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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, well, it almost killed me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If it wanted to kill you, you’d be dead." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So, who exactly does it want to kill?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, are you unaware of the upcoming Southern California Robot Fighting League Round Robin Invitational?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think there’s anything in this jewellery store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh, a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I don’t think Amy wants a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh, a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I don’t think Amy wants a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Still saying stupid stuff. Ooh, does she like bracelets?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, she’s very fond of her silver one that says allergic to penicillin. Maybe they have a dressier version of that?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Who is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "May I come in?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see you’re drinking wine." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy, it’s Penny’s turn. Penny?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, I don’t know. Are you food?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s not apropos. We’ve already established I’m found in the periodic table." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, it’s a table, right? I mean, why can’t there be food on it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I knew she wasn’t lead car material." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Who elected you Road Trip God?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Really? Want to go to Hawaii?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Ladies? (Knock, knock, knock) Ladies? (Knock, knock, knock) Ladies?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ladies." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What’s up?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, as you may know, I’ve been experimenting with elevated anxiety levels, and I thought, what better way to increase my discomfort than to subject myself to an evening of tasteless uncensored crotch talk?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Whatcha doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image so as to engage the superior colliculus of my brain." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Interesting. I usually just have coffee. You’ve been up all night?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is it morning?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then I’ve been up all night." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And you’re stuck?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why else would a person try to engage their superior colliculus?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just tell Kripke the truth?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because the truth made me look bad, whereas a ridiculous bald-faced lie makes me look good. Anyway, if Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense and whimsically inventive." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What’s wrong?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing. I was acting." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You were acting?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. In preparation for today’s studies, I read Stanislavski’s An Actor Prepares, Stella Adler’s" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, good for you. Come on in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How shall we begin?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I thought we’d start with some basic movement exercises. You know, get our bodies warmed up a little." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, that’s fine, but let’s try and get you out of your comfort zone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would we want to do that? It’s called the comfort zone for a reason." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little, so I’m thinking you’ll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. You’ll be Spock?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s only logical." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well. I’ll set the scene." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. You’ll be Spock?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s only logical." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well. I’ll set the scene." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "East Texas. A warm summer night. A woman, Mary, stands on a porch. In the distance, we hear a lonesome train whistle. Woo-woo. The droning buzz of cicadas. Zzzzzzzzz. A coyote howls at the moon, frightening sensitive young boys everywhere. Aw-aw-aw! Out in the woods, an owl screeches." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, okay. We get it. You set the scene." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hoo!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, okay. We get it. You set the scene." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hoo!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now just read your mother’s line." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shelly! Shelly, how many times have I told you not to leave your sciencey stuff out on the porch? Goodness, I’ll never understand that boy. But then again, I’m a religious nut, and my mind is closed to so many things." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I understand. Oh, Shelly? A man’s here to take you away to the future! Be sure to pack clean underwear.”" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, okay, let’s try that last line again, and this time, maybe try choking up a little." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, you’re losing your son." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but he’s going to a better place where he won’t get beat up. So much." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Here’s your soup." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Chicken?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "With the little stars?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Heated to 180 degrees?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t I pour it in your lap, and you can tell me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t have to be mean. I’m sick." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, well, I’m sick, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not my problem. I just don’t understand how this happened to me. I’m scrupulous about my hygiene. I regularly disinfect my hands, and I avoid contact with other people on general principle." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, give me that. Just out of curiosity, if I were to let something go, how would I do that?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, just think about something else." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can I think about the spiny anteater?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The spiny anteater never went behind my back and worked with Barry Kripke. That didn’t help at all." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, some people try visualization." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How does that work?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, imagine your problems are a pen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now imagine you’re holding that pen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, that’s so silly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s actually based on very sound theories, his mother published a paper on it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What was it called, “I hate my son and that’s why he can’t have cake?”" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was obviously effective, Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she’d also denied him Christmas he’d be a little better at it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, it isn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, it is." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, it isn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, I have an eidetic memory. Also, that’s a picture of you in the passenger seat holding your dislocated shoulder." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Mmm, no, it isn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, then why is a summons for a traffic violation committed in your car, bearing your license plates, coming to me?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, look, they sent me the ticket. I told them I wasn’t driving and they were all, if it wasn’t you, who was it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you betrayed me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, look, they sent me the ticket. I told them I wasn’t driving and they were all, if it wasn’t you, who was it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you betrayed me?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No! It wasn’t a betrayal. It was more of a can’t afford any more points on my license. I already have to buy my insurance from this place in the Cayman Islands." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But the only reason I was driving your car was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I know I’m going to regret this but, what trauma?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "On my twelfth birthday I really wanted a titanium centrifuge, so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Of course." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me… wow, this is hard. They got me… a motorised dirt bike." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What twelve year old boy wants a motorised dirt bike?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All of them." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Huh?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, so we’re getting this one?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I suppose." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He doesn’t need them, he’s already got a 640 connect switch" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, okay then this one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, the man on the box looks so happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny! If I’m going to buy Leonard a gift, I’m going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I know I’m going to regret this but, what trauma?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "On my twelfth birthday I really wanted a titanium centrifuge, so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, the man on the box looks so happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny! If I’m going to buy Leonard a gift, I’m going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I know I’m going to regret this but, what trauma?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "On my twelfth birthday I really wanted a titanium centrifuge, so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Of course." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me… wow, this is hard. They got me… a motorised dirt bike." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I realize that…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not finished. It is because of you that I now have a criminal record, and it is because of you that I missed out on having gelato with Stan Lee." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, maybe you’ll have another chance to have…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no. I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee because opportunities to have gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime. The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, yes. Hi, hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. I don’t want to impose." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no. It’s not an imposition. At this point, in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover, a small scavenging bird that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles. Please, fly into our open maw, and have at it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, he has a job. How bad can it be?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, his rent and car lease are exceedingly high. You couple that with his penchant for dining out and shopping." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait, wait, not shopping for clothes, right? Because look." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He also has a remarkable amount of credit card debt." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Of course I haven’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, one of the great minds of our time. His work in black body form and anisotropy of the cosmic microwave background radiation cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s kind of a funny name, though, Smoot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s like talking to a chimp." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me? Isn’t this the point where the world-weary barkeep absentmindedly wipes down the bar and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right. What’s troubling you, buddy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think your heart’s in it, but since you asked. Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj’s sister, we’re all forced to hang out at his apartment." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right. What’s troubling you, buddy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think your heart’s in it, but since you asked. Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj’s sister, we’re all forced to hang out at his apartment." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, the horror." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Indeed. Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music, and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula. (Phone rings) Oh, I have to get this. Umbrella?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, the contents are irrelevant. A legal bailment has been created. Does that mean nothing to you?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It means nothing to anybody. Come here, let me show you what I’m doing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bailment describes a relationship in common law where a physical possession of personal property, or chattels, is transferred from one person, the bailor, to another person, the bailee." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, look, look! I started a business." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Obviously, not a cleaning business." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, well, I’m gonna have to call them and cancel the order." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation? My brilliance and innovation, of course, but still." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I just don’t see how see can pull this off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, that, right there, that equivocation and self-doubt, that is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, sweetie, are you all right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I’m not all right. It’s been six days since I was supposed to get a haircut and nothing horrible has happened." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I’m sorry, I don’t understand." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, explain it to her." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hi, uh, Penny, this circular is addressed to occupant, but with our apartment switch, it’s unclear whether it’s yours or mine." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What’s it for?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Roofing." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, it’s yours." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, thanks. Just throw it out. Speaking of occupants, I’m given to understand Raj will be moving into my old room." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, honey, did you even know the people that are moving out?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I never met them. That’s what made them perfect, there were no awkward hellos in the halls, there was no clickety-clacking of high heel shoes on hardwood floors, they may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape without that annoying ammonia urine smell." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I’m sure the new people will be just as quiet." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t know that. How can you possibly know that?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, well, anyways, I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Stale pastry is hollow succour to a man who is bereft of ostrich." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Just say thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I thought I just did." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Penny! (Knock, knock, knock) Penny! (Knock, knock, knock) Penny!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sorry, Stallion. Your weird friend Giraffe is here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello, Penny. I just stopped by to bring you this gift." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Gummy bears? Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now that you’re in my debt, please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my commitment to attend her aunt’s tedious birthday party." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, no occasion, just felt like getting some Chinese chow for my peeps." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Even though the menu description specifies shredded?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Brown rice, not white?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you pick up the low-sodium soy sauce from the market?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. See how it’s done, Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you let Wil Wheaton get in your head?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What are you talking about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s evil. He plays evil mind games. Did he tell you his grandmother died?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, if he does, don’t believe it. He’s not above playing the dead meemaw card." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In all of them, that is the point." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, do you guys mind if I start?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Um, Penny, that’s where I sit." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So, sit next to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I sit there." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What’s the difference?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s the difference?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh my God, I love this chicken." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, you know what they say, the best things in life are free." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, you’re right, I eat your food a lot. How about this, you can raid my fridge any time you want." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that’s very kind of you. Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D cell battery with a jar of old pickle juice, I’ll come a-knocking." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was enjoying some virtual reality, until you ruined it with your actual face." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What am I smelling?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, it’s car air freshener. I was simulating the smell of the forest." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s not what the forest smells like." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, how would I know?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but you wouldn’t understand." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, try me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. I’ve devoted the prime of my life to string theory and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. I’ve got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. I get it. I mean, not all the jibberjabber in the middle, but I know what it’s like to put your heart and soul into something and get nothing out of it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You mean your acting career?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your relationship with Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, you’re up early." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I couldn’t sleep." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I told you those Walking Dead pillowcases were a bad idea." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, that’s not it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Is something bothering you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but you wouldn’t understand." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, try me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. I’ve devoted the prime of my life to string theory and its quest for the compactification of extra dimensions. I’ve got nothing to show for it, and I feel like a fool." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, you think coffee, means coffee, that is so sweet. Come on, I think I have decaf." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good, Stuart, I thought I heard your voice. Do you have a moment?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I know, I know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can still eat." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, you already threw up once. Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, but just don’t fight" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I dunno. I just think it’s a waste. (Picks up box. Sheldon screams.) Relax. I’m just looking at the box." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps you should look with your eyes, and not your muscular Nebraska man-hands." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What is your problem?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My problem is that I don’t want you to break Leonard’s toy, which you probably did by shaking it. She shook it. We all saw her." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, nice job, man-hands." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I didn’t break it. I, I guess Stuart sold it to me like this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Yes, he did, that is a perfectly satisfying and plausible explanation. Yeah, let’s all be mad at Stuart." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dumplings? Don’t you understand what’s going on here?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "As a rule, no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That show ended with all the residents of New York either dead or unconscious. Oh, now I’ll never know what happened." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, why don’t you make up your own ending?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, sure, what a wonderful idea. And after that, I’ll make up my own rules of oral hygiene. You know, instead of flossing, I’ll rub pudding on my gums. I’m going to get the number of the SyFy Channel and give them what for." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "What can we do that’s free?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, got it. We order a pizza." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Are you kidding? That’s what you always do. Think harder." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re right. You’re right. Got it. We order calzones, cut them open, eat them like pizza. All right, all right, I’ll shake the brain bush one more time, see what falls out. Got it. There’s a live-action role-playing group that meets every Thursday night in Griffith Park and re-enacts battles from Lord of the Rings." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re not working late. Why did you lie to me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And Amy, you told me you were sick, but you look just as pale and tired as always." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ah, so the yogurt didn’t work. I’ll fire off a critical e-mail to the manufacturer." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, good, you’re up. Look, my car won’t start. I need a ride to work." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you once again ignore your check engine light?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, Mr. smarty-pants. I ignored the fill gas tank light." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, Penny wants to exploit any residual feelings you have for her in order to get a ride to work." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m fine." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sweetie, are you sure you don’t want to come with us to the funeral?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I appreciate the offer, but Arthur is gone and there’s nothing I can do about it. When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, he blew up the Death Star. Why do I know this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Arthur Jeffries was a scientist. I’m sure he didn’t care about silly superstitions like funerals. You know, if he were here, I think he’d say enjoy Star Wars Day." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I think I know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s gonna get sucked in. It’s going to get sucked in." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I didn’t know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "What do you want?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I need access to the Cheesecake Factory’s walk-in freezer." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now, honey, I already told you, the hamburger meat is fresh and stored at a safe temperature." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. This is to train for a three-month expedition to the magnetic North Pole." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, but to elaborate, I’m going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re all going?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "For three months?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. This is to train for a three-month expedition to the magnetic North Pole." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, but to elaborate, I’m going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re all going?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "For three months?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Excuse me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that a yes or a no on the freezer? The woman has the attention span of a gnat." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Jibber-jabber? I don’t jibber-jabber." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What are you doing at work these days?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’m working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory, specifically quantum field theory in D-dimensional de Sitter space." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Alright, come on, even you have to admit that’s jibber-jabber." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting, do you know where the phrase jibber-jabber comes from?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli into my circulatory system, hunky-dory. (Penny laughs) Did I say something amusing?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, maybe, I have no idea what you said." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "My mirth. Classic." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What happened?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, your buddy got mugged by some baby farm animals." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Been there." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Mmm. So what do you need help with?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy’s mad at me, and I’m not clear why." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. Were you talking before she got upset?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s probably it. What’d you say to her?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Mmm. So what do you need help with?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy’s mad at me, and I’m not clear why." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. Were you talking before she got upset?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s probably it. What’d you say to her?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And that made her angry?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Baffling, right? We were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers. I stopped so I could ask the question. Next thing I know, good-bye, kissy face. Hello, yelly face." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, no, no, no. I’ve had way too much already." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here’s an interesting fact about alcohol." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hit me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint, sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Monkeys." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When does a monkey have a trunk?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "In my apartment, while I was sleeping." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And snoring. And that’s probably just a sinus infection, but it could be sleep apnoea, you might want to see an otolaryngologist. It’s a throat doctor." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Depending on the depth, that’s either a proctologist or a general surgeon. (Leonard holds up a sign reading “Sarcasm”) Oh!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "What now?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s some value to taking a multivitamin, but the human body can only absorb so much, what you’re buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, maybe that’s what I was going for." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then you’ll want some manganese." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, sweetie, I know you think you’re explaining yourself, but you’re really not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just come with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What does it mean?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, you went to college." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but I was eleven." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Alright, look, a tie on the doorknob usually means someone doesn’t want to be disturbed because they’re, you know, getting busy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you’re saying Leonard has a girl in there." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m sorry?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Semiotics. The study of signs and symbols, it’s a branch of philosophy related to linguistics." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, sweetie, I know you think you’re explaining yourself, but you’re really not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just come with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What does it mean?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, you went to college." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but I was eleven." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts. You know, I gotta ask, why didn’t you just get a license at 16 like everybody else?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was otherwise engaged." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Doing what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Examining perturbative amplitudes in n=4 supersymmetric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multi-loop n=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing, I just really didn’t want to come. Virgin diet cuba libre please." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In a tall glass, with a lime wedge." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I’ll wedge it right in there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, how’s Koothrappali d…. oh my Lord." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Huh." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well how do you feel?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand the question." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well I’m just asking if it’s difficult to be fighting with your best friend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. I hadn’t thought about it like that. I wonder if I’ve been experiencing physiological manifestations of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait… what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I couldn’t poop this morning." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You should just talk to him, I’m sure you guys can work this out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s certainly preferable to my plan." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand the question." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well I’m just asking if it’s difficult to be fighting with your best friend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. I hadn’t thought about it like that. I wonder if I’ve been experiencing physiological manifestations of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait… what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I couldn’t poop this morning." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You should just talk to him, I’m sure you guys can work this out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s certainly preferable to my plan." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Which was?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A powerful laxative." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, little idea?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, I mean he tried to explain it to me, I didn’t really understand it but…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course you didn’t, he said little idea?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, well no, no, not in… not in those words." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In what words then, exactly" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Um, gee, the exact words aren’t written… it’s more the spirit in which it’s" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What did he say?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30. Go to sleep." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "2530 East Andy Devine Avenue," } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, God." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, exactly. Consequently, if Amy and I choose to bring new life into this world, it will be accomplished clinically, with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes. Which reminds me, you have broad hips and a certain corn-fed vigour. Is your womb available for rental?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, there must be a hell of a storm somewhere." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Joke if you must, but you’re going to miss these moments. With Leonard home in a few days, this was your last time driving me to the grocery store." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, I will miss this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll tell you what, if my apples are mealy, we’ll hit the produce section for one last crazy blowout. Heck, you can even push the cart. Please don’t take my looking forward to Leonard’s return as criticism of the job you’ve been doing in his absence." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ooh, me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, a moment. We just had Thai food. In that culture, the last morsel is called the krengjai piece, and it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Thank you all for this high honour." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve seen pictures of your mother, keep eating." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, it’s not all pants, there’s one shirt." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, that’s my shirt." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I know. What are the odds?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Easily calculable, we begin by identifying the set of married couples with unisex names. We then eliminate those unqualified for restaurant work, the aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example. Next we look at…" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Aw. So handsome. Like James Bond." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Better than James Bond, because he’s tinier." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m going to make some warm milk and then turn in. I trust if you two are planning in engaging in amorous activites, you’ll keep the decibel level to a minimum." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Of course." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. (Throws a chocolate. Penny catches it in her mouth)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Will you be serving cranberry jelly or cranberry sauce?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I guess I could serve both." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You guess? You don’t seem to have much of a handle on this." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Present! Yeah!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard. Now, how can you not get that?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Soon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Come on, Leonard, I am spoon-feeding this to you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You, too. Oh, don’t forget. Tuesday the air filters need to be changed." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, you wrote it on my hand." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Oh, and every other day, check the water level on the avocado pit." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, glasses off. Find Waldo." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hurry up, find him, find him." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In fact, I have 61 of them. Would you like to see the list?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, say no, say no, say no, say no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You just got off the list. Would you like back on it? This’ll just take a moment. It’s on a five and a quarter inch floppy." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, five. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, wow, look at that, my Department of Defence research grant is renewed." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh! Great roll! Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron and build the large Hadron Collider." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re a natural at this, Penny. And as the first beta testers, you two’ll have quite the edge when we play with Wolowitz and Koothrappali on Sunday." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "My friend, Justin." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Pay attention, Leonard. That’s why she can’t play on Sunday." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, do we have to suffer through this transparently manipulative pseudo-reality again?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Definitely." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s no point in dwelling on it. As the Vulcans say, Kup-fun-tor ha’kiv na’ish Du stau." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, I could totally rock a hat like that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, which I’ve never viewed in its entirety, as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also, it’s really scary." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, it is." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah,uh, look, it is scientifically impossible for a person to tip a cow. Even you, with your stocky build and lumberjack shoulders, you couldn’t do it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Maybe." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, Penny, excellent. I’d like to say I’m very happy that you’re back together, and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will. In the meantime, I’d like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement specifically to address Penny’s annoying personal habits." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, great selection, great prices." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My mother was right. Hell is real." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, there’s hooks in the closet, I can hang it right now." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, no, no, those hooks are gone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What happened to them?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, look at all the babies." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Some will be successful, some may be homeless. It’s fun to think about." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, no, I just need to be alone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, a sandwich, a rabbi and yo mama walk into a bar. Where are you going?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That is so hot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date are considered read and agreed to. Any new business?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Mm." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Anyway…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that wasn’t clear. Try it again, but this time drive it home with how do you like them apples, Missy?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, keep thinking." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re making it too complicated. Why not stick to the basics? Go shopping for clothes while Leonard and I sit in those uncomfortable chairs and hold your purses, hmm? I know I’d hate that. Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, have fun." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I will, nothing more fun than a paradigm-shifting evening of science." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. Hey, I thought you were trying to trick me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now, you just get comfortable." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no, comfort is the enemy. You know what’s comfortable? Slippers and blankets and panda bears. Imagine a panda bear with Richard Feynman’s face on it. Warm up the car, Leonard, it’s poster time." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, well, maybe we do." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m willing to if you guys are." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yay!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands will give us the best chance to survive in the wild." } ]