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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, what are you going to do, Sheldon, give up?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. That’s what a rational person does when his entire life’s work is invalidated by a post-pubescent Asian wunderkind. He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research, and he waits to die." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, but hear me out. The atomic bomb was The Manhattan Project. Windows 95 was originally Project Chicago. For our app, I would humbly suggest Project Nodlehs." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s just Sheldon backwards." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Another happy accident." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We’re not wasting time with names right now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see. Is that decision open for discussion?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is the decision to not discuss it open for discussion?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, we have to call it off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We don’t have that option, we’ve accepted the challenge. We can’t run away from a fight." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, please, we’ve spent our whole lives running away from fights. Personally, I can squeeze through a hole in a fence half my size." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Impressive as that may be, Monte is not us. Monte has no fear." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Neat. Good work. Sheldon, we’ve got to call this off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Leonard. For years, merciless thugs like Kripke have made my life a series of painful noogies and humiliating wedgies and the insensitively named Indian burns. That stops now." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know what? You think you’re so tolerant, but the truth is you’re mean to me a lot. Yeah, you think that I don’t notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. Hmm? I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’ve been holding a lot of this in for a while." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m sorry, too. And if you want to live with Penny, then I think you should." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’ve been holding a lot of this in for a while." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m sorry, too. And if you want to live with Penny, then I think you should." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you mean that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Yeah, just put on your squeaky shoes and eee-eee-eee your way out of my life." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, don’t get upset." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not upset. I’m just imagining a world without my best friend in it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you mean that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Yeah, just put on your squeaky shoes and eee-eee-eee your way out of my life." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, don’t get upset." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not upset. I’m just imagining a world without my best friend in it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not leaving your world. I’m just talking about living across the hall." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I understand. Either way, I want you to know that I’m aware of how difficult I can be. So I just want to say thank you for putting up with me." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Is it my turn to talk about the compromises I make?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wasn’t done, but go ahead. He said, compromising." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because of you, I’m not allowed to adjust the temperature in my own home. I’m not allowed to whistle. I don’t wear shoes that might squeak." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you’re a physicist, not a circus clown." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, do you realize I don’t live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that true?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you’re a physicist, not a circus clown." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, do you realize I don’t live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that true?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, it’s true. The last time I brought it up, you had an emotional breakdown and got on a train and ran away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, given my history on the subject, t seems a little reckless to bring it up now." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s an outrage." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The university, they think they can do whatever they want. We just have to sit there and take it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You need to let it go, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You work tirelessly for someone, and this is what you get." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, my God, they’re just making you use your vacation days." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I don’t want a vacation." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what, do I need to quote Spock’s dying words to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, don’t." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "For some reason, we’re planning a future where we both live with Sheldon forever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. Now we’re getting somewhere." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And of course it’s Gravity Probe B." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing. Just wanted to see if you were both okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We’re fine, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, then. Good night." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m making friends with this little girl. What’s your name?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe we’re better off. What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look at us, Sheldon. We’re the crazy people." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, perhaps we should hold up a sign that assures passing motorists of our mental competence." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I heard a noise." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It was us. We knocked over a lamp." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would you knock over a lamp?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, your food’s getting cold." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll eat later. Right now, I’m suckling at the informative bosom of mother physics." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, would you be prepared, on a non-precedential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc Slurpie-Icee equivalency?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, you know I can’t do that." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, this is superfluid helium. Put this in your mouth, your tongue will freeze and break off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Does it smell like blueberries?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then we’re probably okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who wrote that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s anonymous, and user name General Relativity." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m responding to it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, don’t lower yourself to their level." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Look, I am simply going to defend our work, scientist to scientist. And failing that, suggest that his mother enjoys a string of both human and non-human lovers." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, my name’s on that paper, too. There’s no upside to doing this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He just left another comment." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t remember me? How could he not remember me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, not now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I remember him." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, are you going to introduce us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, alright, this is Missy, Missy this is Leonard and Rajesh and you’ve already met Howard." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, that seemed a little farfetched." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve lived up to all my commitments under the agreement. At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don’t care. I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 pm And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hell, no!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, can I interject something. I’m ordering pizza online, is everyone okay with pepperoni?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, can I talk to you in private?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I guess. Don’t worry, I was going to order you cheeseless." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s okay. Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "‘Sup?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, did you ever make it to the dentist?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not necessary. No. I found a service that’ll send a van to your house for a teeth cleaning. Mostly they cater to dogs, but the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, if you need me to take you to the dentist, I will take you to the dentist." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you suggesting that you’ve come to your senses and wish to re-establish the mutual benefits that stem from full participation in the roommate agreement?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This has nothing to do with religion. This has to do with the fact that you’re a tiny, tiny man who still lives with his mother." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Am I? Here. Eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said to myself, I think I can, I think I can. And then I couldn’t, so I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us to make the guidance system smaller, and we can’t do it without you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. Well, so I was right." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I would love to help you, but since I discovered the satisfaction of working with my hands on a train engine, I don’t think I can go back to theory. I’m an engineer now. And, hey, just to be clear, a train engineer. Not that goofy kind you are." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you can still go on the trip in a few weeks. Just help us out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry. I need to work on this engine so when I get to the train yard I won’t look foolish." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t need to see your presentation. This discussion is over!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a somewhat ambiguous response. Am I going or not?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, at this point, I would go by myself before I would take you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, really." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then, you leave me no alternative. From this moment forward, we can be roommates, but we will no longer be friends." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry you feel that way." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think you’re fully aware of the ramifications here, Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I thought you said candles were dangerous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is a Bunsen burner. I’m a scientist, I know what I’m doing. Oh, drat. (His s’more is on fire. He dunks it in a glass of water.) Aw. It took me a gallon of urine to make that water." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid. I don’t see why we can’t be friends. And I’m willing to drive you around and help you out with stuff. I just don’t want to do it because of some silly roommate agreement." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are you proposing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I need to talk to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, my friend. Would you like some cholermus?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Some what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Cholermus. It’s a traditional Swiss breakfast dish. I’m preparing my gastrointestinal system for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re not going to Switzerland!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, but I am. Didn’t Penny tell you the good news?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She told me that you went behind my back to guilt her into letting you go instead of her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, that good news." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid. I don’t see why we can’t be friends. And I’m willing to drive you around and help you out with stuff. I just don’t want to do it because of some silly roommate agreement." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What are you proposing?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That we go back to the way things were. But when I do something for you, you show a little appreciation." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And how would I do that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You say thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Every time?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe this will overcome your reluctance. I went on the Internet and found a photograph of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham to get your libido humming. Check out those saddle shoes. Rar!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you insane? I’m not going to prostitute myself just so we can get some new equipment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, come on! Why not?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good night, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Given how much time you spend engaging in pointless self-abuse, you might consider, just this once, using your genitalia to actually accomplish something!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really. Who do you think did that, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I don’t know. But whoever that mystery man was, you should be eternally grateful, for without him, there would be no Leonard’s Day." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "May I say something?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Not right now, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I think it would be comforting." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, more cutbacks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unacceptable. It baffles me why they don’t simply let some of you go so that there’s money available for my research." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what baffles me, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Based on your academic record, any number of things, I would imagine." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, there are a million great vacations you could take. What about Hawaii?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hawaii is a former leper colony on top of an active volcano where the disappointing ending to Lost was filmed. Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, everybody takes vacations." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "One time they tried to make Richard Feynman take a vacation, but he chose instead to expand his mind and learn something new. He went to work in his friend’s biology lab. Richard Feynman was a famous American physicist, part of the Manhattan Project." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon! How was the comic book store?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. The new issue of Flash is out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Great, great. Did you walk the whole way? It’s a little chilly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Koothrappali picked me up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Isn’t that terrific? He is such a good friend. You know what the best thing about friends is?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "They don’t talk incessantly for no particular reason." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re too close to it, but Amy has had a huge impact on you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re right. Without realizing it, I’ve allowed that woman to alter my personality." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Mm, Sheldon, you didn’t have a personality, you just had some shows you liked." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. No, I’ve changed. Like the frog who’s put in a pot of water that’s heated so gradually he doesn’t realize he’s boiling to death." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really? Great. Sheldon, look. Good as new." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "From that key maker, I highly doubt it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because we don’t throw parties." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know what to tell you, Sheldon. I’m going to see Priya. Everyone’s over there. You coming or not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, no, sir, and do you know why? In a word, tradition. Every Thursday night for the last eight years, you and I and our friends have gathered here in this very spot to break bread covered with cheese and sauce, discuss the issues of the day, and yes, share a laugh or two. But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No. Which will make me miserable, which is usually Sheldon’s job." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She’s gonna hate waiting in line for the panels." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s over the wheelbase. Are you completely unfamiliar with the suspension characteristics of a pre-1980 Pullman-built Superliner Deluxe passenger coach?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, we’ve been on this train 90 seconds, and you’ve already said a thousand words. Just tell us where to sit and shut up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here. I’m hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards of the steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails, your sour disposition will abate." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What’s the matter?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I forgot my flash drive." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So we have to go back." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, I’m going to say why and your answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t understand. My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical probes of M-theory effects in the early universe that I was going to give to George Smoot at the conference." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why do you have to give your paper to George Smoot?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s brilliant. He needs to read it." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, this is one-on-one. First person to five wins the office. Any questions? Yes, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Five what?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, Sheldon, I was up in the administration office, and I happened to overhear the name of the winner of this year’s Chancellor’s Award for Science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And you want to rub my nose in the fact that my contributions are being overlooked again? I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics. All right, I’ll play. What self-important, preening fraud are they honouring this year?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I’m so glad you asked it like that. You." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I won?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re not Mr. D’Onofrio. I get my hair cut by Mr. D’Onofrio. You believe this guy?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse us for a second. Sheldon, it’s okay, he can do it. He’s a barber." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s not a barber, he’s the nephew. He’s an example of the kind of nepotism that runs rampant in the barbering industry. Besides, Mr. D’Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done because he has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse us for a second. Sheldon, it’s okay, he can do it. He’s a barber." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s not a barber, he’s the nephew. He’s an example of the kind of nepotism that runs rampant in the barbering industry. Besides, Mr. D’Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done because he has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are you talking about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I first moved here I was nervous about finding a new barber, so my mother had all my haircut records sent here to Mr. D’Onofrio." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To paraphrase T.S. Eliot, this is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a nephew." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re a grown man, he’s a professional, and your haircut is number three on that poster from 1946. Just sit down and let him do it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine, but if I come out of this looking like a dork, it’s on you. (Sits)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can you pass the Parmesan cheese?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sure. What are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m trying to get the hair out of my eyes." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you are one day late for your haircut." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you for captioning my nightmare." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, what kind of things are they… (to Sheldon) will you stop that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t help it, I feel like a teen heartthrob." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mother, warrior-princess, franchise owner, I hear glass ceilings shattering all over town." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re always saying how much smarter you are than me. Spend five seconds and come up with one idea on how to get more women into science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All your ideas address the issue at a university level. By then it’s too late. You need to design an outreach program that targets girls at the middle school level and sets them on an academic track towards the hard sciences." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re always saying how much smarter you are than me. Spend five seconds and come up with one idea on how to get more women into science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All your ideas address the issue at a university level. By then it’s too late. You need to design an outreach program that targets girls at the middle school level and sets them on an academic track towards the hard sciences." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s actually good. Why didn’t I think of that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Some people are otters, some people are rocks." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but, um, here in town we don’t churn our own butter, we don’t, uh, make dresses out of gunny sacks, and, uh, we sure as shootin’ don’t get our hair cut by bottle-blonde…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, be nice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, it’s the bad boy attitude that comes with this hair." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Yeah, I’ll bear that in mind if I’m ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re being ridiculous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Am I? Let me tell you a story." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Or, if we ended up making money from this, Sheldon and I could split our shares with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To be clear, Leonard is referring to the gyroscope, not the T-shirt and mugs. Oh, now they own the mugs." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, we still have 380 of these things to make." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have complete faith that you will make them. Good night." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello, Leonard, do you like my bongos? Bet you didn’t know that I had bongos." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, it’s three o’clock in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Three in the morning is a good time for bongos." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I was sleeping." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard sleeps while I play bongos." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, he doesn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard no sleep while I play bongos. Bongo solo." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny meant if he were a purple leprechaun. Penny forgot to use the subjunctive." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, go to bed. You have work in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow I start a bongo band and tour the world." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "W-w-wuh, no, no, hang on,uh, uh, roommate agreement. No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after ten p.m." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Roommate agreement? Are you kidding? We are living in a world of chaos. Roommate agreement." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, please, we’re facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, it’s not that bad." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not bad? It’s horrible. I mean, you hear stories about this sort of thing, but you never think it’ll happen to you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We’ll miss you, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made up monsters. That’s for babies." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was a map leading to the lost treasure of famous pirate One-Eyed Willy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, it’s not your fault. I’ve been to the model train store. I’ve been to Radio Shack. This woman is impossible to shop for." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’d make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems if I wasn’t in shock that Sheldon has girl problems." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Leonard, go ahead and mock. Like my daddy always said, Shelly, women aren’t anything but flippin’ pains in the bottom." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s what your father used to say?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I took out the bad words and the yeehaw, but you get the gist." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that your answer or do you not understand the question? We’ll come back to that one." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on. Are you now or have you ever been a salsa, Irish folk or break-dancer?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, where have you been?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard. If I was prone to sarcasm, I’d say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I meant, golly, Sheldon, you’ve been gone a long time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy. They made me reveal confidential information about Howard’s father." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard. If I was prone to sarcasm, I’d say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I meant, golly, Sheldon, you’ve been gone a long time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid by Penny, Bernadette and Amy. They made me reveal confidential information about Howard’s father." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What information?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t tell you that. I am bound by closet organizer/organizee confidentiality." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, let’s go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Coming." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you Todd Zarnecki?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just sit somewhere else." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. (Wanders in circles, looking lost.)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, sit!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aaah!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well this is nice. We don’t have a lot of company over." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s not true. Koothrapali and Wolowitz come over all the time." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes I now, but…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tuesday night we played Klingon boggle until one in the morning." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, I remember." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I resent you saying we don’t have company." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That is an antisocial implication." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hi, I’m Leonard, this is Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m Leonard, this is Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "From the intercom." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What do you think about it, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Meh." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How about it, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What do you think I should do?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Certainly. It’s not like I have to moderate my food intake because I’m planning on eating again very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I asked if you were in the shower, but that’s moot now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I can’t hear you, I’m in the shower." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What kind of emergency?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mathematical. 32-ounce banana smoothie, 16-ounce bladder." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You might not want to do that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I assure you I do." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not alone in here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, okay, okay. Uh, we, we get it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps you’d prefer this one. The itsy bitsy spider is not an insect at all, because it haseight legs and two body parts." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s pretty cool, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Do either of you know Beyoncé? I’d love her to get behind it." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Morning, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good, you’re up. I’ve written a new and improved roommate agreement that benefits me greatly. I’d like you to sign it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why would I want to do that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excellent question. Do you remember what happened to the alien, played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin, in the Star Trek episode Let That Be Your Last Battlefield?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, we’re only watching Game of Thrones. A party sub implies it’s a party." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Your attendance implies it’s not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn’t like a party. Oh, by the way, don’t forget, tomorrow is our quarterly roommate agreement meeting." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, we don’t need a meeting every three months." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm? Well, it sounds like the kind of thing one would bring up at a quarterly roommate agreement meeting. Lucky for you it’s tomorrow." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn’t like a party. Oh, by the way, don’t forget, tomorrow is our quarterly roommate agreement meeting." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, we don’t need a meeting every three months." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm? Well, it sounds like the kind of thing one would bring up at a quarterly roommate agreement meeting. Lucky for you it’s tomorrow." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, you know what? I’m not going." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you have to go. It’s Penny’s first time leading the Pledge of Allegiance." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, which he rudely announced on my flag show. People were so upset about it no one else called in the rest of the night." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Vocal test. Morning vocal test. Second vocal test. Second morning vocal test." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Morning, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Morning." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, one second." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m trying to shoot." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Doubleazinga! I do! Good luck following that." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, let’s go!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To a hospital? Full of sick people? Oh, I don’t think so." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because in the frigid temperatures in the Arctic, we need to consume at least 5,000 calories a day just to maintain our body weight." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you know I can’t eat butter. I’m lactose intolerant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Way ahead of you, that’s an “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” stick." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re being silly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Am I? Yesterday I had an Air Force project, a girlfriend who lived with me, and my good friend Raj right across the hall." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you really care about that last one?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, but that list was sounding a little thin." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Instead of dwelling on the negative, think about this. Your girlfriend was given an amazing opportunity, which gives you an opportunity to show her that you’re a loving and supportive boyfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So trick her." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You tracked my phone?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Boy, you chase one balloon for three miles." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, if you really need to do this, I’m not gonna stand in your way." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I do." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I will." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Bye, buddy. Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m gonna miss you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course you are." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what channel is NASA TV?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "289, right between the Game Show Network at 288 and the East coast feed of the Disney Channel on 290." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Knowing Sheldon, nothing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, tell me about your scalar dark energy experiment." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you for the invitation, but I have to decline because it doesn’t sound like something I’ll enjoy." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Sheldon, it’ll be fun." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s what you said about The Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Um, can I have your attention, everyone? (Clinks glass) That’s, uh, B-flat, for those who don’t have perfect pitch. I would like to propose a toast to my best friend, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. He has been presented with a wonderful opportunity, and I couldn’t be happier for him." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you, Sheldon. That must’ve been very hard for you to say." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I mean it. I’m really happy for you. And that’s how you get a toothpaste commercial. Cheers." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Dad, you remember Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dr. Hofstadter." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you’re never getting married? It’s his whining, isn’t it?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not a whiner." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s amusing that he doesn’t hear it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well they don’t. Hard as it may be for you to believe, most people don’t sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fibre content." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, but I think we’ve both found that helpful at times." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, we should go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Straightening up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, this is not your home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is not anyone’s home, this is a swirling vortex of entropy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, but I think we’ve both found that helpful at times." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, we should go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Straightening up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, this is not your home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is not anyone’s home, this is a swirling vortex of entropy." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "When the transvestite lived here, you didn’t care how he kept the place." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because it was immaculate, I mean, you open that man’s closet, it was left to right, evening gowns, cocktail dresses, then his police uniforms." } ]