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t3_13uies | relationships | 19 M with 19 F friend who I barely missed my chance with and now need advice. | Okay first a little background on my story, Have had a couple bad relationships before where one was only using me to get to my brother, the other one, I got way too deep for what it was and ended up getting hurt at the end of it. Since these two I haven't really considered dating for the past two years at all. I haven't found girls attractive until this one. We met during band camp while eating lunch in the union building and over the past couple of months I really have come to care for her. I was ready to tell her about how I feel when bam, she gets a boyfriend. Now I am so confused about what to do and what is appropriate with this girl. So many questions to ask so add what you think about the situation and what I should do. I am also wondering if it still is okay to ask her to hang out with only her and stuff like that. Now I know what is completely off limits like telling her how I feel right now or anything else like that but what is still acceptable without ruining a good friendship or ruining her relationship with this guy? | Found a girl that I haven't felt something like this in a while, missed my chance to ask her out and now am wondering what is acceptable in our friendship for me to do. |
t3_3tp9sp | tifu | TIFU by going to the bathroom in 3 am | So this happened 2-3 days ago. I go to the bathroom in 3 AM to take the leak.
Now everything is cool and all but there's one problem in my bathroom - when you put the toilet seat up sometimes it falls down, though this happens rarely so i don't pay much attention to it. As i start taking the leak(eyes half closed) the toilet seat suddenly is falling down, i somehow managed to catch it though i pee all over my hand and clothes, but no big deal i'll clean it up later right? So i lift it up, and continue having that relaxed feeling, like when you avoid a big danger. As i continue the toilet seat FALLS AGAIN, i try to catch it but trip which leads to me falling and hitting my head on the toilet, and the best part, somehow my left hand ended up in the toilet water mixed with my piss. Thusly i had to fully change my clothes and wash my hands like there is no tomorrow in 3 am... did not fall asleep afetwards | Tried to catch falling toilet seat, fell and hit my head,my hand ends up in toilet water full of my piss |
t3_1iz42u | AskReddit | Reddit, tips on living independently? | I (18) and my girlfriend (19) are trying to move out of our parents houses and in together.
She is currently looking for a job.
I have a steady job bringing home about 600 every 2 weeks.
Since I currently live at home with few expenses, I bank half my paycheck to prepare for moving costs like furniture, security deposits, application fees, etc.
I live outside Cleveland, Ohio and my max monthly rent is 500.
I'm looking for any and all advice you have on living independently for the first time.
For instance, what are any reliable and cheap car/health insurance, phone, cable, and internet providers?
If you're from my area what complexes should I look into?
We are both avid ents so I would prefer a duplex over an apartment complex due to the amount of people. | what advice can you offer someone moving out of their parents house? |
t3_44y72z | personalfinance | [29F] What is best college savings vehicle for my baby in California? 529, home equity, etc.? How much would ideally be saved? | I have a one year old and want to start saving early. I was looking at a 529 but I read that I cannot take any tax deductions for a 529 in California.
I personally know a lot of people in California that have used their home equity finance their kid's college. What is the opinion on this strategy? Does this mean if I buy a place, I could splurge a little to get a higher equity in property down the line?
What do you think? What is the most advantageous way to pay for something like this?
And also, what is a good target amount to save?
We currently don't own a home and rent very cheaply (by California standards). We save over nearly 30% of our income currently, with half of that going to retirement.
We don't have any debts (no student loans, no car payments, etc.).
Thanks! | How should I start a college savings account for my baby in California? How much should I save before she turns 18? |
t3_xj30k | relationship_advice | Need advice on how to end a wonderful 3 year relationship. | I am 19/f and he is 21/m. I have had a lot of issues growing up and they just keep coming up in our relationship. I am not an emotionally healthy person and I want to be single to figure out these things on my own. However, my boyfriend is an incredibly understanding boyfriend and he loves me to death. However, we are always arguing and always because of me and I know it's because of my personal problems. I find that I use him as a crutch to solve my personal problems and I love him too much do to that. What sucks is because of my emotional issues, I don't even seem to have the 'strength' to break it off with him, especially when he's resisting.
I think I just need to be single to figure things out. I also think that a 3 year relationship at my age is just simply to young and that I'll feel pressured to get married too young as well and I'll regret it. I also am not sure if I know what's 'out there'. I don't want any of that now, but I don't want him to be the only guy I've ever known before I decide it's the only guy I'll ever be with *and at such a young age*. Also, another caveat, we work together and we go to the same clubs (not night clubs) together and we both have officer positions, so we'll be stuck seeing each other.
So, should I break up with him? Can I even break up with him? | Have personal emotional issues I need to solve on my own, but boyfriend won't accept it. Having these issues makes it harder to break up with him on my own when he simply wants to be with me. If we break up with him, we are officers in the same club and we work together. Advice? |
t3_lgyjt | relationships | Keeps bringing up the same issue! | First of all I hope this is the right sub to drop this in but I'm sure I will get some advice anyways.
We are 30/m and 40/f and have become very close friends over the course of the last 6-9months. She is currently going through a divorce which is near over and has made the conscious decision not to date for a while. In the past during the time that she was dealing with the rougher part of her divorce we had once had a talk about possibly being in a relationship once it was all said and done. We both agreed that we would eventually, but we both held back at the time because we didn't want to put ourselves in situations where it would I would be a rebound, and I didn't want to ever see her as the if she cheats with you, she will cheat on you type of person because I know she is not like that.
Fast forward to the present, I try to be her best friend and support her. I don't offer advice on her divorce even though she asks it of me because I don't want there to be a situation where she will blame me for it. She always invites me to do things, spend time with her and her family, go out dancing etc. I usually go and we have fun, but at times she starts asking me if I am jealous if she is dancing with other guys, or she will put words in my mouth just to make us argue.
I personally feel that I have done everything I can to be her best friend. I never bring up wanting a relationship, yet she consistantly says that she wants one, but shes not ready. I respect that she is not ready, but lately shes been on edge, and brings up whole thing about her not being ready yet and that she wants us to be best friends first. How do I explain to her that I am her best friend, that I understand that she needs her time, and that I am not trying to force a relationship? | She thinks I am trying to force a relationship, I want her to understand that I am her best friend and want her to work out her life. |
t3_3x6308 | relationships | Today my (23f) gf decided we should take a break. Does it always signal the end? More info in comments (xpost-self) | Our sex life used to be great. Then it started slowing down because she had been sick.a little over a week ago she tells me that she doesn't want to have sex anymore. She wants to be closer to God and felt like she had been disappointing her (deceased) grandmother. I was upset but said I love her enough that I want to try to make it work. She said she wasn't 100% sure if she wanted to do it anyway but wanted to try it.
Since then I have been talking to and few female friends about it. Most seem to think that its just a phase. She seemed a little distant since then. the other day told me that she was having a hard time resisting the temptation of having sex with me. I have been supportive and haven't been trying to change her mind. She still felt like she was sinning since we live together and are not married. Today she said she needed time to think and we should take a break. She's going out of town with her family from Friday to next Tuesday (and my birthday is Wednesday:/ ) she said she needs to figure out what really makes her happy. I saw her leaving work tonight as I was coming in for an overnight shift (I know... Don't shit where you eat) we had a very long hug. I teared up just a little and told her to try to be quick with her decision.
I just feel lost and powerless. She says she still loves me but needs to put god first and figure out what makes her happy. I'm hoping so badly that she realizes life is better with me in it but I'm beginning to have my doubts. Any advice is appreciated but I'd really just like someone to talk to right now. I feel alone. | gf wants to put god first and give up sex. I agreed to try. She says having a bf is too much temptation and said we should take a break while she figures herself out |
t3_17950m | relationship_advice | Single medical professionals | What do you do when you find yourself attracted to a patient? I have a strict moral compass and I know better than to risk my professional reputation, but I met a young woman under my care this week and I can't seem to get her off my mind. In any other circumstance I would have jumped all over the chance to ask her for her number. However, I have her name and number already - HIPPA violations are serious so I don't want to cause any ramifications because of my hormones got excited. I loath Facebook as an avenue to meet people because of the amount of information one can obtain with very little effort. If that's my only option, I'm fine with it, but what should I do? Signed- thoughtfully confused | I've already been in a girl's mouth, now how do I ask her out? |
t3_395b4x | relationships | I (17M) am happy with my girlfriend (17F), yet concerned about my inexperience with relationships. | Let me preface all of this by saying that I am NOT interested in breaking up with my girlfriend, so please respect that and don't offer that advice.
Onto the problem: I've been with my girlfriend for 1 year and 7 months now. I just graduated high school and am going to an in-state university, while she will be a senior in high-school next year. We will continue to live close enough to be able to see each other a lot. I'm very, very happy with the relationship. Nothing is wrong--we have fun together, the romance is there, sex is great, families are close, we talk through issues with open communication, she's my best friend, etc etc.
However, she is one of the few girls I have dated. I'm happy, really I am, but I'm concerned that there are possible better relationships out there. This is NOT to say that I don't like the relationship I'm in, just that I have nothing with which to REALLY compare it to. It seems silly to me to talk about a long-term relationship when just getting out of high-school, but if I were to want to pursue one with this girl (whose long-term goals match up with mine), is there any possible way to qualm my fear and uncertainty? | I am happy with my relationship, but concerned that my lack of experience and "grass is always greener" thought process may affect it in the long-term. |
t3_1sd663 | dating_advice | I have a question, 1st date was awesome but... | So first date was awesome: Had a nice dinner with drinks, went to a minor league sporting event, so was easy to still talk, then after that were both up for more so went out to play games at Dave and Buster (adult arcade basically, for those unsure what that is). Took her home, and we even had a good night kiss.
She asked me to text her when I got home safe, which I did and said thank you for a great night, which she reciprocated. I also texted her the next day with some playful texts about stuff we spoke about on the date, kept it simple, funny and short, as did she. Then 3 days later I called her and left a message about a follow up date we had discussed towards the end of the month, but she still hasn't returned the call.
I knew it was going to be a busy month for her, and she's not much of a texter, but still unsure how to take this. Awesome date, and definitely didn't strike me at all as the type of person to ignore someone. So my question is, what next?
Should I try contacting her again, and when? Should I text her with something along the lines of "did you get my message Wednesday? Or was not replying a settle way of saying you're not interested? :)"... I don't want to come off desperate, because I'm honestly not, but I also would like to know what's up too, cause it was a ton of fun. | Should I try contacting her again, or do I wait? |
t3_1x6xfc | AskReddit | How can I become better at taking tests? | I seem to have this issue with taking tests that I now wish to remedy. For instance I had a midterm the other day and there were a few questions that I was stumped on but as soon as I exited the test I knew how to do them and realized I had pretty well put the solutions on my formula sheet that I was allowed to bring in. This seems to be a trend with tests as I do quite well in other aspects of my classes then bomb midterms and finals. I do study quite a bit and feel prepared before going in to the exam. | tips for tests |
t3_3g5ta4 | relationships | I [26] with a guy I have been seeing [26 M] for about two months. He constantly asks for naked pictures or masturbation videos and it is starting to infuriate me. | I started dating this guy two months ago. We met on a work-related gig (he isn't a coworker though) and I really liked him but literally had no idea he was into me. So it was super exciting when we got together.
Things have been good though still a bit casual but taking a natural progression.
I've been in and out of town for work so we haven't seen each other quite as frequently so we talk online a lot. I love talking to him. However, lately, he has been asking me for naked pictures or shots of me mastubating literally nonstop. It's like every conversation we have turns to "when are you going to send me a picture". I admit I am not really comfortable with the whole naked pictures thing. I did it when I was younger and before smart phones and I still feel dumb about it. I think it's just potentially asking for it to have pics like that floating around. I've sent him some tasteful sexy shots but with no real nudity, and he literally responded "enough with this PG shit, give me something nasty."
The thing is he's been super respectful and cool in person and up to this point, but his asking for pics over and over (and saying things like "you're so mean" and "you just love tormenting me" when I refuse) is pissing me off to no end. I don't want to make him feel shitty but he's denying my "no" over and over!
It's also making me question his overall respect for me as a person if he can keep ignoring my answer.
Help :( | otherwise normal new bf keeps begging for naked pics after I keep saying no |
t3_27yqm7 | offmychest | Thanks for ruining the franchise I love. | Ignore this, or whatever.
I love Call of Duty, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, I've played for 10 years. Few games, if any, scratch that itch. But god fucking dammit, the community is so bad, I might just quit gaming altogether.
Thank you, for ruining the franchise I love. Thank you, for abusing the ingame mechanics so much it ruins the game for others. Thank you for playing like such an asshole, so often, that it makes me question my faith in people. Every god-damn game there is some jerk in a room/on a balcony/in a corner aiming down his sights, with the most OP gun and OP attachments and OP perks, just waiting for people who actually play the game like it's meant to be played, to run in to their sights. It shouldn't annoy me this much, I'm a 24 year old man, but it does.
I am aware that you have also paid for this game and you have the freedom to play it how you like. But somehow I doubt you're actually having fun, and common decency dictates that you don't play like an asshole to ruin everyone's experience. If you play football with your friends, do you run around slide tackling everyone, cursing at them, boasting how good you are, accusing them of cheating when they beat you? I doubt it, but you seem to think it's acceptable to do this online, when other people have paid to play the same game as you.
Seriously, the gaming community is a fucking joke. We want people to take us seriously, but it's saturated with 12 year olds who will do anything to get a fucking different coloured pixel to the next guy, screaming at people when he lose's and boasts when he wins about how it was so 'easy'. Well done champ, you went 12-11. Really helped out your team there.
The community will never change, I think I've just out-grown it. Fuck you if you camp. You actually killed this franchise that I've loved for so long. | I got owned by some campers and I'm raging about it despite being a fully grown man. |
t3_1gjd2k | relationships | Girlfriend dancing with other men. | So I have been in this relationship about 9 months. I'm 23, she's 22. We have been dancing twice, once in a proper club and once at a hooka bar. The club was so packed that her dancing with other men didn't occur, their wasn't enough space between us for anyone to try. But twice at the hooka bar other men would grab her hips and start grinding on her. She would push them away but when I asked her about it she doesn't consider that type of dancing sexual.
I consider rubbing a dick on your ass to be sexual and it bothers me when other men literally rub themselves on her. I asked her to avoid that when out with her friends but she blew it off saying it wasn't sexual at all. I'm just not okay with her being molested in the name of dance.
To top it off when discussing it further I told her it would be fine in a more formal and ball room setting for her to dance with other men.
She then stated that she doesn't want me ballroom dancing with other women as it's more romantic.
So in her mind it's okay to fuck with clothes on but not okay to dance in a respectful manner. Am I wrong for being upset and hurt over this? | Two types of dancing, I'm not cool with one, She's not cool with the other. |
t3_32raxo | relationship_advice | (M24) with highly stressed gf (20) | So we are in a long distance but serious relationship. She is studying foe her finals and projects and is really insistent in needing addional space. This is normal around midterms and finals and I usually just back off ad she says until things settle down. However this time around shes had a lot of recent stressors on top of school so I don't know if I should do my normal routine which is send her occasional text to let her know I'm thinking of her or if I should find something to do to give her a good suprise that isn't invasive to her study times. I would have no idea where to start with something like that. | girlfriend stressed out and concerned normal behavior of letting her just focus on school may fall short of what she needs. Any advice? |
t3_ixu7t | AskReddit | What steps should I take to be compensated for my property? | So last year I returned to my home state (NC), and spent a week with my then-friend to hang out and get caught up on life. She mentioned that she had quite a bit of downtime at college, and had no TV to connect her 360 to. Having known her for around two years at the time, I offered to let her borrow my DS for the school year, provided she took care of it). Fast forward to almost a year later, and I find out just how well she treated my property.
After hanging out for a weekend, I ask for the DS back (since I had the urge to play Pokemon B/W, among other games). It takes her a few minutes to get out that she sold it during the school year. I'm stunned to say the least, and after searching in vain for my flash card, she says she'll pay me back the money it would cost to replace everything. I ask her when, and she says September at the earliest. The money she's receiving now is going to her parents for rent and food, so I hesitantly agreed.
This would have been all well and good, until I noticed a few posts about a few of the things she's purchased. Some vinyl crap from Japan and a Wacom tablet, at least. I ask her about it and she gets a serious attitude. We go back and forth, I tell her she has until September, I delete her from my life, and honestly thought that was it. She sends me an email basically saying she's not going to repay me, et cetera.
I'm stuck as to what I should do now. I have a strong feeling she won't pay me what she owes on her own. Should I file a police report, take her to small claims, or what? The only proof I have I even owned a DS is the word of my roommates and friends out of state. I may have registered it with Nintendo years ago, but I can't find that info. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | Let friend borrow DS, she sells it and I don't think she'll ever compensate me. Help! |
t3_4zvh2w | personalfinance | 22, factory worker, father, and home owner; how do I get a better job? | Firstly I apologize for posting here if this is not the correct place to post this. If there is a better place to post let me know.
I will begin with my path to destruction. I graduated high school was planning on going to college to be a veterinarian, and was even accepted into the pre-vet program. However I got a new girlfriend spent way too much time with her didn't buckle down and turn in all the financial aid and paperwork on time so ended up not going.
My parents gave me the ultimatum "either go to college here or get a full time job". So I went down to the local temp agency and got an $8 an hour job. Fast forward a few months I got called about college. They told me I wasn't on the waiting list anymore and they had rooming for me so I could attend. I was 18 years old making roughly $300 a week with zero bills so I basically said eff that.
Fast forward 3 more years I have advanced somewhat in the company making $13 an hour and I decide I was going to go to college again. I look into it and see, "oh massage therapy I can get a certificate in just over a year. People say I am good at massages so I will be able to do that very easily." Basically it was not easy at all; I went for 2 quarters and started working 7 days a week. I got way overwhelmed exhausted and behind so I stopped going just before exams.
I figured since I had A's it would just give me 2 c's and drop me down to a ~3.2 gpa and I would resume when I decided what I wanted. However they considered it dropping out so I got 0's in the classes and now I am on academic suspension.
In the year since My gf and I had a baby and I bought a house. I want to go to college to get in a job that will pay me better; as I am the "bread winner". However I am working 7 days a week in a low paying job that even with the overtime we are struggling with bills. What is my best option? | screwed up my college while working a job that pays me ~35k a year working 7 days a week. I own a 70k house and owe 4K on my car. Have a 3 month old son. Have no idea how to get into a more professional and better paying career field. |
t3_2dbg39 | relationships | I [19m] don't know how to help with my girlfriends [18f] anxiety. | My girlfriend [18f] and I [19m] have been dating for 3 months now, we have known and been best friends for over 2 years and have recently started dating.
Since dating her she has opened up about anxiety and paranoia issues, these come in flair ups, one minute we are talking about random stuff the next she doesn't want to look at me. This being my first relationship I don't know how to consul her during these times.
I will admit I am an "emotional idiot" I don't know when she is "fake" angry or real angry and my reactions to these situations doesn't help. I want to help and keep our friendship and romantic relationship alive. What can I do to help her in these periods of anxiety? | my gf has seemingly random anxiety attacks and I would like to help. |
t3_1flxow | relationship_advice | (21/F) Dated a guy (21/M) who dumped me for a petty reason, and acted like a jerk. Anyone, wanna give reason for his actions? | Maybe it's my ego, but I feel a bit bad that the guy I started dating dumped me for a petty reason. At first, I thought I should dump him in the beginning because I could tell we were so different. But I gave him a chance. He was so eager to be my bf...saying we had a relationship, calling himself my man, that I was his girl. I was cynical at first, but then I ate it up. Yet, keeping him at a distance in a way.
He worked 24/7. And I read you should never date a workaholic, because they will never have time for you. It was true. He would say he missed me so much and pick me up, only to fall asleep on me 1 hr later EVERY-TIME we hung out. Some relationship, huh? I got mad at him one night because of it (I mean inviting me over, only to fall asleep at 9pm..what a joke), and annoyed him, which he got furious about. Finally, us both fed up..he took me home. The next day I said I was sorry for how I annoyed him when he was tired (even though he should have apologized to me for wasting my time when I could have hung out with other friends while he slept). He said don't worry about it, that he was over it. I then said that I got the feeling he no longer wanted to date.. and he said "You're right". I was perplexed. Just like that??? So, I wrote, "It's cool dude. I already told you I thought we probably wouldn't get along too well haha. I'm probably better off single right now anyway. No hard feelings :)"
And as nice of a message I wrote to him, saying everything was fine between us (where typically most people freak out and cry) he never said anything back. Sure I was mad, that the guy I had doubts about lured me in, and wasted MY time... but he was such a jerk, he couldn't even end it on a positive note. Why was he being like that? | Guy dumped me. I acted really nice about it, and he never responded back to me. |
t3_m28wk | BreakUps | Not sure what to do next. | When I was 17 I met this girl. It was a slow start to a long relationship. When college came around it became a LDR and we tried to make it work. It didn't.
Now I'm 21, almost 22, after a 3 year relationship with her. Things were pretty serious, and we were always trying to make it work out. We broke up about 1.5 years ago.
At the time I didn't know, but it turned out she cheated on me (kissing, no sex) with some guy, and shortly thereafter decided to leave me. I eventually learned about this cheating and she told me it meant nothing and she didn't sleep with him or anything, but of course she slept with him and she is now dating him, although there was a while until it happened. I'm pretty sure they've already made it to the "i love you" stuff.
I learned she said she felt attraction to him she never felt with me, and that he made her happier than I ever made her, all on that one night she made out with him. I've also learned that he has a bigger dick than I do (don't ask me how lol) and how she loves all things related to that.
Needless to say there's much more, but this isn't the place for my sob story.
Basically, I can't get over her. Just when I'm enjoying some level of happiness and confidence, I'm reminded of how she immediately had other people chasing her and multiple partners while I've more or less had no success except being used as a rebound. After 3 months she was already in love again while I've been depressed ever since.
I still want to talk to her though. We don't talk, and when I've tried she just ignores me. I feel like I still need some kind of closure, because I know she hates me and tries to get people to agree with her whenever she can.
Should I try talking to her, or just remove everything of her's I have and never talk to her again? | had 3 year relationship. broke up 1.5 years ago. i'm 21 now. she cheated on me, and is now dating that guy, although it took them a while. i still want to talk to her. should i? or should i delete her from my life in every way and just try to keep on trucking? |
t3_1i7gb8 | personalfinance | PF, maximizing savings? | Hi, Personal Finance!
I'd like to think I'm fairly smart when it comes to finance. I have worked at banks in sales (selling people debt), and have been very good about not going into debt myself, keeping my c/c balance low (in fact, I'm debt free ATM, and keep my C/C utilization at about 3-5%, if that). Furthermore, while my job doesn't pay very much, there are discounts on my monthly bills (cable-premium package... and I mean ALL channels,
Here's a basic breakdown of my monthly financial responsibilities
$34, cable/internet
$60 cel phone
$42 car insurance
$14 gym
.... err... I can't think of any other financial responsibilities ATM.
Here are some future expenses that I foresee in the future
-Engagement ring, (1500, for a ring normally priced at $5k, thank goodness for having worked in jewelry for 10 years and having connections)yep, I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me.
-Looking at purchasing a used car 5k-10k, either cash or financing a small amount. (I have a car ATM, but looking to upgrade).
- Hmm... probably something in the distant future are wedding costs, looking for a house, vacation.... etc. (For this, I'd use the figures of a combined income, which is roughly about 60-65k.
So, considering that without comission, my take home-pay is about 1,400-1,500 a month (comission included-- 2,000-2,500) a month. What does PF think I should save? The reson I gave so much info is because of all the upcoming expenses I have, in comparison to the low expenses I have at the moment. | Have little expenses ATM, have some upcoming expenses in the next year.... how should I maximize my savings/what percentage should I save? Is it ok to minimize expenses to a ridiculous amount in order to save up? Thanks! |
t3_17v39d | relationships | Guy [22m] hits on my GF[23f] ALL the time... BUT he's autistic... what to do? | My GF is a 23f. I'm a 24m. We've been going out for almost three months.
My GF works at a retail place as a cashier. One of the guys she works with has an insane crush on her. She has told me many things that he has told her, things like how he told her he has fantasies about her, that he likes her, that he was jealous when he found out we got together, etc. Only one extra thing: he's autistic.
The guy even looks a little goofy in his profile pics on FaceBook, a big smile plastered over his face. He obviously has some mental issues with being autistic and all, and that's fine. But there's one issue that is really bugging me: he won't stop hitting on my girlfriend on her FaceBook wall.
For the first month/two I didn't really care because I knew he was autistic/slow. But the guy keeps doing it. He says things like, "You looked really good today BTW", "God bless you SEXY BABY", "You are so sexy/hot", "I dedicate this song to you", etc. He is always posting huge songs on her wall that he "dedicates" to her, talking about love, how hot she is, how he loves her, etc.
My question is, is it okay to ask this guy to stop calling my GF sexy in public, ie, on her FaceBook wall? Nothing mean of course. Or am I over-reacting? If it was a guy that wasn't autistic, I would be super pissed, but for some reason since he's autistic, is it okay? I also don't like that if people check out my girlfriend's profile, they might be a little confused that he has taken over her entire wall with flirtation. | Autistic guy hits on my girlfriend all the time, and it's getting a little annoying. Can I say something? |
t3_mhxjz | AskReddit | A question to others in professions with a distinct hierarchy. | I'm currently in my last semester at one of the best universities in the US looking forward to a career in medical research. My plan now is to work for 2 year as a technician while my fiancee gets an MFA in writing then spend 7 years in an MD/PhD program followed by at least 4 years of residency then a postdoc or a fellowship followed finally by an assistant professorship. Once I get there, I still have to worry about getting a promotion to associate professor then finally full professor unless of course I don't want to work in academia.
Anyways, I was think about all of this and realized that I'm going to feel like I'm not realizing my full potential until I max out in my career (which will most likely be just before retirement). Does anybody else not in the sciences feel like this? Does anybody in medical research or academic medicine have any thoughts for me? Is it worth spending my whole life training for the next step? | Going into a field where I'll spend my whole life training for the next step, wondering if it's worth it |
t3_3sfsha | Advice | I just walked out of my first concert, ever. | I went to a neon indian concert last night and I was pretty psyched to go, being that I've never seen any of my favorite artists live. I'm 21, Indian, and from the West Indies. I'm 5'8 and 138lbs. While I was wanting to go for weeks, I took a look in the mirror and thought to myself that I won't fit in.
I wore some levis, vans, a olive parka and a basic t-shirt to the event, but I just felt like people in the room were judging me because I wasn't white, when the majority was.
The night started out with me arriving o the show 45 mins late because the GPS on my phone was sending me to a sandwich shop instead of the arts center. Finally found it after downloading google maps. Walked to the entrance of the show and Hipsters. Hipsters everywhere. Made my way inside and the band wasn't on stage.
I had no idea if they left, or was just taking a break. But I felt so uncomfortable there that I just wanted to leave. I even heard some girl say as I walked in, 'Hey look, its Aladdin'. From there, I could already feel everyone judging me as that awkward kid because why else would someone say that about a stranger?
Walked out. The usher said no-reentry and I was like "ok"... everyone in line was saying "He's a real hipster", but I didn't take that as a compliment or insult because I just wanted to leave...
What the fuck is wrong with me? | Went to a concert. Got scared because it was out of my usual comfort zone and left 3 mins after I walked in... |
t3_2s82dg | relationships | My [19M] girlfriend's [18F] (about 6 months) parents found out we're sexually active | My girlfriend and I are away for college so I see her every few weeks or so. We're from the same area so when we went home for the holidays we saw a lot of each other and it was great. I hung out with her family and she hung out with mine. Everybody loved us including both of our parents. The break was amazing and I went back to school a few days earlier than she did.
During the break her mom kept thinking we we're having sex. Whenever she'd ask my girlfriend she'd say no. I don't blame her. Both of our parents are so religious and we were raised to basically be Bible zombies, but that's not how we chose to live.
While I was gone her mom had another feeling and my girlfriend spilled everything. So now her mom doesn't want anything to do with her. Her dad is also mad, but on a lesser scale. I'm sure they both hate me.
I don't want to come between her and her family, but that's exactly what I'm doing. What can I do to help the situation? | Girlfriends super religious parents hate that we "fornicated" |
t3_uuf22 | AskReddit | Reddit, why do some people would rather be on their phone than talk to those that are actually present? | I was invited by a friend for lunch since we hardly see each other anymore. She spent the entire lunch texting someone on her phone and on Facebook. I just sat there eating quietly. Then she asked that we should go to dinner next time. I refused seeing that she doesn't really want my company. There was also the time that my girlfriend was on her phone texting her co workers when she just got off work, I asked her that she put the phone away and talk to me. She said that it would only take two minutes and said that it was important. For me it was not since she can just text when we were done after we ate. | I hate it when people are on their phone rather than talk to me |
t3_1vt4g5 | offmychest | The person that faces the world isn't me | When I talk to people (If I talk to people, I have trouble with that whole conversation thing) I feel as though the person speaking isn't the one in my mind. He's different, not me; he's overzealous, energetic, says the wrong things at the wrong times.
He doesn't see people the way I see people. When he fucks up, he defends himself voraciously, gracelessly and without thought. He's stupid and ignorant.
He isn't me.
When I'm alone, he no longer exists. When I'm alone, I'm a different person, someone who doesn't say stupid shit, thinks rationally and thoughtfully; he enjoys stories, and is at his happiest following a plot, or making fun of shitty acting.
No one knows him; all they know is a spastic retard that can't put his thoughts into words, and can't keep a stable conversation going if it killed him. But I don't know how to put the actual me out there, he's locked away when I'm around others, silent and disdainful as some other prick takes his place. | The person that I am when I'm around other people isn't the person that I am when I'm alone. |
t3_ci1ez | AskReddit | Reddit, I need help choosing a college | I'm entering my senior year of high school with around a 3.1 overall GPA and an 1800 on SAT1. Being lazy and all, etc...
California, i was thinking of going to UCSD but I'm not sure if I'm qualified. Also I'm not sure studying abroad is an option for me. | Does school ranking count towards apps? |
t3_1ysbfh | loseit | [NSV] The Pride in Weakness [x-post GetMotivated] | We often think of pride coming from our greatest strengths or highest accomplishments. The reality is that while we should always strive for more, to be faster and stronger and smarter, we find that greatest sense of pride is in simply finishing.
For the past 34 days I've been running (some may call it trotting) a 5K or 6K everyday on the elliptical at my gym. The day before I started I thought I was doing great to go 10-15 minutes.
Everyday I finish I feel better about myself, but what I've found is that I often am most proud on the days I least feel like doing it and do it anyway. It's when I'm most tired or not at 100% or just feeling weighted down and yet I still get it done that I find the most meaning in.
I love when I take minutes or seconds off of my time, but I already feel good on those days. The only thing I'm overcoming is at those points is my body. When I'm sick or tired or mentally weighed down I really have to go to war with myself. It's the hard days that I have to defeat, not only my body, but my mind as well.
It's in the moments of greatest weakness that I find the most pride in finishing. | You feel good when you push your body, but real pride comes when you overcome your own mind as well. |
t3_24ne4w | offmychest | I've never kissed a girl and I feel like a failure | So I was watching South Park tonight and it was the episode where Butter's gets bullied for never having kissed a girl even though he was already 9. Then I realized that the same applies to me, even though I'm 15, and it feels like shit. I'd like to think that I'm not ugly, about 5/10, and I get told about how nice I am by the few friends I have, so I don't see what's the problem. It's not that I haven't tried, I've tried more times than I can count to, but I'm constantly rejected and everyone seems to see me as a weird kid that nobody really likes. That's not my problem. My problem is that I can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. Do I just have an aura around me that makes people act like dicks around me? I just don't see what I'm doing wrong, because there has to be something that differs me from the "cool" kids that I don't see, even though I'm just like them except I'm not as big of a douchebag. But maybe that's it. | I've never kissed a girl and I can't figure out what I've done wrong, can anyone give me suggestions? Sorry for the massive wall of text, have a [panda for your troubles]( |
t3_tn2qh | relationships | A good friend of mine is distancing herself... I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm desperate... | Hello /r/relationships. I'm a 20 year old college student and I'm a male.
About a year ago I met a beatiful girl in my college, we started talking and quickly get along with each other. She is fantastic, interesting and very nice but, she already has a solid relationship with another person. At first, it bothered me but I quickly accepted it and decided to enjoy our friendship.
We talked mostly by internet: we shared opinions on movies, shared articles of the internet, laughed about silly images, talked about how hard our courses are. We talked about everything, even her boyfriend and her family. Sometimes we would met by chance on the corridors' college and cafeteria and have a good chat. I started relying on her as a real friend and stopped talking about more intimate stuff with my usual friends.
But now something changed, from some weeks ago she started to talk less and less with me, she barely responds to my messages and it seems to me that she avoids me in the college. I don't know what's going on and it's driving me crazy. She doesn't want to know how am I anymore, she doesn't ask how are things doing, she simply stopped caring.
I'm angry Reddit, very angry... and sad... I can barely focus myself on classes, I try to fap everytime to get the steam off. But nothing works. Help me. Give me advices. Say something to me.
It is pain. | I have grew attached to a friendship with a girl and now she doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know why. |
t3_igtuc | dating_advice | 2nd date... | Kinda embarrassed to post this, seeing as how I'm 35 and the girl I had a date with is 31, but I'm separated/working to complete my divorce and she is divorced. Basically, a couple of nights ago was the first "first" date I've had in over 10 years. It was terrifying, then really cool. We seemed to hit things off pretty well, no "le sexy time" at the end of the date but we both texted each other after the date saying we had a good time, etc...
The first date was pretty mellow, we just walked around a bit and had a couple drinks while we talked with each other. I have 3 questions for you, Reddit -
1) our 1st date was on Saturday and I was thinking of calling (not texting) on Wednesday to see if she's available over the weekend; should I call sooner? Later? (we did talk about going out again, but didn't make any plans...there was a part of me that enjoyed the date so much I wanted to get the fuck out of there before I did something to mess it all up.)
2) I was pretty clueless about setting up the 1st date, but because I'm fairly new to the area she suggested a place to meet. Really, the problem is that it's been so long I don't even know what constitutes a "good" or "bad" place or event for 1st and second dates. I'd like to be able to take the initiative and show her a good time; any suggestions?
3) Making the "move" - WTF, it's insane to think that, after having sex regularly for 10 years that I'm nervous of going in for a kiss, but that's the deal. Any advice? Should I just yawn and stretch my arm out around her? Should I use the "stopping short" move? kidding, but yeah I'll take any advice on how soon is too soon - I don't want to come across as a creep, but I don't want her to think I'm not attracted to her either. | Need help/advice on setting up a second date |
t3_2rnzma | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] 6 weeks, he told me he loves me 3 days ago, always talked about the future, dumped me out of nowhere | BF and I got together about a week after his last breakup. I insisted that we should wait because I didnt want to be a rebound girl. He kept after me and I gave in.
We dated for 6 weeks and he was always very affectionate toward me. I wasn't always as affectionate but after about 3 weeks I started to get comfortable enough to be.
He came to visit my family for christmas (his idea) I got along with his family. Etc.
He was always talking about future plans (valentines day, the summer, the more abstract someday). He told me he was excited to spend his life with me.
Fast forward to Sunday. He found out his ex had started seeing someone else and got all weird. I asked him about it and he said he was just shocked but it wasn't a big deal.
Next day he doesnt respond to my texts or call me or anything until I get a "We need to talk." He comes over and breaks up with me. Insists that its nothing I did and that he is just in a bad place right now.
I feel robbed. I gave him my heart. I opened myself up. And I just got tossed aside with no real explaination.
I keep replaying everything trying to think of what I could have done better even though I know that is pointless. I will probably never know why this ended. But I was finally at a place in my life where I was happy being single and doing my own thing and he busted that up and then left me hanging.
1) How am I supposed to stop dwelling on this?
2) If this is what love feels like how does anyone put up with it enough times to find the right person? | Fell in love with a guy I was apprehensive about dating to begin with and then he just dumped me out of nowhere. How do I move on and how am I supposed to open up to anyone if love is gonna leave me feeling this shitty every time? |
t3_14e6mo | relationships | Feel like husband (Mid 20s) can't be bothered to go out of his way for me (Also mid 20s). Am I expecting too much? | Husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3 of those. Earlier this year my parents found out my only other sibling is addicted to hard drugs. Details on this aren't really important other than my parents have recently said enough is enough and my sibling is only allowed to move back home if they are ready and willing to go to rehab to get clean. I don't have the closest relationship with my parents, but I'm trying my best to be there for them through this.
This hasn't been easy on my parents, and my mom doesn't want to spend X-mas at home and be reminded that my sibling isn't there. She wanted my husband and me to come with her and my dad on a 4 day trip (8 hour car ride) for X-mas. I thought it would be good for my husband and me to go on this and just kind of support my parents through their rough holiday. I told my husband that this was important to me, and that I though we should do it, but he said he really didn't want to do it. I told him it hurt me that he wasn't willing to do it for me when I told him it was important to me, and he accused me of guilt tripping him. We both have ample vacation time to do this, and his family is celebrating early this year so logistically there aren't any problems. Honestly all we are going to end up doing is probably just sit around our house watching TV. I told my mom he didn't want to travel for the holiday and she seemed sad, and said that her and my dad were going to look for some trip for the two of them.
I put out the idea of maybe cutting it down to a 3 day trip somewhere that was only 2-3 hours away and my husband still said no. I didn't want to push it, but I'm still feeling resentful about it, but I'm not sure who is in the wrong here. Am I asking for too much or is he being a jerk about not doing this for me? | Husband won't go on a 3-4 day trip for X-mas with me and my parents who are dealing with the first holiday season with my addict sibling out of the picture, feeling resentful about it. |
t3_3y28u2 | relationships | I'm [18f] living with my controlling aunt [45f] and I have a 7:00 curfew. I want out. | I come from the typical strict religious family so I understandably want to move out. I live with my aunt who pays for me and my dads rent. (Moms not in the picture as of late.)
My reasons are:
1) My aunt expects me to do all the housework plus be the parent for her three children. She's always gone
2) I began coming home late after I turned 18 and she suddenly gave me a (nonnegotiable) curfew of 7:00 pm
3) I'm not allowed to sleepover at anyone's house including family like cousins etc. (then she'll have to do all the work herself.)
4) She has manipulated my dad into agreeing with whatever controlling rules she created for me. I can't reason with him.
5) As a fucking 18 year old (I'm a senior in high school) I shouldn't be living in such circumstances. I feel oppressed and I should feel entitled to defend myself but I have little to no support.
She has successfully managed to find a way to control every aspect of my life within a year and I simply want out because there's no way we'll come to any sort of agreement.
I'm trying to wait until I graduate and get a car but I'm afraid I will be overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities that comes with moving into your own place. Yes it's hell here but i don't have to pay rent, I wont get kicked out and I'm not entirely alone. So I'm afraid I'll end up running back. I would also like some advice from people who suddenly moved out and learned to take control over their lives after they've been controlled for so long. Thank you | My aunts crazy af and my only solution is moving out but I'm afraid I'll regret it. How do I approach this situation? |
t3_gw1wv | AskReddit | Tools for photo consolidation on a PC? | Reddit, I humbly ask you the following: Is there any tool that is geared toward finding photos in multiple directories and consolidating them into one?
Years of sloppy importing by my family members and carefree backup (we have 5 or 6 backups and not sure if any one of them contains all of our images- however, before any reinstalls/new PCs were rolled out, backups were done and are done regularly) have left us in a tenuous state with the safety of our photos.
Ideally, it would:
- Check for EXIF data as a way to make sure it was a photo taken by camera and not a random image on the drive
- Ignore browser caches
- Recognize if there are multiple copies of the same image, and when consolidating, keep one copy of that image.
- Insert all the existing folders into one directory with chronological dating (either by year or month/year). | if you know of any tools to consolidate images, please recommend them. Any general tips on doing so are also welcome. |
t3_uy0o2 | AskReddit | my niece was kidnapped by her mother at the age of three, she's at a private school in the city I live in. advice please?! | wall of text ahoy!
the background story -
My brother and his ex were far from model parents. him being a paranoid semi psychotic biker and her being a manipulative, cold stripper. She started cleaning up when she was pregnant and went back to school. My brother tried but failed. She took off with my niece nine years ago with good reason. it took my brother a lot longer to get sober. three years ago he found god and quit coke.
for years and years we had no clue where the ex was with my niece. we knew where the ex's mother lived but every attempt to contact with the mother was bad. the mother finally told my mother that if she mentioned my brother again that the ex would cut off her own family. at least we know where the mother is and that is a anchor. it's better than not having a clue right?
about four months ago, my brothers wife was googling my nieces name and there was a hit. there was a girl about the right age on the gymnastics team of a local private boarding school. my niece has a unique name but looking at the pictures everyone in my family came to the realization we wouldnt recognize her if we saw her. she's 12 now.
so we didnt know if it was her. my brother decided that for his own sobriety and sanity that he wasnt going to pursue it.
about three days ago my brother's wife asks when my niece's birthday is and I tell her. the schools website posts birthdates of students and it was my nieces date of birth.
it's legally a messy matter. the ex might have not put my brother on the birth certificate. if she knows we know where my niece is she might bolt again. also there is the little matter of what she's told my niece over the years about my family.
so I am at a loss on what to do, if anything. | too complicated! |
t3_1kv4n4 | dating_advice | How should I approach a girl that I used to like? | First of all, I am a 16 year old male.
I asked a girl out about six months ago, during school. I haven't seen her over the summer, and we have rarely talked since I asked her out. Obviously, she said no when I asked her out, but I saw her staring at me multiple times since then. And today, which we had to show up to for an orientation thing, I saw her staring at me again.
Before I asked her out, we were very friendly to each other. And we teased and flirted (I think) with each other. I was 90% sure she liked me, but she told me off by saying her mom was strict with boys, and her weekend was packed. The two of us never texted and I never got her number, cause texting isn't really my thing.
I saw her staring at me last year, before I got a crush on her, a lot, and she would smile and laugh whenever we talked. Like, I would pass her by and she'd sorta grin when she saw me, and I'd do the same.
When she turned me down, she was shocked, and didn't offer a more convenient time to hang out. After that day, she stopped chatting with me and only talked when I initiated something, like what time something was going to start at, or what we were doing in a certain class.
After she stopped talking to me, I still tried to act normal around her, and played it cool like it didn't matter too much.
Most of this is just me venting, but input is still welcomed. I don't really have a crush on her anymore and want our friendship back at least, but I feel like she isn't meeting me halfway. | A girl who I thought liked me stopped talking to me after I asked her out. Are there any signs I should look out for, or tips I should try to get her back as a friend? |
t3_402pc7 | legaladvice | [NC] No custody order in place-- Do I have to let him see the children? | Had a hearing today to renew my no contact order with my ex. Even with sufficient evidence, the order, which included my ex having visitation every other weekend with the kids, was not renewed. Prior to an order, we did not have a custody agreement in place. Due to the safety and best interests of my children, I do not want the kids to go over there today (it would have been his weekend). My lawyer advised me to keep my children and put permanent custody on the court calendar, which I did as of today. She also advised that there could not be any legal ramifications if I did keep the kids, since there is no custody order in place.
I just want to make she's right. Sorry for the brief, yet long, description. | no custody order in effect as of today, concerned over chilldrens safety, will i get in trouble if i keep the kids and deny what would be normal visitation. |
t3_4d4uam | relationships | I'm (26m) lacking friends. | What do I need to change in order to meet people/make friends?
I'm a bit embarrassed to disclose personal information about myself but maybe it could help me get a grip on my life.
But what do people do or go to meet new people and make friends? I am in Uni, and I know what you are probably thinking: it should be easy. But it is not. Yes, I do a few CLASSMATES I hang around school, but that's it.
My life has been VERY BORING the past year. Maybe since I broke up with my ex-gf of 4 years+ (and still somehow haunts me to this day). Every day has pretty much felt the same: Go to class, go to work but if none of those happen during the day I will find myself spending the rest of the day in my room. Either playing mobile phone games or in my computer--and I HATE IT.
"What should I do today?" I ask the same damn question every day I have the day off. "This isn't productive, I am wasting my life away". "Go fucking outside and do something." But it's kind of hard going by myself + I end up spending money, which I don't like (I'm economical stable, I just don't like to spend on petty things). It is even worse to see that a few people around my age that I know are either getting married or having kids. And I keep thinking myself "I am 26-yo... what the fuck am I doing with my life?"
I tried dating a few times, it did not go well. I am somewhat confident on how I look, so while I am not like super hot, I am okay (asian). Dating apps don't really work for me. Going on dates makes me really anxious. So I thought, why not meet friends instead? But... where do I start? What about productive things I can do by myself?
I live in Honolulu if that helps, and I moved here 5 years ago. I literally have no friends, only "people that I know" kind of relationship. | I'm 26 and I feel that I am wasting my life away. What should I do to change this? |
t3_10dm88 | relationships | My dad (44/m) called me (16/f) fat in the middle of Costco... Not sure how to handle this. | So today, I went out on errands with my parents.
Everything was going fine, I had gotten a new book, we were planning to go to a movie, and had decided to go to Costco to kill time. At Costco, my mom (43/F) and dad(44/M) got hot dogs and I(16/F) got a slice of cheese pizza. We enter Costco:
1. A little into Costco, my mom bumps into me because I had to stop suddenly and dropped her hot dog on the ground, forcing her to throw it away. My dad instantly blames it on me.
2. After offering the 95% left of my pizza to my mother and having her decline my offer, I continued to walk around Costco with them, taking small nibbles of my pizza since I was still full from the breakfast I cooked for myself. My dad pulls out a thing of flashlights in preparation for Idyllwild and walks by me. He notes that I still have a lot of pizza left and asks, "Are you gonna finish that so you can take some of the heavy load?" I didn't respond since I was chewing my last nibble of pizza. He continues walking and says, over his shoulder, "Actually, I hope you DON'T finish that."
My father just called me fat in the middle of Costco.
I looked down at my pizza for a minute, then pivoted on my heel and threw the last of it in the trashcan along with my Coke. Holding back my tears, I walked to the bathroom, where I locked myself in a stall and bawled my eyes out.
His excuse? "What? It's the truth, and I don't care."
I don't know what to do or even what to think? The only thing I've determined is to stop eating. | My father decided it would be perfectly okay to call his teenage daughter fat in the middle of Costco. Not sure what to do or think. |
t3_38yqjt | relationships | Should I [19 M/F] talk to someone else [17 F] about a previous breakup | About 3-4 months ago my girlfriend of 3+ years and I broke up. My life has been an emotional mess since then. Including me calling her crying and even more recently, she started calling me and begging for me back. I try really hard to cut off contact with her and it hasn't been easy. But I know I won't ever fully get over the relationship unless we are both out of each others lives.
I constantly feel lonely and try to talk to my good friends (all guys) about it but they just laugh and act like I'm being a huge pussy. I have another good friend who is a girl and a couple years younger than me. I want to talk to her about the breakup so badly just so I have someone more compassionate to confide in.
I'm not worried about her getting annoyed hearing about my problems cause I have listened to hers many of times. My main concern is that since I am still emotionally unstable from the breakup, it might not be a good idea to have to depend on another female to help me through this(Even though I am not looking for a relationship). On the other hand, I have a feeling that if I open up to another girl about my problems it might make me feel more secure about myself and allow me to move on.
I always felt like girls had it easier in breakups because they have friends that will listen to their venting while guys simply don't give a shit. If anyone one has been in a similar situation or has any advice, please let me know. | I'm still a mess after a breakup. Can I talk to female friends about my problems without using them to fill my emotional void? |
t3_n4xh6 | self | UC Davis Pepper spray story. Occupy rejects full story? | *Before a flame war comes in, i support the Occupy movement intention. But i also understand that if you do not follow a police officers orders/incite panic/claim you are going to free arrested personal/etc, they reserve the right to arrest you/spray/taz/etc. Even if i am told of the procedure before it happens.*
I think it's pretty clear the UC Davis Pepper spray story went out of control. Some people are claiming the occupy movement of pushing liberal media (sort of the same tactics ala Fox News and more). I haven't really finalized what i think (mistake, misrepresentation or liberal media), because i do believe there's a just cause in the Occupy movement, but the actions of a few are making the most noise. It is the wrong message of Occupy Wall street.
So i decided to search reddit and compare votes on various UC Davis Pepper spray video posts, original and then later released full compiled video. My query today is that with all of people who joined in the hate for John Pike and the rest of the cops that showed up, why is everyone silent now? Many posts about the full videos are downvoted immediately. I thought of posting this in r/occupywallstreet, but felt this is more of a neutral forum (also to avoid instant downvote fury from title). It's not for karma, but for perspective. One week after spraying, there was a huge boom in media for it; t-shirts, art, videos, etc. Using that image as a symbol of a what the Occupy Movement is fighting against. Now (atleast i feel) is invalid now. There's a video showing him explaining three times he was going to do it, and no miscommunication from Pike (when the protesters asked if they're going to be shot.) The man almost lost his job because of a well edited video. So reddit, what's your input. Do you think the occupy can jump to conclusions too quickly (or support this type of publicity)? Are occupy people mad about this video, do they feel misrepresented? If you're neutral, what's your take on Campus Occupy protests, should they continue (should they be done differently). | What are your feelings on the UC Davis pepper spray full video? Many people joined in the hate for the first video, but now for the second are silent. Just a few upvotes and more downvotes and little to no comments (meaning no activity). Do you support this as a neutral, occupy member, 1%, w/e? |
t3_obtn1 | AskReddit | Women of reddit, a serious question about relationships. And about how you choose men. | I'm sure this has been asked before, but I wanted to ask it using my own wording.
Why is it most women date assholes? And us *nice guys* almost never?
~~I'm not looking for the generic answer that is always given, but I'm looking for a more in depth, genuine answer. It's happened to me many times, why is it a girl would rather be with an asshole than someone who's legitimately nice? Sure, some of us might be awkward, and maybe not the best looking guys around, but damn, I think that us being nice should be worth at-least something.~~
~~I've had girls who I thought I knew, and thought I could have a long lasting relationship with leave me for another guy. And the other guy treats her like shit. I just want to know why? and would us *nice guys* turning into assholes make you like us?~~
Ninja | Why do girls choose assholes over niceguys?~~ |
t3_2298si | offmychest | Best Pup Ever | Despite being a lurker most of my time on here, I feel like I need to make a post. This may be rambling more than anything, but it's literally just something to get offmychest.
My pup (brother's, sister's, and mine) passed away recently. I'd like to think she lived a good life and enjoyed her time with us- not only did she eat well for 15+ years but she was better traveled than most people are. However, I can't help but overthink her death. Without a doubt I saw her as a family member I cared for. I know she is a dog, but her emotional link to us made her seem, and become, more than that. All pets seem to help their friends understand that love can be unconditional and simple. I've realized that this translates well into our own relationships. Not only do I mean into the emotional ties we make between one another, but the permanency with which we make our life decisions in general.
Maybe that's overthinking it, maybe it's not. But I can't begin to explain how much I analyze and interpret my little dog's departure. She touched more people than would like to admit. Quiet and ornery, she secretly grabbed hold of my life's reigns and helped steer me in ways I couldn't imagine.
Hope I didn't post this in an inappropriate reddit. Didn't have a lot of time to plan this out... | My pup died at 15+, but it made me realize how much she affected me. |
t3_2ycx19 | askwomenadvice | Girl telling me things on our second date, probably over thinking things as usual, still want advice | Friday I went out to lunch with a girl(20f) I'm(21m) interested in. Somehow during the conversation the topic of friend zone came up. She preceded to tell me she wants to be up front with guys but she thinks the friend zone is stupid. She then told me that she just wants to be friends right now. Before I could say anything she then told me that's because she believes for her to date anyone she needs to know said person for 6 months, which then I told her I agree because we first met on valentines day for a blind date. To me that sounded like she is interested in me but wants to get to know me better before we take it to the next level. But what do you think?
Then my final question, I was telling her how I am going to south Korea in a few weeks for a vacation, she then told me how she would love an authentic Korean kimono,(we know its not what they are called but she couldn't think of the name.) Is that just a statement or like if you want to buy me one I'd be really happy kind of thing. I'm new at this whole dating thing,I'm 21 and have always been afraid to ask girls out but she makes me want to break out of my Shell, so I don't want to weird out our friendship by buying her said dress or whatever | girl said she doesn't want to get serious with me until we've known each other for 6 months. And said she would love an authentic Korean dress. |
t3_4mprym | relationships | I [20 M] asked a [19 F] out for a drink, she said yes. I've just found out she has a boyfriend. | Tonight I met a girl at a pub in a group I was in. We got on quite well, laughed and had a lot of similar interests and she was really nice. Her dad was also there because he was part of my group and he brought her along.
Anyway, when he left to make a phone call I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink and without hesitation she said yes. Just about to get her number and her dad came back and we just sort of carried on as if nothing had happened. Anyway we left 5 minutes later and I looked at her when she went and said do you want to... and she said yeah yeah, smiled and went with her dad.
I had suggested sometime this week and she said yes but then her dad came back so we stopped talking about it. I'm not too worried about missing the opportunity because the group is meeting again in 2 weeks so I'm going to go then.
So I get home after a bit of a high thinking I'm in there. I do a quick Facebook search and it turns out she has a boyfriend of at least 2 years. That certainly put a downer on the situation and I'm wondering about her motive for going for a drink with me.
To me, asking somebody for a drink by yourself tends to mean you want a date and the fact she said yes without thinking made me think it was, but then the boyfriend! I'm confused and could do with some advice about what to do. | I asked a girl out for a drink, she said yes, turns out she has a boyfriend. |
t3_4csjey | relationships | Me [28F] with my BF [26 M] , has mentioned giving me an heirloom ring when he proposes. Am I being unappreciative if I don't like/want it? | Let me start off by saying that money is not an issue, me and my boyfriend are very financially stable and do very well for ourselves.
Basically my boyfriend has mentioned on several occasions that when he proposes, he is going to propose with his grandmothers ring which is an emerald ring.
This apparently means a lot to my boyfriend, but I hate emeralds, and it would mean a lot for my boyfriend to pick out a ring for me. Like I said, its not an issue of money. He's not being cheap and he could afford any ring he desired.
I feel like if I have to wear a ring for the rest of my life, I would want it to be something that I love and has meaning to me.
What should I do? | Boyfriend keeps mentioning proposing to me with his grandmas heirloom ring. Ring is ugly and it means more to me for him to pick one out for me. What should I do? |
t3_25jyjc | relationships | I've [26 M] been seeing [25 F] for ~3 weeks, she's admitted she is diagnosed bipolar and her behavior has been getting significantly worst as the days go by. | We went on a first date and she completely normal and cool. I'll even admit that I thought I really liked her by the end of our first encounter. When we're together in person she's always been very normal but once we're apart doing our own things she becomes extremely needy and her emotional state has been extremely volatile. She came forward last week that she was suffering from bipolar disorder and is actively being treated for it. There a lot of things she' also confided in me that I don't feel comfortable putting out there but its got a lot to do with feeling the need to be wanted.
I didn't want to attribute her behavior to her disorder and I have been extra careful about not mention it in light of her increasingly unstable behavior. To be fair she is under a lot of stress because she's nearing the end of graduate school. So I try be there for moral support because it would be a tough time for anyone, but things have really gotten out of hand with things she's saying and threatening to do. I'm genuinely worried for her personal well being and I have no idea what I should be doing short of cutting off contact before something worst happens. I have half a mind of reaching out to her family or friends to ensure they someone is aware of the situation but I'm not sure if that would be overreaching any boundaries. I'm seriously worried about her and don't know how to approach the situation. | Met a girl suffering from bipolar disorder whos behavior has been getting increasingly unstable and not sure what to do. |
t3_3znh32 | relationships | I [M16] am not sure how to react to F[just turned 14] showing interest to me | Hey, i am a 16 year old guy from Switzerland.
On silvester me and a friend met two of his friends [f].
We spent most of the evening together as a group of 10, said goodbye and in figured that was it.
A few days later one of the femalf friends asked my friend if i would join them for an activity. He mocked her by saying shes into me as a joke, which she didnt denie.
On one ocassion i told my friend the girl might be too young, which he texted her when she asked if i would come. She asked him if my attitude could be changed.
My problem is that i turned 16 in august and she will turn 14 in a few days. Im just not sure if i should go for it. Ive only had one relationship in the past, so of course it would be kind of nice you know? Imo she is pretty and kind of developed for a 14y old, but i have not talked to her a whole lot.
According to my friend, who kind of arranged this by telling her my statement about her maybe being too young is not that huge of a hinderance, the girl will message me within the next few days, and i honestly have no idea to handle that either. | im 16 and a barely 14 year old girl likes me and will probably message me soon, i only have little experience with women, not sure what to do or how to reply |
t3_ie0bx | AskReddit | Why does the argument of legalizing gay marraige even exist? (not opposing glbt) | the whole idea of having to "legalize" gay marriage doesn't make sense to me. marriage is a religious rite and should be separate from the state. making gay marriage "legal" violates what most churches believe in. If you want to be married catholic, for example, but your trying to marry someone from the same gender as yourself, your fight needs to be with your church not your country. so why dont we skip the legalize crap and go right to a better updated list of stuff to get done
1) fully separate church and state
2) create a form of union for people with a desire to have the same conditions as marriage with no ties to any religion. this would be of course for hetero and homosexual couplings.
on a separate note. i personally have no problem with gay people, couples, or porn for that matter. i don't see why anyone else would either. Normal day to day life, and what you would be seeing of the person are usually identical to a hetero guy/gal. what i do have a problem with however are the flamboyant people that INTENTIONALLY overdo it all the time. thats not cool, funny, or acceptable. my younger brother and sister dont need to hear about what you did last night in a parking lot. I know its a steryotype, but its people that actually fall into that pit that cause most of the problems for the gay communities as far as i can see. | marriage should be separate from the state as it is a religious act. a non religiousness based marriage needs to exist for all with the same rights. i dont hate gays, i do however hate stereotypical "flamers" for their intentional irresponsible outlandishness. |
t3_18el3b | offmychest | Michelle Jenneke is my ideal mate. | Well, probably not *literally* her, but she's an ideal example of what I want in a mate.
She's beautiful, she's brilliant, she's a geek by choice, she has a great attitude, and yet she's still a private and fairly cynical person when it comes to people. She has physical form and face of a beauty queen, and a mind like a finely honed blade.
Sadly, women like her seem to be exceptionally rare, and those that I encounter are far too jaded to give me a chance at getting to know them. And why should they? I look more like an actor than an engineer, and I dress like I take myself entirely too seriously. If I were in their position, I'd likely scoff and think "That arrogant idiot. He doesn't have two brain cells to rub together."
I get it. I'm the charming guy. It used to be an asset, now it keeps me from connecting with the people I'm most attracted to. Even when I do have the opportunity to speak, first impressions are difficult to do away with.
I wish I could meet someone like Michelle. I wish I could talk to them before they saw what I look like. Maybe it would come as a nice surprise, rather than a subconscious assumption that I'm an idiot. | Men get judged by their appearance, too. |
t3_1tq0k4 | relationships | I [23F] bought my then-boyfriend [25M] his Christmas gifts in early December. He broke up with me, and has left the gifts unopened beneath the tree. Is it wrong to ask for them back? | I purchased and wrapped 3 gifts for my then-boyfriend a few days before our breakup. We were together for 1.5 years and he broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We'd been living together, but I have since moved in with my neighbor in an attempt to create space and distance. I went over to our apartment earlier today to pick up a package, and I saw that he had opened all of his other gifts, but left the ones from me untouched. I wanted him to have them, as I spent time and effort picking them out, but if he isn't going to open/use them, is it wrong for me to ask for them back? Given the fact that he's asked me to find a new place, I could sure use the money... | Now-ex hasn't touched the gifts I gave him before we broke up. Can I ask for them back? |
t3_1eu5me | relationships | Me [M,30] and gf [F, 35] are on an accelerated timeline to commit to each other...but there's a big hitch. Need your help | Backstory:
So my [M,30] and gf [F,35] and I are taking our good, but difficult relationship day by day (see backstory above). We've been dating for 4 months. Sounds short, but seems much longer to us because we spend so much time together. There's a big obstacle preventing us/me from truly moving forward as described in my post linked above. Im working on it with therapy and meds.
I'm moving by the end of the year, across the country.
She's expressed a more than strong willingness to move there with me. But we both have agreed that's basically setting ourselves up for the marriage track (even if we dont get married for a few years). And with her age, we'll also soon (like within 2 years) have to decide our family/kids situation (whether we go the biological path which I might not be ready for per her clock, or adoption which I'm cool with, or just be a cool untethered couple).
We've expressed that we love each other without fully saying it. We're holding off on saying it until I can really say it 100%, without the bug in my head. She's just such a cool girl, my friends think she's awesome, and she treats me great--the best of anyone I've ever been with.
It's a lot to take in and figure out, and I feel just really confused right now about everything. About what to do next, if I can ever really get over the mental hurdle I have, etc ad infinitum.
Does /r/relationships have any sage advice for this conflicted guy? | My gf and I are trying hard to make our relationship of 4 months work. She's great but I'm having trouble getting over her sexual past and on top of it we're on an accelerated timeline to make big decisions because of my pending move at the end of the year. What to do? |
t3_10tjo3 | AskReddit | Hey reddit. When have you had an employee try so hard to upsell you and either embarrass themselves with a story or be unsuccessful? | First time making a thread but I have to share this story.
So I went to the electronic store on my college campus to buy a new case for my iphone4s. (I use shit until it breaks. Had a 3G for the longest time) anyway... I found a cheap phone case for $16 bucks and when I went to purchase it, the woman at the counter asked me if I wanted to buy a $70 waterproof case. I politely told her no. Where as she insisted to try to upsell me by telling me a story about how her uncle knew a guy who worked with someone from apple. She then explained to me that this apple employee said that if her uncle bought the new iPhone4s that he would get a second one for free. This girl decided to then take her uncles phone in its waterproof case and throw it in the pool so she could get a new phone. The phone miraculously worked and I nodded my head and walked with a purchased $16 case. | girl tried to throw uncles phone into the pool to get a new phone for herself and failed |
t3_53cqw4 | tifu | TIFU by eating a MRE | Today I fucked up by eating a bean & rice MRE. I'm in the army, and they issue us these Meals Ready to Eat, which are pretty much dehydrated food that we take to the field. Since it was 0530, I dug around for the candy bits and instant coffee like any sad Joe would. I stumbled across a Snickers Munch bar. Interesting, I've never heard of that before. My half asleep brain took a bite out of this candy, and a old sour taste met my tongue. Instant gag reflex followed by a flash back of all the bad life decisions I've ever made.
Now we've all eaten some gross things. Field food might be worse than most but hey, you get use to it. This was *the worst* thing I've ever subjected my body to.
I take a look at the MRE. It was manufactured in 2013. Three years? No big deal. There's no way that this crusty candy was made three years ago. I take a closer look at the wrapper, now with an alert mind that's been woke the fuck up by the grim reaper himself. I did an image search on my phone to find that this particular wrapper was manufactured in 1996.
NINETEEN NINETY SIX. Apparently when Snickers rebranded from "The Snickers Munch Bar" to just "Munch Bar", they sold out a bunch of old packaging to the army to be later (16 years later) packaged up into an MRE.
Only to be consumed by me three years after that. Thankful for every homemade meal I've ever eaten this morning. | Today I fucked up by eating a 20 year old candy bar. |
t3_cyyo8 | self | Someone almost definitely just broke into my house. They appear to have taken nothing, and have already left. | Short back-story: My parents are gone for the week, and my step-brother left many hours ago for work. He has the troubling tendency to never lock the door, having grown up in a tiny town in northern Michigan, unlike me, who grew up in Metro-Detroit.
I was sitting upstairs, watching To Catch A Predator, minding my own business, when suddenly the TV turned on. I figured it must be my brother, but it sat on static for a few more seconds than seemed normal.
[I know that's an awfully subtle reason to worry, but I didn't see my brother drive up or hear him come in, plus it was a bit too early.]
The TV flipped channels a few times, then stopped on one, I think it was the news. I quietly got up and double-checked out the window to see if my step-brother was home. He wasn't. I crept into my bedroom, got a knife, and quietly stepped downstairs. I stomped the last few steps as a warning, and quickly turned the corner.
This is where the story fails to deliver. No one was there. I carfully searched every room, stepped outside. Nothing.
I have a cat, but the remote was far out of reach [on top of the TV mounted high on a wall].
Is there any logical explanation for this other than a break-in? | An unknown entity channel-surfed downstairs, but disappeared by the time I crept down to identify the perpetrator. |
t3_33kibp | relationships | I (21F) just found out that boyfriend (22M) of just over a year had been updating his online dating profile where we first met. | Not sure what to think of this - maybe I'm being way too suspicious over nothing..
My friend was getting back into the dating scene and I recommended that she try online dating, since that was where I met my current SO. We scrolled around Plenty of Fish and I got curious, and searched up my SO's username. And there it was. His information and about section were updated to say that he was looking for women friends (under the category of 'casual dating, no commitment'), and maybe someone to have drinks with. His tagline said 'looking for a good conversation', and his education section had been changed to 'master's degree', which is current and proves to me that it's been updated recently because he only decided last month that he would be starting a masters (when we met, that section definitely said bachelors, so I know it's changed since then at least). However, his marital status still said single.
Early in our relationship, maybe 1 or 2 months in, we had a conversation about our exclusivity. It's been clear from the start, that we wouldn't see anyone else and he even asked me if i had taken down my dating profile account, and I did because I didn't see any need for it anymore. Somehow I assumed he did the same but I guess not.. | Found my boyfriend's online dating profile updated at least in the last month or so. We have been together exclusively for a little over a year. Not sure what to do with this new knowledge, and it seems a little strange to me... |
t3_zunxf | AskReddit | What was the stupidest "acting w/o thinking" action you've done in the morning? | In the morning, the mind's processing power is at its slowest and sometimes people "act without thinking" and don't realize what they are doing until midway or after the action.
One early morning, I had myself a bowl of cereal in order to not starve during class. Later in the day when I arrived at my apartment, my roommate was eager to show me something he found in the morning. He then opened up the microwave, revealing a whole gallon of milk just sitting there. My roommate then looked at me with a look that said, "Why the fuck would you put the milk in the microwave?" The lazy fuck that it is, my mind finally processed this info into a reason behind the milk. I then proceeded to facepalm, disappointed my my intellectual self. | I put the milk in the microwave. |
t3_3akcru | relationships | I (27/f) can't get over my ex (28/m) and it's been a year. What should I do? | My ex and I dated for over 2 years, but broke up because long-distance is hard. I initiated the break-up, but it was difficult for both of us because we were each other's first serious relationship. We remain friends, but I don't have him on social media, etc.
The break-up happened over a year ago and I can't stop thinking about him. I've talked to him about getting back together, but he said he's "moved on."
I'm currently in therapy and have tried to remain active to take my mind off of him. However, I feel like I will never meet anyone as good as him again. I have an OkCupid profile, but am not currently using it because I'm not home for the summer.
What else can I do? Do you have any suggestions? My big issue is feeling like I'll never meet anyone as sweet and loving as him. | Can't get over ex even though it's been a year since the break-up. |
t3_4gyg3p | relationships | Me [17 M] going to date my crush[16 F] but how do I come out with my disability? | Hey Reddit!
So a long story short, I met this girl on a dating app and we (believe it or not) actually get along really damn well, especially these past two weeks it's been going absolutely outrageous. (Today 10 weeks ago is when I first hit her up too)
Since I know she really really likes me and I adore her so much...
But about 2 hours ago she mentioned that Captain America: Civil War is out and I said that its sad for me since I have nobody to go with. And she doesn't either so she said why don't we go out and watch it together?
I said yes and everything and planned out when and where... Which is this Saturday etc...
Now here's where the bad things come in, when I was two years old, I caught a disease that made me permanently deaf in both ears and now I have to wear a cochlear implant on my left ear to be able to hear the world again...
And I'm just scared to come out and tell her about this because I don't know how she's going to react to it... Because we spoke for such a long time it's like we know so much about each other but she still doesn't know the true me in person... Obviously I'm going to tell her before we meet up because I don't want any awkward surprises and stuff. I'm just confused on him in going to do this and in scared on how she will react... :/
Any suggestions??
Thanks Reddit :)
Aidan | What should I do? |
t3_1opr4m | relationship_advice | [23/F] found out BF [24/m]of 8 mo cheated our first week of dating | Last night my Boyfriend of 8 months told me that he had sex with his ex-fiance the week after we started dating. I was a virgin going into the relationship and he knew that it may take a little bit for me to finally do it but he said he'd wait and wouldn't pressure. I knew about the ex but he also told me he hadn't talked to her or seen her in months and the reason they didnt work was because she cheated on him 6 or 7 times with his best friends. He says it was because he knew we were going to be serious and not just a fling and he wanted "one last revenge fuck."
I didn't know how to react. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with this man but part of me feels like I cant trust him. He apologized profusely and said he regretted it immediately. We live together now and I dont want to end this but I don't know what I should do. | bf of 8 months tells me he cheated on me a week after we started dating with his ex-fiance |
t3_se1zu | AskReddit | Recommendation for a birthday gift for my Mom who we didn't expect to make it to 60 years old. | Here's a bit of background.
::Also, here's a picture of my Mom and I during the Groom & Mother of the Groom dance when I got married on June 18th, 2011::
In 2006 my mom was hospitalized with a very rare disease called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. There is no cure for this disease -- and the best way I can explain is that the blood vessels in her lungs are so closed off that they cannot (without medication) provide oxygen to the rest of the body. They major side effect of this is that the heart will pump extra hard to provide oxygen to the rest of the body -- which slowly enlarges and kills the heart. My mom has been in the CICU 3 times since 2006 and has always bounced back -- her medication that helps her lungs is close to $20,000 a month (it's a pump that provides medication through her body). The outlook for this disease is very grim -- and the end all is either death (eventually, as it wears out the body) or an attempt at a lung and heart transplant (which is just as dangerous). I've had plenty of time to think of something special I could get for her for her birthday, as we never ever thought she would make it this far, but she is far stronger than I, and I love her for it. We've pushed her, supported her, and to this day she is still the same loving Mom I remembered her to be. Her birthday is on the 20th so I don't have 'a lot' of time, but I'm willing to do what I can as fast as I can. | My mom has an incurable terminal disease that she has been fighting since 2006, what do I get her for her 60th birthday as a milestone. |
t3_2z36jz | relationships | Me [26 F] with my ex-boyfriend [39 M] of 7 months: how do you move on from a breakup when there wasn't really anything wrong? | We've been friends for about a year and a half, became close fairly quickly, and started dating about 6 months into knowing each other. 4 months later he moved 12 hours away under financial duress, saying he wanted to come back because of me. We tried to do long-distance for about 3 months, but about a month ago he said he didn't want to continue anymore, mainly because he doesn't know what he'll be doing moving forward professionally, where he'll be living, probably won't be moving back, and feels disconnected with only phone calls and monthly visits.
Now I know there are things about this that sound questionable. First off our extreme age difference, which in this case was never an issue except on paper. Second that we were only dating 4 months at the point he moved: but we had already developed a very strong friendship and the relationship was extremely easy, joyful, tender, and natural; it was just good. Not perfect - but good, and the kinks would likely have ironed out. Third that whether or not someone can vocalize a reason, if he's willing to leave the relationship it must not have been worthwhile enough, and that's problem enough. I don't know about that. We both cried and waffled on saying goodbye and he claimed it was very difficult. Over the course of a month after the breakup, whenever we tried to say 'no talking for X time' neither of us could make it a week without breaking the moratorium and calling.
I'm having a really hard time letting go of this because I feel like it was a really good thing cut short by circumstance alone. He's one of my best friends and I don't know whether to stay in touch or cut contact. I keep fantasizing about sleeping next to him. I don't want to move on, I want to find a way! But another part of me knows this is impossible. So what do I do? | I'm having a hard time moving on from a really good but somewhat short (7 mo.) relationship that ended under the circumstances of long-distance. What advice can you offer? |
t3_3mjhpp | relationships | Me [24 F] with my BF [24 M] of 1.5 years who literally just moved here, can't see a (good) future with him?! Don't wanna be cruel. | I'll do bullets to summarize as best I can.
* Dating since beginning of last summer (LDR)
* Would visit each other every 3 months
* Dad had accident 2 months ago, BF has been very stressed
* I just finished school and am trying to find jobs, also very stressed
* Our relationship took a back seat for last 2 months
* Now I'm no longer attracted to him for various reasons
* He's since moved to the city, in his own place, but has been clingy since he got here
* I don't feel attracted to him any longer because **A)** hasn't properly cared for himself in a while and has gained a lot of weight **B)** has an eating disorder (only eats "safe" foods) that's caused him a lot of health issues, it's treatable but makes dinner dates a labor; it also gives him horrible breath and other things **C)** has no sense of style and often looks frumpy, his clothes are very worn, etc **D)** Is too available sometimes, doesn't give me space
* We have conflicting opinions on drinking/alcohol (I like to socially drink, he hates alcohol) children (He's unsure when or if he'd want them, I'm 100% certain), where to settle down (My job can take me anywhere, he's dead set on NYC), and some other semi-important things.
Since he just moved, he is currently jobless. I'm trying to wait this transition period out and see how things go from there after he gets a job but I find myself more and more unattracted to him (sexually). But I do love him very much, as we are very compatible in 90% of all things. I'm just not sure that I can continue a relationship where is little to no sexual attraction. Even though we are in an open relationship I feel bad that I can't give him sex.
I'm starting to think that long distance was easier because I didn't have to deal with these issues 24/7. Perhaps we aren't compatible in the same city :( | Long distance BF just moved to my city, been having troubles for 2 months, no longer much attracted to him. Is it wrong to break it off because the sparks gone? Can it come back with some work? Or should I cut my losses and try to find someone better suited to me? And how could we be friends afterwards? He's my BFF and I can't imagine life without him. |
t3_2cqhjs | relationships | It has been 5 Years since i [M:25] saw her last | I guess you read this type of posts very often but anyways, i feel like i have to share this with someone and ask for some tips or help. I feel emberased to talk to my friends or parents about it.
I am 25 Years old now. I was in the greatest relationship 5 years ago which lasted about a year. Everything was perfect, when she suddenly started acting weird and i realised, that she was about to break up the relationship (just the way our day went, i felt that we were drifting apart). I was very devestated, when she eventually broke up with me. Now i was 20 back then and as i said, it was five years ago. The problem is... i can't get over her. In those 5 years, everytime i try to start something new, i can't find myself enjoying the company. I almost always think of ways this person isn't like her. A year ago or so i stopped dating women altogether, as i couldn't even find interest in some anyways. I can't seem to find joy in any thing. I finished my bachelor in computer science 3 weeks ago but it was just a day like every other. My question is, what do you guys recomend i should do? How can i get over her, waiting obviously doesn't work... Should i get "professional" help, like from a Psychiatrist? | Can't get over my ex for the past 5 years |
t3_3ke1e6 | relationships | I (25/M) want to become engage with my girlfriend (24/F) but crossing some roadblocks | My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years.
I am ready to buy a ring and be engaged after she's been hinting it for a while now. She is Fujianese and I am Cantonese.
In her Fujianese culture, the sons gets everything. That means her brothers will inherit the house, a rental house, (he already got a lexus car), and whatever antiques or money the family has while the daughter will get basically nothing.
Because of this she's been pressuring me on asking my parents for help to pay for wedding and/or a house. I told her my dad doesn't work and both my brothers still have to go through college so them having money to pay for our stuff is tough.
To make matters worse, she told me in her culture my parents (Or me?) are supposed to give a huge dowry to her parents (Like gold or large sums of cash worth 20-30K$) which we obviously cannot just shell out.
I currently work and have only 8,000$ in savings making 50K/yr.
but even then I disagree with what she said. She even went on to say "Cantonese people are white-washed because you were colonized by Great Britian" so your mentality is different. Granted my parents are upper middle class (parents both were computer engineers/programmers) while her family is lower middle class (her parents own a chinese take out) so I think the concept of money has a different meaning to her. I told her we live in 2015, not 1970 so her "tradition" to give dowry and inheritances doesn't apply.
Her family are very isolated from society. They have limited social interactions with other people since they work all the time and because of this their "views" are very outdated
I'm about to give her an ultimatum before I make a huge mistake in the future. Any insights/suggestions, advice on what I can do? | Girlfriend wants to get engage, pressuring me to ask money from parents to pay for wedding/ house which my parents do not have. About to give her ultimatum |
t3_4ei4un | relationships | Me [17 M] with my ex-GF [17 F], were in a 1+ year relationship - broke up around 2 months ago, have to see her every day at school with another guy and I can't move on | Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago after mutually agreeing that our relationship probably wouldn't last after we both go off to college ( we both have entirely different prospects for our futures and are planning on going to different universities) as we knew a LDR wouldn't work between us. Even though we broke up I was (and am, I guess) very much in love with her and it hurt really badly to have to agree to end the relationship.
So here I am now, having not moved on at all and thinking about her and our relationship constantly, how it didn't have to end (even though I know deep down it had to). And I guess she's moved on because 3 weeks after the breakup she got with her best guy friend.
We all go to the same school, so, every day no matter if I'm at the common room, work room or library I end up seeing them together doing all the cute stuff we used to do together and it really hurts me down to my very soul.
Recently we were off school for two weeks and after not seeing her or her boyfriend for a while, by the end of the two weeks I felt much better and I was convinced I'd finally managed to move on.
However the first day back I had to see her and him together again and all that development I'd done over the break just shattered. I ended up going outside and sitting somewhere on my own for the rest of the day (they walked past me, it's like a ghost haunting me).
I'm sure other people have gone through similar situations. But this was my first real relationship and I have no idea whatsoever on how I'm supposed to deal with this. I can't understand how she was able to move on but I can't, I feel just as bad as I did the first day of the breakup now. I have no idea what to do and it feels like I'll be like this forever. Do I just need more time? I have exams coming up and I'm worried my emotions will affect my studying, and I would hate myself if i let that happen. | Me and my ex-gf broke up 2 months ago, 3 weeks later she got with a guy, I see them together every day and I feel immense overwhelming sadness every single day and it's ruining me |
t3_3euw1h | tifu | TIFU by getting my friends to think I have a BDSM fetish | *This did happen today. I am using a throwaway*
This summer, I am taking a chemistry class that is composed of about 15 girls and 5 guys (me being one of them). This after noon, we were setting up a lab; the way our lab tables are, there are four seats, two on one side and two across the table. My lab partner (a guy) and I set up our lab, while the two girls across from us set up their own.
This is the good stuff now. We were all talking about movies when someone brought up the Fifty Shades Of Grey movie. I have never seen the movie or read the book, but from what I know, there are some BDSM scenes. Well, one of the girls said she had only seen the movie, while the other one said she had read the book and seen the movie. When I heard this, I casually leaned over to my lab partner and said in a sarcastic voice, "Umm, that's hot." My lab partner looks over and smirks, while the girls thought I was being serious. Within five minutes, what was meant to be a poor excuse for a joke is now being spun into a tale of my BDSM fetish (nothing against it, just not my thing). Now all the guys crack jokes about it, and the girls think I'm crazy.
I will now long in my mistake... | My friends now think I am fifty shades of fucked up. |
t3_149q4z | relationships | Does my Ex still have feelings for me? | After a mutual break up with my girlfriend (23) of about four months she and I went to lunch over Thanksgiving break to catch up. The lunch was normal, like lunch between friends. After I had walked her to her car though and we chatted for a bit longer she pulled me into a long hug, sighing into my shoulder twice before pulling back and giving me a little shake and smiling at me. I'm just wondering if she still has feelings for me? Because as a guy (20) I was a tad confused. Or am I just looking at it incorrectly? | My ex's actions hint that she may still have feelings for me, any thoughts? |
t3_3crwrq | relationships | Should I [26m] tell the girl I'm seeing that I'm moving across the country in two months? | I've been best friends with this girl since high school. I recently moved back home and she has been hinting that she's into me (we flirt a lot touch, cuddle, makes remarks about us being together in the future etc.) but I'm reluctant to take it any further.
Additionally, she dated my best friend, Andy, in college while I was out west. I love my friend to death but I know he is a negging asshole and I'm ashamed that she fell for him since I know how he is with women. (they eventually broke up because he cheated on her numerous times)
I have an amazing opportunity to go out west in a couple months and haven't told anyone. I dunno why I don't want to tell anyone but if I tell her (we live in a very small town) everyone will know. I also don't want to lead her on knowing that I'll be gone.
So not only do I have the negging asshole ex bf in the back of my mind I know I am going to move in a couple months. Should I try to pursue her and make moves or be real and tell her I am moving soon and only stay friends? We definitely have a lot of chemistry and I've always had a thing for her but I can't shake the fact that she dated Andy and that I'm about to move.
Anyone else have issues with your SOs past bfs/gfs and gotten over it? | Falling in love with my best friend but there's bagge from her previous relationship and I will be moving across the country in a couple months. Not sure whether to tell her and just stay friends or pursue her. |
t3_36b5fg | relationships | I [26F] need advice regarding my boyfriend's [26M] evil estranged mother [60s?F] | I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. After a few months of being together his mother started interfering, saying we were moving too fast, and tried her hardest to break us up when he ignored her. When she failed, she disowned my boyfriend. I feel utterly like it's my fault, even though I know I was just the straw that broke the camel's back. So the first issue is that I can't stop feeling like it's my fault. Even my boyfriend says it's not, and it's for the best. I'm also scared, and feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder in case she comes after me.
His mother made threats against us both, if she ever saw me again she'd beat me up, etc etc. My boyfriend recently asked his sister if she could pick up some things from his mothers house that he had left there. His mother said that my boyfriend would need to wait until she had packed them up, and then she would let him know when to get them (NB they aren't in contact, but he has the same phone number etc as before). My boyfriend can't drive, and he doesn't want to involve his friends. Plus, it would be a 2+ hour drive, so it's a big ask of someone. The obvious option is that I drive.
On the one hand, I'd like to be there to make sure that my boyfriend doesn't get manipulated again, as she has done it so many times and he's almost conditioned to do what she says. I'd also like to be there to protect him and call the cops if necessary. On the other hand, me being there might inflame the situation. I would literally sit waiting in my car while my boyfriend picked up his things and loaded it up.
What should I do? | Bf's mother disowned him because of me - I was the final straw in his disobedience. I feel guilty. Also, he wants me to go with him to her house to pick up some things. I'm conflicted and scared. |
t3_1eiik4 | loseit | Did anyone lose weight eating a lot of vegan foods? | After seeing a few documentaries - "Earthlings" and "Forks over knives" in particular - I have been inspired to try a vegan diet. From lurking around here for a while, I have also been inspired to finally try and lose 30 pounds of fat I put on over the last ten years.
So. Does anyone in here have recommendations about vegan weight loss? What are good foods that keep appetite at bay, while giving me enough energy to run a few days a week? I absolutely love nuts and fruits, but realize these may not be ideal when trying to lose fat. | bring on the vegan weight loss foods! |
t3_4wjy7z | relationships | Me [20 F] have a crush with a guy [19 M] for the last 8 months and he liked my picture on facebook! | I might be over analyzing everything, there's a guy in my school who I like a lot. Just in the moment I propose myself to forget about him, he appears somehow.
He and I are friends on facebook. Today I posted this picture where I am with a friend, I think she is prettier than me. We both smiled in a very natural way. I might not look very good in pictures, but in that picture my expression it is very soft and happy. I look cute, I think haha.
Few people liked the picture and he was one of them. I don't understand he knows about my feelings and he don't care and well I understand that this has to be an unrequited love.
In school he always avoids me, but then he come and like my picture.
It might be he don't dislike me that much?? I know a like it's nothing, but he perfectly knows how I feel! How much I like him. This is the third like I had got from him. This confuses me!
I have asked him for forgiveness, for having these strong feelings! And I have promised him to not bother him in any way, also.
Thanks a lot, and God bless. | Guy a like from school, knows that I like him, and he avoids me and Ignore me, but he liked a picture of my facebook, where I am with a friend, and where I am smiling very naturally. |
t3_40mvy3 | askwomenadvice | New ideas for sexy-time with my gf? [f/22] | Hey all, I, (male, 22), have been in a serious relationship with my gf (who is 22 yo just like me) for a few months now, we're both sexually active and we've been together many times.
However she says she would like to do something new, she once mentioned a 3-some but then she felt very ashamed and promised never to speak of the topic again (perhaps we will but I'm not 100% interested).
I believe 3-some is out of the table (for now), I don't really think I'd feel confortable with another woman on my bed, and even less with another man. I'd have to think about very seriously.
TBH We've been very *normal*, we've tried a few positions, missionary, spoon and once we tried to do it doggy but we stopped because she said she couldn't take it all yet.
So my question here is what new ideas can you give to a young couple who wants to do kinky stuff? | We want to try kinky stuff, 3-some out of the table, ideas? :) |
t3_3whf7x | relationships | Husband [35m] and I [33f] got into huge argument via text. Says leaving him behind (to pick kids up after school ) is the worst thing to do to him, and I don't acknowledge his feelings. | Husband has a disability, and memory issues. I deal with depression. We both have anger issues. We both knew of our issues prior to dating each other, as we were best friends. We are happily married, but when we get angry we explode.
I took a nap. I overslept (didn't have phone/ alarm), I shot out of bed and stormed off. Husband was finishing up shower, asked for me to wait. It was twenty minutes after pick up time for kids, I said no and left. He said leaving him behind is the worst thing to do to him. This ignited the huge argument. Will post text links in comments.
He wanted me to post this to see if he is in the wrong.
Divorce is not an option for neither of us. We both love each other very much. We need to know where we went wrong, and how to avoid heated arguments in the future. How do we deal with our anger issues in a positive manner? | Husband and I need to learn how to argue postively without getting angry. |
t3_4201cl | relationships | Am I an asshole for wanting to dump someone because they can't get it up? | I'm a 22 year old female and I've been seeing this 26 year old guy for two months now. He has been an exceptionally sweet guy, except for a few things but no one is perfect! But, every time we have tried to get it on, he can't get it up, at all. I know this is a sensitive issue for guys and I don't want to question his "manhood' or anything, but this last time he put the responsibility of getting it up on me. He kept telling me things I needed to do to get him hard. I was willing to work with him and did some things I have never done before just to help him! But at what point is it okay for me to say this sucks? I feel like I'm a little young to be dealing with this issue and I feel like there is almost no discussion out there about this issue to help me.. Am I an asshole for wanting to cut off our new relationship to avoid this inevitable issue? I've always been very fond of sex. I don't mind not having it for a while, but the things he wants me to do in the bedroom to get him hard are just not my style, and I can't go forever without some loving.
I just can't decide if I'm a total asshole for cutting things off just because bedroom issues. | boy and girl just started dating. Boy can't get it up. Is it okay to end things just because of that? |
t3_1cat4s | relationships | I'[m] 22 and I have feelings for a 17 [f]riend with benefit... | As my reddit name suggest it, I'm french so my typo might be ruining your day. I apologize in advance.
So there's this girl, we met through work and I started going out with her while she had a boyfriend. She was only looking for sex in this relationship and she made that very clear.
However, during March she starting to act more "girlfriendly" by putting "<3" and such in her messages, the tone was more cute etc. Also, she dump'd her boyfriend. So I started to get attached (not in love but could have)... She made very clear that she didn't want anything another time.
NOW the situation of March-April was : I tried to see her, she always had excuses "I work a lot" "I'm off ski-ing"... . I didn't harass her btw, I asked her mb once a week, if she was available. Not the creep guy, I was keeping maximum distance not to "piss her" off or anything. So yeah we didn't see each other for a month, we spoke way less than before.
Today I took a big step and... decided to delete her. I felt treated like crap while I was doing a lot to please her. I invited her to movies, taking food, I was always driving to get her etc. So yeah, a few hours ago I deleted her from everything, I don't want to hear about her anymore. Upon deleting her, she texted a little and she really doesn't change her mind. She said I "agreed" to have low priority in her life, hence the fact that we didn't spoke or see each other for a month. HOWEVER, she was sending messages like "I miss you, and not sex, like you Firmin :(" and... God I feel like she was playing with my feelings.... | Started a "friend with benefit" relationship with a girl... she started acting more girlfriendly so I kind of got attached and then we almost stop messaging or seeing each other for one month. Now I deleted her, am I right in this ? |
t3_2z77z1 | offmychest | Dr. told me I'm killing myself but I don't see it as motivation to change. | I briefly posted about this on r/depression.
Long story short, I've got some hereditary issues that just came to light and the doctor told me that I need to start taking them seriously. I've got to commit to a strict diet and exercise regimen. Not adhering *greatly* increases the chance that I'll see an early grave due.
I've always struggled with severe depression and have been medicated for about 10 years. That being said, I fight the disease and its intrusive thoughts daily. Hearing that I can expect my life to be shorter just doesn't really seem...that bad I guess... I don't know. I'm mad at myself for not wanting to change to stay alive.
My husband is really pissed that I'm making no progress. The thing esthete I want to be alive for him and my future kids and the family that's counting on me. I'm just not really interested in staying alive for myself.
It sucks. I have a wonderful life. The depression makes it feel like I don't appreciate it enough. I can barely get out of bed on most days and the threat that I won't have to fight that anymore just doesn't really seem like a threat at all.
Thanks for listening. | Dr. said to shape up or I'd see an early grave but depression is keeping me from seeing that as a bad thing. |
t3_veoc0 | AskReddit | What are women's REAL take on sexuality? | I think it's odd how men and women look at sex so differently. Most men are pretty open about it, while most women are not. Another way men and women are different is our approach to how we deal with our own emotions. Women are taught to be vocal about how they feel, while men are taught to repress it, because we're subconsciously trying to preserve out masculinity and consequently give ourselves an illusion of invulnerability. So my question is: Do women repress their sexuality to subconsciously preserve their femininity and consequently make it seem like they have the shit-end of the stick when it come to interacting with the opposite sex? (I know, sounds dirty given the context)
The reason I ask this is because I've noticed that the stereotype of emotionless men, despite a small kernel of truth to it, is ultimately false. Maybe the same thing applies to the stereotype of prudish women? | I think prudish women are more a result of cultural habits, not biological. Just like insensitive men. Am I right or am I wrong? |
t3_wwnm4 | self | Turned on tv to a drama serial I never watched before | A man(I call him M) and a woman(I call her W), are trapped in a house. Another man(I call him M2) came in to free the both of them. M and W told M2 to get out of the house too. M2 refused.
Outside, a old woman(I call her OW) (around 60 years old) is pressing a button on a device. She wants to create an explosion/trigger a bomb in the house. She keeps pressing but nothing happens. M and W are searching for OW and calling out to her now, wanting her to stop as M2 is inside.
Just as M and W found OW, OW dropped the device on the ground and step on it. The house exploded. M and W screamed for M2. OW realise on the spot that she did not kill M and W and that M2 might be killed. OW starts to regret/become sad. M,W and OW head back to the house.
Though the house has went down with the fire, M2 is still there, as a whole, unconscious. M and W went to M2's side. A police car approaches the scene. Knowing that M2 might still be alive, OW flees. | Just a weird TV show. |
t3_1dq22x | dating_advice | I [19]M am getting majorly mixed messages from [20]F, need advice | I met this girl around a month ago, which was about a week after she had broken up with her boyfriend of 10 months (she was the dumper).
Most of the time when we are together she gives strong signals that she is interested in me, and she is always keen to hang out on a regular basis. However she has made it quite clear to me a few times that she is not interested in guys at the moment.
Normally with something like that I would just move along,
But she is something special, so is there any advice on how to get her to go along with how she seems to feel and stop holding back?
Or is perhaps patience the best option? | Girl gives me signals shes interested constantly, says she isn't after that at the moment. How can I convince her to go with how I think she feels or is patience the way to go? |
t3_y4n2t | AskReddit | Small NC Retailer HELP with a troubling consumer - Question regards NC return of sale law! | I was Sir-Lurk-Alot but now I'm posting because I have a confusing, saddening issue with a customer. So, Reddit, let's see what you know about NC retail laws!
I'll save on the incredibly detailed account of the sale in question but I am a small business retail stereo-shop owner that recently had a client purchase a system, paid for by check, that was fairly expensive by anyone's standards.
The client in this case was the male counterpart of a husband and wife duo, who wanted a nice music system for their new second home near our store. He is a very busy guy who flies all over the world for business and they are what could be called "crazy wealthy" - which is fine. I have customers of all kinds and I try to respect everybody, regardless of their budget.
The wife allowed him to spend this money on a system he agreed to - and she even wrote the final check herself. Now that the husband is away, the check has posted and the equipment has been ordered, she is raising hell by email with myself about the cost of the system.
I was led to believe that the husband was choosing to treat himself and that outside of some aesthetic concerns, the wife wanted nothing to do with the whole affair. She genuinely just doesn't care and outside of her Ipad is kind of unfriendly towards the idea of a technological marvel inside her house. The husband really put her concerns first but stayed firm that this was something he was interested in and we produced a very thorough line-item invoice that he approved of, prior to purchase. | My question is this - In North Carolina, if a client has you design a system and purchases the products from you with a check, even going so far as to provide email confirmation that they are happy to remit payment what legal right do they have to force a return? I want to work with this client to ensure they are happy but if she tries to sue the hell out of me or contest the sale what are my rights as a retailer? |
t3_3hxw7l | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] one year, I have trust issues, found something in his email. | Last night I looked through my boyfriends email. I have been his girlfriend for almost a year and I can't get past my trust issues. Well something was telling me to look and I'm sorry I did.
I found that he was posting on Craigslist personals men seeking men. He posted something like "married straight just looking for jack off or more" and actually chatted with a few men. It doesn't seem like he actually met up with anyone but he sent pictures of himself.
Now I don't know what to do. I haven't told him I know. We have big plans to build a future together. We are planning on getting married and having a baby. He watches my daughter while I work, and has been an amazing father figure to her. I need advice please. | Found men seeking men email he posted and chatted with other men. How do I confront that? |
t3_18ha6d | relationship_advice | I [m22] love my girlfriend [f26] but I can't stop thinking about other women! | My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months and we both love each other and share the most intimate and "magical" relationships we both have ever been in. Shes beautiful, my best friend and she does a lot for me. Our sex is beyond words and we live together now and each day is very special in it's own way. The only problem is, i feel like going out and having all kinds of crazy sex with all kinds of girls- I feel sexually charged and I cannot stop thinking about having sex with other women. every time I see a girl who I find attractive I just cant stop thinking about having sex with her in all kinds of kinky ways. Don't get me wrong, I have NEVER cheated on her, but I feel really guilty and I dont know what to do because I am so happy with her! She gets very jealous easily and the truth is I do to, so when I brought it up it really hurt her feelings, even though I assured her that I had only fantasized about it. She felt horrible and I felt like a total piece of shit for making her feel that way. I don't want her to feel like she isnt good enough because she is all I have ever wanted and more- so I don't know what to do. I feel like my sexual feelings towards other women are a part of me, but the love and sex I have with her are not connected, and that they come from a much higher, more important and even family oriented place. Hopefully someone here can offer some advice since I don't know what to do with myself! If I'm being a total jerk please tell me and just be honest, I really need it! Advice from all genders and kinds of relationships GREATLY appreciated. Thank you so much! | I love my girlfriend so much but I feel really guilty because I cant stop thinking about other women. |
t3_1lqjkp | relationship_advice | How do I (24/f) talk to my very reluctant SO (23/m) about money? | My boyfriend and I very recently started living together. We've been together for 2.5 years. I just found out he's been hiding a $3K loan from me (on top of the $5K loan I already had to push him to pay off). He has a good paying job (I'm currently unemployed, as I just finished school and moved to a new city).
Money really freaks him out. He loves to see how much he's made, but also spends frivolously. I can also spend my money (when I was making it), but I always knew I could pay for what I was buying and am very aware of my finances. He doesn't even look at his bank statements or at past-due bills - some of which have already been sent to collections.
How can I approach financial issues in a way that wont sound like I'm hounding him? I recognize that I too have been in the wrong and I want us to work together to be financially stable.
Side note: I've also made an appointment at my bank for next week to sit down with someone to discuss finances in general, so that I have the knowledge to bring forward to the relationship. | My boyfriend refuses to talk about our finances. I think it's very important. How do I approach him about it? |
t3_424plr | relationships | My [31M] brother-in-law [23M] wants to fuck my wife [29F]. | *Sorry, I'm not sure if this is a good place to post this.*
I am 31M, my wife is 29F, my brother-in-law is 23M.
I came home tonight from work to find my wife awake and needing to talk to me (she's usually asleep, I work night shifts).
She told me that earlier today, her brother (he's actually her half-brother) texted her, telling her he wanted to have sex with her. After a few replies of "are you joking/what are you talking about/etc.?" he absolutely proposed that they have sex. His reasoning was, "it could bring us closer together".
My wife was disgusted and freaked out about the whole thing and he dropped it after a few "are you sure you don't want to?" messages. She hasn't talked to him since. Bro-in-law is also engaged and bought a house with his fiancee, fyi.
My wife is understandably very upset. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to see him the same and thinks she might have lost her relationship with him forever. I think she probably feels pretty violated, too.
I don't even know how I feel. I feel like I should be extremely pissed and/or freaking out, but the whole situation is so surreal. It doesn't even feel like it's happening, like it's the kind of thing that would never happen to you.
It doesn't help that we'll be seeing him at a family function on Saturday.
My wife doesn't want me to tell anyone. I think she's ashamed and embarrassed. I think she feels like it might be her fault for some reason (even though she absolutely didn't do anything to cause this). I also feel like his fiancee deserves to know.
I'm not exactly sure what the point of this post was. I guess does anyone have any advice? Has anyone ever gone through something like this before? | Brother-in-law wants to fuck my wife, she's disgusted and upset and is worried she's lost her relationship with him forever. |
t3_qlbkj | AskReddit | Reddit, you know about cats. Why is my cat being retarded (and possibly murderous)? | I live with my family and two cats - brothers. They're okay I guess. The orange tabby is pretty chill and likes to sit in boxes all day. Not a very personable sort, but nevertheless friendly. The grey tabby is a bit more people-oriented, by which I mean "doesn't crawl into a box for days on end and actually makes an appearance once in a while."
However, the grey tabby is acting very strange towards me specifically. I don't pay any more or less attention to him than anyone else in the house. I don't feed him, play with him, or talk to him like a crazy cat owner more or less than anyone else in the house.
Nevertheless, he likes to rub up against my legs.
Okay, so that's a normal cat thing. Problem is, he *really* likes to rub up against my legs. Like, every time I take a step, he will run in front of me and start rubbing again. A lot of accidental cat-kicking has been the inevitable result, yet he remains unperturbed in his mission to apparently trip and kill me.
I've tried humoring him, seeing if he's trying to herd me somewhere, but nope. He just keeps circling around and around my legs.
It's gotten a bit worse lately, because now he'll rub all over my feet too and kinda grab at them with his paws. Also, he kneads when he's doing all this. It's a bizarre combination of walking and kneading at the same time.
Tonight I tried to walk faster than he could catch up with me and made it halfway up the stairs before he was in front of me again, rubbing all over my legs, and purring, like... aggressively. Like, "damn it, you *will* be my best friend" sort of thing.
Why has my cat singled me out for this? Has this happened to anybody else? Can I do anything before my inevitable death at the paws of a cat running in front of me as I go downstairs? | cat keeps walking in front of me like a maniac |
t3_37rjji | relationships | [17F] "dated" a guy [18M] for a few weeks and changed my mind about him stupidly. Don't know what to do to reconcile. | So I'm a junior in high school. He's a senior. We've been friends this entire year and he's liked me from the beginning except for I was in a long term relationship. That ended it January and we started to have a thing in April. I was so happy with him but I was so hung up on my previous boyfriend and wanted something exactly like him so I was very distant.
I guess he considered us to be dating while I was not on the same page because I was uncomfortable and unsure of what I wanted. Lack of communication. I had no idea he thought that.
My friends also ended up playing a part. They didn't like him a whole lot because he didn't "fit in" and wasn't like my ex. So I had another friend that came to a party of mine. They kept pushing me and pushing me to give this guy a chance and I didn't really give in but I wasn't backing off his advances, which was wrong of me. I sat on his lap while playing super smash bros. That was really it. I thought I liked this new kid because he was like my ex. So in the midst of a mental breakdown a few days later, I ended it and went to the new guy. My "boyfriend?" heard that I sat on his lap so he wasn't happy. I quickly realized a few days later that I made the wrong decision and was chasing my ex through a different person.
I don't know what to do. I've thought on it for a long time and realized I'm not going to find someone like my ex and nor should I. The first guy and I were wonderful together. We still talk and have class together but it's not the same and he's still sour. I don't know how to reconcile with him without coming on so strong and sounding like an idiot. I went to him a few weeks after everything and apologized and admitted how stupid I was and that I still have feelings for him and all he said was "cool."
I'm a complete and utter idiot and any advice is welcome. | I wasn't sure if I was dating this guy, stupidly went to another guy because he was like my ex, and realized how stupid I was. Looking for ways of reconciliation. |
t3_1ryveu | tifu | TIFU by obsessing about my Cake Day. | I had been looking forward to today for forever. I thought about it too much. Way too much. I couldn't decide on what to post. I went back and forth between pictures of my friend's pets and trying to come up with terrible puns. Everything I posted got downvoted. So I deleted them and held my head in shame. I finally come up with the idea to post, "I have nothing to post" in the /r/notinteresting sub. Which, now that I've processed a whole thought I realize it's probably been done before, but it was the only thing I could come up with. Anyway, I go to post it, and my cake's not there. I freaked out like, "WHERE'S MY CAKE?!" It was only 9pm when I posted it, and I thought I still had 3 more hours. I guess it must be on the server's time, which is fair enough, but a warning would have been nice. I feel like I missed my prom or something, and I'm an adult. I'm just really disappointed in myself over this whole thing, including how much I care about the karma I missed out on. This TIFU is taking it full circle. | My cake's gone. |
t3_4tntcl | relationships | I (19m) am having trouble coping with my cheating ex girlfriend (18f) of 1 year | So about two weeks ago, my girlfriend and I got in a big argument, which led to her admitting she cheated on me. I told her we are done and deleted her number.
So I was really upset for about 2-3 weeks, and last night I decided to message her and ask if we could talk because I didn't feel comfortable leaving things on such bad terms. We met up today, and she admitted to cheating on me with two other guys.
She showed no remourse at all, and acted like she didnt care whatsoever the entire time we talked. I don't even recognize this person anymore, but we agreed to still be friends.
I haven't really had an appetite since our first fight, and I just feel like laying on the couch all day. Time seems to drag on so I just sleep to pass the time. I start college in a month, but until then I don't really have contact with any people besides my family. Any advice you guys could give me would be appreciated. | girlfriend cheated on me three times, not sure how to deal with it. |
t3_2d9pgd | Parenting | Should I be concerned? Low weight, short, and not as verbal as I was told he should be... | My son just turned 2 in June. He is a smart little booger and keeps us on our toes. I always thought he was perfect until I went to his 18 month check-up and was told he was too small and that he should be talking more. After that appointment, I started comparing him to other toddlers his age and realized he was behind. He communicates in all ways possible except not much verbally. Momma, Daddy, Nana, yes, this, and don't are all he says, though I feel this is just due to us giving in to what we know he is trying to say. I am not worried so much about his talking as I am about his weight... at 25 months he is a tiny 22-23 lbs! He was 19-20 lbs at a year :-( Other toddlers his age are at or around 30 lbs.
We have been struggling to get him to eat. He nibbles and picks at his food. He is very picky about textures and won't eat anything slimy, mushy, or anything strange in general. Even if I make his favorite foods (which really has hardly any nutritional value like mac n' cheese or pancakes) he eats so little it stresses me out! I don't force him to eat and let him come back later if he decides he is hungry to nibble on it some more. We always make sure he eats with us, and if we are eating outside of the normal meal time, he will munch on what we are having as long as he likes it. His regular babysitter makes sure he eats eggs, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, and a protein shake to help with his weight but even that doesn't seem to be helping. Am I going about this all wrong? Any tips and suggestions are much appreciated! We were told to enroll him in an Early Learning program for his speech, but I think we will wait on that until he is closer to 3. I am mostly concerned about his weight. | 2 year old is a tiny 23 lbs and doesn't talk as much as we were told he should. Any suggestions on how to try to catch him up?? Anyone else experience this? |
t3_33hlxj | relationships | [26/m] I think I'm getting cheated on again after ~8 months [23/f]. Should I just expect it at this point? | I've been cheated on a few times before. My first GF in high school cheated on me after a year. I had to break off a three year relationship with a girl when I was 22, after I found her FB messages. Overall I think there was one time where a relationship of mine ended that was not due to infidelity.
When I'm in an exclusive relationship I keep it that way, maybe people pick up this and play me for a fool. Maybe I am, I don't know. After the last relationship ended 3 years ago I've was trolling around bars looking for one-night stands to meet my needs. Its wasn't really satisfying, and successes were few and far between so I ended up meeting this girl and hitting it off, and we've been together since.
I started noticing the signs earlier than I'd admit, originally I thought I was paranoid because its happened before, but you can only ignore so many unexplained nights out, or the sudden influx of all these old friends I've never heard of.
Compounding this I've recently heard some pretty depressing shit from some other girls. An old friend of my sister got drunk with us not long ago and was literally bragging about how often she can go out and cheat on her boyfriend and get away with it. Another woman at an office party told me about how groups of her married friend will go out drinking and **take off their wedding rings** halfway through the night.
Is this a common theme nowadays? Has it always been like this? Should I just expect my relationships to end this way? Does it stop when people get older? Maybe its not helping that I'm reading shit like [Why cheating is good] (saying women SHOULD be cheating) and [this shit] saying 40-70% of people are cheaters.
I just feel like a mess right now and I feel depressed that my best option seems to be banging drunk chicks every few weeks and never talking to them again. | Feeling like I should just expect to get cheated on at this point. Am I losing my mind or is this really the case? |
t3_4gehdx | relationships | How to get over your best friend while staying best friends? | Basically I [21 M] have been friends with this girl [20 F] since high school, going into last year of uni now. Over the years it's gone from not having feelings, to having a crush (I always thought she was attractive), and then as we became pretty much best friends and especially over the past year I've pretty much fallen in love with her to the point that I think about her all the time.
There were always random hookups over the years with other people and what not for both of us, but I always got over it somehow whenever she did, mainly because it wasn't actually a thing. But over the past couple weeks there has been a guy she likes and has started kinda seeing, and it's starting to ruin me. I can't stop thinking about them together, and when I'm with her and see her texting him I get depressed. Just the feeling in general that she likes someone that much and it's not me is killing me
But even with this, I still do care about her so much and love her as a person. I have tons of fun with her otherwise and she's always the person I've gone to with problems and what not, and I'm going through some stuff right now which is making this even harder since when I go to her now I just keep thinking about her and that guy. I guess I always knew this time would come, but I don't know what to do now that it has.
So basically, is there any way or methods people have used to get over someone like this, but still stay as best friends? Or is it just impossible without me being constantly depressed and cutting communication or distancing myself is the only way? | In love with best friend. She's starting to see another guy. Is there any way possible to get over her and stay best friends? |
t3_3g5ez8 | relationships | Should I (21F) get back together with my ex (20M) | My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. We met in high school and everything was perfect until about two years in. His mother decides to ship him off to become a model. I'm happy for him but sad that it ends our relationship. He says no let's try and make it work.
To my surprise he is faithful and continues to stay with me. He decides modeling isn't for him though, and moves to Wyoming because his friend lives there and has a job for him. We argue a lot. Long distance is no joke. Plus without the intimacy it just doesn't seem worth it. After fighting and him being totally unreasonable telling me I need to move and not go to college and blah blah I tell him to never contact me again.
We've broken up before and although I know it's unhealthy, we usually get back together. This time I was serious but about 2 months into it I text him and he lets me know he still loves me but he already slept with someone else.. Ok I'm hurt but whatever. Let's get back together. I then tell him I kissed someone and he completely changes tune. Saying I can't be with you anymore after knowing that.. Um okay? So we go our separate ways once again after re-opening old wounds.
About a month later he calls me crying on the phone saying he can't stop thinking about me and desperately wants me back. At this point I've already moved on and found someone else. He proceeds to tell me he'll move back home in a second if I'll be with him. He'll do ANYTHING to make it up to me and he regrets everything! But he also slept with another girl. I guess she played him and had a bf on the side so yeah but whatever. Why is he coming back to me? Should I take him back? I can get over that he slept with someone else but why not after the first girl did he realize his mistake? Does he think I'm a safe bet that won't hurt him? I'm not sure.. I do still love him but I could be fine without him also. I did always secretly hope he'd come back and realize what he lost.. Please help! | We breakup, he sleeps with two girls, then calls and wants to get back together? |
t3_4kshws | relationships | I[25M] am panicking right now because I'm about to lose the woman[33F] of my life | So, I've been with here for almost 7 years, we met when we both were student in america, she is Japanese and I'm from Belgium.
We could overcome the long distance during all the time and we met a lot of time during those 7 year, me going to Japan or her coming here.
Our relationship was close to perfect when we are together but became really bad when we were not, about 3 months ago during a call, she said she was tired of us not going forward ( as in getting married and living together for good.
So she wanted to break up, it already happened before but I wasn't that worry as everytime we meet again we could fix everything, last month she came to belgium but for the first time I realized that this time she was serious, and I know that the reason is that she met someone in Japan that even though she had no feeling toward he said all the thing she wanted me to say to her (get married, have a baby)
The thing is I didn't want to do that because I was still a student with no money, or right now I have a really good job and I'm ready for everything.
I bought an airplane ticket to go there in June because I want to fix everything but she said that if I go there she isn't going to meet me....
I really can't lose her. I'm ready to do anything, how can I show her that I'm serious, how can I tell her to meet me, I'm so lost and I'm panicking because I feel like she is just going to go with this other guy that just doesn't even love (her words) just because he said what she wanted to hear. And I'm sure that if he wasn't there, we would still be together...
And it's really hard to compete as he is there and I'm here... I feel like June is my last chance and I don't want to mess it up. What can I do when she say she doesn't even want to meet me...
Help.. | I'm panicking over losing the woman I love and I feel like I only have a small chance if any to fix it |
t3_13sltj | relationships | My SO[25M] and I[25F] have recently had several 3 ways with the same person[20F]. Will this ruin our relationship? | My SO[25M] and I[25F] have been together for four years, We are happy, have an already great sex life and share on odd sense of humour.
We had always talked about having a MFF three way as it has always been a fantasy of mine to fuck a woman and luckily for me a fantasy of his to watch me.
The first time it happened was Halloween. I met her[20F] that night my SO had met her a few times previously through mutual friends. There was a large group of us all drunk and dressed up and having a great time.
from the get go she and I got along very well and it wasn't very long before she was all over me. The drinks were flowing so she admitted silly things to me like having always fancied my SO then when I walked in realising that he was punching above his weight and that I was incredibly beautiful. We very publicly got it on in the club and then all come back to mine and my SO flat.
The sex was amazing, she is amazing and her body AMAZING. It was quite scary how comfortable we all were with each other the next day all just laying around naked stroking each other an talking about our lives.
It has happened twice since then every time involving us very publicly and openly taking her home after a party. The second time was all about me and her my SO didn't get a look in for almost two hours but we made up for that.
The third time I was so drunk I passed out almost as soon as we got home and do not know what happened between them and it makes me feel quite sick. My SO tells me they didn't fuck each other they just cuddled and fondled and I do believe him.
So this is why I ask my question is there any way this can go on with out either me or him getting hurt or it becoming messy? at the moment my jealousy is under wraps which is mad because previously I have been an incredibly jealous person.
Just to add [20F] has a boyfriend of her own that lives away due to her being at university. | My SO[25M] and I[25F] have had several MFF three ways with the same person[20F]. If this continues will it ruin our relationship? |
t3_13ghn7 | relationship_advice | My gf wakes me up everytime on my day off when she works to make her coffee...this annoys me. Is that wrong? | I usually work night shifts but from time to time on my days off when ever my gf spends the night if she works she will wake me up early hell and ask me to make her coffee as she gets ready or continues sleeping. I find this incredibly annoying because in a way I perceive the attitude she gives off as "well, if I have to wake up then everybody has to wake up because its not fair". So when I finally get to sleep a normal night and want to sleep in a little in the morning she wakes me up and start talking for days on end and interrupts my sleep. She catches my sense of annoyance and says things like "you don't love me" or "fine don't do anything" and treat me cold for the entire day. So in order to avoid such stupid arguing I make the coffee,which I understand is a quick process but it wakes me up and I cannot go back to sleep peacefully. She can do it herself am I right? Every now and then I don't mind doing it or making breakfast but if I'm enjoying my sleep on my few rare days off is it wrong to enjoy my dam sleep? When I worked my old job and would up at 4am to get ready I never woke her up...I actually tried being very quiet and conscious of her getting some rest and not wake up. I've spoken to her about this and she always says the same thing I mentioned above and will tell me never to bother doing anything for her again. It's really annoying. What do you think? | my gf wakes me up on my off days when she works super early to make her coffee. This is annoying I love my sleep when I can get it. She gets mad when I express how I fell. |
t3_38dr9g | relationship_advice | I need help shaking a one night stand off (18 m) | Hi guys I don't know if this is the right place but, I meet this girl at work (I'm 19 working at an auto parts store) I meet this girl helped her, got her number. The next day we hung out at a pond by my house, nothing happened. The day after we had sex. Lots of it. I'm not looking for a relationship with her. But she's like extremely clingy. And I'm actually weirded out to be honest. I've never had a one night stand before so obviously I'm all freaking out I'll add pictures of the conversation in the comments. I'm weirded out, but I don't want to seem like an asshole.
Help what should I do!?!?!? | I think I stuck my dick in crazy |
t3_pfsqu | relationships | Is it wrong for me to demand commitment? | I've (18F) been with the same guy (21M) for almost two years now. We've been through a lot of issues that we still haven't fully gotten over yet and he has a problem of getting scared and running away from me from time to time.
He knows I want a future with him - kids, marriage, etc in the future. And he'll reference about our future in discreet ways (seeing a picture or hearing a story and saying that's how we're going to be when we're older.. stuff like that).
Over the past few days, we've been fighting over me wanting him to refer to me as his 'girlfriend' after getting scared and running off with another woman for a month. In my opinion, if he could call her his girlfriend... why can't he call me his?
But upon talking to his friend, I'm starting to think I'm being irrational... He's loyal to me and truly cares for me. Today, he told me he can't call me his girlfriend because saying that scares him. We 'broke' up today because of it. And tomorrow, I'm going to see him and the only thing I know for sure is I *want* to be with him. But I want commitment too - I want that title and I can't comprehend why calling me that would scare him so much. I'm not sure it's worth losing him though.
So, Reddit, is it wrong for me to want that title of his 'girlfriend' so badly? Am I wrong to demand it from him when it scares him? | I want to be called his 'girlfriend', but he's scared of calling me that. I feel that's part of commitment and I deserve it. We've been fighting over this and I may well lose him over my belief. Am I wrong to demand/want this so badly? |
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