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t3_4f3g11 | relationships | Me [33 M] with my ex wife [32 F] 9 years, she's willing to give me a second chance how do I be better this time. | So, hi first time posting here.
Me and my wife had been together for 9 years before we divorced it was mostly due to me. We have 3 kids I worked full time and, she was a SAHM so we were both busy as hell.
I felt lonely so instead of talking it out with my wife like a mature person I ended up having an affair. It was the worst decision of my life and I still regret it.
My affair lasted 2 weeks but I confessed everything to her she cried I cried we divorced. That was a year ago we're on speaking terms for the kids and, actually get along.
I've tried getting her back during this time but she was hesitant, which I don't blame her. I took her to dinner 2 weeks ago and, we had a long talk and she said she'd give me another chance but if I screw up that's it.
I want to be better this time I don't want to lose her again so how can I be better. | my (ex) wife is willing to give me a second chance how can I be better this time. |
t3_3cwj2f | relationships | 21 (m) needs advice about ldr with girlfriend (20) | (sorry in advance, caps button is crap so im not going to bother putting myself through the ordeal)
my girlfriend has been abroad now for 6 weeks so ive gone over to see her. a few weeks a go i called her late at night but she couldnt chat cause she was chatting to a male friend (r) she had made so said she would speak to me tomorrow.
a few days ago we walked past r but she didnt introduce me to him like she had with everybody else which i thought was odd. also, last night she didnt seem to interested in chatting to me. this morning i logged into (what i thought was) my facebook and clicked on my messages to see she had been messaging him last night while with me. i'm not sure what these said im not the sort of person to breach privacy like that.
i was gonna ask what to do when she got back from work but ive seen her since and just flat out asked her if she had feelings for r. she said she had a soft spot for r and ordinarily she would distance herself from him but due to accomodation thats difficult to do. she said she wouldnt ever act on this soft spot and that she still feels the same way she always has about me and wants to be with me.
i'm going home in a few days and wont see her for 5 weeks. | ldr with girlfriend potentially bothered by a guy she has a 'soft spot' for. |
t3_nfgkh | AskReddit | I have no training in programming or software design but I have an idea for an application. What steps can I take to make my vision a reality? | I'm making this ask
1. Because I have an idea myself
2. Because I think there are a lot of other people in my position as well.
I have an idea for a piece of educational software that I would like to make a reality. I have no experience programming code, working with Java, C++, or whatever, it's all foreign to me. I'm not "computer illiterate" though, as some people describe themselves. I've been around computers all my life and recognize what makes a good piece of software as far as user interface, accessibility, and compatibility are concerned. I have drafts of the idea including images I drew up of how I want things to look, work, and run together. My idea cannot be fully realized though as I'm just not able to do anything with all these ideas myself. I'm a media and communications student and have no idea where to go from here in regards to putting my ideas into practice. I really think my application could help a lot of students though, and am committed to making this idea come to fruition. I'm not looking for handouts, or help with my concept. I'm putting this ask up here to draw from the collective power of the Reddit community. I know there are people on here from all types of disciplines, from programming to graphic design, and even people in app development. I'd appreciate any directions or options you could provide me in making these concepts become reality. I'm sure many others who have ideas for applications could benefit from this information as well. | I have an idea for an application and want to take it from concept to useable software; what should I do? |
t3_e2c8b | AskReddit | I passed out while walking to bed last night- three times. I'm 30 years old and reasonably healthy. What happened to me? | I know- lawyer up, hit the gym, go to the doctor... but, I thought I'd see what you guys thought about what happened to me.
Background: I had been doing lots of labor in the yard digging holes for hours and hauling bags of concrete in addition to my daily run and bike ride. I also managed to consume only about a glass of water for the day and not realize it.
Fast forward: I got up from my seat to go to bed around 12:45am- after smoking a bowl of tobacco in the hookah and drinking a few beers. The next thing I knew I was on the ground and my wife woke up yelling "what happened". I responded "I fell". I got up and blacked out again, hitting my head on the ground. My wife ran out and we were both freaked out. She helped me to the bedroom, but I fell one more time. I made it into bed and felt ok. I started drinking lots of water and I walked my wife through checking me for signs of concussion (there were none). I didn't hit my head too hard at any time. I was also totally "there" immediately following each spell.
Today: I feel ok, a little headache from hitting my chin and head I think. I'm weak and sore so I've been chilling for the most part drinking lots of fluids. I made an appointment to see a doctor on Tuesday, but as long as I have any reasoning power, I can't financially justify a trip to the ER.
Does anyone have any thoughts on what the hell happened to me? | I fainted three times last night, but I feel pretty good today. |
t3_uzp4z | relationships | I [17/F] don't know what's on his [17/M] mind? | We've known each other for over a year, we're talking to each other on IM Messenger every single day. I consider his best friend w/ benefit because we both don't care about relationship.
Though, the problem is there is a girl who is obsessive in him, but he's being cold-hearted against her, and it was a year, she is in relationship with him (he doesn't care if he's in relationship or not, he just says "okay" when she asked him to be in relationship everytime). They keep breaking up because of me, she's usually offended if she saw us hugging each other (which he wouldn't do with her) or acknowledging that we had sex. Their relationship is very messy, she cries and cries every night, she cuts herself, drinks to get too drunk to forget, etc and it was like that for a year. He shows no sympathy to her, he also offended and insulted her, calling her a whore and such. But he cares about me, he told me I'm the perfect girl, better than that girl by million time, really wants to live with me, and stuff like that. He never hurts me.
I'm not being forceful to him at all, I don't ask for sex or come over his house, he invites me himself and it only happened like 10 times for last year. It seems that she went over his house a lot more often than me, but it's probably because she's being forceful and demand him that she's coming over, etc. He also told me that he always make her cry every time she's over, like because of he yelling my name during sex, gets all offended when she said bad things about me, and stuff like that.
What's on his mind anyway? | He really likes me, never hurt me but he has sex with me more rarely and we see each other in real life more rarely than his girlfriend who is obsessive over him even when he's very mean to her. |
t3_3gle0p | relationships | I [27 M] have a huge crush on my new roommate [22 F] and we haven't even been living together a whole month yet. I'm not sure if I should let her know how I feel. | Basically, I met Suzy (fake name) through a craigslist ad. We met for coffee and talked about our current living situations and decided that we would make great roommates. I'm just getting out of a 3 year relationship / engagement (ex cheated on me and I called off the wedding) which is why I needed a new roommate.
I instantly found myself super attracted to Suzy. Personality wise she is quite opposite from my ex. She's very independent and more of a thinker than a feeler, which is just like me. I just find that we have a lot in common as far as tastes and interests go. So I recognize that there's a part of me that could be interested in her simply because she's not like me ex. But I also feel that I genuinely could be happy with her and I can't stop thinking about her. I think about her all day. I don't normally become infatuated or crush over girls which is why I'm seeking advice.
As far as I know, she's not in any type of serious relationship but she has been sleeping elsewhere several nights out the week so I know there could be another guy in her life, but she's never mentioned anything.
I feel like if nothing ever happened between us we'd make great roommates nonetheless. But I can't deny the part of myself that wants to explore a relationship with her. I just know that if things didn't work out it could lead to a pretty awkward dynamic being that we are on a lease together. | Completely crushing on my new roommate, but I don't want to make our living situation awkward. Would it be unwise to pursue anything or tell her how I feel? Should I just wait and see if she has similar feelings? I feel like even if she did have feelings she'd hide them because I'm just getting out of a long relationship and because we are roommates. |
t3_1nvmud | relationships | He [19] is hanging out with the girl [19] he cheated/was unfaithful to me [19] with as friends but I'm not okay with it. | **Sorry, I think my title is confusing. He's hanging out with the girl as friends, but he cheated on me with her at one point in our relationship.**
He's not officially my boyfriend right now but we're exes and dating/more than friends. We've been on and off for a little over 2 years now.
When we were officially together, he cheated on me with another girl by flirtily texting with her and flirting with her in person. At a drinking party he hugged her way too much and cuddled with her in bed (he is adamant that none of it was sexual).
He cut off contact with her but after we broke up, he became friends with her. We started talking again and dating/being more than friends. He promises they're just friends and he has no interest in hooking up with her. I can't trust him. He knows I'm uncomfortable that he's hanging out with her but he does not do anything about it.
What do I do? | Ex that I'm dating is now friends with a girl he cheated on me with and won't cut off friendship with her because he reassure that they are just friends. I'm uncomfortable with it. |
t3_4bcew9 | relationships | We (32M and 28F) discovered this weekend that our friends are hoarders. How to help them? | My (32M) girlfriend (28F) and I have a very good friend, Steve (35M) we have known for several months. He's a community leader, a firefighter, a veteran, and a really great person. We also recently met his wife, Sarah (36F), who is equally wonderful. We have been told that they have three daughters, but haven't met them. I have tremendous respect for these people.
This weekend, we were hanging out at our club when Steve and Sarah invited us back to their home to use their hot tub. It sounded like fun, so we agreed. We settled up with the bar, and got an uber.
When we got to their house, we were stunned. It was a pit. We entered through the garage, which was packed full. There was a narrow path to the door, but absolutely no room for cars. Inside was no better. Every horizontal surface was covered in shit. There were boxes of old bottles and sippy cups, clothes everywhere, discarded mail and paperwork stacked all over the place, and so on. There were literal paths carved through the detritus. Steve showed us the room with his bar, which he has bragged about before, and it was more of the same. There were bottles of liquor on every surface, including the floor, as well as more paperwork and mail stacked waist-high against the wall. There was barely room for four chairs in a 15'x15' room because of the clutter.
My girlfriend and I kept throwing glances to one another like, "are you seeing this? What the hell?" We enjoyed the hot tub and their company, but the whole experience was incredibly surreal. Rather than stay the night, we called an uber because we felt so uncomfortable in the house. Of course, the whole way back, we were just sharing our shock with each other and our Uber driver.
So we realize that our friends have a problem and, to be honest, we're concerned for the children. How do we approach this, and offer help to our friends without embarrassing or shaming them? | Our friends are hoarders. How do we offer them support and help without embarrassing them? |
t3_20ox2c | personalfinance | Group Universal Life through employer vs. term life insurance? | I need to get some life insurance (31 yo, married, one young child, primary earner). My US employer offers GUL (Group Universal Life) insurance at a low rate, but the general recommendation in /r/personalfinance is to avoid universal life insurance in favor of term. The GUL plan seems like a great deal, but am I missing a big downside?
Details:
* The GUL plan currently costs $0.23/month for each $10k of coverage. I can increase or decrease the coverage amount at any time.
* The cost of the insurance goes up as I age, but the big increases won't hit until my 40s or 50s. I plan to decrease the coverage amount over time as I save more money (eventually dropping it entirely).
* The GUL plan also has an optional "Cash Accumulation Account" which I would not contribute to.
* As a point of comparison, a 10-year guaranteed term policy would cost me $0.27/month to $0.41/month for each $10k of coverage (quotes from term4sale.com) | Need to choose between cheap Group Universal Life and Term Life insurance. Universal life insurance is usually poo-pooed in /r/personalfinance, but it seems like a better deal than Term in my case. |
t3_2b76pw | tifu | TIFU by speed-walking with a shopping cart | So I work in retail, and I was finishing up my stray cart (basically putting away all of the items that shoppers abandon either at the registers or all over the store.) It was nearing closing time, and I wanted to get this shit done. I was on my way up to the front of the store with my now empty cart. These carts aren't like your usual shopping carts, they are very short and stocky and have this weird metal bar/basket a few inches off of the ground that supports the main cloth basket. So anyway, I'm walking quite briskly with the cart, and I guess I took too long of a stride. I end up stepping right onto this bar, causing the cart to fly right out of my hands with my foot still on it, nearly making me do the splits. I try to grab onto a mannequin stand to break my fall, but I just ended up smashing my elbow into the stand and falling right on my ass anyway. Thankfully it wasn't busy so a few co-workers and maybe 1 or two customers saw, but damn was I embarrassed. | I mis-stepped onto a shopping cart's lower basket, did the splits on the way down and fell right on my ass. |
t3_2gf3qg | relationships | Me [27M] with my ex[27F] of 2 years broke up after a year of living together & she still reaches out & wants to see me & I'm getting mixed signals | My ex and I broke up about 1 month ago & I moved out. It wasn't what I wanted and after 2 weeks she started texting me again. We've been keeping it friendly, she called me when she was sick & I brought her dinner & slept over. We cuddled all night but nothing serous. I admitted last week that I missed her & she called me and wanted to see me because she "wanted a hug" & we got coffee & kissed.
Today she called me for help with her internet & I went to our old apartment to set it up for her but when I tried for a kiss she said it would make things complicated. I want her back but I don't want to play this game if it doesn't end well. | After 2 years together my ex who I want to give it another go with is playing hot & cold and I'm not sure how to handle it. |
t3_16xu8m | dating_advice | F20 paid for dinner with M23. What does this mean? | On our 2nd dinner date (4th maybe 5th date in total) after we were both done eating we sat there and talked/sipped tea and coffee for maybe 30 minutes untill I (M23) had to go to the bathroom. I come back and we talk for another 15 minutes and as we get up about to leave I realized the bill hasn't been paid yet (honestly forgot about it because i was too engaged in conversation). I ask F20 what did you do with it? and it turns out she had already paid it.
At our first dinner we paid seperately and at our other dates I paid for tickets to a show and other small things. | Girl sneakly pays for dinner. What does this mean? Is going to the washroom after dinner code for 'I want you to pay the bill'? |
t3_1uo6us | relationships | Me [18 /M] Need help dealing with a breakup with girlfriend [21 /F] | My girlfriend [F/age 21] and I [M/age 18] broke up after about 4 months back in august in 2013 before school started.
Before we broke up we both went on vacation with our own families. This could be a cause, because we didn't see each other for about 2 months in which when she returned we broke up over text messages (note: I never saw her after the day i left for vacation) which was around first week of july in 2013. But the reason i think she broke up with me is because of school, she wanted to focus in university.
Btw I go to college and I am in a program with mostly guys and the only interactions with a girl i get is my best friend.
Ever since we broke we don't talk much as we use to, or talk at all. I have cried over her several times and still miss her a lot and think about her. I thought she was the one.
So i need help in what to do... should i tell her my feelings or try to stay strong and hope it gets better? Basically i agreed we could just be friends even though i didn't want to be and it seemed like it was a bit hard for her too... but it seems like we are not even that much of friends anymore.
Sorry if its a bit confusing and thanks for the help ahead of time. Feel free to ask questions and ill try to answer them to clear things up. | Basically i need some help getting over a girl that i thought was the one and if i should come clean about my feelings that i have went through these past few months?(feelings of sadness and loneliness and missing her) |
t3_33shqj | relationships | Me [19 F] should I be trying to help my brother[16 M] with his life? | This is my first Reddit post and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right, but thank you if you read it and I'm sorry for my relatively scatterbrained writing!
My brother (we'll call him George) does very poorly at school, has bad hygiene and spends every minute of his time on the computer. He's a smart kid, but he's fallen so far behind in school that he's not even in standard classes anymore. He also struggles in those classes and has never brought home homework since about third grade. I think he is passing one course right now, and that would be metal work.
My parents seem to have given up and it's bothering me. I regret not trying harder in school (I was about average) and I know it's not fair to push what I regret onto him, but it hurts me to see him do absolutely nothing. He wants to be a mechanic but as of now he will not graduate with everyone his age, if at all. The only time he is not playing video games is when the internet is off from midnight to six in the morning and when he's at school. Which leaves about eight or so hours on weekdays and he plays twelve on weekends not counting the time he spends watching movies.
Maybe I'm being prissy and should butt out, but I feel like he should not be able to waste all that time away and fail school. There is absolutely no consequences for his lack of attention at school or even the fact that he brushes his teeth only a couple times a week. I've tried gentle helping, I've tried talking to my parents who tell me I'm not the adult (they're right and I live under their roof so I have to obey them), I've tried cutting back his computer usage to three hours on weekdays and five hours on weekends but he gets through it. I've tried countless things.
Reddit, should I just leave him be and worry about myself? I love him to death and I miss talking to him like we used to. It's been like this for awhile. Maybe it's puberty, I don't know. I'm at a loss. Someone tell me what to do. | Brother is failing most of his classes, my parents don't seem to care and all he does is play video games. Should I try to help him or just leave it be? |
t3_2bitlk | relationships | A girl [22F] I broke up with over a year ago randomly messaged me [22m] on facebook. | I was sorta dating this girl when I was 21 years old and she was 20. What I mean by sorta dating was that we were sleeping together but never had a title. We had a messy falling out when I wouldn't commit to her. I haven't spoken to her since. After a year she sent me a message on facebook asking what I'm up too and that type of stuff. I thought she was mad at me this entire time. We ended up meeting up and started talking. And she was really probing me about who I'm with. I told her I'm not looking for a girlfriend. She was insistent that I need a girlfriend which I thought was weird. Were both pretty experienced and open so we talked a lot about sex. She didn't mind me putting my hands on her but she was hesitant to go any further.
She mentioned she was thinking about moving to another state when we were messaging on facebook. But what she didn't tell me until later on that it was to live with her fiance who's in the military. Her fiance doesn't live here. While we were talking her fiance called and she didn't mention to him that I was there hanging out with her. I got the feeling that it wasn't the fiance that was stopping her from going further. It felt more like she didn't know if she could trust me because I know I'm not the purest dude out there. We hung out talking for a little while more before I left. Before I left she said she wanted to hang out again but I do feel a bit guilty about sleeping with a girl who's taken. At the same time i really want to keep pushing this forward. I know I shouldn't be thinking about sleeping with a taken girl but I know if we hang out more we would likely end up sleeping together. | girl i had a messy break up with a year ago now has a boyfriend but wants to hang out again and shes hiding me from him. |
t3_2kokkx | tifu | TIFU by thinking my brother was calling | A bit of background, my brother is a high school teacher who sometimes has to call parents to inform them of their child's behaviour, he uses a private number when calling them. Anyway back to the main story, I was at college having dinner when I got a call from a private number. I presumed it was my brother calling me, so i naturally responded to the call with "sup bitch" before I could finish the person on the other end of the call interrupts me saying "Hi, I'm from the university of _____ will still you be attending our open day on the __th?" When I realized who was calling me I started choking on what I what I hoped sounded like a "Yes". I still feel like I dodged a bullet. | nearly responded to a call from a university by calling them a bitch. |
t3_19n22d | AskReddit | What do you when someone fucks up a favor? | So my fiance got a new car so he gave me his old one. We then moved to MA where it was discovered that it won't pass the emissions test and the work to fix it would not be worth while. Fortunately, my parents are in VT (where there is no emissions test) so we figured we'd sell it from their place. When we asked if we could park the car their while we sold it and meet with any buyers, they offered to set up the Craigslist ad and take care of all the paperwork. We thanked them throughly and the car was sold a couple of days after the ad was posted. The next weekend my mom came down with the cash from the buyer and a "bill of sale". Apparently she had taken the initiative and written her own bill of sale instead of using the one required by the state. She also didn't have the required registration form or the plates. I need to cancel my insurance (which requires a bill of sale) and file taxes on it next year. Do I get to be upset says they did me a favor? | My parents sold my car for me and may have fucked up the paper work. Now what? |
t3_2nunmv | relationships | My fiancee [F24] of 3 years is threatening to break up with me [M25], and while I'm looking into help from people we know, I have a question about gifts. | Currently looking to involve both families because we have a 2 year old son in the middle of this and everyone thinks she's being pretty ridiculous with how she's approached our relationship (had an emotional affair with a guy she still tries to be friends with and ran from all of our problems) as well as trying to get her to see a couple's therapist.
Anyway, the question here is about the gifts she bought me. For instance, last February, she bought me a new 32" TV and a second | We're not married, but have lived together for over a year. Do I get to keep the Christmas gifts and such, or does she get to keep them? |
t3_3yem97 | relationships | Me [28 M] have decided to break up with my girlfriend [23 F] of 3 months, she lives 45 minutes away and we only see each other when we've made plans, how do I arrange to get together so I can do it in person without basically breaking up with her via text? | My girlfriend and I live 45 minutes away from each other and only see each other when we make plans. Also since she lives with her parents she drives to see me, I never drive to see her. When we're not together we only ever communicate through text, neither of us have ever called the other.
I've decided I want to breakup, is there some way I can text her to meet so we can have that conversation in person without it being immediately clear what's why we're meeting? I feel like any way I ask to meet in her town she will immediately know that it's not good news and that's almost as bad as breaking up with her via text message.
I don't want to make her drive 45 minutes under false pretenses to get broken up with, that would be a shit move.
Anyone got any suggestions? | How to arrange a breakup meeting? |
t3_28inic | tifu | TIFU by cleaning up my dog's shit | So today was pretty much a normal day for me, just doing normal things, going through my normal, everyday schedule. One item on said schedule is walking my dogs.
I have two of them that I walk simultaneously, so it's a bit tricky trying to clean up their business when the time comes, but I usually manage. Usually. So when the time came, I put both leashes into my right hand, and bent down to collect the package with my left. However, at that moment, my dogs caught sight of another life form (probably a cat). This animal treading on their territory was heresy in my dogs' eyes, so they both LUNGED for the target, jerking me forward, while dragging my wrist and part of my forearm through Ground Zero.
But it doesn't end there.
That area of my left arm was pretty much smeared with the stuff, so I decided to just not use it for the rest of the walk. I got my dogs home after a while, and believe it or not, I had pretty much forgotten about my contaminated wrist. So I went upstairs and threw myself on the nice, comfy, leather arm chair...without washing my arm off.
The shit is smeared all over the left arm on the chair. Hopefully nobody wants to use it. I cleaned most of it off, but the smell is unmistakable. | Smeared shit all over an expensive chair, now smells like the Taco Bell dollar menu. |
t3_mn9v1 | AskReddit | PC Help | Dear Reddit,
I was casually browsing the site when all of a sudden boom! My PC started going a little crazy then this program called cloud av 2012 appeared out of nowhere and now it's trying to run everything and pops up every few seconds saying multiple things are infected and to stop evaluating and purchase the full version. No matter how many times I kill the process or what I do it won't go away. Also I have posted a picture of a program I am 99 percent certain I downloaded from Microsoft for spyware and malware search and removal, I want to know if it's legit or not. I am at a loss Reddit, please help.
P.S. I have additional images of other errors it designs for me to fall for.
Images: (The Third Photo is the one with said program's legitness) | Halp?! |
t3_4dil0c | tifu | TIFU By almost chopping of my finger. | Obligatory "this happened last week Sunday not today". So basically I was sitting in my room watching some Youtube when my mom calls me down to help her prepare dinner. Being the good boy that I am, i oblige and head down the stairs to help her chop some vegetables. I've done this plenty of times before so i was fairly comfortable with the action of cutting the vegetables. After a good 5 minutes of cutting, my mom says something to me. Being the dumbass that I am, I turn my head to look BUT I STILL CONTINUE CUTTING. All of a sudden a sharp pain shoots up my hand and as I look down I see my bloodied finger (or what remained of it). I took off a huge chunk from my index finger and had to get a bandage around it. | Jacking off is going to be a real pain right now. |
t3_2qapn7 | offmychest | I had my world rocked over the last few days.... I really dislike Christmas sometimes. | I was was just told something that basically made me want to vomit on spot. If you didnt know about me , I grew up in homeless shelters, and on the streets of edmonton, calgary, and vancouver . From the age of 12-13 i have had no stable home or place to feel safe. This was do to me having issues coming from an abusive and broken home , and I did what most children do 'and act out and chose to smoke pot because i was sad i didnt have the white picket fence i saw everyone else have, and for that i was thrown to the wolves the run the streets. After being told a few days ago that i am a problem still and i am a negative influence and that is why i am not invited to any holiday celebration, or told of family events because i choose to still smoke ( with a DR backing me i might add) I get awoken to another family member being like lol i got the young ones high last night isnt that cool? ya super cool ....... i hang with you , you hang with them, you get them high so thats gonna be my fault in my dads crazy ass wife"s loopy brain,yup awesome! | = Just found out the whole reasoning on why im not part of the family has really nothing to do with me anymore......................... |
t3_2akmec | tifu | TIFU by answering the door | So, early yesterday morning I was sat at my computer in the lounge, just in my boxers and a t-shirt, having been chatting with a girl I really like for about 7 hours throughout the night. I'd had a few energy drinks, but I was still pretty much half-asleep on my feet chatting, and fairly aroused from the topics of conversation, when I heard a knock at the door.
"It's a Saturday, who the hell is knocking at 8am?" I thought, but not one to just ignore someone knocking, I grabbed my dressing gown, threw it on, and went to the door.
Turned out it was two young-ish girls, I'd have said 18-20 years old. I could tell from the magazines they were holding, called Watchtower, that they were Jehovah's Witnesses. I know most people would just shut the door again, but I wasn't brought up to be impolite.
"Hi there," one of them said, "have you ever thought about the light of Christ? Would you mind talking about..."
She just stopped, blinked, and turned around quickly and walked off quickly, obviously flustered. The second one kept looking at me for about 10 seconds, looking me over with an appraising eye, before running off after her quickly departing friend.
"What the hell was that about?" I thought... before I looked down, and realised that my dressing gown hadn't been closed, I was still semi-aroused, and the button on the flies of my boxers hadn't been done up, and they had seen *everything*.
My crush laughed her fucking ass off when I told her, and though it was funny, I really feel bad for those girls, because they *couldn't* have expected that. | Half-asleep aroused guy doesn't cover up properly, exposes himself to two innocent teenage Jehovah's Witnesses. |
t3_1b34yq | relationships | My boyfriend [22] and I [18] are getting pretty serious. How do we talk about our future? | I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 22. We've known each other for about 4-5 months and we've been together for just over 3 months. We grew very close within the first month and he moved in with me (I still live with my parents) 3 weeks ago. My family like him and everybody gets along.
We've talked about having kids in the next few years (I'm currently on depo provera so I can't get pregnant right now) but not about marriage. How do I bring it up without sounding too clingy or pushy? I'd definitely like to get married before having kids.
Marriage is my main concern, but I eventually want to talk to him about our general "future", things like money and careers. I'm currently studying and he has a low-income job.
We love each other very much and we definitely want kids, but I need some advice on the stages in between. I know we haven't been together for long but we are very close and I'd also like to be prepared if the topic ever comes up. | I need some advice on how to talk about marriage and other stuff with my boyfriend. |
t3_r5n1k | AskReddit | Are there any sagely redditors that can help me on a dilemma? | I'm in charge of a club on campus planning a trip. This last year the club fell apart and everyone disappeared. I put things back together and we are now planning a trip and surprise one of the people who walked away is back and wanting to go. We have enough money from the school for everyone except her unless we use money from our own club account that we have fundraised ourselves. She is a passive aggressive self centered bitch who is only back so she can go on this trip. Being in charge I am torn between being impersonal and letting her go, and cutting her off the trip because she is being manipulative. I am supposed to make a decision by 5 pm. I was hoping for some input from you guys. | I have to choose whether someone I don't like gets to participate in a club trip. Any guidance? |
t3_i1j4i | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, Any computer geeks out there can help me with this simple task? | So I recently got a kindle, and it is awesome! I really can't keep my hands off of it. I loaded it with a few books, and everything is working perfectly.
Now, I am trying to convert some PDF's to .mobi's using Calibre (great program). I've had issues after converting the PDF's with page numbers. The page numbers are all over the place on the kindle, as well as the title (which normally would appear at the top of the page on the PDF, but appears in random places). I looked around online, to try to figure out how to remove the header and footer (title and page number), and stumbled upon a forum that included codes to remove them. I am not good with codes, and it seemed foreign and difficult to me. After much frustration, I finally discovered a trick that I thought would work. I saw that you could use Mac OSX's preview application to crop the title and page number. What I did was select the entire page (from right under the title at the top, to right above the page number at the bottom. I saved the PDF, and that that was the solution to my problem. What I got was a nice, clean looking PDF without the title at the top of each page, and sans page numbers. I thought it was finally going to be able to convert to .mobi flawlessly, but when I saw the converted .mobi, the page numbers and title on each page were still there? Magic? How did that happen? Can anyone help me get rid of these pesky titles and page numbers on every damn page? I would be ever grateful. This is the only thing holding back my unconditional love towards my kindle. | Need to get rid of page numbers and header on each page, while converting the PDF to .mobi. Tried calibre, and preview. Help? |
t3_1138dw | relationships | My bf (23 M) is feeling down because his best friend rarely comes over. Would it be appropriate if I (21 F) asked the friend to come by? | Me (21 f) and my bf(23 M) have been together for almost a year now. My bf's pet died yesterday and he was really upset about it. He was crying and then just got upset about a bunch of different things. He said that his best friend just thinks of him as a "charity case" and was upset because this friend often says he'll come over and then ends up ditching (I don't think the friend does it maliciously, he is just one of those kinds of people that doesn't really stick to plans). So, would it be out of line if I sent his friend a message on facebook and just said something like "hey, no pressure but you should come by sometime soon, ____'s pet just died and he's really upset, and he's said he misses you and I know seeing you would really make him happy." Something like that? | BF's pet died, he's upset about that but also the fact that he rarely sees his best friend. Would it be out of line for me to send the friend a facebook message and say he should come by sometime? I just know it would make my bf really happy but I don't know if this is something I should get involved in. |
t3_fgztp | AskReddit | Worried about getting into grad school for Comp Sci | So I'm a junior math major/comp sci minor at a pretty decent US university and frankly, I'm scared shitless about getting into a decent grad school after undergrad.
I've always wanted to go to grad school after undergrad, but I'm really worried about my GPA. It's not mortifyingly terrible (2.89) but clearly its not stellar either. It's not that I have trouble with the material, its just that my procrastination has dealt me a couple of severe blows and sometimes freeze up on tests.
I've been working with a post-doc on his research for about a year and by the time I graduate I should be co-author on two publications which I hear really helps, but I don't know how much this will compensate for my GPA.
Give it to me straight Reddit, how hard is it going to be to get into grad school? How much do they focus on GPA, interviews, essays, etc? | I want to go to grad school for comp sci but my GPA isn't very good though I'll be co-author on two publications by the time I graduate. How do these two things affect each other? |
t3_r8w4f | AskReddit | Roll out the throwaways /r/AskReddit... have you ever suddenly become insanely aroused and just HAD to relieve yourself somewhere immediatley? I'll begin.. | So i'm at work sitting at my desk when this cute girl from HR just about makes it into my peripherals as she walked over towards a cupboard to get something. I slowly begin to turn my head in sync with her slowly bending over, showing her near-perfect ass. I had recently returned to work from being ill for a few days and hadn't knocked one out for a while, and this just got me going instantly. I swiftly made my way to the first floor bathroom (in the storage room) and had one of my top five faps. ever.
As I returned to my desk carrying a box of toner that I had to pretend I couldn't find, a colleague looked at me strange, he knew the toner was right next to the door, he knew I knew because I told him earlier when he went to find some. He then looked at the girl and back to me quickly. He knew what I had done and gave me a look of 'I've been there...' | Saw hot ass, fap in rarely used toilet, colleague knew, he probably has done the same. |
t3_jlkdn | AskReddit | I'm 19 years old and I have arthritis. I need advice... | I tore my ACL and meniscus 2 years ago playing tennis. I had surgery a few weeks later and it was painful. I hated the whole experience. But I knew I needed it. I listened to my doctor and my physical therapist and I thought I was doing fine. But I was still in pain and I had no range of motion in my knee. The doctor said I needed another surgery because scar tissue had built up in my knee. I was devastated. I decided to get a second opinion from another doctor and he agreed with my original doctor. So I had another surgery 3 months after my first surgery.
This was all 2 years ago in 2009. Since then I have regained all range of motion but I'm still in a lot of pain. It hurts to walk most days and sometimes I can't walk at all. I was told about a different doctor further from where I live who specialized in Orthopedic pain so I decided to ask him what was going on and if he could fix it. That's when he told me that I have early stages of arthritis. He says I will definitely need total knee replacement in 20 years and that there is nothing I can do for the pain.
So I guess I'm just asking how I can live with this. I feel so pathetic right now knowing that I'm not going to be able to do simple things like go up stairs without being in pain. I just need helpful words and maybe options for what I can do... Thanks for reading if you did | Had 2 surgeries for an ACL and meniscus tear and found out 2 years later I have arthritis--- all at the age 19. |
t3_3kgox9 | relationships | Me [24 F] with my SO [24M] of 2 years, I got him a big surprise and would love some ideas on how to deliver! | I figured you could use a break from some of these crazy stories and help someone with a good thing!
So we're both students. He has an oooold MacBook that runs slowly and keeps getting viruses. He said he was just going to get a cheap crappy laptop for $150 or so, I told him not to.
When I say "big surprise" I mean I have never gotten anyone something this expensive before, a refurbished laptop that doubles into a tablet (a PC this time, he says he is done with Macs). It's smaller and perfect for him to lug around... I payed almost $500 for it.
I'm giving it to him tonight. I was going to wait until his birthday (December) but figured it will be really useful for the current semester. It's his early birthday/Christmas gift and he has no idea it's coming.
Redit, do you have any sweet, funny, or thoughtful ideas for the delivery of my gift? | Got my boyfriend a laptop since his is almost shot, could use some ideas on how to make the delivery of the surprise complete! |
t3_2w17tl | tifu | TIFU by letting my friend change my ringtone | A couple days ago, I was hanging out with my friends playing games and shit, when suddenly one of my friends (let's call him "Bob") asks if I can borrow my phone so he can check something. I say sure and decide to give him my phone. A couple minutes later I get my phone back from Bob, but I noticed that he had a huge grin on his face, but me being the dumbass that I am think nothing about it. Fast forward to Friday in the middle of math class, when all of a sudden my phone is receiving a call from somebody, but instead of playing the ringtone that was originally on there, a really racist song starts playing out loud on full volume(here is the song link if you want to listen to it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb5L32hcmQ) and i get a few death stares from a couple of the African-american and Hispanic kids and the teacher decides to kick me out of the classroom. Never have i ever felt so humiliated in my life before. I now feel like committing seppuku. | let a friend borrow my phone, friend changes ringtone to racist song, phone goes off in class, now i want to kill myself |
t3_3lcdjj | relationships | 31 M. How do you manage to stay positive after constant letdowns? | Was in a long relationship that ended summer of last year. Took my necessary time to get over it and then hit the dating scene again. Joined all the usual dating sites (pof, okcupid, tinder, hinge, etc.).
In the span of about a year I have been on a lot of dates. Most have ended after a single date. Some have went to two to three. Three progressed to some level of exclusivity from dating only each other to full-on bf/gf commitment for a short period of time.
The common theme here is that every single case ended in parting ways, breaking up, etc rather quickly. Some cases we weren't compatible. Some cases they cheated. The details aren't important but rather the end result.
I like to think that I'm a catch. Great career, no kids, no crazy exes or divorces, no diseases, no criminal record, have my own place. Absolutely no "baggage" whatsoever. I'm outgoing, friendly, and work very hard to make the other person happy and put honesty and communication as my number on priority. Plus I got lucky in the looks department. At first I thought it was a "their loss" type thing but after so many swings and misses I am really starting to wonder if it is something with me. I've asked friends and even exes that I still talk to and they all say it is in my head.
It is getting exhausting. I am sick of getting my hopes up over and over only for it to come crashing down.
For those of you who have experienced this, what do you do? Take a break from dating for a while? Just keep on trucking and meeting new people and hope something sticks? Reevaluate how you are approaching dating and see if there are some huge flaws that you can improve upon? | been on a lot of dates. met a lot of women. strikeout after strikeout. getting quite frustrated and don't know if it is something I'm doing or just the nature of the beast. Hoping someone out there can relate and provide some advice. |
t3_10yxqs | relationship_advice | My 2 year girlfriend gave me a week to prove that we should continue dating...ideas? | So I've been a lazy sleazebag ass and my girlfriend has been waiting for me to do something about it for a month...Now she's giving me a week to prove to her that I'm worth staying with her. We are in a long distance relationship, but we're only an hour and a half apart, so we see each other every third week or so. So far I've thought of sending her same-day delivery "Im sorry" flowers (she likes juuust a tad of cheesy), and I plan on making a video for her every morning. Any other ideas please? | Girlfriend just gave me a week to prove we should continue dating...ideas? |
t3_2wbwi8 | relationships | My [M/21] girlfriend [F/21] of 5 years has suddenly changed? | Okay I dont know where to begin but I need to say this and get some advice. When I was younger, I met this beautiful woman that eventually became my girlfriend. Over the years, we have had our ups and downs like any relationship.
This is the girl who would always love seeing me and we would have a blast for hours. This year though, I have noticed that she has not been acting the same way as she used too. Whenever I would see her, she would try to quickly get me to leave. She became more secretive about who she was texting. She would often cancel plans when I wanted to see her. Our conversations over the phone our through text would become her just saying some short replies like "Ok" and "Yeah" etc.
I finally said that enough was enough and decided to confront her about this. When I asked her about why she has been acting so different recently, she told me that she doesn't know what she wants from our relationship anymore. I was confused because we have always been so close throughout the years. I asked her when she started to feel like this and she got annoyed and kept saying that she doesn't know.
We decided that we were going to ride this out and see how it goes but her way of doing this is to just push me aside until she says she might "feel different". I don't want this relationship to end and I want to try anything to help make it better.
My question to you people is, have you ever been in a relationship where this has happened? Any advice on how you dealt with it or fixed it? Thank you all. | Girlfriend of 5 years suddenly has changed. Says she doesnt know what she wants from this relationship anymore. Need advice on how to deal with this or what made her change. |
t3_2lp2rw | relationships | Me(22M) have been apart of a university committee for about a year now and feel like I'm left out/disliked | So I(22M) love film and decided it would be a good idea to join the film
committee at my university a semester ago. I have been feeling like the other members(m/f 18-24) don't really care that I'm there or just don't like me. I try to help out a lot and do my part. Even if I don't like a movie that the committee voted on showing I still help with trying to get the rights and am more than happy to solicit and spam posters on campus with them.(I don't complain about the movie either, I just might say that I don't like it if we're talking about it, but I don't insult it.) I try to talk and joke around with some of them, and sometimes it feels like they like me but most of the time it doesn't.
I'll use a recent example. So after a film that we showed one of the members invited people to hang out at their apartment. I was invited, which is good, but while there it just felt like several people were giving me the cold shoulder. Like I try to talk to them and they just couldn't be more bothered by the fact. But what really upset me was that when we were packing up to leave, I was the last one out, that includes the host. Everyone had left by the time I was done picking my stuff up.(about 4-5 minutes) Everyone had paired up to walk back to their respective dorms. But I wasn't consulted or talked to about this. Thank god that at least one person decided they should wait for me outside. I weigh 118 pounds and we left around 12-1 A.M. No one texts me unless I am needed for something. It just feels like I'm not anyone's friend in the committee.
Am I overreacting or is there a hint I'm not getting. | Feeling left out of committee, is there a hint I'm not getting? |
t3_sqado | AskReddit | Age Registrictions VS Educational Restrictions thoughts? | So I've been thinking lately (dangerous stuff) that we should remove age restrictions and instead replace them with education restrictions. First, let me say that I don't believe in big government at all, but it's a reality in our world and I don't see a way for there to be a successful country with little government or a complete lack there of. I don't want to argue this point because government and opinions on it are entirely subjective and if you don't agree with me than that's chill but I'd rather focus on the topic at hand.
My idea basically works like this, in order for you to drive a car you'd have to be 15/16 depending on what the state allows, but instead of waiting until you're 18 to have your restrictions removed (driving past 12am for example) you'd just wait until you graduate high school, the same thing would go or cigarettes, a credit card, or anything that requires you to be 18 years of age, in essence a HS diploma/GED would be the equivalent to being 18 years old in our current system.
To take this further, the government could enforce a law that states you need an associates, or two years of formal education at a higher level institution to be granted access to restrictions that are 21+. So if you wanted to drink alcohol for example you'd have to attend college for two years and have something to show for it; proof of enrollment with the goal of a four year degree or an associates degree. If per chance you never ended up getting your degree the two years of higher education would simply be enough to continue enjoying the perks of being 21+ in our current system.
Ultimately, I think this is a much better system because it really makes education an even bigger factor in our lives and even if you hate committing the two years to college so you can buy alcohol then at least you got some knowledge and knowledge is pretty cool and useful.
does this sound feasible? Or is this just crazy talk? | change age restrictions to education restrictions, ergo HS diploma = 18 and two years of formal education at a Uni or College would be the equivalent of being 21+ |
t3_2ii29i | relationships | Dating my (25m) awesome gf (26f) for 3 years..who is now good friends with an old pal (25f) I had a one nighter with | So here's the skinny...I met my perfect gf, who we'll call Liz, about three years ago, and life has been bliss since then. When we started dating, my gf and I lived about 2000 miles from my hometown (woo dc!) so it took her until about a year ago, when we moved out to the dc area for job reasons, to meet my whole friend group. She of course met the bff's and close friends pretty quickly, but one girl she did not meet until recently was an old friend, we'll call her Anna.
Now Anna and I had a drunken one-nighter back about 3 months before I met Liz. We amicably moved on and have no feelings for each other, and drifted apart while I was gone. However, now that I've moved back to dc with Liz (we live together) I've reconnected with Anna, who also has an awesome boyfriend of nearly 3yrs, and the four of us have taken to hanging out a lot. She and Anna now hang out and are friends on their own. This was unexpected to say the least, and while Liz and I had the awk sex history talk back in the day when we started going out, she doesn't know me and Anna banged. Liz and I have started looking at rings, and there's no doubt in my mind she's the one. I'm all for honesty, but me and Anna's bang really meant nothing, and I don't want Liz to feel weird around her,especially since she's new to the area and already states she wishes she had more female friends. My question is should I tell Liz about me and Anna? | My long 3yr gf has become friends with a ons I had before we met. Tell or no? |
t3_2q2f0z | personalfinance | Pay off loan or keep it for credit | I have a question. My wife's student loan is almost paid off. I am wondering if I should pay it off or keep it around a bit to boost credit. We want to buy a house this summer. I'm not sure if it'd be better to pay it off or keep, or if it won't make a difference.
The loan was for $30,000. We have been making $2,000 payments the last year. It has $1,500 left. She graduated 2.5 years ago. We have the money to pay it off so thats not a problem. The minimum payment is $300. But I am wondering if keeping it on for when we apply for a mortage will help.
She doesn't really have much else for credit. We pay cash for our cars. We have credit cards that we pay off every month. | keep loan for 6 more months or pay off now to maximize future mortage rates. |
t3_42jxy7 | Advice | I avoid everything else by playing video games? | I don't know what I want to do with my life so I tend to gravitate towards video games because they are fun and it's easy to convince myself that *they* are what I want to do with my life.
I go in and out of "moods" where I get very focused on games and put school to the side. It's not only games though.....For a week I will be obsessed with writing, and then studying psychology, and then chess, and then back to games again. It's like I only feel ok when I am completely absorbed by something but I can never stick to one thing so I never get really good at any one thing. I think if I had stuck to one of these things consistently for at least a year I would have some decent skills but I am mediocre in everything because I am so fickle. I am attending college next year (I am a senior in highschool) and I am worried that I will continue to be this way and change majors 50 times or something. The thing is that I would just get a job to make money and keep myself busy but I hate doing things that don't have a "grand purpose" if that makes sense. Anytime not spent towards my "life purpose" is pretty much time wasted and getting a low pay job will probably only make me depressed. I am in band right now and this is my fourth year and I HATE it because I know for a fact I don't want to do anything with music. Even though I enjoy playing and listening to the music I hate that it's not something I plan to pursue after highschool so it feels like a waste of time. | I am a highschool student who gets obsessed/focused on one thing at a time yet I can never stick to one thing. I understand most people are like this in their teen years, but I can't seem to stick to anything and I don't want this to define my life. |
t3_1w31sk | relationships | Well, this is embarrassing. Me (22f) with him (24m) two months casual. | Basically, we've been seeing each other for two months but met last year. We go on dates, flirt, talk daily, etc. We just aren't official but it was getting there. Honestly. We have tons of mutual friends but they don't know very much.
Anyway, we were texting back and forth per usual and he playfully started teasing me about how I don't like him. Dumb. I shot that down and sent him a text saying that I really care for him and can see this going somewhere.
I never received a reply. This was last week. Like, I just put my feelings out there so blatantly and he didn't reply. I asked a friend about this as I was so confused and she told me that he's telling our friends how he doesn't think it'll work.
Wtf? Then talk to me about it. I don't get this. I don't get what happened. I'm mortified. I don't want to send anything else. I don't really expect to hear from him but I guess I want to. I just don't know how to proceed.
How do I get over the embarrassment? | I told the guy I was seeing how much I liked him and he never responded. |
t3_1mb983 | dogs | Dog is driving me nuts between 4 and 5 AM. | The background: wife and I have two rescued greyhounds. They sleep in their own bowl beds in our upstairs bedroom. Three-and-a-half year old son sleeps across the hall. Dogs are fed around 7 PM at night and let out into fenced backyard. Dogs are let out again between 10 PM and 11 PM before I go to bed. They follow me upstairs immediately after, on the "go upstairs" command. They settle in and go quietly to sleep.
Sometime between 4 and 5 AM, the girl dog starts getting restless. Pacing, quiet whining. This wakes me up, but no one else. I end up having to tell her to go lay down once every ten or fifteen minutes until my wife gets up at 5 AM (her normal, insane, wake-up hour).
I generally want to sleep until 7:30 or 8 AM, and this is killing me. I'm a cranky bastard in the mornings already, this is making it freaking unbearable.
Few other tidbits:
1. Dogs are home alone with few issues all day.
2. Dogs are able to go 12 hours indoors with no accidents.
3. This isn't new behavior. It's been happening for years.
4. If I just let the girl dog out of the bedroom to go downstairs, she starts barking.
5. Boy dog wants no part of any of this, and will sleep until someone tells him to go downstairs.
6. On the weekends, when the wife sets no alarm, I just get up when she gets restless, take them downstairs, feed them, let them out, then go back to bed. This takes less than ten minutes.
7. These are healthy, normal, middle-aged dogs. Been in the family for over five years for both of them.
That's all I can think of. Any suggestions are appreciated. | dog wakes up a 4 AM and it's driving me nuts. HALP> |
t3_2pxpfh | relationships | Me [21 M] cannot stop fantasizing about having sex with my ex | Me and my ex were together for about two years, we had an awesome relationship which we both confided in each other. Without going into too much detail, i became less attracted to her (as I'm sure she did too) once we lived together and spent a lot of time together. At the beginning of the relationship the sex was great and exciting, how I imagine having it with her if we ever meet up again. Once we spent all of out time together, it seemed as the sex dulled down a ton and we just used each other to get off.
I don't feel like I'm caught up in the relationship aspect at all, I just really, really want to have the kind of crazy sex we used to when we were first learning about each others bodies. We currently in separate states and I don't know how to even talk to her about this. Im going to give it some to see if these feeling persist.
Any thoughts appreciated! It's not so much a problem, as it is a nuisance. | I can't stop thinking about having amazing sex with my ex. |
t3_2d7wer | relationships | I'm[17 M] and I've been dating this girl[17 F] for about a month, but how I stop being so awkward? | For the full three years of me being in high school, I had liked this girl quite a lot. Just recently I graduated and went to visit family in another city(6 hours away from her), and while I was visiting I started talking to her a lot more and then decided to asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes and then everything was good(it's been over a month now).
But as i'm writing this, i'm still in that other city away from her. And for as long as I've been on this earth, I've always been a reclusive, shy, awkward person. I have about two weeks left to visit my family and then I go back. I've never kissed a girl, I've never had sex, and nor have I ever been good with girls(oh, the stories I could tell). How do I stop being so awkward?
I want to go back with the intent of being the best boyfriend I can, but I don't know jack about relationships. I keep thinking about what could go wrong if I tried to make out with her, try to instigate something, or if I become too much a pussy to try anything. It brings up my anxiety because I already have huge self confidence issues and I don't want to mess up and have her not like anymore because i'm a loser. Help? | I'm an ex-FA and want to stop being such an awkward little bitch, what should I do? |
t3_upopu | AskReddit | Smuggle me out of Canada?! | Long time lurker, first time poster...
I live in Canada, and have my whole life. I'm a pretty normal single fella, kind, caring and so forth. I have debts, just like most people, living within my means and have no criminal background or outstanding warrants.
I want to smuggle myself out of the country, overseas some where but have no idea where to start to organized this. I have no criminal intentions if I do succeed; It's not like I go over seas and become some kind of degenerate, the bane of some poor innocent soul. No, I want to go somewhere far from here, and if possible just work for food and shelter. I want to smuggle myself because I don't wish to be found...ever.
I just wanna sell everything, pay off as much as I can and vanish from existence. Obviously off'ing myself isn't an option.
Has anyone ever attempted such a thing, and how is a good way to begin? | Don't wanna live on this planet anyone... disappearing seems like the best closest option |
t3_2j5hem | relationships | [23 M] with my gf [27 F] 3 mo. Not traditional. How bad can moving together be? | - GF hates her job and doesn't make great money
- GF pays rent month to month. Can easily move in with me
- Jokes she wants to work for me. I know she really does
- I run my own business and work from home
- I make about 5x her salary
- I love having her company
All that considered, we've been seeing each other about 3 months. We hit it off great, have been on a nice vacation, and my family already loves this girl. She's basically been living at my place the past month, and it's been amazing. Endless sex, home cooking, and having a clean place.
Here's my question. Is it weird for a couple to move in together with a low expectation of long term success? I feel like people usually move in with the person they think is "the one".
Do people ever say, "we should move in for 6 months, and re-evaluate what we want from each other"? I feel like I can give her a much better job, valuable skills, and help her be financially independent which I know she really wants. I'm happy to let her live with me free, so expenses aren't really an issue.
Btw I'm not rich and privileged. She's not using me for my money or anything like that.. But I'd be fine with that haha | gf hates her job, wants to work for me. I'd love to hire her and have her live with me. I think we'd both like to use each other in the short term, but not focused on long term plans |
t3_4nv1xa | personalfinance | (NS, CAN) 22, not in school, out of money, unresolved mental health issues, can't lean on family | Parents are divorced and I don't think either is making much money. Mom lives close but is about to move in with her fiance, who I barely know. Dad lives far away, and besides lives on a boat that he's taking to the Caribbean or something soon.
I have no health insurance (outside of my province's MSI) - earliest free appointment I could get was August 30th. Paying for a psychologist would be somewhat sooner, but 100-150 dollars a session.
Have 800 in credit card debt and 14k in student loans. Monthly payment for these two is about 150. Rent comes to about 700 all together. I don't drink anymore (except for the occasional falling-off-the-wagon) and I'm pretty dang good about not eating out or buying extravagances - seriously, this is like the one thing I'm really proud of.
*The thing I'm really having trouble with is balancing my finances against my mental health. I hate saying stuff like "I wouldn't be able to stand it if" or "I just can't X", but you never know till you try, and if I try, it might turn out that I can't. And I'm really really really scared of what might happen if I can't. Where my appointment isn't for three months, I can't think of a safe way to test the waters. I worked as a cashier part time for a couple of months last year and I won't get into the details but it wasn't good. I'm aware of self-fulfilling prophesies. I'm just scared is all, and hoping I'll get some news or ideas that'll help.*
Been putting out resumes everywhere the last couple of days - not sure how to reply to them when (if) they start to respond.
I have skills and a little experience as a website designer, but oh my god I really don't think I'm ready to do that as a career. | That big paragraph near the middle sums it up pretty well. |
t3_nz6se | AskReddit | Going on a Backpacking Trip through Mexico and South America, What should I bring? | Hey guys!
I am planning a trip to go to South America through Mexico. It is my first big trip and i am nervous and seeking advice about what I need to bring and taking all recommendations about what to see and where to go. I only make 19 thousand bucks a year and I am doing this trip on the super cheap.
I want to know from the experts and anyone with advice for the attractions of South America. Machu Pichu is on the list and so are the Galapagos Islands. Other than that our plan is to make our way to Brazil through the northern nations of the South America.
I plan on keeping a log or a journal for my adventure and possibly publish a book. I am at that point in my Twenties where I have one last "Hurrah" of youthful adventure before I commit fully to my professional dreams of being a Marriage and family Therapist. So please any advice about what is an effective method to travel this absurd distance for very cheap is greatly appreciated.
If anyone has experience with volunteer groups I am interested in also working for a few places for a few weeks. This is going to be expensive but I am thinking of opening a P.O Box for donations of old equipment or the monies or letters of motivation. So please unleash your knowledge upon me so I can organize a sweet plan! | Going to South America and need Advice and shit. |
t3_16yd3w | relationships | I (19f) don't think my (21m) boyfriend loves me anymore..? | I'm so confused... We've been dating for about a year. In the beginning of the relationship he was so much more engaged. He bought me flowers, wrote me emails and long IMs (or atleast responded to mine..) Whenever I would have a problem with something we could talk it through. I was SO happy seeing him and after I saw him. I always wanted to see him more.
Two months ago we had a rough patch.. We broke up (only for a week) and he slept with a girl only a couple days after we broke up (him and I were originally waiting till marriage). Then we got back together. For the past few months I just haven't felt his interest in me. He never has anything to say or ask on the phone and he never responds or sends me emails anymore. He says he loves me. But I don't feel it... I feel like something's wrong. And whenever I bring up a problem I feel we have, he turns it into an argument and gets really defensive. He has said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me (when we were about 4 months into the relationship). What's going on? And what do I do? | When we (I'm 19f he's 21m) first started our relationship a year ago, boyfriend used to be a lot more interested in me (do things for me/ show he cares), but I can't feel his love anymore. |
t3_2244ze | relationships | Me [20M] with my crush/GF-to-be (?) [20F] - confessed love to her, was I too fast? | Hello. Long story short. I met this gorgeous girl about 2.5 weeks ago and we 'clicked' very well. We started hanging out a bit, went for a coffee, contacted on Facebook or talked on the phone. From the very first moments after we met, I thought about her as 'something more'. And indeed, it was 'something more'. I invited her to my place a couple of days ago, a day after she invited me. We had an amazing night (no sex, though.). We were kissing and I told her that I love her. She agreed, told me the same thing after a minute or so. I am dead sure that she is in love with me, I just feel it. And she feels that way too.
But my question is: was I too fast to confess her such things? Should I take it slow? Is it any rule that concerns time after you can tell another person that you are in love with him or her? Of course not. I don't want to play those dating games, like 'I am permitted to tell her that I love her at least 3 months after we met, I am not gonna tell her this now!' and so on. Both me and her are very compatible, she told me that she cares about me and don't want to lose me as someone who is nearby. She didn't change her behaviour after I told her that, just the opposite. We had a long walk yesterday and she told me that she really enjoyed her time.
So Reddit, did I behave wrong? I wouldn't like to scare her off. Or maybe I'm just making problems which do not exist... | Is confessing love after 2-3 weeks of relationship is too fast if both me and her feel the same way? |
t3_4zxm1o | relationships | Dating in early 20s | I've got a question about something I've noticed...is there actually a point to trying to date as a young male? Most of my [24M] female friends only date dudes in their thirties, and they're barely older than 20. This girl I was most recently into complains a lot about "never finding a good guy" (no I don't 'nice guy' her, I directly asked her out, she rejected me, we're still good friends), but rejects basically every person her age that asks her out.
Why is this? Am I doing something wrong? I'm not immature, I don't think. I have my own place, pay all my own bills, have a career I'm happy in, take care of a dog...I get women that aren't fans of 23 year old douchebags that live off their parents and don't want to get a job...but in my case that's not what happening. Do I just have to twiddle my thumbs until I'm 30 to date girls my current age? | I'm apparently too young for women my age or younger. |
t3_1zkyok | needadvice | I need help in a somewhat stressful situation. [Serious] | [typical high school drama] This girl, who we'll call Ashley, doesn't have the best reputation for being with a bunch of guys in the past. She stopped being like that since those times, but some still bother her about her old rep. The other girl, we'll call her Carly (the one I'm in love with, has dated, and has a very intimate friendship with), will not leave Ashley's rep behind her. She constantly refers to her as a slut and such things. I'm close friends with both of them.
After my soccer game today. Me and a few of my teammates are waiting to go home. We're on my phone when all my text come in. A message from Carly, who's apparently mad, pops up which says,
"Well i guess u r over me and now like "Ashley". well have funn and try not to get any sexual diseases."
Ashley's right here and sees that message. She burst into tears because this a recurring thing. Me and her boyfriend try to comfort her. She leaves, gets to the car, and burst into tears with her mom. Her mom demands she tells her what happens. She does and her mom goes to the principal.
Now, Carly, who I like, is gonna be pissed at me cause she is going to get in trouble. (who cares) Not my fault your text comes through as the person it is about is watching.
The Problem is I really love "Carly" and she's gonna get in big trouble. (We go to a Christian school and stuff as simple as that causes a lot of problems.) I'm friends with "Ashley" so i had no choice but to let her know. (Though she would've seen it anyway)
I am very stressed out with other stuff at school and home. I know it seems surprisingly elementary, but I'm dealing with alot. I cannot take this crap and i need your opinion. thanks in advance. (btw this all happened today 3/4/14, and the shitstorm shall start tomorrow) | My female friend got a message from my ex/"love of my life". Female friend took it to principal. Love of my life will get in major trouble and blame me. Currently awaiting the storm of crap. |
t3_37w9b1 | relationships | Me [22 M] Wish to break up with my Girlfriend [21 F], but im unsure how to minimize damage of breakup | My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year. During this time, I went back to school for 8 months, and now that ive come back for the summer, I have noticed things about her that i havent before (EG She wants me around constantly, Everything is about her, being very naive, and Little selfish things) Ive also noticed that she doesnt share my sense of humor at all. Problem is, She says she loves me, as is full on loves me, and im disliking her mroe and more... She wont break up with me, So im gonna have to break up with her.
So reddit, any advice on how to break up with someone? | I want to break up, but i also want to minimize damage done due to breakup. |
t3_2gjmxg | relationships | My [24F] step-dad [44M] got into a motorcycle accident. How can I help? | Sunday evening, my step-dad ("Joe") was in a motorcycle accident. Although he has only been in our lives for 6 years, he has been the most positive male influence that my sister [18F] and I have had. When we learned about the wreck, my sister and I drove 8 and 11 hours, respectively, to come see him.
I am glad I could be here for Joe as he goes into his multiple surgeries, but I am worried about what will happen when my sister and I leave at the end of the week. Joe is a tech-savy ex-marine who loves to socialize, but for the next 12 weeks he will be on bedrest/wheelchair bound and without use of both arms (insert joke here, I get it). Mom and Joe live in the middle of nowhere, and she won't be able to leave him for extended periods of time. What are things I can do this week that will help make things easier in the coming months? | step-dad involved in motorcycle accident, I am looking for suggestions/advice for helping with the recovery process. |
t3_3wf4yp | tifu | TIFU by driving my dad's car | As a 17 year old boy im really interested in driving (driving age where i live is 18) especially when im the youngest in my grade, and most my friends already got their license or are doing their driving lessons. Today my whole family went on a trip except for me since i had to study, and they too my mom's car since its bigger. So my teenage brain thought it would be a good idea to try to drive my dad's car. After i fond the car keys i went into the car and left the garage, i didnt want to kill myself so i didnt wonder around and just parked the car in. Basically im attempting to park the car properly so it's not tilted and doesnt look like i was playing around with the car, on one of attempts i accidentally bumped the car, didnt think much about it since it was a pretty weak bump, after a couple more times i finally do a decent parking. As im exiting the car i notice some water on the garage floor, thats when i realized i fucked up, when i bumped the car it turned out a bumped a hose and broke the water pipe. Water was flooding everywhere and i didnt know what to do, i tried closing every water tank in my house yet the water is still flooding. I had no choice but to call my dad (who was already pissed because im not studying), he called the plumber to come fix it. Water was flooding for probably a good 45 mins ( idk how many gallons i wasted) the plumber fixed the mess and i went back to "studying". anyway i told mydad the truth and he forgave me but he prob wont leave car keys in the house. The story is kind off anticlimactic but fuck it. | tried to drive my dad's car, broke a water pipe and flooded the garage. |
t3_17bly6 | AskReddit | Well, cellular unlocking becomes illegal today for all "new" devices. Can Reddit help take back our rights? | There's a fly in the ointment, shit's hit the fan, the lion will speak!
Ok not really, but according the the amendment to the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) unlocking any cellular device sold in the USA starting today, is now punishable by a hefty fine and even prison (if unlocking for monetary gain) The issue lies in the carriers stating that when we buy a phone, we don't technically own the software within it, only the rights to use a copy of it and thus they want to be able to control the way that device is used.
There is a petition floating around to try to overturn the ruling, there are just over 13,000 signatures of the 100,000 target. Now while this petition isn't a for sure way to get unlocking legalized again, it's a start.
If this is something that might affect you, please take a minute to sign it and pass it on. If not, that's ok too have a great day!
[PETITION](
This is a self post, so no Karma involved. Please upvote :D | Unlocking new phones is not illegal, sign this petition! |
t3_13w5qq | AskReddit | As a former gold star lesbian who is currently dating a man, I think that some (keyword: some) lesbians truly just haven't found the right guy. Reddit, what are some other politically incorrect/offensive things that have been verified by your experience? | Before you get too mad, let me clarify. I do NOT think this is true of all or even most lesbians: I just wonder, based on my own experience.
I used to be your standard shaved-head dyke, complete with a tie collection and a chip on my shoulder. I'd been tripping gaydars since I was 11. About two years ago, I met an extremely sweet and unassuming guy. I was drawn to him because he lacked the machismo innate to plenty of men, but had the emotional depth I like about women. He never asked for anything nor put an ounce of pressure on me (even though I could see how into me he was), which I think is why I ended up sleeping with him.
And...lo and behold, I loved it. Unlike the other experiences I had with men, which had been prohibitively awkward and unenjoyable, this was freaking awesome. We've been dating since, and I've never had a better partner, emotionally or sexually. Prior to this experience, I could have never imagined myself with any guy I'd met.
Maybe he's a one of a kind, I'm not sure. All I know is that I used to only think about women and now I have a more open mind. I had always found men to be extremely off-putting. Now I realise that there are certain qualities about male culture that turn me off, but that not all men are this way. I simply had a misconception.
I'm wondering how many others there are like me out there. | I thought i was a 6 on the Kinsey scale until I met a sweetheart with a penis. So what other "myths" actually might have some basis in reality? |
t3_2k74m7 | legaladvice | Ordered custom furniture, company won't produce product. (KY) | I ordered furniture from a local shop here in KY that is a reseller for Klaussner (out of SC). Ordered custom sofa / loveseat on Aug. 2. We were told 5-6 weeks. 12 weeks later we have no clear answer on when to expect it. We've been given the run around from the owner since week 4. We paid in full (with a check) when we placed the order. We have no contract, nothing in writing (other than a receipt), no money, and no furniture. Turns out the company has an F grade from BBB, and is in bad standing with the KY Secretary of State. | How long do you give a company before asking for your money back on custom made items that missed the verbal deadline? Or is it better to just take them to small claims and let the court sort it out? |
t3_27dkxj | relationships | How do I [19 F] get over my [19 M] flatmate without having to move out or cause more tension | We were kinda (it's the best word) going out (we were exclusive but we were never official, I think he called us a thing once) for 2 months.
Due to confusion in the beginning stage of the relationship that just was recently brought to light, we have ended it (his decision).
I still really like him, and wish we weren't apart, but us being together it seems isn't going to happen any time soon, so getting over him is the next best thing.
I can't hate him, he is far to similar to me and shares all my characteristics, attitudes and most interests.
Making things harder- he also still likes me and gets incredibly jealous easily.
I want a way to get over him that isn't going to make him upset, or cause more tension between each other as we have to live together for another 6 months.
The quicker I can get over him the better. | Need to get over my flatmate as soon as possible, delicate situation |
t3_3ge62o | relationships | I [24M] met a girl [17F] and have some problems | Hello, not a native english speaker, sorry for my english.
So i met a girl let's say Ilonka. We talked a lot on facebook, after that she says that she wants to meet me so i said okay. She said that we should see each other the next day, so i said okay please just text me because i have some things to do, (it was saturday) so if you cant come it's okay just tell me so i know. i stayed at home because well i thought that she would text me, etc. She didn't, when it was i think in the evening i texted her and she said that she forgot she's sorry,etc , i told her that she should;ve text me because almost all my day was gone, and i was kinda upset, and it's not okay not to text someone when you said that you will, and it's not okay to forgot some things.
Well, everything was okay, we met once, etc. Today she asked me if we could meet again, i said okay, she told me she would text me, i asked when, she said: later. okay, it was almost midnight and no text. she send me a text on facebook about which picture should she use for her profile pic. i was like what the heck you didn't text me nothing, and now from nowhere you asked me about some picture. I was kind of upset, she said she sorry, didnt give me a reason why she didnt text. i told her that when she's grow up she should text me. She goes kinda insane and told me that i should think before telling something and that she forgive me about what i just said.
Am i the asshole? Am i in the wrong side? i really need some opinions because i don't know if i'm right or wrong. It was too hard the sentence about growing up? thank you | met a girl she said she would text me before me met, she didn't (twice), and i am kinda upset. |
t3_3i7d7c | running | I'm afraid I've messed up my race. | So, I am training for my first half marathon on Sept. 20. My only goals for this race are to finish and to hopefully do it in under 2.5 hours.
So far, training has gone pretty well. Up until yesterday. Yesterday's long run was 10 miles. I have 2 kids and my husband is a restaurant manager and works opposite shifts from me. He had to work at noon yesterday so the only opportunity I had to get my long run done was yesterday morning. It was raining, but I just couldn't handle the idea of 10 miles on the treadmill at the Y, so I went for it.
Ouch.
Everything was fine for the first 6 miles or so, but after that the blisters between my big and second toes on each foot made themselves known. I think the pain of the blisters made me change my stride.
Now, not only do I have blisters that hurt every time I take a step but I have near excruciating pain along the outside of my right foot.
I feel like I've ruined everything. I can barely walk. How am I going to get my runs in this week? Let alone 11 miles this weekend if this doesn't stop. I screwed up and have no extra time built into my schedule. I have just enough weeks for an 11 mile, 12 mile, taper week, and then race.
How would you proceed? I really want to be able to run this whole race and I feel like I'm either going to be injured or under trained. | My foot hurts. |
t3_2xojm2 | relationships | I (18/M) confused if I did something wrong with friend (18/F) | Right so me and my (girl) best friend were chatting via text, and she started getting flirty and put '<3 <3 <3 xxxxxx' at the end of all the messages, at first I thought is she joking around or..... But in fact it became consistent. That ending is what she always uses with her boyfriend but this time she sent it to me (multiple times).
After this I questioned her casually as to why all the hearts and kisses. All she said was 'oh I didn't mean to send them' and I just questioned her saying 'what multiple times?' and then she just said 'BRB nap time' and that was it.
I didn't message her after and still haven't since (been 3 days). At school she has totally ignored me and has been in a bad mood - Even my friends pointed it out.
Am I in the wrong for asking? Or what cause I was just curious, it wasn't a big deal, or have I now made it a big deal? Also when should I message her again or should I leave it for a while? Thanks guys and girls for reading :) | girl sent me 'hearts and kisses' and I questioned it, now she is annoyed and ignoring me! |
t3_3h7l8e | tifu | TIFU By thinking a picture was actually Reddit | So I only discovered Reddit a few months ago, although I'd heard about it for years, I had feared the impending addiction, as oft happens to me when I discover a new website, so I abstained, until recently.
You can all remember when you first arrived here, it can be confusing, well, it was for me. And took a good ~~week~~ month of casual browsing to start to get to grips with everything, and trust me I'm still not there.
So anyway, since, in a moment of ill-gotten self belief that I can somehow fix computers when the power socket on my laptop had finally divorced all lust for the jack on the charger, and I took it apart piece by piece, until all that was left was dust, I have been forced to use my SO's bright pink tablet to peruse the web.
Now, about three weeks ago, whenever I opened Reddit (usually as soon as she goes to bed, or when the soaps are on), there is a prompt to switch to 'mobile theme'. I tried it once, but as I had only just got used to the desktop format, I really couldn't be arsed re-learning.
So in the last few days I'd discovered more things like 'save' and such (I know, I know, but give a guy a break, I'm 42, not as tech savvy as you young whippersnappers) and found that because I was using the desktop version on a tablet, things weren't conforming properly, so I decided to find an app.
Went to Google play, clicked on the first app that came up and checked out the screenshots.
This is the FU.
I got into the [screenshot] so much that I forgot it was a screenshot and thought it was Reddit, and hence, when I wanted to find out how to bandage a finger without it turning round, and the screen was non responsive, I started cursing my GF's tablet and tapping the screen like a petulant child trying to get any thread to open, until I must have swiped, and it took me to another screenshot to the right.
At which point I felt like a proper fucking idiot. | As a newbie I've become so obsessed with Reddit I thought a screenshot of it in Google play was actually Reddit. |
t3_1jdypg | relationship_advice | [M,22] My Ex (F,20) broke our one month no contact to invite me to her house warming party | So we dated for about 9 months and everything was absolutely perfect until her housemate told her he had feelings for her. I suspected she did too before they talked but I didn't think it a big deal/didn't want to be the overbearing bf that tells his gf who she can and can't be friends with...but she gambled away our long relationship on some guy she "would never forgive herself for not trying with." I told her she was making a mistake and it won't end well but she left me anyway. They dated for a month and she said she "saw the writing on the wall" so when they broke up, we got back together. We dated again for a while but she said she didn't feel as attracted to me; she said she loves me but isn't in love with me. She left for vacation and the night we were supposed to hang out when she got back I got too drunk at her work and she was livid (she got some very traumatic news at her vacation she was going to tell me about that night but she was too pissed to tell me). So she wanted to take a break for a week, give me some time to clean up my act, she tells me that the break made her realize she didn't want to be in any relationship. I said I wanted to wait at least a month before we start hanging out again but 2 weeks in, she invites me to her house warming party. She said she would understand if it's too soon and that she wouldn't be hurt or take it personally if I didn't come but the invite is there. SO...should I go or should I not? | gf of 10 months+ left me for the second time and I'm pissed/hurt after everything we went through for her to leave me again but I miss her. A big part of me still loves her and wants to see her; the other part is telling me "f@ck her, do what you said you would do and not talk to her for a few more weeks." |
t3_qg0i5 | AskReddit | Awoke at 6 AM today to the police at the door with a warrant for my wife... how was your morning? | She'd been ticketed for speeding and went down to the Clerk to pay it off the day before her court date. At that time, she was told the ticket could not be found in their system (had not been filed). She explicitly told the clerk she didn't want this to turn into a warrant but he waved off her concerns and stamped the ticket slip to prove she'd appeared. He told her she'd get a 30 day extension and handed her a number to call the following Monday (2 days after court date on ticket). She calls... they take her info and hang up on her. She calls back - no answer. We both have really busy work schedules and we have a 10-month old so getting to the court isn't that easy (especially TWICE), but she planned on going back to the County Clerk on her next free weekday. But instead, this morning two officers showed up to arrest her. We were allowed to pay off the ticket\warrant but now we're concerned she has that on her record. Any help good law people of Reddit? | Wife tried to pay a ticket but they couldn't find it... so instead they issued a warrant for her |
t3_1yycoc | relationships | (25/M) Cousins found my ladyboner-gw posts and will probably tell family members. How should I handle it at the next get-together if they do? | Don't know how but two "second" cousins (22/F, 20/F) of mine found my username and post history, largely mundane with a few exceptions. They let me know through a drawn out, passive-aggressive text conversation today. They've historically been royal cunts in terms of gossiping and spreading what should be private information unnecessarily, which has sometimes resulted in awkward conversations for "life guidance" from extended Indian family. I'll be seeing them along with a ton of other family in a week or so... I hardly give a fuck for myself because I can handle it, but I don't want my own family to get harassed with any awkward or embarassing questions.
Any tips?
thanks | Shithead cousins saw me naked on the internet and will likely tell extended family. What do? |
t3_21cnk3 | relationships | Meeting new people and miscellaneous feelings that I need advice on. Me m21 | Recently I went through a rough break up and im trying to move on. Im also trying to get out of my depression or at least get it under control.
I honestly need friends. I only have a few. I live in a state where not a lot goes on. I live in Michigan and I dont know how to meet people. Where would I even start? Ive done dating sites and they aren't doing it for me. Half the people I message never respond and im generally not interested in anyone else either.
Im also trying to really find myself. Ive come such a long way but im lacking a social life. It might also be why im having a difficult time with the breakup because I latched on to her even as she's currently moving on and talking to other guys.
Im trying to figure out how to make myself happy as well. Im currently at a book store and getting out isn't really making me happy. What can I do to make myself happy with me. Because until im happy with myself, im only going to have heartache and poor relationships. | im looking to meet new people and hopefully build strong relationships, either friendships or romantic relationships. But I dont know how to be happy with myself anymore. Nothing I do seems to be working. |
t3_29few3 | relationships | What should I [19/M] say to my [18/F] friend? | I cut someone out of my life and now I'm regretting it. I've known this girl since grade 7. We've never been truly close, but she's always been good to me. This pass March she insisted on throwing me a birthday party. I know that sounds amazing, and it is, but for some reason I couldn't help but wonder why someone who I haven't been close with, would throw me a birthday party? that's when I began to question her motives. I know that sounds ungrateful, and I admit it was, but we had a very unconventional friendship. I'd essentially pay her money for her to allow me to fondle her feet. I couldn't help but wonder if the only reason she was throwing me the party, was because she pitied me or because she felt obligated to because I'd given her money. No matter what the reason, I felt guilty. Even if it was simply because she was being a good friend to me, I still feel guilty because I questioned her friendship. | I cut someone out of my life and now I'm regretting it. What should I say to convince her I'm sorry? |
t3_4f4gzi | needadvice | Should I stay where I'm at or move out west now | Some background on me: I'm a 22y/o guy, I have a couple years worth of college credits but no degree. I'm dropping out of school because I'd rather become a plumber, I've spent a few summers helping my friends dad who's a water well driller and I occasionally assist my buddy when he works on his car, point is I like physical labor
I'm currently living in a city that's about an hour away from where I grew up, this area is all very familiar for me which is why I want to get away from this place. I want to live and experience a new place while pursuing a career I'll actually enjoy. The new location is Eugene, Oregon.
However, 2 months ago, I signed a year long lease, so I'd have to find a replacement roommate AND I'm on the east coast so Oregon is pretty far away and finding an apprenticeship from this distance seems very daunting. Yet, living here feels like I'm just spinning my wheels, because I don't want to be committed to the place I've grown up for another 5 years(assuming I
landed an apprenticeship where I'm at now) I also don't think just waiting for the lease to run out is a good decision either because then I'm just waiting around for something to happen. BTW My roommates are alright people, I don't have a problem with them. | Do I try to find an apprenticeship online and move asap or do I wait it out for another 8 months? |
t3_1ss0f5 | relationships | Me [32 F] with [30 M] 9 months, 2 days ago "I love you", this evening "we have no future" | We were together for 9 months. I came over for our usual evening and he tells me that we have no future. He's wants to move sometime soon. He wants to live with me but he doesn't think he can ever tolerate living with cats (I have 2) because he has allergies (super mild) and they're "dirty".
Whenever I've brought them over to stay the weekend at his place (per his request) he's obsessed with playing with them. He tries to get them to curl up and sleep on him. Last weekend he even joked that because they were in his apartment, they were now his.
He tried to get me to sit and talk to him but I didn't see the point. He'd already made his decision. I just went numb and packed up all the stuff I'd left over there. I thnk I'm coming out of my shock because now I can't stop crying.
The kitties keep me from killing myself when things get bad. | BF blindsided me with breaking up. Seems to have sudden dislike of my cats. |
t3_hccnt | loseit | Losing weight and getting fit while constantly on the road? | I am wondering if anyone out there in /r/loseit are in the same boat I am. I am most likely taking a consulting position where I will be on the road most of the time. This will usually be Sunday-Friday gigs and I will be doing them 2-3 weeks out of the month on the norm.
I have lost 26 pounds from my peak which I put on starting during my internship during school and continuing through my current position. I attribute my 268 pound peak to a combination of sloth and poor diet choices.
I lost the 26 pounds through diet control mostly but I have also put on a lot of muscle through weight training. Currently I am strictly doing 5x5 routine 3 days a week and starting to get my diet under control again after my wife and I recently had our first son.
I recently had my first take of life on the road, and although rewarding from a career perspective I found it hard to control what I was eating like before and getting to the gym was more than a challenge. Breakfast was easy since I had oatmeal from the hotel's continental breakfast.
I will be working with co-workers at client sites for the next few weeks, but after that I will be flying solo.
My thought on fitness was to buy a set of resistance bands and start doing p90x instead of my 5x5 routine when I am on the road. If there is a suitable gym available I will do SL5x5, but most hotel gyms don't have free weights. I absolutely abhor running and I think I am still a bit too heavy to do any sort of distance jogging for fear of hurting my knees. Currently I weight 243. Recent low before my son was born was 237.
For diet I had a couple of ideas. If the hotel room includes a small kitchen, I could always buy groceries and cook for myself. I could make a single grocery shopping trip when I fly in. If I am eating out I could pretty much stick to lean protein or something like subway. If I eat mainstream fast food it is pretty easy to track calories albeit not at all healthy.
Do you guys have any thoughts? | Taking job where I will be on the road. Any ideas for workout/diet to continue losing weight? |
t3_41xn0c | relationships | Me [23 M] had been dating [22F] for about 6 months. I cut things off because I was starting to feel trapped. Its been 4 months and I miss her still. Did I make a mistake?? | We dated for 6 months, she was incredible, we matched in every single way. But honestly, I started to get bored. I had so many experiences and life lessons to offer her, but she never really seemed to have the same thing to offer me (she is from a small farming town and didn't adventure much in her adolescence). I wasn't learning from her while we were dating, and I was starting to a feel a little trapped... Like I could already see our future just 6 months in. Additionally, she was scared to constructively criticize me and that is something I really seek in a partner. So I cut things off, kind of suddenly in her eyes, but I had thought about it for a couple weeks.
To be complete though, I never really talked to her about what I wish she would do differently, I just kind of wanted to date someone that I was fluent with in that way--maybe that is too high of an expectation? I just know the feeling of someone pressuring you to be someone that you're not.
We had no communication for 4 months besides a few random snapchats here and there. I still miss her, and have spent an awful amount of time pondering what if...
What do you think /r/relationships? Did make the right call by calling it off, or do you think I should have tried. Should I trust my old self or put more faith in the way I currently feel? It may not be too late for me too call her and try to turn this around. | Dated for 6months, I cut things off because I didn't feel I was learning anything from her, where she was only learning things from me (she is from a small town). I was starting to feel trapped, that I could already see the future of our relationship unfold. Aside from that, we connected on every level. We had no contact besides a few snaps for 4 months and I still miss her. I am not sure if I should trust my old self and the way I felt then, or trust the person I am feeling now... |
t3_1hbn7v | legaladvice | The renters from hell and a shitty property management company. | Basically I live in Florida, and my family owns a second house which we rent out for extra income. We go through a property management company for this, in order to "theoretically" make things easier on ourselves. Unfortunately, we happen to employ the worst property management company in the history of the world. Multiple times the tenants have been late on rent, and the property management company does nothing about it. In their contract they're supposed to handle any repairs that need to be done/talk to the tenants. Any time there's something wrong, my parents are the first ones called by the tenant, and are usually the ones who take care of repairs because the property management company doesn't do anything. We've had countless problems with these tenants, on top of them being terrible about paying on time they've tried to start legal trouble for us a few times as well. If anyone's interested I can go more in detail, but for now Ill move on. We decided back in March that we were tired of the renters being shitty people and we were kicking them out. We have them 90 days notice (way more than the legally required amount of time), and told them to get out. A week before the deadline they say they can't move into another house until July, so we say pay up front you can stay a month. They end up paying up front so were set for them to move out. However yesterday we get a call from the property management company saying they won't be moving out until August. Why? The property management company had them sign the wrong lease on accident. Legally we can't force them out of the house. However, we can sue the property management company. My parents aren't willing to do that however do to excessive legal fees. Do you guys think we have a case? How much could we be in the hole for on legal fees? Any advice is welcomed. | Property management company has tenants sign the wrong lease, they get to stay a month longer than we agreed on. |
t3_d883p | AskReddit | Atheist...ethics...? | I'm trying to understand the atheist's view of ethics. It seems to me, what "good" is is ultimately what is good for the society, what will progress the society and keep the society running. If this is so, how does moral relativism play into the picture? With a large group of people you are obviously going to get some one who doesn't think the same way as someone else. That seems to be regressive in terms of the progression of human society. I'm genuinely interested so don't be a dick with your answers...actually most of the funny comments are when people are dbags so carry on. | I have no idea how to sum that one up. Guess you will just have to read it. |
t3_1fg87r | needadvice | I have have severe work anxiety and don't know how to (or if I even should) approach it to my new boss. | So, as I've mentioned briefly in other posts, I have some really severe work anxiety. I tend to work myself up to the point of physical illness. This happens not because I don't want to be there, but just the opposite. I want so badly to do well and succeed. Unfortunately, this leads to paranoia that I'm not doing well and not impressing my fellow coworkers and boss.
I've usually kept this under wraps with my employers because I'm embarrassed and don't want to seem weak. But not informing my employers has backfired on me and I've been let go several times because of this.
I just started a new job yesterday and think it'll be a great fit for my personality and lifestyle. I really want to succeed here and impress the staff. But again, my anxiety is kicking in and I had a panic attack after work.
My mother thinks I should inform my new boss about the issue and help her help me cope. I have a few coping mechanisms, including getting lots of feedback on my work so I can improve and get comfortable. If I know I'm doing okay and getting positive feedback, I think I'll be less stressed.
What do you think? If I do approach the issue, I'm going to first say that I appreciate the opportunity and am truly thrilled to be a part of the team. I want her to know that I will need some guidance in the beginning, but if I'm standing around observing that I'm not trying to slack off; I'm just absorbing the information.
I wanted this job so badly that I turned away other offers so I would be able to start immediately. I'm just so scared of fucking up and failing again. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give. | Severe work anxiety has unfortunately impaired my work environments in the past, causing me to be let go. I have a new job that I'm thrilled about and don't know how to address my problem, or even if I should. I don't want to fuck up and fail again. |
t3_2eq4px | relationships | Girlfriend [F, 19] broke up with me [M, 22], doesn't stop texting me | A quick preface so you can understand. My ex?, has always been quite adventurous and has cheated on several partners in the past, however that changed when she met me she said she had changed and that things we're better this way.
We had a pretty stable relationship until two days ago when out of the blue she told me she had almost cheated on me, and that she wanted to break up because she wanted to sleep with other people, so she could feel alive again, and have more stories to tell.
I wasn't expecting this, nonetheless I accepted it and tried to move on. But she has been trying to get in touch with me, because she thinks we can still be friends, I try to not answer her texts and when I do so it is in a succint manner, I'm still hurting pretty bad...
Today she texted me again refering that a band I really enjoyed and showed her was playing on the radio, and that she was going to move stuff into her new house today. I replied with a simple "great.", to which she replied "wow...", as if being hurt by my behaviour.
What am I supposed to do, reddit? | Ex-Girlfriend wants to be with other people, still texts me, as if nothing changed in our relationship. |
t3_ajrc0 | AskReddit | Atheist redditors with religious families: how/when did you tell them? What was the aftermath like? | Background: I was born and raised Catholic, and somewhere around the beginning of high school I began the downwards slide from Catholic to sort of vaguely Christian to agnostic to atheist. However, I've held off on telling my family (mom's side is catholic, dad's side is methodist, everyone is pretty religious). I'm not too worried about my parents' reactions, since they're A) pretty chill in most regards and B) my parents. However, I'm hesitant to "come out of the closet", as it were, because I don't know how my extended family would react. I wish they had an atheist family friend so that I could see how they'd react to it (acceptance, attempts at conversion, firm belief that they're going to hell, etc), but I really have zero evidence on how my family would deal with atheists. I'm kind of planning on waiting until I'm living on my own to deal with it (freshman in college now) since I'd be more insulated from any bad fallout. Since there's obviously potential for quite a bit of conflict and it's not terribly hard to keep up the pretense that I'm Catholic, I'm inclined to just live with the status quo for now. On the other hand, I hate having to live out this fakeness, and would much rather everyone knew about and accepted my beliefs. | Raised Catholic but am atheist, universally religious family doesn't know, unsure of whether to tell them and risk drama or just keep pretending. |
t3_1rkvdl | relationships | (M31)y wi(f28)e is incredibly demanding and sometimes it makes me resentful. | I spose the title is a little misleading. For the most part I'm happy to do what I can. However there are days when it's just BAM BAM BAM BAM and it's all I can do to say "Yes dear" and hold my breath on the rest. It's nothing big really - take out the bins, mow the lawn etc. Like I said, nothing I'm not happy to do or wouldn't get around to without being prompted, it's just the prompting that gets me.
It just concerns me that my natural response (resentment) (which is not always, just when I'm tired and feeling criticised) may breed more negativity, and I'm wondering if there's a way to communicate some sort of pacing? Without having to crack and go off about it?
Further, some of the things are, in my mind, a little hypocritical. Like, cutting down time I spend with my friends when she would (and has) felt hurt when my friends have asked me to put them first before. And occasionally her paranoia extends into and she accuses me of cheating on her when the reality of the fact is mostly I just want space to myself. | It's not very long really. I don't know. I think I'm mostly venting, but advice on how to tactfully approach this would be appreciated. |
t3_2k8vwq | relationships | Am I [20F] a rebound [27M/8months]? | My boyfriend [27M] and I [20F] started dating at the beginning of the year. He's amazing and wonderful and I love him. But I'm worried that I might be a rebound. He broke up with his last girlfriend who he dated for a two years and lived with a few weeks before we started dating. She's gorgeous and smart. I'm worried because she and I seem so different. I was 19 when we started dating and she's his age. She's got an amazing job and I'm an art student. He doesn't talk about her. I think she broke up with him. When one of his friends came to visit his friend asked my boyfriend about his ex because he didn't know that they'd broken up! Plus my boyfriend has had lunch with his ex since she moved to the city where we live. I'm afraid he's going to break up with me to get back together with her. Am I rebound? | Love my boyfriend but I'm worried I'm a rebound |
t3_21n0fr | relationships | Well here I am again | So to make a long stroy shorter, I've(F23) been with guy A(M60) for about 2 years, he's well off, we travel, I live well, am content... except he's not well and thus we don't have much of a sex life and he's older so we kind of have opposite views on things, but he is a good guy and he does care about me.
Guy B(M42?), steps in one day, we start talking, and we really hit it off, I mean like beyond perfect for each other, I'm upfront about my relationship, we're cool, we're work friends, but there are definitely sparks, then one week guy B looks like hell, and says he's just working something out and doesn't talk to me for a week and then comes up today, happy to see me and cheerful and just how delicious like he always is, and anyway, he walks me out of work today, and we chat a bit, and hes been a crush for since I first layed eyes on him, we huged and kissed on the cheek, today, (we've had frined hugs before)and he was touchy, and good god I liked it, I wanted it, but I really cant get caught, like I have no family and nowhere to go and if guy A finds out any of this my ass might as well be gone.
So any experts out there on having your cake and eating it too, advice?
Yes I know I'm a bad person and I'm going to hell, but I'm only human, just looking for perspective... | I'm in a relationship and basically in love with someone else |
t3_3xej0d | relationships | Me [22 M] with my GF [22 F] 7 months, gets pissed when I asked her about a guy liking every photo | Long story short, I looked at who liked my girlfriends last photo and saw this guy that has liked literally every photo of her that I'm not in. We are quite close and know pretty much everyone that each of us talk to but I never heard of him. Communication is the best policy so if anything is on my mind at all, I like to bring it up. So I calmly brought it up to her, not even questioning her in any form, but just telling her jokingly that i saw how comical and obvious his thoughts were. Liking all 30 photos over 9 months, minus the couple that i'm in.
Her response was basically: "You're being psycho! Why are you creeping who likes my photos? You're actually being a psycho. Who cares who likes my photos? I don't creep you. This is called jealousy and you need to stop it." then she had to go so this pretty much stopped there.
Was I jealous or insecure? A possibility, but the reason I'm posting this is not because of the guy, but because of her response. The guy is NOT my problem here. Guys will be guys. The problem is why would she care what I look at on her social media? Is that a normal response? Sure, she might be mad if she thought I was digging for something but this is not something weeks or months old here. She literally posted the photo earlier today and I saw it now and checked who liked it (of her friend who's she's fighting with, of my friends, of guys, of anyone because I generally know them all).
Maybe I should have just shut my mouth and ignored the guy, but that ship has sailed. I want to know what you think of her response to me asking. | GF gets quite pissed when I asked about a guy loyally liking every photo without me. Is this normal? |
t3_2gufca | relationship_advice | (F/20)Raped by an ex-boyfriend: Trauma is influencing my current boyfriend (M/23) of 1YR. Help! | I "unknowingly" *(I didn't identify it as rape, but only realized on hindsight.)* got raped on a constant basis by my ex-boyfriend. I loved him, but sex was usually forced or non-consensual. It was pretty horrible. Back then I blamed it on myself for not being to satisfy his desire or my libido.
Anyway we've broken up; Met this amazing person soon after. Nothing short of amazing. Sex is pretty amazing.. *most of the time.*
There's absolutely nothing wrong now and I don't think about the traumatic experience anymore, but at very random intervals it hits me and I become very cold and distant.
Just the other day, my currrent boyfriend asked to hold my hand. I don't know why but I started having this meltdown, cried and just felt really "violated" in the general sense of things.
During sex, I'm just as erratic. I'm into really rough sex, but sometimes I feel emotionally hurt afterwards and I cry. Sometimes I'd feel horny, but once my boyfriend tries to make an advancement I immediately shy away and don't want it anymore. Other times, things are completely fine.
It's not just sex. When he's really sweet and caring, at times I feel like it's really short lived and i start acting all weird again. This only started when we began having sex.
I honestly can't make any sense of it at all. After thinking about it and talking to my boyfriend about it, i believe the cause is the trauma from the past.
**What can I do to stop or regulate this?** I'm thinking about therapy, but what else can I do from day to day? My current boyfriend is very understanding, but at the same time i believe it probably hurts him to have to deal with this.
Also, just wondering..
**Men, how would you feel if you were in my boyfriend's current circumstance? | Got raped by ex, trauma is influencing current relationship and making my behaviour/attitude towards him erratic. |
t3_13cdta | relationships | Help me 27m make amends with 31f. | I dont even know if I want to tell the whole story on here because it's so personal. I dont meet with my therapist until wed so I have a couple options. Cry and wonder, or reach out for help.
I messed up and said some things that may have damaged the relationship between her and her tween daughter. The daughter has already had a hard life with 2 fathers ditching her, her mom is the only person she has that cares about her (besides grandparents). I was showing interest and helping the daughter learn how to program and design games. I feel like I was an awesome roll model and wanted to become her step dad if not adopt her completely to transition out of the last name of the guy who wants nothing to do with her. When things went down hill with me and her mom, I said things to the daughter about the mom that I shouldn't have.
I've sent her money to take her daughter on a flight and stay out in Monterey and visit the aquarium. She's so mad I'm not even sure if she plans on going.
I'm doing everything I can, sending flowers, saying I'm sorry, but it's almost like she thinks I don't mean it, or that I dont understand the gravity of the situation. I dont sleep at night I feel so much guilt, and if I do, I'm up at 4am in a cold sweet, turning over to see she's not there.
How do I make this right? I'll take however long, and spend every penny I have and write 1000's of apology notes if I have too.
Is there anything that would stand out to any parents our there to help make fix this or to move forward from it? I wont quit, it's just not who I am. | I did something wrong to my family. I love her, I love the kids and I'm not afraid to take the time and do the things needed to get them back. |
t3_18ennt | AskReddit | What is the biggest misconception you, or someone you know, had about sex growing up? | This is maybe on the weirder end of the spectrum, but I feel like confusion is common. Freshman year of high school and I'm on a bus to a track meet. Two of the cooler kids are sitting behind me, in graphic discussion about their pornography preferences. I'm pretending to be listening to music, hanging on their every word. I got caught with my parents' book of sex positions in fourth grade, and since had been too mortified to explore.
Anyway, these guys are getting into some pretty heavy fetish ish, and I'm rapt with attention. Then one of them says, "yeah man, I just love it when they go at it with saws." Fast forward two years, and I'm a pretty avid pornoisseur. I'm still horrified that I'll accidentally stumble upon some of this fuckin' saw porn. It takes four years and me being high to finally realize that the dudes were being sarcastic. | Saw VII on Pornhub |
t3_3muhpe | relationships | Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 5½ years, just broke up | My boyfriend and I, had our rough patches and especially the last 6 months has been hell. None of us has been happy and our weekends consisted mostly of serious conversations about how we could make things work and things got better for a day and then it was the same old. I think we have grown apart..
I have been having doubts about our relationship for a long time and started to think i might be better off. I started blaming my self for having these stupid thoughts and tried everything to convince myself that something was wrong with me..
Then these last 3 weeks has been to hell and back. I would randomly start crying because im so unhappy and full of guilt and then we would talk and eventhough i told him that i wanted to leave him, he always talked me into staying and it helped because we still love eachother.
However this morning it happend. I was actually on my way out to go to school and then i just started crying. I realized I couldnt go on like this and i txted him to come home we need to talk. He knew what was up and we sat down and had an honest talk.
It was the hardest thing i have ever tried. But he agreed with me and we it was a huge relief for both of us.
Now i am just.. heartbroken. I know deep down that this is the best thing to do. But I cant stop crying and sometimes a thought that says "maybe it could work" come crawling into my mind and i get even more sad.. Its just so sad to sit and cry and hug eachother because we still love eachother, but we have grown too much apart. We are just too different..
I guess I just need to get this off my chest. Right now it feels like im going to die, i wouldnt wish this for my worst enemy. is it really the right thing to do ?? im so lost.. | Relationship went downhill, We tried to save it, but we grew apart, we agree on breaking up, but we still love eachother, so it hurts even more. Will i ever move on? Was it the right thing to do? |
t3_3b49fb | personalfinance | Need advice for renting in the East Bay Area and my current savings plan | Hey guys!
I am 27 years old and after some health issues and being unemployed, I now am living rent-free with family in the outer East Bay. I have lived with them for over a year and while they are happy to have me, I want a plan to move out in the near future (next 6 months max).
I currently make almost exactly $100k gross (~5000 net monthly) with no medical benefits (contract worker). Since I have been living rent-free I have so far:
Paid off all debts. Contributing 10% pre tax to 403(b) with annual increase of 1-2%. Contributing $400/month to max out Roth IRA contributions . Putting $500/month into liquid savings for emergency fund. Pay $475/month for health insurance which will soon decrease when I get new insurance. I have about $200-300/month in other monthly bills.
Currently I have $10,000 in checking, $1500 in emergency funds, $5000 in 403(b), and about $2000 in my Roth IRA.
So what monthly rent should I look at for living in a place in Oakland with roommates? My thoughts have been spending $1000-1500/month but since I have a dog and need a place with hardwood floors for allergies so this restricts me a bit. Should I go higher if need be or stay at my current parameter? And am I on a good track savings wise? | Make 100k gross, no debt, about 20k total money - what rent should I be looking at for living in Oakland in the near future and how is my savings plan? |
t3_4x63ij | relationships | F22 + M28. Should I bother waiting? | Hey guys, in case you dig through my post history, the update is that I found out the M28 I wanted to be in a relationship with - who admitted to having feelings for me - told me last week that he is not looking to date for a while, due to abusive relationships in his past (I do not think he is lying to get away from me, btw!).
So we ended it.
I still care about him, however, and was wondering if there is any hope? Should I be there for him as a friend once a few months have gone by? Should I just stop speaking to him forever (we're NC right now)? | Broke it off with kinda BF because he can't handle a relationship right now. Should I even bother holding out hope / trying to stay in his life? |
t3_3338mb | relationships | Me 18/M talking to 19/F, am I overthinking things after our first date? | So for the past week and a half almost I've been talking to this girl I met online, things are going great and we talk daily and we shared great conversations, have a lot of similar interests and views, and its going pretty fast it seems, which neither of us have a problem with. We kind of talked like we've known each other for years and just clicked really well with each other, and had not issues with being very open about questions asked.She seemed really awesome and caring, and are both comfortable with meeting within a week.
We have our first date yesterday, on Friday... I picked her up, we go back to my place, cuddle for a bit, watch a few movies, and I realized she was really what she seemed like. One thing led to another, then after things happened I took her back to her dorm. (I asked her about dating cause we both seem very interested in it, and she wanted to give it another date or 2 before making it official)
After I dropped her off, she told me to stay calm and not overthink things (she picked up real fast that I do), so I agree, and to text her when I get home, so I do, we talk a bit and we go to sleep after.
Now it is Saturday, I was aware that she was going to be busy with her family, and then drinking later in the night, and warned me that I shouldn't text her cause her responses wouldn't be appropriate and wanted to keep a good image in front of me (I didn't really care if she did or not), so I just shot her a good morning text around 9 in the morning, and then I went on with my day. It got around to 6 in the evening and I haven't heard anything, so I decide to text her, I get a response, we talk for a bit, and now nothing.
So my question is, am I overthinking things and should I be worried or should I just remain calm and let things play out and hope that Friday night wasn't just a one-night stand kind of thing? If I am overthinking things, what is a good way to distract myself from doing so that I don't worry and bother anyone with it? | Talking to a girl for a little over a week, we go on a date then I hear nothing the next day. Am I overthinking or not? |
t3_4frizz | relationships | I (22F) know that I love my SO (20M) of 3 months but I'm not sure if I should say anything yet | This is not my first serious relationship. I've been in love before and I've even been engaged before.
I know for sure that I love him and that it's no longer lust or the honeymoon phase, but I'm afraid that if I say it too soon I'll scare him off? As far as I know I'm his first serious relationship.
I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking about saying it every day, but I'm stopping myself. I'm afraid that I may accidentally say it, and it'll freak him out, since we haven't been dating for very long. I think he feels the same way, but I'm not 100% sure yet. The earliest I've ever said it was around 6 months into the relationship.
We know almost everything about each other, have met each others parents, and have talked some about the future.
What should I do? | I love him but I don't want to scare him off by saying it too early. |
t3_4566my | relationships | Me [M, 24] leaving program, not sure how to tell friends | I'm in a 6 year PhD program, and I'm lucky enough to have made a lot of good friends in an unfamiliar place. However, due to me realizing I didn't want a career in the field, I'm not sure when to tell the friends I've made that I've decided to leave the program (it's now official with the department head/my adviser). I haven't expressed a desire to leave the program to anyone, so it will definitely be a surprise to most. I'm leaving with a Master's degree in about 8 months, and I feel like if I tell them now it's premature, but if I wait I feel like I'm hiding it. There's also a stigma in our department about people who leave early, and I don't want to be "the guy who is about to leave" for the next 8 months. When is a good time to tell people? | I'm leaving my PhD program and am struggling with when to tell people |
t3_19cg3e | relationships | I feel detached and withdrawn from my father and I don't know why. Please help me understand. (17/F) | I'm 17/F. As far as I can remember, I've always had a normal relationship with my father, but I don't feel very close to him. He's always been a normal father, stern when he needs to be, never really over the top. He's really funny too, and I appreciate his sense of humor.
Sometimes, not recently though, when he was being stern or scolding me, I'd cower down and start crying like he was going to abuse me. He's never abused me as far as I can remember and he's never given me a reason to believe that he would.
Whenever I'm upset, and he tries to comfort me and hug me, I feel weird and detached. He tries to pray over me and I just feel strange. I also get irritated with him easily and tend to want to snap at him when he gets on my nerves.
Don't chalk me up as a disrespectful daughter, I just don't feel close to my father, and I don't know why. Does anybody have any insight? I hope this doesn't get buried. I need help understanding. | I feel detached from my father and as far as I know I have no justifiable reason to. |
t3_c7oih | AskReddit | Reddit, i have a year off. What would you do? | To long didn't read at bottom of post.
i'v just finished a degree in moddel making and in order to make it an honers degree i have to wait a year to do the 4th year.
I have a year to play with. I'm looking for ideas for what to do. i want some experience and I'd like to better myself. so I figured I'd come and ask the beautiful talented and intelligent people of reddit for their wisdom (see what i did there?).
So for the ones of you out there who have lived a bit: What things have you done in your life that your glad you did, what places have you traveled, what have you thought yourself that has stood to you, what projects have you under taken that you have really enjoyed?
If i can get money travailing would be great (but to where?)
ill be getting back into shape and taking up parkour again, i'm hoping to do a massage course (i'm good with my hands) and i was playing with the idea of trying to join Mensa(but i have no idea how hard it would be?).
I'd like to do a few projects with the time, ill be working on putting together a portfolio but i was hoping to maybe build a [CNC machine.] any other ideas you have I'd love to hear!
I figure this would be a great place to throw around ideas, I can't be the only person looking to better them selves and live a little. Would love to hear what you have to say :)
Thanks in advance! | I have a year of, what would you suggest i do? |
t3_2fdjy9 | relationships | Me [27 M] missed the whole dating phase and now I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a date this weekend. When do you hold hands, kiss, etc? I'm clueless, help! | So I met a girl when I was in college about 8 years ago and we were together for 7 years. About 8 months ago we split up and now I'm ready to see someone new. I have a date this weekend. The thing is, I haven't dated since high school and that's all I know about dating. I'm seeing this girl in a few days, and I have no idea how to carry myself. I'm a confident person and I really like her, but when is too soon to touch? To compliment her? Kiss? What's a good first date, a bad first date? Do we hold hands right away? I don't want to creep her out. In high school we just went to a cheap movie and made out. Seriously I am an adult now and have no idea what I'm doing. Help! | Haven't dated since high school, now a grown ass man and don't know what's normal for my date this weekend. I'm like Tom Hanks in Big. |
t3_4ivapa | legaladvice | [AZ] Landlord sold me a lease for an apt with a cable hookup, the wiring was a dummy and they won't fix | About a week and a half ago I signed a lease for an apartment in this current complex after having toured the complex twice, and I even inspected my actual apartment before signing the lease. Once I signed the lease, they told me to call my local ISP to have my coaxial cable jack activated so my own modem and router would start working.
After a few back and forth phone calls over a day or two with the ISP, I eventually followed the wiring through my apartment and noticed that it had actually been cut. Although the wire ended in a coax cable jack in my wall, and was visibly displayed and promised to be working, the wiring did not go anywhere.
I called apt management and they told me this was not a problem, that all the ISP had to do was drill new wiring into the apartment.
Finally the ISP man came to do just that, but was denied access by management because he couldn't provide 'panduit' or 'conduit' or some kind of paneling that ran on the outside of the house.
ISP tells me they have never provided this service, but MANAGEMENT tells me it's in their contract with the ISP. This has now been going on for over a week, and I've been tethered to my phone's hotspot on my gaming desktop, while still paying the ISP for services I am not receiving. Last call recently I was told apartment ownership is looking at getting their own attorneys involved to force the ISP into action.
I do not have time for legal proceedings! I feel like I deserve accomodation while this matter is settled, and I shouldn't have to wait *weeks* for this to be resolved.
**What can I do?**
Can I refuse to pay rent, can I report them to an agency? Do I have to pay a lawyer a couple hundred bucks for a fancy letter? | apartment management sold me an apartment with internet jack, the jack didn't work and apartment refuses to fix/let me get ISP to fix. What are my options? |
t3_2jfhlk | tifu | TIFU By Stage Slapping My Girlfriend in a Starbucks | This happened on Thanksgiving (Reporting from Canada here...) and after dinner my girlfriend and I decided to get Starbucks before I drove home.
While in there we were talking about dinner and joking about her cousin who enjoys poking and prodding people (he's 15). I jokingly suggested that I should just go up one day and fake slap him to scare him, at which point my girlfriend said that if you drama slap someone it's all in how the person who is being slapped responds.
So she shows me how you do it (without actually doing it because public place and all) and like an idiot I line my left hand on her check and slap it with my right. The sound is AW(depending on your perspective)SOME/FUL. Seriously, the sound would have made Marshall Eriksen proud and Barney Stinson's Sphincter tighten. It fills the Starbucks. The barista who is making our drink looked up at just the right time to see my girlfriend react (which was superbly done, face went to the side, everything) and she looks shocked, people at the back are cocking their heads to the side to see what happened.
At this point I look around because I feel that overwhelming force of eyes on me. I know I fucked up. The only thing that saved me is my girlfriend has a huge smile on her face, then realizes also what happened and starts laughing because between the look of "oh shit on my face" and the barista's look of "do I need to call the cops" she just laughed. Finally composing herself she looks at me and says, and questions why she takes me out in public. | Stage slapped my girlfriend in starbucks, barista looked like she was ready to call the cops, girlfriend saved me and laughed it off though. |
t3_1yi4cd | Pets | My roommate's cats keep attacking my dog. | So I have a dog, Phil (male). He is the sweetest, most well behaved dog you've ever met. Seriously. And my roommate has two cats, Simon (female) and Rabbit (male). They keep attacking Phil and I don't know what to do about it.
Rabbit is mostly fine with Phil, but Simon will hiss, growl, and attack if Phil goes anywhere near her. And Rabbit is loyal to Simon, so when she goes after him, he does too. The only time they won't attack him is if I'm around. But that means that whenever I leave the house, we have to keep him in the garage (we tried keeping him in my bedroom, and I now have a destroyed door frame). There are times when I'm gone all day, or even for multiple days, and I hate to keep him in the garage like that.
This started becoming a real problem a little while ago, when Simon was in heat. My roommate went to have her fixed and it turned out she'd had a false pregnancy. So basically, the idea was that she was protecting her nonexistent kittens. We figured it would stop after she got fixed, but it didn't.
Phil doesn't even notice that these cats exist (except when they're attacking him, of course). He also has a history of getting attacked by animals when he's done nothing to provoke them. I really want to end this. Anyone have any ideas? | My roommate's cats keep attacking my dog unless I'm there, and I really don't want them to. |
t3_19atvm | pettyrevenge | Road Trip Rage | A couple years ago my boyfriend and I took an awesome roadtrip from San Francisco to Seattle up Highway 1. Highway 1 is a really fun drive with lots of great scenery but in many places it is only 1 lane each way and can be very winding in places. Add in a terrifying amount of fog and you may see where this story is going.
Somewhere before we hit Oregon but after the Redwoods we got stuck behind a white VW Cabrio doing 5-10 miles under the speed limit. Sure there were dotted lines for passing but between traffic coming the other direction and limited visibility it seemed we would never get past. The line of cars went from 2 to 3 to 6 to 7. But at no point did we lose civility. There was no honking or tailgating or flashing of lights, we suffered in silence.
Finally, there was a big sign "slow traffic pull over in 1/4 mile" With a great sigh of relief we began to anticipate our freedom. Sure enough in 1/4 mile a pull out lane appeared on the right, the perfect opportunity for someone who doesn't feel comfortable going too fast to pull over and make room. We had seen it many times before, especially families in rented RVs, would pull over and we'd give a courtesy wave and pass by. But no, not this time, not this car. The Cabrio was either too dead set on carrying on or just totally clueless at the growing ranks of cars stuck behind them to bother pulling over and letting everyone pass. Demoralized and frustrated we continued to watch the motorcade grow to 13 vehicles trapped behind the evil white Cabrio. Several dotted passing lines came and went along with many gestures of exasperation from the drivers behind us. It seemed fate was not on our side this day until finally our moment came:
Wide open, clear visibility, straight road with a dotted line. We veer to the left and pin the throttle, open the windows and stick our fists out the window making bull horns as we rocket past the Cabrio. Much to our glee the next 3 cars behind us follow suit, also sticking their fists out the window as they pass.
The evil overlord overthrown, we each continued our afternoon drive at the pace of our choosing, and it was good. | Stuck behind the same car for an hour, overtake them in a moment of glory and solidarity with fellow trapped cars. |
t3_23lvdu | relationships | Communication is difficult between me [34M] and my girlfriend [29F] of 6 months | I feel like I'm learning not to talk to my girlfriend, or rather I'm learning to talk to her as little as possible. This is because I feel like her responses are never nice. She is constantly either argumentative, pat, dismissive, defensive, or a mix of all of them. I am not getting what I need: empathy, attempts at understanding, the benefit of the doubt, compassion, compromise. The compromise I do get comes with something that feels like resentment, manifested with an attitude of "let's just get through this".
Example: I'm kind of into board games and I asked her if she wanted to play one with me. She paused and said "sure". I let her pick one, we started playing, and she was in a shit mood the whole time. I hope it's understandable that this makes it hard for me to enjoy it. I asked her gently what was up and whether she was having fun. She said "as much as last time". She wouldn't make eye contact with me the whole time without giving me a "what?!" face, and she was stoic and nearly silent the whole time. I was glad when the game was over. I would have ended it early but that would have escalated the situation so I just kept my enjoyment face on and hammered it out so we could move on. I don't know why she couldn't just say she wasn't into it.
Most of our conversation seems to include parts wherein one of us is correcting the other or disagreeing without signs of listening. I've noticed this and I'm trying to adjust my communication, but it seems like the only "constructive" thing I've been able to do is to interact less and less. She seems to get way emotional very quickly and it raises the stakes on the simplest of conversations. Stuff like which car to drive and what to eat for dinner have me on edge, and it feels like any conversation where we have differing opinions needs to be resolved or avoided as quickly as possible because of how emotionally charged it will inevitably get.
I'm concerned that this is my fault and I need to understand what I can do better. | Disagreeing with gf in any way gets way out of hand and I wonder how I can know if it's my fault. |
t3_2ncv0r | Advice | Going to be living alone next year. 18 and have no clue whatsoever. | So my parents (who are immigrants) plan to move back to their homeland next year after I graduate. However I will not be joining them due to having my entire education in the US. It will be too hard to adjust in a new country and learning how the application process works there. Without giving too much info away, I'm under an E2 visa under my parents and I have absolutely no clue what I'm supposed to do when the visa is terminated. Of course, I want to stay here, but I believe I am not protected under the DACA because I came here documented/legally (yeah sucks). I'm going to be attending a community college and then transferring so I can save a lot of money and have time to figure things out.
Anyone keen on visa matters? | 18 yr old student, parents leaving, have to change E2 visa to something idk what. |
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