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t3_2h07uh | relationships | Me [36 M] with my brother [28 M], can I help him get out and socialize? | My younger brother has had very few friends growing up. It's kind of how we were raised, my father was EXTREMELY antisocial, so going out/bringing people over was highly discouraged. I was raised when we lived with my mother's parents, so there was other influences. Also, I went away to college. As a result, while I don't have a big circle of friends, I do have one.
He, however, has had like two friends that I know of ever. He's gone out with one girl ever.
He graduated from an online school recently, and is working on getting his first full time job. He constantly tells me how he wants a girlfriend, but refuses to take any of my advice. Get to a gym (he's not in terrible shape, but a gym would tighten him up a bit), get out of the house, talk to people, stop looking for a *girlfriend* and just make some friends, the girl will follow. He's very stubborn though, and starting to get bitter and more like my father, very picky and judgemental about people.
It was fine when he was younger, but he's getting old(er), and I feel it's getting to the point where his lack of experience with women and socializing in general is going to be a problem.
I don't want to see my brother become a miserable, lonely person for the rest of his life. But I don't know if there's anything I can do to help.
Ironically, currently, my circle has moved away, and is busy with marriage and kids, so I don't really have people I can bring him to socialize with.
Neither of us drink or really like being around people who are, so going out to bars isn't an answer. | How do I help my 28 year old socially inexperienced brother get out and eventually find a girl? |
t3_jdx69 | AskReddit | Accidentally took a xanax help? | So I've been having a really shitty day combined with a headacheand asked a coworker for some pain killers like advil or naproxen sodium. They pulled out a bottle and gave me one. I took it. About 20 minutes later they tell me they gave me the wrong thing, they gave me a xanax (moral is don't keep your prescription downers in with your pain killers) . What can I do? I can purge now because it's been in me too long. What can I expect and how long will it last? I've never taken anything like this before. They didn't do it on purpose and I didn't notice anything was wrong with the pill because it does look kind of like the normal naproxen sodium I take but I still don't know what to do. | pain killer mixed up with xanax what to expect, how long will it last, and what do? |
t3_112pf7 | AskReddit | What times throughout your life has something occurred that made you think about your mortality, and are you scared of death? | It's happened to me quite a few times. I tend to not think about death too much, as it is something I see as far away. Sometimes, however, as I am lying in bed, see death on the news, or hear talk of how the world will be centuries from now, I am hit with realization that sooner or later I will be gone, and my hole life will be that of the past, with no more future ahead of me. I'm not necessarily terrified of death, but the thought is depressing as there is so much to live for, and so much that one would have to give up. I know not whether I'll be greeted after death by some form of creator, casting judgment upon me, reflecting my decisions in life. Perhaps the only thing to greet me will be eternal darkness, void of any life or feeling. I just don't know. I suppose the only thing anyone can do is live life to the fullest and do well by others. Appreciate every moment and don't take life for granted, as it can be stolen from us at any time. | I don't think much about death, but sometimes a reality check will come upon me and I realize my days are slowly diminishing every second that goes by. I try to live life to the fullest. Although I don't fear death, I am curious as to what awaits me after, and at the same time I am sad I will have to leave behind everything I have come to know and love. |
t3_3zsw71 | relationships | Am I [19m] wrong to lie by omission about my past? | So jumping into this quickly I have a decent history of anti-social behavior that ranges from minor to pretty severe.
This girl[20F] I have been talking to for some time now while got upset when she found out about some of these things, saying that it really changed how she saw me.
Almost everyone in my life at this point doesn't know about any of this in detail besides my therapist and even then I haven't been completely honest with him.
So my question is am I wrong to lie about my history in order to avoid people getting the wrong idea about me? | Lie about my history of anti-social behavior so that friends/relationships don't think I'm a terrible person. |
t3_3p752y | relationships | Me [24 F] with my Husband [25 M]. I am thinking about divorce. I don't know if I should | I am thinking about divorcing my husband, because I am tired of being in an unhappy long distance relationship. My husband is in the military, and I live 400 miles away from him while I am working towards a career.
My husband and I got married two years ago. We dated for 4 years before we decided to go to the magistrate's office. We were in a long distance relationship before we married but everything was so different then. He would always try to visit me at least once a month. He was always very kind and sweet. Now that we are married our long distance relationship is not that great.
When we are together he makes me so happy. But when we are apart from each other he is very distant and cold. He will call me names if he thinks I did or say something stupid. He tells me things like how I am a loser because I don't have friends. This is a problem for him because he has a bunch of friends that always want to go to the clubs, or to the bars and wants me to go out too. Every time we have an argument for any problem small or large he always brings up divorce. I always tell him that if he really wants it then I will give it to him, and he always changes his mind.
What should I do? I know he might be stressing out because of his military job, he does have more responsibilities than before. I do love him, like I said he makes me happy when we are together. | I am thinking about giving my husband the divorce, because of our unhappy long distance relationship. |
t3_1tvx8j | relationships | I [18M] am very depressed and worrying about it getting to my boyfriend [19M] | For starters, I'm on medication and seeing a counselor.
We have a good relationship, and have been seeing each other for the past year. He's very very kind and lovely to me; a few days ago, he gave me the first proper Christmas I've ever had. He puts up with me being anxious and sad. I do my best to be as good to him, and most of the time I think I'm doing pretty well.
It's just that sometimes - too often - I get into a bad headspace and it feels like I can never ever be happy, and that reflects in our communication. I get brusque and can brush off affection. I'm trying, it's just... you know?
How do I help with this? | depressed. |
t3_2licer | relationships | I [20/M] have my first date with a girl [21/F] from home when I'm on leave. | So basically that's just it. I'll be on leave for the month of December and I asked this extremely cute girl from home on a date. Neither of us have been on an official date as in dinner and all that good stuff.
I was just wondering how should I go about this? Because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. Pretty much if I could get some insight on how to go about everything from picking her up, to dropping her off at her house. Obviously I know how to pick her up.. I'm asking as far as good places to go, fun things to do after dinner things like that.
Keep in mind neither of us have been on a date so I was kind of assuming that both of us having no clue what to expect things would just kind of workout and the night would be a success regardless of what we did. | I'm new at dating and need some advice on how to go about the night. |
t3_1t4txa | relationships | [19F] My overbearing mother has issues with me sleeping at my bf's [18M] | I hope this is the right place for this.
I go to college about a mile away from my boyfriend, who goes to a nearby college. I live in the dorms on my campus and he lives in his own apartment nearby. I usually sleep over 1 or 2 nights a week when I'm at school.
We are both from the city we are going to school in, and I am home for the holidays at my parent's house. My mother will not allow me to sleep over at his place, which I wanted to do because he will be out of town for the next 2 weeks, missing my birthday and christmas.
I made straight a's this quarter and have never been in any trouble. I'm very responsible and am hurt that she won't allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend, who I trust and like very much. Whenever I try to bring the issue up she gets even more upset with me and tells me to stop talking to her.
She doesn't know I sleep over often when school is in session...and I guess I shouldn't tell her either. I just wish she could trust me and my bf. Is there any way around this?
We have been together for a couple months now. | Mother won't allow me to spend the night at bf's apartment, want to show her it's not a big deal. |
t3_159ppl | relationships | My girlfriend [16] broke up with me two weeks ago, and now I'm [17m] getting mixed signals from her best friend [16f]. | Ok, long story. Please don't disregard just because I'm in high school.
So, back in August of 2011, I had a a conflict between these two girls. I told the best friend (we'll call her Anna) that I liked her, but she said she didn't really like me in a relationship kind of way. Shortly after, things happened between me and not-yet-girlfriend (we'll call her Betty) and we bagan dating. This continued until about two weeks ago, when she broke up with me because she "just didn't love me anymore."
During my relationship, I occasionally had feelings for Anna but I repressed them because I wanted to be loyal to Betty. After Betty and I broke up, after the initial sadness, those feelings for Anna came rushing back. As soon as two days after the break up, she started flirting with me.
Flash forward to tonight, when I was with my main group of friends: 4 other guys and 3 girls (including Anna and Betty). Betty has to leave early, and once she leaves, Anna all of the sudden sits down next to me and gets real close. By the end of the night, she's resting her head on my shoulder.
First of all, I don't even know if Anna's interested in me, but I imagine that she is. If she is, I don't know how to handle this. Anna and Betty are best friends. So r/relationships, what do I do about this situation now? Am I overreacting? | My ex-girlfriend's best friend and I might have feelings for each other and I don't know what to do about it, might be overreacting. |
t3_uotx7 | relationships | When should I pop the question? | I'm 23 male, she's 22. We met in undergrad and have been dating for 4 1/2 years now. We both just finished our first year of law school, at different schools in different states, but try and see one another at least once a month. I was thinking of possibly proposing when we go to the homecoming football game at our undergrad in October (which will be right around our 5 year anniversary as well), but because we both have 2 years of school left and the summer after we graduate will be dedicated to studying for the bar, I'm wondering if I should wait a bit (perhaps the following year's homecoming?) because if I do it this October we won't be able to get married for at least 2 years. | Should I propose if we won't be able to get married for 2+ years? |
t3_3g1h67 | tifu | TIFU I Went Out Of My Way To Waste Time And Money. | This just happened, and I had to compose myself before I could draft up this post.
I work for a distributor that prides itself on our level of customer service. I received a message from a customer. They gave us the wrong address to ship an order to. I saw that the package was still intransit to the wrong address, so I knew that I would be able to have the carrier intercept the package, but I had to act quickly.
So, I contacted the carrier. I give the carrier the tracking number, and the new correct address. The carrier says that it will cost $36 to reroute the package. That is fine, I tell them. The customer really needs the parts.
Okey doke. The change is made. I send a message back to the customer that we were able to reroute the package. This whole transaction took about a half hour to complete. I sit back for a moment and revel in my skills.
But. Then. Wait. Hold on. Did I have to go through all of that?
I check the value of the order. The total value of the order is only $5. And the part on the order is a part that we have thousands in stock. For that low value, I could simply and literally have just shipped the order all over again to the correct location, for free, and just told the customer to forget about the original order. It would have cost a lot less, and only taken 2 minutes to do.
To add more dismay, when I saw the new adjusted expected delivery date to the new corrected address, the customer would have gotten the parts sooner by a couple days if I had just entered a new order for them, instead of needlessly traversing the gauntlet that I decided to subject myself and my company to in modifying the already intransit order. | If I had actually taken the easy way out, it would have been better in all facets of the issue. Ugh. |
t3_37gi6m | relationships | Am I [28/F] being paranoid or is he [28/M] losing interest? | I met a guy on tinder. He is an American born Chinese who has been sent to work in my country. He has been here since last year. So we went on a date which I thought went pretty well since he asked to see me a day after. That led to subsequent dates. On the fifth date, I went over to his house and we had sex which I admit was pretty fast.
We continued seeing each other and I would stay over at his place. So one day I asked if we were dating or in a relationship. He paused for awhile before replying yea we are in a relationship.
Fast forward today, sometimes I feel like he doesn't really like me, like he is just playing with me. I am looking for a serious relationship and the fact that he wants to return home in a year, makes me feel I am just a fling. But I have emphasised many times that I want to settle down and I don't want to waste my time.
Recently, he has been distant and communication less frequent. I also don't feel he is really putting in any effort. My friends think it's because he already got what he wanted aka sex so he is being complacent. Is it true that guys lose interest when sex happens too soon? | losing interest after sex and just playing with me. |
t3_qofm5 | relationships | I cheated, but I'm hellbent on getting his trust back. Is there anything I can do to save the relationship? | I'm 16, he's 17. we've been dating for over 9 months
My boyfriend and I happen to be a couple of pretty mature beings. Last night however, I was extremely immature. All this month I have been extremely stressed over pressure from my sports, home, and school marks; he had been just brushing me off and not really helping me deal.
I went to a party last night (without my boyfriend) and let go. Nothing went through my mind at all, so when one of my friends kissed me, I didn't even react. I just let it happen, and felt disgusting afterwards. I told my boyfriend today what happened, and he's devastated.
I'm losing my mind trying to get him to understand that I'm sorry and that I want to work through it, but I need help. Is there a way to prove my loyalty to him at all? I'll hear anything at this point. | kissed another guy at a party, boyfriend is in hysterics and so am I. Is there something more I can do to make the situation better? |
t3_ouezm | AskReddit | A start up company wants me to send work in for evaluation. | Hey Reddit. I have been trying to find a job for awhile in the gaming industry and living in NY is tough for this need. I finally got a nibble and i went in for an interview. Towards the end i was asked to send one of my projects in so they can evaluate my code to see if i am any good. During the interview i was asked several questions and answered them all with no problem. I even showed some of my code and the interviewer agreed that it was quite difficult to code. So what i am wondering is should i send in one of my projects with my code and assets for evaluation or is this a scam? | Company wants my project to evaluate my coding skills when i showed some of it already. Is this a scam or should i move forward with this? |
t3_1madfj | relationship_advice | Help me [19m] understand how she's [18f] feeling.. | Hey /r/relationship_advice.
My and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years. Everything is great, we love each other and we get along amazing. No problems within our relationship except one thing that happened around a year ago.
Let me just say that my girlfriend doesn't want a kid until she's in her early 20s, she always tells me this is a bad time for a kid and she doesn't want one right now. Well, like I said, around a year ago, she told me she had a miscarriage. I felt freaked out because we never even know she was pregnant, while she was also shocked and very upset. She wouldn't stop crying at the time. I held her at the time and just let her cry on my shoulder during this period. Around this time she asked me if I was upset about the miscarriage and to be honest, so I told her I was upset she had to go through the miscarriage, however I'm also relived I'm not having a kid (she told me she would never have an abortion). I know this was probably a mistake, she was angry and upset at that time with me and kept asking why but I was just confused. I thought she told me she doesn't want a kid?
Up until this point, occasionally she mentions the miscarriage and how we could have a baby right now. She gets upset. I don't understand this. She always tells me how she doesn't want a kid, then she brings this up and wants to talk about it. I don't know what to say at all.
Should I feel bad for feeling relived I don't have a kid right now? When she brings these feelings up, what should I do? | Girlfriend had miscarriage, always tells me she doesn't want a kid right now or soon, gets upset sometimes thinking about the kid. How can I understand? |
t3_1pxis4 | relationships | New Relationship, Need Help With Where its Heading | Hi r/relationships, I've came out from lurking to make an account specifically for this issue.
I've (20M) recently met a great girl (20 as well), and we've seemed to hit things off. Our personalities click, as far as I can tell, and we are now dating after going out for with a group of mutual friends, and discovering we have feelings for each other. Things got fairly physical that night, and I could not have been happier the way things turned out.
Sounds great right? The problem is we only have a limited amount of time together, I have to move back home across the country in a few months, and visiting would be difficult, we'd probably only see each other a couple times a year, as I am going into a new college program.
Because of this, I am hesitant to get too involved with this girl, despite what could be. I can't help but think ahead to the difficulties of a long distance relationship, of which I have no experience.
Adding to my problems, I'm not the type of person to move quickly in a relationship. I'm quite reserved and awkward at first. I in theory would like things to get physical quickly, but don't know how to take that step, and don't know if she would be into that. It's also been about 2 years since being intimate with anyone, so I guess inexperience is another of my worries.
Enough rambling, I guess I'm just looking for advice on how I should play this. Is it as simple as sitting down and asking her what she wants out of this relationship. How do I open up a conversation such as that without being too forward? I know I'm not the best at communication in that sense, and I get the feeling she isn't as well.
Sorry for the scatter-brained post, it's late, and I am thinking too much. If anyone has any thoughts, or experience in such a situation, it would be appreciated. Thanks for any help. | Met a new girl, kissed her after learning we have feelings for each other, now dating, but am hesitant to move things forward due to only having 3 months before moving 8 hours across the country. Would like thoughts/advice |
t3_1ouh4t | AskReddit | How do adults act v.s kids when faced with a language barrier | When I was younger I spent a lot of time around kids who spoke different languages or had trouble with english. I only spoke russian which would would make it difficult to talk to other kids that came from different countries but it wasnt. On one occasion I met a girl my age who only spoke german. Somehow we were still able to "talk" to each other and play even though we didnt know what the other was saying. Another time in first grade a girl moved to america from china. She didnt know a word of english yet i would still be able to communicate to her and play while most of the other kids stayed away. What I wanted to ask was do you guys have any similar expeiriences and how would an adult react when faced with this kind of challenge? | kids speak different languages kids still understand each other How do adults face language barriers |
t3_2ik11g | relationship_advice | [21/m] need help defining my relationship with [21/f] | Both of us are are in college right now We've known each other for about two years. We've been hooking up on and off for that whole time, but recently we've grown really close. Close to the point where the last two months we sleep in the same bed together nearly every night see each other every day.
Recently one friday night, that we weren't planing to go out together, we both (very) drunkenly ran into each other at a bar and got into an argument. The argument is more or less irrelevant but it forced us, at least me, to look at our relationship and try to define what we are.
I want to be able to call her my girlfriend and be in an exclusive relationship with her. We both really like each other I don't know what else to call a girl that I spend every night with. She says she isn't sure what she wants. She said she likes to be spontaneous and feels that's not fair to me even if she's not hooking up with other guys. She feels like a relationship would tie her down.
So I told her that for my well being if I'm going to be hooking up with her, especially the way we have been, I need to be in an exclusive relationship with her. And if she doesn't want to that I can't see her the way we've been seeing each other. I like her too much to think about her with other people or to not be able to call her my girlfriend. I may even love her so its hard for me to say I want to end if she says no but I think I would need to do that for me, if that makes sense.
Am I being unfair to her basically giving her an ultimatum? Am I wrong to think that I couldn't keep hooking up with her if she said she wanted to see other people as well? I'm terrified she will say no and I honestly don't want to follow though with not seeing her at all, even if I think that would be best for me. Any advice will help, thanks. | I've been hooking up with a girl on/off for two years. We've been getting serious the last two months to the point we spend nearly every night together. I gave her ultimatum to be exclusive or basically nothing at all |
t3_thlzi | AskReddit | Got Jumped at a Party Last week, is there Anything I can do? | I went to a graduation party for a girl I know last weekend, I'm not from the town and I got pretty drunk. Unprovoked some guy jumped me and punched me 3-4 times, breaking my nose. I know the guys name, there was a cop outside the party who told me the fight was consensual. Went to the hospital, cleaned myself up since there wasn't a doctor on call, and went for x-rays the next morning.
So my question is, since I was drunk, everyone else was drunk too, the cop said it was consensual, is there anything I can do to charge the guy? | Got my ass kicked, is there anything I can do? |
t3_3z1opu | relationships | Me [18 M] confused about [18 F] | So, i was out on a night out and found myself talking to this girl who has recently came out of a 4 year relationship. We hit it off and i got her number. I then went on a walk with her and watched a film, it was a really good day. But just after new year she text me saying that its all moving too quick and she wants to leave it. Im guessing shes not over her ex and i dont mind that atall. Also has anyone been in the same situation that could tell me what happened to them. | What should i do? Carry on trying to speak to her or just give her time and hope for the best. I could see a good future with us 2. |
t3_46whkb | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [25 F] 5 months; has negativity/throws temper tantrums | My girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher. She is also getting her Master's degree in teaching. I am getting burned out, because a.) Sometimes she can be negative and b.) She throws temper tantrums.
For example, for a.), she enthuiastically wanted to go to the gym with me, but once we got to the gym, she did not want to try any of the workouts I recommended, instantly rejecting any idea I threw out. Eventually, she opened up, and we played basketball together, which she really enjoyed. The problem is, before that, I felt like I was struggling with her the entire time.
As an example for b.), Sometimes she asks me to help her with homework. On two occasions, I have just started to help her with an assignment, only for her to explode and start yelling that "I'm wrong". Both times, I ended up being right about what to do, but that's besides the point. I don't like being talked to like that, and it's worse because she is the one asking me for help to begin with. This also wastes a lot of my time, because she ends up refusing to talk to me all day after I lose my patience and tell her I don't want to help her when she acts that way.
I should also mention, my girlfriend will usually eventually apologize after acting like this, but it's getting more-and-more frequent.
I do not want to break up with her (this is absolutely last resort). I really just wish there wasn't anger outbursts/frequent negativity. I feel like this is something she has learned and working with kids that have outbursts probably doesn't help. Also, there could be deeper issues, as my girlfriend told me her mom used to frequently beat her as a kid when she made mistakes (seems like she came from an angry household, or at least an abusive one), and she is an only-child (I know this is not an excuse, but laying everything on the table). Sometimes, I think she doesn't realize when she is going overboard. | Girlfriend can have a short temper, and I'm not exactly sure what to do other than break-up or suggesting therapy, which she probably would not do. |
t3_17q0r0 | Advice | Need advice on college | Thanks in advance for your help. No one in my school seems to know what there talking about. My freshman and sophomore years of highschool were terrible. i didnt try and even failed one class. Im a junior in high school now and im making a's and b's except for in my AP classes.
My unweighted gpa is now a 2.2 and my weighted gpa is a 2.8.
(I had a 1.9 unweighted at the end of last year so I'm definitely showing an upward trend). My SAT score; 550- reading 510- math 460- writing. DEFINITELY taking again.
My family expects me to go to a 4 year school and I really don't want to miss out on the experience of the first year of college so what can I do?
I was thinking I could take summer school classes this summer and take extra classes the first semester of my senior year so I could graduate Early. If I graduated early I could start my first semester of college and then do the second semester of the summer so I could apply as a transfor student.
Is this something that is possible or am I going to just have to stick it out and miss my first year at real university?
**( | ) Unweighted gpa- 2.2 Weighted gpa- 2.8 |
t3_35mxxw | legaladvice | PA: Is there a way to just give a house back to the mortgage company? Argh! | Ex died last year. Son is personal rep of the estate. We've spent all this time trying to get in house due to crazy tenant. Finally did this weekend. Sump pump broke a while ago so the guy rigged something that is supposed to pump toilet water outside if he dumps water in it. ZOMG, the smell is unbelievable. That, and the amount owed on the property have convinced my son to just let the bank take it (it's in foreclosure). We called mortgage peeps requesting to just sign a deed in lieu on behalf of the estate. They won't take it! They want my 19-year-old who lives 10 hours away to refinance the house. They said they're suspending the foreclosure. They also said that, in order to do a deed in lieu, we have to hire a real estate agent, put the house on the market, try to sell it and THEN maybe the mortgage company will buy it on a short sale.
We're honestly trying to help the mortgage company out here. The house can't be sold in it's current condition. The longer it sits, the more likely it will be to have to be condemned (there are structural issues). The tenant is creating a situation from living there with no water and no refrigerator (so there are rodents). We are NOT driving back out there. We spoke with three tiers of people at Chase and they were all script reading monkeys. I've left messages with the foreclosure attorneys but they haven't gotten back with us yet. Is there anything we can do or do we have to just wait it out until Chase finally takes the property?
BTW, tenant is supposed to be out Friday due to eviction proceedings on our part, but we have no way of knowing if that's going to happen. | Anyone want a stinky, rat-infested house for not cheap at all? |
t3_wjykg | AskReddit | What have you seen unfold in front of you, that in retrospect, you wish you had intervened? | Something I saw today would make most people cringe, but I was into too much shock to get angry at the guilty party. I was at the local shopping mall, getting something real quick. This young child, at most 5, was running around everywhere and generally being a little brat while his parents were yelling at him. At one point, the parents had enough and they did something I consider as child abuse. The father took him by the shirt and belt, lifted him up and started swinging the kid over the guard rail, like he was going to throw the child down 3 stories. Obviously, the child was quick to apologize, and his dad put him back down. The kid was livid afterwards, crying, but his parents got what they wanted, and the kid was quiet. | Parents tried to teach their kid manners by threatenning to kill him by chucking him off a building. |
t3_3tnuqe | tifu | TIFU by using a fleshlight. | It was a cold night, the atmosphere was perfect, slightly cold, but good enough to just you know, do my thing.
I thought to myself, "should I do it?" "Yeah I should." (This is at around 2 in the morning. I rarely ever use my fleshlight, but when I do, the circumstances have to be perfect) I get up, go to my restroom and got it prepared. Here's where I fuck up. I have no locks in my door, i never know when people open it either because it's so silent, so as I got my fleshlight prepared, turned on the faucet, and put the lube; the process took around 2 minutes to prepare, and since I wanted to use it laying down I stuck it in my weinerkebab and got out the restroom door. Right when I get out I hear a loud scream. My sister. She tried to scare me..... On video. So I'm just standing there naked with a fleshlight on my dick in sheer terror, completely mortified at how unexpected it would be to see my own sister scare me at 2 in the damn morning. This happened 10 minutes ago, and I don't know what to do with myself. I ended up still using it tho! | Sister got a video of me ass naked about to use a fleshlight. |
t3_prwgs | AskReddit | I almost got kidnapped but didn't realize it until years later. Reddit, what is something catastrophic that has almost happened to you? | So I was I'd say around 10 years old, and my family decides to take the dog for a walk. I decide I want to rollerblade, and make big circles around my family as they walk. At one point I end up a block ahead of my family, and a rusty beat up truck pulls up and stops, and a dude jumps out. I remember him having a super short beard.
He says "hey kid, check this out!" and he pulls out a skateboard, and rides it on the street and says "pretty cool skateboard huh kid? You want it?" I, being completely happy with my roller blades, say "no thank you!" He says "come on! It's free! Just come over here and take it!" I say "No, I like my rollerblades!"
At this point, he looks down the street and sees my family walking up the street. Without saying anything to me, he throws his skateboard in the back, jumps in his truck and drives away. I never thought it was weird, didn't tell my parents, in my head it was "some dude tried to give me a skateboard I didn't want!" 10 years later I'm like HOLY FUCK. THANK GOD I DIDN'T FUCKING LIKE SKATEBOARDS. | Didn't get kidnapped because I thought skateboards suck. |
t3_2xbz0s | relationships | I [18 M] am crushing on a [18 F] working in a store across from me. How to react? | Hey r/relationships! I've been working at this store for about a month and have recently met this beautiful lady working across from my store. I guess I've developed quite a crush on her because I feel fluttery when I see/think about her! I have received her number and have been texting each other for a bit. The thing is is that while texting, I have been asking most of the questions trying to learn more about her but only receiving one or two line answers. Along with this we give out the occasional "hi's" and "byes" when going to and leaving our workplace. I have been through a couple of relationships, and I can honestly say that the other girls did not "hit me" as hard as this one did. I guess where I'm going with this post is, should I continue to pursue this beautiful human being, or just pass it off as a "crush only" girl? | Crushing on a girl working across from me, wondering whether this could be the "real deal" or just a crush that will pass by. |
t3_2tub5y | relationships | Me [23M] broke up with girlfriend [24F] two years ago. Both of us can't get over each other. | I was dating my girlfriend for three years and slowly things started deteriorating near the end. Her father passed away and her mother kicked her out and she was in a rough patch. We helped her out by putting her in a house rent free (long story) and paying for her phone. The deal was she had to find a job with decent pay and hours to move out of the house and into her own place. She never tried to go to businesses in person to give her résumé and insisted to do it all online.
My parents and friends didn't like her mentality and I felt she needed time adjusting to life without her father. I've been trying to do the right thing and move on. Got rid of her stuff, spent time with friends, and focused on things that make me a better person physically and mentally. However I still keep thinking about her all the time even after two years. I met a lot of people who were either out of my age range or taken and online dating has been a disaster for me.
We haven't been in contact since we broke up but she still talks about me with co workers who I'm friends with. She questions if she should try to go back with me or not and still wears the promise ring I gave her. I've told my friends and family that I would move on and never go back but I'm having difficulty getting her out of my mind. So I have a few questions I want to ask.
Do you think people can change and mature after two years? Would it be worth trying to go back with her? Would it be bad to be just friends and nothing else? She means a lot to me and I don't know what to do. | I'm debating on either being friends or getting back with my ex. |
t3_1agdjb | self | That weary, tired feeling :/ | I dropped out for half a semester in the Fall and worked 2 jobs and hung out with friends in my spare time. I decided to man up and return for Spring semester and try to start over.
However, this whole semester I've been working one job as a manager and am at work 10 hours a day- in the middle of the day (11am-10pm usually). By the time my 2 days off roll around I'm exhausted and just want to do nothing, but I have a week's worth of homework to do.
Finals week is the week after Spring Break and I have two big projects I'll have I cram into my two days off since when I get home I just want to pass out asleep.
I'm glad I have a job, but I'm just bored with my education. I used to be so motivated to get my family's first Bachelor's (I already have an AA), and now I can't even focus. I just want to quit and work and run my concert blog again. I've been thinking of enlisting in the Navy since I won't be going to school (my parents still won't let me live down dropping out last semester) but I'm afraid of losing my position at work and then being royally fucked. | I want to drop out again and do whatever I fucking want to and not feel guilty or dead inside. |
t3_nzpcn | AskReddit | Family issues... what should I do? | I wanted to put a story here, but I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head that I can't put across properly.
I have a straightforward personality. I speak what I think, and sometimes I aggravate people, because I don't like lying. Although I'm a good liar and I can lie to protect myself, I avoid doing it because people get hurt by lies.
But this always ends up in altercations in my family, and several times, they say explicitly they wish I were dead, and that they wish they could swap me for another kid. Sometimes these end up in specific details and descriptions of what they hate about me.
The thing is, Redditors, I have always worked hard. I earned money when we had issues (I was 14 or 15 then), and I have always watched my cash flow. I have never spent money on a game, I don't buy new clothes (all of mine are hand-me-downs), and I hate splurging on anything. My biggest purchase was the laptop I am using, with money I earned myself over years.
I think I have done as much as I can, but I still end up in this situation where I have no one to talk to. I'm not really a looker so I don't find myself drawing attention, and while I score good grades, I don't really expect people to be drawn to me for that.
I have few friends because I trust few people - trust issues that arose from a bad childhood that, for all purposes and intents, have nothing to do with this situation. I can't talk to any adults because I either don't trust them or they are unavailable. Medical professionals are out of the question because they cost money, and I don't like spilling my heart out to helplines because I can be traced (and they do do that kind of thing here).
I have tried to man up, but it's too much to deal and I'm only 17.
What should I do now? | People, even family, hate me. I can't talk to anyone - I have no mouth, and I must scream. What do I do? |
t3_1xwbdy | relationships | Me [20-F] with my boyfriend [22-M] of 9 months. My White boyfriend is in a Black Power gang. | Today, my boyfriend openly admitted to me that he is involved as an informant for a gang that is based on the principles of Black Power.
I always knew he was strongly Anti-Fascist(got "Nazi Punks F**k Off" tattooed on his back) and Anti-Conservative(has Reagan on his dartboard lol), and it was one of the reasons I was so attracted to him, but I had no idea that he was so caught up in this movement. When he was 18, I knew he did some time in prison. What he didn't tell me was on his first day in prison, he attacked the first guy that looked like a skinhead that he saw, he got beaten up, but a couple of guys were impressed with his bravery and guts, and from there joined the black power gang. He is used as an informant, and scouts out any white power, Conservative White Male or Right-Wing movements in the area.
He insists he is not involved in any violence himself anymore, he just passes on information. As I am white as well, he insists that he does not believe in "Black Power" as much as he believes in destroying Fascism, and he sees this as his contribution to the world.
I know he would never hurt me, and I think I love him, but I don't know if I can be involved with someone affiliated with a gang. | Boyfriend is a non-violent informant for a Black Power gang he joined in prison when he was 18. Should I stay or should I go? |
t3_27qf3l | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years, dealing with the fallout | My girlfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. She said she liked another guy and wasn't sure about us. She didn't spend much time with me and the relationship was falling apart.
In our relationship, our families became close. I am friends with her sisters and went over to her house a lot. She did the same.
A few days ago, she came over to my home to meet my parents, knowing I was there too. She ran into me and it was short but friendly. I don't know why she did this. A month after we broke up, she messaged me through her sister asking if we would get back together. I said no. I would like to cut her out of my life completely, but don't know if it's possible.
I do still feel bad about the whole thing and miss her at times. But I don't want to be with her. I also don't understand what she wants. What should I do?
Thank you for reading and I really appreciate your help! | Girlfriend's and my family are close. Should I cut her off completely or see her when I have to? |
t3_2ruwey | relationships | Me (f) and my coworker (f), she lost a baby, and it went unacknowledged by the office | My coworker (35ish) of 6 years was 9 months pregnant, and she lost the baby. I (31) only found out through Facebook, and sent her and her family my condolences. When she came back after a few months, it seemed like she was avoiding me. We were not that close, but there aren't that many women at our job who have kids (ours are the same age, we were pregnant together 5 years ago) and generally the same outlook on life and work.
So I've only seen her a few times since then and today I caught her in the hallway with an unrelated question. We started talking about a situation with an old boss we both had, and the topic of kids came up. I think I fumbled when I mentioned that boss came to see me when my daughter was born, and then she made an excuse and left. I don't want to bring up her lost pregnancy/baby, but I want to acknowledge her pain and tell her that I was thinking of her. She seems to want to be very private about it, and I am uncomfortable bringing up a hard topic. At the same time, I know it can be weird when you are going through a hard time, and people you to act normal.
So can anyone advise on me what to do? Should I drop it and be more careful not to mention baby-stuff? Write a note? Let her avoid me for 3 more months? | Trying not to make coworkers' grief all about me, but I want to offer her condolences, or at least normal interaction. |
t3_vfqjr | AskReddit | Reddit, what made you feel awe-inspired by nature? | First, please excuse me for my bad english.
I visited an exhibition with some friends yesterday and most of the exhibits were taxidermied animals, sorted by geographical belonging (with some live animals, mostly insects and reptiles) and a whole part for showing birds from all over the world.
And there I stood, laughing and having a good time with my friends, when I saw a taxidermied bird that just made me feel overwhelmed by its sheer presence.
[It was a huge-ass Condor!](
It was standing on the ground, but had his wings spread fully in the air, somehow looking like it was about to attack whatever was standing in front of it. His wings were the most impressive part. Ranging over 3m from tip to tip, the Condor looked incredibly large and impressive, leaving me stunned by awe for a while, just looking at the bird.
After I discovered that I really like big birds, I started looking around for more exhibits of that kind.
[I wasn't disappointed!](
Standing in front of the skeleton of an extinct bird, called Elephant bird, is truly an amazing point of view. Why? Because that bird was over 3m tall and weighed (?) approximately 400kg. I knew beforehand, that there are many big animals, but standing in front of one, even if its only a taxidermied one, really shows you that nature in itself is really outstanding in its beauty and variety!
So, Reddit, what made you feel awe-inspired by nature? | Huge Birds are fucking awesome. |
t3_d7bip | AskReddit | My mom is a food addict. What can I do? | She had an aneurysm in 2005 which left her unable to work and with difficulty reading, speaking and thinking clearly. She is definitely addicted to food, I don't need to describe that here as I've already done my research. What I want to know is, has anyone helped someone with a food addiction, and how did they do it? I've found a lot on how to break my own food addiction, but I'm not addicted, she is. I need advice on how to let break it to her and help her get past it. While I know food to her is one of the only things she has going for her because of her handicap, her life could be so much more if she broke her addiction. | my mom is a food addict, what do I do? |
t3_jk28b | AskReddit | I just got threatened and robbed by my own uncle -I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE | Facts:
My uncle is 58, I just turned 29. My dad is the eldest son and this uncle is 2 years behind him. I am the younger of 2 children of my parents.
This uncle is what you would call a black sheep I suppose. Have been told that he is no good since I could comprehend the meaning. Despite this, throughout my life he has been rather kind to me probably because I was born with some physical disabilities. I use a wheelchair.
Him and my dad have never gotten along, they are the two oldest of 7 siblings and could not be any more different. My uncle comes from a somewhat criminal background. He mostly talks the talk but his friends certainly walk the walk. A few of my other uncles and aunts are also in the gang lifestyle but are very respectful and kind people outside of that realm.
I recently moved into my own house with a few friends and this uncle has been an increasing presence at my place. He normally just insults me and my dad a little then takes whatever scraps of weed he can grab off my table. 2 Months ago it got much worse.
He came over and got really drunk one afternoon and took my entire bag of weed and some of my merchandise that I sell on ebay. Through one of my aunts I told him he could keep ALL OF MY WEED and the collectibles so long as he was out of my life. That worked for a couple months until TODAY.
He came over to have "one final conversation" during which he took something I said as an insult and decided to relieve me of my colt government pocketlite .380 pistol and again, any weed he could find. He searched the entire downstairs of my house. He then told me if I told my dad or another uncle he would have me and whoever I told killed.
I hesitate to tell my dad because of what might happen after, they both have uncontrollable tempers. My dad has never cared for my uncle.
So many details and minor things.......please ask any questions and give me good advice please.... | My uncle has been taking from me and bullying me for over a year. I don't want to tell my dad because he's old and I think he would want to fight over this. What should I do? |
t3_3te9q7 | relationships | Me (28 M) has to decide whether or not to attend girlfriends (31 F) mothers funeral. | Hey guys just need advice/opinions on a situation I'm currently dealing with.
My girlfriend of 4 years mother unexpectedly passed away on the weekend. She is from another country literally on the other side of the world from where we reside. When we found out the news last week it was one of the worst days of our life.
Upon finding out I immediately called my travel agent and booked flights for the both of us so she could be here with her family. After 26+ hours of travel we finally made it here. And it's been so heart breaking this week to see what everyone is going through. Since being here I have done as much as I can for her. I accompanied her to the viewing and helping as much as I can with arranging the funeral and day to day things.
Given the nature of my work and that I run my own business I was fortunate enough to cancel any up coming work I had and all of my clients were very understanding. I'm still going to be here for over two more weeks to help with cleaning her mothers apartment etc.
Which brings me to my problem.
Due to circumstances out of everyone's control the funeral cannot take place for another several weeks. Putting it well over a month since our arrival. Prior to this happening I have a contract booked for my job that is the biggest to date in my career. With out going into too much detail if I turn this down as well it means losing my biggest client and the financial gains that go with it. The dates for both aren't flexible and traveling between isn't an option.
My partner is staying indefinitely until matters here are finalized, which is completely understandable. Her job has given her unpaid leave for as long as needed and she will have a job but might not work for up to 6 months. And for her to be able to do that comfortably I have to return home.
My partner and I had a talk on our own and with her family in regards to the matter. They were very understanding and so appreciative I got her here so fast to be with them. They all understand the reasoning behind it. | So basically I have to decide whether or not to stay and be here for her on the day of the funeral. Or. Return home and take care of matters there and work to be able to comfortably support us during this time. It's just tearing me up knowing I might not be there physically for her on the toughest day of her life. But the practical person inside me tells me it's just as important to make sure we don't come out of this in a bad position. I just don't know whether or not this will be one of those things I regret for the rest of my life. I love her more than anything and just want what's best for her. |
t3_xjq9c | AskReddit | As someone who isn't "anti-gay", can someone explain the "Down with Chick-Fil-A" logic? | Hello fellow redditors. Let me start off by saying that I am not "anti-gay". I have plenty of friends who are gay, and even relatives who are. I am personally a heterosexual male, for what it's worth.
I am just confused as to where the logical outrage is located in this Chick-Fil-A "scandal". I have known for years that Chick-Fil-A was run by a strong Christian. Actually, I found out the day I tried to get Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday and had to call a friend to complain how my craving for a Chick-Fil-A sandwich was going to go unsatisfied, and he explained it to me. So I'm just going to assume that over the years, many, if not most, people are aware of Chick-Fil-A's owner's religious views.
Without even hearing the owner of Chick-Fil-A come out and state that he is against gay marriage and is "anti-gay", one could just use the Christian stereotype and assume he had these views. So why all of the sudden is there this public outcry to bring down this company? For years the gay community has been seeking public tolerance and just asking people to respect their personal choices and opinions. And in this day and age I feel as though they have reached that point.
Why do people now want to tell a man that he cannot have these views, and because of having his own personal opinions his business should have no place in our country? Are not these anti-Chick-Fil-A proponents doing exactly what they said was inappropriate "persecution" being done upon the gay community? Why is a person, who has no problems showing his religious beliefs to the public, not allowed to express their opinions? If you don't agree with them, then you have the choice to not go to his place of business.
Secondly, Chick-Fil-A has never fired someone for being gay, or not hired someone for being gay. They are not persecuting the homosexual community in any way. So where is all this hate coming towards Chick-Fil-A? | Why are these outcries to bring down Chick-Fil-A really just people "persecuting" someone for having their own opinion EXACTLY like the gay community said the public was "persecuting" them for asking for public tolerance of their lifestlyes/opinions? |
t3_1e8fir | relationships | Two of my roommates girlfriends, both [F18] are constantly at our house. I [M18] am annoyed by the fact that they share the space and utilities that I pay for, but don't consider chipping in, am I being unreasonable? | > They both sleep in their boyfriends rooms, A every second or third night, B literally every night.
> A usually cleans more than B, B never wipes up and leaves food in the sink
> Both have ridiculously long showers (20 minutes) in a bathroom that I pay to use, thus I have to wait for them to finish so I can use it myself
> They both scream and moan every night when I try to sleep.
Me and my housemates started living together over two months ago. Whilst they both mean well and would make good friends, it's these little things that are annoying and that I dont feel they are entitled to that are getting to me, on top of the fact I share with 3 other males it becomes hard to manage. | Housemates girlfriends practically live in my house, don't share expenses for utilities or clean. |
t3_2qazwe | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18 F] of 5 years maybe, might break up with her over her coming out as asexual. | Sorry if this is a little hard to follow but i need to cover a bunch or things and i am stressed.
I have been dating her since 8th grade and she hasn't always been a physical person and I am, we have only gone as far as second base but recently she came out as asexual on Tumblr (We follow each other and she knows i follow her).
I have always felt weird doing physical things with her because she either doesn't care or she is uncomfortable and puts up with it for me with it and it makes me feel guilty.
She used to live close but her dad moved for his job and now we are in a long distance relationship and we are also at separate colleges. We talk a lot but it does put strain on me. We saw each other in person over the summer where I went down to see her.
I am not mad at her being asexual but we never had a talk about it and I found out about it on her blog so I kinda feel betrayed by it. (I am not crazy that is something that should be talked about in person right?) The only ones who knew was her best friend and she thought that i knew.
She is coming up to visit me, some friends, and her family who still live local and I am going to use this opportunity to talk with her. (My girlfriend was going to stay with me for a a night or two and we have had this planned since the summer but recently her dad became uncomfortable with it and said no.) So I am going to use the chance I have with her in person to talk to her about it. I am hoping that maybe she also wanted to she me in person before she told me about her asexuality. I have put a lot of thought into it and I might have to break up with her because it might become unhealthy as i might start to resent the fact the physical aspect of relationship isn't going to work.
I still love her and I want what is best for both her and me, I still want to be friends with her, and i am worried that it might ruin her visit. | Girlfriend is asexual and I might break up with her as the relationship might become unhealthy. |
t3_2g96nq | relationships | Me [18M] still has feelings for ex [18F] | Okay, so last year, my senior year of high school I started dating this girl. It wasn't a particularly long relationship but we progressed fairly quickly and became close. On paper, everything seemed great. I'm a very picky person when it comes to dating and in my eyes she was perfect. We got along on everything. Both intelligent, unemotional, liberal, introverted, and somewhat socially awkward students obsessed with one particular teacher. Point being that we were very similar. We would text all the time, see each other as often as possible, the whole nine yards. But as it goes, we broke up. It wasn't a nasty breakup and it was actually mutual because neither of us could put in all the time necessary for a relationship. We both had busy schedules and they didn't lighten up, she initiated the breakup but I was planning on doing the same in a few weeks after her birthday. We still remained friends throughout the rest of the year and track season and for a while I didn't even want to get back together with her. Now we're at two different colleges separated by about 1300 miles.
Anyway that's the back-story, the problem is that 8 months after the breakup, I still find myself wanting to get back together with her. It's not a sexual thing, we never had sex. I remember how fond I was of her for just her personality. I'm shallow but I would never date anyone exclusively for looks and her personality drove me crazy in a good way, not to mention that she was the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid my eyes on. I know it's a longshot but it's a feeling I've been unable to shake for 8 months now. Any advice? Hell either on trying to get back together or trying to get over her, I'll take anything. | dating my dream girl-->break up-->8 months pass-->still want to be with ex. |
t3_1rv2ga | relationships | Me [18 M] confused about my ambiversion | I've been thinking about where I fit on the spectrum of extroversion and introversion. Whilst I've always enjoyed time alone I also quite like going out with friends and it can energise me sometimes.
So I did some research and found out about ambiversion - being right in the middle of the two - is probably a good description of me.
My problem is that I don't identify strongly enough with either group enough to integrate socially. An extrovert would be in large social settings most of the time, and an introvert would have small, occasional meetings. But I do a bit of both. I'm loud enough to put off introverts and quiet enough to not keep up with extroverts.
Has anyone else experienced this? What do you think I should/could do? Thanks! | Me - ambivert (middle of extrovert-introvert spectrum). Don't identify enough with either for good social life. |
t3_2592nf | relationships | My ex [17F] broke up with me [16M] four weeks ago. We want to remain friends, but things aren't going well. | So first on why we broke up. She broke up with me simply because she wasn't feeling it anymore which is fine. I felt like things weren't working out too but I still had feelings for her. Then she broke up with me and mutually said that we would still try to be friends.
Thats fine and all, but afterwards we didn't speak to each other too much. We were kind of avoiding each other for a week for us to - I guess - get over it. It took me about two weeks but I was over it enough where I was 100% again.
But now, four weeks later, things things are fine, no feelings, things are almost back to normal. We were friends before we dated, and we both want to be friends with each other now, but things are weird between us. We don't speak much when we're near each other. Our conversations on facebook - which used to be pretty common but are now rare - end within 20 minutes. We haven't had a decent conversation in weeks. Before we dated we talked a lot, she was one of my closest friends who I trusted with pretty much anything. Now its like everything has been undone. I'm confused, lost, and frankly frustrated. I hate to lose a close friend and frankly, it seems like everything is going down the drain.
She's been acting a little weird recently too. More spontaneous. Kind of "ditzy". Taking interest in things she gives zero shits about. | We used to be close friends. We still want to be friends. Things aren't going well. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. We're growing distant like we're no longer close anymore. I'm lost. Any advice? |
t3_30lg22 | tifu | TIFU by almost fingering my GF's friend [NSFW] | First of all, I want to say sorry if my english sucks, I'm just a sudaca guy.
Well, this happened 2 days ago, I was in my gf's house with some friends (like 10) drinking and shit, when the party was over some of us stayed there cause we live kinda away. There was not enough beds so, and like we are all close friends we share the beds, I was sleeping with my gf, and next to us was another bed with 3 guys, so my gf decided to go to another room and put me to sleep with another girl (I've just met her that night, she's the cousin of my gf's best friend) and I was like "I wanted to cuddle but whatever :( ", so we slept and so. Next day morning I wake up, or kinda, it's something I always do; I wake up, don't open my eyes, and one half of my brain still sleeping, and I fucking forgot that my gf was in another room, so I feel like a nice bf and started to touch her belly, moved to her hips and legs, and I was about to start giving her a nice "awakening gift" when someone touch my feet, I fucking finally open my eyes, and see my gf looking at me, with a sweet wtf face while I was hugging the other girl's hips and just then I realize wtf I was doing and holy shit I feel so bad for me, my gf and the other girl. So I wake the fuck up, and start to explaining to my gf. She's a nice girl, and we've been together since a couple of years so she understood. Now I GUESS that the other girl was in a heavy, really heavy sleeping cause I touched her a lot and she didn't do shit, so we decided to don't tell her anything cause it was really awkward for me and I've just met her last fucking night. But I will always have the doubt if the alcohol make her be really sleepy, or she's just a slut... | Wake up being a zombie, wanted to lovely fingering my GF, error 404: gf not found. |
t3_39uo92 | tifu | TIFU by peeing behind a bush | Before I begin here's some background. I recently moved to a new city for an internship for the summer. Seeing how I turned 21 a few months ago, my first weekend was spent going out to the bars with my fellow interns. After copious amounts of drinking and meeting new people, its 3 am and the bars are closing. The lights turn on and it's time for us to leave.
So the we decide to all go outside, but one of our fellow interns is missing! We wait outside while one us of looks for her. Then it hits me; all of the beer in my bladder wants out. I quickly head for the nearest alley as all the bars were closed and there are a lot of police around making sure no one causes trouble. After walking almost two blocks, I finally find the perfect alley! There's a nice set of bushes that will conceal me as I perform the deed.
Now, as I make my way down the alley I am literally peeing myself with every urgent step. I make it to the bushes and I whip my member out and let my stream of justice water these wonderful bushes. After about 5 seconds I feel something move; there is a guy passed out on the ground where I am urinating! I freak out but am too inebriated to stop peeing. So there I am behind the bushes and can only apologize as he continues to receive my golden shower. When I finish, I quickly make my way back to my friends and leave the vicinity. So if you're out there guy who passed out behind the bushes, I am sorry for urinating on you and can only offer the comfort that I drink plenty of water so it was not so salty. | Gave someone an unexpected golden shower. |
t3_wdjtl | AskReddit | Reddit, I have just finished my four year Law degree, find myself free of all ties, and want to see the world, work hard, and have some fun. Where shall I go, what shall I do, and how relaxed should I be about planning it? | Reddit, I have just completed four years of a Law Degree at Bristol University. I have no desire to 'start' real life yet, and I want to go travelling after I amass some funds to get me out of the UK.
I don't want to go travelling just to 'find myself', I have a feeling that what I find would not be quite as enthralling as everyone makes out.
I really want to be productive, work 12 hour days, teach English to under privileged kids (perhaps through TEFL- 5 month teaching programmes) and actually be helpful. None of this "pay £2000 to esentially be unskilled labour in sub-saharan africa for two weeks" when most of the money is just going to the organisers.
My goal is South America, but I would also love to work anywhere in the East, Beijing, Hong Kong, Japan. I have not yet been to south-east Asia which seems a very popular desitination.
Essentially, what advice do you have for someone who wants to work around the world. Travel advice, know of any Jobs, Locations to visit, places to stay. Questions like weather I should book flights into a country and nothing else, or shall I completely plan all my journeys from day one from here? | I need your help and experience to travel and work all around the world, what are your top tips and experiences! |
t3_3gph9o | tifu | TIFU Betting Against The Toronto Blue Jays | My friend and I are baseball fanatics and occasionally have a friendly bet when a game that peaks our interest comes around. Being a Athletics fan while my friend a Blue Jays fan, we decided that last night's game would be one of those nights. Surely the Blue Jays' streak would come to an end.
It didn't.
Now the winner usually decide our forfeits after the game since we don't see the fun in just betting money. Earlier that day, my friend had accidentally worn his boxers backwards and I was poking fun at him for it. So probably as a result, he decided that until the Blue Jays' streak finally broke.
So far? This feels fucking awkward. The Y-Front has made itself at home between my cheeks and I can't get comfortable with it. There's another game tomorrow against the Athletics, please let the streak end tomorrow.
And yes, he spares no expense with occasional checks to make sure I'm keeping up with it. | Oh yeah, I also have to wear them backwards to bed too. I hope to God my girlfriend doesn't find out. |
t3_3qhtjf | relationships | My [22] girlfriend [23] has really low self-esteem and I'm having a hard time helping her | So my girlfriend of 5 months (known each other for just over a year) has a lot of problems with her self-esteem.
She is unhappy with her body, she feels inadequate and is just basically shooting her self down a lot lately.
She tells me she's bad at everything and unable to keep up with anyone.
She also tells me she feels like doing nothing but staying inside reading, but gets stressed when nothing happens.
I'm having a lot of trouble helping her out and telling her how great she actually is.
I love her very much and she loves me equally. I'm trying to tell her that she's awesome and beautiful she is and incredibly good at what she's doing (singer), but nothing seems to help. It's almost like she doesn't believe me, which is probably the case.
So does anyone have any tips on what I can do? | Girlfriend feels inadequate and very bad about her self, inside and outside and I can't help. |
t3_18n29g | offmychest | I'm a lesbian and I think I love my best guy friend. | I've liked girls for forever so this really caught me off guard. Sure, I can recognize when a male is attractive, but this is so much more. I feel like him and I are on the same page about everything. He's the smartest person I have ever met. We had been hanging out a lot and eventually dated. In this situation, his gender didn't matter... I just wanted him.
After a couple weeks when things started progressing physically I got really scared. That was miles away from my comfort zone. All I know is girls! I second guessed myself and broke it off. I told him I didn't want anything sexual with him and we didn't talk for a month. Recently, we made up and our friendship is getting back to where it was.
We were together on Valentine's Day yesterday and all I wanted to do was hold him and kiss him, but I wouldn't know what to say to him in this situation. I don't even know if saying anything is the right thing to do. By all means I don't want to hurt him again. Just had to let all that out. I guess time will tell.
Not using a throwaway because I'm feeling RISKY! | liked girls my whole life, fell for a boy, got scared and insecure about being with a guy, broke up with him, still care for him |
t3_1vl3sm | relationship_advice | [22/f] Recently found out my boyfriend [31/m] has had a huge number of sexual partners. | Okay, I met my boyfriend online about three months ago, and we've been "official" for about a month and a half. While this means the relationship is very new, it doesn't feel that way. I've fallen hard for him and, well, until recent information has come to light I assumed he felt the same way.
He's very much an alpha male. I've naturally slipped into a more submissive role and I enjoy it. He's knowledgable, experienced and incredibly intelligent, and I respect his opinion.
However, I recently learned that he has had (what I consider to be) a huge and excessive number of sexual partners. Not only this, but he claims to have dated them all (i.e. no one night stands) including a few long term relationships and one lasting five years. The number is over 100.
I'm really, really struggling with this, and I honestly wish he'd never told me. I know this looks like a pretty straightforward problem with two solutions; get over it or move on. But I feel lost.
If he hadn't told me, I'd still be having the best time of my life with my "dream partner". But now - and I'm aware this sounds idiotic and emotional - I feel as though nothing is special about us anymore.
It's also made me acutely aware of how inexperienced I am compared to him, which makes me feel suddenly uncomfortable and awkward. Before it felt as though things naturally fell into place but now everything seems artificial.
I guess I'm just confused and any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help. | Just discovered my boyfriend has had over 100 sexual partners and I'm struggling to deal with it. |
t3_20i24q | relationship_advice | (20/F) havent met (24/m)bf's mom.... | Hello there!
So, Im 20. Been dating this guy(24) for 10-11 months now. He's amazing, ILYs have been said and we are planning our first backpacking trip together!
Now... I recently moved back into my parents house, and he has been living with his mother, since his return from a 4 month backpacking trip last January-May. We've been talking since Jan 2013 and have been together since May 2013.
He has meet all of my family; meeting them before the 6 month had passed... now that we're getting closer to one year, I feel that is ample amount of time to mention your girlfriend, whom he claims he loves, to your mother. I've asked twice before and each time "Yes, yes, it will happen, I just havent thought about it" and she has even inquired about me! Asking if he was hiding her(mom) from me..... I know that it has old been him and his mother for, basically all his life. honestly, I want to meet her, to let her know her son is in good hands and to just meet the wonderful person who raised such an amazing child. | Havent met bf's mom, its been 10 months, he promised before one year I would meet her, but so far nothing.....Do I ask again, or just let it happen... |
t3_yxxa0 | AskReddit | What's the most nonsensical reason one of your friends played the "victim" in a break up for? | Hey Askreddit,
I have a best friend, let's call him Jack and I've known his girlfriend (now ex) since elementary, let's call her Jill. Anyways I was going through my Facebook and noticed Jill's single status. This guy and I commented on it and Jill said that they broke up because "he's as cold-blooded as every other guy". Now I was dumbfounded and told her that doesn't sound like Jack. Jill then goes to say how Jack's cold-blooded because he "gave up" on her because he couldn't make her happy, and that he didn't want to keep hurting her being so far apart. My buddy sacrificed his happiness and this girl calls him cold-blooded all over Facebook for the world to see. Reddit, what's the most nonsensical reason a girl has played the victim in a break up in you opinion? | Buddy broke up with his girl and sacrificed his happiness because the distance wasn't making her happy, and he knew, at this point, that he should let her move on. |
t3_2u1pto | relationships | Me [23 F] with my SO [23M] one year. I want to tell him I love him, is this the right way to do it? | Neither of us have said the "L" word yet and this past week has been very hard on us (we just went back to LDR after living together for six months) and have been together for close to a year.
I want to send him a letter saying nothing else but "i love you" and a pucture of us. Do you think this is appropriate? We just had an argument but are no where close to breaking up. Were both just frustrated but I want to do something special that will say "its okay and this is why".
What do you guys think? | Want to tell my SO I love him for the first time, is this appropriate? How would you react? |
t3_5233zs | tifu | TIFU by creating chlorine gas | Not so much today as a week ago when I was on holiday but just went swimming and it reminded me!
Anyway, my parents recently brought a house in South of France so I was visiting. It's in good nick but needs a bit of TLC and my mum was deploring the fact she couldn't figure out what bleach was in french! A quick google search later and we have eau de javel and are happily tackling the grouting (sad I know but sometimes it's so satisfying cleaning something that comes up shiny and new!) and I decide to tackle the tile floors while she wanders off upstairs. I've got bleach and hot water in the bucket and decide to see what else I can add to really tackle those stains - some are probably at 100 years old! So I shove in something that was in the cupboard that has a picture of shiny tiles because that's bound to help right? And set to work. It's about 10pm and my eyes are starting to itch but I figure i'm just tired. Then it starts to really really smell of chlorine but I didn't put 2 and 2 together. Then I start coughing and my lungs hurt so I open a window. Then finally my brain kicks in (I probably shouldn't have been drinking before cleaning) and I take a look at the bottle I mixed with bleach. It's acide hydrochlorique, my French is bad but even I manage to figure that one out! Cue dumping it down the drain and opening all the windows while still coughing. Didn't tell my Mum out of embarrassment and the fact she probably wouldn't be surprised I'd end up doing something like that! Floors looked really clean though and lungs stopped hurting over night so overall I came out top. | Decided to tackle some stains with a mix of cleaning products, ended up waging chemical warfare on myself |
t3_24tt20 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my FWB [20 M] 4 months, Married friend going through tough stuff | DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT HATE, DO NOT JUDGE BEFORE YOU READ THE WHOLE THING
I have known this guy for about 5 years, as soon as we met it was insta-sparks. Now only recently have we gotten involved. I had to move in with him because of some family issues. Four months ago he was so sweet, took me on dates, the whole nine yards. Couldn't keep his hands off of me. He chased me for all of these 5 years.
The problem is he's married. He was in fact working on a divorce when we started our "fling" (She is absolutely insane) Then he decided he wanted to stay with her for their kid. She is a bad mother, and treats this guy like absolute shit. It kills me to see him that way.
His heart is in the right place, but I know he is miserable. Even if it isn't with me, I want him to be with someone who doesn't make him so miserable. I know it's just going to end in divorce, which will hurt their kid even more when he is older and more aware of what is happening.
His mother feels the same way, and even said yesterday "You too just need to be together already!" I would die for this guy. He is the sweetest most caring amazing guy I know. Since he's decided to stay married I did take a step back and we are just close friends now.
I don't want them to break up, I just want him to be happier. I think... I think I may actually be in love? I don't know. I am so confused about the situation. | My FWB decided to stay with his wife, he is miserable, what Can I do to help him? |
t3_4yu8f8 | relationships | My [25 M] fiancee [25 F] together 10 years, habitually ignores my texts. | My fiancee has been habitually ignoring my texts. I told her how it makes me feel she's said sorry multiple times but it doesn't seem genuine because she continues to do it.
Most recently I even got a read receipt from a text and she chose to ignore it. I don't know how to feel its a mixed bag of emotions. I don't really want to talk right to her about it because she is currently with family and I don't want to ruin her time.
but I have told her she makes me feel like I just fall off the face of the earth when she's with friends/ family. it makes me feel extremely neglected. I feel like I'm too boring for her and she can't be bothered unless she's not doing anything else.
I've told her as much before and all she said is sorry and then makes me feel bad because it makes her upset. Then I feel like its a superficial issue that maybe I have problems i should probably try to handle.
Regardless the hurt feelings are still there and I don't know what to do I just felt like talking to someone about it. | Fiancee ignores my texts sometimes, hurts my feelings |
t3_1nl25o | relationships | Need help with employee/boss relationship(not romantic) | I[23f] have been working for my boss[55f] as an admin assistant for around 7 months. She is the COO of a small business and I help her with a lot of things. Out relationship is generally really good.
However. She has this habit of assuming she told me things that she did not. I am only around for half of her day, and it seems like she forgets that. And this happens very often.
The info she thinks she told me pretty vital. I often have to redo tasks because she did not tell me vital info. There may be cases that she told me and I forgot. But not often.
To keep this from happening I try and ask her a lot of questions to get as much information as possible. Depending on her mood this helps or it annoys her.
Now if this was it, and it was fine, there wouldn't be a problem. Just a minor annoyance. However, when this happens it seems like she chalks it up to me being young and dumb and gets irritated. I do not want to constantly say she did not tell me things. How should I approach it? So far I have just been apologizing and fixing it. But what if this goes on forever and she thinks Im a bad employee? | Boss thinks she tells me things that she did not. Do I tell her repeatedly that she did not tell me that info? That sounds bitchy. How should I handle it? |
t3_4wothg | legaladvice | [CA] - Attacked by a homeless guy today | First time poster here, so sorry if my formatting is off.
So today I was walking to the BART station in San Francisco when this homeless guy came up to me and started asking me for money. I tried to ignore him but he kept following me, asking for money. When I finally turned around, he said, "Sir when I talk you need to listen to me." I turned around and kept walking, and when I looked back I saw he pulled something out, put it behind his back and started running towards me. Thankfully I outran him and didn't hurt at all, but SFPD told me they couldn't do anything unless I was physically hurt. Because of this, I've been thinking about buying some pepper spray. I was hoping I could get some advice from this subreddit about pepper spray, mainly:
1. In this scenario, would I be justified using it on him?
2. If I were to use pepper spray, would I have to call 911 afterwards and tell the cops that I pepper sprayed someone?
Thanks for all your help guys. | Attacked by homeless guy; want to buy pepper spray. When would I be justified using it? |
t3_2b3oaa | relationships | Me 24 F with my "creepy" 30's ex, won't move on...what do? | Over three years ago I broke up with my very kind boyfriend who just wasn't right for me. This makes me sound awful but I had little emotion when dumping him - I was "over" it and completely emotionally detached from him. He took it very, very, very hard, after a few months he occasionally liked to send the "I miss you texts" etc, to which I never responded because I didn't want to mislead him and I thought it'd be easier. Thankfully, he went radio silent for a while but then...
Every year I get a "happy birthday," "merry christmas," "thinking about you," and maybe 2-3 invites to get together. Although this doesn't seem strange, we are talking 12:01 a.m, for the past 3 years, I'm getting "happy birthday." Consistently for 3 years. I finally responded to one with a "please stop texting me, i'm not and will not be interested," hoping that it would end things. It didn't. Then, about a year back, I heard through a friend of a friend of a friend that he is waiting for me, will wait for me forever (3.5 years so far!) still isn't over me, and is in therapy because his life is shambles.
A) This makes me feel awful and B) Despite the fact that I never feared him during our relationship, I am deathly afraid of running into him in public. I'm afraid that he's going to like, joint kill us in the street so we can be together forever, or something horribly twisted. We live in the same city and although we haven't met, what do I do if I randomly see him? I purposely avoid where he lives because this refusal to get over me (and honestly I have no clue why as I didn't treat him as well as I could have) is really creeping me out. All I want is for him to move on and be happy and forget I never existed.
Any advice? | Ex boyfriend of 3.5 years refuses to move on. Advice please. |
t3_1oqt5u | AskReddit | How to Find Lost/ Possibly Stolen Phone? | Sorry if this is the incorrect subreddit. I'm still new at posting, and also not really sure where else I could put this.
My boyfriend went to a pawn shop to pick up an item of his that was stolen and brought there and then came straight to my house before he had to go to work. He set his stuff down in my room and started freaking out because he couldn't find his phone. We turned my room and his car inside out (even checked the door pockets in his car) and we still can't find it. Then we called the pawn shop to see if he left it there possibly. They said that they would check the footage and call back. We got a call back and they said he picked it up off the counter before he left and that they didn't have a cell in their safe.
So we tried downloading Plan B on his cell through the computer, but he needed his gmail info, which he didn't know....
Now I'm stuck and I feel like I have run out of resources. | boyfriend lost phone. Tried installing Plan B app from comp to his cell to find said phone since phone is still on, but boyfriend didn't/doesn't know gmail account info. |
t3_x2ukp | AskReddit | in what country do cops get some respect? | after reading the thread / wathcing a video abt some african-american trying to steal a bike, got caught, and threatened the bike owner
[thread](
i realized that cops dont really get much respect.
we always say 'im gonna call cops on you broskis!!!!' when some dirty stuffs go down, but we nver really respect cops.
on that thread and on youtube ppl posted 'shouldve called cops man. security guards dont do jack s***.'
but, when u see cop cars while driving u just say 'fck them.'
and in reality, a lot of people think that cops r annoying except when you actually need them.
oh and im talking abt the US right now. And actually, when I lived in Spain, a lot of Europeans didnt seem to care abt cops too much either. i cant say this for sure, but that was how i felt.
i rambled on too much. so anyway. | in the US, cops hardly get any respect. |
t3_3f7s2t | offmychest | I fell...black dudes laughed....I feel like a racist dick | I was leaving the mall today with some gifts for son's birthday. It had started raining since I left home and I was wearing flip flops, clearly not a wise choice in downpour. I was walking across the parking lot and the next thing I know I am on my back in excruciating pain. Nothing broken (I think), just lots if scrapes, bruises, and my janky knee acting more janky. As I realize wtf happened this group of late teens early 20's black guys are laughing and high-fiving, saying stupid shit comments etc.... I slowly climed to my feet and walked away. The first words that came to mind were racial slurs and insults. I didn't say anything out loud but I thought this horrible racist shit in my head and wanted to punch each of those fuckers in the face with a sock full of nickels. This is a minor even in the grand scope of the universe. | I fell in public, group of Black guys laughed I thought a bunch of racist stuff and walked away. |
t3_1fxayr | relationships | My girlfriend(19F) has a problem with my(21m) looks | She has been my girlfriend for around 4 months now and she is definitely the most amazing girl I have met in my life. We get along perfectly, we can hang out all the time and we are comfortable being ourselves around each other, a rare find IMO and sometimes it feels like we are the same person.
However, a week ago she asked me if I thought I was a better looking guy than she was a better looking girl, and I gave her this look that said "you really have to ask that? looks are something that aren't important at all" Then she says "never mind, I don't want to know the truth it will only hurt."
If we had to compare us superficially, then yes I would be a better looking guy. But the thing is I dont think like that at all. I am not a superficial person at all and she is the prettiest girl in my eyes, so why should it matter what our looks are like on the outside? Attraction, to me, is so much more than looks and even then my girlfriend is still pretty and everything else about her(humor, personality, etc.) makes her beautiful to me.
She explained that the reason she asked was because her ex-bf always said that she was a better looking girl than he was as a guy. But just last night it came up again and I didn't know how to answer. I wanted to be honest with her, but I also didn't want to hurt her so I avoided the answer by saying I didn't know and that I don't think about looks like that.
She gets furious because she believes she knows that I have an opinion on the subject and she couldn't believe that I thought that way, but I dont think that way about looks and she wouldn't accept my explanations. I dont know how to diffuse the situation now and she is really mad at me. Why is it ok for her ex-bf to admit she's a better looking girl than he is a guy, but not ok for the reverse to be true(superficially). I dont want to lose her over something as petty as looks. | My girlfriend is mad at me because she thinks, that I think, I am better looking than her, and it's true(superficially), but doesn't matter to me. |
t3_1wyprq | AskReddit | Do hospital rankings matter for quality of care? | My grandfather is in the hospital with a gastrointestinal problem. Doctors at Hospital A opened him up and closed him back up without being able to fix the problem. Now his recovery from that surgery, to say nothing of the original problem, is going very slowly, possibly even going nowhere. He might be dying. This fills me with great sadness. Please advise.
I am by no means a medical expert, but I do not think he is getting the best care -- in terms of pain management, in terms of wound healing, in terms of people telling us his family members what is going on and what is going to happen. He keeps being moved from room to room, his nursing staff is different almost everyday and the doctors are elusive. We were told he could be theoretically walking by now, but in reality he is barely sitting up. I do not have much experience with hospitals so am not sure what to expect as a baseline. My boyfriend, whose father died of cancer, says it sounds like we are getting substandard care.
Hospital A is not "nationally ranked" by the US News (and is a county hospital, if that means anything to anyone). Should we move him to nationally-ranked Hospital B (top 30)? Hospital B is farther (25 mins vs 1hr+) but I don't want to pick medical care based on convenience. I am also not familiar with the logistics of transferring him as a patient in terms of paperwork and of physically relocating someone who is hooked up with an assortment of tubes.
Is it worth it? I realize this probably varies on a case by case basis, so would also appreciate any advice on how to investigate further. | I am trying to best manage my grandfather's medical care and it could be a life/death situation. I am not sure what to expect from hospitals. Will he be better taken care of at a nationally-ranked hospital? |
t3_4f3vx3 | relationships | Should I (F19) tell my roommate and best friend (F19), to stop getting awful tattoos, or would it do more harm than good? | I've been extremely close friends with my roommate for 5 years now, and since we turned 18 she's been getting tattoos on a regular basis- 6 or 7 in the past year. Her luck with romantic relationships has not been great this year at all, mostly because she seems to pick guys who obviously don't value her, and then gets very torn up when they eventually prove it. I think this recent bout of emotionally turmoil probably plays into her desire to get tattoos. She's extremely impulsive to begin with, and that becomes tenfold in times of being upset or sad.
All of the tattoos are taken from google image searches, and they look like bad clip art- for example, a horse's head on her upper back, or the flock of 3 doves above her butt. There are also a couple extremely visible ones on her inner wrists, the most recent being a large word in script that the artist clearly didn't bother trying to space the letters of evenly.
We're extremely close and talk about everything, but this situation feels different to me.
Should I tell her something that might deter her from future body art? Or keep my mouth shut and spare her feelings? | My best friend is going through some shit, and I think getting (unintentionally) bad tattoos are part of how she's coping. What is my responsibility here? |
t3_udmx7 | relationships | Our relationship has lost its lustre after 9 months, when should I end it? | We met about 9 months ago. From the very start it was clear that we were in very different places in life, she's older (29) than I (23) and in a more stable part of her life. It was incredibly fun at first but in the last 2 months or so its moved from sex-all-the-time to a real adult relationship.
I'm getting ready for some major life changes, not all of which I've informed her of, and I'll be moving across the country in a couple months. I've been thinking a lot recently about just breaking the relationship off, I'm just not sure of timing.
She's going on a big, "girls trip", to europe in a couple weeks, and I'm torn. I dont want to ruin her big trip by breaking up with her before she leaves, but if I wait until she returns who knows what experiences she'll have missed because we're together? | Should I wait until after her trip to breakup? |
t3_3ohj7z | relationships | Boyfriend [29m] has asked me [27f] to cover up or change a matching tattoo I got with my brother [23m]? This is unreasonable right? | My brother and I got matching tattoos a couple years ago to commemorate our dad's death.We never used to be really close but our dad died when I was 22 and I wound up my brother's caretaker and we got close and bonded through that. Mutual grief/living together.
My boyfriend Randy and I have been dating for 8 months now and yesterday he told me he had something serious he wanted to discuss. Now i was thinking maybe he wanted to talk about moving in or something, not that I'm considering moving, because his place is a good distance further from where I work than my place is so it saves me some time and I do get a few minutes extra sleep.
He sat me down yesterday and explained that he wasn't comfortable with me having a matching tattoo with my brother. It made him feel weird, it is on my shoulder and I do like tank tops so it's pretty visible. The tattoo is also kind of large so it stands out.
He's asked me to cover it up or just alter it because when my brother and I are together you can usually tell the tattoos are matching and of course if people don't know we're siblings they take it as we're a couple with matching tattoos till they get corrected.
I don't want to change it though, it's a tribute to my dad and a symbol of the closeness I finally have with my only sibling and family really.
How can I get him to change his mind on this? Can I even get him to change his mind? | bf wants me to cover up my half of the matching tattoo I have with my brother |
t3_dwxru | self | I just found out a friend is a supermodel. | Background: We were chatting one day and she let slip that she modeled as a summer job. Amazed, I asked her if I'll find anything on Google if I googled her. She told me it's creepy and begged me not to.
Today, I was bored and googled her. (I'm an ass...) HOLY SMOKES! She's a Canadian supermodel! There are dozens of photos of her taken for top Fashion magazines like Vogue!
The amazing thing is, she doesn't look amazingly beautiful or out of the ordinary. She just looks like an everyday person. She's a little plump. She always looks tired and angry. But she's a supermodel!
I've always known this but it hits you harder when u face it: the "beautiful" people in media are fakes. | A very ordinary looking friend of mine turns out to be a model with solid cred. She looks amazing in pictures thanks to make up and photoshop. |
t3_269ew1 | relationship_advice | [20/f] I can't explain issues to my boyfriend (23/m) without upsetting him more | I'm sure a lot of people have this same problem, but I don't know how to tell my boyfriend what is bothering me without him assuming that I'm blaming him for all our relationship problems. It seems like whenever we get into a fight I am apologizing for what happened, no mater how much of a reason I feel that I have to be upset. I know I often bring other issues up at bad times - like when we are already arguing about something else. But I feel as if I bring up issues when everything is good, then that will just cause problems on there own. To make it worse, he wants all the space in the world when he's mad, and when he's done ignoring me, we don't talk about the problem. It's just suddenly done. I understand him needing his space when he is upset - but I wish he would just let me talk to him some before the space that way things are left on a better note. This is instead of him just driving away in the middle of the fight and then ignoring calls/texts ect. Plus, it's really hard for me to give him space when he's mad - it's when I want to be around him the most to make sure he's okay. Just him being near and not even talking makes me feel better....but that is my own selfish problem I guess.
I don't want to piss him off, but then again, I don't want to have to apologize for being annoyed. Everyone gets annoyed about something, right?? Or am I just ridiculous.... | How do I express what I think is a problem with out causing a problem? Also, how to go about issues in a way that I'm not always giving in and apologizing. |
t3_3x991d | relationships | Me [30F] Needs Advice from y'all to help with depressed, pregnant Best Friend [30F] of 12 years. | Hi Reddit - you're so great at giving advice, I thought I might seek some assistance.
My best friend, let's call her Kathy, is pregnant with her third kid and has been really struggling with depression this particular pregnancy. Baby #1 was from a deadbeat dad, but #2 and coming #3 are from her current SO (boyfriend, not married yet) - who is a great dude, but can sometimes get a bit too involved in hunting/fishing/trapping on the weekends, making her feel really alone and unwanted. He's totally in love with her, but she's starting to feel like he's only with her because of her pregnancy.
She told me recently that she feels really frustrated with his side of the family because their holiday plans are usually whipped together last minute, while her family's holiday traditions are the same year in/year out. How can I gently tell her that his family's plans are just as important and that she needs to make an effort to compromise, too? Or that she needs to make time for him, and to prioritize him, too?
I know she's very hormonal - very weepy, and feeling very depressed, which is so unlike her. She's normally a very emotional person, and can get really defensive, and shut down with people when she hears something difficult... which puts me in a weird spot of wanting to give her good direction - without complicating our friendship.
I'm not looking to fix their relationship, but am looking for some good advice on how to address her depression and what I can do to validate her feelings, offer support, suggest help ideas,etc.
I am also cross-posting over to r/pregnancy - but was hoping some of you who might not trod over there might have some helpful ideas, too.
Sorry if this post comes off piece-mailed, I'm just concerned for her and the baby's health and like any best friend, want to alleviate her depression any way possible. Thank you! | Best friend pregnant with third kid - totally depressed. |
t3_2o9s1g | relationships | Me [27F] has been living with my boyfriend [27M] of 5 years and his parents for the past 2 years, and I want out! | Hi Everyone!
I have seemed to find myself in an interesting situation. I have been with my boyfriend now for about 5 years this coming December. Things have been great for us until we moved into his parents house a few months after college.
He told me we would only be staying there until we both get situated in a job, but 2 years later here we still are. I am trying not to be bitter about it, but its starting to take its toll on our relationship.
Every time I bring up the subject of moving out, he gets defensive and in turn I get defensive. He says we don't have enough money (though we both work full time jobs making more than minimum wage), and that we will move out when he thinks he can support us. The only problem is, he hasn't said when that date is, and I am starting to feel like he may never want to move.
I am at the point where I am considering moving out on my own - would that be a bad idea? | Living with my boyfriend and his parents for 2 years, and I am going crazy! Should I leave? |
t3_3cxqk9 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my (ex)Girlfriend [18 F] broke up today after telling her what we need to work on... | After having the first real sit down with my Girlfriend of 10 months, I told her what I personally thought we needed to work on and how come September and I start my new job and she starts back at school, both of which are Monday-Friday commitments. I told her I don't know how it will work for time due to Jobs, family and other commitments...
She then offered that we would set one day aside no matter what and meet up and chill, go for food ect. I turned down the idea as I thought we would run out of things to say during the week.
Furthermore, I continued to tell her I didn't like that she clung on to me whenever I wanted to go out with the lads and have a drink or leave the country for a few days for work or family, I would get guilt tripped and made to feel like it was abandoning her when really I just wanted to have my own side of my life.
We continued to talk and she said what did I want, I said I wanted the old me back which consisted of me just waking up working and then just playing it day by day...
Finally, I was put on the spot with "what do you want"... I said I wanted the old me back and then comforted her....
Now I just feel like shit for putting her through that and don't know if I still want her or not and my head is just racing through everything we did but also everything I can now do.. | Don't know If I impulse broke up with my GF, feel like shit and don't know what I want to do with myself even though that's why I left her. |
t3_43rop7 | relationships | I [M36] don't want to set up my wife's friend [F31] with any of my friends. | My wife, Jill, has a friend I'll call Chrissy. Chrissy is on the prowl for a boyfriend. Chrissy asks Jill if I've got any eligible friends, which I do.
I don't want to set my friends up with Chrissy. I'm not crazy about Chrissy. I've got nothing against her, but she's not someone I'd consider a good match for any of my friends.
She's the type to swipe through Tinder and make nasty comments about what ugly losers the guys are despite being, uh, not a beauty queen or great success herself. She's loud and brash. She hasn't got much going for her, as far as I can tell. She talks a lot about reality TV, but I've never heard of anything like a hobby or a social life outside of happy hour and internet dating.
I don't judge my wife's friendship with her - some of my friends are jackasses too, whatever. Maybe Chrissy's a fun drinking buddy. But I just don't consider Chrissy a catch and don't want to be responsible for setting her up with my friends. I picture a hypothetical single me being set up on a date with Chrissy, and later telling my matchmaking friend not to do me any more favors.
My wife, Jill, has brought this up once or twice. The problem is that Chrissy keeps asking Jill about it, and has mentioned it to me once or twice. Chrissy clearly isn't letting this go.
How do I tell my wife that I rate her friend two thumbs down and get rid of her without being nasty? | My wife's friend is an unattractive person inside and out and I need a nice way of telling my wife that I don't want to set her up with my friends. |
t3_1an167 | relationships | Today, I [f/18] got in an official relationship with my SO [m/17] and it's my first real relationship EVER | I'm not a weird girl, or particularly unappealing in any way. In fact I'm pretty confident in my looks and personality, it just so happens that I've never gone far enough with a guy to get into a real relationship.
Today my SO asked me to be his real girlfriend after about a month of kind of "being together." By "being together" I mean we've held hands, kissed, and had sex. But now it's official.
I just want this to be a completely smooth relationship with no troubles, especially because I want my remaining months of senior school year and hopefully summer to be happy and lovely. And because I've never been in a relationship, I wanted to ask you guys if there is anything I should definitely DO or NOT DO in order to make sure this is something that I will cherish and not stress/cry over.
I know it sounds super lame but I really like this guy and I just want to make sure I'm not the inexperienced girl that ruins the relationship through some stupid mistake. | ! I'm entering my first relationship ever. What are some do's and don'ts for me to know in order to not fuck this up due to inexperience and naive choices? |
t3_1pupkz | offmychest | Just a little upset and disappointed | A while ago, my girlfriend and I of a few months mutually decided to end things for college for the sake of not having to end later on bad terms so that we could still be best friends throughout school (we were best friends for years but just started dating earlier this year). We were just worried about something bad happening at a party or whatever.
Anyways, we go to different schools and I went to go visit over this weekend just to hangout with some friends at her school. At one point during the night, her and I got to talking about things. She was with a guy for a while, bug ended things for whatever reason after just a couple of weeks. Anyways, we were alone for a long while talking and we both admitted that ending things was a mistake. This is where I started to get semi-upset.
She told me that she still has some feelings for the guy that I mentioned before, which is understandable, because they were still good friends and still hang out a lot. Anyways, she goes on about how she wishes we were still together, she still has strong feelings, etc. Then she tells me that if we went to the same school, she would want to be together no question, but because we are at separate places she would choose the other guy.
I guess I'm just disappointed that it sounds like if she just compares me to this guy, she would choose me, but instead she goes with him because he is there. | girl and I both want to be together, but she chooses another guy over me because its more convenient. |
t3_3g3lr6 | relationships | I [15M] am concerned with my girlfriend [16F] of 10 months because she has recently become good friends with her ex [16M]. Am I being paranoid??? | I'm in high school and over the summer my girlfriend of 10 months started to talk to her ex a lot more. They dated about a year ago and for some reason or another they've started snap chatting a ton (streak of 60 days or something).
They'll hang out a good amount and there's just always something about it that's annoying when they hang out or when I see a snapchat from him or something.
Im actually pretty good friends with him and whenever I'm not with my girlfriend I'm usually with him and a couple other guys.
I'm just concerned with where this is leading and I need some advice I'm sure my girlfriend wouldn't hurt me but my concern is with her ex. The fact that we're in high school and very young also makes me question his motives.
Should I be concerned? Am I being paranoid? If I am is there a way that I could appreciate their friendship? | my girlfriend has become really good friends with her ex and it makes me uneasy. Am I being paranoid? |
t3_3xfprx | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [22 F] 6 month, she says she loves me but she doesn't act like it | I'm a serial poster in this section and this is another disposable account.
Basically, my girlfriend says she loves me but doesn't act like she loves me. For example, she puts my comfort at risk and knows it by making me jealous when she talks to other guys that hit on her. Yes, she does some loving things sometimes but the way she acts when she's mad about me, I just don't believe her when she says she loves me.
I told her, I said "no you don't" and she said "that's rude" and got upset and sad so I didn't want to say anything else obviously because she was sad.
How can I address the problem that she does so many things sometimes almost on purpose to annoy me to the point where I don't think she loves me? | I don't feel my GF loves me when she says she does, what can I say to her? |
t3_47s62i | tifu | TIFU by punching a wooden wall | After reading that title, I bet you're thinking 'That's not so bad, you probably just hurt your hand.' Guess again. By the way, this was about 6-9 months ago.
Okay, so I was pretty pissed off at school. I was having a... colourful rant. Now picture this corridor: You walk in, and to the left is an English corridor, in front of you there is a hall, and to the left there is an I.T corridor. I'm standing outside my I.T classroom, off the back of a D in my Physics test. Not a great start for the day. My friends particularly like it when I rant, so they are effectively standing there, pissing themselves with laughter.
In a rage, I throw a punch in the air, and spin round, as you do. I'm fully intending to punch the air. However, I completely screw up this ragey-air-punch, and punch the wall. Only to find it is a makeshift wooden wall which has been painted over. The wall breaks, much to my amazement (I'm not exactly the strongest kid, so it must've been a pretty weak wall) and it collapses straight onto around 4 computers, knocking them off their stands, breaking them. This is the moment my PRINCIPAL walks round the corner, to find a broken wall, 4 broken computers and me wailing at my very sore hand. As if it couldn't get any worse, one my friends genuinely pisses themselves with laughter. He doesn't realise until everyone looks at him in disgust, hears various loud 'Eurgh!'s and a wet patch beneath where he was stood.
It gets even worse, but expectedly worse, as I have to pay for all the damage and get one hour after-school detentions for a week. A truly incredible, unintended fuck up. | I was having a shit day, had a rage, accidently punched a wall, broke it and 4 computers, and had to pay for all the damage and a week of after school detentions. And my mate genuinely pissed himself. |
t3_4kzaqd | relationships | Is this question worth asking to my[F17] boyfriend [M16]? | Hi, normally, I wouldn't ask a question if I'm not okay with all possible answers, but this one has been weighing in my mind a bit.
Backstory time!
I was good friends with Joe for a while before the relationship started. During that time, he had talked to me about girls he's had crushes on because we we're friends.
There is some drama going on at school that he was pulled into because of his past mistake and some misunderstandings that were blown out of proportion from other people so basically a lot of his grade dislikes him and he's had to make new friends.
During the time of rumors last year, he had a crush on Renee. It appeared that Renee would have been open to a relationship. However, around the time of the rumors spreading, she grew distant and started avoiding him. (Not sure if it's because of the rumors or something different)
Joe was recently considering asking Renee if she heard the rumors because he was curious. Later on, he decided against it because he's not sure he wants to deal with her two possible answers. Either she heard nothing and questions him or she DID hear them (which is why she went distant) and he has to deal with the past or if Renee takes interest again.
Now to my question!
Was I settled for or would he change his mind if Renee became a possibility? I can't help but wonder if he would have still preferred Renee given the chance. It would make me feel better if I received a "no," but I want honesty more, but I doubt I could stay in the relationship if I received a "yes."
Now, the situation with Renee and the rumors happened before I even knew Joe so it IS in the past, yes.
It's been nearly two months of the relationship and around four previous extra months of friendship.
I just wonder about that question. Either I bring it up and receive an answer I may not be okay with or I let it stew in my head and hope it eventually passes. Do any of you have opinions on this matter?
Thank you! | I can't help but wonder if my boyfriend would have preferred a different girl if he had the chance still. She grew distant around the time some nasty rumors spread involving him. I want to ask, but I know wouldn't be okay with one of the two answers. |
t3_333svn | tifu | TIFU by cumming in a girl's mouth | So this happened a few month ago, but basically, I was banging a Tinder date in my bedroom and, when I climaxed, she let me unload all in her mouth. She swallowed everything, and good for her, she was pretty spectacular in the sack. Anyways, she packed up, we shared some awkward chit chat, and parted ways.
About 15 minutes later, she calls me up and asks me what I ate that day/the day before. I started listing stuff I remembered like the pasta I had for dinner the night before, the eggs this morning, and the peanut butter and jelly I had for lunch. Suddenly, she's like, "I gotta go" and hangs up. Now I'm kind of worried, I'm not entirely sure what's going on with her, but whatever.
She calls me like an hour later saying she's pretty sure she had an allergic reaction to my baby gravy and had to use her EpiPen. Apparently her mom wanted to take her to the hospital, but I guess she convinced her the EpiPen was enough. Now, I'm 20 and she's 18 and still in high school, so I was already on the fence about seeing her, but after almost killing her and her mom nearly finding out why, I couldn't do it anymore. I'm just going off what she told me because I didn't see her again after that. | Tinder date had an allergic reaction and needed an EpiPen after she swallowed my load. |
t3_1c4ml6 | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever found out your friends sucked, and if so, how? | A few of my friends and I were planning to go to a concert of a band I love. My boyfriend, John, who I've been dating about a year and a half, is also a long-time fan, and I was trying to make plans with my other friends to see if we could get him a ticket (since when we bought ours he wasn't sure if he would be able to go).
Well, the two boys I was supposed to go with contacted me later, with what I assumed was ticket information. Instead, I got a long-winded message about how "this was supposed to be just the original group of friends", "we already have tickets", "I have a girlfriend but even if she could go I wouldn't invite her". Basically a bunch of crap, since all I needed to know was if it was open-floor seating so my boyfriend could get a ticket, and two of the people in our little group weren't even familiar with the band whereas my boyfriend is a huge fan, like me.
I said in no uncertain terms that I would pay them back for the ticket either way, but it was stupid that John wasn't allowed to go and I wouldn't go to the concert without him. They told me I had made my choice, that I was being inconsiderate of their feelings, that I was trying to forget all my old friends, that I couldn't live on my own ~~the fact that I don't hang out with those guys much anymore obviously has nothing to do with me wanting my boyfriend to come along and everything to do with me being needy~~. Oh, and they told me not to bother paying them back because "we both know you never pay anyone back." | I got kicked out of a group planning to go to a concert (to a band I introduced everyone to) because I wouldn't tell my boyfriend he couldn't come. |
t3_mt5y1 | AskReddit | Could use some advice on a classic problem (x-post from r/seduction) | I used to work with a girl I had a thing for, but she was with a long-time boyfriend, so, naturally, I didn't do or say anything about it. About a year ago, I left that job and have only talked to her a few times via text. Anyway, in a couple weeks I'll be going to a party where I'll see her for the first time since I left that job and she just told me she broke up with her boyfriend (fiance at the time) a few months ago. So I'm wondering if I should sieze the opportunity and ask her out at the party, after we catch up and talk for a while. Also wondering the best way to go about it. I just don't want to seem like a creep who's been waiting out her relationship. I'm also afraid she just needs more time after breaking up with a guy she was with for so long. I just don't want to put her in an awkward position. Advice? | going to be seeing an old crush (who, a couple months ago, broke off an engagement to her long-time boyfriend) after almost a year. Is asking her out the first night I see her in bad taste? |
t3_4s9ig2 | dogs | [Help] Dog lost appetite? Not eating much today | My dog is a 7 year old rescue we have had for 3 weeks. He came to us slightly under weight, he was only at the shelter for a month. They had been feeding him science diet.
When he came to us, I started mixing in some Avoderm canned stew as a topper to one of his meals a day. His poop turned from mushy to solid. I fed him carrots and treats a well.
This week I decided to transition him to AvoDerm dry food, so I've mixed some in with his science diet. Two days ago was when I started mixing the new dry food in. He seemed to love his new food, no issues. Yesterday I gave him a hard boiled egg mixed in with his dry foods and he also managed to get into some left over food I had. The weird part began last night , when we put him to bed we normally give him a dentasix treat, which he eats right up. He didnt touch it, was still on his bed this morning. Today He didnt even finish all his kibble. He's running around like normal. What's up, should I be concerned? | Been transitioning his food for the past 3 days. Last night he didnt eat his bedtime treat and didnt finish his food today. Still active and running around though. |
t3_1qk0lt | AskReddit | What do I need to do to succeed in life? | I'm a 22 year old male, ever since i graduated High School i had to work full time to support my foster family, they have just decided to up and leave to a new state, forcing me to move in with my girlfriend and her family to survive.
I work at Disneyland, my managers love me and tell me i'm going to move up, but i hear horror stories that they tell you this until you become a shift lead and then you get stuck.
I have NO college experience, and i really want to start now before i get older, however i have no idea what to major in or what i want to do. I'm bad at math but great at everything else, sadly, math is what matters most.
Also thinking about becoming a police officer, however my girl does not like this idea.
My girlfriends mother wants me and her to move, this would be both of our first times looking for a new place on our own, i always hear how its so much different in terms of money, So i could really use some good tips if possible.
All I'm looking for is some nuggets of advice, i've never had parents or anyone to watch out for me or look after me, but i try my best. I just want to be able to give my girlfriend and I and good life with little to no money worries. | Young guy looking for nuggets of advice about work, schooling, moving out for the first time, good majors, and how to find out who you want to be in life. |
t3_2hu3ba | relationships | My [16 M] boyfriend keeps buying me expensive things but I [20 F] cannot afford to do the same | My boyfriend's family income is above average and he recently got a job this summer. His parents are going to pay for his education so he can spend the money he earns on whatever he wants. He always treats me out to eat, buys me material things, and he drives me to places outside our city. I, on the other hand, have to pay for my own education. I am currently trying to find a job so that I can pay for my loans.
Usually, we take turns paying for our meals when we go out until recently. Now, he has been paying more often than me. He also wants to buy me more expensive things and I feel guilty that I can't do the same for him. I don't mind spending on him but I am running out of money. A few days ago he told me that he feels like I don't want to spend money on him. I tried explaining that I don't mind spending money on him. However, these words are hard to put into "action" since I am broke at the moment and he doesn't seem convinced at all. I can't seem to tell him that I am broke because I know that he will offer to pay whenever we go out (I like taking turns paying for things).
Any advice as to how I can prove that I don't mind spending money on him? | My boyfriend keeps buying me expensive things but I cannot afford to do the same. Any advice? |
t3_2wgb71 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my SO [23 F] 11 months, I cheated and regret everything | She is the love of my life and I think I fucked everything up last night. We both are in college and go to separate schools not far apart.
For some reason I was browsing craigslist last night and one thing lead to another...I have no idea why I did it and it was the worst experience of my life. I feel extremely guilty and called her crying to her last night but didnt tell her.
I made a huge mistake and wish I could do everything over and I know I will never do anything like this again. I have read that I should never tell her and deal with the guilt and pain myself because I deserve it. But on the other hand I feel like I should be honest. I dont know what to do... we plan on moving in together soon after we both graduate and I hope to marry her someday.
What should I do? Tell her or keep it to my grave? | I wish I could forgot the whole situation, I will never forgive myself for what I did. |
t3_1vz114 | relationships | Me [24F] and the boyfriend [23] can never be alone. | Circumstances: we've been moving very slowly. Haven't had sex yet because he's inexperienced and wants to be cautious about moving in that direction because he felt like it can be a distraction from getting to know eachother. He lives in a house with four other dudes all in their early 20s.
I on the other hand, crazy liberal and love sex but had to move back to my parents' after college.
He's not what I would have picked out for myself, him being sort of a conservative Christian, but he makes me happy and laugh till I'm tearing up and we get along pretty damn well.
The problem is, it's starting to feel like things are heating up but despite being two full grown adults, we can never be alone in a normal setting. Sure we can fool around in the back of his car, but it's getting cramped and old. I can bring him home with me and get nasty in my childhood bedroom while my parents watch tv downstairs, which I'm not above doing but is definitely making things awkward.
His place however is completely off the table. Allegedly the roommates have a deal where they can't have girls in their room with the door closed (found that out after the fact) and now I find out (again after the fact) that he can't even have me there in the house if a third party isn't present. Is this a normal thing among grown men? I'm sort of incredulous about the whole idea.
Also his roommates have never been particularly warm towards me (never been a problem with exes) and rarely talk to me or really acknowledge my attempts at conversations. I have no fucking clue what the problem is, some of these guys have girlfriends too, so it's not like their monks. | BF's roommates won't let be alone with BF. Don't want to be that girl that makes waves among a BF's friends but it's bothering me like crazy. |
t3_3hcmr4 | relationships | My wife [26F] lost her friend tragically in high school. Today is that friend's birthday. How can I [27M] help her mourn? | Hey all,
First time posting here. My wife lost her best friend tragically in a car accident in high school. Though it's been nearly 10 years, she still mourns for her friend on those days.
I am totally supportive of her, I have lost two friends in similar fashion in high school (granted we were not as close as she was with this friend) but my wife was not the type to develop friendships easily and so losing her was like losing a sister. We've been together almost five years at this point and each year I struggle to find ways not just to cheer her up but to help her cope.
As her husband I want to be there for her and help her find a new way of dealing with the pain of loss. I know I can never fully take it away and that's my own struggle as I want to be a positive in her life and be able to fix everything. However, when these days roll around I usually find myself encumbered and unable to help other than being around for when she wants to talk about it, cry, or take her mind off of it.
Is there anyone out there that has had a similar struggle and could help me find new ways of helping her? Or, am I chasing a red herring? Thank you in advance. | Wife lost best friend in high school. She's not the type to talk about feelings. I want to help her cope but am usually lost and feel helpless to do so. |
t3_1brkzh | relationships | Girl (19) going to a formal with another guy and decided to tell me(21) via text message the day of. | Basically I've been seeing this girl for about three months now. Although we never said we were exclusive, it was highly inferred and this is pretty out of norm for her. She has been acting distant for the past week, but said it was because of schoolwork. I also have been flooded the past week so it was not too much of a stretch.
Today when I asked what her plans were she said she was going to a fraternity formal tonight with a guy. Now while I have no problem with this, especially since it was probably planned before we started hanging out, what worries me is that she decided to tell me the day of, over text. Combine that with her distance this last week and I'm not really sure how to approach the situation. I texted her back that she could have told me in person, but there was no response. | Girl who I'm dating(?) decided to tell me that she was going to a fraternity formal with some other guy the day of, over text message after being distant for a week. |
t3_20v53p | relationships | [Update] Is there any hope for me? [20 F] | Previous post:
Hello. I am still reeling from the breakup mentioned from the previous post. I have gotten over my apathy, and most days I live in a numbing blur. I am a bit ashamed to admit this, but I have used some unhealthy measures to "get over" my sadness. (self-mutilation) However, I am not addicted to the action itself. I do try to limit the mutilation as much as I possibly can, and replace it with positive activities.
My main concern is no longer the past, but the future. I am very different in two distinct ways. First of all, I was diagnosed with vaginismus last year. This is a physical condition that prevents me from having sex without it feeling like I'm being stabbed. Second, I realized that I am asexual. I love being in relationships for the emotional support/thrill, but I cannot stand anything sexual/physical.
These two aspects of myself worry me so much because at this moment, I am a university student. At this point in my life, most men are very keenly interested in having sexual relationships. I feel so broken and abnormal when I realize that I can never give a man what he desires at this point in time. I don't know any men who are different, all the guys I've met loved sex. I desperately wish I could find a man who couldn't and didn't want to have sex. I fear that I will live the rest of my life, or at least 20 years, alone. | I am an asexual university student with vaginismus, and every man I've met wants sex in a relationship. (Something I can't give) |
t3_q72k3 | AskReddit | What can we do to make reddit.com faster? | I, like many redditors, enjoy the fuzzy sensation in my brain when I stumble upon a cute baby big in r/aww/ or pretend I'm a professor teaching some idiot what water is in r/explainlikeimfive/. But every now and then, it happens. What you may ask? I search reddit, and it takes 17 seconds to return my results. Or I click on r/todayilearned and it takes 8 seconds to load. Am I an internet speed snob? YES, so sue me. But as AA will say (not like I would know...), the first step towards recovering from poor internet speed functionality is admitting that there is a problem.
Now I am no technology [Mr. Wizard] but there must be some redditors out there who are similarly fed up and want some improvement. So, what can the reddit community think of together to speed this thing up? Do we need to raise money? Do we need more advertising? Server space? Petition? Naked petition? The Annexation of Puerto Rico? Thoughts? | If you were somebody who got things done, what would you do to speed up reddit.com? |
t3_2qj7c7 | relationships | Me [21 M] am not sure if I'm the right guy for "Beca" [21 F] after knowing her for a while | I have a close group of friends of 4 years, one of which is "Clara" [21F]. Through Clara, she would occasionally bring her other close group of friends whom she knew earlier on, one of which was "Beca". I use to not talk too much to Beca as compared to the other girl-friends that she brings out to hang out and i wasnt very close to her either.
I also used to have a personal emotional problem if opening myself up to others after dealing with a lost of an extremely close friend of the opposite gender due to an argument, that was about 3 years ago and Clara and my group of friends know about it as well.
Soon this 2 group of friends went out on holidays together as groups of 4, consisting of Clara, Beca, Dan, and I. During the first trip overseas last year, I had numerous emotional attacks from the incident i mentioned before and it didnt help me in talking to Beca.
After the trip, I went to consult a specialist and also researched on how to open myself to others. While I have not completely fixed the problem, I feel that I have improved in emotional stability.
A year after the first trip, the 4 of us went on another holiday together. Beca and I became the main planners of the trip.
Unlike the past few times I met her, I became very close to her and I feel that I like her. However, when I mention close, I do not mean that we would share alot of things together or talk endlessly. I feel that I am drawn to her, we are able to work together well during the trip and I enjoy her company.
My other 2 friends(Clara and Dan) did notice about this "closeness" and asked if I liked her. I was shy and I just dodged the answer, but I think they soon notice it themselves and began to show signs of trying to match us together or start grinning to each other when we do something together (maybe it's me, but during the latter half of the trip, I notice that they would just "pull back" and let Beca and I walk in front). | I have been travelling with a group of friends and I think I like a friend's friend, but I'm not sure if I am the right guy for her. |
t3_2phlbd | relationship_advice | [F27] Found upskirting video on [M25] boyfriends computer | I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend [M25] for over 2 years. He has always been incredibly affectionate and romantic towards me during this time. We share the same beliefs and agree on the big things in life.
Over the past year, our sex life has not been great, I have had a dip in sex drive, which has happened in other long term relationships I've been in (it is something I need to figure out more).
About a month ago, a woman he knows began to give him head, drunkenly, and he was so upset by his actions and what happened he told me immediately. Our relationship has been rocky since, but we were trying to rebuild that trust.
Last night, I went on his computer, I absolutely was snooping, and I found an upskirt video he took of a woman. This is such a HUGE invasion on privacy, and I feel its kind of sick and perverted. I'm not opposed to porn, but this is completely different. I know this is illegal, and it just makes me sick and sad.
I confronted him immediately, he was straightforward, said he did it, said he was so sick of what he did that he stopped. Given the timeline of things, I do believe that he has stopped.
What I'm struggling with, and what I'm looking for guidance/advice on, is he just a pervert, always will be? I truly believe deep down he is a good person, but he is impulsive and immature in some ways. Is this the kind of act that shows something is fundamentally wrong with a person?
I honestly don't want this relationship to end, there were so many good things, despite the problems, but this latest revelation is really difficult to reconcile. | boyfriend of 2 years (great relationship-romantic, compatible, no abuse) cheated 1 month ago, found an upskirt video last night. Is this a fundamental, unchangable character issue? Am I complete idiot for considering not leaving him? |
t3_2kv6d3 | relationships | I [30m] texted my girlfriend [26f] for 45 minutes while at a company party. She's mad it ended due to my battery dieing. | I'm pretty pissed about this, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I still want to be fair to my girlfriend's side of the story. I will also preface this that she took Plan B 2 nights ago (as I understand it, this messes with women's hormones badly). Add in that we both have busy work lives.
We've been dating for 3 months now. She gets the most out of a relationship by us talking with each other. I get the most out of a relationshpreciated.
My company was holding a halloween party on Thursday night and I asked if she wanted to go. I also have another party Friday night, which I also asked if she would care to go. She's not a social person and prefered not to go to either. Fine.
She left a message saying she's about to go to sleep and asked if I was having fun. Coincidentally I was taking a break in a corner and replied soon after. This was when my phone was at about 20% power. Me knowing how much she likes us talking, I chatted with her for 45 minutes.
My phone got down to 5% and I told her this, meaning we would have to end the conversation. She got irked about it. Saying I should not even bother talking if my phone will die in 30 minutes and we ended the night on a sour note.
My issue is that I took 45 minutes of my party time to talk with her (from a party I invited her to), on a night we knew we would likely not talk. Knowing she loves for us to talk, I did this for her (and a little for me too). She's irked that she "could have gone to bed half an hour ago". I feel like my obvious efforts to give her what she likes have gone completely unappreciated AND she's pissed at ME for even bothering.
I feel pissed and confused. Am I wrong on this? Could this be a Plan B mood swing?? | On a party night that my GF knew we could not have a conversation, I took time to text her for 45 minutes while at a party and phone at 20% power. She's pissed I had to leave with my phone getting to 5% power. Now I'm pissed. |
t3_1b075v | dating_advice | I was OK with become exclusive, but I feel like I'm not ready to be labelled her "boyfriend". How do I backtrack without her thinking I'm trying to break up? Do labels even matter? | Ages: 26 male
23 female
I have known this girl about a month and we both like eachother. She asked me last week to become "exclusive", which I took as we aren't seeing any other people except eachother. In my mind, that is *not* the same as being "official" - boyfriend and girlfriend. To me, she is "the girl I'm seeing", not "my girlfriend".
She started calling me her boyfriend yesterday, and I feel like it's too much too soon. I could see that at some point, but it sounds a lot more serious and I want to be exclusively dating for another month or two before deciding if I want to take that step.
How do I backtrack without making her think I don't want to see her anymore? I want to be exclusive, but not in a relationship. Does that even make sense to anyone else, or am I just being weird about labels?
I like dating her, but to me, a girlfriend is someone I'd introduce to my family, someone who is a large part of my life, and someone who I want to be with long-term. It's just so soon to tell with this girl; it's only been 3 weeks since our first date, and I just need more time to figure out if a relationship is what I want with her.
Thoughts? | I feel like the boyfriend label is too much too soon, but I don't want her to think I'm ending things. I just need more time to decide if an official relationship is what I want as opposed to just "seeing eachother". |
t3_21b0ey | needadvice | Going to fail an exam tomorrow, what would you do? | So I've been studying for hours, and due other classwork I just haven't had enough time as I needed to do a passable job on my exam tomorrow morning. Stressed out and being extremely desperate, I'm seriously thinking about missing the exam and going to the doctors a few hours later and saying I've been having dull throbbing headaches behind my eyes for the past few days due to stress from personal matters, work, schoolwork, etc. (I've actually had this in the past so I could easily describe it, I actually think I might have some type of tension headache) in order to get a doctors note and get an extra day or two to study.
The class syllabus states "Make-ups for examinations will be arranged if your absence is caused by documented illness or personal emergency. A written explanation (including supporting documentation) must be submitted to your instructor; if appropriate, an alternative to the examination will be arranged". As I see it, a doctors note for tension headaches would be a documented illness. Good people of Reddit, morals aside, do you think this would legitimately work? | I'm thinking of missing an exam and going to the doctors for " tension headaches" in order to get a doctors note so I can get a few extra days of studying in. Would this plan work? |
t3_4goafj | relationships | I [23M] need help with this girl [22F] I really like! | Hey guys! I'm from Singapore, so especially if there's any Singaporean girls around your views would be greatly appreciated as well!
I met this girl on Tinder about two weeks ago and from the start I think it's safe to say we hit it off pretty well. We were texting each other almost every other minute and we already went out twice during the first week. She had also said she had fun when we were out together and wouldn't mind going out again.
However things just suddenly changed during the second week. All of a sudden she just stopped replying and against my better judgement I stupidly sent a text asking if I scared her away. She did reply no she was just busy studying so I respected that and kept to myself for the whole week. However even when her papers ended she still wouldn't reply like she would before. At most just a 3 or 4 texts per day and that's it.
I asked her out yesterday though and she did agree, however she cancelled at the last minute saying she needed to visit a friend in the hospital.
Of course I'm not saying I doubt her and she made that story up but is she blowing me off? What did I do wrong and where should I go from here? I'm just so confused as to why right now | Why is she doing this?. |
t3_1icw8u | relationships | My girlfriend [21F] has issues with me [21m] "checking out" other women | OK, so weve always had the porn issue, started dating in highschool she found out I watched porn and freaked.
Over the past 6 years the relationship has been on and off and we recently got an apartment and have been tryin to be serious.
She thinks that I am obsessed with other women (porn, naked pics, hot girls in public) which, being a Male I am certainly attracted to those things, but she keeps taking it farther first it was looking at girls on facebook, then porn, and now she thinks If I have a sexual thought about another girl im not being faithful.
I just dont know what to do I've almost totally stopped browsing girls online, I did today however have a low point and I checked some chicks out.
Since its gotten to the point of sexual thoughts, I feel thats too far but when I explain my side she just presumes Im a perv. I dont believe you can stop sexual thoughts a million thoughts go through my head that I don't pre-determine. | Girlfriend thinks I pay to much attention to other beautiful women. |
t3_2wx64h | relationships | I [23 M] went to a bar in Nicaragua the other night and met someone [24 F]. Didn't have the chance to ask for her number but I really like her. Should I fb friend request her or is that creepy? | I met this really beautiful girl at a bar in Nicaragua (I live and work there) recently. We danced for a little bit and she seemed interested in me. Unfortunately it was loud and we only exchanged names, where we were from, how old we were...basic stuff. She initiated so I assume I made a good impression. She left but told me she was coming back, so I waited, however I was with friends who were in a rush to leave and they were my only ride home.
I ended up leaving before I could ask for her number. BUT, I remembered her name and put it in the search on Facebook. I found her, so the question is, should I message her or just forget about the whole thing? | Missed a chance to get a number, should I use Facebook as a last resort? |
t3_q4s0t | AskReddit | What have you learned about your parents that others wouldn't normally know? | Well today, I learned that my Father is an asshole and doesn't like to be proved wrong. My Mother's laptop (Toshiba doesn't make reliable laptops anymore :/ ) had broken down, from what I had thought to be overheating, I proposed to take it to my colleges tech guys, their really cool and would let me use their tools, to get her pictures and files off the hardrive before she sent it in. Well my Father thought that it would be wrong and that it would void the warranty, well I had read something about it in the agreement for the warranty when I had bought it. So to see who was right I called tech support for toshiba and asked "Would it void the warranty if I took the harddrive and backed up files from it? I am A+ certified." Well they said "No, it is considered to be common use such as changing ram and replacing keyboard keys" So I told him about it and instead of him saying that he was sorry, etc. He started to yelling, and saying that I thought I knew everything. Needless to say this wasn't the first time, we also got into an argument about what allied country did the most damage to the germans (He is an extreme right-wing patriot) I said the russians destroyed nearly 80% of germany's ground forces and that america didn't join in full till around the end of the war. And then I was trying to teach my little brother science telling him about the big bang and planck's constant he started yelling saying he didn't want that kind of devil talk in his house. Now I'm not atheist, but I have more of a scientific view of god and Christianity, and I think my dad is fucking nuts. Now people normally see him with a fake plastered on face, with a cool look. If I told anyone that knew him for any amount of time they wouldn't believe me at all. | My dad is an asshole who doesn't like to be proved wrong. |
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