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t3_452o4e | relationships | My [18M] GF [18F] is way richer than me and it makes me feel less of a man, I would like some advice | We've been dating since we were 14 years old. Back then I didn't realize how important money was because our "dates" were like going to McDonalds with friends, or the amusement park, or visit some monuments (we live in Rome, Italy) but I never understood how important money was until last summer when her parents (who kinda seem to like me) invited me to visit Brazil with them. I had to say no because I didn't have the money.
I come from a cash poor family, we live in a 2bd apartment and we don't have much savings, and my parents work at least 50 hours a week. Her family owns like 3 houses and 2 apartments in Rome, and an apartment in Milan; my parents drive a Fiat, her parents own Mercedes and Audis and want to give her a Range Rover when she gets her driver's license. This makes me feel less of a man, because I'm pretty sure I'll never in my life make half as much money as her family, and I feel very awkward because I wear clothes from like H&M and Zara and she has Gucci and LV bags all over her house.
This is our senior year in high school and again, money so far hasn't been an issue, but when you become serious about marriage or living together, that's gonna be an issue. I'm sure she would like to live in a big house, which I can't even afford to pay the bills, let alone mortgage/rent. She's gonna want to eat at expensive restaurants, visit exotic places around the world and I can't afford those things, and I don't want her to pay for me, ever.
What should I do at this point ? I would like some advice not something like "oh but she's still with you money doesn't matter to her because she likes/loves you" and that's true, because in high school you do pretty cheap stuff, but once you have to live together, that's another story because she's used to the rich lifestyle, which I can't afford. | My girlfriend is rich, I'm not, this makes me feel less of a man. |
t3_re0dv | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your kryptonite? | Reddit, I was thinking. I'm what people call a multitalent. There are few things I can't do;
* Hooking up electricity, no problem.
* Sports? I'm adequate.
* Writing essays, [Yaayeah](
* Cooking? Love it.
Even socially, I manage pretty well(I'm a streetmarketeer in my spare time so I pretty much have to).
But when it comes to women, whether I have to work with them or have to drive a car where they're in. I start fucking sucking. I act normal but I can't accomplish the task at hand. I even got a shock while hooking up a chandelier when a female intern was looking. | Women are my Kryptonite |
t3_3si2g3 | legaladvice | who owns this dog. (Arizona) | background:
My daughter came to visit me in 2012 and fell for a rescue dog that I have. The next year when she came to visit she got a tattoo of the dogs nose on her hip. Then last year she asked if she could come and live with me, I agreed. Once she got here her and the dog became close, but, and this is the important part, I never promised her she could have the dog if she moved out. well she turned 18 a few months ago and decided she wanted to move in with her boyfriend. And now she is harassing me in an attempt to get me to give her the dog. She has informed me that I will be getting a summons to small claims court next week.
I have vet records showing the day I rescued her in 2011, as well as pictures of that day. I have paid for all food and medical for the dog as well as trained her and she goes to work with me most days. I have a series of pictures that show my ownership of the dog since I rescued her. And, not that it matters to the court but I love this dog, hell she is curled up next to me on the couch as I write this. Also she is bonded to my other dog who is 11 and they rely on each other for support and companionship. (again, not sure if that would matter to the judge)
now she says that this dog is her emotional service animal, and that she has letters from her therapist and dr. saying that she needs the dog. and that she is falling apart mentally without her. hell maybe she is, but I'm not sure if that is even pertinent to the case.
my questions: when I show up in court, what are the most important things to bring? paperwork from the vet obviously, but what about the pictures? does how much either of us love this animal really matter? or is it just about the law of ownership of property. if you actually read this, thank you. | my 18 year old daughter wants to take my dog from me. could use some advice about going to court. |
t3_2l9vmj | tifu | TIFU by thinking someone was trying to break into our car | So this happened last night.
I was walking back from the library with my gf at around 11pm. We parked her car a couple of blocks away from campus on a dark street, kinda creepy but usually no big deal. Anyways, as we're getting closer to the car I see a man in a baggy sweater and sweatpants walking quickly from car to car, reaching his hand out to each one. I immediately think that he is testing to see if the doors on the cars are open. I quickly steered my gf down another street, looking back to see if he noticed us. He did! Shit! So now he's standing at the corner just staring at us as we walk briskly away. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911 thinking that this guy is going to chase us down any minute.
We waited at a corner a block away for about half an hour. The cops hadn't shown up yet and I'm freezing so we slowly walk back to her car, watching for anyone. We don't see anything and as we get to the car, I see flyers on each windshield...Shit. I'm an idiot. As we're driving away I see this old guy, flyers in hand, standing on the street. | called the cops on an old guy that was putting election campaign flyers on the cars. |
t3_3ej4mb | tifu | TIFU by pouring salt-saturated water into my sinuses | A little background, I have an almost chronic nose blockage, i'm talking absolutely no air going in or out of my nose, and it usually happens at night when I try to sleep. I usually take some Otrivin nasal spray to help with it, or else I wake up every 5 minutes gasping for air.
Now yesterday, I had a blocked nose again. I reached for my spray bottle and found it empty. I blew my nose, took a hot shower and tried to go to sleep, but not being able to breath put a huge hamper on my rest. I was too lazy to go get another bottle from the pharmacy, so I read a bit online and found that salty water can help with the congestion.
Now the recipe that most people use called for 250ml of water and 1/2 a TEAspoon of salt. I used a small bottle of about 40ml and mixed in 3 TABLESPOONS OF SALT.
I shook it up and poured a huge amount straight into my sinuses.
Immediately I felt an extremely painful burning sensation in my nose, throat and sinuses, before I started rolling on the floor, shouting, with so much tears, blood, snot and spit coming out of my eyes, nose, mouth and even my fucking ears. My face fucking exploded.
Now my mother comes in at this time and sees me screaming in pain with bloodshot eyes and explosive nasal discharge and started freaking out, thinking I had some kind of disease or something, and I had to convince her for 20 minutes to not take me to the hospital while I was rolling around in excruciating pain. | I poured extremely salty water into my nose, my face exploded and my mom thought I had cancer. |
t3_2kxes1 | tifu | TIFU by revealing to my classmates I have a learning dissability. | Because of recent problems with testing (not from lack of knowledge but from the way tests are conducted) I revealed to some fellow nursing students that as a child I was diagnosed with severe ADHD and mild dyslexia. The word got around and I was informed about the implications that my medication can have on my education and so will be willingly taking a drug test with proper proof of documentation for legitimacy of need for the medications. However what I was informed about is that if I was ever brought in for questioning in the future about any incidents with patients that I will potentially take care of, my documented diagnosis of Dyslexia could bring into questioning by legal teams, as to my ability to perform the necessary duties of a nurse and my right to provide care to patients. I have on a couple occasions revealed in confidence my condition to 2 different clinical instructors and they have expressed their commendation for my understanding of the learning I have achieved and my performance in the clinical settings. I also currently work at a hospital as a CNA and have multiple times been commended for my work ethic and ability. All that being said I am now worried about my future as a healthcare provider and the potential for legal action against me. | revealing I'm dyslexic might have fucked up my Nursing future. |
t3_10du6v | AskReddit | Reddit, what is something cool you've found completely by chance? | Today started off just like any other day off, I was bored, watching Netflix and waiting for people to wake up to go do something. My family and I decided we wanted to go and get our library cards today. Nothing out of the ordinary..except not a single fucking book I went in to get was there.
So, down on my luck and without any books I was interested in, I took to searching the library's catalog to try and find a book I would read every year throughout school. Through the Ice by Piers Anthony and Robert Kornwise.
They didn't have it. I figured the chances would be slim; this book went out of print a long time ago and our library doesn't send books in to be repaired anymore due to cost, they just sell them off.
Sad that I still had nothing to show for driving around town at two of the libraries, my cousin asks if we can go see if a friend of his is working in a recycled book store in town. I said sure, why not?
We go inside and he looks for his friend and I go on my quest to find a book. I figure maybe they have an old beat up copy of my favorite book that I can take home.
I look for Piers Anthony's section, at the very bottom of the shelf, and I damn near shit myself.
Not only is there a copy of Through the Ice, but there on that shelf sat a hard-cover, 1st edition in perfect condition. For 13 fucking dollars. | I found a 1st edition, perfect condition hard-cover of my favorite book in the world. |
t3_2lsuyp | relationships | [20/f] My boyfriend [20/m] of 2+ years is looking for girls on r/dirtypenpals; what do I do? | He's always been a Redditor and we usually go on together; about a week ago he was Redditing on his phone but wouldn't show me what he was doing. I noticed it was a different username than the one he normally uses. I searched it later that day and he's made a bunch of posts on r/dirtypenpals (a NSFW subreddit; it's basically a bunch of people looking to talk dirty online/send nude Snapchats/whatever). He's been asking to roleplay scenarios, message girls, asking for kiks/snapchats, and just talking about different sexual fetishes.
I did a bad thing.
I know his passwords so I logged in as him. He had over 50 messages in his inbox: nudes, Snapchats, kiks, dirty messages. He even made a separate Snapchat username.
I am devastated. We have had a very happy, healthy relationship and our sex life is not lacking in quality or quantity. We're both college students and we spend plenty of time together; I have never been worried about anything like this before. He has also never communicated any of these sexual desires to me before and I am wondering why.
What do I do? Do I admit I was being a creep and ask him about it? Do I hope it just stops? If this is going to continue I can't stay with him. | Boyfriend is sending sexual messages to girls via Reddit but I found out by being semi-creepy, previously happy/healthy relationship is in jeopardy. |
t3_38w82d | relationships | How do you deal with monogamy? | Hello everyone [26M here],
I've been married for 5 years now, and we have a daughter [2y]. My wife [27F] has been the most supporting person ever, and has tried her hardest to support me and my life goals.
My wife is also the person whom I gave my V-card to. For many years, I've been content with my sex life with her.
Unfortunately, I've lately realized that I'm just not the monogamous type. I tend to see sex (defined as the act of putting my rod in someone's box) as little more than recreation, instead of the emotional bonding moment that a lot of people see. Of course, I see the emotional aspects as well when I have sex with my wife, but I frankly see nothing wrong with polyamory.
I'm not sure why, but I think my sex drive has outgrown my wife's. Nonetheless, I still wish to try my hardest to remain monogamous, just as my wife has tried her hardest to be supportive of me and my life goals. I am going to **choose** monogamy because I love my wife.
What are some of the tips and tricks you use to stave off the temptation to sleep around? It's bothersome that I keep thinking about cheating. It would break her heart, and mine too, but my dick just won't stop trying to take over my brain.
P.S. >> My wife is **absolutely not** polyamorous in any way, shape, or form. | Short of castration, what are some of the tricks you use to stave yourselves from sleeping around? |
t3_1h8oj7 | relationships | Me[18M] with my 'girlfriend' [19F] on/off 7 months, she's indecisive about being public | Hello everybody, thanks for reading, I'm in a really tough spot right now. Be blunt and brutally honest if necessary.
This girl I've been on/off with is somebody I've loved for a very long time, she was my best friend for 3 years before I finally swept her off her feet. She's my first love and I'd do anything for her. Problem is, when I 'broke the friend zone' she was in a relationship. We agreed not to do anything until she broke up with him, so when she did I thought we would be able to be together.
What happened instead is the relationship has gotten really complicated. I know she loves me based on how she acts around me, but she doesn't want to be public about the relationship at all. She is to certain people, but when it comes to her family and her close friends, nobody knows about us. I find this frustrating, but I ignore it because I love her and I want her to be happy.
I feel like we should be able to be more public now, but she's afraid of being judged because the guy she used to be with was very popular amongst her family, despite making her unhappy.
Myself and her are serious, we've had sex and we try to have a date or two per week with each other, and we talk almost every day. I want to be able to transition smoothly for her to being more public about our relationship, without making her feel like I'm forcing her to.
Even if this requires rebuilding the relationship or something like that. I just don't know where to start, which is why I made this account and this thread.
Thanks in advance for the help. | Finally won the heart of a girl I've loved for years, now she doesn't want to be public about the relationship even though we've been together for 7 months. How to start transitioning to being more public? |
t3_45xnxv | relationships | Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years thinking about breaking up over our sex life | I'm fairly happy with my girlfriend, but ever since the beginning it's felt like I haven't had the same effort reciprocated back to me when it comes to sex. She's a very shy person and I always just assumed it would get better as she came out of her shell. It honestly has gotten worse.
I always initiate, which I'm usually fine with, but it'd just be nice to feel wanted like that sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm more attracted to her than she is to me. When she says she's tired I offer to do the work and just let her relax, but if I say I'm tired we just don't do anything. We also almost never have sex more than once in a day. We've done it twice maybe 2-3 times, but we've never had those all day or all night events that should happen in passionate relationships (in my opinion).
I'm also a very sexually adventurous person, where as she can be very vanilla in the bedroom, claiming to have to no kinks. Which kind of discourages me to bring up mine. We have handcuffs and toys that we buy, then use once or twice and then they just gather dust.
We've both talked and fought about this and things will change on either side for a little bit and then it just goes back to normal. I don't want to break up but it feels like that's the direction we're headed in. Is there a different way I should approach her with this? | I don't feel like I'm getting the same energy given to me that I'm putting in sexually and I don't want to break up. How would you talk to her about this? |
t3_410mzl | relationships | He's [37M] been cheated on in the past. How do I [27F] ease his mind? | I've been sleeping with Mark for about 9 months now. I like him (maybe even love him) and I know that he likes me too and seems to be pretty fond of me. Last week I finally broached the subject of us officially dating. He is very hesitant and unsure, as he has been cheated on in his past two relationships (the latest of which was a marriage).
I have also been cheated on (profusely; dozens of times in an 8 year marriage), so I understand having trust issues...I actually thought I would never trust a man or want to get into a relationship ever again, but for some reason I totally trust Mark.
How do you help someone get over trust issues? Obviously it takes time, and you just have to be patient...but is there anything to do to help the process along? I don't really even know what worked for me; something about Mark is just different than any guy I've ever met (gag me with a spoon, I know). | I want a relationship with my fuckbuddy, but he has trust issues. How do I help? |
t3_14xurs | BreakUps | Girlfriend [18] of 3 years broke up with me [18] two days ago. I don't know how to handle the situation, more info in the thread. | Friday, she came to my house and said she wanted out. I asked her why, and she said that she loves me more than anything in the world, and that she loves being with me, but that she feels she needs to do it for some reason.
I'm torn to pieces, and i managed to convince her to think for a week, alone, making sure she's absolutely sure this is what she wants. She agreed, and went home crying from my place. I've been looking to my cellphone and facebook every 5 minutes since and I just don't know how to recover, and what is worse is that the feeling lingers that she might actually come back, and i feel as though I'm the centerpiece of some cruel cruel game.
Yesterday i managed to speak to her on Facebook, and i spoke my mind entirely, and my heart, and finished off by saying goodnight and that atleast now i could feel as though i'd done everything i could to preserve what beautiful love we shared. And she actually wrote "Goodnight, my love" as a response, and later "You're gorgeous when you smile." It hurts so much, because this leads me to believe she might actually return to me, and it's going to worsen the final decision so much more if it's the other way around.
Please, i don't know what to do people. I posted this thread firstly to AskReddit, which redirected me to Relationships, where a mod redirected me to here. Hopefully this thread doesn't need to move any more .. Thanks for reading. | Girlfriend broke up with me, don't know how to handle there being a possibility of her coming back, and even the possibility of never being able to hold her again. 3 years is a long time to be together, and she is practically my better half. |
t3_45snx2 | relationships | Should I [27 M] ask her [30 F] if it bothers her that I like her? | This will probably turn out different than you think based on the title, but I couldn't really think of a better way to say it.
At the end of last year, I started dating a girl who was new to the area. Things went very well for a while, but then a bunch of things hit her all at once: work stress, holiday stress (her family is a nightmare and she dreads spending the holidays with them), depression, and the lingering doubts left by a failed marriage. Ultimately, she had to take some time for herself and realized that she's not in a position to pursue a relationship, but she still liked me and wanted me around. I'm fine with that; I care about her, and can be patient. In point of fact, I wanted to be a person who would stick by her and be someone that she could depend on. She was aware that I still had feelings for her, and seemed receptive to that. Really, not much changed between us except that we eliminated most of the more intimate aspects of the relationship. We spend a lot of time together, and I probably see more of her than anyone else in my life at the moment (and the same is true for her).
Recently, though, I feel like she's been more uncomfortable by this arrangement and might just be too nice to say anything about it. Really, I'd like to do what's best for her, and that might be to move on and let her have her time to herself. But if that's what she wants, I doubt she'll come to me to talk about it for fear of being a "burden" (one of her biggest personal fears). Should I confront her and ask her if my feelings for her bother her? Am I crazy for trying to be optimistic about this, or am I looking at a lost cause through rose-colored glasses? | I like her and she liked me, but ultimately, she decided that she couldn't handle a relationship with everything else going on in her life. Now, it's unclear how she feels about how I feel about her. Should I ask her if my feelings for her bother her and if she needs me to step back? |
t3_3ou9xe | relationships | I [21F] have a 'crush' on [24/M], don't know if I should make a move? | So I work at a lot of different stores for my job and there's a guy at one of them that has recently become very nice after previously being pretty cold, and seemingly disinterested in life.
Naturally when anyone is nice to me I instantly 'fall in love' and now have a stupid crush that I can't seem to get over. I'd really love to make a move and in most other situations I would, but I'm afraid of rejection and just general embarrassment because I can't avoid him if it doesn't go well, and I also hate the thought of other people in the workplace knowing and discussing it.
I don't know him too well, which is just why I'd like to ask for a drink sometime or something, but he seems nice enough not to be a dick about it. I just don't know whether to make a move, or just forget it | want to ask a guy on a date but I can't avoid him if he says no/I totally misjudged him and he's awful about it |
t3_10c0bg | self | Reddit, how do I deal with feelings of overwhelming envy? | I'm sincerely *tired* of being so envious and jealous. It's not even exciting anymore. I can't even turn into something witty or snide. I never cared that it made me look like a bratty, immature spiteful 'hater', but at this point in my life, I just am tired of it eating my soul away. I feel like it brings me so much unhappiness. Envy leads to anger and bitterness, and often usually, depression and feelings of worthlessness. It's like a cancer I can't seem to remove from myself. I try to be grateful for what I have, and I know I'm lucky, but not nearly as much as some of my relatives, friends...strangers. It's all very childish, but I can't help it.
I can hardly be happy for other people's accomplishments because I feel worthless in comparison, so I guess I try to appease myself by being a total prick about it. I hate seeing other people have nice things, especially when I feel like they never have to work for them, it's literally, just handed to them. But really, what I find most disturbing and yet unshakable in me, is how I envy *people's happiness*. I feel like a vampire. Sometimes I sincerely want to suck the happiness out of people just so they're as miserable as I am. God, this sounds so awful, but it's sadly, how I feel. | My envy is eating away at me, I feel like an emotional vampire and I'm just tired of being like this, but it seems so wrapped in my psyche, I don't even know how to live without my envy. |
t3_404px0 | dating_advice | I (21 M) have been on a couple dates with a girl (22 F) that I went to college with. I could see myself marrying this girl. I'm wondering how long my fellow Redditors spent courting their significant others. | So this girl, we'll call her "Maya", went to the same college I did. We kissed a couple of times in college, and would always dance when we saw each other out at the bar. But Maya and I were never anything more than that.
About six months after we graduated, I decided to ask Maya on a date. She said yes, and we had an awesome evening together cooking dinner at her apartment. We went on one more date after that. Since then, she has cancelled a couple of would-be dates we had made due to scheduling conflicts.
Normally, I wouldn't deal with that. My general rule is that if a girl cancels on me twice, I move on. But it's different with Maya. I think her excuses for cancelling were legitimate, and as I said, I have a major thing for her.
But I also think Maya is using the cancellations to figure out how much effort I'm willing to put in to dating her. It sounds stupid, but she knows she's a quality girl. She's never slept around, she's kind, she's funny, and is generally a great person. She wants to make sure I'm for real before she lets her walls down.
So my question to you, Reddit, is this -- how long did you spend courting the person you knew was the one for you? It's a strange feeling for me to continue to pursue a person after they have broken two dates. I'm curious about you all's experience with situations like this. | Girl I like has broken dates and shut down my advances, but I think she likes me too. How long should I spend "courting" her? |
t3_41h8qc | tifu | TIFU by destroying the lawn mower | So this happened about 10 years ago, when I [22M] was a little 12 year old shithead.
I was instructed by my stepmother to mow the lawns. Apparently 5 inches high on a country property in AUS is TOO LONG.
It was 40 degrees celcius and I was sweating like crazy. I immediately tried to argue this 'order' from the dragon to which I received: "Mow the fucking lawns!" Righto bitch-tits, let me die in the heat then.
So away I went, filled up the ride-on mower with petrol, checked the oil, chucked on my ipod with mufflers over the top to protect my little ears.
Well I thought I broke the Australian speed mowing record that day, riding the mower up towards the house, all I could think about was how good a job I had done.
Little did I know that I was heading for a new garden bed that had been put in between the house and me. Well I just drove straight over this wood and steel built side of the garden, obliterated the new plants, and bent the blades to shit. The blades went up through the motor belt and chassis of the mower, then broke off and straight into the motor.
This was not a good move, as my dad and stepmum saw the whole thing.
The next thing I remember was the mower catching on fire, dad running to get the fire extinguisher and my stepmum screaming: " YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING CHILD ON THE EARTH".
I got grounded for like a year, and basically verbally abused for the next month about how much of a disgusting piece of shit I was. | Broke Aus mowing record, ran over a garden bed, blew up the ride-on mower, grounded forever. |
t3_1ewuip | self | "Nude" bras | So the other day on Reddit, a few people were discussing how it is "common sense" to wear a nude bra under white clothes instead of a white bra. Well, I absolutely had no idea of this.
I often wear t-shirts, and I usually wear a white bra. So today I decided to try this out because it seems so ridiculous. So i got out of the shower, and put my nude bra on. My skin is naturally quite pale, and my nude bra is not pale, so i was thinking "no way this will not stand out." So I put on my white t-shirt, and i could not see the bra AT ALL. I thought "well maybe I will see the straps if i turn around" so I do, and nope. When I wear a white bra I can see the white straps!
So...I guess it SHOULD be common sense to wear a nude bra under white clothing, even if it is not your skin color. It is ridiculous to me that i never knew this, considering my mom was the one who told me to always wear white under white. I just got a job at steak n shake, and I was worried about my bra showing under thin white clothing, but now I bet I do not even have to worry about it! | wear a nude bra under white clothing |
t3_2oia6j | dating_advice | Me [22M] gave [21F] massage. Does it mean anything? I felt connection but did she? | During a filming for our student movie this winter during our break at the location, this girl who I just met only once previously sits down and asks if anyone wants to give her a back massage because her neck is hurting.
Everyone sitting down passes so I volunteer doing it and she lets me give her a good massage for about 10min. I stroke her back, shoulders and even her rub her earlobes. After she asks all sorts of questions about me almost to the point of interrogation.
I think to myself, okay this definitley means she likes me. However after that she tries to avoid me all day during the set. I try to speak to her but she seems cold.
How should i interpret these signals? Is she trying to tell me to back off as it didn't mean anything or is she playing mind games? | Give girl i barley know passionate massage, does it mean anything? |
t3_1h5tyy | relationships | Me [17M] and a girl [16F] I met a couple of days ago made out and it got awkward the same day | So I am at this summer camp thing and met that amazing girl! We laughed, look at each other, we were attracted to each other and finally made out until then we were in the exact same class.
However, the next day, we had to get into other classes because we were into different program. There is another she started talking to and I tend to be a bit jealous even though I don't show it. But overall, it was different she wasn't asking me to sit next to her anymore she wasn't really talking to me as much so I don't know if she just played with me or want me to make a move.
I really suck with speaking to people because I don't know what to say. I want to make her laugh again and take her in my arms like it isn't anything special. I used to say that nothing is awkward if you don't make it awkward but here I don't know. I have been good with relations and I have always been given advice but here I am lost.
I have never got to like a girl in such a short time and I don't want to regret anything.
Even though it is late, is anybody able to give me some quick advice? | met a girl kissed and it is now AWKWARD! |
t3_2039d0 | pettyrevenge | My sister's boyfriend | I was petting his dog and making it do tricks for treats, when he came in and said 'I'd like it if you acted normal against the dog'
Somehow, that broke something in me. He doesn't care for the dog and completely ignores it 99% of the time.
As revenge I blocked all his devices from the wireless access points we have, waited for him to plug in a cable and then unblocked them. He is now locked to a desk with his laptops, and switches cables whenever he has to change laptop. He hasn't tried if it's working constantly asks me it is yet. It has been for over a week. | Asshat dog abuser tries who has the power |
t3_3ev7zp | relationships | I'm [22 F] looking for a solution for my boyfriend [26 M] 's sweat. | Okay I know this may look kind of troll-ish so I just want to clarify that I'm dead serious. Obviously this gets much worse in a close proximity or in the summer time, but my boyfriend gets so sweaty. He is really hairy and I think it just makes him so overheated. I can't make him shave his body hair cause he's a stereotypical macho Mexican and proud of being hairy and manly. But whenever we go out to dance or sleep next to each other or have sex I end up covered in his sweat and it's uncomfortable. What do I do?
Sincerely,
secondhand sweat sweetheart. | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_50g7o9 | personalfinance | (CAN) Can a "college experience" justify a more expensive university? | Throwaway for privacy. I will try to keep this brief.
My financial situation: Senior in high school, ~$4,000 in savings, no current job, RESP from parents worth ~$20,000, upper middle class with parents probably earning ~$200,000+ a year (not sure exact salary).
I am currently applying for universities, and though I will apply to several, I'm really only going to probably choose between two. University A being more prestigious (one of the top universities in Canada). University B is slightly less acclaimed, though still respectable, and cheaper. With this university there is also the guarantee of a sizeable ($10,000+) scholarship directly dependant on my grades. There's a chart on their website that X grade = X scholarship.
The problem is this: The reason university B is so much cheaper is that I will not be living on campus. It will take ~30 minutes by bus to get there, versus 1.5 hours for university A. The tuition itself is only slightly less, but adding the cost of a mandatory food plan and a room makes university A about ~$18,000 per year versus maybe $8,000 for university B.
At this point in my life I feel very ready to get a little more independence and live on my own. University A also has a very specialized and acclaimed first year program that I'm very interested in. My parents have said that they will help me a lot, but they're certainly not going to go into massive debt for me, nor would I want them to. I'm not planning on getting a car, the university pays for a free transit pass, and I'm not the type to spend a lot on clothes or booze. I'm willing to work throughout my first and second year and during the summer, and my program has co-op opportunites. I will probably accrue some loans, but probably not a lot. For what it's worth Canada has recently announced that student loans no longer need to be paid until I'm making at least $25,000 a year, if that matters. What are your thoughts? | Choosing between a more expensive university with a better potential experience and a less expensive university where I'll still live at home. |
t3_2tdsod | legaladvice | I [23M] and a good friend of mine [20F] decided today that we want to get married. | Before I begin, both I and my future wife are in Wisconsin, USA.
However, we are planning on this being only a temporary marriage. I'm gay and want kids and she, after having a rough childhood, wants stability and someone who can be at her side to help her into the future.
We were thinking about looking into a contract- a prenup of sorts that would lay the foundations of a temporary, 5 year marriage since that'd be plenty of time to have kids while providing her the stability to finish up college. We were looking to define the terms within a context of a prenup- near-separate finances only share the costs of living that affect us both while also helping to take care of the kids. As for the children, we were looking to defining the terms of custody with the terms being something comparable to every other week.
Ultimately, we plan on the marriage being fairly open and we are only intending it to last 5 years with a divorce that will hopefully be as clean cut as possible.
So with all of this in mind, what, if any, legal ramifications do we need to be prepared for? (We're in the US btw) How would we go about establishing this contract and how effective would it be in a divorce? We still intend to be in each others' lives as friends and may even share a house or a duplex so that the kids can be around us.
And finally, what would be the best way to go about explaining this to our families? Has this kind of thing been done before and is there has there been any research looking into the total effect of such a marriage? | I and my friend are looking to enter a utility marriage and we want to know what the best way to do it is. |
t3_132uvi | relationships | I (f 27) need help communicating with my boyfriend (m 27) | We have been together 9 years. I have hesitated in asking for advice because we have had an incredibly complicated and life-changing year together, and I never knew exactly what issue to focus on. But we have both agreed in the past that communication is an issue we really need to work on, especially me.
I come from a family that does not talk about problems, complicated life issues, or anything that could potentially cause negative emotions. We keep everything to ourselves and basically pretend that life is all sunshine and rainbows. I'm not looking to shake things up with my immediate family (mother, father, sister) but I want to change myself when it comes to other relationships. I pretty much have no experience with conflict in relationships.
When I was younger, and there was a problem between my boyfriend and I, I would act upset but tell him nothing was wrong, the cliché performance in which the girl just wants the guy to guess what is wrong with her and fix it. I knew it was annoying and ineffectual, so I learned to be a really good actor. Now when something is bothering me, I put lots of effort into not letting him know anything is wrong.
I guess the problem lies somewhere between feelings and words. I don't know how to vocalize my emotions. And when I finally decide to talk to him about something, my mind goes blank and I am left confused and drained. I have been reading this subreddit for a while and everyone always touts communication as one of the most important factors of a relationship. So I guess my question is, how? Got any good tips? I know another favorite piece of advice is therapy/counseling, but it is not in our budget to do so at the moment. | How do I communicate my needs, complaints, points of view etc. to my boyfriend? |
t3_2zq110 | tifu | TIFU by putting info in a forwarded meeting invite I didn't think people would see | I put my opinion in a email invite that I was forwarding to another coworker. Something along the lines of "there's no way we should do that, it's a terrible idea".
I just got an email from the organizer of the meeting (person who's idea it is) with a decline of the person I'd forwarded too... with my note that talks about how it's a bad idea and we need to figure out how to squash it.
I have the meeting in 5 minutes and haven't felt this anxious in a while... I have my shovel ready... either going to dig myself out of a hole or dig my own political grave... nothing like making a good impression on people much higher than you in the organization. | don't put any sensitive info in email, always talk live. |
t3_42u2bs | relationships | My old time friend [52 M] and I [52 M] have lunch a couple times a year, and I need advice on redirecting the conversations. | We've known each other since high school, and worked at the same job for nearly 10 years before going our separate ways.
I have nothing against the guy, we've just grown apart. I owe his family more than I can ever repay because they helped me out in a big-big way long ago. I really don't want to offend.
Now, I know this may seem petty. Maybe this only advice is shut up and deal. I'm hoping for something else.
The problem: the last several times we've had lunch or whatever he always launches in to a very long, like 20-30 minute, anecdotes on a topic that means nothing to me. Always the same topic, and it bores me to tears.
I'm not good at being assertive, and I don't want to be a dick. In my head, I'm thinking, "Please, god, not another *X* story. Anything but that."
We talk about other things, but at the first lull, here we go...
It's to the point I want to avoid even seeing him. | Old friend keeps talking about things I have no connection with. Need advice on deflecting these stories. |
t3_4n57ts | relationships | Me [23F] with my dad [40 something M], contacting him after he left my mom [42F] when he found out she was pregnant. | Hello,
So, a couple of weeks back, I had to rush my mom to the hospital and we started talking about the families that we saw in the emergency room and she told me in passing that I should get in contact with my dad.
Now, my dad left my mom when they were 19 years old and found out that she was pregnant with me. Turns out that his family doesn't approve of her since she's not a doctor while his whole family is and my mom raised me by herself. In my 23 years of experience, I've never met him once. Although, every few years he tries to get into contact with me, the most "recent" was 8-9 years ago when he went to my grandmother's house and hoped that I was there.
Anyway, I shelved the idea of meeting him cause I was lazy to look for him but I came across his dad's contact details when I was looking for a doctor to have my injury assessed.
When I saw the details, I decided to do a full person search then I came across his SIL and brother's Facebook accounts (I don't think he has cause I've been looking non stop and I've gotten nowhere. I even thought he's already dead but apparently he's still alive based on his SIL's pictures). I asked my mom if I should contact him; she said yes but asked me for what purpose and also wanted me to be ready for the consequences. I told her that I just want to meet him. For closure perhaps? but honestly, I don't feel empty not knowing him. Just incredibly curious.
So reddit, do you think I should contact him and invite him for coffee to get to know him or would it be better if I don't and forget about him for the rest of my life?
Thank you so much | Mom told me to contact my dad. Didn't take it seriously until I saw my dad's father's contact details while searching for a doctor to treat my injury. Should I still contact him after 23 years of not knowing him? |
t3_3q3yqz | relationships | I [20M] have low to no sex drive and my gf [20F] wants to engage in bedroom activities often | Hello, all. This is my first time posting, but I need some advice. I'll try to keep this short, and thank you in advance.
I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year, and I love her very much. Before I met her I watched porn a lot, and in the beginning of our relationship it didn't affect us much.
About 6 months into our relationship, I started cutting out porn, and now I don't watch it at all. I often read things about people's sex drive increasing when they stop watching porn, increased energy, and a few other things. I seem to be experiencing most of the positive feelings except for the increased sex drive.
It has gotten to the point where my girlfriend thinks I'm not attracted to her. That's definitely not the case. I love her, I think she's beautiful, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past which has affected my sex drive before, but I'm in a much better place now, so
I don't think that's the reason for my lack of sex drive.
Is there any way I can increase my sex drive, or am I hopeless? | I have no sex drive whereas my girlfriend has high sex drive. What can I do to increase my sex drive? |
t3_3076df | relationships | I [21 M] am planning a proposal for my gf [21 F] of 2 yrs. These ideas, need help! | I love this girl, and want to love her for a very long time. We've both talked in depth about marriage, and she basically expects me to propose now (no pressure. Really, i want to). I have been planning a proposal in the back of my head for a while now, and need advice on the particulars.
*Current situation:* I am in Australia, she is back home. I return end of May, but I only have a week before i leave for my summer internship for 1.5mo. I want to propose in this timeframe, because I've already missed the window before i left. And her dad is anxious (just like me).
*Plan 1:* Take her hiking (we both love the outdoors) and propose via an edited "hiking register", the one you fill out at the beginning of the trail saying who you are, where you're traveling to, trip details, etc. She would start filling it out, then at the end there would be a section about loving your SO, then checking a box whether or not you would marry them. She turns around in confusion, and i'm there with a ring. Bam.
*Plan 2:* I have been taking pictures of my trip in Australia, and in most photos i place a certain keepsake that we both are attached to. I was thinking i could make some sort of scavenger hunt within the locations of the pictures, like bolded text that when put together and sorted and combined with a key spells out "will you marry me".
This is all very abstract, especially plan 2, but i was wondering if you people had any advice on the situation. | What is the best way to go about this proposal? I have 2 semi-ideas. |
t3_2vbb7v | relationships | I [20M] have been seeing this girl [20F], but am confused about where it is going | After about half a year after my last breakup, which was with the first girl I fell in love with, I'm ready to move on. I currently attend Uni and, unlike a lot of guys, I am using Tinder to actually meet new people. I met this girl who actually lives on the same floor as me in my apartment building. We've been hanging out for a little bit now and things seem good, albeit it's moving a long a little quick.
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Our personalities click very well. The way we act around each other is very relationship-y. The thing is she told me that she isn't "looking for a serious relationship", and that she "won't lie, but [she is] seeing other people". Which to me is okay because we are technically not dating (and she also just broke up with her boyfriend of two years), although we hang out a lot and will be going on a date next Tuesday.
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I asked her if she does the stuff with me that she does with other guys she recently met and she said no. That being said, I do feel jealous that she is seeing other guys (mainly via Tinder), is it wrong of me to be jealous?
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But last night she was drinking with one of her girl friends and she sent me stuff along the lines of "I like you a lot" and what not.
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I guess I'm scared, because I don't want to be used again because I had thing with another girl in December, but she used me for comfort mainly, but in hindsight that's not a big deal because I wasn't completely over my ex. Am I overthinking everything?
__ | Met girl via dating app, act very couple-y (kissing, making-out, cuddling, holding hands in public), she says she doesn't want to be in a relationship but is sending mixed signals, am I overthinking it? Should I just talk to her? |
t3_44p1ec | books | My Grandfather just gave me his entire set of Frank Herbert's *Dune* w/pictures | I'm a freshman in college and on my Thanksgiving trip back home I bought myself a $10 copy of Dune and decided to give it a shot. I fell in love almost instantly. When my grandfather found out he informed me that he was a huge fan and had hardbacks for all 17 books in the series (multiple series?).
A month later he gave me his first edition book club copy of the original *Dune*, which quickly became my most cherished possession. Fast forward two months later and I get a box in the mail containing the rest of the series (a few more book club copies but mostly nothing special). Needless to say I'm ecstatic.
I guess now that I have them all I'm a little flustered. Between school work and life it's going to take years to get through them all. I also know they span thousands of years and were written by both Frank Herbert and his son. Any suggestions on what order to read them in? I'm also going to leave a link to all the books in chronological order.
P.S. My knowledge on the series is very limited as of right now so please correct any mistakes I may have made. | I got some dope books in the mail |
t3_2l58u9 | relationships | Me [18F] with my IDK [18M] clarifying where we stand. | Copied first para from previous post since only one user replied: This boy seemed pretty serious about getting to know me. He talked to my good friend for advice about getting to know me, which colleges I was looking at, and seemed to want something long term. This pleased me because I was looking for a relationship too. We hung out once and made out a couple times with heavy patting, and he hasn't contacted me since. I think if a guy is truly interested in me, he'd do anything to reach out to me, and I know he's not busy. I'm not too upset, but my pride is wounded. I'm also really disappointed because he seemed like a genuinely good guy who prefers commitment over mindless hookups. What could have made him change his mind? Or was his agenda never to date me?
* * *
About a day later: we briefly saw each other and said hi, but in a friendly way. I'm worried this is going to head down the friends with benefits path. Should I tell him that either we treat our one unofficial "date" as a hookup and stay nothing more than friends, or we go out? I'm not into the middle path..its too messy and feelings get hurt. | clarifying where boy and I stand. too aggressive or ok to be honest? |
t3_frj47 | relationships | How do you handle a long distance relationship over multiple years? (x-post from AskReddit) | I am a senior, graduating in spring and starting graduate school in either archaeology or museum studies this autumn. My fiancée, a material scientist, is also graduating but is getting a job. We have been together 2.5 years and intend to get married as soon as I finish school, it would be sooner but I need federal money to pay for school and it is much harder to get if you are married. The problem is the places where he can get jobs are not where my schools are so we are looking at 2-3 years of separation while I finish my Master's degree. There is one school that I could go to where we could possibly be together, I have not gotten their decision yet. I cannot do online since my degree is very lab oriented. He does not yet have a job but it is quite likely he will get one doing material science in Seattle, San Francisco, Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, or Raleigh/Durham. While the schools I applied to are in Seattle, College Station, Tampa, Vancouver, Calgary, Saskatoon, and Indianapolis (I'm already accepted here, the rest I haven't heard from yet).
I'm 20 (21 in Sept), female, he is 22 (23 in June) | Young 20's engaged couple having to live in separate parts of the country for schooling, looking for tips. |
t3_1163nf | self | I'm going through something known as depersonalisation as we speak, I was just wondering if Reddit had any insight into what i'm going through. | I feel a little backstory is necessary to understanding what's caused this. In February of this year, my brother tried to kill himself. It wasn't me who was of concern here, so i buckled up and helped him through. Luckily he didn't suffer lasting damage, but his psyche was completely dependent on my help and advice. In a lot of ways, he was me, just older and less prepared. For a good three months, I looked after him as he got back on the horse, however during this time, other tensions were mounting. To cut a long story short, My sister went into rehab, and my parents split up, sending my mother into a spiral of hate. This was besides before this, I was dealing with my own anxiety and depression beforehand.
And how do i feel about this now? Nothing. I can't want anything. I don't feel anything and I don't care for anything or anyone. I want to feel scared that i'm like this, but i can't. I don't feel motivation to do or think. I've been stuck before, but never like this. I feel as if i've given in, but not of my own accord. | I cant feel, wat do? |
t3_3vvxil | tifu | Tifu by telling my stay at home wife that her life is boring | My wife (33f) and I (31m) have been together for over 5 years and I have told her since day one that I would do whatever possible irt income so she could focus on our children (10m and 1f) and herself. Currently I work 1 full time job, 1 part time job and take 18 credits per semester. Rarely am I home, yet when I am home my wife tells me about her day. Usually this entails what our infant threw up, how slow our son was moving or what she found on Facebook. I have encouraged her to partake in whichever hobby she wants. Crochet, singing, and now gardening. Now today we spoke and I told her when I get home hearing about what she says isn't interesting or thought provoking. I don't intend to be dismissive or make it seem like I don't care. It's just not interesting. | wife doesn't have much going on in her life and I told her she is boring |
t3_y28vf | AskReddit | Reddit what is the farthest you have gone to win a bet and/or challenge? | Last Sunday I gave two of my best mates a challenge and a week to accomplish said challenge and the winner would get a my not so old smart phone and a service plan paid for. The challenge? They had to either reach second base or score with a woman from a different country, receive fellatio from a woman that was 76kg or more (not bad) , OR having any intimate interaction with a gay guy or a transsexual person. So one of them not wanting to have the opportunity to lose went straight to a gay guy at the bar and kissed him knowing that he could not be one up'd by the other. All before his first beer of the night. He ended up winning and will now be reading this from his smart phone. So reddit, what's the farthest you've gone to win a bet and/or challenge? | One of my friends' kissed a gay guy in order to win a challenge, all while sober. |
t3_2puqll | relationship_advice | I'm (21F) in my first relationship ever. How do I express something that I don't really like so much without sounding like I'm trying to tell him (21M) what do or without sounding like a bitch? :( | There are a few times that I've avoided voicing my opinion or talking about certain subjects because of the fear of being cast as controlling. How do you ladies deal with that?
For example, I don't like smoking weed. As in I personally don't like how it feels, and I don't really like being around people who are high. But I don't care at all that my friends smoke, and I just don't partake when that's what they want to do. Same thing applies with my boyfriend. When he wants to smoke with his friends, that's totally fine. But I really have no interest in hanging out with him during or after.
If I tell him that, I'm afraid that it will just sound like me trying to say that I don't want him doing it at all. Or like "I'm not gonna hang out with you if you smoke," as if I'm giving him an ultimatum.
FUCK IM SO BAD AT THIS. HELP :( | how to express my dislike of something without sounding passive aggressive |
t3_1gq1ne | relationship_advice | [21/f] i don't think my (28/m) SO would love me if we didn't have sex. | it's breaking my heart.
little bit of back story: I was first raped by a boyfriend, when I was 13, I was then raped by a stranger while I was living in the USA on my 15th birthday. My dad left to live in America when I was around 4 and I turned to the road of finding any man I could to "love" me when I was 11... Since being raped I've been strange about sex - I need control, I need to know I can say no, I need to know I'm safe.
My SO.. I guess he's never had any girl say "no" to him before, they just fell at his feet. I've always seen sex as an obligation... a way to have someone fall in love with me (i know, i know...) and when someone loves me, I'm no longer under any obligation.. you don't need to have sex all the time to stay in love.. sex doesn't make love..
I don't feel I am able to say no to my SO - when I do it turns into a huge argument. He asks for hand jobs or blow jobs instead, he complains, he tells me I don't love him.. argues that I did it with all those other boys when I was younger, why not him? I don't know what to do.. We've broken up before - we came back to each other after both being with other people.. I do believe we love each other, I just think there's a lot of me that he doesn't love. I don't think he accepts my issues or problems - I don't address them because I don't feel ready.
I don't know what to do, or how to compromise, or how to talk about this.. we've been together for over a year..help me. | Been together for over a year, I've got serious issues with sex, and he gets angry with me every time I say no. |
t3_3b6k5n | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend of 1 year [18 F], friends keep interfering with our relationship. | I apologise if this is poorly written but, it's a bit hard to explain.
As the title states, my girlfriend and I have been dating for around about a year now. I feel that we have a solid relationship, however it's not without the occasional disagreement (which I have always thought is normal in relationships).
Right now, I'm on holiday with my family. Some hours ago, my girlfriend told me that her friends have been trying to convince her to break up with me. She said that she was just brushing it off and trying to get them to shut up. She won't tell me exactly what they said but apparently she would be better off without me.
My girlfriend has told be that it bothers her that they were talking like that and doesn't know what to do - about what they are saying and with me. Evidently, this too is bothering me and I'm not sure what to do/how to handle it. I'm annoyed at her friends for this and quite frankly our relationship is none of their business. I feel, however, that they are getting to my girlfriend and I feel helpless knowing that this is going on and I'm out of country.
/r/relationships, is there anything I should be doing/can do? Thank you in advance. | Girlfriend's friends have been trying to convince her that she is better of without me while I'm out of country. What can/should I do, if anything? |
t3_dsfgw | AskReddit | Would you put it past your government to do this? | I am certainly no expert on economics or politics. I have a grasp that i would say is better than the layman, and I am literate in these areas; there are concepts that I understand and I enjoy learning more about them but something has struck me and horrified me in turn. It is leaning towards conspiracy theory, a term I don't like as it has so many negative connotations, but its an apt term, and I realise how insane my idea might sound.
Would you put it past the government, or any group of people in power, to orchestrate a credit crunch? I mean, from my basic understanding the credit crunch didn't just appear out of thin air; it was caused by a slow erosion. If the media were to uncover the conspiracy that the credit crunch was orchestrated with a deficit in mind, would you believe this?
I say this because in my own country we are facing cuts, cuts that some consider are haphard and potentially damaging. However, the excuse is that in the long run they will help. It got me thinking that a deficit is a perfect boogeyman. It is intangible, can't be touched, can't be seen. It can be used to excuse any sort of behaviour.
In Britain, the measures our government is taking is meant to reduce the deficit over 5 years. However, in 5 years all kinds of ideas can be introduced as a means to end deficit, no matter how crazy it might sound. And once in place it becomes legitimized by the deficit.
So | Would you put it past the government/elite group to orchestrate a credit crunch in order to bring about a deficit? Something that can be used to enact and legitimize otherwise unthinkable legislation. |
t3_53pilr | dogs | [Vent] Aggressive dog off leash in neighborhood | So, background, our dog is a corgi mix and she's about a year old. We know our dog isn't great when people come into our house (something we're working on) and we've been cautious about letting her interact with people/dogs while on walks until we really get to know her and train her better. We've only had her for about a month and she's our first dog.
Anyways, we were on a walk the other night when we saw a few people standing on the sidewalk talking. It looked like they had kids, too, so we decided to cross the street. Except on the other side of the street, there was a parked car with the doors open and people sitting inside. Well, it's not a busy street, so we basically walked down the middle of the street to try to keep a little distance and avoid any anxiety on our dog's part.
Turns out the group of people had a dog with them-- off its leash. The dog approached us and we kept walking, but weren't really sure what was going on. We're new dog owners, so we were thinking "Should we let them greet each other? Should we make her keep walking?" and at that point, the owner came over and said, "Sorry, she's not great with other dogs," then gave her dog a command to basically not interact with us, at which point her dog flipped out and aggressively (not playfully) lunged for our dog.
The lady picked up her dog (which was significantly larger than our 15 lb. dog) and was like, "Oh, haha, I'm sorry, she's just been this way with other dogs for a while now." My husband had picked up our dog, who was fine, but all of us were shaken up so we just kind of waved like, "Yeah, okay," and headed home. Then I started getting pissed. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. She knows that her dog is aggressive, but doesn't have her on a leash? There are TONS of kids and other dogs in this neighborhood! By the time we got home I wished I had said something to her. | Dog owner in the neighborhood knew her dog didn't get along with other dogs, but didn't have her dog on a leash while standing in their front yard. Her dog tried to attack our dog while we were out walking her. Everyone was fine, but I am pissed. |
t3_4t12x8 | relationships | I [18M] am leaving my girfriend [17F] for college in August | Next month I leave for college and me and my girlfriend have decided to stay together because even though we've only been dating about a year now, she has literally been my best friend for almost 3 years.
My college is only a 3 hour train ride from her as she is still in High School. I was just looking for any tips on how to make this relationship work long distance??
We have the deal to facetime each other a few times a week and i'm definitely going to be coming home every break to see her. Personally I'm just worried that shes going to move on and not love me anymore, while she's worried that I am going to get bored of her.
Any advice on how to make this work?? | Moving to college, how to make it work with girlfriend?? |
t3_34161l | relationships | I [23 M] think I screwed up an opportunity with a [20 F] woman, what do I do now? | Before I begin, I will actually point whomever reads this to the two previous posts that I have posted here so that you may understand the full context of this post right here.
As such, I have continued to speak with "Melissa" via Facebook and on Thursday, I truly believed I was making significant progress after I comforted her on how she carried herself during our presentation the previous day. Subsequently, Melissa made me blush after she had complimented me and I do not receive those all that often honestly.
Nevertheless, I messaged her the following day, with a very flirty message about what she was wearing Wednesday. And lo and behold, complete radio silence since though she has read it. Did I screw up something or am I reading too much into it and should continue on or move on? | Send a flirty message to a young woman I'm interested in and she has not messaged me back since. Should I move on from here or do something else? |
t3_3x1sgw | relationships | Recently divorced [30 M] with separated [29 F] few dates, mother of three | Edit: Thank you so much for helping me clear my head, I broke it off and feel like shit but part of me feels a relief. There will be someone out there for me, but I need to heal first.
She is an undocumented, mother of three, three-dog-having, fun and beautiful girl. Lives with ex, he threatened to kick her out and keep the kids. I've never had a connection with someone like this and I was married for 7 years.
She seems to be very interested but could be that it is because I have a good job and a nice place and I am her freedom for all her problems. I'm very conflicted because the things she says are quite humble and her actions demonstrate she is not interested in having me be a step dad, marry her for citizenship, or anything.
But I am extremely gullible and can't trust my judgement due to mild mental illness. How could I prove that this baggage is worth it because of the great real or manipulated fit?
I am aware that this is filled with red flags, but feel great with this person. I just got divorced a few months ago. | Falling for a trainwreck but can't look away, need help proving the great fit. |
t3_4jkpek | relationships | Me [16 M] messaged constantly by an obsessive suicidal girl [14 F] who said she loves me! | Ok, so a girl who used to be in my brothers class in fuking kindergarten (I'm not joking) has been messaging me for the past month or so. Now the problem with that is that SHE THINKS WE'VE GOT A THING BETWEEN US. She's said "I love you" like a couple times now and that she's been into me for forever. and its freaking me out. I also live halfway across the world (I moved).
I can't bring myself to tell her that I'm just not into her... I'm afraid that she'll do something to herself. Her mom passed away a year ago and she just keeps bringing it up. I really don't know what to do. | Obsessive suicidal girl who lives halfway across the world is "in love" with me. |
t3_2n077f | relationship_advice | I need advice as to how to leave my abusive boyfriend that I live with. | My boyfriend [36/m] has laid his hands on me [24/f] several times; he has substance abuse problems and a very bad temper that I believe is attributed to his problem. He has made promises that he would never do it again and that he would take care of me and protect me, but yesterday when I said that it was my goal to pay off my student loan in the next year, he said that he would be raising my rent and I would be paying more bills (like his phone bill) ** [he is also set to make 150k a year whereas I am about to graduate in December and make about 2k a month]. When I tried to ask for some understanding that I need to catch up, he pushed me, called me a cunt, said how replaceable I am and that I needed to get my stuff out by the end out of the month because I am so forgettable. | I know I need to leave, but I am broke, without a vehicle, feel alienated, and my parents live out of town... I'm just looking for some advice as to how I should leave, especially with finals 2 weeks away |
t3_4g8e5m | relationships | I [25m] want to buy my GF [27F] a gift as a congratulations for getting in to grad school. Am I overstepping? | Hi Reddit -
I'll try to keep this short. So , my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year, and lately she has just been super not into her job and wants to change careers. To do this, she has to go through a masters program. She's not where she wants to be financially, and this has really been stressing her out. This has been accelerated recently because she needs to get a computer to do her online work. I told her she could use mine, but I know that she really just needs her own.
She found one the other day that was a really good deal, but she didnt pull the trigger because of the money. I was really tempted to just say screw it and buy it, but I didn't want to come off as condescending. She does not like having to rely on other people for her success.
I on the other hand, am relatively successful for my age (Software Engineer at a large company right out of college), and financially I am in a very good spot. The few hundred bucks is not a big deal to me, and if it means she would be less stressed over the purchase of this computer - I would be happy to help her out.
I'm considering going out and just picking it up today and saying congratulations for getting in to school, I hope this helps you achieve your goals.
Would this come off as condescending? I am only trying to be helpful.
Thanks Reddit! | Girlfriend needs a computer for an online masters program but doesn't have the funds readily available to purchase it herself. I do, but don't want to come off as condescending. |
t3_3otiys | relationships | Me [25 F] and my colleague [40+M] have been going out together for five months and I'm trying to figure out what the relationship is. | For about five months, an older male (40+) colleague and I (25) have been spending time together, going out for drinks after work, spending days off going to a movie and discussing it over dinner and drinks etc. We always have a lot of fun because we have the same sense of humor and we enjoy each other's company. We spend our time together planning when we'll see each other next.
So far nothing has happened romantically. We have discussed exes before and what we want in a partner, but nothing else. There seems to be a lot of sexual tension and flirty touching and arm grazing.
We've kept our outings private and away from other colleagues' ears. He hasn't told me "don't tell anyone," but if someone leaves at the same time we do and we have plans, he'll pretend like we didn't have plans already and invite myself and whoever else along. Our workplace loves gossip and drama.
Or he's embarrassed to be with someone younger, I don't know.
My question is -- is he waiting for me to make a move? Does it seem like he's into me? What is the relationship at this point?
And before you say "be careful of workplace romances," I'm changing jobs in December, so it might not be an issue.
About him: Never married -- was cheated on by a fiancee. No kids. | I've (25F) spent five months going out with colleague (40+M) and we have an unbelievable amount of interests in common. So far it's been very flirty, but nothing romantic. Work doesn't know we've been going on outings. Is it time for me to make a move? What are we at this point? |
t3_1ve6nl | relationships | [23F] How much "verbal abuse" is normal? | I put "verbal abuse" in quotes because I'm not sure how to define it. I grew up in a home where parents said things like "You're worthless," "You're stupid," "No wonder you don't have friends," etc. I realize that's "abusive." However when people get angry or are stressed, they also snap at people, sometimes calling them annoying or yelling at them to leave them alone. When does that become "abusive?"
I have two close friends, one who's barely ever even raised her voice to me, and another who criticizes me and/or yells at me every week or so. I'm not sure who's "normal" in that case.
My boyfriend who I've been with for about a year has rarely ever snapped at me, and if he does he apologizes later on-which seems a bit odd to me.
So I'm wondering, how much yelling, snapping at, and namecalling is appropriate in a normal relationship? When does it become abusive? I ask because I don't really have a way to gauge these things. | People yell at each other and get upset with each other. When does that become "abusive?" Is it about frequency? |
t3_2ylodf | relationships | I [26M] am tutoring my ex [22F] 7 years after breakup | We ended our 4-year-old relationship 7 years ago, when we were both students. 5 years later, I accidentally got into her Facebook page via connections and liked one of her picture. The next day, my ex-girlfriend sent me a friend request and we became friends again.
Earlier this year, she told me she's going to the UK to study a Master degree, which means she had to pass the IELTS exam. She knew I'm good at English, therefore asking me to tutor her for a few weeks. As we've known each other for a long time already, our study sessions were smooth and professional (with nothing personal involved).
Eventually, her first attempt ended in a failure (0.5pt short). She was sad for a while but decided to take the test again, which is going to be at the end of March. Naturally, I started tutoring her once again. However something was strange about her this time. During our breaks between study sessions, she randomly asked me questions about my love life, such as:
- "When are you going to get a girlfriend ?"
- "Tell me about your ideal girl."
And sometimes she talked about herself too
- "You know, what I want in my boyfriend is..."
- "My life is so boring. That's why no one loves me right now..."
Sometimes she also took her time complaining about her life worries to me as well. Even though they were all her casual speeches, they made me feel something strange, as if she was hinting something.
Back then, she was the one who broke up with me, due to me not caring for her enough (I was pretty addicted to video games at that time). So I wonder in a wild chance, my ex-girlfriend forgot about what I did to her and started warming up to me again ? Personally, I wouldn't mind getting back with her since she was one of the best girl I've ever met. However, I'm not sure if she also wants that. What's your opinion ? | 7 years after breakup, incidentally I started tutoring my ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. She's showing signs that make me wonder if she wants to get back together, yet subtly. Is that true or am I reading into it too much ? |
t3_25xdvu | AskReddit | What are some good ways to de-stress or "get away from everything" in hard times? | Bit of exposition... I've been having a shit time recently (living in a new city with very few friends, high-stress med school, girlfriend - who was the reason I moved to said city - just dumped me and I have to see her every day) and I'm starting to feel like I just need to get away or else I'll flip my shit completely.
I can't just drop everything and leave like I want to (I just don't have the heart to drop out and start again next year).
I've got a holiday/trip planned to go far, far away in the next holiday, but if you've got any ideas for maintaining sanity in the meantime I'd love to hear them. | life is unpleasant, feeling like I'm going to lose my shit, wouldn't mind some advice on holding onto the aforementioned shit. |
t3_vb1fp | dating_advice | Is this the right way to handle it? | So I use to like this girl, never went out there. I still find her attractive and we haven't really talked in ~4 months. Just reconnected with her on facebook. We both go to the same college, she is back at her home town and im still at college doing some summer classes. I was thinking of maybe doing some small talk via facebook messaging. Then i was planning on asking her if she maybe wanted to date when the fall semester gets back or when summer classes end (I think mine ends in about a month and a half, maybe less). I'm not going to be devestated if she says no and it will be easy to move on, but i'd rather get an answer now instead of waiting. So is this the way to go about this? Any advice? | Didn't talk to girl that i was interested in back then for 4 months. Reconnected, but we are separated for about another month or so. Want to ask her if she wants to date when we are near each other again, right way to handle this situation? |
t3_2ca6vr | relationships | A couple of my [F/23] boyfriend's [M/25] female acquaintances always insincerely suck up to me. What's the deal? | I want to preface this by saying that I trust my boyfriend 100% and am secure in our relationship. I have good self-esteem and don't get jealous. This is simply a matter of confusion and curiosity, because I don't play female games and have never understood them.
My boyfriend and I go out fairly frequently. He's very charming and funny, generally a wonderful person to be around and well liked by many. He's also easily recognizable because he's very tall and an unusual ethnicity in a town that is predominantly white. As a result, we often have many people (who he usually doesn't remember or recognize) come up to us claiming to know him.
He has good taste in people, and most of his female friends have become close friends of mine as well. However, occasionally he will have girls recognize him that he doesn't remember. Often these are girls who display some sort of interest in him. After he inevitably introduces me, they start sucking up to me and gushing about how he has such a beautiful, amazing girlfriend in the most insincere ways. While their interest in him doesn't bother me, I really, really hate suck ups. If you want me to like you, be sincere and don't try to flatter me. I don't need fake compliments to feel good about myself, thanks. I feel the same way about people who suck up in other settings, but this specific situation confuses me. What's their game? Why suck up to me while trying to catch his eye? It doesn't make sense. | Why do women suck up to me when attempting (and failing) to flirt with my boyfriend? I don't understand their games... |
t3_28j0t6 | relationships | My [24F] boyfriend [27M] proposed 2.5 months ago and has not bought a ring | Hi. Okay here goes. My boyfriend "proposed" after pleading to come back after a breakup, using his grandmother's ring. After a long conversation, a lot of promises, and he asked my dad, I said yes. One of the first promises he made was to get me a different ring. He told me this in his proposal, so please don't think I only said yes, if I got a new ring. His grandmother's ring is beautiful, I'll keep it forever, but it isn't either of our style.
Fast forward 2.5 months and there is still no ring. We have one picked out, it's exactly what I want, and HUGE plus, it's $1200 UNDER the budget he set.
Other than this, he has up held all his other promises, and our relationship is going really well. Our communication is back to par, and the arguing is very minimal.
We have a date set for next March, and all the plans are made. He is completely on board with everything.
However, I want a ring. It means a lot to me. It's a symbol of our love, our commitment, and our future. Am I asking too much from him? Should I just be happy we're doing so much better, and we're on a path for a successful future?
Would you give an ultimatum, like a deadline? That seems super bitchy to me, so am I just a doormat? Help! | boyfriend proposed with his grandmother's ring, promised a new one, we've picked it out, but 2.5 months later, he still hasn't purchased it. |
t3_4cuvz2 | relationships | My wife [24] believes that "a good smack" is a viable parenting method for children who act out or misbehave. I [28M] don't agree. No kids yet, and I have my doubts. | We've been together for 5 years, married for 6 months.
So this has been an ongoing discussion between my wife and I which started about 4-5 months ago when she finally admitted that she wants to have kids. I would like to have kids as well, if that's what will make her happy. But lately, she has made it known that her method of parenting would involve physical consequences for our children if they act badly in public, or throw tantrums and the like. This makes me very uncomfortable, and I've said as much to her on numerous occasions. Recently, we were out at a restaurant and two moms had about 6 kids between them, all eating their pizza and generally being loud. The kids' ages ranged between 4-8 from the looks of it, and the youngest of the bunch was a wailer to be sure. My wife's response to this was, "if that was my kid, I'd take it into the bathroom and give it a good smack. That'll solve that".
I looked her dead in the eye, and said as clearly as I could, "If you believe that using physical punishment is a viable parenting method, I will not have any kids with you." She just kind of wrote it off, or shrugged it off I guess.
She is from a hispanic household, and all her cousins, aunts, uncles, they all do this. It's culturally ingrained into them. Apparently her uncle used to really wail on his kids when they misbehaved, and then would apologize to them sobbing afterwards.
I'm not sure what else I can say or do. This is a pretty big sticking point for me, and I meant what I said. If my kids are going to be threatened with physical punishment, I'd rather just not have any. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm looking for advice on how to move forward. | Wife thinks hitting kids is OK, I don't. What do? |
t3_18f1dh | relationship_advice | (f/21)myself, my boyfriend (m/24) of 8 months, and his "best friend" (f/24) haven't been getting along too well lately... | I'm in college and he's a young professional. She has been a good friend to him since he was in high school. for the first month he lied to me about their past, apparently he slept with her and was in love with her for a year and a half. Before we met, he invited her as a date to his sister's wedding, which I had no issue with even though the wedding happened while we were dating. the day of the wedding, it slips that he is spending the night with her in a hotel room with one bed. was not thrilled about another lie, but again let it slide.
about a week ago he came clean. we were in another argument about him lying to me whenever she would text him. I haven't given him a reason to lie. I have become friends with her as well and was very understanding of their friendship. He would sleep over her place from time to time and it didn't bother me.
After this fight, i told him if i find out one more thing that he lied about, we're done. so he told me that the night of the wedding, he not only slept in the same bed as her( which he swore he didn't do), but apparently " she kissed him".
I was pretty pissed for a day and a half, but now I'm just heart broken and he is frustrated by this. He (and his parents) believe I shouldn't be this upset. I just feel stupid for trusting them this much... he was cheated on 3 times and it took a very long time for him to open his heart to me. He told me he loved me 6 months in to our relationship and wanted to get an apartment together.
am I blowing this out of proportion? Do I have the right to be this hurt? How can we fix this? please help reedit... I'm still in love with him. | bf (m/24) was kissed by his best friend (f/24) at a wedding, lied about their past, and is now frustrated that I haven't gotten over it after a week of apologies. I'm still in love with him. |
t3_113sek | relationships | GF of 1 1/2 yrs broke up now we're back together after 7 months. | I first met my girlfriend in high school (I was her first) we were both 17 at the time with my birthday four months before hers. We dated all throughout high school and some time after graduation, which throughout I was having conversations with other females which I came clean about.
She leaves the country after graduation for about 3 months when we break up a week or two before she has to come back. In that time we're still trying to figure out where we went wrong and trying to resolve everything; she isn't back to weeks before she decides to have sex with one of my good mates (she tells me this after we decide to get back together) and I gave her an ultimatum to never talk to him ever again as long as we're together. She agrees to it and complies for about 3 months when he texts her. I to this day have no idea what was said between the two because when I asked to look at the messages she tells me they were deleted but she promises it was only advice. I lose it and break up with her.
6 months after she friend request me and I accepted, we started talking once again and I persuaded her to let us be together again (she had no objection to the idea and was in love with it). When we once again became physical I could tell that she wasn't as tight as she was when I left; I tried my best to ignore it but it has been eating at me since she admitted to it once I confronted her about it.
I know I shouldn't hold her actions during the time we were apart but I feel like it isn't fair; since we got together in two years ago I hadn't had anyone else, not even for the 7 months we were apart, and since me she's had two (or so she says) guys. Pretty much how can I get over this feeling? I feel like sex for her won't be the same because she's been with someone bigger. | gf had sex with a good mate in order to "forget about me" and we end up getting back together for 3 months. We break up for 7 months in which time being she had sex with someone else. I've been inside the same hole for the past 2 years. |
t3_1fg1tu | relationships | I [20F] am not happy with my relationship with [29M], but I don't know if it's my fault or his. | My boyfriend [29] and I [20] have been dating for almost 10 months now and I'm not feeling very secure about our relationship, but I think he does. I feel like he doesn't appreciate me anymore and almost like he is only using me for sex.
I've tried everything I can think of. I've even brought it up with him before, but he just tells me that I am trying to change him and that I need to try to understand that he shows his emotions differently. I feel guilty when I bring up our problems, but he used to beg me to talk to him so he could try to fix it. Now if anything is wrong he tells me I am being silly and if the timing is right he blames it on my period.
He used to be so sweet and understanding and he always wanted to hang out. Now whenever we are together he just plays video games. He acts like it's a chore to cuddle with me. He won't even hold me when we sleep together anymore. Kisses seem like a nuisance, too. But he is always up for sex.
I've tried everything. I've bought him gifts, cooked things for him, I never say no to anything he wants to do even if it doesn't interest me, I try to talk to him, and I've made it very clear that I like being physical through actions other than sex.
He never smiles anymore unless we are with friends or he has been drinking. But as soon as we are away from friends he gets quiet again. He keeps saying he loves me, but it's not enough.
On top of all of this, I've developed a new crush on a boy who is always smiling at me and making me laugh. But I don't know how he feels about me. It would be complicated because his best friend is also the best friend of my boyfriend. | ! My boyfriend tells me I'm silly for wanting affection and I am very unhappy with my relationship. What do I do? |
t3_26zqou | relationships | I can't catch a break and now I'm not the only one suffering... | For the last two years I've had quite the streak of bad luck when it comes to jobs. From being told I had the job and them telling me they made a mistake, to having the position I worked at for a couple of months eliminated, or just having employers not wanting to work around my school schedule when they said they would when I was hired.
Anyways, I've always been able to have something and some sort of income coming in. The last two months however, I have been unemployed and unable to find anything. Done plenty of interviews but nothing has panned out. Now that I have about $30 to my name, my BF has really helped with expenses. This has caused some major stress in our relationship especially since he is due for a knee surgery next week and will be out for about a month. He had been trying to save as much as he could due to the injury and me being unemployed has put quite the kink in his plans.
I don't know what to do. I've sold everything of value, applied for every job possible and now I just feel like a worthless being to my BF. If only money grew on trees. Any and all advice, ideas and help would be much appreciated. My brain is fried from all these job applications. | Can't find a job, BF is trying to save money before knee surgery but is also taking care of me, really putting stress on the relationship. Looking for ideas and help on what to do. |
t3_rstid | AskReddit | Got a parking ticket at my school, should I pay it? | Got a parking ticket at my school, should I pay it?
So I parked my car in the visitors section of my schools parking garage. When I did this I took down my parking permit hang tag and put a visitor's parking stub on the dash (ticket you get when you go in). My hang tag was in a door pocket, relatively "hidden". When the parking po-po's (school's police, not real police) came by they peered into my car and found my "hidden" tag. I say hidden because that's what they wrote on the ticket, "permit hidden in door".
Now my car isn't registered in the school's systems so as far as they know, the car is a visitor so they can't put a hold on my account.
What they can do is realize that a similar car is parking in the other university garages with a hang-tag, look up the hang-tag (they have permit #'s on them), match it to the license plate and VIN on the ticket and find me. Do I think they are this smart, not really.
My options:
-Dont pay, tell them to suck on it.
-Go in, say I did not have my ID to buzz into the garage, hence visitor parking and pay the ~45 mins I parked there.
-Go in, say I am a visitor and their people didn't see any hang-tag and I paid when I left. ( | Tell them to suck on it) |
t3_geulf | AskReddit | Reddit, what is your favorite type of writing utensil and why? | I've always been interested in this convoluted yet overlooked question, "What is your favorite writing utensil and why?" I'm only 22 but since the age of 2, I have been in school writing in some sort of manner. We've all used crayons, markers, color pencils, pencils and pens.
My question is, what is your favorite type to write with? What attracts you to using this specific utensil?
For instance, I use these [four] Most used from left to right.
The blue pen is comfortable to hold for long periods of time and writes on any surface really well.The mechanical pencil is a favorite of mine, whether to write in script or standard print.The black gel pen edges the silver more expensive pen due to the grip. They both write differently, however.
Some categories you may consider when explaining your reason for liking a certain writing utensil: Grip, feel when writing, comfortability of writing on various surfaces, gel or less messy ink, resistance to sweaty hands, length of time able to write with, etc. Obviously there are more so feel free to add! | What is your favorite tool to write with? |
t3_4u1u5j | Advice | A girl im not interested at all loves me? | 2 days ago a private number called me when i answered it a girl started telling me she loves me.I thought it was probably a friend trolling me so i told her not to call me from a private number or i wouldnt talk to her.Yesterday she messaged me from whatsapp.Ofc in just 1 minute i figured her profile pic and her backstory was a lie.When i said "why you always lyin?"she came clean and told me she was a girl from my school and she just wanted to learn if i had a gf.When she wouldnt tell me who she was i got bored and ended the conversation.The number blocked me so i wouldnt see their real profile pic.But i guess they forgot i could just make my friend check(dumb move).Even though it was her cousins phone she was in the profile pic too (dumb move again).She is a girl from my class who is a really antisocial girl and tbh she is not that pretty too(im not trying to be an ass i just want you to know im not interested in her.)and we arent even friends.Because the girl is a very shy person i doubt she will come clean that it was her but if she does i need a way out without hurting her. | a girl from my school told me she loved me but didnt tell me who she was.i figured who she was and it turned out to be a girl im not interested in at all.I doubt she will come clean and tell me that it was her but if she does i need a way out that wont hurt her. |
t3_3tdquz | legaladvice | Small claims won't provide a subpoena for past utility bills I was scammed on? | * | on the case: During communal living, the roommate who had the bills running through her name overcharged **heavily** for the bills and was cutting a profit off of me and a couple others. |
t3_4neglu | Advice | My childhood friend is squatting in a shed. How do I help him? | My childhood friend (23 M) (we'll call him Lyle) has led quite the troubled life. His mother was a drug addict who dropped him as a baby. He needed surgery afterwards and his elderly great aunt and uncle sued his mother (their great niece) for custody of him. His mother moved into the home with her uncle and aunt and Lyle some years before passing away of a drug overdose when he was 15.
His uncle passed away when he was 20 and his aunt was placed in a palliative care unit as she was unwell thus leaving Lyle alone in the world.
This is where he starts making really poor choices. He ruined the grandparent's house by letting his deadbeat friends run rampant in it. He let them drive his uncle's car, (left to Lyle in the uncle's will) which they totaled. Eventually a family friend who was appointed by his great aunt as power of attorney intervened and evicted him from the aunt's house in order to fix it up and sell it.
Lyle moved into a place in the seediest part of the city with some people he claimed were gang members. He had a falling out with them and last I heard he was squatting in the shed behind his (currently unoccupied) aunt and uncle's house.
He tried to live with the family friend with power of attorney, but they had a fight and he was kicked out. I've heard rumors that Lyle gambles, stole money from his sick grandmother, and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia (I don't necessarily believe this, he was always a weird kid and I could see a doctor who didn't know or understand him reading his peculiarities as symptoms) He's still working a pretty decent job right now...from the shed.
I grew up doing tae kwon do with this kid. I've known him for 15 years and it's really hard to see he's in such a bad place. Short of taking him in myself what do you think I can do? Who should I call? Should I talk to him? What should I say? Our old Tae Kwon Do instructor can possibly help talk some sense into him.
I'm in Canada. | My childhood friend is living like a homeless man after all his relatives died and he gambled away all his money. What should I do? |
t3_54mqvp | relationships | Me [43F] with my husband [45M] together 18 years, married 12; he's cheating | My husband Alex* and I have been married for twelve years and we have two kids. I will admit that after I had our second baby our sex life diminished because we got busy being parents and working, just being adults. My sex drive also lowered a lot and even though I had sex with him once a week or so, I don't really get aroused anymore. Right now we have an almost dead bedroom. I recognize that I'm the problem here.
About two months ago my husband started being on his phone constantly. I'm not stupid. I know what this could mean so I snooped. He's been talking to another woman. They talk about sex and have clearly slept together. They talk about how much they love each other. He's told her that he's just staying for the kids at this point. She told that he shouldn't leave me unless he wants to and she's never going to ask him to leave his family. But they love each other. I did some more digging and confirmed that he's taken at least two out of town trips that coincide with conversations they had about how much they need each other.
When I was done, I was shell shocked. I knew my husband was unhappy but I guess I was stupid and thought that we could ride it out. Marriages have ups and downs right? I thought it was fixable. I didn't think that we were here. That we had gotten to the point where he was in live with someone else. I haven't spoken to him yet because frankly I'm scared. I'm terrified of losing my husband but I don't know that I can give him the sexual relationship that he wants. I don't know how I can keep him if I can't do that though.
Help me please, Reddit. Do I let him go, or do I fight for my marriage? | My husband is sleeping with someone else and says that he's staying for the kids. What do I do? |
t3_28099h | relationships | I (f22) have an opportunity to move to Portland with a full-time job waiting for me when I get there. My boyfriend (m22), whom I have fallen for and am considering not taking the position for, may or may not come with me. | We've been together for five months now, falling more and more in love as time goes by. I've also wanted to go to Portland to pursue my dream in dance. For my particular dance style (belly dance) this is a great place to learn. I feel like it'd be a crazy adventure and I feel like I need a change... badly. But I know that I couldnt maintain a long distance relationship and leaving him makes me want to sob. Before him, marriage and kids were never a consideration but he's changed that..... You're supposed to fight for love right? Or should I fight for my future? This opportunity is kind of.... crazy. I'm almost positive I have it. Even if i don't, there's more opportunity with this company in the future.
I guess what i really want to ask is, what do you choose at my age? What's more likely to be the better decision? I don't have any real guidance in life and the only guidance I do have tells me to just "date" until I'm older. Nothing serious. But I've found someone that loves me, we accept one another, we have fun, we talk about a future (kids, marriage, etc...) Please, give me advice that is on the positive side, even if it's disappointing. I need support more than anything. I need to know I'm not totally selfish for wanting this. And not totally naive for doubting the opportunity of a lifetime for someone I love at 22. | I have an opportunity to move to Portland where I could further my career but my relationship is keeping me here |
t3_ww8et | AskReddit | Girl looking into laser hair removal, can anyone share their experiences and advice? | I wasn't sure if Ask Reddit was the best place to post this so if you know of anywhere else, please let me know and I will post my question on there.
I am a 19 year old Hispanic girl. Since I hit puberty I have started to grow hair in very unwanted places such as my face (at least that's the one I'm most concerned about now). It's not like a beard on a man, but it does bother me. To get rid of me I have been used hair removal creams for years, but due to this the hair is now growing faster and I am removing it at least 3 times a week if I don't want it to be noticeable. There are things like waxing and threading but these cause my face to look like I have been attacked my acne even though it's just my skin being irritated. The hair removal cream makes my skin look raw after I treat it and it is painful to cover it with make up for a few hours. You can see how doing this has cost me money and time and pain that I would really not like to go through.
For this reason I have been looking into hair removal by laser. I have found a few affordable places in my area that I want to make consultations with. However before I do so I want to find out a few things.
Under one site that I personally found the best, I was told that I should not shave/pluck/use creams 6 weeks prior to treatment. This would be ideal if I had light hair, but I don't and if I went that long without removing my facial hair it would becoming extremely noticeable. Is there any way around this?
I'm just looking for possible ways to make this easier on my self esteem as this has already been hard enough. If anyone has gone or is going through anything like this, I would really appreciate the input. | Girl with unwanted facial hair with questions about removing it permanently. |
t3_2ibrs9 | relationships | My (M33) wife (F44) of 14 years is in the mental health ward of the hospital for a week with severe depression and anxiety. We have been talking about divorce lately. She will be coming home soon and I don't know what to do. | I have been dealing with a crumbling 14 year marriage for a few years now. This year has been a nightmare. In May, things came to a head when it came to light that she had been having an online affair with a childhood friend. After a big fight, she left and went to a hotel for the night. After stewing for a while I checked her laptop to try and track down where she went. That's when I came across the messages to her old friend. After tracking her down to the hotel and confronting her, she admitting to the texts and how she was hoping to meet up with him that night. It never happened and we tried to move on. She has a lot of resentment towards me for using and hiding pornography through out our marriage which she is very against. Partly because of our age difference we are on very different levels sexually.
After the hotel event, things just got worse. We have stopped communicating as much as possible living in the same house and having kids together. Lots of fighting. Lots of sadness. She has been mentally unstable and said some scary cryptic things to her mom indicating she might hurt herself. So her mom took her to the doctors and they admitted her. She been there since Monday.
When she gets home I have no idea what to expect. Things of course won't ever go back to being good again, we are too far past that. Just don't know if living together is even a possibility. Help. | My wife will be coming home soon from a mental break, but I don't know what will happen with our life together. Help, advice, comfort, guidance, please. |
t3_3orxch | relationships | I[22F] like him[22M] but we can't "get it on" NSFW? | So I'm talking to this guy (let's call him Steve) who I've met a few times through mutual friends. And we vibe together so well. We like the same things, have similar opinions, and love a good intellectual discourse. And sure, we only started "talking" about 3 weeks ago, with things getting more intense just recently this week. So the other day, I spent the night at Steve's place.
Up until then, we had strictly kept it to just making out and heavy petting. But the night I stayed over, we took things too far and tried to have sex, but we couldn't get anything to happen. I asked him if he wanted me to go down on him, and I tried, but he couldn't get it up. Then when we tried the next morning, I couldn't get it in.
As much as Steve told me to not feel bad about not being able to arouse him, I felt bad. I genuinely felt upset that I couldn't get him there. The last time I couldn't get my "boyfriend" to get it up, he cheated on me for an acquaintance, that's probably why I felt upset and disappointed that I couldn't get Steve there. Does anyone know why we can't get intimate? | We really like each other but we can't get intimate and it frustrates me. |
t3_2wbum0 | relationships | Me [28 F] trouble reading the signs/signals of unemotional man [30 M] | I'm dating again after ending a three-year-long relationship a few months ago. Historically I've dated men who, for the most part, have been on the emotional and communicative side, which has relieved a lot of the typical anxiety around the questions of "where do I stand?", "how does he feel about me?", etc.
I recently started dating a man who, for lack of a better term, checks a lot of my boxes, but who has yet to clue me in on even a sliver of what's going on inside his head. This is a challenge for me because I hate to make assumptions or read between the lines, which are skills that I don't think I've ever developed a proficiency for given my dating history. However, he has initiated spending time together, physical contact, and checks in with texts regularly, so I do my best to balance his actions with his (lack of) words.
As a rule, I try to avoid hurting feelings, but I'm afraid I will given how hard this man is to read. For example, I left late instead of staying the night because he never made it clear that's what he wanted. Once it was clear I was leaving, I sensed that he thought I was staying and saw on his face that he was disappointed. While I know some of these awkward miscommunications are unavoidable, I'd like to prevent them as much as possible.
So, given my personality, would it be best to take this as a lesson learned and stick to dating more emotionally expressive and open guys, or is there a good strategy to understanding actions instead of relying on words? I'm guessing there's a decent chance that he may open up in the future once he trusts me enough to be vulnerable, but I'm more concerned with the getting-to-that-point. | Tips on how a communicative and open woman can get to know an unemotional and hard-to-read man without making assumptions and/or having feelings hurt. |
t3_2q7vhn | relationships | My [22 M] ex [20 F] who I dated for a year, told me she would've said yes if I would've proposed to her. | Last night I was texting my ex-girlfriend, and she was telling me about how a friend of her's got engaged. Then out of the the blue she texts "If you would've proposed to me I would've said yes". I was completely caught off guard by the statement and did my best to respond to her in a way that accurately represented where I was emotionally since we are not dating. I told her that while I saw a future with her while we were dating, that I felt that even now I am still too young to be considering marriage.
I think the biggest difference between her and I, and maybe this is a flaw with myself, is that I'm not going into a relationship thinking that this person will be the person I marry. Nor am I during the relationship thinking about the plan for when/if I will be proposing to someone. All I look for is someone I'm comfortable with and have fun with and if it became that then great.
I just got completely caught off guard and I am trying to figure out where that came from and how to act around her now. | Ex-GF said that if I would've proposed to her she would've said yes. I didn't know how to respond really and tried best I could. Things are awkward now. |
t3_y5uhm | relationships | I need help making a life changing decision [21M] | Info: Me M[21] / Her F[23]
This is a long distance type of relationship. Well, that may change in the next few months.
We met online almost 18 months ago, and decided to make a relationship about 12 months ago. I live in the UK, she lives in Poland. However, we have been to each other coutless times (which is why i'm posting here and not /r/wemetonline).
I've just graduated from my BSc and I'm faced with one of the hardest decisions of my life.
My two main options are:
* Start a career in the UK, gain experience, bla bla....
* Start a masters degree in Poland and be with her while gaining hte qualification.
So, option one. If I stay in the UK, I've effectively lost her. It's hard enough being away for one/two months at a time, so, being able to see her every three/four months will be a no go.
Option two, I go to Poland and do a masters. Great, but from what I've read, employers back home would rather have a BSc candidate with experience in a real job than a Masters graduate.
I don't see myself long term in Poland due to the terrible exchange rate and everything being super expensive. The country situation can be overlooked, because of her.
I just need some advice, anything would be a great help. | Not sure if I'm making the correct decision moving to my SO |
t3_ukj9n | Dogtraining | puppy vs 8 month old dog | So I am getting a doberman from a reputable breeder. I was just informed that the puppies are due in 2 1/2 weeks. She also mentioned she has a 7 month old male that she has decided to sell. She was keeping him to show but ultimately he isn't what she wanted (she is very picky on her show dogs). Ears are finished and is crate trained. The dog will be alone for about 6 hours a day. With this type of schedule would it be better to start with the 7 month old or the puppy? Dobies are velcro dogs..the dog would still bond with me correct? Would I still be able to correctly socialize it with friends and family? | Semi expierenced dog owner. Should I start with a puppy or 7 month old. |
t3_1m6s0b | AskReddit | Why does the Canadian government have the right to refuse educational trips to Russia due to gay rights? | I am a travel agent based out of Ontario Canada. I have been working on a trip for over 40 students (ages 8-14) for over two years. I formed an itinerary and approved with the Travel and Tourism Board of Ontario that I was taking the correct and legal measures to make this trip a reality.
This would have been a 20 day music program based in Moscow, allowing these young citizens of Canada to have a cultural overview of some of Moscow's museums, arts, exhibitions and music halls. They would have two performances in infamous music halls of Moscow, showing other students their talent and skill.The teachers, students, parents and partners coordinating this event agree that this supervised trip would be beneficial for all parties and in no way endangering or risk worthy. Firstly the teachers involved were informed of refusal by counselors of International Educational Programs Council. They have been asked to discontinue planning this event due to the anti gay relations in Russia.
How is this possible and what steps do I take to argue this? I will be in personal contact with the many coordinators of this educational music program upon which time I will be presented with a letter explaining the exact reason why students are no longer PERMITTED to travel for an educational cause. | Planning a music trip to Moscow for elementary school kids, being refused the right to educational travel due to Russian anti gay relations. |
t3_36ckad | relationships | I need advice please. I [m30] am concerned my girlfriend [f29] may be sneaking around behind my back | Recently I noticed my girlfriend has been texting with someone who's contact name is the same as another on her phone. She often texts with both over the course of the day which makes me suspicious that it's not the same person with two numbers.
I want to confront her about it but she already thinks I don't trust her and I'm afraid if I'm wrong and it was just an innocent mistake she will be(justifiably) very upset with me. I've been killing myself inside thinking about it the last few days but I'm not sure it's worth the possible negative outcomes to bring it up. | girlfriend possibly being deceptive about who she's talking to, not sure if I should bring it up. |
t3_zoaxq | AskReddit | Did i dream this trailer or is it real? | ok, i can remember a vivid trailer and im sure i watched it with my gf although she cant remember it and it isnt in my browsing history, so it goes like this and sorry if it jumbled....
Its set in the 90s, and the mother is there getting ready for work or something and she shouts at the father for being an alcoholic after he said he would stop, she then leaves, the father then is showed a picture that his son drew which the son then proceeds to screw up and throw on the floor. the father picks it up and talks to him.
it then cuts to another family where a little girl is being told a story by her mother about how she met her husband, and the only thing i remember is theyre by a lake/pond and he picks her wild flowers then she kisses him and drops the flowers. the the next bit is about a piano. an onld one, when the little girl is playing and the girl asks her mother about the story about the piano and her and her father? tell her the story.
then 2 girls come running into the piano room looking older, and then play a i wanna do this when im older kind of game.and it cuts to an older boy playing a piano.
then the next thing i remember is the boys family who father is an alcoholic is wanting a piano and then there is an eviction notice and theyre watching this tv and the little girl from the other family is too and she says happy families or something. and they watch it, the boys family get evicted and he is watching the tv when they leave. the next bit is a bit random but they are in an office and the guy gets on the table and takes the batteries out of the smoke alarm and they prceed to have a smoke.
and thats all i remember..... any idea on the name of that film? | cant remember the name of this damned film. |
t3_1lqmh3 | relationships | [x-post r/askmen] Barfly(25f) has crush on cute door guy(31M) | I(25f) have been frequenting a certain establishment for over 9 months now and there is a door guy(31M) who is wicked cute and after about 3 months of going I started joking around with him about him checking my id every time. The next few times he remembered me and he let me go and one night I was low on cash and he actually let me get in for free. Now every time I go with friends we joke around or do the passing hellos. I'm naturally a flirtatious and outgoing person so I'm usually the initiator but he seems receptive.
**The problem:**I started taking dates there about 2 months ago. The first two times it was with different guys and I take guy friends in there all the time and there was no pda between us in the bar so I feel as if he didn't notice. This last month I actually took someone I was dating and there was some pda but not a lot but we were in front of him at one point. Now that I am no longer dating this person I wanted to maybe talk to this guy a little more and see if I could arrange a meetup outside of said establishment. I don't want him to think I'm a man-eater and I don't particularly know if he is interested in me or if he's just being the friendly door guy. | Cute door guy at a bar I frequent. I sometimes take dates in there but he seems chummy with me when I go. Is it worth it to try and set up a meetup with him or is he just being the friendly door guy? |
t3_3b3db3 | relationships | My [26 F] boyfriend [32 M] has a crazy baby momma who won't leave him alone and I don't know how to feel. | Ok, forgive me, I'm on mobile.
I have never dated a man with a kid, so this is all new to me. My boyfriend was sucked into a relationship with baby momma for 7 years and she treated him like shit, intentionally got pregnant thinking that would make him stay with her forever. He has done so much for her, such as moved her up from Florida, find her housing, got her a job, and make sure there was food on the table. This was all done so his kid could have a good life. Well, boyfriend and baby momma are over and she won't let him go. She lives two hours away and will drive to town to beg for him back. She says she want her family together again however she sent the kid halfway across the country to live with her aunt because she can't afford to take care of him even though my boyfriend constantly sends money to her. Furthermore, baby momma is in town today and "can't afford" lunch so boyfriend took her out so she can eat.
I have no idea how to feel about all this! I realize she will never go away because they have a child and boyfriend wants to keep things ok so he can see his kid and remain apart of the kids life. Is this something I (as a girlfriend) have to put up with? Is there anything I can do? Anyone have advise? | baby momma drama. Anyone have advise? |
t3_35dfcx | relationships | Me [20 F] and my "friend" [19 M] have a "thing" with no commitment and I am frustrated | Me and this guy have been on and off for a year now, always been friends but with tension. We both know that we like each other and we have started hooking up and texting more.
I am very frustrated because all he seems to be interested is in hooking up (not sex but he has asked about it before). He claims that he likes me and just wants to "take things slow" and "see where things go."
He always is hanging out with his friends and I don't see him often unless we are grabbing food quick or hooking up. I have told him multiple times that I feel like we are just FWB, but he claims we are not.
After hooking up I always just leave and sometimes he doesn't even walk me to my car, or if its daytime he doesn't hug me goodbye outside.
I want to go on a real date. I want more respect. I am upset. Am I over reacting? | !: I am frustrated with my "friend's" lack of commitment and respect! We act like FWB but he claims he likes me. I think I deserve better... but I like him. |
t3_1n8ta6 | relationships | Me [20 F] and SO [20 M] together for 3 years, are having some problems. Please help! | (For full text conversation see my post in Relationship_Advice. The link was up here but i was asked to take it down.)
[bad] Text summary~~
We are in a long distance relationship, going to separate Universities. Next year i plan on moving in town and I recently informed him of my decision. He didn't like my decision because i didn't ask his opinion, nor does he like the (girl)friend I'd be moving in with. He assumes the only reason I chose this move is because of the friend, when its not. I chose it because it will be cheaper, a different experience etc. I didn't consult him because I didn't think it had anything to do with him. He's not the one that has to live down here.
He then says i "don't really give a shit" about him because i didn't consult him first. He always does this. If I make a decision he doesn't like, somehow it means i don't care for him. He says I don't make decisions as a couple. And i tell him it shouldn't concern him where I stay. Then he says (this is may favourite part) "I wanted you to put me first like a couple should".
Then It just goes back an fourth, him- accusing me of not caring about his opinion/me not caring about him, and me- not understanding how/why me moving means this.
I want to try and fix this, we've been together for 3 years, but the longer this goes on the less i feel i should stay. Please help. Looking for advice on what I should do.
(Already posted in Relationship_Advice but only got a few comments. Looking for some more opinions.)
NOTE: South is a campus in town. The place I am hoping to move to is also in town and closer to grocery shops and more convenient as I don't have a car. Main campus is out of town and I have to rely on friends for transport into town for food, etc if I live there. | BF doesn't want me to move in with friend I met at university and now has been blown out of proportion. Please help. |
t3_3fdb52 | self | I recently cut off my relationship with my best friend. He was a sociopath. Haven't felt better. | Where can I start? I met this guy 7th grade and things were splendid. We had the exact same interests: videogames, music, comedy. We became super close and I trusted this guy with everything. He was a genius, nice to everyone he came across, yet always came off as cocky. There was never a moment he missed to prove he was superior to somebody. The closer we became the more we integrated into each other's group of friends. We soon began to have petty arguments and fight over stupid things. I could never win an argument against this guy. When I did win an argument providing proof of something I was correct the entire time, he would become angry (at times wanted to start a brawl) and not speak to me. He knew my empathy would then cause me to apologize and he took pleasure in the fact. Things took a turn for the worst when in high school he had sex with one of my ex-girlfriends. This did not bother me one bit to be honest, due to the fact this girl had cheated on me. (I was initially hurt but it's highschool so I got over it fairly quickly) I blew it off and actually bro'd out with him about it, but then began to see his true colors. There was a point where he caught me having a casual conversation with his girlfriend (we were in high school marching band) and he was not going to let that pass. He literally turned our friends against me for about a solid week until I apologized and thoroughly explained what happened; again my empathy kicking in. I inherently thought the whole thing was my fault, similar to many other arguments we had had in the past; it was ALWAYS my fault.
Fast forward a few years. I'm 20 now and we went to different colleges but still texted everyday, played Xbox online on the weekends and went to concerts and hung out during holidays. Somehow through all this disconnection he would still manage to undermine me in more ways than one. (We both began working out at uni so you can see how that went) Until one late day, I finally learned what a sociopath was and discovered how to deal with one.
Step 1) Cut off all contact. | my best friend was a sociopath our entire 7 year friendship causing major stress and emotional deterioration. I'm no longer friends with him. I, myself, cut off all connection. |
t3_h4ig4 | AskReddit | What Do You Wear On This Date? | I'm very excited: this weekend, I'm meeting a new friend (super smart, super attractive girl that I thought gave up on me) for an outing that is very obviously a date. We're starting at a moderately fancy restaurant (High Springs' *The Great Outdoors*), and going from there to a kayaking excursion somewhere nearby.
I want to look good. Right now, due to religious obligations, I haven't shaved in two weeks, and need to dress in a manner that makes me look great. I am super bad at that. Really, really, really bad. I still wear shirts from high school, and I'm 28. | Need to look good for a fancy lunch and kayaking with a smart 10. I have no idea what I'm doing. HELP! |
t3_3ob1au | relationship_advice | Is my (20f) ex coming around to me (21m) or should I just give up? | Okay so a little bit of back story before I get to what I'd like to know. Well back in May my ex girlfriend broke up with me because I decided to transfer to a different college than hers. We've talked about it for months and I found that the best for me was in this different city with different opportunities. She then became angry and broke up with me. Now I'm a romantic sap and I believe in love and honesty I loved her and I really didn't want to break up with her. She then started telling me all of her sexual exploits and telling me that she's "used up" and how I'm too good for her. Fast forward to a couple days ago. I get this message about how she showed something I wrote for her and all that person could say is "wow he really loved you," which spawned a 3 a.m. phone call from her end talking about how much she misses me and how she screwed up and how she expects the guys she talks to tell her stuff I use to. We've been talking for a few days now and I just want to know if she's coming around or not and if she is, should I take her back? | My ex who broke up with me thinks about me a lot lately. |
t3_19gfp9 | relationship_advice | I (19/M) don't know how to tell her (18/F) that i wanna try to be more than friends. | Short backstory: In high school i branched out of my comfort zone as a shy young man and made friends with more girls then earlier in life. Sophomore year, there is this girl that i wanted to ask out. She was asked out by this other guy and i moved on. We stayed friends. We're now in college and i hung out with her once or twice during Christmas break and other times she visits home. I'm starting to have the feelings i felt before, but i'm not sure of how to approach this situation. Do I just let these feelings go because I'm simply lonely, or do I just try asking her?
She also goes on spring break in about 2 weeks and that's when I'd like to have a decision, i've been thinking hard about this, but no one to talk to about it. Reddit help pls? | Do i ask a high school crush to be more than friends, or just keep her as a friend? |
t3_36ay9a | relationships | My [20/f] boyfriend [21/M] acts very non-affectionate, should I be concerned? | Okay, so my boyfriend VERY rarely gives me compliments.
Only on rare special occasions does he so much as say "You look nice". We've been officially dating for 4 months and 'unofficially' on/off for 10 months and in that time he has only complimented me a handful of times, even though I compliment him daily (appearance, personality,skills, etc).
He says that giving/ receiving compliments make him feel unconformable and I don't want to pressure him to do something he feels uncomfortable with but it does concern me.
He also recently told me he loves me after a night of drinking and now when I say it he replies with "you too" or tells me I'm going to wear it out.
I don't want to come off as needy or self-centered or anything. I just can't help but feel worried maybe he didn't mean what he said... what do you guys think??? | Concerned that my boyfriends lack of compliments could be reflecting a possible lack of interest and lack of enthusiasm to vocalize his feelings could as well. |
t3_11yg67 | relationships | I [M, 24] just recently got broken up with by GF[22] after 5 years together. What is this "done" feeling she has? | I'm 24 and she is 22. She broke up with me about a month ago. 5 year relationship and we were living together. I don't want to get into it in great detail, but basically she held in all of these things that she was upset about (I had no clue she was unhappy), finally told me, and now is just "done"
They weren't any huge issues. Just stuff like she wants to do outside activities more. Nothing that can't be worked on. Anyway, I'm glad she told me, because now I know and those things can now be worked on and all that.
She won't give it a chance though or a good reason why. She can't explain it, she just says she has a "done" feeling about it. Can anyone explain this to me? I can't understand it, especially after how after 5 years together, it's not worth the chance, just to see how things would be different.
Overall I think I'm handling it pretty good and doing my best to move on but I can't shake this gut feeling that i have that she will eventually come back. I know i can't dwell on that or wait around, but I just feel like she will. We really have so much in common and the same morals and all that jazz. I know our main problem was poor communication. We have all the same friends (I'm best friends with her brother) so this makes it even more difficult. I love her family, they love me. It just sucks.
We have been together pretty much constantly for 5 years so i can see where time apart could help. Give us both time to focus on what we want and all that. Have any of you guys ever been in a similar situation? Either with the "done" feeling or the feeling someone will come back after some time apart? Have they? Did it work out?
I've been on other dates since then, these other girls just aren't her. I really feel like she's the one. Who knows though, maybe in time that feeling will go away. | GF held in her feelings. Finally said something and she won't give us chance to work on it because she is just "Done." Can anyone explain this "Done" feeling to me? I know its not that she wants to just bang other guys or whatever. She isn't like that. Also, after time apart, have any of your guys' relationships worked out? I really feel like if given a chance, our relationship could be stronger than ever. Please tell me if I'm being dumb. Thanks for reading. |
t3_ukyjh | AskReddit | How do I not let other people's judgements about me cloud my own opinion, "Are you mad at me?" | Ever since my college days, I instantly write off people who would ask me "Are you mad at me?" It's always been a sign that this person would: 1- tend to create drama by getting "mad" at friends in order to emotionally manipulate situations (I rarely see any reason to get "mad" at my friends);and 2- hold me accountable for their feelings.
Recently I was asked this by my in-laws. I am just busy with many other things in life and I do see them once every other month. I am shocked that they would even have this sort of emotional drama and a binary mentality at their age. The question doesn't even make sense to me; it seems to instantly set up a combatative situation. And is really negative. It just gets me down!
Overall, it's not only this question but the type of thinking that really gets under my skin.
(It also similarly happened with another friend of mine who (totally out of character) started criticizing me for isolating myself. I know he just wants to see me more often, but I work a lot and only go out for fun 3 times a week with other people. Sometimes he's not in the mix.)
My initial reaction is to ask: "Should I be?" Followed by "Do YOU often get mad at your friends?" "I feel that I'm being put into the position of trying to prove myself to you on grounds that have to bearing on how I see the situation."
It's been happening more frequently and bothering me. This tells me that I need a better way of being okay with it.. with myself. I didn't think I was mad at the in-laws BEFORE they asked. I didn't think of myself as isolating/anti-social BEFORE my friend asked. I still don't... well, I sort of am shaken and feel like I need to defend myself. I am personally satisfied with my social circle and level of interaction. They clearly aren't.
How do you respond to this sort of thing and not get affected by it? | Where do I get the personal strength to turn of unnecessary annoyances taht have no bearing on reality? |
t3_4a5fs5 | relationship_advice | I (20m) am buying an early gift for older brother (24m) need help with predicament | So, I moved out pretty recently and my brother has been really cool. He's paid for my tickets at the movies, he's taken me to dinner, invited me to chill with his friends and such. We've bonded a lot more now that I'm out of the house than we ever did while we were living under the same roof.
For his birthday (in December) and Christmas, I've decided I want to buy him a | Buying a |
t3_42movi | relationships | Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [22 M/] of 6years is spoiling me and I dislike it. | I know this is going to seem so selfish but I don't know what it is. It's going to be my birthday in a few days. And my bf bought my an LG 50 inch 4k resolution t.v. I felt really touched by the fact that he decided to buy me something at all. But I hate that he gets me so many expensive things. For Christmas he got me a ps4. And he's telling me he wants to build me a good gaming computer from scratch. All these gifts are overwhelming me. I don't know why it hurts so much. I'm so upset. I didn't need a new t.v. I loved my old one more than anything. I didn't ask for an upgrade!!! Some of you might not understand and I know I should feel lucky. I am appreciative. But I don't know why he spends so much money on me, especially on things that aren't broken and I don't need. I feel so useless I can't even look or touch the stupid t.v. It makes me emotions feel so uncomfortable. I miss my old t.v. But he installed the new t.v. In my room when I wasn't home and took my old t.v. even though my old one was 28 inches it was the perfect size for my tiny room. My room is literally really small. And i told him I miss my old tv. That why did he spend so much money on something I didn't need. And he got really sad and he said he wants me to have the best of the best. We got into a fight last night because I told him I dislike him buying so many things when he could be using that money for his future. And he got mad and he said he'll return the stupid t.v. I feel so bad. I don't know why this even happening.
P.s. English not my first language or my second, it's my 3rd so excuse the errors. | Bf spoils me too much, and got upset because I don't want him to spoil me. /what should I do? And why do I feel like this? |
t3_3nwhsn | tifu | Tifu by closing the shower door | So today was like any other day, going into working later so I figured I had better bathe myself to not disgust my co-workers. So now where shit hits the fan, or lack there of in my case. So I get ready to shower, turn on the fan, close the door and hop in. Now I like to have very hot showers and listening to music makes them a lot longer. So me being the genius that I am I forget that I have to leave the door open or else the bathroom gets loaded with steam. Most in part to the fact the exhaust fan is broken. Skip ahead 20 minutes and the bathroom is a thick fog of steam and for some reason I'm having trouble breathing and starting to get hazy. So I'm crawling half out of the shower to open the door and not pass out. Took me half an hour to be able to feel okay again and not like I was dying. | I had a hot shower, steam almost suffocated me |
t3_2bbaod | tifu | TIFU by sending the wrong message to a friend | TIFU, So i usually am a very cautious person when it comes to sending stuff to people on my phone but today didn't seem to be the case. I was asking a few of my friends on when senior photos occur and since i didn't want to get a group message going on i had to copy and paste. 2nd person i was going to send message to was a really smart and nice girl and i tried copying and pasting the past message but it didn't work and i accidently sent her a message containing a link about how child sex robots can help treat pedophiles. When i realized what i have done it was too late. I was in a state of complete panic, how the hell did i get that article from. Then i remembered i saved the article to read later, shit was on futurology so it had to be good. she sent me a message asking me why did i send her stuff on sex robots. it had a few lols so i knew i wasn't completely fucked
So now in a last effort to save my ass i sent her another article from the same website and said "I was reading articles on reddit and i accidently linked you the article underneath it" The article was some current event stuff about london and she hasn't read my response( imessage sends read receipts) but hopefully she will understand. | I sent a girl an article on child sex robots treating pedophiles instead of sending her stuff about senior pics. fuck copy and paste. |
t3_4p7mlf | relationships | My [M30] fiancee and I [F28] are over. Now I'm terrified of what to do. | That's it. I'm here now at a friend's apartment. I feel numb, like all the heat from my arms and legs are focused on my chest. My chest feels tight, and my heart feels like it wants to collapse into itself.
I've let my bad habits, my ommission, my laziness consume and destroy my relationship. I have pushed my fiancee beyond the edge. "I just can't take it anymore. I'm done," she said to me. "I can't handle you not telling me what is going on."
I don't know now. I'm still trying to process everything.
I could have been better.
I should have been better. | Fiancee and I broke up. Now I dont Know what to do with what I have left. |
t3_16bpdk | AskReddit | Has your school/university changed at all after the Sandy Hook shooting? And if so, do you feel they are just? | I ask this question because at my school, they are implementing more jurisdictions. One, and practically only, change my school has made, is to lock, and deny access, of several doors that aren't well observable by staff. I guess I can understand their desire to do such, but they lock doors to classes in which the only other way to get to the class is to walk around the entire building. My school is not very large, and is quite small to say the least, but when it takes me the whole time between switching classes and extra to make it to classes I'm recorded as tardy.
A flaw, however, is that as a low budget school, we have trailers in which classes are located. These are outside, and unguarded. There is no fence. I don't see the point of locking doors that are as protected as trailers. A tad bit redundant. Yes?
So I feel it's unnecessary. | My school locks doors. I don't like. I'm against it. |
t3_2yvl4v | relationships | I[23f] am casually dating a guy [25m] for the past few weeks. I can't tell what his end game is. | For the past few weeks, I've been casually dating a guy I met on Tinder. We've been on two dates, spanning a week apart. So, we first started talking to each other about a month ago.
He lives very far away from me (35 miles), and has driven up for these dates, which he offered. I told him I felt bad about this (I don't have a car at the moment, long story), and would offer him gas money. He sidestepped the question, and was like, "no worries, when can I see you again?" I have continually asked him if he is okay with this, and he just shrugs.
We don't really have that much in common, honestly, but he's pleasant to talk to. We haven't done anything intimate yet. He hasn't really even tried to make any moves.
We text a lot, usually prompted by him as well, asking me how my day went, what am I thinking about, etc. He asked if he could call me today, so I thought we were going to have some big talk, like, "let's end this" or something.
He called me to ask about when we could get together again, and we planned to go to a comedy show next week. I tried to get him to talk more, but he was like, "Oh, I didn't really have anything else to say. I just thought it would be better if we planned this out over the phone, instead of text." He asked me briefly if I'd gotten any projects this week yet (I freelance), I said no. I asked him how his work was today, he said, "Stressful, but whatever." | Dating a guy, and I'm honestly not even sure if he's interested in me. It feels weirdly platonic, although the guy continues to pursue it. Is this guy just reserved? What's going on? |
t3_225acj | relationships | Had a break up today. Make me feel better? :( | My (20 f) now ex (20m) that I dated for about a year and a half broke up today. The topic we had fights about were fixable but there was one thing that was bad. He said that the two of us can't have a good conversation together because he doesn't know what to talk about with me. He kept saying I love music but he loves football and is indifferent about music. I am same with football. Then he asked me what he wants me to talk about to which I said I can't just tell him to talk about such and such topics. We kept discussing and finally he said this will be a problem and that he feels like "we both will be happy with someone else". At the end, before I left, he also said that some years from now he will realize that he made the biggest mistake. I didn't say anything because before he kept saying we'll be happier with someone else. It hurt to stay there longer. I also told him never to contact me again and blocked him from everything. I really loved him.
We're in college and have classes together and I dont know how to face him or other friends in my class who loved talking about us and some who considered us "that couple". He said he loved every thing about me but he just can't see us together in the long run if he can't talk to me about things.
I am just kind of lost. I have friends I can hang out with but I just want to stay alone and think about what could've been fixed but I dont know if he feels the same way. How do I feel better? Reddit, please give me some of your thoughts and tell me if I did the right thing. Make me feel certain that it was for the best. | me and my now ex of a year and a half broke up today. Issue was that he didn't know what to talk about with me anymore. I feel lonely and sad. Did I do the right thing? :( |
t3_1fv6ag | jobs | Do you have different resumes for different job applications? | How many of you have different "versions" of a resume, depending on a job your'e applying for, with each version inclined to a certain profession?
I'm half way through college, and at crossroads where I can do many different things, which ends up looking silly on a resume. I don't want them to think I jump from field to field and do not commit to a career.
As I was making my resume the other day, I realized how out of place some things sound, depending on where I am applying. Things such as skills, experience and interests. For instance while applying for a medical field job, I want to avoid mentioning my graphing design and retail/customer service (many years) skills. But then I am left with having to fill space, and I feel like i'm almost forced to make stuff up. And I feel bad not mentioning my accomplishments which may not have happened under the medical field, but still have shaped me into a disciplined skilled employee.. | Skewing irrelevant experience/skills on resume depending on prospective job. |
t3_t3cod | AskReddit | Is there anything I could do to speed up the recovery of a grade 3 MCL tear? | I guess no more explanation is required but just a little background information. I was hit by a car while crossing the street and one of the many resulting injuries was a grade 3 MCL tear. It's been almost 5 weeks since the accident and my knee isn't feeling that much better. I'm home now and have been off school and work. The doctor said zero weight but that's nearly impossible when I'm home alone half of the time. I wouldn't be all too worried except my prom is coming up in about two weeks. Okay, yes, I know. I'm putting prom before my health. Sue me. As much as I disliked most of high school I still want to enjoy Prom. | I was hit by a car 5 weeks ago. I want to get my funk on at Prom which is in 2 weeks. Help me! |
t3_53jdwz | relationships | Me [32 F] with my mom [52F] - She has been there for me during some terrible times in the past, but I'm having trouble being around her now and I feel very guilty about it. | In the last three years, I had a serious medical issue (now resolved), some very bad depressive episodes and episodes of debilitating anxiety (also seemingly resolved with meds and therapy). Each time, my mom was there for me 100% and let me stay with her for as long as I needed and even helped my husband and I move despite her arthritis when I was bedridden from the afore mentioned serious medical issue. She did a lot of driving to come get me and take me places. She put up with my MIL talking about my FIL's experience with Viagra (seriously). She was really really good to and for me.
I don't know what I would have done without her during those times. Right now, my mental health is under great control, I'm happy most of the time, and I'm pregnant! All around happy and healthy. However, I am having a lot of trouble spending substantial amounts of time around my mom now. I don't know if her behavior has changed or my perception of it has changed, but she talks CONSTANTLY. Like, I cannot get a word in edgewise. It's a constant monologue. She also has an extremely short attention span and jumps from subject to subject like it's parkour.
It is mentally **exhausting** to be around her. I recently spent 12 hours with her for some family business and when I got home, I just cried for an hour, I was so overwhelmed and exhausted. And I feel so so so guilty about not wanting to be around her after all she's done for me. I thought I'd want her to come stay to help with the baby in a couple of months, but I'm seriously reconsidering that too. It's like I don't know how to interact with her any more and that makes me sad. I still love my mom. I just feel like an ingrate.
P.S. she has not said anything to me suggesting that she perceives that I have a problem with interacting with her. So this guilt is 100% generated by me.
What do, Reddit? | When I had bad medical problems and, unrelated, episodes of depression and anxiety, my mom was so helpful to me and open and caring. Now, though, I have a lot of trouble being around her because it's just exhausting due to her short attention span and constant monologue. |
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