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t3_2fibcs | relationships | I (24m) have been feeling less attached to my gf (23f) of 3 years. | As the title states I have been dating my gf for 3 years now. I truly believe the first 2 years were the happiest of my life. I love her. However over the last year or so I have been feeling less and less attached to her. Sometimes when I look at her I feel nothing at all anymore. I really miss the happiness I used to have when I would lay eyes on her.
I feel that we have less and less in common. My job is highly time consuming and I am not really able to talk to her about it with her understanding. The part I feel worst about is that through the relationship she has gained a lot of weight and physically I am less attracted then I used to be to her. I have never considered myself shallow but she just looks different then she used to. I have made attempts to work with her in the gym and dieting but she rarely followed through on her own. I really just want someone to talk to about how I feel, and I don't think I could with her. | dating 3 years and have less in common now then before and I don't feel as attracted to her physically or emotionally . |
t3_47paus | personalfinance | Question about affording a temporary car | So my husband and I own 2 cars currently; one is a beater and the other is a brand new car. The beater decided to call it quits yesterday and is in the shop to be evaluated.
If the car cannot get fixed, we have the money to get a new one. However, my husband is moving in 2 months for temporary training (military), and can't take a car with him. After his training we are moving across the country, and cannot physically get the second car to the next house.
So I guess my question is, what are the best options for this situation? | we need 2 cars, but only for a little while. What are my options? |
t3_17vc1l | loseit | 230 to 175 [M; 26; 5'11''] Took me 4 yrs but I did it. You can do it also! | Been a lurker on the loseit subreddit for a few months now. I really enjoy reading inspiring stories of people who lost a lot of weight and have kept it off. I just wanted to share my story to those seeking motivation. This is my first post on reddit ever so I hope I did everything right.
During my senior year of college, I weighed my heaviest at 230 lbs. From eating unhealthy to late night frat parties, I was destroying myself but didn't really care. I tried 4 years on and off to lose weight with some success but would gain it right back.
I started a new job in 2010 and my weight stayed in the range of 195 - 205 due to constant work travel and late work nights. In March 2012, my twin brother (who was the fit one in the family) forced me to make a promise to run the Disney World 2013 Half-Marathon with him. I had never ran more than a 5K in my life. 13.1 miles seemed daunting.
With a promise made and his motivation, I set up a running program and made myself run (I also did cross-training on my rest days). I swore off fast food and soft drinks (I can't even drink them now because they are too sweet for me!). I started to do my research on what foods to eat and started cooking my own food more. The pounds started coming off within a few weeks and months. My goal was to run and finish with my brother.
I hit my goal weight of 175 in May 2012. Much earlier than I thought but I maintained my fitness goal and weight and ran the Disney World Half-Marathon with him last month. I almost cried when I crossed the line with him as it was a close of a chapter in my life that I had struggled with since college.
Now, my goal this year is to run my first marathon and to do the Goofy Challenge with my brother in 2014 (39.3 miles in two days). I am also trying to gain more lean muscle mass for myself. | 230 in 2008, promise to run with brother in 2012. Reached goal weight of 175 in 2012 and wanting to keep that for 2013. |
t3_pv8bf | AskReddit | Am I suffering from depression, Reddit? I think I need some help. | I've always had this phobia or trauma of people leaving me behind and moving on with their lives. I can never get over the fact that its in the past and I need to move on too. I'm always very affected by what my close friends do in their own times and always wonder why I do not know, or why I even need to know what they are doing without me.
I always get into a state of depression whenever my friends tell me they've been doing this or that without me and it gets to me really badly that I start affecting their moods too.
Recently, my best friend just got attached, and I get this feeling that our friendship will never be the same again. He will never spend the same amount of time he has spent with me previously, we would never have the bro-talks we always use to have because his time is now mostly dedicated to the girl he is attached to right now.
I'm so affected by this that I can't even do anything right. My heart feels heavy all the time, and my mind just won't stop thinking. I start trembling in fear at the thought of being all alone in the future. Even though he has tried reassuring me that things won't be different, I know its impossible for things to stay the same.
P.S: He has been the friend that I always go to whenever I need someone to talk to when I have really bad problems. I talk and share with him everything, no secrets held. But in just a day, I have lost this friend that I depended so heavily upon. | Suffering from depression due to close friendship. |
t3_2nmhq2 | relationships | Me [16M] very interested in a close friend [16F], need advice | I'll try to be brief and avoid assaulting your eyes with a wall of text.
I'm finding myself very attracted to a close friend that I've had since middle school. She's fairly quiet and pretty serious about school. Neither one of us has been in a real relationship before. We have a lot in common, we're in almost all of the same classes in high school (except for two), we both study Chinese, and we are both track and field athletes, we're involved in many of the same clubs and extra-curricular activities.
And no, it's not because I've been stalking her or anything like that.
She's really one of my closest friends, which is why the whole situation makes me a little bit anxious.
A few months ago I asked her to go with me to our school's homecoming dance; she seemed very surprised at first and said yes rather hesitantly. The next day though she told me that she couldn't go with me, she was very gentle about the whole thing and seemed kind of torn up about it. The she didn't talk to me for three days, which hurt a bit.
(It came to my attention that she may have a bit of a weird family situation, I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it or not.)
But since then it's been like it never even happened. We talk all the time, she's been seeking me out just as much as before, maybe more.
I'd really like to have a more serious relationship with her, but I'm just frankly not sure if it can happen, have I been friend-zoned or am I just psyching myself out? Should I wait, or is there just no point? Do I risk ruining the relationship we have if I push any further? | Do I have any chance of dating this girl or am I doomed to fester in the friend zone? |
t3_1biwwd | relationships | I'm [24m] and in love with a girl [22f] yet I have this urge, help? | Hi,
So, I have a girlfriend [22f] that I have been with for the better part of 4 years and I know that she is the one. She shares my loving for gaming and she shares my interest in movies; basically, we have a lot in common!
When I was 4 years old, I was diagnosed with brain cancer and because of it, I didn't really have a childhood because of treatments and complications. I missed out on a lot of things, like prom, hanging out with friends at parties; just simple things like that. One thing I also missed out on is dating. I did have one ex-girlfriend before this one, but it was long distance and so we barely saw each other (7 times in 3 months, the length of the relationship)
I now live with the girl in question [22f] and we have been having a lot of issues; we knit-pick at each others flaws and such, but no matter what, we come out laughing and loving each other. But recently, I've been watching some friends going out with girls and dating, basically having fun. Now I find myself sort of wanting to experience that aspect of life, yet I don't want to lose my now girlfriend because I love her a lot, but I know if I don't at least experience a bit of dating, I'd regret for the rest of my life.
I have talked to her about it, and she seems understanding but girls are known to be quite confusing, and I'm not sure if this is a "test" to see how I would react on my urges or not. I'm really confused and could really use some advice! | I have had cancer since I was 4, which screwed my childhood and teenage years up for the most part. I now have a gf of 4 years that I love, but I want to experience dating, something I missed out on, help? |
t3_1z2iqp | tifu | TIFU when the intoxicated apartment door battle went wrong | This did not occur today it actually happened at the beginning of last summer.
Things you should know first, I was stressed about my financial situation at the time and when I am stressed I love to run. I also don't drink a lot, I just don't care for it.
This particular evening, I was hanging out with some close friends. Let's call them, Dana, Fox and my boy friend at the time Charlie. Originally I had told Charlie to cut off my alcohol consumption at 2 screwdrivers... but he had caved after I batted my eyelashes. So... I had way too much, was buzzed and had already been making a fool of myself, also Dana had been drinking as well. The two gents had refrained. Now, as I was sitting there I just started reflecting on how bad my financial situation was. So naturally, I wanted to go running!
Now, dumbass buzzed me was having communication issues, so... I did the only logical thing, I kept making moves toward trying to exit my apartment. Unfortunately, my Jedi speed and reflexes were not up to par, so my plans kept getting foiled by my sober friends... So I devised a new plan of attack, I calmed down enough that they thought I had given up. I waited till the gents were on the opposite side of the apartment, and made a dash for the door. I managed my escape! However, Dana in her buzzed state tried to stop my escape, only managing to slam my heavy apartment door on my right foot as I exited. I didn't care, I was free to go for a nice friendly jog... barefoot... in the rain... Fox eventually caught up, jogged with me a bit and convinced me to come home, where we then realized my foot was bleeding profusely.
Long story short... I have scars on my foot, my toe nail fell off, and I am still not able to bend my toe. | Screwdrivers + Lacking Jedi Reflexes = Broken Toe? |
t3_1qcnmv | relationships | Me [20 M] with my [20 F] 2 years, Went away for school, she's been deprived | So basically, I went away for college to play baseball. At first things seemed fine. We were able to withstand being apart for a while which really isn't always a bad thing. Everyone needs some time away from each other. But lately the problem I've been dealing with is that the longer I've been away from her, the more I see of her true colors. In other words she has been depressed, crying, has more problems with her parents and family. Now I try to console her in every possible way I can but she keeps shutting me down. Then she comes to me with I need you. She also does this thing where she lashes out her anger on me, I've told her a long time ago I'm not her punching bag and definitely do not deserve to be treated that way. This entire thing has happened several times and every time it happens, little by little I start to want to be with her less. I love her, I care about her, but I'm also worried she's going to go crazy if I break up with her.
--
I'm tired of this nonsense, and I don't need the extra stress. I probably should have ended it before I left for school, but I didn't want to do that because I wanted to try it out before ruling out that a LDR wouldn't work. I keep contemplating about ending it, what do you all think? | LDR isn't working out, starting to love her less, should I just end it and move on? |
t3_18pmtp | dating_advice | Not sure if it's a relationship or just seeing each other | I (20M) have gone on 4 dates with over the past month with this girl (20). We've spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other. We haven't had sex (she's only had sex once and from what I can tell it didn't go well so I decided to not push it) but we have made out a few times. We don't live that close so we only see each other about once a week or so.
I can give more information if you need it, just tell me what kind of stuff you want to know. What I want to know is whether what we're doing seems more like we're just seeing each other or a relationship. And if it's just seeing each other how would I make it a relationship. | Been seeing a girl for a month. Not sure if we're in a relationship or not. |
t3_3j4wy6 | relationships | I'm a [23 M] cliche that's in love with my friend [23 F] but it seems complicated. | I had a crush on this girl from a distance and we knew who the other was but we never really hung out. I hadn't seen her in a while and we ran into each other and started talking, but she was in a relationship and we all started hanging out. I wanted to dislike her boyfriend but he was pretty cool although their relationship always seemed rocky.
Eventually i started to develop real feelings but i never wanted to try and come between them. I didn't want to be the cause for something like that plus I've never been sure about her feeling like more than friends although people in public have mistaken us as a couple (which never helped the depression that would hit after i would be heading home after a hangout session).
Although it hasn't been said directly to me it seems they're breaking up, but I'm not sure when/if i should even stay anything soon. Also on an added note somebody that i don't know that well told them that i had feelings for her but my friend told them that was nonsense, and it never got awkward between us.
It seems obvious that she feels close to me in some sense, but I'm terrified of making a move and losing her even on a friendly level. If i knew there was no chance this wouldn't be a problem. The hope kills me.
There's more but I'm trying to keep this kind of brief. | My friend's fresh out of relationship and I'm unsure if i should confront her. |
t3_yqb6b | relationships | My husband[24] wants to quit his job and go back to school. This will negatively impact our lifestyle to an enormous degree and I don't want him to. Advice? | He's 24 and I'm 25. We've been married for one year and together for 8.
He has undergrad degrees in math and physics and has worked in finance for 3 years to pay off our debt. I knew he's always wanted to go back to school, but I didn't realize how much it'd affect us until he's started talking about it again and I looked into it. We'd have to downgrade our lifestyle, and that's saying something considering we live well below our means as of now.
He wants a PhD in physics - it's terrifying. The job prospects are awful. I read that only 10% will ever get a tenure-track position, many are unemployed, and those that aren't unemployed work long hours for as little as $20K a year. And what's even worse is that the specialty he's interested in (accelerator physics) has the worst outlook of any specialty. The real problem is getting a PhD would mean he can't go back to his job in finance because he'd be over qualified. Really, all you can do with a phd is academia, if that.
I've talked to him about it, but he's set on it. I just don't feel like it's fair that I'll have to live like a pauper for at least the next decade, maybe longer, just so he can do what he wants. | I don't want my husband to go back to school. |
t3_43vfvu | relationships | My girlfriend [17F] moved in with my [20M] family and my mom [47F] is making it a bit hard to handle. | So my girlfriend recently moved into my family home that I share with my dad [50M] brother [17M] and mom. Everything is usually fine and smooth but as of late my mom has been up our asses about hanging out in the same bed when anyone else who lives in the home is around. Specifically my brother
I know she's probably thinking about how awkward the situation is for him but what she may not know is he's sexually active with his girlfriend and not totally naive to what me and my gf would be doing living in the same house.
The not hanging out in bed thing has been a recent trigger for many fights. Because of the no hanging out in bed arrangement we (me and gf) get up early and go watch tv downstairs alone. Today I was gone for five minutes in the bathroom and she was cold so hopped in under the covers. Like I said I'm not there with her because I'm not wanting to start any fights that could lead her away back to her old home situation (it was kind of rough but out of her privacy I shouldn't go into details.) So I'm in he bathroom and my mom sees her in my bed, freaks out that the brother would be the wrong idea and it causes a huge fight in the morning...
So r/relationships please help me keep my gf comfortable here while helping me decide what I should do about my mom's tyrannical view of beds. | my mom blows a fuse anytime she sees gf in my bed regardless of me in there with her or not and she has a tough time dealing with the rules as do I what should we do |
t3_28vdng | relationships | I [F,18] don't have a lot of non mutual friends from my BF [28], is there a problem? | We met during my second semester of college through a school club I joined. He is the president. Most of his friends at my school are a part of the club as well, and because of that I'm friends with most of his friends.
I have a few friends from the club that I feel I am closer to that he is, but for the most part our social group is pretty mutual.
I would have had a social life before I met my SO; however, my ex (my HS sweet heart whom I dated for 4 years) didn't want me making friends which lead us to breaking up (among other things). I made friends with my now SO through the club, and now that we are dating I find that all of my friends are at least his acquaintances.
Is there anything unhealthy about this? Also I've tried making a really good friend that is a girl, but I never find myself "clicking" with other girls.
My SO feels that it is maybe important that I have a friend that isn't mutual. The thing is, I really don't know where to start, and I am pretty happy with my social life as of now. If I was to make a new friend, he would probably end up being their acquaintance anyway from me introducing them. I have some friends he doesn't know directly that I met online and a few friends from HS I talk to from time to time. | my SO and I share very similar interests and we are in a club together. Most of our friends are in that club, so we have the same social group. Is there a problem with this? I also have never met another girl that I really "click" with, so my closest friends are guys. |
t3_hju6s | AskReddit | Dear reddit, I need a book on atheism for my christian sister. (Not Dawkins or Sam Harris) | So, for Xmas my sisters gave me a book called "Letters from a sceptic", they gave it to me so I'd stop pestering them with questions about their religion, since it contains a lot of them most typical ones. We usually have good debates about religion vs atheism, and they are both intelligent and clever individuals.
That book was sorely lacking (surprise surprise :p), and I also would like to return the favour (my oldest sister turns 23 in a couple of days).
What I'm after: A good book on atheism or that answers most christian "issues" in a reasonable way. I'm not looking for something to mock their faith, but I'd like them to be able to read up on how atheism compares to christianity. | Looking for a reasonable book on the atheist perspective towards christianity, not a militant book aimed at the unfaithful |
t3_3bcexr | tifu | TIFU by not being impatient and not holding it in. | So this happened when I was like 10 or 11 years old. So it was a regular day and I was helping my grandmother with some garden things and we decided to order some pizza. Some time later the pizza was finished and I had to take the biggest shit in my life, but the the place we were at didn't have any bathrooms (we were at her house which was under construction at the time and there weren't any bathrooms nearby) so I had to walk/run awkwardly to my home which was 3 km away. When I was about 50 m from my door I couldn't hold it and stoped in the middle of the sidewalk and shat myself, thank god nobody was around to see it. So there I am walking like a crab to my door and my sister is leaving and she locked the door so I had to ask her for the keys wich required close contact and I didn't want to be near anyone cause of the smell, I asked her to throw the keys to me and she didn't understand why I was shouting at her from a distance to throw something at me, she came close and gave the keys to me, moments later she asks what is that smell and I didn't reply just ran home. I checked my underwear and it was bad, like really bad.
I haven't told anyone this fuck up except Reddit | ate pizza and later shat myself |
t3_2v8fcg | relationships | Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] 3 months, her fear of doctors is ruining our relationship and I don't know how I can fix it. | I recently finished graduate school (PhD), and for the last four years I didn't have any time to date as I was in the lab all day every day. I moved for a new job and starting dating my current girlfriend within a week of arriving.
I've been with her for three months, and she's a wonderful and very kind girl. However, at one point I noticed she has a great fear of doctors and will not see one for any reason. After talking about it, she told me that her mother died in chemotherapy when she was child and gets panic attacks as soon as she sets foot in a doctor's office.
I initially just let it go; we all have our differences and nobody's perfect. However, this surfaced again because I didn't feel comfortable using only condoms as a method of birth control, and I preferred that we both use some sort of contraception just in case the condom fails. Afterwards, she said she'd try to go to a doctor and see what options were available. I reassured her that going on a birth control pill wasn't necessary; just something (anything) on her end to reduce the risk of pregnancy. I can certainly see how this might seem like overkill, but in in my opinion things happen and I'm not ready to be a dad.
Fast forward a month and a half and she still hasn't chosen a form of contraception and won't have sex with me (just an exchange of oral sex). I feel terrible to even ask her about going to the doctor again and I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do (especially considering the circumstances) just to make me happy. I tried explaining how sometimes unfortunate things happen, but compromising her health isn't justified. I think eventually she'll change (she's young and doesn't need that much medical attention anyway), however, I think sex is a major part of a relationship. Part of me feels like I should try and move on, but I feel awful and selfish for doing so.
Is there any way to fix this? | My girlfriend has a fear of doctors and it's killing our sex life |
t3_3owc6t | running | Dog jumped me while running | I was on mile 4 of an 8 mile run on a Saturday. Running on the sidewalk following a 4 lane main road with a decent amount of morning traffic. I have my headphones on, running my pace with one of my dogs(Obiligory photo: I was with Kira, the lighter colored one, she's better on longer distances). I see my dog's head turn and at that time a bull dog/pit bull mix jumps on my back.
I stumble and my dog pulled me forward. I look back and the pit / bull dog is now running all over in the middle of the road. A rust colored truck has stopped and all traffic has stopped as well. Two people from the truck have now gotten out and was coaxing the dog back in the truck. I stop running and see if the dog will come to me and I can help secure the dog. In hindsight, I should have stopped and protected myself and my dog but it looked playful, as opposed to vicious. It seems the dog was in the bed of the truck and jumped out to give me a love tap. The guys get the dog inside the cab, slam the doors shut, and I hear them yelling at him while they accelerate away. | Dog jumped out of the bed of a moving truck and gave me a back massage. |
t3_3d6w6w | tifu | TIFU by telling my cousin that my brother's girlfriend is preggers. | SOOOOOO basically, I told my cousin about my brother's recent announcement to me, my mom, my grandma, and basically half of our family. He hasn't told my dad. They live with my dad. He has no job. He's had a really bad couple of months, and this was supposed to be good news, but my dad will be a dick about it.
My cousin went and told his girlfriend, who's good friends with my OTHER brother's girlfriend, and let the cat out of the bag. Everyone in that house will know in a matter of days, if not within A DAY. So my brother will probably get kicked out on his ass with a kid to support.
I got kicked out of the house over some bullshit, so I'm staying a mile away from that shit, but I still feel really bad. | Told my cousin who told his girlfriend who told my brother's girlfriend who told my other brother that my middle brother got his girlfriend preggers. |
t3_wqxg2 | AskReddit | I.AM.NOT.RACIST. But I still want to know why [most] black people don't tip. Downvote if you want but a google search does not provide a REAL answer, only racist ones. | I am a delivery person. I treat every delivery with exactly the same respect as I do the next one because, honestly, it's all just a blur. But I can say without a shred of racial hate in my body that black people DO NOT tip. at all. Most of them at least. And this is the only demographic group in which this is true. I have dealt with this for years and am not trying to make a racist comment; I am trying to ask a question based on what I have experienced.
I have googled this question, and every link I clicked on an (apparently) black person answering the question in ways such as "because we are still waiting on our 40 acres of land you stole" or "because we are broke" (in which case you shouldn't be ordering delivery no matter what skin you wear).
I want a legitimate answer to this.
This is not a joke. And no it's not the cliche "niggers don't tip" argument, because even then I watch a black person's YouTube reply about how "some black people are niggers and cheap and just don't tip."
This is not true in my experience. I have met countless black people who are very kind and treat me like a real person when I deliver their food. But it doesn't change the fact that, in reality, black people don't tip. I would truly like some insight to this. Thank you. | Don't answer with ignorant racism from either side. Reply in honesty or don't reply at all. |
t3_enumh | AskReddit | I want to make the best of the time I have left with my father, but unsure how to. | Hi Reddit, I'm hoping I can get some advice for a very emotionally difficult issue that has been bothering me for as long as I could remember. My father is around 80 and I am in my early 20's (huge age gap) and I want to make the best of his remaining "sunset/ golden" years.
A bit of context:
My father married very late because of difficult situations: he nearly died several times in his life while living in the PRC, and the Japanese invasion in WWII. He didn't want to have children in such an environment, so he decided to delay having children until he immigrated to North America.
Fast forward to the present day, where he is retired and I'm just graduating from university. We share a good relationship: we talk regularly about daily activities, world events, and such. However, our conversations often highlight how much he has experienced in his life even before I was born. This saddens me for always reminds me of "loss time" I could have had with him.
In the past couple of years, his health has also been deteriorating, and I feel I don't have much more time with him. Every time he goes to the doctor to get another drug to help him alleviate pain, or help him sleep, or help him stay awake, or help control his blood pressure, it pains me.
I want to make sure his remaining time on Earth is meaningful and fulfilling for he never really had an easy/good life (but that's a different story). **And so, I was just wondering what I can do for him/with him to achieve this? | how can I make the best of the time I have left with my elderly father? |
t3_1ba3ce | relationships | Boyfriend [28] isn't as invested in the relationship as I am [27] | I'm trying to decide whether or not to break up with my boyfriend of 6 months right now.
I've been feeling recently that he doesn't care about me as much as I care about him. He doesn't make time for me as much as I do for him, turns down requests to hang out, and seems pretty standoffish.
He's been seeming less than enthusiastic about sex, which has me feeling pretty insecure about how attractive he finds me. What brought everything to a head was that he recently asked me to change a minor thing about my body. Coupled with my insecurity (which I've told him about), it has me feeling really hurt and even more worried about my attractiveness.
We talked about it, and he said that he likes me but that he's cautious about relationships after previous ones didn't end well.
The insecurity thing isn't really a big deal, but I keep wondering if it's even worth it to try and get past. I'm way into him, but he seems lukewarm about me.
Thoughts? Should I hang around and give him some space and hope that he comes to care about me like I care about him? Or is it time to cut my losses and get out? | Boyfriend's not as into me as I am into him. Should I break up with him? |
t3_2cv3n5 | relationship_advice | I [18M] asked my crush out [18F] and got a weird response. | I am definite that she has a crush on me based on the typical body language and attitude. She is also shy so I always initiated conversations. I was talking to her in person and in the middle of the conversation it went; "Hey ____ you probably realized this but, I got a crush on you so I was wondering we should go out?" She looked really glad, had a big smile, blushed and did a 360 turn... BUT this was what she said "Sorry but I think we should be friends as I am not interested in a relationship right now because my ex was a huge jerk and I don't want to be in the same situation as before. I have nothing against you, just that my ex was a huge jerk." They broke up a year ago.
It was my first time asking a girl out and being close to a girl for the first time in my miserable life... and I blew it then get friend-zoned. I was curious if I was being too "nice". Or if she's testing and playing games with me. I am so confused at the moment on what to do, hence why I'm posting here. Should I go talk to her again and get some clarifications? I'm the type who cannot easily get over a girl unless they go in a relationship. I was 150% sure she would say yes as we both had a big crush, but I guess not.
SO what should I do? | Asked crush out where we both have crush, says we should remain as friends and doesn't want a relationship because her ex was a huge jerk and didn't wanted to go to the same cycle. I'm sorta confused and half believe that response and need advices. |
t3_51b4pf | relationships | I [24F] do not know how to set boundaries appropriately? | Hello, world of Reddit. This is my first post here so please bear with me if anything is out of place.
I know for a fact that I struggle with social situations.
A little background. I'm 24, I am a senior psychology undergraduate student. And yes, I am going into the mental health field. My friends often come to me for advice, consolation, and the like, which I don't mind, and in fact, I love giving advice when I have the emotional energy to help.
I've been recently finding myself in situations where I feel taken advantage of: where neither my humanity, my needs, nor my obligations are observed, and that I am expected to be either the fixer or the problem-solver whenever other people need. I kind of feel as if I am treated as someone who does not actually have these functions.
And in some cases, I feel many relationships become imbalanced or where the only aspect of the relationship is listening to problems; never low key things like playing video games together, bonding over pizza, or taking a walk in the sunshine. Or watching Netflix together. Or hanging out in the same room, quietly, doing my own thing with someone else there if something needs to be said. Talking about the universe!?! Or even just about how a crazy day went.
I know I've always had a problem with setting boundaries because my automatic assumption is that others mean well and that I should be patient with them, though clearly that is not always the case. Some people have strictly used me to vent – basically not valuing me outside of the benefit that I'm a person they come to to fix things.
I don't know what boundaries I need to set, or how to make them known, so I don't end up in dynamics that end up being one-sided and not fulfilling at best, toxic at worst.
I like helping people, this includes listening to them when I have a bad day, but how do I make the distinction to others and draw the line between what's acceptable and what's not?
I would appreciate constructive feedback on how to improve my life for the better. | I don't know how to get what I want out of friendships. It seems like I end up in friendships where I get taken advantage of and treated like an object. |
t3_3p4b5l | tifu | TIFU by inviting a girl over to my place | Let me start by saying that this story is very crazy but I promise, very real. I'm still hungover and trying to figure out what the fuck happened.
Last night I went to a party and ended up hooking up with this foreign girl. We came back to my place, had sex and went to sleep.
This morning, I was awaken by my brother calling me (him and I live together). He told me to come outside of the room and then asked me how much did I drink and if I brought a crazy drunk girl over. I was like "Yeah, I brought a girl over but she's okay, not crazy."
Then he said: Well, she just shat and pissed all over the kitchen floor. I thought he was joking at first... then I went in the kitchen. There was poop under a chair and piss all over the floor.
Then the story goes even crazier... he said when he arrived home he saw a naked woman pooping in the kitchen. He shouted asking who the fuck she was, but since she doesn't speak our language, she just didn't say anything and looked crazy. My brother thought she was some lunatic homeless woman and got his paintball gun. He then asked again who she was... and this time she just said my name. Then I think he figured out she was with me and pointed her to my room.
So, after hearing this story, I go back inside the room and try to wake her up to no vail. What do I do then? Go to the kitchen and disgusted, clean her shit and piss from the floor.
She woke up not long ago and left. I didn't mention to her the shit (literally) that she did. Since we have some friends in common, I don't want her thinking the word will get out. I think I'm gonna go take a bleach shower now. | Invited a girl over, she shat and pissed on my kitchen floor and I had to clean it. |
t3_lph8a | relationships | Had a one night stand with my roommate now things are awkward. I need help. | Ok, full details: We've been living close to a year together now, she's 27 i'm 24. She had a boyfriend until pretty recently but since he moved away she's been single for a couple of months, although i am pretty sure she means to start dating a mutual friend of ours. I have had some girls over, some repeats but never more than 2 or 3 times per girl, my roommate is aware that I have had girls over and that most of them only stay one night. One last bit of background, we had definitely broken the touch barrier before, we sometimes scratch each others backs or give foot massages and back rubs.
The event happened as follows:
It was Friday night and we decided not to go out, a friend of mine had arrived in town and was staying the night. We each had a couple of cans of beer and started to watch a movie. Both me and my roommate fell asleep on one couch (couch is pretty big, we can fit 2 deep easily) and after a while my friend fell asleep in the other couch. I woke up to the bathroom and then coming back ended up with one of my hands on her tummy, (didn't really mean anything sexual) after a while she moved her hand to my my thigh and started rubbing. After a while of mutual rubbing she move my hand to her breasts and grabbed my crotch. To cut it short, we decided to move to my room and had sex twice (this might or might not be important, the second time we did it without a condom, she had a morning after pill afterwards.).
We've spoken since, but not about that night, and we have been seeing each other very little lately, she seems to be spending a large amount of time outside of the house during the time i am usually in. There has been some more touching but nothing sexual and there is a certain atmosphere in the air. I just want to have things back the way they were, she is a kickass roommate and the place is fantastic.
Any ideas on how i should proceed, even if your suggestion is "wait and see" will help me keep my mind. | Had a one night stand with my roommate, things have been weird, i do not want to loose her as a roommate or the place we live in. |
t3_25327w | relationships | I[m] 22, years have passed ,and I can't stop thinking about her(f, 19) | so the story goes, my very first(real) relationship occurred from when I was about 17-18, and she was 14-15. I was ecstatic, I was happy, I felt so.. clear. Mind you, it was high school, so there was that. She would smile and I would be on cloud nine.
Throughout the relationship, she would do things that would tear me apart, but I would never even blame her for them when I should have(she would brag about how one of her male friend's muscles were "so strong" and call me out on how I asked her to stop talking about it)
We dated for a year, and even after a year's time I felt excited to see her. I feel that I made her insanely happy, until she wanted to break up with me. An entire shitstorm of games happened, both of us doing things we shouldn't have(she lied to me, was VERY vague about one of her male friends making advances towards her/ I made out with one of her friends)
.. It has been close to four years now, and I feel absolutely pathetic. I don't know how to get over her, or if I even should attempt to do it. It doesn't help that she lives in my neighborhood(I never see her, but I happened to see her today driving home from work).
I have tried numerous times on trying to get over her, I have tried several methods( dating someone else, burying myself in school/work, hanging out with my friends, staying single[I'm currently single, have been for 3 months..]. I just don't know if I am lonely, if I miss my ex, or what's happening.
There's a quote from Friends where Joey would say, in this instance "DUDE GET OVER IT, IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS" to Ross, and I have tried, I really have. I don't know how to put the past behind me, when it comes to my ex. | I need serious help in getting over my ex!! |
t3_1rvys0 | needadvice | Should I get a mediocre job and provide or dig into savings to go to school? | First off, I'm not sure if this is even the correct subreddit for this question. Life changing decision time. I am separating from the military with no job-related skills in the civilian world. I don't enjoy what I do very much, and wouldn't like to continue it but that's the only job I seem qualified for.
I have a wife, two-year-old daughter, and a home that's paid off to go back to. And finally I have around 300K in savings. No debt.
Now the decision part: Should I find a job that we will only barely scrape by and take care of family and finances first or can I justify digging into savings and go to school full time. Its always been my goal to get a Bachelors and move on to a graduate degree from a prestigious university. I feel as though I am intelligent enough to do so, I have friends that took different paths and are doing so, but having a family changes things.
We can do it. With savings plus a part-time job we could survive many years as a full time student.
Any advice or experience people have from similar situations would be greatly appreciated. Will we be better off in the long run ect... | Do I get a medium-wage job to take care of family or do I blow savings on a education. |
t3_453rkk | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [19], is this a test? | Hey guys, so I just got a new girlfriend. We've been dating for a week, and we get along perfectly. We both like each other, and we both say we do openly. Something happened yesterday that was really hard to understand for me.
We got in an argument. We're both in college, but I'm in dorms so I can't actually have her over often. She seemed fine with us hanging out at her place until yesterday. You see the day before yesterday we made out hardcore, maybe fiddle around a bit. Before this I was supposed to leave because she was going to have to get up early tomorrow morning for classes. Just one quick kiss turned into an extra 3 hours of making out and feeling each other up. This shouldn't be a problem I'm thinking, but apparently it was.
You see I thought we were having fun, we were both enjoying ourselves and she seemed happier than I'd ever seen her when I left that night.
Next morning, she texts me and pretty much says she wants to go back to just holding hands and barely hanging out. I mean I understand where she's coming from and maybe we were going too fast, but she also says she doesn't like hugging, kissing, cuddling, or really anything. She says she never wants it. She's also completely furious with me over it all, and she missed her class in the early morning because she didn't wake up in time. SOMEHOW this is my fault? Why are we going backwards? She enjoyed herself tremendously, and now she wants to go back? She even wants to stop having me over as much? What's up? | Made out with Girlfriend one night and she liked it, next night she wants to go back to square one. |
t3_4auzto | relationships | Me [24 F] with my now ex-boyfriend[23 M] he ended things at their best and I feel like shit. | We dated for a year and three months. We had so much in common and so much fun together. In hindsight I guess I should have seen it coming. He never said he loved me until the day he broke up with me. He didn't want me close to his family, I only ever met his dad. The whole relationship felt like a literal dream I just got rudely slapped awake from.
We had never even really fought. He just came in and sat down on the couch all quiet before telling me he felt we should break up. I wanted so bad to fix whatever was wrong but he said we were just too different, which was not true as we had MANY interests in common.
The whole thing just felt so cold and such an odd end to such a wonderful relationship. I feel like I gave everything to him only to end up getting nothing in return. He said I was more invested in us then he was, something I guess I always felt but hoped wasn't true.
I just want to lay and bed and sob. I feel like I have no energy and he is all I can think about. I just keep wanting to wake up and have him tell me it was all a bad dream. | I'm a sad sack of shit that got dumped. |
t3_3hbvqe | tifu | TIFU by by being disrespectful online and losing a friend. | So, like many other FU's here, this did not happen today, but about 3 weeks ago.
Backstory. I know this dude on Steam (we'll call him A for privacy reasons) and, along with a few other of his mates, had a blast some nights on the game Team Fortress 2. A managed to find a girlfriend via this game and right off the bat, she did not like me very much, but this is only the beginning...
Here's the FU. I decided to have a game with him. His girlfriend was there but I didn't mind that. Now after me killing A's GF a couple times, I decided to taunt her through the text chat by saying "Do you like my bat up your ass?" for a bit of friendly banter. She responded "Mate, don't talk to me about putting things up my ass." And I went ahead and ignored this advice by typing "Only (A)'s stuff is allowed up your ass."
That was a dick move.
They both seemed very offended by this. But before I had time to apologise, they had left the game and appeared offline. I only had A on my friends list anyway, but he removed me almost instantly and both of them blocked me.
It does suck to lose a mate from my own dick-ishness, but I don't really have any bad feeling towards them. | Made terrible sexual innuendo towards friend's GF, ended up with both of them hating my guts. |
t3_36agvo | relationships | My (23) fiancé (24) has a very low sex drive whereas I have a very high one, along with not being very expressive of her emotions and I'm struggling. | We recently got engaged and had a big fight and almost broke up, the same issues continue to bother me and I'm at a loss for what to do... We'll argue about them but fundamentally nothing really changes. We have talked and she's said things will change when we live together but I'm not so sure. As far as our sexual chemistry, when we do have sex it's amazing. For me it's an emotional connection and draws me closer to her but she could take it or leave it. I love her with all my heart and can't bear the thought of cheating or leaving her so I feel very torn. Advice? Help?
( | ) my SO and I are at opposite ends of the gender role spectrum mentally and emotionally and I'm seeking to reconcile it and get her to open up to me. |
t3_c6009 | AskReddit | How Do I Get My Younger Brother to Wear His Seatbelt? | My little brother and I were hanging out last night and, when he went to drive home late, I told him to call me to make sure he got home safe. He didn't call me, so today after class, I called him. We talk for awhile and he mentions that he got another "bullshit ticket" on his way to work. I asked what for and he said it was a seatbelt violation.
Well, I pretty much fly off the handle because this is his second seatbelt violation this year. I asked him to tell me his reasoning behind not wearing a seatbelt. I told him that it doesn't matter how competent of a driver you are, other people can cause you just as many accidents as you can, and that it's just a good "insurance policy" to always wear a seatbelt.
Long story short, he didn't want to hear about it. I got off the phone angry and disappointed in my little brother for being so careless.
But now that I think about it, I'd rather him wear his seatbelt than me "be right" in this situation. Any thoughts, O Dear Hivemind? | My brother got his second seatbelt violation of the year today and I'm worried about his safety, but unsure of how to instill this habit. |
t3_p8gnm | loseit | Is this normal? | Back story: I've always been the fit, but not ripped type. In highschool I played football, basketball, etc etc but always had the extra weight. 2 years ago I managed to hit 180lb with 8% body fat, the most fit ive EVER been, but I was lacking a lot of muscle.
Fast forward 2 years, +1 girlfriend, -1 gym routine, +500 nights of eating out I was 220lb at 25% body fat.
No longer fitting into any of my clothes, I started up the gym routine again. Current regiment: 20-30 mins cardio, 45 mins weight training 4 days a week - never skipping an "on" day, with sub 1800 calorie a day intake.
problem is, my weight has not changed, 210-215 every time I've stepped on the scale. But... and this is a HUGE but.... I'm down to 14-15% body fat based on my fat calipers.
So.... Is this normal? I seem to be gaining the EXACT same amount of muscle as I'm losing in fat. | Losing 10% body fat without changing overall weight, is this normal? |
t3_2axr9v | relationships | Me [22 M] with my gf [21 F] of 5 years, uncomfortable with her frequent Snap-chats with another guy. | To start, I do not think there is anything going on, but Im concerned about how much it seems my girlfriend snapchats a male friend from the school club she's in. Ive known that they use snapchat for a few months now but ive never thought anything about it until I saw that he is labelled under the 'best friends'(the tab that snapchat puts people you communicate with most) and I was just surprised that he was one of the people there since I know she sends a bunch to me, her brother and a couple other female friends. When I asked her about it today after we went to a concert that she sent a couple snapchats out, which included him in the recipients, her response was that he sends her something silly one or two times a day. I left it alone since we had a great time at the concert and we both needed to get home.
We've been together five years and she has never done anything in the past to make me trust her less, but Im just getting an uncomfortable vibe from the amount they, or just the guy, seem to snapchat. On one hand, I think Im overreacting and want her to make friends since she has had more trouble making friends the couple couple years (we both transferred schools). On the other hand, my gut is feeling
uncomfortable with this.
Am I overreacting or is this something I should be concerned about? | Uncomfortable with the amount my girlfriend snapchats another guy. What should I do? |
t3_16hwnv | relationships | I (23f) am having troubles communicating with my so (m29) while having sex. Pressure! | My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We have been together for 22 months. We live together, love each others families, and have discussed marriage etc. But the one thing that is tugging at my heart is that whenever we have sex he always gets mad at me. He calls me selfish because I don't want bum sex. He says that I am not taking risks and doesn't want a mediocre sex life. I don't want a boring sex life either, but if I am not comfortable doing that then sex isn't enjoyable if he is upset.
Anyways, this morning we were having sex and then he says "I want to put it in your butt." I say no, no, no. Then he gets up. I call him selfish and that I want sex to be enjoyable for both of us. He says that I am being selfish for not letting him do it. Called him a dick, because I was irrational in the morning and still wanting sexy time.
I don't know what to do. I don't want him to think that I don't love having sex with him, because I do. I just am not ready to have it in ze ass. | SO makes sex time into fight time because I don't want bum sex. |
t3_2lgxel | tifu | TIFU by being a sarcastic jerk. | So today we had an important final board exam. It's our Physics IGCSE. This one guy is really terrible at academics and we all make fun of him. Today he shows up 10 minutes before we go into the exam hall, having barely studied. He asks us, the other guys, what the formula is to find the gradient of a graph. This one guy sarcastically gives him a different formula. We all laugh and go along with it.
Well, in the exam, they ask us this question based on the gradient of the graph. I answer it and move on. I go home after finishing the exam. Normally, us guys hang out after the exam and discuss the papers. The guy I mentioned doesn't join us usually, because the school thinks he has a learning problem, and so he gets 1.5 times as much time to write the exams as us. (I don't think he actually has a disability. He just doesn't concentrate in class and puts a bare minimum of effort into studying.)
I go home and all seems right in the world. Except, a few hours later, I get a message from a friend who was with us when we told the dumb guy the wrong formula. He tells me that that guy used the formula we gave him, costing him (at least) 2 marks. We're still figuring out how to come clean and make up for it. I feel terrible; despite not being directly responsible, I'm partly to blame since I went along with it.
(It makes me feel a bit better that I also got that question wrong, judging from what my friends answered.) | gave a dumb guy a wrong formula before an exam, he used the formula we gave him instead of the correct one. |
t3_zosln | AskReddit | For awhile I have been living a lie so as to not hurt my friends and family, I don't know if I can go on like this much longer. What should I do? | Closet athiest here, well 99%, I guess that technically makes me agnostic. I grew up in a Mormon family, served a mission for the church, and got married to an amazing woman (that I love dearly) in a Mormon temple. I have been married for nearly two and a half years, and have recently found out that my wife is pregnant with our first child (a little sooner than I hoped but not all birth control is 100% effective I guess).
About a year and a half ago I came to terms that I just don't believe there is a god. I carefully brought this up to my wife around that time and was saddened to see how much it hurt her to think that I had 'lost my faith', I couldn't continue to talk about it so I pretended I was just going through a phase and never brought it up again. I know my family as well as some of my friends would react in the same way as her if they found out.
I am becoming more and more resolved in my unbelief in god everyday. But I still go to church every week with my wife, and do the whole prayers and reading scriptures thing. I do this all to not hurt my wife, she has a lot of faith and I respect that, and she is the most amazing person in my life, I don't think I could live with myself seeing her hurt. I think it would almost be like a betrayal to her.
I feel like a coward for hiding and constantly pretending. I have nobody to talk to, and no idea if I should just come clean and be done with it.
I guess a follow up to this would be, has anyone else ever been in a situation like this, did you get through it? how? | Closet atheist pretending to still be Mormon so he won't destroy his wife and family emotionally, mostly his wife. |
t3_480x6h | relationships | Housekeeping(m25-30?) invited himself to my(f31) company's potluck | It all stated a few days ago. We have a new housekeeping person that started maybe 3 days ago. We'll call him "Leon". Me and another co-worker (Crystal) were making plans to have a potluck at work. As we were having this conversation Leon chimes in about a decision me and Crystal were trying to make. We both thought it was a good idea and thanked him. He then started asking questions about the potluck. He asked me where were going to have it and what time would it begin. Then I found out later that he asked Crystal if he could have some of our food. She told him he could if he brought something. His response was "I'll bring my belly". What?! No! How do you invite yourself to our party and not bring anything! So finally today my company had a "Potluck". We decided that everyone would give me money and I would make the food. So according to my coworkers it was technically "my food". So whenever he would ask about the food they would tell him he have to ask me. Me and my coworkers agreed that he once everyone got their share he could have what was left over. So at the end of his shift he asked me if he could have some food. I said yeah, sure. I had to go get him a plate to put his food on and as I handed it to him he asked me if I could make his plate! I asked him if he was serious. He said yes and I told him he needs to make his own plate! I cant believe this guy!
Am I out of line for being extremely upset? Or does this guy have no boundaries? | Housekeeping is trying to mooch off of our potluck food. |
t3_2yiyyt | personalfinance | Using PRBC for FICO expansion, and other thoughts about having no credit. | My husband (30M) and I (26F) are new to credit (we both have none), and just purchased a new car with some very gracious financial assistance from family members (who we will be paying back over the next few years).
Now we are on track to begin building credit, and in the meantime, we have both started using PRBC online to build an alternate line of credit, hoping that it might be usable for a FICO expansion score in the future for loans and possibly for our current credit card application, in case we are not approved.
I'm wondering if anyone has used or is using PRBC, and if so, have you had a good experience with them? Apparently their website is still in beta (how has it taken this many years for them to go online?!) and I am having a rough time getting my account going and reasonably useable.
My husband had no issue creating and verifying his account, but when I tried to create mine, it wouldn't accept it, saying that they could not verify my ssn. I realized that I had entered my birthday wrong, so I tried again and it still gave me the error on the ssn. After backing up my identity with tax documents, customer support seemed to indicate that it was a site error and that they would resolve it by the end of today. They still haven't fixed it, but I was able to get into my account somehow and add new personal information. However, if I try to go to my main page it pulls up the application window that discredits my ssn. At this point I'm worried about identity theft.
With that problem, along with the problems that go along with the site being in beta, I've been questioning the legitimacy of the company. They are, as best I can tell, federally recognized as a reporting agency, but man they aren't coming across that way. I'm hoping someone here can ease my worry and anxiety a bit about PRBC. | Is PRBC trustworthy and worth it to try and build alternate credit as part of the FICO expansion score, considering I have no credit and will be slowly building it? |
t3_42qjpg | relationships | How can I [21 M] be close to a friend [21 F] without her falling for me? | There was a girl who I always had a liked for about 5 or 6 years. Let's call her Jessica. Recently we hung out just to catch up. She had a boyfriend at the time and this fact was tearing me apart. So to get over Jessica, I found someone else and am starting to pursue that person. However, I've been getting closer to Jessica this past month. Apparently, she broke up with her boyfriend. I don't know if I was a factor for this, but I don't really want to know now. I am still trying to pursue this other girl, but I want to continue my friendship with Jessica. I don't want to vanish. I'm getting the feeling that she may be into me. I rather we stay friends, maybe even good friends. I don't want to lead her the wrong way. What can I do to be close to her without her falling for me? | I used to like Jessica, but now I am pursuing someone else. I want to be friends with Jessica, but I don't want her to fall for me. |
t3_2fgdoy | relationships | I [31m] just broke up with my GF [26f] - Im worried I dont know how to love someone - what should I do? Emo warning | I wont go into the details behind the break-up because I think the core issue was that either my girlfriend didnt love herself enough or I didnt love her enough. Whilst I think the former is true, I think that the latter is truer. Ive never felt as strongly for someone as I did my girlfriend, but Im still not sure if I truly loved her. The fact that Im questioning this could easily mean that I didnt. Im more worried because Im still asking this question after 31 years of life and multiple relationships. Reddit, how do I know if Im capable of loving or not? I care and have cared deeply about people in my life but when it comes to relationships Ive never once gone 'Hell yes this is the person I want forever'. Its not from lack of opportunity - am I unlucky or broken? How do I find out? | 31 years old, never felt true love - how do I find out if Im unlucky or broken? |
t3_16gd7e | relationships | I [21f] am too hurted and disappointed when my boyfriend [23m] watches porn. | *Hurt.
Hi, I made a throwaway because he's a redditor too.
We've been dating for a year. We started living together 3 months ago, because we were in a LDR and I moved in. Our sex is great, I mean, we have sex almost every day even twice some days. I am a very depressive girl with a really low self-esteem, and he knows that pretty well (he has always helped me with that).
When we were in a LDR, it was normal to think that he watched porn, I tried not to think that a lot, because it made me very sad, but I understood it. But about a week ago he told me that he had watched porn while I was sleeping. I couldn't be more mad, sad, hurted and disappointed. I was like 'wtf man why didn't you wake me up?' Really, I prefer a billion things before him masturbating behind me in our room. And I told him. We argued because, accoding to him, watching porn is very healthy and everybody does it. Well: I don't. And I don't like him watching those girls being anal-fucked. Really. It's disgusting. I feel like he doesn't like me anymore, even though I know that's not true. He told me that he was never going to do it again, but I know that if he does it again, he wouldn't tell me in order to not hurt me.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm over-reacting but I really feel this way. I wish I could be that perfect girlfriend who doesn't care if he watches porn and even encourages him to do it but I seriously can't. I feel betrayed and I don't even know why.
I want to be less jealous. Well, I'd prefer that he didn't have the need of watching porn, but... What should I do? I don't want to lose him for being such a jealous and boring girlfriend.
Thanks in advance. | My boyfriend watched porn while I was sleeping and I feel like I'm not enough for him. |
t3_2njwb4 | tifu | TIFU by hitting my sister with a jet ski | Me and my family were taking a trip to a campground. We had brought our jet skis along as well as our camper. We were gonna stay for six four days. So after getting set up for the first day, it was too late to ride the jet skis that day. I was pretty disappointed, but I digress. On the second day we ordered pizza and ate. PIZZA. I love Pizza.
Skip to the third day and I immediately get up and proceed to hop on the jet ski. Imagine me, 15 years old and shredding through the waters on this magnificent piece of beastness I run out of gas in the middle of the lake... Let me clarify, I ran out of gas in the place where all of the ships boats have to go through to get onto the lake. I am stuck and no boats to go through.
Anyways, nothing came of this. What really happened was I switched the tank to reserve. And headed of to land. I devoured the pizza like a ravished penguin bandit leader, But I digress. We filled up the Jet Skis and headed out again. I began doing donuts while my mom and sister were on the other and doing God knows what. I turn around and continue full steam ahead. My mom pulls right out in front of me and stops, you can't stop on jet skis as they have no brakes.
So here I am, going atleast 20 mph (32 kph) and I hit my sister with the jet ski. The jet ski had apparently gone over the foot shield on the other and hit her in the leg. She gets launched off, my mom beings to scream bloody murder and my dad just stands there silently on the shore. My sister begins to cry. And I jump into the lake to try to get my sister back to shore. I swim my sister to shore and proceed to put her in the car for immediate transfer to the hospital.
So at the hospital she gets there and by the time she gets to hospital and is walking around. She is walking and they are about to come back to the campground. Then she passes out, I digress though. | Hit my sister with a jet ski. She got hurt |
t3_3pq8do | relationships | Me [23M] with my GF [24F] of 4 years, her friend may be convincing her to cheat on me. | Hey people of Reddit!
My girlfriend (Anna) and I have met in university at a party, we ended up hitting it off and that was pretty much the kick start of what I can only describe as the greatest 4 years of my life. She's truly an amazing person, I love her and I can truly see this going into marriage someday.
However, she has a friend (lets call her Sarah) who isn't very fond of me, to this day I have no clue why and I've tried to get her to be on better terms but to no avail, she wont budge. Throughout our relationship Sarah has always tried to set my GF up with a friend of hers or some guy she met off Tinder, Anna has declined these offers and continues to.
Last week Sarah came over for dinner and while I was making some food I overheard Sarah talking to Anna about her recent string of sexcapades with dudes she hooked up with, she made constant remarks about how they were a lot buffer than I was, taller than I was. I go to the gym regularly and while I don't have a rock hard set of abs, I'm fit. Anyhow after that painfully awkward dinner me and Anna went to bed.
Three days later after that night Anna sat me down and asked me what would happen if she accidentally cheated on me and after a silent stare of anger from me she asked me if she could give the casual hookup lifestyle a try for a while, I was livid and told her to get out immediately. Our sex life is pretty great, we have sex almost everyday and try new things. I am honestly territorial in the sense that I don't want another man in or around her womanly regions.
Since then she's been texting and calling me non stop claiming that it was a joke and that I'm going to have to open up to the idea of other bringing other partners into the bedroom, fuck no.
I truly do love her but I'm no push over, what should I do? | My girlfriend's friend Sarah, is constantly trying to sabotage our relationship and it may be working... |
t3_2nbdfl | relationships | Me [21 M] having trouble getting over ex [20 F] even though its been a over 7 months. | Hey everyone, I broke up with my ex about about 7 months ago or so, I struggled with it terribly for the first few months, don't want to go into detail but it was bad.
Anyways after about 4 months I finally started to move on and stopped caring eventually. I hardly thought about her anymore, or at least not a quarter as much as I used to. But recently I've fixed my old PC that I had when I was still with her and I forgot my hard drive had all of my old journal entries about her and old pictures and reminders of things we did together and suddenly my heart started pounding and I felt miserable all over again, it felt like we just broke up again and I could hardly breathe.
I dont look up anything about her, I havent talked to her in months. I hadnt even seen a picture of her for about 6 months before I turned on my old PC, but I'm apparently still struggling with it whether I realize it or not. She wasn't a nice person and we had a terrible relationship for the last few months, she made me miserable but I still have lingering feelings and I have NO IDEA why.
Since we broke up I got a job, started going to school again, got a few girls numbers and finally started flirting and talking to women after waiting for months. I have regained a social life.
What can I do to make these shit feelings go away? Some of my friends told me it took years for them to get over girls and that just terrifys me, I hate thinking about her and it hurts badly. I know there aren't shortcuts but I thought doing what I'm doing now would help and it just seems like it hasn't. Please help me. | Thought I was over my ex, guess I wasn't. Improving my life isn't helping like everyone said it would, what do I do now? |
t3_2ihzb4 | tifu | TIFU by using my debit card! | Today at 9am I went to Starbucks to get my breakfast, I got a regular tall coffee and croissant. When I tried using my debit card it got declined, I knew that I had sufficient money so I tried again and it got declined again.
I don't carry cash and didn't have my credit card with me so I started saying that I want to return my breakfast. Everyone in line started giving me these dirty looks. Out of nowhere this woman came to the front and took care of the bill, I thanked her profusely!
I went about my day still very unsure why my card got declined. I called home and my twin picked up the phone. I told her the entire story and she said that she cancelled her debit card because she lost it this morning. The bank only took her dob and home number (we share the same dob and number). This meant that our bank accidently cancelled my card instead of hers. | CARRY CASH SON!! |
t3_53lbq0 | relationships | [26M] long-distance boyfriend has a strange attitude toward watching television with me [28F] | First of all, long-distance relationship here. About five hours apart, but same time zone. We're coming up on our three-year anniversary; been apart for about four months.
One of the things we really loved to do when we were in the same city was watch television together. We have about one designated show a night that we really enjoy, and it's a good way to unwind.
Now that we are apart, however, it's becoming a weird strain on our relationship because he wants to watch the shows at the same time over Skype, and he doesn't want to "get behind" (meaning he wants to watch the shows later on the night they air). However, our schedules aren't really compatible. I work a normal 8-5; he usually works past 8pm. I need to be in bed early to wake up early to commute; he doesn't have a commute, so that's not an issue.
We DVR/tape all our shows, so we have them, but he doesn't seem to get that I can't just pop the television on at ten at night (I live with people who keep different schedules) and then stay up an hour to watch a show. (Which would probably be longer, because we would want to talk about the show.) I think he gets hurt feelings because this was easier in the summer - we only had one show, and it was on Netflix so we didn't have any time restrictions. With all our shows coming back (I'd say we have about six), I don't understand how I can be expected to watch 1-2 shows a night when it's taking me past my bedtime (lol, I know, but it's a long commute to get there on time).
How do you all recommend dealing with this stress? I think it'd be fine to watch the shows at our own pace and just talk about them on a weekend Skype date, but the last time I brought that up, he seemed kind of sullen about it, like I was trying to blow him off. Help? | Long-distance boyfriend insists on watching our shows together, but our schedules make it difficult. |
t3_307fkg | tifu | TIFU by playing what are the odds | This was today surprisingly enough(on mobile sorry for formatting issues)
Let's being with some context for those of you that don't know what this game is. An action is chosen such as yelling out a swear word and then then the two players will agree on certain "odds" is 1-10, 1-20 etc one person will count down from 3 then both players will say a number in between those two if the number matches the person being challenged has to do the action.
Here is where the story begins me and my friends were coming back from lunch and our one friend will not stop farting (this isn't unusual) I challenge him to what are the odds that he farts into our schools PA system. He agrees and he chooses 1-10 long story short he had to fart into the PA system we get to school he walks in and asked to make an announcement for badminton or something. Here's where TF happens he walks in and turns on the PA system let's out the loudest fart ever and he gets detention but our VP was so unimpressed she made him fill out some sort of incident report form and he ratted us out in it me and my other friend got a 1 day in school suspension! | played what are the odds friend farted into our PA system and got a suspension |
t3_4inalh | relationships | Me [28 F] with my boyfriend [28 M] two years, should we pay for everything equally if I make less but have more savings? | My boyfriend and I are looking to rent an apartment for a few years before finding a permanent residence. He makes more than double my salary. I have been saving a lot of my money. When I say I have a lot, I have a lot, as in a big inheritance where using some of it for rent for a few years wouldn't make much of a dent.
He wants to live somewhere nicer, but I would have to start digging into my savings to pay half the rent while he would be using his paycheck and have leftover money to spare. He also has some money in retirement, but less than what I have in savings and retirement combined. We don't have any debts.
I'm unsure if my savings should be going into for monthly payments. I want to use my savings for a house and have enough for medical emergencies and other large purchases. That house may someday be ours, but my savings doesn't feel like ours right now. Our relationship is perfect, and we have said marriage is possible for us in the future, but I am hesistant about investing in us before marriage and feel like we should keep our savings out of the equation for now.
Am I wrong, and if I am, help me see it from another perspective? Also, should I even be telling him how much I have in my savings? | Should we pay for everything equally if I make less but have more in savings? |
t3_zjog3 | AskReddit | I met a girl at a party... what do I do now!!? Please advise! | Hola Reddit!
So here's the deal- I went with a friend to his fraternities party, and I met this wonderful girl there, and we really hit it off. We were dancing and talking for a while but eventually her and her friends wanted to leave (does it matter that this was their first time "out" ever?)
So anyway they left but before they did we traded numbers (and last names too so we can find each other on facebook)
So the question is what do I do now! I like her, and I'd like to get to know her better, but I don't want to be a creeper either. Should I wait for her to text/ friend request me? If not how long should I wait? | Met a girl at a party, we hit it off, traded numbers, I want to see her again but how long should I wait to text her/ what should I do? |
t3_137h4h | dating_advice | [20M] Did I miss my chance? What can/should I do? | Hey guys, just looking for a bit of advice for my situation, sorry if it's a bit long. Little bit of background, I'm a 20 year old guy, interested in a 20 year old female friend, we are both juniors and both attend the same university.
Okay, so we've been friends since freshman year, and things have always been going pretty smoothly. We both suffer from social anxiety/depression, and have a lot of interests (politics, shows, movies, music, etc.) in common.
Over the years she always joked that we "were pretty much a chick flick" and would end up getting together despite anything that came up. Even when we got drunk and made out this semester (3 separate times), I still kinda laughed the 'chick flick' thing off, but somewhere I knew she was right and we were getting a lot closer together. Anyway, she started getting a bit more hormonal, and when I was away for a weekend she slept with a mutual friend of ours. This is where the problem started.
It became more than a one-time thing, and while they aren't exactly dating, they're at least friends with benefits. She's even said she wasn't really into him at first, but now she likes the FWB. She also said she only got with him to start with because she wanted to lose her virginity, and I didn't put out enough.
It's gotten to the point where I know I'm interested in her, and I'm getting upset seeing her be FWBs with my friend. I want to tell her how I feel because I feel very strongly that we would work well together (not to mention that my friend is very judgmental towards people who drink, people who need anti-depressants, etc., and has made her very upset/cry multiple times with his statements).
Can anyone help me figure out what I should say to her? I'd like to prevent things from getting super awkward if possible, but I don't feel like I can stand around doing nothing anymore... | Female friend was willing to move further, I was unsure, she starts being FWB with a friend, I know I'm interested now, what do I do. |
t3_21o1vn | relationships | Im (16F) having second thoughts about boyfriend of two months (18M) | Hey! So I met my boyfriend (Ted) two weeks before I went on a missions trip to Mexico for three months. We really hit it off so we decided to do Long distance.
Now I'm two months into the trip and I go home in three weeks. We talk on the phone like 3 or more times a week and I always enjoy talking to him. This is a first real relationship for the both of us, and we both take these things pretty seriously. So I've been falling in love with him since I met him, or whatever "love" is for a 16 year old.i told him this and he said he felt the same way. The problem is like once a week, I'll suddenly get second thoughts, and think that I've made a terrible mistake.
Is this just silly scared of commitment issues, or is this not normal? I don't know how most relationships are at the start, but should I be thinking like this early on? Should I wait tell I get home and then see how I feel?
I'm just really scared that I'll have to hurt him, and i feel like I'm already to deep since I told him that I loved him and since we've been doing long distance for 2 months. | second thoughts early on in the relationship |
t3_2964tu | relationships | Me 23M how to feel about people that are just mean to you? | I'm using a throwaway account since the person I'm talking about reads reddit.
I feel like I get really anxious when someone is mean to me and there isn't a reason for it. Yesterday morning, for example, I saw someone who I used to be friends with but haven't seen in a while. They said "hi" in such an abruptly dismissive way that I felt they hadn't heard me, so I introduced myself louder and they had their back turned and kept walking and said hi. It was really awkward and extremely rude and ruined pretty much the rest of my day.
I didn't see any reason for this person to do this to me. I didn't know I had done something to them (or offended them in any way). I'm honestly not sure what to do. I just checked and they defriended me on Facebook, and I honestly don't have any idea why: the last time we spoke we were joking and having fun, I don't possibly see how I could have done something to upset them.
All in all I feel really upset something like this happens to me, and I get really anxious about it. I don't even know what to do, at first I thought about sending them a facebook message asking what I had done to hurt their feelings, but I'm not even sure I want a response. | Someone who used to be a friend turned their back on me, was extremely dismissive and rude, and unfriended me on facebook and I have no idea why, feeling really upset at myself and anxious because I don't know what I did to offend them |
t3_2beotq | relationships | Me [18M] and my Girlfriend [15F] are in a relationship that feels like a friendship. Help! | Okay a bit of back story.
I have been going out with this Latvian girl for a couple weeks now and I am absolutely loving it, just one problem. When I saw her on Sunday it was fun we laughed and joked and it was good and then she had to head in so I left earlier than planned. Everything was okay but when I went in for the kiss she said she can't because she was sick....but the entire day she felt fine. She said that when the sun came out it made her feel sick again, so I didn't kiss her ....
Later that day I started talking to her and she said that coffee and running helped her feel better and she was telling me about how she was playing football later that day..
I was cool with all that but now I feel like her friend instead of her boyfriend we haven't kissed or held hands none of that shit.. So I don't know is she attracted to me is or is this normal.... | basically it seems like we are more friends than FRIENDS!! |
t3_2j8ek8 | jobs | Learning the hard way: make my resume CLEAR | I just want to share my story and help others to prevent them making the same mistakes as I did.
Few weeks ago, I got called in for an interview (through networking), it was a very well paid job. Coming from an hourly-base, minimum wage job, it was like a dream job for me. After 1.5 hour of conversing and talking about myself, we finally part ways. Right before we did, he mentioned "Out of our 16 candidates, I haven't seen anyone with your qualities; you did very well in the interview today, and I am going to have my recruiters reach out to you ASAP.
Fast-forward, 23 hours later, he personally called me. He sounded pissed. He questioned about my resume, why did I put X, Y, & Z (I don't know why he didn't see this before), and it was a bit misleading. I spent 30 minutes explaining myself, and also I made a simple mistake on my application. Now I think he is questioning about my performance.
Good luck with job searching out there! | Didn't get the job because my resume was unclear. |
t3_1li6q4 | relationships | Girlfriend [17F] of 9 months heading off to university, whilst I [18M] am staying home. Advice for long(ish) distance? | First time poster on this sub. Look forward to reading your comments! :)
I've been with my girlfriend since the end of December 2012. We have gone through so much together with being seniors in high school and all the drama about prepping for the future. She's helped me find my way and support my plans for the future and I've done the same for her, she's heading to university now when in December she didn't even think she would be graduating.
She will be moving to a small townhouse with another roommate about 20min from her university in Toronto, Canada. I am staying at home.
I literally just got home from dropping her off at her current house; she is packing and moving throughout the next few days. We spent the latter part of the evening in tears on her couch, which is big because she doesn't cry all that much.
Her house she will be moving to is probably only a 40+/- minute drive from my place, so not unfeasible by any means, but in comparison to the current 7 minutes is a lot.
She has been in a long distant relationship before with her previous boyfriend, however their relationship wasn't good at all. She wasn't happy with him and he treated her like garbage, so I understand her apprehension.
We both are willing to try it, and I know it's going to be a big change for both of us and not necessarily easy. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :) | Gf [17F] of 9 months moving & heading to university, but I [18M] am staying home. Advice for long distance. |
t3_kw97o | AskReddit | So Reddit, what are your horror stories with Geek Squad? (Or similar companies) | So I bought the Asus gj3jh laptop at Best Buy under a year ago. It is a beast of a laptop for sure. Over the months it has overheated (With external cooling fan in place) which I find wrong. I know laptops are not great at keeping cool but it has monster exhaust. It has blue screened and randomly shut down. The best part is that that trying to update the video card causes all sorts of problems. (Have yet to find fix for that) Including crashing and shutting down during games or even boot up.
Now these problems are something i'm willing to deal with normally. But I paid over $300 dollars for warranty, which I was told would cover pretty much everything. So I bring it in to Geek Squad and tell them my issues. They do diagnostics, takes about a week. Tell me the only problem is multiple infections and they can remove them for.... I shit you not $130. RAHHHHHHHHH. That is complete and utter horse shit. I am computer savvy to say the least and I have worked in the IT field. I'm not superior in any means but I think I know enough that a few infections didn't cause this. My $300 fucking warranty doesn't do me jack. They are pan handling people and it should be illegal. AVG and Malewarebytes should remove most. If not I could even buy Norton or something for less, if I was desperate.
I needed to rant about this, I had no idea Geek Squad was such a rip off. If it wasn't a laptop and under "warranty" I would of done something about it myself. (I have reformatted it 2x within these months with no change in the occurrence of these problems.) I'm not looking for a solution just want to know if anyone else has been screwed as well. | I brought my laptop to Geek Squad while under warranty and they tried to rob me blind. |
t3_2blv3k | personalfinance | Tips for a freelancer with serious risk aversion? | I work in a creative field as a freelancer and I've been able to comfortably support myself for about 6 years. In fact, I do well enough that I have a year of disposable income sitting around in my bank account.
My minimum, monthly expenses are about 2k, and living at my current lifestyle it's about 3k. Some of the difference I need to cutback spending on, such as going out / buying clothes, etc. A lot of it is business expenses like major software and computer purchases, insurance, etc.
I have about 30k (and 4k in outstanding paychecks due) just sitting in my bank account right now, not doing anything. I have no outstanding debt and (at long last) I am making regular IRA contributions which I will easily max for the year.
I suppose I am nervous to spend such a large emergency fund because of the uncertain nature of freelancing. Nonetheless, 1yr + is a little crazy. What should I do with all this extra cash? | As a relatively stable freelancer, how much disposable income should I leave in my bank account? |
t3_1tuqpn | relationships | F (27), M (29) Possible Gay Friend Of Ours Seems Sexually Interested In Boyfriend | My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years. We have a friend which I was good friends with first, that has hit it off with my boyfriend as well. I don't really talk that much to our friend anymore and I don't know if it is because we've grown apart or he is actually more interested in my boyfriend. I know before we started dating, our possible gay friend seemed unusually interested in a friendship with my boyfriend. A previous female friend of ours thought he was gay as well and other people have commented they think he is too. I didn't think he was but now after seeing how he interacts with my boyfriend, honestly, at times it makes me a little uncomfortable. I originally thought he had a straight guy crush, you know, just where he thinks the guy is cool, but now I am wondering if these is actually a sexual element. It bothers me because I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking a lot to a girl that wants a relationship with him, why would I want a possible guy male doing the same? My boyfriend and I don't have any restrictions on who we can be friends with but to be honest...this guy's attitude towards him seems kind of weird. What should I do? | Friend of my boyfriend and me seems to be interested sexually in my boyfriend. Don't know what to do. |
t3_1tnb0h | pettyrevenge | Bitchy Lady at Starbucks | Bitchy Lady at Starbucks
be at starbucks.
Some lady was being rude and trying to go in front of people because "she was in a hurry."
also being rude to workers and telling them they're being too slow.
Tell the Lady in front to wait for her drink like everyone else, and its christmas eve and theyre working the best they can today.
She tells me to fuck off pretty much and tells me how she would rather tell the workers how slow they're being to their faces than write a survey about it.
Can see it in their faces that they want to tell off this woman but they can't.
herotime.jpeg.
I tell this lady to wait in line and shut the fuck up, and she asks if I want to take it outside.
mom pipes up and tells her that she would happily let me go outside and whoop her ass if she wanted me to, and just because she's a woman doesn't mean she can threaten me and talk shit.
woman threatens to call cops on us for me harassing her.
mom points out that my mom would wish she would call the cops, because she just threatened a minor.
lady shuts up real quick and pays for her drink before cowering into the bathroom.
All three guys thank my mom and I for putting her into her place.
Comp our drinks and my coffee cake.
lady comes out of bathroom and is expecting her drink to be made, but the Batista dude "accidentally" messes up on her drink and has to make it again, taking up more of her time.
Guy says he will make it again but he will finish our drinks first because they were next in the line.
I have the biggest smug expression on my face and my mom and I get our drinks and walk towards the door.
manager guy stops us on way out and slips us a couple of free drink coupons and thanks us for dealing with that lady, because they get people like that all the time.
What a good way to start off Christmas eve.
Feelsgoodman.jpeg | Stand up to loud obnoxious bitchy lady for Starbucks workers and get our drinks comped and free drink coupons. |
t3_10cqka | GetMotivated | Can you share your philosophy on life? | Here is mine. I believe it is very important to enjoy where and what you are in the present moment. I consider myself to be a fairly ambitious person and I work very hard, at the moment I am in medical school and will be a doctor in a few years. With this I find myself constantly looking to the next step. In high school I kept fantasizing about how great college would be. In undergrad I dreamed about getting a spot in med school, now in med school I can't wait until residency, once in residency I'm sure I will be eager to become an attending and bring in the big bucks, eventually I'm sure I'll find myself looking forward to retirement. But something I've noticed recently is I look back fondly on the previous steps. Even though I hated parts high school there are other parts I miss.. The simplicity, football after class, smoking cigarettes behind the dumpster and nearly choking to death. I miss undergrad so much and the excitement of college life and everything that comes with it. I find myself thinking now man I wish I could go back to those days but then I realized man pretty soon I'll probably look back on what I'm doing right now and miss these days too. I think it's good to miss the old days because it means they were good, I also think its important to remember we will miss these days eventually also and to just slow down and take it all in instead of being in a rush to get to the future. All of our journeys are different and the steps we take are all different but in the end they all lead us to the same place which is death, if you can look back when you are at that final step and think fondly of the journey that got you there then I think your life has been a success. | Enjoy where you are because someday you will miss being there. |
t3_4jzcpb | relationship_advice | She says she is scared of getting hurt again? [18/M] [18/F] | The other day my friend told a girl (we're both 18 and in highschool still) about me over text (I wasn't aware that he did this at the time), to which she looked me up on instagram and found me attractive right away. I met her at a party the following weekend and we seemed to hit it off well (we were both pretty smashed). The following days we texted quite a bit. However, we somehow got on the topic of her ex boyfriends which escalated into her saying she isn't ready for a relationship. She said she's scared of being hurt or hurting someone again. After the convo ended she hasn't responded to my last text.
I asked some of my friends who know about her old relationships, and they admitted that she had had some bad breakups.
I'm confused, it seemed like everything was going well, conversation was easy between us and we find each other mutually attractive. I saw her in school today and she seemed very normal with me.
Should I move on from this girl? Or wait around? I really enjoyed talking to her and she's very pretty. | I like a girl but she says she's scared of getting hurt again. Do I move on from her?? |
t3_3fk8tm | relationships | Should I tell him [19 M] that I [19 F] have feelings for him. | Okay I started working at this restaurant a couple months ago. A couple weeks after working at this store, I met my coworker Tim. I really liked him when I met him. He is funny, cool, we both like the same movies and he is just a great guy. He is also incredibly kind and sweet. We also vent to each other when we are stressed about work and stuff.
Now I talked to my friend and she said he has nothing but good things to say about me and that he thinks I am funny. Now she thinks it is possible he could like me but I think he likes me platonically. He also says he likes being single.
We have talked casually about other girls and I am pretty sure he is attracted to them not me. In all honesty, it is not hard to see why. I am overweight (5'6" and 190 lbs) and he probably isn't attracted to me. Now I am losing the weight but that takes time. Should I just tell him how I feel? I don't want to weird him out by being that fat chick with a crush on him, but the best way to get over him would be to tell him how I feel, right?
Btw, I quit working at this place but we keep in touch a lot. | I have a crush on my former coworker and do not know if I should tell him. Should I just tell him in order to make getting over him easier? |
t3_uyeb6 | relationships | Worried that my boyfriend bases our entire relationship on sex... | Relationship is just over a year old, I am 20f, he is 22m.
Earlier this year he asked me to move into his place with his parents over the summer, because in September he is going to school, and I will be going to school for my final year as well. So I took the summer off from my job and am living in his house with his family.
We were talking today about his friend and his girlfriend who have been going out for around 3 years now and my boyfriend mentioned that they probably haven't had sex yet. My boyfriend and I had sex after 2 months of dating... I asked him how far we would have gotten if we had never had sex and he said that I probably wouldn't have moved in this summer if we hadn't.
So then I asked him what would happen to us if I started to abstain. He just got his cute pouty face on and said that he enjoys our physical side. Then he said that he would probably just ignore me and throw himself into his hobbies so that he doesn't think about sex, or me.
I thought that he had asked me to move in because he loves me... but now it feels like he only asked me to move in because it's easier to have sex whenever he wants it. The sex itself is completely one-sided too... We've been sexually active for 10 months and I haven't been able to orgasm with him once.
So, it's like I said. I used to believe that he wanted me here because he loves me, but now I think he's mostly concerned about sex. I know that he cares about me a lot; he says so and shows me so. But this has really shaken my entire view of our relationship. Any advice on how I can get over this? | Boyfriend said he would ignore me if I abstained from sex, and that he wouldn't have asked me to move in this summer if we weren't sexually active. Thoughts? |
t3_4oeto6 | Advice | Feeling horribly guilty and anxious about telling my boss (who is a good friend) I'm quitting | Throwaway username for obvious reasons.
I am in a professional healthcare position, but I'm relatively young in my career. Straight out of school (doctoral-level), I got my current job. I've been there now for right at a year, and while I love my job and my coworkers, there are a few downsides. First, I have to commute nearly an hour each way on a busy, dangerous interstate. My office is about 50 miles from my home. Also, while I have excellent benefits and some flexibility to my schedule, I'm grossly underpaid for my position.
That being said, I've been pretty happy and wasn't actively looking for another job; however, I was just offered a job with much better pay, plus it's a telehealth (work-from-home) type job. This is huge considering I just had a baby and hate being so far away from her at my current job. My husband and I feel like this job is a better fit for me right now, but I'm feeling extreme anxiety and guilt over telling my boss. My boss has become a good friend in the time I've been here and has been so good to me. Not to mention I already feel bad because she and her husband have been going through a really hard time trying to have (and keep) a baby, and my husband and I came up pregnant unexpectedly a few months after I started my job and now have a healthy baby girl. I already had to break the news that I was pregnant, now here I am again with upsetting news. I just got back from a 6 week maternity leave about a month ago.
Also I should mention that our clinic is not very large, so if I leave right now (my job offer wants me to start in two weeks), it leaves her with a ton of extra work until she finds my replacement. Which may take a while - this is not a field that people frequently job-hop. I'm making myself sick over the stress of telling her. But I know deep down that this is the right move for us. Help! Any advice about how to handle this awkward, horrible situation?
I've seriously considered turning down the job offer just to save us both this heartache. | My boss is wonderful and a good friend who is having personal problems of her own - now I have to break the news that I'm leaving for another job after only one year. |
t3_10cqx4 | relationship_advice | Not enough time together? (F21/M21) | Hey Reddit,
So I'll make this quick--My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, but are in a very serious and loving relationship. We attend different universities in the same city. We have both been very busy (engineering/math/jobs/extracurriculars), and it takes roughly 40 minutes to get to each other via public transportation. Anyway, we see each other on the weekends, and he usually comes to my place at least once during the week. However, lately I've just been exhausted--feeling like any free time I have should be devoted to working, studying, etc. I am completely in love with him and LOVE spending time with him, but I'm just starting to notice myself having less and less opportunities to see him.
I actually feel guilty for not having as carefree a schedule as I did prior to meeting him. On top of this, I often find myself apologizing to him and just straight up asking if I'm frustrating him.
So, does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep our relationship stress-free and..well..a thing?
Thanks! :D | My SO and I live ~40 minutes apart with busy and conflicting schedules. Looking for some advice on managing our time together |
t3_m042w | AskReddit | Would you help me out? | I've been looking for the link to the 4chan post. Its a very detailed and elaborate plan to have sex with a girl where the guy grows a beard and tans with a ring on his finger and then takes it off to make it look like a ring used to be there. Then he goes and lays in the girl's room naked with cuts on his back and convinces her he's from a future where he's married to her and the world is ending because of it. He tells her to not marry him to save the world, his selflessness makes her want his balls and they have sex. Link would be very much appreciated! | Guy pretends to be from the future to get laid, I needs the link for it please. |
t3_1jm4zi | relationships | Me[20M] and my crush [20F] in engineering class | Hi all,
I'm in studying electrical engineering with a class of about 40 people three of which are girls. There is this one girl in particular that I'd like to 'get to know better'.
We're friends on Facebook. She added me first because, well, she's really socially competent, unlike myself. I've helped her on assignments but every time she initiates the conversation on Facebook chat. I can't help but wonder if she's only talking to me because she just wants help on her assignment or is just being friendly. I have no doubt that she actually needs help on the questions that she asks. I should point out that she's at the top of the class and assumes that I'm at the top as-well (which i'm not).
In lectures she sits with guys at the front. Probably because they are her friends...
She's really nice. She's nice to everyone. She does say hi to me from time to time but whenever a conversation ensues, I can't hold it up. I just can't think of anything witty or smart to say. Obviously if I'm going to want to get closer to her, I'll need to talk to her more often. Does r/relationships have some advice on how to start a conversation with her and how to hold it?
Is there, some kind of, unique parameter to dating an engineering girl? | How do I go about dating a girl in my engineering class? |
t3_2chos6 | relationships | My SO [18F] feels like she "needs to be 18" before locking into long term relationship. | To give a little background I am [20M] she is [18F] we have know each other since we were kids and have been dating for almost a year now. She is incredibly honest and open.
So... she wants to kiss/make out with another guy who she works with because she feels a strong attraction to him. She says its not really a physical or emotional attraction, just that it is a strong attraction. She proposed that we have a few days to "hookup" with other people, never more than once and have it never mean anything. To me this seemed weird and not something I would do. She tried explaining it to me as wanting to feel 'first kiss' again and be young. But she also says she is incredibly in love with me and wants to be with me for the rest of her life.
I was not open to the idea, because I don't feel those same needs.
I could not understand for the life of me why she wanted to do it and why she would regret it if she didn't. I've told her I was not okay with it, but I am looking for some input.
Thanks! | My SO wants to kiss another guy before continuing into our serious relationship. |
t3_2nfdko | relationships | Girl asked me to study with her. She doesn't even need my help. Is she interested? | I [20 M] am in college and a girl [20 F] in my class recently asked me if I wanted to study for the final exam together. I already know this girl. I had lunch with her one year ago, but nothing came out of it. She didn't seem interested at the time, so I stopped trying to pursue her. Since then we've only been slightly acquainted (saying hi, texting about homework, etc). I guess you could say we've been "hallway" friends.
Anyway, after she asked me to study, I asked if she wanted to meet during thanksgiving break since there wouldn't be much pressure to get things done. She said no, because she didn't want to do any studying during the break and wanted to relax. She offered to meet two days before the exam, and I reluctantly agreed.
She is quite studious, smart, and even a bit quirky. The thing that sticks out is, the class is super easy and doesn't need any outside explanation. She could easily study for it without me. She probably knew I was interested in her a year ago when we had lunch, and drew away from me afterwards. I found it surprising that she asked to study with me even when she knows I might still be interested in her.
By the way, she asked me in front of a mutual male friend during a sudden conversation between the three of us, if that makes any difference. Also, before she brought it up, she texted me for help on a paper due in class. I guess she feels comfortable with me at this point, but I have so much trouble reading her and how she feels about me.
We meet up to study in two weeks, though we'll still see each other during the few remaining class days we have. Is she interested in a closer friendship or even a relationship? Also, would it be too much to offer my apartment as a place to study? I have the ability to cook dinner for us if that would be appropriate) I would want a long term relationship if anything happened. She's also not the hook-up type of girl, so please don't suggest me making a move for sex. Any input is appreciated.
Thank you for your time! | Had lunch with a girl one year ago. She wasn't interested at the time. We happen to have the same class this semester. She texts me for help with a paper. The same week, she asks to study with me for the final. She really doesn't need to study with me because the easy and she is smart. Is she interested? |
t3_4lj2qh | relationship_advice | Confused how to keep this friendship going | I (M24) and my best friend (F22) have run into a bit of a snag. Now to make a long story short we had been together for a year and we decided to go back to being friends.
I took it a little hard and at first tried to end the friendship because she was making me feel like I wasn't even part of her life. We worked through it and things seemed okay she made a point we both needed some space.
Recently though I talked to her about how I barely feel like a part of her life and how she makes me feel like a stranger it was like we were barely friends. Suddenly she starts telling me she barely feels like we're friends and she hates it but she still wants space.
All I have to say is wtf does that mean. | was in a relationship with best friend broke up and tried to give each other space but space made us both feel like we were barely friends. What do I do? |
t3_15cj1e | relationships | FINAL UPDATE: I, F[18], fell in love with a M[29] when I was only [7] and he was [18]. Please read.. | [Original Thread]( | Parents and brother were fine with it, but he still wants to wait till im 21. I'm going to do what makes him comfortable and I know in 3 years I will be the happiest woman alive. |
t3_216vby | relationships | Me [24 F] with my ex [23 M] 3 months decided it was best to end things, still hung up on his ex. | In January, he broke up with his ex of 2ish years because she moved away. We started seeing eachother in February, while he told me he didn't want anything serious, and I agreed, things still got pretty intimate (emotionally) really quickly.
We just clicked and were having a good time and are impulsive people.
Fast-forward to now, he has reignited speaking with her and while we have a great time together, I can feel hesitation on his end to get close to me. I ended things today and he agreed it would be for the best.
ALSO, we work together but are deciding to continue with our working relationship as it is salvageable right now and have decided that maybe in the future something can happen as there is something special between us.
Did I make the right decision? Should I have stuck it out? | Guy I was dating has feelings for both his ex and I but I ended things anyway. Was this the right move? |
t3_1nyeug | relationships | Why don't I [19/F] like to kiss my [21/M] boyfriend of about a month? Please help. | I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about 2 months, but we've only been dating for one. I really like him, he's a great guy... I just get so grossed out when he kisses me.
I don't really like the technique (too much tongue) but I just feel like it's more than that. I don't get that dizzying electric feeling like I've had with other guys.
I'm scared that this is going to come between us, and I've already tried to tell him that I would rather have him use less tongue. He told me that he was just teaching me a better way to kiss and that was that. (He's very considerate and thoughtful otherwise.) | I get grossed out with kissing my boyfriend, I'm not entirely sure why. Any ideas to help me out? |
t3_2wghaf | tifu | TIFU by quitting my job. | Sadly this happened about a few weeks ago and not today.
But basically I had a steady job at a restaurant. Management was crappy and always pushed you to do more than you should and assumed that your life is only work. Realizing it was a dead end place I applied to many other places. Got two interviews out of that and one led to two more interviews along with meeting the team. I found that to be very promising and a sign that I will get the job. Next day I went to work and bam! quit my job right then and there believing I was a phone call away from the other.
It was clean leave, no fuss and issues about it. Next day, I received an email expressing thanks for the time but we will not be hiring you.
I was devastated and it kind of just went downhill from there. I work a decent courier job but it's not enough to pay for my things, and by March 14th, I'll be homeless | Quit my job, had two interviews was not hired at either. Now my GF may leave me and I'll be homeless in a month. |
t3_2ht2dj | relationship_advice | [24/m] started dating [20/f] is this going anywhere? | So I met this girl on Tinder, we go on a coffee date which goes great, she invites me to this dance party at her university a couple days later, we didn't drink at all, we dance for hours we are all over each other and she is loving it, she invites me to her apartment, I kiss her and she doesn't like it and kicks me out. We talk about it via text later that night, she said she isn't used to physical relationships and wanted to just take it slow, she texts me a couple days later and I end up watching a movie at her house and just cuddling, I was pretty leery about kissing her. So is this going anywhere? How do I proceed from here? If it's not going anywhere I'll gladly move along. | I tried to kiss a girl and she didn't like it, is it just over now? |
t3_3g4glo | relationships | The finance manager [30s F] at my [26 F] company shared private information with me. How bad is this? | I work at a fairly small company, around 20 employees. It's owned solely by our CEO and is a nice place to work.
The finance manager here is kinda ... gossipy. And bitchy, maybe. We're not close, not really friends. We sit on opposite ends of the office. She's ok, but we don't hang out outside of work. I'm not her closest friend at work, she has people she sits with and goes out for lunch with every day. So if she's said something to me, she's probably mentioned it to others.
Last week she ranted to me a bit about her salary. She told me she makes 45k GBP, which she doesn't think is enough. OK. I don't need to know this. Only she THEN tells me how much the CEO makes. She literally tells me the exact details of my bosses take-home pay. She also goes into details of another director's salary.
I am very, very uncomfortable. I've done some googling, and I think this could even be illegal (?). That could be wrong though.
Exactly how bad is this, and what will happen if I tell the CEO? Do I have to tell the CEO? I really don't want to get anyone fired or be called a troublemaker or gossip :(
Our owner is a really nice woman, she's always been very kind to all her employees. I work under her directly and get along with her well, but she's still my boss. I don't even know how to bring this up, or if I'm blowing it out of proportion completely. | finance manager told me how much my boss makes. Suspect she's told others. Do I tell my boss? How to avoid looking like a troublemaker? |
t3_lmi54 | relationships | Not enough sex? | Hi there!
I need a male perspective on this, if possible.
I'm dating an amazing guy who is wonderful to be with. We've been together for about 4 months. Our only issue? My sex drive, like the rent, is too damn high.
I don't know what to do about this. I've talked to him about it a few times, I know I have a decent body, I do all the things he likes, I try and initiate sex... but he's happy with once a week. We stay over at one another's places most nights, and I'm an every day kind of girl.
We're young - neither of us are 30 yet - and I just can't get enough of him. I find him so attractive. When we DO have sex, it's awesome. This by itself confuses me - it's so great, and we have the opportunity. Why doesn't he take advantage?
Guys, is this uncommon? What should I do? Any tips from the ladies?
Thank you for your help on this. | I want more sex, he's cool with once a week. Help! |
t3_h5z57 | AskReddit | Made a decision to not accept organized religion, Parents are Conservative Christians, do I tell them? How? | Gradually over the years I've come to the personal opinion that I don't agree with organized religion. I come from a relatively conservative Christian family. I always thought of my parents as non-judgmental, accepting people. Upon this realization, I was a little worried, but always kept it in the back of my head that they are sane, smart people, and would accept me no matter what.
The very night I was going to tell them, my grandmother, informed my parents that she had become an atheist. The way they talked about her almost made me sick. My mother talked about how she wasn't going to be saved, and my dad just sat silent with a look of disapproval. When they talk about her, they often make snide remarks about her decision. This, of course, made me shut up and not say anything about my own situation. Their behavior almost makes me ashamed. What should I do? Should I tell them? I realize my situation and atheism aren't the same thing, but it still worries me. | (Sort of) I made a choice to not follow an organized religion, a recent relative changing their religious view caused my parents to react...almost crazily. Should I tell them? Or leave it be? |
t3_2z0vso | relationships | Me [16 F] with my guy [17 M] of about 3 years, are complicated and need help.. | Basically, we've been a thing for three years. Started dating over a year ago, and we broke up this past November. It wasn't a pretty break up.
We talked off and on throughout this break up, he was depressed, so was I. Sometimes our talks were fights and sometimes they were amazing.
Recently, I finally came to a point where I was ready to let go, move on. And then..he came back.
I don't know how it happened, it happened very suddenly and extremely quickly.
All I know is that he and I were so much happier. He genuinely wanted to work things between us out. Started telling me he loved me, just genuinely wanted to work things out between us and have a healthy relationship. I could tell he meant it, I could feel it.
That lasted for about two weeks. Last weekend, he informed me that he was confused, and didn't know what he wanted. Thought a relationship was a lot of work and responsibility he didn't know if he wanted now, and needed time and space to just figure everything out.
Throughout the week he's been flirty with me on social media a bit, texted me to ask if I was okay out of nowhere, offered me a hug when he saw me crying in the hall (which was about something unrelated), and took me home.
So...I don't know what to do. I feel like I should just say "screw it" and move on, but I can't. I don't know if I should hold out hope and give him time or just..go. It's complicated and I'm confused. | Thing for three years, date over a year, bad break up, ready to move on and he comes back, truly wants to work things out, then says he's confused and doesn't know what he wants. What do I do? |
t3_a96p9 | AskReddit | Why am I being downvoted? Suggestions inside. | Almost every post and comment that I read seems to have an edit asking why they are being downvoted. Well, I don't have any magical insight, but the consensus seems to be a few things:
1. Bots. Spammers write bots that downvote all submissions except for their own.
2. Dicks. That being, human beings that do the same thing that spammers write bots to do.
3. People with different standards. This is actually my own thought with little to back it up, but people have different voting styles. I myself am a fairly passive vote, I only downvote things that are really stupid and/or likely spam, and I only upvote stuff I really like. Most of the stuff I read I don't up. Some people seem to be more active, upvote things they read and downvote things they don't find interesting enough to click on. Don't take it personally.
Also, patience is a virtue. Downvotes typically come first from 1&2, upvotes come a bit later. The fact that your submission now has a low score could mean that it gets nipped in the bud by 1&2, which sucks I guess, but that's life.
Other redditors: Am I missing/wrong about anything here? | Don't take downvotes personally, all submissions have a lot. Why do you think this happens? |
t3_uqx0l | AskReddit | What is something about you that completely contradicts the social stigma of you to be? | Coming to the end of my school year, I was just thinking about how strange this past year's been (freshman in high school). It started with a terrible relationship with a bat-shit crazy scene chick, which ended up fucking me up mentally and most aspects of my life. It ruined my relationship with my parents, which I had to gradually repair. In doing so I realized how important family is and even though I really don't like spending time at home I do realize that these last few years will be the last I really spend with my parents, especially since my brother just graduated and is never home. I always go out with my mom when she asks, I never fight about anything and even though I'm athiest I put up with my dad and his religious activities because I know it makes him happy, especially since he was real down after my parents split up circa two years ago. I try to be nice to everyone, and even strike up conversations with random elderly people who look down and seem to enjoy it very much. I realized much of my actions of trying to be my best and the nicest I can be is because of some major fucked up things that turned my life around. A lot of the kids I know are ass's to everyone and their whole family, and I know it's 'cause they're kids and will grow up, but it pains me to sometimes see the pain they cause. Sometimes I feel like I grew up too fast, but all in all I'm glad for my experiences because now I can reach my full potential and I know my parents are glad I changed from the drug-infested/immature/ass-hole kid I used to be. Sorry if I went on too long, but let me know how you guys are contradictions! | Had a fucked beginning of year, which made me realize family importance and now I do whatever I can to make my parents/other family happy, even though that is the complete opposite of most kids my age (even most of my friends). |
t3_11io26 | relationships | I [21m] still love my ex [20f], even after all this time and hurt | My girlfriend of two years broke up with me in February. It turned out to be because of bad communication, but by the time we cleared it up, someone else swooped in on her.
She stopped by for just a couple minutes yesterday to get a DVD of hers, and I realized all over again how much I miss her and still love her, even through all this extra hurt and stuff I've been through. Will it ever get better? I even dated another girl for a couple months, and none of it felt anything close to what it was like with her. | Even after eight months I still love my ex, and don't know what to do or feel anymore |
t3_4z7lc2 | personalfinance | Need some advice on marriage, closing bank accounts and closing credit cards from college associated with that bank, as well as opening up new accounts and cards with fiance. | A little background on my situation, I am 24 years old and just graduated from college with a degree in engineering. I have a job working for a firm that pays well and has good benefits. In addition, I am engaged to a woman who is going to graduate in another engineering field next fall. We plan to have a wedding in August of 2017. As for debt, I have about 38k in student loans she will have about 20k.
Banking and Credit Cards:
We currently have a joint checking and savings through US Bank and share all of our money (it is not that scary). We have one main credit card that is in my name and she is an authorized user. We tend to put any expenses on this one (1) card and pay it off every month (We have never carried a balance and do not plan to). This card has a limit of $9100 and we tend to put 2500 on it per month.
I have a bank account through a small local bank in my home town. This bank does not have any branches near me and can be difficult to add and take money out. I want to close this account along with a credit card that I had in college through them. This comes to my first question on will this credit card hurt my score and should i close it along with the account?
As for her she has a Victoria Secret Credit Card and an American Eagle Outfitters Credit Card. We use the Victoria Secret Card from time to time, but never the American Eagle Card ( We would like to cancel this Card).
Marriage:
For the most day to day items we share and pay for them with our own money. There are still a few items that her parents pay for such as (they own her college house, pay for her car, pay for her cell phone, but do not pay for her school). As of right now my parents may for my phone and insurance, but we are working on transferring those over so I may pay for them.
We want to go sign the papers and be legally married so we may get tax deduction ( I can claim her as a dependent) and we can apply for different student loan options. | How to close credit cards and pro and cons of doing so? Is getting legally married a viable way to lower tax if my fiance is still in College and we pay for our expenses together? |
t3_hx9vi | AskReddit | I'm a filmmaker. My camera was stolen. | Title says it all. The worst part is that I can't even blame anyone. I fucking wish that I was mugged at gunpoint, but nope, I accidentally left it outside my car driving home from work. I realized what I had done minutes later and booked it back, but it was gone. It was a Panasonic DVX100B, and I was seriously about to pull the trigger on selling it to upgrade to a Panasonic AG-HMC150. I feel immaculately stupid, and I'm trying my absolute best to put a stop to that and do only the right things from this point forward. I put in a police report minutes after, and today drove around to all the local pawn shops giving them the information so they could keep a lookout. One owner said he'd crack a skull for me if he found the right one. So at least I have that on my side.
The reason I'm making this post is to ask for any other advice on what to do. I want to make sure I do absolutely everything in my power. Not that I think it's likely I'll get it back, I know it's probably pretty futile, but I just want to know I did all that I could. So far I've filed the police report, gone to pawn shops, and posted on craigslist with the allure of a reward. Any other ideas? | I lost my camera in the stupidest way possible, and now am seeking advice on how to handle this in the least stupid way possible. |
t3_n52o2 | AskReddit | Dear Reddit, how old were you when you realized what you wanted to do with your life? What were the events that lead to this discovery? | The year was 2008, I had just been kicked out by an ex girlfriends father (complicated story). I had some 500 dollars to my name and ended up using most of it to pay for a room at this really crappy motel for two weeks. I had no where else to go and would end up being homeless pretty soon.
During my boredom I decided to head down to the local library and get on line. Maybe browse a little, hey I might even look at this new fangled thing called 'Reddit'. Wasn't able to sadly, so instead I browsed the rather crappy collection of books they had there. There was a 'Electronics For Dummies' book that caught my eye, I grabbed it and started browsing through it.
I was immediately hooked. To my surprise, I was able to check out the book and then proceeded to read it in my shitty, little motel room. I devoured the entire thing in less then a couple of hours. The book was originally designed to be read over the course of a couple of days. The next day I went back to the library and was actually able to get online.
I browsed online for more information about electronics, electrical theory, electrical and computer engineering, you name it. The more and more I read, the more and more I realized that this is what I wanted to do with my life. I was 19 at the time | I was basically homeless, bored, and depressed when I found a book in the local library about electronics for beginners, became hooked. Was 19 at the time |
t3_2tjqku | relationships | My [33F] husband [32 M] is an oversharer and it's hurting our relationship... | I am Indian, as is my husband of 6 months. We dated for about two years before getting married and we have an amazing sex life.We try to be open and honest and sexually experimental with and for each other. That's included some transgressive sex talk, some flirtation, some experimentation with swinging - nothing more than just dinners with interested couples.
He is far more adventurous and ready to take flight than I am. I am finding it really hard to get off the ground, however, for several reasons. For one, I come from a very conservative Indian family. Second,I tend to be very modest and private with my sexual life, something I don't know if I can overcome. Third, he cheated on me - that really hurt, though he says it came of an episode of him sharing about our potential sexual adventurousness with someone he really trusted, which got out of control.
So this is where I am having issues. He is an oversharer. He shares about our sexual life with his female friends, has these frank explicit discussions and frankly, despite having told him on several occasions that I am really uncomfortable with all this, I know he isn't letting out. It makes me really uncomfortable around him, during sex, around his friends. I have excused myself from joining social gatherings because I really don't know how to deal with this. I am also very mistrustful of his impulse control - I love him and know he does not want to hurt me, but given his past history I am scared I am going to be lied to again.
So what does one do with an oversharer? The price of admission for me in this marriage is definitely keeping our social and sexual lives separate. I don't want to be social friends with people I might fuck and I don't want my friends to know anything about how much and what kind of sex we have. I have made this clear, but he hasn't stopped. Is my price of admission into this marriage a big fat suck it up? | I love husband but he cannot stop talking about our sex life to his female friends. |
t3_ce7la | relationship_advice | I think I need (one) Viagra | So, I'm in a long distance relationship (it's not too bad). The problem is, for her birthday, she wants me to make a [clone-a-willy] dildo for her. I bought the kit, and get this: I need to pour (exactly) 98 degree fahrenheit water into a bowl, mix in a molding solution, pour that into a tube, then stick my john-thomas in that. In under two minutes flat.
I've tried, and it just cannot be done. Unless I can get my hands on something that will keep me erect during the pouring, measuring, and mixing.
I know that asking for viagra on the internet is a bit silly--I could always check the spam folder--but I was hoping for something trustworthy. | I need one viagra pill so I can make a dildo. |
t3_1rxiwb | relationships | Christmas gift question with me [21 M] and her [20 F]! Very very tiny question no need to upvote | Ok! Well, I decided to do some special gifts for my girlfriend this year, some blu-rays, a blu-ray player, and an album she has been looking for for years.
Here's my dilemma, I don't know what order to have her open the gifts XD
If I were to organize them in terms of which is the "biggest/best" present, the big gift is this record she has been trying to find forever. I somehow managed to locate it after about 1,000 phone calls to I believe was every record store on the east coast.
Then probably the blu-ray player, her DVD player is dead, so I figured it was time for an upgrade.
Then 12 DVDs and Blu-Rays for the blu-ray player.
Should I start out big with the record? Or should I go with the dvds/blu rays first? Or if I give the blu-rays and dvds first does that does it give away I got her a blu-ray player?
Or I was thinking, maybe hiding the record, giving the blu-ray player and movies, then after she thinks it's all over... bam, super rare record.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated! | Trying to figure out what order to give my girlfriend Christmas/Holiday presents. (Best gift) Rare Record, (2nd best) Blu-Ray player, (3rd best) 12 Blu-Rays/DVDs |
t3_1aa9al | AskReddit | Have you ever lashed out, or acted out of character in public in a way that surprised you? | I'm a very non-confrontational person and was taught growing up to have great manners and be respectful of others. When I was 19 I went with my boyfriend at the time to a movie that had been released a few weeks earlier. I went to the movie weeks after the release date in hopes that there wouldn't be many people in the theater so that I could get the seating I liked best. Sure enough there were only a few other couples in the theater and I got the perfect seating I wanted.
About 5 minutes after the movie started, two guys came in and sat in the seats right in front of me even though the whole theater was practically empty. I had my feet resting up on the back of the chair in front of me as one of the guys sat in it. He politely turned around and asked me if I would put my feet down. I snapped quicker than I could have ever imagined, raised my voice, and said that I wasn't going to move my goddamn feet and he would just have to deal with it. While still angered about the situation I started to calm down a few minutes later and was in utter shock that I reacted in that way instead of my usual non-confrontational self. I slowly put my feet down and watched the remainder of the movie confused by my own behavior. | Raised my voice and acted like a child when asked to put my feet down off of a chair in a movie theater. |
t3_w1fqg | AskReddit | Redditors (particularly therapists, psychologists etc), I am at my wits end. I need help with my fucked up family. Can you give me advice? | My brother who is 24 hasn't left our house in over ten years because he is afraid of people. My parents do everything for him such as his shopping and he has no reason to go out. My father is in a position of care for my brother and thus gets paid, but he does not have the capacity to fulfil his role as a carer. He thinks that one day my brother, bear in mind after a decade of being indoors, will wake up and decide to go out to the shops. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
He would do *anything* for my brother and I am afraid it is taking away from my brother's motivation to lead a healthy lifestyle.
My mother wants my brother to stay in a protective bubble, away from the cruel world that begins after our doorstep. He is socially awkward because he didn't grow up like normal teenagers, going through all the embarrassing moments and such, and therefore learning how to deal with situations like the rest of us. In my view, this is selfish and counter-productive. My brother isn't a normal introvert, this is abnormal and is ruining his life.
I want to go to my brother's doctor and lay out the facts for him.
* My father is not capable of being my brother's carer
* My mother is helping my brother lead a self-destructive lifestyle
* My sister and I are the only people who realise how fucked up this situation is, and that my parents should be slowly but surely trying to get my brother to go outside
But I am afraid of what will happen, like my father will lose his position and my brother will be sectioned or something.
I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Maybe talking to a professional psychiatrist/psychologist about this situation will be helpful so if there are any out there I would appreciate some advice. Talking to my parents is like talking to a brick wall. Thanks for reading.
-atmywitsend | read the first paragraph |
t3_16zf0g | dating_advice | I (20f) am really starting to like a friend (36m). | I've never been in a relationship before because I've never really been interested in casual dating. I'm in my second year of college, and I did research with a Prof with am assigned partner. He's 16 years older than me, which I don't see as a problem. in the beginning, he ignored me unless we were working together with the prof. now we have a class together (we sit together), we are in a club together, we do the same volunteer work outside of school, and we email, but it's always about one of the aforementioned activities. he seems interested, but I have the age old problem of not being able to distinguish between just being friendly or flirting.
We've never texted or hung out; but we see each other about 7 hours a week. he gets in my personal space and talks to me all the time, but I can't tell if I'm just blinded by wishful thinking. One friend said she thought he liked me, and I hadn't said anything to prompt the opinion.
basically, I think he might like me but his issues lie with the age difference. Do you have any advice for how to at least further our friendship without scaring him off? | I like a classmate of mine who is 16 years older; how do I approach him without being too assertive and scaring him? |
t3_1720x5 | weddingplanning | Wanted to share a tip that has helped me with all of my stress. | As a soon to be wife (52 days to go!) I can't stop thinking about things I need to do, wedding details, people to call etc. etc. It's getting to the point where it's becoming counter-productive because I simply can't remember all of my thoughts, and I know they're important or I wouldn't have thought them. So, about a week and a half ago, I started a Google Drive Doc that I can access from anywhere via my phone and laptop. I keep the screen up and every time I have a wedding thought I put it in there and forget about it. When I get home each day I have taken out 15 or so minutes to go through my scrambled notes list and organize my thoughts at once instead of leaving them jumbled in my brain. So far this has helped me so much. I'm a maniac as it is, but especially with this wedding stuff. Just thought I would share this little tid-bit in hopes that it could help some other wedditors get some stress relief! | Start a note list to dump your wedding thoughts onto and organize them later to ease the stress. |
t3_1oy6b0 | tifu | TIFU several times in the shower. | So it's my first year at a boarding school. So we have this crappy locker room that has been around for 20-30 years.
Anyways, I did my homework and ate dinner before my shower tonight. That's the first fuckup. As it turns out, if you're the last one there the shower is almost guaranteed to be cold. And there's no space heating upstairs either, which makes it even colder.
No big deal, I'll just bite the bullet and shower anyway. But shit, this person is combing her hair in the mirror right in front of me, so I don't want to get naked behind the see-through shower curtain and flash her. So I close the door to the shower and de-robe in there, throwing it over the door so it lands outside. That was fuckup #2. The bathrobe became soaking wet on the floor.
But it doesn't end there. The hook where you put your container with shampoo, soap, etc is very flimsy. So after I got myself some shampoo, when I put it back the hook broke and the container fell, scattering my stuff everywhere. I needed to pick the stuff up, but I didn't want to put on my soaking wet bathrobe (the only garment available) So here comes fuckup #3! I decide to, very quickly, jump out of the shower naked and grab everything. If I do it like a ninja, nobody will walk in right? Wrong... That person who was combing her hair before came in AGAIN as I was bent over picking stuff up, and she got a pretty embarrassing view.
So I finish the shower, pretty much fuming with frustration and embarrassment, put on my soaking wet robe, and waddle away. By the time I get back, I have developed a hatred for the entire known universe. | A chain of unlucky events results in a shower from hell. |
t3_41yghy | relationships | Me (20F) with boyfriend (21M) of six months, I was going to break up with him, he just told me he purposefully broke something at work, how can I break up while remaining safe? | First off, names, ages, and irrelevant details have been changed or left out because he is a redditor and I am scared of him finding this.
Important details:
We are medium distance (live about two hours apart). He has some possessions he borrowed from my family and I would like to get them back. He has not shown violent tendencies before this, but I haven't known him that long so I can't say for sure.
I was planning on breaking up with him in person this weekend for various innocuous reasons, the most important being that he frankly bores me to tears and is not worth the gas money. Sorry if that's harsh, it's just the truth. I wasn't gonna tell him this (obviously) but it's the most significant actual reason for breaking up.
However, he just informed me that he purposefully broke an expensive piece of equipment at work because, and I quote, "he was mad." I gathered from his tone and the context of the messages that he told me this because he thought it was funny. I am now worried about breaking up with him, I am not sure if it will be safe.
I need advice on whether or not I am *actually* in any danger (I could potentially be freaking out over nothing), and if I am, I need to know how to break up safely. Preferably I would like to retrieve the items he borrowed from my family. Thanks in advance! | I was going to break up with my boyfriend this weekend, just found out he purposefully broke a piece of equipment at work, am I in danger and how do I break up safely? |
t3_4xxa3x | relationship_advice | [28/m] Am I getting friend-zoned by [24/f]? Pls save me | I really don't want to lose this one, so help much appreciated.
- 3 dates in (over about 3 weeks) after only having met once previously
- Have made out on each one; done dinner; club dancing
- Hilarious snapchat fun when together -- she posts tons of vids of us together to her story for all her friends to see
- Been in healthy contact every day since day 1 via text/snapchat, but rarely talk on phone
- This girl is very cautious, extremely fearful about getting cheated on, also the type I'm thinking sex only once in relationship
- Ik she is dating other guys
- I make her laugh like crazy every day
- I'm struggling connecting with her on a deep emotional level and keeping spark
All sounds good, but on the 3rd date (most recent)...
- This was only about a 2 hour date w/ quick casual dinner
- She was reluctant to a real kiss at the end and kept it to a few quick pecks on the lips -- very different vibe from previous two dates where they were slower and passionate
- There wasn't much romantic spark as it felt more like two friends out than romance; we still touched each other a bit (nonsexual)
She did meet in her work clothes after shift, so maybe just didn't feel sexy? She stated on a couple occasions that she hope I didn't mind her work outfit... She was also really camera shy when I tried to capture her.
Anyways, I asked her out to a Friday night show and she enthusiastically responded with a yes!!! What doesn't sit well with me:
- She said she'd give me money for the ticket (hints friendship?)
- I have a feeling she's trying to duck out of dinner
- When I text her suggesting meeting at my place (like previously), she has dodged the question for over two hours now which REALLY doesn't sit well with me
- Today she referred to us as a "friendship" -- trying to test my reaction or trying to send a message? | If a woman enthusiastically agrees to see a Friday night show with you after you've both already kissed and previously expressed romantic feelings for each other, how likely is it that you have still been friend-zoned? |
t3_23r46v | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] 2 years, think im falling in love with another girl? Online relationship | My girlfriend is 19 going on 20, I am newly 18. We've been dating online for 2 years, and because of the distance its been hard to meet (across the country) ive been trying to saveup for june to visit her.
Now.. I know that if I want to be with her, I need to move where she is which at first didn't seem so bad, but deep down I knew it would be hard and I just haven't been thinking about it. I've distanced myself from people I know in real life, friends at church and such, well I had to go for the first time in like a year or two this easter, and well.. I feel different, first being with my old friends, memories, then of course my first crush who still wants to talk to me, though we're just friends.
My girlfriend because of the distance has told me she doesn't love me as much as she have, shes been distant, and doesn't talk as much, I love her incredibly much, and I want to meet her. But.. after being with my friends, then my first crush, I feel like something has triggered, I feel like I still like this girl, but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't workout in the first place, I beat myself up for even thinking about her because I know I love my girlfriend, I just can't decide if my mind is playing games with me because we haven't been doing good or what.
Another thing is she called off an engagement because her boyfriend was a jerk, the mature way she acts (or so she says) compared to my girlfriend screaming and cussing at me whenever something goes wrong seemed good..
Idk what I'm really asking here, but has anyone ever gone through something like this? I guess I just feel like this is a mistake but at the same time I think I should meet her before I do anything. I've never kissed a girl, im still a virgin, I'm scared I'll go there and do things, then possibly breakup later and regret things. | Scumbaggy but I think I'm getting feelings for someone in real life vs my girlfriend online. |
t3_qew9h | AskReddit | How did you go about figuring out what to do for a career in life? I'm needing some inspiration | I'm one of those many people who has no freaking clue what I want to do, even after graduating college with multiple degrees. I still don't know what direction to head in or what my next step is. I have so many interests and possibilities I don't know how to narrow it down or make a career out of it (almost all of which would require more schooling and $$$). I just need some inspiration on some steps to take to start figuring things out.
I'm 22, 2 liberal arts bachelors degrees, getting by but want more out of life. How did you figure life out? | see title |
t3_2uumum | relationships | Me [23M] with my partner [24F] 1 month, didn't take her serious | Hello, this morning my partner shared one of her insecurities with me. She was in the shower and asked me to do something (in a specific way). I didnt think much about it. Later she told me she doesnt like telling people what to do (it makes her feel insecure). Instead of getting it, I replied asking her then why she asks me/others to do something. Obviously she had meant she did not like feeling insecure after asking, rather than not wanting to ask for a favor/ giving an instruction.
Basically she felt ignored and didn't feel well about it all day at work. She came home a while ago and has left the house since then. She needs to be alone. I dont think she feels well.
What is an appropriate response? I feel like shit and I have no idea how to go about this. | I (not knowingly) upset my girlfriend, its been bothering her subconsciously all day and now she's gone off to be alone. How to treat her and the situation? |
t3_1cs4lo | dating_advice | Should i go into a relationship for experience only? | F(20) M(20) went on one date. Dating for one day but it's not official
Yesterday was my first relationship experience. I met a guy and we talked for a bit and i liked his personality. We then decided to met up at the end of week, prior to meeting up the guy expressed his deep feelings for me. He genuinely like me and he would send very mushy text messages saying how much he wants to touch and feel me not sexuality though. I told him that i was new to relationships and I'm not comfortable with him yet to send mushy messages, He understood.
Let me just cut to the chase, we met up and i didn't feel into it. We kissed, mind you it was my first but i couldn't get into. He also likes to cuddle and he kept trying to cuddle. The whole date felt like i was pretending. It didn't seem natural to me just thinking about it make me cringe smh. The kissing felt awkward and i discovered that i hate kissing because it felt weird, i don't know if was him that was horrible or me but all i know is i didn't enjoy it.
He is an nice and attractive guy that wouldn't take advantage of me and understand i never been with a guy before which makes me want to like him on the same level he likes me. I however can't seem to, I don't know if i ever will feel the same way he feels about me and i think this date made me realized how much I am really asexual. I don't know what to do, i want to gain relationship experience, so do i pretend or stay forever inexperience? A part me feel like if i pretend i would soon actually begin to like him. | I am asexual. Went on date did relationship shit wasn't feeling it but deciding if i should go with it |
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