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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "You guys enjoy your evening. I’m gonna go before I ruin anybody else’s weekend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ah, that’s my girl." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes ma’am." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, you’re mother’s an attractive woman. You need to get use to the fact that men are going to be interested in her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, and you need to drive the car and mind your business." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I will not have you be disrespectful to me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What, you’re not my mother." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see. And is that why everybody was invited but me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "I don’t understand. What’s he doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I invited him." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "On our date? Sheldon, that’s not okay." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, it is. There’s a loophole in the Relationship Agreement." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You made God sad today, Mom." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, they haven’t done anything wrong. I think it’s nice they’re hitting it off." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, that’s still no reason to rush into anything. I mean, look at us. We took things remarkably slow. You and I, we didn’t even hold hands for two years." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Well, Sheldon was supposed to go to this party with me this afternoon, but I don’t think that’s happening." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that was never happening." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Shamy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A juvenile amalgamation of our names. Sheldon and Amy,  Shamy." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, I understand your apprehension, but let me appeal to the scientist in you. Given the five-week end date, isn’t it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment and collect data on our compatibility?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t try luring me in with sexy talk." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, please, let me go." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Come on, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Bye." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, get in here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I should’ve picked hickey." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, I know you’re a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench, but, you really have a mortal enemy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "In fact, I have 61 of them. Would you like to see the list?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, is everything okay?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s too late for Koothrappali. Let’s go." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, I’m really impressed you’re willing to try this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, admittedly, this brushes up against my well-known aversions to heat, small places, going below floor-level, dampness, hatches, ladders, darkness, echoes, and eliminating in Home Depot buckets. That last one is quite new, but I have a feeling that’s gonna rocket to the top of the list." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "There’s nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school, it is certainly too fast around a kitchen." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Been 15 minutes. Just sayin’." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. I can do this. Just give me a moment… Oh! Mimosas coming up." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, get over here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She might be contagious. Don’t you think I’m having a rough enough day?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’ll appreciate this. Leonard has some ridiculous notion that you’re mad at me. Tell him you’re not mad at me. Go ahead, set him straight." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m mad at you, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm. Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they’re angry, they’re really just hungry." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m not hungry. Your friend insulted me, and you didn’t do anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Precisely, I didn’t do anything. Now does someone feel like checking her emotional math?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, you look so handsome." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, can I come in?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t think that’s a good idea." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "According to an online message board, I may be having a panic attack. SoccerMom09 had similar symptoms. But to be fair, the twins were a real handful that day." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "You’re making me worry. What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s going on is we’re about to go to a prom. And there’s a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called making whoopee." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "This is an easy one. You love this guy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Me." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Come on, he’s an under-appreciated genius." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Still think it’s me." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "It’s not you. Now think, there’s a car named after him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course there is. The Mini Cooper, ’cause it’s me." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "How about this, he’s a poor man’s Sheldon Cooper." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Tesla." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you don’t have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, it’s a routine procedure, I’ve heard you complain about his snoring." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, for the first five or six years, but I’ve gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He’s like my mucus-powered white noise machine." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "No traffic, we’re sailing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. Like we’re on a ship. Coming from Africa to America." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, that’s completely inappropriate. You can’t keep comparing yourself to a slave." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, Miss Amy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeh, why? Eh, why? Oh, that’s why." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sounds like the night we had coitus." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I hope you’re happy making me read this. Bert’s work is remarkable, and I’m more upset than ever. This is worse than when I had to admit that Cedric the Entertainer’s actually entertaining." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, it’s foolish to be angry that Bert’s work has merit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well I am angry. And you telling me not to be angry makes me angry. And do you know how hearing myself say the word angry over and over makes me feel?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, what do you expect us to do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re biologists. Biology is the study of living things. That’s a living thing, get cracking." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "You know, Sheldon, instead of fixating on what Bert has, you should appreciate all of the good things in your life. You’ve got love, you’re in good health, you’ve got a roof over your head." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, but you’ve got all those things, and no one’s lining up to be you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. It’s very sweet. Now, slowly and carefully, flush him down the toilet." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it. Just like you did with the mailman." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Every year tens of people around the world are killed by birds. I’m not going to be another statistic." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well? What do you think of New Comic Book Night? Magic, huh?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, I’m disappointed. As a brilliant man, you’re entitled to a vice. I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport. But this? Lame-o." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, A, comic books employ storytelling through sequential art, a medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux, and B, you play the harp. Like that’s cool." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Here comes the Embarrassment Express. With stops at Fraudville, Wonder Blunderberg, and Kansas City. Because it’s a hub." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, can I come in?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you have cookies?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good. I don’t deserve cookies. Come in. Wil?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "For a man so good at predicting my moves, how come you stink at 3-D chess?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, you’re, you’re being a little selfish. Why don’t you let Leonard keep a few things?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing, I skipped kindergarten." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Pardon me. Excuse me." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, what are you doing here?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The thought of you sitting in a darkened theatre with a character like Stuart is repellent. No offence, Stuart." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon and I are living together." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Come on, Sheldon, you should go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Well, you always complain that you never had an intelligent role model growing up, and now you can be one for your nephew." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ugh, all right, I’ll go. But from what I’ve seen, his attention span is as limited as his bladder control." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Oh, uh, I don’t know. Sheldon, you don’t want to do that, do you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s your birthday, you decide." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good news, we ordered lunch, so we can all stay here and play Lord of the Rings Risk." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, we said that we would play games with you tonight." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no, we’ll still be playing it tonight, this game can easily take eight hours." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. Now that we’re not playing, you can be green." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, that really is an excellent basket." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not a basket. It’s a soldier’s helmet from 16th century China." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "That’s nice. Anyway, I’ve been dreaming of this day for a long time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, me, too. Triple digits, I’m not gonna lie, feels pretty good." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, I’m the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ooh, 101! Air’s getting a bit thin up here." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, this is highly insulting." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, don’t overreact." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m the child she was worried about? I have a brother and sister whose combined intellectual wattage couldn’t power a potato clock, if I spotted them the potato." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, what, what are you doing?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Just being the unsocialised eccentric my mother always thought I was." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Uh-huh. Bye, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know what? I feel uncomfortable engaging in a public display of affection while their relationship is strained." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, what did you do?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "We were discussing Raj’s recent breakup and apparently, I was insensitive to him." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "That’s great. And look at you, sitting in Sheldon’s spot. You know, I don’t even get to sit there." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah. And you never will. Ooh, hey, oh, ask her to do the tissue thing. Do it, ask her." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, will you please tell your grandmother to stay out of this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I don’t think I could do that." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "I think what Sheldon means to say is we’ve both grown together. Isn’t that right?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well…" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "I saved you a dumpling." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, your concern for me is touching. It will serve you well when you take me to the dentist tomorrow." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m sorry, Sheldon, I’m busy. I’m right in the middle of my addiction study. I’ve got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys, and tomorrow’s the day we switch them to O’Doul’s." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re my girlfriend and you’re not going to cater to my every need? Oh, where’d the magic go?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, open the door." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t. I’m naked." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I just saw you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hang on." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Oh, look. It’s Bert, at the bar. We should go say hi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Because that’s what you do when you see someone you know in a public place." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have multiple restraining orders that say otherwise." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, there’s a difference between greeting a friend and following a celebrity into a bathroom." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If the judge couldn’t explain it to me, I don’t see how you will." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hi, Bert." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Cluck-cluck-cluck." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, look at me. I think it’s time to face the fact that Leonard is the nucleus of your social group. Where he goes, the group goes." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard the nucleus? That makes no sense. I’m the whimsical elf that everyone looks to for a good time." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I suppose that’s acceptable." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Well, Sheldon’s getting a little better with dogs. He even took a picture with Pluto at Disneyland." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If real dogs gave me buttons, I’d like them, too. Well, I think it’s very nice that you’re helping out our friend." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I thought that was gonna break the other way." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Come on, Sheldon. Maybe we should just eat at our place." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. You took my room. You turned my friends against me. I hope you’re happy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t tell you that. I’m bound by closet organizer/organizee confidentiality." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, that’s not a real thing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, neither is the rule that you have to hold your girlfriend’s hand at the movies. You know. That doesn’t stop you from pawing at me like you’re a bear and I’m a trash can full of sweets." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, are you okay?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What’s going on? How’d I get here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, because that was not clear." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What? That was ambiguous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy, I must say, I was sceptical at first, but this has truly been a transformative evening." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m a little surprised to hear you feeling so positive." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you’re an excellent neuroscientist, you’re a wonderful girlfriend, and…" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "And?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Doesn’t matter, does it?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m proud of you, Sheldon. (Exits.)" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And a complete sucker." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I love Lisa Simpson." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Well, I know how he feels. I never enjoyed our relationship agreement meetings." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait. You were pretending?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sorry." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. I don’t believe you. I could tell." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, I never thought re-filing a matter in a standing subcommittee could be so fascinating." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm, what do you think?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Another quest by Wolowitz? Count me in." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, they’re talking about sex." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, then I’m out." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm? Oh, no, no, no. They’re from many famous people. See? Oh, like this one. This is from Patrick Stewart. It says if I come to his house again, I get to meet his dogs. Oh, excuse me." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hello, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, hello, Amy." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I was missing you again." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I miss you, too. Hey, this is good timing. Remember that Dr. Nowitzki I told you about? She’s right here." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. Hunt’s. Hey, Amy, what do you say? You ready to move on to the mustard round?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Have you not noticed that I’ve been sitting back here quietly stewing for the past two hours?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I just thought you were bad at the game." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m mad at you. How could you just go away like that without even saying good-bye, and then call Leonard for help instead of me?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny said she’s not sure she wants to be Leonard’s girlfriend anymore." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. She just took a sip from his Diet Dr. Pepper." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "So?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, if she wants to end her pair-bond with Leonard, why on earth would she guzzle a witches’ brew of his soda and spit?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "It’s complicated." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "String theory is complicated. That’s just yucky. Don’t get any ideas. All right, for the sake of argument, let’s say that’s true. Why doesn’t Penny just end the relationship?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "She’s not sure how she feels." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How can she not be sure how she feels? You know, when I have a feeling, I know it. Trains? Love them. Swordfish? I love them, too. They’re fish with a sword for a nose." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Regardless, don’t say anything to Leonard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now you’re asking me to keep a secret from my best friend, colleague, and roommate?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How can she not be sure how she feels? You know, when I have a feeling, I know it. Trains? Love them. Swordfish? I love them, too. They’re fish with a sword for a nose." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Regardless, don’t say anything to Leonard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Now you’re asking me to keep a secret from my best friend, colleague, and roommate?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Yes, please, Penny will kill me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, fine. FYI, secret-keeping? Hate it. Hand-holding? Not a fan. Hammerhead shark? I love that thing. Yeah, it’s another fish with a tool on its head." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This insistence on hand-holding is preposterous." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Well, I like it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, of course you do. You’re a girl. You like all kinds of hippy-dippy things." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Just watch the movie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not fair. Penny isn’t making Leonard hold hands." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "There might be a reason for that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sweaty? Unhygienic? Looks dumb? Take your pick." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny said she’s not sure she wants to be Leonard’s girlfriend anymore." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. She just took a sip from his Diet Dr. Pepper." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Just watch the movie." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not fair. Penny isn’t making Leonard hold hands." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "There might be a reason for that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sweaty? Unhygienic? Looks dumb? Take your pick." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny said she’s not sure she wants to be Leonard’s girlfriend anymore." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wrong. She just took a sip from his Diet Dr. Pepper." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "So?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, if she wants to end her pair-bond with Leonard, why on earth would she guzzle a witches’ brew of his soda and spit?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I hear a woman’s voice." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Is it Penny?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, it’s you. All right, I hear whispering and giggling. Now I think I hear kissing." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Yeah, like you know what kissing sounds like." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s kissing in Star Trek, smarty-pants." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Let me listen. Sounds like Leonard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Please. Why would Leonard come home early and waste his time kissing Penny when he could be hanging out with his best buddy? Yeah, that’s it. I’m catching her in the act. (Unlocks door)" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "No, Sheldon, don’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aha." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As per your suggestion, we’re hanging out. Quite frankly, I don’t see what all the hoopla’s about. Go on, Amy." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "From a neurobiological standpoint, Leonard, you may be alone because your psychological state is causing an actual pheromone-based stink of desperation." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you know that, Leonard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny was just covering for me. My place has been ready for two weeks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How could you lie to me?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She’s so tiny. It’s funny when she’s mad." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "All right, mister, I think you owe Howard and Bernadette an apology." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps you’re right. I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’ve had alcohol, and it’s caused me to be inappropriate." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny has a good point. This is like the man in the supermarket with the goiter on his neck. Whatever you’re thinking, just keep it to yourself." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was like a grapefruit." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "And I’m sure he knew that before you held a grapefruit up next to it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not making any promises. Not only did Leonard take what I feel is an unnecessary risk, he deceived me." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Penny says they’re ready to go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well. Prepare for a long night of deceit." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Sheldon, women can wear make up, it’s not lying." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was talking about Leonard. And if make up is so truthful, why is it called concealer?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Wait, wait, wait, what’s Leonard lying about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He doesn’t really want Penny to go to Comic-Con. He’s just doing it to make her happy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I was talking about Leonard. And if make up is so truthful, why is it called concealer?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Wait, wait, wait, what’s Leonard lying about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He doesn’t really want Penny to go to Comic-Con. He’s just doing it to make her happy." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Really? Because she doesn’t actually want to go. She’s just doing it to make him happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So they’re both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That’s hilarious. I can’t wait to tell them." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Wait, wait, wait, what’s Leonard lying about?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He doesn’t really want Penny to go to Comic-Con. He’s just doing it to make her happy." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Really? Because she doesn’t actually want to go. She’s just doing it to make him happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So they’re both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That’s hilarious. I can’t wait to tell them." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "No, you’re not gonna tell them anything. You’re gonna stay out of it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Why did you tell Leonard you’re working on the gyroscope tomorrow?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because I am." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Forgive my language, but poppycock." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "What if he’s right? And by not participating in gossip, society breaks down into small feral bands of tattooed motorcycle riders fighting to the death over the last few cans of tuna fish?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Fine. In the parlance of the urban music scene, what’s the 4-1-1?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Bernadette is thinking about breaking up with Howard." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I believe our nation’s tuna cans are safe. Excuse me. Dr. Greene, question?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny’s family is coming tomorrow." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, and Leonard’s mother’s already here." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sorry we’re late." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Oh, hi. Hi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, how did it go?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hello." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hi." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hi, uh, Penny, this circular is addressed to occupant, but with our apartment switch, it’s unclear whether it’s yours or mine." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Hey." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "Awwight. Let’s begin with some fundamentals. This is the en garde position. Feet are in an L. Heels in a stwaight wine. Elbow is about a fist from the wib cage. Notice my dominant weg faces fowward." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, dear." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "What’s wong, Cooper?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not sure I have a dominant leg. They’re both pretty submissive." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "Sowwy, there’s a showtage. And what we do have I need for my quantum excitation study." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you won’t need much for that." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course, that’s how you know it’s a good joke. It not only entertains, it informs." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Hey, sowwy to intewupt." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, Barry, uh, how many Edisons does it take to screw in a light bulb?" }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Did you know Edison didn’t actuawy invent the wight bulb?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What do you want, Barry?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot on my plate. We happen to live in a golden age of television." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Excuse me, fewwas. Sowwy for eavesdwopping, but there actually was some big stwing theowy news today out of the Hadwon Cowwider." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry?" }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "No, but they did find evidence that you’ll bewieve anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would you do that? You’re a string theorist as well." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry?" }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "No, but they did find evidence that you’ll bewieve anything." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why would you do that? You’re a string theorist as well." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Incowwect. I am a stwing pwagmatist. I say I’m gonna pwove something that cannot be pwoved, I appwy for gwant money, and then I spend it on wiquor and bwoads. Water." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you think he’s right? Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven?" } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "In wieu of fwowers, the department chair is asking that evewyone donate a bottle of Febweze." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If we’re going to change the topic from jellyfish, I’d be okay with brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "And turned into a puddew of goo. Now, we can either sit awound and cwy over spilt pwofessor, or we can wejoice in the knowwedge that a tenured position has just opened up. I choose to do the watter." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous. A guaranteed job for life only encourages the faculty to become complacent. If we really want science to advance, people should have chips implanted in their skulls that explode when they say something stupid." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If you intend to pursue Amy, you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "And how are you gonna do that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "By challenging you to a duel." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "You’ve had one wesson. I’ll destwoy you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That is why the duel will take place at high noon, three years from today. If you’re worth your salt as an instructor, I should be ready by then. Yeah, and be warned. I’m going to touch you all over." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course. Barry?" }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "I’m Barry Kwipke, and I’m here because you told me there was going to be a whaffle. When is the whaffle?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Patience, patience, Barry. The whaffle… the raffle is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "One more question…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, you must be present to win." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "But you have to add my name to your paper." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s preposterous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no, me as well. Uh, please e-mail it to Sheldon at bazinga dot biz. Why dot biz? Because I just gave you the business. And also bazinga dot com was taken." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Anyway, thanks again. Cooper, suck eggs." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Since when do you help out Barry Kripke?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Forgive me, but I think you’ll find my story is more interesting." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Does yours have wet bweasts in it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Better. It has a gold crown. You see, the king wondered how much gold was in it and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution. Because the crown was irregularly shaped, there was no way to mathematically determine its volume. But, while bathing, Archimedes realized he could immerse the crown and measure the amount the water rose." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "What’s going on with Amy?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not that it’s any of your business, but she broke up with me." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Weawwy? Good to know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Good to know? What’s that supposed to mean?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course it did. It’s said that Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician, discovered the principle of displacement while taking a bath." }, { "from": "Barry", "value": "Tewwific. Go ahead, Zack. Naked dwunk girl, fwee-balling, continue." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Forgive me, but I think you’ll find my story is more interesting." } ]

[ { "from": "Barry", "value": "Take your time. I’ll walk out backwards for dwamatic effect." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t like being extorted like this. Especially by him of all people." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Look, look, here I am standing next to the incubator. Uh, here is a microscopic view of the cells." }, { "from": "Bernadette", "value": "Look at that, put them in a tiny Flash T-shirt and it’s you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Aw. Yeah, this little guy can already recognize electronically transmitted images 20% faster than any other sample in Amy’s lab." } ]

[ { "from": "Bernadette", "value": "Oh, yeah, show me. In microbiology, the most exciting thing I get to work with is yeast." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, sure, grope every other male on the planet, but draw the line with me." }, { "from": "Bernadette", "value": "I brought you a little care package from work. It’s our latest antiviral and the best decongestant we make." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I hope laughter is the best medicine, ’cause this care package is a joke." } ]

[ { "from": "Bernadette", "value": "Serial Ape-ist? I thought you died in that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "She does. 42 minutes in." } ]

[ { "from": "Bernadette", "value": "Yeah. Last week we smoked cigars and pretended to be dragons." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really, Amy? Tobacco and alcohol? Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries were made by people having a good time?" } ]