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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Amy, don’t be like that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why did I just hear Amy’s name?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "She’s upset. Look, it’s gonna be a great wedding. Look at you in your little suit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy’s upset? Is it about me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I have a question." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You don’t even like people touching you. How are you going to have sex?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why on Earth would we have sex?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, honey, did your mom not have the talk with you? You know, when your private parts started growing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your characterization of approximately 171 different men as a few." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What? Where did you get 171 men?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I’ve known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors. If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15…" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Whoa, wait, wait, wait. I did not start dating at 15." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. 16?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I’ve known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors. If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15…" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Whoa, wait, wait, wait. I did not start dating at 15." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. 16?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "14." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My mistake. Now, assuming the left side of a bell curve peaking around the present, that would bring the total up to 193 men. Plus or minus eight men." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I want oatmeal." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, well, I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn’t a giant pain in the ass." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sure that will happen soon enough. But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know what, I give up. He’s impossible." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t be impossible. I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, “I give up, he’s improbable.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And it’s not a cartoon, it’s anime." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Anime. You know, I knew a girl in high school named Anna May. Anna May Fletcher. She was born with one nostril. Then she had this bad nose job and basically wound up with three." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re here a lot now." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, am I talking too much? I’m sorry. Zip." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Chocolate?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, we’re not sure. But I want to wait long enough to prove to my mother I’m not pregnant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "May I have one of your fries?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I’m not. French fries have three variables, crispiness, saltiness and shape. Which is why a curly fry only gets a two. If I wanted curls for dinner, I’d order a clown wig." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, a relationship is more complicated than a French fry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not according to the work of Berscheid, Snyder and Omoto." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s been around for 25 years, and has been extensively corroborated by other researchers." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, kind of takes the romance out of relationships." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Kind of? It does it perfectly." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ugh, fine. But the man really needs to work on his girl issues." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Another reason to consider a life of piracy. Even today, I understand that’s an all-male profession." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know. What if living together kills the romance?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, you guys had sex one whole time. Nothing can put out a fire like that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, but what happens when we each get a peek behind the curtain? I mean, she’s never even seen me unshaven." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You sound just like the cable company. All right, so, shh, Tyra Banks is about to kick someone off  America’s Next Top Model." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, Penny, but we’re…" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sweetie, once you stop paying rent, none of this is really yours." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But that’s my room." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. The Texas Rangers tracked them down to their village and slaughtered every last one of them. It was a happy ending. Well, for my nine-fingered Nana." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, back to the ring. Does Amy even know about this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. She broke up with me before I could broach the subject." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I realized something. When Amy was in my life, I was hyper-focused on my work and ignored her." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And you don’t want to make the same mistake with the next woman." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I need a new woman in my life to ignore so I can hyper-focus on my work again." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course. I’m already seeing a more efficient way of taming the ultravi… I know why the song was in my head." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s about Amy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, look, I know Amy’s like an old lady, but she’s not old enough to have a song from the sixties written about her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s about how she made my life better. Consider the lyrics. I was living like half a man. Then I couldn’t love, but now I can. More soul than I ever had. I love the way you soften my life.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s about Amy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, look, I know Amy’s like an old lady, but she’s not old enough to have a song from the sixties written about her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s about how she made my life better. Consider the lyrics. I was living like half a man. Then I couldn’t love, but now I can. More soul than I ever had. I love the way you soften my life.”" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "She did soften your life, didn’t she?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. She’s like the dryer sheets of my heart. I have to go." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Actually, I get what he’s saying." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes, nine. Welcome back, buddy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s like if you’re dating someone you’re not that into, and then they break up with you and then you want them more than ever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have no idea what she’s talking about, but we’re ganging up on you so I agree." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m really happy you and Amy are back together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Thursday can’t get here soon enough. I’m taking off work to watch the original trilogy while I eat enough Star Wars cereal to choke a Wookiee." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy’s birthday." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And you do realize I bought my ticket when Amy and I were broken up? I hope you didn’t need anything in that case, ’cause it’s closed." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, what about your friend Amy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy Farrah Fowler doesn’t believe in wearing costumes. She isn’t the free spirit I am." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You were, but somehow I held myself back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know what you could make us do? Ice-skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard’s asthma and it plays right into my well-known fear of getting flattened by a Zamboni." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ooh, look who’s out on a date. Pasadena’s favourite power couple, Shamy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And that is the answer to the question, what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "(Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. I don’t see why you get to snort derisively and point that out. You’d be lucky to land a fella like me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Fine, go ahead." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please tell me you’re not having coitus." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "We are not having coitus." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can you guarantee that it won’t happen at any time during the night?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. Hang on. Are you saying someday you and Amy might actually get physical?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a possibility." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, don’t get all huffy. You’re the one who decided to move in without even asking me if I was ready." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I think we should talk about that." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And since you love the truth so much, why don’t you tell Amy you don’t want to live with her instead of blaming it on me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I thought we were talking about the other thing." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He can’t kill me, even if I turn." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, that seemed a little farfetched." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Because last month, I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card, an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Power failure. Implementing power-failure protocol." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She stiffed you?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I believe that’s what your roommate did to her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, careful. You’re poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, but we don’t have to debate this. We’re scientists. We can conduct our own research. I propose that we imprison two street people and…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In the interest of science, I’d be willing to." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What? You’re okay with an experiment where you have to answer awkward questions about your innermost feelings?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Which I also figured out by myself." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I’m glad you’re still together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, okay, you can stop trying to make this about our relationship." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You and Amy? Good?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, better than good." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s fine. You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Based on this pep talk, I’d say you’re still doing it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "My point is, there was a time I never would’ve been friends with someone like you, and now you are one of my favourite people. So, if what you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom, I’m happy to do it with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, everyone will think I’m weird." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know that you worked hard to put this together. I’m sorry I’m ruining it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, pl, you’re not ruining it. Look, at some point, Raj will try to get everyone to do the Electric Slide. Now, that will ruin it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think I can go back out there." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s fine. You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Based on this pep talk, I’d say you’re still doing it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, so are you." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Guys, if I wanted to hear people be bitchy, I’d go to my real salon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, lots of people could’ve had that idea, but very few people could’ve worked out the math the way I did." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was valedictorian and expected to give an address. Even now, I can remember that moment when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd. There must have been thousands of people. My heart started pounding in my chest. I began to hyperventilate. My vision became blurry, and before I knew it… oh, dear. (He faints.)" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "It was a letter explaining that your dad wasn’t who he said he was. Eventually, his other life caught up to him, and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I would like to change mine. The pirate’s name was Peg-Leg Antoine. Now it’s completely different from Goonies." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh God, you know, four years I lived with him, four years, that’s like as long as High School." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It took you four years to get through High School?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You? No, you’ll only make it worse." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You want to know the most pathetic part? Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts, I still love him. Is that crazy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You mean your acting career?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your relationship with Leonard?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your failed attempt to go back to college?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No. I’m saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, and I know what it’s like to be in one and realize it’s never gonna turn out the way you want." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said Leonard, you said no." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m talking about other guys." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. Well, what do you do?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your failed attempt to go back to college?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No. I’m saying you and string theory sound like a relationship, and I know what it’s like to be in one and realize it’s never gonna turn out the way you want." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said Leonard, you said no." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m talking about other guys." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. Well, what do you do?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You have to have the courage to end the relationship. You know? Break it off, shake hands, walk away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know if I can do that." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, give her a break from, well, come on." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Bernadette, looks like Saturday night, it’s you and me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Boy, you chase one balloon for three miles." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "We were worried about you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t be melodramatic. I’m just getting on a train and leaving forever." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Seriously? He invented the Rubik’s Cube." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, fine, but why would you invite him to our wedding?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because, despite his fame and fortune, he strikes me as a lonely man." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Still haven’t heard from her?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, and I’m confused. It’s been nearly 24 hours. Amy should have figured out she’s wrong by now." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, I don’t think she’s wrong about you going too slow in the relationship." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Too slow?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, you’ve been going out for years. You haven’t even slept together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s right. It’s called foreplay. And I could make the case that you two aren’t moving forward in your relationship." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, hello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, there’s this girl I know from back in Nebraska, Christie, well anyway she called me up and she’s like “Hey, how’s California,” and I’m like “Awesome” ‘cos, you know, it’s not Nebraska, and the next thing I know she’s invited herself out here to stay with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "8:08." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she’s kind of family." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I apologise for my earlier outburst, who needs Halo when we can be regaled with the delightfully folksy tale of the whore of Omaha?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Um, Raj, honey, you say you can’t talk to women but… you’ve been talking to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And now we’ll never know." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No! No! No. Let’s just all finish our dinners, okay?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is an interesting topic. How many sexual encounters have you had?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I said I’ll get to it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sensing awkwardness, am I right?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, thank you. I’m not eating pizza tonight." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "But it’s Thursday. Thursday’s pizza night." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not for me. Thursday is now Cruciferous Vegetable Night. Tonight’s selection, brussels sprouts." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thanks for letting me stay here while Leonard Skypes with his girlfriend." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, it’s no problem. It’s actually kind of nice. You reading, me reading. We’re like an old married couple." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If we were an old married couple, the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t have iced tea and snickerdoodles." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A good wife would go to the store." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, I got to go to work. I’ll walk down with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. Uh, which is closer to the new train store in Monrovia, the movie theatre or the Cheesecake Factory?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, Hi, listen, as long as I’m here, I’m on a quest with a bunch of noobs, they don’t know what they’re doing, we’ve got one assassin, three spellcasters and no tank." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can we talk about this later." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, no, no, no, I need you now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But wouldn’t you prefer to socialise with Tom, who is a sexually passive outdoorsman." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You guys are going out two nights in a row?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I missed a number of date nights while I was on my train trip, and I’m contractually obligated to make them up under the terms of the Relationship Agreement." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ooh, ooh, it’s the comic book store. All right, come on, that’s where we have to go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But we haven’t finished the puzzle." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "But, it, it doesn’t matter. We know the answer, come on." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You think you know the answer. But it could be a trick. What if when the puzzle’s complete, there’s a sign in the window that says go to the train store?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, it’s not gonna say that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I hope you’re wrong. I really want to go to the train store." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ugh, we’re the last ones here, hurry up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is a marathon, not a sprint." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "People run in a marathon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not with a bowling ball on their back." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What a wonderful day, thank you." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, we’re glad you had fun." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store? It’s like I died and went to the post-mortem, neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, it’s not forever. It’s just for a while. If you want, we can think of him like he’s our dog." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can. I’m happy when you come home. And I’m scared of fireworks. By the way, on July Fourth, we’re all sleeping here." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait. Why don’t you guys stay across the hall, and we will live here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. If my official residence were across the hall, I wonder if I’d need to knock every time I came over here." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Historically, I don’t do well with change." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, it won’t be that bad. We wouldn’t even sit in your spot while you’re gone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re darn right, you wouldn’t. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, no, that’s not it. Just come with me, please." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let’s see what I’ll be washing that succotash down with. A pitcher of margaritas." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "And you guys aren’t going? I can’t believe you, Raj is celebrating a tremendous accomplishment and you’re not even going to be there to support him?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A tremendous accomplishment would be if the planetary body he discovered were plummeting toward Earth and he exploded it with his mind." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, we’re going to dinner. You want to come?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I wish I could, but I realized I’ve become too emotionally vulnerable, so, like an operating system, I’m restoring my life to the last stable version, which was in 2003, the day before I met Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Roll the dice, Leonard." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, my friend from Omaha, plays the guitar. Anyway, he’s coming to L.A. looking for some session work, so I told him he could just crash on my couch for a few weeks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Come on, Leonard, if you roll a six, Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown. See what I mean when I say the fun is real?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly allergic kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Howard, and for our suddenly back on the Hindu wagon Raj, meatlover’s pizza, no meat. Coming right up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. Excuse me. You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I didn’t tell you? You’re banished from the Cheesecake Factory." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "More or less." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Great. (Drinks the tequila) Now, where were we?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there’s an app for that. Let’s see. Harvey Wallbanger. Eh. Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so. Rob Roy, Silk Slipper, Mad Hatter. Ooh! I’ll have a Rosewater Ricky." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come on, smile. This is gonna be my Christmas card." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know this is all your fault." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t Sheldon me. We ordered for five people, not six." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, it’s fine. We’ll just put it all on the table, you know, family style." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, sure. And while we’re at it, why don’t we put our hands behind our backs, have an old-fashioned eating contest?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I’ll stream it on Netflix." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "We’re sorry. What do you need?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, as you know, I’ll be celebrating Amy’s birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No. We’re always doing what you guys want. Just once, it’d be nice if you did something we wanted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You want to be green?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand why women insist on making a big production out of buying clothes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, you’re right, we should do what you do. Have our mom send us pants from the Walmart in Houston." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "They have a man there who understands my personal style." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, the diner scene. Where’s my diner scene?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, don’t ask me. Until I see the prequel, I’m lost." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "And hold three, two, one. Very good. Now let’s try Warrior 2. And hold." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, well, I don’t think we’re gonna get to do that today." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Too bad. It seems like a good way to drink a milk shake without getting brain freeze." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, you get some sleep." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I don’t want to go to sleep, you can’t make me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re right, we can’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, darn straight, you can’t. Try to tell a grown man to go to sleep." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Great. I hope I’m a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory for my whole life." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Was that sarcasm?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Was that sarcasm?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Was that sarca.." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good. Dinner’s here." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, dinner’s here, and I’m having some. I’m having takeout food." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re damn right it’s okay. I’ve been having leftovers at the restaurant for like four days, and I wanted something different. So sue me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Forgive me, Penny, but that would be the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Going home, where I won’t be interrogated like a criminal. I forgot my fortune cookie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In case either of you have larceny in your heart, you should know that I’ve moved my money out of the snake can." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "KMN." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now, in this pivotal scene, Sheldon’s mother, played by you, argues with an emissary of the United Federation of Planets, Mr. Spock, the role I will bring to life." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, that’s fine, but let’s try and get you out of your comfort zone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would we want to do that? It’s called the comfort zone for a reason." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s good. That’s good. That’s good." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mommy, why are you crying? ‘Cause I’m gonna miss you, Shelly-bean, even though you creep the bejeezus out of me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I guess we’re improvising now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well I’m sorry. It’s not my fault. I’m just incredibly smart, and everyone around here is dumber than a bag of rocks. Oh, now, don’t you start crying. You get in that spaceship. Mommy’s late for Indian bingo." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s just wrong." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, let’s go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse, I’d like to call on your skills as an actress." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What is this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve taken the liberty of scripting your appearance on the witness stand because, let’s face it, you’re somewhat of a loose cannon. Now, don’t worry, it’s written in your vernacular. So shall we rehearse?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was found guilty and fined $533." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m going to write you a cheque for that. As long as you promise to put it in your drawer and never cash it, like the others." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I also now have three points on a driver’s licence I do not yet possess, and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology, simply because I refuse to urinate in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Here, buy this one. Look, it’s the one we’re getting, see, happy guy available." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no, no, no, she doesn’t want that, she needs a point to point peer network with a range extender." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I understand your envy. This is a can’t-miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bioorganic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, plus a roundtable on the nonequilibrium Green’s function approach to the photoionization process in atoms." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, for an extra four bucks, I can have this thing here tomorrow." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I know it was your idea, but the reporter said he’s been following my work for a while, and the only reason they even mentioned it in the magazine is ’cause my name is on it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Honey, do you want some coffee?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I don’t drink coffee." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come on, but if you don’t stay awake we’ll never finish in time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, coffee’s out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn’t start doing drugs." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t do this. I’m going to faint." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Here, drink this. It’ll relax you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alcohol? I don’t drink alcohol." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Fine, faint." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t feel different, this alcohol’s defective." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You got me. While you’re there, could pick me up a few comics for my nephew’s birthday?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think you mean comic books. Comics are feeble attempts at humour featuring talking babies and anthropomorphized pets found traditionally in the optimistically named funny pages." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Home from work? What time is it?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s nine o’clock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nine o’clock? What happened to eight and seven and all the other o’clocks?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m here to support my man, just like you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are you going to do? Take people’s drink orders and get them wrong?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s Friday night, that means Chinese food and vintage video games, right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Vintage doesn’t even begin to describe what we have planned. Tonight, we are playing the classic 1980 interactive text adventure, Zork. It’s the buggy beta version." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, we’ll be in the woods." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m ready to go." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I will still come to your meeting." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I should hope so. Tomorrow’s picture day." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t see why that’s surprising. I excel at so many things. You’ve had my sourdough bread." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Did you take dance lessons?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Against my will. In the South, pre-adolescent children are forced through a process called cotillion, which indoctrinates them with all the social graces and dance skills needed to function in 18th century Vienna." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, we are so taking you dancing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, you most certainly are not." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things, you know, makeup, underwear, clothes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on, you’re packed." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, who wants a drink?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, we, now, Penny, we don’t consume alcohol during Dungeons & Dragons. It impairs our judgment." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Fifteen’s the point, the point is fifteen. Give the little lady some room, here it is, coming out. Sixteen! Yes! Oh, please tell me we’re playing for money." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, even better than money. You gained experience points." } ]