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t3_37qbqb | relationships | I [28M] was referred to date a colleague [25F], but I'm not interested. How do I let her know without it backfiring? | A few months back a few colleagues asked me to "hangout" after work, but this hangout was actually a match making date they had planned without asking me. I was "matched" with Jane. I met Jane and I did not find her attractive so I wasn't interested. I told one of the colleagues I wasn't interested, but she recommended to keep hanging out with Jane and you never know what feelings develop.
I went out a few more times with Jane in a group setting and 1on1 and there is definitely no physical attraction. However, our colleagues are gossiping like crazy that we are dating or a couple. Jane is texting me every day asking me to hangout and that she wants to spend more time with me. Jane is inviting me to her graduation where I'm the only friend she's inviting.
I've never talked to Jane about dating. Jane is moving back home at the end of June, which is 3 hours away. My plan was to wait until June and just let the problem solve itself. Is this the right course of action? | Referred to date a colleague, but I'm not interested. I'm not sure how to let her down without hurting the work environment. She moves 3 hours away at the end of June. |
t3_3la9he | askwomenadvice | Asked a girl for her name, shyness drowned out her answer. | She (24?) has been coming in to my small restaurant for a year or so. She wears glasses; which is a turn on. I (31) also like how she occupies herself during her meal - If she's reading a funny book (the books are all mine, which i leave on a shelf for the customers) she'll laugh out loud.
I have been single for 4 months. I started smiling and talking a little more to her. 2 weeks ago she handed me a credit card and I said "It's funny you should hand me this, I was just about to ask you what your name is." That is when a tsunami of shyness started rolling in. Things started to get a little blurry. She answered "that's my sisters card, her name is Sarah*". I barely got my name out along with "we always say hi and smile at each other so..."before saying some silly things that made me more self-conscious. I figuratively collapsed in shyness. Her sister walks in, and at that point there is no chance of recovery (2 people is overwhelming). I hand her her meals to go, she says "thanks Shawn". I don't say anything. She's walking out the door, "bye Shawn". Nothing from me. I was too shy and I hadn't caught her name. How do I handle it next time she comes in? | Asked her for her name, didn't quite catch it. May have come off rude, shyness is my excuse. |
t3_w492d | relationship_advice | I [19/m] am too attached to my [20/f] girlfriend. | We have been dating for 2 years and were talking on the phone the other night and she told me that I don't give her enough space to be her own self outside of our relationship. I usually text/call her a fair amount because I am working in a different city than I usually live for the summer. Because of this I don't have any friends in the area and feel lonely sometimes. I see her pretty frequently on the weekends so long distance isn't the issue. I know that I give her too much attention and feel like if it continues it will drive her away.
I think that part of the problem is that she has been hanging out with a guy friend of hers a lot over the summer and I've been getting jealous for no reason at all. I'm friends with him too and she has assured me that they are entirely platonic (which I believe), but I somehow manage to make myself jealous regardless of this fact.
Needless to say if I continue smothering her I will ruin our relationship, I've tried picking up hobbies and occupying my time; however, she always seems to be on my mind. I want to be someone outside of our relationship, and I know she does too.
Right now she is gone in Haiti for 10 days so I have been using it as a sort of exercise to get myself worrying and thinking about her less. Little progress has yet to have been made. I know I shouldn't need to talk to her all the time, that's just not healthy. Any advice? | I am too attached to my girlfriend and need to give her more of her own space, but i'm struggling with it. |
t3_2stjen | relationships | I [24F] desperately need to stop being hung up on this guy [25M]. | Long story short: I met a very long-time internet friend for the first time while away on business this summer. Things went really, really, really well. So well, in fact, that we talked very seriously about making it into something real. Eventually, we reluctantly decided it wasn't the best idea to pursue that.
And it really sucked for a few days. And then a few weeks. And then a few months. And while it has gotten less acutely painful, I still spend way too much time thinking about him and the situation.
We've barely communicated at all since things fell through. I'm keeping as busy as I can with life. I try to spend time with friends and I'm dating someone new now. And yet, he still occupies an unhealthy number of my mental cycles.
I figured time would make things better, but it certainly hasn't so far. I don't really know what else to do. As much as I'd love to be around this person, I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way if that scenario is not a possibility. | I'm hopelessly hung up on this guy. What can I do to change that beyond what I've already tried? |
t3_2b9lag | tifu | TIFU Crashed grandfather's new car into garage | This happened a few years ago.
My grandparents have a country house and my brothers and I go up there all the time. My grandpa had been teaching me to drive for a few years (I am 12 at this point) and had just bought a new car, (expensive Audi) so just like every time we go up there, my grandpa and I go driving. We go around the country roads to a park where we walk around for a bit and my shoes get soaked because it had been raining,
We get back into the car and drive home but my feet are slipping on the pedals a bit because they are wet so I am driving very cautiously home. When we get to the driveway my very young cousins come over to the car to say hello(I hadn't seen them for about 6 months) after I have said hello I get back into the car to drive the remaining five metres into the garage.
I forgot about by wet shoes and when I put on the brake, my foot slips off the brake and onto the accelerator, I crash into one of the poles supporting the garage. The pole was hugely bent but luckily the garage roof didn't cave in and
the car. If the pole had broken the car would have shot off the edge of the hill and down a 30 metre drop into a gully and we probably would have died.
It cost about $4000 to fix the car and the house. | Crashed Grandfather's new Audi into garage and nearly drove off a 30 metre drop. |
t3_3sbng5 | relationships | I[M18] met a girl[F18] at a party while drunk, should I try to pursue her while sober? | I am an 18 year old guy that goes to a state university. I'm not really someone who is confident, and I don't really feel comfortable chasing girls. I recently went to a party for my fraternity, where I met this girl that I really like. We started to drink alcohol and we got to know each other a little bit. We held hands, shared food and drinks, I even kissed the top of her head.
I added her on FaceBook and she accepted it two days later. We have a couple of classes together, and I want to try to ask her to study next week for an upcoming exam. I am kind of socially awkward when it comes to dating, and I am nervous to try to make contact with her outside of the party.
I really like her, so I would really appreciate any advice that you guys can give me. | Got drunk at a party, met a girl I really like. Should I pursue her? |
t3_3526x8 | relationships | Me [23 F] so confused by my ex [23 M] and his up and downess | To make a long story short, he dumped me. We tried resolving things but ultimately he found someone else and said he see's me as a friend. That hurt, I moved on with time and becoming my own person.
Now, he's texting me and says that he misses me. Yes, I'm assuming that this girl he "had strong feelings for" has now not worked out. He makes no sense, how does one have "friend" feelings and then suddenly want me back again? I did recently lose 20 pounds (I gained 20 pounds in our relationship and am now back to what I was when we met).
We dated for 5 years and we've been broke up for 8 months.
How can I reply to him in a mature way and say "hell no, I'm not second place, you had your chance...bye."
I want him out of my hair and don't want to be sucked back into an emotional mess. This is honestly the first month I haven't broken down and cried and I don't want to fall for him again. | Ex misses me. How can I get him far far away from me? |
t3_3u012q | relationships | I [26 M] would rather eat alone with my wife [25 F] and daughter [3 F] than go see my extended family for Thanksgiving. | So, not that **huge** of an issue, but one that I feel kinda bad about.
I have big anxiety issues with crowds. Especially my extended family. They are your typical family, kind-of supportive, and overall nice to your face. Its not their individual personalities that make me not want to go, its just that I feel anxious about being around all of them. Nervous maybe?
My wife (together for 6 years now and expecting another baby) is supportive of my feelings and she believes we can choose to do what we want. Hell she just wanted to eat some indian food for Thanksgiving. I agree with my wife but I would feel bad leaving my daughter out of the overall extended family picture just because I'm not "feeling good" about going.
As of now we are still going but we do have the chance to not go.
Hell, I'm not even sure this is the right place to put this. | I want to stay at home or go out with my wife and daughter rather than see my extended family. Should I feel bad? Am I overanalyzing the whole situation? |
t3_54zjpq | relationships | Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] three years, found a photo on is phone | I like to read this r/relationships often and never really thought I would be posting here but I found myself in a weird situation.
I love my boyfriend and he is perfect for me. We can talk non stop and make each other completely happy. There isn't a single thing I would change about our relationship. I am not working right now but am looking for a job, and he has been nothing but helpful and generous while I search. This is my first time without a job in years and isn't an issue in our relationship. So whenever he isn't working he comes home and spends time with me.
So the problem. He has a terrible broken phone that is very old and the glass is shattered. It freezes all the time and has lots of issues but he is waiting to get a new one. So I was on his phone and I saw a photo of another woman's privates. Her hand was in it, very sexual photo. So I ask him 'What is this about?'. He told me it must be an old photo that his phone brought back. The image said screen shot so it was a screen shot he had taken it at some point.
I know it wasn't on his phone a few days ago. He told me it must have been an old photo that his phone brought back because it is broken. I get it is messed up but I've never heard of that happening. He told me it has happened before with his phone, bringing back old photos and part of why he wants a new one.
I trust this man completely and he has shown no interest in other women since being with me. He and I had gotten back together about several months ago because we living too far apart. Now that we are within range of one another things are great. So he had photos from months ago that were once on his phone.
Am I being too trusting? I don't believe he would talk to anyone else and loves me completely. Yet this seems so unrealistic a reason. | found a photos on his phone that wasn't there before of a womans privates. He said it is his broken phone putting it back. Is that impossible? |
t3_perzg | relationships | GF troubles/demands that I think are completely ridiculous and unreasonable. | So Reddit... I normally am not a fan of airing out stuff like this but its gotten beyond frustrating. I need to know if its reasonable for a gf who I've been dating for 7 months now to rip up a 70$ jersey that I scrubbed off of a lesbian female friend (who I am no longer friends with and haven't been for the last year) who went to korea to visit her dad and came back with lots of free goodies (this was right after the big AON announcing their sponsorship of ManU and her Dad worked as a VP for AON so she scored tons of free swag but wasn't a big soccer fan). It wasn't given as anything more than her having an XL jersey that she was indifferent about and me being a big ManU fan.
My gf started texting me all these insecurities just when I had left and was away from my apt (where she was staying) and because I texted back trying to rationally explain that I thought it was a ridiculous request to get rid of it and have her waste 70$ to buy me another one since she hated the idea that I "cherished" this something that wasn't given to me by her (even though I've never once talked about this friend or said "omg I love this jersey"... its always just been a piece of clothing and even then since it was an XL, I only wore it out for skiing). I explained that this was financially irresponsible and absolutely unnecessary/ridiculous...
Am I alone in thinking this way? I feel like I've lost a lot of respect and trust for her since she's done this... I don't feel safe letting her be around my things unsupervised... is this over reacting? | While away from my apt, my gf texted me telling me to get rid of a jersey I had and that she would pay to replace it. I tried to reason that this was an unreasonable waste of money and completely unnecessary. Gf tore up/got rid of free jersey out of jealousy/insecurity. It was given by a lesbian friend (who got it for free and had no interest in the sport) in the past that I stopped being friends with long before I met my gf. |
t3_2uyhbl | relationships | I [21F] just received a strange message from a guy [20'sM] I met at a party a few weeks ago. Not sure how to respond. | I'm gay and in a relationship but met this guy at a party and we had a really great chat and had a lot in common. He added me on facebook and we talked a bit, he was a bit too familiar and I pretty much avoided conversation with him then on because I felt uncomfortable.
This morning I received this message:
"What made you choose your hair style? I really like it. I really like the look you have, you have a natural feminine part and an androgynous look about you, if you know what I mean. So quite obviously female but not in your face female. Not girly girly. I dont know how that will sound but I like it a lot
"Not in your face" as in not over the top. I hope you didnt read that as "your face looks like a boy"
I should have just said "I like your hair" and left it at that haha
Also, have you ever been with a male? Im hoping this general question will spawn more than just a direct answer because Im trying to understand your sexuality, if you will allow me to be so bold as to ask about it
Its probably more something that would be better to ask in person though. Are you not going to uni at all this year? If you were we should get hot drinks some time".
Obviously this makes me rather uncomfortable, especially asking personal questions about sexuality when I barely know him. Anyway, I was thinking I'd just delete him and ignore it, but I don't think he is poorly intentioned, just socially inept, and maybe he could benefit from a bit of explanation as to why I'm deleting him. Thoughts? | Guy I just met asking intrusive questions about my sexuality - worth saying anything to him or should I just delete him? |
t3_1z1vy7 | relationships | [22m] Want to ask out [22f] but I've never been on a date and not sure what to do on one. | So I met this girl[21] in a training class at work and I've found that I really like her. We've spent some time together outside the office, though only ever in a group. She's invited me out with her friends both times and seemed legitimately excited when I accepted the invitation so I'm decently sure she's interested in spending time together. My issue at this point, is how to develop intimacy. I realize I need to ask her out one on one, but to what? What do people do for dates? I'm at a total loss and I've never done this before. I checked my cities website but didn't find anything either of us would be interested. Please help. Thanks. | met a girl I want to ask out but I've never dated before and don't know what we could even do. |
t3_4xm361 | relationships | My boyfriend [26M] is keeping me [26F] a secret from his ex [25F] | My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for about 2-3 weeks but have been seeing each other for the past 3 months. Due to unusual circumstances, he is living with his ex. They both moved to a different state together and signed a lease for a year, then they broke up after 6 months of living together at the apartment. There is only about 1 month left on the lease and she plans to move out. However, the whole time that we have been seeing each other, he has kept me a secret from her. It has been bothering me because I felt like there is no need to hide me from her but I have been understanding as he said she is crazy and since he lives with her, I didn't want anything bad to happen. They are still good friends and they hang out and go out together doing random activities. He has told me many times that they he is completely over her and she is actually moving to Germany to attend school while we are in America in a couple of months.
I told him that I feel neglected and hurt because he is hiding me from his ex but he said that he can't tell her because she will be mad. This has made me feel like he cares more about her feelings than mine. He said maintaining their friendship is important to him, which I respect but I believe that if they really are friends, they shouldn't have to hide who they are dating.
I don't know if I am being unreasonable in my request of asking him to tell her about me or if I should just trust him and let this go since she is moving away to another country forever anyways. | Boyfriend is still friends with his ex and they hang out together but he refuses to tell her that he is dating me because she will be mad and jealous. |
t3_3te7x5 | tifu | TIFU by yelling at my condo's super and a smoke detector inspector. | **As with most TIFUs, this happened a few months ago.**
Just some info before I begin: My sister has an annoying habit of knocking on the door non-stop like she's being chased by someone, or has to go to the washroom really badly, even when there's no emergency.
So, this happened in or before the summer (can't remember), and my internship had just finished, so I was either home all day, or going to work later on in the evening. That day, I was home alone, and just browsing the internet and Netflixing (no chilling), when I heard a knock on the door. I had barely stood up when I heard another loud knock, followed by another one, and another one (DJ Khaled style), and many more. I thought it was my sister knocking like a moron, so I yelled, "CALM THE HELL DOWN, DAWG! I'M COMING, MAN!" (Or something along those lines.) Then, I hear, "sorry, it's the super." Embarrassed, I open the door, and apologize profusely, explaining that I thought it was my sister, who always knocks like that. He also apologized for knocking a lot, and told me he was just here to test the smoke detectors. I think he was surprised, because we always say hello to each other, and I'm a pretty nice guy, so it may have been surprising to him to hear me yell like that. In case you're wondering, it's not awkward seeing each other, and I'm pretty sure he forgot about it. | My sister has a habit of knocking on the door non-stop. Condo's super did the same thing when coming to test smoke detectors. Thinking it was my sister, I yelled at him to stop knocking so much. |
t3_1bsm1g | relationships | Pattern of our communication isn't working. How do we fix? Me M35 Her F35 1.5yr relationship | My communication with my GF takes on a familiar pattern:
1. I open up to her about something that I'm thinking
2. She feels like I'm being judgy and critical
3. I get frustrated and try to elaborate which doesn't help matters.
4. She gets frustrated and shuts down.
5. I feel like I shouldn't open up to her anymore about anything
And on and on. Latest was she recommended that I lie to someone to protect the other person's feelings. I wondered aloud if she would ever or had ever lied to me about anything to protect MY feelings. She accused me of not trusting her. I tried to explain I trusted her and wasn't accusing her of dishonesty. It went poorly.
How can I communicate better with her? Her mother was/is very critical so she is oversensitive to being criticized and feels that way even when I'm just trying to have a discussion. | GF always feels criticized even when I'm just trying to have a discussion. How can I communicate with her about something she did or said without her feeling judged? |
t3_4dv2is | relationships | I (28f) keep getting asked out at work. Anywhere else I go I get ignored.why is that? | I've been asked out three times at this job that I've had since August of last year. The first one I dated a few months and it ended awkwardly( but rumors have it he's an awkward fellow) the second one I just talked to, but ended because our "conversations" lasted about 4/5 texts total. The third I just flat out told him I couldn't. Both guy one and guy two don't speak to me...guy one I still have problems with(my own personal problems, not him)I just don't understand why these guys have to date me, I'd rather just have friends... As far as attractiveness goes, I think I'm a 7 or 8, not super attractive, but definitely not ugly...but I tend to be really nice to people, and always put others before myself, ( which is why I'm struggling with guy one. I put what he wanted before my own. He didn't want anything serious, just fun, and to see other people. I ended it with him so I could persue guy two, who ended up not working out anyways. Guy one acted like he liked me afterwards, but never voiced his opinion, so I did nothing. )
Also, side question of little importance, guy one and I locked eyes, and he smiled sadly. I smiled the same way back. What do I do here?
Guy three was joking around and it made me blush with uncomfortableness, and when I saw him again, he asked for my #, which I politely declined, statimg that I had done the relationship thing in the workplace and it didn't work out.I honestly can't handle someone else not being able to talk to me just because I won't date them. He later said he was joking (which he seemed sincere about.)
But when I try to stimulate conversation, like today I was on the street and tried talking to this guy by stating how the weather was great today, I got completely ignored( he wasn't even on a cellphone) I honestly don't know whatiI'm doing wrong. | I have been asked out three times at work, two which didn't work out and the third I declined. Every time I go somewhere public, I get ignored, even when I'm trying to start a conversation. What could I possibly be doing differently at work as opposed to out in the public? |
t3_3w6miu | legaladvice | Lawyer says I don't need to appear in court? | I got a reckless driving by speed summons in September. This is my third ticket in 3 years (all by speeding - I suck at driving, I know), so I hired a lawyer as I've never been to court, I really don't want an inexpugnable misdemeanor on my record, and I'm nervous.
The court date was supposed to be this past week, but about 2 months ago he emailed letting me know he had to change it, as he already had a court date to attend that same day. He sent me the write-up to the court stating that we were requesting a date change. Now it's been moved to February, I think?
Here's the thing. I'm totally left out of the process. I'm not being updated on anything. We only communicate when I have a question, and even then we go weeks without emailing. When I first hired him, I sent his assistant my driving record, payment, and summons. I had to ask about the new date and what I should do to prep for court. He said, "It won't make a difference if you're there or not, so it's best that you not come." WHAT?
PLEASE HELP. I'm so new at this and just want the best possible outcome. I'd rather pay the max $2,500 fine + lawyer fee than have the misdemeanor. I haven't had any other problems with the law before (besides the 2 speeding tickets a year apart - I live in Virginia, by the way) or since. | My lawyer is saying I don't need to appear in court - but that doesn't sound right to me. Do I have a shady lawyer, or is this just the way things are done? |
t3_2ycael | tifu | TIFU by giving an assessed presentation from my laptop. | So, I might have lost a few marks (Read: all of them) on my presentation today.
I had to give a presentation about a piece of work I'm doing in front of my class, which is videoed and assessed by two of my lecturers. So, having all the relevant stuff on my laptop, I hook it up to the projector, and start giving my presentation. All is going well, and I completed the presentation without fucking up once. But then, idiocy struck.
The wallpaper on my laptop rotates every 5 minutes. Most of them are pretty cool, abstract stuff, fractals, planets, art, the usual stuff. I've got hundreds of them.
But, I had forgotten that I have one or two... offensive ones. So, when I concluded my presentation, I closed it down and asked if there were any questions. Half the class gasped, and the other half laughed. My examiners gave me a filthy look. I turned and looked at the projector image and there to greet me....
Several choice curses later, I ripped out the projector cable. I stuttered an apology to the lecturers, and asked again if there were any questions.
Their reply? 'No, London. I think you covered everything.'
There's always questions at the end. Opps... | My time browsing /r/offensive_wallpapers bit me firmly in the ass |
t3_19v4ec | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your experiences with sick family members offering you money? | Hello fellow denizens of the internet,
Just wondering what your experiences have been with ill family members offering you sizeable sums of money. My grandfather beat back stomach/lung/liver cancer last year and has been told to continue pharmaceutical treatment for the small tumour left in his stomach (alternative is a radical gastrectomy). He is obviously rather stressed and part of his mentality is "I gotta get my affairs in order", not surprising behaviour for an older individual fighting cancer.
However, recently I went to visit my grandparents and he showed worry at the validity of my university degree, choices on upcoming learning apprenticeships, my social life, finances, etc. (typical 'worried grandparent' stuff). He offered to give me a rather sizeable sum of money to help out with my education, social expenses, and whatnot.
I'm really not a material person, have little value for money, and feel uncomfortable accepting ANY money from ANYBODY. So I am what some of your experiences with such situations may have been in the past. | Grandpa with cancer offers me money that I don't feel I need, can you relate? |
t3_37zv8w | relationships | Me [24M] with my SO [21F] 2 months together, what is a normal relationship like? | Ive been in so many bad relationships that im very insecure with this girl. Bad relationships in the sense that the girls were obsesive and would leave me no space or alone time. Now im wth this girl who says she loves me but since she is not always calling me or texting me, telling me she loves me every 2-3 hours i feel like she really doesnt love me that much and this feeling is making me very insecure. I know my past relationships were bad by how they ended. Girls got too obsesive and i had no space but the constant comunication left me no doubt they loved me. What constitutes a normal relationship? How is the texting and calling between people that love each other in a normal relationship? | Had a couple of bad relationships, im now with a girl i like but not sure if this is a normal relationship or if she doesnt really loce me. What is a normal relationship? |
t3_37culd | relationships | My (19M) store manager (30F) only addresses problems through group text, the amount of texts is overwhelming, need some advice... | So right after I graduated high school I managed to snag a job at *local nationwide convenience store* and for the most part, my store manager, Karen (pseudonym), has been a mostly benign presence in the store, acting more as a friend than a leader and for the past year or so this relationship between Karen and all my coworkers and I has been fairly stable.
Only recently, like the past three weeks, Karen has taken control of the store with an iron will, hiring new people to fill much needed positions, doling out write-ups for my lazy coworkers who take hour long lunch breaks, and being a generally better manager. Now our problem is that she implemented a list with all the jobs that have to be completed on a shift to shift basis and once you complete an assignment you initial a little box next to it on the list. The list has been a pretty good indicator of who's actually doing what kinds of work and to what degree, creating a system of accountability I guess.
However, Karen takes this list **very** seriously, and has been hounding people for uncompleted or mismanaged tasks. She's addressing these problems in a very uhhh, unorthodox way, and instead of singling out individuals and talking to them in the store or giving them a call, she sends a group text message to all my coworkers and I. Most of the time these messages are really directed at one or two people, but she feels the need to tell **everybody** that someone left an unwashed pizza tray in the back room sink or that the person who accepted the deliveries from the night before forgot to put them away.
Accounting for the past three weeks, Karen has sent over **fifty** of these group messages, many of them have accompanying photos of the problems, which takes a fair chunk out of my monthly one gig of data.
Morale is down big time in the store because almost all of these messages are just about problems and they come on a constant basis. She even sends them to people on our days off and at times when a lot of us are sleeping. Is there any way we should approach Karen to tell her that the content and amount of texts she sends is excessive? | Boss person is sending a flood of group texts that are aimed at one or two people, how do we tell her to slow her rolls? |
t3_2yipro | relationships | The woes of College, Moving out, and transfering to a University. Please help, advice wanted. | Fall 2015 will mark my transition from a 3 year attendence at a Community College to a 4 Year University. I live 30-45 minutes away from the University which makes the possibility to communte possible. The appeal of saving money (and having better food) is entising, but living at home is begining to cause strife in my relationship with my parents.
For some background: I've recently turned 21, I have maintained a 3.5 GPA, and I really have no interest in parties and no interest in drugs. For the past 3 years I have had a 11 P.M. curfew, forced to attend church on Sundays (Been threated to move out if I don't attend), and are upset by me not sharing my personal life/daily experience. My parents are very restrictive, and although it was beneficial during my adolescnets, now its really "Cramping my style" So to speak.
If I did choose to commute it would save me alot of strife by not having to get new jobs / spending money, but I would want the freedom to take weekend trips at will (Without permission) or to stay at others houses (Without permssion) or to not be forced to go to church. For those of you who have been in a similar situation or just could provide advice does it sounds reasonable for me to ask these things if I were to live at home? What is the best way to start a dialog about these requests?
And if my parents refuse to change their ways, is living off campus really worth the expenses in order to gain some personal freedoms/ alleviating the strain of commuting everyday.
Thanks in advance guys. | Living at home with parents is causing frustation, but is it worth it in order to save money by not commuting to school. |
t3_4irlvm | relationships | My [19F] ex-boyfriend's [19M] brother [18M] keeps trying to make a move on me. | Throwaway because both of the people in this post use Reddit.
My ex (let's call him Mark) and I have been friends for about 6 years now. We started out as close friends, dated each other for a year, and we're still close despite everything that's happened, so there are no problems between us.
His younger brother (who we'll call Alex), however, has never taken any liking to me, especially when we first met. I tried being nice to him but that didn't seem to work, so I just gave up. Whenever I went to their house I'd remind myself that I wasn't there to hang out with him.
I have no idea what's caused this, but these past few months Alex has completely changed. He stopped making fun of me and insulting me, which progressed into him getting uncomfortably close to me while I was at their house and Mark was in a different room. A few days ago he started sending me texts saying things like, "mark isn't here, want me to show you a fun time? ;)"
I haven't told Mark yet but I plan to very soon. I want to tell him when his brother isn't home so they don't end up doing anything physical, and their relationship already isn't so great. I haven't told their parents either, because they favor Alex over Mark and they'd probably just side with Alex on this. I don't know how to solve this without being blamed for potentially "breaking" their family. | ex's little brother is getting too close for comfort and I don't know how to tell him without everything getting horribly violent. |
t3_ok1zk | running | Ankle pain. Is it a sprain or just some pain? | On W5D3 of the C25K program I developed some ankle pain near the end of the run. I really didn't worry too much because I'm so out of shape, I've had all sorts of pains since I started running. This won't go away. I've done as much RICE as I can, stretch a bit before and after I run. Took 2 days off between runs, but it's really sore. I hate to take too much time off as I am afraid of sliding back to my old ways.
Anyway, here is a [image] with some info about where the pain is. The entire area is sore, like someone hit me with something and there is some slight swelling. Is it a sprain and rest or do I need to just run through it like the other aches and pains I've had? | ankle hurts cant' decide if i should rest or run |
t3_18xnp3 | legaladvice | Birthday party, underage drinking, fractured jaw... | I'm a student at a university in Seattle and recently celebrated my 20th birthday. As my roommates and I live on Greek row, it's not that uncommon for random frat boys to try to drop in when we throw parties. This past weekend, however, we had a group come in, steal our alcohol, and when kicked out, smashed a bottle threw my bedroom window. I was outside for all of this, and wasn't aware of it until after the fact. My understanding is my roommate followed the frat guy who did it, and after confronting the guy, was punched in the face. He's been to the doctor and needs surgery. We're not concerned about the window; our landlord said she would take care of it. So our only problem is my roommate's medical expenses. The issue is we're all under 21, and legally, the whole party should never have been taking place (damn America's backwards liquor laws...). I was just curious how a situation like this would pan out, if my roommate presses charges. | Frat guy crashes party, gets upset when we kick him out, breaks window/punches roommate, whole situation involves underage drinking. |
t3_2kz8j0 | relationships | Me [24M] with my GF [23F] of half year. Is she trying to break up with me? | Hi /r/Relationships!
So I'm together with my girlfriend for the past 6 months. Before we got together, we knew I had to leave for half a year about 1200 miles away. We visit each other once a month for a week.To the long distance should come to an end in a couple of months, since I will be able to move closer to her, where it's just a driving-distance away, and should atleast be able to visit her every weekend.
Today she started to talk about how we have nothing in common together, that we are so different.. kind of jokingly. My take on it was that it makes our relationship so interesting, but not on the long run according to her.
Then I felt as if something more was going on as afterwards she said that her friends see their boyfriend more regularly and we just see each other not so often (as soon as she realized that actually very few couples have things in common). And a few other instances where she told me that she got a fortune, that she will meet me, but it won't last and she will marry someone else, which is also more of a joke, or a mutual friend who told her that he misses her.
But it doesn't add up, since I just got introduced to her entire family and all of her close friends, and we typically joke around like this and don't mean it literally (since today, I'm questioning it..)
So, I will ask her if she's trying to say that our relationship is not working out for her, but I want to ask your perspective on things. If she does want to break up, atleast we're not wasting each others time anymore, and even though it sucks, I'll accept it. I don't have a really nice past with girls where I've been ridiculed and lied to, so I'm quite vulnerable to these suspicions and I don't want to have my perspective on this altered by my past experiences. | GF says we are so different, have nothing in common, and also started about the whole "my friends see their BF's more regularly and we just once a month" thing. I get suspicious that she's trying to break up with me. What is your perspective on this? Do you also have things in common or things like this going on? How is it working out, or did? |
t3_1krxqq | relationships | I [M/18] screwed up at a party with crush [F/20]. | So I went to a party and got really drunk, I regret a lot of it, still feel super shitty about what I did.
Anyway, from what I remember and what I've been told is that I followed her around a lot and tried/did hug and touch her a lot (nowhere inappropriate though). I told at least 3 of my friends that night that I liked her and I gathered she would've known after that.
Sent a message on Monday, 2 days after the party and what she sent back: [Message]
We were already pretty good friends and I probably sound like the biggest asshole but do you think we can ever be any more than friends, she didn't directly address the whole I "like" you thing.
Would it be wise to set up something one-on-one to just talk? | Got drunk, got a bit clingy with crush, she knows I like her(didn't address it), she forgives me for what I did, any chance we can be more than friends. |
t3_3hc58u | relationships | Caught my [29M] wife [31F] texting a strange man. | Hi reddit, on Saturday I was out getting drinks with my wife. We've been married for 5 years now. We were looking at her phone reading some text messages from mutual friends when a text from a man popped up. It was just the notification, but I thought it was strange that she didn't even pull up her text messages to read it. Instead, she simply left the text notifications as unread. I also thought it was strange because I'd never heard of this guy. (She never mentioned him to me and we have no mutual friends according to Facebook.) He also lives across the country. Against my better judgement I took a look at her phone.The messages were nothing nefarious, but there was a winky face and evidently he's successful. It's just strange that I have no idea who this person is, how she knows him, why she would be in contact with someone and never mention him. Now I'm driving myself crazy wondering whether I should ask her about it or not. I'm concerned she'll take it as a lack of trust on my part, which it certainly could be.
Should I ask her about this, or simply trust my wife and let it go? | Caught my wife texting a strange man, she seemingly didn't want to respond to him in front of me, not sure what to do about it. |
t3_32niia | relationships | I've [18F] been seeing someone [19M] for a few months now. How soon is too soon for... everything? What's acceptable? | Note: Long time lurker here. I've aspergers, so I'm "socially blind", I don't know the norms, terms or rules in anything in the social things.
I've been in only one "real" relationship in my life. It was a long-distant relationship (around 200 kilometers distance) and the relationship was poison, he was abusive and even today, almost 2 years after break-up, he tries to control me.
I've tried to move on for the first time and I've been seeing someone I really like. This would be the first not-long-distance and real relationship for me, but not for him. The thing is just that I have no idea about the "rules" in dating, I already see this almost like a relationship (I've been seeing this guy way more than my abusive ex) even though I know it isn't.
But my question is, how soon is too soon for anything? For example, how soon is too soon to ask where we stand? What's acceptable in dating? Do I have the right to be jealous about some things, like for example him texting another girl? I've been trying to read tips from different pages (like drnerdlove) but I'm still horrible at this. | What the title says. |
t3_3xpqhy | relationships | My (27f) boyfriend (m32) of a year cancels plans on me last minute to spend time with his daughter (f2) | Okay I'm feeling rejected and hurt about this whole thing and I need an unbiased opinion to tell me if I'm being unreasonable. First off I care about my boyfriend and his daughter. They're both great. I love spending time with him and it's never a problem.
Second of all my boyfriend gets his daughter four days a week usually. I only get to see my boyfriend two times a week maximum. And it's only after he gets home from work so it's really just two evenings a week. I don't try an butt in on their time together and the days I know he gets her I never try and make plans. I respect that he wants to spend time with her and I don't want to take that away.
Well we had made plans to go see Star Wars on Wednesday with my two best friends (he hasn't met them yet) and I was pretty excited for him go finally meet them. Well last night when my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone I told him how excited I was to go see Star Wars and that I was looking forward to sleeping in the next morning with him (we're both off work). He says well I'm going to be spending that time with my daughter. I was confused and told him I thought we were going to watch Star Wars with my friends? In a very flippant voice he said, "Yeah no I'm not doing that. I just decided I'm going to spend time with my daughter."
I was pretty upset because we have had these plans for awhile. He doesn't ever get his daughter on Wednesday anyway and I feel like he was just brushing me aside and not caring about our plans. This isn't the first time that we've had plans and he randomly cancels for his daughter. It's not like I'm asking him to spend all his free time with me and I'm respectful of the time he spends with her. But at the same time I feel like second best and pushed aside. Am I right to feel this way or am I just being ridiculous? | my boyfriend is making me feel like I'm not important to his life. |
t3_1wvffv | relationships | Me [23M] wondering when is right to tell potential companions I'm besexual. | Alrighty, a little bit of background: I'm 23, recently divorced after a year of bullshitting the paperwork, and I have an awesome daughter. In the past year I've been through a lot of self discovery and part of that is I am attracted to both men and women. I've had sexual relations with both on multiple occasions (more men than women...just hook ups, hump and dumps nothing serious) I still retain interest in dating women, even going as far as marrying again (way down the road!).
The meat:
A friend and I were doing some chatroulette, me playing the piano and singing the top 40 basically and we came across this awesome girl [21F] who I've been talking to for the past month. She comes to me with problems because the poor girl keeps running into the wrong guys. I feel like I can send her in the right direction after what I've been through. I don't REALLY have an agenda with this girl having met her on the internet and her being...200 miles away or so. In the event we did get closer, visitation was organized and we actually met up and hit it off I have a problem...
Potatos!:
As stated above, I'm bisexual. I don't know when to tell her. I feel like if she had any potential interest (or any girl I meet) would lose interest if they knew. So when is the right time to tell someone something like that? I feel like I'm more obvious in person but by no means am I a flame-a-saurous. | Girl doesn't know I'm bi, might be a potential interest. When should I tell her? |
t3_320dmc | offmychest | A certain girl | Alright, I'm horrible at explaining things and telling stories, but here goes nothing.
About a year ago (going on two years now) my best friend at the time introduced me to his ex, thinking that we'd make a great couple. That'll probably be a bit strange to some of you, but he was a weird dude. He's just annoying and unlikable now, but that's a story for another time. Anyway, we started dating, and immediately, I hated it. My friend had warned me about certain things, like her jealousy, her clinging, her self-entitledness, and just overall personality. Stupid me thinking I could handle it. Making a long section of a story short, we were less than loving to each other. I'll admit it was mostly my fault. All kinds of things have happened since then, and we've been off and on; not willing to go through them all.
I decided to maybe give it another shot recently, and she told me that I had to prove to her that I was worthy. Hey, that was fine with me, if that's what it takes. The thing is, right before that, she was dating her "first love" who told her he was gay to get away from her. Which I didn't mind, as it gave me a chance to get in again. But of course, he came back into her life immediately after saying he was never gay, pulling her away from me and towards him, once more. Oh well. She told me she cared for the both of us. A couple weeks later (now a couple days ago) we hung out, ended up fucking, for the first time in awhile, and it was great.
Next day, she told me it was a one-time thing because she wanted to get back with her ex. Of course we got into a huge argument, with her saying that it would definitely work out, ignoring the fact that it hadn't worked out the five times before. I just pushed her out of my life completely, again, and don't really know where to go from here. Do I move on and try to find someone else? Apologize, reconcile, and hope for the best? (Just so you know it's been a very long time since I've dated someone completely new.) | Been off and on with ex for a year, we fuck and she says she's getting back with her ex the next day. |
t3_vvywr | AskReddit | Lately I've realized how messed up and awful my 'Country' is (Northern Ireland) i'll explain why, have you ever had a similar realization? | I live near Belfast, which most people know is deeply divided between Unionists, who are determined to keep their links to the United Kingdom and are usually linked to protestant religious views and Irish Nationalists who are usually linked to a united Ireland and linked to Catholicism (however many prominent Irish Nationalist leaders were Protestant men)
Anyway, the area I live in is very unionist and the streets usually look like this [Imgur] around this time of year (July, particularly the 12th of July) these people parade in bands usually linked to terrorist organisations Ulster Volunteer Force, Young Citizen Volunteers etc. who have committed obscene acts of violence (you only need to read [this] to understand)
Another one to mention is the Orange Order, who have been compared to the Ku Klux Klan in america. The thing i have trouble digesting the most is my grandfather was a prominent member of the Orange Order and my father was in a unionist marching band in his youth.
I guess i feel more disturbed/disgusted in my background being linked to this kind of thing, not to mention the uncomfortable feeling that kids and teenagers are recruited to these bands and organisations merely because their parents were. Seeing things like an Irish tri-color flag burning on a bonfire is not something kids should think is ok.
Anyway, have you any problems with your own country and 'heritage' ? | I am finding it difficult to swallow the fact my family have been linked to displays of bigotry and violent history and im probably stuck in this country looking at these british flags for the rest of my life. |
t3_1mqv16 | running | Knee specialist? | Hey r/running,
This last spring I ran a 25k trail race. My training was pretty good, slowly moving up to a 13 mile training run and I was feeling fine. Race day comes around, I am in the zone and do way better than I expected. Problem was, I messed up my knee.(Probably due to bombing down hills). Over the summer I worked a physical job, usually walking at least a mile or two a day, sometimes up to 5. My knee hurt all summer. I consistently took glucosamine, rolled my IT band, did all sorts of knee exercise rehab. Changed nothing. Now that I am back in school, not walking and carrying heavy things all the time my knee is feeling better. But I introduced running SLOWLY 2 weeks ago (every other day, started at less than a mile, increased up to 2). And now I can feel my knee starting to hurt again, a lot less severe than this summer though. SO I want to get it checked out by a specialist, but who?
Should I see a Rheumatologist, a PT, personal trainer, orthopedic orthopedic specialist?
Any advice is greatly appreciated, I just want to run again.. biking and swimming is great but not the same. | Blew out knee (IT band?) months ago, hasn't gotten much better. Want to have a professional check it out |
t3_4g1kjl | relationships | Me [33F] with my ex [32M] 9mos share a daughter but keep fighting | My ex left me when I was pregnant. Our child is now 2 years old and I'm still struggling to get over the breakup and understand how I should treat him.
We have had a complicated relationship that blurs the boundaries of a breakup though he is adamant he doesn't want to be with me.
There's too much history to try to explain briefly, but basically I'm wondering how I should treat him and what type of dynamic we should have. I hate feeling like the annoying baby mama and as mean as he has been to me I care about him and want to be a positive person in his life.
I am the custodial parent and he thinks I'm really mean because we have argued about his involvement and his lifestyle being all about him. There's no point trying to change him and I'm trying to do the best I can for our daughter myself. But I want her to have a dad. | What qualities should a child's mother have to encourage the father to be involved, knowing that he really isn't a super involved dad? |
t3_vcya2 | AskReddit | It just hit me that I came closer than I would ever like to losing my right leg a couple weeks ago. Reddit, what has been your "holy shit!" moment? | About a month ago I went in for a pretty major surgery on my knee, when I woke up from surgery all I could feel was blinding pain. It was the worst pain I have ever been in in my entire life, but it was on the wrong leg. When the doc finally got there about 3 minutes later and asked what hurt I could only swear about my leg and it took them a while (probably less than a minute, but too long in that state) to check the leg that hadn't had surgery. Turns out I had developed pretty severe Compartment Syndrome somewhere during the 6 hour surgery. I went in for an emergency Fasciotomy and had my leg flayed open for a few weeks.
I didn't fully understand it at the time, but I was on the cusp of losing the leg below the knee and it just hit me today while I was crutching to work.
so Reddit, what is your "holy shit!" moment? | Went in for surgery on one knee, had complications on the other leg, came closer than I ever wanted to losing it. |
t3_4f0tma | relationships | My best friend/boyfriend [20M] just left for bootcamp and it is now finally dawning on me [19M] | To keep things short, my ex-boyfriend and best friend of 3 years just left to bootcamp for the Navy and we will not be able to communicate (except for 1 letter a week, doesn't make it any easier though) for a solid two months. We only broke up before he left so we do not hold each other back from any opportunities while we are states apart for the next 5 months (2 months bootcamp in Illinois, 3 months of school in Texas). We are both from California and this is the man who has been there by my side and has loved me whole heartedly through good and bad. It didn't occur to me for the first few day but now it's hitting me, HARD. I'm venting this to you, fellow redactors, because I don't want to drown my friends in my emotional mess. For those who have gone through this with a loved one, do you have any advice or tips for me? | Bestfriend/boyfriend of 3 years left to bootcamp for 2 months and its hitting me hard. |
t3_uoqb5 | AskReddit | What is the creepiest thing that has happened to you while in school or work? | Mine would be when I was talking with my friend in a hallway with about 10 other people in it. We were sitting down, when all of a sudden the lights all flicker and then go off. We start looking around to see if any other lights were still on, but they weren't. My friend (Joey) and I started walking to an intersection in the hall, and we hear this thud. We turn to see where it came from, when all of the doors separating the hallways shut. The lights then came back on, but only as a flicker. We ended up being told by a teacher that the power was out. We only had a little light because our school has giant solar panels in front of it. Soon, the power fully went out and we were sent home. | Power goes out, lights go off, and doors shut. Day off school, and my faith was lost in solar panels. |
t3_2kinz3 | relationships | My sister [35F] posted a picture of her daughter [12] to Facebook titled "Stole my clothes and wearing them better." Is there a polite way for me [21F] to tell her that she looks good, too? | This may not seem like an important thing to worry about, but I've never bonded with my sister and I want to keep trying to get to know her.
I realize that complimenting her on Facebook isn't the way to go about bonding, but "you're both pretty" was my first thought when I saw it the first time, and she has so many extended family members commenting on it that it pops up to the top of my feed every few hours. Every time I see it, I have the same thought, but I can't make it come out in a non-creepy and non-insulting way.
She's not the type to fish for compliments; this is the first post of its kind that I've seen from her.
It *has* occurred to me that I'm caring way too much about this, so you don't have to tell me that. | Telling my sister she's pretty on Facebook. |
t3_3f30y3 | relationships | I'm [18F] too sensitive and insecure and the guy I recently started dating [18M] doesn't realize how much his words affect me | I just started dating a guy I met about a month ago at a friend's party. We're both pessimistic stoners so it's not like we have nothing in common, but our personalities kind of clash. To put it bluntly, he's an asshole. Not in a mean-spirited way or anything, it's pretty obvious that he's joking most of the time, but I'm as sensitive as can be. I've always been insecure about literally everything (and before you suggest I try to work on it, I have been for years). Whenever he playfully makes fun of me, I can't help but wonder if there's any truthful intent behind what he's saying. I enjoy his company and like him as a person, but I always end up feeling insecure about something or other every time we hang out (to the point where it's been exacerbating my chronic depression). I feel like bringing any of this up to him would just be viewed as whining, and basically my biggest fear is other people thinking I'm annoying. I know this is going to end badly for me if I let things keep going on the way they are, but I don't know what else to do. | The guy I just started dating doesn't understand how much I take everything to heart and I want to somehow fix the situation without coming off as an oversensitive whiner. |
t3_1irolx | travel | Three days in and/or around Frankfurt as an excursion from Poland | I've lurked for awhile on this subreddit and enjoyed the tips and advice that has been offered up by those that have first hand experience with a particular city or area. That being said, I would appreciate any tips or ideas for an upcoming trip (beginning of August).
My wife and I are traveling to Poland for a wedding and have decided to extend our trip to make it into a bit more of a vacation. We've booked a flight from Warsaw to Frankfurt (letting the fares dictate a quick and easy flight) and are looking to spend three days experiencing part of Germany. Our thoughts are spending an afternoon and night in Frankfurt and then spending two days and nights somewhere we can get to via public transportation. Our first thought was to head over to the Rhine River and explore what we've read is a beautiful part of Germany. However, I thought I would tap into the collective experience of those on r/travel for any suggestions, either for a trip to the Rhine River or for alternative routes. We are fairly adventurous and don't mind going off the beaten path for authentic experiences but our only real wish is to not spend each night in a different place. | My wife and are spending three days in Germany, flying in and out of Frankfurt. What would you suggest we do once we get out of Frankfurt? Thanks! |
t3_xyna8 | AskReddit | Time to leave modesty at the door. What is your all-time proudest moment? | Allow me to begin.
I went to a summer camp in New Hampshire when I was a teenager in the late 80's and early 90's. The camp was steeped in tradition, being founded and run by the same family for nearly 100 years.
As it happened, the current director of the camp, who was in his mid-70's at the time, was the son of one of the original founders. He also happened to have set the camp high jump record way back in 1934. That record was 5'8" (~175cm). It was such a long-standing record that in the past decades, someone had notched the metal stands that hold the bar where the record stood. Younger campers would wonder in awe how someone could jump that high.
In 1990, I jumped 6'1" (~185.5cm) at a camp track meet. A week or two later, I was surprised in front of the whole camp by being presented with a plaque and an announcement that I'd shattered the 56 year old record by 5 inches. Everyone stood up and cheered, and the old record holder (the septuagenarian camp director) awarded me the plaque. | shattered a 56 year old high jump record. Was awarded plaque by previous holder. |
t3_1xayrx | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 4 months, what to do when I start losing attraction? | Hey, first time posting here, screw throwaways.
So, myself and my girlfriend have a a decent relationship up until now. She's still heavily into me, but I don't feel a rush of affection, or really anything, when I think of her. I used to be very into her, but recently... not so much. I'm not really sure what other details to provide; a story of the entire relationship would be boring, and useless, I believe? Is this just a temporary slump, or are these things typically permanent?
If you need any more details, just ask. I'll be happy to provide them. | What should I do when I'm unsure I still like them? |
t3_1cxncf | dating_advice | M22 complicated and not so promising | Hi,
I met up with this girl a few months ago. There was a good connection instantly, however we we're just meeting up and not dating
Now this went on for about 6 weeks and I decided to call her tell I her I was starting to like her and would like to go on a proper date. She said she liked me but didn't want to rush into anything, I was fine with that as im not really looking for her to instantly be my girlfriend
Then we met up again, she said that she really does like me and wanted the times we met earlier to be dates. But that she had met a guy in a club a few weeks before.
She said she still really wants to stay in contact and she just wasn't sure if she completely felt that way about me, and doesn't want to hurt me.
I have decided to keep my distance for a little while. It's now nearly 3 weeks since I last talked to her.
I do like her as a person, but id also like to see what there could be between us. What should I do? Is there any hope or does it depend on whether she lives this other guy (I get the impression she might get easily attached to people....)
Im debating whether to keep things completely cool, or try and clear the air immediately | waited too long with a girl where I had a great connection, can I recover this? |
t3_2vft79 | tifu | TIFU by comparing subreddits with a prospective date. | ~~*Obligatory comment of why I'm using an original/throwaway account*~~
So, I registered with an online dating site last week (Perhaps this was my fuck up). I was honestly clicking through profiles weighing up pros and cons of each person when I came across someone who I thought would be a compatabile match ~ *Ha.*
So I send a message and things were going well, until ~~she~~ he (Rules of the internet) mentioned they use reddit. At first I thought this was great, that's the one thing I tend not to admit to dates, let's face it, can you blame me?
Naturally I ask what subreddits they are subscribed too...and it wasn't pretty. I'm a pretty laid back guy, but this sent me running... Reddit, why are you so messed up? | r/spacedicks < May not be safe for work/life. |
t3_3x3g42 | relationships | My [22F] college friend asked to spend the night of christmas with me [21M], does that mean she likes me? If so how can I subtly make a move? | So Im a single guy (have been my whole life) living in London with 2 flatmates. They will be going home for Christmas, leaving me alone here in London.
The girl in this matter used to be a close friend of mine during the 1st and 2nd year of Uni. Come to think about it, we were close to a point where people were thinking that we were a couple. I at that time really didnt think of her in that way, neither did I expected her to have feelings for me.
When my other female friends asked me about the things that happened between me and her, they were sure that she had feelings for me and that I was crazy not to feel anything.So as time went on, this was just on the back of my mind and as I got on with my studies we grew apart and only have met a few times the past year.
Recently, as we are both Golden State Warriors fan, we talked alot more because of the winning streak of the team. She then proposed that maybe we could watch the Warriors vs Cavs game just me and her together. Due to the time difference this would be very late at night.
I do like her company, and as a 21yr old single male, I kinda want to give this a try. I was thinking could there be anything she is implying and how to make a move? | Girl asks to watch NBA game on Christmas night, is she implying anything? If yes, how can i make a subtle move? |
t3_qzfmn | AskReddit | What is the grossest or most obnoxious thing you've ever experienced living with someone (SO or roommate[s])? | During grad school, I lived with four of my friends. One of them would always try to trim the fat off of meat before cooking it and would throw the scraps away but not take out the trash, so the meat would begin to rot and stink up the apartment. To top it off, I was the only one who ever took out the trash but one weekend I was gone so my friends finally went to take to take it out and found maggots in the bottom of the trash can. Shortly after, we had a fly infestation, and when I got back from another weekend away, there were literally *hundreds* of flies in our apartment and none of my friends did anything about it, so naturally I took care of it. Probably one of the grossest things I've ever experienced. | lazy roommates, constant smell of rotting meat in trash, maggots, fly infestation. |
t3_3h12n4 | tifu | TIFU by leaving the door unlocked. NSFW | So this happened 2 days ago. I live in a 3 bedroom place with 2 other dudes and a dudette (shes with one of the dudes). We frequently have friends over to hangout, drink beer, smoke pot, play Project M, etc. So as expected we had some friends over for the night. But I had work in the morning so I decided to hit the sack a bit earlier. (this has two meanings by the end of the story). I walked to my bedroom, flicked off the lights, and proceeded to cuddle with my florida gators snuggie. I soon learned snuggies were ripoffs because I was having a terrible time trying to fall asleep. So whats guaranteed to put guys to sleep?... The secretion of semen, of course. As I start to lift my legs and pull off my boxer shorts, 2 buddies of mine barge in the room. I must've forgotten to lock the door! rookie. fucking. mistake. There I am with my legs mid air and my gouch peering at their innocent souls. I did nothing but sit there, what was seen will never be unseen. They ran out the room laughing their ass off. I couldnt help but laugh too. I know this is something that my friends will never live down. I will forever be.. The gouch boy. | couldnt sleep, wanted relief, didn't lock the door, friends saw my gouch. I am gouch boy. |
t3_13p6hf | relationships | M[17] unsure if I should pursue a relationship with F[14]? | Hey guys. . I just turned 17 a little over a month ago, and I have recently developed feelings for a girl . . who is 14. I haven't really talked to her much & another thing I forgot to mention is she is in 8th grade and i'm a senior.
I have run into a problem where I can't stop thinking about her or at least the "thought of her" I suppose. I really just want to be friends for awhile, considering the grade difference & college soon, but I feel as though my "feelings" are holding me back from even becoming friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to have sex or anything, I just really like her personality and she is really good looking.
I guess I really have two questions, the first being is that: is it natural for me to have these sort of feelings. . being sort of "obsessed" with the "thought" of someone? Is it just relational immaturity? Or is it a sign of a much deeper problem? The second question is, should I pursue a relationship with her of any kind, and if not. . how do I rid myself of these feelings that overcome me whenever I see her?
In context, I have had a girlfriend before and am not antisocial or anything (if that matters) and honestly I don't feel 3 years is a large age gap, but rather the grade difference (8th and 12th) could be a huge problem in the future (if I was to pursue a relationship.) But it's consuming my thoughts and such, and not sure where to take it. . so I took it to reddit :D | Really obsessed with the thought of this girl, and haven't established a relationship with her yet. Wondering if it's normal & what I should do about it. |
t3_40fxan | relationships | I [17 M] love my Friend [18 F] of 7 months who has a BF (18 m), she apparently loves me back? | There's this girl I've known for about 7 months she lives on the other side of the continent and there is no possible way either of us could live together. She has a BF that she claims to love however she has stated that she would be as happy if not happier with me, she has also asked for nudes in the past and returned the favour for me. I have very strong feelings about her which I've told her about a few times in the past and she has acknowledged and said she feels the same but she still claims to love her current BF. Please help I really love her and would like nothing more to be with her, how should I react when she talks to me like this and acts as though she wants to be with me despite the fact we never will be together? | I love my best friend who loves me make despite the fact she has a BF who she is incredibly happy with, we can't be together(nearly 100% certain of that) but we have feelings for each other regardless, how should I act when she brings this topic up? |
t3_1vc77c | relationships | Me [29M] with my GF [28F] 1 year,Is it wrong to expect your GF to stay away from guys that openly stated their interest in her? | Me and my gf have been together for almost a year now. And once in awhile she is asked out or flat out propositioned by guys. She tells me of course and says theres nothing to worry about. But the thing is she never makes an effort to not hang out with them. Whether it be people from work or friends. Note she doesnt hang out with them alone or rarey does but there are many times where there is opportunity to avoid the situation altogether where things may get dicey but she still decides to put herself in these situations even though I have voiced my opinion against it. I'm just wondering if its OK to not feel comfortable or am I being possessive and expecting too much? | GF hangs out with guys that have flat out stated their interest in her. |
t3_1j9seu | relationships | My [19/M] girlfriend [17/F] is becoming seemingly more and more clingy? How do I fix it? | Hey /r/relationships!
I'm posting here because I actually have no clue what to do anymore. My girlfriend and I live with our parents in the same town (after me living in a different city, at university, and moving back down), but we stay over each others houses regular.
She expects us to stay together every. single. night. It's just getting way too much, so much that i've started resenting her because of it and not appreciating the time we spend together. I've explained to her that I didn't want it to be like this, and before and it just turned into a massive argument about how I take her for granted and don't appreciate her.
Alongside this, she's started getting jealous of other friends I speak to (mainly girls) who I knew WAY before I met her. I told her that i'm going to this convention next month and that i'm meeting up with a friend for a drink, and now she is insisting to come along.
The other week too, I made plans with her to go and meet her after work, however, my sister asked me if I wanted her to give me a driving lesson (i've just started driving), in which I said Yeah. I texted my girlfriend in plenty of notice letting her know, and that i'd collect her overnight bag and take it home with me and that i'd see her at 7PM... this turned into a massive argument about again, how I don't appreciate her & take her for granted.
Oh, and on a different note, she creeped me about the other night by saying she wants to spend the rest of her life with me... just to make it even more awkward.
Anyway /r/relationships, i'm at the end of my tether and just don't know what to do. I feel like the more and more she argues with me, the more i'm being pushed away. Advice? | Girlfriend getting more and more clingy, wanting to spend every minute together. Telling her or compromising just gets in an argument and things are just back the same. Advice? |
t3_1wztuo | relationships | I'm a [23 M] who has recently been broken up with by my girlfriend [19 F]. We were together 1 and 1/2 years. | As in the title, I was together with her for a year and a half, and that time was the greatest I have ever experienced. I was considering asking for her hand in marriage with the passing of a little more time. Honestly, I'm struggling pretty damn hard in coping with my heartbreak. I need suggestions for ways to cope with it and methods that may help me overcome these hurdles.
I've tried reaching out to my friends and family, and their words are just that at this stage, words. Their presence and concern are comforting in a small way, and it is good to know that I have a solid support network around me. But I'm finding it hard to sleep at night, hard to keep my eyes on my ambitions, work on the goals that I've set out for myself.
A frequent piece of advice that I've been given is that time will heal all wounds, and to keep focused. But that's very difficult, changing the way that I think from 'us' to just me again. I'm reaching out for whatever advice anybody else may be able to give. I understand that I'm young and it's likely I'll move on and live a full life and eventually find love. It's just this limbo period while I recover and adapt to a new life and way of thinking that's so foreign to me. I ache for her, and I truly thought her my soulmate. | Going through a hard breakup, I would like advice on how to cope and move on. |
t3_2wukv9 | relationships | Me [25M] started dating a girl [24F] that I really like, and ended up having sex with another girl... | So I've started dating a girl (a couple weeks) who I'm truly falling head over heels for. We haven't made ourselves exclusive or considered 'dating', but it definitely feels like were going to end up being a relationship. She's amazing.
Sadly, the other night a couple friends of mine wanted to go out and we ran into a group of girls. I was playing wingman for my friends and eventually throughout the course of the night we drank a lot more and my playful flirting eventually lead to one of the girls kissing me. One thing leads to another over the course of the night, and I end up having sex with her. I 100% had no intention of doing this and by the time things started to ramp up I was really intoxicated.
I feel absolutely miserable about this. I know I'm not even in any form of dating, exclusivity, or in a relationship; but I really felt like I did the girl I really like very wrong.
Basically I'm just looking for some advice. I don't want this to haunt me and cause discomfort with dating the girl I really like, and I know very well that even though some people may not think this is wrong, I feel like what I did was wrong. I want a relationship soon with this girl 100%.
What do you guys think? | Dating a girl I want a relationship with for a couple weeks. Went out with friends and ended up sleeping with another girl and feel awful about it. |
t3_53lgmv | tifu | TIFU almost killing my girlfriend with a tigerskin swiss roll | My first post here (on Reddit) and it seems you can post about past fuckups, so this one's from around 4 years ago.
I was in a mall and there's a lady handing out free samples of tiger skin swiss rolls, which are cake rolls with a cute tigerskin-like outer layer. I try one and find it quite nice, two kinds of cake/bread and some ganache. On the day we were to meet, I bought two rolls, one for myself and one for my then-girlfriend.
She told me later that day that it was a nice cake, but she was feeling rather unwell. I know that she has several big deal illnesses she had to deal with (which I cannot and will not discuss here), but one of the common symptoms is having difficulty breathing.
Something just clicks in my head and I run to the tiger roll I bought for myself. I slice it and eat it and it turns out it contains peanuts. A lot of peanuts, crushed into very tiny pieces that you wouldn't even notice immediately that it had peanuts. And as you have guessed it by now: she has severe peanut allergies. I immediately informed her about the peanuts in the cake, and profusely apologized, and told her that she needed to go to the hospital.
She did, and she was in the hospital for five days, the peanut allergy probably triggering complications from her other illnesses all of which in concert, nobody would like to admit, almost killed her. | gave then-girlfriend who has severe peanut allergy a tigerskin swiss roll which had invisible peanuts triggering a chain reaction of bad stuff almost killing her, sending her to the hospital for 5 days. |
t3_3kvq8m | askwomenadvice | Texting a girl when she didnt give you her number? | Howdy! Im a guy and last night I was at a party with a bunch of my friends and me and this girl who I talked to for a bit at a different party a month ago were really hitting it off. We talked for essentially 5 hours and were both being very touchy and flirty the whole time.
Now I had been drinking a bit (she hadnt) and after walking her and her friends home with one of my buddies I realized I had never gotten her number. One of my other friends who knows her semi-well has it and could give it to me but I am wondering if it would be weird for me to text her out of the blue when she never even gave it to me? If so what should I say?
The next time I see her would just be if I bumped into her randomly at Uni (very slim chance, 50k kids) or a party and I dont have any social media. I really do like her and I dont want to wait an indefinite amount of time to see her again but I am also worried this is too creepy and dont want to fuck up.
Thanks in advance! | Obvious connection, bad logistics. |
t3_k1t61 | AskReddit | Reddit, please help. My family and I have been completely screwed over by a moving company and we don't know what to do. | Thank you for clicking on this link.
I am a college student and my family decided to ship out furniture from LA to Chicago for my apartment. My dad hired Best West Movers to drive over a large truck, deliver and assemble the furniture by September 3rd. All of this was agreed upon orally and we had an understanding of how this process would take place.
First, when the movers arrived to deliver the furniture they increased the price by $700 and told my mother to "pay or we will leave." She payed. They had her sign about 30 documents in a hurry and she did not read the fine print. We agreed the arrival date would be September 3rd. We did not receive a copy of the contract.
Now, they are saying we signed to allow them to have 30 business days to deliver our furniture, which means they can deliver it as late as October 15, which is a month after school starts. This truck has all of my belongings on it and there is a good chance that we will start school without even a mattress or towels.
If we cancel the contract we will need to pay 70% which my father cannot afford. I know they signed a contract but all of this information that screwed us over was not verbalized and is in tiny print on the back.
Please give me some advice... We thought we could trust these guys but everything has gone so terribly wrong. | My parents signed a contract with a moving company without reading the fine print, and now we need to pay $700 more than negotiated and the furniture will arrive up to 30 business days after the date we said we needed it. Please help. :( |
t3_4qc0v3 | relationships | My [14F] dad [49M] of all my life has schizophrenia and threatened me with a knife last night | My dad has been sick my whole life. I guess he got worse after he had my brother Trevor who is 24. He has schizophrenia and gets very violent. Once when I was like 5 he dragged me across the floor by my hair because I spilled some milk or something. He has always been angry and mean and paranoid.
So yesterday he was flipping out because he thought I wasn't who I was saying I was?? I kept telling him "dad it's me your daughter Kennedy" and he keeps going "no no fuck you you liar your not my daughter" and stuff like that and grabbed a steak knife and came for me. My brother still lives with us so he saw what was happening and wrestled the knife away from my dad and called the cops. Dad is still in jail I think, I'm staying with my aunt rn. The police are investigating and saying my aunt might take me in because Trevor can't take care of me (my mom hasn't had custody of me since I was like 3 because she was in and out of rehab) and because my aunt is my only adult living relative. I just don't know what to do because I love my dad but he's crazy and idk. I want to love him but it's hard. Trevor hates him. I guess the point of this is to ask if this is my fault. Like could I have done something to prove I was me and not a spy or whatever he thought I was? | my dad threatened me with a knife, is it my fault? |
t3_4gpgbf | relationships | A person (29/f) in my (24/f) friend group is openly telling people she wants to have sex with me. I have a boyfriend and I'm not bi.... How do I confront her? | So this girl is in my boyfriend and my friend group... My boyfriend and I are the newest to the group actually. This girl tells people that are our mutual friends (though probably more hers) that she thinks I'm hot and wants to fuck me. This is open knowledge. My boyfriend is pissed and frankly I'm upset because I wanted to be good friends with her. We have a lot in common and she's fun.
Last night at a party l heard her and some guys talking about her wanting to do me. They didn't know I heard but when they realized I had they apologized and said it wasn't me when it clearly was because they said some distinguishing things about me. I need to confront her because this is fracturing the friend group, especially my boyfriend and I because I respect my relationship and I find her comments entirely disrespectful. How do I go about confronting her today? Preferably through text or messenger. | girl is talking about me sexual ly in our friend group; I have a boyfriend... How do I handle this? |
t3_z9h69 | dating_advice | Looking for Advice, Second Year of Highschool | Hey guys, this is really my first post on reddit and I'm pretty bad at writing but here's the situation.
Girl is really beautiful, friendly, blah blah blah, also she's a pretty good friend with my Ex, who (may) be still interested in me. (even though she broke up with me she regrets it or something I don't know)
The only times I've talked to this girl is with my ex-girlfriend and she thought I was funny and we became okay friends.
After my ex and I broke up I didnt really talk to her but we smiled at eachother in the hallway every time we saw eachother and maybe talked once, nothing substantial.
Anyways over the summer we didnt talk at all but I just ran into her at a party, she was being hit-on by some guy that she obviously wasn't digging and I decided to walk over to her and save her by being charming and whatnot and making her laugh and got her away from the creepy guy who was I think at that point trying to show her his picture of a deer he killed (really weird because we live in a suburb of NYC)
Anyways wow now I'm off topic but anyway I made a great impression and she really was enjoying my company, nothing happened I left, here is where I need help.
School hasnt started yet, and it does in four days, me and girl share a class. What can I do to continue a good impression and set myself up to ask her out?
Should I sit next to her?
Should I just say hi?
Should I ignore her?
( | ) |
t3_1aki7f | relationships | I (25m) can't seem to get over my wife's one night stand when we were on a "break" | A couple of years ago, before we were married, my then girlfriend of 8 years and I took a break because of some major life changes, health issues, and death. During this break, I took some time for myself, starred in 3 local plays (something I never I thought id do) played a lot of video games and worked constantly. I didn't date and I spent a lot of time to myself. She spent that time partying and doing drugs and drinking. While I understand different people have different ways of coping, her one one night stand during this time has for some reason hurt me the most. I found out after she told me. A couple of weeks later, we were engaged and now married with our 18 month old daughter. There is still a little part of me though that worries about that night and if I am good enough for her and if she is happy. I constantly feel as if we are right on the verge of not working and it scares the bejeezus out of me. | I can't seem to get over the love of my life's "single time". |
t3_2xvdfh | relationships | Me [24M] was told by my [22F] that she went and did sexual acts on a camsite. | So my girlfriend of about two years went on a camsite and then told me that she did I'm guessing out of guilt. I'm not even sure how to feel.
She went on there, did who knows what as I didn't ask for details but I know she showed everything......I'm pissed off and I think that's fair of me but I'm not sure how I should feel and she won't leave me alone as obviously I'm upset. She made some money and I definitely think she enjoyed it. I also am i kinda ticked at the fact that all these people saw her when I feel as though that's something that's a privilege and she just threw it away to all them like it was nothing for not only her but for me as well. I feel pretty pissed but I care about her so its hard deciding how I should react, I dont wanna act rash nor do I want to be walked on.
There are several gripes I have with it, 1.) she did it for the thrill of it not the money involved 2.) She chose beg for forgiveness rather than asking for permission (which if she had, this would be a whole nother story). 3.) If she behaved on a thrill unsure of how I felt about it who knows what else she will do on a "thrill" and all the others I listed above.
At this point I just want some input.
I really care about her and clicked very well with her. Now i don't know how to feel. | she went on a camsite, I'm kinda mad |
t3_2r809y | personalfinance | Help with ~55k inheritance | Hey all!
So my wife and I are expecting to receive an inheritance (likely within the next year) from a deceased grandparent. We're expecting it to be in the 50-65k region. Anyway, I thought it would be helpful to begin thinking about what the best option would be if we do receive the inheritance so that we can be prepared, know each others expectations, and make wise decisions. And if it doesn't happen, well that's alright too.
We are already determined to live within our means, pay off our student loans, and not incur any more debt. My first inclination is to use a large sum (perhaps all?) of the inheritance to pay off our student loans, which we have about 90k of in federal loans, and which is our only debt. Do you guys think that would be wise or unwise?
We are not looking to purchase any property as we aren't even sure where we will be located in the next years. We don't know a whole lot about investing, but figured that unless we were guaranteed to make more than what our interest on our student loans is, it'd be wiser to pay off the loans first. The loans are a real burden, honestly, and with the amount we have it would be very nice to get them off of our backs. The only 'need' that we have is perhaps a second car, as it is a real challenge to get to our three jobs and grad school on a single car. That, and perhaps bulking up our emergency account.
What do you guys think?? | Potential ~55k windfall. 90k in student loans -- would it be wise to either put all, large sum, small sum, or none of windfall to student loans? And what to do with remaining? |
t3_x6yl6 | relationships | My brother is in an abusive relationship with the fat and lazy mom of a 8 years old nutcase, reddit what should I do? | Hi r/relationships,
sorry for the bad words but I'm having difficulties finding nice things to say.
here goes: my brother Jake is 31 and has been living together with Jenna for 3 years now. Last year, Jenna | My brother's girlfriend is preventing any good thing from happening to my family. |
t3_2bq2d1 | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 5.5 years, he always wants sex but I hardly ever do | My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We met in high school when I was 14 and he was 17. We waited 3 years before we had sex for the first time.
I'm more focused on spending quality time with him, but whenever we hang out, he always seems to be pressuring for sex and makes me feel bad for not wanting to have sex. It's not that I'm not attracted to him, it's just that I don't find so much enjoyment in sex because he always finishes in 5 mins or less, saying it's because I don't give him enough practice. We never have time alone because either of our parents are always around (I'm home for the summer from college and he moved back home after graduating). Our relationship has been long-distance since he went to college 4 years ago, so sex has never been a huge part of it.
Whenever we are together, he tries to grope my chest and I constantly tell him to stop. Him not listening to me turns me off even more, making me not want sex even more. I've tried to explain how I don't like to be pressured so much but he never listens and tries to make me feel bad for it and brings up the lack of sex in our relationship during most arguments we have.
Any advice to get him to stop pressuring me into having sex while also reassuring him it's not because I'm not attracted to him? I think it stems from the lack of general intimacy I feel with him because he doesn't do any little things for me anymore, farts directly in my face or around me on purpose, or sits on his phone looking up sports stats the whole time we are hanging out. He also treats everything as if it's a big joke and I would like sex to be treated as something serious. | Boyfriend is constantly annoying me for sex and doesn't listen when I ask him to stop, but I don't want to make him feel inadequate. |
t3_1xienw | relationships | [29M] No self worth. No self love. Insecure. Running friends off. | Update 1: I am starting to believe the root of my problem is my crushing self doubt. It is an angry, bitter, and sad monster that is crying for help. I believe after letting it go for so many years, I have come to rely on others. I believe it may have snuffed out all my hope.
I would like to start off by saying, I feel silly. I am 29 and I shouldn't be in this position in my life.
I was hoping that maybe someone could offer advice.
I cannot say I know how I got here. I don't know how it got so bad. I can only tell you that I failed myself.. but.. I can recover provided I work at it.
So I have some questions that will help me rebuild relationships and not screw up ones in the future.
What does self worth and loving yourself look like? How do I work on both of them? Does it involve acceptance?
How can I be more confident and less insecure?
Before you say it. I plan on seeking out the aid of a therapist. I still wanted to gauge responses here. | How does one love themselves and what does it look like? How does one gain confidence and shed their insecurities? |
t3_1dxvac | loseit | And so it begins for me [m] 30 to lose 100+lbs | I haven't been feeling all to well lately, not sick per say, just not... well.
So I get a new doctor and we do some blood work to see where I'm at, and BAM, there are many things wrong on it. Now being in medicine, I look at it and think "my weight is effecting me medically now... yay..." which is exactly what it was. The worst part was not seeing high cholesterol, or triglycerides... but the point that my liver enzymes are elevated. This means theres liver damage, most of the time related to Hepatitis when its in the 120 range, but in this case it was because for FAT in my liver... so it is time to change.
I was 415lbs, 6'7" male and eating fast food once a day, sometimes twice, driving almost a case of soda a day, and sitting on my computer.
Since then I have been walking daily for 20 minutes or so, riding my bike a few times a week for 45 minutes. And trying to be more active. I have effectivly stopped eating fast foods, and incorperated more vegetables/fruits into my diet... as well as actually eating more than once per day (i eat 5-6 times now, including breakfast)
And in these past 4 weeks, I am down to 399 lbs, so its on the way.
I will be slowly structuring a more strict diet and exercise routine once I can afford proper groceries, and a gym pass... but I will post stuff here as I progress! | I was over 400 lbs from to much fast food, lost some weight in 2 weeks, plan to loose more. no more fast food. |
t3_1dudoa | relationships | I [16M] broke up with my girlfriend [17F] because I am questioning being gay, she tells everyone I raped her. | Hello,
I [16M] broke up with my girlfriend [17F] a few weeks ago. We are in High School, and the relationship was only around half a year, but that's not the root of the problem.
I've been questioning my sexuality for a while now, and I decided that I didn't want to let this relationship go too far should I determine that I'm gay. So, a few weeks ago, I broke up with her for that reason. She seemed relatively cool at that moment, but the next day I recieved multiple angry messages from her friends saying that I raped her. Apparently, she didn't take this breakup well. We have never had sex, and only really got to 2nd base a few times (she's a Religious Christian).
I was completely surprised by this. I thought she would accept my reason (which I believe was perfectly valid) and move on. Around half of my friends stopped talking to me, and many people at school couldn't even look me in the eyes.
This puts me in a tough spot. I don't really want to reveal my sexuality to the public for a variety of reasons, but I can't let this stand. This rumor she's spreading could have a major impact on my life. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Any ideas, Reddit? | I broke up with my gf because I may be gay, she tells the whole world I raped her. I don't want to reveal my sexuality to the public, but this is escalating quickly. |
t3_w4xny | relationships | Is my BF still attached? | My bf (24m) and I (22f) have been dating for about two years. We have two dogs and live together with another couple and a roommate (five people altogether). Recently, I can't seem to arouse any sort of intimacy out of him, even though we still have a really great (at least IMO) out of bed relationship. I know that in the past few months I've gone from a very athletic body type to a not so attractive looking one, but he insists that he doesn't see any change in me and continues to tell me he loves me at night and in the morning before he leaves for work. However, I can't help but feeling like I'm losing touch with him. He used to be somewhat of a nymphomaniac, and while I definitely am not of that cloth, it wasn't anything I disliked, so I don't think that my preferences could have been what has interfered with our relationship. I don't know if he's finding me less attractive than he used to or if he's moving on with our relationship. We broke up about 8 months ago for a little while when he was undergoing a similar disinterest so I feel like my worrying is well placed. Does anybody have any advice at all in finding out if he's still interested in our relationship or if it's time to start preparing for another breakup? | My nymphomaniac BF no longer wants to be intimate. Is this a bad sign even if we still say we love you? |
t3_twhot | AskReddit | I suck at girls. | Ok, so I'm a sophomore in highschool. Indian, 5'9", about 125lb (really skinny). I like this girl, and I've pretty much already planned out how to ask her to homecoming, prom, all that stuff. I like her. A lot. Freshmen year, I liked her as well but I was an idiot back then and I would always chat her on facebook. Every single time she was online, I would send her a chat message saying something likie "Hey, what's up!", and I'd always call her pretty and compliment her looks. Well, all of a sudden i didn't know what to do so i just stopped talking to her. Well this year, i'm a lot smarter and I don't do that. I want to talk to her in real life but I don't have the balls. I recently sent her a chat message on facebook asking about this one girl that liked me. (Person X). They girl I currently like (Derpina) said that Person X liked me and that Derpina promised not to steal me from person x. Not sure if joking or not but i think she maybe flirting. Am i right reddit? OR should I just talk to her? What should I do? I really want to be with this girl. | I like this girl. She maybe likes me. What the fuck do i do. |
t3_2f8f9x | relationships | How to deal with fighting parents caught in loveless marriage? | I'm 25 and living at home with my younger sister (20) and parents. We're in Asia, so it's kinda a thing that you don't move out until marriage – it's ridiculous.
Anyway, my parents have been in a loveless marriage for many years now, but they got into a proper fight about a month back and haven't spoken since.
My dad (53) is usually pretty chill so this is quite out of character. He's told me he doesn't care about the family anymore.
My mum (53), on the other hand, is someone who is very proud, spiteful and can never be told she is wrong. They've been married 27 years, and I honestly think my dad has hit breaking point. This marriage hasn't worked out for a while.
On one hand, I'm gotten to a point where I really don't care what happens to their relationship. It might be better for everyone if they just split, but they've gotten comfortable, would struggle with being unmarried and again, in Asia – and particularly in our culture – divorce is still frowned upon.
But people close to us, especially my sister, seem to think it's my responsibility to intervene, and that I'm the bad person for not stepping in.
I'm feeling a little bit pulled in both directions. They're adults, this is their issue to sort out and I don't want to get in the middle of a messy battle. But they're still my parents, and being at home has been a bit difficult and annoying.
Have you ever been in a similar situation, and how did you deal with it? | I'm an adult living at home with fighting parents. Is it my responsibility to sort their shit out? |
t3_1gorbd | relationships | I[25M] can't get over someone my gf[25F] slept with before we were together | I need to keep this vague as my gf is a Redditor. My girlfriend and I met at work. We knew each other about 6 months before anything romantic/sexual happened between us. I just found out today that (allegedly) she had sex with a part time employee at the place of employment I work at right before we started dating. (She no longer works there, she quit right after we started dating) They allegedly had sex in the conference room, so it wasn't a drunk hookup. He is the end-all-be-all piece of shit. He's 45, broke, homeless, has never had a full-time job, late on 5 years of child support, he is overweight, his hygiene is horrible and he's an asshole. You will never meet a bigger piece of shit.
I am trying not to crucify her for someone she was with before we were together, I've done some things I'm not proud of either; extensive drug history, sex with 18 year old high schoolers after I had graduated college, etc. I'm not the type nor do I have the right to judge, but I cannot stop thinking about how FUCKING disgusting it is that she slept with him AT WORK. Not some drunk hookup, she made the sober decision to sleep with the most disgusting person I have ever met while on the clock.
Do I bring this up? It's just a rumor at work (started by him) so it may not even be true. I know she will break down in tears if I do bring it up, or will be very angry if it's not true. I want to just get past it without ever mentioning it, but I feel like it will come up. We are the happiest couple in the world and I really see myself marrying this women, but right now I feel...ashamed. I don't think I could have sex with her right now. I know it's horrible and her sexual preferences are her business and not mine, but I cannot stress enough how disgusting he is. | My girlfriend had sex with the most vile and disgusting human being I have ever met right before we started dating. I don't hold her account for things she did before we were together, but the thought of them together is beyond repulsive. How do I get past these feelings? Do I never ever bring them up? |
t3_20ve6b | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] have been together about 2 months, and she thinks it's ok to hang with guys that want to have sex with her | So first thing first please tell me if I'm just exaggerating
So my girlfriend is honestly very beautiful like she is a part time model with a contract and everything, but I'm not that good looking, I've honestly been called very ugly but of course she says she doesn't care and that she loves me for me. Anyways she has some very good looking guy friends that hit on her and have asked her to have sex with them and she always declines and says that she loves me and only wants me (she shows me the text) but my problem is that she continues to hang out with these guys, like she asks me if it's fine for her to go over to hang out, I trust her but not them. And also if a girl says that she likes me then she gets all mad and doesn't want me talking to them anymore | My girlfriend hangs it with guys that want her but I can't even so much as look at a girl that likes me |
t3_2jd172 | tifu | TIFU by costing a genuinely nice kid his job | This happened about two weeks ago. So I work at a little coffee place and have been for most of my high school career. We've had this new guy who just started, however he works while I'm in school so I have little to no interaction with him. We'll call him Sam. Anyways, come Sunday, it turns out Sam will be working the same shift as me. Awesome, right?
Now Sam is a nice guy. He dropped out of high school Junior year, but he is very level-headed and generally an extremely nice kid. We talk for a bit as we brace ourselves for the after-church rush of families. Now as it turns out, Sam was never taught how to make sandwiches and the entire day he had been watching me make them without my knowledge. So that is the first fuck up that went right by me. Now as I mentioned earlier, I've been working here for a couple of years so my boss let's me take some shortcuts when cooking because she knows I'm not going to fuck up (ironic, eh?). Anyways, fast forward a bit and I overhear my boss talking to Sam about how he really needs to quicken things up or else she'll have to fire him. Unbeknownst to me, Sam thinks he can redeem himself by exhibiting his progression at the sandwich station. Oh boy.
Fast forward to this past weekend. As I'm coming in, I see Sam at the sandwich station cowering in the corner as my boss towered over him yelling about how he was making sandwiches.
Went along the lines of, "Sam! I told you one last chance. And this is how you try to improve? By f*cking with the sandwiches? I don't care how nice of a person you are, if you can't handle this, you have to go." Needless to say, Sam is no longer on the schedule and I feel horrible. I tried to explain to my boss that he was mimicking me, but she wouldn't have it. Now I feel like I ruined some high school kid's genuine chance at getting a fairly stable job... | Wicked nice new kid is slow at work. Unknowingly to me, shadows my half-assed sandwich making skills, tries to redeem himself and gets fired. |
t3_2i8xvb | relationships | I [21 M] have been having general problems with romantic/sexual relationships lately | My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 10 months ago when we moved apart. Ever since me and my ex split, I've been struggling to feel comfortable, confident and willing to try and connect with someone else.
I'm over my ex but I'm struggling to move on.
I'm living in a new city and am not comfortable enough with my roomates and I feel like this is a part of the issue. I also work a lot and online dating weirds me out.
Not only am I struggling with this, but I also feel as if I have trouble connecting with others which is new for me.
What do you think? Anything I could do to help with this? | Over the last 10 months, I've been struggling with confidence and feeling uncomfortable meeting, opening up and connecting to women. Looking for advice. |
t3_2vjuh3 | relationships | Worried about (22F) who is pregnant but isn't being realistic | Sarah took herself off birth control last year while she was living in her parents house with her then unemployed fiance, she had a very menial job at the time. She got pregnant.
Early last summer, Sarah and her fiance got an apartment. Her fiance is a bit of an irresponsible mooch, and they'd been using the money Sarah had been making. They were stretched pretty thin but Sarah was so happy, she was pregnant and planning her wedding. It was her dream come true. Her fiance got a minimum wage job during this time.
They decided to get married earlier this year, her parents paid. She is 29 weeks along now. I've learned that her insurance doesn't cover her hospital visits so her parents have been paying out of pocket for every visit. Her parents don't have a lot of money, but are trying their best to support their daughter. His parents aren't involved.
Sarah is completely ignoring her financial situation. I don't think she understands how much a baby costs, and the fact that her parents can't support her forever. She keeps talking about having five kids. I really don't know how to bring it up... or if I shouldn't. However, I know if I don't, I'll be waiting for the inevitable crash and burn. I really don't want that. Sarah and I are family and very close. | Sarah (22F) and her husband are going to have a baby. However, I don't think she quite understands the gravity of the situation and I don't know how to bring it up. |
t3_vxc9x | AskReddit | My Mom just reported to Facebook that she had to rummage through the garbage to find my Dad's false teeth after they were accidentally thrown out. What is the funniest, yet unintentional, thing your parents have done? | Just for clarity, my parents are both turning 65 this year. I've definitely noticed some changes in their memory, but it's nothing alarming - just the normal type stuff.
Another funny thing that happened to my Mom (when she was much younger though - like 16 or so): She was driving around town shortly after she received her driver's license. Upon coming up to a stop sign, she accidentally hit the gas for a second instead of the brake resulting in her rear ending the car in front of her. My Mom was terrified. She sat there waiting for someone to get out and yell at her. They didn't. When the light turned green the car drove away and my Mom followed because she thought that perhaps the person wanted to find a parking lot to assess the damage. The car doesn't stop, but continues on for a few minutes all while my Mom is trailing behind. They're coming up on a stoplight and, again, my Mom rear ends this car (LOL). This time it was worse than the last. She's sitting there with tears running down her face, completely embarrassed, waiting for this person to basically jump out of the car and kill her. Surprisingly, a few seconds later a little old woman jumps out of the car and runs back and tells my Mom that everything is okay and to "please, stop following me!" (Haha!) My Mom went on her way after that.
She loves to tell this story and it know it's a bit incredulous, but if you knew the way my Mom drives you wouldn't have any doubts. She has ripped the doors off of three cars, hit a heifer with my Dad's corvette and rear ended more than a handful of people. She has no fucking clue how to drive, but I love her and her stories! | My Mom rear ended the same lady twice in one day (minutes apart) when she was 16/17. She also hit a heifer with my Dad's corvette after they were first married. |
t3_1i6wiw | relationships | I [30M] need advice about a girl [26F] who's canceling dates. | I've just started seeing a girl from OKCupid and we've been on a couple dates.
She had to cancel on the second date due to allergies and we did manage to reschedule but she picked a day where she worked at 6 am the next morning so the date wrapped up by 9pm.
Tonight was supposed to be our third date and I made sure she wasn't working the next morning, but I just got a text that she is sick and has to bail. I can't help but think she's not actually sick. Our first date was a month ago. Thoughts? | Multiple cancelled dates, not sure if she's being honest. |
t3_fibpr | AskReddit | Worried about dogs that live above me. | I live in a one bedroom apartment complex with 2 apartments above me. About 2-3 months ago I got some new neighbors and it only took a couple of day of noise to know they had a couple of dogs. I know the apartment complex is pet friendly so it wasn't a problem as I'm pretty lax when it comes to noise, I can always hear them running around when the tenant gets home or barking and playing with each other when she leaves.
The problem is the whole time shes been living up there I have seen the dogs ONCE. I've been at home most of the last week and I realized that she never takes them outside. The only time they get out is when she gets home to let them relieve themselves on the back porch [a very small porch]. Its become a problem as I can't sit on MY back porch anymore due to the overwhelming smell of piss and shit. Even with just my back door open I can smell it.
I spent a week taking care of my sisters dog and even though I took her to parks daily and let her in the backyard to run around several times a day, the dog still got antsy after being inside for a couple of hours. Laying in bed, hearing this woman yell at her dogs for playing, I started to feel really bad for them. Its a small apartment, and even if her place is bigger its only an extra bedroom with not a lot of space to run around [I've seen the layouts for all the apartments.]
The only reason I could see her not letting them outside is that she didn't want to pay the pet deposit. There's a large area of grass directly in front of our backyard where a lot of folks bring their pets to play or go to the bathroom, so I'd hate to think its laziness since she'd only have to walk down some stairs.
So what should I do? My first thought was to tell the apartment manager but I wasn't sure if there was a special department in animal services that handles this kind of thing? I know very little about care of animals or the people the handle these situations. | Neighbor above keeps dogs in cramped apartment. Is there something I can do? |
t3_1cll1b | relationship_advice | I [M21] think that my recent behavior may be unattractive to my girlfriend [f21] | We talked for two months and broke up before taking a five month break and getting back together. For the first two months, she was very insecure and scared due to her jaded past with her ex boyfriend in higschool. I honestly wasn't too interested in her and took her for granted, hence the five month break. I break up with her through text message and didn't treat her like a gentlemen at all throughout our two months together. I broke up with her because she didn't want to have sex after two months. ( Shallow, I know...)
We start talking again around March. during our five months apart I talked to other girls but realized that the girl I had just broken up with via text message was a really good girl and that I made a huge mistake.
It's been about a month now and things have changed in my behavior. I've been cooking for her, we've been texting everyday, I tell her how much she means to me. I went from being a relatively cold guy to a what I would consider, a very open and expressive boyfriend. I surprise her with lunch at school, I write little cheesy things for her, I do whatever I can to make her smile. We talk everyday, end everynight with a lot of dirty sexting, and I've begun to opened myself up to her more than any other girl before.
However, I'm wondering is there such thing as being TOO nice to a girl? Is being TOO nice unattractive? Will she see me as a floormat? Will she lose appreciation for the things I do if I do them TOO often?? | I used to be an dick to a girl, but once I realized she was a good girl I could take home to mom, I started treated her much better. I'm wondering if there is such thing as being TOO nice to a girlfriend? ( Doing relatively nice things for her, surprising her with cooked food, massages, etc ) Will she lose appreciation for the things I do them TOO often?? |
t3_2sowxt | relationship_advice | Should I (about to be) 21M break up with my 20F SO? [ Respect Issues, Maturity] | So in the noon she texts me asking if i wanted to go to a party tonight, i said maybe, to which she responded it was fine if i didnt want to go, i said that it was tottally fine for her to go and ill maybe tag along or something. To which i was ignored, i then asked what was up ( as we had planned to meet up to night), also ignored.
I havent said anything since but I am extremely bothered by the incident, this isnt the first time she has flat out ignored me over something extremely insignificant, this time i feel a little jilted as it has been 6 hours with no response and we did plan to see eachother tonight. If she had gone to the party is it unreasonable to just respectfully tell me that and not ignore me? I would have understood if she went without me, i dont have an issue with that.... but if she goes and just ignores/blows me off is it not unreasonable for me to be pissed?
We have been Together almost 5 months so it is reasonably new, while she has told me she loves me and I do believe it, i dont like games like this being played my questions here are decently simple.
do i .........
1 Cut my Losses take all my shit out of her appartment and break up with her for this sillyness?
2 Talk to her about it and address the situation ( if i can even conact her, its sad that shes ignoring me) If nothing can be fixed, break up with her the same day?
3. Talk to her and address the situation. Stay with her
4. Dont say anything.
I feel disrespected to a certain extend by being ignored, yet i havent contacted her to mention i know shes upset etc ( to which i dont even honestly understand why she is)
I love this girl, i really do and she means a lot to me, so before anyone tells me "your minds made up already" understand that it isnt, i like different perspectives. | SO ignores me when upset at seemingly unreasonable times, this specific time ignoring me and blowing off our plans. Do i cut my losses? Talk to her? Or am i being unreasonable? |
t3_3oemdl | relationships | Need break-up advice | My SO(21) and I(22) have been together for 2 years in a month and living together for 3 months with another room-mate(my sister and SO's bestfriend). She has a 4 year old son and the three of us get along great BUT I'm realising that I don't want to be tied down so fast. I want to travel and move and start over a couple times. I just don't know how to go about dealing with the situation.. I want to end the relationship on a good note and I'm positive she'll be understanding. I just need to figure out how I'm going to go about bringing it up to her. Needing you guys' opinions! | Sticky living situation |
t3_n7icj | AskReddit | This will always haunt me. Why did a random rap album start playing from my computer in the middle of the night? | One night about a year and a half ago, I fell asleep on my couch after a night of browsing the internet (pre-reddit days). About 3:30 am, I woke up to a rap song coming from my Macbook Pro. I immediately woke and checked Safari and and iTunes. Both applications were closed. In fact, every application but Finder was on. But this rap album continued to play. It was not something I had heard before. It was pretty good, but not spectacular. Something I would listen to again for sure. It wasn't censored and there was tons of cussing, especially the n word. I would say a total of 9-10 songs played, all obviously by the same artist. There was no disc in my drive. I have literally no explanation for how this happened and it was definitely not a dream. To this day, I've never heard any of the music I heard that night again. At the time, I tried to relay the lyrics I could remember to my rap-enthusiast friends, but no one could give me any positive leads. I even tried Googling the lyrics I could remember, but nothing came up. At this point **I can't remember any of the lyrics at all.**
If it was a dream, I have never had a dream that vivid, and I find it hard to imagine myself creating an entire rap album in my own dream. I honestly don't care about finding out the music, because it was good, but not good enough to chase down my whole life when I can't even really remember it. I just want to know what happened. Why did it happen and how? | Random rap album played on my computer in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. |
t3_11y92j | relationships | So confused | Me(18) and my boyfriend(19) have been together for a little over a year. We've lived together for 6 months. About two months ago I found out he cheated on me. He never went and met the girl, but talked to her through email and texts. I found out from having his phone one night and her texting. The girl is also underage. He hasn't talked to her since though, and I just want to be able to get over it, because we are good together, and click like soul mates. He said he cheated because he was tired of me always fussing( bullshit excuse imo). I have nowhere else to live, as I am still in high school, my senior year. And I have no family to support me. | boyfriend cheated, should I stay with him or just move on? |
t3_1a2h7s | dating_advice | I[17] was told by a girl[16] that she loves me, but I am starting to doubt that. | So me and this girl have been in the same friend group for a while now and I alway thought she was weird. One day I decide to talk to her and we hit it off. We talked for a couple of hours and we found out we had a lot of the same interests. We continued talking at school and when we were not around each other we would text and use instant messenger. Then one day she just pours her heart out to me and trusts me with tones of secrets.
Jump to about 4 months later and I have developed a massive crush on her. I have liked girls before, but not this much. Then as usual after school we start texting and then out of the blue she tells me she loves me... Now I personally was shocked, I had no clue she had any feelings for me. Then I tell her I love her back. Straight after that she says we can not be in a relationship together because 1.) She is grounded 2.) She doesnt want people to make fun of us (we are both a little out of the ordinary) and the main reason is 3.) she does not want to hurt me and or get hurt. I then state that "If it was any other guy you would go out with them in a heart beat" She says thats not true and I just say okay and suck it up, she then goes on to tell me maybe when she gets ungrounded she will go out with me.
Jump to the middle of the week and I am sitting at a table talking to 3 of my friends in a study hall, the subject of the girl comes up and one of them say that she has been making out with some dude. I sat there in shock and then convenced myself it was probably just a rumor. That friday she tells me that her and said dude had a Pseudo-relationship and that he dumped her two days after. I acted like it didn't effect me, but it really did.
Now I have no goddamn clue what to do. Any Advice?
Oh and also this is the first girl that has liked me and that I have liked in over 3 years. | Girl tells me she loves me, but dosent want to go out becuase she doesn't want to get hurt and or hurt me. She then proceeds to make out with another dude after the fact. |
t3_1fo9q4 | loseit | Mental health and weight loss. | In 2007 I was 20 years old and 350lbs, sweating incessantly in a suit and tie at my grandfathers wedding. Drinks were drank, food was eaten, music was danced to and general merriment was had by all, save myself. I distinctly remember looking at the pictures from that event, how amazing my family members looked, the smiles on their faces, and would only be brought back to earth by looking at the images of myself, morbidly overweight and desperately unhappy.
Since 2007 my life has changed dramatically, a friend of mine got me to go to the gym with him and through multiple years of having a completely new paradigm about my lifestyle (as well as multiple loose skin operations) I've been able to change my body into one that resembles a healthy bodybuilder. I would go into my routine and diet but that isn't the main point of this post, anyone who is interested in that is more than welcome to send me a pm.
The issue that I'm concerned with is my mental health. No matter how many compliments I get, or how much time I spend dissecting myself in the mirror, I can't get the image of that fat sad boy out of my head when I view myself. Its crippling. I have only artificial self confidence, I think that any girl that finds me attractive is messing with me, and I have a hard time making decisions because I don't trust myself.
What I'm really looking for is those that have been through this and have learned to love themselves after their transformation. | Fat guy looses weight, can't get the image of fat guy out of his head. |
t3_15tcu1 | AskReddit | How can I build a good relationship with a family member? | Seeing as how this community as helped a lot of individuals with problems, I've finally decided to cave and post. I need help and any recommendations on how to build a strong relationship with my younger brother. A little insight about my situation:
I'm in my 20's and have a younger brother. Our family has had problems, and I took out a lot of frustrations on my brother both physically and verbally. Most of it was unwarranted and it kills me to have put him through it. Even if I did have a "good reason" I most likely went WAY overboard with the abuse. We don't have a lot in common but I want to start spending quality time and build a relationship with him. I feel with all I've put him through there's a line that kind of separates us and is difficult to get over. It's hard for me to forgive myself so I can only imagine how hard it would be for him to forgive me. How can I be a good brother and friend? | It hurts me to have potentially ruined my brother's life and perspective by abuse. I want to be better to him, and be not only a good brother but a friend as well. What can I do? |
t3_2bbfcm | relationship_advice | My (21/F) friend (21/F) whom I work with is dating my manager and divulging information about illness leave to other workers. | This isn't a romantic problem, more of a friendship issue. A few months ago I got a job working at a cinema where my friend works who happens to be dating a manager. At first I enjoyed the job but slowly the 8am starts crossed with the 1am finishes and an hour to get home and to work slowly wore me down. Eventually around the anniversary of my Dad's death there was an incident at work. I was left on my own in an area where people started stealing from my department, when I called over the supervisor nobody showed and I was left to deal with some scumbags all on my own who got angry and abusive with me.
I suffer with anxiety and depression and this is no secret but I just try to deal with it. This happened to send my anxiety sky high, I stopped eating and started panicking about everything. I felt unsafe. So the doctor decided I needed time off work. So I let management know about the situation.
Next thing I know, one of my friends tells me he was out with the girl I work with the other week and she's slating me saying how bad it is I'm missing work and telling everybody my business.
I understand couples talk about everything and I respect that and really don't mind it. But i'm so angry to find out she's telling people I work with and my friends from outside of work.
I'm wondering whether I need to make a complaint to HR, or whether that would be too much of a dick thing to do in case one of them lost my job.
I don't know what I should do? I'm already dreading returning back to work. let alone with information about my illness all over the place. | took time off due to incident at work, friend whom I work with is dating manager has told people I work with and friends outside work information about my illness, wondering what to do. |
t3_2td91j | tifu | TIFU by not taking responsibility for what I had done | I accidently clicked "Print" instead of "Open" when I right-clicked my 400-page Java textbook. Sleep-deprived me thought that logging out would solve the problem so I did. The printer, which was groaning and creaking when I hit the "Print" button, miraculously shut up when I logged out. Feeling really pleased with myself, I logged back on and browsed Reddit. (We had a sub (substitute teacher) today, and he was too busy figuring out how to use the computer to do the attendance, so no one was around to tell us to study.) A few minutes later, the sub says, 'Who's printing the textbook?' *chuckles* 'Well, just remember that there's around 400 pages of that.' I literally had this look (꒪Д꒪) on my face. My internal monologue when I realized that my lame attempts at stopping the printer had failed: *It wasn't me, you can't prove it was me, every computer's connected to the printer, it wasn't me, I swear it wasn't me!* Putting on a Jesus-Christ-which-fucking-idiot-in-my-class-did-this-shit face, I checked to see if the printer icon on my desktop was on or not, hoping to stop it from printing more out. I couldn't find it and eventually forgot the entire printing accident (Reddit has that effect on me) until the end of the class, when the sub waved the stack of papers and told us that it was a very stupid and lame prank. Oh well.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | Printing 400 pages out with a school printer is one hell of a thrill, hearing it groan and diarrhea-style shoot paper after paper behind you. So fucking satisfying. Everyone should try it sometime. |
t3_4j30qq | relationships | My girlfriend [26 F] is always bored and I [26 M] am the total opposite | Hey everyone, thanks for taking a moment to read my little issue!
I am in a relationship with a really lovely young woman, and in general I am entirely happy with what is going on. However, I personally believe that your life can always be improved and I am dead set on improving all aspects of my life, if I can. Writing this makes me thing that maybe I need to learn to accept things the way they are but really, why not try to make life better for the love of my life and myself?
Anyone, I am really interested in all sorts of topics/activities/things/etc but my girlfriend has a severe lack of interest in things. I have so many hobbies and perhaps an addiction to hobbies. I believe that people *should never* be bored with life. Look at the world we live in! It's amazing. So much to do, see, talk or learn about, etc.
My girlfriend just finished her first year of med school and now has way too much time on her hands. We live in a beautiful city (Vancouver, BC) that is filled with so much to do, and so many interesting people. We are both new here and both don't really have many/any friends.
She misses her friends back home and has nothing to fill her time with so she is spending a lot of time being bored and sitting around doing nothing. She does like yoga but we do that every night already.
I have tried to encourage her by suggesting things but I feel like it's just like a parent telling their kid what to do. She's just not very receptive to any of my ideas, even if I think they are exciting and would rather do any of them than my day job.
I have no expectations for this thread, I am just looking to hear from fellow (amazing) Redditors. I am reaching out because I got out of a long relationship before this one that was ruined because my ex was needy and had zero hobbies. She would do nothing without me, and lacked a general interest in life. It's a scary thought to think anything like that could happen again (but probably won't). I just want my darling to be as happy as I am and would do anything for her. | My girlfriend is super bored with her life and I want her to be happy the best I can. Don't want this relationship to be anything like my last one where my ex wanted nothing to do with life. |
t3_28idty | dating_advice | Women of /r/:dating_advice, what is the best way I can give this girl my number/ tell her I like her? | I just got done with my college orientation yesterday and their was this girl in my small group that I just about "Fell Head Over Heels" for. I started to talk to her more and just ask generic questions to allow her to open up to me. First, here is a little info about her: she is extremely energetic and very happy, never in a bad mood and always smiling. She wasn't too shy, but you had to go up to her to actually have a full conversation. She would rarely come up to people, they had to start it in order for her to actually open up. On the second day I actually started to talk to her. Before this we had small talks but nothing bigger than introductions. I was sitting next to her in a talk so i thought this was my chance to actually talk to her and have an open conversation. I start asking her simple questions like what school are you from, where do you work (after she told me she works), ect. I am terrible at reading women so I could be completely wrong, but she seemed happy and content to talk to me and also seemed a little interested in me (it could just be her personality though, but she seemed like she was genuinely happy and had "one of those smiles" I have women have when they are interested a man while I was talking). While she was telling me where she works (Starbucks), she told me she closes every night this week. I found out that she works extremely close to me, so I was thinking about stopping in and get something while she worked and also chat with her a little. Before I leave I am thinking of putting her name and my number on a piece of paper and put it in folded money and leave it in the tip jar. So these are my question to any woman out there: Is this a good or bad idea? Do you think it will be weird or romantic? How would you react if you had the same personality as her (very bubbly)? Also any advice for me. | an extremely energetic and happy girl I met at my college orientation who kinda seemed interested in me, she works at starbucks so i was thinking of leaving my number in the tip jar for her. thoughts? Advice? |
t3_1f92p4 | dating_advice | [20F] been dating [21M] for 4 weeks, now almost no contact -- have i been "dumped"? | throwaway.
we've been dating for about 4 weeks now, seeing each other about once a week and keeping a text conversation going. he pursued me very aggressively at first, and we ended up having sex by the second date. till now, he's been really good about making plans, asking me how my day's going, showing that he's still interested in me -- but our text conversation has slowed down a LOT, and since last week, i've only been getting a text every other day or so, which is so different from his aggressiveness at the beginning of us dating. he apologizes and says that he's been sleeping all day, but i'm kind of getting the sense that he is losing interest or has found someone else. he also hasn't asked to see me again (our last date was last thursday).
i know texting is overanalyzed, but that's really the only communication i've had from his the past week or so, and i find it hard to believe that he can't find the time to contact me when he used to do so frequently. granted, he's going on a month long trip in about a week and a half and probably needs to get ready, but that's not even his excuse...
i understand that we never talked about exclusivity and that i may have been used for sex, but that's not even the problem -- i'm fine with him wanting to end things, but isn't it common decency to tell a girl when you're just not interested anymore/have found someone else? i would rather have him tell me straight than just let things drift off like this.
also. this is my first real experience with 'dating,' and i honestly have no idea what i'm doing lol. so sorry for the rant :) i hate being obsessive, and i kind of just want to know now if i should forget about him ASAP. | been dating a guy for 4 weeks, he's gone from frequent communication every day to a text every other day. at what point should i take lack of contact as being "dumped"/him not being interested anymore? |
t3_cz6m6 | AskReddit | How can I be less afraid of people? | Or more specifically, rejection/judgement? I have a few close friends but when it comes to networking/coworkers/small talk/being introduced I'm afraid. As a child I was teased and bullied so much that my social confidence was shattered and I'm convinced that I'm going to fail every time I try to hold a conversation.
I have my confident days but if something seems not to go well I get extremely discouraged. Deep down I'm unfortunately very sensitive and therefore am all the more defensive of my pathetic little core, hence not much of a social risk taker. It takes so much effort to try and start a conversation; always scanning everyone's faces just waiting for some look of disapproval or disinterest.
I feel like a pathetic idiot for not being able to handle myself better, but I've kept to myself most of my life. | I try to socialize but have a huge fear of failure/low self-esteem |
t3_10aqi7 | relationships | Fiancée [24f] hates my [26m] wandering eye. | Women (and men) of reddit,
In my current relationship of almost 7 years this is one of my biggest headaches.
It's pretty much automatic that if someone attractive walks by, or even if it's someone wearing something nice or interesting, I'll look them up and down. Would this drive you crazy?
I really can't help it. If I will myself not to look them I'm overcome with curiosity about what I missed and I'll become distracted like I missed out on a small pleasure in life.
I've asked her why it bothers her and she refuses to give me a straight answer. She just says "other girls would be upset too" or "you would be upset if I started looking at pictures of guys". I tell her that that's not the case as long as she comes home at the end of the day. She seems to think that I just say that to win an argument or to justify my actions.
Thoughts?
Thanks! | How do you feel about your SOs checking out other people? |
t3_33zogx | needadvice | Need advice on asking teacher for more extra credit | Backstory: Missed a crapload of work during second quarter (week of flu and 2 weeks after parents surgery of missing class, impossible to make up) and got a mediocre grade for the quarter (33%). Also got 75% on first and third quarter from missing key essays (also from parents surgery, removing two discs in the neck and they had complications). I'm a senior, so I'm afraid that with a shortened fourth quarter, I will not have enough grades in the actual book to offset the really low E in second and will not pass the class and graduate. Hes a chill guy, so I expect he will let me make some stuff up for extra credit, but I want to put it in the right way. | Failed second quarter, got mediocre C in other two, few grades in fourth. Need way to ask teacher for more extra grades in fourth. |
t3_13uqid | AskReddit | Reddit, what are some of your best 'tricks' or 'moves' you've used to benefit yourself, or gain something in your favor? | To better explain the question, just little things you did to get the responce from someone/something that you had hoped for. I have two.
Theres a girl I used to have a crush on at work. One day, while walking to the timeclock to punch in, she was walking behind me to do the same. I have a tattoo on my left shoulder, and I made it seem like I was scratching the back of my neck, when I was *actually* moving my shirt to expose part of the tattoo for a second, hoping maybe she'd notice. Later on I was busy working and she approached me and asked "What do you have on your back?" And we talked more from there. Success.
Another thing, recently, a friend and I were out driving around looking for something to do, when another friend of ours gave me a call. She was drunk and wanted us to stop by to say hi for a few minutes. We were outside the house and she came up to the passenger window (where I was) and we all talked for a bit. I had a rice krispy treat, cause we had bought snacks while driving around, and I offered her a bite. While she tried to bite it I pulled the krispy closer to my mouth, to see if she'd kiss me. She realised what I was trying to do, and did.
Those were both long as hell and I dont feel like doing a | Lets see some good answers in the comments. |
t3_3bse8l | relationships | Me [21 M], crippled with intimacy issues and wanting advice! | I have not delved into where my problems are sourced from, but I know I have crippling anxiety when even presented with an opportunity of intimacy with another person.
Let me start by saying I haven't had sex for 2 years. I am not lacking confidence, though self consciousness is a symptom of my problem when I am talking to people I want to be with.
My problems can be summed up with:
- Around people I want to be with (sexually or otherwise) I have crippling anxiety.
- Desire to be engaged and not to engage
- Fear of rejection
Brief Relationship History:
I have had one year long relationship in High School with someone who, though they had a good sexual appetite, was not very intimate and suited me and my problems well.
A year later I had a one-night-stand with another woman both us super drunk. I frequently question myself morally in that decision and have doubted the encounter was even consensual (though deep down I believe it was).
That was two years ago. I have few friends since I moved to NYC a year or so ago. I find it impossible to reach out to them. I normally prefer to be alone or with a few closely knit people, but this is absurd how I can't even bring myself to talk to people who find me interesting and vice versa. | Desperately want to be close to people and have a relationship, but I get super anxious when presented the opportunity and never pursue it. The problem feels like its reached a peak about 2 1/2 years ago. |
t3_549bm9 | tifu | TIFU by almost breaking my foot playing Overwatch | I was having a rough day on Overwatch competitive when the saltiness got to me, I began to punch my fists pretty hard. My desk then proceeded to take the beatings then I calmed down a bit. A little later the same scenario occurred so I hit the desk a little harder (bad idea), the desk then collapsed onto my foot (bearing in mind my desk had 2 monitors, my pc and all my peripherals on it). In agony I yelled, freaking out all players in my game. I genuinely thought I was going to have to go to hospital. Oh and I broke my PC (as expected).
Note to self; dont punch harder. | I got very salty broke my desk, it collapsed onto my foot and cost about £3,000 in hardware damage. |
t3_1ism1v | relationships | I don't know if anyone else has felt this way before. I am [22/M] and engaged but I ran into a friend [22/F] who has a crush on me. | Hi, (kind of) long time reader first time poster. I've been engaged with my girlfriend [22/F] for about 4 months. Our wedding preparations are going somewhat better than expected. Of course we have some issues but nothing too major.
Anyway I have a friend who likes to hang out with my guy friends. She isn't "slutty" per say but she is single and looking. To me she was always just a cool girl who has more guy friends than girl friends. She likes my fiancee a lot and they hang out together sometimes. One day I received a text from her and we began to conversate about regular nonsense until she pulled a "I have a weird, cool crush on you". A week later I stopped all types of singular conversations (except group text messaging) with her because I too am semi attracted to her.
Her and I are very similar when it comes to personalities and likes/dislikes. I just think we met too late (I met her around 1 year after I began to seriously date my girlfriend/fiancee).
Have any of you ever felt that way? Met someone in your life too late and because of "bad timing" there's nothing you can really do about it? | One of my friends approached me and confessed she has a crush on me. I like her too but not enough to change the way my life is going. Have any of you ever met someone "too late" in life and because of "bad timing" there's nothing you can really do about it? |
t3_hpxu2 | AskReddit | Redditors I need to know if I'm justified... | Recently I just got an internship at a radio station (which is what I am going to school for) and was hired after my 100 hours were up for my internship. My girlfriend was right behind me, wanting me to succeed and knowing that the two of us would be seeing a lot less of one another because I worked from 8pm-4am (sometimes 8am) and had to sleep during the day.
It's been almost a month of me working and I've seen her as much as I can (maybe 8 times in the past month? So 2 times a week) and she has started getting angry when I say I can't see her because I need to sleep due to working that night. She just doesn't understand that seeing her means I have to sacrifice my sleep and stay up for 22+ hours in a day, then go to work on little to no sleep. On top of it, she has become increasingly clingy and I've noticed myself getting short tempered with her because of it.
I want to take a break from each other but I found out after her last ex broke up with her (she wasn't even devoted to the relationship at the end of it because he broke up with her for drugs) she stepped infront of a bus and tried to kill herself. She is head-over-heals in love with me, but I think some space might be good, I'm just afraid she will try to hurt herself and I'm not sure how to go about doing it. Clearly my attitude has changed towards her since I haven't really talked with her much in the last two weeks.
Reddit, what should I do? | New job that forces me to work nights. Seeing my girlfriend means I don't get sleep. She is becoming a little overwhelming. Should I end it with her? |
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