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t3_2oy7c1 | relationships | 2yrs. with sweet SO (21/M) but he's starting to bore me (20/F) | my boyfriend and i have been dating for two years now, since my freshman year of college. we knew each other in high school but things didn't heat up until after graduation. this is my longest relationship to-date and he is an amazing guy (sweet, respectful, supportive) but i'm starting to get bored.
not just bored with the relationship (yes, we do the same thing every time we hang out) but i'm worried that i'm bored with him. he has stopped pursuing an education since graduating high school (i realize that college/institutional learning isn't for everyone, but i think reading and learning about things you are passionate about is important for mental health & happiness). he is a hard worker (two jobs) and says all the right things when i talk about the future, but i can't help but feel like he's just telling me what i want to hear.
all of his friends do pretty much the same thing (work a few jobs, get high after work and game until morning) and i worry that nothing will change despite what he tells me. we don't have many common interests (the most significant being our relationship) but he adores me and assures me that he would never leave me. i don't want to break his heart, especially if i'm at all unsure -- i tend to discount emotions and worry that i'm being a heartless bitch.
any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. | 2 yr relationship with seeming unmotivated SO (21/M), worried he is boring me (20/F) |
t3_2xvveu | relationships | [21M] It's been 3 weeks, having troubles getting over her [23F]. | *Same breakup as the posts [here (10 days in)] and [here (5 days in)](
It's been three weeks. Well, more precisely, 23 days. In that time I've deleted her on facebook (though saving the over 44000-word conversation we had as some kind of archive deep in my computer), deleted her number, and generally kept no contact other than very formally (and coldly) wishing her a happy birthday last week.
I've started both an OKCupid and a Tinder, and I've been having conversations with girls on both, most of which have been pleasant experiences. I haven't gone on any dates, but this girl I've been texting from OKC seems interested and I could go for some companionship.
I'm still hurting. My life still has its ups and downs, and it's getting really hard to see the good parts of being single. At my absolute lowest, though I don't act on it, I very much feel that I want her back (even though reading through my past posts will have you convinced it's a bad idea). However, I acknowledge that this is most likely me missing the *companionship* instead of just missing her.
Fuck being single. No really, FUCK being single. Call me a serial monogamist, but I ENJOY having someone around to call my own. Someone to hang out with constantly, someone I can randomly text about how their day is going. My friends all stick to the sage advice of "it's better to be single than in a shitty relationship", but honestly I hate sleeping alone. I hate not having someone to cuddle with. Dreaming of her then waking up alone in the bed we shared is NOT a pleasant way to start the day.
I'm not really sure what my question is. I think I just want to know how long my life is going to be shitty like this, and how long it'll be before I know that my future relationships aren't rebounds. | I'm still hurting from my breakup 3 weeks ago, I want to get over her and on with my life. Fuck being single. |
t3_1fnt6c | pettyrevenge | The Weirdest Revenge Kiss of Her Life? | Earlier this year, one of my best friends and roommates "Kyle" was dating a gorgeous girl with a reputation for screwing guys over. He had really fallen for her and she genuinely seemed to feel the same way, talking about how she had changed and never felt this way about other guys before. Since he is one of my best friends, I tried to be unbiased and not have any assumptions about her just because of what other people had said. Our group of friends accepted her and defended her, since she our friend's girl, until we found out that she had definitely been cheating on him. Multiple times. Our friend was crushed and the rest of us were understandably pissed. That weekend our crew of friends headed off to a house party, minus a somewhat heartbroken Kyle. And after we got there, who should appear there but the girl who had been cheating on him. We ignored her and continued to have a usual fun night, until several hours later we see her in a corner with our seemingly hammered friend "Nick", flirting with him and getting really touchy-feely. Just as we're starting to worry about what he might do, she leans in to kiss him and Nick does what has come to be known only as "The Dementor's Kiss". He tilted sideways, opened his mouth as wide as possible, put as much of his mouth over hers as possible( from above her lips almost down to her chin) and just starts sucking inwards while making a noise like a clogged vacuum sucking up a large slushy. After a few shocked seconds that felt like an eternity, she screamed like a dying bat and ran out of the room while we alternated between cheering and laughing hysterically. The story made its way around our college and several people had captured the beautiful moment with pictures. Petty, and she had a new boy toy within a week, but still hilarious at the time it happened. | My buddy publicly embarrassed our friend's cheating ex with the most awkward and uncomfortable kiss Iv seen in my life. |
t3_2clwnd | relationships | I (22f) am uncomfortable because of coworker (23m) and things he talks about. | Throwaway because I don't want work to find me. Names have all been changed for safety.
We've worked together less than 6 months. Tom has been here shortest, for about 2 months and has been a nuance the entire time.
My coworker, Tom (23m), has the tendency to make me uncomfortable. He has made sexist comments before, in front of our supervisor. Well, today he was asking the guys in my area for advice.
He was asking our supervisor, Bill (30s? M), and coworker, Damian (late 20s? M) for advice about cheating on his girlfriend. She is his second baby momma.
I'm pretty sure Bill and Damian were telling Tom not to cheat towards the end, but at first they seemed to be trying to help him. I think Bill was trying to get him to stop talking about it.
It made me extremely uncomfortable. Damian, Tom, and I work for a temp agency. I am considering going to our boss through the agency, as she is also hr for us. But I'm worried about going to her because I think that'll give her reason to fire me.
This is a workplace, not a hangout. These are not your friends. It is so unprofessional to talk about these things at work. | My(22f) coworker (23m) was asking coworker and supervisor advice on how to cheat on his girlfriend. I'm uncomfortable, but afraid temp agency will fire me if I report it. |
t3_4ytaks | relationships | Is this girl [20,F] reading my [20,M] advances correctly? | So I asked /r/relationships of I should message this girl from high school I used to have a crush on. I ended up messaging her and we talked briefly about how I havent seen her since high school and how's college been for her. Well I told her that we should meet up and catch up. She messages back the next day saying "alright forsure." But I saw on my instagram feed that she went to this concert and was with another guy, who I'm assuming is her boyfriend. I now don't think she's reafing my advances right. Am reading too much into this? | girl agrees to meet up, then notice she posted a picture with a guy at a concert. |
t3_2r1d8f | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend [20F] of 2 months (best friends for 2 years), startet to play LoL at new years party :s | My very new official girlfriend is a gamer (im also a gamer, btw), and im having trouble "adapting" to this new lifestyle. My ex-gf's have never played videogames seriously like my current gf does, so there's a lot of things i really struggle with, but on new years eve something strange happened.
We were together at this party and everyone was having fun and getting drunk. After the fireworks, we were all pretty wasted and me and my GF where not hanging out together. I was talking to some people, and she was talking to some other people. Not a big deal, obviously. But after a while, i started looking for her and then i find her down in the basement playing League of Legends on the hosts computer with a couple of guys looking at her playing. I kinda freaked out a little bit, but didnt show anyone that i did because i didnt want to make a scene. So i just left the house with a friend for a little bit to calm myself down.
Now, my question is: Was i wrong in freaking out about this? The people at the party were all gamers too, and like i said, she was not down there alone. She was talking to those who sat there while she was playing etc... But I still cant shake the feeling that she shouldnt have done it. To me, this would've never been an option because i was at someone's party :s I just need some opinions here, because i dont know what to do...!
Sidenote: I have talked to her about it, and we both apologized for what happened and put it in the past. But i cant stop thinking about it, and i need help :o | Girlfriend started gaming at new years party, and i dont know if i was right or wrong when i freaked out about it. |
t3_2twy6k | Advice | Engineering Student - Having Trouble Finding My Place Among Friends | Hello /r/advice,
I am an engineering student in University. Recently I have had to repeat courses and as a result stayed back a couple of years. Not only did this mean that my amazing friends from first year moved on, but it also meant me finding new friends in my classes. This is important as an engineering student, because it's almost impossible getting by without knowing anyone. A lot of courses require group projects, etc.
I now have a few friends in my classes, and one friend in particular has a lot of things in common with me (program, courses, hobbies). However, sometimes I feel like I don't belong. He has anger issues so sometimes he ends up losing his temper at me, and I feel like as a friend, this shouldn't be happening as often as it does, and we should be able to communicate and solve disagreements. Sometimes I also feel like he brags too much, and I get annoyed. And at times he doesn't take things seriously and doesn't focus like the way I do, and it distracts me. His behaviors and way of doing things is so different, like he won't study when I want to study, he leaves things til last minute, and I can't do that, etc.
However I can't cut him off because I don't know many other people in my program (class sizes are much smaller now), and I don't see a lot of commonalities with other people that I do know. I need friends in my classes though, because at the end of the day we work together, share ideas and answers and help each other out.
How do I get around this. At the end of the day we are friends, and we do help each other here and there, but I don't always agree with him and I'm getting tired of his sh!t. (This is just for school btw, I have my other friends outside of school. It's just within school I feel like I don't belong anywhere). | I am behind in engineering, had to make new friends in my small classes. I have one friend that has a lot in common, but I don't always get along with him because of the way we do things. How do I find the right friends, or make things better with my one friend. Don't feel like I have found the right friends yet, but not many choices provided small class sizes. |
t3_2sghwa | relationships | My (21,M) best friend (22,M) got a girlfriend (20,F) and now I feel some type of way. | So, I pretty much cannot stop thinking about him, our friendship, and this girl. I also cannot speak for him, but I can tell you how I felt about him. In my mind, we were brothers. We shared absolutely too much time together and know each other pretty damn well because of this. Then all the sudden she happened, and we stopped talking. And, to be honest I wanted little to do with their relationship because I was afraid that somehow I would mess things up. You know, I would say something wrong or maybe even cause a scene and then they both would hate me. I respected their relationship enough to know that I needed to back off, and I did just that. I stopped in all ways pursuing him hoping that one day he would realize that he was caught up in the mother fucking hype of a new relationship and was being a shitty friend. Well, 2 months later and I haven't heard from him. Do I or should I be the one to make contact. Like, I know it sounds stupid but I feel like the both of us are refusing to loose this fucked up game of who will call the other first. What I do realize is that if nothing is done to remedy this relationship soon, there ain't going to be a relationship to fix. | Do I contact him? |
t3_2h5zel | relationships | Me [22 M] with my 22 F] and partying issues. | Me and my girlfriend who have just shortly started dating about 4 months ago have had a very healthy relationship and still do but we have very different view points currently on a situation.
She in her past relationship was very controlled by her ex and rarely spent time with her friends ever. She now spends a lot of time with her friends which I'm all for but my problem is the social setting. Almost every weekend / other weekend shes either at a party, club or a bar. I'm just uncomfortable because I rarely go out with my friends since we prefer to stay at home and because I dont feel a real need to since most people at these social gatherings / clubs are there for the sole sake of picking up the opposite sex. (On that note that's not necessarily true just my view ) Now I know her friends go just to dance or to the bar just for the sake of going out but I cant help but feel uncomfortable about her being surrounded by drunk guys constantly.
Her friends have all been there long before me so I dont want her to flop on there plans and hate me because I'm controlling. Her friends also are all single though so I can see why they would want to go to these gatherings despite my girlfriends reinsurance that they just love dancing / going out.
I'm just wondering if I'm being insecure and just move past the social setting and understand shes a very faithful person who would never cheat or am I justified in being uncomfortable with this all and what should I do? | I trust my girlfriend completely but shes constantly in social settings where she is drunk surrounded by drunk guys which does make me feel uncomfortable. I dnt want to restrict her and come off controlling and ruin her friendship with her friends. |
t3_zzncf | cats | cat lovers, i need help! introducing an older kitty and a kitten...details inside. | hello reddit! i have a seventeen year old calico named kitty. i moved to a different city for college a few years ago, and just finally got the chance to move kitty up here. before that, though, my friend's cat had kittens, and i took one from her out of the love of my heart. i named her skooma. skooma's been living with me for about four months, and she's only five months old.
i thought that introducing these cats would go much more smoothly than it did. can anyone give me some advice on how to acclimate them? they're both very protective of me, and skooma won't let me touch her. she will, however, rub her head around on my legs and make a chirpy noise. | my cats hate each other, one's almost six months and the other is seventeen. how can i get them to love each other? =] |
t3_107jj5 | Pets | Why is it so hard to adopt a rescue dog? | I have been living on my own now for a few months in a new area and have been searching for a rescue dog to adopt. I have been looking everyday on sites like Petfinder and Adopt a Pet. When I find one I feel as though will be a good match (<15 lbs, 1 - 3 years of age, not a crazy active breed since I live in an apartment) I will fill out a lengthy application that will often ask about stuff such as my income, personal references, agreeing to a home visit before adoption, etc. The responses are ALWAYS one of the following:
* "We can't give you the dog because you work 9-5/don't own another dog to act as playmate/live in an apartment." The latest was "Sorry but you have never had experience owning a dog that wasn't a family pet" (seriously?)
* They take me through the whole adoption process and the dog ends up being sick. "Sure you can have the dog. BTW on top of the $375 fee he needs $2,000 worth of surgery"
* Bait and switch - "This dog is unavailable but here are all these great 6 year old pitbulls" (No offense against older dogs or pitbulls, but when I apply for an 8 pound Pomeranian mix that is obviously not what I am looking for)
* They flat out ignore my application and follow up emails.
I understand wanting the 'right' match for a rescue dog is a good thing, but I am a responsible single adult who has a decent income and lives on her own in a 880 sq foot apartment (hardly small); these shelters shun me as if I enjoy kicking puppies around. I am about to give up and just get one at a pet store. | Having trouble finding a shelter that will let me adopt a dog. |
t3_35fk5g | tifu | TIFU by running around naked in my house. | ***This is a re-post from my last account***
So here's what happened. My little brother was doing this play thing for his school and my mum had to go drop him off, afterwards she came back to get changed and my dad also came home from work to get changed and then my dad would drive them both to where the play was. They told me that one of my mums friends would look after me and my other little brother. If she didn't show up I'd just have to take care of my brother myself and I was fine with that.
I was playing GTA with my friend (online, not together in the same room) and I heard the door open and close, then open and close once again. I thought they must have went out, forgot something, came back in and then once again out. I could hear my little brother was downstairs so I knew it was my time to 'shine'. Me being my fabulous self, I completely undressed and ran/skipped to my toilet while singing at the top of my lungs "Livin' in the Sunlight". After I finished with my business in the toilet I went back to my room, I had calmed down quite a bit while at the toilet so I wasn't as hyper and just walked back, casually so you could say. As I was walking back to my room I heard a voice other than my little brothers downstairs and I froze. I spent a good five minutes just frozen, listening to my little brother and my mums friend having a conversation...
I think you'll find I didn't bother going back down the stairs for the rest of the time she was around and I don't think I ever will. | Thought I was alone, decided to fuck around naked in my house. I wasn't alone... |
t3_29tth3 | relationships | Me [22/F] with my boyfriend [38/M] 1.5 years, He says my attitude has changed, what to do? [NSFW language] | My SO is threatening to break things off with me because he says my attitude has been/become mean and uncaring. I really don't mean for it to be that way and I am at lost for what to do.
An example would be he wanted to have sex this morning and I was not in the mood. When he asked me if I wanted to I said "No, not really". My tone was cranky, I'll admit that but it's only because our alarm has gone off and he told me to re-set it for an hour later. What had aggravated me was that he said "Why did we set it for 8?" in an accusatory tone when it was his idea to get up at that time. [I'm sorry if this is wordy, I just want to paint a full picture]. Then, he harrumphed and got a little pissy. So I said "Well, I'm no wet, what do you want to do, put your cock in my dry pussy?". I know this was wrong, but I had literally just gotten up and didn't think to solve it in a mature, proactive way.
He said this was the last straw and he didn't want to be with me anymore. We have had a couple arguments about this before and he said he was done with me.
I know I'm wrong, I don't know why I act this way, I want to stop and I don't want him to leave me. How do I show him that I am changing/will change/ will not continue this behavior, and how do I stop myself from speaking like this? It's like I have no filter anymore. I do have a therapy appointment for next week but I'm afraid it's already too late. Please help me. | I'm a bitch to my boyfriend, how do i stop my behavior and how do I win him back? |
t3_2yflwd | tifu | TIFU by examining my testicles in the shower. | Ok, so this happened today!
I have had the flu for about a week and after playing gta v for the last few days was over due a shower, so this morning I jumped in the shower as enthusiastically as I could upon cleaning myself I noticed that things didn't appear to be normally coloured and compared to my hand were almost black, I freaked out a lot and upon inspection my wife agreed. I was now convinced some super flu bug was ravaging my system and that I was going to loose them.
It's a holiday here today but the doctors is open for 1 hour at 10am so I stumbled up to the doctors and joined the queue sweat literally pouring off me there was no free seats and old people were offering me there's.
Convinced that castration was on the cards I was called in to see the doctor, I managed speaking quite well until it was time to mention blacksack. Dr looked puzzled and pointed at the exam bed and motioned to drop them which I did with surprising ease, he looked for a few seconds and proclaimed what's wrong with them? They are perfectly normal mine would be like that. Relief quickly turned to embarrassment and I hastily left no doubt adding another story to the doctors wtf list. | blacksack was normal dr probably lol after |
t3_3fdgis | relationships | Am I [21F] being unreasonable in expecting my boyfriend [21M] to make plans for our future? | My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years, since our freshman year of college. We are each other's first love and he is everything that I want in a partner: smart, caring, funny, respectful and handsome. We're going into our senior year and have started discussing the future.
We've both said that we'd like to stick together and continue dating in the long term. My dream has always been to get a PhD in political science, so I would like to either 1) spend a year or two abroad getting fluent in a foreign language or 2) get a masters degree and take language classes on the side. His dream is to get a year-long internship in our local city government and then apply to law school. Luckily our college gives graduates access to lots of great opportunities so I'm confident that we can find things that are close by and fulfil some, if not all, of our individual goals.
My worry is that my boyfriend seems unwilling/ unable to plan for his future. He doesn't seem to have made any steps towards securing his goals, or figuring out what he will do if they don't work out. I hate pressuring people, and I understand that at this age it's completely normal not to know what you want to do. But the reality is that if we don't start figuring out at least a general outline ( such as a list of possible locations/schools) it's likely that we'll end up very far away from each other with no end point in sight. I really don't want to do long distance.
I've tried to help out. I asked around my older friends and managed to get him a set of LSAT prep books and account details for a well-reviewed online prep course. I also researched some fellowships that would provide financial support for his internship. So far he hasn't really followed up on any of these, although he did tell me that the books looked good. Am I being unreasonable in my expectations? Should I take this as a sign that our relationship is not a priority to him and back off or should I try to prod him a little more? | my college sweetheart says he sees a future with me but won't make plans for when we graduate, should I take this as a bad sign? |
t3_27qqsl | college | I want to be a 4.0 student, where do I start? | Hey reddit,
I am a junior in high school and I am going to be a senior next year but I am in an early college program where next year I will be a full time college student with 4 college classes and 1 high school class. Despite having this amazing opportunity to get so many free college credits, I have never been a very good student due to procrastination issues. My question is what can I do now over the summer to prepare to try and get a 4.0 next year and what can i do throughout the year to help. I understand "not procrastinate" but it's almost as if the thought of doing my work scares me and I'm not sure why. | I'm a horrible student with a very low GPA but not sure how to change that going into college. |
t3_1g3ph5 | relationships | I [m/29] have been dating girl [f/23] for a couple of months. Things have been going great but I was just laid off and am likely moving in 2 weeks. | I [m/29] met this girl a little over a year ago [f/23] and we dated briefly back then but lost touch for whatever reason. We ran in to each other a couple of months ago and started dating again. Things have been going great and I am really starting to like her but just two weeks ago I lost my job. I have a great opportunity a good distance away (17 hour drive, for reference) with limited prospects in the current city.
I've done long distance before and I have no problem doing it again. I'm not sure how she feels about that though and I'm not sure how I should bring it up. I guess since we are so new in to this I'm not sure if it would be foolish to think that a long distance relationship is feasible. I am leaving for the city in a couple of days to go interview but will be back soon after that. I have been honest with her about all this but deep down I have a strong feeling that I will be moving. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated. Thanks. | 29/m been dating 23/f for a couple of months. Laid off and probably moving, not sure how to approach the idea of continuing dating. |
t3_4u3b7y | relationships | My (24F) boyfriend (30M) rarely keeps his eyes open during sex. Is this normal? | Pretty much the title. I haven't had sex with many people, and this has been my longest relationship so I think I'm just starting to notice. I feel like he used to watch me during sex a lot more than he does now. I'll get some eye contact here and there, but not a lot. This isn't the case with head tho, he seems to always be watching.
We see each other 3-4 times a week and have sex at least once every time we see each other. I'm not sure why this bothers me so much. I guess I find it more intimate when there's eye contact.
Is this whole eyes closed thing normal? Maybe I'm the weird one cause my eyes are always open? I'm not sure again because I haven't had many sex partners and this is kinda embarrassing to even ask. | my boyfriend doesn't make much eye contact during sex |
t3_1tq25c | relationships | I(19M) want to take a break from dating my gf(18F) of year. Great relationship, next to no fights, also my first one. I don't want my first to be my only. Is this wrong and selfish? | As the title says, my first relationship has been great. She's been talking of moving in together and I don't know if I want to 100%. The thought of taking a break has been swimming in my head for the past month and I fear it will eventually affect our relationship anyway.
So ultimately, is it wrong and selfish of me to want to take a break and try something new? I do not expect her to wait for me at all. If she finds another guy then good for her, she definitely deserves one. The biggest problem I can see with this is that she has some depression issues and has a pretty shitty living situation right now. If I do take a break or break up with her, would it be wise to stay friends or just slowly cut off contact? Talked with some close friends and they all said that it may be time but in the back of my mind I really do enjoy this relationship but yet I do want something new. | I need a break from a great relationship because I don't want it to be my only one. |
t3_46yrbk | relationships | I've (20M) completely lost my libido, and it's ruining my ability to have relationships. | So, before we really start, I'm a 20 year old male. I'm certain of my attraction to women, long list of reasons. Anyways;
For the past 3 years, after my first real relationship (nearly a year long, end of grade 12 kind of deal) I have had literally no sex drive. Both girls I've been with (first was six months, second was a year and a couple) have left me because of my lack of sex drive. More recently even setting herself (18f) up with another guy before leaving me, making me feel even more damaged in the process.
I've tried bringing girls back to my apartment (I live with 2 roommates) to see if I could jumpstart my sexual desire, but I lose interest literally in the middle of sex and pretend to finish in order to get to stop. I feel awful afterwards, but I'll do this or get intoxicated every other night. It's either that or fight off urges to hurt myself. I'm extremely lost.
I've lost all of my close friends because of the girl who left me anyways (she was literally my best friend; figured we were in it for the long haul etc etc) and I haven't gotten along with my family in years. Now because of the multiple stunts my ex pulled and my lack of relationship with my family, I have no one to ask. So here it is Reddit; how do I fix this? Is there something definitively wrong with me? Would counselling or therapy do anything? | I can't get into sex, and I've lost multiple relationships to this. What do I do to resolve this? |
t3_jcv3m | AskReddit | I'm new to social anxiety, and not enjoying it. | hi reddit. I've been in a bit of a funk for a while. Here's some background. I'm a mid-twenties, reasonably good looking and in shape guy who is back in college after a stint in the military (no combat, no PTSD). I've got a great girlfriend, fun friends, but I can't seem to get it right.
I've always been outgoing and able to navigate social waters easily, but I don't seem to have the knack anymore. Conversations get awkward, greetings are weird, and as I'm walking down the street if I see someone coming, I'm stressing out how to react to them as they pass the whole time. I feel... ungainly, and inept. I'm stuck between trying to be a nice guy, and not being the guy that everyone walks all over. Some days I can hit a groove, talking to people and making jokes, but more often than not I feel like a faker who is trying to find a template that matches every social situation I'm in and failing miserably.
I just started a new job as well, and I think people are definitely picking up on this awkwardness. Leading people is becoming a huge stress. I know I'm qualified to lead, but when I try I feel as though I come off as either an overbearing ass, or a doormat. I just want to be able to get through a day without all this anxiety and stress about how I come off to people, and getting walked all over. This is especially intense when talking to people in my age group.
What should I do? Meditation? Yoga? I already run about 3 times a week, and lift weights, but the anxiety remains. Any advice? | can't shake a newfound feeling of inadequacy and anxiety, socially. |
t3_18703n | running | Coping with hills. | So I started running some 18 months ago. I was a complete potato, drove to work, sat at a desk, drove home, sat on the computer/TV. The area I live in is all hills, which I found to be really hard. Whilst I could run for miles on the treadmill, anything outside seemed so much harder. Just because there was inclines. As soon as I hit one, my legs went leaden and I lost all motivation, slowing to a walk. So yes I'd start running straight after, but of course it always seemed like a defeat.
I tried squats and calf lifts, core exercises, pull ups. All sorts to get me up a hill. Nothing seemed to make any real difference.
Until one day I came across two pieces of advice, one from /r/running. First off, sprinting up hills particularly after you've already done some running. This helps train you whole body to beat the incline. Secondly, smile. Smiling changes your whole attitude and makes you feel better.
So now, on the approach to that incline that caused me such distress in previous runs, I start grinning like a loon. Looking forward to a hard sprint up the hill. Of course that sprint may wipe me out, but next time I know I'll do it better. | Was a potato, starting running. Learnt to smile at hills and make them my friend. |
t3_168vc8 | relationships | [25F]I have been seeing a guy [29] who has a fetish, and I don't know how to handle it. | [Update here!](
Before I begin, I just want to make it clear that I'm not criticizing fetishism or making fun of it. I don't find it to be weird. In this case, it's driving a wedge between my partner and I, which is where you come in, Reddit.
I have been dating this great guy for a few months. He's very sweet, very caring and I really enjoy spending time with him. It's the most promising new relationship to come my way in a long time.
At first, I thought our sexual chemistry was spot on, but he has revealed to me that he has a serious BDSM fetish. It started out small, but sometimes when he shares his fantasies with me I get scared by them. He would never hurt me, but the fantasies themselves are scary to me. Before and after sex, I feel really connected to him, but during, I feel like I'm just there to pump into and he's not having sex with me (mentally) and I am just an object.
Additionally he cannot reach orgasm anymore without introducing some form of bondage.
I know I haven't been seeing this guy for very long, but I don't know what to do. I don't feel like what I have is enough for him to be sexually aroused. I have never felt so sexually inadequate. I know that he really cares for me. I have tried talking to him about it saying that I don't always emotionally feel good after sex, and he has apologized and said he will work on it. The thing is, if that's his fetish, it can't be changed, right? I don't know what to do! | dating great guy who has BDSM fetish that makes me feel inadequate. |
t3_h119y | AskReddit | Reddit, is anyone good friends with their ex girlfriend? | And I don't mean just a fling, I mean a truly meaningful relationship.
My ex-girlfriend and I dated all of senior year and we were each other's lives. When I left the east coast to go to college in LA we decided it be best to break up and 3 months later she began dating someone else. That was probably the hardest thing for me and although its been a couple of months and freshman year of college is almost over, I feel like I'm still not close to getting over my senior-year girlfriend. We sometimes talk and yesterday over the phone I told her I didn't think we could be friends and she immediately began to cry a lot and I couldn't help but feel horrible afterwards... despite the fact that I felt as though she betrayed me. Which I know she technically didn't because we were broken up...
Now I feel like there is a gaping hole in my life. I *do* want be friends but I don't know how to without torturing myself. | Had a serious relationship for a year... few months later I want to be friends but I don't know how without torturing myself. |
t3_54dg7f | self | I'm a perv and I just ruined my relationship. Please help. | I've been in a relationship for about 6 years now. I love my girlfriend with all my heart. But... I'm fucked in the head. I've had my third strike. First time I got caught texting another girl about 1 yr into relationship. Then roughly 3 years she found a fake facebook profile I had that I would use to perv on girls profiles. Now.... She just today found some creepshots I forgot to delete. There's no coming back from this, we're over. She's disgusted, sick of my lies, lost all respect for me. And I honestly can't fucking blame her.
I need help. I can't help but perv on girls, watch porn, etc. I need to stop and talk to somebody about my problem. I jerk off every day, we're lucky to have sex once a month. Has anybody dealt with something like this and what did you do? | My girlfriend of 6 years found out I'm a perv and is leaving me. How do I stop being so fucked in the head? |
t3_42hle6 | relationships | Boyfriend [25M] says he loves me [22F]. Old texts say he thinks I'm 0% attractive and just wanted sex. | I've been dating Andy for 6 months. After we started dating, I found out he had gone out with a friend of mine with the same name a couple weeks before but she didn't feel a spark. We're close, but no one had an issue with it. Let's say I'm Ally 1, she's Ally 2.
About a month in, I started seeing Andy everyday and slept with him. We started opening up, and he told me very personal things that he allegedly has told no one else. We went exclusive and he stopped dating other girls. He wanted to wait for deep feelings for labels; 3 months in, he asked. I pointed out signs of depression and pushed him to get help, and he thanked me: "I don't think anyone has cared about me so much, except my mom".
He invited me to his hometown, introduced me to all of his friends, and has made plans for way down the road. When I was considering moving an hour away, he asked me not to. Months in, he confessed he had been a virgin before me, and had lied from embarrassment. I didn't think it was a big deal.
Yesterday, I was - with his permission - using his phone and searched my name. I came up with texts to his best friend from before we were exclusive. I can post the convo, but here's some quotes:
> "I don't know. I don't find Ally 1 attractive. And she's a little boring."
> "God damn I can't stop thinking about Ally 2. [...] last night, I imagined Ally 1 was Ally 2 during sex, so sketch. I should probably break up with her."
> "I have zero feelings for her. Hardcore leading her on. [...] I act like I like her too, but I don't."
> "I don't find her attractive at all lol. [...] Just in it for sex."
I immediately gave him the phone, left, and blocked him on text/fb, but he's been sending snapchat messages. ~~I haven't read them.~~ | Boyfriend apparently fell in love with me for my personality, but thinks I'm completely unattractive. Do I bother talking to him? |
t3_44enn0 | relationships | Am I ridiculous, or am I in a one-sided relationship? | Hello all.
Quick, simple question. I just want to know if I ask too much and my expectations are too high.
I [22F] have been dating Fin[22M] for one year, and I feel as though compromising with him is impossible. I end up just letting him have his way and he views the time spent debating as a "compromise."
Today, for example, I work Saturday mornings so usually I stay in at my place while he goes out on Fridays. However, I had a pretty stressful day and asked him if he'd catch a movie with me to make me feel better. He told me that he had wanted to go out so no. I had a back up plan, but the fact that he wouldn't even entertain the idea on my behalf is unsettling. We discussed it, I agreed I'd go with back up plan, and he thought this was a compromise.
Likewise, sex has become an issue. We both have high sex drives, but he likes to have sex before he goes to bed. However, due to work schedules he goes to bed way after me, therefore he wakes me up for sex. I try to explain its not that I don't want it, it's that I can't possibly be into it if I'm asleep. I try to have sex before I go to sleep, but usually this involved dragging him away from his friends, which us a Herculean task. I he refuses and just tries to quickly squeeze in sex until JUST before I get to sleep. Literally, a few minute venture.
Worst of all, I can't discuss this with him without him being angry. I'm not sure how to bring it up properly in order to have a constructive conversation instead of a destructive conflict. Am I being too unforgiving? Or should I discuss? If I can have some pointers on how to properly address this, that would be ideal. Thanks! | bf can't compromise. Am I being too ridiculous on the definition of compromise? If not how to approach situation. |
t3_4afu14 | askwomenadvice | Really want to make a better connection with a girl but dont know how. | So for about 2 and a half years I know a girl that I am kinda interested in for alot of reasons.
Anyway, her friend I know mutually and the relationship is very strong in terms of just knowing each other. We have talked and she (the friend) is very nice and a bit quiet. I have had some rough times and she was extremely nice to me and I told her she was and she understood.
I did act maybe a little needy towards people so I might have looked bad but im still on good terms with her. I want to get to know her more as a friend. She is always nice to me as mentioned and we once talked for like 35/40 minutes on things.
So I basically want to become more of a friend to her if possible which it seems like it is. I dont want to look creepy to the girl im kinda interested in or her friend. I was thinking offering my phone number to her as she would probably be fine with it but I just dont know as I dont want to turn her off or come on too strong or look weird which is why I am a bit hesitant.
What would askwomenadvice recommend? | Friend of a girl I like is very nice and want to build a better friend relationship but dont know how |
t3_3d9egu | relationships | Me [21 M] falling for a girl [22 F] I do not feel attracted to physically. | So I have been friends with this girl for about 7 months now,we met through a mutual friend, and hanging out recently I have felt a very strong connection emotionally.
The problem is that I don't feel attracted to her physically and I am worried that could be a problem if our relationship goes any further than just friends. I know she is interested in taking out relationship further and even our mutual friend has been curious about us.
We recently began hanging out alone more so its becoming harder to avoid this issue and I am unsure how to proceed.
Tell her I just want to be friends or take a chance on a relationship I may not be fully satisfied in? | Like her personality, but not her body,what do? |
t3_35u0fl | relationships | Me [28 M] with my ___ [26 F] 3 Months, Ruined an amazing relationship. Struggling with feelings of guilt. | A little over three months ago I met an amazing woman. She was wonderful, loving, caring, and never once made me feel awkward about who I was.
I then spent the next three months systematically dissecting her, forcing her into positions that no person would endure, and making her feel bad for her limitations.
I found whatever reason I could to push her away, and even as I pushed her away I found ways to be overbearing to the point of smothering her love for me. I've been in numerous relationships and this was the first time I ever believed someone when they said they loved me.
In the space of three months I took her from a place of writing me poetry and explaining how I was helping her redefine what love is to her being utterly disgusted with my behavior.
I feel utterly awful for the things I've done. Whats more is that I know that this was my doing. There were mitigating circumstances but at the end of the day I chose to act in the way I did. I bounce between feeling horrible about the way I acted. To wanting to make pleas for her to give me one more chance even though she has made it clear that its over. | Took a wonderful relationship, and absolute love of an amazing woman and mangled it into something horrific. What can I do to move forward? |
t3_et6be | relationships | His jealousy issues are destroying our relationship. What can I do? Is therapy in order? | Background details: I'm a 27/f, he's a 39/m. We have been dating for nine months. We practically live together (I am at his place EVERY night), but not officially.
The issue here is **his** jealousy. It's insanely bad. It prompts him to start fights and dish out accusations at the smallest of things. I am hardly even able to mention a male without this kind of behavior from him. (Latest example: I saw my old male roommate when we were at the mall the other day and avoided him because we had a falling out when we lived together due to his girlfriend. My SO started a HUGE fight over it & didn't talk to me for 12 hours... I am still not sure quite what was going through his mind. He assumed that I didn't want to talk to the ex-roommate because there was something that I didn't want him to hear, among other things.)
I'm willing to work through this with him if I know that it can be worked through, but I can't live with him doing this to me for any longer... The blame, accusations, assumptions, fights, guilt over things I did not do, things I can not change, & things that occurred before I even met him... It's making me feel like I'm going insane. But it's not just me - he did this to his last girlfriend too.
I know this is Red-Flag City, population of me. I have suggested, pushed, prodded and demanded that he go to therapy / see a psychologist to resolve his issues, even though doing so makes me feel like a horrible, bitchy, pushy girlfriend. It's not just for me & our relationship, though - it's for him to be happy with himself too. Am I right for doing so? Will therapy help him? Is there something else we can do to stop this insanity? Help me, Reddit... | My boyfriend has horrible jealousy issues. Will therapy help? If not, is there something else that will? |
t3_4aq5kq | relationships | Me [25 F] with my partner [25 M] cheated in last relationship and he still communicates with that !!!!!!. | Before me and my current boyfriend started dating we were -just friends- and he was in a different relationship. After a month or so of their break up we got together. Apparently their relationship started falling apart like 2 years ago because she cheated on him and to get back at her he had sex with one of his good friends. His ex with good reason told him to stop talking to her and he did. Until we got together. I've been telling him how much it bothers me and around december 30th she just.... randomly blocked him, and unblocked him about a month ago now. My BF did NOT tell me about this nor is he curious why she would block him in the first place. He's told me it was an honest mistake that he did not tell me they were in communication again and I just.... I don't know how to be direct enough with him. It's pushing me away and I know he's sick of hearing about it, but I have no reason to believe something weird isn't going on, but I truly want to hear why it shouldn't make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this? | BF cheated on his ex with Jill, BF stopped communicating with Jill until our relationship/Am I nuts or do I need a new approach? |
t3_3u50og | relationships | Me [30f] really miss spending holidays with my father and younger brother and sister. But my stepmother literally refuses to speak to me and I don't want to make it awkward. | I haven't seen my dad since the Thanksgiving before last, same with my 21 y/o sister and 24 y/o brother (both half siblings, diff moms). It was great seeing them, but it was very awkward because my stepmom literally said not one word to me.
Background. Since I was about 18, my stepmother and I really didn't get along. She started calling me fat when I was ten (I went through a chubby period as a kid) and she always talked down about my mother. It escalated over time, she told me she hated me, would scream. I rarely screamed back, mostly because she was my fathers wife, and she admitted this also made her mad. Anyhow she succeeded in making me feel pretty horrid about myself until I saw a counselor for a few years. My father never intervened during this time. Preferring to stay out of it.
Well when I was 27, she wrote an incredibly nasty e-mail, telling me I had done nothing with my life, and I should of been married long ago. I actually made a good living managing hotels, and was going to school part time. She made some comments amount my mom, and I lost it. I e-mailed her back saying that maybe I should do what she did at 27, and find a married man 25 years older than me with a wife and kid and have an affair.
I know this was an immature thing to say, but she really got under my skin. I even tried to apologize months later, to no avail.
My father invited me that next year to Thanksgiving, and all I said to her when I arrived was how are you, she said "I'm sorry but I'm not going to be speaking to you".
My father wants me to see them, but I don't want to make it awkward for my little brother and sister. But I miss them all, and am at a loss as what to do. | I want to visit my father and younger half siblings, but due to a large argument my stepmother literally says nothing to me, and I don't want to make my younger siblings and other family feel awkward again. How should I procede? |
t3_1eq4xs | dating_advice | [M26] Recently out of a long term relationship. Fancy a facebook friend [F26]. How the holy hell do I persue this? | M26 recently out of a 7 year relationship. Back to dating for the first time in a long while.
I have a friend on FB that I think I kind of like. She's pretty, funny, and seems like a pretty nice person (in so much as you can tell from facebook that is). But she's one of those FB friends that, while they may show up on your friends list, you really don't know them all that well. I mean, I do know her IRL, but that was back in high school. Weren't close friends back then, more acquaintances that talked a couple of times. Chatted a few times over FB but that's about it aside from the occasional status like.
My question is - how the holy hell do I go about asking her out? She (or at least according to her profile) is single, I'm single, she seems like someone I'd like to get to know. Is it too forward being only acquaintances to simply send her a PM as ask if she would like to catch up over a coffee or something? Should I start talking to her over Facebook for awhile and build to that?
Being in a long term relationship, and now having to be single again has really shot my dating skills to shit.
Help me Obi-Wan, you're my only hope! | Like casual acquaintance on facebook. How to simply ask her out without being too forward. |
t3_t4yko | jobs | I'm at a crossroad: Wouldn't mind other people's perspectives. | I'll try to say this as briefly as possible.
**Current situation**:
I'm a chemist in a contract job at a Fortune 500 consumer goods company. Obviously, I'm trying to turn that into an employee position. I've been in this position for almost 18 months, I've done great work, expanded the role beyond anything my managers imagined, and they've told me they are working to create an employee position for me. In the meantime, they've told me that my contract can go on indefinitely so I don't need to worry about it expiring or anything.
**The twist** (with two parts):
1)My boss told me that his gut feeling is that when they offer me an employee position, it won't be what I want as far as grade level and pay. It wasn't an official position (no one told him that, came up with it on his own) and it was off the record, so like I said, it was his gut feeling.
2)I was offered a better contract position within the same company yesterday. The pay is slightly better, it would give me some more, varied experience, and if it were the equivalent of an employee position the grade level would be more along the lines of what I want. It's a 12 month contract. The manager told me that he's had good experience turning contractors into employees, but said he cannot guarantee anything. It would ulitmately be up to the VP over his division.
Thoughts? Probably too long already, so I can answer questions. | One in the hand, two in the bush...but what if the two are AWESOME. |
t3_eiqs1 | AskReddit | In a loving relationship, but I think my SO has feelings for another. | I have been with my SO for about 2.5 years now. It has been the most wonderful time of my life. My SO also has a best friend. Both of us love to try new things, and one of her fantasies was me going down on her while another man fondled her. I was ok with this, as it was assured by both parties that it was just for fun, and I want to be open minded about my lover's deepest desires.
Her next desire is for someone to watch us make love, which I am all right with as well, except she naturally wants it to be her best friend.
Here is the problem. They are text flirting with each other constantly. My SO didn't try to hide it, but keeps saying that it is just fun. I've expressed that it's bothered me slightly, that I feel like i'm competing for attention, but she swears it''s just fun and refuses to stop.
She's left her texts open, and I've caught a few. She admitted she might have romantic feelings. She said she was confused. I know for a fact she would never cheat on me, but I'm just at a loss at what to do. | In a loving relationship, but I think my SO has feelings for another. |
t3_4mzylj | relationships | Me [22 M] met a girl [20 F] coincidently 3 months ago. What to say for the 1st time? | Approx. 3 months ago I went to an event. For restroom break, I put my staff and gone. When I was back, a cute girl was sitting on my chair. I did not want her to stand up and she sat.(Gentleboy :P) After a while, she lied to me that she would go in 2 minutes so I sat back. But she did not gone and I said "Were not you going?" She laughed.
After that day I saw her several times in just one day.
She did not look at me just after the day of event. So I abstain, I am a bit shy I do not deny that. But I realize that she was staring at me as well.
Today I added her on fb. She accepted. I want to recall this event issue and want to get know her. But I am not so much social person and I don't want to make it bad. I want to spend some time with this girl at least in summer. So I want to ask you what to say that makes her laugh but ashamed as well? :) | Met a girl coincidently 3 months ago. What to say first? |
t3_3ckq88 | loseit | Today, I quit | Life has been doing what it does lately and kicking the shit out of me. In November I was at 315. I'm down to 255 as of today. This last two weeks has been hard due to a plateau at 257 I could not bust through. Also compounding my problems is work being extremely draining, my wife and mother in law have started working out at home now but I am supposed to create her work outs as well. Life felt like it was trying to shove me back in that dark hole from which I am climbing out of. Then today it hit me. Just quit. Quit letting the weight of life hold me down. I quit feeling sorry for myself and decided to drive on. I got to the box (crossfit) at 5:00 am and hit it hard. Like a steam engine is what the coaches said. Got home apologize to the wife for freaking out on her, and gave the kid and the dog a hug. Looked at that scale and stepped up. BAM 255. Thanks to /r/loseit and /r/getmotivated | Feeling sorry for yourself will make you hold two pounds. |
t3_2g7dbv | relationships | Me [23/F] with my bf [23 M] 1 year, lashes out due to stress at job | Hello
I wondering if I am just being cold hearted (as my bf says) or if I am justified or a mix of both.
My boyfriend works a high stress laborious job. This is the job he choose and wants to be in this field. Though he is constantly complaining how awful it is.
He does not clean up his smelly clothes (he works in a lot of water so they get mildew) does dishes, laundry etc because he has such a demanding job. This stress of his job he likes to take out on me. Though he has weekends off which leaves plenty of time to take care of things...
I have a hard time having sympathy for him anymore. He worked very hard to get to this position and am proud of him, but it is hard to keep trying to encourage someone who is constantly blaming everything (mostly his mood and how he talks to me)on how stressed he is with his job.
I try and remind him about things in his life, but he takes this as nagging though I think of it as trying to help. Because if I don't remind him of stuff he does things late and causes more stress for him, but we get in fights about nagging vs helping...
This obviously puts strain on our relationship. In the beginning our relationship was great. I had never met anyone I felt so compatible with, but lately it isn't the same at all. It has been very hard for me to feel the love I used to for him.
I too have stress related to my job which I deal with accordingly and don't go on and on about it. I think the fact that both parties are stressed and don't seem to get each others side doesn't help us try to resolve our issues.
I feel like we will break up if something doesn't happen soon. We already haven't spent very much time together to try and have space, but every time we talk it turns into an argument.
Am I a bad person that every time he is upset about his job that he decided to go into that it is hard to sympathy? Or am I a bitch? | bf and I can't have a conversation without it turning into a fight. bf works stressful job and blames how he talks/ treats me on that. He choose this job and is going to continue in it. Hard for me to sympathize. Am I being cold and not supportive? |
t3_35s5re | relationships | My mother's [39/F] boyfriend [28/M] broke up with her 1 month before her baby is due and he doesn't want to leave the house | My mom was in a relationship with a young guy she met while she was running a bar. She has always been kinda "new age friendly", and this guy is a reiki master, does biomagnetism, the whole package, so she fell hard for him. They were pretty happy together, and 4 months into the relationship they decided to have a baby.
It was all pretty cool, he was always talking how now we were a family, that it was gonna be great to have a baby, yadda yadda yadda. Until last week, when, out of nowhere, he told her that he didn't loved her anymore and that he had a new girl. We were pretty shocked, and while my mom suspected the girl had a thing for him (they are co-workers, he's a teacher at a local highschool, and she saw them together a couple times while going to pick him up), she never thought he also had a thing for her.
After the initial shock, we were expecting him to move out, but he had a talk with my mother and says it's best for the baby that he sticks around, in case he's needed for a run to the hospital (she has been passing out at least twice a month), and now my mother is confused, letting him stay for a couple days.
So here we are, the "I can get you to the hospital" thing is bullshit since she has plenty of friends and family to spend this month with, starting with me, but when I point this out to her she starts avoiding the subject, since she still loves him and hopes she can make him come back to her. So I would love to hear some objective opinions on the subject, because I think it's awful for her and the baby to be under this kind of pressure with the a--hole in the house, but who knows, I'm biased by the amount of hate I feel right now. | Pregnant mom got dumped, exboyfriend doesn't want to leave the house and she thinks that's ok, need opinions to make her change her mind/stay like this |
t3_1ndi3v | AskReddit | Tech Support / Help Desk of reddit, how do I prove to a customer that their ethernet port is bad? | **Background:** I work help desk for a wireless ISP. I don't know how many calls I get a day, where people are telling me that their internet is down, but its really their ethernet port / NIC that is bad. My normal course of action is to have them plug our line into another device, and see if they can get access through that. Another method, is to tracert from the computer (works especially good if a router is bad). The biggest problem I have is proving its the ethernet port, when they don't have a router, or another device to try. What do I do then? | Tech Support of Reddit, how do you prove an ethernet port/NIC is bad over the phone? |
t3_36jx0c | self | Update on my crazy aunt, the tenant from hell. | So a bit ago, I made a post about how she's trying to make our lives hell by being a terrible tenant.
She keeps claiming that the house we practically gave her is unsafe. We've spent over $20k on inspections and "fixing" up the place. It was safe before so really all we've done is give her peace of mind.
She will be moving out and bringing her family to my grandma's, her mother's, house. However, she isn't going quietly; she's trying to burn the bridge behind her.
My aunt made a complaint to the EPA after all. We haven't heard a response yet but I assume they'll tell her to fuck off.
She's also demanding $10k in emotional damages from the one of the companies my dad hired to inspect the place. They are very reputable, have done thousands of these inspections, and have only had 1 complaint to the BBB over the last 5 years. Anyway, she accuses them of lying about safety of the house and claims they got paint chips into the air or something (it's not lead based paint).
I'm really hoping she doesn't get a single penny from them. She treated them like shit went they came to inspect the house and constantly yelled at the workers that they were doing it wrong.
I never really liked the woman but now I think she's mentally ill. She's paranoid and has an obsession. Even if the whole world tells her it's safe, she'll scream that they're lying. She's done irreparable damage to our families relationship and to our future finances, specifically, my sister's college fund.
The ironic part is that the house she'll be moving into, my grandma's house, might actually have the things that she complained about ours having. | Aunt wants money for phoney emotional damages. Trying to harass the inspection company. |
t3_38vxfo | tifu | TIFU by using tape. Slightly (NSFW) | I work 3rd shift at a gas station. In order to be "more energy efficient" (to save money cause they're cheap) our corporate office controls the thermostat. As a result it gets incredibly hot during all the sweeping/mopping I have to do so my boss said I can wear shorts as long as their nice and fit the dress code (khaki).
So about 45 minutes ago(around 2-2:30 est) I was going through my nightly chores and I squatted down to get fountain pop straws from under the cupboard when I hear a tear. I look down and my shorts have this huge rip from the crotch to about halfway down the inside of the thigh.
I have no idea what the fuck to do at this point so I try stapling the tear. doesn't work. So I start looking around trying to find something to cover the hole when I spot some duct tape. I go to the bathroom and drop my shorts and tape both the inside and outside of the tear to try and get it to hold.
I pull my shorts back up and I immediately feel the tape catch. now my legs are pretty hairy so I know it's gonna hurt. However my shorts are all the way up so i figure I can wait till my shifts over and deal with it in the car. I go back to work. So I'm sweeping and shit and I bend over to roll up a floor mat and BAM! The tape I used for the inside of my shorts was longer than i thought and came off. It snaked its way inside the convince hole of my boxers and attached itself to my pubes. I had no choice... I stood up straight and shouted obscenities as the tape ripped out my Johnson's curlies. | ripped my shorts. Fixed it with duct tape. Got an unexpected Duct Tape waxing. Am now in pain. |
t3_1hxwce | dating_advice | I'm (20 M) looking to ask out a friend (19 F) but don't want to look like an idiot | One of my friends started dating a girl recently and they really seem to be hitting it off. Since his girl has been hanging around recently so has her friends. From that I have been getting to know one of her friends better and shes really a nice girl.
I would definitely say that me and her have gotten to a point where I would call her a friend. I got her number though we haven't ever "just talked" over text/phone. If I text/call her it's normally for a very specific reason.
Recently I knew that I was going to be near where she lives for work so I shot her a text and asked if she would like to go to lunch. Lunch went really well, we talked the whole time, we didn't have any real awkward moments, and it seemed that we each had a fun time. This lunch though came off as lunch between two friends, which is really what I wanted because I didn't want to come off like I was rushing things and asking her out to soon.
Now I'm not sure what to do next. I would like to ask her out on a date but I just don't know how to do it. School is out now so I'm not really seeing her as regularly as we used to. I really don't want to ask her out over phone because that's really lame. So I was thinking of asking her to lunch to ask her out on a date, if that makes any sense.
Also since me and her are friends I don't want to mess that up. So if she doesn't like me then I'm just going to have to say that i'd like it if we could stay friends.
Sorry for going on to long there, I'm just looking for any kind of advice anyone could give. Either on how to ask her out or how to ensure that if she doesn't feel the same way that we could stay friends. | Like this girl, don't know how to ask her out, and want to make sure we stay friends. |
t3_2nser3 | relationships | Me [35F] with my not-quite-a-bf [30M] of a few months, turned into ldr just as it was getting interesting, should i feel bad about looking elsewhere? | i met a guy. we hooked up, had fun for a month. at the outset he said this is non-exclusive and not to get attached. so i didn't (which is strange for me because i usually do get attached - and i'm actually confused by my lack of attachment feeling). i like him but don't feel like there has been enough time to figure out anything.
then i left for work and he moved away (short term, he expects to come back within a few months). we have been texting now and then. i do like him, and have been enjoying our sexy fun times. far more than i have enjoyed such things in the past....
with the non-exclusivity/attachment clause in the beginning and the now ldr i responded to a request from a guy an online dating site and we have been emailing back and forth. he seems interesting and we appear to have things in common.
i asked the first guy if he would be upset if i went on a date with someone else. he said he would be jealous but that i should go on the date. then he offered to fly me up to see him. twice.
so now im confused. does that mean i really should go on a date with the new guy or not? i haven't had many relationships and having two potential guys is definitely not a situation ive ever had to deal with. i would feel bad dating two people at the same time (and i would be completely honest with everyone because no one likes a cheater!). i think there is potential with the first guy and i've been having fun and have no problem waiting around. but the new guy seems interesting and i just cant tell what the first guy wants. and i would have a problem waiting around for no reason, so i don't know what to do. | we met, had fun for a month, he moved away (possibly short term move), i like him but there isn't a deep connection. i think he wants to keep things going but i can't tell. i have been emailing someone else and might want to go on a date with him. i would feel bad dating two people at once, so now i don't know what to do. |
t3_1b82qn | running | Achievement Unlocked! ... Sorta. | Almost done with my speed run tonight, coming around my last .3 mile bend, when I hear a car approach from behind.
As always, on sections of my neighborhood that have no sidewalks, I'm always facing oncoming traffic, as far over as possible. Standard.
Running along with the car approaching, all I hear is a WHOOSH and feel a COLD dunk of soda all over myself, my phone/case, everything. I didn't even know what to yell back or react quickly enough to say, but I realized I was .2 miles from my car.
Dead sprint mode activated.
My heart hurt as I neared my car and hopped in. Driving a stick while your legs are rushing isn't easy, but I saw the car turn another .5 miles ahead into a trailer park. Lost him - there's a million Honda Civics in there.
Oh, the joys of living near a trailer park. This wouldn't be the first time I've had something thrown at me, but it is the first time I got a cold, sticky refresher when I was almost home. I'm still a bit pissed, but just trying to let it go.
Anyone else have similar stories? | someone threw a cold ass soda on me tonight. |
t3_jg457 | loseit | Losing it...first time submission | 21y/o Female -- I started this journey to lose weight at an all time high of 227.
After 4 months, I'm now down to 198.
NSV: Fitting into a size 14 pair of jeans. I can't remember the last time I wore those.....freshman year of high school?
What I used to look like:
What I look like now:
However, I must say...I don't feel like I've changed much at all. I want to feel different -- sexy.
What I did was change how and what I was eating: Cut out my 3 cups of coffee per day, cut out my 3 sodas per day, stopped eating junk foods for snacks, stopped eating desserts whenever I felt like it. I started eating more chicken, veggies, and fruits. Simple as that!
But now I feel that I've plateaued, and I'm wanting to add exercise into my lifestyle changes. Any advice? I've noticed that C25K seems interesting, and I've always wanted to be able to run. Is it hard? Do you feel discouraged the first couple weeks? Or does it go smoothly? | Lost 29 pounds by eating differently, want to add exercise. Advice? |
t3_1cph6c | offmychest | I'm a closet atheist | I'm atheist and I have been for about 5 years now. I was raised Jewish because my dad is but my mom is protestant. My mom is very religious because when she was young her mom died and she a lot of trouble coping with the loss, so she turned to religion. It is very important to my mom that I stay religious but I cannot because I'm atheist.
I'm weird in that I'm not atheist because something bad happened to me, I just interpret god as something that is told in stories to provide moral truths, but not actual physical truths. Kinda like Santa Clause. I have no problems with religions as a whole because I know how the stories and practices that they teach are meant to be good and provide internal growth, but it is just when the stories are misinterpreted as truths that they become skewed.
I feel like I cannot keep lying to my mom about religion but I know how much it means to her. | Closet atheist who wants to tell his mom but cannot |
t3_3whivr | relationship_advice | [18M] Wondering if I fucked up or is miss reading [18F] | Hey Reddit,
So there is this girl (as always) and we've been friends for a while now. I'm always at ease with her, and she is always at ease with me. At least, it seems that way. Anyway, as inhibitions go when you're intoxicated - yay first-year university - you say things that you usually wouldn't say. So she called me very cutesy names and sent me hearts and whatnot. This has never happened before but we always hang out and it's reciprocated in the sense that she asks me to hang out as much as I ask her to.
My relationship history is complicated, but she knows all about it and whenever we flirt she ends up playfully punching me. But what does that mean? I don't know if she feels hurt 'cause I always poke fun or should I stop poking fun and be nicer in this regard. We'll be seeing each other every day this week studying for an exam this Friday, then she's off on a trip for a while until January. I think she might be into me and I think I might be into her. Should I make a move? If so, should I wait until after the exam or until she comes back from her trip, or should I tell her right now. Or should I wait until something else entirely? Please help. | Girl that I'm not sure about her feelings and she and I are not sure about mine. Hanging out a lot, should I tell her or wait until I know more definitely our feelings? |
t3_1yjdkw | relationships | How do I [19/F] be a less judgmental person? | I'm a 19 year old undergrad student, doing alright for myself. I have a nice, tight-knit group of friends and despite a few rough patches, things have been OK with us.
However, I notice that I take some of the things they do really personally/seriously, even though it has nothing to do with me. I can be a funny and goofy person, I'm not *super* straight-laced or anything and I do indulge in drinking/drugs once in a while.
But it just *really* annoys me when my friends complain about bad grades or unfair classes when I can clearly see that they're not putting in the effort. One of my friends is in engineering (I'm a molecular bio/chemistry major who transferred from engineering so I know how demanding the two majors are) and she constantly complains that the professors don't do this or they don't do that but really? You haven't been to a single office hour. I can't help but become a little rude and snippy when she mentions these problems.
Or when she mentions, after having a psychotic episode, that she doesn't want to take her anti-depressant medication because it might make her fat. Really...? *Really*...?
It even annoys me that the clothes she wears and the way she keeps herself is really unkempt and messy. Her room looks like a disaster.
I know, deep down, that no one is perfect and that I likely have a personal issue though. And it's not just this one friend in particular, I judge almost everyone as harshly. And I know it's not a good way to be if I want to maintain my friendships.
How do I stop being like this? | I'm judgmental and slightly elitist, how do I stop and be a better person? |
t3_2sdkg5 | relationships | My (40M) girlfriend (35F) of nearly 18 months is going to a party without me on Valentine's evening | Our Valentine's Day was going to be a quiet one anyway. My daughter (6) is due to be staying with us for the weekend, so we can't really go out, but I was planning on cooking a nice meal for is both and spending a quiet evening together after my daughter and my girlfriend's teenage children were all in bed.
Her friend's birthday is on Feb 14, and this friend always complains that it gets overshadowed by Valentine's Day. So this year she said she was planning a party the week before. But when the invitation arrived, it was for Feb 14th! I can't go, because I need to babysit my daughter, and this friend knew that in advance. My girlfriend spent the next hour or so slagging off her friend, and I assumed was going to turn down the invite - but then she said no, she had to go even if just for an hour because it wasn't worth the grief she'd get from the friend if she didn't go. In fact, she thinks the friend deliberately made the party this day as a test to see who were "real" friends are by whether they come to her party.
I know this is a minor thing. I know the birthday party is a one-off, but we could have a quiet night in any other time. But this has really annoyed me, and I can't explain why!
My girlfriend said she would eat dinner with me first then go out just for a short while. I told her there's no point - by the time my daughter goes to bed it would be 8.30. There's nothing romantic about rushing through a dinner together so she can go out without me afterwards. But when I said this she accused me of making life difficult for her.
I think what I need is advice on how I can calm down. I'm not normally an angry person at all, and I just can't explain why this has upset me so much. | Girlfriend is going to a party without me on Valentine's night, how can I stop being angry? Thanks! |
t3_41v4aa | relationships | My (20M) partner's (22F) parents want to buy us a house. It's directly joined on to their house. I don't want to live next door to my In-laws. Am I being ungrateful? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. I moved in with her and her family 18 months ago when our daughter was born.
The house next door has just gone up for sale and my girlfriend's parents have said they're going to 'move us in' next door until we can both afford to pay the mortgage ourselves.
This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable for two reasons. I will feel like I owe them and will be owned by them for the rest of my life even after I've payed them back as much as I can. I also don't want them to be as involved in my life as I know they will if I live next door to them.
I can't articulate this without sounding extremely ungrateful. I'm just a student while my partner has a good job so nothing I say can carry any weight because I'm not a proper provider and can't offer an alternative living situation. | Feeling extremely anxious and nervous because in-laws have made us a generous offer that I can't refuse without sounding awful. Can reddit offer any advice? |
t3_3uqrr0 | relationships | Me [28 M] with my GF [26F] of 1 year, can't be intimate with me sometimes because she has body-image issues. | I've been with my beautiful girlfriend for 1 year. She is honestly so sweet, beautiful, guys always try to go out of there way and talk to her, and get her number. Tan skin, blue eyes and a great great physique.
Anyways recently I found out that she has been suffering from an eating disorder, and that she has major issues regarding how she sees herself. She hates herself she thinks she's gross and disgusting sometimes, and she feels that nobody can truly love her.
I feel like this kind of thinking is getting in the way of our relationship, both physically and emotionally. She has to feel an emotional connection to be intimate, but during her low times she doesn't believe anybody can love her so she can't be intimate. She feels like going to see a therapist can make her fat, and seem weak because she hates help from people, and she says "how can somebody talking to you make you feel different, its a waste of time."
I know I can't fix her, and I am not qualified or trained to do it. But I don't know what to do. Its hard to be in a relationship with somebody if its only emotional and not physical because lately I feel like we are just friends. I miss being close to my love.
I just need help on how to proceed from here. | GF has body image issues and its getting in the way of the relationship. How to proceed. |
t3_4fht1h | jobs | Phone interview nerves | I had a phone interview late last week for a job that seems ideal. The description is very similar to my experience, the location is close to my house and the people Ive spoken with so far (a recruiter and 2 managers) seem great.
I'm kicking myself though because my nerves got the better of me on the phone interview. It wasn't a total disaster but there are things I could have/should have answered differently and I felt very tight thru the call. They said I should hear something in a week or two at the end of the call.
Is there anything can do to correct/compensate for the nerves and show that was not my typical self? I feel like I'll be ok and not have that issue if I get to an i person interview but not sure I'll get that chance. Thanks! | got nervous on a phone interview, any way to get another chance at a first impression? |
t3_17hrzd | relationships | Will I be the bad guy dumping my gf? | I (22m) have been in a relationship for two years (21f), about 6 months of casual, the rest serious official bf gf kind of thing.
Since leaving uni the relationship has become long distance and at first I was fine with it but now I feel seeing each other every other weekend is kind of holding me back from living a life with my good friends who I have been re united with.
Is it wrong to want to want to be single again or is this just a thing that a lot of people experience? Is it out of order on my gf? | am I a dick for wanting to be single? |
t3_1ja877 | relationships | Me[25M] interested in my coworker [20F], but planning to leave country! | So basically, I started a second job in order to scrape up some cash to flee the country in search of wonder and fancy. Met a girl at my 2nd job, who I liked from day one- but she wasn't single. She's been single for about a month now and I fly in 2 1/2 weeks for an indefinite period. We've been talking lots recently and went to a (formal)work function together- in the lead up everybody thought we were already dating, and our attendance together didn't help the rumours. We joked about being the power couple of the department and spent the night talking. I now think she might be interested and I know I am, but she knows I have plans to leave and potentially stay abroad. What the heck do I do? | boy likes girl, boy has one-way plane ticket. |
t3_1mdevt | relationship_advice | [20/f] My boyfriend (23/m) says he wants me to do more things to surprise him. To be spontaneous. Help? | First off, I don't see him a lot anymore because of school. We go to different universities in the area and he's only taking one class to prep for medschool while I'm still doing undergrad. We've been together for 2 years now.
So there's this problem we have where he says I don't do anything for him, nothing special, nothing like he does where he tries to surprise me or how he describes it as "waking up every morning thinking of ways to make you happy." But I do wake up all the time thinking about him. I just have zero ideas about how to express it.
Last night he talked to me on the phone about it again and he was just talking about how he was sick of me not doing anything and how he is the one holding up this relationship. I never feel like I'm not doing anything because I always try my best to make sure things are going well for him and because I'm so busy I just don't have any desire to be fighting against him on it.
So guys of reddit, in this situation, is there any sort of thing you want your girl to do? Do you ever feel like your girlfriend is being lazy? Please keep in mind I can't see him too often, can't go to his house (family problems) and I can't spend atrocious amounts of money. | bf says i suck cant see bf what do |
t3_1t878g | relationships | I [M/22] recently discovered that my girlfriend [21] of 4 years has become a stripper. | We have been dating for about 4 years now and a few weeks ago I found out through her texts that she has become a stripper. It may be prude but I always felt that that type of intimacy was only expressed to your S/O. It really makes me uncomfortable thinking about her getting completely naked and flirting with other strangers even if it is "fake" to her and just to make money
I have tried talking to her and asking her to quit for me but she just moved into an apartment by herself and she tells me she needs to make the money to pay rent. I currently can not move in with her because I attend a university and can not afford to split the rent and the rest of my bills. (insurance, phone, etc.
What bothers me the most is that she did not tell me about her new job and also that she lied every single night. Every night before work I would see her and always ask her, "Baby, you're not stripping right?" and she would always reply "No hunny, I'm just a waitress". It started with her being a waitress, which I was aware of and already pleaded her not to work there, then she had a talk with her manager about her making more money if she became a stripper.
I don't know what to do now and could really use some advice. I have tried talking to her and she said she would find a new job, but it has been 2 weeks and I haven't heard her talk about a new job. Instead she has brought up thinking about how much money she's going to make in the summer. I'm really devastated by this, she has really changed from the person I knew 4 years ago, all she thinks about now is money. I constantly express to her how I feel but it's like talking to a wall. Am I wrong for feeling bothered about this or should I end the relationship if this won't end? | I'm uncomfortable with my gf being a stripper, what should I do? |
t3_1mms93 | dating_advice | I have no reason to be self-conscious, but still am anyways. | My username basically describes it best, don't want to give off an egotistical vibe just trying to stay accurate. I'm 18 and have many blessings in my life such as a nice appearance, dress well, high grades, and musical skill however for the life of me I CANNOT HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH GIRLS. I'm so introverted that I analyse everything I say constantly and am super uptight/boring (nice, but boring). I'll pretty much never spark up a conversation with someone I find attractive unless I'm drunk. It would mean the world to me if some of you wonderful people could give me some tips/advice on overcoming this as even though I am an introvert, I still long for a meaningful relationship and romance with another. Thanks in advance! | I'm attractive/smart but suck at conversations. |
t3_4xrd3f | tifu | TIFU by putting an ice cream cake in the fridge | So for my 18th birthday, we went to Kroger and got a Carvel ice cream cake for $28. Our family sang happy birthday, ate a few pieces of the cake, and then I went down to the basement and put the cake away in the "cold section." Well idiot me, not thinking if it should go in the refrigerator or freezer, just opened one of the doors and slid it in. Today, when I wanted to bust out the cake again, I discovered it was completely melted. The ice cream, cake, and frosting all combined into a disgusting, thick liquid that certainly didn't look edible. So that basically ruined the night for us and the week+ it would take to eat it. What a great memory to reminisce about my 18th birthday. | Accidentally put an ice cream cake in the fridge and was extremely disappointment the whole thing melted. |
t3_23sr0g | relationships | Me [29] and my GF [27] of 5 months can't decide whether to break up or not. | First off, sorry for the ambiguity in the title. I feel a bit silly even posting this but I haven't been able to figure it out on my own.
I've known her since college. We dated for about a year back then and had an amicable breakup which actually allowed us to stay very close friends for another decade (holy...). I always loved her as a friend and throughout the years we were still somewhat romantically involved when we were both single. Without too much detail, I know that I love this woman more than anyone else in my life and trust her with everything.
The problem is that she's moving to California for various reasons, and she had been planning to before we started dating again. It's what she thinks will make her happier and I would never think of pursuading her otherwise. She moves in about 4 months, but has been throwing out the idea of us breaking off our romantic relations now in order to make it easier on us once she moves.
I, however, feel like we should be enjoying the time that we have left together and "cross that bridge when we come to it" as I always tell her. She still loves me and wants to be with me (from what she says) but can't stop thinking about what it will be like not having me while in California, and that she should get used to not having me while she is still here in NYC.
Notes
* Neither of us wants to do long distance
* I have a job here that I do not want to leave
I would appreciate literally any insight you all have, can't really think of a specific question but if I had to...who's right?
I'll be happy to fill in any details you are curious about. | GF is moving, I want us to enjoy the time we have together, she wants to breakup ahead of time to make it easier |
t3_1fz2i8 | relationships | I think my bf [22M] is not attracted to me [21F] anymore. What should i do? | My bf and I have been dating for 3.5 years. When we first met I was 127-130 pounds and after getting to college and living on my own I am 152 pounds and I'm 5'6 (Serious weight gain, i know) My bf is in really good shape and works out often. I work out around 3-4 times a week but don't eat healthy. I am trying to lose weight but I'm not sure I will be able to get back to my old weight. This is what brings me to my problem.
He tends to say mean things about how I look, what I eat, what I weigh. I know he hasn't been happy about how I look for a while, but I thought he was still attracted to me and he just wishes I looked better. Lately I started paying attention to our sex life and more details and I realized that 9 out of 10 I initiated sex and that if I don't, we wouldn't have sex. He also never tells me I look good, or gives me compliment. Lately, the only compliments I get are 'I like your hair' or something of that sort. He also doesn't look at me when I'm changing EVER or look at me with desire. I sent him sexy pictures and he responds saying 'your hair looks amazing'. I know he loves me and he is good to me, but being with someone that is not attracted to me affects my self steem a lot and if I don't lose the weight, he will never be attracted to me. I don't know what to do at this point because I'm worried that if I gain weight later in the relationsip, the same thing will happen again. I feel really bad because I am very attracted to him and love him dearly. I just wish he would feel the same way about me. | ! I gained weight and my boyfriend doesn't seem to be attracted to me anymore. doesn't show any sign of attraction to me and I'm worried that this is a sign for the future in the relationship |
t3_2mbj9d | tifu | TIFU By stroking my cat in the dark. | Background info - My cat is a quite dark coloured, lazy British Shorthair Blue, that whilst being affectionate likes to lay down on the floor.
About 30 minutes ago I walked out of my room into the upstairs hallway and down the stairs that run alongside it. The bottom of the stairs was faintly lit from the front room, so I didn't bother switching the light on. My cat meanwhile is lurking around in the hallway somewhere.
I'm about a 1/4 of the way down the stairs, head height with the floor of the upstairs hallway. I hear him flump down like he usually does just on the other side of the bannister, and I put my hand between the bannister rails to quickly stroke him before carrying on. Little did I know he had flumped down facing the other way - arse end towards me. I heard a high pitch mew, and he scrambled away fast as he could.
Turns out I accidentally fingered my cat in the butt hole. We haven't spoken since. | Tried to stroke my cat in the dark, cat is laying down facing away, inadvertently fingered my cat. We haven't spoken since. |
t3_3uqxxz | tifu | TIFU by trying to make my own iced tea | Pretty minor fuck up, more of a highlight that im a dumbass.
So, I love iced tea, but lately I've been feeling guilty that it's full of sugar and not really healthy. So I decided to try (for the third time) to start making my own iced tea.
I'm a college student and theres a big hypermarket next to us (Kaufland, for the eufriends), so I went there to look for a glass jug to keep my freshly made tea. However there aren't any normal glass jugs, only water filtering ones (expensive) and those thermo jugs. I'm like sure, these thermo jugs look ok, and how good can they actually be, they probably keep it warm for like 2-3 hours anyway.
So I buy it, go home, brew the tea, put just a bit of sugar in it, and put it in the fridge to cool.
Over the next day and a half I drink the remainder of my Nestea and get ready to start drinking my own tea. So I take it from the fridge and pour it in a glass, take a drink and its warm. And not lukewarm, its pretty damn warm.
I left it in there, it's been three days and now its lukewarm, but not cold. I estimate in about 2 more days its gonna actually be cold.
So now I'm stuck with no iced tea, useless thermo jug (I don't like hot drinks), 15 bucks less and lacking a sustainable source of iced tea. | thermo jugs are pretty good at what they're supposed to do. |
t3_boyx0 | AskReddit | I got drunk and missed a flight. I need to stay conscious for 9 hours with just the internet and a crying baby. And I'm drunk. | I missed my flight, and yes, I know "that's what you get if you get super drunk before before a flight," but this is the situation, reddit, I'm stuck in it and I'm dragging you with me. I would just play Dragon Ages but I'm stuck in that forest and every time I go to the grave to fight that dude he kills my whole party in seconds. I probably should have paid more attention to my party, but all they ever do is complain. It's hard to want to pay attention to them.
I could watch stuff, but then I'd just zone out and beat myself up over being in this situation. I was supposed to get laid tonight. All night. I haven't had sex in... godammit. And we were going to have my dad's house all to myself, we got each other's dimensions down and know how to accomplish every position we want to. My dad lives close to the beach, I was going to fuck until sunrise and then go to the beach to wash her off of me. Motherfucker.
And she's lactating too, man. A lot of my friends were super jealous, personally I find it just kind of weird. The first sip is sweet, but after that, it just feels wrong. I wonder what it's like for her. To spend all day breastfeeding something then have a professional come in ... can she separate the two, or is it all just nipple sucking? Do women get off on breastfeeding? Or have they been faking it this whole time?
See, I need to occupy myself. Something, anything to get my mind off reality. For nine fucking hours. I wonder what my total at subway will be by the time I leave here. It's just me and you, motherfucker, and I spy with my little eye today's cookies that will quickly be yesterdays and someone is going to eat those. | Keeping your drunk self busy for 9 hours with just the internet. Go. |
t3_3qq9rf | tifu | TIFU by trying to compliment someone's shirt. | I was walking to class today and had my headphones in, I see a girl walking in the opposite direction towards me and I notice her shirt has a pretty cool design.
As we make eye contact I decide to compliment her shirt by pointing at my shirt and giving her a thumbs up. She responds with a horrified look on her face. I think "how rude" and continue on my way to class. It isn't until about five minutes into class that I realized from her perspective it must have looked like I was pointing at my chest and giving her a thumbs up. She must've thought I was trying to say nice boobs. | Tried to compliment a girl on her shirt by pointing at mine and giving her a thumbs up. Complimented her boobs instead. |
t3_2p1tod | relationships | I[28m] never hear from the girl [29f] ive been dating outside of our great times together. Can anyone relate? | We're not officially anything but we are exclusive, she's definitely an independent, career driven type. We've been dating only a couple months, and contact was a lot heavier at first, texting good morning/night n stuff in between, funny pics or whatever. We see each other about once or twice a week and always seem to have a great time together, great intimacy, great conversation.
But I dont hear anything from her in between, maybe one text, unless I initiate it. I'll text sometimes or call, but it seems like the week could easily go by without any word from her. I'm more of a text daily type (nothing excessive, but at least 1 text), but feel odd having it be one sided, so I've pulled back a bit with it. Part of me thinks regardless of what type of person you are, if you're actually interested in someone you will not be able to help yourself but to reach out to them. I could easily send a random goofy text and get no response.
I've even brought it up more recently asking if its a sign her interest is waning and she said it's just her settling into her normal communication style and doesnt want to date anyone else. When we're together she is all about me, my friends, making me feel great. When we part I always feel great about it, but after a few days go by without hearing from her, without fail, it again feels odd that she's not reaching out to me ever. This concern is then taken away when I see her again and once again we have a great time. | girl and I have great times together but I nearly never hear from her otherwise, can any other girls relate? Or guys? Is this more common than i realize? |
t3_qecne | relationships | Meeting up with ex that I've spent a 5th of my life with in Vegas...and her friends don't want me in the same room as her | Back story - from 20-25 we were in a relationship. She admitted I was the one. I broke it off to go around the world. We've been broken up since end of 2010, so a year and a bit has gone by. We keep in regular contact and are still very good friends, occasionally cybersexing on Skype.
Now: She is going with her two girl flatmates to Mexico and Vegas (EDC). Both lovely girls, and the three that have all lived together for over half a year.
Ex asked if I wanted tickets to EDC back in Jan. I jumped at the chance because I would love to see and party with her again.
I conceded that I won't be able to see her in Mexico - its a girls trip. The other girls don't want me there and thats perfectly fine. I'm now staying with a friend in the city.
So now in Vegas - I've seen packages that include rooms that sleep 4 with shuttles included for a good price. So there are 4 of us, so I suggested 'lets get one of these deals'
My ex's response was 'I'll ask the girls'
The girls say 'He can stay in the same hotel, but different room'
The girl's reasoning is they think that emotions between me and my ex will ruin their trip. I called my ex this morning and both came to the conclusion that we don't know whether it could be amazing, or terrible - whether one of us will get upset if the other wants to hook up with someone else, essentially
But the crux of my argument - her friends want 'single ex'. I believe that with them living with her for the past 6 months+, they can give me 4 nights, especially since I'm making that concession that is me bowing out of seeing my ex in Mexico.
Does reddit think I'm expecting too much? I see maturity being a massive factor in dictating how this experience will go.
I believe we will be able to do what adults do and not let emotions get in the way of an awesome experience! | seeing one of the most important people thats ever existed in my life after 14 months. her travelling companions/flatmates won't let us spend 4 nights together* |
t3_32o38t | askwomenadvice | in a relationship where it has been agreed that strip clubs aren't ok, now my SO is a best man, what do I do? | basically, I think going to a strip club in a monogamous relationship is cheating. This is for my relationships, I'm not prescribing anything to yours.
I told him within the first month or so of dating that I thought this, and I've repeated it. He has agreed to it. We're two years in now.
Now, he's the best man for a wedding. He hasn't even discussed this with me yet, but there will be a bachelor party. I know not all involve strippers, but this one will.
I'm looking to prepare myself for this upcoming conversation. This man is his childhood best friend. Can I really say no to him partaking in his bachelor party? That seems unfair. But at the same, I know it'll kill me to know some naked woman is grinding on my guy.
I've thought long and hard about whether or not I think going to the strip club is cheating, and I have concluded that I definitely do, so please don't try to argue that point. All I'm asking for is some advice on whether I'm being fair or not, but mostly how tTo handle this conversation. | is it fair for me to deny my SO the chance to take part in his best friends bachelor party when my SO is the best man? How do I do so? (Me f32, he m29) |
t3_mcf8f | AskReddit | What are some romantic getaway ideas? | Our anniversary is coming up and i want to do something nice but not break the bank at the same time. i have been looking around some sites and have a few ideas for cute little hotels in nice areas of New England. Shes the type of girl that will be happy if we can just be alone and cuddle but go out to dinner and breakfast and stuff like that. but i remember this almost happened last year and she said she wants it to not be in the city or too "farmy" or in a big tourist area. Anyone have any ideas or things you have done in the past that was a big hit? | Where are some places in New England that are nice for a romantic getaway but are affordable? |
t3_psb1o | AskReddit | Reddit, What is your near-death experience? | I was 5 at the time (I'm 25 now.) My dad owed some money to one of his students for some reason. To this day, I still don't know for what. Anyway, I was riding my tricycle out on the sidewalk while my dad was a couple of feet behind me. Out of nowhere, a random car comes from behind my dad and tries to hit him. The dude completely missed and my dad and instead hits my tricycle. I was flung from my tricycle several meters from vehicle and I landed inside of a trashcan. My dad watched in horror while my tricycle is under a tire skidding across the sidewalk. At this point my dad is screaming and sprinting toward the vehicle and is deseperately trying to find out where I am. The driver of the vehicle (the guy my dad owed money to) got out of the car and yells at my dad "WHERE IS MY MONEY ASSHOLE?" Then, my dad sprints towards him and tackles him to the ground and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him for several minutes. The dude is unconcious at the time and my dad is crying and beating his face in senselessy, my uncle who happened to live down the street ran towards my dad and got my dad off of him. My uncle is confused as fuck trying to figure out whats going on... and all my dad could mutter from his crying and overwhelimg greif was "my..son..he killed my son..." I got up from the trash can laughing saying "hahaha! that was fun! dad why are you crying?" my dad rushed to me grabbed me and didn't let go of me the rest of the day. | My dad owed dude some money, the dude hit me while riding my tricycle(i was 5). Landed in a trashcan. Dad thought I was dead but, i was unscaved and I emerged laughing from the trashcan. |
t3_32qsyg | tifu | TIFU - I got arrested at Coachella. | TIFU -
Before you think I'm a drug addict or some kind of terrible person, let me tell you I am currently accepted into Dental school and am graduating with my Bachelor's in Neuroscience in a month.
It was the last night of the festival, everyone is tired, hungover, and barely getting through the day. This is when someone from our camp decided to give all of us ecstacy to have "the time of our lives". Well as I'm standing there, shaking and full of anxiety an undercover cop grabs my arm and asks me why I'm shaking and what I'm holding in my hand. I saw my entire future flash before my eyes and couldn't believe what was happening. I've tried MDMA twice before when I was younger, and have smoked a joint or two but am in no way a criminal. He handcuffed me and told me if I was compliant I would be charged with a misdemeanor instead of a felony and he took me back to the coachella police station, finger printed me, gave me a citation for a misdemeanor possession and let me go back into the festival.
After the event was over, I hired a well known attorney this week to help represent me, so I am hoping the charges get dropped or dismissed. I have wanted to become a doctor since I was 5 so I'm hoping this will only be a small speed bump in the grand scheme of life. I've honestly have been close to the edge due to lots of anxiety and I feel like I'm ruining my life over a "what-if".
Honestly, I am just looking for input on what I should be doing. How likely are the charges to be reduced to something non drug related or dismissed all together? It was 2.5 pills that were supposed to be for 3 people and I think the fact that I didn't go to jail really puts the situation on my side. Phoning for a friend. | I got arrested at coachella and I'm hoping I didn't ruin my dreams over this. |
t3_gwr48 | relationships | Girlfriend wants oral but NEVER returns favor | Ok, so here is the deal. Me (17) and my girlfriend (16) have been going out for two months now. We have not had sex yet, nor is it likely that we will soon because she is slightly religious. That's not the problem. She does not like to give oral, or even hand jobs for that matter, yet she loves it when I give her oral, and frankly I do too. Well while I do enjoy pleasing her I would like to get some action sometimes. Oddly it seems like I only get hand jobs during her time of the month (I guess she gets bored.) I have tried talking to her about it but, whether she means to or not, I always end up feeling like shit for trying to make her do something she doesn't want to do. I mean it doesn't bother me enough effect our relationship, I think. So what should I do? Do I just let it go or do I say something, and if so what do I say. | Girlfriend likes receiving oral but not giving it. What do I do? |
t3_2r3adc | dating_advice | Where to go for our 2nd date, and after how many dates should I [21M] make a move on her [18F]? | I did a search on the topic but was unable to find anything relevant, so here goes.
We'll soon be going on our first date. Nothing fancy, I'll buy her coffee and we'll sit down and talk to get to know each other.
I've been in one longterm relationship before, but my experiences with dating is almost at a zero. Therefore I'm in desperate need for advice on where we should go for our second date, and when I should make a move on her.
I'm pretty sure it should just stay with the smiling and hugging at the first date, but should I try to hold her hand on the second or even try to kiss her? I know it all depend on the mood, set and setting etc., but some of my friends told me not to wait too long to make the first move, otherwise I could lose her interest.
Now I might have an advantage. When we randomly met in public not so long ago, we got to talk about a dessert I was preparing for my family. She told me that I should make it for her someday, and I agreed to.
So if I tell her after our first date that I think we should meet again, she might propose the idea of coming over to my place so I could make the dessert for her. If so, that would be our second date.
And I have some kind of feeling that I should definitely make a move on her, if we are at my place. But I'm in no personal need to do so, I'm just fine by taking it slow. It's just that I really know jack shit about dating and reading girls to be honest with you.
Any help would be very much appreciated, and I thank you all in advance. | After how many dates should I make a move, and what move should I make? Should I definitely make a move, if my date comes to my place, if yes, what move should I make?* |
t3_rq9zk | relationships | If the person you're dating wants to do something you disapprove of, what do you do? | Alright, I know this isn't the biggest and most life-destroying problem on this subreddit, yet it's something that has me unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 5weeks told me a few days ago that he wanted to get his eyebrow pierced, and honestly, l find that to be extremely trashy and would be very unappealing to me. That being said, I don't think it would be right for me to say I don't want him to get it because it's his life an he should be able to do what he wants, but I'm not entirely sure I could cope with him having one. I know it "shouldn't" matter, but it does. Im not sure what I should do about this. | My boyfriend wants to get his eyebrow pierced, I think it's trashy, should I tell him I don't want him to/should he not get it because he knows I will dislike it or do i let him do what he wants regardless of how much I will hate it? |
t3_37u04x | relationships | My LDR [24 F] girlfriend of 6 months cheated and lied to me [25 M] | We're in an LDR now, but have been together for most of the relationship.. We also had "plans" for seeing each other within a few months. Generally, we're very honest with each other, talk all day long and are supposedly super in love.
Recently, some friend-couples of her visited her city. She was touring them around. There happened to be a young (19) single guy with them.
The first night, she was supposed to call and introduce me to everyone, but never did.
She got drunk the night she met them and fell asleep in their hotel, without texting me (supposedly in one of the girls' room). She was mostly quiet for the 2-3 days of their stay. Didn't text the 2nd night also (says she was super tired.. Also says she believed she texted, but apparently not)
On these people's last day, it so happened that she was touring the single guy, while the others visited other attractions.. Alone. Until late at night. Then she went to their hotel, to supposedly sleep in the girl's room again and send them off in the morning. The girl was not answering though. It was late. She decided to sleep in this guy's room, instead of going home. She admitted that he hugged her at some point. She liked the feeling of not being alone. She says it didn't continue further.
I don't know how much of this I can believe, considering that she told me a very innocent story at first - all of them always being together, etc. After pressuring her for 2 days, I got to this "truth".
I never thought she'd cheat or lie to me, but apparently, she did. My logical brain tells me to dump this whore, as she will definitely do it again. I love her very much and miss her, however, and wish to feel like it'd be special and not follow this pattern.. She seems to be regretting it and apologizing (after being caught now).. but I doubt I'll ever trust her again. | Girlfriend met some friends, forgot about me for 3 days and emotionally (and likely physically) cheated on me easily. Also lied about it after. She now wants to move past it and see me again when I visit in a few months. |
t3_3g5exe | loseit | Works for me: avoid snacking by painting your nails! | I have never had those lovely, long fingernails worthy of a fancy manicure (I never go to the nail salon because I always bite my nails off!) but I enjoy painting them myself (it's a control thing). I've noticed in that past that painting my nails deters me from biting them or picking at them, but the last couple weeks I've notice an unexpected side effect - they prevent me from snacking, particularly those late-night-tv-watching-snack-cravings! Now that they've grown out a bit to a respectable length (short, but not gnawed off), I've been painting them regularly in the evenings while I watch a movie or tv episode. To avoid smudging them, I literally have to sit still and NOT mindlessly eat stuff out of the fridge or pantry.
Probably not something everyone can use but I'm certainly enjoying the painting process AND the snack-deterring side effects! | self-manicures and wet nailpolish helps me prevent mindless eating :) |
t3_1sawbl | relationships | Me [19 M/F] with my GF [18 M/F] duration, can't cheer me up? | My girlfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now. Overall a really successful relationship. We really enjoy our time together yadda yadda. But one problem is that I admit I have a temper. But those that have only been able to cheer me up in the future have been the really close friends and family. However she just doesn't stand a chance. I love her but when I'm really upset, like after a hard day of work or even stubbing my toe. She just has no idea what to do. She'll approach me in such a confused manner and deosnt know how to calm me down ion the slightest way. It bothers me for reasons that are obvious but also reasons I can't explain. I just wish she was one of the people that could just turn my mood around like my brother or mom. But it's absolutely impossible. I've been trying to work on my outbursts but when shes around she just gets in the way and only makes me angrier. What should I do or is this such an issue that would require me to question our relationship? Is this something serious that shows we may just not work together? | GF can't ever cheer me up when I need it most. |
t3_datve | AskReddit | Reddit, Current HS Senior here, wondering how to go about college apps. | So, im have been a long time Reddit lurker. And i finally decided to make this account for purposes such as this. But to the real point, I am a high school senior and i plan on going to college next year. I know that i want to Major in business and minor in auto-mechanics. (sorry that its not engineering or programing) what schools are good business schools, and how do i find out if they are or not. And whether or not i could get into them. my grades are fairly low(2.3), my sat was a 1120 w/o writing. I have lots of outside school stuff to list. Oh and i live in S.C. | Looking for good in state buisness school, dont want to waste my time. 2.3 gpa, 1120 sat, dont want to go to USC. |
t3_r6p3o | relationships | I always feel rejected when my boyfriend isn't in the mood for sex - I don't want to feel that way, any ideas? | I'm 21, female, in a relationship with a boy (23). We've been together for nearly a year now. We both go to college and live together for two month.
My problem is that I have serious trouble asking for what I want/need or even talking about my wishes. Even more serious I can't handle beeing rejected (which in turn makes it harder to ask for something because I'm afraid of my own reaction which I cannot controll).
Whenever I get myself to ask for something like cuddeling or having sex I feel really disapointed if he is not in the mood right now. I can't help myself but start crying, which I do not want. Naturally he is unhappy with the situation, too. He is always very nice, he doesn't let himself being talked into anything and I'm very gratefull for it, since I would hate myself if my behaviour would blackmail him.
I try to talk myself into a state of mind where it would be ok if he says no, I try to simulate my reaction in case of rejection before I ask for something. I even tried beeing pessimistic and telling myself that I wouldn't get what I want for. But it all doesn't help.
I don't even know why I feel that way, it's not like he always says no to my suggestions. Still I feel very hurt and rejected in those situations.
The best I've ever managed was a situation where I asked for sex and he didn't felt that way. He hugged me and I had tears in my eyes and was talking about how shitty it is that I always start crying but catched myself quite fast and we played some game together.
However lately it is rather getting worse.
In generall we've talked about that topic over and over again, but I have no idea how to fix my reaction. I don't want to feel that way. If he asks for somethink I can always say yes or no and for him it's quite esay to take a no. I would like it to be the same for me. | I can't help myself but start crying whenever I ask for sex or cuddeling and my boyfriend doesn't want to. |
t3_3rn5zn | relationships | Is it possible to have a relationship with just one person without getting bored or feeling trapped | I realize this question is personal and can change but I just want to get a rough idea on what people think.
I'm on reddit regularly and see a lot of posts on how people get bored of their partners and start wishing they experienced other sexual experiences if they are each others first or if they've had limited experience. this leads to them cheating or going on breaks where they eventually separate
Ive been with my boyfriend for a few years now and we're planing on settling down, we were both virgins and we were both old to be virgins ( he was 25 and I was 23 ). I'm beginning to fear that he might eventually feel bored of our sex life and have these desires to be with other women. I mean he didn't have any experience and nor did I so what if one day he decides hed like to be with someone who is more experienced? or that hed like the thrill of being with other women etc.
Part of me feels like a crazy lunatic because my bf hasn't expressed anything to hint that hes feeling this way if anything hes more interested in sex then ever but nonetheless reading all these posts about people and relationships having an expiry date before they get bored of each other is really playing with my mind
Is there anyone out there who have only ever had a single partner and have been okay with it ? is it a normal process to feel like you'll want to have sex with other people after a certain period but feel trapped ? is it possible that this won't happen or is that a slim in comparison ? I know I'm being crazy but I don't want to be naive either | I'm getting paranoid that my bf might eventually want to have sex with other women since I was his first. I'm not sure if relationships have expiry dates if they start out being virgins |
t3_12uv73 | personalfinance | Joint tax returns not filed due to a lazy husband, I'm trying to fix it. Need advice! | Husband started his own business in 2010, sole proprietorship. We also got married that year and had decided to do joint returns (stupid me!). He opened up a business checking account but doesn't have enough self-control to not use it for personal expenses.
For 2012, I've changed my filing status so at least I can file for this year. Still can't file for previous 2 years because husband can't get his shit together. I don't know where to start with getting his financials together. (I have to do it or it will never get done) I have log-ins for his accounts including his invoice website. Note, his business checking account has been closed.
Dumb question: Can I file 2010-2011 as single even though filing status was married?? Can they just incorporate how much tax I would have owed?
I found a great tax person and am ready to get back on track, just need to know what to bring her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! | Lazy husband screwed me on our tax returns and now I haven't filed for the last 2 years. |
t3_1e3bnc | AskReddit | What recently has ruined your day? | A damn squirrel ruined my day, because I was directly the cause of Mr. Squirrels demise. I'm walking, forget my wallet, fetch it a minute later and I proceed on my stroll. Then, out of the blue, Sr Squirrel runs around the corner and I damn near step on the jerk. I obviously scared the bugger and he then decides to flee the scene is a hurry, straight out into the street and toward his messy death as he was violently run over. I blame myself because had I not forgot my wallet, Mr Squirrel would still be trying to get squirrel tail. | forgetting my wallet led to the death of Mr. Squirrel. |
t3_2of01r | relationships | I [19M] cried infront of crush [19] when drunk. Friendzoned? | So basically I've liked this girl since the start of school in august. We both talked for quite a long time and one night she decided to sleep in my bed with me when drunk. She kissed my cheek and told me how special and honest I am and that she thought I was cute since the first time she saw me.
After that night things got downhill and she started flirting with other guys making me think she didnt like me anymore. Some months went by with me ignoring her becouse of me being a awkward pussy. I still really liked her and I wanted to tell her so bad.
One night when we were drunk again I unfortunately started crying and telling her Ive liked her for so long but was unsure if she thought the same. I think I put her off right there and got friendzoned becouse the next day when she wanted to talk to me, she told me I needed to find myself first and not be so shy. Then she left. I belive she likes someone else now tho. She still told me I was a really cute and honest guy that day. But that she was a wreck and not sure what to do. She started to treat me like one of her girl friends asking me if she was fat and what hair color her hair should be. I just went along and acted friendly like the pussy I am.
I still really like her so badly and I'm not sure what to do. Should I act more manly and like a bad boy with her or is it too late for me now that Ive shown my "feminine" side and got friendzoned?
I don't want to let her go.
Sorry for my bad english. | Cried infront of crush and acted like a wuss. Are my chances gone? |
t3_kpyxu | AskReddit | Is there anything you guys ever regret you didn't do | I dont mean a life changing experience or opportunity i mean something small something you could have done that later kept you up at night.
Ill start, nick vujicic (if you dont know who he is you should really google him) once came over to my school for motivational speaking and i have never really been into motivational speaking so i didnt think much of it at first but after a few minutes this guy really gave me something to think about and i was moved/amazed by him, this great example that there is still good people in the world. after he was done we had the opportunity of going over to him to thank him, say hello, even hug him, i really wanted to thank him and tell him what a great guy he is but my pride got the best of me and i left without so much as saying goodbye. and this i dearly regret. | saw an amazing person but didnt thank him for his motivational words and regret it |
t3_4yafe8 | tifu | TIFU by giving my eye a paper cut in the stupidest way | So my girlfriend and I decided to try a long distance relationship in college (California to texas). And we both had the idea of writing each other letters.
Her first letter came in today and when I read it I starting tearing up (naturally).
I told myself I would wipe any tears from letters on the letter just because I thought it would be more memorable. So as I go to wipe it off I thought to myself
"wow this would be the dumbest way to get-"
"OWWW FUCK!!! "
luckily I was on my bed so my sheets were able to catch all my eye blood. | got a cute letter from girlfriend and wiped a tear on the paper. Paper said "fuck you". Got horrible paper cut on eye. |
t3_4u0jg7 | relationships | I [21 F] am having trouble dealing with the fact that my boyfriend [21 M] [9+months, 3 LDR] has a better internship this summer and I can't take it any longer. | This summer, the summer between our junior and senior years of college my boyfriend is working at a pretty large tech company as an intern and I am stuck in our college town making a shitty hourly rate at a job that isn't doing much for my career.
As much as I love him its getting to the point where i don't even want to talk to him anymore because I can't muster the energy to be excited and proud of his relationship anymore because I am so insanely and stupidly jealous.
I feel like an awful girlfriend for saying all this but it jsut eats me away because I had an interview at that same company and he got it and I didn't and so it just makes everything worse knowing that I could have had this amazing fun exotic summer, when instead I am just sitting like dry shit in the sun.
I can't even take it, and worse, I am flying out to visit him at some point and so now I have to see the city where he spent 4 months and it just so happens to be my favorite city on earth and like I just can't take it.
How do you handle jealousy in relationships? Did you have to break up? I just feel so hurt all the time but I want to be be a good girlfriend. Its like something just snapped in me today and I can't even listen to him talk about his day anymore I just silently cry while we are on the phone. | boyfriend has fancy internship that we both went for and he got. Feelings of jealousy are making it hard for me to be a good girlfriend and also makes me want to punch the both of us in the face. |
t3_w97sj | relationships | Girlfriend's sexually abusive adopted father is getting released from prison. How can I protect her? | I (M 18) very recently started dating a girl ( f 17) and we are very open with each other, share several common interests, and overall really enjoy each others company.
Lately we've been up all hours of the night on Skype talking about practically everything under the sun. The other night while we were talking she told me some of the horror stories about how her sick bastard of an adopted father sexually abused her. From what she told me he has been in prison for the last 3 years and her adopted mother has since divorced him. She has been, and still is in counseling from these traumatic experiences.
Here's where things get really bad. I guess he's going to be released from prison and she is almost certain that he is going to try and find them and is terrified.
Reddit, I am not going to allow some sick bastard to hurt my girlfriend, what can I do to protect her and give her some peace of mind??? | Girlfriend's sexually abusive adopted father is getting released from prison. What can I do to protect her from this creep??? |
t3_msib7 | AskReddit | Weirdest Seduction [NSFW?] | What is the weirdest way in which you have ever seduced someone before?
Mine goes something like this:
It's Spring Break during college and I'm hanging out with my ex. At some point she noticed I had a bunch of blackheads on my face, which I used to let her impulsively pop when we together. With puppy dog eyes she starts asking if she can pop them for old time sake. With no actual intentions in mind, I relent under the condition that in the spirit of Spring Break, she take a shot for every one she pops. She does five (5) pop-n-shots, during which I match her anyways as a gentlemen.
So some time passes and we are on my couch just talking when she says she wants to pop more, but she doesn't want to take any more shots. I'm buzzed and so of course my mind starts going places. She's easily a 7+ and has this new bellybutton piercing that is kinda grabbing my interest. Now, I don't go fully for it;I get her to remove various articles of clothing in exchange for popping... until she is completely naked. However, Afterwards she gets under a blanket.
Not long after, she notices I have a boner and seems a bit bothered. I apologize and tell her I can't help it. Nevertheless, she admits there were still a few she wanted to pop. After some negotiations, I let her pop all of the ones she wants on the condition that she get on me cowgirl style and I get to play with her ass while she is doing it. After the fun she gets back under the blanket. However, the ass-grabbing seemed to have turned her on, as shortly thereafter I noticed she was masturbating under the blanket.
From there it becomes trivial. I offer to eat her out and she accepts. At some point she tells me to get a condom and we do our thing. She falls asleep on my couch and I go get dinner at the dining commons. | Got an ex drunk, then naked, by letting her pop my blackheads, then hit it like a boss. |
t3_13eck0 | self | My two month old yellow lab puppy is going to die. | I have a two month old yellow lab. His name is Pijo. In Mandarin it means beer (啤酒).
Anyway, a Chinese couple who live in the same apartment complex as me bought an American Husky from some guy they met on the internet. When they got home, they realized it had been painted, and had rubber bands around the ears to imitate the look of a husky.
They had their heart set on a Husky, so they decided to just get another real Husky puppy too. They took both dogs to the vet and found out Pijo had a potentially fatal disease. It's highly contagious to dogs, foxes ect, but not humans.
So, I told them I would take care of Pijo until it was not contagious anymore. They even said I could probably keep it if I wanted.
Lately, Pijo has been acting worse and worse. He even refused to eat the past few days. He cried more often and seemed to be in pain, so I took him to the vet again. They told me he is in pretty bad shape, and there's a high chance he will die.
They said I can keep him in the hospital for at least 5 days. Each day to stay there is 400 RMB, about $66 a day. I can't afford to pay that, and the original dumbass owners can't pay for it either.
Pijo is laying in my lap right now and groans whenever he moves. I feel so bad for him. | My two month old yellow lab puppy is going to die. |
t3_1zofua | relationship_advice | I [21/m] am fed up with my SO's [24/m] financial situation; any advice? | **Relevant Information:**
1. We've been together for almost 7 months
2. SO moved into my apartment after 4 months; they had been spending most of the nights with me up to that point.
3. SO has been going through some tough financial and personal situations since we started dating
4. I'm in uni and work part-time (have money for my place due to scholarships)
5. SO is in uni and works full-time.
**The Problem**
As of late, I've found myself annoyed at the fact that my SO cannot afford to put in any money towards shared groceries. I also pay about 60% of rent and utilities as it is, and most of my extra money from my paycheck is going to groceries and other shared expenses (i.e., the occasional meal out). I've taken into account their personal situation, but still can't help but find myself disillusioned with the situation.
I know finances are an important part of any serious relationship, and I've tried to not to let it get to me. But, when they promise to pick up the milk only to tell me last minute that they can't due to their finances, I can't help but get irked. It seems like breaking a promise, albeit a small one.
We had previously discussed plans of moving in again together for the upcoming school year, but I am now wary due to the lack of apparent financial stability on their end. | My SO has been having some financial issues since we moved in, and I'm annoyed and tired of having to cover a lot of shared things. Any advice? |
t3_1zjr0k | relationship_advice | [31/m] needs help with LTR that's achieved mediocrity | I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years. Yes, girlfriend, 8 years. We've had our ups and downs, no need for a lot of background (unless requested, I guess). She's wanted to get married, to have kids, etc for a long while. I can't see myself, right now, doing any of these things.
I think my resistance comes from a place of selfishness, hence my post here. I love her, I respect her, I don't want to lose her, but we're different enough that I think the relationship would just coast at idle for the rest of our lives, if we were to spend them together. I want someone who's more like me, who's more into the things I'm into without having to bore/force them on them. I want to be legitimately interested in THEIR things. While I'm not likely to find the female version of me (and I sincerely hope to never meet that person, oi), I want them to be independent enough so that when it comes to things we're not mutually keen on, we're perfectly capable of enjoying our own things without having to drag one another though stuff we're not going to enjoy.
I really do care for this person, and my biased thought is: we're not right enough for one another, and it would be better for both of us to find more compatible people. The problem I'm having is twofold: Having met real life people that I just click with better, I feel like maybe I'm experiencing a "grass is greener" moment. Given the massive number of people on the earth, there will almost always be someone that will be a better match, so where do you stop? The other side of this coin is that I don't want to hurt her, and there will definitely be a lot of hurt involved.
So what do I do? Do I stay in an acceptable-yet-fairly-mediocre relationship, or break out of this rut and try for something greater and more passionate? | End an OK, long-lasting but generally mediocre relationship, or hurt someone I care about to improve both of our happiness? |
t3_15bnoq | relationship_advice | Shy girl, self doubting guy | first time posting here
I'm a guy (17) who recently has become interested in a girl (17), the problem is I can't tell if she's interested, she never starts conversations but when we have them they go on for hours (one even went on for 10 ½ consecutively), she is very talkative round other people but goes shy around me, I've caught her looking at me across the room before but she never comes over and starts the conversation and she trusts me with secrets/stories she hasn't told anyone else but becomes hard to talk to unless its online or 1 on 1, I'm going to ask her out after Christmas so I'll know for sure then but I'm interested to know if anyone can shed some light on what she's thinking, some other information is that she's got kinda low self esteem, she's a very friendly person, I was socially awkward and weird (not too bad) the past few years but got my shit sorted a year ago or so and even on days when I've said message me later I have to start the convo again | girl I want is shyer around me than other people to the point she often feels distant and never starts conversations although when I do they're long and she seems interested, what's going on? |
t3_3e1g6f | pettyrevenge | Put the money on the counter, I'm putting it there too. | I'm a cashier at a retail store. A man came to checkout. I quickly scanned his two items. He went for his wallet and I saw him pulling cash out so I extend my hand a little bit so he can hand me the cash. Instead of handing it to me he ignored my hand and put it right on the counter so I had to pick it up. So I put his receipt, cash, and change right on the counter, bag his items and say have a good day. He looks at me and says "really?" to which I reply, "Oh I thought you preferred your money on the counter instead of in your hand." He looked at me in disbelief, grabbed his bag and money and walked out. | Customer disrespects me by not handing me his money, I don't hand him his. |
t3_rthkv | Pets | Any vets here? I need some advice about a wounded pigeon I just saved | My neighbors cat had some "fun" with a random pigeon on my front yard, so I rushed away the damn cat because that poor pigeon was in a world of hurt. Its wing was clearly injured and it couldn't fly away. I caught the poor guy and now he's in my garage for the night. He looks calm now and hopefully he's not in distress anymore. I gave him water and some breadcrumbs and hopefully he'll recover tomorrow.
Right now I'm trying to think of the next steps for this poor guy. Can you help me out here? Any advice how to rehabilitate this poor bird? | neighbors cat attacked a pigeon, I rescued the bird, he's in my garage for the night, what to do next? |
t3_4g0h1d | relationships | Me [22F] with my Boyfriend [21M] of 1 year, I'm really possessive | I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and the only reoccurring issue we have is about him having female friends and stuff. I'm from South America and just came to the US for school, and I'm still getting used to the differences in culture and everything. Along with the cultural differences I'm also very shy, and I don't have very many friends. My boyfriend is much more social than me and he has a lot of friends, of both genders. Sometimes I come along with him when he hangs out with them and I always feel awkward around them, I worry that they are judging me and that they don't like me. They look like they're smiling sarcastically at me, and like talking to each other about me and stuff. I know it might be stupid but I don't like my boyfriend to have friends who are girls, especially if they hang out alone. Like I would prefer if he can hang out with girls but only if I'm there too. I don't know if I should say that to him though because he might think that I'm wanting to control him, but that isn't the case at all. I don't know why I feel so jealous of other girls, because I trust him and don't think he would ever cheat on me. But I know how girls are and I don't want them around my boyfriend. How do I approach this issue appropriately without being controlling? | My boyfriend is much more outgoing than me, he has a lot of friends, many of which are girls. I get jealous when he hangs out with girls, and I don't want him to but I don't want him to think I'm controlling. |
t3_zoo6z | AskReddit | When you have a long-term work assignment, how do you split up your commitment over the course of several days? | So, say I have 5 parts of a single assignment with roughly a 10 hour work-load each, totaling at 50 hours combined. (With me so far?) What way best suits you to split up this work over time?
Are you better off using example A, where every segment gets 2h of work equally, or are you better off using example B, where one day corresponds to an entire part of the given whole?
A. | Su| M | T | W | Th| F | Sa|
1. | x | 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| x |
2. | x | 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| x |
3. | x | 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| x |
4. | x | 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| x |
5. | x | 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| 2h| x |
B. | Su| M | T | W | Th| F | Sa|
1. | x |10h| x | x | x | x | x |
2. | x | x |10h| x | x | x | x |
3. | x | x | x |10h| x | x | x |
4. | x | x | x | x |10h| x | x |
5. | x | x | x | x | x |10h| x |
I know psychology buffs in here could give me a well-thought out answer, but what is your personal favorite technique to distribute work throughout the week? | What's your favorite way to split up time for multiple jobs consisting of a singular, overall assignment? |
t3_1fk01o | relationships | I [f 18] want to be cool with my boyfriend [21] going to a strip club with me and his friends. | Hello Reddit! This is a throwaway. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 year now, and I really want to be "cool" with him going to a strip club for his birthday. He has already said that I could go. I trust him, but honestly, I feel like I would be jealous seeing a beautiful girl grinding on him. I don't believe he would cheat, but the idea of watching him be turned on by another girl bothers me. I know we can't control being attracted to other people (Hell, I would probably get turned on by a male stripper). But I want to be able to manage it in a non-jealous way. My boyfriend is the jealous type too, and I know he would get angry If I was to grind on another guy (even if he was there) so, is there an unfair double standard? He doesn't *really* want to go, but he doesn't refuse the idea sense his friends want to take him out and honestly I want him to enjoy his birthday. I don't want him to say "I can't go because throwaway wouldn't be okay with it."
I'm just trying to figure out a way for my boyfriend to enjoy his birthday, because I don't want to be controlling him. He's never been to a strip club and neither have I, so it *could* be a fun experience. I just don't know if I would feel comfortable watching my (probably tipsy) boyfriend getting grinding on by naked woman. Help me out, Reddit? | I want to be cool with my boyfriend going to a strip club with his friends and I. |
t3_4az3ce | relationships | I (M27) need to break up with my GF (F25) of 9.5 years because she has anger issues and gets really nasty.. I can't deal with the tantrums anymore. | My GF is so sexy and smart and funny. I love her more than anything but she has some issues (maybe something that happened as a child, i dont know) that she won't address, after I have begged her to seek help, I am even willing to go with her as I have always supported her through good and bad.
Anyway, she often gets frustrated and angry at really small and insignificant things that then turns into a deep rage quite quickly sometimes, then I have to do everything I can to calm her and explain that her behavior is not acceptable but I just get abused or written off as if im talking jiberish bullshit and some how it always ends up being my fault and I'm the bad guy for saying how I feel.
I am just really exhausted from all of it and don't know how much more I can take. I feel like we need to break up but I can't seem to make a decision and commit to it because I love her so much and don't want to give up on us as we have been together a long time and when she is being nice and happy it's really fun. We have a similar perspective of life and click with most things but I feel im her verbal punching bag alot of the time and when she does stop and apologizes it just happens again half and hour later. | GF angry often and gets real nasty. I need to end it but don't know if I can coz I love her. |
t3_z5490 | AskReddit | What to do when a big online gambling site won't let you withdraw your money? | I'm not a big gambler but a few years ago on the world cup (or was it Euro?) (soccer) i uploaded some money on bwin.com and placed some bets. Lost some, won some. Everything together think lost a few hundreds but still have less than 300 $ on my account. Now, last month i've noticed the Belgian government has forbidden all online games so i thought i'd better withdraw my money.
Did a request online. Wanted to put it back on my visa : impossible because another (already expired) card was used to upload money on my account. Wanted to put it on my paypal: same.
From all the options only bank transfer seem to work. Completed some long form with bank account details and so on and sent the request. A few days later i receive a mail telling me they need a scan of some official ID for my own security. Note that you can not reply on those mails. On the website i upload my id card. Another few days later another mail saying that as i had not replied on their first mail they will cancel the request. Trough the website i fill a contact form (note that the form has to be completed with address information and plenty of other info even if you are logged in) saying that I did upload what they've asked and they still say i haven't 'replied or whatever'
Another few days later I receive an apology mail in which they state they did received the ID but they needed the back also. Immediately i upload the back. Another few days later (today) i receive another mail saying that as I hadn't replied to their messages they've cancelled my request.
Again i have sent a mail asking to please refund me and did another request after which they've immediately replied they've need some id proof to be uploaded and so on...
It seems to me that do everything in their power to discourage me to withdraw my money.
What should I do? | I wanted to withdraw my money from bwin.com but they do everything in their power to discourage me |
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