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t3_v0c5l | AskReddit | Addicts and ex-addicts of reddit. Why did you allow yourself to become addicted? | I've always wondered how people would allow themselves to deteriorate so much that they develop an addiction to something, whether it be Cigarettes or Smack.
Whenever an ex addict tells me their problems they face(d) with their addiction I do feel bad for them I really do, but theres always that voice in the back of my mind that says "well your addiction was your fault. Why should I feel sorry for you for a problem you brung upon yourself?"
It's a terrible thought but it's always in the back of my mind. My brain just refuses to feel sorry for them. | It's terrible but I just can't feel sorry for people who allowed themselves to become addicted. So (ex)addicts Why did allow yourself to become addicted? |
t3_23fvis | personalfinance | I'm 24 and paying into a pension, but I have student loans and LoC. Should I stop paying into it so I can pay off loans faster? (CA) | I'm 24 right now and paying about $200 a month into a pension (CPP). I got a decent job after college so they offered me one and I took it.
Unfortunately I have about $25,000 in student loans (OSAP) and about $6,000 in a Line of Credit. My OSAP is set to be paid off in ten years, but that's a long time and my payments are about $320 a month. It got me thinking that I could take what I pay into the pension a month, and put it towards my OSAP to pay it off sooner
I know pensions are good, but there's a few things to factor. I am not staying in the city I'm in for long, it's small with little opportunity for me. I will be likely moving to a different town and working for a different company. This makes me think it would be next to impossible to try to keep a pension going. I much rather start worry about it once my loans are paid off.
Money can be tight sometimes, I'm living with my girlfriend and these loan payments suck a lot. I want them gone as quickly as possible so I can use the free money to save and invest it.
Is it silly to give up a pension or is it worth my while to use it instead to pay off my loans? | paying into a pension (CPP), have ~30K student debt, thinking of not paying into pension to pay off loans faster |
t3_4x0yxu | relationships | my girlfriend [17F] broke up with me [17M] out of the blue. I don't know what to do | My girlfriend and I were doing perfectly fine a few days ago, we were happy as ever, but she texted me out of the blue, saying it was too much to handle and now she refuses to have any interaction with me whatsoever. I'm very confused, as the relationship wasn't overly serious, and I know there wasn't some other guy involved. She was basically, the only friend I had and now she runs away from me, and has threatened to block me if I text her again. I'm scared of spiraling into a depressed state. I'm afraid of it effecting my performance in school and my family life. What advice can you give me? For getting over it, and/or for reconnecting as friends. | My happy relationship ended with no warning and I'm an emotional train wreck. Advice? |
t3_3k64aq | askwomenadvice | What To Do? | So I had been dating this girl for around 6 months when she cheated on me with my best friend.
I found out through a friend of mine who had seen it, when i confronted her about it she lied to me.
She ended up telling me sometime later after my best friend confirmed it.
Me, her and my best friend talked and decided to do a polyamorus relationship with us because she loved both of us and I didnt want to lose her.
After a while the best friend ended it with her because he felt wrong about the whole thing, I never was really into it either to be honest.
We stayed together and I helped her get over the breakup with him while drifting apart with my best friend.
Skip forward about two years and she's been cheating on me with another good friend of mine.
We ended up breaking up, but we are still friends but she's with this other friend of mine, a married man with a kid.
Me and her still hang out and sometimes kiss, shower togther and what not, but we're not having sex.
Of course all of the blame isn't on her, as my friends reciprocated, but she was never one to communicate her problems with me.
I'm not really looking to date her again because i don't feel that I could trust her.
I guess I'm just curious on what I should do now. Her and my friend are having some problems because he's married and I'm kind of her shoulder to cry on for that.
Honestly I hate helping her through this because it hurt me so bad in the first place but i really care about her.
Should I stop hanging out with her and just get her out of my life? | Girl cheated on me twice, still love her, we broke up but not sure what to do. |
t3_47cm83 | tifu | TIFU by getting banned from a lecture for laughing. | So this FU happened this morning.
University resumed this week after winter break and I started a new course together with a friend.
In this course we were going to use Matlab to calculate some economic stuff, so the first lecture was an introduction to Matlab for those that had not yet worked with it.
My friend and I had used Matlab before, so we weren't really paying attention, as it was still very basic stuff being explained.
So my friend was arranging Matlab and Excel in a way that he could both see the data and Matlab or easily switch between the two.
In order to do this he googled the multiple desktop feature for W10. So he was busy for a few minutes and when he finished I looked over to see his final arrangement. While I checked out his screen setup he turns to me and went like [this](
I didn't expect that so i burst out laughing and kinda tried to play it off as a cough while burying my face in my hands. After I calmed myself down I looked up, face red and tears still in my eyes.
At this point the prof asked me if something was funny.
I responded by saying no and apologizing.
He didn't want any of that though, because his next sentence was: "Get out, I don't want to see you in my class again."
After he said that he left the room for a brief moment while I shut down my Computer.
He returned and repeated, that my friend and I should leave.
So we packed our things and left the room while he gave us a grumpy glare.
I don't know why he was so harsh, maybe he thought we were laughing at him, because of his thick accent or he just didn't like that we didn't pay any attention to his Matlab introduction. Anyway, I guess we have Wednesday morning off now... | Friend approved of his new desktop setup - professor didn't though. |
t3_1ry7r4 | relationships | Me [24 M] am confident my coworker wants me to ask her [29 F] out. How do I not blow the whole thing? | I'm 24 and haven't dated since high school. This is mostly because I have been overweight my entire life and have no self-confidence. I recently lost the weight and am ready to get back on the proverbial saddle. A coworker (29/f) and I have become quite flirtatious recently, to the point where I can tell she wants me to ask her out. No, I am not delusional. I've been told by other female coworkers that it is obvious.
My question is, how do I do it without screwing it up.? Furthermore, if she does day yes, how do I not blow the whole thing? I guess I'm just nervous that she will say yes and then be disappointed. | I know she wants me to ask her out. How do I not blow it? |
t3_qv152 | AskReddit | Are we viewing the world and universe "upside down"? | It occurred to me a long time ago ( before google was invented ) that those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere could be looking at the world, and universe for that matter upside down?
I am likely oversimplifying this but living essentially on a sphere the maps that have been drawn by Europeans and North Americans have always put the North on top. The gravitational forces of the earth make the top or bottom a matter of choice to the original cartographers.
If we step out to our galaxy we "revolve" around the center of the Milky Way. Again we consider the Northern half of our planet to be on the top side of the galaxy. Is this accurate? Or are we just floating along essentially in the middle and we could easily "flip", stating that the southern hemisphere is "on top"?
Going out one step further can we determine if the Milky Way is "on top of the galaxy", or again are we in some kind of middle band. Note I do not have the faintest idea of how to describe anything at this scale.
If anyone has any insight into this I would be happy to indulge myself. | The Aussies may actually be on top. The Europeans just drew the maps first. |
t3_4uk5fd | relationships | I [16M] love my girlfriend [16F] too much to let her go, even though she makes me feel like shit | Me and my girlfriend (let's call her Jess) have been dating for about 6 months now. I started dating girls when I was about 10, so I'm not completely a stranger to girls. It's safe to say that Jess makes me feel a way that no other girl has. I don't know yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her. She just makes me so happy. But yet, she has mood swings. For example, yesterday she got mad at me because I couldn't FaceTime at 3 in the morning (I am in France for vacation and she is in California) and hasn't talked to me since, even though I've tried to talk it out. Her excuse is that she's having a shitty week, but this happens often. She'll get mad at me for the stupidest reasons, but then come back down to earth and everything will be rosy again. I feel like her moods dictate our relationship. This all points to a toxic relationship, yes? But the thing is, I feel like the pros outweigh the cons. I feel like I love her so much that I can't let her go. Yet, she makes me feel like utter shit and ruins my days when she gets mad at me for stupid reasons. I have no idea what to do. Please help. | I lover her but I dont wanna let her go. What do I do? |
t3_342f9u | relationships | Me [19 M] trust issues with gf [19 F]. She cheated, I forgave her, but still hangs around the friend who she went out with to cheat on me. | Hello all, this is my first post ever so I apologize if the text doesn't flow smoothly.
I've been dating my current girlfriend for 11 months. About 4 months into the relationship she cheated on me during a "girls night out." She seemed very apologetic, and I really liked this girl throughout high school so I wanted to make it work. Months go by and I still don't trust her, (probably due to my own self esteem). One night I drunk text one of our mutual female acquaintances that she went out with, the night that she cheated. I asked, "why didn't you stop her, and if she had something against our relationship." She replied first to my SO while ignoring my texts. When the mutual friend finally did reply she stated," I don't like you, respect you, or want you with her". My girlfriend and I talked about what she said and she told me that "You don't need to like her, shes my friend not yours". I don't know if I should end the relationship, but I can't ever trust her with that friend. Her friend always invites guys to "girls nights out." Knowing that she willingly has a friend that disrespects me like that often makes me question if the relationship is worth it. | current gf has friend that wants to break us up any opportunity she gets, and my gf is ok with that. |
t3_2wyzcw | relationships | My(25/m) brother(13/m) wants to talk to our deadbeat dad, who's dying, but my bros and mom are against it | My father is a piece of shit, he left our family and left my mom to raise 5 kids. I helped her enough for us to get by. Well the years of alcohol and drug abuse has left his body a wreck, his in his last breath. He sent one of our uncles to talk to my brothers asking them if they wish to see him an if they want anything they could just ask him an give it to them. All of my brothers just ignored him.
When I found out about this from my mom, I went an talked to the youngest. He was to young to remember our fathers violent ways. I asked him in private if he wanted to talk to him and that no one would know if he said yes. He said he wants to talk to him.
Now the thing is how would I be able to get my younger brother to meet our father. His side of the family dislikes me, so there's no way for me to get into contact with them. I also don't know we're our father is at currently,so I can drive my bro to him. Another problem is that my father doesn't want me anywhere near him. So reddit how do I do it, how do I get my brother closure.. | brother wants to talk to our father but I don't know how to make it happen |
t3_4hm68u | relationships | i [27F] am moving across the county after getting accepted to a top business school and now my fiance [30M] does not want to go | My fiancé and I have been together for just under 2 years. We got engaged last month and plan to marry next summer. We are extremely compatible and he is the person I want to spend my life with.
I was accepted to my dream school, one the best in the world. He has been extremely supportive of my aspirations from the start, and weve been making plans for it since I started applications last fall. It was an exciting surprise to us both that I got in, and now that I have, I am trying to make plans for us to move.
We currently live on the west coast and we both absolutely love it. He has a flexible career that allows him to work/travel from basically anywhere. But business school is in the Northeast, and while neither of us want to leave the sunny weather, I assumed we would be compromising on this as we had always discussed.
Now as we are getting closer to the summer, he is having second thoughts. He wants me to go first and him to go later, but with no timeline in mind. He currently is on a short term project on the west coast and he could very easily find one to relocate him to the northeast. However, he is primarily in tech so Silicon Valley is the ideal area for him to be in, and he cites his network and potential of opportunity for being the reason for delay.
Neither of us are deeply rooted in our current town of only 1 year. I am sad, hurt, and offended that he has hesitated now to allow me to enjoy this opportunity. I received other acceptances as well that would have let us stay in our current area; we collectively decided that I should pick the school in the northeast. I am worried that if I go without him he will never come, and I don't want to waste my first semester or year being held back or confused about where my future lies. What should I do? How can I deal with this in the right way? | I took an amazing opportunity to attend top b-school across the country, fiance originally supported me and supported moving together, but now hesitates to leave and makes excuses to stay put with no timeline. What to do? |
t3_1ob5vz | relationships | Me [31 M] have a history of bad/unhealthy relationships. Feeling pretty unworthy of love and wondering if anyone has a similar history that they repaired. | I have a history of relationships moving way too quickly and then blowing up. I also find myself often pining for the girls in those relationships and that baggage I carry around with me. I had one, what I thought was healthy, relationship of 6 years, but I was unfaithful.
Basically I just feel totally worthless and terrible. The shame is pretty intense right now as I just got out of another cluster of a situation. I'm in counseling and trying to get my head on straight, but right now it's hard to see a future where I just don't keep making mess after mess.
Has anyone found themselves being an awful partner and been able to improve themselves? I'm seriously considering just giving up on the idea of finding a healthy relationship because I don't trust myself or my instincts. | Feeling a ton of guilt and shame from past relationships. Feel like it's best I never be with someone again. |
t3_zhahj | relationships | [21 M] My relationship with my girlfriend [19 F] seems to have grown stale. | So I've been dating my girlfriend for just over 6 months, and I've never really been in a relationship this long before. When we're together I enjoy myself, but I never really feel excited to see her or anything.
I'm not sure if this is just because I'm used to seeing her, or if this is something I should take as a sign that things aren't working out. I feel as though I'm going through the motions sometimes and I don't know how to feel about it.
I'm not sure how else to expand on this, I'm not exactly eloquent. | My relationship seems stale and I don't know how to react. |
t3_2somll | relationships | I [17 M] got dumped twice last weekend by my now ex [17 F] girlfriend, I need some help. | We'd been dating for about a year and five months, we began to fight quite a bit a few months ago, nothing too serious but little stuff that just kept escalating until one of us would walk away, the relationship wasn't perfect but for the most part it was just regular bickering and we were happy every other time.
She broke up with me last Friday after a fight on text, we got back together Saturday afternoon, everything was good until we went to see a movie but we were late and both got agitated with each other.
When we got back to my house we just stood there not saying anything until she said she keeps making rush decisions, after some tears, and her explaining her feelings I told her that if she needed to breakup with me for school or to be happier or anything then she should do it, I'm not everything in the world and she needs to put herself above me.
I'm just trying to figure my own stuff out, she begged to be friends and for me to not hate her and I don't hate her, I don't know about being friends as it would only cause us to get back together (which isn't best for the both of us) or turn toxic if one of us started seeing somebody else. Anybody have advice other than the simple "time heals all wounds" I'm trying to stay occupied but its Friday and all of my friends are working or busy and so I am alone and very depressed at this point, I'm just looking for really good albums, movies or games that give you a good feeling or something to help, any sort of seemingly unorthodox advice is totally welcome and if something helped you focus on new beginnings and a better future please let me know! hell I just want some more human interaction. | Sad as hell after girlfriend broke up with me twice in two days, looking for any thing that helped you or somebody through a breakup, usual or not, and any suggestions on what to do to cope. |
t3_2ydppp | relationships | So I [20F] got flu this weekend and asked my boyfriend [19M] to come look after me. He replied 'Lol I don't wanna get sick' | We have been seeing each other for almost 5 months now, and just last week made things official. I suddenly got extremely unwell this weekend, and when I asked him to come look after me he said he didn't want to get sick. While I do understand this, I would like him to show a bit of concern, but he hasn't replied to my last text, or answered my calls.
I realise I probably sound very needy, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable to want him to check in on me when I'm sick. Even if it's just a call or a text. | Got sick, boyfriend doesn't seem to care much. |
t3_320hz9 | relationships | My (17 F) boyfriend (18 M) seems to have lost interest.. | I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, with a few breakups and fights in between. When we first started dating I was his "dream girl" and he treated me better than anyone ever has. But as the relationship progressed he grew distant and stopped complimenting me or being affectionate or making time for me, etc. I really want our relationship to go back to how it used to be and when I bring it up to him he says he is the same and that he is doing everything he used to which is obviously not true. I have tried to give him space, I've tried to act like it doesn't bother me, yet nothing I do seems to make him treat me even close to the way he used to. I feel very unwanted, unappreciated, and unimportant to him. He makes me feel like his second choice as a way to spend his time, like something else is always more interesting or important than me. It's taking a huge toll on my happiness and confidence in the relationship. What can I do to change the way he treats me and our relationship? | My boyfriend of one year seems uninterested in me, I want things to go back to how they were in the beginning of our relationship. |
t3_52huf6 | tifu | TIFU by opening a window | Back in high school, my 3 closest friends would always hang out at one of my buddies houses. We usually had the place to ourselves, so we were always hanging out, smoking, and playing video games. One weekend his family was gone, so we all decided to smoke a blunt on the couch in his living room. It was a memorable time for us all. Called it the "comfy couch blunt"
Fast forward a few years... My buddy and his family moved out. The house was ready to be sold, and it was empty for months. One day in early November we were all back in town and said "let's go back to the old place and smoke one more blunt in the living room. So we all get there, open up the empty house and start reminiscing. Someone rolled one up, and we sparked it just like old times. My friend, remembering that the house would still be shown and not yet sold, went to the top floor and opened some windows to keep the air fresh. Got super stoned and called it a day. A couple weeks later his mother got a phone call from his grandfather about the house. Something went wrong. We forgot to close the windows and all the pipes burst in the house. We went over to take a look, the ground was all warped the ceiling fell in over some places, and there was a lot of damage. They suspected it was us, but we all ended up not getting in any real trouble for it. | opened up a window in a vacant house to smoke weed, forgot to close it, pipes in the house burst the next week |
t3_2rlie8 | relationships | I'm [19 M] and I really like one of my friends [18 F], do I tell her? | The past few months I have become good friends with this girl, and now I really like her. We are both in college now, and she is best friends with one of my good friends. We knew each other in high school, but we haven't started hanging out until about these last six months.
She goes to college in our hometown, and I go to another university about an hour away. I hang out with her when I go back home, and when she comes and stays with her friend where I am. We have also started texting a lot over these past months.
Now, my problem is if I should tell her that I like her. I'm worried that if I do it could mess up our friendship. However, if I don't ever tell her then I feel that it will keep bothering me.
If we did start dating, the distance wouldn't be a problem, as we are only an hour apart and see each other frequently. | Should I tell one of my close friends that I like her? |
t3_1oygrz | relationships | I didn't know who else to ask about this | I'm a [M21] and I have only dated 2 girls in my entire life and my added relationship experience equals 3 months and they were both 2 years ago in my first year of university, I didn't have a friend of the opposite gender till 3 years ago
The problem is that due to my lack of experience I get nervous when girls want to do anything with me (it's a case of extreme sexual anxiety),
Anyways I liked this girl and she liked me too and we had gone a couple dates but when she wanted me to have sex with her (we were both drunk) I blamed my inability to have sex on the alcohol but if I was to masturbate I wouldn't have a problem
This incident ended up causing her to decide that she didn't want to see me because I wouldn't have sex with her and that I was too focused on having a relationship, the decision was made that we would not see each other or even talk to each other, which is really hard considering I go to a really small school in a really small city and we run into each other a lot
Now this isn't the first time this has happened in the last 2 years it has happened 6 times and the one I described was the most recent , and I'm starting to get really discourage that I will ever find a girl that will ever love me (that isn't my mother), i really don't know what to do and I was hoping that you guys would know what I should do | I have sexual anxiety and I'm thinking about giving up on love |
t3_2uk7zs | relationships | [34 M] Having Jealous Dreams Toward My [34 F] Wife of 10 Years | About a month ago, I had a dream one night about my wife marrying another guy then moving me and the kids in with this guy so we are still "together". In the dream, the guy is very wealthy, has a nice mansion and drives expensive cars. I don't remember all of it but toward the end, I start feeling furiously jealous and leave her.
(I told her about the dream the next day, she laughed and tried to assure me. Everything you'd typically want after a dream like that.)
Fast forward to last night...I have another dream.
This time a guy is living with us in our current house. The guy living with us is to her as I am...A b/f, husband or whatever...I am not sure who was married to who, I don't think it really matters. (Throughout these dreams, the guy is never familiar to me so I don't know if it's a different guy or the same.)
In the dream, she follows him to the bedroom and closes the door. I open it and see her giving head to the guy. I don't actually see it but I know what is going on. I don't interrupt because I feel it is not my place to since she is with him also.
When everything is done, she comes out of the bedroom with him and into the kitchen where I am, like nothing happened. I am extremely furious and jealous when this happens. Then I wake up shortly after this.
As far as I know, we never argue or discuss the situations in the dreams.
The worst part about the dreams is that I can not think of any reason to be having them. Nothing odd has happen to cause them, that I can remember. They are just those dreams who really stick with you. That you can not shake from your mind.
Any suggestions or ideas on why is appreciated. | I keep having dreams of my wife and I living with another man and I don't know why. |
t3_15mbhq | dating_advice | Are things awkward between me (25 M) and a woman (25 F) I met through and online dating site? | So I just went on a date yesterday a girl whom I had met through an online dating site. I don't have any experience with online dating, and don't have a whole lot of regular dating experience either
After sending out a few messages this girl eventually messages me first. We meet up for coffee and things go really well. She wants to meet up again after we get back. Earlier tonight she starts texting me and we exchange text messages for a few hours.
At around 11:00pm I check my email and notice some of the people I had message had responded so I log on to the dating website to reply. After fifteen minutes I notice the girl I had gotten coffee pinged my profile(keep in mind this site tells you when users are online, or when they were last online), so she obviously saw that I was online.
My question is, how do I proceed? My initial gut reaction is that now things are awkward and that I did something wrong. Am I making something of nothing? | Got coffee with a girl whom I met through an online dating site, things went well and she wants to meet up again. Log on to the dating site to respond to messages and the girl pings my profile. I feel like things are awkward, and I am not sure if I did something wrong, or how to proceed. |
t3_ifu7m | AskReddit | Redditors who have had a threesome, what's your story? How did it happen? | I'll start. One Sunday morning I had just woke up around 1pm, was eating breakfast in my parents house (where I lived when I was 20) and I get a phone call from a girl I hooked up with about 8 months prior. Hadn't spoken to her since, so ignored the call then responded with a text "Did you call?" (cause I'm an asshole). And this is word for word the text interaction that followed:
Girl: tryna fuck?
Me: I just woke up.
Girl: Well we're horny!
Me: Who's we?
Girl: Me and Heather.
Me: (does quick facebook creep to find out who Heather is, turns out she is hot) Alright well come on over!
Luckily my parents were both going to be gone for awhile so I had time. The girls come over and it turns out that one of the girls had a bf who cheated on her and she wanted to get back at him by going on a huge drinking binge and having a 3some with someone, and I happened to be close by. | had a 3some due to proximity. Couldn't have done less to make that happen. |
t3_362vvf | relationships | Me [27 M] with [19 F] friend/more than friends? Feels like she places no value in me at times, but i think its because of how i act. | She does on occasion "get in the mood" through text and has even sent me nudes. However, she seems to want to avoid any kind of confrontation with me, unless its just me being silly talking about casual stuff that has no content in it whatsoever. When a problem arises and I try to talk to her about it she will rarely respond or tries to go out of her way not to.
Also, I feel like she just holds no value in whatever it is we have. Maybe I shouldn't feel this way, but for example last night we were playing league of legends, and i asked if she wanted to join a game and she said sure, she then proceeded to join a group of random dudes who dont even live in the same time zone as us and play with them pretty much the rest of the night, and of course being in their skype call. While at the same time just ignoring my attempts to get her to play a game. She also has changed her skype profile and status to something similar to whatever these guys have, "whoa dave" and random mice or something? She knows I like her as I have tried to interact with her multiple times(randomly meeting up, dates etc.) This probably shouldnt bother me, but it does, and that is why i want to ultimately get responses. | Am I acting too needy(pretty sure the answer is yes)? Any tips to maybe not care about this stuff?(I do try to go out every now and then to bars and clubs) could our age difference be the reason behind this?(the guys she rather play with are all 18-20). |
t3_45sgug | relationships | Me [19M] with my ex-girlfriend [18F] went out for 6 months but are now weird almost friends | We went out for a couple of months and had a pretty strong relationship, but we were just not right for each other. We mutually decided to break up, and agreed to give each other time and space before we could become friends again. I did, however, say that I wanted to still be friendly with her and talk through this process, as she has a gorgeous personality and we get along very well, but she has been completely blanking me. I really don't want this happening because I like her as a person and want to be friends with her, but it seems like that we are drifting further apart.
Every now and then she comes over to mine (we go to the same college and she lives close by) to talk, and we are friendly. However, in public she is more distant and ignores me almost completely. Last night I said that I just wanted her to be happy and if that meant finding a new boyfriend, I would not mind. However, I said it a little awkwardly and so she ended up crying. I think she inferred that I was saying I wanted to move on and find a new girlfriend. This was, however, not my intention. I texted her apologizing, explaining the miscommunication, but she ignored my texts. I also saw her again that same night, and she blanked me completely, not even saying hi or acknowledging my presence.
I know it will take time for us to become friends, but I don't know what to do because it seems like everything I say hurts her in some way and drives us slightly further apart. | ex-girlfriend keeps blanking me, I often say dumb shit and making situation worse. I just want to be friends with her. |
t3_1snn0v | relationships | Me [21 M] am stuck in a serious love triangle with a 20F and a 20F [Dating] | Some Background Info
---
OK first off, this is a throw away account i've got alot of friends that know my real one and i'd rather not share my situation with them at this time.
Now we will assign some names the 20 year old will be called Emma and the 20 Sue (completely both made up)
Both Sue and Emma live together and are super close friends in the same building as myself while attending university. I see them both on a regular basis and we hang out fairly often.
On to the story
---
I've known emma for about a year longer than sue, we talked, laughed, watched tv together, Danced together both at clubs and just around her apartment. talked about our family where we're from, what we like to do and stuff like that Naturally in time i started to fall in love with Emma
Problem is I'm not sure if the feelings are mutual, Some days i think to myself after reading some of her messages that without a doubt they are, other days she seems slightly distant and i doubt myself.
Now on to Sue, Sue is a very attractive girl who's roommates and teammates with Emma (yeah i left that detail out at the start) I thought we were just friends, however lately she's been inviting me to hang out more and more often, go eat with her and judging by how she words her texts to me the same way i word mine to Emma I'd say she's started to fall in love with me.
Like i said they live together, when i hang out with one in their apartment the other is also hanging out unless they're gone somewhere else. I talk to them both constantly throughout the day but i am worried about what's to come, I doubt Sue knows i like emma but i wouldn't be surprised if Emma knew Sue liked me.
It's a weird situation to be in, i don't want to lose either friends so i am coming to you for advise reddit, what should i do. | I love Emma, Emma's roommate and teammate Sue has a crush on me. (read the whole thing though.) |
t3_xiscx | relationships | My boyfriend is really shy, and quiet. So much so, that I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable by bringing things up that need to be talked about...like sex. I need some advice here. | I'm 21/f and he's 27/m, we've been seeing each other for almost 3 months now.
To give you some perspective on the shyness issue, let me tell you a little story first. I had a conversation with him (via facebook...) about being frustrated with our lack of communication, which in ways has improved, but it's still got a ways to go. Later that night, we were discussing our previous conversation and he said something like, "So, to give you some perspective on who I am..." Peppered with many Umms and pauses. "Its hard for me to put into words, but, umm, I've had intimate relations with this many people." And he held up his hand. I kid you not, it took him what seemed like 5 minutes to spit this out while I patiently listened. Clearly he felt extremely awkward talking about it.
I'm a very sexual person, and I've had a lot of partners...certainly a lot more than I can count on one hand...or two. I'm very confident that I know what I like in the bedroom.
We do have sex pretty regularly, and for the most part it's pretty good, but I REALLY want to talk to him about some things he/we can do to make it better, however I'm afraid that it's going to make him feel really uncomfortable/self conscious, and like I'm putting him on the spot. I feel like a total fucking coward writing him an email or facebook message about things like this, but at this point I kind of feel like it's the best way to get through to him without him feeling too awkward or under pressure to quickly respond/know what to say. Plus it gives him the impression that I would rather communicate that way, which is totally not the case at all...I want to work towards making him feel comfortable talking to me about ANYTHING, which I have told him that he should be, but clearly that wasn't enough.
What should I do? | My boyfriend is extremely shy talking about sex, and I'm not sure how I should communicate with him about it to make him feel most comfortable. |
t3_2hegxn | relationships | I [22 F] don't feel aroused by my SO [27 M] of 2 years. I find myself wanting to sleep with other people, don't know how to stop feeling guilty but also don't want to break up with him | I don't need a long explanation for this, I'm just feeling really guilty because I have an amazing partner. He is supportive, talented, and very kind.
For some reason, I find it harder and harder to sleep with him and am more attracted to other people than I ever was before. I don't know what to do. I am his first serious relationship and I can't imagine sitting him down and saying "I am not attracted to you, I want to sleep with other people."
Is this just a phase because I am younger than him? Is this a normal thing most people go through in long term relationships? How can I solve this issue without breaking up with him? I am absolutely terrified of revealing this, sleeping with someone else and then realizing I lost an amazing person. Any advice would help. Thank you. | no longer attracted to older boyfriend, wants to sleep with other people, doesn't want to break up with boyfriend. HALP. |
t3_1pqupx | relationship_advice | Me [22/m] with my [27/f] friend of 4 years; I feel a little resentful and equally dejected. Am I wrong? | Hi there!
after lurking around here for a while I thought it was time to make a post, especially after reading some comments that I found helpful
I am 22 years old, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at a young age.
however, what you would call high functioning, as I am very sociable and have a great group of close friends.
3 months ago I arranged for myself and a 27 year old female friend who I have known for 4 1/2 years, to go looking at stars through high powered telescopes at a community event.
It's a surprise for her because she adores stars and space, an interest we share. Unfortunately when we arrived it was closed, and we decided to do it later on.
Fast forward 3 months; we meet up for life drawing and she tells me that she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. In other words, my idea.
I know for a fact that it was her who suggested it, and not her boyfriend, who is often lazy and forgetful (for instance I was one of the only people who remembered to wish her a happy birthday)
Am I wrong for feeling resentful and cheated? and how can I go about raising the issue with her, without her getting the wrong idea?
Part of me wants to be completely honest and upfront about my feelings.
I have already posted in /r/aspergers, but I thought I would also get the opinions of you fine ladies and gentlemen. | Suggested to a close female friend that we go stargazing. Months later she tells me she is going stargazing at the same place with her boyfriend. |
t3_2sp9ya | relationships | What's up with guys who hit-it-and-quit-it? (23F) | I've been the victim of the hit-it-and-quit it / the fuck zone a lot lately and it realllly sucks.
I'm not even talking like the one-night stand kind of hookups, where it's typical to hit-it-and-quit it. That's happened before and it's been no big deal.
But this is how it usually goes for me:
- Meet a guy
- He starts texting/snapping me all the time with him initiating probably like 4 or 5x a day
- We go out on a couple of dates and have a really good times
- I start to like him and have a feeling he feels the same way
- Texting/snapping still happens
- We hookup usually around the 3rd or 4th date
- He gets distant, the communication dwindles or if he does want to talk, it's only about sex
- Everything stops, despite my attempts to get it back on track and I delete them
It's just SO heartbreaking to feel like you have a connection with someone, only to realize they only saw you as a conquest and all of the nice things they said and did were just to get you in bed. There are tons of girls out there who are willing to hook up but why manipulate the ones who clearly want something more? I've cried so many tears over these jerks but it just happens again and again. | what goes through the minds of guys who go on dates with you, only to disappear after sex? Is all of this done on purpose or do they just lose interest and not know why? How can I avoid these people? |
t3_fbg9p | AskReddit | Reddit, could you please suggest ways for me to fight my goal disorientation? | I'm not a very goal-oriented person, and I'm having trouble setting personal goals for myself.
Goals at work I don't have trouble with (I'm a programmer) but on the other hand, goals outside of work that are still related to work seem to elude me. For example, my job is mainly maintaining database and website code and related stuff. Every so often I come up with cool ideas for sites I'd like to build and jot them down. Occasionally I'll even go so far as to start the bare framework of such a site and make scant progress on it, but eventually I get sick of it and let it fall by the wayside.
Could it just be that I'm associating these pet projects too closely with work, thus helping me be less eager about taking them to completion? Do I just need to find ways to separate work from personal projects and persevere?
Any suggestions from those of you who've encountered and conquered similar issues would be greatly appreciated. | How do I motivate myself to work on projects that happen to be in the same field as my 9-5 job? |
t3_4tlgyu | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 11 months, she's too dedicated to study to spend time together but her family absolutely loves me. | We are both university students (studying different degrees but same campus) and i feel that we aren't spending enough time together.
We only catch up occasionally during the week for a coffee or lunch, and i will stay at her parents house every few weekends, which i feel is too little. I have told her this, and her standard response is "i would love to catch up more, but ive been really busy with lab work lately". Additionally, we barely talk online as she is barely on social media (and therefore takes many hours to respond to my texts and facebook messages).
My girlfriend is a very quiet and withdrawn girl who has almost zero experience with any other relationships. She is also a virgin and isn't "ready for anything more than making out". I completely respect her boundaries and wouldn't do anything to make her feel pressured, but im really starting to feel the struggle of having no sexual interaction. A recent serious discussion of this revealed that she has some personal issues to get over first, though she was uncomfortable with sharing with me what they were for whatever reason.
This would seem an obvious issue to resolve except for the fact that her immediate family really like me and think that we are perfect for each other and all is great. Her mum goes out of her way to help me all the time, even with simple things she makes a massive effort to ensure i'm happy.
So what do you think?
* should i wait for some more months until the end of the study year and hope things get better?
**or**
* should i cut my losses with her amazing family and try to find someone else? | Girlfriend too focused on study, not putting in much effort, not interested in anything sexual, but has super nice and caring family who really like me. |
t3_3glnge | legaladvice | washington citizen needs guatemala legal advice | i tried helping a friend with this the last time it came up and now it's come up again.
he is autistic and poor so he doesn't have the social skills to deal with his manipulative family nor the money to hire an attorney. his mom died several years ago and has money and property in guatemala. his family is pressuring him to sign power of attorney to an uncle in guatemala who was part of a scam with other members of their family where they lied (denied that my friend existed) to complete paperwork to take over his mom's home in guatemala.
what are the estate laws in guatemala governing how u.s. residents inherit guatemalan property and a guatemalan bank account? | autistic man living in poverty needs advice/ assistance on handling mom's estate in guatemala (family is trying to manipulate him) |
t3_2qe8zq | offmychest | I really, really want to see the Marvel Cinematic Universe crash and burn | While we're at it, let's lump the upcoming DC movie-verse in with that statement as well.
There are way too many comic book films. But here's the thing: I didn't always think like this. Until 2012, I wasn't this bothered by superhero films. I rode the hype train for the first Avengers film and thoroughly enjoyed the movie at its theatrical release. CA: TFA bored me and I saw nothing redeemable about Iron Man 2, but the other three Phase One flicks were perfectly serviceable. Also, 2012 was when my favorite superhero film series met its mostly-OK conclusion: The Dark Knight Rises.
After that it became really difficult for me to give a shit.
Perhaps that might be because I didn't grow up reading the source material, but is that really such a bad thing? Should I have to be familiar with decades of trashy comics in order to enjoy a fucking movie? I liked the Nolan Batman films more than other comic book-based films because the director approached these projects as films first and comic book adaptations a distant second.
They are MOVIES. They should be for everyone, not just those fanatical neckbeards who will watch literally anything that has the name of their favorite character(s) in the title.
It just bugs me that the studio would lay out a multi-year schedule consisting of more films than I can be bothered to count. That's just tempting fate.
Let's not beat around the bush here...who actually gives a shit about Ant-Man? I'm sure a sizable portion of Reddit does because of the demographic that gets attracted to this site, but I'm talking about the general population.
Most of these films try to cover up a lack of character and story writing with COMIC BOOK CHARACTER NAMES IN CAPITAL LETTERS. And none of these movies would be complete without a climactic aerial battle where a big flying thing shoots a laser beam into the sky.
And the fate of the world depends on the actor of the week fighting their way past CG baddies until they reach the laser-shooting column. There he must activate the Matrix of Infinity or whatever bullshit artifact was in the source comics. | This comic book movie thing has gone on far past the point of me being able to give a fuck. |
t3_4tc7r1 | relationships | Me [21 F] with my manager [50s M], he made a subtle comment about appearance. | I am a female university student in a tech field (computer science). My internship is due to start in September.
My future manager was the one who interviewed and hired me. We have been emailing occasionally since then - he sends me resources to prepare for my internship, answers questions, etc. He seems very easy-going.
What concerns me is something he said in his last email after I mentioned that I was tired: "you should rest, but it's not like you need beauty sleep." He knows what I look like from the interview, and linkedIn/email pictures. I did not address that comment, and left my response brief.
He is much older than me, and has a wife and kids, so I'm not worried about anything funny happening. I'm worried about hearing similar comments in the future, and of course the creeping feeling that I was only hired because I am a girl, not because I deserve the job.
If this ever happens in the future, how should I address it without leading to an uncomfortable confrontation? Should I do anything to address the last comment? Am I overreacting? Was he just being nice? | What to say when much older manager calls you pretty? Being a girl in tech sometimes sucks. |
t3_2ym621 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend[33 M] of 1 year i am being shallow but I dont know if its justified | I love someone but I can't see this going long term because of age and background differences, I am afraid to bring him to meet my family. I'm afraid of what they might think. I'm very conservative. I'm being incredibly shallow, it's embarrassing, but we even get strange looks in public.
We took a break and I was unable to find anyone to replace him, I don't think I can, I think this is it. Sometimes they say you just know.
I feel guilty for posting this, I'm just looking for ...opinions. In the end the choice is my own. | being shallow...What would you do? |
t3_2h40dw | relationships | Me [29 M] with my GF [25 F] 2 years, confessed a fantasy that made her question our relationship. | Posted from a disposable account because I know she visits reddit sometimes.
So here's the story. I thought that it would be a great idea to share a fantasy with my GF of 2 years. That fantasy just so happens to be bimbofication. I've always thought slutty girls were sexy and the. I discovered the bimbofication fantasy online and it has developed into a major fantasy for me.
My GF is really pretty but in a cute girl next door way, completely the opposite of a bimbo. She's also smart and funny, quite an intellectual. We are both professionals and have enjoyed great success in our careers. Yet for some reason I want her to give that all up and become a ditzy blonde bimbo.
Well foolishly I decided to share this with her. Did I really want/expect her to agree to making it happen in real life? Probably not but in the heat of the moment I was horny and I thought that I did. She had no idea what I meant and so I told her my fantasy for her to over time dye her hair blonde, get a pair of ridiculously large fake breasts, fake tan, dress like a stripper, etc. even down to the detail of quitting her job and becoming a hairdresser or a waitress or maybe even a stripper.
Needless to say, she wasn't impressed. Now she thinks I don't love her and that all I see her as is a toy. She also accused me of being a misogynist. She has decided to go and stay at her parents for a few days and she told me I could use that time to decide whether I want to be with her or if I want to date a fake plastic stripper, as she said.
I can't believe I thought it would be a good idea to share that. Am I an idiot or what? I really love this girl and I can see myself marrying her. How do I win her back and convince her that I do respect her (and women in general). I really hope she hasn't told anyone this. | Told my GF I wanted to turn her into a bimbo. She thinks I don't love her and I'm a misogynist. She's staying at her parents. How do I win her back and show her I love/respect her? |
t3_1gz4by | relationships | My (22F) boyfriend (22M) has attempted to look at my Facebook without my permission twice now. What do? | So when he is in a bad state of mind he has these jealous, as he calls them, "trances." The first time he looked at my Facebook messages on my computer when I left the room to go do something one night when we were first dating (like a month in). He told me about it the next day and we discussed it. I decided to give it another chance because the relationship was awesome in pretty much every other respect, including honesty.
Things went well and now we have been dating for 7 months. He is off visiting his family now but he messaged me this morning saying that he had logged in to my Facebook yesterday because I had taken an exceptionally long time to respond to his last message and he was paranoid. He said he didn't look at anything (frankly I don't care if he did. There's nothing I wouldn't want him seeing, but it bothers me that he decided to look anyway), and just felt bad and logged back out immediately.
However, I got a notification that someone had tried to log into my Facebook that morning (must have been him), but also that evening. He did not mention the second time. That would have been after I had responded to him.
I have talked about this with him and my concerns are that, while I want this to work, I don't want to be a pushover. I understand it can be easy to be a pushover when you are really into the person you are dating (been there enough for sure), but seriously, this is the only problem we've had in our relationship. I am still waiting for his response (I can only communicate with him through Facebook because he is abroad right now), but he wasn't entirely honest with me about how many times he tried to log in and I fear that, even if he doesn't plan to do it again, like he says, he'll lose respect for me anyway if I decide to stay with him. What does /r/relationships think? | Boyfriend snooped through my Facebook messages twice, told me each time, but didn't tell me the whole story the most recent time. Relationship is great other than this one thing. What do I do? |
t3_34srqa | relationships | My [20F] boyfriend [23M] of 2 years is late to everything - how do I handle constant tardiness? | Alright, so my boyfriend is always late for everything. For instance, yesterday we had plans to see a play, and we set a time for him to pick me up. Of course I was ready a little early because I don't like to keep people waiting. He let me know about ten minutes later that he was still on his way. I kept waiting for thirty minutes until I gave up and left. He called and apologized, but this happens all the time. Every time he's late he says he's sorry and is working on it. I don't know what this means.
His being late has led to many arguments between us which mostly consist of me telling him I'm upset and then he telling me that he's working on it. What hurts is that I feel he doesn't see it worth the effort to be on time to meet me. From what he tells me, he's usually late to work and to meet his friends, and just about everything so I know it's not just me who notices his constant tardiness and it's just how he is.
I love him, and everything else between us is great. I just wish he would be on time. | He is always late and leaves me feeling disrespected. |
t3_40t7kl | offmychest | It's crazy when PMS and weed strike together | I've noticed how i get INSANELY horny even at the slightest trigger during my PMS. And as a fairly regular weed user, I know how getting a high makes you feel everything on a larger-than-usual scale.
So this morning, I lit up a nice huge joint and tripped balls. I literally twitched in my room for 10 minutes and talked to myself about how I should do a google search on this later. Anyway.
So my thoughts have scattered and I'm thinking of all the things I want to do. I play some music and voila! It happens to be THE SEXIEST SONG ever (Love reign o'er me).
Slowly the clothes came off. and the next thing I know, I'm on chatroulette. Chatting up random guys.
Topless.
15 minutes and 10 guys later, I began to feel mighty uncomfortable, because of how skanky I was behaving.
Then this courier guy rang the doorbell to deliver my package. I quickly threw my tee back on and answered the door. And I saw him checking my legs out. I took the package, thanked him and shut the door. ANd fantasised about how it'd be if I offered him a quickie. Or maybe ask him to suck my titties (I love that). I was super close to running back to the door and asking him to do me a favour..
That's it. I'm all sober now. Just had my fill of porn for the day. My period started a while ago, so I hope this bloodlust wanes out in time hahaha.
Just wanted to get it off my chest, that I can get decadent and so out-of-character when my hormones are ruling my head and my mind is going off tangent faster than I can comprehend. | Got horny and high. Became a total skank. |
t3_2ou2yv | needadvice | Should I Spend My Money | So I am 15 years old, and I have a decent wad of money saved up from running game servers online (around $500, made it all by myself). I am also a big fan of playing video games, however, I am in a bit of a dilemma. I really enjoy this online game, I've played it since I was a little kid. I have the chance to buy an account in the game with all of the skills maxed out, which would save me thousands of hours. However, it would cost $250 + about $130 worth of in game currency which I also earned myself. Is it worth it? I love the game and would love to have the account but I don't want to regret anything. I hardly play any other games and I am a big fan of this game... Should I? Please give good advice not just "no video games are a waste." | should I spend $250 on a game (my own money I earned) |
t3_3tooqa | relationships | Is the grass really greener on the other side or what? 22 year old male 26 year old female | I've been in a relationship full of ups and downs the last two years some odd months. Things were wonderful for the first 6 months until I was accused of cheating, another when I actually made the poor decision of cheating. I can give you details if you're interested enough.
I came clean and we continued seeing eachother for awhile-even lived together until her lease ended and had to move back home 3.5 hours away when we decided to continue distance. Even ater everything we've always managed to "love" each other and care for one another like we have for quite some time at the end of the day even if we made each other crazy (even to the point where she would even turn down guys hitting on her when her friend would come down there and they got out) had always managed to tread through our problems and come to a fair compromise and would see each other as much as we could, which was often until around early September she lost her job where she was a manager at a pacsun which she thought she was going to be doing for her career and I took her in and let her stay with me for almost two months all inclusive-even paid for her break repair on her car. | Her family loves me, they still stay in contact, her friends like me with the exception of the two who she talked to before she went back home, whom aren't really in any position to give her accurate advice. Anyway, she left around mid October and left me with "I need to find myself" now she's in California having all of her stuff paid for having fun at their expense. What am I missing here? |
t3_p03jk | relationships | Boyfriend talks to former crush more than he talks to me.....?!? | 22yof and 22yom dating for 2 years
Here's the deal: my bf had a crush on this girl, let's call her Apple. He told me about this crush while he was drunk one night. Not the best way to bring up the topic, but we worked it out. He said he was already over her and felt so bad he just had to tell me.
Skip forward to about 6 months later. Apple has become a mutual friend. She is well known for her reputation at attracting boys, but I trust her because she's my friend.
Skip forward to today, when my bf borrowed my laptop, he left his facebook open and I couldn't help but noticing his messages between him and Apple. We had been talking recently about needing more space (which I was fine with and respected), but I noticed that he had been talking to her via facebook message quite a lot. By a lot, I mean he said more to her over the course of one day than he did to me over the course of 3. (I didn't really wast my time reading exactly what was said, more like a glancing look enough to notice the high number of messages and the dates on them)
Overall, I am very happy with the relationship. He says that he is happy, and has never had trouble addressing issues before. We've always had great communication. Should I be worried, or is this just friends? | bf of 2 years talking to mutual friend/former crush much more than me. Worry? |
t3_38hrde | relationship_advice | I'm (20/m) gay and I have a huge crush on one of my friends, who I suspect is gay. What do I do? | I'm from a pretty progressive family, my mother has always been supportive of me no matter what. I have a friend that I've known for some years, but never really had any intimate conversations with. I've never once seen him with a woman or a man, but whenever I'm around him, I get these really strong sexual attractions and I get the feeling that he does too. I know the old adage is to not date your friends or fuck them, becuase that only ends poorly, but we have a huge amount in common and w/e. I'm just really apprehensive to say or do anything because I don't know if he's really gay or not, and I don't want to ostracize myself from our group of friends by thinking he is and then being terribly wrong. Does anyone know what I should do to proceed with this? I've had a few drinks, and that's why I've come to ask Reddit what to do, but I know better than to just ask him if he's gay because I don't want to lose my friends if he's not. I know that sounds fucked up, and I'm sure plenty of people will say they're not really my friends if they ignore me because of that, but I don't know how to explain the fact that I'm scared. | idk if my longtime friend is gay, but I am really attracted to him and I want to find out. help please? |
t3_esj55 | AskReddit | Would a Reddit dating/meeting up sub section or website work? | It seems like there are loads of like minded people on reddit who could eventually meet up. I guess the information would be in your profile and have some sort of system where it would match you with other potential 'like minded' redditors (could be based on nearest location, same interests etc.).
It just seems to me that there is a lot of potential in this as at times some people feel lonely or lost, unaware that many other redditors are out there that they could immediately relate to what they're feeling. Or never meet the right person, who could very well be on reddit, asking himself/herself the same question.
Reddit seems to help more people than any site I've been on and it seems a shame for a community that has so much in common, never to actually meet up.
I don't know this could already exist/ or not even be practical in the first place. | Is there a way for redditors to all meet up? |
t3_1nqg52 | relationships | My boyfriend M27 lied to me F26 about how much money he makes, should I be mad? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year, and I knew he was making a lot of money. He has an MBA from Harvard, and works as a business consultant and I knew he made a lot of money but I didn't realize how much.
I thought he was making around 135,000 a year, which is what he told me, but it turns out he was making CONSIDERABLY more than that. When I realized this I confronted him and he told me that he didn't want me to like him for his money. How would you guys react? Do I have a right to be angry? | Boyfriend is making more than 5 times what he told me he was and lied because he didn't want me to like him for his money. |
t3_43izfo | relationships | Me [19/M] dumped by [18/F] while I'm deployed | My now ex-gf and I had been dating for a couple months before I had been sent overseas. Everything seemed to be doing fine until this past Saturday she decided to break things off. I had no say in the event and now I'm pretty torn up. She had said that it was because of the distance that she didn't see it working out, I'm in Korea she's in Georgia. But after going on to her social media pages, it's because she's found another guy. I'm not sure how to react. She has since blocked me on Twitter. I haven't tried to contact her since the whole ordeal. I also recently received her Christmas gifts to me which are pretty expensive. What should I do? | dumped by gf because she found another guy |
t3_34it69 | dating_advice | (21F) I'm going on my first date ever... | So I don't know about other people, but when I was 16, in marching band, and hanging out with the person I liked everyday at school, we accumulated enough bonding time in school to decide to be gf/bf. So I guess we had never been on a real date?
That was five years ago, and newly single me was invited to get drinks. The guy is someone I enjoyed sharing small talk with in class months ago, but I had pushed away because I was happily taken. I thought I would never see him again, but a few weeks after I was broken up with I saw him in a coffee shop! What luck! Fast forward another week, he asked me to get drinks today. I'm so excited, but also TERRIFIED.
I have no idea what to do, to say, or if this is even a date! What kind of questions do people enjoy on a first date? Does the fact that we're getting drinks mean he has some sort of expectations? What kind of drink should I even get without looking a fool? Should I get tastefully tipsy? What do I do if he seems to feel bored or uncomfortable? What if I'm uncomfortable? | Encourage me to go on my first real date. |
t3_24xk4h | relationships | Me [20M] with my GF [19F] of Six months.. We both agree that our relationship feels like"best friends with benefits"... | So the both of us have agreed that we both feel like our relationship feels like best friends with benefits.. We have been dating very strongly for six months, and have had our problems here or there (me getting depressed from loss of job, her dealing with Finals and her mother having Cancer surgery (she is recovering now), communication issues and miss-communication (working on the two of thoes), but have and are making it though all of them.
But this BFF w/ Benefits thing is no good. I personally feel like the solid connection we had is dwindling. I know the past few weeks have been rough with her moms surgery and finals and the communication issues we have been having all inbetween this, but I still dont know how to feel about it. We both agree that we are still good together, and do not want to break up, but we NEED to fix this in order for us to remain together.
SO I am asking you, Reddit, what are some things we both can do to help remedy this? We have already planned that once a week is official Date Night, and we have some small things planned for the next month (star gazing, maybe a night at a hotel away from friends and family etc.)
So whats your advice? | Relationship feels like Friends w/ Benefits. Need advice on how to remedy this. |
t3_1iuzfq | relationships | I [22F] need some advice about moving on. | I very recently went through a breakup that really hit me hard. It was my first serious relationship, I really cared about him deeply, and after seven great months I guess I wasn't expecting him to break it off so easily.
There wasn't a whole lot of closure or explanation on his side, and his actions point to him being pretty much set on completely cutting me out of his life wherever possible. So I've found myself replaying everything that happened, constantly wondering what I could have done better, thinking about things I should have/could have said, trying to figure out what I could have possibly done to make him hate me all of a sudden, etc etc. It's getting to the point where it's distracting me from functioning normally, making me space out (and nearly cry) at work, and it's causing a major creative block on my end (I'm an artist).
Does Reddit have any good tips about how to start moving on and accept that this is over for good? I would really appreciate any advice on that front. | Breakup hit me really hard, need to stop focusing on it in order to get on with my life, any tips? |
t3_1wpdl9 | loseit | I am trying to build a program for February using MOSSA videos for Xbox One. Any advice is welcomed! | Hi /r/loseit, I have somehow found myself the sole active moderator over at /r/XboxFitness , and I need some advice in crafting a routine for what has swelled to over 150 people! (When I started it was like 30 people, now that the membership is large... I want to get it right).
The single most requested feature was a "schedule" (I had simply been posting my workouts for others to follow or not). So I started planning my weeks videos out...
**What is Xbox Fitness?**
Xbox Fitness is an app on xbox that "Game-ifies" various exercise DVDs with the Kinect camera, giving users points for reps, holding their form, etc. etc.
**What the community has done**
In January we started a "January with Jillian Michaels" program. We started with "Ripped in 30" on MWF and "Extreme Shed and Shred" on TuTh(Sa). Some people even added Kickboxing to MWF to get an hour's worth of fitness in. These tapes (ooh, dating myself), are all cross training. That is, they all have some weight training, cardio, and bodyweight fitness, and some abs.
**The Problem with February**
This is where Im seeking advice. The members of /r/XboxFitness have expressed interest in using the MOSSA selections for February. MOSSA divides cardio from weightlifting from abs into 3 separate 30 min routines. The MOSSA selections are
* Core 1 30min
* Core 2 30min
* Fight 1 30min
* Fight 2 30min
* Groove 1 30min
* Power 1 30min
* Power 2 30min
Would there be a significant advantage to dividing the days by type (ie MWF = 2x fight videos for an hour of cardio & TuThSa 2x Power videos for an hour of lifting)? Or for this kind of exercise, would it be better to mix a power and fight video each day? How often would you recommend the 30 min abs? Would it be better to have shorter power or cardio when adding an abs video? | Im the moderator for /r/XboxFitness and Im trying to design a workout for 150 pple using the MOSSA selections available. Your input is solicited! |
t3_3npw99 | relationships | 18f friend cuddled with me 23 M hell is going on? | Known her about a month. Pretty girl, and she came and hung out at my dorm and got drunk with me. She showed me her nipple piercing and we massaged each other. And talked about our insecurities. Smoked hookah and drank basically then she said let's go to the beach tomorrow morning and cuddled with me in bed and slept. She said she liked being with me because she could do whatever without feeling pressured to bang. But I can't help but feel I was the one friendzonING a girl that might be interested in me. There were no signs that she was inherently interested. But showing me her tits and then going to the beach with me the next morning? What are your thoughts? She's got social anxiety but she's not stupid. She knew her surroundings the whole time. And she held my hand while we slept. Confused. But at the same time I'm happy to just be friends.
To add she was talking about one particular guy and asking for my help. But the week before she had a mental breakdown because her roommates were not actually her friend. Then she asked to come over to my place and she felt better when I held her to comfort her. Can't tell if she's interested in the slightest or if she's just so comfortable in my company that she can do whatever. | I'm thinking too much about this chick. And whether her cuddling means anything or not. |
t3_x7nvm | AskReddit | Of all my throwaways this will probably be the one to make it to the font page. Reddit knows, how exactly do you go soapless? | Ok reddit, the site that has turned me into a hippie, how exactly *do* you go soapless? Of the many changes I've been going through recently, I've been shampoo/soapless for about 2 months now. My lifestyle has been shifting a lot towards what I would probably call naturalism or something like that if I'd have to give it a name. So basically my showers are pretty much even longer know that I don't use any bathing products, since I spend more time scrubbing with my bare hands and just water. I scrub for a long time until I remove all the oils. Since I am still getting oily and all that, I haven't noticed much change (I have always had manageable body odors and sweat, or not much at all), I just barely realized that am I *supposed* to leave the oils there? Isn't that the point of gong no soapless? But I would still feel dirty if I just rinse through water and leave all the "ick" on my body, not to mention (I still live at home) that my family would freak out if they caught me doing this. So reddit, are you supposed to just rinse body with water but not scrub so vigorously and intensely as to remove all body oils through rough and rugged scrubbing? Because I do still sweat, just not very much (I have never really sweated very much) but even just through regular going-through-the-day activities, like sitting uncomfortably in the heat or something. I know that reddit will help me solve this because this is the kind of random "hippie" associated lifestyle that reddit happens to excel in. So I would really appreciate whatever type of information and feedback you all can offer on this matter. Thank you very much. | When you go soapless, you still leave the body oils right? Just thought of this. I have been scrubbing it all down still (2months no soap) and haven't noticed much change (always had manageable sweat/bo). |
t3_24kqn1 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my Friends [21 F] generally trying to get them to pay me back. | I have this general problem with my friends trying to get them to pay me back. Sometimes we go out to dinner or go on a grocery shopping trip. We are all in college so generally we pay separately, but sometimes depending on the situation we pay together.
I have a hard time trying to figure out when to remind my friends they need to pay me back. Generally I don't think that its my responsibility to remind people what debts they owe to people. We are all in college and should be able to keep track of our expenses right? However, it seems like when I do remind them they complain that I should have reminded them before. (Generally, I remind them once very soon to when they borrowed the money and then just wait for them to pay me back. I only ask them again if I think the length of time is getting insane).
Should I remind them more often? How do I remind people with out being annoying or them getting upset at me? Should I just no longer pay together for anything? | How do I get people to pay me back in a timely fashion? |
t3_1czw9u | loseit | Another cardio question... | Howdy all!
So, I'm on day two in a row of actually going to the gym (wahoo) although this may seem small, this is the start of me ACTUALLY working out.. or trying to.
My question about cardio is this:
So, when I'm tossin' bows on the fancy treadmill at my gym, it tells me lovely things like heart rate, distance, time, etc. One thing it tells me, of course, is calories burned (which I know is most likely estimated and what not) So, I've kinda set my goal per day as 2.5 miles, which I do at an average of 3.9mph (the fancy machine told me so). My question is, at the end of my workout it tells me I have burned around 155 calories.
Now this information is disheartening, as you all know, everyone likes to focus on calories. So, should I be sad that I am only burning a measly 155 calories a workout, or is there some secret the fancy machine is keeping from me. (Like the concentration camp party it's throwing for my belly fat) OR.... am I walking 2.5 miles just for those 155 calories :/ | Should I focus on calories burned during cardio, or smack myself in the face for being sad my workouts are burning only 155 calories (est.) a pop. |
t3_1b34wl | needadvice | I have been delaying an inevitably bad time... | Backstory:
One of my best friends' brother got married a few months ago. Before the wedding he asked me if I would mind filming their wedding for them. I have somewhat of a technical background and they explained that they did not want/need anything fancy so I agreed. I advised them I had never done anything like this before but I would for them no problem. They provided a camera and we discussed it at the rehearsal. It was all decided and was very straight forward. In return they offered me a handfull of drink tickets for the night but mostly I was doing it as a favour for them.
Problem:
I missed the ceremony. When I say I missed the ceremony, I mean I was out partying with everyone from the wedding the night before and stayed up too late and got up too early. After breakfast I laid down for a nap and did not wake up until a friend called after the ceremony was over.
I did follow through with the rest of the night. I went to the speeches and the dance and even got some classic "do you have anything to say to the newly wed's" clips. I have some great shots and am currently editing a video for them of what I do have BUT... I still have not told them that I do not have footage of the ceremony at all. And they are really getting anxious to see this and am not sure how to break it to them.
They are also asking for the raw footage tomorrow! Just because they want to see it. I have no idea what their reactions will be or how to go about this situation I have got myself into. | I was supposed to film a wedding, missed the ceremony (but not the dance/speeches), have been "editing" the video for a couple months and am not sure how to break it to them. |
t3_prj6p | relationships | I am interning in NY over the summer shes interning in FL. We are sophomores in college a the moment. | Hey guys,
Dating since November 2011
So to add more to the title we are in a really good relationship at the moment. And to be honest this is my first real one, while she is more experienced. Anyways we are both working in different states over the summer and then returning to college as juniors, working the same job as RAs. Any tips on surviving the summer?
I am really concerned because she interned last year and from what she's been telling me she basically partied non stop on weekends and this is making me uncomfortable. She also broke up with her boyfriend last summer and started dating some total asshole there because she was really lonley and couldn't do long distance. I'm not really the jelaous type and want her to have fun, but I dont want to loose her. She is probably not going to cheat since that is seriously against her morals after her parents suffered a bad divorce due to cheating. | How to survive long distance over summer for a college couple? |
t3_o7176 | AskReddit | Is it possible to get Dual Citizenship through marriage? (HELP!) | This has left me scratching my head for some time now.
I'm getting married in August. I'm a U.S. Citizen and he's from Ireland. We won't be getting citizenships right away because we plan on travelling and going to grad school first. Neither of us wants to give up our original citizenship obviously, but that would mean going back and forth with just a green card maybe?
Is it possible to be both a citizen of the US and Ireland through marriage?
My fiance doesn't really care all too much because the job market in the US is shit and he's fine with just a green card. But we're planning on possibly getting a job somewhere in Europe (Southern France hopefully) and it might affect me if I'm not an Irish citizen like him. This will mean that I'll be the jobless free-loader wife and that's completely not me.
I guess I'm just not sure what to do in this situation. Does anyone have any knowledge about how this works? Maybe some tips if Dual Citizenship is not possible? | US Citizen marrying an Irishman. Can we both get dual citizenships or can we just live off of green cards travelling back and forth? |
t3_f5g0r | AskReddit | Braces Dilemma. Need advice from anyone who has, has had braces, or even thought of getting braces. | I have always hated my teeth. I'm not talking "Boo hoo 2 of my teeth are a little crooked" or "I have a gap on the left side of my mouth....waaaahhh". No, I mean, my mouth looks like a train wreck. Gaps, crookedness, overbite, saber tooth; you name it, I've got it. There isn't a photo of me where I'm not smiling with my mouth closed, and I can't remember a time where I could laugh without covering my mouth. Most people, my boyfriend included, see it as simply a cosmetic issue that should be overlooked. It has been the major cause of my self esteem issues, which have led to depression, self mutilation, and eating disorders. It does affect my life and I desperately want to change it. I had medicaid growing up (I'm 18 now, so it expires in July) and they don't cover any sort of orthodontic treatment because it is considered plastic surgery, so I was never able to afford them. My boyfriend and I are saving up for an apartment so I don't want to dip into our savings too much for an "unnecessary" procedure. I've been looking at lingual braces (those that go behind your teeth) and I am worried about the cost and the duration of treatment. My boyfriend says without my teeth the way they are it would take away from my personality, take away part of the girl he started dating. I'm not sure if I should go through no matter the cost, or despite my loathing attitude towards them, accept that they'll always be like that. | I'm not sure if I should spend the money on braces, or save money and deal with my hideous teeth the way they are. |
t3_22u5ej | self | I watched a person pick out a Fedora with his mom today | So I work at a certain retail store. A young man, maybe 19-20 years old, fairly chubby, bad hair cut and all around poorly maintained. He was extremely shy and his mom did all the talking. He was beta. I wanted to tell him soooooo badly that the decision he was about to make was going to make things difficult for him. But I know that it wasn't my judgment to make. He's going going to have to learn for himself. I know it's not my place to make that judgment either. Who am I to make this point? Why am I any better? Well I'm not. So fuck it. | I witnessed the birth of a betafag. |
t3_554oif | relationships | My husband [24M] wants to join a college fraternity, and I [24F] do not know how to react. | A bit about me - I'm a 24 year old female who graduated from community college 4 years ago. I have working since then to raise money to pay for tuition, housing, textbooks, car and some entertainment (PS4, Xbox one, Wii U, TV). I met my husband at the end of high school, right after we broke up with our exes. We married 2 years later, after i finished community college. My husband is 24, and got out of the Marines. We will attend the same college, and the Marines will pay my husband's tuition and housing. We have no kids.
One of the counselors in the Marines suggested my husband to join a fraternity in college. He likes the idea of it. He wants to have people to work out with, play video games with, and to study with. He is deciding between a service fraternity and a social fraternity. I am not too easy with this and have a few questions.
1. If he joins a social fraternity, what are the chances he will cheat on me with a sorority girl? I trust him, but don't trust the people he will be with. Hollywood movies like Animal House and Neighbors 2 don't help either.
2. If he joins the service fraternity, he will have to hang out with his high school ex (who followed my plan to go to community college and work to pay for tuition and housing). How can he avoid contact with her?
3. How much time will he have to spend time with me, while he joins and pledges a fraternity? He will be working and taking classes, and I don't want this to tear us apart.
4. He is suggesting me to join a sorority if he joins a social fraternity. What the hell is that? Do sorority chicks cheat on their partners? I don't want to be affiliated with them. How will I
5. The service fraternity is coed. He is suggesting me to join that with him. But both our exes are in that fraternity. How can we avoid our exes? Since they both are officers in that fraternity, we will have to interact with them.
Thanks Reddit! | husband wants to join a fraternity and is deciding between a social and a service fraternity. I am not easy with that decision. What can I do? |
t3_fs96h | AskReddit | Reddit - can anyone help me? | So I am currently working with another architecture student in a joint studio and was planning on modeling the site design in Rhino. However, my partner gave me his building footprint Autocad file which he had created on an Educational Version of Autocad 2010 (whereas I had created my Autocad dwg files on a Licensed version of Autocad 2010).
Subsequently, when I imported his Educational Version DWG into my Licensed Version DWG - my file is now read as an Educational Version. And now - whenever I go to open the DWG file in Rhino I keep receiving an error message saying Rhino cant open the file & this: "Some information such as proxy objects that may be present in AutoCAD files will not be imported by Rhino." | Can't import/open Educational Version Autocad DWG in Rhino |
t3_4qewl2 | relationships | My (23F) LD guy (28M) thinks that some sexual stuff I did were disgusting and said that he isn't sure if he can kiss me. | We have been chatting for 4 months now and I had plans to see him in August. I bought plane ticket. Things were good. I have more sexual experience, which wasn't hard to have because he has almost none. We talked about sex and he mentioned rim job. I said sure, no problem, I can do it. He asked if I did it before, I said yes. He said thing from the title 'It is disgusting, I am not even sure if I can kiss you now.' This was few days ago and he didn't reply on my last message.
Hour ago, he contacted me again and I don't know what is good response. He was nice and funny. I enjoyed chatting with him (a lot!), but I cooled off and I am not interested in someone who acts like this. Or maybe his reaction wasn't big deal? Maybe it has something to do with lack of sexual experience? I usually pick guys who are open to new experiences and they never commented that something is disgusting.
Maybe little info about me so that you have some perspective. I had 4 sex partners. I guess that craziest what I did are rim jobs (I am not into bdsm, orgies, any kind if fetishes...) I tried that with my last boyfriend. When I mentioned rim job he was like puppy when someone holds a cookie. So I decided to try it and it was great, very simple and easy. He had big dick (20cm) so blow jobs were hard work for someone lazy like me. He was also very giving in bed and I was happy that I can satisfied him. Seeing him pleased made me very pleased too. | my long distance guy thinks that rim jobs are disgusting. I did that before. He has been ignoring me for few days, but hour ago he sent me a message. What now? |
t3_1kypxw | relationship_advice | My ex [f/23] broke it off with me [m/20] to be independent. More details inside. | So my ex has had a hard time in the past trying to feel comfortable with herself and being able to emotionally support herself. She ended the relationship to try and find it in herself to become happy and stable alone. I love her and am proud of her doing this but don't want it to end completely. We have to live together still so I see her every day. Any advice for me to help her know that I still want to be together but also give her the space and everything else she needs? Isn't there a difference between alone and independent? | Ex wants to be independent, broke up, still live together. |
t3_3ns7kx | relationships | Me [22F] with [25M] - Dating for about a month, he suddenly 180s it and "just wants to be friends" | So, for the past month, I've been seeing "Drake" (25m). Things were going great. We met through a mutual friend, and since he got my number, we haven't stopped talking. He's sweet and smart. He's a super busy guy who goes to school, and works, and plays in a band 5 nights a week, but he still made time to see me 3 or 4 times a week. He wasn't pushing for anything too fast (waited until like our 4th date to kiss me) and I was starting to think like, yeah, hey, this is someone I could be with who wouldn't make me want to stab myself in the gut.
About a week ago, after a particularly nice afternoon alone (We both live with our parents right now as he's in school and i just graduated so privacy isn't always a thing) I texted him something along the lines of: "hey, I just wanted to be honest about something. I don't sleep with anyone I'm not in a relationship with." I just didn't want him to have any false expectations about where things were heading. He said he understood.
We had plans for Saturday night, and he sent me a quick text asking to call him when I got the chance. We played phone tag for a couple hours before he called me. He told me flat out he just wants to be friends, but he totally still wants to hang out that night and he wants to still be able to check in on me. (I have a recent knee injury that he's been really sweet about helping me tend to). I told him no thanks, I didn't want to go out that night anymore and we hung up.
So basically reddit, what the hell. Did I fuck up by saying the word "relationship?" I put off even bringing it up because I was afraid he'd think I wanted to date immediately when I LOVED taking things at a turtle's pace. There were just no warning signs about this whatsoever. I have no idea what's going on. | I said the word "relationship" after a month and the guy I was dating lowkey headed for the hills. |
t3_tia0l | loseit | My appetite is changing, concerned about calorie intake. | I'm female, 25, 140 pounds. A couple years ago I used to be 125 pounds. When I weighed that much I didn't eat too much and I was moderatly active. My guess is that I ate around 1000 calories a day. Now that I'm eating healthier foods that make me fuller longer, I'm not as hungry. Yesterday I ate about 950 calories and I really didn't feel hungry for more. I know that eating too little calories can be bad for your weight loss (and your health). Is it okay to eat under my calories intake goal of 1200 a couple times a week? | Is it okay to eat under my calorie goal of 1200 a couple times a week? Or will that slow down my weight loss? |
t3_3e4xbx | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, he's a realy good guy but I'm not sure about the relationship | We are each other's first real relationship and everything seems to be going just fine. We both live with our parents and see eachother on the weekends. We have ALOT of mutual interests. Everytime one of us find a new hobbie the other one instantly like it. We are studying for the same degree but in different university and we have the same goals and values in life. We both want kids, a house in a city we both like, we think the same about mariage etc.
The issue is, that I don't know if he is "The one". I mean he is such a good guy and he is so sweet with me. He's understanding, responsible, clean, good listener, he surprises me alot with gifts, he's always kissing/hugging etc. In addition we have alot in common so we almost never fight and never have to compromise over activities or other things....but I just have a doubt. I dont know if it's the fact that I've never had a relationship before him so I can't compare.
Sometimes I do find him boring. I wish he could be more outgoing with a better sense of humour and be more charismatic. He doesn't talk alot. He is more like the typical geek that talks alot when the discussion is about video games/internet/movies but remains silent when the discussion goes in other subjects. So it can be kind of awkward when we are with my friends or my family that aren't geek at all.
I talked to him about this issue. He said that it's just the way he is and he doesn't feel comfortable doing small talks about things he doesnt care.
I just don't know what to think... Should I let this great guy go and maybe regret it afterward? am I too picky? Does a relationship should be exciting even after 3 years? | Boyfriend is amazing but he is a typical introverted geek. Even if we share alot of interests I'm bored. It makes me doubt about the relationship. |
t3_2txdvk | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [19M] of almost 3 years having issues with communication, near breaking point. | This is my first post on Reddit, so bear with me.
I have been dating my boyfriend seriously for almost three years. Up until recently, it's been an amazing relationship with nothing to worry about. Our parents are on board and we're in it for the long run. Unfortunately, what I thought would last a lifetime is starting to fall apart around me, and I don't know what to do about it.
About a week ago, we fought. Of course, couples fight, no big deal. This fight was different. It almost ended the relationship I thought I would be in until I died, and I'm not sure how to bounce back from it.
Communication is a huge problem for us. Ever since our relationship started 3 years ago, we've been texting constantly. The texting is the thing that makes what would have been nothing, something.
This time, I, being a typical girl, overreacted about something stupid, and the fight kept getting deeper and deeper until it was about something completely different, but still important to me.
After talking things through, we decided to stop texting completely. We call each other at least once a day, and we attempt to Skype whenever possible (although the Skype thing hasn't happened yet). Both of our schedules are semi-busy, so that doesn't help.
I'm someone that, when someone upsets me, it's extremely hard to get over it and act like everything is fine. He is somebody that tries to forgive and forget right away. They say opposites attract, but I think we may have reached our breaking point, no matter how hard we try to prevent it.
My boyfriend is also very unmotivated. I worry about his future (which is also my future) to the point where I become a "mother" to him. | I have issues with communication and my boyfriend has issues getting motivated. What advice can I give him to become motivated? What can I do to get over arguments quickly? |
t3_dntep | AskReddit | My roommate has placed our wifi router outside his windows to protect himself from the "radiation". How can I convince him that this is a silly notion? | I recently purchased a nice little wireless router for out apartment so we can enjoy the freedom of using the internet on the toilet. For several reasons, I set up the router in his bedroom. After the internet stopped working earlier today, I went to his room to check the router to find it hanging outside the window in our 7th floor apartment (the ethernet cable came loose). I put things in order and placed the router inside. Later, I find my roommate very upset about my moving of the router. He told me that I trying to kill him with the "radiation" from the router. We agreed to move the router tomorrow, once I buy an extension cord, so this is not a problem. Though I am bothered by the fact that he may actually think i am trying to hurt him with the "radiation". What can I say to this kind of individual? He is an intelligent man and quite reasonable beyond this "radiation" problem. | Roommate thinks I am trying to kill him with radiation from a wireless router. How can I get him to know the truth? |
t3_2fd0oq | relationships | I [23 M] has feeling for my friend's Ex [24f] and trying to get over her and move on since the circumstances is complicated. What do I do? | My good friend (23M) (been friends since HS) and his ex (friends for about a year) have recently broken up and I have liked her couple months. I am good friends with both parties and I had developed feelings for my friend's ex over time. I see that we are very compatible and have same interests. I just feel it's impossible for me to tell her because she just got out of the relationship with my friend. Let alone I don't know how my friend would feel about me trying date his ex. Plus I think she needs some time off from dating. I know I shouldn't say anything but feelings have been developing for a while and I feel like im gonna explode. The worse part I have been comforting her after the breakup which makes me have stronger feelings for her. I just want to get over her, should I slowly stop talking to her and defriend her eventually. It's hard being close with both friends and I am literally in the middle of the breakup / situation. At the same time, I said I will still be friends with her even if they ever break up and I don't want to seem like a liar. I'm just frustrated that I can't tell how I feel so I can get rejected and move on or progress depending on her reaction. Shes already a not emotionally stable and this would make it worse. The timing and situation is way off. If there was any chance this relationship was going to happen, it would be like 3-4 years down the road. | I have feelings for my friend's ex and the situation is impossible for me to date her or tell her how I feel. How do I get over her? |
t3_2p5znc | relationships | I [18M] love my girlfriend [18F] of 2.5 years, but I can't see us being together in the long term. | Hey guys, I'm a first year in college right now and I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 and a half years now. Before my girlfriend and I started going out, we were pretty much best friends. Although we didn't have a lot of things in common, it was easy for us to talk and laugh with one another which was great. Throughout these years I've known her, I'm always really comfortable around her and would tell her anything.
Recently we got into an argument and we realized how much we were different from one another. Throughout our relationship, there were petty differences such as food and music, but after that argument, I realized it was much more than that. Our values are different. After the talk, she dropped the bomb of "do you see us being together in the long run?" and I said yes and that was the end of that night around 2 weeks ago.
After that night, everything has been normal. We still talk a lot and text a lot. But that question she asked that night has been in the back of my mind every single day because I'm not sure if "yes" was exactly the right answer. I'm afraid that if I end things with her, I'm not only just going to lose my girlfriend, I'm going to be losing my best friend as well. She has given me so much in this relationship and has really changed my life for the better. Not to mention that she was also my first kiss, first girlfriend, and a first for many other things if you know what I mean ;)
So yeah, I don't exactly know what to do in this situation. Do I love her? Yes, I do but I don't know... I have the feeling that she loves me A LOT more than I love her. Is this just some "phase" I'm going through because we've been going out for so long? Is it because I'm in college and I'm surrounded by so many new people? I don't know... please give me some advice and help me out here. | Realized my longterm girlfriend and I have a lot of differences and I'm not sure I see myself being with her in the long-long-run. |
t3_511o8z | legaladvice | Washington DC, USA: Ex-manager defrauded a charity. If he's convicted/pleads guilty, will some of the fine be restitution? | I work at a consignment shop that funds a charity. A couple of months ago I received a tip that our manager, who had been at the shop for about 12 years, had been committing fraud for almost that long. My tipster gave me a flash drive filled with evidence, which I used to prepare an info packet, which I sent to the home office.
The manager's crimes were of a few different types:
1. He misappropriated funds that belonged to the charity in order to purchase expensive items from the shop.
2. He created fake accounts to sell his own items, and perhaps items that had been donated to the shop, at terms extremely favorable to him; in some cases he took 100% of the proceeds. He thus committed check fraud by then cashing the checks for these non-existent consignors. He once used the name of a friend of his, thus forging her signature and impersonating her.
3. He sometimes would simply remove the sales tax from the transaction, thus committing tax fraud.
He was quickly fired, and the investigations are almost done. A few different committees will meet later this month, and the Board of Directors has the final say on how to proceed.
So, people at the charity would like to recover what was taken, on top of what the higher-ups had to spend on investigations and such. They are also concerned with preventing this from happening to any other non-profit, because as of right now the ex-manager is apparently telling people that he quit because of conflicts with the home office. He could probably get another, similar job, and nobody would be the wiser. It's critical for our charity to save its reputation, because that affects nearly everything.
Apparently a civil suit will be unlikely, since it would cost much more in legal costs and forensic investigation than the charity could ever recover. However, it won't cost them anything to file a police report.
So, | Since sentences for fraud/embezzlement often include a fine, can we be sure that some/all of this fine will constitute restitution to the wronged party? |
t3_3ixibr | relationships | My friend [20 F] often brings up breaking up with her boyfriend, my friend, [20 M]? | I have known both for two years.
I had always assumed their relationship was perfect and that her bringing up breaking up was just a passing thought, sort of a joke.
I am unsure how to explain. I usually try to stay neutral when she brings this up, and defend my (guy) friend to explain what I could perceive as his side.
We have been hanging out recently more often and this topic gets broached. Last night we were hanging out and she explained her reasoning on the subject more, and now I can see why she would consider it.
I am unsure how to handle this situation, they are both friends, I gave my advice, for her to talk directly about her issues with him, but I don't know how to handle this situation? | Friends with guy and girl, girl seriously considers breaking up with guy, I don't know what to say. Help? |
t3_36qeom | relationships | Me [19 M/F] with my bf [20 M] of 4 years, I have to decide between parents and him | I was in a 3 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I met him online, in a game, and he moved last year to where I live. I'm Chinese and he is not. I didn't tell my parents anything until last week... I love my boyfriend, I love him a lot. I also love my parents, but they're very controlling and I'm not brave enough to stand up to them. They've always wanted me to date a Chinese guy, and now that they know about my boyfriend they want me to cut ties with him immediately. My boyfriend is willing to learn Chinese, learn about our culture, but my parents don't even want to meet him. I feel like my only option is running away with him. He is very economically stable, and can even pay upfront for my university. What should I do? | I love my boyfriend, my parents don't want to even meet him. Idk what to do. |
t3_24iv48 | relationships | I [20M] want to know if cheating and polyamory is too common for a monogamous relationship in my age group. | EDIT: I know I used "is" instead of "are" in the title. Realized after the fact I didn't correct it.
I spent... 4 years without even touching a girl in any way romantic. Last time I tried dating, I was burned that badly by manipulative women. Now I'm trying again in a new city 500 miles away.
Well. Since then, I have managed to have "flings" with 7 women in only 5 months. This is absolutely insane for me in the first place, because I never had a single date before this. And even now there aren't dates. Things are weird.
Every girl -except for one- has had a boyfriend. Every single one. I'm not trying to date/bang/get with women who are in relationships. I just find out after the fact they "forget" to tell me they're in a relationship, or they are polyamourous.
Disclaimer: first girl was just using me to get over a breakup and moved to another state shortly after.
Now. Polyamourous relationships. I've not met a girl who was really "polyamorous". the 3 girls that told me that, ended up just using me to fill the void left by a bad boyfriend, for second plans when their main boyfriend bailed on them, or were too busy and they were horny.
I am tired of this, honestly. I'm getting ready to go another long time before I feel like asking women for their numbers, or to do something after whatever event we meet at.
I don't give a damn really about sex. I just want a relationship. Someone I can grow and share all the stuff I'm doing with.
So do I just have bad luck, or is this just how the age group (19-25) is? | For the age group (19-25), is cheating really common, and is polyamory just an excuse to cheat? |
t3_tvc7k | running | Training up from less than zero. Advice? | On April 24, I slipped in the shower and herniated a disc. After three weeks horizontal with extreme sciatic pain, I finally found a doctor who was interested in helping me. On Wednesday (3 days ago as I write this), I had lumbar microdiscectomy surgery, releasing the pressure crushing my sciatic nerve and immediately relieving the pain.
So now I'm recovering from surgery. My doc has me walking--he wants me to work up to a mile a day by my follow up appointment in three weeks. But right now my energy level is so low, I did about 1/5 mile today and have been wiped out totally.
From being bedridden for literally three weeks, I've lost a noticeable amount of muscle. When I sit, I feel my butt bones in a way I never have before. By the end of my walk today my thighs were shaking.
Here's my plan. I'm going to celebrate the anniversary of the accident by running my second half marathon. My doctor is on board with this as long as my aerobics is non-impact until six months post-op. So I'm now treating my walking assignment as the very beginning of my training for the half.
The other thing is, the race I want to do is April 20 in Salt Lake City, where a lot of my family is. That's 4500 feet. My training will be happening around my home in Greensboro, NC, at 800 feet. So there's that.
What advice do you have, /r/running? | got a year to train at low altitude for a high altitude half, starting from walking 1/5 mile a day takes everything I've got. |
t3_3ohc4n | relationships | I'm 20M, when should I ask a 20F out that I met the other night? | So on Saturday night I was at a party and got talking to this pretty girl. She was lovely and we must have spent about 3 hours talking to each other about loads of common interests.
We pretty much decided to leave at the same time and she asked if I would walk her home as there are lots of dark/empty streets etc. So of course, like any gentleman, I walked her home. Because we'd been talking so long in the evening I was half expecting her to invite me in to stay the night etc, although wasn't too upset when she didn't as not really up for the whole ONS thing.
So got to her door and left without a hug or anything, it was a little awkward although I'm not sure in what way. We're now friends on Facebook, and have exchanged a couple of messages.
I'd really like to meet up with her again for a drink or something, even if it's just to be friends and not any further. But I'm not sure how long to leave this/what to say. Or even if asking her out for a drink is a little cliche? | There's a girl who I met at a party; when is a good time to ask her out to do something and what should I say? |
t3_1c0z87 | legaladvice | Family Law Advice needed, going for sole custody | My ex and I were in a relationship for three and a half years. He has a temper and is very controlling and is borderline cruel when it comes to what kids are in trouble for and what heir punishments are. I suffered greatly during our relationship, as I stood as a buffer between him and my children and he would lash out at me, emotionally and mentally, and the abuse was so horrible that I wound up having to go to a therapist regularly and get medicated to keep from killing myself. We split as soon as I had the means to kick him out and survive. His entire family encouraged me to go for full custody of our child to protect her from the way he acts (she is strong willed and he is bound to lash out at her the way he tried to my kids and how he is allowed to do to his wife's kids), and from his selfish decisions (our daughter vacations regularly with his parents, if he is mad at his mother for something completely unrelated that she said years ago, he says our daughter can't go at the last minute unless his mom does something to appease him). I want to win this. His parents are both going to testify against him. What do I need to do outside of getting a lawyer (no $) to win full custody of my treasure? | Daughter's dad is angry, abusive, and manipulative. I'm going for full custody, his family backs me. How can I win this? |
t3_23vqr3 | relationships | Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] of 4 months, it bothers me that he plays video games while on the phone with me. | Let me start off by saying that, in general, my boyfriend is really great. He treats me very well and is attentive and affectionate when we are together. He has always been an avid gamer but when I'm with him, he will focus on spending time with me. We see each other twice a week and on the days we aren't together, he calls me sometimes. However, it usually turns out to be talking on my part while he's playing his games. He replies and does sort of make conversation, but I can tell he's not all there and this bothers me.
My question is, is it reasonable for me to let him know that I don't mind him gaming, but I would appreciate a short conversation with his full attention over long conversations where he's focused on a game? I dont want to seem controlling or needy.
Also, another concern is that, we haven't been together for that long, so I cant help thinking that if he's 'falling in love' and really into me, wouldnt he be putting his game aside when he calls me? We do give each other space, so it's not that I'm asking for all his time.
When we're together, everything is great and the things he does for me show he really cares but when we're not together, he doesn't give me his full attention when we talk. This worries me because I have definitely fallen for him, and I'm not sure if he's getting there.
Any opinion and advice will be appreciated! | New boyfriend spends a lot of time gaming and would play video games while on the phone with me. Should I tell him this bothers me? |
t3_4a8xjt | relationships | 19(M) looking for advice. Single, never had a GF | It all started in early high school when I started obsessing over girls. Back in those days, I was confident and not nervous. I was the star Linebacker on my football team and it made my confidence high. During the time, I had many girls approach me (I didn't have to work for it). Most of them were obsessed and stalked me around the school. Many of my peers would make fun of me for always being around ugly girls (they would stalk me). Although I had all the ugly girls stalk me, the hot ones thought I was a creeper/weirdo. I do have Aspergers and was in Special Ed in highschool.
Over the years, I was bullied so much that my confidence shrunk to the point that I wanted to kill myself. Even if I fought the bully (I always won by KO), nothing would happen. I started to put girls above me. By my senior year, I realized that I haven't gotten any girls yet. I then started to seriously look for girls and started talking to them. Of course, I came out empty handed.
During my later/end of highschool, I missed out on spring break and quit the football team. I had no friends and was too scared to leave the house. I only went to school twice on my last highschool semester. The worst part was prom. I asked out many girls to prom and got rejected. This happened so much that I missed prom. I really regret my decisions.
Now, I am a college student that is still a kissless guy. I go to parties every weekend and end up getting kicked out. I have tried many ways to solve my anxiety/confidence issues. For example, I would see a therapist. I saw 10 therapist and no one helped. I also box professionally now (Only make $10K a year) and still single. Boxing did help my confindece a little bit. I am not scared to leave my house anymore. I got confident enough and started asking out girls. I ended up getting rejected by over 100 girls. | How do I get a girlfriend? Each day that I am single, I get more scared of girls. I am also scared of becoming a real 40 year old virgin. |
t3_15nayp | relationships | How do I [19] stop my dad [44] from verbally abusing my sister [13]? | The relationship between my sister and my dad has always been a pretty rocky one, especially since my parents divorced. Since then, they've both remarried, and my sister lives with my mom. This fall I started my first semester of college, and I hardly ever come home. Ever since leaving, the fights have increased tenfold, and my dad makes my sister feel awful.
She colored her hair, she wears make-up, her wardrobe is mostly black, etc. My dad and my stepmom both have a large problem with this, and constantly makes snide comments about her appearance. They say things like "When are you going to color your hair? It looks trashy." and constantly harass her about changing it, and once going so far as to call her anorexic.
After talking to my sister today, through tears she told me that she always feels like she's done something wrong, like she's a mistake, and that she feels ugly. There is no doubt that their behavior is the cause of this, and she can't avoid being around it since she still has to visit them.
It never used to be this bad. Ever since my dad got married, and since I've left for college, he's become much worse. Whenever I've gone to their house while on break, they never make any mention of her looks, but as soon as I'm gone, they start on her again. He's become increasingly judgmental and abusive. He was very abusive to my older brother, did nothing to me, and has started again with words toward her.
My mom and brother have both tried to talk to them about it, but he shuts them down and sometimes turns it back on them - I'm not sure of the specifics. He and I have had a very unique relationship in the past, and I think he would actually listen to me.
How do I approach him and get him to stop? | My dad constantly harasses my sister about her appearance, and makes her feel like shit. |
t3_2ak3n6 | tifu | TIFU by forgetting to switch my phone to silent. | So this happened earlier today and I'm still cringing inside.
Today was the day of my great Aunties wedding. I'm not the type of guy who likes to get dressed up all fancy like but I thought I'd make an effort to look nice so as not to embarrass the rest of my family. So there we we were, everyone from my brothers to great uncles and cousins and other people I can't even remember. Before the start of the ceremony, the vicar warns us to turn off or switch our mobiles to silent. I whip out my crapberry and turn it off. In comes my Auntie looking lovely in her gown. We sing some hymns, you know the average stuff. Everything goes fine *yadayada*.
This is where I fucked up.
As the vicar goes through all the technicalities, I'm getting a little restless. It was hot, I was sweating and my hips were aching after standing up for so long ( I have recurring problems with my hips )
I shuffle around a little, trying to make as little noise as possible. Then I plunge my hands into the depths of my trouser pockets. The vicar nears the end of his lines.
*If anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now*
FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
My phone had turned back on and with that, I received all the text messages that had been sent to me whilst it was switched off.
That was it, I flipped my shit. Head down, I ran from that church as quickly as I could, all the stone faced stares of distant relatives boring into the back of me.
Needless to say, I decided against going to the evening reception. Everyone's giving me the cold shoulder so I'm just going to sit in my bedroom, have a cold pint and wait for all this to blow over. | Phone switched itself on during wedding, messages came through, Fuck her right in the pussy was the sound that accompanied them. |
t3_4d3811 | Advice | Having some family issues | So the little backstory onthis situation: I am 18 and i work at my dad's restaurant with him, both my parents live together along with me. Recently ive noticed some sus. activity from my dad with another co worker. They are both around the same age and act quite flity around each other, talking very softly always finding an excuse to touch each other etc. i didnt really say anything about this but i kept track of this cause obviosly this isnt okay. now, usually everyone at the restaurant carpools, and it makes sense for my dad to drop me off last because we live together, thats how the route usually goes. But recently he would drop off me first and then drive the said female co worker off last, which is a huge inconvience btw, i had huge suspicions at this point and wanted to confront someone about this, but i let it go on for a bit longer (dont know why, i guess i wanted to confirm my suspicion). well, this week i told my mom about this and she said shell take care of it. im the worst at conforting someone and have no idea what to do. shes crying in the bathroom right now and i feel like its completly my fault, though clearly its not, how can i comfort her? i usually just give people space but that really hasnt worke din the past. | dad probably cheated, and i need advice on how to comfort my mom. |
t3_21ksze | relationships | My boyfriend 19 [m] won't stop looking at porn | I am 19 also dating/living with my boyfriend of 8-9 months. Every time I look at his reddit he's constantly looking at naked woman, earlier he called me a pig. I look nothing like these woman, I'm thicker. But he's promised numerous amounts of times to stop doing such actions on the account of it making me extremely uncomfortable, am I crazy? Or is this a logical thing to be frustrated over, ex specially seen as he lies about it. I'm just feeling entirely to insecure and don't know what to do. | my boyfriend looks at naked woman had promised to stop but lies about doing so instead. |
t3_3xjzg4 | relationships | Me [19 M] with my roommate [19 M], roommate lays in bed all day and doesn't eat/shower | I think my roommate is depressed. For the past two weeks, he has skipped all his finals and laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He has literally not moved from the bed and mostly ignores my attempt to make conversation. He occasionally gets up to use the bathroom or drink water. Then he goes back to bed and sleeps or looks at the ceiling.
I thought this would last last two days, but it has been two weeks and he looks/smells terrible.
We are not on campus housing, so there is no RA to tell. His parents call him, but he ignores them and let's the phone ring. The phone is now out of power, so they don't call anymore. I'm tempted to call his parents, but I'm not sure if he'll stop me though it's worth a try.
Any suggestions on what to say to him and what to do? I'm not sure if he's intending to simply waste away and die. Looking at him honestly freaks me out a little. | Roommate lays in bed all day, doesn't eat/shower and doesn't respond to me (most of the time). What to do? |
t3_2v8n83 | relationships | I [16 M] want some opinions on a girl I'm involved with [15 F] hooking up with a guy before her and I go official | So short background: I'm 16 she's 15, we've known one another for a month and a half. She's moving out of state at the end of June/July.
We have a first date planned for Valentine's day.
We've been talking lately and she was unsure of what she wanted due to her moving and a bad relationship that ended a few months ago.
Well tonight we talked, and basically she wants to start an exclusive casual thing, and then we can see if we want to make it a full relationship or keep it casual. The thing is, before we do any of that and while we're still technically single, she wants to hook up with another guy no strings attached.
I've never hooked up, and honestly she'd be my first for about everything, but I know if I said no her and I would probably not work. So I stayed understanding and made it clear I want to be exclusive once we start casual dating/a relationship and she agreed.
What's your opinion on this? I mean she was honest on all of this, who it was, and whatever else. I do trust her. | girl wants either causal dating or relationship before moving in a few months, wants a one time no strings attached hook up with another guy before we get involved as a one last thing of being single. |
t3_3zynup | relationships | My [27F] guy friend [30M] is going through a tough time. What can I do to make him feel better everyday? | We've been friends for 3 years now. We live in different countries. Recently he told me about his problems. I asked him because I felt something was off. He kept denying for months, but opened up to me recently. His girlfriend left him as he was going to propose, his parents had split (they are together now though), he hates his job, his father has mental health issues.
I wrote to him saying how I'm happy that he opened up to me and that I'm always there if he needs to talk. He thanked me for listening when he was done telling me about it.
We chat everyday. But he sounds down. He used to be a very lively and happy person. I feel sad.
Now, I have this urge to do something for him to make things better for him. But I know there's nothing I can do that's gonna solve his problems. I can't fix his dad's illness, I can't improve things at his workplace, I can't make his girlfriend come back. I really can't do anything to fix his problems. Now my question is, what can I do for him? How do I make him feel better on a daily basis? I feel like I'm not doing enough. I want to be a good/true friend to him because he trusted me with the things he didn't tell anyone about. | How do I make a friend going through a tough time feel better everyday? |
t3_2obg8a | relationships | Me [18 M] got a girls [18 F] number and don't knoww what to do next. | I was in the library Tuesday night and saw a stunning girl and I knew I couldn't let her go without at least trying to get her number. After and hour of hyping myself up I got the courage to ask her for her number and it worked. I waited until noon the next day to text her and unfortunately we didn't have too deep of a conversation ( I'm really awkward and bad at talking to girls) and she took about an hour between each text. We talked about our majors and some interests then a lot about music. I didn't text back to one of her last texts because I couldn't think of something to say and forgot to text back. Now it's Thirsday evening and we haven't talked yet today.
Should I text her and start a conversation or is this just a sign that she isn't interested anymore? I don't want to seem like a creepy stalker by texting her all the time. Or is she just shy and waiting for me to start a conversation which is why she takes so damn long to text back? This is my very first time getting a girls number so I have no idea what to do. Even if she isn't interested in me anymore I'm just proud of myself that I was able to ask a field for her number for the first time. | asked girl for her number, we had a lack luster conversation and now I dont k ow if I should text her back. |
t3_11hng9 | BreakUps | Bf[20M] broke up with me[21F] with the promise of trying again. What should I do? | About three weeks ago my boyfriend[20] of a month decided we needed to pause and take a break for a few weeks until our lives settled down a little bit and then we would try to work things out again. I understand where he was coming from because we never saw each other, so I agreed and we went a couple weeks without seeing each other or talking. A few days ago he text me out of the blue and asked me to come over to his place so we could talk. When I got there, there wasn't much talking going on. We had sex and then just chilled out for a little bit. We talked the next couple of days, but not about anything important. We haven't talked in three days and he hasn't responded to the two text messages I've sent to him. I'm suppose to start birth control when my next period start, which should be in a few days, but I don't want to start the birth control unless I need to. I need to know what's going on and where we stand, but I don't know how to ask or what he's thinking. What should I do?? | Boyfriend broke up with me with the promise of trying to work it out when our lives settled down. Skip a few weeks, we have sex, but aren't back together. How do I ask him what's going on without sounding pushy?? |
t3_51r50h | relationships | Me [28F] with my BF [26M] of one year, all our friends say that I'm obsessed with him | My BF and I have been together for just over a year. We were friends before we started dating so we know each other pretty well. I admit that I can be pretty weird. I don't have many interests and I don't mind staying home. I just like spending time with my boyfriend.
Lately both my friends and his have started giving me shit for "focusing" my world on him. They say that I never go out without him and I only go out with my friends when he's busy. I feel like he's my #1 priority and should have the first right of refusal for my time. I've also heard his roommate call me a stage five clinger and his best friend said that I was obsessed with him. I think this is a serious relationship and I know that I want to marry this man, so there's nothing wrong with giving it my best effort.
So help me understand where they're coming from. Am I approaching my relationship "wrong"? | Am I too clingy and obsessed with my boyfriend? |
t3_q00zk | relationships | I don't really understand how to initiate sex in this relationship | I (male, 21) have been dating this girl (also 21) for about a month and a half, and even though the first time we had sex was about five days after we started dating, since then we've only had sex twice. I know it's not because I'm bad at it (I mean, I'm at least really good at going down on her.) She has this hang up about doing anything sexual during the day, but at night she just wants to watch Weeds, without turning away from the screen, until she's too tired to keep her eyes open, and immediately falls asleep. She says this is her normal nighttime routine, but it just seems so strange to me, like I'm not quite sure how I fit in to it, and it's not just that I'm upset that she creates no opportunity for intimacy, it's also that I just feel completely superfluous to her life. I want to be able to make her happy, both physically and emotionally, but I just don't really understand how/if I'm supposed to initiate intimate moments with her. In all of my previous relationships I never had any problem... So what should I do?
Also, this is my first reddit post, so please be kind to my inability to format this correctly. | I don't understand how to initiate intimacy with my girlfriend, who just seems to want to watch Weeds until she is asleep. |
t3_3b6jvx | relationships | How do you and your SO communicate? | For background, I'm 20M and my SO is 23F we've been dating 2 years.
To be honest I'm very frustrated. I'm an open minded person though as I like to think. I'm currently in this seemingly ridiculous relationship with someone who we've had past issues but had decided to resolve them. She started making effort and I'd now reverting to the way she was in a lot of things.
My main question has to do with discussing what's bothering you or arguments etc. She likes to say "Your telling me what I feel is wrong." But I only specifically say that to things like "you don't love me".
So today, I tried conversing with her about what's going on. She specifically stated, you have to only help come up with solutions, not respond to what I say. When she says everything I need to fix, I can tell her what she needs to fix.
Example: Her: I don't feel like you love me. Me: that's not true, etc. (I can't say this) I'm basically supposed to apologize and ask how to fix this.
I firmly believe that communicating issues should be discussing both of our feelings on a subject and then working together to resolve the issue.
Am I crazy? | I believe one of us at the very least is bat shit crazy. Discussing feelings on a topic and a solution. Or one person's feelings and then finding a solution. |
t3_22ageg | relationships | Me [20 M] with my upstairs neighbor [20 M/F], haven't talked too much but, how do I ask her out or even get to know her better? | I'm in college and there's this girl in my apartment complex that lives above me that I think is pretty cute. In the beginning of the year I would talk to her occasionally as she was out letting her cat get some exercise. Then I don't know what happened to the cat and I basically stopped seeing her even though she lives right above me.
Fast forward a quarter to finals week. I see her on the bus a couple times and we begin to talk and she's a really nice, sweet girl. I wanted to ask her out but I don't really know how since I dont' really see her much in person at all. I talked to her a little over my spring break over facebook but I would like to get to know her better.
Is it creepy to just begin speaking to her on Facebook? Or is it weird to just possibly ask her out if I don't know her all that well? I mean she lives right above me she's honestly so close. I'm also pretty shy and I get really nervous so any tips/tricks on how to go about it I would appreciate it! | Cute girl lives upstairs. Haven't talked to much but I want to get to know her better and maybe ask her out. Do I have to get to know her better? What should I do? |
t3_30ux26 | askwomenadvice | Ladies, looking for insight. Me [28 M] with my ex-gf [28 F] of 3 years, broke up but want to stay friends. 4 months after our break-up, I'm confused with HER behavior. | So the break-up was more or less mutual, although she brought it up. But she seemed to struggle with it more.
She was the one initiating contact, etc.
Then maybe 2-3 weeks after our break-up she already found a guy. She's been hanging out with him damn near every day now, and people say that it's a rebound, but is it?
She's clearly dressing better and exercising, etc for him.
My issue, is she is seeming more distant and I've noticed dishonesty (omitting things too), and her behavior has been selfish/cold.
I understand people get a bit weird after the breakup.
But, she is the one that initiates contact.
I feel like she first used me to get over me, and now has this guy to distract her.
My issue is, I loved the person she was when we were together. But the person she is now is really throwing me off.
I'm not trying to get back with her, I just want my friend back. Her and I were basically best friends for 2 years before we hooked up.
I was just wondering if you all had some insight. Is it something that just needs more time?
She basically omits the hanging out with this guy (although I know it's daily through mutual friends, and she stays over all the time), but she is the one initiating contact like suggesting lunch, which we've done every 2 weeks or so.
It's weird when the person you knew so well all of a sudden acts so differently. | ex-gf wants to stay friends, but has been acting hot/cold and basically being dishonest but I don't know if it's to protect my feelings or if she has ulterior motives. |
t3_xk224 | AskReddit | What is the worst thing you have ever done? Possibly NSFW | I'll start...
...back when I was about 17, and still an immature idiot, I was at this guys house for a party, well more of a gathering of around 20 people, and seeing as I was one of the only people driving (the others were completely hammered, I was just a bit tipsy) the guy who's house it was asked me to drive his girlfriend home. Now, I had sensed that this girl was kind of in to me before and she was giving off some signs in the car that she definitely was, so me, being a slightly tipsy, over confident and highly sex charged teenager asked her if she would like to have a taste of my love stick (i'd always wondered what it was like to get a bj while driving).
She duly obliged and started pleasuring me while i was taking her home...from her boyfriends house. We ended up pulling over and having some pretty steamy car sex before i dropped her off and returned to the party.
I felt like a complete dick for what i did, and it still embarrasses me to think about it now. The worst thing about the whole situation was that the guy whose girlfriend i boned was actually one of the nicest people you could ask to meet, but at that age your dick overrides your brain. | Nice guy asks me to drop his gf home, naughty willy takes over brain and I end up boning her |
t3_2431ou | relationships | Me [22 /F] with new bf [24 M] 4 months, still hanging out with ex but only wants to see me should i stop seeing him? | Several months ago now I met a guy who had been through a break up around the same time as I had & we started seeing each other casually.
Both of our relationships were for four years & shortly after we started seeing each other he said he only wanted to see me & didn't want me seeing anyone else.
After another month I told him I was ready to only see him which was fine until he said he was hanging out with his ex one night. After some talking yesterday he said didn't want to stop hanging out with her so didn't think he could be in a proper relationship & I could see other people.
After talking to him properly he said he still only wanted to see me & didn't want me to see other people but would still occasionally hang out with his ex but not doing anything with her just as friends & I could do the same.
Should I be worried that he wants to hang out with her still or is it alright if i carry on seeing him & have him tell me whenever they hang out if nothing is happening. Neither of them want to get back together I think its part of them getting used to being apart. | new bf wants to be allowed to occasionally see his recent ex but still see me. Should I accept that as a moving on process or run for the hills? |
t3_38qpnd | Advice | 23 yrs old, 6 years in college, no degree, $150,000 in private school debt, 4 major changes, attended 3 colleges, no job. | I am currently a finance major, with 2 more years go to finish.
My sequence of majors were Pharmacy -> Biology -> Business Administration -> Finance.
I'm about to change my major again cause I don't like finance. I just chose it thinking I would make decent money to pay off my debt. Now I need to start paying about 1200 per month for my loans
I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no connections so I can't even get more than minimum wage job. And I have no skills to offer. My resume is trash with a few simple jobs. I lose motivation very easily and quit as soon as things go bad. | I fucked up. I don't know what to do with my life. Feeling pretty hopeless. |
t3_kznzf | AskReddit | Redditors who *were* socially awkward... Why *were* you? Why aren't you any more? How did you get over it? | I'm 23, male, living in London. I've got a decent job (not the best - but I'm far from short of cash). I don't think I'm physically attractive - at all, but I'm not like fat and gross or anything. I have a degree in software engineering from a good university.
Despite these things which would suggest to society that I'm pretty intelligent and moderately successful, I lack confidence in everything I do. I struggle to speak to new people or hold a conversation and so fear even attempting to strike up a conversation with somebody I haven't met before.
Until last year when I came out of a 6 year long relationship I never really went out much, besides the pub with a couple of close friends. I've always wanted to be more outgoing and confident but I can't seem to figure it out. My only attempts at speaking to girls have been when I'm so drunk I'm close to passing out.
I know a common response to stuff like this is "just act confident". I don't have the confidence to act confident - so I don't understand how that could ever work for somebody who has problems with social situations. | I'm a pussy, don't want to be, how do I stop it? |
t3_2cb1mf | tifu | Tifu by opening the door for a kid | Not today, a few months ago. Me and my girlfriend were sitting at home watching television and close to starving, so we decide to order some pizza for pickup from a place down the street. Decent pizza and pretty cheap, so I get in my truck and drive my lazy ass about two blocks away. As I walk up to the door I notice a small child, maybe 8-10 years old walking toward the door with his arms full of pizza, crazy bread and a couple sodas. He leans with his back against the door to open it just as I get close, so I decide to help him out and pull the door open. Well, I guess he was leaning pretty hard and ate shit. Pizza boxes fly, crazy bread erupts into the air in slow motion like those fucking stupid canned snake things. Just as his head cracks off the concrete I pull him up, ask if he is okay (which he was), and help him recover his bounty of little caesars. Looking over I see his parents sitting in an suv aghast at what had just happened to their child at my hands. With that I walk into the store to get my pizza with shame in my heart. | opened a door that had a kid leaning against it, arms full of pizza stuff. Kid eats shit, parents were shocked, I was shamed. |
t3_3d0ubm | relationships | I (f 30) found photos on my bf's (m 33) computer of a hidden camera he had in his bathroom taking photos of a friend. (more in comments) | *backstory *
Bf and I have been together for 8 months. Do not live together yet be we have been discussing it and were planning on me moving in at the end of the summer. Last Friday he had a female friend come over that he has known for 10 years. I was there too and we hung out in the back yard and had a bonfire. She slept over since she does not have a car and my bf picked her up and there was also a bit of drinking at the bonfire.
Fast forward to this morning. I opened up my bf's laptop that's plugged into the tv to watch a movie. I plugged in the hard drive and was waiting for it to show up on the screen when I saw some photos on the desktop that were of someone in his bathroom. I clicked on them and both images were of his female friend in his bathroom. One was of her naked, the other clothed. They appeared to be taken with a hidden camera that was in his bathroom closet. I checked to see if it was there and it was not. These photos were taken Friday night when she was changing into pajamas.
I'm....at a loss words for how I feel. Pretty much every emotion at once. I plan on talking to him about this when he gets off work.
I need advice. How do I start this conversation? I'm trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. I absolutely love this man but I am so sickened by what I found. I've been going back and forth between devastated and absolute fury. I just feel so lost I don't know what direction I should go. | Bf has hidden camera photos (very recent) of female friend on laptop. Accidentally found them on desktop. World crushed. |
t3_1vdjoi | Advice | How should I handle this hit and run? | While trying to drive home last night, my car got stuck in a steep curve covered in ice. I couldn't turn around to park at the bottom of the hill, so I backed as far out of the curve as possible and left it there for the night. The car was completely off the road.
When I walked down to move it this morning, I noticed it had been hit, denting the fender pretty badly. It had obviously been hit by someone coming down the hill. My boyfriend found a note stuck in a window that said "DUDE SERIOUSLY? Move your car IDIOT." I'm not a prideful person, I realize that I was not parked in the best spot, but if I could have moved my car, I would have.
Is it petty to try to find this person and get my car fixed through insurance? My car is already pretty beat up, and I was prepared to just let it go, but I'm feeling pretty pissed about the note. I understand their car probably slipped on ice and they got freaked out/pissed off. I'm sure they didn't hit my car on purpose. But I never would have left someone a shitty note, I would have left my name and number. I live in a small neighborhood, so I am positive I can find out who they are. But before I go to the trouble of filing a claim, I want some objective opinions on whose fault it really is.
Thanks! | My parked car got hit by another (moving) car on an icy hill. Is it my fault or should I find them and pursue an insurance claim? |
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