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t3_of3ii | legaladvice | Do I have a case to take this guy to Small Claims? (x-post from AskReddit) | (I feel I got good response in AskReddit, but figured this is the more appropriate sub to ask in)...
In the fall of 2011, after doing some work for a company in Chicago, I was put in contact with another business owner funded by the same guys (Lightbank, the guys behind Groupon).
I talked to the guy about what he needed, and we agreed via email to a retainer for three months. Like a fool, though, I started work before I had a signed agreement, and once the first payment was due (about a week after PT work began) he balked at the terms...this is despite the fact he kept talking about "trust" and how he has solid funding behind the company.
I immediately stopped work and since then have had several conversations with the guy, about things from how he wants me in the office as a FT employee, to examples he'd share that used some of the work I'd done.
Once I saw he was using my work (even just "as a placeholder" as he described it), I mentioned that he was using it and hadn't paid me. His response was that he'd *"never said he wouldn't pay"* and to submit an invoice.
I submitted the invoice on 12/1/11 (net 30) and started following up on day 31 when he of course hadn't paid.
He's now saying the work was "samples" and that they "aren't using any of the work in production". | Did work without signed agreement, client is now claiming it was sample work and refusing to pay, but have emails and IMs showing I did work as requested and asking me to send him an invoice. |
t3_278een | relationships | Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 7 months, She hates her body, and I can't change it. | I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months. She's awesome, and she's loving and affectionate. I try to be the best Boyfriend I can be, and for the most part I have succeeded. But when it comes to her body, despite what I say, she refuses to like the way she looks.
I was over weight for a long time. I lost 100lbs. I know what overweight looks like. My lady friend has curves, but is by no means overweight. She does have a poor body image from her youth, being told constantly that she'll never be as attractive as her sisters (her step mom is an evil woman for saying that stuff, in my opinion.) She does have curves, but in no way does this mean she is heavy. She actually just has hips. Honestly.
I just want her to see what I see. A beautiful woman. How can I help her not hate herself? | Girlfriend hates her body. How can I help her think otherwise? |
t3_1ilnnl | AskReddit | How can I break the ice with women? | Man, these days I have been feeling so lonely that I think I'm ashamed of feeling like this. It's so bad that I cannot talk to women. It is so unbelievably frustrating.
Worse so because I've been in relationships before, hell I was married! We split up last year and I have to file for a divorce (waiting until August). But anyway, breaking the ice for me is so difficult. Once I do then all of a sudden I'm okay, I can make jokes and conversation and it's not too bad. But the initial contact is an incredible barrier that feels unsurmountable to me.
To be honest, it's such a problem that even though I realized that my wife and I were not right for each other, I let it go for a long time because I could not imagine summoning the courage to meet somebody again. (I met her through an old mutual friend so I was very comfortable from the start). I finally split up with her because I couldn't take it any longer and felt that I deserved a better life for myself rather than be with someone whom I didn't love anymore.
To sum myself up: I'm 41 and I look way younger than that: everyone guesses under 28, and now that I'm in school again I easily pass for 22-25. I'm better than average looking, confident in myself, easy going, laid back and a generally well-liked person. However making the first move is harder than anything and usually such a hard experience that it's hard for me to practice. | can't break the ice with women, cannot make the first move, feel frustrated. |
t3_m8xm3 | AskReddit | Hey reddit, what's the worst thing you've done to get revenge on an ex? | So there's a little bit of a story here. Yesterday I found out that my ex boyfriend who I broke up with about a week ago cheated on me with three different girls in the two months that we were together.
This guy told me he loved me after the first week (red flag I know) told me he wanted to marry me and even brought me into a jewelry store to look at engagement rings
Here's the thing. I still have a bunch of his shit: pj pants, lulu lemon hoodie, two tee shirts, his two favorite hats, and a diamond necklace he gave me. What should I do?
So far thoughts of javex, something involving tuna, and scissors have all crossed my mind. Whoever gives me the best idea of what to do with his shit, I'll do it.
He told me in a text message that he was playing me the entire time and that he just used me. | I have my exes shit and I found out he cheated on me with 3 girls. What should I do with it? |
t3_1odpif | college | how bad did i screw myself over? | I was the kid who back in high school decided i was too cool for school and decided in my sophomore and junior year that i would only do the minimum to graduate and never have to attend another school ever again. ( yes i was stupid ) fast forward to my senior year when i get some sense about me and pulled my GPA up to about a 2.5 unweighted. im not proud of what i did and i definitely regret my lack of fore sight but what i am wondering is now that im 20 is it too late to go back to school? i was visiting open houses and i was speaking with juniors and seniors that were my age. I also never took my SAT or ACT and im wondering how i would go about getting those done or if i even need too at this point? Will schools simply throw out my application when they see my high school transcript? i want to go to art school to major in buisness of art design but im afraid i might not be able to get accepted anywhere let alone afford it without financial aid. | i was a slacker in high school, do i still have a chance at college and financial assistance without a high gpa and no SAT or ACT |
t3_3smu8i | relationships | My (18M) Roomate (19M) buy groceries together, but he eats way more than I do. | My long-time best friend and I are rooming together in a small community college across the country from where we grew up. We buy groceries every 2 weeks, usually hitting a bill between $80-$120, depending on if we need to buy things like toilet paper.
The groceries we buy only lasts us about 4-5 days, as my roommate is pretty much always eating as long as he is not sleeping. As a result, I'm eating less than 50% of the groceries (I'd say I'm consuming 25% of the groceries). In addition, he LOVES buying premium products and buying disposable cups (despite us having our own plates and washing capabilities) as it just charges "to his mom's credit card." Since both of our parents are supporting us through college, whenever I mention anything about cost he says "who cares, your mom's paying for this anyway."
Unlike my roommate (at least from what I can tell), I typically try to be frugal with my family's money, while my roommate doesn't mind spending his heart out. Our grocery trips are becoming more and more expensive and I don't know how to tell him we need to cut costs and he needs to eat less. We've been friends for a while, and as a result, I don't want to make anything awkward.
I don't know where to go; we plan on living together next school year as well, so I want to address this as I know I am spending a lot more than I thought I would be. Basically what I want is to just buy milk and a few other "staples," from the grocery store, whereas he wants to buy all sorts of snacking foods. | My long-time best friend and roommate split grocery costs 50-50. However, he loves spending what is IMO a lot of money, and consumes 80% of the groceries. I want to cut down on how much we spend on groceries, but don't know how to tell him. |
t3_zdmk3 | relationships | Ex wants to get back together! Cool! But it gets a little complicated.... | Me 22, her 22
So my ex and i broke up after six months of dating two months ago. There was no problem with the relationship, but she broke up with me because of her issues with depression, saying that she hated herself and didn't feel worthy of me, etc.
Fast foreward to a week ago, and she calls me after two months of no contact, and said she missed me, couldnt stop thinking about me, and would love to see me, and that I was right about our relationship being able to work. Most importantly, she feels like she's worked out a lot of her issues. She basically said everything I dreamed of her saying short of straight up asking me to get back together.
I felt great! She calls me everyday since then, albeit a little less and the talk is a bit more casual. After a few days like this, I kind of return the favor and open up a bit, saying that I miss her and all that. This is where it starts getting a bit odd.
When I start opening up, she starts emotionally backing up, and gets a little frightened. She says that she sometimes gets scared of people she really loves, because she gets a bit antsy about how totally she devotes herself to them. I believe she has views like this due to her difficult past- she had a terrible father, a brother that molested her, really shitty boyfriends, etc.
By the end of that conversation, she said she'd like to take things slow and see where things go. I could tell, however, that she somewhat regretted pulling away a little bit. So the question is, what do I do from here? I have a girl I love who wants me back, but is wary of me reciprocating her emotions. What I'm doing now is just sitting tight and expecting a phone call again. How do I respect her emotional needs while telling her that I don't like living in this relationship limbo? And if possible, could anyone who's been where she has give me a glimpse as to what she's thinking right now? | My ex, whom I love, reaches across 2 months of no contact to basically tell me she wants to get back together, but starts getting a little anxious when I start reciprocating her emotions. What should I do? |
t3_2kc3ka | relationship_advice | How should I [23/m] ask her [27/f] out? She's temporarily(!) my psychologist | I figured that I'm really into my (temporary) psychologist. She did some ADD related tests on me as well as anamnesis and a background check because she's an expert for ADD and my regular psychotherapist is not.
Next week I have my last appointment but I really want to find a way how to ask her out. I know you're going to say that I fell in love because she's a person who helps me etc. But I've spent the past few weeks thinking, dreaming and daydreaming every single day about her and I feel like these emotions are real.
Also, I've spent the past few years of my life missing opportunities and not really feeling alive, and I decided to just grab any chance I get...
I just need to find a way to ask her out that is not awkward or creepy
I posted this in r/advice some hours ago but unfortunately with some misleading information so the answers were not helpful.
You have to know, I really want to ask her out...Just looking for the proper way to do it. | Fell in love with my temporary psychologist. Looking for a proper way how to ask her out at the last appointment, which is next week. |
t3_1iujtg | relationships | I [19M] have started to fall for a girl [17M] but I'm having a hard time asking her out | Hi, I'm new here and need some advice.
I met this girl 4 months ago (Let's call her beth), she knows I like her and we know a lot about each other, however i am not able to ask her if she wants to take things further and become official. I'm too frightened to actually let some one in my life after my ex-girlfriend of 2 years hurt me, made me feel worthless and ruined my confidence.
I'm not really sure what kind of questions to be asking Beth because im worried i'll scare her off. Would love some advice from this great community. I'm still young and inexperienced. | Falling for a girl i've known for 4 month. Too scared to ask her out incase I scare her away. Need some advice. |
t3_4neomp | personalfinance | My girlfriend just got cut from financial aid, has nowhere to live, and it's partly my fault... | We're in the Bay Area, and my God is it hard for two full time working students to make any sort of living. 1.6k rent for a damn studio, both interns with no benefits, I'm Irish so I can't get a drivers license here, I have s debt to my parents, but that's just me...
My girlfriend is damn amazing. She's incredibly smart, gifted and talented. She loves teaching, and her internship allows her to create classes for kindergarteners, with whom she is just such an amazing positive influence. She's got three years of college done already, but this year, the Financial aide requirements have changed, and the college is now forcing her to pay full fees, which we just cannot afford, and could cause her to have to quit college, forcing her to begin paying her college debts which we also have no way of paying...
What's the way out? How do you live and work if you can barely make rent? How can you be expected to do your best in college if you're only way of going there has been cut off? And let alone how she's been trying to start her own business, for which she already has a following and buyers, but can't afford to get started, and because of that can't meet the minimum requirement to get any sort if public funding either.
What do you do? Especially when certain people could come into power and suck even more money out of the poor... We need help, and there's no one to help us. Is there a kick starter page for that? God no... | Idc if anyone even reads this, I just had to get this off my chest. |
t3_1iqk25 | relationships | My girlfriend [18F] broke up with me [18M] after 8 months together, says she's already over me | We've been together a little over 8 months, and I'm well aware that I got unnecessarily angry a little bit too often (though I've never raised my voice at her or hit her). She broke up with me over that literally less than a week ago, and I understand that though I wish it weren't that way. When I saw her today for the first time since, we talked, and basically she's fine, she's already over me and that she didn't even miss me at all, even though during our 8 months together, we were so close. We hadn't gone a single day without talking, literally. We'd spend every moment together, at her request.
So how can she already be over me when I'm already having the worst week of my life? How can I get over her? What should I do? | She broke up with me after 8 great months together (with a few rough patches), and a week later she's already over me. What do? |
t3_4iltoa | relationships | My [28F] first time being attracted to a poly couple [27F/31M], mixed feelings about whether to pursue triad | I have been in monogamous relationships and poly relationships. In poly, I casually dated people who met my primary bf but were otherwise socially separate, and my bf didn't introduce me to his other gf (at my request, I can sometimes be intimidated and socially awkward around beautiful women) but talked to me about their dates.
I recently became friends with an attractive guy, and after spending much time with him and his fiancee I have found myself attracted to both of them as more than platonic. I know they are attracted to me, but I haven't directly expressed my feelings, and here's why:
When I meet an attractive person and then find out they're in a relationship it turns off my attraction receptors. (I'm from an area where poly is uncommon, so it's usually assumed they're in a monogamous relationship where flirtation is considered rude at best or even infidelity.) This couple has experience with triads and threesomes, and they're totally fine showing PDA with their "other" around each other; I have no experience here. When they talk about their sex life it triggers my platonic feelings.
I also find it easier to spend a lot of time with this guy [31M] than his fiancee [27F] because I'm an introvert who can relax quietly with someone for long periods while she's much more socially engaging which I enjoy bit can only endure for a few hours a week. She admits to being a bit insecure and jealous about her SO dating women, so I worry about how I'd balance attention between them.
I'm not sure how to navigate my feelings and I'm looking for some perspective. | Attracted to guy and woman in a poly primary relationship with each other. No experience with a triad and looking for perspective to make sense of my feelings. |
t3_13zdmr | AskReddit | Today I cancelled my Visa/Debit card because someone has access to my details. Does anyone have any advice as to how do I ensure my identity is protected (both online and IRL)? | **Background**
I received a message from the bank yesterday urging me to call them. After doing so, I discovered that someone had attempted to send money to a broker in America (I live on the other side of the world). Fortunately, the bank caught it out and barred my card, which I then cancelled. The bank informed me that this kind of thing just seems to happen sometimes, and I can't recall any significant online/phone purchases I've made recently.
I also received an email from Allied Wallet asking me to activate my account - I had never heard of these guys until now, but it obviously seemed suspicious.
Now, I'm being sent a new card but I'm still wondering is it likely that someone has access to my email account (thus my Google Account and pretty much everything else)?
Other than changing my passwords, is there much more I can do to prevent online invasion?
Do I need to stick a piece of tape over my laptop's webcam?
Please share any stories/experiences you've had, too.
I remember a big fuss a few years ago about Google's privacy stuff, and how many smartphones record keystrokes, so I'm also wondering if this is also a problem. | Read the damn title. |
t3_4qdjvz | relationships | I [16M] Am Tired Of Being Attracted To People | Not using a throwaway because I'm too angry.
I'm tired of feeling attracted to people, every person I have had a
crush on since middle school hasn't felt the same way and I've
not ruined multiple friendships because of it. The one girl I dated just broke up with me by ghosting me for two weeks before blocking me on facebook. Now, I have a crush on one of my friends and I'm now in danger of ruining that friendship. At this point I'm willing to do anything to remove the ability to be attracted to anyone, if there was a drug I'll take it, if there was surgery to remove that part of the brain, I'll do it. I rather be an emotionless robot if that means not being attracted to anyone ever again. | Tired of feeling attracted to people, need advice on how to stop. |
t3_wxdag | relationships | Messed things up with my friend | So I recently made a move on my buddy and got rejected. Kinda sad, but I can deal with it.
Thing is, he started getting really hostile after that day. Took offense with everything I said. Seemed really angry with me, for some reason. We've been together for ages, and never had a major quarrel before. This sudden change of attitude is shocking, to say the least.
We're still buddies, but the friendship's getting really strained...
Why?
What the heck's happening? | Asked my friend out, and now he's angry with me. |
t3_28jjy2 | loseit | The Gym Was AWESOME | For the first time in forever I went to the gym today. My employer is big into fitness, so he has a well stocked gym on campus that is free to use by the staff. I've been putting it off since the start of my weight loss. But yesterday I decided that enough was enough.
My second biggest stumbling block after pure motivation was that I felt like I needed a plan. So I spent some time yesterday looking for plans for beginner/sedentary types. I found the Gain Fitness app. I told it what equipment the gym has and what I have at home along with stats and goals. It thought for maybe 5 minutes and spat out a work out plan for both strength and cardio.
In the past I've used the "wait until Monday" thing to put off workouts. Yesterday I said "that's bullshit". I told GF to start on Thursday (we get to work from home on Wednesdays). This morning I got my fat ass into the gym and started working out.
My form was crap.
The weight was low.
And my hamstrings are already sore.
But. It. Felt. Awesome.
I expected to hit the "this is hard" wall quickly. That's what has happened in the past when I tried to work out. That didn't happen. The only thing I fell short on were the crunches. The app wanted two sets of 30. I could only manage 2x15. But the feeling otherwise was great, I wanted to do Friday's workout right after I was done. I legitimately couldn't because I had to be showered and back at my desk to do some server maintenance before anyone else got in.
My plan is to follow the Gain Fitness plan on M, T, Th, F. And on W, Sa, Su I'll do cardio on the Gazelle machine that my mother-in-law gave us. Seven days a week. Never in my life, even when I was thin and active, would I have voluntarily decided to just work out seven days a week. | Fatty fatterson got off his fat ass and worked out. And he liked it. |
t3_qdyo6 | AskReddit | So, just hypothetically, if you were to spill coffee all over a laptop <.< how would you clean it? | Now, of course I would never be so careless <.< But just hypothetically... Luckily it stayed away from the important bits, as best I can tell (this happened late at night, didn't even know about it til morning, and the laptop still runs fine) but I take my coffee with a fair bit of sugar (black, thankfully, in the context) so there's some stickiness on the keyboard. I'm mostly thanking my lucky stars that I didn't short anything out, but I do want to clean it. My understanding is that I should be able to safely wipe it down (unplugged, battery removed) with alcohol, but I'm also wondering how best to clean under the keys? Can I pop keys off of a laptop (Aspire One, if it matters) and re attach, like you could with older desktop keyboards, or would that be breaking the keys off? Special tool needed? There's a place in town I could send to get it cleaned, probably pretty cheaply, but other than *under* the keys I *think* I get how to do it - just figured I'd check for advice first. | Spilled sugary coffee on a laptop, luckily it didn't short anything out, but now there's stickiness on and under the keys; best way to clean? |
t3_11m5qd | relationships | Worried my boyfriend [26] is in love with me [20F] because he loves being in love... | My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now (approx. 5 months) and we fell for each other quickly. It was very romantic but it recently has it occurred to me that...he just might like being in love and that's why we hit it off so quickly. I'm rather cynical about love (I don't know how to tell if I'm REALLY in love, I see my friends breaking up/getting back together a lot...)
I've read some stuff he wrote for ex's and it feels very similar to the stuff he writes to me - about how they're so special, the way they make him feel, etc...He's written that directed towards me and has told me countless times that I'm the "one".
If it's relevant: within a month of us "dating" he confessed that he was in love with me.
I don't know how to stop my brain from thinking "He only loves you because you're the first nice/stable relationship he's been in lately." or "He just likes being in love..." and I have no idea how to reconcile all these thoughts.
If it matters: We don't line up spiritually, he's recently divorced, and we have different opinions on having kids. | I'm worried my boyfriend doesn't really love me; he just loves the idea of being in love with me. |
t3_3pf7jo | relationship_advice | Looking for ways to convince my [21/F] housemate [24/M] to let me get a cat. | To expand on the title; I rent a room in a big 5 bedroom house with one other person.
I confirmed with the landlord and he doesn't have an issue for me to be getting a cat at all, as long as my housemate is ok with it...
That being the main issue.
We are on ok terms, we had a falling out about 3 months ago and he never was willing to bring back the friendship.
I have been looking for and thinking about getting a cat for about 6 months now; and he had no issue beforehand.
I know he likes cats and isn't allergic to them.
The cat that I am looking to adopt is 2 years old and fully trained; I am also a responsible person and have experience of taking care of the cat.
I don't expect him to have any responsibility in terms of feeding, etc.
On another note: He has a pet snake; I know it's not quite a cat, but he didn't require getting anyone's permission.
I am planning to speak to him tomorrow morning (possibly send a message) about this.
Anyone have any idea how I should go about this and what I should certainly include? | I am serious about adopting a cat, need help as to how convince my flatmate to agree (with no strings attached) :) |
t3_gluls | AskReddit | Well Reddit, I want to leave the USA | Is it possible for someone of limited means and no college degree to emigrate? I am not really choosy about where I want to go, but I would like to leave the USA. I find myself lately not agreeing with the policies and laws. I am of a faith that is persecuted in many areas. My husband is of an ethnicity that is constantly harassed and we are treated differently because we don't behave like other people. I am not saying we do anything illegal, but we are different enough that we are sick of people giving us crap over nothing. We both are natural citizens with very good grasp of the english language but no other languages. We have worked very hard all our lives and will continue to do so. We both have management level careers and experience with some college classes under our belts but no degrees. Is it possible with very little savings to emigrate? | No degrees, not much money, can we emigrate out of the USA? |
t3_hdkf1 | AskReddit | Last year of university. Revision for finals is grinding to a halt. What to do, Reddit? | I'm doing a degree in mathematics in a pretty good university. So far, I've had an average of over 70% every year (that's a First), so getting a First overall should be a piece of cake, right?
Wrong.
I'm losing all motivation to continue. I am sleeping 11 hours a day (I normally average 8), and even if I let myself sleep in, getting out of bed is a massive effort. I find it difficult to begin study, and, once I finally get going, after about four hours, I get too tired to think straight and have to stop for the day. (It doesn't help that two of the three exams I'm studying for have RIDICULOUS exercises to study from, that flick between blindingly trivial to Riemann-hypothesis impossibility)
When I come home, I find it really hard to unwind, I just don't know what to do with myself. To be honest, I think I'm just exhausted mentally right now, but I feel like I can't stop trying to study because the exams are too damn close.
So, what to do? Where do I get my motivation from? How can I relax sufficiently to be able to study? | I feel like I'm about to trip over the final set of academic hurdles. Help? |
t3_3pf9qc | tifu | TIFU by allowing a disabled man to get dressed | So today I went to see an urologist, as I had a frenuplasty scheduled, since my "Banjo string" was too tight.
I was called in from the waiting room to get a shot of local anesthesia in the area. That went somehow awkward, but without any trouble. Then, the doctor told me to sit in the waiting room for 30 minutes and, in his words, "Wait for the magic to happen".
After those 30 minutes, I was told that there was a disabled man in the surgery room, and he was taking his time getting dressed due to him being in a wheelchair. As I had already pointed out to the doctor i was rather busy, I was told that the disabled man could be rolled into another room, since I was busy. I rejected this, as I wouldn't want a disabled man to go through more trouble than necessary. BIG MISTAKE.
After 45 minutes, I was finally called in for surgery. As i laid there, butt naked on the surgery table, the doctor started smalltalking with me while preparing the area for, what would be, the most painful experience of my life.
As he started cutting the string, i felt the pain of a thousand burning suns. I screamed so loud, the entire waiting room must have heard it. The doctor was bafled, rang some kind of bell, and nurses rushed with different syringes and what not. It's all still kind of blurry to me. The pain was so intense i thought he had cut off my manhood, and naturally, i was terrified. In a state of shock, I was then injected with several shots of anesthesia and painkillers.
Turns out, while waiting for the disabled man to get dressed, the local anesthesia had worn off completely. I had taken a knife to the D "Au' natural". The doctor appologized profusely afterwards, and it's first now, on the 11th hour after the surgery, that I can begin to fathom what really went down. | Let a disabled man get dressed, ended up losing the effect of anesthetics and got my banjo string cut "Au natural" and thus experienced a pain that no man should ever have to endure. |
t3_195x5f | relationship_advice | [30/m] Marriage on the rocks, separated from wife [30/f]. Broke down and logged into her FB, saw a message with an ex.... | Been separated for a short period now. Trying to work through our issue that I can't really go into detail about because she reads reddit. I logged into her facebook, which was a terrible idea, and saw just a few (3) messages to an ex a few months ago, before I moved out. One from him saying "I just want to kiss and cuddle" and her saying "I just want to be with you and no one else." He lives pretty far, so it's unlikely anything happened. I shouldn't have logged into FB and done that, but I can't undo it. Our marriage was pretty nonexistent at that time. We're trying to work through this and I really do believe that she wants to, but the question is do I bring up these messages or just see how we work out?
If I bring them up, I could send us backwards. She denies talking to the ex in a very long time, which obviously I know better now. It seems whatever brief relation that was there again might be over. I don't have access to her phone records, but a scan of her email and other things indicates there's nothing now. I don't want to undo what we're working on, at least not now, but I feel it needs to be addressed at some point. If she's not telling me, it's possible because it's over and she doesn't want to hurt me or also undo any progress. I dunno. Being a man says I should, but logic indicates that, at least for now, it's not going to help the situation at all. I don't know what to do. | Separated from spouse. Logged into her facebook, saw 3 pretty upsetting messages from a few months ago. Nothing since. We're working on things now. Not sure to confront her now or later, or ever. Trust was broken on all sides. |
t3_3074bn | relationships | Me [23F] with my suitor[29M] still getting to know each other ,1.5 months | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
So this amazing guy and I have been smitten with one another. But are not exclusive yet, but thats what we both are looking for. He's a college grad, has a job he always wanted and is a great guy all around. I on the other hand, have a good job, but its inconsistent, which would be better because the amount I get paid makes up for the days I don't work at all. I withdrew from school and plan to go back and get a degree in my chosen passion, but I feel like I'm not completely established enough for him. And the last thing I want to do is become his ball and chain. I know we seemingly fit well together but I'm not on the level he is. But the feelings are there. What should I do? Should I see how it plays out within the next few weeks or just tell him I don't want to weigh him down? And its not like I'm completely an anchor, I'm independent, but I feel he needs someone more successful. How do I go about this? Do I let my insecurities hinder a possible love connection or wait it out? | Should I go for it, or tell him I don't think I'm good enough? |
t3_4d9h0n | relationships | [23 M] Why do I keep discarding all my friendships so easily? | I've been known to be called a cold hearted person by many, but I'm starting to surprise myself.
The second anyone insults me, belittles me, mocks my lifestyle, keeps secrets from me, or isn't honest towards me, I start my process of eliminating them from my life completely. And yes, I can tell the difference between when someone is joking and having a jest with me and when someone means what they say. I like to think I have very good intuition about people's intentions.
Am I supposed to be more tolerant or am I just around the wrong group of people all the time?
It's kind of hard to admit, even on reddit, but I'm starting to get lonely. | I keep breaking my relationships. What should I do? |
t3_1rralr | AskReddit | Is it possible to go from hookup buddies to a relationship? | It started out as being study friends, but I (18F) have been hooking up (not sex, we're both virgins) with a guy (19M). Just FYI, we're both very inexperienced.
I was so nervous because it was only my second kiss, let alone making out. I tried asking him what he wanted before we even kissed, and he was pretty vague whenever I asked in the beginning. He said "I wouldn't mind being in a relationship." Did that mean he wants one or "wouldn't mind one" if that means we can hook up? Never knew.
We've gone on some date-ish things, like watch a movie, go out to eat (both that I kind of initiated), and I'm definitely developing feelings for him. I can definitely tell he's into me at least physically/sexually but being a college kid, there's a big chance he just wants to be hookup friends (this is why I'm so cautious)
How do I go about telling him I want a relationship? I'm really scared of what he'll say and don't want to ruin our friendship/make things awkward.
Have you ever fallen for your hookup buddy/friends with benefits? | Falling for hookup buddy, scared and don't know what to say to him. |
t3_11quvt | AskReddit | how do you explain to your parents that the world works differently than it did when they were younger? what kinda stuff don't your parents understand? | i live in a huge metro city. a one bedroom apartment in a nice area is about $2,250 a month on average. a one bedroom apartment in a not so nice area is about $1,000 a month on average. right now i live in a one bedroom in a not so nice area and pay $900 a month so a little below average.
my parents hate the area i live in. they say it's dangerous and the apartment is crappy and i need to move. i don't like my apartment or area too much but it's what i can afford so it's where i live. my parents are coming up this weekend to visit and want to look at nicer apartments in nicer areas.
but at the same time they tell me i pay too much and should find a cheaper place! they say that paying anything more than $500 a month is ridiculous. i keep trying to tell them that this is a huge city and that it is literally impossible to find a nice new apartment in a nice area for $500 a month or less. that does not exist.
i pointed out to my parents that the places they want to look at this weekend are between $2,000 and $3,000 a month and that i can't afford to live there. my mom said "when i first graduated college my apartment was only $140 a month!" well mom, you got your first apartment in 1970, the world is different now. | my parents expect me to find a new apartment in a nice area in a huge metro city for less than $500 a month because their first place in 1970 was only $140 a month |
t3_432zvz | relationships | Me [17 M/F] with my girlfriend [17 M/F] of just above a year, told me she loves me but is not in love with me | Me and my girlfriend have recently just passed 1 year and a month, but we've been having trouble over a few months. None the less I still love her, though recently she told me that she loves, but is not in love with me. I'm confused and heart broken, I don't know what to do. I honestly feel devastated.
We are still together, but I suspect it wont be for much longer. Are there any tips as to what I should do? How I could possibly get her to fall back in love with me, or should I just leave? I don't want things to end between me and her because she makes me happy. | My girlfriend of a year told me she loves me but is not in love with me, I don't know what to do. Please help. |
t3_rqu7z | AskReddit | Electricians of Reddit... Please read! | Hey! So here's my dilemma... I'm 20, I have been looking into becoming an electrician for a while, but was in no rush. Until my parents decided to inform me that they're moving across the country. I am SO lost, I don't know what to do on such short notice. I need advice! Some help! Anything. :(
Details:
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My parents decided they want to move to Alberta, from Ontario. I am not leaving my friends, my girlfriend and my life behind to tag along. Up until they told me of the move, I was in no rush. I lost my job a few months back due to health issues; and now I was gradually researching apprenticeships/certification, and reading books. Now it has become a race against time, I have 2 months until they leave. I live near Toronto, if that makes any difference at all. | Extremely desperate! I need some advice on becoming an electrician, or more specifically on how to find an apprenticeship. |
t3_1s6wl1 | relationships | I [19 M] had a falling out with the girl I fell in love with [18 F] should I try to bury the hatchet? | Over the summer I fell in love with a girl I interned with. The only problem was at the time she had a boyfriend. After she broke up with her boyfriend, we went on a date and I asked her to her homecoming dance. She said yes with extreme delight. The next week she ditched me for her ex.
Upon confronting her, she apologized profusely for saying yes in the first place and putting herself in a tough position, but never apologized for ditching me.
Nonetheless I forgave and kept building the friendship. We were better friends than ever
6 months later i visit her at the office we used to work at. I expect to be welcomed with open arms but instead, I am treated to her discussing how she hates her ex with a passion and has gone on a series of dates with a kid we used to make fun of all summer for being extremely goofy.
Long story short, I lost my cool and confronted her asking why she ditched me in the first place if she hated her ex and told her how much ditching me hurt.
Then, I continued to confront her about the guy she was dating that she said she hated when she has refused my audience several times when i come home from college.
She responded extremely defensively calling me inconsiderate and once again did not apologize for ditching me
Though nothing was said, we decided to stop talking to each other. Now I miss her. Should I offer the olive branch? | Should I move on or try to salvage the relationship? |
t3_1e6c0s | relationships | F(27) and M(27) (together 2+ yrs) want marriage and kids. Issue is time, tips please? | Me (F27) and boyfriend (M27), known each other for 6 years, together for 28 months (2+ years) feel like we're ready to be completely committed to each other by law.
We've been talking about having a child, and I fear that I'm starting to get to an age where it will be difficult. Boyfriend would really love having a child. He does not mind either speeding up the process or waiting a bit longer. I on the other hand, fear that conceiving, pregnancy, childbirth and recovery will just get more difficult with each year that passes. We're trying to come up with a balanced plan.
Boyfriend and me would prefer a child that's genetically ours. If we think it's not the time to have our own kid yet, and we have to wait for a pretty long time, a foster child or adoptive child would definitely be an option as well.
But having a child that's biologically ours would be easier, we expect.
We're questioning whether it's a good idea to start as early as possible and risk not having absolutely everything in place (early careers, still renting, but there's at least one good income in place with a full-time permanent contract, and one part-time permanent contract, bunch of savings in place as well).
With our ages in mind (and mostly the future mom's age), what would you guys suggest we do? | Me (F27) and boyfriend (M27), together for 2+ years, are ready to commit and want a child. Because of our age, we probably have to get a move on. We do not own a home yet and we are early in our careers. But, there's at least one full-time income and a permanent contract in place. What do we do? Thanks in advance! |
t3_qce8a | college | I need serious help with decided whether to transfer or not | I decided to go to a school far from friends and family in Massachusetts in Alabama. My choice was completely dependent on a huge scholarship I was awarded and the promise that all the students who take French with Dr. Sherry (why not use his real name) love him. Now he is the only Professor who teaches French (my major). I am currently 3 classes from finishing my General Studies, halfway through a French Major, and a third of a way into both Spanish and American Sign Language Minors.
My dilemma is this: Dr. sherry is a completely incompetant, unprofessional professor. In my "Advanced" class we are assigned a chapter of reading, and in class we read out loud from the novel (the section we were supposed to read) and we fill out SIMPLE worksheets of questions that are not turned in. We then watch the movie and take a test. My class has not once had to do so much as write an essay. He also has continually given me A's despite never turning in homework (as he does with many | Don't mind my school, hate my professor- should I transfer? |
t3_2whjik | personalfinance | I am in desperate need of debt and budget advice. | I am normally a lurker and this is my first post, ever. I have never had financial guidance. Last year I racked up massive credit card debt. I also bought a new car. I won't go into the 'why' because I am much, much better now and am trying to clean up my financial act but it boils down to being an addictive and impulsive. I am in quite a hole and I need a solid plan to follow. I have literally no one to ask in my personal life and I wouldn't anyway because I am really embarrassed. /r/personalfinance has taught me so much already and I am hoping someone can help.
I know my food is ridiculous, I eat out - often. This is something I am working on changing.
* My FICO is 613. Income is $1880 a month after tax. Total bills are $1975/month.
My budget is as follows:
* Rent 400
* Insurance 145
* Electric 90
* Gas 60
* Cell 60
* IRS 51 (education loan, I defaulted)
* Food 340
* Gas 60
* Car 430 - $24,161 - 5.49%
* Bill Me Later 30 - 346.86 - 19.99%
* Capitol One 76 - 2470.05 - 22.90%
* Capitol One 38 - 1310.74 - 19.80
* Discover 60 - 2944.25 - 0% (ends May 20 - 19.99%)
* Walmart 35 - 597.23 - 22.90%
* Amazon 50 - 1519.29 - 25.99
* Family Loan 50 - 2000 - 0%
I had been paying for school out of pocket, but lost my job in October, I now make $8k less a year. As of this semester I am no longer in school (can't afford it). I have one loan from the DoE and its $450. I have $300 saved. I have no issue with getting a second job, I'm looking. When I write everything out, it gives me a panic attack but I can't ignore it any longer.
* Ideas? Is bankruptcy a viable option? | I sure hope someone reads this. |
t3_51soln | relationships | My grandma (70's/F) is doing everything to kill herself short of actually killing herself. | This all started a few years ago when my grandpa died. My grandma was obviously distraught, and went from smoking 1 pack a day to 3-4 packs a day, and she also went from eating normally to eating an extremely small meal (a portion most people would call a "snack") once, sometimes twice, a day. Since then she has also stopped taking all of her medication and going to her doctors offices. She has high blood pressure, diabetes, and had a left anterior descending heart blockage that caused a heart attack commonly known as the "widowmaker" and has a defibrillator installed as well.
This has kept up for over three years now. She's started having blackouts while driving. She said she had chest pains that exactly mimicked the pains she felt when she had her heart attack, only much less severe, and refused to take nitro or aspirin. She complains of constant fatigue and joint/muscle pain in her shoulders and chest. She also recently quit her job (she worked part time, mostly for a social life) and gave all my grandpa's stuff to my mom and aunt and us grand kids. She admits she only gets about 3 hours of sleep per night even though she's always tired. She constantly does physically demanding things even though she knows she's not supposed to. She's "loaned" at least $80,000 to anyone who's asked her for some money after they found out my grandfather left her $100,000 when he died. She's begun having "accidents" because she won't (she can still get up and down and move around extremely well) get up to use the restroom. She has started to push away both of her kids and us grand kids by being a constant asshole to everyone that is related to her. We've tried to talk to her about it, but she always blows us off, starts yelling, then says she never wants to see us again.
We want her to live a full and happy life, but she doesn't seem to be open to the idea of it, and is doing pretty much everything she can to die except brushing her teeth with a pistol, and I don't know what to really do. | Grandma has almost stopped eating, almost stopped sleeping, stopped going to the doctor, and has given almost everything she has away. She's also trying to distance herself from the family. What do reddit? |
t3_2ce9sf | legaladvice | Lake County Illinois Drug DUI | Friend got pulled over for having registration light out. They smelled weed, searched his car and found .5 grams of marijuana. They asked when the last time he smoked was and he said about 3 hours ago. He failed a sobriety test because he cant balance on his ankles due to breaking them so many times. He got 4 tickets: Drug DUI, Possession of under 2.5 grams, Paraphernalia, and driving with a broken registration light. His court date is in 2 weeks.
I told him to get help from his parents while others have told him its not a big deal and he doesn't need a lawyer. How important/expensive will a lawyer be? Any Advice? | Drug DUI, possession of under 2.5 grams of marijuana, paraphernalia, and broken registration light ticket. How important/expensive will a lawyer be? |
t3_2uygwl | tifu | TIFU by laughing so hard it looks like a crime scene in my panties | I've been lurking TIFU for a long time, laughing at all you incompetent fucks and your dicknanigans. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I was hanging out with my wife this evening, getting blazed, watching anime and just generally having a good time. She told a joke, and I erupted into laughter so forceful that my tampon was expelled from my body with extreme prejudice, followed by a category 5 gush of backlogged menstrual blood. My panties were completely wrecked, and I just barely missed wrecking the couch. The fucked up part is, I don't even remember what my wife said that was so fucking funny. | laughed way too fucking hard, menstrual tsunami wrecks panties. |
t3_3k04zf | relationships | Crush on Mom's co-worker | I need your advice. So my mom works at target for a part-time job and we went there yesterday and at the end I waited by the exit and saw one of my moms co-workers and we kept looking at each-other. I wanted to work there for some time now but you have to be 16 and i'm 15 1/2 and that girl looked around my age. I kinda want to ask my mom about her but I think that would be awkward or I can try getting a job there early because my mom works there. What do you think I should do ask my mom about her or wait until I get a job there? Thank you | So what should I do? |
t3_4fnvdj | relationships | My girlfriend (19F) and I (21M) having issues over porn, drugs, and control been together 3 and a half years. | A month or two ago I came clean to my girlfriend that I didn't want to quit watching porn after a month of going without. She is not okay with it she gave me an ultimatum and I chose the porn, mainly because from my point of view I feel she tries to control me! She did not break up with me but she continues to insert back handed comments into everyday conversations. Things like "I bet you would choose weed over me too." Or " you'll do what you want anyway so whatever" I had a conversation with her about this and I think she STILL thinks I'm going to quit for her.
She also won't let me partake in psychedelic drugs anymore because of one scary incident where we both took too much. Okay I kinda understand that one.. but I don't want to live my short life with all these rules and regulations of what I can do if it's what makes me happy. I'm 21 and I feel like I have the responsibility of a parent for some things when I'm not a parent I'm a college kid. I've never cheated on my girlfriend. Never wanted to. But I don't see why porn can be a deal-breaker it's so stupid. I use it to get off it's like a sex toy... and the worst part is I look like the bad guy in all of this. She holds that over me for sure. | girlfriend not okay with my porn use. I feel she is trying to control me and I want some freedom in my life. |
t3_3xtnkk | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [24 M] 8 months. Confused/Disappointed at my BF for not trusting me | I work in tech field so most of my colleagues/friends happen to be male. Recently one of my colleagues was texting me asking about my vacation. I said I was enjoying with my boyfriend for which the male colleague sent a lovey face smiley. (Insinuating me having fun with my BF). I was discussing some work issue with my colleague and I said I would discuss it more in detail with them in person, so the colleague joked that it would also give them a chance to see my lovely face (Been working remotely for the past few months).
For context this colleague of mine is very close to me and is like a father figure (He understands that and has never behaved inappropriately with me).
Back to my story, BF saw the kissy face smiley and the "lovely face" comment. He was like "Who the hell is this guy?". I explained and showed the texts to him to explain the context. He understood that it wasn't a flirting session and he dropped it. But it made me feel super sick. It made me feel like my boyfriend doesn't trust me.
We both discussed this issue and he said when he sees something obvious like that, he cannot not question it. (Which I understand and sort of agree). But him snooping on my texts in the first place was kind of irritating for me. Anyway, after we sorted it out, I wanted to just explain more about my colleague to my BF so that he can know about my friends.
My BF outright just said, "It was only interesting in the context. I don't want any drama. Don't explain". This really hurt my feelings. I am not sure how I should react. | Tried to explain to my boyfriend and he said he understands and doesn't want more drama. I feel hurt. |
t3_2jmk4s | relationships | My boyfriend (17) called me (17 F) desperate.. | Now I know what some of you are thinking. Were kids and break ups happen. Well he and I have been together for about 6 years with a few breaks in between.
We are a long distance relationship, him living in california and me in wisconsin. Yesterday he went to a football game and I was kind of upset because of things that happened and wanted to talk to him. He wouldnt reply to my texts until midnight saying he thought his phone was dead. I got over it and went to sleep. This morning we were skyping and he was kind of avoiding me and I got kind of sad and he told me to be happy and I asked him to help cheer me up and he got all awkward so I asked if he liked another girl. He shrugged.. so I asked again and he said it was nice to actually be able be themselves around and not watch what they say. I started crying a little and asked if he wanted to leave me and he said he didnt know because he cares about me but it seems like I'm just desperate for a boyfriend and dont truly care about him.. | my boyfriend of 6 years found someone else because I seem desperate.. |
t3_12yfei | AskReddit | How do I tell the girl I am seeing that she has a slight body odor problem? | Last winter my roommate, let's call her Jess, and I started sleeping together. It was very casual. She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend and needed a warm bed every now and then. Which i provided. She made it very clear that she wanted to keep things casual and wasn't looking for any comitment even though we did both have feelings for each other, seeing as she had just ended her long relationship.
At the begining of the summer it was time for us to move out. I stayed in the same city and she took a seasonal job out of state, with plans to return at the end of the summer. We kept in touch over the summer and she returned a few weeks ago and we have resumed seeing each other, although now living seperately. Its still unclear what our relationship status is at the moment, but thats something that will work itself out in time.
My question is though, while it was never a problem while we were living together, she seems to be slightly less hygenic now, slight underarm odor as well as between her legs. I'm wondering how i can tell her about it without putting a strain on our burgeoning relationship? Since i do still have strong feelings for her. I could honestly look past it if it came down to it. I would be much more comfortable in our relationship though if i could figure out a way of telling her. | girl i was seeing leaves for the summer and returns with a hygene problem (underarm odor and a somewhat off putting vaginal smell)...how do i tell her without putting a strain on the relationship? |
t3_3djc6n | relationships | Am I [23 M] being rude by not wanting to go to my mother's [51 F] friend's [51 F] mother's [?? F] funeral? | A few weeks ago, my mom [51 F] announced she'd be coming to the city I [23 M] live in for a week or so and staying with a friend of hers. My mom and I haven't been on great terms for a few years, and she lives about three hours away, so I don't see her very often. That was all well and fine with me, and I knew that meant we'd see each other a few times at dinner or lunch or something.
Anyway, yesterday another of her friends [also 51 F], not the one she would be staying with here but also someone who lives in this city, called my mom and told her that her mother had passed away the night before (the mother of my mom's friend). I don't really know this friend very well, let alone her mother, but my mom wants me to go to the "visitation" today from 4 - 8...
The text my mother sent was:
> "If I am able to go, I hope you will go with me. It's not what anyone wants to do, of course, but it's the right thing."
I'm not really even sure what a visitation is, but I have no desire to go at all. I don't really know her friend very well, and the friend's only memories of me are from over eight years ago when I was 15 and younger. I have never in my life met the woman who died. I don't feel obligated, but I don't want to look like a complete degenerate or some kind of insensitive prick, either. | I know it's probably a stupid and selfish question, but am I an asshole for not wanting to go to this "visitation" thing tonight for my mother's friend's mother who I've never met or known? Can I say no? |
t3_rqriu | AskReddit | I am travelling to Hong Kong, Macau and China. Is this inappropriate? | I have the aforementioned trip coming up in a few days -- my first time to the Asian continent. [This is the shoulder bag that I carry around for typical day-to-day use.]
My dad warned me (jokingly?) to not bring my "communist" bag with me when I travel. I usually never give it any thought, but now I'm wondering if I'm ignorant to presume this isn't an issue. (The bag is military green with what can be construed as a red communist star.)
Is this a non-issue? A big deal? I'll be in urban centres for most of the trip. Maybe someone with more experience of the political climate in China could enlighten me. Thanks! | is visibly "communist" or socialist paraphernalia incitive or insensitive in modern-day China? |
t3_15sv80 | needadvice | I want to tell my parents I'm moving out in the best way possible. | A good friend and I have decided to rent an apartment together. We've recently gotten the lease signed and everything, and we pretty much have everything in the apartment, except my stuff. This is because I am absolutely terrified of talking to my parents, mainly my mother, about things like this. She is very protective of me, and overreacts about countless things. I've done everything I can think of to calm my nerves and tell myself that it's okay that I'm moving out, but confrontation is just definitely not my cuppa joe. I've postponed telling them pretty much up to the last minute, and I just feel a great amount of panic inside every time I think about telling them. My friends are perplexed as to why I haven't talked to them, so it doesn't seem like I can get quality advice from them. I'd love to talk to someone who has the same... phobia(?) as me, and get their input on how they dealt with it. I'm embarrassed to be posting about it, as it feels like such a trivial fear, but everyone is fucked up in some way. I greatly appreciate any help for this. | Mama's boy is trying to grow some balls and tell his parents he's moving out. |
t3_2w5amb | relationships | What do I (25/F) say to an old paramour (32/M) who dropped me like a hotcake over 2 years ago? | To keep this from being to long, I'll make it quick.
This relationship was stickly online. We talked constantly about going to see each other but never did. I was majorly hung up on him. Eventually though I became tired of seemingly being strung around by his promises to visit. I told him if he fell through one more time we were done and could only be friends. He built me up and up and up and then just freaking vanished. No word and all points of contact either deleted or possibly blocked. I went on with my life, occasionally searching him out on facebook. Actually found him by accident the other night and sent him a friend request on facebook before I could stop myself. He accepted but hasn't said anything personally to me. Should I start the ball rolling? What do I even say...
Mostly I want closure and possibly friendship as I'm very happy in my current relationship. | What do I say to the guy that got away? |
t3_1ibsdw | AskReddit | Is there a point to life? If so, what is it? | I find myself constantly thinking about life as some sort of game that I'm trying to win. It's kind of a subconscious paradigm that only exists until I consciously think about it. At that point, I realize what a silly notion it is and that there really is no such thing as "winning" at life and the only thing I can really do is take steps to be happier. However, I find that hard to do when I really can't conceptualize any good reason to be happier or to even put forth any effort at all into life or being alive. | What is it all for? |
t3_2e5v10 | relationships | I'm (21/f) afraid to get close to anyone. | So this is my first time posting and I'm not even sure this is the right subreddit so if anyone would be oh so kind to tell me where it would be best to post I would appreciate it. (:
Anyways I'm 21 years old and I've never been in a serious relationship. Now I have had flings here and there but nothing serious because as soon as I feel it getting serious I start to panic and feel smothered and end up breaking up with them and mostly I'm already having my eye on someone else. I remember a couple years ago I heard somewhere that cheating was genetic and I don't know if it's true but I seriously think it is. My father cheated on my mother multiple times and even though I say it didn't affect me because I was too young to understand I am starting to think it did. I can't do relationships because as soon as we put a label on our thing I start to flirt with other guys and basically I act more single than when I am single. I would much rather be by myself and I hate having to answer to someone. I couldn't care less about what my partner does.
And another thing, I can't do PDA. When I see other couples doing it I just think how fake it is. I know they aren't going to be like that forever. I know that while the girl was hugging him he was checking out the chick that passed by.
And like I said I've had flings here and there but I've mostly been the other woman. When I see a guy that's in a relationship it's like I'm suddenly attracted to them and I won't stop till I make them stray. It's never gotten serious like leaving the wife for me but it's just mostly flirting and making sure they go home thinking about me.
I can honestly say I don't want to be in a relationship anytime soon and everyone tells me 'when you meet the right guy' but I'm starting to think that I'll just end up fucking it up with every guy. I'm not sure if I have 'daddy issues' but I do want to know how to overcome my fear of commitment. | May or may not have daddy issues and want to know how to get over fear of commitment and stop being attracted to older married men |
t3_wefjy | relationship_advice | [25/m] Work and Stress | So I've [25/m] been dating my boyfriend [24/m] for almost 2 years now. When we started out he did not have a steady full time job. Fast-forward to now, I went through my own job crisis in 2011 and he managed to stay with me through it all, and luckily for him, he found a job of his own.
This being his first full time, 5 day a week job, he tends to get very stressed out. Money and time have always caused him stress and I try my best to be there for him but it just seems like my comfort and presence is more of a shooting board for all his frustration.
Now I'm getting stressed out every time I'm with him. I can't seem to help him get destressed after work. He seems to carry it around with him and the job just gets worse from his perspective.
I've tried helping him look for other jobs, but he claims he doesn't have the time and is too scared that his new job won't pay enough.
I guess I just want to know how I should proceed? Should I lay off and just listen or should I actively offer advice and try and make his life better? | stressed out BF makes me stressed and I don't know how to make him feel better. |
t3_41r3cw | relationships | I [32F] can only bond with people over sadness | I tend to attract broken birds. Sometimes my friends joke that you must have [x] mental illnesses to hang out with me. I myself suffer from depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder. The latter manifests itself in that I'm ruled by my emotions. I'm functional- I have a good job, plenty of savings and an active social life.
For most of my 20s I was in a relationship with a man who also suffered depression. He knew what my depressive episodes felt like and would guide me through them. He wasn't weirded out by them. We soothed eachother' emotional wounds. However, he was not at all functional and a couple of years ago, that relationship ended.
I haven't been interested in dating again until anoint 6 months ago when I created an OKCupid profile. I've met with a number of men. All of them have been interested in them, but I can't make myself interested in them. That sounds arrogant, I know. It's not intentional. I'm naturally disinterested in people by default. I'm not even sure how I have friends. I guess extreme apathy is part of depression.
Recently I met a guy who is really nice who I share a lot in common with. Like, A LOT. It's weird how many obscure interests we share. However, I feel nothing for him. I'm angry at myself because I really want to feel something for him. He's attractive and we get on well. But I just can't feel a romantic spark and I'm worried it's because I can only bond with people when we both have a sort of sadness we can share in. I feel close to people when we're talking about negative feelings. I'm embarrassed to share those feelings normally. Only people I really love and trust get to share in that.
This guy seems perfectly happy, which I envy. I've tried hinting to him that I've been feeling down, and he responded with cat pics like a champ. But I just can't seem to connect with him. I'm trying really hard, but I don't want to string him on. I know that given all this I'm kind of the opposite of a good romantic match, hence being 32 and single I guess.
Suggestions? | I have a lot of bad feels and can only manage to form a connection with people who have/understand these feels and it's fucking up my attempts at dating. |
t3_i3ow4 | AskReddit | What makes a person interesting? | Is this quantifiable? There is no universal scale as far as I know. Wouldn't this be entirely subjective? For instance, I find a person interesting based on the way that they interact with the rest of the world - not on their repertoire of hobbies. Just because someone is the best ship in a bottle builder the world has ever seen (no offense if you are), should not automatically make said person "interesting".
I am asking because last night, somewhat jokingly, my SO (of 8 months) told me I was uninteresting and that I should be more interesting. I have asked him what he would find "interesting", but that defeats the purpose (if he already knows about a hobby of mine, it wont be surprising or stimulate conversation).
for reference: I already exercise a good deal (running, swimming, biking, lifting weights), have a job, read books, know french, go to college...I have mild interests in many things, but none are up to the level of "hobby". | What do you think about hobbies and how important they are in contributing to the value of a relationship (romantic or not)? |
t3_1zzfui | relationships | Me [20 M] and my friend(?) [21 F] of several months - don't know how to proceed | Hey guys, I'm a noob to this subreddit on a throw away account.
I'll try to keep it to he point, ask for more: Met this awesome girl at college back in November. We went through winter break while keeping in touch, came back and started spending a lot of time together and doing stuff.
Anyways, we text good morning every so often, ask about each other's day, etc. However, when I bring up a relationship she isn't sure - wants to focus on herself, etc. but says I'm a great guy at the same time (nobody ever treated her so well). I feel like I'm in such a mess here and I don't know what to do. We get intimate and whatnot...but it's like FWB except we've both made it obvious there's more than that between us.
She's going out of the country during spring break and I'd like to see her and whatnot before then. But I don't know if I should approach the topic (that I'd like to see her) directly, indirectly, or at all. Obviously I care if these thoughts are running through my mind.
What would be a good move (in general)? I've tried talking to her and she never knows what she wants. And the whole conversation just kind of gets ignored. But I hate to give up, especially when we both admit there's something. I really enjoy her company.
(She even said about going to concerts together this summer and stuff. It's kinda weird...)
Thanks guys. | Girl giving mixed signals or something - doesn't know what she wants |
t3_2533r3 | tifu | TIFU by accidentally playing an Efukt video in school for my whole class to see/hear | So, earlier this year i was having a great wank.
Had been horny all day and this was very late during the night.
I like this site called Efukt, it has some really disturbing videos but really some great once and a bit messed up.
So i lubed up my cock and started to masterbate.
Nearly as soon as i finished i fell asleep and didn't pay attention to the fact that my computer was not plugged into the wall.
At sometime during the night it became powerless.
The morning after i woke up and realized that i was already late for school, but as always i didn't really mind.
I just sat down in class, plugged my computer into the wall and pressed the power button.
AS SOON as i pressed it i got reminded what i was doing when i fell asleep.
The video started playing again behind my computer lock screen, so could do nothing to stop it.
Those fucking moans still hunt my memories, the whole class stopped and they started laughing and i honestly wished i could just die. | I accidentally opened a porn video in the middle of class in January. |
t3_fewqm | AskReddit | Anyone willing to help feed stray cats in Tampa? | There are 7 stray cats that live behind the shopping plaza where I work. I've been feeding them for a little over a year, since I moved here.
I've lately had trouble feeding them regularly and wanted to ask if anyone around N Dale Mabry Highway would be interested in helping out once or twice a week. I can provide the food.
I prefer to feed them Wiskas, because that's what my own cats liked best.
Also, whoever is putting stuff that looks like cheerios into their bowls a couple times a month, I really appreciate your help, but please stop, they don't like it. If you see this message, PM me and I will gladly share the stuff I buy with you.
Here are some pictures:
[
I didn't get all of them, but their names are:
Tarzan, King, Snegurachka, Panther-kun, Pussy and Brothers (I still haven't thought of an appropriate name for 2 of them, but they look alike and both let me pet the shit out of them, so I love 'em). | Anyone willing to help me feed cats in Tampa around N Dale Mabry Highway? Thanks. |
t3_3g7k3z | relationships | My [24M] ex-girlfriend [20F] will not block me. | I [M24] broke up with my ex-girlfriend [F20] 5 months ago. I have an autoimmune disease and had a new job at the time. I became rundown and was not giving her enough attention. She told me she was upset, and we had a confusing conversation in which she stated she was not happy and became very quiet and unresponsive to questions. (In retrospect I think coming from an abusive home caused her to her disconnect from the confrontation.) I assumed she wanted to break up with me based on my similar past experiences. So to cut to the chase, I broke up with her. I didn't want to, but I felt it would make her happy and save me some shame.
After a few days of rest, I realized how important she was to me and how much I missed her. I began texting her and dropped gifts off at her house. We talked a few times on the phone, and she made it clear she wanted only to be friends because she was so hurt I broke up with her. I blocked her out of my mind and literally on Facebook for a month. But I could not stop thinking about her.
I eventually gave in and unblocked her. We had the "I can only be friends." conversation again and I told her I can't do that. My mind does not work that way. I told her to block me because I will always persue more than a friendship. | I broke up with ex but want her back. She doesn't want me, but ignore my request she block me. |
t3_zc1i8 | relationships | A friend [18f] and myself [18m] thought about dating about 2 weeks ago, and it kinda spiraled badly. | OK, my friend [18f] and I [18m] have been friends for about 2 years, and were "dating" (never official) for about 9 months before she headed off the college. One day before class started, she messaged me on Facebook saying I need to come visit her. She admitted to liking me over a year ago, and I've liked her for some time as well. The end of that week, I go to visit her, and she rejects me, saying that she really didn't feel different about this meeting than usual. We decided to remain friends and that was that.
Wednesday afterwards, something doesn't seem right, and I ask a few questions and find out she had met someone else they day before I visited her. I was pretty shocked. I decided to not talk to her for a couple days while my parents console my broken self. I'm usually a fairly upbeat person, so this is rare for me to be depressed. A couple days later, we decide to be friends again, and I generally feel better and thought I had finally gotten over here. Last night, she updated that she was in a relationship with the fellow she just met. I feel like vomiting. I go to bed and can hardly sleep. I wake up several times and just feel crappy. I haven't talked to her since Saturday. How do I handle this sudden heartbreak? | girl says we need to date, I go to ask her out a few days later and she rejects me. Turns out she had met someone the day before and is now dating him. wat do? |
t3_plnx9 | AskReddit | Guys - How do you want a girl to tell you it's her "time of the month?" | I realize this isn't a huge issue for couples, but I always have this dilemma with a more casual setting. Situation would hypothetically be; got introduced a short while ago and have only hung out once or twice with heavy flirting, think it's going in that direction.
Do I act disinterested and risk deterring you forever? (I hang out with the geeky guys who don't like to make a move.)
Do I make a joke of it? Do I just be straightforward? How far in advance do I warn you, to avoid blue balls?
If I joke, which jokes are easy to get, but not so gory that you totally gross out?
I don't want to gross y'all out, but my biological rhythms are kind of a fact. | It's Shark Week so I can't "marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten." Unless you're into that. |
t3_e4oc6 | AskReddit | Dear veterans of reddit, should I call my brother today? | I've always been torn about this. My older brother joined the reserves for college money and became an inactive reservist after a dispute with the military. Shortly after the war started, he was called back into service.
He never once bitched or complained. He went back to boot camp, did his training again, and went over to Iraq without ever so much as groaning, and I can't be prouder. He never talks about Iraq though since he's been back. Sure, he's mentioned some small things here and there but I've never heard him talk about it for more than five seconds.
So I'm wondering vets, would you like to receive a call from your little brother on Veteran's Day reminding you of the war? I don't want to bring up bad memories for him since he's moved on since the war and started a whole new life, but like I said, I'm proud as hell of him and I'd like for him to know that. | My brother is a vet of Iraq and has moved on, should I call him to tell him know how proud I am or just let him move on? |
t3_1c1if6 | relationships | I'[m] 18 and my 17 year old [f]wb said we should try being in a relationship today. Help. | So I've known this girl for almost two years, and last year we hooked up at a party.
I started getting to know her better, and began to like her.
Then, like two weeks ago we hooked up again. We got with each other quite a few times over two weekends, and today we had a bit of a talk with each other.
We both 'like' each other, but as she says - we have nothing in common.
This is true, we have completely different tastes in music, fashion, movies, everything.
She has said she does not want to date me, then break up and lose me as a friend
THEN she said that she wants to try 'going out.' And if it doesn't work, we break up big deal. If it does work, then we will keep dating.
Is this going to work at all? | FWB says we have nothing in common, says she doesnt want to date and break up. Then says we should try being in a relationship. Will it work? What do I do? |
t3_2uiqc4 | Advice | Please help! My new boss is engaged to the man who took my virginity when I was 16. It gets worse... | **When I was sixteen** I fell in love with a 22 year old man in a neighboring city. He said I was his girlfriend, and I ran away from home a few times to see him. I was a wreck when I was 16, and I let him take my virginity. I thought things were okay, when suddenly he stopped answering my texts, and after three weeks of silence he told me he was going into rehab because of his cocaine addiction. I had no idea about the cocaine, but I understood that he couldn't be my boyfriend anymore.
A few months later I was told by a shared acquaintance that this man had another girlfriend, whom he had been with long before - and long after - our relationship. I could't wrap my head around this, I got really angry and sent him a bunch of long, sad emails. When he didn't answer, I spent the next year trying to forget. I eventually succeeded.
He contacted me a few years later and apologized for his behavior, but I didn't want to talk to him and I haven't heard from him since.
- - -
**I'm 25 now**, and I was recently hired for a short engagement in a local design firm. I looked up my boss on Facebook - she's a lovely, kind woman - and it turns out she's engaged to this man. I don't quite know what to do. Since they have similar careers and live together, chances are I'll meet him at work. While I know I'll be okay with seeing him, I don't quite know how to deal with *her*. Do I tell her about his past? Do I suggest she talks about me with him, hinting at the possibility of past occurrences? Do I just leave it alone and act surprised when I see my ex? What then? Should I just laugh off the fact that he lied about being a drug addict and cheated on his girlfriend with a sixteen year old runaway?
For all I know, they might already have discussed this. But still, how do I deal with this? | Cocaine-addicted ex who took my virginity at 16 is engaged to my new boss, I don't know how to deal with situations that might come up. |
t3_2w97mb | personalfinance | My mom has $0 in retirement funds at age 60 and also at least $120k in loans. Including CC debt and unpaid assets, I'm guessing it's somewhere between $300k and $500k debt altogether. I want to email a financial advisor to set up an appointment about this. What exactly do I say in this email? | Disclaimer: I know I don't have to help her, and I don't feel obligated to help her. I'm doing this because I want to. Please no questions or comments claiming otherwise. Please just believe in me and my intentions. I need help writing an email.
I have a 101-level, maybe 102-level understanding of personal finance. This is why I want to contact a professional, because my mom has too much debt and too little time left before retirement to pay it back without professional help.
I don't know how detailed to be when I first contact this person. My mom is an old Asian lady. Clearly she has no idea what she's doing. **What info do I put in this email? What questions should I ask?**
I found the financial advisor through my mom's credit union.
Thanks all! | See title. |
t3_pcfqp | relationship_advice | How to deal with girls that don't put out as often as I'd like. | I'm 26 (m) and fairly actively both physically and sexually. My sex drive literally drives me bonkers and makes it difficult to find woman who can actually keep up.
What usually happens is I'll meet a girl I like and we'll have sex within the first week of meeting. Then after they'll usually make me wait 2-4 weeks before we have sex again.
During these waiting periods I start seeking out other girls, ones who I really don't have much intrest in other than sex. This behavior has never really bothered me much before, at least not until recently.
I've been getting this feeling that this behavior is going to catch up with me and possibly ruin my chances at a relationship with the girls I actually do like. Although I've not had any acidental leaks of other girls I've slept with.
The only leaks I've had were intentional ones, mostly in cases were the girl is trying to punish me. The usual punishment is witholding sex, to which I make clear that it's not working. In most of these cases I endup dumping the girl.
But back to my main point about worrying that it'll catch up to me. It started to become a concern after meeting a new girl recently. She's 21 and her last relationship ended with her boyfriend leaving her for another girl. It's not clear to me but he might of cheated on her.
As it stands we aren't in any relationship, but worried if she does find out about the girls I'm using to fill the gap between when we have sex. It's concerning because she comes off as a bit anxious and was for awhile sending me a large amount of daily text messages.
These calmed down after I told her I liked her and that I knew she liked me. But, in general I feel like I have to ignore her just get her to put out. I'm just trying to figure out how to address the situation. | I've been seeing a girl that doesn't put out as much as I'd like and have been sleeping with other girls to fill the gap. Worried she might react badly, even though we aren't in any kind of relationship. |
t3_3e6rqh | self | A friendly reminder to always back up your data. | Today I nearly had a heart attack. I noticed on my Galaxy Prevail that most of photos and music weren't showing. I quickly found out that my 16GB microSD card was no longer attached to my phone. It must have fallen out when I removed the battery.
M heart started beating faster, I started to sweat and my stomach had a feeling of complete dread. Everything is replaceable, I know that, but that card had photos of my fiance and I back when we were just a couple in High School growing up in our small town.
After a very scary five minutes of searching I realized that I had made a backup of all of my data when I switched phones. I plugged in my removable hard drive and there were all of the pictures containing our first dates, prom, my proposal to her, etc. I was so relieved! I lost only a few recent photos, that I can live with. | If you value something virtual make a backup! Make it right now. Hell make two of them just in case!" |
t3_2itwyf | dating_advice | I [16M] hooked up with a girl [16F] and even though our feelings are mutual, she "doesnt date". Please help me. | A few weeks ago I was at a party and really hit it off with a mutual friend, who i'll call Sam. Sam and I ended up hooking up that night and both had a great time.
We have a class together and have started talking a whole lot. She asked for my number and texted me first. We've been talking a lot and she's defintly showing signs of interest and acting flirty and whatnot. At this point I thought a relationship would soon start
Today, she told me she "really likes me" but that she doesn't date. She also said that she would really like to hang out soon.
I didn't push for details why she doesnt date, but told her I also really liked her and that (cliche incoming) that she's different from other girls. And that's not a lie, she is far from a typical. After that we went on a walk and talked for like 30 mins. We just talked about random things (college, books, music etc) and both seemed to have a good time. She kept running her hand through my hair also, witch I thought was strange. At the end of the day I wished her luck on her race this weekend and told her to text or call me sometime.
I'm so confused. We've hooked up before, and she's been nothing but flirty and intersted in me sense then, but suddenly she doesn't date. I am really getting mixed signals here! Please help me, /r/dating_advice . | Hooked up with girl, been flirty sense then, asked for my number and wants to hang out, but doesn't date. Where do I go from here? |
t3_2q20yl | relationships | Me (22 F) was the "other woman" with a 28 M for 5 months, he's married, I know his wife. I broke things off but am guilt wrecked. Help. | To pre face this, I had known that he had been unfaithful to his wife before and it is something of a running joke in our circle that he flirts with anything that walks.
Things started in August. It progressed from me being active about her knowing that all we were doing was hanging out and drinking. She said it was cool, and that he needed other friends. But one night, under the influence of a bottle of vodka, we kissed. Ill spare the details but things obviously progressed from there to us having sex. At the end of September I moved 2 hours away for school and he would drive up once a week to see me.
The wife had no knowledge of us hanging out, outside of the summer.
I have been trying to think of why the fuck I would have ever let this happened. I started to realize, that I was incredibly lonely. I had made any excuse for this behavior because I felt so unloved by the last 3 guys I had tried to make things work with. Maybe I even thought that since he had done this before it was okay. But it wasn't. The only time I didn't feel awful about it was when we saw each other.
I don't have any feelings towards him now, and when I told him we were done it was like a huge weight off my chest.
The obvious issue now is that I will still see him and his wife, and I do really care about her. No one has any idea about the affair, and I can't tell anyone about it. I have to keep it from my best friends and his wife and I hate every second of it. I can't figure out what my next move is. I know I made a horrible mistake, and I wish I could take it back but I can't. Can someone please help me figure out how to forgive myself, or how to move on from this? I am so afraid that I won't ever find love now because of this..that I am damaged goods because I accepted this relationship and didn't say no. | Had an affair with a married guy in my friends group. Broke things off, and now I'm trying to deal with the guilt. |
t3_206hue | relationships | Me [20M] and my friend [19 F] had a very strong friendship (non romantic) for 2 years, but it's falling apart | Hi guys, i'm a 20 year old male college student, and my 19 year old female friend is also in college. We know each other for 2 years, but the friendship in his purest form only started a couple (4) months ago.
short story: at first we just saw each other when we were partying, or in school, but it started to get better and better between us when we talked almost daily. After a while we shared some personal issues, she shared her problems, and so did I. We realy understood each other very very well...
the latest 4 weeks she had some personal troubles and calls me daily (sometimes with the tears in her eyes), she texts me a lot, we meet up frequently (not daily because we don't have time for that). I basicly tried to support her in the difficult times she went trough (and i personly think i did well...).
Since last friday everything is back to normal, there are no huge problems anymore.
Here's the thing: this happened from the one day to the other (started saturday)... When i send a text to her, she doesn't even reply, when i call her, she doesn't pick up her phone, when i ask something on facebook she reads it, but doesn't reply...
an example:today i asked her how her day went, (because i knew that today was a special day for her (school related)), and she didn't even replied to it.. a few hours later she asks me some technical information (about the school stuff), i texted her back... but she doesn't reply anymore now...
Its like she doesn't even care about me anymore, even when i ask if somethings wrong she replies with no, not at all. i have the feeling that i'm only good to help her fix the problems...
I never felt this lonely before... it just hurts :( | How to deal with a REAL friendship that is falling apart? |
t3_39safa | relationships | My (19M) SO's (17F) father is forcing me to speak to him after he found out we are having sex | My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year and a half. Her mother recently was told by an unknown person that we have been having sex. Her mother was not very upset, and helped her go through the process of getting birth control. Her mother did not want to tell her father, because there was essentially no reason for him to know and it was unlikely he would react well. Her father found out from her young siblings that she had gotten a prescription, connected the dots, and asked her mother directly. Her mother told him the truth, insisting that she couldn't lie to him (despite the fact that she already was). I came over the next day, not knowing that he had been told, and he essentially forced my girlfriend to make me leave the house. Later that day my girlfriend informed me that I wasn't allowed to see her anymore until I sat down and had a "man to man" talk with her dad. I refused and have continued to refuse because I think it is unfair of him to connect a punishment to the conversation and then try to act like it is on even ground. I also do not want to concede to her parents in any way and show them that I can be forced to do what they want if they simply hurt our relationship.
I have no respect for her father. He refuses to work to support his family, lives off the good grace of his wealthy parents, and always chooses himself over my girlfriend (for instance he made her come back from her vacation 3 days early so she could babysit). I work, go to school full time, and support myself completely. While I understand a father wanting to have a candid conversation in this circumstance I fear that it is simply a power play. I won't feign respect for the man. My girlfriend has turned on me at this point (2 weeks after the punishment began) and I no longer know what to do. Any advice would be really aprreciated. | Girlfriends father found out were having sex. Doesn't allow me to see her until I talk to him. |
t3_lnyn2 | AskReddit | Reddit, my father's laziness has all but ruined our family which is now about to lose the house and split up, I just want to move out on my own at this point, any suggestions? | My father retired from Lt. Colonel in the army well over a year ago and said he was going to get a job but has hardly even goggled job listings since then. We live week to week off of my mother's paycheck yet can't afford our home anymore.
So, the current plan as we're completely out of money is for my family to split up, my mother to move to Montana with her folks and my father to Kentucky with his. I want to use the remaining six semesters on the GI bill to afford my own apartment while continuing to search for a job and just get away from everyone as I'm quite done with the familial drama.
I'm not asking for any sympathy or favors, I just want advice as to how feasible this may be, or any suggestions as to how to go about it.
I'm currently in college working towards a certificate in Personal Training, don't (currently) have a job but I do have safety nets in the area. So what'd you think? | Family is fucked and I need advice as to how to go about surviving on my own. |
t3_2fyu3o | relationships | My [16M] crush [17F] told me she'd rather to be friends but is ignoring me | She was my crush pretty much since like December of last year. Beginning of summer this year I finally got the courage to go talk to her and we went on 2 dates this summer. The dates actually went super well. Well as awkward as I was, she talked a lot and saved us from those silent moments. She probably noticed I was nervous.
Almost a month ago a week before school (also a month after our second date, without any communication), she tells me she doesn't have a problem with us seeing each other but it would be in a friendly way, and it totally broke my heart.
A week later I see her at school, and she sees me but it seems that she is ignoring me. She literally just looks away or looks at her friend and it makes me even more sad day after day.
I'd really like to get over this, but I also still want to try to date her but deep inside I know I probably don't have any other chance because I messed up. | Went on 2 dates with my crush, a month later she says she'd rather us to be friends, I can't get over it and I'm extremely sad. |
t3_1cz4st | relationships | My husband [36] walked out on me [33] on Monday after 13 years and I don't know what to do. | We've been together for 13 years and married for almost eight. We have a son [10] and a daughter [6], and we were planning another. My husband has this week off and on Monday morning he came up to the bedroom and told me he doesn't want another baby. I was taken aback and didn't react too well. I didn't say much, just got up, dressed and went to the gym. When I came back I was still pretty upset and not ready to talk, but he was standing waiting for me. He ended up walking out and didn't come back for a couple of hours. When he came back we did finally talk and he told me he was really unhappy and had been for a while.
I didn't see this coming at all. He said a lot of things and we hugged and kissed and I packed his bag and he's been up at his mother's ever since. I'm not coping very well, I haven't eaten since Sunday (it's now 1.30am Wednesday) and I barely slept last night and can't sleep now. I've had time to think about the things he said and talked to a friend and I've realised I haven't been myself for a long time-I swing between extreme highs and lows, I lose my temper at the slightest provocation, I have trouble sleeping and concentrating, and I get this horrible feeling of being trapped.
There's more than that, but I know it's me that's driven him away, but I didn't even know there was anything wrong till now, and I can't believe I never noticed how bizarre my behaviour is. I've made an appointment to see my doctor first thing Thursday, and my husband is coming over to talk tomorrow afternoon. My question is, how do I save my marriage, and has anyone else been in a situation like this? (And sorry if this is too long) | I've been acting crazy for a long time without knowing, driving my husband away. How do I save our marriage? |
t3_3s3fjn | relationships | I [21F] only want what I can't have. | I [21F] have a huge crush on this guy [20M] I've known for three years. He's my type in that he's very aloof and unattainable. I've stood by and seen the way he treats women–dating them for a while but never committing to anything and then dumping them in some pretty cruel ways. I'm the type of person who always wants what I can't have, and so I find myself extremely attracted to him. I've grown a lot closer to him recently, and I'm considering trying to test the waters and see if he would be interested in me as well.
What complicates things is that our mutual friend [21M] has been pursuing(?) me on and off for a long time but never actually made a move (ie. we've gone out on what could be considered dates but he has never done more than put his arm around me). I'm not attracted to this second guy, but he's a very stable, sensible, and caring. This complicates the situation because even though this second guy has never made it clear how he feels about me, he may still be hurt if I were to get involved with our friend, the first guy.
I don't expect anything long term out of either of these situations since we'll be graduating soon, but sometimes I don't know if I should just stick with the safe guy I'm not that attracted to since I haven't had a lot of experience in relationships and I do enjoy his company. I'm worried that as long as the first guy is around, I'll always want him more. | Play it safe or risk it to get the biscuit? |
t3_2yioq1 | relationships | Could I [f22] be overthinking the way that the guy [m27] I'm potentially dating communicates? | I've been talking to this guy I really like. He lives a ways away and he works a lot so we don't get to see eachother a lot, but when I do see him things are great. However, when we talk through text it is so hard to tell how he feels about me.
Recently, we went on an ultra casual date. We just talked for a bit, he bought me lunch and then he went on his way. I really enjoyed it tho!! We had a big long hug and he told me to text him more. The thing is, he only replies to my texts 50% of the time, even when I send pictures. It made me feel like maybe he doesnt like me or I'm too pushy but I only text 1 or 2 times a week. The rational part of me is saying that he must just be busy (he runs a business) but I still feel insecure about it all. He had to cancel the next few times we were supposed to meet which didn't help. He did suggest that we get lunch again though, but we have yet to schedule it. I sent him a cute hello text the other day and he didn't text back either!
So I'm really confused. When I see him there is hella chemistry and it definitely seems he's into me, yet when we text I feel almost like he may be annoyed even though I barely text him! He only replies to questions and doesn't talk casually (even tho he did at first) I could just be projecting insecurities, and he could just be a bad texter but does anyone have any advice? He did say he wants to meet this week but I'm afraid to text to confirm since he's so terrible about texting back! Even though he straight TOLD ME I could text him more!! | I'm acting like a scatterbrained dummy and I am having trouble interpreting the communication of this guy I like! Help?! |
t3_1qgfmg | relationships | Me [21 M] had brief relationship dating with [20 F] we split, but she showed up unexpectedly at my work and made out with my after 10 days no contact | Dated a girl for about 2 weeks, it went right from first date (make out after walking her home) to hanging out with mutual friends and sleeping together regularly. Then after two weeks we had an argument and she told me she didn't want to see me any more and I was fine with that.
We talked about a week after that over coffee and decided we could still be friends but she told me she didn't want a relationship because she didn't want to hurt me if she decided to see other guys and I said we didn't have to be exclusive and I wouldn't be jealous if she dated other people (I wouldn't).
I asked her to hang out a couple of times and we did once or twice but she also flaked a couple of times. Then after about 10 days of not seeing each other or talking she shows up at my work and tells me to take a break because she wants to talk. We go to a back room and she says she doesn't want to talk and grabs me and we make out for about 5 minutes and I tell her to come back when my shift is over.
So I walk her home, making out most of the way, and I think she's going to take me home, but she tells me she's seeing this guy and it's not fair to him (I think theyve gone on 2/3 dates, no sex)
So I drop her off and she texts me 5 minutes later telling me she's confused about how she feels now.
Seeing her tomorrow, how do I approach the situation? I have no problem if she sees other guys, I am fine being in a casual relationship with her as I know I'll win in the long run, but I just need to know how to get her back to dating / hanging out as friends?
Thanks in advance! | Dated girl briefly but intensely, break up, she starts dating casually, comes to my work and makes out with me and tells me she's confused about how she feels about me |
t3_prpql | AskReddit | What is something your roommate does that constantly bothers you? | Reddit what really grinds your gears about your roommates? What small habits annoy you? Do they feel you're room is meant only for storage? Do they drive your car without asking? Or do they just wreck your things?
I'll start:
I allowed my roommate to borrow my (expensive) moccasins once when we were in a hurry. Ever since, she has borrowed them constantly without asking even after I reminded her that she could borrow them as long as she would ask me first. She continued to wear them without asking and even took them home with her over Christmas and on weekends to tournaments.
A couple of weeks ago I finally got my hands on them to check them out. They were salt stained, the soles were falling off, the suede laces broken, and the back worn through (her feet are 2 sizes smaller so they dragged on the ground). She agreed to buy me a new pair as I hadn't gotten to wear them, so when I gave her a card (with the model number and price of the exact same pair) from the store she told me we would shop around for a cheaper pair (they're not sold anywhere else), even though she's loaded and can afford them.
She also takes my clothes and eats my food then proceeds to complain about it and throw what she doesn't like (ex. kale, favourite t-shirt) into the garbage whenever she wants and it drives me up the wall. | Spoiled rotten roommate takes my things and ruins them, then eats my food and bitches about it. |
t3_18otsp | Advice | I can only work under a pressure | I've spent days or even months on figuring out why I can't motivate myself to do anything and I understood what's the cause. I realized that I work extremly efficient when I'm under a pressure of a deadline. If I know something is (not) going to happen because I finish something I will sit till 5 AM and finish it no matter what; and it's somehow good right? Being good at working under high stress. But it has it's downside, I can't motivate myself to do anything if it's not immediate, simpliest things as finishing a game or learning something new. I just can't do it, I get distracted in few minutes and *poof* I'm doing something completly different. So here's my question: how do I convince myself that my "ficional" deadlines are real and I have to keep them. Because I can tell myself "you have one week to learn this", but without feeling that's a real issue I'm not gonna do it. | I can work highly efficient under high pressure, but I can't finish anything if it's not immediate. How do I cope with that? |
t3_2f1k65 | relationships | I [19F] just quit a job (that was the second job I was holding) today that I had only been working a week at and that paid decently (over $12 an hour) because I was unhappy there, and my SO [25M] is upset with me. | I have been working a job for a few months now that I absolutey adore (and pays a little bit more than minimum wage/has awesome consistent tips) and I just recently started a second job that I was feeling unhappy about after the second day there. I thought I could hold out for a few months there just to make enough money to add a decent chunk to my savings (and help with moving w/ my SO) but I just couldn't do it, and I quit today (after being there for a week)
I told my SO and he sounded really upset (partly because I made a kind of snap decision and also because he thought I could really save a lot working there and make it easier for us to move). I can understand why he's angry, but my happiness comes first in my life and that job was making it extremely difficult to be happy, but at the same time I feel like I disappointed him and set us back in saving money. | Quit better paying second job because I was unhappy. SO gets mad b/c of rash decision and loss of better pay. Really just need advice on how to handle this. |
t3_1ek341 | self | Worried my dog might have rabies | She was fine this morning, but a little while ago she started barking at nothing, and she was ignoring me even though she's usually one to come running the minute you call her name. She ran outside, and I followed her and that's when I saw she was foaming at the mouth. So I went inside and closed the door so she can't come back in because I'm scared that she might get aggressive, and I called my mom at work to tell her what was happening, so she's going to come home as soon as she can. And I've been crying non-stop because I love this dog and I know if it is rabies it's too late and I don't know what to do. I've had this dog almost ten years, since she was a puppy and I'm not ready to lose her. | I've never been so happy to look like a total dumbass. It looks like the dog is going to be okay! |
t3_37sx0b | relationships | An insane brother sends me creepy unwanted letter and makes me uncomfortable. | I'm 23 he's 31. When he used to live with the family he harass everyday us to sell our house and relocate because of a "coming apocalypse". He would ask me to try to convince my parents. Asking my parents for thousands of dollards so he can buy land or a small land for himself, but he didn't work a day in his life and my parents are just middle-class. He has a very elaborate and high-demand plan for the family to move to another state or country. He jokingly said that he'll kidnap us.
My dad had a heart attack and afterwards he didn't want to tolerate his harassment anymore. My brother was sorry but denied any responsability and continued harassing us, so eventually my dad made him move out. He's in another state now, barely making by so my parents still send him money so he doesn't become homeless because he wastes his welfare on beer and gets into bar fights.
He still calls a few times per month, everytime i tell him to leave us alone. He'll talk over me to sell me his plan for the 1000th time that i explained above and i used to listen out of politeness but i have to be rude and tell him off because he won't care otherwise.
He sends us letters every few months, about 10 pages of nothing but crazy conspiration theories, apocalypse. I quicly skim over them but every pages is full of crazy talk and it creeps me out that he's messaging me and it honestly makes me worried for my safety and i have some real anxiety resulting from this.
I don't know what i could do. I don't want to get a restraining order because i don't want to cut communications in case he has actual legit communication purposes, or i don't want a crazy drunkard that has half of the family's inheritence to resent me. | Mentally ill brother harassing us for money, selling house, tries to get us to believe that everything points to the fall of civilization and the apocalypse. It's really taxing and i've been getting anxiety. IDK what are my options. |
t3_12bqew | relationships | [20M] Seeing this girl who says she is unhappy, but can't quite put a reason as to why.. | This girl I've been seeing for about a month has recently begun to get upset. Through our mutual friends very childish problems have come up that have put her on edge.
We will still talk about things as per normal and hang out, but at some point in the time we are together her facial expressions just go blank and it's obvious something is bothering her. I query her about it, but she just gets very quiet and uncomfortable. She DOES still like me, but to what extent im not totally sure anymore.
She doesn't like to talk about things very much so asking for more explanation doesn't help much, she just says 'idk im just not happy...'
Nothing has been decided about whether we should see each other more or not, but I feel like something has to be done.
Reddit, what would be the best thing to do here? I assume some of you have seen something similar to this before, if so, how did that end/not end? | Girl im seeing likes me and recently has been saying shes not happy without giving much detail into why. What to do? |
t3_pejz7 | AskReddit | Things I hate about reddit. | 1. Everyone thinks they are the shit and makes the most annoying jokes and comments trying to get karma.
2. Every day on the front page there is a picture of an animal that I could google image search with my dick.
3. Sexual comments on every single post with a woman in it. Who gives a fisting fuck! Go masturbate in the corner and cry.
4. Atheist pricks with absolutely no respect. They make fun of everyone and post the most insulting things about other religions as if they are better than everyone else because they believe there is no God.
5. References to movies and shit that half the people don't know what the fuck it means. The other half thinks they are so much better because they can relate and make jokes too.
6. Its not CAKE DAY! Its a birthday! Why don't we call Halloween pumpkin day or new year's drink day?
7. Whenever someone makes the front page they are like, "wow haha, I never thought i would get so many upvotes holy shit! | and annoying links that say things like: [this] or [why not?]( |
t3_1vqyt5 | personalfinance | What should be my next credit card? | I'm 20 years old with a credit score of 740+.
I've gotten dozens of offers, but the two that stick out to me so far from the offers are the **AmEx Blue** and the **Chase Sapphire**. I know you have to have an excellent history and amazing credit to get these cards, which is what attracts me.
They both offer amazing rewards and perks. | AmEx Blue or Chase Sapphire. Help me decide. Convince me which is better. |
t3_3m7kw7 | relationships | I [M27] need help forgiving someone [M28] who hasn't apologized. | I had a roommate who treated me terribly for the last 6 months that we lived together. I moved out, and we have not communicated in 3 months. He never did anything unforgivable, but he also never apologized.
There are a lot of reasons that I want to forgive him:
- People say that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
- I'm Jewish, so I've heard a lot in the last two weeks (the high holidays) about the importance of forgiving those who have wronged me.
- My whole life, I've watched my dad complain about people who wronged him decades ago. It's an unpleasant trait of his that I don't want to inherit.
The "why" is very clear to me, but the "how" is proving to be very difficult. Every time I think about letting go, I think about what he did, and my anger resurfaces.
I realize it hasn't been very long since this was an ongoing problem, and I don't expect to get over it overnight. I just don't want to be angry about this for the rest of my life.
If he apologized, I would be happy to forgive him and move on, but I don't think that will ever happen.
I have a follow-up question: I'm fortunate that he never did anything unforgivable, but what if he had? How do you move past something that can't be forgiven? | I want to stop dwelling on past offenses, but I don't think I will ever receive an apology. |
t3_33y9fp | relationships | Me [18M] have KNOWN a girl for 4 years (all of highschool) but I finally MET her [18F] a day ago for the first time IN PERSON (it wasn't a catfish thankfully). She asked me to her prom like 2 weeks ago, and after last night I really like her. (Keep reading for details to make more sense) | She asked me to her prom and at first when i said no she got sad but i worked some things around because it seemed like a big deal to her, plus when she found out I had a prom date for my prom that's before her (who is just a friend) she got kinda sad. So asking me to prom and acting the way she was tells me she has to be interested in some way. Also when we were hanging out for the first time i looked for the obvious signs like touching me and being attentive. She playfully used me as an arm rest, put her head on my shoulder and we hugged. I also held her at the waist for a bit. She isnt the type for PDA and she isnt really a touchy person. So i took these as good signs, at the end of the night i wanted to kiss her but i felt a kiss on the lips would have been too much so instead i kiss her on the cheek and said bye. I noticed a huge smile on her face so i figured thats also a good sign. Im really wanting to know if she likes me back, because after that night i really got to like her. Prom is in 2 weeks and im going with her, should i actually kiss her at the end of the night? Do you think she likes me back? It's a really difficult time because we are both going to college in the fall. The reason I say she sends mixed signals is maybe because I'm over thinking or because we don't really talk about us moving forward but she isn't really about distance since she lives an hour and a half away and our schools will be about 2 hours away. For me it's not a big deal but she sees that as pretty far and I don't want to limit her on her college experience she is just getting to, and mine as well. | Just met this girl in person from her being just a person through a screen for 4 years. I really like her and I want to know if I she likes me back. I kissed her on the cheek and she asked me to her prom in 2 weeks should I kiss her for real at prom |
t3_l96a6 | AskReddit | Facebook friending people from years past...when is it okay/useful/good to do? A specific situation in text. | I was looking through photos of my high school friend (she got married this weekend),and I happened to notice this guy was there who I crushed on for like 3 years in high school (so like 6 years ago). He was always a good friend of mine, and we talked a lot, but he ended up dating my then best friend, and it was a huge mess. There were a lot of words said and we stopped being friends. Blame could be put on all parties involved. I was considering friending him on Facebook after seeing him in this album, but I don't know if there's really a reason to do so. I guess I just don't like leaving things bitter when I know that I'm over it, anyways. I figure he probably is too, since he's not dating that girl anymore. If I do refriend him, is it worse to send along a message saying "let bygones be bygones" or not? | Saw a picture of a guy friend that I had a falling out with years ago. Is it a good idea to reforge bridges or just leave them burned? |
t3_20ggk3 | relationships | [25m] with my [27F] She doesn't want to see me, because I'm friends with her ex. | We've been hooking up for 2 months and now she is having reservation because she doesn't want to ruin my friendship with her ex. We both agree that we have fun together and enjoy each others company. I'm at a loss right now as to where to go from here. I would rather be with her than keep him as a friend.
She hasn't told him that we have been seeing each other and she wanted to be the one to tell him. But I might just tell him and get it over with. IDK I'm super frustrated because I really like this girl and now I feel like I am going to lose them both. | Girl I am seeing wants to stop because I am friends with her ex: |
t3_2gsa3v | relationship_advice | I (F/23) feel cheated on by my husband(24) of a year. Advice, please? I'm not sure what to do. | My husband and I were together for four years before getting married, most everything has gone just fine.
However, he would talk to his ex-girlfriend a lot and it would make me very uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about her a lot, but to put it lightly she basically worships the ground he walks on, and she OBVIOUSLY still has feelings for him. He wrote it off as them being "just friends" but promised to stop responding to all of her messages/texts/phone calls. Great! I felt better.
Two years later, I find messages on his phone from her. I wasn't snooping, as I've trusted him, but it's not uncommon for us to share phones. It upset me, I confronted him and he decided that I was overreacting and he would continue to talk to her. Whatever, I trust him. No big deal, right? Maybe I am being silly.
A few months later I find that they were making phone calls back and forth and were talking for hours while I was asleep. (2am-5am) Or even while I was at work. He became secretive with his phone and wouldn't leaving it laying around at all. I drew the line there, I was NOT ok with anything happening behind my back.
I told him I didn't want them talking anymore, AT ALL, period. After weeks of telling him this, he finally decides to ignore her messages so I'll just leave him alone about it.
Fast forward, we get married! Everything is great, no more problems.
And now I've found him messaging her again. I confronted him and he says he "didn't think it would be a big deal." Even though I made it clear that I would consider it cheating if I found him doing this again. He had been hiding messages for weeks and only talking to her when I wasn't around or asleep.
He apologized, and blocked her number, saying it won't happen again. But now I can't look at him the same, I'm very hurt by all of this. What would you do in this scenario, RA? I need some advice. | Husband of a year, texts his ex-girlfriend after me asking him not to and catching him multiple times. Now what? |
t3_10a346 | relationships | Hey Reddit, my gf (F 21) is giving me the silent treatment, did I (M 21) fuck-up? | Gf and I were on a date and to finish off the night, we decided to casually walk along the plaza. As we were walking I noticed this one girl who looked similar to her so I casually said "hey babe, that girl looks like you." She replied with an "oh.." Now, some weird spirit must have possessed me when I added "actually, you look similar to a lot of girls." She laughed so I took nothing of it. Took her home and texted her good night, she didn't text back. It's been a whole day. We've been together for 2 years so I imagined things like that wouldn't bother her. She's been such a cool and down-to-earth gf and we share the same sense of humor. Did I fuck up or is she over-reacting? | Told gf she looks like other girls. |
t3_o6wd9 | dating_advice | How do I know if I like someone or am just attracted to them? | 19 year old male here. Throwaway account because my friends know my username. I can't tell when I like a girl or when I'm just enamored with or attracted to them. I also get insanely jealous about them if I'm enamored/attracted.
I always think I like them and make excuses for their personalities, then after the first time we hook up I lose these feelings and just kind of feel bad that I toyed with them.
Example: I really "liked" one of my friend's friends for like 3 months and was always too nervous to make a move beyond conversation and playful flirting. I finally did and we made out for a while and then afterwards I felt really shitty about it. We made plans to go on a date when we get back to college but I don't know how I feel any more. | I think that I like girls, then I hook up with them and I don't like them almost immediately afterwards. |
t3_z57mi | AskReddit | The company that I work for outsources all of the work and provides no real benefit to the client. Is this common in the corporate world? | I work in the very unsexy field of Environmental Consulting. Clients come to us to get building materials tested for the presence of lead and/or asbestos, and also to test their buildings for excess levels of Radon gas.
However, we don't actually do any of the work. As soon as we get the purchase order from the client we pick up the phone and call somebody cheaper to do the work. For this valuable "service", we scrape about 30% off the top.
To make things even crazier, we sometimes hire other "environmental management" companies that in turn will hire yet ANOTHER company to actually do the work. It's not uncommon for there to be 2 to 3 layers between the client and the guy actually performing the work.
We are also instructed to lie to our clients if they ask about this. We always tell them that our employees are performing the work, when in fact we never do. If our clients simply had the list of contractors that we have, they would have no logical reason to ever hire us ever again.
Is this a common business model in the corporate world? WTF is this? | We outsource everything and rip off our clueless clients. |
t3_1etb1s | relationships | Asked my SO if they had slept with anyone while we were apart. Kind of regret finding out otherwise. | I'm 28 and she's 26, been together for 3 years with a 5 month. We got back together and things have been nice, but kind of tense as of late because of re-location issues on her part for a great job opportunity which I encouraged her to take. We had a nice dinner tonight, had an honest talk about the whole move, and in that convo I, regrettably, asked and have been feeling kind of crushed by the answer. I know my SO had every right to do so, I know it was kind of my fault it happened because I decided not to be with her, but I feel really bad about our relationship now, I don't know how I feel about SO anymore, but I don't want to make a bad choice off something she did when I chose not to be around. I know it's immature to feel like she did something wrong to me, but I just feel that way. It's kind of a self confidence issue as well, I feel really unattractive, mainly because I didn't sleep with anyone and had this idea that SO was holding out. I feel like I ruined something for my self. | I feel like my relationship won't be the same after I found out my SO slept with other people while we were a part. |
t3_4tngng | relationships | Me [23F] with my sister [28F] she is making questionable life choices and I'm worried about my Niece [4F] | My sister has a 4 year old daughter with her partner [22M] who she has been with for 5 or so years.
For a while (about 3/4 months) she hasn't been getting on with her partner so much, mainly through a sense of frustration on my sister's part that he likes to party a lot, and that she feels she does more of the work (he works part time, she does all the house/child stuff) this isn't what the problem is but I feel is the catalyst to the main issue.
My sister has been going out a lot more and drinking, partying, and she has done some very questionable things while doing so. All of her friends are quite dodgy and into drugs and she herself was an addict before she met her partner and had a child. She has been clean since - until now.
She has been taking drugs, sleeping around (her partner doesn't know) and has apparently fallen in love with a crack addict. I am stunned as to what to do.
I have told her to get her shit together and that she is clouding her judgement over this guy because she's not happy in her relationship right now. But what more can I do?
I am worried about the long and short term consequences on my niece who is the sweetest most wonderful person and I would do anything to protect her. But what can I do? | My sister has got back into drugs, has been sleeping around and seems to be having a crisis in general. I need suggestions and advice. |
t3_245hc4 | tifu | TIFU by walking in on a woman in a porta-potty | So today there was the first annual 5k at the college I graduated from. It's my old college, so I'm going to support it, and I've been getting in shape so I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I get finished running and there is basically a huge party in one of the parking lots. Free beer, food, music, and we get to watch the spring football game later in the afternoon.
By 11am I've had probably 4 beers and needed to take a leak. So I go to the edge of the parking lot with the row of porta potties and look for one that I open. Most of the ones are taken but I see one that's looks like the lock just kind of went halfway down. I knock, and me being drunk combined with the live music, I don't hear anything. I open the door, but it got kind of stuck on the way. So by the time it's open I know it was supposed to be locked. This woman has her pants by her feet, she stands up, covers her nether regions, and yells in an embarrassed and angry voice that it is occupied.
I have never seen the look of shame and pure rage on someone's face like this before. As soon as I do this, someone else comes out of a different porta potty and I go in there. I hide in there for about 10 minutes and hope that I don't see that woman again. | Walked in on a woman in a porta potty and couldn't tell if the woman wanted to cry or kill me |
t3_3tq4kg | tifu | TIFU by masterbating in the shower | As with most, this was not today but last weekend. My SO and I enjoy experimenting in the bedroom, and have acquired a few toys along the way. Among other things in our box o' fun are some nipple clamps. Now on to the fuck up.
For the nine days previous, I had been home alone as my SO was off being a rock star on tour with his band. I had a lot of time to myself and was getting a little antsy. For a treat, I figured I would have a little fun in the shower. I'd been wanting to try the nipple clamps whilst masterbating for a while, so I figured I'd finally have a go. It was glorious, and had a relaxing shower after. This is where I fucked up, but didn't realise.
Fast forward to when my SO comes home from tour, with his band and the other one they were touring with in tow as they were all staying at ours. It was the last night of the tour and so of course much partying. One by one they all escaped to have their first long, hot shower in a week. We are all eating, drinking, and being merry and I think nothing of it.
The next day we nurse our hangovers and say all of the goodbyes. After my SO comes out, having finally taken his shower, he in an odd voice calls my name. I answer, and he asked if there was a reason the nipple clamps were in the shower. The shower that EVERYONE had used. The shower in which everyone had seen my nipple clamps.
At least I'll not see most of them again. | had a kinky self pleasuring session in the shower and left the evidence for my house guests to discover. |
t3_4ryf7o | relationships | I [16 M] want to ask a girl [16 F] out over text, but I get so nervous around her in person | So I'm not experienced at all in dating or really pursuing the opposite sex. I guess I never felt the need to until I met this girl. I met her first semester in class. She had an assigned seat in front of me so I got to see her a lot. She was the most beautiful girl I've I ever seen. One day I decided to talk to her and I immediately wanted to get to know her more. We talked every now and then and I'd get papers for her and stuff like that.
I never really got any farther than that first semester. Fast forward to second semester, I was really confident i'd have a class with her but that never happened. I only really saw her in the halls. A couple times we'd be walking the same way and I thought I'd talk to her. First time was alright but the second time I totally froze up and my mind went blank. It was really awkward and I'm scared that will happen again.
Anyways I got her number via instagram and we've had some nice conversations. Recently over the summer me and some mutual friends of mine and hers were at the movies conveniently at the same time. I wanted to talk to her but I still felt this weird awkward tension for me at least. The movie sparked some more conversation between us over text later and I finally decided I wanted to ask her out.
But the thing is I never see her and I feel if I ask her over text and she says yes, It would still be awkward in person. Anybody got any ideas how I can go about this? | I met an incredibly cute girl in class talked but then got distanced because of new semester. I talked to her again in the halls and froze up. I have her number and want to set up a date over text but afraid that I'll freeze up again and make it even more awkward. |
t3_1wnl69 | relationships | Infidelity/Dating: Me [21 M] with my "girlfriend" [25 F] 2 weeks, fell head over heels for a girl at work, one of her exes just contacted me and I don't know how to proceed. | I've been in one relationship prior to this one that was a long-distance relationship that went no further than hugs (I'm a virgin essentially, relevant later). I was ecstatic when I started really talking to one of my coworkers and found that not only did I feel unusually trusting of her, but she showed an inordinate amount of interest in me. Days before I told one of my friend this year I'd likely kill myself. That seems more likely now than ever before.
We spent hours talking, hanging out; met her mom and all her family last night and they adored me (my girlfriend's sister-in-law works with us and lives with my girlfriend's mom). Even her best friend and husband took quiet a liking to me. So when one of her prior "victims" Facebook messaged me pics of a conversation she was having with another about me I was flabbergasted (I can post the censored pics if it might help).
So to get to the point, we are working tonight together for two consecutive 12 hour shifts. I currently have some stuff at her place now (nothing nicer than a Band of Brothers box set. Suggestions for how to proceed? I've never had this sort of occurrence and it's hard holding it together, let alone make the right move. | Had a Hollywood-styled fast track relationship with a coworker, and was recently contacted by an ex detailing how it's all a sham and I'm being played. Not sure how to proceed as we work together this weekend and I have belongings at her place. |
t3_3ov3a4 | tifu | TIFU by making a mature joke in class | This happened earlier this morning. I was sitting next to my girlfriend on the ground by the wall while one of my classmates was presenting the history of radioactivity. Our professor was not around so we get to sit anywhere we want.
My classmate was then talking about how Marie and Pierre Curie pounded uranium salts using their *bare hands* in which she said that their unsafe work ethic caused them to develop cancer.
Being a witty person, I loudly exclaimed, "So remember, kids: always use protection." After that, most of the people present in the room gave me and my girlfriend some suggestive looks while slyly smiling at us.
Now, maybe some of them think that we have been sleeping together. In reality, I haven't got some yet. :/ | Made a condom joke which made people think that me and my gf are having sex regularly. |
t3_4dueil | relationships | Me [19 F] with my classmate [21-22 M] of a semester, I can't tell if he's interested in more than friendship. | Hey everyone first time posting!
I met this guy Ian first day of class this semester. Right off the bat we started talking and chose each other for partners. When we were randomly assigned into groups we were in the same one.
Not only is he in that class but also in another and so I see him everyday of the week. He constantly stares at me, he will ask me if there's homework for our other class, even though we never do, and he'll always ask about my life. When we are in our group he only talks to me.
However, I've constantly tried to drop hints that we should go somewhere outside school. I actually asked him for lunch once but he had to study for a test. Well the year is almost over and he's still really attentive and stares but hasn't made any moves. What should I do? Maybe I'm overthinking things in my head.
I guess I should mention, I really like this guy, he's funny and super smart, and so passionate about what he's studying. | Not sure what to think of a guy that kinda seems interested but hasn't asked me out. |
t3_14iu7j | relationships | Promoting harmony with a new roommate [24,m] | So I just moved in with some folks and we've been living together for about a week. I've known all except one of them for a long time and we're all good friends. The other person is pretty great and we all share a ton of common interests. However, it's obviously stressful moving in with people who all know each other really well. Very recently, they've been very defensive and (when drinking) very insulting to everyone. I don't take it personally but I'm wondering:
Is this an awkward phase and we'll probably end up living harmoniously if we keep putting out positive energy?
Is it a sign that we're not trying hard enough to be inclusive?
I'm sorry, that's really vague. I wanted to not even bring it up with my other roommates so it just wouldn't be a thing, but one of them brought it up to me that they were a bit offended and felt in a weird position; that normally they'd take the barbs and throw them back but then the new roomie (the one ripping in the first place) gets offended when they do.
Now I'm afraid there's some perceptible tension and I'd like to nip it in the bud and have it not be the case. I'm of the mind that if I just keep being inclusive and stuff this will become history. However, I don't want to have a conversation about it because it's so early in the relationship and it could end up having a larger impact than I mean it to.
What would you do? | Living together a week with a new roommate; things are 85% okay; would having a conversation about what I wrote about be too soon? |
t3_3ejn10 | tifu | TIFU by farting during class | So like during high school choir class years ago, I was having sectionals, which for those of you who don't know, means that each section of the choir goes into different rooms to practice individually. Anyways, my sectionmates were all talking, and I was reading a book, but I let out a fart. It was one of those silent but deadly ones. I didn't think it was going to be too bad honestly, until the section leader just stops and says, "Did somebody fart?" I, of course in my utter embarrassment, pretend like I am oblivious to the world and reading my book, when honestly, I'm just in a state of inner panic. "Ewww, did you do it (section leader's name)?" "Yeah, whoever smelt it, dealt it!" The girls start flipping out over the fart, and are forced to leave the room, which pissed off the teacher, and made me self concious about farting until I graduated. | I farted, everyone flipped out, constant shame about bodily functions until graduation. |
t3_25yqm3 | relationships | Me [26M] with my GF [23F] - How to avoid the "Grass is Always Greener" mentality | Hello everyone,
I am in a wonderful relationship. My GF and I are pretty much a perfect match for each other. We complement each other extremely well, she treats me like a king, I treat her like my queen, we could be digging holes in the desert with spoons and as long as we're together we'll be happy. That's not actually what I need help with.
I am 26. I had my first girlfriend at age 24. I hadn't dated before then. I actually used Seddit to gain confidence and start actually speaking to women. Since then I've had a bunch of "nothing serious" dates, then a 3 month relationship, then an 8 month relationship, and now 7 months with my current girl. I fully intend on marrying her in a few years. But Seddit also taught me to not focus on one person and be looking for the next best person all the time. And that's causing me some problems.
Here's the thing. I didn't date in high school or college. So while I KNOW that my gf is the one for me, my brain keeps telling me that I should want more experience with more people and that I need to be dating. That's what my brain keeps telling me when I go out with friends and see a plethora of extremely attractive women. But I know I'm happy right now – and that the chances of those girls being able to provide the kind of relationship I have with my current GF is almost 0%. I need help figuring out how to avoid getting distracted – I want to focus my energy on the relationship I'm in and not be tempted to pull away just because I see someone who is "hotter" or more outgoing or whatever...but would not complete me the way my girlfriend does. Anyone with suggestions on how to focus on the relationship you have…please chime in! | In a great relationship, WANT to stay with her, but lack of dating experience makes me curious about other people. Want to understand how to handle and clear those feelings so I can make the most of the relationship i'm in. |
t3_gmtza | AskReddit | What's your first internet memory? | The first time I attempted to get online was when we received an Oceanfree (Irish ISP) disc in the Sunday newspaper. We had a windows 3.1 pc that was primarily used for Paint and Encarta, but this was going to give me the internet! I had no idea what to do, I installed it but could never get to the interner. I later realised I had to connect the computer to a phone line and we didn't have a modem. Silly 8 year old me.
My first REAL internet memory is discovering emulators and roms so I could play SNES games again AND Mega Drive games for the first time (Other than the 4 my uncle had). That was a good day.
And my first porn memory is being sick New Years 2001 and not going to my Uncles party and staying at home and downloading Japanese hentai video games. That was a VERY good day. | ISP disc, no modem; emulators; porn. |
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