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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ladies, please. These four walls once housed an intellectual salon where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach. But through no one’s fault, Penny, the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined. And again, I’m looking at no one in particular, Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine. What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Drat. Now I’m 8 for 27." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t worry, Sheldon. We’ll be fine." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What happened to the Leonard Hofstadter who waited in line with me for 14 hours to see the midnight premiere of Star Trek: Nemesis?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. Well, he waited in line for 14 hours, while you napped in a lawn chair, he got in a fight with a Klingon when he stepped out of line to pee and you wouldn’t wake up to vouch for him, and worst of all, he saw Star Trek: Nemesis." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But how were our seats?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excellent." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Penny kissing me is not insane. She used to kiss me all the time." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that standard, Penny is cuckoo for cocoa puffs." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m just saying, it felt like it may have meant something." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hocus Pocus Pocahontas." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And may I point out it is the three of you who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me. I think you need to ask yourselves who’s really being ridiculous here. (Walks away with spurs jangling)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes. Do you know what that means? That means all of this attention that you hate goes away." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So no more interviews?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, it’s all over." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t believe it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, you’re welcome." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You robbed me of my greatest achievement." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m back down to nine friends. Make it eight, I’m sick of Wolowitz, too." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I, I don’t understand. All you’ve done since you discovered this stupid element was complain. I was trying to make you happy." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m back down to nine friends. Make it eight, I’m sick of Wolowitz, too." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I, I don’t understand. All you’ve done since you discovered this stupid element was complain. I was trying to make you happy." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "By taking away my only claim to fame? Well, if you wanted to make me happy, you could have told me a joke. Or shown me a cute video of a koala and an otter becoming unlikely friends." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, there is no winning with you. And koalas and otters don’t even live near each other." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Unbelievable. Okay, uh, I don’t know what he told you, but you can’t stay here." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So, there are fresh linens on the bed and, oh, well, now, I see you’ve met Theodore. Theodore, these are your new room mates, Leonard and Penny. They’re very honest, but I would not leave cash lying around." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what do you think you’re doing?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "There’s this guy, Jimmy Speckerman, who used to torment me in high school. He sent me a message through Facebook. He’s in town and wants to have drinks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, Penny, if it were a game, here are your choices. An e-mail from an old acquaintance, or the head of one of the largest religious institutions in the world slam dunking to Sweet Georgia Brown. Pick." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just do it, ’cause he’s not gonna let it go." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, thank you. I wasn’t sure I was gonna to make it. But my mother gave me some ice chips, my sister told me to breathe, and I just thought to myself, Sheldon, if you can make it through the Green Lantern movie, you can make it through this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, good for you, buddy. We’ll let you get back in there." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Mmm, great news, Leonard, I’ve solved my Penny gift dilemma." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yippee." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You see, the danger was that I might under or over-reciprocate, but I have devised a foolproof plan. See, I will open her gift to me first and then excuse myself, feigning digestive distress." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Brilliant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It is, isn’t it? Is it okay if I hide them in your room? The smell makes me nauseated." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do whatever you want." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How about that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Personally, I would never use a transporter. Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, he would be exactly the same." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That is a problem." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You know what? You think you’re so tolerant, but the truth is you’re mean to me a lot. Yeah, you think that I don’t notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. Hmm? I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’ve been holding a lot of this in for a while." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m sorry, too. And if you want to live with Penny, then I think you should." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you mean that?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, my God, they’re just making you use your vacation days." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I don’t want a vacation." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, listen, I don’t mean to diminish what you’re going through, but I’m a little distracted right now." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, this again? So, Penny proposed, you didn’t say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to me being forced to relax for a few days?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It doesn’t." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Thank you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m gonna go talk to Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no, comfort is the enemy. You know what’s comfortable? Slippers and blankets and panda bears. Imagine a panda bear with Richard Feynman’s face on it. Warm up the car, Leonard, it’s poster time." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Maybe in the morning." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, then. The reason you’re fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she’s the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment, your brilliant yet intimidating mother." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Where on earth did you get that from?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s in her book, Needy Baby, Greedy Baby." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That doesn’t make it true." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "See you later." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just… personal reasons." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My spidey-sense tells me this has something to do with Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look, do you want to buy me out or not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sheldon is not going." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really? What do we tell Siebert?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excellent! What are you planning to wear?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, you’re an expert on trading sexual favours for material gain, walk him through this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, n-no, hold on a second, I’m not going to sleep with her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But we need a cryogenic centrifugal pump." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, forget it! It’s not gonna happen." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, come now, Leonard, this may be your only chance to make a real contribution to science!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I repeat, not gonna happen." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re not going to Switzerland!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, but I am. Didn’t Penny tell you the good news?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She told me that you went behind my back to guilt her into letting you go instead of her." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, that good news." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, forget it. I was the one who was invited, I get to decide who goes with me, and it’s Penny, not you!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Howard, could you lower the lights? I have a short PowerPoint presentation." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t need to see your presentation. This discussion is over!" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "How about Penny’s depressing acting career?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey. I mean, it’s been a little tough, but Penny’s following her dreams, and in my book, that is not depressing." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uh, um, uh, thank you all so much for coming. Beverly. Wil Wheaton. Adam West, for some reason." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Batman finally came to your party." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but, um, here in town we don’t churn our own butter, we don’t, uh, make dresses out of gunny sacks, and, uh, we sure as shootin’ don’t get our hair cut by bottle-blonde…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, be nice." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny meant if he were a purple leprechaun. Penny forgot to use the subjunctive." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, go to bed. You have work in the morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Maybe, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow I start a bongo band and tour the world." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "W-w-wuh, no, no, hang on,uh, uh, roommate agreement. No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after ten p.m." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Penny, please, we’re facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, it’s not that bad." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not bad? It’s horrible. I mean, you hear stories about this sort of thing, but you never think it’ll happen to you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So they steamed your dumplings, get over it. New topic, please." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and then he only need buy us a pizza?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m sorry, that really is how it works." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re tricking me. You tell me the truth, what do we get?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Raj, help me out here." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, it’s not your fault. I’ve been to the model train store. I’ve been to Radio Shack. This woman is impossible to shop for." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’d make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems if I wasn’t in shock that Sheldon has girl problems." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Leonard, go ahead and mock. Like my daddy always said, Shelly, women aren’t anything but flippin’ pains in the bottom." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s what your father used to say?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know. You want to get a picture?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I want more than a picture. I want to go in." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, so do I, but they’ll never let us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that the attitude that helped you get Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, but I don’t have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s a speaker box. Drive up, push the button, and let’s see what happens." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, yeah. What do we have to lose? I’m a little nervous." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, get over it. Confidence is key in these situations." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Right." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wasn’t even that hard to find." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is so amazing." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know. You want to get a picture?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I want more than a picture. I want to go in." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, so do I, but they’ll never let us." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Is that the attitude that helped you get Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, but I don’t have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s a speaker box. Drive up, push the button, and let’s see what happens." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, yeah. What do we have to lose? I’m a little nervous." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait! Where are you going? Penny, come back! I’ll get you ice cream!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, let her go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you insane? If she leaves, it’s over!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m pretty sure it’s already over." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Apparently so." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you ill?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right. Then is it fair to say that you’re experiencing some sort of emotional turmoil over the events involving Penny earlier this evening?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "When did you pick up on that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A moment ago, when you turned off the TV in the middle of }during the classic Deep Space Nine/Star Trek The Original Series Trouble With Tribbles crossover episode. Would you like some advice?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sure, why not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I don’t want a broken toy. (Switches them back again. Penny and Leonard enter.) Nothing!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Morning, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, good, you’re up. I’ve written a new and improved roommate agreement that benefits me greatly. I’d like you to sign it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why would I want to do that?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excellent question. Do you remember what happened to the alien, played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin, in the Star Trek episode Let That Be Your Last Battlefield?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence and threatened to blow up the Enterpriseand kill them both unless he gave in?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So he’s using his money to attract a mate. Is that any different than me using my intelligence to attract Amy? Or Leonard using his power of grovelling to get Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s totally different. Bert’s money might run out, but I can beg until the end of time." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, you know what? I’m not going." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you have to go. It’s Penny’s first time leading the Pledge of Allegiance." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "This meeting is a waste of time. Whether we make the switch from Post Raisin Bran to Kellogg’s Raisin Bran should not require parliamentary procedure." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You realize one of them has sugar on the raisins." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You’re the only one who eats them." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And yet you get to weigh in. Democracy, it’s pretty cool, isn’t it?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not going, you can’t make me." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, Sheldon, we don’t need a meeting every three months." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hmm? Well, it sounds like the kind of thing one would bring up at a quarterly roommate agreement meeting. Lucky for you it’s tomorrow." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, you know what? I’m not going." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, you have to go. It’s Penny’s first time leading the Pledge of Allegiance." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "This meeting is a waste of time. Whether we make the switch from Post Raisin Bran to Kellogg’s Raisin Bran should not require parliamentary procedure." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, you are officially charged with two violations of the roommate agreement. Do you waive reading of the charges?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, fine." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Leonard, Penny wants to exploit any residual feelings you have for her in order to get a ride to work." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, yeah, sure, let me just put this in a travel mug." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "See, now this is a man for Penny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, that’s a great question, Zack." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon!" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sssshhhh! Penny’s sleeping." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you insane, you can’t just break into a woman’s apartment in the middle of the night and clean." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I had no choice. I couldn’t sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and just outside our living room was that hallway, and immediately adjacent to that hallway was… this." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you realise that if Penny wakes up, there is no reasonable explanation as to why we’re here?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Morning." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I have to say, I slept splendidly. Granted, not long, but just deeply and well." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not surprised. A well known folk cure for insomnia is to break into your neighbour’s apartment and clean." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Sarcasm?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You think?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement of Penny’s quality of life." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what, you’ve convinced me, maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Penny’s taking you to the DMV, I’m going to bed." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because rock breaks scissors, goodnight." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s an enigma, Raj." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And another thing, there’s a certain ethic to the game, Penny, a well estab…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She’s gone, Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well then, it’s all settled, Christie will stay with Howard, Penny can go back to her apartment, and I’ll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it’s more like Doctor Why Bother." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon you just can’t dictate…" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If we have extra, we’ll just take the leftovers home." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And divide it how, I’m telling you we cannot do this without Wolowitz." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wolowitz is with his new girlfriend, if you had let me invite Penny then you would have had your fourth." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Have you seen Penny eat Chinese food, she uses a fork, and she double dips her egg rolls." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We don’t order egg rolls." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, I’m leaving for the conference." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Have fun presenting my lucky hunch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon I didn’t mean it like that." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Then why did you say it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t know, I wasn’t choosing my…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Were you trying to impress Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, no not at all. A little bit." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Will you shut up?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Tell you what, I’ll go two thirty-five." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Nope. Maybe another time." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Hey, guys. What’s going on?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, we need to kill a couple hours till the next showing of Time Bandits." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Oh, well, no problem. I was thinking of closing early and going home, but let’s face it, that’s just a slightly smaller lonely room filled with comic books." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thanks, Stuart. Let me ask you something. Do you think it’s okay for Penny to have an ex-boyfriend sleep on her couch?" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Me, either. Don’t want to be a burden. Hey, is that the baby? I’ll go check." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You are not a burden, and we want you to come back and stay with us." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, hey, Stuart. This is Penny. She’s looking for some comic books." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Oh, really. Blink twice if you’re here against your will." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I think we’re fine, Stuart." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What about it?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Well, uh, the thing is, the date didn’t go that well." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, too bad. I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, forget it and move on." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "I can’t do that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why the hell not?" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Or e-mail." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, that too. Everything’s broken." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, well, off the top of my head, I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. I mean, glacial." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, guys come onto her all the time, so, you need to, like, set yourself apart. You know, be a little shy, don’t make too much eye contact. And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment and, and, and, you know, fear." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "I’ll do it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No offence, Stuart, but the woman’s a doctor." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Uh, hey, Leonard, can I talk to you about something?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, sure, what’s up?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Remember I went out with your friend Penny a couple weeks ago?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, vaguely." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Hey, uh, Leonard, things are a little tight at the comic book store. I might need some help covering my share of the check." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, yeah, no worries." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "And maybe a few bucks for the valet." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, all right." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "And gas money to get home." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, sure." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Great. You know what? This is my grandfather’s watch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "18-carat gold, got it in Europe during the war." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wow, that’s very nice." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Hey Leonard." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey Stuart." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "You busy?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Um…" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Oh, good, good. (She moves away) I love you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not leaving until you talk to me." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Yeah. I think you’re the best couple I know." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Aw." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "It’d still be you, but I’d feel like an idiot." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I don’t believe it. Stuart’s putting the moves on Penny." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack. He’s a friend of ours. Zack, this is Stuart. He owns the store." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, well, off the top of my head, I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. I mean, glacial." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, guys come onto her all the time, so, you need to, like, set yourself apart. You know, be a little shy, don’t make too much eye contact. And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment and, and, and, you know, fear." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Fear?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, like, you’re afraid that if you touch her, she’ll break." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah. It’s okay, I guess." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Thanks again for your help." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No problem." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Yeah, turns out half a dozen menorahs really sets a mood." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, Stuart, have you thought about what you’d do if Howard sells the house?" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, guys come onto her all the time, so, you need to, like, set yourself apart. You know, be a little shy, don’t make too much eye contact. And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment and, and, and, you know, fear." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Fear?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, like, you’re afraid that if you touch her, she’ll break." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Well, that plays right into my wheelhouse." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good, good. Well, you kids have fun tonight." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "So, Howard’s really in space, huh?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Mm-hmm, International Space Station. 250 miles that way." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Two ten and you throw in the Iron Man helmet." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Are you crazy? That helmet’s signed by Robert Downey Jr." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Okay, if you’re going to question the importance of an actor’s signature on a plastic helmet from a movie based on a comic book, then all of our lives have no meaning!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, fine. Just the sword, two ten." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Thank you. I can eat meat this week." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "See that? I just saved us forty bucks." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Oh, it’s hard to put a price on something that’s a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let’s say 250?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, that’s pretty steep." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, Stuart, have you seen Sheldon?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Yeah, he’s, uh, over in the graphic novel section. Built himself a little nest." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thank you." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "I’d let it go." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why should I let it go? Why don’t you just tell the guy to find another place to sleep? (Sheldon turns on a loud toy robot) Oh, for God’s sakes. So, you have childhood issues, we all have childhood issues, at some point, you just need to grow up and get past them. (Sheldon turns on another robot)" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s locked, but suddenly the door behind you slams shut and now the walls of the room start closing in." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "That’s not good. My character and I both have claustrophobia." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Glowing letters appear on the chest that read, If squashed to death you wish not to be, sing of Svaty Vaclav and his victory." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "He’s not that bad. Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "My, uh, my doctor’s worried about my circulation, so I was thinking about walking around the mall. Why?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well…" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "I keep telling you I didn’t burn it down." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We know, we know, because burning something down for the insurance money is a crime." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "No, I don’t feel so…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, my God, Stuart?" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Hello." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And their Sherpas." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Well, Howard, that’s very nice of you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, maybe. Open it first." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Leonard, what’s the deal with Sheldon’s friend Amy? Are they a couple?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Couple of weirdos. Why?" } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Hey. Where’s Sheldon? Still sick?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, he’s fine. We just needed a little break." } ]

[ { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Uh, anyway, I figured this is probably my last shot with Penny and I don’t want to screw it up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Nobody wants that." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "So, here’s my question. It’s the second date, you think she’ll be expecting things to get physical?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, oh, gee, my initial reaction is no. You know, let me think about it and get back to you, okay?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Okay, so, you’ll give me a call?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, or you call me." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Great." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Or nobody calls anyone." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, it’s a regular Manhattan Project. What’s up?" }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Well, tonight’s my date with Penny and since we haven’t been able to connect by phone…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I’m sorry, it’s been broken." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Or e-mail." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, that too. Everything’s broken." }, { "from": "Stuart", "value": "Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, well, off the top of my head, I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. I mean, glacial." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Not cool, bro. I’m starting to think you’re not the kind of guy I want dating my wife." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, well, she’s not gonna be your wife for long." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Cool. ‘Cause other than when you broke up with him and dated me, then broke up with me, and then dated me one more time before going back to him, I was always rooting for you two." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Thanks." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "You guys want to come in and have a beer?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, we’re on our way to the comic book store." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "One question. How can you be sure it won’t blow up?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "The laser?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "2.5 seconds for the light to return. That’s the moon! We hit the moon!" }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "That’s your big experiment? All that for a line on the screen?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Of course it was an impersonator. We could never afford a real Elvis." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You married him instead of me? Good call. Sign the papers." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t worry about the moon. We, we set our laser to stun." }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "Smart." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Now, we’ll be able to see the beam when it leaves, but it won’t be strong enough when it comes back to be seen by the naked eye." }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "Naked." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Right. Uh yeah, funny. Uh, that device there will measure the photons that return and let us see it on this computer. Raj, get them some glasses." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Check it out, all about planets this month." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s an atom." }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "Agree to disagree. That’s what I love about science, there’s no one right answer." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, you and Zack again, huh?" } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "No, I’m almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel. It was a great show. They also said dolphins might be smarter than people." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "They might be smarter than some people." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Thanks. Wow, working on a top secret government project, that is so cool. Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away." }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "I miss that guy. He’s like the Swedish Chef Muppet. I don’t know what he’s saying, but he’s funny." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I know what he’s saying, and he’s not, he’s not funny." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "I don’t get it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "A dolphin might." } ]

[ { "from": "Zack", "value": "Hey." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were busy. Maybe another time." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If it makes you feel any better, when I was dating Penny, she used to flip out on me all the time." }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "Whoa. You dated Penny?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "She didn’t tell you?" }, { "from": "Zack", "value": "She told me she dated a guy named Leonard. Who would have thought it was you?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Who else would it be?" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "But the light indicates…" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Don’t bother. I’ve wasted many an hour tilting at that particular windmill." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "All right, I’m ready for my next question." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "In a world where rhinoceroses are domesticated pets, who wins the Second World War?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Uganda." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Defend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Kenya rises to power on the export of rhinoceroses. A Central African power block is formed, colonizing North Africa and Europe. When war breaks out, no one can afford the luxury of a rhino. Kenya withers, Uganda triumphs." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s a game we invented. It’s called Counterfactuals." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "We postulate an alternate world that differs from ours in one key aspect and then pose questions to each other." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s fun for ages eight to eighty. Join us." } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Like everybody else’s. Subject to entropy, decay and eventual death. Thank you for asking. Why is she not taking our order?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I should’ve warned you, one has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense before one can be fed here." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Really? I assumed an establishment called the Cheesecake Factory would function more efficiently." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s how they lure you in. I believe it’s called bait and switch." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist like Babinski could ever rise to the significance of a physicist like Clarke-Maxwell or Dirac?" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m stating it outright. Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clarke-Maxwell." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You take that back." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me, but a grand unified theory, insofar as it explains everything, will ipso facto explain neurobiology." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Yes, but if I’m successful, I will be able to map and reproduce your thought processes in deriving a grand unified theory, and therefore, subsume your conclusions under my paradigm." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the rankest psychologism, and was conclusively revealed as hogwash by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s!" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "Yes, but if I’m successful, I will be able to map and reproduce your thought processes in deriving a grand unified theory, and therefore, subsume your conclusions under my paradigm." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the rankest psychologism, and was conclusively revealed as hogwash by Gottlob Frege in the 1890s!" }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "We appear to have reached an impasse." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I agree. I move our relationship terminate immediately." }, { "from": "Amy", "value": "Seconded." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There being no objections…" } ]

[ { "from": "Amy", "value": "I’m Raggedy Ann, and he’s Raggedy C-3PO." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It was a compromise. I lost." } ]