Datasets:

---

Nidhogg-zh

/

Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

like 3

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Excuse us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Leonard." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "We add Bluetooth!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Brilliant. Men love Bluetooth." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, I have a few questions. I found three bowling pins. Now, do you juggle these, or are you missing seven?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Juggle." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You health nuts kill me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is Thai food." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Here we go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We don’t have Thai food on Thursday. We have pizza on Thursday." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "See you, buddy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Leonard, I have something for you. Per our roommate agreement, this is your 24-hour notice that I will be having a non-related female spending two nights in our apartment." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I saw the menu. They have soy cheese." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bah, you didn’t say building on. You’re out." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Suicide." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. Obesity." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Ha-ha." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You call tech support." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Godspeed." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you, but your sentiments may be premature." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Uh, it does. (Creaking sound)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He does sound effects, too!" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Seventeen, the larger ogre is dead. The-the other ogre says, you killed my brother, now Ogre Thanksgiving is ruined." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That is amazing. He made me care about the ogre." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I shot you for good reason, you were leading us into disaster." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was giving clear, concise orders." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "chka-chka-chka-chka-chka-chka-chka (they kiss)." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well there’s one beloved children’s book I’ll never read again." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Me too. Of course, it speaks to me culturally." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Understandable, but there’s a universality to that story which transcends ethnicity." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Impressive, but we must be cautious." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Today, it’s a Chinese food retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and tries to kill Sarah Connor." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There is no class." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Did you send everyone to the principal’s office already?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No one signed up." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, while you do that I am going to pump cerebral spinal fluid through my brain cells to remove the metabolic by-products of the day’s thoughts." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s called sleep and it’s my bedtime. Nighty-night, y’all." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Come on." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Speaking of which, according to a recent study out of Oxford University, when someone takes on a new romantic partner, that person loses one or two close friends." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Since when do you read social science?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I go to the bathroom like everybody else." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s ridiculous." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. Anyway, when I was eight, a Montgomery-Ward delivery van ran over our cat, Lucky." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Lucky?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, Lucky." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t thank me. Thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why are you still doing this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because it’s working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I’ve co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals, and I’m close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not sure I have a dominant leg. They’re both pretty submissive." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "When you’re in a public restroom, which foot do you flush the toilet with?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Right. Always right." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, but he had will haven’t placed it!" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unlike Hot Tub Time Machine, this couldn’t be more simple. When Biff gets the almanac in 1955, the alternate future he creates isn’t the one in which Marty and Doc Brown ever use the time machine to travel to 2015. Therefore, in the new timeline, Marty and Doc never brought the time machine…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, he’s right. Oh, here’s a thought. What if we use some form of operant conditioning techniques to keep us from getting off topic?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Like behavior modification?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, exactly. Did you know those techniques were used to actually teach pigeons to play ping-pong?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think you mean positive punishment. Negative reinforcement is the removal of a positive stimulus. It’s a common mistake." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Negative reinforcement is really wrong?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, it’s used incorrectly all the time. Even Bill Murray makes that mistake in the first scene of Ghostbusters." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I know. They called it the greatest thing since the Communist party. Although I’m pretty sure that the Communist party made them say that. I like China. See, they know how to keep people in line." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "So, what happens next?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, more testing, more success, more fame. Yeah, but don’t worry, I will remain the same down-to-earth humble Joe I’ve always been." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m concerned about Amy. She’s acting a bit odd lately." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh. Well, just out of curiosity, what registers as odd to you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Her behaviour. No, I have the feeling that she’s hiding something." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard. The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know I went to the FBI and retracted my statement." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "And they were okay with that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. If anything, I made it worse. In any case, I have been riddled with guilt, which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep. So, I’m here now to say I’m sorry." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, last question. The chaps he was wearing, assless?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can we just focus on the decision I’m facing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a Frisbee-sized wormhole, Leonard. You can block it with a Frisbee. Calm down. (Hands Howard the napkin)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Do you expect me to build this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Gentlemen." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m quite sure. Good day." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, where are you going?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Where are you going?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. No one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "If you don’t want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Off the top of my head? Uh, prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, and she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Last night I was strong-armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler. This on a night that I had originally designated for solving the space-time geometry in higher-spin gravity and building my Lego Death Star. And why? Your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette, went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy, an action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory or my Lego fun time." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What do you want us to do about it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You clearly weren’t listening to my topic sentence, get your women in line! You make them apologize to Amy and set things right. I am a man of science, not someone’s snuggle bunny!" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Did someone just feel a cold breeze?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe this is an extension of the death metaphor. The cold breeze is the so-called ectoplasmic issue of a disembodied soul passing by." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, so?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can think of many things Spider-Man can’t do that a spider can. One, crawl in your ear and die. Two, legally leave Guatemala without a passport. Three, have sex with a spider." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But first, I cast a spell of paralysis on Stuart and Howard." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Wait, what are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t talk, you’re paralyzed. I get right up in Santa’s big, fat face and say, well, well, well, jolly old Saint Nick, we meet again. Yeah, I believe the last time we spoke was in the Baybrook Mall in Galveston, Texas, when I was five years old, isn’t that right?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is how you’re going to entertain your little cousin and his friends? By lying to them?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "How is this lying?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition. This is an ordinary top hat. You’ve chosen that card freely. I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fifteen years old. Dennis Kim is fifteen years old, and he’s already correcting my work. Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to… you know, that other guy." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Antonio Salieri?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, God, now even you’re smarter than me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Duly noted, Steve from Wichita." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why am I listed as your executive assistant?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because the word secretary has fallen into disrepute. FYI, my mother’s birthday is coming up. I’m going to need you to pick up a present." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well count me out." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What? Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, why don’t we see if we can bring this back to topic." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let me ask you something, Bernie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I guess not." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard will be here in a moment. He’s looking for a different parking space." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We were next to a car with an ask me about my grandchildren bumper sticker, and I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out, I’d be obligated to do so." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Peas! Perfect, they can be electrons." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Want my corn?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t be ridiculous. What would I do with corn?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why’s the president of the university slumming in the cafeteria?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps he’s emulating Shakespeare’s Henry V, who dressed as a commoner and mingled among them, to find out how he was being perceived by his subjects. Course, if he’d have read any of the thirteen hundred e-mails I’ve sent him on the subject of his administration, he could have saved himself the trouble." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "But what about the creek bed?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The Pharmacology Department controls that, and they’re all hopped up on experimental steroids." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you want the long answer or the short answer?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hey, how come we never get that option?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Chaos theory suggests that even in a deterministic system, if the equations describing its behaviour are non-linear, a tiny change in the initial conditions can lead to a cataclysmic and unpredictable result." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, what we need now is a tactical retreat. Did you see the episode of Stargate where they found themselves on a planet with a culture based loosely on Earth’s Athens and Sparta? Not important. Leonard, Raj and I are going to burst out the door and run away, Howard will cover us." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why don’t I run away and you cover me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because you chose your mother’s veins over victory. On three. One, two, three, go!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s not the secret knock. This is the secret knock. (He knocks two, one, two.)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What difference does it make?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a non-verbal signal to verify the identity of one’s co-conspirators." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m on vacation. Social convention dictates that I let my hair down at a local watering hole. Social convention is stupid." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What happened to your thumb?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I have ten fingers and ten toes. If I tell you a story about each one of them, we’ll be here all day, let’s just move on." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Waterfalls. Crashing waves. Babbling brooks." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Subliminal messaging. I’m going to make you want to pee. Dripping faucets. Leaky gutter. Peeing." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why don’t you just turn up the thermostat?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aha! Good question. It turns out the thermostat for my new office isn’t in my new office. No. It’s next door, in Professor Davenport’s office, who is currently enjoying the hot flashes associated with menopause." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, I hate them, but it gets worse. There it is." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "The bird?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, It’s completely out of tune with the wind chimes." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Seventy-five percent?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s outrageous. This is our idea based on our research. How can you possibly justify owning a majority share?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hold on. While I’m comfortable speaking about science, I’m not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren. Better Google it." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What exactly are you looking up?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How do I get 12-year-old girls excited." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Am I? Let me tell you a story." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Where’s 70 children when you need ‘em?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college. Summa cum laude is Latin for with highest honours." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I figured out your magic trick." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, yes. In fact, I improved upon it." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, yeah, what’s that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s simple, really. It occurred to me that knowing and not knowing can be achieved by creating a macroscopic example of quantum superposition. The, the principle that a physical system exists partially in all its possible states at once." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Or that’s complete poppycock which Amy made up. It still could be the map." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, just a couple more items. Howard, I found this letter from your dad in a box. Now, based on the content, it could either be filed…" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Whoa, you opened this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I had to find out if it was personal correspondence or memorabilia. Now, as I was saying, based on the content…" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "So, how do you guys want to play this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Be ruthless. You tell him if he doesn’t start talking, we’ll register a complaint with his Internet service provider." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "So everybody knows what’s in that letter except for me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, it’s six against one. Stand down, sir." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Coming." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why did you bring that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No weapon strikes more fear into a man’s heart than a Klingon bat’leth." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Gentlemen, I’ve got Amy up and running. Shall we get to work?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Uh, before we do, what are you wearing, oh, friend who we pretend is normal?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "These are hydration backpacks. For efficiency, whenever I’m thirsty I have access to water. When I’m hungry, I have lentil soup." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out that what I’m going through is essentially a breakup. And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, one of the most effective techniques for moving on is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re reading Cosmo?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. As it turns out, there’s an article on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. Anyway, it suggests that I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re reading Cosmo?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. As it turns out, there’s an article on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue. Anyway, it suggests that I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that’s just a doodle of a hyperelliptic Riemann surface." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "So does that answer your question?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I haven’t asked it yet." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Is that supposed to be funny?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe it is. The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb to go suggests that Leonard is humorously mocking your efforts in space plumbing." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Battery charged?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Check." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What is this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re upset. The convention is to bring an upset person a hot beverage." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No, but what is it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Chicken broth. It seemed culturally appropriate. Also, there was a single cube of chicken bouillon in the cupboard when I moved in and it’s been bothering me for the last eight years. So, as they say, two birds." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll admit that was a concern. But the fact is, I’ll need a support team. And the three of you are my first choice." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache. Now, I know I’m proposing an enormous undertaking, so why don’t you take a few moments to discuss it?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s hot chocolate with a stick of butter." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because in the frigid temperatures in the Arctic, we need to consume at least 5,000 calories a day just to maintain our body weight." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, come on, where’s your scientific curiosity?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, most of it is being applied to unravelling the secrets of the universe while the rest of it’s wondering why I’m having this conversation with you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, dear. I was afraid of this." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "While a thoughtful gift, this comic book in this condition is worth at least a hundred dollars." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, so?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth eighty-eight dollars. Which places me in your debt and I can’t be in your debt because someday you might ask me to help you move, or to kill a man." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I just got called into President Siebert’s office. The university won’t let me switch my field of study to inflationary cosmology. They’re forcing me to continue with string theory." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He said it’s why they hired me, it’s, it’s what my grant was designated for, and that everybody has to do things they don’t want to do. He then gave an example of something he had to do, even though he didn’t want to, which was look at my stupid face." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s his problem?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Statistically, red cars are stopped by police far more often than any other colour. I don’t want any hassles with the fuzz." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Fine, what colour do you want?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know the pale blue of Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, before it was digitally remastered?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What are you guys doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s Halo night." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Koothrappali dumped him on me, and he couldn’t get to sleep, so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom’s valium in it. But he still wouldn’t shut up, so, tag, you’re it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m ba-ack!" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Every self-respecting gentleman should know how in case he comes across a damsel in distress by the side of the road." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If I see one scorpion, I am getting on someone’s shoulders and never coming down." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I sense you’re trying to tell me something." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You were a colossal ass-hat." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh! No, I beg to differ. Of the three of us, I was by far the most supportive." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "The other day, when she tried to put that Fitbit on me and I ran away from her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "According to a recent study, simply thinking about exercise, even while sitting still, can have physical benefits. For all you know, I could be exercising right now." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What do you mean, aw? Like she didn’t know we were nerds?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, if you must watch, then mute it with closed captions, please." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "This isn’t complicated. Do you love Amy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me. Now that I’m looking for my next girlfriend, it seemed only logical that I employ your services once again." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You sure you’re up for that? She did hurt you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no, it’s all right. I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum. Sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavourless lump of sadness." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I think the quickest way to find you a new girlfriend is just to get you on every dating Web site out there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you sure? I’ve heard that on those sites, often when you think you’re corresponding with someone, it’s actually a computer program pretending to be a real person." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "If you don’t want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Off the top of my head? Uh, prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, and she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You seriously think women would fight for you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh-oh. What if it’s Jennifer Lawrence?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You thought she was great in X-Men." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, fine, I won’t shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Maybe she’s waiting to show up at the last possible moment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sounds like a drama queen. Oh, no. It is Jennifer Lawrence." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Mmm. I’m gonna say not. That’s just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she’s snoring. Speaking of that big side of beef, uh, she’s invited all of you to Thanksgiving at her house." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mmm. You know, I’ve been told that a bald refusal of an invitation is rude and one must instead offer up a polite excuse, so I’d love to go, but, unfortunately, that sounds awful." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes, actual women are the best." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand. What other kind of women are there?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "If you’re really desperate to meet women and like having food eaten out of your mouth, I could set you up with my mom." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why is that funny? That’s just unhygienic." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, and I thought our days of pretending to be with women who don’t exist were over." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Gentlemen, I am one step away from securing a huge guest for my convention." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No we don’t." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Come on, Shelly, she’s family." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So what? I don’t issue invitations to your mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Is it ‘cause I’m Jewish, ‘cause I’d kill my Rabbi with a porkchop to be with your sister." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This has nothing to do with religion. This has to do with the fact that you’re a tiny, tiny man who still lives with his mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for some of us failing to attend my Physics Department paintball strategy meeting." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I told you my mom has spider veins, I had to take her to the laser clinic." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I told you I wanted to see a doctor’s note." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can’t be part of it. I’m just kidding, yes you can. Can you bring a friend?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I think a birthday party is a terrible idea. I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s got to be fun for you, huh? Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva out of your sister’s mouth?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. Before this evening goes any further, we need to decide where everyone is going to sit." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t want to hear this." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Then let go of the ring and walk away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Never." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right. I’ll bet your Meemaw didn’t just have sex to have your mother. I bet she had sex because she liked it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Stop it!" } ]