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t3_2gtpx9 | relationships | Me [25 M] and my _gf__ [22 F] of over 2years recently broke up and Not sure where she is staying, should I ask? | I have contemplating writing something here in regards to our relationship and how we broke up, but simply put, she did not give me much closure and I am not entirely concerned about figuring that out here.
Because of some extreme circumstances with her past and family, she lived with me and my parents for most of the relationship. When we broke up, she left pretty quickly and because I was such a mess I had no issues with her taking most of (now pretty much all) of her stuff. She moved across the country to live with me and my family, so she doesn't know many people around here. She did start to become better friends with people from work and one of them was initially going to let her stay on her couch, but that didn't work out. We did speak briefly a couple days after the break up and she mentioned that a family member was going to help her get a place, but this was hard to imagine because of how much money it is for a studio/one bedroom around here. What I am getting to is that three weeks later I have no idea where she is staying. She must be doing somewhat okay because I have seen her on campus at the school we both go to. I have pretty much maintained no contact except to give her back some important things she really needed.
It's obviously still very recent and she's at least getting by, so it's not like I have that to be worried about. I still really care for her, especially because she's had a pretty rough life in terms of bouncing from one house to the next and never really having a consistent, supporting family or SO.
Basically, I want to know what you guys think about reaching out to her just to see where she's staying (I don't need an address) and that she's doing okay. I am not angry, even though she may be seeing someone else. It would just bring me peace of mind through my own healing process to know that she's safe. So what do you guys think? Sorry if it seems like I wrote a lot without giving enough details, I am willing to elaborate on some things if needed. | Girlfriend of 2 years moves out and doesn't tell me where she is living. I want to know if it's appropriate for me to ask despite trying no contact. |
t3_1711b0 | relationships | My Cuckold Fetish is Hurting my Relationships | I have a bizarre fantasy (cuckolding) and I want some advice on how to get over it, but please don't tell me to see a therapist: I won't do it.
Basically if you met me you wouldn't know I'm into this. I'm good-looking, fit, and in my twenties (27). Women like me and I get hit on. The few women I've told about this refuse to believe me and go on as if I'm joking or as if nothing happened.
But I can't stop imagining my gf (this is a not-serious gf of two months, but my problem is general and doesn't just have to do with her) being fucked by a muscular, alpha young stud who is beating up her pussy in my own bed. To me the mix of jealousy and lust and humiliation I get from this is toxic. But I beat off to it all the time. I especially get off on it when I imagine her talking down to me or making me get them drinks. I like to think of the guy as badass, jacked, and tan/slightly darker in skin tone than me. I even invited a Brazilian guy from my gym with us to drinks (he knew about it, she didn't) but nothing came of it.
It's doing a mindfuck on me and I feel sexually inadequate because of it, but also aroused. It turns me on at the same time, I'm not sure if there are certain things I can do to not have these fantasies. Maybe only making it happen will make it go away. | cuckold fetish is making it difficult for me to enjoy normal relationships, how do I get rid of it? |
t3_4741c2 | relationships | Me [22 M] and my X [20 F] were together for 2.5 years. We recently started talking again. How do i make the next move? | My x-girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. We haven't really had any contact for those 3 months. Until yesterday. She established contact through snapchat (Her way of controlling her limits for now).
Tonight we were together for the first time since the breakup. I haven't hidden the fact, that i still love her, and still want her back. I obviously respect her choice and wish her all the happiness in the world.
Still want her back though.
She was lying on my chest, crying that she missed me. But she keeps saying that we shouldn't be together.
I know there are still some feelings hidden inside her, and I want them to grow.
How do i make a subtle move, to make her get her feelings back? | My x-girlfriend and I re-established contact recently. Tonight she lay on my chest, crying that she missed me, but at the moment, she don't think we should be together. How do i make her change her mind? |
t3_2s564m | relationships | Me [19 M] struggling with possible feelings for a close friend [19 F] | This is my second year in college and my first year being single in college. I experienced a breakup at the beginning of the year. Around the same time, my friend (called Noel for clarity) was going through troubles with her boyfriend and sought me out for advice on the subject many times. As this went on, we grew closer and closer together. Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend and the advice visits continued.
As these visits became more and more frequent, we began to talk about what we want in people that we date. What was perplexing is that her criteria described me almost perfectly. She even made note of this and we laughed it off. However, it had me sort of thinking that maybe there was interest and that maybe there was a chance.
Immediately, I thought that there was a pretty strong chance that I'm misreading the signs and that I should stick to being her friend, but I constantly find myself unable to escape the fact that I've got this attraction to her.
The thing is that I need to know if telling her how I feel has too much of a risk of jeopardizing all that we've built so far (if she rejects me). Because I feel like I either need to find someone else (which is slowgoing) or just tell her how I feel. Can anyone help me? | Grew close to a friend of mine, started developing feelings. I need to know if telling her how I feel won't cause too much of what we have to disappear. |
t3_331p0n | tifu | TIFU and said I like...your face | Background: My girlfriend loves to Cosplay. She brought me to a small, but respectable con. The second day we were there we went as The Joker and Harley Quinn (I know, real original). We looked good. I was rocking the purple suit, white face, scars...I mean I was freaky!
The FU: As we were walking around a fellow Joker cosplayer said, "Hey, I like the suit!" Now I didn't want to be rude, I had to compliment him back. But what is there to compliment? I panicked. "Yeah? Thanks! I like...your face." Confusion hits him. I grab my girlfriend's hand and skedaddle out of there as quick as I could. Fellow Joker. If you read this. I apologize. Your cosplay looked great too! I'm just extremely socially awkward. | I said I liked a guy's face in front of my girlfriend. |
t3_1s2r8u | relationships | Me [26M] & coworker [31F] things are suddenly different (worst) | I dont know if I'm in the right place, I'm fairly new to this.
Here is the story. coworker [31F] & Me [26M] know and work together since like 3 years or so. We starter hanging outside the office a year ago, going to the movie, diner, meeting her friends, celebrating thankgiving with her, we also went on vacation together with a friend 6 month ago. She even organised my birthday (I did the organisation of her's).
Anyway. We are friends. I want more now. I havn't make a move yet, because with thanksgiving coming up, I didn't wanted to make things awkward. We organised a thanksgiving diner at her place saturday evening, invited some friends, cooked the whole diner together and so on. Since when I left sunday at 2 or 3 a.m. She barley talked to me, almost dont say hello in the morning, is quite peeved when she talk to me, ignore me for the most part. And as I can see, it's only towards me. So I dont quite get it, and it makes me sick.
What's going on? | trouble with coworker for no reasons. |
t3_g3d9o | AskReddit | Found craigslist listing of my stolen bike, is there a way to trace his number? | A few homies from pdxfixed forums found the listing this morning. I was really close to getting him to meet up with one of my friends in Portland(I'm currently in Corvallis preparing for finals), but he stopped responding to texts. He took off the listing and said that he sold the bike. But I think he just got scared and took down the listing. I also googled his number and see that he had a few other bikes up also that he took down.
He says his name is Steven, and since my bike was stolen on the Oregon State campus, I'm assume that he is also a student there.
His number is 503-421-6298
here is a picture of the listing
here is my missing bike flyer with pictures of my bike | Found listing of my stolen bike, need way to trace his number to get his info |
t3_1i9boj | relationships | Should I (23M) go camping with my best friend or to my gf's (25F) dad's retirement party? | A couple months ago, my girlfriend (of 2+ years), our friends, and I had planned a big camping trip. Last month, she found out that her dad's retirement party for the Navy (held on the USS Constitution) was the same weekend we had been planning to go. I managed to find new reservations for the campsite for a different week, but a good friend of mine had already bought plane tickets (Chicago to Boston) for him and his girlfriend to come camping for the weekend. He's pretty determined to get camping in, and will probably go regardless of my decision.
The party is Saturday night, so I could leave very early Sunday night and be with them Sunday-Monday, but it's a 5 hour drive each way. Do I miss seeing my friend altogether and go to the party, or skip the party and go camping? | my girlfriend's dad's Navy retirement party is the same weekend I'd already planned a camping trip with my best friend. He's coming in from Chicago with his girlfriend. |
t3_s7akx | AskReddit | Not sure what to do... | My girlfriend lives in a rough neighborhood and is repeatedly getting harassed by one of her neighbors because she is very pretty white girl in an all black neighborhood, it has gotten to point where he is yelling disgusting things at her in front of her 3 year old son. My instincts tell me just to kick the dudes ass and get it over with just to get him to stop, but the problem is he is friends with the rest of the block so even if I do knock him out, I will most likely end up hospitalized or worse. I'm afraid that if she gets the police involved it may only make things worse. I live in a safe neighborhood a half an hr from her house, where she knows she is always welcome, but she won't move in because we have only been dating for 4 months, but I'm worried about her safety. | girlfriend is getting harassed, not sure what to do |
t3_4cvz6s | relationships | Me [21M] fell for her[21F] again. | hey this will be quite a long story but please read it out as I couldn't believe this happened again. I will be as brief as possible.
Okay it all started when i was in year 8 (7 years ago), when i started to have this small crush on this girl (her). It slowly grew as time passed by. A year later, i confessed and unfortunately was rejected. Due to me being really soft and sensitive, i was pretty devastated. It was the first heartbreak i have ever experienced.
Time passed (1-2years) and there was i still having feelings for her. Things immediately changed when I was told by my family that i was moving to Australia (was studying high school in Malaysia). After being a year in Australia, i realised i was starting to move on. We sometimes occasionally chat as good friends during the time we were far away.
Fast forward to present day, out of all possibilities, she has also moved to Australia and currently studying in the same city as i am in. Unfortunately, because now that we occasionally see each other now, I realised i have fallen for her again, and a lot deeper this time. Take note that so far in my life, i have only had 2 crushes, her and a small one few years back.
I could not actually believe i would fall for her again. I told one of my best friends and he is pretty concerned too since he said there is no chance we are gonna date. Reason being too close as friends, rejected before etc etc. Now that i have also fallen deeper, i can't seem to move on. I now hate the fact that out of all the places and chances she actually ended up here with me. Such a curse.
She still doesn't know that i started having feelings for her again. What should i do? | Had a school crush 7 years ago in another country. Rejected me, devastated and heartbroken. Moved to Australia and moved on. Now she moved to the same place as me. Fell for her again. In deep trouble. |
t3_3x0zwv | relationships | Me [22 M] just lost the girl I was seeing [22 F] for 2-3 months, really truing to cope. | Hey everyone, was hoping to get some advice / how to cope. I was seeing a really amazing girl for close to 3 months, and I just lost her. We went on dates, had sex, she met all my friends, was really blossoming into something nice (I thought). I even took the initiative to plan all the dates and hangouts, I really wanted to put in effort. Well, around the 2 months mark she starts to ghost me......and i got the courage to ask why. She had gotten back with an ex (who had cheated on her), and her explanations were this : I was happy with you but we never talked about exclusivity, and he kept coming back to get back togethor with me (the ex). She told me she was really into me but I: treated her like "just a friend" and that other guys she had dated before treated her differently. She said she had no idea where my head was at so she had to move on. This girl is probably the most attractive girl Ive ever been with, and I had been so excited about her I failed to treat her like a lady. Any advice on how to get over this? Why would she have stuck around if she were so unhappy? Is it always up to guys to make the exclusive talk? | Seeing each other for 3 months, she ghosted me, as I failed to treat her like a "lady" or like a guy usually treats a potential girlfriend. I had it all right in front of me and it looks like a blew it.... |
t3_iwe1m | relationships | My gf and I seem to have the stereotypical roles reversed when it comes to "talking about it." | Me: male, 19
Her: female, 18
Relationship of about 15 months
I always hear women complain that men don't talk enough, that they won't open up, that they don't seem to want support.
On the other hand, men complain that women talk and think too much about problems. I've always thought that this was total BS, that it's very important to be open about things and to share thoughts and feelings in a relationship. I understand that there is probably a comfortable medium that has to be reached; too much or too little can be bad.
My girlfriend disagrees with me in every way about this. She doesn't want to open up about anything (considering we've been together for some time, I think at least some trust is in order). She doesn't want support, she wants to "do it all on [her] own." I try to tell her that when I say that I love her, it means that I'll do anything to help her with anything that I can, and it won't be a burden to me. She just won't bite. All I ever get from her is a smiling face that I sometimes doubt.
Her father died when she was about 10ish I believe. She doesn't like to talk much about it, but I don't blame her for shying from such a large issue. I wonder if this event led to her "do it on my own" mentality. I don't see it in the rest of her family, they all cooperate very well at doing all sorts of things.
She refuses to give real answers when I ask about what's bothering her, and she refuses to acknowledge that something is ever bothering me. I don't know if I'm the kind of person that just wants to "do it on my own," I need that kind of support. She has plainly told me that she believes that if she ignores her issues (and mine, presumably), that they will go away. This isn't healthy...right?? | My girlfriend doesn't like to talk with me about her problems or mine, and I wish the opposite. Our stereotypes (silent male, talkative female) appear to have been reversed (silent female, talkative male). |
t3_30rhps | relationships | Me [23M] with my ex[23F] together 2 years still have strong feelings for each other | I'll try to keep this as short as possible, it may end up a wall of text. Met a great girl a few years ago, we slowly became close friends and eventually started dating. Dates for a period of a year quite happily, and then I got a job working away from home. Over the course of our next year together my job slowly hurt our relationship, being gone so long at a time meant less time to each other and created lots of resentment. I also experienced a few tragic events in the loss of close friends, between my job and these I fell into a depression. This and our recurring issues over long distance drove us apart slowly until she ended things.
I am now currently working in our city again, on a permanent basis. We talked about the possibility of dating again, but she says the spark of our original relationship is gone. She still loves me, and I her, but that is all that's left on her side. I still madly love her, and everything about her. She says she wants me in her life, and the time we spent trying no contact with each other was as difficult for her as for me.
She has said multiple times that under different circumstances we would have stayed together, and hopes that maybe the in the future we may retry a relationship, which makes me wonder if she does still truly want to try now. My question is whether there is anything to do to create that spark again, or if I truly should move on | Ex and I still very close, can't tell if she's wanting me to fight for her or if I should move on |
t3_14jil7 | BreakUps | My drinking has ruined my relationship and I've lost my better half. When will this awful pain stop? | I love drinking. Too much. I can't stop once I start and I lie, do stupid, hurtful things to my boyfriend. I cannot believe he has put up with me for so long. I can't believe it has taken me so many years to realize this. It's not like I didn't see it coming; both my parents are alcoholics, (dad in recovery) and plenty of uncles. Last night was the last straw for bf, he broke up with me. And it took me all day to get sober and realize what the fuck I need to do.
So I've decided to start AA next week, get my ass back in therapy and work on the 6 million personal demons that are keeping me from living a full, happy life. I need to become a person I can love, so I can be in a healthy relationship again someday.
But how can I even begin to love myself when I feel so broken. We were so in love, recently set a time-line to get engaged. I feel like without him I will could never be happy. When does this stop? Will it ever stop? I am a lonely, shell of a human. | realized my drinking is atrocious, trying to get better but am completely crushed about losing my boyfriend. Wondering how long the pain lasts. |
t3_1nqwgl | AskReddit | Reddit, what's the strangest/weirdest/scariest encounter you've ever had with an insect/arachnid/invertebrate/etc? | I think my scariest such moment was a time that I was scuba diving at a place called [Shaw's Cove] in Laguna Beach, CA. The reef is a roughly straight wall for a while, but eventually the reef breaks up and parts end up in your path. The result is that you'll run into a wall or big boulders if you just keep swimming straight.
Anyways, I was doing a night dive once and wasn't expecting a rock wall to be in my way. I was looking in a different direction and swept my light forward, which caught the cliff. I then brought it completely in front of me and up the wall and about 6 inches from my face was one of the largest [sheep crabs] I've ever seen. I screamed like a mofo into my regulator and quickly backed up.
([More info on sheep crabs here] for the curious.)
Generally speaking they're harmless, but man was that an unwelcome surprise. | I was scared by a dirty, underwater basketball with legs. What's your story? |
t3_1lom1u | offmychest | I love my best friend more than my girlfriend | Me and my best friend (lets call her Cass) have been extremely close for the past 3 and a half years, but only now do I realize that our friendship was more than most friendships.
When we first started to become close, it was talking, texting, or hanging out every moment we could, from going to breakfast, or early morning walks or lunch to going over to my house to stay up late and watch a movie or talk about things (anything, it ranged from corny jokes, pop culture or just lame things to our hopes and aspirations, what we wanted to grow up to be when we were little and how some of our dreams were crushed).
All that changed momentarily, 10 months ago I got into a relationship with a girl who I thought was a lot like me, but I noticed that Cass started to back off in our friendship, she became less open and peppy and her usual self when we hung out, and the amount of time when hung out drastically reduced.
I talked to her about it about 5 months ago and she just kind of ignored it, then about 3 months ago, I call her up and ask her if she wanted to come over to help me with some stuff and slowly the friendship started to return to it's old state. Only now there's a lot more hugging and her teasing me when I do something kind of childish or stupid and there's a lot of me carrying her around on my shoulders (don't know how that even started).
And I think I love her... | Friendship is really close and I think the care I have for my best friend has blossomed into love |
t3_edjk7 | AskReddit | If you're not having kids, who will take care of you when you are old? | I am not planning on having children any time soon, if at all in my lifetime. I've got a great-grandmother who's over 100 and won't die. I've got a grandmother in relatively poor health. And a grandfather in decent health. They all live alone. They all had at least 4 kids. They all need someone to check on them relatively frequently. They all have money. What bothers me is that I can't think of a single friend of mine with a grandparent in a similar position who's parents aren't taking care of that parent in some way. I guess you could argue that having money would mean that you would be able to provide for your care in your old age, but not all of us can rely on that. Social services are pretty lacking for the elderly or poor. | Who exactly is going to take care of us when we get old if we don't have kids and are not wealthy? |
t3_2oxuc3 | relationships | Me [19M] has occasional thoughts about other girls | Hi, me [19M] is currently in an on-going relationship [1 1/2 Years] with my girlfriend [19F].
We met through church and have a really strong relationship, she is my best friend. We've been there for each other for many hardships and have been with each other from the end of high school to now our second year of college. We are also a LDR, about a 2 1/2 hour commute but we see each other every 2-3 weeks for an entire weekend usually.
I've never really been single. From the end of my sophomore year of high school to the end of my senior year, I was in a relationship then in between then was about a month of being single before I met my current girlfriend.
Sometimes thoughts of being single come to mind and I've always dismissed them, talking to one or two friends about it. I've come to a conclusion that it's normal, but.. sometimes I want to meet other people.
Don't get me wrong! I LOVE my girlfriend, she is amazing. Without her I wouldn't be as strong in my faith, education, family, and my own self esteem. We are a great couple together, and to be honest she is someone who I WANT to marry, she's the type of girl I am proud to show to my parents.
But yeah.. sometimes it might be a girl I find attractive, or sometimes I just want to meet other people. | Curious about dating/single life, but in a GREAT relationship. |
t3_4eeyq5 | relationships | Is she[25f] stringing me[23m] along? Playing hard to get? | We've been dating for 3 weeks, which includes 5 meet ups. I really like her, and want more with her, the thing is, I'm not sure she feels the same.
She's turned down sex every time I try, saying she'd rather go slow because she was burned in the past. The makes me afraid that she's either just using me for an emotional connection, or just stringing me along until someone else pops up. It's just a blow to the ego, like I'm not worthy of sex or something.
There's good chemistry, kissing, cuddling, and good times had. I just don't know if I can keep seeing her if she's going to keep rejecting me on sex.
I know I should probably communicate some of this. I just don't want to dump all of my fears out either. Any advice in what's going on? Or what I should ask/say? | Dating girl, signs of attraction are present, but may be a classic case of stringing me along. |
t3_4zwedk | relationships | I (20M) got cheated on by my gf (20F) and can't seem to function properly | I'm bad at writing so sorry for mistakes.
My gf and I started dating a year and 10 months ago before that we were friends for 2 months. We moved in together 6 months into our relationship and had been living together ever since. Now she cheated on me. I can't move out neither can She. She is now dating the guy she cheated on me with.
She wants to try and be friends which I could do I guess. We've been broken up for a week now. I have bad anxiety and get panic attacks super bad since we broke up and I found out she cheated on me. My family lives away and I have work so i can't just skip things and go there for few days either... Now whenever I have a panic attack I'm alone or she's there trying to hold me and make me feel better. While she's doing that all I can think of is her making out and doing shit with the guy she cheated on me with.
Her mom came over to visit her today and I had a panic attack thinking of him going to her house for christmas and thanks giving and for all the holidays where I thought I'd be.
I don't understand why I can't just not think about it, I know she cheated on me then why do I keep picturing myself with her in the future, thinking one day we'll be together. I don't say this to her but I actually want her to come to my room cuddle me and make me feel better like she used too.
I used to have some college but she made me drop all contact with them and most of my highschool friends are in my hometown and I feel so alone. | My gf cheated on me and we broke up but we live together. I can't seem to put it in my head that she cheated and hate her... I keep picturing myself with her in life and keep thinking about her. |
t3_ybjlf | AskReddit | Reddit, I'm having an anxiety attack over work. What do YOU do to muster the courage to go to work when there's an important meeting? | Basically, I've been sitting here making myself sick with anxiety because of this upcoming meeting today. A few weeks ago I finally broke down and told my manager's supervisor that my manager had been picking on me and treating me like shit. I sent the big boss a very eloquent, fully detailed email in regards to the matter and met with her later that day.. she hadn't read the email yet. I briefly summed up the email to her in the meeting and she decided to pull in an extra higher-up and my manager to sit down and talk about it. My manager wasn't there that day. Fast forward a few days and here I am, about to go into work to this meeting.
I've literally worked myself up into a vomit-frenzy. I'm considering quitting despite KNOWING that I did nothing wrong. I hate these types of confrontation, much less with three of my superiors in the same room. I've tried going over all the things I intend to say, and possible ways the conversations could go, but I don't know the extra bosses well enough to know what they will think about the whole ordeal.
Also, my manager has been with the company 10 years. My first anniversary from being hired isn't until September 23rd. I'm such an idiot for even complaining, but it had gotten to the point where she was writing me up for completely bogus things that never even happened and I have proof they never happened.
What to do? I don't want to quit, but I'm scared. | I'm a chickenshit because my manager has been bullying me, and I don't want to go to work. Considering quitting. |
t3_4vs303 | legaladvice | (ex)-gf stole my guitar after I broke up with her during and argument at my house. Can I go to small claims court without pressing criminal charges? | [California]
It's been nearly a month. It's been hard to be patient because this guitar is my baby and I use it to play shows with my band. I've given her an ample amount of time to come to her senses. I filed a police report last week so the police could check the pawn shops with the serial number, but told them not to press charges. I gave them her phone number when I filed the report and now she thinks she has a warrant and will get charged even if I don't press charges. I told her I will press charges if she doesn't return it. (I believed it was the only way to get my guitar returned or compensated for).
Now she is saying that if I remove her name from the report, she will get my guitar back or compensate for it. I've told her that I haven't pressed charges but I will, and that I will remove her name as soon as she returns it. I recently learned that pressing criminal charges won't recover my stolen property, which is really all I'm interested in. Am I able to have her ordered to return or compensate the guitar she stole in small claims court? Can I do this without pressing criminal charges? Any advice on this process? | Can I recover stolen property by going to small claims court without pressing criminal charges? |
t3_2nt5uu | askwomenadvice | How do answer this girl, when she asks why "I just want to be friends"? | So this girl and me got to talking earlier this week.
She's been sweet-talking me, telling me only I understand her; says I'm the one she likes. She told me to call her and say when I could come over to her place today. She didn't pick up, but soon texted back *"I'm eating, I'll call you right back".*
I waited, and waited, and she never called. 6 hours later she sends me a text message saying *"Sorry that I wasn't feeling well and couldn't hang out. Are you free tomorrow?"*. I text her and tell her I have plans (which I do).
It hurt me. It did. When I see her Monday (school), I plan on telling her we're just going to be friends. But I don't know how to respond if she asks why? | ! Girl says she likes me. She said she call me, but never did. She left me hanging for 6 hours. She then texts me and asks if I can hang out tomorrow, which I cannot. I'm displeased and hurt, and am going to tell her Monday I just want to be friends with her. What do I say when she asks "Why?" without being mean. |
t3_3sydhs | relationships | I [23F] am seeking advice about hookups | I've recently become single after a long term relationship and thought that I would try meeting people online. I've met up with various guys over drinks at a bar and usually have very interesting conversations. I'm generally pretty good with small talk and try to be funny and lighthearted. We usually come back to my place afterwards and hook up. Overall it's a really fun night and the mornings aren't awkward either. However no one has texted me back afterwards and I don't understand why. I realize that we are not going to fall in love, but why doesn't anyone want to be casual friends or even friends with benefits? Is it me? Do guys just want a one night stand? I was just hoping for some insight from guys who have had a good night with a girl, but didn't end up contacting them again. What was your reason?
Some more information on myself. I am currently in medical school and have my own apartment and car. I'm 5'6 and 50kg so I am pretty in shape. I'm not gorgeous but definitely not ugly. And in general I have a pretty easy going personality. | I have a fun night with guys and wouldn't mind keeping in touch but don't get any responses back |
t3_2l4rn3 | relationships | My GF[27F] got a lucrative job offer at a foreign country. I [26M] will be unemployed soon. Do I choose employment or a relationship? Need advice. | I graduated last year, and my currently job contract will expire next June at the latest, so I will need to look for another job pretty soon.
My GF recently got a job offer for a company in another country with a very high income, she also speaks the language so there is no doubt she will fit right in. She wants me to go with her when my contract expires. The thing is, I don't speak the language so I'm doubtful that I'd be able to find a decent enough job compared to the options I have back home.
My worst fear is that if I go with her, I won't be able to find a job and spend up my savings resulting in me having to go home broke and alone. I also don't want to rely on her financially.
Most of my friends around my age already have families or have impressive financial plans for retirement and what not, and I feel like I'm behind and don't want to end up wasting a year or two just to end up with nothing. For me, the ideal situation is that I will be able to find a great job where she will be going and we live happily ever after.
I just want to hear what you guys think, and if anyone has experienced this before, how did it work out for you?
What would you do in my situation? All advice/input is welcome. Thanks! | My employment contract is ending, GF got a job at a foreign country and wants me to go with her. |
t3_44ez4n | tifu | TIFU by Irish dancing | This happened last year, not today, but anyways, I was at a competition the day before my birthday and was doing my hornpipe. I was did a batter, which is basically doing two taps with your foot with the tip of the shoe (a video if you want to see it, skip to 1:20 when felt my ankle twist. It didn't hurt that much, so I finished my step (probably about a minute of dancing). I went back in line (you have to stand with your feet crossed and turned out at the back of the stage and wait for everyone in your comp to go) and realized that my foot actually really hurt. I sucked it up and climbed up stairs in a rather large stadium to check my results, then walked to the car and put a half-melted ice pack on my ankle. Needless to say, it's a terrible idea using your foot so much after you injure your ankle, and it hurt for another week and I spent my birthday icing my ankle. | I twisted my ankle Irish dancing, continued putting weight on it, it hurt for a week. |
t3_q2wzo | BreakUps | Breaking up and getting back together? Does this ever work? | Me (21M) and my (now) ex girlfriend (22F) of 5ish months broke up around 2 weeks ago but continued to hang out and sleep together (no sex, just sleeping) for a while afterwards. Just recently has this stopped.
At the risk of sounding too hopeful, I still think there's at least a decent chance we could get back together in the future. I think I figured out why we broke up (I think I was inadvertently being a little too needy/insecure which caused her to lose attraction/interest) and am following up on this by giving her space. I think once she realizes that my life does not revolve around her and that I don't need her, she might reconsider. I am not banking on this though obviously and moving on as best as I can.
My question to all the redditors in relationships now is, has this ever worked before? How were things different the second time around as opposed to the first? | Decent chance me and my ex might get back together after she's had some time to herself. Wondering if this has ever worked out for anyone. |
t3_4w43rc | relationships | My [27M] friend [27M] really annoying when he does something he thinks is cool | He was always the type of person that would not do anything, hard to convince to come along. Now he went to a hipster beach resort last month full of well off people who pretend to be poor and that's the only thing he talks about. He's also the type who always spends all of his money and then comes to me in case he needs a hand to pay for something urgent that came up.
Last night we talked about how he is always low on cash even though he earns the same as me. Whenever this discussion comes up, he flips out and starts telling me how he doesn't care about money and that he's living his life to the fullest and that I will die an old man with all my money next to me. He. went. to. one. place. He didn't do anything else this year.
He knows I travelled more than he did this year and that I go out more than he does, but he still continues to berate me.
Today he had this grin on his face and told me to take 2 days off work and go with him to this hipster beach resort. I refused. He said I wasn't spontaneous and again he went on with his berating.
How do I handle these types of people? I can't get mad because I lose. Instantly. It's like he wants to see me mad just so he could feel better about himself. It's like I'm playing minesweeper.
I'm trying to learn to ignore people who just want to pick a fight, but that's no way to live. I just want to tell him to fuck off, but that will just make things worse. He always seems to know how to spin it in his mind so that I'm the guilty one. | Friend annoying after going somewhere nice and tries to make everyone that doesn't share his views like they're not living their lives even though he never really does anything. |
t3_10t7n8 | running | Right shoes, wrong shoes... anyone with a bad experience on shoes they'd been recommended? | I thought I'd share my experience here and I'd like to hear if any of you has been through something similar.
I'm new to running, I've only just started about a month ago, with the view to complete a half marathon by the end of this year. The first couple of times I went out I just used my old trainers (old, but rarely used, as I was mainly rock climbing which obviously requires other footwear), but then I thought I'd invest and just buy myself proper running shoes.
I went to a store where someone evaluated my pronation by filming my feet while I was running on a treadmill, and then suggesting me to buy shoes for mild overpronation (so the pronation wasn't actually measured). I did take his word, because I'm aware that I tend to have slightly flat feet, and I bought some Adidas shoes.
I started running with the new shoes and I my ankles and the back of my knees started to ache. I thought maybe it was just matter of getting used to the shoes, because I noticed that the pain would go away as I warmed up. But within 10 days I reached the point in which I could not run any more, and the ache would appear even when I was just walking down a staircase with normal shoes.
I stopped running all together, and then resumed, this time again with my old trainers. Everything seems fine, it's been more than a week now, I ran 7K last Saturday and yes, it was tiring, but my legs don't ache at all.
Did anyone here have troubles with shoes they'd been suggested, which should be appropriate for their type of pronation?
I've been suggested to see a physio who specialises in this sort of things and get that checked and out of the way (it's not too expensive apparently).
Also, a friend of mine keeps going on about Asics shoes, she says that for running they're by far the best. Do you guys agree with this? | Got recommended running shoes that caused pain, so reverted back to random trainers I had before. |
t3_24qz5z | relationships | How do I (24M) get my girlfriend (26F) to feel sexy? | I am with this absolutely amazing women, who for lack of better terms, is damaged. She was emotionally, and sometimes physically, beat down for a long time. I've known her and been close friends with her for about a decade. We have been an item and having sex for about six months now and from the beginning she has been extremely self conscious about her body and all. To me she is the definition of beautiful, her attitude, personality, looks, and everything else are truly gorgeous, problem is she thinks she isn't good enough, and no matter how many times I say it or leave her cards in the morning when I go to work reminding her how amazing she is, she seems to just brush it off. All I want is for her to be able to see herself through my eyes, to know that she is amazing, beautiful, and quite frankly the reason my heart beats most of the time. Help? | Girlfriend is self conscious due to prior relationships want to help her see how great she really is. |
t3_2w6not | relationships | I [19F] found my boyfriend [26M] emailing himself nudes of his ex | I have been my boyfriend for coming up to a year now, and we share a room in my mums house together, living together. We are pretty steady going and have a holiday booked for America together in April. However I admittedly have a few jealousy issues about his exes and have some body and self confidence issues myself.
Last night I found he was emailing himself pictures of his ex in her underwear after he asked me to check his email for train tickets to print off. I feel totally betrayed and quite sick.
I confronted him and he said he doesn't know know why he did it. It actually got a bit out of hand and we argued intensely. Calmed down now but I don't know what to do.
It puts a big question mark over our relationship. I feel like my jealousy issues are going to get even more out of hand and it makes the relationship quite toxic, however it's not something worth breaking up over like real cheating, but it's still a betrayal in my eyes. The fact he went out of his way to keep the nudes confuses me. He sent them to his other email to ensure he still had them. He says he hasn't spoken to her in 18 months but I'm not sure what to believe any more. It makes me feel quite worthless when he knows I was already mega paranoid!
I'm just not sure what to do and would like some guidance. | Found my boyfriend emailing pictures of his ex in her underwear to herself. Feel sick, paranoid and betrayed. Not sure what to do next. Help please. |
t3_iwwb2 | self | My editor says if I can get a million FB likes for my page ill get a new car (screenshot inside) | So I write for [this] hardware review site (unpaid) I also happen to drive a POS (1993 Chevy camaro v6, no headliner, no ac, and a serious electrical problem.
I have been trying to help increase our traffic and I started the [Facebook page] as a way to generate more interest.
Today he told me [screeshot] that if I can hit 1 million "likes" he'll help me buy a new car.
I know he's not serious but he has invested more than ten years in this site, the content is all written by unpaid staff (we do get to keep most of the hardware), and I enjoy the work.
Also, if you have time email me some suggestions. Feedback helps drive better traffic organically | Editor jokingly told me 1mill FB "likes" he'll buy me new car. |
t3_26kw5m | relationships | Hey reddit, I'm a bit shy on the situation but I would like your take. | I feel as though it seems improbable but the fact of the matter is that I think I fell in love when I was 14 to a girl. I'm 17 now and I can't seem to get her off my mind even today. I think that maybe the fact that I haven't been able to get her off my mind a day in my life since I met her. I don't know if I like her or whether I miss the feeling of falling for somebody. It was intoxicating and I'm addicted to the feeling. I feel depressed that I haven't felt it since and I yearn for it. What do you think I'm feeling because I would like to put an answer as to what I should do about this feeling I have in my heart. | I think I fell in love, I yearn for the feeling, and I'm looking for solutions from you guys. |
t3_2tek71 | relationships | I[22 F] recently broke up with my boyfriend [31 M] after nearly 3 years. Feeling super down, encouragement etc would be appreciated | I know it was the right thing to do, I didn't feel about him the same way he felt about me. But it's horrible, for our entire relationship I've gotten to know his group of friends and have become really close with them, hanging out every weekend, every big event and a lot of weekdays too. But since breaking up they haven't contacted me at all, I tried saying something to one of them but he responded with one-word answers.
I totally understand of course, my ex is heartbroken and they want to show that they're there for him and they're rooting for him and not for me, but fuck it hurts. I've never felt so alone, I live with my parents, all of my siblings have moved out and my parents are pretty social so I'll often return to an empty house and it's awful.
I've been doing okay, keeping myself busy and all that but today on facebook I saw my ex with the group of friends at a dress up party having fun, they're out, it's Friday night and I'm at home alone crying. I feel so pathetic and hated upon.
I can't delete them off facebook either because one of the people in the group of friends is someone I work with so she would notice and mention it to me at work. I'm trying to find another job so I can do that and break contact with everyone, but I don't know whether that's going to happen.
Please tell me you've been in the same situation and now you're okay, I feel so depressed and paranoid and lonely. | Lost boyfriend and our group of friends to him, feel very alone and very sad. Experience/advice would be greatly appreciated |
t3_lldkb | AskReddit | What's the most fucked up part from a childhood video game, TV show, or movie? | When I was about 9 or 10, I had a copy of Pokemon Blue that I absolutely loved. I played it obsessively for a while, and I'd soon captured every legendary and conquered the Elite 4. Pokemon was a hot topic around my school, and I heard some friends who were also into the game talking about the Missingno glitch. Apparently, if you encountered this glitch Pokemon, it'd change the quantity of your sixth item to infinity. Of course, this prospect was exciting to me, so I swapped my sixth item with a rare candy to get all my Pokemon to 99.
I tried the glitch, and it worked perfectly. I leveled all of my 'mons up to the max, and went to fight the Elite 4 again. Sure enough, I creamed them. The next area I went to upon beating them was my PC in one of the Pokecenters. I checked my hall of fame to see who I had in there. As I continued to go through the list of Pokemon, some strange things started happening. For one, Pokemon that weren't even in my parties began appearing. Their cries were fucked up beyond belief, and it sounding like the Gameboy's soundcard was malfunctioning every time I heard one. The stats were beginning to get replaced by random tiles from around the game world.
The thing that really fucked me up was the music, though. About 10 Pokemon in, the music changed to this strange, almost whisper-y tone that I'd never heard before. When I closed the Hall of Fame, it kept playing. Eventually, it began screwing with my mind so much that I just decided, "Fuck it," and I turned the thing off. I've never picked up Pokemon Blue since. | Did Missingno glitch, Hall of Fame became fucking haunted-glitchy. |
t3_11o8jq | AskReddit | I was almost charged for animal cruelty. What is the most ridiculous or inexplicable "crime" you have been, or almost been convicted of? | The story behind this:
I was attending a small community college that was on a bad side of town and surrounded by a lot of homes. Right next to where I normally parked was a house with about 5 chained up pit bulls. While I was finishing up my morning class, I decided to drive home for a quick nap and come back for my afternoon classes. As I was walking to my car, I see a huge crowd and a few police officers standing around a car. To my luck, it was MY car. Some how, one of the dogs from the house had broken off half its chain and wrapped the chain around my tire about four times. The poor dog was screaming out of fright and the chain was cutting into it's neck. After the campus cops asked me a few questions, they told me I was probably going to be charged for "using a dog as an alarm system (cruelty), starving a pet, not having proper pet identification, and not properly taking care of it". It was almost impossible to explain that it wasn't my dog and that I had no idea how it got chained up to my car. I had to wait three hours for Animal Control to come get the dog. Once they arrived, they recognized the dog and explained to the cops that if it had been my dog, it wouldn't have acted so defensively towards me. If it weren't for the Animal Control, I probably would have been charged for the crime and been fired from my job, seeing as how it involved me taking care of animals. | I was almost charged for animal cruelty for a dog somehow chaining itself to my car. Animal Control saved my ass. |
t3_1j08g5 | relationships | [Update]I[29M] need outside perspective on whether my gf[29F] relationship with ex is appropriate | Thought I'd post as update for anyone going through similar situations that would stumble across the original.
Initial post:
Since that post, I hadn't brought anything up to her again after our initial conversation. I also made the conscious decision to never look at her messages or anything like that ever again. I said I trust her, so I have to treat her that way.
Well, a couple weeks later she brings her ex up on her own talking about how he's been contacting her a lot more than usual. Also, she told me that the night after I brought it up with her he happened to call her late at night and left a voicemail screaming about how he misses her and demanding she say the same. Needless to say, she stated it was inappropriate and how she hadn't responded to any messages since our talk (even offered up her phone to look, I declined). Then a week later she told me she blocked him on facebook.
All in all, I'm so glad I backed off my initial desire to flip out on her and took some time to cool off. The responses here really helped give me another perspective. By deciding to trust her and let it go, she ended up working it all out on her own and it really says a lot about her commitment to our relationship. I could of ruined a great thing by letting insecurities get the best of me.
As it stands now, I told her to bring me into the situation if he escalates his craziness and aggression to threats or anything close. At that point I'll contact him directly to make it clear it needs to stop, she feels comfortable just ignoring him and handling it on her own for now. | Decided to cool off and trust her completely, vowed to myself to never snoop again. Turns out relationship with ex turned inappropriate on his end so she cut off all communication on her own. Glad I didn't let insecurities ruin an amazing relationship. |
t3_26imi4 | needadvice | Advice for constant depression? | I've been dealing with mild depression for about four years now and about a year ago I started cutting, I stopped briefly and then started again.
I cut because I think that I deserve it and if something bad happens I blame it on the fact that I haven't cut myself.
Over the past couple of months, I've emotionally and physically drained but it often happens in waves.
I'm not really sure what to do, I feel like a really big failure and at times, I just want it all to end. I know I probably sound like a big of a drama queen but I just needed to vent. If anyone has any tips, tricks or advice to help me, please comment. | Really depressed, need advice. |
t3_11qbnl | AskReddit | What lie was backfired on you the most? | So about a year ago I was with a group of guys and some beautiful women from my high school. All the guys were bragging about their sexcapades and whatnot so finally when called on I, not wanting to be the only loser thats still a virgin, looked around the group, decided that all the girls were out of my league and then proceeded to make up the most off the wall story anyone has ever heard of.
Somehow the people of my group were foolish enough to believe the story and then we talked about it for a week or so and then eventually it was never mentioned again, I thought I was in the clear and moved on with my life
Fastforward a year and I'm now dating one of these beautiful women that previously was thought to be out of my league and she refuses to have sex with me because of the story I told about my wild sex life. Saying "I want to lose my virginity with another virgin" while I AM A VIRGIN | I lied about a sex story and can't have actual sex because of it |
t3_2hwdon | relationships | 5 year relationship ended. I feel like my life is in shambles... | I first met my girlfriend when we were in HS. She was a freshmen, I was a sophomore. We're now both 20 and she just broke it off with me a few days ago. I have no idea how to cope.
This is what happened:
-I left to work one day and allowed her over my house while I was gone. Curiosity got the best of her and she started IMing someone's cell phone number off of AIM (Yes I still use AIM. I've had it since I was 13. This specific cell phone number was acquired when I was 13/14).
-She (my girlfriend) poses as me and flirts with this random person. Random person responds back positively. Girlfriend gets very upset and sends me screenshots of the conversation.
-At this point, I believe my girlfriend just flirted with someone and got mad at me for it. I asked her to leave my house.
-I came back home from work and she was gone. Later, over IM, she dumped me over this and a combination of other issues.
-I offered to drive to her house, pick her up, and take her to my house while we talk it over. She agreed. Drove 45 min to her house, 45 back to mine.
-All is good. We have make up sex.
-The moment we're done, she freaks out and askes me to take her home. I do.
-On the way there, she tells me we are no longer together and that is her final decision.
-I remain silent and drop her off.
-The next day, I get a whole bunch of apology texts. I was asleep while she sent them and I figured that if she actually wanted to work something out, she'd come over instead of texting.
-She never came over. 3 days later (last night), I called her and she told me we're completely through. 100% done. Just to "drop it".
I'm completely devastated. I just lost a girl I grew up with. She was my best friend and my girlfriend.
I don't know what to do at this point. I still want a relationship with her. | Girlfriend dumps me |
t3_2m5s4e | tifu | TIFU by fixing my iphone. | So last year my friend gave me his old iphone 4s as i still had a 3gs for the fourth year. Cut to the summer and my battery was draining quickly, so i downloaded battery life to view and it only had less then 3% maximum capacity. I went on using the phone by using an rechargeable case which still let it run most of the day. But i would get furious when it died and took anywhere from 2-14 hours to turn on.(no joke) So i bought a new battery and replaced it which isn't that hard and i have replaced the screen and other parts on friends phones. Well a few weeks later as im about to plug my phone to back it up since the last time i had was in june which is 3 months earlier the phone randomly shuts off. "I went o maybe the battery got disconnected." and instead of backing it up then checking i stupidly pulled the back off the phone at midnight. Well lo and behold the battery connector had broken off the mother board leaving me with no working phone. So i tried to set an alarm for 5 am as i had to be up and help move in the freshman and run orientation for school. Well my laptop decided to hibernate and not have the alarm go off. I woke up and immediately rushed down to where i had to be and it is now 930. I had people yelling at me for a while for being late and now had no phone. So curiosity and acting before thinking caused me to lose all the data from the last three months which included at least 25 contacts, over 200 photos/videos and all the important details within my texts and calendar. | I replaced the battery on an old iphone which had a loose connector, which lead to it breaking the phone and me losing a lot of important data and waking up 4 hours late for orientation. |
t3_2x9j62 | relationships | Meeting my [27F] ex's [27M] new girlfriend [23?F] | Me and my ex dated for 3 years, and broke up a year ago. We lived together, and it was serious, but we broke up because we have fundamental incompatibility issues. The breakup was amicable and we are still friendly, occasionally messaging. I started dating someone a few months ago and we are much more compatible. My ex knows my new boyfriend through friends of friends. They have met once, accidentally, and it was all fine and friendly.
My ex has a new girlfriend, and I'm genuinely happy for him. My boyfriend and I are going to an event hosted by my friends, and I know my ex will be there as he is friends with some of them. It will be small enough that we will definitely bump into each other. I'm fairly sure his girlfriend will be there too; she is not part of this friendship group at all. What I'm wondering is how to behave to her. I have no idea if she knows I'm the long term ex, and no idea how she feels. I don't know whether to just say hi and then disappear, or try to be friendly, introduce my boyfriend and show I'm not a threat... Basically I want to make this girl feel comfortable and welcome. She's coming to a party with loads of my friends and from being with my boyfriend and his friends (who are friends with his ex) I know how hard it is. What would you recommend I can do (if anything) to help her feel more at ease? | Ex's new girlfriend is probably coming to a party hosted by my friends, what can I do to make her feel welcome? |
t3_t0s09 | tifu | TIFU: I killed a rabbit with poor marksmanship. | My uncle out in Fayetteville, Arkansas invited me to go deer hunting with him pretty soon and so today I thought I would mentally prepare myself, having never killed an animal intentionally before. I loaded up with my holster and CO2 powered BB pistol, and took to the neighborhood bike path to hunt some game. I saw a rabbit maybe 20-25 yards away, and blasted in its direction.
The initial shot went wide because of the hop, but the rabbit only made a small move towards the wall of brush that was its' escape. I adjusted for the hop and shot again. This time it leapt up into the air and kinda stumbled into the brush. I approached cautiously, not knowing if any of his friends might be around. I came upon the poor guy writhing on the edge of the brush.
I didn't want to get too close cause I felt bad, and he kept looking me in the eye making me feel worse. I probably capped him three or four more times with him still being alive before I worked up the testicular fortitude to go and put two in his head. | Today I fucked up by killing an innocent rabbit, not in an efficient manner. |
t3_3s2t9c | relationship_advice | Me (21M) with my girlfriend (21F) - LDR for 3.5 years, we've never fought before | Some background first: I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 1/2 years. We started dating right before we both left for university about 7 hours apart. Although long distance hasn't been much fun, we do our best to see each other as much as we can during the summer and winter breaks. The relationship is great, minus the distance -- I feel like I love her more and more every day, I've never felt so connected to someone else in my life. Someday down the road, I think I'd like to ask her to marry me.
Here's the thing: it almost seems *too* perfect sometimes, you know? We have never had a fight, not even a small one, and I can't help but worry about it sometimes. Hopefully, we'll be able to move in together in about a year, and I just wonder if suddenly everything will be different. I mean, it will be, obviously, but what if we're not as good at living together as we are at living apart?
So basically, I'd just like to hear from others who've been in peaceful relationships and/or long-term LDRs and how those turned out when the distance dropped to zero. | Never had a fight with long distance girlfriend, wondering if that means anything worrisome. Also wondering about the transition from being long distance to finally moving in together. |
t3_1aa07g | Advice | I was roused from my sleep yesterday by an (unintentional) intruder. Did I react appropriately? | It's been a while since my fight or flight response has been triggered. At about 9AM yesterday (I had just gone to bed) some workers entered my home (WITH A KEY) while I was asleep. They didn't call ahead, nor did they knock. As soon as I heard the door open, I bolted out of bed, fists balled, ready to give somebody the beatdown of a lifetime. If I hadn't seen his toolbox, I may have killed the poor man.
He claimed he wanted to repair the vinyl floors in my apartment, which made absolutely no sense considering my floors were new when I moved in less than half a year ago.
I ushered him out of my house and he made a phone call to the apartment offices, and it turns out they had the wrong house. (There's apparently another building with my number in the neighborhood,) but holy dog balls batman, how the hell do you have the key to my house if you're not even supposed to be there? What the hell, how do you fuck up this badly?
I called the office and calmly explained the situation to them, but I got a weak apology at best. She did that fake uninterested laugh and tried her best to weasel her way off the phone with me. It's my opinion that what happened yesterday morning was totally NOT cool. Am I justified in being upset?
Would you have reacted the same way? Should I do something about this? Should I seek compensation of some sort? | A worker uses a key he shouldn't have had to get into my house while I'm asleep, to perform a repair I didn't order. He didn't bother to even check that he had the right apartment. What should I do? |
t3_4c61rw | relationships | My best friends [19M and 21M] pay for my [19F] food/groceries/etc often and I always feel bad about it | "Austin" and "Mark" are my absolute best friends in the world. They are a couple and started dating last year and have been inseparable ever since. I've done my best to be with both of them through difficult times (such as Mark's family trying to alienate him for being gay, Austin having trouble getting his parents to pay for school also for being gay). We spend a huge amount of time together and are extremely close. We also all work together at the same job, so when we're not hanging out, we're usually at work.
Problem is, they always buy things for me! They're always picking up my tab when we go to restaurants, go out for ice cream, or even if we all go to the store and I need to pick up a few minor items. I feel majorly bad every time they pay for me. I never ask (I have my own money, but I spend scarcely because my family has been falling on hard times recently due to my parents being ill) and I always offer to pay for my own food—and once or twice, I've managed to buy things for them in return. But overwhelmingly, they insist on paying and flatly refuse my money or offers to pay them back. They say it's because they love me and don't want me to worry about paying for things because of my family situation.
I still do feel bad, though. Any advice? Or ideas on something I could do for them in return? | best friends always purchasing things for me and I feel guilty about it. |
t3_40yiva | relationships | Are me [22 F] and my boyfriend [25 M] 2 years, going through rough patch or is it the end? | Hi all,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and until about 6 months ago, I thought he was the man I could spend the rest of my life with. We live together, have a dog together, and have plans to move across the country together when I graduate college in 5 months.
About 6 months ago, he was put out of work due to a back injury. He's a chef, so he can't reasonably work since it's so physical. He did physical therapy for about a month before he said it wasn't working. Most days, he stays at home and smokes weed all day while I go to school. (His dependency on weed is a whole other issue in itself...)
I understand the extreme vulnerability of his physical and mental state, but I feel like it's ruining our relationship. I try to be a constant supporter, cleaning, cooking, daily back rubs, general patience, all while balancing senior year of college...But I feel like he doesn't recognize how hard this injury is on me, too. He's not grateful and never thanks me. In fact, I feel like I'm expected to just "let him be" during all of this.
He's become increasingly cold and distant. He hardly ever shows physical affection anymore, and really all sweetness is absent from our relationship. We haven't even faced each other during sex in months. He still tells me he loves me and will reciprocate when I initiate affection. When I ask him about this distance, he chalks it up to his back problems. Maybe I'm just a horrible person, but is something like this really an excuse to shirk even the most minimal duties of a relationship?
I'm really on the brink. I love him, but I feel like everything going on is making me fall out of love with him. We have fought about these things, big and small, time and again, with little resolution. After every fight, we end with me being the "bad guy" and not giving him space to heal. Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me from walking away is how incredibly complicated it would be to untangle our life together. | My long-term, live-in boyfriend has a back injury that has caused him to retreat from the joy of our relationship almost completely. So, I ask, is something like this merely a rough patch that requires waiting out? Am I being too hard on him and if so how can I help him better cope? Or is this all evidence that this relationship is tired out and I should move on? |
t3_2gha1v | relationships | Me [21/F] with my live in boyfriend [20/M] for six months. How do I leave? | We've turned into that couple that never actually breaks up. He's an asshole but I'm in love with him and I hate myself for that.
I'm a college student. He's a drug dealer. I used to get straight As but I don't really go to classes anymore. The only good times we have together are when we're on something.
I broke up with him a month ago but he promised he'd change so I took him back. I broke up with him two weeks ago but he promised he'd change so I took him back.
I want to move out. I don't want him anymore but whenever he's in the same room I just want to fuck him. He's really attractive. It's legitimately becoming a problem because when he gets sad his eyes get big and he looks innocent and all I can think about are the things I love about him.
He says he loves me and I know he means it but he's a drug dealer and he won't fight his depression and he's bringing me down.
We've been together on and off for a year. We play house. We're the perfect couple when we're not fighting.
I'm in the back of class searching craigslist for room shares. He just texted me that he loves me and I almost started crying because he doesn't know I'm leaving. | How do you do it? How do you leave them when you love them? |
t3_1brnae | relationships | Is the F26 overly sensitive or is the M30 emotionally abusive | I've been with this guy a little over a year. He calls me names like coyote ugly, paper bag princess, bitch,etc. says I don't get his humor. He goes on about my female friends and their bodies. My confidence is shot, I feel ugly and worthless. He makes fun of me, my body. Most of my friends won't speak to me because of him. He has caused me to isolate from a lot of people. When sad he calls me a pouter. He also lies a lot he told me he was cleaning up his act from an addiction, he is not. Am I too sensitive or is he abusive? | boyfriend calls me names, goes on about my female friends bodies, calls me a pouter when I'm sad, i have become isolated from friends. He also lies about cleaning up his act. I too sensitive or is he abusive? |
t3_tutq9 | AskReddit | Anal Sex - The Gay Debate(Could be NSFW) | I recently had a conversation with my girlfriend about homosexuality. I have no problem with homosexuality at all and my girlfriend is a huge proponent for them so I play devils advocate when she brings up anything political. Recently my girlfriend and I debated anal sex and she said she wouldn't do it because its unnatural. So I counted(being a guy) and asked her why is it not unnatural for two men to have anal sex then? She countered with it just is. So I want to hear the best argument for why it is. Please keep responses to biological ones, no leviticus please... | why is anal unnatural between man and woman but not between two men??? |
t3_3c034v | tifu | TIFU by not knowing what Cruise Control was | Obligatory "this didn't happen today." But, it did happen yesterday; I just happened to be too pissed off to share it. Anyways, I went to the White Sands National Monument yesterday and the story happened on the way back. I was trying to sleep while we were driving and my sister decided it would be funny to mess with my head.
She woke me up and said, "[4EverUnknown] look." She was pointing downwards to the pedals of the car. I looked down and was horrified to see that my Grandfather's feet were not on any of the pedals. I looked up and saw us still moving forward at a fast pace. I kept gasping and my brain was freaking out trying to understand what was going on. I started panicking and kept mumbling nonsense. All the while my sister was laughing. I started becoming hysterical and started crying while panic-laughing. When I finally calmed down enough to talk correctly, I simply uttered one question, "How?" My sister replied with, "Cruise Control." Confused, I asked what it was. She then explained. As you can imagine, I was **PISSED OFF**.
I later asked her why she didn't tell me earlier, and she said, "I thought it was just really good acting." Well, thanks [Jerkass] Don't worry though, I'll find a way to get back at her. I had the last laugh anyway; she still owes me $5. | My sister is an asshole. |
t3_13rdhi | AskReddit | Hacked by some one using TOR, what can I do? | Last year, I moved in with my boyfriend which caused a massive hysteria with my family. There was abusive emails (which were all saved into a folder for storage).
ALL of my accounts where hacked last night: Facebook pass words changed and all of my profile information, which according to facebook is all my photos, messages and wall posts, as well as my email passwords.
However, once I gained my email back, I found out that they had left their email behind them, which lead to a facebook account (unsure whether it's real or not). Funny thing is, my messages that were saved in a folder, have been deleted and are unable to be resorted. We also followed the IP addresses that they was using and it turns out he did it through TOR.
Now, the email we have leads to a facebook and a bebo (I believe). All my passwords have been changed to something random that only I can know (although they already were in the first place).
The only link between this person and I, is the fact that he POSSIBLY went to school with an old friend who is currently living with my family. | Some one's tried to hack me using TOR. I've traced who it was (whether its a real account, I don't know), but if I go to the police, will they be any help? They have EVERYTHING off my profile page (inc messages + photos) but theres no IP. |
t3_yi63i | relationship_advice | (27 M) I dont know what to do with my fellings about her (23 F) | I don't know were to begin, I met her in a friend party like a month ago, we really hit that night, and we went out two nights after in a date, everything was fine, that night in our first date she told me she have a kid from her previous failed marriage, she married her highschool sweet heart after the graduation, but he cheated and left like a year ago, that's fine for me, i don't have any trouble with that.
the last weekend, she told me about her job, she is a scort, a high class prostitute in the city where we live, and she is two month pregnant from a previous boyfriend, and i don't know what to do, i could leave her, but i like her, i like her a lot, and I'm afraid she is using me or something like.
So reddit, what i'm gonna do with her, I want to have a relation with this girl but everything looks like against me, so i just leave her and keep searching for another or follow my heart with this one? | I like this girl who have a son, is a High class Prostitute and pregnant from a previous boyfriend, and i don't know what to do |
t3_3cojld | relationship_advice | Could this ever possibly work? [36M] + [23F] | We kind of randomly met online over a year ago, she's several states away, both of us were in dark places in our lives and looking for a friend to chat with. Come to find out we're both getting divorces. She has a religious family who pressured her into getting married young. Her family is pretty much going to disown her once the divorce is final. I've just been stuck in misery forever, had had enough and am in the process. We've talked just about every day, we've told each other just about every intimate detail of our lives. We have a lot of the same interests and tastes, enjoy each other's sense of humor. At this point, I'd even consider her my best friend.
Recently we both expressed that we have strong feelings for one another. I have 2 young kids, joint custody. She isn't interested in having kids, I don't want any more kids. She's a nanny though and is great with kids and is good with the idea of me having kids. She plans to come out and visit me soon to see how things go and would move out here when she can get out of a lease.
So....could this possibly be real, or is it just that we found one another during a rough period and are kind of rebounding? I don't know. Logistically it feels like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, but I really do have strong feelings for her and her feelings for me seem genuine as well. | started a long distance relationship with someone several hours away and much younger. We both have strong feelings for one another, I'm just wondering if it's more of a rebound situation for both of us or could it be real? Could that dynamic ever work if we got together? |
t3_22u4h7 | relationships | Need help regarding homesickness in my boyfriend | I hope this is the correct sub to post in. It isn't putting a huge strain on my relationship, but it is bringing my boyfriend down and I'd like to give him a hand!
So my partner and I have been dating roughly 2.5 years (me - 22F and him, 21M). I met him while I was in college and at the very beginning of our friendship/relationship, I told him that I was not going to be staying in the state I went to school in. I am not from that state and I don't enjoy the weather associated with it so I wanted to move on. I made this clear again when we started getting more seriously into the relationship. He was fine with the whole idea.
A few months before I graduated from college, I started making plans on where to move. He, too, was excited to get out and we settled on Seattle. Now we are here, we both found jobs, we have pets, a fun place to live and are still totally in love with each other. The only problem is that he is MEGA homesick. I don't think he'd go as far as to move back home, but it brings him down quite a bit.
I'm looking for advice because I don't know how to handle homesickness. I grew up in a military family so I have lived about half the states in the US and a few other countries. I am very used to packing up my things and booking it without getting emotional. My boyfriend, on the other hand, had never been outside his state before he met me. His family and friends all live in the same town and he's not used to being away from them.
Is homesickness something people get used to over time? I was thinking about throwing a party and inviting all of our friends here over for some Cleveland brews and decking the apartment out in Cleveland stuff, but I don't know if that would make him miss home more. Plus, that would only temporarily make him feel better. I want him to be happy here, but I have no clue where to start. | Partner from a small town moved across the country with me and is brought down a lot by missing home. I want to help him feel better, but don't know how. |
t3_30m53r | relationships | I'm [23M] worried that I'm possibly too judgmental and busy to date | (I [posted previously] with a mostly unrelated issue - link included in case it provides useful context.)
So, I have relatively little relationship experience. Before posting here for some advice about a month ago, I had none. I followed some of the advice I was given, signed up to a dating site and got one date from some very light use, although it didn't go all that well. So basically a complete dating novice and very much a late bloomer.
One issue I'm having with online dating is that I'm finding it very difficult to actually find profiles I like. There are a whole bunch of things that I've got in my mind as dealbreakers which seem to be incredibly common, such as pets and tattoos (there are more, but those are some of the more common ones I'm coming across). The thing is that they're often people who I think I'd probably get along with well if it weren't for those factors. I'm worried that I'm possibly being far too judgmental, but at the same time I'm finding it very difficult to get over the fact that in my mind these things are a big deal. Am I just setting myself up for failure here and, if so, is there anything I can do about it?
The second problem I'm having is about time. I recently started a new job, which has very long, unpredictable hours. I'm OK with working those hours, but it means that I can never make plans midweek (since I can end up staying in the office overnight on next to no notice) and on the weekends I'm too tired to really do anything. This is obviously really unconducive to actually going on dates, and I've also been finding that I'm too busy to even keep up with messaging people since I don't really get to have a break during the day except for lunch. I don't want to leave my job - it's my dream job and pays very well - but at the same time I'm concerned that I'm too busy to be able to realistically go on dates and possibly too busy to maintain a relationship properly. So yeah, how do busy people actually find the time to date? | I'm a dating novice finding it very difficult to get past common features that I think are dealbreakers, and even if I could my job means that I'm not sure I have enough time to devote to getting into and maintaining a relationship. |
t3_r87ch | AskReddit | Reddit, is it wrong to leave a freelance job I started yesterday? | I'm a freelance Key Grip/Grip in the film industry.
Story: About two weeks ago I got a call from this Gaffer to Key a low-budget feature. I pretty much immediately said yes because this Gaffer is a guy who I want to work with since he gets much bigger jobs that come his way, even though my day rate for this job was $150 for a 12/hr day (which is extremely low for a Key Grip).
Come yesterday during the checkout, said Gaffer calls me that he's replacing himself for today, and then it turns into that he replaced himself for the whole job. Leaving me with nothing to look forward to on this potentially crappy job.
I would stick with it because work is work, but the Union for my craft which I applied to has been calling me daily for work in the city. And the amount of money and experience I can get from that is worth way more than this low-budg indie feature. The amount of money I would make on this indie feature I can make in 2-3 days doing union work, plus I get my hours in and I dont have to deal with independent bullshit.
So yeah, I'm really tempted to just come up with the old "family emergency" excuse and leave the gig so I can do the work that will ultimately define my career. Is this wrong? Or should I tough it out and protect my ego and reputation even though I might not be happy? | Started a freelance indie job yesterday which I'm not really interested in. And the union has been calling me daily with bigger and better work. Should I stick with the indie job or leave for the union work? |
t3_2awyno | tifu | TIFU by sitting on my boyfriends face.. | So my boyfriend comes home from work and he's feeling a little frisky.. so we start fooling around, you know, the usual, and we wanted to try a different position and try something new, so he told me to sit on his face and I obliged. It was so amazing and new and it felt so fucking good, but as I started to climax I tried really hard to hold everything in but my body wouldn't let me and it all came out like a flood.. which then proceeded to get in his nose and mouth and not in a good way.. I basically almost drowned him in my juice. He's completely fine but we decided that's a position we wont try again.. | I sat on my boyfriends face and almost drowned him in my juice. |
t3_3yg3u5 | tifu | TIFU by showing a restaurant server my vibrator | This fuck up happened today, maybe 15 minutes ago.
I (F) went for a post holiday booty call with a FWB. At the his request, I brought a favorite vibrator.
In my day-to-day life I take public transportation regularly, so I always have a big purse--one big enough to hold my stuff plus shoes plus a lunch. This being the holidays, the purse is pretty empty.
So, I go kinda get mines (wtf dude didn't seem interested in vibrator. Not a timely hook up as his mother was going into surgery later today?). On the way home from his place I decide I'm hungry and stop by my local pizza place to eat and read my library book. (Hey! I've got a lot of room in my purse, why not bring a library book.)
I order and pay at the counter, no problem. When the server brings me utensils and water I look down. My purse is on the chair next to me, gaping wide open, and the bright toy is so very visible. Dude doesn't say anything or laugh...however I have three or four other servers come and check on me. It's not that kind of place. :( | I'm going to learn portion control in 2016, shop for a new purse, and find a new pizza place. |
t3_fiiqa | travel | How bad of an idea is it to walk alone in Albany, NY, past midnight? | Hello Reddit,
I never thought I would ever feel the need to post something here, but today proved me wrong. I need your advice!!!
I'm a 26-year-old French-Canadian from Montreal and I'm planning on going to a concert in Albany, NY, next week. Whilst quickly searching for the Greyhound bus terminal's address in Albany, I found this on Wikitravel : *Greyhound Bus Lines, 34 Hamilton St, +1 518 434-8461, [3]. The station is downtown, near the waterfront. The area around the station can be seen as seedy so using a taxi or a friend to get to your hotel (if it is not near a bus line) may be a safe bet.*
The music venue is about 2 miles from the bus station. I was thinking I would gladly walk the distance, when I came across this, on another website : "*The question we're asking — How safe do you feel on Albany's streets? / I feel safe on the streets of Albany between the hours of 9 A.M. and 1 P.M. and only when accompanied by two or more friends, preferably one being armed.*"
The question I am now asking you, Reddit, is : how stupid of me would it be to actually walk those 2 miles from the bus station to the venue? What are the streets I should really avoid? My bus will arrive around 3 P.M., and I'll have to take the 3 A.M. bus back to Montreal, since I have to be at work the day after. Is the bus terminal a safe place to be between 1 A.M. and 3 A.M.?
Thanks! | I'll be travelling alone (26,f, basically French-Canadian, without the funny accent, though) to Albany, NY, to attend a concert. I'll be there from 3 P.M. to 3 A.M.. Is it safe to walk down the streets alone? Are there any places or streets I should definitely be avoiding? |
t3_3lvjph | relationships | I[20f] don't know how to handle this situation. | I'll try to make this short and too the point as possible.
I had recently moved out of state with my bf [21m] Calvin, to our new home on September 1st. Before our move my father asked if him and his cousin and 2 other family members can come up late September to stay the night for an event they had to go to the next morning. I told him instantly, yes.
A few weeks later, I found out it was not my uncles who I assumed would be accompanying my dad , but his cousin's two brothers who I never met before.
My boyfriend does not like this one bit. He is an introvert, shy, anxious, and understandably does not want people sleeping over our house who neither of us know.
My dad called earlier today to confirm that he will be staying at the end of this week. I dont know whether I should tell him to tell these two family members that they are no longer allowed to stay and would have to find a hotel somewhere?
The two other guests are coming from by plane and will have to get a hotel will be no where near his brother (who they havent seen for months since he moved out of state as well) or my father.
I have school till 3:30 pm so they would have to come after I get home and would be leaving early the next day.
I hate to put my boyfriend through any distress, this is his home too. But I feel terrible letting anyone down. I know I was wrong in this situation, but I dont know what I should do to make it right. Any advice? | About two months ago my dad asked if him and a few family members can stay one night in my new house. I said yes instantly without asking my boyfriend. Found out these family members arent ones I have met before. Boyfriend is uncomfortable, what should I do? Thank you. |
t3_419qp1 | relationships | I [40F] was raised in chaos and abuse. Now that my life is calm, I've turned to abusing myself. Advice? | Hi Reddit, long time lurker, first time poster.
Background: I was raised pretty badly. Lots of abuse, violence, alcohol and drug use. Left home for a failure of a first marriage, which after a lot of trauma and chronic unemployment, ended in my early 30's. I have been in second, stable marriage for many years and we are raising our kids together. People generally like me, find me compassionate and helpful.
My issue is that I simply cannot seem to accept that life is good. Wonderful husband, great kids, good job, enough money, enough food. I am exactly where I never thought I could ever be, and it's just SO hard!
I don't know how to be calm. I always had to fight my way through, there was always accidents, emergencies, and drama. As you can imagine, I am fantastic in a crisis. When there's no crisis, though, there's no me, and I need to work something up.
The past five years have been a self-abuse circus. Disordered eating, smoked like a chimney, picked up a codeine habit, now I'm drinking. It's never about the substance, it's about me, I've gotten that far with it. And that's where I hit the brick wall.
How do I stop trying to find relevance in being the master of disaster? My husband went through something similar a couple of years back, and did find his center, and he's great now. Patient and understanding, of course, but that really only goes so far and I'm starting to dance on his last nerve. Mine too, to be honest, I'm not happy being this way.
Advice, Reddit? I'm looking for a counsellor through my EAP at work, but until then, if anyone has anything to share, I'd love to hear it. | My childhood abuse made me a fighter, but once I stopped having to fight for safety, I turned against myself and it's starting to worry my family. |
t3_1e10td | relationships | Boyfriend (M25) doesn't want me (F25) to visit him in the hospital because he said, "It's embarrassing." | Hi.
My boyfriend (M25) of eight months is going to be in the hospital for the next few days because of a surgery he just had and he has asked me (F25) not to visit him. I asked why and he said, "Because it's embarrassing."
What's embarrassing about having your girlfriend visit you in the hospital? I've met his family, they like me and I like them so that can't be the reason. I'm sure his mother will be at the hospital.
So I'm kind of upset. He said that I can stop by to see him at home when he leaves in a few days but that's not good enough.
His female friend is allowed to visit him in the hospital but his own girlfriend isn't? Is he doing this because he thinks it's "unmanly" to be vulnerable? I just feel hurt.
Advice? | I'm hurt that my boyfriend doesn't want me to go see him after surgery but he's allowing a female friend of his to. |
t3_1m13o8 | relationships | Me[37M] interested in [35F] known each other 3 years, how to flag interest? | I'm noticing a growing attraction to a friend who I've only seen occasionally over the last few years. We reconnected recently and I felt kind of bowled over by how strongly I was drawn to her. I guess... I want to let her know I'm interested, but I don't want to put her on the spot or force things if she's not likely to reciprocate. So, how do I do that? I suppose I'm thinking I'll just keep saying, "hey, want to hang out?" or the like and see how she responds, say nice things, and pay attention to what comes back. But... she's a real "nice girl" and I worry a bit that I'm going to get "positive feedback" that's just her being nice rather than a measure of interest. So... yeah. How do I say "I'm interested" without being so obvious about it that, if she isn't, it puts her on the spot? | Tell me what signals to send to girl I like. |
t3_4sqerw | relationships | Me [26m] with my girlfriend [25f] of 3 years, thinking about proposing but want to keep finances separate? | I'm thinking about proposing, but want to keep our finances separate for two reasons.
1. My girlfriend and I met in college. We both studied chemical engineering and now work at the same company. I make a lot more than her, and she doesn't realize how much more (she might think $20K more but it's more like $120k more). I don't want to make her jealous.
2. I withdraw a lot of cash on a weekly basis and don't want her to know what I'm spending it on (nothing illegal)
How difficult is it for a married couple to keep their finances separate? I mean, when we look to get a house, i can just apply for the mortgage without her assets/income and we'll still get approved. | How difficult is it for a married couple to keep their finances separate? |
t3_4tfh40 | relationships | I [21M] just had to courage to ask out my best friend and co-worker [20F], it didn't go how I wanted, but I think I'm okay with how it went. | A little while ago I ended a long term relationship of eight years, where the last four of it were long distance because of things going on in our lives, it was really hard. I'm getting past that, and I just had the courage to ask out someone who I'd basically consider my best friend, who is also a co-worker. She's about to go back to college til the end of the year, and I didn't want to try to start another long distance relationship, so I brought up going out when she comes back
I didn't get the response I was hoping for, she said that she didn't want to tell anyone, but she's been dating someone in college for a couple of months now, and didn't feel appropriate answering my question.
It wasn't a no, and she seemed to try to be really gentle about it, and we're still good friends, so yeah. I just needed to kinda tell someone, because I'm not going to bring this up to anyone at work or anywhere else. I think I'm really starting to do better. I don't plan on asking her out again, or waiting for her to be single or anything weird like that, but if she asks me some time down the road, I could see things working out really well.
Thanks for reading. | Went through a hard breakup, asked out my best friend, she's awesome, but we're staying friends and aren't going to let me asking her throw off our friendship. And I had the courage to ask my boss for a raise today and got it, so overall my day is going pretty good. |
t3_1w1xht | relationship_advice | I[22f] put a guy friend[23m] in the friendzone and now I want to yank him back out. | I met this guy, A, about a year ago through a common interest. At the time, I had a boyfriend of 4-ish months; I'll call him B. We are all 22-23 years old.
B is very laid back and not the jealous type, so he had no problem with me hanging out alone with A. A knew that I was in a relationship and would ask me every time we hung out, "do you still have a boyfriend?", which I always answered honestly. I will also admit that I have always been very attracted to A. He would frequently try to cuddle with me or try to kiss me when we hung out, but I always stopped him and did not allow myself to cross any major boundaries with B. I knew that I was playing with fire, but I also really enjoyed my conversations with A.
I told B about the attempted kiss, and he was remarkably unfazed. He didn't ask me to stop hanging out with A or even react at all, but that's typical of him. I reduced contact with A and we fell out of touch. Eventually, B and I separately realized that we don't have much in common and were both feeling lukewarm about the relationship, so we amicably broke up.
About a week ago, A added me as a friend on LinkedIn and we started talking again. We hung out at my place earlier this week. He seemed a little more standoffish than before, and neither of us mentioned B. I don't think A knows that we broke up. Should I tell him? Now that I'm single, is it too late to see where things could go with A? Am I a terrible person for even entertaining the thought? | I have feelings for a guy that I friendzoned because I had a boyfriend. Now that I'm single, is it wrong to wonder if I still have a chance? |
t3_1ebc83 | relationships | Boyfriend [20M] acting cold towards me [19F] | Hey Reddit so here's the deal, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months and lately I've been noticing that he's been acting a bit distant. Our relationship is really awesome and we never fight; neither of us are clingy or jealous and whenever we hang out it's always a good time.
Whenever we hang out (1-2 times a week) he usually spends the night, but last night he said he didn't want to because he needed to get up early to skate with his friend. I don't mind him not sleeping over to go do his thing, but whenever he does spend the night, we both usually get up early for school anyways so I don't see why this time would be any different. Another thing that has been off lately is our communication. He usually texts me throughout the day to see how I'm doing, because we're both full time students and we both agreed from the start of the relationship that we didn't want to spend every waking moment with each other because we want time to do our own things. He hasn't been making much of an effort to talk to me as much (1-2 texts a day if I'm lucky) and I feel as though I'm being shut out as a way to let me down easy if he plans on breaking up with me.
I don't now if I'm being paranoid or reasonable, but I'm not one to usually address how I'm feeling, because I'd rather not be a burden to him.
Should I address this to him or just let a couple of days pass to see if maybe it's just a bad week for him? | Boyfriend acting distant, haven't given him any reason to be. |
t3_4n0119 | Advice | Can I help my friend who is spiraling down into addiction | I have an old friend who is a great guy with a big heart. When we met he was quite normal. He occasionally smoked weed at concerts and such and drank in moderation. He is always nice to everybody and has a lot of friends and used to get fair attention from girls and etc.
He has a horrible past, his father is an alcoholic who was put in jail for attempted homicide on his wife (my friends mother) with a firearm.
My friend has been to therapists because of this, I don´t know how much though.
Last year, my friend all of a sudden showed huge signs of change, started looking like a zombie and having the memory of a goldfish. Today when I met him, he opened up and confessed to using very heavy drugs. I don´t even know the names of the drugs he is snorting and whatever method he uses. But all of a sudden he is like a dictionary on drugs and knows everything about benzohydaædgawhaterz and it freaks me out.
It broke my heart and I am terrified of the future that he is seemingly starting to build for himself. This kid does not deserve this.
Can I do anything? | Innocent occasional pot smoker is turning into a junkie really, really fast. And it sucks. |
t3_3r7pxj | relationships | Me [25M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 5 months. No sex yet, feeling frustrated, how to bring up sexual future? | I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now. It's been great and I am overall very happy with it other than this current issue I am having. I should let you know while this isn't my first rodeo, but it is for her. She has never been in a relationship. She never kissed anyone before and obviously anything more. But since being together we have been affectionate with kissing, making out and she has gotten a million times better than where she was. Now I am getting to a point to where I am feeling sexually frustrated. I feel guilty feeling this way since she is so new to all of this and she has a lack of experience. I am giving her time and have been more than happy to but I feel like it's starting to affect me. She knows I am always upfront and will tell her what I am thinking and I feel as though I can talk to her about anything but this has me hesitant. I adore her so much, and I am most definitely someone who shows love and affection through physical touch and interaction.
How do I bring up asking what she feels on this front? How do I ask if she will at some point be interested, or possibly interested? I know we talk a lot about how the sexual aspect of a relationship is important and while everything else checks off fine in my current one, this could potentially be a deal breaker. I also want to avoid sounding like I am giving an ultimatum ("Give me sex or get out!") I know these things will be taken slow and require time but I feel like I have to know as in to not be wasting my time. Is this fair? Or I am just being shallow and demanding? I do feel a bit hesitant asking this, but I am not sure what to do exactly… I know I have to bring it up and talk to her about it. But I want to in the best way. Also, I should mention its at least not a religious thing, to my knowledge.
I'll answer any questions and will do my best to reply quickly too. Thank you! | 5 month relationship, inexperienced partner, How to bring up our sexual future in the best way possible? |
t3_4f8e0k | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 4 months, Why hasn't she broken up with me? | Probably the first time this title has been used lol
Anyway, i met her at Christmas and we've been talking for ages, its kind of long distance so we rarely get to meet up.
So every time we plan to meet up theres a big build up and it gets really exiting but it ends up somewhat awkward (for me anyway) because we either always watch a movie or a tv show. id rather just talk to her but she wants to watch movies with me.
A few days ago i went to her house and it was unbearable awkward, there was a big build up and we ended up just watching a tv show. when i went home i was 100% sure she was going to break up with me... but she didn't and i honestly couldn't understand why.
I really like her and i probably wont break up with her but i bet most girls would of broke up with me by this stage.
Im genuinely so confused. could anyone help me out? | Why hasn't she broke up with me |
t3_2d67rk | relationships | I [21 F] feel like my best friend [21 F] is only my friend when it's convenient for her. Like when I'm just across the hall. | I met my best friend move-in day freshman year of college. She lived in the room next door to me. We both are from the same home state and live about 20-30 minutes away from each other when at home. Eight months out of the year we are as close as you could be. We're starting our last year of school in a month and our third year of being roommates, which has been awesome. Those eight months everything is great!
The issue is when summer comes. Every year since we met it seems like she forgets I exist. I try to make plans and she says she's busy, and doesn't offer another day she's free. I get that she has friends and family and a boyfriend she wants to spend time with, but there's an entire 4 months were we barely speak and I *never* see her. She's told me multiple times how she wants me to be her maid of honor when she gets married, which will probably be soon after graduation.
I've spoke to her about this a couple times. The first thing she does is get defensive and says she needs to spend as much time as she can with her boyfriend and family because she doesn't see them during the school year. I get that she has other people in her life she only has a few months with, but she can't make time for even a lunch with me. I'm really scared we're going to lose touch after graduation and I'll barely ever see her again. And considering we don't live far apart at all, it really upsets me. I don't think she actually gets that I'm only her friend when it's convenient for her. | My best friend and I are solid during the school year, but she doesn't seem interested in hanging out when we're separated by more than a hallway. |
t3_15zrwe | relationships | Great mom (30) but terrible wife to me (32) | We've been talking together for about 3 years now. I think I'm a great father and husband. I help in every aspect related to our child. I'm super involved. Ask how her day was. I'm super-supportive and I do my share of duties around the house. Granted I don't really know how to cook (unless I'm bbqing which is one of the few rare times we eat a home-cooked meal) or clean (Although I wash ALL the dishes and do most of the laundry. ) and of course I take care of all the "man-things" eg - trash, car issues, landscaping, and various home maintenance stuff. (btw, "man-things is her term not mine). I really try to avoid confrontation with her cuz she kinda has a shitty attitude when I mention anything.
Thing is, she makes more money than I do. She covers the mortgage and car. But I pay for water, electricity, cable, health insurance for everyone, and a personal loan we took out for our down payment on the house. And unless I initiate sex on a good night, it ain't happening. I've been turned down a bunch of times by her and it sucks. I love her with all my heart but the way she is with me is emasculating. Sometimes I think back to when we were just friends and she would talk about her exes and she mentions what dicks they were. But I cant imagine her acting this way with the type of guys she's described. I wonder that maybe if I start acting like an asshole, she'll have more respect for me. A lot of women say they just want to meet a nice guy. I think that'd bullshit. r/relationships, what should I do? | I'm a super helpful and loving husband who feels its not reciprocated. Want to improve my marriage with her. |
t3_3m2s50 | relationships | My [26 F] girlfriend broke up with me [27 M], we were been together for 5 months. Everything were fine, until... | My girlfriend [26/F] for 5 months broke up with me [27/M] 3 days ago. I'm feeling lost, miserable...in hell.
We had no fights, a very good relationship. I did not see this coming and i'm lost, with my head still spinning.
She broke with me 3 days ago, reason being she wants her life before the breakup back, she thinks that she is still not ready for a serious relationship (both of us already had long relationships 5+ years). I'm still love her, a lot, more than i ever loved anyone. She was the most beautiful girl that i ever met and we got along very well...and I'm having serious doubts if I'll find someone like her, ever.
She said that, about 15 days ago, she realized that she doesn't want the relationship anymore ...she hid her feelings all these 15 days until the breakup. I'm thinking that is not fair not to give a chance to this relationship. The first time she had talked about it was when she broke up with me. She said that there is nothing wrong about me, it's her fault, her whises, that she cannot lie to herself and that she doesn't think that it will change (the old "it's not you, it's me"). These 5 months were incredible, best time of my life, no doubts, it's strange that all of this vanished in 15 days...
I'm applying the NC rule, but as everybody knows it's tough as hell to do that.
I'm pretty sure there is no infidelity involved.
Sorry about the bad english, i'm not a native speaker. | GF break, i'm totally miserable. Great time vanished in few days. Thinking that the whole situation is very strange. How can i handle this and move on? |
t3_34r0lx | relationships | Is it possible my boyfriend (42M) is *still* lying to me? Dating for a year. | I have been having internal issues with my boyfriend - things I've been trying to figure out for myself (you can see my other thread on this). When we first started dating, he lied to me about talking to some other woman at the same time, but finally came out with it when I accidentally saw a message pop up on his phone. He's also lied to me about his finances because he was embarrassed about it.
He takes his phone everywhere with him, including the washroom. But he had given me his password and it was no big deal. My SO has a tendency of lying in the past, mostly when he feels he is being cornered, and exaggerating a lot. I chalked it up to his ADHD, because I felt he would never really do much damage. A lot of little "white" lies to get out of situations.
Today he left is phone at home to charge and took mine just in case anything came up. He made such a fuss about leaving it to charge and made some excuse about needing to go into the bathroom - obviously he took it with him. He came out 10 minutes later and I was convinced he deleted anything he probably didn't want me to see.
After he left, curiosity got the best of me and I see now that he changed his password.
Should I be worried? I mean, I've caught him lying to me a few times already - from big to small things. It just doesn't sit well with me that he's not transparent with me. I'm sure it's not another girl - he spends all his time with me and he's crazy about me. But, you never know... He has always been protective over his phone, particularly after that one time I caught him in a lie about a girl very early on in our relationship. | BF changed his password on his phone so I couldn't access it while he left it with me. Should I be worried? |
t3_35odgj | relationships | I [19 M] have many acquaintances but no close friends [18-20 M/F] because they stop interacting with me if there's no convenient face to face interaction. | 2nd year in college and I feel like I haven't made any close friends (specifically male friends). I'm very approachable and I often approach others as well, and I can hold a conversation on just about anything. So, it was easy for me to communicate with people and make fast friends. With that being said, I always try to escalate our friendship with some kind of dinner or movie or study time, usually one on one because I find it easier to get to know a person one on one. I usually lock onto one person that I feel I really connect with, and proceed to get to know them better this way. This usually is very successful and we become good friends, but they never seem to last. These "good friendships" seem to always end after the semester is over: we stop seeing each other, we don't talk as much anymore, they stop caring about me, etc. It's like we grow apart immediately, and people don't seem to make time to socialize with me, even if I bring it up. What used to be constant texts becomes a single text every other day, and without much response.
How do I make friends that last? Or how do I keep friends after the semester is over? | Semester ends -> me without friends. I end up having to build from the start. What do? |
t3_3at1zg | relationships | I [20 F] will be breaking up with my [28m] of two and a half years tomorrow. I have no idea how to go about it or what to expect. | I have been with my bf a long time and before him, had only kissed one other guy. He was my first everything basically. I need to break it off as its become extremely toxic. I've never been in this situation and I was curious to see if anyone who had more experience with relationships could give me advice and let me know what to expect when I tell him. Also advice on how to even say I'm sending it. He has developed codependent problems so he'll likely have a lot of emotional problems and beg me to stay. How can I not cave? Im afraid I might if he cries and begs (he's done this before when I tried to end it). Thank you. | I've never been in a relationship but my current one. Don't know how to break up or stand my ground or what to expect. |
t3_4jdknh | relationships | My girlfriend [19F] of 1 year ignores me [18M] and hits me. | Background:
Our relationship started on a weird note. We were friends, and slowly moved towards something more, but I didn't really want commitment, and asking her, got the vibe that she didn't either. For about 6 months, we didn't put a label on whatever we had and just hung out. During those 6 months, I had sex with two other women, something I assumed to be okay because of the agreed-on lack of commitment. I didn't tell her, because I thought she didn't want to know. After those 6 months, we agreed to officially start dating and by then all of my other relationships had been long severed.
It was okay for a while, but then she confronted me with the fact that she knew I'd had sex with other women. I was initially confused, since I assumed that was okay under what we had agreed as no commitment, but understood where she was coming from. She called it "cheating" and after talking to me, I came to admitting it as such.
Since then, she'll get mad at me and give me the silent treatment for days at a time - not acknowledging my presence, not responding to my messages, and generally being upset with my existence. Usually, after about a week of sulking, she'll tell me what made her mad (some trivial thing like not telling her I've made plans) or just never tell me and go back to being a seemingly happy person.
I did ask her a few months ago if it was still because of what I did early on in the relationship, but she maintains that she's over it and when she gets mad it's just because I'm an asshole.
She's not very nice to me in front of our friends, where when I make a bad pun she'll hit me (I've developed a flinch) or call me a "fucking idiot." I've gotten used to the violence and verbal abuse, but it still sucks.
Thanks for any advice you guys have :) | My girlfriend gets mad at me and doesn't tell me why. |
t3_2wiwn9 | relationships | Friend [18F] was into me [18M] earlier, but I screwed up and she's terrible at communicating | Caroline and I met the first week of school and we immediately hit it off - I danced with her at the first dance but chickened out and didn't pursue things right away because I wasn't used to girls being into me.
She's clearly into me (admitted to a mutual friend) and I think she's cute but my sister told me not to get into a relationship first semester and she gives solid advice, so I'm trying not to escalate. She cuddles with me in my room once while hanging out and I talk to her about not wanting to lead her on - I'm not looking for anything serious. It's ok, we're good friends and hang out at least once a week.
Cue second semester, and I've finally realized I'm into her and want to try dating. I can't find her around anywhere because suddenly she's taking 5 classes and a bajillion clubs, so I message her, and we're joking around. I ask her out (over messenger)(I know, I know) and say "to be clear, I'm asking you out". 9 minutes of radio silence later, she says yes. We joke around and she mentions having a heart attack (me too). Earlier we were joking about not being friends (because I played a prank on her) and she mentions that we're still friends (red flag?).
I talked to her today and we're talking about the date, and she says "date != dating" (fair enough) and then "we're just grabbing coffee as friends" (!!). So I clarify obviously and apparently there was a miscommunication. I talk to her in person (finally!) and tell her that I think she's gorgeous and I want to go on a more-than-friends date. She says "Ahh this is so hard, I don't think I can do that right now". | Girl liked me but I didn't want to be in a relationship; now I like her, but what to do? What did I do wrong (if anything :/) |
t3_dn7ox | AskReddit | I have reached the point in my life that my friends are getting married, and I have some questions and would appreciate any advice. | So I am 23 and people are starting to tie the knot. I am heading to the first wedding in a month, and there are 2 more engagements added recently and a few more that will happen pretty soon. I started to realize I have a couple of questions regarding proper procedure for weddings, since I have never gone as an adult before.
The registry: Should I expect the list to be 95% stuff that the girl is going to want every time? If so, and there is not stuff that I believe the guy would want should I keep to the registry anyways? Do I buy gifts for the couple or the individual, even if I do not know half of the couple?
Communication: I am not a very formal person, though I realize there is a time and place to be formal. I just feel that in my communication my formality masks my own excitement and happiness for them, and I would like to express it, but as soon as I start writing a formal letter I feel silly, as if it comes across forced and wooden.
At the wedding/reception: How much of it is just hanging out with your friends who are also at the wedding? It seems like this will be 90% of it since none of us are single, we will have a vague connection to anyone there, and the groom/bride will likely be to busy with everyone else there to actually spend much time with any one individual and we do not see each other much any more as post college has spread us across the country.
Lastly about the whole experience. Are they fun? Obviously they are depicted as fun, but so is prom, watching baseball and Halo. Any tips to enjoying them? | What I should expect as a 23 year old who is about to start going to weddings? |
t3_387xzs | tifu | TIFU by leaning my chair against a wall | Obviously this didn't happen today. This happened about a week ago.
So I'm sitting in science class with my friend. We like to talk about nerdy things. We were talking about the End of the Line TF2 short movie. Meanwhile I'm leaning back so far in my chair the front legs are off the ground and the back is against the wall. I did this all the time. It's actually quite comfy for long classes. In fact I'm doing it right now. But anyway, my friend gets the brilliant idea to shake my chair leg. It makes me and my chair both fall over and now everyone is staring at me. Then my teacher separates us for making a distraction. Now that I'm pretty embarrassed, whenever I see that friend (he's a short one) I tower over him and put a face on that's something like the "Not Bad" face. | Leaned to far back in a chair, friend wiggled the leg and I hit the floor in the middle of class. |
t3_1ml16h | relationships | My [23M] gf [22F] of 5 years wants to break up | LDR relationship right out of highschool. We get along great when things are going good, but she has a lot of emotional self-esteem problems (as do I, honestly). She constantly blames herself for everything and things that she's not good enough and doesn't bring anything to the relationship. She likes to focus on criticisms and not compliments, regardless of the distribution between the two.
I just found out that a week ago when she was visiting family, she ended up kissing a guy. I also found out that last fall her friend set her up on a date with another guy. Her friends constantly try to get her to see other people and always talk bad about me, but she agreed to the date. When we saw each other this past week, I saw her texting a friend that she missed the guy she kissed and had feelings for him. The friends encourage her to date and are extremely happy about her kissing and having a crush on another guy.
We argue a lot because we're both stressed a lot and probably don't communicate as well as we could, and we've been on rocky relationship grounds since her dog died in january since she's been depressed. She's had a crazy number of things happen to her since we've been together (father fell sick with cancer, pet dog died, new baby brother that she has to take care of because her parents can't due to sickness, grad school). Unfortunately, we end up talking about her problems a lot and we never get to talk about mine. I'm always there to support her, but I'm not sure if she appreciates it, or if she ever has.
I feel like I've been attacked in character by her friends and mixed with her low self esteem made her think that I don't care for her, and in return she says that she thinks she's stopped loving me. She's confused about having a crush on another guy and from our blatant miscommunications. I have no idea what to do in order to save this relationship. I want to stay together, but her self esteem issues always convince her that she's not good enough and makes me (who has natural trust issues) even more worried, especially now. | gf of 5 years has low self esteem, and that's gotten in the way of our relationship. After kissing another guy and listening to her friends against me, she now wants to break up |
t3_31s51n | relationships | My [27m] ex [24m] (6 month relationship) wants to know all my darkest 'secrets' before we can 're-try our relationship'. I don't want to. | Ever since we broke up (due to me not considering moving to his city -- which by the way, is in another country), he has insisted that, in-order for him to consider ever dating me again, I need to tell him every secret in regards to things that have happened in the past (such as full disclosure of every relationship I've ever had, where I've lived before and for how long ECT, detailed history of all my family members).
This makes me all incredibly uncomfortable as I have always lived a very private life and have afforded all of my past partners a high degree of privacy as well.
I have told him no a number of times and that, if he wants to date me he has to accept me "as I am now" and not try to drudge up old drama or become overly paranoid.
I'd love to date him again, we had a great relationship but he keeps bringing this up and I can't seem to shake it. | Ex wants me to disclose every detail of my past relationships but I'd rather not. How do I address this without being too harsh. |
t3_3l9fca | tifu | TIFU By shaking my dick to Paradise City | This happened today. Where I work they play streaming music throughout most of the building including the bathrooms. My division does not have music playing so it's interesting to hear what the rest of the building is listening to. Today I went to use the bathroom. As I was walking towards the bathroom I noticed the music playing was Guns N Roses Paradise City. I start humming the song in my head I enter the bathroom. I go to the urinal and start to relieve myself not really paying much attention as I'm thinking of work and other things. The song is now towards the end where it is double timing. About the time I start shaking the last drops off and realize I'm shaking to the beat and humming out loud. Just then a co worker walks in and just stops. I realize what I'm doing zip up fast avoid eye contact and wash my hands as fast as possible. As I walk out the door I hear "Rock on man" | Humming a song shaking my privates in rhythm in the bathroom in front of a co worker. |
t3_hkyob | AskReddit | I might get kicked out of my apartment...Sorry to bother you, reddit, but I really need advice :\ | Hey all.
So I am subleasing my place from a friend for only a month and a half. I paid her a set fee that she guaranteed to me was fine and I thought that would be the end of that...Until the owners of the property told me I either had to pay $200 (money I don't have) to be officially named on the lease (which I thought my friend would have organized for me) or I'm going to be kicked out in a week. Now isn't that fun?
Now, my friend not only misinformed me of an extra $200 fine to be a subleaser, but she is going to "try to get out of it." That to me means I'm going to have to eventually move out and find a different place to live until the semester is over (and possibly NOT getting the money back that I already paid her) because she doesn't want to pay the $200 and she won't get around the system. I have already spoken to the person in charge and tried to explain (or rather go around it) by saying I'm only staying for the next two weeks (I'm only staying for 3 more weeks but that sounds like it's too long).
One of my roommates suggesting making it look like I moved out of the place and then just moving my stuff back in, but I don't want to have to do that. I paid to NOT have to lie about living somewhere.
I told my friend she needed to handle it and pay the money, because she is the one in breach of contract, not me. Was that right to do? If not, what SHOULD I be doing? | I might get kicked out of the apartment I'm subleasing from my friend because she did the rent payment under the table and won't pay the $200 subleasing fee that's specifically on her contract. |
t3_1h9icj | relationships | Me[21F] with my boyfriend [20M] of over a year. We have one major issue in our relationship, and I need help resolving it. | Okay so we've been together for a little over a year, and we love each other a lot. The only problem is that he likes to drink, and I'm unlucky enough to have migraines triggered by the smell of alcohol. Currently he doesn't drink a lot around me, mostly only in the summer when we're apart. However, he's turning 21 in a month and I fear it'll be more frequent since he can buy it himself.
I've expressed my concerns to him. I fear that if he starts drinking more often, it'll tear us apart. He told me that maybe I'll get used to the smell, but he doesn't understand that you can't "get used to" migraine triggers.
When he does drink, the smell often lingers on him for days, and I usually have to avoid him for a while. I just don't think it's healthy for a couple to have to avoid each other like that. He's said before that he wants to marry me someday, but what am I supposed to do? Sleep on the couch every time he goes to the bar with friends?
I'm just torn right now. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to be sick all the time either. He doesn't seem to understand how sick I really get. Can anyone think of some kind of middle ground here? | My boyfriend of a year likes to drink, but the smell of it gives me migraines. I'm not sure how to proceed with the relationship. |
t3_1za1t7 | Dogtraining | My dog is a douche bag. I'm worried for it's own life. Please help | I have a Chihuahua and Wiener dog mix that has a huge mistrust of strangers. I understand its in their genes, and I can deal with it barking at people that come over, because he only does it up until he gets a good smell of them, and then he is their best friend minutes later.
My biggest concern is his reaction to children. Small people just seem to freak him out for an unknown reason. He does not get used to them at all. He eventually stops barking, but he is extremely timid, and if he finds himself next to a child, he whines like he's dying or goes into another barking fit.
On top of all of that, if he is outside, and even hears a kid, or sees one, he goes into a maniac style freak out mode. He will freaking charge a kid, thankfully he's never bite a kid yet, but we are not entirely sure if he will or wont. I personally don't think he will, because he's gotten right to the heels of a couple and only barks.
We've had him in close proximity to kids before for extended periods of time, and as long as me or my fiancee are in view, he'll be alright after a while. But the moment one of us are out of view, or he crosses a corner and finds a kid there, he goes back into maniac mode.
Is there anything that can be done? or is this dog doomed to being on a leash or inside a fenced in area? Because other then that, the dog is wonderful about sticking right next to you, or being in the immediate area. I'd like to be able to let him run around the house when I'm working outside, but I just don't know what to do about this dog's random phobia. | Dog freaks out around kids and charges as if he'll bite, but never does. I'm worried he'll freak out on the wrong kid, or actually bite one and get animal control called on him. |
t3_gnsq3 | AskReddit | So the university I graduated from 3 years ago just called and asked if I can donate to one of their funds... Do I donate? | *Brief background:*
I graduated college with a bachelor's in History, couldn't find a job with it (of course), and eventually found my way into a job in web design / video editing at a company outside of DC.
Even though the pay at my job is pretty good, the cost of living outside of the DC area makes it nearly impossible to save money, so I am currently living paycheck-to-paycheck. Right now, the experience I am gaining on the job is what's important to me.
So ten minutes ago I get a phone call from a student at my alma mater, asking for a donation of $100 for campus events, etc. I didn't exactly have the heart to tell her that I didn't really enjoy my time at that school, but I did mention that I am extremely strapped for cash (which is true). She then asked if I would be willing to give $50. I told her that I need to think about it, so she's going to call me back later this week.
I dunno... did anyone else out there donate money in this situation? I'm kind of torn because I don't want to be selfish and deny current students of additional funds for their clubs, but I **a)** hated going to school there, **b)** have very little money and I am extremely frugal, and **c)** am in debt from my schooling.
Any thoughts? | I'm poor. My alma mater isn't. They want my money for campus events, etc. Do I selflessly donate or do I hold on to every dollar that I need? |
t3_jhfx5 | AskReddit | I'm a dick who slept with his buddy's gf and got found out | so i moved out to a new city about a year ago, made a bunch of new friends around town, at school, etc.. got really close with a dude, derp, in one of my classes who let me into his circle, we started a band together, he's sort of the reason i made a ton more friends than i would have otherwise.
anyway, all year at school, the only girl i met who i had anything click with, derpina, happened to be dating aforementioned dude's best friend, derpward, who by association had become a pretty good friend of mine. school let out and everyone left town including this guy. derpina was one of very few people who stuck around and we were both alone. we hung out a bunch all summer, all platonic stuff, mostly in the company of some other people and i genuinely thought i was over that 'must sex this woman!!' hill when last weekend she invited me out to a bar and many things led to many things and we woke up together.
she told him it happened and since then i haven't heard from derp.
i know it's easy to just say im a dick and shut the book on this one, but i honestly have a tremendous amount of love for derp and his circle, including derpward, i just had absolute shit judgement that night. i think i should write him and put it on the table, and also quit the band we've been playing in together just out of respect for the guy.
i could use some criticisms and comments here folks! help a fellow fuckup out =( | I slept with someone i shouldn't have and her bf knows. |
t3_4fa0na | relationships | How do I [21F] and my friend group [20s M & F] deal with a guy [20's M] "stalking" us? | I've changed a few details to preserve anonymity.
I have a group of 6 friends, we are all in the same medical school and spend most of our rotations and free time together. This guy, I will call him Edwin (20's,M) became enamoured with my friend Shannon but dealt with it in a very immature way. He told everyone but her that he was "in love" and drew portraits of her, basically middle school behaviour. Shannon was uncomfortable with this and made it obvious to him and he backed off for a while.
The problem is, Edwin has shifted his attention to the entire friend group. I don't know if it is in an attempt to get close to Shannon or not. He requested to be moved to our rotation group in the wards, even though none of us had spoken to him before. When we make plans for dinner he invites himself along and gets hurt when we tell him it is a private occasion, for example, a quiet birthday dinner. He has asked several of us separately to add him to our group chats and considered us his best friends. All of these have been within the last two weeks
We have tried letting him know that we're uncomfortable with all this but he just doesn't seem to get a hint. Unless you tell him verbally "No, you cannot join us" he can't seem to understand non-verbal cues or pick up vibes from conversation. I don't know if he is autistic but he is very blunt and avoids eye contact. He is not a bad person but he is very intense. How can we let him know that this behaviour is strange? | Guy is obsessively following my friends and I around and cannot seem to understand that this makes us uncomfortable |
t3_3ec88h | relationships | Me [22F] with my Boyfriend[27 M] of 3.5 yrs, I dont listen or communicate and i need to learn how | So my BF and i live together, and have for 3 years. Every other aspect of our relationship is great, except for my thoughtfulness( i think thats the right word?)
This morning we had an argument about the fact that i dont listen to him, care about whats important to him in his life, and i dont respect him. Also, this is not the first conversation hes had with me over this.
Example of this morning :I told him i would help him look for something in the house 2-3 weeks ago. I never did look. ( not because i didnt want to, but honestly, i forgot/ forget) But he will set up my lunch and such for work the next day when i ask him.
I truly think at this point alot of this is on my end. Im lazy, im not organized (cant remember to look for something), im selfish.
I really just dont know what to do. He is important to me, I DO care about what he says. He texted me saying hes not prepared to deal with this anymore.
What can i do to improve my communication while keeping the relationship intact? | boyfriend says hes doesnt want to deal with my non-caring attutude towards him anymore. I dont mean to act or make him feel this way. what can i do? |
t3_1vn8lg | relationships | HELP, tried to make a girl feel good about herself, now there's an imminent relationship | So there is this girl who likes me at school (I'm 16, she's 15), her friends had told me that she likes me without her knowing. For now, we'll call her Katy.
Basically, I could obviously tell Katy had never had a boyfriend before, and that she REALLY likes me. So I thought that I make her happy by being flirtatious with her. So only a couple days after I knew she like me i asked, "Do you want to hang out? Maybe see a movie?", and of course she said yes.
I took her to see Frozen, and in the heat of things i decided to hold her hand. Once I did that I knew I messed up because then she proceeded to lay her head on my shoulder. Now she REALLY, REALLY, REALLY likes me, but I just don't think I can be in a relationship with her.
How do I let her know I don't want to be in a relationship without hurting her? | Tried to make a girl feel good about herself, now I'm stuck with an imminent relationship I don't want |
t3_w9x6f | relationship_advice | People do this every day, but I have no idea what I'm doing. [22,F] | I can feel that my 6 year relationship is coming to a close. The worst part is, we get along fine - but lately it's more like we're roommates and I can feel that we just don't support each other in the way that we would like - I think we're not the same people who we were when we met. I feel bad because he still seems to love me - always affectionate, etc... but sometimes I can't really tell if he's genuinely still crazy for me or if he's going through the motions, trying to salvage like I was.
I am in graduate school and I work, and he works full time - we are both quite successful, and I just feel so unsupported. It's not that he doesn't support me, it's just that he'll ask questions that are kind of critical and that's not the support I'm looking for. I've told him this before. I know he feels the same way - he will show me projects I'm looking for, and all I can say is "cool" or "nice", and I know he needs more than that - I can't give it to him and it's not fair to him. I think the kind of support he gives me is what he needs, but we're just not the same people - it's almost like we're not compatible anymore.
I feel as though we are holding each other back and at the same time, draining each other. But here's the thing: We signed a lease in March, neither of us can afford the place on our own. How does this work? I was thinking of saying (after we have The Conversation, which I also have no idea how to approach...) to him, he can stay or I can go - one of us will clearly have to get a roommate whoever stays. | How do people do this? How do they know it's the right choice? How do people end relationships while in leases? How do I have that conversation? Help. |
t3_thrvw | AskReddit | Do I have jealousy issues? | Im in high school, single, never been kissed and have high standards. today, one of my friends had been texted by a not-so-attractive girl in our class. Even though she doesn't look that pretty, she managed to have sex with her ex. but today, she texted my friend and hinted sex to him. he laughed and said that he would never do anything with her, but i think there is a little part in the back of his mind saying that he considers it a little. Now, when i heard this and read the text he showed me while laughing, i chuckled a little bit. But in my gut, i felt disgust, anger, and a little bit of jalousy. i dont know why i feel jealous of him, im not that pumped full of hormones and raving for sex. i have high standards, i admit, but standards nonetheless. i dont know what to do right now, all this envy is making me lose my appetite and makes my stomach hurt. i still want to hang with my friend, but i dont want to hate him. what should i do?( | ugly chick asked friend for sex and i dnt know why im jealous.) |
t3_1yez47 | pettyrevenge | Petty soccer revenge | I was playing a game in my rec, co-ed indoor soccer league (read as not serious at all). My team is playing the undefeated, number one team in the league. At this point in the game we're ahead 5-4. A teammate passes me the ball close to the goal. I beat a defender by cutting right and blast a shot into the net. As we're walking back to midfield for the kickoff, I hear an opposing player on the bench yell to his teammates on the field, "He's just going to keep cutting right! He's got no good moves!" This will not stand. The kickoff is taken and I manage to get the ball back almost immediately. I have one defender to beat. I get the ball, cut to the left, score with my left foot, and, without saying a word, point directly to the trash-talking guy sitting on the bench. Our team ends up winning the game 8-5. Victory tasted just a bit sweeter tonight. | Opponent doubts my soccer abilities. I prove him wrong. |
t3_hkg18 | BreakUps | She's with another guy but i can't stop thinking about her. | **moved from r/relationship_tips**
We've (M24/F22) been in the same degree program for almost 3 years now and shes my best female friend. She got together with another guy before i got my chance/ had the confidence to ask her out. I also happen to know him quite well.
Because of this i've been pretty down lately and when we hang out with friends and i see them both together i get into a really bad mood, sometimes up to the point where i leave because i can't bear it any longer. It's nothing agressive, "just" heartache. Before this got so bad i agreed to go on a 2 week vacation with them and some other friends. I realise now that i probably will ruin everyones trip if i tag along.
Should i cancel the trip and confess my feelings to her despite her being in a relationship or should i just cancel and keep my mouth shut since her friendship also means alot to me? I know she probalby wont dump her bf and get with me but i hope at least this feeling will go away after she turns me down.
I'd like to hear some experiences on how awkward it is/can be to be friends with someone who turned you down. Shes the kind of girl who is pretty cool about most things, not really a girly girl type if that makes any sense. | Should i confess my feelings to my best female friend despite her being in a relationship or should i keep my mouth shut to at least be friends with her? |
t3_4wrj2r | Advice | 21 M, Aspbergers, Recovering addiction to benzos, opiates, cigarettes, alcohol, very little energy or will to live, lost all seven jobs ive ever held, in agitation/suffering most of the time, advice for finding employment? | I've been off these substances just over two months now, now i just smoke pot, or do psychedelics.
Tried going without the pot, for like two weeks, and i couldn't tolerate life without it. Been smoking marijuana for 8 years and i never plan on quitting.
I had two major concussions, including one from from a siezure, this year alone. Ive felt fucked up ever since
Deeply in love with my ladyfriend who deeply loves me, exclusively with eachother, but we are not officially in a boyfriend girlfriend thing because i lost my shit from the depth of addiction i fell into last year, and now because i dont have a job.
im so stuck in these feelings of self hatred. texas is so hot and uncomfortable and the police here would throw me in a dungeon and throw cruel and unusual fines at me for marijuana, i worry about it a lot. Moving to Oregon as soon as possible, planning on doing it in a year, but i have no way of generating income and i dont know how to, i tried so hard to get so many jobs last year and lost all of them, got fired, had nervous breakdowns, most times i got no calls back.
Life seems too traumatic, i have severe PTSD and its hard for me to leave my bed unless im going up to see my ladyfriend. shes out of town this week and im by myself and shes pressuring me to get a job but i feel like i cant get out of bed most of the time | recommended job, i dont know how to live, constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, suicidal thoughts i must push off constantly, high functioning autism, severe trauma, fear to go outside, concussion damage* |
t3_ex9sf | AskReddit | Credit Card/ Bank Question | Throwaway account. I got a call last night at around 8:30 from a person claiming to be a representative from my bank. She asked if I had received the new credit card that they had sent a notification about a few months ago. I recently moved out of my parents' house and occasionally still receive mail at that address and I did remember seeing some kind of letter from my bank about a new card but it kind of slipped my mind. This was probably early November. I try to avoid using my credit card regularly but I've probably used it a few times since getting this letter but I've paid it off pretty fast each time.
She said that because I have such great credit they were upgrading my service. I asked what kind of services this new card would give me and she was kind of vague but directed me to a website with information. Honestly, I can't remember the name of the website. She confirmed my parents' address and said a new card would be coming in the mail.
I checked all of my accounts this morning and there are no odd charges on either my debit card or my credit card. There's no new card activated. I'm thinking I'll probably call my bank on my lunch break just to double check. I'm just not sure if I'm still somehow being scammed. She didn't ask any pressing information from me; could I still be getting ripped off? | Someone called me claiming to be from my bank. They said they were sending me a new card because I'm a great customer. Am I going to be a victim of credit card fraud? |
t3_3ukv1d | relationships | Huge problems with Wife [31/F] over paying for my mothers retirement [69/F] | My mother recently had to be movement into a retirment home after an accident. As my mother was not able to save up for retirment (she had to raise four of us alone on a nurse salary after my father died in an accident) we decided too split the bill between us siblings, except for my brother [32/M] who went back to university doing his masters and has no money (we agreed he would pay back the money later). This payment makes out an not substantial but also not small amount of my salary (its around 15 %).
Lately I have gotten into fights around that fact with my wife. My mother is not going into the most fanciest of all retirment homes, but it is a good and slightly expensive one. We looked at alternatives but all the other retirment homes are simply no up to standards and some were downright horrible. My wife is objecting to that. In my country the base coverage is paid by the government thus theoretically my mother could go to such a home without any of us paying. However, this home has a bad reputation and is severly lacking ressources and personal.
This is the clashing point. My wife, who is coming from a fairly wealthy family, is of the opinion that my mother should have taken care of her pension herself (which she did within her possibilities) and is to blame herself.
I really dont know how to deal with the situation because compromise is impossible (my mother is already going to the "cheapest acceptable home" and all my siblings are paying the same) and she wont let go of it. Appreciate some advice. | Have financial issues with my wife over my mothers retirement home. |
t3_3b9dlq | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 3 months, loner dealing with burnout | Hi Reddit,
I've never really had too many friends, and I spent most of my time along and taking a break from the world. I've always needed lots of time to recover from interacting with people. I've avoided forming relationships because of how taxing they are one me, and how rarely I've wanted to spend time with people.
But over the last year and a half I've been looking to add some people to my life. I've started dating my first girlfriend in the last few months ago. I really love, and really care about her. The crux is that she wants to see me as often as 3 or 4 times a week for hours at a time, and text everyday (I know that's not unreasonable). She worries when I don't text back for a few hours. I really like spending time with her, I just can't handle interacting with someone so much.
I need lots of alone time so I don't feel crazy. But when I've taken some time for myself, she'll text me things like "I miss you", or "I can't wait to be with you again". I feel bad for not sharing those same sentiments with her, and guilty for not wanting to see her when I've been alone for so long.
I'm starting to get burned out. I don't want to see her, I just want to spend time alone. Is there anything I can do to take the time I need without hurting her? | Loner dealing with a needier partner |
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