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t3_v6iym | AskReddit | When I was young, a strange man bet my friend and I 50 pence that we couldn't find him in the bushes nearby. What near Paedophile attack stories do you have? | When I was about eleven or twelve a friend and I were playing in the park. A long wall went from one end of the park to the other, over two football fields long. There was a banking all the way along it with trees, bushes and things like that, great for plying in when you're young.
We were writing things on the wall with chalk, if I remember rightly it was something to do with The Fall Guy, we liked that show.
Out of nowhere, this weird looking guy, classic green mack and thick NHS glasses and greasy hair, jumped from the other side of the wall and walked slowly into the bushes. As he did this he said ' I bet you 50p you can't find me in these bushes'.
We ran away of course and told our parents. The guy was found and arrested. It turned out he was known for being a dodgy paedo
type.
I often wonder if I hadn't been taught not to talk to strange man like this and run away, what would have happened.
Anyone else have stories like this? | listen to your parents, don't talk to strangers. |
t3_10ldur | AskReddit | Anyone try online dating before? And is it worth it? | Hello Reddit! So I am a 24F and I have been single for a while, recently moved to a new city, busy with work, and it is looking like a good way for me to meet new people and go on dates is to join an online dating website and do that whole "wink" and "flirt with user" thing. Has anyone every used an online dating website before, if so which one? And did you find that website to be useful, or were a lot of the people that you met (men and women) just creeps and single for a reason kind of people? Any tips or advice would be much appreciated! | Online dating works, gotta have some patience with the process, but I found someone who could be my best friend and lover. |
t3_1uqkr4 | relationships | Me [46 F] with my BF [46 M] 10 YRS, How can I stay strong with NC? | Was with my boyfriend for almost 10 years. Broke up before Christmas but never had a real conversation other than..."Can't do this anymore...feeling like we've been stuck in neutral." At the time, he sort of brushed it off, but he has been sending me text messages that he loves me and misses me. We have gone around this merry go round before and I don't see a future with him, but we get along well and enjoy each other's company. I'd like to think that we could realistically be friends, but in the past, when I've given in and communicated with him, I've fallen back into the unhealthy relationship. The sexual part of the relationship was gone years ago, and he would consistently shut me down whenever I would try to initiate intimacy. But the crazy thing is that he knows I'm physically attracted to him so in the past, he has always tried to romance me back and I have fallen for it, only to feel crappy about it when things would fall right back into the old patterns. Co-dependence in not a healthy thing. I know that I deserve to be in a relationship with someone who loves me, is attracted to me and can be a true soul mate and life partner. The question is, because I have been with him for so many years, I feel like I owe him more of an explanation...He is texting me that "we need to talk" that he misses and loves me and he is texting my kids too, asking if I'm OK, and telling them that we need to talk to work out our probs. Should I just keep up the NC and tell my kids to do the same? Or do I owe him the "big talk" because we've spent a decade together? He is genuinely a nice guy and didn't DO anything wrong...feel like I'm punishing him with no communication?? | Brokeup with BF of 10 Yrs, Am I Punishing Him with No Communication?! |
t3_uwjcd | Parenting | Repost from r/askscience: A question about Downs Syndrome risk in subsequent pregnancies. | I posted this over at r/askscience and got nothing. Any parents/ pediatritians/ otw interested parties over here in r/parenting?
Some friends were recently told by their pediatrician that their newborn has a marker for Downs Syndrome-- not that he HAS Downs--he clearly doesn't--but that he has a single physical trait characteristic of Downs (missing palm crease). They have freaked out a little bit and now say that they don't want to risk a second pregnancy. Additionally, the mother says Downs "runs in her family".
Reddit, does this make any sense? My understanding of Downs Syndrome is not profound, but, since it's a chromosomal disorder, how is it possible for it to run in a family (unless there's something about chromosomes segregating poorly in general-- but if that were the case, wouldn't there be lots of other weird health problems, plus a history of miscarriages?). It seems more likely to me that either the doctor was just wrong (babies are chubby!), that there was just a random *slight* chromosome 21 duplication for this child, or that it's just a quirk that's totally unrelated to Downs in the first place. It also seems to me that there should be no reason to think that future pregnancies would carry any special risk for Downs (besides advancing maternal age, obviously). I'd hate to think these sweet parents would choose not to have any more children based on their doctor's bad bedside manner plus some misconceptions about genetic risk. But I don't want to say anything in case I'm wrong. | is it possible to have a high GENETIC risk of downs syndrome (i.e., not heightened risk due to advanced maternal age)? Are my friends worried about nothing? |
t3_2xsgy8 | relationships | Me [32M] with my GF[29F] of 3 months, I just meet her kid for the first time | As the title says, I just meet my GFs kid for the first time last night. The three of us went out to a Dave and Busters and had a blast. This is the first time I've ever dated a women with a kid and am looking for general advice of does and don't on dating someone with a kid.
Some background. We meet online back in December and have been spending a lot of time together. She splits custody of her son with the dad and said from the first date, that she's not looking for someone to become a dad to her kid. If it matters, he's 9 himself. | Dating a women with a kid and looking for general advice on what to do and what not to do. |
t3_18kjcg | relationships | My[21M] girlfriend[19F] doesn't know if she's in love with me. | We have been together for six months. Our relationship is really great so far. We hang out all the time and always have a blast together. We said "I love you" to each other three months in to the relationship. The other night I told her "I'm so in love with you". She kissed me and smiled, but didn't say it back. I asked her if she was in love with me. She said that she thinks she is, but she has never been in love before, so she doesn't know.
I'm really confused about this. I asked her what she thought the difference between 'love' and 'being in love' was. She basically told me that when she says 'I love you', it means she cares about me and wants me to be happy. As for being 'in love', she doesn't really know.
I think that when you are truly in love, you know it for sure. I can't help but feel a little put down that she is not in love with me. I love her very much and I can envision a future with her.
My girlfriend has had two other boyfriends in the past. She told me that she use to say 'i love you' to them, but she never actually felt it.
Has anyone else been in this situation, or understand where my girlfriend's head is at? How do you differentiate between being in love with someone, and just loving someone? | Girlfriend doesn't know if she is in love with me or not. Looking for some insight. |
t3_320rr0 | relationships | Me [24] with my girlfriend [24 F] 1 year 4 months, is it acceptable to ask my girlfriend to not vent to me in a hysterical way? | Hi Fellas! Long time no post (that's probably a good thing lol)
A little background: My girlfriend moved 8 hours away to a big city in January and began her career at a big accounting firm. So on top of supporting her in this big move, I have also heard how shitty it is to work where shes at. And this got infinitely worse for her when busy tax season started.
She totally got shafted at work last night, but in a fair way. Her team was expected to leave someone behind to do a task that required one person, so they drew names and she got picked. She then goes and tells me but in a (in my opinion) dramatic way by saying 'this ALWAYS happens to her', 'story of my life', 'her team abandoned her so I hate them', and so on. My favorite was that it's unfair that she stays behind because she knew that she was going to be chosen.
I got a bit fed up after she had her say because I find it hard to be 100% supportive when someone is playing the 'world is against me' card, which I told her later that night and she understood where I was coming from. Considering that I have been supporting her during this entire life change, is it unfair for me to not want her to express herself the way she did in a situation that is pretty lame to be in? | Should a person have to consider how they express themselves to the person that they are venting towards? |
t3_23tj28 | relationships | boyfriend [22/M] still communicates regularly with one of his close girl friends that he has a history with, and his friends always talk in front of me about how amazing she is. This makes me [F/20] really uncomfortable. | My boyfriend and I have a strong and trusting relationship and have been together for about 8 months. Less than a year before we started dating, he brought his friendship with a girl who he had been friends with for a long time to the next level. They became really close and were sexually involved for a while. He assured me there was nothing to worry about, especially because at the time that we first got together she was in a pretty serious relationship with someone. Recently, her boyfriend broke up with her, and two days later she came over to my boyfriend's apartment after not having come over for months. Immediately she started texting and calling him more, and telling him all about her problems. I found this very inappropriate, and I told him so. He said there was no way he would ever have feelings for her again, and that he would keep their communication to a minimum.
I trust my boyfriend completely, but I still can't help but feel uncomfortable and jealous when she's around, or when they text each other, or even when he likes her facebook status's and pictures. His friends can tell that I get uncomfortable when she comes over, but they still feel the need to comment on how beautiful and "hot" she is, that they miss her, and ask my boyfriend when she's coming over next. It really makes my blood boil, but I don't want to say anything about it because I don't want to seem insecure and jealous. Should I tell him to stop talking to her? That seems unreasonable. And I know that since she's friends with all of his friends, I'll see her around occasionally. Not sure how to make this nagging discomfort go away. | boyfriend still talks and hangs out with his ex friends-with-benefits/close friend, and she started reaching out to him more after her recent break-up. His friends make things even worse by constantly asking when she'll be over next and saying how much they love/miss her. |
t3_3qcpsw | tifu | TIFU By Using The Wrong Emoticon. | This just happened minutes ago.
My online friend (well, I don't even know if I should call her a friend anymore) wrote a goodbye message to me to break off our friendship.
Me, not knowing how to respond, meant to send ':l', but instead sent ':L' which becomes a laughing emoticon. It has an animation and everything.
So after hitting send, I flip the fuck out and start apologizing profusely.
Me: :L
Me: weLP
Me: I SENT THE WRONG EMOTICON
Me: WOW I'M AN ASSHOLE
Her: Glad your happy
Her: Yeah, you are
Her: Bye
After that, she blocked me.
Now I'm sitting here, writing this in shock and shame while I curse myself for being a fast typer. | Sent the wrong emoticon, ended a good friendship that could've been saved. |
t3_2vviza | relationships | My [22M] boyfriend teases me [21F] but won't be intimate | So, this might be a bit of an odd question, but I'll give it a shot. BF and I have been dating for 3 years, and we're both about to graduate from the same college. We haven't had PIV sex yet because we don't want to risk getting pregnant. However, I really enjoy making out/touching each other. He, on the other hand, only enjoys this very very rarely. Most of the time he participates grudgingly until I just push him away.
I'd be able to get used to his lack of interest in these things if it wasn't for the fact that he likes to tease me. He likes to squeeze my butt and boobs, he'll stare at them and make favorable comments, he'll tickle me, etc. After a while of this I start to get excited, but it doesn't take a genius to see that he doesn't want to go any further, ever.
I have tried talking to him about this, including just last night. But we both always get wrapped up in our emotions--he gets sullen and apologetic but won't offer explanations, and I start crying about not being attractive or desired (which he denies).
The only explanations I've got are "making out gets boring" and "I like it when we build up to it", but I don't understand how to cater to him in this way.
Honestly, I would much much prefer him saying "I don't really like this stuff" and not touching me intimately ever, than him teasing me and grudgingly engaging.
What can I do, reddit? Please no 'dump him' comments, I plan to marry this guy in the near future (once we graduate and get our feet on the ground). He's wonderful, smart, kind, and perfect in every other way. | Boyfriend gropes me and teases me but won't engage in anything further. Claims he's attracted to me but it's hard to believe at times |
t3_2jq5zz | loseit | Here I Go! | Hello /r/loseit!
Here I am, putting myself out there on the internet declaring that I am going to finally start getting my weight under control. It actually feels quite good to type this up. Which is why I figure quite a few people make these introductory posts.
I am a 26 year old male standing 5' 11'' tall and I weigh 270lbs. My goal is to drop down to as close to 200lbs as I can by next May.
Why May? Three reasons: 1) Next summer I am heading out west so I want to be able to enjoy everything that wonderful part of the country has to offer! Mountains, hiking, camping, oh my! 2) Before that I am going on a trip with my Father. I haven't seen him in almost a year and I would REALLY like to surprise him! He has always been concerned about my weight, but in a loving way if that makes sense. 3) I want to do it for me! I want to be healthy. And that is the most important reason!
Until today, I hadn't weighed myself in almost a year. I knew I was putting on some pounds but I didn't know I was putting on that much! 270 is scary close to 300! Well it is high time I do something about that! I signed up for Myfitnesspal (even though I don't have a smart phone *GASP*) and I am going to start logging what I eat and how much I exercise.
There are a few large hurdles that stand in my way. I work at a fast food restaurant. I know some people would say to quite this job, but it is funding my trip next year, so I really have to keep it. The other hurdle is that there is a Walmart literally in my backyard. As in it's less than a 3 minute walk from my apartment door. That is going to make it really easy for me to get crap food when I am craving it.
Anyway, I am super excited to start this journey and see where it takes me! A bit thanks to everyone here for giving me such great inspiration! It is a pleasure to read your stories! | Yet another guy who is wanting to get into shape for his health and his future, and it making this post so he feels more responsible about loosing his weight! |
t3_fy8b8 | relationships | I need some help with my girlfriend... | (crosspost from r/sex)
My girlfriend and I (male) have been dating seriously for four and a half years now-we're both young 20's-and we're both attending different colleges, far apart. We have a great long distance relationship and truly care about each other, and have discussed at length continuing our relationship after college. The few three day weekends and weeks off a year I get to see her, we have phenomenal sex. There's just one thing lacking: she has never sent me any dirty pictures. It's not something I push, but I do mention it infrequently, and I always am shut down by a resounding "NO!" (She has quite a few of me and loves them).
So, here's my thoughts:
* I feel like our relationship isn't worth much to her, because our relationship is controlled by her mother (they are very open) and her mother always warns her of the "dangers of getting her nude pictures leaked all over the internet like those 'girls on the news.'"
* I think she thinks that I'm not trustworthy or responsible, because she thinks I'll show other people(?)
* I feel that I'm not as important to her as she is to me, because she never takes the time to do this for me, something that I really want.
AND FINALLY, THE BIG ONE:
* I believe that she possibly should get psychiatric help for her self image, which is terrible. She is always putting her amazing looks down, which makes it hard for me to reassure her that I find her attractive. She has even to gone so far as to say that one reason it is hard for me to make her orgasm is because she "can't stand me seeing her naked" when we have sex. She's not unattractive or overweight or "not my type" by any means. So her body isn't exactly what she wants it to be... so what? That doesn't mean she's not the most beautiful girl in the world to me.
Anyways, thanks for hearing me out. I'd really like some suggestions for things that I can do or say to help her out. I'd appreciate any help. You guys are awesome. | The girlfriend won't send me dirty pictures, but I believe that it's because she has a horrible self image. What can I do to help her? |
t3_231zo9 | relationships | [22M] with my good friend's ex girlfriend [22F] have gotten closer, but I don't know if there's a happy ending here. | Situation needs some context. Throwaway because why not.
Finishing my undergrad degree in a university this month. A little more a year and a half ago a good friend and I were introduced to some others, and among them a particular girl. Total charmer and we're both ethnically from the same place.
My friend 'tried' to hook us up all the while getting to know her better. They ended up dating (after my buddy asked for my "consent") for a little under a year before he broke up with her.
This girl and I have remained friends throughout the time and as of the past four months since their breakup, have gotten a lot closer. We've shared pretty much everything to each other and sadly, I find myself attracted to her again which kills me because I knew I should have made the first move instead of taking my time, and that her and my good friend have history.
Now, I know she hasn't fully recovered from her breakup (it was her first relationship) and she probably isn't ready for another but she tends to use the word 'friend' [ex: "you are too kind my friend"] way too much, something that, as guys, tends to sting when you're in such a position.
My thoughts are just to stay the course, be the best guy I can be, and just be there for her if she needs me. Kinda sounds like a ticket to just being friends, however, which stings even more.
I'm just looking for a third party's input here. I'd really appreciate it. Sorry if this is out of left-field for the norm of this sub. Thanks. This would be my fourth relationship and honestly I'm kinda tired. | Can't make sense of what's going on between me and my friend's ex girlfriend, need some perspective/3rd party input! |
t3_3vvqtp | relationships | Me [17 M] with my Significant Other [15 F], is our age gap too big at this age? | I know this might seem like a silly question, but it's really been bothering me for the past few weeks.
She's not my girlfriend..not yet, anyways. I'm planning on asking her to be mine this weekend on her birthday (she's turning 16).
So back to the major issue, is our age gap too big for us at this age (considering we're only teenagers)?
We both have admitted to liking each other months ago, and I've been wanting to ask her to be my girlfriend for a while now, and I thought her birthday would be the perfect time. But the thing is, her birthday is in December, and mine is in January (I'm turning 18), which means that we're both almost two years apart (1 year and 11 months, to be exact), and I know that two years can change a person. Granted, she's only one grade below me in school, since she's a genius and skipped a grade when she was younger, but still.
Just wondering if anyone has any advice or input on this, thanks in advance. | Is dating a girl about two years younger than you wrong while you're still in high school? |
t3_e2rbi | AskReddit | Researching LASIK & PRK eye surgery. Reading BAD things about LASIK long term side effects. Any advice? | I was really excited to plan LASIK surgery for next year but a friend just told me about reports by former FDA officials on long term side effects stemming from LASIK surgery, which they're only JUST NOW discovering. LASIK has only been around just long enough to start observing the long term affects of this corrective eye surgery. Here are two links to resources on these side effects:
**ABC News Report:**
**Directory site of FDA LASIK reports and comments:**
These reports have lead me to lean more towards PRK as a safer and more appealing long term choice even though the healing process is much longer than LASIK's. | Does anyone have any information or experience related to this topic which may help my decision? Any information you may provide is greatly appreciated. |
t3_3o0ool | relationships | Update: My [25F] boyfriend [23M] didn't get me a birthday present... | Original post can be found [here](
So I ended up confronting my BF about why he didn't get me a birthday card or anything like that. He told me he had planned a birthday present for me and then messed it up, and then felt really awkward about it so he didn't bring it up when he was here last weekend. I'm honestly doubting that I will get any sort of birthday present/card at all at this point, just based on knowing what his personality is like.
I feel like this would be excusable considering he did supposedly make *some* effort, but unfortunately I feel like the relationship is not very balanced in general. He's really forgetful (which I know isn't really his fault) and I had to remind him when my birthday was three or four times beforehand. He is also really really bad at communicating, which is kind of a problem since we are long-distance. Getting him to text me back is like pulling teeth. I used to try and remind him to text me back, but it's now been four days since we had the above conversation and he has not tried to contact me at all. I'm getting a little fed up with it.
He also hasn't really made much effort to prioritize things that are important to me. For example, I'm a writer and I write for a website. He expressed excitement about it at first but I know that he hasn't looked at my stuff at all.
We haven't been dating for all that long but honestly I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with all of this stuff. He is a really great guy in general and I felt like we had a lot of potential earlier on but I don't think I could put up with feeling like I'm really not a priority for him and I'm starting to resent him for it. | Starting to feel like I'm not really a priority for my BF and I'm resenting him for it. Not sure if I should try to save the relationship or if it's pointless to try to change him... |
t3_4nyyde | relationships | Should I [20F] contact my old best friend [20F] of 7 years? | I could really use some advice on this issue.
To begin with, me and my old best friend were very close through the primary school years but she moved out of town when were 13.
I reconnected with her on Facebook when we were 15 but due to my social anxiety I didn't tell her that I want us to be friends again so we stopped talking. I haven't made a new best friend since then and I think my she is part of the reason, ridiculous right?
Now, I'm doing a little better with my social anxiety, so I try to contact her on fb. I wished her a happy birthday and she replied to me, I liked her pics and followed her on Instagram and she did the same. I really want to message her but I'm afraid of looking weird or ridiculous because it's been years.
So, should I message her and I ask her how she's doing? or will she reject me? I know we might probably never be friends again but I don't want to spend my time wondering what if. | Really want to contact my old best friend on fb but I'm afraid of being rejected because it's been years. |
t3_175q6l | relationship_advice | [25/f] Should I move in with my boyfriend [32/m] | I'm having this dilemma and the people I'd normally ask advice to are biased on the matter (they don't like him because he made a bad impression the first time they met and it's hard trying to give him another chance). Also, if you know a better place to ask this, let me know! Since the decision is somewhat related to the relationship, I started out here...
So I'm looking for another place to move out to because my housemate is leaving the city and the current place is too expensive for me to pay on my own. My bf said we should to a place together, since he'd prefer a bigger place. And it kind of makes sense since I've been crashing at his place to the point where I'm more of a housemate and his crib than I am in my own home. This would make paying for housing A LOT cheaper (or be exactly the same but have a huge place). In theory, anyways.
We've been together for half a year. It's been okay so far, but officially and legally moving in to a place means being committed to this for a year. At least in my current situation, I had a place to go if it didn't work out. So that is a big concern (especially since our history together isn't very long). I've also never lived by myself before, and it's somewhat exciting to try it out!
Is there anything the community has to offer, in terms of advice?? | Need to find a new place to live. Boyfriend says we should find a place together, since I'm always at his place anyways. Should I do it? |
t3_491uia | relationships | Just found out that my [F23] mum [F51] will be in pain for the rest of her life. How do I support her? | My mum fell down the stairs two months ago and fractured her leg/ankle in four places, snapped her ligaments and dislocated her ankle. Long story short, the care she received in hospital was terrible. She was placed on the wrong ward due to a lack of beds and the nurses said they hadn't had the training to look after her therefore they weren't going to. She is quite traumatised by her stay in hospital and their negligence has led to lifelong problems for my mum now.
She had two ops (first one failed) and after the second we got her home the day of the surgery because we weren't going to just leave her there to be treated like shit by the nurses. She's in horrific pain from her injuries and also the damage sustained since her fall due to lack of care. She is no stranger to pain and is in remission from cancer. She is the strongest person I know and the pain has been unbearable for her. The thing that has been getting us through it is the idea that the pain is temporary.
Yesterday, she was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome and peripheral neuropathy. I don't know if she will ever walk again. My mum and I are extremely close and I've been with her nearly every day since this happened. We talk a lot about how she feels and I know she's trying to stay strong and not crumble. I am completely devastated for her. I can't believe that one moment has changed her life forever. We have been so focused on her recovery that now I don't know what to say to her. Her condition is likely to worsen. As she was reading the info about crps, she jokingly said it felt like a death sentence. I don't think this is far off how she really feels.
I'm so upset that she is going through this. How can I support her in the best way? What can we focus on now? Where are the positives? | my mum suffered a horrific injury. She was neglected by staff in hospital which has resulted in her being diagnosed with two conditions that will be with her for the rest of her life. I am devastated and don't know how to stay positive. |
t3_4tntra | relationships | Me [26 M] broke up a long time ago with my other [26F] a several months relationship, and it's very hard for me to go on, keep going on, forget her, leave her be | im an usual depressed guy that had many problems, which at the beginning of my relationship seemed to fade away. but, depression reocurred along with upcoming problems, and i hiccuped, i couldn't stay anymore in touch with her, and she left me in the end. the relationship itself wasn't something great, she kept making me angry over the small things i truly enjoyed in life, while she was acting furiously over anything i would say or do; god i fell in love with a bitch. now it makes sense.
lmao, i was trying to get some help, because everytime i see her, i sometimes fall in pieces, sometimes i'm getting over her, i mean she had some good parts, but she tried too much to manipulate me, and i was willing even to spend my whole life with her, trying to mend anything she would break, even myself. but things don't go like that in life, she actually had enough of a relationship like that. my fault i guess, is that she wasn't like fought back when she needed to be fought back, to cool down, my way of arguing with her was usually silence. mainly because when i fought her back, she got destroyed by my big arguments that actually made real sense into her. she was and probably is even now afraid of her flaws, which covers em up really nice. i just realized this now. i mean, she tended and even now, tends to oversocialize in order to keep her inner balance, to make feel herself right because she had some really bad relationships where she over exaggerated everything, so much that in the end it came up to closed weddings.
my god i'm such an amazing idiot. i mean i feel stunned that i didn't saw this coming. | my point is that i started this post because after a joke of a relationship that i had, i really cared about this superficial girl, and sometimes i get really melancholic with what if, whenever i encounter her |
t3_336qf7 | relationships | Me 28 M with my 30 F been dating for 6 months, known for 5 years, she has been becoming distant | So I started dating a lady from work, we weren't into eachother at first. Probably bc we both have a really big guard up. After awhile we grew really fond of one another, would flirt constantly and eventually I got the balls to ask her out. It was amazing, still is. We shared our deepest secrets, had the greatest sex, have the weirdest hobbies and interests in common. Our communication was superb and we would talk all day and we always have fun whenever we spend time together. The other week I was really stressed and was sort of mad at her when I really shouldn't have been, but it wasn't a huge fight. Since then though, it feels like she is just a different person. She used to call me all the time, text back fast, talk about marriage and being her soulmate. She would always compliment me on my looks, on sex, on my work ethic and being a father. Nowadays she very rarely does any of this, takes alot longer to text back, is short and doesn't really call me. We both have busy schedules but she used to try to spend any chance she got with me, now it feels like the only time we spend is when I invite myself over, or complain about not seeing her. She snaps at me over little things now. I never share my real self to anyone it feels like she is going to be another person to let me down. I just want to know what I should do now? Has she just lost interest, stopped loving me, found someone else? | Started off with the best relationship of my life, now she is becoming distant |
t3_21bp1p | relationships | My (21F) boyfriend of 3 years (23M) didn't do anything for my birthday. | We decided to take a break the day before my birthday because we were having some conflicting ideas about the future. On my birthday we didn't speak all day, he brought over a bag of gifts that night because he "didn't have a use for them" and then we didn't really talk much for a couple more days. A little less than a week later, we decided to get back together. And he never did anything for my birthday. We don't do many special things in general... we don't really go on dates, no sweet little surprises, etc. so I always kind of expect holidays and birthdays to be done well. I wasn't expecting much... just take me out to dinner and for a drink or something and acknowledge that I'm a year older. Should I just let it go or should I say something? I'm really bothered by it. | SO and I took a break the day before my birthday, got back together less than a week later, and he never did anything for my birthday. Pretty peeved. Am I being irrational? |
t3_37zvyw | relationships | My [21 F] mom [44 F] has asked me to pay for her apartment and living expenses | My mom works as a housekeeper making less than $11/hr in Indiana. She also had hospital bills she couldn't pay so they started garnishing her wages. She now is only bringing home about $800/month. A few months ago she had to move out of the place she was living, but could not afford to live on her own. She asked me to help her find a place, and pay for it. I am in the military and make more than enough money to support myself and still save and invest, so of course I was willing to pay for a cheap apartment for her. She told me she would do her best to get a second job or get a better paying job, but she is 44, only has a high school diploma, and she's overweight, So i really didn't expect much from that. I don't love paying for her when I could be saving the money for future me. I am currently giving her $500/month.
Just yesterday she asked me for more money. I was afraid this was going to happen. I have already been sending her a little more than ($425/month)rent each month to help her out. She said she wants money to pay off her electric bill deposit and to get my brother's [23 M] car fixed and some to help him out. I have never heard of electric bills having a deposit, but if that really is the case I don't mind paying for it. However, my brother is older than me, makes more money than she does and lives on his own. I also believe he is spending his money on drugs, which is why he can't afford to fix his car. I'm living 12 hrs away in another state, so I'm not there to really see what is going on. I'm not sure what to do in this situation and I was hoping reddit could provide me some guidance from people who have been in this situation before. | Mom and brother asking me for money, don't know what to do |
t3_4q7fj8 | relationship_advice | [21/f] and my tinder buddy [22/m] is turning into a nightmare. Advice? | Note: this is a repost from a post I made in letsnotmeet, sorry if you have read this before.
We first started out with a simple Netflix and chill. I've only met this guy twice and we both mutually agreed that this was nothing more than a summer fling, just to 'hookup'. He seemed like a pretty cool and decent guy so I thought nothing of it.
Shortly after our second meet up, he starts texting me persistently on a daily basis. If I went offline he'd spam my inbox with texts with things like 'why wouldn't you spend time with me anymore' and just wouldn't give me any personal space. He'd expect me to drop work just to spend time with him and would get upset if I ever declined to see him. He just kept getting worse, such as trying to invite himself over to my home.
I tried to let him down gently and when that didn't work, I told him that his behaviour was making me uncomfortable and that we should end things. He then sent me a long wall of text that was basically emotional blackmail. He would even screen grab my texts and tell me to explain each line thoroughly. I apologised to him but insisted that it was over for good.
The next day he texts me telling me he's 'depressed at work' over 'what happened' (but there is no us) and that he really misses me. I've only known this guy for over a week. I eventually blocked him but he found me on another social app and demanded to know why I had blocked him. He then asked me out again and I declined. I then blocked him everywhere.
I just found out from my sister that he's been stalking her online the past week and would repeatedly send her requests/text her, causing her to be distressed. Furious, I sent him a message warning him to fuck off.
His behaviour is really starting to creep me out. Unfortunately, he does know where I live. I don't wish to have to report him and have increased security measures but is there anything I can do? Should I confront or ignore him? | tinder buddy turned stalker who is now online stalking sister. Won't leave me alone and I barely know him. |
t3_2xqk5s | relationships | My SO [21 M] just told me [20 F] that he's seriously planning on moving to China after graduation... | And I'm not sure how to handle it.
He and I have known each other since April 2014, and casually dated for two months, were then separated over the summer but in contact, and resumed dating slightly more seriously in August-November 2014. We lost touch for three months, and last month got back together and are much more serious this time around. We like each other a lot and are having a great time now that we're both in a life position to date each other.
Anyways, the other night he brought up that it's been a long-time dream to live outside the country while he's young. He graduates in May and plans on moving to China with a friend, where he has connections to get a job. He'd live there for one year, ideally. He also said that he would remain in the city where we currently go to school if this plan doesn't work out. I didn't say anything other than support him doing that, but instead quietly felt unexpectedly emotional about this. We've only been official for a month, but we got close in the months preceding and the clock wasn't reset when we got back together.
I was sad because I had imagined this whole future next year, where he stays in this city while I finish college and we continue knowing/dating each other. In all fairness, no one ever told me that was a guaranteed future, but he implied staying here a few times. Now, I'm struggling about how to process him maybe leaving in June, since we plan on being together until then. I'm worried about getting too attached, while simultaneously wanting to get all of what I can out of our remaining time together.
What should I be thinking? Is it worth bringing up with him that this upsets me, even though I support him going (if for no reason other than I really don't get a say in his decision process)? | SO is trying to move to China for a year. I support him, but it makes me incredibly sad thinking about him leaving. Without stopping him from following his plan, how do I help myself through this? |
t3_s2ege | AskReddit | I'm pretty sure I have borderline personality disorder, how can I approach my parents? | Long story short, my mum has had depression, (3 serious bouts) since I was little. I basically am always on edge. I keep everything to myself because I don't want to rock the boat. I've suspected that I have some kind of mental disorder for a while, but recently it's got worse. I looked at a website and I can relate to all the symptoms of bpd. I'm not saying that I'm certain I've got it, but I'm quite sure. I really want help but I'm too scared to talk to my parents about it, in fear of mums depression. I'm only 14, so I can't go to the dr by myself. What should I do? | I think I have bpd but can't talk to parents as I'm scared mums depression will come back because of me. |
t3_1qxmlw | AskReddit | [SERIOUS] I need/want to lose 100 lbs. What are some tips to get me started? | I have been overweight my entire life. However, during the past year and a half, I noticed I've been gaining ALOT of weight.. I find myself unhappy lots lately even though there is really nothing I should be unhappy about.
I have always tried to lose weight, on new diets, going to the gym, taking bad foods out, etc. I must be doing something wrong because I am not getting anywhere :(
I want to be able to go into a mall and shop for whatever I want, wherever I want. It makes me upset when I go out with my friends and I can't wear slutty dresses with them; instead I'm wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt.
My biggest fear is that I'm going to be the same size I am now when I get married. I want to be able to wear any style of dress I want without having to worry about how huge it makes me look.
I need help. What are some tips to start my weight loss plan? | I'm sick of being overweight and unhappy, I need some tips to start losing weight. |
t3_1iwm2s | relationships | My female friend(31F) lately textes me (18M) things i dont know how to react on. | my female friend lately textes me a lot about how bad her constitution is like " i had migraine yesterday " and " after jogging my leg hurt realy hard and i can only hobble" or "my workday was realy hard and everything hurts " and such things realy often. she didnt do that before.
we know each other for 3 months and im in love with her. i dont know if she expects anything from me or so or why is she telling me how bad her constitution is so often ?
we are meeting for 3 months and we bouth were in love with each other but we couldnt be together because of some school related things. we decided to just be friends. | female friend laments lately a lot about her bad constitution and i dont know if she expects anything |
t3_19zvhb | tifu | TIFU By Waking Up to Vigorously | So this undeniably shit day started out around 6am.
I began to wake up with a slight but sharp pain coming from toes, moving from toe to toe like some little pin pricks, after a few seconds of this I was wide awake and instinctively wanted to find out what the hell this was so I sat up in the fashion of a horror movie and in doing so, sat up so fast and jerked my head forward with such enthusiasm that I ripped a muscle in my neck and immediately fell back down in excruciating pain. I've broken a few bones in my time and I thought in my still half asleep pain filled brain that I had broken my neck or at least shaved a section off of a cervical vertebrae. Before I go any further I should mention that it was my cat biting my toes which were dangling blissfully from the end of my bed, anyways...
I put to rest the idea that I had broken something as I didn't have any change of sensation in my limbs and decided to sleep it off, so I lay absolutely still for the next 12 hours. Until I had to get up and go get ready/ go for a piss. Boom! I could not possibly move for the pain, I was paralysed by it, fuck I thought as I lay there in my (quite comfy) bed. After a good 20 minutes of trying I manned up, gritted my teeth and threw my self out of bed and immediately fell to my knees in pain.
After a quick thought of what would reddit say I threw on some clothes, chewed a couple of mints, meandered slowly to the landline and called a taxi to take me to hospital and gingerly walked outside like a 1950's sci-fi robot, being completely unable to move my upper body for fear of excruciating pain. After 3 hours of ridiculous pain and tedium I was seen by a doctor and was given some codeine, ibuprofen & paracetamol and told its gonna get worse before it gets better and essentially to suck it up.
It's 18 hours from the even and I still can't move my head in any meaningful fashion. Today was not a good day. | Woke up, sat up, ripped neck from the inside, pain like a broken bone :/ |
t3_2319jz | legaladvice | Michigan - Juvenile MIP. Going to court alone, not sure what to expect. | Hello reddit. A few months ago my (non-legal) guardian and I had a minor verbal altercation, which led to her calling the police. When the officer arrived she brought out a bag of marijuana (approx. 1/4 oz.), a gram of wax, about 7 pieces of cannabis-laced hard candy, a hefty jar of kief, and several small (used) pipes that she had confiscated about a from me about a year ago. The officer wrote a ticket, but I never saw it as my guardian held onto it tightly.
Well, I'm finally going to be seen in court (I was admitted to a psych. hospital for about 3 weeks, thus delaying the date). My legal status is homeless, and the guidance counselor at my school will be taking me. To the best of my knowledge, I will be the solely representing myself.
I'm just curious as to what I should expect with sentencing, the formality, and the whole procedure. I know the basics, I'm wearing appropriate clothes, covering my tattoos and piercings. But what else do I need to know before I go in?
Thank you for your time! | Going to court as a minor with first misdemeanor. What should I expect? What will happen? |
t3_2vtjsn | tifu | TIFU by drugging myself | I've been under the weather recently with a stomach virus so my brother gave me a Flexeril to help me sleep. The previous night was horrendous so I figured an aide was necessary. For most people this would be great, but it also happened to be the night I was On Call for my job, facility management for dentist offices. What I missed was an emergency call for a board up of a broken window.
This morning I confirmed with my boss neither of us got a call about this and blamed the answering service for not calling. They just responded saying they talked to me and I checked my phone, 43 second call in the middle of the night.
I'm still waiting for them to send the recording and figure out what the heck happened... | Sleep talking is fun! But not when you're working. |
t3_2qi6k0 | offmychest | Nothing ever seems good enough. | No matter how many times I go through writing this, I can't write it in a paragraph format. I'm going to just list every /single/ issue bothering me right now.
For background knowledge, I am a high school student who actually **has dreams** and **has aspirations** for life. I'm very convinced that if I don't accomplish nearly half of the things in my life, that it's meaningless and therefore - useless. I can't live without some sort of remote form of meaning and feeling of success in my life.
So here it goes:
* Everyone around me appears to get credit for things that seem absolutely obsolete. No one wants to recognize anything I do as "good." Whether that be a part of my creative work, my personality, my contributions to others, and more.
* I can't keep one GOOD friend for anymore than six months. They all fade away into oblivion after that, becoming just as irrelevant as they were when they were strangers.
* People [my friends] BS their way through our relationships, offering only positive remarks -- nothing constructive to my personality or my work. It drives me flipping insane that people can't just be direct or honest with me.
* It seems that despite the fact I'm progressing creatively, I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. I don't feel any better, I feel like i'm running out of time to make something good so that I can ultimately make it into some art school and study film or digital media or something. /something/ /something/ /SOMETHING/
* In a similar way, I feel that no matter how hard i'm trying to progress, i'm not going to succeed and get into the colleges I want to go to.
* Even good things aren't enough for me ever. People tell me that i'm doing well and I refuse to believe what they say.
basically the background information, except in a new form (3rd person | ): High school teenager has big dreams that seem nearly impossible, and though I try to keep positive, it's very difficult; takes everything personally, has no good friends, everyone attempts to use him as temporary entertainment then ignores him the rest of the time [and he's caught on and he's tired of the BS, but has to decide if he wants to be /alone/ or wants to keep playing the part.] |
t3_1wvvsy | relationships | Me [M] with my gf[F] for almost one year, but friends for a long time beforehand, both in college. Issues about clubbing | edit: both parties are 24
Ever since we got together as a couple she's not gone to any night out at clubs even though she used to. When opportunities came up before, we talked about it, and she ended up not going to those and I feel like I'm being too controlling even though she says she's ok with not going, but if she goes I'll also feel uncomfortable. I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. When I think about this I think about how she used to go while getting drunk and that's how she used to like the attention from strangers, and also she's gone clubbing with ex's and I guess I don't really want to think about it because I don't want to think about the stuff that goes on there and I'm not a fan of clubbing?
I have no idea why I'm jealous(?) of the past but I always think about this, how do you guys deal with this? | gf likes clubbing, how do I deal with it? |
t3_1kl6d1 | relationships | Ex [23F] is is in a relationship with the guy [25M] she cheated on me [22M] with. | I recently made a visit to the town (where my ex goes to school) to see a friend. When I was looking for a parking spot, I saw her walking hand in hand with the guy with whom she cheated on me a month ago (he goes to school 2 hours away). They saw me too. I didn't stop. I pulled over eventually and texted her (breaking NC) and said that we needed to talk. She admitted that they were in a relationship now.
I just need some support. I feel like an absolute piece of shit: she cheated, told me, and then immediately hopped into bed with the guy. I mean, should I be mad? I invested a year and a half of my life into a relationship with this woman, only for this to happen. I know that this subreddit will say she can do whatever she wants, since she broke up with me after the first time, but she is clearly taking him out and introducing him to her friends as her boyfriend, only a month after ending things with me (because of what she did with him). Isn't that at least a little bit morally repulsive? I really want her to hurt for what she did, but she clearly isn't, since she has him to turn to for this repulsive physical comfort. | Saw ex with guy she cheated with a month ago; she saw me too. She admitted they're now dating. Need any kind of support /r/relationships is willing to give. |
t3_4ak2fy | relationships | Boss (52M) told me (34M) he was going to let go a close colleague (32M). We've worked together over a decade. | Throwaway account since I reddit, he reddits, we all reddit.
Gained a new boss in the last few months, and in some ways, it's been a good change for me. My colleague, Mike (32M), has never been good with upper-management. He's a workhorse, but has a hard time communicating with others and mostly leads a sheltered existence. He's liked, and we're friendly, but I wouldn't really say we're friends, but I do care about him and have looked out for him in the past.
My new boss lets me know that he's thinking of changing things, and Mike would be impacted with me taking over. I didn't disagree with the new approach, but did volunteer an alternative that would keep Mike within the fold. I want to stress this again to my boss as there may be other departments or places that can use his skill set. He's an asset, not a liability.
On one hand, it's business and makes sense to those evil gods. But on the other, it's not right to the man who has worked tirelessly for the company and has a family as well. If I warn him, he could react in a way that jeopardizes my future at the company (he has lashed out in the past). I've known and had to let friends I've hired go before, it absolutely sucks but this feels different.
I'm thinking of speaking to my boss about other scenarios and to stress his value to the organization. Possibly to HR, but to others that have had similar situations, what worked for you? I don't think I can just internalize and wait weeks/months for the axe to fall. | Found out my work colleague's position is in jeopardy, what I can do to protect him or warn him. |
t3_belph | AskReddit | Computer help would be appreciated | Hey Reddit, I'll give you a tiny backstory, and then my problem.
So basically yesterday I finally got internet at my new place, so I hop on Reddit, then after about 10 minutes of browsing, I have a power outage, I wasn't sure if it was an actual power outage, or the power company shutting us off, because the hydro wasn't in our name yet (again just moved in) and they needed some money from us, that we couldn't pay right away, but it turned out to just be a normal power outage, so it wasn't so bad, but then I go to turn my computer back on, and windows won't boot, just sits at the windows loading screen, so I think HDD might be shot, attempt to boot Ubuntu, and get errorno =-16 and something about ATA failure, so I'm almost positive it's the mobo, so I'm just wondering if anybody knows a cheap way to solve this, as I can't really afford a new motherboard for a while. Thanks for any help
Additional info:
I had a pretty good surge bar on it, not monster power or anything, but a good quality one
Computer specs
* Mobo: ASUS M2NE
* CPU: AMD x6400 x2
* RAM: 2x 2Gb 1066 MHz Kingston
* GPU: GeForce 8800 GTX
* | got internet check reddit, power die, computer no start, help plox? |
t3_2snsta | relationships | Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] dating 3 years, worried she wants to leave me. | Hey everyone, this is my first post and and hoping to find another perspective on my situation.
As mentioned in the title, I have been with my girlfriend now for close to 3 years now. We have been living together with another roommate for the last year or so and also have a dog together. I just finished my last semester of college and found myself a full time job and she still has 1 year of school left.
Throughout our relationship we have had minor qualms with things that bothered us but have always worked on improving the relationship. The biggest problems she says I do is I will spend too much time on my computer when we are together, and is something I am working on. I feel like she doesn't reciprocate the same amount of love and affection I show towards her, and that is something she is working on.
This last month she said she wanted to move out and find somewhere else to live as she feels we treat each other better when we spend time apart. I can agree on that but I feel that if she were to leave, we would eventually lead to breaking up. I have also been jealous of an ex boyfriend of hers that she text quite often. They have been long time friends and I believe her when she says nothing is there, but in my gut I do worry she is wishing she was with him.
Hopefully the information I provided makes sense and draws a decent picture of our relationship.
My question is what can I do to make sure this relationship grows and becomes stronger as I really would like to be with this lady? I am at work right now but can check back every so often if people have questions. | Been in a happy relationship for the last 3 years but recently have hit some bumps and feel like it will end if something isn't done, what can I do to keep our relationship strong? |
t3_2ki84c | relationships | Me [16 M] with my crush [16 F] since the beginning of the school year, I had a field trip to the Orioles stadium with my class which my crush is in and I didn't talk to her please help!! | Well so I got my crush number about 2 weeks ago but her phone was not on but now it is. So on friday we chit chat and I said hey its me ______ the shy guy you gave your number too. And she said "lol and sure we can be friends" I didn't know if I messed it up because I told her do lets just be friends which I maybe messed up with. But I really like her. So after I texted her during the weekend and we just chit chatted about stuff. So today we had A field trip and I barely talked to her because I was super nervous even though she was alone by herself and it was the perfect time to talk to her which I am still beating myself up about right now.
Even I was walking with my friend because before the tour of the baseball stadium we went to a college fair. Anyway she was walking with her friend but I guess her friend stopped to get more info about a college so she started walking with us. The problem was that I didn't talk to her at all even though my friend knows that I like her and he was giving me signals to talk to her but I chickened out. Literally the only thing I said to her was she asked a bunch of people what time it was that we had to meet our teacher and I responded 11:30.
After the field trip when we arrived at school she usually sits across the room from me but someone was sitting in her seat so she sat at my table. Me being stupid I sat right there not saying nothing -_-. And its not like she is a mean girl she is really nice s=and she has a bubbly personality. I just don't know what I should say something to her regarding today and me not talking to her. BTW is asking her if I can walk her to class a good idea. | there is a girl I really like that I started texting Friday and I said that "we should just be friends because I am to awkward" (I know it sounds so stupid). we texted both Friday and Saturday. We had a field trip together and I barley talked to her today because I was super nervous. But I talked to all my friends on the field trip and we kinda talk to the same people. Should I say something to her regarding not talking to her today and is asking her if I can walk to her to 2nd period a good idea? |
t3_s9hdn | relationships | Feeling kind of insecure without close, meaningful friendships. What can I do? | Okay, I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'm using a throwaway because my SO knows my main account.
Currently I'm (F 21) visiting my boyfriend's (M 21) family after about a year of us being together.
I guess the "problem" that I'm feeling is that I'm a little insecure about my own family relationships, and the lack of meaningful friendships that I have. I don't really have any close friends that I talk to. Heck, I don't think I've talked to anyone besides my close family for *months*..
So, I'm just feeling insecure. I'm being surrounded by my SO's family, who are amazing people, and I'm getting to see a new side of my SO's life, basically.. and it just doesn't compare to the closeness and richness that I have with the people in my life with my close relationships. :/ And I feel kind of bad because I feel like I don't measure up to the person that my SO should really be with.. by that, I mean I don't feel like the confident person that I really am deep down, so I don't really see how much I mean to him, and how I'm good for him. Even though I know my SO really loves me.. he shows me that every single day. I've talked to him before about my feelings, and he's just shocked and in disbelief that I could ever think that. But, I mean, if I don't have the close relationships in my life besides *him*, how *could* I feel secure with myself? I don't know..
Please help. What can I do? Am I just not secure with myself, and that's a whole new issue that I should work on? Am I putting too much emphasis on having friends because I need to feel validated? God, I don't know.. I just feel like I'm missing something. I'm a happy person I think, I just get down on myself because I don't have more people in my life to share my happiness with.. | Feeling like I'm lacking a vital part of an enjoyable life without close friends. Insecure because of it, and don't want to ruin me and my SO's relationship by not having as much confidence without close, meaningful friendships |
t3_knbfv | relationships | Am I in a long distance relationship/in a relationship at all? | Here is the deal, M (24) me, and F (20). We began dating 3-4 months before she left to go back to school at the beginning of August. We had a discussion as to what we wanted to do. I told her I know how college works and that we can try to stay in touch as much as possible or we can take a break if she didn't want the baggage of a faraway boyfriend while in college.
Her response was "We should probably get rid of the labels." So I rolled with it, said I agreed. I'm completely open to whatever she wants because she is the one going back to school, not me.
Needless to say, she is back at school in August, and we text a lot, chat on the phone once or twice a week. Then she says I don't call enough, so I begin calling her more. She either doesn't answer or is too busy when she does and can't talk. She begins getting more frustrated with me saying I'm not putting forth enough effort to keep in touch and that she'd like me to "check in every now and then" more often, her words in quotes btw.
So the real rub is here. After taking some of this flak, I remind myself that she said she wanted to "ditch the labels" when she went back to school, meanwhile I am most likely going above and beyond the call of duty for someone who I'm probably not even dating. So I ask her what we meant by ditching the labels and she gives some vague answer that doesn't answer anything at all. I ask her again about a week later and her first response was "Baby are you drinking?". I responded no, because I wasn't. I asked her again and she said she is really busy with rush and can't talk right now.
So that is where I'm at. I've basically answered the question for myself: If you can't talk about a relationship/your relationship, then you aren't in a relationship. | My GF? said she wanted to "ditch the labels" when she went back to school, heads back to school, proceeds to increasingly say I don't keep in touch enough, believe me I do/did. I get confused and ask to clarify what we meant by ditching the labels, TWICE. She dodges the question both times. What is up? |
t3_3v755z | tifu | TIFU by making toast. | This happened 2 nights ago, I'd just come back from the gym and decided to make some toast as you do. Got everything out, bread, butter, toaster etc. Went to turn the toaster on and there was a spark inside it, all the electrics went off in the house, didn't think too much of it, went to the 'box' and flipped the switch that had dropped and everything came back on.
About 5 minutes later I got a text from my sisters boyfriend asking me what happened, I couldn't think of any conceivable reason of how he found out about this small mishap, he then facetimed me and proceeded to shout out me for ruining his "big moment". At this point I started to try and think of what he was on about, it the dawned on me that my sister has been entertaining the idea that he was gonna propose to her, since he's out travelling in the South of France he was going to do it via Skype or facetime or whatever, I was unaware of this.
Apparently he was mid-sentence when the power went off, and because she was using the wifi, the connection dropped, and he wasn't able to finish asking her, so now I've got to live with the fact that I potentially ruined one of the happiest moments of her life just because I wanted some toast. | went to make toast, ruined my sisters boyfriends proposal. |
t3_2ffdom | relationships | Years ago, I [22F] was abusive to my boyfriend [23M] of 4 years. I went to counseling, got my life under control, and things have been perfect for 3 years now... but the guilt is KILLING me. | Ugh, just writing this hurts my stomach.
For a period of about 3 months in the first year of our relationship, I was an abusive girlfriend. I was grieving, and an angry person, and I verbally abused him. I said things just to hurt his feelings because I was so bitter about my own life.
I started therapy when I realized it. It killed me to realize what I was doing to the man I love. 3 years later, I am still in therapy, but my issues with my emotions and temper and general abuse are essentially completely gone.
Our relationship has been wonderful after I brought my mind back into balance. We love each other, support each other, and there is talk of engagement. I truly love this person with all my heart. There is no abuse. We argue in a healthy manner now. Communicate.
The guilt of how I was to him for that period just absolutely fucking kills me. I made him cry once just because I was upset over my life falling apart when my best friend died and completely, irrationally took it out on him. I couldn't stop saying mean things.
This was the incident that made me wake up. I hated myself for a long time for what I did to him. Now I just feel awful guilt when I think about how I made him cry. When I started therapy, he told me that he loved me more than ever because I immediately started to try to fix the problem once I saw it, and that he was so very proud of me. I have apologized and treated him like a king for 3 years, but the guilt is still ripping me apart.
I just need some advice on how to get over this. Should I even be with him, since I was so awful to him before?
Thanks. | I was really verbally abusive to my boyfriend towards the beginning of our relationship. Went to therapy for it. Stabilized my life. We have been blissfully happy for 3 years, but I still have crushing guilt for the things I did to him. |
t3_3kiju6 | relationships | Me [22F] with my BF[23 M] of four months, how to transition into a long distance relationship | In a week from now I will be moving about an hour and a half to two hours drive away from my boyfriend of four months. We are both be starting at our new colleges two weeks from now. He will be attending a local community college and not living on campus and I will be in an apartment with three other people one of which will be sharing a small bedroom with me. Our current plan is to visit one another every week while alternating who visits who.
We both play an online game with a group of friends so it will be easy to maintain contact during the week over Skype and we both have cellphone and can text. The only issue is whether my roommates will be ok with him staying the night on some weekends. I'd completely understand if any of them were uncomfortable having a man stay the night in their apartment especially considering the lack of our own bedrooms. I fear we wont get to see one another very much if he isn't able to spend some nights at my place. Considering our situation, what are some techniques used to keep long distance relationships going? I've never been in a long distance relationship before so I'm not entirely sure how living with distance between us can change the dynamic. I'm very committed to the relationship and willing to give it my all. Despite that we have only been together for four months we have spent a large portion of our time together so it will be odd to suddenly not be in each others presence. | In a week from now I will be moving about an hour and a half to two hours drive away from my boyfriend of four months. How do I transition into a long distance relationship? |
t3_45atp4 | relationships | my [23F] boyfriend's [26M, 1 year] family is judgmental about where I'm from and I don't want them to visit my hometown because I know it'll give them more ammunition to tease me | me: 23F, boyfriend: 26M, together 1 year
My family is from a small state that is made fun of a lot in the media for being poor, unhealthy, uneducated, and all-around trashy. Do I think this is true? Absolutely not. It is beautiful, the people are friendly, and overall I had a great experience growing up there. My parents are both physicians and we are Catholic but not particularly religious.
My boyfriend's family is from a lower-middle class Jewish suburb of a VERY large Canadian city. They think *the city they live in is the best city in the world and everywhere else sucks. Americans are fat, racist hicks. People who aren't from cities are classless.* It's like the only places in America them deem "worthy" are New York, Miami, and LA, where they have relatives. They constantly make jabs about my background or mock the accents of people from my state, but they've never even been there!
As my boyfriend and I are getting more serious, I know they'll probably want to come to my hometown to meet my parents and see where I'm from, but I'm hesitant to allow that to happen, because I feel like it'll just give them even more ammunition to be judgmental and hurtful.
What should I do? | boyfriend's parents are judgmental about where I'm from, I don't want them to visit |
t3_3uuamw | relationships | Men(16M) looking for advice on first relationship, and how to express feelings | Hey /r/Relationships I've been having casual conversation for a while now with a girl that I really like. I have been working up the courage to tell her how I feel for a while now, but I am afraid that it will come across awkward.
I never felt afraid of being rejected however I do fell anxiety when I think about asking her out, I've always considered myself and outspoken person and someone who Is used to talking with girls on a friendship level. However I seem to have a mental block when It comes to talking with this girl.
I should also say that because of my age some people will think I'm just interested in her for sex, which maybe partly true, but I don't see it as that. I see a lot of people around my age who appear to just be "going out" together because they can, like you would expect normal teenagers to do. However I view her as some one who I can trust and lean on, I think it also comes from a wanting for someone who likes me other than my family. | Any advice on how to open up to her and how to handle these feelings or any general advice you can come up with it would be greatly appreciated. |
t3_1ujxml | relationships | Waiting on my [F25] FWB [M23] to text me back so I can come over... should I cancel? | Using a throwaway.
I apologize in advance because I realize how stupid and trivial this question may sound.
I'm waiting on a FWB to text me back (I texted him around 10 this morning) and he STILL has not texted me back. It's been three hours. Who doesn't look at their phone for three hours? No one. I can't tell if hes avoiding me or is simply just doing something else. I am extremely horny and in need to get laid which is why I feel like I'm putting up with this.
To clear it up, we've had some issues in the past where he's ignored me after I told him I wanted something more out of our relationship. He simply stopped talking to me.
Why am I still sleeping with this guy? I don't know. I really (REALLY) like him.
Should I tell him that maybe we should meet another time because he's possibly ignoring me? | I am trying to hook up with a FWB. I text him this morning. He still hasn't texted me back even though we've been talking about dying to see each other for the past two weeks. Should I tell him another time or keep waiting on him? |
t3_22dzs3 | relationships | Me [24M] with my GF [23F] few months, she feels she may be asexual/heteroromantic and I am not. Looking for input from asexuals/heteroromantics. | I've been seeing a girl for a few months, met online, really hit it off. She's never been in a relationship before, nor has she had sex. She is on antidepressants and is in therapy, has some emotional issues. She's been 100% open with me about everything,
We've fooled around a little in the past, but she told me she wanted to take things slow so we haven't done much. Which is fine, I like her a lot and dont mind waiting.
Last night we had a chat and she told me that she thinks she may be asexual. She enjoys cuddling and kissing to some extent and says that she has feelings for me. She's also said that the idea of sex makes her very anxious. She isn't sure if she's ever going to be interested in sex.
So our conversation led to whether or not we should be dating, given that there may be a possibility sex may never happen. I really like this girl and I'm considering staying in it. But the possibility that it would only ever be a romantic relationship is difficult to come to terms with.
I'm not an overly sexual guy, but I do enjoy sex and sexual intimacy and see it as part of a relationship that i'd like to have.
So to the aces/heteroromantics or people who used to identify as such out there, did any of you think you were asexual and then came to realize that maybe you weren't?
Have any of you been in a relationship with a heteroromantic? How did it work out? | Seeing a girl who is anxious about sexuality, thinks she may be asexual, looking for input from people in similar situations. |
t3_3oigft | relationships | 21 F, my ex [21 M] cheated on me 2 days into relationship after 4 months of casual dating, now wants to make it right but doesn't want me in his life | This is my first post ever so sorry if it's not up to par...
I met this guy over the summer, I thought things were going really well. We clicked instantly, he was crazy about me and I was crazy about him but he was always hesitant about being exclusive. We finally decided to be exclusive and he cheated on me 2 days later. At first I wanted nothing to do with him and he wanted to still stay friends while he "fixed himself". Now, a week later, after we spent two days together that I thought were great, he said he has no feelings for me and doesn't want me in his life.
He wants to "make it right" for treating me so terribly and being an asshole but I don't know what will make it right. Is there anything that people have done in the past that gives them closure? The only thing I can think that would make it right is to date me but he doesn't want that and I don't really either. | Started dating, he cheated after 2 days, now wants to make it up to me but doesn't want me in his life |
t3_1rd2k2 | Advice | Looking for some help balancing my goals. | I'm looking for any sort of advice people want to give for balancing numerous goals that I have for myself. I have relatively poor self-motivation issues but I think I've found ways to combat those; on top of that I constantly find myself overwhelmed with my own personal desires.
Just a little background. I've recently started graduate school so that is the main focus of my time but on top of that there are so many other things that I want to do. For example, I want to learn a third language, the piano, workout regularly, on top a a smattering of other things that I want to try.
I'm just looking for advice on how to balance everything I want for myself. And just for the record, these aren't life goals or bucket list things, these are things that I want to be actively working on now. My issue I guess is I don't feel like there is enough time in a day or a week to do half the things I want to do. I tell myself just to let the things go and to come back to them when I have more time, but I'm 26 and I don't want to wait any longer to make many of these things a part of my life. Sorry if this isn't clear, I didn't really know how to get my question across well. | I have a lot of things I want to do and not enough time to do them. |
t3_508y06 | relationships | Friend [25M] of 10+ years, who was the best man at our [26F] [26M] wedding, owes us money. I don't know how to proceed with the friendship. | Last year our friend [25M], let's call him Shane, was living in a bad situation. I don't want to go into the details but trust me when I say it was necessary for him to leave. Unfortunately he had a maxed out card, and not enough for the first month/deposit.
My husband and I agreed to help him out by loaning him a substantial amount of money to cover the credit card debt and deposit. We knew he previously borrowed money from other friends, but he ALWAYS paid them back.
I figured it would be a couple of months before he started paying us back since he needed time to settle in. However instead of starting to pay us back, he went and bought himself an apple watch. I gave him a pass on it because I figured it had been a while since he purchased something frivolous for himself.
When he finally started paying us back, six months later, it was in small amounts. I assumed it was all he could pay, until he went out and bought himself a $2K gaming computer. This is where my patience started wearing thin.
But it all came to a head this weekend when we found out he bought a brand new, loaded GTI. When he brought up doing this last month I called him out on how shitty it would look when he still owed us more than half of the loan. I know he realizes the truth in that statement because he's not telling people he got a new vehicle. He's just "letting people find out when they see it".
At this point I don't know if I'm angry or disappointed, but I do know our relationship won't be the same. How do I go from here? Do I act like nothing's wrong? Do I tell him that I expected more from a close friend, or do I just let him morph into an acquaintance?
He has promised to pay us back by year end, but I don't see how that's possible. | Friend borrowed money, and is no rush to pay it back because he keeps buying luxury items. |
t3_to60w | relationships | My wife asked for a divorce.... | So after two years of marriage she told she thinks its best for us. Here is the story.
I chose to do everything that I wanted to do and rarely did what she wanted. I spent more time with my friends than with my wife and taking out a lot of anger on her and ended up hurting her so badly that she says she doesn't love me anymore. We have talked and I have apologized a hundred times, told her I would change make it up. I wasn't always like this either. I know she is done. This has been the single biggest wake up call of my life and nothing I can do can make it better. She just wants to move on. I'm sad, hurting, lonely, guilty, angry. I've cried more than I care to admit in front of almost every person I know. I still want her to be happy and I feel so shitty. I don't what to do so please help me. Anything... | Im getting divorced and its the worst feeling ever |
t3_1c78p4 | AskReddit | How do I create the Star Wars opening crawl [UUUUrgent] | Hey reddit,
you are my last hope. My cousin celebrates her birthday this evening
and she is a huuuuuuge Star Wars fan. Last night we thought it would be really cool to make a personal opening crawl for her, so I went to good old google and did not think this should be much of a problem....
But it turns out every tool or link I found is either out of date or not online anymore. When I found the official "opening crawl creator" on the Star Wars Website I though "Yes, jackpot" but as it turns out it is down since several months ( ). I would REALLY appriciate your help! | Does any of you splendid people know of an easy (and fast) way to create the opening crawl of Star Wars with an own text? |
t3_mh5pn | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the most weirdest dream you have ever had? I'll start! | It started with me driving to the lake we usually go fishing in, we arrive (My brother and I), and we pushed the boat from shore.
So now were fishing and i get a nibble, it did'nt feel like it was a very big fish, but i pull it in anyway, gradually it feel's heavier and heavier, when it get's to the boat, it's so heavy i was afraid the line would break, but it doesn't, we pull the thing in, and it turns out to be my girlfriend, at this point i'm like WTF?!??!?!
So anyway, she alive and all, and the dream just cut's out, next thing i remember is, us running our ass'es off, being chased by a giant blob.
We end op in a random house, and we start having sex.
Then the dream cut's again and i'm being chased by an angry mob of people, then the dream cut's once again.
At this point i'm old, and on my deathbed yet i'm happy, then the heart moniter stops, and i'm dead. | Go fishing, Cought GF, Chased by blob, Sex in random house, Chased by mob, Deathbed... |
t3_16h8eh | relationships | Should I (19F) be concerned about my SO's (22M) drinking? | To put this as simply as possible, my SO is extremely experienced when it comes to sex. He's lost track of his partners because before he met me, he would go out every weekend and get blackout drunk and sleep with people. His guess would be around 20-25 people, whereas I've been with 3 partners including him. This past weekend he went out with a few friends and got blackout drunk for the first time since we started dating. The next morning, he woke up and said he didn't remember a thing. This really concerns me, and I think you know why. If he doesn't remember a thing, anything could have happened and I would never know.
Background info: We've been dating for about three months and things have been moving along very intensely and we're very much in love, but we're just waiting for the right time to say it.
Should I be concerned? I asked him repeatedly what happened that night and he kept saying he doesn't remember. I believe him, but I'm just not sure what else to think at this moment. How else can I handle this situation without seeming like a controlling bitch? | BF has a long past of one night stands whenever he gets drunk. He got drunk this past weekend and doesn't remember a thing. Should I be worried? What can I do? |
t3_1dkali | Advice | Advice on a pet situation, upset at losing cat :( | My best friend and I moved in with our room-mate about a year ago, and she stayed maybe for a month or two before essentially "moving in" with her boyfriend. She left her cat at the apartment and was still on the lease and paying rent, but she didn't take care of the cat and only bought food 3 times, and the rest of the time we took care of him. She once tried to take the cat to live with her boyfriend and her but brought the cat back saying he (the cat) wasn't happy.
We've expressed multiple times that we'd be happy to keep the cat permanently, we've grown attached to him after having him almost a year. She said she felt guilty but seemed to be leaning towards letting us keep him. A few months ago she officially went off the lease and we now have someone else living with us.
Her boyfriend and her recently got a puppy, and now they are moving and want the cat back. My current room mate and I are heart broken, and hate that we have to give the cat back when she has been so irresponsible with him in the past. We know we pretty much don't have a choice in the matter... we've asked for compensation for taking care of the cat so long but honestly I'd rather just keep the cat and tell her to f-off. | ex roomie essentially abandoned cat with us, now wants him back |
t3_1lcrjl | AskReddit | Why are the people of reddit so nice and what keeps this community so positive? (Just joined reddit a few months ago) | Honestly. I've been a member of so many online communities and this is the first where I've seen people be genuinely nice to eachother.
I read about this post today how this kid needed a graphing calculator after a professor belittled him in the front of the class for not having one and after a few minutes people were already in line to give them a spare of their own.
At least once a day I see a post like this in which someone offers help to a total stranger. If people were more like this in the real life... The world would be a much better place.
I'm so happy that I stumbled upon this website because it's now my homepage and I'm thoroughly addicted. | Reddit has restored my faith in humanity/the internet. |
t3_m2o9f | relationships | Everyone keeps telling me my boyfriend is a compulsive liar and ultimately a bad person. What do I do? | My boyfriend (18) and I (17) have been dating for about eight months now and I'm considering leaving him. He graduated recently and opted out of going to college to wait for me to graduate. He had been caught up in a lot of trouble with the teachers at school, and they have personally warned me to stop talking to him. I have been told that he is a compulsive liar and will lie about the most insignificant things. He is also very obnoxious and cannot keep a job. I don't know that I can trust him, and I'm beginning to wonder if I should break it off now before we get to college. So what should I do? Is he a bad seed? Ask me anything you need to know! | told by everyone that boyfriend is lying, cheating scum and that I should run now |
t3_1xfs6f | relationships | Me [29/M] with my wife [28/F]; married 2 years; marriage on the rocks... | It seems at this point that every weekend, we are fighting. We end up "taking space" from each other and have little to no interaction. She just left for her parent's house to contemplate next steps. I am not one to advocate divorce, but it seem that at this point, it may be on the table.
Our early on relationship was a whirlwind. We fell hard and fast and after six months, we were engaged. We had both dated other people and lived on our own in big cities, so we both knew what we did or did not want in a partner.
Shortly after our wedding, my wife's family suffered the loss of a family member to a chronic disease. Lots of stress originated from that situation, but after a year of mourning, things have settled down a bit.
I believe that the death brought about a bit of a spiritual awakening in my wife. I, on the other hand, am not religious at all. I have made it very clear from day one that I am not supportive of organized religion and would never want to send our future children to a religious school or to even take them to church unless they specifically asked.
As time goes on, I think that this may be one of the major sticking points between us.
Another sticking point has to do with my health. I suffered a traumatic injury to my spine a few years ago and have been working very hard to rehab it. Most of my activity levels are back to "normal", though I don't actively seek doing things where I could re-injure myself. I sense some resentment from my wife in this regard and even feel badgered or guilted sometimes because I am not "pushing myself" enough.
The icing on the cake is the relationship between my wife and my family. They've never gotten along and I constantly hear "these aren't the in-laws I imagined for myself".
I guess at this point, I am looking for some direction. Can all of these things be overcome? Or is the deck stacked so against us that we don't stand a chance? | Is the deck too stacked against us? |
t3_27m4j4 | tifu | TIFU by doing a salt water cleanse. | I am just trying to be a healthier me, with years of shoving beer and pizza down my pie hole and weighing in at a lofty 230lbs I decided it was finally time to take charge of my life and get into shape. I started walking, running, eating healthier and all that, but at about 200lbs I hit a brick wall and had trouble losing more weight.
I decided to try the Master Cleanse which is basically drinking lemonade all day. I figured it couldn't be that bad and honestly it wasnt, however your supposed to do a salt water cleanse with the diet. Okay sure, no problem. Two teaspoons of non iodized sea salt in 32 oz of water and chug that shit down. It wasnt easy but I did it.
Now, I have never in my life done something like this before and the website I was reading said in about 40 minutes I would have a "movement". I decided to pass the time in the shower because the salt water made me feel sick.
About half way through the shower my wife comes in and asks me if everything is okay. My stomach feels like it has expanded to the size of the sun and im feeling really gassy. I decided to siphon off a little pressure by ripping a good healthy fart.
Huge mistake, it wasnt a fart but more of a stream of liquid shit that splattered all over my bathtub. My wife who still happened to be in the bathroom opened the shower curtain before I could tell her no and her eyes widened in absolute horror.
So yea, if you dont believe me try this one for yourself, just dont try farting unless your planted on a seat.
For those who care, I did actually lose weight from all this, so its not all in vain. | I did a salt water cleanse and destroyed my shower in the process. |
t3_32leso | relationships | Me [25 M] with my fiancée [30F]. Wants to get rid of dogs and signed mortgage without my name. Update. | Hi reddit again,
I am listening to your advice and my friends advices. I talked to a counsellor and they did give me some advice on how to deal with this issue, and basically told me to either bring her to couples counselling or tell her that I don't want to be treated like a doormat. I do not know what the next steps I should do next though?
I plan to talk to my mother later tonight to prepare her for the worst outcome. I then plan to send my fiancée a text telling her to meet me at a Starbucks to have the talk. Or do you think it would be better to involve her parents too? Maybe her parents can see the abuse she subjected me to? | fiancée signs mortgage without my name on the form. Expects me to pay rent. And get rid of both her two dogs and my dog. Need advice on next step. |
t3_222rbp | dogs | Zyrtec? Claritin? Allergy help needed! | My dog has very, very frustrating allergies that we are continuously battling. We gone to the vet many times - I'm just looking into other things to try to help combat the issues.
She has definite food allergies, but after the process of elimination, we think this new allergy outbreak is environmental. (We recently moved to a new state).
We've tried Benadryl with her many times, and unfortunately it does not help her at all. I've heard some other people say the same thing, so I'm thinking about trying a different allergy med, such as Zyrtec or Claritin. I'm posting here in hopes of learning a bit more about these meds, because I've personally never tried them, and I always get a bit paranoid about using new meds with my girl.
A bit more info: My dog is 145 pounds, and her biggest allergy issue at the moment is constant hives, and a deteriorating coat condition. :/ (We're using special shampoos, supplements, etc to help her skin, so the hives are our biggest concern, at the moment) Thankfully she doesn't normally seem itchy. | Do you use Zyrtec or Claritin for your dog with allergies? Does it seem to work? Has anyone ever noticed a side effect? Any dosing advice would be helpful, as well! |
t3_13pij8 | relationship_advice | [30/M] Am I being immature or are these deal breakers? | Me [30/m] and my girlfriend [29/f] have been together for almost 2 years. We get along swimmingly for the most part, but there seems to be a couple of things I can't seem to let go of. Basically I'm trying to figure out if these are deal breakers or not.
1) In my opinion her pot smoking is a little out of control. First, I'm not saying she partakes once in awhile, I'd be okay with that. Hell I enjoy a glass of scotch every now and then. More like, she blazes up before 9:00 on Saturday mornings and, if I don't drag her out if the house, she spends most of the day / night smoking on and off while hanging around the house.
I've told her how much it bothers me and have simply asked her to abstain while I'm around. She got really emotional as to why she couldn't. (Pot helped her through a tough time in her life, it slows down her mind, healthier than booze, etc.) I don't think of myself as a prude, but is it unreasonable for me to ask her stop while I'm around?
2) To expand on #2, I'm not sure I want someone raising my future kids in an environment where the abuse of drugs is so easily accepted. I also believe that anyone can do anything they want, but exposing this to children just seems wrong. Pot is pretty open in her family, she actively smokes with her parents. Again, unreasonable or do I need to relax?
3) I know reddit is a safe haven for atheism, but I'm not one of those people. I believe there's something, I'm just not sure exactly what. My girlfriend is an atheist and I'm okay with that. What I have a problem with is her religion bashing. This last one just might have to work itself out.
So, am I being unreasonable in wanting my girlfriend to grow up a little? | is pot usage and views on religion deal breakers or am I being unreasonable? |
t3_5258nz | travel | Cheap European cities for October visit? | I thought I would never make one of these itinerary posts but here we are, I'm stuck.
My boyfriend and I have 3 weeks and a bit of cash to travel around Europe in October.
We'll probably spend the first five days in Berlin seeing friends, because flights from London (where we live) are dirt cheap. Boyfriend lived there for a while in 2014 but it's my first time so I'd be open to spending longer, if a strong case is made for doing so.
The rough plan is two other European cities after Berlin. Amsterdam is in the running, but we've both been there. We'd prefer somewhere cheap and unfamiliar (i.e. somewhere not-west). The thing is, everyone has good things to say about everywhere on the bloody continent. People have recommended Croatia, Poland, Prague, Budapest and Bucharest to us—and that is just personal recommendations, the Internet is full of them. We've also thought about maybe Athens + a Greek island (maybe Crete?).
If it matters: we're 21, and although we are very much on a 21ish budget (anticipate hostels, although small airbnb would be better), we are not really in the market for a 21ish holiday. I love to drink and boyfriend loves music (techno etc) but he's been sober for a year and we're looking for something more Dignified. We like wandering around on foot, sitting at (cheap) cafes, shopping, and an occasional dose of arts and culture. It would be great if the streets of this hypothetical place stayed lively after dark.
NB: definitely want at least one of these places to be REALLY, REALLY beautiful. Cobbled streets and balconies and so on. We wouldn't mind staying in a sleepier town if it's cheap, has some cafes, and is really beautiful. Because we are shallow.
Key factors:
- Pleasant in October (enough to spend most of the day outdoors)
- Not unavoidably touristy
- Cheap access from Berlin and/or London
- Cheap to have a nice time in
- Beauty!!!
We're very indecisive and all the options are killing us. Pls advise. | we'll probably spend a week in whatever European country you recommend most strongly, as long as it's cheap and beautiful. |
t3_mpvse | loseit | Please help comfort my Thanksgiving-addled mind | I love to cook, and I love Thanksgiving for that very reason. This year, though, I've been working to lose weight, but it's Thanksgiving! Can't not go all out, right? I did run in a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, and when I finished and weighed in, I saw 209, which is good. I checked again this morning: 217. That's bad.
I know that there's realistically no way that I gained eight pounds in two days, and am going down to hit the treadmill in a bit. But please, for the sake of my sanity, confirm to me that I didn't actually gain eight pounds? | Ate too much over last two days, scale says I gained eight pounds, please tell me it is a lying lie-faced liar. |
t3_4v9rdv | relationships | My girlfriend [24F] tells her friend [24M] everything before she tells me [31M]. | We've been dating for about a year now.
My girlfriend has this really good friend, Julian, who she has known for I guess 4-5 years now? Anyway, he's definitely her best friend. She has a lot of other friends, but they are closest and she values his opinion on things a lot.
Anyway, my problem is that I feel like they're too close. She tells him anything and everything before telling me. She's going home for a weekend to visit her parents? Julian knows before I do. Her childhood dog passed away? She's already cried on his shoulder before even telling me. Upset about being passed over for a promotion? She stops by at Julian's to talk it out before coming over to my place.
For a long time I thought she was really unemotional. Turns out she just lets all that stuff out to him first before coming to me. Every single problem she has is totally worked out before she even talks to me. I feel like I'm just being told as a formality because that's what you are supposed to do; tell your boyfriends things.
And I don't want that. I want to be the person she goes to for her problems. I want to be someone she can talk to about anything. I've told her she can tell me anything, and she says she knows, but then she goes to Julian anyway.
Am I being too needy? Am I out of line for thinking I should be the one she tells things to, not her "bff"? | Girlfriend tells her friend everything before even mentioning it to me. I want to be the one she goes to but don't know how to make that happen. |
t3_2licsu | tifu | TIFU by sitting on Trombone and blamed it on Stacy | This actually happened around 6 years ago, but it still makes me laugh/cringe to this day.
Anyways, when I was in grade 6, we were required to learn an instrument for band. Since I always liked the trombone for some reason, i decided to pick the trombone... The day after I got my new Yamaha trombone I decided I was going to get ahead and try to play a few notes. After trying to play a few notes and making some god-awful sounds, I gave up. Left the room and made the mistake of leaving it out on the floor, Here is the Fuck up as I was walking back into the room, and because I was not paying close attention I tripped and proceeded to land my ass on the bell of the Trombone (I was clumsy as fuck). Got up realized that i squished my newly bought Trombone. The even worst part was that when my Dad saw me I kept insisting that some person named Stacy did it (still don't know a Stacy to this day). Now I get the occasional "What did Stacy do?" every time I break something... | Sat on Trombone, blamed it Stacy who I don't know. |
t3_3a5w6h | Advice | Losing sleep with my busy schedule, how do I manage all I need to do in one day? | To make this short, I am losing sleep with how busy my daily schedule has become. I am an apprentice electrician who has school for one week about every 8 weeks, but I have a lot of homework that needs to be done before the school week starts. On top of that I am going to college to get my associates degree on the side (end result looking for electrical engineering). Anyways, I have a deal going with someone that they'll pay for me to complete my general associates in two semesters (meaning I'm taking 3 classes over the summer and 4 over the fall). Of course I can't pass up this opportunity, however I am only 1 week into my college class and I am super stressed and losing sleep. My typical day looks like this:
wake up around 6am
work 7am-330pm
get home around 4pm (then I shower and what not since I work construction)
leave for class at 515pm
get home from class around 840pm
then I have to do all of my homework because I won't have time to do it before class the next day. Homework is due throughout the week so I can't wait for the weekend to complete it all.
this is my schedule monday - friday. the summer semester is shorter, meaning more work piled onto you.
I don't know how I'm going to get through it and work my 40 hrs a week which I need to. Also in my line of work and being an apprentice they can send me anywhere for work (could be 1-2 hours away) and I can't say no. It's not uncommon. But that cuts into sleep and time before class or even during class. If I say no, there's a chance I get kicked out of the program. I'm super stressed and don't know how to manage this. I slacked off in high school a lot and don't want to repeat it. I'm 20 years old. I eventually want to be an engineer but feel obtaining my electrician license would be a valuable thing to have. Any advice from people who have experienced a similar situation would be great. thank you. | losing sleep due to busy schedule, don't know how to fit homework into my days since most of my days are spent in class or at work. |
t3_1f5cr8 | relationships | My [23M] friend/roommate's [24M] girlfriend [25F] is over all the time and brings her kids a lot of the time | I bought a house and had 3 of my friends move in and they all pay me rent to live there. I left last July for work and came back in February to the house being ok overall. That's when I first met my friend's girlfriend and though the other roommates had mentioned how much she was over and with her kids, she wasn't over a lot at first. Since I've been home she slowly started staying over more and bringing her kids over once in awhile. At this point she pretty much lives here with one of her kids and the other one comes over occasionally (different dads). We're all in our 20s and we all want nothing to do with her kids who are annoying and misbehaved. I'm pretty laid back and easy going, but I've had it with the situation. What do I do? Should I start charging her rent? Should I tell her shes only allowed to sleep over like two nights a week? Should I tell her I don't want her kids over here? She is a nice person, we're friends, and she is in a tough spot financially/family wise. | My friend's girlfriend pretty much lives at my house rent free with one of her two kids and I don't like the situation. What should I do? |
t3_4v7h0a | relationships | Me [20 F] with my ___ [20 M] am feeling confused about my sexuality should I mention it to my boyfriend? | Hey reddit!
Not sure if this the right thread to post in so apologises if it isn't!
Since a young teen, I have always developed crushes on boys and have always identified as straight. I know sexuality can be fluid etc but I have always fancied boys and even after being at an all girls school for most of my education, I've never had feelings for any there or any other females.
I'm at university now and a few people have asked if I'm gay/bi due to often wearing a jeans t-shirt doc martins look and rarely dresses or skirts except on a night out (surely thats not the best way to decide if you think a girl is bi/gay..) I've found myself often thinking a girl is pretty but I thought it was more in a 'I wish I looked like them way' and not in a romantic/sexual way. I've never had any sexual experience with a girl except kissing my friend as a dare and when that happened, I felt nothing compared to when I've kissed boys.
I found myself developing crushes on various boys I met and eventually I met my now boyfriend who is a lovely guy who I find very attractive. Anyway, recently, I've been finding I also am turned on by pictures of girls but I cant imagine myself in a romantic relationship with a girl and only see myself with a boy. My boyfriend and I are very monogamous and have only discussed open relationships and threesomes as a way of talking about what we wouldn't do in a relationship and I'm very happy with that as they don't appeal to me.
Anyway,I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend I'm turned on by girls as well and so could possibly be bi or because if I was bisexual, I would be mostly into guys anyway, it doesn't matter? I am not planning on doing it anytime soon as I'm still confused and don't know for sure so don't want to rush into anything!
Thanks! | have started feeling confused about my sexuality should I mention it to my boyfriend? |
t3_2wk4py | relationships | Me [22 M] with my [22F] Fiance and best friend of 2 years, just ended things, 4 months from the day we were getting married. | Okay, so I haven't posted on reddit in a long time, but have been a constant lurker. As the title says, me and my fiance just ended things last night. It hurts. We had so many good times, amazing times. Fun, laughs, and we got each other. To have a person who so genuinely cared about me was something I had never experienced before, and I will always be grateful to her for that. But wow this is hard. We mutually agreed that we had to end it, which helped a little bit initially. The reasons behind this decision were that we wanted different things in life. She is going to Grad school next year, and after she is done with that she wanted to buy a house and start a family. I am a bit more of a free spirit, and wanted to travel, move around, and enjoy life. We had our issues beyond this, she was raised thinking she deserved the absolute best, and I tried to give it to her, but it was never enough. Still, a sweeter and kinder heart I have never met nor dreamed of. This morning I was deleting all of the pictures of us on my phone, and wow did that ever hurt. I broke down in tears, and am currently at work and can't stop thinking about it, actually tearing up right now just thinking about all of the great times. Reddit, just tell me it gets better. I know it will. But I need to hear it. I don't know, I feel like before I at least had one thing that was going to be constant, and that was her. And now, just nothing. I have never been a very emotional person, so this is hard. I just don't know what comes next. Any help or similar experiences you have would be a great help. And to all of you who are hurting, just know that you are not alone. | Broke up with my fiance and best friend of two years last night. Hurting a lot right now. |
t3_wf8pf | AskReddit | Reddit, i am very concerned and need some help in this sticky situation. please, any advice is welcome. | So my brother has been going out with his girlfriend for about 8-9 months and it is fairly serious. Their relationship is going well, but it's not really the main focus of this post. My real concern is his girlfriend. About a month ago she showed up to our house at around 11pm-12am. She had been violently beaten by her father, and she was kicked out of her house. She is a very hard working girl and holds 2 jobs currently. She is also attending her first year of university, to which she received an enormous scholarship, in the fall. When she showed up at our doorstep we immediately took her in, and she clued us into that she has been being beaten by her father for a while now. It had only just escalated to this new level. She couldn't take it anymore and called the police and filed a report. There hasn't been any action taken, and she is still living with us. She recently had to go retrieve some of her stuff from her house and she came back with a softball size welt spaning from her temple down her cheek. She really wants to get her father some help, but she isn't close to any of her other family and they are pretty much clueless to the beating or unwilling to get involved, despite living in the same town. She had her next door neighbor, a police officer, take a picture of her face to document her dad's punch(s). Her dad was so irrationally enraged that he called my house and threatened us to not let her stay with us any longer. He also started to go on about how she was 'lying' about the situation and she has a place to stay. He was just trying to get us to make her even more destitute. My question to you guys is that, Have you gone through this situation/ have experience with this stuff or any advice as to what we should do for her or do with the police? She doesn't want to ruin her father's life or tear her family apart either. She mainly wants to be safe and get her father the help that he needs. | My brother's girlfriend of about 9months is being abused so badly by her father that she was kicked out of her house and moved in with our family for the last month. What should we do to ameliorate our and her situation? |
t3_juvot | AskReddit | Advice sought on Foreign University Degrees | Hey /r/askreddit,
I live and work in the USA and I finished my undergrad in the states. Recently I came across what sounds like a very interesting program in in Ireland, University College of Dublin. My question is this; how do US employers look at a master's degree from a foreign country, in this case, Ireland? The degree program is an area of applied computer science that I am very much interested in. To top it off, it's relatively cheap compared to similar programs in the US.
I would apply tomorrow if I knew the degree carried some weight in US. However I am afraid it may just be an expensive vacation, which while extremely cool, would not help me career wise. Regardless, thank you for your insight. | Will US employers recognize a Master's degree from Ireland? |
t3_1lfxvm | pettyrevenge | Douche brother | So my brother has always been a bit of a dick so this one particular time we were hanging out in my room. I get up and say I'm gonna go make me some cup noodles and he says make me some. I tell him he can make his own and he say please don't be a dick. So me back if the good guy Greg that I am say fine fine I'll make you one. And we all know how these cup noodles take a maximum of like 10 minuets to be done. Well after about 4 minuets my brother my Scumbag brother starts to yell hurry up where's my soup, what's taking so long, you cook like a grandma. Now here I am being a nice brother and all and this d-bag is yelling at me so I want to get back input some peanut butter on his fork and let the dog clean it right of then stuck that fork in his soup! That'll show him! | made my dog lick my brothers fork and put it in his soup. |
t3_14ywiu | dating_advice | Should I (18M) still have asked how she felt? | Well I finished up my first semester at college and I wanted to get it off of a chest to tell a girl that I liked her before break. I came to decide this about with a week of school left and I got too eager and accidentally admitted it over FB which one should NEVER do, especially if you can easily see them in person. I didn't really ask how she felt about it all, and I assume this made it easier for a soft rejection. I felt like I assumed too much, and I just don't want to know what she would say because I am probably guessing it would of been a rejection. | I am pretty sure i got a soft rejection, but am still unsure and am wondering if I should of ask how she felt? |
t3_1raxel | dating_advice | thinking about a girl don't know how to approach | I met this girl from work. Shes super chill and nice to me. We always talk about cars and stuff we both like. I am starting to have feelings and I don't know what to do. She invited me to go out and eat with my other coworkers and gave me her phone number. We went out and had a great time, talked and everything. However she has a boyfriend, that she has been with for about two months. I want to tell her but I don't want to make a conflict with her and her boyfriend. She says her boyfriend always makes her upset and has problems. But I'm a respectful person who knows boundaries. What should I do about this? | I like my coworker, she has a boyfriend, her boyfriend is always fighting with her, what do I do? |
t3_21yfnu | relationships | Whats wrong with her? (18F) (22M) | Ive known this girl for about 9 months. we got to be pretty close friends. she was in a relationship the whole time that just ended after 11 months.
I never hanged out with her but we always talked about doing stuff together. she was afraid that if she hanged out with me her boyfriend would start hanging with girls. during this time she didnt hang out with any guys besides her male best friend a couple times.
after the breakup she was with her bestfriends every single day and still is (all girls and a couple male bestfriends).
its been three weeks since the breakup and shes been going to parties and having fun basically. being social.
Although during this time shes become really distant with me. two weeks after the breakup i asked her to see a movie and she gave me excuses. and i later found out she was hanging with her friends after she told me she was sick.
now that it has been 3 weeks shes sorta slowed down on going to parties and is just doing little things with the friends. is it possible that the breakup has hit her and was a delayed reaction? how should i go about asking her out again since shes become so distant? we use to talk almost everyday now im lucky to get a reply from her. its driving me nuts. | Girl broke up with boyfriend of 11 months 3 weeks ago. has been acting distant. ive known her for 9 months, use to talk all the time. shes been hanging with ehr girlfriends/male bestfriends nearly every day. |
t3_2ke35v | relationships | Me [21/f] am a virgin, thinking of just getting laid. Guys what do you think of virgins? | I had a boyfriend who I really liked, but he broke up with me because I am a naive virgin who had no sexual or relationship experience. The pressure was too much for him I guess. I also dated another guy and talked to some, and the idea of being a virgin was always more of a downfall they said.
I went on no-contact for a month with my first boyfriend, and just a few days ago I confessed I still wanted to lose my virginity to him. Which is very true, I never met a guy who I actually planned/dreamed of experiencing that with. But disappointingly he said he didn't want to hurt me again. Quote him, "You are beautiful and I'm flattered that you want to experience that with me, but I don't want to hurt you again."
So I am thinking he just doesn't want the pressure of being 'my first', because I know he is still single and isn't seeing anyone.
So guys...what do you think of virgins? Do you prefer someone experienced? If you dated a girl and found out she was a virgin would it scare you off? Also girls, have you had any bad experiences with dating and being a virgin?
I just feel really alone and miserable. | Guys, what do you think of virgins? Do you prefer someone experienced? If you dated a girl and found out she was a virgin would it scare you off? Also girls, have you had any bad experiences with dating and being a virgin? |
t3_ujo8l | AskReddit | Why do people find it necessary to be in a relationship e.g have a boyfriend/girlfriend? | I should probably start by saying that I have never been in a relationship and have little interest in being in one really. I find I am happy by myself and I am not a person who shows much physical affection to people, by this I mean hugging, holding hands, kissing people on the cheek. I just cant understand why people feel the need to be in relationships especially from young ages like 14 and 15. What do these relationships offer people? I am asking this question because of an answer I saw to the post what do you want most in the world right now to which someone replied their girlfriend. I couldn't understand why you would want to see/ be with another person so badly. For those who are interested I am a 23 year old female. | Why do people need/want to be in relationships? |
t3_16zn37 | relationships | My boyfriend is dependent on me and it's making me miserable (F 20, M 19) | F 20, M 19
We've been dating for 1 year, 3 months and have lived together for 8 months. We have a supportive relationship but he always needs me to be with him when he calls to make appointments (he "hates" the phone), needs me to help him figure out his timetable for college, needs me to mail things for him (because he "hates" it). It's driving me crazy. I know I should have spoken up sooner but it happened really gradually, and that's why I'm here now.
His mother used to do these things for him of course and we started dating shortly after we both moved away to school. I'm a pretty independent person for the most part, and am capable of taking care of my affairs on my own without parental help or issue.
Maybe it's just a matter of age or maturity, but I just find it exhausting and a little unsexy that he needs my help to schedule a meeting every single time. How do I delicately handle this situation? He's pretty sensitive and although he's getting on my nerves, he still has feeling and I love him. | Boyfriend is dependent on me for even little tasks like making a phone call because he "hates it", how do I tell him that I need him to start taking more responsibility for his life? |
t3_12qu6d | relationships | Suddenly feeling threatened in otherwise great relationship | My boyfriend and I (both 25, M/F, together 2 years) are a perfect example of opposites attract. He's a left-brain engineer, and I am a right-brained, anxious artist. We are both highly intelligent, we just have different skills and modes of thinking.
He recently started going to grad school for engineering, so he spends a lot of time on campus in the library working with his classmates on math and physics and things that I only have a very minimal understanding of (obviously). He never mentions or talks about the people he works with. Recently, at a party, I met one of his classmates who is a very attractive girl. She's cute, she's an engineer, and she too is at the library all the time.
I do trust my boyfriend wholeheartedly; however, I am aware that common interests and life experiences bring people closer together. He and I have common core values, but otherwise we are like night and day. Honestly, something about knowing that he is in the library with her all the time, working on projects, discussing their homework, etc. is really eating away at me.
How do I express this concern to my boyfriend in a fair and honest way? | BF and I are opposites. How do I tell him I feel threatened by his classmate who has more in common with him? |
t3_hh2e2 | AskReddit | Do you think you've knowingly done something dumber then this? I challenge you. | When I was in Uganda on a humanitarian aid mission I took a few days to go on Safari. After dinner one evening I stayed in the lounge a while by my self, when I went to make my way back to my lodging I decided to take a little detour around the area - mind you there is nothing between me and the wilds of the African savannah. I wanted to see how far I could push my self knowing the violent death that could be lurking behind every bush. It's when I came about 50 feet away from a hippo eating in the dark and it grunted at me that I decided it was time to get back. Turns out that hippo had been excommunicated from its group and wandered around the area at night grazing. After enquiring the next day I was told not to go near it, that it could run faster then an Olympic sprinter and was the most dangerous animal in Africa. | I wandered around the lodges of a Safari park in Africa at night and came across the most dangerous animal. |
t3_2bcwq9 | relationships | Me [21m] and a good friend of 2 years [23f] who I have feelings for, had drunken sex. What should I do? | The other night me and a good friend(who which I have feelings for) were hanging out in my apartment with some of our friends drinking. We had had alot to drink (me more than her) she came with me into my room and got in my bed with me and we put a movie on and she snuggled up real close.
(On multiple occasions she has gotten in the bed with me just to cuddle.)
She gets real close to me and then we start to make out and then we proceed to have sex, after a few minutes I was to drunk to do anything and we ended up passing out naked in bed. We wake up the next morning and she acts as if it were just another night like the rest and acts normal. Im not sure how to approach the situation, ive never really been great with women and im afraid that this could have hurt our friendship. What's some advice you could give me? | me and my crush who is a friend of 2 years had drunken sex and I dont know how to deal with the situation. |
t3_1aveeq | relationships | Boyfriend [24m] is depressed and doesn't go to school or work. I [27f] am at my wit's end. | We have been together for two years. I know for a fact he is depressed but I am starting to feel antsy about what a future together is going to look like. About a year ago, he transferred colleges to start a low-residency program in acting studies. He was supposed to start acting but social anxiety and depression have made it hard to get started and try out for plays.
Since January, he has not been in school anymore, but is trying to find a job. We split the rent (his family pays half and I pay half). I am sad about seeing him so sad all the time, and he used to go see a therapist, but he tends to ditch sessions and has an outstanding bill that he hasn't paid in a while. I keep looking at it on the kitchen table and stressing out about that.
The other problem is that earlier this month we had a big fight and he ended up buying takeout every day while I was away, thus spending all of his money before half the month was up (he gets a small amount of monthly cash until figuring out the next step from his parents). I no longer keep track of the things I have had to buy this month. He's going to get me back. I guess he just has no sense of having spent all this money and he is angry and blaming me for "making him so sad" that he spent all of his savings. He was just impulsive and depressed, and having done similar things in my early twenties (been a slow starter, being undecided, and occasionally done stupid and impulsive things, so I can definitely relate), but he problem is he now blames me for his depression during that period.
Reddit, what do I do? He is in this rut and I know it's temporary but I feel like we're going down a black hole together. I work, go to school, and freelance in my spare time. I love my boyfriend and he provides so much emotional support and love for me, but I can't shake this nagging feeling that I need to put my foot down to help him grow (or the opposite, get him to a shrink to get out of his depression?) | boyfriend won't work or study due to depression, and I want this to change both for his sake and mine as fast as possible |
t3_187q8t | relationship_advice | Experienced me [23/f] worries that inexperienced boyfriend [23/m] will seek more after time. | So I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months, and it has been near perfect. We have great chemistry, have so much in common, and are always having fun together. I have no doubts about the amazing quality of the relationship.
When we first started dating, the fooling around was going quite slow, and he finally admitted that he was a virgin. I was a bit apprehensive, but stuck with him obviously, because he is great. Somehow he was a natural :) I worry, though, that someday he will wonder what it's like to sleep with other girls. I have a lot of experience, so I'm less concerned because I know I thoroughly please him. I would ask him about this, as we have a really open and honest relationship, but I think it might be a little bit neurotic of me. I'm a very self-confident and optimistic person, but this crossed my mind and I can't get it out of my head.
Any men out there that have been in this place, and can lessen my worries? | I recently started dating a guy who had little relationship experience, I took his virginity, and despite the sex being great, I worry that eventually he will want to know what it's like to sleep with other women. |
t3_ydsoz | AskReddit | Are there other people like this out there? | I have always been told that I'm one of those special people since I was very young and didn't really understand that until I got older. I just want to say that I'm not one of those cocky people that just brags about everything they do in life, I'm just putting this out there and seeing who else is like this and their experiences in life.
Ever since I was young everything came somewhat easy to me. I was a straight A student all the way until college without an extreme amount of effort. I wasn't the best at all sports but was pretty good at which ever I played (baseball, basketball, football,golf,etc.) Even at a young age I was able to rationalize things and understand everyones point of view at a young age. I had many friends from all walks of life and still do. I could get along with anyone and enjoy everyones company and develope a bond with them. I really have no enemies and anyone that didn't like me always became a good friend after really getting to know me.
I take a lot of pride in my work and don't let obsticle stand in my way. I was once a fat kid and decided not to be anymore and changed my eating and exercising. I went from a shy kid to. A confident kid. I never had a problem talking to girls and had many close girlfriends. I treat my girlfriends like queens and am always understanding and helpful.
One thing I do is see the best in people and want to help them be the best at whatever they want to do because that is how I am with everything I do. I'm now the youngest candidate in my companies management program and was told by my mentor that I'm months ahead of everyone and will do amazing.
I want to know if there are other people that things have come to them pretty easily in life. I don't mean being well off as I was raised by a single mother and was very poor growing up. Please share your experience. | Everything came easy to me in life and never let any obsticle get in my way. See the best in people and think that everyone can succeed and want to help them. Always treat people like family and am understanding and caring. Didn't realize what teachers and mentors ment about me being one of those special people until now. Are other people like that as well? |
t3_2ophfx | jobs | How to ask Federal Interviewer about relocation/other location | I was called today for an interview for a job with the federal government (TSA) in San Diego, where I used to live. I applied to this job over 18 months ago and since then my S.O. got a great job (1 year in) and put down roots in Los Angeles, which is also my home town (family here, etc). Her current job makes more than twice as much as this position would and there's no way she would/could/should leave it.
When I applied for this position, I also applied for two locations in our current city. I have been unemployed (or soul-crushingly underemployed on and off) for the past 20 months since graduating college and my SO has been financially supporting us. A position with the TSA would be a stepping stone into my field and obviously the job hunt has not been going well in Los Angeles. This is the first *anything* related call I've gotten in months. How do I express to the interviewer that I'm honestly desperately eager to work in my field but it would be an emotional and financial hardship to do so from San Diego? How can I ask him to "apply" my interview to locations closer to home? Does anyone have experience with different locations for a government positions like this? Would it be easier/more feasible to transfer after toughing it out "in the system" for a couple months? | SO makes bank in Los Angeles, TSA interview in San Diego. How do I tell the interviewer I really want a position in Los Angeles, not San Diego (applied to both locations over a year ago)? |
t3_3i63tq | legaladvice | What if my mom stops paying her half of the mortgage? | Hi folks,
I was directed here from r/mortgages and r/personalfinance. When I was in my early twenties, I took out a 30-year fixed 4.0% mortgage to help my family buy our house. The mortgage is entirely in my name but the deed has both my name and my mom's name. For the past 10 years, I've been paying half of the monthly mortgage payment and my mom pays the other half. This is a verbal agreement we've had and she has been depositing her half of the monthly mortgage payments in my checking account for the last 10 years.
I was told by my accountant that I'm 100% entitled to the tax deduction from mortgage interest because the legal responsibility of the mortgage is entirely in my name.
My question is this: What if my mom stops paying her half of the mortgage? I could pay the monthly mortgage payment by myself for a while but I would be struggling if that happened.
What are my options? Can I sell the house if she doesn't pay her half? Can I sue her to get her half of the mortgage?
Am I just outright screwed? | My mom may withhold her half of the monthly mortgage payments from me. The mortgage is in my name but the house is in both of our names. We live in the house with my 2 younger brothers. Do I have recourse to take ownership of the house from her? What do I do? |
t3_2knpiq | relationships | I [20M] want to break up with GF [20F] of nearly three years, I'm studying abroad for 2 more months | So I'm a student currently studying abroad (2 months in, 2 more to go), and my GF of nearly three years is eagerly awaiting my return back home. Problem is, I'm pretty sure I want to break up with her. My feelings for her have changed over the months, and I'm pretty sure I'm not as invested in our relationship anymore as she is. I feel like over the past 3 years, I've changed a lot as a person (personality, desires, goals, maturity and general life attitude) while she has basically not changed at all since I knew her. Of course there is nothing wrong with that, but it has definitely affected my feelings for her and my desire to be with her in the future. I simply believe I do not love her anymore and these past 2 months of not seeing her have helped me realize that. I am just not as excited about skyping/keeping in touch with her as I would have thought.
The thing is, I don't know what to do. I feel like breaking up with her over Skype is terrible, and I would probably be marked as 'that guy that broke up over Skype' by a lot of people (mutual acquaintances, family). On the other hand, if I break up with her upon return (christmas), I will be the guy that broke up with her just after returning and not seeing her for 4 months... I would probably blamed for that as well. But waiting for some time after returning just to avoid this is also terrible, since I know I want out of this relationship anyways.
I just don't know what to do right now, it feels whatever I do, I will be regarded as an asshole. She can be quite emotional and radical so I'm not sure if we would be able to break up on good terms. | Want to break up with GF of 3 years, have been studying abroad and not seen her for 2 months, have another 2 months left before returning, don't know when or how to break up. |
t3_431wcz | relationships | I [25 F] am annoyed that I don't know where my bf [26 M] is | When my bf and I first started dating, he got mad at me because I didn't let him know I was going out while he was out of town, and didn't know until he saw my snap chat story.
I apologized and said I would make sure I communicated with him if I was going out in the future.
Fast forward to today, I have no idea where he is right now. He didn't tell me he was going out and he's not home, it's almost 11:30 pm. He snapped me that he was at some team building thing for his work earlier today but haven't heard from him at all, I texted him about an hour ago asking what his plans were tonight with no reply.
It's honestly pretty irritating that I've respected him by letting him know what my plans are but here I am worrying about him and I feel like I'm not getting that same respect back.
Am I overreacting? Do I have a right to be irritated by this? I don't even know what I should say to him when he comes home. | bf expects me to communicate my plans but I haven't heard from him all night and he's still not home |
t3_3rfnc8 | relationship_advice | When I (21 F) was in a relationship, he (21 M) liked me; now that I'm single, he has a girlfriend. | So, a couple years ago I met a guy who I was attracted to and he liked me as well but I had a boyfriend so I never told this guy I liked him or got his phone number. Anyways, it's about two years later and I'm now single. I run into this guy who I met in college and always used to study with. I was really happy to see him and he was happy to see me. He gave me a compliment about my outfit and I got his number. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him and I said yes. I thought it was a date but then found out he had a girlfriend.
I told him I thought it was a date and I liked him and he apologized. He said he's been with this girl for almost a year. We ended up hanging out anyways and he said he felt the same about me when I had a boyfriend. I feel really awkward and disappointed.
I feel guilty because I stayed with my ex instead of going for this guy and my ex ended up abusing me. Now that I'm single I thought I could finally date this guy who I liked in the beginning.
My question is, should I leave this guy alone and forget about it? I don't want to pursue anyone in a relationship and being friends with him seems hard since I like him. I don't think his girlfriend would be happy if he was friends with someone who had feelings for him. | the guy I like has a girlfriend now and when he liked me I was in a relationship. I feel pretty disappointed and cried over it. Should I just forget about him? |
t3_4fazia | relationships | I [26 F] have recently started seeing my ex [26 M] but he doesn't want a relationship | Me and my ex were together for four years before we broke up. Up until then, we were amazing together, rarely fought, generally got along well, all in all we were great together.
We broke up about 5 years ago due to long distance not working in our favor, and haven't spoken until recently, when he contacted me.
He got a job in the city and moved here, so we started seeing eachother about four months ago.
He was still the most attentive and sweet person as he had been throughout our relatioship, and we started getting romantic again. However, since it had been years since we have spoken, I took things very slowly, not beeing sure what his intentions were.
I was pretty sure he liked seeing me, hanging out, and he was outright romantic, holding hands, kissing.
This has been going on for a few months now, I started loving the fact that we might get together again and I got up the courage to ask him about his intentions, does he see this turning into a relationship.
He told me he loved hanging out, reconnecting, that I get him on levels that noone else does (which is comforting, because I'm pretty convinced he is the one for me), but that he isn't ready for a relationship. I told him I had feelings for him, but I could not keep seeing him, because I'll always hope for something more with him. He said he wouldn't like that, he still wants to keep seeing eachother, and now I'm torn between wanting to keep seeing him and keeping my dignity and walking away from something that maybe wasn't meant to be.
All suggestions are appreciated. | Ex boyfriend and I reconnected after years, started seeing eachother, he told me he doesn't want a relationship. Torn between staying and becoming closer or walking away. |
t3_mmjjp | AskReddit | Has anybody else heard this before, if so what do you think it is. Read on. | Ok so when I was a child there was this tick sounds in my room, it would randomly start when I was playing or something.. tick ... tick.. tick .. tick tick TICK TICK TICK. It would start slow then get louder and more aggressive. When I would get up to go look for where the sound was coming from it would stop. Sometimes it would even stop when I would turn to face where it was coming from.
I forgot about this. Then years later when I moved in with my bf at the time. It started again when we were in bed. It was the same; it would start slow get faster, stop when you move or talk. It would drive my bf crazy. He took everything out of the bookshelves trying to find it. But you could never pin point where it was coming from. And it would always stop when you try to find it. As soon as your almost asleep again.. tick ..tick.. tick. TICK TICK TICK. Sometimes we would just yell at it to shut up. Sometimes it was like it was right next to us in the air.
This was a few years ago. Now I have it in my room again.
Does anybody else have this tick, and know what the hell it is? I have no idea. | I have a tick sound in my room which moves around and stops when I try to find it, Does anyone know what this is? |
t3_ebuxm | relationships | need help for friend and his relationship | reddit i need your help my friend posted this on another forum and i am going to take it because our friendship is at stake.
"I feel really immature for this one but you can't help how you feel. What do you do when your girl likes your best friend and talks to him noticably more than you? Like even to the point where her mom notices and says "What's up with that? I thought you two were dating?". I mean he has no interest in her but she just keeps talking to him the way she'd talk to me and flat out told him if she wasn't dating me she'd date him to which he responded "oh" and changed the subject.
This was of course after I asked her over and over if she liked him and she denied it up and down. I am just finding out monday when we were fighting and I pressured it out of her. My best friend seemed to act shocked too...Now I don't trust either of them and if it's up to me I'm never leaving the two in the same room again.
Am I being immature? Am I overreacting? " | i have no interest in his girlfriend, her girlfriend told me she has a crush on me. my best friend of 9 years dont trust me anymore. |
t3_1odpaa | needadvice | My little brother is a spoiled brat | This goes for my sister too, although she mostly holes up in her room watching Netflix and eating chips. My little brother was raised with no boundaries He complains at having to do the simplest jobs, blames everyone around him for all of his failures, and feels entitled to any and all privileges. He is an attention seeking 11 year old boy and we used to be so close and now he is just a jerk(and not even the cool kind). He thinks he is great at everything he does and can't accept if anyone is better than him. He calls people names that I guess are supposed to be demeaning( stupid Obamaface?) but he is not as pathetically developed mentally as they make him sound. If he is not the center of attention he will do ANYTHING to become it and we've all tried ignoring him, it just doesn't work. Willing to do anything to get the non-douchebag little brother back. | My awesome little brother has become a self-righteous, entitled, know it all attention whore over the past couple years. How do I fix him? |
t3_247b5k | relationships | My [20 F] future roommate [20 F] has been committing credit card fraud. | I recently signed a lease with three other girls at my university. I know them all very well, they are all good, responsible people who I trust(ed).
It recently came out that one of my to-be roommates has been stealing large sums of money from her current roommates. She has systematically stolen credit card numbers multiple times, taking over $700 over the course of the semester. She's spent all of the money on food.
When her current roommate found a receipt in her room that matched a fraudulent transaction, she tried to convince her that their credit cards just happened to have matching last four digits. She even (badly) photoshopped a picture of her own credit card as "proof."
Since then, she has been living at a friend's apartment and has continued to steal despite tearfully apologizing and promising to go to therapy.
Now, a decision has to be made. I have spoken with the apartment complex, and it is possible to replace her on the lease as long as we have someone to take her place. I don't know anyone who can take her place, so we would have to find someone through craigslist most likely.
I will be speaking with my other two roommates tonight, but there seems to be a difference of opinion on what to do. One of my roommates thinks that the stealing won't happen again now that we know, which I think is a very naive opinion. My other roommate is leaning in the opposite direction, saying that she won't hesitate to call the police if we have any problems. I'm not sure where I stand on the issue. I don't want to have to tiptoe around my own apartment next year, but I also am worried about the risks of getting a random roommate.
We will be having a group discussion tomorrow with the roommate in question. I just don't know how to deal with the situation, and I'm not sure if I can trust her promises. | My future roommate is kleptomaniac and I'm not sure how to deal with the situation. |
t3_23wf99 | relationships | I (18M) keep getting upset over my girlfriend's (18F) drinks. Should I really be upset? | This has been going on for a month-ish now, where she'll have an occasional beer or glass of wine. Never enough to the point where she becomes intoxicated, but still, I hate it. I've brought it up to her before, and she just tells me that I need to calm down about it, and realize it's not as bad as I make it. Today, we had an argument about it. It ended with me telling her that I didn't want her to drink anymore, but then a minute later, I just told her that I need to look at it from her point of view. It's not "bad", it doesn't get her drunk, and she always does it around adults who let her, but I just don't like it. My morals are strongly against anything that has to do with alcohol.
Another point I brought up is that I switched it around. I said, "If you didn't like my occasional bottle or glass, I would stop because I know you don't like it." Should she have done the same for me, or are my expectations flawed?
Did I do the right thing? Should I have put a boundary on it only because of my morals, or continue looking at it from her point of view? Should she have recognized my disinterest from the start, and stopped doing it herself because she knows I don't like it? | My girlfriend occasionally drinks (responsibly), but I hate it regardless. Should I tell her to stop only because of my morals, or just look at it from her point of view and see that it's not so bad? |
t3_4yzh3q | relationships | I (25m) went though my girlfriends (20f) phone [dick move] | Yes I know it's a dick move and all, but my girlfriend is acting really strange lately, she recently asked to open our relationship and three days ago and tonight I went through her phone ... Theres a contact named "my king" she's texting now and theres also another guy that shes been talking to recently and very intensively through phone and whatsapp. There are no sign of cheating but the way they speak to each other is almost as if they were partners, I don't think I give her all the attention in the world but she get a fare share of my daily attention and don't think she needs external attention nevertheless in this fashion.
What can I do? | I went though my girlfriends phone. |
t3_3llwaj | tifu | TIFU by seeing if the nail-gun was empty | This happened last week. I'm in my senior year of Highschool and I've taken Theater tech there all four years. I'm the fastest and most experienced builder of the entire crew, and so I'm one of the few people that gets to use the nail-gun.
There I was, nailing a set piece together. I fired the nailgun, but the luan sheet wood did not appear to be nailed to a 1x4 behind it. I assumed the nail-gun was empty, but I wanted to make sure because if it was I would have to climb down the ladder and and walked across the stage to get more nails. In retrospect, doing that would have sucked a lot less than what I do next. Its hard to tell sometimes if a nail actually came out or not when you're firing directly into a piece of wood (like you're supposed to) so I point the nail gun at a different wall on the set piece thats about three feet away. I hold the safety down (making the gun think it's up against a piece of wood) and double tap the trigger. I hear the nails hit the wall, so I turn back around to resume working.
Behind me I hear a girl say 'ow' or whatever. Crap! Could someone have walked behind me and got hit in the leg or something? I turn around, and standing with her hand on her FOREHEAD is that girl that I like. "Was that me?" I ask. I'm really surprised because it doesn't look like theres any way it could have ricochetted that way. She nods, I apologize profusely. Then I embarrass myself further by trying to retrace the path of the nail like I'm on the fucking Warren Commission, showing how it had to bounce at least twice, all while apologizing every other sentence.
Though I was only using 18 gauge wire nails and she was fine, she wasn't wearing eye protection and the fact that I thought it was empty was probably because I was missing the 1x4 entirely, blindly firing trough luan at anyone walking behind it. The worst part of this was that I was working pretty far away from the other people and the workshop, so she was probably walking over to me to ask me for help or something. | had an opportunity to help a girl I like, almost blinded her instead. |
t3_302kaa | tifu | TIFU by using ATM machine | This occurred last week. Resolved today, so typing it up now.
After work, I was low on cash. Went to ATM. Stick in a card. Keyed in my pin number. ATM rejects. Why?? Keyed in my pin number a second time. ATM swallows my card, and prints a paper asking me to contact bank.
Only to realize I feed my credit card. Then I feed my debit card, and got cash. To avoid a repeat, I have labeled my debit card.
I was kept from retrieving the card by my 8:30am to 7pm job, and 20km drive from work to bank. Yesterday bank called, I left work early 6:30pm, rush through return home traffic, reach bank, got back my card, thanked the officer, officer said "We nearly cancel the card because it is not claimed for more than a week", and I grinned.
Wonders whether debit card have pin number too. | Fed ATM machine with my credit card |
t3_47i6dd | relationships | Wondering if anyone has dealt with a pre-determined break up.. | me 25M.. her 21F.. we've been together for 10 months
Right.. so ill get right to it. We love each other and that much is clear. however, we have an expiry date. Ive applied to school out east and i live out west. Its not 100% certain that i will be accepted because of work experience being 1 month short of 2 years (i wonder how stingy they are).
From what I understood we were going to attempt this long distance thing but i knew deep down it wouldn't work out as ill be so busy with school i won't have the time of day to give the attention that she would need. I knew something would happen if i went and it wouldn't be good either way.
Lately I've been thinking about this and its been eating away at me and killing my production at work so i brought it up the other night. we started to talk about what would happen and then out of nowhere i discover if i went to school or not that we wouldn't be together for long anyways. This is because she wants to go travelling solo around the world. at first i was like "no shit.. so do I" but that was promptly shutdown. she wants to find herself and figure out what she wants to do with her life i get that and can relate.
But.. my dilemma is I have no idea if i should break it off now or wait until either i get on a plane or she does. What I'm having difficulty understanding is that she's known this for quite some time now and I'm only just learning it. she's had time to digest these facts and having this talk was a relief for her but for me it was a huge surprise. So its almost as if its not even affecting her. It feels like I'm the only one with a heart broken over us splitting apart.
if any one has had a similar experience and could do a do-over let me know how you would handle this because I can't even think straight at this point. its all so new and shocking to me.
Thanks | I thought if i didn't go to school we would be together but she wants to take a year and travel solo abroad. so i learned either way accepted or not were splitting sometime in the near future. what would you do? break up now or wait it out? |
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