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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, look who’s here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Doctor Hofstadter, it’s so good to see you again." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Oh, whoa, whoa, how can it bea Mexican standoff? Everybody knows you need three sides for that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not necessarily. Uh, many argue the essence of a Mexican standoff is that no one can walk away from the conflict without incurring harm." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How many trains have you been on?" }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Tons. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. Now I just collect disability and ride trains." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wow. Your life’s amazing." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Hold on to your conductor’s hat. You crank the second and third axles, creating a pair of internal connecting rods, and boom, four-ten-four. If you think about it, the Q-2 was like the four-ten-four America never made." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I may never stop thinking about it. Amy, what are the odds we run into this guy?" } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "You know, if you ask nicely, they’ll let you visit the engine room." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I never want this day to end." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "But you ain’t getting your money back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re taking advantage of us? We clarified nomenclature together." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, he is. I’m a wedding planner who can’t find love himself. It’s ironic, but the point is we can’t trust you. You’re a sketchy character in a parking garage." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Yeah, well, from my perspective, that’s how you two appear to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I never thought of it like that. Boy, frame of reference will just sneak up on you, won’t it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Ah, no money, no helium. Seems we’re at a, uh, stalemate." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not technically. In chess, a stalemate refers to a situation in which there are no remaining moves. Uh, you have plenty of moves available. You could beat us up and steal the money. You could kill us, you know. Really, you’re only limited by your imagination." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not necessarily. Uh, many argue the essence of a Mexican standoff is that no one can walk away from the conflict without incurring harm." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Hmm, I don’t follow." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let me give you an example. Earlier today, I decoded the headers on your e-mail, and I know that your name is Kenneth Fitzgerald. From that, I figured out where you live and where you work. Now, to make this a Mexican standoff, I would say something like, uh, you give us the helium or I’ll turn you in to the authorities." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Ever since I was a kid, but, uh, I didn’t really get serious until William Shatner’s bladder infection." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’d you get? What’d you get?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Exactly what 1970s television crime dramas have taught us. You give us the helium first." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Oh, how do I know you’re not gonna drive away without paying me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Guess I’m not the only one who watches ’70s television crime dramas." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Hmm, I don’t follow." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let me give you an example. Earlier today, I decoded the headers on your e-mail, and I know that your name is Kenneth Fitzgerald. From that, I figured out where you live and where you work. Now, to make this a Mexican standoff, I would say something like, uh, you give us the helium or I’ll turn you in to the authorities." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Is that a threat?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, exactly. See, you’re getting it." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Is that a threat?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, exactly. See, you’re getting it." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Yeah, well, I know where you work, all right? And if you mess with me, I’ll report you, then I’ll pound your asses into the ground." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perfect. Now we really are in a Mexican standoff. Is this one of those times where I’ve won the battle but lost the war?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, thank you. Delivery men are the unsung foot soldiers of our nation’s commerce. It’s because of people like you, people like me can limit our human contact. I’d shake your hand, but, well, you know." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "I’m not a delivery man, I’m a doctor. Although I do often deliver alarming biopsy results to my patients." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s humorous." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I bet you leave your patients in stitches. That was also humorous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s humorous." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I bet you leave your patients in stitches. That was also humorous." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you bringing flowers to a patient to cushion the blow of a terminal diagnosis? That wasn’t a joke." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "All right. These are actually for a nice woman who makes sales calls to my office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm. You know, they have delivery people that will do that for you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, yeah, enough debate, I’m going to take action. (Leans over to a good looking man on a nearby table.) Excuse me, are you currently involved in a sexual relationship?" }, { "from": "Man", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would you like to be?" } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "No problem, but I am gonna have to charge you a small helium restocking fee." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "You guys missed a pretty great time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The conductor and I have the same pocket watch." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "It was crazy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dare I say loco? Oh, and, Amy, guess what? The conductor said as soon as he gets off work, he can come back to the bed and breakfast and play his banjo for us." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, excuse me, can I please see a show of hands? Who here takes issue with this person cutting the line?" }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Told you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, what a sad state of affairs. That you’ve all been so ground down by life, you don’t even notice when someone disrespects you." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Really? What’s the hypothesis?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Space-time can be interpreted as the surface of an n-dimensional superfluid." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You need to go to the back of the line." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Uh, who made you line monitor?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mrs. Wunch in fourth grade. And my slogan was a line that’s straight is a line that’s great." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Yeah, well, normally I wouldn’t, but my daughter’s having a sleepover, and there’s only so much screaming and Katy Perry a man can take." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Anyway, if you could just give us our money back, you can have your helium and we’ll be on our way." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you bringing flowers to a patient to cushion the blow of a terminal diagnosis? That wasn’t a joke." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "All right. These are actually for a nice woman who makes sales calls to my office." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm. You know, they have delivery people that will do that for you." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "I was hoping to impress her by tracking her down on the Internet and then showing up unannounced at her door." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Making the extra effort. Good for you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How is that possible? I’ve hardly spoken to you since we got on the train." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "I’m detecting a little friction between you two, and I don’t want to be a third rail. Get it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I get it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, uh, I couldn’t help but notice that you cut the line." }, { "from": "Man", "value": "Oh, uh, I’m with my friends. It’s cool." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, no. It’s not cool. If there were reserved seating, and we all had tickets, that would be fine. But this line is first-come, first-served. Not show up tardy and nevertheless be first served. Right here." } ]

[ { "from": "Man", "value": "Hi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, this is Tom." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "It’s called the Born Again Boat Ride. Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating, five thorny crowns. I do wish you’d come with me, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Mom, if I did, it would be conclusive proof that your God can work miracles." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, doctors are always changing their mind. One week bacon grease is bad for you. The next week we’re not getting enough of it. Good morning, Shelly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mom, I want to apologize for my behaviour last night." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Apology accepted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Great. Now, you’re going to love the Perlmutter lecture. Look, he will be stating that the universe is older than 6,000 years, but I thought you could stick your fingers in your ears and hum Amazing Grace during those parts." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "His name is Ron. I met him at my prayer group." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How long have you been involved with him?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "A few months." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "That is no way to speak to your mother." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps not. But it is a way to speak to a woman who quoted the Bible to me my whole life, and then desecrates one of Ethan Allen’s finest sofas." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I will give you one opportunity, young man, to apologize." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Or what?" } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I will give you one opportunity, young man, to apologize." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Or what?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Or I will send you to your room." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s ridiculous. I am a grown man. I am a professional scientist. And I currently occupy the moral high ground." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Go to your room." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I occupy the moral high ground." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Go to your room." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I’m a professional scientist." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Shelly, I’m so glad you’re here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I saw you having naked sex." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "What are you talking about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Earlier, I came here to surprise you. I looked in the window and I saw you with a man." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, Shelly, I’m so sorry. Come in. Um, maybe we should sit down and talk about this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can you recommend a surface you haven’t had coitus on?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "That’s not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table. Well, I’m sure that, uh, you have a lot of questions." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who was he?" } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, he was a handful." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was a handful." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, but you’re not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk, it means you want me to listen." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Then stop talking." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, ma’am." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Now, the reason I called Amy over was to find out what type of person she is. And after chatting a bit, I have to say that while she is a perfectly unique young woman, you two are definitely not suited for each other." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a peculiar conclusion. By any standard, Amy is more similar to me than anyone I’ve ever met." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Now, the reason I called Amy over was to find out what type of person she is. And after chatting a bit, I have to say that while she is a perfectly unique young woman, you two are definitely not suited for each other." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a peculiar conclusion. By any standard, Amy is more similar to me than anyone I’ve ever met." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, I’m sorry, Shelly, I can’t see it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, whether you see it or not is irrelevant. I can’t see subatomic particles, but nevertheless, they’re there." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Well, putting aside the pig Latin, it’s a good thing that you two decided to end the relationship so I didn’t have to end it for you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy, after consideration, I believe we may have acted rashly. I propose we resume our relationship and attempt to resolve our differences." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, that’s a funny turn, isn’t it? You never think about it going the other way. Well, you can’t force things. You need to figure out if you’re in a relationship or if you’re just calling it one. It’s like they say, a cat can have kittens in the oven but that don’t make ’em biscuits." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And that reminds me of another saying. You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can’tmake your mother fry it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m glad we’re finally getting to do something together, just the two of us." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Sure. One thing you really miss when you’re on vacation is laundry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Careful, you’re using too much Downey. You know if my clothes get too soft it makes me sleepy." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Well, this takes me back. Me doing your laundry, you next to me criticizing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is nice, isn’t it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mom, I want to apologize for my behaviour last night." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Apology accepted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Great. Now, you’re going to love the Perlmutter lecture. Look, he will be stating that the universe is older than 6,000 years, but I thought you could stick your fingers in your ears and hum Amazing Grace during those parts." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I am still going out with your friends." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I apologized. And that was hard for me because I didn’t do anything wrong." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I am still going out with your friends." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I apologized. And that was hard for me because I didn’t do anything wrong." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Shelly, I hung out with you in enough dusty lecture halls while you were growing up. I want to go sightseeing. So why don’t you have some pancakes, get dressed and come with us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not going, and you can’t make me." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "You’re right, I can’t. Have a nice day." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m going to stand here until you change your mind." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then buckle up, in the next four to eight days she’s going to get very crabby." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, well I’m not a child, I’m a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit. And I certainly don’t need someone telling on me to my mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve got a treat for us tomorrow, Mom. I’m taking you to see Saul Perlmutter give a lecture about his Nobel Prize-winning work in cosmology. And the best part is, at the Q and A afterward, I’ve worked up a couple of Q’s that will stump his sorry A." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I don’t know, Shelly. I thought we could do a little sightseeing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What sight is better than your little boy embarrassing a Nobel laureate?" } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Let’s go, baby, we’re losing daylight." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Um, as you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, when I called you an idiot. And I just wanted to say that I was wrong. To point it out." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, good. I’ve been praying for you. Oh, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are they doing here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, God bless you, dear. Sheldon, sit down. Let’s talk." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, but you’re not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk, it means you want me to listen." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Then stop talking." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, ma’am." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "It was good. The only thing that would have made it better is if it was cooked and if it was beef. Sheldon, when is your landlord going to fix the elevator?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know. Lately we’ve been talking about converting it into a missile silo." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes, born alone, die alone. It’s a tragic human condition. Now, Raj, if you’ll excuse my mother, she’s about to make a pecan pie that’ll be so good I’ll almost forget how she blew it with the fried chicken." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Sheldon, your friend is hurtin’. What do we do when someone’s hurtin’?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Offer them a hot beverage." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "And when they’re drunk as a skunk, what beverage do we offer?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Coffee." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t believe my own mother is abandoning me." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "I am not abandoning you. Sheldon, abandoning you is leaving you in a basket on a church doorstep. I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We appear to be at a crossroads in our relationship, Mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, Shelly, I’m so sorry. Come in. Um, maybe we should sit down and talk about this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can you recommend a surface you haven’t had coitus on?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "That’s not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table. Well, I’m sure that, uh, you have a lot of questions." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who was he?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "His name is Ron. I met him at my prayer group." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How long have you been involved with him?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "A few months." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I had just begun puberty. It was figuratively and literally one of the hairiest moments of my life." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Shelly does not like change." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, true. But all the clenching in the world will not keep testicles in your abdomen." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Sheldon, he’s just doodling, get in here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dr Gablehouser." } ]

[ { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Oh, you got yourself a loom, how nice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Honey, why did you get a loom?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was working with luminous fish, and I thought, hey, loom! Mom, what are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Mrs Cooper", "value": "Leonard called me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know, but why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You realize, Penny, that the technology that went into this arm will one day make unskilled food servers such as yourself obsolete." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Really? They’re going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I thought you broke up with her. Why is she here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And here’s another interesting weather fact." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Another? Great." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Changes in jet streams can affect the speed at which the Earth rotates on its axis, so bad weather can actually make the day longer." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, there must be a hell of a storm somewhere." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Joke if you must, but you’re going to miss these moments. With Leonard home in a few days, this was your last time driving me to the grocery store." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sorry!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am glad you asked. Are you familiar with the Higgs boson?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Of course, it is, it’s been in the news. And it’s a very famous boson." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nice try. Now, in 1964, Dr. Peter Higgs, accomplished self-promoter and physicist, he wrote a paper postulating the existence of a subatomic particle called the Higgs boson. Now, initially the paper was rejected, but recently, he was proven right, and now he’s on the fast track to win a Nobel prize." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ignore them, Amy. They’re just jealous because they’ll never have a relationship as good as ours." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Isn’t this when he says bazooka or something?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wasn’t making a joke, I was merely stating fact. Amy and I have a superior relationship to yours." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, Sheldon, you’re always full of fun little facts. Where did the expression got your ass handed to you come from?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t know." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I wonder if it’s from, like, ancient Rome where they’d actually chop somebody’s ass off and then go, here. You know, to appease Loseroneous, the god of losers." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am not a loser. Pictionary is not a true test of any real intelligence or skill." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let’s see. (Rolls dice) Snake eyes. Sorry, bud." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Wait, hang on. Doubles. Roll again." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, get this. It doesn’t matter if he’s showering her with gifts, because the Koothrappalis are vastly wealthy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What do you mean, vastly wealthy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more. I’m not sure what’s tripping you up." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ubif Lubenubard tubold hubim, ubit’s pubossubibuble." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, wait, stop that." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. The charm of your drug addled candour knows no bounds." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "You know, people think you’re this weird robot man who’s so annoying all the time, and you totally are, but then it’s like that movie Wall-E at the end. You’re so full of love, and you can save a plant and get fat people out of the floaty chairs." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a fairly laboured metaphor, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Sing “Soft Kitty” to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "“Soft Kitty” is for when you’re sick. You’re not sick." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s what makes their friendship unlikely," }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, what’s with all the yelling?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard disproved my element. Now all the attention is going to go away." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, that’s great. You must be thrilled," }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s it, I’m down to seven friends." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "He’s counting hobbits and superheroes, right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I thought the element was real, I didn’t want it. But now that Leonard made it not exist, I want it more than anything in the world." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, I always tear up when the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Basketball Pope." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And that’s how it’s done." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Good for you, sweetie. Okay, next question. What is the quantum mechanical effect used to encode data on hard disk drives? Howard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And of course, the answer is giant magneto resistance." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay. What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einsteins predicted frame dragging? (Raj buzzes.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And of course it’s Gravity Probe B." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Even Doctor Who." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, that’s it. Who Con, you’re out." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "No! I don’t want to try it, my God, you are grown men, how could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes and comic books and… and now that… that…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Again, time machine." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh please, it’s not a time machine, if anything it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It only moves in time. It would be worse than useless in a swamp." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shelly! Shelly, how many times have I told you not to leave your sciencey stuff out on the porch? Goodness, I’ll never understand that boy. But then again, I’m a religious nut, and my mind is closed to so many things." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Glory be to Heaven, some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air. George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon that ain’t foolin’ no one, and get your shotgun!" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Glory be to Heaven, some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air. George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon that ain’t foolin’ no one, and get your shotgun!" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Greetings, Mary Cooper. I am Spock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I just don’t buy it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Just keep going!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, my, your sudden appearance startles me." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, okay, let’s try that last line again, and this time, maybe try choking up a little." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, you’re losing your son." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but he’s going to a better place where he won’t get beat up. So much." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, come on, just try it my way. Pretend you’re sad to see him go. I’m gonna lead you in. His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy. That’s your cue." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I just love that line. Even the way you do it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, come on, just try it my way. Pretend you’re sad to see him go. I’m gonna lead you in. His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy. That’s your cue." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I just love that line. Even the way you do it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, come on, come on. Put some real emotion into it. Blah-blah, blah, blah, vast and troubled galaxy. Go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Shelly? A man’s here to take you away to the future. Be sure to pack clean underwear." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I just love that line. Even the way you do it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "All right, come on, come on. Put some real emotion into it. Blah-blah, blah, blah, vast and troubled galaxy. Go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Shelly? A man’s here to take you away to the future. Be sure to pack clean underwear." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s good. That’s good. That’s good." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mommy, why are you crying? ‘Cause I’m gonna miss you, Shelly-bean, even though you creep the bejeezus out of me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I didn’t care for it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is an American classic." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So is the McRib sandwich. I don’t care for that, either." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Fine. What would you rather do as a scene study?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m glad you asked. I took the liberty of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella I wrote when I was ten into a one-act play." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "And you think it’s better than Tennessee Williams?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why don’t we leave that for future generations to decide?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alright, let’s dispense with the friendly banter, I believe you know why I’m here." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I’m here in the laundry room." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Well, not to steal from the Bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think you’re taking this seriously." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Come on, I’m just having some fun with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe what you’re doing is using humour to avoid vulnerability." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Fine. Honestly, if I could have one quality, I wish I could be as smart as you guys." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ha. Keep dreaming." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Who’s Adam West?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who’s Adam West? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it, it was just too much." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It’ll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know that you worked hard to put this together. I’m sorry I’m ruining it." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It’ll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know that you worked hard to put this together. I’m sorry I’m ruining it." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, pl, you’re not ruining it. Look, at some point, Raj will try to get everyone to do the Electric Slide. Now, that will ruin it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think I can go back out there." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, new salon topic. Salons, dumb thing from a long time ago or interesting thing made dumb by talking about superheroes? Discuss." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t believe it matters what the topic is. What’s crucial for a salon is that we conduct the discussion in an elevated and insightful way. It’s all about the execution." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s no reason to back out. You know, I once got a pretty big honour in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, but I went through with it, and you know what? The world looked pretty darn good sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 as a member of the Corn Queen’s court." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Yeah, I’ll bear that in mind if I’m ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, unbelievable! Know how he did it yet?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Um…" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Hey, I think I know how you did the card trick." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, oh, please, if I don’t know, you don’t know. That’s axiomatic." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "We were all thinking it, really. It was kind of the elephant in the room, so…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Anyway, um, I realized that if we each present you with an account of what your father wrote to you, only one of which is true, and then we don’t tell you which one it is, you will forever be in a state of epistemic ambivalence." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, they’re all up there, huh? Hmm, typical." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s axiomatically atypical. Up until recently, they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her in a previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants, so your characterization of their behaviour as typical Is demonstrably fallacious." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, now I see the giant squid head. (Leaves)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, great! now, I have to start all over again. (Rubs out imaginary workings)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Attention, all bowlers. I’ve taken the liberty of having these made for our rematch." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "The Wesley Crushers?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, not the Wesley Crushers. The Wesley “Crushers.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Still don’t get it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a blindingly clever play on words. By appropriating his character’s name and adding the S, we imply that we we’ll be the crushers of Wesley." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I’m sorry, honey, but the Wesley Crushers sounds like a bunch of people who like Wesley Crusher." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What? No! Again, it’s not the Wesley Crushers. It’s the Wesley “Crushers.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh-oh. Someone’s got two dates to the nerd prom." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have a plan to work on both projects simultaneously. And for your information, the summer conference on algebraic topology at Caltech is nerd prom." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "I don’t know, he’s 13. Just pick out anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just pick out anything? Maybe at the same time we can pick out a new suit for him without knowing his size, or pick out his career for him without knowing his aptitude, or pick out a new breakfast cereal without knowing his fibre requirements or his feelings about little marshmallows." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Spider-Man. Get him Spider-Man." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amazing Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, The Marvelous Adventures of Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2099?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Unlikely. Here, what about this one for my nephew?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A superb choice." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh, great." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, provided he has already read Infinite Crisis and 52, and is familiar with the re-establishment of the DC multiverse." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "What’s a multiverse?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Get her out of here." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yeah, it was fun, I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well this calls for an expression of gratitude." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not this time. Then they wouldn’t be special. Thanks Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Eh, his giant head did most of the work." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very mature. You’re lucky I’m out of silly string. As I was saying, Leonard, you’ll never guess who I just found online. Professor Proton." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes! Sorry, tell me about Professor Proton." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Professor Proton hosted my favourite science show when I was a child. I never missed an episode. He demonstrated scientific principles using everyday objects." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Aw, so cute when you use the word cool wrong. Like when kids say pasghetti." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, dear lord, Leonard, look. He’s still available for parties and events. We should hire him." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "And for the world’s tallest second grader, apple juice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. No bendy straw, some party." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Helium." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Taylor Swift." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes. Pi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Kardashian." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "More specific." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Khloe?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "See, I remembered because if it looks like Kim it’s Kim, if it looks kind of like Kim it’s Kourtney, and if it looks nothing like Kim it’s Khloe." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Monkeys." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When does a monkey have a trunk?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "When a suitcase just won’t do." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mmm, all right. It would appear as if alcohol is playing keep-away with your intelligence. Good night. Please note, it is now past ten p.m. Per our roommate agreement, kindly refrain from raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, and celebratory gunfire." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "A marathon? Wow, how many Superman movies are there?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re kidding, right?" } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe burger?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can’t we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, in a world that already includes the Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?" }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Because you are not at Big Boy!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine, I’ll have the Barbecue Burger." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "Oh ha-ha, oh. That’s amazing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wouldn’t say amazing. At best, it’s a modest leap forward from the basic technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree." } ]

[ { "from": "Penny", "value": "That’s so cool. Congratulations. I guess that makes you the athlete of the group." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, not just him. May I remind you that you’re talking to the seeker, beater, chaser and water boy of the third place Griffith Park Quidditch team." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, well, then I guess it doesn’t matter which one of you drives me. Let’s play a fun guessing game to see who gets to take me. All right, this four-letter word describes either a printer’s type size or a compulsion to eat dirt." }, { "from": "Penny", "value": "Okay, I’m not driving him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Penny, don’t give up, you can get this." } ]