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Nidhogg-zh

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Multi-Questioner_Dialogue

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[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Beverly, would you like to see the math I worked out to support our hypothesis?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You mean, my hypothesis. I hypothesized it all by myself." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, thanks. Dr. Nowitzki’s going to tell me about the work she did at CERN. And she brought me this duty-free Toblerone." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh. I love those." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I hardly think so." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why not?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, we don’t have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper body strength." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We don’t need strength, we’re physicists. We are the intellectual descendents of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the Earth, it’s just a matter… (starts to move package) I don’t have this… I don’t have this I don’t have this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Archimedes would be so proud." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you have any ideas?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Archimedes would be so proud." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Do you have any ideas?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Easy, easy (package falls) Okay! Now we’ve got an inclined plane. The force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs, call it thirty degrees, so about half." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As do I." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, I’m sure if you just apologised to Gablehauser he would give you your job back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t want my job back. I’ve spent the last three and a half years staring at greaseboards full of equations. Before that I spent four years working on my thesis. Before that I was in college, and before that, I was in the fifth grade. This is my first day off in decades, and I’m going to savour it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay. I’ll let you get back to fixing your eggs." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My equations, someone’s tampered with my equations." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Are you sure?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Of course I’m sure. Look at the beta-function of quantum chrono-dynamics, the sign’s been changed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh yeah. But doesn’t that fix the problem you’ve been having?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, well, I’m the Doppler Effect." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s Penny’s ex-boyfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What do you suppose he’s doing here? Besides disrupting the local gravity field." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If he were any bigger, he’d have moons orbiting him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, snap. So I guess we’ll be leaving now." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why should we leave? For all we know, he crashed the party and Penny doesn’t even want him here. (Penny and Kurt hug)." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You have a back-up hypothesis." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Maybe they just want to be friends." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why don’t you just tell people you’re a zebra?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, why don’t you just tell people you’re one of the seven dwarves." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Because I’m Frodo." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, well, I’m the Doppler Effect." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh no." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That’s Penny’s ex-boyfriend." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "What do you suppose he’s doing here? Besides disrupting the local gravity field." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If he were any bigger, he’d have moons orbiting him." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes, but on a more serious note it’s 8:13 and we’re still not playing Halo." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, fine, we’ll just play one on one until he gets back." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "One on one? We don’t play one on one, we play teams, not one on one. One on one!" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Not to mention you’d have to power down on Saturdays." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam’s Razor would suggest that someone threw it out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s from the Institute for Experimental Physics. They want us to present our paper on the properties of super solids at the topical conference on Bowes-Einstein condensates." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, there’s always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam’s Razor would suggest that someone threw it out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s from the Institute for Experimental Physics. They want us to present our paper on the properties of super solids at the topical conference on Bowes-Einstein condensates." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I know. I read it before I threw it out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay… if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It doesn’t need proving." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "They’re not supposed to, but they should." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Alright, I don’t care what you say, I’m going to the conference and I’m presenting our findings." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And I forbid it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You forbid it?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If I’m not taking credit for our work then nobody is." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, you admit that it’s our work." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, once again, I’m throwing you a bone. And once again, you are welcome." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Ah!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Shut up, Howard. Sheldon, we have to do this." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No we don’t. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep ourselves from dying, everything else is optional." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, let me put it this way, I’m doing it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t. I’m the lead author." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, come on. The only reason you’re the lead author is because we went alphabetically." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, let me put it this way, I’m doing it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t. I’m the lead author." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, come on. The only reason you’re the lead author is because we went alphabetically." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was throwing you a bone. You’re welcome." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "So you admit that you’re an egotist?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes. (To audience) My name is Dr Leonard Hofstadter, and I could never please my parents so I need to get all my self-esteem from strangers like you. But he’s worse." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay, that is it. (Tries to explode brain again.)" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You cannot blow up my head with your mind." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I didn’t skip it, it’s just an anecdote. It’s not science." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, I see, was the apple falling on Newton’s head, was that just an anecdote?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You are not Isaac Newton." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no that’s true, gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You cannot possibly be that arrogant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You continue to underestimate me, my good man." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look, if you weren’t happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, no that’s true, gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You cannot possibly be that arrogant." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You continue to underestimate me, my good man." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look, if you weren’t happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don’t need validation from lesser minds. No offence." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really, so why did you come?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Because I knew you’d screw this up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I didn’t screw it up." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I must admit, I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy. He can look out the window and see the majesty of the universe unfolding before his eyes. His dim, uncomprehending eyes. It’s like a cat in an airport carrying case." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know, it’s not exactly glamorous up there. The water that the astronauts drink is made from each other’s recycled urine." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "That was fast." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag. Recommended by the department of homeland security. And Sarah Connor." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Where are you gonna live?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "A man named Jesus convinced you to build a church in Africa. You’re kind of a sucker." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, nothing happened, right? It’s over. Until we get married a third time, you guys will never have to see each other again." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You can’t quit. That’s a court-martial offence. That’s punishable by… You can’t quit." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sorry, Sheldon, it’s just not a good time for playing games." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This is a game to you? Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game? Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, no and no." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, guys." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not being weird. Am I being weird?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes. And that’s coming from me." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine, you want to meet her?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s not very nice." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s a bachelor party. Lighten up." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon. We are dealing with an impossible deadline from the Air Force because of you. So have an energy drink, don’t have an energy drink. Order suppositories and shove ’em wherever you want, I don’t care." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t shove them. They come with an easy-glide applicator." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Right. Listen to me. We can’t do anything until you do your part. So get up in front of this whiteboard and do it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I can’t." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, you can." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, that’s my shirt." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "This one is, too." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s not funny." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, Oh, it actually is if you get the joke. It’s based on the premise that Princeton isn’t a very good school." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Ha-ha." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, this box only covers my work through nursery school. There’s a good deal more to come. I didn’t really hit my academic stride until I cut out that time-suck known as playing outdoors." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, you’re going to spend hours and hours combing through all this stuff?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s all right, Alex. I’m not mad at you, I’m just disappointed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Wait, Alex. Do you want to join us?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If I see one scorpion, I am getting on someone’s shoulders and never coming down." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And there’s your damsel." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You want to bet? Oh, great, now I’m addicted to gambling." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We can’t afford to lose any more time." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re darn right, you wouldn’t. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just nod and smile. He’s almost gone." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You’re two for two." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Why can’t he have a desk, Sheldon?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He gets a new office, I can’t even get paper towels in the men’s room?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, wealthy means a lot of money, and vastly means even more. I’m not sure what’s tripping you up." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Look, I know they have money. I don’t think it’s that much." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Remember, show your work." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m not okay." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Get up, we can’t lose at math." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie Cabin in the Woods?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Then we’ll go to a hotel." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, damn it. Can I have a napkin?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m sorry, no." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "But you have a whole bunch of ’em." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I hate to say it, but she did kind of betray you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. You see betrayal in others, but not yourself." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Going to Wheaton’s party is not betraying you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, of course you would have to believe that. Evil always thinks it’s doing right. Excuse me, Stormtrooper. These are the droids you’re looking for." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m going to a party. I’m not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO over to the empire!" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m surprised you wanted to go to a sports bar, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Look at this blister. Like it or not, we’re athletes now. Besides, a bar is where I belong. I’m having female problems." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "If you’re cranky and retaining water, I have a theory." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Perhaps the emotion you’re referring to was shock at you having something cleaned." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I think what Penny meant is, the thought of you two in a mine is kind of funny, it’s like a cat riding a Roomba." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "There’s a lot of harm in trying something new. That’s why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you’re talking like a crazy person." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, the Swedes might beat us, but at least we won’t get gang-noogied in prison." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Is Ernest Goes to Jail the only prison movie you’ve seen?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You don’t want that, do you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No. But it’s a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated. Who was at the door?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, uh, building manager. They have to fix a pipe so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to two." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s unacceptable. We’re supposed to be given written notice." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, no, it doesn’t matter, we’ll be at work." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, rash, that’s a bad rash." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My sympathies. I am no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis. Can I interest you in a topical steroid from my lotion and unguent collection?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, yeah, yeah, that sounds great." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Very well, I’m sure I can find something that will help you ditch that itch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, he’s in the bathroom, let’s go." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you prefer ointment or cream?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, cream." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "With or without a numbing agent?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Without." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Do you prefer ointment or cream?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, cream." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "With or without a numbing agent?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Without." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Really? Leonard, there are no heroes when it comes to dermatitis." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine. With." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Prescription or non-prescription strength." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Use your best judgement." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I think I have a nice 2009 AnaMantle HC. It’s usually indicated for acutely inflamed haemorrhoids, but it also goes nicely with non mucosal body parts." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sounds great." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You don’t tackle the big issues, Ramona. You fence with them. En garde. Riposte." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Touche." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Excuse me. If we’re changing topics, I believe I have first dibs with capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Congratulations Howard." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s also your roll." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what? It is your life. If you want to have some stupid guitarist stay on your couch, then fine. Why don’t you just rent some bunk beds and invite The Black Eyed Peas?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Be sure to check the mail." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "How many times are you gonna tell me? What’s with you?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Nothing. It’s not suspicious that I’m fixating. It’s consistent with my personality." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Right." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s all right." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "And?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, which I’ve never viewed in its entirety, as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also, it’s really scary." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Would someone please turn off the Sheldon commentary track?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "All right, you brought this on yourself. Sheldon, get him." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. However, if a mummy bites you, all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite. So, like a zombie, that’s been eaten from the waist down, you, sir, have no leg to stand on." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Good boy. Here’s a cookie." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It doesn’t matter. That’s my spot." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, it’s a new day. I have a new outlook. You know, I realized I don’t need to worry about other people. I just need to think more about myself." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, how will we ever get used to the new you?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the surgery, but you were worried about nothing." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, you’re hardly out of the woods, no. You still run the risk of infection, a blood clot, the possibility that an inattentive surgeon let a barn spider lay eggs in your nose. The minute you sneeze web, I’m moving out." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I never thought I’d say these words, but come on, nose spider." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Whatever. Can we just get back to this?" }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I feel like I know what song that is, but I can’t put my finger on it. (Singing) My country, ’tis of thee. No." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s just an earworm. It’ll come to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Okay. (Singing) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Is this what we’re doing the rest of the night?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sure. The more, the merrier." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, no, that’s a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we’d be suffocating." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon…" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, I’m not just some trained monkey dancing for coins." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Of course you’re not. People love trained monkeys." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing, I skipped kindergarten." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what? There is one thing I would like." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, take whatever you want." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I would like to keep the official flag of our apartment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you don’t even like flags." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I like this one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I designed it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "But you made me order it because you were too well-known in the flag community and they’d jack up the price." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, take whatever you want." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I would like to keep the official flag of our apartment." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you don’t even like flags." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, I like this one." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I designed it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "But you made me order it because you were too well-known in the flag community and they’d jack up the price." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But you don’t even understand its symbolism." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, I do. The, the field of blue represents you being miserable, and the lion sticking its tongue out means I’m happy about it." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Did you hear that? A mop. I have two PhDs yet somehow I’m the janitor of my sister’s birth canal." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, Sheldon sent us all an e-mail. Happy holidays from Texas. And there’s pictures. Aah! Don’t open them. Do not open them." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait, excuse me, but it’s much more Christmassy than anything you’ve put on the tree." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Here we go." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, that’s what we do. We give each other a hard time. Hey, Sheldon, you look like a praying mantis." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s very hurtful." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "See?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m not sure about interesting, but…" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Not the time, Sheldon." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "And there’s the first zinger. Ouch." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m doing okay, I guess." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Come on, Sheldon. You know all the Christmas stories, and the carols, you’ve got an eggnog moustache going on there. Just admit it. You’re getting a little Yuletide spirit." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, don’t be silly. Christmas is a bunch of baloney created by the tinsel industry. Why is this so important to you?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Honestly, because I had enough crappy Christmases as a kid and I’m tired of you sucking the joy out of them now." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who’s in the mood to laugh?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Really not a good time." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Why is that funny? That’s just unhygienic." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s a joke." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Hey, Howard. You’re a Jew. If there was another wailing wall, exactly like the one in Jerusalem, but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs, would you still be able to wail at it? Okay, it’s definitely me." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, we cannot leave this to chance, lets pick a girl, and figure out how to get her together with Dennis." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "It’s an outrage." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I know." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "The university, they think they can do whatever they want. We just have to sit there and take it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You need to let it go, Sheldon." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "You work tirelessly for someone, and this is what you get." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, my God, they’re just making you use your vacation days." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "But I don’t want a vacation." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, listen, I don’t mean to diminish what you’re going through, but I’m a little distracted right now." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, what, do I need to quote Spock’s dying words to you." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "No, don’t." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "The needs of the many." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’m fine with it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "My point is, just because I couldn’t do it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. And I’m proud of you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Ooh, sounds like that fellow knows what he’s talking about. I’d put on my listening ears if I were you." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "What did you do?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I see you’re drinking wine." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yes, we are. And we’re about to go to bed." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, no, it will. See, by keeping my mind engaged, I’ll become more focused." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Howard’s right, that’ll never work." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m just playing tennis against the drapes here." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just ignore him." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hang on. Sheldon, is proving that you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t understand the question." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Go ahead." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don’t like that." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Don’t you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Doesn’t like games. That’s one." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Ignore him. Yeah, sorry about the breakup." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, that’s a paradox. I mean if you meant what you just said, then that means you may not have meant what you just said." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Careful, I saw this on Star Trek. Smoke’s gonna come out of his ears soon. Hey." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Interesting. I can’t think of a single thing I wouldn’t say to someone’s face." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Never noticed that about you." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s awfully personal." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "We don’t ask Sheldon things like that." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wonderful. Although I’m not sure how I feel about being used as a guinea pig." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Well, when you get the machine, you can find out." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine, I can drop you off at work yesterday. Time travel joke, it’s not… never mind." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "For what it’s worth, I thought it was humorous." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Let’s just do this. Guys, ready to push?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I don’t know what you were worried about. I think it really works in the room." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah. It is by far the coolest thing I have ever owned." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Wait a minute, I’d want to see that too." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "So, when it’s your turn you can." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Read another one." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, okay. Uh, the analogy between space-time and a supercooled fluid is either meaningless or false. I wish this blog would devote itself to real science instead of wasting our time with crackpot wannabe theoreticians in a rush to publish." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Who wrote that?" }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s anonymous, and user name General Relativity." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, I’m responding to it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Uh, don’t lower yourself to their level." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, hey. Now she’s angry, too. This thing works like gangbusters." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "I’m not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Dibs doesn’t apply in a bidding war." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s not a bidding war, I’m selling it all to Larry down at the comic book store." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yeah, well, that is exactly what I’ve been doing the last five years with this little work in progress." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "He never disappoints, does he?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No, I didn’t realize it had been so long. Sure, I guess there’s no other choice but to just go ahead and do it." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "He’s referring to an activity he has done before. It’s unpleasant and needs to be repeated. This suggests some sort of invasive medical test, like perhaps a colonoscopy." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Aren’t there any other options? There’s not a lot of room, it’s gonna be uncomfortable." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Yes, yes. Yeah, I’m definitely going with colonoscopy." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Okay, bye. My mother’s coming to visit." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Shame on you. Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude? I’ll tell you. We would have the standard and the miniature poodle, but no toy or teacup. Which by the way, is not an officially recognized breed, but that’s just poodle politics." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Can we please stop talking about poodles?" } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "No." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Well, good for you guys. Look, I have a grease smudge on my hand, and I’m okay with it." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Aren’t you gonna look at the board to see how right we are?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh. Well, I guess it’s fixed." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Just look at the board." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "That’s wrong." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Oh, no, what should we have done differently?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "I’ll tell you exactly how he did. Readiness: unsatisfactory. Follows direction: barely. Attitude: a little too much. Overall: not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno, his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else’s day." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what, I’m so tired I can’t even think straight. I’m going home. Will one of you guys give this nutbag a ride back later?" } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Her reasoning is unassailable. It is one o’clock." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Fine. Let’s go. I think you’ll find my work pretty interesting. I’m attempting to replicate the dark matter signal found in sodium iodide crystals by the Italians." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "This has nothing to do with religion. This has to do with the fact that you’re a tiny, tiny man who still lives with his mother." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable." } ]

[ { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Oh, Oh, Lord, that multiplication error! He thought he carried the one. But he didn’t." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "It’s not funny. That mistake got published." } ]

[ { "from": "Leonard", "value": "Yeah, more cutbacks." }, { "from": "Sheldon", "value": "Unacceptable. It baffles me why they don’t simply let some of you go so that there’s money available for my research." }, { "from": "Leonard", "value": "You know what baffles me, Sheldon?" } ]