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t3_3hv10z | tifu | TIFU by looking at sheep. | So, I've lived in an area that's full of farms for practically all of my life (I'm 15) and I've never lived or stayed overnight in the city.
With this being the case you'd assume that I've seen quite a few sheep, especially since we traveled to Scotland a lot. We went for 11 years but anyway I digress.
I have just gotten back from a daytrip with my local youth centre to a place in the yorkshire dales and obviously you drive past a LOT of sheep and other farm animals.
Now, baring in mind I'm a fairly intelligent person, I know quite a few facts about animals because I want to become a vet.
We were driving down the countryside and I'm admiring the view and looking at some sheep when I notice something dangling from the back of it. I sit there like what the fuck and stare at these sheep and notice all of them have things dangling from the back of them.
Finally one of the turns around and I just shout "HAVE SHEEP ALWAYS HAD TAILS????" and everyone just looks at me with the most disappointed face and quite a few people start crying of laughter.
Throughout the whole trip I got called sheep girl and I'm still getting messages about sheep having tails. | I never noticed sheep had tails, got called sheep girl. |
t3_zmqh3 | relationships | How am I f(20), m(23) going to survive football season? | Dating a year. I know this is an incredibly silly question, but the thought of football season is depressing me. Today is my boyfriend's birthday. I bought him a series of gifts and wanted to spend the day with him. I went to the casino with him last night, but other than that I haven't gotten to spend any time with him. All day today I've been sitting in his room doing homework with the occasional peaking out to say hello. 6 friends are watching football in the living room, and they're all yelling so obviously I can't talk or be involved. They've been over since last night, and it's now 10 at night, so I'm going a little crazy in this room.
I know I need to just get over myself and stop whining, but I'm already going crazy thinking about this situation. I work 2 jobs and go to school full time. I live on campus about half an hour away. He works Monday-Friday. This leaves us with only Saturday and Sunday to see eachother, and now every Sunday I'm going to have to go out and find something else to do. And Saturday's he's going to want to go out/see friends. All I look forward to is a little alone time, and now I won't be getting any for however long the football season is.
Again, I know I'm being silly, but I really just needed to vent since I'm going bonkers. Feel like crying. | Now that football season has began, I won't be seeing my boyfriend really at all |
t3_51eaaz | relationships | I (19M) want to be single after being with my (19F) girlfriend of 3 years | I am a (19M) with my FIRST (19F) girlfriend and after three years together I feel as though I'm missing out on a lot of things. I feel as though we are married and I don't want that at all right now. She constantly talks about being married and kids and I am not ready to think about that. I fell head over heals in love with this girl sophomore year and now being in college (we attend different university's a state away) I have an urge to explore different things.
She is a good girl and I love her very much but I'm tired of a relationship. I want to be able to depend on myself 100% for a while. I feel like an asshole when I say that but I don't know how else to say it. I've actually tried to break up with her twice but I am such a softy, I can't take her bawling and being in hysterics when I say I want to take a break or be separate. I don't have the guts to end it.
She doesn't really like my friends and we constantly fight about me going to hang out with them too much (different now that we are separated). I feel like I am her only friend. She has plenty of friends she likes but she would rather have me than all of them and I do not think the same way.
I don't know what to do right now. I catch myself thinking about being single and how I am too young to be feeling like I'm married. Being with her is all I know I feel like. I want to do me during college and figure myself out because I feel as though I will end up being less of a man than I am capable of. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being a dick but it's just how I've been feeling. Thanks | Have been with my first girlfriend ever for 3 years that I love very much and want to be single and experience my own life, but haven't had the balls to break up with her. |
t3_1uihe7 | relationships | Me [29 M] with my GF [28 F] 3 months, our housemate is jealous of our relationship - Don't know how to approach | I hooked up with my housemate about 3 months ago and everything is going real well. We really like each other but I feel another housemate is jealous and is purposely making things awkward.
He has tried to sleep with her in the past a few times and she has always rejected him (to my knowledge)
Now when we are at home he is always around. Like for example one night we were cuddling watching a romcom on one of two sofas and he came in sat down on the one we were and kept talking during it.
He has read The Game and continually 'negs' my girlfriend and talks sexually usually referencing his dick.
I want this to stop but I don't want to cause a rift in the house, or for him to try and sleaze on harder when I am not around. The way he tried to sleep with her in the past was just to jump in the bed with her and grope her.
Another problem is he considers her his best friend as he has said she is 'like a sister to me.' I don't treat my sister like that... But anthing I do could make me seem controlling, or jealous myself.
Any Ideas to approach the situation while minimizing fallout? | My housemate wants to sex my gf. He is jealous and annoying. |
t3_4un44z | relationships | My [25M] friend [25F] started talking to me differently after recently breaking up with her [23M] boyfriend. Unsure whether she's making a move. | We have been quite close before, we usually video chat when we have problems, usually relationship related. I don't know whether she's sad over her break up and just wants to have someone to talk to, or she's making a move on me. Should note that there is <1% chance of us being in an official relationship, because we currently living in different countries, and I just broke up with someone because of distance. Here's a list of some of the things she said to me.
She broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago, and sent me a text to tell me about it. She said she was pretty sad, but she's gotten better.
I told her I recently broke up with my girlfriend myself (on good terms, we broke up because we didn't want a long distance relationship but we still care about each other), and she told me "you can't be with one person forever" and "take an opportunity". She said that since we're both sad and single, we should start talking to each other more.
She told me to use Snapchat to send her photos about "everything". We ended up Snapchatting whole night.
She will be in town for a couple of days then she has to travel to another country because she has things to do, and she asked me out of the blue to come with her (unsure whether she means it).
Since she will only be able to see me in a couple of days, she said she would spend all the time with me.
I'm currently at the point where I'm just there for her as a friend to help her feel less sad, I'm not showing any sign of interests or indication that I want to have a thing with her. I'm just quite bad in reading girls intentions in general. We've been friends for over 10 years, we've never been involved though I did like her 10 years ago, but she freaked out about it then and rejected me. We just laugh about it nowadays. | friend started getting close to me, a lot of talking and she said a lot of things that I mentioned above. not sure what she's saying is a sign that she's into me or she's just sad about her break up. |
t3_4pmdes | relationships | My [20] GF [20] is overall stressed. | tonight she was on the couch and I went out to check on her. She said she thinks she can't sleep with me.
I told her she has before just fine, so what's up?
She replied with "not really". I ignored that and we discussed possibilities. She also mentioned she is dizzy and feels like she may throw up sometimes, not sure if that is because she is so stressed out and overthinking about everything.
So here is some background information. She's an exchange student and we have been together about 7 or 8 months. She is particularly fond of America, and is finding it quite boring. She doesn't have too many friends here (American friends), and she can't drive, as well as she hates buses and doesn't fully trust services like uber.
That being said, she is home while I am at work. During the day she is fine as far as I know, and when I get home she is happy. But the past few weeks, or close to a month (when summer really kicked in) she is just really stressed about being bored. We are also tight on money, so I guess that isn't fun either, but we can at least afford to go places like the beach and etc.
So how do I approach this situation? I want to sleep with her but she can't sleep and usually is kind of sad / a bit pissed when I go to sleep, only because she knows she is going to be up alone. | GF is usually really stressed, and lately can find her self able to go to sleep easily and told me she doesn't think she can sleep with me, and overall kind of just stressed. What are things I can do to help? Although much of it is probably up to the individual with the problem. |
t3_3e4e7o | running | Back to running in recovery from an eating disorder. Thank you all! | I don't expect to get a lot of attention, but I really needed to share how ecstatic I am to be feeling so great after my first run in recovery!
I've had an eating disorder for ~5 years, and just went through treatment for the second time. Running can be very problematic with eating disorder treatment not only because it can undo physical recovery/weight restoration, but also mental recovery from using food and my body to cope (lots of sources on Google). I was on a very basic activity plan (mostly walking and light yoga) while in a residential program, but had a few "slips" of compulsive running for the wrong reasons. After four months, my treatment team (therapist, dietician, trainer) and I finally decided it was time for me to ease back into running.
My trainer took me to do about twenty minutes on a short trail loop, and it was bliss. Yeah, I hit a wall pretty quick, but I was so much more aware and present. I get to work up from 2 days a week to 5 over time, but I'm just so grateful to be back out there. I can finally, honestly say that I'm running for my long-term physical and mental health and enjoyment, rather than to hurt myself.
I was encouraged to unsubscribe from /r/running months ago... but it never happened. Seeing your posts helped remind me of the passion and community runners cultivate, and continues to motivate me to take care of my earth-suit so my soul can fully experience that. (PS. Sorry it got airy-fairy, I've been in therapy a long time.)
I'd love to hear others' experiences and tips. Questions more than welcome if you have them. | You guys make me want to feed myself and run smiling. |
t3_fg86m | AskReddit | Looking into part time male escorting/companionship. Does anyone have any advice, experience or info to share? | Hi Reddit, first time caller, long time listener here.
Recently I've been looking into the profession of male escorting and companionship. Not a usual avenue of consideration, but lately it's been more appealing for a variety of reasons and an option I'd like to explore part time.
Lots of escorting AMA's grace IAmA's sub-reddit so there are definitely people here who either have experience as an escort or client. What I'm looking for is any advice that people could share regarding the business, including client screening processes, client expectations, work rates (to not undersell), pros and cons of incall vs outcall, warning signs of a bad client or situation in general, overall differences between male and female clients, helpful rules or guidelines to establish with clients ahead of time, or ANY other tips that can be offered.
If there are any questions that I can answer to help with tailoring advice or offering necessary context, feel free to ask. I won't provide name or images for the sake of anonymity, but the rest is mostly game. Adding answers to this post will teach me how to edit on here too! Edits/answers are below, questions in bold and answers following.
**For guys or girls?** Both. Men and women are both welcome for anything from general companionship to a complete experience.
Some extra info:
-Just under 6 feet tall.
-Very athletic, body isn't of much concern.
-Caucasian.
-Living on the west coast (if that makes a difference).
-Clean cut, dress well.
Thanks in advance! | Read the thread title. |
t3_2bt0ur | relationships | My [26 F] best friend from high school [26 F] has never been in a relationship and has never had sex or even been kissed. Should I try to help her and how? | Some background: I should start off by saying that I'm 99% my friend is straight. She has been interested in (and even "in love with") several guys over the past 10 years that we've known each other, but she either admires them from afar or they become friends and she gets stuck in the dreaded friend zone. She is a very social person and has lots of female friends but she becomes super-awkward around guys that are flirting with her and/or that she likes. Honestly, when she's around someone she likes, she stops acting like a normal person and starts getting weird. Unsurprisingly, this ends up turning guys off and it never goes anywhere.
At this point, she's 26 years old and the most action she's ever gotten is a full frontal hug by a male friend. She has never kissed a guy and of course she has never had sex. I'm embarrassed to ask her if she has ever masturbated, but I really hope she has. Even though there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, I feel really bad for her because I feel like she is wasting the best years of her life. It's not just about sex either. I'm worried that if she waits too long, she will never manage to have a successful relationship, because most of the other people her age will have already had a lot more experience being in a relationship.
I'd like people's input on how common it is to reach that age with zero relationship experience. Do you think I'm making this into a bigger deal than it is? Or should I try to talk to her about it? What can I even say to help? | My friend of 10 years has never been in a physical (or otherwise) relationship with a guy. I think it's partially due to the fact that she doesn't know how to flirt and is very awkward around guys. I'm worried that she's missing out on the best years of her life (she turned 26 earlier this year), but I don't know whether I should pressure her and how to bring this up. Of course there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but I think she should at least experience what it's like to be in a relationship with someone and have some level of intimacy. |
t3_1hyj9l | jobs | Looking for advice: Have a job offer with a deadline, but still have multiple promising interviews. | I was hoping to get some advice; I am currently an unemployed recent grad in STEM. I have been on the job hunt for the past couple of months. Today I was given my first offer, but I still have four more interviews this week, two of which are second round interviews.
The offer (Company A) is one that I am going to negotiate as the salary is quite a bit on the low end, but they also want an acceptance or decline by the next ten days (the 19th). I do like the job and the company seems good; however, it is a little bit of a commute.
The main reason I'm hesitant is that I would really love to work for (Company B) one of the follow-up interviews. This has great benefits including tuition reimbursement which is great since I intend to go back to school in the near future and the workplace is less than a mile away from my house. There hasn't been any talk about salary yet though, so I don't know where their budget is for that position. Unfortunately, this interview isn't until this Friday and background checks haven't happened so even if it goes well an offer definitely isn't quite as soon as the time limit given by Company A.
Additionally I have a phone screen with (Company C), a first in-person interview (Company D) and another follow-up interview with another also great place (Company E). I haven't had salary discussions with these companies yet either.
So how should I go about this? Is it okay to ask for more time to decide than 10 days, assuming negotiations go well? Do I be honest about the other interviews? Or do I be honest at the interviews about the offer? I don't necessarily want to accept and then leave if I get a better offer (even though employment is at will), but I don't want to lose this initial offer and then not get any others too. Suggestions, anecdotes, or advice?
Thank you! You've all helped me get this far in the hunt, and I really appreciate the knowledge and advice this community brings! | Have an offer that will be negotiated from Company A, who wants a final decision in 10 days. Have two follow up interviews, one in-person, and one phone screen this week still. I'm excited about my follow up with Company B as they're close to me, good benefits, tuition reimbursement, but no info yet on salary. What should I do? |
t3_3ixxqh | relationships | I'm (23F) going to Thailand in January to teach for 4 months while my boyfriend (25M) stays home to complete college. I need advice. | Hi guys, I'm hoping someone can give me some advice on how to keep my relationship strong with my boyfriend while I live in another country for 4 months.
We have been together for 3 and a half years. We are best friends that are in love and the thought of being away from him for 4 months really makes me sad.
I'm extremely excited to go abroad and experience a new culture. I have wanted to do this for a very long time but I have a fear that we'll get too comfortable being away from each other or that it won't be the same when I come back.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation or have any advice for me at all? | I'm scared that my relationship with my boyfriend will change when I go abroad for 4 months. |
t3_37lkkv | relationships | My therapist sent me [21/f] home in the middle of a session because her next patient came an hour early. I'm hurt and feel like a may need a new therapist | I've been seeing my therapist for about a year now and she's been helping a lot. I arrived in her office at our scheduled time and I was talking to her for about 15 minutes when she heard the waiting room door open.
She went outside and saw that the next patient had come an hour earlier and she thought that maybe she got our times mixed up until she checked the schedule andc saw that she placed them an hour after me. She told me that unfortunately I would have five minutes to wrap up because I would have to come back later, although it was **my** appointment time.
I fought really hard to hold back tears because I was in the middle of really pouring my heart out about how my sexual abuse. She gave me a rescheduled appointment but I don't know if I'm going back because it's a 40 minute walk from my campus. I usually don't mind but it's so hot and I don't want to do that walk twice today.
She's been really great at helping me with my PTSD and overcoming my sexual abuse, but I feel that this was incredibly unprofessional and it made me feel like what I was saying didn't matter.
She told me that the patient was an evaluation so this would be her first time seeing them. Can you all give me advice on how to handle this? I've been feeling so shitty and my depression is getting worse and I really needed to talk about it because I feel like I'm close to just ending things. | Therapist sent me home in middle of appointment and I don't know if I should find a new therapist or if I'm overreacting. |
t3_3qxgt9 | dating_advice | I [25M] think I give up on dating/trying to date. | Well. I'm 25. I do not have all that much experience as it is. I used to be extremely overweight (have lost a great deal but am still kind of big). I've been dating and trying to date for a little while and I feel like the unluckiest person.
To start, I've been using online dating. I think it's actually pretty great. I tend not to just message everyone, and only try and message people who look like they are putting effort into dating as well.
So far I've found maybe three people since I've been on it (quite a long time actually). Who were genuinely interesting and I've enjoyed talking with. Two in particular.
One of these girls I met, we had coffee and a pretty good time. We made plans to meet and they had to be canceled because she had an interview. I asked her to dinner and she said yes. The day before I'm told she was kind of seeing someone else (you know, dating) and that this other person mentioned he wanted to be exclusive. Nothing to get mad about, that's dating. It was a little disappointing though.
This other girl we have been talking a LOT. Both work nights, and so we'd be texting during our breaks. We would exchanges messages every day. Arranged to meet and canceled because she was called into work. No big deal! Rescheduled to meet tomorrow. Wake up to a text along the lines of "I really hate to do this to you but I'm going to have to cancel on you again. I've been out with this other guy a couple times and I want to see where it goes".
Awesome. Dating, or trying to date is the stone cold worst. To top it off I'm frequently told how sweet and amazing, I am after I'm told they want to not continue anymore. Apparently I'm a catch, just not prize worthy.
/rant | Multiple times canceled on to see where things go with someone else. Dating sucks. |
t3_4hwhqv | cats | Helping a cat with a recently scratched out eye | So, I'm on holiday in Crete, Greece, and theres a lot of cats here. One cat in particular though caught my attention, he sleeps near our hotel on a parking lot and has a really painfully looking scratched out left eye. At first I almost couldn't look at him because of his eye, but after walking past him a few times, I began to notice that he wasn't really in bad health. Tonight, when walking back to our hotel he came running towards me meowing and I petted him a little. Back at our hotel me and my girlfriend were talking about ways to help him, tomorrow I want to get him a bit of food and clean water, and I was thinking about cleaning his eye a bit with some alcohol wipes or something. Does anyone have any idea what would be the best way to help him? His eye socket is a bit swollen and two days ago there was some fluid oozing from it but now that has stopped. | Any idea on how to clean a stray cat's scratched out eye a bit? |
t3_1023yf | AskReddit | Reddit, Since pants are overrated, and extremely annoying, what are adaptive ways to be able to not wear pants. (Clarification inside) | I hate wearing pants, a whole bunches, it is one of my least favorite things. Without wearing pants, I tend to hit a problem, and have not figured out a proper way to deal with the problem of not wearing pants.
What do I do with the stuff I want to put in pockets? Cell Phone, Cigarettes, Lighter, Beer(yes I keep beer in the pocket) etc. I like to have certain things on me, and cannot carry them while walking around without pants.
Has anyone figured out a way to carry things with you, while not wearing any type of pants? | No Pants, No Pockets, Where do I put shit? |
t3_3y2sl0 | tifu | TIFU: Humiliating My Social Worker To Over 30 People | As everyone else, this didn't happen today, it happened just over a month ago. My social worker had monthly meetings with a bunch of other people about me, and i decided to crash the meeting as i knew where and when it was, needless to say everyone was surprised. a few days before the meeting, i googled my social workers full name trying to find her Facebook or something to contact her, and i stumbled across a review under her name, the review was for padded underwear. to many that's not a big deal to stumble across, but considering she is almost 40 years old and is supposed to be professional, i was pretty shocked. fast forward to the meeting, she was pretty rude to me and nobody gave a shit, at the end of the meeting my social worker was packing up and just about to leave the room, she insulted me for "looking gay", and i said "atleast i don't wear padded underwear". the words just came out, only realising what i said after i said it, maybe a bit too loud too, my psychotherapist laughed and so did grandparents, all 3 of which are very mature and unlikely to laugh at something like that. a few weeks later, my respite carer told me that almost everyone (that being over 30 people) that works with my social worker had found out that she wears padded underwear. she now refuses to see me anymore and has had to get a replacement. | humiliating my social worker to over 30 people |
t3_g3j8o | dating_advice | The girl is confused and so am I on how to approach it | Her-23 me-21
So we've been acquaintances in a pep band for about a year now and recently I started thinking she was cute (Girl A). Last weekend we were on a band trip and one night we were playing some drinking games in my room and once people had started leaving and it was only like 5 of us she had been increasingly more physical towards me (just holding hands and general closeness nothing major. That night she voluntarily (hers was right next door) slept in my bed and we cuddled all night (which happened to be about 4ish hours since we had a ride back at 7am the next day.
Last night I talked to one of her close friends(Girl B) about what happened (she was in the bed with my room mate) and how I thought I might have feelings for her and if they were something that has a chance leading somewhere. Girl B said Girl A said I was cute but was also confused because she likes some other guy and doesn't want to mess things up with him if she has a chance but also is just confused about me as well.
Girl B suggested I just try and talk to Girl A but I am also confused because I am generally a shy guy and can get really awkward and have big fears of rejection.
Do I just let things progress naturally and do my best to let her know that I like her but not pressure her into anything or do I flat out tell her plain and simple I like her? or some other option that I am too tired to think of right now | I like a girl we cuddled one night she thinks I am cute but also has feelings for another guy and is really confused, whats my best plan of action. |
t3_4v2x43 | relationships | Me [20s] with my SO [20s] I feel like he is unwilling to compromise for me | Hi, I'm going to try to keep this as anonymous as possible. I've been with my fiancé for a little over 6 years. We are generally very happy.
We had talked in depth about moving to a big city, where I applied to jobs for him and set up everything so once we got jobs we would be good to go. However, he told me he would be moving only for my benefit and didn't really care much for the city I loved.
So I said okay, we would revisit the idea in a few years. Until we moved to our current apartment, I have had a dog for the last 15 years. I love dogs and have really felt so empty not having one! I'm a responsible pet owner and am good with training, so there are no behavioral issues of any kind.
Our current apartment is freaking awesome. It's in the non ghetto part of the city, bright and beautiful with plenty of space and the rent is low. (650 for a 3bedroom with hardwood floors!!!)
My fiancé wants to stay here because he loves it here, and so do i, but I think daily about having a dog and am always looking for pet friendly apartments.
He is easily stressed about money and wants to stay because of the low rent, and I keep trying to get him a higher paying job but he's clueless/lazy. He has a couple of years of direct experience and graduated from a really good uni. He also doesn't like his job and complains about it all the time.
So basically in my eyes, he has said no to a move I thought we were both on board with, and said no to finding a dog friendly place, and no to trying to better his job situation and alleviate his stress.
I can't tell if I am asking too much and am in the wrong, or if he is just refusing to compromise with me. Who is in the wrong? | fiancé shoots down us moving cross country, then to moving at all, and to finding a job. Can't tell if I'm the problem? |
t3_mer14 | relationships | Is this normal or am I crazy? | 23/f and 25/m - 9 months relationship.
Okay, I haven't been in a relationship in a while and this one has come on serious and fast. This sounds stupid but I just need to talk this out Reddit.
Backstory: Bf and I are emotional people, I'm a talker - he tends to shut down. It makes for awkward times when one of us is upset.
Boyfriend got mad at me the other evening because after a long day we were both grumpy yet still had a commitment in the evening. He asked for his sake if I could stay awake and happy and make the rest of the evening enjoyable. I told him I would try but I tend to completely check out when I'm absolutely exhausted. Later, he got mad that I "couldn't be happy for him", he just seemed to believe I was pouting and the more I tried to explain myself, the angrier he got. He finally said that he cares for me so much that if I am not fully happy, he can't be - and then he starts to resent me for it. I'm of the disposition to where my partner's mood affects me but instead of getting mad at them, I try to bring them back from it. I thought we were okay, so I started joking around (you know, light pillow talk before bed), he looked at me and just left. In the morning he drove me to work (as part of previous commitment) and seemed a hesitant to make plans, telling me he'd maybe talk to me later. We usually text during the day (but never a large amount since we see each other often) and he has been ignoring me for the past two days. Does he just need space? Am I being punished? I don't know how to handle this. I'm confused. I feel like this is a stupid thing to ignore someone over. We've had worse disagreements and have always come back to each other the day after. | Both angry. BF wants me to be happy for him. I can't hide my emotions well. He gets mad at me for being in a bad mood. Haven't talked for 2 days and is ignoring my attempts at contact. |
t3_qi4dy | AskReddit | I've seen some pretty amazing stuff on Reddit, can you guys help me find something? | I've seen Redditors scrounge up some neat fixes to problems so I was wondering if anyone had connections or knew of where you could possibly find some strange/weird lights. My girlfriend described it as a neon rainbow bar light that would react to clapping gestures of the hand. Frankly I'm clueless as to where I could find this (she told me that she saw it at Planet K, or Spencers). I've tried searching numerous times but have not found anything close to it at all.
Another thing is that I don't exactly have the money to spend on a luxurious gift. The bright side is that her birthday is late-August which is half a year away. As a subtopic (not sure if this is allowed...) I'd like to ask for suggestions (no need to be specific) for birthday gifts! | Girlfriend want's a special light, rainbow "bar" light that hangs on the wall, reacts to hand clap gestures. Tried searching through Spencers and many sites with no avail. Help! |
t3_2p9lti | relationships | Me [28 M] and my friend [18 F] have been going on dates for the past 6 months and I don't know what to do next. | I've been going on date like things with Sarah for the past six months.
I say date like things because I'm not positive they're dates. We started by going to lunch every now and then at the beginning of this past summer. It progressed to doing fun activities and now we are going out to eat at fancy restaurants. And she recently asked me to prom. It feels like dates but I'm not too sure.
This is my first relationship/dating experience I've ever had so that's why I'm so clueless. I have no idea if she is into me or if she has been sending any signs. At this point I'm not sure on what to do next, whether it be making a move like kissing or just asking her out.
So /r/relationships I've turned to you for help. What do you think I should do next. | Been hanging out with girl for past six months, have no idea if she's into me or not.. |
t3_3gladx | relationships | Should I (22f) end it with my boyfriend (22m)? If so, how? | My boyfriend and I started hooking up in November, and dating in January. He has a hard time communicating his feelings but he was the first one to say "I love you." We had a few fights about the communication thing and me reading what he said wrong bt generally we spent every night together. I've met his family and I know his flaws and I love everything about him. I could see myself marrying him.
The summer was tough because we ended school on a bad note and I lost my dad, and he wasn't very willing to talk about it or understanding when I'd get upset about nothing.
I assumed we'd be in the same city this fall, and things would go back to normal, because we communicate fine in person, but he took a job 5 hours away in another city.
He finds it hard to communicate over text and say things like "I love you" or "I miss you" but he also never calls (to be fair I don't expect this). Recently I got upset and mad at him for never saying these things and he basically dismissed it because it was unfair of me to get mad and then expect him to be nice to me. He also told me he doesn't want to spend his time missing my while apart. But he also doesn't want to break up.
Is this all in my head or is he taking the easy way out.
How do I get him to tell me if he cares about me or not? I feel like I've exhausted all my whining and ultimatums, and even though I love him, his relationship isn't fair to me. I feel like I'm the only one making sacrifices. | boyfriend and I are drifting apart and I don't know if he's being fair or not. |
t3_omm5z | relationships | Relationship is stuck in a rut, what do I do? | I am 20 and my boyfriend is 19. We have been together for a year and three months. We both go to college together and frequently visit each others families on holidays and weekends. Anyways, I need help.
When our relationship first began he was such a gentleman. He would buy me flowers and gifts. He was very eager to spend time with me and wanted to listen to all my silly stories I had to tell. Well now that we have been going out for a while I feel like things have slowed down to a halt and we are in a rut.
He isn't a gentleman anymore. He doesn't do any of the things I have previously mentioned. There is absolutely no romance whatever, but it also seems like he has just stopped caring. When it comes to sex it is more of "hey babe want to have sex?" and that's it. No seduction, no sexiness, we just bang, say good game and go back to whatever it was we were doing before. I have told him that I need a little romance and I have even given him suggestions of things to do. And every time I say these things he just kinda blows off what I say, like it goes in one ear and out the other.
On top of that it seems as if he doesn't even care about me or my life any more. He never wants to come over and spend time with me at my apartment. And many times he will blow me off to spend time with his friends or just to play video games. We hardly spend any quality time together. I have tried to be an example, and show him how to be romantic by leaving love notes, sending sexy texts, cooking him dinner, etc. But he never reciprocates them. Most of the time he doesn't even thank me for the things I do for him. I am not sure what to do, I feel as if I am nagging him, by repeating the same things over and over. I am being drained by this relationship and I just want things to be happy between us again. Please help me. What do I say or do? | boyfriend is no longer romantic, and seems as if he doesn't care. Even though I have done everything I can. |
t3_2gj8yp | relationships | I (18 M) just found out that my girlfriend (19) thinks that since we won't last, there's no point in really trying. | So we live in the same hometown, but we go to school 4 hours from one another. We've been going out for a little over a year. Today I did a psych study regarding couples and communication. I brought up the study and she said she didn't think we would last long so she thinks we shouldn't continue. We talked on the phone and said we would work it out. I told her if we were going to keep going, we should put this behind us and try to put our best foot forward. I feel like we've been in a kind of rut.
So I just need advice on how to "spark" something again. Another problem may be that we don't see each other much or skype much. All we do is text. I just want some advice. | Took a psych study that brought up problems. Need to find some spark of life to invigorate our relationship again. |
t3_tyc7b | dating_advice | Looking for advice: should I keep going or just stop? | Hello everyone. So, me 22 male and she's 21. I met her this semester on one of my classes, she came up and sat next to me and we started talking. At the beginning it was kinda weird since im pretty shy and shes really outgoing and we only met only twice a week (3 hr class and the lab) but as time passed I got really comfortable with her and we started breaking the touch barrier and flirting a bit.
As weeks passed I wanted to ask her out but me over thinking like always did not but we kept talking a lot in class and sometimes via text. Anyhow like a month ago I looked her up on facebook to add her and saw that she had a bf but had never before mentioned him. I got a bit disheartened about it but never brought the topic up with her.
Last week was our final of that class and after the test we talked a couple of minutes and I decided to go for it and asked her if she wanted to hang out this past weekend but she said that she could not since she had other finals and had to study (last day of finals is tomorrow) but that I should call her this week to plan something up.
I talked about this to 3 of my closest friends and they pretty much agreed that if she never mentioned the bf I should just go out with her and have fun and if she brought up the topic that I should be the one to decide on what to do, as in keep hitting on her or just become another guy friend which tbh I have no interest in. So what do you guys think? | Met girl, became kinda close, discovered via fb she has a bf that she never mentioned, asked her out anyway. |
t3_1ovtgz | dating_advice | [24,m] Getting back into dating...problems | So 2 years ago, I had my heart shattered into a billion pieces by my ex-fiance. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did..
Enter this week. This girl is checking out my old ass profile on some dating website...she looks cute in her pictures, so I initiate a conversation.
We meet up for a date tonight and it wasn't bad, but i have a few issues, or hurdles I just kind of want opinions on...
*Ok, #1 thing, i'm 24...she just turned 18, and it shows. She has no life experience, is super shy...just in the way she carries herself, her mind is in a different place
2nd...I'm not really attracted to her. She's cute and stuff but I'm just not super interested in her physically or otherwise. That "click" just isn't there.
The date was fine. It wasn't terrible, but there wasn't exactly fireworks...
After the date, she commented on the age difference kind of bothering her, and she asked how i felt...i said, basically, since we established that we aren't looking for anything serious, that the age difference is okay with me..
She more or less agreed and we both said we'll just keep it chill, not rush anything, and just take things as they come
But i kind of feel guilty because I'm dating this girl now, and I don't really have interest in her...does that make me a bad person? Like in the past, I've been super shallow with girls and stuff...and I feel like it would be good for me to maybe just try to date outside of my comfort zone, and just try to get on my feet. But because cause she's young, maybe this isn't a great idea, you know?
I kind of feel like I'm leading her on, even though we have both been up front about not wanting anything serious. I feel like it wouldn't be right just to dismiss her based on one date just because she doesn't live up to my probably unrealistic standards.
Should i jump ship, or would it be nutso to stick around and see where things go, even though there isn't much attraction or common ground? | this girl really likes me, but i'm only so-so about her. I want to keep dating her even though I'm not really attracted to her... |
t3_268dzb | personalfinance | My Uncle just offered to pay for my schooling. Now what? | My Uncle drunkenly told my brother and I last Thanksgiving that he would be willing to pay for some schooling in order to help us improve our lives. He gave us his business card, wrote his personal number down and told us to call when we were ready." I am 20 years old and my brother is 26. We've both taken some classes at a community college but not many. I have never had a large sum of money to put toward my career so I have no idea what to do with it. He never specified an amount but during the conversation he also said "I paid for you cousins schooling (which was around $12,000) and look at him now." My Uncle is pretty wealthy so if I asked for more I don't think he would turn me down, just be proud.
My mom lets me live at home for free and made my brother start paying rent when he was 25. Although it's embarrassing living with your mom, it's also means I'm living rent free for 5 more years. Her and I get along and she understands that living with her only now only helps my future.
I'm interested in a Mechanical Engineering degree but have no idea how to go about it besides just plucking away at General ed until I can transfer to Sacramento State. Should I just keep doing that? or? I hope this is enough information and the question is direct enough.
Thanks in advance. | Uncle offers around $12,000(maybe more) for schooling and I don't what my next step to take is as far as getting my Mechanical Engineering degree. |
t3_4uoizd | personalfinance | Raise Negotiation - Saved ~195,000/yr to the company | Hi personal finance, I've been working for a mid-size company for past 2 years as commodity risk analyst, 1st job since university. Currently getting paid 60k yearly, I would like negotiate a 5k pay raise for the following reasons:
1. Since almost a year, I've been given new responsibilities replacing a consultant taking care 100% of a side business for the company. They will not renew his contract ending this December and I took all his responsibilities. Moreover, I will keep SOME parts of my job and the rest will be divided to my team without new headcount. Over the past couple of months, I stayed longer hours, learned complete new business, travel more, etc. I still have the same title. The current consultant is paid 145k/yr, he has over 30y experience in this side business, 14y with the company as consultant. He is teaching me everything basically.
2. 6 months ago, I found a bug in the contract pricing program charging clients less than it should be (wrong calculation). I did the math vs past years and this will increase profit by ~50k. Management knows about that and I received an "acknowledgement" letter with 2 hockey tickets.
*The way I look at it, myself and our department will save 195k/yr to the company estimated. Does 5k raise make sense? Is it too aggressive or not enough? Should I ask for 10k and reduce to 5k when they counter?
*My boss is no VP, but report to the president/CEO. Should I talk to him or HR for the raise?
*Each year we have a "automatic" raise based on overall performance and review but I guess they will say like: "So we increase your pay by 4% or something. GJ. Keep it up" like they did last year. Also I can't find much comparable salary on glassdoor, etc goes from 50 to 90k in different industries.
Thanks for your help guys! :) | save ~195k yearly for the company, want to request a 5k increase, how do I approach this? |
t3_3d9roe | dating_advice | Tinder help. I'm fine in person, but I'm crap at Tinder, any help? | Ok, so I used Tinder a while back and I was chatting with some ladies but I got into a serious relationship (not from Tinder) very quickly and just kinda dropped it.
So, there's that mess.
I've logged in again and there are quite a few matches that I want to try to salvage, but I would imagine I should probably just start fresh, right?
Some of them I started talking to and there's no reply from them (probably because I over-did it), some replied months ago and I never got back to and some were just matches that no-one had said anything on.
Is there anything I can say to salvage those?
Also, and this might be nothing, but I was chatting to someone and I think I over-did it again. But this was only today and I think I might be able to pull it back... but how?
Tinder is so alien to me, my full-on flamboyance (no homo) doesn't really work in text. | version of her autobiography for fun so we could get to know each other.... Balls. |
t3_3qi1dj | relationships | Me [19 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] How to stop being the "nice guy" ? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7+ months and things are going downhill and they need to be fixed. I have identified the problem as me being too much of a "nice guy". She even told me one night when we were both drunk that "I'm too nice and it gets boring". And she's right, at the end of the day I'm a doormat. I'm a pushover, I hardly ever get mad, I can't say no, and have trouble standing up for my self. I rely on her and put literally all of my effort into this relationship. Buying her food, clothes, gifts, etc and giving her everything she wants/needs while I get almost nothing in return.
Now my girlfriend has taken advantage of this and manipulates me. She's generally mean to me and never used to be like this because she knows she can without suffering any consequences.
How do I become that dominant, mysterious, commanding man that controls the relationship without being a douchebag? | Need to fix my relationship by stop being a "nice guy" and getting walked over without becoming a douchebag. Do not give me the "break up", "there are plenty of fish in the sea" answer please... |
t3_1uc9lf | relationships | Me [21 M] with my conservative girlfriend [22 F] of a few months, won't have sex. How to keep it interesting in bed? | First off, I'm not in the least bit wanting to push her towards changing her mind about remaining abstinent until marriage. I'm totally OK with that & support it 100%.
My question is how to keep our "sex"-life varied, without actually having sex? She's been OK with everything but actual penetration, but it seems to me that the typical making out, hands-on (and in) activities, & oral may grow repetitive. It certainly hasn't yet, but assuming this relationship will continue for multiple years, I could see how it could.
I'm not *entirely* new at this, but this is the first relationship I've been in that I could easily see it lasting a long time, despite not having sex. My biggest fear is one or both of us getting bored with the standard routine & in turn, getting bored with the relationship as a whole. I really want this to work out, but I'm worried that a predictable formula is going to grow old fairly quickly. | How can I keep things interesting in bed, without actual sex on the table? |
t3_cnjr4 | AskReddit | I just got fired... | Basically since orientation it seems my manager had it out for me.
My ex-company requires new hires to complete some online training courses but since I was an intern and my internship wasn't going to last until the due date of the courses I made a **joke** about how I wouldn't need to do them. My manager was sitting at my table. I completed those courses within 2 weeks of starting and none of the other interns have done so, atleast as of this past Monday. She brought the joke up in the meeting, and when I heard that given as reason, I just looked at her and was thinking WTF?!?!? and she just looked at me and does the shoulder raise. Can't really describe what she did but it seemed she purposefully worded it in a way as to detract from my work.
They complained about my attendance. Some of it was truth but most of it was either lies or half-truths said in a fashion to make it look bad. For example, I told my manager that one morning I need to go pick up my granddad and dad from the airport but told the supervisor that my dad picked him up and I have to go pick him up from the airport. I later realized I phrased that pretty badly and when I couldn't find my supervisor through phone, email, or visiting her office to offer a clarification, I told my manager instead. I asked her to relay this information to my supervisor but she did not. That incident was brought up in the meeting. There is a whole list of other stuff like this and if anyone actually reads this and wants more, I'll tell them in an edit.
What I really want to know however is that does anyone know if it is the law to give an intern (full-time) two week notice or can they just terminate me on the spot?
I actually made a few comments to some other interns that I was either going to be fired or quit because my boss has it out for me. I said this maybe 2 weeks ago. | Can a company legally terminate a full-time intern without 2 weeks notice? |
t3_lsph3 | AskReddit | Is there a song that somehow makes you resent other people? | Dynamite by Taio Cruz used to piss me off in my senior year in high school when it came out. I was bullied by the entire school from 8th grade to the end of 10th grade. I moved after that, and applied to and was accepted to a magnet school full of honor students. It was a very small school, and they had already bonded, and were always so fucking happy. They all loved this song ("I'm gonna celebrate and live my life"). They were always talking about awesome memories and good times. Me, having had my most of my teen years ruined, was pissed off at them when it played, because they got to get good grades *and* enjoy themselves fully. Needless to say, I avoided befriending any of them. | Song made me think about how life isn't fair sometimes. |
t3_1gr9vt | legaladvice | [WA] Friend (minor) arrested during Mayday 2013 protests in Seattle, held for three days, no charges pressed at the time, now they're pressing charges | On Mayday 2013 in Seattle, my friend (16) participated in the protests non-violently, flashbangs or some sort of concussion grenades were thrown near where my friend was standing, disorientating him and causing him to be unable to respond to the officers' commands to disperse. He was arrested for "Failure to disperse," and held in juvie for three days before being released. No charges were pressed.
Now, more than a month later, they've come back and given him a court date saying that they've got evidence now that he "failed to disperse" and they're pressing charges against him. The people around him were vandalizing property, but he was not participating in that.
Is there any hope for him to get out of this one? He wasn't one of the people breaking things, nor was he violent towards anyone else, including the police. He already served three days in juvie without being charged (I don't understand how they were allowed to do that). | Minor friend was not violent at Mayday protests, but "failed to disperse" when told to by police, got sent to juvie for three days and released without being charged, now he's being charged. |
t3_2gjoup | relationships | My [31M] then-girlfriend [33F], now wife of 2 mos. had an emotional affair on me while we were dating. How should I feel about this? | It just came to my attention that wife was sending nude pics back and forth with a guy for two years while we were dating.
I found out that they had a fling before we formally began our relationship, but apparently the provocative e-mails, nude photos, and flirting never stopped.
Now we're married. I just found a bunch of pictures. It was still taking place 9 days before I proposed.
I have that nervous pit in my stomach. We've only been married two months now. I'm committed to her, I love her very much, but what transgressed is completely against my values. I would have never thought about doing anything like that to her.
Where am I supposed to go from here? | Found two years worth of pics, flirty e-mails between my then-girlfriend (now wife) and another guy. Now married, I'm finding myself in a predicament. Do I love or leave? |
t3_3dszcz | relationships | Me [25F] with [26m] just had second date (met online) who appeared male, but is transgender. | Hi.
This is a throwaway for fairly obvious reasons. I have a ton of reddit friends, and am fairly active on /r/OkCupid. I'd like to have some privacy.
I just went on the second date with a really, really awesome guy.
I messaged him first, asking his favorite subreddit. (I searched for users who had "reddit" in their profiles).
Our conversation was full of lengthy, interesting messages.
Our first date was at a brewery/pub that is quite famous locally for it's great brews.
I left totally entranced by him. I just wanted to know more. He was intriguing and interesting and interested in ME!
Anyway. I messaged him the next morning asking for a second date. He said he also had a great time, and was excited. We went to a comedy club and got fire-stone pizza afterward.
Again, the conversation was awesome. I invited him back to my place. He hesitated and said he wanted to get to know me better before "moving too fast".
I was surprised, but he asked if he could kiss me (I said yes!) He did. And then we were on our way.
The next day we were texting and he said, "I need to share something with you before our third date."
I was hesitant, but said okay. He said, "I was not born male. I'm a trans guy."
I said, "I'm not sure what that means, but maybe we should chat about it over a pint?"
He said yes, I asked when/where, he gave me a pub and said tomorrow at 7pm.
What the hell can I expect? I don't... I don't even know.
We haven't talked since we confrimed time/location for tomorrow.
I have been ruminating/freaking out for hours. Am going to bed. Hoping to wake up to some... some help? | Met a guy online. Really liked him. Second date was awesome. He told me he's trans, planning on a third date, but not even sure what to do?! |
t3_11lpg5 | dating_advice | have I been overly clingy? (20m/20f) | I started seeing a girl about a month ago. We have a lot of common interested like books, video games, politics, etc. So I went on a couple of unofficial dates with her. 3 to be specific. 2 were just us two, one was with her uni friends. We haven't kissed yet.
During the first 2-3 weeks of this, she was really responsive whenever I talked to her on fb, the convo was always good, and she'd always say goodbye with a "xx".
She has all her assignments due in the next week or so though, and she's been working on them a lot for the last week. She told me that during this period she doesn't really have a social life. But whenever I try and talk to her on fb, which is every few days or so, she takes ages to respond, doesn't really talk much and doesn't say goodbye with a "xx" anymore.
Also, she has never initiated convo over facebook, it's always me. I don't know what to do. Should I push and ask her to hang out again? Or should I just wait until all her work is done and then see if she wants to hang? I mean surely she could take half a day out to see me... | girl is giving me the cold shoulder, not sure if it's because she's genuinely busy or because she has no interest in me. |
t3_48hw25 | legaladvice | Dog almost bit someone when she burst into my house uninvited. Would I have been held liable for her injuries? | This takes place in Texas at a college town. I live in a house my mother owns with only my brother, me, and a roommate that doesn't have anything to do with this story.
The other night my older brother, his college friend 'Mark', and I were hanging out in the living room playing some games and having a good time. Seemingly out of nowhere, the front door was forcibly opened, making it slam into the wall as Mark's girlfriend came in drunk and screaming at him. Immediately, my short-haired pointer jumped off the couch next to me and was 2 seconds away from biting the intruder if I hadn't of grabbed her back leg and held on tight. My brother and Mark proceeded to kick her out and lock the door, not letting her back in. (Also, she drove here drunk, if that's relevant. It's obviously too late to call the police on that.)
Mark's girlfriend has never been to my home before and she was definitely not invited by either me, my brother, or Mark. Mark had told her where she was, but never invited her over either. She came in completely unannounced and started screaming, as she was apparently pissed at Mark for something. Understandable, my dog went into immediate attack mode, as she thought she was a threat with the girlfriend's violent reactions. Otherwise, she's the sweetest dog in the world and loves everyone.
My question is, would I have been held liable if my dog had bitten mark's girlfriend? Obviously, Mark has broken up with her no and he has texts that say not to come over and he'll be home in a couple hours. | Dog almost bit a friend's girlfriend who showed up to my house drunk, screaming, and without an invitation. Would I be held liable for her injuries if my dog attacked? |
t3_4dd5ce | Advice | What do I do about this unprofessional tattoo laser removal lady? | I see her for tattoo laser removal, she is not very nice, she gave me an ultimatum, she said if I don't see her again she is going to ban me from the place, but it wasnt' a direct threat, it al started off with her telling me of whom she banned this other geezer from the joint because he used to always cancel on her, I took this as personal attack.
I should just stop going there and I am going to cancel, I just feel guilty and feel like I have to please her even though I don't want another tattoo laser session.
She is scary and is talking about other patients behind my back and is telling me about them and I don't know what she's trying to achieve. Is this unprofessional? | What do I do about this lady and restore my dignity? |
t3_36zlid | relationships | [Infidelity] I [22 M] JUST found out my girlfriend of nearly a year and a half [18 F] cheated on me last night. I don't know what to do and I need some advice | I woke up this morning to a message from her one of her cousins. She had spent the night at her cousin's house and apparently brought a guy there when they all went out. I asked her about this and she was extremely vague, but confirmed it. I don't know anything about this kid or anything more, only that her cousin beat the shit out of this kid after finding them together.
I'm so confused. We were hanging out just before. No fights, no argument. Nothing. All she told me is that she didn't plan this, it just happened, but I don't know if I believe that. The kid is a stranger to the cousin, so she brought him over... I don't know what to do. What do I do? I'm so hurt, I trusted her. She always told me about how she was cheated on and could never do that to somebody. How do I date from here on out? How do I trust someone now that my trust has been thrown in my face?
Obviously this relationship is over. What do I do from here? What can I expect feelings-wise? I haven't cried or gotten angry yet, I don't really feel much of anything right now, but I'm fairly certain it's only a matter of time. Please, someone tell me what to do. | Girlfriend slept over cousins house. She brought a guy over and another cousin walked in on them and told me. She confirmed, but told me nothing else. What can/should I do? |
t3_21u50i | AskReddit | How do I deal with an already bad roommate who is also now cheating on his GF? | Ok, so here's the deal. A roommate of ours has been making our life for the past year an absolute hell. Late rent, stealing food, breaking our property, refusing to pick after himself, doesn't clean dishes, etc. basically everything you shouldn't do as a considerate..well normally functioning human being. Recently he has gone on a HUGE cheating spree on his GF, nearly a new girl over 2-3 times a week and its getting ridiculous! Normally I'm an advocate of letting karma taking its course but in this case I think its moving a little too slowly. I, no the entire house has been patient with him all year and trying to be proactive by sitting him down and discussing things like adults but we have had enough. So long story short, and I do apologize about the length, but how can I fuck with this kid because we all agree he needs a hearty blow to the head to wake him up and realize how much of an ass he's being. | roommate is a worthless cheating ass-hat and needs to be dealt with |
t3_qeg7p | relationships | Y U NO like sexy pictures?? | Okay, reddit. Here's my problem. My SO [30-m] and I [27-f] have been together for a little over a year. I don't remember when exactly, but at some point I started sending him 'naughty' pictures. He loved it! I've done it around 6 times now I think, so about once every couple of months. The response became less and less enthusiastic every time. The last time I sent some, I felt like I was being flirty and sexy and just a bit of a tease since he was out with his friends. But he didn't respond, at all. When we spoke the next day (he got home after I was asleep), I asked him how his night went, he said it was fun and he had gotten "distracted" a couple of times. Me: "Oh yeah..why's that?" Him: "Well I got this message while my phone was sitting on the table for everyone to see." Me: "Oh. I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't annoying or embarrassing." Him: "No, it was okay." Done. I said later that it wouldn't happen again and he seemed pretty happy with that.
So what the hell, reddit? Why doesn't he want me doing this anymore? I thought it was sexy and guys liked this kind of thing.
Problem#2 that stemmed from this. I'm having a moment of insecurity. I feel less sexy, or at least less sexy to him. But if I talk to him about this and I'm all insecure and needing to be reminded that he thinks I'm sexy, then that just makes me even less sexy because insecurity is about as far from sexy as you can get. So what's the solution? I need a little bit of a reminder from him that he thinks I'm hot, but I can't just tell him that's what I need without making the situation worse. I've even found myself tempted to get this kind of reminder from one of my guy friends. | 1) My boyfriend doesn't seem to like naughty pictures. Why?? 2) How do i tell him I need to be told I'm sexy without looking insecure? |
t3_2k0k5u | relationships | Me [25F] with my BF [28 M]- Dating 9-10 months. | My current boyfriend has never been in love. He's had a string of relationships in the past, the longest probably lasting a year. He has never told them he loved them either.
He explained to me towards the beginning of our relationship that he wasn't quite sure what love meant to him and the "honeymoon stages" of relationships are a combination of hormones in our brain. He's clearly very analytical. This bothers me because I know I will eventually need the reassurance of love within a longer term relationship.
He has told me that he cares for me and that he likes our relationship the best out of all relationships. This is completely fine for me, I tend to see "slowburn" relationships as more stable in the long term anyway. We are very committed and attend weddings/family events together. We just returned from a long weekend with his parents (out of the country) so I am quite sure that he is committed and his not just stringing me along.
My problem lies in the fact that I feel like I'm falling in love. I fear that if I tell him he will either lie to keep me around or tell me he isn't ready to say those words. That will give us an uneven power dynamic.
To compound my uncertainty, I was recently told by a good friend that if a man "doesn't feel love within 6 months, he never will." I'm really unsure what to think of that, but it sounds very simplistic.
Should I just cut my losses in a very happy relationship with the uncertainty that he may never love me, or should I give it more time? | 25F with 28M SO of almost 10 months. He hasn't told me he loves me yet, wondering if this is too long and if I should cut my losses. He is unsure of what love means and has never been in love. |
t3_4s2xxj | relationships | I [19 M] am afraid my paranoia drives away my best friends. | I have a **tendency to never clarify misunderstandings and have a hard time letting go of them**. Unfortunately after holding on to misunderstandings from weeks to months, **I become convinced that my friends are angry with me or hate me.** Eventually after much frustration, I bring up to them what I have a problem with, **only to realize it was all a misunderstanding and nothing was wrong.**
What triggers this is **usually a period of a few days when I haven't gotten the chance to talk to them.** I believe this could be because **my mind tends to try and assume what others are thinking.** I seem to **always assume the worst**, and this complicates many situations for me.
I believe it stems from my **fear of abandonment (from other friendships)** and I've also **seen this behavior in my Mom.**
**I want to change my behavior, and confront misunderstandings early so I can avoid becoming paranoid. What are some tips to go about confronting friends about misunderstandings? | My susceptibility to misunderstands, and tendency to avoid confrontation, makes me paranoid about whether my friends like me. Often times leading to confrontations where I realize I imagined most of the problems in my own head. |
t3_1xe29t | self | LGBT Community's Opinion please! | Okay, bear with me please.
I was raised in one of those extremely religious/Christian atmospheres where I was taught being gay is a sin and blah blah blah. I'm sure you have all heard all of this already. Back when I was in my early teens (and before I really started formulating my own opinions) I believed that being gay was wrong, but it wasn't my place to judge others for what they do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. I was raised in a very small community of Christian people who all believed that same thing. When I first started branching out and went to public school for the first time, I encountered gay/lesbian people, and wasn't really sure how to act around them or how not to offend them. I wanted to be considerate of their feelings and not make them feel bad for how they were. I wasn't sure what terminologies or behaviors were considered offensive. So what did fifteen year old me do? I went running to an online lesbians support group.
I posted on there that I felt being gay/lesbian was wrong, but that it wasn't my place to ever tell a gay/lesbian friend that I thought it was wrong unless they specifically asked me. I asked for help on what was considered offensive and how I should behave around my new friends whom were lesbian/gay. The admin of the sight commented on my thread saying this was a support group for lesbians and that they would be watching my thread very closely because of the controversial nature of it. I responded with the fact that I was just honestly lost and didn't know where else to go with these questions other than to the very people they concerned. My thread ended up getting deleted, and I was banned from the site for that thread.
Was I wrong to go there for help? I needed support to. I didn't want to hurt my new friends but I also wanted to stand by my convictions at the time. I didn't know where else to go. Was my thread/request as insensitive/wrong as the admin of the site made me feel it was? Perhaps the request itself was not wrong, just the way I put it (saying I thought being gay was wrong)? | Was raised in an anti-gay community, didn't know how to react to new gay friends. Went to an online lesbian support group to ask for help on what was or wasn't considered offensive towards the LGBT community while simultaneously proclaiming being gay was wrong. I think I'm kind of an idiot. |
t3_3f07xh | relationship_advice | [31/m] am I an asshole for wanting to leave (29/f) | I feel like a total dbag for wanting to leave my wife of 6 years. The only real reason I have is that I don't love her.
I used to be crazy about her, and I want that feeling again of being totally in love with someone, but I dont think its going to happen with her (we've tried couples therapy, reading books etc.).
I know its not supposed to be sparks for the rest of our lives, but I did think its supposed to be enjoyable, our relationship and sex life have fizzled over time.
I don't really find her interesting, she doesn't really have goals or feel driven to achieve anything amazing (I am driven and entrepreneurial, want to start my own business soon etc.). When we first got together she wanted to be a wife and mother, and I thought great that lines up with what I want.
With those ticked off, I kind of figured she'd have something after that, but not really. She has a job, but she complains a lot about that too, and to be quite honest she just talks and talks (a lot) and never really has a conversation with me. She gets very angry if I mention this.
She berates me for going to work events, social events, networking etc. which sucks because I love the buzz around that sort of thing.
We are civil towards each other, and can stick it out for the kids. She wants to be romanced but I dont really want to pursue her any more, which makes me feel like even more of an asshole. She's always been there for me, and supported me in a lot of ways, I feel so guilty for wanting to leave. I mentioned a trial separation once and she was furious and said that either its over or we're together.
[Also as an FYI: Part of the catalyst for me wanting to leave, is that I met a coworker about 18 months ago, and we have chemistry. Im not sure if she is in a relationship, but she drives me wild, the thought of even going out with her sets my heart racing, and Im kind of worried that I dont have that with my wife in about 3 years.] | reasons I want to leave my wife: I don't love her and I find her company unpleasant even though she loves and supports me. what would be good reasons to end a marriage? |
t3_mf2pc | AskReddit | Can't get my almost 2 year old to eat anything new HELP! | My kid will be 2 in January, and he is the most stubborn picky eater that my wife or I have ever seen. He will eat crackers with or without hummus, endlessly. He will eat applesauce, french fries, and bananas. If either of us try to get him to eat anything other then these few things, he completely refuses. He yells NO and throws a fit. Its been going on for as long as he started eating normal food and it is EXTREMELY frustrating that we cant get him to try anything else. If he doesnt recognize it as one of the mentioned things, its like we are the meanest parents in the world and are trying to feed him the most disgusting things ever. This excerpt doesnt do a justice to how stubborn and ridiculous his anti-eating fits are. Please help. | Cant get my almost 2 year old to eat anything other then a few select foods. |
t3_1v61t4 | offmychest | I love you, but i cant let this friendship end | I have a friend, a best friend, one i cherish as i do my own flesh and blood, but she is my best friend. Why would that be a problem? Well she helped me out of an abusive relationship, she pulled me out of depression, and now she helping me trust again. She compliments me every day and when she does i smile from ear to ear, and my day, not matter how shit, becomes instantly better. But i cant ask her out, i have the balls to, i have asked out many girls before, but
Good god i love this girl, and i fear thag the flirts and hints she drops are my mind's misinterpretations. I need her now as a friend, and she needs a boy friend, (proven by many Skype calls together from her own words) which i want to be. I would be the happiest man alive, but i need her to be happy, and i want to wait till i know for sure it's what she wants. | The girl of my dreams is my best friend, and i cant find a way of going about asking her out with a chance of rejection and losing our friendship. |
t3_3a2swh | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend[18F] 2 years lied to me about here she was going. | So my girlfriend and I both go to the same school and after class she usually goes home with me but today she said her mom would come pick her up and look for a new phone as her current phone literally doesn't work anymore.
Here's a bit of background before I go further. My girlfriend and I both met in sophomore year and dated since then. We're now in first year university and til this date, she hasn't cheated on me or at least there is no suspicion for me to believe she has. Until now. I know her Facebook account password and another guy messaged her before asking if she needed help for one of her classes and he could help. She said sure and they met up after school for him to tutor her as she was struggling in that class. She told me about this and I was cool with it because I knew beforehand when they were going to mettup and whatnot so I realized I should trust her more as she didn't lie to me.
But today, she tells me shes going with her mom to look at phones and whatnot. Wrong, I checked her Facebook today and she's going to hangout with the same guy at a local coffee shop to tutor him this time in Calculus; a course he is struggling in. The thing is, I can't call her or text her since her phone is legitimately dead until she gets home where she can message me through Facebook or use her home phone.
Where do I go on for here? I don't want to tell her I know her password, should I say someone spotted her at the place they went? And even if I do, what's there to say? Or should I act like I don't know and wait to see if he messages her back or something like that? | Girlfriend lied about where she was going to tutor one of her guy friends. |
t3_101ssq | relationships | My boyfriend [20m] seems to have chosen his Fraternity over me [22F] | We're going on 3 years dating, and it was amazing for the first 2 years. Recently there has been a lot more strain, partly because we were long distance for a while, and partly because he has been spending increasing time at his fraternity and less time hanging out with me. We usually see each other at least every other day, but he usually only wants to hang out if it's at the fraternity house.
As a 22 year old girl, I've already graduated college and work 5 full days a week. He is doing an internship and can pretty much choose his own hours, so he gets upset that I don't want to party every night. He stays up until 2 or 3 am every night, and only hangs out at his frat house. I can't convince him to go out with my friends and me, and he will rarely go to bars or apartment parties. I don't like being at the frat because I'm the oldest girl there by 3 years, and I just think it's really immature.
I still love him a lot, but it's been ages since he's asked me to hang out in a situation that wasn't at the frat house. I try to take him places and sometimes he'll agree, but he's almost never at my apartment and the only nights we spend together at at the fraternity. He assures me that this is only because classes haven't started yet (our school starts very late) and he is making the most of summer. It's putting a huge strain on me, though, because all of my friends go out on romantic dates and I'm just stuck drinking cheap beer with underage kids in a frat house.
He's never cheated on me, but lots of girls text him constantly and they're all over him when I'm at the frat. They know me as "Mrs. *his name*" so I know nothing fishy is going on, but it's still a little weird to me that he has so many girl friends. | I'm worried that my boyfriend is more into his frat than he is into me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. |
t3_1u8o85 | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 5 months, not really interested but many shared interests. | Ok so I've known this girl for about 6 months now, dating/seeing each other for about 5. We share a LOT of similar interests, and get along fantastically, have great communication, can spend a lot of time together...but we spend a lot of time together. For some reason I am just not as interested anymore, physically speaking. The sex is meh, to the point where I don't want to have it anymore. And it has nothing to do with her, she does everything perfectly. I just don't feel physically attracted to her anymore, or just not interested in a relationship.
She is, however, one of my closest friends. I can talk to her, spend time with her, and feel the most comfortable around her. I just don't see her as dating material. She broke up with her first boyfriend of 3 years about a month or so before we started dating, and she recently confessed she is insecure about her body and is afraid of being hurt again like her previous boyfriend, which puts a ton of pressure on me to do the absolute right thing by her.
Some thoughts of mine- we're spending too much time together, smothering me, or am I just not ready for a relationship? | With gf for 5 months. Exclusive for 2. Connect on a billion similar interests. Great communication. She's spectacular in bed. I'm not physically attracted or not ready for relationship. She's insecure about body and doesn't want to be hurt like her last boyfriend. What do I do? Am I just being smothered? Or am I not ready for a relationship? |
t3_4egpnx | relationship_advice | [19/M] Need Advice on girl [17/F] | So I am 19 and this is really hard/awkward for me to talk about because truth be told I have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl if the whole truth is to come out. 12-14 days ago I met this girl at a friends party I really liked her and thought she was super cool so I tried making conversation best I could but couldn't really get to talk to her alone as it was quite a small party. Anyway, I added her on Facebook and since then I have tried making smalltalk which is something I find extremely hard.
Anywaaay fastforwarding to the end of the night I had had quite a lot to drink and last I remember is her walking me to my place as I was yeah.. drunk... *regrets* as I probably could have asked her out or something similar if I wasn't dulled by the alcohol
I have some questions to ask, and I would appreciate help as I don't know what to do as I don't think i've felt like this for someone before
1. Since this is a friends friend (only friends) should I ask my friend for permission to ask her out?
2. How do I know if she's interested? I have only had conversations with her over social media recently.
3. Should I back off because of the age difference? I am not a very big guy and I kind of look like 16 or so.. lol
4. So obviously I don't want to creep her out, but what's the best way to ask her out/ for her number? Since I don't know if she is even into me I don't want to push her or go even if she doesn't want to, how do I express this?
5. So say everything goes to plan and she wants to go to the movies or something, what's fine? Handholding? Jokes? I have problems really "coming out" and being me to other people than my friends, how do I overcome this?
I had tons of questions a few hours ago at work but now I just can't think of any... If you have some tips/suggestions please help cause I don't know how to continue with this | Was drunk at party, walked home together, added her on facebook.. What do I do? |
t3_2pefs2 | relationships | How do I [18/F] show my (amazing) [18/M] best friend that I appreciate him? | My best friend is so amazing. Whenever I feel down he calls me and listens to my problems, trying to make me feel better and I don't even have to ask for it. When I thank him for it he says "always for you". He cares about my well being a lot. When it's cold outside he'd give me his jacket, his gloves or even his scarf.
We're together almost every day and he always has time for me, and enjoys spending time together. He gives me compliments and shows affection sometimes by putting his arm around me and pulling me close.
I got a stuffed animal from a mutual friend and he noticed how happy I was with it and how cute I thought it was and he said "shall I buy you one too haha" and I said why and he said that that way, I'll have one from my best friend too.
He's protective over me, and makes me feel safe. I can talk to him about everything. And whenever I have a problem he's there for me.
I feel like, I'm not giving him back enough and I want to show him how much I appreciate our friendship. | best friend is giving me lots of love, want to know what I can do to show appreciation. |
t3_2p8p1k | relationships | I[16f] found my dad[mid 50s] looking at Craigslist casual encounters. (Married to my mom for 17 years). Is he just curious? | So I got back from my job and found my father asleep on the couch with his laptop open. For details, he's in his mid fifties, has been married to my mom for 17 years, and works a very demanding job in which he is gone from 6am-6pm on a good day. I wanted to tell him goodnight and I saw that the computer was open and when I went to close it I saw that it was open to a casual encounter ad that had a woman looking for a educated man around my fathers age (along with profanity and slang).
I quietly backed away in shock because I didn't know how to feel. I did tell my mom and she went to talk to him after I went downstairs. I listened in and I heard him come up with a jumble of excuses including the name of a male coworker, and the fact that he was just curious. My mom then refuted this with the fact that he went directly to the ad- it wasn't totally like he was casually browsing. When she told him he would be sleeping on the couch- and he asked why- she said that his face explained it all. (Of course I couldn't see).
What I'm asking here is if he is just curious, or if this could be a sign of something more. They haven't had any disagreements lately and he always is affectionate and loving. He does spend some extra time out after work sometimes but he says he spends it at a restaurant that he does frequent often.
Reddit, what's your opinion? I'm feeling uncomfortable, confused, and slightly angry. Any personal expierence or opinions welcome. My mother is also looking for advice on how to handle it as well. Thank you so much. | Caught dad on ad for casual sex - been married to my mom for 17 years - not sure what this means. Advice welcome. |
t3_2a7ou0 | loseit | [NSV] Ate way too much, felt terrible about myself, went on a run, ran the most I ever have! | I started a new job that caters lunch 3 times a week. It has not been good for the diet. I had a big mexican lunch today, and got home with the intention of going on a run and then having a light dinner. Instead, I had like an avocado worth of guac + chips + some bread + brie, putting my total for the day at 2000 (I usually aim for 1300). I felt so shitty, and was about to call it quits on the day. Instead, I gave myself 45 mins to digest and went on a run.
Ended up using all that energy I had eaten throughout the day, and ran 8.15 miles at an 8:05 pace!
The farthest I've ever run in my life before was 7 miles. I feel awesome. | Never gave up on your day because you messed your diet up. |
t3_uy3yh | Pets | Hi r/pets, my dog is sick and I have no idea what to do. | Basically starting from the last two or three days my dog began to throw up his very frequently (around once or twice a day). The throw up is very watery and will usually have some leftover food bits in it. He is also very lethargic and practically sleeps or just lays on his bed the whole day now. He still responds when I call him up and is eager to go for walks but either than that he does nothing.
Also I probably can't take him to the vet (why else would I be here) because both of my parents are unemployed right now and I don't think we can afford it (but I'm sure if he is in dire need they will take him) and my dad, who usually does most of our families "stuff", is currently out of the country and may not be back for some time.
My dog is a 13 years old and is a mainly a Beagle.
I appreciate you for taking the time to read this and any opinions or advice you have to offer. | My 13 year old Beagle is throwing up a lot and I probably won't be able to take him to a vet. |
t3_33f359 | tifu | TIFU by being just a friend | Ok so you may not (definitely don't) remember me from a while back. I had a problem with these to girls in my life but that's in the past. What is my fuck up is that I've taken what I thought I should from the advice given and applied it in a well special way.
So there's me , Jane and may. Me and Jane were great friends . hugs , holding each other and jokes all the time. Me and may are about the same but less time around with other people more one on one .
me and may had a moment of what I call maturity( we kissed then proceeded to make out). I know I sound like a child but that's how I approach girls, I'm just all jokes and smiles. So this moment turned out to be our fall out . we didn't talk for weeks. I had no idea wtf happened just made me cry a bit.
Now back to Jane , we are good friends but when she gets her self a boyfriend about 99% of her time is with him. She gets boring when she's not single. This bothers me because me and her hang out a lot so my day slows down a bit. So I decided to bring up this as well as the other issues. This was a mistake. Well a series of mistakes. (1) I pulled her away from her boyfriend(he protective), (2) the talk we had was about us about the relationship she was in and wtf is going on between me and her. (There's the 3 mistake in the but I can't differ it from the rest). So we talk all is well.... But not with him, he's asking what the hell did I say. Because she is now questioning being with him. Just to speed this up we got into a fight and me and Jane are what fan only be explain as worlds apart.
Getting back to May quickly. As it turns out being a grown and mature person for short periods of time still allows for feeling to be caught. I'm in love. But she only interested in friendship. | fought best friend boyfriend , girl I love now only wants friendship |
t3_t3pph | dating_advice | Messaged a friend of a friend to get to know her but its like pulling teeth. | So heres the deal. A friend of mine put a status up the other day that a friend of hers was tagged in. Just so happened to click on the girls facebook page and from her one picture she seemed really pretty. So I asked my friend what her deal was and was told she is single and I should message her. I did, told her why I was messaging her and who I was, or how I found her in better terms. Been asking her questions like what do you do for fun and so on but im getting one word responses. How do I change this or should I just let it go and see if she says more to me at another time and if not just forget it? | messages a friend of a friend and I am only getting one word responses back to my attempts to get to know her. |
t3_2ubjpj | relationships | My sister [15F] who knows little and is curious about sex wants to watch 50 Shades of Grey with her friends (and other sex-movies). I'm [21M] | Some context. We are from a religious conservative family. We are close, and she tells me almost everything. She's has only had 2 boyfriends, only done kissing. Because we are close and I am significantly older we sometimes talk about sexuality.
I'm happy to see her leave the phase when she would think that boys/men in commercials and movies looked disgusting, I had sometimes thought it might be unhealthy and a result of her education by my parents. She has a childhood friend (same age) with who she as been watching romantic movies with. they literally choose what movie they will watch based on the male actors looks. 1 year ago I would think that was impossible. "hot guy" wasn't even in her vocabulary lol
Today she told me that her colleagues from school /same age) are going to watch 50 shades at the cinema, and that she wants to go too. I told her the movie is about BDSM, and that it is a bad representation of what is good/safe BDSM, and not about... vanilla sex. She understood my point, but said she still wanted to go and believes the "shock" could help change her mind regarding this things.
After that discussion she told me to recommend her other movies that I would consider good (to watch with her childhood friend). I have no idea what movies would be those... I told her to learn about sex a film is probably not the best way, and then said we would talk later.
I hope this is the right subreddit... this is more about sexuality than managing relationships. | Sister still learning about sex is going to watch 50 shades on the cinema with friends, and I think this is a terrible idea. She also asked me what would be good movies as a replacement. |
t3_3x0zo5 | relationships | Should I [26M] confront my wife [27F] about her search history? | Wife and I have been married for 3 years.
Recently the power strip I use on my office computer split/cracked in a spot and I felt it best to disconnect the power supply until I get a new power strip. I've been using my wife's secondary/old laptop that she uses for browsing the Internet. This was the best course of action to take so that she still has a work computer and I can use the laptop until I get a cord.
I occasionally use the office computer to post things from my businesses Facebook page. Since my wife was already logged in and she can post as the business as well as I can, I stayed signed in as her. Granted, I should've logged in as myself and posted as the page, but I'm lazy and didn't think anything of it.
After 30 minutes or so of dicking around posting as my business, promoting things, etc I somewhat forgot that I was logged into her account and was (still posting as business) about to message my wife to have her run some lunch to me.
Well, you know how once you click the search bar in Facebook it tells you who you've recently searched for? Under her most recent searches were 3 of her ex boyfriends. One of them even was one that did something to her that I can't actually say in the sub because I don't want to have to deal with automod, but it starts with R and rhymes with grape.
Should I confront her about this. Nothing in our relationship to make me think she's cheating or anything like that. I'm not worried about it so much as curious as to why she searched for them. I could've attempted to sate my curious it's and looked through her Facebook messages, but I don't want to go against her trust or anything. Should I confront her? | used wife's computer, inadvertently saw Facebook search history. Don't know whether to drop it or confront her. |
t3_41vq8r | relationships | Me [25 M] with my GF [22F] of 3 years; our very infrequent sex has led me to be disinterested in her | Throwaway because she browses this subreddit. Anyway, my GF and I met in college and moved in together right when we both graduated (we had been together about 2 years at that point). After about a year into the relationship, the amount of sex we were having declined dramatically. I didn't think too much of it as it's usually the nature of any relationship. Cut to now and the sex has nearly died out completely. I'd say it happens about once a month, if even that.
Now this has caused a little resentment towards her from my side. I've tried new things, bought over $100 worth of toys, and even talked to her about it but things never seem to change. All of it has lead up to my current confusing position where I don't want to do anything sexual with her and I'm trying to figure out why. I still love the hell out of the girl, but I think I've lost all faith that she is still attracted to me and any advances are out of pity rather than arousal. She of course will always deny this, but I can't help but still believe it.
I'm basically out of steam and I can't seem to want any sexual intimacy from the girl. I feel like it'll just be a disappointment for her and lead to even less sex. Has anyone been in this position before? Did you do anything to get that spark back? As I'm writing all this down I'm realizing most of this can be accredited to low self-esteem on my part. | Lack of sex has made me not want or expect it at all. What can I do? |
t3_4w7ijj | offmychest | My boss killed his dog | As some background: I am a 24 year old female working for a smallish, but well-known and well-regarded company where I live. What the company does is irrelevant for this post.
My boss has always been a dick. He is mean to all employees, yells when things that aren't that important are slightly off, and is a very dismissive person in general. I have never liked him, but today is the icing on the cake.
The boss often brings his older dog in to work with him. She is a sweet dog whom I pet often while working at my desk, and she loves attention.
Today, I came in at my usual time. Shortly after I began work, the boss came in alone. I didn't think anything of it. On some level I thought to myself "oh he didn't bring his dog in today", but as I said I was not fazed.
We started work at 7:30am.
3pm rolls around. He asks "Where did *dogs name* go?"
We all reply that we haven't seen the dog all day. He jokes that maybe she has been in the car all day. After which, he goes to check his car.
Guess who left his dog in the car all day?
I won't get into the specifics of the temperature, but needless to say, the dog died from the heat.
I really liked that dog. She was super sweet and nice and getting old and she was a staple of the office.
I don't know what to do I just feel so completely sick to my stomach. I hate him so much for doing that to a poor animal who totally trusted him.
What planet is he living in where he can forget his dog is with him in his car?
I get it that sometimes accidents happen, but with all of the other awful personality traits he has I just can't even stand to be in that office. The whole day felt like an eternity.
Really I want to quit and get out of there. Another part of me obviously thinks that that is a rash and bad idea. I don't know what to do. | My boss left his dog in a hot car all day and she died. What do I do about my feelings of hatred towards him? |
t3_3om7pl | tifu | TIFU by lying. | Happened a few years back, when I was 10 yrs or so.
I had moved to the Middle East, due to my Dad getting transferred here, and lived in a flat-type system. I only had 1 or 2 friends since no one else in the building was around my age. We all became really good friends after some time since we had some things in common.
To the actual fuck-up now. Being small, I was always curious about one thing or the other, which got the good of me.
My Dad and Mom were going out for regular shopping and all, and I decided to stay back with my friend at my place. As my Dad was in a hurry a bit, he forgot to take a 20 Dinar note he had kept in the shelf along side his wallet, he obviously took his wallet but didn't notice the note kept along side it since he was in a hurry.
Now that piece of money got me really intrigued, I always wondered what if I could get that cash and keep it all to myself! Imagine the things I could do! Me being the little 10 yr old bitch, excuse my self from my friend for a bit, and silently keep the note in my pocket. Mind you it was 20 Dinar(Bahrain's Currency), which is a lot of money.
My Dad is mostly particular about money and when he comes back, he searches for the note in the shelf. He asks my Mom if she knows where it was but to no avail. I literally turned into a pussy lol and was shivering to death inside. I didn't have the guts to spill it out. My Dad kept on thinking maybe he spent somewhere and what not but he eventually gave up.
Remember the note is still in my pants and I completely forgot about it that night and slept off. The next day, it's laundry time, my pockets are checked by Mom always because I tend to keep chocolate wrappers and whatnot in my pockets.
Gone. Mom finds the note. Tells about it to Dad. Both call me in the living room. Got a superb lecture about it. Cried like an asshole. But hey, learnt my lesson and I haven't lied about stuff from then on. Or have I? loljk | Don't lie to your parents. Even if you are hiding something, just say it fucking right now! There's no point in hiding something till you get fucked up! |
t3_1zj4sq | AskReddit | So we are 4 days into March, has anything pissed you off yet? | I work at a flight school as a working student pilot (i do shitty jobs for a pilots license). We had a function the other night and a whole lot of booze and food was bought for the students to consume, long story short i had other shit to do so i was only there for a hour, other girl doing the same job as me is in charge, she leaves and then students help themselves and finish everything and leave. Next day its a hell storm because the students ate everything... The fuck bro. Like, it was for them to eat. | management are a assholes. So how have your 4days been? |
t3_wjywc | relationships | Open relationship: Beginning to feel resentment since I feel l can't have fun. Details inside | So my S.O. (30f) of 6 months and I(27m) agreed on an open relationship (my suggestion). This week I went to a music festival but did not tell her since I didn't want to have her worry that I would be hooking up with people there (its quite a wild festival).
Once I arrive at the festival she texts me that a close friend of her has died and that she would like to see me for support. Since I lied about what I'd be doing for the weekend I just told her that I was tired and probably staying home for the weekend
She then became angry at me that I couldn't drive 10 minutes to comfort her (Although on reality I am 4+ hours away at the festival.)
Now I am heading back to go see her and had to leave the festival early. I still haven't told her that I was away, I feel that it would be worse to tell her the truth at this point. I.can't help but feel resentful since I had been looking forward to this festival for months now and I basically got zero enjoyment out of it since I was worried about if she was OK and also due to her sending me angry texts (Not to mention the total cost was about $400 for tickets, gear, food and transportation). I am now on the bus back and am having thoughts of just breaking it off with her although obviously now would be a bad time since her friend passed.
Am I just an insensitive asshole or a chump? What are your thoughts? | Open relationship, lied to gf told her I was going home and went to music festival instead. GFs friend passes away, on bus back early to see her. Feeling resentment, am I a dick? |
t3_43gevk | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M], doesn't listen when I give him suggestions for what presents to get me. Instead he gets things he likes | Okay the title may sound like I'm a spoiled little girl or something but just hear me out.
Just a little background: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months now. I love him dearly and I know he loves me as well. We have a great relationship and never have any major fights/issues. I honestly think he is my soul mate and we've both talked about a future together and are equally excited about spending the rest of our lives together.
The problem I've encountered is that whenever the occasion arises where he wants to get me a present/small gift or whatever, he completely bombs it. I know shopping for girls can be difficult for guys and whatnot, so I often give him suggestions or little hints to make it easier for him. He never takes these hints or suggestions...ever. Instead, what he does is he buys things that he's interested in and that fit in with his hobbies. I know he's not trying to be selfish or anything like that, I think he is trying to get me into some of the things he likes-which I'm just not into.
I feel bad because I never get any use out of the gifts he gives me since I'm simply not interested in them and have no use for them. I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything because honestly I'm not a materialistic person or anything, just when the time comes to buy me something (anniversary, christmas, birthday etc.) it ends with me faking that I like the gift. This has happened three times already and I just don't know how to confront him about it without seeming ungrateful. Suggestions? | Boyfriend is very sweet and likes giving me gifts, but he only buys things that interest him. |
t3_43svuh | relationships | Does my (25F) boyfriend (26M) love me? | We've been together for coming on 7 months now, and although we've said we like eachother many times, neither of us have said "I love you" yet. If he doesn't love me at this point, will he ever? We have had some arguments in the past over general things and mostly insecurities on my end. I just got out of an abusive relationship and my boyfriend now is just the opposite. He's always joking around with me and does things for me like cook.
When I bring up things that may or may not lead to a small argument/disagreement he's reassured me that he does like me etc, but never used the word love. How can he so easily say "like" when I've been thinking I love him for the past 3 months now? When should I tell him that I love him? He's a very private and kindof shy guy, and it was me to make the first move, but I want to know he loves me too. | Boyfriend may or may not love me. Should I tell it to him or give it more time? |
t3_3ok0y0 | relationships | Am I [18m] making a making a mistake by staying friends with this girl [18f]? | I recently started college and met a girl that I connected really well with. Through the first month of college we had what I would call a 'friends with benefits' type relationship.
At some point Ann and I talked about what we wanted and she told me that she didn't want to commit to anything. The thing is, she recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years just before college. Her thought process was because she wanted to date other people and experience new things. I could respect that decision.
Ann suggested to me that we have an open relationship. I date other people, she dates other people, no commitment. At first I thought this was a good idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be exclusive. I told her that I wanted exclusivity and she told me that she couldn't do that right now. After some back and forth we just decided to stay friends and see where things go in the future. She told me not to wait around for her but that's just a thing that is hard for me. About a week after that she told me that we should just be friends and that there is no chance for us in the future. If it wasn't for what my roommate told me, I would have seen this as the end for us.
This past weekend my roommate told me that he talked to Ann and I came up in their conversation. According to him, Ann wants to date me but she can't because of her feelings for her ex. Normally, I wouldn't think much of this. Of course she'll have those feelings but they'll pass eventually right? The problem here is that her ex goes to the same college as us. A bigger problem is that he lives in the same building to us. He lives on the same floor as her. They hangout at least a few times a week.
So, what should I do about this situation? Her and I have the same best friends so we see each other a lot. I still have strong feelings for her but the fact that she sees her ex a lot and she is very openly flirtatious makes me uncomfortable. Cutting her out of my life isn't out of the question but it would disrupt our friend group. | Met a girl who I instantly connected with. Things were great at first but she couldn't commit to me and her ex still is active in her life. I know how she feels and she knows how I feel but she keeps giving me mixed signals. What should I do with her? |
t3_41l7hu | legaladvice | [Southern CA] Copyright regarding music video I shot | Around Thanksgiving I was hired to spend a week filming a band as they toured with a very well known group to create a music video for one of the songs that they performed live. The agreed upon rate was $500 which was agreed upon verbally without a contract. (it was a a referral from a good friend)
Anyways, I delivered a final cut in December and basically was met with silence from the group's management. Took me awhile to figure out what was going on; but, basically, the group members loved the video however their label did not.
So their label went out and had them re-shoot something with some video guys (without my knowledge) and I finally saw a cut of their new version and it's awful (looks like a corporate music video). But, that's not important, what matters is that their plan is to splice my version into their version.
One of the reasons I agreed to the exceptionally low rate was for the exposure as they're gaining popularity. If they're going to create some Frankenstein mis-matched music video that completely erodes my benefits from the project.
And so, since they had not paid after ≈45 days, I emailed their manager saying that I was not okay with this and wanted to re-negotiate terms as I still own copyright on all of my material, had yet to sign anything, and have not been paid.
I'd like to make them several offers... such as allowing them to pay the original $500 and post my original video without any edits. Another would be for a significant increase in my fees if they are insistent upon combining the two videos together. And perhaps lastly, not agreeing to anything if there not willing to pay an increased amount and withholding copyright from them for violation of the agreement.
So is everything I've proposed all within my legal rights? Any suggestions? I'm not looking to be a difficult person to work with, I just do not like being taken advantage of by people with rampant egos. | Shot music video. Label hasn't paid after close to 2 months and wants to make significant changes for no reason without telling me. I'm not okay with this. Exerting my copyright claims to ensure I don't get screwed. |
t3_q1qjv | AskReddit | I'm in love, but need to shut it down. | Love this girl. Practical, beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing taste, but it's more than all that. Probably sounds painfully cliche. Anyway, she's dating a guy who is currently overseas working. If I had to be honest (and not just hopeful), I'm not sure their relationship continue much longer. I know the guy, however, and would count him as a friend. I think the best scenario is to just shut it down completely, but it's difficult considering she's one of my few friends where I'm currently living. I can't just stop hanging out with her, but that seems like the only option sometimes. | Love a girl. Friends with her boyfriend overseas. Need to shut it down ASAP. Any advice? |
t3_2sroyw | relationships | Is there anything wrong with a relationship with traditional gender roles? (Me: 25F Him:29M, together for 1 yr and living together) | Hello there, and thank you for reading this.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for most of our admittedly short relationship. We hit it off really well and both fell hard, and it turns out we have very similar interests, and similar world views. We can just talk all day and he makes me feel wonderful. I love him, and I have no doubts about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.
But when it comes to work,he is the one earning the money (works from home) and I clean and cook and make him cups of tea and give him massages and occasionally tie his shoes, and I'm very happy in this distribution of roles. One thing to keep in mind here is that he is physically disabled and can't always do household stuff anyway, but that is not the reason I do this.
I am not a stupid woman or a gold digger, I have a university degree and have worked full time before. But I just really enjoy the role of the demure housewife, it has greatly reduced my anxiety attack and hallucinations, I feel like a mentally healthy human being for the first time in a long time. He is never demanding, always loving, and when I feel down he even cooks for us (even if it's just pizza).
The problem I face is the values taught to me from my upbringing. Feminism has done a great deal for women, and my mum was always insistent on me being independent from men and earning my own money. She constantly begs me to get a job and I always have to blame my mental health for not getting one, when in reality I enjoy being a housewife. But it leaves me second guessing myself - am I wasting my intelligence? Am I just lazy? Should I just go and get a job already? I also feel like I'm betraying women everywhere who fight for the right to work. | what I really want to know is: am I allowed to be a housewife in this society or should a relationship only work if I am working, too? |
t3_2elog3 | relationships | Me [17 M] with my crush [17 F] of about 5 years, need advice. | Well to keep things short and simple I met this girl in 7th grade and ever since then I've basically fallen in love with her. We've talked almost everyday since and are extremely close. We've gotten real close to each other and actually almost dated a few times but it we never did. She still knows i really like her and i don't know if she "likes" me still. We've hungout, just the two of us, recently and it went well and all she had fun and said she'd like to do it again.
She knows more about me than anybody else and we're always there for eachother but sometimes there will be a period when she doesn't answer me and i feel like she doesnt like me at all. Like I'll ask her if anythings wrong and i wont get an answer. This is happening as I type this and i dont know why. I have a habit of thinking that I did something wrong to make her mad or upset but i will never know because when we start talking again I never bring it up.
All I really want is to be with her and for her to be happy, but it's times like this where I get really down on myself and think that she hates me. | What are your opinions on my situation?/What should I do? |
t3_1tgs3h | relationships | How do you identify good potential friends? | Season's greetings everyone; I hope you are all well.
I'm (26/F) getting over a break up with someone I really loved and one of the things I've taken from it is that I want a stronger group of friends around me. I've only been in my current city for nine months, so I'm not beating myself up too much, but I've made mistakes with friends in the past and am not sure how to identify people who will be good friends. I have no trouble meeting people, but translating that into lasting friendships? So tricky.
My personal issues to overcome are 1) I'm typically not good at making friends with other women. I'm not sure why. I think I'm scared they'll reject me or we won't have anything in common. I'm trying to work on this. The second problem is 2) many people I thought were awesome friends ended up having romantic designs and weren't really the strong friends I thought they were. The final issue I've had is 3) when I find someone I really click with, I'll do all I can do be a good friend to that person, and I've often found that when push comes to shove they don't reciprocate.
I'm really curious what personal green flags and red flags do you guys have for potential new friends? How do you identify someone who'll be good to have in your life? What should I be on the look out for on my friend quest? | Trying to make new and better friendships. What green flags should I look out for and what red flags should I avoid like the plague? |
t3_33fjjy | relationships | Me [25F] with my long distance boyfriend [26M] of 1.5 yrs, can't get over a small comment | Overall, I'm very happy with my relationship. We're planning to close the gap later this year. Neither of us are jealous people. I don't care who he hangs out with or goes drinking with (it's mostly women, bc of the nature of his program) because I trust him. About twice a year he'll visit a strip club with some guys and it honestly doesn't bother me at all. I am generally not an insecure person so I'm usually not jealous of other women.
I think he recently overestimated how not-jealous I am though. We were getting drunk with one of his guy friends and he mentioned this hot thing another girl did with him a few years ago. Of course, I have had super fun sexytimes with other people too, I know we both have, and that knowledge doesn't bother me, because our current sex life is great. But to hear him speak enthusiastically about someone else like that bothered me.
I told him it upset me and he apologized and acknowledged that he fucked up. But I still can't get over it. I'm not sure why I can't, or how I can move on. Any advice? | BF made comment about past hot experience with someone else, apologized, but I still feel miffed. |
t3_1w6yjf | Dogtraining | Dog whines when I am working in the garage. (Unique situation — not separation anxiety!) | My 8-year-old female mutt hates when my husband and I are working in our garage. We leave her inside the house, and she just sits by the door and whines. However, she is FINE when we leave the house, and she's alright being in a different room of the house than we are. She does not exhibit other signs of separation anxiety — she just can't stand it when we're in the garage!
Here's what happens: On the weekends, we'll have some projects to do in the garage, so I'll take her on a long walk in the morning and then feed her. We'll leave her inside the house and go into the garage. Once one or both of us is in the garage, she sits by the door that connects the garage to the house, and whines like crazy. She can hear us in the garage, but can't get to us, and I think that stresses her out.
If one of us is inside the house with her, but the other person is in the garage, she still whines.
We've tried letting her just hang out in the garage with us, but long story short, it's just not always safe for her. There are dangerous chemicals, flying sawdust from power tools, and other things that could harm her.
This dog is a spayed lab mix and she gets plenty of exercise (1 to 1.5 hours of walking a day), so we've already "tired her out." Is there anything we can do to stop the whining? What is it about the garage that really freaks her out? | Dog whines a lot when we leave her in the house to work on projects in our garage. She is fine being alone in all other situations, so I don't think this is separation anxiety. She gets plenty of exercise. What can I do to calm her down? |
t3_20n7bv | personalfinance | I need to transport numismatic coins and gold bullion across the country, what are my options? | This is one part of a whole long series of having money moved into my control. I'll probably be posting periodically to ask for advice and I've already started poking through some of the suggested subreddits.
Basically: I am being given control of a trust in my name this upcoming Friday. As a note I thought I was going to be given this control in a year from now, so I'm more rushed than I have intended on being when this happens.
My parents who have control of the trust currently are sending me a list of the bullion and coins they have in a safe currently. It's not an option to keep it there due to my lack of trust in them. I am willing to spend the money necessary to transport it over, but I understand that I will need to insure it and this might be a whole process.
I'd like to get it sent over as quickly as possible but don't want to make any egregious errors.
As a side note, there are SO MANY crazy gold websites that keep getting suggested to me when searching for information on google. | I have a large amount of numismatic coins and bullion that need to be moved across the country quickly but correctly. What do I do? |
t3_z70q5 | relationships | Friends With Benefits (F18-M18) | I've been "seeing" a guy for a little over a year now. By seeing, I mean fooling around with. All of my friends (and pretty much everyone I know) hates him but for some reason I'm in love with him. I can't let him go. Every time we get together, I hope that something will have changed and he will want to pursue a relationship with me....but it doesn't. Being the girl that I am, I get weepy and upset with him for not wanting more than what we have. He never makes me feel used, though. We get along great, have the same interests, sense of humor, etc. We'd be an amazing couple. Sometimes afterwards we'll snuggle and he'll say really really sweet things to me. He insists that he does care about me and he will get really jealous over small things. So, Reddit....I can't decide what to do. Why won't he pursue a relationship with me? I'm an attractive young college girl with an amazing bright future. If I'm gonna be totally honest, he really can't do much better than me.
And here's my biggest concern. I *know* that he's awful for me, physically and emotionally. I want to be able to leave him, but I don't know how. He's the only person I've ever been this close to, and when I try to leave I am almost crushed by loneliness. | How can I deal with the heart-wrenching effects of a FWB relationship? |
t3_118f0j | relationships | Help with explaining flippant remarks of the Facebook generation to my (f26) annoyed parents (m83 and f61)?! | I accidentally unchecked my custom list on Facebook, and made a post that has hurt my parents feelings.
They've been supporting me while I study, and recently got me early Xmas present tickets to a band I've loved forever, because I couldn't afford it.
There's a whole heap of events coming up, and I flippantly posted 'someone buy me these tickets because I'm a giant hipster and I'm poor'.
I've deleted it at their request, and I understand it was quite spoilt/entitled/insensitive of me. I really appreciate their financial help and often get really guilty about it.
They seem to think that everyone who read it will take it literally, and that it's saying that they don't support or care about me in any way.
I think this is a misinterpretation - anyone who reads it (people my age) will know it just means 'don't have the cash flow this week'.
Have I just been an outright dick, and is there anyway I can soothe my parents' feelings? And just explain Facebook to them I guess. | I'm a lucky and spoilt grownup child, and have hurt my parent feelings unintentionally through goddamn social media. Any ideas? |
t3_270dvb | relationships | I(17 m) really want to ask this girl(17 F) out, but she has a thing for another guy(17m). Please help me | So about 2 months ago, I met this girl, Mary in my Biology class. We quickly hit if off and became really good friends. We have so many similar qualities, likes and beliefs. After a few weeks I started to like her and wanted to ask her out, but we both had a lot of AP testing along with work, so we had no time.
Right after AP testing though, she went to a movie with another guy, and then she kept referring to him as a friend whenever I talked to her. I don't know what to think of that because some mutual friends of the guy and i say that they have a "thing".
Its now the last week of school and really the only outside contact I have of her is Facebook. I would love to ask her out but, I want to make sure its a yes before I do.
See I have a huge problem with confidence because I'm that guy that girls continually see as a friend or reject completely. I have never ever had a girlfriend. I work out and in great shape. I always compliment every girl I talk to. One of my flaws is that I'm socially awkward. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm so sick of getting rejected that I want to make sure this one is a yes before I ask. | I like this girl but she may have a thing for another guy, and my confidence is so low that I want to make sure this is a yes before I ask. Please help me |
t3_1swmid | relationships | Me [20M] and a girl [19F] I've just met, but I'm unsure about it. | This is my first post on relationships so excuse anything against the rules.
So here's the story. Last month I got on well with a girl, one of my friend's mates, at a uni party, we kept in touch and my friend said that she took a bit of a liking to me. In the meantime I had developed a small degree of feelings towards one of my housemates. Last week however, I got together with this girl, nothing too serious but it confirmed my friend's suspicions that she likes me, so we went out for a drink, chatted a bit, and got on really well. Over the past few days I've met with this girl a couple more times and I finally decided to ask if this is going anywhere serious, to which she replied "Well we're not really going out, we're more 'seeing each other'". I asked my friends what this means and apparently it's more of a casual thing that we've got going. Not that she'll go sleeping around but that it's not anything too serious at the moment, but there's definitely the chance that it'll develop into that.
In the meantime the one I have feelings for has gone home for christmas, so I have a few weeks to decide on what to do. I'd love to ask her out, but I'm stuck as to what to do with the first one. I like her, but I'd be happier with the housemate. If it backfires I'm left with neither. What would be the best course of action to take on this?
Again, excuse me if I've left out any information or stuff like that, I'd appreciate any advice on the matter and if anyone needs more info I'll do my best to provide.
Thanks :-) | Confused between "Seeing someone" and "Going out with someone", trying to decide between asking out a girl I like or "seeing" one I've just met. |
t3_2gzmuc | relationships | Me [18F] with my boyfriend [18M]. how do i tell my parents im back together with my ex? | so let me begin by explaining that i have been dating my ex again for a month now. however we dated for 2 years before this and took a year off due to personal issues. now, he has changed his ways and is trying to do something in his life.
but, now i don't know how to explain to my parents that the guy i dated before is actually really different now. and besides the only reasons they have a dislike towards him is because of my foolish mistakes in high school. so what should i say or in better yet how should i tell them to give him another chance? Reddit please help | how do i tell my parents im back together with my ex? |
t3_1vjkdd | relationships | I'm cautious about my (29M) new girlfriend (26F) becoming friends with my friends too quickly. | I (29M) have been dating someone (26F) for a couple months and the relationship is going very well. In these past two months we've already met all of each other's friends. She has gone on a weekend trip with me and all of my friends, as well as to a wedding and a couple other social events.
I found out a few days ago that one of my female friends (Stacy) had invited my girlfriend (Anne) to some sort of girls' brunch with her and a few of my other female friends. Anne declined because she has plans for whatever day it is supposed to be, but it kind of bothered me that Stacy invited her.
My communication with Anne is very open. When Anne mentioned the invitation to me, I explained to her that even though our relationship is going really well so far, it would kind of freak me out if she started hanging out with my friends because if our relationship ends up NOT working out, it turns into a tangled mess if she becomes part of the friend group.
Her hanging out with my friends without me (essentially making my friends her friends) is a concept I need to warm up to a bit, and I think it's a little soon for it. I wouldn't go calling Anne's male friends to hang out with them without asking her first, or without her knowing, and if one of them invited me to something, I would definitely ask Anne first if she was comfortable with it. Anne seemed to understand where I was coming from when we discussed it.
My questions are:
- Is it reasonable to want to have some control over the relationship between my friends and my girlfriend before I'm sufficiently satisfied that my relationship with my girlfriend is "strong enough" to last?
- Did Stacy step out of line by not asking me first if it was okay to invite Anne?
On one hand, I of course can't tell anyone what to do, but on the other hand I think it's reasonable to expect that my friends and my girlfriend respect my wishes as far as what I'm comfortable with when I'm getting involved in a new relationship. | I have a new girlfriend, and my female friends are inviting her out without me and I'm not comfortable with that just yet. Reasonable? |
t3_1uf7fx | relationships | I (F19) just broke up with my controlling mentally abusive (22) Boyfriend. Lonely. | It wasn't all bad honestly. We were together for 4 years, he didn't become controlling or emotionally abusive until 2 years in. He knows my real account so I had to make this throwaway. He was threatening me two nights ago because I didn't do something I said I would. He told me he'd kill me and himself.
That kind of thing, so I completely cut ties with him. Blocked him on facebook, not talking to him blah blah blah. He's still texting me things such as "Please talk to me. I'm sorry. I love you." The typical I'm trying to control you by promising I'll change, when I never will thing. And I know that, but it's lonely now. My best friend and family are company now, but what about when they're not around? I don't even know how or if I want to date soon or what. I'm just lonely now. I talked to him every day for 4 years its a huge sudden change. I know it will eventually get better.
His begging will eventually stop I hope, because its pathetic and makes me sad, I want him to be happy even if he's a dick. So Reddit any suggestions for what I could do? :/ | broke up with my controlling boyfriend, kind of lonely don't know where to go from here. |
t3_l00gl | AskReddit | How can I get rid of bad friends? | I am a 23 year old female. I have known most of my friends for a very long time (since middle school). Nowadays all they do when they get together is literally sit on the floor and say awful things about other people. I used to gossip right along with them but it got me into some tight spots and I realized I'm really not into the drama. I'm trying to better myself and focus my time and energy on new hobbies and activities. I have explained to them that I don't want to contribute to their gossip, but they don't seem to want to stop. I don't want to preach at them about how gossip is bad so whenever I'm with them I just sit in silence. We also don't really have any of the same interests. I like to browse the internet and read and do outdoorsy stuff and they like to party and go to clubs. So, in short, my friends and I have drifted apart. However, they don't seem to recognize this and are sort of clingy. I have started making new friends that have similar interests but I feel like my time is divided between these people that I want to spend time with and my old friends who(m?) I feel an obligation to.
My real problem is that I feel uncomfortable saying no to people. I don't like to make people mad or to hurt their feelings. I find myself saying yes to hanging out with people when it is really the last thing I want to do. So, my question is, how can I learn to do this without feeling so queasy about it? How can I slowly drop my old friends? I hope I'm not coming off as selfish or conceited or anything, I am just genuinely looking for advice. Thanks for your time. | I have a hard time saying no to people I don't like. How can I learn to say no to them in order to stop being friends with them? |
t3_22mtvh | relationships | Me [23 M] looking for guidance/help | This is going to be a lengthy post, so I apologize in advance. If it's not an appropriate question, please let me know and I'll remove it. Also, thank you in advance for any guidance, insight, or direction you can offer.
I started reading Reddit about a year ago after I got out of a two year relationship. I took that break up really hard, and it sucked moving out when we made a home together, but I knew that we were not a good fit. Reddit helped me rebuild myself into a better, more confident man as I reentered the dating world. After a handful of dates, I started a relationship again about six months ago. Now that relationship has ended and I'm taking it pretty hard.
I'm just afraid I'm bad at meeting women. I don't really like to go out to bars or clubs much, and I don't know where else to meet interesting women who I might be interested in, and whom will be interested in me. I'm genuinely afraid of being alone forever at this point (as illogical as that is for anyone to fear).
A little about me: I am 23. I suffer from some depression/anxiety that has gotten worse over the years and got severe after the most recent break up. I am currently in therapy getting it treated and seeing about medication next week. I am in a clinical psychology Ph.D. program. I think I'm average looking. I try to be well dressed. I ride motorcycle, cook, into classic film/literature, hit the gym ~5 days a week, bicycle, and I'm starting fencing.
I guess what I'm wondering is, where can I meet women with my busy schedule? How can I make myself more confident and attractive? I'm just feeling a bit lost and worried and I'm looking for any guidance. | multiple break ups messed me up, wondering if where and how to meet women again, feeling lonely and lost, looking for guidance/input into how to rebuild myself again |
t3_37to9d | Parenting | Is it better to have both parents living together? | Background:
My ex of 1 and a half years extended an offer to move back in (whilst still remaining separated) for the sake of our (2 year old) son last night. I want this very much.
I am on new medication, and one of the side effects is fatigue. Knowing this, I took the medication last night in preparation. I was so excited at the prospect that I couldn't sleep, I was up for hours, even with the medicine. Unfortunately this morning I was still extremely tired, and kept falling asleep during my coffee, so I made the choice to cancel my scheduled visit so I could sleep.
It was a selfish act, but I feel it was the safer option when my son is involved. The last thing I want is to fall asleep when I am supposed to be looking after him. I did explain this to her, but instead of blaming it, I took responsibility for my actions.
Of course, she was angry about this, and has cancelled her offer, and now refuses to discuss it with me.
I get to see him 2 days every 2 weeks, and have for the most part been consistent with my visits. I don't drive, and have occasionally had issues with public transport, making me late to some of my scheduled visits. She has taken this into account and used it as justification for her decision. For the time we have been apart I have asked to see him more, and done everything I can to see him when possible. She, for the most part, has refused all my requests. I have to travel 2-3 hours each way to visit him, and it is not always easy.
I am looking for advice on how to approach this with her (I will x-post this to /r/relationship_advice for more advice on this aspect).
Most studies I have read on the matter point to the argument that it is better to have both parents. As a child of a single mother, I personally feel that having both parents living together, whether in a relationship or not, is better for a child than the current situation we have. | Is it better to have both parents living together? |
t3_1frztv | jobs | Retail job(s) dilemma: Stay and wait for bor leave for less pay | Currently, I work at a Goodwill Store - 30 to 35 hours per week. I receive donations and sort them into different categories. My workplace is somewhat hazardous. It's a little dusty in the production room. Sometimes, I need to climb over a half-wall to grab a wood palette and bulk box, and walk along the wall, lifting each over my head to avoid the scratching/breaking the sold furniture. My wrists hurt from carrying and throwing bags and boxes of stuff over my head into piles, in order to keep our pathways clear. My lower back is slightly sore. I have a wicked watch tan, even though I wear sunblock. So, you can imagine that the job is taking a toll on my health.
I get along with all my co-workers, including my manager. But I'm somewhat stuck as a donation attendant here because 1) we're short-handed in donations, 2) I'm a young(er) male who can lift heavy stuff, and 3) only cashiers (off the record) have been promoted to 3rd key holder.
I'm interviewing for a position at Target. If I get the job, they want me for the weekends, which I have no problem with, but they only offer 20 to 25 hours. So I may need to have my hours reduced at the Goodwill, or quit the Goodwill altogether - possibly severing my rapport with everyone at the Goodwill since we're already short-handed. Even if I stay with hours reduced, I can forget about any promotion.
Do I take the 20-25 hour job at Target, and risk losing (quitting) my current job. Or do I wait for a better retail opportunity? Thanks in advance.
Side-note: During my time off, I'm studying/coding for front-end web development. The better I get at this, the sooner I can/hope to leave retail. | I dislike my current job at the Goodwill, but I need the money. Thinking about splitting my time between there and Target. I might need to quit the Goodwill altogether, but Target only offers 20 to 25 hours. |
t3_2wkqfx | relationships | Boyfriend [19 M] thinks he's not good enough for me [20 F] because he's short. | So, I've been with this guy for two months and before that we were best friends for six months.
Everything in our relationship is great but I just found out yesterday that my boyfriend is really self aware of his height and it affects him a lot to the point that he thinks I'm going to end up breaking up with him because he remembers during our friendship I mentioned I liked tall guys and that stuck with him since then.
Now, I'm not exactly tall myself, I'm 155 cm and he is 169 cm and yes, I usually go for taller guys but I don't mind his height. He is still very good looking, he has a fit body, his funny, his charming, his intelligent and very interesting and fun to be with.
I explained that to him but he still feels like crap and he told me is an insecurity that always affected him.
My question is, will he still grow? His father is 180 cm and his mother is 150 cm. I read somewhere that men tend to grow until 21. He goes to the gym weekly, he is very active in general and eats healthy. Has anyone gone through the same as him? Will he grow? Again, I'm asking this for him and not for me, I don't mind him being short. | Boyfriend is short (I don't mind him being short) and feels like shit but has tall dad and really good and healthy habits, will he ever grow? |
t3_2y6pec | relationships | My ex[22M] and I [23F] - how am I supposed to handle this "time apart"? | I was dating a man for almost two years, and we lived together for over a year of it. The last several months of our relationship, he was always upset or quiet and never wanted to talk to me about what was bothering him. I asked several times if anything between us was the problem, and every time, he insisted that he was just stressed about work.
One night, about 3 weeks ago, he told me that he'd been feeling unhappy for those past several months. I had to pack my things and leave on 6 hours' notice (his name is on the lease). Our plan was to take a "break" for two weeks, then talk about everything.
He broke the break first, inviting me over for lunch after 3 days. That interaction went fine, but every subsequent meeting has just ended in a fight.
He's been under a lot of stress and needs space, which I may not have respected immediately but have come to understand and respect. There were things about living with me that he was not happy with, and that is completely fair. I struggled with depression for years and still suffer some residual habits and bad days.
What I don't understand is his mixed messages. He tells me he loves me every time we talk, but he never wants to see me, and if I say anything sweet to him he responds with "what am I supposed to reply to that with" and shuts me down.
He says he wants to work this out eventually, and I do too. I'm not sure I have faith in him, though. If he lied to me for months about our relationship, what is his word worth anymore? I feel stuck in limbo and I don't know how to look at our relationship anymore. | Boyfriend lied to me about our relationship for months, then kicked me out on 6 hours' notice. We broke up and both claim to want to work things out in the long run, but I don't know how to trust him. |
t3_erui3 | AskReddit | Need advice: My upstairs neighbor is verbally abusive towards his mother. (xposted in /r/montreal) | The elderly woman living upstairs my parents', I've heard her son yell at her numerous times, so loudly that I can sometimes hear him clearly shout "shut up" more than once and for her to stop bothering him. They're violent screams. Sometimes I even hear thumps, objects dropping and furniture being moved around.
I'm often at my parents and I hear him almost every time. It happened again a few nights ago, and once more, I froze. I felt like a coward for not doing anything at the moment and once the noise stopped.
I don't know how to handle this, I want to report it without causing further trouble for her... as in... if ever cops came to investigate and left, I'd be afraid of her son being even more abusive towards her if he thinks she's the one who called the authorities on him. I also don't want my parents to encounter any problems if he figures out we're the neighbors who did this.
What do I do?
She has been living upstairs way before my parents and I moved in when I was a kid. It's always been her and her son. I've never had any real contacts with her except waving to each other when she's looking out her window. We did that for years, every day when I came back from school, she was there. Then I grew up, started working full-time, got a life and would come home very late.
Just tonight, I went over to have dinner with my parents, I saw her walking to the window and looking out for the first time in years... I waved at her, but she didn't do anything. Either she didn't see me or doesn't recognize me anymore. This made me a bit sad. | Son screams at his elderly mother so often that my parents and I are scared for her. What do I do without any backlash against her and my parents as neighbors? |
t3_2ab34g | relationships | My recently terminated sister [26 F] is forcing me [21 F] to write a bad review for her former job. She's threatening our relationship over it. Should I do it? | My sister was recently fired from her job, and she wants me to write a bad review for the company. I've heard stories from her that the company was bad, and they were doing some questionable things in the corporate section of the business, but not much else.
I didn't know she was fired and she wants to keep it a secret from our family and friends. She also lives across the country, so I don't get to see her often and have very few updates on her life.
She sent me a few text messages wanting me to use my personal Facebook account to write the review on their Facebook page. I told her that I wasn't sure if I was comfortable doing that since it's not anonymous, it clearly says on the page that my sister was just fired (and we have the same last name and we're listed as sisters on Facebook), I know nothing about the company, and I don't know why she was fired (and she refuses to tell me).
I told her that I needed a moment to think about it, and she is really pressuring me into posting the review immediately. I told her that I needed a day to think about it, and I'd be happy to help her through this hard time in other ways, and she started calling me names and telling me that I don't care about family.
She's still calling me names, and I fear that if I don't write this review then I'll have to stop talking with her since she's just getting meaner and meaner with her insults.
This conversation was entirely over text message, so I can post screenshots of that if needed (there's like 15 screenshots).
***Do I post the review? I told her to back off and that's only making her angrier. | Sister got fired, wants me to use my Facebook page to write a bad review for the company. I wanted a moment to think about it (I know nothing about why she was fired or about the company itself), and she's threatening our relationship if I don't post. |
t3_3on8o9 | relationships | My coworker [23F] matched me [22M] on Tinder the other day. Is she just messing with me or does she want to get to know me for real? | So where I work, the coworkers create general small talk during breaks and nothing too much. If anything, the older guys probably get together on weekends. I'm not sure. But at this facility that takes care of animals, it's mainly employees above 40. There are a couple of younger ones around my age. Anyways...
There's this girl I never spoke too much to. It was just the "hey how was your weekend?" kind of chit-chat that was meant to be forgotten. One day, I'm swiping right on Tinder and suddenly I get a match. It's the coworker. Normally, I'd get excited, but here's where I don't know what's happening.
My profile picture on Tinder (and Facebook) is actually a picture I took of myself while at work. There's nothing compromising, but we generally aren't supposed to take pictures at work. I'm not sure if my coworker is trolling me or if she matched because she actually wanted to get to know me better. Or keep me matched long enough to take screenshots (which I doubt since she's super chill).
So what do you think her intentions are?? | Coworker I don't talk to matches me on Tinder. Is she trolling or for real? |
t3_t6749 | BreakUps | He broke up with me, so why does he want to stay friends? | I'm 31, he's 32.
My boyfriend of 2 (very serious) years broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, but he's made it clear to me that he wants to remain in my life as friends. He actually told me I'm his "best friend" and also the best girlfriend he's ever had.
Personally, I'd rather work on our relationship, but he says that's not possible. I did ask him if he has specific reasons for the break-up-- he does, but I'm not ready to hear them yet (if ever). For me and everyone else who knows us, this break-up is a complete shock.
Another thing: during the first week of his dumping me, I did tell him that I would try to be friends, but that I needed ground rules-- mainly he couldn't fool around with any other chicks for at least six months, and that he needed to be patient. He easily agreed. (I can say I'm 100% confident that he's not cheated on me, or leaving me for someone else. I DO suspect that he is depressed about other life issues of his-- if you need more details, let me know and I'll answer.)
I will be seeing him this Saturday (I'm going with his best male friend to pick up my couch-- we didn't live together but did live in the same apt building for a time), and I've told him that while I'm okay with seeing him socially that day, I need no contact with him until at least June. His best male friend (BMF?) has already told me that he plans to have a very serious talk with the ex about what's going on, as he thinks the ex is making the biggest mistake of his life in breaking up with me. I've also heard this comment, unsolicited, from 2 other mutual friends.
Even more | he told me he found some journals/letters of mine that I had thrown in the trash when I first went to his place to pick up my stuff, and he's keeping it, because "it's too good to throw away." Mixed signals like whoa over here. |
t3_3hbqet | relationships | Girlfriend of five months [18F] broke up with me because I [17M] had said maybe she isn't the right person for me | So I've been dealing with depression and insecurity and I had felt a little unloved from her just because she didn't have a whole lot of time to see me. Without realizing what I said, I told her maybe she isn't the one for me because tbh I wanted her to fight for me. Selfish, stupid, I know but I've learned my lesson no more cries for attention.
So she decided that it was best for us to break up, as she doesn't want to wait around for me to hurt her again by me saying that. Nor does she want to be with me as she feels she'd be really unhappy just thinking about what I said and all that. I've apologized profusely, and she forgives me and stuff but doesn't think it's best that we date.
And to make matters worse she's moving off to be a freshman in college in about a week. We were ready to do long distance, but now that she's single I'm afraid of her moving on, hooking up with someone, etc. I would give her some space, and I'm trying my best to but I feel like time is running out for us and that scares me, and I'm afraid of her falling for someone else right after. | I expressed doubts of the relationship without realizing what I said, but I absolutely didn't mean it. She broke up with me because of what I said and I need to convince her that she can be happy with me and I'm not going to feel that way ever. Also she's moving in a week, and I don't want to lose her to someone else |
t3_16fck0 | pettyrevenge | Loud noises make for great revenge | I use to work at a Kroger Fuel Center a couple years ago. As fuel jockey, I had to deal with a lot in terms of passive aggressiveness from some of my coworkers. Ashley, the passive aggressive coworker, has a certain persniggety way of working in the fuel center. Don't have the cigarettes in a perfectly symmetrical line? Cue thirty minute bitchfest about how to do the cigarettes, "correctly" and a three paragraph note about how to do it. You get the picture I hope. Well, Ashley and I ended up not getting along at all; so after receiving one bitchout too many I decided to act petty and vengeful. Ashley was one of those people who constantly complained about being sleepy and how she hated mornings. In our fuel center we had an alarm clock and I saw that she had a morning shift one day after a particularly bitchy episode. Our morning shifts start at 5:45 AM and so I set the alarm for 6:00 AM to the loudest volume and the most static filled channel. Her face as I came in on the subsequent shift after made my whole day! | bitchy coworker who hates morning shift gets a loud "wake up call" to ensure she has a great rest of the day. |
t3_4wd7qi | relationships | I {17M] am currently on holiday with my crush [16F] and i dont know how to approach her, can you help? | Hi Guys,
Pretty much im on a family holiday with my family and another family (family friends for years) anyway ive liked this girl for like forever... and everytime we go on holiday and spend so much time with them i like her even more..
Shes like constantly staring at me, i always catch her. And i also glance at her a lot too and i know she catches me to, ugh this sounds so cheesy.
My sister in the past has told me that the girl likes me too butive never acted on it. This time (weve been away for a week, with another week left) i feel like im ready) So im just wondering how you guys think i should approach her or let her know i really like her without speaking to her directly.
(I cant speak to her directly because we are NEVER alone :( ) | How can i let my crush know i like her without speaking to her directly? |
t3_35gy9q | relationships | My boyfriend [M19] was diagnosed with ASPD (psychopath). Do you think he could love me [F19]? | We've been going out for 2 years and we live together. The whole time I've known him, he's been very antisocial. He always stays home, never goes out. Lately he's been getting a lot of headaches. The doctor suggested he see a psychologist. After 7 sessions the psych finally managed to diagnose him and now he's being referred to someone who deals with personality disorders.
One time at a party a guy bumped into him and made some condescending comment, my bf just walked away, but he was literally twitching in anger the whole night. Often when we go on dates, he'll just come up with some random persona out of nowhere and literally act like that all night. He'll stop if I ask him to but he seems to enjoy pretending to be someone else. I thought it was just him having fun. I guess it still is, but it just seems so much more nefarious now. These things occurred to me after he told me his diagnosis.
I didn't know what it was when he told me. But we researched it together and he said that most of the symptoms seemed right. He said he used to get into trouble a lot, but he learned how to control his anger and "read people." He said he realized he was different early on and learned how to adapt. I have a problem with it because people with ASPD supposedly can't get close to anyone. He agreed and said that he can't get close to anyone, but I'm the exception, that he loves me. I'm not sure what to do. I want to believe that he loves me. I know that he's the same guy as he's always been, but honestly I'm a little scared of him now. I think it's a good sign that he told me what it is because people with ASPD are supposed to have trust issues, but he trusted me with this. I know that he doesn't trust anyone else though. Aggghhhhh. I need some advice. | My boyfriend [M19] was diagnosed with ASPD (psychopath). Do you think he could love me [F19]? |
t3_3b13gs | relationships | Me [25 F] feels like guys only want me for sex | OK, so this is my first post ever so bear with me...
I am asking for advice on how as a women you can portray yourself
differently so that men don't see you only as a sex object.
I have always felt like a highly sexual person and find myself the
type of person who falls for a particular person quickly and hard. It's
not necessarily based on a sexual connection on my part, but more
of a chemistry that I feel with these people, and it's very few,
selective people. I find a lot more guys that I feel nothing for fall
hard for me. I am at a point in my life where I want a relationship
with passion and chemistry, and hopefully find the person I fall in
love with and marry. I feel like guys only want me for a sexual
relationship and I cannot for the life of me understand why it seems
that's all they want. I am a very committed woman, and think I bring
a lot to a relationship, I have a big heart and care a lot about the
people in my life. I'm confident, ambitious and I think sometimes I
don't let the guy take the lead, but heck that shouldn't be a deal
breaker in my opinion. The last relationship I was in was for 3 years
and the person I was with never wanted sex, and never actually
loved me or told me he did. It was a very, very, very strange
relationship so I think I feel like for 3+ years I've not been loved
very much. I also sort of have a fear of being alone, but equally a
fear of ending up divorced. My parents never had a good
relationship and all I want is to live a simple life, with a
fucking white picket fence, some horses, on a lake, and of course
with a man I love and loves me back unconditionally... | My questions is...what do I need to do differently to be taken seriously to find a relationship that balances love and sex?? |
t3_4krd6g | personalfinance | Buying a bookstore? What do I ask? | My wife is friends with a woman who has owned a bookstore for 18 years ( it's been in business for 41 years) This woman is retiring and asked her if she wants to purchase the business. I'm concerned about the long-term viability of the bookstore although I've read several articles recently about a resurgence in paper book sales. A someone who has never owned a business, what information do I need to know, what questions should I ask to determine if this is a good investment. What kind of ROI should I aim for in the short term and long term? Any advice would be appreciated. | Have a chance to invest in a small business. What do I need to know or ask going in so I can make the right choice? |
t3_4kziw5 | relationships | My girlfriend [25F] of two years asked me [30M] to pretend we're just friends at our graduation so that her religious parents don't get upset. | I just graduated with my girlfriend from our graduate school, we have been together for two years and chose to go to the same post-graduate program so that we could stay together. The problem is that her parents are religious and likely won't approve of her dating me, she is worried that they may disown her. She is waiting until she has an income before she tells them.
She has met my entire family and has spent several weeks staying at my parents house, but she asked me to pretend we are not together and she asked my parents to not acknowledge that she stayed with them if we met her parents at graduation.
I was upset by this and I avoided her at graduation because I didn't want to put myself or my family in a position where we have to lie to her parents too. My brother said he would "spill the beans" to her parents if he met them so I didn't want that either. Now we are in a big fight because we didn't get to spend graduation together and don't have any pictures together because I choose to keep my distance and left early.
I feel like an asshole for how upset I made her, but at the same time I feel that pretending to be just a friend when I meet her parents, after 2 years of being together, would be very disingenuous. Eventually I want to tell her parents that we have been together for a few years, I don't want to deny the last two years of our relationship and pretend we are just starting to see each other.
Am I being unreasonable? What would you do? | I chose to avoid my girlfriend of two years at our graduation rather than meet her parents and pretend to be just a friend, am I a shitty boyfriend for not being supportive? |
Subsets and Splits