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t3_2nfpip | relationships | I'm (22f)Breaking up with my girlfriend (22f) of five years. Am I doing the right thing? | My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. It hasn't been the easiest of relationships, but it's certainly had it's good times. During our five years of being together, I have made many mistakes including cheating on her, ignoring her for weeks at a time and just general shitty behaviour. However, I feel like I'm not all to blame for the relationship turning sour. For our whole relationship she has kept me hidden from her family and friends, she refuses to post pictures of the two of us to social media and has made it a rule that she can only spend one night a week with me. I've never pushed my girlfriend to tell her friends or family about me because I always assumed that when she was ready she would tell them and I don't believe it's my position to come between her and her family. I'm going to break up with her today, mainly out of guilt because I feel awful for treating her so badly. Apart of me feels as though breaking up with her is selfish, and it's not the right thing to do. I also feel that I deserve better than what she's offering me and that it's okay to want to leave the relationship. I'm very conflicted Reddit, and need your help to motivate me to do the right thing! | girlfriend of five years refuses to tell her family and friends about me and I'm thinking of breaking up with her because of it. Am I doing the right thing? |
t3_4z1v8t | relationships | My [24M] dad [52M] is dying with cancer and I don't know what to do. | My dad got diagnosed with cancer a few years back. After a long period of treatment (surgery and radiation) the doctors said the cancer was gone.
We were happy with the outcome and felt like it was all over now. Unfortunately, it was not. After new visits to the hospital the doctors could tell that the cancer was back and it is non-curable. Something about it being located in a "bad" area of the body so no surgery, radiation nor chemo is possible.
In other words, there's no question that my dad will eventually die from cancer. We just don't know when.
Now to my dilemma. I live in another part of the country and I can't visit very often due to work. I spend half of the summer and Christmas back home but that's about it. I feel bad for not being there with my family during these tough times but I don't know if I have a choice. Theoretically, I could quit my job and go live with my family but I don't think I want that and I'm sure my family (including my dad) wouldn't want that. Also, we are not able to speak on the phone due to his condition so our communication/interaction is limited to those times I visit home.
What would you do in my situation? I just feel lost and I don't know what to do. I don't have many people to talk about this either so I'd really appreciate some advice/thoughts from you guys. | Dad dying with cancer. I live far away. What to do? |
t3_30l4xe | relationships | My upstairs neighbours (Fs, early 20s) scare me (23F) at night and keep me awake regularly | I live in a house that is informally divided up into 2 flats. I share the downstairs with a girl, and about 5 people live upstairs. I say it's informally divided because there's nothing preventing us from accessing their area (i.e just walk upstairs) or them from ours. We share a hall which my bedroom is off and a front door.
Anyway, every month or so one of these upstairs people (I'm assuming) gets really drunk and comes home after a night out and starts pounding on the front door, which is right beside my bedroom. The first time it happened I was really terrified as I didn't know who it was, just that there was someone trying very hard to get into my house by banging hard on the door in the middle of the night and fiddling with the keyhole. The only reason I now assume someone upstairs is doing it is because it keeps happening, and cos eventually someone comes along (from somewhere else outside) and lets them in - I assume another upstairs resident back later from her night out.
It happened last night and went on for 3 hours! It gets really scary being alone in my room and hearing someone basically about to break the door down. The reason I don't let them in is because firstly, I can't be sure if it is someone from upstairs. Secondly, whoever it is clearly sounds very drunk and aggressive. Thirdly, I'm just not comfortable opening the front door out onto the street myself in the middle of the night. I'm 5"3, there's no latch, and there was a murder five minutes from my house just two days ago.
I have told my landlady who has (according to her) spoken to them numerous times now based on my complaints. But nothing seems to have changed. I do consider calling the police but because the house is so informally divided I'm afraid they'll think I'm just wasting their time if it does turn out to be a reaident of upstairs. Who rings the police about a person trying to get into their own home? So I'm really not sure what to do about the situation. Any advice? | a person I assume is my neighbour pounds on the front door and screams in the middle of the night. I'm scared, losing sleep, and unsure what to do. |
t3_lz3b2 | AskReddit | Redditors! Help! I'm on a coffee rush - how do you avoid a caffeine crash? Any tips? | So I met a friend for coffee this morning. I was waiting in the wrong coffeeshop, so ended up downing my double espresso when I got the call. I'm not normally a big coffee drinker (that's probably obvious by nature of this post), but we ended up sitting there for about three hours, as various other friends joined and left. Also had a large slab of chocolate brownie. Guessing at about seven coffees. Suddenly noticed my legs jiggling and my heart pumping faster. Bought a ball pump; pumped up a basketball in about 45 seconds. Did my weekly grocery shopping in about ten minutes in the supermarket. Have zero concentration and need to get some work done - but fearing a sudden crash any minute... Any help out there? Anyone? | Laughably low caffeine tolerance has left me a gibbering idiot. Help. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. |
t3_v2umh | relationship_advice | [17/m] How do I restore closeness with my girlfriend? (17/f) | So, me and my best friend were very close. We would tell each other everything we went through and thought. Also, I was in love with her. I know, immature teenage love, but that's irrelevant. Long story short, we're now together. Yay, friendzone fixed, right?
Yes, but no.
She tells me she doesn't feel like she can talk to me like she used to. I'll admit, that's gone both ways, in my attempts to get this whole thing started, I became more withholding with what I told her, to keep her from re-realizing my insanity, planning to tell her those things when we were stable enough to work through it and still be together. I know, that's a red flag, I probably shouldn't have done that. But she still seemingly felt completely capable of being transparent with me, so at the time, I thought it was fine. But I don't think that really affected it so much as the change in relationship status, because everything seemed the same until we started dating, although we've never technically been able to go on even a first date because of how busy we've both been, which could also be a contributing factor.
Anyway, I'm young, I have no experience with bringing emotional intimacy back into the fold. So far, what I'm thinking I need to do is take the first step, and tell her some of the things I left out before, and try to take baby steps to break down the emotional barriers that have built up. Unfortunately, I don't have the slightest clue what those steps are. Can I get some help with that problem? | I started dating my best friend, and she doesn't feel like she can be as open with me. What do I do? |
t3_1xv5in | relationships | My [20 f] grandma [65ish f] has gotten really negative, but can't see it. | She's suffering from really bad flare up from fibro myalgia and arthritis. That's why it's happening, i think, as well as stress (my sister who reactive attachement disorder) I love her, and she's invaluable to the family, but she's making it hard for everyone, including herself
most recently:
-My grandpa has had bad memory for a long time. He gets embarrassed by this. He was supposed to stop in at the vets and pick up the cat food, but forgot. He told us this, and my grandmother, at the top of her voice, bent over, said 'YOU DIDN'T? DID YOU? UGGH. I'LL HAVE TO GO OUT ' Of course, my grandpa got embarrassed, and reacted negatively to this. She then told him 'no need to yell!', and he replied back that he was only reacting the same way she did.
my sister and I agreed, and that meant we were all 'abusing her' (her words. Literally, all we said was 'yes nanny, you did react really negatively to that') and the worst people in the world, etc.
None of this would have happened if my grandma had replied calmly, or my grandpa didn't react. I know my grandpa, and that's not going to change, however, my grandma isn't usually like this, unless she's really stressed, etc, which is why I'd like to figure out a way to approach her. I'd like to help her figure out a way to deal with her stress. I think therapy would help, (I'm pretty sure if she had better ways to deal with pain, she be much more like her old self but I think she feels she's too strong for that.)
Does anyone have any tips for me to approach this without her getting angry? | grandma not reacting well to pain and stress - would like to know what to do, for our sakes, and hers. |
t3_1cg5oj | dating_advice | [21/F] It's been a few months since I broke off my last relationship... I avoid talking to guys so I won't get hurt again... help? | Ok, I know this probably sounds really personal, but I do have a problem with dating and I need help so I thought I would come here.
Basically, I'm not even 21 and I have been through a rough dating life since I was about seventeen. The first couple "relationships" I had were brief because I found out that they were using me as a second tier girl (the first boy I was ever involved with his gf was pregnant and he "got bored," and this is the guy I lost my virginity to, no joke). This kind of set the stage for about a year and a half of bad dating.
I've dated really sweet guys but it is my underlying desire to try and "fix" them like my mom has tried to do with my stepdad. This has happened a few times too, including my most current relationship (I realized I dated him for the sole reason of helping him see how he could function better in society and tried to "fix" him) after I basically took care of a boyfriend who I dated on and off who has Aspberger's syndrome. He still wanted to get back together with me after he hadn't spoken to me in a year due to some nasty rumors that were spread about me by my ex best friend, but I didn't buy into it again. I can't fix people and being awkward is cute but you can't date someone if you don't like the way they are, and I have realized that now. | I don't want to feel like anyone's mom anymore, or feel like I am competing with another girl. |
t3_1cqzi6 | relationships | Can anyone provide a possible explanation as to why she [17F] keeps on staring at me [18M]? | So, a while back on a previous account I posted to this sub about this specific girl. I had met her in October 2011, we talked, exchanged numbers, etc. She gradually stopped texting and talking to me on a regular basis, but we still talked on occasion.
I texted her Valentines Day 2012, but she didn't respond until the following morning, which I'm now fairly sure was to avoid talking to me that night. At the beginning of the following March, I texted her asking if I had offended her. She replies no. I have my previous post open right now, so here's what I sent her word for word: "Ok good, it's just that you don't usually say anything when we see each other, so I thought I might have done something".
She then deletes me off of Facebook a couple days later, but doesn't block me saying that she deleted people she didn't talk to. Being furious and heart-broken, I didn't believe her, so I came here and posted a *much* longer version of this. Thankfully, the commenters made it very clear to me that I was over thinking the situation.
That's the back story, and since that March or April we haven't talked to each other. I eventually got over her, and with the help of some friends, my social awkwardness has gone down.
Here's what this question has been leading to. Ever since the beginning of this school year, she has been staring at me. 90% of the time when we walk past each other, she's looking in my direction. And it's not as if she glances at me, she flat-out **stares** at me for around 10 seconds. Does anyone have an idea as to why she does this? I know it's probably nothing, but it's starting to make me uncomfortable. | I used to be infatuated with a girl, she probably wasn't with me. She stops talking to me and we haven't talked in around a year. Now she won't stop staring at me and I don't know why. |
t3_2xssz1 | tifu | TIFU by pulling out a nose hair | For the past few days I have been sick with a cold with the major symptom being a runny nose. Today (hey look at that, it actually happened today), I woke up and felt 100% better. Made it through half my morning without blowing my nose and thought 'great, that's done with'.
About 30 minutes ago, I notice a particularly long and sturdy hair made it past the most recent nose trim. No problem, I'll just duck behind my computer out of my coworkers' sights, and rip that sucker out.
Instantly, I knew I made a huge mistake. I had gotten so used to mouth breathing over the last few days that I hadn't considered the possibility that my nose never stopped running, but instead had piled up in a clog awaiting an opportunity to unleash all of its nastiness in spectacular fashion. The resulting sneeze left me with a handful of thick green snot. I had to shuffle past my disgusted coworkers and basically bath in the sink to get rid of mess. | Ripped out nose hair, snot explosion. |
t3_2g490l | relationships | Me [18 M/] with my ___ [18 F] 19 months, she asked for a brake (pause) | After a year and a half, my GF asked for a "brake" because she was feeling there was missing something.
Its been a week now and she texted me one night if I was going well. We had a normal conversation yesterday but she ended it up by saying "well the brake doesnt seem to work" I tried to explain that maybe this means we maybe dont need it but she insisted on the fact that she needs to think on if she misses me or continue on her way.
Its a real torture to wait without texting her. I'm open to advices on what I can do during this. | she asked for a break and it's been a week. Feels like she is not interrested in talking. |
t3_pimgi | AskReddit | Has anyone successfully avoided Sprint's ETF? I have no idea if my reason for leaving with waive the ETF. | Basically it's this. I have a the HTC Arrive on Sprint. I LOVE wp7 and it's heartbreaking to hear Sprint's not loving them back. Not too heartbreaking since their terrible speeds and spotty service kills most of the enjoyment I could stand to get. Anyways, since day 1 of this phone it hasn't been able to text over 160 characters even though the user manual and feature list says specifically that it will. Many users have filed complaints about it to Sprint/MS/HTC and they fail to fix or even respond to the issue. Is there any precedent for using this to get out of a contract? I signed a contract when I purchased this phone and the phone doesn't do things it says it does. | My Sprint phone doesn't do something the manual says it does. Will this allow me to get out of my contract ETF-free and get a provider that offers better speeds, coverage, and wp7 devices? |
t3_nzf7g | AskReddit | My gay friend is threatening to tell my fiancee about gay sex we used to have, how do I stop him? | He's my best friend and we grew up together and used to do pretty typical sexual experiments. We'd watch porn and jerk off together at 10. Then that proceeded to mutual touching, then eventually full blown sex.
This continued sporadically throughout high school, even while I was in relationships. He never dated and is now openly gay. I am completely straight but a horny bastard who likes having my dick sucked.
When I met my fiancee senior year we continued on for a while, but after we slept together I gave him up other than a few bjs in the adjustment period.
That was five years ago. I never cheated on her after that and love her. We are getting married soon. But he told me if I don't tell her he will. He says she has a right to know I am gay (am not) and cheated on her (five years ago).
But if I tell her she may think I am gay and may not trust me anymore. This girl is my life. I don't want to lose her because of stupid shit in the past. | my gay best friend I fooled around with as a kid is threatening to break up my engagement if I don't tell my fiancee about childhood gay sex acts, this can't happen. |
t3_10uhce | AskReddit | Reddit, I am going to court for a driving offence, should I wear my glasses? | Turns out that I have to go to court for driving while my license was suspended for a month because I had too many speeding tickets. I was stupid for going out on the night my license expired, I didn't check the time. Anyway, I am a taxi driver in Ontario and have been driving cabs for 6 years. I read that wearing glasses in court will make some people seem more intelligent or honest, which is not what I am necessarily going for. I just don't want to seem BLIND and seem a hazard to everyone else on the road. My eyesight is -6.5 and the thick lenses I wear on black wrap frames make it look like there is another dimension of repeating light cascades with tiny pupils at the end of the illusion. Of course I can see just fine with them, but should I wear them or spring on contact lenses? | I am too cheap for contact lenses |
t3_1y6j8c | relationships | Me [25F] with my ex-SO [27M] of one year. Is it breaking NC to return items without seeing/talking to the him? Also, what do I do when I see him at work functions? And other questions | I broke up with my SO for the final time last week after an extremely draining and difficult relationship. I implemented NC on this past Thursday. Because he wanted to continue talking and I don't trust myself not to answer, I had to block him on my phone, Facebook, email, and snap chat.
I've been using his comforter and some pillows at my house but would like to return them as they really belong to his parents, and I don't want to be a thief. He actually mentioned to me right before we quit talking that his parents wanted them back as well. Would it be breaking the NC rule to bag them up and drop them off outside his house? Or maybe next to his car so they don't get stolen off his front porch? Does that make me look insane for me to give him his stuff back while he's blocked? Should I just let it go? We don't have any mutual friends in town, or I would ask someone else to do it.
Also, we will eventually have to see each other at community/work functions because we're both involved in the same organizations. How should I handle it when I see him out? I am going to try and avoid anything he'll be at for a while, but I know eventually we'll run into each other.
My other concern related to seeing him out: with one of my ex-boyfriends, I went NC for about four months, saw him out, broke down and contacted him, and then started the cycle of shit right back up again. I do not want to do this here. Can anyone give me some advice on how not to go back once some time has passed and I'm (hopefully) not as ragingly pissed off as I am now? He is extremely manipulative and will take any opportunity I give to let him back in my life, I'm sure. | Should I drop my ex's stuff off at his house without communicating with him? How do I handle it (and not go back to him) when I see him out? |
t3_zge6m | jobs | Anyone have any idea on how to approach the royal mail with this massive problem? | Hi guys its my first post here, lurking for a while because i've been unemployed for a very, very long time.
I applied for a royal mail postman job near my area, it looked like an amazing job and suited me to the ground, it would be my first job ever.
Skip forward about 3 days and i received an email telling me i have an interview, i was over the moon, i have been unemployed for 2 years now and have only had 1 interview in that time.
I attend the interview which i thought went very well and apparently it did because they contacted me a week later telling me i was successful and they would contact me with more details.
At this point i was completely floored with happiness, i even had a party to celebrate.
Then today came and i received an email from royal mail telling me that they are informing me that i have withdrawn my own application from the position and wish me luck in my future applications.
Right now i'm fuming, i did not request them to withdraw it at all but i thought its ok ill just contact them and explain/find out what is happening.
But heres the real problem, there is absolutely no way of contacting the recruitment team at all, i managed to phone customer service and get the hr department email but apparently it is invalid and not listed on the domino directory(?)
Does anyone have any ideas/recommendations/previous experience regarding this?
Many thanks | Royal mail tell me i was successful with my job interview only to tell me a few days later that i had requested to be withdrawn from the job position which is completely untrue, literally no way to contact at all, really really angry and sad |
t3_18pdqb | relationships | (24m) made a drunken pass at a friend last night. Need advice about how to tell my 7 month gf (21) about it. | Been in a relationship for seven months, and overall it's going great. Last night I went out with a group of friends without the gf, and I've had a crush on one of them for a long time. She started talking about her problems with her current boyfriend, and later that night (on the verge of blacking out) I cornered her, confessed my long held feelings, got a little handsy, and just generally made a complete ass of myself.
I'm terrified that this is going to be a deal breaker for my relationship. Despite what I said last night, I have no wish to see it end and can't believe what a stupid fucking mistake I made. I've resolved to tell my gf as soon as possible, but I have no idea what to say.
I've never gotten even this close to cheating on someone, and I just don't know what to do. Any advice or experiences, especially from someone who's been in my gf's shoes, would be greatly appreciated. | confessed feelings I've had for a friend at a bar, freaking out about how to tell my girlfriend and salvage the relationship |
t3_1pzp8c | relationships | I think I have a problem. | I cant talk to my s/o about this because he already thinks im crazy and i dont have good enough friends who actually keep their mouths shut about other people, so here i am.
I am 22/f. I have been in LTRs since i was 16 years old, with people of all personality types and backgrounds. For some reason, they all turned out badly.
The first one, lasting 4 years, ended with him getting into hard drugs, teamed up with him already being an alcoholic, and becoming abusive.
The second one, almost 2 years, ended with him having fetishes he was uncomfortble expressing to me, leading him to cheat on me multiple times. I left as soon as i found out, but i have no idea how long he held out before he told me.
These all had similar red flags which im capable of spotting from a mile away now. The relationship im currently in has been going on since late April. We live together, so i notice little stuff. He isnt abusive, no harmful addictions, etc.
When he first moved in with me, he was crazy clingy, which i liked. As of recently, hes become increasingly distant, getting aggravated with me, wants to spend less time with me. Every time this has happened in previous relationships, they ended soon after.
Ive tried to talk to him about it, he just says im crazy and gets annoyed when i try explaining myself. But he barely even replies to my texts, doesnt invite me out with him anymore, and hardly even has conversations with me. It just seems like hes bored being around me.
Our sex life hasnt changed a bit. Just whenever i even wana go out and do something couples do, he doesnt want to be bothered.
I dont know what to do. Im not sure if hes talking to another girl or what; i dont want to go thru his phone or anything, just like i woudnt want him to invade my privacy. Im just at a loss.. | having issues with current boyfriend while having insecurity issues due to past relationships, he wont communicate and just calls me crazy. Advice needed. |
t3_15k7y9 | offmychest | Long distance relationships suck | Been with my (one and only, ever) boyfriend for over 8 years now. Earlier this year I moved overseas to study while he stayed behind. For the most part it's been ok, with us skyping most days, but over the holidays, the distance really sucks. The main thing I want to get off my chest is the temptation to cheat. Even when we were in the same city, I've been curious about making out (or more) with other people, particularly girls, but I do love my boyfriend, so I haven't. (I think I'm bi, or at least bi-curious, but yea, haven't tried anything with a girl so can't confirm/deny). Every time we fight now, I almost feel like I want to break it off with him just so I can experiment or experience relationships with other people, but when we make up I remember why I love him. Sigh. | I love my boyfriend but I'm curious about other people. |
t3_5119d6 | tifu | TIFU By smoking in the bathroom | Im not supposed to smoke in the house(ok im not supposed to smoke at all, but my doctor advised a slow taper down to reduce the anxiety it causes me to quit) but every now and then i sneak one in the bathroom while i take a shit and browse reddit. Its my ten minuets of peace.
Well since im not allowed to smoke indoors theres no ashtray in the bathroom, so i just drop the cig in the toliet when i stand up.
Well today i got lazy, decided to drop the buring cig between my legs into the toliet before i stood up so i could flush before i stood, because the smell...
For starters im not a small woman, i also currently due to pregnancy cant see my crotch to shave so the bush is untamed. Well not a moment after i smell burning hair then feel pain. See in my haste to put the thing into the toliet it got caught in my pubes, so it took a moment to burn my skin.
Despite having not yet wiped my ass i lept off the toliet and into the tub. In hindsight i should have just reached down and grabbed the damn thing but pain makes you do stupid things. The cool water from the showet put out the cig, but im now missing a small patch of hair and sporting a lovely burn in a place one doesnt want a burn.
I have an ice pack between my legs, my husband is laughing at me so hard he can't muster getting mad at me, and i officially quit smoking today cause this ruined it for me. | burned my crotch with a lit cig trying to put it out in the toliet. |
t3_2jwb67 | relationships | My[24 M] girlfriend[21 F] of 1 year is too embarrassed to attend a family function, because she cannot speak. | My wonderful girlfriend of almost 1 year now, was born with malformed
vocal chords. Despite an attempt at surgery, she is unable to speak. I've never given a shit about that. I learnt sign language and even though it has been tough, I'm able to communicate with her. She can hear and comprehend English perfectly. She's always had self esteem issues because of that. She is incredibly attractive and guys approached her all the time, but turned away when they learnt about her disability.
We've been in an awesome relationship for a year now. I'm her first, everything. I've enjoyed every moment with her and we're even considering moving in together.
Anyway, my sister's wedding is coming up. I need a date. I obviously cannot take anybody else, but my girlfriend. But she's too scared of being rejected by my family. I keep telling her that nothing like that's going to happen, but still she's very very scared. Now, we've discussed about marriage and a future together and naturally its time she met my family.
Anything I can do to change her mind/help her ? I don't want to force this on her, but eventually she'll have to meet my folks... | Mute girlfriend is terrified of meeting my family. |
t3_500mp2 | relationships | How can I (24F) stop flipping out on my (30m) bf? | My bf and I have been together 3 years, and as it seems every couple of weeks I blow up at him. I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship and we don't see my bf very often. His work commute, my work commute, living 45 min from each other..we are lucky to see each other once every two weeks. I just get to Fed up, and wish he'd make the extra effort to see each other more often although I know it's selfish for me to ask him to when he's so tired. We're moving in together in a few months but he's said a few times he can't handle my "peaks and valleys"...and I know he's going to end the relationship if I don't figure it out. How can I be more understanding, and basically less crazy? He is so good to me and I'd be lost without him. I'm calling a counsellor tomorrow, I think maybe having someone to talk to night help. | How can I be more understanding of my boyfriends needs when I feel lonely, and speak in anger? |
t3_1r7cf5 | relationships | Me [22F] with guys I date for around 3 months or less. | I used to model, I have wonderful friendships with people. I seem to be very well liked. It's very easy for me to begin relationships with men who are very wonderful people. I can easily get laid.
What seems to be the problem is I date nice guys and they don't want to become serious. They act like my boyfriends, but when it comes time to commit after three months of saying how amazing and nice I am, I finally bring up the topic of being exclusive and they tell me that they "aren't in a relationship place" and drift away.
What do you think I'm doing wrong? I'm not about to start playing games or anything.. but I am the type of girl who's a freak in the sheets but also you can take home to mom. So... I don't get it. Any guy's perspectives?
I don't "give it away too soon", and I don't want to hear it regardless. I know that's not a real reason. Most of my friends who are dudes ended up dating a girl who slept with them on the first date. I hang out with a progressive crowd and that's not the reason, I know for certain. | I've got the goods but can't close. Any advice what's wrong with me? |
t3_2wnypt | tifu | TIFU by going to work today | I will preface this by saying that I am an idiot.
I recently moved to an area where it snows much more frequently than I am used to, and it's coming down pretty hard today. My office is closed, but many employees still went in to get some work done (I am an accountant; fuck taxes). I was one of those employees. I also drive a RWD sedan. And I wore dress shoes to work. You see where this is going.
I leave after a few hours since the roads were getting kinda bad. I only live about 2 miles from my office, but there are some decent sized hills on the way home. My car can't do shit in the snow, and I quickly realize that I'm not going to make it up the hill. So I throw it in reverse, turn to go down the hill and turn into a parking lot of a Burger King (Home of the Whopper^TM) that's about 1.25 miles away from my place. With no other options, I start walking up the hill, with a backpack filled with a laptop and work I need to get done (fuck taxes).
I get to the top of the hill. I was on the home stretch. I could feel it in my balls. Then I let out a "FUUUUU^uuuuu^uuuuccckkkk". Not because I was relieved I had made it up the hill, but because I realized that I left my apartment key in my car (I took it off my keychain this morning so I could go start my car to let it warm up, and then lock up my place. Yeah I know.)
I walk back down the hill. I get my key. I walk back up the hill and the rest of the way. I just made it home, and my toes don't seem to be frostbitten or anything. | Fuck the snow. Fuck taxes. I'm billing the rest of the day to general/admin. |
t3_nbpms | AskReddit | What is the best (most inspirational, funniest, or entertaining) story you have seen on reddit, and how has it affected you? | I recently posted my very first question on askreddit and was surpised by one comment, I mean there were all the stereotypical comments that askreddit has, such as the random wtf comments to the clever little comments that make you smile a little, and of course the comments that actually pertained to what happened, but this one comment was simply commenting on a random detail in my story, "The thought of you grabbing a wooden sword to defend yourself from a possible home intruder has made my day" and that got me to think. How have random stories from reddit affected me? The more I thought about it the more I realized that I'd quote the story to friends, or whether it inspired me to actually change my outlook on the world, just a little bit, or if I'm hearing a friend's horrible date story, and I think "Wow, that reminds me of that story on reddit" and laugh to myself. So maybe it is just me. Maybe I take it a little to much to heart, but I'm curious has any story/comment on reddit, just "made your day"? | what is the best story on reddit you can think of, and how has it affected you? |
t3_gky42 | AskReddit | What would you do if you found out your best friend who you thought was normal was a sexual deviant who liked 13 year old minor, not even sure if it's boys or girls? | I'm from New Jersey, and a person I considered one of my best friends had moved out to Cali. Another friend and I went out to visit him. We literally had the time of our lives out there. We are 25, and our friend in Cali is 28. Long story short I get the call Yesterday, our friend got caught trying to solicit a minor online, and send nude pictures of himself to said minor. We bailed him out, we spoke with him briefly, and he is no moron, he went to a great school, had a great job out there. I know morally speaking I would completely against this and if I was a conscientious observer I would want the guy to rot in jail. Bottom line is I just don't get he was able to get women, good looking guy, always had some girl lined up. I'm still in shock.. So I wonder if any of you out there have been in this kind of situation, his exact words to us were "I'm fucked". So jail time is going to happen for sure. Anyway I digress, I guess my questions what do you do when he enters back into society, are you still his friend or do you drop him like a bad habbit? | One of my best friends for the last 15 years likes 13 year old minors, and got caught trying to have sex with one via one of those to catch a predator things, I think this is gross, but this guy was my best friend. How do I act towards him now? |
t3_2swpds | relationships | I [28m] am thinking about asking my gf [29f] to move in, but my ideas of a living arrangement aren't traditional | My girlfriend and I have been together over a year, and my roommate is planning on moving out soon, and it feels like it's time that my girlfriend and I move in together. I feel like my expectations of that are tremendously different than what is generally expected out of a relationship, and I'm curious if I'm in the wrong or if it's too unusual.
Basically, I'd want us to have separate rooms. Naturally, we'd spend the night in each other's rooms most of the time. She's here as frequently as our schedules allow and she's always in my room, and it's great. I'd just want that buffer, for if our schedules don't line up, or if one of us is working on something, or if one of us is doing something that the other isn't interested in. It'd also be nice if we could each adorn a space that is specifically our own, individually.
I just don't know how to pose this idea without being insulting. In the town I grew up in, almost all parents that shared a room got divorced, and the parents that, for one reason or another, had separate rooms, stayed (seemingly) happily married. This has resonated even more with me in relationships where I lived with a girlfriend, and either her interests or mine were a burden on the other. It just feels like a natural kind of situation to me, but I'm totally aware that it's unconventional. I just think there will be nights that I either want to work on something important, or indulge in a hobby that she doesn't share, and she'll be in the same position.
I dunno, is it selfish of me to expect my own space? And if not, how do I present this idea without seeming personally dismissive? I dunno how to put my personal experience into words, and I don't know how normal or damaging it sounds. | Want my girlfriend to move in, but I want us to have our own rooms for nights when we could theoretically enjoy ourselves or be more productive on our own than with the other. |
t3_2c17yw | loseit | Gaining it back | So I lost all my weight in college and then throughout my first summer out of school working manual labor. I now have a job where I sit inside for 24-72 hours in a small room that doubles as a kitchen and a day room. I cannot go outside and there is nowhere else in the building to go until I am dispatched out on call. I am usually out for about an hour or two and then back in the same room. The problem I face is that a majority of my coworkers are obese and bring in the most unhealthy food to share. In the outside world I can generally say no, but after 12+ hours of staring at cake I end up caving. I have started to slowly start putting back on the pounds.
Any tips to help break the cycle? I already drink fluids and chew gum like a mad person. | Living the willpower nightmare, locked in a room with cake. How do I not eat the cake. |
t3_1jzx1j | dogs | Is it cruel to leave a dog home alone? | Hello! I assume there will be different schools of thought on this, but I really want to hear a lot of different arguments so please give me any advice you can!
My fiance and I adopted a 4 yr old mcnab, boarder collie, pit bull (and probably a bunch of other things) mix almost 3 months ago. He has been great and we love him soooo much! He was already house trained and has only ever been destructive by accident.
We both work all day, so he is here for 8-10 hours alone during the week. He is always very excited when we come home, but I get the impression that he is contented while we are gone.
Because we are gone for so much time during the week, my fiance feels that we really shouldn't leave him alone any other time. He has never owned a dog before, but always wanted one. My family has had dogs since I was a baby and I'm used to having them be part of the family, but thinking it isn't cruel to leave them home if you are going out for the night or a reasonable period of time (~6 hours).
So what are your opinions on the situation? Is the dog really suffering when we aren't here?
Thank you! | Is it OK to leave your dog home alone? Or is he suffering? |
t3_3h6s1b | relationships | Friend [19 M] with gal [21 F]- closure? Sticky situation | So basically this isn't about me but I was wondering what people of reddit thought about this; I have a close friend who was in an intense relationship with a chick for 7/8months but he sort of fell out of love with her gradually. It was a tough break up for her since she still liked him.
Anyway, said friend has moved on with another lass; ex-gal doesn't know but probably has suspected something was going on (even during their relationship), awkward thing is during their relationship they decided it was a good thing (it's not) to live together. I've advised him it's best to talk with his ex-gal to give her some closure as well as a sign of respect and consideration to let her know instead of her hearing it through secondary sources. But it's a difficult situation and he freaks out at the thought of having to talk to her about it. | Uni. Close friend broke up with gf. She didn't take it well. He moved on to another gal quite quickly. However, they're living in the same house next year for uni. She probably doesn't know but may have suspected it. |
t3_1oxs2s | pettyrevenge | To the guy's who girlfriend was a librarian, you got off easy. | I started dating a librarian in college after meeting her in the library. We had an awesome few months in our senior year. It turned out some of our friends were friends already in the same social circles. A few months into the relationship, I wasn't really feeling it and decided to end it. She did not want to break up and was really upset. She seemed to take it like a champ though because within a few weeks she was already dating another guy who was a friend of mine.
A few months later, graduation was rolling around and when I applied to get my degree the school told me I had to pay my library fees in order to graduate. I thought it was weird because I never used the library except for the computer lab. That was how I met the girl in the first place. Well, I inquired with the library how much I owed and it was over $1000 in book fines for never returned romance books. I never checked out a book in my life from that library. I got my friend who was still dating her to ask about it and he said she was oddly suspicious about it, but didn't admit to anything. I guess she didn't find comfort in my friend after all. | Be careful dating librarians, they can run up tons of fees on your account and not let you graduate. |
t3_w8zy2 | relationships | Am I being too clingy, or am I in the right to be upset? | Okay, so quick background. We've been talking for about a month or so, and this girl is great. Everything about up until this point has seemed perfect.
Now, my problem is that, as of last week, she has been rarely responding to my texts and I haven't really hangout with her. We were continuously hanging out everyday and texting/calling each other non stop. Then it just stopped. I haven't seen her in a week, she's been hanging with friends a lot and she's already made it clear awhile ago that when she's with friends or drinking, she rarely texts at all.
Problem is, now it's affecting us hanging out. We had plans to chill all day today, and instead she hasn't left her friends house from last night. They had some sort of girls night for her friends bday. But she just apologize and said she wouldn't be home in time at all to hangout today.
So am I wrong for being upset, or do I sound to clingy and maybe should I back off?
Also, how should I approach her that this is making me upset?
She's a great girl I believe, and i know it's early on but she's awesome aside from this. | Am I being to clingy with a girl I've been talking to for a month? |
t3_3eti7s | relationships | I (23 M) think my gf (22 F) is more than just friends with her "bff", what do I do? | So I have been seriously dating this girl for 4 years now who I met in college and actually lives in the town next to mine, and until this summer things were good. Hell they were great. Now she has a guy friend, we'll call him Andrew, who has been her friend since they were kids and they graduated together. I am a very nice guy and always tried to strike up a friendship with Andrew. However...
The dude HATES me. He is an awkward guy, quiet, and she says he was always bullied in high school. I am confident and talkative so I guess he always felt intimidated by that, as if I was going to start bullying him which I would never do. He also always had strong feelings for her which she knew about and that probably is a strong contributing factor to him disliking me.
Anyways I have no problem with someone I am dating to have guy friends, I have no problem if they hang out without me. Jealousy is not a healthy thing.
But lately they have been hanging out all the time, while she will blow me off to hang with him. By the all the time, I mean almost every time I ask her to hang out. They are going out to dinner together at really nice restaurants, posting very flirty snapchats, and the few times we are together she is smiling at her phone and texting him.
She seems annoyed if I ask her to hang, is short with me, pretty much acts like I don't exist.. Like I said this behavior between the two of them is VERY recent to this summer.
I really hate to think negatively but I am pretty sure something is budding between them and I am being pushed out. I will sound like such a dick saying this but I couldn't even fathom what would make her prefer him. I am a college graduate, I am a decently good looking guy (she is good looking herself), I am sociable, friendly and funny. He has a terrible hygiene, is very nasty to everyone besides her, works as a busboy at a restaurant with no plans to better himself.
Do you agree something is up? How do I go from here the best way? | Girlfriend of 4 years and her male "bff" who dislikes me are increasingly getting closer while her and I drift apart. |
t3_1qakrh | relationships | I [18M] feels like I need a girlfriend. I feel desperate. | So, i'm an 18 year old freshman in college and I feel so lonely. I feel like I need to be in a relationship to be happy. I've only been in one real relationship and it really screwed me up. I'm over her now. But now, I feel lonely. I feel like I need someone to be happy. I just want to have someone to care for and to care for me again.
I feel so pathetic saying all of this, but it's the truth. I'm just so sad and lonely. I have nothing to really do in life besides go to school, produce music, and cars.
I also dress nice and maintain my appearance. | I feel like I need a girlfriend and I feel sad/lonely. What's going on? What should I do? Why am I like this? |
t3_2jh8on | tifu | TIFU: By ordering Pizza | So this happened a couple of weeks back, around one or two.
Now how could a human being possible cause a fuck up from ordering Pizza? Well when you have parents who put so much effort into cooking you food and leaving it in the fridge for you to eat it later.... That could lead it to a fuck up.
They were out at work and they usually return very late, I was hungry and I didn't feel like eating the stuff they left me, I was feeling up for some Pizza. So I head over to Pizza's hut site and order Two large Cheese Pizzas with extra garlic. I pay everything VIA credit card cause' I CBF carrying money with me anymore (For reasons which I choose not disclose). Whatever. They take my order in and send it my way.
This is where the fuck up happens... My parents get home from work, coincidentally at the same time the Pizza arrives.
Since I already paid for the Pizza via credit card, they just take it from the delivery guy and then ring the doorbell.
I am greeted with 2 mad parents, giving me a death stare holding my Pizza in their hands.
Needles to say, They both ate the Pizza and I was forced to watch them eat it without getting a single bite of it.... Not to mention I lost like 25 or something dollars because they didn't give me the money I spent back to me and now they are mad at me.
So yeah, I kinda fucked up pretty bad.... | Ordered Pizza, Paid with Credit card, Parents arrive home at same time as Pizza guy, Parents take Pizza and eat it in front of me. |
t3_4niazu | relationships | She makes me so mad sometimes | Umm hi i doubt this is the right place to ask advice, but i dont know where else i should ask.
So me (18) and my gf (18) have been together for 2 years. We met each other when we were both hospitalized for depression ( better love story than twilight right)
But well since we went both went through a lot we understood each other. And eventually i fell in love with her and confessed. She was still with her ex back then and well it was really complicated for a few months.
But we ended up being together, now she deals really bad with stress, daily stuff like taking the bus, a train, going outside,... Thats hard for us both.
But i still take 2 busses and a train 3 days a week so i can go see her. She never comes to my house. That used to irritate me but i'm over that now. I help her go to her therapist, clean her room, do chores,...
I do a lot for her, becauze i love her. And i dont expect that she does anything back for it. But last week my sis ( i havent seen her for 2 years) invited me and my girlfiend to her house. We were supposed to go tomorrow.
But like 10 minutes ago my girlfriend said she didnt wanna go, that she was too stressed. Normally i would well be a bit dissapointed but thats just it. But i havent seen my sis in a long while, and my sis really wants to meet my girlfriend.
I feel like i do a lot for my girlfriend, but she doesnt do a lot effort for me. | Idk should i be mad at her? Or would that make me a jerk? |
t3_4hqkdc | cats | Cat attack! | Ok so my girlfriends Cat Is 2.5 years old. She was always slightly aggressive and would lunge randomly. So I suggested she go get fixed and it may help. Well nope, it got worse. Now she hisses and bites at anyone after being totally fine. She will lay in bed with us all night and be ok. But if I stand up or walk across my girlfriends bedroom she bolts and attacks me. Gives my leg a real thrashing. She has even met me at the top of the stairs when I came over when her and her roommates were gone. The cat was trying to attack me through the door at the top of the stairs. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm a dog guy and never had an inside cat. We told the vet and he gave her diazapan(spelling?) And that just made her wobbly and she tore up my girlfriends arm. We aren't sure what to do at this point and my girlfriend will be heart broken if we have to get rid of the cat. Any tips? | CAT WAS AGGRESSIVE. CAT GOT FIXED. CAT IS NOW WAY MORE AGGRESSIVE AND ATTACKS UNPROVOKED. HELP. |
t3_la8yz | AskReddit | My girlfriend admitted to having "urges and curiosities". Help me, Reddit. | Okay so a little background: My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year now. We're both 19 and have changed from a very clingy relationship to a more open one. By open, I mean hanging out with different people, doing different things, etc. She's been saying she feels lost lately and tonight she admitted that she misses having "crushes" and the excitement of a new relationship. She made sure to tell me that she loves me, and never wants to lose me.
However, she did make a point to suggest that we try each hooking up with someone else. I was taken aback. I told her I understand that she feels like she wants something new, and that people get bored sometimes but that the idea of going outside of the relationship and kissing someone else really doesn't sit well with me. I thought about it and I just don't know what to do. A part of me says if we both do it once we can avoid jealousy and she can find what she really wants, but the other part of me says that this isn't a solution.
I know I should follow my instincts, and I usually do, but this situation has left me dumbfounded. What could come of this? Is this a good idea? Reddit, please advise me. I really need it. | My girlfriend of over a year wants to try and kiss someone else in an attempt to re-energize our relationship and give us more direction. I am afraid of the consequences. |
t3_1cboa9 | AskReddit | DAE notice that some girls will hold the back of there pants as a latch ditch effort for you to not get a full view? | This just may be a wild theory of mine but I'd like to get a discussion going.
I began to notice back in high school when girls would wear yoga pants or skin tight jeans that for some reason even though the pants are tight as hell they walk around holding the pants right above there ass. Now I thought maybe it was just a co-incidence and maybe they're making sure their butt crack isn't showing. But until recently my theory has been re-evaluated by recent events.
My girlfriends younger brother is dating a girl with a what I'll call a nice toosh. Every so often I'll take a glance, not stare, just you know as shes walking past basically, small peeks. But recently I noticed, she sometimes walks holding the back of her pants up. Most of the time it's when wearing tight pants.
I feel this goes along with Chappelle's joke/statement about how woman dress. Comparing it to a police officer saying, "Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer".
If your making the decision to wear skin tight pants, you must know people are going to look, especially if the curvature is right. I understand that it may feel uncomfortable if people do stare, but in the same token couldn't it also be in some light, a compliment. You know validating that you do have a nice body? Like when people stare a little too long at your significant other. You could either get jealous that some random person is staring or realize you've done good for yourself. | I've noticed that some girls who wear skin tight pants will walk holding their pants right above there ass/ waist. Is this an attempt to kind of shield your body from full view? I've always wondered about this and would like to get others opinions. |
t3_1pd63f | relationships | I [17] can't seem to... befriend this girl [17] | So basically, I'm the guy where I have my group of friends and I've never really strayed away from that. But this is my senior year, and in all four of my core classes, I have this girl in there. Now I'm not trying to date her or anything, just straight trying to be a friend, to kind of broaden my base. But in all of the classes she's really acts like she's a friend and like chill..
This is hard to explain because I'd never thought I'd have to ask how to make a friend. But let me continue. So I've known this girl from like early middle school, I've just never talked to her a bunch. But first few weeks of school, she asked for us to exchange numbers since we have all of these class, and we end up trading homework a lot. Well she was saying how she wanted to go to a haunted house, blah blah blah we have a mutual friend that was already going with us, she says she would go, ends up never answering any text about it, and she ended up telling me that she went to one already because we didn't invite her. So basically she really only answers texts if it's school related, and never really wants to talk outside of school. Once again, no intentions at all of dating this girl, I just want to know why it's so fucking hard to make a friend. I'm not sure if she thinks I'm trying to date her or what. But idunno. She's still really cool in school, but get out of school and nothing. Maybe I should face the reality that I'm not going to graduate with a lot of friends I guess. Just my 6-10 that I've always had.
Sorry for it being so long, but I'm genuinely confused if I'm doing anything wrong, or if it's just that hard to make new friends... | Im a guy, who cannot befriend this girl outside of school. |
t3_1pta5a | relationships | Me [18 M] is scared that my girlfriend [18 F] is doing things behind my back and have proof as well. | My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 9 months. We met through roleplay and have been going strong ever since, and we both quit rp. Recently she's been a lot more busy than usual and never has a chance to talk to me. I confronted her about my concerns and she stated that she has not even a minute for me. I found it hard to believe, but sucked it up because I love her and want this to work.
Today I was taking a look at some social media that she has. One thing led to another and I found a page listing every way to contact her, although the one's that she has me on she said she cannot add them because "My boyfriend gets jealous xD" I dug a little more and found a site that she's been posting her writings to lately when she said that she has no time for me.
How do I approach her about this? I'm not suppose to know about these things. I need help reddit. | Girlfriend is choosing other things over me and it scares me. |
t3_2u59ed | dating_advice | Advice: I [22 M] brought up the defining the relationship talk to [21 F] too early. | I brought up the idea of becoming exclusive to her too early. We have been dating/seeing each other for 4 weeks now, have had sex, she spends the night, we hang out multiple nights a week etc. I thought that was just what people did and wasn't aware of the fact that people set timelines instead of just what felt right. She said she did like me but then said she thought it was too early to define but she also wasn't sleeping with anyone else either. How do I recover from this?
I thought about talking to her the next time we were together and saying that I was sorry for bringing it up so early I just want to let things grow naturally and that I'll be patient. But I feel this would be a lot of pressure casually dating someone who wants to date you and I don't want her to feel that way. Any advice would be great. | Brought up exclusivity/relationship talk to early, how to recover? |
t3_389ra8 | relationships | a friend (18m) of mine's(18m) family just found out that his dad cheated on his mom | my best friend told me that his parents had been having a hard time the past few weeks or so.
just today, he tells me he he's had a bad day and i ask why.
he says just because some life changing shit just happened this morning.
then he tells me that his dad cheated on his mom and they just all found out this morning.
of course he's acting sad and out of it
i know these next few weeks are probably gonna be shitty, but what's the best thing i can do as a friend to help out? | friends dad cheated on his mom, friend acting depressed, what can i do to help out? |
t3_3d4a30 | relationships | Me [16 M] with a girl [15 F] How do I meet a girl whom I havent met and dont have any good mutual friends? | About 3 years ago, when I was always walking to the train station, and girl would get off the bus which stopped at the station. She was really cute but didn't catch my train and so I essentially never got to talk to her. I thought she was really really cute so I tried to find her on Facebook but I couldn't.
The next year she stopped catching the bus. I'm guessing it was because she moved to another suburb nearby or something.
Today, almost 3 years later, I found her on Facebook by chance when I was looking through one of my friends photos. Honestly, I almost cried I couldn't believe it. I was like shocked.
I looked out our mutual friends and we only had one of whom I was like sort of friends with. So I popped up to her and before I could even start up a proper conversation she started replying with short "yes", "aha ok" etc. No essentially, the one friend who could have set us up isnt interested in being friends with me anymore.
So how do I meet this girl. I could add her on Facebook and talk to her but that will be really sketchy and creepy. Her friend aint interested so shes out of the mix. I don't really go to any parties that she goes to because she is in the year below and goes to a school completely different to mine.
How can I meet her? | How can i meet a girl whom I only seen from a distance who I find really cute without her thinking I am a creep when the only mutual friend between us doesnt want to be friends with me anymore. |
t3_1ksb1m | self | I want to spend a year on the West Coast before college, but I have no idea where to start | I am set to graduate highschool this year, but Im not sure what I should do afterwards.
Up until today, I had been planning on going straight to college after I finished my senior year, but now I am having second thoughts. I feel that now is the best time to travel, while Im not tied down with student loans, relationships, and a real career, and all the other responsibilities being an adult entails. Whats the rush, right?
After a little bit of thought I decided I really want to go out to a city out in the Northwest. Im thinking about spending a year somewhere out there, and seeing where I end up. Who knows?
There are so many problems I still have to work out though, like;
- What city should I go to?
Im looking for a city with a lot of great oppurtunities for an aspiring, young artist.
- Where will I stay?
I dont have any friends or connections out west really, and thus have no way of really getting a place to stay I feel. Other people have mentioned hostels or camping, but I feel like those options mean I cant stay in a city.
- How much money are we talking?
I have about $2,000 saved up, and I can probably save another $1,500 by the end if my senior year. Will this be enough? I plan on finding a job when I get to my new city.
Im looking to get some work experience doing almost anything art related, some fantastic friendships and connections, and whatever else comes my way. I want to be a total "Yes Man". Whats most important to me though, is that I get to meet new people and experience life somewhere other than this town Ive lived in my whole life.
Feel free to share any experiences, advice, or tips with me. Im totally open to any suggestions! | A rising senior in highschool wants to spend a year on the west coast, making art, friends, and memories before heading to college and getting tied down, but has no idea where to start. |
t3_kn6sl | AskReddit | My identity is being stolen on Facebook. What can I do to stop them? | I use a pseudonym on Facebook. Initially it was to avoid my parents, keep randoms from friending me, and avoid having embarrassing information tied to my full name. I use it now mostly because that's just what my name on Facebook has become.
Someone who must know me quite well has created a profile using my full name. I found it in the last week of August, and it had been around for about a month at that point. It had 195 friends last I checked. At the time I dismissed it as simply the greatest prank that had ever been pulled on me. Now I am less sure of their innocent motive. Many of my friends and colleagues don't yet understand that the profile is not mine, and he (or possibly she) has begun posting disinformation about me. Not necessarily damning information, like detailed accounts of criminal activity, but telling people that I like movies or bands that I don't pay attention to, or a weird alternate-reality version of my political ideology, or that my birthday falls on a different day than it does. Annoying, but not damaging.
The final straw was when he started fucking with my career. I am a musician, and I have a gig coming up soon. He posted that I have a gig two weeks after the actual event. I need people to come to these things and I need my band members to have the correct information, and so this kind of disinformation is NOT okay. How he knew about it, I have no idea. I have no idea how he knows SO MANY THINGS about me.
So that was five days ago. I told him I would give him a week to tell everyone publicly who he really was or give me the password to his account (preferably both) or I would get in contact with Facebook administrators to shut his account down. It was mostly a bluff, since there seems to be no way to get any recourse at all on Facebook to deal with people who are harassing you. However, he has now blocked me, and I can't see him through my account, though I know it still exists because friends of mine have checked. How can I actually get in contact with Facebook admins to end this? | Someone I know is using my name on Facebook and insisting that they are me. It has gone far enough. |
t3_2t3e48 | relationships | Former interest [F22] now wants to see where things go with me [M24] after prior, failed attempts. | Back in HS, I had this one girl who I always had a crush on, even if I had other girlfriends or was single, she always knew a part of me wanted her. And I still believe part of her wanted me too, I just never made an actual move.
We continued talking through college and kept that kind of ambiguous nature of our relationship active. She would always talk the talk without walking the walk, you know, say she would want to visit me at school without ever following through, or vice versa.
Well fast forward to summer last year and I flat out told her that I had always had a crush on her and just plainly put myself out there for her. Nothing. Oh well, I moved on.
Skip to earlier this week and I get this text out of nowhere asking how I've been and wanting to catch up and all that jazz. Now I'm confused. She was never really the type to go out of her way to talk to me since before I was the one doing all the leg work and she knew I would eventually give in. And even after putting myself out there, we just kind of stopped talking altogether.
Now, the ball is in my court. I'm obviously still attracted to her physically, but I don't want to give her any leverage in this.
I know it sounds crappy, but the man in me wants to just get what I can out of her (sexually) and then say "see ya". Because of how she reacted when I put myself out there. But if anyone has some prior experience with a similar relationship I would be like to hear your input. | Former romantic interest now has desire to get together after I put myself out there a while back. How should I handle it? |
t3_v3eck | AskReddit | what's your most haunting/embarrassing childhood experience? i'll go first... | what's your most haunting/embarrassing childhood experience? i'll go first...
when i was about five, my mom had me enrolled in sunday school. after church i went to jesus class and did my thing. pick up time came around and lost and forsaken toddler is looking for his mommy. so i did the natural thing and began my search for the illusive mommy. i based my search on the clothing she wore earlier that day. suddenly, a wild lady wearing pants similar to my mom's appeared! so caught up in my excitement of finding my mother i proceeded to give this lady a hearty slap on the ass for deserting me. and wouldn't you know it, it was my sunday school teacher, WHO MY MOM WAS IN THE MIDST OF A CONVERSATION WITH. | i slapped my sunday school teachers ass @ 5 y/o because i thought it was my mom. |
t3_2tj9av | relationships | Me [21/M] dating [19/F] missionary gone for 6 months | I started this very plootanic relationship 7 months ago with the girl that is now my gf. We've been together officially for 4 months this week, but last month she started a missionary program. Needless to say she is now on the other side of the country, bogged down with a hectic and straining schedule, and I am a student with my own busy schedule.
this now being the one month period I feel the distance starting to get to me. I have begun to overthink texts and skype conversations which leave me wandering if our relationship can rebound after this seperation.
IMPORTANT BIT: In the past three days I have met two girls who are not only kind and beautiful and down to earth, they're not 10 states away. I can't get one of them out of my mind no matter how hard I try. I feel like a real dirtbag because of the two girls the one I can't stop thinking about is cuurently in a relationship with a new found friend.
I realize I am young, impatient, and probably insecure about more things than I realize, but I simply need advice on how to make the distance managable/ how to mend strained relationships. Thanks a bill for reading. | gf is away for a mission trip and on top on our relationship starting to dim, I can't get a new girl out of my thoughts. |
t3_42s4du | personalfinance | I just got a real "grown up" job. I'm psyched beyond words but have no idea how to manage the money or benefits coming with it. Help? | I'm a 22 year old college student slowly finishing at a local college. Thanks to the generosity of a now-deceased grandparent and a pretty good program in my state, my college is paid for.
I've been working in retail the last year in a part time manager position. A friend mentioned an assistant manager position (full time) open at another store. I went for it, even underqualified as I am. And I got it! I'm still in shock over that.
Now for my financial situation: I have no fucking clue how to handle this. I'll be making 28k a year, plus get 6 days PTO, 5 paid sick days, and have a 401(k) with company match. I also get my birthday off, paid, and a few other vacation-related perks (only work one Sunday a month, off one weekend a month, etc).
So what do I do? How do I manage this money? I own my car outright, pay about $400 a month in rent (boyfriend and I live together), pay $55 a month for my phone. Otherwise, no debt and no major bills. I know 28k isn't a *lot* but it's a hell of a lot more than I thought I'd be making before I finished college, or at 22 in general. Part of me wants to put aside some of the money for my little brother (14) who has no college fund whatsoever to protect him from some of the crap my family pulls involving money, but I don't know if I'm making enough to do that. I know I want to save a lot. Honestly, I'm just happy I don't have to choose between paying my cell phone bill and filling up my gas tank anymore. I don't really see increasing my expenditures- I have everything I could want. So what do I do? | Got job making more than twice what I made (28k/yr) plus benefits. Don't know how to benefits. How do I 401(k)? Will I make enough money to save some for my brother's college on top of saving for myself? What do? Totally lost. |
t3_4ll507 | loseit | Areas of weight loss | Basically lost just over a stone in the past 5 months slowly but surely. I'm now 154 pounds and a height of 5"10 - 5"11 I can never tell haha But basically i've noticed a few things since losing this weight, the very vast majority was my stomach, I lost some from my legs and almost none from my very chubby face. I expected this sure because I mainly did it through dieting but my ribs are rather exposed whilst my waist is still still a bit thick. Was wondering if this is to be expected and if there is a way to make me lose weight specifically on my face and legs | Lost weight a stone (was only chubby) only visible with very distinct ribs showing whilst rest still chubby. Help me :) |
t3_1wnubd | relationships | [19M] and my girlfriend [19F] of 1.5 years: Lack of any form of PDA now. Makes me think she doesn't want to commit anymore. | Last summer my girlfriend and I went through a very rough patch over the summer; both of us went home from college and we were about 2000 miles apart. We've since picked up where we left off, but very different from before that summer. Back when we first started dating, we'd always hold hands and lock arms and such in public. For the past five months however, we've probably never done that since. It's especially a problem when I feel that other guys are trying to make a move on her, or get a little too close and chatty for my liking. I'm about 4 inches shorter than her and Asian (she's white), so most people never think of us as dating, and that worries me. I hate the paranoia of thinking that she's ashamed, doesn't want to commit, or worse, that she likes the attention of other guys. Out of public, we spend almost all our time together, and everything's just great when we're at each other's place or with a small group of friends. I guess what I'm just worried about is she doesn't want to show everyone else we're together anymore. Any insight? | Girlfriend and I used to hold hands and stuff in public, now it's down to zero PDA and it worries me. |
t3_2sp1ag | offmychest | Annoyed and confused, not sure what to think. Would love some feedback. | I got a text from my cousin a few days ago. I was thrilled, he was going to be in town and wanted to meet up. I had this image of us meeting up and getting to know one another better. We only talk during big family events so I was happy to see him one on one. I asked him where he wanted to go and tried to leave it open.
He never got back to me. Little did I know I was agreeing to meet him his best friend and my parents for the day. I know it seems paranoid but I feel like I was more of an afterthought. He never responded to any of my texts. I know he got them because he told other people I was going to join them. That also means he had time to text so no "I'm busy" as an excuse because he had time to text the people I think he really wanted to see. Am I reading too much into this? The whole thing makes me feel awful. | not sure if relative really wants to spend time with me because they want to or if it's because they feel obligated. |
t3_21mful | relationships | I (18f) am 'hanging out' with a guy (20'sM) this weekend and need advice | I've talked to this guy multiple times recently and he seemed really interesting and we have a lot in common. We've known each other in passing for awhile but only introduced ourselves a month ago and started talking a week ago. Yesterday I asked him out and said "what are you doing this weekend? We should hang out". He put his number in my phone and we talked about hanging out Saturday but never set anything in stone about when/where/what.
We didn't call it a date but we're hanging out 1 on 1. We've talked enough that I already know I'd like to try dating him, so I don't want to screw this up.
Things to note:
1. We live in different areas of town but both have cars.
2. We didn't establish what we would do or when.
So my questions. Is it okay for me to text him and ask when/what/where he wants to hang out? Should I leave it up to him or offer suggestions? He's lived in the city longer than I have and he knows it better than I do. If I offer suggestions, what would you recommend? We do live in a big city so there is usually quite a bit going on. I was thinking coffee, a park (maybe with lunch), farmer's market, etc etc. | Hanging out with a guy I like this weekend. What should we do and how should I communicate this to him? |
t3_2da398 | relationships | I [17 M] with [17F] am trying to keep a conversation going after a successful first date? | Last night I went on a first date. I usually do not fair well in these, but it went perfect. Not an awkward moment the whole night, we both had a lot to say, (her a fair bit more) and I felt we really clicked. Anyway, we likely aren't having our second date until Thursday so I'm trying to keep some conversation flowing between now and then through text.
Before the date texting was a bit better, both getting to know each other and all that. Now we know all the basics and general information about one another and I'm having trouble getting our texting conversation flowing again.
Any tips are greatly appreciated to keep this conversation flowing! Thank you reddit! | Solid first date, got a couple days between the second, how do I keep our texting conversation going? |
t3_1b1t8k | AskReddit | What if all this North Korean propaganda was to take our focus off a real, more present threat? | In light of all the DPRK (North Korea) propaganda recently about how they are "planning and all out attack on U.S." or that they have the ability to "fire nuclear-armed missiles that could reach our homeland."
What if they're releasing all of this to direct our focus away from the REAL threat: Cyber Warfare. Keep in mind that DPRK's people are completely shut out from the rest of the world and literally worship their leader and take what he says as GOLD. The films could be more of a way to keep them believing that we fear them (which is not the case at all).
So, as we sit here focused on their combative army they could, potentially, be attacking us from within. ~~Also, keep in mind that North Korea now runs ThePiratebay.org, a popular torrent hosting site.~~
They train hackers in teams.
A MILITARY GPS satellite had been shut down, breaking communications between American troops in South Korea during exsercise. North Korea is taking blame for previously using Chinese IP addresses as a source of cyber attacks.
These are just a few that I could find in such a short time. There are tons more if you look for it. I'm here all day if I'm needed to do such a thing.
-----
My source for this thought: I have a friend that is a Signal Officer in the Army attending a Millitary Science course with other Majors soon-to-be promoted to LTCs. He brings stuff like cyber security up in his classroom and everyone just looks at him as if such a thing wasn't important.
My major in college has to do with Infosec (information security) and I see a lot of importance on the subject. | North Korea has been training teams of "hack warriors". Propaganda of sending nukes could be taking focus off the real threat: Cyber warfare. |
t3_54yh7u | relationships | What advice do I give to my friend who is separated from her husband, but won't stop communicating with him when he makes her upset? | My friend, Cindy, has made the decision to divorce her husband for a variety of reasons, mainly having to do with finances and NOT anything to do with cheating. She has a 14 year old stepson that she still wishes to see and communicate with her husband about, which Cindy has been in his life since he was 6 years old. They have sold their house and she has moved into her own house and they have been separated for about 4 months.
However, she refuses to block him or just talk to him on issues solely pertaining to their child. She said that she just can't pretend like he exists as he used to be her best friend and feels guilty that she is divorcing him. I want my friend to be happy, but she is always sad or angry over something he has said because, although they live separately, they still talk on the phone daily and argue. He pleads to get back with her all the time and while she says no, I think he believes there is hope because they still communicate daily with each other about issues not involving her stepson. She said she wants to be respectful of his feelings, but I'm honestly confused as what advice I'm supposed to give her (besides stop communicating with him until) when she is upset about how he got mad at her again. She said she doesn't want to get back together and is living in her own place, but hasn't started divorce paperwork and has no plans to stop communicating with her soon to be ex. I don't know what else to tell her when she cries to me over the phone about how mean he's being to her because she has refused to stop communicating with him. Any advice? | friend and stbx husband still talk and argue on the phone. They are separated, but she still gets upset talking to him and won't stop communication with him as she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Any advice on what to tell her when she complains to me about him making her upset (again)? |
t3_53b24v | legaladvice | (CA) I signed up for health insurance with my employer I was told benefits would start in July. Still no benefits. | So basically I signed up for health insurance with a benefits counselor for my employer. I was told I was enrolled and my health insurance would be effective 07/01. July rolls around and I have still not received any insurance info and the insurance company has no record of me. So I call HR and email them repeatedly with no response. It is now August. After repeatedly complaining to my boss because I'm sick and need to see a doctor, I get through to HR and she says she will look into it. Finally after bugging her for two weeks I find out I was never actually enrolled and that she will enroll me so my insurance will be effective 09/01. As of today I still have no insurance, the insurance company still has no record of me, and now HR lady is dodging my calls. And I'm still sick. This whole time I have not been getting deductions so I'm not getting screwed out of money or anything, but I still feel like I'm getting cheated. Is my company allowed to be doing this? I'm really not trying to sue or anything, I just want to see a fucking doctor! | company told me I was getting health benefits, I'm still not enrolled despite being told I was several times and now HR is dodging me. |
t3_153nij | Dogtraining | Help with a boxer who won't stop marking? How do I re-potty train him? | My boxer is around 6 years old. We've had him since he was about a year, and he is nothing short of an amazing dog. However, in the last year or so, he's begun very weird "possessive" behaviors. It started with him stealing my clothes from the laundry room, and has progressed to him marking EVERYTHING. At first it was just my laundry baskets, then my floors and now pretty much everything that belongs to me, including my bed. I can't let him out of my sight. After talking with the vet, I've tried cleaning all of the permanent things (carpets, furniture) and replacing everything I can. I've even tried using the anti-marking sprays. I'd really like some insight as to why he's doing these things (is it odd that it's only my things?) and what I can do about it? We do have an older dog as well, but they've been together since we adopted the boxer, so there's no change there. I also think he might have a bit of separation anxiety. | Boxer is marking all of my things. What do I do? |
t3_41na2m | relationships | Me [22 M/] with my wife [21 F] 5 years, doesnt care about looks? | On my phone so please excuse formatting.
This is a weird one, I'm sure. It feels really petty but I cant shake the feeling.
My wife alleges that she doesnt have a type. We've talked about it before and I've always said she's full of shit. But last night we got in depth with it and she explained that shes attracted to personalities, not type. Further discussion revealed that, no matter what I looked like, she would have still fallen in love with me, and married me.
And it just felt..shitty. She equated my appearance to being a bonus. And now I feel like a big part of my identity is irrelevent. Im honestly a little vain, and I recognize that. But being told that what I look like doesnt matter made it feel like part of me doesnt matter, like her attraction to me is.. hollow I guess? She says she thinks im good looking, but it doesnt feel like it matters shes attracted to me physically knowing it doesnt matter to her romantically.
I recognize I'm being a little petty, but am I unreasonable? Is it weird? Am i wrong? I guess i dont really know what to think or how to respond to the shitty feeling it gives me. | Wife admitted that physical attraction wasnt a part of the equation when she fell in love with me, and i makes me feel shitty. I dont know what to think. |
t3_e9l7b | AskReddit | Reddit, we are in desperate need of advice with our roommate/girlfriend situation | So my roommate and I have turned to reddit to get some advice because we are concerned about one of our other roommates. He has been dating a girl for about a year now (last year she was in high school and we were freshman at college.) She would stay over once and a while and was a little bit awkward, but we could put up with her. For example, his roommate would wake up to them fooling around and walk in on them naked, always without apology or any communication in general. We put up with it last year, but now they are getting a lot more serious. She frequently comes over to our apartment, and despite numerous attempts to interact and be friendly, she refuses to talk to us. She will immediately dodge any conversation and make a beeline to our roommate's room. She, and I quote, will stare blankly "like the children of the corn." Not my words. | Our roommate has contacted some of our female friends/girlfriends of my roommates to try to live with them in our apartment complex next year. She is not friends with them by any stretch and does not talk to them either, even when they are present. We are worried that we will destroy our friendship over this girl, as she is demonstrating some extremely controlling and possessing behavior, including hinting at marriage/starting a family. Even his mom has experienced this. |
t3_27k6z7 | tifu | TIFU by not checking the inside of my mitt. | As a child I always had this fear, that whenever I stuck my hand inside of a glove or a mitt, It would be occupied by a spider. I often spend many days outside helping my dad, and as work gloves were left in the shed, I always whined and made a big deal about putting on any gloves, careful to crush each finger as to kill any spiders waiting to deliver a painful/deadly bite.
Fast forward to today, and as a 26 year old man, I tell myself all the time that I should not let being afraid of the dark, or a fear of heights, or even the crazy fear of spiders in a mitt control me.
So I go out to wash my car, and realize I have left my microfiber mitt outside on the step to drive for a week. I pick it up, smack it on the concrete of my steps to knock off any bugs on the outside, and right as I was about to peer inside, my inner voice is all, "Hey, don't do that, you're not a kid anymore, this has never happened! Why would it happen now."
I listened, put the mitt onto my hand, dunked it into the soapy water and started to wash the hood of my car. It was about 20 seconds later that I felt what I originally believed to be a string inside of the mitt. Then my brain was all, "STRINGS DONT MOVE." I ripped my hand out of the mitt, opened the top, and inside was a decent sized black spider, writhing around at the bottom.
It took about half a second for my brain to realize what happened.
Full on panic. I live in the middle of Black Widow city, and they prefer dark damp places, like you know, this slightly damp mitt that holds water real well and is dark inside. I waiting for the little bastard to crawl to the top, shook him out onto the car and...not a Black Widow. Just a dark brown spider that happened to look black when wet. | Always check the fucking mitt. Childhood fear realized. |
t3_2f48vo | relationships | Me [26 M] with my [23 F] of one year, can't talk to my girlfriend about her depression without her freaking out | My girlfriend has been spiraling downward into depression. I've tried being there for her, but she is depressed more often than she's happy and it's really bothering me. And what's worse is that I can't talk to her how much her depression is affecting me without her flipping out (getting angry or bursting into tears).
I love her, but at this point I have no idea what to do. She's going to therapy and she's saying that it's not helping. Most recently, I told her that she needs to talk to her friends or parents about it, but she says they don't listen and I'm the only one who listens. I tried saying that it's a lot for me to take on all of her depression by myself and she doesn't get it. She ends up calling me an asshole and then flipping out.
I love her, but I don't know what to do. | Girlfriend has depression and I can't tell her how it's affecting me without her flipping out. |
t3_3gejrz | relationships | I [20 M] want to ask out a girl at my job [18 F], but we are both going to university in September. | I work part time at a supermarket, and so does the girl in question. We work on different departments, and what conversation we do have is rather limited, but nonetheless I really like this girl and I would like to pursue this further.
The issue is I am a rather reserved person, and although I could probably muster the courage to ask her out sooner or later, I don't exactly have a lot of time. In just under six weeks I move to a different city, and she moves somewhere else as well. The two cities aren't too out of the way from each other (about an hour's drive from each other) but I can't help but feel that I don't have enough time to build up any kind of meaningful relationship that wouldn't deteriorate rather quickly given the physical distance between us.
I am generally rather good with maintaining relationships over distance, I still talk every day with some friends who I haven't seen in nearly two years, who moved cities a couples of years ago. But it's a mutual effort, and it's not something I can be certain will happen with this girl.
I am just not sure if it's worth even trying to ask this girl out or whether to just look for someone else. I've never asked a girl out before and I've never had a girlfriend, so that's another hurdle I would have to get past, but the question at hand is essentially: "is it worth it?". | Is it worth pursuing a relationship that will inevitably turn relatively long-distance in just under six weeks? |
t3_2hx4n5 | relationships | Me, [29F] lesbian with my wife [29F] are married and have been together for 7 years. And now I feel like I am attracted to our [25M] friend. | I am a lesbian woman. I came out when I was 20. Dated several girls. After a certain period of time I met my future wife. I love her with all my heart. We've been through a lot. And I can't imagine my life without her. We have a wonderful family and everything is fine...But...
We have this male friend of our family. And I just feel like I want him. I don't think I'm in love. It's just something that I can't control. I don't want to have sex with other men or women. I love and want my wife but this male friend...there is just smth about him that turns me on. I feel awful. I don't want to cheat. But I think about him and his lips...and ....oh what is wrong with me?
The question of gender doesn't bother me. Almost. The main problem is that I don't want to ruin my marriage. | Advice? |
t3_3j0lae | personalfinance | Bought a house with my brothers now one wont pay their share | So bought a home with my two brothers around five years ago.. we all deposit money weekly into a shared account to cover the repayments. One of my brothers and I have kept up to date with our share since day one. The other one has consistently missed their weekly deposit. The money in this shared account is supposed to cover the bills for the house aswell. We all live in the house. It has gotten to the point where the are bills coming in and there is simply not enough money to pay them! We both love our brother dearly but he is clearly taking advantage of us. He pays on average one weeks worth a month into the account. We have kept all payments going into the account documented and the amount he owes us is easily close to $10000.
The icing on the cake is his girlfriend lives with us too and she is supposed to deposit money in the account as "rent". She too has fallen behind.
What I'm asking for really is what would you do in this situation? I'm a long time lurker on this thread and thought it might be a good place for some advice. We have both tried talking to him on numerous occasions and it's always the same conversation. He will say he was just having a bad week (had to pay some personal bill or had some event he needed money for) and that it's okay now and he will pay it. He will pay it for one week and then go back to missing it. | Three siblings living in a house together - one isn't contributing |
t3_102w3j | AskReddit | reddit, the romney-obama race is getting plenty of our attention. what's a race, in your home state or at the national level, that you think isn't getting enough attention? | I live in Ohio, and the Senate race here is a hot mess. Incumbent Sherrod Brown (D), an incredibly experienced man with a PhD and one of the highest pro-gay rights, pro-choice ratings in the Senate is being challenged by state treasurer Josh Mandel (R), a 35 year old who has the most Pants On Fire ratings of any politician on PolitiFact Ohio (
I interned for Senator Brown, so I recognize my bias in this race. What I can't understand is how Josh Mandel is still a real candidate. It is a fact that he did not attend a single treasury meeting until the Brown campaign ran an ad pointing this out. He then had the hypocrisy to accuse Sen. Brown of missing too many official votes- (Brown has missed 3%, the median is 2.5%, so it's a little high, but nothing compared to missing a mandatory meeting for your entire tenure as treasurer.) He swore when he ran for treasurer not to leave the post to run for higher office and promptly broke the pledge. When running for treasurer, he slammed the incumbent treasurer for cronyism and then appointed his real campaign manager and his *college student government* campaign manager to 6 figure jobs, even though neither of them had relevant formal training to speak of. He accepted campaign donations that the FBI later forced him to refund. **Even if I agreed with his politics, I would be able to recognize that he is a terrible candidate.**
Mandel is funded by superPACs determined to boot Brown out of office because of his strong liberal views, and this is the only reason he is still in the race. However, I feel like Ohio as a whole is just accepting him as a contender. Polls are closely tied and I feel like it's because people are polling straight down party lines and not educating themselves. I don't care if my friends vote Romney, but I would honestly have trouble respecting one that voted Mandel.
I know that the majority of people on this site lean liberal, but if this post convinces one person to vote Brown, I feel great about it. | Josh Mandel, Ohio Senate candidate, is scummy and Ohio seems not to care. |
t3_2ajx0j | offmychest | Friends not inviting me anymore. | A little back story: I came back home for the summer break before the fall semester starts back up. I usually hang out with the same group of friends on the weekends. We go to bars, play poker, or any other type of things we feel like doing.
The last two weeks have been a little weird. Last week, on 4th of July, they decided to all go to Indiana Beach w/o me. I really was not that bothered until I heard they invited my little brother to go with them as well. He never hangs out with them. They usually just use him for a place to party. So, it is not like they were not willing to invite someone else with them. So I was a little pissed.
The next week, I asked one friend if we were going to play poker this weekend. We usually have a weekly poker game. He says he is going off to Iowa, which I thought nothing of. The next day I ask my other two regular friends if they are doing anything. They mention that both of them are headed to Iowa. Again, I get no invite.
I have always been a little on the outside with these group of friends, but I was still invited to just about everything with them. Just recently, we all went to Miami for spring break and had a great time. Now, it feels like they are pushing me out of the group. I am a little surprised how upset I feel right now. I just got used to working all week and hanging out on weekends. Now, I am stuck at home doing nothing on a Saturday night. I wonder if I said something while I was drunk that upset someone. I am a little shocked how, all of sudden, no one bothers to invite me anywhere now. I am now sequestering myself to my room so I do not have to hide how upset I am to my family.
Thanks for everybody who read or who comments on this, I have this thing where I have to make everyone around me look at me as if I am indestructible emotionally. One of the downsides of being a guy. | My friends stopped inviting me and I am more upset than I thought I would be. |
t3_3red6c | relationship_advice | Is it wrong for me (~24/f) to hide depression/issues from bf (25/m) if everything else is going well and he's happy with the relationship? | I think I have chronic depression and disassociative disorder (talked with a shrink for the first time and while she said I seem pretty normal given my past/life, I do show signs of disassociation). I am very logical, "successful" and stable but numb and detached. Everything is muted. I have a heart condition (very low heart rate) which also makes me somewhat tired/aloof all the time (trying to treat it but don't have the money nor conviction to get a pacemaker). I am also genuinely scared I might be trans as I feel much more comfortable in the male identity, fantasize about having a male body, do not like having a female body, and realize that I am most likely bi and watch lots of porn.
So there's a lot I have going on. I have told my man about some of it and his answers are a bit trite and unhelpful. I prefer to keep my mental issues separate from "us." At the same time, I feel like by not divulging my mental "illnesses" he doesn't fully know me. And I strongly believe he doesn't want to know the real me (and I don't want him to either). Is it wrong of me to feel this way? He's happy with how I present myself (which is still me--minus the issues) as I am high-functioning, and I get the satisfaction of having a companion who is good, handsome, nice etc. and prove to myself I can be "normal." But it seems deceptive. I just don't trust any man enough to open up and I figure that's a job for a shrink, anyway. | i have lots of issues and don't open up to bf since i think it is my own personal issues to be dealt with with a shrink only, if anyone. is that okay? |
t3_4pxo0a | relationships | I (20 F) want to live separately from my so (20 M), to get out of our comfort and get the spark back. | Me (20 F) and my boyfriend (20 M) have been dating for 2 years 7 months and have moved abroad to study. We've been living together in London for nearly 2 years. Our friends and family say we're a match made in heaven and our life as a couple is great... but we don't have any friends here, we both suffer from social anxiety and we're each others' ultimate comfort zone and this domestic life is making me feel older than I'm actually are (I feel like his mum!). I've asked him countless times to take up more responsibilities, to go work out, etc. I just sometimes feel suppressed as an individual and sometimes hate myself for being harsh to him. I still want to date him (I love him a lot), but I want to try living separately, because I feel like I'm missing out on something in my life, I'll be forced to go out more and maybe we will get our love spark back? He says he doesn't see any problems in our relationship, but living separately kinda makes sense, but it also looks like we're breaking up and we should give it more time (but I know he likes to drag things) | we've been living together with my so and I'd like to live separately to get out of our comfort zone and get our spark back, he says it's like breaking up and we should give it more time. |
t3_xicys | AskReddit | Does the traditional no sex/no cohabitation/no foreplay rules till marriage actually lead to a stronger marriage? | My girlfriend 28 has grown up with a very strong set of beliefs that there should be no sex/foreplay/cohabitation till marriage, subsequently she has never had a solid relationship, has never had sex or fallen in love. To put things in perspective, she had recently achieved (her first) orgasm one night I had helped her though her cloths.
So here we are dating... going out to dinner a few times a week, making out on the couch like teenagers. If I press her too far sexually, she then regresses back and that is not done for a few weeks. Meanwhile I am thinking, that I will never be close enough to marry her if we are not progressing the relationship (foreplay, spending the night, maybe even moving in with each other at some point).
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When I asked her values she states the following. :
"I dont want to be test ridden like a car".
"If I am going to act like the wife, why not become the wife".
"Its harder to just walk away when you are married".
"I would feel less of my self if I was living with someone who did not marry me".
"Marriage is great for taxes".
"I need to be engaged before we do anything more than we are currently doing".
"I know you want to buy a house, but I wont move in unless we are married (once we are married I want us to
buy a joint house together so were both on the title and the partner could never say "this is MY house".
"We could sign a prenump if you want".
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Like this is some formula for a relationship, minus the love that would somehow fall into a good relationship.
I dont see any of this shit above.. I want basic love, love that would flourish into a normal sexual life, and progress into a strong relationship, then marriage.
I currently feel none of this and here is she talking about heavy, outdated formal dating. Dont get me wrong I like this girl, but every time she talks about this I drift further apart. | Current (relationship novice) girlfriend is making me jump through all the traditional dating to marriage hoops like its some sort of magic formula for a successful marriage, I am not feeling any of this and see it as a receipt for disaster. |
t3_vwmye | relationships | Need some advice | Ok so long story short my girlfriend [f 19] and I [m 20] (together now for 4 years) were having some issues in our relationship. Distance from going to separate colleges is to blame and her fears to commit added into that sort of scared her. After being on a break for a very short while we are still in some sense in a relationship but not on the same level that we were before. The plan is to work back to that level while trying to balance the distance. We are still very much in love and she tells me all the time that she can't live without me in her life and that she wouldn't be where she is today without me. I have done a lot for her and she is always there for me no matter what.
Anyway that was just the backstory. Being that we ran into these problems I told my mom about them since it was weird to her that we weren't together hanging out as much this summer since it was during this break we had. I made sure I emphasized this was purely distance. She even asked me if it was because she found someone else. This is not the case at all (me and the gf have been down that road while talking) and i told my mom that.
Now my gf's friend got a job for the summer at the office my mom manages and we are hearing stories from her about how my mom has in her head that she has found someone else, and that she wishes we would break up. I can't confront my mom about this directly and I don't know what else to do, I've just been waiting for an opportunity to hear something negative said amongst my family to be able to defend the true story. I don't even know what the rest of my family knows, should I be asking one of my siblings what they know and see what happens? Or should I just ignore this whole thing. I just hate the fact that there could be any hard feelings between the one I love and my family. Any advice? | My relationship was having problems, but we are now working through it. However, my mom talks badly about it behind my back saying that my gf has found someone else when that is not the case. |
t3_1fpha3 | offmychest | Had sex with my mom and now things are weird between us. | Went out to the club with my mom and brought a nice lady home with me. It was awkward driving back to our place since my mom was driving with me and the woman (let's call her Marissa) I took home in the back.
When we got home, I started to get crunk and break down into song and dance. I was getting a little too off the chain and then proceeded to bang Marissa. Marissa passes out later and my mom is right there kinda watching. I proceed to diligently engage in relations with my mom and then she goes with it.
Woke up, Marissa is nowhere to be seen, mom is hiding away, refuses to speak to me. | banged my mom. |
t3_41v7he | relationships | Me [25F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 1 year, won't sleep at my apartment due to sleep problems/OCD? | I love my boyfriend, we have a great relationship with lots of communication, we have normal couple bickering but that's about it. He is kind, funny, smart, handsome, fun, loyal, trustworthy, everything I have always wanted in a guy.
My BF has OCD, where he has obsessive thoughts that give him anxiety and keep him up at night. He has a really hard time getting sleep, some nights he won't sleep at all.
I try to understand this, and I try to be supportive. I have talked to him about how I would like him to sleep over at my apartment, as I am always sleeping at his for his comfort. (been sleeping at his place intermittently during 1 year of dating)
However, part of me is starting to resent the fact that I feel like I am always making the extra effort to go to his apartment. A lot of times I'll come to his apartment straight after work (I arrive at his place at 8:10PM) and will go to work in the morning (leave at 5:30AM) just so we can spend a few hours together.
This puts a strain on my life, as I work full time and I am a part time grad student. I feel like I live out of my car. On top of all this, he has a very busy schedule as an ED doctor. I work day shift as an ER nurse (at a different hospital) and he works all shifts (day, evening, night).
How do I get over the fact that he won't sleep over? I am not familiar with OCD except for what I have seen in the ED, researched online, and what he tells me. I have a very basic understanding of his cyclical thinking.
He sees a therapist every month or so; I have urged him to see a psychiatrist. He doesn't like using medications (while I am very pro-medication, at least for treating my own depression). I have also suggested he see his therapist more often, and he is now seeing her every two weeks. | Boyfriend with OCD won't sleep at my apartment and I am beginning to become resentful. |
t3_3sgazs | relationships | TL;DR My (32/F) husband (36/M) doesn't want children | Let me preface this with the following: my husband (36/m) got a girl pregnant when he was 18/19 and she was 16. He has 2 children, a boy (17) and girl (16) from this previous relationship. I came into the picture when the kids were super young (5/6) and I was only in my early 20s. Now, after 8 years of marriage and some pretty hard times dealing with my stepson, my husband doesn't want anymore children.
I've never had a child but the older I get the more I really do (despite my age and the problems we have had with his kids/baby mama). He's adamant that he does NOT want children. He's angry and mad over his last marriage and the situation with his children...what should I do to get him on board with me having a child? Is this a deal breaker?
I know we have some fertility issues but that's not to say we couldn't get pregnant--I just know he doesn't want to. If that's the case then where does that put our marriage? It's something I very obviously want, and get extremely upset about when we discuss it. I love my husband but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about this! | what do I do? Divorce? Stay together? Sacrifice my wants and needs for his? |
t3_4gfgms | relationships | I [F/20] recently broke up with my ex. How do I keep my new crushes [M/23] interest until I am ready to date again? | I have feelings for a guy I would like to pursue but do not know how to keep his interest until I am ready to date again. I just broke up with my ex (3 year relationship) and although I know I really like this new guy, I realize I need to wait a couple of months until I date again.
I am really worried my crush will find someone in that period of time and I don't know how to let him know I like him without making it seem like a rebound (I have actually had feelings for him for a very long time). I had emotionally left my last relationship a couple months ago but only officially broke up two weeks ago.
Should I just act the same around my crush until I am ready for a relationship of should I act more interested in him? Thanks guys :) | I have a crush on someone although I just got out of a 3 year relationship. I am worried he will find someone else and I have liked him for a really long time. Should I pursue him a bit or should I let it go until I am ready to date again? |
t3_uizc9 | AskReddit | ELI5 what being in a long lasting relationship is like | OK so I have been going out with this girl for 8mo so far, things for most part are pretty good (hard to say what amazing really is..can any of you? ). However we both got jobs in Oregon (currently in MN), and in the moving process we are arguing a lot!. Mainly because she has stuff she wants to bring (which she has worked for to accumulate and also does not want to arrive at the new place with a bare empty apartment, without a couch or a bed). I understand her desire to keep her loot, but its a pain in the ass to haul across 2000miles.
Anyways in this whole fiasco, I got thinking what does Reddit know about long lasting functional relationships, and what should my parents and education have taught me about being a relationship. | Describe what your long lasting relationship is like from your perspective and from your SO if you can, curious to know other peoples experience |
t3_1k7lgl | relationships | I [25M] am 5 months out of a 7yr relationship, my friend [22F] is into me, not sure if I should ask her out. (HELP) | So I'm 25, have only been with one woman and that was a 7 year relationship. My ex cheated on me and left me for another if you consider that important. I've been thinking for the last month or two that I was ready to look for someone new and now that the chance is here I've begun second guessing myself.
A friend (who I've only really got to know well since breaking up) and I have been spending a lot of time together over the last month, particularly alone over the last week. I find her funny, attractive, intelligent and we share several common interests. I know she's into me through body language, communication and her friend. Though there's been no sex or kissing we have exchanged some cuddling and foot massages.
BUT the thing is that because I've got no experience outside of my ex I'm uncertain if my feelings are just a good connection with someone, lust or genuine attraction and if that should matter too much. I also feel completely unknowing about the dating game in general.
I consider her a good friend and I don't want to wreck a new friendship because my feelings are not genuine. Also because of this I don't want to hurt her or have her feel I used her. I'm finding Ive been second guessing myself and everyone I've talked to so far have given mixed advice, however they have stakes in my friend and/or me.
Should I ask her out or would this be something best left alone so we will remain close friends? I don't want to hurt her... | Interested in a friend who's definitely into me. Only 5 months out of 7 year relationship. I therefore lack dating experience and am second guessing if my feelings are genuine. Should I ask her out? |
t3_4bcoml | relationships | Me [26 F] have a crush on my friends brother [30 M] | So not really sure what to do here. I have a crush on my friends brother. We are both single, I am just getting out of a pretty long marriage. The other, kind of sticky issue is that I am friends with their mom, who has essentially adopted my kids as her grandkids. So if things go bad it could be really bad i guess and if things go well it could be awesome. So I asked my friend to give her brother my number but she gave me his instead. So now I am contemplating what to do and if i do text him what I should say. I just saw him yesterday at my friends sons first birthday party. | My friend gave me her brothers number, dont know if i should text him or not and if so what to say. |
t3_4zew95 | tifu | TIFU by messing with a makeshift ramp | A long time ago, when I was a kid, my neighbors and I were outside playing. We were riding our bikes today, and decided to make a ramp using wood and a cinderblock. We were having fun taking turns going up the ramp and jumping off the other side.
This carried on for hours, and it started to get boring pretty quick. I asked if anyone wanted to do something else, but they said no and kept recording themselves jumping the ramp. I figured "maybe if the ramp falls apart they'll get bored and be done", so I mess with the board to put it closer to the edge of the block expecting it to fall after a jump and us be done.
My friend goes up the ramp one last time, and crap it breaks early sending the front wheel into the side of the block and him skidding across a few feet of asphalt. We stopped after that, but soon after his older brother called me out on messing with it to which I replied nervously that I was just trying to fix it so it wouldn't fall. | messed with a makeshift ramp, friend went up it, and got 5 feet of asphalt road rash. Got called out on it, lied, and ran off. |
t3_14oony | self | Hey Reddit, can you please help me out? (Details inside and through link) | Hey Reddit, could do me a huge favour and Vote for this NON-Profit organization that I support? (Link below)
V.E.T.S Canada reaches out to homeless and at-risk military veterans in Canada (as well as The States). We primarily help veterans in Canadian cities, but also do our best for vets in American cities though our growing social network of volunteers. (And you guys know a thing or 2 about what it's like being a social network).
We're using aviva community fund to raise money for Vets. We're currently 5 places out of making it into the finals for which we win $5000 that goes straight to our cause, and a chance at winning the entire competition (+cash prize).
If you could please vote for our cause, you would be helping out more than you'll ever know. This is just an excellent chance for our Non-Profit to acquire funds for helping homeless veterans.
Thanks Everyone | Please vote for us, we're a Non-profit for Homeless Veterans. We're in a competition and have a good chace at winning $5000 for our non-profit!" |
t3_2zeqf8 | loseit | Lost 85 lbs in 9 1/2 months and have been maintaining for the past 3 months. Tip/pic inside. | [What do you think?](
Lazy, efficient, possibly both but it's the little things that help.
Didn't want to wash an extra plate or bowl and it saves time with the added benefit of being easier to hold, and it obviously already measures the food... since you know, the whole measuring cup thing.
Things like this and excessive use of a food scale helped me lose 85 lbs in 9 months. Didn't eat the absolute best or healthiest food; I ate what I wanted but just less of it. No cheat days. Self control got me down to 8-9% body fat. Hell, I was even injured for a solid month where I couldn't walk much(hardest part was being unable to run after I worked so hard completing C25K and no lifting during that time.)
Get a food scale, get measuring cups, practice self control and be a healthier and likely happier you. | Do what it takes to eat at a caloric deficit no matter how silly it seems to others. |
t3_3xnbdc | relationship_advice | I (17/f) am trying to decide whether to break up with my boyfriend (18/m) | My life/relationships are usually reminiscent of a shitty soap opera, but this is getting annoying and awful.
I (17/f) am dating a guy (18/m), and have been for 7 months. We were really happy. But then I met another person (17/m) and we developed feelings for each other. I thought it would pass. I really did. But it's been going on since like, October, and it hasn't gone away. On top of that, my feelings for my boyfriend disappeared.
So I decided, hey, better break up with him before he gets hurt severely/before I make a mistake. For about a week I was happy with my decision. Then like a week ago, something happened, and I started...having feelings for my boyfriend again? I think. I'm not sure what it is, and that's my problem. I still care about my boyfriend. It's not the same as it used to be, but I still care.
I'm thinking I should still break up with him, just so he doesn't get hurt, but...I don't know if I want to. I definitely don't want to hurt him.
Essentially, my question becomes: how do I decide what to do/what do I do? I have horrible mixed feelings about the whole situation. No matter what, I wouldn't be breaking up with this kid in order to be with the other person (I'm not sure I want to date him anyway). | I don't know how to decide whether to break up with my boyfriend or not, because I don't know if I have feelings for him. |
t3_vjekl | self | There's probaly a lot of people crying over personal stuff, here i come..(x-post from askreddit) | For about a month, I've ben "trying" to see this girl. I adore her, we have the same humour, she's cute and smart. 4 days ago i realised how i haven't seen her by making a date, but randomly at parties and on my school. I were so in love with her that i haven't thought of that before, but i do now. 10 hours ago exactly this conversation started Me: Am i going to see you or not? :) Her: I almost just got out of a relationship, so i'm not ready for something new. Me: Does that mean we can't see eachother anymore? Her: I guess if you want to put it that way, yes.
After that message i walked around in my house, doing absolutely nothing, although i have an exam tomorrow. I called her atleast 8 times, hanging up before it actually started calling. Here's what it's all about. | I'm in love with this girl, i've seen her for 1 month but she haven't talked about earlier relationships, now she said she cant start a new one because of she just got out of another one, is it a bad excuse, why haven't she told it earlier. What can i do? (I won't give up on her, she's special) |
t3_ydrog | AskReddit | What's something you started out despising but ended up loving/being more involved in it than you could have imagined? | Two things come to mind for me:
1) When I was a kid, I moved to Montreal. When I got there, I hated that city and I hated the French language. I really really hated the French language. I didn't speak a single word of French when I got there. I still remember sitting in the washroom crying because I'd lost all of my friends at my old school and I was in this strange place.
Fast forward, I'm 25 now, have since moved away from Montreal to Toronto but the French language next left me. I ended up winning top of the class 2 years in a row in Montreal. I was top of every French class I took in high school in Toronto, and ended up minoring in French at Uni. I currently teach French part-time over the weekends.
2) Standard/stick driving. It happened out of nowhere, it was one of the most impulsive things I've ever done. I bought a manual car without actually knowing how to drive stick. When I was first learning, it was the biggest nuissance in the world. I dreaded driving. I'd get in the car to go to work and the drive there would be more of a chore than work itself. I'd have fears of stalling on the highway or on a certain turn and getting wrecked by an oncoming car.
A few years later and manual driving was all I knew. People would ask me to reverse their cars out of driveways or drive them home when they were tired/not sober and my foot would reach for the clutch and my hand would drop for the stick. I've since had to give up that manual car but I can't wait until I can get my own manual car again.
It's pretty crazy how life can take things we have no desire to become involved with and make them huge parts of our lives.
So what's something you hated doing but came around to love? | French and standard cars. |
t3_3a7zi1 | relationships | My girlfriend [24F] keeps messaging me [25M] on facebook whenever I'm online and gets mad when I don't respond promptly. | My girlfriend seems to always message me when I check my facebook on my phone, probably by watching the little green dot icon on the side of facebook. I don't mind it if she had something interesting to tell me but it's usually a "whatchu up to??" kind of message. If I don't respond she gets anxious and sends me passive-aggressive messages like "okay I guess you're busy I'll leave you alone". The reality is that I was only checking my feed, or someone sent me a funny picture or something. The other thing is it becomes really annoying if this kind of thing keeps happening, because it feels like she's tracking me and constantly need me to talk to her. I rarely talk to my friends on facebook (like twice a week) and it's mostly them talking to me and me responding. I'm just not a great online conversation person, I just like to provide commentary when I talk online (eg. funny picture is funny). And then she'll sometimes bring it up when we go out together and I end up having to apologize for not answering fast enough to her messages.
I really like her though and aside from her clinginess she's essentially perfect for me. What can I do to reduce her clinginess? Or what can she do to reduce her clinginess? Maybe there's something she can do to stop her from checking up on me on facebook. | gf very clingy on facebook, need to stop her somehow |
t3_kxs5d | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, what is Reddit? | For my Anthropology class I have to do an Ethnography on a community to which I belong,
and Reddit instantly came to mind as the most interesting for an Anthropological study.
Basically just tell me what you think the Reddit community is,
how it differentiates itself from other communities, and how it functions itself. There is of course no wrong answers,
but it might be helpful to keep in mind certain ideas: modes of organizations,
social hierarchies, symbols and meanings of Reddit, the implications of up/down voting and karma,
trolling culture, subreddits, and perhaps the "general worldviews of reddit" if such a thing exists.
Also upvoting this would contribute to greater exposure and feedback (shameless plugging sorry). | Please describe the Reddit community |
t3_yh49t | AskReddit | Reddit, what's your first name, and how did you get it? | How did your parents choose to name you, and why? I'll start.
My first name is Sarah, and my name was given to me by [Prince Bandar bin Sultan] Saudi Arabia's ambassador to the United States (now a Director General). My dad used to work as a server at a fairly popular restaurant in Northern Virginia, close to the D.C area, where international/local politicians, along with former presidents (Bush Jr./Sr.) would occasionally drop by to grab a bite to eat. At the time, my dad was a recognized waiter and handled the more important customers the restaurant would have. While the prince was in town for work, he decided to stop by with his party and have dinner, with my dad being their server of the night. During this time, my dad conversed with the prince and told him that his wife (my mother) was having a baby girl and needed advice on what to name me. The prince responded with, "Sarah, because Sarah means princess, and I am a prince." | I was named "Sarah" by a prince because "Sarah" means princess. |
t3_1yns1q | relationships | Are we just bad at texting or is there something wrong? | So I'm dating this guy (gay) who is a year younger than me (16) and we've been together for almost a month. I love everything about him, he's a seriously awesome guy and he's amazing and when we're together, we cuddle and it's amazing and I make him happy (at least I think) and he makes me happy. But when we're apart, I text him and I mostly get one word answers. Does this mean he just doesn't want to text or am I bugging him? Should I not text him, even though I love texting him? Idk. And we also never have much to talk about but still love each other's company, is that bad or normal? | I love texting him but I always feel like I bug him when I do, we never have a huge amount to talk about but we love spending time together and I don't know if it's normal? |
t3_1ukp5w | relationships | Me [17F] with my guy [18 M] long time, I don't know what to do.... | I have a long distance relationship with a guy, it's not labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend because we both realize long distance is hard, but we treat eachother as though we're dating. I've told him everything, always, but lately he has gotten busy... He's going back to college, and is starting work. He is planning to visit me as soon as he gets the money because what we have is different and really special.
However, since he has had less time for me, I got doubtful if he even had those feelings anymore. I flirted with some other guys and they fell for me hard. The long-distance guy has since then discussed his feelings with me, and has begun to make plans to visit... but now I have other guys, and they're closer and have more time for me, so I find myself talking to them. They know I have this other guy, and that I like him dearly, but that doesn't change their thoughts on me. I don't know what to do, talking to them feels so wrong, but I feel so lonely... I've told the long-distance guy about them, and he was pretty calm, but I could tell it irked him. Any ideas on what to do? How do I keep from being lonely without having other guys?
Also, most of my friends support the guy that is closer to me...so I feel split in a thousand directions, because I definitely like the guy that is faraway more. | I have, basically a boyfriend, that is long distance, got lonely, talked to other guys. Now they won't stop talking to me, and I don't know what to do. |
t3_1snfbz | relationships | I (28/m) should have known better then to let her (25/f) back into my life. | We had a terrible break up last November and its taken me this entire year to get over it. Finally when I was back up on my feet and feeling good about everything and was dating again she gave me a call wanting to get a drink. I said sure and that drink turned into a week and a half of her sleeping over every night and us hanging out constantly.
After that week and a half was up she just decided she was over it I guess and haven't really heard from her since. I'm a basket case again. I feel like I'm right back where I started.
This just sucks, I hate feeling this way and I hate that I let myself do this to me again.
I'm just venting. | My ex came back into my life for a week and then left just as fast. I feel like I'm right back where I started. |
t3_srlt9 | AskReddit | Think my sister is back on drugs... | Hey Reddit, I'm an 18 yo with two older sisters (25, 27). My middle sister has always been a ~~drama queen~~ problem child, going through a rough high school life, getting to college, getting into cocaine and never graduating. As far as I know, she has relied heavily on alcohol for at least 7 years, gotten into mild pills like Adderall, and then the cocaine. In the past year, she has distanced herself even further than usual from the family, started lying a lot, and when we do see her, she is constantly agitated, can't sit still and unable to have a one-on-one conversation (about anything). She is bizarrely concerned with appearance and uses rude comments to distance herself from any conversation. I can't say that these are all new traits but they have certainly been exacerbated in the last year or so. I'm worried that she has gotten into some sort of drug but I don't know what to do with that. I want to confront her but I'm afraid. I feel like I should have some sort of evidence so she can't just write it off with a lie, but I don't know how I would find any sort of proof. I would never forgive myself, though, if I suspected it was going on, didn't do anything and something happened to her. | I want some advice on how to confront my sketchy sister on her drug abuse/addiction when I know she will probably jus tile or write me off. |
t3_16dvnv | relationships | I [24/M] have a lingering trust problem with her [28/F] fidelity/attention | Been dating this person since August with a few ups and downs; nothing I can't reconcile after talking and thinking. One topic that has come up every once and a while is that she sometimes has this overwhelming sense of aloneness / need to be with someone... to the point that she'll text me containing "...if I spent the night with someone, and didn't sleep with them... "
I have a life, but when someone (especially a SO), needs company; I'll oblige that in any way I can. So, when I get these texts or messages, I typically call and make sure she's OK and we hang out or I spend the night.
I have lingering doubts/suspicions that she might not always let me know if this is the case. I'd really like to bring this up with her; if only to ease my mind and help build a higher level of trust...
But I can't think of a non-abrasive way to come out and ask. I've let her know and shown her that I can be there and am there for her. I would feel somewhat guilty for outright telling her to not see these people (whoever they are??)... but thats exactly what I feel like I need to say. | How do I bring this topic up in a direct way and have her understand that I just want to trust her more and not being accusatory? |
t3_3xetwr | relationship_advice | [21/M] My ex wants to be friends again, I'm not too sure. | I'm not sure if I should be friends with him since it ended so badly around 2 years ago. He was a lying addict and had problems with his demands on me after we broke up, sad to say it was a very messy break up. It took about a year to finally be over it and for the memories that hurt to desensitise.
A few weeks ago he messages me, seemingly wanting friendship again after being the person to push me away. Or it could possibly be another relationship I'm not sure (due to dirty talk, it was like a booty call). Well anyway, I want to know what you guys feel about this? I've narrowed down the causes of lying down to self esteem issues and this is something I could help him come to terms with. However, the other half me is very cautious due to what's happened to me in the past. | Lying ex of two years wants friendship/sex, not sure which of the two. Messy past experience makes it hard to make up mind. However we are very alike and have a lot in common other than being in a relationship and for sex |
t3_27z5ig | relationship_advice | What can I [27/m] do to help relationship insecurities surrounding my former porn addiction? | I've met someone [24/f] recently and we seem to be really hitting it off so far. I have been straightforward about my porn usage (was addicted for about 8 or 9 years) and she has admitted that she's a little concerned/insecure about having sex with me due to the unrealistic portrayal of women that most porn creates. I'm kind of insecure about my past as well and I'm not sure what I can do to help the situation.
I'm not looking to rush anything and I realize that it is very possible that it might not work out. But what can I do to continue to improve myself and help these insecurities that myself or future partners might have? | ? - What can I [27/m] do to help relationship insecurities surrounding my former porn addiction? |
t3_223299 | personalfinance | Should I drop one of my credit cards? | I have never had a balance, I have a small financing on my car solely for credit purposes, many years of living in cash saved up, 800+ credit score. Never missed a payment on anything ever.
I have 3 personal cards: Two of them are rewards cards (Opened in 2009 and 2012. Combined cost of $85/yr - keeping these) and third I got when I was a student in 2009 (no fee). I never use the third card as it has no rewards. I think I shredded it probably 2 years ago so I didn't have to keep track of it. In a normal situation, it'd probably make sense to keep it to keep my average account age high. However, there's a kicker - it's making my average account age younger.
When I was younger, my parents added me to a department store account, which shows up as a Capital One credit card on my credit reports - with the account open date in the early 1990's. I'm still on it so my average account age shows up as over 8 years old... aka every card I have is making my average account age younger.
My third card only has $4k in credit line, the other two have a combined $23k. If I dumped it my average account age would go from 8.25 years to 9.33 years, my credit line would go from 27k to 23k.
Also, I'm a little bit sick of having a bill come every month saying $0. I almost wish Citi would cancel the card for inactivity | Should I close a credit card account to increase my average account age from 8.25 to 9.33 years, at the expense of my credit line going from 27k to 23k? |
t3_2rlv8p | Advice | Having trouble choosing what I want to go to school for | I (20f) have been thinking about what path I'd like to take with my schooling for about two years now. Three years ago I was taking two of the bare minimum pre-requisites required, English and Algebra. Then some family issues came up and I had to quit for the time being. I've been ready to go back to school for these past two years, but haven't due to the fact that I simply cannot make up my mind on what I want to do for my career. In my school, when I originally signed up, I had to tell the advisor what I wanted to do as a career before anything else. Just so that they can get my pre req's figured out and assign me to the classes needed. That's really all that is holding me back right now; I can't make up my damn mind.
I've got it narrowed down to three different paths. Two are in the medical field, one is a food/hospitality path. My parents are pushing for ANYTHING in the medical field, because there will always be work and it's usually good money, too. But I feel like my passion would be the other choice, Baking and Pastry Arts. I feel that my creativity would run wild and I would love it. But I want to be guaranteed a job; yeah people will always need cakes and pastries professionally made but I think people would need medical personnel more. I'm just afraid of going to school for something and ending up regretting all the time and money spent on something I don't love doing. Has anyone else been in the same situation? How did you make your decision? | Can't decide whether to follow the money or follow the dream with my schooling. Need help and input of others who were in similar situations. |
t3_2hqszy | relationship_advice | Me [22 M] is struggling with dating after a long relationship. | In 2012 I left an extremely long relationship 5+ years (she cheated with more than one guy alongside a healthy dose of emotional manipulation to me over a few years). After about 6 months of being single and getting over the past relationship I decided to try to get fit again and try to date and find someone who I could actually form a healthy relationship with. During this 6 month period I gained a fair bit of muscle and reverted back to my body type of doing several sports a week. Keep in mind before this process I was fairly average (I.E I wasn't overweight just not "fit").
...
What I didn't expect was to be met with a huge amount of entitlement and hypocrisy. While dating I found that many girls have a prince charming fantasy and don't actually want much more than a guy who is anything other than a stereotype. Of the girls I've met a number of them were initially very interested but eventually ended up with the "bro" type other than myself.
...
Using a few dating sites I determined that very few people look at anything past your pictures. I tested this using two otherwise identical profiles only swapping out a picture of myself from before and after I got fit. The difference was literally 5+ messages a day (fit profile) to nothing (average profile). I experimented further and removed any semblance of information about myself from the fit profile and these numbers increased. This was mirrored in all other forms of dating as the less I told someone about myself and the more sarcastic/witty I acted the longer I would end up dating someone. I'm the kind of guy who loves to talk and have deeper conversations, loves poetry, and even has a soft spot for romance in general. What I've determined is that apparently this is unattractive...
...
As a side note: no, I don't reveal the romantic side of myself in an odd way, most of the people I've gone out with invite me to hang out with them afterwards as a "friend", they just aren't interested any longer.
... | I'm actually beginning to fear that I won't find someone because my romantic personality and my hope of having something other than just a physical relationship. What should I do r/relationships_advice ? |
t3_1mqa37 | AskReddit | Broke up a bar fight the other night. What similar stories do you have? | I was hanging out with my girl, at the bar she works at. Prior to us getting there, this one guy named Barry, was apparently being verbally abusive to a few people. We were standing outside on their front patio and he had gone inside to use the bathroom. I could see thru the windows him get into a verbal altercation with someone outside the bathroom. Then on his way back towards the front of the bar, he started yelling at a friend of mine, calling him a cunt and other various things. My friend tried to walk away from him and Barry attacked him from behind. Another mutual friend tried to step in and stop the guy, and Barry ended up with his hands wrapped around the guys throat. I went inside to break it up, ended up putting Barry in a choke hold trying to restrain him. He wouldn't calm down and cooperate, so I choked him out and dropped him on the floor, where he ended up hitting his head on a bookshelf. The hit was loud enough that people heard it outside. By that point, the bartender had finally made it over to where we were, and got him up and made him leave. It had been quite a while since I had been in a situation like that. Felt good to know I could still handle myself. | Choked out a douchebag named Barry. |
t3_tl22k | AskReddit | How do I quiet a pack of dogs that lives behind my parents and harass us daily? | I'm home for the summer again to help my parents with some yard and house work. Our neighbors behind us have accumulated four dogs over the last couple years, and they've ultimately formed a wolf pack (not in the friendly way). Our houses are gated off but it has gotten so severe that we can't even let my 11 year old gorgeous yellow lab out the back because she gets harassed. Furthermore, the dogs are outside all day, and even waking us up througout the night. We've called animal control 2 years running now and still nothing. What can I do to save my parents, my dog's, and my sanity this summer? Are there any legal areas my neighbors may possibly be infringing upon or anything you can think of? I'm truly stuck and hate these fuckers with a passion! Note: my neighbors know I hate their dogs, if anything were to happen, I would be accused. | how do you quiet four dogs that bark on a minute to minute basis throughout every day. |
t3_122lzj | Parenting | Questions about entertaining neighborhood children on Halloween night | First off, I apologize if this is not the appropriate place to ask this, but I figured parents are the people I need to talk to so I came here first! If there is another subreddit where this would be better suited, please let me know!
So, I am just starting my own princess part business (where a princess comes to your house for your kid's party) and I thought Halloween would be an excellent time to advertise and at least get my name out to my neighborhood, as well as do something fun and free for all the little kids that live nearby.
My idea is to dress up as a princess, say Cinderella, then give her a little costume accessory (a small mask, witch hat or cat ears and face or something little like that) so that it is Cinderella dressed up as a cat and not some grown up dressed as Cinderella. Does that work? Will kids get that? Or will they just think I am someone dressed as a princess?
Then I was thinking of sitting outside with my candy and some story books (Princess Halloween stories of course) and read stories to kids and pass out candy. My only thing is, would kids even be interested in stopping to hear a story while they are trying to gather candy? I thought it might be a good chance for a break but I'm not sure kids are even in to that. Would your child want to stop the candy hunt to hear a story from a princess for 2-5 minutes? What would they want to do if they encountered a "real" princess while trick-or-treating? Pictures? Autographs? Nothing?
Does any of this sound like something kids would like on Halloween or would I just be sitting there all alone dressed as a princess dressed as a cat?
Thanks for your input! If you have any other ideas of what I can do, let me hear 'em! | Own a princess party business; want to advertise in my neighborhood on Halloween by dressing up as a princess. What should I do to engage the neighborhood kids other than just handing out candy? |
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