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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You see what you’re doing? Stop that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fascinating." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, with that sorted out, I’m happy to answer your question, Bernadette. Howard started it." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I didn’t do anything. I was just sitting here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wasn’t referring to this evening. Ten years ago, upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C-3PO and Pee-wee Herman. And he called me C-3P-wee Herman." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, that, right there, that equivocation and self-doubt, that is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "They didn’t quit. They were massacred by, like, a gazillion angry Mexicans." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Alright, let me put it this way. Your gross receipts on this one order will be over $3,000 for one night’s work." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, I bet you anything it’s just ’cause you’re a pain in the ass." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re just saying that to make me feel better." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you understand how important Hawking is to me? When I was six years old, I dressed up as him for Halloween." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re kidding." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, sir, no, I took my dad’s desk chair, attached a Speak & Spell to it and made my sister push me up and down the block to trick or treat. Granted most people thought I was R2-D2, but still, I got a lot of candy." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "‘Cause we’re not in it for the stuff. We’re in it for the groupies." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Personally, I find the notion of external rewards demeaning. I pursue science for the intrinsic joy of discovery." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What happened to me? When did I become an old man baffled by modern technology? Next thing you know, I’ll be hitching my pants up to my armpits and complaining about the awful music the kids are listening to." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is awful, isn’t it? Listen to that noise." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Now, this is rare. I don’t know which one of you I want to stop talking first." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The theory is that if you really tax your brain, the neurofibers will become thicker and the glial cells more lustrous." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Since we all agree Episode I isn’t our favourite, maybe we just skip it this time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, I think you of all people should avoid espousing the principle that if something is not our favourite we should just get rid of it." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "It’s not about the money. It’s about solving a problem. It’s why I became an engineer. It’s what I like to do, it’s what I’m trained to do. It’s who I am." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, look at you, the little engineer that could." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, what a sad state of affairs. That you’ve all been so ground down by life, you don’t even notice when someone disrespects you." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I can’t believe we’re gonna get beat up, and it’s not because of your chair." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, right now, at the back of this line, there’s a movie fan like you who’s not going to get in, because this person simply doesn’t care. Yeah, well, 61 years ago, there was another person at the back of the line and her name was Rosa Parks." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "They wouldn’t say." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I feel so betrayed. You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he’s the other kind." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "No, just for the fun of it, I’m gonna take his side." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now, how do you propose I get home?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "No thanks, peanuts, I can’t afford to swell up in these tights." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m confused. If there’s no costume parade, what are we doing here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve never slept on an air mattress before. No lumbar support whatsoever." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Maybe you’d be happier on a park bench?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t see any way to get a park bench in here." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Do you want to switch?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, that’s fine. I’m perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Get out of bed, we’re switching." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now, only if you want to." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sounds like a cricket." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on. Based on the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature in this room, it is a snowy tree cricket." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, give me a frickin’ break. How could you possibly know that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature. A precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Shh! Elevator shaft." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Help me open it." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Are you crazy? We can’t go down an empty elevator shaft." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine, if you don’t want to proceed, then you forfeit the bet, and I’ll take possession of your Fantastic Four." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let’s open her up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Shiksa. Shik-sa." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in east Texas. And if it was, it wasn’t spoken for long." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, fine, whatever. The point is, you’re wrong again." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We haven’t established that I’m wrong once." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right. Tell you what, let’s go down to the Entomology Department and let Professor" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s a snowy tree cricket, and his name is Jiminy. (They leave)" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, dead cat named Lucky, continue." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "While others mourned Lucky, I realised his untimely demise provided me with the opportunity to replace him with something more suited to my pet needs. A faithful companion that I could snuggle with at night, and yet would be capable of killing upon telepathic command." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "So, not a puppy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please, no, nothing so pedestrian. I wanted a griffin." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, here it is. Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hi." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s up?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you on your pending nuptials. So I hopped on the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand. Put ‘er there, you old so-and-so." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, I, I’m gonna see you at work in 12 hours, don’t you think it could have waited until then?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Holy smoke, why didn’t I think of that? You’re a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz. You put ‘er there, you son of a gun!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. If anything, I made it worse. In any case, I have been riddled with guilt, which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep. So, I’m here now to say I’m sorry." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Are you kidding me? You’ve set my career back at least two years, and you think you can make it right with I’m sorry?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I followed the social protocol. I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so I delivered a heartfelt apology. Now you say apology accepted, and I will offer you a one-time-only high five." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Are you kidding me? You’ve set my career back at least two years, and you think you can make it right with I’m sorry?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. I followed the social protocol. I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so I delivered a heartfelt apology. Now you say apology accepted, and I will offer you a one-time-only high five." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Your apology is not accepted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re tricking me. It really is, isn’t it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Fine, it bothers me. You happy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You think you’ve got problems. The gibbon is the only member of the ape family not classified as a great ape." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "How is this helpful?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All the non-human apes are classified as great apes except one. That means taxonomists created the entire category of lesser ape just to single out the poor gibbon as the weird kid on the playground. Now there’s a hairy little fellow with a genuine beef." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hey, what’re you working on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m thinking about how one could use the fact that a rapidly rotating mirror turns virtual photons into real ones as a method of observing dark energy." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s a pretty cool idea." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah. It’s great you’re here. I’d love to get an engineer’s opinion." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This chair is squeaky. Now, do I fix it or get a new one?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "He wasn’t using it. And I needed a nice cool piece of leather to wiggle my naked ass on." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Get off there." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Give me back my Iron Man helmet." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Give me back my parking space." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You don’t need a parking space. You don’t have a car." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t need an Iron Man helmet. You’re not Iron Man." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’ve been waiting for someone to have the talk with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "More to the point, it’s about finding a way to keep Leonard and Stephanie together." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, I don’t think you can." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, why not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I had no idea how much that spot meant to you. Anyway, I called President Siebert and told him it’s not worth fighting over the spot, so you keep it, and I’ll park in the structure across the street." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Howard, thank you. It’s quite a gesture on your part. You’ve shown yourself to be the bigger man." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Which I find totally unacceptable. I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, Howard, thank you. It’s quite a gesture on your part. You’ve shown yourself to be the bigger man." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Which I find totally unacceptable. I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time as I learn to drive or get a Batmobile." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Wow, okay. Well, thanks. I don’t know what to say." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There is nothing to say. Except I’m the bigger man. I’m not kidding. Say it." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Don’t be so hard on him. It’s natural to be a little cranky when you have a quarter in your ear!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement. When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "How is that not amusing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s still there. Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security. (Storms out)" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hey, I buzzed in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I answered, it’s called teamwork." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Don’t you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I’m a mammal." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Those are just the things I say out loud." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s wrong?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m looking at the math, and I think we can make the device between eight and ten percent smaller." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing for dinner on the train?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’m sorry, what?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’m afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I don’t own a pocket watch." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, my. Well, then my apologies for bringing up this sore spot." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I don’t know, but if he yells It’s alive, we run." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hey. If you knocked, I couldn’t hear you. I’m welding this locomotive engine. And if you didn’t knock, how about some manners?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "How’d you even get that up the stairs?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said to myself, I think I can, I think I can. And then I couldn’t, so I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "But there must be thousands of dollars here. Why don’t you put it in the bank?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATMs will lead the charge." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’ve also got something from the Pasadena Municipal Court." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Undoubtedly yet another snide response to my repeated letters complaining that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order. From left to right, it’s supposed to be federal, state, and then city of Pasadena." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Don’t ask." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Too late." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Let’s say that I go out and I spend fifty dollars on you, it’s a laborious activity, because I have to imagine what you need, whereas you know what you need. Now I can simplify things, just give you the fifty dollars directly and, you could give me fifty dollars on my birthday, and so on until one of us dies leaving the other one old and fifty dollars richer. And I ask you, is it worth it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wo de ming zi shi Sheldon. (Copies hand movements.)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s this? (Repeats hand movements.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s what you did. I assumed as in a number of languages that the gesture was part of the phrase." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well it’s not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How am I supposed to know that? As the teacher it’s your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You know, I’m really glad you decided to learn Mandarin." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, I gotta ask, why are you wearing a bow tie?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve never applied for a patent before. I wanted to make a good impression." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Is the impression that your first name is Pee-Wee?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, you’re an engineer. End of joke, burn." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Raj says he can teach you, what did you call it? I don’t know, some Indian meditation crap." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see. Well, I assume, since the rest of you have set the bar so low, you’re saving the most impressive contribution for last. Go ahead, Howard. Dazzle me." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problems. And that’s 24-7, buddy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I appreciate the pretence." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not amazing. All magic tricks are merely a combination of manipulation and misdirection with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, really? So how did I do it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I don’t care how you did it. I have more important things to think about. Clearly, the cards are marked." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I thought you had more important things to think about." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I do. You just happen to have caught me on a break. Oh, let me see those cards." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny’s making hair accessories. I’m helping her optimize her manufacturing process. All right, break’s over. (They start singing again.)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hold on. What are you using as a bonding agent?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hot glue." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re kidding. Any of the cyanoacrylates would do a better job." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It won’t work, the flower’s too porous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. Pick a card." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bippity-boppity-boo." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s with the wand and the beep?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The wand is called showmanship, and the beep is none of your business. Oh! Excuse me, I’m getting a text message completely unrelated to this magic trick. Oh, look, my dry cleaning’s ready. And your card was the five of spades. Ta-da." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re awful quiet. Everything okay?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not really. I had a bit of an embarrassing evening." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Ugh. Me, too. What happened?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I drank alcohol and may have left an unfortunate voice mail for Stephen Hawking." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s got a pretty good sense of humour." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I hope so. What happened to you last night?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, say hello to your mother for me." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You said you were going for a walk." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I didn’t say outside." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "So what, you’re just gonna walk up and down the stairs?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, um, I have a two-part question." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Go ahead." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "A, are you kidding me? And B, seriously, are you freaking kidding me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A, I rarely kid. And B, when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word bazinga." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "So you’re saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Bazinga. Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "It was great. We talked about movies." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh!" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I showed him some card tricks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh!" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "He even let me read a couple pages from his new book." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh!" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Something got you down there, bunky?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, please, I’m begging you." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re kidding." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, sir, no, I took my dad’s desk chair, attached a Speak & Spell to it and made my sister push me up and down the block to trick or treat. Granted most people thought I was R2-D2, but still, I got a lot of candy." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You don’t seem to be understanding the English word no. Maybe a different language will help. Russian, nyet. Chinese, bu. Japanese, iie. Klingon, qo. Binary coded Ascii, 0110111001101111." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s actually 01100111." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You don’t seem to be understanding the English word no. Maybe a different language will help. Russian, nyet. Chinese, bu. Japanese, iie. Klingon, qo. Binary coded Ascii, 0110111001101111." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s actually 01100111." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for Hawking." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let me try gansta, hells no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, look, how about this? Just give him my paper on the Higgs boson. If he sees the incredible breakthrough I’ve made, he’ll reach out to me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He will, he’s really smart." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s an interesting idea. Why don’t you give me a minute to talk it over with my friends?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How do I do that?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You walk away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Walking away." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I did it. Had to go to three clothing stores, but we finally found a dress that could envelop your mother." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I should have sent you to the custom car cover place in Altadena. They have her pattern on file." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Humorous. Now will you please present my paper to Professor Hawking?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I don’t know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, for heaven’s sake. I did your laundry, I pee-pee-proofed your belt buckles, I, I even sprained my wrist helping your mother lift her bosom." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You know what? You’re right. I should have asked you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, and if he does ask you, go. It’s amazing." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, and if we’re talking about being left out of things, you guys went to Skywalker Ranch without us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I recommend that, too. That was a magical experience." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, I’m not flying it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then who is?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I don’t know. Must be getting a WiFi signal from somewhere else." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Initiate landing sequence. Initiate landing sequence. Hey, the camera’s working. Oh, look, it’s me." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You mean the guy who used to host that lame kids show?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And you just got yourself uninvited. See? I told you I’d find a tactful way to do that." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "How’d you get him to come to your house?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As Professor Proton always says, there is no problem you can’t solve if you use your noggin." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, this is everything. What do you want to learn?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It really doesn’t matter, as long as it’s challenging." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, well, how about, oh, I teach you some close-up magic." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, I’m trying to make myself uncomfortable, not everyone else." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "It’s a hit. The dragon collapses to the ground." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. Wait. And says?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Mother? Is that you? Your little boy is coming home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I don’t know about you guys, but I have been through the emotional wringer tonight." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He didn’t date. It was pon farr. His blood boiled with mating lust." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, well, why don’t you start with a cup of coffee, and you can pon farr Amy Farrah Fowler later." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t drink coffee." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, you can have a hot chocolate." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As I will not be engaging in this nonsense, my choice of beverage is moot. But for the record, I only drink hot chocolate in months with an R in them." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s life without whimsy?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course not." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Have you ever harmed yourself, or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would have been endangered?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, no." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Just wait." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You realize, Penny, that the technology that went into this arm will one day make unskilled food servers such as yourself obsolete." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, yeah. How do you think I stay this thin?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Gentlemen, I think we are losing sight of the real issue. We are on the precipice of becoming faceless cogs in the military-industrial complex. Isn’t that exciting?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Bye." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Over and out. (Static noise)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A valid point, but unoriginal. B-minus." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "And you love the sound of your own voice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, of course I do. Listen to it. It’s like an earful of melted caramel." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no, wait. Dr. Crawley, are you sure?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Wow, okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re seriously going to get in a van and let these two take you to an unknown destination for an entire weekend?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "My cousin has a cabin out in the woods." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie Cabin in the Woods?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Also mine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. I’m confused. Why would you need both a robot girlfriend and a robot prostitute?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, boy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. I’m recovering from a recent breakup, and I’m told asking out another woman might make me feel better. And as Ash Ketchum said to Pikachu, I choose you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amazing, an intelligent labradoodle." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Woof." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The fact is I’m quite close to a breakthrough in showing how neutrinos emerge from a string-net condensate." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right. Apology accepted." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "High five. Not too hard. Thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, here he comes, deny, deny, people, wall of silence." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who touched my…" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, really sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry? You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want to. It’s exhausting. Which is why, for twenty minutes a day, I like to go down to that room, turn my mind off and do what I need to do to recharge." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, that does sound like me, but no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is there some problem?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Doesn’t anyone want to know where he’s going?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Ah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, it’s not even called the Genius Grant, it’s the MacArthur Fellowship. Just like it’s not Frankenstein, it’s Frankenstein’s Monster. Which brings us back to that hulking simpleton over there. And if anyone’s a genius, it’s me for the way I brought that full circle." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, uh, break a leg." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Break a leg. (She leaves)" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, she works at a law firm in New York." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but she’s the only monster at the firm. Between you, me and the wall, I think she’s an affirmative action hire." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, actually." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t. He’s making our case." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ye who now will bless the poor, shall yourselves find blessing. Ba-da-bum." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Done?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think the word you’re looking for is bravo." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, yeah" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yay, Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Seen it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Detailed analysis posted online." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Glad to hear it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll be able to return to work tomorrow." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s eleven fifteen. I’m requesting your quarter-hourly location update." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Still right behind you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Copy that, Red Five. Radio contact is sufficient. No need to extend your middle finger." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sarcasm?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, then. The reason you’re fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she’s the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment, your brilliant yet intimidating mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maintaining five friendships promises to be a Herculean task. So, I’m going to have to let one of you go." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Me, me. Let it be me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, you are my roommate, my source of transportation and you help me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer. You are safe." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Five, four, three, two, one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s live. Go, go, go, go, go." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You lucky duck." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I wonder why no-one else bid, this is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Nope." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do not stop refreshing your screens." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I thought I smelled popcorn." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Pattern is the same as fermions, travels on the pathways, hexagonal, it’s always hexagonal…" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, yeah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Speaking of cowboys, do you know what country has not one but two cows on its flag? The tiny landlocked nation of Andorra. Oh, the next classic episode of Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags is writing itself." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, first of all, you can’t use relativistic and non-relativistic vectors in the same equation." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Told ya. Can you fix it for us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, but this is the last time. Nice try, blockheads." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Can I get a hallelujah." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs, they are no more alike than any other siblings." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh-huh. And an irrational constant." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "E." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And a funny Greek letter." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s not gonna make it." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes, he is." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, deep-sea divers holding their breath for several minutes have shown elevated markers of a protein that can signal brain damage." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, social protocol states when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage, such as tea." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Tea does sound nice." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You heard the man, Leonard. And while you’re at it, I’m upset that we have an unannounced houseguest, so make me cocoa. Point of inquiry, given that Leonard is your secondary friend and Koothrappali is your primary friend, why didn’t you seek refuge under his roof?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Fair enough." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "He came with a manual." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Question, how am I going to get Leonard a present before the party? I don’t drive, and the only things available within walking distance are a Thai restaurant and a gas station. I suppose I could wrap up an order of mee krob and a couple of lottery scratchers." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mm, indeed." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "So sad." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dibs." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, just to clarify. When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "We stand up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excellent choice." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I got whine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I got the B word." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Now remember your card, put it back in the deck." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is it any wonder he doesn’t have a doctorate?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m fine with that." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, great." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "This contract looks good to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll say it looks good. It’s in my proprietary font, Shelvetica." } ]