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t3_31bzv3 | relationships | Am I [26M] paranoid or rightly suspicious about my GF[28F] of five years carpooling and getting drinks after work with a male coworker? | So my GF works at a place that you need a permit (or fill a meter) to park with during work hours. A male coworker doesn't have a permit, so he will pick her up and use her permit to park with. I have voiced my disapproval with the practice before, but ultimately it turned in to the age old argument of "you don't trust me, you're jealous for no reason". So she continued to carpool.
Yesterday she texted me saying she was getting a drink with coworkers and will be back soon. I didn't respond, and four and a half hours later she came back home. I was pissed and didn't really want to talk. She asked me how my day was and so forth. I gave one word answers. She knew i was pissed and didn't talk about her drinks with coworkers.
Basically I'm concerned that she may be unfaithful. She was married when I met her, so I know she is willing to cheat. With us it started with getting drinks after class. Is this guy a threat? How should I handle this? Am I just being an immature little shit?
It is also worth nothing that things have been a little rocky/weird as of late. She won't get dinner with my family for no good reason, she used to always go when invited. I was on vacation for a week and she didn't contact me the entire time. She gave me a baby ultimatum (I need to promise her kids within three years, i told her idk maybe). We fight sometimes but not often. | GF carpooling and getting drinks with male coworker. Relationship a little rocky. Am I paranoid for thinking she is being unfaithful or am I paranoid? |
t3_1bzrx7 | AskReddit | How can consensual participants be considered 'victims'? | I was reading the local newspaper today, and there was a small article on tips to prevent sexual predators from using the internet to interact with your children. One of the points was something along the lines of 'even if the child is a willing participant, they are still victims.' The girl in question in the article was fifteen. I understand that if a child hasn't sexually matured, or doesn't understand what they're doing...but fifteen? Hell, when i turned fifteen, i'd already been to second base with my boyfriend of several months.
A friend of mine spent time in jail because the parents of his consensual underage partner pressed charges against him. the girl had initiated the relationship, and they were both healthy and happy together. But her parents found out and pressed charges, which seems unfair to me. They were both involved and both willing, so where's the problem here? (She was 16, he was 20). | is a fifteen-year old girl a victim of a sexual predator if she willingly engages in a sexual relationship with him? |
t3_3gjn6o | relationships | F(22) 18 weeks pregnant going through a somewhat breakup with M(22) | I call it a somewhat breakup because we're not broken up yet. Just not romantically involved. Honestly.. I have no fucking idea what's going on.
Here is what's been happening...
For the past 2 weeks my boyfriend has been incredibly distant and he cut off complete affection. He gave me a kiss on the cheek here and there. No sex. No nothing. We've been dating for 2 years maybe. For 1 1/2 years everything was great. We had our bumps. But never this bumpy.. Until we moved. So I started going with my gut feeling that he was going to leave me or he stopped loving me. I didn't want to believe it. We have so many plans. So eventually, today... I was fed up with how cold and distant he was being. I sat next to him and asked him what was going on with him, you can tell me anything etc. And he just kept saying nothing. But I finally got it out of him. He said he doesn't love me anymore.
I really wanted to be proven wrong that I was just overthinking. But that's not what happened. He said nothing caused him to not love me anymore, that he cares a lot about me etc. I don't want to believe it. I'm not the type of woman to beg a man to stay with me. But with him I kind of negotiated to him waiting it out another month. I think it may be because we've been around each other 24/7. He starts school in 2 weeks and I start a new job in a few days. I think things will be different then. Am I wrong? Should I not even bother getting my hopes up that he will magically love me again or think more throughly about this? Should I not waste our time with the waiting it out? I'm so confused and a little devastated. | boyfriend says he doesn't love me anymore after we've been on edge for a bit. How should I deal with it? |
t3_3j95vr | personalfinance | VA sent me to collections for overpayment! Help!! | ok so this happened while i went to college between 2010-2012. i was checking my credit score last night and saw that it had dropped from a 730 to a 574. i was pretty shocked and then i saw that i had 3 debts added, all from the va stemming from the GI bill i received as a beneficiary from my dad. it was pretty alarming as this was the first time i had heard about these charges. i have been on the phone with them all day today but they have been little to no help. they said that they had sent a letter to my dads old address in march 2015 notifying me of the debt, we have not lived there since 2012 as my dad has moved to florida and i moved to another part of the city. so as you can understand it was pretty shocking to see this charge as i had no knowledge about it or i would have taken the correct plan of action to fix it. so my question is if i pay off this debt (which is around $4000) now will i be able to have them take this off of my credit report? and how i would go about doing that. thanks! | sent to collections for debt that i knew nothing about, if i pay now will i be able to get the debt taken off of my credit report. |
t3_f0s6r | AskReddit | Had my heart broken by a girl at work. about to tell a new girl at the same job how I feel about her. I'm scared of getting hurt again, any advice? | The long story, I started working at my job back in Nov 09
and had been working with this girl for a little over 4 months
before I started to really get to know her. Finally I asked her out
around Feb 10 and we ended up going out on a few dates. We never
were intimate but we have been over to each other's place a few
times and even started to kiss each other. I really felt a genuine
love connection to her and decided after our last date that I was
going to tell her how I felt towards her. I never got the chance at
another date to express my feelings and a few months later I found
out through the grape vine that she was pregnant. She is due to
deliver sometime later this month which tells me that she was not
pregnant when we were together for our short period. I still work
with her and to this day she has not offered any sort apology or
acknowledgment of our time together. It hurt pretty bad and took a
few months to get over it and can now even hold a conversation
with her at work. I guess I have forgiven her though I'm not sure
if I actually have.
Lately I have started seeing this other girl at work and
we have already went on a few dates together. This one girl already
has a child and I'm at the point of having feelings towards her.
We have a date scheduled for Saturday with her child included. I
have decided that I'm going to fully let her know how I feel towards
her on that date. I want to tell her at that time so I can at least
try and avoid any situation like the first girl of being built up
just to be crushed, regardless I'm scared of having my heart broken
again even though I'm going to go through with this. I would just
like some pre and post outcome advice whether it turns out good or bad | About a year ago I started going out with a girl at work I really liked, she broke my heart by getting pregnant with another man's child. Saturday I'm going to tell another girl at work that I've recently been going out with, how I feel about her. I'm scared of getting my hear broken again, Any advice? |
t3_2y6orv | tifu | TIFU by talking about a pen | I started a new job this past Monday and have been pretty good about not scaring anyone off. Well after returning from my break I go to enter the break room to get some coffee and see a bunch of people huddled together, some of them are crying. Automatically I turn around and walk away - no way in hell I'm getting involved in whatever is going on in there.
-Mental note made, someone very likely died.
Fast forward two hours my supervisor, who was one of the people crying, tells me she has a new pen for me because the one I'm currently using is running out of ink...
"Yeah, it's been pretty dead for awhile now"
Supervisor exit stage left crying her eyes out and very likely hates my guts now. | Woman died and I'm too insensitive to watch the dumb shit that comes out of my mouth. |
t3_2opis7 | relationships | My best friend[M17] has recently gotten angry with me[F17] about my love life and he hasn't talked to me in almost a week. | Me and my friend[F16] got in an argument and she got angry at me for having sex with a guy and she wouldn't talk to me for awhile. I was texting my best friend and sobbing to him about how she wouldn't talk to me, and he was texting her telling her to talk to me. Well I never told him why we were arguing but she did and he texted me and got super pissed and told me to never talk to him again. Of course I thought he needed a day or 2 to cool down, but its almost been a week and he keeps ignoring my texts and it's not like I can talk to him in person because he doesn't live near me. I do get that he is jealous because I know he likes me, which is why I never told him about the sex. I don't really know what to do because he means everything to me. I know I know this is some teen drama, but I've been depressed for awhile now and a lot of bad things keep happening and he was the only person I told my deepest stuff to and now I feel like I have no one. | Best friend hates me because I had sex with someone, hasn't talked to me in almost a week. |
t3_1obiom | relationships | I [23 M] am dealing with the continual repercussions of being raised by an abusive mother. Dating life in particular. | My mom and I have never gotten along. I was her first child, and I was subject to a lot of verbal abuse, minor physical abuse, and constant manipulation etc while growing up. I was beaten before I was big enough to defend myself, told what a terrible ungrateful person I was on a regular basis, that I was a mistake etc... You get the picture. When I moved out several years ago I limited my contact with her to letters or emails. After a couple of years it seemed like she may have overcome a lot of her issues with me so I reestablished contact. This led to one of her worst episodes and me cutting off communication with her completely. I have no contact with her at this point though she hopes to reestablish our relationship in the future.
I am very close with my younger siblings, and will spend time with them when I can. I feel very protective of them and try to reaffirm their worth, and that they are loved etc. because I believe not having that knowledge while growing up has scarred me to this day. I was very insecure growing up. I had a couple of girlfriends, but they were usually just as broken as I was and they were not happy relationships. I also faced many brutal rejections from women over the years, many of which I believe were a direct result of my insecurities and self sabotage.
I've attended therapy for a couple of years, read all the self improvement books I can get my hands on, and had some very close friends (cousins actually), that have helped me in my attempts to rebuild myself. I dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time but believe I am a capable, confident person at this point. Unfortunately, I still have extreme trust issues, especially with women. I would like to have that closeness and trust in a real relationship, but I feel like I'm the one preventing it from happening, and I don't know how to change it. I have no real desire to go out and meet or approach women because my life experience has been so negative in that regard, my parents relationship being a big factor. How do you learn to trust and accept love? | An abusive mother and predominantly negative experiences with dating have resulted in my distorted view of women. How can I overcome my history and introverted nature to approach people and experience trust and closeness in a relationship? |
t3_2zmp3f | tifu | TIFU in an interview | This happened a year and a half-ish ago.
I was applying for simple part-time jobs and I happen to get an interview at an electronics store in a local mall. Now for me, the interview was a big deal since it was my first one. So I decided to research how an interview works and ask my parents and a few friends on how I would go about doing it. One of my friends suggested to 'break the ice' as soon as possible by making a small joke and for some reason that stuck in my head.
So I went on the day of the interview to the store and was told to wait. The store manager comes out of his office and I stand up to greet him. He tells me to come with him and we head to the food court. Two minutes later we get there and the first question he asks me was how I would talk to customers.
Being the idiot I am, I decided to say "With my mouth" and I gave him a shit eating grin.
The manager just looks at me with a 'are you fuckin' serious' face, stands up and walks back to his store. I was confused so I followed the guy and he just glared at me throughout the entire walk then when we reached the store he yells at me to leave him alone. Being the meek human I was, I did what he said and walked away.
Needless to say, I failed at my first job interview. | Fucks up first job interview by saying a really shitty joke to manager |
t3_1ssjth | AskReddit | What alternative ways do you know of getting out of debt usually not thought of? | Well Hello there,
So, I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right area, or correctly at all because this question is more specific than general. But here goes. I was going to college. I came from out of state, but because my mom was receiving public assistance (Food Stamps), I was able to change my residency to in-state. There was a gap of ~5k in tuition, which they auto deposited to my bank account. Sweet. Bills paid, stupid expenditures, a move and a month later, they came back because that money was never supposed to go to me. And so. Here I am. About a year later, I've tried to get loans (bad credit), borrow from an affluent friend (Too large a sum for comfort ability), and I can't get any student loans because I'm no longer enrolled. They froze my student account so I couldn't register for classes when it happened. Obviously, it's life. I screwed up. Bad JustaaGuy. But I'm trying to get back into school, sometime before my brain loses momentum and college becomes harder than it already is. And I don't want to get lured into a routine where I don't go. Yes, I can save and pay off slowly with excess money from my check, but it would take me close to 2-4 years by what I can afford over time. Meanwhile, the sum continues to grow. Now I'm at 7k because of late fees and collection fees. So, I thought I'd ask Reddit to see if anyone has any ideas I haven't tried or has had this happen to them before. I thought about selling my kidney in Iran, but I don't know. Those alleyway doctor types look shady. Thanks for reading. | Have a lot of school Debt (7k). Don't have a lot money. Trying to look for a quicker way out of it to get back into school asap. Any ideas? |
t3_1vg1mh | AskReddit | What did a friend do in your childhood that still gets you mad today? | His name was Chris. In the heyday of Yu-Gi-Oh a bunch of my friends, including asshole Chris, were all about the trading cards. Being a novice that I was I never used a starter deck but instead made my own deck out of straight booster packs. Everyone scoffed and ridiculed me for doing so but I would always win. One day I decide to sleep over douche bag Chris's house and miraculously all my high powered shiny cards disappeared overnight. I questioned Chris time and time again and he has no idea where they went. HE WILL FOREVER BE A LIAR AND I HATE HIM STILL!!! | douche Chris stole my cards. I pissed on him while he slept. |
t3_4a42i4 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend[21M] of a year+, I feel like a take a literal backseat to his best friend who is also his ex. | My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some change now and things have been going very well so far. I met his family,
they are fantastic and they like me, etc. My issue is with his best friend. Now, they've been friends since high school and are very close.
The issue? She is his ex. She is a lesbian but for a time they dated. I have no issue with that. The problems arise when we have to hang out. I always have to sit in the back seat because she gets motion sickness and is anxious when she has to drive so she is always in the car with us for these ventures.
When I am around her, she gives off this weird aura and I immediately want to leave. Since she's his best friend, I've tried to get over this.
I've told my boyfriend the way that I feel and that I feel like I am taking a literal backseat to her when we hang out.
There are also little incidents that have pissed me off also. He planned a trip to her favorite play to attend with her. He rarely does that for me unless I ask first. We have a good relationship otherwise, with pretty open communication. Like I said, I told him about my sentiments. But I don't know what to do from here if there really is anything to do. The problem only exists when she is around, as terrible as that sounds :( | What do I do when I'm treated like the third wheel in my relationship? |
t3_43ttkl | relationships | I [20/M] am scared of breaking up with my girlfriend [19/F] after 11 months | So when I started dating my current gf (who is also my first one) almost a year ago things were more than great. She said she finally found a good boyfriend who cares for her and treats her well and I got together with the girl I had a crush on.
In the past 2 months we started arguing quite a lot and she made me feel miserable and lost. She always apologizes and tells me how scared she is to lose me. I don't just want to throw everything away, but I feel like it would be best for me to be alone again. What I don't think is going to happen is that she will get over it that easily. I fear she's going to drop out of school again and therefore ruining all possibilities of a good education. She doesnt have a family here, because her father lives in another country and her mother even on another continent. They both lost their custody and therefore my girlfriend lives in an apartment owned by an organisation for young women who had to get away from home because of an abusive relationship to the parents.
When she doesnt finish school now she won't be able to do it any other time because the organisation only allows the girls to stay till the age of 21.
I just don't want to ruin her life because I feel a bit unhappy. I always put other peoples well being in front of mine and I can't get myself to do otherwise. If it was only half a year till she was finished with school I'd stay with her, but its over 1.5 years and thats a god damn long time.
I dont even know what I expect to hear from you guys, but I figured it would be better to write here than do anything and just live with it. | I don't want my girlfriend to drop out of school and waste the opportunity of a good graduation just because I am unhappy. |
t3_4iaki8 | relationships | My boyfriend [35 M] went from indifferent to almost obsessed with me [28 F] in a few months | My boyfriend and I have been dating about 6 months. When we first started seeing each other he was very non commital, would make comments on purpose to make me feel jealous and insecure, and honestly wasn't the nicest person to me. I had been in two very clingy relationships before this one so It actually was a nice change at first and I didn't really want a commitment either and the sex was amazing. As we got to know each other we grew closer but he lived an hour away and I had moved back with my parents for a while so we could only see each other on weekends. About 3 months in, I moved into my own apartment and that's when he began to change. He started being more romantic and he told his ex girlfriend he had moved on and to stop calling him. He started staying with me longer and longer and finding reasons not to go home. He now wants me to marry him and he's unrecognizable as the person I knew before. He's extremely clingy and he gets upset if I don't act that way too. He wants to cuddle all the time and got drunk one night and sent my sister a text about how much he loves me. We used to have very rough sex and he was very very dominant in the bedroom which I loved and now he says he's worried about being too rough and hurting me. I am so confused by his behavior. Most people would look at his changing as a good thing but I'm suspicious, it all happened so fast. Something seems wrong here. What do you think? | boyfriend went from aloof to extremely clingy in just a few months |
t3_11bw5c | AskReddit | Reddit, have you ever coined a term or phrase that you eventually heard other people say somewhere? | I always wondered about certain phrases. For example, growing up, I repeatedly heard the term "It's raining like cats and dogs". I just wondered how the hell something so ridiculous like that would catch on in the first place.
Anyway, if you ever invented a word or phrase, or at least think you were the first one to, post it here! Or if you even brought a certain word/phrase to your city. Obviously there's no way to prove it, but i'm just curious.
I'll start. I live in a city of 11,000, basically, everybody knows everybody. When I came into high school, my grade 9 gym teacher would repeatedly use the word "sick", to describe things. (Synonym for awesome/cool). My friends and I constantly made fun of him, and started to use words like "disgusting, filthy" etc, which actually ended up catching on in our city as well. It led me to believe that he brought the word "sick" to my city. | If you've ever brought a term/phrase to your town, or if you've invented it, tell the word, and say how you first brought it up. |
t3_2cn08k | relationship_advice | Help me (M30) help my brother (M34) start his life | My brother lives with my parents far away in the hometown I grew up, basically he's finished a degree but doesn't have any prospects or drive to do anything with his life.
We were/are both socially awkward people who grew up with parents that meant well but didn't/couldn't really help us with that growing up. My brother has taken around 10 years to finish his degree including academic probation and some time at college. As you can guess my parents have been hard on him for a long time to do something with his life or to be more transparent about his problems which he usually flubs off rather than clarifies.
It's become more straining for me because I feel as is all my parent's hopes now rest on me but my brother is wasting his wife and will have a hard time having a "typical" life now with his age and lack of skills.
I've tried taking a different approach than my parents of trying not to be judgmental when speaking to him and offering to pay for professional help or any other options he would be interested in. I feel myself drifting further and further away as my own life gets busier with more responsibility. | Older brother is not doing anything with his life and refuses professional help or advice. |
t3_q1eo5 | AskReddit | Creepy Roommate is a creeper. What do I do? | My roommate, let's say John, just left for work and left his laptop wide open, so naturally my other roommate, we'll call him Steve, and I decided to troll. We saw an open file and took a peek. Inside the file were naked pictures of girls which is whatever, but a couple of the pictures were of Steve's girlfriend. Now that sounds horrible, but we've deduced that they were older pictures from Steve's previous laptop that John had emailed to himself. Needless to say, this has Steve pretty creeped right now and we want to get rid of them. How could we do it without it being obvious? Could we make it look like and accident that they were corrupted or anything? Not the most tech-savvy person so all help is welcomed. | John is jerkin the chicken to Steve's main squeeze, probably. |
t3_pysky | relationship_advice | Need help with my relationship, I'm debating on ending it. | I'm a 25 year old male, here's my story.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. We're both 25 and have been friends since we were 18, we made the decision to start dating a few years ago. It's been a good relationship together over the past few years, but every day over the past few months I feel more and more like were just best friends that have sex occasionally. We're both in college, we both work part time, and we live together. I've felt this way ever since she asked me about marriage, and I considered it.
I love her, but I'm not in love with her. I know for a fact that I don't want to marry her but at the same time I know that she wants to marry me. We attended a friends wedding over New Years in which we were set up by the bride/groom to catch the bouquet/garter, and all of our friends won't stop talking about how we should get married. She's asked me a couple of times now what I think about marriage and all I can say is "I'm just not sure yet". I don't want to crush her dreams but at the same time I don't want to be miserable marrying someone I didn't want to for the rest of my life.
I'm happy with our dating relationship, we're both faithful and caring. We're both good roommates, and we have similar interests; but I feel as though we're both at the stage in our lives where we should be looking for the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. I'm worried that I'm wasting her time because I know I don't feel the same way she does. Is there any solution to this?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated reddit. Thank you. | I don't know how to tell my best friend that I don't want to marry her, but I don't want to hurt her because the relationship isn't a bad one. |
t3_2juy06 | relationships | The Friend Zone: Help me (M25) leave it (F25)orever | Essentially, I legitimately think I met the girl that I am going to marry.
The issue is two-fold: 1. I believe myself to be in the friend-zone 2. (more importantly) My ex has caused multiple issues with this girl, potentially turning her off. Here is the timeline:
1. Ex and I break up in July
2. I meet new girl (new)... Ex, new, and I all go to a very small grad school together. Ex and New are in totally different friend groups
3. New and I start hanging out more in a very friendly manner. Spending hours doing clean fun things. We click extremely well.
4. Ex is a drunk and not a very nice person. New and I were at a bar a few weeks ago and she drunkenly yelled at me "nice new girlfriend"... New saw this happen. I tried to laugh it off.
5. New and I continue to hang more over the past few weeks, Ex and I occasionally have drunk screaming battles.
6. Went out with a large crew last Thursday night. New and I spent the entire entire night together. Dancing, drinking, having a great time. It looked and felt very couple-y.
7. That night, about 3/4 through the night, Ex came over and threw her drink on me. Right in front of New.
8. New and I talked about it the next day, New emphasizing that she does not want to be in the middle, me emphasizing that it was one-time drunk crazy ex deal and she shouldn't sweat it.
9. Ex texts new apologizing. Also apologizes to me, separately.
10. Since then, New has been back in normal friend mode
I would like ask New out on a legitimate date and make an actual step towards something real. Just looking for some advice, this would be huge for me. | Trying to move out of friend zone with girl, ex getting in the way, not sure how to approach this |
t3_1vo0t1 | relationships | Me [20M] and my girlfriend [20F] want to be together long-distance but we cant | I was in a long distance relationship with the girl of my dreams for roughly 10 months (knew her 2 years in total). we love(d) each otherbut right now we have a lot going on (both are suffering from depression and have a couple of years of school left in total).
We really don't want to feel like we're tying each other down, emotionally or holding one another back from what they want to do in life. however after breaking up, I realized that the only thing that really matters to me is being with her, and so did she.
Right now I feel as if I'll never find someone as amazing and with such good chemistry as her, and she feels exactly the same way. It sucks for both of us but we want to remain friends because we care about each other, and we're convincing ourselves it's for the best
Will these feelings go away eventually? What should both of us do? | Want to be with my gf long distance but can't, need help |
t3_wg4js | relationships | Not enough time spent with boyfriend because of his new job. | I am 24 and my boyfriend is 27. We've been in a relationship for 4 months, so it is still new. My boyfriend recently started up a flight school with one of his buddies, and is now dedicating all of his time (60-80 hours a week) working. I've been recently been getting upset because he is spending less and less time with me, and I don't talk to him much any more. It also doesn't help that we live 50 minuts apart although I'll be moving closer at the end of the month. Is it normal for me to be getting this upset about this? How can I figure out a way to spend time with my boyfriend, when he is so busy? | Boyfriend is too busy with his new job, and we hardly see/hear from each other. |
t3_2uprs8 | personalfinance | Looking for advice on financing my first vehicle | Hi guys,
I'm looking to buy my first vehicle, and I'm not sure how much I should spend. I recently bought my first home, and have a pretty stable job with a set income.
I made a spreadsheet of what my monthly income / bills looks like | I have about ~$1,200 a month in extra income, before gas, groceries, and entertainment. Not looking for a pimp mobile. |
t3_3ariaz | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of almost 2 years, on a break but she hasn't stopped texting me | So my girlfriend and I decided while we were at work to take a break from our relationship. We live apart but in the same town. It was her idea and she said just one or two days, and she'll keep extending it if she feels she needs a longer one.
So obviously I'm upset but she said she needs some time to work out issues and she doesn't want to feel defined by the relationship but also doesn't want to end it, just wants to take a step back. So we stopped texting around lunchtime, but then a couple of hours later she started asking me to call her (both of us still at work) and texting me "I miss you" "text me" and everything like that. So I responded and said I wasn't really sure how those things went but if she wanted to keep texting that was fine.
So essentially now we're having the same normal conversations we would have except we're not technically in a relationship. However whenever I ask if the break is still on she says yes. I'm very confused about this, and any advice on the issue would be greatly appreciated. | Girlfriend and I agreed to take a break (her idea), she hasn't stopped the conversation |
t3_vkys8 | relationships | How do I get my boyfriend to be motivated and responsible for himself? | My boyfriend[22M] and I[21F] have been dating for a little over a year (~14 months). He lost his mom to lung cancer about a year ago, and since then he has become completely unmotivated and irresponsible. I understand he is mourning and needs time to heal, but he's fallen into a depression that has put him into unemployment and a lot of debt. He was evicted from his house because he couldn't pay rent, so I let him move in with me. I realize this was probably a mistake because we'd been dating for less than a year at the time, but I thought it would help him get back on his feet. It hasn't. He lays around my apartment all day playing video games and watching TV. He claims he is trying to get a job, but I feel if he really were trying, he'd have one by now. I have been paying for all his needs (food, laundry, transportation, etc.) since he moved in and it is putting a serious dent in my bank account. I want to help him and be supportive, but I don't want to just become his new Mom. I've asked my boyfriend's dad to help him, but since his mother's death, his dad has completely withdrawn from life and is totally focused around his own grievances, making him useless to help my boyfriend. My friends tell me I should just put him out on the street because it would force him to help himself, but I worry about what would happen to him. He is very depressed, can't even think about his mom without crying, and can't even function if he tries to talk about her. He doesn't have any health insurance and we really can't afford any kind of therapy. How do I help and support him while still looking out for myself? | Boyfriend's mom died and now he is really depressed, leading him into financial trouble that is now affecting me. How do I support him but not just become his new Mom? |
t3_qb2zk | AskReddit | reddit ladies! i need your help! | look. i am a confident, smart, funny, not-cocky-but-seriously-attractive guy who is being played with right now. i started talking this girl about 6 months ago, we really hit it off, connected on a deep level, and i obviously expected the best outcome.
here's the catch. she had a boyfriend, and she did tell me straight away, but she wanted more, as did i. i told her, no rush, wait until you figure things out and i'll be here waiting. right before the new year was this girl's birthday, her boyfriend at the time was too drunk to drive home, wouldn't let her drive, called her a bitch, and at one point in the night actually took a swing at her mom. after this i'd had enough, and told her A. if you want to continue talking to me, you have to break up with this douche, and B. whether you are with him or not, i will fight this guy if i ever see him for said offenses towards women. she broke up with him new year's day and i was supposed to see her that night. about 10 o'clock, she stopped texting me and i didn't hear from her for two weeks. she called me to let me know, she had been doing some serious thinking and was just "in a weird place in her life". she still hits me up occasionally, but never to actually hang out or talk and will stop texting unexpectedly.
what THE FUCK is going on? what can i do to get this back? i did nothing wrong and KNOW i am better than A. the boyfriend and B. all other choices. not to mention C. my dick is very big. | in love with girl who loved me back but stopped unexpectedly. what happened? |
t3_327dxk | offmychest | The curse is broken. | Hey boys, im writing from my phone,its close to 3am and english my 3rd language, so im sorry for any gramatical mistake.
Well, im a 20yo skinny boy whom wasnt able to fall in love and because of that i never kissed a girl (i actually feel no shame of this, but i kinda intrigates because i constantly see people falling in love and im just here bymyself), but this curse was broken 3 hours ago.
I met this girl in a concert i went last week and we were clearly into eachother. We kept talking for a while, but as im a real ashamed(?) guy, i didnt approach her that day. During the week i decided to ask her out and she said yes almost instantly (never happened before with me... They all created excuses) and so we went on a date.
My real first date at 20 yo (almost 21) was a complete success. We kept the conversation going for more than 3 hours (thanks for that reddit, for realz) and we decided i should take her back home. When we arrived at her's, i started flerting a bit, but was too scared to do something and i let her go. Worst mistake of my life.
She went in her house and i drove away, but a fucking real surge came out of nowhere and i called her saying she forgot something in the car and drove back there in the speed of the light. I waited her for 10 seconds outside and she appeared asking what did she forget and i said that she didnt. I did. I forgot to ask her if i could kiss her (reddit strikes again). And so i did it. It was really strange. It was so fast and strange because her father was comming ( i could hear the steps) and i didnt know what to do for real, but i decided to not to think and kept going until i could.
I dont know if i should tell her that that was my first kiss or how to proceed now, but i will text her for a cinema or so.
Well, thats all folks. For those who are still in the same place i was, throw yourselves in the unknown and let your heart decide. | its not a big text, but k. Almost 21yo first kiss after some balls deep movement. |
t3_22z2jz | relationship_advice | I, (26/F) found out he (27/M) has a girlfriend. We've been dating for a few weeks. | I guess you have seen this story before. We met under unusual circumstances, he was as sweet and charming as one could be. We hit it off right away, we were both very much into each other and acknowledged it. We talk daily, multiple times a day, joke flirt, make plans etc. It's been 2 weeks now. And today I found out he has a girlfriend. Not by him of course, he is still texting me the same exact way. I haven't said anything to him yet. We had this awesome date planned for this week and I feel so bummed I could break something, preferably his head.
How do I handle this scheisse? Disappear? Never answer, confront him? I'm not confrontational, I hate drama. But it did hurt me a bit, because I could really fall for him. | I met someone, nearly fell in love, found out he has a gf, (not by him) and I have no idea what to do now. |
t3_29ddet | pettyrevenge | Bask in my scent | A few months ago, I started dating someone I really liked. We share a friend group and, at first, everything was going great. He and I talked constantly and he was very open to the idea of starting a "real" relationship, as opposed to the non-exclusive flirtationship that we had going.
Then, he backtracked. After showering me with affection and making me think that we had a future together, he claimed that he couldn't "handle" our relationship and needed space.
But, he assured me, things weren't over. We just needed space *for now*. So, I took my space. I dated other people and focused on forgetting the whole thing. Seeing him after all of that, though, has been hard.
Fast-forward to last night and we are both at a party. Things between us aren't quite awkward, but it's pretty obvious that he's avoiding me and eventually he disappears with a mutual girl friend. Everyone realizes that they're hooking up in the other room.
Well, something he didn't know about me is that when I get particularly upset I get a very nervous stomach. So I waited.
When they were done and everyone was upstairs I found my way to his bathroom. The bathroom that only he and a *very* select few (AKA his latest hookup) can use.
Even I gagged as I left that bathroom. Take that, you stupid prick. | Shit on my heart, shit in your bathroom. |
t3_wn1zo | running | So, first race this past weekend and I'm feeling pretty chuffed about my results | I started running this past spring as a means of just doing something that was relatively efficient with regards to time (I have job, family, all that so I can't just do whatever, whenever). I was a competitive cyclist in a past life, but had put on probably 25lbs in the past few years since I quit the bike.
I've tried running in the past, but my cardiovascular system was always on another planet from my connective tissue and I ended up hurt within a couple months every single time. This time, I began walking. Lots of walking. I've gradually sprinkled in more and more running at a very slow pace and have backed off every time anything hurt in the slightest.
Fast forward to now and I'm down almost 20lbs, I feel fucking great, and I've done weekend runs as long as 7 miles at about a 9:30 pace.
So anyway, I did a local race just to see what I could do in a race situation at maximum pace without my form totally falling apart. Ended up going under 8 min (7:49 to be exact) for my best mile and was in the upper 25% of the field for my age group and overall. Had a good back-and-forth with one other guy who I'd pass on the uphills and then he'd pass me on the flats. He ended up getting me at the line, but it was fun. | formerly fat/lazy guy becomes runner, has good race, feeling pretty good about it. |
t3_2c3ft5 | relationships | Me [25 F] needing help with showing affection with my boyfriend [27 M] | Hi all, first time posting here, so I apologize for any mistakes.
I am seeking advice on ways to be more affectionate with my boyfriend of 5 months. He gives affection freely, and has expressed (very kindly and not pressuring me at all) his desire for me to be more affectionate. Now, it's not at all like I don't want to be, but my whole life, I have never really been an affectionate person. I believe it has to do with my upbringing, but I'd really like to learn how to better handle this.
He has also brought up how I never initiate sex. Truth is, this is another area I'm unsure about.
I want to approach this in a way that doesn't make it seem like I'm just doing it because he said something, and I really want to do what I can to improve the situation. As I have said, he has never made me feel pressured to do anything, but I really would like to return the love and attention he gives to me.
Thank you! | I need advice on how to better show affection. |
t3_242afl | relationship_advice | 20[M] Having a hard time getting over my ex [19F] | Hey guys, So about 3 months ago now me and my gf broke up. She wanted it, she said she lost all her feelings for me and said there was nothing towards me at all.
I was really good to her, treated her pretty awesome and she treated me really shitty a lot of the time, right after we broke up she had a new guy within the next few days so I went NC. I know I could never take her back because of what she did to me, but my feelings for her still have not gone away and I loose a lot of sleep every night thinking of how I went wrong and I can't stop it.
I just wanna be myself again and I just seem to not be able to be completely happy now. I think that I love her but I can't tell her that. I have had breakups in the past and I can usually get over them pretty fast.
To help myself try to get past it I have done everything I can think of and anything people suggest. I Workout everyday, read, hang out with friends, make new friends, have gone on dates and I still cant stop thinking about her.
If anyone has had anything close to this I would like to hear how you got past it and if there is anything I could do differently. | I need help moving past my ex, so I can get on with my life. Please any advice will help. |
t3_1gy2y3 | relationships | Should 26M surprise 24F after she returns from overseas trip? | Earlier this week, I posted a thread about [second date ideas](
The girl will be returning from an overseas trip later this week. We've been emailing and Skyping a bit since she's been gone. Should I surprise her when she returns by dropping off a pizza, wine and flowers? (After our first date, we went back to her place to talk more, so I do know where she lives.) Or, should I give her a day or two to relax and before a second date?
I would greatly appreciate advice on how similar situations like this played out in the past. | See thread title. |
t3_2h6765 | relationships | How do I show my wife how much I love her? [M,24] [F,23] | My Wife is an amazing woman. A while ago I lost my job, which lead to losing our house. During that period of time I was addicted to Vicodin, was super depressed and hated everything. She stuck with me though, through all the terrible shit she stayed. Eventually, I got over the addiction, got a job, and an apartment, which we are currently living in.
I love this woman more than life itself. I admire everything about her, and I will always be thankful that she stayed with me. How can I show her that I love her? How can I show her how much she means to me? | How do I show my wife how much I love her? |
t3_4byprn | personalfinance | What should I do if health insurance retracted a payment and the hospital bills me for everything? | Location: Missouri, USA
Last summer, I went for a typical annual physical. My health insurance was through my employer. It's my primary insurance, because I worked full time and did not have Medicaid/care. I'm estranged from my parents, so it's also my only health insurance.
A month ago, the insurance company retracted the payment. The hospital wants over $1000. Additionally, they say that I have to figure it out with the insurance company. According to the insurance company, they say that they need information from the hospital. The hospital redirected me back to the insurance company.
I can't sort it out in person because I left my job to go to graduate school in August, and now I am in another city. Ironically, I worked for the university associated with the hospital. | Hospital bill for $1000. Hospital and insurance company are playing "hot potato." |
t3_1tuww5 | Advice | Probable Oxy Withdrawal (non-emergency) | **Note: I've tried googling for my answer and it's all a lot of medical jargon for some. Other questions I'm really just seeking some personal experience or knowledge or assurance or whatever. I'm not asking for medical advice, I'm just curious about this and how to deal with it like, socioemotionally currently.
**
I'm recovering from an ankle surgery I had last friday. I've had two similar procedures in the last three years. All three times I've been on decently heavy opiod-based drugs (oxycodone, etc.) for short periods of time. I cut the narcotics quickly this time, without much weaning&I moved to less intense pain medication yesterday.
I feel like the withdrawal from the narcotic is really strong this time. I've experienced the hot flashes and probably some of the other stuff before, but not enough to be able to identify it as a withdrawal quite so explicitly. I've slept 3 hours out of the last 38. I'm getting a bit existential (like, unhappy existential) and paranoid when I'm left alone at night (scared of monsters & phantoms, etc.). I've been having severe sweats, have resumed anxious self destructive habits that I haven't visited in many months, and have angsted and cried at my parents like I haven't done since the hayday of my teenage years.
**1. Is tolerance to narcotics/opiate pain relievers reduced with this kind of short, spaced usage?
2. How long will this last?
3. What can I do to help myself not feel totally insane? I need to fucking sleep but can't.
4. Is this normal? | I think I'm withdrawing from the pain killers I was prescribed and I'm trying not to go batshit. See above questions.*** |
t3_3mz21q | dating_advice | How do I do it? | Hi!
Im in school and a new year just started, so im in a completely new class now. There is this girl that I really like but I only know her for 2 weeks now and I want to start dating her, and I would like to get some more time in before i ask her out, but unfortunately there is anothet guy in my class (you could even call him a friend of mine) and he seems to like her aswell. (He massaged her neck the other day, which made me so fucking angry...)
And now im really unsure about what to do so she doesnt end up with him, and starts dating me.
Should i just ask her out now - as in skipping the attraction-building-part? | Know a girl for 2 weeks, is in my class, other guy likes her aswell, seems to be getting ahead of me, what do i do? |
t3_u105g | relationships | I need some extra advice! | Ok so my bf and i have been together over 2 years now and I really do love him but I feel as though I am not in love with him anymore. We are both 20 and went to high school together and got together our senior year.
We have had our occasional fights but anymore it seems every little thing ends up causing a fight. I have had many sit downs discussing our relationships trying to fix things and work things out and it seems to work for a little while.
On top of that it seems like in the past few months it has gone from a relationship back to a friendship. I feel like there is no physical attraction anymore i mean we haven't gone on dates in a while, little bedroom time, and little emotional bonding (if thats what you would call it). Its like any time we hang out it is pretty much sitting around playing video games which he is content with where as i am not; I like to be out and doing thing all the time it doesn't matter what it is. Also he has started calling me "dude".
I also feel like our personalities have changed he seems less ambitious about school and everything. he is content with living at home and doing nothing really until he is told to. Where as I am moving out of my house and starting my own life really, working hard at my job and school. Also my future career will probably have me moving around a lot and I don't think he understands that.
I feel like we been just stringing this along now.... sorry if i haven't given a lot of info. i am just really nervous and stressed. | My Bf and I have been together for 2yrs and it seems like things have really changed. I love him but i don't feel in love with anymore like we are just friends again. Do i try to work on it again or leave since there has been no improvements or future in sight? |
t3_3cjxqs | tifu | TIFU by sneezing on a stranger | This did happen today. Actually 10 minutes ago.
I was out getting my morning coffee across the street from my office building and waiting for the crosswalk to change. In this time I locked eyes with a beautiful brunette across the road. Instead of the usual darting my eyes away as quick as possible, I persisted. As did she. In what seemed like an eon of standstill eye fucking, it is time to cross paths, quite literally.
As we approached each other, I was about to say something to this magnificent creature, instead my nose decided it was time to sneeze. I released a tiny army of snot goblins all over this lady's arm. Out of sheer embarrassment I kept walking as she cursed at me. | Saw a good looking woman, sneezed on her and kept on keeping on. |
t3_tba81 | AskReddit | Is trying to block/filter porn websites to kids a good idea? | I read the other post in /r/WorldNews about regulating your kids instead of porn, and a lot of the comments seemed to agree with that idea.
I'm sure most of you grew up with the internet without *any* regulation whatsoever. You had the entire internet to explore, be it porn or whatever, but have you felt like it's been a hindrance or detrimental to your life growing up? I've been on Digg (before it 'updated'), 4chan, Reddit for years (even the deepweb a few times) and I've seen some crazy shit (more so on the latter three), but I haven't felt worse-off than if I hadn't seen those things. I'm not immoral, unsociable, I'm fairly normal in public, as are a lot of my friends who have seen similar things.
Surely it's better to let the kids/teenagers experience in things in their own way and time than to purposely hide all that content away, much of which can be shocking but brutally honest. It's a learning process that they teach themselves, possibly even a means to find oneself (e.g. I used to think that looking that the dicks in porn would make me gay, and that it had already made me bisexual. When I checked out *actual* gay porn, I couldn't stomach it. That's the kind of thing I mean, but of course it's not limited to porn or sexual orientation). | Is blocking porn actually going to make 'better' adults? Or should we let kids enjoy the full internet, for better or worse? |
t3_35dk3p | relationships | I [21m] am completely confused by my friend's [20f] behavior towards me. | I met a girl a few years ago. I flirted with her not knowing she had a boyfriend but eventually found out and stopped. After they broke up she started texting me and we ended up hooking up. Nothing too serious, but it was a little awkward after. I asked her to hang out a few times (not even in a purely sexual way, I was inviting her to fun things) and she pretty much kept denying me. So I gave up.
Recently, she keeps texting me out of the blue, which I'm pretty happy about. She seems to really put a lot of effort into the conversations which is surprising to me, but we have the same sense of humor so I like hearing from her.
The problem is, I always ask her to hang out/go do something near the end of the conversation, and she always gives me some non-committal answer, or changes the subject with some joke that doesn't even make any sense, or worst of all just sends me an irrelevant emoji. Then I never really hear from her for a while until she wants to talk again.
I just don't understand because she's the one texting me and flirting with me. And just for the sake of the argument, assume she actually is flirting with me. It's not really up to interpretation because sometimes its overtly sexual. Why would a person do something like that? I just don't get it. I can take rejection, and I can understand that not every girl is going to be attracted to me, or even most. But this is weird.
The only thing I can think of is that she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to hook up, but I've never been super aggressive with that. So I think it would be a little unfounded of her to be nervous about something like that. | Girl continually texts me first, flirts with me, and then when I ask her to do something in person she gets really weird and never truly gives me an answer. Why? |
t3_1lpj4h | relationships | Me[19F] with my [19M] bf have been together for 1 yr, uneasy about him rekindling a friendship with his first same sex love. | Me and my bf have been together for just over a year. Both open about being bisexual. He has in the past 'cheated' on me via skype sex. So I am still trying to trust him as much as I can. He and his best friend in high school apparently proclaimed their love for each other and decided not to act on it but fell out of touch when the best friend got a gf. Now that best friend has broken up with his girlfriend they are starting to talk more and it is making me feel uneasy? Am I being silly? I am really unsure whether I am overreacting so haven't brought it up with him. | Bf's first love was his highschool best friend, they have recently started to talk again which makes me feel uneasy. |
t3_19hrvr | self | I try to find guys to date who are most like my brother? | I don't know if this goes here, but this is the closet subreddit I could find that could help me with this.
Anyway the title basically says it all. The closer the guy is to resemble my brother, the higher the chance that I'll like and date him. It's not that I'm into my brother or anything, but he's been my best friend my whole life, a role model and I love him unconditionally and I know it's the same for him. We're only a year apart, so growing up everyone thought we were twins. Same eye color, hair color, and personality. We are majoring in the same thing, going to the same school, both graduating a year early with perfect grades. Basically, we're the same person, different gender.
So this is where the issue lies. Every quality my brother has, is what I want my boyfriend/future husband/whatever to have. The height, figure, and looks of my brother mirror what I want him to have as well.
And now I've started seeing this guy. He has the same figure, face, and qualities as my brother. But last night hanging out with him, we were talking and suddenly I realized it that I could actually see my brothers face instead of this guys face. It freaked me out a little bit, but didn't put me off.
I really need help with this one. I don't want to imagine my brother being this guy, but I know they're almost the same (except different ages and career fields)... I don't know. Does anyone else have this problem, or gone through something like this? I don't know what to think... | I find guys who are very similar to my older brother to be attractive (but I don't find my brother attractive) and now last night I saw my brothers face on the guy I'm seeing. |
t3_169i3x | relationships | Can't believe this happened. I (20'sF) woke up to closest friend (20'sM) touching me in my sleep. | So, to give a brief background, this guy and I were close friends who then went on to date for 3 years. We both got restless and wanted to see other people because we were still young, and had a mutual break-up. We moved on and dated other people, and remained close friends. (I currently am in a long-term serious relationship, and he just got out of a relationship a few months ago.)
Last night, this friend and I were hanging out, having some drinks, and watching TV. I can't usually stay up as long as he can, so I told him that I was going to my room to sleep, and that he could hang out watching TV as long as he wanted. I went to my bedroom and immediately fell asleep.
A short while later, I halfway woke up to him rubbing my behind. I didn't fully wake up, and he stopped, and I drifted back off to sleep. I was then awakened again to him touching me in a more private place. I still wasn't fully awake, and when I did wake up completely a moment later, I wasn't sure if I dreamed it or if it really happened. At this point, he had gone home.
This morning, I called him and confronted him about it-- and he admitted everything! Where the hell do I go from here?? I feel so weird and confused and angry. | My closest male friend and I were hanging out drinking. I went to my room to sleep, and woke up to him touching me. |
t3_3td11j | relationships | 32/M accused of being married by 30/F I'm seeing | Man, this one came out of the blue at me. I met this girl
online cause with everything going on in my life between
work and military, it was just the easiest way to go. We've
talked for a week or two, and then decided to meet. The
first meeting was okay. Very awkward for me since
I haven't been on a date in a while. We ended up staying
in contact for two months, then decided to meet again.
Things went much better this time. We had dinner,
great conversation, and even a hot little make out
after. That was two weeks ago. So we talked all last
week without a problem. Monday of this week, we were
talking and she seemed reserved. She said she had a
rough day and conversation stop there. Yesterday, all
I got back was one word responses. Today, she blasts on
her Snapchat story that she hates when married guys
try to get with her calling them losers at the end. While
yes I was married in the past, due to extreme events, I
am no longer. What do I do? Should I even bother pursuing
it, or just chalk it up to another loss? | girl I'm talking to thanks I'm married and now won't talk to me. What should I do? |
t3_21nart | relationships | Rough patch or breakup? | I'll keep it short:
Me (24M) and gf (23F) have been dating for just under three years. Relationship has been great, obvious rough patches sometimes but always get through them and are happy. Lately we have been fighting a lot and I feel like she doesn't have time for me. She has had a lot going on at work that has made her stressed so I am not sure if it's because of that or me. Because of the fights I hadn't had that overwhelming love feeling I usually have with her and have been starting small fights for no reason because I'm stressed about the relationship. Do you think this is just because we are going through a rough patch or are these signs that we should break up? What should I do? | Girlfriend and I have been fighting and I don't feel like spark. What do I do |
t3_fny86 | AskReddit | Just started a new job, and I feel like it's not for me..suggestions? | Been reading Reddit for over 2 years, have had a real account for over a year; throw away for obvious reasons.
Recently I started a new job. I'm a student, trying to pay off bills, and it was something much closer than my other job that could help me pay for school.
However, after working there for a while, I feel like it just isn't for me. I'm not comfortable in the environment that I work in, and my new manager kind of makes me uncomfortable..it makes me uncomfortable to work there. Everyone is really nice, I'm not trying to say they're bad people..I just don't feel comfortable with the pressure/environment that I'm working in.
Also, my school work is starting to pick up. I know I need to make money, but my school work (in my opinion) should always come first. I've had some jobs where I've done similar work, but I've never had this much pressure put on me for the situation. I have another job that I used to work at that I could still work at, on the weekends. I worked there long enough that they'd be fine with giving me some weekend hours.
I'm just not sure if I should continue with this job if I feel uncomfortable about it, and if I feel it's going to hinder my school work. I haven't talked to my parents about it, but I don't feel like they'd be too happy about it. | Just took a new job, feel uncomfortable and over-pressured to get school work done. Looking for advice. |
t3_1i3kvu | relationship_advice | So she [24f] wants me [27m] to meet her best friend tomorrow | I had a previous post about a girl that I have been casually dating for the last 3 months or so explaining how communication has dropped off a bit. We had a BLAST together on the 4th (she pulled out all the stops for dinner and got to watch the fireworks together) and up until then, all was well. All of a sudden, communication (texts) between us have dropped off quite a bit so I got a little concerned but not too much. It went from texting throughout the day every day to about 6-8 texts a day. I figured she was just busy and I still think that that's the case.
I had plans with her tonight but decided to cancel because I have a few personal things to clear up but when we spoke, she seemed concerned with me and if everything was ok. I didn't go into much detail and told her that I just needed a bit of time to clear my head. She then asked me if I was still going to be around on Friday because she really wants me to meet her best friend.
This morning, I confirmed with her that I will be free tomorrow evening and she was more than ecstatic. She keeps telling me how much she really wants me to meet her friend and thinks that her and I would get along really well. What exactly does this mean? We haven't talked almost all week and now she's wanting me to meet her best friend? | A girl that I have been seeing for a few months wants me to meet her best friend, even though we haven't really spoken for the past week. What does this mean? |
t3_2844sm | relationships | Me [28/M] with my GF [32/F] of 4 months, trying to get her motivated again | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. At the beginning of dating, she had just won a fitness competition for losing 60 lbs.. she was on this big fitness kick and I found that to be a HUGE motivator in my life. We made a workout pact and decided to make a couple of wagers as well. We stuck to them for a couple of weeks, even signing up for a 5K this next weekend.
Recently though, I've noticed her become more stressed out and she has been slacking. She confessed to me she gained 10 lbs since we've been dating (not a big deal, but still). She used to eat healthy, now she's eating more crap. I've tried to stop enabling when we go out, but it doesn't seem to do any good. I know she's a grown woman, but I'm trying to be supportive. She says she doesn't have enough time for everything in the day.
I've been running and lifting every day. I've lost 20 lbs because of it. And honestly, I feel a little guilty because this was supposed to be a journey together.
This isn't a relationship issue. I like her for who she is, but I want to see her back in the gym, achieving her goals. She's an office manager, a very independent woman, and sometimes stubborn in her ways.
Any suggestions? I've tried incorporating running dates, but she doesn't always follow through. | GF used to be big into working out, lost 60 lbs before me. Now, she's gained 10 lbs and seems to have fallen off track. How do I help motivate her back on her journey? |
t3_h3fwr | AskReddit | Reddit, is it wrong for me to apply for a job that I know I'm underqualified for? | I received an email from my university about a great paying position at about $20/hr as a Field School Coordinator. I haven't had a job in about 2 years, however, as I was mainly trying to truck through my 3rd year of university.
The position requires designing and delivering workshops as well as supervising and mentoring volunteers. The only thing that I had close to this was managing a paint company which I failed miserably at. I usually do really well in interviews however, so much so that I could probably get the job without knowing what the hell I'm doing. Everyone keeps telling me to apply anyways, but I'm worried I'm being slightly dishonest in doing so. | Good job offer, I'm underqualified but good at interviews, people pressuring me to apply anyways |
t3_2domgd | self | What to do with my parents' failed relationship engagement ring? | When I turned 16 my dad gave me the engagement ring that he had given my mother when they were together, they are obviously no longer together. When I was 16 I had no idea what to do with it so I just told my dad to keep it until later. Today he gave it to me and told me he didn't want to keep it anymore. Well now I am older and about to be engaged. I originally wanted to give the ring to my boyfriend so he could get some money for it and put that towards my ring. After discussing this with him, he said he would rather pay for it himself. I respect that, but I have no idea what to do with this ring. My dad is concerned I will one day want something from him and my biological mother's relationship but I feel quite strongly that I won't. I feel like I should just sell it, but I am afraid one day when I am much older I would want it for some crazy reason. My biological mother disgusts me and I can't bring myself to wear it or turn it into anything I would wear. Does it seem reasonable to just hold onto a ring I am not going to do anything with? | I have the engagement ring from my parents failed relationship and I am not sure what to do with it. |
t3_3xltgg | GetMotivated | [Text] Habitual is the real life equivalent of easy. | People who don't understand what it's like to be a highly effective person, to go to a gym or to run a successful business, to achieve something that you've decided to achieve, often say things like 'well it's easy for you. It's funny to know that 'it being easy' isn't really a thing. It's constant maintenance. It's diligence, persistence. It's a decision made daily and that decision is just as hard for those achieving as it is for those who only wish they were. But the decisions we make over and over again can become habitual, and that's the closest it ever really gets to being 'easy'.
As often as possible, choose the action most likely to render the results you desire. | It never gets easy. The closest we ever get to easy is habitual. |
t3_gkzir | AskReddit | Issues with a platonic friend. Should I keep trying or should I just leave it be? | Background: I am 22 she is 21 and we live together. We are both female.
Basically, whenever she is in a bad mood, it seems like I am the only one she feels free to be moody around. Initially I thought it was flattering, but now it's grown tiresome to be spoken to curtly and dismissively, even around mutual friends.
Her birthday was recently, and I thought I got her an amazing present, went out with her 2 nights in a row, etc. All I got by way of a thank you was a text message.
She frequently complains of not having many friends. Recently she has started bypassing me and asking my friends to hang out with her. She never invites me, it's usually my friend that gives me the scoop on the plans. I'm honestly glad that we can all be friends now, collectively, but the way she does it seems underhanded and distasteful.
Every time I've tried to ask her something along the lines of "are you mad at me or something," etc. she just shuts down or refuses to talk about it. But the reason why I am conflicted is because on some days she'll be perfectly chipper and seemingly happy to talk to me. And then the next day it's like I had done something to offend her (this is impossible because we are both students and don't necessarily interact every day). | my friend seems to have a chip on her shoulder concerning me. Should I try and get to the bottom of the issue or should I just give her space and let it go? |
t3_36dh7l | relationships | Parents have been married 42 years. Just found out my Dad [66 M] has a girlfriend. Advice needed. | My parents have been married 42 years and I am one of seven children. My Mum called me in a fluster to tell me she found out Dad has a girlfriend.
I was shattered at first, but then wasn't sure if I misunderstood what she was saying, as the details seemed a little ambiguous.
I immediately phoned my closest sister and we both cried. We weren't sure what was going on exactly because by the sounds of it Mum didn't have solid proof that this "girlfriend" actually existed.
A couple of weeks go by and I hear nothing else on the matter. It almost feels like maybe it was all a big misunderstanding, until my brother tells me that Dad had been gone all weekend - staying with this other woman.
I text my sister to confirm that this woman is definitely real. She replies back telling me to mind my own business. Unbeknownst to me, the day I called her to tell her, she immediately emailed Dad (she lives overseas) and asked him to tell her the truth. He did not deny that he does in fact have a girlfriend.
I honestly have no idea what to do. In one moment the marriage bond I grew up admiring was smashed to pieces. I am feeling a whole gamut of emotions - from shock to depression to ambivalence.
The thing that kills me the most is that my family is in total denial. My Mum is standing firm that she will not get a divorce. My other siblings do not seem to care so much - I don't think anyone has even told Dad that they know about this other woman.
I honestly don't know what to do; how to process this information and maybe how to help our family move on. We are all adults, I honestly bear no hard feelings towards my father (he's still my Dad after all) but I do feel like they need to be responsible for their actions. I would be much happier if they separated and sorted their shit out so that in five years time we might all be in a better place.
Do I just accept it? Does anyone have any helpful advice or similar experiences? | Parents married for 42 years, just found out my Dad has a girlfriend. Need advice on how to process this and where to go from here. |
t3_2jumxr | relationships | Should I [18F] sacrifice my happiness to be with my boyfriend [26M]? | My boyfriend and I have been together only a few months, but we get along extremely well and are both pretty serious about our relationship. He has recently told me he is going to be moving to Tom Price in January for work and has asked if I would like to come with him. I don't.
Tom Price is a town in Western Australia, and a 17hr drive up north from Perth (where I live). It's a mining town so basically red dirt, spiders and snakes galore. You can't even drink the water there.
The thought of moving to a place like this makes me uncomfortable as I'm a huge wimp when it comes to dangerous creatures, can't stand high temperatures and get quite lonely easily. I have a stable job, a large amount of friends and family in Perth and have not lived anywhere else in my life.
I'm open to experiencing new things but I know I will be unhappy in Tom Price. I've also been in a LDR before and have not coped very well, which is why I am stuck making this decision. I don't want my boyfriend to think I am not making an effort to be with him because I really would like this to work out for us.
He will be there for at least a year, maybe even two. After the two years are up he is moving back to Miami where I have no problem moving to. By this time I will hopefully have a fair amount of money saved and obviously will be much more mature and experienced. | Boyfriend moving to rural town and wants me to move with him. I'm a spoiled city girl who's terrified by the thought of moving but would prefer not to be in a long distance relationship. |
t3_t5byv | AskReddit | 1967 Vox Jaguar | Do any redditors out there have one of these or know anything about them? I'm trying to re-solder two of the switches, but I can't figure out the wire gauge used. I tried using 20 (AWG) but it was a little too big, and when I turned it on and played it, the sound was cutting in and out. I want to find the right wire to use, so I don't ruin this awesome instrument. But the fact that it was made in 1967 in Italy, and I'm in 2012 in the US, makes me wonder how easy it's gonna be to find the right parts... | I'm trying to find out the wire gauge in the rocker tabs. |
t3_4x6ieb | relationships | I [24F] am struggling to handle my new roommate's [25M] one-upper attitude. | You know those kind of people? The people who always have to be right, who always know what they're talking about, and always have the last say? That is my new roommate, to the T! I recently moved in with my awesome S.O. and we decided to rent a house with some friends and have the Master. Everything is going swell with everyone... except for my one-upper roommate; lets call him M. M is constantly hijacking conversations, inserting his "always correct" opinion into any discussion and it is getting on my LAST NERVE.
Here is an example of one of the MANY conversations that have been driving me insane: My roommates and I are talking about wine. M says "oh wine always gives you a hangover. Every time". I casually say "I love wine! Although, I can't say I've ever had a hangover from it." M says "well that is because you're not drinking enough!" I say "Haha maybe, but I think a bottle and a half gets me sufficiently buzzed". M retorts "oh well I drink 3 bottles of wine and always have a hangover. you just aren't drinking enough".
It is always the most trivial shit that he get's up in arms about. A casual conversation between friends turns into a stupid rebutted back and forth, for no reason!! I have talked with my S.O. and my other roommates about it in private, but all they say is "well yeah... thats just how M is!". I just think that is a lame ass excuse for a man with severe only child syndrome.
Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with this behavior? Is it something I just have to let roll off my shoulders, or does anyone else have an ulterior approach? Frankly, I am on the verge of snapping at him more than I already have and I want to preserve my composure now before I flip out. | My roommate has one-upper/only child syndrome and it's driving me INSANE. Advice? |
t3_3rpmpj | relationships | My (28f) Boyfriend (29) Made out with his ex girlfriend | Background information: my boyfriend of 6 months has a crazy ex-girlfriend whose number he blocked form his cell phone. She was part of the reason of why he ended up having a nervous breakdown and spending a couple weeks in the hospital. Told me about his bad of a person she is...blah blah blah.
Now, he got a job 2.5 hours away from where we lived and asked me to come with him. So I quit my job (get a new one) and move in with him. First time either of us has lived with anyone and it is something I really wanted to do with him even though it has only been six months. We've been living together for about 2 weeks now, but for about a month I had a feeling that he was being shady. I look at his FB messenger yesterday and found that he has been chatting with the crazy ex. He says for about a month and they met up once, went for a walk together, held hands and made out. He says he messed up big time, doesn't want to lose me and wants to work things out. He says he needed closure on their relationship and he was being selfish. I want to stay and work things out with him, am I being dumb for this. Should I end our relationship over this? | boyfriend of 6 months made out with ex girlfriend, regrets big time and I want to work things out. |
t3_2q9rph | relationships | Me [25 M] with my friend [21 F] of 8 yrs, I worry about her terribly but don't know what to do. I'm desperate. | Hi all.
Ever since I've known my closest friend she has been driven and a bit highly strung. However, she has only gotten worse over the years, or at least not better.
She immediately joined a bunch of societies at university and the huge amount of work required for them has caused her to fail many of her subjects, causing great stress.
All of her boyfriends/guys she's seen have been really gross and sleazy except one, and she always has bad breakups, causing stress. By way of example, the last guy she dated was due to go away (permanently) in 3 months. But she still dated him for some fucking reason. I tried to warn her that he was a sleaze, and that he was using her, but she ignored me and then became very angry at *me* when he inevitably broke up with her.
More recently she has finished university, but is now working a shitty street marketing job that requires 12 hour shifts, often with no breaks. She works 40-50 hours a week.
I have hardly seen her in 2 months and my other friends haven't seen her properly in at least 6. She cancels on every plan she makes with our group at the last possible second due to tiredness. If she does come, she immediately passes out on the couch, doesn't engage with anyone and eventually goes home early.
I don't know what to do. I think she needs serious therapy. I know it might not sound that serious to many of you but she has really changed from her bubbly, energetic old self and I think she's honestly killing herself slowly. It makes me terribly sad and I can't stop worrying about it.
I can't bear the thought of doing nothing. I love her so much and I really want to help her but I'm not sure how to do it.
What can I do? | best friend slowly killing herself, can't seem to see it. I don't know how to help and I'm really desperate. |
t3_2oueg5 | legaladvice | My car got stolen from my mechanics - South Australia | Hi guys,
Firstly, thank you. I appreciate any support/help put forward.
Okay, a couple weeks ago I took my vehicle to get serviced at a mechanic. While it was being serviced, he left the vehicle running, with the keys in it, unlocked, outside his premises.
Naturally it got stolen. The car was taken, contents were stolen, my keys (including my house keys) were taken, as well as receipts containing my personal address.
I only have 3rd party insurance on my vehicle, and I explained to the mechanic that I would be following it up with him and his insurance.
Now, I just got an email saying that they will not be accepting the insurance claim because there were things I cannot provide receipts for (stuff I've paid cash for, and never thought to keep receipts)
When I spoke to him about it, he said that he told his insurance company that the vehicle was locked and secured inside the premises when it was stolen. Not that he left it outside, with the keys in it.
My question is, do I notify the insurance company that he in actual effect was negligent so that I am able to get my property returned/compensated? | Mechanic lied about his responsibility, and now insurance isn't covering me for my loss. |
t3_3ub56u | tifu | TIFU:Drank Eggnog with Milk and Coffee | This happened around 5 miniutes ago, and Im starting to feel it. I drank some coffee with egg nog ealier in the day and it tasted pretty good. So I felt like it was a good idea to have some more again just now, however this time I grabbed a much larger cup (around 2x bigger) and put half as much coffee and much more egg nog. However, I ran out of eggnog while pouring and decided it would be a great idea to top it off with non-fat milk. Worst decision ever... I got most of the way through the glass thinking it was pretty good until I got gas. I now feel like a shit filled balloon, with a splitting headache. Wish me luck. | for shits and giggles: Drank eggnog with milk and coffee, now I feel like shit. |
t3_31lyuw | relationships | My [38 M] date with a hot [21 M] went great, I think... | So I'm a 38 year old gay man and just had the best night I've had in a very long time. I answered an ad on Craig's List a few days ago from a younger guy looking for a hairy/chubby older guy. I'm not bad looking but my weight has always been an issue, I'm 5'8. about 230 pounds. I'm self conscious about it and the gay "community" frowns upon us chubby guys. His ad was well written and it seemed genuine. I'm a hairy guy so I knew he'd like that, cause we had talked about physical attraction a little when we initially texted each other.
Boy, was I surprised when we met! He was so hot, 6'1, 205 pounds, and I forgot to mention, he's 21 years old! The attraction was mutual and we hit it off famously. We had dinner and came back to my place where we proceeded to throw ourselves at each other the minute we walked in the door. He's a very good kisser and very passionate and sexy and all I could ask for in physical attraction. We didn't fully have sex, just a lot of very heavy petting with no clothes on. It was wonderful really.
My question to everyone is this...What are your opinions on the age difference and just the dynamic in general? I also don't know how to proceed without scaring him off. I've never dated anyone that much younger than me. He seems mature for his age, has a part time job at a hospital and is going to school to be a teacher. So he's not lacking in the motivation department. I texted him about 30 mins after he left to make sure he made it home and told him I hoped we'd get to spend more time together, very simple and to the point.
I have all these thoughts running through my head about how great it would be to be in a real relationship again and it would definitely be a confidence booster. I'm so happy and in lust and just wanted to share it with anyone who would read. Please comment on anything, I could use the help or a reality check. | 38M had a great date with a 21M and want advice on age difference and how to proceed without scaring him off. |
t3_l0sp8 | jobs | Advice for someone who is going to be hiring a subordinate for the first time? | So, I was recently told that my company (a tech start up in the cable industry) is going to be hiring a second support engineer to work under me. I've been part of the selection process in the past at other jobs, but now, for the first time, I'm going to be interviewing someone I'm going to manage.
To make things more difficult, all the people I interview are likely going to be both older than I am (I'm 28), more diversely experienced than I am (I have a somewhat narrow job history) and worst of all, likely won't have the bulk of knowledge/skills that we're looking for.
I've been the senior engineer before, and I've been in charge before...I was a sergeant in the Army, but only over people who were legally obligated to do exactly what I say. I have a pretty good idea how I'd interview someone if I knew that they already had a general understanding of what we do...but since pretty much none of my candidates will have a background in this, it's not like I can ask "At exactly 4AM we start seeing a very large number of error 0x12 (18), walk me through your troubleshooting process".
So yeah: | Been in charge before, but never been a manager. Going to be interviewing/hiring someone who is going to report to me directly. Any advice for a first time (civilian) boss, and how to handle interviewing candidates? |
t3_30d1uw | relationships | I (F21) started talking with a guy (M22) and we really hit it off, when suddenly, silence... | I've met this guy a few months ago in a bar, he's a friend of a friend and we really hit it off. We exchanged fb and numbers and started talking often online. We both had exams in this period so we couldn't meet up, but he was the one who asked if we could go for a drink (I got out of a relationship a few months earlier and wanted to take things easy with dating...)
Exams finally passed and we saw each other again during a party. We talked untill the bar closed and we both had to look for our friends. He was a bit drunk and the next day he apologized and asked for a second 'date' so he could make up for his drunkness (it didn't bother me at all, he wasn't wasted, just happy drunk).
So we planned a second date, it went great and we kissed in the end, I really started to like this guy. Since then messages have been getting less frequent and he told me he has a lot of work for school (wich I understand), we saw each other a week later on another party, and the next midday he came over to my place and again we talked for hours. When we had to say goodbye we shared a very passionate kiss, but I don't like to kiss in public so I broke it off first and we said our goodbyes.
I asked my friend (and his) and he told me he's just a nightmare to get a hold of, but I send him last week (when he went out, my bad), to meet up, but he hasn't replied yet. I don't want to look needy so I haven't send him another text. should I? | Guy I like stops messaging me, but when we are together I get a lot of flirty/romantic hints from him...now what? |
t3_1rt3hw | tifu | TIFU by being so lost in the moment of eating a pasty that I shat myself in public. | Ok, this happened about 5 hours ago, and to clarify let me just say that at the time I was incredibly stoned.
So I'd just finished smoking a couple of joints with some mates at the park and was heading back home when I passed Gregs. Now normally I would've just walked on gone home and had my munchie snacks there, but today I was far too high to process that. So I waltzed in to Gregs, spent about 40 minutes too long deciding on my pasty, struggled to count out the money, then wandered outside with my snack.
I walked about 10 yards down this busy highstreet, took a bite, bent my knees, and shat my pants. I don't know why my brain thought that would be a good idea, I don't know why I didn't stop myself. All I know is that it lead to the worst walk home I've ever had and an extremely filthy pair of pants. | I was high and wanted a snack thinking it would make my night great, made it shitty instead. |
t3_mbses | AskReddit | Reddit, what are your wackiest, craziest most unbelievable travel stories? | One of my most unbelievable - I was on a trip to Boston, Massachusetts in late 2009 with my parents (was living with them at the time). For our second day there, I really wanted to go see Fenway Park. However, as there was an ALDS game there against the Angels, I decided to go at noon as I was hoping to avoid the crowds.
When I got there, however, there were thousands and thousands of people around - huge tailgate party. I guess I hadn't checked properly, because game time happened to be at noon. Since I was there, I figured I might as well have a look at Fenway from the outside as much as possible (at this point the game was about to start, as I could hear the national anthem from inside the stadium).
When I got near the Bleachers section on the outside of the stadium, I noticed an open ticket booth with a lineup of 10-15 people waiting there. Sensing a possible opportunity to score tickets, I got in the lineup.
All of a sudden, a cop comes up to me and asks me: "Is this the lineup to claim season tickets, or to buy tickets when you don't have any?" As I didn't have any tickets, I told him that I thought it was the lineup to buy some.
**HE THEN OPENED HIS POCKET AND HANDED ME TWO TICKETS TO A PLAYOFF GAME AT FENWAY.** And said good game. **WHAT THE HELL.**
It was an amazing experience, I got to sing sweet Caroline, it was such a beautiful day, and it was a great game too, even though the sox lost. Still haven't figured out exactly why a cop gave me tix. | Some cop gave me free tickets to a fenway playoff game outside the park |
t3_1ut4hf | relationships | Need advice on mending relationship with girlfriend | I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 1/2 months. The relationship is long distance, and I am active duty military. The past month has been very hard for me, struggling with depression, and it has hurt my relationship. I have become a stage 5 clinger. I recently took a step back and saw what I was doing and today I apologized and I told her I was aware of what I was doing and I am going to stop. She said the relationship has been very straining, and rough for her. She is still my girlfriend and I want to try to fix the damage. We only make small talk as of now (10 txts a day max). I like this girl and I don't want to end it. Long distance is hard enough and I want to try to mend this new bruise. I have never done this, and I don't know how to try to fix it. She knows about my depression, and like I said I told her today I just became aware of what I was doing and I am stopping. | I damaged my relationship by being to clingy, and would like advice to help repair it. |
t3_2jycgs | tifu | TIFU by not bringing an extra pad | Reddit, I do a lot of stupid things, but for the first time I think I did something that counts as a f**k up. And this even happened today
Some background: I go to my grandma's house every Tuesday night for dinner. I get there at about 4:30 and leave at about 8:15. And during that "special time of the month" I have a heavy flow, so to speak.
I'm on the second day of my period, so I was wondering if I would need an extra pad while at my grandma's house. After some thinking I decided I could last without one.
I got home half an hour ago and went to shower. Using the bathroom before hand I saw some spots in my pants where I had a leak. S**t. I was chilling in the computer room which is also a guest room with my brother before we left, so I can only pray I didn't leave a spot on the blanket I was sitting on... Or the seat in my dad's car. | when in doubt, bring an extra fking pad. Also fml. |
t3_2ze69o | relationships | I [21m] and my partner [18f]of 3 years have had a bad few months, ended up with her getting drunk and cheat. | Basically, I'm an student ambassador at my college, and I was kinda flirting another girl who was also an ambassador, partner found out, we sorted our differences and so on. Fast forward 5 months, I have gotten back into pc gaming recently and my partner hasn't really mentioned anything about me gaming while she is over and relaxing on the bed.
Today I found out she met a guy from work behind my back for a drink and to get things of her chest, things she hasn't told me such as that I don't give her enough attention, and that I don't show her I love her and that kinda stuff in public.
(Now I'm not a person to be like that in public as I hate others doing it in people's faces so I didn't want to be hypocritical.)
Back to the point of this... She got drunk after a point and said Co worker came onto her, they kissed and she said no, but she also felt confused as she felt someone else cared for her and that she felt like she had attention, and she went back in and kissed him, followed by him fingering her.
Now she told me the day after about what happened and i got pretty angry inside, but to keep calm I kept it in and just thought about what she said And she told me it won't happen again as she felt wrong straight after it and felt sick herself. Now I am not one to just walk away from things when it gets tough, so I agreed to talk over it all with her like an adult, and we are staying together to patch things back up and have agreed to give her more attention and so on then I did before to see how things go, and that she has to obviously earn my trust again and so on.
I just want to know if I have been mature and made the right decision to stay with her and if anyone has been through this and if it got any better? Tia. | no one's perfect and I did something bad, sorted it out, went back to gaming, and partner felt neglected and met a friend and stuff happened. |
t3_lqkad | needadvice | I had a small cavity that my dentist made significantly worse and now I'm stuck paying a $350 bill.. please help! | I'm a longtime lurker but I have this problem and have no idea what to do. For the past several months I had a small toothache that would appear every few weeks, wasn't really painful or distracting, and didn't really affect me beyond the very slight and very occasional pain. I decided to go to my longtime dentist, who said it was a cavity and quickly filled it. I thought that would be that, but my toothache got worse - it went from being practically nonexistent to present ANY TIME I eat something crunchy or sweet or brush my teeth. I've gone back to him twice, and he can't figure out what the problem is, but also doesn't seem to really be concerned or say anything besides "Hmm, that's strange. I definitely filled your cavity."
Now here comes the part I really need help with: I got a bill for $350 - apparently he is now out of network (no one ever informed me of this), and because of this, insurance didn't cover a large chunk of it AND can't appeal on my behalf/contest the charges. Now I'm stuck being able to eat only on one side of my mouth and having to pay $350.
Reddit, I feel like I shouldn't have to pay a bill for a service that made my pain significantly worse rather than better. I'm probably going to go to a different dentist to get this fixed, but don't know what to do about the $350. Do you have any advice for me as to what to do? | Dentist made my tiny cavity into a big problem, now I'm stuck paying $350 for it. |
t3_48e1vw | relationships | I [24M] have been dating this girl [22F]for a couple of weeks now. She has a close friend that is a guy. Should I be worried? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 weeks now. Her and I are actually doing really well together but she does have a friend that is a guy. I'm not the jealous type at all but something's recently that have been happening lately have been kind of bothering me. I work a 3rd shift job that are 12 hour shifts with really limited breaks. I love to talk to her on my breaks but today she said that she is hanging out with him right now. I'm cool with that. I text her saying I'm on break and all she says is that " I'm watching a movie with "him" right now. I will talk to you later." She also said he is anal about phones while they are hanging out. I asked her about this whole thing a couple days ago and she said they would never date and they are just friends. Am I looking too deep into this or should I question it further. | New girl friend has a guy friend that seems a bit too close to. Blew me off to talk with him. |
t3_29v0l3 | relationships | Me(20m) got broken up with by my ex(17f), leaves me for a guy(31m) she met on reddit | We were in a relationship for 2 years, and when we first broke up she said it was mainly for me to get my shit together/be more productive. And for a lot of reasons it was and is.
The last couple weeks I've been getting over her and I've been making progress in myself. Then the other day one of her had gotten tired of what she was pouring me through and told me she was talking to some one else. When she said it was a guy from reddit i knew who it was, she had talked to me about him before and how amazing and cool he was.
Never thought much of it,and that was months ago that she began talking to him, while we dating. I guess over the last few months they have been talking, real deep meaningful stuff and how all the stuff he has gone through.
To be honest he sounds like an amazing person, and if she wants him then i want what her heart wants for her, even if it's not me.
I just feel so abandoned and betrayed, she ids amazing and unique and its life i guess. I don't know what I'm asking for but other than progressing forward for myself, what should i be doing? It kills me and her and him keep popping into my head.
Pm me if you want to know more i guess, i feel so lost.... | girlfriend left me for an amazing guy 14 years older she met on reddit, where do iput myself and my thoughts to get over this? |
t3_1aiwjk | relationships | My boyfriend [21] hasn't made me [f 18] orgasm, but I dont mind... should I tell him? | Okay, so I've been going out with my guy for about 6 months, we've been having sex since 1 month into the relationship. He was my first, so the first couple of times I thought it was probably normal not to orgasm since your body is still only getting used to it and whatnot.
5 months later and I've still never had an orgasm.
To be honest, I genuinely don't care. I love our relationship, we click so well together, orgasms aren't the most important thing. The reason I'm concerned is because I've been lying to him, faking orgasms, and he's starting to notice. | Boyf hasnt made me orgasm, I've been faking the whole time. To tell or not to tell? |
t3_j37v4 | AskReddit | Looking for a book referred to by C.S.Lewis. | In Lewis's 'The Great Divorce', he acknowledges his ideas stemmed from a book he once read about a man who traveled in time. He explained that in this book, even though the man had traveled to the past, he was unable to make any changes to the physical world. In fact, occurrences happened (just as they normally did) whether he was in the way or not. For example, if it was raining on the day he went back, the rain would move right through him if he was standing in it.
Lewis himself said he couldn't remember the title, so I have little hope anyone on reddit will know. But what the hell, it's worth a shot. | Some details of the book are above. So if you want to help, read them. |
t3_xus0q | AskReddit | I got rained on by maggots yesterday Reddit. What is the most disgusting and unbelievable thing that has happened to you? | My boyfriend and I are enjoying a danish pastry and strawberry beverage in mildly pleasant weather on the top steps of [this] We watch tourists and talk about why galleries might be closed on Mondays instead of Sundays when I feel a drop of rain on the back of my head. I pat my hair down expecting to feel a wetness. There is none, but my hair often likes to absorb small amounts of liquid without trace so we continue the discussion unaffectedly.
'Rain drops' continue, then something lands directly on top of my head. It ricochets off onto the cardigan at my side; present because of my underestimation of the day's mildness. It looks initially like a little squirming caterpillar, which would be ordinary as there are trees overhead.
We identify it upon further inspection as a maggot. We look around and realise that the step we are sat on is sprinkled with little writhing grey maggots. There is a dead pigeon on top of the memorial. The carcass is being devoured by hundreds of maggots that are plummeting gradually over the edge onto our unaware heads. When we tell other people sat happily on the steps they do not understand or believe until they also see the maggoty step.
Maggaaamaggamaggots maggot. | Emotionally abused dying pigeon lays to rest atop a monument that people like to sit under so that the maggots that feast on its body fall onto those below as a final act of vengeance against our cruel species. |
t3_quuux | AskReddit | Reddit, what's been your best concert experience ever? | I'll start....
My best one would have to be a Streetlight Manifesto show in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
1) They're opening band was such a blast (Larry and His Flask). These people were amazing, and their energy live was like taking an a shot of pure adrenalin.
2) The entire crowd started singing their songs to them before they went on stage. I've never heard of any other bands besides Streetlight being sung to.
3) Streetlight's show was impeccable. They were oozing with energy and intensity throughout the set of songs.
4) The crowd had such a comradeship. Everyone was skanking, pushing and pulling, running around. They helped up everyone that fell, and returned lost objects like shoes. This particular show, some dude lost his glasses and the entire pit stopped to look for them. Someone found it and the entire pit cheered him on, then continued skanking. | My best concert experience was a Streetlight Manifesto show in South Florida. From the opening act, to energetic and friendly crowd, to the intensity and sheer fun of the headliner. Best concert to date. |
t3_o1zm4 | cats | Inappropriate Peeing Advice? | Not sure if this subreddit is exactly for this, but I suppose it can't hurt!
So, I adopted a cat at a shelter about 4 months ago (Pixie). She was super sweet adult black kitty and a quite bald from a flea allergy, so I figured I would adopt her instead of a in-high-demand kitten.
I already had a cat (Squirtle) who was miserable being an only animal, and gaining a lot of weight. They still haven't quite bonded, but they tolerate each other very well. Squirtle is definitely benefiting from the new cat, she's lost weight and still is morose, but she doesn't lie around awaiting death dramatically anymore.
Then Pixie's behavior started changing after about a month of adjustment. She starting peeing in the bathtub, then the bath rugs, then the bed, then the regular rugs, and more peeing on our bed. We thought it was a behavioral problem, bought an extra litter box that was shallower (bringing the total up to 3, one big, one covered and one small and shallow). We put her in the bathroom while away for school both because we weren't comfortable leaving Squirtle and her alone, and to prevent her from peeing on things.
We took her to the vet when she peed on my boyfriend twice during the night (something she absolutely never did before). Turns out she had a pretty bad UTI. Got that fixed with antiboitics, and she didn't pee on anything that week. When she finished them she resumed peeing on the bed, but no where else. We took her to the vet again and again, for blood tests, urine tests and ultra sounds. Turns out she just has a high pH in her urine.
So now, this is behavioral.
She's on a supplement for bladder strengthening, and I ordered some Feliway and some Nature's Miracle which are on route to my house. We've been using copious amounts of vinegar to clean everything she pees on, and she hasn't repeated peeing on anything other than the bed.
Any other advice? What worked for your cats if you had a similar problem? (She's definitely urinating, not spraying.) | My cat is peeing on things. Help. |
t3_agm74 | AskReddit | Why are we here? | I know this is a deep philosophical question, but I have reasoned myself into a corner and come to some conclusions that I just cannot accept, though I am not sure why.
Why are we here? / What is the purpose of life?
I have been thinking about this more and more lately and have come to look at the question as more of what can I do to add value to life? Or, what can I do to give my life purpose? My problem is that anytime I try to follow this logic though, I end up with some answers that I think are non-sense or that I feel I cannot accept into my life.
I start with a statement like "I want to help people". Then I reduce it to "What can I do to help the survival of the human race?". But then I end up with the fact that the universe has already doomed the human race, first with the death of the sun, and then with the heat death of the universe. When that occurs it wipe out everything that has ever been and every memory of everything. From this you end up with a conclusion that no matter what anyone does, it adds no value to the system as it is a zero sum game. This leads me to the conclusion that Nothing in life has any value and that there is no difference between being a doctor and a murder/rapist because in the end nothing matters. I just cannot live my life like this.
When I try to reduce the above argument, I realize that I am operating under the assumption that things can only have value such that they add value to something else, but I haven't been able to come up with a way to convince myself that anything has an intrinsic value.
Please reddit help me out of my dead end. I'm sure there is something wrong with my logic because I just cannot accept that how we live our lives and our actions don't matter one iota. | – If nothing matters in the end, what is the point of anything. Why not just be a hedonistic criminal? |
t3_3qaj6z | tifu | TIFU by cooking with oil for the first time | (This happened about a month ago) So I got this great idea of trying to cook a dinner for my girlfriend since she does all the cooking. I found a recipe that sounded good and went to the store to get everything. I was going to try and cook steak in a pan (we live in apartment that won't allow a grill, which I know how to cook on, not a pan). I knew cooking with oil could cause a fire but since I've never cooked with it before I had no idea how. The recipe was very vague on the process. My interpretation of what it said was to heat the pan up then apply the oil which is where I fucked up. I turned the heat onto high and once then pan heated up I applied the oil. Within a second the whole pan was on fire. My first reaction was to sprint to the couch and grab the blanket to cover it and cut off the oxygen to the fire (the one thing I did know was water will make it 10x worse). The blanket put the flames out but was pouring smoke out everywhere filling our apartment. I grabbed the pan with an oven mitt and put it outside. After cleaning everything up and trying everything I could to get the smell out my girlfriend informed me that all I needed to do was cover it with another pan and that I was not allowed to cook again (she was taking a nap till the fire alarms were going off). My after thoughts of the situation was maybe I should have taken a cooking class in high school or my first year of living on college campus. | almost burned my apartment down trying to cook with oil in a pan |
t3_acnna | AskReddit | Reddit I come to you for advice (job related). Possible release of major frustration | I've been working for a rather large company for the last two years. It was basic customer service crap, answering phones, etc. Monotonous, but it paid the bills. I quickly grew disenchanted when the "promises" of upward mobility within the company turned out to be crap. My manager, who was pretty decent, went to a different team and the new one we got is a pretty big bitch. Essentially her role is to weed the team and get rid of as many of us as she can for "cost management." She started riding me pretty hard about work and yes I would actually do my work, I wasn't slacking. However, it got to the point where she was clearly playing favorites, and the last person to call her on it, wound up without a job.
This all came to an abrupt end last thursday morning. I got to work in the morning and I had yet another email from her and her brown-nosing lackey about something I supposedly didn't do (which I did). I walked out. I don't completely need the job and have something else lined up now, but because I just packed my shit and left without saying anything, things are unclear with the company. Manager keeps calling and leaving me messages and now has resorted to emailing me to my personal address.
Reddit, do I do the grown up thing, and reply to her email or call her and just say I quit, or do I write her an email and completely tell her off and possibly copy some of my ex co-workers. Keep in mind that the company has no way of hurting me anymore. | company/manager treated me like crap. got fed up and walked out. manager keeps calling/emailing. Should I be a grown up, or tell her off in an email like I always wanted to? |
t3_2f1mzi | relationships | Me [20/F] with my mother [50?/F] won't talk to me after boob job | Iam about to enter my final year at Uni. I live at home durinf the summers but live across thecountry when I am at school. In spring of last year, I had breast augmentation surgery. This was elective, so I had to pay for it, but I had been thinking about this for a REALLY long timeand it was really important to me. I realized how much time was going by without finding a meaningful partner and many of my other girlfriends at Uni now have SO's, and I figured I could do everything I could to make myself more appealing. I mean, also I'm doing more substantial stuff like yoga and meditation and trying to be more social with the greek communities here and do community service stuff. So its a whole betterment kick Ive been on.
Anyway, since it was an elective surgery, and because my parents are EXTREMELY conservative, I paid for it myself out of my PLUS that I took out. So it's my choice, my money. Anyway, I did this while at Uni actually last spring. I did it privately, my body, so I didn't tell the family about it because I knew they would freak. Anyway, I had to come home eventually and they did FREAK and actually caused some serious problems. My mother isnt even speaking to me anymore and my father barely is. I just tried to ignore that for a few weeks, but then eventually my mom said that she was so upset that I had to move out! Now she is threatening to not pay for my senior year, which means I will have to take out more loans. I really needed this surgery and I think my mom is being unreasonable. Luckily, I was able to stay with a friend until school opens up on Tuesday but anyway, I wanted to ask if anyone has any tips on how to make my mother understand that this is my body, my decisions and I needed this?? She cries all the time whenever I try to call and just basically hangs up. Thats such a crazy over reaction. I am getting good grades, and Im not a fuck up so why disown me? I wonder if anyone else has had elective surgery and had it cause such drama.
Thanks | Mom wont talk to me after boob job, says Im being vain and irresponsible, she doesnt understand that this is something that will enhance my life, and is only going to help me |
t3_1w5pro | relationships | How do I [19/F] tell my SO [21/M] that I don't need him to spend money on me? | We have been in a long distance relationship for about 4 months, but we have known each other for around 2 years, me in Scotland him in England, so not dramatically far but still around £100 for each trip to see one another.
He has a job, but it's just in a pub, he doesn't make a fortune. I'm a full time university student, but I still have some money to throw around, i'm just very careful with it.
He always wants to "treat" me. He would buy me anything I wanted if I let him, and he refuses to let me pay for anything when we're out together. It's infuriating. Earlier in a skype conversation when I brought it up, he said "Its about me wanting to express my love". I told him he doesn't need to spend money on me to express his love for me, and he said he doesn't need to but he WANTS to.
I've always been careful with money. I'm not spoilt, I don't ask for things though my family are well-off, and if I want something I save for it myself, carefully. Him throwing money at me kind of makes me feel... cheap? I can't describe it. It kind of hurts that he feels like he has to buy me things.
I have talked to him about this multiple times, especially after my Birthday a week ago, when he took me out for dinner with the agreement we would split it 50/50, he refused after we had eaten and paid for it with his card. £55. I was pretty mad.
Tonight was an argument about valentines day, he wants to take me somewhere expensive for dinner when I go down to London that weekend. I refused and said a cafe or takeaway would suit me fine, and be a lovely treat, but he gets very defensive. I can't seem to get it through to him. Any advice? | My boyfriend buys me stuff I don't need, how do I get him to stop without hurting his feelings? |
t3_b57z9 | AskReddit | Questions about setting up a media center network that wont make my eyes bleed... | I have setup a network in my home with the purpose of sharing all media i have across all computers connected to my network. I have 3 desktops and one laptop running Win7, a Xbox 360, and a macbook pro running Snow Leopard. This was working ok provided all machines that had the media i was after on it were powered up, I knew there was a better way.
I recently added an old Dell to the mix, I slammed a few spare hard drives in it, setup freeNAS and off it went. I have 3 drives, all setup as individual shares. I have since moved all media to these drives, shared them as SMB shares, mapped all windows machines to them, and setup the mac to be happy. It works well! ...kinda.
My main streaming device is the Xbox 360 as it is the only high def source to my HDTV. i had been using Windows Media Center Extender to stream data from my other machines. For whatever reason, when it is connected to the desktop media center, it can see its shares, the windows7 drive shares from other machines, but NOT the FreeNAS shares that the desktop can see and utilize just fine. This infuriates me. Anyone have any similar issues they were able to resolve? | Xbox 360 cannot see NAS drives, even when using WMC Extender connected to a machine that can. |
t3_qd05t | AskReddit | So reddit, how much does your college REALLY matter? Also what are some skills that you should learn to be successful? | So basically I'm 17 now and going to college this year. I'm an above average student with a love for physics math and mostly computer science. I live in India. I've never had alcohol, drugs or even a girlfriend mostly because of my studies. I love knowledge. I believe it to be power. My favourite phrase "if knowledge is power then a god I am"
I love logical things and love just thinking about stuff. That's what leads to my love for the subject. Primarily that you can be given the basic tools and the rest has to be done by you. I LOVE programming and have taken it up at a school and now college level.
Enough about me onto my question. How much does the name of your college really matter? I know that it'll provide you with your starting salary but what about after that? Like does it really dictate your life? Now I ask because I got into college. Now this college is a fairly new one(now in its 4th year) whereas the course itself is 4 years so no batch has passed out. Now the college is NIIT University and has epic credentials. Like the head of the college is the head of NASSCOM for eg. Now since no batch has passed there's no rating for the college. But I've talked to poeple and have received positive replies also their technology and campus are good.
Since it doesn't have a rating my friends are apprehensive of the college. Also my mother is egging me to give the competitive exams. Now this is the basis of my question. These colleges are very old. Hence they are revered. However there course is actually not that beneficial. Like my cousin went to IIT the best college in India. However he did industrial engineering but now has a job as a consultant for software. What the actual ****? That makes no sense to me. I fail to comprehend the sense in that. Now getting a computer science course is really hard as its first come first serve and most poeple want it chase apparently it pays the most again regardless of what they want
So please end this confusion. Tell me what should be done | read the text please. If you can't then answer the title |
t3_2hnbpi | relationships | Only have a gf very few close friends 28 m | Is this normal? I'm getting hit with depression, feeling lonely without a solid social circle. I lost mine many years ago after not staying in touch due to some real bad depression and anxiety...
Gf and I don't really have many friends, we've lost touch with many, and spend most of our time just with each other when we hang out. I have a problem developing and sustaining authentic friendships. I am introverted by nature, once I feel someone has labeled me as quiet or introverted I find it hard to be myself around them. I'd like to have a better social life (doesn't matter if it is just me or my gf also included) but find it very hard to develop into a regular socializing/hanging out routine with people when everyone already seems so solidified into their groups.
Appreciate any advice as I'm getting tired of the routine. Jesus who would I even invite to my wedding? | lost most of my friends. Only hang out with gf. Gf and i Need to find a social circle late in life |
t3_301ynk | personalfinance | Mother tanked my credit score, whats next? | When i was young, my mother opened two credit cards in my name and used them to start building my credit history. So by the time i graduated college I already had a 750 credit score. She had always paid them off on time but i never really had access to the cards or the log in to monitor the accounts.
Just this year she lost her job and without telling me built up a lot of debt on them and defaulted on both of them. I caught it right when they hit my credit report so they are still 0-30 day late payments period. I right away cancelled her cards, left the accounts open to save my oldest accounts, then payed them off but the damage is already done and my credit dropped 150 points just from that.
Is there anything else i can do to get those late payments of my account or do i need to just wait for them to drop off? I believe since i payed them entirely off right away it shouldn't take too long to go back to normal but I am in a very competitive housing market and this might make it really hard for me to even rent a apartment.
Just a note
A) I realize i should have watched those accounts, i was young and completely forgot i had them.
B) The maxes on the cards were very low, so it wasn't a huge hit to have to pay them off, i'm just really worried about my credit history.
Also If theres nothing to do to save my credit history now, how long can i expect my credit history to be hurt from this? | Stop suggesting to press charges. I understand thats one way to getting something removed from credit history, but unlike most of reddit, lawyering up isnt the solution for everything. |
t3_53y7yw | relationships | My [25M] BFF [22F] hooked up with a guy after 2 years of singleness. They're moving out of state together, I feel kinda betrayed and abandoned. | I guess there's not much I can do here, but I do feel the need to mope. Is this how a BFF friendship is supposed to end?
So I've been put on the back burner by my best friend with whom we share a long history, including foreign trips, countless sleepovers and weekends. She is now head over heels about this new guy and they will move into another state in a few weeks. He works and now lives over there.
I know this is one of those 'life happens' kind of things, but I still feel abandoned and lonely, even if we were never in love with my BFF.
She assured me multiple times that we'll keep in touch all the time and I can visit anytime. But it still feels very much over. No more all-night conversations, no more soul-to-soul evenings.
Am I right or wrong to feel like crap? | my BFF put me on the back-burner and moves out of state with new SO, is it okay to feel betrayed? |
t3_mx4wd | cats | So I don't if this is the right subreddit for this, but I need help with one my cats. | So a buddy of mine asked my to basically adopt his cat because he signed an apartment lease with a buddy of his who is completely allergic. So I've had his cat since september and my apt smells like cat piss. I bought and enclosed litter box, cleaned it, shampoo the carpets and everything. I just came home and witnessed the new cat peeing on my wall! What kind of cat pees on a wall? She's peed on things before like my pedal board and winter coat but I always assumed it was because I had people over and she was scared. I opened the door and saw this female cat, with her rear to the wall, peeing. How do I keep her from peeing everywhere? My gf and I live together and she's not fond of cats but doesn't hate them. This is becoming an issue. | How do I keep my new cat from peeing on my wall? |
t3_1m5o44 | offmychest | Lol, I don't think I can even title this post | Okay. *inhale...*
So I'm at school, right? And I gotta take a leak. I waltz over to the bathroom and something catches my eye as I walk past the stall.
There's seriously a foot long turd. Like solid, yaknow? **One freaking piece.** There were like **peanuts** and shit too. I wasn't even grossed out, more marveled in the fact that someone pulled this off at a school. I feel like Randy (South Park) when I say this but that thing was fucking **impressive.**
Enough about the turd's description. I was overwhelmed by some primal urge to pee on this thing. Maybe girls reading this won't understand, but I'm hoping the guys do. When the fuck will I ever have another opportunity to do this? It was like my destiny or something. I very badly wanted to cut this thing in half at least.
But guess what? I was fucking denied. That turd was like 40 levels above me and took no damage. **Not even a fucking crack.**
In the end, I felt it was my duty to at least flush this thing down, but even then it resisted. I swear I could hear it laughing at my futile attempts to banish it from this world. I wasn't the only one who tried to do this; either the summoner himself or someone before me tried to flush because the water was clean.
To whoever is responsible for that monster:
I'm sorry. I too could not defeat it. | Found giant turd, peed on it, tried to flush, failed. |
t3_2gjv4z | relationships | My (17M) girlfriend (15F) wants to break up because of my shyness. | Hey r/relationships, long time lurker, first time poster.
First of all I want to apologize for my writting, I'm not a native speaker of english.
She's my first love and been really depressed when she said that she wants to break up, this hurt my brain and my heart, I've tried to be as romantic as possible, while texting, we have even sexted ! But when I talk to her, I'm just frozen, I can't say the same things I do while texting her, I'm going crazy.
Everytime when I talk to her is more like a friend zone talking to me, she doesnt likes it ! She is using romantic names for me, I'm trying sooooooooooo muuuuuuch, but I fail everytime, everytime when I say "I love you sweetie" on the phone, I feel it, but she doesnt, she doesnt feels like I'm saying it from my heart. How can I treat my shyness ? What subjects girls want to talk about ? I've been goooglin' all of this, but I feel that my case is is not something popular . So here I'm /r/relationships , begging for your HELP, I love this girl SOOO MUUUCH. | My girlfriend wants to break up with me because of my shyness. Reddit, I need your help. I never felt the same for any girl in my life ! Please HELP ! |
t3_1td3dm | relationships | Dating: 34/F Seeing someone new (34/M) but being asked out by other men | The relationship itself is fairly new (just shy of 3mo) and is going well. We communicate incredibly easily with one another and rarely argue as a result. We both complain about our opposing schedules (the holidays and family obligations on opposite ends of the country don't help either) and the lack of time we spend together, but that's really the only negative. I recently met a much younger (22) man and we started talking. It was in no way romantic - it was about classic literature, a shared interest based on the population of a local bookstore. Since then, we've spoken nearly as much as my S.O. and I do, and he's asked me out on a date.
My S.O. knows all about this, up until my being asked out - note: I politely declined. I don't know that it would be a point of contention, but I'm hesitant to even mention it.
To my credit, I have been cheated on in past relationships and would never put another person through it, but I feel pangs of guilt in even talking to male friends now. I feel like I'm subconsciously "playing the field" and can't determine whether I should be genuinely concerned or if I am just overanalyzing. | in a new relationship but still getting offers |
t3_yz4lx | AskReddit | Imagine that you are being interviewed (by a reporter, not a recruiter). What is the one question that every interviewer asks and what are your novel answers for it? Second, what is the one question you wish an interviewer would ask and what is your answer for it? | Every so often when I'm in the shower (every single time), I have flights of fancy about being interviewed. In my imagination, my bestselling novel/award-winning music/top grossing movie has taken the world by storm and everyone wants to know the man behind the art.
Yes, I am a piece of shit. I know this.
If you're less pretentious than me (and I swear, outside-of-shower Me is much better than inside-of-shower Me), then imagine being interviewed for your job, for your current position in life. What is the one thing that people keep asking you and what is the one thing that you wish they'd ask?
I'm not sure I have an answer for it myself. I suppose it would depend on which flight of fancy I was caught up in ("Yes, I'm single" and "I wish someone would ask about my mingling readiness!")
Anyway, I figured that this might be a scintillating question. I hope so. | (kinda) |
t3_f7rf2 | AskReddit | My girlfriend and I just got caught in the act... Reddit, let's hear your best/worst "caught doing it" stories. | My girlfriend of a year and a half and I were in the basement watching a crappy Vh1 reality show when things got interesting. She indicated that she was in the mood to go down on me. Her dad and siblings were upstairs, so we were sure we'd hear if someone tried to come downstairs in time to "put everything away" if you know what I mean.
Things were going great when suddenly the garage door (which leads directly into the basement) swings open, and in walks step-mom and step-grandmother. In one motion, I pull up my jeans and we both dash to the other corner of the room as if nothing had happened. We heard "Oh, my..." followed by the door closing. Just when we think the worst is over and it's time to recover from near-heart attacks, they both had the nerve to walk in, greet us, and make small talk. Now, I was bare-assed on the couch with my jeans pulled up to my hips, so when step-grandmom introduced herself, I could only smile and wave. On a side note, she seemed like one of those creepy grandmothers you see in movies that are profoundly interested in younger men. Anyway, Step-mom must have "tattled" on us because soon after, down comes her infuriated father with the eyes of an angry bull telling me to "pack everything up" and leave his house immediately. I obliged. I walked upstairs, got my keys and drove home. | Girlfriend's stepmom caught her fellating me on a couch while watching "basketball wives." Now share your story... |
t3_o2vkt | AskReddit | How do I handle a situation where I'm job searching while I have a job? | Dear Reddit, I am a recent college graduate looking to start a career. I currently have a job as the assistant manager at a small business (meaning I don't do much but I get a title that looks great on a resume). The manager here keeps the minimum amount of employees possible to run the store, so I play a big part in the daily activities of the store. Right now I'm job searching and am getting interviews at least once a week, and I'm expecting that one of these will come through soon as a job offer. In order to make myself more enticing to hiring managers I have been stating that I am available to work fulltime immediately (even though I have a job still). My question to you guys is: should I let my manager know that I am job searching and that I may need to quit on short notice (this way she won't be in a panic when I quit and then give me bad references in the future), or should I simply wait it out and not say anything (in case I don't get a new job and she decides to replace me cause she thinks I'll be leaving anyways)? | How do I handle a situation where I'm job searching while I have a job? |
t3_4q0bq4 | relationships | Previous owner [90s M] just walked into the house I [19M] just bought | Details fudged for anonymity.
Ok so this is a weird one, the previous owner of the house I just bought walked right through the front door while I was passed out on an air mattress in the kitchen (doing renovations, yes I have a permit). My parents left to go get some supplies from a hardware store and shortly after he just walked into the front door, he seemed pretty confused, all he did when he came in was turn on the kitchen sink, started some small talk and asked where my folks went, checked inside the bathroom, locked all the doors and then just left.
The house was originally going to be a farm house back when it was built in the 40s, but the original builders ran out of money for the property needed and sold it to the previous owner who owned both houses until the closing which was last Friday.
I'm not really sure what to do because he is an old guy whose wife recently passed, and is on his way out as well. Should I just give him the benefit of the doubt and not say anything about it? | previous owner of the house walked in after I already closed on it, he's an old guy who recently lost his wife, wat do |
t3_1lglua | relationships | He's (24m) not the same person and I (24f) want out. | We've been dating for about 2 years. We're in a LDR while he's in graduate school. Our relationship was pretty damn good to start. But the past 6 months have been hellish. He began taking antidepressants. He said the LDR was making it hard on him but he never discussed wanting to break up nor did he come to see me. Yes, he is pretty busy but if he can go on weekend trips with his buddies then not so much. Money isn't an issue either. I honestly don't know what's wrong with him in that aspect.
The antidepressants made everything worse. He's more depressed than ever. Doesn't want to deal with the withdrawal side effects. I asked him to get help 100x but he never does. He's cold, numb, literally has zero feelings. I could never speak to him again and I'm starting to believe he'd never even notice. I just can't do it anymore. I'm dating a wall.
I've told him how I felt and get no response, really. Just that he's trying to get better. The only emotion I get from him is "come here, take care of me. I need someone to". But I have work. And I don't think me coming to baby him while he just sits there like a zombie will do anything. I can't even feel sorry because he doesn't get help. He will go out with his friends just fine and come back to talk with zero personality again.
I asked if it was me. He told me numerous times no that it isn't. That I'm awesome. Well, I don't know what to even do at this point. Some days he won't talk to me at all like I don't exist. And I've had it.
My question is I don't even know how to break up with someone who is so emotionally void. Should I say we're over and just block everything? Should I go no contact? Should I even say anything and just disappear? Really don't think he'd care if he never heard from me again! If he does get better, will he try contacting me again? I don't know if I should be completely moving on or holding out? | Depressed boyfriend won't get help even though he wants to get better. LDR. How to end things when there's no emotion. |
t3_4zpzco | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [24 M] 6 months - I stained his shirt | Ok so maybe this isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it but I feel so bad I can't concentrate at work!
So, I'm an idiot. I spent the night at my BF's and didn't have any clothes to wear to work. I asked to wear an old tank top that he has that he loves (that I love too) and promised I'd take good care of it and return it. Well... of course I get pizza grease on it. I freak out and try to wash it in the bathroom and let it dry. When I get home, it's still there! So I try a little corn starch and dish soap... which works! But... now there's slight discoloration on the shirt.
It's not so noticeable, but if you know it's there you'll see it. I know I should have taken it to the dry cleaners first thing but I panicked! I feel so so so bad it's crazy. My question isn't whether to tell him or not, I will for sure. I guess I'm asking if anyone has had this happen before to them and did you forgive your SO? I don't think he'll get super mad, but I feel so guilty and bad right now. Some advice on how to phrase it, what to say, would be helpful too.
Thanks guys :) | stained BF's shirt, got the stain out but now is slightly discolored. I know I fucked up, how to tell BF? |
t3_fmwcm | AskReddit | I have deep feelings for three girls/women in my life. Need an idea of what to do. | I really just need some help in figuring out what to do about it. Whenever I think about one of the girls, I feel like I'm betraying the other two. In reality, only one of them is getting betrayed.
**-Girl 1:**
My girlfriend. Been with her for a long time. My feelings for her have started to die, but recently, I've had bits of my feelings for her come back. Dunno how I feel about her. (Kinda long-distance relationship. That's not what negatively affected the relationship.)
**-Girl 2:**
I've had on-and-off feelings for her for forever. We're really good friends, talk on Skype quite often. There's an undeniable chemistry. The only reason I haven't pursued her is because she lives back in my home town. Though I am going there in a month or two, and I feel that when I do, I might "try something" with her, if that makes sense. I just feel a need to connect with her. Kiss her, hold her, be with her, etc.. We know we liked each other before. Though I feel this couldn't evolve into anything more than just that. The occasional moment when our paths cross.
**-Girl 3:**
She lives close to me, and we go to an acting class together every week. I've fallen for her. It's one of those really, really strong crushes, where you dream about that person, think about 'em a lot, etc. There are a few problems here... She's five years older than I am, and much more mature. I feel like I'd have to change a lot about me if I wanted anything serious. But I dunno if that's what I want, either. Honestly, overall, I just want to be with her and see what happens. All my emotions say "go for it", but my brain tells me it won't work out because of numerous complications. I have no fucking clue how she feels.
I just dunno what to do. Maybe I wanted to just vent about it. Maybe I want advice. I really don't know. | Varying levels of feelings for three girls. No lust, all a desire to be intimate with them in other ways. One of them is my long-time girlfriend, who my feelings for have started to fade, but still can't bear to leave. Dunno what to do.* |
t3_35uw6h | tifu | TIFU by eating Mexican food, and having snapchat. | So actually this fuck up happened last night at 10 PM but it extends over to this morning.
To give you some insight, I'm a married man with a wife who nags every now and again for staying up too late (doing work, playing games) so when I wake up late she usually scolds me.
Yesterday my wife INSITED we have Mexican food for the 100th time this month and I insisted not because of a stomache/gerd problem I take medication for, but as a newly married man I decide to stop being whiney and give the wife what she wants.
So we both got out of work late and found a resteraunt that was still open, went in, ate whatever I wanted because why not? I'm already here, fuck my stomach problem and then we went home.
So fast forward, im asleep in bed and the little brown giggles start rustling in my tummy, I try to ignore it because I'm dead tired and it's around 3:00 AM but then pain sets in and now im awake stumbling to the toilet half asleep. I make my way to the toilet to sit and shit and in the back of my mind I'm thinking "man, wife is gonna be pissed that I'm awake" so I open up my phone and go to snap chat, point the phone to my feet and record my tip toe dance with the sound of shit water spewing out of me with the tag line "my poor little asshole" and I send it to her.
As I finish what is the worst shit of the year so far, I lay back in bed and fall back asleep.
Next morning the wife wakes me up and asks why Did I take a video of myself "shitting my brains out" and I explain "so I wouldn't get nagged at for being awake" I'm assuming she understood the point of me taking the video and proceeds to show me her phone, where my video was NOT sent to my wife but placed on my SNAPCHAT STORY. Where all of my friends and some family saw my gross ass video. | ATE MEXICAN FOOD, DIARREAD, PUT A VIDEO OF ME SHITTING ON MY SNAPCHAT STORY. |
t3_4njgw2 | legaladvice | CA Roomate problems | I live with my Girlfriend(GF)and our Roommate(RM)in a two bedroom apt in Sacramento CA. RM and my GF work for the same program, which is to end on June 17th. My GF has a job lined up after and I work full time. We have tried to chat with RM about her employment post program because we worry she wont have rent if shes not working, but she refuses to speak to us. We also need to speak to RM about her disregard for rules set forth by management (having a guest stay for over a month, letting her guest use the pool without her present, having loud parties that disrupt other apartments, etc) as well as creating health hazards in the space we share( i.e. mold in the shared bathroom, rotten food in the fridge and on the countertop ,setting fire to the garbage with a hookah stone, etc) How can we legally get her off our lease without jeopardizing our standing as tenants. | Roomate is irresponsible and wont communicate with us, how do we legally get her out of the apt. |
t3_2yc4w5 | relationships | How to regain trust after lying to my SO | Through a series of events (I won't get specific but will admit most are my fault and most involve lying about my past..basically I was a stripper from age 19-22 and I used to party way too hard) the trust in my relationship has taken a beating.
I've given my SO total access to my phone and my Facebook and I've cut the people who have previously been bad influences on me from my life. However he insists on asking me very detailed questions about my past, especially about things that happened over ten years ago (how am I expected to remember everything in precise detail from that long ago!??).
I've moved on from my past, grown from it and become what I consider to be a decent adult. I don't understand why he is so concerned with what I did from 18 to 22 when we are in our thirties. He is constantly requiring corrections, stories or confessions of lies from me. This has become a daily (sometimes many times daily) occurrence and it's starting to feel like torture.
How can I regain trust in our relationship and how can in I get him to drop the interrogating? Please help me. I desperately need help. | I lied about my past and now my bf requires me to answer detailed questions about things that happened 10+ years ago |
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