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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Be safe and call us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I will." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, good news, I just got off the phone with my mother. She is coming to the wedding." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, wait, you’re inviting people to our wedding?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, I’m inviting people to our wedding. Yeah, I’ve already asked Stephen Hawking and Robert Downey Jr, and, now don’t get your hopes up, ’cause he’s pretty busy, but Erno Rubik." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, who’s hungry? We have a reservation at the best restaurant in town." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It only got three-and-a-half stars on Yelp." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m gonna miss you, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, we’re in the red zone. The white zone is for loading and unloading. We’re breaking the law." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, there will be boys, and there will be girls, and it is a party. So, it’ll just be a bunch of my friends, we’ll have some beer, do a little dancing…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dancing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Are you sure? Come on, it’s Halloween." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A Halloween party?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll have a diet coke." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, can you please order a cocktail, I need to practice mixing drinks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. I’ll have a virgin cuba libre." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s, um, rum and coke without the rum." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes," }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So coke." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. And would you make it diet?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "There’s a can in the fridge." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A cuba libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Then swim to Cuba." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bartenders are supposed to have people skills." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon has a girlfriend?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She’s not my girlfriend." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She’s not my girlfriend." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Are you telling me, for the past four months I have been asking you what’s new and you never thought to go with Sheldon has a girlfriend?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She’s not my girlfriend." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. Uncomfortable silence it is. Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy what it was like for you growing up in Texas?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, why don’t you tell her?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. It was hell." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, here’s another possible topic of conversation. This is a big night for Sheldon. Right, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Big night? The winter solstice is a big night. It’s over 14 hours in Southern California." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, yeah, I wouldn’t say many. A few. (Sheldon laugh’s strangely). What’s (imitates Sheldon’s laugh)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your characterization of approximately 171 different men as a few." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What? Where did you get 171 men?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Simple extrapolation. In the three years that I’ve known you, you were single for two. During that time, I saw 17 different suitors. If we work backwards, correcting for observation bias and postulate an initial dating age of 15…" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Although that number would be fairly easy to calculate." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Based on the number of awkward encounters I’ve had with strange men leaving her apartment in the morning, plus the number of times she’s returned home wearing the same clothes she wore the night before…" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, I think you’ve made your point." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So we multiply 193, minus 21 men before the loss of virginity, so 172 times 0.18 gives us 30.96 sexual partners. Let’s round that up to 31." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You need to remove that chair from the building. It’s a health hazard." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, relax. I took off the slipcovers, had them dry-cleaned and then fumigated the cushions." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah. It’s cleaner than my couch. Found half a Hot Pocket in there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It certainly looks okay. Has a strong toxic chemical smell. That’s reassuring." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t you give it a try, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. It is a comfortable chair." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah. It’s cleaner than my couch. Found half a Hot Pocket in there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It certainly looks okay. Has a strong toxic chemical smell. That’s reassuring." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t you give it a try, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. It is a comfortable chair." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t you just admit you overreacted?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, thank you. (Sees insect. More appear and swarm all over him. He jumps out of a daydream on his own couch. Jumps up and runs out to Penny’s apartment." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon? What are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Playing Super Mario on a poorly coded Nintendo 64 emulator." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, but why are you doing it on the stairs?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m a modern day Napoleon exiled to the Elba of the staircase because Leonard, get this, has a date." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh. Oh, well, good for him. Yeah but, why are you sitting here, why don’t you just go to a movie or something?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alone?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What if I choke on my popcorn, who will administer the Heimlich manoeuvre." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I know what it means, Sheldon! God, you know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven’t got a single acting job, I have accomplished nothing, haven’t gotten a raise at work, haven’t even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they’re almost pure protein." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I can’t get the damned key out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well that’s not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagon uses a centre cylinder system." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Thankyou, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re welcome. Point of inquiry, why did you put your car key in the door lock?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ugh. Hey, Sheldon? Hi. This came for you today. It’s from your mom." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, thank you, Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "M-hmm." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, wait, here. For your troubles." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are you doing? You have to start with the edges." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, there’s no right way, Sheldon. I already found a few pieces that fit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, take them apart and start with the edges. And stop wasting time." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, that is incredible." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "From your vantage point, it certainly must seem so." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "We’re doing good. I think Sheldon has something he would like to say to Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wanted to apologize for my behaviour today. It, it was unnecessary. This is warm. Oh, and also, I am willing to forego the bathroom schedule." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what do you say to that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think we should see other people." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Zone." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, you didn’t tell me your mom was coming." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was in my weekly e-mail blast. Right between beet season is finally here, and uh-oh, red stool from beets leads to cancer scare." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, honey, I’ve told you, it’s a small apartment, you only have to knock one time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please, please, I don’t have a lot of time. Look, Ramona finally dozed off, and I need you to help me get rid of her." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Get rid of her how?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know, but apparently I’m in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Excuse me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I know. I just need you stop talking." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, come in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. I’d like to make a sandwich, but I’m out of bread." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "There’s some in the fridge." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You shouldn’t keep your bread in the refrigerator. Staleness is caused by crystallization of the starch molecules, which occurs faster at cool temperatures." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "On Earth, we say thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So Leonard, how goes the mimesis?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Research Lab is more than a game. It’s like the slogan says, the physics is theoretical, but the fun is real." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Get them down." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Apologize." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Never." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty pinata." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Look, wait, Sheldon, this has gotten out of hand, okay? I’ve done some stupid things, you’ve done some stupid things, how about we just call it even and move on with our lives?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve done no stupid things." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Look, you’ve got to meet me halfway here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am meeting you halfway, I’m willing to concede that you’ve done some stupid things." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Where are my clothes?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Your clothes?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really? Despite the sign that says “Do not leave laundry unattended”?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, where are my clothes?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes, earlier this evening I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really? Despite the sign that says “Do not leave laundry unattended”?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, where are my clothes?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes, earlier this evening I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, mwah-ha-ha!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alcohol." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Could you be a little more specific?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ethyl alcohol. 40 millilitres." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know millilitres." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ah. Blame President James “Jimmy” Carter. He started America on a path to the metric system but then just gave up. He wonders why he was a one-term president." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have troubles, Penny. I’ve come to pour them out to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t like the Olive Garden. They treat me like family." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alcohol." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Could you be a little more specific?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ethyl alcohol. 40 millilitres." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so, uh, don’t operate heavy machinery. Try not to choke on your own drool." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait. You have to help me get into bed. Sheldon has to get me into bed. Bet you never thought I’d say that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. The charm of your drug addled candour knows no bounds." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Howard, wait. Sheldon, I think we should tell them." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, sure. I don’t see a problem with that." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Anyway, I’ll leave you be. I have to, oh, oh, he’s expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they still make them." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, Sheldon, this is over the line." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s true, but had I done something under the line, there wouldn’t be a man in your kitchen who can’t produce a single form of ID." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, Sheldon, you want to play next?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I would, but I’m on my way out." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You really didn’t like it, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with him right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas. What a buzz kill that was." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. My sister’s uterus came down with a baby." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, she’s pregnant? That’s great. You’re gone an uncle. Uncle Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what about you? Did you have a Christmas tree?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighbourhood-wide seizures." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "We do?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Doing laundry?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course I’m doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night, and I’m in a laundry room, so, I believe your inference is justified." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "So, what do you think?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Please, Sheldon. I need you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To what?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "To take me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, for the thousandth time, I’m saving myself for someone special. Perhaps a cute bespectacled neuroscientist with hair the color of mud." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, I am very, very sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. No, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life. I’m going to need a ride to the mall." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what took you so long?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wolowitz might hand out cigars. I had to find my bubble gum cigar so I could join in without looking foolish." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, just crazy. Sheldon, what are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sick, thank you very much." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "How could you have gotten it from me, I’m not sick." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re a carrier. All these people here are doomed. You’re doomed!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Shhh! Sheldon, what do you want." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I want soup." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, nice and cosy, okay, I’ll see you later." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. Will you please rub this on my chest." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, can’t you do that yourself?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Vaporub makes my hands smell funny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "But Sheldon…." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I can’t believe I’m doing this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no, counter-clockwise or my chest hair mats." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can you sing “Soft Kitty”." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Look, normally I can just ignore you. I mean, I get it, you’re a little peculiar. You know, like Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you’re the one who’s peculiar." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, it’s no problem, Amy and Sheldon were just telling us about their trip to Texas." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah. Here. I’ll catch you up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How did we get in the car?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s exactly what I told him." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard’s not gonna move out until you’re ready." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, what if you did it gradually?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What time did you tell Amy to be here?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Eight o’clock. (Sheldon checks pocket watch) Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nonsense. I look like a train conductor. Under what pretext did you lure her here?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I said, hey, want to come over and hang out?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good, good, if you had said something clever, she might’ve gotten suspicious." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, you’re up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Amy, I’d like to apologize. Your accomplishment was impressive. And I’m proud of you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, rub Vicks on my chest." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, I cooked you breakfast. I made your bed. I checked your mouth for thrush. You can rub your own chest." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, sure, grope every other male on the planet, but draw the line with me." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, take a break." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Namaste." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, now, well, that’s hurtful." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, you don’t even like it there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can consider a place America’s urinal cake and still enjoy the occasional visit." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh-huh." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, as small as Leonard is, I don’t think the two of you’d be comfortable on the couch." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Look, Sheldon, sweetie, I know you’re feeling insecure, but we’ve really got to go to sleep." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. I’ll take the first watch and wake you at 0400." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And how difficult it is to do when she’s bloated, cranky and crampy? Continue." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, we are just people. We talk about the same things you guys talk about." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You talk about if werewolves can swim? See, Leonard says yes, but I say it depends on if the human could swim before he was bitten. What do you think?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, are you okay?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh yes, I pass out all the time. But, it was worth it. I’ve made substantial progress in bonding with Kripke, which brings me to an awkward moment." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come on, Sheldon, you can’t move. Don’t you need to stay in one place so the mother ship can find you when it returns?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately, as I’m earthbound for the foreseeable future, I need to find a location that’s more hospitable than the mean streets of Pasadena. Like Enid, Oklahoma. Low crime rate and high-speed Internet connectivity, but no model train shops. Sorry, Enid." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah. Sheldon, can I ask you a question?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You ever going to sleep with Amy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s awfully personal." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why don’t we leave that for future generations to decide?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd Century, where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "KMN." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now, in this pivotal scene, Sheldon’s mother, played by you, argues with an emissary of the United Federation of Planets, Mr. Spock, the role I will bring to life." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what the hell are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m trying to get these tables cleared. We’re slammed." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, wait, wait, no, wait. Wh.. what are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A reasonable question. I asked myself, what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable, and three answers came to mind, uh, toll booth attendant, an Apple Store genius, and what Penny does. Now, since I don’t like touching other people’s coins, and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Greetings, Mary Cooper. I am Spock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I just don’t buy it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Just keep going!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, my, your sudden appearance startles me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "We have been monitoring your son Sheldon from the 23rd Century, and we have determined that he is now ready to join us. His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I understand. Oh, Shelly? A man’s here to take you away to the future! Be sure to pack clean underwear.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Just keep going!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, my, your sudden appearance startles me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "We have been monitoring your son Sheldon from the 23rd Century, and we have determined that he is now ready to join us. His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I understand. Oh, Shelly? A man’s here to take you away to the future! Be sure to pack clean underwear.”" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, okay, let’s try that last line again, and this time, maybe try choking up a little." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You just, you just walked in and they hired you, just like that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, heavens, no. Since I don’t need to be paid, I didn’t need to be hired. I simply came in, picked up a tray, and started working for the man. Let me get that plate out of your way." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, this is ridiculous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is it? Just a moment ago I had a minor epiphany regarding the polymer degradation phenomenon while scraping congealed nachos off a plate. Bernadette, table 10 wants their check." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m glad you asked. I took the liberty of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella I wrote when I was ten into a one-act play." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And you think it’s better than Tennessee Williams?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why don’t we leave that for future generations to decide?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Where No Sheldon Has Gone Before." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd Century, where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what did you say?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said the truth. You don’t want to live with Leonard, and you know it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The spiny anteater never went behind my back and worked with Barry Kripke. That didn’t help at all." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, some people try visualization." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How does that work?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, imagine your problems are a pen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now imagine you’re holding that pen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now open your hand and let it go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I just got this pen. It’s got my initials on it and everything. Look." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, this isn’t that hard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I may have a better way that you can teach me." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now imagine you’re holding that pen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Now open your hand and let it go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I just got this pen. It’s got my initials on it and everything. Look." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, this isn’t that hard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I may have a better way that you can teach me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "How?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What if I told you that over the past few months Amy has secretly been giving you little puzzles to test your intelligence against chimpanzees in her lab?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What? She didn’t give me any puzzles." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you sure?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, so, eventually, zombies are going to attack the rehab facility where Sandra Bullock is?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, Sheldon. Keep watching." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, it’s a shame, all that work she’s doing to get sober, only to be torn apart and eaten alive." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excellent. Go on." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "The reason that date is, like, so totally fixed in my memory is that I had the privilege to be witness to one of the most heroic acts I’ve ever seen in, like, ever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And who performed that heroic act?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why, you did, sir. You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and may I add, it is a privilege to know you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s no need for compliments, this court is only interested in the facts." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And who performed that heroic act?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why, you did, sir. You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and may I add, it is a privilege to know you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s no need for compliments, this court is only interested in the facts." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "But it is a fact that it’s a privilege to know you. Totally. A teardrop rolls down my cheek?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Only a suggestion. A catch in your throat would work just as well." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, Sheldon, I didn’t see your present." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s because I didn’t bring one." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My spot on the couch has a great view of a window. Sometimes I can see space battles through it. It’s called a TV." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Give it a chance, Sheldon, you might actually like it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re absolutely right. Nope." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, you can’t say he didn’t give it a fair shot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, when can we get rid of it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, I am really, really sorry, but it’s only for a week. Can’t you be a little bit flexible? Yeah, sorry. I didn’t really think that through." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You claim it’s going to be a week, but I have no faith in your dry cleaner." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you notice the sign on his counter? He’s not a full-time dry cleaner. He also makes keys." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, this is ridiculous. (Knocking) Sheldon? Can I come in?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How do you know I’m not using the facilities?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Because you e-mail me your bathroom schedule once a week, even though I’ve clicked unsubscribe, like, a thousand times. So, what’s going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it, it was just too much." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh. Hey, Sheldon. What can I get ya?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Water. Neat. With a little umbrella." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Where are all your friends?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am the Dark Knight, roaming these mean streets alone. A windbreaker for my cape, and a stern expression for my cowl." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me? Isn’t this the point where the world-weary barkeep absentmindedly wipes down the bar and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. Enough chitchat. Okay, step one, locate your emergency key to our apartment. Step two, enter our apartment. Step three, enter my bedroom." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, hang on, Sheldon, getting another call." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No! Leonard, let me tell you something. Personal robots cannot get here soon enough." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, great, my rhinestones. Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You have to sign this." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I signed for the package, I was deputized by the United Parcel Service and entrusted with its final delivery. I now need you to acknowledge receipt of the package so that I’m fully indemnified and no longer liable." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, it’s just a box of rhinestones." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, the contents are irrelevant. A legal bailment has been created. Does that mean nothing to you?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, it’s just a box of rhinestones." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, the contents are irrelevant. A legal bailment has been created. Does that mean nothing to you?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It means nothing to anybody. Come here, let me show you what I’m doing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bailment describes a relationship in common law where a physical possession of personal property, or chattels, is transferred from one person, the bailor, to another person, the bailee." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t help it, I feel like a teen heartthrob." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, Sheldon, I used to cut my brother’s hair. I could do it for you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but, um, here in town we don’t churn our own butter, we don’t, uh, make dresses out of gunny sacks, and, uh, we sure as shootin’ don’t get our hair cut by bottle-blonde…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, congratulations. Brought you cheesecake from work. You know, ’cause of your award, not because a busboy sneezed on it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not accepting the award." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good for you. Sign here." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, don’t you get it? If this takes off, I won’t have to be a waitress anymore." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But then who will bring me my cheeseburger on Tuesday nights?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Another waitress." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s her name?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And you’re going to let her handle my food?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Nancy. Her name is Nancy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think you’re just making that up." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s eleven am." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I know. You’re safe." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This package came while you were at work." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, great, my rhinestones. Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You have to sign this." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I signed for the package, I was deputized by the United Parcel Service and entrusted with its final delivery. I now need you to acknowledge receipt of the package so that I’m fully indemnified and no longer liable." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I appreciate the pretence." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So, what do you say, Sheldon? Are we your X-Men?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. The X-Men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, did you draft the contract?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You bet I did." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, hey. Sorry, Sheldon, I’ll move." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Eh, why? My spot, your spot, what difference does it make?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, Sh-Sheldon, sometimes it’s nice not knowing what’s coming. I mean, look at me and Leonard. We went out, we broke up, now we’re trying again. We don’t know what’s gonna happen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, please, everyone knows what’s going to happen. But I see your point." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, Sheldon, this craziness has gone on long enough. Please come home so I can cut your hair." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, you’re not trained. You’re not licensed. Most importantly, you don’t have access to my haircut records." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I’m doing. Please let me cut your hair." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy, what do you think?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The horror!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, I’m sure it’s going to be fine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, it’s not going to be fine, change is never fine. They say it is, but it’s not." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, I’m sure it’s going to be fine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, it’s not going to be fine, change is never fine. They say it is, but it’s not." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, honey, did you even know the people that are moving out?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I never met them. That’s what made them perfect, there were no awkward hellos in the halls, there was no clickety-clacking of high heel shoes on hardwood floors, they may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape without that annoying ammonia urine smell." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I know. Bernadette told me. Sorry, Sheldon. I know that game meant a lot to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That game? Excuse me, Penny, but Doodle Jump is a game. Angry Birds is a game. World of Warcraft is a massively multi-player online role-playing… all right, technically it’s a game." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, yeah, I don’t usually dress like this. I’m going jogging." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t jog." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I can start." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "True, but the more likely explanation for your attire is that you’re out of clean clothes again." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Thank you, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re welcome, Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bleuch. Like cleaning out the entire building’s belly button." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hello. What can I do for you ladies?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t believe Penny hasn’t." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, what did you do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not proud of it, but I jaywalked." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "MUON!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Anyway, I got a little residual cheque from my commercial and I thought, hey, how about I get the guys a little thankyou to pay them back. So, Sheldon, ta-da!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ah! A vintage, mint in box, 1975 Mego Star Trek transporter with real transporter action. Hot-darn!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Nice hat, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thanks." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, we’re a little busy here, so…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are you doing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sheldon, have you ever considered not rushing into something new? I mean, why don’t you take your time, enjoy your freedom? Maybe something new to study will find you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s actually not bad advice. You know, I didn’t seek out string theory. It just hit me over the head one day." } ]