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t3_1htcoa | relationships | F29 In love with my best friend (M30) | So I've been in love with my best friend for the past few years. We've been sleeping with each other off and on for those years. We lived together for years and became really close. But he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He tells me he loves me, is always there for me, etc. In the past when we talked about a relationship he said that he want good enough for me. I'm trying to move on but I think it's unfair to get involved with someone else when I feel this way about him. I'm a little scatter brained so ask questions if you have any, I'm sure I've missed something. | In love with my best friend and find it hard to move on with someone else because of it |
t3_3cpaj6 | tifu | TIFU trying to get the translation of "corny" into Spanish. (Back in High School 10 Years Ago) | So in my Spanish 2 class back in high school (sophomore year), I went up to the teacher and asked her with a smile, "¿como se dice 'corny' en español?" Back then and even now, I tend to mumble when I speak.
Anyway, she gave me the weirdest look that confused me. She shook her head in confusion and answered with, "Uhh... sentimental?"
I was kind of weirded out by her reaction so I just nodded my head and accepted the answer as is, thinking that she simply misunderstood.
For some reason, my memory brought me back to that moment and I decided to look up the definition of sentimental and came up with "love affair." To my horror, I realized that this whole time she thought I was asking her for the translation to "horny." I'm pretty sure she looked at me like as if I was some creep for the rest of my time in high school after that. | Asked Spanish teacher to translate "Corny." She thought I asked for translation of "Horny." Got an awkward look and probably the label of creep for rest of my life according to her. |
t3_243361 | relationship_advice | My S/O (F/19) is mad because I (M/21) want to study? | So a little background. With a girl who I was with for 3+ years but we are currently "working on things". We still go out and she spends the night sometimes. But graduation is approaching for me in a month and I have a class which I'm barely getting by in (68%). I have my last exam before the final on Monday and have spent a little bit of time during the week studying and planned on not doing anything on Saturday & Sunday just so I can grind some study sessions. She wanted to go out or hangout tonight but I told her I didn't want to do anything or have her over because I know I won't get any studying done. The problem is my S/O is telling me I am selfish and that I am "caring about myself like no one else matter in my life". Am I selfish for not wanting to do anything? After all I'm doing this so I don't have to stress (as much) for my final and ultimately so I can graduate in a month. Am I in the wrong? | My S/O says I am selfish for not wanting to do anything tonight and tomorrow because I want to study and get a good grade. Am I? |
t3_rukx2 | relationships | Are my boyfriend and I just avoiding inevitable heartbreak? | My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years now. We're both in our early 20's. He treats me like a princess, and is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. We've both dated other people before, and both of us have said that we've never been this happy.Now here's where it gets tricky:
* My boyfriend's family lives about 9 hours away in another state. He had always planned on moving back there, but that idea seems to have been pushed more to the back burner the longer we stay together. However, I know he still wants that, and I don't want him to resent me years from now for keeping him from them if we start a life here where we live now. I have considered moving to be with him if it ever came down to it, but my entire life, family and friends is in my current state.
* Secondly, after we had been together about a year and a half, I asked him what he thought about marriage and starting a family (Not now, but if that were something he'd want to do in his life). He said that someday he'd like to get married, but that he's **almost** completely certain he doesn't want children. He's said that he's thought about it and could change his mind in the future, but that is not something he wants right now.
* So now, Reddit, do I stay with him? If we ultimately want different things in life, is it just a waste of time? I'm so torn, because everything is perfect right now. Are my boyfriend and I just putting off the inevitable? Does anyone know if something like this could work? | My boyfriend of two years is amazing, but ultimately wants to move out of state (where is family lives) and doesn't want children. My life is back in my home state (where we both reside now), and I want to start a family someday (he doesn't think he wants kids). We love each other immensely, but are we both avoiding an inevitable breakup? |
t3_eapgp | AskReddit | Should I hit the "reset button" and go back to college? (Texas A&M specifically) | Asking for brutally honest opinions or similar experiences:
I went to community college for two years. Got an IT job that I really liked at first, but grew to despise. After a year, blinded by patriotism, I joined the Navy. A year and a half later I got kicked out, albeit with an honorable discharge and partial GI bill.
I moved back home and got a Business Admin degree from a tiny A&M branch school, which taught me absolutely nothing. There was no "student life" aspect, and all the women were Army wives, or in the Army.
Now I can't find work with my degree and spotty work experience. I feel trapped living at home with nowhere to go. My only passions in life are gardening, lifting weights, and reddit.
**I'm 25 years old and feel like I've wasted my life. I'm thinking about hitting the reset button.**
I never had the college experience: dorm life, fraternities, drugs, parties, reckless sex, serious relationships, or any meaningful social life. I desperately want all of that. I had lots of these things in the Navy, but it was short lived, and a total sausage fest.
I have about $20,000 in mostly liquid assets (some in retirement accounts that I have no problem liquidating), a car with only 8000 miles on it, and zero debt to my name. I'm the most physically attractive and confident I've ever been in my life, but I can't find any women or friends to share myself with due to my current situation. My town is a black hole.
Should I just say "fuck it" and go back to a full blown university? I'm considering getting an agriculture degree from Texas A&M (at College Station). | Should I go back to college for the "college experience"? |
t3_vdy4w | AskReddit | Battling Homophobia: Does anybody here rationally support gay rights, but is still unnerved by homosexuality? | Hey reddit. So I'm a teenage male, straighter than an arrow, but respectful of homosexuality. If I could vote I would vote for gay rights, I support gay marriage, I believe homosexuality can be biological and psychological, and I believe homosexuals can healthily raise children. I act respectfully towards homosexuals. But something deep down makes me uncomfortable around them. Not to mention I think anal sex, gay or straight, is gross as hell. I feel super guilty, and try my best to act only on the rational side of my views. So anybody else out there feel the same way? How do you guys deal with this kind of feelings? | Rationally support homosexuality, deep down a bit homophobic. Guilty as hell. |
t3_2mrf5w | relationships | My close friend [23F] just ended her relationship, how should I [25M] behave? | Yesterday evening I recieved a fb message that she just ended her 5+ year relationship and then she went silent.
It's only been 15 hours of no contact, but I'm getting very worried. She has had a very bad time lately (depression, low school motivation, money trouble etc.) and I have no idea what a real breakup feels like, so I don't know what she is going through right now.
Important detail to the story.. I've had quite a crush on her for a while now and she knows.
So the question here is: should I just stay away for a while or what should I do? | Close friend (& crush) messaged about break up, no life sign since - What to do? |
t3_1jkj41 | relationship_advice | [20/M] In need of a new perspective. | So I was hoping to get some advice on a situation that is building in my life. I, 20/M, have been with my girlfriend, also 20, for about five months now. We both go to the same university and about two months ago she went back home for the summer while I stayed in town. Home for her is about 6.5 hours away so there's some distance involved.
At first things are fine, we talk everyday, make plans to visit one another, nothing out of the ordinary. After about a month she visits which we were both excited about. But, when she gets here, it doesn't feel the same. We both feel distant towards each other and our relationship has sort of an "odd" feeling about it. When she heads back home things change even more.
Now we don't ever really talk, outside of maybe a text or two maybe once a week. And when we do talk, it feels forced. She comes back for the school year in a week but I am not sure what it's going to be like. If I had to sum up what I'm feeling, it's that I don't really feel like her boyfriend anymore but I still want to be with her.
Anybody have some insight or advice? | Start relationship with girl, she goes home for summer, things become different between us and now she's almost back |
t3_3bhmxf | relationships | [Update 2] Me [30 F] with my BF [31 M] of 1.5 years, an event seemed to ruin our relationship | [First post] and [First Update](
I wanted to update you guys since I got a lot of support from you all.
Since my first post and update, my boyfriend and I have started going to therapy together and we have both came a long way and things have been getting better. We were lucky to find a great therapist right away instead of going through a couple of them first. He has helped us out a lot. Sometimes we go together and sometimes my boyfriend goes to talk to him alone.
We communicate a lot more, and I realized how hard it was on him, and to witness what happened to me. He was mad that he wasn't able to do anything and felt that I thought less of him because of it. I reassured him that I didn't feel that way, there was nothing either of us could have done, and that I love him.
We have also been working on being more physical again with hugs, cuddling, etc. The problem wasn't just that he thought I didn't want to be touched or didn't want to traumatize me by doing it. He also felt like he wasn't "worthy" of it.
I know some of you here were wondering about what happened to the criminals who attacked us. I am mainly posting this update to inform you that they have been caught. They were caught doing the same thing to another couple.
This caused some additional emotions and problems to come out, causing my boyfriend broke down. With his reaction and some of the things he was saying, I didn't know how to communicate with him how I was feeling about it all. I felt relieved at first, but then I started feeling guilty. Guilty that I couldn't do more to prevent it from happening to someone else. I still haven't told him how I feel, I don't know how.
We still have things to work on, but I think we will both be okay. | My relationship with my boyfriend have been improving since we started going to therapy together, and they finally caught the criminals. |
t3_232vlj | relationships | My girlfriend [22] and I [21] can't have sex because of her past, and I'm not sure how to get he/us help. | She's been hurt in her past, and I'm not sure how to get her help. I'm also unsure if she's willing to get help, and it doesn't help that she doesn't like talking about sex related things because of the bad memories it brings up. If I do anything sexual to her, it also brings up bad memories. It's gotten to the point where if she starts to get into the mood, I go into "do nothing" mode so I don't bring up and memories.
That would be ok, but the only thing is, is that she doesn't want foreplay. And without it I end up hurting her, then we stop, and then she starts crying because of the memories it brought up, and because we couldn't have sex.
I don't know what to do. We haven't had sex for over 4 months now, and it doesn't look like we'll be trying it again anytime soon. We've been together close to a year, and in the beginning we had sex all the time. After we started getting close, she told me that she only had sex so much because she didn't want me to leave her if I didn't get sex. When she found out I wasn't like that, the whole sex dynamic changed to what it is now.
She still wants sex, but can't handle her past horrible memories, but also doesn't want to talk about sex, and also doesn't want to do anything sexual at all unless it's sex. There's only kissing in the relationship; not even making out. I've been feeling increasingly unappreciated, and unloved. There's no affection in the relationship anymore. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to break up, but I'm miserable. | Girlfriend wants sex but we can't because of her past, and I'm not sure how to approach her about getting help. |
t3_39lozw | relationships | Me [28M] has a friend [27M] who has a controlling wife [25F, married 3 years] How do I approach? | My buddy and I have been friends for years. Our friendship has been solid up until a recent incident regarding a road trip we had planned. His wife voiced concerns about our "safety" but it was clearly a veiled attempt to keep him from going. She eventually wore him down and has now cancelled saying "work was too busy." He was given about 6 months in advance to request the time off, and he never cited this as being an issue before.
I talked to mutual friends (including his own brother who is close to him) and they seem to share the same sentiment regarding her controlling ways. Even my own fiancee who was friend's with her before she met me admits that something is wrong.
She was always a little controlling but never to the point of concern. The last couple years have gotten really bad. Always canceling plans, voicing her displeasure of hanging out with me or any other friends, and overall just trying to keep him away from social interactions that don't invlove her. | How do I deal with this without coming off as a wife bashing, your fucking whipped type of friend? |
t3_3yt2d7 | relationships | My [38M] ex is homeless and is now staying with me [46M] and I found a syringe cap in my living room rug | A week a go, my ex sent me an IM on Facebook, he wanted to get together. We broke up on good terms, but haven't really stayed in touch.
When I picked him up at the train station he had a large camping backpack and a stroller he'd found filled with a bunch of his possessions and informed that he's now homeless.
I felt bad so I bought him dinner and told him he could stay at my place for a couple of days. It's now been over a week; He's gone during the day, and only stops by after 11PM for an hour to get a change of clothes and use my bathroom.
Yesterday I found the orange syringe cap under my couch. How can I get rid of him? I haven't spoken to him in four days, he has a copy of my front door key and I feel very anxious about that.
How can I get him out of my house? I'm thinking of changing the lock and putting his stuff in my exterior storage unit, so he can pick it up.
I feel like an idiot for having tried to help him out with some food and shelter for a bit, only to have him eat my dog's food after he'd eaten all the other food in my house and after I'd given him $60 for food and incidentals and then using my living room as his storage unit. | How do you get rid of an ex who's using you and shooting up in your home |
t3_432avc | relationships | Girlfriend and Weed [Advice] | Hello reddit. I [20M] have resorted to making a post about this issue i have run into within my relationship with my girlfriend [20F] of over 3 years. Bare with me on my backstory...
So i have been smoking on and off for the past 2 years. Over the last few months i haven't been smoking because i wanted to take a break. Now that we are moving out together and i wont be living with the rents, of course i want to start blazing again.
We have talked about weed and shes not concerned about health, morals or anything like that.
The real issue here is that she is set on becoming an rcmp (police) officer as her career. Its a long process and she will not even be applying for at least 2 years from now.
Now during the process in becoming an officer they do a lot of screening/background checks (detailed questionaire). For example, who she spends time with, criminal activities shes been involved in etc...
Her concern is that she will have to answer honestly to any questions they ask, including me smoking my weed.
I offered to quit smoking when she applies and offered tons of compromises. No dice. Shes adamant on me not toking. She believes im risking her future as they will turn her away due to association with my illegal shit.
I feel like i should be able to do as i please with my time...
Is she over reacting? What should i do? Thanks for reading in. | girlfriend doesn't want me to smoke my weed because its a possible risk for her career aspirations |
t3_1bh6jv | relationship_advice | [20/M] Told her I like her, she said she likes me too. Now confused | So I [posted this yesterday](
Today, I told her I like her and she said she likes me too. She said I like you, I recently got out of a relationship before we started hanging out and that it's been really exhausting with work but I like you too. I told her what we should do and she said to let her get used to the work/calm down before we start and I said if we could still hang out and she said yeah. So I'm stoked that she likes me and I honestly don't mind waiting and when I get home I send her a text,"I just wanted to say that I'm really glad I told you how I feel about you. It's been on my mind since that night. With your recent relationship and how works been, I understand. There's no pressure from me. I really like you ****, I don't mind waiting :)" She responds 2hrs later with."I'm glad you told me(: I just don't know how long you'll have to wait and if I'll even be ready in the near future:/" That confuses me but I respond with,"even if it's not in the near future, it's fine. Let's keep hanging out, having fun and see where it goes :)" She hasn't responded but she has work.
What I'm asking is what does this mean? In person, it all seemed genuine but with that text, I don't know if she's trying to let me down easily or still genuine. What do you guys think? I know I am thinking about this a lot and I need to give her space but after that text I'm confused | Told girl I like her, she said she likes me too. Says she needs some time because of work/recent relationship. Text her later then get a text from her that's gotten me confused, she hasn't responded to my response so I still don't either |
t3_26akyl | needadvice | I just got an offer to work on a cruise ship. Don't know what to do. | Not sure if this belongs in /r/relationship_advice or not. I'll x-post there if you guys ask.
So I'm 19, an aspiring chef, and still in tech school for culinary. I work at Carrabba's right now and kind of hate it. I heard about a job fair for this cruise line through my school, they interviewed me, etc. etc. and now they e-mailed me an offer, which is when I decide whether to go through with it or not.
I would most likely be done with school by the time I left for this job, because the training is long. Everything would be paid for/reimbursed by them, including certifications, flights, training, etc. No full days off, but I'm used to that with my schedule right now. I would be getting paid a little less per hour but would be getting lots of overtime so it's more like a raise.
I asked the chefs at school if it was worthwhile and they said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and an incredible experience, both in life and my career.
Now here comes the part I need advice on. I would be living on the boat for 4-6 months. I have a girlfriend of 3 years who I love very much and plan to marry one day. She relies on me a lot and I on her. I don't know how well she would deal with me going away that long. I tried to bring it up once already before I got the offer and she started crying in spite of herself. She said she doesn't want to keep me from this kind of opportunity, but she really, really can't handle being away from me for that long. I believe her. I know how it sounds and some people might say to just ditch her and live my life, but she *is* my life. I love her so much, and I would hate to do something like this to her. | Stuck between staying home with really special girl and taking this amazing job offer out in the world. |
t3_2o6u16 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my GF [29 F] 2 months, She wants slow, i'm afraid she will slip away | Met a girl online, i primarily use online dating as its a great medium for me to show myself for i am terribly shy. She is beautiful, smart, witty, enjoys every obscure band i also enjoy. We both love trying new things like beers, whiskeys, food, art, sexual activities etc.
She as cliche as it sounds has lit up every light that I would deem to be a dream girl. I spend as much time as I can with her. I tell her how i feel about her daily. She has a hard time accepting it as she calls me a Unicorn (something that isn't supposed to exist). That blows my mind as I'm just being me.
Here's where it gets hard for me. She wants it slow dead slow. Molasses is the term used often. She is terrified of investing and being crushed again. She has explained her past and I understand the concern. Not going to dive into that yet as it would push me off topic.
I am horribly scared that in this time outside factors (friends, ex's, new suitors) will pull her away from me.
She told me her one of her greatest fears is finding a soulmate or true love and not acknowledging it out of fear and walking away. That scares me, a lot. I'm not in love with her but I feel it will happen. She is just far to much the poster of the girl i've dreamed about since I learned about attraction.
I'm trying my hardest to slow myself down to keep her wishes and appease. But in the back of my mind its always there. Will i lose the chance i've waited for? Will someone take her away in lust and crush her again? | Meet in my eyes my dream woman. She needs slow in fear of crashing. I feel she may be snatched away from me in that time. |
t3_36iviq | legaladvice | Pain and suffering car accident help please! | Hello,
I hope I'm not violating any rules here, but I need some advice.
I was In a car accident. (Other driver was at fault, uninsured and didn't have a license) I am fully insured, and have a clean driving record of over 15 years.
My vehicle was totaled. I had some lesions on my legs which are now turning into ugly scars. Bruising on my chest and was sore all over for days. Family members had to come over to help with my 9 month old since it hurt to hold him. I have missed or rescheduled many doctors and orthodontist appointments for both my children due to no car or ride. I have paid for cabs and ubers to get around. I have also paid other moms to drive my daughter to softball games and practices.
Now, here is the biggest issue,
I was working part time 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. And since I no longer have reliable transportation I've had to stop working there. However, I was being paid cash. So I have no income records or check stubs or a way to prove my loss of employment.
I received a phone call today from my insurance, they offered $250. For pain and suffering. I mentioned all of the above except for the employment part. I don't want to get in trouble, but, I have suffered a great loss and have been under so much pressure.
Can I mention this to my insurance?
What should I do/say, not do/say?
I am in Chicago, accident in Oak Lawn, IL | I lost my cash paying job. Can I mention this to my insurance and not settle for $250.00? |
t3_1wwzu3 | relationships | Me [30M] and [29F] - For love or beauty? | You'll probably think I'm a shallow, arrogant, simple-minded bastard and hate me (because I do) but here goes:
I've been with a girl on/off for nearly 10 years. She's the person I trust most, the one I'd call for if I had a day to live and I love her more than anything in the world. In short, she should be my wife and would but for that most petty & stupid of issues: beauty, I just don't find her all that attractive.
She is actually fairly good looking in the traditional sense and I don't even care much about looks, it's almost 100% down to a couple of tiny "beauty spot" style blemishes that I can't stop focusing on (also I don't like kissing her as she always smells/tastes a bit like peas).
She wants marriage/family but I've always felt like if I married her it would be out of duty or love, not out of true desire and so doomed to eventual failure. We've split up a couple of times because I'm hurting her by carrying on and she deserves the entire world, but she loves me and persistently "just wants to be with me" so the endless quagmire continues.
Over past 2 years we split up, I met and almost married a girl who I found extremely attractive (and smelt amazing), but new girl was an utter pyscho bitch and thankfully things broke down. The 1st girl is now back in my life but facts remain the same. I hate myself so much for wanting to marry some tramp just based on looks but not my solemate.
I wish more than anything I could find her as attractive as the other girl (most people would probably say she is, if not more!), but from the heart I don't and never have. What should I do? Do I need to end it with the girl for both our sakes? Is there a way to magically (or with effort) start finding someone attractive who you love? | I don't find my soulmate attractive, but love her to bits and know I will never trust or connect with anyone else as much as her. What should I do? |
t3_1mcvtd | relationship_advice | Touble With Being Away From Home | Hey all,
In around 36 hours time I will be going back to university away from home. I'll be gone until around Christmas time (apart from the odd train journey home). The trouble I have is that I really don't want to be away from home. I've been back from uni for about 5 months now.
I've spent time living away before (this is my second year), and times even before university. Over the last couple years I've become even closer with my Mum and brothers and now I dread going away.
I know it's not for long, and I'm not exactly going far, but my mind has trouble adjusting. I'm 22 and I know a lot of people by this time have more independance and even relish the time spent away from home. However, I am not one of these people. I shoud note that my family are also not a massive fan of me being away (missing me, etc).
The question I have, is how do I deal with this in a way that doesn't drag me to the pits of unhappiness and loneliness?
Is there anything I can do to ease the stress on my family too?
I apologize if this is in the wrong subreddit; it's the only one I could think of relating to my problem. | Lived away before, been home 5 months, going back to uni away from family soon, having trouble dealing with being away, possibly wrong subreddit, what do? |
t3_43ro3p | relationships | My [17m] girlfriend [17f] and I are having issues and I don't know what to do | We have dated for two and a half years. Since the beggining of my ninth grade year and now I'm a junior. It's been absolutely great except for a couple arguments here and there. We have always made each other so happy. Well here recently we got in a huge fight and she broke up with me. For about two days I was sick and couldn't see her at school or anything but I was texting her. On the second day I was sick she had started talking to a guy and went on a date type thing with him after her bball game. Since she started talking to this guy she has been saying that she doesn't love me and has been treating me terribly. I treat her so nicely. I'm not controlling. I literally do everything I can to make her happy. She's like playing mind games with me. Now she is talking to two guys and she is even more distant from me. She keeps letting me think that she loves me and is going to come back to me but then just goes on a date with one of them. It's killing me because she is my world. I really don't know what to do. It's tearing me apart mentally and emotionally. I don't know what to do because I have tried everything. I just want my girl back. Please help me reddit.. | my girlfriend and I are having issues and I need help getting her back |
t3_2wbyg8 | tifu | TIFU by telling my teacher I watched pr0n | This happened about 12 years ago, when I was in grade 3.
Email was the new thing that everyone had, and I was gloating about how I had one, and how I could email my friends and family across the world.
Like any typical school day, my grade 3 teacher greets all the student as we come in. She asks me how I was, and if anything awesome happened over the weekend. Being the extremely talkative kid that I am, I start telling her about my Friday night cartoons, Chinese school and piano lessons on Saturday, all the chores I had to do and Sunday School as well. When I start talking about my Sunday night, I tell her:
"I got a really strange email. It had a bunch of weird sentences, and pictures of girls with eating poop with veins in them. Like they were really dark brown and long, so it's poop... but I don't know why there were so many veins in it! They were like eating poop! They had their mouths all over it!" (I giggled at telling my teacher it looked like they were eating poop because it sounded so ridiculous) (I also personally filtered out they had no shirts on and I could see boobs)
She gave me the most horrid look, smiled and continued on. Later in the day, I got a phone call home, and my parents found out that I had told my teacher and my teacher had voiced her concerns about my online... activities.
I knew this was a weird incident, and didn't realize till now (now that I'm 20) that I had actually been sent pictures of pr0n. | As a kid, I told my teacher I had pictures of pr0n, and described in detail the veiny "poops" I saw. |
t3_383x2k | relationships | I think I messed this up massive me [25/m] her [25/f] 7-8 Months | A little back story we meet on Tinder last November and have been meeting up and going out spending hours with each other and things things were going go and we was enjoying time with each other. I wasn't rushing her or anything. Every time we departed we would agree to meet up again which we would do.
We meet up 2 weeks ago and everything was great and fine we had a great time and agreed to meet up the follow week. I really should have made the move on her but I am too much of a coward. We couldn't as she had to travel to see some family but that happens. But since than she has became so distant with me. I may not have helped as we agreed to meet up this weekend just gone. However she said she may have to work so she will get back to me. This is where I messed up.
So I waited until Friday and asked she blanked that comment and went on to ask about my day and other things so asked again with the same response and I gave up. However the next day went out with some friends got drunk as you do and well sent a line or two saying look I am sorry for asking like that.
Now not spoken to her since Saturday night and I have noticed she has started to use tinder again a lot more logging in a lot. Where as before it had been months before she logged into it. I dunno what I can do or say to save this.
At this point even if its over it would be nice just to be told yeah it would suck. But we had plans for stuff coming up in the next few weeks that required tickets. | I meet this amazing girl couldn't control myself become over keen and messed up and now I dunno what to do to save it? |
t3_2ud177 | relationships | Me [22 M] with my Girlfriend [21 F] 9 months, we're moving in officially. we lived together but had separate apts(my parents paid my rent, she paid hers) Now she's subletting her place and we're arguing about rent payment | Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
Hey everyone, I really appreciate any and all help.
My girlfriend and I have lived unofficially in my apartment for 6 months. My very strict parents are paying for my apt (over $800 a month, but on conditions that I go home every weekend and call in on them every few hours)
My girlfriend was living with me but was paying about $300 for her apartment which she never stayed in. We decided to move in and she subletted her apartment to someone else. She works hard for every penny she makes and we both agreed it was wasteful to spend $300 on a glorified closet for her clothes.
Another important piece of information is that I owed her about $1,200 that I will receive in full back in a few months. I have paid under half and owe her about 700 still, which I am paying her still. We agreed that when the full refund comes back I will keep it since I will have paid her back.
We agreed that we would take the 300 she would be paying for rent and put it in an account we could use for the both of us.
I brought up the idea that instead of putting her $300 in the bank that she docks it off the money I owe her. To which she got mad saying that since my parents pay for the apt I am just making money off her.
I tried explaining that while my parents are paying for the apartment it isn't free for me and it shouldn't be free for her. I honestly do not think it is fair that I should be owing her money while she is living rent free in my $900 apt when she is only putting $300 a month to our vacation and emergency fund.
We both could not resolve the problem and I desperately need advice because this may take a turn for the worst | GF paid $300 a month for her apt while she lived with me |
t3_247jpa | relationships | Am I [f 20] incompatible with my boyfriend [m 21] or am I just too demanding? | length of relationship: 14 months - if that matters
I am planning on talking to my boyfriend about this tonight but before I do, I want to make sure I'm not going crazy or acting irrational.
Long story short, sometimes I feel like my boyfriend is just unavailable emotionally and it feels like it's hard to reach out to him. I recently dealt with my father's job loss and a bunch of other family issues, and the most my boyfriend could muster up was "I'm sorry baby, that really sucks." I'm not expecting him to be able to magically solve my problems... but each time I vent to him about something in my life, that's all I get from him. Is it weird that I want more of a response? Sometimes I feel like he doesn't give a shit at all. I'll add that I don't vent to him on a daily basis; this is just when I want to talk to him about something I'm going through, we talk about many other things-- it is by no means a therapist/patient sort of relationship.
He can also be hard to reach; every time we talk through text or fb chat it just feels like I'm annoying him because he doesn't seem that engaged in the conversation.
I just feel like he's not always there for me, especially emotionally. Every problem I've talked to him about is met with "That sucks" or "sorry baby, I know that sucks", but I want more from him, I feel like partners in relationships are suppose to be there for each other. I understand if this is his way of listening or hearing me out, but that's all he ever says, it exhausts me.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I move on? | Bf of over a year isn't emotionally there for me. I don't expect him to solve my problems but whenever I tell him something I'm going through personally, he just tells me 'that sucks' and doesn't really try and help in any other way. |
t3_nn8gg | AskReddit | I'm in a one-year lease with less than acceptable roommates. What can I do? | Hi,
I'm 24 years old and have lived in my own apartment for a couple years, I've had roommates before and we had a blast.
Flash forward to three months ago. I decide to move in with a coworker and a couple of his friends. Everything seems cool, rent is good, it's a four bedroom house.
Without getting into too many details, giant parties, huge messes, no one else cleans anything, there is garbage all over the back yard, front yard littered with cigarettes, just last night some drunk broke our kitchen window (it's fucking cold) and my roommate (whos friend caused the damage) just left the glass where it is (day 3).
I want to get out of this house ASAP but I'm on a lease. What can I do?
:: | Roommates party too hard, leave garbage and food waste all around the house, and never take part in cleaning up. How do I move out without wrecking rental history? |
t3_128669 | dating_advice | Cute friend (F21) drunkenly professes interest in me (M21). Not sure how to proceed | So she's not so much a friend as a friend of a friend. We'll call her R. R is Very cute. One of those people who hugs you every time she sees you. When I met her at the beginning of the year I got that feeling where id love to get to know her better. She's very good friends with my best friend and so while I see her occasionally, we don't hang out a ton.
Fast forward to now, a musical at my school just finished its run. I do theater but wasn't in this show so while I still know everybody in it, I wasn't gonna go to the cast party. Someone at the party texts me saying I should come. People want me to show up and it turns out R is the one who texted me. I show up and see her. She's kinda drunk but not that badly. And i can tell she's flirting with me while also trying not to be overboard because she is drunk. We both go off and talk to other people for a bit and my good friend comes up and says he think R likes me. R is downstairs i guess talking about how she really likes me and would make out with me if I was drunk to (had to drive so I stuck to water). I don't think she knows I know she was saying that but she apologized for being so drunk. Then this morning. She sends a message apologizing for being so drunk and for anything embarrassing she said.
Here's my problem. got out of a 2.5 year relationship this summer though and idk if a full on serious commitment is smart right now. I kinda would like to get to know her better still. Is there a way I can respond to her message letting her know I like her too without it being uncomfortable? Or should I just flat out say it and admit I kinda know she does too? I feel like im in high school :P but ive just been out of the game a while. Sorry for the length! | find out cute friend of a friend likes me after drunken admittance. not sure how to respond |
t3_1q92es | relationships | Me (21M), not sure how to proceed with dating friend (17F) | Well, first off I'd like to point out I live in the UK, so she's not underage in any way.
But to the meat and potatoes. Me and her are both students at a fairly good university since September this year. I was a uni student for two years before, so I have a fair grasp of what to do and what not to do.
However I live at home instead of on campus, so it has been tricky meeting new people. Enter C, one of my lab partners. We both study the same course and are both rather good so far (especially because we both have a similar background in biology).
To cut a long tale short, we share hugely similar interests (Pokemon and Zelda being two of them) and get along like a house on fire. We've been out for coffee together a few times and usually study together, but I'm not entirely sure where to proceed from here. A major problem is that she also is staying at home and commuting in. However while I live close enough that I can take the car and be there within 10 minutes, she gets a lift with a mature student near her and as such needs to leave early most times. The only exception to this is Fridays, where she gets the train instead.
I'm not sure how to proceed from here. The fact that I cannot easily see her outside of university hours (as train fares are on the expensive side) is particularly prohibitive. In addition, I do like her a great deal (and I have a feeling the feeling is reciprocated, at least slightly).
Any thoughts or suggestions on how to proceed? I cannot easily ask her out on a date without it being tricky for her to get back afterwards. | Awkward travel arrangements make dating with friend tricky, need suggestions or thoughts. |
t3_49dfyk | relationships | I'm homeschooled and lonely. How do I make friends?? | I'm fifteen and a female and have been homeschooed my entire life. All of my brothers have graduated or are in public highschool. My friends I'm only close to a few and they don't know that I'm not the same as I used to be-we all were raised very strict conservatives and they still are but i'm not (SHHH!). I go to a big CO-OP but they are kinda like public schoolers so I can't relate well with them, and I probably wont go again next year. idk what I should even do, where do you meet people? At dance the girls all seem to know eachother from school and stuff. | How do I make friends and not be so awkward. |
t3_2j9b7s | legaladvice | (NY) Husband's mother owes him 40k and she is filing chapter 7 bankruptcy. What is likely to happen? | My husband got his first savings account as a teenager, and his mother was on the account. He's still using the account nearly a decade later and he never thought to remove her from the account. We each have individual savings accounts, as well as joint savings. This savings account is his personal savings account (not related to me). When he was a teenager he would sometimes give her cash to deposit, but all money that has ever been deposited into the account was earned by him or given to him.
Two years ago, he got a bank statement and learned that she had withdrawn 50k out of about 80k that was in the account. She was on the verge of losing her house and hoped that she could withdraw it and then repay it without him ever noticing the money was missing.
A lawyer drafted a loan repayment agreement, which both signed. She is supposed to pay off a portion of the loan every month until it is repaid.
(Yes, I know this could and should have been handled differently. It was between him and his mother though, and it's too late for me to change anything.)
Now we have learned that she is filing for bankruptcy. She is hoping that bankruptcy will eliminate this debt, and she does not plan to pay him back if she can avoid it. Her logic is that we both have decades to make money before retirement, but she does not.
I know we need to talk to a lawyer but our appointment isn't until next week and we are freaking out a little bit. Technically she was on the account and had a legal right to take the money she withdraw, BUT she has agreed in writing that she will pay it back.
Her total debt is around 400k and her assets include one house (150k), one car (20k) and no investments/savings. She makes 50k/year.
Does anyone have any idea what should we expect to happen with her debt to him?
_____________ | Husband's mother wtihdrew 40k of husband's money from joint account between the two of them. She agreed to pay us back over several years, but now she is filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy and says she does not expect to pay him back. What is likely to happen? |
t3_3vrdtu | relationships | Insecure boyfriend (28 M) when girlfriend (27 F) and I are in public | I am confused. I know I can be insecured as a boyfriend, but am I wrong for acting insecure in specific situations?
1) When my girlfriend and I go to Victoria's Secret, and she buys underwear and bras, sometimes the cashier is male. I ask her "Don't you think it is kind of weird that a male cashier gets to touch a girlfriend's underwear and bra before the boyfriend does? Or that the fact another man other than your boyfriend is touching your underwear and bra before you wear it when you get home." I guess I am overreacting. Is it wrong that I address this to my girlfriend and she just tells me that to not worry about it and that I'm being insecured. That the male cashiers have no bad intentions to women that ring the women up.
2) When my girlfriend and I are walking on public, sometimes other men will say things like "You are beautiful" or whistle at my girlfriend. Sometimes people will even scream in their cars saying "Kim Kardashian!" because of her physique.
I do not appreciate other men who have all the public knowledge to identify that I am her boyfriend and still choose to say these remarks to her in my presence. I usually walk up to the person and confront them asking them if they do this to all women who are with their boyfriend, and I just say a few words here and there, and leave. No discussion because I don't want to waste my time.
How should I handle these type of situations when other men whistle at my girlfriend or say inappropriate things to my girlfriend while in my presence and they are full aware. How do I handle these situations in a way it's not a turn-off to my girlfriend? Do I just ignore them and continue the day knowing that she is mine and I should not let these comments influence me?
3) If a guy grabs my girlfriend's butt while I have my arm around her, will it be a turn-off if I punched the guy out of anger? I guess so. But how should I handle this maturely without being a turn-off? I assume the best thing to do is to confront the guy and walk away without any violence. | 1) Is it wrong to feel insecured that a male cashier at Victoria's Secret touches my girlfriend's bras and underwear first before the boyfriend (me) touches them? The thought of another man touching my girlfriend's panties other than her boyfriend (me) makes me feel uncomfortable. |
t3_30pz84 | tifu | TIFU by watching the Godfather with my Dad and not my Mom | I'm a 17 year old girl. On Saturday nights, my parents and I like to have movie nights and this particular night we were watching the Godfather.
My mom wasn't feeling very well so she went up to rest while my father and I watched the movie.
Sometime during the night she decided to come downstairs for a glass of water.
The Godfather has a few uncensored sex scenes in it. As my mom walked down the stairs it just so happened to be the beginning of a graphic, uncensored sex scene.
So my mother walked right into the room as my father and I awkwardly watched. I didn't look at my mother until the next day. | My mom walked in while my father and I were watching a sex scene in a movie. |
t3_39at1n | relationships | Update! - I (33F) just found out that my boyfriend (35M) of 2 years has been cheating on me with a 20 year old (f) | [original post](
First, thanks for the support, everyone. I really appreciate it.
So I talked to my landlord and my now ex - my landlord was extremely understanding, and he let me off the lease. He said my ex can either keep the apartment for himself, or pay rent until he finds another tenant. Now I just need to find a place to live because I was supposed to be moving soon...it's another thing to add to the list of things currently stressing me out at the moment but I know it can be done.
I don't know why but I asked him why he did it and he said he couldn't give me a reason other than because he wanted to. He kept begging me to forgive him but I really can't do that. I can forgive a lot of things but I can't forgive this. I told him it was over for good and that I don't want to speak to him anymore.
I also talked to the girl he was cheating with. She contacted me on FB and told me everything that happened. I almost feel worse for her than I do for myself, if that even makes sense. I made sure she knew that I was not mad at her. Seeing all the pictures of her and him together during times when I thought he was doing something else pretty much ripped my heart out again though. I told her to make sure she gets tested for STDs since he and I didn't use condoms.
Emotionally, I still feel horrible. I just can't believe that I had no idea about this for an entire year. I don't know how I didn't see it? But I just didn't have any reason not to trust him... we didn't live together, so if he said he was out somewhere I believed him because like I said I just didn't have a reason not to. | Broke up with my boyfriend, got out of the lease, talked to the girl he was cheating with and let her know that I am not angry with her at all |
t3_2yieky | legaladvice | Landlord trespassing or not? | Yesterday evening I came home from work to find a tiny note in the corner hallway of my apartment building saying an exterminator would be arriving 11 am the next day (today, Monday). The note said nothing more. It did not say they would be letting themselves inside of our homes. Sometimes they spray only the hallways for general upkeep.
Today I woke up at 4am and left for work. I arrived home in the afternoon to find a note on my kitchen table from management that said "Get this place cleaned up!" My apartment is not dirty in ANYWAY. I do have laundry and books laying around, but there is no food, garbage, feces etc in any place. I also do not own any pets.
Soon after, I walked into my bedroom to find my lamp bent and would not turn on. I then picked the lamp up by the pole to move it and I was shocked by the lamp and the power went out in the kitchen completely. I used the lamp at 4am to get ready for work, and it was not broken or bent at all.
I'm curious if all of this is legal. I am aware it depends the state, this all occurred in Ohio. After some research I have found that the landlord must provide 24 hour notice to enter your apartment. From what I have seen, the note was placed 12-16 hours before they entered and I was in no way told they would be entering my unit. I'm completely confused by all of this, and my property being broken does not exactly help how I feel. Any help is appreciated! | Landlord entered apartment without me home, and did not give 24 hours notice. Also broke my property while inside. |
t3_3xdyl5 | relationships | [23M] I give up on dating for good. | I give up on dating. It's pointless and time consuming. I'll never meet a compatible person.
Please, take following words for a fact. I'm unattractive, but I'm very nice and funny guy. I'm popular, people like me for my joker personality, they invite me to places. I'm very intelligent, I was one of the best students of my generation. There, and I'm usually humble, but this day has awaken the biggest douchebag in me.
This superficial world... it's bullshit. I'll NEVER be appreciated as much as I deserve because of my looks. I'm a great guy with a good heart and I'm fun to be with, why do I always have to prove myself? Women don't like me, romantically. I'm awesome at flirting, but I'm ugly. And I don't want to date a hottie, I want someone like me but they think they could find better...
When I date someone, evrrything is great until my gf realizes that a hotter guy is hitting on her. I swear, 30% of my relationships ended with cheating. I came to a conclusion that this will never change... And people don't mature, they just get desperate and settle for an ugly guy like me. I want to be someone's perfect guy, is that too much?
I'll always be ugly. I'll never find my real SO.
Good thing I'm smart, I'll just focus on science and inventions. Things can't hurt me. | Ranting. Sorry, I had to vent. |
t3_3frrn5 | relationships | My [M28] girlfriend [25F] of a year has been having a quarter life crisis. I'm not sure what I can do to help, or even feel secure myself. | **Summary**
Been with this girl a little over a year. We get along great, and love each other, but she gets in her head way too much and scares herself. As of late, she's been afraid of what the future holds, and she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life as far as far as career, going back to school, etc.
**I've Suggested Counselling**
She gets really depressed about it all (and struggles with depression), and I suggested counselling to her, which she said she would pursue, but never really did. I love her a lot, but while I'm there for her emotionally, I never really feel secure anymore.
She's had a few freak outs where she would push herself away from me because she was afraid of getting hurt and would even go as far as contemplating break up, and then once she realizes what she's doing she'll apologize and beat herself up because she says she loves me and doesn't want that.
**My Own Insecurities and Fears**
I already suggested counselling, but what else can I do to be there? Also, how can I stop my own insecurities? I'm so terrified of her freaking out again and breaking up over her own fears, or being left behind with her not sure what she wants out of life (although she says she knows she wants to be with me) that I feel myself building up walls in order to protect myself from possible hurt.
How can we overcome this? | Girlfriend of a year is often insecure about herself and her future. She is essentially going through a quarter life crisis, and I'm afraid I'll be left behind. She assures me she wants to be together, but her history of pushing me away scares me and I find myself building up walls to protect myself. I don't want to do that. |
t3_17ca1h | relationships | I (M-23) am paranoid about my GF (21) cheating on me. | We've been together for 3 months, and this is my first real relationship. I've had hookups before, but nothing like this. I find myself paranoid that she's cheating on me. It comes and goes. Sometimes, I go days/weeks without worries, while other times I get paranoid that she's with another guy whenever we're not together. This happens when she takes too long to reply to a text, when she and I don't have plans for a weekend day, etc. If I don't know where she is/what she's doing, I get worried. I don't let on that I have this fear, so I'm not constantly interrogating her about her activities. Part of me realizes that this is an irrational fear based on nothing, but another part of me is insecure and unstable. How do I cope with this? | Paranoid that GF is cheating with no solid evidence. |
t3_36a305 | relationships | My [25/m] girlfriend [23/f] said 'I love you' last night. I didn't say it back. | I have been dating my girlfriend for two months. I can honestly say that I have never felt this way about anyone before. Last night we were at a bar, and she told me she something she wanted to tell me. She leaned in, kissed me, and told me she loved me. I didn't know how to react. I still don't know what to do. What's funny is that things have been so unbelievably good with her that I actually wondered if maybe this was it for me, if she would be the one for me. I can't say that now. I was (am?) going to ask her to move in with me soon when my current lease runs out. I've never lived with a significant other before, and until now I have never wanted to.
I've never loved anyone before. I don't know how I'm supposed to be able to tell. She was upset last night and we talked about it until she told me she didn't want to discuss it any more and fell asleep. We talked a little more today before she left for work. She's really hurt and believes that it means she's not good enough for me, or that there's something she's doing wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth but I can't convince her of that.
I don't want to lose her, I don't want to do anything besides make her as happy as I can and spend my time with her. I realize that doesn't carry the same weight as "I love you." She really meant it too, I have not known her for all that long but I know her well enough to be sure that she wouldn't say it frivolously. She told me that she doesn't regret saying it and won't apologize for it, but she doesn't want to talk about it anymore and wants things to go back to the way they were before. She says she ruined things. She didn't, but I feel like I am killing our relationship a little more with each word I say to her.
I apologize if this is a little incoherent. | My girlfriend of two months told me she loves me. I'm extremely happy that she feels that way but don't know how to react and I'm making it worse by trying to talk about it with her. |
t3_2c1ry3 | weddingplanning | MIL to be passed this year. Should I still do Father-Daughter Dance? | Hi! I should start by saying that I don't expect anyone to make this decision for me. However, I can't escape my own perspective, and I would like to hear other points of view.
My fiance and I have been engaged since December 2012. We both wanted a long engagement, and we will be getting married on November 8th this year. Ever since we first got engaged, we both said we wanted both a Daddy-Daughter dance and a Mother-Son dance. I want the wedding to be as much about his family as about mine.
But tragedy struck in April and his mother passed away suddenly. It was completely unexpected and horrible. It still hurts both of us very much, although we try to talk about her as much as possible.
So, should I carry on with the Daddy-Daughter dance? I don't want it to create a sad, awful moment for my fiance. But I also don't want to let down my dad. I think my dad would understand, but I also think he's been dreaming about my wedding longer than I have.
Any advice or thoughts are so very welcome. Thanks! | mother-in-law to be passed away this year. Should we have a Daddy-Daughter Dance, or leave it alone? |
t3_mkw3y | loseit | Sometimes failure can be a motivator too | Hello /r/loseit. First time poster here (been lurking). I just wanted to share - for the first time since I can remember, I don't want to cry when I step on the scale. My best friend married in August, and I was asked to be a groomsman. I made a goal with myself when he proposed that I was going to lose 50 pounds by his wedding. I failed miserably and had gained 10. I was 260 pounds and the largest I had ever been in my life. I managed to put on a brave face, but the entire weekend I couldn't get over how great everyone else looked.
After that weekend, I stopped telling myself that "I can't." For years, "I can't run" was my excuse, and that Monday I ran 2 miles. To be fair, I downloaded the C25K app and there was walking involved in those 2 miles. It was painful, but I ran every time the app told me to. 2.5 months later, I'm still running. Tonight I ran week 5 (8 min run, 5 min walk, 8 min run) and after my shower I stood on the scale; 238 pounds. I am doing this. It's really happening. | I felt like a cow at my best friend's wedding so I started running and I've dropped 22 pounds in 2.5 months. |
t3_3hohq2 | relationship_advice | [25/m] Wondering if I keep messing it up on dates? | Specifically tonight, this girl I've been talking to for a week or so invites me to hang out. I agree (sounds like a great spontaneous idea) I pick her up and she already has a plan, grab some beers and hang out at this nearby lake. We chat, share a bunch of stories and what not..
It's hard for me to trust people, I don't know why. Im always a little distant and I feel like I play it off that I'm not. I wasn't close or intrusive I feel like. (I always worry that) but it was a good time. I'm pretty sure part of me knew she wanted me to not be detached but.. I don't know. I'm in my head forever about these thoughts after.
This has happened almost exactly the same way before. I get so nervous and I get walled up and we hang out and I hug and say bye and I get these crushes I like but I'm scared of showing it. We just hang out once or twice and I awkwardly can't show anything affectionate. I don't think I'm overly insecure? I imagine a lot of people are. I just get so nervous and I'm not in my normal shell. I used to be, I think. But I get so nervous I can't eat, as of now I haven't eaten for 12 hours because I'm just so all up in my head. | I can't date and it all feels so broken to me. |
t3_2o5kir | relationships | Sometimes I [21M] eat dinners with friend [22F] who my GF [20F] knows I once liked. Don't want GF to be jealous. Advice? | My girlfriend [20F] and I have been together for a while now. Most of it has been long distance. Due to just casual conversation before we were ever dating, my girlfriend knows that I liked another girl at Uni for some time a while ago. The thing is, this girl and I are still pretty good friends (although I have no remaining degree of attraction to her) and grab dinner in the dining hall a fair bit to catch up, as I do with all my friends. Truly nothing out of the norm. That's the extent of it. Nothing romantic ever came close to happening with this friend in the past.
I'm a bit concerned about my girlfriend being worried when she comes home though. On one hand, I don't want to throw away a (very casual) friendship with someone, but I also don't want my girlfriend to feel jealous if I'm having dinner with this friend she knows I once liked (and who my girlfriend doesn't particularly like very much). Is there any way for me to mitigate this?
Someone on here might ask why I'm concerned if there's truly nothing to be worried about with this friend or question if my girlfriend is insecure. Both are not true. Rather, if I were in her situation I could imagine feeling a bit uncomfortable and wouldn't want her to have to feel that way. But maybe that's my own problem... | Girlfriend [20F] knows I liked another girl at Uni before her. Nothing ever came close to coming from it. Still friends with girl. Want to not cause any tension. Advice? |
t3_2dgdjt | relationships | Me [26 M] with my gf [23 F] of 17 months, she invested a lot into me and now is finding it hard to find energy for me | My gf (call her Samantha) and I had a great relationship but hit a bad patch because I started to seek recognition in my sporting activity in the form of another girl. We ended up breaking up in March and I slept with the girl. I had emotionally cheated on Samantha in the lead up but then realised what I really wanted.
I told Samantha what had happened and that I was willing to win her back. I fully admit that I didn't deserve it but said I would do what it takes. Fast forward to now and I have done everything I can to win her back. The trouble is that we have developed a sort of power balance where she has all control and she is finding it hard to invest in me because of the amount she invested in me.
I know that we work well together and I know that I want her. We have talked about it and we both agreed that the power balance is wrong and that is part of why she has less attraction for me.
So my question is: what can I do to help her regain that energy for me? | Past issues have meant that my gf finds it hard to invest in me. How do I get back my lovely girl? What can I do to help her regain that energy for me? |
t3_el2yg | AskReddit | Is anyone else a bit afraid of Julian Assange? | Okay, so I was watching a video here on reddit of some TED thing (Obviously foreign and I'm too lazy to go look it up, but you know what I'm talking about). Anyway, they were interviewing Julian Assange about Wikileaks and as I watched the video, I grew more and more afraid. Julian is great and is doing a great thing. But calling him a hero I think is going a bit too far. I'm not afraid of Julian the man, but *Julian The Posterboy For All That Is Good In The World* makes me a bit antsy. Does anyone else share my feelings on this? | I fear the power that the public is giving Julian Assange. |
t3_wtwsp | relationships | Found out boyfriend has been exchanging sexually explicit emails w/ transgender | My boyfriend (29) and I (23 f) have been dating for a little over 6 months and made it official about 2 months ago. I moved in with him about 2 weeks ago. He was married for 3 years, divorced a couple years ago due to his wife cheating on him. I have noticed he constantly seeks reassurance from others that he is sexually appealing, or "enough"
Recently he went through my text messages looking for who knows what. He didn't find anything. My experience has taught me that usually when people are doing shady things, they project them on to you. So I looked through his phone. Found out he had been dating someone the whole time him and I were. He lied to me about this woman when I had asked if they were dating. In any case, it had ended shortly before we became "official" so I let it go and blamed me being upset because I was under the assumption that he was an angel.
I got the feeling there was more upon inspecting his computer, he still kept in touch with women he met online and has Skype sex with. Sending messages about how he still fantasizes about them, etc. I also found shemale porn. Then I see his Facebook messages and see he has been exchanging sexually explicit emails with a male to female transgender.
I confronted him about it and he felt awful and understood that he was wrong and apologized. He assured me he does want to be with me and build a life with me.
I am left feeling extremely insecure and untrusting of this man who has been openly planning a serious future with me that involves marriage etc.
I am normally very open sexually, willing to experiment, comfortable and able to orgasm. Since these things have happened I do not enjoy bejg physical with him and I cannot orgasm.
I know that a man watching she male porn or being interested in it does not make him a homosexual. I have explored with him, I have used strap ons on him. I have been open. But the fact that he is seeking a transgender makes me feel like I am not enough. That he wants more, that maybe he does want to be with a man. That maybe Our relationship is just a front. | My boyfriend has been exchanging sexually explicit emails with a male to female transgender. Should I be worried about his sexual preference? If not, how can I work through is? |
t3_1nwa7h | legaladvice | Would I get in any sort of trouble at all? | Hello, I posted here a few weeks ago regarding a domestic violence case. Since then, I've signed for a diversion, and just recently got my diversion letter back. One of the conditions is that I not break any law, but the thing is I haven't signed this diversion agreement and returned it to the district attorney yet. I plan to do so on the day before the due date which is October the 15th. Recently, me and a friend went to a bank and, because she thought she needed some spending money, she wrote a check out to me worth approximately 900$. She only wrote it out to me because at the time I had my ID on me and she didn't, therefore I was able to cash a check and she was not. I went in, cashed the check, and gave it all to my friend. A few days later I got a call saying that when the check was ran through it came back NSF (non-sufficient funds) therefore whatever account she was attempting to withdraw from did not have the necessary funds to cover the amount. As a result of this, 900$ was withdrawn from my account. My friend has said that she will pay me back every time she gets paid until she has paid me 900$, but my mother who I still live with wants to take her to small claims court because she doesn't think she will pay back. I of course don't want this to happen, but if it were to happen would I be getting in any sort of trouble? Have I done anything wrong? | Friend writes check out to me for 900$, check comes back NSF a few days later and 900$ is withdrawn from my account by the bank. My mother wants to take my friend to small claims court, would I get in any sort of trouble if this happened? Have I done anything wrong? |
t3_3uskv2 | relationships | My partner (M 41) may have a weird relationship with his sister (37). | My partner has (been brought up on several occasions by his friends to me) that his relationship with his sister is just a tad on the weird side.
When they talk on the phone (sometimes multiple times) they have nicknames for each other, which they then repeat over and over in s high pitched baby voices. It starts to get on your nerves.
He has shared at least one secret of mine to her that I know of. They are constantly telling each other how much they love and miss each other. He always puts her before his parents (really nice people). Am I jealous (I don't think so) or disgusted. Advice really. | Advice on partners relationship with his sister |
t3_3d83l5 | relationships | I [m] feel incredibly anxious and rather awful after speaking to other women. | I've been with my girl friend for 14 months and I really do adore her. She's been so good to me and has supported me through thick and thin.
As with any SO there is a sense of property where one might think, "Hey thats mine! Don't touch!" or just jealousy. I totally understand both of these things as I have experienced them myself. My girlfriend is very possessive of our relationship and can get very jealous very fast. She is rather emotional. Her father cheated on her mother and left at an early age which causes her to detest lying. If anything seems even remotely off to her she will shut down. There are times where I've done nothing and she will display this reaction causing a rift between us for a brief time. Since I go to university while she is in her last year of high school, she us very suspicious of any weird activity especially regarding other girls. She gets defensive and somewhat cold towards me if I mention a girl I met as friends or other happenstance events. She reads into a lot of my actions and words which causes anxiety and doubt on her end. She has repeated this behavior each time a girl has come into question or she suspects me of lying. Its gotten to the point where I feel very nervous after speaking to another girl over social media or in person. I feel like I am hurting her and I am so worried of her reactions since I know it will be like a bomb going off.
What can I do? | I feel extremely uncomfortable talking or hanging out with other women since my girlfriend is very possessive and sensitive to our relationship. I feel like I am hurting her talking to other girls sometimes and I dont know how to shake the feeling off. |
t3_264f9t | legaladvice | Overtime labor law issue. [Virginia] | My employer (which is a retail giant, I don't know if I can name them but it's pretty obvious) I believe is cheating us out of pay we deserve to be getting. Basically my shift is understaffed and we cannot get our work done, not to mention having to do the work of other shifts. Most nights the manager on duty will come in at an hour till our shift end time and say "You all are not allowed to leave until everything is done." and then proceed to give us more tasks to do. We sometimes stay as late as 1-3 hours late finishing these tasks. However, at the end of the week, we are forced to leave early or take longer lunches to shave or kill this overtime so we don't cross 40 hours. We are threatened with being written up or fired if we get any overtime, but we are also threatened with the same thing if we leave at our shift end time if the work is not done(which every shift does our shift just picks up their slack but they don't get into any trouble.) From my understanding, I am allowed to leave at that time, they can't make me stay late, but they threaten us by saying our work isn't done. My real question is, can an employer say, "You need to stay late and finish these tasks" obviously allowing you to gain OT but then make you kill it later in the week by leaving early or taking longer lunches? | Can my employer allow overtime early in the week but then make you leave early or take a longer lunch to shave or kill the OT at the end of the week so you don't work more than 40 hours? |
t3_2cisnv | tifu | TIFU By trying to download a file. My friend probably thinks I was looking at porn while he was over... | So, last night, which was technically today, being that it was about 12:30 AM, I was trying to download what's called a "key generator," so I could access a program I, you know, acquired, for free. You guys know how it is. Well, I found a file, it had a sufficient amount of seeders, and was one of only two options. I download it, and run it.
At this point in time, I would like to add to the story that I have a buddy of mine crashing at my place tonight, because we haven't chilled since before we graduated 2 months ago. It's also the first time he's ever been to me house.
Anyway, I run this key-gen after scanning it, and determining it had no threats in it, but I didn't look at the file type. I opened it on my second monitor, and it opens windows media player on my main monitor. My friend and I look in confusion for a minute, and then a .Gif of a girl comes up, and what does she do? Lifts her shirt, and boom, titties. Great...
My face turns red, my friend is laughing his ass off as I try to tell him what's going on. In the end, it worked out, because I sent him the "key Generator" he thought wasn't the reason titties happened, and then got to see him freak in pain as he opened it while my mom was in the room. Good thing her back was turned. | Downloaded a key-gen, attempted to run it, titties. |
t3_1h7ro6 | pettyrevenge | Annoy me... Well prepare for your Kratos makeover | Going through senior school as a pretty easygoing guy in the late 80's you occasionally pick up annoying younger kids who shout shit across the yard and then scarper as you make vague threats in relation to their health (knowing fine well that you won't do anything).
Anyhow, one younger brother of a friend , we'll call him BD, found great pleasure in this pastime of taunting then 'legging it'. I could see the joy in his little face every time he saw me and my mates , who were incidentally also reluctant participants of his funny game. Most Goddamn annoying..
Here cometh the revenge. Lunchtime in the UK involved going to the Town Centre to buy a bag of exotic Phillias Fogg Crisps (potato chips) and for the princely sum of 30p a cup of tomato soup with a mini bun and sausage roll.
Now walking along the pedestrian walkway above the shops with my bests, we spied BD running(as usual) towards us, but underneath, at ground level.... Quick as a flash I poured the red goodness of my cup(tomato soup) to perfectly coincide with the BD's flight pattern, with a precision with which the Apollo 13 crew would be proud...BD looks up in shock... My friends turn to each other then to me. Pure joy all around as we erupt into howls of laughter. BD walks away dejected in utter defeat.. The first known case of Kratos being defeated...
The crime scene
Edit | Annoying kid who talks shit gets tomato soup poured on him from a great height |
t3_jtpl8 | AskReddit | What's something your parents did to you that made you think "I will never do that to my own kids?" | For me, if I have kids, I don't want to adhere to stupid gender stereotypes. One memory in particular comes to mind: My brother and I were talking about a game we wanted for Christmas, later my mom took me aside and said "video games are a boys thing- girls mature sooner, so the mindlessness of those games won't appeal to you soon. You should try and focus on getting other interests." I got a make up kit that Christmas. I'm 20 now and still don't know how to makeup, but I sure as shit know how to game. (Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but they can be a bit old fashioned.) My point is that if my kids want to play football or dress up as a princess or whatever, they can and it shouldn't matter if they are a boy or girl. Making hobbies/interests gender specific is stupid. | reinforcing gender roles is dumb, won't do it to my kids |
t3_3azrhz | relationships | Dating Me [31 M] about to skype with my crush [23 F]. Known 2 years. Kind of not sure I want to. | I met this wonderful girl while studying abroad in Japan. She's a lovely Australian and I'm an American.
We spent time with each other when we'd both be on campus. Study together. Eat lunch as a group of 4 together (other 2 were girls) Never anything outside the friendship zone.
Thought about her a lot after I returned to America. She's so busy we never really kept in touch. Reconnected a few weeks ago and I asked if she'd like to catch up and Skype sometime and she expressed interest.
We're actually going to Skype tonight and while part of me is happy about it, the other part would rather not. Why bother interacting with her when the odds of anything happening between us are remote (even though we're both moving to Japan to teach English).
I'm just going to Skype with her and enjoy a nice trip down memory lane as we share anecdotes.
Would it be nice if we both decided to pursue something in Japan? Yes. But I don't need that kind of heartbreak pining for some pie in the sky dream that may or may not happen. | Skyping with a crush tonight. Not sure I want the heartache. |
t3_20i6ys | relationships | Me [20M] with my GF [19F] 2 years, Does what she did count as cheating? | Cliffs:
*guy approaches girl with bf on college campus, talk for couple of hours
*at the end, girl tells him she'll only give him her number if he won't hit on her; guy doesn't say he won't and just smirks and says "what's your number" - she gives it to him anyway
*meet up for coffee (she told me beforehand) after sunset three days later, and end up taking a walk for a few hours till past 11
*sit down on bench and get under snuggie
*slow dance to A Real Hero and Chasing Cars; hips together, her arms on his shoulders; he runs his hands up her back and squeezes here and there; plays with her hair
*he tells her to practice making eye contact with him and moves their faces really close together; she expects him to kiss her but she still doesn't move her face away | Gf went on "friendly" meeting with guy who randomly approached her on campus? Let's just assume they didn't have sex and she later refuses to kiss, does what she did still count as cheating? She told me about her plans to meet him, but I didn't expect him to take it so far. Am I in the wrong for being upset with her? |
t3_4zsq2f | relationships | Girl I'm talking to [F16] may be trying to cheat on her boyfriend???? [M17] with me [M16] | Story starts end of june. I'm using tinder trying to find a relationship ( teens using tinder lol). Well I came across this girl and she was pretty hot so I sent her a message, we hit it off the usual. I get her snapchat and she's sending me seductive photos and shit. I'm amazed. She's talking to me about wanting to hook up with me. Me, a virgin,is loving where this is going. But I'm going to lacrosse camp. Go to camp and come back texting her and apparently she has a boyfriend. Alright I guess,I stop texting her.
Come this week she starts texting me just as a friend again. I'm fine with this, she lives an hour away and it's hard to meet up. Soon enough though she's sending me suggestive pic's asking if I want to cuddle. This is going great in my mind. I check her instagram and she posted a pic of her dog,with one comment from a guy saying something corny ("that dog is almost as cute as you;)). I check his profile and I see his profile pic is him kissing her.
I'm confused now. Is she cheating with me? Am I a douche bag for wanting to go after this? | girl that wants to hook up with me may have a boyfriend. I don't know what to do |
t3_2zxxl6 | relationships | Is my [38M] co-worker's [21M] relationship with my daughter [6F] appropriate? | I have three children. Two of them are male, ages 14 and 10, and my daughter is 6. I work at a church, so I'm there on the weekends, and my kids come with me because my wife also works weekends. We've been around the church for a long time, and they know a lot of people there, so they're rarely bored.
I've known John (named changed, obviously) for about three years. He was a student in the youth group I worked at, and came back as a leader after he graduated and started going to college nearby. He also recently got hired by the church to do janitorial work during the week, and he's there on the weekends as well.
On the weekends, I've noticed that they've started to spend more time together. She goes looking for John when we get there and almost always hugs him when she finds him. He asks her about her week, how school's going, things like that. Also, every now and then, he'll give her a Hershey's Kiss or a piece of gum and tell her it's a secret between them (but Dad has ways of finding this stuff out).
Her school had spring break last week, so she was there with me during the day on Wednesday, and John was there as well, cleaning the building. According to Sarah, she spent about an hour with him, "helping" him wipe down tables in the lobby, take out the trash, all the things he normally does. I practically had to pull her away from his side when we left, and he mentioned to me that he really enjoyed having her with him as he was working. John also joked about wanting to borrow her on Friday (my day off) so she could keep him company. I mentioned all of the above stuff to my wife and she didn't seem too concerned, but I'm still not sure.
What do you think, /r/relationships? Should I be concerned about John? | 21 year old male co-worker is very friendly with my 6 year old daughter. Is he a pervert or am I too paranoid? |
t3_3c6ktr | relationships | How do I [27M] break up with my girlfriend [24F] of one year who has no idea this is coming? | I have an absolutely loving, wonderful, giving, beautiful, funny girlfriend that guys absolutely pine over who I have zero feelings for.
We started off like any good relationship, being obsessed with each other, having her on my mind every day, always touching each other whenever we were together and just finding endless things to talk about.
Our sex is amazing, she's the funniest girl I've ever dated and at about six months in I told her I loved her. I haven't felt anything like what I felt for her in a very long time and she told me too. It was such a moment for me I even cried because I had no idea I had feelings like that in me.
Fast forward to now, she is still every bit the person I met when I started dating her. But for some reason that feeling is gone. She's still funny, wants to see me, good to be around but the spark is gone. I don't feel anything towards her. I miss her from time to time but most of the time my mind is elsewhere.
And this is the troublesome thing. She thinks we're exactly where we were six months ago. She's making all these plans (that I was planning with her too with the same level of enthusiasm) except now I don't know how I'm going to go through with them.
I feel like I need to break up with her because I'm leading her on. I'm not sure why I don't have feelings for her anymore (I haven't met anyone else or anything like that). But I have absolutely no idea how. She's so happy to talk to me and be with me I know its going to crush her and she's going to clam up tighter than a shell.
So how do I do this as respectfully, politely and tactfully as I can? We have mutual friends and I know its going to be shit but what else can I do? | gf of one year who is in love with me and perfect in everyway i've fallen out of love with and need to break up with. how do i do this in the best way possible? |
t3_30imdl | relationships | I [22M], am having doubts about/think i got into my relationship for the wrong reason with my girlfriend [24F] of two and half years. | My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years now, we have been relatively happy and had an overall healthy relationship...
We started dating two and a half years ago when i was going through extreme anxiety and depression, i honestly thought a cause for both of these was that i was lonely. So naturally i sought out a significant other to make me feel less lonely. It didn't really solve the problems but she was extremely supportive throughout the whole thing, and a year later i was completely over the anxiety and depression. Over that year i developed a lovely relationship with her, and i learned to care for her deeply.
However, once my anxiety and depression ended, i started to notice that i was having less fun with her, i was more eager to do the things i was doing before anxiety and depression took over. Less eager to do things with her. So it's quickly turned into me being sort of annoyed when im with her. On top of all this we both live very busy lives, we are both art majors at a school in Vermont, and constantly have work to do where we are only seeing eachother a couple times a week.
I've been considering asking for a break, to really sort things out. And this is where my question comes into play... Can you have a break like this, especially one that will be super one sided (she will not want to do it, she's really attached) and go back to having a normal relationship after? I feel like our relationship will not be as strong.
The other option is just a complete break up and have it be done and over with.
Has anyone been in similar situations that can offer some advice? | Relationship with GF is at a dull point/not wanting to hang out with her as much. Is asking for a short term break out of the question? Or is completely breaking up a better solution? |
t3_1jqaa8 | pettyrevenge | She will likely never know, but it still brings me some catharsis. | **Back Story:**
Throughout my childhood, my older sister (who was only a year older than me) always had a holier-than-thou attitude. She had many double-standards (she can play in my room, I can't play in hers) and would blame her crimes on me. This continued on through her college days, and now that we're adults we have a fairly cold relationship.
**Setup:**
While cleaning in my parents basement yesterday (we're both around our mid-twenties) I found her old gameboy that she would never let me play. Surprisingly, the batteries still worked.
**Petty Revenge:**
I just spent a few hours demolishing all of her old high scores. Eat that, stuck-up teenage sister. | Sister was always a pain. Found her old gameboy years later, destroyed her high scores. |
t3_y2fho | relationships | Am I quasi cheating? 31(m) 30(f) | 31(m) - 30(f) - Married 4 years, together 6 years
So I am new to Reddit, been browsing/posting maybe a month or so and I got to thinking about something the other day.
I browse GW, GW+ and GW Curvey on the regular. I have made a couple comments about posts and pictures that I like, and that is really about it.
It got me to thinking, could this be considered a form of cheating? To me looking at and downloading porn is completely different. I don't have any interaction with the "actors" and I look at that as entertainment. But with the subreddits I have above you do actually have the ability to enter into a form of communication with the poster. If I saw a woman in public and she showed me her boobs that would probably set my wife off pretty good, but yet I seem to deem it acceptable to looking at the pictures women have posted of themselves on reddit.
I don't really think my wife cares, I have told her about what I am looking at here, mainly because I find it extremely odd that people just willingly post these pictures online.
What do you guys think? I started this thread on another forum I am on because I haven't made many posts here and people just said to post it here, so here it goes... | Is interacting with posters from GW a form of Cheating? |
t3_4o57ie | relationships | Me [36 M] with my ex-girlfriend's [37 F] brother duration 3 years - Broke up with Girlfriend, but was friends first with brother for 6 years. He is pissed at me. | So I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. We were both previously divorced. She changed as a person, started giving me a hard time about working late and hanging out with my friends. Decided to end it. My ex-wife was controlling and I was a little bitch who let her. I promised myself that I would never be controlled in a relationship again.
I manned up, met her in person, apologized and said that it wasn't working out and that I wished things were different. Broke up 3 months ago. There was no cheating (that I am aware of anyway!), no abuse from anyone... it just wasn't right anymore - we barely even fought. I went no contact since that time. While she has texted me a few times since, I have not responded.
The problem:
Her brother was a casual friend. I was in a band with him for a bit a bit and he is friends with some mutual friends as well. I also go mountain biking with him and other friends. His wife set me up with his sister. I didn't know it was his sister, she just called it a blind date. I found out on that date, but I was having a good time and decided to continue on. I don't think I would have gone on the date if I knew it was his sister.
I found out from a mutual friend that he is pissed at me and refuses to hang out with me in the future.
My question is, should I contact him and try and smooth things over? Or should I just continue to let things settle down? I wasn't mean or anything during the break up. I have a feeling his wife is just being a jerk. I just don't want to cause problems between the rest of the few friends I have and barely see. I am alone most of the time when I don't have my boys with me and don't want to lose more friends.
Any advice is super appreciated. | Broke up with Girlfriend. Her brother was a friend longer. He is pissed. Should I talk to him? Not sure what to say to try and smooth things over. |
t3_526xcc | relationships | Me [19 M] My Girlfriend of 6 Years [19 F] not feeling it. | Long story short. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years. I love her with my entire mind, body and soul.
The last few weeks, we've hit an extremely rough patch and I've turned to a friend that I've known for about 7-8 years, her name's Amanda.
We've gotten close, talking, hanging out and spending time with her has kind of made me lose the connection I have with my current girlfriend.
I love my girlfriend, the thought of someone else having her fucking kills me but I just haven't felt something with her in about a month.
I have no idea what to do. | having issues with girlfriend of 6 years, turned to a girl i've known for 8 years and now I feel different |
t3_m0k34 | AskReddit | Why is weakness considered such a negative trait? | I'm serious in asking this. I realize it seems like a stupid question, but something I've noticed in society and interpersonal relationships is that if you need help or present yourself as desperate or "weak", people really want nothing to do with you. Why, though?
I mean, when my friends have needed someone to talk to or help through difficult times, I've been there, supported them, etc. But when I've had difficult times, really bad fucking times, I am accused by them of giving them too much drama to deal with, and they basically stop being my friend after awhile.
Same thing with relationships. As long as you're strong, hold your own, support the other person, you're fine, but the minute you look like "you haven't got your shit together", the other person is ready to bolt.
And in searching for jobs, if we're honest and just say, I am desperate for work...people don't want to hire you. So you have to put up a front and basically act like you're self-reliant no matter what.
I guess what I'm wondering is, why is it so admired by society to be self-reliant and not need anyone else's help or support...when all of us clearly do need one another to thrive as human beings...
It's a stupid question ultimately, but I still can't understand why. I was raised a spoiled only child, and that probably has something to do with it. I was rewarded anytime I asked or begged for something, and then I realized the rest of the world doesn't work that way. | I think by making ourselves appear self-reliant and not needing anything from others so as not to be "weak", we limit our honest interactions with one another and our ability to support each other. |
t3_qds8j | AskReddit | Can anyone with med experience help? | Yesterday my mother was taken to the emergency ward at hospital after fainting because of what was thought to be a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA). When she woke up she was slurring her words and couldn't speak properly. In addition to this she was experiencing numbness in her right arm in the afternoon before it happened and again last night afterwards.
Following various tests, the doctors have concluded that it was low blood sugar and stress and have subsequently released her. Something similar to this has happened before as well. She is pretty fit and 56 years old.
After doing some background reading on TIA's I think that she should definitely get a second opinion (mainly due to the slurred speech, numb arm, and the fact that if it was a TIA it could be a precursor to a full on stroke).
If anyone can provide valuable input that'd be great.
Thanks | my mum fainted and I think the doctors diagnosis is fuct |
t3_508kaq | relationships | I [16 M] need help with reviving my friendship with my friend [16 F] so I can maybe turn it into a dating relationship. | So I am friends with this girl I know in the same grade as I am. I don't have any classes with her and the only time I communicate with her is when I text her or see her in the hallway, which isn't often.
Note: In my town we have like 90 miles of golf cart paths so people get around town by driving golf carts.
I used to give this girl rides to school and back last on my golf cart and we would socialize on the trip there and back. I never noticed signs of interest because I'm not good at detecting signs of interest in girls and I'm not bold enough to ask if she wants to met up somewhere.
This year, she drives her own golf cart and we never see each other. I really don't want this relationship to die since I kinda like her, so if you can help please drop a comment. | Need advice to turn a weak friendship into a dating relationship |
t3_266v97 | offmychest | The happiest I've ever been in my life was the time I spoke to a homeless man and gave him money | When I was in the UK, I spent about two hours talking to a homeless man in Edinburgh, and even though I was well off, I told him I had very little money so he'd be more honest. In the end, he told me his story, I told him mine, and I paid for the electricity and rent for his apartment.
(He had one, but was being kicked out for being behind on the rent, and he had no job, was cut off from welfare, etc etc. He used to spend all the money on booze, but cleaned up).
It was one of the best moments in my life. Just sitting there, discussing life and ethics with someone who most people would ignore, while smoking my corn-cob pipe. I would do this more often; but the homeless people I see in the states are usually about 5 minutes from stabbing you in the eye with a syringe.. The ones in the UK are really personable; provided you're not in a horrible area of town.. | if you get the chance, talk to a homeless person, they are fascinating. Wear some tattered clothes, and blend in with them. It's tremendously enlightening. |
t3_w5ukt | AskReddit | A friend of mine recently committed suicide, but I hate everyone who might attend his funeral. | A bit of backstory - my friend and I, who we will call "Jeff" for the sake of privacy, attended the same High School. I was generally a shitty friend to everyone after High School, as I was trying to get my life together, but "Jeff" was always there to lend a hand. Hell, my wife and I didn't even send invites to half the people I wanted to (we have shite memory), but he showed up anyhow bearing gifts and hugs. This kid was the epitome of Good Guy Greg, and I was a shitmuffin, essentially. I eventually got my shit together, but he and I never reconnected, even though we had planned to for some time. He killed himself on the night of July 3rd.
As with all High School alumni, though, as soon as people found out he killed himself, even the people that treated him like complete shit and ostracized him began to baww. There's going to be a wake for him at our former High School, which is a big issue for me. I know of
a) a rapist (long, more private story)
b) a thug that used to terrorize "Jeff"
and
c) A bunch of bitchy tweens who never knew him
who will be attending.
So, the question part of my post - should I attend? On the one hand, I flaked so much when he was alive that I feel obligated now that he's passed to make good on the promise to visit him. On the other, I feel like attending a wake that's pretty much a farce for asshats to get attention with is shitty to his memory. | friend died, assholes throwing wake at shit high school. Do I attend despite this? |
t3_4a05ao | relationships | Me (28/F) with my BF (30/M) of over a year keeps lying about smoking and I am not sure if this is a major red flag. | In our pasts my SO and I used to be smokers (before we dated). When we first met, we enjoyed smoking together and talking outside getting to know each other. This only lasted about a month before we both decided we didn't want to pick up the habit anymore. I have stayed with this decision (for certain medical reasons especially) but he has wavered.
A few months back, I was snooping a bit and found a pack of cigarettes in his dresser. I confronted him and he said he only didn't tell me because he knew they bothered me, especially after my health scare. I told him I get this but really didn't want to worry about him lying to me in the future. If he wanted to smoke, just tell me. We bought a pack together about two months ago and that was it.
Fast forward to today when I find another pack and a receipt showing he bought them a few days ago and has not told me again. I obviously can't confront him (I don't want to be seen as a snoop, though I know I obviously was) but I am so angry. I have never caught him in any other lie besides this one but to repeat the same lie when we talked about it really hurts.
It just makes me wonder if he can lie about something small and not feel bad about it, what would stop him from something bigger. I feel like this distrust is going to fester and I don't know how to handle it.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? | So keeps lying (by omitting the truth) about buying cigarettes and it makes me question his honesty in all aspects of the relationship. |
t3_2q2755 | relationships | I (M22) woke up in the same bed as a girl (20), but neither of us remembers whether we actually had sex. | I know this girl, not that well though, as she's a friend of a friend. We all went to that friend's house to party this weekend. What happens after is nothing atypical, really... We got along that night, everyone was overly intoxicated, one girl told me she saw us going upstairs together and thought we were going to have sex. The thing is, we don't remember whether we actually did or not. Well, maybe she's lying, but I actually don't remember at all, and she seemed to be very worried about the whole thing. It's really weird, as she was entirely naked, but I had literally all of my clothes on, except for my belt and my socks when we woke up. It's a pretty big deal, because for her it would have been her first time apparently, and also we found no condom anywhere, so it would mean that it was unprotected sex, which is even more worrying. I guess I'm posting on her behalf too, because we're both confused and neither of us really knows what to do. The whole thing in itself is pretty embarrassing: it was a one night thing, I don't have a crush on this girl, and it's not someone I really hang out with (except for that night). But at the same time, the decent human being in me kind of wants to help her figure this whole mess out. I don't really have a precise question. What do we do? We both went to the doctor to get tested for STDs, but that doesn't solve the problem of finding out whether I actually took her virginity or not that night. Also, people are talking about it, saying things like... 'oh yeah these two did it that night'. I don't want this coming back around when possibly nothing happened that night. It makes it even more embarrassing. | me and a girl were super drunk and possibly had sex at a party. However, neither of us remembers whether we actually did. If we did, it would have been her first time. I have no idea how to figure this all out. |
t3_4hkz45 | relationships | I [20 M] have had a crush on a girl [19 F] for a few weeks, but school is almost over. | So I met this girl about a month ago and I could tell she was flirting with me extremely bad, so i took her out on a date. that worked out so I took her on 2 more and by the end of the third one we ended up hooking up. Now there is only 2 weeks of school left and she has been extremely busy and so have I.
A few days ago we ended up talking about what we wanted from this relationship and she said she was extremely busy this semester and didn't want to be in a relationship because school is going to be over in a week. I told her that I liked her, but i didn't have any intrest,or time, in being in a relationship so late in the semester, I mean who would want to start a relationship by being away from eachother for 2 months. she said she felt the exact same way and she just wanted us to remain as friends and that she was sorry for leading me on. we haven't texted each other since that conversation. | Now here is my question, should i just give up and move on, or should i try talking to her again at the beginning of next semester and ask if she wants to try anything because we will both have a lot of free time, we won't be incredibly stressed out from school, and it will be the beginning of a new school year. |
t3_1x9cqi | relationships | My(26) BF's(29) father lost his job, BF wants to move in with them to help | Boyfriend(29) and I(26) have been dating for 5+ yrs. We have a son. We were planning to buy a house later this year. We had some money saved, plus we let his parents borrow $3500 a few months ago that would be repaid(now I don't think we'll be seeing it again). Then, his father(let's call him Asius?) lost his job.
Asius and his wife(Leda) both worked, but Asius was the main breadwinner. Leda works for the government making $33k/yr. BF has us moving in with them to help, instead of having our own apartment. Their mortgage is $1300/mo, both cars paid off, no other debts that I know of.
Basically, I don't want to live with them. I wonder if they could live off what they have or if we'd put them in a bad position if we don't live with them and pay rent? Asius could probably get unemployment benefits, I'm not sure. I guess my biggest gripe is that Leda, and Asius to an extent, spend money on needless things. Cable tv plus netflix, multiple vacations a year, eating out every week, random expensive stuff. BF and I live almost on the basic necessities, though we do spend sometimes. So obviously it would aggravate me to see them continue to waste money(granted, it's not like they buy diamonds and new cars) right in front of us while we live our frugal lives. They also expect us to do errands and stuff for them because we're younger.
Should I try living with them for a while? Let them get through this own their own? What do you think? Am I being selfish?
I sort of hate my life right now. I'm sure I'd hate it even more if I had to live under someone else's roof like a child. I really need that safe haven of my own, where I feel secure and comfortable. I know everyone isn't like that. | BF's father(breadwinner) lost his job. BF wants us to move in with them to help out. I wonder if they can survive without us? |
t3_2vc4lt | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend [23/M/] of 3 years, i'm addicted to male attention. | My boyfriend is going to propose on Valentines day. I've made mistakes and want to change and be the wife that he deserves.
My friend used to be in love with me, he got close to a girl in college and he started talking about her all the time and it made me jealous so I slept with him hoping he would forget about her. This is my biggest regret in life.
When I go clubbing with my friends it's the highlight of my week having guys chat me up and dance with me. I have never left the club with any guys but I have done some things I am not proud of. If my friends ever get more attention than me it makes me mad and upset.
I joined plenty of fish to talk to guys but I would never meet up with them, I even put a fake name and location. It's nice to feel so wanted and have so many guys want to chat me up and take me out. It's like a hobby or addiction chatting to them.
I was talking to a guy in a chat room and he kept asking me to go nude on cam for him so I did it to shut him up. By the end like 35 guys were watching my cam and telling me how sexy and pretty I am and it did wonders for my self confidence. Sometimes when I'm feeling low I go back on the cam site to feel better about myself.
I want to be happy just with my boyfriend and spend the rest of my life making it up to him, how can I stop craving so much male attention? | Male attention is my drug. I want to be a better life partner so how can I stop the cravings? |
t3_mqqp3 | AskReddit | Dad has paranoid schizophrenia. Should I be worried about myself? | My father has a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis, which I've known about for some time. I'm in my mid-twenties.
I've casually considered the possibility that I inherited the disorder, and I've always thought it was clearly not the case. But if I was afflicted with the disorder, how would I know? I probably wouldn't, right?
The past few years I have been struggling mentally with certain issues in my life, including anxiety, which have negatively affected my jobs and personal relationships. I have a complex history, I am a complex person, and I am in some complex situations, so there are explanations for my problems that I've always thought were reasonable without paranoid schizophrenia. But again, since it is a disorder involving misperceptions of reality, maybe I'm wrong.
Recently there have been some popular AMA's and other posts related to schizophrenia on Reddit. There is obviously a great deal of interest in the subject and I suspect a great deal of knowledge as well. So I thought I'd put this question out there. What kind of signs/patterns should I be looking out for? Thanks. | Father has paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis. I'm in my mid-twenties and I've been having problems in recent years. Should I be worried? How would I know if I had it? Are there some signs or patterns that I should be looking out for? |
t3_3pdmoo | pettyrevenge | Don't wave your hand inches from my face | Just happened mins ago.
Just got off a long shift at work, and I get to the train station only to realize my next train home isn't for another hour. No biggie, i got my head phones and reddit on my phone, i can kill an hour. So I'm leaning against a wall out of everyone's way, face burried in my galaxy, surrounded by MTA agents who work at the station. All of a sudden there's a hand violently waving inches from my face. I look up and see this woman looking agitated that I didn't immediately acknowledge her presence signaling for me to remove my ear buds. I oblige, and calmly say "Yes?" She asks me how to get down to the street from the upper platform we were on with out taking the elevator. So I sent her down to the train platform, and all the way down to the opposite end than the stairs she was looking for where there is no exit. Enjoy your walk bitch. | woman i didnt notice waved her hand in my face to get my attention to tell her where the stairs are so i sent her to the opposite side of the train station. |
t3_pf1ja | dating_advice | 19[M] Been on two dates, trying to avoid the friendzone. | No long story really. I met a girl at ballroom dancing club and asked her out to lunch. The conversation was mediocre, but I had fun and am still interested. I get the feeling that both of us are a bit awkward which explains the poor conversation.
Today, I text her asking how her weekend was and she responds and ask if I want to grab lunch. Conversation was better than the last time, but I get the feeling I am moving towards the friendzone based upon some of the conversation. Specifically, she asked if I wanted to see Star Wars in 3D with her and maybe some of her friends. She specifically mentioned one of her roommate's (male) friends as going.
As a quick background on me, I have never been in a relationship or even kissed anyone. These two dates have been my first. I'm just winging it currently. | What can I do while seeing the movie or plan as a date to firmly move away from the friendzone and towards the relationship zone? |
t3_46rzcr | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] 4 years, I've been having an affair. | To start off we have a 8 month old son and I love him dearly and I love my girlfriend with all my heart.
Are relationship is great theres nothing I wouldn't do for her I took care of her when she was sick. I did everything a good boyfriend should then we started talking about kids.
At the time we had the stability and had an awesome relationship so I said why not. At the time during pregnancy she was always angry with me for anything. I was tired of it so I started talking to a woman (Talia) she was funny smart beautiful she had the softest voice.
It wasn't to long after that it became an emotional affair we would also sext. She knew I was in a relationship but still continued we would text most of the day. We even sent each other love letter's it wasn't to long after my son was born that things started to get better.
Me and Talia still talked albeit died down we had normal conversations. But then shortly after about 5 months in I felt neglected. I tried everything from taking care of the our son to romantic dinners but nothing seemed to work.
So I turned to Talia again we started talking and she started sending nudes. Eventually we met up and started sleeping together it felt so good to have a woman's attention.
We've been seeing each other for 3 months now and my girlfriend still doesn't know. I kinda don't want to end it but I don't know what to do. | I felt neglected and started an affair. |
t3_1d87xj | relationships | My bf (26) is going to take tango classes with another woman(?). Should I be worried? | My bf (26) moved to another city and doesn't know anyone there. He wants to take dancing classes and is now looking for a new partner via sites like okcupid and pof. He has had sex with his previous tango partner even though he was not attracted to her at all, he says. (we weren't officially in a relationship back then and this was 1 year ago. I only found out about this a couple of weeks ago.)
I (25) am not only asking advice for my situation in particular, I would like to know if you would feel comfortable. Am I the problem here? | bf is gonna take tango classes. He is looking for a dance partner on okcupid, because he doesnt know anyone in the city. Is this okay? |
t3_3633kd | relationships | How do I[34F] open up to my therapist[50-ishF]? | I made an appointment with my therapist for next month. It was the earliest non-urgent appointment she had available, though I'd hoped to see her sooner. I've been struggling a lot with depression again and its starting to feel like all the hard work I've done the past year is slipping away. I need to get a handle on things.
In the time I've been seeing her she's helped a lot, but for the most part its been with learning to control and manage behaviors. I don't like discussing my emotions much and she's been great about respecting that. But I think now I need to break that barrier and I don't know how to do it. There are things I'd like to say to her but I literally can't make the words come out. I've started to write it down on paper or in an email and I get hit by the same paralyzing fear. The thought of her actually reading it gives me an anxiety attack.
I'm not sure how to get past this, I just know I need to before I find myself back in a pit of depression. How do I make it work? | I need a therapist to help me learn to talk to my therapist. |
t3_12bbur | relationships | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] with my ex [F22]. My girlfriend now knows, how do I win her back? | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] with my ex [F22]. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year.
I cheated on her this summer. My ex had invited me to spend the weekend with her at her house (we were friends and I wanted to go). I told my girlfriend about it and my girlfriend told me she was uncomfortable with me going and would really prefer if I didn't go. I got really mad at her and we didn't talk for a few days. During those days, I went to my ex's house and I slept with my ex.
I didn't tell my girlfriend because I knew it would hurt her if she knew and I really love my girlfriend. I don't want our relationship to end because I was incredibly stupid one weekend.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. One of my friends is talking to my girlfriend. He asks how our relationship is going and she says that it's good. He responds that he's surprised, given what had happened this summer. She, of course, has no idea what he's talking about. And he tells her (not realizing she didn't know) that I had slept with my ex.
My girlfriend then confronts me, asking me if it's true. I tell her the truth. I tell her everything. She tells me she needs some space and time to think. We haven't spoken since.
I don't even know what I was thinking. I don't have feelings for my ex, I don't even think my ex is attractive. I love my girlfriend. I can't believe I did this. How do I win her back? | I [M20] cheated on my girlfriend [F19] of one year with my ex [F22]. How do I earn her forgiveness and win her back? |
t3_3mw808 | personalfinance | Mother is dying, I am trying to prepare while I am still in a strong emotional state. What should I do with her property? | Hopefully this is the correct place to post this, but maybe it would be better suited for /r/legaladvice or some real estate subreddit. Anyways, My mother is not long for this world (chronic smoker her whole life, and is now suffering the consequences) and I know I need to get some of her affairs in order while I still have the mental capacity to do so.
Here is the situation (to the best of my knowledge):
She owns a mobile home and a couple acres of land (she owes nothing on them). Her condition has gotten to the point where she will need to move in with me and will require in home care. She basically has no assets aside from the land since the mobile home is in pretty bad condition (could probably get it condemned). She is on disability and medicaid with no other source of income.
My main concern is what will happen to the property when she passes? I can only assume the bills for her care will grow pretty large in the coming months before her passing and I am currently under the impression that the state will seize whatever assets she has upon her death since they are footing the bill for the majority of her medical expenses. Is this true? Can she sign it over to someone before she passes? The land is really not worth that much and I would hate to see it leave our family but I am not in a position to pay anything market value for it. | My mother with no income who relies on the state for income is dying and I am not sure what options (if any) we have with her assets |
t3_wd82l | AskReddit | Is rape really worse than murder? Details inside | So recently I was made aware of this whole [Daniel Tosh thing] where he essentially got into a little spat with a girl about a rape joke that he told. She didn't like it, he shot back, and after joking that the girl be raped by several men, she and her friend left. This soon prompted a flurry of discussion, and a (some might say half-hearted) apology from Tosh.
My Facebook has exploded with my female friends citing their outrage at Tosh, but my first thought was, "what if he has said murder?" I mean, rape is a tragic, disgusting thing to happen to anyone, but if he had said "wouldn't it be funny if this girl got murdered right now" rather than raped, would there be this big of a response? For some reason, as bad as rape is in my male mind, I can't quite reconcile how this is worse than taking of a life, yet killing, murdering, and all that are sort of second hand in our culture now. What do you think?
Am I crazy to think that maybe the world is over reacting, and how did something like rape and not murder, or torture, or domestic abuse (all of which effect countless people every day) become such a hot button issue? | Tosh takes a rape joke a bit too far (maybe) and gets lambasted, but why aren't other serious crimes taken up with such intensity and furvor? |
t3_19kbib | BreakUps | What do I [m16] do.. [f16][f18] | Hey guys, just looking on some insight on what to do since I'm kind of lost. :/
I dated C for about 1 year (F16). It was amazing, and I could say she was my first love. Things sparked from the start and things were awesome. The way we acted around each other, the way we trusted each other, and just how comfortable we were with one another. We shared a lot of firsts, if you know what I mean and we grew really attached to each other. I could see myself dating her for a long time, until about the end of January.
Few months prior, things have gotten kind of ehh. Been fighting more often, and things in general have not been AS smooth as before. She became really reliant on me in a very unhealthy way in my opinion, so with that coupled with the fact that I wanted to experience other people lead me to break up with her. I was pretty clear that I wanted for both of us to meet new people, and to learn to be happy alone.
That's when I met S [F18] a few weeks later after the break up. We started talking, got closer, and I developed a little bit of a crush on her and vice versa. We started hanging out more and more, and we ended up kissing quite a few times. A few days ago we even ended up doing it and I don't know how I honestly feel about it.
Now the thing is I like S, but I don't love her. There's just things about her that she does, or doesn't, that I would want in a girl. To be honest, I keep comparing S to C, and I end up feeling like I took for granted what C did for me. I keep getting thoughts that I Want to get back together with C, but I don't know if that would be the smart choice tbh..
I'm pretty lost. Don't really know what to do. Help would be much appreciated, PMing if you would like more details to help would be great | Dating F16 for year, break up, meet new girl few weeks later, get closer, blah blah blah, end up thinking about F16 again and thinking i took what we had for granted. |
t3_2esxxz | relationship_advice | [18/m] and SO is [19/f] long distance, help. | I have been dating this girl since march of this year, we actually shared classes together sophmore, junior, and senior year of high school, but had other relationships during that time. Finally, when we were both single, after I had realized how much I had cared for her, we decided to try dating. We fell in love almost immediately, we supported each other, cared for each other, and really depended on each other in some seriously teenage angsty times. We spent every minute possible together, whether it be after school, at each other's extracurricular events, or over the summer. Summer came and went, and now we are at different colleges, separated by a few hours of driving. I am in love with this woman, and I want to be with her for a very long time, I need your advice, especially from those that have survived long distance relationships and made it out still with your SO, because I don't want to lose her. Thank you. | In love, far away, want to stay together through it, advice on how to survive? |
t3_2d8gfv | tifu | TIFU by fainting in a maths exam | Before we begin there are a few things you should know about me. Firstly, I've never fainted before but I was feeling a bit ill (not sure what with). I'm also slightly ginger so heat and I don't go well together although I can usually cope with it.
I'm a relatively bright guy and maths usually isn't much of a problem to me and so I didn't have many worries going into the exam, especially considering I'd done a fair amount of revision and not run into too much difficulty.
The exam was in the morning and there was also another exam going on at the same time so in total around a hundred people were in the exam hall, most of whom I'd never spoken to before.
The exam was going fairly well until the last half hour or so where I started to panic slightly as I realised I was unlikely to finish. This was also the point where I realised I forgot to bring water; probably my downfall as it was getting rather sweaty in the hall.
After a few minutes I could no longer concentrate at all so I asked to step outside. By this point I was pretty light-headed and so as soon as I stood up I felt myself falling and then BAM. Fainted just before I could reach the doors and next thing I saw was the entirety of the hall looking at me in a mixture of shock, slight sympathy and "oh look, who's that idiot who just fainted in a maths exam?" | had an exam, was quite hot, forgot to bring water, got stressed and fainted in front of many people I didn't know |
t3_1morts | relationship_advice | How can I stop resenting my partner for something that's not their fault? | Here are the facts:
(1.) My partner and I are around the same age and live together, but
(2.) I've graduated from college and have a full time corporate job, and they are still going to school and working a part-time minimum wage retail job.
(3.) I make twice what they make, and so I try to cover as much of the shared grocery/household expenses as I can.
(4.) I work a consistent schedule, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays (with a commute that is one hour either way, so more like 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.), whereas they mostly work mornings and on weekends and go to school at night on weekdays, coming home late around 9 or 10 p.m.
Because of this arrangement, it seems to work out that I have become BOTH the primary breadwinner AND the homemaker, coming home from what feels like a 10 hour day just to make dinner for my partner and then go to bed. Neither of has much time or energy to clean (although my partner does dishes usually! I am very grateful for that) and so the house is kind of a mess, and when I get home, I often consider spending the few hours of free time I have before I make dinner cleaning the house, but it just exhausts me to even look at it.
I love my partner very much, and I know my partner would contribute more (financially and physical housework-wise) if they could, and that they even feel bad for being so busy and are incredibly stressed from having to pay their way through college and work so much, but I can't help getting really frustrated about bearing what feels like the brunt of the shared relationship duties. | because of time/financial reasons I am both the breadwinner and the homemaker in my relationship and it really stresses me out |
t3_33hipj | relationships | Boyfriend[27M] of 1.5 yrs doesn't want to have sex with me[28F] | My boyfriend and I live together and have been dating for almost 2 years. He never wants to have sex. He is affectionate with cuddling but there is no sexual contact at all. It is as infrequently as once every two months. I do try to initiate but I get hurt and frustrated when I am constantly rejected. It is worse over the last year but even in the beginning was less frequently than I am comfortable with (less than 3x a week for a new relationship?).
I feel like it is a problem with me, it has started to affect my self-esteem. He tells me it isn't me and he has never had a high sex drive. I ask if I turn him on and he says nothing does.
I don't know what to do. I try to be understanding and supportive. There are a lot of reasons that his libido could be low;
He's overweight, He's been unemployed since November, He's a smoker, He's not active (at all), etc
He is fairly open about discussing why he doesn't feel like having sex with me, if I prompt him, but mostly he says he doesn't know why and gets frustrated and I feel like I am making him feel worse about himself. He wont go to the doctor because he is embarrassed. That makes me really angry, I feel like he doesn't care enough about our relationship in the long run to make an effort.
I don't know what to do. Our relationship has been going through a difficult time. I feel like I have a roommate and not a boyfriend. I feel undesirable and just disgusting. I am not ready to end this relationship, but I suspect he is. It's hard for me to think anything other than that when he doesn't desire me sexually. I want to fight for this, I want to make us happier, I want to have sex with my partner again. | My boyfriend doesn't have any sex drive and it's destroying our relationship. |
t3_3y9zxj | relationships | I'm [23M] unsure how to get back in contact with an old friend [20'sF] | So I used to have a really close friend (it was a platonic friendship) who to this day has been the person I've clicked with better than anyone else, even lovers. Let's call her Jane. I've never had such a deep understanding with anyone else before or since knowing Jane.
One day, one of said lovers (my first) was unhappy with the friendship me and Jane had, and me being super naïve and under the misconception of what love is, agreed ridiculously to sever ties. I regretted instantly, but believed it was the right thing to do.
Further down the line, the lover wanted me to sever more and more friendships and I realised how fucked up it was, and now me and lover are no longer loving.
I haven't spoken to Jane for nearly 3 years, but think of her often and want to get back in touch, as friends. I realise that the friendship likely won't be the same as it was, or she may not even want to talk to me at all because I was a total dick, and I accept that. But I think it's worth a shot at least.
The only means of contact I have for this person is through Facebook, but sending a request seems too forward. I would message, but it seems that people who aren't friends can't see messages you send them anymore, unless I'm wrong.
What should a man do/say? | Platonic friendship ended by my naivety, because a lover wanted it over with. 3 years later I want to reconnect as friends (knowing that I was a dick, and that they may not actually want to know me) and can only do so via Facebook. What does a guy do/say? |
t3_4fbb24 | relationships | My [21F] relationships seem great but I never feel anything - what could be wrong? | I've been in several relationships over the years but they only ever seem to last a few months, usually ending fairly mutually, but the most recent guy I started seeing has highlighted something to me and I'm very confused.
We get on great, the conversation is very easy, we share enough similar hobbies and different ones that things stay interesting and are very sexually compatible - the problem is that I don't seem to feel anything towards him, I feel horribly passive.
He's nice, and I like him, but I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I go to see him or think about him or anything, I just feel like I'm going through the motions.
It made me think about my other relationships and I'm seeing a similar trend - everything seeming great but that special something not being there.
So I guess it comes down to me questioning if I'm just picking the wrong people to go out with or if there might be something a bit deeper going on? And should I continue seeing this current guy since we have a good time together or is it not fair to him to stick around if I don't really feel anything more than friendship for him? | Seem to be in great relationships but never have any strong/romantic feelings for them - what's wrong? |
t3_32dl6a | relationships | Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M]: Did any of you men (or you girl's husbands) think you'd marry later on in life, but did so sooner when you found the right person? | First of all, I am not irrational or dramatic, clingy or anything the like (just a bit of context :) )
My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 2 years, through some classes in university, and what not. We weren't really friends but we started seeing each other more over summer last year, and finally became a couple at the beginning of the year. We're both in our early 20s, as per the title.
We both grew up and still live in the same city in Spain, Spanish families and whatnot and have more or less the same upbringing and families. As you know, Spain is very different from, say, America or more "open minded" countries. Overall, it really is a great relationship and I adore the fact that we're both very nondramatic and communicative.
A couple weeks ago we were discussing some issues we had and quite offhandedly we came across the topic of marriage. He mentioned that he doesn't want to be married until his 30s and that we probably won't get married. We both had never really dated before, so we're pretty new to relationships. This guy isn't playing with me, as I've met his family, his friends and overall I know he loves me, respects me and is serious about me.
I'd never really thought seriously of marrying him because of our short relationship, but I also know that this is something that is really important to me and that I always knew I wanted to marry more or less at 25.
**The real thing here is...As all mighty and knowledgeable men: Do you think with time and with actually realizing he's with a good woman, compatible with him and everything, he might think differently about marriage? He has it really clear that he does want a wife and family (ie, he's not at all opposed to marriage), but his idea at the moment is that this will be later on in life. He also has several young married friends and cousins, so it's not something he is "kept away" from. | We're both in our early 20s, I want to marry young and he not so much. Did you think you'd marry in your 30s but did so sooner when you found the right girl? |
t3_1q18c5 | AskReddit | Can reddit help me track down my dad's christmas gift? Any help would be appreciated! | Hey reddit,
I have always been impressed with your ability to make shit happen. I am in need of this power.
I need to get a christmas gift for my dad this year. He is an avid cruiser and each new ship he cruises on, he buys a ship model of that ship. He has every model of each ship he has been on, except the first ship that he ever cruised on in 1997(?). He is missing a model from the Celebrity Mercury. The ship is also known as the Mein Schiff 2. The Mercury is no longer in service and any production of the ship models has been halted. But somewhere, there has to be a ship model for the Mercury that I can get a hold of. | I need a ship model from a cruise ship that is no longer in service. |
t3_3gdbat | relationships | Me [17 M], have trouble feeling secure around other people. | When I was young I remember my parents fighting a lot and being very critical of my behavior in many ways. I sort of turned into a "good" polite kid and suppressed my self in many situations.
Since then my parents have divorced, and remarried, and then divorced again. I'm not sure exactly how this has affected me but I think that *maybe* my own feelings were neglected because my parents were very young when they had me (17/18) and so I guess I adapted to not needing anyone.
Now I feel very tense around my parents and don't feel like I can talk to them. I feel like they are there to judge my actions. I can tell that they really do love me but it's hard for me to reciprocate and things like hugs and saying "I love you" feels very strange for me. This distance carries over to all of my friendships as well, and I feel like I have to force myself to smile and make people know that I care about them.
Often when I am sitting with my friends (who are also somewhat avoidant) I feel the urge to hug them and tell them I love them but it seems impossible. But when I am with people who are more forward with their feelings I get annoyed and close off.
I'm just wondering if I can change. | I distance myself from those I care about but when I get closer it feels weird. I don't like doing this but it's the only way I know how, possibly because of my childhood. |
t3_32vjmw | relationships | How to get over a girl [F19] when you see her every day? | I [M19] have had very strong feelings for a girl for two years now. Our parents are good friends so we grew up together. I never really thought about her as anything other than a friend until I was 17. We were just talking in my bedroom one day (normal thing for us at the time) and we both said that we'd never kissed anyone. We ended up sharing our first kiss that day. Just like that, I was hooked. Eventually I told her I wanted to be together, she said (among other things) that she didn't.
We ended up getting into the same program at university. It's an advanced program in which there are only about 30 people. So I see her every single day. On top of that, our families get together on holidays as well. That is all to say, that she is everywhere I go. We still talk and stuff, but we have drifted apart a bit since university started (which is helping). But she is still in every lecture that I'm in, every lab, every tutorial. I can't transfer to a different uni, because this is the best program there is - I don't want to sacrifice my education for her.
I was dealing with it relatively well, but recently she started dating some guy. He's better than me in every way (taller, more attractive, stronger). They're always kissing. Always. It's ridiculous. It can't be healthy. I've dated two girls since university started. One simply couldn't hold a conversation, so that lasted like 3 dates. The other got back with her ex after 2 months. The hardest part is that every time I close my eyes I see this image of them together and it wont go away. It's been about a year since she rejected me. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to kill someone soon. | I have had feelings for a girl for 2 years now. I see her everyday, it's unavoidable. How do I get over her? |
t3_3ctoos | tifu | TIFU by thinking a door was open... | **This actually happened a few years ago.**
One summer, I was visiting my grandpa's house on my dad's side. He keeps his windows incredibly clean, so you can see where this is going. Anyway, it was the day after his birthday, and we had gotten him a new iPad. We came over to help him set it up. Anyway, I would play this incredibly stupid game where I opened his glass door, and repeatedly jumped through it to the other side. Later, I went inside, and helped him set up the iPad. Then, I went back outside to resume the super dumb time-killing game. What I didn't know, though, was that my grandpa had closed the door in the man time. I took a running start, jumped, and slammed against the glass door. It didn't break, but my thumb hurt like hell. Later that day, we were supposed to visit my grandparents on my mom's side, and stay for a few days. On our way, my thumb started hurting so bad with every movement that I couldn't even move it anymore. We decided to go to the hospital with my grandpa on my mom's side, after he picked us up. To make a long story short, we went to the hospital, and they diagnosed it as broken. I had to wear a full wrist cast for a while after that. I also play the piano, so you can imagine the struggle. | My grandpa's glass door is so crystal clear, I accidentally jumped into it. It wasn't the glass that broke. It was my thumb. |
t3_52249b | relationships | My [21F] friend [22M] got recorded through his iPhone camera and is now being threatened for money. | I apologize if this sounds a bit rushed or if this might not be the right place to post a question like this.
My friend was watching porn and soon after received a friend request from a stranger located in Asia. Somehow, this person found my friend's information and sent a video of him jerking off to his Facebook and is now demanding money. He sent the money.
I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to possibly help my friend in this situation. I never knew that hacking through someone else's camera would be possible. If this isn't the right place for this question, any advice would be greatly appreciated! | friend got recorded masterbating through his iPhone camera while watching porn and is now being threatened to send money or else the video will be uploaded |
t3_30jald | relationships | Me [22 F] been going out with a guy [25 M] for 2 weeks now and he still hasn't made a move | We've been out for maybe 5 dates now, we've only kissed once. He talks to me every day, and I'm trying not to be pushy all the while sending him signals, sometimes trying to dirty talk through text, but he can't seem to pick up on any of that. I've hinted many times that I want to have a night in with him, to which he replied: "we should definitely do that" but never really set a date to make it happen. He does give off the conservative vibe, before we first kissed he asked me if he could kiss me, and another time he asked if he could touch my leg while we were talking, in an attempt to be playful. Which I think is nice, but the whole situation is frustrating me and I want things to move forward, because it makes me feel that maybe I'm not sexually attracted to him because he's not working on it. | Going out with a really cute guy who's also into me, but who just wouldn't make a move to sleep with me, and it's making me feel frustrated. |
t3_3xvc58 | relationships | My (20M) bestfriend (21M) from highschool and I have reconnected after a long period of me finding myself. | After highschool I moved away from my small hometown for many reasons; mostly to start fresh and figure out my issues and what I wanted from life.
I moved back home after finding myself, I came back for family, some friends and for a career.
One of my absolute bestfriends from highschool, let's call him Joe, and I ended a 3 year long quarrel regarding his ex. Long story short on that is he is insecure and thought I was screwing his ex girlfriend at the time when I wasn't; all is well now.
Anyways, the girlfriend and I have invited Joe over a few times and had a few drinks. We reminisced over old stories and laughed, but he hasn't changed at all from highschool. He is still the same insecure guy who has no confidence with women. I love the guy like a brother, but he gets weird.
He sends me texts all day long, and recently sent me a youtube link to the song "Bromance." It's a funny song, a few years old at that, but I'm no longer a young kid and I don't think it's appropriate to be acting this way towards my friends. I'm barely intimate with my girlfriend, I certainly have issues with being intimate with an old friend.
I may sound a bit bigoted here, but I feel he's making weird moves at me. I know he has severe issues with trust and confidence mostly relating to his family problems, but I am not his father or someone who wants to be that intimate with him.
Basically how do I talk to him about this, as he is very immature and insecure to boot, without damaging our newly rekindled friendship? How do I set the tone for how we can be friends?
I don't want to make him feel bad in the slightest, I think he may just be looking for affection in the wrong areas. | Old friend is getting creepily close and I feel like maybe he is searching for affection in the wrong people. |
t3_3bxt96 | tifu | TIFU by showing my grandma pictures of her dead spouse | Hello redditors! Earlier today my grandma came over to visit because of family reasons and stuff. She eventually got bored and went over to our computers to check out some old pictures (i think its just for a nostalgia rush) so she told me to help her look through for the pictures so being the good grandson i am, i went and helped her look. This is where the fuck-up happens, I randomly chose an album so I went into presentation mode so she could see better. The next thing you know it goes to a picture of her spouse who is currently deceased... Being, you know a human she started crying right away making me feel like a big dick. We haven't spoken to each other for hours, what have I done?! | I showed my grandma pictures of her dead spouse on accident |
t3_19qmeo | relationships | How do I (26f) handle a situation regarding my bf (28)'s crude coworkers? | Background:
My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years. Our relationship is pretty healthy and we do well together. I have very low self-esteem though and some body-image issues.. which may be involved in my problem.
The Situation:
My bf works in retail at a lower-income store and his co-workers can be quite crude. I often go visit him on his breaks after I get home from work and as a result I see his coworkers regularly. When I see them, they are very nice an friendly to my face. However, after I leave, they say very inappropriate things to my bf like "damn, did she feel loose last night?" (implying that I had slept with the coworker,) or "damn, she looked so hot in that dress I bought her" (implying that they had purchased my dress for me.) One in particular, we will call him Bob, is a frequent jerk.
I have told my bf before that I do not want to hear this comments, and he has respected that. However, last night we were talking about how rude some of his coworkers were and he told me that Bob said something else about me. I was really frustrated and it made me really upset.
I understand that guys can be jerks, and this is something I need to accept because I cannot change them. I also understand that there is not much he can do to prevent them from speaking up. He could complain, but his job is very important to him and part of why he has been successful in his work is that he does not involve himself in drama.
I think my only solution is to remind him to stop telling me about it and just not think about it.. what does Reddit think? | My boyfriend's coworkers are assholes and I take their comments too personally. |
t3_32286d | offmychest | this one particular best friend. | Best friends annoy me. If I'm playing a game or doing something with their best friends, they HAVE to be in it. I was playing SpeedRunners earlier with my friend and it was a good few games (even though she won a lot lol) and then a funny glitch happened, so I recorded a video of it and sent it to a few friends and her best friend, who is also my best friend. Then she starts getting all pissy and saying "oh yeah thanks for not inviting me", I genuinely didn't think of inviting her at the time, since she was inactive on Steam, so I apologised to her, she sent another message saying "thanks". I've been this girl's best friend for practically most of our lives and she can't like it when I've been playing a game with her best friend without inviting her. She is such a stubborn and bitchy person whenever someone is doing things with her best friend without her. Of course, this is basic human nature, BUT STILL. This is just one of those things that really grind my fucking gears. | played a game with friend, best friend didn't like it, annoys me a lot. |
t3_28i7n0 | relationships | Me 18 M with the girl I like 18 F | So this girl and I have been talking for a while (we're good friends) and I like her and I'm hinting that she likes me back. Last night, she texted me asking "Do you like me" to which I replied this morning "Yeah, I really do" and she replies "Aww I wanted to see your reaction, so sweet!" (apparently she was drunk when she texted me that question). So I ask her if she likes me back and she says "I like you a hugee amount (wot.)! But I don't know you that well yet" and I go "let me take you out then" to which she replies "Aw I will, it will be easier when school starts". Problem is, school starts in 3 months and I get it, we live three hours away so it would be kinda hard to start dating now but I'm still a little confused as to if she likes me or no. She initiates conversations a lot, and she likes to call me "awesome" and "sweet" on occasion. Should I abandon, burn, and explode ship or nah. | Confused about this girl asking if I liked her |
t3_2pzp7m | relationships | Self Esteem and Damaged Goods (20F with 20M) | I'm a college student (20F) that's been with her 20M boyfriend for nearly two years. He's absolutely perfect--smart, funny, caring, compassionate, etc. I, unfortunately, have little to offer him. I'm not attractive, I'm not very intelligent, we have none of the same hobbies or interests. Yet he loves me and wants to be with me indefinitely, and I'm certain I want to marry this man.
My question is this: if we were to break up, I'm afraid of being seen as damaged goods by every other man. We haven't had sex for two reasons--I'm terrified of the pain and I don't want to risk pregnancy even though I have several BC methods at my disposal. I understand that sex is necessary to keep a man around long-term, and I know he doesn't want to hurt me. But right now I'm just sort of waiting it out and buying as much time as possible.
Please help? I want to make him happy but I'm scared of being thought of as a slut by other men in the future (if this relationship doesn't work out) and I'm also afraid of getting hurt and being used.
Some other information: I'm a virgin, so is he. No sexual abuse history. No prior relationship experience on either side. He has never once pressured me into sex--he's willing to wait as long as I need, which makes me feel worse because I don't have much to offer him as a person. | College girl scared to have sex with long term boyfriend due to fear of pain and fear of being labeled a slut by subsequent men. |
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