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t3_16s2i5 | relationship_advice | [19/m] my girlfriend (19/f) gets pretty anxious about avoiding pregnancy. | Obviously we don't want kids just yet so we're very careful when we have sexy times but because she's not on the pill and we often start out with me being bareback (although I either wear a condom way before finishing or I pull out and we do other stuff way before finishing) there's always a niggling fear that something may have gone wrong. Nothing ever has so far, and on the two occasions (with about a year's distance between them) when things looked risky, she took the plan B pill just to be safe and there was no sign of a baby having taken before the pill was (meaning intense side-effects of the pill). So, in other words, while we aren't exactly the safest couple, we have a pretty good track record. In spite of this, every month, a week before her period is due, she gets really tense about it and worries about whether or not it will arrive this time.
While I would never express this to her, I think she's overreacting about this whole thing ,and while I understand that I *don't understand what this is like for her,* I'm getting kinda tired of it.
Can you suggest a way that I can comfort her without it coming up again next month, or something I can do to help her feel more secure, or something I can tell her to convince her that she needs to chill? | How can I get my girlfriend to calm down about pregnancy? |
t3_18pv0m | relationship_advice | Need some advice on methods of holding back! | Hey guys, i am a 26 yr old female, i have been single for over a year and have been super comfortable with life being single, i got a puppy, planning a veggie garden and just pretty much got my life sorted again after a devastating heartbreak from my last relationship. Then just over a week ago (on my birthday) blind drunk i hooked up with an old friend i knew when i was 14 or 15. I had a crush on him back then, i thought it was just a teenage thing tho. I had an amazing night, although i don't remember a lot of it he did stay over and spent most of the next day with me (we didn't have sex and still haven't). We were texting throughout the week then Friday night we had a proper date. Everything i am feeling right now is pretty intense towards him and its kinda freaking me out, i want to be texting him all the time and its taking many forces of sheer willpower to stop me from doing it. I need advice from guys on what its like if they are always getting texts from a girl and advice from girls about how to stay cool and aloof, but still let him know you are interested. | I need advice on what i can do to stop myself from texting a boy all the time and also on how to stay cool and aloof. |
t3_4ignsk | relationships | I [26F] do not want to go to my cousins [17F] baby shower | Sometimes I'm very embarrassed of my family. My mother abandoned us a children multiple times for different men after having us when she was 17. My aunt followed a similar path, and my cousin began acting out when she was a preteen. I'd see her chatting on Facebook to adult men, and my aunt did nothing. She started smoking at 15, and my aunt did nothing. She dropped out of high school and ran away, then my aunt did nothing. In fact, when she ran away the last time, my aunt called my mother wailing about how "everyone abandons her", and I was disgusted my aunt made this about her.
When my cousin was young, she always said she wanted to be just like me, since I was the only person in my family to attend college and the only female not to have a baby outside of marriage or before age 18. Now, I'm pretty sure she has some type of narcisstic personality disorder. She recently announced she is pregnant with her boyfriend who has never held a job and is an overall gross person (he poops in buckets because he's too lazy to go to the bathroom sometimes) and my family is EXCITED about it. My heart is broken, she had so much potential and now is making the same mistakes as the rest of the family. I feel like my family thinks this is okay, because literally every other female in my family has done this same exact thing, and they've left behind them a string of broken relationships, abandoned children, and criminal behavior.
Long story short, I do not feel like I should pretend to be happy about something like this, when I'm almost positive my cousin did this on purpose, and my aunt allowed this to happen by letting the boyfriend move in when my cousin was 15/16. I love my family, but am I wrong for refusing to congratulate my cousin or attend baby showers? | 17 year old cousin is pregnant and my whole family is so ecstatic about it, but I'm tired of pretending like their endless drama is OK. Wrong to take a stand on this? |
t3_ocol8 | relationships | I want and I don`t want to break up with him! What should i do? | Im 17(F) , he`s 18(M). We`ve been together for 1 year and 10 months. In the begining i trusted him and i believed that he loves me.
But about a year ago he stopped calling me, his behavior with me was very bad. It was like he didn`t want to see me and i was feeling really bad. I started asking him what`s wrond and ofc he said everything`s alright. But it wasn`t, A month after we talked about his behavior i found out that he was chatting with a girl from his school (we learn in different schools). I yelled at him and he said he will stop.
On the 14 February he invited me to his place. On the next day he went to school and i was still in his house and i checked his Skype and he was still chatting with her. It was obvious that he liked her. I started behaving really cold. A week after that i told him i read everything. He started apologizing and telling me that he loves me. I didn`t believe, but i didn`t brake up with him.
A month ago he started behaving like this again, but we talked and he started calling me and we started going out more often. But im still not sure if he loves me, even when he says he does. He even wanted to break up with me because i always say he doesnt love me.
We`re still together but I can`t trust him and i don`t beleive that he loves me. Always when he is with a girl i think that the same thing will happen. I never wanted to be like one of these girls who freak out about their bf, but i became one of them.
I want to be with him but i dont know if he wants to be with me and i dont want to look pathetic and chasing him.So redditors, could u give me advice? | My BF started flirting with another girl, i didnt brake up with him but i started freaking out, because i want to be with him. I dont believe when he says he loves me. |
t3_4emci3 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my friend and class mate [15 F] of two years, I feel like her boyfriend is a bad influence, he is a lier and a drug abuser, but I don't dare make a move because I have feelings for her. | I have known Madeline for a long time and I know she comes from a nice home with a decent family background, but yet she decides to hang out with druggies and is dating one.
Her boyfriend has gone so far to almost OD and was hospitalized for several weeks for a "chemical imbalance", and he claims that he only smokes pot. I feel like he is lying and I don't want my friend Maddie to get involved in hard drugs herself.
She complains all the time to me about how he never text back, and about how he ditches school and stays at home to smoke pot.
But I also have feelings for her on a personal level, and I don't dare to tell her that her boyfriend is most likely lying to her for fear that I am just biased against him because I want to be with Maddie myself. | Friend and girl I like is dating a druggie who claims to smoke pot, but I believe he has done harder drugs and is lying to her, don't dare to tell her for fear of my being biased. |
t3_danb6 | AskReddit | DAE have a fear of heights at only low to mid-range heights. | I fly, I skydive, I go cliff diving and these great heights never seem to bother me.
However, Low to mid-range heights cause me to have major anxiety attacks.
As an example, we were at the Minnesota State Fair yesterday and we took the Skyride (open air, not gondola style) across the fairgrounds.
The ride is only about 50 feet off the ground. I had a massive anxiety attack. It took everything in me to keep my composure and not start screaming that I want off the ride (which would have been impossible at that point).
I have no issue when I am flying (commercial or recreational), I have never had an issue with jumping out of a plane (have done 2 AFF jumps).
If I stand on the roof of a 3 or 5 story building and look over the side I feel really uneasy but if I stand on the roof of a 30 story building it has no impression on me.
I just wonder if anyone else is the same regarding fear of heights. | Great heights don't bother me at all. Low heights around 50 feet cause me major anxiety. |
t3_23miwz | relationships | How does one start dating? [25f] | I'm a 25 year old woman who has never dated before. Never kissed or had sex or any of that jazz. With 26 fast approaching I'm realizing that my window for dating opportunities is getting smaller and smaller as people my age start settling down.
My problem is that I have a few factors working against me when it comes to dating. One, I'm just not attractive. I have everything that society hates when it comes to looks and they're unfortunately things only surgery can fix (my nose does a fantastic impression of a butt.)
Two, I have a low sex drive. Masturbation is once a week or less, and it's usually more of a "well I'm bored, might as well" than a "omgsohorny".
And three, I have severe anxiety about pretty much anything that's new to me. The thought of sex terrifies me, the thought of attempting to flirt with men terrifies me, just the thought of men in general terrifies me. (I'm already in therapy for my anxiety, don't worry about that.)
So my question is . . . how do I do this? Pushing through my lack of looks and my fears, how can I successfully enter the dating world without chasing too many guys away? | I have no experience when it comes to dating and I'm slowly morphing into a crazy cat lady without it. |
t3_13a12s | AskReddit | After getting 18/20 on a MENSA test, and scoring a 95% on my psychology test about memory, I somehow managed to lose $10 in my car between the speaker box, and pick up window in a drive-thru. Reddit, what's your best "I'm an idiot/this is ironic" story? | In my psychology class we took a Mensa test to see how we process information and I scored nearly at the top with an 18/20. Then I got 95/100 on a test regarding memory and how we encode, store, and retrieve it.
2 hours later at a Jack-in-the-box drive thru I order my food, take out my money, drive 10 ft forward, realize at the window I don't have the money, then proceed to park and search for the money in my car for 15 minutes while the workers stare at me and my stupidity. I left in defeat and after searching some more at my house I still haven't found anything :( | Workers at my local Jack-in-the-box think I'm an idiot, and some where in my car a $10 bill went into hiding. |
t3_11mfgu | AskReddit | My boyfriend accidently stepped on the family pet and killed him. Reddit, what's been the most destructive yet honest mistake made by a guest in your home? | Years ago, when I still lived with my family, my boyfriend was over and was making us a big pot of oatmeal. Our little budgie (aka a parakeet) was very personable and always wanted to be on somebody's shoulder. He attempted to climb up my boyfriend's pantleg to get to his shoulder, but my boyfriend didn't see him because he was holding a big pot of water and stepped on him. Unfortunately, it didn't immediately kill him, and he suffered a lot before we were able to get him to the vet's where he finally went.
Being that he was the only pet we ever had, my sister and I mourned pretty hard as well as our parents. My boyfriend left the house as soon as I went to sleep that day and felt too guilty to talk to me for the following two weeks. No one (that I know of) was mad at him or spoke of the incident ever again.
This was about 7 years ago. The boyfriend and I broke up later that year for reasons unrelated to this incident, but he still mentions how bad he feels from time to time. We're still friends. | My boyfriend stepped on my beloved bird and killed him. Myself and my family never held it against him, but he won't forgive himself. |
t3_ui277 | relationships | When is it not time to "fight" for someone? | I will try to explain as best I can. I am a 26 male and she is a 23 female.
We have been playing around together for a while now, bene-friends if you will. Everything has been going smoothly for the past 3 months now. We have known each other for about 2 years now, only in the past 3 months have we been sleeping together.
That is to say until a new guy came along in her office, they started hanging out more and we started hanging out less. Though we kept the same arrangement, they have not slept together but have gone out on dates.
I am sitting here wondering if I should say something, tell her that I had started to develop something in my mind that is more than just what we are now. | 'Friend' is starting to date another guy while still sleeping with me, I want to tell her how I feel. Should I? |
t3_4d8uqg | personalfinance | [20M] saving for cheap car, $1500-2000 range. Advice on how to search for the right car? | Alright, so I need a car asap. It doesn't need to be anything except reliable.
I currently have ~$1000 saved, and I work two jobs making $350/wk give or take $100 due to variable hours.
I require the car to be reliable and steadfast enough to run without issue or concern for at least one year, more would be ideal. I want at least 20mpg, and the car can be a small pickup or sedan.
The cars I have in mind are Honda Accord/Civic, or better yet, Prelude.
Must be manual transmission.
What I'm asking is how to be thorough here, how do I ensure I don't squander that $1500? I need to be certain the car I wind up with with get me to and from work everyday long enough to get a more long-term car.
Thanks for your time! | I need to ensure I get a reliable car for $1500 |
t3_3bgeqt | relationships | Should I [19 M] stop texting crush? | I am 19 and in another state than her. We had a thing several years ago but it never became anything super serious since I moved a lot. We continued texting everyday for a long time until I got sick of not being able to be in a relationship with her and threw away the number to prevent me from texting her. Early March she texts me happy birthday and since then we started texting again. She told me that she had a crush on me back then but when I asked her at the beginning of the month if she still did I got a "idk I think I like you as a friend." I found out later that she was dating someone when I asked her that. Lately she has been texting me first and initiating conversations everyday. I think she broke up with her boyfriend since she deleted all the pictures and posts about him from Facebook. Should I just stop texting her? Is it even healthy for me to continue texting her even though I like her a lot? Am I permanently friend zoned? | Is texting a crush after being friend zoned bad? |
t3_2r5uio | relationships | Me [19 M] with my ex [19 M] of six months, life changed for the better right after she left me. | I'll keep a long story short, we had a great relationship up until the past couple weeks. My depression and lack of motivation was too much to her to handle, and I don't blame her. I turned into an awful person, someone who I don't even consider to be me. Not even 2 hours after she left me in a teary breakup, I got a job offer with a dad's friend. It's not the most glamorous job, but I can start saving and taking college courses while I try to find out what I want to do for a living. It was some of the best and worst news of my life in the same day, but I already feel so much better. I'm really excited for the job, and I have a newfound sense of motivation I haven't had in months since my military plans fell apart. I know she still does care about me, but my life did a complete 180 in a day. I know it might be too soon, but I really think the relationship can be salvaged. What do you guys think? | depression drove girlfriend away, but i got a job offer and a whole bunch of new doors opened up. no longer depressed, and i think relationship can be salvaged. |
t3_34jv4y | relationships | Relationship issues have wiped out my [23M] appetite, I can't eat without vomiting my food back out, please help | I'm planning on breaking up with my girlfriend soon and this entire situation has thrown me into a depressive spiral.
I have eaten about one meal per day for the past 5 days. My sleep schedule is destroyed and I am only getting 3-4 hours of sleep each night and lying in bed through the afternoon. My stomach is in pain but I am not hungry, I've eaten a few meals with my family just to have to excuse myself to the bathroom because it won't stick. I've also been dry-heaving just thinking about how shitty the reality of the situation has become. This is freaking me out because it's never happened before, I have no history of disordered eating or depression like this.
I'm going to be going out with friends this weekend and I want to be well enough to have a good time and take my mind off of things. What do I do to begin stomaching food again? | shitty breakup about to happen, can't eat, can't sleep, need help being able to eat food without puking it back up. |
t3_1h5nhd | offmychest | I almost beat an old womans ass tonight. And it would have been all her fault | I went up to check on my grandmas house with my gf while my Gma was out of town. Her old lady neighbor has a key to check on the house as well. Well I'm up at her house with my gf, and we take off to fill up the gas can to mow. I locked all the doors and closed her fence gate on the way out.
So we get back and the fence gate is open. No big deal, someone might have thrown a ball into the back yard since there's a big field where people throw footballs and stuff right behind her house. I go around and check, the fucking side door is open. I start freaking out, getting ready to bust in with my little Swiss army multitool with the little blade out and ready. But my gf stops me and we call 911 and wait for the cops to arrive. I'm livid the entire time because I feel like someone is fucking with my grandma and that boils my blood.
I'm peeking through her fence when I see someone come out of the side door, crouched down low with some stuff in their hands. I ran back to my gf and tell her to call 911 again, and I get ready to surprise and beat the fucker as much as I can. I'm sitting there cocked back, ready to tackle the person and swing when I see its this little old 70 year old woman, hunched over and holding some flowers she had bought for my grandma. Crisis averted, cops come and clear house anyways and were all good.
Didn't know who else to tell and I wanted to get out my anger that she would come into the house and not call us and warn us. What if I was inside? It woulda been a lot worse since she just let herself in and I was inside. She doesn't know how close I came to tackling her and beating some ass. God dammit old woman. | checking on gmas house while she's out of town, leave to fill up gas can and come back to find someone inside hose. I was about to whoop some ass when I realized it was her 70 year old neighbor who just went right on in and scared me shitless |
t3_ilyqo | BreakUps | Am I going about it the right way? | I am 22yo male she is the same age. We've been together for 2 years but I no longer want to be in this relationship, she has become jealous and insecure, gives me a hard time over little things. When I bring it up she changes to how she used to be and apologises profusely. We met at college and have now both left and gone to our respective parts of the country.
After a lot of thinking I am certain I do not want to carry this relationship over long distance. I am planning on breaking up with her over the phone as I don't have the money for the train to see her in person. Is that a horrible thing to do and does it make me a horrible person? The thought of it riddles me with guilt. | Is breaking up with a LD GF of 2years over the phone a despicable thing to do? |
t3_16dz3v | relationships | F(16) dating M(18) for 11 months with only 4 dates and nothing more than hugging, what do I do? | Okay so I've been with my boyfriend, if i can even call him that, for almost 11 months now. We met 4 years ago and became good friends a year later. I didn't start seeing him romantically until 16 months ago. Then we were reven closer before we started dating, talking everyday, staying up till 2-3am to talk, flirting, spending lots of time together etc.
He asked me out and we went on our first date a couple weeks later. Things went okay and we kept talking but overtime we started talking less and less online. We spent as much time at school together as possible but it got harder and harder. Our last date was on our 6 month anniversary but we didn't really acknowledge thats what it was.
Now when we talk we talk into a corner and end up sitting silently. Theres so much i want to say and things we could talk about but it feels like we are sitting on the edge of something and one wrong move and we will fall. All of my friends and his friends try to intervene and it just makes things worse
I still really care about it and its becoming so much emotional strain for not much return. I don't know if its worth continuing. I've arranged a time to go out and talk next week but i still dont know if i'm going to talk about how to improve our relationship or if i'm going to break up with him. I know im quite young and i feel a bit stupid for making this a big deal but i could really use some help. | In a stagnant relationship and not sure if I should try and work it out or end it. |
t3_25cbxa | relationships | 24/M just broke up with me [23/F] after pressuring him to decide what he wants. | I decided to ask my bf of 2 months to make a decision on whether he wanted to be in the relationship seriously or not. I was at the point where I knew I would start getting emotionally invested and something in my gut told me that I had to make sure he was on the same page as me.
He avoided answering the question and said he wasn't sure. Finally I pushed him so much that he decided he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore and that he didn't see any long term potential. He feels that I gave him an ultimatum and he felt pressured to make this decision.
I didn't want to break up, but I also don't want to be with someone who isn't interested in being with me. I know we were only together a short time so it shouldn't be too hard to get over, I just have this nagging guilty feeling like it was my fault. I keep thinking we would probably still be together if I hadn't pressed the issue. Despite this, I know it's probably for the best, because why be with someone who can't even be sure they want to be with you...
Just wanting some ears for listening and maybe perspectives from others that have gone through something similar. | I pressured my bf to decide if he wanted to be with me and is serious about the relationship and he decided to break up. |
t3_2sfysg | askwomenadvice | (25M) Obtained feelings for a woman (23F) I did not know was engaged but still told her that I was interested in being more than that prior to knowing. Do you think she will still want to maintain the friendship, would you? | We both go to the same school. We would occasionally have classes together and since I first had her as a classmate (4yr ago) I have been wanting to at least introduce myself and talk to her. However she was always to herself and seemed to put her studies first so I never saw an opening to do it.
More recently we had the same class and the same lab (<1yr ago). For one experiment we were in the same group and that's where I saw a chance say hi, talk, and eventually get her number.
We have been talking back and fourth since then (as friends). More recently I asked her to have lunch we me over winter break, the text was a little bit more assertive then I have been in others. I think she got the gist in which she mentioned she had move in recently with her fiance and time wouldn't allow for us meeting over break but we could chat in school (we both are still attending).
I replied with a text agreeing that meeting up at school would work out the best, congratulated her on the engagement and apologized if any of my previous text had been inappropriate. She responded that none of them had been and they were "sweet and thoughtful".
I guess some of the feelings I have may be disappointment with myself, maybe had I said something back then things could have been different. However I would like to maintain the friendship, I have enjoyed the conversations we've had so far. | Would it be good to maintain the friendship or should I just let that go, do you think she would still like to be friends, would you? |
t3_33fq75 | relationships | Me [22F] with my husband [23M] of one year (together 5 years): He struggles with depression and I feel the urge to play victim. | My husband is chronically depressed, and I have spent so many years being the collateral damage to his struggle that I now often get the urge to be the victim in many situations.
Don't get me wrong - he's loving, somewhat responsible (and improving on that front) and very emotionally trustworthy. But in our marriage, he's also always the one who's struggling, and I'm always the stable one.
His depression takes a toll on me emotionally, and he doesn't understand that completely. All I want is to cry and cry and cry and for him to comfort me and validate everything I'm feeling. . . . but:
1) I can't dump all of that on him (his depression isn't his fault and he's not doing anything wrong), and
2) we're very different people so even if I did try to fully explain myself, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't understand.
Lately, I find myself looking for reasons to be hurt or upset for reasons related to him, and I know I'm overreacting because my actual need for understanding, validation, and comfort is unmet. It's causing some tension in our relationship and I don't know how to resolve it effectively and kindly. | Loving husband is chronically struggling with depression - I am craving some comfort and validation. |
t3_yagev | AskReddit | My grandmother was just conned out of thousands of dollars by someone posing as her grandson's lawyer. Is there anything we can do to track this guy down and get the money back? | Long story long, apparently this guy called my grandmother today and told her he was her grandson's lawyer and that her grandson wrecked a rental car in NY, is in the hospital, and needs money to get medical help. He told her to transfer something around 2 to 3 thousand dollars to someone via Western Union. She did. He then called again some time later and said that her grandson needed more money due to legal fees and to transfer the money, again somewhere around 2 to 3 thousand dollars, by the same means only to a different name. She, again, did what he asked. Sometime later this evening she finally calls my mother and tells her what had happened and if her grandson was ok. Of course, everything was ok, and her grandson wasn't even anywhere near NY. They call the police and tell them about everything that happened, and the police essentially said there's nothing they can do since it was an anonymous cash transfer. Needless to say, I'm pissed. I know there are people out there capable of doing heartless shit like this, but it's still hard to believe these guys can actually live with themselves. I'm also pissed because it seems like the police have just shrugged their shoulders and said we give up. Does anyone here know if there's anything we can do to try and catch this guy? I feel like the police are just giving us bullshit excuses because they think it's not worth the trouble. | My grandmother was conned out of thousands of dollars and the police say there isn't anything they can do because it was an anonymous cash transfer. Is there anything we can do? |
t3_331mwf | books | Bookmarks? | Lately I've been getting heavily into reading and one of my major problems are bookmarks.
The "traditional" rectangle of plastic / paper / cardboard just isn't cutting it for me these days as it ether slips out or gets thrown out.
"Dog earring" a books page corner is useful in short term but accelerates the damaging process of the book. (My farther & librarian always said it was a horrible thing to do)
So I've settled on a origami "Corner pocket" style of book mark for my paper backs, but is still prone to high damage in travel.
So, what kinds of book marks do you use? The pros and cons of them? And finally any recommendations? | Current book marks not work, looking for new ones. Suggestions? |
t3_cbgtw | AskReddit | Am I the only one who enjoys countering useless information with more useless information for sake of wasting time at work? (Reposted from DAE) | I was just approached by someone informing me of an issue with a tool that I DON'T use. He proceeded to explain, fully, the steps that he's taken to ensure the issue has been identified and will be resolved. He also spent sometime explaining to me how to determine if, when using the tool that I don't use, the data that is being displayed is being affected by this particular issue.
After I completely understood the issue that will never affect me, I decided to thoroughly explain an issue that I have seen in a different tool that he doesn't use. I proceeded to show him the difference, using data tables and graphs, between a fully functioning report and the issue I was having. I did not let him leave until I was sure that he had a complete grasp of the issue that I was seeing in the tool that he doesn't use for his job. | I was a douche to a douche at work |
t3_1uhvix | relationship_advice | (19/f) Worried that my boyfriend's (20/m) anger happens too often. Have no idea how to deal with it or how to resolve it. | I suppose it's important to mention that we are a long-distance relationship, and have met twice and stayed together for a few months last summer, and previously a few months ago.
Anyways, to the point... my boyfriend seems to get mad about little things, but each time it makes me absolutely livid. I get PISSED, which never happens to me. He just, gets mad at things that absolutely don't matter, in my opinion at least.
For example, he got really, really mad recently when I didn't want buy the 60$ headset he suggested to me on impulse. Mad enough that he had to end the call. Why does he get mad when I'm the one choosing how to spend my money? To him it doesn't make any sense to NOT buy it, and he sees my views on it as utterly illogical. I felt like I was almost getting bullied into buying something. I feel really guilty when he gets mad.
When I was visiting him, he was mad at me for accidentally dropping a bag that had some packets of ranch in it with the food we just bought. Some of the ranch spilled in the bag, and he angrily said that "you should go get some napkins because you spilled that shit everywhere", or something like that. He sounded pissy and so I stomped down the stairs as loud as I could because it made me mad, and thrust the napkins in his hands when I got back. Childish of me I guess, but. I took the bag that had the spilled ranch in it, no apologies from him for being pissed over nothing. I even angrily told him "It's just some ranch in a bag."
Am I too passive? Do I just not understand? All this shit just sounds trivial to me, and maybe that's all it is. Am I looking too far into it? It just makes me so upset sometimes when it happens.
I don't know, I just can't see myself continually dealing with this. | My boyfriend gets pissed sometimes at what I think is trivial. Him being pissed makes me pissed and unable to really think straight or solve anything when it happens. No apologies from him for these repeated occurrences, and I have no idea how to pose this to him. |
t3_1mi880 | relationships | I [19F] am thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend [26M]. Help? | Ok. So. My boyfriend is a really nice guy, and I really like him, but I'm not sure whether to break up with him or not. He's currently in another state with his family, but we talk on Skype every day. Lately it seems like all he wants to talk about is sex, and when I confront him about it, he says that's not all he cares about in the relationship. Aaaaand then he's talking about it again five minutes later. I've told him that I want to wait to have sex, but he keeps pushing it.
We got into a pretty big argument about it the other day and tried to talk through it last night. I've been thinking about this a lot today, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm in college right now, which doesn't really give me a lot of time to talk to him during the day, so I end up losing sleep at night to talk to him. I know, I know. I should focus on school and not guys. I get it. But I really like this guy. A lot. But I think we want different things in this relationship.
This part is hard, so I'll just come out and say it: He has a rape fantasy. I'm not ok with this. At all. And he knows that. Every time he brings it up, he apologizes over and over, thinking that it freaks me out. And most of the time, it does. But I've told him flat out how I feel about it, and he tries to respect it.
Also, I think I should mention that he's my first boyfriend. We've been together for about three months now. | Thinking about breaking up with him. All he talks about is sex. Not sure what to do. |
t3_3c0yjv | tifu | TIFU By Jazzing Up My Leftovers | For some reason, I like to think of myself no slouch in the kitchen, probably as a result of not wanting to waste food and seeing Gordon Ramsay smack enough uncooked fish on Hell's Kitchen that I vaguely remember which flavors are ok together. I'm not saying I'm a great cook, just passably creative enough not to get bored when I have leftovers.
Today's challenge was vegetable soup. I didn't have enough left for a bowl, but it was enough to have as a meal with a few other ingredients. Then, I notice a ripe, delectable avocado beckoning to me from the counter. Of course! Tortilla soup! I and added some cumin, chili powder, and garlic to the soup and reheated it. When the soup was warm, I added shredded cheddar, diced avocado, and a bit of sour cream.
I sat down to enjoy my leftover masterpiece and that's when it happened. I bit into a green bean. A GREEN BEAN. I forgot that I usually put peas, green beans, and carrots into my veggie soup because this portion was from the bottom of the pot and there weren't many left. Guys, it's not the worst thing that could've happened, but those flavors do NOT mix. No chance to mistake myself for anything but what I am. A frickin food failure. | Peas should NOT EVER be in the same dish as avocados. |
t3_1jg0eh | relationships | Me[18M/F] with my ___ [18M/F] duration, short-description | Just a little summary: Met this girl at a friends wedding two months ago. We hit it off and had great chemistry. I just went and visited her last week and head a great time. She will be moving to the same city as me in a couple of months and I think we plan on trying to date.
The only concern I had was that she would bring up her ex-boyfriend sometimes. They broke up 7 months ago after he cheated on her. She said that she doesn't have feelings for him or anything like that. She said that he really hurt her and knew I wouldn't do that and was a genuinely kind person.
Also, she has a lot of guy friends because she is a nice person, but can be sort of naive to guys flirting with her. A few friends of hers have tried to come on to her and when she doesn't reciprocate they get weird. Which is why she said she liked me because I just wanted to get to know her and wasn't expecting anything.
Should I be concerned with being compared to other people even though it's in a positive light? | In a budding relationship. Should I be worried about being compared to other guys even in a positive way? |
t3_u4z84 | AskReddit | Is there anybody else out there? | I want to know if anybody else experienced a childhood similar to mine. I'm currently 19 and away from home. Around age 11 my mom grew a deep hatred for my father and around 16 she stopped acknowledging his existence. My father lost his job when i was 14 and only in the last year has started working a part time job. The kicker here is that my parents still live together, just in separate rooms of the house. My mom sleeps in the master bedroom and my dad claims the family room. They hardly ever exchange words. I have to younger brothers who are 12 and 14. My mom has always tried to give me the best life she could working 65+ hours a week. But recently has decided that she can no longer put up with dealing with my father. She provides about 90% of my family's income and is by no means struggling. She wants my dad to move to St. Louis in order to help his parents and try to make it somewhat subtle that they are going to eventually separate. However, I fear that my mom will not follow through with it because she has ask my father not to come home before and he called her out on it and said that it wasn't fair to my brothers and I. I want the best for my mom and I know that my dad isn't exactly getting the greatest deal here, but I am concerned with how my brothers are going to deal with my dad not being there. I want my dad to move so that my brothers don't have to experience the same awkward situations I did in high school.
Also sorry if my writing is poor, it's not a strength of mine. | Is there anybody else besides myself that lived with parents who slept under the same roof but never acknowledged the others existence? |
t3_ids9t | AskReddit | Employer denying my sick leave before fiscal year end | I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
I work for a large, publicly traded company. Our fiscal year end is 6/30/11. As a California employee, my company gives us PTO and sick leave. They are separate and sick leave does not carry over. (Employees in other states only receive PTO, but the total # of hours are the same as my PTO + sick leave) I took some sick leave this week, and noticed that it appears to be taken out of my sick leave for FY2012. I had time remaining for FY2011 that I was trying to finish using up.
I emailed HR and a "payroll specialist" emailed me back informing me that the last day to report PTO for FY2011 was 6/26 because the week of 6/27 is the beginning of another payroll period and signifies the first payroll period for FY2012. The "payroll specialist" informed me that the sick time I reported earlier this week would be taken from my FY2012 hours.
Is this legal? I understand how it is convenient for them to make these cutoffs, but am I entitled to the sick leave that i didnt take until this week? | Took sick leave during FY2011 but payroll schedule is already in FY2012, and subsiquenly lost sick leave from FY2011. Is this legal? |
t3_3oyaqu | relationships | Me [23 M] with my fiance [20 F] 2 years, I feel like we have hit a cultural barrier. | I met my fiance abroad, and we hit it off immediately. I have been in a few serious relationships in my life, and this one felt very healthy. We never stopped flirting with each other until recently.
This is where our cultural barrier comes into play. My family members insisted that I sit in the backseat my whole life.
It was never about our safety. In my parent's cultural views, it is considered an act of honor to chauffeur your guest around the city. It made me feel great that they treasured me so much as a child that they would honor me so highly.
In our early years dating, she would usually sit in the backseat with her friend while my friend rode shotgun. After we moved in together she began to wonder why I insisted I chauffeured her. Soon after, she became very angry when I argued her resistance.
It is difficult to keep her out of the passenger seat. I feel it is degrading for her to not be chauffeured in the car. Does anybody else here suffer from cultural divides in serious relationships? | I enjoy chauffeuring my fiance around, but she wants to sit in the front seat. |
t3_1kpco2 | relationships | I[24M] seem to be falling for a coworker [24?F] that I met a few months ago, help! | I have been told, and have read on here that workplace relationships are best avoided, so I guess I need some help.
We are both salaried employees at a very large company. While we both work in the same area, we are in different departments, and there is no chance of one of us being under the supervision of the other.
I have almost zero experience with women. I went on two dates the summer after high school (graduated 07), and none since then. That girl was pretty cool, the dates went well (movie, followed by lunch later that week), but after the two dates, she went on a 6 week trip to Europe, and I never saw her again. Never built up the courage to ask anyone out in college.
Back to the present, I am not sure if the girl at work is interested in me and/or flirting with me, or if she is merely acknowledging my existence with pleasant conversation (which almost no other women seem to do).
That all being said, I am having a hard time... distracting myself with other people to be interested in. The place I work at has hundreds of employees, most of whom are 30-60 years old. I am not very social, and usually have a hard time making friends, mostly because I dislike other people or find them boring. Online dating does not seem too promising, from the browsing that I have done.
SOOOO, where do I go from here? Where can I go to meet women, other than the internet? Should I try to flirt back at the girl at work (I really want to)?
I eagerly await responses while I finish last night's episode of Breaking Bad. | Interested in a girl at work, having a hard time finding a distraction in town. |
t3_s8dw1 | AskReddit | My Nana is in the hospital and based on what I've heard from the doctors I get the feeling that she might not make it. If she dies, what process do I need to go through to tie up all of her loose ends (for loss of a better phrase)? | My Nana is 89 and this past weekend I was told she "had a fall" and was sent to hospital. When my parents went to go visit her, the doctor told them that it was more than just a fall. She may have had a heart attack and most likely had organ failure.
I don't know why the doctor seems unsure. I would think it'd be pretty obvious to tell if someone had a heart attack and/or organ failure.
Either way, my parents are giving me the impression that she might not make it, given her age and the news from the doctor. They're struggling to make plans just in case she passes away but are unsure as to what to do.
I'd like to help them (especially since they're not very Internet savvy). If you've ever dealt with this situation before, can you please tell me how things are supposed to play out:
* Who makes medical decisions if she's incapacitated?
* If she doesn't have a will is it too late for her to make one?
* If she does have a will, do we need a lawyer to read it?
* What happens to her assets (savings, apartment, etc.) if she doesn't have a will or has a will and doesn't make any mention of these things?
* How much do caskets cost (just an average one)?
* How much is an entire funeral?
Lastly, I should mention that my Nana lives in New York City just in case you know of any business and/or person in particular who could help. And, per the AskReddit rules, please don't list anyone's personal info. You can always just send me a personal message. | My 89 Nana is in the hospital and may die soon and I need to know what I have to do in case this happens (her will, deciding who makes medical decisions in case she's incapacitated, cost of funeral, etc.). |
t3_s9xd1 | self | Tonight I return from my cigarette feeling a better person having returned a man's best friend and ruined a drunks saturday night. | Tonight whilst out having a cigarette during the adverts, a border collie wandered up to me, sat by my feet and waited to be let in. A border collie I don't own and have never seen before in my life.
When I tried to grab the coller and get a number to call he backed off a bit, he then took me on a 30 min walk around the neighbourhood constantly teasing me, letting me get close enough to get a finger on the coller before joyfully jogging a bit further away. It eventually ended up jogging back to my front door and again sitting and waiting to be let in.
I grabbed the chance, got the number off the coller and called the owner. A very interesting gentleman (scared the living shiiiiit out of me) turned up about 20 min later to pick his dog up. He lived on the other side of town and had been frantically searching for his dog since 8 this morning (found the dog about 20:00 this evening). No reward was offered but no reward was expected this was just me returning this mans best friend.
And to top it all off I then went to the shop to get more cigarettes, whilst in the que I saw a rather drunk lady proceed to put a bottle of wine down her trousers and attempt to stand up to walk out the shop. I leaned over to the guy behind the till and mentioned the young lady that had all of a sudden grown a monster cock down her right leg. He ran over to the door leading to the back of the shop and seconds later the manager came marching out asked the girl to lift her top and promptly kicked her ass to the kerb.
Most people probably couldn't care less but it made me feel good and I thought I should share. | Returned a lost dog and stopped a girl shop lifting wine from the local Co-op. |
t3_2d4jam | relationships | How do I know if I am.... 'that guy'? | So I (21 M) am chatting up a girl (23 F) I really like, and it seems like we are getting along pretty well. But, it occurred to me that I may be messaging/talking to her too much.
Little background on her; She is super shy, socially awkard, awesome and so on and so forth. So I have to be the one messaging/talking. I tried to arrange a date with her, but due to technology it seemed like I was pestering her (like 2 messages in a three day period)
So /r/relationships How do I proceed and not be a creeper? | Halp me not be a creep |
t3_2p8ng6 | legaladvice | [Pennsylvania] Requested copy of lease, leasing company has no record of me living in house | I live with three other people. I signed a myriad of paperwork, name changes/addendum, etc. to move in this past summer. The lease was for a year. After a few months of living and attempting compromise, I have come to realize I cannot live in this house anymore. Roommates have pets in the house (they are supposed to pay a fee, but lied to the leasing agency and kept them anyway) that urinate all over the place and refuse to clean it up, among other "petty", gross habits they have. Not only is the house a disgusting hole to live in, I am surprised if it is even up to code (bathrooms have no working ventilation systems, no windows), mold in bathrooms, etc.
I contacted the rental agency so I could get a copy of my lease to read over it and see if there was anyway I could get out of it. It was at this point that they let me know that they have absolutely no record of me living in the house, aside from a credit check they ran on me. Furthermore, they said that they never even received a lease renewal form for anyone else for this year. My roommate claims to have handed in the paperwork over the summer and this is the first time I am hearing anything of this.
My question is: what can I do in this situation? Apparently, I am not on the lease. I have no clue where the paperwork I signed to put my name on the lease or my copy of the lease is. My roommate said she turned it in (and they ran the credit check, so they must have had something), but the leasing agency still has the previous tenants on the lease. Can I use this to my advantage and move out after I find another place? If I did this, could someone come back to me asking for money? I just want to find out what my options are. | Looking to move out, find out current leasing agency has no record of me even living in my house. What can I do? |
t3_xri26 | AskReddit | Employed Redditors, what are some things you wish customers would realize or do that would make your job easier? | *Didn't see another thread like this that was recent. Hoping not to be wrong!*
I'm a lifeguard at a well-known water-park. We are all trained thoroughly and go to regular in-services (or we lose our jobs). I would trust my coworkers with my life. People do every day and don't even think to recognize how important what we're doing is, especially in a highly populated setting. Please trust me, and let me do my job.
I see a lot of parents breaking rules, encouraging their kids to, then when I call them on it they yell at the kid.
**Parents set bad examples for their children regularly.** They try to make them cut in lines, go down rides the wrong way (we say to go a certain way for a reason, guys). And I don't break my 10/20 when talking to anybody but when I don't look at an adult while responding to them, I've noticed them get angry at me while kids just take it as, "Guard's watching water." Younger kids also don't 'play dead' in the water as nearly as often as adults do, and yet I see countless parents get hostile for it. It's backasswards. The fact that adults make my job harder than the kids do is a bad joke. Parents, **the fact I *love* blowing my whistle and screaming doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage kids to behave properly.** Not saying this is all parents, but it's most of the general population I see daily. | Help me help you. Stop being a jackass. |
t3_129d1h | BreakUps | How cynical am I? | So, in my line of work (32/m) I have to deal with a lot of foreigners (I live in Latin America) and relationships with women spring up every now and then. Things appear to go well, and then they have to go back to their home country (the US, basically).
Thus far, I'm 0-3. Tragic thing is they give me the "Dear John" after I begin to organize things to go visit (as I can see how distance is an issue, I'm not that naïve). They have all quite, er, "graciously" told me I should go visit the US anyway, and that I could drop by and hang for a bit. Gotta say, visiting under those circumstances would feel rather melancholy, considering what the context would have been originally.
So, the best way I could sum it all up for a friend was: "Three gracious invitations by former love interests! One more and I get a free turkey sub!", just to get a chuckle at my own expense.
Am I being too cynical? | Former love interests invite me to visit their country, I have cynical reaction with friends. |
t3_z3wvr | tifu | TIFU by getting a "dilluted base" all over me, including my eye and mouth. | So in class today we were doing a lab with something I later found out was a "dilluted base". At one point of the lab we had to shake a beaker half full with it and see what happened. There were two different beakers we had to shake and they had rubber stoppers at the top. Me being me, I decided I should take them both at the same time... but I forgot to hold the stopper so it doesn't fly out. So all of a sudden I'm sitting there with that stuff all over me. My left eye was burning a bit and it tasted like crap. My teacher let me go to the bathroom and wash off and was really nice about it. He said it was mildly corrosive btw. | Dilluted bases tase like crap. |
t3_3fkq40 | tifu | TIFU by lying at work. | This happened weeks ago. So I work in a financial industry and the job there is pretty stressful. I usually work long hours because of the amount and volume of tasks I have to work with. Eventually I got tired of that shit and decided to resign my position. So while I was rendering my 1 month notice, I didn't give any fucks anymore about my work and started cheating on my tasks. We have this automated program wherein it tracks all our progress and tasks. One day, we were so loaded, I started to cheat and shortcut my way through the day and just set some of the non important tasks to complete and done in the program even though I didn't do it just to go home on time. I did this a few more times. I know this will bite me in the ass but I just didn't care anymore. The management was really shitty and the employees were not compensated fairly. Last week, my senior found out that some of the tasks were not done. They usually don't check the program to see who is supposed to do those tasks and just ask the team. But the amount of missed tasks were noticeable. He then checked the program and bam, the tasks that were not done was assigned to my name. They found out that I was cheating and lying about my work. Got a bunch of emails to explain and haven't replied yet. I really don't know what to say because what I did was stupid. I guess I'll just have to tell them the truth that I didn't do those tasks because the clients don't give a shit about them and it just wastes time of the team. Honestly, I don't know why the management continues to let us do those redundant non important tasks that have zero impact to the clients instead of the ones that really matter. | Lied and cheated about some of the tasks in my job and seniors found out. |
t3_11s6ez | relationships | GF [18] suddenly cold and distant [18m] | My girlfriend [18F] and I [18M] have been dating for about one year. Our relationship has been going great. However, over the last week she has been very distant and aloof from me. I asked her a few days ago if anything was wrong/bothering her. She replied that she was just really stressed and it wasn't anything I did. She said she's been feeling 'weird'. I told her I understood and that I'm here for her.
The thing is though, when I see her at school, there is very little communications between us. I have tried to talk to her and it was just too much effort that I have really stopped trying. With her friends however, it seems as if nothing has changed. She's never been like this in all of the time I've known her.
My plan is to now wait for her to contact me. I'm going to give her space and hopefully this will blow over. I am wondering if that is the right thing to do? Does this mean our relationship is headed downward? | [18M] GF [18F] of 1 yr suddenly very distant and aloof. Asked her if anything is wrong. She says it's just stress and I haven't done anything wrong. I am still hesitant to believe that because of how she acts with friends. What should I do? |
t3_e9bjk | AskReddit | Dear Reddit What is your best "ran out of gas in my car" story? | My story: My car was about to hit 100,000 miles and I along with my two passengers (my brother and a girl) were too excited to notice that we had almost no gas left. Then we hit about 8 straight miles of solid traffic, barely move for 45 minutes. Odometer hits 100,000 miles and everybody is excited.
Suddenly, the car turns off. I turn the key, it starts up goes a few feet, then turns off. Panic begins to set in. I've just run out of gas for the first time. It's pretty dark and the temperature is about 40°F. Nearest gas station is about 4 miles away. I have T-mobile which means no service, my brothers phone has no charge left, and the girl doesn't have a phone.
I tell them to wait here and lock the doors, I would go to the gas station and grab some gas. I start walking to the gas station and
about a mile in I'm freezing, cant feel my hands, face or legs. Suddenly, a car pulls up next to me with about four people in it and they ask if I need any help. I ask if they could give me a ride to the gas station nearby and they say sure.
Turns out that while the driver was somewhat sober the rest were piss drunk, and all had open containers of beer. Just as we pull in to the gas station the girl in the back just drops to the floor of the car spilling beer everywhere. Driver looks back and just says: "fuckin Jules." What I didn't notice was that the Jules had spilled beer all down the front of my pants in a perfect pissed pants pattern. The few minuted I had spent in the car did little to relieve the lack of feeling in my legs and I didn't even feel the beer hitting my legs.
I proceed to calmly exit the vehicle and thank them for the ride and thank Jules for her company. At which point I entered a fairly busy gas station, waited a few minutes in line and purchased a gallon of gas. All with a massive piss pattern on my pants.
Then I walked back 4 miles to my car in the cold. | got a ride from some drunk strangers, got beer on my pants in a pee formation, walked around a gas station with pee formation on pants, froze my ass off. |
t3_2bwwkc | relationships | I (21M) experienced my first break up recently with my GF (21F) and was hoping I could get some advice | I got my first serious GF about 5 months ago. We met about a year ago and hung out a lot, multiple times a week, but it started to fall off once school ended. We went from living on the same campus to being over an hour apart. We both started working full time and she also had to get ready for grad school by reading, studying, writing etc. It became difficult to see one another. We started off seeing each other once a week, then once every 2 weeks, then 3 weeks. I wanted to hang out more but she wasn't having it.
It eventually got to a point where she broke up with me. She gave me the "its not you, it's me." Said she felt like we didn't see each other often because we were busy but if she really liked me, she'd want to find the time for me. Because of that, she felt it wasn't meant to be and ended it.
This is the first time I've been broken up with so I've never felt this way in my entire life. I was hoping I could get some opinions. The break up is still fresh, about a week. Honestly, all I can think about these days is how to get her back. To me, it's the only option. Luckily we stayed friends and still talk so it's not like we ended on bad terms.
Should I wait a while before asking for a second chance or should I do it as soon as possible before she finds someone else/loses all her feelings? Or does this sound like a lost cause entirely and I should move on? Like I said, this is my first time dealing with heartbreak so this is all alien to me. I had no idea I even felt this seriously about her until she broke up with me. That's when I realized how much she meant to me. I have a lot of regrets and feel like it'd be entirely different the next time around, now that I know how I really feel. I'd put a lot more effort into it and let her know just how much she means to me. | Got broken up with by my first GF after getting the "its not you, its me." Didn't realize how much I liked her until the break up. All I can think about is getting her back. Should I wait to ask for a second chance, do it ASAP or not do it at all? |
t3_517y4g | relationships | Me [19 F] with my Boyfriend [23 M] 3 months, he wants me to stop being friends with his brother because his brother is in love with me? | My boyfriend Jesse and I have been together for around 3 months, I've known his [30 M] brother Steven for about a year with which we have become very close friends and have been through a lot. About the time I got together with my boyfriend, Steven started to say he had strong feelings for me and that he had been in love with me for a while.
This makes my boyfriend really angry and he doesn't handle his anger very well, he starts fights with his brother accuses him of things and degrades him. I don't know how I can convince my partner that Me and Steven are friends and just friends only. Steven tells me I should breakup with my jesse because he says he doesnt care about me and is only using me. I really have no idea where i should go from here because i really do not want either of them to fight but i also dont want to not be friends with someone just because my partner thinks its innapropriate if steven likes me more than friends.
I should also add that before me and jessie got together i used to hang out a lot with steven but back then i didnt have any feelings for jessie. Jessie didnt like me hanging out with steven back then and he used to be violent and break his things. i.e computer, headsets, and a big dent in stevens car and a lot of other things too. | How do I (19 F) convince my boyfriend (23 M) I am just friends with his brother (30 M) and nothing more? |
t3_1r53i3 | relationships | I [25/f] feel concerned about my [24/m] boyfriends involvement with his ex. | My partner and I have been together for a few months now. We're still going through the getting-to-know-you phase, and so far things are going pretty well.
He and I both have children from previous relationships, which means we both have to keep contact with our exes. The issue I'm having is that he seems to be very involved with his child's mother, as well as other exes he has. I'm not really concerned that he's doing something wrong, but it seems a little off. Last night he stayed up texting his ex because apparently she and her fiance had broken up. That really really bothered me, and I'm not sure if it was okay. I have an ex and we're friendly, but I don't feel like it would be appropriate to sit on the phone with him for a few hours. It almost feels disrespectful?..I'm not really a jealous person, but it made me feel awkward, especially because we were hanging out last night and he was on the phone the entire time, so I just went to bed.
I'm really uncertain about bringing this up. Should I? I know it's his ex and his child's mother, and it's been so long since they were together that they've worked through most of the anger towards one another, but I feel like he would be really upset if I had done that with my ex. How should I bring it up? Is this even a reasonable concern or should I just let it go? I think one of my main concerns is that she's reaching out to him in a way that seems inappropriate to me, and with him making himself available to her in that way makes me feel uneasy. | Boyfriend is still very involved with ex and it makes me feel uneasy. I'm unsure about how to bring it up, or if I even should. |
t3_v16by | relationships | My girlfriend has incredibly low self esteem. What can I do to help? | As the title says, my girlfriend has really low self esteem. At first I thought it was the same "oh I'm fat" kind of thing, but the longer we've been together, the more I realize it's a serious problem for her. Sometimes she can't help but cry because she feels so fat and ugly. I love her very much and try to remind her of that and the fact that she if beautiful to me, but I don't really know what else to do. I have suggested to maybe talking to a psychologist about it, but she thinks it will cost too much money and is hesitant to do it. Is there any advice you can give me to help relieve some of her pain? We are both in our early twenties and, although we have only been dating a few months, we have known each other for a few years. | My girlfriend has incredibly low self esteem and I'm looking for any advice on how to help her feel better about herself. |
t3_3apv6x | relationships | Me [18 M] having trouble with my Mum's [55 F] new boyfriend | So, in a nutshell, around a year ago my parents broke up. It was expected, and for the best. However, the way it ended really got me. My whole life I've built my Mum up, and she cheated on my father, and lied to me on several occasions about it, which left in me in shock for quite a while. I have trust issues, and she was one of the main people I trusted.
Fast forward to the present, we've healed and I forgave her a while back. The thing is, her BF is the person she cheated on my father with. I'm glad that she's happy, but I avoid spending time around him, I don't trust him because he knew what he was doing when he did it. And now that my old house is nearly sold, I'll have to live with them (Dad is going out of the county).
I just don't get how we're going to get along, especially if I don't get into Uni. | Don't get along with Mums BF (guy she had affair with), going to have to live with them, help |
t3_1d0j9u | relationships | I (26F) am jealous of my boyfriend's (28M) ex girlfriends' bodies and it's driving me crazy. | My boyfriend is an attractive guy. Needless to say, all his ex girlfriends and flings are flippin' gorgeous with amazing bodies. One of his ex girlfriends was actually a model for Sports Illustrated, so yeah. I am a fit girl and I am attractive, but I do not compare to these girls. For one thing, my boobs are much smaller. I can say, though, that my personality kicks all of their asses, so I've got that going for me. Haha :-/
I've never felt insecure in any of my relationships until now and it's driving me crazy. I haven't actually mentioned my insecurities to my boyfriend because I know how it will come across and I know that sort of thing can be super unattractive. I guess I'm just wondering if there is any way I can get over this or am I just doomed with these terrible thoughts forever? Does anybody have any tips n' tricks for me? | My insecurities are getting the best of me when I compare myself to my boyfriend's beautiful ex girlfriends/flings. |
t3_124m9a | AskReddit | reddit, how do I deal with my insane, elderly coworker? | So, she sits five feet from me.
I was moved into a shared space with her about a week ago. I knew from the get-go it was going to be hard... she is a complainer, hard for everyone on staff to deal with, and the like. We have a very close-knit group otherwise.
She likes to:
-talk to herself out loud, approximately an hour a day combined
-she clears her throat THREE TIMES A MINUTE. ALL DAY. ALL. DAY.
-she incessantly stops me to tell me about her lunch. In detail. Using phrases like 'just a really nice sandwich'. I want to be editing video and doing social, not pretending to care.
Before I paint the picture that I'm a monster, I am not. This is NOT a kindly old woman. This is the bingo hall type. She recently was bragging about how she was going to make a man cheat on his wife. She complains about everything (irony, I know, relax), and she, to customers and vendors, loves to talk about how everyone here 'treats her like a piece of shit and fuck them.' Legitimately just not a good person.
Yesterday, I was concentrating incredibly hard on a project, so I wasn't focusing all of my energy on not yelling at her. She interrupted my for the fourth or fifth time saying it was 'unacceptable' to have my computer on the floor beside my desk. I almost just told her to fuck herself. So close. I can't do that.
I know I sound like an entitled brat- but I have normal, although occasionally conflicting relationships with everyone here. We all work through it like normal coworkers. This woman is the anomaly. I want to stop coming to work.
Please reddit, tips. Please. | elderly coworker is both overwhelmingly irritating and a genuinely bad person. I will snap soon and hurt my career. What fucking do. |
t3_vw0r9 | AskReddit | My younger brother tells me a secret, and I'm not sure if what he is doing is really right. Should I leave him be, or help him out? (Story inside) | For starters, I'm 17, my younger brother is 16.
Lately my brother has been texting one of his school friends, we'll call her Girl X.
A couple nights ago, while I was up late on Reddit, I heard my brother say in his sleep, "No, never. I would let that happen, Girl X. I'll be there to make sure everything is.....*long pause* alright".
Since I was curious, that next morning I text him (since I wasn't sure if it was a personal matter or not) telling him what I heard. He told me about a secret that no one has heard about yet:
Girl X is thinking of taking LSD, and my brother is basically saying he'll be there to make sure she doesn't try to kill herself, or whatever.
My brother told me that he told her that "those drugs are scary", and yet he still wants to help her out?
I just don't know what to do. I'm more concerned for both their well-being. It just doesn't seem logical to me to say "Yeah, that's a bad idea, but I'll watch anyways!". I'm also concerned about them getting in trouble, but I don't want to be the tattle tail here!
I haven't told anyone about this yet, but I thought I would ask everyone here before I do anything more. | Younger brother says he'll be there for a friend who is thinking of taking LSD, but he still tries to tell her that "those drugs are scary". I don't know if I should worried, or just let him figure it out on his own and suffer the possible consequences. Opinions and such are appreciated! |
t3_2f56xm | relationships | Me [22 F] am having trouble making friends in my new school and would like some input | Hi everyone!
so not the usual /r/relationships post, but i was hoping some people here could give me advice on how i can make some new friends at my school.
so im living on campus, in a room with 2 other people. they're nice, but very anti-social and literally have no interest whatsoever in meeting other people. i consider myself to be fairly friendly but a bit shy; i have a large group of friends back home, but i don't really feel comfortable going around on my own trying to meet people. it seemed from the start that everyone around me already had their little groups, and i feel like i never really had the right opportunity to meet others and form my own.
there are school clubs, but they barely meet because of the rigorous school schedule, and theyre also kind of big and in a lecture hall setting so it's not really conducive to meeting people casually. i've joined 2 of them, but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere so far.
i've been feeling a bit isolated only hanging out with my roommates who aren't very similar to me. but i just don't know what to do in order to actually make other friends. i'm usually used to going with my roommates and walking down the hallways to introduce ourselves, but they have no interest and i feel weird doing it alone. plus, no one in our building seemed to have done that either, so i'd feel strange being the only one.
idk...any kind of helpful hints, pep talks, or advice would be appreciated. i dont want to spend the rest of my time here feeling like this and i just don't know what step to take to change it. | trouble making friends in new school. have roommates but they're anti-social and i feel weird trying to meet people by myself. there are a lot of friend groups already formed and im worried that i've missed my chance at joining/making one. would like some advice on what i can do to fix this all |
t3_2tptha | relationship_advice | Not sure what's up with me? | Alright so to preface this I'm 17 yr old guy. Senior in highschool. Pretty smart (though my grades don't reflect it) and relatively easy to get along with. I'm a little shorter than average but am still growing. As of now I'm 5"7. Realistically I probably look about 15/16. I have a chipped front tooth and due to financial situations haven't been able to get it fixed (here's to hoping soon). Anyway I have been trying to get with girls and stuff and to no avail. I want to think it's just due to my tooth but have no real way of knowing. As of the past 6-7 months I'm pretty much always pissed, the littlest things annoy me and I am extremely cynical. I've been somewhat depressed the past year or so just due to loneliness, I have friends but I'm not really good friends with any of them and girls reject me. I'm relatively confident as well. I don't know if my attitude is due to pent sexual frustration (not to make this nsfw but I get off probably about 3-4 times a day) or if its just my loneliness is really getting to me. Any advice or criticism is welcome. | I suck plz halp |
t3_lgg4e | relationships | How do I get over my GF's number? | Some background information, I'[m] 21 and she is 22. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and about a month ago we started an LDR (both got different jobs out of college, she left I had to stay) where we will not be able to see each other until Jan. She has been my only partner, where as she has had 6 others, I know this number is not allot but to me it is still quite a few.
I love her very much and whenever I'm around her I want to spend my as much time as I can with her. But whenever we are apart I cant get over that I am number 7. I know that there are times when she looks back fondly on sex with other people and that hurts, I know this may be immature but it is how I feel, I've spent a long time trying to get over it and she is fairly dismissive (it's the past, I cant change it, get over it) the one or two times I briefly brought it up. Even some times when we are together or intament it briefly hits me, I am not special she has had this before I'm just the next / last in a line. I also know a few of her ex-partners and have a very vivid and sometimes uncontrolled imagination, this also is not fun a contribution to the issues.
This feeling really hurts allot, and I'm worried our relationship cannot survive my insecurity's with such a distance between us. The problem is I don't see myself with anyone else she is almost perfect, but I don't wanna wind up resenting her. There are times when I almost wanna take a break, sleep with a few other people just so I get the fuck over it. But I also know it would have to be a one sided thing, I couldn't get back with her if I knew there was someone else, again immature but this is just how I feel, and it would not be fair or even feel alright for me to make it unidirectional. | My girlfriend has had multiple partners in the past where as I was a virgin and it could threaten our LDR. How do I get over this. |
t3_2ivuwt | relationships | Girl (25,F) texts me after finding out I (25,M) have a new girlfriend (23,f) | I (25,M) was almost in a relationship with a girl (25,F) who told me she "wasn't ready to commit" because she had only been single for a few months after getting out of a 3 year relationship. Her and I texted and hung out over the course of 3 months.
So I moved on and started dating a new girl (23,F). The old girl sees us on social media and texts me one morning telling me she was happy for me, and that she wanted to let me know she wasn't upset, even though it happened quickly in her opinion.
Should I take these texts at face value? Why would you text someone to let them know you're not upset about something? | Old girl texts me out of the blue to tell me she isn't upset about my new girl. |
t3_4gfgde | self | Is it a normal thing to be 24 and scared as f*** for the future / to turn 25? | I recently turned 24, and it's just starting to hit me that this is the end of my younger years. 25 seems like such a big jump. It's like the "official" start of adulthood.
I feel like I'm nowhere near as far along as I thought I would be when I was younger. Even though I live on my own in a new city with my gf (who is 2.5 years younger than me), have 2 jobs (both part time, but im working on getting full time at one of them), I just feel like I should've been doing this years ago. I dont have a career, I'm not ready for marriage, I don't have a car, etc etc.
I feel like I cant see my future. Time is moving by faster than it ever has, and I feel like there's nothing I can do to stop it / change anything.
I feel so alone. My one job is at an office so there I only work with older people, and my other job is retail so there I only work younger people. Its either my co workers can't relate to me, or I can't relate to my coworkers. It feels like going through puberty all over again. Literally, where are all the mid 20 year olds??
To my fellow 24/25 year olds, do you find yourself feeling the same as me??
To everyone who has been through 24/25, did you feel the same as me? Is there light at the end of this? Does everything finally come (at least somewhat) together? | I'm currently 24, and 100% scared to turn 25. I feel like I'm nowhere as far along as I thought I would be. |
t3_t42bi | AskReddit | American politics, why do they still get support? | I'm from New Zealand so I can't really say I know much about your political system but from what I've seen, people that don't have any previous experience in politics are able to just run for president in America. They seem to make their own rules and policies based on their own personal beliefs and opinions rather than listening to the people they represent and still get support for some reason.
I have two questions:
1: Why don't the people that complain about the candidates running for president actually run for president themselves? If the person did their research and knew about politics and how the systems worked, wouldn't they get support just because they genuinely wanted to help the people of the country?
2: Why are the current candidates still getting support when they focus so heavily on their own opinions to make decisions? Whenever I see a post of a news article about the upcoming elections half the time its saying something stupid like "Rick Santorum wants to ban blowjobs because he thinks its bad" (I know this is an extreme case but the others do it on smaller scales too). Shouldn't they be listening to what people want and then comparing that request to why they can't have it, if the law can be changed because it's outdated/unneeded then why don't they? | 1: Why don't the people that complain about the candidates running for president actually run for president themselves? |
t3_4rl4g1 | relationships | Girlfriends new found 'noisy' eating habits pushing me to my limits. | So my girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for a little over a year and all has been relatively well. There's been small hiccups along the way but nothing major. She recently moved into a new apartment and I basically live with her since I spend every night and the majority of my days there.
I am a very quiet guy and tend to take great care in keeping the noise I create to a minimum. This isn't just because I'm a quiet person but a habit out of my upbringing. I was always told to chew with your mouth closed, don't scrape the fork with your teeth, don't slurp, pick up your feet and don't stomp when you walk etc. My biggest pet peeve is people who chew loudly/ chew with their mouth open. I've tried trying to ignore when people do this but it just drives me insane.
My girlfriend was very similar to me in her old apartment. Quiet, well mannered, and very polite. Since moving into the new place she has developed several habits that irritate me to the point of wanting to end our relationship. She has started chewing with her mouth open, scraping her teeth on forks, drinking excessively loud especially when she swallows among a few other things. I've pointed this out because their the biggest issues for me.
I've attempted to bring this up to her in a way that I figured that I wouldn't come off as rude but it just ends up with her getting mad at her saying I'm 'too critical of her.' She's correct to a degree but these habits never used to exist at all (I wouldn't have dated her this long if they were) and I feel like I'm not being too needy wanting her to try and correct this bad habits.
Is there anyway that I could persuade her to try and correct these nuances without her flipping on me everytime? | Girlfriend developed irritating eating habits after moving and flips out every time I bring it up, considering ending relationship because of it. How to fix? |
t3_2in2ud | relationships | Me [19M] with my GF [22F] of 1 year, very bad temper. Helpful advice needed | Apologize in advance for grammatical errors and spelling.
We met online, friends at first and then eventually started dating. Both of us are caring and loving to each other BUT theres just one thing that is really pushing us apart and it's ME, my temper.
As far as I can remember I have always been like this.. just the mood, temper and stubborness.
This wasn't an issue when we were just friends, it started and always starts when we become closer to each other.. I mean shouldn't it be the opposite?
Anyways it sometimes just requires one small thing to make me irritated and annoyed and I can't seem to drop it, then we argue and she starts to cry and we make up but i'm still thinking about it until something distracts me.
My sex drive is incredibly low, i'm always tired and I don't have the energy to anything.
I feel dead inside, i'm either sad or angry, there's no in between. I don't even know if i'm happy, I don't get excited when good things happen to me I just shrug it off.
I'm scared that i'm making this relationship toxic. I wan't to change. | Constant mood swings and bad temper resulting upset GF and I just want to change. |
t3_3u33wo | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] for six years - cant break up with him! | I have been with my boyfriend for six years, so we obviously know each other pretty well. I know his good and bad habits, and he knows mine. We also know that we dont get along at all. We have different views, and because we are from different cultures, we have different ways of doing almost everything. So, we have fallen into this vicious cycle:
-He does something awful (happens alot - he is a terrible person to be in a relationship with)
-I tell him that it is not an okay thing to do
-He promises not do do it again
-Does it again, but worse within a few days (i swear he does it on purpose)
-Big fight
-I try to leave (happens fairly often, as I dont want to be in a relationship with him at all)
-He freaks out and doesnt let me leave (begging, yelling, screaming, crying, trying to guilt me)
-Since I have anxiety, I end up staying with him just to pacify the chaos.
This happense probably once or twice a week. How normal is this? How do I leave him? Is it something I'm doing? I am so unhappy and I need a way out!! | How do I leave a controlling boyfriend?! |
t3_251xcp | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [27M] 2 years, broke up and he wants to get back together | My bf and I have been together a little over 2 years and have been friends for about 5 or 6. He's a great guy and we have a lot of common interests but he is horrible with money and the thought of a future with him is just such a turn off because of it.
I don't want to sound shallow, I don't need someone who makes a lot of money/rich but someone who can support themselves financially, pay their bills on time, not over draft their account every other day would be nice.
I pay my bills each month and am financially independent. He can't even get a credit card due to credit ratings.
I ended it about 3 weeks ago stating that i just don't see a future and I was really broken hearted about it. I have never been so upset about a relationship ending and I was the one that did it. I have been ok since then, keeping myself busy and not thinking about it much.
A few days ago he called and said he missed me and wanted me to take him back. I do miss him but I just can't see a future and I'm skeptical about him being able to get it together. Thoughts? | should I get back with my bf who i care about but have concerns about the future with due to lack of financial responsibility? |
t3_1uqan7 | relationships | Just got out of the friendzone-not in the good way | So me(24m) and this girl(23f) was best friends(5 years. I truly and utterly loved her) and after a while and a few things that I thought was subtle hints to say it's time. I decided to tell her how I felt. This did not give me the response I was hoping for at all! She instead said she didn't have it in her. After a long discussion without any real answer I told her I understood and told her I would try and put all those feelings away but with that gate and drawbridge finally down I could not let it go. There was even one night that we were holding each other and cuddling till the sun came up. Finally tonight we talked again about it and it was decided that it's doing me too much damage emotionally to be in this friendship with the feelings I have and the absence of hers. So we won't be contacting each other for an indefinite time. I'm a bit heart broken but it has been a very bumpy road so some anticipation had weakened the blow. I should add I feel fairly satisfied atm despite the pain.Any advice? Any stories? | confessed, feeling was not mutually, trying to move on |
t3_mc9nc | AskReddit | How do I get the third party for a threesome? | Well, the other night me and my girlfriend were at a party and she ended up making out with a long time friend of hers. Let's call her friend Sara, and let's call my girlfriend Tiffany not their real names but it'll do. Anyway, Tiffany came up to me and told me about what happened kinda feeling bad I guess. She was wondering if I'd be mad. I was not, not at all. My first reaction was, "Where is she?!? Where was I?" Anyway, later throughout the night I guess my girlfriend decided she wanted to experiment with a girl, and asked me, "So... Does this mean you're down for a threesome?" I was astounded to say the least. After I confirmed she was serious, she said I had to find the girl. Now that you know my story... HELP ME GET TWO CHICKS IN BED WITH ME REDDIT! | My girlfriend thinks women are nice, and very gentle when it comes to making out with them. She now wants a threesome. |
t3_4z3a23 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my GF [23 F]: Just hugged a guy she slept with...I hated it. | I was hanging out with my gf and her friends which included a guy she slept with once a couple years ago in college. I knew about it but didn't want to meet him, but decided to do so because I didn't want to be a baby about the situation. Shook his hand when I met him, didn't talk to him much during the hang out. Before he was about to leave I went for another handshake, but he gave me a hug instead and I feel ill just thinking about it. I didn't want to meet him in the first place and I ended up hugging him. I feel so angry/sick/uncertain of whether or not I should feel anything. | Hugged girlfriends ex-sexual partner. It hurt. |
t3_361sla | tifu | TIFU by teaching my Taiwanese boss new words... | Background:
I work in an office and my desk is to the side of my bosses desk. As an English guy, my Boss will ask me about certain English words or phrases, and how to politely address people on the phone, etc.
He's usually pretty good, but he said he wanted to say something different, which is politer.
Being the dumb-fuck that I am, I taught him "Wagwan" and "Batty Boy" - I told him this meant, "Hi, how are you, my good sir". I said this was only to be used to men, otherwise it wouldn't make sense, just to make it more believable.
So, we go about our day, calls come in, go out, etc.
Until my boss picks up the phone and calls one of our biggest corporate customers (BCC from now on) and shouts "Wagwan, Batty Boy!?" because he thinks, this is very polite.
I should probably mention, our contact at BCC is about 70, and very religious. He wasn't impressed and soon after, BCC sent an email to us suggesting we have more respect or they will leave us and go elsewhere.
Boss wasn't happy. | Got my boss to call a 70 year old extremely religious man a batty boy and nearly lost a large customer. |
t3_3td5pg | relationships | I [22 M] don't want to hang out with my acquaintance [26? M] | I have known this guy, Thomas, for about a year. He is the same major as me and several of my close friend group, and was introduced to us by another friend in an academic setting (working on homework together, etc). Since then, we've invited him to a lot of our gatherings and parties, but he hasn't really "clicked" socially or made friends with any of the members of our social circle. Thomas has always been socially awkward, but he's nice, polite, and shares a lot of interests with us.
The issue at this point is that, at a party yesterday, Thomas was drunk and said some things that made some people, including my girlfriend, uncomfortable. He was making strange, non-sequitur comments and sometimes not making sense, as well as talking to people about his sexuality, which was not appropriate conversation for the setting. Additionally, he now has my phone number for the first time. This has led to him reaching out to me and my roommate to spend time with him, which we would rather not do. He's a nice enough guy, but we're still uneasy over the way he was acting at the party. Some of his texts have been pushy, stating that he's being intentionally excluded or implying that I need to inform him the next time I plan something.
It may seem like a dick move, but I really just don't want to spend time with Thomas. I don't think he has many other friends, but I don't think that makes me obligated to help him join our social circle. What can I do to distance myself without hurting his feelings too much? Also, he has texted my roommate, but with less frequency. He feels the same way about the situation, and I'm worried Thomas will turn to him if I reject him.
What do you think, Reddit? Am I being too harsh? My time is pretty valuable at this point in my life, and I have lots of other ways I would rather spend it. | Guy has been on the outskirts of my social circle for a while and has now chosen to try to insert himself via me. How do I kindly distance myself from him? |
t3_25xrid | relationships | Should I [31F] continue to just be supportive and patient for my love in boyfriend [22M]? | My boyfriend [22M] and I [31F] have been together 10 months this last weekend. Here is my problem... When he moved in with me he continued working at his job 45 minutes away. This was suppose to be until he found something closer. Mind you, he doesn't have his license, so he takes the bus to work every day and I have to pick him up. It's been about a month and a half since he started his new job closer to us.
I've been letting him leave his other job on his own terms because I know he's worried about leaving. But it's like he's never going to. Kind of like wroth his license. I had to beg and plead for him to get his permit, and he did, but now seems as though he doesn't really want his license.
I work full time and have a 7 & 9 year old 3/4 of the time. On top of work, kids homework, sports and driving, I get almost no downtown and have to stay up to get him from work, so not a lot of sleep either.
I know he tries. He works when he has to, helps with the kids etc and he loves me! Just wondering what your thoughts are. I don't want to attack him and give him an ultimatum, but my 'understanding'is starting to wear thin! | Boyfriend without license won't step up and quit second job that is 45 minutes away. |
t3_3ivnt8 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [23 F] of one year, are now living a few hundred miles away. Redditors who have been in long distance relationships, how did you make it work? Or why did it fail? | I am very recently involved in a long distance relationship. My SO moved away about a month ago and we have been together about a year. We are very much dedicated to one another and have strong feelings about each other. We lived together before she moved away and we even survived that without a hitch. This is extremely tough on me as I am now lonely. I went from having her every day to not seeing here for a month. I want to believe we can make it work...but there is no light at the end of the tunnel. | SO of a year moved away and I am worried this long distance thing will not work. I need to hear some stories/advice. |
t3_3cwg1u | relationships | How do I [21/F] get over my long distance (ex) boyfriend [21/M] when I'm still in love with him? | We've been together 1 year and 4 months. We met in Denmark where he did an internship and stayed for only three months before moving back to the Netherlands. We've had a ldr ever since.
He is my first love and I haven't opened up to anyone besides him. I've always had anger issues, but he makes me feel better. He gets me in a way no one else does.
He says he's too young for this kinda commitment, but he still loves me and wants to stay friends.
Problem is I've never been happier so the break up came as a huge surprise and now I don't know how to move on. | how do I get over my ex when he's the only one who truly gets me? |
t3_15zlzg | relationships | Should I contact her or not? | [M20] Over the break I got with an old friend when we were out drinking [F22] who told me she was recently single. Jump ahead to the next morning she informs me she isn't actually single [boyfriend 24 of 3.5 years] and that 'nothing happened ok?'. She texted me that night saying it was nice to meet up and that she had a great night.
I felt like shit for the first few days wondering what I should do and I just saw on Facebook that they've moved in together. How do I stop feeling guilty and how do I stop thinking about her? | Girl cheated on her bf with me. I feel guilty and don't know what to do to forgot her. |
t3_2icoxm | relationships | Last night I [28/M] had a one night stand with a [28/F] and now feel bad about it. | I met this girl from Tinder a few days ago and we decided to meet up. We're both of the same background (Hindu), however she is much more successful than I am. She already has her stuff together whereas I'm still a 3rd year medical student. She's already done with her residency.
I feel bad about the one night stand, because I lied to her about what I do. I told her that I'm already a 4th year resident so I could have a chance with this girl. I lied because most of the Indian girls I meet on Tinder immediately get turned off when I tell them I'm still a student.
For being 28 and not having your sh!t together for an Indian, is pretty bad. Yes, yes, I know that I'm working towards something, and I shouldn't let it bother me - but it does. I'm honest about it when I meet girls of other races, because they don't care. However with brown girls, it's really unfortunate that I have to lie to get laid.
This girl was just amazing. Really pretty, smart, and an amazing body. I would like to meet up with her again even if we don't have sex. | Met girl off Tinder. Had to exaggerate my level of education/training in medicine to get laid. Feel bad about that I had to lie. Wish I had my sh!t together. |
t3_2j23pm | relationships | (24m)Went on 2 dates wondering if this is how it normally ends after such a short time? | Little background- I've been in 1 relationship. It lasted 4.5 years and it ended a few months ago after we moved across the country together. She met someone at her job after she transferred and didn't bother saying anything to me about it until she moved out. So after I got over it I started online dating.
After a couple first dates with people I met online, I went out with one girl who I wanted to see again. The day of our second date she let me know she would be running an hour late. I said that would be fine, and showed up an hour late to pick her up. I rang the doorbell a couple times and waited outside almost 15 minutes before I started to leave. Then her roommate walked outside, asked who I was, let me in, and pointed out my date's room. I noticed the door was open when I walked up and she was asleep on the bed. I made a loud noise and she jumped up, seemed really worried, sat me on the couch, turned on the tv, got ready, and we left. She said she was sorry and couldn't believe how patient I was. I thought we had another great date and we stayed out all night.
I asked her out for the next weekend and she said she had to check her work schedule. I followed up and she never answered. Followed up again later for a 2nd date and still no response. I don't want to annoy her, and I don't know anything about her personality as far as actually wanting to be texted because you are forgetful, or finding it annoying and just ignoring it hoping it goes away.
She called me babe, liked to touch my arms a lot, and made out with me at the end of both nights, i feel like those were good signs but whats with 0 communication for weeks after that if that is the case? | Went out with a girl, thought it was good, then get stonewalled, whats up with that? |
t3_3bwyy3 | personalfinance | Trying to fix predatory trading by a Financial Advisor | My parents have been allowing an investment "adviser" from Wells Fargo to handle their retirement accounts. I have recently looked into their accounts, and have been horrified by what the adviser had been doing. He was placing them in extremely high fee Class C load funds and frequently buying and selling new ones. These funds have 2.00% expense ratios, 1% yearly fund fees, and a 1% back end load. Also, there are fees for doing basically anything in the account. The funds are both low yield, but still high risk.
At what point does this activity become illegal? It has prevented nearly any returns over the last five years despite the amazing market growth we have had in recent years. Is there anything I can do now about the situation? Clearly the financial adviser was not acting in their own interests at all. | Financial adviser provided terrible self-serving advice, and prevented almost all retirement fund growth. |
t3_1zzo71 | relationships | I'm (27m) and a bit too jealous of my girlfriend (28) without reason. | Hey! Never thought I'd post here, but I feel like I need some advice.
It's been a long time since my last relationship, which left me quite hurt and very un-trusting of women. My last girlfriend made quite the effort manipulating me in to become this jealous guy I never really was, but sadly became. So, for the last 8 years casual fuck buddies and one night stands has been the only relation I've had with women. Friendships has always ended in either of the above, I never really let anyone get close.
Last summer this girl comes along - an old one night stand from a couple of years back by the way - and we get along great. She's smart, great conversation, all that!
She doesn't have very many friends and so I encourage her to hang out with the ones she's got.
Back to the problem: I have no reason to mistrust her, she's devoted, thoughtful and pretty awesome!
The main problem lies in that I don't know what she's up to (and I don't really want to, either) when she hangs out with friends, guys mainly. I have this thought that pops up in my head, that her girlfriends might ease her in to situations where she might end up with someone else for the night...
She also parties quite hard and often until midday next day when I'm not with her, this also puts thoughts into my head..
The problem lies with me and my thoughts are irrational since there's no real basis, but I can't rid of them.
I don't really want to talk to her about this, since it's not her fault.. I guess what I'm looking for here is some reassurance and help to change my thought process?
Wow, a bit long.. Thanks for reading if you made it here! | irrationally jealous, without reason, problem probably lies in past relationship, advice? |
t3_1om464 | relationships | 22 M...working on getting over ex 21 F | I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post. Let me know and I can repost somewhere else.
I'm a male, 22 years of age in grad school. This past summer while I was at an internship 6 hours away, my gf of 2.5 years broke up with me. That was 4.5 months ago. I don't feel I'm over her one bit and while at school we are 150 miles apart. An obvious problem is that we still follow eachother on social media outlets....I know I need to stop that.
We spent all but 8 months of our relationship in a long-distance one. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I'm sad and am missing the past. The future doesn't look hopeful, but I know it will go on. This sucks because by all other aspects I know I have my future made, career and financially-wise. I've never done this before, really, so some help on if this is normal would be great. It's hard to take male-friends advice cause most say I should just hook up with a girl when I don't want to and I don't have any close female friends.
Mainly all I can do is think of how we both could have done things different. Talk about a horrible thing to do. Painful!
Thanks for listening. | The time it takes to get over someone varies by person...but any opinions on how long it *may* take someone coming from a 2.5 year relationship? |
t3_35k3l0 | relationships | Me [26/F] with man I met [32/M] and went on first date with. How to overcome insecurity about height and size. | Hey Reddit,
Two weeks ago I (26/f) met a guy (32/M) at a party. It was a really large party. At some point, we struck up conversation and I really enjoyed talking with him and could feel a certain bit of chemistry between us. He asked for my number and I gave it to him and we ended up texting. Eventually he asked me on a date.
Here's the deal. At the party, I was wearing extremely flat ballet flats. I'm a 5'7 female who has never been petite. I'm fit and wear between a size 2 to 6 depending on the store, but I'm just not petite and never will be. Growing up, I was always slouching because I felt like a giantess. I know it's ridiculously stupid but I suppose I always felt that petiteness and femininity are intertwined and that somehow my height and bone structure made me less womanly.
So, guy and I meet for our first date and I realize that he is my height, if not a little shorter. He's also of a more petite bone structure. My old insecurities reared their head and once again I felt like a giantess. I really like him so far and would not want to let my insecurities get in the way of anything. I just want to know what people think. Particularly men. Do you somehow feel emasculated if the woman you are with is taller or not super delicate? How would you feel if she wore heels (I love wearing high heels for some strange reason)? How do I overcome this insecurity? Should I somehow bring it up ever or just proceed like it doesn't matter? | Me (26F) met and then went on first date with guy (32 M). |
t3_52iinv | relationships | My best friend's [18 M] brother [15 M] asked me [19 F] to not tell him something, but now I'm stuck | I'm closer to my best friend and his family than I am with anyone else, except my own family.
His younger brother shared with me an experience he's had- a somewhat concerning one. He told me that one of his friends had been "very touchy-feely" and it had made him uncomfortable. He said he had come to me because I had had experience coping with nonconsensual acts (which I have, but that's a much longer story).
He asked me not to tell his brother, and that he didn't want him to know, and that he asked me for advice because I understood what he was going through. I agreed to not tell anyone and put it to rest.
Later in the evening, my best friend texted me, "What did my brother tell you?" At the same time, the brother texted me saying, "Don't tell [best friend] what I told you." I told him I wouldn't, and I told my best friend no.
My best friend got very upset with me, telling me that I was always in everyone else's business and that he didn't understand why I couldn't tell him. When I told him it wasn't my place, he told me it wasn't fair that I was picking his brother over him, and wouldn't I want to know if my brother [15] had told him something and asked him not to tell me.
Obviously, he was upset. He's currently ignoring me, actually.
I'm just trying to make sure I'm doing the right thing. The age difference is enough that he's not like my best friend, he's just like my kid brother. But he came to me in confidence, and so morally I feel torn between my best friend being concerned for his brother and his brother needing privacy and support. | My best friend's [18 M] younger brother [15 M] told me [19 F] about an issue and asked me not to tell my best friend. My best friend is mad because I won't tell him, and says I am choosing his brother over him. Am I doing the right thing by not telling my best friend, even if he's concerned for his brother? |
t3_1fq3kn | loseit | I'm on medication that completely kills my appetite. Should I be worried? M/25/6'4"/372-~325 | I am currently down about 45-50 pounds through diet and exercise in about 4-5 months. I cut out most carbs and processed foods (keto-ish. HFLC I guess is more accurate, 20-50g carbs daily), and I now walk about 3-5 miles a day as well as doing some light strength training 2-3 days a week.
So far I'm happy with my progress, but I recently got back on Adderall XR for my ADHD and it makes me want to not eat....ever. I can tell when I'm hungry but I just have no desire to actually consume food. I do force myself to eat daily, but I think most days I eat 1200 calories or less.
I started at 372ish and am now in the 320's, so it's still working, but is it okay to eat so little? I don't know the exact numbers, but I think even for weight loss, I could technically eat 2000 or even more a day if I stay active. It literally makes me sick to eat any more than I already do, though
.
I guess the real question is, given the amount of excess weight I have, is it okay for me to create deficits of this size, or should I try to find some way to boost my caloric intake?
I mentioned this to my psychiatrist when adjusting my medication and she basically said, try your best to eat more, but it's not of any real concern until you start wasting away and we don't need to worry about that anytime soon. I really need to be on the medication to function the way I'd like to, so stopping it isn't a viable option at the moment for me. | I'm fat but I don't want to eat very much. At what point does this become unhealthy and/or hinder my progress? |
t3_17dl7r | relationship_advice | My boyfriend looks for validation from other women. | Boyfriend 19, Me f (19) Been together for 5 years.
I found a post by my boyfriend asking why women don't respond to his attempts at eye contact/glances ext..He doesn't know why more women don't check him out because he says he's attractive and well put together. He says it would be nice if hot girls would give him more attention, and when he tries to initiate something they don't respond. He says rarely a girl will eye fuck him.
This is pretty hard to read as his girlfriend. Knowing that he's trying to initiate something between him and another women that he finds attractive. He's seeking his confidence through other people. I don't really know what to think. I don't want to talk to him about it because I wasn't supposed to even see this post which was wrong of me. But I don't want to be thinking about all the women he's trying to get attention from/ stare at..
Any advice would be appreciated. We've never had any infidelity in our relationship. I don't have any reasons not to trust him that I know of. | found a post from my boyfriend asking why more women dont respond to his eye contact/ check outs ext..don't know how to feel about it. |
t3_2t99vs | relationships | Me [22 F] dated my ex [22 M] for over 3 years and now I can't stop lurking his Twitter | I dated this guy from high school for over three years and we broke up over the summer. He treated my terribly, we didn't get along or agree on anything, and so I finally left. We were each others' first loves. He tried to get me back as recently as a month ago, but I just wasn't having it and always told him no or ignored him. I have since blocked him on every social media site and he does not have my phone number. All in all, I thought I was completely over him, even having a brief fling with someone else in the interim.
Recently, I found out that he supposedly has a new girlfriend (even after just last month messaging me to say that I am his soulmate and to give him another chance, writing me a poem, etc). I thought it didn't bother me, and I still claim it doesn't, but after investigating and finding him on Twitter, I can't stop checking his page to see what he is writing about and what he is saying to her. A lot of his tweet are about losing your love and really lame stuff, so I can tell he is not over me and, to be honest, I feel a little bit of joy when I see those. I'm kind of confused about why I feel that was since there is no way I would ever want anything to do with him again.
The tweets of the alleged girlfriend are private and I keep trying to conjure ways of getting into her profile. I'm dying to see what they are talking about when he replies to her as I can only see his side of the convo. Creeping them (or trying to) has become almost an obsession. And I still claim I don't care.
Reddit, what do I do in this situation? I just want to stop thinking about anything to do with him, but I'm dying to know all about this new "relationship" that's going on. | Broke up with boyfriend, thought I was over it, but now can't stop lurking his Twitter page. |
t3_54s3bw | relationships | I [24F] feel like Prof [early 40s] is acting a little strange. | Hello! Throwawayyy because my friends know my main account.
So I'm in my second year of grad school, and something's been bugging me for awhile now. There's a Prof (let's call him Prof X) whom I do not work directly with, but I have attended a few of his classes and gone to him for advice on supervisor troubles (he's the division head), and he has been acting strangely...in a very possessive (??) manner. I'm not sure if I'm overthinking things, looking for some perspective here.
1. Once there was a gathering of faculty members from my home university and my current university, like a kind of networking session. I saw a couple of Profs whom I was on very good terms with during my undergraduate years, and got really excited to mingle with them. I admit I spent a large portion of my time talking animatedly to a male Prof (he is an awesome teacher and researcher, and I had previously spoke highly of him to Prof X). Prof X later told me that what I did was hideously inappropriate, will invite gossip, and that I had to spend more time building bonds with my current faculty members rather than blatantly fraternize with others. He was legit upset about it, and it made me feel rather bad and confused.
2. I attend a mixed class with some of my undergraduate friends who are RAs in my lab. I sometimes use break time to talk briefly about their RA duties, and last week a group of male undegrads asked me about RA vacancies, and jokingly made passes at me. I just dismissed their jokes and we quickly switched into serious mode to discuss the expectations of joining a lab. Prof X heard and he was in a foul mood for the rest of the week, ignoring my emails for approval on administrative matters and being generally very pissy towards me. He later told me that I could not handle the undergrads well enough, had no authority over them, and ought to reflect on my methods of supervision. It came out of nowhere, so I asked if he was referring to that incident during class, and he just got upset and repeated that I should handle myself better.
Am I overthinking things? | Prof is acting strangely. Not sure if it's just in my head. |
t3_xyser | relationships | Another Update and new dilemma; fiance addicted to pain pills | Here is my first [post] and [1st] and [2nd] updates.
My fiance (25) and I (30) have been together bout four and a half years, she has just completed her second month of rehab and is currently debating doing one more month before returning home. We have had limited contact, a few phone calls a week, and some counseling sessions via Skype. I feel like I have been very supportive of her situation and I don't know how much more I can take. During our last counseling session she brought up that she had to be honest about everything in order to leave it in the past and move forward into a better life. She admitted that she cheated on me more than once while she was dealing with this addiction. She claims that she did these things for more pills and it meant nothing to her. I was shocked to hear this and even more upset because we had been having little to no sex during this time due to her saying she was always in pain. She says she will understand if I need time to come to terms with the awful things she did and doesn't know if she should come directly back to our house if I am going to be mad and put her in a potentially stressful situation. I don't know what to do. The last two months have been rough and the only way I have gotten through them is knowing that she would be returning soon, and was getting back to her old self. I still feel like I want to be with her but I am hurt by what she did and my friends are telling me to cut my losses and move on, that she's wasted enough of my time already. Any advice would be appreciated. | fiance is almost finished with rehab, things I have found out are making me question staying with her |
t3_2ltuk2 | relationships | Not sure if this should go here, but I'm having a slight issue with a coworker | So I(22f) just started a job, and immediately when I started I could feel one of the hirer ups(m25) eyes on me. Needless to say he is now one of my direct boss'. I'm just about to round off the first year of my very happy marriage, and I overheard this particular boss and other coworkers saying that i probably "like" him. (I think though this might be my fault since I'm new they don't know me. But i love cooking, so for boss day i baked him and the other bosses cookies, since he always texts me i asked what he liked since it was convenient.) Now ppl thinking i like someone doesn't bother me because I don't find him attractive. I'm worried how this will effect the professionalism at work. He's a cool boss, I love joking with him but am in no way attracted to him. He's also recently began "poking" me. Like right above my hip, on my side whenever he's walking by me. And he texts me a considerable amount, now texts haven't gotten out of hand but they mostly amount to him being concerned about me. Like why I look upset, which apparently is all the time for some reason. I just would like to make sure this office gossip doesn't effect me professionally. Issues of this nature have gotten out of hand in the past for me. So anyone have advice on how to ensure this? I don't want to confront anyone, they all know I'm married etc | how do I keep it professional at work? |
t3_yewhr | relationship_advice | Boyfriendish (23M) keeps talking about moving away.. Feeling hurt. | My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for two years now, but recently decided to take things slowly so I can work on my independence and depression. However, he keeps talking about how after next year he's going to move to Australia and how amazing the sun is going to be etc etc..
I don't know what to do, because we're not really official anymore and can't talk about our future because it all relies on whether I can sort my shit out. I love him so much and can definitely see myself married to him, but we're working through some rough times and I don't know what to say when he talks about it. I know I'm rambling, but I don't want to lose him..
I feel so awkward cos we're taking things slowly so we can't really talk about our future together.. | Boyfriend" (quotations marks 'cos we're taking things slow so I can work on myself) keeps talking about how he's going to move overseas and never mentions me coming or asks what I'm going to do etc.. I feel sad and want to be with him so badly, but I feel left out and worried. He told me he can still see us together in ten years but doesn't mention me coming to Australia with him at all. What do? |
t3_25x7ic | relationships | My (18M) girlfriend's (15F) parents are restricting our relationship | My girlfriend and I (dating for 2 1/2 months) have been trying to spend time outside of school together but her parents refuse to let her. Her mom knows we are together but her dad only knows I exist. Her dad is super protective of her and if he even hears my name, she's not allowed to go out. Her mom is somewhat OK with us hanging out only if it's in a group (which has still never happened). Alone is a big NO.
Today her mom told her something that is really getting to me. Her mom told her that she shouldn't be expecting to see me AT ALL during the summer. I leave for school in early August so we don't really have much in-person time left.
I don't want to break up with her because I like her a lot but I don't want to stay together and eventually drift apart due to not seeing each other. I don't want to be a memory of her first boyfriend that never did anything romantic or was never there. Any suggestions on what I should do? | Girlfriend's parents are super protective and our time together is VERY limited. |
t3_3e7pzy | relationships | Me [28 M/F] with my girlfriend [30 M/F] of almost 2 years, dealing with a communication barrier and a rising jealous obsession. | It took me a long time to commit to my girlfriend, and during that time where we were somewhat more casual, I had plenty of interest from others and I used to talk to plenty of women, I didn't hook up with anyone but I liked to know that others are interested and that I have options, but as our bond became stronger and I fully committed to her, I completely stopped giving anyone else my attention, even my close friendships with females took a hit as I gradually prioritized my relationship.
Problem is, she still hasn't done that. I always felt that she is more receptive to approaches that I'd like her to be, and after a couple of failed attempts to communicate that to her, my obsession got the best of me and I looked through her text messages. I found details that made my stomach turn, such as her giving other guys her number, indicating interest and having a flirty conversation then shutting it down. Another was when she told me she met an ex by-chance and talked to him briefly then stopped. I found the conversations on her phone.. The flirtation was strong, familiar, and reciprocated. While it didn't go anywhere, I feels like it could in the future and I still feel betrayed. I know she is committed to me and would not stray (she has had chances and not taken them), but her behavior is making me feel inadequate and affecting my trust of her.
I know going through other people's private stuff is a lowly move, and I regret doing it. However, my intuition is usually spot on, and whenever I feel like there's something going on and do a bit of spying, I find enough information to confirm it. What should I do ? | Girlfriend is still more receptive to being hit on/ talking to her exes. what is a good line of communication to get this in the open and resolve it. |
t3_3exuae | relationships | I [19F] have true feelings for my 3 year good friend [25M] but he only seems interested when he drinks | Okay so I know the spiel, if he only calls you when he is drunk then he you're probably just a booty call.
But I really find this case to be different. We've been friends for a long time through mutual friends at the gym that we go to, and I had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. We always used to small talk, and he was sort of always there as I went through high school. Anyways, we didn't get REALLY close until I was headed to my first year of college. Us and mutual friends spent the summer together, and my crush then turned to real feelings.
I told him how I felt before I went to school, and things were weird for awhile but then they got back to normal. He said thank you for the things I said, but that he just wanted to remain friends.
Then soon after, I found that whenever he was drunk out with his friends and I was away at school he would call me and message me. The messages always got really flirty and sensual, and then he would call me and talk to me for hours on the phone until the morning. he would tell me all these things he felt for me, and then the next day he would sort of ignore that it ever happened.
When I was home for breaks and this summer he would call me and come to my house just to be with me. Nothing ever gets past kissing or cuddling or anything, but it only happens when he's drunk.
As a disclaimer, this guy is ridiculously good-looking and gets a lot of attention from girls at the bars and around where we are from, so its not like he's just getting attention from me. I guess that's why I'm so confused. Why does he always come to me if he can get whatever he wants from other girls and there's no sex involved? On top of that, why does he say such intimate things with me if he doesn't see me that way? Thoughts on this?....what am i missing? | Am I just being pathetic by giving this guy my time and attention or is there something more here? |
t3_4g29m2 | Advice | (Ex)Girlfriend broke up with me claiming she now has "more confidence". | Spoke to my ex 3 weeks ago and we happened to talk about our relationship. I personally believe that in any situation like that, I have some degree of responsibility for its outcome.
I asked her about what changed, and what I did that made her change her mind after a year and a half. (I know its not that long for a lot of people but its the longest relationship I've had).
One of her responses was that she had more confidence now and wanted to see what else she could get. She implied that she felt like she could do better. I can't quote her exactly because it will probably not be 100% correct and I'm not trying to twist her words or anything. She also said that I was the person who made her feel better about herself.
I have no idea how to feel about this. It keeps me up at night and makes me very emotional. I don't understand what I did wrong or how I could have prevented this. I always thought that making someone feel better about themselves is a normal thing to do, I used to be relatively confident in myself before and I think it has a big role in how much you get out of life.
It's hard for me to put it in to words but I just don't understand the whole thing. After that conversation she started to behave very differently, she also made a point of showing me how happy she was with her new flings. She looked annoyed just by my presence and would generally put down anything I said. My response to all this was basically just shutting myself away and only really spending time with my closest friends. It is difficult because we share the same friend circles. And I don't like saying these things about her to people who know her because it feels like I'm bitching and generally no one sees this side of her because I was the closest to her out of everyone. So I decided to come here. | This is not the same person who said she loved me. And I don't know how to deal with it. |
t3_4gduoy | relationships | Me [20/F] Can't fall in love anymore | The title says it all. I can't fall in love anymore. I'm a woman, 20 years and I'm into men.
I've been in love, once. But that guy cheated on me, twice. Now that's 4-5 years ago. And since then I never really loved anyone anymore.
I don't know what it is. I have met a few guys who are really good guys, sweet, honest, not bad looking. I did care about them and liked them but never fell in love...
Is it maybe because they are not the one for me? Will I ever be capable of loving someone ever again? I'm a little worried because I really want someone with me.
Anyone here who thought they couldn't love anymore? I hope this story gets a happy ending. | Where is the love? :p |
t3_4j5d42 | relationships | Me [20F] with my Boyfriend [24M] in a LDR, he keeps posting pictures with and meeting his female friends...how do I get rid of my jealousy ? | So my boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for a few months now, yet we only dated in person for 2 weeks. Due to his I havent had a chance to meet any of his friends.
His friends are mostly female and he goes out dining and drinking with them, though he assures me those girls are also in relationships and he has known them forever.
Since we are in a LDR I already feel jealous that I cant hang out with him, but the fact that he spends time alone in a "date-like" setting with other girls really makes me feel insecure about him.
He also posts pictures of them being close on social media which really upsets me.
I know if it was reverse he'd be mad at me, he gets angry or jealous if I talk about my guyfriends, who I certainly dont meet one on one for dinners to rule out him feeling jealous.
How do I make peace with the fact that most of his friends are female and he's very close with them? | Boyfriend in LDR has a lot of female friends and hangs out with them in a "date-like" environment ....how do I cope with jealousy ? Am I overreacting ? |
t3_1187u3 | relationships | I [22F] feel inadequate in comparison to my intelligent and successful boyfriend [22 M]. How do I get over this? | My boyfriend [22 M] and I [22 F] have been together for a year. We love each other very much and we've agreed that we're probably going to end up together! Not only is he kind, handsome, and hilarious, but he's probably one of the smartest people I have ever met. He's studying Electrical Engineering and rocking at it too: he's graduating with honors and recently got an offer to work for a top engineering company. In short, he has a very bright future and everyone's really proud of him – there is no doubt in my mind he's going to be very successful when he gets into his career.
I, on the other hand, just graduated with humanities degrees that aren't employable this day and age and I have no desire to pursue those fields. I have been looking for a job since graduating in June and the search has been pretty discouraging. I really don't know what field I want to get into or what I want to do. My achievements aren't notable in comparison… I feel extremely lost and don't know what to do with myself. I sometimes wonder why he wanted to go out with me when he's dated more successful and intelligent girls in the past.
I'm also in constant fear that my boyfriend's family thinks that I'm inadequate. They're well aware of my boyfriend's impressive achievements and intelligence while I'm just an unemployed lowly humanities graduate with no real aspirations. How do I deal with this situation? How do I get over this? | My boyfriend has a very bright and successful future. I feel inadequate in comparison because I graduated with unemployable humanities degrees and have no direction in life. How can I get over myself and be happy? |
t3_2s7qux | relationships | I [16M] have a unique problem with this girl [16F] | So I have this really strange situation with this girl I met. We're pretty good friends and she's shown no signs of disliking me. In text, she usually sends small walls of texts and once texted me first. A few days ago she was talking with this guy who talked shit about me and told her not to talk to me cause I was a creep. She told me that he said that, and I asked if she'd listen. She jokingly said, "I don't know man, you guys are both pretty psycho", then we went to our separate classes. What should I do about this whole thing? I really like this girl I really hope she doesn't change her opinion of me cause of what this one dick told her | Guy talked shit about me to a girl I'm into, now I'm dreading that she has a different opinion of me |
t3_2qv28z | dogs | Just got a new cat, will the fighting ever end? | So today we picked up a cat from my father-in-law. They got her from the pound but the child who wanted her wasn't taking care of her. We have a mice problem and decided to take her off their hands. She is a super sweet cat. Cuddly and very calm. My father-in-law has a very old dog so the cat is accustomed to dogs.
Our dog is almost 2 years old. She has been around other cats and never had any issues with them, would hardly even notice they were there. When we brought our cat home she immediately ran behind our couch (which we expected) so we set her up a little base. Litter box, water and food dish are within a foot of the couch openings. Whenever the cat does decide to venture out her and my dog have at it the second my dog sees her.
Is there a good way for us to help our loving animals see they are equals and not enemies? I tried holding the cat up away from my dog so they could see each other but that just resulted in scratches up my arms. | Any good ways to introduce our new cat to our loving dog? Both have been around the opposite species with no issues but are currently fighting the moment they see each other. |
t3_3mza2r | relationships | I (40F) don't know how to encourage my daughter (15F) to exercise. | My daughter has always been quiet. She's never had more than one or two friends at a time, and the friendships never really lasted. From what I know it's not because they have fall-outs or anything, but because the other girls get bored of her. My daughter's the type that speaks when spoken to, she's been like this ever since she was little.
She's never liked playing with other kids, or playing in general. As a kid she used to sneak away from recess to read inside. I'm bookish too so I never really saw that as an issue.
I recently heard from her high school gym teacher, who is also a family friend, that she's really struggling in gym class. My daughter isn't a thin girl, but she's not particularly overweight either. We eat healthy at home, but there's no culture of exercise.
Her older sister is rail thin and honestly doesn't have the time to exercise (between school and theater commitments she sleeps maybe 5-6 hours a night), I'm obese but am losing weight (I currently go on walks every night but my daughter won't join me), and my husband (married 20 years) plays sports every now and then (daughter abhors team activities, always has).
Recently we just went for a walk around the city and my daughter got out of breath rather quickly. Even though I'm much heavier than her, I wasn't tired at all, so I was rather concerned. I just don't know what to do about this. Should I leave it alone and let her make her own decisions? Should I encourage her? Because she's so quiet I'm probably the only one who can talk to her about this, but I don't think she'll listen to me. | My daughter, though not overweight, is very out of shape to the point of quick fatigue but refuses to exercise. I don't know how, or if, to encourage her. |
t3_lazk9 | AskReddit | 'Eyo reddit. I'm wondering what I should do with my life. | Hello Reddit. I'm a 17 years old guy, and I've been seriously considering what I want to do for the rest of my life...
I always, as a child, thought of being something like a physicist, or a civil engineer. But hell... I can't imagine myself working for the rest of my life behind a desk. I don't mind having to study for my career, as I'm a pretty smart guy (I'm great with numbers).
I was thinking on becoming a pilot, and it's a plan, but I want to have more options to pick from.
Anyways, I love human anatomy and calculations/numbers, those are my best traits academically.
I want a job that, even if gives a low pay... I just want to have an active job, where I have to interact with other people alot, can meet new people. Being able to travel would be a major plus. I just don't want to get stressed out, work too much and see my stomach grow with time.
What would you recommend me to do? | I want an active job that might let me have a normal physical activity level, make me interact with people and traveling would be a major plus. What do? |
t3_38mt58 | tifu | TIFU by beeing a slowpoke | "Damn u drugs!!! Two days ago i was chilling with my buddy at his place yesterday was official holiday in some parts of my country and I don't have to go to work like usual in the week.
Just to know, he's living at his parents' house and most of the time i don't really realize that there are other people than us because his parents are so quiet and most of the time they go to bed early.
So we sat in his room watching south park, smoked one or two joints and yes, i would like to say i was kind of baked and i felt the huge need to go and empty my bladder, after a litre of lipton icetea such things happen a lot i guess.
I walked to the toilet stood in front of it, released the kraken and started to pee. It was awesome. It was flowing and flowing until i hear someone behind my back saying "oohps" when my brain was kind of starting the fuck up.
I turned around, looking straight to my friends mother. she was already in the process of turning around, but not fast enough to NOT realize that i was still pissing and waving my flooding phallus in her direction.
There was a lot of fresh piss on the floor. It felt like hours until my slowpoke brain begins to understand what i am doing - I fastly turned around to end what i started.
She already left, without a comment. And I cleaned everything up, unwilling to accept that I'm such a dumb idiot, went back and don't tell anyone until now.
Now I don't know whether I'm going back to his place ever in my life. I really don't want to meet his mom again ever!
At least I don't drop a big fudge dragon in the urinal. | Drugs are bad, mkay?" |
t3_1ucbxd | relationships | Making the transistion from friends to >friends | Sorry, awful cliche question but I could do with some advice. There is a girl that I'm good friends with but do like a lot and would like to try moving it on but I'm pretty awkward when it comes to this.
So without saying, "can we be more?" How do I get there, or suggest it? So how do I hug her more, get more kinda comfortable with her... I think that's my problem, I'm bad at the small scale physical stuff, so any tips or techniques?
I'm not stuck in the friend zone that I know of or anything, I just need some way of moving it up a notch.
I'm a 17 year old male in the UK for what it's worth. Thankyou in advance | how do you come off as more of a relationship candidate without being weird? Want to become more than friends with friend but I'm bad with asking/forcing hugs and shizz |
t3_2m6ols | relationships | My[29M] GF[24F] of almost 1 year told my son[4M] to call her "Mommy" behind my back. - Update. | [Original Post](
[First Update](
I know all of you guys would be expecting a wonderful update with all of us becoming one big happy family.
Sorry, but I got bitch slapped by life.
Since a couple of weeks ago, she kept pushing me again and again over visiting my son. I told her "No" firmly, but she kept on being passive aggressive. All I wanted was a little more time, but she pushed me to a limit. She said that my son was missing her (he was not) and that I'm doing him a disservice by keeping her out of his life, and that I'm a horrible parent and I can't raise my son alone. We had a big fight over it, and we broke up.
She broke down and crawled back and apologised but things were never going to be the same.
Life fucking sucks. | Girlfriend kept pushing me over and over again to let her meet my son. We broke up over it. |
t3_2nnwzv | tifu | TIFU by being f****** being retarded | To fully understand the story you must know that i am bound to an electric wheelchair.
It was a normal day at school, nothing out of the ordinary. Until a teacher came into the class room and told us that we could leave early today (10 am). Now i had a problem because this happened before i got my drivers license. And the way i normally transported myself back and forth was with a taxi.
Normally the taxi wouldn't show up till 2.30 pm, so i tried to get the taxi to show up sooner so i didn't have to wait, but i was told that wasn't possible.
And this is where everything went wrong. I went into rage mode, and told myself that just because the teachers couldn't plan their schedule in advance i shouldn't be stuck at school. So i had the brilliant idea of driving all the way home by myself. In my wheelchair. Out on the road. First of all it was pretty scary driving on a road where people were only inches away from hitting me multiple times, but the worst thing happened when i was half-way home. The chair gave out... I remembered, stupid as i was, that i had forgotten to charge the battery on my chair. I just made it past the road sign and was stranded at the sidewalk. So i sat there for an hour, normally that wouldn't be a problem but i also forgot to mention that i didn't bring any warm clothes and it was in the middle of the winter. And to top it all of when sitting there in misery, hating myself for being stupid, one of my friends drove past me in his car waving and smiling like an idiot, because he couldn't see that i was stranded and he just drove on. But my luck finally changed for just a short period of time. I managed to convince someone to come pick me up and drive me home.
Now it would probably seem like this was all over, but because life happened to wanna teach me a lesson i also had to be sick for a week | Forgot to recharge my wheelchair, thought i could drive home from school. Got stranded in the middle of nowhere, which resulted in my being sad and sick for a week. |
t3_1nmg1l | relationships | Me [25M] with gf [22F], 2 months, she freaked out twice and sort of vaguely broke up with me ... But amazing in every other way. Wants to hang out, what do I do? | Hi all, I dated this girl for about 2 months. She's awesome - really nice to me, cute, funny, etc.
But shes from a conservative background and twice she freaked out about some stuff. Once because she felt we had sex too soon, and another time about birth control/etc (were on the same page, she misunderstood and I didn't communicate well).
I liked her a lot, and it really sucked to be broken up with by a girl who is so sweet and I like so much.
Outside of those two incidents though she's treated me really well. She's been very honest and very easy to hang out with. In fact, in the first month and a half she and I hung out almost everyday! I just liked how confident I felt that she liked me, and was so honest about it I guess. That didn't change when she said goodbye, just that she got freaked out about some stuff.
Given all that, she recently asked me when she'd get to see me again. I don't know what that means and I don't know what I want any more. I'm worried about being hurt , and I'm worried that she'll be amazing, then she'll break up with me when something freaks her out.
Advice? | See title :) exactly that! |
t3_349u0m | relationships | I [16 M] am with my girlfriend [16 F] of 6 months but I'm losing the romantic feeling. | Before you read all of this, a couple things:
1. She lives a couple states over, we met on Reddit and started out as friends
2. Please don't comment on how our relationship "isn't real" (due to our age and also location), because I sort of agree.
3. I really do like her, and I'm sure if she lived near me I wouldn't have this problem.
Okay, so the first couple months went great. We spent about 8 hours FaceTiming every day. I got to know her parents, sister, and all of her friends. We got very close, told each other everything, and everything was going great. I *thought* I was in love, but I've come to realize that's pretty much impossible for my situation, I still tell her I do anyway since she's convinced she's in love. I'd feel like an asshole if I told her I don't love her. Anyway, lately we haven't been FaceTiming as much. We don't text all day like we used to. We rarely every say "I love you" anymore. She still shows that she is crazy about me, but for about the past 3-4 weeks I just haven't felt like I used to. I used to want to talk to her all day long and just be with her in some way. Now.. I just don't feel much towards her anymore. She is visiting this summer, (in about 2-3 months) and I'm worried that I will still feel like this when she visits. I'm not posting this in order to find out how to end the "relationship", I'm posting to see if any of you guys have any advice on how to feel like I used to. I want to feel more of a romantic attraction to her. I get that I'm young and this doesn't even matter that much, but I'd just hate to see her get hurt over the fact I don't feel the same way she does. | Long distance girlfriend of 6 months, not feeling any romantic attraction towards her. Advice? |
t3_3idrpd | travel | Best way to introduce my semi-disabled mom to international travel? | I'm an experienced and adventurous traveler (solo female travel to Africa and Middle East) so I'm sort of at a loss here.
My mom is in her early 50s; health issues have given her physical limitations and she has very low physical stamina (a big adventure for her involves an hour or two of shopping and a long lunch on the patio; she is only up for this once every 4-6 weeks). Climbing one flight of stairs makes her significantly winded, she can't carry more than 10lbs, and cannot rotate her arms very well (for example, she cannot buckle her own seatbelt). She needs frequent sitting rest. (We went to Ikea once and it took her 8 hours to get through it; 6 hours were resting.)
She wants American-style comfort in accommodations but also wants to have experiences to brag about to her friends. She loves shopping and eating. She likes to see landmarks and natural beauty, but has to be driven basically right to it. She has never left the USA before and desperately wants to travel.
I'm thinking that a common vacation destination (like Mexico, Caribbean, Bahamas) may be the best intro to international travel for her. We're looking to spend about $250/day (plus airfare) for both of us, and a duration of 3-5 nights. I have been looking primarily at cruises and resorts, but I'm open to planning a trip. I'm hoping to find an option that accommodates her needs AND provides some feeling of adventure/excitement for me (not sure if that's super possible without splitting up). | My mom has mobility issues/low stamina, and high comfort standards. For her first international trip, should we take a cruise, stay at a resort, or plan our own trip? And would you recommend Mexico, Caribbean, Bahamas, Belize....? |
Subsets and Splits