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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I’ll have some wine and listen to people go on about crap I don’t understand. I mean, how is it any different than every single day of my life?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I won’t be there." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, that’s basically what I said." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, the point is Higgs is being celebrated for work he did 50 years ago, so that got me thinking, perhaps I’ve already hit upon the idea that will win me my Nobel prize." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now just click on the enchanted boots to put them on." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I don’t know. Can I see them in another colour?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just click on them. Congratulations, you are now a level three warrior." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Since their relationship became carnal, Penny has upgraded his designated term of endearment, thus distinguishing him from those she calls sweetie, usually in an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You’re boring people sweetie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Although, sometimes, she omits the veil entirely." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, you don’t know what’s gonna happen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I do. Eventually you’ll want more space, and you’ll move into a house, and then instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it’ll only be a couple of times a month, and then it’ll only be on special occasions, like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz. Or, or, or like when Koothrappali’s weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body. Or Amy’s wedding, where she’s marrying someone better than me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just a few more signatures, and we’ll be finished. Initial here to acknowledge that you’ve returned your key. Okay. As my future neighbour, I’d like you to have a key. Initial here to acknowledge you received it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m proud of you. You’re taking this really well." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, it’s not like I’m never going to see you two again. Which brings us to article 23 subsection C, please check here to reserve your spot at the ten year roommate reunion." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bueno, mi amigo." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, no, we’re not playing some dumb made-up game." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All games are made up. They’re not found in nature. You don’t just dig in the ground, come across a rich vein of Rock’em Sock’em Robots." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "She’s right. That’s reasonable." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, look who’s in favour of compromise, the woman who married Leonard Hofstadter." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You accidentally stare at a helium-argon laser. Lose one turn and a retina." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "How is that not talking to me like I’m an idiot? It’s my friend, it’s my couch, and it’s my freakin’ life!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s also your roll." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh. Yeah. That’s gone. It’s a rough month when Halloween and PMS hit at the same time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard doesn’t have time to chat, he has to get the mail." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I don’t want credit for that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I’m watching it now. Why would I want to see it again on Friday?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because the print they’re showing on Friday has an additional 21 seconds of previously unseen footage." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, back off, he’s all mine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you don’t have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I can’t believe you punched Bert." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I didn’t punch him. He turned around, and I gave him a Captain Kirk karate chop. I’m not even sure he knows I did it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I heard him interviewed on the radio. You know, when they told him he won, he didn’t believe it, but then he did believe it. It was so funny." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who listens to the radio any more?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is he okay?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "He’s still in surgery." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, it’s nice you got him that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, this isn’t for Leonard, no. Amy bought it for me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have two words for you, Jurassic Park. This day just keeps getting worse and worse." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, if it makes you feel any better…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It probably won’t." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, better than North Dakota! (Pause) I guess that joke’s only funny in Nebraska." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "From the data at hand you really can’t draw that conclusion. All you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, it’s okay, I understand." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thanks for your consideration, now please leave." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I sense that’s not sincere, although I have no idea why." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, it’s fine. Look, Sir Isaac can go right next to this little candy cane." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. Isaac goes at the top of the tree." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s the Del Taco." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why is Leonard softly banging his head against his bedroom door?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, forget it. I take it back. Offer’s off the table." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who’s in the mood to laugh?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, not good. Still couldn’t get in to see Dr. Gallo." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A doctor? Well, I hope you’re not contagious. I’ve got a weekend in the telescope room I’ve been excited about for almost three minutes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but I assumed I would have been dead hundreds of years, and that there would be an asterisk by his name because he would be a cyborg." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So, you’ve got a bit of competition, I really don’t see what the big deal is." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well of course you don’t, you’ve never excelled at anything." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Boy, this is great. I haven’t had a vacation in ages." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In order to take a vacation, one first has to work." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. Now we’re getting somewhere." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Look, I know you think I’m being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her résumé, she is no longer 22." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You keep saying you’re on my side, but you don’t act like it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He does that to me, too. Why do we put up with it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, it’s scary for me, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m fine with it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m not scared. I would’ve gone all Nebraska on their asses." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard and Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We just had a major crime in the building, and you open the door without asking who it is?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It won’t happen again, what’s up?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing. Just wanted to see if you were both okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. You know what? I see where this is going. I’m not one of you guys. I’m not a scientist. So just…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, Penny, Penny. Everything you’re saying is true, but please allow me to continue. Raj, you’re out. The good question, while you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group, your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing. How could you, for a moment, think that my favourite amino acid is Glutamine?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I would prefer if people told me exactly what is on their mind." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No. No, you don’t, you really don’t. I actually can’t say don’t enough." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, it certainly would be easier. You have no idea what it’s like to struggle with recognizing emotional cues." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Maybe you don’t, I do. What’s the deal?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, word around the university is I’m giving her sex organs a proper jostling." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, whatever. It’s not like I’m running up and down the streets just buying myself berets. I bought one, like, a month ago, and it was back-ordered, look, it finally arrived, all right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "He didn’t know it till he was cuffed, but yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Leonard, if you’re happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "He’s my brother. I didn’t think I needed your permission." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, hey. Now she’s angry, too. This thing works like gangbusters." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I’m gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, guys, it sounds like you’re getting angry again." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That would really piss me off if I didn’t have a buzz going on." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing for dinner on the train?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ugh. Well, lucky for you, there’s nothing else to do right now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, please, I recognize the walk of shame when I see it. All you’re missing is a little smeared mascara and a purse with panties wadded up in it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s going on?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Undoubtedly yet another snide response to my repeated letters complaining that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order. From left to right, it’s supposed to be federal, state, and then city of Pasadena." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m sorry. You sent more than one letter about that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It bothers me." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s a non-optional social convention." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Fair enough." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I hope you’re satisfied, Penny. You are responsible for all the evil that has befallen me today." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I realize that…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not finished. It is because of you that I now have a criminal record, and it is because of you that I missed out on having gelato with Stan Lee." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s real great. Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition I thought was going to be for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you get the part?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I didn’t do the audition." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Given the state of your career, can you really afford to be picky?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, no, you didn’t trade the food for magic beans, did you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course not. And, technically, magic beans would be food, although eating them would be quite a waste, since you could plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "This is why I’ve been saying we should keep champagne on ice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sarcasm?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, it’s a great time to be alive, isn’t it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t worry. My problems can wait while you two hens finish your clucking." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I doubt that. I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’m sorry, that is what I meant." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I do. You just happen to have caught me on a break. Oh, let me see those cards." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not knowing is part of the fun. Was that the motto of your community college?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’ve got a spaghetti strainer in the kitchen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wow." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What about his dog?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "She’ll be in her crate, it’s not a big deal." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I suppose that’s acceptable." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, it’s done. Look, guys, for the future, I don’t mind killing the big spiders, but you have to at least try with the little ones." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, please, we’re facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrappali setting up her stereo." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, they’re all up there, huh? Hmm, typical." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s axiomatically atypical. Up until recently, they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her in a previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants, so your characterization of their behaviour as typical Is demonstrably fallacious." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Um, me, okay, I’m Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations and the time of your birth somehow effects your personality." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, yeah, a lot of people think I’m a water sign. Okay, let’s see, what else, oh, I’m a vegetarian, oh, except for fish, and the occasional steak, I love steak." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s interesting. Leonard can’t process corn." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where’s my notebook? My notebook’s gone. Oh, no." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, it’s just a notebook, what’s the big deal?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s the big deal? It’s full of classified information about the air force project." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Or I don’t cut it and maybe just style it a little." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’m in your hands. Do a good job and I’ll tell you Cosmo’s ten dynamite tips to enjoy your PMS." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, and there’s not even a bathroom on set. I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I could use your assistance." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, he’s all bent out of shape about having a roommate agreement meeting." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Apparently, perfect attendance isn’t cool any more." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. I’m uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton, who I assure you has better things to do." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I’m not recommending it. I’m saying it already happened." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s preposterous. Tell her, Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, no, no, it’s okay. You might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I must say, I’m shocked by this betrayal." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, hey, no, you don’t have to apologize. There’s no reason you have to tell me. I was just, you know, surprised." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, yes, you were busy, you were surprised, all very fascinating. Now where do we stand on the freezer?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Really doesn’t matter to me how much he spent on the ring. I think." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did I misspeak about the ring?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t we all stop hitting ourselves and talk about something safe, you know, like shoes or how cute little Chinese babies are." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is not my fault that your mother likes me better than she likes you." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "He’ll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good Lord. Padawan’s the student, not the teacher." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "The point is this could be nothing and we are all overreacting." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, everybody. This is my friend, Dr. Nowitzki." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You realise that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, I know, men can’t fly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh no, let’s assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Miss Lane, who is now travelling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, hey, and do yourself a favour, all right? When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night. All right? As far as you’re concerned, you don’t know anything, you didn’t see anything. I want you just to play dumb." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny. (Knock, knock, knock) Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, this is ridiculous. What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello, Penny. I realize you’re currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s great to see you too. Come on in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh. Bad move." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Really? Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My queen can now take your rook from below." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So that means I lose, right? It’s over?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If I make this move, but I won’t because we’re having too much fun." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, let’s take a break." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We’re all out of alcohol." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Shh! It’s my agent, it’s my agent. You’re kidding. Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe it! Really? Oh, I’m so excited, thank you, thank you so much. Okay, bye. I got the haemorrhoid commercial! I start Monday." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What about Nebraska?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, I will miss this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll tell you what, if my apples are mealy, we’ll hit the produce section for one last crazy blowout. Heck, you can even push the cart. Please don’t take my looking forward to Leonard’s return as criticism of the job you’ve been doing in his absence." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I won’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That criticism will come later in your report card." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A good wife would go to the store." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I want a divorce." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. On the way to see the lawyer, pick up some tea and cookies. I must say, I am enjoying your new chair." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s great, isn’t it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is. Aligns the lumbar, cradles the coccyx, balances the buttocks. This is a chair worthy of the name." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What name?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Chair." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, all right, well, I’m glad you like it. I mean, I still can’t get over the fact someone just threw it away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If we were an old married couple, the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t have iced tea and snickerdoodles." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A good wife would go to the store." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I want a divorce." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. On the way to see the lawyer, pick up some tea and cookies. I must say, I am enjoying your new chair." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "It’s great, isn’t it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is. Aligns the lumbar, cradles the coccyx, balances the buttocks. This is a chair worthy of the name." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What name?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Chair." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In order to live long enough to fuse my consciousness with cybernetics, I need to change my diet." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait. Cybernetics is robot stuff, right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Correct." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So you want to turn yourself into some sort of robot?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Essentially, yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, here’s my question. Didn’t you already do that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Flattering, but sadly, no. I’m also planning to begin an exercise regimen designed to strengthen my cardiovascular system. AKA jogging." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Correct." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "So you want to turn yourself into some sort of robot?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Essentially, yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, here’s my question. Didn’t you already do that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Flattering, but sadly, no. I’m also planning to begin an exercise regimen designed to strengthen my cardiovascular system. AKA jogging." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait. Honey,have you ever run before?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Certainly. I’ve run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens, and one particularly persistent P.E. teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alone?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What if I choke on my popcorn, who will administer the Heimlich manoeuvre." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well then don’t order popcorn." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No popcorn at the mo… listen to yourself." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well why don’t you go to a coffee shop." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t drink coffee." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "They have other things." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What do they have?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, you know, cookies, pastries…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Pastries such as bearclaws?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, sure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t like bearclaws." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course. Wouldn’t want to intrude. This is yours." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, when I’m done with him, I’m gonna need more information." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy’s nose in it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, look, I might be overreacting, but how am I supposed to get past this when I know tomorrow you’re gonna go to work and see this woman?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now, forgive me for eavesdropping, but as I see it, there’s a simple solution." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re welcome. Point of inquiry, why did you put your car key in the door lock?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why? I’ll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure…." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes, I can’t get my stupid door open." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You appear to have put your car key in the door lock, are you aware of that?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alright then. (Turns to return inside. One of the grocery bags Penny is holding falls to the floor spilling groceries.)" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alright then. (Turns to return inside. One of the grocery bags Penny is holding falls to the floor spilling groceries.)" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I can’t get the damned key out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well that’s not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagon uses a centre cylinder system." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Three bags, no one’s opened ’em. we’re the first ones here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s dirty laundry. You’re up." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What? Why me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because you’ve been training for this your whole life. You live in a pile of dirty laundry." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, it’s journals and research papers I wrote as a child." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Aw, how cute. Is this like a diary?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, that’s my potty training journal." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Really, your potty training journal?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah. And forgive my crude penmanship. I didn’t start typing until I was six." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "August 7, 8:42 a.m. This is humiliating. What was wrong with diapers?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There are some charts in the back where I kept track of shape, colour and consistency." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, hurry up and close the door so they can’t hear us. Would you stop pouting? So, you picked my name. Get over it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, and do you know what the odds are I’d pick your name?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not hard, one in five. Now you know why I’m pouting." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I spilled grape juice." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, wear different pyjamas." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t wear different pyjamas, these are my Monday pyjamas. Penny, people cannot be in my bedroom." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, just tell me, is it too soon to join a quest to the Black Castle?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You were invited on a quest to the Black Castle?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, yeah, by some guys in Budapest, I’m just not sure it’s the right move for my character." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course it’s not, you’re only a level 25, the Hungarians are just using you for dragon fodder." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Lot of big talk from a man who can’t draw a chocolate chip cookie." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, fine, pick another game. Amy and I will beat you at anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. Let’s play Physics Fiesta." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, come on, what is that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a game that I just invented, in which the participants answer physics questions in remedial Spanish. Um, ¿Dónde está el boson de Higgs?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait, hang on, you guys are gonna work in a mine?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps the emotion you’re referring to was shock at you having something cleaned." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. Excuse me. You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I didn’t tell you? You’re banished from the Cheesecake Factory." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, you have three strikes. One, coming in. Two, sitting down. And three, I don’t like your attitude." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t do that. Not only is it a violation of California state law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes, earlier this evening I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, mwah-ha-ha!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Get them down." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Apologize." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Never." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty pinata." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Great. I’ll see you later. And remember, he’s more afraid of you than you are of him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That doesn’t help." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "No, I was talking to the bird." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Go away, bird. (Knock, knock, knock) Go away, bird. (Knock, knock, knock) Go away, bird." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, you know what, I will tell you why it’s wrong…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, may I interject?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Biologically speaking, Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of his genetic line." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "This is getting old fast, Dolores, knock it off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, do you really think calling me names is helpful?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I do, your life is fine you big baby." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe you’re right." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Alright, remember when I auditioned for that workshop production of Rent, but I didn’t get it and I couldn’t figure out why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have a conclusion based on an observation." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah. So you have a song stuck in your head. It happens to everybody." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not everybody. I have an eidetic memory. I should be able to remember what song this is, but I can’t. Something’s wrong with me." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I told you if we were patient, he’d figure it out for himself." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was always afraid this day would come. This might be the first step of my descent into madness, where I gradually test the limits of public nudity." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, Leonard, the more I think about it, there are a number of mutually owned items in this apartment that you and I should go through. Uh, for example, who gets our beloved sword, Longclaw?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Why don’t you keep it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That seems fair, we did just give you the painting." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, I don’t need anything around that I can stab myself with." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wonderful, Longclaw is mine. And how about you keep our avocado plant?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Subtextually, of course. (There is a knock on the door.) Just have fun with it. (Opening door.) Morning Penny." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hi. How did the intervention go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unfortunately, we weren’t able to convince him to go to rehab." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, based on what you told me, I’m not surprised." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But we did convince him to leave the motel. Come say hello. Leo, this is Penny, our friend and neighbour." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. If you can’t get me to stop eating your food, what makes you think you can get me to stop using your Wi-Fi?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe that you’re capable of great change. Like when I finally got you to stop saying Valentimes Day." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, the flu I guess." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t need you to guess, I need you to know, now when did the symptoms first appear?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Maybe Friday." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Friday, was that morning or afternoon?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I… I don’t…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Think woman, who blew their nose and when?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "So I take it you don’t want to help us trim the tree." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I do not. But if you insist on decorating a spider-infested fire hazard in my home I would request that you add this." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re kidding, right? It’s a bust of Sir Isaac Newton." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, sure, sure, yeah. Very Christmassy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree." } ]