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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you hungry, thirsty? Can I offer you anything?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, she’s my guest. If anyone should offer her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine hygiene product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s what I do. But wait, there’s more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent, and the old woman." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When the serpent slithers to an opposing player’s piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves. Ugh." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unless, it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress, a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Professor Proton was never late when he was on TV. You know, every day, four o’clock, he was there. Unless tornadoes were ripping apart East Texas, in which case we’d join him in progress. (Phone rings) It’s him. Hello. Well, I see. Yes. All right, we can come get you. Yeah, well, see you soon. Bye." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Where is he?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The third floor landing. The poor old guy’s been walking up the stairs for half an hour. It’s really you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why? I mean, okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s going on?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here, drink slash eat this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s hot chocolate with a stick of butter." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, what do you say?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll leave it up to the dungeon master." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I used to be uncomfortable around people, but then I learned a trick. I pretend everyone I meet is a beloved character from Star Trek." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How’s that been working for you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, like a charm, unnamed crewman in a red shirt." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You betrayed us for money, who are you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m a rogue knight elf, don’t you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait, somebody just clicked “buy it now.”" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, well I’m not a child, I’m a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit. And I certainly don’t need someone telling on me to my mother." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Where are you going?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To my room, and no-one’s allowed in." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Who are you calling?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The only man who can restore any semblance of balance to our universe." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Damn you, walletnook.com." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Problem?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The online description was completely misleading, they said eight slots plus removable ID, to any rational person that would mean room for nine cards, but they don’t tell you the removable ID takes up one slot, it’s a nightmare." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, now, do you really need the honorary Justice League of America membership card?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s been in every wallet I’ve owned since I was five." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry I’m late." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What happened?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing, I just really didn’t want to come. Virgin diet cuba libre please." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know. I read it before I threw it out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay… if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgemental strangers, who wouldn’t recognise true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were there, it would be." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just tell her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I called Leonard because I failed. And I didn’t want you to think less of me." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wait a minute– a child? You never see this girl. You just e-mail and text and Twitter. Now you’re considering having a baby?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy pointed out that between the two of us, our genetic material has the potential of producing the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You called my mother?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, is it really necessary to caption the obvious?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What? But he’s a mediocre academic. And according to Beverley, his sexual prowess is sub-par. He’s basically Leonard with a bigger prostate." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you saying that my dad’s not good enough for your mom?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, while also getting in a solid dig at you. Pretty efficient, huh?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "This is ridiculous. I’m going across the hall." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But why should you get to go and leave me here with your bickering parents?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen, I don’t want to be rude, but Priya’s gonna be calling any minute, so…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes, Priya. Leonard, you know I make a point of never interfering in your personal affairs." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, I’ve always admired that about you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As well you should. But I’m going to make an exception here." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, good." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Priya has moved back to India to pursue her law career. Instead of desperately trying to keep this intercontinental relationship alive, you could use that time to take up a hobby." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "A hobby?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I read recently about a fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine. I bet you could give him a run for his money." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, some people might say that it’s great that we’re trying to make things work long distance. They’d say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You video-chat with Amy all the time. How is this different?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t you like Amy?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why are you up?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How am I supposed to sleep? I’ve been married less than 24 hours, and my wife isn’t speaking to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps you can think of this n a more positive light. In one day, you’ve managed to do what it takes many couples decades to achieve." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, some people might say that it’s great that we’re trying to make things work long distance. They’d say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You video-chat with Amy all the time. How is this different?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t you like Amy?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Of course I like Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s the difference. (Skype tone rings)" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What? I’ve dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary, the word plenty has been redefined to mean two." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Look, Leonard, Penny made French toast." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sorry. I haven’t given her your schedule yet." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s an iCal download, she can put it right in her phone. And I thought we agreed that you’d have your conjugal visits in her apartment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We did, but there were extenuating circumstances." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see. Did her abysmal housekeeping skills finally trump her perkiness?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, her bed kind of… broke." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That doesn’t seem likely. Her bed’s of sturdy construction. Even the addition" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I got to, I, I, I, I got to ask. What makes you think that your relationship is so wonderful and ours isn’t?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "For starters, we enjoy spending time together." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So do we. And I’ve seen you guys ignore each other for hours doing totally different things." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s called parallel play." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, toddlers do that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not as well as we do." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, listen to them. Not even married and the honeymoon’s over." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Whatever. You can’t even go on a date without checking your relationship agreement." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you’ve got a problem basing a relationship on a contract, I’d like to tell you about 13 plucky colonies that entered a relationship agreement called the U.S. Constitution. And it may not be cool to say so, but I think that love affair is still pretty hot today." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Obviously, waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory is a complex socioeconomic activity, that requires a great deal of analysis and planning. Bazinga! You know, using positive reinforcement techniques, I could train that behaviour out of her in a week." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you let me use negative reinforcement, I can get it done before we go to bed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re not squirting her in the face with water." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, of course not. We’re talking very mild electric shocks. No tissue damage whatsoever." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you let me use negative reinforcement, I can get it done before we go to bed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re not squirting her in the face with water." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, of course not. We’re talking very mild electric shocks. No tissue damage whatsoever." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Forget it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, come on, you can’t tell me that you’re not intrigued about the possibility of building a better girlfriend." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Absolutely not." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Some perfect couple. He won’t even share his food with her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It has avocado on it. She’s allergic to avocado. Are you so jealous of our relationship you want Amy to die?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not jealous. I just think it’s silly for you to compare relationships like they’re something that can be quantified." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Everything is quantifiable. That French fry? A seven. Spider-Man? A nine. The number nine? Oddly, only a four." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Leslie, you are way off base here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on, Leonard, while I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist, or a human being for that matter, we have to concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah. I’m excited to finally meet your girlfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Speaking of which, according to a recent study out of Oxford University, when someone takes on a new romantic partner, that person loses one or two close friends." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because it’s working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I’ve co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals, and I’m close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You left out, got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The dice giveth and the dice taketh away." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, he’s right. Once, in a moment of candour, I told Amy that her hair reminded me of a duck caught in an oil spill. She stormed out. Which was sad, because we were playing Scrabble, and I had all the letters to spell persimmon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why are you even part of this conversation? You don’t know anything about women." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know that if I had a wife or a fiancée, I’d ask her first before I invested money in a comic book store." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I think someone owes me an apology." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, don’t feel bad. I think we’ve all been distracted since the girls entered our lives." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, I’m not gonna try to pick up a woman in a bar." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wise decision. You see, Amy, success at a bar is based on classic male attributes such as height, strength, attractiveness, the ability to hold one’s liquor and throw darts, separately or together. Leonard has none of these attributes, right, Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I hate to say it, but she did kind of betray you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. You see betrayal in others, but not yourself." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Going to Wheaton’s party is not betraying you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course you would have to believe that. Evil always thinks it’s doing right. Excuse me, Stormtrooper. These are the droids you’re looking for." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m going to a party. I’m not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO over to the empire!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not yet." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Listen, I should warn you that maybe asking Amy out isn’t a good idea." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Barry, a word?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And now the crazy version of what I just said." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you intend to pursue Amy, you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "True, but Penny’s married, and so is Bernadette. And your girlfriend has red hair and white skin, which really rubs up against my clown phobia." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Maybe you should consider women who aren’t in serious relationships with your closest friends?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s that prostate doctor, but I’m still mad at her. Oh, there’s a woman. I’ll make her my girlfriend." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, for starters, you’ve broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh, somebody call the burn ward. And back to the zone." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I’m so sure I’m going to regret this, but, who was I with?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The fun loving, and morally loose, Miss Maggie McGeary." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, God." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You met her at Pasadena’s most popular Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwin’s, where Maggie spends her nights tending bar, with a head full of curls and a heart full of dreams." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "C’mon Raj, how am I supposed to know who she’s attracted to. Or was attracted to. Or who she might be attracted to. In the future." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I have nothing to contribute to this conversation. Because I too know absolutely nothing about Priya’s preferences in male companionship. And with that, I will re-zip my lip." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’ve heard of that place, isn’t that Pasadena’s favourite Irish watering hole." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you meet anyone interesting there, perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "As a matter of fact I.. I… I can’t… I can’t… I can’t do it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sure you can, you’re doing fine, it’s very believable." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look, I’m sorry Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t listen to him, he’s still light headed from all the Irish whiskey and pickled eggs in his system." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, seriously, I think I’ve finally figured out my problem with women." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What does that have to do with me and women?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing. It was a desperate attempt to introduce an alternate topic of conversation." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, Penny, but we’re…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, no, don’t tell her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "…playing Klingon Boggle." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother, the current Mrs. Wolowitz." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is qochbe’ spelled with a (gargling) or a (guttural grunt)?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, quite the kerfuffle." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Then Amy got mad and left?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Walked right out the door." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Enjoyed a delightful dinner at a reasonable price. The manager recognized Wil and let us sit right next to the frozen yoghurt machine. Right next to it. I was closer to it than I am to you right now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, I think Amy might be upset." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why’s that?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Walked right out the door." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Enjoyed a delightful dinner at a reasonable price. The manager recognized Wil and let us sit right next to the frozen yoghurt machine. Right next to it. I was closer to it than I am to you right now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, I think Amy might be upset." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why’s that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because your friend was rude to her, and then you went to dinner with him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re just repeating what I said. It’s like living with a lactose-intolerant parrot." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, I think Amy might be upset." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why’s that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because your friend was rude to her, and then you went to dinner with him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re just repeating what I said. It’s like living with a lactose-intolerant parrot." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Trust me, call her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. It’s a shame you didn’t go to dinner with us, because the buffet you’re about to enjoy only serves humble pie, a dessert much less tasty than frozen yoghurt. I was this close." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, look who’s out after dark, like a big boy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was out raising heck with Mr. Wil Wheaton. Four hours more and we would have closed down the HomeTown Buffet." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I thought you had plans with Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I did, but then Wil called Amy a pain in the A-S-S. She got huffy and left, then Wil and I headed out to dinner. That place really did remind me of my hometown. Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was out raising heck with Mr. Wil Wheaton. Four hours more and we would have closed down the HomeTown Buffet." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I thought you had plans with Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I did, but then Wil called Amy a pain in the A-S-S. She got huffy and left, then Wil and I headed out to dinner. That place really did remind me of my hometown. Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, quite the kerfuffle." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I thought you had plans with Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I did, but then Wil called Amy a pain in the A-S-S. She got huffy and left, then Wil and I headed out to dinner. That place really did remind me of my hometown. Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, quite the kerfuffle." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Then Amy got mad and left?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Walked right out the door." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would she keep something from me, you know? I shared my body with that woman. And my Netflix password. They recommended Stella Got Her Groove Back because of her." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, buddy, listen, nothing bad is going on, she just, she just didn’t want you to know that the work on her apartment was finished a couple weeks ago." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s enjoying living with you and she didn’t want it to end early." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, she’s deceiving me in order to spend more time with me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buddy, buddy, listen, nothing bad is going on, she just, she just didn’t want you to know that the work on her apartment was finished a couple weeks ago." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s enjoying living with you and she didn’t want it to end early." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, she’s deceiving me in order to spend more time with me?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Well, I feel both flattered and hurt. Like when people say I look like that skeleton from Nightmare Before Christmas." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. Well, you know, just being myself, really." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, please, you know, I’ll tell you how he did it. Implacable, relentless badgering. In urology terms, he was a drug-resistant staph infection. And she was a urethra that could not shake him." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you going to confront Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Eventually, I guess. Although, I am kind of curious how long she thinks she can keep hiding my stuff without me knowing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm. You know, perhaps instead of confronting them, we should see how far they’re willing to spin their tangled webs. Like that Spider-Man action figure that used to be on your desk." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You bought her a ring?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no. This has been in my family for generations. Except for a short time when Comanches cut off my great-great-great-grandmother’s finger and stole it." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, she’s your friend. Step up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Amy. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy. (Knock, knock, knock) Amy. Bye." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where are you going?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry I’m moving slowly." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I don’t mind. If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket, it would be like I’m walking with my grandma." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no. A plaque? Nobody wants to see this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, change plaque to mixed-race couple and you are my grandma." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t take this any more. (Knock, knock, knock) Bert. (Knock, knock, knock) Bert. (Knock, knock, knock) Bert." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She doesn’t mean it. She’s just being nice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Stephanie, since Leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball, I guess I’ll just have to pick it up. Have you ever witnessed a violent crime?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "The cultural paradigm in which people have sex after three dates." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see. Now, are we talking date, the social interaction, or date, the dried fruit?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Never mind, what’s your announcement?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good, my turn. Well, this is very exciting and I wanted you to be among the first to know…" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Penny kissing me is not insane. She used to kiss me all the time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that standard, Penny is cuckoo for cocoa puffs." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I never told you about my brother’s kidney stone. You want to hear about everything that comes out of my family’s genitals?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, congrats, and it’s nice you’re gonna be there for your sister." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I’m filling in for her husband who’s recovering from a horrible motorcycle accident. Lucky duck." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I thought you hate giving gifts." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I do. Which is why I got Amy this." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’ve come to peace with my relationship with my parents. That was a big milestone for me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, speaking of personal growth, I recently tried eating Swiss chard. You know, I didn’t swallow it, but Amy said it counted." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Nancy. You called me Nancy for three years." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You really need to work on your penmanship." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, you’re done. I want you out of my apartment right now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well said, Boy Wonder." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Ah, interesting, we’re being accused of making you do things you don’t like, and here you are, doing the same thing to poor Amy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You should point out the hypocrisy of that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s what I was doing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that wasn’t clear. Try it again, but this time drive it home with how do you like them apples, Missy?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Ooh, and one time when you were asleep, Amy totally took off her… and that’s why you’re the best roommate ever." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aw, now I’m sad I didn’t hear it." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is my Comic-Con makeup. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn’t share with his girlfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister’s makeup for a costume contest. Got a terrible case of pinkeye. But luckily, I was going as a zombie. I won second place." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How did she get you to do yoga?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In pre-1976 terms, neener-neener." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Then she stuck her tongue down my throat." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold on, I have something for you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What’s this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just a few things you may need tonight. There’s, uh, baby oil, condoms and, uh, a little something I procured from the school of pharmacology. They say it is to Viagra as Viagra is to a green M&M." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I am not going to have sex with her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe this will overcome your reluctance. I went on the Internet and found a photograph of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham to get your libido humming. Check out those saddle shoes. Rar!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I am not going to have sex with her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe this will overcome your reluctance. I went on the Internet and found a photograph of a 25-year-old Mrs. Latham to get your libido humming. Check out those saddle shoes. Rar!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you insane? I’m not going to prostitute myself just so we can get some new equipment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, come on! Why not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I even said off the chain mail, and she still wants to go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s probably my fault. She may have heard about my cool Dumbledore costume." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you ask me, this whole thing is a waste of our time." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Helping women? Y" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Helping anyone. People should take care of themselves." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, like yesterday, when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not saying people can’t use tools. Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, like yesterday, when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not saying people can’t use tools. Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You don’t think it’s worthwhile to try to get more women working in science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think that’s incredibly sexist of you. I believe in a gender-blind society like in Star Trek, where women and men of all races and creeds work side by side as equals." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I can’t take all the credit. I spoke with Leonard’s mother, and she made me feel better." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know who you talked to, but that wasn’t my mother." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Beverly pointed out that I’m experiencing insecurities in my relationship with Amy, in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If real dogs gave me buttons, I’d like them, too. Well, I think it’s very nice that you’re helping out our friend." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And I think it’s nice that you’re taking whatever medication Amy’s clearly giving you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And what is that supposed to mean?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re making her uncomfortable." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’m sorry. Well, if it helps you feel any better you’re doing very well so far. Next question, are you fertile?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait! Where are you going? Penny, come back! I’ll get you ice cream!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, let her go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you insane? If she leaves, it’s over!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sure she’ll still love him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wouldn’t." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, what do you want to do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I want to leave." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s the protocol for leaving?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know, I’ve never reneged on a proffer of sperm before." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let’s try just walking out." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That woman in there’s not going to have sex with you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well I’m not trying to have sex with her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good. Then you won’t be disappointed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What makes you think she wouldn’t have sex with me, I’m a male and she’s a female?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but not of the same species." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not going to engage in hypotheticals here, I’m just trying to be a good neighbour." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What makes you think she wouldn’t have sex with me, I’m a male and she’s a female?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but not of the same species." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not going to engage in hypotheticals here, I’m just trying to be a good neighbour." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop that I wouldn’t participate. However briefly." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins, slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Mmm, you liked Professor Guyster’s wedding." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "They had a make your own sundae bar. Ooh, that was a night to remember. Do you know, on the one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I remember waking up in the morning, Amy rubbing Vicks on my chest. And her hands were like two frozen chunks of tundra. I took some cold medicine to… I took cold medicine." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You did seem a little loopy when you showed up at the lab." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "At, at the lab? Why am I naked from the waist down?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, would you be a lamb?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s kidding." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, wait. Where’s my bag? My phone and my wallet are in my bag." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, I have something for you. Per our roommate agreement, this is your 24-hour notice that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "When you say non-related female, you still mean human, right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course. Pets are banned under the roommate agreement, with the exception of service animals, such as seeing eye dogs and, one day, cybernetically-enhanced helper monkeys." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What exactly does that expression mean, friends with benefits? Does he provide her with health insurance?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No. Look, imagine you maintained a friendship with someone you had sex with, but you were free to date whoever you wanted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, I can’t imagine any of that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Alright, back to the game." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe it’s my turn, you may begin your questions whenever you’re ready." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I don’t like it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Mm, if it makes you feel better, you still dress like a child." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, but it’s not just video games. I downloaded the new O.S. for my phone, took me a week to stop accidentally texting kissy faces to everyone." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Elegant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s because it’s simple." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And a third person. It’s three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn’t been such a hound dog, we’d all have time machines." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And a third person. It’s three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn’t been such a hound dog, we’d all have time machines." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Got it. Bye." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know I’m right." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Actually, you did do one of them together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She didn’t dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographic location." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s so sweet, you think I have self-esteem." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Doctor Hofstadter, I want you to meet my mother, Mary." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, well, that’s laying it on a little thick." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You think it’s time you apologize to her yourself?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I suppose so. But if I get out of the line, I’ll lose my spot." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did I misspeak about the ring?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, and we’ll get back to that. But, uh, even with your mother here, you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom. You’re like one of those elephant seal pups that steals the milk from two mothers." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you mean what marine biologists refer to as super weaning?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, you are a super weaner." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, now I have to correct you. As a bit of an elephant seal buff, the more accurate comparison would be when two mother seals actively seek to nourish the same pup. So I believe the term you’re looking for is a double mother suckler." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, you’re right. That is the term I’m looking for. You are a dirty double mother suckler." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out. How dare you." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, you have milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, parmesan crust. Your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy’s Day balloon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not quite accurate. The Macy’s balloons are filled with helium, whereas Leonard produces copious amounts of methane." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Until you have kids." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good news, Raj. I got the blood work back from the lab. You’re okay to stay for a while." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That is true. She keeps asking how long Amy’s going to be gone." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, so, Ramona, tell us about yourself. Do you, do you have a boyfriend?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, your wife is sitting right here. What are you doing?" } ]