, and when I attempt to leave, she no longer clings to me for a little more time.
I feel like I fucked up big time. What does this all mean? Is the relationship doomed?
Is it appropriate for me to ask her to tell me how she feels versus how I think she feels? | gf gave me space and time to study for 2 final exams (2 wks). I failed the first week. I passed the second week. She is upset that I failed given I was given the space and time. She has been distant/blunt/less-clingy since. |
t3_36ecx8 | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] 1.5 years, I'm staying at uni for a few weeks after the end of exams, she is going straight home and isn't happy | Me and my GF come from the same town, and go to universities which are a short train journey apart. This means that even when we are at uni, we get to see each other usually every weekend or every other weekend.
It is exam season now, and my uni has lots of events scheduled afterwards for everyone to de-stress and have fun, most of my friends here will be staying to take part.
My GF is coming to stay with me for a whole week after exams are over, before she heads home for the summer. She is very unhappy with the idea of me remaining here for a week or two, saying that she feels that since for all this time we've been forced by schedules to see each other infrequently, me choosing to stay at uni for a while suggests that I don't care about her.
Of course I care about her, and am really looking forward to having her stay for a whole week with me. I just don't want to miss out on all the fun that my friends are going to be having in the end of term events. This is my first year of uni, and I feel like I should get to finish it properly rather than leave before the party everyone else is going to.
I suggested that she could stay with me for the duration of the time I want to stay here, but she refused because she feels she doesn't fit in with my friends and flatmates here.
I'm at a loss at what to say to her, I really want to stay for a little while, and can't seem to convince her of my point of view.
Any advice would be very appreciated, I might have accidentally left out useful information so please ask me anything :) | I want to stay at uni after exams for the events with all my friends, GF is heading straight home and is unhappy that we'll be apart. |
t3_32y4q2 | tifu | TIFU by overdosing on vitamin C | Obligatory this wasn't today but awhile ago and blah blah blah I wanted to share so others may have this knowledge and avoid the fuck up, so here it goes!
So if anyone's ever had those vitamin C tablets they'll know they can be pretty tasty sometimes, my dad had bought some that were incredibly delicious and I would snack on them regularly. One day before I went to school, I realized that we didn't have any food that I could take with me, I didn't want to chew on my fingernails as I had a nasty habit of doing that when I didn't have food, so I had the brilliant idea of grabbing a zip block baggy and filling it with vitamin C. I had no idea that you could overdose on it, or what those consequences would be.
So at lunch I sat there snacking on them, there were maybe 30-40 little tablets and I ate them, **all** of them. I was doing fine through my class right after lunch, but then I got to my last class and holy shit, my stomach was **loud**. My teacher kept asking if someone's phone was going off, and then when I told her it was my stomach she shut up, until it kept disrupting class, then she sent me to the nurses office.
Standing up was a bad idea. It felt like my stomach was going to explode out my ass. I ran to the bathroom and it *burned.* I was in there for half an hour, unable to do anything else but endure the pain while clutching at my stomach and crying. I finally got to the nurses office and I couldn't even stand upright. Of course she called my dad and had him pick me up.
Cue an awful car ride home. My dad kept trying to ask what was wrong, he was pissed that I was missing school, but I just sat there, crying and clutching at my stomach.
I spent all day and all night on the toilet, crying, wishing that my life would end. I thought maybe I was really sick, but then I had the idea of googling whether or not you can OD on vitamin C. You can. It's awful. | Ate a bag full of vitamin C, destroyed the toilet as well as my ass. |
t3_384bha | relationships | Me [23M] told it's over by text from LDR bi polar ex [22F] | Met her through mutual friends, unfortunately long distance (around 2 1/2 hours coach journey). She suffers with Bi polar disorder so it was always a struggle coping with the distance.
After about 2 months things were going great, we already were planning long term (i'm at uni so had 2 years before i could commit away from my location). Woke up to a text the other morning saying it was over and that she needed to be alone. I'm still not sure why she has broken it off, haven't got a real answer from her since (only text, hasnt wanted to talk over the phone/facetime).
One reason given (not convincingly) is that she said she wanted to be able to cope alone without a guy to help her emotionally. Yet I get the feeling that she has already moved on to another guy more local to her, as he is always 'liking' her photos and she is back, they also had a photo go up on instagram in a hotel together. I want to trust her but not sure how to get her to tell me the truth about this, good or bad.
I'm worried that the bi polar has made her feel this way and has caused her to do something she'll regret later, or whether it's just myself being naive. Struggling to focus on anything right now and constantly being reminded of her by small things like walking past places we ate etc.
Is there any advice that you can give me in either things i should say to make her really think long and hard about this, or just ways I can get over it all easier.
Sorry if this is babble, i'm a bit of a mess currently so trying to get this all down is a little hard. Thanks. | Bi polar girlfriend broken up with me, not sure if it's what she really wants or the disorder itself. |
t3_37evsy | jobs | Not sure if this is the correct subreddit, but I need help with two conflicting interviews. | So I've been looking for a job for about a month now, and a friend of mine had told me that his buddy is looking for sales associates for a vape shop in a mall.
I got an interview, and did well. He told me he'd let me know by the end of the day/tomorrow for a job offer.
Literally as I got back to my house, my phone rings and it's an HR representative from a company looking to fill an IT internship, and I have an interview on Thursday.
Well, I just got a message from the vape shop about giving me a job offer. I'm not really sure what to tell them about my second interview and a hell of a better job. (It's the field I'm getting into.)
What should I tell him? That I'm pending an interview from a possible job opportunity? My girlfriends dad, (the one that submitted my resume and put a good word in for me) said they need an intern ASAP. So if they like me I'd likely be hired almost instantly. | I got a job offer, but I have an interview in a few days for a potential better job in the field I'm studying for. Don't know how to handle the situation. |
t3_3t702r | relationships | How do II [23f] deak with recent lack of sex from husband of 1 year [25m] | These past 2 months or so my husband has not had a lol of sex with me. We used to do it about 3 or 4 times a week and now maybe once a week.
He is depressed. So these last few weeks whenever I initiate ssx he says 'Nooo go away!' or just groans and says 'no doggy down' as a joke. He often starta to touch me and them stops.
He says he feels pressured because I want sex, and that makes him not want any. I feel so terrible.
He will be telling me how bored he is and I just think to myself 'huh maybe bang your wife?'.
I told him that the constant rejection hurt but he gets reeally mad and says it's not 'rejection' and me seeing it that way makes him more unwilling.
I cry myself to sleep now sometimes. I never ever ever reject him. I just wish he'd be into me again :\.
And yah I probably come off as clingy but I keep this to myself most of the time. I've tried to talk about it. He says I just need to stop pressuring him.
He keeps making gross jokes about shit or farts loudly. He will grope me and then just get distracted by his video games.
I dread going to bed at night cause I fear it is going to be another sexless day. I just wish he'd fucking try to get in the mood but he's just pissed.
Idk how to stop feeling like shit and accept this. | = husband barely fucks me anymore. I need to stop pressuring him. I feel like the ugliest piece of shit in the world. How can I let go of this? |
t3_3zud2t | relationships | My (20/F) mom (40/F) doesn't allow me to see my boyfriend (21/M) because of his past with self harm. | Hey all, I was hoping I could get some opinions and advice on the current situation i'm in. I appreciate it in advance.
A year ago I was able to get a job in retail. I'm now meeting tons of people and making great friends, and even a boyfriend! But the problem is my mother doesn't approve of me being with him and I'm starting to feel depressed.
The reason this is, is because he has cut scars on his arm. He had a very dark past, and it is behind him now. But on one particular night at 3am, a family member of his passed away very suddenly and he called me telling me how he felt the urge to start cutting again. I was concerned as anyone would be so I told him to come to my house so I could help him. She found out the next day and I ended up telling her the situation, she now believes hes dangerous and a threat to me. That "if he can hurt himself whats stopping him from hurting you". I have not been able to be with him outside of work for the last 2 months now and it is straining on our relationship. The truth is I've been lying to her by saying work called me in a couple hours early, so that she will drop me off, and he will pick me up from there to spend a couple hours with me. I feel extremely guilty for lying to her, and completely paranoid when I'm with him.
I've had tons of people tell me "You're 20, she can't tell you what to do" But it is not like that at all. Sure, I *can* go out, be with him and do whatever I want, but at the cost of her trust and respect for me, and possibly our relationship. I respect her too much to ruin our relationship, she is the only family I have and have ever known. She is just very stubborn and the kind of person who is extremely difficult to talk to and reason with. I don't know what to do or say to her. | my mom thinks my boyfriend is dangerous and a threat to me because he used to cut himself. Haven't been able to spend time with him in 2 months |
t3_52nzdt | relationships | I (25F) keep self-sabotaging my relationship and I really nice help. How do you keep insecurities from ruining things? | As the title says, I need help. I know by 25 I should be more comfortable with myself but I keep finding myself in this dark place where my insecurities are spilling over and impacting my relationship.
I've been dating this GREAT human being (34M) since January of 2016. I find that the more serious we get, the crazier I feel. I have never really liked myself and I feel like I should be over that period of my life by now. Buuuuut, I keep hearing this little voice in my head telling me I'm not "enough" for him. He gets so frustrated validating me and I'm frustrated, too. A lot of times this spirals into an argument and has me in tears. I need advice, how do you guys quell those negative feelings when they come up? I don't want to ruin my relationship with my great guy because of this little voice.
I'm sorry this might seem like a silly question, it's my first time posting ever and I want some insight from people who have no idea who I am, and I hope I can find that here! | insecurities keep causing fights with my s/o and I need advice or even past experiences/insight so I don't self-sabotage and lose a great relationship! |
t3_3wrvdj | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] over 2 years, I need an unbiased opinion and feedback about some things. | ok, so I have a few basic questions.
I constantly get into it with my girlfriend because she says I'm always mean, but I tell her I'm just neutral. I reflect a lot through out the day and just enjoy thinking. Am I wrong by saying I'm neutral and is my neutrality a problem?
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I like my own space and to do my own thing, but my girlfriend says I never spend time with her. We just moved and we both haven't started work yet, so I'm literally in the same room as her for every minute of my day, she even barges in when I'm in the bathroom. To make things even better I wake up earlier than her if I go to sleep at the same time, or just go to sleep later because of differing sleep needs. When she wakes up she makes her coffee and does her usual things then sits down to binge a TV show, usually a stupid one, and then after 5+ hours she asks, "why aren't you spending time with me or watching tv with me?"
I'm confused because she is well aware that I like to watch shows that are thought provoking or witty, knows I don't like the show that is on, hogs the only TV and my Xbox, and then asks that question. Am I missing something or am I wrong, I understand the importance of spending time together, but personal time is just as important. | Is being neutral the same as being mean, and am I wrong for wanting alone time? |
t3_1pvowd | dating_advice | (24/m) not sure how to interpret what she (25/f) said | I've been friends with a girl for about six months now. We've become fairly close. I admire her and am attracted to her. I've asked her on her opinion on dating in my city, places she's enjoyed going on dates, etc... she's also given me advice on this other girl I've gone on a couple dates with. She's told me about her on/off relationship and basically that he's a crappy guy (cheated on her, emotional issues).
We went out drinking with a few other friends last night. Her place was on my walk home, so we took the same route. We were having a great conversation then she tells me that I'm a really nice guy and the other girl is lucky to be dating me and she is only kinda with her guy because she feels sorry for him.
I don't plan on dating the other girl anymore. Part of me wants to tell girl #1 that she deserves better and that I would go out with her. I'm also afraid of hurting a good friendship by misinterpreting her words. Any advice? | Girl tells me other girl is lucky to be dating me and her guy sucks |
t3_2nr1bc | Advice | Really need some advice, not sure where else to ask | Not sure if correct sub but... I've just spent the last hour getting with my best friend, and wtf do I do now, really need advice.
I've known her for a year, lived together as freshers last year and living together this year, always been slight flirtyness but normally just for laughs, but it culminated tonight in actually getting off.
We'd all (our house, 4 of us) been out for this girl (call her Jane) birthday, and we'd come home and me and Jane had gone outside for a cigarette and got into some deep chats and one thing led to another. We were both pretty smashed and kept saying we wouldn't remember it in the morning, but I know I will. I just want to know how to proceed, because my head is spinning. Can give more info but already too much text!! | how to deal with/proceed from getting with a best friend |
t3_mtpfd | AskReddit | What are some thing's you do to subtly get back at the patrons at your job? | I'm a waiter at this little diner that still hand writes the checks and tickets. Now anyone whos ever waited on tables will tell you that there is a shorthand for writing an order on a ticket. Some of the abbreviations I use is "C" for coffee, and "UNT" for and unsweetened tea. Now at a diner in a small town these are fairly popular drink orders that I encounter many times in a shift. If my table orders this, and is being a dickhead, ill write C on one line and UNT on the next, indirectly putting the word cunt on their check. No one has ever said anything to me about it, and I doubt they ever will. Your turn reddit, what are some things you do to subtly get back at your customers? | I indirectly write cunt on the dinner checks of my customers. |
t3_54mhic | relationships | Me 27 M with my Girlfriend 27 of 8 months. She is super depressed, dragging me into depression. What to do? | Hey all!
My girlfriend of 8 months is super depressed. She can barely get out of bed, and has super bad anxiety and panic attacks. We study our masters together, in the same class. She is stressed out at school and falling severely behind, which is stressing her out more to the point where she can't open her books. I fear she may fail out of school soon.
I try and help to motivate her as much as I can. I take her running, and do activities with her, and she gets in a better mood. Sometimes she will be fine for a few days, but then it always regresses, and it seems to be getting worse.
She is seeing a psycologist, but it doesnt seem to help that much, and she refuses to take any medication.
It is putting alot of strain on me, and is making me depressed as well. I love her, and it pains me to see her so unhappy.
She called me today, and was just crying about how stressed she was, and how everything sucks, and how she feels like she is such a weak person, and I don't really know how I can help make it better.
Any advice from anyone who has experienced something similar?
Thanks! | Depressed girlfriend, making me depressed, feel helpless, what do I do. |
t3_1kqnlg | relationships | [UPDATES] I [23F] found out he [29M] has another child. | Just wanted to update you guys. Previous postings on finances & infidelity [here] and learning about lying about # of kiddos [here] and [here](
In short, I am a coward. Being without him scared the heck out of me and every time I ended it, I would flip-flop a couple of days later begging him to stay. I'm every terrible stereotype.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I end it, mean it, and plan to stick to it. He plans to move out of state to be near to his mom & where he has a job opportunity (which is great). My resolve to break up lasts one full week of him packing his things - one of the hardest weeks I have ever had. I change my mind again because he's really trying to show me he's better, changing. I tell him that don't want him to leave.
I say that the only way we had any hope in hell of making this work is to go to counseling, live together & work on our trust / intimacy / financial issues every day. Turns out, he chooses to leave anyway because of 1) the constant up-and-downs have screwed with him; and 2) to improve upon one of our points of contention - that he doesn't contribute to the household financially.
He says that he still wants to make it work - wants to do long distance and says that this could be the thing we need. I take this as a sign (since all of the others weren't?). No. If I can't trust you to stay faithful and honest when you're living in my home, I certainly can't trust across the country.
He moved last Wednesday. And honestly... I'm doing okay. So although it wasn't the dramatic breakup where I stand my ground and tell him I deserve better... it's over. I am beginning to see a counselor to get a better insight as to why I put myself so far down this rabbit hole. Thank you everyone for your help. I'm sorry that I wasn't better at taking your advice from Day #1. | Although I didn't stick to my guns, the end-result was still the same. And I'm doing okay. |
t3_4ycqn5 | relationships | My [M56] dad might be cheating on my [F56] mom. | My mom has cinfrinted him before and be gets mad and just ignore her for a period of time that is how he is. Mom says she doesn't feel loved. He start to get better to showing some affection towards her like he kissed her on the cheek and she asked why not on the lips and he says "why do we have to do this right now?" Mom when and got new clothes make up done and he did not say anything and it made her upset that he didn't say anything. There for a while it was sounding like my mom is just wanting attention. But she stays up crying in the night and during the day sometimes. It's literally driving my mom crazy and me and my sister are worried about her. He has sent her a text saying "hey honey" and another said "are you going to bed early?" When my mom text him back his response was I can explain that. How should my sister and I confront my dad or should we or what should we do? We want a definite yes or no if he has having an affair so we can my mom some help. Thanks. | My dad has been a little fishy about things and mom is driving herself crazy thinking my dad is having an affair or not loving her. |
t3_3rlven | relationships | Need advice with what to do about a relationship that ended about 3 months ago | So my ex boyfriend [20M] of a year and a half broke up with me [22F] about 3 months ago. I frankly have very strong feelings for him and I am unable to let go.
He says he loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now with anyone, not for a long time. He still acts like my boyfriend, he still wants to have sex with me, he sees me from time to time, but he just doesn't want to be with me. He claims the problem isn't me, it's that his feelings have changed about being in a relationship.
He'd rather play video games than hang out with me; i'm a video game fan too and we do play online sometimes, but he still prefers that over seeing me.
Quite frankly, I don't know what to think. He ignores my texts sometimes and I hate making myself too available for him. I have a life of my own but I don't know if I should move on or stick around and give this a chance.
Do you think he could possibly love me but not want to be with me? I'm very confused as I don't want to waste my time on someone who eventually wouldn't want me. | Should I let go of my ex boyfriend if he doesn't want to be with me but wants me in his life? |
t3_2spfi8 | tifu | TIFU lost possibility of job for being too honest | I just found reddit - so sorry for this being years old
Went for a IT job interview and got interviewed first by a couple of the senior devs. Then the questions became suspicous, so it went something like this
* Interviewer: So the company bought an API with source code and it doesn't work, what do you do
* Me: Report a bug to them and ask them to fix
* Interviewer: Say they refuse to fix it
* Me: Ask for the money back and return the software
* Interviewer: Yeah but you have the source, what about fixing yourself
* Me: Why would I pay money for a broken product and then pay more money to fix it myself?
* Interviewer: Yeah but we have the code and we recommended it
* (Alarm bells now - devs bought crappy software and were asking interview candidates how to fix their TIFU)
* Me: I'd admit I made a mistake and send the software back/write off the loss
2nd Stage of Interview with HR
* HR: So you are on a sales pitch what do you say
* Me: Why would you send a dev to a sales pitch?
* HR: Well so they can answer technical questions
* Me: So you send the one person who knows every single design and operational fault with your software to a prospective sales meeting and said dev is 100% likely not to have a sales mind set and just say anything unfiltered to a prospective customer?
* [
* Anyone that knows devs - you will often hear phrases like
* "Oh that never worked"
* "Yeah our code is just crap"
* "Yeah - we never finished that bit of code - will never work"
* ]
* HR: Errr...
For some reason never got the job :-) - but I am happy I did not so TIFU'ed the interview but escaped a bad job | Went to interview and probably lost the job by pointing out all their weak spots in the company |
t3_3d20yd | relationships | Me [28 M] with my ex [29 F], cheated on her, advice on moving on. | So it was about a year ago I met this girl at a bar, really nice person and all. I really liked her and all but I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. So i bought myself as much time as I could, still talking to her but trying to take it easy not rush into things, however from the start my relationship was sabotaged my ex.
Idk, fast forward 8 months, ex is still texting me and I'm losing my mind between jobs and being unable to please this new girl. I head out for drinks with friends, run into ex... bad things happen after that. I admit fault here. So, it's been like a year since she broke up with me. After all I'm sure she caught on that I was acting all weird and stuff, couldn't get that stuff out of my mind and instead I was dodgy all around and what not. So, it's about a year, if not longer now, and I still think of her, dream of her almost every night.
Now of course she blocked all means of communications with me, so it's not like I get a closure. Honestly I'm not sure it should required talking to her to get it. I just want the dreams to end. I refuse however to start dating another person until all of these thoughts and dreams are gone. What can I do to speed this up? Make this go away? Since we broke up I've been going to a psychologist but I don't know that it's helping really. I keep my self busy with my work and other projects so its not like I'm just sitting there doing nothing. Any thoughts? | Cheated on ex, can't get her out of my head now. How do stop thinking of her? |
t3_24958b | relationships | I think I [21M] losing interest in my nice, sweet, gf [21f] | She and I have been dating for a little under a year. She is super nice, smart, sweet, and loving. I was a little unsure about starting things with her because she's less attractive than girls I am used to dating (it sounds messed up, but its the truth) but she was determined and I was somewhat complacent. Things progressed from there and I started really liking her - she really does have a great personality and is fun to be with and talk to. But now I feel like she is way more into the relationship than I am, and thats making me become more disinterested. Now I notice all of the little things that she does that get me annoyed. I feel bored with the relationship but this could be my own fault, I haven't been putting too much effort in recently. Its going to be summer soon and I wont see her for a couple months. On top of that, she's gonna have a surgery this summer and I don't want to add to her stress by bringing up my hesitations. I dont know what to do. | Losing interest in extremely sweet, nice, girl friend, what should I do |
t3_d3ljc | AskReddit | I may have already stolen something. Help? | Alright so a package arrived at my house a week and a half ago. It wasn't for me-- it was for some lady whose name I've never seen before. I wrote "return to sender" on it, and left it in my mailbox, but nothing happened for 10 days.
Last night my friends and I got drunk. A friend opened the package using his drunk powers and-- oh God! -- there's an iPhone 4 inside.
I've tried everything I can to get the phone to this girl. I don't have her real address, but there was a number written on the iPhone box that I tried calling from a payphone, texting using AIM, and reverse-looking-up on White Pages. Turns out the number is not registered to anybody.
I'm considering one of two options, and I'll explain my rationale for each:
1) Keeping the iPhone. Technically, it is FedEx's fault for not obtaining a signature upon delivery. Obviously I'm exploiting some delivery guy's ineptitude, and more than likely, Apple's axe will fall on FedEx, not me. I'm certain the woman-customer will get a replacement phone from Apple, and Apple will hold FedEx responsible for the damages.
2) Calling Apple and seeing what they can do. This seems like the (mostly) morally correct thing to do, except I'm worried that it will get me in trouble, and that it might be unnecessary at this point, as a replacement phone for this woman would be on the way.
Can any of you guys lend any insight? I've already looked up a few things about Apple's tracking technology (they can't trace me if I don't use it as a phone), and about federal mailing laws (packages sent via FedEx are not protected by federal law), but what about APPLE'S policies? Are they gonna burn me if I try to contact them? Is it even worth the risk? | came across an iPhone in the mail. All attempts to get it to its original owner have failed. What do I do? |
t3_26fkdq | relationships | [Break-up] (22 M) I'm having a lot of trouble getting over my Ex (21F) after 7 months apart. | After getting out of my first semi-serious relationship 7 months ago I still have strong feelings for my ex. We only dated for around 5 months. It ended because she couldn't reciprocate the same level of affection that I showed and it became apparent we weren't on the same page in the relationship.
I feel like I'm not very emotionally mature because I don't have much experience with relationships and its making me sort of depressed. I don't know how to get passed or over my feelings for her. She clearly does not feel the same way so I'm trying my best to try to leave it in the past.
Part of the difficulty lies in the fact that I over think a lot of things and often daydream of situations where it works out or sometimes noticing a few red flags before the break up. I also have to deal with a reminder of it daily because we live only a few blocks away from each other and I have to walk passed her street to get to the nearest subway station in my city.
I've tried to meet other people, if only to get over her, but I've discovered I'm not the type for flings. Additionally if I find myself liking someone in a more romantic way I also feel guilt, because if I were to move forward (hypothetically, since I haven't yet) I don't think it would be fair to them that I'm still harboring feelings for someone else.
I'm mostly worried because the "getting over it" period has lasted longer than the relationship itself and the emotions interfere with my sleep and daily life occasionally. | [22 M]My ex [21F] and I broke up 7 months ago after a 5 month relationship. I still have strong feelings for her and need advice on getting over it. |
t3_2vui6a | relationship_advice | (F25)Hoping for feedback from others who have experienced this..newly occurring "erectile dysfunction" with my SO(M29) - moving forward and foreplay problems.. | I'm hoping to get some guidance from some of you who have perhaps experienced this. *Background: my SO and I have been together for almost a year now. We both had similar intense reactions to each other from the moment we met- compatibility wise and sexually. Our relationship has been through the ringer, due extreme and unexpected circumstances (quite frankly I'm still dealing with them), but we have prevailed.* However, over the last 3 months or so, he has had problems keeping an erection. I go back and forth between taking it personally and recognizing it has nothing to do with me sexually/personally- but you know, in the heat of the moment and when its reoccurring, its hard for something so personal not to feel..personal. Sometimes I even become paranoid he is cheating or something..stupid brain. When this happens (95% of the time lately) the only way he can get off is if I realllllly work at it he can only finish with a bj. Dont get me wrong I love every part of him and will do this. But I'm still dealing with a lot of confidence and sexual issues and plus I'm super sub- so I find it hard to sort of take the lead and try to "overcome" it each time. I'm not wanting to initiate sex anymore for fear of getting "turned down" and he doesn't much for obvious reasons. I feel like I'm starting to resent him for making me "do all the work" (please take loosely, I know its love not work) and also for feeling rejected. And then I feel selfish and sad for thinking this way. And on top of this, when sex starts to be an option there is 0 foreplay for me because we don't want to loose it..so its been uncomfortable to start and takes a lot of mental forcing myself to relax.. I need foreplay. and I'm a sexual being and its our language. I feel so lost. Sorry for the novel | SO having erection problems, resentment and lots of feelings, when it does happen its a rush not to loose it=0 foreplay= not very satisfactory for me |
t3_4yp8h6 | relationships | Me [23M] with my girlfriend [23F] of two months, kinda feel like an outsider among some of our friends. | My girlfriend had a birthday recently, and to celebrate we got together with a small group of friends.Unfortunately, this situation left me feeling awkward and like something of an outsider. See, we were all friends through the first year or so of college, but then most of them went on to become RAs on campus and, suddenly becoming busy with RA duties and other things, I found myself left behind and feeling somewhat abandoned. I dealt with it at the time and moved on with life, but, as something similar had happened in my senior year of high school, it stung a bit. Now anytime that I get together with them as a group I feel like an outsider, and like there's an elephant in the room, a feeling made all the more real by the fact that they often seem to think that I was with them in some of their situations, or had an experience that was more like theirs. It just sort of leaves me standing there thinking "yeaaah, about that" My girlfriend and I have a pretty communicative relationship, and I feel like I should tell her. Just looking for input. What do you folks advise? | Feel like an outsider around friends that I used to hang out with more, looking for advice on telling girlfriend (who is a part of that group). |
t3_3aslev | relationship_advice | (Is he [M/24] ignoring me [F/19]? | I need some advice on the situation and some insight on what's going on in his mind I guess.
Last Friday, I was texting him [M/24], he says somethings that rubbed me the wrong way, and I get mad. He texts me several times over the weekend and until Tuesday but I ignore him because I was busy getting ready for a vacation and just didn't feel like talking. I leave Wednesday, barely any signal on phone where I was. Text him Friday night, no response, and text him again Monday (Today). He reads all my texts but doesn't respond. Asked him if he was mad and I'm sorry, and still no response. He knows that I was going to be gone because I told him prior to this already, so I'm not sure what's going on and why he's ignoring me. Was it because I ignored him first? What should I do? Wait around for him to text me or should I text him? Hopefully someone can help and give me some advice with this situation. Thank you in advance. | Haven't talked to s/o in 9 days, was on vacation 5 out of those 9 days w/o phone signal. Come back and text him, reads texts no response. |
t3_2sx3ef | relationships | I [20F] think i'm in a toxic relationship with my boyfriend. [23M] He's not the problem. | I have been in my current relationship for around 6 months now. He is nearly perfect to me. This is easily the best relationship I've ever been in, and somehow, it's not good enough. Let me preface by saying I've been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD. I have put this boy through absolute hell, and he still loves me.
I'm starting to think this is a bad thing. Our relationship is causing problems with the people in our lives, (my room mate and him don't like each other, his brothers don't like me.) I've cheated on him. He still takes me back. I honestly don't know why I do these things.
Anyway. I feel like I'm a very toxic factor in his life, and he needs to let me go. He says he needs me in his life and refuses to. I'm just at a loss here... I've never been treated this well in a relationship, and i'm not sure how to handle it. | I think I'm toxic for my boyfriend, and I'm going to ruin his life. Should I break up with him? |
t3_2o4vrr | tifu | TIFU by leaving my stuff in my sister's bag. | My mother is a bit paranoid and insists that I escort my sister to the airport everytime she needs to fly out (we always take cabs because we live away from home and I don't own a car), despite her being in college already.
I decide to take the opportunity to get into work early today, so I take my work stuff with me. Since my sister has 2 pieces of luggage and I offer to lug the heavier one around, I try to be efficient by temporarily storing my own bag inside my sister's large suitcase.
When we get to the airport, we have a few minutes to spare, so my sister takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom and takes her suitcases with her because she forgot which one had her toiletries. I hear the initial boarding call for my sister's flight and think "well I hope she doesn't panic and trip on the way back here" (if anyone is familiar with how inefficient some airports are, the initial boarding call is usually 30 minutes from when you actually get to start boarding). Well, lo and behold my sister really did panic, but even moreso by going straight to her gate without saying goodbye, and forgetting that my bag was in her suitcase. I figured this out after 15 minutes of waiting like a dumbass. I was about to call her, but then I remembered that my phone was also in my bag.
I was able to call my mother on a payphone to airfreight my bag to me as soon as she met my sister at the airport. Luckily it's only an hour flight, with flights every other hour. | I left my work stuff in my sister's suitcase, she forgets it's there and boards her flight after going to the bathroom. |
t3_507hib | relationships | My (29f) SO (30m) moved in temporarily. He's moving out soon. How to re-define expectations for this change? | Here's the deal -
My SO (30M) and I (29F) had been together a few months before he moved in with me (temporarily). Under normal circumstances we wouldn't have moved in together so quickly, but his lease was up and he had a new place arranged for the fall when he is to start university again. It made the most sense for him to move into my apartment for the summer. We've been living together for three months, and everything has gone really well.
The time has now come for him to move into his new place. This was the plan all along, but I'm having more trouble than I expected with the idea of adjusting back to not living together. I can't help but feel like it's a step backwards in the relationship (although, again, under different circumstances we wouldn't have been living together at this point anyways), and it's really bumming me out.
I've talked to him about it, and he views this situation in a very straight-forward manner. He has assured me that his feelings about our relationship have not changed, but that we're just sticking to what was our original plan. For a multitude of reasons his new place makes the most sense for him with his class and work schedule, and the logical part of my brain completely understands and agrees. However, emotionally, I'm feeling sad and a bit insecure about him moving out.
Has anyone experienced this? Any tips for the adjustment? How does one go about re-defining expectations and boundaries in a healthy way with a change like this? | SO moved in for 3 months, is moving out now as planned. I'm bummed out. How to re-define expectations for when we no longer live together? |
t3_3bh3r7 | tifu | TIFU by filling my car with gas before a date | Happened Yesterday - I was rushing to get ready to pick up the girl (2nd date) and as I turn the car on I see that I am running low on fuel.
I go to the gas station and begin pumping gas, I use the lever thing that allows you to pump hands free. Just killing time when I hear the familiar "click" of the gas tank being full and the lever turning off.
I pull out the handle slowly (as usual) and as it comes out a bit I notice it is still pumping, but the pressure builds up and pushes the hose out and gas starts going all over; splashing my car and my jeans in the process.
I stop the handle, put it back on the pump and assess the damage. Jeans have a decent size splash on it. I use paper towels to try to dry it then use a squeegee to clean the gas from my car.
However, I am already running late. So I hit the road blasting the heater on my pants to dry them off. Unfortunately, I can still smell the gas. Fortunately, my vehicle is always prepared for almost any social emergency and I grab some cologne I keep in the glove box (don't judge me) and proceed to drown my pants with cologne to mask the gas smell.
Pick up the girl, third date, she's a very sweet girl. She remarks on the abundance of cologne smell immediately, I say I accidentally spilled cologne on myself. Feeling quite good that she hasn't smelled the gas, we continue on our date.
Fast forward to the end of the evening and we are chilling in my car kissing and such. She complains of a headache and nausea, asks if we can roll the windows down to get some fresh air. Windows down and she remarks; "so much better, I can breath. no offense but your cologne really smells like gas. Next time I see you please don't wear it. Can you take me home please."
All in all she was very polite about it... Texted her today saying hope she was feeling better. No response yet... | spilled gas on myself before a date, tried to mask it with cologne, thought it worked until date felt sick and told me to take her home. |
t3_2dsaea | relationship_advice | I (M/16) have a friend (F/16) that I like more than a friend. How can I tell if the feeling floats both ways? | I have known her since we were in the 5th grade. I became friends with her friends (mostly boys), and through them I became her friend. I developed a crush on her within a year or two of becoming her friend (so around 4-5 years ago) and it has lingered ever since.
Our entire group of friends has always hung out together, usually with about 5-7 boys and she was always the only girl. We are unlike other teenagers though- coming from similar backgrounds, we are all very childish compared to other teenagers. Speaking from my own experience, maybe 2 or 3 of our mutual (guy) friends have had girlfriends or even have kissed a girl. I have not, and she has not. (She had not kissed a boy, I mean.)
So anyway, whenever we all hang out I try to pay more attention to her than other friends, and she seems to pay more attention to me. For example, when it gets dark outside we would play a game called "sardines" in which one person hides and the rest of the people try to find this person. People sometimes walk in groups of 2 or 3, and more often than not, she likes to walk with me.
.
.
Should I even attempt to delve into this relationship, despite the fact that it could make things incredibly awkward within our friend group?
How can I find out whether she likes me as much as I like her- without her knowing I like her? Or, if she must know I like her, how could I tell her in a way that wouldn't make things awkward between us? ("Us," meaning between me and her and/or between me and my friends)
Would confronting her through text messaging be the best option? Or is this considered rude in some way? Otherwise, the only time I see her face-to-face is while hanging out (I don't go to school with her any longer). | I have no experience with relationships and I want to start one with a friend. |
t3_4yez5b | relationships | Should I buy her flowers even though she is "talking" to someone else? | I'm [28]M and she is [25]F
Im going to keep this short as possible. I was seeing a girl for 10 months but my dumbass self failed to see what I had in front of me. A beautiful amazing woman. I didn't treat her how she should have been treated, I abuse her emotionally, and just never really validated our relationship. To makes matter worse I got greedy and got another girl number. She found out and we basically stop talking ish. Anyways nothing really happen cause I felt bad and we didn't get the chance to talk about it because I began my last semester of bachelors. (19 credit hours so I was super busy) Well now I finished school, returned to work (where we both work at the same place) and found out that she just started talking to someone else. Well obviously I got jealous and tried to win her back. I failed big time... In Fact i think I may have pushed her away and scared her off. Now we don't talk at all and we kind of avoid each other. I still have feelings for her. So my question is if I should buy her flowers for her birthday even though she is talking to someone? She likes this person they talk everyday and see each other once a week according to her. I probably shouldn't but I still want to buy her flowers as an attempt to win her back or by the very least to just do a nice gesture. let me know what you guys think..... :( | I failed to realize I had someone special and no we are no longer talking. We unfortunately work together and her birthday is coming up soon. I don't know if I should send her flowers even though she is "talking" to somebody. |
t3_1g9jbm | relationships | I (F18) couldn't fall back asleep this morning and my boyfriend(m20) kept yelling at me so I left and now he's mad... | We've been together a year. We were in bed at his house, and I could not sleep at all this morning. I woke up around 5 to pee and could not fall back asleep. My boyfriend was getting upset because I was using my phone to pass the time, and at one point said " you're done using your phone". I said sorry and tried to fall back asleep, but I just couldn't and looked at my phone again and he got mad and said he was exhausted because of me. I set it to lowest light so i wouldn't interrupt him. So I figured the best plan of action was just to head home then (7:30) so he could sleep before work and I could get ready for work at my house (2 miles away). I said "I love you and ill let you get some rest" to him and he said love you too. I think he only realized I was going till he saw my clothes on and told me I didn't have to leave.
I tried to explain that I couldn't sleep and I was just going to get ready for work early because I was up and I didn't want to keep him up. He got pretty mad, and when I was outside he shouted out the window " I can't believe you're actually leaving", and again I tried to explain to him that I'm not mad at him, I just don't want to interrupt his sleep. And he said " just lay back down for another hour". I didn't really feel like getting yelled at for another hour and not at least being productive while I was up, so I told him " I love you, I'll see you tonight!" He was just like WOWW, and shut the window. Then I get a call from him telling me to come back and saying how I can't believe you left, I didn't know how to explain it any other way :( then after I tell him sorry he texts me and tells me we're drifting apart and he'll see me *sometime*... Reddit help me understand this please . | I couldn't sleep this morning so I went back to my house early so my boyfriend could sleep, but now he's angry at me and isn't accepting any explanations* |
t3_10gbjb | Advice | Forced to transfer to another job location. Fight it or go? | I used to work @ location A. Started at this location and was promoted twice there over a 18 month period. I was forced to move to location B; a higher volume store, which I worked less hours but made more commission. (work in sales... I make 12.75/hr and commission ranging anywhere from $400 to 2k a month). After 11 months here and decently impressive sales I'm being told I must go back to location A, because they lost a staff member. Since I left location A, it's gone to shit in sales, and I fear that I'll be making about $3-500 less a month due to commission. The only benefit I see in going back is that location A is within walking distance wheras location B is 1 hr bus ride every day back and forth. I'd probably make the same amount of hours, but I calculated the last 10 months I worked at both locations, and it was a difference of about $0.40/hr commission, and that was when the store was actually making money, and now it doesn't make 75% of what it used to. Lastly I was moved to location B to supposedly "move up in the company", and this essentially will be a demotion in both pay and position in the company (High volume store rep is valued more than a lower volume). What would u do? | being told I must go to a store that I'll make less money at. The ONLY benefit I see is that it's extremely close to where I live, but everything else is a con. |
t3_1stkhq | relationships | I [24F] just broke up with my boyfriend [31 M] of 2.5 years. I don't know what to do now. | Sorry for the length.
I just broke up with my boyfriend last night. I know it's not easy to get over someone, and especially right away, but I did it because I'm madly in love with him and the feelings aren't mutual and never will be. He was convinced that he was ruining my 20s and me finishing college (which would never happen).
We had a lot of fun together. He was actually the one person who would go do things with me. I didn't have to try to convince him or his friends to go do crazy shit with me. I can't even get my friends to get out of their houses most of the time.
We never argued about anything. We never had to because when we(I) had issues with something, we would sit down and talk about how to fix something. It was seemingly a very healthy relationship.
I got tired of the fact that instead of talking to me about things that were bothering him, he would stop talking to me altogether for a couple days. We never lived together and he lives almost 40 minutes from me. We only saw each other on the weekends, and even then, it wasn't every weekend. He and I both weren't happy. However, instead of being honest with himself and me, he would have kept this going in our weird sort of way I think to keep from letting himself feel lonely.
What bothers me the most about this whole situation is that even though I broke up with him, I don't know what to do because I did not want this. I've done so much thinking about this for months now that I don't want to think about it anymore. What do I do? What's the best way to get over someone you thought you may potentially spend the rest of your life with? | I just broke up with the love of my life and I am tired of overanalyzing the situation. What do I do now? |
t3_2gjii3 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my gf [28 F], im getting married soon but things have got so awkward in the bedroom that i have a panic and lose my erection | So, ive got into a little trouble. this issue has been going on for 8 months or so and I will be getting married in 5 months months and me and my gf have slowly become more and more uneasy with each other in the bedroom. we've been together for about 6 years or so.
it has got so bad that i end up losing my erection with her while we have sex. i think due to not being into it with her (sex) when this all started, now i have got some sort of panic disorder with trying to have sex with her. when we start having sex, i suddenly think about my erection problems and if im enjoying it or not, and before i know it, im having a full blown anxiety feeling of sweating and ED.
i dont know how this has come about about but i have basically become scared to have sex with my fiance. i cant just relax and have sex with her naturally. i'm constantly thinking about it and it is definitely causing a few issues between us. im worried i dont fancy her and dont want to go near her body as much as i want to go near other girls and she feels closed off and doesnt want to let me near her anymore.
what can i do to make this better? i just want to go back to the time where ED with my gf wasn't even a thing.
any advice is most welcome at this time of panic. | i have become scared of having sex with my fiance and get ED lots of the time when we try and have sex. |
t3_33w5gy | relationships | Boyfriend[24m] is completely dependent on me[21f] and has no friends anymore | So at the end of 2013 I met a great guy and we quickly became a couple. He wasn't working then but had a lot of savings and lived with two friends. Very quickly he stopped hanging out with them to spend time at my place even when I was working as he wanted to be with me and play games and listen to music.
Over time he spent most of his savings as he paid all the rent for his house and would constantly buy gig and festival tickets for the people he lived with.
Now its a year on and he has spent his savings and neglected his friendships to the point of just not talking to people much anymore. I'm completely supporting him as he doesn't want to get a job but keeps saying he will. He still refuses to rsally see people now claiming he has no friends but is happy.
I'm not sure this is healthy and I want to encourage him to be independent but he won't have it. I don't feel comfortable having what feels like power over my partner. What do I do? | My boyfriends whole life is hanging out in my house playing games and ignoring his friends. What do? |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.