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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know, I haven’t seen Raj in several days. Is he no longer a part of our social group? And if so, should we be interviewing for a replacement? Perhaps, this time, we go Latin." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "He’s just decided he’s never leaving his apartment again." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, brilliant. I’ve been itching to pull that trigger." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "He’s upset because he can’t get anywhere with women." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would it help if I gave him some pointers? I’m just funnin’ ya." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How is it sexist? My character wields a battle axe as well as any man." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Not to mention she has mammary glands that could nurse a family of 30. And have enough milk left over to open a Baskin Robbins." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mother, warrior-princess, franchise owner, I hear glass ceilings shattering all over town." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, let’s do this." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Good luck." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You, aren’t you gonna come with me?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "While you confront your mother about her sex life? I’d rather go back to that bar in ass-less chaps." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "(Knock, knock, knock) Mother? (Knock, knock, knock) Mother? (Knock, knock, knock) Mother?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I had no choice. Last night, she said, why don’t we go out for brunch tomorrow and then maybe the Arboretum. And I said, well, no, I promised the guys I was going to play a video game with them all weekend. And she said, that sounds like fun, can I come, too? And then I didn’t answer for a second, and then she said, well, do you not want me to come? And then I bought her a new laptop and the game, and she’s parking the car right now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I hope so. What happened to you last night?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, well, turns out I’d already met the girl Raj is seeing when I did a number on her bathroom. And that number was two." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you know, I’ve always been a fan of a story told by Attar of Nishapur, about a king who assembled a group of wise men to create a ring that would make him happy when he was sad. And that ring was inscribed with the phrase, this too shall pass." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I wish you were Aquaman. Then I could send you to scoop my mom out of the old lady tank." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, I’m thirsty, so I’m going to go to the refrigerator and get myself a refreshing beverage." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course. Pets are banned under the roommate agreement, with the exception of service animals, such as seeing eye dogs and, one day, cybernetically-enhanced helper monkeys." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sarcasm?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes, but mixed with genuine concern." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "For your information, I’ll be playing host to Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Right, right, whereas Jewish mothers take a casual, la-di-da approach to their sons." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Tons. I’ve had, like, eight dates in the last month. And twelve if you count the ones who showed up and left." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t bring the nitrogen tank down." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, tomorrow’s Saturday. Saturday night is laundry night, so I’ll be spending the preevning pre-sorting and pre-soaking." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, what if I were to tell you, tomorrow, at 4:30 you could meet a woman who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air, exhausted by your constant tomfoolery." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’m a romantic." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please don’t tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m actually more of a theorist." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "The application in your hand, give it to her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I do not, my mother lives with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then, it’s all settled, Christie will stay with Howard, Penny can go back to her apartment, and I’ll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it’s more like Doctor Why Bother." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’d say he was doing fine, look at her, last girl my mom set me up with had a moustache and a vestigial tail." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry I’m late." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Give me a second to call my cousin." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t see how a tax lawyer from Fort Lauderdale could be helpful regarding intellectual property." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know, I was there." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, wake up, we’re gonna put in a lot of late nights." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How late?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, I don’t know, midnight, one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "One o’clock? I’m not a raccoon." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "If you’re tired, have some coffee." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What? You have some coffee." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I am having coffee." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And look how irritable it’s making you!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I say, hey Ma, what’s for dinner?”" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Seventeen. The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass. By the by, I liked it, too." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Please, we’re eating. Can we get that off the table and change the subject?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Can we? Stand back while I turn this conversation into a conver-sensation." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Under normal circumstances I’d say, I told you so. But as I have told you so with such vehemence and frequency already, the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase I informed you thusly." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Ooh. Can’t wait for that to start." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I informed you thusly." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I guess that’s that. Let’s go home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know what? I’m going back to I told you so. I told you so." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’d like to propose a toast, to burying the hatchet." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "To burying the hatchet." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Excuse me, we’re ready." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, we’re not. Let’s say for a moment that I accept the bath item gift hypothesis, I now lay the following conundrum at your feet, which size?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "This one. Let’s go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You put no thought into that." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’m sorry. Uh, this one. Let’s go!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have insufficient data to proceed. Excuse me, miss?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, we could wait a couple days and see it together. (all laugh)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Bye. Oh, good news, gentlemen. Amy’s at a conference this weekend, which means I’m available to be entertained, hmm. As today’s youth might put it, who wants to get their Sheld-on?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Bernie and I are getting the house ready for the remodel. We could always use an extra pair of hands." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That sounds awful. Raj?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, hang on. Let’s see where he’s going." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then it hits her. How is she going to survive? I mean, she has no prospects, no marketable skills. And then one day, she meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "It means after we play handball, I’m showering at home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good morning, Friend Howard. Friend Raj. I see you gentlemen are enjoying beverages. Perhaps they would taste better out of these." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tell me what?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Actually, we should all share the moment. Raj, if you would." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, tweets about my lecture. Hmm. That’s rather unfair. That’s downright cruel. Plus, insects have six legs. Yeah, I’m not familiar with the acronym KMN." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I can’t believe we’re not going." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s okay. You know, there, there’s always WonderCon in Anaheim, you know? That, that’s just as good. Excuse me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Buddy." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sorry I’m late, I’m working on a project that may take me up on the next space shuttle." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How can you be late, I wasn’t expecting you at all." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. Well, so I was right." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Open a window. It’s about to get smug in here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I would love to help you, but since I discovered the satisfaction of working with my hands on a train engine, I don’t think I can go back to theory. I’m an engineer now. And, hey, just to be clear, a train engineer. Not that goofy kind you are." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Possibly, but unverified." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Can you just let us in." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Luckily for you this is not a nuclear reactor." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Would you be sleeping over again this evening? Because you’re welcome to." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s very nice of you, but I made other plans." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, just keep in mind that should you ever need a slightly apathetic tertiary friend, I stand at the ready." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay. Great. Now, can I take one where it looks like we’re making out?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, now you’re going to insert the flash drive into the USB port. She calls me Moon Pie because I’m nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up, now, please put the flash drive in the USB port. The one that looks like a little duck’s mouth." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I said stop it!" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "We’re getting to him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Waterfalls!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This deck is rigged in some fashion." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Fine. Get another deck and I’ll do the trick with that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you’re saying this is a regulation deck?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How come I never get to do anything I want to do?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You know, if he really wants to stay and finish, I can give him a ride home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please, Leonard, he said it’s okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, can you make it soon. There’s a battle royale going on over the seating charts. In one corner, Bernadette’s mom, and the other three, mine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins, slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, since when do you take walks?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I read a study online that walking after a meal not only aids in digestion, but increases serotonin, and you know me, if there’s one thing I like more than a refreshing beverage, it’s serotonin. Bye-bye." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hold on. I’ll walk down with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that’s not necessary. You can go first." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Or we could go together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t think of a reason why not." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let’s go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold on. Nope, no reason." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, the power supply is reconnected. I think we’re back in business. Let’s just run a few tests before we take it outside. Sheldon, we got WiFi?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Check." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You, you and I spend a lot of time together. Can there be a little mystery between us?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay. Everything’s hooked up. We’re ready." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am going to record this for posterity." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "At times." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Guys, we have a code red." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you mean code red the hospital emergency alert, code red the computer worm, or code red the cherry flavoured soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, they’ve deployed our solution. Let’s just all hope it works." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t see why I have to worry. My career’s not hanging in the balance. That was a joke. It’s funny, because it’s true." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, yeah? Well, when we get home, I’m gonna take you on a whole different adventure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Another quest by Wolowitz? Count me in." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Happy now? I’m moving the dirty sock." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you. Raj, keep an eye out for the other one." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Ready whenever you guys are." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, yeah, we’ll be right there. Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, it’s not fine. It is a breach of line etiquette." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "We’re near the front of the line. We’ll get in either way." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What if every person in front of us let someone cut?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "If we’re having anchovies on the pizza we can’t take it out of bathroom time. (There is a knock on the door.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, what fresh hell is this?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tell me what?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Damn his Vulcan hearing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You fellows are planning a party for me, aren’t you?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, Sheldon, sit down." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If there’s going to be a theme, I should let you know that I don’t care for luau, toga or under the sea." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah, we’ll keep that in mind, look, we need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If this is about the night the heat went out, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. I just want you all to know that I forgive you. This mutiny isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I haven’t earned these bars. Although what I lack in leadership, apparently I more than make up for in sewing." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let it go, Sheldon. I’ll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. Jamba Juice is for heroes. And that’s what we’re going to be." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "You reported me to human resources?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You violated the sanctity of my mouth." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, I dropped your class, so I hope you’re happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I told you you weren’t smart enough to take it." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I’m smart enough, Sheldon. Asking me a bunch of questions about a topic I’m not familiar with doesn’t prove anything. I could do the same to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, try me." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay. You enjoy making fun of engineering so much, how do you quantify the strength of materials?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Young’s modulus." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not for me. Thursday is now Cruciferous Vegetable Night. Tonight’s selection, brussels sprouts." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Really? You’re changing the Sheldonian calendar?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a small price to pay." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "2311 North Los Robles Avenue, Pasadena, California to International Space Station. Can you read me? Over. (Makes static noise)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes, I read you, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Copy that. Over. (Static noise)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I am talking to a man in space. If you don’t have the (static noise) then he might as well be at the Coffee Bean over on Lake Street." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re out of your mind,Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s a negative. My mother had me tested. Over. (Static noise)" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let’s open her up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Don’t push me, Sheldon. I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13, and I remember a good deal of it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, really? Well, I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister and I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies or the classic why are you hitting yourself?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, I am not going back to the Renaissance Fair." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Come on, Sheldon, there’s so few places I can wear my jester costume." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t care. There are far too many historical anomalies for my comfort." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hmm, let’s do it. (Sheldon does not move. Leonard looks confused.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you’re having trouble deciding where to sit may I suggest one potato two potato, or as I call it the Leslie Winkle experimental methodology." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s bad enough I’m being taken against my will. I don’t see why it has to be in some hippie’s mobile sex dungeon." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, Sheldon, there’s something about this van that you’re going to find very interesting." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It runs on syphilis?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Irrelevant. See, I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one, but my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, not that we don’t all enjoy a good lion semen story, what’s your point." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My point is, if Koothrappali is moving on to a new life of shallow, undeserved fame, perhaps this is an opportunity to create a better cohort." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, instead of focusing on Amy dating other guys, maybe you should start thinking about dating another girl." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s ridiculous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I’m happy for you, too. You are now friends with someone who is officially friends with Stephen Hawking. Enjoy it, boys. You may have peaked." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked With, you’ll be off to the races." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, there’s nothing quite like the slightly widened eyes of mildly startled." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Come on, admit it. We got you, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please, fright depends on an element of surprise. The simple fact is, because I am much smarter than you, and able to anticipate your actions, it is highly unlikely that you two rubes could ever surprise me. (Leonard creeps out behind him wearing a Star Trek Balok mask)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, you’re feeling better about me today, aren’t you?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Not really." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, you are. I’m using neurolinguistic programming to modify your thought patterns." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh. Go away, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s a nine ninety five e-book down the drain." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s for Howard." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh. Sheldon, you can’t fix this with gifts." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nevertheless, I’ve hurt you, and whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You’re giving me a couch cushion?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. The cushion is merely symbolic. I’m giving you my spot on the couch." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "But you love that spot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it’s yours." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What would you like to talk about, Sheldon? Why do you hate us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve prepared a number of topics that should appeal to both the advanced and novice conversationalists." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Where did he go? (Raj whistles) We’re looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You whistled?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Another way of saying that is the movie starts at midnight, and it’s already five o’clock. Let’s go." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You know, if we miss it, we’ll have the fun of listening to Sheldon whine about it for the rest of our lives." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "See? Howard’s on my side." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Actually, I’m not. I’m using sarcasm to mock you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Drat. Now I’m 8 for 27." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Two forty-four, Right on schedule. Hey, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hello." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Raj and I are heading over to the genetics lab to pet the glow-in-the-dark bunny. Want to come with us?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard is employing a schoolyard paradigm in which you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased. He intends to act on this by not speaking to you, feigning an inability to hear you when you speak and otherwise refusing to acknowledge your existence." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, your bird death ray is ready." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not a death ray. It’s just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off. Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn’t be living here. I’d be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray. All right, and in three, two, one. (Switches on. All the windows shatter. The bird doesn’t move.)" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Flaming Spittoon. And for the record, I’m very disappointed in you cowpokes. We’re playing our inaugural round of Wild West and Witches, and I’m the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion. (Spits into a spittoon) Patooie." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "We’re not wearing cowboy hats, Sheldon. It looks ridiculous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous, too?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Sheldon’s patented blend of condescension and no sex isn’t enough to hold on to a woman?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Cluck, cluck, cluck. What are we, ladies at a quilting bee? Or are we men playing a fantasy card game set in a magical frontier town?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Alright Sheldon, why is tapioca…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Tapioca is extracted from the root of the plant Manihot Esculenta. Due to a high concentration of cyanide it is poisonous in its raw form and lethal if prepared improperly." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, how is that a fight pose?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mr. Data’s weapon is his mind. I’m wielding it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know, and Amy says I can’t have a train room." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, I just heard from the guys at MIT about that emotion reader. They’re sending a prototype for you to beta test." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wonderful. Although I’m not sure how I feel about being used as a guinea pig." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, what the hell are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The same thing I’ve been doing for three days. Trying to figure out why electrons behave as if they have no mass when travelling through a graphene sheet." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. Candy bars. Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, we don’t need to make this smaller, and your work is done. Go home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t want to go home." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "What about Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sheldon is not going." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened paychecks in your desk?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because most of the things I’m planning to buy haven’t been invented yet." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "But there must be thousands of dollars here. Why don’t you put it in the bank?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATMs will lead the charge." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I wonder how long Sheldon’s got." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "These shrimp are all the same size. There’s no the logical order to eat them in." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wo de zhing shi Sheldon." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No, it’s Wo de ming zi shi Sheldon. (Makes a hand movement with every syllable.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wo de ming zi shi Sheldon. (Copies hand movements.)" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "What’s this? (Repeats hand movements.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s what you did. I assumed as in a number of languages that the gesture was part of the phrase." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well it’s not." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How am I supposed to know that? As the teacher it’s your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m confused. I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s Summer Glau." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, I’m going to need another Mandarin lesson. I obviously didn’t make my point with those people." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "For God’s sake, Sheldon, if you don’t like the tangerine chicken, don’t order the tangerine chicken." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I like tangerine chicken, I’m not getting tangerine chicken." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "So, Sheldon, how’s it feel to get beaten up by a girl?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero. If only I’d had the presence of mind to reabsorb her, then I’d have a mole with hair in it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Surely. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock…" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, stop. He’s screwing with you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is he? Well, then, it seems we have reached an impasse. I see no other option than to challenge you to a duel. I’d smack you with a glove, but just last week I packed away my winter things." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Too bad. You know the rules of Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess. Uh, Leonard died again, Sheldon. You’re up." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Despite my deep love of chess, lasers and aerosol disinfectant, I must forfeit." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But which one of us should be the party who…" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You can do it, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So stipulated." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, God, we’re never gonna finish in time. Who made Sheldon the boss anyway?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe I’m hearing some negativity on the factory floor." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah. But, um, we were talking, and I’m a little concerned about the three of us forming a partnership." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you suggesting a limited liability corporation? ‘Cause I did not L-L-see that coming." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, my concern is not with the money or anything. It’s, it’s with how you treat me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I believe I’m treating you generously. That’s why I’ve stipulated in the contract that your contributions to our invention are as valuable as my own." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "That’s very generous, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I’ve always valued education over money. And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee of respect made me realize how dismissive I’ve been of your contributions." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "I appreciate that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the subpar education and menial life of an engineer." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Be the ball, Howard." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Leave me alone, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You weren’t the ball." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Let it go, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why should I let it go? I saw it first." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yes, but I saw it from the front." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A far less impressive feat." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Oh, come on! I need this for my Batman collection." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I need it for my Robin collection." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would I gamble? It’s mine. Let go." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "You let go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, you!" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Yeah. Well, I like music, I like science, I like making fun of Sheldon. Hit it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There was a scientist who had a theory and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K space M-A-X-W-E-L-L, And James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o, A-M-E-S…" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, well, well, did you hear that, Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry. I was trying to think of what rhymes with nose of the aardvark." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "I don’t know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, for heaven’s sake. I did your laundry, I pee-pee-proofed your belt buckles, I, I even sprained my wrist helping your mother lift her bosom." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, there’s only one thing left I want you to do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Give me a compliment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. You have very tiny hands." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No, about my job. I want you to tell me I’m good at what I do." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re obviously good at what you do." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "All right, Sheldon, there’s only one thing left I want you to do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Give me a compliment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. You have very tiny hands." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "No, about my job. I want you to tell me I’m good at what I do." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re obviously good at what you do." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Well, then why are you always ripping on me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I understand the confusion. I have never said that you are not good at what you do. It’s just that what you do is not worth doing." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hang on, I think I’ve got this. Help me see if we can wedge this little piece of PVC behind the support rod." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re overestimating the tensile strength of the substructure you’re building." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, I know what I’m doing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you knew what you were doing, there wouldn’t be a space toilet where my coffee table should be." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, he’s got Raj, use your sleath spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ve got the Sword of Azeroth!" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn’t, would you want me to tell you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That depends. When I learn that I’m a robot, will I be able to handle it?" }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Maybe, although the history of science-fiction is not on your side." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, let me ask you this. When I learn that I’m a robot, would I be bound by Asimov’s three laws of robotics?" } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Okay, who had Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours”?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I did." } ]

[ { "from": "Howard", "value": "Hey." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, now that everyone’s here, we can begin." }, { "from": "Howard", "value": "Before we do, I just talked to Leonard. And if you’re gonna spend all your time trying to belittle me by making this class unnecessarily hard, then I’m out. But if you’re interested in making a sincere effort to be a good teacher, then I’m willing to give this a shot." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I suppose that’s a fair request. There’s no reason we both can’t benefit from this experience." } ]