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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "There’s beer in the fridge. Anyway, you guys really don’t need to make a big deal." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, you’re being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we’ll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We’re gonna set a date." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. If you say so." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s not just the date. We haven’t talked about anything. Big wedding, small wedding, indoor, outdoor?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Outdoor? Oh. I can RSVP no right now." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m in. Let’s do it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "After all these years. I’m really happy for the two of you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, her apartment’s on the fourth floor but the elevator’s broken so you’re going to have to (delivery man leaves) oh, you’re just going to be done, okay, cool, thanks. I guess we’ll just bring it up ourselves." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I hardly think so." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, we don’t have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper body strength." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t want my job back. I’ve spent the last three and a half years staring at greaseboards full of equations. Before that I spent four years working on my thesis. Before that I was in college, and before that, I was in the fifth grade. This is my first day off in decades, and I’m going to savour it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay. I’ll let you get back to fixing your eggs." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not just fixing my eggs, I’m fixing everyone’s eggs." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay. I’ll let you get back to fixing your eggs." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not just fixing my eggs, I’m fixing everyone’s eggs." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And we all thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Use new eggs. (There is a knock on the door) ." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you, I’ll see you at work." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh-duh, hold on, hold on!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So we made you an appointment, and we want you to keep it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Department of motor vehicles new driver handbook? But I don’t have a problem." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m confused. If there’s no costume parade, what are we doing here?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We’re socialising. Meeting new people." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Telepathically?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If we’re all through playing mock the flawed technology, can we get on with Halo night, we were supposed to start at eight, it is now 8:06." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So? We’ll start now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, first we have to decide if those lost six minutes will be coming out of game time, bathroom time or the pizza break." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes, but on a more serious note it’s 8:13 and we’re still not playing Halo." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, fine, we’ll just play one on one until he gets back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "One on one? We don’t play one on one, we play teams, not one on one. One on one!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s engaging in reductio-ad-absurdum. It’s the logical fallacy of extending someone’s argument to ridiculous proportions and then criticising the result, and I do not appreciate it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, well since I’m obviously being ignored here, let’s go over the morning schedule, I use the bathroom from 7 to 7:20, plan your ablutions and bodily functions accordingly." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Here’s an idea, why don’t we just go out for Indian food." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Libido 1, truth zero." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I’m going to ask you one more time, we did the work together, lets present the paper together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I’m telling you for the last time it’s pandering, it’s undignified and bite me." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Bite me. Sheldon, how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Today, it’s a Chinese food retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and tries to kill Sarah Connor." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t think that’s going to happen, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No one ever does. That’s why it happens." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Aw. That’s exactly what you said the first time we slept together. (Phone) Oh, excuse me. Sheldon. Hey." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, have you gotten married yet?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No. Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. Don’t do it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Some important new information has come to light. Women are the worst. I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What happened now?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy has ended our relationship." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is Penny crying?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, of course not. They thrive on our suffering." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again, roll your eyes at me like I do to you when you say dumb things." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, uh, okay, just because you’re going through this with Amy doesn’t mean that all women are bad." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Whatever." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap to play paintball?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who said that? Leonard, I can hear your voice, but I can’t see you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not in the mood, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, there you are. Leonard, I know you’re upset about recent events, and I have someone here to help. (Showing laptop screen)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t want to talk to Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, it’s not Amy." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, why are you sitting by yourself?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because I am without friends. Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on. We said we were sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s going to take more than I’m sorry and a store-bought apology pie from Penny to make up for what you’ve done to me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I’m sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard. Oh, I’m so happy to see you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t quit. That’s a court-martial offence. That’s punishable by… You can’t quit." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sorry, Sheldon, it’s just not a good time for playing games." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is a game to you? Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game? Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, no and no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. I just want you all to know that I forgive you. This mutiny isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I haven’t earned these bars. Although what I lack in leadership, apparently I more than make up for in sewing." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Worst Renaissance Fair ever." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Please let it go, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was rife with historical inaccuracies. For example, the tavern girl serving flagons of mead, now her costume was obviously Germanic, but in 1487 the Bavarian purity laws or Rhineheitsgebot severely limited the availability of mead. At best they would have had some sort of spiced wine." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re nitpicking." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh-ho! Really? Well here’s another nit for you. The flagons would not have been made of polypropylene." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I promise. Your uvula does not have an STD." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you sure? It just doesn’t feel as innocent as it used to." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, six bucks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, thank you. I’m not eating pizza tonight." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, dinner’s here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tandoori Palace?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, we went somewhere new." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re good-naturedly ribbing me, aren’t you?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, look, Mumbai Palace." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why? Why would we change? We had a perfectly good palace. Tandoori Palace is our palace." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, are you gonna join us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Coming! (From the bedroom area, a wheeled device consisting of a base, a tee-shirt on a coat hanger, and a computer monitor with Sheldon’s face, appears). Greetings, friends." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, now my uncles are bald, but my Aunt Edna is one of the hairiest women you will ever meet. So… Sweet lady. It always tickles when she hugs me. (Sheldon knocks and enters again.) What now?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have to make pee-pee." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you remember how upset I was when they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, you walked around for a week saying, Sheldon unhappy with casting choice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But, then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in The Avengers, and he was even better." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What’s your point?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Call me a romantic. I like to think that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, this is Tom." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hi Tom. Sheldon? Didn’t I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, you were very clear, as was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Chosen by science?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, what passes for science on dating sites. They claim to use heuristic algorithms, but it may well be hokum." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hi Tom. Sheldon? Didn’t I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, you were very clear, as was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Chosen by science?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, what passes for science on dating sites. They claim to use heuristic algorithms, but it may well be hokum." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You got Penny to sign up for online dating?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, of course not. No, I used trickery and deceit." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, aren’t you going to introduce us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. I have people for that now. You’re up." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I know what you’re doing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, you’re using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behaviour." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very good. Chocolate?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, I don’t want any chocolate! Sheldon, you can’t train my girlfriend like a lab rat." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Actually, it turns out I can." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, I don’t want any chocolate! Sheldon, you can’t train my girlfriend like a lab rat." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Actually, it turns out I can." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, you shouldn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard? You weren’t happy with my previous approach to dealing with her, so I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques, building on the work of Thorndike and B.F. Skinner. By this time next week, I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool, balancing a beach ball on her nose." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, can you believe that we’re driving in a van that was owned by one of the greatest scientific minds of the 20th century? It’s like the Batmobile. If Batman was real and a physicist and his car wasn’t cool." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is extraordinary." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re just assigning random numbers to things based on your opinion." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I’m not. French fries have three variables, crispiness, saltiness and shape. Which is why a curly fry only gets a two. If I wanted curls for dinner, I’d order a clown wig." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hold on to that thought. (Knocks on Sheldon’s bedroom door)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Come in. (They enter. The room is full of cats.)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Surprise." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mom, what an unexpected pleasure." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s not helpful. It’s fun to think about, but it’s not helpful. Hey, Sheldon, we are on a serious time crunch. We can’t do this without you. Can you please pull it together?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. Yes, of course." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just, please, bear with me if I display symptoms of caffeine withdrawal." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, wake up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Danger, danger." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Zip it pip it. Can I have your phone number?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re two for two." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why can’t he have a desk, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Lord, will this day never end? As I’ve explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali, whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him when it’s convenient, there’s absolutely no money in my budget for additional office furniture." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s my office." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, all right. He can buy his own desk." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you didn’t discover him, you merely noticed he was here, much like he did with 2008 NQ sub 17." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, sorry. (Smiles)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He gets a new office, I can’t even get paper towels in the men’s room?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Damn, this is hard. (Smiles)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. I’m a little concerned. Blueberries are rich in antioxidants." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, with all those antioxidants, what if I run out of oxidants?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, we haven’t won a game all night. Now, you either stick your face in that pie or I’m gonna stick that pie in your face." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s rude." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "From your vantage point, it certainly must seem so." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon has kind of a photographic memory." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Photographic is a misnomer. I have an eidetic memory, as I’ve told you many times. Most recently last year during lunch on the afternoon of may seventh. You had turkey and complained it was dry." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, can you grab me a water?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Possibly." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Can you or can’t you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not that simple, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It never is, is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "At this moment, our relationship exists in two mutually contradictory states. Until you either do not go or go to Wil Wheaton’s party, you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I’m characterizing this phenomenon as Schrodinger’s Friendship." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Got it. Can I have my water?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course. Now get it yourself, you traitor." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, we’re going to Wil’s. This is your last chance." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Leonard, this is your last chance. One day, a historian is going to come to you and say, is it true you were friends with Dr. Sheldon Cooper? And you’re going to have to choke back a hot sob of regret and humiliation as you mumble, I was, but I chose to go to a party thrown by the one kid from Stand By Me that no one remembers." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m surprised you wanted to go to a sports bar, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Look at this blister. Like it or not, we’re athletes now. Besides, a bar is where I belong. I’m having female problems." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Friends! It’s Words with Friends! Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide, I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted since I was six years old." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s really nice, Sheldon, I’m happy for you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I’m happy for you, too. You are now friends with someone who is officially friends with Stephen Hawking. Enjoy it, boys. You may have peaked." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon lives in fear of the three-tined fork." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Three tines is not a fork, three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh-huh. The viewing area’s right over there. Sheldon, your girl… date… person… Ramona’s here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, well, thank you. Believe it or not, I just learned a Chinese research team at the Hubei Institute for Nuclear Physics ran a test on a cyclotron, and the results were extremely promising." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, that’s incredible." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I know. They called it the greatest thing since the Communist party. Although I’m pretty sure that the Communist party made them say that. I like China. See, they know how to keep people in line." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Drop axe." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Drop axe. Brilliant." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Give me a minute. Sheldon," }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold on. I have to figure out how to get the bucket, so I can carry the mud past the dragon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you need to work in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well then, bed mister." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Five more minutes." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really? You’re going to risk getting sleepy in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar? You know what happens when you yawn in public." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you need to work in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well then, bed mister." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Five more minutes." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really? You’re going to risk getting sleepy in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuations seminar? You know what happens when you yawn in public." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You don’t want that, do you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. But it’s a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated. Who was at the door?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If the past is any indication, no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I’m trapped in quicksand, the axe is dragging me down." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Drop axe." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Drop axe. Brilliant." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Give me a minute. Sheldon," }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold on. I have to figure out how to get the bucket, so I can carry the mud past the dragon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you need to work in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well then, bed mister." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Five more minutes." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I can see that. Sheldon, Halo night, Koothrappali’s. You coming?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes, it’s Halo night. Let me just dry my tootsies." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ta-da!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ta-da. It’s short for da-da-da-da!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Kind of busy here, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know, that’s why I shortened it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What do you want." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I came to go over your alibi for last night." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What alibi?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’ve asked me to lie on your behalf, and as you know, I am deeply uncomfortable with impromptu dishonest, so I’ve provided you with an iron clad alibi. You couldn’t have spent last night with Priya, because you were with another woman." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We are communicating through the wall." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but the communication is not encrypted." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know Morse code." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s very simple. This is A (knock knock) this is B (knock knock-knock-knock) this is C…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not going to learn Morse code at three o’clock in the morning!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t (Sheldon enters) Aw! What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shh! Ramona’s sleeping on the couch." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know Morse code." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s very simple. This is A (knock knock) this is B (knock knock-knock-knock) this is C…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not going to learn Morse code at three o’clock in the morning!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t (Sheldon enters) Aw! What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shh! Ramona’s sleeping on the couch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know. When is she going home?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Never, that’s the problem. I need your help." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not going to learn Morse code at three o’clock in the morning!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t come in here, don’t (Sheldon enters) Aw! What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shh! Ramona’s sleeping on the couch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know. When is she going home?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Never, that’s the problem. I need your help." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What are you talking about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m invoking the Skynet clause of our friendship agreement." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I guess so." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. Oh, FYI. After I eat my sandwich, I’m taking Koothrappali’s Patang kite out for a test run. Would you like to get your delta-wing raptor and join me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t want to fly kites, Sheldon. We’re watching football here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can see that. I was providing you with an alternative. A courtesy I was never offered in similar circumstances." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon? (Pause, then more tapping) What are you doing?!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s Morse code." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So we can communicate through the wall." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We are communicating through the wall." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but the communication is not encrypted." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know Morse code." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s very simple. This is A (knock knock) this is B (knock knock-knock-knock) this is C…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m not going to learn Morse code at three o’clock in the morning!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, uh, I can’t believe you used Sheldon’s toothbrush." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You used my toothbrush?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re a natural at this, Penny. And as the first beta testers, you two’ll have quite the edge when we play with Wolowitz and Koothrappali on Sunday." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, gee, Sheldon, I don’t think we can play on Sunday." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, Sheldon, let’s go mock the people buying homeopathic medicine, you love that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I’m hanging out with my friend, and we’re having fun. Look how happy he is." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. Watch out, Sheldon. This little boy Casper is a g-g-g-ghost!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Droll." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, which I’ve never viewed in its entirety, as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also, it’s really scary." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Would someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s no switch. Just listen and learn." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed to return this DVD a long time ago, and I know we rented it on your card. But it’s been, like, seven years and clearly nothing bad has happened. So in-in-in-instead of being a giant pain in the ass like you always are, what if this one time you just tried staying calm?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That seems like a reasonable request. Although so did, hey, Leonard, would you mind returning that DVD?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry. I’ll, I’ll take care of it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You whistled?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What is that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Raiders of the Lost Ark, with 21 additional seconds. If I can’t see it, no one else can see it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, this is crazy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. Crazy was leaving the projection booth unattended." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen to me. You are over-tired. You’re not thinking right. Put the movie back before we get into trouble." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Trouble is my middle name, Leonard. Actually, it’s Lee, but I prefer Trouble." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s probably a deep reason. Which I’d be happy to discuss with you over some peanut brittle in a can." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, I am out of options. Video store owner, Nursis Manookian, has no next of kin." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you seem hot under the collar, or is that the sweater?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, not necessarily. I suggest you look for long-lost relatives either in Armenia or Lebanon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen to me, Sheldon. I am not going to Lebanon to return Super Mario Brothers the movie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, it might be fun. You love hummus." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why isn’t this bothering you? Isn’t your brain getting itchy? This is on your card. This could be ruining your credit score. Why isn’t this making you crazy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I have something to tell you, but I want you to promise not to flip out." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen to me, Sheldon. I am not going to Lebanon to return Super Mario Brothers the movie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, it might be fun. You love hummus." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why isn’t this bothering you? Isn’t your brain getting itchy? This is on your card. This could be ruining your credit score. Why isn’t this making you crazy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I have something to tell you, but I want you to promise not to flip out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Seven years ago, I found out the DVD was late and I paid for it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Drat. Now I’m 8 for 27." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t worry, Sheldon. We’ll be fine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What happened to the Leonard Hofstadter who waited in line with me for 14 hours to see the midnight premiere of Star Trek: Nemesis?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. Well, he waited in line for 14 hours, while you napped in a lawn chair, he got in a fight with a Klingon when he stepped out of line to pee and you wouldn’t wake up to vouch for him, and worst of all, he saw Star Trek: Nemesis." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But how were our seats?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, since you put it that way, I’d love to go, but that sounds even more awful." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’d actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, you brought this on yourself. Sheldon, get him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. However, if a mummy bites you, all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite. So, like a zombie, that’s been eaten from the waist down, you, sir, have no leg to stand on." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good boy. Here’s a cookie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, he’s smart and crazy enough, he may have actually created a monster. (They enter. Sheldon is by the window.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shoo, shoo! Be gone!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What the hell is going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s a bird outside the window, and he won’t go away. That is the hell that is going on. We have no worms or seeds here. Shoo, shoo." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, for the first five or six years, but I’ve gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He’s like my mucus-powered white noise machine." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m gonna get the surgery, it’s no big deal. End of story." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well. I’m done talking about it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe it was your turn in the game." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the surgery, but you were worried about nothing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, you’re hardly out of the woods, no. You still run the risk of infection, a blood clot, the possibility that an inattentive surgeon let a barn spider lay eggs in your nose. The minute you sneeze web, I’m moving out." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, exactly." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "This is brilliant, Sheldon. How are we going to deploy it in Kripke’s office?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Already taken care of. Observe. This is a live shot of Kripke’s lab via a mini webcam I was able to install, thanks to a dollar bill discreetly placed in the night janitor’s shirt pocket. At the same time, I also secured large quantities of these chemicals above the tiles in the drop ceiling." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You flatter me, sir." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Let me guess, motion sensors?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The reaction will be triggered when Kripke reaches the center of the room. Mwah, ha, ha." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I gotta say, I am really impressed. This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even. (Sits down. There is a flatulent noise)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It may be low-tech, but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sure. The more, the merrier." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, no, that’s a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we’d be suffocating." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t Sheldon me. We ordered for five people, not six." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, get out here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Will you keep it down? What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast do you think I’m running?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We lived together 13 years. How can you be so awful to me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m being awful? You’re the one who went out of your way to hurt me." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because you were being selfish." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dividing our belongings is difficult." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, powder me in sugar and call me a doughnut, if it isn’t Leonard Hofstadter." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m warning you, I can play this game, too." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If it’s like your 3-D chess game, then you’re out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, I tried." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, I tried. That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second-degree burn." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I got it, Sheldon, why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you see, while Leo would not have gone into rehab, it is completely plausible that we would have talked him into leaving the motel, and coming home with us." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Unbelievable. Okay, uh, I don’t know what he told you, but you can’t stay here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, there are fresh linens on the bed and, oh, well, now, I see you’ve met Theodore. Theodore, these are your new room mates, Leonard and Penny. They’re very honest, but I would not leave cash lying around." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what do you think you’re doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My room is paid up until the end of the month, so I can do with it whatever I please, which includes renting it out for a dollar a night." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Lesser Warlord of Ka’a." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not so fast. Infinite Sheldon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Infinite Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you understand why people don’t want to play with you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, although it’s a question I’ve been pondering since preschool." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Think woman, who blew their nose and when?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, relax, she doesn’t have any symptoms, I’m sure she’s not contagious." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh please, if influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, homo habilus would have figured out to kill the guy with the runny nose." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, that’s what we do. We give each other a hard time. Hey, Sheldon, you look like a praying mantis." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s very hurtful." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No. Sheldon, why didn’t you tell me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My bad. I did send a gift from both of us." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not sure about interesting, but…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Not the time, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well. Shall we switch topics to Isaac Newton v. Gottfried Leibniz?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The smartest? All right, you know, I may not have a firm grasp on sarcasm, but even I know that was a doozy. Leonard, you can’t live in fear of this man forever." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I got this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You clearly don’t. What my spineless friend lacks the courage to say is you’re a terrible person who took advantage of his tiny size, his uncoordinated nature and his congenital lack of masculinity." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, I platonically love you, man, but face it, you’re a mess." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, to start our quest you need to open this little Christmas gift I got you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A Christmas gift? You know I don’t enjoy Christmas." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, we can’t let him drive." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then take away his keys and make him wander the streets with the other drunks." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, it’s nice to see you enjoying a holiday beverage. Pretty Christmassy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Since when is eggnog a Christmas drink? Eggs are available all year ’round. I’ve been known to enjoy this poolside." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Sheldon. You know all the Christmas stories, and the carols, you’ve got an eggnog moustache going on there. Just admit it. You’re getting a little Yuletide spirit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, don’t be silly. Christmas is a bunch of baloney created by the tinsel industry. Why is this so important to you?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How about that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Personally, I would never use a transporter. Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, he would be exactly the same." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That is a problem." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, you see it too." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nope. Goodbye." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Sheldon, we’ve hardly shown him anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, alright, this is my desk, these are my books, this is my door, please close it behind you. Goodbye." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother’s birthday is coming up. I’m going to need you to pick up a present." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, we need to stop for a minute." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, please, we can talk during our break. We have one coming up at midnight. We’ll need snacks." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re not in charge. It’s my idea. I’m in charge." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course you are. Look at the organizational chart. You’re clearly listed as founder." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, please, we can talk during our break. We have one coming up at midnight. We’ll need snacks." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re not in charge. It’s my idea. I’m in charge." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course you are. Look at the organizational chart. You’re clearly listed as founder." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, yes, and you’re listed as Chief Executive Officer, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You missed Chief Science Officer, Chairman of the Board, and Head of the Secret Santa Committee." } ]