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t3_34vj7u | legaladvice | Father's Rights against mother Las Vegas, NV | I am looking for info on what my rights are and the steps I need to take to get my son into my custody.
We have a son together that's 3 years old. The mother has a history of drug use. There was already a CPS case opened under just her name when my son was born due to drugs being in her system and therefore my sons as well. We are married but no longer living together. My son lives with me due to her basically couch surfing with whoever will take her in. I have just found that she is using again and have denied her from taking him. She has threatened to bring cops to remove him from my home.
I would like to know what I can do first to prevent her from taking my son and then to fully get custody of my son. I know law enforcement officers and everyone in general usually sides with the mother so I'm stressing about this happening now before I get to throw out her drug issues and other issues that I feel woukd strongly favor him staying with me. | junkie separated wife threatening to take son from home. Need info on my rights and what to do to keep him here |
t3_2dvnqk | tifu | TIFU To kill a cocking bird | I was around 12 years old maybe. Saw a cat mauling a pigeon. It had a huge gaping hole on its back and it was very much alive. The situation demanded a quick action for the sake of animal love. I felt it was my duty to give this poor bird coup de grâce. The cat saw me approaching and went back few feet still fixated on the bird with a glaring stare. Didn't want to deprive this small killer from its prey.
How should I end this bird? There were few sticks laying around, so dooh, naturally I wacked it with the stick. My child whacks lacked the killing power and precision so I was super ineffective. The pigeon was gargling and limping on its remaining good foot and doing pigeon death noises which only stressed me.
Eventually it limped into an open basement window and fell down and the cat saw it and jumped after it. I only imagine the horror of dying in pitch blackness with a predator eating you alive. | My mercy killing ended up even worse for the killee. |
t3_ualm4 | dating_advice | Flirting with a girl who has a bf, what should I do? PLEASE help. | So basically, there's this girl (17 years old) I've known for about 2 years, but we go months without actually conversing sometimes (when I had a gf, and when I found out she had a bf). Anyways recently, we've started talking again even though she currently has a bf. I just started flirting at first, and I could tell she was flirting back. She'd laugh at all my jokes, send ;)s and <3s a lot, and basically told me how much she loved talking to me. Knowing her, I am absolutely positive that she genuinely meant that.
Then, conversation got to the point where she is complaining about how her bf doesn't treat her right and they don't see each other enough and how he flirts around a lot. I tell her that from what she tells me, I think she should just break up with him because he's not treating her right. She said all her friends say the same thing and that she tried initiating breaking up but just couldn't do it. I asked her why and she explained that she didn't want to do anything she'd regret later on and that there are a lot of memories involved which she doesn't want to just "throw away". In those conversations, she told me he said "yea...we'll work on it during the summer" or something along those lines, which I honestly think he is just saying to keep her. I also think she still likes him, though it's most likely just because she's afraid of change and wants to "keep things normal".
For the past few days, we've been skyping till like 3 in the morning and well, I noticed she adjusts her hair a lot while skyping and she also smiles a lot at the screen when we talk. Yesterday, I asked her out to watch a movie this weekend and she immediately said "yess! im free both saturday and sunday :)".
So here's the million dollar question: what should I do?
...oh and from everything in our conversations, I think she likes me (at least a little bit). But I thought if she did, she wouldn't talk about her relationship right now. | I'm flirting with girl, 80% sure she likes me back, but she has a bf and she complains about him to me. Asked her out (to "hang out") and she said yes, what should I do? |
t3_4skrem | relationships | I (22M) want to break up with my partner (21F) of 7 years. Not sure if it is the right thing to do. | We recently bought a house and now live together, but I have always been ambitious and wanted to pursue different things. Like start a business. I have very much been into fitness for a while now, and want to become a PT. For me to achieve my goal and be a credible PT. I definitely want to work more on my physique so people take me seriously. I have been through a personal transformation and believe I have the skillset and knowledge to thrive in the industry.
I never wanted to buy a house, but after she was very unhappy stuck at her parents box room, where their family bond isn't too great. I gave in to make her happy. I feel like i've made a massive mistake doing this, but I suppose all of this has happened for a reason. I could really do without the mortgage, so I can focus on achieving my goals, I know I need to be saving up capital, to pay for my course and I need to dedicate myself to the gym to get where I need to be. Right now I do not earn enough to save much money whilst paying half the costs of running a house.
I have been with this woman, who I do love and care for. She is beautiful, we have a great connection and still after 7 years find her very attractive, we just click. But my problem is, deep down, I want to meet other women. I have only ever been with her, and not had a chance to do the whole dating scene, which I really want to dive into.
I am stuck on both sides and really don't know what to do. There have been many times where I have felt like this and broken off our relationship because of my dilemmas. It has got the point where I am sick of going through this time and time again, now is the time to solve this. I have never spoken about how I really feel with anyone. | Not sure whether to break up with partner of 7 years, we still have a good relationship but I am ambitious and want to pursue my dreams and also feel like I need to experience the dating scene before I want to properly settle down. |
t3_3aqa85 | personalfinance | (UK) Changing vehicle on the same insurance premium making it cost effective to constantly buy a cheap motorbike and transfer the cover - is this a loophole or what? | I bought a motorbike. A really crappy cheap one for £850. I got comprehensive cover including business usage, that came to a bit under £900 for the year, paid upfront.
That bike died. I sold her, and bought a bigger, better one, for £2500. I transferred the insurance to the new one for a small processing fee. I crashed that bike and claimed on my insurance. I bought a new, even nicer, even more expensive bike.
When I tried to have it insured, insurance premiums were up somewhere near £2500 for the same cover. But, because I'd paid the year in advance on the first bike, I called to check, lo and behold, my insurance covered the new bike under the old policy with again, only a small processing fee.
This confuses me, because for that saving, I could easily afford to buy a crappy motorbike and insure it at a tiny amount, then transfer the cover to my nice bike. I'm not suggesting I'll do that because I assume it's fraud, but seriously, what gives?
I must be missing something. Am I missing something? | Buy crap vehicle. Insure it. Buy better vehicle. Transfer insurance without paying extra premium. Profit. |
t3_3f0bnu | relationships | Girlfriend [19/F] and I [19/M] post fight isssues. | I'll try to keep this as short and simple as possible.
Recently my girlfriend of 6 months got a new job which takes up the majority of her time which leaves us with very little time together, yesterday was our first day together in about a week and everything was good, a few hours into the day she said she was going to leave early to hangout with a few friends, I was acting selfish and childish and got upset since I already see her so little.
I regrettably yelled a bit and we didn't talk much at all until her friend came and got her, a few mintues before her friend showed up I apologized and we made up a bit but things were still kinda rocky.
The next day she had work so we didn't talk at all and when she got off I messaged her, and she was at a friend's house. I could tell something was wrong and I asked, she said that she wasn't happy after yesterday. I apologized and told her how much of an idiot I know I was etc. The more we messaged the more serious it seemed to become, I asked if I could see her tomorrow before work so we could talk and she told me she didn't want to see me right now. She asked for a bit of space so I stopped messaging her.
I messaged her a few more times just apologizing and telling her I was worried which I probably shouldn't have done.
I love her and don't want to lose her, and I know the consensus is on this sub is when someone ask for space things are done, which I don't agree with but maybe I'm just fooling myself. | Girlfriend of six months and I got into a fight, was worse than I realized now she doesn't want to see me right now. |
t3_2l84ie | relationships | [16 M], [18 F] of about three months now. Bestfriend is worried I'm going to rape or kill her. | So, getting the age thing out of the way first. Age of consent in my region is 16, and relationship is romantic but non-sexual.
Her best friend began sending long, erratic texts to her saying he's worried about her, asking if there's trouble at school, asking if people are giving her trouble, harassing her.
He finally called her, he was breathing heavily, very worried, hysterical. When he calmed down enough, he told her that he was afraid somebody was going to rape or kill her.
She's just transferred to community college,so yeah, there's lots of creeps and weirdos, but nobody there has been a red flag. And anyways, I'm there with her.
But he mentioned me specifically. He was afraid I was going to rape or kill her.
Now, that does make me pretty fucking upset, to be honest. Who wouldn't be upset?
She chalked it up to sudden paranoia and calmed him down, but I'm not ok with this. | Girlfriend's male best friend called her, told her that he was afraid I was going to hurt, possibly rape or kill her. |
t3_2xpdw5 | tifu | TIFU by trying to convince my dog to pee | Not today, but quite a few years ago.
Back story: I lived in Upstate New York on a 50 acre piece of land. This meant that our two dogs were always outside roaming where they wanted during he day. At night, we would let them in the house and when we went to bed we would put them in our fully carpeted/furnished basement. Both of the dogs were rottweilers, the male being ~163lbs.
Before we would all go to bed, someone always had to go down and let the dogs out to go the bathroom so they wouldn't have an accident in the basement. We had those metal cellar doors you see in every tornado movie, and that's typically where we would let them out to go to the bathroom. One night in late fall I was heading up from the basement and decided to let the dogs out to use the bathroom. The female went out and did her thing and came back and the male was moseying around taking forever. The concrete steps going up to the cellar doors were cold and I didn't have shoes on so I stepped all the way out to the grass. After about 5 minutes my dog came back and wanted to go inside but he hadn't gone to the bathroom yet, so in my quick thinking I thought "Hmm, maybe if I take a leak, it will convince him to go too". This is where the fuck up started. As I'm draining the main vein, I notice a warm sensation on my leg. "No fucking way" I thought as I looked down. Sure enough, here's my giant rottweiler lifting his leg and pissing all over mine. I quickly tried to move to get out of the way and ended up tripping and falling forward into my own pissy grass. I was "slightly" and put him in the basement after a bit of shaming (he didn't give a fuck because he was bigger than me and fully capable of tearing me to shreds if he wanted too). | tried to get my dog to pee by taking a piss myself, he made me his "bitch". |
t3_4verta | relationships | Me [24F] with my BF [26M] of a month, difficulty litteraly sleeping in a bed with him | I have been with my BF for a month now, he is great, I want to see him all the time :)
The problem isn't really him. We spend our first night together and I had trouble falling asleep and just sleeping well, I am very tired today. I had the same problem with my ex (we were together 1 year) and he never noticed anything, but I guess my new BF looks at how I feel a lot more than my ex, because after spending the night he told me ''You didn't sleep well yesterday, right?''
And it's true, I didn't sleep well at all. I try to fall asleep but I just can't :/ Do you guys have any trick about how I could change that and get used to sleeping in a bed with someone else? I don't want to be tired every time I spend the night with my BF...! | How can I get used to sleep in the same bed as my BF? |
t3_1iupaa | tifu | TIFU by ignoring my grandma's advice. | So last night my grandma says "sweetie can you take the trash out for me?" Ok. No big deal. I take the bag and put it in a can. It's nothing.
"Oh, and don't drag the bag! There is glass that could break!"
Now I make my first mistake. I step outside and oh shit my shoes are wet. Might as well take them off. Wouldn't want to be uncomfortable for two fucking minutes.
Then I make mistake number two. I say "oh fuck this is heavy. I'm a man. If I drag it I'm sure I can pick it up and clear my feet!" So I drag it through the garage. Then, I go to pick it up and I drop it. I attempt to slide my foot out of the way but nope I hacked a massive cut in it. Now I have stitches. I nicked my tendon with the glass and I don't know what that will mean as far as the future of my foot, but it probably won't be good. Also I can't walk because whenever I try blood and puss ooze out of the wound. So thanks to me being a complete retard, I'm off my feet for a week. | I ignored my grandma's advice about glass at the bottom of a trash bag and I hacked my foot open. |
t3_edfsw | AskReddit | I'm willing to pay for the skills of an artist | **What I need**
I need to find someone who can draw the skeleton of a triceratops in the style of a terminator's endoskeleton. I need it to kind of look like blueprints, and would like it to be detailed in some manner that it shoots lasers from it's eyes. I'd only need it to be about 11"x14".
**Why a Triceratops?**
When my boyfriend and I first started getting to know each other back in March we were trying to find out as much about each other as possible by coming up with as many creative questions as we could. One of the many questions he asked me was what my favorite dinosaur was - and as it turns out, the triceratops is a favorite we have in common.
I had planned for this to be his birthday gift, but that fell through so I'm hoping it can be a christmas gift.
**Why a terminator-style endoskeleton**
...Why the hell not?
I don't know how much this thing would normally go for, but I'm willing to pay if the price is reasonable. | I'm willing to pay for a 11"x14", blueprint kind of picture of a terminator-style endoskeleton of a triceratops. |
t3_fmk1p | AskReddit | Help me figure out what I should do with my life? Please? | So, essentially the deal is that I'm majoring in accounting on track to graduate May 2012. After undergrad the plan was always to go to law school then dive into corporate tax law, but now I'm not sure if it's worth the time/debt investment.
Also, not sure if that's even what I want to spend my life doing. I'll take career advice, academic program advice, or change of track advice.
Also, if anyone knows of a different career track that would magically be perfect for me I would *love* to hear from you.
So here's a breakdown of me and my attributes and some of my history:
* 3.7 GPA in a competitive business program at a pretty good university
* Majoring in Accounting currently
* I'm a 22 year old female
* I've been a server (of the restaurant variety) for the last 6 years with lots of training and a little bit of management experience
* I am an excellent sales person, I have won countless sales competitions and I kind of enjoy selling (stuff I believe in anyway)
* I'm an active participant in extracurricular's
* I won state in Academic Decathlon in speech and interview (I interview like a boss)
* I love working with people
* I suck at CIS (very basic IT knowledge)
* My dream job is teaching but, I've been poor my whole life and I don't want to be poor anymore
* The big 4 recruiters (accounting) have been telling me to get a masters in accounting
* I love philanthropy and helping people
* I'm extremely motivated to get what I want when I know what it is I want.
I just need to know what I should be working towards. | I'm not sure what industry/major is right for me. Also whether I should get my masters in business or accounting or law school. |
t3_vwdyv | AskReddit | How was your day today Reddit? Lets vent... | So everything has been going amazing with my SO and I for the month we have been together until he brings up his girl best friend who is "exactly like me its scary" needless to say she comes up alot and even on our dates since shes in a LDR. He talks about how he liked her before and everything and when I bring it up that im not a replacement for what he cant have he gets defensive. Its annoying as fuck. Today he texted me that he was going for a swim for an hour and then would text me about plans. What happens? He texts me six hours later and tells me he is busy with her now. I'm just annoyed...so I am on reddit alone tonight yay! | on reddit because I have an amazingly-crappy SO who has plans with another girl. |
t3_52qxwq | relationships | Me [20 F] with my BF [20 M] 2 months, I broke things off, but I'm very concerned about him and the aftermath | We only dated for 2 months; but we were exclusive and serious. A few days ago he started to ignore me for 2 days, after he mentioned discussing some baggage from a previous relationship. Then, he finally says he was going to call me; instead I receive this long text about how he has strong feelings for his ex (despite the fact that she "f*cked him up"). Additionally, he did mention that he want to continue things with me. I told him that I don't want to see him again, since he is talking to her and accidentally sent me an "I love you too" text intended for his ex.
Now, I still care about him very much. But, I definitively don't want to pursue a romantic relationship anymore. I understand that it would not be a healthy relationship, since I wouldn't be able to trust him.
I'm mostly worried about him, because he is still talking to his ex (which seems to be toxic), has very low self-esteem, and has trouble dealing with his emotions. For instance, he would name call himself (sometimes in a joking manner); but it was still sad. One time he got into an argument with his parents about him not doing much for an internship, so he went to a friend's house and drank.
I was thinking about meeting him in person to discuss this break up better rather than through text. Furthermore, I still want to be a friend, since we have mutual friends, will run into each other frequently, and help him heal.
Lastly, this is my first serious relationship and rather brief. I'm wondering if this too naive of me to do. | Should I suggest having an in person conversation with him to discuss the break up better and share my thoughts and worries, like a friend would have. |
t3_14nff8 | relationships | OK, so what do I do about my ex-girlfriend[19] that I[19] still love? She gets back on Wednesday. | My ex-girlfriend is coming back from South America on Wednesday, and I don't exactly know what to do. (Let me explain) 6 months ago she went to South America with a program with her college... I'd been dating her for a little over 2 years at this point, and I thought it would be best to break up with her. I had relatively good reasons, being that I didn't really want to tie her down as she goes on this huge awesome adventure. I'll admit I also had selfish reasons. So she goes to SA and I instantly realize that I'm an idiot. We've talked on Facebook, but every single time I feel like a creeper whenever I initiate the conversation. I've never told her that I still love her though, being that I felt that that would be an incredibly douchey move considering how I broke up with her and (at first) she didn't really want to. So she gets back Wednesday, and I don't know anything at all and I'm kind of panicking. My plan was to throw a huge party with all our friends just so it wouldn't be weird or anything, but no one's really going to be back from college... I'm at a loss, so I'm wondering what the logical approach would be. | I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years because she was going to South America for 6 months. I realized I still loved her, and I'm 80% sure she feels the same way. She gets back Wednesday. How do i do this tastefully? |
t3_2rdx5k | relationships | Is it normal for heartbreak to cause physical symptoms? (M19) | I broke up with my girlfriend (17) three weeks ago. We did it on friendly terms so at the time I was able to resume life without too much hassle. But now three weeks on, I'm really, really starting to miss her. Like I have this feeling of "pressure" around my heart with occasional slight pain, have a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I also feel like I have reduced energy. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place but can I get some accounts of other people and how they felt after a break up? | did you get physical symptoms after a break up, and what were they? |
t3_oinba | AskReddit | What's the best prank you've ever done? | When I was 14, I would order pizzas to my school. I didn't use my phone though. Our principal would always go to the washroom at 11:30am and his cell phone on his desk. He would also leave his office window open all day, making it really easy to reach his phone from outside. My friends and I noticed this pattern, so one day I took his phone from through the window and ordered a pizza with it. I also used his name. My friends and ended up doing this once a week for about 2 months before getting caught. We were suspended for a month, but it was funny as hell. | Used principals phone and name to order pizza to the school several times. |
t3_358xrq | relationships | Me [25F] with my husband of 1.5 years (dated 5 years prior) [26M] are having a huge fight. It looks like because of money/housing disagreements he shall be moving back in his parents, while I will be searching for roommates. Is there any other option? I'm so bloody done. | So... my husband won't budge, and the place I looked at today for a new apartment isn't good enough for him. He said we shall be moving back with his parents for however long it takes to find a cheap place in the Bay Area.
I can't live with his parents as it isolates me. I just found out I got a new job, and I'd have to quit it. The best job I could find near his parents is at a grocery store which is a 40 minute walk away making a third less than I would at current job. Any hope of me working is gone. I'd become 100% dependent on him and his parents, and I won't allow that.
So, I think the best move is for me to get roommates. I could pay a small amount to live there and he can live with family. Once my husband feels comfortable paying rent again, we can move in together again.
I'm trying really hard not to cry right now, and I can't even talk to him. Why? He refuses to do anything but spend 40 minutes walking home rather than take a 7$ cab.
I think I'll start packing my things tonight, and try to find a sublet that starts June first. He can move back with his parents on June 1st as well.
Do you guys see any other option? Thanks. | My current place is a slum, and the rent in my city is too high. My husband refuses to pay the cost though we can afford it. His solution is moving back in with his parents which makes me lose my job. I think at this point I should get roommates and live without my husband. Is there any other way? |
t3_269z3x | relationship_advice | I [21/f] don't know if I should tell him [22] I love him before I leave | This has been on my mind for several weeks, so I finally decided to lay it down on Reddit.
Six months ago, I began hanging out with a guy. Initially, I just wanted a rebound, but it was clear from the get-go that we both had feelings for each other. At the time, I did not want a relationship. Things changed a bit later on. We never officially became a couple, but for intents and purposes, I am his girlfriend. We go on dates, we hold hands, we make-out (but no sex, my choice), we cuddle... I went on a date with someone else, but he's only been interested in hanging out with me.
About a month ago, I got drunk and asked him if he was in love with me. He told me he was not sure. He does things to make me think he is, but I'm not going to make assumptions about someone else's feelings. "Not sure" is not a "no" and I'm fine with it.
However, I think I'm in love with him, and I'm wondering if I should tell him. I've been away for the past two weeks, and will return for only four days so I can move halfway across the country.
Additionally, I've tried to casually bring up the future after I leave, to figure out if we'll treat it like a break-up or like long distance friends. He'll respond to my nonchalant comments such as "Looks like the end is near for us, huh?" with answers like "We don't know where the future will bring us" or promising to come and visit me.
So, I'm not sure if I should tell him how I feel to get it off my chest, or keep it to my self to risk seeming foolish or making him potentially uncomfortable... Any advice on the messy situation would be great.
Thank you! | I think I'm in love with a casual relationship, but I'm not sure if I should tell him. |
t3_1wyw74 | personalfinance | Paying off student loans while in school... how are the payments applied? | I'm currently still an undergrad, but I participate in a engineering co-op program, so I have a half decent income for a college student.
My current plan has been to take out loans to cover my tuition, and use my co-op income to pay off my old loans (I was a student for two years before co-oping). My employer offers a 401k plan for co-ops, which I currently have $2500 in so far. So, I'm making the best of my financial situation right now, correct? I'm doing well in my major, and will likely be hired by my employer, so I'm not worried about finding a decent job after I graduate in a year.
Anyway, here is my dilemma right now:
I now need an extra $1500 in tuition each semester because one of the grants I received has run out. That $1500 is on top of the maximum amount stafford loans I can receive. So, my options are to pay the $1500 in cash, or take out a student loan through Discover.
However, if I pay the $1500 in cash, I will obviously not be able to use that to pay off my old federal loans. I'm being hesitant about refraining from paying off the 'old' federal loans, because paying off the interest on my federal loans can be deducted from my income taxes (currently have $1800 in interest). Also, it seems as though paying off my federal loan interest while I'm a student saves a shit ton of money? Every time I make a payment, the payment is deducted from the principle loan at the time the loan was distributed to me, and the interest is recalculated. | I have 2 semesters of school left. Should I pay off $3000 in federal student loans and and take out a private loan to cover the rest of my tuition, or avoid a $3000 private loan at all costs? Also, how do student loans work anyway? |
t3_15kelj | AskReddit | Reddit, how do I convince my girlfriend's mom to see a doctor? | My girlfriends mother hasn't been to a doctor in 5-10 years as far as I know. She is one of the most stubborn people I have ever met. She hurt her back the week before Thanksgiving putting up Christmas lights and is still having a lot of pain to this day. This isn't just minor pain. If she's on her feet for more than a couple of hours or doesn't have her heating pad on at some point during the day she has back spasms to the point of not being able to walk or even raise her feet to put them on a foot rest without crying from the pain. Despite all this pain and its duration she refuses to see a doctor of any kind. How do I convince her that she needs to get this checked out and be seeing a doctor regularly?
As a Pharmacy student I feel like I should be able to be a intermediary between her and the health care profession. I know that she used to see a doctor semi-regularly or at least would see one when she had problems but even when she would go she would decide what orders she wanted to follow and when she wanted to. Ever since she had her gallbladder removed a few years ago she has refused to go to a doctor. She's nearly 50 and thinks her yearly mammogram is enough to ensure she stays healthy. Reddit, please help me convince my girlfriends mom that she needs to see a doctor. | gf's mom hurt back month and a half ago, cries nightly from pain, won't see a doctor...ever |
t3_1vw29l | personalfinance | Question about late payment on credit card reported to credit bureau | I hope this is the right sub-reddit for this question, as I didn't see it addressed in your side bar... if not, please direct me to the correct place.
I have held a Target credit card for just under one year and until Dec. 2013, had made all payments on time. At the end of Nov. 2013, I received a bill for which payment was due on Dec. 12, 2013. I attempted to log on to my account a week or so later, but was unable to do so. I intended to contact Target, but unfortunately, I was scheduled to leave town the next day, and forgot about the payment. I attempted to use the card a few days later and it was declined. Later that same day, I received an email from Target stating that information associated with Target cards had been compromised. I assumed that was the reason my card was declined at the store, forgetting that I had failed to make the Dec. 12 payment. Yesterday, I received an email from Target stating that my account is now over 30 days due and they have reported me to the credit bureau as of Jan. 15. I promptly paid the card over the phone, but I am a little surprised and upset that they reported me to the credit bureau so quickly.
Is this common practice? Several years ago, I had an unpaid debt I was disputing with a company, and it was not reported to the credit bureaus until 90 days had passed. I am especially surprised, in light of the fact that credit card information was compromised and amounts due were in dispute by many customers, that Target was so eager to report to the bureau so quickly. While in my case, the transactions were my own, and I understand I was at fault for failing to find another method to pay the credit card when I was unable to access the account online, I'm wondering if there is anything I can do about the credit report. Suggestions and opinions please. | Target blocks online account access due to compromised card data. |
t3_dzc5u | AskReddit | It is TRICK or treat Reddit, so in the spirit of Halloween whats the most interesting trick you've ever been a part of? | Been a part of as in executed the trick or were a victim.
My friends and I came upon a house with all the lights off, but there was a big brown paper bag sitting on the porch with a note that said "Please Take One." Inside the bag was a bowl full of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but the big two packs, not the small ones.
Anyhow my friend goes "Take one? Fuck that lets grab em all!" and dove his hand into the bowl, turns out it was like 4 Reeses packs cleverly sitting on top of a bowl of shit. No joke. My friend learned a lesson about greed that night. Also since it was dark a few more of us tried to grab the Reeses before figuring out what was going on. | My friends and I got greedy and wound up grabbing shit. |
t3_3xelc7 | tifu | TIFU by thinking my exam was at 1pm | This happened to me last year but it still haunts me to this day. I had a Canadian history exam in high school and the schedules for all exams were posted around the school, including the schedules for the other grade 12 history classes. I had one friend who I talked to in Canadian history, and she told me the exam was at 1pm. Stupidly, I believed her. I even checked the schedule and I thought it said 1pm. It was actually at 9am. Little did I know, I was actually looking at the other history classes exam. The course codes look very similar (CHYU1 vs CHI4U).
So I prepare all night for the exam, it was an essay and we got the question beforehand so I prepared my answer. I wake up at 8am, lounge around the house, generally just enjoying my free time. I get a Snapchat from the friend in history class asking "When are you getting here?" The background of the snap was the hallway outside the classroom. I'm just thinking like bro its barely 9am why am I gonna go to school? So I tell her I'm getting there at 12 and she opens the snap but doesn't respond. Probably should have been warning flag number one but I disregarded it and assumed she must have had a morning exam and that's why she was at school early. Fast-forward to 11, she messages me on Facebook asking why I didnt go to the exam and that the teacher was "asking for me". I felt my heart drop to the pits of my fucking stomach. I was in shock I could barely process what she just said. So I spam her asking to explain and she told me the exam was at 9am and it was over. I couldn't believe it so I just gazed at my phone for a long time. I laughed then shortly after panicked. It was worth 15% of my mark and I didn't even go. Long story short, my mark was high enough to pass the class but I still failed the exam. I took summer school anyways. | Thought my exam was at 1pm, it was at 9am. I failed the exam, but passed the class. Took summer school anyway. |
t3_3vgke9 | tifu | TIFU by ordering car parts online. | So my car broke down, thermostat issues, not too long ago and I went to the local auto parts store to pick one up. No problem. I got it installed, started the car, then next thing I know water is spraying me once the car got to temp. Find out that the part I needed to replace was the plastic piece the thermostat plugs into. The dealership had the part I needed but they wanted too much for it. So we found one online for literally half the price and ordered same day delivery. It was supposed to show up today sometime.
The part was supposed to be delivered to my parents house some time before 9pm but everyone who lives there is working early. I stop by about an hour ago to see if it was dropped off and sure enough there was a UPS sticker on the door saying that the package was dropped off in the office. (they live in an apartment complex.) I get there before the driver even puts the package in and grab it from them and rush over to put the part in before I had to leave for work.
I finally get upstairs to their apartment to examine my merchandise only to realize it has my brother's name on it. I thought to myself, "well, my stepdad could have just used his account when ordering it." SO, I opened it. First thing I pull out is something labeled "fresh lube." I'm like *that's odd, I shouldn't need lube for this part...*
pulled out the rest of the contents only to discover that my brother had ordered a pocket p@&%y.....
Rush to put the contents back in the box as they originally came. Sealed the box up like it was never opened.. and left it on the counter... | Ordered car parts online. Intercepted package from parents house. Discovered my brother ordered a sex toy. Resealed it. Then ran away. |
t3_yt0z5 | AskReddit | Does anyone else *HATE* the word 'Terrorist'? | Here are some of the reasons I *hate* that word:
* Using that word, or any word of its sort, reduces complex issues to foregone conclusions.
* It presupposes the existence of pure good and pure evil (or pure right and pure wrong)
* It keeps 'breakfast table' discussions from challenging the powers that be.
* It is inflexible and reinforces the ["Pirates and Emporers"] effect
* Rarely ever used in a spot-on way. Religious zealots and political activists (even the ones you may not support) should not be covered by a single noun.
* Lets anyone who use it get away with "you support terrorists??" instead of making a real argument. | The word 'terrorist' is Orwellian in the worst kind of way. |
t3_se9p9 | relationship_advice | How do I stop wondering about financial disparities? | Me: 24, female, networth ~$70k, income ~$70k
SO: 26, male, networth ~**-**$10k, income ~$55k
We've been dating for nearly two years; both in it for the long term. Currently long distance, and will be for about another year. We see each other frequently, though. The debt is apparently pretty high interest; he didn't go to college, so it's not student loan debt.
His numbers are estimates, because I'm not entirely sure about his finances. About a year ago he said he was $10k in debt, and recently said he's been "paying it off," but he made it sound like he hasn't come too far.
It just keeps bothering me. He's been in the working world for over 7 years, making good enough money and saving money by living with friends, and despite that he's in debt. I started my IRA when I was 18; he doesn't have any retirement savings.
On the other hand, he hasn't had the financial support that I've had (about half of that networth was gifts from family; my parents bought my car; I was raised to be frugal and money conscience), and so it's unfair for me to expect him to be in a similar financial place as me, or even share my financial outlook/philosophy. But it bothers me when he spends $8 on a McDonald's breakfast while I'm happy with cold boiled potatoes and bbq sauce, or that my socializing often takes the form of going out to bars with friends and drinking a diet coke, while his is the frequent and expensive habit of weed.
Do any other redditors have experience with conflicting financial outlooks in a relationship? And am I overly bothered by what is, in a world of $100k+ student loan debt, a semi-trivial amount of debt? | I'm frequently bothered by my boyfriend's poor financial habits, and what it means for our future. I don't know what to do about it. |
t3_2qcuxh | relationships | I [20/f] am a codependent person and I need help getting over my relationship with a narcissist [23/m] | My ex and I broke up six months ago and I'm still having trouble getting over it. I don't mean that I want him back, or that I pine after him. It's just that occasionally it still hurts. He was the first guy that I ever loved and I lost my virginity to him.
We were together for a year and we broke up in a rather unconventional way. His parents didn't want him dating outside of his religion and so they told him to dump me. He did it in a very nasty way and a week later told me that he never loved me (although he cried when breaking up with me and pleaded with his parents to allow us to be together).
He was a narcissist, mainly because his parents treated him like a god in order to make up for childhood bullying. He honestly believed that everyone who walked the earth owed him something because he was better then everyone else. He was also manipulative and a pathological liar.
I grew up in a very abusive family and I have PTSD from my abuse. I am also a codependent person which may have been the result of this abuse. Because I find my self-worth in the approval of others, and especially my partner, this breakup and the things that were said have made me feel like shit. I truly believe that I will always be unlovable and I feel worthless because my ex thinks that I am. If he would only tell me that he did love me and that he doesn't hate me, I would feel lovable again. I know this is irrational, but this is the mind of a codependent person.
I have been afraid to tell my therapist how much my relationship failure has impacted me; especially because it has only been around 3 months where I haven't mentioned my ex at all.
I know that my relationship with "self" is vital so that I can learn to separate myself from future spouses and not essentially be their emotional slave.
I know that I shouldn't care what my ex thinks, and that his opinion should be no more important than that of a stranger. However all of the factors-my codependency, the breakup ordered by his parents, and things that he said-have nearly destroyed me. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_3a6ibq | relationships | He [22m] didn't pay for the first or second date with me [24f]. | First date: He was very kind to offer to pick me up. He was like whatever and we just went to a Mexico style food place called QDoba. He ordered his food first, and I should've known better than to assume that he was going to pay for me...Just as I started to order, he handed his card to the cashier (who stared at me and could probably felt my embarrassment). Then I ordered and paid for my own.
________________
Second date: We hit it off pretty well and through text and phone calls, he was saying he was so excited for the second date, and how it's going to be awesome and he's going to pick me up. I got super dressed up (heels, skirt!!) He picked me up and said he was feeling Taco Bell...I thought he was joking. He wasn't. He went inside Taco Bell and ate there. Again, he ordered and paid for his own. I ordered and paid for my own (it was like $8).
________________
Firstly, I support equality and all that. I am honestly just fine going dutch 3rd or 4th date, but our first date felt so awkward. I feel that this says a lot about a guy and how he was raised.
I have a feeling that age is a huge factor. I have never dated someone younger than me (24f), my exes are all 25-30m now.
________________
He said he really likes me and wants this work out, but I don't know what's going through his mind when he took me to Taco bell?? I don't feel like this is normal. I'm really not trying to have incredibly high standards or expectations.
________________ | Went on a date with a guy but he didn't pay for the first or second dates. |
t3_44thlg | personalfinance | Help with buying a new home, down-payment options | My wife and I are in the market for a bigger house. Ultimately, we'd like to buy the new house first and then sell our current house later. We're looking for an older house that might need some updating/improvements done. Basically, newer houses with the land we want don't really exist, so we'll have to look at a house that needs some improvement. To make life easy, we were planning on buying the new house, getting floors redone, paint, trim, etc before we move in, and then selling our house, etc. The market in our area is insane right now (houses like ours stay on the market for about a week and get multiple offers), so we are very confident selling our house will not be an issue.
We talked with our bank and they told us that bridge loans don't exist anymore and our only option would be to borrow the money from family for the downpayment or just coordinate the closing dates (which kinda ruins our plans of remodeling the new house before moving in). We're kinda busy and want a bit of time to move, remodel, etc before having to vacate our current house.
So, how do people typically do this? Here are the numbers:
Our current house is valued around $380k. We owe around $100k. We're looking to buy a house between $450k and $550k. We would move all of our equity from the current house to the new one once it's sold (we have enough cash reserves for remodeling and such, just not enough for a 20% downpayment). | how do people buy a new house before their current one sells without a bridge loan? |
t3_uiwpr | AskReddit | How would you clean semen of fabric? [NSFW] | Over the past year or so I've been enjoying myself somewhat and leaving the residue under the edge of the bed. With this going on I've now realised that it's not something I should've done since it's just plain out stupid. I'll provide a picture of how it looks like, it looks nasty so sensitive users should be adviced. So as seen in the picture it's just plain out nasty, slipery, somewhat in chunks and very hard to remove.
I've tried the following things to clean it
* Heavy duty cleaning (not diluted with water)
* 0.5 mg / ml, cutaneous solution, chlorhexidine diacetate
* Cooling it, warming it and then using the heavy duty cleaning
* Razor blade (using it carefully still destroys the fabric too much, hence some of the spots in the picture)
So reddit, how should I respond to this residue? | Chunks of semen residue on fabric. Can't clean it, need advice. |
t3_3mnu5i | relationships | Me [24f] with new friend [28M]. I really like him (platonically) and we get along amazingly, can someone give me an outside perspective about boundaries? | I made a new friend through my ex, let's call him Ray, who is super fun and cool. We have all the same interests and even have the same favourite book. I'm new(ish) to town and don't have many close friends here, my best girlfriend moved back to her hometown for school, my ex moved away, so I hang out a lot with my just my sis who is also my roommate.
Let me preface this by saying I am bad with boundaries. I'm a really comfortable person in both platonic and non-platonic relationships. Sometimes it gets me into trouble.
Since meeting this fellow I've been very drawn to him in a platonic friendsy way. I miss having a best friend around in town, someone to go to concerts with, shoot the shit, watch movies, cook food, and other boring day to day things. I used to do all this stuff with my best friend Dallas [23M] in university but he moved home as well. Ray actually reminds me of Dallas a lot.
The problem I'm having is that I'm worried I'm overstepping boundaries. I talk to Ray a lot. Like, we message all day. We make a lot of plans together and joke around a ton. I actually feel the urge to message him a bunch throughout the day. We've even talked about working together (him hiring me at his business for part time.)
Mutual friends have approached me and asked me what's going on because we're all over each others Facebook walls.
It makes me feel weird because my intention is not to be romantic, its to have that pleasant close friendship feeling again. Like I did with Dallas. Also, Ray has a girlfriend whom I like very much and don't want to piss off.
Am I being weird? Overstepping boundaries? Is this a realistic expectation for a friendship? Id love an outside opinion. | made new friend, I want to talk/hang out a LOT and don't know if this is weird/crosses normal friend boundaries or comes across as sinister |
t3_18gcdq | dating_advice | What is appropriate for Valentines day? | I've been on one date with a girl. It went really well with some nice smooches at the end. We've been texting and have a second date planned but unfortunately she was busy this week and we have no Valentines day plans.
I'm legitimately excited but know better than to be too forward. We live in a city and I know the dating mores here often include going on dates with multiple people if it is being kept casual and there has been no indication her being busy on Thursday isn't due to another guy. The romantic in me wants to do something like send flowers to her work but I'm trying hard to restrain myself.
What can I do that says, "thinking about you this Valentines day" without being way too over the top and scare her off. | Brain says let valentines day go since we've only been on one date, heart says do something romantic. |
t3_1e2afe | relationships | My boyfriend (28M) is too nice and it's making me feel guilty (22F) | Hi everyone
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 1.5 years. We don't live together and see each other about once or twice a week due to distance/school/work but we talk/text every day at least once.
The problem is that he's a very easy-going, laid back, sweet person. I can be a bitch to him and he just laughs and says "it's okay". Obviously, I'm not that often a bitch, but sometimes I just feel crappy you know, and then I take it out on him. I become a sarcastic, annoying girl. He never acts like that! He's always... stable. And he never gets angry. Which makes me feel like absolute crap because I seem to be the only one who's "acting up".
I don't really know what I want to ask... I just hate the fact that he (unintentionally) makes me feel like a bitch because he's so "good". When I compare myself to him, he's the bigger person. And I don't have this problem with my friends, because sometimes they get angry too, and it's not so one-sided. | is this something I should talk to him about? I don't really know if that would accomplish anything. It's not like he should become meaner, the problem is probably me. |
t3_29ljen | relationships | My Ex (26m) all of a sudden want to contact out daughters (2 and 4) via a phone call after almost a year and half of no contact. | Brief background. I left my ex last Janurary because he was abusive to me (physically, mentally, and emotionally) We had be married for 4 years when I left. At that time Our daughters were 9mo and 3.
It has been a rocky year and half, but I always gave him the chance to see the girls, supervised by me of course. He only chose to see them a handful of times, and even then he was high or drunk, or just wanted to focus on me and "getting me back".
I did have a protective order against him for me and the girls but opted for only a 6 month on so he could calm down a bit and I could get the divorce started. He has never paid child support (even though he is ordered to by the state), Never called to talk to them, and hasn't even tried to do supervised visits like he is court ordered to do.
In this past year and half, I became very close/best friends with S (31m). He has been around my girls and was the "male firgure" in their life, Well S and I had decided to moved passed the friendship stage and are in a relationship, and he has taken on my children as his own. They call him Daddy. To my youngest He is the only daddy she knows.
Now the problem. They are both young and they both call him daddy, since their "real Dad" isn't involved. My ex wants to call and talk to them because he "misses them". I have the OK from my attorney to let him talk to them under my supervision. How do I help my girls understand. I don't want to keep them away from their bio dad, especially if he gets his life together. I don't wanna be that women. But I know the girls have a very strong bond with S. I am so stuck, I don't want anyone to be hurt in this situation. | How to deal with kids' (2 and 4) bio dad wanting to call after a year and half of no contact when they are already calling my best friend/boyfriend "daddy"? |
t3_2e5y9s | relationships | Update : What do's and dont's should I, "The Chocolate Guy" [29/M] remember while meeting her [24/F] when she is having a tough time? 3 Months | Original Post :
We went couple of places for her project. Had few discussions around it.
All through I ensured that I let her express herself and I kept it light and easy for her and myself. She discussed few things as to what has been source of stress. I was a keen ear but a cautious mouth.
Had an overall good time.
Later in the evening she texted to check if we can make some plans for Saturday night. We are still thinking what to do.
---
Does it seem like moving in "friendzone" direction? Any advice on how to avoid that. | I was a keen ear but a cautious mouth. Any advice on how to avoid "friendzone". |
t3_il3m5 | AskReddit | Interest in a /new game? | So I had an idea for a sort of betting game that I think would be fun. The idea came from when I upvoted a post in /new and it made it's way to the front page eventually. I thought it was cool to see a post go from 2 or 3 upvotes to 1000 when I was one of the first.
The premise of the game would be this: each day you receive a certain number of betting chips (maybe 5 or 10?). You would be able to place each 'chip' on a post with fewer than say 15 upvotes. You would then get points based on how high the posts you bet on each day climbed.
I think it would be cool trying to identify good posts in their infancy, as well as give people some incentive to check out new posts. Would anyone be interested in something like that?
1,000 apologies if this already exists, has been suggested or is in some way illegal. | game would let you bet on which posts will climb high, points given accordingly |
t3_1mxpjs | relationships | Me[22F] with my ex [22M] month long relationship, broke up due emotional instability. | Met Joe, instantly hit it off, hung out all the time, stayed up all night talking, the whole deal. Started dating a couple weeks later. After about a week he became distant, was really upset and wouldn't talk to me about it. I was already having issues of my own, with depression, uni, and moving home because I couldn't deal with crazy flatmates. I ended things with him because I couldn't cope with it. We talked and I said I was sorry for being so rash and maybe we could work through it. Apparently, my breaking up with him sent him into a downward spiral and he couldn't cope with the pain and it was better if we remained friends.
I was hesitant about being friends because, I was really attracted to him and I liked him a lot and I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle it. He begged me to be friends with him, saying he was a much better friend than boyfriend and he really liked me and really wanted to be friends with me.
After a day of debating with myself I agreed to be friends with him, we got on great, he made me happy, I'm probably better off without a boyfriend and working on my problems. We chatted a bit but it has been three weeks since then and I still haven't seen him and he doesn't seem keen on hanging out at all.
Most of the times I try to talk to him he is busy or distant, he says he is really miserable but assures me he doesn't want to talk about it and he does want to be my friend.
I tried to invite him to do something and he gave me a "probably on Sunday" but didn't seem keen at all.
I'm not sure what to do from here, I really want to be friends with him, he assures me he wants to be friends, but then doesn't seem to want to see me or talk to me. | Ended relationship pretty soon into it because we both had emotional issues and neither of us could handle the relationship. He begs me to be friends with him but doesn't seem to want to talk to me or hang out with me, while assuring me he wants to be friends. |
t3_2eoqqq | relationship_advice | I'm [20's/m] falling in love...but there's a complication... do I tell her [20's/f]? | So I've known this girl for a couple years... we had a class together but didn't really connect during it... we continued talking (mostly online) since then due to each of us going on various travels. But this spring we started hanging out a lot and just clicked... then distance separated us again for a few months and we just were able to spend time together again and I can honestly say I haven't had a connection like this in years. I'm falling head over heels in love with her.
But here's the thing... she is going to be studying halfway around the world for the next year. We've talked about it and agreed if we were close to each other we'd both be interested in a relationship... but now isn't the time to tie each other down in a long distance relationship that would be hard to maintain with both of our lives and schedules.
We've said basically everything except "I love you" and I don't know if I should tell her before she leaves. We will obviously keep in touch and skype but I don't want to tell her online. I want to tell her face to face in person and I don't know if I can wait a year.
So I'm basically looking for any advice... How would you feel if someone said they loved you right before you left for a year? Have you been in a similar situation? Would you want the other person to tell you or wait until you have a chance to physically be together for a while? Would it be putting the other person in a weird position since they're leaving?
I don't know... she makes me all excited and nervous like no has done in a long long time. Maybe I'm just overthinking things... and maybe this is a completely silly post. | I'm falling in love... she's leaving for a year... do I tell her I love her? |
t3_4016dm | tifu | TIFU by confusing "Playboy" with "Gameboy" | This happened last semester. I was in an upper level college German class. We had a substitute one day so we spent the class trying to translate "Nur für dich" by Wise Guys. Basically the song is about this guy rejecting a bunch of stuff he likes for his girlfriend. He goes through a whole list of things all in German before coming to the line "Ich hab´ nur für dich meine Playboy-Sammlung angezündet" which translates to "I burnt my Playboy collection just for you."
SO, in my tired, early morning mind I was trying to translate everything in my mind. Somehow my mind convinced me that "play" would translate to "game" in German (lol wut) instead of just realizing it was an English word. So, having gone through all these things he rejected I, in my half awake state, decided to make a little humor and say that "Burning my Playboy collection would just cross the line, that's too much" (because Pokemon is the bees knees). There was some silence and everything got really uncomfortable. But, still being half asleep, I assumed my joke was just super lame (which it would have been regardless) and didn't think much of it. It was only as class was ending that someone approached me and asked why I would declare my love for Playboy to the whole class. FINALLY, the gears in my brain started working and I realized what I had done. I went into damage control mode but a lot of my classmates had already left. | I mistranslated Playboy into Gameboy and declared my deep love for Playboy to my entire class, permenantly making me out as an unabashed pervert. |
t3_gi52c | loseit | Tips for losing the last 20? | I'm a 20 year old 6'4 guy and have been losing weight for years now. I started at 260 and am now down to 198~ and am looking to get down to 180 or 175. I'm finding these last 20 pounds pretty hard, and I'm not sure what to do. I've been doing a simple calorie restriction diet (around 1200 calories, is this standard?) for a while, but I feel like I need to do something more hardcore.
I'm thinking of just cutting breads out completely, as well as dairy products (oh coffee how i'll miss you so). I'm also thinking of cutting out sugars, but one of my diet staples, chinese chicken salad, has a oil vinaigrette dressing with some brown sugar in it. :\
As for working out, I run maybe 3 times a week and walk 6000 steps a day just in my daily life.
Anyways, | 6'4, 200 lb guy looking to lose 20 pounds needs tips on what to cut out to make this happen as fast as possible. |
t3_52ck2b | relationships | I (29/f) and my friend (29/m) are going on a trip this weekend. My friend asked about us bathing together | My good friend and I are going on a trip this upcoming weekend. We picked a bed n breakfast place to stay in.
Today my friend and I were talking. I was talking about how the bath tub at that place is bigger than mine. He ended up asked about us bathing together.
I told him maybe. I originally was thinking no. I have never bathed with anyone. This friend and I have traveled together twice and we did had sex a few times and act as a couple whenever we travel.
But thats about it. I am not sure if it would be way too intimacy or not. Yet at the same time, it do sound really nice, especially since I know he will give me a nice massage and wash me. Have anyone ever bathed with their friend? How did it turned out? | A friend and I will be traveling together. The place have a very nice bath tub. My friend suggest that we can have bubble bath together. Am on the fence about whole thing. |
t3_3g9me1 | tifu | TIFU and almost killed my mom. | Background: On Tuesday I had my wisdom teeth removed, so I've been trying to stay on a soft, smooth food diet. Also, my mom is extremely lactose intolerant, any dairy will cause her immense nausea and pain.
Yesterday, I decided to make myself some re-fried beans and add a gracious helping of cheese to them, which I mixed into the beans incredibly well. I obviously couldn't finish all of them, so I covered the bowl and put it in the fridge. This morning, my mom discovered the re-fried beans (still packed with cheese) and heated them up and began to eat them with some eggs. Next thing she knows, she is tingling all over her body and can't breathe, so she just goes to her room to lay down. She felt extremely nauseous and began to develop a headache too. Fortunately, now, she is doing just fine. So folks, if anyone in your family has food allergies, LABEL the food. | Fed lactose intolerant mom cheese, almost killed her. |
t3_25xtup | relationships | My [27M] boyfriend called me [27F] ex's name after sex. Lied when I confronted him. Should I be upset? Read details please. | Hi all. I've been dating this man for 8 months. He broke up with said ex around 2 years ago (they dated 3 years). I never met her, but I had learned of her name through his friends. He had never told me her name, but it had come up in casual conversation separately, so he didn't know I knew her name. No biggie, I don't care about ex gfs.
Anyway, post-sex he calls me her name. Accidents happen, but I called him on it since he tried to ignore it to see if I didn't notice. I said:
Me: "Did you just call me [Random name]?"
Him: "Huh? I didn't just say that, did I?"
Me: "Yes, you just called me [Random girl name]. Tell me the truth, is that an ex's name?" (I knew full-well this was his ex, I just wanted him to admit it)
Him: "No, it isn't an ex. I don't think I even know a person named that... so weird I said that name!"
That's when I got pretty upset (internally, I get quiet when upset). I wasn't mad that he called me an ex, I was mad he was dishonest. I became silent and he said to not be mad, it was an accident. After a minute I told him I believed he was lying about it not being an ex's name and he looked shocked and came clean saying he didn't "want to admit he had called me his ex's name" and had freaked out.
Question, Reddit: Should I be upset? I haven't spoken to him since the incident (at work now). Not sure how to handle this one. Thoughts? I'm a bit hurt about the lie.
He is generally very mature and sweet. I've asked that our relationship be truthful and honest and it feels to have been to this point. I just don't like that he looked me deadpan in the face and said he wasn't lying. Ouch. | Boyfriend called me ex's name and tried to play it off and pretend it wasn't an ex's name till I called him on it. Feeling lied to. |
t3_4rskhs | relationships | (23M) Unsure about (23F) consenting to sex | There is this girl I met who I've seen 5-6 times on various dates over the course of 1.5 months; I have been taking it slow (nothing sexual) because imo anticipation tends to increase intensity.
The other day we had planned on having a few drinks and spending the night at her place; fast forward 3-4 drinks (I've had a couple more but neither of us are more than tipsy) and things are getting hot and heavy. We are making out and I'm kissing her breasts/feeling each other up as we're watching a movie in bed.
Once the movie is coming to an end I close the computer screen and things advance to dry humping/over panties fingering, now here is where things get complicated. She says no a few times and struggles to push herself on top, saying "I want it my way". I know she wants to be submissive but also likes to put up a fight, so I continue to keep some body-weight on her and continue to kiss/pet BUT she continues this 2-3 times at which point I start to just kiss her and cuddle.
A minute into cuddling she asks to get more drinks (pours herself 2-3 drinks worth) and asks to share.
I'm confused, should I have continued and simply held her down ignoring her struggle? She didn't seem alarmed and everything is still normal as we've hung out since. | She said no but I think it may have been her wanting to be dominated; I'm always very careful with consent while this post may not seem it. |
t3_3hn6cw | relationships | My [15M] mom [44F] is cheating on my dad [46M] | Throwaway because friends know my main account.
Hey Reddit, long time lurker, but this is my first time posting here. I never thought I would be, but here I am.
My mom and dad have been together for 20 years, married for 17. Things are generally great around the house; they don't argue. They treat each other great. It's a great household.
Yesterday, I was in the living room by myself. My mom's phone was on the table and she got a text. It was from some guy named Jared and it said "How are you doing sexy?" At this point I'm curious so I unlock her phone and read through the text messages hoping that I wouldn't find anything. Well, that obviously wasn't the case. I found super sexual texts, and some nudes. Screenshotted them and sent it to myself.
I can't believe my mom would do this. What the fuck?
How do I go about telling my dad? I have proof but IDK where my emotions will take me. | Found sexts towards a man who's not my father in my mom's phone. |
t3_2e5d5o | relationships | Girlfriend [22F] just broke up with me [21M] after a short attempt after a break | So my ex and I were together since last July. I went abroad and when I came back, we hit a bit of a rough patch at the end of July. We eventually decided to work on it, and things were going well. I got home from work today and she was waiting at the house. She opened with "we need to talk", and I guess I just knew where it was going.
She basically said that she loves me, etc. But she doesn't feel that "connection" anymore and she doesn't think she can be in a serious relationship (with me) anymore. I just feel a little lost and confused because it did blindside me a little. This was my first real relationship with the whole "I love you" thing and also my first thing that lasted longer than a year. Any sort of advice would be appreciated, as I just don't know how to process it and it's all so new. | Got broken up with, looking for advice. |
t3_2efxku | relationships | My [22F] ex of 3 years, and I [28F] made plans to spend the day together after 1 half months apart. | I have been 98% no contact with my ex since we split on July 7th. We both work in the same place but hadn't seen each other in a long time. I'm pretty sure she is with someone else that is a good friend of hers. I see her in work the other day she was in with this guy. she led me into another room away from this guy so we could have a little chat alone. We shared a long cuddle which ended in us holding hands and then another cuddle.
She had a birthday present for me from the other week so I opened that and then we just chatted for half hour about what we had been up to since we was apart, while we chatted she would sometimes place her hand on my knee/leg or she would be kicking my foot playfully with her own. I suggested I would go because she seemed a little busy but said it was okay to stay.
We also spoke about meeting up on Monday (25th August) and spending the day together.
Then this guy come in I was polite and said hello I knew him already from when I was with my ex and things didn't seem awkward for me or her with him being in the room. I got up and said bye and mentioned she should stop bye before she leaves.
During this time she commented on one of my instagram photos.
It came down to her leaving and I walked out to her car with her and this guy. Before she got in the car she gave me another hug and then mentioned about meeting up on Monday in front of this guy and to text her plans, after this she left smiling and waving at me as she drove off.
The next day I get a text from her with ideas on what we could do for the day we text a little more and then the convo died. I didn't text her anymore, and now I wait to see what tomorrow shall bring. | Who plans that in front of their new partner? |
t3_3qaxot | tifu | TIFU by naming a file FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx | This happened to me last week in my Spanish 2 class. It was the Sunday before last and I was working on a Spanish project and I got a text from some of my friends asking if I wanted to go hang out. I said sure and named the file FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx and placed it on my desktop hoping I would notice and complete the project. I got home, took a shower, and finished the project. I saved it and put it on my flash drive. Fast forward to 5th period last Monday and I'm up to present so I plug my flash drive into my teachers computer (which the screen is being displayed via a projector in front of the whole class) and I open up the flash drives contains files and see FINISHMEFUCKWAD.pptx. The teacher flipped and I got in school suspension for a week. | name a file finishmefuckwad.pptx for a presentation, open it in front of class, teacher flips, ISS for a week. |
t3_4upper | Advice | Trying to decide between an early full time job or going for an education | Hey, /r/advice. I'm torn between this subject and I'm looking for some answers that may help me decide what to do.
I'm a 21 y/o who works part time and recently I was offered full time. If I go through with it, I'll be making just over 40k a year and have benefits as well. I'll be working 49 hours a week with one day off. I work for a grocery store and most of the work is physical labor.
However,
I've seriously been thinking about going to school. Though I do not know what I want a degree in, I know that working toward one will eventually lead me toward something that I'm interested in pursuing. I would be taking classes on campus of a medium sized community college. On top of getting an education, I'd like to think I would have a better social life then I do right now.
This is where I am torn.
This full time opportunity would make me money earlier, allowing me to do things such as move out of my parents house and save for the future. However, because I would be working so often, I would have virtually no social life and be invested with this company, making it difficult to leave if I wanted to.
With going to school, though I would have more free time and social aspects, I wouldn't be making a bunch of money like I would if I was full time. Yes, I could work full time and do something such as on-line classes, but with working nearly 50 hours a week at a physical labor job, I don't know that I would have the energy to invest time into classes.
If I do go to school, I still plan to work part time because it won't be as difficult to manage. | The choice I am trying to make is between the following: |
t3_4i8uo1 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my fear of starting a new relationship | So... I am a Fit 21 year old man.
I've never tried talking about my relationships or anything of this nature to anyone not in person but I am baffled.
I am going to keep it concise so i can just learn and better myself to either continue my "dating experience" or give up on it for another few years and work on me more if i feel it is necessary.
My relationship experiance is rather poor. I was a nerd in highschool and in college i got laid by a friends with benefits. I haven't had a legitamate relationship in a rather long time (few years i dont remember).
Ive been working on my self quite hard to get the body i want and to be as fit and strong i have dreamed about. I decided outa the blue i would try a dating app on my phone because of convenience sake. Well first month of using it and i have gotten nothing but catfish girls(pictures that are nothing close to in person).
I was raised right so i gave my time of day to each lady but i find it hard to trust someone who wont post a recent (pref timestamped picture) picture. Mostly because i have had a hard time trusting anyone besides my parents and me.
Ive always been honest on these profiles saying im looking for a long term type relationship. In person i have no problem with speaking and talking to people.
I recently as of a few days ago deactivated my accounts so i wouldnt have people waiting on my reply. I just want an answer to why this is happening, like maybe im just unlucky or something of that nature. | I'm a nice guy who has trust issue trying dating again. been catfish'd several times. I want an answer basically. |
t3_1zgpr6 | relationships | Trying to learn to be apart? Need some tips. | Hey guys!
Long story short is that I [23m] and my girlfriend [23f] have been going out for 10 months now, were madly in love, have a great relationship etc etc etc ....
I live an hour and a half away from her though, and because she's a teacher and spends evenings planning for the next day, seeing her mid week is kinda rare. Except for Wednesday's when we meet for date night, and then obviously spend all weekend with each other.
Is there something weird with me, that when she sees her friends and they dont invite me out to things mid week, that I get jealous?? Am I being over the top? Should I back away?
Also, I'm trying to learn how to be apart from her in general, and not get weird when she says she's got other arrangements on the weekneds. Any tips on that? | I'm trying to learn to be apart from my girlfriend, I need tips from any experienced people. |
t3_qo1uh | AskReddit | What is a situation where you did the right thing, but still felt bad about it? | Here's mine:
When I was in high school a friend that I wasn't very close with had a LiveJournal account. All the girls in our "circle" read it because this girl thrived on drama and each entry read like the high school version of a Real Housewives episode. Anyway, she started posting about how she was two-timing these two guys from our class. Her entries were all public and, as I said, many people read it.
Both of the guys really liked her, and I was furious that not only was she playing them both, she was basically doing so publicly and no one was telling the guys about this. I didn't know them very well, and though I might be called a pussy for this, I didn't feel right telling them directly or getting blamed for the drama that this girl was causing. So I created a fake email account and sent one email to both guys that simply had a link to her LiveJournal. They each subsequently broke up with her, although she is still good friends with one of them.
I am certain that what I did was the right thing - I felt that these guys were being publicly humiliated and I couldn't believe that no one would tell them. But I am still friends with that girl and I know that she has other friend-betrayal issues (probably stemming from her need for drama, but still).. So to this day I feel terrible about it. | I emailed two guys a link to a girl's LiveJournal where she detailed how she was dating both simultaneously. |
t3_40p8g8 | tifu | TIFU by spelling my name wrong | For those who do not know, the pSAT is a "pre" version of a test used in America by colleges. The pSAT is taken by all high schoolers, but is a short test of ~4 hours.
Anyway, on the test I put my email, marcos(mi)(lastname)[email protected] which was used to email me my scores a week ago. Well, I couldn't view my scores, and was not able to make an account for some reason. We called, and they couldn't figure out the problem. Well yesterday, I got an email (advertisement from a college)... But they spelled my name wrong...
"Dear Narcos..."
I filled in the wrong bubble on the test.
I can't access my scores or make an account because I have the wrong name. If I make an account using "Narcos" I'll have it registered wrong name on everything the SAT is uses | I'm not "Marcos" to colleges. I am a word for a Mexican Drug Lord, "Narcos" |
t3_erxsv | AskReddit | Does PayPal or no PayPal make a difference to you? | Hi /r/AskReddit,
I run a small online business and have done for over two years. I'm currently at a point where I'm considering ditching PayPal completely as a payment option, however, what concerns me is the potential loss of sales that otherwise having PayPal as a payment option may represent.
I understand that I'm asking a somewhat biased crowd, due to the recent Wikileaks shenanigans, however, the Reddit community is part of my target audience (a lá web hosting) and so I feel your opinions will still be extremely useful. I'm also concerned about PayPal folding to US Government pressure, and I'm British; furthermore, I have received a chargeback fee from PayPal passed on from a card issuer due to PayPal's failure (and partly my own failure for not recognising one or two suspicious factors) to screen the transaction.
If possible, please visit [the website] for the business and just experience the visit so that you may form your own opinion of how the sites looks, whether the business looks professional/reputable or not and then ask yourself the question I am asking... Does not accepting PayPal make a difference to your opinion of the business that you are hypothetically considering parting with your hard-earned for?
Any general constructive criticism that you may have while you are at it will also be gladly received. | [Visit here] look around, assume the site does not accept PayPal and only accepts direct card payments; does this affect your hypothetical purchasing decision? |
t3_2uydhw | relationships | I [23 M] need to break it off with the girl [23 F] I'm seeing...help | How? I've essentially been seeing a really good friend of mines ex-gf for around two weeks and my conscious is killing me. I need to break it off, she makes me happy but not enough to ruin a friendship.
I still want to be friends with her because she is an amazing girl, but i don't know if she can do that. I'll understand if she doesn't want to be friends after.
What should i say? I feel like it's a lot easier for me to break it off because I've been more so just having fun than actually thinking it's anything more than that. I'm about 90% positive she wants me and her to be more.
I don't want to hurt her feelings. Should i just be upfront and direct or should i approach it differently?
This all began about two weeks ago with alcohol, yes i know, stupid mistake.
Especially with Valentines around the corner. I feel bad breaking this off right before, or should i wait it out until after?
I need help guys please
# | dating close friends ex-gf, need to break it off, conscious killing me |
t3_to38j | AskReddit | Reddit, can I still make it or is hope lost for me at this point? | I'm sitting here in front of my computer after not sleeping for the past day. It's finals week and although I should be studying or sleeping for my next final on Wednesday, I just feel really defeated. I got my grades back for one of my classes and I got a D meaning I'm going to have to take it again if I want to continue my major.
So here's the situation, I'm about to finish my junior year hopefully with at least a 3.0 gpa my overall is around a 2.5. I have this fancy sounding yet actually insignificant major; neurobiology & physiology. The only reason I picked it is because it sounded good. The earlier class is not the only class I messed up in during my idiotic attempt at college, there have been 3 I believe. I also haven't really done anything extracurricular that means anything. I got this pretty cool job now part time but it's not really relative to my goal.
So what I want to know reddit is if I can still make it into medical school?
It sounds stupid but even though it's something my parents have always wanted me to do and what was nearly expected of me because my dad is a doctor and I a firstborn son of foreign heritage, it is something that I can see myself doing. But I'm almost positive I've fucked everything up and it's not even that I'm stupid or just can't do it when it comes to making the grade... I'm just not assertive. There were those moments where I have brief focus and good results come, I got a 95% on an orgo test before. I don't know what it is maybe I'm scared of the future or something, but I really don't want to be middle-20something-doing-nothing and I think that's what everything's leading up too if what I'm doing continues. | future's not looking too bright, can anyone give a nigga some advice? |
t3_2q4fe3 | relationships | [F23] confused about why [m22] has suddenly stopped talking to me | I'm currently travelling around a new country. I met Elliot (also a traveller, from the same country as me) a month ago in a bar while we were both drunk. I kissed him at the club, then a friend and I went back to his with his roommate for drinks (didn't sleep with him, but fooled around in his bed.)
I assumed that would be the end of it, but we found each other on Facebook a few days later and began talking constantly. We'd message everyday, throughout the day,and snapchat too. He is working in so country, but I'm still travelling and had a two week trip planned so we went out together on a date (I stayed round his and slept with him) and we planned to meet up when I got back.
While I was away we messaged constantly. Some of it was quite dirty, which wasn't the best idea, but never mind. He also sent me messages that mentioned us being together in the future and basically stuff that didn't imply this was just sex.
When I got back we went out and had an amazing date, amazing sex, great morning but he had to go to work and left me at his flat, told me to make a cup of tea and leave when I was ready.
We were due to have a date two days ater, but he cancelled. He had a flight back to our home country the next morning (28 hour) and hadn't packed, so I wasn't fazed by that. He has now stopped returning my messages on Facebook and I'm confused s to why. He's seen them, but hasn't messaged me in 3 days. He worked really long hours at a stressful job up until his flight, so he could just be in a holiday coma, or he's an ass. I don't know whether I'm overreacting or if I'm making excuses for him and being naive.
I'm confused because we've gone from tens of messages a day to completely silence. And I'm not an idiot, he did like me, but this behaviour is very strange. | Met a guy a month ago, messaged constantly and had three great dates, now he seems to have dropped off the radar and hasn't spoke to me in days. Am I being paranoid or should I just assume it's run it's course? |
t3_1961bf | relationships | My (16F) girlfriend gets beat by her dad, he is fucking pyshco, And I'm not sure exactly what do | Alright well friday night my girlfriend and I were drinking and her dad was telling her to come home and making a huge deal out of it. She was talking to her mom about her dad beating her again and my drunk self got really fucking pissed... I called her dad and told her shes not coming home (I would had to drive anyway) and he flipped the fuck out. He was then on the way too my house so I drove to a parking lot drunk where we stayed the night. She has been with me and her mom since then but her dad is still really fucking pissed and I know he will probably beat her again... From what it seems i guess her mom hasnt done shit about it.
What should I do? | My GF's Dad is fucking crazy, has stocked her on more then 1 occasion, and occasionaly beats her. Im not sure what to do |
t3_2tgx8v | tifu | TIFU by getting mad at a girl | This happened long ago when I was in 3rd grade or so. There was this annoying white girl that always tried to annoy us by trying to kiss me and my friends. Unfortunately, she's straight Bye Felicia type of chick, so we were totally not interested.
Well during the Cinco de Mayo festival at my school, I'm having a jolly grand time with my friends, playing festival games and winning tickets and toys and stuff. Felicia decides to try hanging out with us, but we told her to get lost because she was just dumb. Skip a half hour ahead, and as my friend and I are enjoying ourselves, the principal walks over to us with Felicia and asks, "Sharehappyness did you try to kiss Felicia against her will?" I was just so astounded that I made the dopiest face imaginable. As if I had just walked into a room, and saw the real Iron Throne levels of shock.
Obviously, I denied all charges, but Felicia kept accusing me. It was totally a he said she said thing, but luckily my friend backed me up. Still, the principal didn't totally believe my friend and I because the possibility that a girl would be the aggressor and act so frivolously was just incomprehensible to him. Thankfully, all he did was just tell us not to do it again, and walked away. Fucking Felicia had the gall to stick her tongue out at us as she walked away with him. What a bitch.
That incident totally ruined my day, and as I was playing some kickball later that day, I was still hella mad and kicked the ball really hard. Unfortunately, the angle of my foot hit the ball in such a way that the ball hit my face hard and I fell down and hit my head. My head got a gash and I think I got a slight concussion, and I was sent home. | Annoying girl that always tried to kiss me accuses me instead of trying to kiss her, tells the principal on me, I get in trouble, and proceed to give myself a concussion by kicking myself in the face with a ball. Fucking Felicia. |
t3_2ehoiy | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Gf [20] for 2 years. Was she flirting with my friend? | Basically when me and my girlfriend first met, a few days after we started having sex but weren't together, me and my friends were chilling eating ice cream. We didn't have a spoon and were all pretty drunk, and the girl i'm with now said to a guy who is our mutual friend, 'if you get me a spoon i'll give you a blowjob' and everyone laughed.
It plays on my mind and I don't know what to think of it she says it was a joke but who says stuff like that? It's just difficult because he is like my best friend now and we would always chill and hangout together a lot of times the three of us. I just don't really trust that my girlfriend didn't like or get with him at any point because they were good friends too. He has always been there trying to help us in our relationship with any problems, but i've seen people do messed up stuff and so its caused a lot of paranoia. Any thoughts or ideas that are helpful? Thanks | girlfriend said she'd give mutual friend a blowjob for a spoon, paranoid that she liked him throughout our relationship. |
t3_gcwai | AskReddit | Fellow redditors, this has been one awful month, and I need some advice about a laptop/warranty. (non-technical) | Basically to summarize my month: My cell phone broke, the car broke down, health issues, my glasses broke and I have been without decent sight for over a week, and now...to top it all off...my lovely wife (no sarcasm) spilled her drink all over our new laptop, which we are still making payments on. (The keyboard and button/mousepad have stopped working.) The warranty will, of course, not cover accidental damage. However, HP has an "accidental damage" care package that you can purchase anytime within the first year of ownership. It may not be ethical, but dammit, if it works I will absolutely go this route. So I guess my question is, do you think this will work? Do any of you have any experience with the HP's accidental damage protection? | Wife spilled drink on laptop (not working now), can we buy $100 accidental damage plan from HP, and use it, after the damage was already done? (We are still in the initial one year warranty) It mentions diagnostics tests, but not sure how thorough they are. Really need something to brighten my day right now....any advice would be awesome. |
t3_2tco23 | offmychest | It was a JOKE!!! | As a small back story the other day we almost had a spontaneous moment and toyed with the idea of going to Disneyland. However since he had some previously made plans we came to the decision that it would be best to not ditch out on responsibilities.
Today I was trying to be cute and coy I asked my friend if he had his measles vaccinations, that question in general did not start of right, this should of been my first sign, then we went into a whole conversation about seeing the doctor. As much as I tried to assure him there was nothing wrong with me and that the reason why I was asking was for some other reason and I didn't want to go into it through text messages he for some reason kept thinking that I had some sort of medical condition and wanted to know what was going on. In any case after some joking around I had mentioned that the reason why I asked if he had his measles vaccination was because I wanted for us to maybe ditch work and go to Disneyland. He got upset and apparently didn't see my humor in asking that. Who knew? So anyone got suggestions as to apologize to him in a couple of hours when he cools down? | I was trying to ask to go to Disneyland by asking if he had all his vaccinations - He mad |
t3_1km7sx | relationship_advice | I'm a (22F) and my boyfriend (25m) wants to invite (23F) to live with us. | I go to school in the Chicago area. My boyfriend and I are both in our 20s, and for the first time ever we rented an apartment where it was just the two of us. It is an extremely large studio. However, one of our mutual friends came across some trouble and got kicked out of her living situation while attending school. She can't afford to rent anything thats more than 300 a month. But she needs to stay in the area to finish college. My boyfriend wants to take her in indefinitely until she finds a new place. However, I realize that indefinitely is going to be for a very long time given her financial situation. I want to help her I really do. But I suffer extreme anxiety, and living with too many people literally drives me up a wall and causes me to act irrational. Or when people in my living space are particularly mean to me it causes me to feel unsafe and I have a nervous breakdown (if thats what you want to call it). In fact, its almost caused us to break up before but thats another story. But I've been so much better living on my own, that I'm really hesitant to share my space again, but I know its the right thing to do.
She's also more beautiful than me, and I've been really insecure lately. I've been sick and sometimes sex has just been out of the question, and when it is in the question, honestly, sometimes he doesn't seem that into it. There are times where I have to visit NYC for doctors appointments. How do I manage this insecurity? I feel like at my lowest moments, I'm not going to be particularly trusting of either of them. | Basically I'm crazy and live better when its just my boyfriend and me. But we are having a girl move in long term. How do I deal with this? Especially given my insecurities over my illness and my inability to have sex sometimes due to said illness? |
t3_1892xx | relationships | Thinking about going to lunch with a friend [F/21] I used to have a crush on but no longer do. Should I [M/21] tell my gf [F/19]? | I've been dating my gf for ~4 months now. She's one of the most wonderful people I've ever met and I feel pretty lucky to be with her. I went downtown with some friends last night and ran into a girl I used to flirt with and had a crush on eight months ago. She's always been someone who's really fun but at this point I have nothing but platonic feelings for her. I told her I had a crush on her 8 months ago and she didn't reciprocate. It was pretty cordial and I moved on (and obviously now have found someone new).
She suggested the idea of catching up over lunch since I haven't properly hung out with her in eight months. I don't really have plans on seeing her again (unless we run into each other or hang out in a group setting) after the lunch but I'm not sure if this is a situation where I should let my gf know that I plan on doing this? If you were my gf, would you want to know that I did this? I don't really share the schedule of my day (unless asked ofc) with my gf and she doesn't with me (again, unless asked). | Want to catch up with a girl I had a crush on from a long time ago. Should I tell my gf that I'm going to lunch with her or is it not as big of a deal in my head as I'm making it out to be? |
t3_26w6qo | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] for 3 years, I feel so lost. | I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, we can call her Amanda..
Amanda is a great person and an amazing friend to me. She is very trustworthy and genuine, however there are some things pushing me away from being with her longer.
Before I dated Amanda, I had one other girlfriend, we can call her Emily. Emily was my first love but we broke up after senior year in high school. 3 weeks after we broke up I met Amanda and started dating her. It was way too soon for me as I still was in love with Emily. But I got over her and after a while fell in love with Amanda.
Starting last year I started talking to Emily and we made a new friendship. Emily and I click together better than me and Amanda which kills me because of how much Amanda cares for me. I just don't feel as strongly for her.. she wants to get married to me and I already know I don't. I've tried breaking up with her but she always stays and never gives up on me.. which makes me want to stay.
So fast forward to how I messed up. Amanda has been gone on vacation to her relatives place, and last night Emily wanted to hang out. I went to her house and after a few laughs and playful gestures we kiss. It was the most amazing kiss I've had in years. I kiss her everywhere and we can't let go of each other. I think she wanted to take it further but I couldn't, but we kept cuddling. We were so happy to be there together and I haven't felt a connection like that in years. I feel like poop and I don't know what to do from here.. should I just move on from that and be better to Amanda? I'm lost. | Made out with my ex gf while my gf, who I haven't felt as strongly for, is on vacation |
t3_o8tut | relationships | Is it worth the struggle? | (this is my first post, please redirect me if I'm in the wrong place for this!)
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 4 years (later on the off/on). Lately, he's been really hostile towards me and acting very weird.
Throughout our relationship, he'd get mad and tell me we're either broken up or "taking a break". During that time, he'd ignore me, tell me he never wants to see me again, etc. Some of these times would last months, and I'd end up with other people. He'd swoop in out of nowhere, either telling me he missed me, guilt tripping me back with him, or finding the person I'm with and becoming friends with them so he could convince them I'm bad or get them to leave.
Well, recently he started saying that being with these people counts as cheating, and he can't get over the fact I was with someone else, and he thinks I'm going to cheat/leave in the near future because of it. I've busted my ass trying to show him it's not true, we've been steady for the last year. I do everything around him, including friends, visiting family, what I eat, literally everything, but it doesn't ever amount to enough for him. He recently wrote me saying that he doesn't want to be with me because he can't trust me or forget I was with other people, but he doesn't want to break up because me being with other people would piss him off and make him hate me even more. He uses it to make me feel horrible about it, which I already did, but to the extent where he says it makes him not be able to look at me, that he can't look at me without imagining me with someone else.
I know it's an unhealthy situation, but I know he's also a very depressive personality, and I know he has outbursts. However, this comes up every few months or so, including when things seem to be perfect between us. I don't want to end it, but I'm starting to wonder if it's really worth fighting for, or will this just keep happening no matter what I do? Please help :/ | boyfriend hungup over what happened when we were broken up, uses it against me over and over. |
t3_13tabu | AskReddit | I am a calm person, but I can not play any mario kart game without getting severe anger management issues. Reddit, what things cause you to become the human embodiment of rage? | I consider myself to be a level headed person; I am not one to lose it over much and can handle stressful situations well. However, every time I have ever played Mario kart it has ended badly. The first incident I was in elementary school and while playing my brother walked in. I lost and then in a fit of rage gave him two black eyes. A couple years later I got it for the DS and the result was me punching a hole through my bedroom wall. The last time I played was for the wii when I thought I could control myself. Needless to say in the end I had a broken tv, but not destroyed by the wiimote-javelin, I had flipped the tv in my blinding fury. To this day I won't even dare play it; I can play any other video game or racing game, and in my life I have found nothing else that makes me lose my cool like Mario kart. | Mario kart, not even once |
t3_2bi60h | askwomenadvice | Best Friend [24 M] is Planning to propose to his gf[20 F] on her 21st, asking for advice to help make it special | Hi Redditors,
Hope i'm posting this in the right section! 3rd time lucky? :D
My best friend is planning to propose to his girlfriend on her 21st! so far only me and his sister are aware of his plans, but I want to try and help make it as special a moment for the both of them as I can, I have been asked to help out with music at the event (a big hall has been rented out for a party), so I figured I can help throw in some romantic music and such when he pops the question!
I have spoken to him this week about how he plans to do it, he has a rough idea but is open to suggestions, so I come to you Reddit asking for some creative ideas that I can either throw his way or use to help make this a truly special night!
His girlfriend is very fond of horses, and it happens that the sister is a very gifted cake maker, so the rough plan so far is to have a cake with some form of horse figure as a part of it where either the ring can be attached around its neck on a ribbon or as part of a decoration on the cake, then the cake be introduced to her at a point during the evening as she makes her wish he proposes etc. or at least that's the plan so far, but of course he is open to suggestions, so please any input would be really grateful! either for ideas for him, or for me to contribute!! | Best Friend proposing to girlfriend on her birthday, looking for ideas to help make it a truly special night. |
t3_3owoka | tifu | TIFU by giving a fuck about squirrels | So this was about an hour and 30 minutes ago, and I have finally stopped being in pain enough to walk from my bathroom back to my computer. Why was I at my bathroom? This shall now be answered.
So, it all started out when I came home from school about 2 hours ago. Being a senior (in high school) and fulfilling some of my credits already, I have a free period at the end of the day so I can leave early. I am also home alone. So I come home and I hop onto my computer and, ironically, start browsing Reddit. My desk is near a window that overlooks a backyard that leads up to a small strip of forest. Naturally, I tend to see a lot of animal activity, and today, even as I look outside right now, the squirrels tend to be all over the yard. Sometimes, I will try to quietly step outside and watch nature while getting some fresh air and a nice breeze.
This is where the fuckup seems to begin. So as I step out, I see a squirrel right next to my porch that is digging furiously. Intrigued, I start to step out as quietly as I can, and pause a few times when he looks up from his work. So I proceed to be as quiet as possible, and I put the heel of my foot downon the patio.... but something kind of "crunches" under my foot. At first, I didn't care too much about it, and figured that it was just some tree debris, which is all over the patio. However, I have a sudden pain in my foot. I look down in surprise to see that I have stepped on a giant fucking hornet, and it is stinging my foot profusely. I start going crazy on this bitch and stomping it to death, in which I luckily didn't get any more stings, which one could say I deserved for being stupid enough to stomp on a hornet. I'm yelling all kinds of profanity, and I manage to scare the damn squirrel away. So yup, I come to you now telling this story about how you should never pay more attention to nature than where you are walking. | Gave a squirrel too much attention, got stung by a hornet on the foot |
t3_13fmfm | relationship_advice | 20/m my girlfriend 19/f of 4 and half years lied to me about smoking with and spending the night at this guys house | so back story I guess? Been with my gf for almost five years now and its been a great relationship, she is a wonderful girlfriend and really everything a guy could ask for: smart, pretty, great in bed, plays video games, and knows a lot about cars. She has stood by my side through a lot of rough family shit and through a lot of emotional stuff I have gone through. I am bi polar and I can be a lot to handle. Anyway what I am trying to get at is over she has been trust worthy and I have never had any reason to not trust her ever, In fact she is the only person in my life I have ever been able to fully trust....until this Friday. Girlfriend just started her first semester at her university, its a commuter school so she still lives close, she usually has been really shy and has had a hard time making friends but recently she has been talking alot about this guy and how she hangs out with him everyday, being I have never had a problem with her and other guys I think nothing of it, I am happy for her, just glad she is making friends. Some shit went down (Her dad found out I was having sex with his daughter) and she had to stay at her "friends house" she told me she was staying at a girlfriends house. This Friday she tells me she spent the night at the guy's house who she has been hanging out with a lot at school, and on top of that she got high while she was there. Now there were other people there but still her lying about being there at all is what is bothering me, not the fact that it was a guys house....Am I wrong to be freaking out about her reason for lying? Like it is really getting to me, I keep thinking the worst, oh and I forgot to mention this guy is REALLY into her. Like flirts with her all the time via texts. What do I do? confront the guy? tell him hey back off? I just feel I can't trust my gf anymore because what possible reason could she have for lying to me when I have never had a problem with her doing any of the stuff she did before. | gf spent the night with some friends at a guys house who has a huge crush on her and got high with them then lied to me about it |
t3_2licxy | relationships | My wife[27 F] has no best friend and I [28 M] see it hurting her but have no idea how to help. | I have been with my wife for 10 years in a relationship and for 2 years married and in all that time she has never really had a "best" friend. She and I share a common group of close friends but she feels that they are more my friends than hers. She has made attempts to get closer with the few female friends that we have but has never really made a connection.
She tells me I am her best friend but that she wishes she had a female to talk to and just hang out with in general.
I can see that she gets very sad when she thinks about this and it kills me inside because I can't think of a way to help her. | WIfe has no female best friend and Idk how to help her find one. |
t3_3cob5y | relationships | [F/31] Having issues with my friends understanding my chronic pain. | I have chronic migraines. Now, I know what you're thinking- "oh, isn't that just a bad headache?". No, it's not. It's nearly blinding pain, nearly every day. I have to go an hour away, to a doctor who only treats migraine patients. I've had Botox, triptans, ER stays, nerve blocks that gave me seizures, etc. I'm quickly running out of treatment options. We're getting to the point that surgery might be on the horizon. *This is serious business.* Migraines can sometimes trigger strokes. To say I'm scared is an understatement.
So, because of the chronic pain, I don't get out much. I keep up with my friends online mostly. (I've known most of these people for years.) I'm on a Facebook group with most of them, it makes it easier to keep up. Yesterday, I posted to the group that I was going to the migraine specialist, and I was *scared*, for the above reasons. I wanted prayers, good thoughts, juju, whatever. I got one response. Just one. And this happens every damn time I post about the migraines. I either get no response, or just one or two.
I only post about them when I go to the doctor, and yesterday was the first appointment in three months. Meanwhile, others in the group are having issues that, *to me*, are trivial, and they're getting all kinds of support. WTF? Am I a bad friend? Should I just drop these friends? | I have chronic migraine, friends don't seem to care. Am I a bad friend? Should I find new friends? |
t3_2zbc26 | relationships | 21M nasty breakup with my 21F girlfriend after three years. Broken up with twice in a week, she had relations with someone, still respect her. What can I do to help myself? | -Lose a lot of hours at work during winter time, we became a bit routine due to low budget, and my father was visiting for a month so I could only see her late at night
-She out of nowhere says she wants a break, terrified of her future since she's graduating next winter. I was planning on giving her a promise ring on our anniversary (which is today).
-Week went by, says she wants to go on a date with me to see where she's at. Went great, go back home, make up
-She tells me she had sex with her coworker during that time, but hated every second of it.
-I forgave her
-We go to plan our spring break trip, she starts crying an hour after and says she has to end it for good
-Haven't had contact for 5 weeks, still doesn't feel real, like i'm a dog waiting at the door for his owner to come back. It was so sudden and strange because she hated how many guys she was with before and didn't want "her number" to go up any higher again, and that she is the nicest human being in our friend group.
-I have started lifting, running daily, stopped smoking weed, eat so healthy that I can't keep weight on and I still haven't gotten my appetite back (6'2" 160lbs).
-I still haven't improved at all emotionally, yet I want to find someone new but I'm terrified i'll just settle for anyone who will give me attention. However, I think finding another person is the medicine I need. What do you think is the best course of action? | Ridiculously nice girlfriend put me on a break, had sex with another guy, took me back, broke up with me for good, still hasn't registered in my head, body can't take the physical toll so i'm making no progress in the gym, think I need to find someone else. |
t3_3pibbd | relationships | My [21F] mom [50sF] has cancer and my family is putting an insane amount of stress on me | My mom was diagnosed with cancer two months ago and began chemo a month ago. This has been really hard on my family both emotionally and financially. My dad had a stroke last year and can't work anymore (he is on disability, I live in the US) and my family has always been poor with little savings. My mom makes near-minimum wage at a job she has for the benefits and would clean houses after work for cash. She currently can't work at all but she's on a leave of absence from her benefits job so at least we still have those benefits.
I'm in college in the city right near my parents but I don't drive so it still takes me an hour and a half to get from my apartment to my parents'. I used to go to college six hours away but transferred after my dad had a stroke which was a really big sacrifice (not "bragging" or anything, just giving context; my other school was much more highly ranked and I had a lot of friends who I really miss). However, I've made it work at my new school and I have an unpaid position in a lab that is going to MAKE my grad school applications. Seriously, I'll be published at least three times, I got my own funding, I'm on track for a first author paper, I have an incredible mentor etc etc. I'm applying to really competitive programs and this position is going to give me that edge.
The problem is that my family expects me to be around CONSTANTLY. I go home almost every weekend but apparently that's not enough. My dad calls me at least five times a day asking why I'm not at home. Well, I'm in class or at the lab. They expect me to go to their house every day after classes to be with her. That's three hours round trip not including the time I actually spend with her! My whole family wants me to quit the lab because it "takes away from family time". I don't want to quit! Is that selfish? I love the work I'm doing, I love my classes, I finally figured out what I want to go to graduate school for. Am I wrong for feeling like giving this up would be too big a sacrifice? | Family is pressuring me to spend all my time with them because my mom has cancer, would mean leaving an important (but unpaid) position |
t3_29hg8e | relationship_advice | (27/m) potential couple swap, but I have a history of cheating | So I have been in a healthy relationship with my current partner of 5years (we are a gay couple) and recently some friends of ours have admitted to my fiancée that they would like to "swap" with us.
Before my current relationship I was in another relationship where I cheated on my partner with multiple other people for about 6 years. My partner now knows this and knows I am faithful now, but it is a struggle for me. I love him very much and know how hurtful it is to be cheated on.
Our good friends are very close to us and I have no fear if losing them if things did not go as they planned. My fear is of a sort of "relapse" into that part of my life if cheating. I also know this is completely up to me and my choices so I guess I'm looking for some outside perspective... | recovering cheater here and my fiancée wants to swap w another couple |
t3_11ni0e | BreakUps | I (27m) broke up with gf (24f). Need help. | I don't even know where to start with this. Long story short I wanted to focus on fixing problems within my life and the stress of everything was getting to me. I was a loving person became this piece of shit because I just became depressed. I literally couldn't see outside of it. I had extreme depression and I should've done something about it earlier than later. I still love her very much and honestly, therapy has helped me realize that she really truly loved me and I fucked it up. Growing up I had a lot of issues with girls taking advantage of me and ultimately treating me like shit. I felt like I've never had love from anyone, but I know for a fact that she loved me. I don't want to let her go, but I don't want to hurt her. I don't know if she's over it or not, but if I got back together with her everything would be so fucking different. Everyone tries to tell me, "plenty of fish" "hit and quit" "don't put the pussy on a pedestal" I just want these people to shut the fuck up. I feel like I can't live my own life. All I know is that I love her and I don't know what to do. I need some real sound advice, not something like, "herp derp dun get back with someone you broek up with." I've seen people who really love each other get back together and they're a million times better than what they were before. I know it's possible. | I messed up, I don't think it's too late, I genuinely believe in love and I would never treat her like that ever again. She was a beautiful person and I destroyed everything because I couldn't see past myself. I know she still cares. |
t3_3truya | tifu | Tifu by drinking my own piss. | No throwaway, because no shame.
So I live in Washington where it's legal to smoke the mariweedus. So last week I got really stoned and was drinking my peach Snapple (I'm addicted to the stuff). Later that evening I had to piss but was too lazy to get up so, you guessed it...I pissed in my empty Snapple bottle.
Fast forward to last night, I had just gotten home from driving across the state and I really wanted a Snapple. I look in the fridge and the was one left in all its glory, Cracked it open, and downed half of it but realized it was my last one and was kinda bummed.
I made my way to my room, and was really happy because I saw a half full bottle of Snapple so I said "fuck it, mix them together!" As you know...this other bottle wasn't Snapple. I took a big gulp...immediately realized the horrible error I had made, and started puking. | pissed in a Snapple bottle, a week later mixed it with an actual Snapple, drank it, puked. |
t3_enl3n | AskReddit | What is the most bizarre dream you have ever had? | This morning, I had this dream I was on a hunt for some sort of minor demon. I was with this guy in a loincloth. We were cutting brush with knifes and hit this plant that was like corn husks wrapped around orange twigs. As we were slashing at it, loincloth man made me stop because this was the plant that held the demon.
We retreated because we had to wait for nightfall and I had to get the demon-killing knife (which, surprisingly, was just a normal kitchen knife). Loincloth man makes a phone call (surprisingly to Wallace Shawn, the 'inconceivable guy' from Princess Bride).
Loincloth man: "This is important. We need to know now. Do you believe in god?"
Wallace Shawn: "You need at least 14 minutes to have a conversation about whether god exists."
At this point, my boyfriend rips off all the covers because I have massively overslept for work. | I had the most crazily vivid, bizarre dream last night. What is yours? |
t3_3vhjt6 | legaladvice | No road engineering study done on a road...is the speed enforceable by radar? | A road in my town was recently changed from a 45mph (was that for the last 8+ yrs) to a 35mph zone. I was clocked doing 51/35 (a reasonable speed on that road) by radar recently, and decided to fight the ticket. The road itself is maintained by the state of NC since it on a weird town border.
I contacted the DOT for an information request and found that no speed study was ever done on the road in the past 5 years. There was however an ordinance put in place for the speed to be changed to a 35, and as such the speed limit was changed.
I found a state statute (NC) that said when a speed limit is changed, a road engineering study must be done, to which those engineers then make recommendations for the ordinance to be put in place. I contacted the person who submitted the ordinance, and they stated that they submitted it because they drove the road and felt it should be changed to a 35mph zone.
My real question here is: Given the fact that there was no road study done, can the speed be enforced by radar to the new posted speed that was zone outside of state statutes? Additionally, given the information I have gathered above, how much of a case do you think I have here, and would it be effective in getting the ticket thrown out. | Got pulled over doing 51/35 on a road that had no engineering study done. The speed was 45 for many years and it was changed outside of state statutes to a 35 using only an ordinance. Is this enough to get the ticket thrown out? |
t3_1olai3 | relationships | I'm [19f] falling for a person [18m] who I can't be falling for. | I've known this guy for about a year. I met him through a guy I had dated in high school and when he dated a friend of mine [17f] we reconnected and became friends again in June. They broke up after dating for only 2 weeks.
So here is where things get complicated. I've been in a rough relationship with a cheating and manipulative guy on and off all summer. During the summer my girl friend was trying to get back together with this guy, she ended up getting him alone in the shower and they had sex, it was a bad idea for both of them. She had a pregnancy scare and he decided after that, that he was not into her. (She was very dramatic about the whole thing.)
Well I have stopped talking to her and we've gone our separate ways, but me and my guy friend have been talking quite a lot. He was the one who convinced me to end my bad relationship.
He reminded me what it's like when someone actually cares about you. He made me feel beautiful and worth while. After being so emotionally abused it was really hard to not fall for someone so charming.
*But here is the catch, my girl friend is still madly in love with this guy! Shes still starting rumors at our old high school (both him and I have graduated) that they are fuck buddies. She even went so far as to tell me "you better not fall for him or things will be really bad for you". I feel endlessly guilty for liking this guy. We're just friends right now, but I can't deny I have feelings for him.*
***I have no idea how to handle this situation. Should I stop talking to him? Should I face my fears and tell my girl friend? Should I just leave things be? | Starting to have feelings for my friends ex-fling who she is still "in love" with. We're just friends, but I feel like I'm betraying her by just being his friend. |
t3_1qdhy3 | jobs | Need advice on to stay or go | Since August, I have been on an informal improvement plan, which unfortunately I have not met due to mistakes I have made (sending confidential information on accident to the wrong person). Due to this, I had a formal meeting today, where I will be monitored with weekly supervisions for 4 weeks. I am also on my final warning (never received a first, but due to the confidentially risk, that is why it is final). The final warning will last from 12 -24months, during which time if I made any mistakes, it will go to a hearing where I could be dismissed. If I don't improve in these 4 weeks, it will go to the same hearing.
It's not a job I want to do long term, but I have done it for 3 years. I have been with the team for 7. I like the people and some of the benefits, but even without this I don't feel like I can progress here, as there is a definite ceiling to the team.
I am in the process of trying to move house (which is going wrong as well), so can't really quit as I need a salary for the mortgage, let alone my current mortgage on my flat. | As it seems I a pretty much buggered for 1-2 years, should I quit? Or wait to be fired? Do I try for another role with a different employer? Should I take a pay cut and go for a less stressful job? |
t3_1puh7b | dating_advice | Awkward situation. | To start off with I'm a terrible story teller but here we go. Alright, so I've known this girl for the past few months, we are just friends and I never really put anymore thought into it there was a real attraction I thought she was kinda cute, but This Friday that just past me and my friends threw a Halloween party. Everything is going smoothly, everyone is having a good time. So a few drinks later and a few hours have passed. This part of the story gets unclear due to the drinks, but we start hooking up in a drunkenly horny mess, it's not really a big deal we ended up spending the night together. After everyone eventually everyone woke up we and went out to breakfast, after everyone was leaving she came up to me and told me that she had a fun time, and she had a crush on me, and that a should text her. I don't want her to think that I'm an ass and that I just used her. I was wondering how long I should wait to text her. | Went to a party, got drunk, hooked up with a girl I recently became friends with, I don't want to make it awkward because I will she her pretty often, when should I text her? |
t3_2dia4b | relationships | Me [M20] and a local girl [F17] have fallen for each other online. For obvious reasons, I'm feeling pretty conflicted and afraid about it... | To start of, I feel cursed. I've fallen for a incredible girl who's head over heels for me, but she's underage in my state making my feelings about it a real conflict. She's also the first girl that I can say is my girlfriend, so it kind of a big deal for me. I feel like I have to keep it a secret in order for us to be together and I hate keeping something this big a secret. I live with some family, making my life hard to keep a total secret.
We met through a post on Whisper, and over time we got closer and closer, to moving from the app to phone calls and Skype chats, to us falling for each other and wanting to be together.
After talking and being "together" for about a month (due our conflicting schedules), we're having our first date this coming weekend, and I'm excised to finally meet her in the flesh. But sadly, my guilt to my family is on my chest.
My family are very aware that I've been lonely and longing for a girlfriend for years, and whenever I would visit my parents (I currently live with my grandparents), its one of the first things they ask about. With that in mind, I feel awful having to hide the fact that I've found a girl that likes me, something they would love to hear if it wasn't legally questionable. I'm sure they'll disapprove of it, or worse, force us to break up. I'm thinking of telling my grandpa about it, seeing he's far less judging and uptight like my parents. He's been supportive in rough times like these, so hopefully he wont freak out too much. | Feeling guilty about keeping my non sexual relationship with a 17 y/o girl a secret. Should I let my family know about us? |
t3_x9na1 | personalfinance | Preparing for the possibility of being laid off. | Well, the title says it. In the next 3-6 months my little work group is going to see some hard ships. Out of the 5 people i work with (including me) 1 person will be getting the boot in about 3 months (we don't know who yet). In around 6 months there is a chance for additional deeper cuts (i dont know how you do "deep cuts" to 4 people). I have been working there for about a 1/2 a year and i am the newest employee out of the 5 by atleast a decade. I hope i will be able to stick around, i truly enjoy my job, but i always live by the rule,"hope for the best and plan for the worst".
I am looking for some advice on how to plan for potential unemployment. The job market in my field is about to be hit hard so im not sure how long itll take me to find a new job if i lose this one. I have no debts and 9 months of money in the bank because i WAS saving for a car. What can I do? Should I reduce my retirement contribution for the time being to increase my savings? Any advice would help | lay offs are 3 and 6 months out. what can i do to prepare for the worst? |
t3_1k5mah | relationships | my 18y.o. boyfriend won't compliment me (15/f) anymore. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over four months now.
The first 3 and a half months of our relationship, things were perfect. He complimented me all the time, especially when I wasn't wearing make up, and we had pretty much no issues.
Then, around the 3 and a half month mark, we got into a huge fight because one of his best friends was rude to me. I tried to politely say I didn't want to be around the friend, and my boyfriend made it a huge deal. We tried to fix things, but we ended up breaking up.
The next 2 weeks after that, we tried to work things out because we care about each other and wanted to see each other happy.
We finally got back together, about a week and a half ago. Since then, everything's been great. He's been attentive, there for me, says he loves me, etc. The only thing he won't do is compliment me. He's only done so twice, once because I reminded him of that, and the other time because I was crying and it was his fault (he pinned me down and wouldn't let me up {he was being playful not like actually hurting me}, which reminded me of being molested and caused anxiety). He says he's just not in the mood to be sweet, which makes me think he's not in love with me. He insists he is, and I believe him.
So what do I do to get him to compliment me again? | how do I get my boyfriend to compliment me again? he won't anymore. |
t3_1cidqz | dating_advice | She told our parents that we're having sex, but they're cool with it? | inb4 yes I am a teenager (17), I guess that makes this post suddenly less creditable, but I'll post it anyway. Should be a fun read
Side note if you could read this as a socially awesome penguin kind of thing, that'd be great.
My girlfriend (16) has the absolute worst poker face ever, she absolutely cannot lie to her parents without them seeing right through it. Now we, coming from an incredibly southern religious background, have always been taught that sex is a serious "y'all fuggers are gone' strate ta fuggin hayul" sin, so we have been desperately been trying to keep it on the DL. Having to be incredibly covert about getting any contraception, sneaking out, the whole thing.
Today her dad asked her "Do you want birth control?" and she immediately freaked the fuck out. He knew instantly. BUT, he chased it with "neither your mom or I were virgins at marriage, and I don't want you on mtv, we'll get you an appointment."
So then her parents knew, and they told my parents. I was expecting to get sent to boarding school but they also told me the same thing.
I honestly just have no fucking idea what to do next, Im so damn confused | She told her parents we were fucking |
t3_1qe5so | relationships | Can love trump all practical differences between two people? [me:27/m] | Hi everyone,
The title kind of says it all in so many words but I am at a crossroads in looking to the future with my S.O. [25/F] who I've been dating for roughly 7 months. This is the first serious relationship of my life that I've felt truly good about. We enjoy spending time with each other, make each other laugh, are there for each other in every way and are sexually compatible. We are, in a nutshell, very much in love. She's met my family and I made plans to meet her's around the holidays.
However, there are some major differences and practical problems between us. In order of least to most potential pitfalls:
1) I'm allergic to her cats. It's not a big deal unless I stay over a few nights in a row, then I'm sneezing and scratching my throat. I wouldn't think about telling her to get rid of her cats, but how could we ever live together? I haven't broached that subject I guess because I'm bashful of expressing that I'm thinking about that next step already.
2) She has a significant amount of student loan debt, but is kind of spendy even with that dragging on her. She enjoys the fine things in life, I'm more of an ascetic. She has a good job and seems to manage fine and I don't judge what she does with her money but I'm definitely more of a saver. When we go out we generally split things 70/30, e.g. I'll get the nice dinner and she'll get the movie tickets.
3) Kids - she probably cannot have children because of health concerns, and it's not entirely clear but I don't think she wants kids. I've never asked her how she'd feel about adoption or a surrogate. I don't know if I want kids either, but I feel like I could in 5+ years... I have no idea. Is it wrong to not talk about this since I haven't figured it out for myself, even though she has been upfront with me? | love my girlfriend immensely, how do i deal with cats, money, and kids issues? |
t3_54uft5 | relationships | Me [23F] with my partner [24M] duration 9 months, compatible until it comes to being romantic... | My partner and I have been together for about 9 months now. We are pretty much linked up when it comes to what we want out of our future: we are willing to work to live in the same location, we both want a family, we work together really well on tasks and projects, we have similar interests with enough differences to be able to occupy alone time or time separately.
I feel very connected to him on an emotional level, an intellectual level, and I am very much in love with him. However, we just don't exactly sync romantically or sexually.
We are totally different in these regards, I love having sex. All kinds of sex: missionary, kinky, bondage, anal, public, etc. I'm super flirty and open about sex and I am looking forward to growing in my life sexually with someone. He on the other hand doesn't really care about sex. It's just kind of a take it or leave it thing for him and he doesn't ever seem too excited about it.
[In the moment sex is fine (me on top, no oral, barely any foreplay), but every single part of the day has to have been perfect building up to it for it to even be a possibility to happen - even then it's unlikely.]
I feel like we are so close to having a really great relationship, but I am so unfulfilled romantically. There is no flirting, foreplay, or build up. I feel awful for wanting to leave because of sex, but I feel so empty and unloved... | It's such a complex situation, I feel like I've tried to summarize to the bare minimum of what is going on, but we just aren't compatible in this one aspect (romance/sex). Has anyone else been through this and how did you handle it? |
t3_558ixq | relationship_advice | My friend [17M] and I [17M] playfully (?) flirt. Is this normal? | Let me preface by reiterating that both of us are male. I am gay (but pretty deep in the closet). I'm unsure of what my friend, let's call him Alex, is, but from what I've seen so far, he doesn't seem very interested in girls (or guys either).
We both go to the same university, and he's been my closest friend here so far, though we met during the summer.
In texts and snaps, we often send messages that'd look weird, like variations of "i love you" or "<33333". I even jokingly said that he was my best friend on snapchat (because I am not an avid snapchat user), and he said that he'd try to get me to be his (for that heart emoji haha).
Normally, I wouldn't see anything weird about that (I've had a similar, but much milder, experience with a high school friend. I'm also probably the most oblivious person ever, but that's besides the point), but I was texting Alex, when another one of my friends (who I actually came out to as an experiment) peeped over my shoulder and saw some of the hearts in the texts and instantly got the wrong idea. She ran back to a different room (presumably to tell her friend).
Needless to say, my first instinct was to try to clear it up, but on the way, we bumped into her friend, who apparently had apparently also independently come to the conclusion that I was dating Alex (and she didn't know my sexual preferences, nor did she see the texts).
Can I get an outsider perspective on this? Could it be possible that Alex is hinting at potentially being open to something more, or do we just have a really good friendship? | I'm close friends with another guy and other people seem to think that we're dating. |
t3_tlpk3 | AskReddit | What is the craziest thing you have seen your grandparents do? | yesterday my family went out to BJs brewhouse to celebrate my little cousins first communion mind you at this time the Laker vs Nuggets game was just about to begin and we had been waiting for a large table to become available. The party was dragging there feet on leaving and we had been waiting over 2 hours to be seated so my grandma thus took it upon herself to resolve the situation at which point she picked up a table salt shaker put a healthy amount in her hands walked behind the table were the group was sitting and repeatedly threw salt on them. The reason she gave for such actions were as follows......it makes them leave faster! | we were waiting hella long for a table grandma threw salt at them to leave faster |
t3_1nbtpb | relationships | Me [24M] asking her [29F] on first date, simple question about how to ask her out | * | Have a girl's number, told her I would text her but I usually call on first dates. Should I text or call, and what should I say? |
t3_54a3js | personalfinance | I just inherited $70,000 and don't know anything about money. Can I have the starter pack? | Hi everyone. New here.
An inheritance matter just cleared and we got the wire transfer two days ago. Now I suddenly have more money than I know what to do with, quite literally. $70k doesn't make me a rich person, but I've never had this much money, and I actually have to start planning to use it in wise ways now.
Me: I'm mid-20s, single but getting married next year, no kids, and in grad school, going to go to doctoral school in the next few years. Live in apartment. I have no student loans, but a $6k car loan. No significant credit card debt, no other debt. I make enough to get by without incurring debt if I spend carefully but I don't have much in the bank (well, I didn't before this) and I'm very bad at following a budget.
I know the very basics, like I need an emergency fund, retirement fund, maybe invest in stocks and put some in a CD, but beyond those categories I'm lost. | I need some basic financial planning info and resources so I maximize my dough's ability to make dough while I'm not using it and don't squander it. |
t3_19rif2 | relationships | One of my room mates(m24) has basically kicked out another(m24) over a silly feud involving a girl. I feel disrespected without having a say in the matter. | Long story short. Room mate 1 we'll call Bill, room mate 2 we can call Jack. Bill dated a girl way back when, from what I've heard "through the grapevine" he cheated on her and they broke up. This was about a year ago. This girl (we'll name her Lisa) is involved with Bill and Jack's social circle, so she was around from time and time. Recently Jack has fallen for her, and they've started dating. Bill originally gave Jack and Lisa the a-ok to start dating, but recently had some kind of change of heart and told Jack he couldn't "live with their relationship" so Jack is now planning to move out of our shared house.
Now all the girl drama aside (and there isn't much, in my opinion- Lisa and jack are a solid couple, Bill needs to get over it) I am pissed that Bill took it upon himself to ask/force our other room mate out of the house. I get along great with both of them most of the time and I really like our living situation as it is now. I only recently became aware that Jack would be moving out (probably this month) and I don't know how, or if it is even appropriate, to voice my opinions about it to Bill. at this point I am sure there isn't much I could do to change it, Jack is angry and probably *wants* to leave now. I'm just really pissed about these sort of big home-life altering decisions being made without Bill consulting me. | One of my room mates basically is forcing another to move out over a petty issue. I feel walked over because it is my house too, and this room mate is causing a huge upheaval and change by kicking out this other room mate without consulting me AT ALL. I am angry but don't know how to broach the subject or if it is even appropriate at this point. |
t3_1l5mkc | relationships | Me[20/F] feeling guilty about my best friend [20/M] after I started dating another guy [24/M]. | I've known my best friend for many years and he has always had a crush on me. I never liked him in that way, but he was always there for me and was my best friend.He was a bit pushy about wanting a relationship,but I guess that was my fault because I relied on him so much, so I thought those feelings he had would go away.
A few months ago I met a guy online and we really hit it off, so we ended up dating each other. It's a long distance relationship, but my best friend found out and he was devastated. I felt bad for him at first, but I thought for sure he would get over it. I talked to him, but I guess I was a little harsh/bitchy and I told him he would never have a chance with me. It damaged communication with us, but he tried his best to keep things as it was, he even told me he was "happy for me and hoped that this new guy treats me right". I was happy to hear it, but I honestly feel extremely guilty about my best friend.
I talked with some of his friends and they told me he is honestly depressed about it, but he doesn't want to say anything and that his grades have plummeted to a point where he got kicked out of his university. He's now attending another school luckily and he still treats me as just his best friend still, granted I can tell he spaces himself from me more now and I understand.
I know of my best friend's dark past, a lot of emotional scars from friends, family, and other girls in his life. So I do have some sympathy for him. But I'm now wondering why I feel so guilty dating another person? Even though my best friend wished the best for me and seems okay. I have even stopped talking to my boyfriend in order to figure this out. | Best friend of a long time liked me, I never liked him. I started dating another guy, but feel guilty and cannot shake this feeling despite my best friend still acting the same/treating me as a friend still. |
t3_gnot1 | AskReddit | Two douchebags have been pissing me off lately... How can I slowly get my revenge? | Throwaway account, because they know my alias...
Anyway, I'm in high school (10th grade) and I have these two "friends" (actually one of them is a nice guy, he's just being a real piss-off) who have been doing stuff like jacking my food, throwing my shit, etc. They've been doing this for a few weeks.
Now I'm a pretty big guy, 5'11 and 155lbs, but I don't want to do anything violent or aggressive (it's not my style :P). These first victim, Douche, is about the same as me, but he's got ze muscles and can probably beat me up. The other kid, Dick, is short, annoying; basically a douchebag. He's the 9 year old kid you find in COD calling everyone a faggot and being an asshole.
He's some information regarding me and them:
* They share the same locker; they do not have a lock. (Mine does have one)
* They are both in the same class, but not in mine. However my class is next to theirs.
* They know I'm planning something, as I have been starting to do shit to them.
* We eat at the same table at lunch.
* I can enter and leave their class without much notice; no one really gives a shit.
So anyway, hit me up with ideas, Reddit! :P | Two guys have been pissing me off for a few weeks; give me an idea to get my revenge on them. |
t3_1u1s5r | relationship_advice | Girlfriend (26/f) and I (26/m) disagree on sex. Not sure if this is worth ending relationship over. | My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. Throughout that we've broken up a few times, for a month or two at a time, but always end up back together.
Things have been stable now for quite a while and we've been doing well. Aside from sex. Previously, every girl I've dated has wanted it as often as myself or more (roughly every other day at the very least). She has no libido. She enjoys it when it happens but thinks I should be happy with once a week or less. She compares it to her friends and says all her female friends want it the same amount and that I'm unreasonable. Then usually starts a fight between us because I'm in a bad mood after getting turned down or she's in a bad mood that I'm upset and want it too much.
When we DO have sex, I usually feel like she's lazy about it. I do the work, then once she gets off she wants me to do what I need to do to finish.
My question is, should this be a deal breaker? Should I just settle for what she wants, or she she be catering more to my needs? I know sex is a big factor when it comes to a lot of divorces these days. I'm not sure I should be sacrificing my desires for the rest of my life, but I also don't want her feeling obligated.
On top of that, we've talked about moving in together come March. I'm wary of it because of the fights over sex. I stay with her at her place a couple nights a week and it comes up fairly often. I can only imagine what a problem it'll be when we're together non-stop. | I want sex. Girlfriend doesn't. When we do it's not the best. Should it be a deal breaking issue? Do I need to just suck it up and accept the amount of sex I get? |
t3_31o8kj | tifu | TIFU by giving my number to the cashier at Wendy's. | Today, after class, I went to Wendy's. There was this really cute girl taking orders, and I figured I would try something I thought of a long time ago.
I had this idea that I should order food, write down my number on the receipt, and before I leave, go to talk to the cashier and say "Hey, sorry, but I think there's something wrong on the receipt.", hand it to her and point at my number, then just walk off. Today, I decided to grow a pair and do it.
I did it, and it felt good; it was the first time in a while I've done something like this. I was so happy I told my mother about it because I'm lame. It wasn't until a little bit into my conversation with her that I realized something... it's high school spring break.
My 20th birthday is this week, and for all I know, this girl could have been 15 or 16. I looked her up on facebook and found her; she's a sophomore in high school.
It doesn't help that I'm majoring in education; I feel like such a pervert now.
Now I'm just waiting to see if she actually texts me or not. Hopefully not, and hopefully she doesn't find out who I am. | Gave my number to an underage girl unknowingly. Now I feel like a pervert. |
t3_1dpudo | relationships | [18m] got cheated on by [18f] and I need a boatload of advice | -Moved to College with a girl from my hometown
-Great relationship, great sex, great fun, smiles and parties
-She started to talk behind my back with a kid from hometown
-I called her out, she apologizes etc
-She Cheats with him one weekend breaks up with me
-She cries and regrets and apologizes
-I take her back
-She cheats again same kid
-I break up with her.
I feel like shit. Super lonely. It's been a few months and I'm back home. We live close. Everything I do reminds me of her, everything i own and listen to reminds me of her. Definitely not wanting to get back with her, but I am jealous because she will be starting a relationship with this other guy pretty soon. | I need help from others who have cheated |
t3_4zpgm5 | relationships | Me [28M] feeling numb: unsure how to deal with girlfriend's [26F] deception | My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year and a half, living together for the last few months. She has a guy friend [28M] that she met on Tinder before we started dating that we'd hang out with occasionally. She's heavily implied (if not said outright) that nothing ever happened between them - they weren't really compatible as a couple, just good friends. I've been suspicious, but I trust her, and she's never given me any reason to be suspicious of infidelity.
Fast forward to last night - aforementioned guy friend is leaving the country for another job, so we go and hang out with him. A few drinks later, my girlfriend tells me they did hookup once, before she knew me. But after that one time, they remained platonic friends.
I don't know how to react. When she told me, I didn't get upset, but I don't know what to do or think or say. She'd been purposefully deceptive about her and the friend's history. We left shortly after, and on the car ride back, she was saying she didn't want to tell me because she wanted us to all be friends and the like, and that it really only was that one time.
Reddit, I don't know how to respond to this situation. I woke up this morning feeling disconnected, and am now at work trying to keep myself busy.
What do I do?
_______________ | Girlfriend did in fact hookup with her guy friend before we met, but had always implied otherwise |
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