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t3_3t82tc | relationship_advice | My [20/m] boyfriend of 3 years wants a break from our relationship [20/f]. | Hi all!
I'm very confused and conflicted. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. In the past two months, school and work have gotten in the way of our relationship. We also work together and I feel like that has also gotten in the way of our relationship because we are not exactly the most pleasant people to be around at work!
2 days ago, we decided to go on a break. He told me he didn't feel the same anymore. I don't know if he was telling the truth or not because the week before he got very jealous over something small. So there must be some feelings there.
I spoke with my friend the other day who told me my boyfriend had spoken to him and my boyfriend said he couldn't imagine himself with anyone but me. My boyfriend also deals with depression, by the way, and it has gotten severe as of late due to the end of school and us being distant. My boyfriend also has low self esteem which my friend said could also be a reason why he's doing this.
I don't know what to do. The night that we decided to take a break he texted me saying that he missed me and that he loves me. I hate not knowing what's going to happen because I'm deeply in love with him and in it for the long haul and willing to do anything and everything to help him. Please help. :( | Boyfriend wants to take a break after 3 years. |
t3_mfmjp | weddingplanning | Weddit - Need to vent & asking for advice | First the vent:
My fiancee (let's call her Jill) has asked her chosen girls to be her bridesmaids, all of which are obviously close personal friends of hers/ours. One in particular used to be my fiancee's sister in law (let's call her Sally). Sally tells Jill last night she's unsure about whether she can be a bridesmaid because her husband has just recently patched things up with his brother (my finacee's ex-husband). She doesn't want to make waves with her in-laws and her brother in law. She is mostly afraid it will make trouble for her and her in-laws. My fiancee was obviously and understandably upset last night, as this is one of her best friends. I'm just completely blown away by this. What does me and my fiancee's relationship have to do with someone's parents (who I've never met and certainly won't be at the wedding)? In fact, other than Sally and her husband, none of the rest of their family will be invited. I'm just at a total loss for this, and the more I think about it the more it pisses me off. I just don't see A.) Why she cares what her in-laws think as she never seems to have before and B.) What business it is of anyone else's anyways?
/end rant
The advice part:
She says she could go to the wedding but just not be in it. Seriously? It's okay with your in laws if you go to the wedding, but not be in it??? As far as I'm concerned she's not invited. I'll do her the favor of making it easy on her and her in-laws. Anyways, what would you do if you were us? Would you invite them? She and her husband are close friends of ours who we see all the time. If we invited everyone else in our group of friends except them, that could really be damaging to our relationship (even further). | One of our best friends and potential bridesmaids doesn't want to be a bridesmaid because she doesn't want to make waves with her in-laws (who used to by my fiancee's in-laws). She still wants to go to the wedding. |
t3_10w43y | tifu | TIFU My girlfriend's dad now knows we tried anal | Picking her up from work where she's a bartender, driving home, asked her jokingly how her bootyhole was feeling. She said it hurt really bad from the night before, and I replied "Well thats because there was a cock in it, sweetheart" Then went on to tell her that I preferred her pussy anyway and she said she was happy to be able to try it.
Next day, dinner with her dad. Entire night goes fine, we go to leave. At the door he stops us and asks "By the way, is your butt still hurting?"
We both realize that she must have buttdialed him getting into the car and left a message. We recover by making a joke about how she was drunk and fell down and landed square on her tailbone. Was not bought at all, totally embarassing. | GF's dad found out I plunged her brown depths |
t3_kyqwx | AskReddit | I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me, what do I do next? | Me and My SO have been going out full time for 6 months, having know each other for about 18 months. Today, while she was in the bathroom, her phone went off, the guy who messaged her was one of her friends that I knew through her, and he was a pretty cool guy so I decided to text back for her (as I thought it was just pleasantries) and my gf is known to take hours in the bathroom.
Anyway, I open up the text thread, and the exact wording of the text was "I gt some doms you cool if i pick you up tmrw? ;) xx". I scroll further up and its the same inane sexual innuendo and even my gf is saying stuff like this. (I managed to read 4 months worth of texts.
Now, my gf told me she's going to see a movie with her sister tomorrow, but I asked her sister and she said they (my gf and her mother) were going out.
Everything is just adding up, what do I do? | Guy sends my gf a text implying their having sex tomorrow (as a recurring thing) and she's lied to me, what do I do? |
t3_m4rcs | AskReddit | What is the craziest thing you have done with your car? | Might not be at the top of my list but its the only one I can think of at the moment:
So me and a few friends got really drunk after hours in a park one night a year out of high school. At some point I blacked out, drove everyone home and then went home myself. When I woke up the next morning in my bed I was confused as to how I got there. My dad asked where the car was and I told him it was outside. I woke up an hour later feeling something was wrong, so I went outside and I couldn't see my car anywhere. I called everyone from the night before and even rode my bike all over my city looking for it, but to avail. I ended up concluding someone stole my car and reported it to the cops. A week goes by and still nothing until I get a call from the police saying the found my car! I ride my bike to where it was, the very center of a complex parking garage right next to my old high school(which I had rode by several times looking for my car). The high school is about 3 miles from my house and I vaguely recall walking down the street late at night but I thought I had dreamed that part. Turns out at some point on the ride home I decided I was too fucked up to continue(I was blacked out mind you), so I pulled into a fucking parking garage FULL of concrete pillars at every turn and park in the most tucked away spot on the floor then walked to my house. The cops said they didn't find any traces of fingerprints from my supposed car thief and I was having a hard time not smiling like a jackass the whole time. It racked up 3 parking tickets which were voided and I got my car back safe and sound. I have also toned the booze down a few dozen notches since that night(although there is still the occasional drunken odyssey from time to time). | I got drunk and lost my car for a week, reported it stolen and the cops found it for me. |
t3_51cygs | relationships | Ex (30/f) did not acknowledge my birthday even though we are talking again/flirting. What do I (27/f) do? | I recently started talking to my ex again, about 2 weeks ago. We had been NC for about 2.5 months prior to that. We live in different cities.
Today was my birthday. He saw via my Snapchat stories everything I was doing for it -- multiple dinners, bars out, cake, etc. if you're not familiar with snapchat, you can see who is viewing your "story," aka pictures, videos, etc. depicting your day.
I talked to him YESTERDAY. Did not mention anything about my bday. He has been initiating contact the entire two weeks we've been talking.
He's been watching my stories ALL DAY LONG and hasn't said ONE WORD.
This feels incredibly/needlessly mean, as if he's purposely ignoring my birthday. It's very frustrating -- everything is going fine and then has to go and ruin it by doing something stupid.
I am supposed to see him in two weeks when he comes to my city for a business trip, but now I just feel icky, stupid, hurt...
Am I overreacting to this? How do I move forward (or not) from this? Am I missing something about the male psyche that says birthdays are totally unimportant? I don't want to cause YET ANOTHER fight when we were getting back on track. | Ex, who I am in contact with again recently, failed to acknowledge my birthday. How do I react to this? |
t3_1c88fi | relationships | 23 [M] think friendship of guy with same age has ended | 23, heterosexual male. I have been friends with this guy since 1st grade.
Long story short, things had been going great till 2011. We were very close to each other and enjoyed each other's company. He had been there for me every step of the way, and in his own words, had never wished any kind of evil on me.
Things started taking a downward spiral from then and I'm terrified at the prospect of never seeing him/hearing from him again. He doesn't have to say that I'm his best friend, but he is to me. The basis of the problem goes something like this, sometime around 2011 he asked me for certain substances that will go unmentioned as they are irrelevant to the question that this topic is going to bring up. He wanted them for another friend of his.
I just got mad. I snapped at him and the entire year of 2012 was spent bickering back and forth. Sometime around mid-2012, things were looking up again. He even said I was like a brother to him. I thought I had my friend back. I was delighted. I even said I loved him.
Then I did something really really stupid. In a moment of weakness, I managed to get hold of the other unrelated third parties number and said some mean things. Really mean things. Some might even construe the words as being threatening. To make things worse, the third parties mother was involved.
I realized my folly and tried apologizing to my original friend. I gave some valid explanations but didn't make any excuses. He's working and I'm in my final year of college. The bad thing I did was repeatedly tried to contact him during the weekdays.
Does he just want some time away from my lunacy? (I have various high functioning strands of mental illnesses by the way.) Or has he finally had enough? My final words to him were I'm sorry for all the misdirected anger aimed at you, and I will miss you. Bye. Nothing too clingy. I'm even frightened I might relapse into my older delinquent ways which is why I'm posting this here........I'm not planning on calling him again, I have some amount of decency for other people's privacy. Is it really over? :'( | I tried contacting him to apologize to him via voice, and he had my number on his block list. To confirm this, I used another mobile, and he picked the phone up. I said, "Hey, it's me." To which he replied, "Oh". Following which, he cut the call, and blocked that number too." |
t3_29wo72 | relationships | Reddit I can't tell if I'm being needy, smothering this girl, or if I have a reason to be mad? | 25[M] dating 25[F]
So I've been dating this girl for 4 months now and we do long distance (3 hours to be exact).
She is a super sweet girl and very loving and affectionate towards me...is a great girlfriend for the most part and is very loyal.
Well lately, like the past month, any time she goes out or goes out with her guy friends or what have you she will end up not texting me goodnight or that she made it home safely. I am not the boyfriend who wants to hear from her ALL night long but I am the boyfriend that needs to know shes home safe or at least staying at a friends house. hearing her say goodnight even if VIA text makes me happy and allows me to sleep easy. Multiple times now, about 4 or so, within the past month...mostly all when she goes out...she doesnt call or text me most of the night until later in the afternoon the next day or in the morning as soon as she wakes up. Usually consists of "Her friend stole her phone", "Phone dropped out of her purse at work and didnt realize till she got home"....I can't tell if I am being paranoid or what because I get super annoyed and mad when I have to sit around all night and the next day just to know she's ok? This is the ONLY thing I ever get mad at her for and idk.... shes teh same way if I dont text her while im out or what have you and she gets really annoyed if my phone dies while I'm out but I always text or call her as soon as I get home to let her know im home and safe.
Any suggestions on what to do and how to handle this so I dont seem smothering, jealous...etc? | Girlfriend goes out and an excuse ensues as to why she didn't text me goodnight or that she's home safe and I get mad over it. |
t3_1h9qrs | relationships | I [18/M] am not sure how to feel about my girlfriends [21/F] sexual fantasy. | Now, her and I have only been together for about 5 months, but we've gotten extremely close. I do have some insecurity issues that I'm working on and I trust her. Although last night she said something that really bothered me. We got on the topic of sexual kinks and fetishes and it has always been hers to sleep with a married man. Because in her eyes she grew up with sex being very taboo and she loves the forbidden rush sleeping with an older guy (40's) would give her. Is this common amongst women, or is this a red flag I should be weary of? I'll be here to answer any questions but would love some input on the subject. Thanks a lot guys! | Older girlfriend has sexual fantasy of being with an older married man. This makes me feel inadequate, or that she'd actually cheat given the chance. |
t3_2gxk2n | relationships | Me (18) her (18) 5 months: What does it mean if she deleted photos of us? | Broke up with my ex a month ago and we stayed friends for a bit. Then recently we just stopped talking completely. Now I go look at my tagged photos in Instagram to find that she deleted posts of us. They were just nice regular photos of good memories. Is there any reason she'd be doing this? Any meaning to it at all? I looked my question up and most people say that she's not over me and it hurts her to see those photos, but I doubt it because I asked her if she still had feelings for me, which she denied. (Besides she broke up with me) I also really doubt she's talking to anyone else... So why? | ex deleted photos of us? Why? any meaning to it? |
t3_4kj6a4 | relationships | I [17M] don't feel wanted by my girlfriend [17F] | Okay, so about 2 months ago I met this really nice girl and after about a month of hanging out together we kissed and have been together since.
She is my first "actual" girlfriend, and I'm very happy to be with her and enjoy spending my time with her.
Before I continue I should say that both of us are virgins (but she doesn't know I am) and I'm her first boyfriend as well
About a week after we first kissed we were at my house and we started kissing (this was our first time really going at it) I touched her tits (her skin is SUPER sensitive) and was making my way down there when she politely asked me to stop, I obliged
She explained to me that she felt embarrassed, she later told me that she wouldn't go beyond third base as she doesn't feel ready yet, alright.
She also told me that she didn't enjoy kissing (me), this hurt me a bit, and made me feel unwanted.
After that event whenever I see her I just kiss her when saying hi and bye.
She sometimes gets closer to kiss me but now I never go in for it first, it feels good when she gets closer, but she is more of a submissive person and she's constantly apologizing for not showing much affection.
I guess my fear of being rejected + the fact that she told me she doesn't like kissing (and that she only told me afterwards) make me afraid of getting more intimate with her
So now I don't know how to feel about us, a small part of me thinks she just wants a boyfriend so she can say she has one. I still think she's super nice and I really like her but, eeh I don't know. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I think sex is important in a relationship.... maybe it's just because I'm a horny teen, maybe I just rushed in like a crazy mofo, I'm new to this, but I don't want to go on like this and don't know what to do without hurting her feelings | my gf doesn't like getting too intimate with me and it's making me feel unwanted, what should I do? |
t3_1shj95 | relationship_advice | How to tell if our(21f, 27m) young(5mo) relationship has run its course? | Some recent life developments, mostly her lack of employment, have caused my SO to become mildly depressed and have in turn caused our relationship to deteriorate emotionally and physically. For the first two months it was the perfect honeymoon phase, we always saw each other and were super affectionate all the time. I did everything I could to make time to see her while working my more than full time job, and it was great. Although I work long hours we still saw each other quite often and we were both happy. Since losing work(she didn't actually lose her job, but her hours were severely cut,) she's been nowhere near as happy, confident, or affectionate and it's having a serious effect on my confidence and happiness as a result. I'm starting to feel like this isn't doing it for her anymore, and that I'm not the person she wants; that I don't make her happy anymore. I've asked her sporadically about the state of 'us' and when I do she says that she still loves me and that I do make her happy, and that's the extent of the conversation. But nothing's changed. I still feel like something's wrong, like the relationship we had is so far gone now that it won't be like that again. We still go out on dates, we still spend time cuddling, but comparing what we had to what we have now seems depressing and leaves me feeling alone in this. I feel selfish for thinking it's coming to an end but I don't know how to get things back to the way they were. Am I wrong? | girlfriend is depressed over lack of work and it's making it seem like our short relationship is already over. |
t3_2cfryf | dating_advice | My [M17] GF [F17] never asks me to hang out | I posted this in /r/relationship_advice but didn't get much feedback so I'm guessing this is a more appropriate sub for this kind of thing.
Alright this may just be a minor issue, but I'm not sure and it's pretty frustrating. I've been dating her for just over 4 months and overall things are going really well. However over the past couple of weeks I've realized that I'm always the one asking her to hang out and go on dates places. We hang out 1-2 times per week and out of the ~30 we've been together she's asked to hang out twice.
She always says yes - in fact, she hasn't even once asked to do something other than what I've suggested. She's been away a lot the past couple of weeks, and says things like "I miss you so much it hurts" "I wish you were here" "I have so many stories to tell you" etc., so it's pretty confusing as to why she just doesn't ask to hang out.
Like last night at 10:15 we were texting and she jokingly asked if I wanted to come over; we joked about me sneaking out and stuff like that and then I said "yeah I dont think tonight will work..I do want to come over though" And still nothing. Changed topic and then she went to bed around 11.. She probably expected me to ask her but it's frustrating because I feel like if she was actually interested she'd start asking once in a while.
Oh, another thing that's semi-related: Whenever she comes to my house, she's consistently an hour+ late. No excuses or anything - for example if I ask her to come over at 5 she'll text me at 5:30 saying she's starting to walk over....However that's the only time she's late; whenever we go out somewhere she's on time, and when I go over to her house she's always there/ready to hang out.
I just want to know if this is anything to worry about and what I should do about it. Thanks. | gf never asks me to hang out, i always have to ask, she always says yes, whenever she comes to my house shes late |
t3_2olvhh | offmychest | She's cheating on her boyfriend with me, and I feel like a piece of shit | I've met this girl about 2 months ago, and we started hooking up last month. She's smart, gorgeous, and funny, and I've been starting to develop a real fondness for her. So, with Christmas coming up (she dropped hints that she was going to get me something), I decided to check her Facebook page for a few ideas for simple gifts. I don't normally internet stalk people in my life, but I felt like this was for a good cause. And besides, she already told me she snooped on my Facebook profile, so I figure fair is fair.
She's easy enough to find, she has a very unusual first name, and of course I recognize her picture. I scan her page quickly and my stomach drops. "In a relationship with..." I blinked a few times and my throat felt bone dry. I jumped through mental hoops trying to justify it for a while, but I knew it was pointless.
Part of me wants to just block her number and be done with it, but I feel like her boyfriend deserves to know. Mostly I'm just pissed off. I'm pissed at her, because relationships are hard enough when both people honestly want it to work, and I'm pissed at me, because I should have been able to tell she was lying about being single. | I'm the other guy. Fuck. |
t3_34hf2y | relationships | I [15 M] had a fall out with friend [15 F], a year later she sent me a friend request out of the blue. | I know this isn't really anything drastic, but I do not know how to respond. If this was me a year ago when I was much more blunt I would just message her, tell her "Fuck off" and just be done with it. For starters I have no intention of going back to being friends with her, however, if I just pretend it didn't happen, it will bother me. I want to address it, but I have no idea how.
Met girl in 8th grade. Became good friends. 9th grade we got in a huge fight. Everytime I think it's over she initiates after argument on facebook. Finally it's over. Today I got a friend request to her. I know this is an incredibly stupid predicament. This is the type of thing I'd roll my eyes out if someone came to me with it as a problem, but I don't know what to say. | Me and friend have a pretty bad fall out. A year later she adds me on facebook. I don't want to be friends again, but I don't want to ignore it either. I want to address her. What should I say? |
t3_3v7j78 | relationships | My [22F] ex [23] who is my friend, blocked me on Facebook and deleted and untagged himself from everything related to me because it would upset his new girlfriend [17F] | This actually really hurt me. Not the fact that he has a new girlfriend even, but that he had to do this to please her. The back story; he added her on Facebook and through my account had blocked her. So it looked like she was never even his friend, I thought nothing of it. I then happened to look on my block list and saw her name. I immediately messaged him saying that isn't right that he went behind my back on MY account and did this. He then said he was just trying to avoid this and blocked me.
I tried to call him but he ignored me for two days straight. I finally talked to him today and he said that it wasn't right to have pictures of me and comments from me on his Facebook when that was in the past and he has moved on, and she shoudln't have to look at those things. He said it may bother her so he took it down. But he said the blocking of me is permanent. He said it would be quicker to block me as well then to untag years worth of stuff. But he blocked me for good. He broke up with me a year and a half ago but only just now took everything down.
To set things straight, I had my ex on Facebook while I was going out with him[23M]. He still had his ex prior to me as a friend and liked and commented on her photos sometimes, and I felt like that was none of my business. I think even if you are dating, you should be free to talk to whoever you want. If I had a new boyfriend who said I was not allowed to talk to [23M] under any circumstances, I wouldn't want to be with him. That comes off as too controlling.
I am just really hurt by this. | My ex went behind my back and blocked his new girlfriend through my account. I found out he did this and got mad at him. He blocked me and said it is permanent, as our relationship is in the past and the content would upset his new girlfriend. I summed that up poorly so just read it. |
t3_4z387r | Cooking | Help! I preheated my tomatoes! | This is a pretty embarrassing post...
To begin, my girlfriend and I picked a bunch of our tomatoes yesterday afternoon. We put them into some large bowls etc and then brought them inside. Our cat is a food fiend who will eat anything edible, including a chicken breast that was cooking in the slow cooker once, so I guess my girlfriend had put the tomatoes into the oven out of his reach (and out of the fridge, which is how I believe you're supposed to store them?)
Anyways fast forward to this evening, and I'm sure you already know that I began preheating the oven without looking, and accidentally brought the tomatoes up to 350f.
Now as soon as I went to put in the chicken I was cooking, I freaked out and took them out of the oven and sorted through them all. I found a few casualties, but moved the rest into the microwave for the time being. For the most part they seemed okay, some were warm, some had split, and some were mushy. My question is should I bother keeping the remainder, or have I ruined them? Thank you for your help! | forgot to check oven before preheating and partially cooked a lot of tomatoes :( |
t3_4hmmk4 | offmychest | I feel like my life is falling apart | I have depression & anxiety, I feel as if I have no purpose, I'm a 19yr old uni student, haven't been in weeks. I just sleep and get high on repeat because its the only way my mind is at peace. My body clock is fucked, I don't sleep till 7 in the morning now and don't get up till 5 in the afternoon so all I see is darkness and it gets worse everyday. I overthink every situation and hate myself. I don't have a passion or a hobby at all other than an interest in music but that gets me nowhere since I can't play anything and don't have the commitment to learn. I don't enjoy my uni course, I have a few mates that mean the world to me and recently I've ended up flirting and sending pictures with my ultimate best friends ex's and its destroying me. I string girls along all the time because I hate myself and need to be loved. When I do get into a girl I ruin it because I'm too full on and obsessive wanting to be loved and love someone after struggling to get over my ex a year a go. My parents are splitting up soon and my grandparents who are the only people I have ever looked up to are also going to die soon and my brother lives across the other side of the world. Thought about how much easier it would be to just walk in front of a car or whatever but I know I'd never do it, I just can definately see benefits. I know a lot of people have it worse but I'd really appreciate some help, I don't feel like anyone cares, mostly I just want advice about flirting with my friends ex because I'd die for him. | Depression & Anxiety |
t3_3wr7po | relationships | Me [33 M] with my wife [33 F] of seven years. I'm not making her feel loved or wanted. | I'm married to a beautiful, caring and intelligent woman. Apparently, I don't let her know that I am.
Last night she told me two things. The first being that I don't tell her that I desire her, nor do I show it. She finishes off by saying that if I'm not attracted, I should grow some balls and just say it.
The second thing she pointed out is that I never do anything just to make her happy (like bringing flowers), so the only thing she can be happy about is the fact that I do some mediocre cleaning.
I grew up with parents that never showed any kind of affection for each other. Unsurprisingly to me and my sister, my parents left each other when we moved out. Because of this I have no idea on how to give her what she's asking for.
I can buy her flowers, but buying her stuff she mentioned herself seems half hearted.
Basically, I have no idea on how to improve the situation. I don't know what to say or do or when to do so.
I could use some advice on how to show my appreciation of my wife. | my wife doesn't feel loved or desired, what can I say or do on a daily basis to tell her otherwise? |
t3_3ddo1x | weddingplanning | My upcoming shower is overwhelming me. How to proceed? | My mom, future MIL, and bridesmaids are planning me a bridal shower. I'm so grateful for everything they are doing, but it has quickly become something I never would have planned for myself (if planning your own shower wasn't such a huge etiquette breach!)
Originally, I didn't want a shower at all, but everyone insisted that they wanted to throw me one, and that it would be easier to get gifts ahead of time than haul them all home from our reception venue. Okay, that's fine. I won't disagree that it's awesome to get presents, of course, and my MOH and future sisters in particular are so excited to plan all this for me! :)
I asked my MIL if we could have a Jack and Jill shower (that is, both men and women are invited) and she immediately shot that down. PUTTING ASIDE non-binary genders, dated sexist beliefs, etc, I know that shower guests are typically mostly your aunts, grandma, etc. But I wanted my fiance to be there with me, and maybe some of his groomsmen to liven up the party. That's out too.
So now I'm having this all-girls bridal shower, just for me (my fiance's name wasn't even on the invitations) and I don't know how to interact with everyone - there's going to be so many people there I've never met. MIL added a few dozen people to our guest list and those ladies are coming! Plus some of our registry items were specifically added by my fiance. Am I supposed to say "oh he was so hoping to get this! I wish he was here to see it but I wasn't allowed to have anyone who identifies as male at my shower!" ***Obviously I wouldn't actually say that... | My upcoming shower is huge and completely different from what I would have originally wanted. Is me sitting there alone and opening OUR presents the norm? How do I thank my fiance's second grade teacher for coming without seeming gift-grabby? |
t3_1z27dq | relationships | Me [22 M] with my best friend [22 M] of 4 years, I'm gay and have a crush on him. Do I need a break from him to move on, or am I over reacting? | I met him 4 years ago, we got along great, like all the same things, and he was finally someone I can be myself and do everything I like with. I haven't really met a best friend before, just a few people I can do some things with.
But then I started to crush on him and have had feelings for him since.
I don't ever act on it or act creepy. I just act like a really good friend.
I just get scared I don't know where my really good friend gestures end and trying to make him my boyfriend begin and get scared its getting all mixed up.
But then I think maybe I'm over reacting and paranoid.
My feelings have stayed the same and aren't getting worse, I just get more paranoid.
I want to say I see him as a brother, that's why I care so much, but I don't know if I can trust that.
If I think about it I know I could do better and find someone that will be better for me in a relationship and I'm just taking my energy out on the guy I see the most.
I do feel like we'd be more useful and meaningful to each other as best friends in the long run.
But that doesn't matter because the truth is it will never work because he will never like me that way. Hopefully my brain learns this.
I get paranoid lately that I need to leave him behind. I don't want to. But other Redditer's and the paranoid part of me thinks I do.
What do you think? | I have feelings for my best friend but he's not gay, I'm scared the truth is I need to leave him behind, by not sure. |
t3_2fsg74 | tifu | TIFU by trying to be a chef | For the past few years there has been this Indian store nearby my home that sells masala cashews. For those that don't know, they're basically cashews coated in delicious spices, a great snack.
Anyways, over the past year or so I've been practicing making these in my home, and I've gotten gradually better at it-- the latest batch being a breakthrough in my spice coating methods. As it would turn out, it would also be a breakthrough in killing my appetite for days.
My mother usually buys these unlabeled cashew packs somewhat cheaply from these Indian grocers. I've never had a problem with the quality of the cashews before, but on this fateful past Thursday something happened. After making my batch of cashews and enjoying the deliciousness I hid my stash from my brother, who tends to gobble the shit up like crack and Dave chappelle. As I didn't use the whole bag of plain cashews my brother turned to eat those when he yelled for me to come see something.
It was a cashew halve, but nestled in the groove was a maggot. Upon closer inspection of the bottom half of the bag, several fly type things were crawling about feasting on those cashews. My insides churned up in an instant and maggoty deliciousness met with the inside of a toilet bowl. | don't ever buy cashews that aren't approved by the FDA. |
t3_3exl28 | relationships | Me [24 M] with my [27 F] so of 2 years had a three way and planned to have another until "I ruined it" | Weekend before last I was at the Bar when my so texted me saying that she wanted us to have a threesome with her friend who I have heard is into being a unicorn. At first I was skeptical because I've had many almost threesomes but no actual threesomes. When they both met up with me at the bar they were all over each other. My SO said that they were making out at the pre-drink and that she wanted to make it happen that night. So I agreed and later we did the deed for many hours and it was great.
Fast forward a week and I'm at a music festival with both girls and have taken some molly. My SO has said explicitly that she wanted to have another threesome over the weekend and in my high state that was all I could think about. I locate the unicorn to talk to her about it, she is also down and we made out a bit while walking back to the tents to find my SO. When I get to the camp my SO sees that I have some of the Unicorns lipstick on my face and FLIPS THE FUCK OUT. She starts screaming at me saying that I cheated on her and that I'm breaking her heart and runs away.
Now we're back home and shit is super weird between us. I've explained in detail that all I was doing was trying to recreate the magic that happened the weekend before as she explicitly told me she wanted. But when I compare her making out with the Unicorn at the pre-drink and me on the way back to the tent she just says "It's very different" but can't explain why. And she keeps saying that it's my fault and we can never have a threesome again. So here I am not sure where to go from here. In my mind I feel like I did nothing different than she did and that the president had been set that it was okay to do stuff with the Unicorn as long as a threeway was imminent. So should I just shut the fuck up and except my life will no longer have threesomes in it or should I stand my ground and not let the double standard stand? | SO Making out with unicorn is okay but when I do it's cheating. |
t3_3k2bau | relationships | Girlfriend [21/F] refusing to communicate her problems. | We've been together for about 1/2 year. She has a rare heart condition, arrhythmia, which prevents her from exercising too hard despite being on a track team. So I try not to put any more stress on her, but this mysterious problem is.
Recently, I [21/M] noticed something has been troubling my girlfriend alot and it has been affecting her usual lifestyle. She keeps telling me that everything's okay, which obviously isn't. For instance, she isn't sleeping well and has developed faint dark circles under her eyes. Although still the most gorgeous girl in my life :) I already told her I'm willing to listen if there are any problems, but I didn't press the issue.
Yesterday, I went to her apartment to check up on her, and seen that she was clearly crying before I got there. I had to ask, I just had to confront her about it.
Here's what happened when I tried:
Me: "Listen, I know that you've kind of had a rough time lately. And I want to help you out, but I can't do anything if you won't talk to me about it."
Her: "Sweetheart I told you, I'm fine."
Me: "No you aren't. It's obvious something's been eating at you. You can tell me."
Her: "Why is me saying 'I'm fine' not good enough? You're concerned, I get that. That's cool. But I'm fine, and it's nothing that you need to worry about."
That reply caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say. I feel like it's the boyfriend's responsibility to know the well-being of his girlfriend. What you guys think I should've said after that without coming off as a controlling boyfriend who wants her to spill out every secret? She's the first person I've truly cared about on a deeper level. It's been hard to do so. | girlfriend not talking about her problems with me. Always reassures me that's it's okay, despite being not the case. |
t3_lpdq1 | AskReddit | Reddit, I think my grandfather is dying.. | Reddit, please tell me what's going on.
This is emotionally frustrating and I need to vent this out. Our doctor couldn't diagnose the problem so I'm hoping a Redditor out there can tell me what's going on.
Just a week ago, my 70 year old grandfather was strong and healthy. He came to visit us and volunteered to do a lot of gardening work. Then one day he started having chest pains and stomach problems. He gradually started to lose energy, so we went to the doctor and got antibiotics and acid reflux pills. We fed him porridge because he had a weak stomach. We thought the problem was that he overworked in the garden. We told him to get plenty of rest. We gave it a few days hoping he would improve and be that strong tough grandpa we have always remembered him to be. Tonight, my grandfather is showing signs of memory loss. He can't remember where he is. He's touching the door knobs, walls, bed frame, etc. I'm guessing he's trying to remember if he's familiar with the house? He's also losing control of some of his muscles, like his legs and mouth. I don't want to say it, but I don't know if he's going to get any better. I think he's dying.. and !@%$ I can't believe this is happening to me right now. Does he just need more time to recover because he's an old man or is he going to die? We're planning to go to the hospital again tomorrow.. Reddit, please tell me what's going on. | My grandfather is ill and just started losing his memory. I have a bad feeling he's dying. |
t3_na7qq | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your weirdest/most unconfortable first date situation? (probably NSFW?) | I will start:
(Little background story) A really drunk guy tried to rob me, I punched him in the face and escaped.
One week later im on a date with this girl. Everything is going great and we end up back at her place (yay sluts!). so after coitus i walk to the kitchen only in my boxers to get us a drink. We sit down in the kitchen: walk in, the douchebag that tried to rob me, still having a black eye from the punch i threw. She introduces him as her brother and he spent the next hour trying to remember from where he could know me. I pokerfaced through the entire thing praying to Zuul he wouldn't remember that the guy who just nailed his little sister was the guy that also punched him in the face. After roughly 50 minutes of awkward conversation I am finally out of the situation with him leaving and me deciding to not seeing that chick again. | Hooked up with the sister of a guy who tried to rob me and got punched by me. |
t3_47al7f | personalfinance | (US) Mom and I are both being held accountable for same auto incidents, on different insurance policies? | I'm not 100% this is the sub I should be posting in, but I'll give it a go. If there's anywhere better suited for this question, please let me know!
Today I received the renewal paperwork for my car insurance policy (Progressive, US, NJ) and it included a report of the reasons why my policy was the way it was (specifically, a previous not-at-fault accident I was involved in two years ago, an expired registration ticket from that same year) but also a "chargeable incident" from October 2015. I wasn't involved in any such incident. But my mom was (she backed up in a parking lot and grazed the front bumper of a car behind her... no damage to either vehicle except for some chipped paint) Upon further reviewing our separate (I'm not in her policy, she's not in mine,) policies, mom and I found she's being listed for that expired registration ticket, as well as obviously the "chargeable incident."
We live in the same address, and our names are... very close. To keep it simple, I'm Jane Mary Doe-Smith (most of the time going by Jane Doe-Smith) and she is Jane Watson-Smith. Our policies have years in difference of date created, we obviously don't have the same license number or the same SSN. These accidents and tickets being in our report have raised our policies ridiculously (me by almost 200$ what I know others with similar or worse records are paying on the same company, with more coverage than what I have.) What are my steps in getting this remedied? I could try a different insurance company, but I generally like the service I have received through this one, so I am reluctant to change it. I've never even heard of anyone having this issue. Thank you in advance! | Mom and I held accountable for same accidents/tickets, what do? |
t3_2o7ll4 | relationship_advice | Feeling Unwanted | I, 22M, have been with my 21 year old girlfriend for over a year now. The first 6 months were awesome. Lately though, she seems to have little to no interest in anything sexual. I've brought up my concern to her multiple times, but she normally gets upset with me bringing it up or says I'm pressuring her. I've brought it up multiple times saying I'm unhappy with how things are but she almost seems to push it aside or not take me seriously. I've asked her about her sex drive before and she says she wouldn't classify herself as low sex drive, which scares me even more. It makes me feel bad that I am constantly trying to initiate things and am always being shut down by her. I don't really know what to do. | Girlfriend seems uninterested in anything sexual and it's bothering me. |
t3_1skoz7 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my new [31 F] girlfriend/coworker, making it hard because I am her supervisor at work | Both my coworker and I have worked together for almost 10 years and become very close over the years. Our kids have become best friends and we both decided that being more then friends is something we both want.
We went to HersheyPark Christmas Candylane on Saturday as our official "first date". The relationship is amazing and we both can not be happier. Her big concern is that I am her supervisor at work and she is afraid that other employees will say things to her and/or act stupid because we are together. She does not want to break up an "amazing" relationship and our kids are really attached to each other.
My job does not say anything about coworkers having relationships with other coworkers. She is not worried about that but she is worried about other coworkers saying things to her. I keep reassuring her that we have worked with everyone for years and we are like family. Plus those he say things or do things most of the time are jealous and she should just ignore it.
My question is...is there any other ways to reassure her and give her some relief? Just looking for some other ideas that I may not have thought of. | GF is worried about me being her supervisor at work. Need ideas to calm her down about other coworkers. |
t3_3hlod8 | relationships | Am I messed up for this? 25(M) and 25(F) | With this post I am looking for advice on why I feel guilty one way but not the other. And if there is any sense to the way I think.
I know everyone will probably rip me a new one on here but I am going to post this anyway wondering if anyone feels the same. I have been dating a girl for 3 years and I feel like I would feel guilty cheating on her with another girl. But I have payed for rub and tugs and been with other men etc but don't feel bad and almost feel like it isn't cheating. I am wondering if anyone knows why I think like this? and is it feasible? | Feel guilty cheating with a girl but not for paid service. |
t3_2gj7uk | offmychest | My girlfriend is a prude and I'm tired of it | We have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years (4 in total) thanks to college. (I'm in Texas, she's in Cali) Since the beginning of our sexual experiences, she was not very open with doing new things. She would barely let me touch her, we only ever did one position, and was very against even talking about sex. Luckily after a while, a few things changed, but the distance just killed our sexuality.There is little sexual attraction between us. She hates to text about sex and will not send anything sexual to me, and when i visit, we do have sex, but it feels like she just wants to get it over with. I engage in foreplay with her and give her oral to get her in the mood, which helps, but she doesn't return the favor. I am sexually deprived and would never consider cheating. When i bring it up she gets angry and claims that sex is all i ever care about.
Anyway, I am hoping somebody could help me with a way to deal with it and try to bring our sexual relationship back. I don't force her into doing anything. I sometimes suggest it, but again, she just gets mad. I'd like her just to be more open with her sexuality. I know this makes me sound selfish, but I am at a point where I just want to relieve this sexual desire. | My girlfriend is prudish and i'd like for her to be more sexually open |
t3_3eowp1 | relationships | Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description | I [M/21] got into a bit of an argument with my brother [M/23] over how he treats our mom. He has viciously attacked her over things that had nothing to do with her and all she was trying to do is be supportive of him. He treats her like his punching bag, and I just got tired of it. He came out yelling at her calling her "fucking stupid pos" etc, and I just said something to the effect of "why don't you just start punching her in the face?" and then when into spiel about how he treats her. he got mad and started coming at me like he was going to "beat me up" and clearly did not get the message. I understand displacing anger every once in a while, *but this is every single day almost without fail.* This happened last Thursday.
I've kind of always had a sour relationship with him, he says extremely racist and various bigoted things all the time. How many times have I heard his "I don't have black people, I hate niggers" speech is beyond me, he has a fucking Confederate flag hanging in his room...and we live in Pennsylvania. I just don't like him in general, hes arrogant, hateful, and always angry.
**However,** my mom seems to just forgive and forget what he does and did. She wants me to make it right with him, and I've kind of always just looked the other way and acted like everything is okay between him and I for her sake. I more or less, no apology or of the sort would "make things right" with him and I now. I really want to see him change as a person before I'd consider having a relationship with him again, because I can't take the way he is anymore. I also feel like if I don't hold my ground on this, he'll just go right back to doing the same thing and my word won't mean anything later. Yet I don't want my mom to be upset at the same time. | Brother is bigoted, hateful, angry, arrogant person who I got into an argument with and stopped talking to because how he treats my mom like a punching bag. My mom wants me to forgive him and make amends but I don't think I want to. Advice? |
t3_3j4itn | relationships | My [32 M] wife [30 F] lies about where she is | Hey reddit. This is a really weird situation, so I hope you guys can help me out. My wife and I have been dating for 8 years now, married for 3. We have a very healthy sex life, and up until now, have had no serious issues. My wife has always had a better job than me, and often has to work late hours, and go to meetings around town. She also has a group of friends that I know personally, and she is aware that I am okay with her going out at all hours with anyone she pleases, as long as she gives me a heads up at least, just in case something would stop me from being able to take care of our child. [2 M] if it matters.
Recently she told me that she was meeting with her higher ups after work to talk about a project. I said okay, and went on with my night. The next morning, she is next to me in bed, I say good morning, and log onto my Facebook as I usually do. I was shocked to see picture of my wife with her friends getting drunk at a bar. There was no reason for her to lie to me! I would have been okay with her going out! As much as Reddit hates it, I began to do some snooping and found that this was not the first time. Many times when she said she had something work related, she would be with her friends. I know she is not having an affair, as the dates add up with pictures and stuff. I am not sure what to do guys. I have not told her I know yet. Should I even be angry? I just do not understand why, even though I made it clear she can do whatever she wants with her friends, she would lie to me? | Wife is lying about where she isO |
t3_1ebt5w | relationships | [20M] Not sure why she doesn't give me a shout [20F] | Been dating her for 5 months. Progress has been slow (We've only made out) and we haven't seen that much of each other because of school and schedules. Still, she seems pretty into me, always smiles ear to ear when I kiss her. But when I tell her to give me a shout to hang out when she's free she doesn't. She was on a road trip with her mother for the past few days and I told her to hit me up when she got bored and she said she was sure that she would. And yet, nothing. Am I doing something wrong? Is she not that interested or forgetful? Am I over thinking this? Probably. | Girl I'm dating has trouble getting back to me when I ask her to. |
t3_do7ol | AskReddit | Computer Science Degree? | So, I like computers(programming, data manipulation, multimedia, repair, etc.) , I like numbers, and I like to argue. Third year college student deciding to switch from PreMed Biology.
Option A: Accounting degree on to Law School for Corporate Law.
Pros: Job security, pay, and "prestige" (whatever the f*** that is), OR just do litigation and open private office.
Cons: Stay in school until I am 27-28, very stressful, LONG hours. Basically why I am staying away from Pre-Med with less bodily fluids involved.
Option B: Computer Science BS and then Masters.
Pros: Majority of career paths more relaxing than Option A, I really enjoy computers, and pay possibly?
Cons: All the bullsh!t I am hearing about how useless and obsolete you become.
Basically I am wondering if a Computer Science Degree is "worth it?" I mean I keep hearing about all this outsourcing yadda yadda and age discrimination... basically not being able to keep a steady job nor one past the age of 45. I would love just to write code, do information security or just solve problems all day, maybe even 3D rendering or animation (I am one of those "if its creative (music, art, etc.) I can do it" kind of people). I don't mind keeping up with certificated or learning something new every day.. I mean that is just technology in general. But I would like to have a decent enough salary to start a family one day and not be up to my eyeballs in debt. | Is a computer science degree worth it in that the pay is decent and the jobs semi-stable? Are all the rumors about the industry being destroyed by outsourcing and age discrimination true? |
t3_z4rwh | relationship_advice | Completely mixed feelings | Hey Reddit, this might be a bit of a weird story, but I just found out today and am trying hard to cope with it. Apologies in advance for weird grammar
Basically, I had a girlfriend several years ago that I broke up with because I thought she cheated on me with this other guy. However, today as I was sifting through my old emails, I found one from her and the guy she "cheated" on me with, and it turns out that she DIDN'T cheat; she had just staged the entire thing with said person (who was actually a good friend of mine at the time) because she couldn't break up. What this means is, all the years I've spent since hating her, him, doubting life, etc **was a lie.**
What should I do? I have another girlfriend now, and I haven't really talked to said ex-gf in several years... | ex-gf that I thought cheated on me, actually didn't cheat on me |
t3_4hwmv6 | relationships | My [31 F] Mother [64 F] talks incessantly during movies and TV shows. I get irrationally angry by this and then yell at her which makes both of us sad. What can I do? | She just won't shut up.
It can be a movie or show we have never seen before, or one that I've seen before, or one that she has seen before.
Example of movie neither of us has seen before:
Her: "Who's that guy? Why did that guy say that? What does that mean???!"
Me: "I don't know. I've never seen this before, either. I think they are trying to create some suspense because we don't know, let's just let the story unfold."
Her: "What did that guy say when I said 'who's that guy?' Why did that lady say that to him? Who's that?"
Me: "SHHHHHH!!!!! You're ruining the movie for everyone!!! Just shut up, already!"
Of course, it's even worse if she has seen the movie before and you haven't. Then it's a continual dialogue of "You won't believe what's going to happen next! Can you guess? I can tell you! Here's what's about to happen."
Is there anyway to stop this? For the most part, I have just very rarely watched anything with her for the last 15 years and when I have I have made sure it was nothing that I did not mind being ruined. | My mom refuses to be quiet during movies and it destroys my ability to enjoy watching movies with her. I then yell at her and we all feel bad. |
t3_2ziehk | jobs | Dear /r/jobs/, progressive companies, where are they? | I define a progressive company as a company that:
a) trusts its employees
b) offers employees autonomy and independence
c) is transparent regarding salaries and information in general
d) presents a clear vision of the goals and purpose of the company
e) employees collaborate instead of compete for promotions
Unfortunately, the attention of most people is stolen by big corporations, where often the purpose is to climb the career ladder instead of actually making a difference in the world. I had an epiphany after interviews with some of the most prestigious corporations in the world. I realized that it is all a game of money, prestige, and status; a game I like to call the "career game". I realized that I do not wish to play this game. Instead, I am interested in finding companies that *get it*.
As an example take SuperCell (the game company behind Clash of Clans and Hay Day). They have small independent cells of highly talented people, and the results speak for themselves. I am convinced this type of company culture is the way of the future, especially when more of the Gen Y population get into more prominent positions.
I find that these type of "smart" companies are often small, and therefore difficult to find. It seems that from job-boards it is like searching a needle from a haystack. Also, LinkedIn is the embodiment of status anxiety, bloated egos, and inflated merits. Thus, I am at a loss. Dear /r/jobs/, do you have any ideas how to find "smart" companies? | OP is disillusioned by the career game, and is curious on how to find companies that have a soul. |
t3_2budvo | relationships | I [25 F] need help writing a "I'm going no contact" message for my [32 M] ex; he thinks we can still be friends, I don't. | My ex and I were together for two years, six months of which we lived together.
He broke up with me at the beginning of July out of the blue, saying he thought we'd be better as friends from now on.
I'm about to move out of our place in the next few days, and I've told him that once I've moved out I can't be his friend, at least not at first, because I still love him, and I pretty much think his reasons for our breakup are bullshit.
The bizarre thing is that despite having told him that IN PERSON, TO HIS FACE, he's still acting like and talking as if we're going to be in each other's lives. He's asked if he can meet my new roommates and see my new place, if I would have him over for dinner, has tried at least three times to make plans with me for upcoming weekends - things like that.
When I move out, I'm not planning on messaging him, speaking to him, or seeing him for at least a month, if not longer. No contact has always been the way I heal best after a breakup, and in many cases I've actually never seen an ex again after we've had "the talk". Because talking in person to my ex about this doesn't seem to have got through to him, it'd be great if anyone had ideas about how to draft a message to send to him if/when he tries to contact me after I move.
Any thoughts, reddit? I'm asking for help because I'm afraid that the first time he tries to contact me I'll flip out at him for the confusing way he's been treating me, and figure if you guys help me out, I'll be less likely to say something I'd regret. | My ex can't seem to accept that I'm not going to be in his life after I move out, even though I've told him that to his face. Please help me write a "I'm going no-contact with you" message! |
t3_h4hhq | cats | I need some advice on our cat. We just rescued him, already sick, worried he will never like us again. | So we rescued a cat on Monday, shelter says he is in great health. He moves in, first day is great, a sneeze here and there though. Second day the sneezes are terrible, and that night he breathes with his mouth open. We took him to the vet this morning and found he has an upper respiratory infection, and worms. We got a perscription to give him, pills.
Tonight we gave him his second dose of the meds, it was very difficult and both my fiance and I were scratched up pretty bad. Now he hides from us, backs away from our attempts to pet him. My fiance is in tears thinking about how he will be afraid of us for good now. | We rescued a cat who turned out to be sick, giving him meds has made him hate us. We are worried that we are making too bad of a first impression and he will never be ok around us. |
t3_41clld | tifu | TIFU by making fun of a teacher's boobs | I guess I need to start this post off by saying this takes place in 2nd grade, but I still think of this to this day.
Back at my school, we had a daycare that was included. School would end at 3 PM and you could stay in the daycare until 6 PM. This daycare consisted of 2 monitors and 1 helper. Let's call the helper Amy. Among the older kids, Amy was the shit. She was flipping hot and all my friends (who were older than me) wanted to talk to her. One day, we were talking in a circle. Me, being the short 8 year-old I was, would often jump up and down to get to their height. I remember we were talking about pokemon. I was about to say something when Miss Amy cut me off. I got really angry and tried to tell her it was my turn but she wouldn't listen. Eventually, I jumped up and grabbed both her boobs. This got her really mad and she started yelling at me, telling me to get off. When I eventually let go, she asked "WHY DID YOU GRAB MY BOOBS?" to which I answered "I couldn't see them they were too small!" My friends burst into laughter and one of the monitors called my parents and sent me home early. My Mom tried talking to me about how you should never make fun of women's breasts but I pretended to be asleep the whole car ride. | in case you're very lazy: |
t3_ytcz6 | legaladvice | I brought bedbugs home from a hotel while on vacation in California, I live in Idaho. Do I have any legal leg to stand on to get reimbursed for expenses? | I stayed in a motel in California last week and while we were there I noticed a few bites on my kids, but didn't think anything of it and assumed it was just a reaction to the humidity. I've gotten back home and my kids (2 & 4) have numerous bites all over them and are miserable. I don't yet know if I have infested my home but I've checked into a hotel ($101/night) for the next three days to spray and clean everything we brought back with us from the vacation. My wife is visibly freaked out and doesn't even sleep well anymore since she hates bugs and is constantly checking herself over in the mirror to make sure she isn't covered in bugs. This experience in awful and I believe the hotel should have to pay for their negligence in cleaning to at least pay for the costs of my temporary housing and having professional extermination if it comes down to it. (Bedbug sniffing dog inspection is ~$200, treatment is $800+). I do have ARAG legal insurance through my employeer that should help but I don't know where to even start building a case on a Saturday (my only day off from work).
What are the next steps I can take before I contact a lawyer on Monday? | Got bed bugs on vacation, kids are bit to hell and back and wife is freaked out about creepy crawlies and can't sleep. I want the hotel to pay for their negligence. |
t3_2xcx7j | tifu | TIFU By Playing Hide and Seek. | My FU starts about a week ago. I was babysitting my sister-in-laws kids with my wife. They are a boy and girl, ages 2 and 5 respectively. Shortly before bed time they asked if I could play hide and seek with them. This is kind of a tradition with us and we do it every time we watch them, they enjoy it because I make it really easy for them. Having my feet stick out from under a blanket for example.
Anyway I chose to hide in the bathroom right behind the door. It was my nephews turn to find everyone. He had found everyone else already and I could hear him getting closer to my hiding spot. And this is where my FU happens. I get the brilliant idea to say boo right when he comes around the door. He sticks his head around the door and we make eye contact. I yell the loudest boo I ever had he screams and then starts giggling that giggle little kids do when they've just seen the funniest thing ever. Alls good right? Nope.
Fast forward about a week and I get a call from my sister in law asking me why her two year old, who she has been struggling with potty training for a while now, is suddenly afraid of bathrooms. I tell her what happened and that I thought everything was okay. She starts yelling at me about being irresponsible etc. etc. Then she calls my wife and chews her out. Now my wife is mad because of my poor judgement. Im hoping everything will be ok but I think I should just lay low from that side of the family for a while. | I played hide and seek with a two year old and may have ruined all the potty training my Sister-in-law has done. |
t3_105leq | relationships | Planning for disabled sibling's [34yo] care post-parents -- Dad [late 60s] said "well she can just die" | our Mom [mid 60s] asked if he was kidding--he was not. Myself and the other siblings are 36, 27, and 24. This does not come as a great surprise; when our disabled sibling turned 18, he refused to sign on as a legal guardian because "s/he is not my child".
The majority of our parents' income comes from him. Disabled sibling cannot live alone--perhaps a shared roommate situation with a paid caregiver split between several roommates is tenable, but hard to arrange.
As siblings we make OK income--but not the best. None of us makes more than 30K/year.
Any advice?
Not sure how to | this |
t3_q39ab | relationship_advice | Started seeing an ex, she seems cold to me now | I dated a girl when I was 18, we had a pretty tremulous relationship, which I think was the result of sexual incompatibility at the time. Fast forward to now and we've went on two dates and had some pretty epic sex. Throughout this whole time I've been telling her my feelings toward the whole situation, and recently she's stopped returning my phone calls and texts. It's been a few days, but the last text I sent her said "I'm completely infatuated with you" and she replied "Thank you for that sweet text". Everything I've told her, she's told me she was feeling the same way.
Also, she's aware that I'm dating multiple women, and I have a trip coming up very soon where I'll be seeing one of the girls. I told her this right in the beginning, and it didn't appear to bother her. I also informed her that I was willing to stop seeing all of the other girls to focus on developing our relationship, but I wouldn't cancel the trip because I've spent a lot of money and so has the person I'm going to see. It would be unfair to do this to either me or the other girl after two dates.
Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if she has any feelings toward me. I'm not sure if my feelings toward her, which are very strong at the moment are just me handling unfinished experiences from the past, or perhaps I came on too strong with this girl and need to back off a little bit. Usually I'm good with girls, but this one has me stumped. Thoughts? | Dating multiple women. Going on a trip to see one soon. One girl that I dated in the past and that I'm particularly interested in stopped responding to my calls and texts. We've hung out twice and I may have come on too strong. |
t3_qyo8a | AskReddit | AskReddit: I have my first real interview coming up next week. What can I do to prepare and impress? | As the title says, I'm interviewing next week at a very large company next week. I'm a college student and this is my first really big interview. It's for a summer internship in research and development-- I'm really excited and ridiculously nervous.
I passed the first few rounds of interviewing: submitting an application, completing the tests they wanted, and having a phone interview. Next week they're flying me into their city and putting me up in a hotel so that I can have a day tour of the company. A host is even taking me out to dinner the night before!
I understand that this will involve more interviews and a few more tests. The opportunity to work with this company would be amazing and I want to do whatever I can to show them that I'm what they want. I think I know the basics of preparation-- dress well, come up with good and honest answers to popular interview questions, and be polite-- but what are some not as obvious ways I should or could be preparing? Any tips or suggestions for really landing a job that I want? | I have a big job interview coming up. What are some not as obvious ways I can prepare? |
t3_1d37w1 | dating_advice | Should I M (25) ask her F (24) to be official...dating about a month and a half. | So we have been dating about a month and a half, and she has expressed to me that she wants to go slowly and needs space some days, which I am cool with. At this point we are exclusive, but we have no title on anything apart from our dating. I also want to add that we have known each other for 10 years.
Last weekend, we went to Toronto with all my friends and had a great time, slept together, romance, and the whole 9 yards. After we came back, there was a family party that I asked her about a few days prior. She agreed to going, and showed me affection in front of my family.
We hung out Monday, and she was really bummed out cause she lost her ipod in Toronto. Over the next couple of days, I decided to find the same model on craigslist and upload a bunch of her favorite music onto it. I haven't given it to her yet, it's gonna be a surprise.
I realized that the move with the ipod was very boyfriendish...so I decided that I'm acting like one, why shouldn't I be one?
So where I am right now, is I want her to be my girlfriend. I like her a lot...what do? | friends with a girl for ten years, dating for a month and a half seeing a lot of each other. We went on a vacation out of town with friends, immediately after she met my family and was receptive. She expressed how awesome the weekend was. I want to make her my girlfriend. |
t3_2ev589 | relationships | My[M22] ex girl friend[F21] and I broke up after 4 years. Not sure what to do with social events and mutual friends | So some background info. This is my first relationship and we were going out for 4 years before breaking up. We met in college in a small program and over the years have made several mutual friends, that are in the same program as the both of us.
Now from reading up on r/relationships I know the first thing to do is cut all contact. But how do I go about doing this when it's likely that I will be seeing her at parties and other events. Should I just not go to events where I think she'll be? Most if not all our friends are good mutual friends so this is a tough situation for me.
Other than this what should I be doing? Currently I'm just sitting around at home, watching Netflix or hanging out with friends once in a while. I'm not sure how to get over this break up, as i feel like i won't find someone like her again. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks everyone.
<b> | Broke up with my first and only girlfriend of 4 years. What to do with social events where ex will be. Most friends are mutual. Need advice on breakups in general<\b> |
t3_4igsze | relationships | Me [16F] have fallen in love with my best friend [16M] and I am terrified of what he will say when I ask him out | I live in a relatively small town in the US. There are only like 7000 people here. It does not sound small but, when you compare it to other places.
I have fallen in love with my good, hell best friend. We have grown up across the street from each other, we go to high school together. We hang out together alot. I can talk to him about anything, as disturbing as it sounds when I got really period pains I called him. He came over despite having no idea what to do
My heart pounds whenever I see him, I started to feel this way last Halloween. We always go to the park in the fall on Halloween and mess around.
I wanted to ask them out yesterday, but I am scared of what he will say. I wanted to go across the street today and ask him and I stopped myself. I am terrified, I feel like I am going to be sick. | I want to ask my best friend out but I am terrified of his response |
t3_4wphxi | relationships | My (28M) girlfriend (26F) just broke up with me a week ago, and I want her back. | My girlfriend broke up with me this weekend because of an argument we had after we went out with her friends. I totally understand why we broke up.
Some back story: she was my best friend and we were together for almost 6 years. The first few years was a dream come true. We were both really happy with each other and comfortable with each other. We've been arguing A LOT the last couple of years and it was always because I started it. She's not a very affectionate person and I get so insecure when she hangs out with her friends and don't pay attention to me. Finally this past weekend she told me she can't handle it anymore and she needs to be away from me. She can't be with someone who is fueled by bitterness, jealousy, and negativity. I love her and to be honest she'll be happier without me in her life right now. But I need her. I know I can change back to be the person I was before all the insecurity, the person she fell in love with before. After the break up, we agreed to stay as friends and we can revisit our life in a few months to see if we really need each, and if we do we can get back together. I don't want to wait a few months. We are going to go dinner tomorrow and I plan to just be her friend and not pressure her to get back together. Be the positive person I used to be for her and just hope she'll fall in love with me again. Some of my friends think it's the dumbest idea ever for my goal to be to get her back and we broke up for a reason. What should I do? | girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me because I am a horrible person. I don't know what to do and I want to win her back. |
t3_4plc0t | askwomenadvice | BFF [F/18] giving weird signals to me [M/19] Don't know what to do | I know I [M/19] posted here a few days ago about hurting my best friend [F/18] by saying something stupid and didn't mean. [Link to post] and its a little soon to post again. But things are a little confusing, well even more, and would like some input.
After the post toward the end of the day she sent me a snap and we talked for awhile and things seemed fine, but the next day she acted strange and distance. The following day seemed fine talked for an hour, but again at the end of the day started being distant and weird again.Today when I messaged her we talked kinda. We got 7 texts in and she started yelling at me and telling me to go and leave her alone.
I didn't do anything to make her angry while we were talking that I know of just being friendly and talked like we use to. She's definitely still upset with me and I was gonna give her space but she came to me to talk. If she wasn't ready to talk to me then why message me? She goes back and forth between hating me and things getting better.
I do try and talk it out but after talking about it for a little and making some sort of progress she just's ignores me for the rest of the day every time, then the cyclical of what I wrote happens again.
What I would like to know and asking is what does she want from me? One minute I think she's starting to forgive me then the next she tells me to leave. This is very confusing and misleading | BFF still mad, juggles back and forth from trying to work things out and getting better to hating me again and wanted me to go away. Any insight or something would be great |
t3_4aqpye | relationships | I [23F] somehow, even after years pass, end up reconnecting with my ex [24M]. We're just really bad at being friends. | We dated on and off in high school and college, even did a year of long distance we he joined the Navy. Its been two years since we broke up and in attempts to test the "friendship waters" I inadvertently stirred up a lot of emotions within him.
I feel naive, for even trying, but it seemed ok at first. Short and amicable. About a month or so later though, it kind of blew up. Its not just emotions about our past, but a lot of anxiety about his job. He doesn't have any support systems and is under a tremendous amount of pressure. Like I said, I feel naive for taking that first step in communicating... I feel like I am not the right person to be there for him.
I worry a lot about the alternative though: him continuing these really unhealthy social and emotional behaviors. If I cut ties (again), not only will he feel rejected yet again but he will also be left with no outlet for the intense struggles he has. | How do I remove myself from my ex's life when I care about his well being and I know he doesn't have anyone else to share his struggles with? |
t3_2yiwii | tifu | TIFU by not knowing how to cut a cake. | Reddit, tonight I fucked up by not knowing how to cut a cake.
My wife was drunk and decided to spend her evening baking us a chocolate coconut cake.
I was high and thought that was a great idea.
Once it was ready, I grabbed a fork and was ready to go to town on this thing when my wife says,
"No. Cut yourself a slice"
This was in a deep rectangular pan, and little did I know, but it was supposed to be cut into slices like a loaf of bread.
But me? I'm stupid and thought it was supposed to be cut into little squares.
So I get a knife and start to cut a square out in the corner.
"What are you doing? Why don't you just cut it all the way across?"
My stupid stoned ass couldn't process anything other than wanting to eat cake. So I act fast and think slow, and say "Like this?" as I take the knife straight down the middle of the cake, lengthwise.
Needless to say she is pissed that I ruined her cake, and I was sent to bed with only a half a slice of chocolate coconut cake, as she's stewing out on the couch. | I have a half a slice of cake that I'm too guilty to eat. Anyone hungry? |
t3_31qmkh | tifu | TIFU By inadvertently supporting spousal Abuse. Obligatory did not happen around today but several weeks ago. | I am a sophmore in college and I was in my Social Studies class for my GE. Let me start off by saying my class is made up of approximately 40 people 30 of them being women. My Teacher was starting a lecture about spousal abuse. The Ray Rice video is brought up about how he knocked out his then fiancee. Well most of the women were talking about what a monster this guy is and so on. I felt like he was being a bit misrepresented. I said that to me, what he did was wrong but that he had a defensive posture almost the whole time and that his fiancee hit him twice in the face and spat on him. At what point does it become mutual combat and at what point is he defending himself. Is it wrong just because he is a man and shes a woman or is it wrong because he is a lot larger than her. If a man her height and weight did this to him would it be such a big thing deal, or what if a women did the same thing, would we be this upset. I just wanted to fuel discussion and try and explain that this is a more complicated issue and he was not entirely to blame. Needless to say that this did not go over well and now most the class thinks I beat women fml. | I tried to play devils advocate for Ray Rice, now everyone thinks I beat women. |
t3_258xfa | relationships | Me [25F] Introduced my BF [25M] to my Lesbian BFF. Now they talk a lot. | My boyfriend is in the army and stationed about 4 1/2 hours away from my location. I have a great friend who is gay. She wants to start working out, and my bf is a huge fitness buff, so I asked if he could help her out. They exchanged numbers, are on each others instagram, and snapchat as well.
Today, my friend kept talking about him and how great he is. She then was going to show me something on her phone, and her snapchat was on and I saw his name a few times.
No biggie I guess, I don't want to make a big deal over something like snapchat. I don't want to be childish. He told me last night he couldn't really talk on the phone since his battery was dying. Today, my friend said he sent her pics of him and his cats last night. I feel confused about this. I don't know how to bring it up since I want to be happy that my boyfriend and best friend are getting along. It should be a good sign since they both seem to care about me.
But I feel really conflicted about this. They seem to have a lot of things in common, and I feel they're talking to each other a lot more than fitness things. | My Boyfriend and Best friend who is a lesbian are now friends and seem to be getting real close. I don't know how to feel about this. |
t3_vylfw | AskReddit | Took Adderall for the first time today as someone with "controllable" ADD, and it had amazing effects. ADD/ADHD'ers of reddit, what are normal vs. medicated days like for you? | I'll start off by saying that "controllable" ADD is probably not a real thing. If I went to a doctor I may not be diagnosed, but honestly I've never considered doing it because even though I have many of the symptoms (distracted easily, jump from task to task frequently, trouble focusing all the time), it's definitely a mild case, and I've gotten by in school and work so far. It's more of a frustration than anything else, but since it's mild and if I try hard I can focus, it's not worth adding to the statistics of an already over-diagnosed disorder.
But I tried one of my friend's Adderall's this morning at work, and after the initial paranoia of what's going to happen after trying a new drug, I had 6 of the most efficient hours of work I can remember. It was unbelievable the focus and drive I had to complete task after task, all while happily ignoring my personal email account, text messages, and my usual distractions.
What got me thinking was that I only took a third to half of my friend's pill, so I'm wondering what is it like for those of who have a strong case of ADD/ADHD? Does medication bring you to full focus like I experienced, or is it more controllable distractions? What are the days off the medication like? Do you ever avoid taking your meds because it feels like you're not being *you*? | Mild case of ADD and Adderall made my day crazy efficient. How do meds actually affect people with a strong case of ADD? |
t3_16u75k | relationships | Girlfriend [18] becoming increasingly more religious. Don't know how to slow her down. | [Both 18], dating for nearly a year. We both go to different universities and the long distance is fine, no problems. We were both raised Jewish, her much more seriously than me. I had a bar mitzvah but only went to synagogue for the high holidays. She is becoming even more religious than her moderately religious family. The Jewish community at her school is very strong and she's been becoming increasingly more religious. She's beginning to take things to an extreme. Wearing long skirts during the week. Not using her phone of computer on the Sabbath, and keeps bringing up that i should be more connected to my faith. My school has a very small Jewish community. I have no problem with that. How can I tell her to slow things down without being rude? Do you think this change for her will slow down when she is out of school in a less Jewish area? | Girlfriend getting very religiously Jewish. Don't know how to talk to her about taking it easy. |
t3_2e972e | offmychest | To the customer who walked in only to ask for directions | Oh you don't know your way around town? How about use GPS on your fucking smartphone? Even better, get your directions before driving. You interrupt a busy service from afar, speaking over the ambient noise of the store and make misleading hand gestures pointing to our menu, causing me to construe your inquiry as one about mixing a drink "three ways". I tell you that it's possible, and ask which three. You fucking ignore me, turn away from me with a face that screams "Forget it, this fucking idiot can't answer my question", and walk out of the store.
MAYBE I could have answered your question if you forgave my mistaken listening, came closer and asked me again that you wanted to know about freeways. Asshole. | Service was busy, the context made me misinterpret customer's question about freeways as "three ways", to which I assumed he was asking if he could mix three flavors. He rudely blows me off. |
t3_40r5zn | tifu | TIFU by singing Ed Sheeran | This fuckup happened on Saturday afternoon.
So me and my gf were on our way to the supermarket to pick up a few things on the way home, and in the car the Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran is playing on the radio. This is one of those songs that always get stuck in my head, and I was singing it in my head / humming it while getting my shopping.
So after we went through the checkout, we were making our way to the exit. And that's when I started singing,
*"When your legs don't work like they used to before"*.
That's when I suddenly noticed the lady right in front of us, who had been rolling herself along in a wheelchair. She stopped, looked behind her and shot me the meanest look I've ever been given. As soon as I realised what I'd said, I felt like the biggest dickhead ever. Unfortunately she wheeled off before I had the chance to apologise.
So, lady in the wheelchair who I tastelessly serenaded; forgive me. | I offended a lady in a wheelchair with a beautiful song about growing old together. |
t3_oh4ql | AskReddit | Reddit - I KNOW this question gets asked A LOT, but how do you actually make friends without blindly surrounding yourself with people? In other words, how do you engage? | Often I see questions like this submitted and the general consensus is to go to clubs, take a class, just basically surround yourself with people.
I feel like I can do that, and I can talk to people and stuff, but I can never seem to get to that 'friendship' level. I mean a lot of the people I've met in these things would definitely say hello to me if they saw me at the mall or on the street, but it's more like a "yeah that's Brad from so-and-so" rather than an actual friend.
So let's say YOU join a club and you're basically an outsider. After the hello's and seeing them a few times how do you go further without coming across as creepy? I mean inviting someone for lunch or something just sounds really weird to me, some might think you're trying to date them. And it's not like I could invite some people to 'hang out with my friends', because I really don't have any.
What would you do? What do you suggest? | How do you make friends in clubs/classes and not just the 'hi/hello' type, but an actual friendship? |
t3_32bz2a | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] 2 years, is the relationship useless? | My boyfriend just told me he doesn't know if we will survive staying together this summer. He says he needs to focus on his job and the stock market because he wants to start earning money to move out and do what he loves. Which is traveling and he needs lots of money to do that.
He doesn't really want to get into university even though he applied. We both would be going to universities in the same city so it wouldn't be a long distance thing.
He thinks since we won't see each other at all during the summer, we can get over each other faster. So if we break up it won't hurt as bad.
I plan on going just because I don't think I'm good enough to rely solely on the stock market right now.
I guess what I'm wondering is, are we just delaying a break up? Are just faking this relationship even though we know it'll end? | Mandatory summary/question! |
t3_2cvp6u | relationships | I [21 M] want to suggest a open relationship with my [22 F] room mate. Recommended? | We are both students living together. We are only two in our apartment and we like it that way. By chance we where living together and just so happens that we agree on a lot and even have the same habits (heavy mj smoker etc).
I frequently have some girls over, she frequently has guys over so we pretty much have the same lifestyle, but we just don't go out together or anything. I do my thing, she does her. I only see her mostly at our place.
I'm positive that we would fuck each other if it wasn't for the fact that we were living together. We both know, except never talked about it, that you just don't start fucking each other because then feelings get involved and you never know what can go wrong and then we it's awkward in the house.
So I was wondering, what about a open relationship? I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of people my age want right now as well. I couldn't give a fuck if he's fucking other guys, I don't want to sleep in the same bed as her, I just think it would be really nice to live with someone who you can fuck with and have a smoke at the end of the night and then go to your own beds.
Would an open relationship work? or would it eventually just crumble down to a regular relationship because we are living together? Where any of you in similar relationships? | roommate and me are not fucking because we are roommates, should we try an open relationship? |
t3_lb7bt | AskReddit | People Do Strange Things(Hookup Edition) | Redditors, what crazy shit have you seen after a hookup?
I met this very attractive woman at a bar and we hit it off. We ended up partying all night before ending up at her place. We started hooking up but she puts the brakes on and says, "If we still like each other in the morning...". I thought it was kind of a neat idea and I wash 90% sure I would still be down in the morning so I passed out.
Next morning we chat for awhile and then get it on. Over the course of the morning and early afternoon we chug along.
Cut to:
So, we are talking about going to lunch and I inquire as to where she would like me to deposit the condoms. She takes them from me, steps over to her dresser, opens the dresser, produces a ziplock back into which she proceeds to deposit said condoms. Oh, right, she put the bag back in the dresser... | Had sex with chick...she kept genetic material. |
t3_1u2q45 | relationships | [19M] What kind of relationship should I approach with her? | I've met this girl, she's cute sweet smart and into a whole bunch of the same things that I am. But our social circles are so interlocked, we have way too many classes together, time for a full relationship will be limited, and to be frank I'm an asshole/liar/acused of being a sociopath.
I care about this girl, something that doesn't happen often, and I don't want to hurt her in anyway. Unfortunately the idea of a girl I like this much being attracted to me is something I can't just let die. I don't know whether I should
a) Ask her out and try my best not to never hurt her.
b) Attempt a friends with benefits/ sexual relationship with her
c) Drop it and stay friends where I can cause the least amount of damage.
If I choose "A" should I adress my issues honestly with her if things ever get serious?
If I choose "B" how can I approach this without a douche baggy "ey bby u want sum fuk".
If I choose "C" should I just cut out any flirting or... How do I friendzone her? | I don't know whether I should date, fwb, or just be friends with this girl because I tend to hurt people. |
t3_4nkoab | relationships | My (24F) sister (30F) scolded me for not visiting my mother (50sF) on her birthday even though she told me not to | It might be worth reading my post from last week. I can't link it because I'm on mobile.
I've been incredibly busy just recently. I've just finished an intense 1 year nursing course and it's been back to back for months. My last few assignments were in this week so I took last week of work and just worked from 9am to 1am pretty much every day.
It was my mothers birthday on Sunday and I phoned her on the Friday before. I told her I was hoping to visit on the Sunday, but I was massively drowning in work that had to be in Monday at 8am, so I wasn't sure when or for how long or if at all. She said this wasn't a problem at all, and to leave it until the week if I was so busy. Great.
Since the weather was nice she decided (on the Saturday) to have a bbq on her birthday (Sunday) and invited my sister and BIL and kids over, plus her sister and husband and kids. I was still drowning in work on the Sunday, and since she had so many other people over and therefore just visiting for 15 minutes seemed impossible, I rang her and told her I wouldn't be able to make it. Again, she was fine and said to visit in the week.
Yesterday I spoke to my sister who told me how upset and disappointed my mother is for me not visiting. My sister couldn't understand why 15 minutes would ruin my plan for the day (15 minutes would be more like an hour and there's travel and everything else). I made the point that if she really wanted me there she could have said at any point. She told me not to come if I was busy and so I didn't. How am I supposed to know it would make her upset when she told me to do it?!
I don't know whether to bring this up with my mother or just let it blow over?
It's made me feel awful that I've upset her but I believed I was doing as she wanted.
Any advice? | sister said mother was upset that I'd didn't visit for her birthday. I was incredibly busy and she told me to just visit in the week when I'd finished everything. |
t3_3rboy6 | relationships | [21 M] I don't know how to feel or go about my friendship with this woman [23 F] | We met through the internet, it took a while but we finally met.
Thing is, she already has a boyfriend. I'm fine with that I think. I just wanted a pretty friend who liked me for my personality.
Right now I'm just friends with her. I'm not exactly in love with her. I never touched her sexually or anything. I sort of desire it, but I blame my heterosexuality for that. She is a cute girl.
I guess its weird. Because the first time we met, we met behind her boyfriend's back. So being sneaky in a way.
So that is a big issue in our friendship. HOWEVER, I want her to be happy and I hope she is happy with her relationship. I'm not out to destroy it or anything. I'm just her friend.
Am I doing anything wrong? Is there anything wrong with me being friends with a woman who already has a boyfriend? It's not like I'm kissing her or anything. The most I've given her was just a simple hug.
I don't know, I just feel kind of weird about all of this. And I don't know why. I mean, it would be nice she could come over to my house and hang out and maybe paint with me. But her boyfriend might not allow that, and she might want to sneak out. And it just becomes messy..
I just want to be a good guy about this. I don't want to hurt anyone. | Trying to be friends with a girl who already has a boyfriend and I feel funky and don't know if I'm doing something bad |
t3_3y5uy8 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my ex [20 F], who I dated for 7 years, broke up with me 2 months and I'm struggling. | My partner dumped me close to 2 months ago because she 'wasn't sure about us' anymore. We resolved to remain friends but have subsequently gone no contact. It wasn't entirely unexpected, she had been distant for a month prior and I think she was just waiting for our exams to be over.
I never expected to get over her quickly but so far everything has been a lot harder than I expected. I feel worse now than I did initially. It's Christmas today and I can't feel happy. I started crying at lunch with my family. I constantly find myself thinking about her and what we had. Anytime I do anything that is remotely enjoyable my mind just reverts back to thinking about her.
We were each others best friends for so long I'm feeling abandoned now that she's gone. The fact that neither of us screwed the relationship up and that she made a conscious choice to leave me hurts the most I think. If you looked at her FB profile now it would seem like I never existed and that we didn't share our lives for the last 7 years.
I found myself stalking her on social media and have no unfollowed her on FB, deleted her texts and her number. I really want to start feeling like I'm moving on from this relationship but I can't. I know I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me but my rational thoughts are having no effect on my emotions. | My GF of 7 years broke up with me. I can't move on despite wanting to. I need help/advice on moving on. How long can I expect to feel like this? |
t3_zn4p5 | AskReddit | I met an attractive girl at a party, hooked up with her, and got her number, but I was blackout drunk, and barely remember anything past 9pm. What do I say now? | Sad facts:
-As far as I can remember, she was sober.
-I was drunk.
-It took me at least fifteen minutes to remember her name the next morning.
-She goes to a big University in my city, while I go to a small college and was just there to party.
-I was REALLY drunk.
Pretty much, I can't comprehend how I got a (what I remember as) hot girl's number in that state, let alone a SOBER hot girl's number. For some background, I 'get' an acceptable amount of ladies (I have a healthy sex life for a first year Uni. student), I'm not desparate, but I seem to think she was smart/fun, which for me is -in combination with good looks- the most attractive trait of a woman. She texted me hello right after I gave her my number, and I decided it was best not to reply in that state. I have definitely taken a number and never texted it before, but I feel I have to. Now, I am putting my faith in Reddit, all of which I know are professionals in this field. (Source: I have been lurking. Thanks to Reddit, I know now that everyone on the internet is a professional, and that they are always telling the truth.) | I'm not a loser, but I feel like I should text this lady, despite the fact I was blackout drunk. What do I say? |
t3_3vcupm | relationships | I [24F] think I'm going to end my relationship of 7 years with my boyfriend [29M] who I love and feel comfortable with. | I love him and can imagine having a family with him and getting old with him.
The reasons I think I am going to end our relationship are the following:
* The sex isn't good. It doesn't do it for me (we've tried everything). I'm not sexually turned on by him.
* We've only had sex with each other.
* I resent the way he doesn't clean up after himself and every time I ask him to clean up after himself he sighs and acts like I'm being super annoying.
* Every now and then I've thought "what would happen if we were to break up? Would I get my friends to help me pack my stuff? I would have to remember not to forget my books that are in the garage. Would it be really awkward and hard? Would I cry for months? What would I write on my Tinder profile? Would I start having sex with a lot of people?" and just the fact that I have these thoughts every now and then makes me think I'm trying to tell myself something.
* I feel like he deserves better. I'm not putting myself down, I just think I'm not the best person for him. There must be a girl out there that is turned on by his body, cares deeply about all his 'downs' (instead of just mainly the 'ups'), isn't bothered by week old plates or candy wrappers, and is willing to drop everything if she thinks he needs her.
I'm scared but neither of us is getting younger, so wouldn't I be doing both of us a favor by ending it now? | scared but think that the best thing to do for both of us is to break off our relationship. |
t3_32uwz0 | relationships | I[22 M] need some help and advice regarding my 4 year long relationship with my ex [22F] . | A little background story . I was in a relationship with my ex for about 4 and a half years and its been about a year since we broke up . We used to go to the same college and are in the same class . We've had a break from college for about a year and we did finally call it quits when we had to take the break . (this was August 2014)
While we were dating I never did prove to be what you'd call a good boyfriend. So our relationship was pretty on-off . So in the month of December 2014 she started talking to her ex again and I didn't like that much . I told her she should try and not meet him in private but I wasn't very firm about it since i did trust her alot and i knew she'd never do something that would disappoint me . Well , that cost me . She did cheat on me with her ex twice while we were dating and now she's currently dating that guy .
The main problem here is that i don't really feel like its all her fault . Part of the reason she did cheat was probably because i didn't live up to her expectation of a good boyfriend.
After this saga with her , I've had some serious trust issue with other people . I can safely say I didn't trust anyone more than her and now i cant trust anyone at all . Its eating me inside for really long and I really don't have to many close friends who i can share any of this with ..
I really would love for anyone who has felt the same to give me some advice . College starts again in July and i dont know what having to see her face daily will do to me.. Need some help ..Thanks in advance . | EX cheated on me 1 year ago with her ex . Destroyed my trust in people . Need help with the trust issue and some closure . (Will be studying with her for one more year starting July) |
t3_es5q2 | AskReddit | My computer is running rather hot. Anyone know a good way to solve this? | The problem I have is with my CPU. I have an Intel QX6700 Quad Core Processor running at 2.66GHz (it's not overclocked) and it tends to idle around 55-60 degrees C. At load it can hit 75 degrees but usually flattens out around 70. I know for a fact that this is hotter than it should be and I would like to solve this as quickly as possible. I have yet to re-seat the heat sink and apply another layer of arctic silver, but I plan to do so soon. Does anyone know what else might be causing this, and/or any ways to fix it?
Thanks in advance. | My CPU is running hot and I am looking for solutions. |
t3_3e0qwc | relationships | Fiance (27)m and I (26)f are fighting because of his addiction to Puzzles and Dragons | My fiancé and I have been together 2 and half years and have a 9 month old baby girl together. We are very financially strapped (our monthly grocery budget is 150-200), use Medicaid and Wic. My utmost concern is food, first, and saving for the future, second.
My fiancé has fallen on hard times and now works at McDonald's, is without a license (he never learned how to drive) and spends majority of his free time playing games. I didn't give it much thought because I feel he deserved an outlet every so often, with as much as he works.
He's a good dad, but I do majority of the baby related care. Anyway I checked our account today and found several iTunes purchases in increments of 30 dollars, at least once or twice a week, going back to March of this year. With a grand total of about 400 spent of this dumb iPhone game. This account is a joint checking, and the income is his, but our livelihood is at stake.
I haven't spent a dime on myself in months, I'm constantly stressed over money related issues and now this. It would be one thing if we weren't struggling financially but even then, 400 on an iPhone game is excessive. Should I leave him? He has a history of lying. | Fiance spent 100's of dollars On iPhone game while financially unstable, what should I do? |
t3_16sqw7 | relationships | I'm [17M] with a [16F]. In a 21 month long relationship. Need help with breaking up | I've been dating this girl for about 1 year and 9 months. For about a year now i've been thinking about breaking up. And I've never pulled the trigger completely.
I broke up with her once, but then she started crying, being a sensitive guy, it tore me up to see it and we got back together. Ever since then I wish I would've stuck with my decision. It's been about 7 months since then, and its been bugging me.
I don't know how to pull the trigger.. I still do love her very much, we were each others first for sex. And this is the first long relationship for the both of us. but we have some key differences between us. And I know that I don't want to put a ring on her in the future. And I'm afraid if we stay together, she could get pregnant, and that's the last thing I want. I want to end it so that I can be single while in high school.. | I need advice on ending it.. I know I'm still young, and its just high school.. But I really don't know how to do it. :/ |
t3_32qm54 | tifu | TIFU by procrastinating on my coursework for the last 7 months | Going to keep certain detail vague because I'm pretty sure my supervisor reddits.
I'm a student in the UK completing my last year in sixth form. I'm doing an EPQ in sociology (an epq is kind of like a mini dissertation; mine is a 6000 word report, although it can be other things too).
As the title says I have been doing the bare minimum (aka practically nothing) for the past 7 months. I can't/don't want to handle stress so I just didn't do my work. *"Oh I'll do it later, it'll be fine I'll switch them out, he wont even notice".*
Noope.
I never got round to doing, well anything. Obviously I had to show my supervisor ~something~ so I falsified all my research. I made up interviews and made fake graph results all whilst promising myself I'll get round to it. Well I didn't and everything is due in in less than 12 hours and I'm fucking screwed. I've only written 1000 words.
Oh yeah, and my computer wont let me open word documents so there goes any misguided hopes of finishing in time. | too lazy to do my work on time, now I have to conjure 5000 words of detailed analysis out of my ass. |
t3_1d7cb0 | tifu | TIFU by getting to high and ignoring the face that I had to pee. | My best friend is home for the first time in four months (she lives two hours away) so we decided to get super high. I get the sensation that I have to pee. I ignore it both because I am ridiculously high and my friend is telling a story....finally I get up to go to the bathroom, walk up the stairs and it happens....The flood gates open and the golden river flows...FUCK! Fast forward a few minutes and I am in the bathroom wondering how I am going to change clothes without my husband or best friend wondering what the fuck I am doing. Thankfully my husband had a pair of pajama pants laying on the sink in the bathroom. I put those on and casually walk back to the basement hoping again, they won't notice....But they did and now they won't stop laughing.... Oh well lol. | got high and ignored the fact had to pee and pissed myself; tried to cover it up but they figured it out. |
t3_2eib9p | relationships | I [16m] am having huge arguments with my SO[17f] of 7 months on a regular basis recently | Now, I know this is usually a place where couples break up. Though, I need some advice on how to fix our communication issues. Here's a little background on myself: I am an extremely introverted male who prides himself in my studies and music. I hate groups and I just get tired of people and want to be isolated. She, on the other hand is an extrovert and is focusing on her health academy studies and loves talking to people.
Here's our problem:
We get into fights about things and it's usually me who gets offended and then I feel like a huge, abusive dick when I yell (I may have anger issues). Just tonight, we got into an argument over a small thing about her not telling me something important. I don't want to be a dick. I don't want to feel abusive or be abusive. I don't want this relationship to end. | SO and I get into lots of minor arguments. Don't know what to do |
t3_o5j30 | loseit | We're changing our lives 90 days at a time. Round 6 of 90daysgoal starts Monday! | A little over a year ago, a group of Redditors decided to change their lives at r/90daysgoal. We have just wrapped up Round 5, with 84 people checking in with their weight loss. Together, we have shaved off a combined 1093 lbs (496 kg), or 13.0 lbs (5.9 kg) per person over the last three months. For those of you who love graphs, here's [our individual percent change in weight] and [our final weights plotted with weight lost over the course of the round](
With five successful rounds under our smaller belts, we're excited to start Round 6 and we're hoping others will join in.
**What it is and what it isn't**
This isn't a set diet or exercise routine. This isn't a competition with prizes. This is a group of people working together to better themselves. Whether you want to change a lot or a little, gain muscle or lose weight, everyone is welcome. More than anything else, this group will provide you with a place to talk to other people about health and fitness in a completely open and friendly environment. No question is too basic here.
**What's the format?**
First step, [fill out this form to sign up for Round 6] All information is kept private. The information is used to provide group statistics. Individual progress is released at the middle and end of the round using a display name of your choosing.
Second step, subscribe to [r/90daysgoal] and start participating. Introduce yourself in the [Round 6 intro thread] Ask any questions you might have or answer any questions that you're knowledgeable about. Post your goals or read through other people's routines in the [dailygoal threads] | If you're interested, [sign up] and subscribe to [r/90daysgoal] Day 1 is January 9th. There will be informational posts throughout the first couple weeks to get everyone started toward their goals. Day 90 will be April 7th. I hope we'll all have something to celebrate in three months! |
t3_1aicpm | AskReddit | What is something that you've done to make someone proud, but still ended up a disappointment to them? | Granted I'm still very proud of myself and that's what matters but, I've been working really hard in college. I'm graduating on time, with 2 degrees (Entomology and Chemistry), and with distinction. I'm going to grad school for a masters in Entomology then further to a PhD. I told my grandma about this and she told me that I'm going amount to nothing...she wants me to be a medical doctor even though I told her how happy I am in Entomology. I want to make her proud but she is still disappointed in me. Has anyone else had a similar experience? | I'm working my ass of in college and my despite my happiness and success in my degree, my grandma is still disappointed because I'm not becoming a doctor. Similar stories anyone? |
t3_1lftw1 | relationships | Me[25/F] with my boyfriend [23/m] a year and a half, moved in together and hard time adjusting | I moved in with my boyfriend a year after dating him. The first year was awesome, very easy and few issues. The first month of living together was smooth but the last two months (moved in together in June) have been really, really hard. I'm concerned my stress is killing us. I have a new job that started in July that is stressful and am dealing with some family stress, my brother has a heroine addiction has been in and out of the hospital for relapses. I've had to be involved in some hospital visits but have made the decision to be less involved and "detach" for my own sanity. My family, as a result, isn't a stable support system. I have a lot of great friends that are supportive and try to keep positive people in my life best I can. I've taken a lot of stress home with me and felt insecure due to the lack of stability and unfortunately have taken some of this out on my boyfriend. I am never mean to him but have started a lot of arguments that I probably would have let go if I wasn't stressed. He tends to need his space when he is stressed while I crave extra support. Mostly we've had tiffs about stupid issues but have noticed he wants more space than usual. I just started therapy to address my family issues and am working hard to give him his space and respect it.
Some of the arguments I think have been normal moving in together arguments, but they seem to happen frequently (never yelling or anything awful) because of all the stress I am carrying. I am optimistic about the relationship but fear I have damaged it. I haven't violated his trust but have been clingy (which really isn't me in a normal state) and overwhelmed. I take effort to do things I enjoy that are fun and away from home. How much of an adjustment should moving in together be? I do love him, want him to have the space he needs, but also feel like this has been extremely hard and I am worried about the health of our relationship. | Having a hard time adjusting to living together, lots of stupid little arguments mostly due to outside stress. Worried I have done damage to a good relationship. |
t3_3ihc40 | relationships | Moving out but staying together? | I have a friend (27f) who rushed into moving in with her boyfriend (25m) of 13 months after only two months. They live in a house together and she loves him very much, but hasn't lived on her own before (neither has he) and feels like she needs that space to grow as a person for a while because she isn't content with herself. She doesn't want to hurt him nor does she want to break up. She just wants space. Would this work? She's brought it up to him before and he gets upset and doesn't understand. Thanks much! | friend wants to live alone but stay together. Can this work? |
t3_2en9os | relationships | Fiance [30M] refuses to LET me [28F] sign a prenuptial agreement (4 years) | Don't really know what I'm looking to get out of this. I guess I just need a place to organize my thoughts. My fiance has been a hard worker his entire life and his hard work paid off in a big way financially last year. We both agreed that we did not want to change our lifestyle so all of the extra money is going into investments for our future. It's really easy to forget about it. That being said, forgetting about something doesn't make it disappear. I know my fiance's parents have never liked me very much and they were the first people to propose the idea of a prenup. I was a little upset about what I perceived their implications were but I had no problems with signing it. I *want* to sign it, not because they are asking, but because it's the reasonable thing to do. My fiance, on the other hand, is appalled by the idea. He dismissed the need because he thinks that signing it is equivalent to acknowledging that our relationship will fail and he tells me that is not a possibility. He's my sweetheart. I believe that he truly believes that kind sentiment but I know that it's not realistic. Shit happens. Sometimes things don't go as planned and that's what prenups are for.
I don't know. I've pleaded with him non-stop to sign it with me but he refuses. I'm considering calling off the wedding unless he signs it because I don't think it's fair for either of us to go into this marriage without one.
FTR: I have very little assets. I work for an organization that deals with orphaned and vulnerable children. While I love working there with all my heart, it does not pay very well.
Opinions on the situation? Thoughts regarding whether or not calling off a wedding because of a prenup is reasonable given these circumstances? | Fiance refuses to let me sign a prenup. I don't think that's fair to either of us. |
t3_4injoq | legaladvice | Exgirlfriend is threatening legal action against me and some of my friends for harassment. (NM) | Two weeks ago my ex gets a text message from a number which she immediately blocked. She also deleted that message. I'm not exact about the contents of the message but it elicited an emotional response against me. It should be noted that she suffers from anxiety. More recently, she's gotten a few calls from a "No Caller Id" where a woman's voice quickly repeats a similar message. We're on relatively ok terms and we've talked about it a bit. She believes it's some friends of mine, and through association, me. (the number was a Washington state number one of those friends has a Washington state number). I suspect it could be one friend going through someone else, but these are all suspicions, nothing solid. It's affected her wellbeing enough that she wants to press legal action against us (myself and two friends).
What's happening certainly classifies as harassment, but without the number of the original text message it doesn't point to anyone. | Ex is getting harassed, she blames two friends of mine and me by association. Wants to press some legal action. Harassing calls are from "No Caller Id" and a harassing text message was deleted. |
t3_37gok5 | tifu | TIFU by being labeled a pedophile by my teacher | First of all, I am writing this post in honour of my buddy, as it was his fuck up (it wouldn't have been a real fuck up if I hadn't called my teacher though). Lets call him "Bob". We are currently in the same class (10th grade). It all started when we had humanities. We had to do a research essay on the Vietnam War. I was sitting next to Bob, doing some research. So was Bob. I raised my hand to ask my teacher a question, he came over to where I was sitting. I was asking my question and was getting an answer, while Bob was minding his own business. He was reading a PDF online about the Vietnam War.
A well known picture came up of a small girl, who is completely naked, running away from her village that just suffered a napalm bomb strike. Bob decides to zoom in on a part of text under the picture (because it was in a small font). However, his computer decided to zoom in somewhere else...you guessed it, right in-between the little girls legs. And if you think this was the fuck up, it gets even better. His computer decides to freeze completely, with our teacher right next to us. His whole screen is literally filled with crotch, and as you can probably imagine, our teacher's expression was priceless. Bob is frantically moving his mouse, trying to unfreeze his laptop. Painfully long seconds passed, until finally what seemed like an eternity, his laptop decided to unfreeze, with my teacher giving him the death-stare and the "WTF are you doing" stare at the same time.
Poor Bob turned completely red while I was sitting next to him laughing my ass off... It wouldn't even surprise me if this FU influenced his essay's grade. | My friend zoomed in at the wrong place at the wrong time. Our teacher wasn't pleased... |
t3_2grjhe | relationships | Am I [21 F] just overreacting with my girlfriend [23 F] of 6 months? | So about a week ago I went on a date with my girlfriend. We had a lot of fun and I ended up getting too comfortable and was in her personal boundaries (she doesn't like to be touched). I apologized to her and told her it wouldn't happen again, and we kept chatting and shortly parted (she had to leave for a train). A few days later she sends me a funny picture asking for my opinion, which I took as a sign that we were alright now. I sent her a couple pictures a couple days after which she looked at, and after I asked her if she'd like to meet up if she was free the following day. She said she was available later that following day because she was working, but didn't respond to my text about what time. On the tentative day of the meetup I texted her in the late afternoon that if she was busy we could meetup on the weekend instead. She hasn't responded (it was the late afternoon then and now it's early morning).
She's usually pretty forgetful and tells me to remind her if there's an upcoming date and whatnot, but I feel horrible thinking that the reason she didn't respond is because she doesn't want to see me after what I've done. I miss her so much and keep thinking that if I could forgive her for a no-show on a date (her alarm couldn't wake her up) and being late sometimes, that she could forgive me too. Could someone please provide a second opinion? I'm torn up about this. | Girlfriend doesn't reply and I'm freaking out - but it all might be in my head. Help! |
t3_300158 | tifu | TIFU by hearing my mother | So, it was a cloudy Sunday when this fu begins, just yesterday I was talking with my mother during lunch.
I'm at my natural city, about three hours from my house near college passing the weekend with my family. Today, Monday, I have an important appointment in a new college related business which I can't lost.
So I'm telling her that I will go back to college for safety and she proceeds to convince me to stay till next morning so I don't have to walk around bad areas of the city, which are the only way to my house, at night. It seams reasonable and I agreed.
So I wake up and go to the bus stop only to discover that the beautiful weather had just dropped a entire hill on the road and I have noway to go back and will lose a great opportunity. Now I am wondering what I'm going to do. | Thanks mom. |
t3_1tvann | relationships | Me [15 M] with my GF [15 F] of one month, relationship pace | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a bit longer than a month now. This is the first romantic relationship for either of us. I could tell that she didn't want to take things very fast, so we didn't.
Yesterday I kissed her on the cheek after we had gone on a walk. Later, by text, she told me that it was appreciated, but we should "cool the jets." I am fine staying at hand holding, but it seems very slow to me.
I have no relationship experience, so I'm just trying to gauge the normality of our pace. I am comfortable where we are, it just seems like an awkward transitional stage to linger in. | first relationship, her "slow" is a slug swimming in molasses (I think, that's why I'm asking) |
t3_j4z4a | AskReddit | Reddit, I have just graduated and secured a job in a corporate world. Need advice to avoid living like a robot. | Hi Reddit,
I am 22 years old and have just graduated from a university. I will start working this September and somehow I am quite nervous entering this new chapter in my life.
I like living like a student, where you get to live pretty much the way you want it (at least, not like a working drone, being watched by a boss 9-5 every weekday).
The aspect of working and spending most of the time in front of a computer scare me a little bit. I mean, will the novelty run out quickly? What do I do if I am bored? I can't just quit right.
Being a student is fun and you have quite a clear objective and know where to 'run' to. Now, after graduating I feel aimless. Sure, working and climbing up the corporate ladder can be considered as objectives, but I kept thinking "what's the point?"
I want to live a happy, care-free life, but I know reality isn't like that sometimes. Everyone has got to pay their due, but I don't want to see it as a chore.
I guess what I am looking for is: any advice for a new graduate like me, who's new to this new working life chapter? | Advice for a newly graduated student entering a working world. |
t3_4jd46v | legaladvice | [auto accident] Never been in an accident, but got in a minor car accident & screwed up getting information | CA, State farm.
I was backing out of my driveway at 5mph and hit a moving car (maybe 30mph) going along the street. My car has a big scrape along the back bumper with a circular part (guessing the spot for towing?) missing and hers is the typical scrape-in/deformation for the side doors.
She was in a rush (just had a stroke and couldn't think well) and I was in an emotional rush from the accident and late to work. She asked for name, cell #, and insurance info. I gave her that and wrote them on a paper for her since she couldn't write well or something from getting out of the hospital from just having a stroke.
I asked for name and cell # and she said she couldn't find her insurance currently so she would give it when she would get her insurance to call my insurance.
Upon leaving, I realized I fked up majorly both on not looking more carefully and on not getting more information. What else should I have done?
Here's my current reflections:
Neither party got Drivers license information (I could have faked the info I put down if i wanted but I would never do that.)
Neither party took pictures (wow I'm feeling stupid)
Neither party filed a police report due to forgetfullness or rush (unaware of repercussions of this -- I'm assuming it's illegal and we may get in trouble?)
I failed to get her insurance info (not sure what I should have done if she claimed she couldn't find it currently )
Please feel free to add and correct any of my mistakes above ^
Lastly, what do I do now? Do i play the waiting game? What should I be expecting the next moves to be? I'm going to set off a few thousand in cash to be ready to pay for some damages that insurance always seems to not be able to cover. All I know is a deductible is something I have to pay and hopefully the insurance pays the rest, and then my insurance prices shoot up for me getting in an accident :(.
This is my first accident so I want to learn from this and follow procedure properly in the future. | backed out of driveway, hit a moving car, some damage on my bumper, some damage / indentation on her side doors. WE fail to get each others information immensely. Now i dont know what to do. |
t3_2n5d23 | relationships | Me [21 M] with the girl I've been dating shortly [19 F] just told me I'm a bad kisser | So I've been really into this girl for a little over a year now and we recently started dating. We've now kissed a couple of times and just after this last time she told me it was terrible. Fortunately, she explained that she really likes me and wanted to "teach" me how to be better.
The bad part is, while it helps to know that she is being honest and trying to help, it has shaken me up confidence wise. Now i'm sort of worried that if things progress beyond kissing I might disappoint her there as well.
I have had a couple other girlfriends, but none of them had ever mentioned this before. And though they have led me to believe that I am pretty good in bed, I still can't feel like this confidence is now shakey. I'm trying to stay positive but I don't know how to feel. | Girl told me i'm a bad kisser, wants to work on it, but my confidence is now shaken |
t3_1g4kxl | relationships | My [27m] GF [26] expresses worry over her being my first and only - how to tackle? | I [27m] have been seeing my first and only girlfriend [26] for a good year now. We've been getting along just fine, with our own share of minor arguments along the way that have been taken care of and not buried in some deep dark corner.
Now, the topic of marriage has popped up, and there's one thing that she has expressed concern over, and it's the fact that I have never dated seriously before I met her. On her end, she has had 4 other relationships, with me being her fifth boyfriend. She has gone as far as saying that if I decided to break up with her because I wanted to see other girls, she wouldn't hold that against me.
In response, I've told her, and even felt that because we click so well and have so many things we share in common, I could not possibly think of breaking up with her, and that it would take a lot for me to let her go. To be honest, if I had the financial means right now, I would go out, buy a ring and immediately propose to her. That's how much I love her. I can picture being with her for the rest of my life - a sentiment she has echoed.
That leads to this question: am I really missing out because I haven't had other relationships? I've heard that the point of dating is to get to know what one's preferences, expectations and dislikes are, and to tweak it until one finds his or her match. On top of that, I also heard it's almost never a good idea to marry your first love. So, what gives? | Marriage has popped up between GF and me. GF is worried I may regret marrying her because I haven't had other dating experiences. I personally don't mind, though conventions seem to indicate I should. Should I mind? |
t3_afgqg | AskReddit | Inherent advantage (game theory) behind corporate lobbying? | I was just reading a reddit article on lobbying while studying for a microeconomics exam when I realized that in general lobbying anywhere in the world vaguely similar to a simultaneous game in game theory (there are sequential elements).
In such a game the payoff to any player (the donators) is the increase in income (capital gains, profit etc) from a new law (p_j for person j). However, the donations for each person is unique (call d_j cost for person j) The issue here is that any one person will try and maximize his or her returns while minimizing donations.
Does this imply that in such a game, there will be a nash equilibrium at low levels of donations? And that the natural state of any lobbying is that people choose their best strategy (donating minimum for minimum returns?)
If so, then doesn't corporate lobbying remove the burden of choice of how much to spend from players? This inturn would imply that the corporate heads of the firm can force a nash equilibrium with higher expenditures and returns (something similar to collaboration in repeated simultaneous move games)
If anyone here is an expert in game theory; can you perhaps give a better model than the one i have suggested? I am sure they exist somewhere. They probably model it as a sequential game though. | Corporations can force a certain 'donation' from shareholders/ employees to maximize returns to the corporation, thereby improving their returns as compared to another lobbying firm which depends on voluntary donations everytime. Does this seem like a good basis of a game theory analysis of the situation? |
t3_1we08x | relationships | Me [26 M] with my ex GF [21 F]. it's been half a year and I've cut off all communication from her but seems like she's trying to contact me. What do I do? | Me and my ex gf of 3 years broke up half a year ago and I've been on a mission of self-healing and improvement. We broke up in good terms and with a bit of communication but I found that I couldn't completely move on.
At one point I already knew she liked a certain person and had a gut feeling that it was going to be a long distance relationship. Some time ago, she contacted me and said she wanted to talk. All she wanted to talk about was her problems, all about her. I felt like she was just using me as a temporary bf since the guy she liked wasn't there and it was makig my heart ache. So I decided to cut off all ties.
A few weeks ago I changed my number. Turns out she was still trying to reach me. My brother told me that she asked him why I was unreachable. He just shrugged it off and told her that he doesn't know (he knows the situation between us).
Sometimes late at night I get a phone call but the person on the other line won't talk, and I suspect that it's her. She's a night person like me and we'd usually talk at around that hour.
I can't understand what she wants from me. She now has a new BF (that guy I mentioned), and I really am uncomfortable with communicating with her. What else does she want from me?
What do I do? Should I keep ignoring her calls or wait for her to contact me again so I can tell her to stop calling me? | Ex keeps trying to contact me and I'm confused to what course of action to take. Should I tell her off or keep ignoring her? |
t3_2m5hyl | tifu | TIFU by leaving my apple TV open | This actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but I'm sure you don't give a shit.
My brother and his wife wanted to be alone for a couple of days so I told him I'd watch my nephew for him. I will probably never have kids so I treat him like my own, he's my best bro. He is 5 and I let him pick what we watch, so he knows how to work my apple TV pretty well.
Well recently, I started to watch Attack on Titan (not an anime fan, just like that particular show) while my he was sleeping. I had a rough day at work so I decided to hit the rack. I thought I exited all the way out but apparently it was still in my TV shows.
Nephew got up, saw my TV shows open, clicked the first episode and began watching. I woke up to him in chair already into some big scene where titans are eating people, crying. Not tearing up, but full on waterworks. He kept screaming and screaming that a titan was going to get him. I finally got him calmed down and put into bed again. I text my brother what happened and he thought it was funny.
Fast forward to yesterday, Nephew has been having nightmares but it has been managable. My brother text me this today (cant get the damn thing to add the picture, ill just copy and paste it)
"Listen up, Douchecanoe, I took Caleb to the mall today and at that fucking anime stand there is a large cutout of a titan. Caleb saw it started screaming and running away and I eventually had to pick him up and rush out the store looking like I was kidnapping him. Luckily for me, the cops eating their fucking Sbarro thought I was kidnapping him and detained me until Sherlock Holmes Dr Watson and the fucking CSI team determined I was his Dad. I am going to kick your fucking ass. All of this in front of hundreds if not thousands of people" | Accidentally left Netflix up, 5 year old Nephew started watching attack on titan which lead to nighmares and an embarassing incident in the mall. |
t3_30n12p | relationships | Moved away for a job, A Friend [20/F] and I[24/M] had gotten very close, was hoping to date her when I got back, she moved on to someone else, should I still be friends with her. | *First off if you say I should of stepped up sooner my answer is I know. The reason I didn't is because I didn't know how long I would be away for or If I should pursue a long distance relationship.
OK reddit here is the deal. I knew this girl for I would say a year- two years. We had gotten very close since about November. I moved 12 hours away to take a job, but me and this girl remained close. During this time we started exchanging dirty snapchats, not sure if thats relevant but its a detail. I returned home recently for a visit, I didn't get a chance to see her because I was limited by a car and she was preparing for a conference. When I got back to where I live we were talking about things. I had mentioned that I really liked her before she went on the plane to return to where she lived. She seemed really happy that I said that. I talked to her yesterday and she said she met someone at her conference and she is talking to them now, and she wants to play it by ear.
So I have been sitting around wondering If I still want to maintain a friendship with her or If I want to excommunicate her from my life. I do care for her but at the same time it hurts seeing her on social media or even thinking about it. What do you guys think I should do?
*The Shitty part about all of this is she was one of the main reasons I was looking at jobs back home, something that was made clear. | Had to move away for a a job offer, hoped to start dating a girl when I came back, she goes to a conference, meets someone, and now wants to "play it by ear" |
t3_2f1ajh | tifu | TIFU by saying a German Exchange Student looked like a Holocaust survivor. | Okay, so this actually happened last night, not today. Anyway, my brother is on our High School Varsity Football team and I had to go to one of his away games since our Grandparents were going. Well I'm watching the game and our band shows up, and since I know a few of them, I decided to ditch my family and talk to my band friends. Well fast forward three quarters and I'm pretty thirsty, so me and my friend (let's call him S) and his friend (let's call him L) walk down to the concession stand. It's a long line, so me and L start talking and he says he wants to show me something, and he then proceeds to pull out his wallet and show me a joke fake ID, [which looked something like this] except L's had a little girl and said his full name. Now, being the awkwardly funny guy that I am, a joked popped into my head, a brilliant, hilarious joke, and I plopped it on him. "You look like a holocaust survivor!" A few people around him laughed, but he didn't, instead his face got red and he looked embarrassed and stopped talking. Even S was looking at me funny, and neither of them would talk to me. I got my water and we all went and sat down, except I couldn't sit next to the band since they were about to perform, so I sat next to my family. After the game ended I walked over to S and asked him why him and L were acting weird, and he replied with, "L is from Germany, and you made a Holocaust joke!" If you can think of the red that the Red Power Ranger wore, that was what color my face was. I think I apologized at least 70 times, L just laughed and said it was cool, I still feel bad, though. | I tried to make a funny but accidentally called a German exchange student a survivor of one of the worst things to happen in his country's past |
t3_1xqpes | relationships | Me [27 F] with my bf [34 M] together 1.5 years, recent breakup - how normal is regret and confusion and second guessing after ending it??? | well how normal is it? Nothing has 'changed' per se since it ended. I left because I felt like I needed to be by myself, grow by myself (didnt feel like I had space for that within the relationship...maybe I could have worked harder at creating this space). We were as intellectually incompatible as any two people could possibly be. Otherwise it was pretty good. We are still in text and email contact, initiated by him. At the time of the breakup, when I brought up that I wanted to talk he said he did too, and then steered the breakup towards being a mutual one, saying he needed to work on himself too. Not sure what to think. I'm mostly just wondering if this feeling of "WTF have I done??? Did I just lose the love of my life!' is a valid one. I was very emotionally distant and felt 'frozen' for a few weeks before it happened, felt relieved after it was over, then had feelings of missing him and sadness (seemed normal), and now am not just sad but suffering under the weight of second guessing and regret and just feeling terrible (this last does not feel normal). I'm still trying to find a new place to live (currently living with friends), so maybe that's making me feel even worse.
It's been two weeks since it ended. | how normal is post breakup regret? |
t3_4n140r | running | Too early to try a half-marathon? | I everyone, I have the option to run a race tomorrow at my university. The options are 7.5km, 15km or half-marathon. I would really like to do the half-marathon but I wonder weather I can safely do it (without a higher risk of injury).
I run casually since maybe a year but rather recreational. The longest run I've done was around 10 km but I still felt good after it.(took me around 1 hour). Other than that I run around the neighborhood (~ 7km) a couple of times a week at around the same pace (10 km/h or 9:39 minute/mile pace for you Americans).
Do you think I could safely do it? I would really like to do and think I can pull it off. Otherwise my best option are the 14.1km right? Thanks a lot for helping me out here. | Can I do a half-marathon if I've never ran more than 10k but feel like I could pull it off, without injuring myself? |
t3_3ihdka | relationships | I [17F] am having family troubles accepting my boyfriend [18M] | I have had a rough start (very on and off) with my boyfriend since I was 11. We have basically been together for 6 years (some trip ups here and there) and despite many problems we had, we are very strong together.
When I was about 14, our parents confronted which resulted in his parents telling my family off that I was disrupting his education and we could no longer be together. It was very messed up, his father would tell my parents to discipline him because he wouldn't listen to his own parents.
We had many discussions about whether we wanted to be together but we stuck with it anyway. His father had said some things to my mother that made her retract instantly and cut off all communication.
Fast forward about 3 years and my boyfriend has finished high school. His parents have noticed that we are serious about each other as we managed to stick with each other so they have accepted the fact that I'm going to be sticking around. However, upon mentioning him to my mother, she said that "it's great that he is a great friend to you, but he will never be your boyfriend" which obviously was a shock to me because of how long I have been together with him (she wasn't aware). I have been building up his image to my mother and he is genuinely a great boyfriend.
My mother is worried that I'm going to get hurt, but I really do love my boyfriend and we want to be together. The problem is that his parents and family finally accept me, but my mother cannot because of what happened. I'm afraid of telling her and feel certain that she's set on not allowing me to be with him because of HIS father, not him.
Any personal experiences, advice or help would be greatly appreciated. | Long term relationship with my boyfriend, unfortunate first confrontation between our parents not allowing us to be together but we stuck with it - his family finally accepts me but mine does not. |
t3_1atdok | AskReddit | Baby bunnies stuck in a hole, how can I get them out?? | Hey Reddit!
A coworker of mine saved two new born baby bunnies after a hawk took their mother away. She put them in a hole under some concrete so she could take them home to feed them but they have buried their way back there. Sometimes they come to the front but then get scared back in. This happened yesterday and my coworker has called off sick today.
If I leave the bunnies there then they will more than likely not survive, and I do not want that to happen.
I am going to buy some gloves in icase I handle them, I don't want to be bitten.
My question is: How can I coerce them out of this hole?
( | ) Bunnies stuck, how do I get them out? |
t3_16ttp2 | relationships | I[m28] am going to break up with GF[f24], not sure if I should tell her why. | Throwaway because I am going to break up with my girlfriend tonight and she has a reddit. We have been together for 3 years total. We broke up for a 4 month stretch because I was unsure of the future of our relationship, but have been back together for about 6 months. I love her a lot, so I want to hurt her as little as possible, so I am unsure if I should give her the reason I am breaking up with her.
Why I am breaking up is as follows. She decided that she wanted to wait until she got married to have sex again, but he have been previously intimate. I don't really have an issue with that because I believe that sex is important and should only be shared by two people who love each other. I have had two partner before her and both were long term relationships. She however has a much more extensive past. She wouldn't disclose her number of past partners, besides saying she regrets it and it doesn't matter. I really don't know any specifics but I do know her friends that she hung out with and so I can put together an educated guess.
It always kind of bothered me, but she had changed her ways so I got over it. That was until she decided that we weren't going to have sex again unless I married her. I feel like if she was like that with other guys then why should I wait for her. So I am going to break up with her and she is going to want to know why. My question is should I tell her the real reason or not? I don't mind looking like an asshole, but would like to spare her feelings as much as possible. | going to break up with gf who I still love, but not sure if I should tell her the real reason or not. |
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