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t3_16uktt | tifu | TIFU by intentionally being an asshole to someone who I thought was someone else. | Walking home from an exam, pretty tired and drained.
See someone walking towards us, as they get close I just yell:
"HEY, FUCK YOU!!"
I then proceeded to make the poor bastard high-five me. I wondered why he seemed so... *hesitant*, but didn't dwell on it.
Cut to me later on Teamspeak with some people. Let's call the person I *thought* it was... "J".
Me: "Guess who I met today? J!"
J: "You... haven't seen me today. That didn't happen."
Me: "Uhh... what? You sure? ^^^We ^^^high ^^^fived ^^^and ^^^everything! ^^^^^^and ^^^^^^I ^^^^^^said ^^^^^^FUCK ^^^^^^YOU ^^^^^^O_O
J: "Yep, I wasn't even in town this afternoon \^_\^"
Me: D:
It turns out I had shouted at someone completely different, a friend-of-a-friend who in retrospect doesn't look anything like "J". Apparently they were quite confused, and next time I see them will be extremely embarrassing. | HEY, FUCK YOU!!" is the BEST way to greet people you only vaguely know. |
t3_d48rn | AskReddit | Reddit: I have this very specific self-esteem/confidence issue and am looking for advice | Hey guys. Throwaway, obviously.
I've always felt like I was eventually going to be really awesome. I still have this belief and feel like I'm going to totally get over this stuff at some point. However, I feel like I'm currently at a place in my life where I'm "worse than" most other people, or at least more miserable or something. This is mostly centered around my total lack of relationship success (a couple of random hookups at college don't count), and I feel like once I get that shit sorted out I'll be a much happier and successful person and I'll have finally reached the point in my life where I think everything is sorted out as it should be.
I think part of the problem is that I have this constantly desire to improve myself. This sounds like some bullshit that you might come up with to respond to a "what is your greatest weakness?" question in a job interview, but what it actually means is that I always end up feeling inadequate in some way. I have trouble accepting who I am and loving that person and instead just fantasize about how awesome I'll be in the future once I've acquired skill X or gotten over mental roadblock Y.
I see all the time posted on here that first you must love yourself if you want someone to love you. This makes sense (and I also want to have better self-esteem and self-confidence for my own reasons). I think sometimes I can have a negative energy to me, and I know that's not what I want to be radiating to people around me. The problem is that I don't know how to do this. I think a really important part of the problem is that I see my current self as distinct from the "good" future self that I will eventually became. Do you guys have any advice for how to get over that? | Though in general I like who I am, I see myself as a different person from the successful, happy me in the future. How do I get over this and start to see myself as that person? |
t3_wynft | AskReddit | What's the most regrettable or embarrassing thing you've said in school? | Last year in US Government, our teacher was talking about gay marriage and discussing the legal issues associated with it. He asked (rhetorically, as I soon realized) "What compelling reason is there to deny gays the right to marry? Why shouldn't they be allowed to?". Earlier he had tied the Westboro Baptist Church into the lesson. So I thought it would be a good opportunity to be the funny guy, so in the brief pause after he asked the question, I blurted out "because God hates fags". (Mind you, this was 12th grade, so profane language wasn't totally taboo; our teacher swore casually). I figured everyone would get the WBC reference and have a good laugh about it. Nope. No one laughed. I got a few weird looks and my teacher awkwardly tried to explain why that isn't a legitimate reason, as if it were my genuine opinion. I briefly and hopelessly tried to explain myself but I'm still not sure anyone got it. The teacher clumsily segued back into the lesson, which really wasn't intended to be interrupted at all, as I spent the rest of the class silently wanting to die.
Tonight instead of sleeping, my scumbag brain decided to rehash all the stupid shit I've done in my life. So let's hear yours. | Made WBC reference as joke, came off as obnoxious, bigoted asshole. In retrospect, it really was in bad taste and not as funny as I thought. |
t3_1pssbu | dating_advice | [30M] How to handle a younger friend/crush on the rebound? | I'm a 30/m with very little relationship experience beyond a single 2-year relationship that ended several years ago. A younger (22/f) coworker has a pretty obvious crush on me, and I think she's trying to turn that into a relationship of some kind. However, she's clearly on the rebound from a recent long-term relationship (her ex hasn't even moved out yet).
Given that I'm older and a bit of a feminist, I probably treat her with more respect and understanding than a lot of the guys her own age, so it's possible that she's interested in me right now just because of that, rather than anything about me in particular. I also question my own motivations, since although I'm pretty emotionally stable and haven't been actively seeking a relationship, it's been a while since I've been in a relationship, and I feel like I could be motivated a bit by desperation/loneliness.
A mutual acquaintance suggested that this peraon probably hasn't processed her current situation yet, that she just needs some friends, and that I should wait until her ex moves out and she's more emotionally stable. I agree; I like her, and I don't want to exploit her current emotional vulnerability. However, I'm not sure what to do if she ends up pursuing me. I would be open to dating her at some point, so I don't want to lie and say that I'm not interested, but I'm not sure how to tell her that I think she might need time to heal, without being patronizing. | How can I do right by a younger friend/crush who's on the rebound? |
t3_ymcgp | relationship_advice | [29/m] GF of 2 years (26/f) found some old saved reddit links she didn't like on my account. | So, I decided to come here and post this because I'm just not sure how I should feel about it.
My gf decided she wanted to see what reddit was all about while using my laptop (which I normally never leave home) to print some stuff. She was looking for something similar to "favorites" to see what it was I liked and she ended up on my page of saved links. The first page had nothing bad on it but on the next page, there were maybe about 5-6 links. 3or 4 of these links were NSFW kind of links that I had saved probably 7 or so months ago, when I was brand new to reddit. I had forgotten about them and hadn't looked at them since I saved them.
We've been together 2 years, and the issue of me looking at porn has come up once or twice, but we've never fully discussed it. I disagree with her view that if you are with someone, you shouldn't masturbate anymore.
We also have an ongoing with our sex life, in which we basically don't have one. This issue is one I'm not sure of the reasoning for. I've only had one other serious relationship and she was more aggressive and would get tired of waiting and would turn me on to get what she wanted. On top of that, the sex with my last gf worked better. I am an overweight guy (and she is somewhat too) and it really limits what we can even do. I think this is a big issue for me as it ends up being me doing all the hard work and it's quite exhausting and... yeah.
I'd say I look at porn once a week, and I wonder if it does have an effect on my sex drive, but I'm honestly not sure. What I'm really looking for here is, should I feel bad here? Should I be the one apologizing? I understand why finding this would make her upset but at the same time I don't know how guilty I really feel. She is taking this very seriously and has left the house for now. What do you guys think? Feel free to ask any questions about anything I may have left out. | GF found some NSFW links saved in my reddit account, is quite upset that she can't live up to my "desires" |
t3_1oxo80 | relationship_advice | There is a guy that has been sending[25/M] my wife [27/F] messages on facebook asking for pictures and such. Should I tell his girlfriend what he's doing? | My wife is very attractive and works as a bartender so we're used to her getting messages from random people saying how hot she is, asking for pictures etc. I'm used to it. I'm not the jealous type and she usually handles it herself, so it doesn't really bother me. One guy in particular bothered me. Neither me or my wife know the guy, but we have many mutual friends. He did the usual "you're so beautiful, please send pics" routine. She just ignored him so he started with "why don't you like me? Are you not attracted to me". She responded, telling him thanks for the compliment but she's happily married and not interested. He didn't get the hint and told her how it was his birthday and asked her to "just play a little". He even sent her his phone number. At this point, she came to me and asked me to intervene. I did, he never responded to me or sent her another message. After browsing through his Facebook, I got irritated. He has a lot of posts talking about his hatred of cheaters and fake people and how much he loves his girlfriend. So my first thought upon seeing his hipocrasy was to screen cap his conversation and sent it to her, to show what a piece of shit she is with. On one hand, its not my business and I don't really care since I don't know either of these people. On the other, I would want to know if it was happening to me. I just don't want me or my wife getting blamed for his problems. | Guy sending my wife raunchy facebook messages is in a serious committed relationship and loves preaching against cheaters. Torn on weather I should show her what he has been doing. |
t3_4bu3sx | askwomenadvice | How to know if a woman will talk to me? | So to completely explain the situation, I'm a 21 year old dateless wonder who really has problems with self-worth and with women, (had a lot of really bad experiences, especially in highschool). Basically, they made me feel worthless. I'm getting help and trying to work on this, but it's hard to like myself when I feel women would rather use a cactus as a dildo than talk to me.
However, to get better I basically have to talk to them and have more positive experiences. I'm of course seen as incredibly creepy by every woman at my college because I'm not Mr. DudeFratBro with all the stereotypical trimmings. I want to get over all this bitterness and honestly sexist ideas, but I can't if I can't talk to women and I can't talk to women if they won't talk back.
I want to get better, I hate this person and I know others do too. I want to fix this. I know that my depression makes people despise me more, so any sort of advice on how to be someone less pathetic would be nice as well, (what to say, how to be more... superconfidentdudebro, etc.). It'd be nice to be someone others want in their lives. | Loser has problems with women and needs to know when it's ok to talk to them. |
t3_3j3d21 | relationships | I [24/F] don't feel the spark with BF [27/M] of ~1 year | I care very deeply for Boyfriend. We're cozy and comfortable with each other. We bicker quite infrequently, and emotionally/intellectually, we're both very stimulated.
Actually, everything is fairly perfect, save for that I don't feel like there's any passion or spark. He doesn't look at me like he wants me; he rarely initiates in bed, and isn't very touchy with me, even in non-sexual ways. I find myself kissing him first 9/10 times.
In many ways, this makes me feel like he doesn't find me attractive. The thing is, whereas in past relationships I've gone through the 'relationship weight' and you get, like, fat and happy with each other, we've actually pushed our fitness and health further, insofar that I've quit smoking and we've both become dedicated to Paleo. So I know that I haven't let myself go.
I don't just want to slam the book on this relationship; everything else is perfect. But this is something so very important to me. How do I tell him I don't feel any passion from his end? Or discuss my feelings of self-worth?
I fear that, when I do, he'll feel inadequate, or in some way force himself to be more passionate without genuinely feeling it... | I don't feel like there's passion, but I don't want to shut the door on relationship completely yet. |
t3_1pyuj5 | personalfinance | Wells Fargo doesn't want to take more money from me. Does this make any sense to anyone else? | I had previously posted on an application I'm making for private student loan consolidation with Wells Fargo [here] To preface, the sole purpose I'm applying for this is to lower monthly minimums due in order to lower my DTI in order to have the best application on a mortgage next year.
I was under the impression (and nowhere in the loan application process did it state how it was chosen) that I would get to choose the term of the loan, 15y vs 20y. I get the loan documents back (after a clusterfuck of an application process that involved them not getting documents confirmed sent to them no less than 3 times, mind you) and the term is 15y at the lowest interest rate they offer on that.
I call to ask if they'd re-review the application for a 20-year term. They call me back and say no. I ask them to escalate it. They escalate it and they say no.
So, basically Wells Fargo is now telling me that I qualify for their (harder-to-get) 15y loan at the lowest interest rate they offer (so, for all intents and purposes, I have the perfect credit they're looking for in a consumer) but that I don't qualify, under their policies, for a 20y term.
I've explained and explained and explained the reasoning behind it (lower minimum = lower DTI = lower APR on a mortgage) and that I, voluntarily, am willing to accept the potential burden of more interest over the term of the loan. They're saying that a 20y term is not in what they deem to be my best interests as I would be paying more interest in that case. No. Fucking. Duh. In turn, they won't offer me a 20y term whatsoever.
Does this make any sense to anyone else? | Applying for student loan consolidation at Wells. They're telling me I qualify for a harder-to-get loan at the lowest IR possible, but not one with a longer term, as it's not in my best interest to pay more interest, despite me voluntarily agreeing to pay more in interest over a longer term in exchange for a lower minimum due in order to lower my DTI for a potential mortgage application next year. |
t3_ny8ck | relationships | Not attracted to my boyfriend, but I don't want to lie to him. | Hello, I'm 19 f and my boyfriend is 18, well, m. We've been dating for 8 months now.
I've never found my boyfriend to be attractive, but I decided to date him because I found his personality appealing. He's constantly insecure because he claims that I am much more attractive than him and am "above his league". When he asks me if I find him attractive, I tell him that I do because his self-esteem is bad enough as it is, and of course I wouldn't want to hurt him.
However, this is getting in the way of intimacy (at least, for me) because I don't find him physically attractive when it comes to sexual intercourse/the like. Whenever he asks me if something's wrong because he feels that I'm not "into it," I lie and tell him everything is fine. But recently it's just not cutting it for me. I don't want to devastate him by saying that I'm not physically attracted to him, yet I'm not satisfied. It's selfish of me, I know, but what should I do about it? | I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend and I never have been, but when he asks me I lie to him, which is getting in the way of my sexual pleasure. What to do? |
t3_lqr4t | AskReddit | I have flowers, duct tape, and a tight budget, ideas for me and gf's 1st year present please? | ive lurked long enough! I must call upon reddit for some awesome ideas. I've done quite a lot with her throughout the year.
We've done some cool things from small cruises to hot air ballooning...surprise parties and of course surprise gifts.. But now I'm back in school, and jobless..so i cant afford the more expensive stuff, but I'm still just as crazy about her as I was the first day, and she has not failed me as a girlfriend either. I wanna show her that...
I have gift card access to flowers , which helps me in the budget department, and i have a fresh roll of duct tape in the car which is also why i mentioned it. As for everything else, I dont have too much money to spend..so I need help.
I dont have much time either, not only is it tmr that i need to present it.. but its also my exam week, where im on my 4th exam today (thursday) and last one tomorrow...
My first (and proudest) present to her was a necklace hidden inside a sealed box of pocky. so hopefully I can get some help making an even better attempt this time.
hope someone out there can help me :) thanks for reading! | want gift for gf, dont have money or time due to jobless and exam week. need help ASAP |
t3_eoyve | self | What I did to make the Holidays great for myself. | Give. Seriously. Give what you can. I feel absolutely great right now. I don't mean put your savings into the red-jar in front of Wal-Mart. I gave away some of my favorite video games to friends so that they can re-gift them to their SO's because they can't afford gifts for them. I also gave some money to a friend so that they can buy gifts for a family that's down on their luck. I'm not saying "OH LOOK ET ME I"M GREAT," I'm just saying it put me in a really good mood to do nice things...
I had to get off my lazy ass to actually go mail things, and i'm not even upset for it. I even dusted off my skateboard to ride around and then *GASP* cleaned my room. I never realized that my mood could affect my actions this way. I hope I can keep the habit of acting this way all the time.... | Giving stuff made me feel good. And i'm using Reddit as a diary so i can read it later to remind myself to do it more often. |
t3_182hr1 | relationship_advice | Good [f]riend acting very strange [18/m] | A good female friend of mine, whom I helped recover from drug addiction, and helped get her out of an emotional rut, is acting very strange towards me lately. She is currently in a relationship with a guy who is seemingly bipolar, hes either fantastic, or horrible. Half the time she is depressed about it, the other have cant stop talking about how great he is.
Anyway, about a month back she and I started hanging out a lot more. Just going out and doing stuff everyday, working out together, movies, hiking, etc. She has slept over at my current apartment 3 times. On the couch. In an average week we probably see each other 3-4 times, usually 4-8 hours each time.
The friendship dynamic with this girl is strange, she has a boyfriend, I know she does. But she treats me like her boyfriend when we are in public, but in private, she treats me like a "bro".
We decided that for both of us it would be beneficial to get an apartment and share it, 2bed 1bath. Beneficial in terms of finances. The other night we were browsing a Bed bath and beyond type store, when she grabbed my hand and held it romantically. Whilst this holding of the hand occurred, she showed me all the things WE should get in our apartment together, in OUR bathroom, just treating it like we were a couple moving in together.
I dont know how to approach this situation at all. To be honest if she were genuinely interested in me I would have a relationship with her. Im just not sure how to process her behavior. | Good friend of mine with boyfriend acts like she and I are a couple. We are getting an apartment together. I cant tell if she is actually interested in me, or where her behavior comes from. |
t3_1khwgn | relationships | I (20F) don't know whether or not to tell the ex (19M)/still good friend about summer fling... | My first boyfriend and I broke up at the beginning of the summer after dating for a year and a half. It was a fairly mutual breakup as we had been having a lot of struggles and we were both about to study abroad and be away for a long time.
While I was emotionally distraught and confused after the breakup, I dated a coworker for a few weeks. It ended badly and I quickly realized I never had feelings for him the first place and he was just a rebound.
Well, my ex and I have remained good friends over the summer, but he doesn't no about my fling with the coworker. We go back to school soon and I don't know whether or not I should tell him because I don't want to potentially hurt him just to save my guilty conscience but I also don't want to hide things from him.
Also, it might be important to note that my ex had expressed concerns while we were dating about my coworker having feelings for me, so that's awkward. | Should I tell my ex/good friend about the fling I had after we broke up? |
t3_3iaffa | relationships | [M24] Feeling hopeless after girlfriend [F23] of two and a half years ends relationship then finds someone else. | My girlfriend of two and a half years ended our relationship recently after I moved cities for a job and now she is already dating someone else. She's told me he is everything she wanted me to be. She can't go back to mediocrity now that she's experienced something better.
I can't say I don't deserve it. I didn't treat her well. Never made her a priority. What I wouldn't give for another chance now that I realize how stupid I've been.
This is a girl who has pursued me for eight years, since high school and through college. She always told me she was going to marry me one day and would have in a moment if I'd asked. Always told me I was the man of her dreams. Always supported me. Made me feel loved and I wasted it all because I didn't give her my all like she did me. How horrible a person do you have to be to make someone who wanted you so badly detest you?
I deserve it. She deserves better and I know she's happier but now I'm left with just my thoughts. They're getting worse everytime I think about her being affectionate towards someone else. I can't imagine I'll ever find someone who has loved me so much.
I've struggled with depression for years but now it's become a physical affliction. I feel like I'm going to get to the point I simply can't function. The fact that I just moved to a new town is making it so much worse. I have a friend staying here for now but I'm afraid of myself and how desperate I'll be to stop this pain once I'm alone for hours at a time in this apartment. | Long time girlfriend broke up with me and found someone else. Not in a good place mentally. |
t3_2ndu0r | legaladvice | Warning over how many times I "clock-out" at work. Please read, I really need advice. | I work in an office building and we have a clock-in to get into our office space. We also have to clock-out to get to the bathroom or lunch room and this isn't counted as work time. We have to make 8 hours a day (40 hours a week). I come into work 8:00am everyday and leave 5:30pm and don't traditionally take an hour for lunch at 12.
I'm living in fear that my bathroom usage and getting coffee is making me susceptible to being let go. I got a warning that I'm not meeting the company's standard and that I'm taking extended breaks. I'm literally only clocking out to use the bathroom or get coffee and I pee a lot in a day. I try to drink 8 cups of water or else I get a uti and they are extremely painful. I got an email basically ccing everyone 'up there' and it's embarrassing to explain that I have not left the office building for anything except the bathroom and lunch room. I don't mess around at work and this is my best and I can't have one cup of water at work to reduce my frequency.
Should I go to the doctor to get a note saying if I don't drink enough water, I will be at risk for getting utis and a general check-up? Is this legally okay for them to do this?
My time sheets state that I'm just under 8 hours a day. I try to heat up my lunch which takes about 10-15 depending on if someone else is using the microwave and I try really hard to pee only when I need to (bladder actually hurting kind of pee). I'm at a loss. It's making me feel stressed and unhappy. It's the first environment that I've ever had to clock out to pee.
I live [here] "Grand Cayman - Cayman Islands"). | Company has a clock out system to use the bathroom and lunch room. Got an email saying I'm not following company's guidelines and that I have to stop taking 'extended breaks' when really I only use the bathroom throughout the day and also heat up my food and eat at my desk. |
t3_uaaqw | AskReddit | Reddit, any great ideas for a wedding surprise? | In about 3 months one of my Best Friend is getting married, my friends have designated me to come up with a brilliant idea for a surprise since I already orchestrated a few (from the basic speech to lipdubs and other videos).
But for this one I really want to do something special and something that hasn't been seen before (at least not seen by the Groom).
There will be around 25 people included in the surprise so for the moment the idea I have is to do the musical in the same vein as [this] Knowing that only a tiny minority has a good voice and some can dance, it might be quiet entertaining.
However there might be another great idea out there, so please people of reddit let share with me your best ideas or tips ... | My best friend is getting married, I need some inspiration for a show during the wedding dinner. |
t3_3hvsrd | relationships | [Advice needed] I [23/F] can't stop being interested in 'taken' men. | I am only interested in men in Relationships.
My last four relationships have all started with me finding guys in Relationships already really attractive. Long story short, we meet, chat, get on really well, they end up dumping their girlfriends a few months later and then 2-6months later we end up in a year long or more solid relationship. It never lasts more than 18months and I'm not sure if this is because of the way we got together....
When a single guy shows his interest I just don't get the same buzz of interest in return. It's almost like I just like the taken guys??
I would really like to know how to break this cycle and be normal. | Serious - How can I see the value in single men so I can have a secure relationship? |
t3_1c1khm | relationships | My bf (27 m) is going to spend way less money on my (21 f) engagement ring than he did for his ex wife | I am 21 f and he is 27 m. We have been together for two years, and have not gotten enaged yet, but we are pretty seriouse about it. Now we are talking about proposals and engagement rings and where we might elope to. And I am very sure that this guy will deliver on his promises. Anyway.
Now I understand that he does not make that much money, and he never did. But I remember him saying months ago something like "I spent $1,500 on my ex wife's ring, it was pretty cheap." And now a few days ago to me he said he would only spend between $600-700 for the ring.
At first I was very okay with it, and even looked at some cheaper rings since I do not care about money spent on stupid stuff in general, but I just remembered how much he spend on his ex wife and he even said it was an okay about of money to spend on a ring, but not okay for me. He made about $19,000 yr when when was with her, and with me he makes about $25,000 yr. (He switched jobs)
It's not a lot at all I know, and I am okay with that...but he spent double on her, when he had less money, and even said that her ring price was no big deal, but mine is apparently. He has less debt now too while he is with me.
Oh and he claims to like me way more than he ever did her, but I am not too sure now...What do you think? I just do not want to get married to the wrong guy, and I am not sure if this is a flag or not.
We have our ups and downs and we have more ups, but when we get downs then they are pretty annoying.
And this will be the first time that I am getting married, him the second time.
Help please. | Boyfriend and soon to be husband maybe spent 2x on ex wife's ring and thought it was no big deal, but he wants to be cheap with me but claims to like me more. I am confused. |
t3_x8bgo | AskReddit | My friends and I got screwed over by an Entertainment Lawyer can you give us some advice? | This is a long story but I'll try to make it succinct as possible. A few months back I was hired to edit a documentary about a girl who was brain damaged in a car accident and over the last 13 years, despite all the odd, was able to work herself to become a highly functioning person again, it's a sweet story and is very touching.
The problem came when an entertainment lawyer, who I'll call Roger, was brought into the production to advise. Well the production crew and I worked our asses off filming the family, traveling with them, and editing the footage into a nice video that would help us find more funding for the project. Our Executive Producer, Rich (who was best friends with Roger), got a meeting with Hallmark to get them to invest in the project. Somewhere in the meeting Roger was able to make a deal with Hallmark, but cut rich out of the project completely, with no compensation for his work. He also fired the entire production crew. Leaving himself and the family to take the money from hallmark and any profit the documentary could have made. A typical Hollywood move. But, my friend, Mark, was one of the producers on the film and he worked very hard to establish a good relationship with the family, he talked to them and they made a verbal agreement to pay the crew for their work at full union rates. So Mark sent them an invoice. What does Roger do? He threatens to sue us for extorting money from the family. So here we are, nine people, all screwed out of several months work. And this old jackass lawyer is reaping all the benefits. The others have pretty much given up on getting any payment for the work but I keep thinking there is something we can do. We have all the footage we shot for it, so that might help. I uploaded the commercial and videos to my YouTube account which he then downloaded and re-uploaded them to his own, so I might be able to flag his as copyright infringement. but I'm not entirely sure, all I know is we got screwed out of $6,000 each by this guy and I feel like there's more we can do. have any of you been in this situation? does anyone have any advice for us? | A shady lawyer cheated us out of a lot of money and a film, I want to do something about it. |
t3_3e32ur | tifu | TIFU by lacking social skills | Obligatory "this didn't happen today but a few years ago" in freshman year of high school. That was a very awkward time in my life and I hung around with the wrong people. I have a learning disability that affects my social skills. It's kinda like Asperger's syndrome except I'm not autistic. I used to have trouble making friends and now I just have trouble getting a girlfriend.
So I knew a kid named Shane and he started dating this pretty attractive girl from our school's rival school. Let's name her samantha. The details are a little fuzzy on who got whos number but somehow either samantha texted me first or I did. I'm guessing she got it from someone based on the way(s) she aproached me. Samantha started texting me every day and we really hit it off. I didn't think anything of it. Then at a school dance she was dancing with her boyfriend and I told her I was leaving. She stopped dancing and immediately came over to me to give me a hug. Again I didn't think anything of it. She even liked a really stupid young teenager status of mine on facebook. Nobody else liked it but her. Wind the clocks forward to a year where I'm much different. I was down in the dumps about s girl who didn't like me back. I had been talking to samantha but it was clear she wasn't into me anymore. That's when I figured out she liked me a year ago. I even asked a girl who knew her if she liked me at the time and she said samantha did. | I didn't realize a really pretty girl liked me until a year later |
t3_452z7j | relationships | Me [18 M] with my interest [19 F] one date, Girl with depression needs time, is it me? | So as of right now I'm just feeling very confused and am not sure quite where else to turn, so I suppose you all could help me shed light on the situation.
I had been co workers with this girl for about a month, we had hit it off very well and I heard from another coworker that she was interested in me. As I was in a LTR at the time, I decided not to take further action. Two weeks ago the co worker (B) quit to "figure her life out"
Three weeks ago I exited the LTR of three years, and this week I decided to give the girl I worked with (B) a text. We arranged to meet up and went to the movies this past Saturday.
Things went well, conversation and laughs flew freely and I assumed that she was interested in progressing into a relationship of sorts. These suspicions were further perpetuated by her texts of "I really like you" and "we should get together more". I thought I was in the gold.
Yesterday afternoon I received a text that basically said: "hey, I need time, it's not anything to do with you." I asked if she meant in general and she replied affirmative, clarifying that she meant with "everything and everyone." I told her that I understand and that I had a good time with her, but as of right now have not heard back.
Naturally, I was confused. I thought things went well and she led me to believe she thought the same thing. After consulting the same coworker that confessed B's attractions to me about it, she told me that B had depression and that might have something to do with it.
My question is, what does this sound like to you all? Am I just a guy who couldn't get a second date? Or is there some underlying factor (like depression) that could be complicating things? For those of you with depression, is this a likely scenario? Honesty is appreciated. | Is it me or it is her? |
t3_1u4xd3 | relationships | I [24 M/F] was uncontrollably drunk and said the most vulgar and foul things to my boyfriend [30 M/F] of 1 year. What do I do now? | Last night, my boyfriend and I went out with a couple of friends for drinks. We came home and had a couple more and I became incredibly drunk. I said the meanest and most foul things to him and I even pushed his face with my hand. I was completely irrational, angry, and nasty.
1. I refused to leave
2. He was scared shitless and almost called the cops
3. I was swearing at him
4. He was scared to even be in his own home
This morning, I had no recollection of last night and I feel like a piece of shit. I feel awful and I've apologized profusely to him but I feel like there is no way I will be able to heal that emotional scar. At this point, he says he needs time away from me. What can I do at this point? How can I resolve this?
This came out of nowhere.. It is unlike me at all but I'm trying to figure out where my angry came from and where it is stemming from. I really appreciate all the comments. | In my drunken stupor, I said the nastiest things to my boyfriend :( |
t3_4izptu | relationship_advice | Girl [18/f] is perfect for me [18/m], but I don't know how to kiss her. | I am an 18 year old guy, currently at university. There is a girl [18/f] who I am in class with, who has become a really good friend of mine. In the beginning of the year, when I met her, I really just saw her as a friend because I was completely blinded by another girl who ended up being a total bitch, but slowly I have come to realise how much I like her. We are very similar and spend all our time together, both in class and out of class. I have met her whole family and one would say that we have a really serious relationship, if we were in one.
The only problem is that we are not in a relationship. I have never been in a relationship and have never kissed a girl before. She also told me that before this year she hadn't kissed anyone either. I really want to kiss her but I don't know how. Usually I have just been way too nervous to even think about it but with her I am completely relaxed and its not a problem. I just feel that its not part of my personality to do that, even though I really want to. I feel like I just cant get over the barrier of the first kiss. We have been more than just class buddies for about 2.5 months, and I met her in the beginning of February, about 4 months ago
I do not want to have to get drunk to kiss her for the first time and I wont really have a chance to do so because we are writing exams now anyway.
I really just need some help and guidance as to what to do. | There is a girl I really like, we have become good friends but I don't know how to kiss her for the first time. |
t3_2sfzsp | tifu | TIFU by crashing my brand new car. | Okay, maybe not quite so dramatic, but I'm pretty torn up about it, so I thought I'd share.
I'll start by saying I've never owned a new car. My car has been a 2001 hyundai that has no air conditioning and has issues with the exhaust. It is so loud, that when I go through a drive-thru, I have to turn it off to have them hear me. I bought it for 1400 a few years ago.
It's served me well, but when I bought it I told myself "I will buy a Honda Fit, brand new. That will be my next car"
I saved. A lot. And fixed my abysmal credit. 2014 rolled around and there was no new fits, so I kept saving and kept fixing my credit.
Yesterday though was the day. I bought a 2015 honda fit in that beautiful dark grey color with the manual transmission. I was on cloud nine. I had ac in my car, it synced with my phone, I feel like I got a decent deal, and my interest rate was 3.99 (A year ago I qualified for 15% with the same bank). I was happy.
I go home, pick up some friends, and head back to the dealer to pick up my old car (I didnt trade it in.) On the way home from the dealer some guy in a big old truck rear ends me. His car was severely messed up- the wheel was bent and his car looked bad.
My damage isn't that bad, but it'll take three weeks to fix. Fortunately, he has been found at fault and it's free for me. Maybe not a "TIFU" situation, because if I had been in my old car when this happened I may not have been okay. I am fine though and so is my passenger and the other driver and I am grateful for that. And also grateful he has insurance.
But still. Buy a brand new car and now its gone :( | Bought new car. Was hit. Not at fault. Still sad. |
t3_4jv9v8 | relationships | [Breakup? Advice]So my ex (22F) and I (24M) just started talking again... | Background: We were in a 4 year relationship that ended 5 months ago due to something I did (won't go into details). Had no contact up till this week where I told her I still have strong feelings for her. Didn't get answer I wanted to no surprise and she said she wants to be friends for now and see how that goes.
Advice I need: I don't want to push it but seeing what she said is their a chance of getting back together if I respect her boundaries and slowly show her I have changed (which I honestly think I have)
2) What are some non-romantic things to do as friends? | Ex replied wanting to be friends, is their a chance and things to do as just friends for now. |
t3_14lj7j | relationship_advice | [22/f] I met this guy [22/m] that I like but I'm not ready for a relationship. What should I do? | Well, he is also a Redditor so if he sees this.. Hi anh... (:
Anyways, I got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship 8 months ago because he lied to me often and talked to girls behind my back. I'm not sure if he cheated on me, but that is one thing I will never truly be sure of.
I actually enjoyed every minute of being single. It is more relieving not having to worry about anyone else and I was taking the time to get my stuff together and figure out a few things about myself. Then this guy comes into my life. He knows that I am not ready for a relationship and is willing to wait for me. I know I'm not ready for a relationship because all the negative feelings of jealousy and inadequacy I had towards the end of my last relationship would come up when I see a girl had messaged him or texted him. No, I am not going through his stuff, sometimes he checks his stuff when I'm sitting right next to him and I sometimes happen to glance over. I really do try not to look though.
We've known each other for a month but the connection we have is not like I have had with anyone else before. I know he is someone that I can be with but I can't do it now. I feel like if I get together with him now, I won't be able to give him all of me because of these negative emotions that I have to deal with because of my ex. It's not fair to him and it is a feeling that I would hate to put myself through again. What should I do? | I've been single 8 months and not ready to get into another relationship but I met someone amazing and don't want to lose this opportunity. PLEASE HELP ME! |
t3_3dzmiu | relationships | Why am I [24F] having slight anxiety over a guy [45?M] between him and my friend.... | I apologize in advanced if this doesn't make much sense at all.
This all started when I met this guy at a bar a few months back.
Went to a fancy bar with my friend, where you know all your older men in suits, I'm gonna assume sugar daddy's go looking for sugar babies. Well neither of this was on my agenda, other than to have a drink or two, because I couldn't even believe I let my friend bring me here. Let's fast forward to last month, I get a phone call from this older gentleman asking me to hang out with him. Now it took me a few minutes to realize who he was because that night ended in "I completely can't remember a whole lot that went down."
Speed up till now, we have been texting here & there, he's a super chill dude. Hang out a couple times. I got a great vibe from him, he seems to just enjoy life. Now we do have a huge age gap, but you always meet people from all walks of life;Last night, I bring my friend to his place. We've all been drinking for a few hours, but my buzz starts to die down, and I'm getting very, very sleepy at this point. I tell them I am going to lay down. They're all okay with it and go hang out in backyard. Now, my mind starts to over think certain things and I am just, what if they did this, they did that blah blah because I guess I kind of felt like a little left alone because I went to lay down (I know I said I wanted too).
I haven't really heard from him today too nor my friend and I said something to her, thinking I would get a response back ... but to me, it just seems like something is off. Am I just being silly? | Not sure what to think of my friend and this guy bc neither of them have said much to me today. |
t3_2vom8o | relationships | I [24F] am moving in with my boyfriend [24M], but we haven't said "I love you" yet | My boyfriend I have have been officially dating for about 4 1/2 months, but together casually for 9 months. We have a great relationship and we spend every night together so we decided to move in together when our leases end (April). We talked for about it for a long time and took time on our own to think about it and then talked again (repeat about three times) before we came to this decision and we're both sure this is what we want to do. The only thing is neither of us has told the other we love them.
I know we do love each other, but he hasn't said it and I don't want to say it to him first because I want to know that he reached that point all on his own and not just because I said it if that makes any sense. He also told me that one of his previous girlfriends said it too soon for him so I don't want to do the same thing. Is it weird that we decided to move in together before we've said those words? | moving in with boyfriend but we haven't said "I love you" yet |
t3_23sr9m | offmychest | I'm also alive today | This post reminded me of my experience:
Anyways, about a year ago my uncle gave me his old motor scooter.Tiny thing, might as well be on a pedal bike that can hit 40 mph. Anyways, I'm driving down one of the busy streets crossing one of 2 main streets running through my University. I was slowing down at the intersection because the light was red, but before I stopped, it turned green. Of course I accelerated, not thinking anything of it. It was cooler day, and my left hand was holding my hood tight so it wouldn't blow back.
I approached the now green-lit intersection, only to get a quarter of the way through it to hear a mini van honk at me. Of course I'm startled, doubly so since the freakin' thing is about to either hit me, or I was going to hit it. I swerved around the van and slid up on the seat a bit and hit my ribs on the handlebars. I looked back and realized the van either tried to beat the yellow light, or just wasn't paying attention. I was either going to be t-boned, or hit the side of the van, and flip over the hood. As bad as it is, I don't wear a helmet. I was so shaken up, realizing I likely would have smashed my head in to the pavement. Scary thought of what would have happened to me. | I almost got hit by a mini van on my moped, serious trauma may have ensued. Could have died? IF YOU'RE ON THE ROAD, PAY ATTENTION! |
t3_10386y | AskReddit | Good guy girl troubles | Reddit, I am currently in a predicament. A girl in my major (and every class with me until I graduate) has taken quite an interest in me since last spring semester. She wont leave me alone. The problem is, she is a really nice girl, but I'm not interested in her at all. We have many mutual friends so it's not like I can just disappear entirely. I am constantly bombarded via texts, facebook messages, invites to do this, invites to do that, and I have finally decided enough is enough. I am worried she is going to do something stupid, like confess her love for me. Its already getting worse. For our one class, I had told her I wasn't going to buy the book because it was around 180 dollars and the class was only 2 credits. Later that week we meet up to study and she says she accidentally bought two books and that I could have the second. How do I let her know I have no romantic interest in her without actually saying anything of the like. | how does a nice guy subtly friend-zone an overly friendly, romantically interested girl he will have to see everyday for the next year? |
t3_i3ao8 | AskReddit | friend stole a few grand worth of electronics. also, i have his cat. what do? | so, there's this (ex)friend of mine who i'm watching his cat. we've been pretty tight the last year or so, and i've known the guy for 7 or so years. he'd walk our (my partner's and my) dog every once in a while, so we gave him a copy of the key (hindsight's a bitch).
anyway, two days ago, we were robbed. he stole:
* 55" flat screen tv
* | buddy stole few grand worth of shit. i have his cat. anyone want one? |
t3_3jbt2o | relationships | My [50f]mother went on a tirade against a [20f]close friend/roommate accusing her of neglecting and abandoning her cat . And refuses to acknowledge how rudely she went about it. | So a close friend of mine we will call K used to live a house or two down from my mother. Her family still lives there but she moved out. K also has a 14 year old outdoor/indoor cat. Now this cat loves affection and will generally come to see anybody who wanders by. It also likes begging for food, even though it's well fed at home.
So this, coupled with k coming from a somewhat dysfunctional family, leads my mother to believe that the cat is being neglected.
Now, k moved out a few years ago to the city which is 400km away. And is now rooming with me.
She left the cat there. Half because it's a family cat, and half because most apartments she's lived in don't allow pets.
Now, recently. The cat has become sick and somehow K's family didn't notice. Be it because they thought the symptoms were because of age or being an outdoor cat, Or maybe it's just that K's family is actually being stupid/neglectful and not letting K know her cat was sick.
Now, my mother. Being a cat owner and being generally vigilant. Noticed this cat was very very sick.
And messaged me to let K know her cat was sick. Immediately after which she started calling the bylaw officer and asking online for the number to the pound. (It's a no kill pound)
And when K messaged her to ask her to stop and not call the pound so that she could figure out what to do, my mother accused her of neglecting and abandoning this poor cat. When K was not even aware of it being sick.
K then immediately got a hold of her family and set up an appointment at the vet.
Now. I don't disagree with my mothers intentions. The cat clearly needed help. But there was a better, more diplomatic method of achieving that than calling the pound when the cats owner lives with her son.
And it pisses me off that she refuses to acknowledge how rude and insensitive she was in doing this. | friends cat got sick, Mother went on a moral crusade calling the pound over it and can't see why myself and others would be upset with her over it. |
t3_48ifz0 | relationships | Me [26 M/F] with my Significant Other [27 M/F] 6 years - 1 living together, how do I break it to them that the reason they are always upset about work is that they are incompetent | Jo and I have been together since university. We lived apart, but in the same city, during our studies and then once I'd got my PhD I left our university city to work. Jo joined me after about 18 months (about 11 months ago) when Jo got a job that was the next step up on the ladder and into senior management
It turns out that Jo really wasn't ready to move into senior management, every month since September we have had one work crisis after another. People not respecting the role, people going to management without talking first, management not paying enough attention to the department's issues. It's been one thing after another with the only constant being it is never Jo's fault.
We never had any of this over the past 5 years while Jo was just doing a technical role but now its management its all too much.
I do my best to be supportive but Jo continually comes up with new reasons blame everyone else rather than admit the management bit of the job is too much.
We have talked about it but I;ve always been supportive, without taking Jo's side exclusively and we've explored with the company taking a less management role but that comes with a significant pay cut (below what Jo was paid in the last job) and it just doesn't fly. Plus Jo really doesn't want to admit that the role is too much or too big.
I've been as tactful as I can be, I've paid for Jo to see a career counsellor, and now am at the point of needing to be blunt but don;t know how to do it. Throughout the past six months, I've been as balanced as I can be without out and out saying to Jo that "in my opinion it's your fault, not theirs" but feel it's coming to the point I have to now.
How do I bring it up and how do you tell your partner that they really aren't up to the job they are in and its time to move on or back downwards? | SO is crap at their job, how do I tell them to move on. |
t3_3jd1x9 | relationships | We [21 M][18 F] been dating pretty frecuently for two months. She told me her ex started texting her, so she is 'confused' | Disclaimer: English isn't my first language, i'll try my best.
I been dating with this girl for two months, seeing her 2/3 times a week. I'm into her and she is into me, but yesterday she told me her ex started texting her and she is 'confused'. Haven't see her again yet.
I don't know if it's bullshit, but atm i just said that i like her, and if i could do something to stick together with her let me know. She replied that she need time to think (seems ok) and want to keep texting me, that she's sorry and sad for this.
I asked if we could talk this personally but she's ashamed and refused afterwards.
I'm asking for help because i don't know if i should remain in silence giving her time or should keep texting.
One part of me want to convince her to stick with me and not with her ex, but the other part knows that she need to take that decision alone.
I'm feeling pretty sad because i didnt expect this, everything was so nice between us, both relationship and sex. And i really dont want to lose her. :(
It's my first post here so i dont know if i'm missing something. | Every seems ok until her ex started texting her, I dont want to lose her. |
t3_2g6eix | relationships | Me [28F] with my sister in law [28F], I want to be friends with her but not her brother. Help? | Ok this is going to make me sound like a horrible person (sorry in advance). So I got married and I love my new in-laws (parents and sister) but the brother in law is verbally abusive, rude, and just a horrible person to be around. He's also very judgmental and will verbally attack people with whatever their insecurities are. I have pretty bad anxiety/depression that is under control with being around supportive loving people but I can't be myself around this guy at all. I want to get to know my sister in law more and go on trips with her with mutual friends since we're all the same age but I don't want to be around her brother at all.
Anyone deal with something like this before or is it the 'marry into the family have to deal with it' type of thing? | I love my new sister in law and want to do things with her but not her brother. Am I obligated to invite him on trips? |
t3_3c0k5h | relationships | Me [25 F] and my boyfriend [27 M] of about 15 months, | so yesterday we were getting along really well. We were driving to the mall when he flicked my ankle, messing around. I said to him "don't do that again," and left my ankle where it was, because I shouldn't have to move it; he eventually did it again, but it was super light. Barely anything. Still, such a "little brother" type move. I then got pretty annoyed, and I don't remember what was said exactly, but he eventually said that sometimes I'm boring, and that made it even worse.
He got annoyed that I was upset over something he thought was so small, and said that he was flirting.
Then with me having the overthinking brain that I do, it started to go into overdrive. I didn't even want to go into the taco place we were going to to order any food. I thought "I shouldn't be groveling for forgiveness from him when he did something that annoyed me," but then "maybe I did overreact a bit," but then "he said I was boring sometimes though"..it just keeps going on and on like that. Idk what to think anymore.
Am I overreacting? | wondering if I'm overreacting to a situation my bf and I had last night |
t3_2iydo9 | tifu | TIFU Gluttony and the Porcelain throne | This is happening now.
I absolutely adore dairy products. Cheese, butter, cream; you get the idea.
I am highly lactose intolerant.
Basically, decided to treat myself to a nice albeit fancy dinner. Roast potatoes with heavy cream, chicken cordon bleu mozzarella and gruyère, custard for dessert. The whole shebang.
After a few mouthfuls of creamed potatoes I feel the gates of sauron's eye creaking. Clenching it (lactose intolerant people have amazing butt clenching abilities) tight, I soldier on.
As I began on my custard, **sploosh**
Brown river flows.
Grabbing at my leaky bum with custard in my mouth, I had to forcibly plug my bum (stick my finger up my arse) to stop the semi chunky flood.
3 hours later, I'm still on the can. Its been leaking out of me on and off.
Sooner or later, I'd probably get hemorrhoids or pass out. | Glutton gets leaky arse and wins the porcelain throne. |
t3_136p1q | dating_advice | [23/M, 24/F] How to progress the 'relationship'? New territory for me than I'm used to. | So, I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I recently started seeing this girl and this is the first time I've ever met and started dating someone that I had no prior knowledge of e.g. Past relationships have always started as class mates, friends of several months etc. This girl and I, met in a bar a few weeks ago after a house party, we've already gone on several dates and really connected on the first date. She's come over and we've made out twice at my place and I got into her pants the 2nd time(but didn't go all the way).
Now this isn't my first rodeo by any means, but I rarely get anxious like this with women I've met like this. When I end up dating other people I know by the first week/date/30 minutes of talking to them whether I want to have anything to do with them ever again past the initial encounter, whether it was online dating or meeting at a bar/house party.
To put simply, I'm really interested in her and I take it she's interested in me based on how things are going(my friend's told me she lit up the first night we met), everything has been going smoothly/naturally as far as I know. I'm still worried about coming on too strong/needy/screwing things up if I try to bring up "where this is going" talk as far as this situation is concerned, we've been seeing each other about 3 weeks and have more plans for the future. I don't want to hesitate on this too long and miss an opportunity either by keeping things in the casual dating territory. | How do I progress from this casual dating situation to a more "defined" relationship with someone I have less experience with than I'm used to? Is there an ideal time frame to wait/anything I should do before I bring it up? |
t3_2iaz03 | relationships | 18M me 18F her She says she really likes me but isn't looking for a relationship? | This girl and I have been friends for a year but over the summer we've gotten a lot closer. We've went on 3 dates so far (since the summer) and yesterday I told her I liked her. She said she liked me too but she doesn't want anything right now because she just got out of a relationship over the summer and is still trying to get over her ex. She also said that since she'll be going away to another country next semester, she doesn't want to start anything now. Before leaving she told me that she has so much fun when she's with me. What do I do? Is she making excuses to not be with me? | this girl said she likes me but isn't looking for anything right now |
t3_2ugytp | relationships | Me [20M] with my (now-ex) girlfriend [20F] of 2 years, she just broke up with me. | Long story short, due to problems in our relationship that resulted in a breakup one year ago, her parents began to hate me. We rebuilt the relationship nearly immediately, and all was well, but they kept planting seeds of doubt. They told her I hadn't changed (though she wouldn't tell them that I had gotten medication and treatment), and that this wouldn't last.
She is from a very controlling family, who have been doing this to her for her entire life. They control every aspect of it, including what clubs she participates in, where she applies for research, whether or not she's doing enough in school etc. She is too afraid to challenge them, and so she didn't.
This last December we were great. Then we went on a month long winter holiday. Every chance she got to text me (she can't text me around her parents) she told me things would be fine when she got back. She shared date ideas, some sexual hints, and assured me we'd pick things up again just as they were.
She got back today. Through tears and final kisses, she broke up with me. She said she had hope, but lost it. And then she left. There are many painful details about our last hour together that hurt too much to even type. But it happened, and I'm in shock.
I'm empty, and I feel horrible. I'm moving universities (for mostly unrelated reasons but this sealed the case shut), but I need to last through this semester. I'm at a really difficult university, and I just need some kind words right now. I don't need advice to seek counseling, so please spare me that. | I feel like shit after a breakup. This breakup came at the hands of my SO's parents, for the most part, and it kills me that I couldn't do enough to salvage the relationship. Please share some kind words. |
t3_1voon6 | self | Weird fits of excitement leave me twitching... what is going on? | Whenever I become excited for whatever reason, or listen to good music, or are stuck in a daydream, I will trail off into these fits that only last a few seconds. I sometimes just stare off into the distance, or will occasionally twitch my fingers rapidly, or click my tongue repeatedly. I can usually catch myself in the middle of one and will stop. It can be embarrassing when someone catches me in one. Only people I know really well know I have them and besides these fits I'm a completely normal dude. I am just scared one day I will fall into one at the worst time, such as driving, or in front of someone I want to impress.
Some people have told me it may be Absence Seizures. I have read that during a Absence Seizure one cannot simply snap themselves out of it as I can. I guess I'm asking if anyone else has a similar issue, and if it is worth seeking a doctor. My mother was not a big believer in drugs and figured anything a doctor would give me would just "numb my brain" so I have never seen a professional. I have learned to cope with it and am just curious what others have to say I guess. | I believe I have absence seizures, but I can "snap myself out of them" so is it really an absence seizure? Can this be defined, or treated, or coped with in anyway? |
t3_2nbbvh | dogs | smoking around dogs | my dad just got a little poodle and she has been part of the family since. Now although it's his dog, I absolutely hate how apathetic he is about everything. For instance, he smokes right next to her and I tears me apart because I know it'll have a negative affect on the dogs lifespan.
No matter how many articles or studies I show him about animal health, he persists in convincing me that she(the dog) can withstand sniffing dust, so smoking wouldn't harm her. He's really good at coming up with BS logic. When she was diarrhea, he even had the nerve to say that she was drinking too much water so he would fast her from water for days just so her poop would "solidify"
I personally got asthma from my father when I was young from secondhand smoke and I was once in a coma. At the time he was worried, but he doesn't seem to have any guilt about it. For instance, I can't really run long distance miles these days without bringing an inhaler.
How the f*ck do you deal with lazy, apathetic, hardheaded fathers who don't give a damn about anything. So frustrated.. I don't even know... | worried about puppy's health from second hand smoke |
t3_38x9vp | relationships | Me [30/m] with my fiancee [30/F] says I disrespected her, shutting down | Hey Guys. Short story here.
Been together for almost 4 years now. And last week I said something she took as disrespectful. I told her "you dont listen to me" out of anger and she took it as I was trying to control her and she told me she felt disrespected. This was early last week and since then she has been extremely distant. We went for a walk outside and she would talk to me, but not much. She told me today that she does not feel like cuddling or anything like that. I have told her I would hope she would be honest if she knew if this a deal breaker in the relationship and she said "why wouldnt I?" so I dropped it.
I also moved across the country from my place of origin to be with her (we live together) and I dont know if she really wants to be in this anymore and may be afraid of what I would have to go through to get my life back together. She has NEVER been like this in the relationship. We have had arguments and we have maybe gone a day without talking, but nothing this long and this extreme. I am not worried about her seeing or talking to anyone else, she is extremely loyal and honest. I do want this relationship to work and will do whatever I have to in order to move past this, but I dont know if she is willing to make the same sacrifice. | Disrespected my fiancee, now has been a week of short answers, evasive conversations, and no physical interaction. Unsure of how to proceed |
t3_2647vd | personalfinance | Question about combining finances and debt upon marriage (re: one person paying off the other's loans) | My SO and I have been together for some time and in the relatively near future we'll be engaged and, presumably, not long after that married. We're both rather financially responsible people, with good understanding of money, debt, interest, etc. and have similar views/habits when it comes to money, saving, and spending.
A while back my SO made a comment that she'd highly consider paying of the remainder of my student loans (roughly $40k now, probably closer to $30k by the time we'd be married w/ an avg interest rate of about 6%). We both understand the benefits of paying off the debt ASAP, but I have very mixed feelings about this (her mother is very against it, but SO said it doesn't matter if it's what's best for us).
She has the money to do so, but it would wipe out the majority of her savings. While I do have savings, they're currently aimed towards a) a reasonable ring, b) a small down payment (what I can put towards that), and c) a very healthy emergency fund (thanks /r/personalfinance). Now, with loans payed off I could rather easily start putting the $600+/mo that was going to ring savings and loan payments directly towards other savings goals.
Yes, we'd like a downpayment to buy a place eventually, but we both have good jobs and could save aggressively and do this relatively quickly (just a counter argument to what else we could use that money for, but maybe I'm looking at this wrong).
My reservations come from the fact that I feel that my debt is my responsibility even if we're married and have combined the majority of our finances. I also take a lot of pride in the fact that I paid for my education, and now I'm gainfully employed to the point where I'll be able to pay off my loans. Having her contribute her savings a) diminishes that and b) takes away the pride she might feel in using her hard earned money (in my mind at least).
So, ultimately, I'm curious what others have done, am I looking at this correctly, and is there anything else we should be considering? | SO has offered to pay off student debt upon marriage, I'm uneasy about it and looking to gain perspective. |
t3_3ty3xl | relationships | Me [18 M] have been best friends with a dude i went to school with since 11 years old, a series of to and forth back stabs have completely torn relations to shreds. | i haven't spoke to a friend of mine for coming on 6 months now because long story short; He back-stabbed me with things regarding my evil-controlling ex and bitching etc. so i fingered his ex-girlfriend who i think he still had feelings for at the time.
Now everything is a great big shit sand-which, i regret everything i did no matter what he did and i hate that i can no longer speak to a guy i knew since i was 11.
He is stubborn as a rock and i believe he is back in a relationship with the fingered ex. where do i start? | he back-stabbed me, i went in way harder in retaliation, now everything's fucked and i want my friend back. |
t3_2w7dan | Advice | DMV issued ID help! | Long story short, Im going on a cruise I applied for a passport but since my mothers maiden name was still on my birth certificate US department of state has ask for additional documents which are going to take me longer to get then the time I actually have. (I have two birth certs one that says Techguy404 A (Mothers maiden name) and one that says Techguy404 A,B (with fathers last name but was sent off to the passport people and dont physically have))
I currently have my original birth certificate with my full name with the last name my mothers maiden name on it before it was changed over to my fathers. Now In order to board my cruise I need to show them a birth certificate and a DMV issued ID.
Now Im asking what does the DMV need to provide me with an identification card? I have a birth cert, obviously I cant give them my drivers license as the last names dont match (Drivers license has fathers last name, birth cert has mothers maiden name) The dream is I walk in show them my birth cert ask for an ID card and they just make it. If they need any other documentation showing I am the person on my birth cert I dont have it as thats my mothers maiden name on there. (Just to clarify I just want an identification card not a new drives license.)
Are they even going to ask for additional information or is my birth certificate good enough? | I was born with my mothers maiden name Techguy404 A and was given a birth cert to show that. My parents later get Married and my name got changed to Techguy404 B but the new birth cert has full name as Techguy404 A,B so when sending out for a passport for Techguy404 B they denied me saying my birth cert did not match my drivers license because it still had my mothers maiden name (A), I have sent off for a new updated copy of my birth cert but thats going to take 4-6 weeks. My Cruise is in 5 weeks and all I need is a DMV issued ID card that says Techguy404 A which matches my original birth cert just so I can board the cruise but im worried the DMV wont give it to me since in the system my SSN is listed to Techguy404 B. |
t3_ype5z | relationships | Long term "girlfriend" [19] mad at me [19] for sexting with other girl. | I'll give you some context first; I'll try to do so as compacted as possible.
After I broke up with my previous girlfriend, I stayed friends with her older sister. This grew into a de facto relationship. However, she never wanted to upgrade it to an official "girlfriend-boyfriend" relationship, because she didn't want to hurt her little sister- (and my ex)'s feelings.
This has been going on for a couple of months, and we are in love with eachother. However, her saying she doesn't want to make what we have into an "official" relationship means to me that she doesn't want to make it mutually exclusive.
So it happened that a few days ago I started to flirtateously sending facebook messages to a long term FWB, very very explicit messages at that. Now my "girlfriend" has read these, and she's super angry and claims to not even want to remain friends anymore.
Am I unreasonable for interpreting what she has been saying as a rejection of a mutually exclusive relationship? Am I in the wrong for pursuing other women? I understand her anger, as I would also find it devestating if she fucked any other men. But then why would she say she doesn't want a relationship?
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. | > *long term unofficial relationship with ex's big sister turns sour after she found out I had sexted another girl. Not sure if I'm in wrong.* |
t3_m8ont | AskReddit | I am in love with a girl outside of my religion, my parents do not approve . HELP! | I am a 23 year old guy and Reformed Jewish, my girlfriend is 2 months older than me and Catholic but neither of us are terribly terribly religious. We har been dating for over a year now. My parents always had this fantasy that I'd start this life with another Jewish woman and raise kids laddy dady da. My girlfriend and I both agreed that if and when we got married we'd let our kids decide whether or not they wanted to celebrate either holiday and all celebrate as a family. How do I deal with my family accepting that despite religious differences she is an amazing person and really cares for me? I'd hate to loose her over something so trivial to us, but I'd hate to disappoint my family by something so important to them? Help? | Gf Catholic, me Jewish my family doesn't like. I want them too. Help. |
t3_2yhrjf | relationships | Please, someone tell me how to not make a such a big deal out of things. [F19] with [M20] of 1+ year | I'm hoping it's not too late.
My boyfriend and I have been getting into lots of arguments lately, mostly me having a problem or getting a little upset with something that happened or he had done. I try to bring it up in the most constructive and communicatively effective manner, but it always turns into a bug deal where he gets defensive and I end up having to justify the things I'm feeling/why. He says how I'm "constantly nagging".In the last few, though, I'll admit to them having been pretty dumb, which I realize, and always apologize for. The stress and having the argument he describes to having ruined his day or bringing him way down. Understandable, but not my intentions by any means.
Last night I tried talking to him after being awake for more than 30 hours at an amazing dance marathon charity event hosted by my university. This event really changed my perspective and has affected my life, it's somethinng that I'm now truly passionate about and wanted to share with him immediately after I returned home. I got through about 5 minutes and he just jumped in and proceeded to spend the next hour talking about his weekend. I was a little bummed that when he was finished and I started to talk more about it, he said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. Okay. I was really really bummed and brought it up this morning and apparently it's turned into this big thing. I've since realized how petty of an issue it is to argue over but I don't know how to alleviate the situation without forfeitting any right to be mildly upset. An apology doesn't seem to cut it because of the stress put through in the mean time.
When we spoke earlier, he was saying how he "wasn't sure if he had the patience anymore", "wasn't sure if it's still worth it", and "you make me want to be alone".
I won't get to talk to him again for a few hours but I'm fearing the worst. Please, help. | Even writing this I realize how stupid it all is and how stupid I am. I get mildly upset over trivial things, nag my boyfriend, he seems fed up with it. How can I stop, if it's not too late? |
t3_4o8c8z | personalfinance | Gutting Emergency Fund for a new Home | Hello everyone. I'm looking for some guidance here, as I seem to be able to argue myself towards either side of the isle depending on the time of day I look at this.
Currently, I'm the head of a financially stable family of 3 that takes great comfort in where we're at. We're not rich by any means, especially given the area we live in, but we save aggressively towards retirement and can afford a decent lifestyle with a solid budget I've built. While more would always help, I quite like where we're at.
Financially, that is. I really can't stand our house. There's nothing wrong with it exactly, but the style of home and the plot it is on isn't for me. We got a great deal on it and its neighborhood in the housing crash in 09, and it has some decent equity in it, given that short time frame.
We've found a HUD home we really adore, but it just hit the market 10s of thousands more than it was originally hinted at. Not ideal, but we can qualify for this mortgage ontop of the existing one and, assuming the first house sells in a timely manner, can handle the new mortgage with some small (if any) adjustments to the budget.
The problem is primarily the upfront cost. First is the downpayment, 3.5% I'm told for FHA, and there's up to 5k needed for escrow in regards to repairs. Those two figures alone would drain my emergency fund. I'd still have to source closing costs as well, assuming they weren't rolled into the mortgage or paid by the seller, but I have a few options there I believe.
This sunk fund *ideally* will be fully funded again (with some excess) once the current house sells. I'm no realtor, but the pickings in this area are slim (nice area overall) and the realtors we've talked to seem to believe that moving this house wouldn't be too much of an issue. I've plotted a worst case scenario budget if we had to float both mortgages, but it would come at the cost of a good chunk of retirement savings while we tread water. | We don't much care for our current home, found a great deal on a new home that will stretch us thin, ideally for a short period of time, which would require gutting our EF to get the ball rolling on the sale. EF would be completely re-funded when the old house sold (unless we take a major hit on price I suppose). I take great pride in being financially sound and constantly growing our networth, but I imagine there's a value to being happy in your home, which we really aren't. |
t3_1t33q3 | relationships | GF[25] not sure if Facebook comment/joke is something I can mention to my BF[24]. Together 2 years | My boyfriend is going to a friend's stag party in the new year. I don't know the friend but I know he's a nice guy with a kid who is about to be married.
The event on Facebook is public so although I'm not "friends" with the event maker when my boyfriend commented it showed on my newsfeed. This means it will show in our mutual friends newsfeed which include his mother, my friends etc.
My boyfriends comment was "Could you resend the strippers phone number I lost it"...the friend responds "There will be no strippers" and my boyfriend then says "What about female nudists then?". This comment didn't get a response.
I know my boyfriend is joking but I felt really embarrassed reading that. I also know he didn't realise it would be something that would be shared with me. Am I being really stupid? Is this something I could mention to him or is it really not worth mentioning?
Thank you | silly Facebook comment, not sure if it's something I should feel uncomfortable with |
t3_3qtl09 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my possible girlfriend or more [35 F] of 6 weeks, just wondering if I should move forward with this | I met this girl on an online dating site and she lives about 2 hours away. We've been together I think 4-5 times now (on the weekends) and sorta hit it off from the start.
I really like her strength, our sexual chemistry, how smart she is, her disposition.
However, throughout these past weeks we always seem to be getting along great when we are together, can't keep our hands off each other, and then in the beginning of the week we will text and it is usually about us possibly becoming closer. Then later in the week I don't know if it is cold feet or what, but she changes her attitude and I get a message that says 'this is too much, I like my time to myself, you should find another girl/we should end this'.
This has happened literally every week before seeing each other. After either texting for a bit or me just accepting it, she changes her mind and says she wants to see me again. This is really throwing me for a loop and this last time I've told myself no, no more. The problem is I really think there is potential there.
When I asked exactly what she thinks, she said she has been alone for several years so she is used to not dating, and that I am less socially active than the guys she has liked in the past (I am reasonably socially active). Another thing is she has never driven to me, I have driven to her every time even though the last time she said she would come.
So here I am this morning, with her changing her mind once again and then flip-flopping and saying she wants to see me but that I should drive to her. Am I just setting myself up for pain by getting involved with this woman? What should I do? | Woman acts like she likes me when we are together on weekends, then changes mind during the week and says I should look for other women. Before the weekend, she flip-flops again and says she wants to see me. I do like her, but am I setting myself up for a train wreck by getting involved? |
t3_1eax21 | relationships | How can I [32F] stop being angry [31M] | My partner of 5 years accused me falsely of putting our dog in danger. At no time was the dog in danger. At no time was I in danger. But he was drunk and didn't care to listen.
We both drink. Honestly, we're alcoholics. Functional, but alcoholics. When he drinks, he tears into me for any number of imagined sins. When I drink, I tear into him for real sins. But according to him I'm the only one with a problem, not him. So in his mind it's ok for him to drink, but not ok for me to.
How do I stop being angry about the double standard? We can't even live together because he will not be around me when I'm drunk and I can't stand him drunk. I just can't get over the fact that he feels it'd fine for him to drink, but not me. | My boyfriend holds a double standard. How can I stop being angry? |
t3_54y3o6 | relationships | My [20M] friend's [21M] girlfriend [21F] broke up with him and she won't let him move on. Wondering how I can help. | A friend of mine and his girlfriend moved in together last year after they had been dating for about 7 months. They lived at their first place for a year and then they decided to rent at a bigger place. They co-signed a lease at the end of May and in the middle of June she told him that he wasn't fun anymore and that twenties are when you're supposed to have fun, so she wants to be single. A couple weeks after they broke up, she started dating a new guy and this is where the predicament comes in
They just signed a lease that will last a year, but she doesn't want to move out and he doesn't want to take the credit hit for moving out. So far it seems as if they're able to live somewhat harmoniously, but it seems like he's taking it really hard and is unable to really move on, since she still lives there.
I was wondering if you could give any advice for him.
Any comments would be appreciated. | Girlfriend broke up with my friend after they signed a lease together, trying to figure out what he can do. |
t3_48i6gi | relationships | Friend's [18/M] ex-girlfriend [17/F] is coming onto me, is it acceptable to hook up with her? | Hi /r/relationships
About a month ago, I split up with my girlfriend [17/F] of 18 months. We are still on good terms and have both handled the breakup well. However, since this, I have found myself talking a lot more to this girl, who happens to be the ex girlfriend of a friend of mine. They have been split up for 5 months after a 2 year relationship. They are on good terms, and I think they have both moved on.
She is attractive, and very good fun to be around. She is coming onto me fairly strongly; she is dropping a lot of hints about sex, and has generally shown lots of interest. I would love to hook up with her, but I don't want to be a dick to my friend. I don't want to pursue a relationship, but would hooking up with her violate the "bro code"? | Friend's ex girlfriend showing interest, would hooking up with her be acceptable? |
t3_3o1qgz | relationships | [24f] want to leave my SO but worried about the logistics. Need advice and recommendations | I have been very unhappy within our relationship for a long time. Several issues, mainly controlling behaviour. I have lost many friends, hobbies etc. and want to be my own person again. We live together and have for several years. We have always had periods of extreme unhappiness, but he always talks me into staying and 'working on it' (I think because we've been together for so long). We fight constantly, and right now I just feel like I'm living a lie trying to feign happiness.
All that said, we live together, and are only half way through our 1 year lease. We have all our stuff together. We have pets together. Neither of us would have money for down payments on new places. I don't know if I can last longer without saying I want to leave, but I also don't want to say anything right now and and have to stay in a passive-aggressive, extremely uncomfortable living situation until the lease is up. | feel trapped in an unhappy relationship. No longer want to try to make it work. |
t3_2itm8r | relationships | Me [25 F] with my 2 month GF [23 F], friends, boundaries, expectations? | I wrote [this] but things ended up taking a different turn. We talked about it and decided it was more important to trust each other than make rules, and we agreed and liked that idea but then somehow we came to the agreement that we were not going to hang out with just one person of the opposite sex alone. Groups are okay, same sex is okay, but not an alone person.
Personally I think this rule is a bit silly. While of course I don't want her to be hanging out with some hot guy alone all night, I trust her not to do anything, and I would hope she would do the same with me. But at the same time, I don't want her hanging out with sexy guys alone either, lol! And on top of that, my GF is bisexual, so would that mean that she can't hang out with anyone alone, lmao? The whole reason this came up is because there is a girl at my work that I became friends with (who is attractive) has been hitting me up sometimes to hang out. My GF doesn't want this single attractive woman to hang out with me by myself, but that would mean she can't hang out with her guy friend from work who has a GF too, right? | I don't know what to think because this "rule" works in both our favors but at the same time is pretty silly. |
t3_34hbzj | relationships | My [21 M] ex boyfriend (since October) messaged me [20 F] for 'casual sex' tonight | So like the title suggests I broke up with my ex in October (we were together about 6 months), and until last saturday I was single. I started chatting to a sweet, shy guy last saturday (he admitted he had social anxiety so I'm trying not to push anything beyond his comfort zone) and we've been messaging since then.
I went out with some uni friends tonight and my ex messages me out of the blue (we haven't been in contact since we broke up) asking for 'casual sex', naturally my instinct was to tell him to fuck off and delete my number, which I did. However his proposal has ruined my night as he thinks he can just have me back and that sex doesn't mean anything after all this time.
Although I rejected his offer I couldn't help crying and I guess I just need someone to talk to because it's 4.40 a.m here in England, my friends are asleep and I can't talk to the new guy because he already feels anxious enough and I don't want him to feel like he has any unnecessary competition. I'm not 100% sure this is the right sub but I'm hurting right now and just need to chat. | My ex wanted to fuck, I've met someone new and refused my ex but I really hurt right now and don't want to worry the new guy. |
t3_1e2qsu | relationships | Need help expressing myself to my gf [21] | The biggest issue my girlfriend [20] has with our relationship is that she doesn't feel much of an emotional attachment. She describes it as an empty feeling, which is what i should be filling in as a boyfriend. (dating for 2-3 months). I'm 21, she's 20
She wants to get to know me, but I don't know how i can let her in. I tried talking to her a lot about my biggest personal problem (anxiety disorder, how this has affected a large part of me) but it usually ends of going no where because of two reasons: there isn't much to say, i talk about my weird habits and that's kinda it, and because i talk like a fucking idiot sometimes and cannot correctly conceptualize my thoughts and feelings into words.
She's tired of not getting anything out of this relationship and i'm tired of not being able to communicate properly. She's the one person i feel comfortable talking to about certain things, but whenever we try to talk we usually end of arguing over little stupid shit. | How can i learn to communicate properly with my girlfriend, and how can i help her feel emotionally invested? |
t3_2ruv12 | relationships | I [19/m] am going on first date with friend [20/f] I've known for 2 months. Should I hug or kiss her? | I've been hanging out with this beautiful girl at my work. We both have a lot of interests and hung out a bunch (concert, movies, golfing). Last week I asked her if she would like to officially go on a date with me and she said yes so now we are going to an Italian restaurant. This is my first real date with a girl so I have no clue what is expected.
I already know this girl a lot so I was wondering, at the end should I hug her or kiss her on te cheek? I don't want to take it too fast especially if she doesn't want to either and I don't want to make it awkward. She's a respectable girl and not slutty in the slightest way so I am thinking of a hug right before I drop her back home. Opinions? Thanks! | Hug or kiss a friend you like on first date? |
t3_36gy7j | relationships | Me [17 M] with my friend [17 F] i've had a crush on for 4 years is single. What do I do?? | I've had a crush on this girl since 8th grade, so about 4 years, almost 5. And for 2 out of those four years, she's been together with this other guy and they recently broke up. We've had are issues as friend but randomly she texted me saying she needed friend to talk to because her and her now ex bf broke up and that i was the first person she thought of.
This threw me off guard because we haven't talked in almost a month. I tried not ever thinking about as more than just a friend but it never works. And this flooded my mind with thoughts and stuff about why I like her. I was texting her all throughout school trying to help her get through it as best and as calm as possible because I like her and I hate seeing her hurt.
She keeps telling me she loves him so much and that she can't lose him and all that stuff. It doesn't hurt me to hear her say that, but I feel like i'd never get the chance to date her. I am also trying to give her comfort that maybe that guy will come back to her when in reality the way he turned her down to get back together was messed imo, but i don't want to hurt her feelings and sound rude.
I really want to at least get one chance with dating her because i do really like her but im not even sure she likes me back, or anymore that is. Do i keep trying to help her and comfort her with her ex..or do i try to get closer and closer to her..? I really don't know what to do. | Crush broke up with her bf and dont know whether or not to get closer to her or help her out |
t3_smzmm | AskReddit | Looking back, Reddit, what was the most ridiculous/offensive rule at your high school? I'll start. | At my school, prom tickets were only sold in pairs. This meant that if you couldn't find yourself a date, you weren't allowed to go. This became a major bummer for girls who really wanted to get all dressed up and dance, yet never got asked.
You may now be thinking to yourself, "Why don't the groups of girls divide themselves up into pairs and all go together?" Not allowed. The school requires that prom tickets must to sold to **heterosexual couples**. Two girls may go together, but only after parents signed a form **acknowledging that the girls are lesbians.**
Two guys cannot go together at all.
According to my mother, this is still going on, and every year less people attend prom. | My school's homophobia ruins prom for everyone. |
t3_1lrj7s | pettyrevenge | Impatient customer | The Setup
I work in the produce department of a grocery store. In our department we have a large selection of ready to eat items, including several varieties of lettuce salads (chef, cobb, caesar, etc.); we normally only have a single size available, but larger stores often have the family size on hand. As a salad of this type is extremely time sensitive, we make all of them fresh daily in the morning, usually having a full case around 11 AM for the lunch rush.
The Plot
Yesterday at noon (you know, when the person who normally makes the salads has gone to lunch) I was called over to the kitchen area. It was here that I encountered the eponymous title character. She seemed so regular: mid 70s, average height, overweight, smiling, a real "Oh my goodness, have a muffin" everybody's grandmother type. The gal in the kitchen asks for her if we can make her a larger salad, a request to which I of course accede. When asked how long it would take, I reply with "about 10 minutes", completely forgetting Mr. Scott's advice of being "always a wee bit conservative on paper". This may sound like a long time to make one salad, but most of the supplies had been stored for the day, and there is the matter of washing and cutting the produce involved.
2 minutes in: Kitchen girl pages me, asking if it's done yet.
5 minutes in: Other produce employee walks in, inquiring about the salad.
6 minutes in: Produce manager pops his head in to do the same.
8 minutes in: FINISHED! Printing the label for it when kitchen girl pokes her head in laughing about the toe tapper out front, asking once more for an ETA.
The Revenge
After a near constant stream of harassment, I look at the salad label and decide that $6.99 isn't good enough and change it to $7.99. I also do a bit of cleanup before heading out with her freshly made salad, 10 minutes after last speaking with her. | Impatient customer pays more and doesn't get her salad early. |
t3_1ok11c | relationships | My manager of 1 year [34 M] is facing divorce and I [20 F] have no idea how to help him | Over the past week or so, my manager has been horribly depressed. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I expressed that I was worried about him and that I hoped everything worked out for him. A few days later, another manager told me and one other employee that he his wife was cheating on him and that she was planning on leaving him and their son. No one is supposed to know except for the managers (who only know because they are responsible for covering his shifts). He is seeing a psychiatrist because he says that if he's alone he'll "do something he'll regret".
He's also expressed surprise that the two managers who know have been checking up on him so much, saying that he didn't know that anyone at [work] cared about him. Now, this is upsetting to me, because this manager is quite possibly the single most important and influential person in my life. I love that man more than I love my own dad, and I would do anything for him, but because I'm not supposed to know whats going on, I've kept mostly to myself, though I did bake him cookies, as pathetic as that sounds.
I'm also really worried about pushing him too hard. I want to let him know that if he needs ANYTHING, all he has to do is call and I'll be there. I want to show him I'm here and that I care without being overbearing or pushy >.< | Manager walked in on his wife with another man. He's missed almost a week of work, understandably, but he is convinced that no one at work cares about him (not true at all). |
t3_2c2os8 | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Ex gf [21F] 3 years, Already in a relationship | She broke up with me two weeks ago because "I treated her bad" and "she was tired of everything"
A week before that, she told me she loved me even after all the pain and said she was also breaking up with me because I didn't want kids or a future. We are both 21. She also said she missed being single and the freedom and whatnot.
This was on of her most serious relationships and I was the first one she fell in love with according to her.
A bit before the breakup, she said that this coworker from her new job was being nice and hugged her because apparently she looked "sad" and she told me she imagined how it would be going out with him because he was so nice compared to me. I kept asking after the breakup and she said that he is just a coworker and that's it.
This weekend I was told that she was seen holding hands with this dude and it completely shocked me.
Before all this she was asking me to apply at her place to make more hours so that means that during that time she didn't have anything going on with him? What I think is that since he was being supportive and she broke up with me, she monkey branched with him or is he just a rebound? | Ex already in a relationship two weeks after the breakup. Possible rebound? |
t3_4l1apc | relationships | Me (22/f) wanting to get our own place with bf (23/m) but he's starting to change his mind... | Hey guys, I'm in a predicament...
Long story short, I've lived with my bf for a good year with roomates (his friends) and recently decided to renew the lease due to financial issues and now stuck with living at this place for another year.
Don't get me wrong, the roommates are good people and it's been a pretty good year, but to be honest, I'm getting sick of a messy house, constant dirty dishes, and lack of privacy anywhere in the house except our room. Needless to say, I'm ready for my own place with the bf.
Even though we have talked it over and he says he supports my decision, he recently made excuses that he "doesn't want to end up in a shitty apartment, he wants a house, he's afraid we might break up over financial issues if we can't afford the place", blah & blah.
He then goes on and keeps asking me why I want another place when it's so good here and he won't understand that it's always been different for me because we live with HIS friends. I've never felt completely comfortable at my own house and I would just prefer my own living space with my bf.
Sigh* Sorry for the long post. I guess I'm just frustrated that he says he wants to move out and get our place when it's clearly obvious that he doesnt. And prefers roomates.
Thanks for your time guys, I could really use some advice. I'm afraid our relationship will come to an end soon... | Me and bf agreed to get our own place and he's now having second thoughts and won't understand why I want out. |
t3_4ktmze | relationships | My [20 M] Girlfriend [22 F] changed her password right when she gave it to me. | So I've been with my girlfriend for over q month now, I've known her for about 1 year ago, but just recently (1month) we started dating.
Yesterday we were talking on Facebook and having fun fun, until we randomly started talking about our FB's password, I told her that mine is her name combined her birthday, and she got really flattred anyways.
She told me to guess hers and I obviously couldn't, she gave it to me afterwards... We both went to sleep and just today I woke up early studied a bit and then got bored, so I decided to check her Facebook aaaand I found that it's an old password and she changed it right when she gave it to me.
Should I be worried about this? Because I haven't changed my PW and it's still the same. And I talked to her this morning and she didn't mention it. | gf changed her PW without letting me know? |
t3_zvk4d | relationships | My sister [25] is having trouble with her roommate [27] | My sister isn't very good at internet, so I thought I'd see if anyone here had more advice for her than I.
My sister, Beth, has a 6 year old daughter. She works as a nurse, and her roommate/friend Kate takes care of getting the kid to school every morning as my sister is usually working.
Recently, Kate got a new boyfriend. She's always been the type who blew off my sister when she was dating someone new, but my sister has put up with it because she needs someone to help with my niece.
Last night, my sis couldn't find her kid's lunch box as she was getting things together to make the mornings easier on Kate. She knocked on Kate's door & asked if she knew where it was. Kate acted like she was sleeping and said that she borrowed it but no, she didn't know where it was. My sis goes to look for it. Not 5 mins later, Kate's boyfriend calls, and Kate is laughing and talking with him while my sis is trying to find the lunchbox. Understandably, that made my sis think "Well, if you were awake enough to talk to him, you could get off your ass and help find this lunchbox!"
Another example of this is my sis's bday. Kate, a couple other friends & Kate's BF were supposed to go out with my sister. Kate & her BF had a fight & she said she couldn't go anymore.
What can my sister do without losing her friend & the help she needs with her daughter? She's talked to Kate before about how this kind of behavior bothers her, but it just goes out the window when Kate gets a new BF. | Roommate slacks off on friendship & household duties when dating someone |
t3_2248sb | relationships | Me [24F] with my bf [24 M/] of 3 years, he cheated early in the relationship, should I still be worried 3 years later? | 5 months after my boyfriend and I started dating, he went on a trip and I later found out he made out with a girl at a bar when he was drunk.
When he came back from his trip, he told me he loved me for the first time. (Before I found out he cheated). I found out from a friend of his. we briefly broke up, but he didnt give up on me and we got back together.
He later explained he would never cheat on me again, and that kissing the other girl made him realize he really wanted to be with me.
Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we have been very happy. We rarely fight and only have small arguments that we quickly get over. I'm pretty sure I trust him not to cheat again, but people always say, "once a cheater always a cheater" Is this always true? what's your opinion?
We have lived together for about a year, and since the incident, I have had no reason not to trust him. | he cheated once when we first started dating, 3 years later we are very happy. Should I worry it'll happen again? |
t3_13d81b | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the best "I love you" story you know? | My boyfriend told me he loved me and I wasn't quite ready to say it back. A week later we had dinner plans after we both got off work. He had a wine tasting at work that day and showed up to dinner with me absolutely shit faced. Having no idea he was yelling when he talked or that he was slurring every word, I got annoyed after having to tell him to shut up so many times. Finally I said, "Honey, I love you, but please keep it down a little." He looked up slowly and opened his mouth in shock and said, "you doooo?" and I laughed and said yes, and he then proceeded to lift his arms in the air and yelled "TODAY SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE DAY WE LOVE EACH OTHER!" | I told my boyfriend I loved him when he was drunk a week after he told me first and hilarity ensued. |
t3_38f4i6 | tifu | TIFU by leaving my nipple hair on the table | First post :), some background information: For some messed up reason, my nipples are extremely hairy, and they are actually the only chest hairs I have. "Oh my nipples are hairy too", no. I'm talking about a solid 20 black hairs on each nipple, some of which around 2-3 inches long.
So right now I'm doing my exams, and I decided, Hey lets procrastinate. I look around the room, oh look tweezers, maybe it's time to do the nips eh? So I start plucking way, ouch. My nipples start turning red. At this point, I've never seen my bare nipple in like 4 years, so this looks pretty weird to me. As I'm plucking them out, I leave them on coffee table to the right of the sofa. After pulling out around 37 hairs, I decide its time for a nap, then I'll study. I forgot about the nipple hair left on the table.
My mum comes home, and after about an hour of so starts shouting at me "Who's hair is this?!". Shit. I forgot about them. At this point, she's shouting at me, and I pretty much have to confess that I was just watching TV on the sofa, pulling out my nip hair. She gives me an earful of how disgusting that is (its just hair yeah..), and I end up scooping them into my hands and walking towards the bin. I look at my hand, the hairs are gone.
My nipple hairs are scattered over the floor, and I have no idea where they are. Oh well. | Decided my nip hair needed a touch up, forgot about them, mum found out, dropped them on the floor, can't find them. |
t3_2psp04 | relationships | I (23M) am having trouble staying in touch with my girlfriend (22F) who is going to school in Brazil. Help! | We have been doing long distance for 2 years now and we dated for 6 months before it all began. We used to have skype dates and send pictures in a more intimate fashion, but lately she hasn't wanted to do anything. We barely skype and our conversations are becoming rutine. I often send her flowers and gifts and we travel somewhere together every 3 months or so. I work alot though. I do two weeks on 1 off and she is a full time student with research as well. This lack of intimacy has never been a problem before. I am giving her gifts, making more time for her, sending her pictures, and even learning portugues at what I believe to be an incredibly fast rate. I have tried phone calls, skype, letters, and gifts but nothing I do seems to make her feel more connected. What can i do? | I really love this girl, but she lives far away and no longer wants to be intimate (skype/fun pictures). I miss the intimacy and can't get it back no matter what I try. Help :( |
t3_1vxaw3 | loseit | Scared to LOSE IT. | This is incredibly stupid. I know how pitiful this sounds. Maybe it looks like I'm really sad or something lame like that. Here is the truth.
I am around 206lbs right now as a 27/f about 5'5. I have set goals, set up a sticker system to track progress. I've had a trainer, I know what to do. I know what to eat, I know I need a routine. I feel like I want to get healthier. I want to feel good in what I wear and look hot. I want to achieve weight loss by summer if possible but ultimately by December for my graduation.
I am holding back. I don't know what it is. I keep setting these goals. I set stupid rules like if I eat badly that day there is no point in going to the gym, I could just eat well the next day. I tried to do low carb and I swear I now consume more carbs than I ever did before I gave up on no carbs.
What the hell is wrong with me? I just got a new job, I'm finishing school, I'm finally a senior, I finally am kind of stable and independent, I have a new car I was so excited about. I am meditating a little, I think positive thoughts, I'm reading more. Everything is so on track. I'm keeping up with other goals. I know only I can answer this.
I wake up sometimes and think of everything else that is more important. I think about excuses. I think about how in ONE MONTH I could probably lose 20 lbs if I really tried. I know this can be easy for me.
Does anyone else feel this way? Is there something I'm missing here? I hate feeling so unmotivated but struggling with self consciousness and insecurity that I've never had before. | I'm ashamed of where I've let myself get, but I know it can get better quickly if I try. After I try for short stints of time, I give up easily. I don't know why I am afraid of just putting this into action. |
t3_3mh7fx | AskReddit | What you would you do about apartment neighbor? | So my neighbor below us moved in less than a month ago, and they suck. So far we have gone down twice to ask yo turn down subwoofer, they are still load. They leave trash in hallway, and smell the entire building with pot smell (I don't care if they smoke they could just be discrete about it it's still illegal in my state). Well today I left and they had an extension cord plugged into the outlet in the hall. It goes directly into there apartments. Talk about being captain obvious. Since I already resent them I am really tempted to call it in, but it's really none of my business. What would you do? | Hated neighbors are stealing power from landlord should I tattle? I would love to see them gone. |
t3_1m40fl | relationships | My ex wants to get back together, I feel like he needs to prove it [23F, 24M] | My ex and I dated for about 8 months before he broke up with me. We rushed into a relationship (due to deployment) without really knowing each other and ended up on different pages emotionally. After two months of no contact, we saw each other at a bar and began talking again. A few months later, he asked if I was interested in getting back together.
I am interested, but also suspicious. I'm not sure if I fully understand the situation, and he's a terrible communicator so it's been hard to gauge what his intentions are. I'm not sure if he really misses me and wants to try again or if I'm just a convenient option.
I'm willing to give it another try, but only if we want the same things this time. I would much rather date and take things *very* slow so I can make sure that he's serious about this before committing, but I'm not sure if that's a crazy thing to ask. I want to go back to square one and make sure that he's emotionally invested first so I don't get hurt again.
For me, this would also mean not sleeping together unless we are committed. I don't think this would go over well, but again, I'm just not confident that he sees a future here. Sex was such a huge part of our relationship last time, and we slept together on our first date. There was no waiting, and I was never nervous about him using me for sex but since he broke up with me, the thought has cropped up. I wouldn't expect him to be monogamous until we were actually together. If he only wants to get back together because I'm comfortable and easy, I'm not interested.
If a relationship developed organically from us dating again, I feel I could let go of the baggage of being dumped the first time around. If not, I avoid getting used. I'd feel better about the situation and not so insecure in my relationship. On the other hand, I feel like I'm playing games by withholding sex and commitment until he "proves" that he's serious. I feel like I'm being immature. Thoughts? | Ex wants to get back together, but I'm not sure if he's serious. I'd rather take things slow. I don't know if I'm being manipulative by "testing" his commitment to this. |
t3_4uxfrg | legaladvice | How can we achieve the benefits of marriage without actually getting married? | Hi all,
Me and my significant other are in our early thirties. We are in California and have been together for over 5 years and are having a child soon. We have joint checking and savings bank accounts and a mortgage, but also have own individual funds. Own one car on her name and my lease is ending soon. She owns property under her name in a different state.
We want to make sure we set things up legally so that we have access to each others assets in case something were to happen to us and also to make sure our kid is protected.
Obviously the easiest way to achieve these goals would be to get married. However, we both have high incomes and would incur a significant[ "tax penalty"] every year. We would prefer to put that money toward joint/family expenses instead of paying it out to uncle sam. Moreover we have somewhat non-traditional views on the whole institution of marriage that I won't bore you with.
Long story short we'd like to achieve the legal benefits of marriage without actually doing it. [A civil union is not an option in california because we are opposite sex and under 62.]
So, we are thinking about getting things setup through a lawyer. What kind of lawyer should I seek out? It seems to be me we would to write Wills for each of us and also some sort of power-of-attorney in case we need to make medical or legal decisions for eachother.
Any input wold be greatly appreciated! | Want to milk the cow without marrying it. |
t3_tuz9x | AskReddit | For those creative types out there: What's your weirdest client story? | I'll start:
Back in freshman year of high school, I was contacted by a company (let's call them "Company Y") through my video film teacher looking for a corporate video. The concept seemed simple enough, a two minute video demonstrating daily comings-and-goings of the business. I and a former student of my high school wouldn't be paid, but our video film program would receive $500 for our services.
Two months pass after the first meeting, not hearing a thing. I finally called the CEO (the person who approached my teacher.) He told me that "This Saturday he'd like us to shoot." Keep in mind, its Thursday at this point. So we shot the demo with only one employee and finished with time to spare. We edited the video in about two weeks and FedEx'd the two copies. One containing the quicktime movie and the other a playable DVD. However after watching it, the CEO said we did and "unsatisfactory job" and he "demanded to have the raw files given to him so that he could hire someone else to edit the piece." We told him that if he wanted the video, he would also need to hire an editor to edit the piece for a lot more than $500.
From here on, we didn't hear a word from the PR rep who was supposed to deal with the $500 or the CEO (whose phone apparently was now disconnected and email was shut off). We thought about taking them to small claims court, but a friend of mine told me that without a written contract (everything was agreed upon in person) there'd be no way I could make a claim.
About two years later, I came across an article in my local paper. Apparently three days after we FedEx'd the final film, the company declared bankruptcy and the CEO left the state. Leaving me with nothing to show for it but a boring corporate video. | Made a video for a company, it went bankrupt, always have written contracts. |
t3_3r92sw | relationships | Me [20 M/] I want to know how to talk to my crush [18 F] of 5 weeks but i suck at making conversation. | I've met a girl while at uni and I really like her. Thing is, I struggle at being able to create conversations as well as holding them.
I'm fine when i'm in a group and at times i'm able to have a good conversation 1 on 1 however i am incredibly inconsistent. I just feel that I come across as being boring or too self centered because when I try to make light conversation, I often don't get a reply from her.
Sometimes I will get into a groove so to speak and we'll throw some banter back and forth which is fantastic as I usually have her laughing at that point. It's just getting to a point where I can do that.
I also suck at starting conversations, I have no idea how to start a conversation, especially over facebook. I feel that to show interest, its best to talk to her 1 on 1 more often. I don't usually get that chance when we're at our club and we don't meet by ourselves much either as I have no idea where to go with her and then the obvious, im worried about the conversation just dying. Doesn't help were both students and can't afford to do anything too fancy.
Her and I will be meeting over the weekend so I can cook dinner for her. I have a general idea of what I want to ask as we haven't actually talked about our backgrounds much so there is a lot there. It's just a case of not fucking up. I would just like some advice on how I can smoothly navigate a conversation without clamming up or focusing on myself. Also any tips on calming anxiety would be nice. | Date coming up, need help on not sucking at making conversation. |
t3_ppddu | AskReddit | Anybody have any experience with small claims court? [Question within.] | My friend resigned from his job, and his former employer is withholding his last paycheck. He has filed a complaint with the department of labor for the state where he lives, but they said that could take up to 90 days to process and he needs the money now.
He has tried e-mailing and calling his former employer, but all he got was an extremely nasty, unprofessional, hurtful email in reply saying that the quality of my friends work was not good enough and that he should not be paid, along with baseless allegations of theft.
He wants to take up the matter in small claims court, but here's the big question: It's a franchise restaurant, and the owner of the franchise lives in California, but the franchise is registered in the same county that my friend lives in. If he takes him to small claims court, can he just file a complaint against the company itself, or does it have to be against a person in which case would he have to file it in California? | Anyone ever filed a small claims case against someone out of state with in-state interests, and how does that work? |
t3_v7zfu | AskReddit | Im an apprentice. Am I in trouble? | So I am an apprentice maintenance engineer for a well known car company. Last week I had food poisoning and wasnt in all last week. I have to go to college on a monday and im on site the rest of the week. So I didnt go into college on monday but also didnt ring my training officer to say I wouldnt be in. (Mostly down to me feeling shitty and him being a prick) I.decided to deal with him when I was back in work. So anyway the story goes, he text what he thought was my mobile on monday morning asking where I was. The number he had was friend of mine I had rang him off about 6 months ago. So he texts asking where I was. My friend didnt recognise the number and text back saying 'Just got in from a night out, had a good night'.. So now my boss thinks that I have missed work because I have been out all night. Is there anything that could go bad for me? | Boss text a friends number asking where I was. Friends replied that I/he was out drinking |
t3_2d5ydm | relationships | Me [19 F] and a guy [35 M] I've been seeing got drunk together and now he's avoiding that night. | I wasn't sure how to word the title. So we met under crappy circumstances and timing. He just got out of a 15 year relationship and I just lost a baby, so we're both cautious right now. The first thing we talked about was how we both wanted to go about this. We agreed to take things slow and that moving fast wouldn't be fair for either of us. So for the first 2 weeks we would go hangout with his friends, go get some food at these awesome hole in the wall places, or just hangout in his back yard and smoke.
Around the end of the 2nd week while hanging out with his friends he called me out of the room and kissed me, just a peck, and waited for my reaction. So now we occasionally kiss. But last Tuesday we were sitting with his friends in the studio and they were smoking, drinking, and just talking. I decided I'd drink with them.
Around midnight he and I stumbled back to his room. Before we fell asleep we talked, he was singing and accidentally hit me in the head with his cell phone, and used my back as a guitar to play with the music. But he also asked to have sex, and I said no. He agreed. He then asked for head. I agreed, but not even halfway through he stopped me and said he couldn't do this to me. He then told me that we had to go to sleep. I was really confused but agreed.
The next day I went home and slept in until evening. He called and asked to take me out to dinner. I went and met up with him. We ended up talking about the night and he apologized for the phone thing and brought up some other things he did. I then asked him why he made me stop and he told me he has no idea what I'm talking about and dropped the topic. Why would he be avoiding this? | Guy I've been seeing and I got drunk. I gave him head and he made stop after he asked for it. When I asked him later why he made me stop he told me he doesn't remember this, even though he told me what happened every other part of the night. Why would he be avoiding that part of the night specifically? |
t3_v9cy8 | AskReddit | TD ATM ate my bank card | So I put in my TD debit card at an ATM and I thought I had already transfered my money. I went to the withdraw money screen then realized I hadn't actually transferred my money so I opened up my phone and went into my email and transferred the money but that didn't work because I didn't have some online thing activated. When I looked back at the ATM it was an advertisement type screen and I tried hitting cancel and stuff and it wouldn't give me my card back. I sat there for a bit spamming buttons then tried putting in my TD credit card, which it let me do. Then I took out money on that and got my credit card back and still no debit card. Has this ever happened to someone before? | put my bank card in to an ATM and didnt get it back at the end |
t3_3h51q1 | relationship_advice | [26/m] Inexperienced - should I pursue ST relationship? | Quick background - I'm 26, and have very little relationship experience. Meaning, I've never been on a 4th date, never mind had a proper relationship. Because of this, I'm not really sure how to deal with what is probably a simple situation.
I recently met a girl on a night out - only spoke briefly, but I got her number and after a few texts the next day, agreed on a date.
The date went quite well - had a few drinks, and we ended up going back to my place, where we had sex and she spent the night. I really enjoyed it, but I'm not sure there's much chance of us ending up together.
I feel it's a bit selfish, but I'd quite like to see her again a few times, just to get some "dating experience" even though I have no real intention of a long term relationship with her. Is that really bad? Instinctively it feels like I'd be taking advantage, and that's definitely not what I want to do. But this is all uncharted territory for me, so I'm not sure... | don't know if I should have a second date when I have no intention of long term relationship |
t3_3cqmoh | relationships | Me [27/F] with my husband [29/M] of 3.5 years. I am not working currently and he thinks he should do zero household chores. | Please read the whole thing before commenting because it sounds bad based on the title.
Its pretty simple. My husband is doing a high paying internship for the summer and I moved with him. My job field is one where I do lots of temporary short term contracts so it was easy to time out so I could go with him. The original plan was for me to find a seasonal job where we are temporarily living but it's been really hard to find someone who will hire me for such a short time. I'm still looking but we are fine without my income, and we've talked about it at length. He says he is not resentful of me not working and I believe him.
Because I'm at home I do almost all the household chores. I clean the house, cook, etc. I cook our meals, prep his lunches and bake banana bread and muffins so he has an easy breakfast. I grocery shop by myself or sometimes he comes because he likes shopping. The only thing I've asked him to do is the trash. I hate dealing with the trash and litterbox. It's really easy, especially since our apartment has trash pickup. He'll begrudgingly do it but I have to nag which I hate. He doesn't think he should have to do ANY chores. I mean, he expects me to pick up his plate from his desk (he doesnt even bring it into the kitchen!) I do all the cooking, dishes, laundry, kitchen cleanup, vacuuming, dusting, etc.
We have a great relationship for the most part and I'm really appreciative of him footing the bills (he covers bills when I'm in between contracts too.) Before now I've always done the majority of the housework because I like my house to be just so and he definitely contributed more financially so this isnt a hugely new situation but he never complained about pitching in before.
Part of me is thinking about sucking it up since we'll be in a different situation come fall but I don't know if I can do it all summer. Or am I wrong and should I be responsible for every single thing? | in a temp situation where husband works and I don't, I don't mind doing the vast majority of the housework/cooking while we are in this situation (til end of summer) but he's resentful if I ask him to do even minor things. |
t3_1civy3 | dating_advice | How would you handle a man who has lied about his age? (F/29, M/??) | Back story: I literally just started seeing this man, we've spent time together twice. He is handsome, and quite charming, but something seemed off. This weird suspicion just wouldn't leave me alone.
He is easy to locate on the internet, and some of his family history is easily fact checked via google, (Which I did openly and shamelessly, as I met this guy cold, outside of my social circle, with no one I trust to vouch for him.) and I'm a good listener, so I remember what he tells me about his past.
He is who he says he is, and all that, and his father is fairly high profile, including date of death. Now... here is where it gets tricky. He told me he was in his thirties, which is fine. However, for his father to really be his father, he'd have to be at least in his mid-forties, and that would mean he was born *right* as his father died. Meaning this guy is in his fifties, at least.
I'm in my late twenties.
I feel like I'm being played the fool. That this guy figures that the dumb 20-something won't put together that he is lying.
I'd rather not burn the bridge, even if to just maintain a professional contact. Normally age isn't a big deal to lie about, trimming off a year or two. But to start off getting to know someone with a two decade sized falsehood, I just don't even know.
If you were in my shoes, how would you handle this? What would you say? How would you say it? I don't want to come off like some wackadoo accusing him of lying right as we meet, but the math of his existence simply doesn't add up. Either his father isn't really his father, or he is 20-something years older than he says.
Thanks for reading, sorry if it got rant-y. I'm sad because I really thought he was nice. | Just started dating a guy who is likely 20-Or-So years older than he told me. How do I ask him about the fact he has lied. |
t3_32sba9 | relationships | Me [17 F] with my friend [17 M] a few months, he has a crush on me which I don't return and right now he's being really scary... | I'm about a year older but currently we are both 17.
We've been friends for a few months now and have gotten quite close. We say "I love you" in friendly ways. A week ago, he confessed his crush for me.
He's started acting very differently towards me with being overly affectionate and obsessive.
For example if I leave for something he'll have self doubts and spam me with messages when it was just a quick shower.
Right now I am very scared. He suddenly started venting and is being quite violent in terms of text. He is swearing and saying his life is hell.
I get that he has depression and I have it too but I honestly don't know what to do as I'm usually not an angry person.
I also don't know what to do about our relationship. I feel a bit of discomfort when it comes to affection.
He has expressed that it was okay to be friends but complains that it is painful. | Friend confessed crush to me but is now being a bit violent and I'm not sure what to do. |
t3_r6k1v | AskReddit | Friendzone + flatmate !!!!!= the girl you should fall in love with | There's three of us living in our flat, me, another guy and a girl. I've known them both for years, last year the guy moved over here and needed somewhere to live - so we decided to get a pad. Out drinking with some of my friends and mention it to the girl, she wants in... Great, three awesome people, should be a wicked flat... And it is!!
Ground rule number one, no shagging the flat mates, which is a fair enough rule to have. Little did I know that 9 months after moving in I'd start falling for the girl, and I've fallen big time...
Now I'm in an awkward position, if I say anything to her I could end up fucking things up royally. I have no idea if she feels the same, although we have definitely got very close over the last few weeks. I feel exactly like the socially awkward penguin, and can't think of any way of bring this up with her without sounding like a complete fucking moron.
Wise people of the internets - what advice do you have - do I try and bury the feelings and hope this passes or try and make something of it? | Fallen in love with my flatmate |
t3_qdrlb | relationships | Just not sure what to do anymore... | Its not that I don't know what to do, I just do not know how to do it. I hate causing pain, even if it means my happiness...
This is kinda long but I need to get it off my chest!!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years and there are just some things that are not right. The first year he was an amazing boyfriend. We became super close and he would tell me all the time that he couldnt wait to make me his wife.
2 thanksgivings ago he cheated on me with a girl in our friend group while I was in my home town. I found out from his roommates and that weekend he tried breaking up with me with the excuse that we were "too good of friends". I called him out on his bull shit and we broke up for a month. We then started talking about it and I asked him straight up if he slept with her. He said NO. We eventually got back together.
Fast forward to this past May..I was having a conversation with the girl he cheated on me with and she informs me that they did for sure have sex. I confronted him about it and he wouldn't even admit it. I screamed, yelled, and freaked out because he lied straight to my face. We didn't break up but I was extremely close to calling it quits.
Fast forward to now...we are still together but I just cant get over the whole cheating things let alone the lying that has evolved from it. Along with that he is manipulative, doesn't show appreciation, and expects me to do everything and anything for him. Along with that he doesnt show or tell me he loves me, just says that him having sex with me should show that he loves me. I know that I need to end it and I deserve better I just dont know how to go about it. All of my friends have turned into "our" friends and I feel like my whole summer is planned with him. I just need some advice about where to go from here because I am completely lost!
If you have been in the same situation or have some good advice on how to go about this PLEASE give it to me!! | Boyfriend of 2.5 years is manipulative, demanding, and selfish and I dont know how to end it. |
t3_ev7sk | books | Hey Reddit, I want to build a (personal) library. | When I was a kid my Dad always told me to read more "classics" and I couldn't be bothered at the time. Every so often I would read one, and a curtain would be lifted, exposing a world of references that I otherwise would never have noticed or understood. Nowadays people are loving gadgets and the literature is slowly switching over to an electronic medium. I'm not saying all literature will eventually go strictly digital, but likely, a lot will. I personally don't plan on buying a physical version of every book I read. E-readers are great at saving space but their is something to be said about having a nice hardcover copy of your favorite books. Reddit what are your favorite books that you think are deserving of hardcover? | What hardcover books are worth buying in the electronic age? |
t3_r1737 | AskReddit | Troll mode activated: Ignored by boyfriend, any suggestions Reddit? | *Should this go in /r/relationships? I'm new, go easy on me.*
So my boyfriend and I had a fight earlier, he left at 12:30 PM and we didn't speak until around 7 PM. He did not seem upset or sad, so I thought to ask if he wanted to see me like we planned. This is where he started to ignore me, upon which I got this really bad abstinence and have cried for like an hour because I feel so lonely and ignored by the only person who really cares about me. This is when I realized, instead of crying and texting him, getting my calls blocked etc begging for his attention, I should do something better. First I thought of texting his brother hinting to him we're breaking up (been considering it, just not entirely sure. He does care about me but it's just not working out lately) but then I figured I could do better and use some real trolling advice. Give me your best shot.
No, I'm not a bitch, or your generic attention whore. I don't intend to be mean, I just think he's purposedly breaking my heart because he knows I really need him when I'm in this mood. I just want to make him talk to me in a fashionably trolling way. | My boyfriend's ignoring me despite knowing I need his comfort, hit me with your best shot at trolling to get him to talk to me. |
t3_2eiajp | tifu | TIFU by trying to have a peaceful nap [NFSW] | I was in my language arts class last Thursday and we had to do an essay, but i finished early so i decided to take a nap, unfortunately that peaceful nap turned into a rape filled nightmare. The dream started with me walking down a road and a man following me, i noticed so i started walking faster, so did he. So i started running, so did he. It turned into an all out sprint and i just couldn't run fast enough. He caught me and violently pulled my pants down, pulled out his dick, and was ready for my asshole. Right as he put his cock in my ass i woke up and screamed the loudest scream i think I've ever produced in my life. I knew all eyes we're on me and i just couldn't muster up the courage to look around. My teacher holding back her laughter asks if i'm ok and i reply with the weakest "yes" i could find. Everyone kept laughing at me the rest of the day and now i'm known as the guy who screams in his sleep. I don't even know how the fuck i'm going to live down, now i'm afraid to fall asleep in any of my classes. | Fell alseep in class, got raped in my ass |
t3_2xj1ck | relationships | Me [30 M] with my [30 F] fiancee togheter 6 years, arguing over stupid shit | We have recently been arguing about physical touching. That is, I grab a boob/vag/butt at every opportunity (never in public of course), and she is complaining about some shit like "there are other parts to me besides my privates" Basically like, when we cuddle, kiss, etc, of course I grab a boob, shit, why not? I'm not rough, I just like 'em.
So that's one source of argument. The other is I feel that when we have sex she isn't acting "into it" enough. She says she's into it, but I don't feel like she is.
Am I a fucking moron on both parts? | GF doesn't like being manhandled. Am I being unreasonable? |
t3_njj3h | AskReddit | What is the most fucked up thing you witnessed as a child but didn't realize how bad it was until you were older? | Example: In 6th grade, there was a girl who was kind of trashy/weird (like "lick her textbooks" weird) and she sat behind a girl with extremely long hair in class. I remember looking over and seeing her pick at her head then flick her fingers toward the other girls head. I thought she was just being the weirdo that she is. The preppy girl came to school a couple of weeks later with her hair cut short as hell and wouldn't tell anyone why. I now realize that she was flicking lice into the girls hair. The weirdo was sent home with lice a few times that year. | Saw a girl intentionally give another girl head lice.* |
t3_3ws1d4 | relationships | Me 24F dated a guy 26M, now one of his closest friends is hitting on me what to do? | okay reddit I need a quick answer.
Me 24F I met this guy went on one date been talling for a month had some bumps and i kind of feel that he is no longer interested he says he's going to text then he doesnt then explains that it was due to work.
Anyway his friend one of his closest ones had me on facebook, added me on snapchat and started talking casually with me. Should I tell them that I am aware that they're friends and tell them that they both hit on me? Or should i keep stuff to myself and stay in the shades?
Also is it okay to move forward with the second guy? As he asked for my number and I said no.
Btw i should mention that i dont think that the second guy knows about me and the first one | Me 24F dated a 26M, now his one of his closest friends is hitting on me, what to do? |
t3_hyh6p | self | Today I met a man who spent over $170,000 to become a salesman. | The title sums it up; I met a man at a wedding who had formerly been a tax attorney but had paid to attend Harvard Business School. Upon graduation, he was hired by Goldman Sachs to be a municipal bond salesman in Chicago.
Now, this really has nothing to do with HBR, or GS. I'm familiar with the world of finance and I'm not besmirching either institution. What I am pointing out is the reality of the expenditure made by this person, in order to secure what is otherwise quite an unremarkable professional position.
The man initially told me what he did: "I work for Goldman in the bond department." That can mean a lot of things, so it took a couple more questions to get at what I wanted to know: Yes, he was in the bond department - but it was municipal bonds, he wasn't trading them (he was a broker) and he was doing it in Chicago.
I once thought about attending business school, but it was with the idea of learning some sort of management "skill" and taking it out into the world to better industry. I can't imagine spending all of that time and money to essentially secure myself a position as a salesperson. | if you spent $170k to go to HBR and you're a salesman, you wasted your money. |
t3_lgg8w | AskReddit | Am I being scammed? Faxing car's title to interested buyer | I'm selling my Volkswagen and posted a classified ad on a popular Volkswagen message board that I frequent. Figured I'd try that before going to Craigslist. Anyway, guy is interested, asks if there is a lien on the car (there isn't) and for the VIN number. I email him back with the VIN number. A few hours later he replies, excitedly, saying that he's pretty much sold on the car but that he would need to check it out first. He then says that he needs my information to move along with the auto loan, so that if he likes it we can finalize everything on the spot. For the bank, he needs my address, phone #, and a copy of the title sent to xxx-xxx-xxxx. He provided a loan # to mark it with, but didn't provide his bank's info. I'm hesitant to send this to an unverified number, sight unseen. It's worth noting that his e-mail address does link to a valid Facebook account. | Does faxing a copy of my car's title to an interested buyer seem legit? |
t3_kuv09 | AskReddit | Hey reddit... need some advice. Especially from the "forever-aloners". | Basically, I just moved to a new school and met my roommate for the first time. The problem is... he is really really socially awkward/ocd/just kind of weird and crazy all around.
I keep trying to be really friendly to him, to kind of help him come out of his shell, but nothing seems to be working.
I know it's not my problem, but I kind of wanted my college roommate experience to be different. I feel REALLY selfish saying this, but I kind of wanted to be good friends with my roommate, not feel uncomfortable in the same room as him (he makes me feel VERY awkward. I think he has a really bad case of being passive aggressive).
Anyway, my question is, basically, is there anything that I can do to make him more comfortable around me? I have pretty much given up on hope that we will become good friends, as he is probably a very introverted person, but I still want things to be as comfortable between us as possible. I've seen numerous posts on here from redditors who claim to have social anxiety/ introverted personalities, So I'm hoping some of them can chime in and tell me how to/not to act. | I have a roommate that is a person I am nothing alike and am having trouble dealing with it. |
t3_2f0s2s | relationship_advice | Need some help interpreting a thought I had today. | Ok. So my girlfriend [18f] and I [19m] have been experimenting with our sexuality and just sex in general. In previous conversations she has expressed to me that she would like to try pegging, which I was very happy about, she also expressed to me that she enjoys guys cross dressing. That one I wasn't to keen on and I still am not, but I decided that I would be willing to do something like that for her. She is also pansexual (important background info. If ya don't know what it is a quick google search will help). I've expressed to her that I don't want to be emasculated and have no desire to be a woman and she knows that. I hadn't given the topic much though afterwards. It dawned on me today though that and this is gunna be simplified if she wants me to dress like a woman, and have sex with me like a woman (I mean this as in penetrative sex where I am being submissive and penetrated, the whole pegging part). The combination of all these things makes me feel like she would rather me be a woman sometimes. She has told me she has no desire for that but part of me just can't shake the feeling like she does. What do you think? Thanks for reading any advice helps. Have a wonderful day! | The girlfriend wants me to play the part of a woman in the bedroom but is telling me she has no desire for me to be a woman. How should I interpret/ handle this? |
t3_se4tk | AskReddit | How can I get my brother to appreciate my dad? What can I do to show my own appreciation? | My dad has always worked hard to provide my brother and I the best start in life. Rarely spending money on himself.
A couple years ago he was ripped off for most of his retirement savings in an investment gone wrong. There goes his dream of traveling the world for 10 years that he used to talk about all the time. And having already spent a lot of money on putting us through private school, still financing the family travels, still generously paying off some of my expenses (and not letting me pay him back).. money is sometimes a sensitive topic.
And my brother doesn't get it. He'll call my Dad a cheapass or lazy for not doing mundane things for him. Days after being bought a computer he needed. My brother doesn't have a job, doesn't put any effort into finding one, yet thinks nothing of using my parent's money/time. Wilfully wastes things. Steals small amounts of money/earphones/little things from all of us. He's almost 20 and spends his life (other than university) in his room and is completely deluded. Makes up his own reality - ie claiming tonight that he bought his own computer? Backtracking the justification as that he'd pay Dad for it if he had a job? Thinks he has the toughest life.
And I'm a 22 year old girl, but I've just never been that "affectionate". I love my parents but it's like there's some forcefield stopping me from walking upstairs an hugging my Dad.
So what can I do to show him he's appreciated? How can I pull my brother's head out of his ass to see how easy my Dad makes his life? | Dad spends all his money on us, despite losing his retirement savings, and gets no love back. My brother actually disrespects him. How do I open my brother's eyes, and show my love? |
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